Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Louis fidgets, looking around. He’s excited and frightened at the same time, because he’s going with his whole class to the rehab center and he has no idea what he’s going to see there. He was always curious what’s happening behind the close doors of those facilities and now he finally has the chance to find out. The most amazing thing though, is that he can talk with one of addicted kids in there and get to know everything from someone’s personal experience. Those kind of information are always the most precious.

The building, he’s standing in front of, is huge and fenced like a fucking prison. It’s white and every window has gratings. Louis would go nuts if someone locked him up in there. He can’t imagine spending a week in this center, let alone a whole year.

“Be quiet now, please!” Mr. Higgins says, clapping his hands. The class shut up instantly, looking at him expectantly. The teacher smiles at them, checking something in his notebook. “When they let us inside, we need to stay together. Firstly, they’re going to show us the building and then you’re free to talk with patients who are willing to speak with you, of course. Some of you are taking part in our little school project, so try to find one person in there, who’s going to answer all of your questions.

“That’s us, Lou,” Liam says with excitement, poking him.

Louis looks at his best friend and rolls his eyes, smiling. He is friends with Liam since primary school and he can’t wait to finish college, so they can go together to their dreamed Uni. But they need the best grades they can manage to get and that’s why they’re taking part in this school project. It’s going to guarantee them B’s from biology. The school has agreement with the rehab center to let them interview some of their patients – they’ve got one week to do this.

“I know,” Louis snorts, shuffling from foot to foot. He wants to be inside already. “You can’t shut up about it since Higgins announced it, and that was two fucking months ago.”

Liam flips him off, but before Louis has the chance to respond, his class starts moving towards the entrance of the building. Louis quickly forgets about Liam’s rude gesture and follows the rest of the group.

The inside of the center is white— white walls, white tiles on the floor and general minimalism in furnishing. But when they pass big, metal door that separates reception and waiting room from the rest of the building, everything looks much warmer. The walls of the long, wide corridor are white, yeah, but Louis sees a lot of paintings and the floor is made of brown, polished wood. There’re also a lot of doors and Louis looks around curiously, trying to find out what is behind them. But every single one of them is closed.

Short, sweet nurse shows them rooms where therapy takes place — a huge living room with bunch of teenagers watching TV and playing cards. Then they go to see canteen. Wherever Louis looks, he sees a single person, maundering close to the walls, and he’s very angry that he can’t take a good look at them. He knows it’s not polite to stare at people, but he just can’t stop his curiosity. It’s not like he saw a drug addict before. Sue him.

When the trip is over, the nurse leads them back to the huge living room, and now there is more people than before, and Louis’ heart starts to beat faster. Liam squeezes his hands like he wants to hearten himself and Louis squeezes back, smiling at his friend.

The air starts to be a little tense when everybody look at each other, wondering who’s going to begin conversation with one of the patients. After what feels like hours, Louis sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes to Sarah, as he starts to push out to the middle of the room. It apparently does the trick because people starts moving and talking all at once.

The boy Louis is approaching, is leaning against the wall with his head hung low and hood on it. His legs are pressed against his chest and his fists are clenched.

Louis stands quietly in front of him, but when the boy doesn’t acknowledge his presence, he just crouches next to him and hesitantly touches his arm. The reaction is immediate, the guy looks up at him and Louis sucks a breath, because– Jesus. The most beautiful pair of green eyes is just staring at him and he doesn’t know what to do. Their owner is for sure younger than Louis (maybe one or two years) and unhealthily pale. His cheeks are sunken and he has dark circles under his eyes. His lips are chapped and bitten to the point of bleeding and from under his hood can be seen brown, matt hair. And Louis really doesn’t want to be a drama queen, but he has a feeling that the guy’s green eyes are the only thing that isn’t dead in this boy.

Louis brushes away his fringe and frowns, when suddenly the boy’s eyes widens comically and then– he sneezes really loud and really wetly. Some of his spit lands on Louis cheek and the guy rubs his nose, before he mumbles huskily, “Oops.”

Louis laughs, can’t stop it, and changes his position, so now he’s sitting crosslegged.

“Hi,” he says, rubbing his thighs. They stare at each other for a moment, before he adds, “Bless you.”

The boy blinks at him, tilting his head to the side.

“Thanks,” he replies and Louis is really impressed by the deepness of his voice. “Um– are you new?”

“No,” Louis denies quickly. “I’m here with my class.”

All he gets in response is a nod and then they’re sitting in silence once again. The boy starts playing with his fingers and Louis only now notices that his hands are shaking horribly. They’re pale and big, with bulging veins.

”I’m Louis,” he says finally, because something in this kid intrigues him. “And you? What’s your name?”

”Harry,” Husky voice replies a few seconds later, but it’s owner doesn’t lift his eyes.

They’re quiet again and Louis sighs tiredly.

“Okay, I’m going to be honest with you,” he starts, “I need you to talk with me about your, umm, about your addiction. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to, of course, and I’ll try to find someone else willing to share their experiences with me, but you seem really intriguing and I’d like to know you better. So– Are you going to help me?”

Green eyes looks up at him and Louis licks his lips nervously.

“I’m intriguing you?” Harry asks shyly, digging his fingers into his thighs.

Louis nods enthusiastically.

“You seem interesting and nice, so I think conversation with you would be something entirely new.”

“Okay,” Harry says simply, shrugging his arms.

“If I ask you something too personal, just tell me to fuck off, yeah?”

He gets nod in response and sighs quietly, wondering where to start.

“How old are you?” he comes up with.

“I’m sixteen,” Harry mumbles and his knuckles whitens, when he clenches them on his calves.

“How long are you here?”

“Three months,” the boys says, tiredness clear in his voice.

Then Louis starts asking him trivial questions like where is he from, if he has siblings, his last name or his favourite band. He talks a little about himself, trying to fill the silence that comes from Harry. The younger boy replies mostly in single words, but he doesn’t seem to be annoyed, just intimidated. And Louis really doesn’t want to sound like a jerk with big ego, but he sees the way Harry’s sometimes looking at his lips and body, from time to time shaking his head like he wants to clear his head.

Louis hates himself, because he likes to think he’s fearless and brave, but he can’t muster himself to ask Harry about his addiction. He knows it’s a hard topic and, Christ, he knows shit about this boy, but the thought of making him uncomfortable twists his insides.

He almost jumps, when he hears Mr. Higgins.

“Kids, we need to go!”

Louis looks at Harry, who’s biting his bottom lip and pushing hands between his thighs.

“I have to go,” Louis says finally, seeing his classmates walking out of the room.

He stands up and flicks his pants, looking with surprise at Harry, when the boy blurts out, “You have blue eyes.”

He nods, smiling a little.

“Yeah,” he confirms softly.

The blush appears on Harry’s cheeks, making him look healthier and Louis decides it’s a good look on him.

“Will you come back?” Harry asks huskily, blinking slowly and licking his chapped lips.

“Yeah,” he says again, because he has a week to visit this facility and he’s going to take advantage of that.

“Promise?” Harry whispers and his green eyes hypnotizes Louis.

“Promise,” Louis answers quietly, before he sends him one last smile and heads out in Liam’s direction.

The next day Louis can’t sit still, he’s too excited about the prospect of seeing Harry again. He doesn’t know what exactly, but there’s something intriguing and mysterious about this boy. Harry is the exact opposite of him: quiet, calm and shy, when Louis is loud, loves attention and can’t sit too long on his own.

“Payno, move, move,” Louis sing songs to Liam, when the bus arrives on their stop.

“Oi, why the hurry?” Liam asks, writing something on his phone and creepily smiling.

“Don’t try me, Payno, I’ll leave you here alone if you don’t move your ass,” Louis threatens.

“Oh, no,” Liam gasps, clutching his heart. “Don’t do it, I won’t find the way home without you. I’m gonna be lost forever.”

“Jerk,” Louis says, rolling his eyes.

He nudges Liam, rising his eyebrows and his friend makes a gesture of surrender, because Liam knows that he doesn’t have a chance to win with Louis.

When they enter the building, bodyguard approaches them immediately.

“How can I help you, guys?”

“Um– Our school has agreement with this center?” Liam murmurs hesitantly.

“Your names?” the guard asks, leading them to reception.

“Tomlinson and Payne,” Louis answers.

After the guy checks them on list, he takes them to a small room, where they have to take their clothes off, to see if they don’t have drugs. Ten minutes later they’re finally free to go and talk with the patients. They go straight to the big living room where Louis knows, they’ll find most of the kids.

“See you in two hours,” he says to Liam, who smiles at him, before he heads off to dark-haired boy sitting on an armchair.

Louis looks around the room and he isn’t really surprised, when he spots Harry in the same place as yesterday (sitting quietly against the wall). The only difference is in his look, today he doesn’t have a hood and, Jesus Christ, he has curly hair.

“Hi,” Louis greets, sitting next to him.

Harry’s head lifts up so quickly, Louis can hear his bones protesting.

“You came,” the boy says in awe.

“I promised you, didn’t I?” Louis smiles widely. “Did you miss me?”

Harry blushes prettily and something in Louis chest starts to warm up. The boy is really beautiful – Louis can imagine how he looked like without dark circles under his eyes and with healthy colors on his face. Now he’s destroyed by drugs, but he’ll be better. He has to be.

“I like talking to you,” Harry confesses, surprising him.

“I’m glad,” Louis says brightly. “I like talking to you as well. So, how did you spent the rest of your day?”

“I had therapy, then I ate dinner and went to sleep,” Harry informs him dully, like he’s sick of spending his days in the exact same way.

“How often do you have therapy?” Louis asks hesitantly.

Harry’s hands are trembling again and the boy tries to stop it by clenching them into tight fists (it doesn’t work too well).

“In the mornings and afternoons,” Harry mumbles. “We have normal classes too, English, Math or Biology, but they don’t really do us any good. No one can focus on the lessons, so I think it’s only to keep us busy one way or another.”

“Oh,” Louis whispers. “What’s the– What’s the worst thing about being here?”

And that’s really stupid question, because the answer is for sure “the lack of drugs” and Louis curses himself in his mind, when Harry’s raspy voice attracts his attention.

“Homesickness,” Harry replies. “I miss my mum, my sister and my stepfather. My cat, Dusty, too.”

Louis smiles a little, fixing his fringe.

“Why did you end up here?” he asks finally, because he’s really curious and he doubts, he’s going to find a perfect occasion for this, anyway.

Harry is quiet for a long moment, pressing his lips together into tight line. Louis decides it’s best to give him some time to answer and starts looking around. Almost every armchair and sofas are occupied, a match is on TV, in one of the corners Louis sees two guys playing chess. They are both thin and their faces are emotionless and Louis quickly looks away. Only now he notices two male nurses standing on the left of the door and he’s surprised he didn’t see them earlier. Well, apparently he was too busy talking to Harry.

“Cocaine,” Harry says finally. “I’m addicted to cocaine.”

Louis instantly focuses on him, fidgeting a little.

“You’re only sixteen,” he starts hesitantly, because it seems crazy to him to be addicted to something else than chocolate, phone and TV at such a young age. “You had– How old were you, when you started taking drugs?”

“I started after people in my school found out I’m gay,” Harry says quietly, not meeting his eyes. His head is hung low, like he doesn’t want Louis to look at his face. And if earlier only Harry’s hand were shaking, now it’s his whole body. “It was right after my fifteenth birthday.”

“Oh,” Louis gasps softly. He suspected Harry is gay, but hearing this from him, makes his stomach flip. He’s excited and doesn’t really know why. He has a strange feeling, Harry is expecting rejection from him, if his clenched fists and avoidance of eye contact are something to come by. “I’m sorry it happened to you. How bad it was?”

Harry shyly looks up at him and his brown curls tempt Louis to touch them.

“Pretty bad. Daily insults, pushing and general hell,” Harry replies huskily. “I hated school, my marks lowered dramatically and I couldn’t cope with it all– I didn’t have any friends in my year, so I was spending a lot of time with my older sister and her friends. One of them was a drug dealer and he gave me cocaine after– after I came back from school, crying. He said everything’s going to be better, that drugs gonna help me.”

Harry’s eyes start shining feverishly and he is swallowing violently – Louis fidgets nervously, noticing that even the mention of the drug makes Harry want. As if everything “good” is coming back to him. Louis can’t even imagine how people cope with this feeling, with the drug withdrawal. And because he doesn’t have a single clue how to comment on it, he just blurts out, “People in your school are idiots. When I– When I told everyone I’m gay, I only heard a few nasty comments and then my classmates got over it. I’m not gonna lie, people still can be really mean, but I just brush it off.”

“You are gay?” Harry whispers like he doesn’t believe it.

“Mmm,” Louis hums, smiling soothingly. “Can’t you see?”

Laughing, he points at his red pants and striped shirt, then he hangs his wrist in the air. When Harry chuckles lightly, heat practically explodes in his body. The boy doesn’t look so tired of living and damaged by drugs right now, he’s a right vision.

“Okay,” he giggles. Fucking giggles. “Consider me convinced.”

Louis grins at him, changing the topic to movies about superheroes. Harry loves talking about things outside the rehab center, like it’s making him feel more normal.

For the rest of the week Louis visits Harry, spending with him two hours per day. He gets to know him more and more, devoting their time to conversations about the silliest things he can think of, instead of talking about Harry’s addiction. But he can’t make himself to reduce Harry to informer about drugs, he wants to treat this boy as any other person he’d meet outside the treatment center.

He also knows that Harry is extremely grateful for not having to talk about his problems. With everyday he opens more, laughs more often and keeps eye contact with Louis. Sometimes he even forgets about his shaking hands, putting them loosely on his lap, instead of clenching them into tight fists.

Their last meeting almost breaks Louis’ heart, because Harry looks even more sad than in the day they first met. He won’t smile and only gives monosyllabic answers.

“Hey,” Louis whispers gently, nudging his arm. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“You won’t come again,” Harry says in small voice, sniffling a little.

“If you want–” Louis starts, then swallows and tries again. “If you want, I can try to visit. It won’t be daily visits, but it’s something, right?”

The boy opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly his nose starts bleeding. Harry touches his face, probably feeling warm fluid flowing down to his upper lip.

“Harry!” Louis almost has a heart attack. “Do you need help? Should I call someone?”

Harry only sighs though, and reaches to his pocket to take a tissue.

“It’s okay,” he says and his voice sounds funny, cause now there’s a tissue in his nostrils. “It happens all the time.”

“How’s that?” Louis asks surprised.

“When you take cocaine through your nose, that’s exactly what you get after,” Harry explains calmly, exchanging tissues. “I’m used to this.”
„Oh,” Louis mutters, fidgeting. “So as I was saying, if you want, I can still visit you.”

“You’d really do that?” Harry asks, his voice full of hope.

“Sure,” Louis ensures him. “If you want me to.”

Harry smiles at him so brightly, Louis has suddenly problems with breathing.

“Of course, always,” Harry replies, still beaming at him.

One week later, after Louis spends almost every minute of his free time on wondering what’s happening with Harry and how’s the boy doing, there’s finally Sunday – the visit day. He doesn’t have a single clue, if they’ll let him see Harry, but he’s going to try anyway. True be told he’s not his family or even a family’s friend, and even they can visit once a week after the fifth month, so he doesn’t have a big chances.

Standing in front of the impressive building of the rehab center, Louis takes deep breath and fixes his fringe.

He enters the building smiling widely at the guard.

“Hi, Preston,” he says brightly.

“Louis,” the man greets him a little surprised. “What are you doing here? I thought you finished your project last week.”

“I did,” Louis confirms. “But I’m here to just visit Harry. It’s cool, right?”

Preston frowns.

“You’re not family, Louis,” he informs Louis. “I can’t let you in.”

“Oh,” Louis mutters, fidgeting. “Is there someone I can talk with? Maybe they’ll make an exception. Or maybe you can–”

“It’s not my decision,” Preston says apologetically. “But I suppose you can talk with Harry’s therapist.”

Louis nods frantically and begs Preston to call Harry’s therapist, so Louis can talk with her.

“So you’re Louis and I’m Barbra,” she says, while shaking his hand in greeting. Barbra looks like she’s in her fifties, her smile is warm and sincere.

“I heard about you a lot.”

“Oh?”

“Harry talks a lot,” the woman informs him. “Actually most of our last sessions were about you. And I really didn’t know what happened to Harry to worsen his mood, but then he confessed that you can’t visit him anymore, and everything started making sense.”

“What do you mean his mood worsened?” Louis asks, feeling nervous.

“He became lethargic and doesn’t want to spend time with anyone,” Barbra explains broadly. “You have a big impact on him, you know, Louis? You affected him in ways I couldn’t even dreamed of, and you’ve spend with him only one week.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yes. Harry became more open and talkative, his mood swings toned down a little as you’re his rope that keeps him on the surface,” the therapist says and her voice is full of thoughtfulness. “I know why you’re here, Louis, you want to see him, right?”

“Yeah,” Louis murmurs, trying to ignore his flushed cheeks. He doesn’t even know why he’s blushing.

“I shouldn’t do this,” Barbra starts. “But I can see your big influence on him, the way he benefits from spending time with you, and the good of the patient is the most important thing. That’s why I’m going to let you it. Firstly Preston needs to check you and then we’ll go, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis almost squeaks with excitement.

Ten minutes later he’s going down the hall with Barbra, his heart is biting fast against his ribcage.

“You can visit him once a week,” Barbra says. “I think it will give him a sense of stabilization and hope. He’s a good boy, who made bad decisions, but I’m sure he can finish this therapy and never go back to taking drugs if he surrounds himself with people like you.”

Louis nods earnestly.

“Harry’s in his room,” the woman informs him. “I’m warning you, his condition isn’t the best today. I hope you’ll able to help him, there isn’t much I can do for him. You have two hours. If something happens, come and get me.”

They stop in front of door with number seventy eight and Louis smiles at the therapist, showing her he understands. Barbra nods and heads off somewhere, Louis isn’t looking. Now he’s focused on the little fact that he’s going to see Harry after long week.

He takes a deep breath and knocks. When he doesn’t hear anything, a few seconds later he knocks a little lauder.

“Who’s there?” Harry calls. It’s clear he’s irritated and his voice is so thick, it’s almost hard to understand.

Without hesitation Louis opens the door and slides inside. Harry instantly sits on the bed, opening his mouth in surprise and Louis can’t help his big smile. But it doesn’t last long, because Harry looks awful. His curls are ruffled and stick to his sweaty forehead, his face is pale and his lips are bitten to blood. The boy is trembling all-over and he’s breathing really fast, like he can’t suck in enough air. His eyes are shining like he has a fever.

“Jesus, Harry,” Louis whispers, taking a few steps in to the room.

“Lou,” the boy gasps, reaching his shaking hand in his direction. “You came.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Louis says, having a sense of déjà vu. He doesn’t know why, but he feels like crying all of sudden. He can see how much Harry’s suffering and it’s breaking his heart. “What’s happening, love?”

He sits next to Harry and takes his sweaty hand.

The boy lays down on his side, like he wants to curl himself in a tight ball, but he’s smiling at Louis.

“It came back,” Harry rasps. “And it hurts so much, Lou, so much.”

“What came back, angel?” Louis asks gently, starting to pet his hair.

“I can’t stop thinking about cocaine,” Harry explains. “I can’t stop thinking how wonderful I felt after taking it. You can’t even imagine how good it makes you feel. Everything disappear, your problems and concerns, the world is a better place. Why won’t they let me to go back to it?”

“Harry,” Louis says quietly, he doesn’t know what else to say.

“My mum shouldn’t have locked me here,” Harry rambles, angry. “She should have left me alone. I was happy before and now I’m only hurting. I’m locked here and I’m suffering every single fucking day, nothing is helping–”

Louis sits more comfortable on the bed, still petting Harry’s head and holding his hand.

“Hey,” he murmurs softly. “It’s for your own good, you know it. Your mum loves you and she did it to protect you. You don’t need drugs to be happy.”

Hearing this, the boy sobs and Louis’ instincts tell him to cuddle him, so it’s exactly what he does. Harry instantly clings to him, wrapping around him like a koala – he presses his nose between Louis arm and neck, inhaling deeply. Now Louis can feel his body tremble and see how really awful it is. He swallows thickly, caressing Harry’s back and hoping it’s helping.

They’re lying like this for some time, but it seems Harry just can’t calm down. His body still convulses from time to time, his breathing is irregular and his forehead is even more sweaty than it was five minutes ago.

Suddenly Louis feels gentle kiss on the side of his neck and he stiffens. He doesn’t say anything, because it was maybe one time thing, but a few seconds later, he feels another one – a little wet and warm kiss.

“Harry?” he whispers.

“Make it go away,” Harry begs into his ear, pressing to him tighter. “Help me, Lou. Please.”

Then he kisses him again, right under his ear, and this time it lasts a little longer and it’s more sure. Louis’ grip tightens on Harry’s shirt, when Louis fights with himself. He knows he shouldn’t but he wants. Christ, he wants to kiss Harry so much. And he’s hoping it’s going to help the younger boy, that it’ll help him to forget about his cravings, that he’ll focus on something else than wanting drugs and he’ll be better.

“It’s a bad idea,” Louis says, but doesn’t protest, when he feels Harry’s tongue on his skin. “Harry– You know we shouldn’t.”

“Please, Lou,” Harry whispers hotly and desperately. “Please.”

And that’s it. Louis groans quietly and rolls them over, so he’s hovering over Harry, supporting himself with his arm. The boy looks him in the eye, before he pulls him into kiss. His lips are chapped and wet, they’re softly brushing Louis’. Louis hums, closing his eyes and slides his tongue into Harry’s mouth. Harry tastes like a lemon and something sweet, like he’d eat a candy, and Louis can’t really help the fact that he presses their lips harder. It makes Harry whimper, when the boy tightens his grip on Louis back, wriggling beneath him.

They’re kissing for a few minutes – hot and dirty – and Louis starts getting hard. He knows he can’t push it further, but he still feels Harry’s shaking body and his sweaty skin. So he breaths out through his nose and focuses on calming Harry. He slows the kiss, so now they’re kissing lazily and starts caressing Harry’s cheek.

He doesn’t have any idea how much time they spend on making out, but the boy stops pressing to him desperately, stops scratching his back and wriggling.

Louis moves away, when he starts having problems with breathing and his mouth starts to hurt from crushing them with Harry’s chapped and bitten lips. He lies down next to the younger boy, supporting his weight on his right arm, and smiles softly.

“Better?” he asks, his voice much deeper than normal.

Harry’s green eyes stopped looking so feverishly and now they’re fogged, and Louis can’t help but feel proud. He did it to him.

“Yeah,” Harry whispers. “Thank you.”

Louis leans down to kiss his nose and then fondly brushes wet fringe from Harry’s forehead. He touches the dark circles under Harry’s eyes and smiles sadly. The only good thing is that now Harry isn’t so pale.

“What was happening with you?” he asks hesitantly.

The boy closes his eyes and exhales slowly.

“I had craving,” Harry explains. “I craved cocaine. It happens sometimes. You know, every single memory comes back to you, telling you how wonderful you felt after taking the drug and how bad you feel now. It’s irresistible want to take a cocaine, at least for me it feels like it, and probably if I wasn’t here, I’d try to find some.”

“Then I’m glad you’re here,” Louis whispers, pulling Harry into another hug and lying them comfortably on the mattress.

They don’t talk, they just lay there, enjoying themselves.

For the next few weeks Louis regularly visits Harry in the centre, spending with him two hours every Sunday. Louis’ mum tells him she’s really proud of him and Harry’s therapist is delighted. Barbra constantly repeats it’s a phenomenon, in her whole career she didn’t have a patient who’d work so hard to became better.

Louis doesn’t have any idea why he starts feeling something more to Harry, because they really don’t have a lot of time to get to know each other, but it’s happening and Louis can’t stop it. The boy seems to be prettier, funnier and more adorable every single time Louis visits him. It makes Louis want to hug him and to protect him from everything bad in the world. He has never thought it’s possible to fall in love so fast and so hard.

“Hey, Lou,” Harry whispers, when they’re lying next to each other; out of breath and flushed after snogging.

Louis never lets it become something more than kissing and maybe a little bit of grinding. Harry is still lost and broken, and Louis would feel like taking advantage of him, if they did something more. Harry is not in the right state of mind to make such an important decision like having sex with other person.

“Mm?” Louis asks, petting Harry’s head.

“I’m leaving this place in four months, what’s going to happen then?”

“You’ve a lot of time to think about it, love,” Louis laughs. But when Harry frowns, he knows it’s something important for the boy. So he sits crosslegged and catches Harry’s hands with his own. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed.”

Harry smiles hesitantly at him and Louis feels pride whenever he looks at him. Harry’s skin looks a lot more healthy now and he doesn’t have such a big circles under his eyes. His hands are still shaking but it isn’t so bad now as it was at the beginning of their friendship. Harry still have cravings for cocaine and he tries to deal with them on his own as best as he can, when Louis isn’t around, but it’s all better now. And well, therapy is working as well.

“ Just–” Harry sighs and presses his lips together, before he starts again. “I’m just wondering what will happen, when I leave this place?”

Louis tilts his head to the side.

“We’re going to stay in touch,” he says, because it’s obvious. “You’re my pretty boy, baby, you surely didn’t think I’ll let you go into the big world without me?”

Harry’s face lightens up with smile.

“You promise?” he asks seriously, hope clear in his voice. “Because I don’t think I’m going to make it alone.”

“You’re strong, love, of course you’d make it without me,” Louis reassures him, gently touching his face. “But you don’t have to, I’m not going anywhere. And this is a promise. You won’t get rid of me so easily.

And Louis knows they’re young, that it’s too early for such promises, but he thinks he has never believed in something so hard, like he believes in those words.

Chapter Text

Louis puts the last box on the floor and moans with relief, stretching his muscles. He spent the day carrying boxes from car to his new flat and he can’t believe it’s finally the end of it. His back is killing him and bath is everything he can think of in this moment.

“I didn’t know we have so much shit,” Harry mumbles from behind him, leaning against the wall with his hands deep in pockets of his jeans.

“Most of this probably belong to Liam,” Louis says. “You know, his dummy, blanket he got from his favourite auntie-”

He laughs when Liam nudges him, frowning.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Liam scolds him. “We aren’t even living together yet and I’m already starting to regret this.”

Louis clutches his heart and gapes at him.

“Liam James Payne!” he screeches. “How dare you? After everything we have been through-„

He can’t finish because suddenly there’s a hand covering his mouth.

“Sorry, Li,” Harry says. “Louis forgot his medications today.”

Louis licks his hand because he can and because he’s a responsible adult who’s going to start Uni in a month.

Harry pulls a face at him, but his green eyes are shining and Louis can’t stop the fond that fills his body. His boyfriend left the rehab center three months ago and he’s doing great. He didn’t have any cravings yet, his hands stopped shaking and nosebleeds are really rare. The last one was two months ago and Louis is really fucking proud of his boy. He knows that renting a flat with his best friend and seventeen, former drug addict is crazy, but he couldn’t care less. The only thing that matters now, is Harry’s well-being.

Harry spent the whole summer talking to his mum so she’d let him come with Louis to Manchester and rent a flat together. He said he wants to change the environment and start somewhere where people don’t know about his problem with cocaine. Barbra supported him and told Harry’s mum it’s a good idea. She’s still shocked by Harry’s quick recovery.

So now they’re going to start a new life together and Louis is really fucking excited.

“Anyway, do what you want, but I’m going to sleep,” Liam says, pulling him out of thoughts.

“Same here,” Harry interjects, taking his hand from Louis’ mouth. “But bath sounds lovely, though.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Louis smiles at Harry.

Liam groans loudly, shaking his head.

“At least let me brush my teeth before you take over the bathroom,” he mumbles. “And be quiet, please.”

Louis flips him off, knowing really well what he’s friend is talking about, and winks at Harry, who blushes prettily. When Liam is out of earshot, Louis pulls Harry into a hug and kisses his warm cheek.

“Don’t listen to him,” he whispers. “We aren’t going to do anything-”

“I want to,” Harry cuts him off. “You know I want to. It’s just- I’ve waited for this since you started visiting me in the rehab center and now I’m just excited and nervous all at once.”

“Don’t be nervous,” Louis reassures him, pressing his thumb to his lower lip. “We won’t do anything you are not comfortable with.”

Harry nods and kisses his finger, before he takes a step away and picks up a box where they’ve towels and toiletries.

A few minutes later their bed is ready and when Liam screams that the bathroom is free, Louis can’t stop his excitement.

He quickly takes off his clothes and gets into the tub, looking at Harry who puts their things into cupboard. When everything is set, the boy smiles at Louis and starts to strip. There’s a lot of things you can tell about Harry, but shame of nakedness isn’t one of it. If Harry could, he’d spend his whole life naked. And it’s not like they did something sexual that required to be naked, because they always stopped when things started getting too hot, but Louis saw Harry without clothes a few times already.

Harry gets into the tub and hums with pleasure, when he feels hot water and aromatic foam. He sits down with his back pressed to Louis’ chest, his head on Louis arm – the tub is pretty small but Louis doesn’t really care.

They lie there in silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the hot water. Everything changes when Harry starts fidgeting, pressing to Louis even harder.

“What’s up?” Louis whispers, his hot breath ghosting over Harry’s neck.

The boy’s head tilts to the side, making it easier for Louis to kiss his neck if he wants to and he can’t help but smile.

“Nothing,” Harry says huskily, playing with the foam.

Louis rolls his eyes, because it’s an obvious lie, but instead of saying something, he just puts his hands on Harry’s body. The younger boy stills for a moment, before he starts catching the foam again. Louis leans and presses a small kiss to the back of Harry’s neck, and at the same time gently pinches his nipples.

Harry moans softly, pressing their bodies even tighter, like he wants to rub against Louis and Louis starts sucking the skin on his throat. He rolls Harry’s nipples between his fingers, while he smoothes the red marks on his throat with his tongue. They didn’t even do anything and he’s getting hard already. Louis changes position so his dick’s pressing now to Harry’s back, making the younger boy gasp.

“Lou,” Harry whispers.

In response Louis bites his neck and slides his hand lower, touching his bellybutton and then his penis. Without hesitation he takes Harry’s cock in his hand, enjoying the weight and hardness of it. Harry fidgets, breathing through his nose, and Louis starts sucking on his ear. He focuses on it for a few moments, just holding Harry in his hand, but the boy is impatient, starts moving his hips and fucking himself in Louis’ fist.

Louis takes pity on him and begins to jack him off, using his free hand to pinch Harry’s left nipple. The boy whimpers loudly and Louis can’t stop himself from rubbing his dick against Harry’s back. He’s fully hard now and he knows it’ll only take them a few minutes to come, and that will be the end of their night. And that won’t do because he has different plans. He has waited almost year to have sex with Harry and he’ll go nuts if they don’t do something tonight. Sometimes he has wet dreams about his boyfriend which is embarrassing since he’s nineteen years old and it should have passed a long time ago.

That’s why he rubs the tip of Harry’s dick with his thumb and gently kisses his neck, before he takes his hand away.

“What- what?” Harry gasps, looking at him with his big, green eyes.

“We’re taking it to the bedroom,” Louis informs him.“Unless you want to stay here? I can jack you off in the water and-”

Harry blinks at him lazily, like his mind is a little fogged.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to do anything else,” Louis reassures him, pecking his lips. “I’ll finish you off and we’ll go to sleep.”

“No,” Harry says, shaking his head for emphasis. “Come on, I want to be on the bed.”

“At least wash yourself,” Louis laughs. “You know, since we’re already in the water. Just sitting in it won’t do you any good.”

The boy sticks his tongue at him, before he starts rubbing his body with sponge. Louis rolls his eyes and do the same, getting rid of sweat and dirt.

When they’re both clean and dry, Harry takes his hand and almost drags him to the bedroom, where he pushes Louis on the mattress and straddles him. Straddles him naked and starts kissing him, so when Louis slides his hands in the small of his back, he has shivers, because his boyfriend’s skin is warm and still slightly wet. He can’t help it and slides his hands even lower, touching his arse. He squeezes his bum, making Harry moan straight into his mouth. Louis breaths out through his nose and kisses Harry harder, feeling like everything around them is spinning.

He tries to control himself and let Harry lead, but when the boy starts rubbing their dicks and occasionally whimpering, he puts his hands on Harry’s hips and switches their positions.

Without hesitation Harry wraps his legs around him, pressing them together harder, and Louis bites his bottom lip, before he moves his head away.

“Move deeper on the bed,” he says.

When the younger boy obeys, Louis reaches for lube and condom.

“Are you sure?” He asks quietly.

“Mm,” Harry hums, looking at Louis’ dick with hungry eyes. He licks his lips, before he adds. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Louis smiles softly, coating his fingers with lube and gently touches Harry’s thigh. Harry makes more room for him between his legs, looking at him from under his eyelashes. Louis suddenly feels hot and needs a few seconds to calm himself down.

Harry looks absolutely obscene – flushed, with hard, leaking cock and bitten, red lips. Jesus.

Louis surely touches his hole, smearing gel all over it. Harry moans, closing his eyelids and tilting his head. When Louis enters him slowly, the boy tighten his eyelids and frowns slightly like he’s trying to focus.

“If you need to me stop, just say something,” Louis says, because he wants to be one hundred percent sure that Harry knows that they don’t have to do anything tonight.

The younger boy only nods, doesn’t even open his eyes, and relaxes on the mattress, letting Louis put his whole finger in him. Harry is tight and hot, wrapping around Louis like a glove and he doesn’t even want to think about putting his dick in Harry, because he’ll come just from the image in his head.

Firstly he just makes small motions with his finger, giving Harry the time to adjust, before he starts fucking him slowly and hesitantly. When he feels that Harry’s muscles are relaxed, he adds second finger, making the younger boy groan and clutch the bedsheets. And Jesus fucking Christ, Louis is so focused on him, he doesn’t even think about his own hard dick.

He tries to be as gentle as possible, but Harry’s moans and little whimpers, and throws of hips don’t really help. He doesn’t even know when he starts fucking Harry with his fingers faster and harder, scissoring them from time to time and frantically kissing his thighs.

“Lou, Lou,” Harry whines, his face shines with sweat. “So good-”

“Yeah?” Louis asks, biting his milky thigh. “You like it when I fuck you with my fingers, baby?”

And that would be all when it comes to being romantic and gentle. Harry moans like he wants the neighbors to hear and Louis can’t help it, he pushes his fingers as deep as he can and starts vibrating them, while pressing his knuckles to Harry’s prostate.

It seems to be too much, because Harry tightens up around him, his hips lift from mattress and sperm spurts from his cock. Louis watches him in awe, still rubbing his prostate, and squeezing his own dick to stop himself from coming.

“Oh, God,” Harry mumbles shakily, throwing his head on the pillow. “Fuck, Lou-”

“It’s so hot, love,” Louis whispers hoarsely, sliding his fingers out Harry’s arsehole. “I can’t believe you came just from this.”

Harry’s trembling slightly, his breathing is shallow and fast, but his lips stretches in a lazy smile. And Louis doesn’t really know why, but he leans down and starts licking the sperm from Harry’s abdomen. He knows his boy is clean, so he doesn’t really see any contraindications. And sure, jizz isn’t really the best flavour in the world, but there’s something hot about licking it from his boyfriend, who looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. And when his penis hardens a little, Louis licks it as well and then sucks the head into his mouth, looking Harry straight in the eyes.

The younger boy cries, pulling at his hair like he wants to push him off and make him gag on his dick at the same time. Louis hums around him, enjoying every little sound Harry makes.

It doesn’t take long for Harry to be hard again, he really is responsive. Louis takes the condom and rolls it on himself, hissing in pleasure when he touches his dick for the first time tonight. He’s so fucking turned on that he can’t think straight.

“You’re going to kill me,” Harry gasps.

“Complaining already?” Louis rises one brow, smearing lube all over his dick.

“Do I look like someone who’s complaining?” The boy laughs, brushing hair away from his forehead.

Louis smiles at him softly, putting his dick against Harry’s entrance and looks him in the eyes to find any signs of doubt. He doesn’t find anything, sohe slowly pushes into Harry, not breaking their eye contact. Harry’s lips form perfect „o” and his pupils dilate, taking over the green color.

Harry is so tight, Louis has to clench his teeth so he won’t come in this exact moment. He doesn’t have much experience and the only time he had sex was almost year ago, so he doubts he’s going to last long. But looking at the way Harry’s dick jumps pathetically, the boy isn’t going to last either.

When Louis balls touch Harry’s ass, he leans over Harry and kisses him, wetly and hotly. He wants to give him time to adjust and to distract himself. The kiss makes them relaxed and calmer, Louis mind stops screaming at him “move, move, move”.

“You can move now,” Harry whispers, looking him in the eyes.

Louis nods and thrusts his hips experimentally, moaning loudly when he feels friction on his cock. Fuck, Harry is so tight and hot, Louis automatically focuses only on the sensation of being inside him. Louis mind is a mess, his every thought screams at him to move faster and harder. But he restrains, because he doesn’t want to hurt Harry, he wants to make it good for him. That’s why he thrust slowly and gently, caressing his flushed cheek.

Harry constantly whimpers softly, scratching his back and sucking marks on Louis’ neck, biting the sensitive skin. And everything is sweet and slow, until he starts pressing his heels into the small of Louis’ back, pushing Louis deeper into him and Louis just loses it. Clenching his teeth he starts thrusting his hips, fucking Harry harder and faster.

“You like it, baby?” He gasps, reaching to Harry’s nipple and twisting it between his fingers. “Do you like it when I fuck you?”

The boy fidgets underneath him, pushing his hand between them and wraps hand around his cock.

“Yes, Lou,” he groans, tilting his hand and frowning in concentration. “I- I can’t- I need to-”

“That’s okay,” Louis informs him, wiping his sweaty forehead. “You can come, kitten. I want to feel how you tighten up around my dick-”

The next thing he knows is Harry’s hole clenching around him, when the boy screams, coming on his belly. And this is so unexpected that Louis needs only two more thrust to shoot his load deep into Harry.

The world stops for a minute and everything that counts is anoverwhelming pleasure and the way Harry’s hole is pulsing around him like it wants to milk every single drop of his come.

Harry mumbles something under his nose, petting his sweaty back and trying to catch his breath.

After what seems like eternity, Louis slides out of Harry and takes off the condom, putting it carefully on the floor. Then he lays down on the mattress next to his boy and hugs him, kissing his cheek. They just lay there, relaxing and looking at each other, before Harry starts quietly giggling.

“Mmm?” Louis hums, rubbing his soft skin with his thumb.

“I think Liam’s going to need a therapy after this,” Harry explains, still laughing. “I doubt he slept through this. We were quite loud.”

“You were,” Louis corrects him with smirk. “And well, he knew it’s going to be like this. Or we’ll buy him a new cap to his collection and he’ll forgive us.”

Harry giggles happily and then yawns, tired all of sudden. Louis smiles at him and kisses his temple, before he jumps off the bed and goes to the bathroom to take a flannel. He wets it with warm water and comes back to the bedroom, where he cleans Harry up. His boyfriend looks at him gratefully, making him more room on the bed and Louis quickly turns off the light. When his under the cover, he spoons Harry from behind, breathing in his amazing smell and burying his nose in his curls.

He can’t believe today is not only the first time they had sex, but they’re also going to sleep together.

“I’m glad we’ve waited,” Harry whispers quietly.

“Me too, kitten,” Louis answers, kissing the back of his head. “And I’m really proud of you, did I already tell you this?”

“Yeah, a few times,” Harry says shyly. “But remind me more often, okay? It helps a lot.”

“Always,” Louis promises him, closing his eyes. “I will always remind you about it, love.”