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Sakusa didn’t like the rain.
There were many reasons for this. One, it was usually freezing- the water like small pelts of ice to the skin. Two, it made everything damp. Soggy clothes weren’t fun, having wet hair dripping down the side of your face was unpleasant. Plus, the number of shoes the rain had ruined was unacceptable. Three, if it is said to rain it means he must be prepared- take a coat or umbrella- and that is an extra hassle he doesn’t need added to his list of things to do and remember.
Despite all these factors though, he finds himself traversing the streets at 2am, the early morning rain hammering down onto him.
He has no umbrella, no coat. Just a pair of shorts and a hoodie he had thrown on as quickly as possible, slipping on a pair of trainers at the door. Then, he was out into the darkness, not even the dawn sky was peeking over the horizon yet. All he had was the dimly lit lampposts to guide him. And, of course, he was so fucking cold.
Any logical person would point out that Sakusa was an idiot for doing this. He had voiced his hatred for rain, yet here he was. Severely underdressed for this weather, out and about at 2am when he should’ve been sleeping.
The important factor to mention though, was that he was looking for Atsumu.
That’s the main reason he’s out here, after having received a rather frantic text from Osamu. Him and Osamu have known each other long enough for Osamu to recognise that Sakusa rarely sleeps. So texting him was always a safe bet, especially if it was urgent and at 2 in the morning. What Sakusa understands is that Atsumu should’ve been home earlier, yet there had been no sign of him. Which at first, wasn’t worrying. Then time trudged on and hence the message Sakusa received, asking him if he knew where Atsumu was, or, could he help try and locate him.
Sakusa had a few ideas.
That’s why he was quick to disregard the weather, instead just heading out straight away. There were a few locations he had in mind, but there was one prominent place he wanted to check first. A park, nothing grand or special. It was obviously for kids yet in the dead of night it was a silent, a peaceful haven to sneak away to.
It wasn’t a park that stood out for any particular reason. A small patch of grass within the concrete jungle, perfectly caged in a metal fence, the rust hidden by streaks of red paint. There was a slide, a roundabout, a set of monkey bars and two sets of swings. Really, it was your run-of-the-mill park. Yet here he was, stood outside. 11:43pm, the roads quiet and the footpaths sparse.
“You’ve brought me to a park,” Sakusa points out, unamused.
“Well, it’s wonderful to hear that your sight works just fine,” Atsumu laughs as he opens the gate, it squeaks against its corroding hinges.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, sighing heavily, “why have you brought me to a park, it is almost midnight.”
“Because you messaged me saying you were stressed.” Atsumu responds nonchalantly, as if his words made perfect sense to Sakusa. As if this idea didn’t seem slightly insane.
It was true, they were having a conversation, both of them seemingly not being able to sleep. Recently, Sakusa had actually found enjoyment in Atsumu’s company. The cockiness was almost endearing and once you looked past the mask of arrogance he wasn’t so bad. Plus, he was persistent. Perhaps Sakusa found that annoying at first, but it did mean that Atsumu wouldn’t leave him alone. Ever. Hence why they’ve been able to have their late night conversations. Sakusa had mentioned he was feeling stressed, his mother was currently fighting off the flu and so he wouldn’t be able to visit her to check to see if she was okay. Practice was rather draining, competition season right around the corner. A plethora of piling reasons, there wasn’t one in particular that was taking up most of his mind, just little things building off of each other.
Then, several minutes later Atsumu is knocking at his front door and telling Sakusa to put some shoes on.
“Do you really think that going to a park is going to help?” He asks, following Atsumu. They end up on the park swings. Sakusa avoids touching the metal chain, instead he just finds purchase on the edge of one of the plastic swing seats.
Atsumu shrugs, gently rocks backwards and forwards, his shoes scuffing against the tarmac. “I don’t know, I find this place relaxing at night. Helps clear the mind.”
He realises that he’s been unnecessarily judgemental about this whole situation. As Atsumu starts to swing, not asking questions, he realises that this was simply a nice gesture. An attempt at distraction.
He huffs out a laugh. Who knew Atsumu could be thoughtful.
The park isn’t too far away from where he lives. It’s an easy route to get there, one he’s taken many times and knows it like the back of his hand.
“I never thought you would be a fan of stargazing,” Atsumu says, as he lays down the several blankets they’ve brought.
“I could say the same thing about you,” Sakusa retorts.
“Actually, I’ve never stargazed before.”
Sakusa stops unfolding the blanket in his hands. He blinks at Atsumu before saying, “and yet you agreed to join me tonight?”
“Obviously. You seemed excited about it and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you excited about anything before, so I had to come and give it a try.”
Atsumu is already sprawled out across the blankets, Sakusa still taken aback by the comment. He shakes his head endearingly, laying out his own blanket and settling down.
“So,” Atsumu says, “are you a nerd?”
“What is that even supposed to mean?”
“Well, do you do this stargazing stuff because you love looking at the stars and you know all the names behind every constellations?”
Sakusa scoffs, he doesn’t give an answer.
“I’m taking that as a yes,” Atsumu chuckles, “you are a nerd.”
“You’re simply jealous because I’m so much smarter than you.”
“Go on then, smart guy, tell me some facts.”
“You actually want to know?” Sakusa asks, then glances over at Atsumu, slightly unsure if the blond was being serious or not.
However, Atsumu turns to look at him, the night sky sparkling in his eyes. Glistening with curiosity. “Go on, I’m all ears.”
He makes his way round a bend, passing the convenience store on the corner. Then it’s past a row of houses, taking the next left turn. He can see familiar trees in the distance.
He cracks his eyes open and is met with the morning sky. Dawn just about reaching up into the sky, the sun rising past the houses that surround them. It’s chilly, a brisk wind in the air and dewdrops soaking into his clothes. He blinks, then stretches. Feels the grass shift underneath him.
He must’ve fallen asleep.
Quickly, he’s sat up, surveying his surroundings. It’s very unlike him- to fall asleep anywhere that wasn’t the safe confines of his own bedroom. Atsumu is sat cross-legged on the roundabout floor. He’s scrolling through his phone. Sakusa clears his throat, catching Atsumu’s attention.
“Oh, you’re awake!”
“You let me fall asleep,” Sakusa points out, frustration lacing his words.
“Only for a little while. If it makes you feel better- I also fell asleep. I woke up around 15 minutes ago.”
Sakusa sighs, relaxing his shoulders. There’s still fear running round his mind- the idea of sleeping here, of all places, horrifies him. Yet, when he’s not handling those thoughts alone, it doesn’t seem as bad as he initially thought.
“So, should we go?” Atsumu stands up, dusting away dirt from his trousers.
“Yeah,” Sakusa agrees, “I can do with a hot shower and a clean change of clothes.”
“Your place or mine?”
A beat. Then, “let’s go to mine this time.”
He’s well acquainted with this part of town, the park dimly lit underneath the lampposts. A squeak of a swing as it sways backwards and forwards in the wind. The sound of rain slamming into the metal roundabout. The grass is muddy, sloshing against his trainers as he opens the gate. The tarmac is shiny, Sakusa remembers a time where he almost slipped.
There, in the middle of the park, is Atsumu. He seems to be underdressed for the weather too. He’s got a hoodie on (one of Sakusa’s hoodies, he realises. He’ll have to wash that later) some joggers and a pair of trainers. Not ideal for the weather. As he approaches, Sakusa makes an effort to take heavy steps. So Atsumu can hear someone walking up behind him, though Sakusa doubts he even has to introduce himself.
“Your brother told me you hadn’t gotten home yet,” he calls out, his voice slowly being drowned out by the thundering rain.
Atsumu doesn’t turn to look at him. His face is upturned, eyes closed against the cold droplets, “how did you know where to find me?”
“It was just a hunch.”
“A pretty good hunch, I’d say,” Atsumu laughs tiredly, then finally stops looking up- spits the rainwater out his mouth.
“You ready to go home?” Sakusa asks. What he doesn’t ask is why are you here or what’s wrong because he isn’t one to pry. Plus, Atsumu isn’t one to give up that type of information. He’s gotten to know him decently well, has seen how he builds up his perfectly pristine walls so no one assumes anything. But he’s also seen through the tiniest cracks in those walls, has see the man underneath who is just as vulnerable and insecure as everyone else. Who is motivated by validation- in fact, he craves it and chases after it. Needs it to feel wanted, to feel appreciated, or his life will start falling apart and his self worth will balance on the edge of a cliff. One bad move and it’s bound to go tumbling off the side, slamming into the jagged rocks.
“Give me a moment.” Atsumu responds.
“Alright.”
They stand there, as the minutes pass by. Rain soaked, droplets running down the sides of his face. Shoes carrying small puddles, his breath coming out in heated puffs against the brisk air. He waits patiently, doesn’t think about how cold or dirty he is, instead just watches Atsumu stand perfectly still. The only movement to him being a slight shiver. As he waits, he pulls out his phone and sends Osamu a quick text, letting him know that Atsumu is fine. Then he slips it back into his pocket.
Atsumu turns, smiles sadly at Sakusa. Under the dimming lights he can just about see that his eyes are bloodshot, his tears washed away by the rain. “Okay, I think we should go now.”
Sakusa nods, holds open the gate for Atsumu. Then they’re on their way back, the rain yet to slow down. Automatically they head towards his place, it’s the closet one out of the two of them, so it makes sense. He tosses his keys to the side table, leaves his sopping wet shoes at the door.
“Ah, sorry,” Atsumu calls out, “I’m bringing such a mess into your apartment.”
He waves a hand nonchalantly, “nonsense, I can clean it up. Do you want to have a shower first or shall I?”
Atsumu blinks at him. “I don’t have any spare clothes.”
“I know that, idiot. You can borrow some of mine, I’m not having you get a cold from standing in the freezing rain for who-knows-how-long.”
Atsumu is now blushing, he awkwardly fiddles with the sleeve of his hoodies, “you’re too kind, Omi-Omi. I’ll take the first shower.”
An hour later, they’re in his living room, Sakusa wrapped in a blanket, the heating on. Atsumu is wearing a pair of his pajama bottoms, a thick hoodie too. It suits him, Sakusa quietly thinks to himself. Plus, he looks more comfortable like this, no longer drenched and shivering.
They settle on his couch, Sakusa wordlessly opens his blanket and Atsumu curls up beside him. Sakusa is first to break the silence, “what were you doing out there?”
Atsumu shrugs, “had to get out for a bit, plus walking in the rain was nice. I didn’t mean to stay out for so long though.”
“You had a lot on your mind?”
“Yeah, I just needed to think.”
“About?” Sakusa prompts.
“Actually, I was quite literally thinking about nothing,” Atsumu huffs out a laugh, “it was as if the rain washed away everything, it was surprisingly pleasant.”
Sakusa hums, he doesn’t prod anymore. Instead, he pulls Atsumu closer to him, lets the damp blond hair rest in the crook of his neck. He flicks on his tv, plays a channel that neither of them are really interested in watching. It’s just background noise to fill in the silence, a gentle hum of quiet voices and static.
Soon enough, Atsumu is snoring, eyes closed, a warmth flushed across his cheeks. Sakusa doesn’t take long to follow suit, drifting off surrounded by a layer of comfort.