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English
Series:
Part 14 of Secret ID Reveals , Part 33 of Fluff and Happy Things
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Dusk's Favorite Works, I read this instead of sleeping
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Published:
2023-11-11
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896
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1/1
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ID Reveal, Except No IDs Are Revealed

Summary:

"Oh, I'm not Flash. I mean, I am Flash, but I'm not Flash-Flash as in JL-Flash."

Clark is confused.

Notes:

For Taxi! I liked your prompt of "Flashfam ID Reveal" -- the chaos opportunities were exponential and I delighted in it.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

"Oh, I'm not Flash. I mean, I am Flash, but I'm not Flash-Flash as in JL-Flash. Not your Flash. I'm subbing in for him because his wife is, like, actively giving birth."

All chatter cut immediately, almost as if on cue.

"What?" Clark blinked a few times.

"I said that I'm not, you know. Flash-Flash. Your Flash. I'm like. Substitute teacher. But I'm a substitute Flash. Flash Three."

"Three?" Clark asked, a little faintly.

"Yeah? JSA-Flash, JL-Flash, Me-Flash. Three."

Clark turned away from the scarlet speedster and looked to Diana for help. "Him-Flash," he said.

Diana shrugged, eyes wide with surprise.

So, Clark turned to Batman for help (skipping over Arthur and Shayera), instead.

Batman was already looking at "Flash Three," absolutely nonplussed. Maddeningly unsurprised and stoic, really. "Is your aunt well?"

Clark mouthed the question to himself.

"Oh, for sure. It was a perfect pregnancy, all things considered. Twins, speedster meta-gene, you'd think there would be more problems," Flash Three grinned.

And Clark knew simple math. If Flash's wife was giving birth, and Flash's wife was Flash Three's aunt, that meant that Flash Three was Flash's nephew. Which was way too many iterations of the word "Flash" in a single thought. Clark cleared his throat. "Okay… right. If that's the only hiccup?" Clark glanced around and—

The Green Lantern in Hal's place at the table wasn't Hal. It was a younger guy doodling on the back of the meeting itinerary, but a guy kitted out in a GL uniform, all the same.

It was odd that Batman hadn't called out Hal's absence.

Clark glanced at Batman, once more, then turned back to the young GL sitting next to John Stewart. "Sorry, but I have to ask—you're, uh, not our usual Lantern…"

Not-Hal glanced up, clearly nervous.

"That's Kyle," Flash Three said.

"Kyle," Clark echoed.

"Hal, uh. Took a personal day?" Kyle offered. He glanced at John Stewart, then at Flash Three, for approval of some kind.

"He's at the hospital," Flash Three said.

Clerk reluctantly turned back to Flash Three. "The hospital?"

"Yeah. His metamour is giving birth and he wanted to be there for his boyfriend and his metamour," Flash Three said. "Do you guys, like, not know this stuff, or something?"

"Flash is…" Clark stalled out, there. Flash always seemed remarkably open and chatty. He just managed to never talk about his personal life, at the same time. Clark had no idea what Central's favourite hero did when he wasn't cowled up. He also had no idea that whatever he did, outside of the cowl, might be something he did with Hal Jordan, of all people.

Sure, they seemed to pal around. But Flash was kind of friendly with everyone.

"So, you're telling me that Hal and Flash are at the hospital while, uh, your aunt is giving birth?" Clark clarified. "And you and 'Kyle' are subbing in for… some reason?"

"Mostly so that you can tick a GL and a Flash off your attendance list or whatever," Flash Three shrugged and tossed Clark a blinding grin.

Clark nodded again.

"I can speak for Kyle," John Stewart spoke up. "Kilowog oversaw his Corps training."

"What's a Kilowog, again?" Ollie muttered. (Dinah elbowed him in the ribs.)

Clark turned to Batman, expecting some kind of negative from him. Something to indicate that he was, at the very least, extremely displeased with the absences, especially if there wasn't forewarning—wait. "Did you already know they weren't coming, B?" Clark asked.

Bruce grunted in the affirmative. Probably. (Clark still had trouble interpreting the Bat's grunts, sometimes. It was a work in progress.)

"Right. Okay." Clark felt himself deflate a bit.

"Oh, don't worry about it too much, Big Guy," Flash Three piped up, grinning that eternal sunshine grin of his. "The Bat has the League's best interests in mind."

"No, of course," Clark said, vaguely offended. "I trust B."

Flash Three nodded. "See, that's why your my husband's favourite. The loyalty and unerring faith. Also the smile. He says great things about your smile and, ya know?, I can see why."

Clark filed that away, too.

Flash had a wife, a boyfriend, a nephew, and a… nephew-in-law? The wife was giving birth to twins, actively. The boyfriend was Hal Jordan. The nephew was also a speedster. And the nephew-in-law's favourite superhero wasn't Flash for some reason.

"Oh, speaking of," Flash Three made a grabby hand toward Batman, to get his attention. "N says he'll be home for dinner tonight, but he might be a bit late. Something something, he was hoping Penny-One might push dinner out an hour, so that he could eat with you guys."

Batman grunted again.

And Clark blue screened. Hard. Because it sounded like the mysterious Flashes had a connection to the even-more-mysterious Bat.

Clark sat down in his chair, dumbfounded. If he didn't have a perfect memory, he would have been tempted to write it all down, so that he would forget any of the numerous, world-axis-shifting bombshells that Flash Three had managed to drop, over the course of the last ten minutes, alone.

"I will pass the request on to Penny-One," Batman muttered.

"Cool. You guys'll be the first I text when the twins are born, by the way. Honourary family and all."

Batman grunted again, but Clark was pretty sure it was one of his more pleased grunts.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!