Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Odd had earned himself a new reputation.

The former Casanova wannabe was now the wildest party animal in the whole school. Whether that made him fun and exciting or obnoxious and shallow depended on who you ask.

Even when he wasn’t actually invited to a party, he managed to find out about it and show up anyway. Especially if there was going to be alcohol there.

Truthfully, Odd couldn’t stand to be alone.

Sure, he was a massive extrovert and going too long without social interaction left him feeling lethargic, but he had always been able to be alone, at least for a while. He’d always been able to find some way to occupy himself.

But ever since Lyoko, things were just… different.

The lights seemed to make Odd's pounding headache even worse. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around, momentarily wondering where he was. Somehow, the fact that he was in his own bed made him even more confused.

“Are you finally awake?” came Ulrich's voice, much too loud and distorted.

Odd could only groan in response.

“It's almost lunch time already,” Ulrich said.

Odd wasn't sure if he was even up to eating right now, but maybe it would be good for him to try. He slowly managed to maneuver himself into a sitting position.

“Why am I here?”

“Why?” Ulrich asked, confused about what Odd was trying to ask.

Odd groaned again. He was too hungover for this.

“How did I get back here? ” Odd rephrased. 

“Aelita.”

“Ah, she's always got my back!” Odd replied, too weak for his full enthusiasm.

Ulrich directed a sharp glare at him.

“She said when she found you, you were trying to do an interpretive dance in the street, but you could barely stand.”

Odd furrowed his brows. Most of last night, after a certain point, was pretty hazy.

“I don’t remember that part.”

“That’s not the point,” Ulrich said. He wasn’t speaking loudly, but there was an inflection in his voice that would have frightened most people, but not Odd.

“Ugh, can you be quieter? I’m still hungover, ya know!”

“You could have been hit by a car or something.”

“We’ve both been through worse,” Odd said flippantly, before realizing exactly what he said.

He glanced over at Ulrich to see that his entire body was tense. The two of them just stared at each other for a moment, both seemingly frozen.

Without a word or a sound, Ulrich turned and left the room. Once he was gone, Odd took a deep breath.

I forgot how much Ulrich hates talking about that.

Odd pulled himself out of bed to close the door that Ulrich had left open. After pausing a moment to gather himself, he started to pull out what he needed to take a shower.

There better still be time for lunch when I get to the cafeteria.

“What’s wrong, no plans tonight?” Jeremie asked.

“Would you believe that out of all my contacts, not one of them knows of anything going on tonight. Nothing!” Odd cried dramatically as he flopped on Jeremie’s bed.

“Probably because finals start tomorrow,” Jeremie replied, not even glancing away from his computer.

“And my fake ID got confiscated by Delmas so I can’t even get into a club.”

“How tragic that you got busted doing illegal things,” Jeremie said sarcastically.

“It is tragic!”

Jeremie sighed. “Why do you even need to go out tonight, anyway?”

Odd twisted himself around to look at the back of Jeremie’s head. He’d had a protest in his mind, but at the last moment he thought better of saying it.

“I forgot you don’t… you wouldn’t understand,” he just said dejectedly.

“Not at all,” Jeremie agreed.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Aelita’s here, time for you to leave,” Jeremie said.

“Can’t I stay a little longer?” Odd whined.

“I don’t mind,” Aelita said as she entered the room.

“He’s just going to distract us,” Jeremie responded.

“But you guys are going to have all the fun without me!”

Jeremie pushed on the bridge of his glasses. “We do have an exciting night planned. We’re studying for the science final, starting with the discovery of-”

“You know, on second thought maybe I’ll see what Yumi is doing tonight.” Odd pulled himself off of the bed and moved toward the door.

“Can’t you just hang out in your dorm with Ulrich?” Aelita asked.

“He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he needed to study at the library and I was not to interrupt him under any circumstances unless someone was dying.”

“Are you sure you’ll be ok, Odd?” 

“Aelita,” Jeremie spoke in a hushed tone. “We’ve discussed this. You’re not responsible for taking care of everyone.”

Jeremie’s right, Odd thought to himself. Aelita’s already done a lot for me recently.

“I'll be fine. Besides, I wouldn't want to interrupt your hot date anyway.”

Jeremie and Aelita both blushed and awkwardly shifted, causing Odd to laugh loudly as he exited the room.

Once he was out in the hall, he quickly pulled out his phone and called Yumi's number. It rang twice before she answered.

“What is it?” Yumi asked.

“What are you doing tonight?” Odd asked.

“I'm studying.”

“Sounds boring. Would you like me to come make it entertaining for you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?"

“Is that the only reason you called?” She sounded more agitated than normal.

“Well yeah, but-”

Suddenly, all he could hear was the dial tone.

I can’t believe she just hung up on me!

Not a single person wanted to do anything fun tonight.

That’s alright. He could just head back to his room and try to study.

All alone, with no one to keep him company. Only silence.

It’s fine.

Really, it's fine.

Once in his room, he glanced at his desk.

Honestly, the others are right. I'm in danger of failing my classes.

I should study…

Just the prospect of having to sit and try to focus just seemed… impossible right now.

I guess I could take my books to the library. At least there would be people around there, maybe that will help me focus.

It was a good idea. Really, that’s exactly what he should be doing tonight.

Just grab my books and go. Easy.

But instead of gathering up his books, he just stood there, staring into space and trying to catch his breath.

…strange. He's never had trouble breathing before.

Except for that time when…

Odd stopped himself from finishing that thought.

X.A.N.A. is gone.

The world is safer now.

He heard a whimper and looked down to see Kiwi staring up at him.

“Good dog,” Odd said as he picked him up.

Maybe I just need to lay down for a little while.

Odd set Kiwi down on the bed and allowed him to adjust himself before moving to lay down also. He curled into himself as he felt his chest tighten.

There were too many of them. Too many thoughts and feelings and memories, all demanding attention at the same time.

This is why he hated being alone - this always seemed to happen if he was alone for too long.

He wasn't even sure how long it had been until the feeling passed. An hour? Two hours? It was dark outside now, and he was too thoroughly exhausted to even greet Ulrich when he heard him returning.

Half of the lights flashed a series of different colors, filling the room with an ever-changing ambiance. The other half of the lights were white lights on a string hung in various places throughout the house.

The music was loud and he could feel the beat reverberate throughout his entire body.

Whose house was this again? Where was it located?

And, how many drinks has he had?

The fact that he couldn't remember the answers to these questions should concern him, but somehow it didn't.

It seemed like there was something else he was trying to forget and, well, apparently he succeeded. If he forgot a few other things along the way, did that really matter?

All that was real to him what whatever was going on in the present moment - the lights, the music, the people, the dancing…

Everything else was for future him to figure out.

Chapter Text

Generosity is a good thing, is it not?

Was she doing too much? Maybe. Probably.

But honestly, compared to what the others had done for her sake, it seemed like the least she could do.

After all, it was, ultimately, for her sake that they all suffered as much as they did. Should she not make sacrifices for their sakes? How could she do any less than they did?

Even if she sometimes struggled, Aelita swore that she would always be there for anyone who needed her.

She would never be a burden to her friends again.

“Does that explanation help you understand it better?” Aelita smiled at William, but she couldn't help but to keep her eye on the nearest exit. Just in case.

“Actually, it does. Thanks,” William replied.

His voice still sounded strange to her without X.A.N.A.’s voice mixed in.

“Ready to move to the homework then?”

“Yeah.”

The two of them sat silently across from each other as they worked separately. Aelita tried her best to appear comfortable and at ease and had no idea if William was able to pick up on how she really felt or not.

Any time he was around, she could feel her body shake with anxiety. It was as though she still expected to have to be prepared to either fight or escape. Even now, safe in the library with witnesses around, she couldn't get her hands to stop shaking.

She didn’t fully understand how human bodies work, but it was confusing to her. It didn't seem fair.

It wasn't his fault, she often repeated to herself. I've been Xanafied too, and it could've also happened to anyone else.

Still, she couldn't look William in the eyes for fear of seeing the dreaded symbol.

It’s our fault he fell behind, anyway.

Suddenly she realized that he had said something.

“Sorry, what was that?”

William gave her a slightly frustrated look.

"I said, you're the only one of the group who actually talks to me,” William said.

“Really? I've seen you talking to Yumi.”

“Only when I approach her first,” William responded, slouching a bit.

Guess I can't be too surprised about that, Aelita thought.

The two of them went back into an awkward silence as they continued their work. Once Aelita had completed her worksheet, she glanced around the library once again.

There’s still plenty of people in here.

Good.

“I’m done,” William’s voice suddenly came, making her involuntarily jump.

“Great! Let’s review our answers!”

She expected him to immediately say something about the assignment or start reading through the questions, but instead she noticed he was staring at her.

Her heart began pounding in her chest. She wanted to ask him what he was doing, but her throat seemed too restrictive.

“You know, you really don’t have to help me if you don’t want to,” he finally said.

“W-what makes you say that?” Aelita was disappointed at how shaky her voice came out.

“You’ve been fidgeting and staring at the door the whole time.”

Was I really fidgeting?

“Oh.”

Neither one of them spoke. After a few moments, William sighed and slowly started to gather his things.

“I get it,” he said. “Thanks anyway.” He turned and made his way toward the door.

Aelita didn’t know what to feel as he walked away.

“William?” Aelita called before he got too far.

William paused and turned just enough to show that he was listening.

“Maybe one day we can be friends.” The words sounded trite, but she truly meant it.

He tried to hide it, but Aelita managed to catch how he smiled to himself.

“Friends. That would be nice.”

How hard could it be, really?

Sure, having someone who can lift the other end wouldn't be a bad thing, but the box wasn’t actually heavy, only awkward. She could’ve waited until someone was available, but she didn’t want the package to stay in the mail room for too long.

…Not that she had actually asked for help, but she knew the others had been extra focused on their schoolwork lately. She couldn’t pull them away from that.

Besides, she was excited to set up her new keyboard and test it out as soon as possible. Now, she wouldn’t have to go to the music room to practice her piano skills.

All she had to do was take one stair at a time.

It would’ve been easier if most of the weight wasn’t on one side. And if the box was a little thinner so she could get a better grip. Still, it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle on her own.

By the time she made it to the top of the first flight of stairs, she heard the sound of someone else walking up, so she pulled herself into the corner to let them pass.

“Do you need help with that?” It was Yumi’s voice.

“Yumi? What are you doing here?”

“I left my book in Ulrich’s room, he said it was fine for me to go without him.”

Aelita just nodded.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Yumi asked, looking at the box.

“I can handle it! It’s not heavy.” Aelita said with a smile. She started making her way up the next flight of stairs to the girls’ floor when she felt a small tug.

“Here, let me get the other end.”

Aelita wanted to resist, but Yumi had already taken her side of the box and was telling Aelita to move.

With Yumi’s help, the two of them were able to move much quicker. Once they arrived in Aelita’s room, it didn’t take long to set up the keyboard.

“I need to get going, but I’ll stop by after classes and you can show me what you’ve been learning,” Yumi said.

Aelita watched Yumi leave, feeling a slight pang of guilt for whatever she was pulling Yumi away from.

Aelita groaned when her alarm went off. She wished she could sleep longer, but she had promised Herve that she would help him set up for the science fair before breakfast.

She managed to pull herself out of the warm comfort of her bed and thought about the rest of her schedule for the day as she got dressed.

After breakfast, she would give Milly and Tamiya an interview for the school paper. Then during her first break, a study session with Ulrich. After that, she’d have to quickly give Kiwi a walk before her afternoon classes. Then, she would go to Yumi’s house to help her look at and narrow down possible colleges. And finally, when all that was done, she would have dinner with Jeremie.

At least today I have a break before bed. Tomorrow's schedule is worse.

Once dressed, she took a moment to just close her eyes where she stood until the dizziness stopped. Then, she grabbed her backpack filled with everything she needed for the day and set out toward the gymnasium.

Herve was already there when she arrived. After a few moments of discussing exactly what needed to be done, the two of them worked quickly and efficiently and soon she was heading to the cafeteria.

“Are you ok, Aelita?” Jeremie asked when she arrived at breakfast. “You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine, I just had to get up early is all.”

Jeremie eyed her skeptically but said nothing. 

Aelita was quiet during breakfast, which wasn’t too unusual. Even more unusual was the fact that Odd was quiet too, only talking to complain of a headache. It just seemed like it was going to be an off day for all of them.

During Milly and Tamiya’s interview, she had another dizzy spell, causing them to have to restart. After that minor hiccup, though, they seemed satisfied with the second attempt. After a little (or a lot) of coffee, her morning classes went by quickly until it was time for her study session in the library.

“Are you alright?” Ulrich asked from across the table.

Aelita stopped herself from rolling her eyes.

“I’m fine, why?”

“You look really pale.”

“Jeremie said that this morning too. I’m just tired.”

“But it’s worse now.”

Aelita looked up from her work and for a second she thought Ulrich had somehow triplicated himself in the real world. After blinking a few times, the others went away and she realized that the real Ulrich was shoving his schoolwork back into his bookbag.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m taking you to see the nurse.”

“Ulrich, I said I’m-”

“Then stand up.”

Aelita stood up, and the room seemed surreal and unsteady until she felt something grab her arm.

“Alright, princess. Come with me.”

She wanted to argue, but deep down she knew Ulrich was probably right. At least everyone left them alone when she walked with him.

Before long, they were standing in the nurse’s office being told that she is running a low fever.

“You’ve been overworking yourself and you’re exhausted. I’m writing you a note for your afternoon classes. I want you to stay here and get some rest.”

That actually sounds… nice, Aelita thought as she let out a yawn and closed her eyes.

She could barely hear Ulrich’s voice as she drifted off.

“I’ll send Jeremie to check on you later.”

“Thank you, Ulrich.”

Chapter Text

William bore the least of it, and yet somehow that carried its own form of pain.

One moment he was stepping into a scanner as a trusted member of the group and exploring a virtual world. The next moment he was leaving the scanner, no longer trusted, and never to enter that virtual world again.

The worst part? Months had passed within those few seconds. Months.

The others looked at him with anger and suspicion, except for Jeremy and Aelita. Jeremy always looked at him with a blank expression. And Aelita… Aelita always looked at him with a strange mix of genuine compassion and yet pure terror.

It was all so confusing, and he really had to push hard to get answers out of the group. And the answers, usually, didn’t even make him feel any better.

“You're telling me that I was missing for MONTHS and nobody bothered to report it?”

William vaguely wondered if Yumi really hated him that much, or if she was just that good at hiding whatever was going on in her mind. Either way, it was unnerving how little emotion her words carried.

“We had to protect the supercomputer. If anyone found out, they'd shut it down, and that was our only way to fight X.A.N.A.”

“So you sacrificed me instead.”

Yumi flinched at that. She glanced around at the rec room and kept her voice low.

“We did everything in our power to rescue you as soon as possible, and we finally did.”

“Not everything.” Unlike Yumi, William didn't care who heard them talking.

“Hey, you have the answers you wanted. Are we done now?”

William took an intimidating step closer.

“Actually, I don’t have all the answers I want.”

He observed how Yumi hugged herself and squeezed her arm a few times, muttering something under her breath. Even so, she held her ground.

He could at least commend her for that.

Was he being unfair given that Yumi truly had suffered at his hand? Possibly.

Did he care? A little, but not enough.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“I want to know what happened while I was… gone.”

“And I’ve already told you everything I know.”

William gave Yumi a hard stare. It was clear that he would be getting no more answers from her. Perhaps he had pushed far enough.

“...Fine.”

He backed off and watched as she left.

Deep down, he knew that none of them would be able to give him what he was looking for. No one could.

After all, he wasn’t even sure himself what he was looking for anymore.

William tossed his backpack toward his desk before letting out a deep sigh. Classes were done for the day, he had the afternoon off, and there was no school tomorrow.

He wondered what the “other” version of him would do on a day like today.

The old version of him would've been heading out by now to go find some kind of mischief to get involved in, or maybe try to see what Yumi was doing.

But today, he actually wanted to be alone.

It was quiet.

William quickly changed into his sweatpants before looking around for where he had put his running shoes.

As he glanced around the room, he noticed the birthday card laying on his desk. Though he had read it several times already, he picked it up to read it yet another time.

“Dear William. I saw this and it made me think of you. Happy Birthday! Signed, Jessica.”

William, apparently, knew three Jessicas and he had no idea which one of them had given this to him.

Maybe it was the one who got mad at me the day after I… came back.

He looked at the birthday card again, still unable to identify which of the new objects in his room had been attached to it.

At least the other “me” kept the card.

He tossed the card back on to the desk before locating the running shoes on the floor, under where he had tossed his backpack. He laced them up quickly and headed out for his afternoon jog.

It didn’t happen right away, but things had started to change after that strange day. People treated him differently, and insisted that he had said and done things which he never did. Eventually, this started to affect his mind. More and more, his mind was filled with so many thoughts and feelings that they all sort of blended together in a tangled mess that he had no idea what to do with.

It was frustrating, and there was no one who could guide him. The only people who could relate didn’t even want to be around him. He felt…

Alone.

Lonely.

At least there was one emotion he could identify.

Once outside, William took a moment to breathe in the air. He had never been the type to just sit in his room and think about his feelings - he preferred to keep moving and stay grounded in the present.

Too bad his mind couldn’t quiet itself down like it used to.

William did a few quick stretches to warm up. He glanced around and noticed a group of students who gave him strange and disappointed looks before moving away from him.

The other version of “himself” had made a handful of friends, but they left him behind soon after the “incident.” He had offended them by suddenly acting like he had no idea who they were.

And, by his sudden change of personality.

It wasn't like he could tell them the truth of what had happened.

Not that he was particularly attached to those people or anything - after all, he wasn't the one who had built those friendships. But he now had a reputation of being a bit strange and flaky. No one wanted to talk to him because of it.

Lonely.

William took off running, heading toward the woods where he was unlikely to run into anyone else.

At this point, all he really wanted was to just declare that this was a weird time in his life and move on to something else.

A fake version of himself was living his life for months while an artificial intelligence used his body to attack what was supposed to be his team. And he had no memories of any of this.

It made him sick to his stomach. He had no idea how to even begin to process that. So, he picked up his pace, pushing his body to run as fast and as far as he can.

Just keep moving.

“Are you sure you want to transfer?”

Mr. Delmas eyed William curiously across his desk.

“I am,” William replied.

Mr. Delmas flipped through the documents one last time before straightening them and handing them back to William.

“Frankly, I still don’t understand why. You’ve made such great improvements. I really think staying behind a year was exactly what you needed.”

William wanted so badly to tell Mr. Delmas the truth. To let someone in authority know everything that had really happened that year. To have someone who truly understood and was able to give him some guidance on how to process those missing months.

But he knew he wouldn’t.

The others could do whatever they wanted - they were going to anyway, regardless of anything he thought or felt. But he had made a vow and he would not be the one to break it.

“I just think this is what's best for me for now, for… personal reasons.”

“I see. Well, I have completed your letter of recommendation.”

Mr. Delmas pulled open a drawer in his desk and pulled out another document which he handed over to William.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Honestly, I’m sorry to see you go Mr. Dunbar. Nonetheless, I wish you well in all of your future endeavors.”

William looked past the principal to the window. Outside, he could see the group of five, sitting together on one of the park benches.

I’m sorry too .

Chapter Text

Aelita was absolutely beautiful, kind, and intelligent. Jeremie knew she, if anyone, deserved life and all of the wonderful things that came with it.

And if knowing Aelita wasn’t a wonderful enough result, Jeremie had made three other amazing friends also. People he never would have expected to get along with, but there was a deep love between the five of them. Their bond was unexplainable and, thus far, unbreakable.

And yet…

Turning on the supercomputer had also caused untold damage. They all suffered from far too many close calls, far too many burdens to bear. And, though they don’t remember it, they had put the entire city in danger countless times.

Everything that had happened, good and bad, was because he turned on the supercomputer.

There were two starkly different sides of this, and he was at a loss as to how to reconcile both of them.

So he didn’t.

“But Jeremie, don’t you remember how we met?”

Jeremie laced his fingers behind his head and leaned back in the chair.

“Well, yeah. Of course I do!”

There was an awkward pause.

“...and?” Aelita prompted.

“We met through Odd. He thought I’d get along with his cousin, you, and set us up to video chat.”

Something about that statement didn’t feel quite right, but Jeremie wasn’t one to be led by his feelings. For the most part, anyway.

Aelita was silent for a moment, a concerned look on her face.

“And, how about Odd and the others? Do you remember how you met them?”

Jeremie’s eye twitched. It was such a strange thing to be questioned over.

“I was getting a drink from the vending machines one day and Odd and Ulrich just started talking to me. I met Yumi later, through Ulrich.”

“…I see,” Aelita replied.

He could tell that she was really getting frustrated, and yet he couldn’t understand why. If anything, he should be the one getting frustrated. After all, she was the one carrying this asinine idea of virtual worlds and going back in time to erase memories way too far.

It just wasn’t logical.

He was all for wild theorizing, but this was too far. And, something about it made him anxious.

“But you don’t remember-”

“A virtual world inside of a supercomputer inside of an abandoned factory is just not possible, Aelita.”

He couldn’t understand why this topic infuriated him so much, but it did. He pulled his hands back in front of him and started to fidget. There was something pricking at his memory, and yet he couldn't identify what it was.

“But it is possible!” Aelita protested. “Don’t you remember eighth grade? And the factory?”

Something inside him felt off. The only way he could really describe it was like some kind of internal dizziness. He could remember the two of them spending hours, late into the night, working on some kind of project together. He also remembered Odd, Ulrich, and Yumi being very interested in their project.

But for some reason, he couldn’t remember exactly what the project was. Any time he tried to think about it, it felt like there was something in his mind that blocked him from truly remembering.

Not that it mattered. After all, they weren’t working on that project anymore, were they?

So it couldn’t have been that important, especially if he forgot it so easily.

And it certainly couldn’t be related to whatever strange joke Aelita was trying to play.

“Aelita! Please just drop this.”

He instantly regretted his tone when he noticed tears starting to well up in her eyes.

Why is she so passionate about this?

“You… you really don’t remember?"

Jeremie hesitated. He wanted to comfort her, but she just wasn’t being rational.

But I love her, he reminded himself. Aelita’s not the type to get upset over nothing, even if I don’t understand it.

He moved over to her and sat next to her on the bed.

“No, I don’t.”

He put his arm around her, and she immediately pulled him into a tight hug and started crying into his shoulder.

It was rare to see Aelita cry, and he never knew what to do. So he just gently rubbed her back and let her take the time she needed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I know we swore to never tell anyone about Lyoko, but this is insane.” Odd said as he leaned against the wall and took a sip of his coffee.

“I don’t think he’s faking it,” Aelita replied somberly.

“You think he’s actually lost his memory?” Odd asked.

“I… I don’t know.”

A silence fell between them as another student approached the vending machines. He glanced curiously at the quiet older students before getting his snack and leaving.

“Do you think… it will happen to the rest of us?” Yumi asked once he left.

All three of them tensed at the thought.

“Why do you ask?” Odd replied, looking thoughtfully into his coffee.

“I just thought, maybe it has something to do with how long it’s been since we used the scanners or the return to the past or something.”

“That would be nice,” Odd mumbled.

Yumi hugged herself and gently squeezed her arm four times.

“I’m not sure if I’d want to forget or not.”

“I don’t think I ever could forget,” Aelita said softly.

“Either way,” said Yumi, “we need to figure out what’s going on with Jeremie. At the very least, we need to know if it’s anything serious or not.”

The others agreed.

“I still have some time before my next class. I’ll check and see if he still has the information for Lyoko, and I’ll let you know what I find. Cover for me if anyone asks where I went.”

“Are you sure it’s ok?” Yumi asked.

“He lets me use his computer without him around all the time,” Aelita replied.

The others nodded.

Aelita left them and made her way to the dorm across campus and through the boys’ floor until she successfully snuck into Jeremie’s room. It took a little while for her to find the files on Lyoko as Jeremie had hidden them pretty well, but they were all still there.

As she looked through the files, there was nothing that indicated that memory loss was an expected effect of Lyoko over time. The only information she found was what they already knew - using the scanners prevented memory loss from the Return to the Past.

Aelita felt selfish that a small part of her was actually relieved. But mostly, it just made her more anxious.

“Oh, Jeremie. What’s going on with you?”

Another nightmare.

This time, he could hear the voices of his friends screaming for help and the sounds of what seemed to be an ugly sci-fi battle. He wanted to help them, but there was a computer screen in front of him filled with data that he couldn’t quite comprehend. Somehow he knew that understanding it would help them, but he didn’t know why. Dream logic, he supposed.

Jeremie squinted his eyes and pulled his alarm clock close enough to see it. 2:43 AM. He rolled over and tried to fall back asleep.

It was strange how real and vivid the dream had felt. It was almost like a memory that wanted to be uncovered.

Jeremie shook his head to get that thought out of his mind. That was impossible.

Although, a darker side of him whispered, you do have some gaps in your memories of that year.

“It’s normal for memories to fade over time.” Jeremie startled himself in that he actually said that out loud.

Why would Aelita cry over a joke?

“I don’t know what goes on in her mind half the time.”

And why does her “joke” make you so anxious?

Jeremie sat up and rubbed his eyes to stop those thoughts from continuing. Getting back to sleep won’t be as easy as he had hoped. Reaching for his glasses, he checked the time again.

2:47 AM

The campus was generally safe and well-lit at this time of night, wasn’t it? Perhaps a walk would help him until he settled down enough to go back to sleep.

I’ll have to do some research on dreams in the morning.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t unusual for students to get stressed. Especially as an honor student who needed to maintain her 4.0 average. And as far as the world knew, that’s all Yumi was - an honor student with way too much pressure on her shoulders.

It wasn’t inaccurate.

After all, she did have a lot of pressure on her from her academics.

Really, that should be it. X.A.N.A. is dead. There was no need to run to the factory any time something strange happened. No more trips into the past to relive countless days. No more battles that were real in one sense but not in another.

It's the life she wanted to get back to from the moment she first stepped foot into the scanner.

And yet, somehow she didn't know how to adjust to only being a student.

“Where is it? Where did it go?”

Yumi could feel herself shaking as she searched through her things to find her missing cell phone.

“Looking for something?” Hiroki leaned on her doorframe with his arms crossed.

“Not now, Hiroki. I lost my phone.”

“You’re this panicked about a cell phone?”

“Anything could happen and I’d never know about it!”

I have to be ready for anything.

“It’s not like the world is going to end just because you don’t have your phone.”

Yumi whipped around to yell, but then froze.

Hiroki was right.

That wasn’t always the case, but there is no way he could have known.

She took a deep breath and gently hugged herself, squeezing her arm four times.

I’m here, on Earth, and not on Lyoko. X.A.N.A. is dead. There is no more danger. This is real.

“Yumi, did… did something happen?” Hiroki’s voice was uncharacteristically soft with concern.

“Nothing happened. I’m fine,” Yumi snapped.

“...Did Ulrich do anything to you?” Hiroki asked seriously, slowly approaching her.

“It has nothing to do with Ulrich.”

“But there is an ‘it’ which means something did happen.”

Yumi groaned.

“Hiroki, either help me find my phone or get out of my room!”

Hiroki just stood there, looking like he was contemplating something.

“Get out,” Yumi demanded as she pushed her brother toward the door.

Hiroki reached into his pocket.

“It’s right here.”

Yumi snatched the phone from him and hurriedly checked her messages.

Nothing.

There was no impending danger, no need to evacuate anyone, no rush to the factory.

Yumi took a deep breath and eased herself to the bed to sit down. She wrapped her arms around herself, slightly rocking.

“...Yumi?”

Oh, right, Hiroki is still here.

“Why did you steal my phone?” Yumi asked. She tried to not let her voice sound too angry, but she still needed to finish calming down.

“I just… wanted to know what was going on with you,” Hiroki replied.

“So you went through my phone?”

Hiroki held his hands up. “I promise I didn’t go through it. I just wanted you to talk to me. You’re always stressed and you never talk to me anymore.”

His words felt like a punch to the gut. His concern was so… earnest.

I guess I have been neglecting him.

Still…

“...Yumi?”

Yumi gently squeezed her little brother’s shoulder.

“...I’m sorry, Hiroki. But I… I can’t tell you right now.”

“Where is everyone?” Yumi asked as she approached the usual lunch table.

“The Einsteins are working on some project and Ulrich got in trouble again. Looks like it’s just you and me today!”

“Great,” Yumi said in a playfully sarcastic way. “By the way, I’m going to make a quick to-do list while we eat.”

“That’s fine,” Odd replied as he tried to place a meatball on the spoon he was balancing with his finger.

She set her tray down and seated herself before pulling out her notebooks, multiple writing utensils, highlighters, calendar, her cell phone… It seemed like she was endlessly pulling things out of her bag. She then took some time to organize everything, ignoring the way Odd looked at her curiously.

“Why do you have all that stuff?” he asked, seemingly now disinterested in the balancing act.

“All what stuff?” Yumi asked.

Odd gestured to Yumi’s setup.

“All that just to make a list? Or is there a surprise study session that I don’t know about?”

“No?” Yumi said, still confused at whatever Odd was trying to get at. “I just like to be prepared for anything, that’s all.”

“Are you expecting something to happen?” Odd asked.

Yumi paused. She looked at her setup before realizing most of it probably could have stayed in her bag.

“I… I guess not. I just like to be ready.”

The two of them exchanged an understanding look with each other before they continued their meal in silence.

Truly, this was the best spot for thinking.

Or at least this was her favorite spot.

During the day, she could see the factory if she sat in just the right spot, or not see it if she moved a few feet over. At night, the lights of the city reflected off of the water of the Seine in such a beautiful way. It was the perfect spot for thinking.

Or just existing.

Yumi took a moment to really focus on and appreciate the moment. There was a gentle breeze that tousled her hair. On the river, there was a little boat slowly moving downstream. The sun was starting to set, and soon the streetlights would begin turning on.

She hugged herself, and squeezed her arm four times.

I’m here, on Earth, and not on Lyoko. X.A.N.A. is dead. There is no more danger. This is real.

This had become something she repeated to herself any time she started feeling distressed, which ended up being several times a day.

Think about something else, she told herself.

She glanced in the direction of the school, even though she couldn’t actually see it from where she was sitting.

In a few weeks, she would be entering her last year of high school and having to start making decisions on what she wanted her future to be.

Her future…

Objectively, it was a good thing that she had plenty of options open to her already. But that also filled her with anxiety as she had no idea which option to pick.

Perhaps leaving everything and getting a new start somewhere else was what she needed. To be able to officially put the memories behind her and move forward in her life.

That’s probably what’s best. But, she didn’t know if she really wanted to leave Paris.

Ulrich had already told her that he was alright with a long distance relationship. He had encouraged her that she couldn’t hold herself back for him, and that they’d work things out somehow. Besides, there was actually a good chance they’d end up long distance even if she did stay, as he was unlikely to stay in Paris after his own graduation.

But it wasn’t just for Ulrich that she was considering staying. This is where her family lived - at least, the family members she was closest to. Sure, her relationship with Hiroki and her parents has been strained lately, but that was only because of the things she couldn’t tell them.

If only she could be honest. To them, but also to herself.

Deep down, at some level that she didn't fully want to acknowledge, she knew those were just excuses. There was another reason she wanted to stay.

If something happened, she would not be able to get to the factory.

She knew it was irrational, and yet… well, she needed to make sure she was always prepared for anything.

The chaos and uncertainty terrified her, but this was a chaos she knew.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching.

“Relax, it's just me,” Aelita said.

Yumi turned her attention back to the water as Aelita sat down next to her. She was unsure if Aelita had come out here to keep her company, or if she also needed some space to think. Either way, together they sat there in silence. The streetlights were now slowly coming on one by one. And the little boat, though moving slow and steady, had covered quite a distance already.

At least I don’t have to make these decisions alone.

Chapter Text

Ulrich was angry. And it was becoming more and more of a problem.

A problem to the point that he had already been kicked off of the soccer team for repeated fouls due to unnecessary roughness. Now, he was in danger of getting kicked out of school altogether.

Just about everyone noticed this change in him, and they stayed far away. The only ones who seemed unaffected were his group of friends and, strangely, William.

In actuality, his friends seemed to be the only ones who could calm him down. They, especially Yumi, would drag him into the forest, and he would emerge anywhere from an hour to a few hours later.

In the event that he needed to apologize to someone for his behavior, he usually had Aelita by his side, coaching him through it.

The air was warm with a gentle breeze that made it just right. This far in the woods, the sounds of the city were so quiet and far away. The sound of birds chirping seemed like the most important thing going on in the world.

Ulrich lay with his head in Yumi’s lap as she gently ran her fingers through his hair and scratched his scalp.

Honestly, this moment would’ve been perfect if he could just let go and enjoy it.

…If he didn’t feel such shame and regret for getting into the third fight this week. He probably would’ve sent the other guy to the hospital if Yumi hadn’t pulled him away to calm him down.

It helped, it really did, but she shouldn’t have to do this.

“I'm scared, Yumi.”

Yumi started as though she had been pulled out of a daydream. “What? Why?”

“Because what if…” He knew what he wanted to say, but when he tried to speak, he just… couldn't.

“Nevermind.”

“Tell me,” Yumi asked, though it was more of a gentle command.

Ulrich sighed and tried again.

For Yumi. I can say this for Yumi.

He spoke slowly, trying to force it out.

“What if… one day… it's you?”

Yumi looked at him puzzled before she realized what he meant.

“That won't happen,” she stated, though her voice shook slightly. “I know you would never hurt me.”

“I don't want to ever hurt you, but I… I lose control so easily.”

Yumi shifted a little. Ulrich could tell that this was making her uncomfortable, but it needed to be said. Together, they sat in silence, both deep in thought.

The thought that he could one day hurt the ones he loved most made him clench his jaw to the point of pain. He could not let that happen.

But how?

“Do you think,” Yumi started hesitantly. “Do you think it’s time we told someone?”

It was like she could read his mind.

This is why Yumi was the only person he felt safe enough to be vulnerable around.

There was another comfortable pause as the two of them thought about it separately.

“Odd and I are out of control. You and Aelita are constantly stressed. And Jeremie is…” Ulrich trailed off. He could feel the anxiousness rise up within him again, so he focused on the sensation of Yumi playing with his hair and the sound of the birds chirping.

“I can’t speak for the others, but I would be ok with telling someone,” Yumi said softly.

Somehow, those words were what Ulrich needed to hear.

Sissi made her way through the cafeteria to dispose of her tray. As she passed a certain table, she caught a glimpse of someone she used to stare at often.

Ulrich.

She quickly moved past the table and out into the courtyard before he could notice her.

There were times when she wondered what, exactly, it was she ever saw in him.

Or, perhaps the better question was: was he always like this or did something in him change at some point?

Sure, he was always a bit of a jerk, but now he just seemed…

Sissi didn’t quite know how to describe it.

Cold? Harsh? Threatening ?

Whatever it was, it was dangerous.

Sissi glanced through the window to observe him once more. Though Odd was animatedly telling some story, no doubt about some wild party, Ulrich just sat there with a scowl. She wondered how Odd wasn’t put off by that, but Odd was… well, Odd.

I wonder… if that has anything to do with the secret they were hiding.

She turned to continue on before bumping into someone.

“Sorry!” she exclaimed, turning to see that it was Yumi she bumped into.

Yumi.

For better or for worse, Yumi seemed too distracted to really notice.

“Oh, hi Sissi. You haven’t seen Jeremie and Aelita, have you?”

“No, I haven’t,” Sissi replied.

Yumi gave her a nod before walking away.

Honestly, sometimes she wondered what, exactly, Yumi had to put up with in dating Ulrich.

It wasn’t that she didn’t have genuine concern for him, or even for Yumi. After all, she still cared for him at some level, and her relationship with Yumi had improved to the point that they actually had occasional pleasant conversations.

Her relationships with a lot of people improved after she had that falling out with Herve and Nicholas and she… realized some things about herself.

No, it wasn’t that she didn’t care about Ulrich at all anymore, it was that she had realized that there was a difference between “dangerous” and “fun and exciting.” And she learned that, in this case, it was better to stay far away.

Whatever it was that Ulrich needed, Sissi knew she couldn’t give it to him.

Ulrich put on his headphones and hit “shuffle” and “play” before squeezing his portable CD player into his now stretched out back pocket. As the sounds of the guitar started, he quickly wrapped his hands before moving over to the punching bag hanging near the side wall. At this time of day, there was rarely anyone else in the gym, which was perfect for him to let out some aggression in private.

At this point, Ulrich had about four different burned CDs filled with some of the angriest music he knew. He would switch them out as he came here at the same time almost every day. There was something that was just so cathartic in losing himself to the music while he took out everything on the bag.

He wasn’t even sure how many songs had played when he felt his headphones being pulled off of his head.

Ulrich didn’t even think about it, he just reacted.

Whipping around, he threw a hard punch directly into the face of whoever was behind him. He started to follow that up with a second punch before feeling his arms being twisted around and pinned against his back. Panic started to swell up inside of him as he struggled to free himself.

“Hey, hey, calm down! It’s just me! It’s me!”

It took a few moments before Ulrich could understand what was being said to him or whose voice it was. Once he stopped struggling, Jim loosened his hold and started rubbing his own face.

“That’s probably going to leave a bruise,” he muttered.

“...sorry, Jim,” Ulrich said. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.

Jim glanced over at him.

“I’ll be alright,” he said with a big smile and a thumbs up.

Not that it made Ulrich feel any better about it.

Jim fidgeted with his hands for a moment before speaking again.

“Hey Stern, actually I uh,” Jim rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I came here because I wanted to ask if… if everything’s ok at home?”

“Everything’s fine,” Ulrich replied automatically. He continued to stare at the floor to the side to avoid eye contact.

“So your parents… they’re doing ok?” Jim asked.

“They’re good.”

There was an awkward pause and Ulrich wished that Jim would just leave him alone already.

“I’m, uh, not the best at this kind of thing, but I… well, I wanted you to know that I’m here if you need to talk about anything.”

Jim waited for a moment longer before sighing and turning to leave.

Ulrich watched Jim head toward the door before turning and picking up his CD player from where it had fallen out of his pocket. The music was still coming through the headphones, sounding distorted and far away.

He didn’t know what to do anymore.

He needed help. They all did.

I’m sorry, everyone. But I can’t keep this secret anymore.

Ulrich looked toward the door to see that Jim hadn’t quite left yet.

“...Jim?” he meekly called out.

Jim stopped and turned around.

“...yes?”

“Actually… there is something I want to tell you.”