Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I keep yawning in my desk as our professor announced that our class is dismiss. Yamot na yamot nako kanina pa kasi ang boring talaga magturo ng prof namin plus boring rin ang subject niya. Grabe, halos wala akong energy ngayon sa sobrang pagod at puyat kagabi. Inayos ko kasi ang ibibigay ko kay Sunghoon mylove mamaya dahil may laro sila. Gumawa lang naman ako ng letters/ motivational and love letters para sakanya tapos nilagay ko to sa jar na DIY ko rin ang design, aesthetic dahil sa kulay na baby blue at pink.

Inayos ko na ang mga gamit ko saka nagsimulang maglakad ng patamad dahil nakakatamad naman talaga maging istudyante. Medyo nagulat ako ng may umakbay saakin, nilingon ko naman ito at nakita ko si Jungwon.

"Gaga ka, nagulat pa ako akala ko kung sino" sabay rolled eyes sakanya. Jungwon is my childhood and my best friend since elementary, ang rason kung bakit kami naging magkaibigan dahil sa isang away, naiinis siya saakin noon dahil sobrang cute ko daw at palagi ako ang pinapansin ng crush niyang si Jay noon na ngayon ay jowa niya na. Akalain mo nga naman

"Sorry na mhie, alam mo na, namiss kita" madrama niyang sabi, gaga talaga.

"Magkapitbahay lang classroom natin?? Ang sabihin mo busy ka sa jowa mo"

"hehehe sorry na, kaya sasabay ako sayo mag lunch eh. May class rin kasi si bebe" malungkot na malungkot niyang saad. Aba loka loka pala to eh kung wala pang ginagawa si jay wala siyang balak na samahan ako?

Sabay na kaming pumunta ng canteen dahil bukod sa purgang purga na tiyan namin sa mcdo at jollibee, wala na akong pera. Kailangan ko magtipid at pagkasyahin ang 200 until Saturday, Wednesday palang ngayon shet.

Pagkarating namin ng canteen ay punuan agad ang mga stalls ng mga High school students. Nagkatinginan kami ni jungwon bago napagdesisyunan na sa labas nalang kumain.

Habang papunta kami sa main gate, sumalubong samin ang mga nagkakagulong reporters and journalist ng school namin habang sinusundan si honeybunch sunghoon.

He was walking with full of elegance, his aura screams how much attractive he is and he knew it. With his simple jeans and white top pairing with a color dirty brown polo, it's enough to make him shine at mangibabaw ang kapogian niya. Nakakainis, nakakainis kasi simpleng paglakad palang niya nakukuha niya ng patigilin ang mundo ko.

I am a college scholar here at our university, and I first met him in my 1st year here. Naging seatmate kami and promise, I try all the methods of communication to him but he is so introvert. Naalala ko nun' pag kinakausap ko siya isang word lang talaga ang madalas niyang sagot sakin, "Ok" o di kiya "ahh" pero kahit ganyan siya naging crush ko parin siya. Doon ako nag start kulitin siya, I also tried confessing to him not just once but thrice but I got rejected sa lahat ng yan. Now is my 4th attempt, I also don't know kasi kahit ilang beses niya akong I reject, siya parin talaga ang gusto ko.

Pagkatuntong namin ng 2nd year, nakilala siya na player sa University dahil sa galing niya mag basketball noon sa department week namin. Dahil doon, nasundan pa ng Iba't ibanv event ang nasalihan niya, which help his reputation in playing basketball grew inside the campus until outside completions which is now the reason bakit sikat na sikat siya not just in our school but also outside. Eversince then, bihira na kami magkita dahil aside sa palaging may training, madalas lahat ng classes niya ay online class.

But as isang makulit na guardian angel niya, hindi ko siyempre hinayaan na maging dahilan yun para hindi ako maka damoves sakanya. Every time I get a chance palagi akong may inaabot sakanya. I'm always present sa mga laro niya at palagi rin present ang tarpaulin and banner ko sakanya. Pag vacant ko at nasakto na may training sila, palagi doon ang tambay ko. Sabihin na nating nahihibang ako, but this feeling of just want to take care and make him happy, napakasap sa pakiramdam. Ok lang naman sakin na walang kapalit lahat ng effort ko, but there's a little light in my heart na umaasa na sana kahit papaano na aappreciate niya yung ginagawa ko.

Napansin ko namang papalapit siya sa pwesto namin, marahil ay papunta siguro siya sa gym para i-meet ang team members niya. Agad ko namang naaalala yung iaabot ko sakanya na pinagpuyatan ko. I wave my hands a little para igreet siya, he did not respond but he is eye-ing me and yung hawak kong garapon, enough for me to give me strength na i-approach siya.

"uh, hi! aabot ko lang sayo to hehe, goodluck sa training!" Agad naman siyang napahinto sa paglalakad, pati narin ang mga sumusunod niya dahil sa biglang pakikiusap ko sakanya. Tinignan niya ako at napa buntong hininga siya bago tanggapin ang bigay ko. Hindi na nagulat ang mga ibang istudyante na nakapaligid samin dahil kilala ako as his bug, palaging kinukulit si sunghoon.

"thanks" maikli niyang sagot bago ako lagpasan habang hawak hawak ang ginawa kong mga letters sakanya. Napangiti ako ng malawak at tagumpay because it's another successful attempt. Habang sila ay palayo na sa paningin ko, nilingon ko si jungwon na ngayon ay nag roroll eyes sakin.

"beh, you look so ewan talaga pag meron yang si sunghoon. Actually hindi ko alam bakit ka nauulol sakanya eh andami daming gwapong lalake dito sa campus nagkakagusto sayo" he said habang naka cross arms siya. I just smiled at him at hinila na para makakain na kami.

"Kaya naman pala gumawa ni Lord ng ganyan kapogi, bat di niya nalang dinamihan para hindi lang ako sakanya nauulol" sabay tawa ko at nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad.

************

Another tiring day ang natapos, and when I tell you tiring, talagang nakakapagod. Andaming learning task and projects ang kailangan namin habulin, plus dumagdag pa ang paskuhan ng University namin which is sure ako na mapapagod nanaman ako dahil part ako ng council, and we are in charge of preparing for that one, of course with the help of other organizations of different departments.

I sigh nalang sa pagod at medyo nagmamadali akong lumabas ng campus because magbyabyahe pako pauwi saamin which is 30 minutes in total ang byahe. I couldn't say goodbye to jungwon dahil andun nanaman ang malandi sa kanyang jowa.

Upon heading outside the campus, I saw sunghoon also walking palabas ng main gate. Napangiti ako at napagdesisyunan na sundin siya because why not, I'm head over heels for him.

Naabutan ko siyang nakatayo sa may main gate habang bitbit-bitbit ang inabot ko sakanya kanina. Suddenly nawala ang pagod ko, I can't helped but to smile, shet yung puso ko grabe ang kaba.

Naisipan ko siyang lapitan pero bago pako makahakbang mula sa kinatatayuan ko, my world stops dahil sa ginawa niya.

He threw my jar of letters sa basurahan..

He threw it and look around as if he was a crime suspect looking if someone sees what he did, and I saw him with my pair eyes. As he looks around he stopped when he sees me shock was all over his face.

I don't know what to feel, the thought that he was appreciating my works and everything for him yun pala tinatapon niya lang. I've been giving him a lot, and just what I've said earlier I was not expecting something in return but I hope he appreciates it, and become an inspiration to him. I am contented supporting him even thou I know in myself that I don't stood a chance in his world.

Hindi ko namalayan na may luhang tumulo sa pisngi ko. I was hurt of course, but this kind of pain is too much and I don't know what to feel. Disappointed? Angry? I don't what to describe this feeling but one thing for sure, this is very painful as hell.

He recovers from shock and call me

"sunoo...."

I slowly turn my back at him saka dere-deretsong sumakay sa tricycle na hindi ko naman pinara. Nakita kong nagulat si manong pero bago pa siya magtanong ay inunahan ko na to magsalita.

"Paradahan po ng bus, 100. Tara na po manong pakidali po may hinahabol kasi ako" mangiyangiyak kong sabi kay manong. Napansin niya atang malungkot ako kaya pinaandar niya naman agad ang sasakyan. Naririnig ko parin ang pagtawag ni sunghoon saakin pero hindi ko na nagawang lumingon.

Pakyu ka sunghoon, napa-capacity pako ng trycle wala na akong baon bukas!

Chapter Text

Sunghoon's pov

I was a freshman when my family decided to stay here in the Philippines. I was very sad and disappointed as I was enjoying my life in Canada for how many years. I met a lot of friends back then and the sudden moving out of the country is not in my mind. With this, I suddenly forgot how to interact with people as I also didn't understand Filipino back then. I am not fluent as my mother only teached me the basics. 

1st year college, I don't know how to approach everyone, not until this boy named Sunoo came into the frame. He was so talkative and I'm still not used to his presence and the environment. He kept chatting and bubbling beside me even though I answered him with very short words. Days went by, I became immune to his talkative mouth and just began accepting that there will be a person who is as noisy as him in my life from now on. 

Foundation day of our University happened, that was the day I discovered that I am good at playing basketball, and that was the day Sunoo made his 1st attempt in confessing to me his feelings. At that time, I don't know what exactly 'love' or 'like' was supposed to feel like, I don't have any idea but I know in myself I adored him very much. Without getting any second thought, I rejected him. When I rejected him he looked so very sad and disappointed but still smiled at me. I don't know, at that time it kind of saddened me and I don't know why. 

2nd year college, he was my seatmate again, I thought he will began to avoid me as he will probably started to feel awkward and hurt but to my surprise, he keeps bugging and telling me that he likes me, and everytime I want to reject him again, he will always cut it off and said 

"Hayaan mong magustuhan kita at maparamdam ko sayo gaano kita kagusto at halaga sakin" 

I looked at him concerned that he might get hurt himself in the future as that was not my intention to him. I tried to stop me but he's so stubborn to the point that my mind always hears his voice talking and talking about his life and random chikas about his friends and relatives. He tried confessing again to me and for the 2nd time, I rejected him again.

Sunoo is just very stubborn and still doesn't want to stop, and so because of that, I began to avoid him as much as possible in a lowkey way as I don't want to super hurt his feelings. As I kept myself away from him, my reputation as a player grew and grew until I joined different competitions inside and outside of the campus, which helped me to become the captain of my team right now. 

I thought sunoo would stop bugging me and let me go, but the thought of that makes me feel something weird that I can't explain, but I ignored it and continued avoiding him. Sunoo was built differently, he still bugs me and still doesn't give up. He started going to my games, training and interviews. He was there for almost everything I went to and it kind of made my conscience kill me and made me start to feel sad about him.

3rd year, as my reputation bloomed, I began to accept my fate and became careful of my actions as I am considered as one of the faces and role models in our University. I began to receive different calls from different companies and schools that wanted me on their team, but I declined them all as I am very happy in my current University and institution right now. 

Many girls wanted to date me but I rejected them all as I want to live in a peaceful and stress-free environment. Many have tried but Sunoo is still in his tracks, trying to win my heart. I began to feel annoyed with him because why can't he stop when I already told him there's no chance. Even the students in my University knew him as my shadow, someone who bugs me everyday. 

Another morning when I went to my University as our team was starting to train again for another competition. I thought my day would go smoothly, but as soon as I stepped down in my car, a lot of journalists from our University and reporters outside the campus were already there. University's marshall tried to help and protect me away from them, until I saw Sunoo staring at me full of adoration.

I mentally sigh as I see there's something in his arms, and for my prediction, it's another gift from him to me. 

"uh, hi! aabot ko lang sayo to hehe, goodluck sa training!" He said with a smile. I looked at him as I noticed how cute his lips and dimples were. I sigh as this makes me feel bad again. Because of my conscience, I just said "thanks" and started to walk away again.

********

"This is fcking nuts!! Why can't everyone cooperate and participate today" I shouted at my team who are now standing in front of me using their hands to wipe their sweats. We are unable to complete the routine as I observe that a lot of my players are not in their State of mind and not complete. 

"Capt. Nag pm daw sayo si jayrenz–"

"I already saw it, but I need you guys to understand that our competition is on next week agad. We need to be prepared as our opponents are very strong"

I feel irritated and mad until my phone rangs. I walked towards my bag and got it, I saw that it was my father who was calling. I gritted my teeth before answering the call.

"Business partner's daughter wants to meet you. I will reserve a dinner for you and her at your grandma's restaurant. Come prepared and don't you dare to sneak out again" I didn't get the chance to answer him and he ended the call already.

Bullshit.

******

I ended my day stressed and frustrated. My body aches, especially my arms. I was mad the whole day and no one can approach me as they sense how angry I am today. I continue walking outside the campus and remembering why my bag is so heavy. As I reached the main gate, I saw the gift sunoo gave me. I started to feel annoyed for unknown reasons, maybe because today is too much that I decided to throw away this thing.

I sensed that someone was staring at me so I started to look around and to my shock, I saw sunoo standing behind me with a shocked and sad face. We stared for like 30 seconds before I noticed tears coming down from his eyes.

"Sunoo.."

He started to turn his back to me and started to walk towards a tricycle. There's something inside me that wanted to take his hands and say sorry as I cannot bear to see him very sad and hurt. It's like something is also stabbing my chest causing pain. I started to chase him as I called his name loudly, enough for the people around us to hear me. I don't know, but right now I don't care about them and just want to talk and say sorry to sunoo. 

I saw him getting inside the tricycle and made my way fast towards him. I was disappointed when the driver started the tricycle and started to go. I didn't get the chance to chase him and I sigh in disappointment.

This is really not my day. This is making me frustrated fuck this.

*********

It's Saturday today, I was supposedly at my apartment today sleeping with my bed but I still go to our University as I am still hoping that I will see sunoo and can talk to him. Thursday and Friday, I didn't see any sunoo around the campus. I tried asking his friend, jungwon but he always answered me "Che! Neknek mo" and will start to walk away. 

I know that it was my fault and any reason is not valid as sunoo is just a victim of my frustration feeling that day. I started to question my day, how dumb am I to do that. These past few days my body and mind is finding the presence of bubbly sunoo. It's like the campus is now at peace but this kind of peace is not a good feeling. 

There's no sunoo who will greet and say hi to me everytime I go to University. No more gifts, no more cheering and shouting of my name every training, no more talkative companion, no more sunshine to lighten my day. Thinking of how I hurt sunoo makes my heart ache and sad, to the point that I can't explain how painful and sad these feelings are. My day is not complete without him, I can't focus every time I remember him. I'm very curious how he is doing right now, if he has already eaten, is he okay? These questions make me wandered and want me to go to his place so I can finally breathe at peace but the thing is, I don't know where he lives. 

These past few days also made me realise that for almost a year denying how much I like him, I ignored these feelings and still believe that I don't want him in my life. Maybe that's why I don't like setting myself up for dates, maybe that's why I feel sad and hurt wherever he confessed to me and I will reject him, maybe that's why I always adore and see how beautiful he is everytime I see him. This realisation just makes me want to see him more and hug him. As of now, I'm still waiting for the day when he is ready to face me, and I promise to myself that I will get him back whatever happens.

*******

Sunoo's pov

Sabado ngayon at nandito ako sa bahay , nakahiga dahil wala akong baon. Tuwing naaalala ko yung nangyari ay naiinis lang ako, nawalan na nga ako ng baon nasaktan pa ako ng bonggang-bongga. Kung bakit pa kasi ako nauulol diyan kay sunghoon, jusko maganda naman ako ah madami ngang nag kaka-crush sakin sa campus eh pwe.

Dahil sa nangyari, hindi ako pumasok ng ilang araw. Punyeta bukod kasi sa wala akong baon, hindi ko alam paano ko haharapin si sunghoon. Kilala ko kasi sarili ko eh, once na makita ko lang pogi niyang mukha ay talaga naman, makakalimutan ko lahat ng ginawa niya at mag iimagine nalang na kinakasal kami. Oo alam kong delusyunada ako at wala akong pake.

Nakaramdam ako ng gutom, kaya naman bunuksan ko ang delata na pinamili ko lang last week. Buti nalang at kaibigan ko si jungwon dahil kahapon bumisita siya saakin dahil concern daw siya sakin, may dala dalang bucket ng jollibee. Siyempre malungkot parin ako sa nangyari, habang nag kwekwento sakanya iyak iyak pako. Na badmood siya kay sunghoon at balak pang sumugod sa campus that time kung saan nagprapractice sila sunghoon pero pinigilan ko, alam ko kasing totohanin niya talaga yon.

Unang subo ko sa pagkain ko ay naalala ko nanaman ang pait ng kahapon. Naks

"Shuta bat umiiyak nanaman ako.." ng malasahan ko ang tulo ng luha ko habang sumusubo. Padabog kong binaba ang kutsara at tinidor ko saka pumunta sa kama at kinuha ang unan. Nilagay ko ito sa mukha ko saka sumigaw

"AHHHH!!!! PUNYETA KA SUNGHOON PUNYETA KA PUNYETA KA!!!!" 

********

Nandito ako ngayon sa classroom, nag aayos ng gamit. Wednesday ngayon at kakatapos ng klase namin ngayong umaga. Pagkaayos ko ay tumulala muna ako saglit dahil iniisip ko kung mag lulunch paba ako o hindi na. Shet kasi si jungwon di ako masasamahan dahil may project siyang kailangan tapusin. Ayaw ko naman lumabas ngayon dahil bukod sa wala akong kasama, baka makita ko kasi si S word.

Nagulat nalang ako ng may kumalabit saakin, paglingon ko nakita ko si Heeseung na may dalang bulaklak habang nakangiti saakin. Ngumiti ako ng awkward kase eto nanaman tayo.

Si heeseung ka member ni S word, nag start nung monday ng mamigay siya ng bulaklak saakin. Pati ako nagulat ako sa biglaang damoves niya saakin. After niya akong bigyan ng bulaklak bigla itong tumigil sa pagbibigay kaya akala ko pinagtrtripan niya ako. 

"Hi! Sorry kung nagulat kita pero eto, flowers for you" nakangiting sabi niya saakin. Pogi rin tong sj Heeseung eh bakit hindi nalang ako sakanya na fall at hindi kay—

Asan ulit nakalagay ang lip balm ko? Alam ko nasa bulsa ko lang yun eh.

"Uy ikaw pala yan, nako nako ano nanaman tong pakulo mo. Jusko kung balak moko pag tripan no, hindi ako papayag" I said to him saka pinalo ang braso niya. Antigas ng biceps shet pero feel ko mas matigas parin kay—

Oo nga pala san ako mag lulunch.

"Huh? Who told you that trip trip lang to? I actually like you since the day I saw you here sunoo. Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob umamin sayo dahil napansin kong hindi mo na kinukulit si sunghoon. Nagtaka ako nung una but then I realized baka napagod kana. Wala eh, para kang anino ni sunghoon noon, kung nasaan siya nandun karin, I respect your feelings kaya I tried to keep it to myself. But then these past few days, everytime he tried to approach you palagi kang umaalis. Ni hindi mo makuhang mag Hi sakanya, wala karin sa laro namin nung tuesday para suportahan siya. Lahat ata ng paraan para malapitan ka niya ginawa na niya, pero ikaw grabe ang pag didistansya mo sa sarili mo sakanya. I don't want to ask if there's something wrong because it's not my job para manghimasok sa buhay mo, but then it hits me. Maybe if I have the courage now, maybe I can stood a chance and it will not be too late to me. I like you sunoo, I like you because of who you are." He said while kinakamot niya ang kanyang batok. I was overwhelmed but at the same time na touched ako sa sinabi niya. He appreciates me, he appreciates me more than myself. 

"Hala teka bat ka umiiyak ok ka lang?" Natatarantang saad niya saakin habang may kung ano siyang kinakapa sa bulsa niya, ng makapa niya ang kanyang panyo ay inabot niya ito saakin.

Instead of grabbing sa panyo, I go to him and hugged him. Maybe I am too denial to myself that it's not painful and try to ignore it as if walang nangyari pero etong sinabi ni ethan, made me realised that I am still human, nakakaramdam ng lungkot at sakit. Napuno siguro ako kasi ilang araw kong kinikimkim tong sakit na nararamdaman ko. I made myself believe that I am ok, that I am more than ok, pero hindi eh, hindi pala. I'm just trying to make myself a fool. Grabe ang sakit sakit sakit pala talaga.

Niyakap ko si heeseung at naramdaman kong nagulat siya, but in a second naramdaman kong niyakap niya ako pabalik at hinimas himas ang likod ko.

"Shhhh… I don't know if I did something wrong, say something wrong or offensive but I just want you to know that I'm here. It's ok sunoo shhh" malumanay niyang sabi saakin. I just kept on crying like a baby in his arms. I don't know anymore ang sakit sakit, I just want to cry and cry hanggang maubusan ako ng luha. 

We are in the middle of being sentimental when a bang on the door attracts our attention. Kumalas ako sa yakap at lumingon doon, and I saw him… 

I saw sunghoon staring at us with a blank face. 

"Sunoo, we need to talk now." He said while looking at heeseung with a deadly eyes. I was very confused anong ginagawa niya dito? I also saw confusion in heeseung's eyes but when he sense something is different, nakipag-

pinantayan niya ng tingin si sunghoon. He also look at sunghoon with a serious and deadly eyes.

Wadapak is happening???

Chapter Text

Sunoo's pov

Hindi ko mapigilang ngumuya ng ngumuya hanggang maubos ko agad tong kinakain ko. Napatingin naman ako sa kasama kong kumakain ngayon. Isang katahimikan ang namayani saming dalawa. Well, inaantay ko lang naman siyang magsalita kasi hindi ko rin naman alam paano mag initiate mag tanong. Actually, sa kapal ng mukha ko, bat biglang nawala lahat ng confidence ko sa sarili ko. Kanina pa ako nangangating magtanong pero ang awkward lang, pero isa ang masisigurado ko, naguguluhan parin ako sa nangyayari.

Kanina kasi, pagkatapos sabihin ni sunghoon yun ay bigla niyang hinila ang kamay ko papaalis doon. Siyempre sa sobrang gulat tyaka slight kilig, hindi ako nakapag salita at nakapag tanong, basta ang attention ko kanina hanggang makarating dito sa jollibee ay ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa kamay ko. Sana nilayuan manlang ng jollibee branch nila dito sa University namin, ambilis tuloy nawala yung holding hands namin ni Sungh—

Sarap ng chickenjoy nila, dabest.

Bakit ang landi landi ko Lord hindi ko na kinakaya, hindi ko to gusto.

Hindi ko namamalayan na nakatitig na pala ako kay sunghoon na ngayon ay napatigil sa pagkain niya at nagsalita. 

"I know you have a lot of questions, but you need to eat first before we discuss everything." he said seriously as he looked into my eyes. Shet I'm not your strongest soldier please po, yung titig niya nakakatunaw, nababading nanaman ako oo. Tumango nalang ako as my response kasi my hand and heart cannot take this interaction. 

Sinunod ko ang gusto niya, at ng matapos na kaming kumain ay tumungo ako kase di ko alam paano ko ba i-eeye contact. He was supposed to say something when my phone rang. 

"I love you sunghoon, dabest ka talaga ikaw lang sapat na–"  

Agad kong sinagot ang tawag dahil sa ringtone ko. PAKSHET ANONG NAKAIN KO AT GINAWA KONG RINGTONE ANG VOICE RECORD NA TO. 

Nakita ko naman ang pagkagulat sa mukha niya pero napalitan rin ng ngisi. Nakakahiya, ayaw ko na siya makita gusto ko na umalis dito. Agad agad kong sinagot ang tawag, rider pala ito may parcel daw ako. Sinabi ko naman na iwan niya nalang sa may gate yung parcel ko dahil bayad naman na yun. Pagkababa ng tawag ni kuya ay hindi ko muna binaba ang phone ko kasi una, hindi ko alam paano ko haharapin si sunghoon, pangalawa nahihiya ako, at pangatlo NAHIHIYA AKO! YES ALL CAPS.

“That's a weird ringtone, you are really something sunoo” and with just that crush ko na ulit siya. Ok, ang rupok ko, eh ano naman

 Lord yung pagkakasabi niya ng pangalan ko, please lang napaka– ewan mababaliw na ata ako. 

“Eh ano naman sayo, bakit ikaw lang ba sunghoon dito sa mundo. Masyado ka naman assumero” I said bago pinagtaasan siya ng kilay. Akala niya huh, assumera pala to eh. 

Pero siya talaga yun siyempre.

“Well, I am not, but I am the only Sunghoon you know and have a so-called crush which I believe is pang high school lang yun” He said while munching his lasagna. 

Tangina talaga oo, siyempre kinikilig ako. I started to feel something in my stomach. The effect he is giving to my whole system makes me think how much I like this person. I don't know what I see in him that makes me like him so much to the point that I am willing to do anything just to be with him. It's been a year since I came up with a conclusion that this is only a happy crush pero habang nagtatagal, I know in myself that it is not just a simple happy crush. I just woke up one day realizing I like him. 

“Che, daming eme, ano ba kasi at bigla bigla ka nalang nanghihila sa classroom kanina. Kita mong may sweet moment kami ni heeseung doon ang epal mo” I said to him saka sinamaan siya ng tingin. He looked at me with a disbelief expression written on his face.

“Seriously sunoo? I thought I am the only Man you like, bakit parang luging lugi kapa na nilayo kita kay Heeseung? Is he more handsome than me?” He said habang ang noo niya ay nakakunot na ngayon. 

“Oo, pano pag sinabi kong oo mas pogi siya sayo? May magagawa kaba?” matapang na sagot ko naman sakanya. Akala niya ha, may atraso pa ata to saken men, akala niya rurupok agad ako sakanya pwes, konting push pa sunghoon huhuh.

“What the fuck sunoo? Please tell me you are just joking” and now he stops eating and all his attention is on me while expressing his serious face. Ay shet bat ampogi?? 

“Daming ebas eh alam mo naman kasi na nagbibiro lang ako. Hahabulin ba kita ng for almost 5 years kung napopogian ako sakanya? Eh kahit ata pakainin ako ng sampung bilyong sili ikaw at ikaw parin pipiliin ko” casual na sagot ko sakanya, at lahat yun ay totoo. Sasagot pa sana siya ng pinangunahan ko agad siya magsalita.

“At kung sa tingin mo ay mag coconfess ulit ako ngayon, pwes di ka nagkakamali pero last ko na to. Sa loob ng ilan taon, ilang beses narin ako nagconfess sayo, to the point na parang ang casual nalang nito saakin. I still like you sunghoon, just like a ray of sunlight, your presence still gives me a lot of love. Hindi naman nawala yun, kahit na ipagtabuyan mo ako noon, wala eh ikaw parin. Alam mo ba, ang sakit sakit nung nakita ko na tinapon mo yung pinagpuyatan kong gift. Hindi ko rin sinasabi ito because I want your empathy saakin, I said this because napapagod nako. For about many years, I let you become my world, my everything but after that incident, I realized that I should not settle for that kind of treatment. I know my worth Sunghoon” mapait akong ngumiti sakanya. I have my standards, pero dahil sa pagka gusto ko sakanya, I let down all of that para lang makita niya ako sa buhay niya, pero ang hirap rin pala. Ang hirap pag pinipili mong maging tanga at pagpilitan ang sarili mo sa taong wala naman pake sayo.

“It's ok to not respond kasi alam ko na sasabihin, ‘I am sorry sunoo kasi ganito gabyan’, and swear it's ok. Na immune nako sayo sunghoon. I just want to let it all out lahat ng nararamdaman ko sayo because–” I was in the middle of my speech when suddenly he cut me off.

“At kailan kapa nag start na pangunahan ako sa isasagot ko sayo? You want to hear why I brag about you here with me? I admit, I get jealous of Heeseung. I heard he hasike you also for how many years and when I heard that he took chance earlier because of you avoiding me, jealousy eats me” He pause and started to hold my hand na nakapatong ngayon sa lamesa.

“Those 5 years that I've been with you I keep denying my feelings for you sunoo. I'm just scared and a lot of what ifs keep lingering in my mind. When that incident happened, I realized how much I like you sunoo. Yes, you heard it right I like you sunoo. Not a crush because that's only for highschool for god sake. I am able to feel a lot of things with you. I hate to admit it but you're annoyingly beautiful in my life.” with a genuine tone, I feel very shocked and overwhelmed because this is so sudden. I don't know what to react, what to say because I'm still processing that he likes me too.

Sunghoon just like me back what the hell.

“Uh–wait–serious ba to like hindi to prank or what?? Iiyak ako sige ka” I dramatically said at pinaypayan ang sarili ko. Bat parang uminit dito sa jollibee, mahina ba ac nila.

“Baby, If I need to pinch your cheeks, or maybe kiss you to make you believe that this is all true, I am willingly doing it. After all, I like you to the moon and back” and chuckled as he was looking at me full of adoration. 

“Maka baby ka naman, akala mo kinikikig ako? Ulitin mo nga” I said to him saka nag puppy eyes at pout. He just laughed at my silliness which makes me pout more. Bakit seryoso ako doon eh, huhuhu.

“I thought your reaction would be something like you will scream and kiss me because of shock but you and your silliness really stood up huh?” he said and I can feel his hands holding mine tight more. 

“To be honest, I was very shock. This was not in my bingo card this year as I think that you will reject me again. I promise to myself that I will stop liking you when I confess to you now and reject me. Sunghoon, you've been the person I like so much to the point that I was so scared that I don't deserve to be your partner”

He look at me with full of sincerity and pureness before he speak to me.

“Sunoo, you are more than deserving to be mine. You are Sunoo, my light, my Savior to my darkest hours and days, my bug, my everything. Stop degrading yourself because yourself is enough to complete me. I love everything about you Sunoo, I Love everything about you”  

Shuta, gusto ko umiyak, kakainis kaka iyak ko lang kanina tapos ngayon naiiyak nanaman ako. I am very soft hearted to the point that words are enough to make me feel sentimental and crying. I am very lucky that this guy is the one I like.

“Baka pag naging tayo, mapagod ka magbigay ng ganyab sakin na assurance. Warningan lang kita ha, baka kasi di ka sanay eh napaka OA ko pa namang tao. I am very sensitive and emphatic kaya please, kung di kaya panindigan itigil na natin to” and my tears are now flowing in my cheeks.

Pinunasan niya ang luha ko before answering me. 

“It's cute that you see us getting together, bur to answer your question, no, I will not get tired of reminding you of your worth and giving you assurance. You deserve to be loved and to be taken care of. Sunoo, I am willingly give you everything just to be with you until the end of the world, after all you are my favourite fortuity and serendipity happened in my life” he said gently to me. 

I compose myself at tumahan naman ako ilang segundo. I looked at him who is now staring at me full of love and adoration. I smiled at him, a pure smile because I want to express how much he makes me feel happy just by saying those words to me.

“Sunghoon, I started this feeling to you because I admire you, until it grew further and I am grateful that it happened. You are  my predestination that I will forever be keeping. I know you know and heard this sentence for how many years but I want to repeat myself to say how much I like you, ikaw at ikaw parin ang pipiliin ko”  

And the next thing that happened is the thing that I am not expecting him to do. He stood up in his chair and suddenly back hugged me. I was so shocked but what makes me feel the bolt is his breath all over my neck, I can feel it so much. His strong manly perfume are now in my memory as it is now entangled to my nose.

“You don't know how much you make me happy everytime sunoo, I promise that starting today, I will be now yours and yours only. I like you sunoo, even if it takes years for you to be yours, I will still be at your side supporting and taking care of you” halos pabulong na sabi niya saakin. Napahawak naman ako sa kanyang kamay na ngayon ay nakayakap sa may leeg ko.

Ha akala ko ba kami na, don't tell me gusto niya pa ako ligawan?

“And yes, I want to formally court you sunoo because you deserve it”

“Ha? Need paba? Kahit ngayon palang sagutin na kita on the spot eh, pakasalan pa kita” I bluntly said to him. I can feel him chuckled and it somehow makes me feel ticklish

“You silly” he said at napanguso nalang ako.

I guess this is how our story ends, me and him in each other's arms. Jusko, kung anong kinapokpok ko yun rin kinarupok ko sakanya