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A bight light appeared in the room and as it slowly faded there where now people in the room. Artemis started looking around and noticed it was like a sitting room in a library but bigger. He could hear people talking over one another but couldn't tell what they were saying until someone, Holly, yelled "Shut up!" and everyone quieted down. Artemis's mother, Angeline, looked and ask "where are we and why is there two Artemises." and pointed at him. He looked over and saw someone who looked exactly like him and said "who are you?" "I'm Orion." "Oh this isn't happening." said Holly "My fair lady, I have returned once more to see your beauty." Orion said bowing to Holly "What'd you do Mud-boy?" Foaly asked "Nothing." Artemis said knowing he was talking to him. "Well, it usually your schemes that..." I interrupt "I brought you all here to read about Artemis's adventures. I also gave Orion his own body. Here's some of the books for now." Another bright light appears and leaves five books on the table in the middle of the room. "You can leave when your finish reading and behind the door is a kitchen, bedrooms, and restrooms. Bye and have Fun." I said and disappeared. Butler picked up the books and look though all of them. "All of them are blank but the book number and the first is titled Artemis Fowl." "Why do we have to read about Artemis, it's not like he's done anything cool." said Myles to Beckett "Will this tell us what happened when his was missing for three years?" asked Artemis fowl the first "and who are the tiny people here?" "Maybe, honey and the one named Holly is Artemis's friend." Angeline said "Well, lets get reading." interrupts Artemis before anyone can say anything else. "I'll start." said commander Root and everyone went to find a seat around the circle room. 

How does one describe Artemis Fowl?

"Lame." said Myles and Beckett "Scheming." Said the fairies "Ten steps ahead." said both Butlers "Alright, can we continue with the reading?" said Artemis

Various psychiatrists have tried and failed. The main problem is Artemis's own intelligence. He bamboozles every test thrown at him. He has puzzled the greatest medical minds and sent many of them gibbering to their own hospitals. 

  "What other psychiatrists have you seen other than Dr. Argon?" asked Angeline . "Plenty. mother. The school required it when father went missing." "Why didn't I know. Arty?" "You went well, mother." 

There is no doubt that Artemis is a child prodigy. But why does someone of such brilliance dedicate himself to criminal activities?  

"Well, just give him another shot to his ego why don't you." said commander Kelp, who had been quite till now. "It's not ego, it's simply confidence in my abilities." Artemis replied "Hush you two, and let us finish this reading." said Minerva. 

This is a question that can be answered by one person. And he delights in not talking 

"That's a lie. Artemis loves to talk." said Holly "Not about his plans." said Butler "Lets continue. I'm getting gassy." said Mulch 

Perhaps the best way to create an accurate picture of Artemis is to tell the by now famous account of his first villainous venture. I have put together this report from firsthand interviews with the victims, and as the tale unfolds you will realize that this was not easy. 

"Villainous venture, Artemis? Have i not shown you the joy of going legal." said Artemis senior "Yes, Father but..." Artemis started but Senior was interrupted "But nothing. I expect no more of this illegal venture."   

The story began several years ago, at the dawn of the twenty-first century. Artemis Fowl had devised a plan to restore his family's fortune. A plan that could topple civilizations and plunge the planet into a cross-species war. He was twelve at the time... 

"Oh." said Senior "This is while you're gone, father." Artemis replies "We have plenty of money, Arty. What could you possible need more for." Angeline asked "To search for father." he replied "When did Father go missing?" asked Myles and Beckett while Myles added "I don't think Artemis could devised a plan like that." "He could." said both Holly and Minerva. "Well. I'll read next." said No.1 Everyone jumped "I forgot you were here No.1." said Foaly  

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Ho Chi Minh City in the summer. Sweltering by anyone's standards. Needles to say, Artemis Fowl would not have been willing to put up with such discomfort if something extremely important had not been at stake. 

"of course, you wouldn't be willing to suffer, Mud-boy." said Kelp with a sneer. "What was so important, Arty, for you to be in Vietnam?" asked Angeline "I was..." Artemis began "No spoilers." I said "Lets see what was so important for Brother to find since he can't handle a little heat." said Myles

Important to the plan. 

"Because nothing is as important as the plan, right Artemis?" Holly said sarcastically "If that's what my lady said, then so be it. I will come up will a grand plan just for you." said Orion on one knee while everyone looks at him likes he's crazy. "Uh... Just continue No.1." said Holly 

Sun did not suit Artemis. He did not look well in it. Long Hours indoors in front of the monitor had bleached the glow from his skin. He was white as a vampire and almost as testy in the light of day. 

"Yeah, his heart is dead and cold too, just like a vampire." said Mulch eating something "He's gotten better for a mud-boy." said Holly Everyone looked at in surprise 

"I hope this isn't another wild-goose chase, Butler," he said, his voice soft and clipped. "Especially after Cairo." 

"What happened in Cairo?" Said Senior "I'm sure it will tell you, Father." said Artemis

It was a gentle rebuke. They had travelled to Egypt on the voice of Butler's informant. "No, sir. I'm certain this time. Nguyen is a good man."  "Hmm," droned Artemis, unconvinced. Passers-by would have been amazed to hear the large Eurasian refer to the boy as sir. This was, after all, the third millennium. 

"I was to busy trying to escape to be consider their weird relationship." said Holly sourly "Escape, what?" said Angeline and Senior at the same time. "Go ahead, No.1." I said 

But this was no ordinary relationship, and these were no ordinary tourists. They were sitting outside a kerbside cafe on Dong Khai Street, watching the local teenagers circle the square on mopeds. Nguyen was late, and the pathetic path of shade provided by the umbrella was doing little to improve Artemis's mood. But this was just his daily pessimism. 

"Your my daily pessimism, Mud-boy." said Foaly sadly "what's pest..past..passumhisum?" said Mulch "Pess-im-is-m Mulch, not whatever you said." said Artemis 

Beneath the sulk was a spark of hope. Could this trip actually yield results? Would they find the Book? It was too much to hope for. 

The fairies sat shocked mouth wide open. "What's the 'Book'?" Minerva asked Artemis "I'm sure it will tell you ." He replied like before. 

A waiter scurried to their table "More tea, sirs?" he asked, head bobbing furiously. Artemis sighed. "Spare me the theatrics and sit down." The waiter turned instinctively to Butler, who was, after all, the adult. "But, sir, I am the waiter."

"Why are your telling the waiter to sit down?" said commander Root but everyone but Artemis and Butler looked confused. "You'll see. I would tell you but its a spoiler." Artemis said 

Artemis tapped the table for attention. "You are wearing handmade loafers, a silk shirt and three gold signet rings. Your English has a tinge of Oxford about it and your nails have the soft sheen of the recently manicured. You are not a waiter. You are our contact, Nguyen Xuan, and you have adopted this pathetic disguise to discreetly check for weaponry."

"You couldn't possible know that." said Kelp while everyone else look amazed and surprised.

Nguyen's shoulder sagged. "It is true. Amazing." "Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make." Nguyen sat, pouring some mint tea into a tiny china cup. "Let me fill you in on the weapons status," continued Artemis. "I am unarmed. But Butler here, my...ah...butler, has a Sig Sauer in his shoulder holster, two shrike throwing knives in his boots, a derringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch and three stun grenades concealed in various pockets. Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir." "oh yes. A good old ball-bearing cosh stuffed down his shirt." Nguyen brought the cup trembling to his lips. 

Everyone was shocked. "Why would you need all that, Butler?" asked Minerva. "Just to be prepared." he said and the Fowls and Juliet nodded. Mulch looked sick at what they could have done to him, while the other fairies looked relived that they didn't do anything worse to them. 

"Don't be alarmed, mister Xuen," smiled Artemis. "The weapons will not be used on you" Nguyen didn't seem reassured. "No," continued Artemis. "Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without the use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient." 

"You did that on purpose, didn't you, Artemis?  Mentioning Butler could kill without weapons." asked Holly while the others were surprise at how calm and easy Artemis talked about butler killing. 

Nguyen was by now thoroughly spooked. Artemis generally had that effect on people. A pale adolescent speaking with the authority and vocabulary of a powerful adult. Nguyen had heard the name Fowl before- who hadn't in the international underworld?- but he'd assumed he'd be dealing with Artemis Senior, not this boy. Though the word 'boy' hardly seemed to do this gaunt individual justice, And the giant, Butler. It was obvious that he could snap a man's backbone like a twig with those mammoth hands. Nguyen was starting to think that no amount of money was worth another minute in this strange company. 

"Are my hands really that big?" Butler said looking confused and everyone looked at him then his hands and then back at him and bursted out laughing easing the tension. 

"And now to business," said Artemis, placing a micro recorder on the table. "You answered our web advertisement." Nguyen nodded, suddenly praying his information was accurate. "Yes, Mister...Mister Fowl. What you're looking for...I know where it is." "Really? And am I supposed to take your word for this? You could be walking me straight into an ambush. My family is not without enemies." Butler snatched a mosquito out of the air beside his employer's ear. 

"Are you so paranoid that you believe that enemies lurker around every corner." asked Beckett "Not paranoid, just vigilant." Artemis said back "Very cool, Butler and can you teach me how to do that thing with the mosquito? Pretty please?" Holly begged and Butler nodded. 

"No, no," said Nguyen, reaching for his wallet. "Here, look." Artemis studied the Polaroid. He willed his heart to maintain a calm beat. It seemed promising, but anything could be faked these days with a PC and flatbed scanner. The picture showed a hand reaching from layered shadows. A mottled green hand. 

"Eww." said both Juliet and Minerva while the Fairies looked offended. "Continue No.1." said Myles "Before they fight." 

"Hmm," he murmured. "Explain" "This woman. She is a healer, near Tu Do Street. She works in exchange for rice wine. All the time, drunk." Artemis nodded. It made sense. The drinking. One of the few consistent facts his research had unearthed. He stood, smoothing the creases from his white polo shirt. "Very well. Lead on, Mister Nguyen." Nguyen wiped the sweat from his stringy moustache. "Information only. That was the agreement. I don't want any curses on my head," Butler expertly gripped the informant behind the neck. "I'm sorry, Mister Nguyen, but the time when you had a choice in matters is long past." 

"Really, Artemis, I thought I was the only person you kidnapped." said Holly "What happened to your manners while I was away, Arty? You know better than to go straight to kidnapping. You should always offer more money first," Angeline said looking disappointed in him while everyone but Senior looks confused. 

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Butler steered the protesting Vietnamese to a rented four-wheel drive that was hardly necessary on the flat streets of Ho Chi Minh City, or Saigon as the locals still called it, but Artemis preferred to be as insulated from civilians as possible. 

"Who would have thought, Artemis not wanting to spend time with the locals." Said Holly mockingly. Everyone but the Fowls and Bulter laughed. 

The jeep inched forward at a painfully slow rate, made all the more excruciating by the anticipation building in Artemis's chest. He could suppress it no longer. Could they at last be at the end of their quest? After six false alarms across three continents, could this wine-sodden healer be the gold at the end of the rainbow? Artemis almost chuckled. 

"When did I give permission for you to roam about the world, looking for fairytale?" His mother asked. Artemis looked down and said, "I did not ask to give you time and space to get well." "I want to know this Artemis who could almost chuckle." Said Foaly jokingly.

Gold at the end of the rainbow. He'd made a joke. Now there's something that didn't happen every day.

"Oh, a joke from Artemis, the world must be ending." Said Holly "Well, if the world it to end, I would spend my last seconds holding your hand my love." Said Orion to Holly seriously.

The mopeds parted like fish in a giant shoal. There seemed to be no end to the crowds. Even the alleyways were full to bursting with vendors and hagglers. Cooks dropped fish heads into woks of hissing oil, and urchins threaded their way underfoot, searching for unguarded valuables. Others sat in the shade, wearing out their thumbs on Gameboys.  Nguyen was sweating right through his khaki top. It wasn't the humidity, he was used to that. It was this whole cursed situation. He should have known better than to mix magic and crime. He made a silent promise that if he got out of this, he would change his ways. No more answering shady Internet requests, and certainly no more consorting with the sons of European crime lords. 

"He should get out of crime altogether." Said Fowl senior and commander Root "Is fish heads good?" Asked One and the ones who didn't know him turned and stared . "No." Said Holly shaking her head.