Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beverly Katz created a group chat

Beverly Katz added Brian Zeller, Jimmy Price, Jack Crawford, Will Graham, Alana Bloom, and +1(***) *** - ****

Beverly Katz renamed the group chat to 'yeah, so that happened'

Beverly Katz: heyyyyy guyssss

Jack Crawford: oh hell no

Jack Crawford left the group chat

Brian Zeller: Well damn

Jimmy Price: LOL

Beverly Katz: WTF 😭😭😭

Will Graham: why the hell am I in here???

Alana Bloom: Hello everyone 😃

Beverly Katz - replying to Will Graham: Because I haven't heard a word from you in a whole ass year

Will Graham: YA'LL ARRESTED ME AND LEFT ME IN THE BSHCI TO ROT

Brian Zeller: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE RIPPER!!

Will Graham: whatever fake ass hoes

Alana Bloom: 😭😭😭

Beverly Katz: WE'RE SORRY 😭

Jimmy Price: Sorry Will :(

Brian Zeller: ...

Brian Zeller: I'm not sorry

Beverly Katz: ZELLER.

Will Graham: FUCK YOU 🖕🏼🖕🏼

Brian Zeller: im proud to be a hater

+1(***) *** - ****: Now, now, Will. Calm down, there's no need for such language.

multiple people are typing...

Will Graham: oh what the fuck oh my fucking god what the fuck who let him in here

Brian Zeller: ??? Who is this??? Why did you add them Bev?

Jimmy Price: 🤨

Beverly Katz: Idk there was just a note on my desk that said 'add me ;)' with the number on it

Brian Zeller: And you just added them?? 😭

Will Graham: REMOVE HIM IMMEDIATELY.

+1(***) *** - ****: Your words hurt me, Will. I thought we had something special.

Alana Bloom: ...

Alana Bloom: Why is Hannibal here?

Beverly Katz: THATS DR LECTER??

Jimmy Price: 😱😱😱

Brian Zeller: Uhm what the fuck?!

Will Graham: stfu Hannibal how do you even have a phone?? YOUR IN PRISON!!

+1(***) *** - ****: It's 'you're' Will and I have my ways.

Will Graham: 🖕🏼

Beverly Katz: damn this is wild

Will Graham: YOURE THE ONE WHO ADDED HIM?!?!

Jimmy Price: No one add back Crawford

Brian Zeller: Jimmy why are you supporting this

Beverly Katz changed

+1(***) *** - ****'s name to 'the imposter'

the imposter: What does this mean?

Will graham: im gonna kms istfg

Alana Bloom: Shouldn't we kick him out or like tell Chilton about this?

Beverly Katz: nah its way more fun this way

Brian Zeller: Who gave this man a phone?? 😭

the imposter: Hello?

Will Graham: ew fuck chilton dont text him 🖕🏼🤢

Jimmy Price: Don't tell Chilton!

Brian Zeller: This gc is a fucking mess

the imposter: Why is this my name? How do I change it?

Beverly Katz: dont worry abt it dr lecter 😇

the imposter: I see.

Beverly Katz: okay why did you say it like that

Will Graham: im going to pass out

Jimmy Price: Just take a deep breath Will it's gonna be okay :)

Alana Bloom: im not sure how to feel about this

Brian Zeller: Yeah I think im gonna tell Crawford

Jimmy Price: NO

Beverly Katz: NO

Will Graham: NO

Brian Zeller: WE ARE FBI AGENTS. THE SERIAL KILLER SHOULDN'T HAVE A PHONE.

the imposter - replying to Alana Bloom: I apologize for cheating on you in the past, Alana.

Brian Zeller: WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT

Beverly Katz: I JUST SPAT OUT MY FUCKING DRINK

Jimmy Price: 🫢😰😱

Will Graham: why are you like this

Alana Bloom: You cheated on me??? 😭

the imposter: Yes, I apologize.

Alana Bloom: You know what thats fine, nothing's worse than your surrogate daughter pushing me out of a window and leaving me paralyzed from the waist down

Beverly Katz: OOP SECURITY

Jimmy Price: 😭😭

Alana Bloom: Just. Who was it?

the imposter is typing...

the imposter is typing...

the imposter is typing...

Brian Zeller: damn was it a lot of people orrrr

the imposter is typing...

the imposter: It was Will.

multiple people are typing...

Beverly Katz: I FUCKING KNEW KT

Beverly Katz: I KNEW IT THSI WHOLE TIME

Brian Zeller: OH WHAT THE FUCK

Alana Bloom: oh

Jimmy Price: 😭😱😱🤭

Will Graham: for the last time

Will Graham: WE DID NOT DATE MF!!

the imposter: Maybe not officially, but we had something special.

Will Graham: By special do you mean trying to kill me twice, shoving abi's ear down my throat after you drugged me, framing me for your murders, and making my encephalitis WORSE

Beverly Katz: bro is a victim 😭

Jimmy Price: oh boy

Alana Bloom: okay im suddenly thankful that I didn't have anything 'special' with Hannibal

Brian Zeller: Seriously should I tell Crawford abt this?? 😭😭

the imposter: ...

the imposter: Well, when you say it like that.

Will Graham: 🖕🏼🖕🏼

Chapter Text

Beverly Katz: good morning

Beverly Katz changed Will Graham's name to 'graham cracker'

graham cracker: this feels racially motivated

Beverly Katz: dont think too hard about it sweetie

Beverly Katz: also did you know that your students made a betting pool on whether or not you were dating dr lecter

Brian Zeller: oh yeah I totally forgot about that

graham cracker: excuse me what

Beverly Katz: a LOT of students were in on it lmao

graham cracker: is that why they stared every time hannibal came to class??

Jimmy Price: I mean you guys clearly had some...tension

Beverly Katz: and by tension we mean dr lecter totally wanted to suck your face off

graham cracker: im disappointed in you

Beverly Katz: :'(

the imposter: See, Will? Even the students believed we had something special.

graham cracker: stop with the 'something special' bit or i'll tell chilton you have a phone

Brian Zeller: wow not you being a tattle tale

Jimmy Price: be nice Will :(

Beverly Katz: yeah youre being a meanie

graham cracker: HE IS A SERIAL KILLER!!

Beverly Katz: well at least dr lecter never hurt my feelings

the imposter: Thank you, Beverly.

Jack Crawford added themself to the group chat

Beverly Katz: WHAT

graham cracker: I-

Jimmy Price: 😱😱‼️‼️

Brian Zeller: oh shit

Jack Crawford: Can someone tell my why Dr. Chilton just called me about Hannibal Lecter allegedly, and I say allegedly because they can't find it, having a phone?

Jack Crawford is typing...

Jack Crawford: Wait a minute.

graham cracker: fuck im going back to prison

Brian Zeller: listen I told you guys to tell Jack

Jimmy Price: 😣😣

Jack Crawford is typing...

Jack Crawford: WHY IS HANNIBAL LECTER IN YOUR GODDAMN GROUP CHAT BEVERLY KATZ.

Beverly Katz: SCATTER

Jack Crawford: WAS IT YOU WHO GAVE HIM THE PHONE GRAHAM?!

graham cracker: NO. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR A WHOLE YEAR.

graham cracker: WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING THAT I DID IT?

Jack Crawford: I know you had an intimate relationship with Dr. Lecter.

graham cracker: I DIDNT??

graham cracker: HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT ME AND HANNIBAL WERE FUCKING??/?/?!!!?

Jimmy Price: me

Brian Zeller: me

Beverly Katz: me

Alana Bloom: ...

Alana Bloom: me

Jack Crawford: See?

Beverly Katz: @ the imposter pls respond

the imposter: Hello, Jack.

Jack Crawford: I can't believe this. YOU ARE IN THE BSHCI, YOU CAN'T HAVE A PHONE.

the imposter: It gets terribly lonely by myself here, I'm sure you understand.

Jack Crawford is typing...

Jack Crawford: Mark my words, Dr. Lecter. We will find that phone and once we do, we're taking your goddamn toilet away.

the imposter: Wait what

Beverly Katz: omfg not the toilet 😭😭

Brian Zeller: damn 😭

graham cracker: Im actually not sure if I support that

Jimmy Price: #cancelled

Jack Crawford left the group chat

Beverly Katz: damn you better hide that phone dr lecter

the imposter: He will never find it.

Chapter Text

Beverly Katz: @the imposter so you like ate people right?

Brian Zeller: seriously Katz??

graham cracker: im kmsing rn

the imposter: Yes, I do.

Beverly Katz: ...

Beverly Katz: okay ignoring the use of present tense

Beverly Katz: for science purposes, what does it taste like

graham cracker: im calling the police

Jimmy Price: 🤢

Beverly Katz: OH SHUT UP I KNOW IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOS CURIOUS

Alana Bloom: yes, but no one was going to ask the actual cannibalistic serial killer that

the imposter: Are you sure you want me to answer that question, Ms. Katz?

Beverly Katz: uhhhhh

Brian Zeller: okay ominous af

Jimmy Price: 😰😰😖

graham cracker - replying to the imposter : youre such a drama queen 🙄

graham cracker: it tastes like pork Bev

multiple people are typing...

Brian Zeller: GET HIM BEHIND BARS RIGHT NOW

Beverly Katz: UHM WILL???

Jimmy Price: 🫢

Alana Bloom: oh, thats not...

graham cracker: CAN YOU ALL CALM DOWN?? HANNIBAL FED US PEOPLE BEFORE REMEMBER??

Beverly Katz: oh

Beverly Katz: right

Jimmy Price: Yeah, that's why I'm vegetarian now 😔

Brian Zeller: he what

graham cracker: dont tell me you didnt know

Brian Zeller: YOURE LYING WHEN DID HE DO THAT?

Jimmy Price : Zeller, sweetie, it was like every dinner we had with him

Alana Bloom: His beer was even made with human parts

Alana Bloom: it was in the case file

Brian Zeller: im gonna be sick

graham cracker: dont worry man, it'll pass

Brian Zeller: shut up you slept with him

graham cracker: OMFG I DID NOT.

graham cracker: CAN WE STOP SAYING THAT PLEASE

the imposter: I apologize for the distress I put you through, Zeller.

graham cracker: youre such a fake bitch

Brian Zeller: please do not talk to me right now

Beverly Katz: I shouldn't have asked

Alana Bloom: yeah...

the imposter - replying to graham cracker : Please stop being so mean to me, Will. All I've ever done is love you.

graham cracker: please stop

graham cracker: this is not helping the sex allegations

Beverly Katz: you two need couples therapy

Beverly Katz: or just like...therapy in general

Jimmy Price is typing...

Jimmy Price: Wait didn't Dr. Lecter used to be your therapist Will?

graham cracker: ...

graham cracker: no comment

Beverly Katz: oh my god you were sleeping with your therapist?!?!

Alana Bloom: I kept saying their relationship was unethical

graham cracker: I give up

Chapter Text

Beverly Katz added +1(***) *** - ****

Beverly Katz: I got another note guys

Brian Zeller: if the first number was a serial killer's phone number WHY WOULD YOU ADD THIS ONE???

Alana Bloom: you seriously need to figure out who's leaving those notes Bev

Beverly Katz: listen dont hate the player hate the game

graham cracker: that doesnt even make sense

the imposter is typing...

the imposter: Hello, Bedelia.

+1(***) *** - ****: How did you get this number, Hannibal.

Beverly Katz: uhhh my bad, your number was just on my desk

Brian Zeller: Who even are you?

graham cracker: oh not this bitch again

Beverly Katz: ???

+1(***) *** - ****: Graham.

+1(***) *** - ****: How are you? Still alone in your little hut in the woods?

graham cracker: I'm great actually.

graham cracker: How's the leg treating you? Oh right, you don't have one.

Jimmy Price: 🫢🫣

Beverly Katz: OH-

+1(***) *** - ****: You are a sniveling, pathetic, puny little man.

graham cracker: get a new insult bitch 🖕🏼

Beverly Katz: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??

Jimmy Price: #tea ??

Brian Zeller: what is happening

the imposter: Please do not fight, you two.

graham cracker - replying to the imposter : SHUT UP

+1(***) *** - **** - replying to the imposter : Don't talk to me, please.

the imposter: ...

Alana Bloom: Bedelia Du Maurier was Hannibal's old therapist whom he fled to Florence with, remember?

Beverly Katz changed +1(***) *** - ****'s name to Bedelia

Beverley Katz: Oh my god Dr. Lecter are you a player???

Brian Zeller: what even is this timeline of events?? when did dr lecter have time to do any of this??

Bedelia: You'd be surprised with how many people Hannibal has cheated on.

Bedelia: All because of a sweaty, dog hair ridden, sickly little man.

graham cracker: oh shut up you alcoholic, u just wish you had what we had 🖕🏼🖕🏼

Bedelia: Please, your relationship was toxic.

graham cracker: pot meet fucking kettle

Beverly Katz: A cat fight is not what I expected to witness on this sunny afternoon

Jimmy Price: Is everyone dating their therapists??

Brian Zeller: so like did you sleep with dr lecter or not will?? make up your mind

graham cracker: I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM

the imposter - replying to Brian Zeller : Our relationship went beyond physical needs. We were connected in our minds, hearts, and souls. You could call us soulmates.

Jimmy Price: oh wow 😳

graham cracker: hannibal I implore you to stop

graham cracker: you tried to cut my head open with a bonesaw because you couldn't handle your emotions

Bedelia: Interesting, he never did that to me.

graham cracker: HE TOOK YOUR LEG. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME.

Brian Zeller: fighting over whose relationship was less toxic than the other is crazy

Brian Zeller: You guys need help

Bedelia: I am a therapist.

graham cracker: retired of old age 🙄🤚

Bedelia: I will ruin you, Will Graham.

graham cracker: try me bitch

graham cracker: meet me outside the academy at 2am tonight

graham cracker: we'll see just who ruins who

the imposter: Please, don't do that.

Beverly Katz: oh my god are they actually gonna fight im throwing up rn

Jimmy Price: I'll bring popcorn

Brian Zeller: I'm confused are they fighting or fucking

the imposter: PLEASE, do not do either of those.

Chapter Text

Beverly Katz changed their name to 'Bev'

Bev: There that's better

Bev: Also, @the imposter did your phone get taken? It's been two days

Brian Zeller: damn he doesnt have a toilet rip

Brian Zeller: also can you change my name to zeller and jimmy's to price pls

Bev: ye I gotchu

Beverly Katz changed Brian Zeller's name to 'zebra'

Beverly Katz changed Jimmy Price's name to '$$$'

zebra: bruh

zebra: that is not what I said

graham cracker: lmfao get rekt

zebra: you are 5 years old

the imposter - replying to Bev: Hello, Mrs. Katz. I'm alright, I have just been released from solitary confinement.

Bev: Bro 😭😭😭

zebra: what did you do??

graham cracker: wasn't eating people enough 😒

the imposter: An inmate attempted to ejaculate on my clothing as I was wheeled passed his cell, so I broke through my restraints, grabbed him through the bars, and sent him to the medical wing.

zebra: AN INMATE WHAT???

Alana Bloom: oh

Bev: that is not what I expected

graham cracker: are you the fucking hulk

graham cracker: wdym u broke through your restraints??? 😭

the imposter: It is easy once you get the hang of it.

graham cracker: that shouldn't be possible

the imposter: Will, you've experienced my strength firsthand.

zebra: WOAHHHHHHHHH

Bev: WOAHHHHHHH

Alana Bloom: My goodness

graham cracker: CAN YOU NOT SAY STUFF LIKE THAT PLEASE

the imposter: Stuff like what?

graham cracker: dont act innocent hannibal you are a 48 year old man

Bev: im fuckinf crying rn

zebra: you're never gonna beat the sex allegations

graham cracker: oh yeah? and what if I just add freddie lounds to the chat? what then?

Alana Bloom: DO NOT DO THAT

the imposter: NO.

Bev: NO

zebra: NO

$$$: NO

Bedelia: NO

graham cracker: damn I was just joking 😭

zebra: jokes on you graham, freddie would actually agree with us

Bev: yeah haven't you seen her Murder Husband's clothing line?

the imposter: her what

graham cracker: The what.

Bedelia: What.

Bev: she released a bunch of merchandise for you two

Bev: it was a huge hit

$$$: I bought a shirt

zebra: babe, when did you do that? why???

$$$: no comment 🫢

graham cracker: omfg why is an edit of hannibal hugging me with hearts around it on a tshirt

graham cracker: WHY HAVE OVER 25K PEOPLE BOUGHT THE SHIRT

Bev: you two are like marketable or smth

the imposter: I would like to purchase one of these shirts.

graham cracker: NO YOU DO NOT.

$$$: I'll send one in the mail Dr. Lecter 😊

the imposter: Thank you, Jimmy.

graham cracker: I DID NOT THROW MYSELF OFF OF A CLIFF FOR THIS

zebra: think on the bright side man, not everyone hates you

Bev: yeah!

graham cracker: was that supposed to make me feel better?? 😭😭

Alana Bloom: Its disturbing the amount of fanfictions you two have

the imposter: What is a fanfiction?

graham cracker: no

graham cracker: youre lying

zebra: holy fucking shit that is a LOT

Bev: oh. my. god. WHAT

Bev: YOUR SHIP NAME IS HANNIGRAM IM FUCKING SCREAMINF

$$$ - replying to the imposter: Fanfictions are fictional stories written by fans about movies or tv-shows that feature their favorite characters, but fanfics can be written about real life people too

$$$: In this case, people like writing about you and Will together romantically 🫣😳

the imposter: I see, I think I like these fictional stories.

Bedelia: I need a fucking drink

graham cracker: I actually agree with you for once

Bedelia: dont do that

graham cracker: well fuck you too then 🖕🏼

Bev: some of these are scarily accurate

zebra: the human mind never ceases to amaze me

graham cracker: im going to bed

graham cracker: I dont want to hear any more shit about murder husbands or fanfictions

Bev: oh just wait till you see the fan edits on tiktok

graham cracker: GOODNIGHT.

the imposter: Send them to me please, Ms. Katz.

Chapter Text

Bev: im bored

Bev: @everyone whats the craziest thing someones said to you before

zebra: I had someone tell me I look like a carnival goat

Bev: well did you fight them about it

zebra: no 💀 it was a little girl

graham cracker: ...

graham cracker: I still wouldve swung

Alana Bloom: you should never be allowed around kids

graham cracker: all I did was breathe

Bev: YOU JUST SAID YOUD FIGHT A LITTLE GIRL

graham cracker: I have no idea what youre talking about

graham cracker deleted a message

zebra: bro...we all saw that

graham cracker: STFU IM NOT TRYING TO GO BACK TO PRISON

Bev: ANYWAYS

Bev: @$$$ wbu?

$$$: uhhh I'm not sure

$$$: I guess when Jack told us that Will was the Chesapeake Ripper

graham cracker: yeah I was surprised when he told me that too 💀

zebra: tru that was insane but like I lowkey had a feeling you would kill someone sooner or later

graham cracker: what

$$$: yeah me too

$$$: you were pretty...unstable 😀

graham cracker: I was suffering from encephalitis 💀

Bev: okay but does the recovery process include seducing a cannibalistic serial killer? 🤔🤔

zebra: yeah thats pretty sus

graham cracker: JACK TOLD ME TO GET CLOSE TO HANNIBAL TO CATCH HIM

Bev: okay but he didn't tell you to HONEY TRAP HIM

graham cracker: I DID NOT HONEY TRAP HIM??? HELLO???

Alana Bloom: Will, don't lie to yourself. You got Hannibal to agree with our plan to catch the Tooth Fairy by coquettely batting your eyelashes at him and practically moaning "I need you Hannibal, please."

zebra: aaaAAAAYOOOOO 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️

Bev: YOU DID NOT DO THAT.

$$$: okay

$$$: thats pretty homosexual

graham cracker: I DID NOT MOAN ALANA

the imposter: I have to admit, it was very convincing.

graham cracker: OH SO NOW YOU SHOW UP

Bev: LFMOAOAHAA

Bedelia: Even I wouldn't stoop so low.

graham cracker: shut the fuck up whore!!

zebra: DAMN 💀💀

Bev: omg hes out for blood HELP

Bev: SECURITY!!

the imposter - replying to graham cracker: Will, you should not call women whores.

graham cracker: oh be quiet Hannibal you're the biggest slut here

the imposter : Well, I never.

zebra: IM CRYING 😭😭

Bev: STOSP IM LOTERALLY GONNA THROW UPP 😭

Alana Bloom: This is getting so out of hand

Bev: Okay now that everyone has calmed down

Bev: @Alana Bloom do you wanna answer the question?

Alana Bloom: Oh we're still doing this?

Bev: sure if you want

Alana Bloom: Alright well...

Alana bloom is typing...

Alana Bloom: On the day Hannibal almost killed Jack, I was terrified and asked him "Where's Jack?" and he said "In the pantry" but he also mocked the way I said it 😐

Bev: who knew dr lecter could be so petty 💀

zebra: thats messed up :/

Alana Bloom: yeah tell me about it and then I was thrown out of a window

the imposter: I apologize, Alana.

Alana Bloom: I don't forgive you 💀

the imposter: Okay

Bev: uhhh what about you @Bedelia?

Bedelia is typing...

Bedelia: While in Florence, Hannibal always fed me a specific meal everyday and we had a dinner guest that pointed out that the food I was eating was used by the ancient romans to improve their animal's flavor

zebra: ...

Bev: ...

Alana Bloom: ...

Bev: im sensing a pattern here 

graham cracker: deserved 

graham cracker : hope that leg tasted good

the imposter: Have some class, Will.

Bev : Jesus 😭😭

zebra : now thats the craziest thing ive seen someone say to someone

graham cracker - replying to the imposter: youre the one who took her leg??

the imposter: Hm, no comment.

Bev: wow

Bev: just wow

Bev: im speechless

Bev: well why dont u share with the class then Will

graham cracker: sure

graham cracker: do you want a list 😐

Bev: oh right you dated the serial killer

Bev: well whats the craziest thing hes said to u then?

graham cracker: uhh let me think about it

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker is typing...

Bev: @the imposter damn did you read him an essay or something

the imposter: I don't believe I ever have, so I'm not sure what's taking him so long.

zebra: this feels like watching paint dry

graham cracker: Hannibal compared us to Achilles and Patroclus then said "Achilles wished all Greeks would die, so that he and Patroclus could conquer Troy alone. It took divine intervention to bring them down."

Bev: oh

Alana Bloom: oh

Bedelia: oh

$$$: oh wow...

zebra: he said that to you?

graham cracker: ...yeah?

zebra: ...

zebra: and you didnt at least suck his dick? 😭

graham cracker: BRUH

Bev: I mean I wasn't gonna say it

Alana Bloom: you guys are insufferable

Bedelia: He said that and you still had the audacity to ask me if Hannibal was in love with you?

Bev: bro be so fr 😭😭

zebra: Will has no game fr 😭

$$$: fr 😭

graham cracker: YOU GUYS TRY SEDUCING A SERIAL KILLER AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL 💀

the imposter: It saddens me to know that my feelings weren't reciprocated and it was all a deception.

graham cracker: well back then it was a deception

Bev: huh

zebra: huh

Alana Bloom: what

$$$: 😳🫣

the imposter: Pardon?

graham cracker: uhhhhh

graham cracker left the group chat

Bev: omfg bro really ran away 😭

Chapter Text

Jack Crawford added themself to the group chat

Jack Crawford added +1(***) *** - ****

Jack Crawford changed

+1(***) *** - ****'s name to Dr. Fredrick Chilton

Jack Crawford: You brought this upon yourself.

Jack Crawford left the group chat

Dr. Fredrick Chilton: Hello everyone 😄

Bev: what

zebra: what the

$$$: 🤢

Alana Bloom: Wow...that's crazy

Alana Bloom left the group chat

graham cracker: WHO LET THIS BITCH IN

Bedelia: Oh Lord Jesus

Bedelia left the group chat

Dr. Fredrick Chilton: I'm here to see if Hannibal the Cannibal is really here 🤔

graham cracker: i think im getting hives

graham cracker: my throat is closing up

zebra: oh god get him out of here

zebra: it stinks!!

Dr. Fredrick Chilton: ...

Bev renamed the group chat to 'the town square'

Bev changed Dr. Fredrick Chilton's name to 'the jester'

the jester: What?

Bev: unfunny man, you have been sentenced to public humiliation

Bev: bring in the tomatoes!!!

graham cracker: oh fuck yeah

graham cracker: 🍅🍅🍅💥🍅🍅💥🍅🍅💥🍅

Bev: 🍅🍅💥🍅🍅🍅

Bev: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

graham cracker: 🍅🍅🍅💥💥

$$$: BOOOO!!

zebra: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🫣💥🍅

zebra: BOOO!!!

graham cracker: BOOOOOO!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

graham cracker: 🍅🍅🍅🍅

zebra: BOOOOO

zebra: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅💥💥🍅💥🍅🍅

the jester: Excuse me?!

the jester: I am a respected psychiatrist and an established author! 😡

graham cracker: BOOOOOO!!! NOT FUNNY!!

graham cracker: STONE HIS ASS!

Bev: 🪨🪨🪨💥💥🪨💥

zebra: 🪨🪨💥🪨💥💥🪨🪨🪨🪨

$$$: 🪨🪨🪨🪨

$$$: BOOOOOOOOO

graham cracker: 🪨🪨💥🪨🖕🏼🖕🏼🪨🪨💥

Bev: 🪨🪨💥🪨🪨

zebra: BOOO!!

the jester: This is utterly ridiculous! You are all a bunch of children.

graham cracker: 🪨🪨🪨🪨

Bev: 🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨💥💥🪨🪨

$$$: 🪨🪨💥🪨🪨🪨🪨💥🪨🪨🪨

graham cracker:  oh my god...

graham cracker: did he just...

graham cracker: PISS HIMSELF??!?!?!

zebra: LMFAOOO 💀💀

Bev: oh my god gross!!! 

Bev: look at the wet stain!

$$$: 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮

the jester left the group chat

Bev: HUZZAH!!!

graham cracker: HAHAHSHAHAHHAHA

zebra: HURRAY!!!

$$$: 👯‍♂️👯‍♂️🎉🎉🥳🥳🍾🍻🍻🎊🍾👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

graham cracker: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

Bev: You need not fret, dear citizens. You are safe now! 🐎🙌🏼🍻🏰

the imposter: You are truly an inspiring group of friends.

Bev added Alana Bloom and Bedelia to the group chat

Bedelia: Is it gone?

zebra: see for yourself 🥱😏

Alana Bloom: OMG 😭😭

Alana Bloom: You guys made him leave by stoning him and telling him that he pissed himself???? 😭😭😭

Bedelia: I'm actually impressed.

graham cracker: we do not support chilton lives in this chat

zebra: hell no 😤😤

Bev renamed the group chat to 'dysfunctional family'

Bev added Jack Crawford to the group chat

Bev: are you proud of us?

Jack Crawford: ...

Jack Crawford: Yes.

Jack Crawford left the group chat

multiple people are typing...

zebra: omfg crops: watered, skin: clear, booty: poppin

Bev: omg

graham cracker: wow I never thought id see the day

$$$: I think I'm crying a little

the imposter: Wow.

Bedelia: I think a drink to celebrate is in order.

Alana Bloom: Please lay off the wine, you're going to get alchohol poisoning 😭

graham cracker: btw has anyone else wondered how Jack is able to add himself back to the chat and use admin controls???

graham cracker: no?

graham cracker: just me?

graham cracker: alright 💀

Chapter Text

Bev : does anyone remember that guy who shoved a cello down someones throat?? that shit was crazy

zebra: yeah and then graham started tweaking at the VICTIM WHO WAS DEAD ON THE TABLE 💀

zebra: I remember that clear as day bitch

graham cracker : please lord give me strength I WAS ILL

zebra : cant keep hiding behind that encephalitis... 😒

graham cracker: I give up

graham cracker: also I remember that case vividly too

graham cracker: because the fucking killer AND his boyfriend had a massive crush on Hannibal 🙄🙄🙄

graham cracker: talk about dysfunctional 😒

Bev: HUH??

Bev: elaborate pls!!

the imposter: Ah, yes. Tobias Budge and Franklyn Froideveaux.

graham cracker : yall are gonna love this shit

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker is typing...

Bev: sooooo hows ur day been dr lecter

the imposter: Quite good, Ms. Katz. I spent the afternoon drawing and was able to complete my most recent piece. How are you?

Bev: oh thats sick

Bev: whatd u draw? I didnt know u could draw

Bev: im alright, my cat briefly got out of the house but I was able to grab her b4 she ran off

graham cracker is typing...

the imposter: I'm glad to hear your cat did not get away, that would be unfortunate. I've recently finished drawing myself and Will depicted as Achilles and Patroclus. I was inspired by our previous messages.

Bev: oh you poor man

Bev: will can you just date the guy

Bev: hes drawing fanart of you two in prison 😭😭

graham cracker is typing...

Bev: oh?? he stopped typing for a little

graham cracker is typing...

Bev: nevermind

graham cracker: so hannibal had this patient named franklyn who was OBSESSED with him 😭 like when I say obsessed I mean literally stalking him and 'showing up' wherever he though Hannibal would be, this included wineries and THE FUCKING CHEESE SECTION OF WHOLE FOODS FOR SOME REASON??? 😭😭 but anyways franklyn decided to take his weird ass bf tobias to the opera to make Hannibal jealous or smth 😒 DIDNT WORK BTW BC TOBIAS ENDS UP BEING A PSYCHOPATHIC SERIAL KILLER WHO FALLS IN LOVE W HANNIBAL TOO 💀💀 like bitch please pick a struggle 🙄✋ and that cello victim?? yeah it was tobias trying to serenade hannibal 🤮🤮🤢 what a fucking pick me right??? and then he tried to get hannibal to be like??? murder buddies with him?? 😒 seriously get in line mf no one likes a cutter 😤 AND THEN franklyn shows up to his appt and says "yeahhh I think tobias is that cello killer 🥺 should I tell someone?? 🥺🥺 " YES BITCH WHY ARE YOU TELLING YOUR THERAPIST THIS??? WHAT IS HE GONNA DO?? THERAPIZE HIM INTO NOT KILLING??? 😭😭😭 and then tobias almost kills my ass and goes after hannibal for rejecting him 💀💀

Alana Bloom: Is

Alana Bloom: Is that seriously what happened?? 😭

Bev: im fucking speechless WHAT

zebra: how does dr lecter keep making people fall in love with him, this needs to be studied

the imposter - replying to Alana Bloom: Will summed it up rather perfectly, yes.

Bedelia: Your romantic escapades never cease to amaze me, Hannibal.

$$$: I guess it's true what they say about serial killers being very charismatic and handsome

Bev: did you just call dr lecter hot

the imposter: Thank you, Jimmy.

zebra - replying to $$$: babe wtf

Alana Bloom: I cant even be mad I fell for it too

graham cracker: same

Bev: 🤨

zebra: 🤨

$$$: 🤨📸

graham cracker: BRUH

Bedelia: You are a pathetic little man

graham cracker: get OFF MY ASS BEDELIA 😭😭🖕🏼🖕🏼

zebra: serial killers just flock to hannibal dont they

the imposter is typing...

the imposter: I'd argue that serial killers flock to Will equally as much.

graham cracker: my sarcastic bitch senses are going off

graham cracker: is this abt matthew? istg hannibal if this is abt matthew 💀

Alana Bloom: Matthew?? Are you talking about Matthew Brown? The orderly?

the imposter: Yes, he was rather...interested in Will.

Bev - replying to graham cracker: BITCH WASNT THAT THE GUY IN CHARGE OF WATCHING YOU 😭😭

Bev: WAS HE A SERIAL KILLER TOO??

graham cracker: ...

graham cracker: yes

zebra: wtf even is your luck

Alana Bloom: Why were there so many serial killers in Baltimore at one time?? 😭

Bev: apparently they wanted a piece of that hannigram booty

graham cracker: literally never say that string of words ever again

zebra: so what happened w matthew then???

graham cracker is typing...

graham cracker: he basically pretended to be the copycat killer to keep me out of jail but I didnt know it was him at the time so I had freddie lounds write me a little section in her blog to reach out to him

graham cracker: imagine my surprise when my fucking orderly was like "hey bby im a big fan lemme hop on that dick rq 😏 " LIKE NO GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LITERALLY WHEEL ME AROUND 😭😭

Bev: LMFAO WHATTNDHS

zebra: HE WHAT.

$$$: 😭😭⁉️⁉️

the imposter: Will's loyalty to me touches my heart even to this day.

graham cracker: hannibal I sent him TO KILL YOU

Bev: WHAT

$$$: 🫢

Zebra: WHAT

Bedelia: ?

the imposter: I know, Will. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment though. I forgave you for that a long time ago, you were suffering from a mental illness at the time after all.

graham cracker: YOU CANNOT KEEP TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT MY ENCEPHALITIS WAS JUST A MENTAL ILLNESS!!!

Bev: you guys are a fucking mess 😭😭

Bedelia is typing...

Bedelia is typing...

Bedelia: In light of all these revelations I would like to confess that Hannibal cried during one of my appointments because Will was in the BSHCI.

Bev: OMFGS???? NOT YOU EXPOSING HANNIBAL!!/???

zebra: the tea is PIPING today

the imposter: ...

Alana Bloom: Hannibal cried? 😭

graham cracker: HANNIBAL YOU WERE THE ONE YOU FRAMED ME FOR MURDER AND PUT ME THERE?!:?:?!!??

the imposter: Well, I did not anticipate you would stay there.

$$$: Dr Lecter was just feeling a little silly

graham cracker: YOU PLANTED EVIDENCE IN MY HOUSE AND TURNED MY FISHING LURES INTO TROPHIES 😭💀💀

zebra: what the fuck was even your guys' relationship

zebra: what happened to just going on a date or just talking to each other??? 😭😭

the imposter - replying to Bedelia: Perhaps an arm this time.

Bev: oh jesus

Bev: SECURITY!!!

graham cracker: I cant do this anymore 💀

Bedelia left the group chat

Chapter Text

Bev added Bedelia to the group chat

Bev changed Bedelia's name to 'wine aunt'

Bev: @wine aunt r u alive?

wine aunt: Yes, I'm alright.

wine aunt: Besides the fact that Hannibal is sending me recipe cards every week now.

graham cracker: @the imposter u are a fucking menace

the imposter: I thought you would be on my side, Will.

graham cracker: oh yeah

graham cracker - replying to wine aunt : sleep w one eye open bitch 🥱

wine aunt: I will not even dignify that with a response.

Bev: oh shit guys theres another note

zebra: DONT ADD THEM??

$$$: add them!

zebra: BABE?!?/?

graham cracker: just add them, how much worse can it get

Alana Bloom: I know its bad but...im kind of curious as well

the imposter: If it is an FBI agent, I was never here.

Bev: IM ADDING THEM LMFOAOO

Bev added +1(***) *** - **** to the group chat

Bev: hello new person! ur number was just on my desk so I added your number to this group chat full of innocent people 😁

graham cracker: why the fuck would u say it like that

Alana Bloom: 🤦‍♀️

+1(***) *** - ****: Uhh okay then, hey everyone

$$$: Hello 😊 what's your name?

+1(***) *** - ****: the names matthew

multiple people are typing...

Bev: YOURE FUCKING JOKING

zebra: oh god not another one

$$$: 🫢😳

wine aunt: I need a fucking drink .

graham cracker: of course it gets fucking worse

+1(***) *** - ****: what did I do??

+1(***) *** - ****: wait graham?? Is that you Will??

graham cracker: NO

Bev: YES

the imposter - replying to +1(***) *** - **** : I will find you.

Bev changed +1(***) *** - ****'s name to 'matthew'

graham cracker: NO HE IS NOT STAYING

matthew: Dont be like that baby 😏 You know you want me 😏🤭

wine aunt: I think I just threw up in my mouth.

zebra: you cant make this shit up

graham cracker: GET AWAY FROM ME 💀

the imposter - replying to matthew : Eject yourself from this group chat before I break out of my cell and kill you myself, you rotten slug.

matthew: omfg is that hannibal 💀💀 ugh you pick me bitch why are you EVERYWHERE

matthew: also those are bold words coming from a man called 'THE IMPOSTER'

the imposter: ?

Bev: omfg they are at each others NECKS 😭

graham cracker: I DONT WANT ANY PART OF THIS CAN WE PLEASE STONE MATTHEW???

matthew: Will bbygirl please dont be like this

matthew: actually...you know I love it when you play hard to get 😏❤️

graham cracker: EUAGGHHHH PLEASE STOP SOMEONE GET HIM OUT OF HERE 😭💀😭😭💀😭😭

Bev: IM FUCKIDN CRYING

zebra: BABYGIRL??

Alana Bloom: goodness me... 😳

wine aunt: Why do you even like Graham? He smells like a wet dog and he sweats constantly.

graham cracker: alright damn 💀

matthew - replying to wine aunt: Don't you ever speak about my cinnamon apple that way again bitch or you're gonna lose the rest of your limbs. Then all you can do is roll around like a fucking chicken nugget.

Bev: OH MY GOD??? 😭😭😭

wine aunt left the chat

zebra: I cannot handle being around so many mentally ill people at once

$$$: 🫢🫢

graham cracker: I AM NOT YOUR CINNAMON APPLE!!! 😡🖕🏼🖕🏼

matthew - replying to graham cracker : You're as sweet as one 😚 and dont even get me started on that tight little ass 🥰😫😮‍💨🥵🥵

Bev: IM LITERALYL GONNA THROW UP STOPPPSJS LMFAOOO

the imposter: That's it.

graham cracker: I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

Bev: HELP IM FUXKSNG DYIGN

Alana Bloom: Goodness gracious 😭😭

zebra: GOD DAMN 💀💀

zebra: you weren't joking about this guy will 😭😭😭

graham cracker: DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH

Jack Crawford added themself to the group chat

Jack Crawford: Why did Dr. Chilton just call me about Hannibal Lecter BREAKING OUT OF HIS CELL.

matthew: he what

graham cracker: WHAT

Bev: oh shit hes gonna kill matthew 😭😭😭

zebra: omfg I cant deal with this anymore

graham cracker: IM NOT GOING BACK TO PRISON

graham cracker left the group chat

Jack Crawford: YOU ALL BETTER FIND HANNIBAL LECTER BEFORE WE HAVE TO PUT THE ENTIRE STATE OF MARYLAND ON LOCKDOWN.

Bev: matthew drop your location so we can come get you 😭😭😭

matthew: for safety reasons I cannot do that

matthew: hannibal is still in the chat

zebra: okay but if you drop your location we could get to you at the same time as hannibal

zebra: hopefully

Alana Bloom: I cant believe this is happening 😭😭

matthew - replying to zebra : FUCK youre right

the imposter: Yes, reveal your location you slimy little rat.

Jack Crawford: Jesus Christ, I'm quitting my job after this.

matthew: FUCK

matthew: IM IN THE DENNYS OFF 8TH STREET

the imposter: I'm coming for you.

Bev: ZELLER PRICE GET THE FUCK OUT HERE IM IN MY FUCKING CAR

zebra: ohgodohgodohgod

$$$: coming!!!

Jack Crawford: Hannibal just stole and is  driving Dr. Chilton's red 1989 Geo Metro

Jack Crawford: License plate number is why the fuck does it not have numbers

Jack Crawford: License plate is: BAD BITCH

Bev: WHY THE FUCK DOES HE DRIVE SUCH A SHITTY CAR

Alana Bloom: His license plate on his GEO METRO is "Bad Bitch" ???? 😭😭😭

zebra: that is so fucking embarrassing omg 😭😭

Jack Crawford: ARE YOU TEXTING AND DRIVING KATZ?

$$$: well we're definitely getting there before dr lecter

$$$: not sure if thats a good thing though

matthew: no no no NO

matthew: THERES A RED GEO METRO WHIPPING IT INTO THE PARKING LOT

matthew: COME GET ME RIGHT NOW

zebra: HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET THERE SO FAST

zebra: HES DRIVING A SHITTY ASS CAR 💀💀

$$$: never underestimate the power of love 🤭🤭🥰

Bev: WE'RE HERE WE'RE HERE

zebra: OH SHIT LECTER JUST TOOK A CHUNK OUT OF MATTHEW

Alana Bloom: 😭😭😭😭

$$$: Im recording!

$$$: for evidence of course!

Jack Crawford: The FBI is a joke.

Jack Crawford: Fuck, Frieddie Lounds is definitely gonna hear about this.

Chapter Text

Bev added Will Graham and Bedelia to the group chat

Bev changed Bedelia's name to 'wine aunt'

Bev changed Will Graham's name to 'cinnamonapple'

cinnamonapple: why are you like this

wine aunt: Is he gone?

Bev: matthew?

wine aunt: Yes

Bev: nah hes still here but hes in the hospital so i dont think he can really text right now

wine aunt: I see.

wine aunt: And what about Hannibal?

Bev: they put his ass in solitary confinement again 😭😭

Bev: straight jacket and everything

cinnamonapple: why cant we remove matthew

cinnamonapple: hes gonna keep hitting on me 😭😭

Bev: thats why hes still here LMFAO

Alana Bloom: I cant believe Hannibal fought Matthew in a Dennys parking lot for u Will

cinnamonapple: he did that?

$$$: Yup! and he even used a geo metro to get there 🤭

cinnamonapple: oh

Bev: he took a fucking chunk out of Matthews ear and ate it too 😭😭

Alana Bloom: Oh god- raw??? 🤢

zebra: damn he said fast food

Bev: LMFAO

matthew: heyyy guysss

cinnamonapple: I thought you were in the hospital 😐

matthew: your feral ass ex bf bit my ear off

matthew: but I still have my hands bbygirl and we can put them to good use if you want 😏🤭

cinnamonapple: NO.

cinnamonapple: AND STOP CALLING ME BABYGIRL

cinnamonapple: its like you want hannibal to come beat your ass again 😭😭

Bev: this is the best thing ive ever seen

zebra: I cant believe two serial killers are fighting for graham 

$$$: A love triangle 🤭 how titillating 😳

Bev: @matthew why do you like Will so much anyways?? 

cinnamonapple: oh god why would you ask him that

matthew is typing...

matthew is typing...

matthew is typing...

matthew is typing...

Bev: ITS BEEN LIKE 10 MINUTES LMFAO

zebra: I have a feeling we're gonna regret this

matthew is typing...

cinnamonapple: im literally gonna be sick 

matthew is typing...

matthew: will is the smartest most beautiful little cutie ive ever laid my eyes on 😌 i knew it was love at first sight, he looked like an angry little kitten all high on antibiotics and angry at rhe world 🤭🤭😮💨 I JUST WANTED TO EAT HIM UP ON THE SPOT 😫 😫 even if he didnt commit those murders I knew there was something dark in him just waiting to be released 🤤 and I wanted to see just how messed up his cute little brain was 🤭🤭 ugh but I knew I had to wait for the right opportunity 😏😏 in the meantime I got to stare at his pert little ass in that prison uniform 🥵🥵😮💨😫  AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MUZZLING HIM EVERYDAY 🤭🥴🥴🥵  I finally got to talk to him when I disconnected the wires on the security cameras 🥹🥹 and it was life changing, he looked at me with those cute little puppy eyes and when he asked me to kill hannibal lecter?????? 😮💨😫😫 I COULD HAVE BUSTED RIGHT THERE 🥵🤤🤤 will bbygirl I know we're meant to be just give me one chance my fearsome hawk, we'll rule over this timid society together 💍💍❤️❤️❤️😘😍

Bev: LFMAOOO WHAT??:?:??

Bev: BUSTED?:?/? 💀💀😭😭

Bev: FEARSOME HAWK????

Alana Bloom: Im speechless

zebra: THIS IS NOT HEALTHY BEHAVIOR. 💀

Bedelia: These are the deranged thoughts of a madman.

$$$: goodness 😳

Bev: NOT THE MUZZLE 😭😭💀

cinnamonapple: i

cinnamonapple: i dont even know what to say to that

Jack Crawford : I'm...going to pretend I didn't see that.

Jack Crawford left the group chat

Bev: HE WAS STILL HERE?? HAHAHAHAH

cinnamonapple: FUCK AM I GOING BACK TO PRISON???:?:??

matthew: OH SHIT

zebra: 💀💀

Alana Bloom: I forgot he never left 🤦😭😭

$$$ - replying to cinnamonapple: I really dont think you have to worry about that anymore sweetie

cinnamonapple: THE HEAD OF THE BSU JUST SAW THAT I ATTEMPTED TO KILL HANNIBAL

zebra: bro ur forgetting Jack tried to do that too ur fine

matthew - replying to cinnamonapple : love you pookie bear 🫰🫰

Bev: THE FINGER HEART STOPPP LMFAO

cinnamonapple: 😭😭😭

Bedelia: For the first time in my life, I wish Hannibal were here.

cinnamonapple: fuck 😭 me too bitch

Private message to Hannibal Lecter

2:47am

Will Graham: hey hannibal

Will Graham: I know youre in solitary rn but thanks for beating up matthew or whatever

Will Graham: I know you wouldnt be caught dead driving a Geo Metro too so yeah

Will Graham:  thanks

3:56am

Will Graham: and

Will Graham: thanks for pulling me out of the water

Will Graham: I never thanked you for that

Will Graham: but this doesnt mean youre off the hook

Will Graham: im still so angry at you for a lot of things

Will Graham: anyways

Will Graham: text me back if you see this i guess

Chapter Text

Bev: alright which one of you fucks ate my taco bell in the fridge???

$$$: not me!

cinnamonapple: I do not work there anymore

zebra: Uhh I had one of those crunchwraps

matthew: damn that sounds good rn

Bev: BRUH.

zebra: WYDM BRUH THERE WAS SO MUCH TACO BELL IN THE FRIDGE

Bev: I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CRUNCHWRAP SUPREME THE MOST

Alana Bloom: How much taco bell was there?

zebra: istg there was over like 6 items

cinnamonapple: damn bitch 💀💀

Bev: STFU I LIKE TACO BELL

wine aunt: What could you possibly want from a Taco Bell?

Bev: well first i got the crunchwrap supreme but my fatass fucking coworker ATE IT

zebra: WELL DAMN 💀💀😭😭

cinnamonapple: LFMAOAOOA

$$$: security!

matthew: 💀

Bev: then I got the chalupa, nacho fries, gordita crunch, soft taco, cinnamon twists, and a baja blast freeze

wine aunt: What in the world.

cinnamonapple: DAMN BITCH 😭😭😭

zebra: DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN

Bev: GET OFF MY ASS!! I PAID FOR THAT WITH MY OWN MONEY!!!

wine aunt: That is...severely unhealthy.

wine aunt: I'm almost tempted to invite you over just so you can try real food.

Bev: wait really

wine aunt: Hm.

wine aunt: We'll see.

cinnamonapple: still have some leftover leg I see 🤔

zebra: BRO 😭

Alana Bloom: 😭😭

Bev: WILL STFU OR BEDELIA WONT INVITE ME OVER 😭😭💀💀

$$$: 🫢🫢🫢😭

matthew: you all are unhinged

matthew: I love it

cinnamonapple: I still dont like you

matthew: dw bbygirl, youll come around

cinnamonapple: no i certainly will not 💀

$$$: Is Dr Lecter out of solitary yet?

Bev: uhhhh

Bev: idk lemme check

Bev: @the imposter

zebra: its been 5 min try again

Bev: @the imposter

$$$: :(((((

Bev: damn hes still in time out

matthew: his bitchass better be in solitary 🙄

cinnamonapple: just wait till he gets out bitch 🖕🏼🖕🏼

zebra: can you please make up your mind on dr lecter

zebra: like do you want to fuck him or???

cinnamonapple: something about the enemy of your enemy being your friend

Bev: youre ridiculous 😭😭

cinnamonapple : stfu u ordered 7 items for yourself at taco bell 💀

Bev: YOURE JUST JEALOUS 🖕🏼

cinnamonapple: of heart disease?? yeah no

zebra: will I watched you eat wet dog food once you are not better than bev

wine aunt: He what.

matthew: He's resourceful 🥰

$$$: 🤢🤢🤢

cinnamonapple is typing...

cinnamonapple: i had encephalitis

zebra: WILL THAT WAS 4 YEARS AGO. 💀💀 YOUR ASS DID NOT HAVE ENCEPHALITIS BACK THEN 💀💀😭

cinnamonapple: stfu bitch or i might just have it again when i stand trial for your murder

Bev: oh lord dark!will is back

matthew: 🥴🥴🥵🥵🥵😫😫😳😳🥵🤤🤤🤤🤤💦💦💦

zebra : GO BACK TO PRISON WHERE U BELONG

wine aunt: I need a drink.

$$$: Please be careful 😭

Bev: girl youre always drinking 😭

zebra: so we're just gonna move on from will eating dog food

Alana Bloom: I'm just

Alana Bloom: not very surprised 😅

$$$: me too 😓

wine aunt: I wouldn't be surprised if he defecated in his own yard as well.

Bev: LMFOA

zebra: @cinnamonapple damn she kind of ate you up 😭😭

cinnamonapple: this family is a fucking nightmare

cinnamonapple: NOT YOU MATTHEW.

cinnamonapple: youre the weird kid at the park who wont leave me alone

matthew: bbygirl please 🥲❤️

Bev: is it bad that I miss dr lecter

Bev: i feel like he balances out matthews horniness

zebra: we are fbi agents

zebra: he is a cannibalistic serial killer

Bev: youre right

Bev: but still

wine aunt: I agree with Beverly.

Bev: sigh...

Bev: when is solitary gonna enddd

Private message to Will Graham

5:34am

Hannibal Lecter: Hello, Will.

Chapter Text

Bev: did you guys see?? 😭

Bev: the tattlecrime post abt dr lecter and matthew's fight finally dropped 😭😭

cinnamonapple: fuck I was hoping she wouldnt see that

zebra: bro shes all seeing, of course she found out abt it 💀

Alana Bloom: Oh god this is so bad for the FBI's publicity 🥲

Bev: "HANNIBAL THE CANNIBAL FIST FIGHTS NURSE IN THE PARKING LOT OF A DENNY'S"

matthew: why tf did they call me a nurse 😭

zebra: omfg @$$$

zebra: babe your video of the fight is on the blog 😭😭

Bev: and its the best fight video ive ever seen

Bev: how are your hands so stable???

$$$: I've waited my whole life to film a fight, I couldn't mess it up! 😤

cinnamonapple: LMFAOOO YOURE GETTING FLAMED IN THE COMMENTS MATTHEW AHHAHHA

matthew: bruh wtf 💀

matthew: how are they gonna support a literal cannibal over a nurse???

Bev: I mean you hella ate shit at 1:26 😭

cinnamonapple: LFMAOAOAO

Alana Bloom: Oh my god, he did 😭

matthew: IS THAT WHY I GOT A DM ON FACEBOOK CALLING ME "SHITTY BOY"

matthew: Im deleting all my social media

Bev: HAHAHAHAAHDH OMFG WHATT

zebra: bro facebook?? 💀

cinnamonapple: LMFAO SHITTYBOY 💀

matthew: i am the victim in this situation

cinnamonapple: no youre the guy who lost in a fight video theres a big difference

cinnamonapple: I bet $5 the video is on an acc called 'clipsthatgohard' on twitter rn

zebra: LMAOOO CLIPSTHATGOHARD

Bev is typing...

Bev: THERES A PHOTO OF DR LECTER GETTING OUT OF CHILTONS CAR AND THE LICENSE PLATE SO CLEARLY SAYS BAD BITCH

Alana Bloom: Oh no 😭😭

$$$: Why does it kind of work for him? 😳

zebra: babe pls stop supporting the literal serial killer

cinnamonapple: my stomamxh hurts psl

Jack Crawford added themself to the chat

Jack Crawford: Did you all see the article Lounds wrote.

Jack Crawford: The public is not happy with the FBI right now.

Bev: actually the public looks like theyre supporting hannibal 😭

Bev: have u seen the comments?? theyre so funny 😭😭

cinnamonapple: "omg that twink got destroyed LMAOOOO"

cinnamonapple: "OMFG THAT GUY ATE SHIT AT 1:26 AHAHAHAH"

cinnamonapple: yeah I think we're in the clear 💀

matthew: TWINK????

zebra: SOMEONE SAID "damn id let that dilf take a bite out of me too 😮‍💨🙏🏼 "

zebra: IT HAS 1.2K LIKES 😭😭

Jack Crawford: ...

Jack Crawford: We might have gotten lucky this time, but this cannot happen again.

Jack Crawford: ARE WE CLEAR?

Bev: yes sir

$$$: yes sir

zebra: yes sir

cinnamonapple: yes sir

Jack Crawford left the group chat

Alana Bloom - replying to cinnamonapple : Will why did you answer, you don't work for him anymore 😭

cinnamonapple: fuck it was completely reflexive

cinnamonapple: also he totally laughed when he watched the video

Bev: oh yeah for sure LMAO

zebra: okay but matthew got a couple good hits in ngl

matthew: thank you

cinnamonapple: nah you still got your ass whooped tho 💀

cinnamonapple: couldnt be me

Bev: Will

Bev: youd let your ass get whipped by dr lecter and like it

zebra: WOAHHHHHH

Alana Bloom: 😭😭

$$$: true!!

wine aunt: I did not need that image in my head.

cinnamonapple: BRO WTF??? 😭😭

cinnamonapple: DELETE THAT??

matthew: dr lecters in solitary bbygirl if you need someone to take his place ive got two working hands 😮‍💨😮‍💨🥴

cinnamonapple: NO.

cinnamonapple: GET 🤺 THE FUCK 🤺🤺BACK🤺

Bev: oh shit

Bev: the baltimore news website even wrote about it 😭

zebra: WHAT DID IT SAY???

Bev is typing...

Bev is typing...

Bev: "Hannibal Lecter, otherwise known as Hannibal the Cannibal, escaped his cell on Friday last week at 3:23pm. He was spotted stealing and driving Dr. Fredrick Chilton's red 1983 Geo Metro to Denny's where the altercation began. The mysterious 'nurse' in the video is actually 28 year old Matthew Brown, a former orderly at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Due to this information, there has been much speculation about the exact nature of the fight as well. Comment what you think down below and subscribe to our newsletter for the latest Baltimore news!"

zebra: bruh 💀💀

cinnamonapple: who tf wrote this page?? a fucking vlogger?? 💀

matthew: they were not paid enough for this

Alana Bloom: It seems like no one is taking the situation seriously thank god 😭

Bev: I think it has to do with the fact that Dr Lecter drove his ass back to prison after 💀

zebra: I cannot believe he broke out just to beat up matthew 💀

wine aunt: Hannibal does not take slights against Will Graham lightly.

zebra: ...

zebra: has this happened before????

cinnamonroll: we dont have to get into all that

wine aunt: Do you remember what he did to the judge during Will's trial when he wouldn't allow new evidence to be presented in court?

Alana Bloom: That was Hannibal?!

Bev: that shit was so brutal 😭😭

zebra: oh my god i completely forgot that happened

zebra: how tf did he even manage to do that 💀

zebra: he is one guy 😭

$$$: @cinnamonapple doesn't that mean Dr Lecter kind of got you out of prison??

cinnamonapple: ...

cinnamonapple: okay but he also put me there so I think it cancels out?? 😭

Bev: bro is so in denial

zebra: fr

$$$: fr

Alana Bloom: fr

cinnamonapple: im confused

cinnamonapple: DO YOU WANT ME TO BE WITH THE CANNIBALISTIC SERIAL KILLER OR NOT???

Bev: I mean I lowkey want dr lecter to find love

Bev: he was drawing fanart of you two in prison like bro is just lonely 😭💔💔

Bev: maybe if he got some of that grahamussy he wouldnt be killing people like this 😭😭🙏🏼

cinnamonapple: EXCUSE ME??:?/? GRAHAMUSSY?/????

zebra: Bev wtf 💀💀

wine aunt: How do you come up with these vile words .

matthew: damn id stop killing for the grahamussy too 😮‍💨🙏🏼

cinnamonapple: NO. THIS IS NOT BECOMING A THING.

cinnamonapple: AND NO MATTHEW STAY AWAY FROM ME 🤺🤺

Bev: damn if the grahamussy was all we needed to cure serial killers I wouldve been all for your relationship w dr lecter 😔✊🏼

cinnamonapple: ARE YOU HIGH RN??

cinnamonapple: STOP SAYING GRAHAMUSSY

cinnamonapple: IM LEAVING 😭😭😭

wine aunt: Yes, please leave. I no longer want to see that abhorrent word.

Private message to Hannibal Lecter

5:37am

Hannibal Lecter: Hello, Will.

11:56am

Will Graham: you're out of solitary already?

Hannibal Lecter: Yes, I believe it was because I turned myself back in and because Dr. Chilton isn't particularly happy with Matthew Brown. Unfortunately, my cell has been upgraded to keep me from escaping again.

Will Graham: I see

Will Graham: that's good then I guess

Hannibal Lecter: Hm.

Hannibal Lecter: I would like to talk about your messages from two nights ago, Will.

Will Graham: oh right

Will Graham: yeah okay

Hannibal Lecter: Starting with Matthew, he deserved more than what I gave to him. He's terribly persistent and honest about his...desire for you. It's distasteful.

Will Graham: ha yeah ig

Will Graham: its just a little annoying but he's relatively harmless

Will Graham: at least I think so

Hannibal Lecter: We'll see.

Hannibal Lecter: About pulling you out of the water. There is no need to thank me for that, Will. I believe that if time were to reverse, I would have done it all over again to save you. In no other universe would leaving you to drown be an option.

Hannibal Lecter: And, yes. I know you still harbor feelings of hatred for me for the things that I've done to you in the past, but believe me when I say that I am sorry, Will. If time were to truly reverse, all the way back to before I met you, there are many things I would have done differently. Our dear Abigail, she was my greatest mistake, Will. I am truly sorry for taking her away from you.

Will Graham: I...

Will Graham: Her death hurt me the most Hannibal

Will Graham: I think about her everyday

Will Graham: she's in my mind when I wake up, when I eat, when I sleep

Will Graham: I think about her every time I fucking breathe

Will Graham: she was even with me when I went to find you in Florence

Will Graham: what you did was cruel, you gave her to me and ripped her away all in the span of 10 minutes

Will Graham: but I know

Will Graham: I know you regret it but its still so hard for me to forgive you for that

Will Graham: I dont think I ever will

Hannibal Lecter: I know and that's okay, Will. But please, allow me to prove to you how truly sorry I am.

Will Graham: ...

Will Graham: How would you do that?

Hannibal Lecter: Give me one more chance to stand by your side, Will. Like it should have been since the beginning.

Will Graham: I

Will Graham: I need time to think

Will Graham: please

Hannibal Lecter: I understand.

Hannibal Lecter: I will wait for however long you need.

Will Graham: Thanks

Hannibal Lecter: Of course, Dear Will.

Chapter Text

Bev changed matthew's name to 'shittyboy'

Bev: gooooood morning yall 🙏🏼

Alana Bloom: Good morning Bev 😊

$$$: morning!

shittyboy: bruh 💀

zebra: LMAO

zebra: hey guyss

$$$: what's up Bev?

Bev: justttt wanted to know how my favorite people are doing 😚

cinnamonapple: ...

cinnamonapple: what did you do

$$$: 😰😰😨

zebra: oh god did you kill someone and become a serial killer too 😭

Bev: BRUH NO 😭😭💀

Bev: I just had a question

Alana Bloom: Oh okay 😅

Bev: so hypothetically speaking...

Alana Bloom: nevermind

zebra: oh god

cinnamonapple: damn youre going to jail 😭😭

Bev: YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN 😭

Bev: I just wanted to ask

Bev is typing...

Bev: gay son or thot daughter

cinnamonapple: istfg im leaving

zebra: BRO I THOUHT YOU KILLED SOMEONE 😭

Alana Bloom: 💀

wine aunt: This chat is utterly ridiculous.

shittyboy: damn I thought we'd get another killer, boring 😒

$$$: 🫥🫥

Bev: LMFAO SORRY ITS JUST BEEN 2 DAYS AND IM BORED AHAHHA

Bev : dont hate the player hate the game 😩

cinnamonapple: can you stop saying that when it doesnt apply to the context please 💀

the imposter - replying to Bev: What does this mean?

multiple people are typing...

Bev: YOURE BACK?!/?/?/

zebra: o shit hes alive

Alana Bloom: Of course that's the first thing he sees when he comes back 🤦‍♀️

shittyboy: ugh great 🙄

$$$: 😆😆🤭‼️

the imposter: Yes, hello again everyone. I've been released from solitary confinement.

Bev: thats still so funny to read

Bev: there's literally a criminal in the chat 😭😭

$$$: @cinnamonapple Dr Lecter is back!!!

cinnamonapple: oh my god crazyyy

zebra: wait did you already know???

cinnamonapple: NO

wine aunt: You're not fooling anyone, Will.

Bev: OMG YOU TOTALLY KNEW

the imposter: Yes, I let Will know as soon as I was released.

zebra: damn will and you didnt tell anyone?? kind of fake 🤨🤨

zebra: kind of sus 🤨

Bev: omg thats kind of cute

cinnamonapple: what??

cinnamonapple: also srry just forgot

zebra: you just tried to tell everyone you didnt know 😐

cinnamonapple: no i didnt

cinnamonapple deleted a message

Alana Bloom: Will, everyone saw that 😐

Bev: we're literally all online 😭

wine aunt: Why do you even try?

cinnamonapple: WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED RN

cinnamonapple: CAN WE JUST FOCUS ON HANNIBAL BEING BACK

cinnamonapple: PLEASE

Bev: youre a mess 😭

Bev: anyways so dr lecter how was....uh solitary

zebra: bruh 💀

Alana Bloom: Bev 😭😭

shittyboy: i hope it was miserable for you 🫰

the imposter: Actually, It was quite pleasant. I was able to take the time to explore and add to my mind palace as I saw fit.

Bev: mind palace?

Bev: what is that

the imposter is typing...

the imposter: The memory palace is a mnemonic technique that involves mentally placing information to be remembered in specific locations within an imagined physical space. For me, it is the Norman Chapel in Palermo and my family's castle. I can walk through through its halls to retrieve any information when needed or stay there temporarily.

Alana Bloom: I've heard of this before, but I didn't know it was actually possible to do

zebra: damn so the whole time you were in solitary you were actually chilling in Italy?? 😭😭

shittyboy: talk about pretentious 🙄

Bev: wtf?? I want to have a mind palace 😭

Bev: wait your family has a castle??:???

the imposter - replying to zebra: That is one way to think about it, yes.

the imposter: And yes, Ms. Katz. Castle Lecter has been in my family for generations.

zebra: castle lecter...

cinnamonapple: wait i didnt know this

cinnamonapple: are you royalty or something?????

the imposter: Not exactly, but my full title would be Count Hannibal Lecter VIII.

Bev: WHAT

zebra: THERES BEEN EIGHT OF YOU?? 😭

cinnamonapple: i

Alana Bloom: The eighth??? 😭

shittyboy: literally what

$$$: Does that mean you can ride a horse??? 😱

$$$: what do royals do? 🤔🤔

the imposter: Yes, I can ride a horse. I also briefly learned archery, ballroom dancing, social etiquette, hunting, instruments, and multiple languages.

cinnamonapple: thats

cinnamonapple: impressive

the imposter: Thank you, Dear Will.

shittyboy: @cinnamonapple okay but can he do a split and twerk on that dick?? i dont think so 🙄✋

Bev: MATTHEW.

zebra: BROOO 😭😭💀💀💀

cinnamonapple: i

$$$: 😳😨😰😰

Alana Bloom: Goodness me

wine aunt: Lord Jesus have mercy.

the imposter: I will learn to escape this cell and when I do, you will be nothing but a rusty smear on the pavement.

shittyboy: people hate the truth out here 🤷‍♂️

cinnamonapple: I implore you to control yourself

Bev: I feel sick omfg 😭😭

Beverly Katz created a group chat

Beverly Katz added Brian Zeller and Jimmy price to the group chat

Beverly Katz renamed the group chat to 'Operation: get Dr. Lecter that Grahamussy'

Beverly Katz: heyyyyy guyyssss

Jimmy Price: 😳😳😳

Brian Zeller: Bev you cant be serious 💀

Beverly Katz: OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT

Brian Zeller: HE IS A CANNIBALISTIC SERIAL KILLER

Beverly Katz: HES IN PRISON

Brian Zeller: WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM TOGETHER???

Beverly Katz: Because have you seen the way Will has been living??

$$$: 😞

Brian Zeller: ...

Brian Zeller: fine

Brian Zeller: explain

Beverly Katz: Yes!

Beverly Katz: Okay soooo

Beverly Katz is typing...

Beverly Katz is typing...

Beverly Katz: for a whole year since Will got discharged from the hospital he quit his job, he cut himself off from all his friends, and he barely leaves his house. its obvious hes been depressed since dr lecter went to prison and  dr lecter obviously still loves will right?? But it looks like will is still in denial/struggling w his feelings

Beverly Katz: and I think he hates himself BECAUSE he loves dr lecter and he's sad because he still misses him

Beverly Katz: like we all know he says that he was doing it for Jack but be lets fr, if Jack never told him to seduce dr lecter then I think they would have organically fell in love

Beverly Katz: and I want Will to be happy again or just actually live his life and I think if he sees that people are on his side, then he wouldn't be so hard on himself?? idk but u know what im trying to say

Beverly Katz: also dr lecter literally broke out of prison to fight for will's honor like???

Beverly Katz: yeah dr lecter is a serial killer or whatever but hes also the perfect partner and practically gift wrapped for Will

$$$: I know we're FBI agents, but we were Will's best friends first and I agree with Bev. I want to see him happy again, he's practically killing himself out there in the middle of the woods 😞😥

Brian Zeller: I

Brian Zeller: I dont know

Brian Zeller: So what are u suggesting? that will and dr lecter e-date or smth? you know thats not sustainable

Beverly Katz: I know, but if itll make Will happy I think we should still try!!

Brian Zeller is typing...

Brian Zeller: I dont think this is a good idea

Brian Zeller: and I can only see it ending badly for the both of them or just Will at least

Brian Zeller: I dont think theyll ever be satisfied with talking with each other through a phone

Brian Zeller: but im not going to stop you guys

Brian Zeller: and Im not completely heartless, I want will to be happy again too and if this is whatll do it then fine

Brian Zeller: but dont say I didnt warn you!!

Beverly Katz: YES!!

Beverly Katz: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!

$$$: 🥰🥰🥰😊☺️☺️❤️❤️

Brian Zeller: yeah yeah

Brian Zeller: so how do we do this?

Beverly Katz: we start by making a plan 😏

Chapter Text

Bev: @cinnamonapple I have a question for u

cinnamonapple: oh god what is it this time

cinnamonapple : and it better not be that gay son or thot daughter shit again 💀

Bev: its not I promise 😇

Bev: so u had encephalitis right 😃

cinnamonapple: yes bev 😐 I had encephalitis 😐

zebra: bruh 💀

Bev: right so answer if you wantttt

Bev: but whats the craziest thing youve

hallucinated 🫣

cinnamonapple : damn thats actually kind of a good question

cinnamonapple: ...

cinnamonapple: nvm I dont want to answer anymore

Bev: WHAT NO THAT MAKES ME WANNA KNOW EVEN MORE NOW

zebra: you have to tell us now 💀

$$$: Im actually very interested in knowing too 😳

Alana Bloom: Me too...

cinnamonapple: no thanks

cinnamonapple: its like bad 💀

Bev: PLEASEEEE TELL US

$$$: pleaseee 🥺🥺

zebra: ...

zebra: Ill venmo u $10 if u answer

cinnamonapple: ... make it $15

zebra: fine

zebra: just sent it

Bev: zellers out here doing gods work 🙏🏼🙏🏼

the imposter: Ah, what is your venmo, Will?

$$$: Ill send it to you dr lecter!!

the imposter: Thank you, Jimmy.

cinnamonapple: damn am i not gonna have a say in this or?? 💀

cinnamonapple: WHY TF DID I JUST GET A NOTIFICATION ABOUT $2000 BEING SENT TO ME???????

Bev: WHA

Bev: OH MY GOD??? 😳😳

Alana Bloom: My goodness 😳

$$$: 😳🤭🤭😳😳😳🥳🥳🍾

shittyboy: ugh suck up 😒

zebra: I- what-

the imposter: It is nothing, Will. I am in prison, so I have no need for saving as of late. Treat yourself to something nice.

cinnamonapple: I??:?:?/???!/!

Bev: oh

Bev: my

Bev: 🥰😍

Bev changed cinnamonapple's name to sugarbby

Bev changed the imposter's name to daddy

sugarbby: BRO 😭😭😭💀💀

$$$: wowww lucky you Will 😳😳

Alana Bloom: goodness 😳

daddy - replying to Bev: I'm assuming I have no say in this name change as well?

Bev: Nope 😇😇 srry dr lecter 🫶🫶

daddy: It's quite alright, Mrs. Katz.

sugarbby: I-

sugarbby: we WILL be talking abt this later Hannibal

daddy: If you insist.

zebra: ...

zebra:@sugarbby so whatd u hallucinate 🤨🤨 I paid $15 for this remember 💀

sugarbby: oh right

sugarbby is typing...

sugarbby is typing...

sugarbby: it mightve been 4am and I heard something outside my house, like music, but not creepy music, and I realized that it sounded like a mix between trap queen by fettywap and hotline bling 💀💀 but it was all distorted so I was fucking freaking out and i ran outside to turn it off??? or something?? idk it made sense at the time 😭😭 but then the music started coming from the forest and of course i started walking my dumbass self to the forest in just a tshirt and boxers 💀💀

Bev: bruh what 😭😭

zebra: that sounds fucking terrifying

Alana Bloom: This is not what I was expecting

$$$: hotline bling and fettywap?? 😨

sugarbby: so im in this dark ass wet ass forest, high off of a fever and guess what i see

sugarbby: i guarantee you will not get it right

Bev: uhhh was it dr lecter

$$$: a two headed dog?

Alana Bloom: Yourself?

shittyboy: me? 😏😳

sugarbby: ew no

sugarbby: it was Garett Jacob Hobbs

daddy: .

Bev: WHAT

zebra: HOBBS??? THE GUY YOU SHOT A BUNCH OF TIMES????

$$$: 😨😨😰

Alana Bloom: Oh my god 😭

sugarbby: and guess what

sugarbby: he was fucking doing the nae nae

Bev: LFMAO WHAT????/

Alana Bloom: Excuse me? 😭

zebra: THE DANCE FROM VINE???

sugarbby: YEAH 💀💀

sugarbby: so I watched Garett Jacob Hobbs do the nae nae to a hotline bling fetty wap remix in the forest until the sun came up and when he was done, he fucking whispered "see?", raised his hands into the air, and disappeared into a ray of light 💀

Bev: LFMAOAOAO

zebra: UHM WHAT?? 😭😭💀

shittyboy: what the fuck

daddy: That is...definitely a hallucination.

wine aunt: What does that even mean? Why would you hallucinate that?

sugarbby: IDK?? I didnt choose to see that 😭😭

Bev: so then what happened after???????

sugarbby: Idk I just remember waking up on the roof 💀

Bev: bro

Bev: wtf was that encephalitis doing to you 😭😭

wine aunt: That is...highly concerning.

zebra: why didnt you go to the hospital sooner???

sugarbby: because SOMEONE manipulated me into believing it was a mental illness 😒😒

daddy: Well

daddy: If I had known you were hallucinating Garett Jacob Hobbs doing the 'nae nae' dance, perhaps I would have sent you to the doctor's sooner.

sugarbby: BRUH 💀

Bev: this family is a nightmare 🫠

Operation: get Dr. Lecter that Grahamussy

Beverly Katz: guys

Beverly Katz: dr lecter literally just became wills sugar daddy

Beverly Katz: do we even need a fucking plan at this point 😭😭

Jimmy Price: I have to admit, that was very bold 😳😳😳

Brian Zeller: well if Will wasnt in love w him before, he definitely is now

Private message to Hannibal Lecter

Will Graham: Hannibal

Will Graham: you sent me $2000

Hannibal Lecter: Yes, I did.

Will Graham: why??? 😭

Will Graham: thats so much money and I didnt even do anything??? I cant accept it

Hannibal Lecter: You can because I want you too. That money was nothing to me, Will. Believe me when I say it was barely anything to blink an eye at.

Hannibal Lecter: Like I said before, I'm in prison and I have no need for saving money. I'd much rather have you spend it on nice things for yourself.

Will Graham: Thats insane

Will Graham: I dont know what to say

Will Graham: I mean, Thanks

Hannibal Lecter: Of course, Will. It also benefits me as well to see you treating yourself.

Will Graham: If you say so

Will Graham: Seriously, thank you

Hannibal Lecter: You're welcome.

Chapter Text

Bev: Hey you guyssss take this quiz!!

Bev: The 5 Love Languageshttps://5lovelanguages.com › quizzesThe Love Language® Quiz

Bev: I wanna see your answers 😇😇

Alana Bloom: oooh how fun! taking it now ☺️

zebra: I got quality time

$$$: me too!! 😚😚🥰❤️

zebra: ❤️

$$$: wbu bev?

Bev: oh yeah LOL

Bev: I got words of affirmation 😌

$$$: Ooooh!! I definitely noticed that 😊😊

shittyboy: @sugarbby I got physical touch 😏 come thru bbygirl 😜🤭

sugarbby: NO. 🖕🏼🖕🏼 LEAVE ME ALONE

Bev: LMFAO

Bev: wellllll what did u get will? 😙

sugarbby: ...

sugarbby: I got acts of service

daddy: How delightful, my love language is gift giving.

shittyboy: of course it is 😒🙄

Bev: wowww 😳😳 its almost like you two are made for each other...

$$$: how crazy! 😊😊

sugarbby: uh...yeah... 🤨

daddy: Thank you, Beverly.

Alana Bloom: I got words of affirmation too Bev! 🤭

Bev: oh em gee TWINS!!! 😝

Bev: @wine aunt did you take the quiz?

wine aunt: Hm

wine aunt: I got acts of service as well

sugarbby: oh my god its like youre obsessed with me 🙄🖕🏼🖕🏼

wine aunt: I assure you I am as far away from that as I could possibly be.

sugarbby: good, keep it that way bitch 😤

$$$: oop, security!!

Alana Bloom: @Bev What made you want to do the test? Im curious 😊

Bev: uhhhhhh

Operation: get Dr. Lecter that Grahamussy

Beverly Katz: QUICK WTF DO I SAY

Brian Zeller: omfg 😭😭💀

Jimmy Price: Uhm!!!

Jimmy Price: Oh say you've just been into online quizzes!! like buzzfeed or something!!!

Beverly Katz: thank you bae!! 🫶🫶🫶

Bev: ohhh ive just been into online quizzes lately 😇

Bev: yknow? like buzzfeed quizzes!

Alana Bloom: Oh I see! I get that phase sometimes too

sugarbby: 🤨

daddy: I admit, it was quite fun to take that quiz and see everyone's answers.

$$$: Haha right?? 🤭🤭

sugarbby: ...

sugarbby: why are yall acting weird today

Bev: What???? we're not!

$$$: Idk what youre talking about 😊

zebra: who's acting weird?? not us

sugarbby: I wasnt even talking to you zeller 💀😐

zebra: uhhhhh

daddy - replying to sugarbby : Will, I noticed that you use the word 'y'all' a lot, as opposed to saying "you guys" like Ms. Katz or Zeller.

daddy: I'm curious as to why.

Bev: omg? me too!

zebra: huh I didnt notice that

Alana Bloom: Now that you mention it...

sugarbby: uhhhhh

sugarbby: I didnt even realize I was doing that

sugarbby: ig its because I grew up kind of deep in the south

daddy: I see.

daddy: Although, I would think that if you grew up in the south, you would have an accent.

sugarbby: I do have an accent

sugarbby: I mean I did, but I got rid of it in college

Bev: WHAT????

Bev: YOU HAD AN ACCENT???

$$$: awww no!! why would u get rid of it? 🥺

shittyboy: you

shittyboy: had a country accent??

shittyboy: 😳😳🥵🥵🥵🥵🫣🫣🤭😍😍💦💦💦💦

Alana Bloom: Will with a country accent is something I didn't know I wanted to hear 😳

sugarbby - replying to $$$ : got rid of it because people didn't take me seriously in college

sugarbby: they thought it made me sound uneducated, like a "southern hick" they said 😒

sugarbby: life was a lot easier after getting rid of the accent

daddy: That is disheartening to hear. I'm sorry, Will.

$$$: oh my gosh 🥺😭😭

zebra: thats fucked up

Bev: who do I need to fight? 🤨🤨😡😤

Alana Bloom: That sounds awful 😭

sugarbby: Its fine

sugarbby: its not like its completely gone

sugarbby: its easy to slip back into, especially if i hear it again or i get caught up in whatever im doing

Bev: ...

Bev: I wanna hear your accent...

$$$: 😳😳

$$$: me too...

shittyboy: me three 😏🥵🥵💦🤭🥴🥴

sugarbby: yall are ridiculous

sugarbby: I mean... @zebra I might do it for the right price 🤷🤷

zebra: I already gave you $15 you gold digger 💀

sugarbby: 🖕🏼 fine then 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

daddy: I think you're forgetting someone, Will.

sugarbby: oh fuck

Bev: LMFAOOAOOAOAO 

Alana Bloom: oh my goodness

$$$: 😳😳😳

sugarbby: OH FUCK????

Bev: WHAT

Bev: HOW MUCH WAS IT???/?/??/

daddy: I assure you that it was nothing excessive, Ms. Katz.

sugarbby: not excessive....not excessive he says

sugarbby: sorry yall I think Hannibal is gonna be the only one hearing my accent today 🤷

Bev: yknow what

Bev: im not even mad at that

$$$: oooh meow~ 😍

Alana Bloom: Yeah, I'm fine with that 🫣😳

shittyboy: uh hello Im not

shittyboy: hello??

shittyboy: ugh lecter ruins everything 😒

Operation: get Dr. Lecter that Grahamussy

Beverly Katz: guys.

Beverly Katz: WE'RE IN 🥳🍾🍾🎊🍻🍻🍻👏🏼👏🏼🎊🎊🍻🎈🎈👏🏼🍻🎊🎊

Jimmy Price: that couldn't have gone any better!!! 🥳🥳🥳🤭🤭🤭🥰

Brian Zeller: I cant believe that shit worked

Brian Zeller: I mean dr lecter kind of took it in the end but that was...whew

Beverly Katz: its only a matter of time...

Jimmy Price: its only a matter of time!!! 😳😳😳🤭🤭🤭

Will sat up in bed and stared at the notification on his phone, flustered as his heart pounded away in his chest. Hannibal just sent him eight thousand dollars to hear his accent.

Distantly, he wondered if this is what it was like to have an OnlyFans account.

Will licked his lips nervously and opened up the doctor's profile. The man just sent him an obscene amount of money, the least he could do was have Hannibal hear it in real time.

Will hesitated for a second, and then jammed his thumb on the call button.

The phone began to ring.

His heart was racing extremely fast now, he honestly thought he might have a heart attack. So, Will swung his legs over the side of the bed and bounced one of them to release some of his nervous energy. He bit his lip, the phone had been ringing for a while now.

Finally, right before the call could end, Hannibal picked up.

Will gasped and suddenly it felt like he couldn't speak at all.

There was a pause.

"Hello, Will," Hannibal said. His voice floated through the speakers like velvet and his familiar, decadent accent undid some of the tension in Will's shoulders.

"H-hey, Hannibal," Will whispered in shock.

"It's good to hear your voice again. How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good," Will said shakily, then cleared his throat and continued, "You just sent me eight thousand dollars."