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The Ballad of Theda and Erik

Summary:

It's the typical vampire meet vampire love story, spanning many decades and focusing primarily on the titular couple of Theda and Erik.

Chapter Text

1923. The shadows on the walls stretched and grew the closer the pair walked into the light, eclipsing the pale white glow that engulfed them, only adding to the fairness of their skin, Theda was a ghostly, spectral white, especially when she was on film, the shadows around her eyes come close to looking like a domino mask against the pale snow white of her skin.

 

One could‘ve guessed that she was a “Vamp”.

 

But who would ‘ave thought she literally was?

 

Theda was a dead ringer for that peculiar flavour of nineteen tens sex symbol, the gothic, foreboding and exotic breed of woman that men would fawn over, lust after, be driven plain crazy by, but would be glad to see perish and die horribly by the end of the film, as they hold their beloved, typically blonde bombshell or cute brunette tight as the credits close on them.

 

In what was an appropriate coincidence, she shared a name with one of these iconic Vamps, Theda Bara, though that name was simply an anagram for “Arab Death”, likely because her true name, Theodosia Goodman, didn't have as much as an ominous and exotic ring to it…

 

Theda drifts angelically, ghostly through the dark and twisting alleyways, far from alone, her arm’s locked in the arm of her good friend and spawner, the much older Mr. Murnau, their hair’s combed far back, a dark, reddish brown colour, his nose’s thin, pointing outward, and his eyes dark and beady yet carrying a charm to them, as most of their kind seemed to carry, truthfully, almost all of their kind tended to draw humble and mere mortals towards them…

 

Like bees to honey, or moths to roasting fires.

 

No matter how dangerous or unwell for their health it may be, especially when the blood starts to flow and drip to the lips of people like Theda and Murnau on a particularly bad day.

 

But that was a risk which plenty would take…

 

Murnau’s Familia, a young filipino boy of around the age of fourteen or at least thirteen, by the name of Matty accompanies them, carrying both their bags and of course his blood, as a “Familia” at least in the term of their secret world, was a servant to the vampire, a mortal aid.

 

They were willing donors of blood, partner and or a lover, and very much depending on the vampire they were subservient to “A future vampire in the making”, waiting for the day to come that they would be granted the gift of immortality, the thirst for blood and all the fun.

 

Theda had this head of wild and dark, close to pitch black hair, her slim body’s hugged in what was almost a matching dress, one that showed off some leg, damn near showing off the flesh above her knees scandalously enough, whenever she was having herself a grand time on the town, almost completely in love with the nightlife, something understandable, as she didn't have much options for a life outside of one in the night, not too much of one…

 

This isn’t to say that her kind was unable to roam in the daylight, as that “Fact” was merely an over exaggeration to say the very least, they could, but they needn’t stay in it for too long, unless they didn’t mind the scent of burning in the air, seeping out from their many pores.

 

Theda used t’work down at a speakeasy bar…

 

She was a waitress when Mr. Murnau met then, she remembered how he commented on how it was odd, and damn near cruel that such a beautiful young woman like her was working behind the bar in a place like that, instead of up on stage or the silver screen where a woman like them belonged, to be admired.

 

Adding how he of all people knew

 

“After all… It’s my job to put people like that on screen”.

 

That was before he introduced himself to her as F.W. Murnau, the German filmmaker, and he would begin to shower her in his charm, along with compliments and… She wouldn't have said it was “Flirting”, but saying things about how a woman like her, a human being like her, deserved for their stunning and immense beauty to be immortalised for decades to come?

 

Now, Theda may have found him an odd man, but she, being down on her luck and poor at that point in time, decided to take the gamble, finding herself drawn to him like a little fish is drawn to the light of a big fat Anglerfish or how a bug’s drawn to a big green Venus flytrap.

 

Either way, she’d fall under his sway, like someone caught in a violent and tumbling wave, something fun and exhilarating to some, but with close to no control, and that was before he plunged his teeth into her neck, and made her one of them, something for others to die for.

 

Something for others to be near hopelessly addicted to, to be drawn to like moths to a fire…

 

And Theda was one for that intoxicating thrill.

 

There was a lavish party awaiting them, one solely for Murnau’s nest, those who like Theda.

 

They saw beauty and potential within their flesh and bones, one that he wished to preserve.

 

The door opens to a nervous looking yet “Pretty” young woman, who asked them to identify themselves, in response, they flashed their fangs, their pearly whites glistening in the light. yet at this normally terrifying sight, she would let the three in, doing so with this little nod…

 

Awaiting them were the strikingly gorgeous Natacha Rambova, born embarrassingly simply as Winifred Kimball Shaughnessy, accompanied by the iconic “Latin Lover” and Hollywood sex symbol Rodolfo Alfonso Raffaello Pierre Filiberto Guglielmi di Valentina d’Antonguella, or as Rod was more commonly referred to as:

 

“Rudolph Valentino”, meanwhile, standing by the large stairs was this tall, thin and certainly imposing man of around fifty in his age, with dark hair and a heavy German accent, one that was almost heavier than Mr. Murnau’s accent.

 

Max Schreck was, if you were asked to guess which one amongst the guest was a vampire, the one you would immediately assume was a creature of the night, an assumption helped by his intimidating presence, and would’ve been far from a wrong guess, in fact, Max was among the first of Murnau’s spawns, turned by him around the filming of the haunting “Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror” in which Schreck portrayed the titular monster, originally intended to be Count Dracula, though to avoid a lawsuit from Bram Stokers estate, all names were changed, with Dracula renamed “Orlok”.

 

Either way, despite how sensational the film would be, it would still be mauled alive by the Stoker estate, the court ordering all prints to be burned, but having expected and feared this, Murnau would have prints hidden all over the place, like his personal buried treasure.

 

Natacha complimented their appearances, saying they “Haven’t aged a day” only for Schreck to comment in his robotic, deadpan tone

 

“Have you forgotten what we are?” Natacha quips “Other than drop dead gorgeous? Famous… Rich…” flashing her fangs playfully she adds

 

“Vampires?” doing nothing to get rid of the near permanent scowl on Schreck’s long and gaunt face, his eyes carrying this boredom, even when he was in a good and or jovial mood.

 

You would’ve been surprised to hear that he actually had a sense of humour, albeit one as black as coal in a pitch black cave in the middle of an ominous and cloud covered night, his humour was gallows humour and he loved it.

 

Theda, eager for a drink, drifts pass Natacha to the table, saying “I am just spitting feathers”.

 

Now prohibition may’ve, on paper at least, slowed down the production, the distribution and the sale of alcohol within the United States, but it didn't stop the nations thirst for alcohol, and there was of course the fact that they had plenty of alcohol all around the damn place.

 

All they had to do was say it was “Grape juice” and all would wind up being peachy keen.

 

Drinks like red wine tended to do the trick for vampires, as for whatever reason, it reminds them of blood and gets their cold, undead hearts pumping, beating heavy like a war drum. Her white fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle, only for another hand to wrap their way over her snow white fingers, her eyes darting upward to the man whose hand wrapped around hers, their eyes too darting to Thedas.

 

She didn't recognise the man, and he didn't seem to recognised her, the two looked at one and other for a while, trying to figure out who was who, and what the hell they were doing with their drink in their grips, cold and white.

 

“Ah, Erik” Mr. Murnau said with a warm smile

 

“I’d take it you know him?” Theda asked Murnau, her eyes still trained on this stranger.

 

“Of course I know him, after all, I’m the one who made him the man… Vampire he is today” at this, Erik flashed her a pearly smile, his fangs show prominently in the smile he gave her. It seemed that Erik had done Murnau a favour or two, such as hiding and distributing reels of the film Nosferatu for Murnau to ensure the films survival, the Stoker estate be damned

 

“You’re Theda, right?” Erik asked her “You’d guess correctly” Theda said, still waiting for him to let go of the bottle and her hand

 

“Its a pleasure meeting you… Now y’mind letting go?”

 

Theda asked him, only for Rambova to swoop in saying

 

“Now I’ll be taking that darlings” giving a seductive look to the dashing, forever twenty-something stranger by named Erik, Theda wasn't quite sure why yet, but she felt compelled to hiss at Rambova, to shoo her off.

 

She wasn't sure why she wanted Erik, she knew full well he was nothing but an undead “Cake-Eater” one who’d hop from one partner to the other, and he knew it too, and so did Natacha, who would go upstairs to make herself more comfortable saying “See you soon” giving a wink that left Theda quietly shivering

 

“Why the hell did I like that?” Theda thought.

 

Erik turned their attention back to Theda asking “So, just how long have y’known Murnau?” adding

 

“I’d have to have noticed a face like yours in all these years of being… Dead? Alive?” Theda rolled her eyes as she smirked saying “Lets just say a couple years… How about you?”

 

“Met him back in Switzerland during the war” Erik told her “And that was before he bit me”

 

“So when did he do that?” Theda asked with just a sliver on intrigue “In Germany, in 1920” adding that it was during the filming of “The Head of Janus” and how Murnau and another vampire may have turned some of the other actors on set during their production of the unauthorised adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

 

“I think it was the one who turned him, but I’m not too sure, I wasn't really paying attention”

 

“What distracted you?” Theda asked him “Other than thinking ‘Holy crap I’m a vampire’?” Theda giggled to this joke of his “Not much, maybe I was daydreaming of beautiful women”

 

“Well aren't you so simple” Theda said, the two of them exchanging looks at one and other.

 

From the corner of their eye they saw Murnau and Max watching them with amusement on their faces, Murnau asking their dear friend

 

“…So when do you think that they’ll start Max?”“

 

Start what?” to which Murnau said “Well… When they start to loc—“ quickly realising what he meant Schreck said

 

“Likely after your surprise, whatever it may be” Theda asked the two

 

“You know that we’re right here… Do you?” to which Murnau said plainly that “Oh, we do” with Schreck adding “He simply doesn’t care”

 

Erik chuckled “Also I don’t wanna bother you all, but there’s somebody hiding in the closet”

 

“Well thats not a nice thing to say about Murnau” Theda remarked, bringing out laughter from both Erik and Murnau

 

“Oh! That reminds me, we should go and fetch our little guest”

 

“We mustn’t keep our lovely Natacha waiting for too long” Theda said, almost imitating her, even down to the way that she swayed about almost theatrically, her hips bouncing about.

 

Eriks smile remained… Theda likes the smile.

 

They had themselves a special guest, someone Theda and Murnau found down in a cabaret, just done up like a doll, singing just the sweetest of renditions of “Do It Again” which had ever caught the ears of Murnau, with the fact that the one wearing the makeup was a boy…

 

But to be fair, a man like Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau was never one to be deterred by males.

 

Theda’s the one to get them out of the closet, the young man that is, the one named Jamie. Jamie was ushered in by Theda, who would ask him if he was nervous and if he was afraid

 

“Afraid of living forever?” he asked her with a sly look before admitting, just a bit nervously

 

“Not sure if I should or not” Jamie said “Oh come on” Theda said “…It’ll be the bee’s knees”.

 

The smile slowly faded as he readied himself.

 

Jamie was a slim and gorgeous young man, his eyes pale blue in their colour, carrying an intensity and an allure common within vampires, despite his lack of being a real vampire, though they fully intended to change that, hence why they invited him to their private party.

 

Far from the only private party Jamie been to.

 

Jamie dressed dapperly as he could’ve, though he was far from being “Financially stable”, hence why he, for one thing, worked in a cabaret on the seedy side of tinsel town, and lived here in tinsel town to begin with, the city of dreams, to find fame and fortune for himself, to be remembered and loved, and would do anything for a chance to be remembered, and he figured that somebody like Murnau would have been more than willing to help them out…

 

But unlike Theda, he knew full well what was going to happen, and knew almost full well the fangs he would allow to fill him with their poison, their release, and make him one of them, but knowing that the needle is coming doesn’t take away the sting and pain from the steel.

 

Theda tells him reassuringly “It’ll be fun” though Erik would comment “You’re only dying” chuckling a bit to this own joke “Now who said anything about dying?” Murnau asked them, greeting Jamie with a wide smile and open arms, with the reddest of red wine at hand, its colour an incredible crimson and scarlet colour, one which matched the blood in their veins

 

“And I can’t have you dying on me” he added as he puts his hands on Jamie’s shoulders

 

“After all, I promised to put that beautiful face of yours on film now didn't I?” saying this, Murnau smiles to Jamie, who’d simply smile in response as he’s handed a glass of red wine.

 

Murnau tells him to “Drink up” as Theda chooses not to tell him that Murnau’s blood was in it, though she intended to tell him that little detail later, maybe after Murnau and the others drank his blood like Jamie drank Murnau’s unknowingly, simply smiling as he does so, the good news was that he didn’t seem to notice, he never drank red wine often, so he couldn’t quite pin down the taste, all he knew was that it was red, and that he’d have to get used to it.

 

Theda giggled before telling the two to “Get a room” Murnau responding “We already do” adding that “We wouldn't want to leave our dear Natacha waiting… I told her about you”

 

“Have you now? Well, don’t I feel just special”

 

“Make yourself comfy now” Theda told him as he was ushered up the stairs by her and by Murnau, Theda undoing the tie Jamie wore as Murnau went ahead of them to a door at the end of a hallway, knocking on the door whilst Theda told him “It’s not gonna hurt. Too much”.

 

The door opens to a red, windowless room, one with sofas, mattresses and, though unseen from where Theda stood, a meal or two for the vampires, and Familias getting comfortable…

 

Rambova stands in the doorway, having changed into something more comfortable, a red nightgown that matched the room, wearing what was an absolutely penetrating stare upon her face as she beckons Jamie to come towards her, which he, in a trancelike state obeyed.

 

“You look delicious” Rambova said “So d’you”

 

Jamie said, a sly smile beneath his wide eyes

 

“Well then” she said, sounding almost flattered

 

“Then I think we’re gonna be good friends” she said sensually before the two of them shared a soft and gentle kiss her eyes and her lips leave Jamie to face Valentino, who had this look in his dark, enticing eyes, a jealous look “Somebody jealous?” she asked Valentino with an almost mocking, pouting look on her face as Rudolph remarked

 

“…And you wonder why my will only bequeaths you a singular dollar”.

 

Rambova is amused as they held Jamie close

 

“Feisty now, isn't he?” she said to Jamie as he whispered sweet, sweet nothings into her ear, Theda didn't quite hear what he said, but it brings out a bigger smile and a naughty look from Rambova before she leads him inside the red room, telling him to “Get comfortable”.

 

Murnau and Rudolph would follow Jamie into the room, Rambovas back against the frame of the doorway as they did so, her attention crawling to Theda, Max and Erik like a spider “You three ghouls coming?” her hips were starting to sway, almost gyrating as she said so, reminding Theda of a belly dancer or a snake in the middle of being charmed

 

“Oh not yet” Erik says casually “Maybe we’ll come in later”

 

“Oh, I can only hope” Rambova said as she bites her lip, giving him this look you could feel, the kind that made your collar burn red hot and start to smoke, as it tickles your nostrils, one intoxicatingly lustful, and hypnotic to many a human being, Natacha asking with this look

 

“When can I expect you three to join us?” Max answers “Never” whereas Erik and Theda said

 

“Just give us some time” to this, she giggled:

 

“Darlings… We’ve got all the time in the world” before the door closed, the sounds of them bitting into their meals and blood starting to gush would be heard as Theda, Max and Erik went down the stairs, the room would quickly devolve into a wild mess of blood and bodies.

 

Meanwhile down the stairs in a lavish and open living room, blood had started pouring its way through the cracks, softly and gently dripping its way through the ceiling above their heads, Max Schreck sits on a lavish, leather cushioned seat, listening to the radio as blood drips down to the back of his hand, to which he, in response moved the seat to the side a tad bit, out of the “Line of fire” whilst trying to block out the sounds coming from above his head “Sounds like someones having fun” Erik remarked, adding “Y’know lets put on some music”.

 

Undertaker's Blues start to play from the record player, the voice of the New York blues singer and fellow child of the night, Helen Gross gradually comes out, singing between mournfully and jollily

 

“Don't you hear the church bells, tollin’? Well, a triflin' man is dead” and about how her “Mama caught him out steamrollin’, shot that rascal through the head…” serenading

 

“Six pall bearers take him on his last go ‘round, six pall bearers take him on his last go ‘round… Gonna place him 'neath six feet of ground—” this loud moan or two from upstairs crept through the ceiling and the music played, Rambovas voice was among them.

 

“Somebodies having fun” Theda commented.

 

The funny thing about vampirism was how it could change a person emotionally and even mentally, how one minute you were a recluse, a coward, a prude and a saint, the next you are a traveller, you’re fearless, promiscuous and a sinner, one the saint wouldn't be proud of.

 

Though this didn't guarantee you’d become a free roaming, free loving free bird, Theda, Max and Erik were and on many an occasion, still remained what would be called “Wallflowers” something evident as the three quietly waited for Murnau to turn Jamie into one of them…

 

Across the room from one and other Theda and Erik exchanged looks “The hell am I doing?” Theda thinks to herself, feeling just a little bit ashamed by it, the temptation of that stranger, united only by the fact that he happened to have known the German whom had turned her, she heard of those stories from her encounters with much older vampires, how they had lived for so long that their enemies became lovers, then enemies again, then lovers again…

 

Personally, Theda did not want to believe in it.

 

She didn’t wish for this either, she would much rather have something just a little more stable, and she had a feeling that she wouldn't get it from Erik, a man clearly a philanderer, one who’d grow tired and restless, who would eventually leave her for another shiny lady…

 

Yet despite all of this, Theda continued to play

 

“It’s a wicked game” Theda thought to herself.

 

And a wicked game was still a game, still fun.

 

“Damn it” Schreck said in annoyance as more and more blood started to drip down from the ceiling like water from a shower head, some of it landing on his arm, though most would drip down from the centre on the ceiling down to the centre of the lavish living room floor.

 

Theda giggled softly as she allowed it to tickle her face and seep into her jet-black hair, enjoying every drip that landed on her lips or the base of her tongue

 

“You gotta try this Max” she said as the blood drips down her head like a baptism, gently streaming down her neck.

 

She’s almost dancing in that crimson shower.

 

As some small rivers of blood started to crawl their way down her dress, vibrantly staining her necklace and neck in red, and starting to vanish around her cleavage and go a lot more further, Theda could have sworn that she felt it coming down her pale and chalk white legs.

 

Even with her eyes closed she could feel Erik’s eyes locked on her like a shark on a swimmer

 

“I’d rather drink it in a more tidy fashion” Schreck told her, adding that he liked his new suit

 

“Oh, I’d happily join you” Erik told her, making his way behind right her, drinking the blood that drip from the ceiling, the two vampires experiencing a powerful high, an indescribable one that made their knees quake and their limbs go numb, their “Everything” went numb.

 

Theda remembers smiling as she allows the blood to enter her, as did Erik, who laughed, as the two of them swayed together in what was almost a dance, Theda starting to reconsider playing hard to get, whilst Erik was thinking “She could be more than a one night stand…”. Theda purred as she swayed up against them.

 

Maybe it was the blood that was streaming down into her system, or maybe it was even the “Colourful” plethora of sounds of which they heard coming down from that red room, almost as if all the walls were paper thin, those of a lustful Natacha and her intoxicating presence.

 

She could also hear the moans of dear Jamie.

 

The transforming Jamie, slowly transfiguring into one of them, one of the beautiful people.

 

Either way, Theda was starting to get awfully hot under the already low collar of her bloody dress, and the moment her and Erik looked at one and other, the two of them started feeling this burning sensation, the sensation to tear each other apart, rip into the others throats, and bathe in the blood the other would have viscously expelled like they were a damn fire hose; Only they wanted to do that in a sexual way instead of an

 

“I’m gonna kill you” sort of way…

 

So they’d head to the red, blood soaked room

 

“Okay, what the actual fuck did we just miss?”.

 

Theda and Erik took in the debauchery, in particular the naked young man by the name of Jamie, who seemed to have been in the centre of the scene, sprawled out over the bed with a pair of eyes which glowed blue like a morning sky, prominent bite marks all over his body.

 

Jamie also wore Rambova’s robe over his dick

 

“Looks like somebody had fun” Theda comments to Jamie, who sat himself up, his face wore blood, mainly around his lips, and he looked as if he had just had the best sex of their life with Murnau’s bite in particular most prominent upon the back of his pale and elegant neck

 

“So how do you feel?” she asked Jamie as he felt the bite mark on his neck

 

“…Never better” he said with a smile crawling across his face, before Rambova asked

 

“Ready for round two?”.