Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You’re so fascinated with those scars.” Ezra said. He was lying in the makeshift bed they had made on the floor of Ahsoka’s ship. Sabine’s fingers were tracing back and forth over his cheek.

“Just remembering.” She said, her fingers pausing as she leaned down to kiss him. “When you got these. How you wouldn’t sit still for long enough for anyone to tend to them.”

“There was a lot going on!” Ezra said with mock indignation. “Meeting Ahsoka, finding out we were part of an actual rebellion, debriefing everyone on what happened on the star destroyer. It was a lot!”

Sabine smiled, her fingers returning to their previous position. “I know. You know, I think that was one of the first times I got to see the real Ezra Bridger. The one under all the false bravado you had back then.”

“Yeah?” Ezra said, reaching his hand up to meet hers, cupping it against his cheek. “I think that was when I started to actually fall in love with you.”

“Hey, sit still will you?” Sabine snapped as Ezra tried to wiggle out of her reach again. “I can't put bacta on them if you don’t stop moving.”

They were in the Ghosts galley, exiled there by Hera with the reasoning that that needed treating. She had pointed at Ezra’s cheek, and given Sabine’s shoulder a quick squeeze before locking them out of the New Republic ship.

“It doesn’t matter, it's fine.” Ezra made another break for the door and Sabine grabbed his wrist. As worked up as he was about what the adults were discussing he didn’t notice she was touching him. “Come on, they’re talking about things out there. Interesting things. Rebellion things. Don’t you want to know what they’re talking about?”

“Hera kicked us out.” Sabine pointed out. 

“So?”

“So do you want to be on Hera’s bad side?”

“She has a good side?” 

“Ezra!” She snapped. “Look if we don't get Bacta on you soon they’ll scar, and scar bad. Do you want that?”

He went quiet for a second and sat on the bench. “They’ll scar anyway.”

“What?” Sabine looked up from the med kit she was unpacking

“They’re lightsaber wounds.” He explained. “And light-”

“Saber wounds don't heal right.” She finished for him. Sabine didn’t know much about being a Jedi, but she did know their weapons from the stories of her childhood. Stories from when her people fought his. Some Mandalorians who were stabbed or injured, and they took months to heal, or felt like they were burning for years afterwards. “Let me get a better look at it okay?”

He nodded and pushed his hair back to allow her better access to his cheek. Now that she was looking at it properly she could see where skin and flesh had been burned away leaving charred edges and seeping blisters. And in the center of the top one she swore she saw the white of bone. Another inch higher and it would have been his eye. He must be running on pure adrenaline not to be screaming in pain.

“Are they bad?” Ezra asked like he was reading her thoughts

Sabine tried not to let how bad they really were show on her face. “As bad as can be expected from a lightsaber.”

He nodded and let her continue her inspection. When she prodded the skin next to the wounds with a latex gloved finger he hissed in pain and drew away from her. Flesh that has been cauterised cracked open and blood welled up in the cut.

“That hurts.” He pointed out, grabbing her wrist before she could touch it again.

“Did it hurt before that?”

He shook his head and the blood began to trickle down his cheek. “Not really, but there was a lot going on. I've been ignoring it.”

Sabine nodded and grabbed a piece of gauze, gently pressing it against the wounds. “Hold that for me.”

He complied and watched as she started pulling the supplies she was going to need.

“Are you okay if I stitch this? The top one needs it.”

He cocked his head slightly. “You can stitch a wound?”

“I learned because my brother is rather shit with a vibroknife.” Sabine said as she undid a suture pack. “And bacta wasn’t always available. So I learned. Do you want pain killers before or after?”

“Will they help with what you’re about to do?”

“Not really but they’ll kick in sooner if you take them now. They’ll also make you tired so you probably won’t want go spy on the conversation.” She said. “So, swings and roundabouts.”

He thought for a second. “Now please.”

Sabine grabbed a glass of water and handed it to him, along with several brightly coloured pills.

“These are . . .?” he looked at them skeptically

“Nothing uncommon or unsafe, just things that work well together.” She gave a small smile. “Speaking from experience.”

“More mandalorian stuff?”

“Girl stuff.” She replied. 

“Right.” He paused for a second before downing the pills. “Thank you.”

“For what?” 

“Looking after me.” Maybe it was the pain causing  it, but Sabine saw tears welling up in his eyes. “It’s been a long time since I had anyone to do that.”

Hearing Ezra's voice crack over those last words made Sabine’s heart ache. She knew he was an orphan, that he had been alone before the crew picked him up. But with those words it sunk in for her just how isolated he had been. He looked smaller than he had a few moments ago slumped into the bench, and she was struck by how young he was, how young they both were, and thrust into the middle of the war. In another time they might have been enemies, or they might have both known peace and that thought made her want to cry.

“It’s okay,” Sabine tried to sound reassuring. “The crew is family, you’ll always have someone to look after you.”

Ezra nodded and let Sabine peel the gauze away from his cheek, wincing as it pulled as the edges of his wounds. Gently she started washing the wound out and removing the charred flesh that wouldn’t heal, softly telling him what she was doing the whole time. For his part he sat in silence and tried not to flinch as she did it.

“He was going to kill Kanan.” Ezra said suddenly when she turned to grab the suture kit from the the table next to them.

“What?”

“The Inquisitor. He and Kanan were fighting. I tried to help because I-I couldn’t watch him die.” Ezra choked out, clearly fighting back tears. “That’s how I got hurt. Those drugs won't make me sleep will they?”

“Not if you don't want to sleep. Why”

“All I can see when I close my eyes is that lightsaber coming at me. I’m scared that that's all I'm going to dream about.” He admitted as tears began to spill over.

Watching him like that Sabine wanted to wrap him in a hug, to whisper to him that it was all going to be okay, that he wouldn’t have nightmares about what happened. That he and Kanan had killed the inquisitor and now they were safe, that the empire wasn’t going to keep coming after them.

But Sabine wasn’t a liar, not to her family. This one at least.

Instead she asked if she could start stitching. When he nodded yes she began, again narrating every move, not wanting to scare him any more than he was. Ignoring the tears unless she had to wipe them away.

By the time she was finished she could see the exhaustion starting to seep into him, and when she pulled away to grab a bacta patch he yawned, ignoring how it pulled at his wounds.

“There, all done.” She said as she smoothed the patch over the gashes. Ideally she would have put another dressing over it to prevent him from knocking it while it healed, but wit the location it wasn't feasible

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he pushed himself up off the bench and shuffled towards the room he shared with Zeb. Zeb would understand when he woke up in the middle of the night screaming. But would Ezra be? Would he be okay showing that vulnerability to Zeb?

“Hey Ezra?”

He turned back to face her. “Yeah?”

“You did well, it’s going to be okay.”

“Thanks.”

The next bit was harder. “If you want you can sleep in my room, I’ll keep you company and we can have snacks.” She said the words as fast as she could. 

For a moment he looked at her like she had lost her head, then smiled weakly. “Yeah. That would be nice.