Chapter Text
She hadn’t been looking for it. The opposite actually. As she had told Aaron, she hadn’t wanted a relationship.
She had wanted sex.
She had wanted to feel like a woman, feel desired. But she hadn’t wanted to feel loved. Or rather she hadn’t needed to feel loved.
No when it came to love she was lucky. Since the day she was born, unconditional love had been showered all over her. Despite the somewhat prickly relationship she had with her mother, she had no doubt she was loved by her. She was loved by her father too, he may be quieter in his love for her than his wife but it was no less strong, she was still his princess at the age of 50.
Her kids adored her, she knew that, respected her too and were proud of her.
And Michael? He was her best friend and while he didn’t love her in the way she had thought he had when he had put that ring on her ringer all those years ago, it was still love.
She had good friends like Hen and colleagues that respected her, even if they were a little afraid of her.
So she hadn’t gone looking for it. Had not even expected it. Or considered it. Until she was standing in the parking lot about to get back in her patrol car and he had stood there, in front of her, more nervous than she can remember ever seeing him, albeit calmer than he had seemed sitting on the pavement a couple hours earlier.
“Thanks for coming with me,” he had said moments before as they walked out the building towards their cars.
“You’re welcome,” she smiled at him, “It was, uh, actually good for me too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Not quite my kind of church, but peaceful, y’know?”
“I do.”
She had turned to move towards her car when he’d called her back.
“It would be good to do it again some time,” he had said, his hands restlessly twisting in front of him.
She’d been confused, was he trying to convert her to Catholicism because, no way was that happening.
“Praying?”
He’d laughed and she immediately felt relieved that she had misunderstood.
“Talking,” he said with a shrug, shyly.
“I’d like that,” she replied, equally as shy and somewhat surprised at herself for her words. She wasn’t sure where they had come from but as she spoke them she realised she meant it. She had enjoyed talking to Bobby. She always did. But today had felt different, something had shifted.
“Maybe over dinner?” he had asked, somewhat awkwardly, like he was trying to act nonchalant and knew he was failing miserably.
“You talking about a secret firehouse club meeting?” she quipped with a raised eyebrow, trying to break his tension.
He rolled his eyes at her, “I was thinking more like that new Italian Hen is always going on about?”
“So no uniform?”
“No uniform.”
She nodded, a smile slowly coming to her face and she watched as it was mirrored back to her in his.
Making a decision, she brought her phone out to look at her calendar, “How about Thursday? Hen had invited me to game night at Chimney’s so I’m presuming….”
“It’s a date,” Bobby interrupted.
She smiled again. So did he.
She hadn’t been looking for it. But it was there.
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He hadn’t necessarily been looking for it. Wendall had encouraged him to date, have some fun. Nothing too heavy, or too serious. Casual.
He’d agreed because he knew Wendall knew what he was talking about and he really did have to find himself stuff to do that didn’t involve paperwork for the firehouse, working out at the firehouse, cooking at the firehouse, hanging out with his colleagues from the firehouse…
So he’d completed a dating profile. Felt like an idiot while doing so but did it anyway, although if that website was going to bring him a date like Tatiana he wasn’t sure he wanted it.
And then he sat there on the pavement, overwhelmed at what he had just witnessed, had let go of that infamous Captain Nash control and looked up and saw a friend.
He wasn’t sure when Athena Grant had become a friend, certainly not the first time they met. Although he had certainly been taken aback by her. She was stunning, it was hard to ignore, and she was almost certainly the most attractive woman he’d ever seen in a first responder’s uniform. He hadn’t thought much more of it. Not then. He was hardly in a good place. But she’d brought a smile to his face the second time he had met her, light shining in his eyes, and they’d worked well together as they’d worked out the restaurant owner’s secret.
They always worked well together. Mutual respect was formed after that case, Maurice forgotten or at least forgiven. He valued her professionalism, her judgement, her skill and knowledge.
When she called him to tell him that Buck had saved her ass from being shot and that he was an asset to his team, he listened. Decided to give Buck a second chance on that alone. He’d been looking for an excuse anyway, and she gave it, but if it had been anyone else would he have listened?
They’d hung out socially, being the same age they normally gravitated towards each other while the younger ones got lit. He also knew she was married and felt for her when Hen had told him she and Michael were having problems. Had welcomed her with hugs and food when she had visited the firehouse.
But had he ever really seen her?
He didn’t think so, because as she laid her hand on his arm asking him what she could do to help him, he felt like he was seeing her for the first time. Perhaps he was. She too had shared a part of herself he had never seen before. The woman behind the uniform. Not just the dear and trusted colleague but a real person. Who took her uniform off at the end of the day and went through a whole box of tissues after a bad shift.
The thought hadn’t fully formed before he was asking her to go somewhere with him and he was choked at the way she immediately nodded, no questions asked. She trusted him too.
After they had completed what they needed to do at the scene, he had dropped a pin at his church and met her at the door.
He normally felt peaceful when he walked in, but there was an edge of something that tasted almost like anticipation as he led her to a pew.
As they talked and prayed he realised he liked it. He liked sitting next to her, talking about their jobs, their lives. It had an ease, a trust, a camaraderie that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Ever in fact if he was honest. And he didn’t want it to end.
“Thanks for coming with me,” he had blurted as they left the building some time later. Wanting to extend the moment but struggling to find a good enough reason to keep her there with him. He’d already taken up most of her day.
“You’re welcome,” she had replied with a smile that turned his insides upside down, “It was, uh, actually good for me too.”
“Yeah?” he felt unnecessarily pleased at that remark and wanted to hit himself upside the head that he was literally getting giddy because he’d, in a small way, made her day better. He was pathetic.
“Yeah. Not quite my kind of church, but peaceful, y’know?”
“I do.” And he did, it’s why he went there four times a week, why he wanted to go there today and why he wanted to share it with her. Maybe she’d find it helpful, more helpful than the box of tissues waiting for her at home.
She moved towards her car and he frantically tried to think of something else to say. Something else to extend the moment.
“It would be good to do it again some time,” he could kick himself for his cheesy one liner as a look of puzzlement came over her.
“Praying?”
He laughed at the thought that he was trying to set her up for conversion.
“Talking,” he managed to say and he was amazed that she actually looked shy.
“I’d like that,” she replied.
It was now or never, “Maybe over dinner?” he rushed out.
“You talking about a secret firehouse club meeting?”
He smirked, the quip settling him somewhat, “I was thinking more like that new Italian Hen is always going on about?”
“So no uniform?”
“No uniform.”
She nodded, and he smiled as he watched her smile too.
“How about Thursday? Hen had invited me to game night at Chimney’s so I’m presuming….”
“It’s a date,” he interrupted her before she changed her mind.
She smiled at him and he felt something he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
He hadn’t been looking for it but if he didn’t know better, there it was. Right in front of him.