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Chapter Text

The beam of blinding white light slammed into Jim, knocking him off his feet. He crashed to the ground and disappeared from view behind a rather large rock formation. Spock felt his unacknowledged T'hy'la bond twinge and dashed over to him. He got there just as Jim stood to his feet.

Only it was not his Jim. The man he knew and secretly loved was gone. Instead, a small blonde boy stood there, practically swimming in Jim's command gold uniform shirt. His sky blue eyes looked up at Spock, confusion evident. He was maybe 4.

It was Jim. Spock knew it as he knew himself. He would know his T'hy'la anywhere. The eyes were the same shape and color. The hair was the same golden hue. The facial structure was the same, only younger. The jawline and cheekbones were more masked by baby fat. But it was still him. Spock's chest filled with horror. How had this happened?!

"Where am I?" Young Jim asked in a small, halting voice, glancing around himself frantically. He scrunched down in an attempt to make himself smaller. "Did momma send me away again?"

Another beam of the same white light shot past them barely missing Spock. Spock quickly gathered the small boy into his arms and darted away. This was obviously not a safe place for a child.

Once he was sure they were out of range of the weapon? Or whatever that thing was, Spock called for beam out. The rest of the away team would have to handle the problem on their own. Spock needed to get the young captain out of there and to safety immediately. For while adult Jim had signed up to risk life and limb on this misson, this child had done no such thing, nor could he, and must be kept out of harms way.

The request was immediately granted, and they materialized on board Enterprise, young Jim desperately clutching Spocks neck. He looked around the transporter room with wide eyes.

"I really messed up this time, didn't I?" He whispered solemnly, then in a tiny voice whimpered, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to cause problems again."

Spocks blood ran cold at hearing his beloveds younger self's words. He didn't want to consider what would cause a child to talk like this.

The doors slid open, and Dr, McCoy stormed in, ranting. "What damn fool thing did you do now, Jim?! I swear to -"

The child in Spocks arms physically flinched away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He cried out, tears filling his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. "I promise I'll be good! I promise! I'm sorry!"

McCoy stopped short, horrified. "Jim?" He asked, looking at the small boy. Spock nodded.

"Hey. Hey.. You're ok.... No one's mad at you." McCoy held his hands up placatingly. "I'm mad at our ship's captain. He likes to do dumb things. His name is Jim. Not at you. Is your name Jim too?"

Jim nodded haltingly. "I'm not in trouble?"

"No, kid. Not even a little bit." McCoy reassured him.

Jim slowly uncurled himself from Spock. Though from his hesitant expression, it was obvious that he was not doing it because he wanted to, but rather cause he felt it was expected of him.

McCoy sighed inwardly. This was not going to be easy. "Hey, kiddo." He said gently. "Why don't you and Mr. Spock here come along with me, and we'll get some ice cream? Does that sound fun?"

Jim shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, keeping his eyes downcast.

McCoy found this lack of a response concerning. However, he knew better than to make a big deal out of it. It wouldn't the kid feel more safe or trusting. It would only make him feel more afraid. So he just led the way to sick bay, making sure to swing by the mess hall on the way to grab some ice cream for Jim.

Thankfully, he knew Jim well enough that he didn't need to ask what flavor he wanted. It was very obvious from the child's demeanor that it would have been difficult to get an actual answer out of him. Jim always was partial to vanilla chocolate swirl. Adult Jim would wink suggestively at him each time he got some saying that he enjoyed more than just one flavor. McCoy made sure to douse it in sprinkles before continuing on his way.

Once at sick bay, he directed Spock to set Jim on a bed. The captain's gold shirt pooled around him on the bed. McCoy handed him the ice cream. Jim looked up at him for confirmation that he was allowed to have it. At McCoy's nod, he dug into it like he was afraid it would be taken from him at any moment.

Spock and McCoy watched this with growing concern. This was not how a happy, well adjusted child acted. It hightend their concern.

McCoy began running some scans of Jim while he inhaled his ice cream. He compared them with his most recent scans of adult Jim.

While he did so, Spock instructed one of the personnel to track down something for young Jim to wear. It was unfeasible for him to continue to wear the captain's shirt that fit him like a rather large dress. They were gone directly.

They returned shortly with a child sized outfit comprised of black pants, a starfleet t-shirt, and some underwear. Spock took the clothing from them and sent them on their way.

The comparison scans confirmed what they already knew. It was Jim alright. Just him from roughly twenty years ago. There was temporal energy completely surrounding him, weaving through his entire body.

Once he finished his ice cream, he sat perfectly still, silently watching McCoy work. It was unsettling to see such a small child so quiet and still. The doctor remembered when his own daughter Joanna was that age. She was always on the move, chattering away like it was her job. But Jim sat motionless, curled in on himself slightly as if to make himself smaller than he was, not making a single sound.

It worried McCoy. In the entire time he'd known Jim, he'd never known him to be this quiet and unmoving. Even in sleep, he was louder and more restless than this.

Spock also watched with alarm. For while Vulcan children were known for being very sedate, human ones were not. Spock had never seen a well adjusted human child act in this manner. Even Vulcan children were more lively than this. And the way that Jim compressed his body, as if he was trying to make himself go unnoticed, was telling.

Jim was not a happy child, and something was very wrong. Someone had hurt his T'hy'la as a child. Spock felt indescribable fury fill his chest, fill his very bones. He wanted to hunt down those who had hurt such an innocent child, his T'hy'la, and he wanted to rip them limb from limb. His T'hy'la, his Jim, did not deserve to feel like this. Especially not this young.

"Are you done with your scans, Doctor?" Spock asked spine stiff with anger at the treatment that must have caused this behavior in the child.

McCoy looked up from his scans. "I believe so. Mr. Spock."

"Would it be acceptable that I remove young Jim from sick bay and take him on a tour of the ship?"

"Yeah. Good idea, Spock. Show the kid around."

Spock walked forward and knelt in front of Jim. "Would you like to see the rest of the ship?" He asked kindly, making sure to emote that kindness as he knew that the normal blank Vulcan expression could be disturbing to humans, and especially to an abused child.

Jim nodded shyly.

Taking in the child's appearance, Spock held out the clothes to him. He took them hesitantly.

"Once you change into these clothes, we will go. Do you require assistance?"

Jim shook his head.

"I see. Then I will turn my back to give you privacy while you change. Let me know if you require assistance."

And with that, Spock sent young Jim on the floor and turned his back.

The quiet rustle of clothes, easily picked up by Spock's ears, told the story of the child's careful dressing. When he was done, he padded over to Spock and tugged on his hand.

Spock turned to see Jim dressed and, presumably, ready to go. Keeping his expression carefully soft, he knelt down next to Jim and smiled.

"Would you like to walk and hold my hand, or would you like me to carry you? Keep in mind that you can change your mind at any point in time. If you wish to walk now and be carried later or vice versa, I will be perfectly agreeable to that as well."

Jim blushed slightly and held out his arms to Spock. Looking away, he whispered, "Carried, please."

Spock wasted no time in scooping the young boy up into his arms. Jim squeaked and gripped Spock's shoulders tightly, burying his face in his neck.

Spock simply stood up and left sick bay, carrying the fair haired child easily. He was small and light for his age. It concerned Spock.

They walked the hallways as he showed Jim the highlights. They got funny looks from the crew, but luckily, no one actually said anything. Spock took Jim to the cafeteria, where he stopped to replicate two meals to bring along and one of Jim's favorite candy bars. This earned him a shy smile as Jim snatched the treat from his hand and devoured it as soon as he was given permission.

He also showed Jim some of the more child friendly science experiments happening on board at the moment. This fascinated Jim enough to get him to haltingly whisper questions in Spock's ear. Spock patiently answered each one. He was surprised by the child's thought process. Young Jim was just as brilliant as his older self.

They stopped at the gym momentarily. However, Jim wasn't very interested in it, so Spock moved on quickly. The rec room was also not a big hit. There were too many people. Jim shrank away from everyone, cuddling even closer to Spock.

The observation deck was next on Spock's mental list of places young Jim might enjoy. The observation deck was blessedly empty. Jim was enthralled. He uncurled from where he was hiding in Spock's arms. A huge grin spread over his face as he looked in wonderment out at the stars.

Spock sat down fluidly, despite the child in his arms. He crossed his legs and set Jim down on his lap.

"Wow." Jim whispered reverently, getting up and walking over to put his hands right up against the glass. "I like the stars. They're so pretty."

Spock hummed in agreement.

Jim turned to look at him. "You're nice. This is the bestest place momma's ever sent me to. Can I stay? I don't wanna go back. Momma's boyfriend isn't nice like you. He yells at me." He shuddered slightly and crawled back into Spock's lap. He wrapped his little arms around Spocks torso.

Spock gently stroked his blond hair as his heart filled with rage. He did not like the picture young Jim had just painted. He forced those emotions down, however. They were not useful in this moment. He merely continued carefully hold Jim.

"Of course, Jim." He whispered solemnly. "We'd be happy to have you stay here with us. I promise no one will yell at you or harm you here."

Jim smiled brightly up at him and snuggled closer. After some time, Spock brought out the meal he had replicated them. They happily ate as they watched the stars twinkling all around them.

Jim became more and more relaxed the longer he sat there, cuddled up in Spock's lap. They stayed that way for a long time, alone on the observation deck watching the stars. Jim fell asleep on Spock's lap.

****************

Bones worked over the scans and samples he'd taken from young Jim. He ran every test he could think of, every treatment he'd ever heard of, trying to find a solution.

The rest of the away team had thankfully returned unharmed, though they were unable to disarm the weapon.

It began to get late. He knew it would do no good to keep pushing through. Maybe he'd have fresh eyes after he got some sleep. Thinking this, Bones stood up and stretched.

Leaving sick bay, he headed to his quarters. He had just entered them and sat down when the door beeped, alerting him of a visitor.

"Come in!" He called out.

The door slid open to reveal Spock carrying young Jim. The golden haired child was snuggled against him fast asleep.

"Hey, Spock. So looks like the kid's sleeping, huh. Can't say I'm surprised. He's had a big, scary, confusing day."

"Yes, doctor. That brings me to the question I would like to discuss with you. Where should we put him to sleep? I do not think he should be left by himself. He is very young and obviously timid, I believe that giving him his own room would simply frighten him."

"That's probably about right. What do you suggest?"

"The best solution I see is to put him in my room since he seems to be more comfortable with me than with anyone else. I could set up a cot for me to sleep in and put him in my bed. That way, he would not be alone."

"Ok, but you are in command of Enterprise since the captain is..... indisposed..." McCoy said with a meaning look at Jim, sleeping in Spock's arms.

"I could pass command off to Sulu. I believe my presence is necessary to Jim at this time. Even though he somewhat trusts you, you have sickbay to run. On top of that, you have to find a way to return the captain to his former self. You do not have the time to adequately watch him. And he is terrified of everyone else. Sulu can easily take the Conn in my absence. But I believe it would do severe mental harm to Jim to be without me at this time, which is something I am not willing to do."

"Ok, Spock. That sounds reasonable. Go grab a cot from supplies and put the kid to bed. I gotta get to bed myself. If I ever wanna figure out how to fix this mess, I need my rest. So get on out so I can sleep."

"Very well, doctor. I will bring Jim by to see you in the morning."

"Good. Now shoo!"

Spock turned on his heel and left. He contacted supplies and requested a cot be sent over to his quarters. It was at his door when he arrived. He had the person who delivered it bring it inside before he dismissed him.

He carefully laid the sleeping child down on his bed before setting up the cot next to it. He then tucked Jim into bed and turned the room temperature down. He knew that humans tended to appreciate temperatures lower than Vulcans.

Walking into the bathroom that he shared with the captain, he quickly used the toilet and brushed his teeth. Once he had finished, he dimmed the bathroom lights and left the door open so that the low light out into the room. He didn't want Jim to wake in the night and be disoriented and frightened in the dark.

Changing quickly, Spock settled into the cot he had set up next to the bed. He made sure he was within visual range of young Jim in case he should wake up in the night. He didn't want the child to think he was alone. He had a feeling that Jim was all too used to that feeling, even at this young age.

Done all the needed preparations, he turned off the lights and soon after went to sleep. Hopefully, they would be closer to a solution in the morning.

Chapter Text

Spock woke the next morning to find that Jim snuggled up next to him sometime during the night. A small smile crossed his face as he watched the child sleep, his head pillowed on Spock's stomach. It was gratifying to know that his T'hy'la trusted him, even when he was terrified of everyone else.

Jim looked so peaceful, cuddled against him. A wave of affection flowed over him, and a little smile turned up his lips. He decided to let him sleep and so grabbed his padd and began working on what he could.

He sent a message to Sulu to inform him that he had the Conn but that he could contact Spock if he had any questions. That done, he contacted supplies to request several outfits to fit a 4 year old human boy. After that, he began to check up on the various science projects that were in progress. Jim continued to sleep soundly, pressed against his side.

The clothes were delivered to his room less than an hour later, just as Jim was beginning to stir. Jim blinked his bright blue eyes up at him blearly and snuggled closer when the door beeped, alerting Spock to their arrival. Spock simply lifted Jim into his arms as he got up to answer the door.

Jim hid his face in his neck as he opened it and took the garments. Thanking the crewman who delivered them, he shut the door and carried Jim into the bathroom.

Jim was cuddled into Spock's neck and was loathe to be set down.

"Jim." Spock murmured, rubbing his back soothingly. "It is alright. I will not leave you. But we need to get ready for the day. I need to take a shower, as do you. Would you like my assistance, or would you prefer to shower on your own?"

Jim pulled away from Spock's neck. "You." He answered definitively, not letting go of Spock's shoulders.

"That is acceptable, Kan-bu. However, you will have to release me in order to get ready for a shower."

At this Jim finally allowed Spock to set him down with a huff. He stood at Spock's feet, a pout firmly in place. Spock couldn't help the small smile that graced his face as he looked down at the child.

"Jim. I will now disrobe and turn the water on. You will need to remove your clothes as well to shower effectively."

Spock then stripped off everything but his underwear and turned on the water in the sonic shower, making sure to get it warm but not too hot.

When he was done, he turned to find Jim had done as he was told. His clothes were in a heap on the floor. He stared up at Spock expectantly.

Spock grabbed a couple washcloths and ushered Jim into the shower. They stood under the shower spray as Spock covered one of the washcloths in soap.

"Do you require assistance to apply the soap to your body, or can you do it yourself?"

Those brilliant blue eyes looked up at him. "I can do it."

"Very well." Spock handed him the soapy washcloth and turned away to grab him own and wash his own body, keeping an eye on Jim as he did so.

Jim was able to clumsily wash his body without Spock needing to intervene. Once he was done, Spock asked,

"May I help you with your hair? I believe my assistance would be useful to keep the soap from running into your eyes."

Jim nodded eagerly. Spock smiled at this. He found himself smiling more since yesterday than he had in the entire month. It was a disconcerting thought. Though there wasn't much he could do about it. He needed to allow his emotions to be more expressed around young Jim.

He knew that a normal human child would not understand the stoicism associated with his race. They typically perceived them as angry with them. And that was not even taking Jim's personal emotional issues into account. The child flinched away from everyone but him. He couldn't bear the thought of breaking that trust or of frightening or harming his T'hy'la.

This was also a stressful situation for him. And since he and Jim had been attached at the hip since it happened, he had not been able to meditate like he should. So it was inevitable that more emotions would slip through, especially around his T'hy'la.

These thoughts ran through his head as he carefully washed the child's hair. He gently tipped his head back as he soaped up his golden locks, massaging the shampoo into them. Then, instructing Jim to close his eyes, he meticulously rinsed it all out, being sure that none ran down his face.

Once the shampoo was washed out, Spock repeated the process with conditioner. He allowed it it sit in Jim's hair as he quickly washed and applied conditioner to his own. He then carefully rinsed out Jim's hair, followed by his own.

Shower having then been thus completed, he turned off the water and stepped out. Jim whined but followed suit. Spock wrapped Jim in a large fluffy towl the minute he emerged and helped him dry off amid the child's giggles.

Once Jim was sufficiently dry, Spock stripped out of his wet underwear and dried himself off. Afterwards, he secured the towel around his waist. He then carefully brushed Jim's hair, being careful not to yank any tangles. His own hair required much less attention. Just a few passes with the brush and it was perfect.

He led Jim back into the bedroom and gestured to the small pile of clothes for him. Jim grabbed them and happily sifted through them, looking at each item one by one.

"I can have different ones brought here if these are not to your taste." Spock said solemnly.

Jim clutched the clothes to his chest protectively and shook his head vehemently.

"Very well." Spock smiled. "I will leave you to pick out which clothes you wish to wear and dress yourself as I too need to clothe myself. Feel free to request assistance if you require any."

Jim nodded enthusiastically, beaming at his new clothes. Spock's heart clenched. He had only provided the child with clothes, a basic necessity, and yet he was acting like Spock had given him a treasure of untold worth. Something was very wrong. He determined to get some toys for Jim as soon as possible. He turned away to dress himself.

Once fully clothed, he turned back around to see Jim dressed in jeans and a brightly colored shirt, grinning. He held his other clothes in his hands and was seemingly loathe to put them down.

This only reinforced Spock's plan to get Jim some toys. If he was this enthralled by a few pieces of clothing, Spock wanted to see just how happy actual toys would make him. He grabbed his padd and asked for a couple toys to be replicated and sent to sick bay.

Then he walked over to young Jim. Kneeling to get on the child's level, he spoke softly.

"Jim. We must go now. We need to stop by sickbay this morning to see Dr. McCoy again. But we need to get food for our breakfast beforehand. What would you like to eat?"

Jim looked up from his new clothes. "Waffles?" He whispered.

"Very well. We will get you waffles. Would you prefer syrup or strawberries with whipped cream and powdered sugar?"

Jim lit up. "Strawberries!" He exclaimed.

"Very well. If I add bacon and eggs, will you eat them too?"

Jim nodded vigorously. His still damp hair had started curling itself into blond ringlets. Spock had never noticed before that the captain had curly hair. He filed the thought away for future inspection.

"Very well. As soon as you put down your clothes, we can head to the mess hall."

Jim set the clothes down on the bed and hopped off of it, sufficiently distracted by the thought of waffles.

"Would you prefer to walk or be carried?" Spock asked before walking to the door.

Jim simply held his arms up to Spock. Spock immediately scooped him up with graceful ease, and they left Spock's quarters.

Jim clung tighter to Spock as they approached the mess hall. It was full. A fact that was very apparent from the noise that spilled out into the hall. Spock stepped into the room, unnoticed by the majorityof its occupants. But enough eyes turned to them to make Jim hide his face in Spock's neck.

"I'm scared." He whispered in Spock's ear.

Spock paused in his determined walk towards the replicator. He ran his hand soothingly up and down Jim's back as he whispered back.

"It will be alright, Kan-bu. We are only in here to get our food. Once that is done, we will proceed to sickbay to eat it. We will not be in the mess hall for very long. Is that acceptable?"

Jim nodded against his neck but didn't let up on his death grip. Spock continued walking, ignoring the curious eyes that tracked his movements through the room.

Spock quickly made his way to the replicator and ordered their meals, requesting them in containers for later consumption rather than the regular plates and bowls. Then, gathering the containers in his free hand, Spock left the mess hall.

He walked quickly to sick bay, Jim cradled against him. The child seemed to flinch closer every time they passed anyone in the halls. This only served to hasten his steps, and soon, sickbay was in sight.

Jim seemed to relax infinitesimally as they crossed the threshold from the hall into sickbay. Spock felt the minute change and was glad for it. McCoy was at his desk pouring over files when they arrived. Spock headed straight for it.

He set the food down on the desk. Then, using his newly free arm, he brought a chair over for Jim to sit and eat his breakfast. McCoy looked up at the movement.

"Ahhh, you're here. I was wondering when you'd show up. Breakfast for the kid?" He nodded towards the food containers now adorning his desk.

"Yes. Jim does not appreciate the amount of people in the mess hall. Therefore, I felt that it would be logical to feed him in a more secluded location."

"Understandable, Spock. I assume you brought your own breakfast as well?"

"Correct, Doctor. There is no reason for me to eat at a separate time from Jim. Especially since he has a dislike for the mess hall."

"Yeah, yeah. Sit down and eat, you pointy eared hobgoblin!" McCoy scoffed jokingly.

Jim glared at him ferociously. "Spock is wonderful!" He snapped angrily. "Don't be mean to him, or I'll kick you."

McCoy stifled a laugh. "I guess some things never change. Alright, kid. You got me. I won't do it again."

"Apologize."

"Ok, kid." McCoy then turned to Spock.  "I'm sorry for insulting you, Spock."

"You are forgiven, doctor."

"There. We good now, kid?" McCoy asked Jim.

He nodded. "Just don't do it again."

Spock began to set out Jim breakfast. He assembled the waffles topped with whipped cream, powdered sugar, and strawberries. Then, he set out the bacon and eggs with Jim's preferred condiments.

"Jim. I will request that you eat at least some of the bacon and eggs before starting on your waffle." Spock said as he arranged them all within Jim's reach on the desk.

"Ok. I will." He replied as he began to happily spoon eggs into his mouth. His now fully dried blond curls bouncing in time with his movements.

Jim, being now taken care of, Spock pulled up a chair for himself and settled down to eat his own breakfast. McCoy stood up and began taking new scans of Jim while he was focused on shoveling food into his mouth.

The child ate at a rapid pace. It was almost like he was afraid that his food would be snatched from him if he did not eat it fast enough. Spock ate at a more sedate pace. Because of this, Jim had completely cleared all of his food before Spock had finished with his single dish.

When Spock finished eating, he cleared all the dishes and utensils they used into the waste bin. From there it would be recycled into energy for the replicator. He then stepped away for a moment, though he was careful to remain where Jim could easily see him. He didn't want to alarm his young T'hy'la.

He caught the attention of a personnel member and asked quickly if anything had been delivered there for him from supplies. They smiled and nodded before bringing over the items. Spock gathered them up and brought them over to Jim.

"Jim. I have something for you."

Jim looked up. His face lit up at the contents in Spock's arms. Spock handed him the toys. A stuffed teddy bear with soft brown fur. A shiny silver toy model of the Enterprise. And a brightly colored children's padd, programmed with several games for educational play.

Jim gathered them all in his hand and hugged them to his chest, eyes glowing with happiness.

"Thank you!" He whispered fervently, unable to let go of the toys.

"You are very welcome, Kan-bu." Spock answered, attempting to keep his emotions in check. "Every child deserves toys."

"I can't remember the last time I got new anything! You're so nice, Mr. Spock! I hardly have any toys or clothes at home. I always get Sam's old toys and clothes. They're always broken and full of holes. And mom always takes my toys away anyway. She says I'm too loud with them."

White hot rage boiled up inside Spock at this. How dare she treat her son like that?! Though he was against revenge on principle, Winona had a lot to answer for. If he ever met her, he vowed that he would make sure she felt just as small, just as afraid as she had made her child, her tiny, innocent child, feel.

Spock struggled to keep his fury from showing on his face. Thankfully, McCoy chose that moment to interrupt.

"I have all the scans I need for now, Spock. So if you and the kid wanna get on outta here, you can. Just come on back around lunchtime. I'll run some more tests then."

And with that, they were unceremoniously shooed them of sickbay.

Spock scooped Jim up into his arms, toys and all, and left sick bay. He headed back to his quarters. Jim was clearly enamored with his new toys, and so would probably want time to play with them uninterrupted. And it would give him some time to check in with work.

Once in his quarters, Spock set Jim down on the bed. The child simply grinned at him and began to play quietly. Spock pulled out his padd and began to work.

He went over report after report. Signing them, then moving on to the next one. But his mind was distracted. He couldn't help but think about what young Jim had told him in sickbay.

The clothes he could understand if Winona did not have the money to provide new clothes. Wearing an older siblings clothes was not inherently bad. The problem was that Starfleet had made it a point to take care of the families of those killed in service. This was especially true of George Kirk's widow. George Kirk was a Starfleet hero, a legend. Winona should have had plenty of money to buy both of her children new clothes and toys. So why didn't she?

And taking what few toys your child had away? Just for being a child? That was unacceptable. Spock found himself clenching his fist in anger.

Spock immediately unclenched his fist and took a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

He clearly needed to meditate. His emotions were getting the best of him. It would not do to be angry in front of Jim. He might get it into his head that Spock was angry at him, which was the last thing Spock wanted.

He glanced up to where Jim was quietly playing on the bed. He couldn't meditate while he had a child under his care. And since he could not leave Jim with anyone else on the ship, meditation would have to wait. He only hoped he could keep it together til they were able to find a solution.

Chapter Text

McCoy poured over the newest scans of Jim's body. He compared them to the previous ones, searching for any change, any clue.

In comparing the scans, it looked like there might be a minute drop in temporal energy weaving around and through Jim's body. Maybe. It was so small that McCoy couldn't really be sure it was there at all and not just his wishful thinking.

McCoy rubbed his eyes and laid his head on his desk. He had a splitting headache. There was no point in trying to push through right now. It would only serve to exasperate his headache. He would get some new scans and some new blood from Jim when they came for lunch.

He had to admit it was cute how attached to Spock little Jim was. McCoy had often thought that there might be some feelings of the nonplatonic varity going on there. And while there had never been any conclusive evidence, Jim evidently trusted Spock more than anyone else on board, including him.

He'd be slightly annoyed if it wasn't so damn cute! Jim was an adorable child. McCoy had had to restrain himself from cooing at him when Jim threatened him over his "insult" to Spock.

His train of thought led to Spock. Spock seemed more emotional than usual. McCoy found this concerning. Meditation was essential to Vulcans. He suspected that Spock had not been able to properly meditate since Jim became young. It would be difficult to do with Jim always connected to him.

He groaned, thumping his head on the desk. He really needed to figure out a solution fast. He needed to fix this before Spock lost his shit, or whatever it was that happened to Vulcans when they didn't meditate. He stood up and began running different tests on the blood samples he already had. He had to find a way to fix this. They were all depending on him.

**************

Spock worked on his padd for the next few hours while Jim played quietly on the bed with his new toys. Spock listened with half an ear to the child's mumbling and soft giggles. The sounds brought a surge of protectiveness up in him.

How could anyone, much less his own mother, treat him the way she had? And from what Jim had said, he wouldn't be surprised if things were actually worse at home than he was aware of.

A growl escaped Spock before he could stop himself. He needed to meditate badly. His emotional control was starting to slip.

Jim's head shot up. "Spock?" He whimpered. "I'm sorry! Was I being too loud? I'll be quieter! I promise! I'll be quiet! Please!"

He clutched the stuffed bear to his chest as if he were afraid it would be taken from him. His blue eyes began to fill with tears. Spock cursed himself internally. He immediately dropped the padd and rushed to the child's to reassure him.

"No, Jim. I am not unhappy with you. You were not being too loud, and I promise I will never take your toys away from you. They were a gift. They are your property and, therefore, not mine to take. They belong to you. Do you understand?"

Jim nodded timidly, desperately trying to hold his tears back. Spock continued.

"That being said, I am angry. However, I am not angry with you. I am simply angered that you have been treated in an unkind manner. It was not right. You deserve to be protected. I wish you had never had to experience such unkindness at the hands of those who were supposed to protect you."

He couldn't hold back anymore, and the tears in Jim's eyes spilled over. They rolled down his cheeks as his chest heaved with heavy sobs.

"Do you really mean it?" He gasped out. He struggled to catch his breath between sobs, trying, in vain, to stop crying.

"Yes. I do. With all my heart."

And with that, Spock gathered the crying boy into his arms. What little control the child had left dissolved at the comforting contact. He wailed loudly, dropping the stuffed bear in favor of clutching at Spock.

Spock simply sat down on the bed and held him. He rocked back and forth while rubbing Jim's back soothingly as he remembered his own mother doing for him when he was very young.

It took a long time before Jim calmed down enough so that his wails turned to hiccuping little whimpers. Soon, those too died away to soft snores. He had completely exhausted himself.

Spock felt completely out of his depth. It was a feeling he was not accustomed to. He had no idea what to do, so he carefully laid back in the bed with Jim still pressed up against him. It didn't take long for the rise and fall of Jim's chest to lull him into a light slumber.

*************
He awoke some time later to Jim stirring in his arms. Spock found himself surprised that he had fallen asleep as well, not having meant to. Jim sat up and rubbed at his face.

"Spock?" Jim mumbled sleepily.

"What can I do for you, Kan-bu?" Spock answered kindly. The reason for their little nap still fresh in his mind.

"I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat, please?"

Spock immediately sat up and checked the time. It was indeed lunchtime, a little past it actually.

"Of course, Jim." He smiled, running his hands gently through the child's loose curls in an attempt to fix his hair. "Give me a moment to make myself presentable after our impromptu rest, and we will be going. After all, we did promise the doctor that we would have lunch with him in sickbay."

With that, he stood up and walked quickly over to the bathroom. He fixed his tossled hair quickly and returned to the main room where Jim was waiting, teddy bear in hand.

Spock crouched down to be on his level. "Would you like to walk or be carried?"

Jim thought for a moment, hugging his bear. "Walk?"

"Very well. Let me know at any time if you change your mind and wish to be carried."

Jim nodded.

Spock held out his hand to Jim. Jim grabbed it, clutching it tightly as they left Spock's quarters.

Jim pressed close to Spock as they walked through the corridors to the mess hall. Spock was thankful to see, when they reached it, that most of the people had already eaten and gone, leaving it fairly empty.

Spock led them over to the food replicator. Once there, he knelt down next to Jim.

"Jim. What would you like to eat for lunch?"

Jim considered for a moment. "A burger?" He finally whispered.

"What type of burger would you like?"

After another moment of thought, he answered definitively. "A cheeseburger."

"If I get you fries and an apple as well, will you eat it?"

Jim nodded happily.

Spock stood up and programmed it in along with his own meal. He made sure to get them in containers so they could eat in sickbay as promised. He then took the food and led Jim from the mess hall to sickbay.

Jim seemed slightly more relaxed than he had at breakfast time. Even so, he still stuck close to Spock. He trotted alongside him, gripping his hand tightly.

When they reached sickbay, they found McCoy exactly as they had left him that morning. He was sitting at the desk pouring over Jim's medical records. Spock approached the desk.

"Doctor. Have you made any progress towards the nature of the captain's condition and how to reverse it?" He questioned.

McCoy jumped with a startled squawk. Obviously, he had not seen them enter.

"What in tarnation?!" He shouted. "Damn it, Spock! Warn a guy next time! Damn sneaky Vulcans! I oughta make you wear a bell!"

Jim let go of Spock's hand and walked over to McCoy. Once in range he kicked him in the shin as hard as he could.

"I already told you. Don't be mean to Spock!" He growled. "It not his fault you weren't paying attention."

"Jesus, kid! Ok, ok!" McCoy exclaimed, rubbing his leg. "Fuck! For a little kid, you sure have strong kick! That's definitely gonna leave a mark! Oww!"

Jim walked over to the chair he had occupied that morning and plopped down into it. He looked very smug. Both Spock and McCoy couldn't help but smile. That was definitely a look they both recognized. He looked just like the Jim they knew, just younger. It really was very cute. This small blond child lounging in the chair looking very satisfied with himself.

Spock set out the food for Jim, who immediately began devouring it. Then Spock set out his own lunch while McCoy did the same. They discussed Jim's deaging while they ate, being sure to couch it in titles and medical terms so that the child hopefully wouldn't realize they were talking about him.

Unfortunately, McCoy didn't really have anything new to report. He thought there might be a slight lessening in the temporal energy weaving through the kid's body, but he couldn't be entirely sure. Spock listened attentively and added suggestions here and there. But unfortunately, they were just as far from a solution as ever.

After everyone had finished eating and the dishes had been cleared away, McCoy pulled out his medical equipment. He spent the next few minutes taking some more scans of Jim, as well as a few new blood samples. Once he had all he needed, he sent them on their way.

Before they left, Spock turned to McCoy.

"Doctor. We will be eating supper in another part of the ship. Therefore, we will not see you until tomorrow morning. I believe it might be beneficial for you to take a break. As important as it is to get this issue fixed as quickly as possible, exhausting yourself will do no one any good. I therefore advise you to take the evening off."

"Yeah, yeah, Spock. Stop pontificating. I get the picture. Once I go over these new scans and blood samples, I'll take a break. Happy?"

"Very."

"Fantastic. Now get out. Shoo!"

After they left, McCoy looked over the new data he had collected. This time, there was a noticeable difference in the amount of temporal energy his equipment picked up. He was unsure if this was good or bad, but it was, at the very least, a change. He could work with change.

****************

Spock took Jim around the ship like he had when he first came aboard. They checked up on the various science experiments going on on board Enterprise.

Jim had gone back to wanting to be carried after lunch. After all, the ship was large, with many decks and corridors, and they were doing a whole lot of walking. It really was no surprise that Jim grew tired of it quickly.

Jim was very interested in all the different science projects happening around him. He chattered away at Spock whenever there was a free moment, asking question after question. Spock answered each one patiently.

Given Jim's reaction when they inspected the science experiments the previous day, he had expected nothing less than endless questions. It made Spock happy. It it reminded him of the person Jim would become in about twenty years. Adult Jim. His T'hy'la. The man he loved and desired above all others.

Jim seemed a bit more at ease today, though he still shied away from everyone except Spock and, to a lesser extent, McCoy. At least he was now confident enough to voice his questions in a tone more audible than the whisper of the previous day.

They eventually moved on from the labs to check up on the botanical studies. Jim was in awe of all of the plants. He got excited every time Spock allowed him to touch one. He was ever so gentle with each plant. Softly caressing the leaves and petals being very careful not to injure the plants. All the while telling Spock how pretty each one was.

After a few hours, they turned their steps back to the mess hall to grab supper before everyone else flooded in to eat. Spock typed in their food order and they took it with them to the mostly deserted observation room.

There were only a few people in the observation room, and they all made sure to give Spock and Jim a wide berth.

News of what had happened to the captain had spread like wildfire throughout the ship. But while everyone was curious, they were also smart and respectful enough to keep their distance. After all, it was obvious just from looking at them that young Jim did not want the attention.

So Jim and Spock sat on the floor in front of the window. They were left entirely alone by the handful of others in the room. Jim curled up in Spock's lap as he asked questions about anything and everything in the way that four year olds do. Spock answered every question as best he could with seemingly endless patience.

They ate their evening meal there, staring out at the stars. Jim looked down at the planet below them without a scrap of recognition. He began to ask questions about it as well, which Spock answered to the best of his ability. Finally, when Jim began to yawn, Spock picked him up, and they returned to Spock's quarters for the night.

Spock helped Jim get dressed in a soft shirt and pair of pants that he deemed suitable for bed. They washed their faces and brushed their teeth side by side in the bathroom. Then time came for them to get into bed.

Spock tucked the child into bed and read him a traditional earth bedtime story from his padd. It brought back memories from his own childhood. Of his mother reading to him before bed too, when he was very young.

When the story was finished, he turned out the lights. He left only the bathroom lights on, and those he dimmed, before laying down on the cot beside the bed.

After a few moments of silence, Jim spoke up.

"Spock?" He whispered.

"I am here, Jim."

"Please, Spock. It's scary. I don't want to sleep alone."

Spock bit back a sigh.

"Very well, Jim. I will sleep in the bed with you. Will that help ease your fears?"

Jim nodded.

Spock got up off the cot. He then picked it up and moved it to the end of the bed so that it would be out of the way. That done, he climbed into his bed beside the child. Jim immediately snuggled up next to him and sighed contentedly.

"Goodnight, Spock." He mumbled into his side.

"Goodnight, Kan-bu." Spock replied. As he ran his hand through Jim's hair soothingly. Soon, the room was filled with the sound of the child's soft snores as they both drifted off to dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Spock woke up the next morning to a body spralled out on top of him, crushing him into the mattress. A large, completely naked, adult body. He opened his eyes to find Jim, adult Jim, asleep on top of him.

Spock, still half asleep, couldn't keep his eyes from wandering over his T'hy'la's naked form. Fuck he was gorgeous!

He had seen him partially naked before on the odd away mission. It was no secret that the captain had a penchant for ripping or losing his shirt. But he had never before had the chance to see all of him and to truly look at him.

He doubted he would ever tire of observing his T'hy'la's body.
His chest and arms were perfection. This, he had known this for a while, but now his entire body was bare to his gaze.

His eyes trailed down Jim's strong back, over his perfectly round ass, and further down to his powerful legs and thighs. His cock began to become erect as well at the sight. His mate's form was truly lovely.

He caught himself as he became more awake. Spock tore his eyes away from Jim's body as horror at what he had been doing filled him. He was ogling the captain without his knowledge or permission.

Spock willed his lust away as Jim began to stir. He rolled off of Spock and stretched with a yawn. He slowly opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. It took a second for everything to sink in. After a couple moments, his brain kicked online and he sat up with a jolt. He wrapped the blanket around his body as he looked wildly around him.

"Uhhhh, Spock?" He finally spoke. His voice was low and rough with sleep. "Why am I naked in bed with you? Please tell me we didn't have sex and I forgot it. Not that I would. Cause damn! If I ever got into those pants of yours, I can't imagine I'd ever forget the experience. Unless I did, of course. Which would truly suck. Really -"

"Captain!" Spock interrupted him. "We did not engage in coitus."

"Ok. Ok. Cool. So why am I naked in your bed then?"

"That is a very good question. The answer is, unfortunately, a long and  rather complicated one."

"But we didn't have sex?"

"No. We did not. You were a child."

"Ooooooooooook. That is an answer. That's definitely an answer. What the fuck?"

"What is the last thing you remember Captain?"

"Spock. I'm in your bed, butt naked. You can drop the title. Makes me feel like I forgot to get dressed before going to the bridge. And that is not a comforting feeling."

"Very well. Jim. My question still stands, though. What is the last thing you remember?"

Jim thought about it for a moment. "We beamed down with the away team to explore a planet. There was a weapon of some kind firing at us. Then waking naked in your bed. That's it."

"The away mission was two days ago, Jim. You were hit by the weapon. It deaged you by approximately twenty years. You have been four years old for the past two days."

"Ooooooook........ That's not weird at all.... You sure you're not pulling my leg, Spock? Did Bones put you up to this?"

"I am not "pulling your leg" Jim. You can confirm it with McCoy or any other crew member if you do not believe me." Jim thought Spock sounded a bit offended

"Ok, Ok. I believe you, Spock. But damn! That sounds absolutely insane! And also, why was 4 year old me in your bed?"

"I had every intention of sleeping on a cot beside the bed. However, you stated that you were frightened and did not wish to sleep alone. So I obliged and joined you in the bed."

"I guess that makes sense. But why am I naked? And for that matter, why was I sleeping in your room to begin with?"

"McCoy and I did not think it was advisable to leave you by yourself. And since you were afraid of everyone on board Enterprise except for myself, I was the obvious choice. As for your clothes, I believe you outgrew them in your sleep."

Spock picked a torn childsized shirt out of the covers and held it up for Jim to inspect.

"Ok. Ok. That makes sense. I guess." Jim looked from the tiny shirt to his blanket covered body before straightening up.

"Well. As interesting as this is, I am naked, and I'd much prefer to not be. So I'm going to go get dressed. I'll be back to finish this discussion when I have clothes on."

With that, Jim hopped out of bed, dropping the blanket, and headed for the bathroom. Since they shared a bathroom, it was the easiest way to get to Jim's quarters from Spock's.

Spock averted his eyes from Jim's naked body. He had stared at Jim without his permission too much for one day. He felt a wave of guilt surge through him at the thought. Even though Jim was his T'hy'la, he should never have leered at him like that.

As soon as the bathroom door slid closed behind Jim, Spock got up himself. He hurriedly pulled on his clothes and ran a brush through his hair to fix it. He didn't want to be the only one not fully dressed.

It only took a few minutes for Jim to return to Spock's room via their shared bathroom. His hair was also brushed, and he was fully dressed in command gold.

As he entered the room, he spotted the brown furred teddy bear. It was lying on the floor next to the bed. He gasped and reached for it. Grabbing it, he cradled it tightly against his chest.

"Holy shit!" He whispered as he reverently stroked its ear. "Holy shit! I remember this! I remember this bear! I had it as a kid! I loved it! You gave it to me!.......... He stopped short. "You gave it to me?.......... What the fuck?"

"Jim. Do you remember?" Spock asked gently.

Jim scrunched up his face in thought as he searched his memories. "I.... I....do?" He said at last. "Holy shit! I do! It's really fuzzy and not quite right. I have memories of being on this ship as a child, but I also remember being on earth with Frank at the same time. It's like I have two memories overlapping."

He ran his hand over his face, then burst out laughing. "Did I really kick Bones?!"

"Yes, Jim. You did."

"Fuck! I can't believe I did that! Bones is never gonna let me live that down! Holy fuck!"

Jim dropped into a nearby chair, unable to stop laughing. The bear was still clutched in his arms. It took several minutes to compose himself. When his laughter eventually slowed to a stop, he turned to Spock.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Spock." He said. His tone was sincere and a touch vulnerable. "You didn't have to, and it means a lot to me that you did."

"Of course, Jim. It was my pleasure. You were a very sweet child."

"Can I keep this?" Jim held up the stuffed bear.

"Jim. It is your toy. I gave it to you. I have already told you that I will not take it away from you. I will not go back on that. It is yours. Do whatever you wish with it."

"Thank you, Spock."

"No thanks are necessary. I was happy to do it."

"If you say so." Jim smiled self consciously at Spock.

"We should probably go inform the doctor of this turn of events. He has been most concerned for your well being."

Jim jumped out of the chair at the mention of McCoy.

"Oh shit, Bones! You're right!"

Jim led the way out of Spock's quarters. He walked purposefully towards sick Bay, where the doctor was most certainly located. They received smiles of relief and excitement from every crew member they passed. It was safe to say that the crew was happy to have their captain back.

Silence fell as all eyes turned to them when Jim strode into sick bay. Bones looked up from his work.

"Jim!" He yelled out before pulling him into a tight hug.

He then proceeded to look him over and take full medical scans and blood samples. They chatted while he went over the data. Once he had finished, he turned back to Jim.

"Well, it looks like you are indeed finally back to normal. My best guess is that you were temporarily displaced in time. Seriously, Jim. Not that I didn't like your younger self, he was cute as hell, but I'm glad you're back."

"Awwwwwww, you thought I was cute?" Jim teased.

"Absolutely! I ain't ashamed to say it. You were a very cute kid. Terrified of everyone but Spock, but still cute. And I gotta admit, it was kinda adorable how you clung to the pointy eared bastard. And though I didn't much like how you flinched away from me, you warmed up to me after a couple of visits."

"Wait. Wait. Wait. If I was scared of everyone, why wasn't I scared of you, Spock?"

"Captain, please. While I have an explanation, I would prefer to discuss this matter with you in private."

McCoy raised his eyebrows suggestively and smothered a laugh.

"What do you mean, Spock?!" Jim demanded.

"Please, Captain. I will explain everything to you. But not here. It is a matter that I wish to discuss in private, rather than in front of everyone. I would prefer it not to become the next topic of gossip among the crew."

Jim sighed. "Ok, Spock. We can discuss this later."

"Thank you, Captain."

Jim nodded at Spock and went back to talking with McCoy. McCoy filled him in on the medical side of what had happened. At least to the best of his knowledge. Most of it was an educated guess. After he was done talking to the doctor, he left sick bay and headed for the bridge.

Spock followed behind. He found himself unwilling to let Jim out of his sight. He had, apparently, grown too used to his constant presence and was now loathe to let it go.

He berated himself internally for this lapse in logic. He knew the captain was safe. He was back to his adult self. He was no longer a child frightened of everyone. He no longer needed Spock's protection. He did not need Spock trailing after him like some sort of guard dog.

Spock needed to meditate. But in oder to do that, he would need to peel himself away from Jim. Which was something he found himself unwilling to do.

Spock struggled with himself all the way to the bridge. His instincts, usually kept in check by logic, were now at war with him. He knew the logical course of action would be to allow the captain to check up on the bridge alone while he went to his room to meditate.

After all, he was not currently needed on the bridge. And he desperately needed to meditate, to set things right within himself. The events of the last few days had been unsettled in the extreme. He desperately needed to set them, and the emotions that accompanied them, to rights in his head. It was the logical course of action. But he could not find it in him to do it. So he continued on the captain's heels all the way to the bridge.

The bridge crew all looked up from their stations as the door opened and the captain stepped onto the bridge. Wide smiles immediately spread across every face.

"Keptin on the bridge!" Chekov shouted.

The crew whooped and cheered.

"It's good to have you back, captain." Sulu greeted him, patting him on the back as he relinquished the captain's chair to Jim.

Jim lounged across it in a move that made Spock's heart ache as it called to his memory young Jim doing the same in sick bay just the day before.

"It's good to be back, Sulu." Jim replied. "Though to be completely honest, it feels like I never left."

A hearty laugh followed this statement, and the crew all began to swarm him. He took it good naturedly. It was obvious that the last few days had been stressful for them.

Spock, who had lingered just inside the door, finally was able to force himself away. This was where the captain belonged. Spock looked around at the happy faces surrounding the captain. Their joy at having him back was palpable. Jim did not need Spock and his stoicism hanging around in the shadows. Spock quietly turned and left the bridge.

He slowly returned to his quarters. He laid out his meditation mat and lit his incense. Sitting cross legged on his mat, he attempted to meditate. He found he could not. His mind refused to cooperate.

It insisted on wandering to Jim. The conversation he had promised to have with him kept popping up in his mind. He had not had this much trouble meditating in a long time. The last time had been when he came to the realization that the captain and himself were T'hy'la.

It had taken him a couple days after that particular incident to be able to meditate properly. Unfortunately, he did not have that kind of leeway here. He had already gone three days without meditating. And the situations he had been put since his last meditation had been stressful, to say the least. He needed to meditate. He could not wait a few days for the storm in his mind to calm.

He stayed seated, attempting to force his mind into meditation. It did not work. However, staring at the glowing end of the incense helped some. It lulled him into an almost meditative state. He sat there until the incense in front of him burned down to nothing but ashes.

It was not enough, but it helped. He hadn't been able to truly sort through and deal with recent events and the feelings they evoked. But at least he was able to quiet some of the anxiety coursing through him.

Once the incense stick was completely gone, he got up and put away his mediation mat. Then he waited.

Knowing the captain as well as he did, he knew that he would come to him when he was ready for the explanation he had asked for. Spock wished he had been able to fully meditate before this conversation, but at least his mind was calm instead of in turmoil.

Thankfully, he did not have to wait long. The door soon beeped to signal that he had a visitor.

"Please enter." Spock called out in answer.

The door slid open to reveal Jim. He stepped in, smiling at Spock.

"Hey, Spock." He began when the door had fully closed behind him. "You promised me an explanation once we were in private. So here I am. Now, what's this big secret?"

"Jim." Spock cleared his throat and forced himself not to look away from Jim's eyes. "This is information you may not want to hear. It will change our relationship forever. You may no longer feel comfortable in my presence after learning this. Are you certain you wish to know."

"Ok, Spock. You're kind of starting to freak me out here. Yes, I want to know. You promised you would explain. So tell me!"

Spock took a deep breath to steady himself.

"You are my T'hy'la." He began. And just like that, the words came tumbling out, unbidden. Words he had longed to say for so long.

"Our katras are interwoven. They have been since our birth and will continue to be so long after our death. Our paths are intertwined. Our minds are drawn together. We are destined to walk together. Our futures are inseparable. We are as close as it is possible to be without a formal marriage bond in place."

Spock had to force himself to stop talking. To stop waxing poetic about Jim, his Jim, and the bond they shared.

"It sounds like you're saying we're soulmates or something, Spock." Jim whispered, his emotions shifting across his face like sand.

"In a way that is not inaccurate. We are T'hy'la."

"T'hy'la, huh?"

"Yes. It is a Vulcan word for a naturally occurring bond. One that is very rare and highly revered. The bond is considered more than a betrothal but less than a marriage. The best translation of the word is friend, brother, lover. But those words are not deep enough to describe the true nature of the bond. Our minds desire to be one with one another. They reach out to each other. They long to be united. To never be parted from each from the other. Surely you can feel it too?"

Jim had to clear the emotions that clogged his throat before speaking. "I do. I do. Spock, are you saying that you want us to be together?"

"Yes, Jim. In any way and every way, you will allow. I never wish to leave your side. Even if it is just as a friend."

"But you want us to be lovers?"

"Yes. That is what I wish."

"Fuck!" Jim whimpered out as if he had been wounded. "Fuck! I hadn't even dared to hope! I couldn't even imagine that you'd actually want me too!"

"You desire me as well?" Spock whispered, hope coloring his words.

"Yes! God, yes! I've wanted you for years! I've restrained myself because I figured there was no way you'd ever be interested in me as anything more than a friend!"

"Jim. I am interested. I am more than interested. I love you, Jim. Deeply. You are my T'hy'la. My ashayam. My beloved."

"Fuck Spock!"

Jim threw himself into Spock's arms. He grabbed either side of Spock's face and kissed him desperately. A kiss that Spock returned enthusiastically.

"I love you too, Spock." He whispered against his lips when they finally broke the kiss.

Spock held him tighter, crushing him against his chest. Jim melted into the hug, feeling completely safe and loved. It was a new feeling. But a really fantastic one.

A smile spread its way across his face.
He could get used to this.