Chapter Text
The club was full of monsters. Sirius could tell as soon as the bouncer pulled aside the red velvet rope and let her into the place. There were a few things that tipped her off. For one thing, the drinks were terrible. She’d played it safe and ordered a vodka cranberry like a fucking high schooler, and still it had tasted like nail polish remover. Not that it mattered to half the club’s patrons. They were drinking something else.
For another thing, the bouncers didn’t look like bouncers. Sirius wasn’t one to stereotype, but it was just common sense. If the five foot nothing by the back door was expected to keep any of the club’s drunk and disorderly in line, her strength had to be nothing short of supernatural.
Really, Sirius should have known what she was walking into before her date even picked her up. She could’ve sworn she’d actually read the brief the agency had sent over this time. Well, at least skimmed it. Alright, lightly skimmed it- but it’s not like it should’ve mattered if she knew her client’s hobbies or interests or kinks, not when she was wearing this dress, and these heels, giving him that look. And she was pretty sure she told Marlene ‘no more vamps’ after what happened last time. She hadn’t minded the biting, really, and the high from the venom was nice actually- made it easier to relax- but the restaurant he’d taken her to had been awful. I mean, what was the point of going out with man who’d had three centuries to accumulate wealth and sexual frustration if he wasn’t even going to buy her a nice meal?
Her date tonight hadn’t even bothered to take her to dinner. She knew his type by now. Knew that he’d ply her with a few (bad) drinks, dance with her a while, and then at some point he’d lead her out the back door of the club and press her body up against the stone wall, all of him against all of her, and he’d pretend he hadn’t been imagining doing just that the whole time.
He was kind of a creep, if she was being honest. Which of course she wasn’t, at the moment. It was her job to not be honest with him. From the outside, she had stars in her eyes. Inside she was cringing.
She couldn’t say precisely what skeeved her out about him. He was perfectly good looking, well dressed, had an easy southern drawl. But his smile seemed off. Slimy.
“How about we take this outside?” Her date said, bringing his mouth close to her ear as they swayed together on the dance floor.
Right on cue.
“Lead the way.” Sirius let him take her hand and guide her to the back door. On the way they passed a roped off section of the club. Sirius could see couples and threesomes tangled together on discreetly arranged couches in the dim lighting. Half the people there wore steadily chirping heart monitors on their wrists. Along the walls, bouncers watched and waited, poised to step in if any of the bloodsuckers got carried away.
“Looks like there’s a lounge inside, if you wanted to…” Sirius sucked her bottom lip between her teeth before letting it go, popping her lips.
“Too crowded.” Her date said, smiling, pulling her outside. The ally was narrow, typical for the French Quarter. Gas lamps only served to stretch the shadows.
And okay, she should’ve gotten the hell out of dodge right then. She wasn’t an idiot. She’d been around enough to look out for herself. She knew that the walking red flag with his hand on her wrist, right over her pulse point, wanted to be alone with her only so he could take something from her he wasn’t sure she’d be willing to give. Danger, her heart stuttered- a warning with every hurried beat. Only Sirius couldn’t care enough to listen.
Whatever. Whatever. He could have her, take what he wanted, it didn’t matter. Giving in was easier than putting up a fight.
Not for the first time, Sirius told herself this would be the last job she took. She didn’t even need the money anymore, not since she turned twenty one and gained access to Alphard’s trust. She didn’t know why she had kept working after that. Sure, she liked Marlene and the other girls. And sometimes the clients were sweet.
But if she were honest with herself, she could admit that she was scared of what she’d do when she quit. She’d be left to pace her apartment, lush and empty, her nights free, haunted by the monsters inside her head- so much more fearsome than the ones she took to bed. If she were honest with herself, she’d have to admit that she was just fucking lonely.
But Sirius tried very hard to avoid being honest with herself these days. That, really, was the reason she’d kept the job. The reason why she didn’t bother reading the bios Marlene sent her. The reason why she let the monster push her up against the wall, all of him against all of her, without saying a goddamn word.
Her date's mouth met hers. He was an over enthusiastic kisser- reminiscent of the circular attachment one could affix to a vacuum cleaner. She marveled at how, in several lifetimes, this man had never learned how to properly kiss.
Mercifully, he quickly moved onto her neck. His hands roved her curves, fingers gripping her ass at the same time fangs bit into her carotid artery. She felt the flush of venom rush into her, turning her limbs liquid, her thoughts sluggish. That’s better. Now she could really let go, give into whatever this night was going to be.
“You taste so good,” her date whispered against her neck. Well, it wasn’t the context in which Sirius was used to hearing that particular comment, but fuck her if she couldn’t take a compliment.
“Thanks,” she sighed, wincing slightly as fangs bit back into her skin. He continued to grope clumsily at her breast’s and backside, and Sirius grew quickly tired of him.
Actually she was just tired. Really, really tired. She hadn’t been so tired when he’d first brought her outside. Through the haze of venom, she took stock of her fading strength, the growing difficulty of supporting her own weight.
“I think that’s enough,” Sirius whispered in her date's ear. “Getting dizzy.”
“Shhh,” he tsked, without removing his mouth from her neck.
“I mean it, I’m gonna pass out,” Sirius said, trying with all her feeble might to shrug out of his hold. Fangs pulled uncomfortably at her skin. “Get off!”
The vampire grunted, annoyed, and raised his head, fixing her with his bloodstained smile. “Quiet.” He said, taking her by both her shoulders and slamming her hard against the wall.
White stars exploded behind Sirius’s eyes. She felt a sharp pain near her temple, and a warm liquid drip down the side of her face.
“Fuck,” she breathed, her body sagging into the monster’s arms. He drank from her, fiercely now, as if he knew she would soon spoil and didn’t want her to go to waste.
He’s going to kill me, she thought, and was surprised to find that she was certainly, desperately, afraid.
She wondered, somewhere in her frightened mind, if this was how James had felt when the car had gone off the overpass and into the river. She reached for him then, though most days she didn’t believe he was anywhere at all anymore. But if he was, and if he had any sway over such things from his vantage point, she called on him, not so much a prayer as a wish that he might still be looking out for her, that he’d send someone- anyone - to bail her out of trouble one more time.
A heavy wave of unconsciousness threatened to pull Sirius under. No, no, no- but it was too late, oblivion inevitable as gravity. She was falling, falling, falling-
Suddenly, the monster went still. His mouth pulled away from her neck, and he made a startled choking noise.
“What the fuck?!” He gasped, pissed as hell, from what Sirius could hear. His weight was suddenly lifted off of her. She slid down the wall, limp, crumpling into a blood soaked heap on the cobblestone ground.
“You knew the rules. Dorcas said this isn’t your first offense,” a voice said from above her. A woman’s voice, low and cold and somehow… familiar. “Three strikes and you’re out. It’s nothing personal.”
Sirius heard a wet slap of a sound. She looked up to see the monster held aloft by a woman half his size, her hand on his chest. No, not on his chest. Through his chest . He’d spat in her face, blood spit dotting her cheeks like freckles. “Fuck you, bitch,” he growled.
The woman wiped at her face with her free hand, turning away from the monster and glancing at Sirius for just a moment. Their eyes met, and Sirius could swear she saw recognition in that gaze. The woman’s brows knit together, guilty and furious.
“You know what, scratch that. This is personal.” The woman said, turning back to the monster. Sirius heard a damp ripping sound, and saw the silhouette of her date fall to the ground, still. The woman held something in her hand, dark and formless in the gaslamp light. She tossed it aside, shaking off the remnants from her hand, and then rushed over to Sirius.
“Come on, come on, come on. Don’t be dead yet,” the woman whispered, more to herself than anyone else. Sirius didn't think she was dead just yet. Dying, sure. Definitely dying. She fought for every last scrap of consciousness.
Strong hands turned her over onto her back. Thin arms cradled her head, tilting her face to the light. Something soft pressed against her lips, and she felt a warm liquid drip into her mouth, the taste metallic. She swallowed reflexively.
“There you go. That’s good. Just stay with me,” the woman said, taking away whatever she’d given Sirius to drink. Unobscured, Sirius could see her face clearly for the first time.
Oh. Sirius knew this face. A younger version of it, years removed, but still. The same tangled hair, the same amber, curious eyes, the same slight features. Sirius had never forgotten this face. With the last of her awareness, Sirius met those amber eyes with her silver stare, searching for her voice. She had to say something, anything , while she still could, before-
“Remus?” Sirius whispered weakly. Then darkness eclipsed her vision, and she fell away from her body and into a dreamless, involuntary sleep.
———
The girl was crying.
In her eleven years of life, Remus had not acquired very much experience with crying girls. At some point she’d been a crying girl herself, but she’d given that up long ago. Crying never helped anything when she was sick. People only got tired of her whining. She knew that everyone liked it better when she was brave.
“What’s wrong?” Remus asked the crying girl, because she was not in the hospital, she was at Montgomery Academy, and this girl was not sick- as far as she could tell. Possibly she had a problem that crying could actually fix.
The crying girl looked up from where she sat on the cold bathroom floor. Even with her face blotchy, Remus noticed she was very pretty. She had long black hair and pale, blemishless skin. Her eyes were a starling shade of gray- almost silver behind her tears.
“It’s my dress,” the girl explained, wetly, through hiccuping sobs. “See?” She lifted the fabric so that Remus could see the smear of paint that stretched from the bottom of her hem up the left side of the skirt, bright green against the plaid pattern of her uniform.
“Oh,” Remus said, though she was even more confused than she’d been before. Why would someone get so upset about a stained skirt? It would probably come out in the wash. Or it wouldn’t. Either way it didn’t seem like anything worth crying over. “Is that all?”
“What do you mean, ‘is that all?” It’s totally ruined!” The crying girl sputtered. “I tried to wash it out but it’s not working. My mom is going to be so mad at me,” she wept.
Ah. So that was it. This girl was just worried about getting in trouble. Remus could understand that. She hated being scolded by the terse nurses at the hospital, especially when she really tried her best to behave. There were just so many rules, and not all of them made sense to Remus, and everyone expected her to know what they were before ever explaining them to her.
She wondered if school was the same. It was only her first day of 6th grade, and it had been so long since she’d been in a real school, she couldn’t remember.
“It’s alright,” Remus shrugged, sitting beside the crying girl on the floor now. “You’ll just explain that it was an accident.”
Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say. The girl just started crying even harder.
“It won’t matter. She’ll be mad no matter what I say,” the girl said, and Remus could see real fear in her eyes, bright terror, and she knew how it felt to be that scared. Properly scared, like a cornered animal. She’d seen a lot of kids wear that look as some vital system of their body failed them. She’d worn that look a few times herself.
She couldn’t imagine what this girl’s mother could say or do that would inspire such fear, but she believed that the threat was real, and that by involving herself, she now had some responsibility to fix it.
“What if we switched?” Remus offered, holding out the hem of her own dress. It was a sort of apron like jumper, unflattering plaid, that all the girls had to wear over white Peter Pan collared shirts. Remus thought it was one of the ugliest pieces of clothing she’d ever seen. Frankly, a paint stain couldn’t make it much worse. “We’re about the same size, I think.”
“What? Do you mean it?” The crying girl said, surprise brightening her eyes.
“Sure- why not? My mom won’t care if I come home with a stained dress,” Remus said easily.
The crying girl smiled, her face melting with relief. “That would be great! I’ll change right now.”
So they both hurried into a stall and quickly swapped jumpers. The crying girl stopped crying- much to Remus’s satisfaction.
“Seriously, thank you so much-“ the crying girl paused, her brow knitting up in confusion and embarrassment. “Sorry- I don’t know your name yet. You’re new this year, right?”
“Yeah- I’m Remus.” She held out her hand for the other girl to shake. It seemed like the thing to do, though her sense of social mores was a bit rusty.
“That’s a strange name,” the other girl said. Remus flushed. “Strange in a good way! I have a strange name too,” the other girl said hurriedly, when she saw Remus’s expression. “I’m Sirius.”
“It’s nice to meet you. I don’t know anyone here yet,” Remus admitted.
“Well,” Sirius said, smoothing out the hem of her clean dress. “I think we can fix that.”
Sirius made good on her offer, introducing Remus to all her friends and to each teacher in their shared classes, and by giving her a thorough tour of the school, which she had apparently attended since she was a small child. Remus sat with her and her best friend James at lunch, and in class when they could pick their own seats. By the end of the day, Remus felt like she’d known them for years instead of just a few hours. Every time Siris laughed at one of her jokes, or called her over to join a conversation or game, she felt this buoyant sense of rightness. Like she’d finally found her place. Remus thought that if she were a different girl, with a different life, all her days would stretch forward from there, filled with the bright laughter of her new friends. Just like she’d always imagined school would be.
But she could only be herself, and live her one, tenuous life. She knew it couldn’t last. And she never knew how much time she would get.
“See you tomorrow!” She’d said, foolishly, to Sirius and James as she waved goodbye to them before climbing into her dad’s car. He didn’t even ask about her spoiled skirt. Just how her day had been, and she got to tell him the truth. It had been perfect.
———
Remus Lupin stared at the woman laying unconscious on the couch across from where she stood. She focused on the slow rise and fall of Sirius’s chest, the steady chirp of the heart monitor affixed to her wrist. She was alive.
Remus had carried her to Mary’s office after she’d passed out, panicking for a moment that maybe she’d given her the blood too late. But then she’d felt a steady pulse and Sirius’s wrist, and the color began to return to her face. Now Remus just had to wait for her to wake up.
Sirius Black. Remus was sure it was her. Even though a decade had passed, she had never forgotten those startling gray eyes. And somehow, Sirius remembered her, too.
It seemed impossible. Remus knew why she remembered Sirius. That one, perfect day of school was all she had, before her body failed her again. She’d been on a new medication- one that kept her lungs clear- or so it had seemed. That’s why her parents let her try real school instead of mailing her courses through the hospital. But it was a short lived respite, and that night after that first day, she had a 103 degree fever and rushed to the hospital. She never was well enough to return to school, after that.
It was a fixed memory for Remus. That one day stood out- a light in all the darkness. A before and after. Later that same year, she’d met Fenrir, and started down the long, bloody path that lead here, to this club full of monsters in this city full of monsters, to this second life, a monster herself.
She couldn’t understand how the girl from that one bright day of her past had ended up in this same place.
Remus crossed the room, fixating on the dried blood that decorated Sirius’s temple and cheekbone. She wet a cloth in the bathroom sink and began gently scrubbing away at the rust colored mess, revealing porcelain skin beneath. The head wound had closed up, so she supposed her blood had done the trick there. Sirius might still have a concussion though. Remus had to remember to tell her that when she woke up, so that she could see a real doctor. Vampire blood was lifesaving in a pinch but Remus had no idea if it could heal brain damage.
Suddenly, the heart monitor started beeping louder, registering an abruptly racing pulse. Remus startled, leaning back from Sirius’s face enough to see her silver eyes flutter open.
Remus pulled the damp cloth away, leaning back on her calves where she knelt by the couch. Sirius looked around groggily for a moment or two before jerking into a sitting position. She breathed heavily and listed sideways, dizzy, her head falling toward her knees, precariously close to the edge of the couch.
“Easy there,” Remus cautioned, steadying Sirius with a hand on each of her shoulders. “You lost a lot of blood.”
“I’m okay,” Sirius gasped, lifting her head to meet Remus’s worried gaze. Her eyes focused, and she offered an attempt at a reassuring smile. “Just a head rush.”
“Do you remember what happened?” Remus asked.
Sirius’s head lolled forward again, but she recovered quickly enough to turn it into a nod. “Mmmhmmn. He-he wouldn’t stop. I tried to fight him but he…and then you were there.” She looked up. “Remus.”
At that moment, Remus realized she was still holding Sirius’ shoulders steady, a gesture that didn’t seem entirely necessary anymore. Shyly, she pulled back her hands, but stayed crouched at eye level with Sirius. “I’m surprised you remember me.”
“Of course I do. You gave me your dress,” Sirius said, a warm smile lighting her face. Remus felt it in her chest. “How could I forget?”
“It’s been a long time,” Remus shrugged. Rocking back on her heels. “I didn’t think I made much of an impression.”
Sirius looked at her curiously, a wistful sadness filling her eyes. “I never got to thank you for that, you know? The next day you were just… gone. I kept asking the teachers why you weren’t at school. Finally they told me you withdrew for medical reasons. I was worried something had happened…” her voice trailed off.
In the silence was the obvious change Remus had undergone since they’d met last. Ten years had passed for both of them. In that time Sirius had grown into a woman. Remus had become a monster.
“Something did,” Remus answered finally. She figured she could offer some sort of explanation, at least. “I had cystic fibrosis. It affects your lungs- it’s…” Terminal . For some reason, though she’d been dead for years, Remus couldn’t say that part to Sirius. “I was sick for a long time.”
“But you survived,” Sirius said encouragingly.
“Next best thing.” The side of Remus’s mouth pulled up into a half smile, revealing one sharp canine.
Despite recent events, Sirius didn’t seem frightened at all to be alone with a vampire. “Lucky for me,” she shrugged breezily. “I would’ve been generic-brand-Dracula’s lunch meat if you hadn’t been there tonight.”
“Nah, I think you pretty much had the situation under control,” Remus joked. “I just finished him off for you.”
They both laughed. Remus hadn’t heard the sound of Sirius' laughter in a lifetime, but she found herself just as eager to inspire the sound again as she had been that day in school.
“Did you… I mean did you really… finish him off?” Sirius asked.
Right. Remus still had some explaining to do. “Yeah, he’s… well he’s dead. I mean, he was already dead, but you know. Dead dead.”
“Oh.” Sirius bit her lip.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Mary sort of has a zero tolerance policy on vampires… overindulging.”
It was the only way a place like The Blackbird could stay open. The Vampire Court had struck a deal with the city cops. Since then, the MacDonalds had carte blanche from every higher power in the city to enforce their rules.
“Mary?”
“Her family owns the club,” Remus explained. “She’s kind of my boss.”
Typically, working as a bouncer didn’t involve saving fair maidens from creatures of the night. But Remus knew how to handle herself in a brawl, if it came to that. She’d faced far worse than the thirsty patrons of The Blackbird Club.
“Oh,” Sirius said. “No need to apologize. I don’t really care about him. I mean- not that I don’t care that he’s dead. Not-un-dead. For-real-dead. Whatever. I just didn’t really know him,” she stammered.
“First date?”
“Sort of.” Sirius said, biting her lip. “He’s a client. That’s my job, I get paid to go out with guys like him. Not vampires. Usually. Just rich dudes.”
“Oh, that’s…” Remus wasn’t sure how she’d planned to finish that sentence. The Sirius she remembered from school had seemed well off enough to never have to work a day in her life. But things changed, she supposed.
“It’s a living,” Sirius supplied.
‘Course,” Remus agreed. “Do you like it?”
“Honestly? I’m trying to quit,” Sirius admitted with a short laugh.
“I think anyone would after tonight.” Remus said. “Do you want me to call anyone to pick you up?”
“No, no, that’s okay. I don’t want to bother anyone,” Sirius said hurriedly. “Just a cab, if you don’t mind.”
Remus called the cab, and then walked back over to where Sirius had stayed on the couch, heart monitor discarded by her thigh. Sirius looked up at her and smiled.
“I’m really glad you were here tonight,” Sirius said, finally. “Not just because you saved my life, but that it was you . It’s good to see you again.”
Remus felt her cheeks heat all the way up to her forehead. “It’s good to see you again, too,” she stammered, staring down at her feet.
There passed a moment of silence where neither of them said anything, just sharing the same space after so many years. Battered and bloodied and half dead, but somehow, together again. Remus hadn’t felt so lucky since the last time she’d seen Sirius Black smile.
“This dress is shot to hell,” Sirius remarked after a moment, tugging at the blood matted fabric stuck to her chest.
Remus wrinkled her nose. “I’d offer to trade, but mine’s just as bad,” she said, looking down at her own blood and gut spattered clothing.
Sirius laughed. She fixed Remus with a determined look. “Hey, could I take you out sometime? Just to say thanks, for tonight,” she said smoothly. “And for that day when we were kids. You’ve saved my ass twice now, the least I can do is buy you dinner.”
Remus raised one amused eyebrow.
“Well, not dinner but- oh, something else. I’ll come up with something. It’ll be fun.”
Remus wanted so badly to say yes. If she were a different girl, with a different life…
But she was a different girl than she’d been back when they’d first met. That girl had died years ago, that life ended in blood and violence.
It still didn’t change anything.
“You really don’t have to do that,” Remus said, as much of a declination as she could manage. “Thanks for the offer, though. I mean it.”
They both heard the cab honk outside. “That’s your ride,” Remus said.
Sirius looked anxiously out the window behind Remus, where the car waited. Remus helped her stand up, letting her lean heavily on her arm. After a moment of deliberation, Sirius determined to keep her high heels on for the short walk outside.
“Are you sure you’re alright to get home?” Remus asked.
“I’ll be fine. My doorman’s seen me in worse shape, Sirius joked. “But I was serious about doing something to thank you. I promise, I won’t take up too much of your time. Are you free Friday, around 7? The sun should have already set but that should still be early enough that you’re not working yet.”
“Oh, I’m-” Remus started. At that moment the cabbie honked again.
“Perfect,” Sirius said, showing off her dazzling smile. It hadn’t been dimmed by Remus' blood in her mouth. “I’ll pick you up here,” she stumbled into the backseat of the cab. “Can’t wait!”
Speechless, Remus could only wave goodbye as Sirius closed the cab door and drove off into the night.
It occurred to Remus then that Sirius Black was not the kind of girl one could deny.
Mary found her when she went back inside.
“You’re done for the night, Moony,” she said, waving Remus’s time card in her face and shoving it into her hands. “I’ll handle the paperwork. Just get yourself cleaned up.”
“I’m really alright. I can finish my shift if you-”
“I think you’ve worked hard enough,” Mary cut her off, eyeing her grimy clothes and face.
“Alright,” Remus relented, sighing and pocketing her time card. Mary studied her for a moment.
“What are you smiling about?” She asked, teasing.
“Huh?” Remus hadn’t realized she’d been smiling. Sure enough her cheeks were tight.
Mary rolled her eyes. “I should let you kill bloodsuckers more often if it makes you so happy.”
“It’s nothing,” Remus shrugged, turning away and heading up the stairs to her little studio above the club. She tucked her chin to her chest, hiding her face, the ghost of a blush. “Nothing.”