Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Donatello lay on their plastron, their soft shell still healing and wrapped in bandages.

They were so very bored.

They had completed all their recent projects, rebuilt the lair far quicker than anyone wished they would, and had updated the medical system to deal with more complex injuries. They couldn't sleep; the still present feeling of cold, wet tentacles on their shell made damn sure of that.

With a heavy sigh, they got up, pulling on their signature purple hoodie, shuddering slightly at the feeling of the fabric on their unprotected shell. They figured that if they couldn't sleep or do anything else, then they would check on their brothers.

Unsurprisingly, Leo was awake, lounging on a beanbag with his phone held close to his face. The slider smiled when he noticed his twin.

"Donnie! What are you doing up, hermana?" Donnie smiled back, raising a sharpie eyebrow at their twin.

" 'Hermana'? That's a new one." They walked over to Leo, the slider grinning at the soft-shell.

"Yeah, I just wanted to try something new, d'you like it?" Donnie nodded at their younger twin.

"I do," Donnie's tone and expression then shifted to something like concern. "Why are you out of bed? You should still be resting." Leo just continued to smile.

"C'mon, Dontron, you should know by now. Insomnia's a common trait in this crazy family." Donnie just sighed, glancing at the sling cradling Leo's left arm.

"Do you want me to get you a sedative or something? You really should be resting."

"I'll be fine, hermana! Just gotta tire myself out a little then I'll be todo bien!" Donnie furrowed their brows slightly, concern still etched into their face.

"I'm going to check on Raph and Mikey. I'll be coming back through here when I'm done. I expect you to be back in bed by then." Leo laughed a little, turning back to whatever was on his phone.

"Pfft... Yes ma'am." Donnie just rubbed their temples and walked out of the room, heading to Raph's room.

Donnie knocked on the door to Raph's room gently, hearing a quiet growl before the door opened. Raphael looked down at his sibling, a patch over his right eye.

"Somethin' wrong, Don?" Donnie just shook their head.

"No, everything's fine, I was just wondering how you're doing?" Raph smiled at the soft-shell, but Donnie could see the exhaustion in their older brother's uncovered eye.

"Raph's fine, Dee. Just a little tired's all." Donnie could see through their brothers lie but chose not to say anything, if Raph wanted to talk, then Donnie would definitely be around to talk later.

Mikey's room was next, some quiet music playing inside. Donatello walked into their youngest brother's room, the box turtle sat on the floor sketching on a canvas with a blank expression. His deep blue eyes lit up when he saw his soft-shelled sibling.

"Donnie! Hi! How're you feeling?" His smile was so bright that it almost blinded Donnie, but they knew it was a façade as they sat down on the floor in front of their little brother.

"I'm fine, Angelo. I was actually wondering how you're doing?" Mikey smiled innocently but Donnie could see their little brother's hand tightly grip his pencil, light tremors shaking his hands.

"I'm fine, Dee. No need to worry about me." Was Donnie going crazy or was everyone lying to them today? Nonetheless, Donnie sighed lightly and leaned forward to look at the canvas Mikey was working on.

"What are you drawing?" Mikey tilted the canvas away from his older sibling, but they still caught a glimpse of the curling tentacles that they knew far too well.

"Nothing! Just a little thing I started doing for no reason." Donnie wanted to grovel on the ground and beg for Mikey not to lie to them, but they would never dare try to pressure Mikey into anything.

"Hm... Okay. Do you need anything? Want me to tighten your gloves for you?" Donnie gestured to the deep purple compression gloves that extended up to Mikey's biceps.

The box turtle just held his arms out in front of him and smiled.

"Nope! All good!"

"Angie, you're shaking..."

"I said I'm good, Don." The slightly firm tone in Mikey's voice surprised Donnie a little, but they would honestly rather die than face their little brother's wrath.

"Sigh, alright, Miguel... Please do tell me if you need anything, though." Mikey just looked back to his canvas, nodding.

"Yeah yeah, I will. Don't worry." Donnie was a little less than convinced, but still got up and left the room, heading back to their own quarters.

The main living area where Leo had been was now empty, the slider most likely having retreated to his train car to continue not sleeping. Just as Donnie was walking past the couch, a beep sounded from their gauntlet. There was a perimeter breech, just above the surface. They groaned slightly, figuring that it was once again some lousy Foot ninjas or Warren and his definitely-not-boyfriend, Hypno, coming to cause chaos.

Donnie took off their hoodie and summoned their battleshell, not bothering to notify their brothers since this would only be a quick confrontation.

As they arrived at the alley where the perimeter breech had been signalled, they were greeted by nothing but emptiness, not even a pigeon or rat scuttling among the trash. But instincts to tend to be a blessing in times like these.

Donnie readied their tech-bo, prepared for a flurry of white doves or a random attack, but nothing came.

A sudden sharp prick in their neck made Donnie reach up a hand to grasp something, their hand closing around cold metal.

It stung a little when they pulled it out, their head feeling a little light. It took them a few seconds to actually register what it was.

A tranquilizer dart. It was a tranquilizer dart.

Donnie quickly turned around to see four people dressed in black military clothes. They could feel their mind slipping away from them and their balance started to wane. Their vision swam and their eyelids felt heavy, a single word leaving their lips before they fell.

"Fuck..."

Chapter Text

Donatello groaned as they felt their senses slowly come back. It felt like someone had scrubbed the floor with their shell and-

Where the fuck was their battleshell?

Wherever they were was cold and hard and threatening. Donnie shivered slightly at the feeling of a hand on their shell.

"Ah, you're awake." Donnie whipped their head around and hissed. The man standing before them grinned cruelly. "Well isn't that a fun little noise? Is this some kind of turtle intimidation tactic? Interesting... Now," The man stepped away from Donnie, sitting in a chair across from the soft-shell. "How about you tell me exactly what you are?"

"Your worst fucking nightmare if you don't let me out of here." Their voice was a low growl and it only made the man's smile wider, something like mirth etched into his olive features.

"My worst nightmare? Really? And how do you plan to do that? You're a little tied up at the moment, if you haven't already noticed." Donnie had, in fact, noticed the rope around their wrists and chest (when had their plastron cover been removed?), their arms pulled behind their back, and they growled at the pun.

"Where am I?" The man smiled and crossed his legs as he sat in the chair opposite Donnie.

"The Earth Protection Force base in New York City. Or, the EPF for short. Now, I don't recall you answering my question. What are you? If you answer me now then it'll save time during your examination."

"Examination?"

"Yes. You see, we really are interested in what you are. You're one of those things that stopped the alien invasion a few months ago, aren't you? The government is very interested in you~" Donnie's eyes narrowed and they suddenly realized that they had been stripped of their mask.

"Interested, how?" The man rested his chin on the back of his hand, his elbow on his knee.

"You're an intelligent life form, aren't you? Surely you should know how much the government loves weapons of mass destruction. And you seem to be the perfect candidate to be a part of this little project of ours." Donnie raised an eye ridge at their captor.

"You want me to build weapons for the government?"

"Oh, no no no, you misunderstand. You are the weapon. Or, part of it, at least," His grin was so cruel it made Donnie want to throw up. "Now please, tell me what you are. I'm getting bored of this back and forth."

"I'm a mutant turtle."

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that."

"Fine. I'm a mutant spiny soft-shell turtle. Is that specific enough for you?"

The man grinned and stood from his chair.

"Quite~"

There was a prick of pain in the back of Donnie's neck and they almost immediately knew what it was. This agency really liked sedatives, huh?

As they felt their eyes grow heavy and their mind go blank, a hand grabbed their jaw, yanking their face.

"I think I like you better when you're sedated... I'll be sure to keep you this way..~"

As their last remaining seconds of consciousness were passing, a golden glint caught Donnie's eyes. They glanced down, seeing a name tag pinned to the collar of the man's blazer. They just about registered what it read before they passed out.

J. Bishop.

Chapter Text

Donatello was getting tired of waking up in cold rooms.

They were strapped down, metal around their wrists and ankles. They felt exposed, naked, their legs spread on a metal table like some damn lab experiment.

Talking. Someone was talking. Not Bishop, someone else. Donnie turned their head, their mind hazy as they stared at the person talking.

"-... subject seems to be intersex, the most prominent sex being male, around 16 years old. They appear to be mutant, but have some kind of Yokai-magic signature. There's significant amounts of scar-tissue on their shell in tentacle-like patterns, damage caused most likely in the last four or five months. Brain scans suggest they are autistic or some form of neurodivergent. The tech they were found with is... far more advanced than anything human or Yokai-made."

Whoever they were, they didn't smell human, which greatly confused Donnie because the man standing with his back turned to them looked perfectly normal.

"What... are you..?" The man turned, almost electric-green eyes met with Donnie's. He didn't seem to be surprised that they were awake, he just set something down on a desk before walking up to Donnie. His eyes weren't cruel like Bishop's. Just... blank.

"I'm not permitted to disclose that with you, unfortunately. Though I am interested into what you are. You're different from other mutants." His voice was blank like his eyes and Donnie felt their mind slowly coming back as they registered what the man was.

"You're Yokai... aren't you..?" That seemed to surprise the man a little, his eyebrows raising slightly.

"I am. But that's not what you should be interested in right now. You're confused and delirious, I know that feeling well enough, but I assure you, I'm not going to hurt you. I'd appreciate it if you stayed calm." The man produced a syringe from his pocket and Donnie immediately started to panic, instincts finally waking up.

"What are you going to do to me?" They pulled at their restraints, their wrists aching from the strain. The man put a hand on Donnie's plastron and they let out an involuntary hiss.

"Relax. I know it may seem hard but please, this will be easier for both of us if you just relax." Donnie started to breathe shallowly, when had the air disappeared from the room? Panic made them shake and they couldn't breathe anymore, tears pricking at the corner of their eyes.

Donatello, please.

The voice in their head made them gasp and shudder.

My name is Kai. Please stay calm. I can't help you if you're not calm.

They were still breathing shakily, the hand on their plastron still present, green eyes still staring. And yet the room wasn't as cold.

Donnie's breathing eventually steadied, tears drying on their cheeks.

Then a sharp needle pressed to their bicep and they hissed.

It's okay. Stay calm.

Blood was taken from Donnie's arm and gathered in the syringe.

You're okay. Relax.

It was over soon enough, four syringes had been filled, and Kai could practically see the thoughts in Donatello's head. Frantic thoughts about where they were, how they would get out, if their brothers were coming for them. They didn't understand what was going on, their mind and body disoriented by the repeated sedation from Bishop and his men.

Kai hated that man.

"H-help me..." The tiny, whimpering voice brought his attention back to the softshell before him.

He couldn't show too much feeling, if he did then Bishop would know, there were cameras in the room, but the urge to comfort this mutant, this child, was almost too strong.

Not yet. But you'll be okay. Just stay patient. Stay calm. I'll help you soon. I promise.

A door opened and the room was cold again, Kai's hand now absent from Donnie's chest.

"Is it awake now, Doctor?" Donnie twitched slightly at Bishop's voice.

"They are. I've taken blood samples. You need to lower the dosage of the sedatives you're using on them. It'll damage their mind if you don't." Kai's voice was blank again, his warm voice gone from Donnie's mind.

Bishop just chuckled slightly.

"We don't need it's mind," Kai's hands clenched at his sides. "It's only here for one use. It'll be useless after that."

"It has a name and isn't a damn object." Donnie finally spoke up and Kai shot a sharp glance in their direction.

Don't.

"Really? Interesting. I don't care." Bishop walked over to Donnie, grabbing them by the jaw, pushing their head back and exposing their throat when they bared their teeth at him.

Don't fight him, Donatello.

"You've got an awful lot of fight in you for something that's just woken up from a sedative strong enough to drop an elephant. I wonder why that is..." Donnie shivered at his tone of voice.

Stay calm. Don't let him get to you.

"I'll be sure to have more tests done. I want to see exactly how much you can take..~" He let go of Donnie's jaw, the softshell growling at him. Bishop looked amused at the sound, but he ignored it, instead turning to Kai. "Release it and sedate it but keep it conscious. I want to personally escort it."

Donnie saw Kai's jaw clench slightly, subtle and barely noticeable but still there. He took something from the desk and Donnie tried not to flinch as a needle was pressed to their neck.

I'm sorry...

Their mind went a little hazy but they didn't pass out like before. Donnie's wrists and ankles were released and they were pushed into a sitting position before being nudged off of the table, Kai's hands warm against their shoulders.

Where were they going? They didn't know. Their head hurt. Bishop was in front of them, leading them through cold hallways. White walls turned to bars. There were Yokai. And mutants.

And children.

Donatello couldn't do anything but blindly follow Bishop. He was saying something, saying something in a cruel voice. Donnie didn't register his words.

They were lead to a cell and pushed inside. They didn't know if it was Bishop, someone else, or even themself that made them stumble into the cell, but the door made a heavy clang that startled the softshell enough to know what was going on.

But they still couldn't speak. They just whined pitifully on the floor, the chill of the cell too much for their cold-blooded body. They heard Bishop laugh and sneer something at them, something about marks and tattoos. They barely registered it. They just wanted this to end.

Chapter Text

A sudden sharp twinge in the back of his neck made Leonardo shudder unexpectedly. He reached a hand up and rubbed his neck, figuring it was probably just his body fucking with him. But then the sudden sensation that something was terribly, horribly, wrong filled him.

Leo stood from his bed, tucking his crutch under his not-broken arm as he began to walk out of his room, squinting in the low light of the lair.

Nothing seemed out of place, nothing obvious at least. Donnie's hoodie was laying over the back of the couch, bit weird seeming as the softshell barely went anywhere around the lair without their hoodie. Leo picked it up and-

Okay, now he had reason to be worried.

The hoodie had some weight to it, that weight being Donnie's phone. The phone that they carried everywhere. The phone that they basically couldn't survive without.

"Raph, Raphael, Raphala, Raphie, Big Boy, open the door. Open up, big guy. Raph-" Raphael opened his door and glared down at Leo, he had just managed to fall asleep when Leo started knocking on his door.

"What?"

"Donnie's gone!"

"... What?" The panic in Leonardo's eyes was starting to seep into Raphael.

"They're gone! They're not in their room or their lab or anywhere! They left their phone!"

"Did you check their tracker? They do have one, right?" Raph stepped out of his room, starting to walk to Donnie's lab, Leo close behind.

"I haven't checked yet but-but they're okay, right? They've gotta be okay, right? They wouldn't just- they wouldn't just leave right?"

The doors to Donnie's lab hissed open and the snapper and slider stepped inside. In the centre of the room, on a large purple screen, was a warning message.

WARNING: 0hrs OF ACTIVITY IN LAST 3 HOURS. SUBCUTANEOUS TRACKER ACTIVATED. TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION.

Cold horror filled the two of them and blue eyes met a green one.

"Stay here. I'm gettin' Mikey."

"What? No, let me go with you! I can help!" Raph shot a glare at his younger brother.

"You stay here while Raph goes out with Mikey to look for Don. You need to stay back in case this is just a false alarm. I am not lettin' you get hurt if this is serious." Raph practically growled at his brother and Leo grit his teeth.

"Fine."

Raph left the room to find Mikey and Leo just stood there, seething. Not at Donnie. Not at Raph. He was angry at himself. Angry for being injured. Angry for being out of commission for months. His twin needed him and where was he? Stuck at home with a broken arm and leg, fractured ribs, and a cracked carapace.

"FUCK!" Rage boiled up inside of him and he threw his crutch, falling and landing hard on his knee. Leo hissed, hissed at himself, hissed at the pain that shot up from his knee to his spine, hissed at the shadow that darkened the doorway of his twin's lab.

"Leonardo?"

"What do you want, Draxum?" The Yokai crouched down beside his experiment-turned-son, hesitating before placing a hand on the slider's shoulder.

"Donatello isn't here."

"Oh wow, how observant of you..." The bitter sarcasm was clear in Leo's voice.

"Is there... any way I could help?" Draxum was... trying. Leo knew that. But he was too angry at himself to properly respond to his creator.

"Unless you have some kind of mystic-bullshit way to find Donnie, then no, there's not much you can do."

"Is there any way I can help you?" Leo was quiet for a second before he reached for his crutch, leaning on Draxum's shoulder as he stood, the Yokai letting his son lean on him.

"No."

Chapter Text

No.

No no no no no, this wasn't right. They were here, they were right here. Mikey could feel them, could feel his sibling's spirit, their ninpo.

So why was there nothing here?!

Michelangelo stood beside Raphael in the empty lot, shaking. Raph put a hand on Mikey's shoulder.

"Mikey, they... They're not here."

"Shut up." Mikey just continued to focus his ninpo, desperately trying to find a way to get a clearer location of his sibling, but nothing worked. Small gold shards started to break away from his arms and Raph grabbed his little brother's wrists, snapping him out of his search.

Mikey growled at his brother and the glare that he received from the snapper was full of concern.

"Donnie. Is not. Here."

"THEN WHERE ARE THEY?!" Mikey's entire body shook, his hands trembling in his brother's hold. "I can feel them, Raph! But they aren't- where-" A sob tore from Mikey's throat and he leaned into his big brother's chest, Raph's arms wrapping around him as the snapper quietly shed his own tears.

Mikey continued to search, even as Raph held him, even as he cried, he continued to follow that string of purple he saw in his mind. He traced his hand along it, curling it between his fingers as he followed.

A sudden flash of neon green made him stop, a voice invading his mind.

Stop. Not yet. Wait. Be patient. You can't be here now.

Mikey gasped and pulled away from Raph, shaking slightly as he stared down at his hands, trying to figure out what just happened.

Raph placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder again and the box turtle looked up at the snapper, confusion and concern clear on his face.

"Someone's with them," Mikey's voice was quiet, shaking slightly. "I-I don't know who but someone is there with Donnie. A-and they're safe? Maybe? I-I don't know but someone is there." Raph looked back at his brother with just as much confusion.

"Are you sure?"

"Y-yeah, I think so. We... we need to find a different way to go about this. Spending hours looking isn't helping." Raph nodded slightly, handing Mikey's compression gloves to him and helping him tighten them.

Whatever Mikey had seen during his search had been good, he knew that. Whatever energy or being that was there beside his sibling's ninpo was strong and protecting; some kind of Yokai. Whatever- whoever it had been, Mikey trusted them. There was a kind of urgency when he found them, like they were protecting more than just Donatello, like they were protecting Mikey and Raph from some unseen threat.

Whoever they were, Mikey prayed that they had a plan.

Chapter Text

Kai was tired.

How many times had he done this before? How many families had he turned away when they came looking for their missing sibling or parent or child? How many times had he created illusions to hide this damned facility? How many times had he passed out after creating an illusion real enough to fool a dog? He didn't know. He just knew he was tired. 

That mutant, that child, who had come looking for Donatello, he had gotten too close. Too close to being found by Bishop. Kai had to turn him away, he would never have been able to help Donnie if their brothers had gotten caught as well. He had to help Donnie. That was his job. His duty. He owed that child his life and he would do anything to protect them. Even if that meant turning away their own brothers when they came looking.

The door to his lab opened and he turned, seeing Bishop standing by the door, a guard holding a very knocked out Donatello under his arm. Kai tried to ignore the faint smell of blood that lingered around the softshell. Bishop grinned at the doctor.

"Doctor Ichigo! Glad to see you're doing well. Have you prepared the things I asked you to?" More like demanded.. Kai thought to himself as he nodded in response to Bishop's question. He watched as Bishop stepped to the side, allowing the guard carrying Donnie into the room, watched as the guard somewhat carelessly dropped the softshell onto the metal table. Kai just barely managed to supress a grimace. He hated when living beings were treated like nothing more than objects, and that seemed to be something that was embedded into the very fibre of Bishop's being. A God-complex and some kind of thing for dehumanization. How utterly perfect.

Kai almost laughed at the sarcasm within his own thoughts.

"You remember which number this one is, yes?" Bishop was standing next to Kai now, the man a few inches shorter than the Yokai.

"I do." Bishop smiled and pat Kai hard on the back, the contact making Kai growl.

"Good! I'll be leaving now, but be sure to run those sedative tests on this one. I'd rather it be obedient instead of acting on instinct and killing another one of my men." So that's why Donnie smelled like blood. Kai felt more sorry for the mutant than he did for the soul of whatever bastard decided to press a drugged-up softshell.

"I will, Agent Bishop." Kai turned to his desk as Bishop and his guard left the room.

He always hated this part of the process. Hated the drone of the gun and the smell of the ink and the way he had to etch a permanent reminder of this hell into the skin of his patient.

A quiet, distressed chirp made Kai turn his head slightly, seeing Donnie starting to squirm on the cold metal table, their eyes just starting to open. He walked over to them, the tattoo gun in his hand almost forgotten as he placed a hand on the turtle's shoulder. To the cameras, it would look like Kai was holding them down, but to the softshell it was a gesture that made the room just a little bit warmer.

Kai saw the way that Donnie's pupils were blown wide from the sedative, and there was dried blood around their mouth and jaw, some even on their neck. They were breathing heavily, their mind busy with thoughts of what they had just done, who they had just killed. Kai did his best to sooth them.

Don't worry. It wasn't your fault.

"I killed him... I killed him..."

He had it coming. Please relax and don't speak. You need to stay very still otherwise this will hurt.

Donatello stayed still to the best of their ability, but the sudden whirring of the gun made them jump and start to panic again. Kai grit his teeth as he held Donnie's jaw, pushing their head back and exposing their throat, almost completely letting go when the softshell whimpered and let out a quiet sob.

It'll be over soon, Donnie. Just stay still.

The sensation of tiny needles on their throat made Donnie jolt and thrash, their wrists starting to bruise where they were restrained. Kai continued to hold their head back, trying not to let tears bloom in his eyes at the way they cried. He almost stopped altogether when Donnie practically screamed as Kai worked the gun over their Adam's apple. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't. He took the gun away from Donnie's neck for a second, wiping the blood and ink from their throat as he searched their mind for something, anything, he could conjure into a comforting illusion.

Eventually, he found something. A superhero movie. A sleeping twin tucked close to their side. Two brothers; one large with warm, gentle arms, the other small with a bright, innocent smile. He let them bask in the illusion, let them see and smell and touch. When their tense body finally relaxed, Kai brought the tattoo gun to Donnie's neck again, doing his best to nullify their pain by increasing the intensity of the illusion, relief passing over him when he finally finished. 

Only for the tension to come right back when he looked at the black numbers scrawled across emerald skin. He always tried to keep the lines straight and the curves neat, but he hated having to permanently etch numbers into the skin of innocent people. It made him feel sick, dirty, reducing people down to numbers. Reducing Gods down to dirt.

Kai placed the gun down on his desk before grabbing the ointment he always kept close by. He scooped some of the viscous compound out with his fingers before rubbing it over Donnie's neck, feeling them shiver and hearing them whimper slightly from the pulsing pain.

"Wh... why..?" Their voice was so cracked and weak from the pain and the crying and it made Kai want to beg at their feet for forgiveness.

"I had to."

I'm so sorry, Donatello.

Donnie's eyes shifted to Kai's, glazed over viridescent and brown meeting clear neon green. And suddenly they looked so, so small. Kai dug his nails into his palms to stop himself from breaking down. How many people had looked at him like that? How many people had looked at him, dazed from pain and the after-effects of an illusion? 

He didn't know.

But he owed this child his life and he would do anything to protect them. Even permanently mar their skin to continue to play a role he never wanted.

Chapter Text

Donatello shivered, a hand pressed to their neck, to the tender skin of their tattoo. They'd expected their first tattoo to be something cool, something symbolic or meaningful, not four numbers that made them a property of this cruel company. 

How long had they been awake? How long had it been since they were captured? An hour? A day? A week? They didn't know. They had been sedated what, three times now? Not counting that lower dose Kai gave them before they were lead to their cell. 

Kai...

What was he doing here? What even was he? He was Yokai, but he appeared human. Did he have a number tattoo as well? Was he a prisoner before or did he always work for the EPF? 

Donnie's head hurt from thinking too hard. The cell was cold but Donnie was so, so tired. Their eyes felt heavy, tired for the first time without the prompt of a sedative. Maybe they could rest... Just for a little while...

Their dreams were vibrant and detailed. Glowing, blue-ish-pink tentacles curling around their shell, their arms, their thighs. Purple fire set ten centuries ago. A small, black fox with vibrant, green eyes.

A sudden clattering sound had them waking with a gasp and they sat up quickly, seeing Bishop standing just outside their cell, that cruel grin ever-present.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, 17-10." So those were their new numbers. How fucking brilliant.

Donatello's eyes drifted to the tin bowl that had been kicked into their cell. A tin dog bowl. With actual dogfood in it.

"What is this..?" Clearly their disgust was clear because Bishop grinned wider, brown eyes shining in amusement.

"Come now, 17-10, don't be ungrateful. There are others here that would gladly eat this."

"Then give it to them. And my name is Donatello." Bishop sneered at him.

"Not anymore~"

Bishop stayed for a little while, as if he was waiting for Donnie to eat. They just glared at him.

"I'm not eating."

"I can see that."

"Let me rephrase that, I won't eat."

"Oh, I'm aware of that, I just simply don't care. I know what the consequences will be if you don't start eating within the next three days. And I will gladly sit and watch." Donnie growled at the man before them.

"You're sick."

"And you're an animal. Now, you can either eat this now, or it can be thrown down a funnel that will be shoved down your throat and into your stomach in three days time. I'll let you take you pick~" Donatello hissed at him as he walked away. They were losing themself, they knew that. With each sedation, they lost more and more of their mind, more and more of their memories deteriorating, slowly acting more on instinct than rational thought. The could almost feel their mind degrading, their brothers' faces slowly getting more and more blurred within their memory.

They figured it wouldn't be too long until they forgot their brothers' names.

Donnie needed some kind of permanent reminder, like the tattoo on their neck. Needed something easy but irreversible. 

Their gaze was drawn to their own wrist, the skin there thin and easy to tear.

Oh the ass whooping they would get if Doctor Delicate Touch was here.

Donnie pressed the sharp claw of their thumb to their wrist. They took a breath. And started to tear.

'L' was the letter they started with, their hands starting to shake slightly as they cut into their skin with their own claw. A voice in their mind begged, pleaded, for them to stop, but they ignored him. They finished the letter and bit their lip to suppress a hiss before dragging their tongue over the cut, cleaning away the blood as best they could before moving onto the next letter.

'M' was slightly harder. Where 'L' was one line (well technically two but no one will notice that tiny gap between the two cuts), 'M' was at least two. A low growl was pushed from Donnie's throat as they grit their teeth, the taste of their own blood on their tongue not an unfamiliar one, but still one that caused slight panic or some kind of instinctual reaction.

'R' is where it really started to hurt. Tears beaded in their eyes as they cut the curve into their flesh. The combined pain of the previous cuts seemed to be amplified, as if the strength of Donnie's red-clad brother had pulled through to strengthen the pain. Their thumb- no, their entire right hand dripped with blood as they squeezed their left wrist, hissing as they clenched their eyes shut, tears dripping from their cheeks.

It hurt. It all. Hurt. 

But they couldn't forget. They wouldn't let themself forget their brothers' names. They refused. They refused. 

Leonardo. Michelangelo. Raphael.

Leon. Miguel. Raphala.

Nardo. Angelo. Raphie.

Leo. Mikey. Raph.

Don't worry. I won't let you forget them.

How was his voice so warm in such a cold place like this...

I'll keep their memory alive for you. I promise.

They were so tired... 

Please rest.

Sleep was safe and warm, so different from this evil compound...

I'll be there soon. Just rest, child.

Donatello wanted to go home... They wanted to go home...

Chapter Text

They were moving. Where? Where are they going? Someone's carrying them. Someone warm. Black fur and green eyes. Their face is wet. Were they crying? Why did their arm hurt so much?
They were cold again. No no no where did the warmth go? Come back, please come back.

I'm here. Don't worry.

A warm hand on their wrist, so gentle and careful.

A sharp prick of a needle next to a tender cut.

"No!" Donatello's eyes shot open and they jolted, yanking their wrist out of Kai's grasp, holding their left arm close to their chest. "No! I need to remember!"

Donatello-
"Please. You'll get an infection if I don't stitch it." Donnie hissed at him, their third eyelids lowered, irises hidden. They almost fell off the metal table as they shuffled away from the Yokai when he reached a hand forwards.

"No! I need it to scar! I need to remember!"

"There are other ways to do that, please just let me stitch it."

"NO!"

Kai suddenly lunged forwards with a speed that almost scared Donnie. He pinned their right hand above their head on the metal table, not even flinching when Donnie kicked their legs at him, their feet connecting with his stomach and his thigh multiple times. They hissed and growled at him, only to be silenced by a deep, rumbling snarl. Donnie stilled when Kai bared his sharp teeth at them, the sudden aggression sparking slight fear in them. 

When they stopped their struggle, Kai sat up, holding Donnie's left wrist in his hand, still so gentle despite his unexpected burst of hostility. Donnie's breath hitched a little, tears rising in their eyes, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt.

"I'm sorry..."

Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for.

Kai pressed the needle to Donnie's wrist again and this time they didn't jolt away. He glanced at Donnie as he stitched, searching for pain, but all he saw was guilt, so much guilt. It hurt him to look at Donnie, the teenager, the kid in front of him, when they looked so apologetic and scared. So help him God, he was going to save this child.

Donnie's mind still reeled. Kai had snarled at them, bared his teeth like he was going to bite them. They had pushed him to do that. They had pushed him to growl like an animal. This was their fault-

This isn't your fault. I let instinct get the better of me. Don't blame yourself for my actions. 

Donnie tipped their head back and covered their eyes with their right hand, rubbing away their tears as they formed. They weren't crying from the physical pain of having their self-inflicted wounds stitched, no they were crying because they couldn't do this anymore. They didn't want to lose any more of their memory, they didn't want to lose their mind and resort to an animal-like state. They wanted it all to end. Kai should've torn my throat out when he had the chance-

Stop. If you give up now then you let Bishop win. I'll make sure you remember your family. I'll keep you sane. You're not a burden, and if you are then you're a burden I'd rather die than give up. I refuse to let a child like you fall in a place like this. I won't allow it.

That just made Donnie cry harder, their chest heaving with the force of their sobs as Kai finished the last stitch on their arm. He conjured a quick illusion for the cameras, stopping them from capturing the image of Kai pulling Donnie into his arms, holding them as they sobbed and screamed into his chest. He held them, speaking soft words into their mind, letting them grip and practically claw at his back as they cried. Donatello's cries were filled with so much pain, making tears form in Kai's eyes as he clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, holding Donnie slightly tighter.

He was going to protect this child with everything he had. Or die trying.

Chapter Text

Donnie could still feel Kai's arms around them, his warm embrace lingering even in the chill of their cell. He had rubbed their shell so gently, mimicking the way Donnie's brothers and father had comforted them, studying their memories and learning the best way to help them. Donatello didn't know what Kai was, but they knew he was powerful. They had heard of Yokai that could read minds, but none that could pull physical memories from someone's head, none that could turn those memories into powerful illusions that seemed almost too real. But Kai was the only comfort Donnie had in this hellscape of a facility and they intended to keep that comfort for as long as possible, not wanting to question Kai out of fear that he'll pull back and abandon them. They couldn't lose him. Not yet. He promised to help them, keep them sane and preserve their memories. Kai was their only hope.

It was obvious by now that their brothers weren't coming for them and even though it made them want to tear out their lungs and scream, they knew that it was best that they didn't come. Kai had reassured them that he would make sure their brothers were never a part of this and Donnie trusted him. Donnie didn't know what they would do if their brothers got trapped in this awful place. They would never forgive themself if even one of their brothers ended up captured, let alone all three.

Then their thoughts drifted back to Kai. If Donnie didn't know any better, they'd think they were in love with him. But they knew they weren't based on the fact that, A: Donnie had realized by now that a list of sensations provided by Google was not a reliable way to figure out if you loved someone romantically, and B: Kai was older than them by at least ten years, give or take.

I am a lot older than twenty-six, but I'll take that as a compliment.

The humour in Kai's voice was much appreciated by Donnie, but they were still slightly confused by Kai's age.

I'll explain everything eventually, I promise. Now, you should eat. Bishop will be there soon.

Donnie sighed slightly, glaring at the tin bowl in front of them. They wanted to eat, they really did, but they just... couldn't. Like they physically couldn't bring themself to put the food in their mouth. Sure, it was literal fucking dog food but that wasn't why they couldn't eat. Something about loss of appetite being cause by stress or fear...

Please try and eat otherwise he'll force you to.

"I... I can't..." Their voice was hoarse and weak, their face turned away from the bowl as they crouched against the wall of the cell, hugging themself and trying to replicate the warmth of Kai's body with their own arms.

Then Bishop rounded the corner and all warmth that might have remained was gone. Donatello glared at the man and he looked back with a grin.

"I see you still haven't eaten. You have two days left before you experience the consequences of that choice."

"It's laughable how much I don't care. You'll have to try a little harder to scare me, I've experienced things worse than force feeding." Bishop smirked at them.

"Oh, you have no idea how bad it really is~" Donnie growled at him, seeing his eyes flick to the bandages around their left forearm. Bishop's grin widened. "So you've gone down the self-destructive route already? Interesting... I wonder how long it will take you to snap~" 

At that Donnie lunged forwards, gripping the bars and snapping their teeth at Bishop, his throat just barely out of reach of the softshell's maw. Then a previously unseen guard grabbed their neck and pulled them against the bars, shoving a muzzle onto their snout and fastening it almost too tight at the back of their head. Donnie was dropped and they clawed at the edges of the muzzle, trying to get it off as they hissed at Bishop

"You bastard! Get this thing off of me!" Bishop just smirked and watched at they scratched at the muzzle, red lines appearing on their skin from their clawing.

"I don't think I will... You've got awfully sharp teeth, you know... I wouldn't want there to be any more... accidents~"

"You're sick!"

"I know~"

Wooo! Art time! :D

Kai + Bishop's designs plus some Donnie doodles!

WARNING FOR S/H AND DISTURBING(?) IMAGERY

Chapter Text

That bastard.

Kai seethed as he drew the blood from Donnie's arm. Bishop put them in a fucking muzzle like they were some kind of rabid dog. Obviously Donnie could sense his anger because they glanced at him, their thoughts worried and their eyes looking almost scared.

I'm fine, child, just angry that he muzzled you.

Donatello was unconvinced and Kai knew that. They knew that Kai knew that, he could see into their mind after all. But, as Kai took one needle away from their bicep and replaced it with another, they wondered. They had been in this place for... four days maybe?

A week. You've been here a week.

Right, yes, thank you. They'd been there for a week and every day so far, Kai had been taking vials of blood from Donnie, seemingly without reason. They vaguely remembered Bishop saying something about them being part of a weapon. Maybe their blood was being used in a bio weapon of some kind?

I'll explain it all eventually, I promise.

Promises. Right. So many promises. Kai had been promising things constantly, never giving Donnie straight answers.

I have my reasons. I'm just trying to protect you-

"Bullshit..." Their voice was low, barely audible. If Kai was really trying to protect them, then he would tell them what's really happening here so they could know how to properly adjust to the situation.

It doesn't work like that in this situation-

Then how does it work?! It's just been promise after promise since they got here. Promises to get them out. Promises to tell them everything. Promises to help them remember. Promises to protect them. Well that worked out well didn't it? They had passed out after carving their brothers' initials into their own arm, they had been muzzled, and were going to be force fed because they couldn't physically eat thanks to the stress they were under.

Donatello, please-

No. No more. They were done. Done with promises, done with lies.

I'm not lying to you, Donnie-

Shut up. He didn't know what it was like. Didn't know about the constant fear of being sedated at any time, didn't know about the fear of losing yourself piece by piece. Donnie was stuck here. Kai could leave any time he wanted. Kai wasn't a number, he didn't know-

Donatello.

His voice in their mind was firm, commanding, and they growled as they turned their eyes to him, only for their growl to abruptly stop, their eyes widening at the numbers tattooed on Kai's neck.

He had pulled down the collar of his turtleneck, a firm look in his eyes as 17-09 stood in black ink across his neck, the lines rough and shaky.

I know. I've always known. I am just as stuck as you are so don't you think for a second that I don't know what you're going through. I know what Bishop will do to you if you defy him. That's why every single time he's talked to you, I've told you to stay calm and not let him get to you. I know exactly how cruel that monster can be and I refuse to let you fall to him.

Donatello stared at him, stunned. Stunned by his firm voice in their mind. Stunned by the cold look in his eyes. Stunned by the number scrawled on his neck. Their surprise turned to confusion. If Kai had a number as well, then why wasn't he in a cell? Why wasn't he getting the same treatment as them?

I am where I am because I fought for it. The only reason Bishop treats me like a sentient being is because I am the only one that can create his precious little weapon and because I was smart enough to manipulate him without him knowing. He needs me but he won't need me forever and that's why I need you to be patient. That's why I keep making promises to tell you everything because when I'm finally able to put my plan in motion, I'll be able to show you everything. I am doing this to protect you. I owe you my life, Hamato Donatello, and I intend to return the favour.

Favour? What favour? Before this place, Donnie had never even heard of Kai, and now he was saying how he owed Donnie his life? Had Donnie saved Kai during the Invasion then forgotten about him whilst suppressing some slightly more traumatic memories? They were so, so confused.

You'll know soon, but right now, don't worry about it. There's a guard outside the door. I'm going to call him in and he's going to take you back to your cell. Please try and eat something. Force feeding feels a lot worse than it looks.

Donnie nodded slightly, a barely noticeable movement, but it was still picked up on by Kai as he turned and walked to the door. A guard entered the room as Kai walked to his desk, glancing at Donnie as the guard grabbed them by the arm to pull them out of the room.

You'll understand everything soon. I'll make sure of it.

Art time!

Chapter Text

They barely had a chance to register what was going on before their mind was wrapped in swirling images; purple fire, people fighting, an animalistic screech. They were running somewhere, a small bundle of warmth in their arms. There was a hiss to their right and pink eyes they knew too well launched at them. They hit it out of the way with their bo-staff, barely noticing five fingers instead of three. Blazing green eyes stared up at them as they ran, their breath heavy as they sprinted through the dying landscape. The edge of a forest caught their eye and they ran towards it, ducking through the trees towards a cave they somehow knew was there. 

The cave appeared like a divine shelter and they crouched inside, placing the warmth against the wall of the cave, a little ball of black fur full of so much life. They couldn't let that life be swallowed by the invaders.

There was a screech that sounded so close and they turned, running out of the cave and towards the battle-

Then everything was black. Where did the light go? Was the warmth safe? 

A giant fox stood in front of them, head lowered so that it's electric green eyes were level with theirs.

And it spoke.

Wake up, child. I won't let you fall here.

Donatello woke with a start. They couldn't move, their wrists held in place by metal cuffs. They were sitting upright, they weren't on the table in Kai's lab, no this was way different. The room was dark for a second before a bright florescent light flickered on above their head and Bishop was there, his hands behind his back, grinning.

"I'm going to take a guess and assume that you know your three days are up..~" Donnie hissed at him and Bishop smirked. "Always with the hissing... that seems to be a common trait among you reptiles, or just animals in general. You all seem to hiss when you're threatened... or when you're scared~"

"I am not scared." They just about registered that they weren't wearing the muzzle and there was a slight shot of panic through their veins. They knew what was coming. Bishop wasn't bluffing.

"Oh, but you will be! The thing that everyone fears most is dying, all I have to do is give you one little taste of something worse than that, and you'll be shaking on your knees~" Donnie spat at the ground near Bishop's feet, their voice a low growl.

"I've seen death before. I've seen Hell. I've been through things worse than death. It doesn't scare me anymore." Bishop smirked.

"I never said anything about death. I was talking about dying~" He stepped towards them and put a hand on their neck, sliding his fingers over the lines of their tattoo before grabbing their jaw and pushing it upwards, stretching their throat as something clicked in place. "Now, stay still. We wouldn't want our dearest Doctor to cut the inside of your oesophagus..." 

Donnie's breathing grew heavier and their eyes darted around the room until they connected with his.

Kai.

He was holding a funnel.

I'm so sorry...

Chapter Text

I'm so sorry...

He didn't look sorry. He looked cold. He looked cold and unfeeling but the voice in Donnie's mind was so full of agony as he approached them, funnel in hand. 

Their neck was craned at an uncomfortable angle, kept in place by a tight metal cuff, the restraint digging into Donatello's jaw slightly. Their eyes flitted from Kai's blank expression, to the funnel he was carrying, plastic tubing attached to the thinnest part of it.

He put a hand on their jaw when he was close enough, his touch warm but the position of his hand seeming too similar to Bishop's, causing Donnie to immediately panic, their mind and body already programmed to hate anything even slightly related to that cruel man.

"Stay still," Donnie clenched their teeth at how cold Kai sounded. "Open your mouth."

Please, don't struggle. I can't- He'll know if I show you any sympathy. 

Donnie took a hissing intake of breath before opening their mouth, and promptly having the end of the tubing shoved to the back of their throat.

"You know," Donnie choked a little and they felt like it was more because Bishop was talking, rather than the tubing being shoved into their mouth. "I heard that softshell turtles swallow their prey whole. I wonder how that carried along with your mutation... Do you have a gag reflex-" Donatello gagged on the tubing as they felt it scrape their throat. Bishop's voice carried a sort of sadistic mirth, and Donnie didn't need to see him to know that he was grinning like a maniac. "Well that answers that question. I also heard that turtles can cry like children when they're ill or in pain. How much pain would I have to cause you to get you to make sounds like that? Could this make you cry like that? Or would I have to do something else? Maybe I could brand you with my name, you are technically my property, I suppose..." Donnie dug their claws into their palms, their eyes shut tight and brimming with tears as they felt the tubing being shoved deeper into their throat, desperately trying to ignore Bishop's words under Kai's guidance.

But ignoring anything is pretty fucking impossible when you have fifteen inches of plastic shoved down your throat.

They could feel. Everything. The scrape of the plastic against their oesophagus. Their tongue slowly drying as they held their mouth open. The end of the tubing finally reaching into their stomach.

Donnie let out a choked sob, tears dripping down their face as they heard Bishop laugh, Kai's voice panicked and quiet and pained as he whispered into their mind.

Oh God, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, Donatello.

For a second, there was calm. Nothing happened. Donnie stayed still, the tubing didn't shift. 

Then a guard came in with a large jug and the adrenaline shot through their system again. They watched as Kai took the jug from the guard, Donnie's eyes so scared and pleading. Then Bishop, the nasty fucking bastard-prick that he is, starts to talk.

"I wonder if salmonella effects you... Would raw eggs and raw meat make you ill or not? Most likely not seeming as you are carnivorous but you also have human genes. Well, I suppose we'll be finding out now. That reminds me, how well do you hold your liquor?" Donnie didn't acknowledge many of his words, mostly just focusing on trying not to gag at the feeling of cold, thick liquid pouring directly into their stomach. "Because this is a similar concoction to what British suffragettes were fed when they went on hunger strike and to my knowledge, brandy has quite a high alcohol by volume. Can you even get drunk? It takes an awfully high concentrate of sedative to knock you out so maybe it's the same for alcohol... Though, I wouldn't be entirely shocked if you did get drunk from this. It would be fun to watch you stumble... I wonder how the sedative will work with the alcohol. Admittedly it would be dangerous and potentially lethal but it would be fun while it lasts... Not for you of course, I've heard overdosing and liver failure is extremely painful-"

The last of the mixture poured into their stomach and their entire body spasmed. They wanted to cough, gag, choke, anything to get rid of the horrible, cold, sickening feeling in their stomach.

Then the tubing was being pulled from their throat. Donnie let out a choked sob at the sensation, their neck bruised inside and out, the feeling of plastic being drawn out of their throat making them want to scream.

Kai pulled the last of the tubing from Donatello's throat and just as they were about to gag-

"Make sure it doesn't vomit, Doctor."

Kai's hand clamped down around Donnie's snout, holding their jaw shut as they writhed, the taste of bile and raw eggs and brandy filling their mouth, some of it trickling out from the corner of their lips as they breathed heavily through their nose, trying not to choke on their own vomit.

Donnie I'm so sorry but you have to swallow it. It-It'll be over soon just swallow it and it will all be over I promise.

They almost choked and gagged again when they swallowed, the feeling of bile in their throat lowering. Kai let go of their face and Donnie gasped for air, taking huge gulps of oxygen before the muzzle was shoved back onto their snout again, the straps tightening around their head. The cuff around Donnie's neck was released and they slumped forwards, their head feeling slightly dizzy from the alcohol in the mixture that had been forced into their stomach.

Bishop took Kai's place in front of Donnie and they glared at that smug fucking bastard.

"You... You're a fucking monster..." Bishop just grinned, his evil eyes slightly squinted.

"Oh no... The poor thing's so drunk it's mixing up it's words..." He grabbed their neck and shoved them to sit up in the chair, his hand tight around their throat. "I think the word you were looking for... is god..."

Chapter Text

For the first time in a little over a week, Leo was at peace. He was sitting with Mikey, his younger brother holding both his hands as they meditated. His mind was clear, calm. There was no fear or worry clouding his brain. Just... peace.

Then it all ended when there was a gross feeling at the back of his throat. Leo doubled over and coughed, alarming Mikey as he held a hand over his mouth and gagged. He choked for a while, coughing and sputtering as Mikey frantically went to get help.

Then, for just a second, there was a pause. But no the universe can't let him fucking rest can it?

A scraping feeling inside his throat made him gag and he vomited, feeling gross and disgusting as he choked on bile, tears dripping from his cheeks as he shook. He shuffled away from the slowly spreading puddle of puke, gripping the front of his- Donnie's- hoodie.

Mikey, Raph, and fucking Draxum rushed into the room. Leo didn't know where his other father was but he didn't care, he just glared at Michelangelo.

"We are going to find Donnie."

"But-"

"No! I don't care what your weird green spirit-dude says! We are going to find them and that's final!" Raph stepped towards Leo, helping him up.

"Leo, we can't. You're still hurt, Dads still out, we can't look for Don now. But they're safe, Mikey knows that-"

"Does he?! Because I just threw up on the fucking floor! Whoever is 'protecting' Donnie is doing a shit job at it!" Leo saw Mikey's jaw clench.

Good, get angry, little brother, show me just how sure of this guy you are.

"Leo, we need to be patient-" He gripped Raph's shoulder tight.

"To hell with patience! I'm done waiting! My twin is who knows where, with who knows what, and they are in danger! I'm not standing around any longer just because you said that there's some kind of mystic-fox bullshit protecting them!" Mikey's fists clenched and Leo was about to push more when Draxum spoke up.

"Leonardo, trust your brother-"

"Who the fuck are you to talk about trust?! Two years ago you would have done anything to use us as your little battle slaves! You probably would've put us in shock collars! You do not get to tell me who to trust-"

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone looked at Mikey. He so rarely raised his voice, he only did when he was either about to go full Dr Delicate Touch, or when he was pissed beyond relief. Right now it was the second option.

"Shut up! You talk about this like the rest of us aren't also losing our fucking minds looking for them! Dad goes out to the Hidden City every day for hours looking for any miniscule sign of Donnie! Raph and April have checked damn near every alley in New York! I have been talking to that fucking spirit every God damn day, trying to get some kind of explanation! We are all trying! And all you're doing is spiralling and lashing out! So just shut up!" Mikey had tears running down his face and he trembled, teeth bared in anger and grief.

For a moment everything was still.

And then Leo crumbled. His knees gave out and he fell into Raphael's arms, the snapper holding Leo close to his chest as the slider broke down. Mikey broke down soon after, kneeling on the floor with his head in his hands, the weight of his own words and what he had unintentionally implied overwhelming him with guilt.

Draxum... didn't know what to do. His sons were breaking down in front of him and he didn't know what to do. What was the point of being so smart if he couldn't even comfort his own children? They needed each other more than they needed-

Wait.

They needed each other more than they needed him.

Sometimes his own genius can almost frighten him.

Okay, self-praise later, help children now.

Slowly, carefully, Draxum picked Mikey up, his smallest son shaking and scratching at his arms. He carried Mikey towards his two older brothers, kneeling in front of Raph and Leo, the snapper and the sheep holding the two youngest of the family between them. Raph's eyes met with Draxum's, tear filled green meeting comforting yellow.

"Are... Are we gonna be okay?" Raphael's voice was so soft and shaky, tears starting to drip from his eyes. "We're gonna find them, right?"

Draxum put a hand on the back of Raph's head, resting his forehead against his son's.

"We'll be okay, my child. We will find Donatello. I promise."

Art time! Only one piece for today since I was busy, lmk if you enjoy these lil segments!

Chapter Text

Donatello sat in their cell, knees pulled close to their chest, hand pawing at their bruised throat. Their body felt heavy and cold, but somehow numb at the same time, like they were a corpse.

A shudder passed through them at the feeling.

Their mind was quiet, absent of both Kai's voice and their own thoughts. They were still recovering from being sedated after the whole force-feeding ordeal. They didn't know much, but they knew that they gotten out of their muzzle at one point, and they knew that they had killed someone again. Either killed or badly maimed. They could still taste iron on their tongue, dark red life dried beneath their claws.

Yet they couldn't feel anything.

Not guilt or remorse or sadness or anger. Just.

Nothing.

Like they were nothing more than a shell, empty and hollow.

How much longer would this last? How much more would they need to endure before Kai's plan finally kicked in? They didn't know and they didn't care anymore.

Something about being branded swam through their mind, Bishop's voice echoed in their head, words absorbed by Donnie's mind as plastic was forced down their throat.

They didn't care.

Bishop could brand them. He could cut them and force-feed them and sedate them and tattoo them and they would not care. He could do fucking anything to them and they just. Wouldn't react. Not anymore. They were too tired for fear or anger or sadness.

Suddenly vibrant green eyes filled with anguish flashed through their mind. Kai had sounded so in pain when he was forcing that tube down their throat, like watching their agony set his body on fire.

Little inklings of what Kai's plan actually was began to flutter through Donnie's mind.

Kai was willing to do anything to protect them, even play a role he never wanted. He bent and waned to Bishop's will but at the same time kept in control of the situation. He would play the role of the emotionless doctor, but speak into Donnie's mind so softly it made them want to cry. Kai was willing to do anything to protect Donnie.

Anything.

Tears suddenly formed in Donnie's eyes as this situation began to feel far too familiar. All feeling came rushing back and they choked out a sob, a hand coming up as if to cover their mouth, only stopped by the muzzle.

Kai was willing to do anything for Donnie. Kai was willing to die.

Kai was going to die.

Then Donnie would be alone again. No voice whispering comforting things into their mind, no warm hands that conjured illusions and rubbed their shell so gently. They were going to be alone again. Left behind again. Alive whilst someone they loved sacrificed himself. For the second time in five months.

You won't be alone.

His voice made them sob harder but this time there were no warm hands to hold them.

You won't be alone, I promise. I'll be with you. Always.

Donnie had their hands on the sides of their head, shaking as they rocked back and forth and sobbed.

I won't ever leave you. I won't leave you alone. Not now and not ever. Do you understand?

Donnie choked on their own tears, trying to breathe as their hands squeezed the sides of their head, their wrists shaking with the effort of not slamming their fists into their skull.

Breathe. Answer me, Donatello. Do you understand?

They nodded weakly, they understood. They didn't understand but at the same time they did. They didn't know how Kai would stay with them, even after what was now his inevitable death, but they knew he would be with them.

He promised.

And Kai doesn't make promises he can't keep.

Art time!

Chapter Text

A child.

A fucking. Child.

Kai hated this company. He loathed this compound. He despised Bishop.

The corpse that lay on the gurney before Kai was a small one. They seemed to have been a Kappa of some kind, maybe a common snapping turtle, a freckle-like pattern on their cheeks making them seem even smaller, even more childish. The indentation in the top of their skull wasn't how they were killed, no, but it was empty, the water it should have held now absent. Of course Bishop had the water removed from this child's head, he'd always had an affinity for weakening those that could kill him easily.

Kai couldn't focus on any of this for too long, he had a job to do.

"Number 14-10 is deceased due to guard incompetence," He spoke to the little tape device he had in his hand. "According to the report I received, they were acting aggressive or confrontational and a guard injected them with a dosage of sedative that was far too high. Their heart stopped within fifteen minutes of being sedated and they died. No attempts to resuscitate were made as 14-10-" Aka, their name was Aka. "-was not a crucial subject."

He stopped recording and sighed, placing the tape down on his desk. He always hated this part.

The EPF was an organization that no one was supposed to know about. Only the governments of the countries that housed EPF compounds knew of the organisation. And so, to keep the EPF secret, there were some policies put in place around how to properly dispose of subjects that had died.

Kai tugged the disposal rubber gloves onto his hands, picking up a scalpel and walking back over to the corpse. He pulled the skin of the Kappa's- Aka's- neck taught, pressing the scalpel into the flesh just above the top of the '4' tattooed into their neck. He started to cut.

Their skin peeled back easy enough. There wasn't much blood; most of it had settled in their back now that their body lacked a beating heart. Kai placed the slab of flesh in a dish on the gurney, Aka's body barely taking up any space on the gurney built for those much bigger than them.

Kai conjured a quick flame and incinerated the piece of flesh in the dish, grimacing slightly at the smell of burning skin. Then he pushed the gurney to the back of the room, opening a door there and pushing the gurney out, it would be taken to either be incinerated or turned into food for some of the more nutrient dependent subjects.

He stood in his now empty lab, taking the rubber gloves off and throwing them into a trash can. Kai was close to breaking. He didn't have time to conjure an illusion for the cameras. He just sunk to the ground, gripping at his hair as the energy in the air around him crackled and shook.

He felt sick. He always felt sick. He wanted it all to just stop.

When had he started crying? He didn't know. His mind was a mess of memories and emotions he usually hid so well. Overwhelming feelings of guilt and pain and hatred for having lived so long whilst everyone around him died. He wanted to be rid of his body, his mind, his awareness. He didn't want to exist.

His life was just a never ending cycle of loss and death. He had lived too long, seen too much. He didn't deserve the lifespan he had. He would gladly trade it. He would trade his life for a pebble.

The scars beneath his shirt felt like they were burning, injuries caused decades ago flaring back to life. He didn't want to be this thing anymore, didn't want to continue living even as the world ended around him. They should never have saved him-

Stop.

Ah. Kai didn't realize he was thinking that loud. Donnie had realized the connection went both ways.

I don't recall rescuing you but I would do it all again if it meant I got to meet you.

Kai wiped the tears from his eyes, a child shouldn't be comforting him.

You've been comforting me every day I've been here. I think I should be able to return the favour.

Kai sighed and huffed out a small laugh as he stood, running a hand through his hair. He had been inside this kid's mind and somehow still didn't know them.

What can I say? I'm hard to read. I guess the dearest 'tism hides some of my thoughts as well.

Kai tries not to laugh at that, wiping his hands down his face to calm himself and also to keep the massive smile he had hidden. This child was going to be the death of him. Literally and figuratively.

Right. About that.

The sudden tone of seriousness made Kai stop for a second.

I don't want you dying for me. There's got to be some other way your plan works right? You can't die in every version of your plan, right?

To be entirely truthful, it would only be Kai's body that would be dying. That's pretty much all he can say without revealing the whole plan.

Why do you keep hiding your plan from me? If it involves me then surely I should know about it.

They will know about it. They'll know about it all when it's time.

Fine. But you tell me everything when that time comes, alright? I like knowing things and, if you couldn't tell, not knowing plans puts me on edge.

Yeah, he could tell. And he would tell Donnie everything from beginning to end as soon as he knew it was time. He promised.

I swear if you promise me one more thing I'm going to implode. You better fulfil these promises one day.

He will.

Don't you dare.

Kai smiled a little. He promised.

Art time! This time it's a triple feature :D

Chapter Text

Kai sighed as he placed the last syringe of the new sedative into a box. He could test them tomorrow, right now he needed rest.
Then, as if some divine being decided that now was the time to fuck with the Yokai, Bishop walks in.

"Doctor Ichigo! Mind if I talk to you?" Kai stood from his desk and turned to face Bishop.

"What is it, Agent Bishop?" Kai was as blank and blunt as ever, but his mind screamed behind his green eyes. Bishop grinned and stepped towards the doctor.

"I'd like to ask about your recent interactions with subject 17-10. You seemed hesitant when inserting the funnel into it's throat. Why is that?" Kai raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're questioning why I hesitated to put my hands in the mouth of a mutant with remarkably sharp teeth?"
Bishop stepped closer.

"Yes, but also, you tensed when 17-10 choked, like you were in pain. Do you feel any sympathy towards it?"

"No." Kai didn't even hesitate. He had to make this believable.

Bishop smirked and tilted his head slightly.

"Really? Because this isn't the first time you've taken pity on that animal. First you suggested I reduce the concentration of the sedative so I wouldn't 'damage' it's mind when you know full well I don't care about damaging it's faulty brain," Kai's jaw tensed at Bishop's words. "And then when it decided to cut itself, you took it out of it's cell and sewed up its wounds. You care about it, don't you?"

"I don't care about them-"

"Ah, and then there's the matter of pronouns. You treat it as though it isn't an animal. Like its some kind of being worthy of being referred to correctly. Why is that?" It took everything Kai had not to lose control and tear Bishop's throat out.

"I don't care about them," Kai repeated himself, this time without interruption from Bishop. "But they do seem to be the thing that's essential in your little super soldier project so I'd rather not have them die since you would have my liver on a platter if I couldn't make your soldiers. I refer to them with their own pronouns because, believe it or not, they aren't just some animal. They have a mind and I'd like to appeal to that mind so that there is minimal struggle whenever I run tests on them or take blood. Do you have an issue with that, Agent Bishop?" Bishop chuckled a little.

"Not yet I don't. However, if you continue to show sympathy for 17-10, there will be consequences." Kai just glared at Bishop.

"And what consequences do you have planned? I'm the only one capable of completing what you need. You put me in this role."

"And I can easily revoke that role, 17-09." His smirk was evil and a low growl echoes from the back of Kai's throat.

Kai didn't say anything, he just glared at Bishop, green eyes piercing almost gleeful light brown.

Eventually Bishop left and Kai cursed to himself, turning back to face his desk, grabbing his tape recorder, notebook, and pen from the metal surface, before leaving the lab.

Kai's room wasn't much of a step up from the cells. He had a bed and that was about it. There were no bars but he still didn't have any privacy; there were cameras stationed in every corner of the room, he was the EPF's most dangerous inmate after all, why would he have any privacy?

Kai sat down on his bed, the mattress so thin he could feel every spring. He opened his notebook and took the cap off his pen with his teeth, conjuring a small flame because of course Bishop wouldn't put lights in his room. He started to angrily sketch, not really sketching anything in particular, just sketching. Little things that filled his mind appeared on the pages; eyes, hands, teeth, Donnie. It was an outlet for him, a coping mechanism so he could deal with the insanity and stress of this compound.

He sketched his memories, some recent, some from decades ago, little drawings of people he had loved and lost, doodles of places he had been. Kai was lucky to have an outlet like this, it kept him somewhat sane, stopped him from hurting himself as much as the other subjects, the other people in the facility. Sometimes he wished he could tear out every page in this sketchbook and give each page to someone, handing them a pencil as he passed their cell so they could scribble out all their anger and confusion and fear. He wished he could give Donnie a piece of paper and a pen so they could carve their worries into the paper rather than their own arms and thighs, wished he had more chances to hold them when they're panicked and scared at night or after a heavy sedation.

Kai was tired of the torture that child was being put through, but if his convocation with Bishop was anything to go by, then his plan would be in effect soon, and he would be able to save Donnie and possibly every other captured soul in this damned compound.

Soon. Soon everything will be okay again. He was going to fix everything.

Art time! A WIP I probably won't finish, the first drawing of the series including someone other than Kai, Donnie, or Bishop, and two TOTALLY unrelated, TOTALLY irrelevant sketches 😌

Chapter Text

Donnie only knew how much time had passed by watching the still healing initials of their brothers on their arm. They watched as the wound scabbed over with the help of the stitches, watched as new crust formed after they picked at it, watched as the crust turned a slight yellow from infection that Kai treated quickly.

Three weeks.

Three weeks had passed since they were taken. They could feel Mikey searching for them, the box turtle's ninpo entwining with theirs as he desperately tried to make sense of what was going on. They could feel Mikey's sadness when Kai made him leave again and again.

Then Leo started searching to. Donnie remembered sensing Leo's pure concentrated fury when Kai forced the slider's ninpo back, made him leave the empty lot above the EPF, hidden by Kai's illusions.

Donnie was angry to. Angry at themself, angry at Kai, angry at everything. They wanted to see their brothers, wanted to feel them, but no of course that couldn't happen. Kai was protecting both Donnie and their family and they were grateful, yes, but Galileo they just wanted to feel their brothers' ninpo for just a little longer. It had been so long since they even heard their brothers' voices outside of Kai's illusions, but those same illusions where the only things keeping their memories of their brothers alive. They just wanted to see their-

"Hey Dontron."

That was Leo's voice. Was this one of Kai's illusions? The Yokai quickly spoke into Donnie's mind.

Donnie, that- That's not me.

"C'mon, look at me, hermana." Donatello looked up and almost screamed.

That- That was not Leonardo. No. No no no that wasn't him!

They- they had fixed this! His plastron wasn't cracked! His carapace wasn't shattered! They had mended his arm and his leg and they had fixed all of this!

Donatello, he isn't real.

Yeah, Kai was right, whatever this was, it wasn't real, it couldn't be.

"What's the matter, Dee? Can't stand the sight of your dearest twin? Wow, I didn't think you hated me that much."

This isn't real, just ignore it, this isn't real it's not real that's not him-

"Look at me, Donnie. Do I look fake to you?"

"You're not real!"

Something within them suddenly snapped and they screamed at the grotesque hallucination of their brother, loud, animalistic sobs tearing out of their throat. The hallucination grinned and melted away and Donnie continued to scream, agonizing sounds that alerted the guards.

They were pushed down and they clawed at the throat of whoever was holding them. They could smell blood, feel flesh tearing beneath their claws. A prick in the back of their neck and they continued to thrash, fighting the heavy feeling that overtook them.

Then there was a sudden impact on the side of their head and they stopped their struggle.

They could smell heated metal.

Art time! Not sure if the way I edited the sketches made them any clearer but oh well lol

Yes you're right there is supposed to be an image here, however, it looked like absolute DOGSHIT and so I and redrawing it😌

Chapter Text

Donatello knew the scent of hot metal well, they were the scientist and engineer of the family after all, they couldn't even count the amount of times they had to weld or solder something. So when the fist thing they could smell was hot metal, they weren't immediately alarmed.

But then they remembered where they were, what had happened.

They jolted and almost choked when something around their neck tugged them back. A cruel laugh echoed from somewhere and when their eyes focused Bishop was there.

"Sleep well, animal? You put up an awfully big fight when we came for you, killed another one of my men. You ripped his throat out with your bare hands you know~" His voice was so fucking cruel and Donnie wanted to rip his throat out with their teeth.

Instead they just growled.

"I'm aware. How many more do I need to kill before you stop sending them to do your dirty work? You scared of chipping a nail?" Bishop just smirked and Donatello flinched when he grabbed their jaw and leaned slightly closer.

"I prefer to send others to do my work, but I am perfectly capable of taking things into my own hands..." He dropped their face and turned away from them, walking over to what looked like some kind of open oven. There was something like a rod sticking out of the oven and Bishop picked it up.

A branding iron. It was a branding iron.

"Though in these situations I do prefer to watch the pain being caused rather than causing it myself. It means I can just focus on witnessing the pain. That being said," Bishop looked past them and Donnie clenched their teeth when they heard footsteps and could smell him over the scent of hot metal. "Doctor Ichigo, I think this is a job for you. Show me just how much you don't care about this animal."

Don't listen to him.

Kai walked up to Bishop and took the brand from him, glaring at the man.

"You're disgusting, Bishop." Bishop just laughed.

"And you're a trickster demon. We all have our quirks. Now, you know what to do~" Donnie saw Kai's jaw tense as he turned to face them.

This is going to hurt but you need to stay calm.

The brand was glowing white with heat and Donnie's breathing hitched a little, their breaths coming out short and fast. They barely registered Bishop standing to the side of them, watching with malevolent brown eyes as Kai reached towards Donnie, grabbing their right wrist. Bishop smirked and put a hand on Kai's shoulder, his other hand holding Kai's hand on the brand, guiding the scolding metal to Donnie's face. Kai glanced at Bishop and the man nodded.

And Kai looked scared.

Donatello could feel the heat radiating off of the branding iron held just in front of their face, under their right eye. Their breathing grew fast and heavy, eyes glancing from the brand to Kai to the brand again. And then he pressed it forwards.

Donnie felt their skin practically melt and they bit back a scream, the hiss of burning flesh loud in their ears. Their body shook with the effort to stay still, Kai's words almost unheard amongst the wailing in their head.

You'll be okay, you- you're going to be okay, Donnie. I'll fix this. I'll fix everything I promise.

The brand was held on their face until the metal cooled but Donatello could still feel the burn. Their melted flesh clung to the cooled brand, and Donnie felt their skin rip away from the metal and they screamed, tears rolling down their cheeks, quite literally rubbing salt in the wound as their own tears burned.

Kai wanted to throw up.

He was going to throw up.

The Yokai dropped the brand and practically ran out of the room, bile rising in his throat as he just barely made it to the men's restroom, vomiting in a sink as tears stung in his eyes. Kai held his own hair back as he gagged, disgust and hate for himself filling him as he coughed and choked.

They were a child, a little kid. And he had- He had branded them like some damn animal!

His instincts screeched at him to get out of here, to take Donnie and leave, run away, he can find them somewhere safe, somewhere they will never be found. He can take them and run and give them the life that's being robbed from them-

"I had a feeling this would happen." Kai whipped his head around and snarled at Bishop, teeth bared viciously.

"Fuck off. They are a child. Do you even know what you've done-"

"I am perfectly aware of what I've done, 17-09. And frankly, I don't care. It's nothing more than an animal to me. But it appears that it's not just an animal to you, is it? I was right in assuming that you care for it, wasn't I?" He looked so fucking smug and Kai wanted to tear that bastard apart piece by vile fucking piece.

"I think you understand what happens now, don't you, 17-09?" Kai was gonna pull out each and every one of those fucking grinning teeth.

"Of course I know. You're going to kill me."

Bishop.

Fucking.

Cackled.

"Oh no, I'm not going to kill you. That softshell that you seem so fond of, is."

Donatello sobbed in the empty room, still bound to the chair, their throat dry and hoarse from crying and screaming. They didn't need to see what was branded onto their face just below their eye, they had already seen the brand and Bishop didn't exactly keep it discreet what he was doing.

Donnie knew that across their cheek, just below their green eye, was a single word, burnt into their skin.

BISHOP.

Art time to distract you from the pain! :D

WARNING FOR FACIAL INJURY

Chapter Text

When was the last time he slept properly? One, maybe two weeks ago? Leonardo didn't know, he just knew he was tired and that he might finally, finally be about to pass out.

But no the world fucking hates him so of course he can't sleep now.

That familiar burning ache spreads out from the middle of his plastron, wrapping his body in pain as he groans. Sure, this was annoying and painful but nothing a little (a lot) of ibuprofen can't fix.

He got up from his bed with a groan and started to walk towards the little med box he kept on his desk, limping a little from his still-injured-but-not-quite-as-bad-anymore leg.

He took the little box of pills and popped six pills out of the little tray. Mutant healing abilities equals needing more pain meds than any human because of course it does.

As he was about to swallow two of those little pills dry, a sudden, sharp burn erupted underneath his right eye. Leo hissed and pressed a hand to his face, the pain persisting for far too long before a ripping sensation made him cry out and fall to the floor, breathing heavily as he clutched his face.

When the aftershocks of the pain ended, anger rippled through him in waves and he stood, marching out of his train-car and towards Mikey's room.

Said box-turtle yelped in surprise when Leo busted into his room, rage clear on his face.

"Get me connected with that green bastard right fucking now."

"Leo-"

"Now, Mikey!"

Michelangelo flinched a little when his brother raised his voice, but he nodded slightly, gesturing for Leo to sit and holding his hands when he did.

The pair closed their eyes and the cracks that spread up Mikey's arms began to glow a bright orange, and when Leo opened his eyes everything was black.

Everything except the vibrant green outline of him.

Leonardo moved towards him and the man in the warding mask just stared at him, face hidden by that damned fox mask. Leo yelled at him.

"Hey asshole! What the fuck is happening to them?! You said Donnie was safe! Why are they in so much pain if they're safe?!" He just stared at the fuming slider. "Answer me you bastard!"

Leo grabbed at the collar of the Yokai's kimono, tugging him forwards. Tears beaded in Leonardo's eyes from the sheer intensity of his fury, teeth clenched and bared.

"ANSWER ME!" Then just like that, everything melted away. "An-... Answer me..." His grip loosened and he sunk to his knees, crying at the feet of the Yokai.

He knelt down in front of the slider, wrapping his arms around him as the boy cried, sobs shaking through him, grieving his missing twin. Leo felt like half his soul had been ripped away, taken from his body and hidden somewhere out of reach. He felt pathetic as he cried in the arms of this silent stranger, he felt like a little kid and he hated it. He didn't like feeling so small, so helpless and powerless. He just wanted his twin back, he missed them so goddamn much. He missed their eyes and their crazy looking smile, missed all their dumb little mannerisms and they way they could talk for hours about what they were passionate about. Leo hated himself for not listening to them more when they went on those little rants about their hyperfixations. He just wanted them back-

"They'll be back soon, child. You just have to be patient." His voice was warm and Leo pulled away slightly to look at him, the eyes of the warding mask doing nothing to show the Yokai's emotions.

"What..?" But before he could get any kind of answer, the darkness faded away and the spirit went with it, and Leo returned to the real world. His face felt wet and he stared at his hands, still held in Mikey's. He looked at his little brother, and Mikey's shaking hands moved from holding Leo's, instead reaching up to the slider's face and taking off his damp mask.

Leo leaned forwards, resting his head on Mikey's shoulder, the box turtle's arms wrapping around his older brother's carapace.

"I just want them back..." His voice sounded so small and pitiful, and Mikey's arms tightened around Leo slightly.

"I know..."

Art time!

Chapter Text

Donnie hissed a little as Kai pressed some gauze to the burn on their cheek. They weren't strapped down to the metal table, instead they were just sitting on the cold metal. Kai was being gentle with them for once without covering it up with an illusion. Donnie knew what this was. They knew what was coming.

"This is where your plan starts, isn't it?" Their voice was quiet, still hoarse from crying. Kai nodded.

"It is."

"You're going to die soon, aren't you?"

"I am."

Donnie's breath hitched a little.

"Why? Why do you have to die for this to work? Why can't you just... make an illusion or something? Trick Bishop into thinking you're dead, you can do that, right?"

Kai just shook his head.

"No. I have to die for this to work. I can't tell you much more than that." Then he made the horrible, terrible mistake of looking Donnie in the eye. They usually looked small to Kai but- They were just so... tiny.

Kai reached a hand forwards and cupped the back of Donnie's head, leaning his forehead against theirs. He could hear their thoughts and he responded to each one.

I'm scared.

I know.

What will happen when you're gone?

You'll see.

Please don't leave me alone.

I won't.

You promise?

I promise.

Kai took Donnie into his arms and held them close. Quiet affection, quiet care, but this time not hidden behind illusions. It didn't matter if the cameras saw this. It didn't matter if anyone saw this. Kai was going to die regardless. He was going to die and then he would fix everything.

Donatello clutched the back of Kai's white lab coat, not wanting him to let go, wanting this moment of calm to last forever. Tears rose in their eyes and their breathing grew shaky.

"I wanna stop time..." So small...

"I can't sit here until I fix the problem..." Kai pulled away from them, his green eyes soft and so, so tired. He had lived too long, seen too much, he needed to end his present now so their future could start.

The Yokai stood and walked over to his desk, taking one of the syringes of sedative out of the box, removing the rubber cap off of the needle and turning to Donnie. There was slight fear in their eyes, something that Kai had gotten way too used to seeing. He was going to put an end to that fear.

Kai's expression turned stern and he took a breath before speaking into Donnie's mind.

Donatello, listen to me. This drug isn't like the other sedatives Bishop has been using. This won't knock you out but it will make you feel like you're not quite in control of your body. You will be susceptible to orders and you may not be able to stop yourself from doing what you're told. Do you understand?

Donnie nodded slightly and shuddered a little when Kai put his hand on the side of their neck, tilting their head a little before the needle was pressed into their skin. They could feel the drug being injected into their bloodstream- a strange feeling almost like a swelling or a bubble forming in their vein before it disappeared.

Donnie's head felt heavy and clouded but they didn't pass out. Everything sounded like it was muffled, hidden behind a thick fog. The could hear other people in the room, could smell Kai and Bishop and four others.

Kai said something in an agitated tone, and Donnie couldn't tell if he was speaking in a different language or if it was just the drug warping his words. Then there was a face next to theirs, a cold hand on their shoulder.

"Get up and follow me."

Art time! Only sketches tho cause I'm busy :)

Chapter Text

The room that Kai had been pushed into was dark, a dim red light in the corner the only thing lighting the hands of the guard pulling at Kai's shirt. He shoved the guard away, disdain clear in his voice as he began to remove his top.

"I'm perfectly capable of undressing myself." The guard just stayed silent, and Kai glanced around the room, dropping his shirt on the floor, knowing he wouldn't be needing it anymore.

He knew what this was. Humiliation. Stripping him of something that hid the majority of his scars he had never been proud of whilst he was bathed in the colour of the blood he had spilled. Bishop had always found pleasure in trying to humiliate Kai, the man almost obsessed with trying to break the Yokai. But, then again, Yokai like Kai are notoriously stubborn.

He leant against the cold wall of the room, his arms crossed as he stared at the opposite wall. He wondered what liquor Bishop chose this time...

Donatello can smell strong alcohol and there's a sharp knife in their hands. Bishop is holding something, something bright and glowing and gold, an orb of some kind. He tucks it into a pocket in his suit before he turns to Donnie, holding a bottle of some kind.

"Follow me, we're going to see the good doctor~"

Internally, Donnie grimaced at the malice that dripped from Bishop's words, but externally they had no choice but to follow.

Down a white hallway and up to a black door, Donnie's mind reeled at the familiar scent of Kai, and they wanted to run, run away with the knife in their hands so Kai wouldn't get hurt, but they couldn't. Bishop lead them into the room and Donnie wanted to hug Kai and run away with him, stab Bishop with the knife they were holding and take Kai back to their brothers so they could show their family the man who saved their life.

But they couldn't.

"17-09! You look like you're doing well!" Bishop's tone was so grotesquely chipper as he looked over Kai's bare torso, scars running over his skin like cracks in white porcelain. The Yokai just sighed heavily and stood up straight, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Let's just get this over with," Kai glanced at the bottle Bishop was holding, deliberately not looking at Donnie so he wouldn't break down. "So you chose brandy. How wonderful."

Bishop laughed at Kai's sarcasm and he pulled the cork from the bottle with a sharp pop that almost hurt Donnie's ears, pouring the liquor into a small glass Donnie hadn't even realized they were carrying. Bishop took the glass from them and held it out to Kai. He took it and something like mischief flashed in his eyes as he smirked slightly at Bishop.

"Can you allow a dying man his final toast?"

Bishop raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth pulled up in a vicious smile.

"You have a speech prepared?"

Kai laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"Why would I want to drag this out longer with a speech? A few words will do."

Bishop just smirked and raised the bottle of brandy, and Donnie watched as Kai raised his glass and spoke.

"To the end of my bitter immortality." And he drank.

Art time! Not sure how I feel about the first one but at least the second one looks decent lol

Chapter Text

At some point Donnie had been given another round of sedative. They didn't really know what they were doing but they did know they were cutting something. Once, twice... nine times. What were they cutting? They didn't know.

There was this underlying feeling of dread, a feeling that they were doing something so disgusting that they would probably vomit if they weren't sedated.

They could smell alcohol, the scent coming from whatever was in front of them.

But they could also smell him. Something like Sakura flowers and sea salt and blood.

Kai didn't smell like blood before.

Something, someone, instructed Donnie to get up and walk and they were helpless to disobey. They silently feared what they would see. They could feel themself slowly coming back, their body slowly feeling less and less numb, the fog clearing from their vision.

They dropped the knife, head aching from the sedative.

And then there he was. Chained up by his wrists. Head down. Limp. Bleeding. Dead. Gone.

Donatello dropped to their knees and screamed.

Art time! Nothing silly today because I didn't feel like taking a break from the angst 😌

Chapter Text

Kai's earliest memory is fear. He was running from something, something big and fast and hungry. He only managed to avoid the thing because he was small. He was a child. Small.

Whatever was chasing him let out a screech and he turned, breathing heavily.

And there they were. Struggling against the dog-like creature, their staff caught in the things mouth. With a swift movement, they twisted the staff and kicked the monster away before turning, the long tails of their purple scarf twisting around them.

Kai cowered away from the gaze of their green and brown eyes. He didn't know if they would hurt him and he growled, small teeth bared.

The samurai before him knelt down and held a hand out to Kai. Then the sudden screech of a monster rang out and they lunged forwards, grabbing Kai and running with him in their arms. The small Yokai had struggled for a moment but they just held him as they ran. He wasn't used to any form of kindness. Everything he had encountered had either tried to kill or eat him.

But they were different. They had hidden him in a cave, away from the danger, before going back out into the battle, and trapping the vicious invaders in a separate dimension with the help of three other conveniently colour-coded warriors.

They eventually came back for him, bruised and injured and with the help of a Yokai in a warding mask, but they still came back. Kai was taken somewhere, he can't quite remember where, but he was taken somewhere safe.

Kai was still young when they died. Barely a decade after they had rescued him, gone to some kind of festering illness they had managed to contract from the invaders. Kai had not taken it well.

The other Yokai, of the same species as Kai, had tried to console him, had chased him and pinned him and forced him to cry rather than snarl.

He was a child.

But children aren't treated like children in this universe, are they?

Decades passed quickly, and the Yokai stayed by his side, carving him his own warding mask when he reached a century. The Yokai had trained Kai, treating him like his student, his son.

'Heian' is an ironic word to describe an era where so many died.

Kai had found his sensei and father-figure murdered, dead on the floor, all nine tails severed. He had tracked down the shinobi that killed his father, and Kai killed him, earning himself his first scar; a gash that curved on his stomach, a poor attempt to carve out organs that wouldn't kill him.

Kai wasn't proud of what he had done. But he had killed that man anyway. He had killed that man. And the man that had ordered the shinobi to kill Kai's sensei. And he kept. Killing.

He didn't want to. But eventually two kills turned to three. Then seven. And then twenty. And then a hundred. Man after man came after him. All human, all looking to avenge the man before them.

Eventually Kai got tired. Bored. He left Japan, went to China instead. After a decade or two there, he moved again, working his way through Asia and Europe. He managed to make his way into the court of some Spanish or Italian king at some point. He presented himself as a soothsayer, a good sorcerer because if he didn't then he'd probably be captured and tortured for being a 'demon'.

When he got bored of Southern Europe he made his way up. He courted an Austrian woman at one point. She was obsessed with the idea of being eternally young, eternally beautiful, and, well, Kai wasn't about that. An immortal marrying someone obsessed with eternal youth probably wasn't a good idea.

From Austria he made his way to Russia, living with an Assan family for a decade and a half before leaving for France.

France was fun, for a little while at least. He drank and laughed with aristocrats, seen as something exotic and historical, presenting his detailed knowledge of history as simply a good education. Many men and women wanted him as their bedfellow, and he refused most of them, was forced by two, and accepted one. Some sweet Lord or Baron, he couldn't remember exactly who but Kai remembered that he could play the violin.

Then the revolution came and everything crumbled. Kai quickly left France and went to Britain, catching the eye of some poet that twisted his gender and made him out to be some melancholy soul wondering a ballroom, presenting the Yokai as a woman in the poem so that the poet wouldn't be scrutinized by those around him.

Kai spent a lot of his time in opium dens when he stayed in Britain, he enjoyed messing with the addicts, making them think they were hallucinating as he played them some bizarre illusion.

Other then toying with addicts and watching London cower at the image of a man that had murdered seven women, Kai was bored by Britain. Ireland was alright, potin was a liquor Kai never wanted to try again, but he never spent more than a little under a decade in the UK.

He left for America in the late nineteenth century, deciding he'd screw around and become a lawyer before going and staying with a small group of Native Americans.

Then the first world War hit and Kai just about dodged the drafts. He always found it ironic how it was called 'The Great War'. There was nothing great about it. People died. Families grieved. Kai drank.

Then of course prohibition came around and Kai became a rum runner, driving rum and whiskey and whine hidden in straw-filled coffins. He never drank any of it himself, no he knew that most of it was watered down or topped off with coffin liqueur and he preferred his drinks to not taste like sewage.

Prohibition came and went then the second World War came around and he didn't manage to dodge the drafts this time. He was sent off to France, this time without any laughter or drink, where he was shot for the first time. Truth be told, it was on him for being the first to run out but it was still two bullets to the liver that were remarkably painful. The medics and doctors were confused as to how he managed to survive two shots like that, but they all fell silent at the other scars on Kai's torso, and no further questions were asked.

He remembered storming a concentration camp in Germany. So many people, so many children, all half starved and half dead. He didn't know how many of those prisoners actually survived after they were freed. He didn't like thinking about it.

The next few decades passed without much trouble. The Cold War simmered all the way through the '70s and '80s and Kai managed to avoid getting drafted to Vietnam or Korea.

Then, in the late '90s or early 2000's, Kai met him. John Bishop. Sweet. Kind. Caring.

Manipulative. Two-faced. Cruel.

Kai had thought of him as a friend. Kai had loved him. The key word here is 'had'.

After a few years of happiness, Bishop confirmed what exactly Kai was, and Kai was taken by the EPF. Captured and sedated and tattooed and whipped into obedience, his back heavily scared from the punishment. At some point he snapped, whatever sanity he had retained gone in an instant. He can't remember what triggered it. He just knows that he tore apart every God damn guard that got in his way.

But he couldn't kill Bishop. He just... couldn't.

He crumbled to the ground and wept like a kid.

For whatever cruel reason, Bishop decided to... 'upgrade' Kai. He made Kai a doctor, knowing full well what he would need him for. Kai was powerful and smart and valued his freedom more than almost anything else, all Bishop needed to do was promise Kai release as long as he created what Bishop wanted.

And he did.

But Bishop was never happy with the result. Something was always wrong with whatever Kai had made. And the mysterious containers of green ooze Bishop had shipped in from somewhere didn't seem to be doing anything. Kai explained again and again that he needed DNA from something created with whatever method Bishop was trying to duplicate. And, of course, no one could find that.

It was a little over fifteen years before the missing piece was found. Kai remembered how he had been sleeping when he was suddenly woken by guards running, shouting something about an invasion.

Kai immediately knew what was happening. The Kraang were back.

He had silently hoped that the EPF would be hit by whatever weapons the Kraang were using, that would give him a chance to escape and be free again. But the hit never came.

What did come, however, was a sudden surge of energy. Kai could feel them, could feel their spirit, strong and fighting and alive. He could feel the other warriors as well. Red and orange and purple and blue. And for the first time in fifteen years, he was happy.

Then that happiness quickly died when he realized that Bishop would do anything to get his hands on that kind of power.

And he did.

Kai remembers the way he wanted to scream when Donatello was first carried into his lab, he remembers how scared he was for them, and he remembers how he promised he would protect them and get them out of here.

And he was going to.

His body was dead, yes, but Kai is a stubborn bastard and will do anything for those he loves. He was dead and he was reaching out for Donnie's mind when he was suddenly pulled away, wrapped in orange chains.

Now here he was, chained up again, in the mind-space of a very pissed of box turtle. This was not going to end well.

Art time! Only one sketch cause I was busy writing this behemoth of a chapter haha

Chapter Text

Two weeks. Two. Fucking. Weeks.

Nothing.

They had heard nothing from Kai. Not. A single. Thought.

Two weeks since Kai died. Two weeks since Donnie killed him.

They hadn't been eating. They had been force fed twice since Kai died. Force fed twice by some guard that carelessly shoved a tube down Donnie's throat. They had vomited blood after, the inside of their throat bruised and torn from the rough treatment. And Bishop had watched.

They had to endure new 'punishments' as well. When they had snapped after killing Kai, they turned and ripped out another guards throat, going for Bishop before being physically shot down by another guard in the room. The bullet wound on their shoulder was still healing. And, as punishment for lunging at Bishop, they were whipped, harsh lines cut into their soft shell, scars on top of scars.

They hadn't slept in far too long, kept awake by fear and anger and hallucinations of their injured twin. Or their possessed big brother. Or their fading little brother.

Their head felt empty, blank, like a void of nothing. Nothing but the occasional scream for help.

Help. Help.

He had promised to help them. What fucking bullshit. He had seen his chance to get out of this hellish place and he took it. Donnie shouldn't have trusted him.

Their sight swam with visions of violet fire and fighting warriors. Red, orange, purple, blue.

They didn't care. To hell with the past. It didn't matter. To hell with the future. It didn't exist. All that there was was their body and their scars and their cell.

And Raph staring at them from the corner.

"Fuck off." They didn't look at him but he stared at them, pink and yellow eyes staring at them silently.

Donatello felt so unbelievably empty. Empty. Abandoned. Vacant. Worthless.

Empty.

So fucking empty.

They wanted it all to stop. They wanted everything to go away.

Their hands found their neck and they squeezed. After a while, their face began to tingle, pressure building behind their eyes, lungs burning from lack of oxygen.

They didn't stop until they passed out.

They didn't dream. Just nothing but empty darkness. They felt like they were floating, dissociated from their body, nothing but an empty shell.

Empty empty empty.

Donnie.

Mikey.

We'll find you.

He can't. Danger.

We'll find you. We promise.

No more promises. Don't make any more promises.

Don-

Fuck off with your promises.

...

Okay.

Art time! I did a LOT of drawings of Kai today 😌

Chapter Text

Get up.

Raph jolted awake in his bed, sitting up and breathing heavily. His room was dim, red fairy lights fending off the dark that the snapper feared.

Get up. Find. Little brother. Stop.

The voice in his head was ancient and red and worried.

Up. Out. Hurry.

Raphael stood from his bed, shaking a little. Either this voice in his head was causing him unnecessary anxiety, or Raph's Big Brother SenseTM was kicking in because something was wrong.

Go.

Yeah, yeah, Raph's going...

Okay, something is definitely up. 

Raph stood in front of Mikey's train car, a bright orange glow slipping out from under the door. Raph knocked and heard a sudden intake of breath before he slid open the train door, seeing Mikey, crouched on the floor, eyes glowing bright orange, bright cracks creeping up his arms.

Raphael immediately lunged forwards, taking Mikey into his arms and trying to get him out of whatever mystic-trance he was in.

"Mikey, Mikey c'mon big man, snap outta it, please." Mikey shook in his big brother's arms, tears gathering in his glowing eyes, cracks expanding up his arms and Raph can smell his own fear stink, panic clouding his mind as he shakes his little brother. "Mikey! Wake up, please!"

Raph just about registered that Leo had stumbled into the room

"Leo! M-Mikey won't-"

"Yeah, yeah I know. Big blue guy in my head told me." The slider interrupted his brother, kneeling down and checking Mikey's pulse as Raph floundered over his words.

"B-blue guy? What-" Leo interrupted him again.

"Doesn't matter, I'll explain later. We gotta get Mikey in an ice bath before his arms start burning." Leo sounded way too calm for this situation but internally his mind screamed. There was some weird blue dude in his head telling him what to do and how to help, his little brother's heart was running a mile a minute, and Raph was very clearly on the edge of an anxiety attack and having a shaking mess of a big brother whilst trying to stop your little brother from literally shattering was not an ideal situation.

Raph followed Leo into the med-bay, the little box-turtle cradled in the snapper's arms. Leo briskly walked (limped) over to a panel in the med-bay wall, tapping it twice and watching it quickly pull out into a bath-tub like structure that was rapidly filling with cold water and ice. God Donnie was a genius.

Okay, twin admiration later, little brother cool down now.

Leo barely needed to say anything before Raph was right by the side of the tub, carefully placing Mikey in the cold water. The box-turtle gasped slightly when he was encased in ice-cold liquid, and the shock was enough for his ninpo to dissipate, his eyes returning to normal and the cracks ceasing their spread. Leo speaks as soon as Mikey looks in his right mind again.

"What. The hell. Was that, Michael." It was more of a demand than a question and Mikey just sunk deeper into the water, crossing his shaking arms and desperately trying to avoid the question. "Answer me, Mikey."

"I don't know, okay! I was just trying to-"

"Tryin' to what?" Both Mikey and Leo were surprised when Raph spoke up, his tone a lot firmer than it usually was when he talked to Mikey. "What exactly were you tryin' to do that would cause you to start burnin' again? Go on, explain."

Mikey clenched his teeth and his hands balled into fists, claws digging into his palms as he glared at his big brother.

"I was trying to find Donnie!"

"Why-"

"Because that bastard spirit won't tell me anything! I trapped him with me so he won't just leave and he's been here for a fucking month and I have gotten nothing out of him! He won't explain anything! I tried looking into his mind to see where Donnie might be and there's still just nothing! It's like he wants them to stay where they are! And I can't-" His voice broke and his body started to shake, but not from the cold water. "I can't take it anymore! I just- I just want them back! But he- he won't tell me anything! He just keeps saying to let him go! But I- I can't! N-not until I know where they are, not until I can fix this-"

"Mikey, there's nothing to fix-"

"Bullshit!" Mikey stood from the tub, towering over Leo as the slider sat on the floor. "Donnie is in danger, you know that, you can feel that for fucks sake! I am trying to fix all of this so that we can get them back! That's how I cope! That's how I haven't killed myself yet!"

Leo stood.

"Mikey, you'll end up killing yourself if you keep doing this! You know what overworking your ninpo does so why-"

"I don't know, Leo, why would you trap yourself in a prison dimension if you knew you were going to die?!"

"Mike-"

"Fuck off, Raph. Go on, tell me, fearless leader. Tell me why you would do that? Wait you don't need to because I already fucking know! I have my coping mechanisms, you have yours. I don't judge you for how you deal with your shit, so you shouldn't judge me for how I deal with mine."

Leo reached out to Mikey, trying to place his hand on his shoulder.

"I can judge when you're being self-destructive-"

Mikey slapped Leo's hand away.

"We're all being self-destructive! Do you really think I'm that naïve? You think I don't know why you're always wearing Don's hoodie? You think I can't smell when Raph's been drinking? I'm not stupid, Leo!"

A large hand reached out and grasped Mikey's shoulder.

"Mikey, please-"

"Don't fucking touch me!"

He almost fell out of the tub as he shoved Raph away, stepping out of the cold water and kicking the side of the tub, making it retract back into the wall. For a moment he stood, water dripping off of his body as he shook with anger and frustration. Mikey looked like he was about to snap, every muscle in his body tense and ready, but the snap never came. After a minute or two of just standing there, Mikey just. Walked out.

"Leo..."

"Raph."

"We're losin' him."

"We're losing everyone."

"We... we'll find them, right..?"

"..."

"Leo..?"

"I... I don't know..."

Art time! Only one piece today cause I was mainly focused on getting this done :')

Chapter Text

One..

Two...

Two months gone.

Where is he..?

Where did he go..?

They don't know...

What was their name..? They can't remember anymore. There are letters carved into their left wrist, messily scarred over. They can just barely remember a life before. Brothers. Fathers. Home.

Home.

They want to go home.

Where is home? Not here. Here is cold and dark and smells like blood. Home is warm and bright and smells like peppermint and cinnamon and dandelions.

They can taste blood on their tongue and they're breathing heavily. There's a man beneath them, a gaping red void where his throat should be. They swallow the literal lump in their throat. Hungry. They're hungry.

So. Hungry.

Their teeth meet something hard and they break through it almost easily. Something in them screams at them to stop, but at the same time there's something screeching at them to keep going.

Hungry. Eat. Devour.

There was a sound like footsteps and they growled. Their kill. It was theirs.

A sudden hard impact in their ribs made them hiss but they stayed where they were, their teeth clenched around something. Bone. It was bone.

Then there was a laugh and they froze. A kick to their head and they were on the floor, panic making them freeze and just lay there. Play dead. Can't hurt.

A leering, condescending voice. A foot pressed hard into their side. They wheezed pathetically at the pain.

Pain pain hurt stop stop please.

They distantly realized they were saying the words out loud.

Help help they need help someone please please-

There's no help coming. The pain won't stop. Bleeding, blood, blood in their mouth. Flesh and bone and cartilage sitting heavy in their stomach. Eat eat cannibal pathetic.

No no stop stop it please.

Child kid they're just a kid. Help help.

There is no help.

Gone gone everything gone. He is gone. Danger danger hurt help no help.

Help brothers please find. No no no can't danger can't. Don't can't danger. Hurt hurt please stop no more-

"Pathetic little animal~"

OH BOY TIME FOR ART AFTER ALL THAT SHIT!

Chapter Text

Of all the days that Donnie's been missing, this one hurt the most.

Today was supposed to be happy, fun! Leo and Donnie were turning seventeen! There was gonna be dancing and cake and gifts!

But now it's been four months since they were taken and Leo wants to rip his own heart out and eat it. Four months since he last saw them. Four months of fear. Four months of waiting. Four months of loneliness. Four months of pain.

The weird blue guy in his head that decided to show up out of nowhere reassured him again and again that Kai (that weird green Yokai dude what the fuck even is he??) had a plan and that he needed to trust him.

Yeah, no, not gonna happen boss man.

Leonardo was almost fully healed. His limp had cleared up and he had full movement in his wrist again, his carapace had almost fully healed itself and his ribs were no longer actively trying to impale his lungs. Now he just needed to build his stamina back up and everything would be fine! He would be useful again! He could help look for Donnie!

He... He could find them.

Yeah.

Yeah, he could- would find them.

A singular blue and purple box sat at the end of his bed because of course Donnie had finished their gift for him months ago, and of course they had programmed a drone to automatically deliver it to Leo's room.

He didn't want to open it. If he opened it then that gift would be the last thing he had of them. He didn't want this to be the last thing he had of them. No, he would sit in his room, in Donnie's hoodie, listening to that DnD podcast they liked, and he would be fucking happy because they- they weren't gone they were just missing, they were just missing and he would find them and bring them home and never let them go anywhere again because he is not losing them again. No no never again he is never letting them go again-

No. Get yourself together, Leon. Just open the fucking box it's not that hard.

Okay never mind this is really fucking hard.

Leonardo let out a shaky breath as he pulled the box into his lap, the surface shiny and smooth. He ran his hand over the top of the box and there was a slight hum before the box opened up, a purple hologram of a heart monitor line popping up.

Then there was a voice.

"Salutations, Nardo," Leo let out a sob at the sound of his twin's voice. "If you are receiving this Genius Built™ gift, then we have both reached seventeen years of life. Congratulations on not dying! Now, onto the contents of my gift for you..."

Remember how after the not-invasion, when my shell was still bad and you were still recovering from... that, you would let me listen to your heartbeat when I was too scared to sleep or just to calm me down? Well I... I decided to make you something similar. Return the favor, so to speak.

I have recorded about five minutes of my own heartbeat and set it to play on loop whenever this box is open along with a hologram of my heart beat. Yes, yes I'm a genius, I know.

But... Jokes aside, even though it is scientifically impossible in every way, you... are my twin. My brother. And... I love you.

"Happy birthday, Fearless Champion."

Leo was sobbing violently into the sleeve of Donnie's hoodie as their heartbeat started to play all around him. He cried so hard his ribs hurt, his entire body violently shaking as he sobbed so loud the surface might be able to hear him.

He felt so hollow without Donnie by his side, like a piece of him had been ripped away and trapped in that fucking prison dimension.

Eventually he stopped crying, instead just breathing heavily with clenched teeth, shaking with frustration and grief.

He was going to find Donnie and bring them home.

Or die trying.

Art time! I really like Kai's side profile and I'm not sure why 😌

Chapter Text

Three months. He had been here for three months. He had been away from them for three months.

Kai was fucking tired.

The orange chains around his wrists were tight and his knees had gone numb. Ironic how he still had bodily sensations even though he was a literal spirit.

Then Michelangelo was in front of him, eyes narrowed.

"Do you know what day it is?" Mikey's voice was cold and blunt and Kai glared at the box-turtle.

"It's Donatello and Leonardo's birthday."

"Yeah, and Donnie would be here if you told me where they were." Mikey crouched down in front of Kai and the Yokai almost growled.

"If I tell you where they are, then I am putting you all in danger."

"In danger from what?! What is so dangerous that you'll keep valuable information to yourself just so we don't get hurt?! Why are you so hellbent on keeping Donnie away from us?!"

Kai's jaw tensed and he jolted forwards, only stopped by the chains on his wrists.

"Because I refuse to lose you all again!"

"If you really cared you would tell us where they are!"

Kai. Snapped.

"You think I don't care?!" He yanked down on the chains and they broke as he stood, towering above the small box-turtle, teeth bared and markings glowing bright green. "I have been around for a millennia! I have seen and experienced all the horrors of man! All for the chance that I might get to see them again! See you again! And you have the nerve to say I don't care?! I know exactly what is happening and where Donnie is and I was going to get them out but you took me away from them the second I died! I was going to save them and bring them home to you but no that wasn't good enough was it?! You want to do it yourself even though you will be trapped just like they are! You want to be some hero because you don't see yourself as worthy! I am already dead! I have nothing left to lose but you could lose everything if I let you find them! And I refuse to let any of you lose each other! I refuse to lose any of you! Never again!"

Michelangelo was a little more than shocked and the full weight of Kai's words hit him. Kai had died for Donnie. Kai had died in order to save Donnie and Mikey had just ruined his plan. Kai was going to save Donnie but Mikey was too fucking selfish to see that. Tears sprung up in his eyes and he let out an unsteady breath, a shaky smile spreading on his lips.

"You really do care about them, don't you..?" Kai's expression turned from anger to just barely contained grief.

"Yes, I care about Donnie! I fucking love them like my own! I love all of you! That's why I was trying to save them! That's why I sacrificed myself! Was it really that hard to understand?!" Kai's hands flexed in an almost uncomfortable way and he clenched his fists, shaking with a thousand years worth of frustration and anger and grief.

And Michelangelo hugged him.

The Yokai trembled in the arms of the small mutant, tears dripping down his face. He didn't even know he'd started crying. Kai crumbled in the arms of the boy, the child, and wept, sorrow and pain weighing him down like bags of sand.

When Kai eventually stopped crying, Mikey spoke.

"I... don't know what happened to you in the past whatever it was, it wasn't your fault."

Kai pulled away from him, face blank and tear stained as he looked down at Mikey.

"I don't need to be comforted by a child." Cold. His voice was cold.

Mikey looked like he was about to say something but he stopped himself, instead just looking away from Kai, seeming almost guilty.

"You can go," He looked back to Kai with a sad smile. "Bring them back to us, okay?"

Kai felt slight shame at how sad Mikey looked, but he didn't say anything. He just turned away and left Mikey's mind, finally free to go, following the purple ribbon of Donatello's spirit.

Michelangelo opened his teary eyes, sitting on his bed cross-legged with his hands in his lap. Something like relief suddenly washed over him. Kai was gonna get Donnie back.

Kai was gonna bring them home.

They... they were coming home.

Art time! This time without a ton of Kai drawings and instead with a big thank you for 2000 hits :D

Chapter Text

Pain.

Pain pain pain.

Stop stop please.

Tied up. Chains. Hurt. Pain, pain in their shell. One, two, twenty strikes. Stinging burning hurt.

Laughing. Laughing, he's laughing.

"Look at you crying. You brought this upon yourself, you know~"

Another painful impact to their shell and they choked, choked on something. Saliva? No, a gag. Stop they want it to stop please please-

I'm here. I'm back- What- what are they doing to you?!

Hurt stop please it hurts-

Oh fuck no.

The chains snapped.

Art time!

Chapter Text

Donatello's mind was dark except for him. Glowing and bright and illuminating the void.

They glared at him.

"Where have you been?"

Kai steps forward. Donnie steps back.

"It doesn't matter-"

"Yes, yes it does, Kai! You promised me that you wouldn't leave! And what did you do? You left. You left me for three fucking months-"

"Donnie, listen, I-"

"No! You don't get to explain! You don't get to apologize! You left me to go insane! I can't remember my own fucking name without you but you still left!" They were shaking, tears in their eyes and Kai realized just how strikingly similar Donnie really was to their siblings. They bit back the sob that was clawing up their throat. "Do you have any idea what he's done to me? What he's doing to me?! Do you even care-"

That's the second time in under an hour that someone has questioned how much Kai really cared.

"Of course I know! I know everything he's done to you because he did it to me! I tried! I tried to get out over and over and over but your little brother had me trapped, demanding I tell him where you are but I couldn't because that would put all of you in danger!" His voice was breaking and Donnie's expression remained the same but fucking hell they wanted to scream.

"You promised to keep me safe, you promised you'd never leave me, you lied-!"

"I never lied to you!"

"And how can I trust that?! I don't even know what you are! You could be some demon for all I know!"

"I am a demon!"

Donatello froze.

"What..?"

"I'm a demon! An inari, a kitsune, whatever you want to call me, I am a demon!" His teeth were bared but his expression showed something like grief. Fear. "I never told you because I didn't know how you would react and I didn't want to lose you again! I was- I was scared!" Kai is breathing heavily and there are tears running down his face. He's talking too fast for Donnie to speak. "I didn't- I couldn't lose you again!" He's breaking down, he knows that, but he can't stop himself. "I've waited over nine hundred years for you and I-I just don't want to lose you again! I don't want to lose any of you again! You mean too much to me and- I just- I can't let anyone else I love be lost! I can't do it again-"

"SHUT UP!" He gasped slightly when they yelled and Kai's eyes focused on Donatello's face, tear riddled and tired. "You think I would be angry just for that? Kai, you left me for three months! You let yourself get killed- let me kill you- without even thinking to explain your plan! Then it goes wrong and I'm alone for three months! I am more angry that you promised never to leave me but somehow still left, than I am angry that you're a literal demon fox. I am tired of promises being made and then broken."

Donnie looked... broken, suddenly. Like their glass heart had just shattered without warning.

"I'm... I'm tired of being lied to... Everyone lies to me. About what they want from me, about who they are... about how they feel. I'm tired of it, Kai..." Green and brown eyes. The eyes of a warrior. The eyes of a child. "Don't lie to me anymore. And don't make any more promises."

They said that last part with something like a smile, and the kitsune pulled the softshell into his arms, holding them, vowing never to let them go again.

Art time! We got some sweet babies, a scene from this chapter, and a VERY pissed off snapper!

Wooo there will be 3 images eventually I just gotta redraw oneee

Chapter Text

Time passes differently in the mind. What feels like an hour in the mind could be anywhere from a second to a day in reality.

The first option is remarkably useful in situations where large amounts of information need to be explained quickly.

Kai was sat with Donatello in their mind, Donnie's head resting against his shoulder as they asked him questions.

"So, if your body is dead, how are you here?"

Kai smiled slightly and hummed.

"Hm. Good question. But I can answer most questions about most things. My working theory is that kitsune like me are stubborn bastards that don't like having our freedom being taken away, and Death is just another captor so we do our best to escape. And so while our bodies are dead, our spirits persist until we're ready to leave." Donnie glanced up at Kai, something almost like melancholy in their eyes.

"When will you be ready to leave?"

Kai smiled, sharp teeth shining in the non-existent light.

"Not for a long time, child."

Donnie smiled back and closed their eyes, leaning a little more of their weight on Kai.

"You said you didn't want to lose me again."

"I don't."

"What do you mean by that? You say it like you've met me before."

"I have," Donnie opened their eyes again, curiosity and confusion in green and brown. "I haven't met your mind or body before, but I've met your spirit. You're the reincarnation of someone very dear to me."

"I think I know who you mean. I've seen them in my dreams. Or, I've seen their memories. You were that small fox, weren't you?" Kai nods, expression warm and peaceful.

"I was. You saved me, brought me home and raised me with your brother- your brother's spirit I mean, last I checked Raphael isn't a three thousand year old kitsune." Donnie laughed a little, small and sweet and childish.

"No, he's not. But I must admit, I'm still confused. You're a little black fox in my- their memories. Why?"

"Kitsune don't gain a 'human' form or the ability to transform until they reach a century old. I was... five when you found me, I believe."

Donatello was silent for a moment and they didn't look at Kai.

"So... they didn't get to see you in this form?" Kai tensed a little and looked away.

"They didn't."

"Can I ask what happened?"

Kai sighed slightly. This question was inevitable, he knew that, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"They were sick. Some kind of illness or infection that slowly killed them after the first invasion. I... don't like to think about it."

Donnie nodded, their voice soft and understanding.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it. What about Raph's spirit? What happened to him?" Kai huffed out a bitter laugh.

"I don't like to think about that either... But, I can tell you what he was like."

Donnie smiled.

"Tell me about him."

"He was a kitsune like me, carved me my own mask like his for my century. He was my sensei, my father. He was sweet and kind-hearted, but I must admit he was hard on me sometimes. When you- they died, I was... a little more than upset-"

"As you should be."

"Yes, yes, you're amazing. But I really didn't take their death well. I ran. I didn't know what to do without them and I broke down. There was a storm and I absolutely would have ended up lost if he hadn't followed me. We fought and he pinned me, forced me to face my grief, let me cry with him. He taught me to face my emotions and use them in slightly less self-destructive ways." Kai was smiling sadly, a millennia of grief flashing in his neon eyes. Donnie nudged him slightly and he looked down at them.

"I'm glad he did. I know you can't exactly die by conventional means, but even if it was one, single decision that could have changed everything and taken away my chance to meet you again, I'm glad you didn't make that decision."

Kai chuckled slightly as images flashed in his mind. A cliff, a knife, a pistol, pills.

"I'm glad too."

Donatello's expression changed from soft to almost mischievous.

"So, all powerful fox-spirit, I know you can make illusions, change forms, and read minds. What other powers do you have?"

Kai grinned.

"I can manipulate the elements. Summon fire and wind, change the path of lightning, turn a tidal wave into a ripple. And, I'm surprisingly good with guns, but that's more of a skill than a power."

Donnie hummed in interest.

"You've been around for a millennia. You've seen most of history. Any favorite points?" Kai thought for a second, smiling.

"Inside Japan, I gave an emperor, I can't remember which, nightmares about his skin decaying until he was just living bones, because he had taken a young girl as his concubine. I laughed with the girl when we heard him wake up screaming." Donnie laughed a little, teeth bared in a grin as they looked up at Kai.

"And outside of Japan?"

"France. The eighteenth or nineteenth century, I met someone. I can't remember his name but he was beautiful. He was honourable, never did anything to me that I wouldn't want, and he played the violin so well it made me cry once. He's one of the only men I've ever loved." And one hell of a bedfellow, but Kai didn't say that part aloud. Donnie smirked slightly.

"Wooow, so the big bad demon can feel love~"

Kai laughed and flicked Donnie's forehead.

"Oh, hush, child. As if you don't dream about some space-woman and an intergalactic spy, or whatever he is." They gasped in mock offense.

"Scoff! Atomic Lass and Jupiter Jim are childhood crushes of mine! Nothing more!" Kai just grinned.

"Whatever you say, child."

The two were silent for a while, just enjoying each other's presence and warmth. But Donnie still had questions to ask and Kai still had answers to give.

"Our numbers, what do they mean?"

"It's a tier system. One being the lowest, or weakest tear, and seventeen being the highest, the strongest. The most dangerous."

"Why am I 17-10 and why are you 17-09?"

"Neither of us are a number. But, I was here before you, so I have the number before yours. We're the only '17's left in the facility."

"Why?"

"Bishop killed the others."

"Oh."

Silence.

"What's your plan to get us out of here?"

Kai's expression was firm.

"I'm going to burn this place to the ground with Bishop inside."

Determination flashed bright purple in their eyes.

"Then let's burn it all."

The two of them stood and Kai looked down at Donnie.

"You know I won't stop until that bastard is ash."

"I know. So let's not stop until that fucker is nothing but cinders."

The chains snapped.

Unfortunately, no art today, BUT have some sneaks at a lil mini comic I've made of a scene in the next couple of chapters :D

Chapter Text

The chains snapped and Donnie was out, growling and hissing as a guard tried to pin them, the gun in his hand knocked away when the softshell lunged forwards, teeth bared at the guards neck.

Kai didn't stop them when their teeth snapped closed around the guards jugular. They knew what they were doing and they didn't care. Blood tasted good.

Bishop had been pulled out of the room and Donnie saw the whip in the corner by the broken chains. Purple flames engulfed it and when they disappeared there was nothing but ash.

Always hated whips. What is it with men and whips?

Donatello huffed a short laugh and stood, blood dripping down their snout as they licked their lips.

Don't get used to that taste. I'm stopping your cannibalistic tendencies as soon as I get you out of this place.

"Sure, fox." Was all they said, their voice cracked and hoarse from not using it for so long.

There were more guards in the hall and Donnie grinned like the mad scientist they were, holding their arms out as if welcoming the spray of bullets, blocked by the sudden glowing purple wall they summoned, finally able to use their ninpo after months of sedation.

They could almost hear the smirk in Kai's voice.

Nice. My turn.

The wall fell and Donnie's eyes flashed vibrant green as Kai took over, launching forwards as purple fire bloomed up Donnie's arms, and they gladly watched in the backseat of their mind as Kai absolutely decimated those guards.

He sent one guard hurdling into another, both crashing into a wall, leaving a pretty red stain on the ugly white wall. He took another guard's gun right out of his hand and Kai hit him in the head with it, firing a quick shot into the man's chest as he fell, tossing the gun as another guard ran at him. Purple flames engulfed him before he could even reach Kai and Donnie's shared form.

Holy shit, that was cool.

"I'm aware." Kai smirked, still getting used to the feeling of Donatello's body around his spirit.

He- they? Grammar is weird when there's two people in the same body.

The two of them (yeah, that works) walked down the hall, bloodied walls turning into bars. Kai wiped his- Donnie's? -hand across their(plural?) face, in an attempt to wipe away the blood but only managing to smear it more.

Oh we are having such a long shower when we get home.

"Agreed." Kai shook a droplet of blood off his hand, and a sudden, quiet whimper caught his attention. He turned slightly to see a small Kappa crouched in the corner of their cell. A common snapper. 14-09.

We need to help them. All of them.

Kai's expression hardened and he nodded slightly, pressing his palm to the electric lock, purple electricity crackling around him and dancing through the air to the other cells. He was still getting used to the drastic colour change in his mystic; from neon green like his eyes to vibrant purple like Donnie's ninpo.

A buzzing filled the air as who knows how many electric locks got fried, and cage doors swung open, some with Yokai or mutants cautiously stepping out, some empty.

Some with the dead inside.

The small Kappa from before barely acknowledged the softshell as they ran out of the cell, seemingly looking for someone.

Kai's heart ached for that poor child.

A sudden glimpse of a black suit caught his eye and Donnie immediately spoke up.

Dibs!

He's all yours, child.

Donnie grinned and moved through the crowd of confused and scared Yokai and mutants. They would lead them all out of here after they were finished with Bishop.

They turned a corner and found him, backed up against a wall, his eyes narrowed.

Wait, Donnie, something's off.

Donnie ignored Kai, more focused on the man before them. They had their mind back, their body back. And they were gonna make that bastard pay.

A low growl rose in the back of their throat as they approached Bishop, walking at first before launching forwards, teeth bared, ready to tear-

They reached him and a sudden stabbing pain made them choke, the knife in Bishop's hand piercing right through their soft plastron. Donnie saw the grin on Bishop's face and there was a sudden prick in their neck.

Kai panicked.

No! Shit- Don- Donnie, don't listen to whatever he says, please, do anything but listen-

His voice melted away as their mind grew numb, and Bishop's smirk whispered to them.

"Kill them all, cannibal~"

Art time! Couldn't draw much because it was fucking FREEZING today and my hands were colder than a witches tit :'D

Chapter Text

Leonardo sat on his bed, elbows rested on his thighs, right knee bouncing. His twin's heartbeat played all around him, and he had replayed their voice message eight times already.

"Happy Birthday, Fearless Champion."

Leo's jaw clenched and unclenched, teeth aching from the repeated grinding. He had access to Donnie's tracker location but until now he hadn't done anything to try and get them. Hadn't left the lair in months. But now? No, now he had the motivation, a fire set alight inside of him, flickering in time with the echo of Donnie's heartbeat.

Leo stood and took off Donnie's hoodie, tying it around his waist as he walked over to his swords, the hilts of his odachi covered in a thin layer of dust, unused since the invasion almost ten months ago.

He picked up his swords, securing the sheath over his shell and grabbing his arm and leg wraps from a drawer, pulling them on before opening his train door and walking out.

Or trying to, at least.

Leo walked straight into Raphael's broad plastron, stumbling back slightly and hissing a little at his big brother.

"Move." Leonardo's voice was hoarse but stern, pupils narrowed to thin slits as he looked up at the snapper. Raph just blinked, not making any motion to move.

"Where're you goin'?"

Leo pushed past him.

"To find Don."

Raph grabbed his shoulders and (gently) pushed him back into his room.

"Uh-uh, nope. Absolutely not." The slider glared at the snapper, neon blue eyes meeting green in a standoff.

"I'm getting them back, Raph. You can't stop me-" Before he could even reach for his odachi, Raph pushed him slightly to turn him and yanked the swords from their sheath, holding them out of Leo's reach.

"No, you're not. You're stayin' right here-"

"He's gone."

Both Raph and Leo jolted at the sound of their little brother's voice and they both turned to look at him.

"What d'you mean he's gone?" Leo knew immediately who Mikey was talking about and the slider stepped towards the box turtle.

Mikey smiled almost sadly.

"Kai's gone. He's gone to bring Donnie home."

Leo's eyes widened and he immediately went to leave the lair, with or without his swords, but Raph pulled him back.

"Let go of me! I'm going to get them!" His anger and frustration was clear in his voice but Raph's grip stayed firm.

"No, you're not. We don't know what's got 'em and you're still healing-"

"That doesn't mean I can't still fight!"

"I'm not arguin' with you, Leo! You are not goin' out there!"

Tears welled up in Leonardo's eyes and he bared his teeth in a growl.

"Yes, I am! I am finding Donnie and I'm bringing them home and there is nothing you can do about that so let me go!"
Leo writhed out of Raph's grip and made for the exit.

"Mikey."

"On it."

Orange chains curled around Mikey's wrists before launching towards Leo, wrapping around his chest and legs, making him stumble and fall, his fall stopped only by his little brother's chains.

Leo growled in frustration as he struggled, the tears in his eyes dripping down his cheeks. Raph handed Mikey his leader's swords and walked up to Leo, the slider hissing and the snapper responding with a threatening click.

"You are stayin' here and that's final. Do you understand?" Leo just growled and Raph's jaw clenched as he jabbed a finger at his younger brother's plastron, near the cracks that almost mimicked the cracks in his own shell. "Do you understand, Leo?!"

"Fine! Don't come crying to me when you get bit by our feral fucking sibling!" Raph ignored him, just glancing back at Mikey before turning and walking to the exit, sai clutched in a white-knuckled grip.

He was the biggest in his family, the biggest sibling, he didn't get hurt easy. Whatever had Donnie trapped, he would fight.

And he would die if he had to.

Art time! Only one piece cause I was busy cause my bestie was being needy😌

Chapter Text

Something was in their mouth. Something lean and tense.

It tasted like blood.

They spat whatever it was out, gagging slightly as something was dragged out of their throat as they spat out the bloody mass and that-

That was an artery.

Attached to a heart.

Bits of splintered plastron lay scattered on the blood-soaked floor, a red void in the chest of a body.

Their breathing was heavy and they fought every instinct they had not to dive back into that small Yokai's chest and eat.

There was a number tattooed on the corpse's neck.

14-09.

Corpses. So many corpses. Each with a void in their throat or chest. Dead. Dead they were all dead they killed them all-

Donatello...

His voice was shaky and soft. Warm and scared. He was...

He was scared of them.

No- no no no, I'm not scared of you, I'm scared for you. Donnie you need to get up and run-

There was a impact to the back of their head and Donnie fell forwards into the cavern of the Kappa's empty chest.

Bishop pressed the heel of his shoe into the nape of Donnie's neck, keeping their face shoved into the child's corpse.

"Aw, I'm sorry, did I ruin your little plan to be the saviour of all these pathetic things? How cute..~ You really are just nothing more than a pathetic little animal~" His words were twisted in a condescending coo and Donnie let out a shaky whimper into the open wound on the small Kappa's chest. "Oh, you're crying now? That's adorable," He pressed their head further into the empty and shattered body. "What's the matter? Not hungry anymore, cannibal?"

Donnie sobbed.

Kai had enough.

"Get your foot... off of their neck..." Bishop smirked at the familiar voice.

"Well that's interesting... You're supposed to be dead. What are you doing in this animal's body?" He pressed his foot down harder and Kai growled, the sound slightly different from his usual snarl, altered by Donnie's voice box.

"Setting them free." Kai pressed his palms to the floor and pushed, twisting around and making Bishop stumble when the mutant knocked the man's foot away. Bishop laughed.

"Oh! Finally fighting back, are we? When was the last time you did this? Ah- I remember. Sixteen years ago~ You recall what happened last time, don't you?"

Kai's scowl turned to a smirk and Bishop's pupils widened. Oh the cute traits of a narcissist~

Kai stepped forwards. Bishop stood still.

"You know, every day I've been here, I've thought of how I would kill you." Another step forward. Bishop stepped back and grinned.

"Oh please, you can't kill me. I have-"

"Yes, yes, you've got my star ball. You can control me, make me bend to your whim, prevent me from killing you. But you didn't let me finish, love," Kai stepped closer and purple fire bloomed up his bloodstained arms. "Every day I've thought of how I would kill you, even though I know I can't kill you," He reached forwards and traced his- their clawed fingers up Bishop's arm, to his jaw. "But I know a very pissed of turtle that would be more than happy to tear you apart~" He cupped Bishop's jaw and didn't even flinch when the man stabbed his army knife into the softshell's stomach. Kai laughed. "I'm afraid that doesn't work anymore, Johnny~"

Kai's eyes flashed purple and they snarled, teeth bared as they surged forwards.

Art time!

Chapter Text

Leonardo sat with Mikey's arms around him, no longer bound in chains, just held by the embrace of his little brother. He'd stopped crying a while ago, his cheeks feeling cracked from the dried salt of his tears. His mind was blank as he leaned on the box turtle's shoulder.

Raph had left... what, half an hour ago now? Yeah, probably about half an hour...

Leo had been non-verbal for about twenty of those thirty minutes, his mind shutting down after ten minutes of writhing and sobbing and screaming.

Mikey was tracing the cracks in his shell, gentle touches over his carapace that calmed his simultaneously overstimulated and numb body. Leo was limp in Mikey's arms, so still he could have been dead.

But, alas, the world wasn't that kind to him.

He would honestly rather be dead. He didn't like this feeling. This feeling of overwhelming numbness, a buzzing in his bones with a black void of nothingness in his stomach. He wanted to look up from Mikey's shoulder and beg him to kill him, beg Mikey to hang him from the ceiling with his chains or pull him apart piece by piece. He wanted to lift his wrists to his mouth and rip his veins out with his own teeth. Wanted to take his sword and plunge it through the middle seam of his plastron into his stomach.

He didn't want to be here anymore. Didn't want to be stuck waiting didn't want to wait wait wait-

"Stop..." Mikey's voice was shaky and quiet. Tears dripped from Mikey's face to Leo's shoulder. Leo wanted to tell Mikey not to cry. He wanted to sit up and hold Mikey's face, wipe away his tears and tell him everything will be okay.

But he couldn't.

Mikey was shaking as he held his brother. He could hear the thoughts in Leo's head, sent through some kind of mind-meld connection he didn't know he'd formed. He'd broken the connection when Leo thought about stabbing himself, the image too vivid and clear for him to bear.

He didn't say anything else, he couldn't, he just shook as he held his older brother, both unable to speak, both unable to move from their spot on the floor.

Eventually, Leo could move again, lifting his arms to wrap around Mikey's back, holding him closer as the two of them sat tangled in each other's arms. This didn't feel right without Donnie. Didn't feel right without Raph.

Leo thought about how Casey Jr had said that Leo and Mikey were the last ones left in the future. Is this what they had to deal with? This insufferable feeling that something was missing and wrong every time they held each other?

Leo's surprised he didn't kill himself sooner.

He didn't know how his future self survived that long without his twin and big brother. It didn't make sense. How could he live that long without the other half to his soul? Leo was a mess without Donnie and they'd been gone for months. How did he survive without them for years in the future?

It didn't make sense.

How could he live without them?

Art time! 

Chapter Text

In theory, there was no real reason why Bishop was the way he was. He had good, kind parents that prayed to the East every day. He lived in a good neighbourhood in a good house with full meals on the table every day.

He was never bullied, not for his religion or his skin or anything. He was just always different. He just didn't care.

He didn't care when his mother cried after he fell out a tree and was hospitalized for nine months. He didn't care when his grandmother devoloped dementia and couldn't remember her own name. He didn't care when his first girlfriend died in a car crash.

Bishop was nineteen when he entered the military. People told him he was a hero fighting for his country. He only cared about the power he felt when he was firing a gun. He felt invincible.

He was invincible.

He felt like a god.

When he read the entirety of the Bible he realized just how stupid humanity was. Quoting passages from the bible to justify bigotry and genocide.

It was stupid and genius at the same time.

In his mind, and the minds of so many others, anything could be justified by using religion. Anything at all. Countries and governments do it everywhere. He could do it.

He was a god.

But being a god comes with a price.

Bishop was discharged from the army after shooting his bunkmate in the leg. Improper use of a firearm or something like that. He wasn't sorry. There was no reason to do it he just did it. He was a god and he could do anything.

Most people think that his lack of empathy began after his parents died. They had been in the towers when the first plane hit. Bishop had watched it on TV as it happened. He saw the first plane hit and he knew his parents were dead.

And he didn't care.

He had no reason to care. He was a god, gods don't care. Tradgedies happen every day and the gods do nothing. Allah didn't do anything when Bishop's grandmother was losing her mind to dementia no matter how much his mother prayed, why would they do anything now?

He watched the second plane hit and while those around him cried and gawked and prayed, he did nothing.

Bishop was twenty one when he joined the EPF. He made some excuse that he wanted to work for the good of the planet, but really he just wanted the power.

He worked his way up from a guard to an officer to an agent. He had control over the entire New York Sector. And it was delicious. He had control over who lived and died. He had control over everything that happened.

And, well, every god has soldiers, right?

He wanted strong soldiers like the angels in the Bible. He was going to be Biblical. He would take over the American Sector of the EPF, then he would be the director of the entire organization. He had a plan and it would work perfectly.

Bishop found the Hidden City and took homeless Yokai off the streets. Captured them and used them to try and make his perfect soldier.

But nothing seemed to be working.

And then Bishop met Kai. And knew immediately that he had to have him.

Kai was beautiful. Long black hair and bright green pupils and narrow fox-like eyes.

He was perfect.

And oh so easy to manipulate.

Bishop was kind with him. They went from close friends to lovers in the space of one night. Bishop had traced his scars and kissed his face and called him beautiful. All while slowly getting the Yokai more and more drunk.

Bishop told Kai that he loved him and the second Kai revealed his tails Bishop knew he was his.

He turned in an instant, pinning the kitsune down and drugging him, cutting his long hair short and branding his name on the back of his neck.

He took Kai back to the EPF and tortured him. He was going to make the perfect soldier but Bishop had to break him first.

And he did. Kai snapped and burst into flames, tearing apart everyone in his way. Apart from Bishop.

He had bared his teeth at the mans neck before he crumbled and cried on the floor. And Bishop ripped his star from his heart.

Kai was going to make him his perfect soldier one way or another.

But even after months of testing, nothing worked. Bishop was getting tired. He made a deal with some Yokai by the name of Draxum. He would protect the hidden city as long as Draxum supplied him with the materials to make his soldiers.

But the Yokai had kept something from him and he couldn't figure out what.

Fortunately, he didn't need to.

Kai said how he needed the DNA of something created with Draxum's method in order to create a stable environment for his soldier to grow.

And oh Bishop searched.

Searched for years. Searched so long that he had lost a hundred men to feral Yokai.

And then he found it.

The perfect specimen.

Fast and strong and glowing bright purple and red and orange and blue, racing through the sky to fight the invaders.

He waited months for the perfect moment, triggered just the right alarm at just the right time and caught that softshell so easily it seemed surreal.

And now he had his soldier. Formed from blood and green ooze.

But he never got that chance to see it grow. Never got that chance to take everything he wanted.

Never got that chance to be the god he thought he deserved to be.

He took his knife and slashed at it's neck when it lunged towards, the cut shallow and barely bleeding as it pinned him to the blood soaked floor, blood he had forced it to spill.

And for the first time in his life he felt fear. He was going to die. He wasn't-

He didn't get a chance to finish that thought before the softshell ripped out his throat with their teeth and ate.

Art time! Only one piece though because I was a lil busy :')

Chapter Text

Donatello felt this immense feeling of power and relief as their teeth crunched through Bishop's spine. He was finally gone. Dead. They had killed him.

And oh blood has never tasted so sweet.

They ate like a queen as they swallowed bone and muscle whole, some cannibalistic instinct purring from their hind brain.

Don't get too used to it. It'll become an addiction if you're not careful.

"I'll be fine..." They mumbled into the corpse's neck, licking blood from their lips and teeth.

When they crunched through Bishop's collarbone they knew they needed to stop. Donnie pulled back and looked at the corpse they had practically devoured. And they felt nothing.

They laughed a little.

"Some god you turned out to be..."

Donnie flinched slightly at the sudden sensory ick they got from blood drying on their skin and they stood. Their stomach felt too full, they had eaten too much. They wiped their face with their hand and grimaced a little at the sensation of more blood smearing over their mouth and cheek.

The restroom's down the hall. You should clean yourself up there.

They hummed in response and walked past the corpses on the floor towards the bathroom.

White tiles, unmarred by blood, oblivious to the carnage outside. The sink was stained red after Donnie used it and they mourned only the blood of the innocent Yokai and mutants they had killed. Not the guards or Bishop. Just the other prisoners. The ones that had suffered like they did.

They almost didn't recognize their reflection in the mirror. Hollow cheeks and a skinny neck. A scarred brand over their right cheek. They felt so small suddenly, their ribs clear through their soft plastron.

There's one more thing we need to do.

"How many more do I have to kill?" They sighed, tired as they crouched down on the floor. Kai felt their exhaustion.

Want me to take over?

Please...

He stood and walked out of the bathroom, hands wrapped around them like he was trying to hold Donnie.

Kai walked through the bloodstained halls, towards the laboratory he had spent so much time in.

It was dark save for the blue glow of a tank.

With a baby inside.

Is that..?

Kai let Donnie take control again.

A baby. She's yours.

They took a step towards the tank, pressing their palm to the glass.

Save her. Take her home.

The baby opened her eyes. One eye green just like Kai's. The other bright purple like Donnie's ninpo.

She had purplish-pink markings over both eyes in a placement eerily similar to Leo's and Donnie immediately made their way to the top of the tank, reaching into the cool stasis liquid and pulling her out, cradling her in their arms.

"She's... mine?"

She's yours. Bishop wanted a soldier but I could never let that happen. That's why I had to wait before I could save you. I needed to save you both.

Donatello's breathing grew shaky and they held the small child close, touching their forehead to hers, some kind of parental instinct to keep her close overwhelming them. The baby softshell chirped and tears dripped from Donnie's eyes. She was theirs. Their child.

We need to go. Are you ready?

"Yeah... Yeah I'm ready. Lets go home..."

Art time! Remember those sneak peaks I gave you? They were for this!

Chapter Text

Donnie walked through the halls with the tiny baby softshell in their arms- their baby.

She was... So small. So small compared to them. Admittedly not as small as Donnie was as a new-born but still- they were a teeny turtle before being mutated, and from what they knew, this baby had been grown from an embryo and probably engineered to be closer to the size of a human new-born.

"If... If Bishop wanted soldiers, then why did he have you make a baby? Did he want to wait for her to grow up or something?" To anyone else they might have looked a little insane, carrying a baby and talking to themself, but there was no one to see them.

Not anymore.

She originally wasn't meant to be a baby. But I kept her like this so Bishop couldn't use her. And he kind of killed me before I could induce her aging.

Donnie's grip on their child tightened a little as they stepped over the corpse of the little snapping Kappa.

"Bishop didn't kill you..."

Donnie-

"Kai, I killed you."

You were drugged. You didn't have a-

"I did! I could have stopped," The baby looked up at them, chirping a little. "I-I could have stopped myself but I- I wasn't strong enough, Kai, and- and now I have a baby and what if I can't protect her either?! What if I can't keep her safe-"

Donatello. Stop. You're thinking too much. Bishop was the one that killed me. You may have held the knife but he made you do it. You didn't have a choice, you hear me? You didn't have a choice. But now, you do. You can protect her. You will protect her. I'll help you.

Donnie was crying, tears dripping onto their daughter's face as she chirped curiously and reached her chubby little hands up. They held one of her small hands in theirs, their sobs calming a little as they looked into those bright, wide eyes with star-shaped pupils.

They held her to their chest and churred, the sound small and broken after not being made for so long. She churred back, innocent and sweet.

Donnie would burn the world to hear that little sound again.

Lets start by burning this facility first. The world can wait.

Donnie laughed a little, smiling as their baby wrapped her little hand around their middle finger. They formed a quick sling-construct with their ninpo to hold the little softshell in before they pressed their free hand to the wall, a new determination sparking in their soul.

"Do what you have to do."

And oh Kai let it all burn.

Purple fire spread down the wall and set the facility ablaze. They watched the fire burn for a second before turning to the door they didn't realize they'd approached.

That... That door had a glass front. That showed the outside.

Donnie immediately ran forward, pushing against the door and growling when it was locked. A quickly summoned missile fixed that problem.

They shielded their new child from the spray of broken glass, before turning and running out through the now gaping hole in the front of the building.

They tilted their face to the sky and breathed as rain poured over their skin and shell, the cool droplets stinging the two, almost forgotten, stab wounds on their stomach, and the deep cuts in their shell. They'd get Leo to check them out when they got home...

Donnie looked down at their baby as the rain drenched them both, and Donnie held her close to their chest and laughed, spinning around as tears beaded in their eyes, a pleased chirp coming from their little daughter.

They sighed happily, finally free, and looked up towards the city and-

And immediately locked eyes with Raphael.

Art time!

Chapter Text

When Raph walked into the empty lot, he hadn't really expected to find anything.

Except now it wasn't an empty lot. There was now an office-like building standing tall where the empty lot had once been, appearing like an illusion had been lifted.

The red voice in his head was telling him to look around, search for them, find them and the baby. He didn't have time to question him before an explosion caught his attention.

Purple pixels dissolved as debris scattered over the lot, and Raphael watched in awe as Donatello stepped out.

Holding a baby.

He had watched them tilt their face to the sky as rain ran down their jade skin and spun around with the infant in their arms.

And when the two locked eyes Raph felt like crying.

They were here. He had found them.

A dumb smile spread across Raphael's face as tears formed in his eyes and he ran towards them and called their name.

"Donnie!"

They growled at him. Donnie clutched the little softshell close to their chest and growled at their big brother.

"D-Dee, what-"

"Get away." Their voice was low and gravelly, like they hadn't spoken in months. Raph stepped towards them and they hissed.

"Donnie, it's okay, I'm not gonna hurt ya-"

"Get away you're not real!" Those words shook Raph's entire body.

"What..?"

"You're not real! Go away!" He took another step towards them, hands shaking.

"Dee- Donnie, I'm here, I'm real-"

He barely managed to finish his words before Donnie leapt towards him, baby held on their hip as they bared their teeth.

Raph put his arms up to shield himself and hissed when Donnie's sharp teeth sunk into his forearm. He tumbled to the ground and Donnie shoved his arms away, moving up before sinking their teeth into Raph's throat and for a split second he thought he was going to die before they were pushed off of him.

His hand flew to his neck and cupped the wound. Not too deep, okay, only a few stitches will be needed.

The sound of a baby crying had Raph sitting up and gasping, seeing Donnie, skinny and scarred, being held down by a green and black construct of- That was Kai.

Raph had only seen him once during the months Donnie had been missing but that was definitely Kai.

Kai didn't look at him, only focused on holding down the softshell as their baby cried beside them. He didn't look at Raph as he spoke.

"Hold the child and stay back. I'll deal with this." Raph did as he said without question, scooping the tiny child up in his massive hands as he scooted away from his sibling.

He was breathing heavily and the baby was still crying, so tiny in his arms. Kai held Donnie down as they writhed and hissed on the floor, Raph's blood staining their lips red. Their eyes were pale, nictitating membrane lowered like there was a threat.

Was...

Was Raph the threat?

He held the baby closer as he tried to calm her, gently petting the back of her head and shushing her shakily as she bawled, tiny hands clenched into fists as tears stained her pretty-pink markings.

Kai glared down at Donnie, teeth bared as they struggled in his grip, trying to escape. It had their baby- the hallucination had their baby they need to get her back-

"He's not a hallucination!" Kai snapped, practically shaking as he glared down at them. Donnie hissed and Kai growled back, hands clenching tight around Donnie's arms.

Then tears rose in Donnie's eyes and they whimpered like they were in pain. Raph went to rush over before Kai held up a hand, stopping him. The kitsune pulled back and cursed under his breath when he saw that the wounds on Donnie's stomach had began bleeding again. They had stopped bleeding when he was possessing them but this... this needed to be fixed as soon as possible.

He sat up and took Donnie into his arms, holding them like he had held them months ago, when they had carved their brothers' initials into their wrist.

Kai stood and looked towards Raphael, the snapper stunned and holding the baby and just a little bit scared.

"Get up. We need to move quickly, I can't keep this form up for long. We need to get them home."

Raph looked like he was going to question Kai before he nodded and stood, kind of awkwardly staring and swaying slightly with the baby in his arms.

Was he an uncle now or something? He can figure it out later, he needs to get everyone back to the sewers.

Kai looks almost like he's struggling as he carries Donnie, his legs shaking slightly with each step out of the lot. Purple fire bursts from the windows of the building but Raph barely noticed, far too concerned with the Yokai in front of him.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine."

Raph narrowed his eyes at Kai, Big Brother Sense™ tingling.

"Don't bullshit. You're shakin'. Put Don down, I'll carry them."

Kai's jaw tensed and he sighed, turning towards Raph and handing Donnie to him, the snapper now holding both softshells.

Kai let out a soft laugh, quiet and barely audible, but Raph heard and raised an eye ridge.

"What?"

"Nothing. You just... reminded me of someone I used to know."

Kai was smiling slightly and Raph noticed that he was just slightly translucent, like Karai's spirit whenever she decided to show up to give Raphael random advice whenever he meditated.

Raph hummed slightly and turned back towards the street, kneeling down at a manhole and shifting Donnie and the baby to hold them in one arm as he moved the sewer cover out of the way. 

He let Kai go down first, passing him the baby before climbing down and beginning to walk down the sewer. Raph looked to Kai, seeing him holding the baby to his chest, her small head resting in the crook of his neck.

"You said you couldn't keep this form up for long. What'd you mean by that?" Kai smiled slightly at Raph's question, rubbing the tiny softshell's back.

"This is a projection of my soul. I can't keep it up for over an hour but in that hour I'm... solid. I can touch and feel things. But it is tiring."

Raph's eye ridges furrowed slightly in concern.

"Are you good right now though? You're not gonna like... disappear or somethin'?" He adjusted Donnie in his arms slightly, walking slightly faster, only mildly scared that Kai might dissipate and drop the baby.

"I'll be okay. I'll just need to rest a bit when we get back to your home." Kai smiled, his voice soft as he held the sleeping child. Raph nodded slightly and looked to Donnie, his breath hitching slightly at the two deep wounds on their stomach, cringing slightly at the feel of the cuts in their shell against his arms.

"What happened to them..?"

"That's not my story to tell. They'll tell you when they're ready."

Eventually the lights of the lair came into view and both Kai and Raph started to run forward, bursting into the home.

Donnie's eyes flickered open, warmth and soft light surrounding them, the pain in their shell and stomach dulled by the realization that they were home (and also probably blood loss).

They were finally home...

Art time!

Chapter Text

April wasn't sleeping.

She couldn't sleep. Not anymore. Not since Donnie had disappeared.

Her mother was getting worried. First the invasion, then some random boy supposedly from the future, and now a missing friend? Carol would be lying if she said she wasn't confused.

April closed her eyes, not even trying to sleep, just staring at darkness.

And then there was a flash of green.

Get up. They're back.

She sat up with a gasp as her phone started to ring, some blaring Vocaloid song Donnie had changed her ringtone to as a joke that April just hadn't had the heart to change.

She picked up her phone and was immediately blasted by Leo shouting down the line.

"April! You and Casey need to get down here right fucking now! Donnie's back-" Leo didn't even finish his sentence before April hung up and jumped out of bed, just barely remembering to put on a shirt before running out of her room and into Casey's, slamming the door open and startling the poor boy.

"Casey get your ass up we need to go!" A delirious and very confused Casey Jr did as he was told, following April out into the hallway.

Carol emerged from her room just as April threw her bonnet to some forgotten corner of the living room.

"April! What's goin' on, sugar?" April barely looked at her mother as she rushed towards the door.

"Sorry, can't talk, gotta go, love you Mama, bye!"

April yanked Casey out of the door and slammed it closed behind her.

Carol sighed as she stood in the now empty apartment. Her daughter was crazy, just like here father had been, running into things without a second thought.

Carol worried for her daughter, worried for these friends she hadn't even met yet, but those friends kept April safe during the invasion so she just hoped that they were good people.

What was she thinking? Running out of the house with no shoes? In New York? Oh god she is gonna shower so much when she gets back home.

The sewers were gross but Casey and April didn't have to run along them for long before they reached the lair, bursting in and immediately locking eyes with Draxum.

He didn't say anything. He just gestured for Casey and April to follow him as he lead them to the med-bay.

Casey seemed on edge, like he was expecting something to happen, something like he had seen in the future.

Was it too early for that? He was seven when it happened but maybe in this timeline it could happen earlier?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sight of Leo, Raph, and Mikey rushing around the med-bay. Leo somewhat frantically stitching the deep wounds in Donatello's shell as he barked out orders to Raph and Mikey who brought him bandages and localized anaesthetic whenever he ran out.

Draxum was holding a baby.

And Kai was-

Wait.

No. Fucking. Way.

Casey beamed and when April was about to hit him for smiling at a time like this, Casey Jr ran forwards, towards the physical projection of Kai's soul.

"Commander Ichigo!"

Kai looked at the boy, slightly confused as he focused on keeping Donnie calm and talking to Casey at the same time.

"Hello..?"

Casey smiled widely and he flapped his hands to try and expend some of the random burst of energy he just got.

"You're here! How have you been? How did you get out? Do you-"

"Child, please, slow down. Do I know you?" His voice was almost strained and his hands shook. He couldn't keep this form up much longer. Maybe about twenty minutes left until he has to go back.

Casey stared dumbly at Kai for a second before he realized.

"Oh! Right! Sorry. I'm kind of from the future. I knew you."

Kai looked at Casey, narrowing his eyes for a second before he hummed and pat the boy's head, ruffling his hair slightly as Casey giggled like a child.

"Yes, I know you from some other time. We'll catch up later. Help the others."

Casey nodded and turned, almost running straight into Raph.

"Oh, good. Casey. You're here. Don bit Raph on his arm and neck. I don't have time to treat the bites but there are probably spare bandages and antiseptic on the bench." Leo spoke from behind him, hyperfocused on treating the many wounds on Donnie's shell.

Time went by in a rush of colours and panic and drug-dulled pain.

Their shell hurt. Their stomach hurt. Everything hurt.

Hands. Hands on their shell.

Who the fuck was touching them?!

Donnie jolted and struggled as hands held them down.

No no no get off get off stop stop stop-

"You're okay. I've got you. You're home."

Kai's voice was soft and warm as he held them down whilst Leo worked on their shell.

They were breathing heavily as they were pressed down, shuddering as skilled hands worked over their shell.

There were frantic voices around them, all panicked and confused.

"Oh gods, the baby is crying what do I do?"

"Christ Draxum, give her to me and go help CJ with Raph."

"Shit- Leo, we're out of anaesthetic injections. You sure they won't need more?"

"They should be okay. I'll give them painkillers after this."

"Kai, are ya sure you're not gonna- ow!- you're not gonna disappear or somethin'?"

"I'll be fine, Raphael."

They passed out at some point. They don't know when. It just got too much and they passed out.

But they were home.

Finally home.

Art time!

Chapter Text

Kai was laying down on the med-bay bed with Donnie curled up beside him. He was tired, drained of almost all his energy from having to keep this form up. He was just waiting to dissipate at this point.

Draxum was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, holding the baby as she slept. Kai could tell that Draxum was trying to figure out how to say something, his lips twitching every now and then as his eyebrows furrowed.

Kai smiled slightly.

"Speak, Baron. I know you want to."

Yellow eyes locked on him and Draxum adjusted his hold on the baby slightly.

"Ichigo Kai. That brand on Donatello's cheek, please tell me that isn't from him."

Kai tensed a little, his smile falling as his expression turned solemn.

"It's from him. But he's been dealt with. He's gone."

They were both silent for a while.

Then Draxum spoke.

"This is my fault." His voice shook as he looked at the floor.

"There was no way you could have foreseen this. What he did isn't your fault."

"But this happened as a direct result of my deal with him. And he- he didn't even keep up his end of the bargain. It's my fault that Donatello got hurt-"

"None of this is your fault. You only did what you thought would keep us Yokai safe. You made a deal to protect yourself and those around you. Trust me, Bishop would have taken your method whether you made a deal with him or not. And it doesn't matter anymore anyway. Bishop is dead and buried in ash. Donatello and the baby are safe. That's all that matters." Kai's voice was firm, stern and unwavering as his gaze pierced Draxum.

The caprid looked down at the baby in his arms. He'd never expected to be a father, let alone a grandfather. Would he mess up this child as well? End up breaking her trust like he had done with Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie over and over again?

Kai smiled at him.

"You won't know unless you try."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt her."

"Then don't."

They were both silent for a while again, and at some point Kai dissipated and disappeared back into Donnie.

Draxum sighed slightly and stood, figuring he should probably find somewhere to lay the baby down so he could get some sleep. God Splinter would be so much better at this...

The lair was quiet. Leo, Mikey, Casey, Raph, and April were all asleep in Raph's room, none of them wanting to be alone whilst they waited for Donnie to wake up.

Draxum settled on laying down on the couch with the baby laying on his chest, tucked in the sleeve of his robe as he gently rubbed her shell as she slept. His eyes stared up at the ceiling, the quiet sounds of night-time New York rumbling over head.

He needed sleep. He had been up for days, doing his best to comfort Splinter and trying to convince the rat man to take a break from searching the city every day.

His eyes had just about closed when-

"Why are you holding a baby?!"

Draxum jolted and clutched the small child to his chest, sitting up and staring dumbly at Splinter.

"I... um-"

"Did you make a baby to replace Purple?!"

"Wait- Splinter- Lou, please, let me explain-"

"Oh no no no no no! Nope! You're not replacing them! I won't-"

"Papa..?"

The quiet, hoarse voice made the rat cease his shaking of Draxum as the Yokai tried to simultaneously soothe the baby and Splinter. His head quickly turned and he almost screamed at the sight of his second-eldest child.

They were standing in the hallway, a blanket from the med bay wrapped around their shoulders, bandages visible underneath. The word 'Bishop' was branded under their right eye and they looked so thin.

Splinter jumped from his old enemy, immediately rushing over to Donatello and crowding them with questions, grabbing at their wrists and face and shoulders.

"Purple! Where have you been? Are you okay? Who branded you? I'll kill them! Spirits, you're so skinny! You must be hungry! I'll make you some buttered noodles! Would you like salted butter or unsalted? Maybe I could just get you one of your flavourless juices if you don't feel like eating any real food! Why is Draxum holding a baby? Why do you smell like blood? Go shower whilst I make your noodles-"

"Papa," Donnie stopped their father's rushing by grabbing his little rat hands. "I'm okay. I just-" They sighed softly and pulled their father into their arms, hugging him as they kneeled down to his height. "I just... really really missed you. That's two 'really's..."

Splinter's hands shook as he held his child, the gesture of actual physical affection making him tear up.

"I missed you too, my child..."

The two of them stayed like that for a bit, before Splinter's eyes snapped open and he held his child's face in his hands.

"Now explain why there's a baby that looks like you!"

Art time!

Chapter Text

Leo woke with a gasp as his mind filled with glowing yellow and pink eyes. He breathed heavily for a second, the feeling of arms holding him and a head on his shoulder grounding him, reminding him of where he was.

Mikey was resting his head on Leo's shoulder, Raph had his arms around Leo's waist, April was sprawled across Leo's legs, Casey was curled up with his back to all of them.

Right. He was home. He wasn't... there anymore. He was home.

And Donnie was home too.

Slowly, carefully, Leo untangled himself from his siblings, and stretched slightly as he stood at the side of Raphael's bed, Donnie's hoodie smelling way too much like Leo for him to be comfortable in. Jeez when was the last time this thing was washed..?

Four months ago. Just before Donnie went missing.

Dear god Leo felt disgusting.

But he... he couldn't take the hoodie off. No no no, he would rather die than have any of his family see the state of his arms right now. And he was in Raph's room so he couldn't exactly pull on some arm wraps before anyone noticed.

Leo checked the time on the little My Melody digital clock Raph had on his bedside table. Three thirty-two AM. Splinter and Draxum were probably asleep and Donnie was most likely still knocked out on painkillers. As for the baby...

Leo didn't know about the baby. Kai was probably dealing with her or something... He didn't know. He just knew he needed to see Donnie, whether they were awake or not.

Where the fuck are they?!

The med-bay was empty. The blanket missing from the bed. Had Donnie been taken again? Oh-ho-ho Leo is gonna murder whatever fucker took them this time. He is not losing his twin again.

He practically ran through the lair, running past the lit up kitchen-

Why was the kitchen light on?

Leo skidded back to the kitchen doorway, his eyes widening when he saw Donnie sitting at the table, a blanket around their shoulders, and a bowl of noodles in front of them. They smiled.

"Hey, Nardo... You okay?"

His breath hitched at the sound of their voice and he ran forward, wrapping his arms around them and pulling them close.

Donnie welcomed the touch, holding their twin as he cried into their shoulder. It had been so long since they last held him, so long they had almost forgotten how warm Leo always was, like the heat of summer had seeped into his bones and overwhelmed his coldblooded genes.

Leonardo was shaking as he held his twin close. He hadn't had the chance to hold them earlier, he was too busy with stitching the wounds in Donnie's shell and making sure they didn't have shell rot or scurvy or something.

Donnie's nose wrinkled a little at Leo's smell and they pulled away from him, cupping his wet face in their hands. He was still crying. They needed to fix that.

"Leon, I have missed you very very much, and I would, surprisingly, like to hug you more, however you smell like you haven't bathed in years."

Leo let out a wet chuckle, leaning his face into Donnie's hold. He was smiling now. That was good.

"Haha, yeah... Sorry, Dee. I kinda haven't washed this hoodie since you went missing..." Leo reached a hand up to hold Donnie's wrist gently. Their wrists were so thin, like they hadn't eaten in months. There were three letters carved into their left wrist. LMR. He'd talk to them about that later...

There was a slight rattling sound as Splinter set a teapot down on the table, steam drifting from the spout. He smiled at his children as he set three cups down by the teapot.

"Blue, go shower. You and Purple can hug more later. And please, wash the damn hoodie, you smell like a corpse." Splinter's voice was more upbeat than it had been for months as he poured tear for himself and the twins.

Leo smiled and stood, reluctantly pulling his face out of Donnie's hands.

"Sure thing, Pops-" He stopped when he noticed the sound of soft snoring at the opposite side of the table.

Leo grinned when he saw Draxum leaning back in a chair, thoroughly asleep, with the baby softshell asleep in his arms. 

"How long's he been like that?" There was the slightest hint of mischief in his voice. Donnie mimicked their twin's grin as they pushed around their noodles with their chopsticks. 

"Approximately fifteen minutes. He will vehemently deny this event ever happening unless we somehow gather evidence." Leo knew what his twin was hinting at and immediately took out his phone, opening up the camera app and pointing it towards the sleeping Yokai and baby. 

Splinter cocked an eyebrow at his son, a smirk turning up the edges of his mouth. 

"What are you doing?"

Leo just hummed a little as he snapped the picture. 

"Blackmail~"

He showed the picture to Donnie as they chewed on a noodle, and he received a nod of approval from the older twin. He put his phone back in his- Donnie's- hoodie pocket, and just as he was about to turn to leave the kitchen to shower, Donnie shot him a look. 

We need to talk later.

Art time!

Chapter Text

Donnie sighed happily as warm water poured over their skin, washing away every ache and stain. They had forgotten how good showers felt. They smiled and asked questions to the open air, to Kai.

"When was the last time you had a hot shower?"

Seventeen years ago. The day before Bishop took me.

"Can you feel the water?"

I can. It's... nice.

Donnie hummed slightly and stood under the water for a little longer before turning off the shower and stepping out, grabbing the fresh bandages they had laid out on the bathroom counter. They wrapped the bandages around their stomach and shell, water still dripping from their body.

Every sensation felt new, the chill of water cooling on their skin, their feet against the tile floor, a soft towel around their shoulders. Feelings that they hadn't experienced in months. Feelings they had taken for granted before they were captured.

Their room was pleasantly warm, soft purple light illuminating every surface. A box wrapped in blue paper with a purple bow sat on their desk. They walked over and carefully pulled the paper back.

Uranium. Leo had gotten Donnie uranium for their seventeenth birthday. They didn't question how he acquired the metal, they just smiled and set the lead box down on their desk before walking to their bed.

Leo had left his hoodie on their bed. Neat and folded. Donnie laughed a little as they pulled the hoodie on. They could thank the sentimental dumbass later...

Leo had smelt ever so slightly like blood when Donnie hugged him, and there was a weird scratching sound when he pulled away from them, like fabric ripping away from scabs or dried blood.

He had been cutting himself. Donnie had to stop that. They wouldn't have their twin hurt himself for something that wasn't his fault. Not again.

Leo's room didn't smell much better than Donnie's hoodie. His bed was messy and there were red-brown stains on the sheets. The red eared slider in question just grinned awkwardly, standing in front of his dishevelled bed.

"So... what did you wanna talk about?" He pulled at the sleeves of his sweater. Donnie just answered bluntly.

"Take it off."

"Sorry what?"

"Your sweater. Take it off."

Leo squinted a little, like he was about to tell Donnie to fuck off, but he took his sweater off anyway.

Donnie wasn't surprised. Just pissed off as they glared at the cuts and scabs on their twin's arms.

"Where are they?"

"What?"

"Your blades. Where are they?"

"Why-"

"I'm taking them. Don't argue with me, Leon. Just tell me where they are."

Leo was silent for a minute, looking down at the floor as he scratched slightly at his arms.

"In my drawer. In the empty Vaseline tin."

Donatello didn't say anything. They just walked over to Leo's bedside drawer, yanked it open, and took the Vaseline tin out, shaking it a little and hearing a metallic rattle from inside.

They narrowed their eyes at Leo.

"Why?"

"I-"

"Don't say you don't know because we both know that's bullshit. Why did you do it?"

"..."

"Leonardo."

"I felt guilty, okay? I felt guilty because you got hurt again because of me."

"Leo-"

"This is my fault. Maybe if I had been with you, this wouldn't have happened. But I was too fucking hurt to do anything. I couldn't-"

"Shut up. Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence, Leon." Their voice was so stern it made Leo flinch. "None of this was your fault. Not a single thing. Not the Kraang, or my shell, or this, got that, dumbass? If you keep blaming yourself for this then so help me Curie I will eat you alive. You know just as well as I do that softshell's are cannibals."

Leo stared at his twin. Donnie glared back. Leo laughed.

"You- you really mean that, don't you?"

"Do I look like I was being sarcastic?"

"N-no, just-" He put his head in his hands as he chuckled, tears starting to form in his eyes. "Fuck, I missed you so much, Dee. It's been... a long four months."

"I'm aware. It's been long for all of us." They sat next to their twin on his bed, cringing slightly at the smell of sweat and depression. "You really need to clean in here."

Leo huffed out a short laugh.

"Yeah... Yeah, I know. Wanna help?"

Donnie grinned at him. God Leo missed their crazy-ass smile.

"Nope."

They ended up tidying his room with him anyway.

Art time!

Now for the official GODDESS PLAYLIST WOOO

Each song links to a character that will be specified!

Bad Habit- The Dresden Dolls (Leo or Donnie)

Trial By Fire- Judas Priest (Kai and Donnie)

Pet Cheetah- Twenty One Pilots (Kai)

Cradles- Sub Urban (Donnie)

Engravings- Ethan Bortnick (Leo and Donnie)

House of Wolves- My Chemical Romance (Donnie)

Chattering Lack Of Common Sense- Ghost and Pals (Kai and Donnie)

Amygdala's Rag Doll- Ghost and Pals (Donnie)

Blood- My Chemical Romance (Kai)

Birthday Suit- Cosmo Shelldrake (Donnie)

Digital Silence- Peter McPoland (Kai and Donnie)

Icarus- Bastille (Kai and Donnie)

Famous Last Words- My Chemical Romance (Kai)

Killer In The Mirror- Set It Off (Donnie)

Train Wreck- James Arthur (Kai and Donnie)

Honey I'm Home- Ghost and Pals (Donnie and/about Bishop)

All Gone- Mother Mother (Donnie)

Christmas Kids- Roar (Kai and Donnie)

Evelyne Evelyn- Evelyn and Evelyn Neville (Kai and Donnie)

Tidal Wave- Adam Gontier (Kai)

Venom- Eminem (Kai and Donnie)

Bloody Mary- Lady Gaga (Kai)

Again- Crusher-P (Donnie)

Suffer With Me- Iiue (Donnie)

It Took Me By Surprise- Maria Mena (Bishop about Kai)

Show & Tell- Melanie Martinez (Donnie)

Lonely Dance- Set It Off (Donnie)

Overwhelmed- Royal and The Serpent (Donnie)

Freak- Sub Urban (Kai and Donnie)

Panic Room- Au/Ra (Donnie)

Body- Mother Mother (Donnie)

Take Me To Church- Hozier (Donnie)

Mama- My Chemical Romance (Donnie)

I Won't Give In- Ask Alexandria (Kai)

Run Rabbit Run- The Hoosiers (Kai about Bishop)

Little Pistol- Mother Mother (Kai)

i need to be alone- Girl In Red (Donnie)

Hate Me- Nico Collins (Kai about Bishop)

Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day (Kai)

Shit- Bo Burnham (literally anyone except Bishop lmao)

Enjoy!

Chapter Text

The next day was busy. A birthday celebration a day late, four months worth of tears shared in a single embrace, an introduction of two new members to the family, the clan.

Gifts and hugs were exchanged, rare physical affection from someone usually so touch-averse.

But eventually, Donnie got tired, so Kai took over, answering questions and smiling with Donnie's lips and teeth.

That had annoyed Raphael a little. Why was Kai in control of Donnie's body? Why did Kai get to protect Donnie? Raph was the big brother, the shield, the wall, the protector. Why was this millennia old kitsune protecting them? There had to be a reason, some kind of ulterior motive as to why he would care. He couldn't just be doing this for no reason-

"Raphael?" Kai's voice, Donnie's face. "Are you alright? You're staring."

Raph's eyes focused again and he looked up.

"Huh? Nah, I'm good."

Kai's- Donnie's- eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. Raph knew Kai could see through his bullshit, but he could appreciate him not pushing.

Raph's attention was drawn away from Kai when Mikey dangled the baby in front of Raph's face.

"Raph! She can churr!" Mikey was beaming, blue eyes shining as the little softshell happily chirped and churred in front of the snapper's faced. Raph smiled and took the baby, his hands huge on her tiny body.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure we could all churr at her age," He nuzzled his snout against her cheek, delighted at the happy squeal she let out before he looked around at Kai. "How old is she actually?"

Kai smiled.

"Technically, new-born. Physically, a few months old. She might be walking in the next six-to-eight months." His voice was soft and warm like honey and Raph felt some kind of connection to him. He wasn't sure what kind of connection, but it was a connection nonetheless.

Raph was once again drawn out of his thoughts by Leo draping himself over his shoulder, poking the baby's cheek as she giggled.

"I genuinely think this child is gonna give me a heart attack. You really out to kill me with your smile, huh pequeña rosa?" She just squealed and wriggled in Raph's hands, little hands bapping at Raph's snoot as he churred against her cheek.

"What d'you think we should call her?" Mikey was leaning against Raph's shoulder, gazing at the little softshell and smiling.

Splinter smiled as he looked over at his sons as they cooed over the baby, and he handed a steaming cup of tea to Kai. He smiled and took the cup of matcha, bowing his head in thanks to the mutant.

"I understand that you boys love her very much, but it should be Donatello's decision to make." Splinter sat down in his armchair, Kai perched on the armrest beside him, sipping the matcha as he watched the four other turtles.

Leo smiled and looked over at his father and the Yokai inhabiting his twin's body.

"We know. Does Don have any name ideas for her yet?" Kai hummed at the question directed at him, his hands cupping Donnie's favourite mug.

"Not yet. And they're sleeping right now so I can't exactly ask them."

Leo cocked a confused eye ridge at Kai, the action mirrored by Splinter, Raph and Mikey too busy fawning over the baby to notice.

"Sleeping?"

"Yes. Their mind's kind of just... asleep, right now. They can be conscious when I'm in control, but right now they're just sleeping. Does that make sense?"

Leo squinted a little.

"Nope. But you're also a dead guy living in my twin's body so there's a lotta shit that don't make sense."

"Language."

Raph and Splinter spoke at the same time as Kai chuckled, and Leo glared at Raph in a are you fucking for real? kind of way.

A few hours passed and Leo decided he should probably give Donnie a medical check up. And, because Kai was in control, he didn't have to bribe Donnie with coffee and milk flavoured ice cream.

Sure, he had quickly checked them over earlier, but he needed to update medical records because Donnie had definitely lost weight and had a lot more scars than they started out with.

Leo ran his thumb over the raised scars on Donnie's left wrist. He looked up at Kai, concern evident in his eyes.

"How'd they get these?"

"They... they didn't want to forget."

Leo's eyes narrowed and his jaw tensed.

"What do you mean forget?"

"They were sedated. A lot. They started to forget you and your brothers. They didn't want to forget you."

"Did... Did Donnie do this to themself?"

Kai paused for a second.

"Yes. They... took it into their own hands in a disturbingly literal sense..."

"But you- you said you were protecting them."

"I was doing the best I could! But I- I couldn't protect them from themself! I-... I blame myself for not being able to stop them-"

"Nope. Shut up. Sh-sh-sh. Shut the fuck up. If Donnie won't let me blame myself for the Kraang, I'm not letting you blame yourself for this. Donnie wouldn't want it."

The sternness in Leo's voice shocked Kai a little before he chuckled softly, covering his eyes with his right hand.

"Yeah... yeah, okay."

Leo hummed and smiled slightly, letting go of his twin's wrist, deciding that the scarring wasn't anything to be worried about.

"Good. I gotta take down Dee's weight. Think you can step on the scales real quick?" Kai nodded and walked up to the scales as Leo noted things down on a clipboard.

Kai froze at the number on the scales.

"Yo, Kai, you good man? What's it say?"

Kai didn't answer.

"Kai..? What does it say?"

"Eighty-nine pounds... They... They're eighty-nine point two-five pounds."

Kai was crouched down on the scales, knees to his chest, hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

Leo's hands were shaking.

"Were... Were they eating in that place?"

"They- they didn't eat much. They were force-fed a few times but I- I didn't- I didn't realize they lost that much weight and I- Oh god this- this is my fault I didn't- I couldn't-"

"Kai!"

He gasped wetly- he didn't even know he had started crying.

Kai looked over at Leo, the slider's entire form tense and shaking.

"Stop. It. Just fucking stop it. I'm not doing this again. None of us are at fault for anything that happened. This is all the fault of that bastard that trapped them and if he wasn't dead already then I would rip him apart with my teeth and I will not have you blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault. I won't have you turn out like me. I won't have my twin's saviour fall like me."

"You really do blame yourself for this. Don't you?"

"I do. But this isn't about me. This is about you and Donnie. I'm not letting you fall. Got that, fox?"

"...Okay."

Art time!

Chapter Text

Casey Junior was curious. That's what Kai had figured when the boy repeatedly asked him excited questions, hands flapping and eyes bright. Kai had smiled and tried to answer each question before the boy from a doomed future could move on.

"Casey, child, please slow down! I can't speak that fast!" Kai all but giggled as he tried to calm Casey. Casey just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah okay! So how long were you in the facility for?"

"Seventeen years."

"How come you can project your soul?"

"As long as my star ball is intact, I'm able to have full control of my powers even if my body is dead."

"Where is your star ball?"

"Donnie has it."

"Where's your warding mask?"

"I lost it when I was taken."

"Can I see your fox form?"

"Child, I would need to be in a massive open space to show you my full form."

The questions seemed to go on for hours, Casey never growing tired of asking and Kai never growing tired of answering.

Donnie watched with a smile from the back of their mind, seeing Casey get excited about every new bit of information. Donnie was enjoying themself as well, they were learning new things and data collection had always calmed them down.

There was some kind of presence over their shoulder, something warm and smiling, but when Donnie turned there was no one there, just the empty blackness of their mind.

Later Donnie found themself with their daughter in their lap, holding her little hands between their fingers and thumbs as they churred and chirped at her.

She babbled random little sounds and Donnie hummed and nodded along as if they were having a convocation with her.

"Ah, yes, my dear. However, I don't believe Angelo will be particularly happy with your plan to take over the world via digital domination. What, with all his morals and such." The little baby just squealed happily and Donnie churred, nuzzling their snout against her face, smiling happily.

"I hope you know that this is doing nothing for your Bad Bitch™ image."

Donnie practically shrieked and held their baby to their chest, glaring at Leo as he leant against the doorway to Donnie's room.

Leo grinned at his twin and walked towards them, peering over their shoulder at the tiny softshell.

"I can still be a loving parent and a bad bitch! I'll fight with her on my shell to prove it!" They really tried to sound annoyed but that was kind of hard to do with the baby pawing at their face, a grin tugging at the corners of Donnie's mouth.

Leo just smirked smugly and poked at one of the pink markings over the baby's eyes.

"Yeah, don't do that. So, how're you gonna raise this kid? Are you gonna try do it on your own or-"

"Oh, no. We are absolutely co-parenting. I cannot do this on my own and I-" They stopped for a second, guilt suddenly flooding their expression. "I don't want to make the same mistakes I made with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N..."

Leo's expression turned empathetic and he smiled softly at his twin.

"Dee, you didn't really know what to do and what not to do. None of us blamed you, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N certainly didn't."

Donatello looked away from their twin, an almost sad look in their eyes as they held their kid's hands. Their second child.

Their living child.

Donnie sighed and pressed their forehead to their baby's, and Leo immediately knew he needed to stop a spiral before it began.

"So, what're you gonna name her?" Donnie looked at him out of the corner of their eye, silently grateful for the distraction.

"I don't know yet. I'll think of something eventually." They were smiling slightly and Leo smiled back.

"You always do. Now! Get up, I wanna see if you can still kick my ass at Mario Kart with a baby in your lap."

Donnie grinned and stood, their child squealing as they held her on their hip.

"Oh, we can absolutely still beat you, brother dearest!"

Chapter Text

Six months.

It had been six months since Donnie got back home. Six months of recovery. Six months of trying to recognize their face in the mirror. Six months of trying to gain back the weight they had lost. Six months of random feral episodes.

Six months of home.

Mikey had insisted that both Donnie and Kai get therapy after everything that had happened, Dr Feelings could only help so much. And so they set about finding a therapist.

Apparently Big Mama thought she owed the clan a favour since they basically saved the world, and so the spider Yokai insisted on paying for Donnie's therapy, for however long they would need it. The only thing she really wanted in return was to occasionally see the baby, which mildly surprised Donnie but they allowed it, after all, you should never look a gift spider in the mouth.

Never look her in the mouth.

Donnie was dreaming, some illusion cast by Kai in their mind to keep the nightmares at bay. The illusion wasn't anything specific, just soft warmth and swirling patterns of pastel purple and green.

And then the baby started crying.

Donnie's eyes opened and they grumbled, rubbing their palms over their face as they sat up.

Go back to sleep. I'll settle her.

Thank you...

Kai got up from Donnie's bed, walking over to the cot about four feet away.

The little softshell squirmed in her bed, the soft blue blanket Leo had bought (stole) for her kicked to the side. Kai sighed a little and reached into the cradle, picking up the small child and holding her close, her head on his shoulder as she cried. Kai rubbed gentle circles into her shell, swaying back and forth slightly as he soothed her.

"How can you be so sweet and happy during the day but then cry every night..?" Kai mumbled as he swayed with the baby, her bawling turning to quiet, hiccupping sobs as he rubbed her back. He was mildly tempted to use an illusion to get her to sleep, but Donnie wouldn't want that.

It's not like Kai was inexperienced with children, no he'd put children to sleep before when he was very briefly married to a widow, he just hadn't dealt with children this young before. He could calm four year olds and connect with angsty thirteen year olds, but babies? That's where his experience started to wane.

But eventually she was asleep again, breathing softly as Kai set her back down in her cot, pulling the blue blanket over her chest and placing the red plush bear in her arms, her little head rested on an orange pillow.

He looked to the glowing purple digital clock on Donnie's desk. Eight-thirty AM. Mikey had told Donnie to meet him in the med-bay at nine. He said something about covering the brand on Donnie's cheek but Kai didn't really absorb much of the information.

He walked up to the wardrobe and took out Leo's hoodie. He smiled at the sentiment of the twins swapping hoodies as he pulled on the item. Some loose jeans were the next thing he grabbed from the mostly purple themed wardrobe, Donnie didn't like tight clothes when they were tired.

Eventually they did wake up, coming back into their body and clicking their neck, wincing a little at the loud cracking of their vertebrae. Donnie looked over at their child still sleeping in her cot, their voice soft and quiet as they spoke to Kai.

"Thanks for getting her down again..."

Anytime. I'll let Raph know she's still sleeping so he can check up on her while you're with Mikey.

Donnie smiled and hummed a little as they took their phone from their desk, taking a quick picture of their child for the group chat to fawn over.

Mikey was just pulling on some rubber gloves as Donnie walked into the med-bay, and he smiled at his sibling.

"Hey! You ready for this?"

Donnie smiled back and nodded.

"I am. You have the numbing cream, right?" Mikey looked over his equipment for a second before he found the cream and tossed it to Donnie, the softshell catching it as they sat down on the med-bay bed.

"Yep! I think if you rub it in enough then it shouldn't interfere with how well the stencil comes out." Donnie nodded slightly and squeezed some of the cream out onto their fingers, rubbing the cool substance on their right cheek and above their eye ridge.

They rubbed the cream into their skin until their face felt dry, their cheek starting to tingle slightly.

Mikey came over with the damp paper stencil, hesitating a little.

"You sure you still want to do this? We can stop and take a break at any time if you want." His nerves were clear in his voice as he pressed the stencil to Donnie's face. Donnie just closed their eyes and smiled as their brother applied the stencil.

"I'll be fine, Miguel."

The rest of the process went by relatively quickly, Donnie's face pleasantly numb as Mikey worked around their cheek and eye. The entirety of it took about two and a half hours, and Donnie's face stung a little as Mikey pulled away, the buzzing of the gun stopping as he placed it down. Mikey's hands shook for the first time in over two hours as he flexed his hands before carefully wiping a paper towel over the design.

"You doing okay, Dee? It doesn't hurt too much, right?"

Donnie just smiled and sat up as Mikey squeezed some ointment onto his fingers.

"No, I'm good. It just stings a little but I'm pretty sure that's normal."

Mikey smiled back at them and began to rub the ointment over the tattoo, watching Donnie tilt their face slightly into his touch. From touch-averse to touch-starved.

Mikey knew Donnie hadn't told everyone everything that happened in the facility, and Kai wouldn't spill any details because it's 'not his story to tell.' That annoyed the box turtle, he had seen the scars on Donnie's shell, he had witnessed their feral episodes, he knew they had trouble eating, and he just wanted to help. But he couldn't help efficiently if he didn't know what had happened.

But he had to wait. He knew that. He couldn't force this. Donnie had been through intense trauma, that was obvious by the way they would flinch when anyone touched their jaw or neck, and if the vivid nightmares they got were anything to go by, that trauma wouldn't leave them for a long time.

At least Mikey had convinced them to get therapy. That was... the best way he could help them right now. But he did wish he could do more.

Raph was sitting in Donnie's room with the baby in his lap when the softshell walked in, and his entire face brightened when he saw the tattoo that covered the old brand.

The plastic film that had been taped to their face to prevent infection warped the design a little, but it was still clear.

A star with matching whisps on either side- the design from Kai's warding mask, purple smoke curling around the Kanji figure for life, the figure for 'nine' just above it. The smoke curled up further and circled around a Sakura flower above Donnie's right eye.

Donatello grinned at their big brother as they sat down beside him on the floor.

"Cool, right?"

Raph nodded, eyes shining.

"Yeah! Kinda jealous you're the first one to get a tattoo, though." He nudged Donnie with his shoulder and they laughed a little. They had smiled and laughed a lot in the past six months.

"Oh, I was always going to get tattoos before the rest of you. Then again, I also expected myself to be the first to start drinking but you beat me in that race." They had said the words before they even realized what they were implying, and shame suddenly flooded them. "Wait- sorry, I- I didn't mean that."

Raph just smiled sweetly and passed Donnie their daughter.

"It's okay, Dee, it's nothin' to worry about. I'm four months sober now so it's all good!" Donnie didn't need to explain how addictions work to Raph, he already knew, so they just sighed softly and looked to their child, her tiny hands fiddling with the drawstrings of Leo's hoodie.

Raph spoke up again.

"You found a name for her yet?"

"Not yet. Any suggestions?"

Raph just chuckled and shook his head.

"She's your kid, Don, you should be the one to name her. Leo seems pretty set on the name 'Rosa', though."

Donnie hummed a little before shaking their head.

"No, it doesn't quite fit... We're all named after artists, I want her to be named after an artist as well." She looked up at them and smiled wide, sharp little baby-teeth starting to poke through her gums.

"That narrows it down a little. We're named after Renaissance artists so maybe someone else from the Renaissance? Or maybe Baroque instead? 'Artsmisia's a cool name, plus Gentileschi was a badass."

Donnie laughed a little and shook their head, leaning back to lie on their shell, holding their baby above them, smiling as she giggled.

"No, something a little more modern than Baroque."

Raph chuckled and laid down beside them.

"Welp, I'm all outta ideas then, Dee."

The three of them stayed like that for a while as the baby giggled and churred.

Donnie wracked their mind for names as they played with their child.

Frida maybe? No, all due respect to Kahlo, but Frida sounds like an old lady name. 'Corbett' had always been on Donnie's 'future child names' list, but that didn't fit either. Venus was up there too, but Donnie wanted their child named after a painter, not a statue.

And then they found it. The name that fit her.

Donnie sat up with a smile, their baby squealing and laughing at the sudden movement. Donnie looked back at Raph, the snapper smiling as he realized that Donnie had found a name.

"Monet. Her name's Monet."

Art time!

Chapter Text

Today's art was made by the AMAZING Feral-turtlecat on Tumblr! 

And of course here is the original link in case imgbb decides to bug out<3