Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 “Great. Fantastic. Absolutely awesome. Mustard just got spilled onto my last clean sweater.” RJ muttered to themselves, observing the watery-yet-also-disgustingly-clumpy yellow liquid soaking into the fabric of their striped green sweater. It was a real shame too, because it was probably going to stain and it was one of RJ’s favourites.

 They sighed angrily and looked up, searching for whoever had bumped into them, which had caused them to drop the hot dog they were carrying for Steven on their sweater. Whoever had done this was going to pay dearly, for although they were generally passive, RJ was not often merciful.

 After a few minutes of searching with a sharp eye, RJ reluctantly admitted to themselves that whoever had bumped into them was probably long gone, most likely fleeing because of RJ’s inevitable wrath. They trudged back to the table that the rest of the gang was at, and sat down, handing Steven his now practically mustard-less hot dog.

 Before any of them even had a chance to ask, RJ simply said “Someone bumped into me.” and started to eat the sandwich that Steven had brought to school for them with a stormy look on their face.

 “Did you kill ‘em?” Johnny asked earnestly, while Steven grabbed some napkins from his lunchbox to give to RJ so they could wipe off their sweater.

 Ollie rolled his eyes a bit at Johnny’s comment, before he looked back to RJ and told them “I don’t think that any of us have any spare hoodies right now, but we could probably wash it off a bit at the water fountains. A dry napkin doesn’t do much compared to actually washing something off, ya'know?”

 RJ smiled at their friends’ concern, and said “Sure, yeah, you’re right Ollie. I’m gonna go to the water fountains. Be right back.”

 They quickly got up and darted out of the cafeteria, eager to get to the fountains. They absentmindedly folded the napkins over in their hands as they wandered through the basically deserted halls. It was understandably quiet, as it was lunchtime, and RJ was very thankful for that. After all, they weren’t very presentable, what with the yellow condiment noticeably staining their sweater. Not that anyone would comment on it anyways, since not a lot of people tried messing with RJ ever since they joined the gang, but they didn’t really want to take any chances.

 RJ finally caught sight of the fountains at the end of the hallway, and hurried over to them. They wet the napkins and began dabbing at the stain, something Ollie had taught them. Apparently, dabbing was much better than just wiping haphazardly when your’e trying to get out stains. RJ didn’t really understand the exact science behind it, but it was kind of working for them so far, so they really didn’t question it much.

 Four napkins and a lot of dabbing later, RJ couldn’t remember a time when they had loathed something as much as the nasty condiment that resembled yellow-paint and smelled like a swamp and a defective herb pantry went on a date. It was somehow still staining their sweater. All of the liquid and chunks were painstakingly dabbed into oblivion with the napkins, but there was still a big yellowish stain left. It didn’t really seem like anything that RJ could do at the moment could get it out, and because of all the wet napkins that they had used, their sweater was now damp and kind of cold. At the very least, their sweater was cleaner, but RJ now had the problem of being uncomfortable and chilly. Also, it still had the insistently horrible stench of mustard on it.

 They sighed in disgust and threw the dirtied napkins in the garbage cans nearby. It seemed as if they were going to just have to brave the day with their nastily mustard-ish sweater on. It was either that, or just take off their sweater for the rest of the day. There was no way RJ was doing that. Without their sweater shielding them from view, everyone would look at them. They would feel eyes from every direction piercing into them, judging them, sneering at them. Even just the thought of it made RJ feel sick. Nope. No way were they going around unshielded from everyone’s sight.

 They turned and observed the hall, trying to stall going back into public view for a few minutes. They thought about just going to their house and staying there for the day, but ultimately decided against it. RJ reluctantly started back on their way to the cafeteria, scuffing their sneakers on the floor and trying not to think too much about their (probably ruined) sweater.

"Oh, hey RJ! What are you doing out here?"

 RJ jumped in surprise, as the hallway had been completely barren of anyone just moments before. They whipped around to confront who had spoken, and found themselves face to face with Cody Jones.

 It took a moment for RJ to realize that Cody was waiting for an answer to his question, and their a response was just a shrug. RJ wasn’t very keen on chatting it up with a lot of people who weren’t from the gang, after all.

 He seemed to accept RJ’s answer, but his eyes seemed to be drawn to the stained patch on RJ’s sweater.

 “Woah, what happened to your sweater?”

 RJ didn’t really know how to answer that without talking, so they just shrugged again. Cody raised his eyebrow at RJ’s response, and it was then that RJ realized that they weren’t really in the best position at the moment if Cody were to decide that he was feeling up to a fight today. They were all alone at the moment, and, although they could hold their own against ordinary people, Cody wasn’t really just an ‘ordinary person’, even if he seemed like it. As evidenced from gym class, Cody was almost unrivalled in terms of physical prowess. It was one of the reasons why Johnny really didn’t like him. ‘Seems all nice and stuff, but could punch you out really easily. He’s really deceiving, you gotta always be on your guard around that guy.’, as Johnny had once said.

 In the back of their mind, RJ knew that they were being kind of ridiculous, because Cody had never actually physically fought anyone, and he was overall really friendly and nice, but RJ was just constantly on their guard. They had to be ready for anything that anyone could throw their way.

 Well, they were ready for everything that Cody could’ve thrown their way, until he took off his hoodie and literally threw it their way. Luckily, thanks to their reflexes, RJ caught it with only a bit of fumbling. They looked back up to Cody, confused as to why he would give them his hoodie. After all, RJ was pretty sure that no matter how friendly Cody was, he would hold some sort of resentment for the local bully gang, as many of the other kids did.

 Cody caught their questioning look, but only gave them a sunny smile and a thumbs up before briskly walking away.

 RJ stood there for a moment, completely confused as to what had just happened, before realizing that the clean hoodie in their hands was a much better alternative to their gross one. After making sure that the coast was clear, they shed their sweater and exchanged it for Cody’s dark blue one. They quickly flipped up the hood on it, and remarked that it was a little bit too big on them, but decided not to pay attention to it.

 RJ walked back to the cafeteria and decided that the next time they saw Cody, they would thank him.

Chapter Text

“Hey, where’s Cody going?”

Collin knew that tone of voice. That was the tone of voice that Suzy got when she started to get suspicious, or when her self-dubbed ‘blackmail sense’ started to act up.

Collin could literally feel the headache that was coming.

“Suzy, you can’t just out someone for leaving the cafeteria. That’s kind of ridiculous, even for you.”

“Oh, but Collin! Right after RJ theirself left the cafeteria in a condimental crisis? I don’t think so!”

Collin groaned and slapped his hands over his face. He already knew he was fighting a losing battle, since whenever Suzy got that glint in her eyes, it meant she was dead set on whatever it was that caught her fancy. Dimitri chuckled a bit at his misfortune (earning him a glare) before chiming into the conversation.

“He probably only needed to go to the bathroom, Suzy. I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you.”

She remained unconvinced, though, and stared vigilantly at the cafeteria doors, phone in hand and already on the camera app.

A couple of minutes passed uneventfully, and Collin was sure that by now he could persuade her to give it up. Just as he opened his mouth, though, in through the cafeteria doors burst a breathless, beaming, and sweater-less Cody Jones.

Suzy practically went ballistic taking photos, and Collin groaned again while Dimitri half-heartedly tried to convince Suzy that it was probably just a big coincidence that Cody was sans-sweater. Meanwhile, Cody jogged his way over to Jeff and picked up his backpack, eagerly waving his friends along to class.

“Say, Cody, why’d you run off in such a hurry like that?” Lisa asked, trying to keep up with his brisk pace as they walked out the other doors of the cafeteria.

Cody broke into a smile that light up his whole face, and giggled a bit at her question “Oh, I just had to take care of a little something!”

She rolled her eyes and huffed “Okay there, Mr. Sun, you’re going to have to tone it down about a million watts. Whatever your ‘little something’ was sure made you happy, though.” but immediately after, she broke into a little smile of her own. (mostly caused by Cody’s confusion at the ‘Mr, Sun’ nickname.)

Collin, who had watched the interaction from his table, was getting a little bit more nervous now. Suzy, who Dimitri had somehow managed to calm down/distract her enough with soothing words such as ‘I bet he really just dropped it in the toilet’ and ‘Hey, I saw Max running away with Ed and Isabel just a couple minutes ago!’, was reluctantly looking through her new photos of Cody and pouting at the ‘Waste of Resources’.

Until, two minutes later, RJ walked back into the cafeteria.

Wearing Cody Jones’ very own, unmistakably navy blue sweater.

The only thing stopping Suzy from going absolutely rabid was the possibility of RJ throwing her out of the window.

“Max, do you know just how narrowly you avoided death just now? Do you really, actually understand? Because right now you should be praising the gods that I saved your butt from being absolutely annihilated, you know."

Max just glanced at Isabel, who was still pulling him by the arm from the cafeteria, and tried to shake his arm again from her death grip.

“Isabel, relax. All I did was bump into them! Sure, they spilled mustard onto theirself, but it’s not a that big of deal.”

She stopped, suddenly, and spun him around to face her abruptly fast. He raised his eyebrows when her face was uncharacteristically serious, and his eyebrows raised even higher when he realized Ed’s face mirrored Isabel’s stony one.

“Max, do you want to know what happened to the last kid that pissed off RJ?"

“Actually, what I want to do is go back to eating my nutritious lunch of Pringles and preserved yams, but I have a feeling that that’s not going to happen, so I’m just going to ask and get it over with. What happened to the kid that pissed RJ off?"

“We don’t know, Max! We never saw her again! She switched schools to Mayview Private School! All the way on the other hill! Do you know how far away that is?”

“Approximately twenty minutes as the scooter rolls?”

“This is seeeeeeerious, Max,” Ed drawled as he curled his hands menacingly in the air, imitating claws “They could punch you so hard that your organs would turn inside-out, while still in your body! Rumour has it that they don’t even need to actually punch you, either. I’ve heard that they’ve got a black belt in Judo. You can’t get a black belt in Judo until you’re sixteen, Maximoomoo.” Ed then darted his claw hands forward to clench in Max’s hoodie, and pulled him closer “This is veeeery serious Max.”

“Yeah, right, Ed.” Max scoffed as he scooted his way out of Ed’s grip. “That honestly sounds as credible as a spirit coming in right now claiming to be my long lost uncle from Lithuania that got spiritified in a vague plot to end the world, and then telling me that I’m the only one that can save it with my metal powers and ability to draw hotheaded jerks towards me like a magnet.”

“That was a little specific.” Isabel whispered to Ed, before Max continued on with his little rant.

“Honestly, if you told me that about Steven or Ollie or something, I probably would’ve believed you. But RJ? They barely scratch four foot seven! They’re the least intimidating of the entire gang, to be honest.”

Isabel and Ed looked at each other for a moment, and then back at Max. Ed took in a deep breath, and then asked a single question.

“Max, do you know how RJ got into Johnny’s gang?”

“Well, no, but-“

“RJ literally punched Johnny in the face and initiated a fight with him, and they almost won. The only reason why RJ lost was because Johnny had a little more stamina. Or was it that Johnny was a little stronger? Eh, I’m not sure, but the effect is still the same. Johnny was so impressed by them, though, that he adopted them into his gang, and ever since then they stuck with him.”

Max raised his eyebrows again, and opened his mouth to shoot back some skeptic and sarcastic reply, before Isabel cut in.

“I have video evidence, dude! The entire fight's on my phone, come watch it!”

By the time that they had finished watching the video, Max looked like he was about to vomit his lunch of Pringles and preserved yams onto the floor.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD. That was BRUTAL. Oh my god. Call Dr. Zarei, please, I have just contracted a fatal case of ‘I need to get as far away from Mayview as possible because a tiny green lizard kid is going to fricking suplex me into the lake with the wrath of a million angry armadillos’. Oh god.”

Needless to say, Max avoided the hooded hoodlum for as long as he possibly could.