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Chapter Text

Evan stood under the hot cascade of water and felt all his worries flowing away. Adi was waiting for him in his bedroom so he couldn’t take too long, but after a week without washing on Capeliga it was really nice to just stand here for a few moments and let the hot water soak into his body.

He reached for the shampoo and quickly washed his hair, then picked up the body wash and let loose, getting rid of all the sweat and grime that had built up. A smile lit his face at the thought that Adi had hugged him despite the way he smelled. He knew she had issues around the smell of sweat – the Bola Kai had stunk of sweat and she’d had that rank odour up close and personal every time they’d raped her – but she hadn’t shied away from Evan. She’d even told him – a couple of times now – that he smelled ‘safe’ to her. The smile grew even wider, and he quickly wiped away the froth, letting the shower head wash away the last vestiges of soap.

Thinking the water off, Evan stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel, drying himself quickly but efficiently. This was routine now after so many years in the military. Showering wasn’t meant to be a joy – it was meant to be a requirement, something that was undertaken with speed and competence.

He dressed the same way, wanting to get back out to the bedroom where Adi was waiting to be gifted with the painting he’d made for her. He had others to show her too, but that wasn’t why he was moving so quickly. It was Adi saying she wanted another hug – a ‘clean’ hug. And God, but he’d spent the whole of the last week packing his feelings for Adi away so that he could come back here and be her friend and nothing more, could watch her growing romance with his CO and feel only joy in their happiness – with no taint of jealousy to upset himself.

But that first sight of her – coming along the corridor towards him – had blown all of that out of the water. He was fucking gone on this woman. And for all that Colonel Sheppard had come and apologised for his devastating words, had said he wanted Evan to be there for Adi and to hug her if she needed it, there was no way the Colonel had meant for Evan to hug her with such depths of love in his heart.

Shaking his head at the treachery of his own feelings, Evan finished buckling his belt and then thought the bathroom door open and stepped out into the bedroom, a waft of steamy air following behind him.

Adi was sitting on the chair at the desk, waiting, and now she rose, a gloriously happy smile on her face. “You are all clean,” she said, and walked straight into his body, sliding her arms around him and settling in against his chest as if she belonged there.

‘And she does,’ his traitorous mind whispered. Evan pushed that thought away and gently returned the embrace, relishing the feel of Adi’s body resting softly against his own. “Do I smell better?” he asked softly, and Adi laughed.

“Of course you do,” she responded, drawing back from the embrace, the smile still bright on her face. “But I did not find the way you smelled before offensive, Evan.” She took a step away and pointed towards the stack of paintings leaning against the wall. “Will you show me what you created while you were gone?”

“Sure,” Evan said, leaning down and picking up the canvases. He lifted them onto the bed then picked up the top one and turned it over, revealing his painting of the ocean. The archipelago dominated the centre of the canvas, the water in all its infinite colours dancing around the little islands.

Adi gasped. “Evan… this is beautiful.”

“Thanks. I was pretty happy with how it turned out,” he said, setting the painting aside and reaching for another. It was a much smaller canvas, and when he turned it around, Adi saw her favourite impilli gazing back at her.

“Oh! It is Teu! Oh, Evan. You have captured her perfectly.” She turned her head and smiled at him, and Evan’s heart clutched in his chest. God! She was so beautiful.

Adi hadn’t noticed his reaction. She was reaching her hand out towards the next canvas, glancing at him to check it was okay. He nodded, watching as she lifted it and turned it over. It was another small canvas, and Adi laughed gently as she spotted the pethri hiding on their nests, one of the birds running away, her tail feathers pointing straight up in the air and her wings half unfolded to the sides. “Did you startle her, Evan?”

“I almost trod on her, poor thing,” he said. “I was distracted, typing the data into the laptop, and I took a couple of steps and there was an almighty squawk and suddenly she was running away from me. I had to capture that image for posterity!”

Adi smiled at him, her eyes dancing. “Indeed. My poor pethri.”

There was only one painting left and Evan reached for it, lifting it and standing it up on the bed. It was the view of the impilli fields that he’d finished yesterday evening, and Adi stilled at his side. The top of the painting showed the sunset on her planet, the clouds outlined in golds and pinks and oranges. The sky blended into the tops of the trees, the forest at a distance, while in the foreground the impilli herd were grazing, a few of them with their heads up, gazing straight at the artist. There were calves dotted about here and there, feeding quietly near their mothers, and the entire scene spoke of peace and serenity – and of a way of life that was lost to Adi now. She took a deep, shaky breath, her hand reaching out slowly, her fingers trailing over the impilli.

She turned to Evan and her eyes met his, a sheen of moisture in their depths. “Evan, it is beautiful. Thank you. It is a picture of my life, as it was. The peace of the evening when I would often go to visit with the impilli, knowing my community was happily gathering in the heart of the village, our evening meal cooking so that we could share the bounty of our lands together.” She took a shuddery breath, and then moved slightly, leaning into Evan’s body and snaking her arms around him.

Evan let go of the painting, hearing the soft ‘thud’ as it dropped against the bed sheets, but his arms were already rising to encircle this precious woman. He held her closely against his heart, feeling the rightness of this embrace, wanting to hold her there forever.

Adi eventually drew back, gazing up into Evan’s eyes. Her hand reached up to cup his cheek. “It is a beautiful gift, Evan, and one I shall treasure forever. Will you help me carry it to my room, so that we may hang it on the wall together?”

“Yeah,” Evan responded, his voice a little raspy. He cleared his throat. “Are you free now?”

Adi nodded and Evan picked up the painting, walking beside her through the halls. When they reached her room, Adi pointed to the wall opposite her bed. “May we hang it there, Evan? I should very much like to be able to see it when first I open my eyes in the morning.”

Evan nodded, and together they hung the picture, making sure it was level. Adi sat on her bed once it was done, patting the space beside her until Evan joined her. She was gazing at the painting, a wistful look on her face.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “It is a truly precious gift.”

Wanting nothing more than to slide his arm around Adi’s shoulders and give her some physical comfort, Evan held himself back and turned the conversation to something less dangerous. “How was your week?”

Adi sighed, turning slightly to face him. “It held many challenges.”

“Yeah, Colonel Sheppard told me about what happened at the Stitch ‘n’ Bitch. Are you okay now? He said you were pretty upset by Corporal Bosman’s comments.”

“I was. She… she suggested that the only reason you had accompanied me to my cabin was to… to…” Adi paused, breathing heavily through her nose as the memories rose up.

Evan reached out and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry. You told me the marines would notice if we went to your cabin together, and I didn’t care. But you’re the one who wore the backlash for that.”

“You need not apologise for something that was not your fault, Evan. You did not make Corporal Bosman behave in such a manner towards me. I think… I think she was interested in bonding with you herself and so she was… either seeking information on whether you would make a sensuous bed partner, or perhaps she was hoping I would say that I had moved on from you to yet another of the command staff, and so you were available for her to approach.”

Evan blushed. “Oh, um, no. She… she’s a Corporal. I can’t. I–I couldn’t anyway, even if I was… interested, and I’m, um, I’m not.”

A cheeky smile lit Adi’s face, bringing her dimples into view, and she laughed softly. “You are very sweet, Evan, when matters of intimacy are raised. I have never been around someone who is so shy when discussing those things that pass naturally between a man and a woman.”

Evan blushed an even deeper red and Adi reached for his other hand, squeezing them both lightly. “I did not mean to embarrass you. Has all been resolved between yourself and Colonel Sheppard? I did not know that he had spoken with you since you left for Capeliga.”

“Oh, he, uh, he came to see me yesterday afternoon, to, um, to apologise to me.” Evan could feel his skin flushing again with the memories of his CO sharing some of his backstory with him, trusting Evan to know deeply personal things about his history. Those moments on the cliff path when the Colonel had been asking Evan to come back to Atlantis and carry on as he had been, it’d felt… intimate, to be sitting there with him, essentially alone together, talking of private matters - just John and Evan rather than Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne - and despite the context of the conversation, Evan had been left with a warm glow around his heart from the trust that John had shown him.

“I am sorry to have been the cause of such distress,” Adi said softly, bringing Evan’s attention back to the present.

“No, hey, it wasn’t your fault, Adi. And yes, the Colonel apologised and we’re good. We’re fine again, now.”

Adi nodded, holding his eyes with her own as if trying to read his soul. She smiled. “I am glad. It was a very difficult time for all of us.”

“Yeah, it did kinda suck. I still can’t believe I said all those things to him in his office that day.” Evan shook his head ruefully.

“I think it was good for you both to have had that conversation, however distressing it may have been at the time.”

Evan nodded. “I think it’s cleared up some things anyway.” He smiled at Adi and withdrew his hands from her grasp, remembering that he was just supposed to be looking out for her, nothing more.

Adi returned his smile. “I must return to the greenhouse. I asked Chuck to let me know when you were due to return so that I might come and greet you. But I have duties that need my attention.” She stood, turning to gaze once more at her painting. “Thank you for the gift, Evan. It has lifted my spirits immensely.” She caught his eyes, smiling tenderly at him.

Evan smiled back at her, feeling wanted and cared about with the knowledge that Adi had deliberately gone out of her way to meet him as he arrived home. That was pretty special. But he just tilted his head to the door, saying, “Come on. I don’t want you neglecting your plants on my account,” and Adi laughed gently as she followed him out of her room and down the hall to the transporter, where they parted ways.

*****  *****

The pacagi meat John and his team had brought home from Talon World, as everyone was now calling it, finally made it onto the menu a week later.

Rodney hadn’t been very impressed to hear that 'Talon World' was now the official name, but had eventually accepted it with reasonable grace, asserting that at least the planet had been named in his honour.

John stood in the mess queue, sniffing the enticing aroma of roast pacagi and vegetables, and smiled, rocking on his feet. He felt a strong sense of accomplishment in having found a new and plentiful supply of food for his people. Hopefully, the discovery of this prehistoric herd would mean another tick in the column of self-sufficiency for Atlantis, and another step up the ladder to safety for his marines.  

He filled his plate with the tantalising meal and headed for his team’s table. He was feeling nicely tired after the busyness of the last few days. He and Lorne had taken the ZPM from the kids’ planet to be recharged – a mission that had been a little uncomfortable due to John’s lingering feelings of guilt at upsetting his XO so badly, and with their newly rediscovered camaraderie still so tenuous; however, Lorne had been his usual unruffled, affable, and reliable self, so it’d worked out okay. And then the following day, John had escorted the scientists, led by a very enthusiastic Rodney, to the Ancient underwater facility on Talon World.

The visit had been uneventful from a danger perspective, but very successful. With the newly re-filled ZPM from the kids’ planet installed, Rodney had discovered the shield could be triggered to expand all the way up to the surface of the lake, creating a sort of tunnel down which damaged jumpers could be flown if they were no longer watertight. And this meant a way to completely avoid Flipper and his friends, especially as Rodney had found a remote-control device that, if used on the surface as they arrived next time, would cause the shield to displace all the water between the surface and the facility so the jumpers could then descend in safety. Rodney and his team had also fixed the jumper that’d been there already and it was now snugly berthed in Atlantis’ Jumper Bay, much to John’s satisfaction.

He was smiling at the memory as he slipped into his seat at the team table. His gaze fell on Ronon’s plate, and his eyes widened at the amount of food there. John had thought he’d overstacked his plate, but wow! Ronon’s must have been practically overflowing when he’d started… of course, he was over halfway through now, shovelling the meat and veggies in as if there were no tomorrow. John looked back at his own plate, feeling like something of an underachiever.

The team sat and chatted comfortably about this and that, and then, when everyone was finished and Ronon and Teyla had headed off to the gym for their evening classes, John followed Rodney through the hallways to the labs, idly debating the merits of Starbuck versus Apollo in the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica they’d watched the night before.

Rodney had been making more of an effort to spend time with John since he’d been so badly injured in the Genii C4 blast, putting aside a couple of evenings a week to just hang out. But tonight, McKay had expressly asked for John to join himself and Zelenka in the lab to check through more of the Ancient gadgets they’d found in the underwater facility. There’d been a whole set of shelves full of random things at the back of the crystal storage room, and they hadn’t even scratched the surface of them yet.

Zelenka was bent over his desk, muttering to himself, when they got there.

“Whatcha doing?” John asked when Radek ignored their arrival.

“Ah, Colonel, I am finishing another of the proximity devices. With all the crystals we found, I am making more for our teams, yes?”

“Ooh, cool,” John said, and Rodney rolled his eyes.

“Yes, very cool,” he snarked, “but let’s do some actual research here.” He bent and pulled out the box of gadgets.

John didn’t join him straight away. “How many have you made so far, Radek?”

“With Adi’s one and this one, there are now thirteen.”

John did a rapid calculation in his head. “How many more do you think you can make?”

Radek shrugged. “There are many crystals of this type. I have planned to make seventeen in total, which would be Adi’s, plus one per person for four teams to go off-world at same time.”

“Okay. That’s good for us. Can you maybe make a few for the SGC as well? I’d like their teams to be able to have at least one each.”

“Hey! We don’t want to be giving them all our crystals,” Rodney interpolated, reappearing next to Radek. “What if we break some and need replacements?”

“Radek said there were lots of crystals, Rodney. I just want to protect all our troops.”

“Oh, right, well… How many crystals are there?”

“Many,” Radek responded. “I have not counted. You are welcome to waste your brain doing this task, my brain is needed here.” He grinned at Rodney, clearly anticipating Rodney’s response.

“I’ll have you know that my brain is far more important than yours will ever be, Zelenka, as evidenced by all the times I’ve had to correct your work to stop you from killing us all.” Rodney paused for a moment. “I’ll get Adi to count them and do up a list.”

John rolled his eyes, but actually, this was a great job for Adi. She was getting much better at reading and writing in English, and they really didn’t need a university-trained, Ph.D-holding scientist to do stock audits.

“Are you done here?” Rodney snarked. “Can we please focus on what we came for?” He turned away, and John followed him back to his desk, settling in for a few hours of lightswitch duty.

*****  *****

It was after 2200hrs when John left the lab and headed off to do his final rounds for the night. The Control Room was quiet and he spent a few moments checking in with the gate guards, doing the ‘caring commander’ bit. There were only a few scattered scientists in the mess, and the infirmary was peaceful too. He could feel his ‘Colonel Sheppard’ mantel slipping away as he made his way to Adi’s quarters, his ‘John’ mantel wafting softly around his shoulders and settling in.

Adi glanced up sharply as the door opened, but then relaxed and gave him a gently welcoming smile as he walked into her room. She was sitting on the sofa with her needlework frame set up, a lamp glowing warmly over the canvas; she’d obviously been stitching this evening. John settled on the sofa next to her and watched her hands as they moved the needle up and down, pulling a coloured thread behind it. “I must just finish this colour, John, and then I will be free.”

“Sure, take your time,” John said, reaching forward and starting to unlace his boots. Then he froze as he realised what he was doing. After a moment of thought, he glanced nervously at Adi.

She’d stopped her stitching, needle poised mid-air, and was staring at him, her body tense. “What is wrong, John? Why did you stop so suddenly?” Her eyes were flickering around the room, looking for the threat.

“No, no. There’s nothing… I just… I mean… It…” He stopped and chewed on his bottom lip.

All the tension had dropped from Adi’s body the moment John had said there was no risk, and he knew that she’d wait for him, give him the time he needed to verbalise his thoughts.

“It–it felt… rude… to just walk in here and… well, start stripping off. I–I don’t…”

Adi placed her hand on his arm. “I was not upset, John. You are always welcome here, in my room. And if you are more comfortable with bare feet, then please, remove your boots.”

John looked at her in consternation. She hadn’t understood his quandary. He tilted his head forward and stared at the floor. If he’d learned only one thing in his marriage to Nancy, it was that honesty was paramount in any relationship, and that included emotional honesty. He didn’t want to let this miscommunication pass. But… it meant he’d have to actually open a conversation about the status of their relationship and he wasn’t sure that he could.

The thing was, Adi still hadn’t returned to the suite with him following that night when her aura had been so drained and he’d shouted at Lorne to get out of her bed. She hadn’t pushed him any further away than that, though, still happily slept with him in friendship, but he wasn’t at all sure where he stood with her. In the clearing below the waterfall, she’d said that he was incredibly important to her and she couldn’t imagine her life without him… even going so far as to say that if she decided she wanted Evan as well, she wouldn’t just take him to her bed because she knew that would upset John. But that still didn’t make him feel like he had the right to just assume he could make himself at home in her room.

Adi was still looking at him, her head tilted slightly to the side. She suddenly turned back to her needlework, stabbed the needle through the canvas, and pushed the needlework frame aside, turning out the lamp. She turned sideways on the sofa, hooked one of her legs up underneath her, the other resting on the floor, and gazed at him. “I think perhaps I misunderstood your meaning, John. Will you please explain to me why you are concerned about taking off your boots?”

“Um, well, I, um, I…” He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, then opened them and tried again. “It just suddenly felt like I… like I was assuming that I could… stay. That I was… you know… here for the... for the night, and we… well, we haven’t talked about… that, about if that’s okay, or if… if I can even just come here, like this, or–or if, if you’d prefer that I… don’t.” He looked at her then, his brow furrowed with the emotional effort that explanation had cost him.

Adi smiled softly at him. “I am always happy when you join me, John, whether it is here or on the pier. I will always welcome your company. I am glad that you feel comfortable enough with me to remove your boots. Remember, clothing was optional amongst my people.”

John nodded slowly. “Okay, so… can I… can I just… assume that I can… sleep with you?”

Adi’s smile grew. “Yes, of course, John.” She gazed at him for a moment. “Oh! You are asking if we are bonded? If there is an understanding between us that will allow you to automatically seek my bed when you are ready to rest?” She nodded gently. “In your movies, John, the romantic comedies, there is a period of time where this… closeness… must be negotiated and agreed each time, and then there is a point in the movie when it is just accepted; it is understood by each person that they are one, that they are a ‘couple’. Is this what you are seeking to clarify?”

John gulped, his hand moving unconsciously to rub the back of his neck. “Um, yeah.”

Adi smiled gently at him. “John, we have been bonded since the night I asked you to help me learn to accept intimate touch, and you told me that your feelings for me were not purely platonic. I have been yours since then but as you do not like words, I did not speak of it. It was not necessary.”

John gaped at her. “Wow. Okay. So I can…”

Adi scooped her second leg up beneath her and leaned against John’s side, her head resting softly against his shoulder. “You may enter my quarters whenever you wish, John, without knocking. You may take off all your clothes without asking my permission to do so. And you may even settle in my bed when I am not here. You are mine and I am yours, and we belong together. There are no walls between us.”

John sat for a moment, feeling quite stunned. He really hadn’t expected the conversation to go this way… although, perhaps he should’ve, after all that Adi had said at the waterfall. He turned slightly, drawing Adi properly into his arms. “Can I kiss you?” he asked tentatively, because that was something else that had disappeared these last couple of weeks, but he desperately wanted to feel her lips against his own.

Adi nodded, but moved away from his embrace. She still wasn’t ready to have John’s hands on her when she was kissing him. She stood up and stepped in front of him, between his legs, then she leaned forward, her hand resting against his cheek and brought their lips together. 

The kiss was soft and sweet, just like it had been before he’d screwed everything up, and John felt the tension that had been part of him for the past fortnight dissipating as Adi gave herself to the kiss. He’d missed this so much and he’d worried that maybe Adi would never regain her trust in him. With his hands gripping his own thighs to ensure he wouldn’t subconsciously reach for her, he let his lips play over Adi’s, letting his tongue softly – carefully – seek entrance to the warmth of her mouth.

When they finally drew apart, Adi was glowing, a contented smile wafting around her face, lighting her eyes. “That was beautiful, John,” she said softly as she straightened up. “I have missed having this with you.”

“I’m sorry for fucking up,” he blurted, feeling contrite all over again.

Adi shook her head. “It was unfortunate, but I feel it has led us to a clearer understanding of our connection. I would prefer to sleep here again tonight as I am a little tired from my stick-fighting lesson with Corporal Tobias, but I think I am ready to return to our suite… perhaps tomorrow? Oh, no, because the Daedalus will be here.” She smiled a little sadly. “When they have gone again, then.”

“Sure,” John managed, swallowing heavily at the prospect.

Adi smiled softly. “I must just finish my colour and then I will be ready to join you in the bed. Please, continue to undress as you wish, John.” And she returned to her own side of the sofa, sitting down and switching the lamp back on as she pulled her frame into position and picked up her needle.

John watched her for a few moments, feeling contentment welling up inside him. This… this relationship with Adi – it felt right. He’d never had something like this before, where he was just accepted for who he was, forgiven for all his mistakes, cherished despite being pathologically terrified of sharing his emotions. Smiling to himself, he bent forward and continued to remove his boots.

*****  *****

The Daedalus came and went, their visit disrupting normal operations on Atlantis as it always did, with the need to offload all the stores and count and distribute them; and with the influx of new personnel who needed to be orientated and situated with quarters and duties and so on… plus the fact that the city’s population swelled with all the personnel from the ship happily disembarking and enjoying the different cuisines offered in the mess, catching up with friends, and participating enthusiastically in the various activities that John and Evan arranged to allow for mixing between the expedition and the crew, and to give those who spent most of their time locked inside a tin can in space the opportunity to stretch their eyes and their bodies.

John spent a lot of the time locked in meetings with Colonel Caldwell, subjected to intense discussions over the happenings in Pegasus since the last time the Daedalus was in the neighbourhood, and being the unwilling recipient of suggestions for improvements. Caldwell had backed off in his desire to have command of Atlantis but it didn’t mean he’d decided not to meddle. John always struggled on these days, trying to ‘fit the mould’ of a US Air Force officer a little better than he did at other times.

Adi, of course, hid herself away while the Daedalus was there; eating her meals alone in her room and traversing the corridors from her quarters to the greenhouse and back in company with Stackhouse or Smithers, who were detailed by John to protect her as she moved amongst all these unfamiliar people.

But finally the Daedalus lifted off, launching from the East pier. The ship disappeared up through the atmosphere, and the city as a whole let out a relieved breath as things settled back to normal.

John swung along the corridor later that night, aiming for Adi’s room. He’d missed her in these days when Caldwell had been in the city. He was naturally reticent about letting others see his personal connection to Adi, but this privacy had taken on even more importance with the representative of the SGC in residence. John had been very careful to do nothing that might highlight his relationship with Adi.

When he’d informed Colonel Caldwell of the need for Corporal Bosman to be returned to Earth, he’d been subjected to a very uncomfortable conversation as he explained why Bosman had been kept in the Brig. Caldwell had come straight out and asked if Lorne was having sex with Adi. John had been able to respond very truthfully that, as a result of the multiple pack rapes she’d endured, Adi was leery of any sexual intent towards her, and that Evan had shared the bed with her on Capeliga for the sole purpose of keeping her safe from the marines who, with their sweat-soaked bodies, smelled of the Bola Kai.

Caldwell had accepted the explanation and accepted responsibility for Corporal Bosman, but John was left with the lingering feeling that Stargate Command would strongly prefer that their military personnel did not ‘go native’ and start sleeping with Pegasus locals. It was an uncomfortable thought. This was the first relationship John had ever been in that felt completely right for him. Adi and he fit together so perfectly and he didn’t want to give her up. But if the SGC – or the IOA – found out that the Military Commander of Atlantis was sleeping with one of their Pegasus allies, he suspected that, at the very least, it would undermine Adi’s status in their eyes, and would also cast doubt on his actions with Capeliga and with various decisions that affected the city itself. 

Setting those thoughts aside, John thought Adi’s door open as he approached, feeling a slight thrill that she was happy for him to just walk in any time. But as he entered her room, he discovered it was empty. Sighing lightly, he went to check the forest balcony. Finding that empty too, he made his way to the pier, only to find that she wasn’t there, either. Pursing his lips, John tried to think where else she might be. She’d been in self-imposed isolation for four days and, presumably, now that the Daedalus had left and the city was once again safe for her, she was out there somewhere, enjoying her freedom.

He wasn’t sure what led him to turn his steps towards the Ninja Room, but it came as no surprise when he reached the door and saw Adi about a third of the way through the course, Evan at her side. Memories of the last time he’d found them together in this room assailed him, the fear he’d felt even then that Adi was closer to Evan than he’d realised. But John had had a lot of days and nights now to come to terms with Adi’s affection for Evan, their close friendship, the support and care that existed between them, and so this time, instead of lurking in the doorway watching with distressed dismay, he walked boldly into the Ninja Room.

“So this is where you’re hiding,” he called out as he wove through the different obstacles, working his way towards them.

Evan was sitting atop a wall, legs dangling down to each side, watching as Adi carefully climbed up, reaching for handholds and ensuring her feet were balanced before pushing herself higher. He turned his head at John’s greeting and grinned at his CO. “Yep. Adi wanted to use her body after so many days of hiding from the Daedalus crew.”

Adi pulled herself up to the top of the wall and straddled it, breathing heavily. “Hello, Colonel,” she called down to him. “Major Lorne is helping me to understand how very unfit I have become.” She was laughing, her eyes crinkled with pleasure and John smiled back at her.

“Hard to stay fit when you keep to your room, Adi,” he said.

“You should join us, Sir,” Evan suggested, wanting John to be a part of this, not wanting him to feel that Evan had stolen something from him again.

Adi’s face lit. “Oh yes, you can both support my efforts.” She blew out a breath through pursed lips and turned to Evan. “I am ready to descend, Major.”

Evan lifted his leg over, got himself into position, and began the downwards climb. The bricks that stuck out further – or were missing entirely – to provide hand and foot holds, were positioned far apart, and it was a stretch for him to make his way down.

John came to stand beside him, as Adi, having watched exactly where Evan put his feet and hands, swung herself off the top of the wall and commenced her downward descent. She was much shorter than John, and somewhat shorter than Evan, and she had to reach with the tips of her toes to slide her feet onto the footholds, letting herself dangle by just her fingertips before she felt her footing firm up.

When she reached the ground she leant against Evan’s side, laughing softly to herself as she regained her equilibrium. “We came early enough to watch the marines, Colonel. They threw themselves at these obstacles and raced their way through them at great speed. It was quite exciting to see.”

“Yeah,” John said, watching her leaning on Lorne and telling his heart that this was okay. “They’re pretty fit… and very competitive.”

“Come,” she said, “I am ready to tackle the next one. Colonel, you go first, so that I may see how you approach this obstacle, and Evan can come behind me to catch me when I fall.” She was laughing as she said it, and John couldn’t help but smile at her, enjoying her self-deprecating humour. He caught Evan’s eye, a little worried that he was intruding, but Evan just raised an eyebrow as if daring him, so John set aside his concerns and joined in, becoming part of their camaraderie as they made their way through the remaining obstacles, Adi huffing and puffing and laughing, congratulating him and Evan on their strength and agility, but managing to complete every obstacle herself, her courage and determination shining through.

They were all sweaty when they jumped down from the final obstacle and Adi sighed happily. “There, I have done it twice now. But I clearly need to come more often. I am definitely losing my fitness.”

“How are your staff-fighting lessons going with Corporal Tobias?” Evan asked as they slowly made their way towards the door on the far side of the room.

“He is very patient with me and I am gaining some skill. It is not easy, but I am starting to understand the requirements of this form of fighting. I am going to try sparring with Ronon too. He has invited me to join him tomorrow evening. He runs a beginner class for the civilians who are interested.” She paused for a moment, her brow furrowing lightly as the concern she was feeling about the class made itself known. “I am not sure how I will go with an activity that requires me to let others touch my body in mock combat.”

John wasn’t sure either, and he made a mental note to sit on the sidelines and watch the class tomorrow night.

“You can stop at any time,” Evan was saying. “Just because you’re in a class, it doesn’t mean you have to stay if it makes you uncomfortable. But at least you’ll know for sure. You wanted to keep your fitness up and that’s a good way to do it.”

Adi nodded. It was true. She did want to regain the fitness she’d had when living on Capeliga. Somehow her normal daily life amongst her community had provided far more opportunities for naturally retaining fitness than her current lifestyle allowed.

They reached the transporter and John suddenly stopped. “I’ll, um, I need to do my nightly rounds,” he said awkwardly. “You guys go ahead.”

Adi gazed at him for a moment and then smiled gently. “Thank you for your company in the Ninja Room, Colonel. I enjoyed completing the course with you.” She stepped into the transporter and Evan joined her in there, looking a bit uncomfortable as the doors closed on them. When they opened again, the transporter was empty, and John stepped in and chose a random destination.

He’d already done his nightly rounds, he’d just suddenly felt really self-conscious at the thought of all three of them disgorging from the transporter into the accommodation area, and Evan seeing him and Adi walking away together towards their quarters. Huffing at his own emotional hang-ups, John waited a good ten minutes before zapping himself to the hallway where his room was, making his way down the corridor and into his quarters, heading for the bathroom.

He lingered in the shower, remembering the way Evan’s muscles had moved as he’d tackled the various obstacles. John had had a clear view of him as he’d sat atop each one, gazing down at Evan climbing up to meet him and Adi, and watching Evan’s biceps bulging as he’d pulled himself up to the top of the dangling rope obstacle and swung his way to the platform on the other side.

John’s groin tightened and he hummed a little, accepting that he wanted this, he wanted to touch himself with the images of Evan’s body in his mind. Sliding his hand down his front, he settled his palm around his partly engorged cock, closed his eyes, and let the memories of Evan’s taut muscles, his well-built frame, his cheeky grin, and the light smell of his sweat all mingle in his mind, as his cock filled and lifted away from his body, his hand tightening and starting to move with intent. He drew it out, wanting to enjoy this, wanting to feel the ghost of Evan’s hands on his body, his mind conjuring up the sensations of Evan’s firm abs and pecs pressing against his back, his arms about his waist, his hands on John’s shaft, stroking in time to kisses that he might pepper across John’s shoulders…

His orgasm, when it hit, was powerful, rocking him on his feet, and John cried out, calling Evan’s name as the semen spilled over his hand, splattering on the floor of the shower to be washed away by the tumbling water.

As he slowly let go, returning to actually washing himself, John accepted that Adi had been one hundred percent right when she’d suggested to him that he was just as jealous of Evan spending time with Adi as he was of Adi being able to spend time with Evan. His feelings for Evan hadn’t abated a single iota despite his growing connection to Adi. It was as if his mind and heart accepted that he loved them both equally… wanted them both equally.

Well, Adi he could have – to some degree – hug her, sleep with her wrapped in his arms, kiss her, lie with her in the suite as she slowly explored his body. Evan… Evan he could only have in moments like this, when he let his mind conjure up illicit thoughts of Evan’s hands on his body. A shudder ran through him as he remembered that orgasm. It’d been a good one.

John thought the water off and stepped out of the shower, drying himself off and dressing in a clean set of BDUs. He’d gotten over the embarrassment of returning to Adi’s side after fantasising about Evan. He knew that if he could bring himself to tell Adi what he’d just done, she wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, she’d probably smile at him in delight and tell him how happy she was that he could have Evan with him, even if it was only in his imagination. Her culture definitely didn’t include the possibility of jealousy over your guy taking other lovers. The Capeligans had just shared everyone around. It sounded nice actually, to not be restricted in who you could love or touch or want.

Sighing to himself, John silently made his way up the hall to Adi’s room, wondering if she’d let him take her to the suite now that the Daedalus had gone. However, when he thought the door open and stepped inside Adi’s room, he found her curled up in the bed, blissfully asleep.

“Adi, it’s John,” he said softly. “I’m in your room.”

Adi’s eyes fluttered open. “John,” she whispered sleepily, giving him a sweet smile. She lifted the sheets, silently inviting him to join her, and he did, slipping his clothes off and rolling into the bed, wrapping this precious woman in his arms and letting sleep take them both.

Chapter Text

John sat in the Senior Staff meeting the next day, listening to Rodney bring everyone up to date on the happenings in the Science Department. There was a lot to cover. Since finding the ZPM recharging facility and finally bringing Atlantis to full power, the exploration of the city had been surging ahead with two or three ‘sorties’ a fortnight, checking things out, finding new labs and devices, and seeking explanations for the ‘dark areas’ that were suddenly now drawing power, as well as the random energy signatures that were being detected in other parts of the city. Each meeting was a list of things that had been discovered and needed to be shared, and Rodney’s excited voice went on and on, as John forced himself not to let his mind wander, redirecting his attention to the matters at hand.

Eventually Rodney wrapped it up, and it was John’s turn to speak. “All gate teams have been advised of the ingredients we need to make the personal shields, so they know what to seek in trade negotiations. Stackhouse’s team has found that the Peluvians have one of the minerals we need available on their planet. They mine it in small quantities and are happy to trade with us for additional manpower to help build some new houses for their people. Lorne’ll roster that in within the next couple of weeks, so we can at least lock in that one ingredient.”

Elizabeth’s eyes were glowing with anticipation, and John smiled to see it. Being able to manufacture personal shields for all their ATA people would be a huge step forward in keeping everyone safe, and he shared Elizabeth’s excitement. Glancing back down at his data pad, he went on, “We’re going to be sending a few of the LSDs we got from Talon World through to the SGC for their ATA-positive personnel to use off-world. I’ve also asked Zelenka to make them some of the proximity alarms with the new crystals we found in the Talon World facility, so that the SGC teams could have one each.”

Elizabeth glanced at him. “Do we have enough to spare? I thought you wanted all of our own personnel to have one first.”

“I did, and they do,” John said. “We’ve already got enough for sixteen off-world personnel to carry one each. Zelenka’s made another eight for the SGC, so they can either give them to every member of two teams, or give one each to whatever teams are going off-world. That’s their business. Ours was to make it possible.” He smirked at Elizabeth, and then ended with, “And Lorne and I’ll be heading out to the ZPM recharging facility straight after this meeting with the totally depleted ZPM from Talon World. We’ll go back tomorrow to collect it, and then we can refit that one next time we’re there, and the facility will be running at full power.”

Elizabeth nodded. She’d made some notes as the meeting had progressed. So many things were happening at the moment – good things – and it was making her feel that Atlantis was finally growing into its potential. She was smiling as she dismissed the meeting. Having three ZPMs powering Atlantis had made for a lot of exciting discoveries, including new parts of the database coming online. She glanced at the time, seeing that she had half an hour before she was expected in the linguistics department. They’d unearthed some instructions for the latest lab the exploration parties had found and wanted her input to ensure they had the translation correct.

Elizabeth was smiling as she headed for the mess for a quick snack. Things were definitely looking up.

***** *****

The visit to the ZPM recharging facility was a bit more involved than John had intimated in the meeting. He and Lorne had discussed the possibility of them being unexpectedly trapped there if for any reason the gate refused to dial out. They’d both felt it was enough of a risk that Evan had requisitioned food supplies to last them a full six weeks in case the worst happened and they had to wait for the Daedalus to come and beam them out.

Consequently, they were both wearing heavy backpacks as they stood before the gate, waiting for Amelia to dial. The wormhole settled and the MALP rumbled through the event horizon. Even though they’d been there several times already, given that the facility was built completely inside a mountain with no escape route aside from the gate, John felt that it was prudent to always ensure it was fully intact and free of threats before stepping through.

“It’s all clear, Sir,” Amelia called out. “No life signs, same environmental readings as always.”

“Thanks, Sergeant,” John called back, then he turned to Lorne, raised his eyebrows in invitation, and walked through the shimmer of blue.

The facility felt as empty as it had the other times, and John felt the same frisson of discomfort in being there. Despite having found amazing resources in this place – resources that could mean the difference between survival and disaster for the expedition – it still felt very uncomfortable to be trapped so deeply inside a mountain. The air was almost motionless and there was no noise at all.

John turned to Evan, seeing him looking as unruffled as ever, and wondered if it bothered him at all, the isolation, the emptiness… John knew he wouldn’t ask though. That way lay emotions, and John wasn’t going there.

“Come on then,” he said, and headed for the door that led to the living quarters. Dumping his backpack at the entrance, he heard Evan doing the same as he moved along to the ZPM recharging room. Having already successfully recharged several ZPMs without incident, Rodney had decided there was no danger in John and Evan being in the facility while the ZPMs were actively being refilled, regardless of how full or empty they were when they started. Seating the ZPM into the socket, John sat at the console and brought up the diagnostic screen, activating the recharging process with the ease of practice.

Smirking at Evan, he stood and stretched. The backpacks had been heavy, and his shoulders had objected to the load. Still, the contents could well mean the difference between life and death.

“Are we going to unpack, Sir, or just leave everything as is?” Evan asked as he followed John back out into the entry concourse. The thought of being trapped here, alone with John, wasn’t nearly as scary as he thought it was meant to be.

“Let’s get it all set up,” John replied, “you know, pick bedrooms, stock the kitchen.” He smirked and Evan smiled lightly, imagining picking just one bedroom for the both of them, but he quickly crushed the thought and, sighing lightly at his misfortune in falling for two people that he could never have, grabbed his backpack up and followed John along the short hallway to the living quarters.

It didn’t take them long to get set up. The MREs, power bars, and Athosian long-life hunting supply bars that were made from a mix of berries, nuts, and animal fat, were quickly packed into the cupboards in the kitchen. They chose a room each and dumped their bedding roughly in place. There was no point in actually making up the beds until they were needed. The beds were a good size though, nicely large enough for two, and for a brief moment John wondered if he and Evan would end up having to share a bed if the facility lost power completely and there was no heating. He shoved the thought aside, totally unaware that his XO was in the room next door, having the same salacious considerations.

John had been struggling in recent weeks to keep Evan at arm’s length, where he was meant to be. After all the unpleasantness he’d caused by shouting at Evan the night he’d discovered him in Adi’s bed, they’d been slowly getting back onto an even footing. But there was an added dimension to their relationship now, and it was because of Adi. It was because John now knew how Evan felt about Adi, and he also knew how Adi felt about Evan – and that meant John was well aware that Adi was going to fall in love with Evan, and probably sooner rather than later. There was literally nothing to stop her, and Evan was a genuinely fantastic guy. And that was creating other problems for John.

Ever since Adi had healed John’s aura, he’d been much more aware of his emotions, more aware of what he was feeling and for whom. Having the types of feelings he had for Lorne was really awkward given their command relationship, but Adi was always talking about, and actively demonstrating, her life philosophy of ‘love everyone’, ‘hold nothing back’, and ‘no love is forbidden or wrong’, and John had found himself starting to think that way too, starting to see that loving Evan was just as acceptable as loving Adi.

It was getting harder and harder to suppress his feelings for Lorne – just consider the increasing frequency with which phantom-Evan joined John in the shower! John used to avoid using thoughts of his XO when he was alone and engaging in personal activities of that nature, but recently he’d found himself succumbing more and more often, and he was quite sure that was due to Adi’s influence.

If he and Evan were ever trapped alone in this underground facility, just the two of them for days or weeks, waiting for rescue to come zooming through the stars from Earth… well. John wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to hold his emotions in check and not let even a sliver of them show.

Shaking his head, John looked around. Everything they could reasonably unpack now, was unpacked. The ZPM was doing its thing in the other room. They should get back to Atlantis; they’d need to come back in eighteen hours or so to collect the full ZPM, but for now, there were other duties that needed their attention.

Gathering Evan with a look, John led the way out of the living quarters, and dialled the gate. The moment the green confirmation light showed on his GDO he stepped through the wormhole, Lorne on his heels, as they returned to Atlantis.

***** *****

That evening, John made his way down to the gym after dinner, wanting to watch Ronon’s beginner’s class. Well, really, he just wanted to make sure Adi was okay, but taking an interest in the progress of the civilians on base was a good cover.

Over the course of ten minutes or so, while John stood to one side, chatting with Ronon and asking how it was going, six scientists made their way into the room and started to warm up. John was moving across to the side of the room to take a seat on the benches, when Adi came in. She saw him and smiled in relief, her feet stuttering a little as she stopped herself from coming to his side and, instead, headed for the mat in the middle of the room where the other students were now gathering.

Adi was feeling quite unsure about participating in this class, but Ronon had been very keen to include her, and it was true that she had been wanting to find ways to use her body. The stale-sweat smell in the room ruffled her equanimity, just a little, but she moved to stand with the other civilians, trying to disregard it. She turned her attention to Ronon, following him through a series of body moves designed to warm the main muscle groups, and then watched as he brought one of the scientists – Dr Arnaud, with whom Adi had visited the underwater reef some time ago – out to the front of the class and used her to demonstrate the move he wanted to teach them.

It was a defensive move. When Ronon tried to strike her, his hand flat as if chopping at her neck, Dr Arnaud was to step off the line of his attack and use Ronon’s momentum to bring him to the ground. Adi watched, memorising the steps in the move as it was repeated several times, and then Ronon returned Dr Arnaud to the group and told them to pair up. Adi waited, watching as the other six students paired off. And then Ronon appeared in front of her.

“I’ll be your partner, Adi,” he said, his gruff voice gentle. He reached out his hands and positioned her body the way he wanted it; but despite her familiarity with Ronon, the strength of their friendship, the comfort of his matching aura, and the fact that she knew he would never hurt her, when he brought his arm down towards her, his hand leading the striking manoeuvre, Adi not only stepped off the line but stepped well away, backing up, her arms lifted in a gesture of defence as her body stiffened in fear.

Ronon stopped immediately, and John, watching from the sidelines, tensed as Ronon carefully approached her. “You’re safe, Adi. It’s okay.”

Adi nodded jerkily, dropping her arms and taking a step towards Ronon. “Please try it again, Ronon,” she said softly, determined to get through this class, to participate as all the other civilians were doing so easily.

This time, when Ronon moved his arm towards her even more slowly, Adi responded appropriately, stepping off the line and bringing Ronon to the mat. They repeated the move a couple of times before Ronon left her alone while he went to correct a couple of the other students. Adi took the chance to just breathe in and out, resettling herself within her skin. She had suspected this would be difficult, but it was proving to be even harder than she had thought.

Glancing to the side, Adi saw John’s eyes on her, a look of understanding and support on his face. She swallowed and looked away. She would like nothing more right now than to walk straight into John’s arms and lose herself in his embrace, feel his aura meshing with her own and calming her distress. But that wasn’t possible. She knew it wasn’t possible. John would hate to be exposed in that fashion. He wasn’t there for her support, he was simply watching the civilians he was responsible for gaining skills to defend themselves. She drew a few more breaths, then turned her attention back to Ronon where he was explaining another manoeuvre.

The class proceeded, but Adi became more and more unsettled as the minutes ticked by. She hid it, holding the discomfort inside, trying to do exactly what Ronon was asking, but the scientists were not a very fit bunch and the exercise was causing them to sweat. At the point where Adi, moving as needed to bring Ronon to the mat, actually bumped up against the middle-aged anthropologist – Dr Smeedon – who was doing the same thing with his partner, her control snapped.

Dr Smeedon was sweating heavily, the armpits of his shirt darkened with moisture, and the odour emanating from him was very noticeable. The collision had unbalanced him and he reached for Adi, intending only to prevent himself from falling, but Adi’s mind threw her back to her torment with the Bola Kai and the threat that this man represented, and she reacted instantly.

She lifted her arms and flung them wide to dislodge his hands from where they were gripping her, then thrust her full weight at him, shoving against his hips and tumbling him to the floor.

He lay on the ground staring up at her, stunned at her reaction, as Adi took enormous gulps of air, trying to get control of her emotions. And then John was there, at her side, and Ronon was stepping in front of her, shielding her from the group as he congratulated her skills in taking down an unexpected assailant.

“You’re okay, Adi,” John whispered softly, his words hidden by Ronon’s voice.

Adi nodded jerkily, her arms bound tightly about her waist. The downed scientist was getting to his feet with Ronon’s help, and Adi took a step towards him. “I am sorry,” she said, her voice shaky. “I hope you are not injured.”

“No, no,” Dr Smeedon said. “That was very impressive. I hope one day to reach the same level of skill as you have.” He smiled gently at her, and Adi tried to smile back. It wasn’t very successful. She took a step backwards, and then another.

Ronon instructed the class to continue with the exercise and then turned to her. “I think maybe group work isn’t gonna be okay for you, Adi.”

Adi shook her head, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I think perhaps any close combat work will not be suitable for me, Ronon. But I thank you for offering to teach me.” She smiled tremulously and then turned and walked out of the room, John at her side.

There was a group of marines in the hallway coming towards them, sweat glistening on their faces and forearms as they jostled each other in teasing fashion, and Adi tensed, moving to flatten herself against the wall as they passed. They noticed her and cut off their teasing, passing her quietly, nodding to John deferentially as they went.

Then they were gone, and Adi drew a few deep breaths. “I wish to visit the garden on the pier, John.” She was feeling very shaken and the need for nature was rising strongly through her.

“Okay,” he said softly, and walked beside her as they made their way to the transporter, and then out onto the pier where the marines had built the garden for Adi. ‘Good thing, too,’ John thought as he watched Adi slow her steps, breathing in the scent of grass and water and trees. There was a bit of a breeze whipping about the pier, rustling the leaves on the bushes and trees, and he could see how this would be a calming place to come, allowing Adi the chance to pacify her nerves and resettle herself.

The gardens had finally been made available to everyone a week before. Dr Parrish had sent out an email saying the ground cover had taken to its new habitat very well and anyone could now use the area as they wished – but it still seemed pretty deserted here tonight.

Adi had kicked off her shoes as soon as they’d arrived, moving to wander slowly along the pathways that meandered through the area, the feel of bare earth beneath her feet helping to ground her as John paced silently at her side. Eventually she stopped on the main lawn and stood, arms tightly wound around her waist, gazing at the little waterfall and the pond where the brightly coloured fish were probably sleeping. Turning to John, she gazed at him. She was feeling a little more settled now, the soft sounds and smells of nature wrapping around her and calming her down. “I would very much like to share a hug with you, John, if you would like that… I do not believe there is anyone else here at this time to see us.”

John nodded, grateful as always for Adi’s willingness to shelter their connection. He carefully moved closer and drew Adi slowly into his arms. She wasn’t melting into his body as she usually did, but she wasn’t holding her distance either. Good. That probably meant she wasn’t too traumatised.

Several minutes passed as they stood there together by the cascade, the soft sounds of the water falling over the rocks a counterpoint to their own heartbeats, and eventually Adi lifted her head and took a half step back. “Thank you, John.” She smiled up at him. “Thank you for coming to the class. I am very glad that you were there.”

“You know,” John said conversationally, “you were worried that you’d’ve lost your edge, that you weren’t keeping your fitness up. But I don’t think you need to worry about that. You reacted pretty damn effectively to Dr Smeedon.”

A shiver ran through Adi’s body, and she slid her arms about her body again. “It is instinctive, I think, to perceive a threat and to react.” She stepped closer to the cascade, wanting to hear the soothing sounds of the water running across the rocks. “I did not stop to consider who it was, or why they were touching me, John. I just reacted. That cannot be considered a good thing.”

“In combat, there’s no time to stop and consider, Adi. Reacting on instinct can be the difference between life and death.”

Adi nodded, acknowledging the point. She sighed. “I do not think I will be able to learn the skills that Ronon teaches. I cannot be that close to people who are trying to attack me, over and over again. Not anymore.”

There was silence for a moment as John moved to stand beside her, reaching down and taking her hand in his, weaving their fingers together.

Adi squeezed his hand, grateful for the comfort of his presence. “John, do you think it would be acceptable if I used the garden each evening at sunset? I would like to return to the forms of my people. We met often to practice what I think you would call a martial art. It can be used for defence, and that is certainly how I learned it, but it is also possible to just make the movements alone, to keep the muscles ready and to retain the skills to respond to any threats." She tilted her head up to his, hoping to see him approving her idea.

"I think that’d be fine,” John responded easily. “The garden’s here for anyone to use however they want, Adi. And that sounds like a really reasonable thing to do here.”

Adi nodded. She squeezed his hand again and then unlinked their fingers and let go. “I am grateful that you have stayed with me, John, but I do not wish to keep you from whatever duties you have this evening. I shall spend a little more time here, in the serenity of this glade, and then I shall gather my bedding and sleep on the pier. I need nature around me tonight.”

“Okay,” John responded, knowing he needed to check in with Rodney in the labs to keep going through the tech they’d found on Talon World, and then do his nightly rounds as well – and he should probably find Ronon and let him know Adi was all right.  “You okay out here on your own? I could, um—” He broke off, steeling himself to make the offer. “I could… call Lorne, to come and just… be here with you.”

Adi lifted her head, her eyes meeting John’s. “Oh, John, that is…” She huffed out a small breath, a smile lighting her face. “No, I do not need you to call Evan, but I thank you for being willing to do so.” She smiled softly at him, and John swallowed, seeing the joy on her face at his acceptance of her friendship with his XO.

“Right then, I’ll leave you to it. Can I… can I come out to the pier, later, or do you… do you want to just be alone for the night?”

“I would welcome your company, John. I sleep best when your arms are wrapped about me, and the sound of your heartbeat follows me into my dreams.”

John gazed at her for a moment, and then nodded a little dazedly. “Right, okay. I’ll see you in a bit,” he said as he turned and left her there in the garden, a warm feeling wrapping around his heart.

***** *****

When John returned to the gym to give Ronon an update on Adi’s wellbeing, he found him standing in the hallway talking to Major Lorne.

“She okay?” Ronon asked as John approached.

“Yeah, she’s out in the garden, but she’s pretty calm again now.”

“Didn’t think it’d affect her that badly.”

“She said it was too much, people trying to attack her. But I suspect the smell of sweat didn’t help.” John grimaced slightly.

“She took Smeedon down pretty easily. Don’t think she needs my help much anyway.”

John smiled at that. “No, maybe not. She’s decided she’ll do her own thing – something her people did – instead.”

Ronon nodded and disappeared back into the training room, and John was left standing with Lorne.

Evan shifted restlessly on his feet, not wanting to ask, but desperately wanting to know if Adi was really okay. He’d come down to see the end of the class, to find out how Adi had fared, but by the time he arrived she was long gone.

John gazed at Lorne’s face, seeing the worry he was trying to hide. Taking pity on him, he spoke softly. “She’s okay, Lorne. She’s just resting in the garden. I, um… I actually offered to… to radio you, to stay with her… but she, um… she said she was all right.”

Evan’s face lit with a sudden smile and he caught John’s eyes. “Thank you, Sir. I appreciate that you made the offer.”

John huffed out a half breath, his eyebrows twitching a little in self-mockery. “Yeah, well, I’ve taken your words to heart, Lorne. She, um, she does need more than… just me.” Suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed by the direction the conversation had taken, John nodded jerkily at Evan then pivoted sharply on his heel and headed for the transporter. He still wasn’t completely sanguine about Adi’s close friendship with his XO, but he had at least accepted that one day soon she was going to want more from him than just a hug.

He pressed his finger against the back wall of the transporter, selecting the science labs, and once the transporter had disgorged him on that level, he walked along towards the sounds of Rodney and Radek having a very loud conversation.

He leaned against the edge of the doorway for a while, just watching them and enjoying the show. They were arguing over some simulation or other, Radek defending his perspective and Rodney running rough-shod over the top of him. Eventually, when Rodney’s sniping looked like it was starting to get to Radek, John cleared his throat. “So,” he drawled, “did you need me, or shall I leave you to your ‘discussion’.” He smirked at Rodney, who had twisted around and was glaring at him.

“You’re late! Get in here. We have things to do, and if you don’t bother to turn up we can’t do them!”

John’s smirk widened. “Aw, McKay. It’s always nice to feel needed.”

Rodney huffed and pointed his finger to the spare stool beside his lab bench and John sauntered across and sat.

“What’ve you got for me tonight?”

A box of gadgets appeared in front of him and John leaned forward and picked one up, holding it for a moment to get a feel for what it might be before thinking ‘on’. It lit up and he winced as it started to make a god-awful noise of crashing cymbals and drums. “Recording device for live music,” he said as he frantically thought ‘off’ at it. “I don’t much like the Ancient’s concept of music,” he complained as silence descended over the lab.

“God, no!” Rodney exclaimed as he picked up the device and tossed it into the box marked ‘Useless’. He swung back to his computer to make some notes about it, and John took the chance to relax, leaning back on the lab stool, picking his feet off the floor and trying to balance himself outstretched. He was still trying when Rodney picked the next device out of the ‘To Try’ box and thrust it towards him. Sighing softly, John resumed an upright posture and reached for it.

***** *****

It was late by the time John was finally finished in the lab with Rodney, and he made his way swiftly through the city, checking that all was well. The night guards in the gate room were debating the finer points of ice hockey, and Amelia was playing Minesweeper on her computer. She gave him a welcoming smile as he came in, but flicked her attention straight back to the screen.

There were a few marines in the mess, laughing together and John thought they’d probably been running the Ninja course and still had the adrenaline pumping through their systems.

Thinking what a good idea that Ninja course had been, John made his quiet way out to the south-west pier, ready to bed down there with Adi and wrap her in his arms so his heartbeat could follow her into her dreams. That thought made him smile.

He could see her lying in her blanket nest, staring up at the stars, and he called out to let her know he was there. She sat up and disengaged the alarm, resetting it as he came closer and lying back down.

“How are you feeling?” John asked as he sat down on the blankets, gazing down at her.

“I feel calm, John. I sat in the garden until the distress had left my body, and then I came here. It is very soothing to watch the stars in the sky. I feel very small in comparison.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” John said, leaning forward to unlace and remove his boots. He tucked them underneath a fold of blanket, not wanting them to get bedewed, and then shifted around until he was snuggled up with Adi, his arms around her as they gazed up at the night sky together.

After a few minutes, Adi shifted a little against him. “John?” she asked, her voice soft and uncertain.

“Yeah?” he responded, tilting his head down a little to look at her, wondering what was bothering her.

“I do not wish to let what happened earlier derail my progress with intimacy,” Adi said a little tentatively. “I know that we are not in our suite, but I wondered…” Her voice trailed away, and John could feel the tension in her frame.

“What do you want, Adi? If I can give it to you I will.”

Adi sighed gently, nestling a little closer. “I would like to kiss you, John. I have greatly missed the feel of your lips against mine, and I would like to do this, but… I do not wish for anything more. Not tonight. Just… kissing.” She shifted backwards, leaving a gap between their bodies as she lifted her head off his chest and upwards to meet his eyes. “Would this be possible, John? Do you feel that you would like to do this with me? Now? Here? Tonight?”

John’s heart was thrumming in his chest, and he had to use all his might to contain the enthusiastic ‘Hell yeah!’ that wanted to come bursting out of him. Because he’d missed kissing Adi, too. He’d missed the beginnings of intimacy that they’d shared, and he’d missed the chance to be more to her than just a comfortable bedmate. Taking a careful breath, he said, “I would, Adi. I’d like that very much.”

Her face lit with joy, and then fell a little. “What shall we do with your hands, John? We are lying here, and I am not sure…”

“Do you remember, in the suite, after I gave you the shoulder massage? I had the back of one of my hands resting against your shoulder while we… while we were… kissing, and the other was on the bed, behind you. Would that work?”

Adi’s brow furrowed a little as she clearly cast her mind back to that night, several weeks ago, when she’d been scared of John’s hands, and so had insisted he must touch her to help her grow accustomed to them. Eventually she nodded, and her face cleared. “Yes, let’s do that.”

Lifting herself a little, she settled against John’s chest, her face poised above his own, and John slowly lifted his hand up, turning it around so the back of it was just touching her shoulder, a small point of contact.

Adi smiled down at him, then slowly lowered herself until their lips met. She soon lost herself in the sweet ecstasy, and they lay there together for many minutes, their mouths moving against one another’s, their tongues speaking the universal language that exists between lovers.

Slowly, Adi drew back. “That was beautiful, John,” she said softly, and her voice was full of wonder. “Thank you for being so gentle with me.” She slid backwards a little, ending up curled against his side once more, her head resting where she could hear his heartbeat, her hand lying on his chest.

John reached down and kissed the top of her head. “You, um… you make it very easy to–to be gentle, Adi. I, uh, I enjoyed it too.”

Adi drew a deeply contented breath and settled against him. His heart warm within his chest, John drew the blankets up a little higher, snuggling a little closer, as sleep slowly crept over them.

***** *****

Evan was sitting in his office late the following morning, working on some necessary roster alterations while he waited for the Colonel to join him for their regular strategic planning meeting.

The rosters had been all but ready for the Colonel’s approval, but Corporal Dale had broken his wrist during a football match on the east pier the afternoon before, and Corporal Walliston – their friendly carpentry-skilled marine – had developed a nasty bout of gastro after eating some of the new fruits brought back by Sergeant Stackhouse’s team from their latest off-world mission. Within the hour, seven more personnel had reported to the infirmary with the same reaction. In addition, he now needed to roster a sizeable team of marines to build houses on Peluvia to enable them to trade for the mineral needed for the personal shields.

He was deep in thought when John came through the door, a carafe of coffee and a plate of savory muffins in his hands.

“Oh, you’re a lifesaver, Sir,” Evan said, dropping his pencil and reaching out his hand to take the plate of goodies.

John smirked. “Yeah, I know. It’s one of my many great qualities,” he said, setting the coffee down on the desk. He quickly reached for both coffee mugs and filled them, pushing Evan’s towards him as he dragged his chair around to Evan’s side of the desk. “All right. What’ve we got?”

Evan explained the loss of personnel and the additional duties that needed to be included, and he and John worked on the rosters for a good half hour before John slumped back in his seat with a sigh. “I really wish the SGC would pull their finger out and get us a new Lieutenant or two. We really need another team to be available for regular off-world missions.”

“It’s a shame Lieutenant Chambers decided not to return,” Evan said sadly. “I realise it would’ve been incredibly hard, given the horrors of their last mission, but he was an excellent officer and a good fit for Atlantis.”

John nodded. “Yeah. But losing a team member that way? And actually being hung?” He shuddered. “I wasn’t surprised none of them wanted to come back. But we really need someone.”

“Hmm,” Evan mused, “Sergeant Timmons handled the aftermath of the explosion in exemplary fashion, Sir. I realise he’s a Combat Engineer, but we all have to double up on our duties here. There’s no possibility of people sticking just to their own discipline.”

John nodded slowly. “I read his reports. Very thorough. Okay, let’s schedule him in to lead the mission to Peluvia for the house building. That’ll be right up his alley anyway, and give him some broader leadership experience with a trusted ally.”

Evan smiled as he made the changes to the schedule in front of him. There was a very good computer program available for rostering of personnel, but Evan much preferred having a pencil and paper and writing things out the old-fashioned way. It seemed to make more sense to his mind to have it laid out in front of him like this, and the Colonel had never objected.

With the corrections finally finished, Evan turned to the computer to upload and release the approved rosters, while John took the empty plate and carafe to return to the mess. From there, he headed to the Ninja Room. The gate-rated civilians had a compulsory session every week to try and complete the course, and the duty of overseeing them – and guiding and supporting them through the obstacles – was shared amongst himself, Lorne, and Stackhouse.

John didn’t mind this duty, finding a sense of satisfaction in helping the civilian members of the expedition to increase their fitness and skills. Any one of them might find themselves in difficulties off-world, and maybe the ability to run across a narrow wooden bridge, or scale a cliff face, might just save their life – or the lives of their team.

Dr Pinot called him over to the horizontal cargo net, asking for a demonstration of the correct way to navigate the obstacle, and John happily lowered himself to his stomach and started crawling. He could hear the civilians making comments to one another as he wiggled his way forward, but it didn’t really bother him. He needed them to learn, and whatever their motivation was, it was fine with him.

John had just made it to the far end, his head and shoulders finally free of the netting, when there was a sudden squawk over the radio. He barely even had time to wince before a panicked voice was shrieking in his ear,

“Oh my God! It’s going to blow! The power’s building up and it won’t stop…”

A surge of adrenaline shot through him and he leapt to his feet, racing towards the door as he snapped, “Who is this? Where’s the problem?”

“Um, it’s, it’s Dr Spradek, and it’s one of the jumpers… I was just doing some maintenance and it’s— Oh my God! We need to get everyone out!”

“Chuck!” John shouted as he ran for the transporter. “Issue a base-wide evacuation alert and dial the Alpha site.”

“Yes, Sir,” Chuck responded, his voice calm amidst the continued panic of Dr Spradek.

Rodney was on the radio now too, trying to get Spradek to calm down enough to explain what’d happened, but John disregarded it all, realising that with that much terror in his voice, Spradek wasn’t going to be able to help. The only chance was to get the jumper to a safe distance before it blew.

He raced into the Jumper Bay to see Spradek and another civilian frantically trying to do something inside the back of Jumper Nine.

“It’s no good!” Spradek was babbling into the radio. “It’s going to blow in less than two minutes, McKay! It’s going to engulf the other jumpers and the force of the explosion will take out the whole tower! I can’t stop it!”

“You two! Get out of the jumper!” John shouted as he ran up to them. “Get to the gate room, now! GO!” And as the scientists turned and fled, John threw himself into the pilot seat and thought the roof hatch open.

He could feel the dissonance in the jumper’s controls. It was sluggish and not wanting to obey him, but he pushed against it with his mind, forcing the jumper up, up through the open iris into the blue of the sky, and then forward, away from the city.

He could feel the pressure mounting inside the jumper’s wiring, the sense of ‘wrong’ spiralling up, out of control, and even as he pushed the little ship forward to get as far from the city as possible, he knew there were only seconds to go before the whole thing exploded!

Chapter Text

Evan had been reading through a pile of mission reports destined for the SGC, when the emergency calls had come over the radio.

He leapt to his feet and hurried out to the Control Room where Chuck was issuing the evacuation orders. With tension gripping him, he jogged straight past Chuck to Elizabeth’s office, sticking his head inside long enough to gesture urgently at her to come, and then ran down the staircase with her, directing her through the gate without ceremony, as a stream of civilian and military personnel started to arrive.

The marines were pushing trolleys loaded with ammunition and food supplies, just as they’d been trained, and the scientists had their arms full of whatever it was they’d grabbed as they ran from the labs. Seeing Sergeant Coughlin approaching at the run, a trolley of P-90 ammo rolling smoothly in front of him, Evan called out to him. “Coughlin, assume command on the other side,” and as the Sergeant acknowledged the order, Evan ran back up the stairs to Chuck’s console.

Chuck’s screen was split in two – one side showing the jumper’s trajectory away from the city, and the other monitoring the jumper’s readouts.

Evan’s heart lurched in his chest as he watched the needle edging into the red and continuing to rise. He swallowed heavily, his breath coming in short gasps as the reality of the jumper actually exploding settled into his soul. John was aboard that jumper, trying his hardest to get it as far from Atlantis as possible before it exploded… And when it did…! Oh God!

Evan’s mouth was dry as he watched the needle hit critical—and then there was a sudden flash of white on the far side of the screen, and the trajectory map instantly faded to nothing…

The shockwave from the explosion hit the tower then, a visceral rippling against the strength of the walls, and three of the windows behind the Stargate shattered, the glass shards flying out into the crowd as people screamed in shock. But the tower itself didn’t fall, and the shockwave had passed them now.

Chuck turned his eyes up to meet Evan’s, his voice shaky as he said, “It worked. What the Colonel did…”

“Scan the water, Chuck,” Evan said, his voice as steady as he could make it, despite his racing heartbeat, despite the desperate ache in his soul. “Check for a life sign.”

Chuck turned back to his screen and pulled up the life signs scan, knowing there was no point. “The explosion’s knocked out the sensors, Sir. It’ll be a few minutes before they come back online.”

Evan’s jaw locked as he tried to get his shocked mind to focus. “I’m going to take a jumper and do a visual check, Chuck.” His voice started to speed up as his military training took over. “Radio me if you see anything. Get medical personnel to the gate room, and you can cancel the evacuation now and recall everyone.”

Evan heard Chuck’s voice over the citywide radio calling off the evacuation order as he moved swiftly to the railing, calling out for volunteers from amongst the marines milling on the gate room floor to join him immediately in the Jumper Bay.

He ran then, up the stairs and along the hall, boarding the closest jumper, not bothering to take the extra few seconds to reach his favourite one. If John had managed to survive the blast he could be drowning in the water right now, knocked unconscious, dreadful internal injuries, limbs blown off…

Evan viciously shut down that line of thinking. He needed to get his head in the game and stop thinking with his emotions. A member of their Expedition had been involved in an explosion and may have survived. He needed to perform search and rescue, nothing else mattered.

The ramp started to close as the last of the volunteer marines finished boarding, and Evan lifted the jumper up through the roof hatch into the bright sunshine, heading directly along the path taken by the rogue jumper.

The debris field was visible almost immediately, shredded metal and chunks of ship floating on the surface, and Evan’s heart was in his mouth as he pushed the jumper closer, leaning forward, his eyes searching, searching, searching…

His stomach muscles were clenched so hard it hurt, as his eyes roved desperately back and forth, trying to see through the wreckage for anything… anything at all to suggest where John might be, any sign that John had survived the explosion.

As the seconds passed, Evan felt himself going numb inside. The only noise was the soft hum of the jumper engine, the marines clustered against the front console standing tense and mute as they joined in the desperate hunt… but there was nothing to see but the ruffled tips of the waves and the scattered bits of the exploded jumper…

And then, there!

There was a… a body… but not a body, there was a head bobbing, an arm waving…

Evan let out an undignified whimper at the sight. He shut his eyes for a second, letting the cascading torrent of desperate relief wash through him. Then he rapidly lowered the jumper down, down, down to the surface of the water, dropping the back hatch and calling out to the marines to be prepared to perform a water rescue.

He needn’t have bothered. The marines were well aware of the stakes, and they already had a rope out and knotted around their chosen representative, buoyancy vests ready to deploy, and the first aid kit open and available for the moment the Colonel was brought aboard.

Evan lowered the jumper to the very surface of the water, bringing it to a stop just metres from where Colonel Sheppard’s life sign was now pinging on the HUD, a visual proof-of-life that had Evan feeling lightheaded with relief. He listened to the chatter of the marines as Corporal Rogers slithered into the water and splashed his way across to the Colonel.

Swinging around in his chair, Evan could see Sheppard being pulled aboard. He was shivering violently, his clothing shredded, water-soaked blood streaks trickling across his skin, but he was conscious and breathing, and even pushing himself upright, as water cascaded off him.

Corporal Rogers was helped back on board, and the moment he’d cleared the ramp, Evan thought the hatch closed, lifting the jumper straight up and spearing back towards Atlantis. The Colonel needed urgent medical care and Evan was going to make sure he got it as quickly as humanly possible.

The marines were busy assessing John’s condition, but Evan was obliged to let the conversation behind him fade out of his consciousness as he radioed Atlantis to ask for a medical team to be waiting in the Jumper Bay. He could hear the joy in Chuck’s voice as he acknowledged the request, and felt the same degree of joy in his own chest, but it was fighting the flood of adrenaline from the terror he’d felt when he’d seen that explosion. Fuck! That’d been close. So very, very close.

Behind him the marines were stripping John to his skin and wrapping him in a silver survival blanket, but Evan was concentrating on bringing the jumper in to land in the Bay, settling softly on the floor and opening the back hatch.

They were back. John was safe. Nothing else mattered.

***** *****

Adi had been alone in the greenhouse, happily mixing up a new batch of fertiliser to use on the fruit trees, when Dr Parrish suddenly thrust his head through the door and shouted, “Adi! We have to evacuate the base! Hurry!”

She gasped in shock, dropping the trowel she was holding and running towards the door, her heart pattering in her chest as she wondered what had happened. Was John safe? Was Evan? Ronon? Matthew? All her friends?

“What has happened?” she asked breathlessly as she caught up to Dr Parrish.

“One of the jumpers is about to explode! We’ve been ordered to evacuate!”

Parrish led the way and Adi followed close behind him, knowing that it would take several minutes for them to reach the gate room. The greenhouse was located far from the centre of activity in Atlantis.

“Is Dr McKay trying to stop it?” she asked as they ran, but Parrish shook his head.

“No time. The Colonel’s trying to fly it away from the city, let it explode over the ocean.”

Adi came to a complete stop, her eyes wide. “No!” she gasped in horror, and Parrish gave her a compassionate look, reaching out to take her arm. “Come on, Adi, we have to go!”

She let him lead her on towards the gate room, but her mind was in turmoil. If the jumper needed to be flown to safety, then clearly John would be the one piloting it. She knew that was exactly what he would do, putting his own life in jeopardy so that everyone else would have a chance to survive, but her heart rebelled at losing him so soon… too soon. They had barely even started to explore what was between them. No!

Tears were glistening in her eyes as they finally reached the gate room, but even as they were running towards the shimmering pool of blue, a tremor hit the tower, the vibration running through the floor and the walls, shattering the windows, and Adi gasped, her heart clenching painfully in her chest as she realised it was the shock wave from the explosion.

But then Evan was leaning over the balcony shouting for marines to come to the Jumper Bay, and Adi pulled away from Dr Parrish and turned her steps to follow them. They ran much faster than she, and the jumper was gone by the time she arrived, so Adi sank down against the wall and curled her arms around her legs, shaking slightly, nausea settling low in her belly at the thought that John was dead, blown apart with the jumper, his body scattered over the ocean in such tiny pieces that Evan would be unable to find even a trace of him.

The tears were flowing down her face as Ronon and Teyla appeared in the Jumper Bay. Teyla saw her and came immediately to her side. “They have found him, Adi,” she said urgently. “He is aboard the jumper and they are bringing him back. He is alive.”

“Oh!” Adi cried tearfully, clambering to her feet. “I had not thought it possible.”

“Sheppard’s always doing stuff like this,” Ronon said, holding out his arms to Adi. She tumbled forward into his embrace, mindlessly accepting the comfort he was offering, as Teyla said, “It is true that Colonel Sheppard has often flown what he calls, ‘suicide runs’, only to survive against all odds.”

Adi let the conversation wash over her as she assimilated the fact that John had survived. He was alive. He was returning to the city.

And then Dr Beckett and his team came running into the bay, and Dr Weir, already returned from the Alpha site, was only a moment behind them…

Adi pulled away from Ronon and surreptitiously wiped her tears, not wanting people to wonder why she was so distressed. John wished to keep their connection private, and she would do nothing to jeopardise that.

Tilting her head up, Adi watched as the jumper slowly descended through the roof hatch and came to rest on the floor of the Bay. The back hatch lowered and the medical team surged forward.

They couldn’t get near though. The marines were exiting and there were just too many people milling around for Adi to get close, but she saw John, wrapped in a silver blanket, being helped down the ramp by his men, and Dr Beckett, frowning slightly, ushering him towards a gurney, muttering under his breath about backboards and neck braces.

John’s expression was a mixture of pain and incredulous relief. He couldn’t believe that he’d survived that. He really had thought this was the end, but then he’d jumped at the last second – from a stupid height – being struck by bits of the exploding jumper and plummeting into the ocean, sure he would drown before he could resurface. But he’d managed to hold his breath long enough to get back up and draw in huge lungfuls of air. The air had been searingly hot though, John having bobbed up in the middle of the debris field, and he’d been bleeding from the injuries he’d sustained. Nonetheless, he’d managed to tread water, waiting for his people to realise he’d survived and come to collect him.

Adi was standing to the back, out of the way of all the Lanteans who seemed desperate to express their joy in John’s return. She watched as Ronon patted him firmly on the shoulder, clearly holding himself back from anything more effusive, as Teyla rested her head against his for a brief moment. Even Elizabeth slipped in close enough to give his hand a squeeze. The marines who had performed the rescue were buffeting each other on the back, and the feeling in the Jumper Bay was quite euphoric.

And then the whole circus moved out of the Bay, John lying on a gurney, heading straight to the infirmary for a scan to see what the damage was this time, and Adi drew a deep breath, settling her emotions.

She had just decided she was calm enough to follow John and see to the healing of his aura without anyone questioning her emotional state, when a noise drew her attention.

Evan was slowly descending the jumper ramp and, as Adi’s eyes focussed on him, her mouth dropped open in shock at the swirling disarray of his aura.

He saw her and stopped, straightening up and trying to smile at her in his usual way, but he wasn’t sure that it had worked. His emotions were a mess – overwhelming relief mingling uncomfortably with the remnants of terror, loss trying to give way to joy at John’s survival, and all of it making him feel nauseous and fuzzy minded. 

Adi’s eyes were wide as she approached him, compassion to the fore despite her own distress. Such a dramatic situation must surely take a dreadful emotional toll on everyone… But then she reached him, and suddenly she could feel ‘John’ screaming out, all over his aura.

Adi gasped, her expression morphing instantly to understanding as she realised that she was not alone in her feelings of trauma. “Oh, Evan,” she said softly as she reached for him. “I did not know that you felt this way for him. I did not know that you would have suffered the same terror as I have in these past minutes.” Her own emotions were still bubbling close to the surface and she sank against his body, clinging to him in her shock, shaking slightly with the after-effects of fear. 

Evan tensed at Adi’s words, at the sudden and horrifying realisation that she knew, but then he let out a soft whimper of distress and returned the embrace, sliding his arms around her and cradling her tightly against his chest, needing the comfort just as much as she did.

“He is safe, Evan,” Adi whispered tearfully. “You saved him. He is safe and alive and in the infirmary. Dr Beckett will find out if anything is damaged, and we will heal him. He will live. He is still with us.”

Evan nodded against Adi’s shoulder, desperately ashamed of having let his emotional state show. He’d waited until everyone had left the Bay before exiting the jumper, unaware that Adi was still there, but the depth of her understanding and compassion had completely unmanned him. He shuddered in her arms, pitifully grateful not to be alone in this moment. It had been so close… so very, very close.

He knew he had duties to attend to, things that needed his attention, but he was desperately in need of something to help him get a footing on his emotions. He clung to Adi as she released her terror of these past minutes, giving her the comfort she needed, and taking comfort from her presence as well.

It was several minutes before Adi’s shaking abated, and she drew back from him a little. “Thank you, Evan,” she said softly, sniffing away the last of her tears. “I fear that my emotions were in tatters following all of that drama. The comfort of your embrace has greatly helped me. But now I need to heal John’s aura. Will you accompany me to the infirmary to see how he is?”

But Evan shook his head. “I-I can’t, Adi. I’m on duty. I have to go and ensure the evacuated personnel have been recalled, and deal with getting all the stores back into place, and sort out something for the shattered windows. And then I’ll need to launch the investigation into what happened...” He shook his head again, his eyes tortured. “I-I can’t come to the infirmary. If I went now, they’d… they’d see. They’d know.” He gazed at her, holding her eyes, wondering if he could trust her with this, wondering what she might do with this knowledge, this desperately hidden secret.

“Adi,” he said softly, his voice shaking, “you can’t tell anyone. No-one must know how I feel, how I feel about…”

Adi’s eyes filled with compassion. “Hush, Evan. Please. Do not fear that I will share your emotions with others. They are your emotions, and it is for you to share them or not, as you choose. I am aware of the reasons why you would wish to keep this hidden, and I will do nothing to expose you. I am sorry if you feel unsettled that I am now aware of how you feel for John, but please understand that I will not reveal your personal feelings to anyone. Ever. This knowledge is safe with me.”

Evan could see the truth in her eyes and he nodded slowly, accepting her words. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice full of deeply felt gratitude. “If they knew… if he knew… I’d be arrested and court-martialled, Adi. I’d lose Atlantis. I’d be thrown into jail on Earth for feeling this way.” His voice was ragged, traumatised, as he recited those things that would happen if anyone learned that he had these feelings for his very male commanding officer.

Adi shook her head slowly, pity for him sweeping through her as she took in his shell-shocked appearance. “I find your rules barbaric, Evan. Love should never have to be hidden, and I am so very sorry that you are unable to freely express what you feel.” She smiled tremulously at him. “I do not find your feelings for John inappropriate in any way. You have chosen a beautiful man to love.”

Evan huffed out a breath, agreeing whole-heartedly; but he needed to get back to the Control Room. “Adi, I have to go. Will you be okay in the infirmary by yourself? I can call Ronon or Smithers to join you if you need them?”

Adi shook her head. “I am all right now, Evan. I do not need anyone else to come. But I do thank you for offering me the shelter of your arms when I was so greatly in need of comfort.”

“Always, Adi,” Evan said, his voice rasping slightly with the strength of his emotions. “I’ll always hold you, whenever you need me to.”

Adi gazed up at him for a moment, seeing the truth of his words reflected in his beautiful blue eyes, then she pushed up onto the balls of her feet and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek. Smiling softly at him, she slid out of his embrace and headed out of the Jumper Bay, the need to be in the infirmary where she could heal John’s aura and ensure that he was safe and alive and well, rising sharply in her.

Behind her, she heard Evan drawing a deep, settling breath, and she hoped that he could resume his duties without suspicion falling on him. She did not understand Lantean society at all. Two beautiful, kind, caring, brave and capable men loved one another deeply, and neither could admit to their feelings.

It was a travesty, but it seemed it was something that Adi could do little to alter.

***** *****

John’s face lit as Adi appeared in the door of the infirmary. He’d been worried about where she was, if she’d evacuated off-world, if she was scared for him, if she even knew that he’d been at risk. But here she was, coming towards him and he fought to keep the pleasure he was feeling at seeing her hidden.

Adi came to a stop at the end of John’s bed, her heart swelling with relief that he was alive and seemed relatively uninjured. He was wearing an oxygen mask, and Carson was setting up an IV as John sat upright in the bed, leaning forward slightly so Marie could bathe the wounds on his shoulders and back.

Adi could see the swirl of injury marring John’s aura, but there was nothing so severe that she feared for him. Multiple minor wounds, but nothing major. He’d been unbelievably lucky. She lifted her eyes to his and saw the profound relief in his own survival showing there. She smiled at him, a little tremulously, as her own emotions were still somewhat topsy-turvy, and his mouth flickered up for a moment before he hissed in pain, jerking forward slightly.

“Sorry,” Marie said, but John shook his head, pulling the oxygen mask away from his face long enough to rasp out, “It’s fine, no problem.”

Carson straightened up from inserting the IV needle into John’s hand and turned to fit the fluid bag to the stand, hooking it up and setting the dosage, then watching for a moment as the liquid started to drip down into the tubing that led to John’s hand. “Right then,” he said, turning to John. “That should take care of the pain and the inflammation caused by the blunt trauma from the shockwave. As soon as Marie’s finished cleansing those wounds on your back, I’ll see if they need stitching or just covering, and then you’ll be ready for a nice, healing sleep, Colonel.”

John grimaced and pulled the oxygen mask down. “Can’t Adi just take me to the waterfall, Carson? It’d be quicker.”

Carson flicked his eyes towards Adi but his words were for John. “No, she canna, Colonel, for I willna permit it.” He leaned forward to reseat the oxygen mask to his liking. “I’ll not have you seeing her as your own magical genie. You’ll be thinking you can do whatever you like, get yourself injured in dreadful ways, and it willna matter because Adi will just heal you!” Carson’s brogue had thickened with the force of his emotions. Clearly, he was quite upset over John’s heroics.

John was looking mutinous, so Adi decided to intervene. “May I heal the Colonel’s aura now, Carson? It will enable his body to focus on his physical injuries, once his aura is flowing smoothly.”

Carson nodded reluctantly. “Aye, you may. But that’s all you’re to do, Adi. I dinna want you healing anything else. It’s best to let the Colonel’s body deal with these injuries itself, let him rest awhile instead of throwing himself—” He bit his words off abruptly and turned away, crossing the infirmary with firm steps to gather the supplies needed to deal with the wounds on John’s back.

Adi watched him go, her expression troubled.

“You mustn’t mind Dr Beckett, Adi,” Marie said softly. “It was difficult for us all to think of the Colonel being lost that way.”

John was looking very uncomfortable with all these unfettered emotions swirling around, so Adi moved up beside the bed and lifted her hand to hover over his aura. “Your ribs are injured, Colonel,” she said, and John nodded. He glanced over at Carson, but he had his back to them, fishing things out of drawers. Pulling his mask aside, John spoke, his voice rasping uncomfortably, “It’s from the force of the explosion. Carson said they’re just bruised though, not cracked or broken. My liver and kidneys copped it too. And some of the debris struck me and caused some damage as well. That’s what Marie’s cleaning up now. But hey! There’re no problems with my neck or spine, despite how high I was when I jumped.” He smirked a little, and Adi felt a fresh wave of distress mingled with relief that he had survived. It could so easily have ended in tragedy.

It was hard to keep her feelings from showing on her face, and so she moved behind John where Marie was still working, lifting her hand to hover over the bruising to his aura and using her own energies to heal the damage, bringing everything back into sync.

John closed his eyes while all of this was going on. He knew how lucky he’d been. He could so easily be dead now, and he knew that when he did things like this, those who had to watch him suffered too. He’d learned that the hard way, on the day he’d said, ‘So long,’ to Rodney before heading off to fly a nuke into a hive ship. Rodney had been very clear, afterwards, about what that had done to him.

Before Atlantis, John had never really had anyone who cared enough about him to be bothered by him doing these sorts of things. There was Holland of course, and Mitch and Dex, but they’d all of them been young and hot-headed, flying into danger on a daily basis, and all of them understood the stakes. But here in Atlantis, John had found his family, and he knew how unsettled it made them to watch him take these risks. And yet… he couldn’t not. If he hadn’t flown that jumper away from the city, the entire central tower would’ve been lost and everyone in it.

His one life for everyone else’s was a simple decision for him to make, but at least now he was aware of the effect those decisions had on others. Ronon and Elizabeth had both felt the need to touch him, Teyla had given him her Athosian embrace, and Carson was snarking at him. It was all part of the same thing. At least Adi was dealing with him gently, although he’d seen the light tension running through her body and the aftermath of distress on her face, despite her effort to suppress it. She’d felt it too.

John sighed, shifting uncomfortably as Marie hit another bad spot. And then Carson was returning, pushing a trolley of supplies, and Adi moved back into John’s field of vision.

“I have finished healing your aura, Colonel. Your body will be able to focus on healing your physical wounds now.” She paused, holding his eyes for a moment. “I am very glad that you were not… injured… more severely,” she said a little shakily, and John knew she’d been going to say killed.

He wanted to draw her into his arms and hug her, comfort her, but Carson and Marie were right next to him and there were a lot of other patients in the infirmary having glass cuts tended to, all able to see him, and he just couldn’t do it. So he smirked at her instead. “Just lucky, I guess.”

Adi was unsure what to say to such a flippant response when she was feeling so emotional, and there was silence for a moment, but she could see the depth of feeling in John’s eyes, and so she drew a deep, calming breath as she accepted that he couldn’t give her comfort at this time. Not in such a public place.

Nodding quietly, she turned away, leaving John in the capable hands of Dr Beckett and his staff, comforted by the knowledge of his survival.

***** *****

Evan made his way quickly from the Jumper Bay to the Control Room, well aware that he’d been neglecting his duties due to his illegal emotions. He walked into a state of controlled chaos and, glancing around to take in everything, he made his way across to Chuck. “Report?”

Chuck looked up and beamed at him. “Well done, Sir, if you don’t mind me saying so. Well done.”

Evan found himself grinning, finally able to feel the joy in John’s survival without any of the terror assailing him. “Yeah. The Colonel’s got the devil’s own luck.”

Chuck nodded his agreement before turning to more serious matters. “I called off the evacuation, Sir, as you ordered, and those on the Alpha site have nearly all returned. Dr Weir was the first back, and Sergeant Coughlin is just coming through now. He’s the last, Sir.”

Evan turned to where Chuck was pointing and saw Coughlin emerging from the event horizon.

“I called medical personnel to the gate room as well,” Chuck continued, “and everyone who was injured by the flying glass has been taken to the infirmary for treatment. Sergeant Timmons is currently assessing the damage.”

Evan could see Timmons up on a ladder, his arms outstretched as he reached to feel the tops of the shattered panes. “Thanks, Chuck. Anything else?”

“No, Sir,” Chuck said, and then his face inexplicably brightened with another smile.

Evan smiled back, feeling the relief radiating from the gate tech, and sharing it, full measure. This whole situation had come out of nowhere, and it could so easily have ended in tragedy. Instead, they had a couple of damaged windows, a few people injured by the falling glass, and a lost jumper. Colonel Sheppard had been moving under his own steam as he exited the jumper, so Evan was working on the assumption that his injuries were not life threatening, although he really would feel more comfortable knowing that for certain.

A movement beside him caught his attention and he saw Dr Weir approaching. “Major, I’d appreciate a briefing on what happened and where we stand now.”

“Of course, Ma’am. Give me five minutes to consult with Sergeant Timmons, and I’ll meet you in your office.”

Elizabeth nodded and turned away, and Evan moved swiftly down the stairs, needing to know if the Central Tower was structurally sound or if they would have to do some work to shore things up.

“Sergeant,” he called as he approached the ladder.

Timmons looked down, saw him, and started to descend. “Sir,” he said respectfully as he reached the ground. “The damage isn’t too bad. The shock wave that passed through the walls doesn’t seem to have destabilised anything – the polymer the Ancients used in their construction has some useful properties for energy absorption. The windows have shattered cleanly without damaging the frames at all. I’ll have my men cover the holes over with some thick plastic for now, until we can fit the new glass. But I’d say we’ve got off very lightly, Sir.”

“It seems so,” Evan responded. “Thanks, Sergeant. Carry on.”

He made his way back towards the stairs, avoiding the marines who were sweeping up the shards of glass, and headed for Dr Weir’s office. She beckoned him to enter and he settled on the sofa, letting his body relax for a moment after all the tension and stress of the past half hour.

Elizabeth smiled at him in understanding and Evan drew a deep, calming breath, then gave her a quick roundup on how the situation had unfolded after he’d sent her through the gate to the Alpha site, including the impact of the explosion and the SAR to locate Colonel Sheppard.

“Ah, yes,” Elizabeth interpolated, “Dr Beckett radioed not long ago to advise me that the Colonel has extensive bruising inside and out, slight damage to his lungs from the fiery air he inhaled when he surfaced from his jump, and some small injuries to his back from falling debris. But he expects him to make a full recovery.”

Evan couldn’t hold the smile back, but it didn’t seem to matter because Dr Weir was beaming too. “That’s excellent news, Ma’am,” he said, and Elizabeth nodded her agreement.

She was still feeling the shock of events. Even though she’d been evacuated off-world and hadn’t been in the city during the explosion – or during the desperate search for the Colonel that had followed – she’d still needed to calm and support a whole lot of very stressed people on the Alpha site. She leaned back in her chair, smiling at Major Lorne. “Thank you for the update, Major. I expect you have other duties to attend to now. When you know the cause of the explosion, I’d appreciate you letting me know.”

“Of course,” Evan said, accepting the dismissal as he nodded politely and made his way out of her office. Wondering where Dr McKay would be – because obviously the Chief Scientist would’ve already started the investigation – he tapped his radio. “Dr McKay, what’s your location?”

“In the Jumper Bay,” Rodney answered, and Evan turned his reluctant feet in that direction. He desperately wanted to go and look at John, to see him breathing in and out, see the machines beeping out the proof of his survival, but he couldn’t. Consoling himself with the thought that Adi would be down there, healing John’s aura – and maybe healing John himself – he turned his mind to the reasons behind all the drama, hoping that none of the other jumpers would be affected with the same problem.

Chapter Text

It was early evening when Adi left the greenhouse and made her way to the mess, hoping to overhear some news of John’s progress.

She’d stayed about half an hour in the infirmary after she’d finished with John, moving amongst the other injured personnel and spending a few minutes with each to heal their auras. Then, with a single regretful glance towards John’s sleeping form, she’d retired to Botany to re-energise. She’d spent the long hours of the afternoon with her hands buried in soil, trying to set aside her desperate wish to be at John’s side as she worked to calm and rebalance her own aura.

The mess was buzzing with chatter as she entered, everyone talking about the evacuation and the explosion, and Adi filled her plate and crossed to the table where Teyla and Rodney were sitting.

“Adi,” Teyla smiled in welcome, “please, join us.”

“Thank you,” Adi said as she laid down her tray and sat. “Have you heard how the Colonel is this evening?”

“He is well,” Teyla said. “Carson is keeping him overnight for observation. The force of the explosion has caused some bruising inside his body, but Carson holds no fears for his recovery. Ronon is with him now.” She smiled kindly, knowing full well the distress Adi would be feeling in the events of the day.

Adi returned the smile gratefully. Teyla’s words had assuaged her fears. John was doing well and, hopefully, he would be released tomorrow. Perhaps he would come to find her so that she might lose herself in the comfort of his embrace, so that she could feel, deep inside herself, that he was alive and well and still with her.

Rodney lifted his fork, a piece of meatloaf waving dangerously on the end of it to emphasise his words, as he returned to the conversation he and Teyla had been having before Adi had joined them. “As I was saying, the number of suicide missions Sheppard has survived is statistically improbable. We calculated the height he must’ve jumped from based on the jumper’s trajectory, and he really should’ve broken some bones from that height. I have no idea how he just sustained some ‘bruising.’” He shook his head in mock disgust.

“You would not have wished him injured further, though,” Adi said, and Rodney looked shocked.

“Of course not! I’m just saying he’s a statistical nightmare!”

As Rodney kept talking, Adi smiled, feeling much more balanced inside herself. If Rodney was ranting like this, then everything was indeed going to be all right. She let herself join in the lively conversation, listening and contributing, making outrageous remarks simply to encourage Rodney to greater heights, feeling a sense of camaraderie with these people who were John’s chosen family.

Eventually the meal drew to a close, with Rodney returning to his lab and an interrupted project, and Teyla heading for the gym. Ronon would apparently stay with John for several more hours, and then Rodney would take over for the long hours of the night.

Adi stood when they did, carrying her tray to the bussing station on her way out the door. She would sleep on the pier this evening and allow nature to finish replenishing and balancing her aura.

***** *****

Evan snuck into the mess not long after, choosing a table by himself and setting his laptop up as a clear indication that he wasn’t seeking company. He sat and worked through the mission reports for the SGC, occasionally typing a one-handed correction as he fed himself with the other hand.

He was hungry after the exigencies of the day, but he hadn’t wanted to sit surrounded by tables of marines, having to listen to them all retelling the story of Colonel Sheppard’s bravery. Although he’d managed to lock his emotions down before leaving the Jumper Bay, he could feel them still fizzing just below the surface. He couldn’t have joined in the joking and the hero worship the marines were bound to be engaging in this evening.

He was finding it hard to concentrate on the reports though and, as he scooped up the last of his meal, he gave up, closing the laptop. With his tray in one hand and his laptop tucked under his arm, he headed towards the exit, deciding he was going to visit the infirmary and request an update on all the injured personnel. Hopefully it would give him the chance to glimpse John being alive, and prove to himself that John was truly all right.

He detoured past his office to drop off the laptop, then made his way through the halls to the infirmary, slipping in through the doors silently. He’d intended to find Dr Beckett or Dr Biro, but his attention was immediately caught by John’s eyes slowly blinking open as if he’d just woken. Quelling a shiver of relief, Evan was drawn forward by the chance to actually see John alert and alive, to talk to him and know he had survived.

Evan was smiling as he came up beside the bed, unable to keep his expression neutral, but the Colonel didn’t seem to take it amiss, nodding sleepily at him, a light smirk ghosting across his face. He had nasal cannulas in now, and Evan assumed the heat damage Dr Beckett had described from John breathing the hot air from the explosion had improved sufficiently that he no longer needed the full-face mask.

“It’s good to see you awake, Sir,” he said, doing everything he could to keep his voice even and uninflected.

John nodded slowly. “Good to be awake, Major. Kinda thought that was gonna be it.”

Evan’s heart clenched at that remark, the colour leaching out of his face as he took a couple of deep breaths. “Yeah, it didn’t look so good from the Control Room either, Sir.” He paused for a moment, then trying to bring some levity to the conversation, he continued, “But you’re clearly an Olympic-level diver. McKay was bleating about the height you jumped from and how many bones you should’ve broken. I think he’s a bit freaked out by your superhero talents in that area, Sir.”

John laughed, then immediately coughed, curling forward as his lungs made their discomfort known. When he straightened back up, he looked exhausted, clearly cusping on the edge of sleep again, worn out with the effort of being awake, his body craving peace in which to heal. But there was something he needed to check before he sank back down into slumber.

Feeling a bit exposed, John glanced sideways at Ronon, happy to see that his attention had been caught by a conversation the on-duty marine was having with someone in one of the other hospital beds. He turned his attention back to Lorne, biting his lip for a moment.

“Um, is Adi…” he rasped softly, “is she…?” He broke off to cough again, and Evan waited until he’d settled before answering.

“She’s okay, Sir. A bit unsettled, of course, by your near-death heroics. She was upset in the Jumper Bay after we arrived back, and I–I held her for a while, until she was calm enough to come here and heal your aura.” Evan gazed at John, wondering if he was going to be okay with that. They were still dancing around each other after John’s jealous reaction to Evan’s friendship with Adi, and Evan wasn’t sure exactly how the Colonel would take this news.

But John slumped back against his pillows, grateful that someone had comforted Adi after he’d nearly died. He closed his eyes for a moment, replaying the expression on Adi’s face when she’d visited him in the infirmary. She’d been upset when he saw her, and that was after Lorne had apparently hugged her in the Jumper Bay.

He understood that the jumper explosion would’ve distressed her, but he was well aware that the fact he hadn’t offered her physical, or even verbal comfort when she’d come to heal his aura had been really shit for her. He just hadn’t felt able to with so many people around, and now he was trapped here, unable to go find her, unable to offer her a hug, unable to share his aura so she could replenish the energies she’d used healing all those who had been struck by falling glass.

He knew there was no way he’d be able to escape the infirmary tonight to go and find Adi…

But maybe… maybe Lorne could.

Quashing his sense of jealousy at the thought of Evan providing comfort when he couldn’t, John caught Evan’s gaze. “She, um…” he coughed. “She’s still upset, Lorne.” He paused, bracing himself to do this. “Could you… could you maybe go find her now? Make sure she’s all right?”

Evan stared at him for a moment, his eyes widening in surprise that the Colonel was actually asking him to go and comfort Adi. But then he nodded. “Um, yeah. Sure. I’d be happy to, Sir.”

John tried to respond, but with that worry off his chest his mind was dragging him down to sleep. He managed only a brief nod at Lorne before his eyes closed, his body relaxing as he slipped away.

Evan stood there for another moment, feeling somewhat flummoxed at the Colonel’s request, but then he shook himself lightly, caught Ronon’s eye long enough to nod in farewell, and set off to hunt down a distressed Capeligan.

***** *****

Adi had carried her bedding out to the end of the pier and laid it out with practised ease before settling beneath the blankets and gazing upwards at the heavens. Her heart was still sorely troubled from the happenings of the day, and she breathed in and out slowly and evenly, working to bring herself back into balance.

Her mind flicked back through the moments of terror she’d experienced – Dr Parrish calling to her to run, the realisation that John was aboard the rogue jumper, the explosion itself – actually feeling the impact against the tower and knowing that was the moment in which John had been killed…

Her eyes filled with tears and she whimpered a little, wishing that John were here with her now, that he was lying with her, holding her safe in his warm, strong embrace where nothing could injure her. But he wasn’t. He was resting in the infirmary, attached to machines that were pumping medications into him and bleeping as they monitored him… He was beyond her reach with so many people around him, and so she was out here alone, comforting herself.

Sniffing lightly, Adi blinked her tears away and focussed her attention on the stars again, her mind rolling forward through events as they’d played out… Crying in the Jumper Bay, Teyla telling her John had been found alive, Ronon hugging her, seeing John walking on his own two feet out of the jumper. And then the moment that her eyes had caught sight of Evan’s aura, the energy patterns swirling in discordant disarray, his emotional state reflecting outwards for her to easily detect and read.

She hoped he’d believed her when she’d told him his secrets were his own. She would never betray him, but it might still be awkward if he felt uncomfortable around her. A sudden sense of distress washed through her as she realised that Evan was in the same predicament as John was, having to watch two people for whom he held tender feelings find joy in one another, whilst sitting outside that care and affection himself. Adi sighed brokenly, once again wishing that the Lantean culture embraced a more open attitude towards love.

A sudden noise caught her attention and she sat up, twisting around. Evan was there, striding towards her and, with a little surge of gratitude, Adi reached for her remote control and lowered the defensive shield that Radek had made for her, resetting it the moment Evan was across the line.

“Hello, Adi,” Evan called out as he approached. “You look very snug there.”

“I am,” Adi responded, smiling tremulously at him. “But I am feeling a little lonely, so I am glad that you have come to visit. There is room for two here, Evan, and I should very much like to feel your aura blending with my own. Come, will you take off your boots and join me here?”

Evan swallowed, then slowly knelt to remove his boots. He hadn’t expected to disrobe at all – or to actually lie under the blankets with her – and it all suddenly seemed much more intimate than he’d expected when he’d agreed to the Colonel’s request to find Adi and check on her. He pushed his boots aside and stood back up, looking uncertainly at the nest Adi had created.

“Evan?” Adi asked softly. “Is something amiss? Would you prefer not to lie with me here?”

Evan gazed down at her, uncertain what he wanted to do. It’d been one hell of a day and his emotions were still fizzing under his skin. John was in the infirmary and he’d nearly died today – Evan had thought he had died – and now Adi was asking him to cuddle up with her, and he wasn’t sure if he could do that without wanting more than he was allowed to have…

Adi could see the indecision on Evan’s face and she slipped out from under the blankets and stood, moving quietly to his side. Reaching out, she took his hand, linking their fingers together. “Evan, I am unsure exactly what is going through your mind at this time, but I am aware that we have both suffered a great deal of distress today, and I believe that we will both benefit from the calming blend of auras to help us to recover from the aftermath of John’s bravery.”

Evan flicked his eyes to hers, seeing the truth of her words shining back at him. They had both suffered a lot today for John’s actions. He nodded slowly as Adi went on, “I do not believe that John will be troubled by you spending time with me this evening, Evan, if that is something you fear. He understands now that you are my friend.”

“I know. He actually asked me to come and check on you,” Evan said, accepting the inevitable and letting Adi tug him down beside her.

“Really?” Adi asked, surprise colouring her voice. “Oh, that is wonderful.” She paused, her spirits rising sharply to know that John had gone so far as to ask Evan to seek her out. “It was kind of John to worry for me, and kind of you to set his mind at ease by agreeing to find me.” She smiled at him and Evan swallowed at the joy radiating from her face. God, she was beautiful.

Adi reached down to pull the blanket up over their bodies. It was one of the incredibly soft Capeligan blankets and Evan shivered lightly as it slithered across the bare skin of his arms. “How do you want me to lie, Adi?” he asked, remembering back to the night they’d slept in her bed on Capeliga, and how Adi had been very specific about the way he should settle himself in the bed.

Adi was already snuggling up against him. “How you are now is fine, Evan. Perhaps you might lay your arm out so that I may use your shoulder as a pillow, and we can both enjoy the view of the universe, laid out above us.”

Evan did as asked, and Adi snuggled in even closer against his side, her hand resting lightly on his chest as she rolled her head against his shoulder to find the perfect spot.

“Can I wrap that arm around you, Adi? Or do you want me to leave it just lying out flat?” he asked softly, fearful of making a mistake and scaring her as he so unwittingly had last time.

“You may hold me, Evan,” Adi said softly. “I trust you completely. Losiri and I often laid together in a nest of blankets and gazed upwards at the stars. It is very comforting to lie so, with a good friend.”

She softened against him as he bent his elbow, bringing his arm in closer against her back. A gentle smile played over his face as he thought how nice this was, the soft blankets, the warmth of Adi’s body against his own, the light breeze and the blaze of stars above. Peaceful. It was peaceful. Evan felt the stressors of the day starting to wash away as he lay there.

They didn’t speak, lying there in Adi’s nest, their bodies pressed closely together, their breathing synchronising. Adi could feel the distress in Evan’s aura slowly settling, even as she was drawing some of that energy into her own to replenish all that she’d lost today in healing the auras of the injured.

Eventually she drew a deeper breath and settled a little closer to Evan. “Do you know what went wrong, Evan? What caused the jumper to explode like that?”

Evan nodded, his arm tightening about her slightly. “Yeah. Dr Z and McKay went over all the data with Dr Spradek. It was the jumper that was involved in a crash-landing about six weeks ago. I’m not sure if you knew about that. It was stationed permanently off-world with the long-term scientific mission on P5X-968 and they crashed it into some trees. It wasn’t badly damaged, but we brought it back and swapped it out for another one, and Radek had his people patch it up. Apparently, there was a component that had nearly sheared through, but it wasn’t picked up, and it broke when Spradek was doing his routine maintenance. McKay said there was no chance of stopping the overload at that point, and Spradek was right when he called for the evacuation. Apparently if the jumper had stayed there, it would’ve exploded inside the Bay which would’ve caused a cascade of explosions from all the other jumpers as well, and we would’ve lost the entire tower and possibly even some of the outlying piers. The Colonel did the only thing he could’ve done to save us all and to save Atlantis.”

Evan shuddered, his mind replaying that horrifying moment when the jumper signal had disappeared from Chuck’s computer screen moments after the white flash of the explosion. “If he hadn’t done what he did, everyone still in the tower would’ve been killed instantly, and those who’d evacuated would’ve been stranded at the Alpha site until the Daedalus came next time.” He took a couple of shaky breaths. The whole thing had been a nightmare, any way you looked at it.

Adi had been softly gathering up the surfeit of emotional energy as Evan had talked of John’s actions and the likely outcome of the explosion, and had used it to start repairing the distress within his aura. “So John truly did save us all with his actions,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” Evan rasped out, his voice rich with unshed tears. “He always does. But always at the risk of his own life.” The terror he’d felt as he’d watched Chuck’s monitor, the feeling of the shock wave hitting the tower… it was too much. He couldn’t hide this away and he wondered what Adi was thinking of him, even as he shuddered with the memories.

Adi slid her arm across Evan’s chest to rest on his far shoulder, snuggling in a bit closer as she moved to hug him. “It must be very difficult to stay focussed on your duties, Evan, when such terrible things are happening around you.”

Evan sniffed, agreeing wholeheartedly with that sentiment. “Yeah, it is. They teach us to compartmentalise, to shove the bad shit away to deal with later and just focus on the situation, but it’s—” He broke off as his emotions swirled sharply about him. He took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm himself, but his voice was still noticeably shaking as he said, “Sometimes it’s harder than others to ignore what’s actually just happened.”

“Of course,” Adi said, her voice rich with compassion. “I was certain that John had been killed, Evan, and it was the most dreadful feeling.” The tears rose up again and suddenly Adi was crying, and after a moment Evan found himself joining in, hoping that Adi wouldn’t mind that he was just as emotional about this as she was.

It was sometime later that Adi quietened. Evan had managed to get himself back under control after just a few minutes and had been holding Adi against him as she let her fear out, feeling a strong sense of gratitude that she trusted him enough to do this for her, to lie with her under her blankets and hold her as she wept out her grief and trauma. And after all, John had survived… this time.

Adi sniffed a few more times as she settled. “I am sorry. I appear to have wet your shirt with my tears.”

Evan laughed. “It’s okay, Adi. It’ll dry.”

Adi nodded against his chest. “Yes, it will. And John is safe, so my tears were pointless really, but it has helped me a great deal to release my anguish. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Adi. Anytime.”

Evan’s arm tightened slightly about her shoulders and then released, and Adi smiled against his chest, feeling cared for and supported.

They settled back into silence, just resting comfortably against one another, the cool night air touching their faces, and the stars wheeling slowly above them.

Eventually Adi stretched slightly and then suddenly yawned. “Oh, please excuse my rudeness. It is not the company, truly!”

Evan laughed. He was feeling much calmer now. He wriggled himself around, reclaiming his arm and sitting up. “It’s clearly time for sleep, Adi, for both of us. Are you staying out here?”

Adi nodded. “Yes. I will sleep best with the feel of the breeze against my skin, Evan.”

“Okay,” he said as he slid out from under the blanket and stood.

Adi followed him out of the blankets, reaching for his hands and gazing straight into his eyes. “Evan, we shall not speak of this again, for I know that you wish to shelter your heart. But… Evan, John is often in danger. Should you ever again have need of someone to share your distress with over his actions, please know that you can come to me.”

Evan drew a shaky breath. He’d kept his feelings hidden for so long, he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about Adi knowing. “Thank you,” he eventually said. “I… I don’t know if I…” He huffed out a breath. “Thanks, Adi. It’s kinda nice to know I could actually get a hug from someone after he does his death-defying acts of insane bravery.” He laughed a little brokenly and Adi pushed up onto her toes and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“I will always be here for you, Evan, just as you are here for me.”

Evan nodded. “Sleep well, Adi,” he said and turned away, leaving her there at the end of the pier. His heart was considerably lighter now and he was feeling quite calm as he crossed the city and made his way to his quarters.

Adi may have taken comfort from his presence, but Evan had done the same from hers. Feeling less alone than he had in a long while, Evan quickly undressed, slipped into his own bed, and was asleep within minutes.  

***** *****

John moved restlessly in his infirmary bed, impatiently waiting for Carson to release him.

The doctor had been adamant about him staying not just overnight, but for the whole of the next day and night as well, cautious about the extent of John’s injuries.

There’d been a lot of bruising – internal and external – and a few small cuts on his back, along with a burn mark where one of the flaming parts of the jumper had struck him. Added to which, his lungs had been a little raspy from the super-heated air he’d breathed. But there was nothing life-threatening, and John was feeling rather desperate at being held here when there were personal things he needed to attend to.

One personal thing in particular... because Adi hadn’t come back.

John had thought she might’ve popped in yesterday morning when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to be released straight away, but she hadn’t, and the fear that Lorne may have offered sufficient comfort on the night of the explosion to turn Adi’s head was riding him hard.

When Evan had visited him in the infirmary that night, John had been in a bad way; his lungs seared and sending sharp stabs of agonising pain through him whenever he coughed, his body bruised and battered, and his weariness almost palpable. Being able to hand responsibility for Adi’s wellbeing to Evan – someone he trusted implicitly – had been a relief, despite his usual reticence at letting Evan get too close to her.

But when he’d woken the next morning – in considerably better state – all his old jealous worries had returned. He knew Adi had promised him that she wouldn’t make any move to get closer to Evan without telling him first… but she’d been very distressed when she’d visited the infirmary straight after the explosion and John had done nothing to calm her.

He cringed as he remembered his flippant response to her concern, knowing he’d created this whole situation and was now reaping the backlash.

She would, without a doubt, have headed out to the end of the pier to sit in nature and, with no-one to offer her any support, she would almost certainly have still been that distressed when Evan went to find her…

John’s fingers tapped restlessly against his sides as his thoughts sped up, running at double-time as his mind replayed – for the dozenth time – what might have happened next. He knew that Adi would’ve willingly turned to Evan for comfort. She’d done so before – several times – and Evan would’ve just as willingly offered it. After all, he said he’d already hugged her in the Jumper Bay, and he’d made no objection to seeking her out when John had asked. And John knew that Adi would have been seeking skin time to replenish her aura after her activities in the infirmary, so instead of just sitting beside Evan and maybe holding hands, they would most likely have ended up lying together under the silky soft Capeligan blankets, the blaze of stars above them as a backdrop to intimacy—

Luckily John’s spiralling thoughts were brought to a sudden halt by the arrival of Dr Beckett, his white lab coat flicking around his knees as he walked briskly across to John’s bed. “Right then, Colonel Sheppard. I’ve looked over your blood work and the results from that last scan, and I think I can safely release you.”

John swung his legs out from under the blankets immediately, but Carson reached out and grabbed his shoulder.

“You’ll be on light duties today, of course, Colonel, but providing you pass a scan tomorrow morning, you should be able to resume full duties then.” He tightened his hand on John’s shoulder. “No heroics today, Colonel. Just take things easy and let your lungs and your body continue to recover.”

John nodded, willing to agree to anything if Carson would just let him go.

“Verra well then, let’s unhook the last of this paraphernalia and you can be on your way.”

John fidgeted through the five minutes it took for Carson to do what needed to be done to enable him to leave, and then he was on his feet. “Thanks Carson, appreciate it,” he called over his shoulder as he strode determinedly for the infirmary exit. He was still wearing scrubs, so he jogged quickly to the transporter, forgetting that Carson had told him to take it easy. He made it to his room in record time, had a very speedy shower, threw on a fresh set of BDUs, and then he was on his way to find Adi. 

She wasn’t in the greenhouse or in the Botany lab or on her forest balcony, and John was starting to grow desperate by the time he finally ran her to Earth in one of the Chemistry labs.

Adi was lost in her own thoughts – setting up the equipment for an experiment that would be conducted later that day – when she realised she was no longer alone. Sudden tension gripped her and she lifted her head sharply, only to realise that the intruder was John.

“Oh!” she gasped, her voice full of joy, and then she was laying down the glass beaker in her hand and hurrying across the lab towards him.

John lifted his arms in welcome and Adi moved straight in against his body, sliding her arms around his torso and sinking into him.

“John,” she breathed, “you are well again. Oh… I have missed you.”

A lot of John’s distress dissipated instantly with the evidence of Adi’s affections, the feel of her in his arms. He leaned his forehead down against her hair and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, feeling the shape of her against his body and finding it good. “I, um, I missed you, too,” he said softly. “I–I’m sorry I couldn’t… in the infirmary…”

Adi leaned back a little, shaking her head. “I understand, John. It was a difficult time, but I understand that you did not feel able to comfort me in so public a place. I had already sought comfort from Major Lorne in the Jumper Bay, shortly after you returned to the city, and he came to find me on the pier later that night. I spent several hours lying with him as he helped me to rebalance my aura and deal with my emotions.” She gazed up, catching John’s eyes. “He seemed a little uncertain about joining me under my blankets, but I told him I did not think you would mind, John, in the circumstances.”

“I, uh, I actually asked him to go find you, make sure you were okay,” John said, stamping on the surge of jealousy that had arisen as Adi confirmed his fears that Lorne had been snuggling her in her blanket nest. Instead, he focused on the fact that Adi was here with him now, she’d been overjoyed to see him, and she’d given him her trademark Adi hug. “Are you… Did Lorne…”

“He was very comforting, John. He held me while I wept.” She snuggled in close against his body again. “I thought you had died, John. I felt the explosion when it hit the tower, and I knew that you were dead and I had lost you forever.” The tears were rich in her voice, and John’s arms closed tightly around her, desperately sorry to have put her through such a harrowing experience.

“I’m sorry, Adi,” he whispered. “So sorry.” She was shaking in his arms and John’s heart clenched at the agonies she must have suffered, thinking him gone.

“You saved everyone, John,” Adi got out, her words a little garbled by the tears, “and I would not have had you act otherwise. But I do not wish to lose you so soon. We have only just begun our journey, you and I.” She pulled back from his embrace and lifted her hand to his cheek. “I stayed away from the infirmary because I knew that you would not wish anyone to wonder at my presence, but it was very difficult, John, and I should very much like to lie with you, to feel your skin against my own, to hear your heart beating and to know that you are alive and well. When could we do this? Are you available now?”

John’s heart felt lighter as Adi explained her reasons for not visiting him, and he nodded at her request, very much wanting all those same things. “Sure, of course,” he said, ignoring the fact that he was, technically, on duty, even if only light duties. After all, Adi’s needs clearly trumped those of Atlantis in this moment, and Lorne was very capable anyway and could easily handle any issues that came up in the next hour without needing John looking over his shoulder. “We can go to the suite for a while if you like. Do you need to finish up here?”

Adi shook her head, taking a step back and wiping away her tears. “Dr Kavanagh is in the monthly Science Meeting and will not be commencing the experiment until that meeting is finished. Dr McKay usually keeps his staff there for several hours at least. It will be afternoon before Dr Kavanagh returns.”

“Okay, then.” John reached out and gently took Adi’s hand in his, linking their fingers together as he led her towards the door. They’d just entered the hallway when his earwig chirped.

“Sheppard,” he responded, his voice a little curt as he tugged Adi to a stop.

“Colonel?” Elizabeth’s voice said. “I’ve got a trade proposal on my desk that I’d like to discuss with you, and since you’re on light duties I thought now might be a good time?”

John closed his eyes for a moment, disappointment slamming through him. “On my way,” he responded, then tapped the radio closed and gazed ruefully at the beautiful woman standing next to him. “I’m sorry, Adi, duty calls,” he said reluctantly, but Adi just nodded, smiling lightly.

“I had forgotten that you would have responsibilities, John, in my need to reassure myself of your survival. Please, do not apologise. I understand you have things to attend to and I am very grateful to you for spending this time with me.”

“You’re more important than those things, Adi,” John said, his voice choking a little as he tried to convey his feelings. “I wanted to… to let you feel me, to know I was okay.”

“You have already done so, John. I have felt your body pressing against my own, and our auras blended as we shared that beautiful hug. Perhaps we may meet again tonight, after the Stitch ‘n’ Bitch?”

John nodded. “Yeah, sure. That sounds good.” He gazed at her for a moment, wanting nothing more than to go straight to their suite and lie with her, feel the warmth of their skin touching as Adi reassured herself of his survival. But he couldn’t. Elizabeth was waiting for him and there was no way he could ask her to wait, not without giving a reason.

He drew Adi into a quick hug instead. “Tonight,” he said softly as he let go.

Adi nodded, and John turned abruptly, leaving her there. She watched him go, sighing lightly, but then she shook herself. She knew that John had many duties to attend to, and seemingly he had come straight from the infirmary to seek her out. It felt good to know that he cared for her so, that his first thought had been for her. Hopefully he would be available tonight and they could spend some time together in their special suite. Maybe she would feel courageous enough to move to the next step along the path to true intimacy.

Knowing that she had so nearly lost John in that explosion had left her feeling a longing to join with him properly. But whether she could do so still remained to be seen.

Feeling a little better able to focus now that her worries for John had been assuaged, Adi returned to the chemistry lab. She had an experiment to set up.

***** *****

It was late when John finally finished dealing with all the dramas of the day. Even on light duties, he still needed to be the one in charge. All ‘light duty’ meant was that he shouldn’t be going off-world or into any combat situations; and in Pegasus, even that was subject to change depending on circumstances.

After meeting with Elizabeth to consider the trade agreement one of their allies was proposing, he’d been drawn into a discussion with the mess staff over the management of supplies, and from there he’d had to deal with a problem in the munitions store, and before he’d quite finished with that, Rodney was radioing him to bring his super-gene to one of the labs…

Normally Lorne dealt with most of that crap, but he’d taken his team to Badagh to place orders for replacement glass panels for the gate room, so John was left to manage the administrative side of things. It was not his forte and he’d spent the day feeling a large degree of frustration, no doubt enhanced by being thwarted in his attempts to comfort Adi.

He’d arrived late to the mess for dinner, only to find that she’d already been and gone, no doubt hurrying away to get to the Stitch ‘n’ Bitch. Feeling disappointed to have missed her, John had nonetheless spent a fun evening with Rodney, racing their cars in an unpopulated area of Atlantis, but just as he’d been about to head off to find Adi and accompany her to their suite, his radio had pinged with the unwelcome news of a fight in the marine quarters.

It had taken him over an hour to resolve the mess. There’d been more than fifteen marines involved in the all-out brawl and John had kicked himself for not anticipating this. He should’ve organised a game of football or volleyball or something for that evening. Emotions were always high in the aftermath of near-death experiences, and even though it hadn’t been any of them in the pilot seat of that jumper the after-effects were still the same.

He read the riot act to the marines involved in the fight, gave orders for the entire marine contingent to be up at 0400 hours for a twenty-kilometre run around the boundaries of the city, tasked Lorne – finally returned from Badagh – with writing up all the charge sheets, and then ordered Stackhouse to have the offending marines thrown in the Brig for the night so that they could feel the full weight of their Commanding Officer’s displeasure.

By the time all of that was dealt with, it was gone midnight and John was shattered. So much for taking it gently today as he recovered.

He made his weary way towards his quarters, thinking of Adi lying in her own room, patiently waiting for him to come and take her to the suite. But he couldn’t. He was just too tired to even contemplate having to cross the city. And letting her play with his body while keeping control of his reactions definitely wouldn’t be possible. If she touched him now, he was likely to either fall asleep regardless, or go off like a bloody firecracker with no finesse whatsoever.

He stood in the shower, washing off the effects of his day and trying to calm himself. It was very tempting to just throw himself down on his own bed and sleep… but he knew how unfair that would be to Adi. And to be perfectly honest, he was feeling a strong need to hold her in his arms and know she was still his.

If he abandoned her tonight, he knew he’d spend the entire mission to Chinchal tomorrow worrying that she would give up on him. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to feel that way. Adi had been very open with him about the importance of his presence in her life, but he couldn’t help the way he felt. He knew he was useless at relationships – he hadn’t even been able to offer the woman he loved the smallest bit of comfort in the wake of his supposed death! Anyone else would’ve tossed him aside like a day-old rag by now.

That thought sealed it, and John thought the water off, swiftly towelled himself dry and threw on his sleep gear – he was too tired to go through the rigamarole of pulling on his BDUs just to take them off again two doors down the hall.

He slipped out of his room and into Adi’s without anyone seeing him.

Adi was asleep in the bed, curled up on her side with her hand beneath her cheek, and John took a moment to just look at her. She was such an incredible person and he loved her so much. Why was he so unwilling to let anyone else know what she meant to him? He shook his head sadly, unable to come up with a reason. Thinking the lights up a little, he started to pull off his sweats, calling out softly to let her know he was there.

Adi’s eyes blinked open and a beatific smile lit her face. “John,” she murmured warmly, and John’s heart clenched to hear the depth of love Adi had packed into that one word.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he whispered as he approached the bed.

“It does not matter,” Adi said softly. “You are here now,” and she lifted the blankets, silently inviting him in.

John slid into the bed and Adi settled against him immediately. “Mmm,” she murmured, “It brings me great joy to have you here with me, John.” And then her body softened against him, and John tightened his arms a little, breathing out a low, slow breath of pleasure. Letting his body relax into the comfort of Adi’s curves, he slid away.

Chapter Text

It was early when John woke the next morning, and he took a moment to just enjoy the feeling of Adi’s soft warmth lying against him. She hadn’t tossed him out last night as he’d half expected. Instead, she’d smiled at him and invited him into her bed, even though she’d been three-quarters asleep at the time.

A sense of relief washed through him, and he tightened his arms about her. God, she was so precious to him. He knew how unfair he’d been in the infirmary, he knew it’d been an asshole move to not even reach out his hand for her to hold, but… John’s thoughts stuttered. He just… couldn’t. Everything in him rebelled against letting people see what was between them. He swallowed heavily, suddenly feeling uncomfortably trapped in the bed.

Realising that Ronon would be along to collect him for their jog in ten minutes or so, John slid out of Adi’s embrace and padded softly across the room to his piles of clothes. He knew he owed Adi a nice long naked hug, several hours at least of lying together in the suite as Adi explored his body. John’s nether regions clenched in anticipation of another Adi-inspired orgasm, and he shivered lightly. Turning back towards the bed, he could see Adi had curled up against the pillow he’d slid into his spot. She looked very peaceful there, not troubled at all by the sounds of him moving around the room.

A sense of belonging struck John then as he realised how completely Adi trusted him. Not just to sleep with him against her body where her subconscious would know where he was in relation to her, but to accept his presence in her room while she, herself, was sleeping. To not react to the noise he was making as he finished dressing, sliding his feet into his sneakers and pulling them into place.

Shaking his head at his own confusion of emotions, John let himself out of the room, pausing to ensure Atlantis relocked the door before heading for his own quarters to be ready when Ronon arrived.

Ronon was running a few minutes late and that was all to the good, because John had suddenly remembered he was still on light duties until Carson gave him the all-clear. “Hey big guy,” he said as he opened his door to Ronon’s knock. “Are you willing to go slow for me, or do you want to jog alone?”

Ronon looked him up and down. “If we’re going on that mission today, you need to be fit. No wimping out, Sheppard.”

John sighed knowing there was no way around it now. “Okay, let’s go then,” he said, and Ronon grinned ferally at him, turning back towards the transporter.

They jogged in companionable silence for over an hour, and John was relieved to note that Ronon did set an easier pace than usual. He was pleased with how his lungs felt. He’d been a bit worried they’d cause him problems, but it seemed they’d recovered from the blasts of hot air he’d been obliged to gasp down.

As usual, Ronon ran in silence and John’s mind had free reign to wander. At first his thoughts were all for Adi, but slowly his mind moved on and began to consider the slight shift in his relationship with his XO, and what that might mean once Adi decided that she did want to bond with Lorne as well with John. He pushed aside the small frisson of discomfort that thought caused in favour of focussing on the logistics of the situation.

Caldwell’s touchy attitude to the possibility that Lorne had slept with Adi on Capeliga had made John wary of the likely reaction from the IOA and the SGC if they learned that the Military Commander of Atlantis was sexually involved with one of their Pegasus allies. But that worry diminished into negligibility in comparison with the potential backlash if those organisations learned that the Military Commander was sharing the intimate attentions of that ally with his XO.

John snorted slightly as he jogged along, Ronon’s feet pounding companionably at his side. If Lorne and he ever ended up in the same bed with Adi, for whatever reason – protection, defence, isolation – if Earth ever discovered that such a thing had happened, that would definitely be it for both Lorne’s and his own career.

John slowed slightly, taking a sip from his water bottle as he considered the options. The only thing he knew for certain was that he wasn’t willing to give Adi up. So that meant he needed to find a way to make sure his own relationship wasn’t seen as a problem, and also find a way to ensure that the almost-certainty of Adi bonding with Evan as well as himself was less offensive to the narrow-minded people on Earth.

John’s mind whirled around, pecking away at this problem as he and Ronon rounded the far end of the west pier and turned their steps towards the south pier. By the time they’d circled the end of that one and were moving towards the east pier, John had realised that he needed to distance himself immediately from the happenings on Capeliga. Lorne should be put in charge of overseeing the next couple of months as the house repairs were finished and the pethri-tracking was fully bedded down, and should be the one to make the decisions – with Adi’s input – over what to plant in which fields and so on. If John had no involvement, the IOA would have far less opportunity to point fingers at him for setting up his girlfriend’s homeworld to suit the two of them. But, since John was quite convinced that Lorne would eventually win Adi’s heart, as soon as the initial set-up was complete, Lorne needed to hand the overseeing role of Capeliga over to… say... Sergeant Coughlin.

John took a moment to consider those decisions and then, feeling confident with his solution, he moved his mind forward to the next problem – him and Evan sharing Adi’s close, personal affections. That thought wasn’t as uncomfortable this morning as it had seemed when he’d woken in the infirmary yesterday. It was pretty obvious where they were headed, and even if Adi was currently sticking just to John, he knew he needed to work out how to handle the inevitable moment when she came to tell him she wanted Evan in her bonding group too.

As he and Ronon rounded the final point on their circuit and turned back towards the central tower, John decided that he needed to review all the points where he and Evan were the only two people involved in decision-making and widen that field out, so it could never be perceived as collusion. That meant that Sergeant Stackhouse, as a minimum, should be part of every brainstorming session they had about forward planning. And maybe Sergeant Timmons as well. If they were going to be moving him to a Team Leader position, then he could also cross-train for all the other duties in the command portfolio.

That felt good actually and John smiled as he jogged. The SGC were really falling down in sending them commissioned officers, so it was time to adjust the command responsibilities to train up the marine Sergeants to fill in for either Lorne or himself, should either of them fall.

John’s brow furrowed as he remembered that he had nearly fallen; he could so easily have died in that jumper explosion. That thought solidified his thinking, making him feel he had justification for altering the division of duties and ensuring more people were involved in the running of Atlantis. He and Evan were both working in high-risk jobs, either one of them could be lost at any moment.

John shoved the thought of losing Evan away with the skill of long practice, and smiled lightly as he nodded to himself in satisfaction. His near-miss just a few days before could be the visible catalyst for these changes, and that would mean no-one would need to know of his personal concerns about his relationship with Adi, or her relationship with Evan, or him and Evan sharing one woman between them.

Ronon was looking sideways at him as they approached the transporter doors, slowing their pace to a walk for the last hundred metres.

“What?” John asked.

“You look happy,” Ronon said, still eyeing him oddly.

John laughed. “I’m always happy, Chewy! You know that.”

Ronon shook his head. “Not like that.” And then he buffeted John on the shoulder, grinning as he said, “Glad it’s working out with you and Adi.”

John started to correct him, but then realised that a lot of his happiness was stemming from the fact that he’d worked out how to keep Adi without upsetting his Earth bosses, so he grinned back, nodding as he said, “Thanks. Me too.”

***** *****

The weather on Chinchal was warm and sunny, and Rodney, his enthusiasm already in overdrive with the thought of lifting these people out of the dark ages and away from the bucket brigade they used to water their crops, was in full flight as they hiked from the gate to the village.

John had been medically cleared by Carson, although the doctor hadn’t been best pleased to hear of his early morning jog. But with that hurdle out of the way, he’d gathered the engineering and medical staff, along with his own team, and ten of the marines, and had given them the mission briefing.

They’d had to wait on the gate room floor, of course, while Sergeant Glover led his non-ATA team through the gate first to check for the Genii’s ATA device, but once the all-clear was received they were through and moving.

John walked along next to Rodney, feeling calm and contented as he listened to the babbling commentary. It was peaceful here and John expected the day to go well. The people of Chinchal were always welcoming and friendly.

Their contingent had obviously been spotted. The local children came running towards them when they emerged from the grasslands at the edge of the village, and the Lanteans were soon engulfed in a flock of cheerfully happy kids, all bouncing around them, talking vociferously.

Sinsha, the village Leader, approached, a warm smile on his face. “Welcome, Colonel, and well met. We are pleased that you have returned as you promised.”

Rodney launched himself into the conversation at this point, excitedly describing all the materials the marines were carrying and how the reticulation system would work. Sinsha nodded politely through it all, happy to see Dr McKay so engaged with the process.

When Rodney started to wind down, Sinsha pointed behind him. “We have refreshments laid out for you, and then Cataro will be pleased to accompany you to the fields. You may dazzle her with your descriptions. I am certain she will have a greater chance of understanding all that you have told me.”

He led the way, the Lanteans following behind, and John sat - as tradition dictated - and drank the local beverage and ate the local oat-cakes with berry jam. It was always a tasty way to start the visit.

Cataro and Rodney were happily engaged in science-talk and the marines were making conversation with the parents of the children who had welcomed them, and John felt all his worries sliding away at the welcome they always received here. Carson had gone off to set up his clinic, Teyla at his side, and John turned his attention to the conversation, knowing his contribution today would be as brawn rather than brains. He didn’t mind. The bruising from the explosion had almost completely settled now, and he was looking forward to being a bit more active after being stuck in the infirmary for those two days.

It was mid-afternoon when John straightened up from where he’d been digging the last of the trenches and leaned backwards, stretching his muscles out. He was feeling nicely sore, and the prospect of Adi perhaps massaging these muscles he’d been using today was giving him some very happy thoughts. 

He lifted his shovel and made his way across to where the engineers were constructing the reticulation system. Rodney was both helping and hindering, and Zelenka glanced at him with gratitude as John drew him aside. “Hey, McKay, how’s it going?”

“Good, good!” Rodney rubbed his hands together. “The pump is all set up down by the river and we’ve checked that it’s operational. Another hour or so and all the piping should be in the ground, then it’s just a case of hooking it up and pressing go.”

John grinned at him. “Good work, buddy. I’m going to get a drink, are you coming?”

Rodney glanced over his shoulder but, really, he was just overseeing the process. Radek and his team of engineers knew their stuff, and it was a basic reticulation system. It didn’t really need his expert input. He nodded and followed John as they crossed to the village centre, settling under a tree and accepting pitchers of the local wine-like drink.

Rodney took a few minutes to enjoy the shade and the chance for a rest – as well as the deliciously refreshing drink – but then his excitement levels bubbled over again and he gave John a very detailed explanation of the progress of the project, full of self-congratulations about how much this simple watering system was going to improve the lives of the Chinchal people.

After a while though, his conversation drifted, as it so often did, towards Susie and his unexpected happiness in having found a woman who understood him so well. He was clearly gearing up to ask John intrusive questions about the progress of his relationship with Adi, when John saw Carson emerge from the clinic building and walk determinedly up the street towards them. He did not look happy.

John sat himself up straight, laying his pitcher down on the ground.

“Ah, Colonel, I’m glad to see you here. I didna want to have to traipse all over the fields looking for you.”

“What’s up, Carson?” John said, getting to his feet.

“It’s Jina, the pregnant lass.” He raised his eyebrows slightly in query and John nodded, indicating he remembered her. “I was a little worried this morning when I first assessed her condition and so I’ve had her resting alongside me as I’ve been treating the other patients. But I feel it would be best if we transferred her to Atlantis now and I perform a caesarean section.”

“Really?” John said, a little startled. He knew Carson generally preferred to assist the natives of Pegasus to give birth naturally, in their own villages, surrounded by their family and friends.

“Aye. I fear we might lose the baby if we delay.”

“Oh, right, okay. I’ll arrange for a jumper then.”

“Thank you, Colonel,” Carson said as he turned away, hurrying back down the street to his patient.

Glancing over at the fields, John could see all of his marines were busy with their assigned tasks. Clearly this was up to him, so, nodding briefly at Rodney, he turned and started to jog his way through the village and out along the path towards the gate.

It only took him fifteen minutes to get there, and he called Atlantis immediately, advising them of the medical emergency. The jumper pilot on duty was through the gate three minutes later and John hitched a ride back, noting Carson’s relieved expression as Corporal Parkes brought the jumper in to land at the side of the clinic building.

The doctor was talking the moment the hatch started to open. “Can you help me with her please, Colonel? I’ve got her lying on the stretcher already.”

“Yeah, sure. Parkes,” John called, turning his head, “you’re with me.”

Jina was just on eight months pregnant and John eyed her swollen stomach with awe. He hadn’t been close to many pregnant women before, and it was a bit freaky to actually see Jina’s abdomen rippling as the baby presumably pushed against the confines of its environment.

He shifted his attention to the stretcher handles and, with the Corporal helping at the other end, they soon had the expectant mother loaded into the jumper. John stepped back. “Parkes’ll fly you back, Carson, and I’ll get the marines to pack up all your gear when they’ve finished in the fields.”

“Aye, thank you,” Carson responded, but it was obvious that his attention was on his patient rather than on what John was saying.

Stepping off the ramp, John called to Parkes to get going and then headed for the fields to see how the reticulation project had progressed in his absence.

***** *****

Adi was busy in the storeroom at the back of the physics lab, entering all the different types of crystals that had been brought back from the underwater facility on Talon World into a register, when a marine suddenly appeared in the doorway.

She gasped, dropping the laptop to the floor as her arms came up in self-defence.

The marine – Corporal Banyon – took a hasty step backwards. “Sorry Ma’am, I didn’t mean to startle you. Dr Beckett sent me. You’re wanted in the infirmary.”

Adi nodded jerkily, acknowledging the marine’s words, but her eyes were wide as she slowed her breathing and brought her emotions back under control. She was safe. She was in the storeroom in Atlantis and this man had merely come to ask for her help.

Letting out a long, slow breath through pursed lips, she bent to pick up the laptop, hoping it hadn’t been damaged in the fall, then followed the marine out of the storeroom into the lab itself. Laying the laptop down on Radek’s desk, Adi smiled a little shakily. “I can find my own way to the infirmary, Corporal, thank you.”

“Oh, um, okay, sure,” he stumbled out. “But um, Dr Beckett ordered me to find you and bring you to him. I’m really sorry, but… I–I think I should walk with you. I’m on duty in the infirmary and I need to go back there anyway.”

Adi nodded, understanding his dilemma. She’d learned early on in her stay on Atlantis that the marines acted under orders at all times and were not permitted to make up their own minds about their actions. “Very well,” she said, then she suddenly smiled, deliberately loosening her taut muscles. “I am sorry to be so jumpy. I had thought myself alone in this lab and I did not hear you approaching.”

Corporal Banyon shook his head. “No, no. It’s okay. I saw your sign, so I knew you were here. I should’ve made more noise, or called out from the lab door or something.” He stopped and caught Adi’s eyes. “I’ll do better next time, Ma’am.”

Adi drew one last deep, calming breath and then nodded. “Thank you. Shall we go?”

The Corporal led the way out of the lab and along the corridor, Adi walking at his side. It was true that it’d been a shock to suddenly see a man looming in the doorway of the storeroom, trapping her inside, but he hadn’t come for nefarious purposes, and even though she barely knew him – only from having read his aura in a stream of newcomers as they walked past the table she’d been sitting at – she could see that he had only good intentions. She would not let her past dictate her future actions any more than she could help.

“Do you know why I have been asked to come?” she asked.

“Um, not really, Ma’am.”

“Please, call me Adi. I am not of your military. You do not need to address me so.” Adi smiled to herself at the baffled look on the young man’s face.

“There was a pregnant woman brought in from off-world,” the Corporal suddenly offered. “Maybe it’s to do with that.”

They were stepping into the transporter now, and Adi nodded as the doors opened and disgorged them into the hallway leading to the infirmary. She would know for sure in a few moments, but at least it didn’t sound as if John or any of his people had been injured during their mission.

She walked through the infirmary doors and instantly heard the sound of a newborn infant. “Oh,” she breathed, “there is a baby.” She turned to Banyon, smiling widely at him and he smiled tentatively back.

“Thank you for your escort, Corporal,” she said, then turned away and followed the sounds of crying to the back of the infirmary where she found Carson and Marie and a very exhausted-looking woman holding a tiny babe.

“Ah, Adi,” Carson said, seeing her arrive. “This is Jina, and we’ve just helped little Vantia into the world.”

“Congratulations, Jina,” Adi said, coming softly to the side of the bed. “It is a great pleasure to meet you at such a joyful moment.”

Jina nodded wearily, but her attention was all for her little one.

Adi turned to Carson. “Do you wish me to heal Jina’s aura?” she asked softly.

“Aye. I wasna sure if there were any tears or bruises or whatever, from the caesarean, but the baby was in jeopardy which is why I brought Jina back to Atlantis. We dinna usually do so, unless there’s a risk to mother or child.”

Adi nodded her understanding. She was watching Jina gazing adoringly at her baby, and memories of her closest friend, Frasidi, holding her own newborn son, the day before the Wraith had come were flooding her mind, causing tears to sparkle in her eyes. She deliberately set those memories aside to consider later, and instead, said, “I would like to help you, Jina. I can repair the damage to your aura from the birthing, and help replenish your energies for the long days ahead. Will this be all right with you?”

Jina glanced up from the baby and then across to where Dr Beckett was still standing. He nodded at her comfortingly and she turned to Adi. “Yes, I would like that.”

Adi smiled gently. “I will need some help from one of my close friends, to give me the energy to assist you. Would it be acceptable if a man unknown to you comes into this room now?” There was great variation in the cultural practices around childbirth on the different planets of Pegasus. Adi’s own world had had no such restrictions, but Shianta had once told the tale of an off-world visit where Tishan had caused a diplomatic incident by accidentally entering the tent of a woman newly delivered.

Jina looked a little uncertain and Adi smiled gently in understanding. “I could ask some of my female friends to come instead, if that is more acceptable to you?”

That suggestion received a relieved nod and Adi turned to Dr Beckett. “Carson, could you please radio Doctors Kusanagi and Simbula and ask if they would be available to assist me at this time?”

It was only five minutes later when the two women appeared, and Adi quickly explained what she was hoping to achieve. They both agreed immediately, and Adi drew them towards the bed where Jina was lying exhausted now, the baby being soothed off to sleep nearby in Marie’s arms. Adi pulled forward a chair, settling into it. “Miko, if you place your hand against the skin on my neck, and Dr Simbula, perhaps you could clasp my forearm, then we can begin.”

Jina’s aura had some damage over the site of the caesarean incision, but that was easily repaired. Adi could’ve done that herself without calling for support, but it was the… the washed-out colours of the new mother’s aura that were troubling her. It was quite clear that Jina had been feeling unwell for some time, her aura trying and failing to keep her in good health, the energies being drained in an attempt to support not just Jina, but the baby as well. Adi thought it was probably a lucky thing for Jina that Dr Beckett had visited with her today. Closing her eyes, Adi leaned a little closer and sent the energy she was drawing from her two support people along with some of her own into Jina’s aura, replenishing and rejuvenating it.

When she eventually opened her eyes, Jina was asleep and the greens of her aura were once again rich and vibrant. Adi smiled to see it as she turned slightly. “Thank you both, very much,” she said to the two scientists. “I appreciate your willingness to assist me with this.”

“It was an honour to be asked, Adi,” Miko said softly. “Has it helped?”

“Oh, yes,” Adi responded, feeling very pleased with the outcome. “Jina’s aura is fully replenished now, and the energies are swirling gently about her in a very pleasing blend of greens.”

She pushed back the chair and stood up, feeling slightly drained from the work she had performed, but also feeling a great sense of accomplishment. Nodding to Carson, Adi slipped out of the room, Miko and Dr Simbula at her heels, and made her way back to the physics lab to continue her crystal audit.

***** *****

John brought his troops home late in the afternoon, proud of what they’d achieved on Chinchal. With all the work in the fields complete, Rodney had triumphantly turned the switch that started up the pump, and the sprinklers had begun to spray water over the crops. Everyone had cheered, and the children had jumped up and down with glee before running forward into the fields and dancing beneath the shower of water. The adults had all been laughing and thanking the Lanteans, and it was in very good spirits that the contingent had walked the half hour back to the gate, the Grooar beast plodding beside them as it hauled their sacks of oats and some haunches of meat in payment for their work here today.

The infirmary check-up hadn’t taken long – although John had stayed back to enquire after Jina’s wellbeing and had glimpsed the tiny baby lying in the makeshift crib at her side. Hearing that all was well with the new mother, John headed for his room, his only thought for the hot shower that awaited him.

He stood beneath the cascade, letting the water soothe his muscles as he slowly soaped off the sweat, dust and dirt from the day. He really enjoyed opportunities to help make a difference in the lives of the local populations. Bringing advanced irrigation to a small village’s crops definitely ticked that box. He was smiling as he towelled himself dry and dressed in clean BDUs.

A quick radio call to Lorne let him know that there were no issues of concern, so John turned his thoughts to finding Adi. It was coming up on dusk so he knew he’d be able to find her in the mess in about an hour or so, but he wanted to find her now. He had nothing more pressing on his agenda, and Adi still hadn’t had that chance to really reassure herself that he was okay after the jumper explosion.

He checked the forest balcony first, then Adi’s room, the botany lab and the chemistry labs. She was in none of those places. Sighing with frustration, John stood in the hallway outside Kavanagh’s lab, wondering where to look next. Then he suddenly remembered Adi asking if she could use the garden at dusk to practice the martial art form of her people. Feeling hopeful, John headed for the south-east pier where the garden was now open and available to all the peoples of Atlantis.

She was there.

He could see her as he exited the transporter. She was standing on the lawn facing the sunset, her arms swinging slowly but purposely about her as she moved through the various positions her people had embraced in their martial art. John slowed his steps as he approached, not wanting to disturb her. He could see a couple of off-duty marines and a few scientists were watching her from the back of the lawn, chatting quietly to one another as Adi moved sinuously in front of them. It was a little reminiscent of watching her dancing in the waterfall actually, and John moved softly across to the cascade and sat on a rock where he had a side-on view.

Adi was deeply enmeshed in her katas. It was very peaceful in the garden and the setting sun was sending wafts of colour up into the sky. Her breathing was deep and even, as she’d been taught, and her body moved smoothly through the practice exercises she’d been doing since she was a small child. It had pleased her to find that, even though it had been more than nine months since she had last stood with her people in this way, she had not lost any of her skill in holding the poses.

A slight sound behind her caught her attention and she swung around, looking for what had caused it. Sitting at the back of the garden were a group of people, and Adi gasped lightly, not having heard any of them arrive. Then she heard John’s voice coming from the direction of the pond.

“Adi, it’s okay. They’re just watching.” John had stood the moment he realised Adi had heard the laughter of the group behind her. “You’re safe, Adi. They don’t mean any harm.”

Adi nodded. “Yes, I can see that.” They were, after all, sitting at a distance and making no move towards her.

“You looked very peaceful,” John said softly, and Adi raised her eyes to his, seeing desire in their depths as he gazed at her.

“It is very peaceful,” she said, then she turned her head to her audience. “But not, I think, if I know that people are watching me.”

Before John could respond, one of the group rose to their feet and walked towards them.

“Hi, Adi.” It was Dr Sanchez, the marine biologist who had shared Adi’s adventure to the underwater reef some time before. “I’m sorry if we startled you. We were really enjoying watching what you were doing, and some of us are wondering if you’d be willing to teach us? The sparring the military offer is a bit intense for us, but what you’re doing looks very calming. More like Tai Chi perhaps, rather than specifically designed to injure people.” He looked at her hopefully and Adi felt herself wanting to say yes.

“I have never taught before, Dr Sanchez,” she said softly. “I was merely one of many, amongst my people.”

“Well, would you mind if we followed your moves, then? Just sort of, copied what you were doing? I think it’d be a nice way to end the day. Soothing, sort of. Peaceful.”

Adi smiled because those were the exact things she herself had been seeking when she’d come out here. She glanced at John, and he correctly interpreted her concerns. “I can roster one of the blue-green marines to come and sit and keep watch, Adi, so you can feel comfortable just letting go and sinking into it, if you want.”

Dr Sanchez’s face fell. “Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. We’d all be behind you, wouldn’t we?”

Adi nodded. “Yes, you would.” She turned to John. “I would very much like that, Colonel, if it would not be disruptive to your rosters.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll make Lorne sort it out.” He smirked and Adi smiled at him, appreciating the gentle humour.

“I expect to come out here most evenings at sunset,” she said, turning back to Dr Sanchez. “As long as Major Lorne can arrange for someone I trust to be with me, I have no objection to you – or anyone else – copying my movements.”

“That’s wonderful! Thanks, Adi.” Dr Sanchez beamed at her, then turned away, hurrying back to the group of silent watchers to tell them the good news.

Adi turned to John. “I had not meant to start a group.”

John shrugged. “Sanchez’s right,” he said as he gestured for them to start the walk to the mess. “There’s not so much that’s suitable for the less athletic civilians. The ones that regularly go off-world have to be pretty fit, but the others don’t, and Ronon’s class – even Teyla’s – can be a bit daunting. What you’re doing here would be very attractive to a lot of the civvies. Probably to some of the military too. A chance to do something calm and quiet, without that constant thought in the back of your mind that you’re learning skills so you can defend yourself from someone trying to kill you.”

Adi paused, putting her hand on John’s arm. “It saddens me that so many of your people live this way, Colonel.” She dropped her hand hurriedly, suddenly remembering that they weren’t alone out here.

John shrugged again. “It’s just the way it is, Adi. The military are here in Atlantis to keep the civilians safe. Our lives for theirs.” He started walking again and Adi followed him, his words running through her mind as she went.

Chapter Text

John sat through dinner with his team, wishing that Adi had joined their table this evening. They’d walked to the mess together, but as they’d been selecting their foods Adi had seen Stackhouse waving at her, so she had smiled gently at John and gone off to sit at the Sergeant’s table. She was good friends with Stackhouse and his team and John knew that she was used to sitting where John wasn’t, because he’d always shown himself to be uncomfortable when she was beside him where people could see, but tonight the desire to have her hands on him, on his skin, was thrumming through him, and he was very hopeful that she had no plans for the evening that would prevent them heading to their suite the moment dinner was over.

It seemed he was in luck. He’d finished his meal in record time and had just been making small talk, marking time until Adi was ready to leave, so when he saw Stackhouse and his team standing up, John stood too, making his smiling excuses. He slowly crossed the mess, timing his arrival at the bussing station for when Stackhouse and his men had finished and Adi was about to scrape her plate.

He stood beside her, dealing with his own dishes, and then they walked together out of the mess, seemingly chance met acquaintances.

As they entered the hallway, the transporter doors were just closing on the Sergeant’s team, and John leaned down towards Adi as they walked. “Are you free now, Adi? Can we go to the suite?” He hadn’t meant it to sound so desperate, but actually, he was pretty desperate to lie with her. To just be them, alone together, awake and enjoying each other. So many things had happened since they’d last had that chance, and the need to feel Adi’s soft hands caressing his chest was pretty hard to contain.

Adi cocked her head up at him, a slightly confused look on her face at his tone of voice, but she nodded at him. “I have no plans for this evening, John, so if you are at liberty then I would very much like the chance to spend some time alone with you.”

Just hearing those words had John’s heart clenching in his chest and he reached out to press their destination on the transporter pad, wishing they were already in the suite, clothes gone and skin pressing together.

They emerged from the transporter into their deserted tower and John immediately reached for Adi’s hand, clasping it warmly in his own as they started up the stairs towards the top floor. Adi smiled up at him, her dimples showing. “You are in an unusual mood this evening, John. I have not known you to be so eager before to spend time alone with me.”

John glanced at her, bemused at her remark. “I, um, I’m often ‘eager’, Adi… I just… I manage to… uh, hide it better.”

Adi’s eyes shimmered with joy, and her smile grew wider. “Is this true, John? Do you often feel this way?”

“God, yes!” he said, opening the doors with a thought and drawing her into the room. He gazed at her for a moment, all his concerns over his behaviour in the infirmary coming back to him. “Adi, I-I always want to… to spend time with you. I just… I’m not good at… at letting it show. And I don’t… I don’t know why that is, but I… I don’t want you to… ever think that… that I… don’t want you.” He huffed out a breath, emotionally exhausted at having managed to express his fears.

Adi gazed at him, her eyes holding his with understanding written deep inside. “John, I have never felt that you do not want me.” She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. “I am aware that you have very deep feelings and that you struggle to express them. I understand that you have spent years having to totally suppress every intimate feeling you have had, because otherwise you would have been punished by your military. It is no surprise that you do not wish others to see what you feel, even for me. I do not hold you to blame for feeling this way, John.”

John’s brow furrowed lightly as he processed her words. “You mean… you… It’s because of Evan…”

Adi nodded. “And Rodney, when you felt that you had tender feelings for him, before you realised you think of him as a brother.” She tilted her head slightly, squeezing his hand as she said, “John, you have spent your entire adult life having to hide who you are from those around you. I understand that to let your community see that you have feelings for me will be very challenging for you because you have lived under the threat of penalty for far too long. Please, do not let this trouble you.”

John swallowed heavily. “But… in the infirmary…”

Adi smiled sadly. “Yes, I should very much have liked to have curled up in your embrace, and to have felt your heart beating against my own, John. To have hugged you or sat at your side, holding your hand and feeling your skin and your aura blending with mine. But I understood why it was not possible. And I was not… angry with you, John. I did not… resent the way you interacted with me.”

“Wow!” John breathed softly. “Just…” He suddenly reached out and drew Adi into his arms, holding her tightly against him. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Adi. Any other woman would’ve dumped me on the spot for how I treated you in the infirmary. And then for walking out the other day when Elizabeth radioed me.”

Adi, who had been relishing the hug, drew back in astonishment. “But, John, you were on duty. To have ignored Dr Weir would have been quite out of keeping with your integrity. I was not troubled by your actions.” She paused, frowning slightly. “No, I was troubled, but not because you left me to meet with Dr Weir. I was simply sorry that we had not had the chance to spend more time together.” She smiled then, her whole face lighting up. “But we have time now. Let us not waste any more of it in worrying about what has gone before. Shall we light our candles? I am very much looking forward to lying naked with you, John, and feeling your warmth settling against my skin.”

John nodded dazedly. That sounded pretty good to him, too, but he was still struggling with Adi being so accepting of who he was. Pushing that aside for now in favour of getting to the naked stage, John picked up the lighter and made a start, watching as Adi took one of the lit candles and disappeared into the bedroom. 

He joined her there a few minutes later, enjoying the soft glow in the room, the candlelight gilding the bed in warm shades of gold. Adi was already starting to undress. She smiled at him in welcome and John felt his body responding to the suggestion behind that smile. God, he hoped there was going to be some sensual touching in his evening.

 He sat on the end of the bed and started unlacing his boots, his eyes on Adi as she carefully disrobed, revealing more and more of her body as she made a neat pile of her clothes. She was finished before he was and John swallowed heavily as his eyes travelled down Adi’s curves, lingering at her beautifully rounded breasts, then sliding lower to the curve of her stomach and the swell of her hips, and down again to the tight dark curls that were hiding her soft folds. He lifted his eyes back up to meet hers, flushing slightly.

Adi was smiling at him though, untroubled by his regard. She settled herself on the bed, lying on her side, and watched as John finished removing his clothes. When he was done, he laid down on the bed next to her, keeping his hands by his side, and Adi slid across to him, snuggling carefully in against him and sighing in contentment.

John’s aura had blended with hers the moment she touched him, the energies settling immediately into a synchronicity that was delightfully uplifting. She could hear his heart - its beat strong and regular - beneath her head, and she reached out her hand and set it to softly exploring John’s chest as she breathed in the rich scents of his body, just letting the fact of his continued existence settle into her soul. “I am so very glad that you survived, John.”

“Me too,” he said, leaning his head down to place a gentle kiss against her hair. “I had to do it, Adi, but I’m really glad I get to still be here, with you.”

They lay quietly together for a few minutes, Adi breathing calmly in and out, her fingers moving softly against John’s skin. Her thoughts weren’t as calm though. Something had been building in her, a need to try and push herself harder. If John had died in the jumper explosion, she would have lost him without ever having truly been with him. Suddenly, she sat up. “I would very much like to kiss you, John, but I have been wondering… may I… may I sit across your body and lean forward to kiss you? I think it will be more comfortable than what we have tried before.”

“To straddle me, you mean? Like I did when I was… massaging you?”

“Yes! Like that. Only… I will need to sit high enough not to be able to feel your… your erection, John, because I do not think I will manage to remain calm if I can actually… feel… it… pushing against me.”

John shivered lightly, a sudden sense-image of Adi slowly lowering herself onto his turgid cock springing into his mind. Pushing that thought away, he nodded. “Sure, let’s try.”

Adi maneuvered herself up and over John’s body, slowly lowering herself so she came to rest just above his belly button, her knees bent and feet down by his hips. She smiled down at him, but John’s eyes were captivated by her shapely breasts, dangling right there above him like ripe peaches ready for plucking.

“John?” Adi asked, her voice uncertain. “Is anything wrong?”

“Nothing,” John rasped out. “Come kiss me, Adi.”

Adi smiled, her dimples coming into view as she lowered herself forward, her breasts squashing gently against the firm muscles of John’s chest as she brought her lips down to his. John lifted his hand and rested the back, very carefully, against Adi’s shoulder, but there was no reaction from Adi at all. It seemed her whole attention was on the point where their lips were tasting one another, and John felt a moment of victory that she was allowing him to touch her while they were kissing without having had to verbally negotiate it first.

She opened her mouth and he slid his tongue inside, relishing the moist warmth and the soft, tantalising taste of her tongue.

Adi’s fingers gently caressed his skin as the kiss slowly became deeper and more intimate, and John could feel the reaction in his boxers. Any moment now, and it wasn’t going to matter how far up his chest Adi was sitting, she was bound to feel—

And then she did, and suddenly she was sliding jerkily off his body, gulping as she came to rest beside the bed, eyes wide as she stared at him.

John had clenched his hands in among the sheets, holding himself still as Adi’s body had slithered past the tip of his cock. “It’s okay, Adi,” he rasped out, and she nodded. Her eyes slid down his body until they were staring directly at his boxers, and John could feel his cock responding, thickening and lengthening even more, until his boxers were distended almost beyond the point they could contain.

“John,” Adi whispered, gently biting her bottom lip. “Would you… Do you think you could… Would you mind if…” She stopped and huffed out a breath, her arms snaking around her waist. “Usually at this time you take yourself into the bathroom and bring yourself to completion there, alone.”

John nodded, the thought of the orgasm that was just around the corner making his breathing speed up. He tightened his fists in the sheet, forcing himself to stay still. Adi was currently between him and the bathroom, and he didn’t think leaping off the bed in her direction would be very well received right now.

Adi seemed to realise that herself at that moment, and she moved down the side bed until she was standing at the bottom. “John,” she said determinedly, her voice wavering only a little. “Would you please… would you…”

John gazed at her, trying to work out what she was asking. “Adi? Do you want to, um… to see me… doing that?” He could feel the wash of embarrassed colour rising through his cheeks, but Adi was nodding at the end of the bed, and it was all John could do to keep his hands at his sides and not reach for his cock on the spot.

“Yes. I would like to see, John, as you said. Would you… would you take off your boxers and let me watch, as you… as you stroke yourself?”

“Fuck,” John whispered, the idea of doing that in front of Adi nearly derailing his mind completely. Taking a deep breath, he muttered out, “Um, yeah, okay,” because he was going to need to deal with the situation in his boxers one way or another, and frankly the sooner he did, the better. “Are you gonna stand down there or get back on the bed?”

There was silence for a moment as Adi considered his question. To be so close to John when he was this aroused was unsettling, to say the least. And yet… he had never, not once, forced her in any way to do something she did not wish to do. Her trust in him ran very deep. Taking a breath, she said, “If I were to be beside you on the bed, John, would you promise—”

“Yes,” John said, his voice gravelly with lust. “Yes, I promise I won’t touch you. Just myself. I’ll just touch myself.” He swallowed heavily, the need sizzling through his veins.

Adi nodded and climbed up onto the bed, settling herself beside him, just out of easy reaching range. God, John desperately wanted her hands on him, but even this was a step forward and maybe one day soon… He unclenched his fists and slid his hands down his sides, finding the waistband of his boxers and lifting his hips from the bed as he pushed them down. Bending his knees, he kicked the fabric free and turned his head to Adi as his right hand slowly wrapped around his shaft. Christ he was hard.

“Can I watch you, Adi, as I… as I…?”

Adi glanced at him and smiled a little tremulously, but her voice was strong as she said, “Of course, John, if you wish to.” Her eyes swung immediately back to John’s crotch and he watched as a wash of pale pink overtook her face. His hand tightened around his shaft and he began to stroke, gathering the precum from the glans with his thumb and using it to lubricate his movements. He was close to the edge already, feeling Adi’s eyes on him, watching him doing this…

It didn’t feel like masturbation normally felt when he was alone in his shower with just his thoughts, or escaping to the bathroom here to take care of his needs without Adi being involved. This… this felt like having sex with Adi, her eyes on him, her skin flushed with the knowledge of what he was doing.

John’s breathing sped up until he was gasping for air, his whole body alight with arousal, his hand tightening as he frantically worked himself closer and closer to the edge. His eyes were locked to Adi’s face, his eyelids flickering as he tipped over the precipice, his cock pulsing in his hand as the fire raced through his veins, overwhelming his senses. He cried out, a nonsensical string of letters, feeling the orgasm washing through him, lifting him up and tearing him apart before slowly putting him back together.

When he eventually managed to open his eyes again, Adi was still sitting on the bed beside him. She was staring at his crotch and John opened his hand, letting his limp cock tumble down against his stomach. He started to reach his hand out towards her before realising it was covered in cum. Raising his eyes up to meet Adi’s, he saw the slight tension around her eyes and her mouth, and he pulled his hand back in, laying it on his stomach amidst the mess he’d made. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, and Adi nodded.

“I am, John. It was very… beautiful to watch you bringing yourself pleasure. I wonder if you might… Could you please…”

“Sure, of course,” John said, instantly understanding what she wanted. He slid off the bed and made his way to the bathroom, wetting the towel and washing himself off thoroughly, making sure none of the cum smell remained. 

When he came back out, Adi was curled up in the bed on her side, facing towards him. She smiled at him, and he felt his own smile take over his face. This was the furthest he and Adi had come along the path to intimacy, and it felt pretty fucking awesome that she trusted him enough to sit right next to him as he jerked himself off. Feeling all sorts of tender feelings, John slid into the bed beside her, drawing her close and sliding his arms around her.

“Thank you, John,” Adi whispered, and John leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

“That’s my line, Adi. That was… amazing.”

Adi huffed gently against his chest. “I wish I could… that I could have brought myself to be a part of what you were doing, John.”

“You were, Adi. You… you were right there with me, watching me. That’s a huge step forward.” He felt Adi’s head move as she nodded.

“John,” she whispered a few minutes later.

“Mmm?” he responded sleepily.

“Oh, you are falling asleep. It is of no matter.”

“No,” John said, forcing himself to be more awake. “What did you want to ask?”

“I very much enjoyed kissing you earlier, and now that you are safely sated, I wondered if I could do so again?”

John felt a flicker of interest from his groin, but instantly suppressed it. “Uh, yeah, sure. I…” He took a deep breath, finding it was getting easier to say embarrassing personal things. “I really like kissing you, Adi. Anytime you want to do that, I’m your guy.”

Adi sat up, an amused smile on her face, her dimples showing. In the flickering light from the candles she looked stunningly beautiful and John gazed in awe, wondering how the hell he’d got so lucky as to have this woman in his life.

“May I lie on top of you, John, as before?” 

He nodded, and Adi slowly mounted him. She settled herself a bit lower down this time, knowing that John had already reached his completion and so was unlikely to grow hard again.

“Adi?” John suddenly asked. “Can I…? Um, I’d like to try… moving my hands on your body, while… while you’re kissing me. Would that… be okay?”

“How do you mean, John?” Adi asked, wariness taking over her expression as she sat fully upright across his stomach.

“Well, just running my hands up and down your sides, maybe. Or… can I cup your shoulders, rather than just balancing the back of my hand there?”

Adi gazed down at this beautiful man who always treated her so gently, who accepted all of her limitations without ever making her feel badly for them, who had shared something wondrous with her earlier with no hint of complaint that she had sat beside him, rather than touching him, as his body was engulfed in ecstasy. “Yes,” she said. “Let us try.”

“You’re so fucking brave, Adi,” John said softly, seeing the fear behind the smile she was showing him. “Which would you prefer, the shoulder thing or the moving hands on your sides?”

Adi thought about that for a while, sitting on top of John and feeling his stomach rising and falling softly beneath her as he breathed. “I think… I do not think I will cope well with you holding my shoulders, because it will feel as if you can control my body that way,” she said slowly, consideringly. “And I am unsure how I will react if you touch my sides. But John, do you remember the night you massaged me?”

John nodded and Adi went straight on. “You moved your hands up and down my arms and over my shoulders and my torso. Shall we try that?”

John smiled up at her, nodding eagerly. “Yeah, okay. Arms, shoulders, constantly moving, never gripping. Yeah?”

Adi nodded, her shoulders relaxing a little at John’s ready acceptance. She gazed at him, a slight sparkle of tears in her eyes at how safe John made her feel. “I am so very grateful for you, John,” she said softly. “So very grateful that you are willing to take these tiny steps with me, and cherish me as we do so.”

John gazed up at her, his heart swelling with love for this woman. “You… you make it… easy… Adi,” he said softly. “It’s so easy to…” he paused, taking a settling breath, “to… to love you.”

Adi’s eyes filled with joy and she leaned her body down, her hands coming up to cup John’s face as she brought their lips together. It was a sweet kiss, and all the sweeter for John as he slowly brought his hands up to Adi’s shoulders and started to glide them down her arms and back up again. It was the first time he’d been able to truly touch Adi while he was kissing her, and he felt the joy of it rushing through him in swirl of delight as he settled deeper into the kiss, his hands in constant motion, sliding over Adi’s skin, feeling her firm muscles, her warmth bleeding into his own body.

The kiss deepened and then deepened again, their tongues tangling as their lips moved in gentle caress. Adi’s breathing grew more and more ragged as her body roused to John’s touch. She was enjoying the feel of his hands moving across her skin, so many extra points of sensation to process, and eventually she sat up, gasping for breath.

As she straightened up, her dusky nipples had come into view, taut with arousal and John’s eyes were drawn to them, fixating on her breasts. If he hadn’t lifted his hands off her the moment she’d started to draw away from the kiss, he would’ve been sliding them up towards those enticing mounds right now.

“Adi?” he asked, desperately wanting to draw one of those nipples into his mouth. “Do you remember, the first time I kissed you, I told you those kisses were only the beginning of what could be?”

Adi nodded, unsure where John was going with this. She was feeling gloriously alive, her body covered in goosebumps, an unfamiliar feeling grasping low in her belly.

“Please…” John went on, his voice pleading, “please, will you let me suckle your nipples?”

Adi jolted slightly, glancing down her own chest and seeing her nipples were firm and standing out from her breasts. She lifted a hand up and cupped her right breast, her thumb gliding over the nipple. She gasped lightly as a spark of sensation speared through her body to her groin, her eyes coming up to meet John’s in startlement.

“It’ll feel good, Adi, I promise,” John rasped out, his mouth watering at the sight of Adi’s gloriously dark pink nipples, only inches away.

“John,” Adi said, her voice a little shaky. “You seem very… eager. Will you promise—?”

“Yes,” John said, cutting her off. “I won’t hurt you, Adi. I just want to have your nipples in my mouth. It’ll feel good for you. Please?”

Adi gazed down at him for a moment, but it was hard for her to deny him this when he had given her so much without asking anything for himself in return. She raised herself up slightly on her knees and leaned forward, bringing her left breast over John’s mouth, then slowly lowered herself down.

The feeling of warmth and moisture as John’s lips touched her nipple made Adi gasp, but when he slid his lips higher and sucked it startled a moan from her as a spark of sensation speared down between her legs. “Oh,” she mumbled, “Oh, John, that feels… Oh!”

John rasped his tongue over her nipple and the sensations bloomed through her whole body, lighting all her nerves on fire.

It was too much, and Adi suddenly pulled back, sliding off him completely until she was standing on the floor, her arms wrapped about herself. “John,” she whispered, her arms tightening. “What is happening to me?”

John was breathing heavily, lying on his back and staring straight up at the ceiling, forcing himself not to reach for Adi, not to pull her back down where he could suckle on her nipples, fondle her breasts, run his hands over her whole fucking body, lift her onto his slowly stiffening cock and impale her as he thrust up into her body and brought them both to heaven. But no… she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready for any of it. He huffed out a couple more breaths then rolled onto his side, facing her. “It’s arousal, Adi. It’s… it’s your body, wanting mine.”

Adi’s eyes widened and flicked down to John’s groin, seeing the evidence that he wasn’t as sated as she’d thought. Her mouth fell open as her brows drew together, but John’s voice interrupted her sudden fear.

“I’m safe, Adi. You’re safe. It’s okay. This… this is normal. This… this is what people do… what they feel… when they… when they… love… each other.”

Adi brought her eyes back to meet John’s, seeing the sincerity in his gaze, hearing the sincerity in his tone as he’d spoken of his feelings for her. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears at the obvious affection and care this man had for her. She had never once seen any of the Bola Kai hold themselves back once they were aroused. Even amongst her own people, she’d never seen anyone stop themselves once they had begun to make love. But John had stopped. For her.

“May I hug you, John?”

John nodded, beyond grateful that Adi was okay with this. It had to be hell scary to suddenly experience feelings of arousal when you never had before. He rolled onto his back, pulling up the sheet to hide his deflating erection, but Adi reached out her hand. “I would like you to stand with me John, and hold me, here, by the bed.”

John slid out of the bed and stood there, the evidence of his own arousal still visible. Adi stepped in close against him, twitching back a little and moving her hips to the side when she encountered the firmness against her body. She slid her arms around him and laid her cheek against his chest, and John’s arms came up to enfold her, softly, carefully, lovingly. Then she melted against him, and John let out a sigh of relief. She was okay. He leaned his head down against her hair and just held her, letting her know without words that he was there for her, in any way that she would let him be. In any way she needed.

Eventually, Adi drew a deep breath and slowly drew back from the hug. “I think I have gone as far as I can for now, John. I would like to sleep in my own bed tonight with your body beside me and your arms wrapped around me. Would you like that too?”

John nodded. He was happy to sleep anywhere Adi wanted him to, provided he could hold her in his arms while he did it. No longer either surprised or embarrassed by his own feelings, he turned to find his clothes, dressing as quickly as he could. The sooner they reached Adi’s room, the sooner he could strip off again and curl himself around this precious woman, hold her safe until morning.

***** *****

Evan walked into the conference room the next morning and stuttered to a stop, his dismayed eyes taking in his CO’s very relaxed body. It was only a moment before he started up again, heading for his chair, but his mind was whirling with the evidence that the Colonel had clearly spent the night with Adi in the suite, and just as clearly, it’d ended very well for him.

“Is anything wrong, Major Lorne?” Teyla asked, having witnessed his unusual entry.

“No, everything’s fine,” he said as he sat, wondering how everyone in this room wasn’t aware of the Colonel’s nocturnal activities. But gazing at him surreptitiously as Dr Weir came in and took her seat, Evan realised it wasn’t all that obvious… to anyone who hadn’t made a character study of John Sheppard’s body language. But Evan had, and that’s why the extra looseness in John’s sprawl, the lessening of the tension lines around his eyes, the light smile dancing around his lips, all told the story of what had happened last night.

Thrusting down his unwanted jealousy, Evan turned his attention to the meeting. But as Dr Weir was about to begin, Rodney suddenly tapped his radio and started talking to someone in the science department, raising his hand in an apologetic gesture, and so Evan was left with nothing to distract him from his own feelings.

The thing was, he’d really enjoyed snuggling with Adi under her blankets on the pier the other night. Really enjoyed it. At the time, it’d felt like some much-needed comfort – for them both. But in retrospect, he’d had the chance to lie with the woman he loved cradled in his arms for hours, the infinite blaze of stars above them, the soft night air about them, and the gentle shushing of the Capeligan blankets moving across his skin in sultry suggestion of all the things he wanted to do with Adi.

But she wasn’t his.

She belonged to the man sitting opposite him, and that fact was very apparent this morning. Evan sighed sadly, turning his head to gaze out the window as Rodney spoke more and more tersely to whomever had fucked up in the science labs this morning.

Feeling someone’s eyes on him, Evan turned his head back to the room, only to realise it was the Colonel, staring at him in concern. Evan stared back, noting the softening of the muscles around John’s mouth, and suddenly John’s eyes widened and his skin flushed as he realised what Evan had worked out. He immediately straightened, pulled his notepad closer and averted his gaze, his face a lovely light fuschia colour. 

If Evan had had his paints to hand, he could’ve created a very nice ‘embarrassed Lieutenant Colonel’ portrait. Huffing out a quiet laugh at the thought, Evan felt his mood lightening. It wasn’t John’s fault that Adi had chosen him, and it wasn’t Adi’s fault that she’d fallen for John. He was an incredible guy, any way you looked at it. Drawing a deep breath, Evan reminded himself that he was glad they had one another. And hey, he still got to spend time with Adi, even if it was only in friendship.

Having reached that point in his ruminations, Evan realised Dr McKay had finished eviscerating his incompetent staff and the meeting was now beginning. Pulling his mind together, he forced himself to focus on the matters at hand.

It was a long meeting with much to discuss, and Elizabeth was keeping an iron hand on the side chat, not wanting the meeting to be derailed by John and Rodney bantering, as they were wont to do at every opportunity.

“We’ve got the Peluvian mission on the schedule now,” John explained, “rostered in and ready to go. And Lorne and I have decided to give up on the SGC ever sending us any new Lieutenants, so Sergeant Timmons is going to be elevated to a Team Leader position, and he’ll be leading that Peluvian mission.”

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows but made no comment, just noting something down on the pad in front of her before lifting her eyes back up and moving them to Teyla. “Do you have anything today, Teyla?” she prompted.

Teyla leaned forward slightly, feeling a little uncertain of how her suggestion would be met. It was certainly unusual, but she felt it had merit. “I have been reflecting on how we may better support our allies to defend themselves against the Wraith and I have had an idea. It came to me when I saw the very large rock that was in place on Talon World that prevented the jumpers passing through the gate, and also of course, the cliff-face in front of the gate on Badagh. Obviously, they were not placed there to prevent jumpers, but to prevent the Wraith from bringing their darts through, and the barriers are most effective. Would it be possible, now that we have the Avenger, to assist our allies to improve their defences by locating and placing large rocks of this nature in front of their gates, as well?”

Eyebrows were raised all around the table as the Senior Staff considered the suggestion.

Typically, it was Rodney who spoke first. “But then we’d have to walk everywhere because we’d be blocking access for our own jumpers. And some of our allies are a long way from the gate, Teyla.”

“But we would be aware of the issue, Rodney, and so could fly the jumper very slowly through the gate, and then ascend until we were above the rock barrier.” She leaned further forward, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. “The Wraith darts come through the gate at an enormous velocity. They would have no way of knowing that those gates had become inaccessible and so the darts would be crushed as soon as they emerged. Obviously this will not prevent cullings from hives in orbit, but I would like to think we could assist with reducing cullings from darts coming through the gate.”

“It’s an excellent idea, Teyla,” Evan said, and John nodded his support as he started to voice his own thoughts.

“We’ll need to get McKay and his people to calculate the exact distance we need for the jumpers – I’d like to leave a little leeway if we can because only Lorne and I are actual pilots and I don’t want any accidents from our less skilled personnel, but it should be easy enough to work out. And then we’ll need you to also work out how the Avenger can best carry rocks around, Rodney.” John smirked at him, and Rodney rolled his eyes.

“As usual, it all comes down to the scientists to make the idea work.”

“Yup,” John said, picking up his pen and flicking it up into the air where it circled, end over end until he caught it again. “Scientists are really cool people who can make anything work.”

Rodney smiled then sighed, clearly caught between being chuffed and acting put-upon. “All right, I’ll get my people onto it.”

John grinned. “Great idea, Teyla.”

Elizabeth smiled too, before turning to Ronon. “Do you have anything to raise today, Ronon?”

Ronon shook his head and Elizabeth turned her attention to Evan. “Anything from you, Major?”

“Yes, a few things. The Wargames for the other half of the marines has been scheduled, and we’ll be meeting in the next week or so to finalise the details of that.”

Elizabeth nodded and John did too, making a mental note to ensure they didn’t take every blue-green marine Adi was comfortable with off-world at the same time. He frowned slightly, remembering Lorne saying Adi needed to get to know all the blue-greens in a safe setting so she’d be familiar with them if she needed their support in an emergency.

“Something wrong, Colonel?” Elizabeth asked, and John shook his head.

“No, just remembered something I need to discuss with Lorne later. Carry on, Major,” he added quickly, not wanting to talk about Adi’s needs this morning, not with Lorne apparently having worked out where and how he’d spent his evening.

John could feel another blush coming on as Lorne glanced down at his notes. “Just two more things. Dr Parrish has requested that either Adi be issued with an earwig radio, or that a speaker linked to the base-wide radio system be fitted in the greenhouse. He had to actually go and collect her when the evacuation was called for the exploding jumper.”

John felt his face stiffen in shock and immediately schooled his features. “Well, that’s a bit of a security hole. I think we should do both, actually.” He turned to Elizabeth and raised an eyebrow.

Elizabeth nodded. “Yes. It’s not safe for anyone working in the greenhouse to be unaware of what’s happening, and Adi is certainly needed often enough to warrant an earwig of her own. Dr Beckett said he called her to the infirmary yesterday to help with Jina – the pregnant woman from Chinchal. Can you arrange for both ideas please, Major?”

“Ah, I can do the earwig.” Evan turned towards Rodney, “Doc, can you organise the speaker?”

Rodney nodded, making a note, and Evan went on.

“Finally, I wanted to discuss the autumn beach party on Capeliga that we scheduled in a few months ago.”

Elizabeth’s face lit up. “It must be getting very close now, Major.”

Evan nodded, a light smile playing about his lips. “It’s just over two weeks away now, Ma’am. The KP staff have got all the supplies for the barbecue set aside, and the Colonel and I have finalised the list of military personnel who’ll be coming. Doc, have you got the civilian list sorted out yet?”

“Radek’s handling it,” Rodney said. “Ask him. I expect most of my staff will be available to attend though. How many can we take, all up?”

John shifted in his seat. “If we filled all the jumpers, we could take nearly two hundred people, but there’s no way we’re stripping Atlantis that much. Lorne’s worked out a schedule with several of the jumpers going back and forth, instead, ferrying everyone there – including quite a few of the Athosians. Adi put in a request for Natol’s family in particular, and Teyla gave us a list of everyone else who was keen.” John flicked a brief smile at her and Teyla smiled back at him. Her people had been very interested in visiting Adi’s world. 

“And who’ll be in charge of Atlantis, Colonel, while yourself, Major Lorne and I are relaxing on Capeliga?” Elizabeth asked.

“Sergeant Coughlin volunteered to stay behind,” John said. “He’ll switch out with Stackhouse around midnight or so, so they each get a chance to unwind. And we’ll be leaving some marines to patrol the city as well. If there’s any problems, they’ll call through to Capeliga and we can come straight back.”

Elizabeth nodded. “That sounds good, then; very well thought through.” A small smile made its way onto her face as she felt a frisson of anticipation running through her. A chance to relax would be very welcome, and she’d never been to Capeliga before. She was still smiling as the meeting broke up around her.

Chapter Text

John stood in the gate room two days later, geared up and ready for their next mission.

Rodney was bouncing excitedly next to him, very hopeful of finding more of the supplies they needed to make the personal shields. Yesterday afternoon, Dr Rowen – Susie – had found a reference in the database they’d downloaded from the underwater facility on Talon Planet to a world where the Ancients had obtained another of the ingredients that was used in the construction of the devices – an ore that the locals had mined, and John was just as eager as Rodney to get what they needed to start producing more of the shields.

The non-ATA team, led by Sergeant Glover was standing beside them, ready to go through first, and John signalled to Chuck to dial it up. The wormhole formed with a whoosh, and John and his team stood back and waited to hear if it was safe for them to proceed.

“Hold up, Sir!” Sergeant Glover’s voice came through clearly over the radio. “There’s a Genii device on the DHD. Do not come through, Sir. I repeat – do not come through.”

“Damn!” John responded. This was the first time Glover’s team had located a device. “All right, Sergeant. Remain where you are and we’ll have a science team join you there asap. Take cover in case the Genii are still on the planet.”

As Glover acknowledged his orders, John saw Rodney was already tapping his own radio and calling for Doctors Zelenka and Simpson to come to the gate room, bringing one of the microchips they had programmed for just this situation.

It was a tense few minutes, and Dr Weir had emerged from her office to stand with them near the gate by the time Dr Zelenka came into view. Dr Simpson was walking at his side, and Major Lorne was just behind them. The scientists had stopped at the armoury on the way, where Lorne had helped them to gear up, and they were both looking uncomfortable in their tac vests with side arms strapped to their thighs.

“We are ready,” Radek said, not sounding ready at all.

John smiled at him supportively as Rodney started giving the scientists instructions on exactly what to do. He was the only one who had yet tampered with one of the Genii devices, inserting an extra component in it that shielded the ATA signal, while still ensuring that if the Genii pinged the device to check its viability it would respond that it was working perfectly.

Instructions complete, Rodney waved his scientists forward, and they stepped through the event horizon with a security guard of two marines, just in case.

John rocked on his feet, hands resting on his P-90 while he waited for news from the other side of the wormhole.

It was twenty minutes later – and a lot of back-and-forth discussion between Radek and Rodney – before the modifications to the Genii device were complete. Rodney was up on the Control Deck, ready to send through a ping of his own to test the device when Radek gave the go-ahead.

“All right, Rodney. You may try now.” Radek’s voice was jittery and John winced a little, knowing how much Zelenka hated going off-world. 

Moments later Rodney let out a cheer. “Yes! That’s got it.” He paused for a moment, and then added, “Good work, Radek.” 

John swung around to stare at him. McKay very rarely acknowledged anyone else’s efforts.

Rodney was coming down the stairs towards him. “He made it a condition of him going off-world to do this,” he said as he reached John’s side. “Said if he had to go into danger to protect me from myself, then I had to say, ‘good work’ when he was done.”

John burst out laughing, and Teyla, Lorne and Elizabeth joined in. Even Ronon was grinning.

“Well, come on,” Rodney said and headed eagerly towards the event horizon.

Ronon stepped in front of him just before he disappeared into the wormhole, and John turned to nod at Elizabeth and Lorne before following his team, emerging onto a cloudy planet to find Sergeant Glover saluting him.

“Good work, Sergeant. You can head back to Atlantis now with Doctors Zelenka and Simpson.”

Although Rodney had assured him multiple times that his ‘fix-it’ was hole-proof, John still signalled his team to take up defensive positions around the clearing as the wormhole shut down and one of the non-ATA Corporals speedily dialled Atlantis. Only once all of his people had safely disappeared through the event horizon, did John start to relax.

“Atlantis, this is Sheppard,” he said over his radio. “As per protocol, we’ll keep the radios active to ensure the wormhole stays engaged for its full thirty-eight minutes.”

This was what the Senior Staff had agreed to when Rodney’s solution had first been mentioned – that once the modifications were in place and the non-ATA team had returned home, the ATA-team on the planet would keep the wormhole open to give themselves the best chance to get as far from the gate as possible, just in case Rodney’s device failed to keep the Genii away.

With the slight thrum of adrenaline still running under his skin, John turned to Rodney. “Which way, McKay?”

Rodney was staring intently at his laptop. “There are no energy signatures – and no life signs showing – but there’s an odd mineral reading in that direction.” He lifted his arm and pointed.

“All right, let’s head out. Ronon, you take point, Teyla, you’ve got our six.”

They filed out of the clearing, taking a rough path leading north.

They chatted as they walked, knowing they needed to keep a signal going through the gate to ensure it stayed engaged. John and Rodney did most of the talking, discussing the various different Ancient devices they’d found on Talon World and brought home. There was a large pile that Rodney was still waiting to test, and the ones that John had tested for him already were being put into use. 

Eventually, John’s watch beeped, warning him the wormhole was about two minutes from closing. “Atlantis, this is Sheppard. We’re about two and a half clicks from the gate in a northerly direction. McKay says there’re no life signs visible anywhere and no energy signatures, so I’m guessing the planet’s unpopulated. He’s picked up a mineral in the direction we’re heading—” He broke off and turned to Rodney. “How far away now?”

“Um, about four kilometres.”

“About four clicks ahead. Other than that, it’s getting really cold here! Kinda wishing we’d brought thicker jackets.” The wind had picked up over the past twenty minutes, and the sky was certainly a lot gloomier than it had been.

“Acknowledged, Colonel,” Lorne’s calm voice responded. “Good hunting.”

John grunted and turned to Rodney. “Did we expect it to be this cold?” he asked, rubbing his hands over his goose-pimpled arms. “Because I’m sure the MALP showed it was eighty-one degrees.”

“It was,” Rodney replied distractedly, his eyes on his laptop screen. “Weather forecasting is such a soft science.”

Conversation fell away as they followed an animal trail in the general direction Rodney had indicated. The terrain slowly changed as they trudged onwards, rocky crags appearing sporadically, and a cliff starting to rise up beside them. The chilly wind – it seemed to be getting colder by the second – was whipping around them now, leaving them disinclined to chat.

Rodney had been staring intently at his laptop as he walked, and John had already had to grab him several times to stop him from tripping, or ending up ensnared in the prickly bushes they were passing through. John was reaching out, yet again, to bring him back on track when Rodney suddenly stopped.

“Aha!” he exclaimed, and swung around to face John. “It’s close now, the mineral is very, very close.”

He glanced around at the terrain then back at the laptop, before slowly pointing to a darker patch in the cliff wall a hundred metres or so to their right. They clambered over the tumble of rocks that seemed to have fallen from the cliff some years before, until they finally reached an opening into the side of the cliff face.

Rodney beamed. “It’s in there.”

“Right,” John said, noticeably shivering. “It’s too cold to stop out here for a break, so let’s go inside the cave and check it’s safe, then we’ll take fifteen minutes and have something to eat before exploring properly.” He was rubbing his hands over his arms as he spoke, trying to get some warmth into his extremities. Reflexively glancing behind them before entering the cave, he suddenly noticed a greenish tinge to the clouds, and, as a feeling of trepidation washed through him, he lifted his arm to point. “McKay! Is green a usual sky colour?”

Rodney swung around to look. “Um, no. No, that’s not good. That’s very not good, Colonel.” He was fumbling with his laptop, his own fingers clumsy with the cold, but he brought up the purpose-built weather app one of his scientists had created and scanned the data. “Looks like a nasty storm is heading this way. Should be on us in less than thirty minutes.”

“And by ‘nasty storm’ you mean?”

“Hail, thunder, possibly snow, I guess. It certainly feels like it might get cold enough. The reason the sky’s green is because the yellow from the sun is mingling with the blue of the water in those clouds.” He pointed to the ominously thick covering moving rapidly towards them. “It means those clouds are chock full of moisture, and whether they produce heavy rain, hail or snow depends purely on how cold it is on the journey down through the atmosphere.” 

John nodded his understanding as his mind quickly worked through their options. The winds around them were still gaining strength, and the cold was intense now. His occasional shiver had become almost continuous, and he wasn’t looking forward to the coming hours if this was going to get worse.

“All right everyone, listen up. Ronon and I’ll check out the cave. Teyla and Rodney, gather as much firewood as you can. Leave your packs here, don’t go far enough to get lost, and hurry. We’re going to need to set ourselves up to wait out the storm. Go!”

He turned towards the cave, hearing Rodney shucking his backpack and securing his laptop. But John’s attention now was all for the cave and who – or what – might already be living inside. He lifted his P-90 and, flicking on the light, moved carefully forward, Ronon at his side. The opening was only a few metres across and inside was even narrower than that. John spared a thought for Rodney and his claustrophobia, but there really wasn’t any other option. They needed shelter.

Ronon was moving forward, apparently unfazed by the darkness, and John played his light around, seeing minerals in the rock walls gleaming back at him. The entrance tunnel opened out suddenly into a much wider cavern, and John paused, lifting his P-90 to the ceiling. It was a good ten metres high, and he felt his worry for Rodney’s susceptibilities diminishing. The cave was roughly eight metres wide at this point as well, and obviously fifteen or more metres long because Ronon was disappearing out of the beam of light.

“Hold up, Chewie,” John called, hurrying forward.

“’s nothing here,” Ronon said.

“How can you be certain?”

“No movement, no reaction to us being in here. If an animal lived in here, it would’ve responded to our footfalls, our voices, your flashlight…”

“Huh, okay, well, that’s good.” John’s light was showing several tunnels opening out off the back of the cave, all roughly the same height and width, and as he swung his P-90 further to the left, the light fell on what looked like a very decrepit wheelbarrow-sort-of-thing. “Right, looks like we’ve definitely found the mine. We can check that out later. Let’s help get wood.”

The two men moved swiftly back towards the entrance.

Teyla and Rodney were some distance away, both laden with sticks and small branches, and there was already a good pile next to the cave’s opening. John scooped up an armful, carrying it back through to the large cavern and dumping it on the ground there before returning to collect some more.

They’d managed to gather a very decent pile of wood – clearly no-one had been around to use the deadfall for a long while – by the time the storm struck.

The first sign was a sudden increase in the ferocity of the winds. An unholy howling echoed about them as the winds suddenly started to whip around their knees, flicking dirt and twigs up to buffet against their bodies, and John called out to everyone to get under cover immediately.

He was running for the cave entrance when the hail started to strike. The hailstones were about the size of golf balls, being flung down from the skies with ferocious intensity, and John bit back a cry as one struck the tip of his shoulder, another striking against the top of his knee. He could hear McKay screeching as well and glanced in his direction, but Rodney was actually closer to the cave entrance than John was, so he focussed on getting himself to safety.

Teyla and Ronon were already inside, Rodney just in front of him as John reached the cave, and he pushed Rodney in ahead of him, getting under cover. And just in time. Apparently the sky-gods had waited until they were safe before truly unleashing the storm, and John turned and watched in awe as lightning streaked across the sky, thunder rumbling ominously all around the horizon and the hailstones increasing in density and size until there was nothing to see but a constant waterfall of white, the stones hitting the ground and ricocheting away in all directions. John yelped as one struck his shin, and he backed quickly away from the entrance.

“Come, John,” Teyla called. “Ronon has lit the fire.”

John made his way through to the cavern, seeing the flicker of firelight and his three teammates huddling around it, their hands reaching out to the meagre warmth. Ronon was slowly adding additional fuel, and John sat down next to Rodney, his body shivering violently and his knee and shoulder aching from the hailstones. “Well, guess we’re here for the night then. Anyone got any good ghost stories to share?”

Ronon grunted, and Rodney laughed, but it was Teyla who said, “I believe you have a good stock of ghost stories, Colonel. Something about a… hockey mask being quite fearful, if I recall correctly?”

John turned and gave her a jaded look, huddling a little closer to Rodney as Teyla leaned obligingly against his other side, all of them trying to get closer to the heat the fire was putting out. Ronon was squatting opposite them, adding more wood, but although he looked a little uncomfortable, he wasn’t shivering like John was.

“It’s because you’re so skinny,” Rodney muttered in response to John’s unspoken observation.

“I’m not skinny, Rodney! I’m lean,” John snarked, his teeth chattering.

You’re skinny, Sheppard,” Ronon said, and then laughed at John’s outraged expression.

“You are very healthy, Colonel,” Teyla said pacifically, “but a little more body fat would allow you to weather such conditions in greater comfort.”

“Hmph,” John responded, just as his watch beeped. He turned his wrist to look. “Ah, time for check-in. Wonder if the radio signal will reach us here?”

“Unlikely,” Rodney said. “I could give you the technical explanation for how the level of atmospheric moisture and the effects of lightning on the ionosphere can disrupt radio communications, but none of you would understand it.” He ignored the pointed look John threw his way. “It’s possible the signal won’t be able to penetrate this far inside the mountain either, given the mineral deposits in the rock.”

John sighed. “All right then, no help for it.” He slithered backwards and pushed himself up to his feet, starting towards the cave entrance.

“What are you doing?” Rodney asked, staring at him in confusion. “I just said the weather and the rock are going to affect the radio signal, so Atlantis is unlikely to get through to us.”

“They’re going to be worried about the Genii, Rodney,” John said. “They’ll send through a MALP and maybe, if I’m standing at the cave’s entrance, the signal will be strong enough that I can at least tell them we’re alive.”

“Oh, right, okay,” Rodney said, as Teyla rose gracefully to her feet, saying, “I shall accompany you, John. It will be colder by the front of the cave, and I can share my body heat with you while we wait for Atlantis to ready the MALP.”

John smiled in thanks. He was freaking freezing, and the offer of body warmth while they waited was very much appreciated.

***** *****

Evan had spent his afternoon in the armoury, reviewing the stock audit to determine what needed to be replaced. He sighed as he read the number of tac-vests that had been damaged or lost in the past month, knowing that the SGC were going to be asking questions about these figures. There was nothing he could do about it though, Pegasus was just really tough on equipment. He moved on down the list, checking and totalling, adding things to his requisition order as he went. 

He was writing in the need for blank ammo for the war games when his radio chirped and Amelia’s voice sounded in his ear.

“Major Lorne, Sir? I just dialled in to M4X-926 where the Colonel and his team are, as per the new Genii-device mission protocols, but there was no response to my radio hail, Sir.”

Evan felt his heart rate pick up at that news. He and John had set a protocol for these missions so that once the gate had been held open for the full thirty-eight minutes after the ATA team arrived on the planet, Atlantis would then dial in every two hours for a radio update, just to be sure the Genii hadn’t managed to pick up the presence of the ATA gene and launch an attack. And now the Colonel’s team wasn’t responding.

He was already jogging out the door and along the hallway as he responded. “Ready a MALP, Banks, I’ll be there in a moment.”

Amelia acknowledged the order and Evan picked up the pace, hoping like hell that McKay’s ‘fix-it’ had indeed fixed it, and the lack of response was due to something else – and something totally innocuous at that.

The MALP was lurching through the event horizon as Evan reached the Control Room and he came to a stop at Amelia’s console, standing beside her as he waited for the video to start streaming. The audio was making an odd, static-like noise with lots of metallic ‘thuds’, and as the video footage spooled onto the screen Evan huffed in surprise. The entire screen was filled with hailstones – some falling, many lying on the ground – and he realised the thuds from the audio signal were the stones striking the MALP itself.

Knowing that the MALP carried a relay device to boost radio transmissions – and realising that at any moment that component might be damaged by the hailstorm – Lorne immediately started speaking. “Colonel Sheppard, Sir? This is Major Lorne. Do you read?”

There was nothing but static coming in and Amelia shook her head, indicating that no response had been picked up by the monitoring equipment.

“Colonel Sheppard? Do you read, Sir? McKay? Teyla? Ronon?”

Suddenly a voice came over the speakers, distorted and missing almost all the words, but it was the Colonel’s voice and Evan let out an audible sigh of relief.

“--- --- kay --- --- --- in --- --- safe ---”

Amelia glanced up at him and Evan nodded, acknowledging her smile. “Message received, Sir. The transmission was very broken, but we understand that you’re safe. We’ll dial in again in another two hours.”

There was no further response, and Evan told Amelia to cut the signal and recall the MALP. No point leaving it there to be bashed to smithereens by the storm if there was a chance it could actually dial itself home. The wormhole shut down, and a few moments later it lit up again, and Evan watched as the MALP trundled back through the event horizon, water dripping everywhere and looking rather dented from all the hailstones that had hit it.

As Evan strode down the hall to resume his abandoned task, he clung to the fact that he’d heard John’s own voice say ‘safe’. It seemed that the Genii hadn’t had anything to do with the delay, it was just a bad storm.

Evan was almost to the doors of the armoury when he suddenly paused and swivelled on his heel. He knew that Adi could check the real-time database for updates on John’s mission, but it’d be more comforting for her if he just slipped down to Botany and let her know in person that John was okay. And with such a noble reason to go and see her, Evan slipped into the transporter at the end of the hallway and selected the greenhouse.

***** *****

John sighed as the static in his ears cut off. He could only hope his message had made it through to Atlantis. He knew they’d be worried about his team, but hopefully the MALP would’ve shown them the hailstorm in progress, so they’d be aware the glitch in communications was being caused by the weather, not the Genii.

“I did not catch any of the message, Colonel,” Teyla said, “did you?”

John shook his head. “Nah, just static.” Knowing there was nothing more he could do to assuage the concerns of those left behind in Atlantis, he reset his watch for the pre-agreed two hours, and then gestured with his head. “Let’s get back to the fire.”

The moment they reappeared, Rodney called out, “It is the right mineral, Sheppard. The one we need for the personal shields.” He was scrambling to his feet and coming towards them. “My laptop’s showing quite a lot of the mineral still in the walls around us.”

“Maybe it’s too low grade to be used then,” John said, gazing around as he sidled back towards the warmth of the fire. Ronon had built it almost to bonfire size now and it was putting out a lovely lot of heat. “Otherwise, why wouldn’t they have dug it out? If the mineral’s right here, why would they have bothered making all those tunnels?” He gestured off towards the back of the cavern and Rodney swung around to face him.

“What tunnels?”

“At the back. Ronon and I found lots of tunnels disappearing in all directions. And a wheelbarrow.”

“A wheelbarrow?” Rodney swivelled on his heel, heading rapidly towards the back of the cavern.

John jogged after him. “Hey! Don’t wander off alone, McKay.”

“You said you’d already cleared this bit.”

“Well, yes, okay, I did. But you still don’t just wander off alone like that.”

John could hear Teyla and Ronon coming up behind them, and he lifted his P-90 and shone the light around until he found the wheelbarrow. “We didn’t explore past here, McKay. We came back to help gather the firewood.” He turned his head and gazed wistfully back at the fire, craving its warmth, but Rodney had the bit firmly between his teeth now.

“Look at this,” he said. He was leaning into the decrepit wheelbarrow, lifting up a chunk of rock. “It’s as if they abandoned this mine midway through extracting the ore.” He tapped something on his computer and then hummed happily. “Yep, that’s what we need.” He dropped the rock back down and turned to face the tunnels, but then his shoulders hunched a little. “Oh, they’re, um, they’re rather narrow, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” John said, knowing that, with his claustrophobia, there was no way Rodney should be exploring these narrow tunnels.

“I’ll go,” Ronon said, hefting his pistol.

“I shall accompany Ronon,” Teyla said. “What is it that we are looking for, Rodney?”

“Um, okay. Anything man-made that suggests how they were doing the mining. And any really shiny sections of wall.” He walked towards one of the tunnels and reached his hand out as John played his light across the space. “Here, see? It’s speckled and glimmers in the flashlight. But we’re looking for densely packed sections like that.”

“Very well,” Teyla said, turning on her own P-90 light.

John ripped open his tac-vest and pulled out a flashlight for Ronon to use. “Check-in every ten minutes. And stop if there’s any sign that the tunnel isn’t stable.”

“We will be careful, John,” Teyla said, and then followed Ronon into the tunnel, disappearing from sight within moments as they rounded a bend.

Rodney was looking after them wistfully, so John bumped companionably against his shoulder. “Come on, McKay. You can do your sciency stuff over by the fire.”

“‘Sciency stuff!’” Rodney huffed, lifting one hand to do the air quotes. But he followed John back across the cavern and settled down against him, next to the fire.

They sat in silence, John absorbing warmth both from the fire and from Rodney’s body where their arms were touching. He was still shivering but it was getting less. The five-minute check-in came, and Teyla reported no problems so John started to relax a little. His shoulder was aching though, and his knee was hurting from the earlier impacts. Seeing that Rodney was deeply absorbed in whatever he was doing, John reached surreptitiously into his tac-vest and pulled out some ibuprofen, dry swallowing two tablets before Rodney could notice and give him the third degree. McKay hadn’t mentioned his own injuries at all, which was a bit weird. But then sometimes Rodney was like that.

The second five-minute check-in came, and then the third. The radios were starting to get a bit crackly as Teyla reported that they’d found some implements on the ground and a growing density of sparkly walls, and John was thinking that if the next check-in sounded worse, he’d be calling them back. He didn’t want to lose contact with half his team, trapped inside a mountain on an unpopulated planet while cut off from the gate by a howling storm. He huffed to himself at his own melodrama. This really wasn’t all that bad. They had shelter and warmth, and Atlantis knew they were okay. Well, he hoped they did. He didn’t want Lorne worrying – or Adi, because he knew she checked the live-database they’d set up for the gate techs to record everything that was happening off-world and inside the city.

Sighing lightly, he leaned a little more heavily against Rodney, finally feeling warm. His shivering had stopped now. The fire was radiating lots of lovely heat, and so was McKay. John’s eyes started to close and he jolted them back open, realising that the next five-minute check-in had come and gone without response. Damn!

He straightened up, then pushed himself up to his feet.

“Where are you going?” Rodney asked, startled at the sudden loss of John’s warm weight against his side.

“They’ve missed check-in,” John said and started across the cavern towards the tunnel. He’d just stepped through the opening when his radio crackled to life.

“Colonel? We are quite safe.”

“Teyla! What’s going on? You missed your check-in.”

“Yes, we could not raise you so we have turned back. But Colonel? We reached the end of the tunnel and there was a great density of sparkling on all of the walls, and rusted metal tools on the ground, as well as another wheelbarrow. Ronon is carrying one of the tools back to show you.”

John acknowledged the message and crossed back to the fire, retaking his seat. “They’re okay. They’re coming back,” he said, and Rodney grunted, lost in his laptop again.

John was just drifting peacefully when Ronon and Teyla reappeared at the tunnel entrance. He shifted a little more upright, but stayed by the fire as they crossed the cavern. 

“Here,” Ronon said, dropping the heavy metal tool he was carrying next to John.

It was a pick-axe. Or a very rusted, early medieval-looking pick-axe, anyway. But it was pretty obvious that this was what the locals had been using to mine the mineral.

Rodney leaned over John to have a look. “Hmph, well. Clearly the mineral’s easy to get then, if they were able to effectively mine it with just that. Was there a lot to see?” He looked up at Ronon and Teyla.

“Yes, indeed,” Teyla said, sitting down and scooching a bit closer to the fire. It had been cold in the tunnel. “The mineral is evident all along the passageway, but at the end there are several large straight strips, very densely sparkled.”

Rodney grinned. “They found the seam and they followed it. Excellent!”

Teyla reached into her tac-vest and pulled out several small round-ish samples of rock. “These were in the bottom of the wheelbarrow. I am unsure if they had fallen in, or if they had simply not been removed when the barrow was emptied. Either way, I felt that perhaps we could take them back to Atlantis for analysis.”

Rodney’s eyes lit. “Yes, indeed. And the bigger ones from the wheelbarrow over there, too.” 

John raised an eyebrow, not fancying having to lug heavy rocks all the way back to the gate. “Maybe just one, McKay. Pick the best one. If it’s any good, we can send Lorne to have a look. He’s got a Geology degree. Go pick your best rock and pop it here with these pebbles.” He watched, his eyes at half-mast, as Rodney hefted himself up and disappeared towards the wheelbarrow on the far side of the cavern.

“You are weary, John,” Teyla remarked. “Shivering drains energy very quickly. Perhaps you can take a nap.” 

“The two-hour check-in with Atlantis is due in about half an hour,” John said sleepily.

“I can wait at the entrance of the cave and make contact, Colonel,” Teyla responded, and John nodded. He was feeling very tired.

Rodney returned with his rock, complaining how heavy it was, and John smirked at him. “Guess you’ll need to use your best manners and ask someone if they’ll carry it for you,” he suggested as Rodney sat back down next to him.

“I’ll carry it,” Ronon offered.

“Thank you,” Rodney said pointedly, glaring at John. Then he took in his sleepy expression. “You need to rest, Sheppard, or you’re going to fall over.” He patted his thigh. “Here, you can use me for a pillow.”

John gazed at the thigh in question for a moment, then slowly canted over to the side and snuggled in. It was very comfortable. He was finally warm; the fire was doing a wonderful job of keeping him quite toasty now, and he was very weary. His eyes closed and he drifted away, knowing that his team had his back.

***** *****

The storm was starting to diminish when Teyla heard John’s watch beeping and made her way out to the entrance. The hail had stopped and it was raining heavily now instead, but the wind was much less ferocious than it had been, and the thunder and lightning seemed to have moved away.

“Major Lorne to Colonel Sheppard. Do you read?” The message came through clearly and Teyla was smiling as she tapped her radio to respond.

“Major Lorne, this is Teyla. We are all safe and well. We have located large deposits of the mineral that we sought, and are waiting in the cave until the weather abates enough to commence the return journey to the gate.”

“That’s good to hear, Teyla. We saw the hailstorm when we dialled in last time. Were any of you injured?”

“I believe we were all struck by some of the hailstones; however, no-one has complained of any injury.” She swung around suddenly to face the interior of the cave, struck with the thought that John may have been injured but concealed it. It was most unusual for him to fall asleep.

“Would you like us to collect you in a jumper, Teyla? Is there anywhere suitable for landing, close by?”

“The rain is still very heavy in this location, Major. I would not recommend flying in this weather. Perhaps, once the weather clears, a ride back to the gate would be welcome. Rodney wishes to bring some of the rock samples with us and they are quite heavy. Also, the ground looks to be quite badly affected by the deluge it has endured.” She gazed out at what had been dry land but was now a great deal more like a mud bog.

“Will do, Teyla. We can leave the MALP on the planet now there’s no risk of damage from hail, so we’ll be able to monitor the weather conditions from here. We’ll radio when the jumper’s on the way.”

“Thank you, Major. Please be aware that I am only able to hear your radio signal as I am standing in the cave entrance. It is probable that we will not hear you from inside the cave. If we do not respond, please do not despair.”

“Understood. Lorne out.”

Teyla tapped her radio closed, cast one last glance at the sheeting rain, and turned her steps back towards her companions, worry for John rising sharply.

***** *****

Rodney was also worried about John. It was very unlike him to fall asleep. He had been very cold though, and shivering really did take it out of you – as Rodney would know. He’d once been on a very uncomfortable camp with the Fort McMurray Eager Beavers where they’d had to sleep in tents, and it’d unexpectedly snowed in the night. His sleeping bag was only rated to zero degrees Celsius, and it had been several degrees colder than that. The whole of the next day he’d been sleepy and sore from his muscles contracting so much with all the shivering. Still…

He was leaning over to make sure Sheppard was definitely breathing when Teyla reappeared.

“Is he all right?” she asked, hurrying across.

“Well, he’s breathing,” Rodney responded. “It’s just not like him to fall asleep.”

“Probably got hit by lots of hail,” Ronon said. “He was at the back. Maybe he took some painkillers. And the warmth probably got to him.” He didn’t look worried at all and Rodney settled himself more comfortably. Surely if there was something to be concerned about, Ronon would be concerned.

Teyla reported what Major Lorne had said, and Rodney gave his hearty approval of the plan, sending Ronon back across to the wheelbarrow to gather all the rocks that were there. It was a shame the barrow was too decrepit to push to the entrance, but surely Lorne would bring some grunts who could come and collect the pile that Ronon had made.

Every so often, Ronon or Teyla wandered out to the front of the cave to check the weather, and it was about two hours later that Ronon returned and announced that the rain had finally stopped. “Should wake him up now,” he said, pointing to John. “Lorne’ll be here soon.”

Teyla reached out her hand and shook John’s leg. “Colonel? It is time to wake up.”

John took a deeper breath and then slowly surfaced, pushing himself up off Rodney’s leg, a little mortified to discover he’d drooled.

“Ugh,” Rodney said, his voice rich with distaste as he ripped open a pocket on his tac-vest and pulled out a wet wipe. “That’s disgusting.”

“It is perfectly natural,” Teyla said, “and nothing to be concerned about. All people drool when they are sleeping, Rodney.” She turned to John who was shaking his head a little to clear the sleep-fuzzies away. “Are you well, John?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s happening?”

But Rodney wasn’t having that. He’d tucked the used wet wipe away and now he swivelled to face John. “None of that ‘I’m fine’ nonsense! You fell asleep! Did you hit your head? Were you struck by multiple hailstones? Do you have a fever?”

John batted Rodney’s hands away. “I’m fine, McKay. I was just cold and tired and the fire was warm and there was nothing to do and I felt sleepy.

Rodney was staring at him in disbelief, his hands still waving about near John’s face. “You just ‘felt sleepy’?” he repeated sceptically.

“Yeah,” John said, nodding to emphasise the point. Teyla and Ronon were looking at him too, though, concern in their eyes, and John felt himself blush as he added, “There’s nothing wrong with me. I-I just… I… I trust you guys to have my back.” He averted his gaze, embarrassed at the turn the conversation had taken.

“That is good to hear,” Teyla said warmly. “It seems our concern for you was misplaced, Colonel. I spoke to Atlantis while you were sleeping, and Major Lorne will be sending a jumper to collect us. They should arrive quite soon.”

John turned horrified eyes towards Teyla. “Did you tell him I fell asleep?”

Teyla laughed. “No, Colonel, I did not. The ground outside is very water-logged, and Rodney wishes to bring as much rock as possible back to Atlantis for analysis. It seemed wise to accept the Major’s offer to collect us.”

John’s expression settled. Falling asleep surrounded by his team was one thing, having everyone in Atlantis know he’d fallen asleep in the middle of a mission was quite another. He hefted himself up to his feet, walking across to the pile of rocks Ronon had assembled. “That’s quite the little sample pile you’ve got going there, McKay.”

“The more the better, Sheppard. We need to move it out to the front of the cave.”

John nodded and piled a couple of the rocks against his vest. He walked towards the cave entrance, letting them spill from his hands when he got there, before stepping forward and looking up at the sky. The sun was shining now, the clouds racing away across the sky leaving a clear blue vista behind them as far as the eye could see, and John found himself wishing that they’d scheduled this mission for four or five hours later than they had. It was still very chilly though, and he wrapped his arms about his waist.

His radio chirped as he stood there, Major Lorne calling for him, and he responded immediately. “Sheppard here.”

“I’m going to send you a jumper, Sir. Would you like me to come and look at this mine, or shall I send Parkes?”

“Send Parkes, Major. I think we’ve got enough rocks for you to look at when we get back, and Rodney’ll get his people to analyse the mineral content. If it looks good, we can schedule another mission with you along.”

“Okay, Sir. The jumper will be through the gate in a few minutes.”

“Acknowledged.” John tapped his radio closed, wondering at the relief he’d heard in Lorne’s voice. Had Lorne been worried about him? That seemed weird. John turned and went back in to collect some more of Rodney’s rocks.

This mission had turned out to be a success after all, and at least they now knew that Rodney’s anti-Genii device worked. And then an unholy grin lit John’s face as he thought of the Genii emerging from the gate into that hailstorm. He laughed delightedly, cartoon-visions of them all being squashed by huge hail stones entertaining him enormously.

Chapter Text

A couple of weeks had passed since John’s last off-world adventure, and Adi was in the greenhouse, singing softly to herself as she pottered here and there amongst the plants, her heart full of hope and contentment. Noticing a number of small buds on the fruit trees the Lanteans had been propagating, she felt a shaft of pleasure run through her to know that this venture had been a success and that soon there would be home-grown fruit to supplement the diets of her new community.

Opening the laptop to the correct screen, she started to count the number of buds visible today, recording the data ready for consideration by the botanists. They were trialling different soil types, and fertilisers, as well as different amounts of sunlight and water, and the experimental data was very important as it would inform future plantings.

It took nearly an hour to correctly enter all of the information Dr Parrish was seeking, and Adi was feeling a sense of accomplishment as she closed down the program and returned the laptop to the desk in the far corner. She turned back to the rows of plants, picked up her watering can, added the correct amount of liquid fertiliser, and began to slowly move along from plant to plant, giving them each the exact same amount of enriched water. As she worked, her mind wandered back over the past fortnight.

John had been true to his word, asking Evan to roster someone to the garden each evening to watch over her as she engaged in her people’s martial art katas. Matthew, Sergeant Stackhouse and Corporal Hendrix had all appeared during the past two weeks, and even Evan himself had come one evening, sitting quietly on the rocks beside the stream and giving her the freedom to just let go and focus solely on the calm spirit within, the sense of nature about her, the sinking sun’s rich display of colour in the sky above as her body flowed through the movements.

She’d built quite a following, but knowing that she had someone she trusted sitting to her side, their sole job to ensure that she was not troubled by anyone coming near to her, meant that she could ignore those who stood behind her copying her movements, and sink herself into the opportunity to return to her roots and practice the forms of her childhood, her adolescence, her whole life. Memories of her people were strongly about her as she followed the sequence of movements each evening, and she was feeling a sense of balance and control that she had not had in recent months. It was as if, in seeking to return to those things she had enjoyed with her lost community, she had found them again within herself.

Smiling a little at the thought, Adi refilled the watering can and began again on the next row, her thoughts flicking forward through the other things that were fulfilling in her life. Her weekly staff fighting training sessions with Corporal Tobias were going very well. The Corporal was very respectful of her boundaries, and she felt safe with him. The Stitch ‘n’ Bitch had once again become a place of warmth and welcome now that Corporal Bosman had left the city in disgrace, and Adi greatly enjoyed the simple camaraderie she was building with the women of Atlantis. And she had her wonderful friendships with the botany team. Dr Parrish was, of course, the lead in all things fun and enjoyable and went out of his way to include Adi in everything that was happening in his department, but the other botanists were equally as welcoming and inclusive, and Adi felt that she had developed true and lasting friendships with these people who spent their days amongst nature, exploring, researching, and constantly fascinated by plants.

She was still visiting the mainland every week to keep up her skills with bow and axe. It was often Corporal Parkes or Matthew who flew her there, but sometimes Sergeant Stackhouse was the pilot, and occasionally Evan or John himself took her. She had the opportunity while she was there to mix with the Athosian people and to check on Natol, make sure he was settling into his new community.

Adi smiled to herself, thinking of the naming ceremony that would be taking place this afternoon on the mainland. Natol had been given a whole moon to grow used to his new family and playmates, and Adi was very touched to have been invited to join the Athosians as they performed this important ritual of welcome and belonging for the little boy. Glancing at the clock, she could see that she still had an hour until she needed to be ready, so she put the watering can away and picked up her secateurs, moving to the far end of the greenhouse and starting to trim some of the bigger bushes that were taking over the walkways.

Her thoughts turned to John and the time they had managed to spend together in their suite over the past fortnight, kissing and touching… and more. John was looking more relaxed in himself, and Adi reflected that their growing intimacy might be making him feel more confident in her affection for him. She was aware that he was still troubled by her friendship with Evan, but it seemed that he was moving towards a greater acceptance of her right to develop relationships with others.

Smiling, she thought of their activities the night before. She’d actually managed to let John cup her shoulders, his hands unmoving against her body, as she kissed him. It was an enormous hurdle to have overcoming, allowing him that control of her body while she was so vulnerable, and John had been very pleased. Then her smile disappeared as she remembered her continuing fearful reaction whenever she felt his erection against her body. It was still a problem for her. John would hug her from behind, or roll slightly in the bed, and she would feel his body’s response to her nearness, and invariably the remembered terror of the Bola Kai would rise sharply in her and she would pull away…

Sighing, Adi leaned down to scoop up the branches she had cut away and carried them to the pile awaiting mulching. John was so patient with her, never becoming angry, never showing any degree of frustration with her continuing lack of trust in those moments. Her face brightened a little as she remembered that she was able to sit closely by him now as he brought himself to ecstasy. That was certainly an improvement to be proud of. And she had greatly enjoyed giving him a full body massage and enjoying the same in return from him.

Walking back along the pathway to continue her trimming, Adi’s mind drifted towards Evan. She greatly cherished her friendship with Evan. It was warm and comfortable, and she knew that whenever she had need of comfort or companionship, Evan would most willingly provide it. Her brow furrowed a little as she snipped here and there, clearing fronds from the path. It troubled her that Evan was in the same predicament as John – loving someone for whom he was unable to express his emotions. But added to that, Evan also had strong feelings for Adi herself, and he was having to watch as the man he loved grew closer and closer to the woman he loved. This was something that John had struggled with too, watching Adi’s deepening friendship with Evan and knowing himself to be unable to have the same degree of interaction with Evan that Adi enjoyed. But at least John could spend close personal time with Adi, which Evan could not.

Sighing to herself, Adi reflected on how hard it must be for Evan to stand on the sidelines. Her own feelings for him were far stronger than mere friendship now and she knew it. John’s concern for her relationship with Evan had made her consider her interactions and her emotions far more closely than she might otherwise have done, and Adi was well aware that Evan was closer to her than anyone other than John had ever been; more important to her even than Losiri had been. She greatly enjoyed the time they spent together, her trust in him so complete that she knew herself to be totally safe in his arms.

Her feelings were growing deeper for him by the day, and her attraction to him was growing as well. Feeling his skin against her own, the night he had comforted her on the pier after John’s near-death exploits, had brought her exquisite delight as their auras had blended, despite how distressed both she – and he – had been. And yet… while she was still so unsure of John’s erect body touching her own in intimacy, she hadn’t felt any desire to seek a closer bond with Evan. She was content in their friendship… for now. She was actually unsure if she would ever feel safe enough to seek the level of connection with him that she had with John, or if her feelings for Evan would ever reach the same depth that she felt for John – total surrender to his presence, complete contentment in his company, a dissolving of her own boundaries to become one with him. She didn’t know… but she felt that it was certainly possible.

Wondering how John would react, should that time come to pass, Adi gathered the last of her cuttings and dropped them off on her way to replace the secateurs in their appointed spot.

Her time for introspection was over. She had an Athosian ceremony to attend.

***** *****

Later that afternoon, John flew his favourite jumper back across the ocean towards Atlantis with Adi, Teyla and Corporal Parkes occupying the other seats in the cockpit. The ceremony for Natol had gone very well, the little boy overcome with emotion as each and every Athosian – and the Lantean guests – had welcomed him to their family. John had been pleased when Teyla had asked to include Corporal Parkes in the ritual of welcome. He was, after all, the one who had carried Natol away from the village where he’d been so badly abused by his father, all the way to the gate and into Carson’s care. It’d been nice to see him being honoured by the Athosians for his actions in caring for the little boy.

Natol had grown already, even in the few weeks since John had last seen him, and Adi’s expression of pleasure, of love when she’d seen him, had struck John to the core. He’d had a sudden vision of his son running towards Adi, Adi picking up her own little boy and swinging him around, turning to John with a face beaming with love and delight as they cherished the child they had made together. The vision had left him reeling with its intensity.

He’d always assumed he and Nancy would have kids someday, but it had been in that faraway place called ‘the future’. And then had come the sudden and heart-wrenching end to their marriage, and John had shoved fatherhood away as something he wasn’t going to think about again. To have it suddenly rear its head in the middle of an alien village on a planet in another galaxy was a bit unsettling to say the least. But he’d managed to push the emotions those thoughts had evoked aside to consider later, and had greeted Natol himself, giving the boy a hug as he thanked John for being part of his rescue. Clearly Natol had equated this welcoming ceremony with the manner in which he’d ended up with the Athosians, and John was pleased to think that, although it had all been Adi’s doing, John had been a part of something pretty special in bringing the little boy to safety.

The spires of Atlantis rose up out of the endless ocean and John turned his attention back to piloting. The sunlight glinted off the windows of the towers and a shard of homecoming ran through him as he aimed towards the Jumper Bay.

The roof-top door was sliding open in response to John’s mental request when his earwig radio suddenly chirped.

“Colonel Sheppard, Sir?” Sergeant Stackhouse said urgently in his ear.

“What’s up?” John responded, tension gripping his body at Stackhouse’s tone of voice. With Lorne’s team off-world today, John had left the reliable Sergeant in charge of Atlantis while he’d been on the mainland, but he hadn’t anticipated there being any problems.

“The long-range sensors have just picked up some Wraith hives approaching M3Y-290. They’ll be in culling range within fifteen minutes, Sir.”

John felt a surge of adrenaline race through him. “Dial that gate address immediately,” he ordered as he lowered the jumper through the hatch and powered it down.

“Banks already has, Sir. She did it the moment the alert showed up, as she was radioing me.”

John was out of the jumper now, jogging through the hallways to the Control Room, Teyla at his side. “What do we know about the planet?” he asked over the radio. “Is it populated?” It wasn’t a designation with which he was familiar.

“We’ve never been there, Sir.”

“Send a MALP,” John ordered as he arrived at Stackhouse’s side. He could see the MALP already lined up and ready to go, and it started moving forward as he watched. 

The images began to flow onto Banks’ computer screen and John leaned down to look. “Gate’s clear, no hazards for a jumper, evidence of several pathways leading out. There’s bound to be people living there.” He straightened up and tapped his radio. “Marine Platoon Delta and all available military jumper pilots, gear up and get to the Jumper Bay immediately. We have Wraith incoming on an unfamiliar planet.” He nodded at Stackhouse and turned away, his mind already speeding ahead to what they might find on the other side of the gate.

Less than two minutes later, John’s jumper was zipping away through the wormhole. He hadn’t even waited for Ronon to join them. Taking the first of the marines to reach the Jumper Bay, he’d headed out immediately, knowing more of his people were following, but there was so little time before the Wraith would be there…

As his jumper emerged from the event horizon, John immediately began scanning for life signs. There were three clusters of dots showing on the HUD, clearly representing three different villages scattered in a rough triangle around the gate. Two of the villages were three to four clicks out, while the third was closer to six clicks away. John set course for the closest one, issuing orders as the other jumpers exited the wormhole to ensure he had ample troops targeting each village.

Teyla leaned forward as they flew towards the village John had chosen, well aware that the Wraith must be only minutes away. “I have been here before,” she said urgently, looking out the window at the terrain, “when I was a child. My mother brought me here.”

“Good relations with the locals?” John asked, and Teyla nodded. “I believe so.”

John activated his radio. “All personnel, the Athosians have had a positive relationship with these people at some point in the past. It might be good to trade on that, and to mention—” he glanced swiftly at Teyla as he said, “Tagan,” and Teyla nodded, “Tagan Emmagan, the leader of the Athosians at the time.”

There was no time for more, the village was beneath them and John brought the jumper down onto a bald patch of dirt in the middle of the houses. People were emerging from the buildings, staring in fear at this phenomenon, and some were brandishing pitchforks.

Teyla walked rapidly down the ramp as it was still descending, raising her voice to be heard over the murmur of uncertainty from the natives. “I am Teyla Emmagan of the Athosians, daughter of Tagan. We have traded with you in times past. I come now to tell you the Wraith are in the skies above. They will be among you within minutes. If you have somewhere to hide, you must flee, now!”

There was stunned silence for a moment, and then the crowd started to cry out, mothers and fathers calling for their children and running to pick them up. One man stepped forward. “I am Yokin Yintu, the Leader of my village. You have the look of your mother, Teyla Emmagan. Can you tell us how you know of the Wraith?”

“My friends have Ancestor technology that tells us these things, but now is not the time to discuss it. Do your people have somewhere to hide?” Her eyes were scanning the crowd, noticing that people were running hither and thither, but not really getting anywhere.

Yokin shook his head, lifting his arms to the sides. “As you can see, we live on the plains. There are no hiding places.” His tone was defeated, as if the Wraith were already among them and there was nothing to do but stand and be taken.

John stepped forward then, the urgency of the situation foremost in his mind. “Everybody board a jumper,” he shouted, pointing to the two jumpers that had landed beside his. “Women and children first! Get inside!”

The whine of the incoming darts came to their ears then, and the milling crowd turned their heads up as one to stare at the skies in horror. That seemed to be a catalyst for action and Yokin suddenly nodded with decision, clearly seeing that trusting these strangers was a better option than just waiting to be culled. Turning to his people he called out his support for John’s words, shouting loudly enough to be heard over the screams of terror. The crowd surged forward, splitting between the jumpers and John quickly shoved his way through to the pilot seat as the local population flooded into the small space.

Radioing his marines in the other villages to warn them that the darts had arrived, John ordered them to cloak, doing so himself at the same time. The jumper was uncomfortably full, people crowding cheek by jowl, but Teyla was calling to him to go, so John thought the rear hatch closed and lifted the little craft into the air, radioing the two jumpers that had been with him to cross the plains in a northerly direction, moving away from the village and the crops that the Wraith would target.

John swung the jumper around when they were about a click away, hovering above the ground and watching as the darts swooped over the village, seeking but not finding any prey. A sense of relief washed through him at the realisation that they’d been in time, that they’d managed to save these people.

Reaching for the radio, John quickly called for updates from the other villages, listening as his marines reported the same situation as his own village had faced with nowhere to hide. They’d filled the jumpers as full as they could but…

“Sir?” It was Corporal Parkes. “We couldn’t fit everyone in. There are more than thirty villagers still on the ground, and Ronon and the marines have stayed with them to try and provide cover for them, if the Wraith come on foot.”

John stiffened, grimacing tightly. Those people stood zero chance. The moment the darts were finished with the two closer villages, they were going to be heading straight for the smorgasbord awaiting them at Parkes’ village. There was no way John was going to accept the loss of so many of these locals – or of his own troops – or Ronon – either. With one last glance out the window at the darts, who, having been thwarted in their main goal of culling their herd, were now moving to destroy all they could, John angled his jumper towards the cluster of life signs still showing on the HUD, skimming low across the ground as the little ship struggled with its load. He knew the jumpers could carry more than their own weight – after all, they’d ferried all the sand across from the mainland to create the garden – but the little craft was definitely noticing that it was overcrowded, the oxygen scrubbers working double time to keep up with all the gasping, crying, terrified people aboard.

“All jumpers converge on Parkes’ position,” he ordered. Maybe they’d have room to squish a few more of the locals in. And they could at least launch drones at the Wraith on the ground – although not without risking the darts working out where the cloaked jumpers were and trying to take them out.

Memories of the last time they’d done this – ferrying the locals on the snow planet to safety and then turning back to attack the darts directly – came to mind. But flying alone into battle with the possibility of death was one thing, flying more than forty civilians into battle was a whole other set of variables, and John couldn’t bring himself to risk them all. The woman pushing against him was cradling an infant not much older than Jina’s little baby and had a kid the size of Natol crouched on her back. How could he possibly risk them against the weapons of the darts?

John’s body was stiff with tension as his mind battered against the edges of his skull, seeking another option. Suddenly he thought of the moment he and Radek had extended the shield around Rodney’s sunken jumper. He knew Zelenka had added the shield modifications to the entire jumper fleet, they just hadn’t ever needed to use them, so it hadn’t been in the forefront of his mind.

“Parkes!” he shouted, having to raise his voice to get over the nervous babbling of the locals crowded into the jumper. “Switch from cloak to shield and extend it around the thirty people. The Wraith will be able to see you all, but they won’t be able to get at you.”

He could hear the excitement in Parkes’ voice as he relayed the orders to both his fellow jumper pilots and to the marines on the ground, and John’s nerves were almost eating a hole through his stomach as he waited for the jumpers to get into position, and for the marines to gather everyone back together from where they’d fled in their terror.

And then, finally, Parkes voice came through, rich with relief. “All personnel were now either in the jumpers or under shields, Sir.”

“Good work,” John said, hoping it would be enough. “Are the darts there yet?” As he asked, the darts from the village behind him streaked across the sky, spearing towards their only remaining food source, and rapidly overtaking the overloaded jumpers.

“Yes, Sir. One lot’s already here and another lot are incoming. They’re firing at the shields, but they can’t get through. I’m not sure how long they’re going to hold though.”

“Neither am I, Corporal,” John responded grimly. “Just keep your thoughts focussed on holding that shield in place. It uses a lot of energy, especially if it’s being taxed by the Wraith weapons.”

“Yes, Sir.”

As they finally came in sight of the third village, John could see a mass of people huddling close together beneath the protection of the shields from the three jumpers. Ronon was clearly visible though, standing tall, staring straight up through the shield, his weapon extended, a ferocious expression on his face.

A string of darts flew past, one after another, the pulses from their energy weapons lighting the shields up. There were a number of Wraith drones on the ground, firing constantly towards them as well. But even as John watched, the closest dart suddenly stopped firing and the culling beam swept down, dematerialising the drones on the ground. And then the darts were heading straight up into the sky, disappearing into the atmosphere, and the people standing under the shields began to cheer, hugging one another in celebration.

***** *****

An hour later, John was standing in the middle of the village rubble, talking with Yokin about his options. With the Wraith threat gone, the locals had pleaded to be returned to their own villages to see what had survived. John had brought the three leaders together at Yokin’s village, because the devastation wrought by the Wraith was catastrophic for these people. None of the houses had survived the barrage of frustrated brutality, the crops in the fields had been set afire, and the few trees dotted here and there near the villages had all been burned.

“Look,” John said, trying to get the shocked and distressed leaders to understand their situation. “There’s nothing left here, and it’s a pretty indefensible position anyway. The Wraith might well return. They know you were here, hiding in plain sight. If they come again, we might not be as lucky at saving your people.”

Yokin reached out his hand and gripped John’s forearm. “It is not that we are displeased with the outcome, or ungrateful for your assistance,” he said shakily, “it is that everything has been lost.”

“But not your people, Yokin,” Teyla said bracingly. “It is true that your homes and livelihoods have been destroyed, but your people were saved - not a single life lost to a Wraith culling. This is an unheard-of outcome and something to be thankful for.”

“Yes, indeed,” Yokin said, but the shock of the situation was clearly still with him.

John turned to address the other two leaders, but a sudden awareness sizzled up his spine, making him stiffen. He swung sharply around in the direction of the gate but before he’d even had time to process what had caught his attention, gunfire was suddenly ringing through the clearing and bullets began to strike targets in the village centre.

John reacted instantly.

“Retreat!” he shouted. “Get to the jumpers! Marines, open fire!”

He was running as he shouted, pulling his P90 up and instantly returning fire, trying to shield the three leaders as they bolted for the safety of the little ships that had kept them safe from the Wraith. He had no idea who the enemy were, just that they’d attacked without any warning and therefore deserved no quarter.

All across the village there was movement as the locals raced towards the jumpers, people crying out here and there as a bullet found its mark.

And then John was shot, taking a bullet clean through his thigh. He fell forward, his leg giving out underneath him. He rolled, still firing his P-90, and tried to get to his feet, but his leg collapsed instantly. Tumbling down again he started to drag himself forward towards the jumper, his P-90 still spattering bullets in the direction of the attackers. He could hear other P-90’s firing around him, and he spared a second to lift his hand off the trigger and tap his radio, calling through the attack to the marines who were in the other villages, but he could hear gunfire sounding through his earwig too and realised that the enemy had split their forces.

His leg was bleeding heavily and, as he was desperately worming his way towards the jumper, he took another bullet to the arm. Then suddenly two hands grabbed him, and he glanced up to see Corporal Banyon helping pull him up to his feet and supporting him up the ramp into the jumper.

John thought the hatch closed, hearing a barrage of bullets striking it, and forced his way through the crush of people to get to the pilot seat.

“John, you are shot,” Teyla said, turning from the wounded local she’d been treating and immediately ripping open a pocket on her tac-vest, pulling out a pressure bandage. She wound it around his arm even as John was lifting the jumper into the air.

“My leg, Teyla,” he rasped, the pain almost enough to floor him. He heard Teyla gasp, and then another ripping sound as she sought a second pressure bandage, but his attention was all for the attack situation and what was happening on the ground now that the locals had been removed. He cloaked the jumper to stop the continuing spray of bullets, and swung it around, circling back to the village centre and looking out the front windows, trying to get a feel for the location of the attackers.

And then a wave of red-hot anger surged through him as he realised they were Genii. Fucking hell! He’d brought his troops straight through that fucking gate to warn the locals about the Wraith, and they hadn’t stopped to check for the bloody Genii ATA device on the DHD!

John slammed his hand against the dashboard, his whole body in denial at how stupid he’d been, but his mind was already spinning forward, deciding on a course of action. Opening the radio he barked out his orders, “All jumpers, the attackers are Genii. You are authorised to use lethal force. Fire drones into the enemy until they are all very, very dead.”

Even as his marines were acknowledging the orders, John had opened fire himself, the two jumpers that had been with him in the village joining in an instant later. It didn’t take long. The Genii strike force had been spread in a half circle amidst the rubble of the village, all of them lying prone to avoid detection. Half a dozen drones, and the job was finished.

Behind him, John could hear the marines in his jumper working feverishly to help those who’d been shot, patching and bandaging as they went, but he ignored them. His attention was all on neutralising the enemy force. Even the feel of warm blood soaking through the bandage on his leg wasn’t enough to hold his attention while his people were in danger.

Bringing up the HUD, John checked for life signs around the village perimeter, but seeing none, he uncloaked his jumper.

“Kepler, Dixon,” he called over the radio to the two jumper pilots who were hovering nearby, “stay here. I’m going to do a sweep between the gate and the other villages, looking for more hostiles. While I’m gone, I want you to land, keep the locals aboard, and let the marines out to check for survivors amongst the friendlies on the ground.” There were several bodies lying around the village centre, and John had seen a few blips on the life signs scan indicating that some were still alive, but they may not stay that way for very much longer without help.

Teyla reached out her hand, gripping his forearm tightly. “No, John. You are injured. Let one of your men go and see what is happening elsewhere. They can radio you the situation, and if you are needed, you can go. For now, you need to rest until we can return to Atlantis.”

John turned to glare at her, but the movement caused a fresh surge of agony in his leg and he slumped, knowing she was right. He turned back to the radio. “Belay that order. Dixon, please fly towards the village to the east, Kepler, take the village to the south. Stay cloaked, keep your HUD up seeking life signs, and assess the situation.” He paused for a moment, his mind struggling to think clearly through the pain. “Dixon, fly to your assigned village via the gate and check for life signs in a one-kilometre radius around it.”

He received the acknowledgements and huffed out a breath. Teyla was holding out her hand, two tablets lying in her palm, and John reached for them, dry swallowing them and hoping like hell their pain killing properties would kick in soon. His leg was an agonising blaze of pain.

“Who were they?” one of the locals asked timidly, and Teyla responded. “They were Genii.” She spat the word, all warm feelings for her friends of old long since washed away in the wake of their continuing hostility.

Unable to swing his chair around for the press of people, John turned his head. “You can’t stay here now,” he said, raising his voice to be heard by everyone. “The Genii are ruthless, and they’ll probably send more troops through.” He had no idea if they would or not, but leaving these people here, homeless and defenceless, was not sitting well with his ethos of ‘leave no man behind.’

He slowly brought the jumper down to land, avoiding the few bodies he could see. One of them was in Lantean BDUs and he felt the weight of his command decisions settling on his shoulders. If he’d detailed just one jumper to pause and check for the fucking Genii device! Shaking his head to free himself of the blame – for now – he called out to his marines. “Banyon, Cachik, I’m going to drop the ramp and I want you to assess the victims on the ground.” Then he raised his voice. “No-one is to exit this jumper until I say you can. The risk has not passed. My marines are going to check on the people who were shot. Everyone else stay in here.” He could only hope they would. At least with the hatch open, fresh air could circulate.

He was beginning to feel very woozy, but there were still things to be done.

Teyla knelt and applied a second pressure bandage to his leg. “You need to return to Atlantis, John. Send Major Lorne to deal with this now.”

“He’s off-world, Teyla. And this isn’t going to take long.” He turned and called out to Yokin, getting his attention. The three leaders pushed their way through the huddled throng to the front of the jumper, where John was sitting. “Yokin… the writing’s on the wall. You’ve got two options. We can evacuate you temporarily to our city, or we can evacuate you to a planet we know of that’s been abandoned but has houses and places to hide from the Wraith. Your call.”

Yokin turned to look at his fellow leaders before swinging back to face John. “We have kin on another planet. We will go there. They will take us in, give us shelter. We can plan our future with their support.” He bowed his head towards John. “I do not know why the Ancestors chose to bless us this day with your assistance, but without your warnings and your little ships, we would have suffered dreadful losses. More even than we have. On behalf of my people, I offer you our undying gratitude.”

John nodded, trying to smile, but knowing it hadn’t worked very well. He was struggling to stay upright in his seat now, and could feel his heart beating far too rapidly, his hands clammy on the controls. He had to get back to Atlantis and let Dr Beckett take over. Luckily Teyla realised his predicament and stepped in to manage the diplomatic conversation.

John’s radio pinged and he listened as his troops reported in, saying the Genii had all been wiped out and there were no unaccounted for life-signs on the planet. Corporal Smithers’ voice was rasping as he reported that Corporal Alton had been killed by the Genii, but they’d recovered his body. John nodded, knowing Alton wasn’t the only one. He’d seen Banyon check on the fallen marine in front of the jumper and move straight on. Clearly, she was dead.

Teyla leaned towards him. “Colonel, Yokin, Saltor, and Peliat have decided that they will gather what they can from the ruins of their homes, and will walk to the gate in silence, as a mark of respect for the loss of their homes and those whose lives were taken by the Genii. They have given me the address for the planet they are moving to, and ask that we care for the injured until they are well enough to rejoin their clan.”

John smiled wanly at the three leaders, nodding his agreement, and then closed his eyes, listening to the tread of many people walking down the ramp. The jumper emptied out until it was just himself, Teyla and those who had been wounded in the attack.

Teyla rested her hand on his shoulder. “Your two Corporals are bringing the dead and injured from the village aboard now, Colonel.”

John nodded slowly then radioed the other jumper pilots, letting them know that the locals could be disembarked in their villages, but the dead and wounded were to be flown back to Atlantis. He’d need to send Stackhouse back to deal with the dead Genii, and they should send some supplies to whatever planet these people were heading for as well… but he wasn’t thinking clearly enough right now to formulate any definite plans.

“We’re all done here, Sir,” Banyon said at his shoulder, and John nodded slowly, a feeling of weakness washing through him, leaving him feeling shaky and disoriented.

“Sir?” Banyon went on. “Should we stay and escort the locals to the gate, Sir? Just in case?”

John thought about that for a moment, and then nodded again. Activating the radio, he gave the orders for all marines not involved in piloting or providing emergency care to the wounded to provide escort and protection for the locals, and then, as Banyon and Cachik stepped back out of the jumper he thought the hatch closed and lifted the jumper up, heading for the gate.

He reached his hand out towards the DHD, but the symbols were blurry, and he watched as Teyla pushed his hand aside and dialled the gate herself. “Atlantis,” he heard her say, “we are returning home with many injured people and some fallen marines. Please have medical standing by in the Jumper Bay.”

John aimed his jumper at the event horizon, slowing his pace as he flew through to Atlantis. He lifted the jumper up into the Bay, brought it down to land and thought it off, before slumping into unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

Adi had kept out of the way as John and Teyla had raced from the jumper, heading for the Control Room in response to Sergeant Stackhouse’s urgent radio call. Corporal Parkes had caught her eyes, raising his eyebrows as he said, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another,” and then he was gone too, no doubt on his way to assist with the situation.

Knowing there was no role for her to play in the unfolding drama, she’d shaken off her worry and carried on with her afternoon, heading down to biology to assist the scientists there for the last couple of hours before dinner, but her heart was troubled as she went. It seemed that barely a day could go past without John being in some sort of emergency situation. She checked the live database a couple of times while she was working, but there were no updates, and she was just thinking of heading to the mess when suddenly her new earwig radio chirped and she heard Carson’s voice calling her name.

She jerked a little, not at all used to this sort of intrusion, but then she reached up and tapped the radio as Evan had shown her, saying, “Yes, Carson? It is Adi.”

“I need you in the infirmary immediately, Adi. We’ve got multiple wounded coming in from off-world.”

Adi’s heart clenched at those words and she gasped. John had been off-world and this could only be him returning – and returning with so many wounded people that Carson was calling for her to help as well! “Oh! Yes, I shall come immediately.”

Carson didn’t say anything else, so Adi tapped the radio again to close the channel, then turned swiftly to Dr Lisewski. “I am sorry, I must go. There is a medical emergency,” and without waiting to hear what he might say, she ran out into the corridor and along to the transporter at the far end of the hall.

Stepping out of the transporter on the infirmary level, she was moving speedily along the corridor when suddenly there was a flurry of noise and movement behind her, and she swung around to see Carson running towards her pushing a gurney. Behind him came other gurneys and, behind them, many people stumbling along, leaning on marines. Adi gaped a little, seeing exactly why Carson had called for her.

And then the lead gurney reached her and her eyes widened in horror as she saw John lying unconscious, a blood-soaked bandage on his leg and another wrapped around his arm. “Oh!” she cried, but even amidst her shock, she stepped out of the way and let Carson race on past, joining in the flow of personnel as she hurried towards the infirmary doors.

As she entered, Carson and his precious cargo were nowhere in sight and Adi realised that John would’ve been taken straight through to the operating theatre. Pushing her fears for him aside as best she could, she turned to the first of the injured. It was Corporal Dency and she could see that he had been shot through the side. The blood was gushing out of the injury, and Dr Biro was working frantically to stem it as a nurse on the other side fitted an IV. Even as Adi stood there, Dr Biro said something, her tone sharp and urgent, and then the gurney was moving swiftly towards the second operating theatre, and they were gone, racing away to surgery.

Adi took a breath, trying to calm her frantically beating heart as she looked around. Who else was injured? How best could she help? The infirmary was a seething mix of wounded marines and bleeding strangers, with what looked like every available medically trained person on the base in amongst them all.

Pushing her fear for John aside and settling her mind, Adi started towards the radio button on the wall before remembering her new earwig radio. Tapping it, she said, “Chuck, please call for some blue-green personnel to join me in the infirmary. I shall need assistance.” She heard him acknowledge the call and then she was in amongst the throng, homing in on a stranger, someone local to the planet the Lanteans had been visiting no doubt, who had two evident bullet wounds and blood soaking through the pressure bandages.

She knew that John was in the best hands possible and nothing she did in this moment could help or hinder his survival, but there were many others who could benefit from her aid. Pushing all thoughts of him aside, Adi stepped right up to the side of the bed and began to do what she could to help.

***** *****

Evan had had quite a peaceful afternoon and was feeling relaxed as he finished up his conversation with the Badagh’s Chief Glassmaker. Beckoning his team over, he pointed to the new glass panels they’d ordered to fix the gate room after the explosion, and, together, he and Corporal Reed carefully lifted one of the wrapped packages, taking extra care to settle it comfortably in their hands. Glancing over, Evan could see that Coughlin and Rivers had the other package well balanced, so he turned and waved their farewells, smiling at the workers they passed as they headed out.

He liked visiting Badagh. The people here were friendly and helpful, always pleased to see the Lanteans and very skilled craftsmen. One of the women had sought them out to enquire after Natol, and Evan had been able to tell her that the little boy was happily settling into his new life with the Athosians, and was being welcomed in an official ceremony that very day. The woman had been quietly grateful, and Evan was feeling in charity with the world as he led his team out of the township and onto the path back towards the gate.

It was a long walk, and the day was unseasonably warm. Evan was sweating by the time they reached the gate clearing. The rubble from the C4 explosion was still scattered across the landscape, and they had to weave their way carefully through it all, making sure not to put any pressure on the glass panes that might cause them to crack. They were pretty robust though. The Badagh artisans had crafted them to be extra thick, given that they needed to withstand high winds at a great altitude – an unimaginable altitude for the Badagh people with their own buildings standing two storeys tall at the most.

Evan was humming as he and Reed gently lowered the glass to the ground by the DHD. Reaching out, he dialled the gate and waited for the wormhole to establish before sending through his GDO code. As the little light on the device turned green, he crouched down and together he and Reed lifted the glass again, following Rivers and Coughlin through the event horizon to home.

Emerging into the Atlantis gate room, Evan immediately felt his body tense with apprehension. The atmosphere was laden with disaster, and he quickly moved around behind the gate to lay down the glass panels before dismissing his team and mounting the staircase to the Control Deck.

“What’s happened, Chuck?” he asked as took the last step.

“I’ve just advised Sergeant Stackhouse that you’ve returned, Sir. He’ll be here in a moment to brief you.” Chuck glanced at Evan and, seeing the tension in his frame, carried straight on. “There was a Wraith attack off-world, Sir, and Colonel Sheppard went to deal with it, but while they were there, the Genii attacked. We lost some people, and there are a lot of injured in the infirmary – both our people and the locals. The jumpers just arrived back a few minutes ago.”

Evan felt the colour draining from his face, but kept his expression steady. “Thanks, Chuck.” He could see Stackhouse approaching.

“Sir,” Stackhouse greeted him deferentially. “Perhaps we can discuss this in Dr Weir’s office? I haven’t had time to properly brief her yet.”

“Of course,” Evan said, falling into step beside the Sergeant.

Dr Weir pushed her laptop aside the moment the two men came through the door, clasping her hands together in front of her as she waited for them to sit.

Sergeant Stackhouse had been debriefing the jumper pilots when Chuck had radioed to let him know Major Lorne had returned, so he was able to quickly give the details of the Wraith attack as he understood them, followed by the unexpected Genii assault, along with a list of the dead (two marines) and the wounded (far more than that).

“The Colonel’s been taken straight into surgery,” Elizabeth said when Stackhouse paused. “Dr Cole provided a quick update just now. Both Carson and Dr Biro are operating at the moment and they have a long list of personnel who need to be stitched back together.”

Evan nodded tightly, desperately wanting to go and see if John was okay. But he couldn’t, because Stackhouse had started talking again, saying they still had personnel on the ground on M3Y-290 escorting the locals to the gate. There was a risk that the Genii might launch a secondary attack, and there was the question over what to do with the Genii dead as well.

Knowing that he needed to take command of the situation, Evan shoved his own – very unprofessional – worries for John aside and focussed on the military imperatives. “Right, I’ll take four jumpers and two platoons of marines through to that planet now. We can ensure the locals make it through the gate to their kin, and then we’ll strip the weapons from the dead and gather the bodies up.”

He pursed his lips for a moment. From Stackhouse’s account, the Genii dead were scattered across three battle sites, each more than three clicks from the gate. It was tempting to leave them there, but… he didn’t want the Genii to realise that Colonel Sheppard had been neutralised. It wouldn’t do them any good if the enemy became aware that they’d managed to wipe out the Military Commander of Atlantis. And that meant Evan needed to do exactly what the Colonel would’ve done in this situation. And Colonel Sheppard had shown, time and time again, that he liked to return the Genii dead to their homeworld.

He turned to Stackhouse. “I don’t really want to load that many dead bodies into the jumpers. Are the tarpaulins we used to haul the sand for the garden available? We could heap the bodies onto those and then fly them to the gate that way. That’d be easiest I think.”

“Yes, Sir,” Stackhouse said, nodding. “That’s a very good idea, if you don’t mind me saying so, Sir. I’ll arrange for them to be brought to the Jumper Bay immediately.”

Evan nodded. “Right, and can you please arrange for supplies to be sent through to the planet these people are going to? Give it an hour or so, to make sure they’ve arrived, then send a jumper through with whatever food we can spare. Coughlin can take the lead on that mission, get him to check with the locals what else they need – tents, medicine, whatever.”

“Will do, Sir,” Stackhouse nodded.

Evan turned to Elizabeth. “Anything else, Ma’am?”

“It sounds like you’ve got everything in hand, Major. Thank you.” Elizabeth nodded gratefully and Evan stood and left, his hand already reaching for his radio to call for the marines he’d need to help with escorting the locals and gathering up all the dead.

As he made his way swiftly towards the Jumper Bay, he sent a heartfelt hope up into the ether that the mission would go smoothly with no further problems from the Genii.

***** *****

Adi worked her way around the entire infirmary doing what she could to help. Sometimes that was healing an aura – where the bullet wound was slight – and sometimes she actually drew energy from her cadre of blue-green supporters and worked to patch a blood vessel and stop the bleeding.

Although she’d had a lot of experience by now with healing physical wounds, it was still exhausting and nauseating and painful. Once she’d attended to all the injured, she moved to the side of the infirmary where there was a row of chairs, and slumped down onto Matthew’s lap, his naked torso pressing comfortingly against her own as she rested on him, drawing from his fresh, clean aura to help her slowly recuperate.

John was still in recovery. He’d survived the surgery, but was still being watched over very closely in one of the rooms adjacent to the operating theatre, and Adi wasn’t leaving the infirmary until she’d seen for herself that he was going to survive, until she knew for certain that he would recover.

Matthew shifted a little beneath her and Adi opened her eyes. “Are you all right, Matthew? Do you wish to leave?”

“No, Adi, it’s fine. Do you want to go out onto the balcony though? We can sit out there just as easily, and you’ll have the wind as well…” His voice trailed away as Adi shook her head.

“I wish to remain here, Matthew. I may be needed. I do not want to be difficult to locate.” It was the truth, even if it wasn’t the main reason for her wanting to stay right where she was.

Matthew nodded in understanding and Adi lowered her head back down. Matthew had such a soothing aura for her, it was very peaceful to just rest here with his beautifully compatible energies meshing with her own and flowing around them both.

It was more than an hour later before John’s gurney was finally pushed through into the main infirmary, and Adi sat up immediately. She tilted her head a little, listening closely to what was being said, and then sighed in relief as Carson radioed Dr Weir and advised her that the Colonel was out of danger.

She slid off Matthew’s lap and turned to face him. “Thank you, Matthew. I shall be healing the Colonel’s aura now, but I can manage this myself. I am well enough for you to return to your own duties now.”

“No worries, Adi. Just radio me if you need me to come back,” he said, pulling on his shirt before turning and slipping away.

Adi put her own top on slowly, deliberately taking her time to give herself a few more moments for her emotions to settle. When she was ready, she quietly approached John’s bed. Paul, the nurse, was fiddling with the IV, and Adi managed a small smile for him as she came to a stop beside the bed, gazing down at John’s lax body.

He was fast asleep – or possibly still drugged, Adi wasn’t sure. But he was breathing in and out, and the machines were beeping a comforting chorus of sounds that meant that he would be all right, that he’d survived yet another dangerous set of injuries.

Reaching her hands out, Adi slowly healed the aura over his thigh before moving her attention to his arm. There was no other damage, those two spots were the only places where John had been injured, but even so, he’d lost a lot of blood and had been unconscious when he’d returned to Atlantis. She sighed, wanting to reach out and touch him not just his aura, hold his hand, sit beside him, climb in under the covers and snuggle up against him, feel the warmth of his body, hear his heart beating beneath her ear… but however badly she might wish to remain at his side, John would not thank her for it.

With one last longing look at him, Adi nodded to Paul and returned to her seat at the side of the infirmary. She would wait here until John was awake, and then she would leave. Her aura was struggling with all the energies she’d expended tonight; she would set up her blankets on the end of the pier and sleep in the arms of nature, letting the soft sounds of the ocean and the gentle touch of the breeze rejuvenate her.

With that plan set in place, Adi settled her eyes on John’s still form and set her mind to just float as she waited for him to wake.

***** *****

Adi was still sitting on her chair when Evan came into the infirmary two hours later, having finally mopped up the aftermath of the Genii attack. He’d debriefed Dr Weir and Sergeant Stackhouse on the actions he’d taken on M3Y-290, and had heard about Coughlin’s departure for the planet where the refugees had gone. Now he wanted an update on all the injured personnel – and on one injured person in particular. Dr Weir had said John was out of danger, but Evan wanted to hear it from Carson’s own lips.

He was barely through the door when he saw Adi sitting at the side of the room, all alone. He immediately changed his trajectory, approaching her and speaking softly. “Adi? Are you okay?”

Adi turned her head and a smile broke out over her face as she saw who it was. She nodded a little tremulously in response to his question, but she was already rising to her feet and stepping forward, sliding in against his body and sinking into the reassurance and safety of his embrace, relishing the feel of his crisp, clean aura blending with hers after the dissonance of healing all the incompatible and damaged auras of the injured. 

Evan pulled Adi in a little closer, his arms tightening about her. He knew his feelings were probably showing on his face, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been so scared for John – arriving back in Atlantis unconscious, and with two bullet wounds in him – but he’d had to shelve that worry for all these hours as he went about his duties. Then Dr Weir had told him John was going to live which was such a huge relief, but that meant he needed to hide the relief, just as he’d had to hide his distress earlier, and he was emotionally exhausted from having to keep all of these feelings to himself. And now Adi was hugging him, and the look on her face as she’d seen him, the joy in her eyes when she’d looked up and discovered him there…

Knowing that her first response was to immediately seek a hug was incredible. He knew she was probably just after some comfort for John’s near miss – and was maybe offering him some comfort for that too – and no doubt she was after his aura energy because she would've been busy in the infirmary with so many injured, but regardless of the reasons, it still felt amazing to hold her in his arms like this. He leaned forward a little and let his forehead rest on the top of Adi’s head, relishing this chance to just be with her.

Adi was breathing deeply and evenly, relishing the feel of Evan’s aura blending with her own. She felt so safe here, in Evan’s embrace. She could feel the slight tension in him from John’s near miss, but there was little she could do to comfort him in such a public place. Instead, she let her body do the talking, hugging him as fully as she could, giving him this brief moment in time when he wasn’t alone.

And then Carson’s voice penetrated their blissful embrace, his soft brogue washing over them from where he stood on the other side of the room. “There you are then, Colonel. You’re safe, you’re in the infirmary.”

Adi drew back immediately, turning her head to see that John was finally awake. Evan turned his head as well, and, as his eyes met John’s, he felt Adi stiffen slightly. She’d seen the look too. John’s jaw was tight although his expression was carefully neutral, but his eyes were tortured, clearly signalling how distressed he was to have awakened to find Adi in Evan’s arms.

Evan started to pull away, but Adi turned back to him. “It is all right, Evan,” she said softly. “John knows of our friendship. He is just a little out of sorts with the injury and the surgery.” Her expression morphed into a delighted smile, her dimples showing as she said, “But he is awake! He is awake and that means that he will definitely be all right.”

“Let’s hear that from Carson then,” Evan responded, turning to cross the infirmary, but Adi stopped him, her hand reaching out to clasp his forearm.

“I will not come with you, Evan,” she said softly. “John will not wish it. I have already healed his aura so there is no reason for me to approach him again. You go and speak with Carson. It is time for me to leave.”

Evan frowned. “Adi…”

Adi shook her head. “It is all right, Evan. But I thank you for the hug.”

“You're welcome,” Evan said, returning the smile. He couldn’t thank Adi for hugging him, because that would reveal to anyone within earshot that he’d been distressed about something – or about someone – so he tried to deflect a little by smiling and saying, “Anytime you need to replenish your aura, I’m available.

But Adi didn’t smile back at him as he’d expected, instead she gazed straight at him, her expression filled with sadness and some other emotion he couldn’t identify. “Evan, if all I needed was someone’s aura,” she said softly, her voice rich with emotion, “I could have sought Matthew or Corporal Hendrix or… any of the other blue-green personnel.” Her hand drifted up and cupped his cheek. “Please, do not ever believe that I hug you only for the energy and balance your aura provides.”

Evan swallowed, stunned at the depth of feeling in Adi’s voice.

“I need to go now, Evan, and you must do what it is you came here to do.” She smiled gently at him, and then she was gone, slipping out of the infirmary doors, and Evan was left there, the feel of Adi resting against his body sharply silhouetted in his mind.

He stood for a moment, letting that last exchange settle into his bones, and then, shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, he turned towards his Commanding Officer’s bed where Dr Beckett was busy checking one of the dressings.

He had some medical updates to request.

***** *****

Carson hooked his stethoscope back around his neck, feeling the pressure of so many injured to deal with. It seemed that his infirmary only had two modes – quiet and peaceful, or hectic and stressful. He’d had to operate on five different people – two Lanteans and three of the off-worlders – and was just waiting for Dr Biro to finish her last surgery of the day. Glancing up at the long line of injured resting on the gurneys dotted around the room, he sighed. If it wasn’t one disaster it was another.

He was just finishing up with Colonel Sheppard when Major Lorne appeared at the end of the bed.

“Hey Doc, how is everyone?” Evan’s question may have been for Carson, but his attention was all on John who was looking pale but very definitely alive. John’s eyes held Evan’s for a moment before flicking away, a look of defeat in them that Evan had hoped never to see.

“Ah, Major. Give me a moment here and then I’ll give you the rundown,” Carson responded, bustling away to get a new IV bag.

Evan stood awkwardly at the end of the bed, waiting for Carson to return. After a minute or so, he decided John looked awake enough for a quick update. “The situation’s contained now, Sir. I took some troops to the planet and bolstered the security detail on the local’s pilgrimage to the gate. They all got safely off-world, and Coughlin’s taken some supplies through to the planet they went to, to tide them over until they can get back on their feet. And we gathered up all the Genii dead and sent them back through the gate. We’re getting quite the stockpile of Genii weapons, Sir. We might need to commission a second armoury to hold it all.” He rocked on his feet a little as John grimaced.

“Not really the way I wanted to get more weapons, Major,” he rasped, and Evan nodded grimly.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s done, Sir. The planet’s cleared and everyone’s safe.”

John nodded slowly, but then a light flush overtook his face.

“Sir?” Evan asked tentatively, unsure what was going on.

John’s eyes flicked to his. “I, um, I’m sorry about… before. When I, um, woke up. I know I, uh… I promised that I—”

But Evan cut him off. It was painful to watch John trying to apologise for feeling jealous. “It’s okay, Sir. I totally understand.” He paused for a moment, wanting to tell John he was an idiot because if he’d just let Adi sit with him in public, she wouldn’t have been hugging Evan in the first place. But the Colonel was looking very washed out, so instead, he just said, “You’d only just regained consciousness, Sir. You can’t be expected to have total control of your reactions in that situation.”

John nodded at that, pleased that Evan was so forgiving. He hadn’t forgotten the disastrous emotional fallout he’d caused with his jealousy the night he’d found Evan in Adi’s bed, and he wasn’t at all keen to repeat the experience.

Carson was back now, quickly fitting the new IV bag and watching for a moment as the drips started to fall. Then he turned to Evan. “Right, Major, let’s get this over with. The Colonel’s going to be in this bed for the next few days, and then on light duties for a week or two at least. The bullet through his arm hasn’t caused any permanent damage, although it’ll take a little physical therapy to get the muscle back to full power once it’s healed, but the bullet through the thigh nicked the artery there and he lost a lot of blood.”

“Hey, come on, Carson,” John said cajolingly. “You’ve replaced the blood and I can’t just lie around in here. Can’t Adi heal me? Please?”

Carson shook his head firmly, but his expression was kindly. “Your body needs to rest and recover, Colonel. You’re the most frequent visitor I have in this infirmary. Well, except for Rodney of course, with his papercuts and his splinters.”

Evan smiled at that, and even John’s grim expression lightened, but his tone was serious as he responded. “It’s because I’m the Military Commander, Carson. My job’s dangerous. But I need to be out there doing it, not stuck in here. Especially with the Genii threat.” His expression darkened suddenly as he remembered his stupidity in not checking for the ATA device on that damn DHD. That reckless forgetfulness had cost lives. He turned his head away, trying to hide what he was feeling.

Evan was gazing at his CO with compassion. He was well aware of where the Colonel’s thoughts had gone – if it’d been him he’d have been kicking himself just as hard. “We need a better way to detect the ATA devices on the DHDs, Sir. Something that can be automated, so we don’t have to remember it in the middle of an emergency situation.”

John turned his head back and caught Evan’s eyes. “Yeah.” He swallowed heavily, his eyes dropping down as his hand picked restlessly at the threads of the blanket. “Let’s get Rodney and Radek onto that straight away.”

“That’s enough shop-talk for now, Colonel,” Carson said. “Rest.” He gestured for Evan to follow him, and Evan nodded deferentially to John as he turned and followed Carson around the infirmary, listening to the details of how many walking wounded there were, how many of the injured were bed-bound. This was all information he needed in case there was an incursion into Atlantis itself or some other emergency that would necessitate an evacuation.

***** *****

It was during the debrief meeting the following morning that Carson lost his battle to keep John in the infirmary.

Lorne, Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Stackhouse, Coughlin, Zelenka and Dr Weir were all present for the lengthy and in-depth discussion over what had transpired the day before, and what could possibly be done to prevent a Genii attack in the future, if a similar emergency situation should arise.

Rodney and Radek had apparently been batting ideas back and forth the night before, and they were confident (well, Rodney was confident) that they could come up with a signal that could be sent through the gate as soon as it opened to check for the device; something similar to the test ping they’d used to ensure that their alterations to the device didn’t alert the Genii.

It certainly sounded feasible, and Evan found himself nodding his agreement, sure that Rodney would produce something that would fix the situation.

Carson then gave a lengthy update on the status of the wounded and their prognoses which included the Colonel staying in the infirmary for at least another day, and then being on light duties as he slowly recovered from his life-threatening wound.

“Doc,” Evan said as soon as Carson finished speaking, “the Colonel can’t languish in the infirmary and mope around the city for that long. We need his tactical mind and his unique skills back on the job.” He leaned forward a little, his expression earnest. “I’d like to propose that we let Adi heal him.”

Before Carson even had the chance to refute Evan’s request, Teyla was adding her own support for the suggestion, as were Rodney and Stackhouse.

Dr Weir nodded along as everyone spoke, and the moment they were done, she said, “I’d feel more comfortable, too – no offense, Major – if the Colonel were back on duty. Is there a medical reason for refusing to let Adi heal him, Carson?”

“Aye. The man doesna stop, Dr Weir. It’s one emergency after another, and he needs to rest and let his body heal naturally.”

Dr Weir pursed her lips as Evan leaned forward again. “Doc, this isn’t Earth where there are a dozen other Lieutenant Colonels to slot into Sheppard’s position while he takes a few weeks to recover. This is Atlantis, and he’s it. He’s all we’ve got. And if there’s another Genii attack on Atlantis, or an emergency off-world, we need the Colonel’s tactical mind and his off-the-wall thinking to ensure we come out on top.” Evan could see that Carson wasn’t being swayed at all by his arguments. “Look, Doc. We’re military. We’re here to defend the civilians, and how can we do that if we’re constantly being held in the infirmary while we mend? If that were me, I’d want Adi to heal me as quickly as possible so I could get back to doing my job. And the Colonel’s no different. If you’d found a new machine, some gizmo or other that speed-healed, you’d be using it in an instant. Just because this is a person, not a machine, doesn’t make the healing any less effective or any less beneficial to the big picture.”

“I support the Major’s position,” Stackhouse said. “Let’s get the Colonel back on his feet as soon as possible.” Coughlin nodded his agreement, as did everyone else in the room, and finally Carson sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“Aye. Verra well. I have enough other patients to look after without needing Colonel Sheppard whining about being bedridden.” He caught Evan’s eyes. “I do take your point about the medical technology. We’ve already found amazing things here in Atlantis that have vastly improved the medical care we can provide, and maybe you’re right that Adi’s skills are just another tool in the toolkit.” He nodded to himself. “Verra well. We can take the Colonel to the waterfall after this meeting then.”

“Thank you, Carson,” Evan said, hearing the sincerity in his own tone and hoping everyone would assume it was simple gratitude at the thought of being able to hand the military leadership of Atlantis back to his CO.

“Right then,” Elizabeth said. “Since that’s settled, I think we’re done. Thank you, everyone.” She pushed back from the table, gathered up her laptop, her notepad and pen, and led the way out of the conference room.

***** *****

Evan stood in his shower later that night, letting the warm water cascade over him, as memories of holding John in the waterfall played through his mind. With the bullet wound through his thigh, John had been unable to stand – or walk – without support, and Ronon and Evan had both been needed to help him. And of course, they’d all been dressed in just their board shorts, so Evan had had the spine-tingling experience of having his naked flesh pressed against John’s naked flesh… for over half an hour.

He wasn’t sure why Adi had started by healing John’s arm wound. If she’d started with his thigh, Evan and Ronon would’ve been out of the water much sooner, but Evan did not regret Adi’s choice. Not at all.

As he soaped his body he wondered if maybe she’d made that choice on purpose, to give Evan a chance to be close to the man he loved? It was certainly something that Adi might do. She’d shown no distress at all at the discovery that Evan was in love with the man she was dating. She’d been nothing but supportive – and filled with sorrow that he couldn’t just tell John how he felt. So maybe this had been her way of letting him have a little bit of closeness that he would otherwise never get.

He could feel his body reacting to the memories of John pressing against him, and he let his hand slip lower. He knew this was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he’d managed to keep his personal and professional lives well separated for all these years in Atlantis, and how could he possibly ignore what it had felt like to actually slide his hand across the skin just above John’s board shorts, to fit his shoulder into John’s armpit and feel the hair there brushing against him, to press his side right up against John’s?

Evan’s hand gripped and slid, moving up and down his shaft, twisting a little at the top, ripples of arousal running through his body as he brought the images he’d stored in his mind to the forefront of his consciousness. Of course, Adi was in those images too. She’d been standing very close, right in front of John, her hand reaching out to his injuries, the curve of her thighs, the sway of her hips fully visible to him, even with his head tilted forward against the intensity of the water. But Evan had promised Adi that nothing would ever happen between them without her consent, and he wasn’t going to break his word on that. He had never, and would never, use memories of her naked body, or the way it felt when she melted against him as they embraced, to fuel his private moments.

Instead, he flicked his mind back to the sense memories of John’s warmth bleeding into his side, the feel of his hip bone under Evan’s hand, the rasp of his chest hairs against the side of Evan’s own chest… Sinking into the delicious sensations, Evan shivered in anticipation as sparks of electricity skated lightly across his skin, pooling in his groin. Feeling his orgasm starting to crest, he stroked himself faster and faster, raggedly crying out as his body began to convulse, the ecstasy erupting from within him. 

Slowly he opened his eyes and watched as the water washed away the evidence of what he’d just done. He didn’t feel guilty. He had needs, just like every other adult in the galaxy – in two galaxies, even. And what he did here, alone in his shower, was perfectly okay, as long as it never went any further than these brief moments of bliss.

Turning the shower off, Evan reached for his towel, a light smile on his face. He knew he’d sleep well tonight.

Chapter Text

It was nearly 2300hrs when John arrived in his and Adi’s special suite. He was feeling quite ebullient, what with his restored health and not needing to languish in the infirmary… but also from that visit to the waterfall and Evan’s close and personal presence at his side.

Picking up the lighter from the kitchen counter, he made his way around the room from candle to candle, replacing one here and one there where they’d melted too far down to be useful. As he went, his mind skated back to those moments in the waterfall where Evan’s naked body had been pressing all up his side, and Evan’s arm had been warm against the skin of his back.

John shivered lightly as he thought of Evan’s hand wrapped around his hip, his fingers dipping close to the top of John’s board shorts. He really needed to thank Adi for healing his arm before his leg. He knew she’d done that for him, so he could enjoy Evan’s company for longer. Maybe it was wrong to be grateful, given the command relationship, but John had made his peace with that long since, and his feelings were all of gratitude for the opportunity to experience, even for a short time, something that he very badly wanted.

A smile lit his face as he thought of how supportive and accepting Adi was of his feelings for Evan. She really was incredible. But then the smile died away as he remembered the look he’d given them both when he’d seen them hugging in the infirmary as he woke. He needed to apologise to Adi for that; at least Evan had been nice about it which was perhaps more than John deserved after the last time he’d done it, and the fact that he’d promised that he’d never look at Evan with jealousy and anger again.

John slipped another candle stub out of its holder, crossing to the kitchen counter to get a replacement as he recalled actually shuddering in the waterfall. He could only hope that Evan and Ronon had assumed it was from the cold or from the healing. It hadn’t been from either. It had simply been his reaction to the illicit fantasies his mind had been presenting him with – ideas, hopes and wishes, all rioting through his mind in glorious technicolour intensity, fuelled by the feel of Evan’s body, pressing so intimately against his own.

John was emerging from the bedroom, the final candle adding its warmth to the general glow in the room, when the doors to the suite swished silently open and Adi came in. She saw him and a huge smile overtook her face, her eyes shining in joy to see John alive and well. She’d been so grateful that Carson had permitted her to heal him, and although she’d seen John in the jumper on the way to and from the waterfall, and then again in the mess at dinner time, none of those occasions had allowed her to be open in expressing her true feelings.

Adi hurried across the room towards him, seeing his arms opening in welcome as she approached. She slid her arms around him, sinking in against his chest as she relished the exquisite joy of his aura meshing seamlessly with her own and the warmth and solidity of his body beneath her touch.

John tightened his arms about her, his head resting against her head as he held her closely, enjoying the feeling of having her there with him like this.

It was a while before either of them spoke, but eventually Adi drew back a little. She reached her hand up and caressed John’s cheek, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I am so glad that you are well again, John. I feared for you when I saw you on the gurney, unconscious and bleeding so badly. It reminded me of when the Genii attacked us all together, and you were so terribly wounded, and I did not know if you would survive.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” John’s eyes filled with the pain of those memories, of the danger Adi had been in, the fear she’d felt. He shook the sombre feelings away. “It’s okay now, Adi. You’ve healed me. I feel great! Really great!” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, trying to lighten the mood, and Adi laughed.

“Since you are feeling so well, I would very much like to spend some time kissing you, John, and feeling your warmth against my skin as I lose myself in you.”

John shivered lightly at that comment, reaching out and taking Adi’s hand as he led her into the bedroom. This room had borne silent witness to a number of spectacular orgasms recently as Adi had lost some of her reticence and had encouraged him time and again to touch himself as she’d crept gradually closer to his body, crept closer to being a participant in his pleasure. John was looking forward to the moment when she’d actually be able to touch him as he came.

He reluctantly dropped her hand as he started to undress. Adi wasn’t ready for John to do as he’d always done in the past with his partners – hold them against him so they’d feel his arousal, kiss their necks and shoulders as he slowly undressed them, slide his hands over their skin, cup their breasts… send his fingers gliding lower as he uncovered the sensuous delights hidden beneath their slinky lingerie. It wasn’t time for that with Adi yet, so instead, he watched through hooded eyes, enjoying the sight of her luscious body slowly coming into view as she carefully folded her skirt and her blouse, stepped out of her shoes and unhooked her bra. Sometimes she removed her knickers too, other times she left them on, but tonight she was pushing them down her legs, and John felt his groin clench as he swiftly unbuckled his belt and got rid of the BDUs and his boxers, and then he was as naked as she was, apart from the dog tags which swung gently against his chest as he followed her into the bed.

Adi was lying on her side facing him, so John did the same, reaching out again to take her hand in his, intertwining their fingers and clasping firmly as the peace of being here with her settled softly against his soul. “I love you,” he whispered suddenly, surprising himself, and Adi’s cheeks flushed with pleasure.

“Oh, John. I feel the same way for you,” she responded gently, then shuffled forward a little until her breasts were squashing softly against his chest, her head resting against his shoulder.

John unlinked their fingers and slid his arm slowly and carefully around her waist. They’d never been in this position before, not like this. Usually, he was on his back when Adi snuggled up against him, and he was anticipating her feeling more vulnerable with him on his side. After all, he could easily roll on top of her from here, trapping her beneath him.

As if she’d heard his thoughts, Adi stiffened slightly and drew away, tilting her head up to gaze at him. “John? Could you lie on your back instead, please?”

John smiled gently, “Sure, no problems.” He was rolling as he spoke and a moment later Adi was back, her skin pressing against his own, the tension leaving her body as she snuggled in close.

They lay like that for several minutes, just being with one another, breathing softly together, and then Adi spoke. “John, I have an idea.”

John smirked. “Okay. I usually like your ideas. What’s this one?”

Adi slowly sat up, her brow a little furrowed as she sucked her bottom lip. “You know that I have not yet managed to touch you while you are pleasuring yourself, and I would like to try to do that. But I-I do not feel that I could do so from here, beside you. I… It is too close to you for me to feel completely safe.” She looked dispirited and forlorn as she said it, and John reached out his hand and softly stroked her shoulder. “It’s okay, Adi. You’ve come a really long way already, in a very short space of time. I don’t mind.”

Adi smiled a little tremulously at him. “That is very sweet of you, John, but I mind.” She drew a deep, settling breath, and then said, “My idea is that I will give you another foot massage, but this time you may touch yourself as I do so, instead of taking yourself off to the bathroom as you have always done in the past.”

John’s eyes flicked tightly closed, the thought of actually coming with Adi’s hands on his skin hitting him like a runaway train. “Jesus!” he breathed, his eyes opening and holding Adi’s. “Yes, yes, I’m up for that.”

Adi smiled cheekily, her dimples showing. “I can see that,” she said, tilting her head towards his groin where, yes, okay, despite the blankets covering him, there was still clear evidence that his body was definitely on board with her suggestion.

Laughing softly, Adi slid out of the bed and pulled the sheets and blankets away, leaving John lying naked before her. “Come,” she said, gently tapping the bottom of the bed in encouragement. “Will you slide down so that I may easily reach your feet?”

John was already in motion, lifting himself and shuffling down the bed until his feet were just off the edge. Adi had moved around the side of the bed to retrieve the bottle of almond oil, and John snaked out his hand as she passed, pulling her towards him. “Kiss me first?” he pleaded. “Please?”

Adi nodded happily, laying the bottle on the bed and leaning down to capture John’s lips, her thick, mahogany hair a halo around them as John brought his hand up to gently cup her shoulder. He loved that he could do that now, that Adi was able to tolerate his hands on her body as they did this. It was a sweet and gentle kiss, soft lips and gently stroking tongues, and John sighed in contentment as Adi drew away.

Moving to the bottom of the bed, Adi gazed at him, suddenly feeling a little uncertain. “I may not be able to stay touching you, John…” she said a little tentatively, and John nodded in understanding.

“It’s okay, Adi. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Sighing contentedly at John’s ready acceptance of her limitations, Adi uncapped the bottle, deliberately slowing her breathing to keep herself calm. This was the first time she would be touching John as he touched himself… touched himself there, where the evidence of his attraction to her was standing proudly away from his body, thick and strong.

A sudden memory of the Bola Kai slid through her mind and she shuddered slightly, even as she thrust it away. The Bola Kai had no place in this room. They had no place in this suite. This was a space filled only with love and care, gentleness and acceptance. This suite embodied her relationship with John and she would not let her past experiences with the Bola Kai derail what she was hoping to achieve tonight.

Drizzling the oil onto John’s foot, she began the massage, her eyes fixed on John’s hands where they were slowly caressing his own chest, circling and pinching a nipple with one hand as the other slithered down, stopping to draw circles amidst the hair on his stomach before gliding lower and lower… until he was gently playing with his balls while his other hand slid across to caress his other nipple.

Adi could feel the now familiar sense of arousal starting up in her own body, the heavy weight low in her pelvis, the warmth of her skin, the slight goose-bumping all over as she watched John’s mouth fall open and his breathing accelerate, ever so slightly. It was mesmerising to watch him as she moved her hands carefully over his foot, pressing and gliding, stroking from toes to ankle even as John’s hand settled around his engorged cock and began to stroke from root to crown, mirroring her own movements.

A wave of joy slid through her with the knowledge that she was finally managing to touch John while he touched himself. Her fear slipped away, the final shreds of tension disappearing as she realised that she could do this, she could be with John in this way. Her hands moved more confidently, more certainly, sliding between his toes, pressing into the nexus of nerves in his instep, circling his ankle, kneading his calf and up towards his knee.

John’s breathing grew more erratic as Adi’s hands moved higher. He imagined her hands sliding up over his knees, gliding across his inner thighs and up, up, up towards the place where his cock was begging for her touch, desperate to feel her gentle hands enclosing his rigid shaft and stroking it, just as his own calloused hand was. His other hand had left his nipples, slipping down to play with his balls and slide over the sensitive skin of his perineum. His body was tingling all over, his hooded eyes watching Adi’s hands, her arms, her body…

Her enticingly dusky nipples were tightly purled, her skin flushed with warmth and her eyes large pools of liquid heat as she swept her hands up his leg and down again. John felt the orgasm starting low in his spine. His toes started to curl and he felt Adi’s hands still, but he couldn’t stop now. His hand was gripped tightly around his shaft, moving in a blur of speed as he was propelled higher and higher… then suddenly the wave broke and he was coming and coming and coming…

Adi’s hands were wrapped around John’s feet as she watched his whole body convulse, his expression showing nothing but exquisite ecstasy… Her body was flushed from top to toe, her breathing distorted, and there was a wetness between her legs as she watched John’s cock pulsing, striping his chest with white streaks of pleasure. Her hands clenched slightly at the sight. John looked so beautiful in this moment, his back arched, his muscles tightening before suddenly going lax as he sank back into the bed, his movements languorous now as all the tension bled from his frame and he lay there, panting softly, a look of blissful rapture on his face.

A sudden longing to be a part of this, to be with him, filled her, and Adi released her hold on his foot and climbed onto the bed, crawling upwards until she was right next to him, reaching out to clasp his hand gently in her own.

“Hey,” John murmured languidly, his eyes still closed. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Adi said, “I am fine,” and John could hear the emotion in her words.

Cracking his eyes open, he could see tears on her cheeks, and he reached his hand up to brush them away, only realising at the last moment that it had cum on it. He pulled away a little, quickly swapping it for the hand Adi had been holding, and gently wiped the tears from her cheek with his fingertips. “Let me go clean up, and then we can snuggle,” he said, and Adi nodded, her eyes following him as he rolled to the side of the bed and away.

She drew a deep, shuddering breath. It had been beautiful. So incredibly beautiful to be a part of John’s pleasure. She slipped off the bed for a moment to retrieve the massage oil and recap it, placing it away in the drawer before sliding back in under the covers.

Her eyes were fixed on the spot where John would reappear, and she could feel the smile lighting her face as he came out of the bathroom and walked towards her. John was smiling too, and he slid into the bed, lying on his back and drawing Adi in against him. “Thank you,” he said softly, kissing her head, and then, suddenly and inexplicably, Adi found that she was crying.

Her emotions welled up inside her, too intense to contain, and the tears ran freely down her cheeks as she sobbed against John’s chest. She couldn’t believe she’d actually been able to do it, she’d managed to touch John as he was touching himself. She’d been so uncertain if she’d ever be able to be a true part of John’s pleasure, and yet she’d come so far along the path towards full intimacy, and John had been so understanding and supportive. She felt as if she were the luckiest person in the universe to have found such a man.

John held Adi closely, snuggling her in against his chest as she wept. He wasn’t sure why she was crying right now but, as he’d once told Rodney, if your woman was crying you just needed to hold her until she stopped. And so he did that, but with far more tenderness in his heart than had ever been there when Nancy had been crying. Whatever reason Adi had for tears right now, John wanted to give her as much emotional support as he could.

And so they lay there in the suite, curled up together as Adi released all the tension that had been holding her back, and John held her safe in the curve of his arms.

***** *****

The next few days were busy ones as John met with Lorne, Stackhouse and Timmons – newly appointed to Team Leader and feeling quite chuffed at the trust that was being placed in him – to discuss the outcomes from the Genii’s latest attack.

Rodney, with Radek’s input, had managed to produce his test blip, and they’d dialled into Yokin’s planet and tested it on the DHD there, since they hadn’t doctored that one. The test was a success, the blip coming back with a flashing red light, and Rodney had nodded in triumph, his work here done.

John and his Military Command team had all agreed there was nothing more they could do to mitigate the risk they took every time an ATA positive person stepped through the gate, and at least they now had an automatic system for detection that didn’t rely on any one person remembering the need to check for the Genii device.

The funerals for the two marines who had fallen to the Genii guns were held in the gate room with most of Atlantis in attendance, as they honoured the marines’ contribution to the Pegasus galaxy, and acknowledged their sacrifice in the line of duty.

John’s own feelings on the matter were, surprisingly, not buried deep inside him as they would’ve been in the past. He’d actually spoken to Heightmeyer about it during his compulsory psych appointment – had shared his feelings of guilt and anger that he’d forgotten the threat his people faced – but Kate had assuaged some of that guilt by pointing out that the lives of the entire Expedition could not rest solely on John’s conscience. No-one else had remembered either, and John had been leading his people in an emergency situation to defend civilians who were about to be culled – and they had succeeded in saving them all from the Wraith. That two of his marines and three of the locals had been lost to the Genii attack was not, in any way, John’s fault; the fault lay squarely on Cowen’s shoulders because he had proven himself to be a craven coward with no regard for life whatsoever, and to have the ability to carry a vendetta far beyond any sensible endpoint.

John had left Kate’s office feeling, not absolved of his guilt, but at least no longer letting those deaths eat him from the inside out. The fact that they would have an automated warning system now, with Rodney and Radek’s new test ping being written into the coding for every time a wormhole was opened, was doing a great deal to help him set this matter behind him.

The locals who’d been wounded by the Genii had been patched up and sent through the gate to reunite with their brethren. Sergeants Stackhouse and Coughlin had led them to their new home, checking that all was well and returning with the news that it was. Yokin had sent his heartfelt thanks yet again for the support and assistance the Lanteans had provided in their time of need.

And so things began to settle inside the city once more.

***** *****

“I don’t know that it’s wise, Colonel,” Elizabeth said. She’d already said it twice, but John didn’t appear to be hearing her concerns.

John sighed, shaking his head a little as he gazed down at the table. Lifting his eyes to hold Elizabeth’s, he tried again to get her to understand. “Elizabeth, we don’t give in to terrorists. It’s one of the guiding principles of the American way of life. And I’m not going to cancel the beach party on Capeliga just because the Genii are assholes.”

Rodney shifted beside him and John took a deep breath, acknowledging to himself that Elizabeth needed logic to sway her, not obscenities.

“Dr Weir, if I might,” Evan said from the other side of the table, deciding it was time for someone else to have a go. “The Genii have shown that it takes them some time to regroup after an attack, before we’re at risk again. The Capeligan Stargate doesn’t have an ATA device on it – we know that for a certainty. We won’t be triggering them to come and find us there, and even if they were to randomly choose that planet to visit, the gate alarm will alert us to the problem, and we’ll be at the beach, anyway, which is several days’ hike from the gate.” He could see that Elizabeth was watching him intently, listening to what he had to say, so he went on. “It’s true that the Genii do have the address for Atlantis – and that’s something we might consider on another day – but it’s also true that they’ve tried and failed to take the city with both an infiltration through the gate, and with an infiltration via Ancient warship. We’re as safe here in Atlantis as we’re going to be. The Colonel and I have ensured there are no off-world missions planned, and no in-city explorations scheduled for those two days, so – all things being equal – there should be no emergencies to deal with. And we’ll be leaving troops behind anyway to keep watch for anything going wrong – that was always the plan. If you want, we can increase the number of personnel left behind, perhaps rotate the marines so that some can come for the day or the evening or the next morning, but not all of it.” He glanced at John and saw a slight nod of approval.

Elizabeth slumped back in her chair. It felt wrong to leave Atlantis so unguarded, but as John had said, giving in to terrorists was not something they did.

Kate shifted a little in her seat and John’s attention flicked to her as she began to speak. “From a mental health perspective, our people have been looking forward to this outing for several weeks at least. The mood in the city has been sombre following the last Genii attack, but in the last day or two spirits have been rising as they realise the chance to relax in a safe and fun environment is almost here. Many of our people have never been to Capeliga before either, and they are eager to visit and find out more about our support planet. I believe this party should go ahead. To do otherwise will cause a drop in morale that I don’t feel is necessary at this time, given that the military are in support of proceeding.

Elizabeth turned her head slightly and gazed out the window, her eyes hooded as she considered.

“Lorne and I talked about it,” John said, his tone far more conciliatory than it had been earlier. “I do acknowledge that the Genii threat is there, so we feel it would be wise to take the Avenger with us to Capeliga. She has a cloak so there’s no risk of alerting the Wraith, the Travellers, or the rogue Asgard to the location of the planet, and it’ll mean we have a way to get back to Atlantis without needing to go through the gate, if that becomes, for any reason, a problem. I don’t think there’s going to be any issue with this ‘Lisbeth. The scientists and the marines are all excited, and so are the Athosians who are joining us. It’ll be very good for morale.”

Elizabeth drew a deep breath and then turned back to the table. “Very well. You’ve all convinced me. The party can go ahead. But Major Lorne? Please do roster some extra troops to stay behind. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious.”

Evan nodded. He had in mind a group of marines who’d been caught watching porn in the communal movie room late last night. Evan might’ve overlooked the breach himself, accepting that a bit of light relief was necessary sometimes, but the timid scientist who’d stumbled upon them had been very distressed. This would be a good way of cementing their CO’s words about thinking before acting, and appropriate activities in public spaces.

The meeting had moved on while Evan had been thinking. John was saying that Sergeant Timmons had successfully led the mission to Peluvia and they now had a stockpile of one of the minerals needed to make the personal shields. He was grinning as he said it, his eyes lighting up, and Evan felt a warmth around his heart at John’s enthusiasm and pleasure in getting closer to being able to protect his people. 

Rodney butted in then, explaining the assay results on the rocks brought back from the abandoned mine on M2Y-389. They were indeed the second mineral needed, and that left them with only one more ingredient to find. He glanced at Evan who immediately advised that he would roster his own team to visit the mine after the beach party, so he could work out how they could extract the mineral from the rock.

The moment Evan stopped speaking, Rodney jumped straight back in. “I’ve calculated the distance from the event horizon at which we could place the rock barrier Teyla’s asked for, and Radek had his engineers work out how best the Avenger could transport a rock. It’d be a lot simpler if we had beaming technology on the ship of course, but without it, Zelenka thinks we could use a jumper to hoist the rock up on top and lash it down – you know, the same way we carried the new gate to Badagh. They’re constructing a support base that will fit on top of the ship and carry the rock without damaging the hull. We’ll be restricted to harvesting rocks from planets with a gate though, so the jumper can travel there that way while the Avenger flies there. But apart from that, the Mission ‘Give All Our Allies A Rock’ is a go.”

John smirked. He knew Rodney wasn’t keen on the idea, but it certainly had merit. “I’ll let all the team leaders know to scout for rocks of the size we need when they’re out on other missions. It’d be helpful if we could find a planet that was made of huge rocks and we could source them all from one place, but without that, we’ll just need to look around at the terrain as we go. There’s too much else happening at the moment to make this a priority, but we can certainly progress it in line with our other objectives.”

The meeting broke up then, and Evan headed out to put the finishing touches to all the arrangements. There were a lot of logistics involved in carting over a hundred and fifty people to another planet for a party. But he was smiling as he went, looking forward to the chance to relax on the beach. And John would be there. And Adi. What could possibly go wrong?

***** *****

The day of the party dawned bright and cheerful on Atlantis. Evan was out on the pier jogging as the first of the sun’s rays peeked up over the horizon and started to bathe the city in gold, and he felt his pleasure rising in anticipation of the day ahead. He was smiling as he had a quick shower, dressing himself in his BDUs for the first part of the day, but making sure he’d packed his board shorts and a towel, along with some casual clothes and his sleeping kit, in his backpack.

The weather on Capeliga was expected to be warm and sunny, even overnight, so although a number of tents had been packed into the Avenger the afternoon before, Evan wasn’t expecting them to be needed. The food would all be transported on the Avenger too, and once they’d reached Capeliga, the first of the jumpers should arrive with a batch of marines ready to offload all the supplies and transport it to the beach where Evan could oversee the set up. The rest of the jumpers would arrive an hour or two later, decant their passengers at the beach, and swing back to Atlantis to bring more of their people through. Evan was hoping everyone would have arrived by late morning so they could all enjoy a truly awesome Capeligan autumn celebration. 

He and Adi had visited Capeliga a few days before, discussing all the in-depth ins and outs of the farming venture; what her people had planted in which fields and when; how to gather seeds and stock from the ripe vegetables and fruit; the times of year when they’d collected the Horan wool; how many of the crab-things they’d caught when they’d visited the beach… Everything that could ensure that the Lanteans made the best use of the opportunity they’d been given without upsetting the delicate balance of nature. Evan had felt quite chuffed when the Colonel had handed him the entire project of overseeing their support farm and getting everything up and running perfectly, including the spinning and weaving equipment needed to turn the Horan wool into the soft and silky blankets that Evan so enjoyed sleeping with.

Sheppard had told him that as soon as a full yearly plan was in place, and all the repairs and so on were complete, the ongoing management would be placed in the hands of Sergeant Coughlin, and Evan had thought that a very good choice. Coughlin was a solid and dependable man who understood the importance of Capeliga to Atlantis’ continued safety and survival, and could be relied on to make sure everything ran smoothly.

Shaking off his introspection, Evan left his quarters and headed for the mess to grab a quick breakfast-to-go. Since he’d be boarding the Avenger for the journey, he needed to do a full handover and briefing for Sergeants Stackhouse and Timmons on managing the logistics of gathering all the Athosians and Lanteans who would be attending the party, and getting them aboard the jumpers at the right moments. Stackhouse would be staying behind, in command of the city, but would swap out with Coughlin after the bonfire later that night, so they each got to enjoy some of the recreation that was on offer.

The handover went smoothly – Evan had expected nothing less – and he hurried away to the Avenger. He needed to oversee the loading of the food and all the paraphernalia required to make the party go smoothly. The hyperspace flight was expected to take about four hours, and they needed to be there long before the revellers arrived in order to get everything set up – the barbecues and trestle tables, some shade tents for the mess area, the eskies, chairs for those amongst the civilians who weren’t comfortable sitting on the ground, the volleyball net… So much to do, but Evan was looking forward to it with a lightness of heart he hadn’t expected.

He tapped his radio as he jogged towards the Avenger, checking in with Sergeant Coughlin who was already at the ship. Everything seemed to be going smoothly and Evan found himself grinning in anticipation as he moved swiftly through the city’s corridors and out onto the pier.

***** *****

An hour or so later, Elizabeth made her way carefully through the city towards the Avenger. She had deliberated over whether to go in the jumpers with the rest of the Expedition, or if she should take this opportunity – when they weren’t anticipating any space battles – to actually fly inside the warship that the Genii had unintentionally gifted them.

She’d been aboard before, of course. McKay had given her a whirlwind tour which included a lot of disgruntled shouting at the scientists who’d been patching it up at the time. She’d ended up asking Dr Zelenka to take her through again about a week later when the flurry of activity had died down, knowing that he would explain things more gently and in a way she could readily understand. It was a lovely ship, she just wasn’t sure if she should take the extra four hours it would need to get there.

When she’d broached the idea with the Colonel, however, he’d grinned his boyish grin and bounced on the balls of his feet, saying that yes, definitely, she should come fly in the spaceship with him. And so here she was, heading for her first space flight on the inaugural ship of Atlantis’ fleet. She didn’t count the Daedalus or the Apollo – they belonged to Earth. But the Avenger was hers – theirs. The Avenger belonged to the Lanteans.

That thought had her smiling a little as she reached the entranceway, and she gingerly stepped aboard and wandered through the halls, expecting to find someone to ask for directions. She didn’t need to in the end as the bridge was quite easy to find, and, as she arrived there, she stood for a moment and gazed about.

“Welcome aboard, Ma’am,” Major Lorne said deferentially from beside her, and Elizabeth startled a bit, not having heard him come up. “We’ll be ready to launch in about ten minutes.”

“Thank you, Major. Where shall I sit during the flight?”

“Um, well,” Evan swung around to look. They had a minimal flight crew for this flight, not needing to take any readings or perform any specific tasks like transporting a stargate or a giant rock, but the consoles on the bridge were still all occupied. Rodney, Miko and Simpson were standing at the ready, with one of Dr Z’s staff down in the Engineering section in case of problems. “Um, we usually sit on the dais, Ma’am, if that will suit you? Either the Colonel or I’ll be sitting there as well – whoever’s not flying – and Adi, of course, to help buffer the tiredness.”

Elizabeth nodded, smiling. “Then I shall do as the Romans do,” she said, settling herself down a little way from the captain’s chair and gazing about. Major Lorne had disappeared from the bridge, no doubt seeing to the last of the loading, and she was still busy trying to work out what everything did when the Colonel appeared, Adi one step behind him.

“Hey, Elizabeth, didn’t Lorne offer you the chair?” John asked, and Elizabeth shook her head, mock-pouting. “No, he said I could sit on the dais like the rest of you do.”

John laughed, crossing to where Rodney was making bleating noises, as Adi sat down, right next to the Command Chair.

Elizabeth moved a little closer. “What is it exactly that you do to help, Adi?” she asked, and Adi frowned a little in thought.

“I do not know exactly, Dr Weir. Both the Colonel and the Major have said that it is helpful to them to have me here, but I do not do anything in particular. I lean against the leg of whomever is flying and our auras blend together, and then I just set my mind to drift.” She glanced at Elizabeth, unsure if her answer would be acceptable. She and Elizabeth did not have a close friendship and, although Adi was grateful that Elizabeth had altered her stance and welcomed her to the city as a full resident, there was still much distrust to overcome.

“Does it drain your aura to help in that fashion?” Elizabeth asked, wanting to find a way to mend her relationship with Adi, and thinking that maybe chatting about things Adi was comfortable with might help. She knew she’d done a great deal of damage with her earlier attitude, but she’d come to see that Adi was a valuable resource, and was genuinely pleased to have her living in Atlantis with them.

“Not at all,” Adi responded. Her eyes flicked to John as he turned away from Rodney and came towards them. “I feel well rested and very calm afterwards. I do not think the Colonel would ask it of me if it caused me problems.”

John threw himself down into the captain’s chair at that moment, tapping his radio to check in with Lorne. “Are we done yet, Major?”

“Yes, Sir. The last of the supplies are aboard and the marines have just cleared the entrance way. You can seal the doors, Sir. I’m on my way to the bridge.”

John clicked the radio off, thought the hatch closed and locked, and then brought the systems online, as Lorne appeared beside him, settling himself down between Adi and Elizabeth.

All systems were showing green as John flicked through the various screens. Evan was looking closely too. They’d agreed to fly half each – John would take off and do the first two hours, Evan would do the last two hours and land. But if anything were to go awry, knowing his way around the systems would be very helpful. They’d only had the Avenger out for half a dozen flights so far, and it was still new.

It wasn’t long before John declared them ready – with McKay’s endorsement – and he opened a channel to the Atlantis Control Room. “This is the captain of the Avenger. We are ready to depart.”

“You’re cleared for launch, Sir,” Chuck responded. “We’ll see you on Capeliga.”

Adi had waited until they were about to lift off before moving closer to John and wrapping her hand around his calf. She’d felt a bit self-conscious doing it earlier, when he’d first sat down, because Dr Weir had been watching. But Evan was between herself and Dr Weir now and John needed her support, so she slid her hand into place, smiling beatifically at the feel of their auras blending, and laid her head softly against John’s knee.

John was busy bringing the engines to full power and then thinking the ship up into the sky. Up – up – up, and then they were leaving the city behind as they moved towards the upper atmosphere. He thought of their destination and mentally asked for a hyperspace window, and moments later they’d made the jump, the streaks of hyperspace showing out of the viewing window in front of them. As his hand drifted down to rest against the back of Adi’s neck, he turned to Elizabeth and asked, “So, what do you think?”

“It’s very impressive, Colonel,” Elizabeth responded, gazing at the blue and white streaks that she more normally saw through the Daedalus’ windows. “What happens now?”

“Ah, well, now we sit and chat until it’s time for Lorne and I to swap over. Then we sit and chat until we get there.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Okay. I’m game. What shall we chat about?”

As John and Evan both made improbable suggestions, Adi let her mind gently drift away into the trance-like state that seemed to help both men minimise the effects of flying a warship through space using nothing but the power of their minds.

Chapter Text

They reached Capeliga just at the four-hour mark, and Evan was ready as the ship dropped out of hyperspace, thinking the cloak on immediately, and scanning the solar system for any activity. There was none, and he and John glanced at each other, relief in their eyes. This had been a risk, bringing the Avenger here, but they’d agreed that leaving her behind in Atlantis was foolhardy with so many of the Lantean military personnel out of the city.

If anything did happen to the Atlantis gate, they needed a way to get back and overcome whatever had gone wrong in their absence. But luckily there were no stray hive ships or Travellers passing through the system, so Evan aligned the Avenger for re-entry, bringing her down through the atmosphere and skimming over the trees until they’d reached the village.

Adi had agreed that they could land in the impilli field, which was really the only cleared space large enough to accommodate the ship. They planned to leave both the cloak and shield up in case of a Wraith attack, but also to keep the impilli from doing any damage.

The Avenger settled on the ground so gently that there was barely even a bump, and John glanced at Evan and wiggled his eyebrows, smirking his approval of Evan’s piloting skills. He got a full grin in response, dimples and all, and the sight caused him to have to look away, his breath catching in his throat.

Evan powered the ship down, then reluctantly lifted his hand away from where it had been resting against Adi’s neck. The flight was over now and there was no further reason to touch her, but that didn’t change the fact that he wanted to.

Adi had sat herself up straight and was now blinking her eyes and looking around a little vaguely. “Have we arrived?” she asked, and John nodded from where he was getting to his feet beside her.

“Yep, we’re here.” He glanced at his watch. “The first of the jumpers with the marines aboard should arrive in about ten minutes. We made perfect time.”

Evan stood and stretched. “Natol and his family will be about five minutes behind them, as soon as we radio through the go-ahead.”

It’d been agreed that while Evan took the marines and the supplies straight through to the beach and got everything set up, John and his team would provide an escort for Adi as she introduced Natol, his brother Mikal, and his new parents to the delights of her home planet. She had promised Natol a visit and was greatly looking forward to the chance to let him see the peace and tranquillity in which she had lived.

Teyla had chosen to fly in the jumper with Natol and her people, wanting him to have the comfort of a familiar face, and Ronon had decided to accompany her rather than coming on the Avenger. John had been glad about that, because Ronon was not well suited to four hours sitting around doing nothing.

“Right!” Rodney said, bustling up, his laptop hooked under his arm. “If you don’t need me for anything else, I’ll be catching the next jumper back to Atlantis. I’ll reappear later this evening with the fireworks.”

John nodded. “Yeah, okay, we’re good, you can go.” He was a bit disappointed that Rodney wasn’t going to stay, but he totally understood his glee at having hours and hours and hours to himself in the lab with almost no scientists about to disturb his discoveries. And sunshine and sand really weren’t Rodney’s thing. “Just don’t forget to come back, McKay.”

Rodney huffed and glared and babbled his way off the ship, with John, Elizabeth, and Adi following.

Evan was already outside, watching for the arrival of the jumpers and, just as John cleared the hatch, the gate alarm sounded in his ear.

“Jeez that’s loud,” he said as it cut out with Corporal Parkes announcing his arrival on the planet.

“Yes,” Evan said with feeling, glancing towards Adi. “It is. Very loud.”

Adi smiled gently at him, knowing full well what he was thinking about. She breathed deeply of the fresh air and slowly twirled on the spot, her arms outstretched and her eyes closed. “Oh, I have missed this,” she said softly, almost to herself.

“It’s only been a few days,” Elizabeth said, surprised to see Adi’s reaction. “Weren’t you here with Major Lorne just last week?” She caught John shaking his head at her, but it was too late to change what she’d said now.

Adi laughed softly, the sound self-deprecating. “You must think me foolish, Dr Weir, but this was my home for all the years of my life, and the scents and the feel of the breeze against my skin… it is very uplifting for me.”

The first jumper appeared then and Evan disappeared to get the marines started on carting all the gear, as John turned to Elizabeth and Adi. "Let’s make our way to the heart of the village. I told Corporal Swindon to land behind the houses in the usual spot.”

He waved to the marines in the field as they passed, knowing they’d be feeling jealous of those attending the beach party; but they were already enjoying a week of relaxing and country living, and their role in the farming of Capeliga was important. He knew Lorne had noted the names and would make sure that these troops had the chance to participate in the next party, whenever that might be.

The gate alarm sounded again and cut off as Swindon announced her arrival on the planet, and not long after, the jumper came into view, setting down to the side of the village. Natol was sitting on Teyla’s lap in the co-pilot’s seat, his brother standing beside him, both gazing out the window in wonder, and John grinned at them, willingly returning Natol’s enthusiastic wave.

The Athosians and Ronon disembarked, and Rodney and his scientists boarded, and within moments Corporal Swindon was lifting off, and John was left with Adi, Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, and Natol’s family. Smiling lightly in welcome, he turned to Adi. “This is your planet, Adi, so why don’t you lead the way?”

And Adi, who had knelt down to hug both Natol and Mikal, stood back up and, smiling happily, moved off towards the heart of her village, wanting to share with Natol and his family all the things that had meant the most to her here.

 ***** *****

The two hours they’d allowed themselves for the visit to Adi’s village sped by, and the jumpers from Atlantis were arriving now with the partygoers aboard. They skimmed across the top of the village centre, hovering for a few minutes as the pilots pointed out the features of the farm to their passengers, before spearing straight on towards the beach.

John tapped his radio and asked one of the jumpers to stop and collect them on its way back. There was no point trying to catch a ride as they arrived on the planet because they’d all be chock-full of personnel, and John had nine in his group here. He glanced around, seeing the contented look on Adi’s face, the boredom on Ronon’s. But Natol was dancing excitedly about with Mikal, having just had his first ever impilli ride, and John grinned to see the little boy’s joy. It’d been a good idea to let Adi share her home with Natol and his family. They’d had a good time exploring the pethri fields and running through the orchards, and had even visited Adi’s little cottage in the glade on the far side of the river. 

John had been caught up in the serenity of Adi’s cottage, thinking it would make a lovely retreat if he and Adi were to come and spend a night or two here. But then he’d realised that he wouldn’t be able to bring her here in secret, and there was no way he’d be telegraphing his intent to have a romantic getaway with his – his – um, his… girlfriend.

That word had provoked a mini panic attack, but Adi had slipped past him then, a deeply peaceful smile on her face, her whole body radiating calm delight, and he’d settled himself back down, accepting that she was his girlfriend and that it wasn’t something he needed to freak out about. He’d managed to date her for several months now without totally screwing it up and losing her. He should perhaps cut himself some slack and trust that Adi wasn’t going to let him screw things up so badly that she dumped him. After all, she’d had plenty of chances already to cut him loose, and she hadn’t. She’d just embraced all of his uselessness and kept on loving him. That thought brought a warm glow to his heart.

They were crossing back over the bridge when John spotted one of the jumpers pulling away from the long line that was heading back towards the gate. It settled down on the ground by the village instead, and John led his little group through the houses and out the other side, making sure they all boarded the jumper amid the babble of conversation going on. Elizabeth had made friends with Balith and Indira, and had been talking with them the whole time they’d been exploring the farm set-up, and John was pleased to see her looking so relaxed. In his opinion, she didn’t get out of the city often enough and he knew today would be very good for her.

He made his way to the front of the jumper as the rest of the group found seats and settled down. Adi had chosen to sit beside Ronon on one of the bench seats, snuggling up against him, and John knew that was because of Natol’s incompatible aura. She’d been hugging him and holding his hand all through the explorations of her home, and as much as he knew she loved the little boy, touching him was very challenging for her. 

Knowing he was a lousy backseat passenger because of the way the jumpers responded to the strength of his gene, John reached out and tapped the pilot – Corporal Dixon – on the shoulder. “My turn,” he said, gesturing with his head, and Dixon obligingly stood and moved out of the way. John sat down happily, the thrum of anticipation running through him. He was looking forward to this party, this chance to relax and have some fun with his people.

It was a thirty-minute flight from the village to the beach Adi had shown them on their first visit to Capeliga all those months ago. It was a lovely spot, and the perfect size for a gathering. The forest came down close to the shoreline, but there was a good stretch of beach – certainly wide enough and long enough for all sorts of activities.

As John brought the jumper in to land, he could see a volleyball game in progress, as well as some enterprising souls busy making an Atlantis-shaped sandcastle, and a beach cricket match going on as well. There were also plenty of people stretched out on towels or gathered in groups, chatting. The water was sparkling as the sun glinted off the waves, and the islands were standing out against the rich deep blues, cheerful sentinels guarding the safety of the beach. John was feeling a growing eagerness to get out there and enjoy some surfing. Lorne had sent bodyboards as well as surfboards, and there were plenty of people swimming in the shallows – and a group of people snorkelling in a cluster a little further down the beach, which piqued John’s curiosity. But all in all, it seemed everyone who had already arrived was having a good time.

Having landed and decanted his passengers, John let Dixon back into the pilot seat so he could go and collect the last of the expedition members who were listed to attend. But he asked him to wait for a moment as John stripped off the BDUs he’d been wearing for the Avenger flight and the tour of the village, and pulled on his board shorts and t-shirt. Then, his duffle bag in hand, he gave Dixon the nod to depart.

Stepping out of the jumper, John was drawn into the joie de vivre of the day, returning greetings left, right and centre, as he made his way down to the beach. He looked surreptitiously around, trying to see where Adi had gone without making it obvious. After a few moments, he spotted her sitting on a towel, talking with some of the scientists. Dr Quinten wasn’t one of them, so John happily turned his attention to his own pursuits.

The first thing he needed to do was to check in with Lorne. He made his way towards the shade that had been set up over the barbecues, dropping his duffle bag up against one of the walls. He could hear Evan on the far side of the shaded area, so he crossed quickly over, his eyes taking in all the details.

“Hello, Sir,” Evan said as he spotted him. “I wasn’t sure when you’d arrive.”

“We were done with the tour, so I got Dixon to drop us off. It looks good. Is everything in hand? Any glitches?

“Not a one, Sir. Everything went smoothly. All our supplies are here and almost all our personnel have arrived – just one more lot of jumpers still to come, and that’ll be it. And Stackhouse sent through a message that all’s quiet at home. We’re good, Sir. You can go and relax now.”

“You too, right?” John asked, wanting Evan to have the chance to let his hair down as well.

“Oh yeah,” Evan said, nodding enthusiastically. “My work here is done. I’m going to go join the volleyball game.” He gestured with his chin towards the net that had been set up and the dozen or so people milling around the sandy court, rotating on and off as each point was scored.

“Cool, you do that,” John said, reaching out to slap Lorne’s shoulder. But he found himself squeezing it instead. “You’ve done a good job, Major. Make sure you enjoy the time off.”

Lorne flushed slightly. “Thanks, Sir. There’s no way I’m missing this, not after making it all happen. I’ll definitely be having fun.”

“Good,” John said, dropping his hand and turning away, feeling a little embarrassed in case anyone had seen him touching his XO.

His eyes ran over the crowds, and he spotted Elizabeth talking with some of the Athosian women. Further along, Adi was moving down the beach towards the sandcastle builders. John noted that they were mostly scientists, and Dr Parrish and Katie Brown were walking with her – so, knowing that she was safe, he turned his attention to finding Ronon. He’d promised to teach Ronon how to surf and he fully intended to keep that promise.

***** *****

Ronon was down by the water’s edge, the last free surfboard standing upright, point in the sand, beside him. He’d been very keen to learn how to surf, and John had promised to teach him today.

“Hey, buddy,” John said, coming up beside him. “Let me give you a demonstration, and then we’ll get you on the board and teach you how this is done.”

Ronon looked him up and down, then snorted. “If you go out there, you gonna come back for me?”

John looked affronted. “Of course!”

Ronon raised an eyebrow, and John broke out laughing. “Yes, I promise. I’ll catch a couple of waves, then I’ll come and get you.”

Ronon nodded and stepped away from the board, and John lifted it into his arms and ran down the last stretch of beach into the water, his heart feeling light with the lack of responsibility.

He was true to his word, catching only two excellent waves before returning to gather Ronon and start to teach him. Forty-five minutes or so slid past and then jumpers started to appear, bringing the last of their people, and John stopped for a moment, passed the board to Ronon and headed up the beach to check in with Lorne.

Evan was standing near where the jumpers had landed, ticking people off his list as they disembarked. With the last of the passengers moving cheerfully towards the beach, Evan turned and saw the Colonel coming towards him. His mouth suddenly went dry as he took in the view of John, his chest bare, his skin wet, and the sunshine glinting off him. Fuck, but he was a beautiful man.

Tearing his gaze away, Evan realised he wasn’t the only person with their eyes on the Atlantis CO. Many of the scientists were gazing in open appreciation, and even a few marines were sneaking surreptitious glances. Pulling himself together, Evan walked across the beach to meet his boss. “Nice waves, Sir?” he asked, glad his voice came out normally. 

“Beautiful,” John said, grinning widely. “You should try it, Lorne. It’s gorgeous out there. I’ve been teaching Ronon.” He swung around suddenly, lifting one hand to shade his eyes before pointing with the other. “There he goes.”

Ronon was riding a wave like a pro which didn’t surprise Evan in the slightest. Ronon was built for athletic pursuits.

“Looks like you’re a good teacher, Sir.”

John smirked. “One of the best, Major.” He laughed at his own comment, and then sobered up. “So, everyone arrive okay? Anything that needs doing?”

“It’s all in hand, Sir. Everyone’s here now. The afternoon is just for having fun, then there’ll be the bonfire this evening and the fireworks, once McKay arrives. We’ve got a roster of marines cooking up the barbeque – including the crabs we caught this morning when we first arrived - and you and I have no assigned duties.” Evan grinned, his dimples showing, and John swallowed, averting his gaze.

“Excellent. I guess I’ll go back to surfing then.”

Evan nodded. “You do that, Sir. Enjoy!”

Ronon had managed to secure one of the general-use surfboards, so John actually got to spend a couple of hours just enjoying the ocean without needing to share or teach, and he let himself go, communing with the gods of the sea and letting his mind drift. This was his mecca, his place of peace. Where Adi found serenity in the trees and forests of the world, John found it in the shifting waters of the ocean.

Eventually he grew hungry and waded his way to shore, passing his board off to one of his marines and heading along the beach towards the mess tent that had been set up. His eyes roamed the crowds, instantly spotting Evan’s naked torso, muscles rippling as he sent the volleyball flying over the net to drop among the panicking scientists. Wondering if Evan had been playing volleyball the entire time he’d been surfing, John turned his attention to seeking Adi.

She was sitting on a towel near the mess tent, eating one of the green crabs John had first seen so many months before, as she talked animatedly with Corporals Smithers and Hendrix. They were eating too, both sitting close up against her, and John was struck by how comfortable Adi looked in their company. As he drew nearer, he realised that Hendrix actually had his hand resting on Adi’s knee, and he faltered, then averted his gaze and kept walking, reminding himself that it wasn’t any of his business. She could be friendly with whomever she chose. And anyway, she’d spent a lot of hours this morning touching Natol’s incompatible aura, so of course she would’ve sought out some blue-green friends to help her recover her equilibrium. The tight knot of jealousy in his chest suddenly loosened and dissipated and he drew a deep breath, hating himself for feeling so possessive.

Still feeling slightly shaken, even after the stiff talking-to he’d just given himself, John joined the back of the food queue. He grabbed two hotdogs to fill the emptiness within and emerged again thinking he’d go find Teyla.

She was with a group of her people at the far end of the beach, just below the cliffs, playing a ball sport with the youngest of the children. She spotted him approaching and withdrew from the game, coming across the sand to greet him, a happy smile lighting her face. “John! I saw you and Ronon surfing. You both seemed very content.”

John smirked. “Oh yeah, great waves.” He tilted his head towards the kids. “You having fun?”

“Indeed. It is always a pleasure to spend time with my people,” she said.

The ball came running across the sand towards them and John bent down and threw it gently to Natol who caught it with a grin and ran back to the game.

“Natol seems to be going okay.”

“Yes! He has grown in these weeks with Indira and Balith, both in size and in confidence. It is a great joy to see him so well settled. Is everything alright with you, John?” Teyla asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, just thought I’d check in with you, make sure you’re having fun.”

“You are welcome to join the game if you wish. Or if you prefer, the older children are playing in the water.” She turned to look. “I am surprised they haven’t noticed you and come to greet you.”

John glanced down towards the ocean, seeing several heads bobbing in the waves. “I’ll wander that way, then,” he said, and Teyla nodded her goodbye, turning back to the little ones and their ball game.

***** *****

Adi was having a very nice day, surrounded by happy people enjoying themselves. As soon as she’d arrived at the beach, she’d been swept up by her botany friends and had engaged with many people, all of them very friendly and welcoming as she’d moved around the various activities that were on offer. It had been a great joy to her to once again taste the flesh of the ‘crab’ as Rodney had called it, and to share the pleasure of this rare treat with her new friends.

Memories of her lost people could not help but intrude, but although she’d taken a moment to embrace these precious remembrances, Adi had then gently set them aside in favour of deepening her bonds with her new community.

It was early afternoon now, and she’d been helping with the sandcastle for some time, when Evan found her.

“Hiya Adi, how’s it coming?”

Adi stood, smiling in welcome as she dusted the sand from her hands. “We are recreating Atlantis, Evan. I believe it is more than half finished.”

“It looks great,” Evan responded, taking in the sheer size of the creation. “I wondered if you’d like to have a swim? I haven’t seen you out there yet.”

“Oh!” Adi gazed at him in wonder. “I paddled in the shallows a little when I first arrived this morning, but I do not know how to swim in the deeper water. Is this something that you could teach me, Evan? I should very much like to learn.”

Evan swallowed, trying not to lose himself in Adi’s hopeful eyes. “Yeah, sure,” he offered. “No probs. Do you… Oh.” He suddenly remembered the last time Adi had been in the ocean on Capeliga, and how she’d just dropped all her clothes and laid down nude in the shallows. “Um, you’ll need bathers,” he stuttered out.

“Yes,” Adi said, nodding in agreement. “Rodney told me that. He said it would not be appropriate for me to go into the ocean naked with so many of the expedition about me. He asked amongst his scientists and someone kindly lent me a bathing suit. It is called a… a bikini.” Adi was disrobing as she spoke, carefully folding her dress and laying it on the sand, and suddenly she straightened up and Evan nearly bit his tongue.

The bikini wasn’t particularly risqué, it covered Adi well enough, but it did nothing to hide her assets. Even though he’d seen her naked plenty of times, seeing her now in an Earth bikini, her shapely breasts nestled in the rich blue, laced-edged fabric as the bikini bottoms rested comfortably several inches below her belly button, he was struggling to catch his breath.

“Evan? Is this acceptable?” Adi asked, worried by the look on Evan’s face. “Or should I—”

“No, no,” he got out. “It’s great. It’s perfect, really. You look… you look very nice, Adi.” He huffed out a breath, willing his body to behave as Adi’s face lit in an enormous smile, pleased that Evan liked her attempt to fit in with his culture.

“Shall we try swimming then?”

“Yeah,” Evan said, turning towards the water. “It’s a little more sheltered further along. That’ll be the best place. Did you never swim in the river by the village?”

Adi shook her head, matching her steps to his as they walked along the shoreline. “No, it was too shallow for swimming. I believe there are deeper places if you follow it far enough, but I never did so. I was happy to lie in the rapids near the village, and the bathing hole was little more than knee deep.”

“Bathing hole?” Evan asked, wondering why this had never been mentioned before.

“Yes, there is a part of the river past the pethri fields where soaproot grows along the edges, and that is where we would wash ourselves. Oh, did I not show you? I know you mentioned the lack of showers, but I just assumed you were unaccustomed to washing in a river.”

“No… well, you didn’t tell me, and if you told the Colonel, the message didn’t get passed along. Maybe you can show us, next time we’re there. It’d be nice to have somewhere that we can wash off the dirt and sweat from the day. We’re not used to being farmers.”

Adi laughed, a soft tinkly sound that had Evan digging his fingernails into his palms. She was walking ever so slightly in front of him due to the contour of the beach, and the bikini was leaving very little to the imagination, the hemline at the back outlining the alluring contours of her derrière. Evan swallowed heavily and focussed his mind on not embarrassing himself.

Adi was talking of the bathing hole, describing the soaproot and how it grew prolifically along a stretch maybe as far as from the volleyball net to the jumpers, and Evan turned his head to see, calculating that to be around eighty metres or more. Clearly Adi’s community had managed to keep almost two hundred people clean, so there should be ample opportunity for their own small contingent of marines to keep themselves decent.

They’d reached a quieter stretch of beach now, the waves coming in low and gentle, and Evan turned towards the water. “We’ll go in here, Adi,” he said. “Um, once you’re out of your depth, I’ll need to… to touch you, to help you learn how to stay afloat. Is that okay?”

Adi nodded happily. “Of course, Evan. I trust you implicitly.” And then she was wading out into the water, laughing as the waves lapped against her knees, thighs, waist… Evan rolled his eyes at his own preoccupation and followed her in, steeling himself against reacting to the close, personal touching they were about to be doing.

***** *****

It was a couple of hours later when John worked his way back along the beach towards where the surfing had been taking place. No-one was out on the waves now, and John assumed that the tide had turned, taking with it the best of the breakers. He’d had a good time playing with Jinto and Wex and their friends, and had then stopped for a conversation with the Athosian men, before spending a little while snorkelling with some of his marines, enjoying the bright colours of the coral and fish that inhabited the rock pool. He’d even stopped to admire the sandcastle of Atlantis, the spires lifting high into the sky. Elizabeth had been there with them, and he’d smirked at her before congratulating the artists, pretty impressed with their efforts.

Gazing down the beach as he passed the volleyball game, he saw Evan emerging from the waves, a woman at his side. His brow creased as he tried to work out who it was… and then he suddenly realised the woman was Adi, and she’d obviously borrowed a bikini from someone.

Fuck! She looked stunning. Her body was softly rounded with curves in all the right places and the bikini perfectly showcased the beauty of her form. As he stuttered to a halt, struggling to contain himself, he saw Adi turn to Evan and hug him, pressing all of that near-naked flesh up against Evan’s equally near-naked flesh.

The surge of jealousy hit him with a vengeance and he spun away, walking up into the forest that bounded the beach, disappearing in among the trees until he could calm his breathing and get his fists unclenched. ‘She can touch whoever she wants, she can hug whoever she chooses,’ he said over and over in his mind, reminding himself of their agreement, their bargain, reminding himself that Adi hadn’t wanted to feel restricted in her right to share her affections. But God, it was hard to watch her hugging Evan like that.

Eventually he came to a stop, listening to the silence around him. He’d walked a fair way into the forest here, and he didn’t really want to go further in case he got lost. Despite all the good-natured teasing he was subjected to, John was well aware that his ground navigation skills sucked. He was great in the air, but on the ground he often got turned around. And right now he needed to turn around, he needed to go back and be with his people, not hiding in the forest because he didn’t like seeing his woman hugging his (not) guy.

Sighing to himself, he swivelled on his heel and headed back towards the beach, knowing that this was his own fault. If he were less scared of exposing his connection to Adi, there was a fair chance that he would’ve been the one swimming with her in that bikini – and hugging her in full view of all of the Expedition.

That thought brought a wave of panic, and John’s heart missed a beat as he considered the likely teasing and knowing looks if his people saw him so blatantly sharing his affection with Adi like that. Nope. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. And with that, his fear of losing her was back. Because Evan was so clearly willing to be seen with her, he obviously didn’t care what people thought, and that had to be attractive to Adi in a partner.

Shaking his head at his own emotional ineptitude, John crept up to the edge of the forest and peered out. Adi and Evan were no longer hugging each other in full view. He looked around, back and forth. Ah, there was Evan, coming out of the refreshments tent, but was Adi with him? No. She didn’t seem to be.

John paused for a moment to pull himself together, and then sauntered out of the trees onto the sand as if he’d just taken a short break in the cool air of the forest. He was accosted almost immediately by a group of his marines wanting to know if there were really going to be fireworks. Happy to chat about such an innocuous, non-emotional topic, John answered all their questions, explaining that Rodney had asked the chemists to put something together, and the show would be after dinner.

Leaving the marines, John wandered further along the beach, actively hunting Adi now, wanting to know where she was, to know she was safe since she wasn’t with Evan any longer. And then he saw her. She was playing volleyball with Hendrix and Smithers, and Hendrix was showing her how to serve, actually standing behind her with his arms around her as he helped her make the manoeuvre.

Bloody hell! Was there nowhere he could go without having to watch some other man with his hands all over her? John turned on his heel and walked back towards the jumpers, deciding he might just sit inside where he didn’t have to watch.

But as he arrived at the side of Jumper One, Evan emerged, laptop in hand.

“Sir!” Evan said, startled at finding his CO so suddenly in his space. He took one look at John’s face and his own expression morphed to concern. “Is everything okay, Sir? Is Adi okay?” Because John was looking angry and hurt and Evan was unsure why.

“She’s fine,” John ground out. “She’s got a dozen people looking after her – including you.”

Evan gazed at him, pursing his lips slightly. Memories of John’s outburst in Adi’s quarters came back to him, but he thrust them away as he remembered John apologising to him on the cliff path on Capeliga. “Sir, if you were willing to be seen with her, she would’ve more than happily spent the entire day in your company. You know that. You could’ve built sandcastles with her, and taken her swimming, and taught her to play volleyball…” because Evan had seen her on the court with Smithers and Hendrix, too, as he’d headed for the jumpers.

John glared at him for a moment, but then his shoulders drooped. “I know,” he said, and his voice was low and sad, and Evan felt a wave of sorrow pass through him that his CO found it so hard to let his feelings show where people could see them. He reached out his spare hand and clasped John’s shoulder. “They’re just friends, Sir. All of them. Including me.”

John raised his eyes to meet Evan’s for a moment before dropping them again. He nodded uncomfortably. “Yeah.” He sighed. “I… it’s just…” He huffed out a dispirited breath. “I don’t… It’s hard.”

“I’m sure it is, Sir. But…” Evan paused for a moment, considering whether he should say this, but taking in John’s defeat mien he decided to risk it. “Look, if you just let her… be with you, in a public place, you wouldn’t have to worry about this shit because—”

“I’m not worried,” John quickly denied. “She… she promised she won’t… you know, with… um, with… anyone else, not unless she tells me… first.” He caught Evan’s stunned expression and flushed. “It was… um, part of that conversation we had after I… um, shouted…”

“Yeah,” Evan said, a little hoarsely, unable to believe that John had just said he was actually willing to share Adi with another guy. He swallowed heavily. “I got that. Shit!” He huffed out a breath, shaking his head a little to clear it. “Anyway, my point was, she goes to other people because you’re not available to her in public. It doesn’t need to be overt. You don’t need to even hug her, Sir, just… let her spend time with you. And…” Evan paused, unsure about saying this, either, but then he straightened his shoulders. “When you’re injured, Sir, and you’re in the infirmary, you should tell her she can sit beside your bed rather than having to sit on the chairs on the side of the room and then leave the moment you recover consciousness because she knows you don’t want her there.”

John nodded sadly. He knew Evan was right. His own reticence to let any glimpse of his relationship show was the cause of most of his jealousy issues. But still…  

Evan was watching, seeing the thoughts flicker over John’s face. “You could go ask her for a swim, Sir. I’ve taught her how to do breaststroke.”

John lifted his eyes to Evan’s. “I don’t think that’d be very wise, not while she’s wearing that bikini,” he said, and then suddenly smirked as Evan blushed as red as a tomato. “Yeah, she’s just a friend,” John jeered, but his tone was light-hearted and joking, so Evan smiled ruefully back at him.

“I’m doing my best, Sir, but I admit that bikini was a hard hurdle to jump.”

John laughed. “Where did she get it?”

“McKay. Apparently the Doc told her straight out that she couldn’t get naked at this party, so he asked one of his scientists to lend it to her.”

John’s eyes boggled. “One of the scientists usually wears that?” His tone was incredulous, and Evan laughed.

“Yeah, I know. Adi didn’t say which one, and I think I’d rather not know.” He glanced down at the laptop that was resting against his forearm. “Are you okay now, Sir? I need to get some things sorted out for tonight.”

John nodded, averting his gaze. “Yeah, of course.”

Evan gave him an intent look, then nodded, happy that his CO seemed calmer now. “McKay should be here in about half an hour with the fireworks. I’m going to commandeer some of the marines to build the bonfire now.”

“I’ll help,” John said, thinking that having something specific to do might help take his mind off Adi and her fan club.

Evan gave his CO once last look, then nodded and led the way.

Chapter Text

As dusk fell, Adi trailed up the beach towards the bonfire, feeling nicely weary. It’d been a very fun day, and she’d spent a lot of time blending her aura with her friends as she’d moved from activity to activity. It reminded her a little of moving amongst her own community, hugging and holding hands and being beloved of her people as she went about her day.

She spotted John carrying some trays of food down to the table near the bonfire and sighed lightly to herself. It would’ve been nice to have spent at least some of her day with John, but he hadn’t even come close enough for her to say hello, and she hadn’t wanted to approach him herself, being aware of his preference to keep their relationship quiet.

Feeling a little bereft despite all the camaraderie she’d experienced today, Adi tried to raise her spirits by reminding herself that John was very willing to spend time with her when they were in Atlantis.

A brisk wind had started up, and as it blew off the water towards her, Adi shivered slightly. She’d put her sundress back on over her bikini – once the light fabric had dried – and she had her shoes on, but after having the sun warming her skin all day, the breeze was a little chilly.

She was looking around the area near the bonfire, trying to decide with whom to sit, when Corporal Hendrix appeared alongside her. “You look a bit cold there, Adi,” he said. “Would you like my jacket?” He was holding it out to her and Adi reached for it automatically.

“Will you not need it yourself, Corporal?” she asked, not wanting to deprive him.

“No, it’s fine, Adi. I’m pretty good with the cold.” He smiled at her, and she responded in kind, grateful for his friendship and care.

“Would you like to sit with me and my friends, Adi?” he asked, but just at that moment, Adi caught sight of Ronon waving his hand at her and she smiled, turning to Hendrix and replying, “Oh, I would have enjoyed that, Corporal, but Ronon has invited me to join him. I have not spent any time with him today as he has been very active in the ocean. I hope you do not mind.” She reached out and squeezed his forearm then hurried around the fire to where Ronon was sitting with Rodney and Susie, Teyla, Carson, and Elizabeth.

She was greeted warmly and made to feel welcome, sitting down with Ronon at her back, his long arms reaching around her making her feel warm and safe. Everyone was chatting, sharing their activities of the day, and Adi joined in, happy to be a part of the light-hearted evening.

It wasn’t long before Evan called for silence, his voice ringing out across the beach. “All right everyone, grub’s up. Form an orderly queue while we light the bonfire.”

There was a wave of movement as people started heading for the tables of food, but when Ronon made to rise, Adi’s hand on his arm stilled him, and so they stayed as they were and watched as John and Evan between them poured something onto the wood and then lit it afire. The flames built quickly until there was a stream of rich red and orange embers flying high into the sky. Adi turned in Ronon’s embrace and smiled up at him. “I love watching the first moments of a fire being lit. It is wonderous to me to see the fire take hold and the wood start to burn.”

Ronon nodded, agreeing with the sentiment. “Okay. But now it’s done, can we get food?”

Adi laughed and got to her feet. “Of course, Ronon. I am sorry to have kept you from the food line.”

Ronon shrugged and they walked together, standing at the end of the queue as John and Evan came up behind them. Adi was selecting a baked potato from the steaming pile when she felt a frisson of discomfort cross her aura, and an instant later, she felt pressure against her leg. Looking down, she saw that Natol had come to find her, and she set her plate down on the edge of the table and crouched down beside him. “Hello, Natol. Have you selected something for your meal?”

Natol nodded, his big eyes holding hers. He rubbed his belly, signifying that he’d already eaten, and then reached out to take Adi’s hand in his.

“Do you wish to sit with me, Natol, while we watch the bonfire burning?” Adi asked, not sure that she would be able to handle the constant dissonance of touching him. When Natol nodded, Adi sighed lightly.

Then she felt John crouch down beside her. “Lorne and I can sit on either side of you, Adi, and Ronon can sit behind you.” His voice was low, for her ears only, but Adi felt a surge of gratitude run through her at his offer. “Oh, please, yes, Colonel, that would be wonderful. Thank you.”

John nodded and stood, waiting for Adi to gather her plate and finish her meal selections while he did the same. He’d noticed that she was wearing a jacket that definitely wasn’t her own – it belonged to one of his Corporals and he had a pretty good idea which one of his Corporals would’ve offered up a jacket – and he’d felt, not jealousy this time, but fear. Fear that Adi would take one of these other men, these other people who were happy to expose their feelings. And so, when he’d seen her discomfort with Natol’s request, it’d been an act of desperation to offer his support. He wanted to be the one who helped her with this stuff, and he felt bad for being such an emotional coward that he’d left her to cope alone all day. But here in the dark, with just the bonfire to light their fronts, he could sit beside Adi, with Evan on the other side and Ronon behind her, and if anyone later queried it, he could say it was because Natol was there.

Hating himself for lacking the courage to just show people how much she meant to him, John followed behind her to the rug his team had commandeered, and waited until Adi had sat back down with Ronon, settling Natol on one of her knees so she could still reach her meal. John sat closely against her side, and watched as Evan took her other side.

“This’d work better if you took that jacket off,” John said softly, and Adi nodded, thinking the same thing. Natol’s aura was clashing badly with her own, and the more skin her blue-green supporters could touch the better. She wriggled out of the Corporal’s jacket and turned to Teyla who had been amongst the first to eat. “Would you mind taking that back to Corporal Hendrix for me, Teyla?” she asked politely. “I am not able to use it at present, and I do not wish for him to be cold for no reason.”

Teyla took the jacket in question with an understanding smile and disappeared into the darkness, and Adi settled in to eat her meal, surrounded by her three favourite men. It made her smile to know that she’d been welcomed so completely into the Atlantis community that these men would put themselves out for her wellbeing – and that included Matthew, who had spent part of his day touching her skin, and Corporal Hendrix who had done the same, as well as offering her the warmth of his own jacket. She relaxed back against Ronon, drawing Natol to sit in the well of her crossed legs, John’s body pressing against hers on one side and Evan’s on the other.

She could hear Elizabeth and Carson speaking quietly, and Teyla had returned and was chatting with Ronon and Evan, while Rodney and Susie had their heads close together, talking softly. Adi tilted her head to the side for the briefest of moments, letting her hair touch John’s shoulder. Then she straightened again, knowing that anyone might have seen, and John would not be comfortable with the gesture. Natol was going floppy in her lap, and Adi felt that he must be falling asleep after such an adventurous day. She sat and gazed into the fire, doing her best to ignore the frisson of discomfort from Natol’s mismatched aura, and let the feelings of relaxation and contentment come to the fore.

***** *****

The fireworks were a definite hit. Adi had never seen such a thing, and neither had Ronon or Teyla, and there was much ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ in their portion of the beach. Natol had been returned to his parents before the fireworks had begun, Adi feeling that he should be with his primary caregivers for such an event – and wanting to enjoy the fireworks without the constant discomfort of his aura trying and failing to mesh with hers, over and over again.

Having handed him to Indira, she returned to John, Ronon, and Evan, and slotted back into her spot, but this time it was pure pleasure as she felt their auras meshing easily with her own. She sighed in heady delight, the delicious feelings of being surrounded by compatible auras making her spirits rise immeasurably.

“You look happy,” Evan said softly, and Adi turned to him.

“I have three compatible auras mingling with my own, Evan, and I am sitting amongst a great many friends. I am fortunate to have so many reasons for happiness.” She beamed at him, and he smiled back at her.

John shifted slightly on her other side and Adi turned to look at him. He was gazing into the fire, but she could feel the slight tension in the arm that was pressing against her own. Looking down, she saw that his hand was in darkness, sheltered from the light of the bonfire by his leg. No-one would see. Slowly reaching out, she found his hand and wove their fingers together, feeling John’s slight jolt of surprise. Then he squeezed her hand, and she responded in kind, settling further into Ronon’s embrace and feeling a strong sense of contentment.

Rodney’s voice was heard then, calling for quiet and announcing that the fireworks were about to begin, and then the first rocket was ignited, and Adi gazed up at the heavens, delighted with the colour bursts lighting the skies above her.

When it was all over, the crowd started to break up. Most of the revellers were staying the night but a few needed to return to Atlantis, and Adi was one of those.  She had known from the beginning that she would be unable to remain here overnight, on the beach, surrounded by so many people. She would be unable to fall asleep, and if she did inadvertently do so, she would be putting others at risk.

John and Evan had disappeared into the darkness to attend to whatever tasks needed their attention, and Ronon was standing now, preparing to fold the blanket. Adi stood too, moving out of his way.

She was talking with Carson and Dr Weir, thanking Elizabeth for allowing the party, when Matthew and Corporal Hendrix appeared at her side.

“Hey, Adi,” Matthew said, and Corporal Hendrix echoed his greeting.

“Hello,” Adi said. “Did you get your jacket back, Corporal?”

Hendrix nodded. “We heard that you’re planning to go back to Atlantis, Adi. We thought maybe you’d rather stay here. It’s really nice weather for sleeping outside, and the stars will look fantastic once the bonfire dies down. Do you absolutely have to go back? We’re having breakfast here in the morning, and more swimming and volleyball. I can sleep beside you if you’re worried about all the people.”

“I can too, Adi,” Matthew said, “if you’d feel more comfortable with a couple of us about you, creating a ring of defence.”

Adi gazed at them in consternation. She did want to stay – it seemed such a shame to walk away from the camaraderie and friendly feelings the day had engendered – but she would not be able to sleep with even Matthew lying at her side, no matter how much she trusted him. She was just starting to shake her head when Evan hove into view.

“Nice offer, guys,” he said jovially, “but I’m the one with the experience at keeping Adi safe in random off-world spaces. I’ll take care of this.”

Corporal Hendrix looked crestfallen, but Matthew didn’t seem to mind having his suggestion usurped.

“Thank you both,” Adi said warmly. “I very much appreciate that you thought of me and that you made the offer.”

They nodded to her and disappeared, and Adi turned to Evan, relief showing clearly on her face. “Thank you, Evan. I did not wish to hurt their feelings, but I could not possibly have fallen asleep with them.”

“I know,” Evan said comfortingly. “Come on.” He tilted his head to the side, indicating their direction, and Adi reached out and took his hand, following him without hesitation, knowing that she would be safe in Evan’s arms.

***** *****

Evan led her towards the jumpers, and Adi went willingly. She would’ve preferred to sleep with John, but since that wasn’t likely to be offered, she was very content to sleep in Evan’s embrace. He had kept her safe once before on Capeliga – despite the challenges of their awakening – and she knew that she would be able to relax completely with him by her side.

But as they reached the jumpers he let go of her hand and turned to face her. “Um, I kinda misrepresented things back there,” he said reluctantly, and Adi wondered at his tone of voice. He sounded guilty.

“What do you mean, Evan? Oh! Do you wish for me to return to Atlantis after all? I can do so easily if you have too many duties to attend to and cannot spare time for sleeping with me. The jumper has not yet left.” She could see the few people who needed to return to Atlantis boarding a jumper not far away.

Evan shook his head. “No… I could sleep with you, Adi. It wouldn’t be a problem, but… Colonel Sheppard’s just up along this path, waiting for you.” He bit his lip, not sure if Adi would be upset at the subterfuge.

Adi stared at him. “You came for me, to protect John from having to expose his feelings?”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, he… he didn’t feel like he could offer for you himself, so I did it. But he wants to sleep with you, so…”

Adi was gazing at him, her expression full of wonder. Then she stepped forward and slid her arms around him, drawing him close against her. Evan sank into the embrace, really wishing that he could just take her up this path and lie with her through the night, but since that wasn’t possible, he let himself enjoy the hug Adi was giving him.

Adi was feeling a surfeit of emotions and was struggling to work out what they all were. Initially she had felt sorrow at leaving the party to fly back to the stark environment of Atlantis after such warmth of friendship as she’d felt through the day, but when her two friendly Corporals had offered her the chance of remaining, she’d felt a surge of fear at having them near her sleeping body. And then Evan had come, and she’d felt relief mixed with joy that he had seen her problem and had come to rescue her. And now she’d learned that he’d come to get her to save the Colonel’s modesty, and that John himself was waiting for her. It was a huge tumble of emotions to deal with in such a short time, and she clung to Evan, taking comfort in his solid support of her.

Evan was also losing himself in the embrace, inhaling the scent of Adi’s skin, feeling her body resting against his own, remembering that bikini and how it had felt to hold her in the water as she learned to swim… his body started to respond to the intimacy of the hug, and he pulled his hips back, tilting them away. He felt Adi adjust her own stance, but she didn’t let go, so he dropped his head down against her neck. “Sorry,” he muttered, but Adi shook her head lightly.

“I trust you, Evan,” she whispered, and Evan felt a surge of satisfaction that Adi did, indeed, trust that he would never hurt her.

When she eventually drew back, Adi held Evan’s eyes. “You are the most selfless person that I have ever known. Ever. Truly. Thank you.” She pushed up onto the balls of her feet and kissed him on the cheek before smiling at him, squeezing his hand, and then turning and walking into the forest.

Evan watched her go, willing his erection away. It hadn’t worked at all while Adi had been in his arms, but now that she was gone – walking away from him and towards her lover – the feeling of tightness in his pants subsided pretty quickly. He followed her then, wanting to be sure that she’d made her way safely to the Colonel’s side. His footsteps were silent on the path, the half-moon providing enough light that he could see the hazards on the ground. And then his steps faltered as he heard John and Adi up ahead.

They were kissing. He could hear the sound of lips meeting and mingling, and he sighed, wanting that for himself. Wanting both of them. But he couldn’t have them, so, shoulders bowed with sorrow, he made his way back down to the jumpers and slid inside, grabbing a sleeping bag before returning to the path and setting himself up ten metres inside the tree line where someone would have to step over him to get past. He didn’t want anyone finding the Colonel and Adi together, not when John was so set on no-one knowing, ever, that he had feelings for her.

Shaking his head, Evan made himself as comfortable as possible, and drifted off to sleep.

***** *****

John had walked swiftly away from the bonfire where two of his Corporals were cheerfully offering to sleep with his woman, his emotions in turmoil. He desperately wanted to show the world that he was with Adi, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. It was too scary to reveal his emotions like that, to let people see that he felt that strongly for someone.

When he and Lorne had overheard the conversation taking place between Adi, Smithers and Hendrix, Lorne had quietly pointed out that if he just offered for Adi himself, she’d accept him. But John had shaken his head, unable to face the moment where Hendrix and Smithers would’ve realised what was between him and Adi, and so he’d accepted Lorne’s frustrated offer to retrieve her himself and had turned his back on the whole situation, unable to handle the emotions that were buffeting him.

Grabbing some sleeping gear from the back of the closest jumper, John made his way along the forest path Evan had suggested until he found an overhanging rock that would provide some protection. He spent a few minutes laying out the bedding, and then there was nothing to do but wait.

It was dark and quiet under the trees, and John was shaking with self-recrimination. He was such a coward. Why couldn’t he just let people see that there was something between him and Adi? Why was that so hard for him?  If he’d been comfortable with their relationship being seen, he could’ve spent the whole day with her. It would’ve been him out there swimming with Adi in her bikini, hugging her on the beach, giving her the benefit of his aura after she’d spent time with Natol this morning.

At least he’d had the courage to sit beside her around the bonfire while Natol had been on her knee... at least he hadn’t left her to endure that alone. But it’d been dark, and very few people had noticed where he was sitting, or with whom. Elizabeth had seen… but she hadn’t said anything. And Ronon and Teyla and Rodney all already knew… as did Evan. Obviously.

John sighed, then he heard a noise on the trail, a scuff of a foot as it passed over a rock, and he stood and took a couple of silent steps forward just as Adi came into view. A shaft of relief ran through him that Evan had succeeded, that he’d managed to rescue Adi from the marines, and had then given her up to John, just as he’d promised he would.

Adi spotted John as she came around a bend in the path and a smile lit her face as her heart started to beat faster. John was here, he wanted to sleep beside her, he wanted to wrap his arms about her and hold her safe through the night, even here, where his people might discover that he was doing so. Almost running the last few steps, she cannoned into him and slipped her arms about him, the joy of finally being able to hug him lending strength to the embrace.

“I’m sorry,” John was whispering against her hair, and Adi snuggled a little closer.

After a few moments, she drew away. “I missed you today, John. Will you kiss me?”

John nodded, immediately stepping back a little so she was no longer held against him. He lifted just the one hand up to cup her shoulder, and then Adi’s hands curled around his upper arms, and her face tilted up towards his, and he leaned his head down and brought their lips together.

It was the most passionate kiss they’d yet shared, and John felt a strong desire to shuffle closer and bring their bodies snugly up against each other. He wanted to feel her, he wanted to run his hands up and down her sides and her back, wipe away where all those other men had touched her. He wanted to be the only one who ever touched her…

The need was too great, and he did take a tiny step closer, only to have Adi break off the kiss as his body brushed against hers. She took a half-step back, but didn’t let go of his arms. “John?” she asked breathlessly.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I want to hold you when I kiss you, Adi. I really do.”

She nodded in acknowledgement of the sentiment, but her eyes were filled with sorrow. “I cannot, John. Not yet. I am sorry.”

“I’ve watched you all day with a dozen different guys touching you, Adi, putting their hands on you, holding you, wrapping their bodies around you… I just want to do that too.” He knew he was being unfair, demanding this of her when he’d been unwilling to share himself in public, but it was perhaps the most honest sentiment that he’d ever shared.

Adi’s eyes were big and round, staring at him, and John swallowed uncomfortably. “I’m sorry. I know it’s… I know it’s my own fault. Did… did you mind that I… didn’t spend any time with you today?”

Adi nodded slowly. “It saddened me a great deal to be unable to share my joy with you, John. I had such a lovely day, trying out new things and being accepted by so many of my new community. It felt almost as if I were back with my people, knowing everyone and being greeted and wanted and embraced and cared about.” She smiled tremulously. “I know it must hurt you to see so many others touching me when you will not, and I do not wish for you to be hurt, John. And yet… you stand always in the shadows, and you do not wish for me to approach you in public. I cannot stand aloof from my community, John, that is not who I am.”

John drew her back in against his chest, wrapping his arms around her, not wanting to see her sorrowful expression.

Adi returned the embrace, gratitude for this moment filling her soul. She had truly enjoyed her day and it had been lovely to feel so wanted by her new people, and yet the hurt of seeing John only in the distance, of knowing that if she approached him, he would flinch and tense and try to escape… It had left a hole in her heart that this hug was slowly repairing.

“Lie with me?” John whispered against her hair, and Adi nodded, drawing back from the hug.

“I will be very happy to do so, John,” she said softly, and together they turned to the nest of bedding that John had set out. Adi lifted off her sundress and the bikini came into view, and John’s throat tightened.

“God that bikini looks stunning on you, Adi. It’s just… wow!”

Adi grinned cheekily. “Dr Spirelli let me borrow it so that I would not be naked in the ocean amongst your people. She said that she was always very well received when she wore it. But I did not think you had seen me in it, John. I had my dress on except when I was learning to swim with Evan.”

John had shed his clothes, leaving just his boxers, and he drew Adi down with him into the blankets as he responded. “I watched you hugging him, both of you wet from the ocean and both of you nearly naked.”

Adi snuggled closer. “I am not sure whether to be sorry that you were hurt by seeing me hug him when you would have wanted to do so yourself, or be happy that you had the opportunity to see Evan half naked.”

John gulped, choking on his own saliva. “Jesus, Adi!” he expostulated when he’d recovered himself. “You can’t say shit like that!”

Adi’s brow furrowed. “Was I not correct?”

“Well… yeah,” John responded sheepishly. “But…”

Adi snuggled in closer. “I do not feel any anguish over your feelings for him, John. I wish that you were able to be as close to him as you would like to be.” 

“I know. And it makes me feel like shit when I get jealous over all those guys touching you, because I know you’d be perfectly happy if I finally got to touch Evan that way.”

Adi ran her fingers in light circles over John’s chest. “I would be ecstatically happy to know that you were able to sink into Evan’s embrace, John. Nothing could bring me greater pleasure than to see you two together.”

John sighed. It was really humbling to have the evidence that Adi was a much better person than he was shoved in his face. “I’m sorry I’m still so jealous, Adi. And I’m sorry that I… that I didn’t spend any time with you today.”

“You are here now, John, and I did not expect this, so it is all the sweeter to be lying here with you.” She snuggled in closer, wishing she could assuage John’s guilt. Jealousy was unknown amongst her people, and it hurt her to see John struggling so much because of her own actions. And yet… how could she not be the person that she was? It was such a tangle.

“John?” she said softly into the darkness.

“Mmm?” John was feeling calmer now with Adi lying in his arms, quite obviously his for the night. All those other men might have had her through the day but it was him that she trusted while she was sleeping.

“There is a rockpool, a little way from the edge of the water, and people told me of the wonders they had seen in it. Do you think perhaps you could bring me here another time, when it is just you and I, and we could swim in there so that I may see these same wonders myself? Would you be able to help me if my swimming is not quite good enough?”

“Yeah, sure,” John said. “Why didn’t Evan take you today, once he’d taught you to swim?”

“There were a great many people in there, and I was concerned that if someone whose aura was not compatible with my own were to bump against me, I would lose my concentration and sink! It did not feel reasonable to expect Evan to rescue me as well as to teach me.” Her tone was wry and John laughed softly.

“I doubt he would’ve minded.”

“No, he would not,” Adi said softly. “But I minded. I had already spent much time with Natol, and I did not wish to have to endure any more mismatched auras touching my own.”

John nodded, exploring the idea of bringing Adi here when it was just the two of them. But then… “Adi… would, would you like to do it… tomorrow morning? I can, um… I can make the rockpool just for blue-greens for an hour or so, then you wouldn’t run any risk of the wrong aura touching you, and I… I could, um… I could… come in… with you.” He held his breath, hoping that Adi would understand what he was saying.

Adi pushed herself up, her face full of wonder and hope. “Really, John? You would do that? Tomorrow? In front of people?”

John swallowed uncomfortably, but nodded. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Lorne keeps telling me I need to stop hiding, and you’ve said it made you sad, today, that I didn’t spend any time with you. I… I’m scared, Adi… I’m scared that… that you’ll… give up on me and take someone who can be more open…”

Adi shook her head vehemently. “John, no. I will not. I will never set you aside for such a reason. I do not ask for more than you can give me. I was simply telling you how it felt for me.”

“Well… then, tomorrow, will it feel better for you if I… if I come in the rockpool with you?”

“Yes,” Adi said, her smile as wide as her face. “Yes, it will.” And then she leaned her arm against John’s chest and lowered her head until their lips were touching, and John let himself believe that Adi was telling the truth, and that it was all going to be okay.

Chapter Text

John woke first, the sounds of bird song filtering through his dreams. He slowly blinked his eyes open, feeling the gentle touch of fresh air against his face. Lower down, the soft warmth of Adi, asleep against his side, had him smiling in happy contentment.

He drew a deep, satisfied breath… and then suddenly remembered that he’d promised to spend time in the rock pool with Adi this morning. His breathing faltered as his stomach clenched, but he shoved the fear aside. It was time for him to step up and be brave about this. He’d hurt Adi yesterday by keeping his distance, and the last thing he’d ever wanted to do was hurt her. Lorne seemed to think it wouldn’t be a problem for John to show his connection to Adi, and, after all, lots of the other members of the expedition managed it without any repercussions. No-one batted an eyelid when she hugged Ronon or Evan or Smithers or Hendrix. They were all free to touch her and hug her, swim with her and teach her volleyball; sit with her as she ate, hold her in their arms, and offer up their jackets. And no-one cared.

Determined to overcome his fears, John forced his feelings of insecurity down and concentrated instead on the warmth of Adi’s exhalations wafting across his collarbone. It was such a gentle feeling of togetherness and it made his heart swell with happiness.

A sudden shout from the direction of the beach caused Adi to jerk awake, and she sat up, bleary-eyed, looking around her for the danger.

“It’s okay,” John said softly, his hand rising to cup her naked shoulder. “It’s just the marines calling out that breakfast’s ready.”

Adi smiled down at him. “It is a great joy to wake with you in nature, John. We have not done this before.”

“Perhaps we should camp out occasionally, then,” he responded, mesmerised by the simple pleasure in her eyes.

“I would like that a great deal.” She yawned and stretched. “But for now, I believe you must rejoin your troops. It will not do for them to wonder where you are.”

John swallowed. “It… it’s okay, Adi. I think… I think I’m ready to… to show them. To let… this—” he gestured between them, “be seen.” The skin around his eyes tightened though, and his brow furrowed, and Adi gazed silently at him for a long moment before reaching out and cupping his cheek.

“Are you certain, John? Please do not expose yourself on my account. I have told you I will not push you away simply because you prefer to keep your feelings hidden.” Her eyes were earnest as she gazed at him, and John felt his conviction strengthen. But then a wash of uncertainty ran through him again as he imagined emerging onto the beach, Adi’s hand clasped in his own. He huffed out a breath. “I… I’d like to try, Adi. Give it a go, at least.”

A glorious smile lit Adi’s face, and she slowly leaned down and brushed a gentle, closed-mouth kiss across his lips. “Then let us try.” She rose from the blankets and reached for her sundress, slipping it on as John started to pull on his own clothes.

Within a few minutes they were both dressed and the bedding had been folded into a pile, ready to return to the jumper. They walked quietly along the path, fingers tangled together, but as the sands of the beach came into view, John’s gait stuttered a little and his hand twitched.

Adi came to a halt. “John?” She gazed at him with compassion. “Would you prefer to emerge alone? I can wait here for a few minutes before I leave the forest.”

“I’m sorry,” John whispered. He dropped the bedding and pulled her urgently into his arms, dipping his head down against her neck. “I’m so sorry I’m such a… a coward, Adi. You deserve so much more than I can give you.”

Adi leaned into his body and ran her hands soothingly across his back. “You are trying to overcome a lifetime of repressing your emotions, John. This is not something that will be simple for you to do. I am grateful that you are willing to even try. Please, do not punish yourself because you find this difficult.” She drew back a little, gazing lovingly into his eyes. “This will take time, John, and there is no shame in that. You go on ahead and I shall follow in a little while.” She paused, and then added, “If you wish, you may join me while I am eating my breakfast. Perhaps sit nearby. But if you do not feel able to, I will quite understand. I will not feel… rejected, John.” She rested her hand on his shoulder and pushed up onto the balls of her feet, placing a gentle kiss against his cheek. “You should go now, for I am growing hungry.” She smiled cheekily, trying to lighten the mood, and John managed a half-smile in return, but his worries were still hounding him.

“I love you,” he whispered, his eyes tortured.

“I do not doubt that, John,” Adi responded tenderly. “You know that I cherish your love.” She paused for a moment as she considered his predicament, trying to find a way to help him with this swirl of difficult emotions. “John, you do not push me to accept a greater degree of physical intimacy than I am comfortable with, so please understand that, in the same way, I will not push you to expose your feelings to others, not when it causes you such distress to think of doing so.”

The tension dropped from John’s body at that comment. Adi had a good point. He was letting her set the pace for something that she found terrifying, so perhaps he should cut himself some slack over this, because he really did find the thought of exposing his emotions this way incredibly overwhelming.

Adi was smiling gently at him, her eyes full of love, and he drew her back into his embrace, standing more firmly this time, the desperation he’d felt early washed away by her understanding. “Okay,” he said. “Okay. I think this is just going to take me some time.”

Adi nodded, happy that she’d helped him to feel her acceptance.

He slipped away then, gathering the bedding and striding confidently out onto the beach, and Adi stood in the shadows of the trees and watched as he called out greetings to some of the marines who were milling around the jumpers.

When they’d all moved away, she stepped out of the shade and made her way to the cooking hut, selecting an array of options for breakfast, astounded that the Lanteans were able to provide such an extensive feast in such a remote location. 

John was nowhere in sight when she emerged with her meal, but she spotted Evan among the crowd, sitting on a towel, his team around him, and Adi caught his eye, smiling at him beatifically. He returned the smile, gesturing her towards his group, and so she joined him, settling by his side and responding to the queries about how well she’d slept. After a while, she slipped one of her hands into Evan’s and leaned against him, enjoying the blending of their auras, comforted, as always, by his soothing presence.

She’d finished eating and was just basking in the pleasure of good company, when a loud whistle sounded. Straightening up, Adi saw John standing at the edge of the breakfast crowd, hands on his hips as he gazed around.

His eyes caught Adi’s and he swallowed, then looked away. It’d been so hard to think of walking out onto the beach this morning with Adi at his side, but it was harder still to watch her leaning on Evan as she ate her breakfast.

Silence had fallen across the group, and John took a deep, somewhat shaky, breath. “Adi has asked to try out the rock pool,” he called loudly. “Because of the risk of clashing auras while she’s in there, I’m going to designate the next hour for blue-greens only. After that, once Adi’s done, it’ll be free for all again.”

There were cheers from several of Adi’s blue-green friends and, looking around, she couldn’t see anyone who seemed upset over the announcement. She slipped her hand from Evan’s and stood up. “Thank you all for understanding,” she called out. “I am very much looking forward to seeing these wonders for myself.”

Corporal Hendrix appeared from nowhere at Adi’s side, and John could see Evan standing as well, dusting the sand off his board shorts. Realising it was now or never, he gathered his courage and walked towards Adi, determined to do this.

Adi’s eyes caught his as he drew close, and she smiled. “Thank you, Colonel,” she said warmly.

John felt his heart clench at the distant formality those words suggested. He didn’t want that distance between them anymore. It was time. Stepping closer, his heart in his mouth, he held out his hand, horrified to see that it was shaking. Adi reached out immediately and took it in her own, stepping in close against his side.

“Come on,” he rasped. “Let’s go.”

Beside her, John saw Hendrix’s face fall as he realised Adi was holding his CO’s hand, but, glancing surreptitiously around, John couldn’t see any other reactions to what he’d done. There were no teasing comments, no sideways looks, nothing… Was it completely unremarkable that he was holding hands with Adi? Or had everyone already known there was something between them? John’s pulse rate kicked up a notch, and, as they moved through the crowd of people, he started to panic at the thought that he’d been obvious in his affections.

Before he’d managed to freak himself out completely, Evan appeared at Adi’s other side and started an innocuous conversation with her, and Miko came up and asked John if he’d enjoyed the surfing yesterday – her brother had surfed and she understood how elemental it was – and suddenly John realised that it wasn’t that people hadn’t noticed, it was that no-one cared if he held Adi’s hand.

A sudden burst of freedom rushed through him and John slid his fingers around until they were interwoven with Adi’s, feeling her squeeze his hand for a moment, even as she was responding to Evan’s questions. A sense of euphoria was building inside him that he’d done this, that he’d actually managed to touch Adi where people could see; that he was – literally – walking along with her hand in his, surrounded by all of his marines and all the civilians he was sworn to protect, and no-one was bothered by it.

Glancing sideways, he caught Evan’s eye, seeing the warmth there and the slight nod as Evan acknowledged John’s actions. John huffed out a breath, knowing that he might never have made it this far without Evan’s support, without Evan telling him, over and over again, that he needed to just let his affection for Adi be seen.

John was still smiling to himself as they reached the point on the beach closest to the rock pool. A dozen or more of the blue-green expedition members had accompanied them along the beach and they began to strip off at the edge of the water, as John, Evan and Adi joined them.

Adi carefully folded her dress and placed it down next to John’s t-shirt, smiling brightly up at him. She had been stunned at John’s gesture, immediately understanding the courage it had taken for him to act, and knowing instinctively that she needed to do nothing to highlight how significant this moment was. So she had taken his hand, but had simply walked quietly at his side, gratefully engaging Evan in conversation but all the time hyper-aware of John’s hand wrapped around hers. And then she’d felt his fingers moving and had thought he was letting go… but no. He was moving to embrace her hand more closely and Adi had felt a surge of warmth run through her to know that John’s affections for her were so strong that he was willing to do this.

She turned to him now, laying her hand tentatively on his forearm. “Evan has taught me to do something he called ‘breaststroke’, but I am not very confident. Would you be willing to stay close by me, Colonel, in case I start to sink?”

John nodded. “Yeah,” he said, his voice a little hoarse from all the emotions that had been swirling around inside him in the last hour. “Absolutely.”

Adi smiled widely at him then bent to pick up a snorkel-and-goggle set that was sitting in a pile, following the example of those around her as she seated the mask just above her forehead and let the snorkel dangle near her ear. Once John had done the same, they waded into the ocean together, surrounded by a cheerful group of blue-green personnel. Adi responded to greetings from Radek and Miko, Dr Simbula, Sergeant Stackhouse, Dr Zhang and Corporal Dubois, along with Matthew, and even Corporal DeSousa.

Evan was at Adi’s left elbow, and, just as the water was growing too deep for wading, she paused and turned to him. “Evan, do you think I will be safe to swim here? Am I good enough yet?”

Evan smiled gently. “Absolutely, Adi. You’re really good at floating, so if you get into any trouble, just roll over onto your back and float until you get yourself together again for another try. And the Colonel said he’d stay close by in case you get into any difficulties.”

Adi nodded, then took that extra step forward, lifting her feet off the seabed and trying to coordinate the breaststroke arms and legs that Evan had spent so long teaching her yesterday. She sank for a moment, bobbed back up gasping, got her coordination together, and then successfully swam the twenty or so metres until they were up against the protrusion of rock that lifted slightly above the ocean here and defined the edges of the rock pool.

She was laughing as she reached out a hand and gripped a knobbly bit of the rock, holding on for a moment as she caught her breath.

“You did great, Adi,” John said. He was feeling a bit uncertain of how to behave around her in public. He’d never had to before and it felt a bit weird, but reminding himself that no-one had thought anything of him holding her hand, he hoisted himself up onto the lip of the rock pool and reached down for her. “Up you come.”

Adi took his hand willingly, knowing that Evan was in the water behind her in case she slipped backwards; but she didn’t, successfully making it up and over the rocky edge and into the pool. Treading water carefully as Evan had taught her, she gazed about, seeing a dozen or more of her blue-green friends enjoying the delights of this magical space. The joy of the day was building inside her and she glanced at Evan who had slipped into the water next to her, before turning to John. “I am ready,” she said.

“Right, well, for snorkelling, you need to put your face into the water and breathe through the snorkel. It feels a bit weird at first…”

As John continued to explain, Evan fitted his own snorkel and goggles and then drifted slowly away. He’d have quite happily stayed to help Adi out, to watch over her and take pleasure in seeing her reactions to the corals and marine life that inhabited this pool, but he didn’t want to impinge on John’s time with her.   

He’d been shocked to see John actually reaching his hand out to take Adi’s after his announcement, especially given how very public a place he had chosen for that action, but he’d felt a sudden surge of joy in his heart at having helped this to happen. He’d encouraged John, again and again, to be more open – both for his own sake and for Adi’s, and John had finally listened. Knowing that he’d been able to influence John that way was a heady feeling and one Evan had relished as he’d walked down the beach, buffering John’s embarrassment in those first few moments. He’d seen the tension slowly leaching out of John’s shoulders, and known that he was growing more comfortable. And now John had Adi in the rock pool where he could swim with her for a full hour without anyone questioning it because Adi had only just learned to swim the day before and therefore needed someone with her. That Evan would’ve happily given up an hour to be beside her was irrelevant. It was best that John got this chance.

Adi fitted the snorkel as John had directed, and trialled dipping her head in. It felt most peculiar, but John was at her side, and when he suggested holding hands as she began, she felt a wave of comfort and safety wash through her. She nodded gratefully. “Oh, yes, please, Colonel. I will feel much safer if you are at my side as I try to do this.” She reached for his hand, and together they dipped their heads and slowly swam around, gazing down at the array of different coloured corals, the silvery-quick fish, the tiny pink and purple star-shaped creatures, a long thin something that moved very swiftly in the depths of the pool… It was incredible, and so beautiful. Adi was mesmerised.

After a while she felt John tugging her hand and she bobbed up above the water.

“Someone’s calling you,” he said.

Adi looked around, seeing Corporal Hendrix waving his hand.

“Adi! There’s an octopus-type thing. Come and look.”

She smiled at him gratefully and nodded. Keeping a good hold of John’s hand, she started to swim across the pool towards where Hendrix was treading water.

“It’s just here, Adi,” Hendrix said the moment she lifted her head. He was grinning at her, clearly wanting her to join in his pleasure at finding something beautiful for her to see.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” she said, and Hendrix flushed.

“You’re welcome, Adi,” he stuttered, his eyes flicking to his CO and then away, and John’s heart clenched, knowing that if he wasn’t here holding Adi’s hand, there was a fair chance that Hendrix would’ve offered to fill that role.

Others were clustering around, also wanting to see the octopus, so Adi leaned her head forward, getting herself into position, and gazed down through the crystal-clear waters, just in time to see a good-sized sea animal with multiple legs swirling its way along the rocky edge of the pool and secreting its entire body into a very small gap in the wall.

She lifted her head, slipping the snorkel from her mouth and laughing lightly. “That was wonderful, Corporal, thank you.”

Hendrix blushed again, nodding in acknowledgement, and Adi turned to find Evan next to her. “Did you see it too, Evan? It was an amazing creature. I have never seen something like it before.”

“Yeah, I saw it. Gorgeous colour,” Evan managed, taking in the sheer joy on Adi’s face. Jesus! Did she have any idea how beautiful she was like this? His eyes flickered to John’s, seeing the awareness there of Evan’s emotions, but not the jealousy he’d expected. Maybe the Colonel was beginning to believe that Evan wasn’t going to try and muscle in on his territory, especially after he’d handed Adi into his care the night before when he could easily have kept her at his own side.

“I should like to rest a little, Colonel,” Adi said, her arms and legs starting to feel tired. “Would you please help me back across to the side of the pool closest to shore? I could sit on the rocks there for a few minutes.”

John nodded and did as asked, watching carefully as Adi levered herself out of the pool and settled on the edge while he stayed in the water. She gazed across at the beach. “Everyone looks very happy. The sandcastle seems to have grown even bigger and many people are playing volleyball.”  She suddenly stiffened, and John pulled himself out of the water instantly, needing to see what had caused that reaction.

Dr Quinten was walking disconsolately along the edge of the beach, kicking at the waves. John’s jaw tightened, knowing that Quinten had a blue-green aura and was probably upset that he couldn’t join the rock pool party, but there was no way he was coming in here with Adi—

“Dr Quinten?” Adi’s call broke across John’s thoughts. “Will you not join us in the rock pool? The Colonel has made this hour for all the blue-greens to enjoy.”

Beside her, Adi could feel John tensing and a moment later Evan appeared on her other side, but she ignored them for the moment. Dr Quinten was staring at her, rocking on his feet a little as if he wanted to come but feared her protectors too greatly.

“Please, won’t you come?” Adi called again. Turning to John, she said softly, “We must start somewhere to rebuild the relationship, Colonel. We live in the same community.”

John gazed at her for a moment and then turned his head to Quinten, giving a curt nod.

Dr Quinten looked from John to Evan, waiting for Evan to also nod approval before starting to strip off his top and pick up a snorkel. Adi smiled as warmly as she was able to at him, then turned around, putting her back to him and gazing into the pool.

“Are you sure about this, Adi?” John asked softly, catching Evan’s worried eyes and reflecting his own concern back.

“Yes. It has been long enough. This is very difficult for us both, but he deserves a chance to be at ease with his community, Colonel, just as I do.”

“Fine,” John said. “But Lorne and I’ll both be staying with you now, Adi.”

Adi glanced up at him, a weak smile on her face. “Thank you, John,” she said softly, then turned to Evan. “Thank you both. I will appreciate having you with me.” Pushing aside her feelings of discomfort and the memories that were crowding her mind, she drew a deep breath, then turned resolutely back to the pool. “Now, there is much still to explore and my hour is surely seeping away. Let us get back to it.”

This time, John took one hand and Evan the other, and Adi floated peacefully between them, knowing herself safe as she watched the denizens of the deep going about their daily activities. There was such an array of wildlife down here, and Adi was mesmerised by all that she saw. The colours, the textures, the different shapes – many-limbed creatures and round balls and things with wavy tendrils and so many differently coloured fish, it was truly magical. And always, always, she could feel John on one side of her and Evan on the other, keeping her safe between them.

Eventually, Adi lifted her head and pushed the snorkel out of her mouth. “My legs are not used to so much work,” she said, laughing lightly. “I feel it is time for me to return to shore.”

Evan grinned at her. “Swimming’s one of the best exercises because it uses so many muscles.”

“I can feel every single one of them in my legs,” Adi said, smiling at him as he and John towed her across to the edge. She could see Dr Quinten carefully moving himself away from her, and she nodded to him, acknowledging his presence here among those who were most comfortable for her to touch.

She wasn’t yet ready to resume any degree of close friendship with him, but she had accepted that the entire incident had been a mistake based on a misinterpretation of the information she had shared about her culture, and it was time to try and mend the breach between them. Accepting that she’d taken the first step – and not feeling up to doing any more today – Adi lifted herself from the water onto the edge of the pool and sat for a moment.

John pulled himself up next to her, although Evan stayed in the pool, treading water nearby.

“All right guys,” John called out, “blue-green hour’s up! You can stay or go, but either way, I expect there’ll be others headed out here as soon as Adi makes it back to shore.”

Adi reached down towards Evan, clasping his hand in her own as he lifted his arm up to her. “Thank you, Evan, for your companionship this morning. I greatly enjoyed snorkelling with you.”

“You’re welcome, Adi,” he said. He glanced at John for a moment, and then back to Adi. “I’m going to stay here for a while, but I’m sure the Colonel will help you back to the beach.”

Adi nodded and carefully manoeuvred herself over the rocky lip and into the ocean on the other side. John joined her a moment later and stayed at her side as she carefully swum back towards the shore. She’d had a lot of fun, and being able to share the experience with John had been incredible, bringing her far more pleasure than she felt she might otherwise have found. She was smiling as her feet touched the bottom, and she pulled the snorkel and goggles free and waded out of the water. “Thank you, Colonel. That was lovely.”

“I’m glad,” John said, gazing into her eyes. “I need to go check on everyone now, see that everything’s running smoothly.”

Adi nodded. “I think I shall find a drink and something small to eat, and then I shall rest for a while.” She took a half-step closer then suddenly stopped, looking up at John. She was about to ask him if it would be acceptable to hug him goodbye when he closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her in close.

Adi sank against him, relishing this moment where John was hugging her in public, in full view of at least two dozen of his people, if not more. He did this in the mess during the morning hug-ins, but he’d never touched her outside of that time. The fact that he was letting something of his emotions be seen was quite overwhelming. She shuffled a little closer, losing herself in the hug, in the bonds she felt with this precious man. She knew how hard this had been for him, a lifetime of hiding everything he was feeling, a lifetime of making sure that not a single romantic emotion was able to escape and be seen because if it were, he faced punishment and censure from the very people whom he had dedicated his life to. And yet here he was, embracing her on the beach of her home planet, letting anyone who was looking see that there was, at the very least, friendship between them.

Eventually John drew back. “I need to… to go… now,” he stuttered. He’d given his everything to that hug, but now the knowledge that he’d exposed himself like this was surging through him and he needed to be somewhere – anywhere – else.

Adi immediately stepped away, dropping her arms, but smiling up at him with all the love in her heart. “Of course, John. Thank you for spending so much of your morning with me. I greatly enjoyed your company.” And then she was gone, moving up the sand to drop her snorkel and goggles back on the pile. She swiped up her dress and walked away down the beach, slowly unfolding it and settling it over her head as she went. As the last of her curves disappeared from sight beneath the fabric, John exhaled sharply, shook his head to clear it, then headed towards the mess tent, determined to act as if nothing unusual had happened that morning at all.

***** *****

8 days later

Evan coughed as another cloud of rock dust filled the air in the narrow tunnel he was surveying. He and his team had been on M2Y-389 for several days now as he worked his way through the abandoned mine Colonel Sheppard’s team had discovered, testing for the mineral they needed to make the personal shields.

It was slow going and the work was physically challenging, but this was the last tunnel to be considered and then he could sit down with the results and decide the best way to extract the mineral. Lifting his chisel and hammer, he carved another chunk out of the wall, waving the dust away before leaning closer to examine the rock face. Yeah, this was good. Perhaps the best yet. He chipped off a much smaller sample, catching it as it fell, and secured it in a pot he’d pre-labelled ‘Tunnel 13’. Best not to get the samples confused.

“Hey, Major?”

Evan startled at the shout, dropping the hammer. It missed his toe by less than a centimetre and he grimaced as he bent to retrieve it. “Yeah?” he shouted back as he straightened.

“Dinner’ll be done in about five minutes, boss,” Reed called.

“‘kay, thanks.” Evan wiped the sweat from his brow and set to, gathering up his tools and lugging the last chunk of rock with him out to the main cavern. His team had been helping as best they could, but most of the assaying work needed to be done by him. The Colonel had given him a week to decide if the mine was usable, and to determine how best to get what they needed. It was the fifth day now and he was almost done.

Coming out into the main cavern, he could see the fire flickering warmly on the far side, Coughlin stirring something in a pot, and Rivers stacking more wood against the wall. Reed was gathering their plates and bowls and bringing them across from the rough camp table.

Evan sank down onto one of the camp stools they’d brought from the jumper. The recent storm that had trapped the Colonel’s team had ravaged the ground around the cave system and they’d had to park the jumper more than two clicks away, but it was still close enough to cart some of the comforts of home.

“How’s it looking, Sir?” Coughlin asked as he dished up the stew.

“Good,” Evan responded, yawning. “I should be able to finish this up tomorrow, and then we can head back and add a mining detail to the rosters. I don’t think we’ll need too much of the mineral to make a start on the personal shields. As soon as we locate the last ingredient, McKay and his minions should be able to kick into production. But the Colonel was keen to have a decent supply to hand. I think he has visions of every single ATA-positive person on base – and at the SGC – being protected by their own shield.”

“That’d be awesome,” Reed contributed. “You’ll be like a superhero, Sir! You can do all the recon work, take the lead in all the dicey situations… when we run into trigger happy natives off-world, you can stand between us and them…”

Evan picked up his dinner roll and threw it at Reed, making him squawk. “It’s not supposed to replace military protocols or make me the prime target, Reed! But I don’t deny it’ll be handy in a tight spot. Maybe the Colonel will decide that only ATA personnel will go off-world once everyone has a shield. That’d be the safest.” He gazed at Reed for a moment, unsurprised when the Corporal objected.

“Oh, hey. That’s not very fair. I like going off-world, Sir. It’s the fun part of the job. You won’t let the Colonel keep us back in the city, just walking patrols, will you? That’d be no fun at all.”

Evan smirked. “Well, maybe just you, Reed. You get into more trouble than the rest of us combined.”

Reed took umbrage at that remark, and there was a little back and forth before he calmed down and went back to his meal.

“There would be some benefits to staying home all the time,” Rivers mused.

“Huh!” Reed scoffed. “Dating Dr Sanderson isn’t a reason to want to stay back.”

Rivers smiled softly. “No, probably not. But I sure am eager to get back to her, get myself some of that warm lovin’ she offers up so easily.” He wriggled his eyebrows at Reed.

The conversation devolved at that point to a give and take across the fire between the two Corporals, with Coughlin chipping in every so often to either fuel the argument further, or try to douse the more outrageous remarks.

Evan sat silently through it all, a light smile playing around his lips. He was feeling very weary and it was nice to just sit and not need to say anything. Although Rivers had been joking, there’d been a thread of truth in the tone of his remarks. He was looking forward to getting back to his new girlfriend, getting back to some hugs and comfort in the night, and Evan didn’t blame him. He’d quite like to have someone to go home to as well.

Thoughts of Adi accompanied him into his sleeping bag that night, and he spent some time just letting the warmth of her friendship wrap around him. He’d felt so proud of the Colonel for finally making his move, finally opening up enough to spend time with Adi in public. But it’d been at his expense, and that was so hard to accept.

If John hadn’t been in the rock pool, Evan could’ve spent the entire time Adi was in there with her, instead of only joining her once Dr Quinten had hopped in with them – and even then, Evan hadn’t been asked to swim with Adi for company, but only for protection. Once she’d left the pool, that had been that. She’d sat with John and his team over lunch, and then they’d all packed up and out, sending jumpers full of happy partygoers home to Atlantis.

At least with the need to fly the Avenger home, Adi had been sitting right up against him, and he’d had the chance to rest his fingers against her neck as the warmth of her body soaked into his leg. But once back in Atlantis, for those few days before he and his team had shipped out on this mission, he’d barely seen her. She’d been eating with John’s team – or with Hendrix late one night he'd noticed when he’d popped into the mess. He’d wondered, actually, if he would need to have a quiet word with Hendrix, remind him that Adi had asked for no overtures of a romantic nature, but he’d seen the respectful way the Corporal interacted with her, and regardless of any emotions Hendrix might be feeling, Evan didn’t think he was going to act on them at all.

The last several days, spending all his time alone in the tunnels, digging up rocks and assessing them, Evan had really been feeling his loneliness. Even though his team was around, they didn’t hug him of course, and he’d been feeling the lack each morning. He’d grown used to the hugs in the mess hall – not just from Adi; lots of the scientists hugged him as well.

He rolled over in his sleeping bag, turning his back towards the fire, sighing lightly as he went. Even when he got back to Atlantis, he still wouldn’t get to have Adi. For all that her beautifully luminous eyes would light up when she saw him, and he knew that she’d sink into his embrace as if she lived there… it wouldn’t go any further than that. Friends. They were just friends. And although he was grateful to have even that much, he would’ve given almost anything to cross the line and share the love in his heart with her in a deeper, more fulfilling way.

It was a long time before he slept.

***** *****

Adi tipped another beaker of fertiliser into her watering can and held it beneath the tap as she patiently waited for it to fill. To all outward appearances, she seemed calm and peaceful, quietly working in the greenhouse, tending the trees and plants that contributed to the produce used in the Lantean kitchens… but inside, her mind was troubled.

In the days following the beach party on Capeglia, Adi had noticed an increase in morale amongst the residents of the city, and indeed, she had shared those feelings. Safe in the knowledge of John’s affections for her, knowing herself to be well-loved, she had been supremely contented with the entire outing, joyfully blending her aura with both John and Evan on the return flight to Atlantis and settling back into her life in the city with a spring to her step. But now things were becoming far more complicated.

The truth was, Evan had been off-world for the past five days, and Adi was missing him. A lot.

After John had been so courageous on the beach that morning, had let his feelings show, had actually taken her hand in his and walked with her where people could see him, Adi had felt her bonds with him growing even closer. But there were other things that had happened at the beach party…

Adi’s teeth worried at her bottom lip as she shut off the tap and lifted the watering can, heading towards the far corner of the greenhouse where the new seedlings were coming up. As she walked, her mind drifted back to Evan’s actions on Capeliga. He had offered her a great deal of companionship during the first day – selflessly taking time from his own fun to teach her to swim, sitting with her at dinner, and offering up his aura to help her cope with cuddling Natol.

Those things were comforting to think of, bringing her a deep-seated pleasure in the knowledge that she had won the friendship of such a good man. But that wasn’t all Evan had done. He’d also seen the pain John had been in when Matthew and Corporal Hendrix had suggested she could sleep with them on the beach. He’d stepped forward then, and offered up the safety of his own arms, allowing her to move gracefully away from a situation that was causing her distress and towards something that she knew would bring her pleasure, something safe and comforting all at once. But then she’d found that Evan had selflessly offered to retrieve her for John… that he’d never meant to sleep with her himself; that he’d simply come to get her, knowing she would accept him, but always with the intention of stepping aside… even though he, himself, would have no doubt relished the opportunity to lie with her in his arms.

Adi sighed as the water splashed out over the seedlings, creating rivers and pools in the soft earth, watching carefully so as not to drown any of the tiny plants. As she headed back towards the potting table where the fertiliser and tap were located, she reflected on how very safe she felt with Evan, how much she trusted him – even knowing that his body sometimes reacted to her presence. She’d felt his response to her hug by the jumpers, had realised that his body was reacting to hers, and yet she had known that she could trust him, that there was no cause for fear. Evan would never hurt her, she knew that for a certainty. He was always looking out for her, always offering up his friendship, his support, and his shy smile, his dimples deepening with pleasure as he gazed at her.

Adi huffed out a breath as she started to refill her watering can. Her feelings for Evan had been growing steadily stronger since his return from his week of solitude on Capeliga nearly two months before. She could no longer say that she had no thoughts of Evan beyond friendship, because it was not true. And yet… how could she possibly tell John this?

She had promised John that she would do nothing amorous with another without his knowledge, would take no steps to try and grow closer to anyone else without first telling him of her feelings, but it seemed so cruel to fulfill that promise now.

John had just made the gigantic step of letting others see that he and Adi did in fact know each other well enough to casually touch in public, and this was a huge accomplishment for him. He had needed to overcome a lifetime of conditioning to make that step, and he had done so for her. He had taken her hand in his on that beach purely to bring Adi joy. John had accompanied her to the rock pool, had spent a full hour or more with her – had even hugged her, deeply, closely, truly, on the beach when they’d returned to shore. All where others might see him do so.

And since returning to Atlantis, he had been more open to being seen with her, letting her sit with his team without tensing up, smiling at her properly if they passed in the corridors as they both went about their business. John was finally feeling safe enough with his emotions, and with his attachment to Adi, to let a little of their relationship be seen… so how could she reasonably go to him now and say that she had tender feelings for Evan, that she would like to embrace Evan more closely? It wasn’t possible. It simply wasn’t! John’s culture did not readily accept loving more than one person at a time, and he had struggled so much with his jealousy and with his fear that she would see Evan in a more romantic light.

Adi’s shoulders slumped and she set the watering can down on the ground. She leaned against the potting bench, her hands gripping the edge tightly as she tried to think of a solution that would enable her to be true to her own feelings, her own culture, without destroying John’s fledgling attempts to open his heart.

No, she couldn’t do it. Not right now. She would need to wait, to be completely certain of her feelings for Evan before she spoke with John. It would be too hurtful to tell him now, while he was so carefully navigating this new emotional space with her.

Sighing, Adi lifted the watering can and returned to her work, knowing that things would surely become messy if she did not speak, and yet knowing that she could not bear to hurt John so badly.

Reflecting that it would be best to wait until Evan finally returned to the city from his off-world adventures – and to be completely certain that her feelings were truly engaged – Adi wended her way through the greenery, inhaling the soft scents of the trees about her, and trying to calm her sense of unease over the whole situation.

Chapter Text

It was mid-afternoon, two days later, when the Atlantis gate suddenly stirred to life. The gate room guards came to the alert, palming their weapons and readying themselves for anything.

“It’s Major Lorne’s IDC,” Amelia called out, and the battle tension dropped away although the weapons stayed up.

The event horizon rippled as a jumper slid through, hovering for a moment before starting its ascent.

“Is that Lorne back?” Colonel Sheppard asked behind Amelia’s shoulder, and she jerked slightly, not having heard him come up.

“Yes, Sir,” she responded, and Sheppard nodded, turning towards the staircase that led up to the Jumper Bay.

When he arrived, Coughlin and Rivers were walking down the ramp, carrying two crates of rocks between them.

“Well, that looks hopeful,” John said, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. He was very eager to get the ingredients they needed for the personal shields, and visions of being able to keep all of his personnel safe wafted before his eyes.

“You won’t stop us going off-world will you, Sir?” Reed suddenly asked, as he followed his teammates down the ramp, arms full of sleeping bags.

“What do you mean?” John asked, his eyes flicking past Reed, unconsciously seeking his first view of Lorne after nearly a week without seeing him at all.

“The Major said that you want to give all the ATA personnel a shield. But I still want to go off-world, Sir, even if I don’t have a shield.” Reed was gazing at him, his eyes hopeful, and John rocked back onto his heels.

“Well, uh… we, um…”

“Now is not the time, Reed,” Evan said, finally appearing on the ramp, a caddy of tools in one hand, his duffle bag in the other.

John’s eyes lit up and he fought to keep a grin off his face. Evan was looking very scruffy after a week without washing or shaving, but he was still one of the most beautiful sights John had seen in a long while.

“I was just asking, Sir,” Reed said despondently.

“It’s something we’ll need to debate, Corporal,” John said. “We don’t have enough ATA personnel to fill every need off-world, but I expect we’ll be doing some reshuffling to send the most protected troops into the most dangerous situations.”

Reed’s shoulders slumped. “Okay, Sir,” he said.

“Dismissed,” John said, taking pity on him. He knew he wouldn’t want to be grounded, simply because he couldn’t wear the shield, but if they could guarantee the safety of those taking the first contact missions, for example, he’d be stupid not to grasp that opportunity. 

As Reed disappeared through the Bay Room doors, John turned to Evan. “How’d it go?” he asked, his eyes feasting on Lorne’s face. God, he’d missed him. Despite having Adi’s company every night and having her around during the days, he’d still missed Evan, missed talking to him, missed spending time with him, missed his smile. Fighting to keep all of those feelings from showing on his face, John tilted his head to the side, silently inviting Lorne to walk with him as they talked.

As they stepped out into the corridor, heading for the equipment store, Evan said, “It’s looking great, Sir. A few of the tunnels were pretty tapped out in terms of the mineral. But there are decent-sized deposits that are readily accessible in two of the other tunnels. I think if we roster teams of three for each of those seams, they’d be able to chip the rock out as I’ve done with the chisel and hammer, and if we can set up some crushing equipment on site – perhaps the Daedalus can bring it on their next run, Sir – then by the time the rock has passed through all of that, we should have a steady stream of the raw mineral making its way back to Atlantis.”

John grinned at him, and Evan grinned back, thinking how nice it was to see his CO looking so carefree. Taking a moment to just bask in the glow of having caused that grin, Evan turned in through the doors to the equipment room. He quickly returned the chisel and hammer and all the other paraphernalia he’d taken with him as the Colonel started to fill him in on what he’d missed during his absence.

They’d reached the doors of Evan’s quarters by the time John finished his debrief. “Right then, I think that’s everything, Major. You have a shower – it looks as if half the rock dust from those tunnels has taken up residence in your hair,” he smirked, before continuing, “then get yourself to the infirmary. You’re off duty until tomorrow morning.”

Evan nodded and gratefully slid through the doors into his room. He was pretty tired, but a steaming hot shower would definitely give him new energy. And if the memory of John’s grin followed him into the flow of water, well, no-one needed to know that but himself.

***** *****

Evan passed his post-mission physical with no issues at all, and, after letting his team know they were all off-duty until the next day, he found himself at loose ends. What he’d like to do was to go find Adi and share a hug with her. He had to keep reminding himself that she wasn’t his, that he was just a friend, that she was his boss’ girlfriend and he had no right to seek her out - and definitely no right to be craving one of her warm, soft, full-body, all-encompassing hugs. He needed to try and pull back a little, especially as John was so aware of the depth of Evan’s feelings. That couldn’t be comfortable for him.

Sighing lightly, Evan headed instead for his office. He knew he’d been given the afternoon and evening off, but if he could get caught up on all the emails that would’ve filled his inbox while he’d been off-world, it would make tomorrow go that little bit more smoothly for him.

Several hours passed as Evan waded through the emails. The regular databurst to Earth had happened while he’d been off-world, so there was a flood of information from the IOA and the SGC to deal with – posting orders and disciplinary updates, time-in-grade reviews and requests for performance evaluations. It was all there, and Evan worked through each email, either actioning it immediately or making a note of what needed doing for tomorrow.

Eventually he got far enough down the list to find the personal emails, and he sat back and read one from his sister, updating him on the antics of his nephews. He was smiling as he clicked reply and settled in to share his own news. There was so much he couldn’t tell her, but if he left out words like ‘Pegasus’ and ‘Wraith’ and ‘off-world’, then he could at least tell her about the beach party and let her know he’d been assaying an abandoned mine they’d stumbled across. She’d be quite chuffed to hear that, knowing how much he’d enjoyed studying for his geology degree.

He pressed ‘Send’, and then clicked to open the next email. A sudden smile lit his face as he realised it was the children’s e-books he’d requested for Adi, to help with her desire to learn to read English. He’d put in the request weeks ago, not at all sure that the redoubtable Walter would be able to secure anything, but he’d come through in style. Evan gazed through the array of titles, knowing that Adi would delight in reading her way through these.

He opened the top drawer of his desk and drew out the tablet he’d asked McKay to supply in anticipation of this moment, quickly transferring the files onto it. And then he stood, wondering where Adi would be.

Glancing at his watch, he realised that he’d missed dinner in his desire to get all of his emails actioned. Adi usually ate quite early, as soon as her shift in the botany labs finished, so she wouldn’t be in the mess. Perhaps her forest balcony? Trying desperately to mute the smile on his face from having such a valid reason for seeking her out, Evan left his office and headed for the nearest transporter.

***** *****

Adi had had a busy day and was feeling the satisfaction that comes with a job well done. She’d eaten dinner with Sergeant Stackhouse and his team, sitting comfortably among them as they’d chatted about their upcoming mission and teased each other about this and that. It was friendly and warming to be included in their camaraderie, and she’d left the mess hall feeling uplifted.

Pausing briefly in her quarters to retrieve one of her silky, soft Capeligan blankets, she’d made her way to her forest balcony, book in hand, intending to spend the last hour or two of daylight trying to further her English reading. But her attention had wandered too much for her to gain much traction with the simple picture book, and she’d eventually closed it and turned her attention to the never-ending ocean, her skin alight with the feel of the soft breeze wafting across her lounge chair.

She didn’t hear the balcony doors slide open but some sense alerted her to company, and she turned her head sharply, seeing Evan coming towards her.

“Oh!” she cried, feeling a surge of delight run through her. “Evan!” She pushed back her blanket and rose to her feet, crossing the balcony in a few quick steps and walking straight in against his body, sliding her arms about his waist and snuggling her head in against his neck. “I have missed you. It is so lovely to see you,” she said softly, and Evan, feeling his heart turning over at such an effusive greeting, nodded his agreement. It was lovely to be seen.

With Adi wrapped securely in his arms as she melted against his body, Evan alternately basked in the comfort of her embrace, and reminded himself that she wasn’t his.

The hug lasted forever, both of them relishing the touch of one another’s bodies – and the melding of their auras in Adi’s case. Meshing with Evan’s aura was so easy and comforting and the sensory response from the meld was deliciously uplifting.

Eventually though, Adi drew back a little, her arms still lying loosely around Evan’s waist. She tilted her head up to him as he looked down at her and their eyes caught. And then the tip of Evan’s tongue slipped out between his lips for an instant before disappearing again, and Adi suddenly gasped, stilling completely.

“Adi? What’s wrong?” Evan asked, feeling the sudden rigidity of her body against his arms. “You’re safe, Adi. What… what’s wrong?”

But Adi was shaking her head and stepping back, pushing out of his arms as he dropped them away, and backing up until she was leaning against the balcony railing, a look of shock on her face. “I… I…” She huffed out a distressed breath. “I need John.” And then she rushed past him, swiping her hand over the balcony door controls and disappearing up the hallway, heedless of Evan’s cries calling her back.

Trying desperately to think what the fuck could’ve gone wrong, Evan reached a hand down to check that he wasn’t hard, even though he knew he wasn’t. He’d been enjoying the warmth of companionship in that hug, not thinking lustful thoughts at all. Lifting his hand, surprised to see it was shaking slightly, he tapped his radio for a private channel. “Um, John?”

John was in the armoury, responding to a call from the on-duty marine regarding a jammed P-90, but he stiffened instantly in response to Evan’s voice. “What’s happened?” he asked urgently. “Where is she?” Because if Lorne was using his first name, then this related directly to Adi, and clearly something had gone badly awry.

“I don’t know,” Evan said, his voice quavering. “She… she said she needed you and she… she just… she ran. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Start at the beginning,” John said, pushing the P-90 across the counter and walking out of the armoury. “Where were you when this happened?”

“On the forest balcony,” Evan said. “I just came to bring her the e-books that’d arrived from Earth. She… she hugged me. And then, then she…”

John moved into and out of the transporter, jogging down the hall towards the forest balcony. As he came through the door, Evan was just standing there, looking distraught, confusion written all over his face.

“What happened then?” John asked, his eyes quickly searching for clues. “She hugged you and then… what? Did you… did you try to… touch her?”

“No!” Evan replied, shocked. “Of course not. I promised her I never would. She… the hug was really… long but there wasn’t anything… wrong with it. And then she moved back a bit and looked up at me, all sweet and caring, just like usual. But then suddenly she pulled out of my arms and said she needed you and… and she ran.”

John stiffened slightly as Evan finished his explanation, then forced his body to relax. He drew a couple of deep breaths, trying to still his suddenly surging pulse. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t noticed that Adi had been subdued in the past few days. She was still happy to see him, had spent some very delicious hours in their suite with him on a couple of different nights, but there’d been a lingering tension about her, a sense that she was dealing with something and didn’t want to talk about it. And now here was Lorne, newly returned from off-world, and Adi had hugged him – for a really long time apparently – and then looked up at him before suddenly running off to find John.

The swirling nausea in John’s gut told him that he was adding two and two and quite correctly coming up with four. His shoulders slumped with sorrow, even though he’d been expecting – and dreading – this moment. “I think, um… I think I know what the problem is, Lorne. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll, um… I’ll go find her. But it… it wasn’t your fault.”

“How can you know that?” Evan asked, looking at him uncertainly.

John shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, just… don’t blame yourself, Evan. It wasn’t you.”

He turned away, leaving Evan standing on the balcony, confused as all hell. He had no idea why Adi had run from him and no idea what John was alluding to. How could it not be his fault? He stood and watched his CO walk away up the hallway, taking note of the sombre line of his shoulders, the miserable set to his gait, as if the man was going to his own funeral.

What the hell had happened here tonight?

***** *****

Adi was sitting on the end of the pier, her legs dangling over the edge when John found her. He’d had a quick look in the garden, but he’d suspected she’d go somewhere very private for this conversation, and he’d been right. He sat down beside her, letting his own legs fall over the edge and wondering if he’d shortly be feeling like throwing himself over completely and letting the ocean just take him. He’d known this was coming, but now that the moment was finally here, he was wishing himself anywhere other than sitting next to Adi, waiting to hear her say she was in love with Evan.

Adi reached out her hand and wrapped it around John’s, shuffling over until she was leaning against him. She sniffed a couple of times, quickly wiping away a stray tear. She hadn’t cried much, just a little at feeling so overwhelmed. She’d known she wanted a closer relationship with Evan, but she’d assumed she wanted to feel the warmth and safety of his embrace as she slept. To suddenly find herself experiencing a surge of desire for him, to know that she’d wanted nothing more than for him to lean down and kiss her… It’d been such a shock! And so she’d run away, unable to deal with her unexpected emotions.

She’d headed for her safe place to try and process what it was that she truly wanted, knowing John would find her there. She sniffed again, feeling John’s warmth against her side, but also feeling the tension in his body and the ruffled energies of his aura. “Did Evan radio you?” she asked softly, and felt John nod.

“Yeah. He, um, he told me what… what happened. Is this, um… Are you, um…” His voice was shaking and he couldn’t go on. It felt like he was losing her in this moment, and he suddenly found he couldn’t bear it. “Do you have to, Adi? Can’t you just…?”

Adi straightened up and turned slightly towards him, lifting her hand and cradling his cheek. “John, you know that I love you with all my heart and soul? You know this to be true?”

He nodded, starting to sniff himself as his emotions welled up inside him. This was actually worse than losing Nancy had been. This felt like losing part of his soul. “I don’t want to… lose you,” he managed, and Adi gasped.

“You will not lose me, John. You could never lose me. I have given you my heart. We are as one, you and I. We are bonded. I am not… I am not wanting to leave you, John. I thought you had understood this when we spoke in the clearing below the waterfall. I told you then that I would not walk away from you… but that I might, one day, want to add someone else to my bonding group.”

John sniffed, clinging to the hand Adi had yet to let go of. “This is what’s been… troubling you this week, isn’t it?”

Adi nodded. “Yes,” she confessed, her voice low. “I am sorry, John. I did not want to speak of this to you at a time when you had taken such steps to open your emotions to me. You have been allowing our relationship into the light and it seemed very poor timing for me to realise that Evan had engaged my emotions to such a degree that I wanted more from him than just friendship.”

John nodded, blinking away the tears. He’d known this was going to happen, he’d been expecting it. Who wouldn’t fall in love with Evan Lorne, given the chance? But still… it was a lot harder than he’d thought it’d be to actually hear Adi saying that she wanted him. “So what happens now? What happens… to me, now? Do you… do you just… push me aside for a while and spend all your time… with him? I mean… that’s what usually happens when you start dating someone new.”

Adi gazed up at him, her eyes luminous in the light of the rising moons. “On your planet, John. That is what happens on Earth. It is not what will happen here. It is not what happened with my people. A new love interest was simply added to the bonding group and everyone welcomed them, everyone embraced them. There was joy and celebration in the new bond.” She sniffed again, looking away for a moment as she composed herself. Thoughts of her lost community were always hard to deal with, but tonight these memories were even more poignant than usual as she tried to follow the path her upbringing had led her to, while dealing with an alien culture that did not readily accept the free and easy lifestyle she had been brought up with. Eventually, she turned back to John. “I do not even know if Evan will be amenable to a closer relationship with me.”

John snorted. “Yes, you do. He’ll jump at anything you offer. That man is head over heels in love with you.”

Adi nodded slowly. “Yes, I believe that he is. But he is also extremely honourable, John, and he will not want to cause you any pain.”

“Maybe, but that’s not… that’s not going to stop him from taking whatever you’re offering.” He paused for a moment and then, his voice soft and low as if he truly didn’t want to know the answer, he asked, “What do you… want from him, Adi? What are you…? Are you going to sleep with him, now? Take him to our suite and…” He huffed out a breath, a single tear slipping over the edge of his eyelid and trickling down his face. He turned his head away, horrified that he couldn’t keep his emotions properly locked down.

“Ah, John. You fear too much.” Adi shifted a little, leaning in against his side again, wanting to give him what comfort she could during this terribly difficult conversation. “I had only thought that I would want to sleep within his embrace on the nights when you are unavailable, John. I missed him greatly this week, while he was off-world. And I worried for him, hoping that nothing bad would befall him.”

John nodded to himself, remembering Adi telling him that was one of the differences between himself and Evan, that she worried for John every moment of every day, but she never thought of Evan when he was on a mission. Well, apparently those goal posts had now shifted.

Adi waited for John to process her words, but when he stayed silent, she continued. “It was not until I saw him this evening, when he came unexpectedly to my balcony… I had not realised he had returned, and I felt such a surge of joy when I turned my head and he was there. I hugged him, John, for a very long time, feeling his aura blending with mine and swirling around us in blissful resonance… It was beautiful. And then I drew back, intending to ask him if his mission had gone well. But he was… he was just… there, his face so close and such a tender expression, and I suddenly realised… I realised that I wanted him to kiss me, John. I wanted to kiss another man, to kiss Evan. And it was such a shock!” She was trembling now and John tightened his arm around her, wanting only to comfort her. It was so difficult to listen to this, but it was Adi talking, sharing her truth with him, and he wanted her to feel safe again, to feel comforted and balanced.

“I ran from him, John. I ran away, even though he was calling to me. I knew I needed to speak with you. It was cowardly of me not to have discussed my growing feelings for him with you before. I could have done so, any night this week, and yet I chose not to, and I am feeling that this was a betrayal of your trust.” She drew back a little and turned her eyes up to his, and John felt a jolt of remorse run through him.

“No,” he whispered. “You knew I wouldn’t want to hear it, Adi. That’s not your fault. If I’d been less jealous, you would’ve told me.”

Adi nodded, unable to refute John’s words. “Yes. But that does not mean I was right to keep this from you.”

There was silence for a few minutes as they both considered the upheavals of the evening, and then John spoke, his voice shaking with the intensity of his emotions, “Adi? Can I… can I please still… still be… your first?”

Adi gasped. “Yes! Of course, you will be, John. How could you think otherwise?”

John shrugged, but inside a kernel of hope was blossoming.

Adi lifted her hands to John’s cheeks, turning his head towards her and holding his gaze with her own. “John, without you, I would not even be able to tolerate a man touching me in anything other than friendship. You are everything to me. I do not know if I will ever be able to make love fully, but if I can, then you will certainly be the first to know me so intimately. Perhaps the only one ever to do so.” She paused, huffing out a breath rich with emotion. This was so hard, but John deserved the truth.

She let her hands slide down to his hands, weaving their fingers together and holding on firmly as if fearing he might run, as she had done earlier. “You asked what this would mean for you, for us? Well… I wish to hold Evan closely, to blend my aura with his and feel his strong, safe arms about me, to feel him breathing against my body, to feel the solid, steady beat of his heart… These things already bring me much joy, and I would like to strengthen those bonds with him.” She paused again, ordering her thoughts. “I have told you before that I greatly enjoy the feel of his naked skin against my own, and I know that I would enjoy sharing his bed. I know that I can trust him implicitly not to seek more from me than I am offering. He will never be a danger to me when I am asleep, just as you have never been.” Her voice softened as she added, “And, as I found out this evening, I realise that I wish to feel his lips against my own.”

John’s expression turned despairing. “But kissing is what we do, and then you… I mean you, in the suite with me, we kiss… and then… there’s… there’s orgasms.” He shut his eyes, embarrassed at how badly he was expressing himself, but Adi just snuggled closer, loosening their fingers and sliding her arms around him, letting her head rest against his chest.

“Do you remember showing me the recording of the Olympics on your world, John, and the men who ran in a… marathon, I think you called it?”

“Yeah,” John said, unsure what the hell that had to do with anything.

“Evan is at the starting line of the marathon, John, but you are so far ahead of him that you are completely out of sight. As Evan begins to move forward along the track, so too will you be, John. You must remember that you and I slept in friendly embrace for many months before I was ready for anything of a more intimate nature.”

John nodded, remembering all those nights when he’d fallen asleep with Adi’s softness nestling against his chest, perfectly content in their platonic relationship. “But you said you… you want to kiss him, so he’s not really at the start line, is he?”

“No, perhaps not. You have helped me to overcome some of my fears, John. You have helped me to be able to think of being close to a man in intimacy without panicking. And so, yes, it is true that I have realised that I would like to kiss Evan, to feel his lips against mine, because I love how it feels when you kiss me, John, and I would like to find that closeness with Evan, as well.”

John drew a deep, deep breath, letting as much tension as possible fall from him as he slowly exhaled. Clearly there was nothing he could do to stop this, he was going to need to share Adi with Evan from now on, and really, he sort of already had been, what with the way she held his hand and sank into his embrace and turned to him for companionship and for comfort. Perhaps this was just adding one more layer to what had already existed between the three of them. “Will I still… see you?” he asked, his voice a little broken, “or will you… will you spend all your time with him now, and just… come to find me if… if he’s not available?”

Adi’s eyes widened. “Of course you will still see me.” She shook her head, trying to understand this from John’s perspective. It was so far outside her own experience it was difficult to grasp what he was imagining. “I realise that my way of life is not yours, John, that you have no… understanding of how it was between my people. There was no severing of an existing tie when a new bond was added. The love simply grew to encompass more people. Everyone was happy.” Tears began to well in her eyes as she remembered the simple way of life she’d grown up with, all her people moving easily between their beloveds, sharing themselves openly and joyously, no-one left out, no-one jealous of new connections being formed. She knew how hard this concept was for the Lanteans to comprehend, and she could not bear to see John so distressed. “I promise you, John, that you will be the first man that I ever willingly accept inside my body. You will be my first. The first man to truly make love to me… when – if – I am ever ready for that.”

John swallowed heavily, accepting the truth in Adi’s words. But he was still troubled. “He’s so much better at… at this,” he said, his voice rasping uncomfortably, “at all of this emotional stuff… I-I-I’m worried that… that it’ll be easier with him, and that you’ll… you’ll leave me behind.” He gazed into her eyes, feeling a sense of gratitude that he’d managed to express those fears. This is what months of exposure to Adi and her emotional competence did to a man.

Adi was shaking her head. “You are each unique and beautiful in your own way, John. I do not compare you, one to the other… I embrace you for yourselves, for how you make me feel… and I will never walk away from you, John. Just because words are difficult for you does not mean you have failed to share your feelings with me. Your love for me is evident in every touch, every care you offer me, it is there in your patience and acceptance of my limitations, it suffuses your being when I lie in the shelter of your arms. I am not walking away from you, John, I am walking us both towards something new.”

John nodded slowly, hearing Adi's words and trying to see this from her point of view. He knew she wanted to share her love with both him and Evan, but that thought actually spiked a new concern, especially given how open Evan was with his emotions.

“John? What is it?” Adi had seen the change in his demeanour and was looking about for the danger.

“No, it’s… there’s nothing wrong. Just… Adi, Evan and I… we’re in the same chain-of-command.”

“Yes, I know, John,” Adi said, looking at him quizzically. “This is one of the reasons that you are unable to tell him of your feelings. You cannot… fraternise.”

“Yeah, but, um… look, everyone’s used to seeing you hug Evan, and go to him if you’re upset or whatever. But now, well… since Capeliga, you and me… we’ve been… people have seen you… sitting with me and, on the beach I… I hugged you where they could all see, so…” He paused, biting his lip as he tried to work out how to explain the danger.

But Adi was ahead of him. Her brow furrowed as she laid her hand gently on his forearm. “Are you suggesting that if I make it obvious Evan and I have bonded, then those who have noticed that you and I have also grown closer in recent days might wonder about the relationship between yourself and Evan; that they might be uncertain if your relationship with Evan remains strictly professional?”

John nodded his head. “That report of Corrigan’s… most people had read it before Elizabeth pulled it. They all know your culture had bonding groups. So, if they… if they see you with Evan, now, when they’ve just seen you and me being more… open… in public…”

Adi nodded her head slowly as she bit her lip. “So what must I do, John? I do not wish to put either of you at risk. Must I keep anything beyond friendship to a time when Evan and I are alone?” She looked at him, hoping there was a simple solution to this problem.

John nodded, thinking through the logistics as quickly as he could, trying to see the potholes before they suddenly found themselves in one. “I don’t… I don’t fully understand what it was like for your people… what you think is normal to do in public when you… bond with someone new… but you… you should probably avoid things like, um… kissing him in the mess, or… or telling people that you’re sleeping with him some nights. You can still do exactly what you’ve been doing with him – you know, hugging him and having dinner with his team, and running the ninja course with him; holding his hand, going to him for comfort, going to the waterfall with him...” John’s voice faltered as he realised just how much time Adi already spent with Lorne.

“But anything more than just friendship must be kept private, just as it is for you and I?” Adi asked, feeling that she could manage that quite easily. After all, it was just what she had been doing with John for all these months, and that had worked out perfectly well.

John nodded. “Yeah. Like that. You can… um… you could… sleep with him in his room or yours, or, um, out here, I guess. The control room’s gonna realise, but… Chuck covered for me with Caldwell, before, when the Genii invaded. So, I think it’ll be okay if they know.”

Adi smiled up at him, grateful that John was willing to help her with this, to think through the problems she might face with expanding her bonding group and come up with solutions. It would have been so easy for him to make more of an issue of this, to prevent her from speaking with Evan, but he hadn’t. One of the things that drew her to him was his honour, and it was shining brightly tonight. “Come, John. I wish to embrace you fully. Please, will you stand with me? I wish to feel your arms around me and your body against my own.”

John rose with alacrity, perfectly happy to hug Adi for as long as she’d let him. He drew her in against him, feeling her melt into his body, and his heart clenched as the tumultuous emotions of the evening threatened to overwhelm him. He’d lost her… but he hadn’t. She’d promised to keep him, even if he was utterly useless with emotions.

He still wasn’t sure what this bigger bonding group was going to actually look like, especially given the need to keep it quiet, but Adi didn’t seem to feel there were any issues with dating both him and Evan at the same time. She’d said over and over that he’d still see her, that she wasn’t leaving him. Maybe it was time to start trusting her.

Adi was resting quiescent in his arms, their bodies touching as closely as possible while still dressed, and John breathed deeply, letting her scent waft over him, finding solace in her presence as the tension in his body slowly bled away. He might be sharing her, but he would still have this. And at least he was sharing her with someone that he knew was worthy of her. That helped. A lot.

Eventually Adi drew away. “Thank you, John. That was beautiful.” She gazed up at him. “I left Evan without any explanation, and I think that I must speak to him tonight and apologise.”

“And tell him you want him in your bonding group?” John asked, unable to help himself.

Adi nodded. “And invite him to join my bonding group, if he would wish to do so.”

John snorted again. “He will. He will.”

A gentle smile flickered over Adi’s face. “Yes, I believe that too.” She paused for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly. “John, do you wish me to keep you apprised of my progress towards intimacy with Evan?”

John huffed out a breath, his mouth falling open in shock. “What? You mean, tell me that you’ve… kissed him, or whatever?”

Adi nodded. “Would you like to know what I am doing with him?”

“No! I don’t know. Would I? I have no idea.” John shrugged helplessly as Adi silently watched him. “I don’t know if it’d be worse knowing what you’re doing, or wondering what you’re doing.”

“I think the imagination can conjure many things that cause great distress, when to simply know the truth would give clarity and nothing more.” 

“Right. That makes sense.” He thought that sometimes his imagination was a bit too vivid, and Adi was probably right. If he knew what she was doing with Evan, he wouldn’t need to worry that she was going to be getting naked with him in the suite and let him go places that she wasn’t yet ready to go with him.

“Will you kiss me, John?” Adi whispered. “I would very much like to feel the comfort of your lips against my own.”

“Yeah,” John said, wanting that too. He took a half step back, dropping his arms down by his sides.

Adi placed one hand on his shoulder as the other one cradled his cheek. “You may rest your hand on my shoulder, John, as we have been,” she said softly, and John lifted his hand immediately, cupping her shoulder and leaning down. Adi pushed up a little on her feet and their lips met.

The kiss was sweet and gentle, a little more tentative than those that had come before, and Adi accepted John’s withdrawal, knowing that he’d been hurt very badly by what had transpired this evening. She moved a little closer to his body – not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel his warmth down her front. His lips softened and his mouth opened, inviting her in, and Adi avidly followed his lead, grateful when the kiss deepened as John fully engaged. She hadn’t wanted to cause him pain, but she needed to follow her heart and the ways of her people. Sliding her tongue into his mouth, she felt her breathing picking up, the now familiar sensation of early arousal tinging her cheeks pink and settling low in her belly.

Eventually, she drew back, smiling up at him. John was smiling too, feeling a little more settled in his skin. Then he remembered she was going to go and find Lorne now, and kiss him. He swallowed uncomfortably, his smile slipping away.

“I should go and find Evan,” Adi said, confirming John’s fear, and John nodded.

“I can send him out here if you like?”

“Could you ask him to go to his quarters, John? I think perhaps it would be best to discuss this matter in a private setting.”

John nodded. “Sure.” He could think of a whole lot of things they could do together in the privacy of Evan’s quarters. Suppressing those thoughts as quickly as possible, he managed to smile at her. “You head off now and he should be there by the time you get there.”

Adi nodded, turning away. She swung back as John reached for his radio. “Will you be all right, John? Can I leave you out here, alone?”

John nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. You head along.” He was holding his emotions back by main force now, needing Adi to leave so he could let the grip he had on his feelings go.

Adi smiled gently and turned away again, hearing John talking into his radio as she headed for the transporter. She was feeling fragile after their conversation, but it wasn’t fair to leave Evan in a state of uncertainty over his actions earlier. He had done nothing wrong, but he would be feeling concerned for her, and she would not leave him to dwell on those feelings all night.

John watched as Adi walked away from him and towards her new lover. Although, if he was being fair, he should probably say ‘bond mate’ rather than ‘lover’. After all, he wasn’t even sure if he was Adi’s lover at this point. For all the orgasms he’d enjoyed in her presence, she still barely touched him. Swallowing down his hurt at the entire situation, he slowly started to follow her down the pier.

He’d let her take the transporter to go find Lorne and tell him his waiting days were over, and while she was doing that he’d go and find the strongest source of alcohol in the city and use it to numb his pain. There was no way he’d be sleeping tonight without some serious help, and whiskey or rum seemed like a great choice, right about now. And hey, if he was drunk, he could pretend the alcohol was the reason that Adi wasn’t sleeping with him tonight, and maybe he wouldn’t spend the whole night imagining her cradled in Lorne’s arms.

Chapter Text

John sprawled loose-limbed on his sofa, his hand wrapped around the whiskey bottle he’d pilfered from Carson’s stash as his thoughts drifted.

His inebriated ruminations were interrupted by the sound of his doorbell, and he rolled his head along the back of his sofa, eyeing the door with disgruntlement. When the bell sounded again, he grimaced, then with a sigh, he set the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the floor and thought ‘open,’ looking to see who was disturbing his very nice one-man pity party.

The unexpected sight of his XO standing on the threshold brought John quickly to his feet, although he swayed a little, reaching out a hand to steady himself. “Lorne? What are you doing here?” he asked, pleased to notice that he was barely slurring his words.

The half-bottle of whiskey had caught Evan’s eye the instant the door opened, and he chewed nervously at his bottom lip, gazing uncertainly at his CO. He hadn’t expected John to be drunk, but this wasn’t something that would improve with waiting ‘til morning. He stepped through the door, letting it close behind him. “Um, Adi came to see me,” he said uncomfortably. “She, um, she said—”

“I know what she said,” John interrupted. He averted his gaze, swallowing heavily. “Did you… did you say yes?”

Evan huffed out a breath. “I… no. I… She’s yours, John. She… you…” He stumbled to a stop, and John lifted his eyes. There was confusion written all over Evan’s face, but also want and hope and fear.

John sighed and looked away again. He’d done a lot of thinking as the level in the whiskey bottle had dropped, and he’d realised a few truths that he’d been ignoring, one of which was how honourable Evan had been through all these months. It was obvious he was as in love with Adi as John was, but he’d done nothing but help foster their relationship, stepping back as much as he could, offering advice and support to both John and Adi, helping John to gather his courage and let something of how he felt show. He’d been utterly selfless as he’d watched the woman he loved grow closer and closer to another man, but it had left him both lonely and isolated. And John didn’t want that, not for Evan.

He hadn’t expected Lorne to turn Adi down, though. He hadn’t expected him to turn up here, either, wanting to talk about it. But perhaps he should have. Adi had suspected it might go this way. She’d said she wasn’t sure if Evan would accept her offer, and clearly she’d been right. So now it was up to John to sort this out for her, to help her get what she wanted so badly, because that was the other thing John had realised – Adi’s happiness mattered, a lot.

“She wants you, Evan,” he said softly. “She… she came and told me, before she acted on that, which is what we agreed, after… after that night when I… shouted at you, in the bed. She promised me then that she’d… she’d tell me, before she… did anything… with you.” He swallowed again.

“But you’re not okay with this,” Evan said, his voice quavering. His emotions had been see-sawing for the past hour or more as Adi had laid out her hopes, and Evan had desperately tried to keep to the honourable path he’d set for himself all those months ago when he’d promised John he wasn’t going to try and take his woman. Gazing at John now, he could see the pain this was causing and his heart ached for his part in it all. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he moved slowly across to the chair at the desk and sat gingerly down, watching as John slumped back onto the sofa.

John reached for the whiskey bottle and took another swig, settling his thoughts before lifting his eyes to meet Evan’s. “I… I love her, Evan,” he said, surprised at how easy it was to admit that out loud. “And she… she loves me. But she also loves you. And in her culture, it’s… it’s normal… for her to… take more than one partner.”

“I know that. But… we’re not in her culture. We’re not…” Evan gazed at John, seeing the anguish in his eyes and hating that he’d put that there. He’d never wanted to hurt John. Never.

But John huffed out half a laugh. “Sometimes I think her culture’s the only one that makes sense. Love who you want. Don’t get trapped behind… walls that deny you that right.” His eyes drifted down Evan’s body and back up, and he lurched suddenly to his feet, crossing to the balcony door and staring out at the night, the whiskey bottle dangling from his hand. “You want her, she wants you. She loves you. And I… I think… you love her, too. So…”

“I do,” Evan said softly. “You’ve known that for ages, John. But I told you, I told you that I wasn’t going to muscle in. I told you I wasn’t going to take what was yours.”

John swung back to face him. “You didn’t. Evan, you haven’t. You’ve sat back and… and watched as Adi and I… as we… And you haven’t done anything to… to get in the way. But the thing is, you’re you. How could she not fall in love with you?” He swung away at that confession, some stray brain cell belatedly reminding him that this was his XO he was talking to. He took another swig from the bottle, hoping to drown it. “I’m not saying I’d be so sanguine if… if she was wanting Kavanagh or… Quinten or… well, anyone else, really. But…” He turned back to face Evan. “You’re a good guy, Lorne. You’re… you’re a good guy.” He shrugged his shoulders, his hand rising unbidden to rub the back of his neck. “She’s chosen well. She’s chosen wisely. I can… share her with… you.” He lifted his eyes to meet Evan’s, swallowing at the depth of feeling he saw there, the unexpected joy.

“Thank you,” Evan said softly, his voice rich with suppressed emotion. Hearing John calling him a good guy had done very strange things to his insides. He could feel warmth filling him up, spreading out from his heart with the knowledge that the man he loved saw him as a good person.

John smiled – a little shakily; knowing that Adi would have Evan's close personal company when he couldn’t had put a bit of a dampener on the evening – but it was definitely a smile. “Don’t touch her face,” he suddenly said, and Evan’s expression turned to confusion.

“Don’t touch her face?”

John shook his head. He started across the room towards Lorne. “Stand up,” he said as he drew close.

Evan complied, and then forced himself to stay still as John moved right into his personal space.

“You can’t touch her face,” John repeated softly. With his eyes locked to Evan’s, John slowly reached his hand out and gently cupped Evan’s cheek, feeling the soft warmth radiating against his palm as his thumb slowly stroked across Evan’s cheekbone. “You can’t do this, you can’t touch her cheeks… like this.” His hand rested there, against Evan’s skin for another few moments before sliding down to wrap warmly about his neck. “Necks are okay, and she can handle shoulders...” His hand followed his words, gliding down to settle on Evan’s shoulder, his fingertips caressing the skin peeking out of his t-shirt before moving back up to his cheek. “But don’t touch her face.”

John’s eyes suddenly flared and he dropped his hand, swallowing loudly as he took a step back and turned away.

“Why not?” Evan asked, his voice rasping, his body responding to the intimacy of John’s hand on his face, John’s fingers skimming over the sensitive skin on his neck.

“Because the Bola Kai used to hold her face, so they could… control her… when they…” His voice died away as his shoulders hunched, hands forming into fists as the familiar burst of anger raced through him at the thought of Adi being taken that way.

“Right,” Evan said softly, steeling himself not to react. “Thanks for telling me. I’ll be careful.”

John swung to face him. “I know you will. I know you’ll take good care of her. And if we’re… if we’re going to be… sharing her, then you… need to know this stuff. She… she’s really good for any touch that’s not got… intimate intent, but she’s still really wary with anything that comes with sexual overtones. So—”

“She told me that,” Evan said, cutting him off. “She said she just… she wants to cuddle with me, in the bed. But she was pretty clear that she’s not offering anything more than… well, um, kissing, really.”

John nodded slowly, trying not to think of Evan kissing Adi. “And you’re okay with that?”

Evan snorted. “Yes! I’m okay with anything that lets me be closer to her. But I’m worried about you. I don’t want to… upset you, John.”

John gave him a half-smile. “Adi wants this. I want Adi to be happy. She’ll be happier if she… if she has both of us in her… bonding group.” He paused, averting his gaze. “And it’s not like this came out of the blue. It’s been pretty obvious for a long while that… that we were going to get to this point. Teyla told me… oh, ages ago… the night you and Adi were trapped on Capeliga… she told me then that I had to accept the idea of sharing Adi, because she’s so full of love and she… she’s never had to deny what she feels.” His lifted his eyes, managing another half-smile. “It’s okay. You can… you can… be with her. You’re not… upsetting me.” It wasn’t entirely true, but John wanted Adi to be happy, and he couldn’t have Evan himself, but maybe Evan didn’t need to be as lonely as he had been. Seeing them together was going to hurt, but that wasn’t Evan’s fault.

Evan was holding John’s eyes, trying to see into his soul. He desperately wanted what Adi was offering, but he equally desperately didn’t want to hurt John. There was pain there, in John’s eyes, but also acceptance, and respect. “You’re pretty drunk for someone who’s not upset,” he said.

John laughed. Turning, he crossed to the bed and carefully set the bottle down on the bedside table, fumbling a little as he pushed the cork-stopper back in. “I just wanted a different reason for why she’d be choosing your bed tonight, not mine.”

“Oh. Yeah...okay. But I, um, I told her I needed to talk to you, clear this with you, before I… before we… before anything…”

“Yup, got it,” John said, gazing at him. “It’s okay, Evan. I know you’ll… I know you’ll… love her, as she deserves.” His eyes were pools of emotion and Evan swallowed.

“I will. I do.”

John smiled at him. “Good.” His eyes flicked away, and then suddenly returned as something else occurred to him. “Oh! Her quarters… your quarters… they need to be just for platonic touch, so she knows she’s safe there. But… you can… use the suite.” He shrugged. “You did decorate it for her, after all.”

Evan’s eyes widened, remembering that first night and how hard it had been to get to sleep with all the images his mind had conjured up of John and Adi, naked together in the suite he’d helped prepare for her. And now it seemed that he might get to be the one who was in that bed with Adi.

John was watching him closely and his smile turned mischievous. “If she offers you a foot massage, you should definitely accept. Just remember that you… well, that you’ll have to…” he blushed rosily, then stumbled out, “to… take care of yourself… in the bathroom, afterwards.”

Evan blushed too, a rich red. “Jesus! Okay. I’ll, um, I’ll wait to see if she offers that.”

John smirked at him, enjoying his embarrassment. “I’ll get Jeannie to send more massage oil. We’re gonna need it.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Lorne laughed.

“Right, okay, you do that.”

There didn’t seem to be anything more to say and, after a few moments of silence, Evan prepared to leave. But then he paused. “I still kinda feel like I’m doing the wrong thing here, John. Like I’m wrecking what you’ve got with her.”

Evan’s tone was full of worry, and John gazed at him for a long moment before slowly pacing across the room. He reached out and rested his hands on Evan’s shoulders, his thumbs softly caressing his neck. “You’re not doing anything wrong, Evan,” he said softly, trying not to drown in Evan’s eyes. “This is what Adi wants. She wants both of us. But if you need my blessing… well, you’ve got it.” He swayed forward a little but caught himself in time, and instead squeezed Evan’s shoulders and pulled back, stepping away from the temptation.

Evan was looking at him with a mix of emotions showing on his face, and John didn’t want to gaze too closely in case he saw something that would make withdrawing from this conversation even harder. He turned his head away, shuffling a bit further back. “You should go now. I think I’d better take a shower and sober up a bit, just in case the Wraith come calling.”

“Okay, yeah,” Evan said. “I’ll, um… I can let Adi know you’re drunk, if you like?”

John nodded and headed for the bathroom and Evan slipped out the door, his heart warm in his chest.

A smile crept over his face as he walked slowly up the hall towards Adi’s quarters. He couldn’t believe he was going to be able to accept what she was offering, that he was finally going to get to be with her as more than just a friend. He huffed out a relieved and joyful breath, the conversation playing back over in his mind… John saying he was willing to share Adi and that he thought Evan was a good guy. John giving Evan his blessing! And… Evan wasn’t sure what the hell had been going on with John caressing his face and his shoulders and his neck, but it had felt fucking amazing.

Goosebumps broke out over Evan’s skin at the remembered sensations of John’s fingers on his body, touching him so intimately. He paused outside Adi’s door, but then suddenly walked on, detouring sharply at the next intersection, heading for his own quarters. He didn’t want to take this level of arousal near Adi, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t know how he felt about John. If he told her, she’d probably be happy that he’d had the chance to feel John’s hands on his skin.

They’d talked about it a bit, what it would mean for him to be in a bonding group with two people whom he loved, but only one he could acknowledge. Adi had understood they couldn’t all be together at once, but he was willing to bet his last dollar that she wouldn’t mind in the slightest that his body reacted this way to John, or that he needed just a few minutes to take care of himself before going back to find her. After all, if he might end up naked in her bed, kissing her, he needed to be sure his body was safe to be around.

And with such a noble reason behind his sudden need for privacy, Evan sped up to a jog, feeling his blood surging into his groin as the memories of John’s fingers touching him played through his mind, his whole body infused with happiness over the twin joys this evening had brought him.

***** *****

John woke to pounding on his door and an answering pounding in his head. He moaned a little as he rolled over, gazing resentfully at whoever the fuck that was out there. Thinking the door open, he glared balefully as Ronon bounced into the room.

“C’mon, Sheppard! You’re late! Get up!”

John grunted and Ronon’s expression faltered. “You okay?” he asked, coming closer.

“Yeah,” John rasped, flailing blindly for the glass of water he kept by the bed.

Ronon spotted the two small white tablets John had most sensibly laid on his bedside table before he’d started on the whiskey, and a knowing smile crossed his face. “Huh!” he said. “Guess you’re not running today then, old man.” He grinned evilly before jogging back out the door, and John swallowed the tablets and fell back onto his pillow, his arm lying limply across his face to block out the sunlight coming in through his curtains.

Christ! What the hell had possessed him last night? Why had he drunk so much? Surely he could’ve just taken the edge off? His mind flittered back over the events of the evening and he frowned a little as he remembered Lorne coming to visit. God! He hoped he hadn’t done anything stupid. He’d been pretty sloshed – not that it took all that much alcohol to affect him these days, given how rarely he drank at all.

Groaning slightly, he sat himself up, waiting until his stomach had settled before heading into the bathroom to relieve the internal pressure. That dealt with, John debated over having a shower or catching another hour of sleep. The mossy feeling in his mouth decided it for him, and he stood under the hot water for a good half hour, just letting it cascade over him as his mind slowly started to reboot.

Eventually he thought the water off and towelled himself dry, then slowly dressed, hunting down his aviators and slipping them on. He could keep the lighting in his room down, but the mess hall would be bathed in sunshine, and his stomach was desperately asking for some grease. An MRE just wasn’t going to cut it today.

John sent a silent thank you into the ether for the benefits of his rarely used Command privilege as the Corporal on KP agreed to make him a burger and chips. He sauntered carefully across to the team table – currently empty – and slumped down into his seat, gazing out at the ocean through his tinted lenses, wondering if Adi and Lorne were still curled up around each other. That thought hurt, but the pain was muted, and he wasn’t sure if it was the hangover or the fact that he’d more or less made his peace with the idea of sharing. At least he knew nothing more than cuddling – and maybe a little kissing – was going on.

He was lucky Adi had chosen Lorne, actually, because he could really get behind that choice. The thought brought a smile to his face, and the Corporal delivering his breakfast flushed, thinking the smile was for her.

Ronon and Teyla joined him shortly thereafter, Ronon teasing him mercilessly while Teyla offered up Athosian remedies for overindulgence. Neither asked for the cause of his reckless actions.

He was just finishing up his burger when Rodney appeared, excitement rolling off him as his hands gestured in all directions, his mouth running at a mile a minute.

“Rodney! Calm down,” John said, wincing. “And please… can you try that again about a hundred decibels lower?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Rodney asked, staring at him. “Why are you wearing sunglasses?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. What were you saying?”

“No, something’s wrong.” Rodney took a half-step backwards as if worried about a contagion. He stared at John intently.

John sighed. “I might have had a little too much to drink last night, okay? It’s not significant. Tell me what’s got you all excited.”

Rodney spent another few seconds assessing his team leader’s condition, but then the excitement of his find was back, and he dropped into the seat opposite John and started in again on the explanation. “Zelenka and I were trolling the Ancient database, hunting for the final ingredient for the personal shields, because I had an idea about the chemical makeup of the ore we need. We spent all night looking, and… we found it!” He beamed at John, almost jiggling in place in sheer joy.

“Wow! That’s great, buddy,” John said, his stomach starting to settle with the burger and chips on board. “So, where is it?”

“They mined it from an asteroid belt.”

John blinked, slowly processing that information.

“Will you take the Avenger, then?” Teyla asked, but Rodney shook his head.

“No, no. That’s not possible. Look, the Avenger’s great for getting from A to B, but it’s useless if we need to pick something up along the way. It’s got no capacity to carry jumpers, and it’s got no beaming tech at all – although clearly it would be far more useful if it did, and I’ve got a couple of ideas about that—”

“Rodney!” John said firmly, his fuzzy mind not wanting to have to deal with a McKay-divergence right then. “Stay on target, buddy.”

“Oh, right, right. Um, there’s a planet fairly close by – M4X-873. We can go through their space gate and then the asteroid field is approximately fourteen hours flight time from there.”

“Fourteen hours one way?” John clarified, not really fancying twenty-eight hours stuck in a jumper. “And how do you propose to collect the ore from the asteroids? Because, in case you haven’t noticed, the jumpers don’t have beaming tech either.”

“No, well, I had some ideas about that. We either land on one of the asteroids, put on anti-grav suits and go for a walk – by which I mean you not me – or else we fire a drone into one and blow it into small chunks, and then seal the bulkhead door, open the back hatch, and reverse into the debris field, scooping up some of the fragments.” Rodney grinned at his own brilliance, still unable to sit still.

John was trying to work out how to – tactfully – point out all the flaws in Rodney’s plan when there was a stir across the mess and he realised that Adi had arrived, signalling the start of the morning hug-in.

Rodney leapt from his seat, not willing to miss out on the free hugs on offer, and Teyla turned a little and drew John into her Athosian embrace. “You do not need to respond to Rodney’s enthusiasm right now, John. We can discuss this at the Senior Staff Meeting.”

“Oh, joy,” John said, regretting once again his stupidity in drinking so much.

Teyla laughed gently as she stood. Then she paused for a moment, gazing at John. “I hope all is well with you. It is not like you to drink, John.”

It wasn’t quite a question, but John answered anyway. “I’m fine, Teyla. It was just a once-off.”

She nodded and departed, and John’s eyes instantly sought Adi out, wondering if she’d be sticking with Lorne this morning, or doing her usual ‘hug everyone’ thing. He couldn’t actually see Evan anywhere, but Adi looked relaxed and carefree, moving amongst her usual friends with a smile, so he sat back and watched the bonhomie in the hall, all of his people happily engaging in platonic gestures of friendship. It was a good tradition Adi had started. The morale in the city was much higher since Adi’s arrival, and that was due in large part to the morning hug-ins.

He was still gazing mindlessly at the joyful thrum of people when Adi appeared in front of him. John pushed his chair back and stood, suddenly feeling uncertain of how to act.

“Good morning, Colonel,” Adi said, smiling brightly as she stepped in close to him. He lifted his arms and she sank in against his body, wrapping herself around him just as she usually did. John drew her in a little closer, resting his head against the top of her head, incredibly grateful that she hadn’t ignored him today.

Adi drew back and smiled lovingly up at him. “I had intended to return to you last night, John,” she said softly, “but Evan let me know that it would not be wise. Will you be available this evening? I know you have a mission scheduled for tomorrow, and I would very much like to spend some time together before you leave, if that is possible?”

“Yes. Yeah. Definitely,” John said, relief swamping him. “I’d like that. I’m sorry about... last night. I thought…”

Adi smiled sweetly. “It does not matter. I slept very well alone in my room, John.”

John’s brow furrowed. “You didn’t…?”

Adi shook her head. “I am aware of your… reticence, John, for this step. I know it is… uncomfortable for you, and I will do what I can to gentle my way forward. So no, Evan and I shared a loving embrace, but then I slept alone as you were not available to me.”

“Oh,” John said, feeling guilty at having inadvertently thwarted Adi’s evening plans. His eyes flicked around the mess to see who was close enough to hear them, but everyone was still immersed in the joie de vivre, so he turned his attention back to Adi. “That was really, um, thoughtful, but, um, look…” He huffed out an embarrassed breath. “I, um, I worked out some things… last night. And… I’m okay with it, Adi. I told Evan that, when he, um… when he came to… see me. I told him I didn’t mind. And I meant it.” He held her eyes, willing her to see the truth.

Adi’s eyes were flickering oddly up and down his body and he realised she was reading his aura. “What do you see? Am I telling the truth?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, her voice full of joyful disbelief. “You are. John! This is… Oh!” She sank back in against his chest, her arms cradling him with relief and happiness, all mixed together. “Thank you,” she whispered, and John leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against the top of her head.

“I want you to be happy, Adi. And I… I want him to be happy too.”

Adi nodded against his chest, relishing the exquisite feel of John’s aura blending with her own, and knowing that he truly was all right with her expanding her bonding group to include Evan. The euphoria was addicting, but eventually she drew back and gazed up at him, all her emotions showing on her face. “Thank you, John. You have given me a great gift.”

John nodded bemusedly, the smile on Adi’s face doing funny things to his heart. And then he realised that the hug-in was dying down and he stepped back, flushing slightly.

Adi accepted his withdrawal, relishing the fact that he’d hugged her so fiercely. She had felt a great deal of sorrow when Evan had told her John had resorted to alcohol to deal with her declarations of the evening before, but it seemed that he had found a degree of peace with their new situation.

Seeing Teyla and Ronon heading back to the table, she stepped a little closer and spoke softly. “Will you come by my quarters this evening when you are finished with your duties, John? We can walk to the suite together.”

John nodded and Adi beamed at him before moving towards the reforming food line.

John sat back down feeling far more settled in his skin than he’d expected. He’d thought he was telling Adi the truth, but it was still nice to know that it really was the truth, and that he wasn’t deluding himself. Settling himself to eat the last of his chips, he waited for Rodney to reappear with his breakfast so he could steal one of his jellos.

***** *****

John was a few minutes early to the Senior Staff Meeting. It had seemed pointless to turn his computer on with only enough time to process a couple of emails, so instead he’d grabbed his notes and headed for the conference room. He was slouching in his chair, doodling a little fighter jet, when Lorne came striding in through the doors.

John’s breath caught in his throat as the sudden memory of touching Lorne’s face rose sharply to the forefront of his mind. His eyes widened in shock and he stared at Lorne, a flush washing across his face.

Evan’s gait faltered for a moment, and then he walked across and poured himself a coffee, taking his usual seat. “Good morning, Colonel,” he said a little uncertainly. “Are you feeling okay today?”

John nodded, then wished he hadn’t. He lifted his hand up to press against his forehead. “Um, I um… Look, I was… um, a bit…”

Evan grinned. “You don’t need to tell me you were drunk, Sir. It was very obvious.”

John swallowed. “Yeah, about that. Do we need to, um… you know, talk about anything that, uh… happened?”

Evan’s grin widened. “Not at all, Sir. It’s nice to know you feel able to touch people when you’re drunk, though. I’d assumed you were a hands-off all the time kinda guy.”

John felt the blush spreading down his neck and under his collar, and Evan burst out laughing.

He quietened after just a few moments though. “It’s okay, Sir. No harm done. Unless…” His smile dropped away. “Do you remember what we talked about?”

John nodded. “Yeah. At least, I’m pretty sure I do.”

“So, you really are okay with…” Lorne grimaced slightly, his eyes flicking to the open doors, but no-one was coming through them.

“Yeah,” John responded. “I am. I meant that. I’m okay with… that. With you and… Adi.”

Lorne smiled beatifically at him, and John’s heart did a tiny flip at the sheer joy radiating from him.

“Thank you, Sir.”

John returned the smile, unable to stop himself. Evan looked so incredibly happy.

The moment was disrupted as Rodney came hurtling into the room, Elizabeth and Carson in his wake. Within moments, everyone else had arrived and Elizabeth called the meeting to order.

They dealt with the standard agenda points, but the entire time, Rodney was wriggling in his seat, and eventually Elizabeth turned to him in exasperation. “Rodney?”

“Finally!” Rodney activated the view screen on the far wall, thinking the lights off to make the image brighter. And then he was off, describing in greater depth than he had at breakfast – but with no less enthusiasm – his hunt with Zelenka in the night hours for the missing mineral needed to make the shields, and their successful discovery of the very asteroid belt that harboured the ore they needed.

“John?” Elizabeth swung towards him when Rodney had finished outlining the retrieval mission he was clearly expecting to be greenlit for that afternoon. “Thoughts?”

“Well, the blast-an-asteroid-to-smithereens plan has some pretty huge issues with it, namely that the jumper’s going to get bashed around a bit as we try to pick up some of the pieces, and I’m really not keen on that.”

Rodney opened his mouth to respond, but John raised his hand, stopping him as he continued, “The spacewalk has more merit, but only if we find an asteroid of an appropriate size to land on. And remember what happened to the Millenium Falcon in similar circumstances.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “I think the jumper’s scanning capabilities are good enough to prevent us flying into the maw of an exogorth, Colonel.”

John smirked. “Hopefully. But look, can we just wait for the Daedalus? It’ll be here in about a week, right? They could get to this place far more quickly than we can, and they can beam a small asteroid aboard without us having to risk damage to the jumper, or take a spacewalk.” Or deal with a hangover in the confined space of a jumper, but John kept that thought to himself. 

“There’s very little risk with a spacewalk, Sheppard," Rodney said immediately. "You’ve been trained for it, and we’ve got the space suits. The internal bulkhead door ensures the front of the jumper can stay pressurised while you open the back, and I can stay with the jumper to ensure it doesn’t just float away and leave you there. We can even tether you to the jumper to make sure we don’t lose you. I’m not seeing a downside. And this way, when the Daedalus gets here, we’ll already have done a full scan of the mineral densities in the asteroid field, we’ll have assayed a sample, and we can tell them exactly what we require. Then they can go and fetch us a big enough asteroid to give us the quantities needed to start production on the personal shields.”

John slumped back in his chair. Clearly Rodney wasn’t going to let this go. “We already have a mission planned for tomorrow, and this will impact that.”

“Oh, yes,” Rodney snarked, “to check in with the Frillians, or whoever it is, and collect some more not-wheat or not-barley or whatever! That’s nowhere near as important as this. Another team can do that. Send Lorne or Stackhorse or… the new guy.”

“But you haven’t had any sleep overnight, Rodney,” John said in a last-ditch effort to get Rodney to drop it.

“So? I can sleep in the jumper. I’ve done it before. Fourteen-hour flight,” he sing-songed, bouncing from side to side and making John feel nauseous.

“Fine,” John said, just to get him to stop.

“Are you up for it, Colonel?” Elizabeth asked. She’d noticed he wasn’t looking particularly well this morning, but her comment made him sit up straight and smirk at her.

“I’m fine, Elizabeth.” No way was he admitting to his drinking session the night before. She’d want to know what had led to it, and he wasn’t prepared to discuss that with anyone.

Elizabeth eyed him carefully and then nodded. “Very well. You have a go.”

Chapter Text

John slouched in the jumper’s pilot seat, staring out the front window at the vastness of space, still four hours from their destination. He was feeling marginally better than he had been when they’d set off at least. He’d managed a three-hour nap between the end of the Senior Staff meeting and their departure for the mission, even slotting in a quick visit to the greenhouse to find Adi and apologise for having to cancel on their plans for that night. She’d been her usual accepting self, smiling at him and wishing him well, and he’d felt like an asshole when he’d asked if she was going to sleep with Lorne since John would be out of the city overnight.

John huffed to himself as he remembered her expression morphing to tender understanding as she’d placed her hand on his forearm and nodded at him. He thought he’d borne it pretty well. It was one thing to be okay with sharing her, but apparently it was another thing entirely to walk away, knowing full well she’d be curled up naked with an equally naked Evan… right about now, actually. It must be close to 2300hrs in Atlantis, so surely they’d be in bed.

He expected a spike of pain at that realisation, but beyond a muted feeling of distress that maybe Evan would be better at holding Adi through the night than he was, there was no jealousy biting at his guts. Huh! Perhaps he really was getting used to this idea.

Teyla appeared at his side, gracefully settling herself into the co-pilot’s seat.

“McKay still out of it?” John asked, and Teyla nodded.

“I had not realised he was capable of sleeping for such a length of time,” she said, and John laughed.

“I think the slight vibration from the jumper’s engines must calm some part of his mind. He’s always slept well in jumpers. And Ronon’s not here to poke him.”

“Indeed,” Teyla responded, smiling at John’s joke. Trapping Ronon in a jumper for twenty-eight hours with nothing for him to fight had been an obviously poor choice. She had welcomed his decision to remain behind in Atlantis. 

She settled herself a little more comfortably in the chair and let her eyes wander over John’s face and body, taking in his relaxed posture, the casual set to his shoulders. “You seem very calm, John,” she eventually said, “and yet… something led you to drink a great deal of alcohol last night.”

John darted a look at her, his shoulders tensing slightly. But then he sighed. It wasn’t as if Teyla hadn’t been a part of this the entire way, and even if she wasn’t going to directly ask, he should probably tell her. “Adi decided to bond with Lorne, too. So… that happened. Last night.”

“Ah,” Teyla responded, her eyes watching him closely. “I would have expected you to be… in great distress today, if, as you say, Adi has finally taken the step to increase the size of her bonding group. Are you… feeling comfortable with her decision?”

John huffed out a breath, remembering his complete emotional meltdown with Teyla the night Lorne and Adi had been trapped on Capeliga. “Yeah, I actually am. She, um, she let me know before she did anything, which is what we’d agreed. And he… he came to ask my… um, my permission. So. You know. It’s… it’s a bit weird, but she… she still wants me, she just… she wants Lorne, too.” He shrugged, knowing Teyla would read what she needed to from his expression and his body language.

“I am pleased for you, John,” Teyla said. “To love openly, to seek only the best for a partner, it is the most fulfilling way to live. You are blessed to have found Adi.”

John swallowed and nodded, a light flush washing across his face. He was. He knew he was. “Well, you warned me it would happen and that I’d have to get used to it, and I… well, I think I have.”

“Have what?” Rodney’s voice – a little raspy with sleep – emerged from the back half of the jumper, and John jumped.

“Jesus, McKay! Way to barge into a conversation! How long have you been awake?”

“Um, about twelve point three seconds, I think,” Rodney said, stumbling forward and slumping down into the chair behind Teyla. He yawned wildly, then blinked blearily out the front console at the stars. “Hmph. Not there yet then?”

“About three and a half hours still to go,” John said, bringing up the HUD.

Rodney nodded, then yawned again. “Well, that was a very restful sleep. A little over ten hours.”

“More so for you than us, I believe,” Teyla said pointedly. “You snore very loudly.”

“Hey! It’s not fair to judge a man for things he does when he’s asleep,” Rodney responded, looking somewhat put upon.

“I am glad to see that you have learned that lesson now, Rodney,” she said, smiling as she stood up. “I will bring us each an MRE.”

“I’ll have the Meatballs with gravy,” Rodney said immediately.

“John?” Teyla asked.

“Ah, pot roast with veg if there is one, thanks.”

Teyla nodded and moved to the back of the jumper and Rodney relocated to the pilot’s seat, reaching for his laptop and flicking it on. “So,” he said, “what were you and Teyla talking about? Some warning she’d given you?”

John stiffened slightly. “Uh, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, Sheppard. What did Teyla warn you about?”

John rolled his eyes, but luckily Teyla reappeared with the MREs at that moment, and the next few minutes were busy.

But apparently Rodney had decided that John was hiding something from him, and the moment they’d finished eating, he returned to his question. “So, are you going to tell me what Teyla said, or is this something that’s too private for me to know?” His tone was all bluster, but with a strong undercurrent of hurt, and John was no match for it.

He sighed. “Look, I guess I need to tell you anyway, so that you won’t get the wrong idea – like you did before.” He looked pointedly at Rodney, remembering all the problems Rodney’s needling had caused, but Rodney just waved away the remark, making a ‘get on with it’ gesture. “Right, well, it’s um, it’s about Adi. She’s, uh… she’s decided to expand her bonding group.”

Rodney’s eyebrows rose. “What does that mean? ‘Expand her bonding group’. Is she having sex with more people than just you?”

“Yeah,” John said, deciding not to remind Rodney of Adi’s intimacy issues. It really wasn’t anyone’s business but Adi’s – and his and Evan’s of course. That thought actually made him smile, the realisation that he and Evan were both working together to help Adi through this felt pretty all right. He’d struggled with the thought of being responsible for such a huge task, and he remembered at the beginning being worried that Adi would seek Evan out if John turned her down, but now he felt nothing but relief. Although… what if Evan was so good at helping Adi that she decided to spend every evening at the suite with him, both of them naked, the warm golden glow from the candles lighting her skin, the warmth of her body heating Evan’s groin—

His thoughts were interrupted by Rodney swatting him.

“What?” John asked, swatting back at Rodney.

“I asked you who it was? Is it Lorne?”

John nodded. “Yep. She asked Lorne to join her bonding group.”

Rodney’s eyes grew even wider. “Does that mean you’re having sex with Lorne?” he asked incredulously.

John turned his head and sent a steely gaze Rodney’s way. “No, Rodney. I am not having sex with a man under my command.” He rolled his eyes, carefully keeping his desire to do just that off his face. “Look, Adi’s just going to… move between us, I guess. Spend some nights with me and some with Lorne. She knows she can’t have us both there at the same time because of DADT and fraternisation regs.”

Rodney leaned forward. “Would you want to, if you could?” he asked curiously, and John mentally kicked himself for the wording he’d used.

“I’m not talking about this, Rodney,” he said curtly. “I just wanted you to know that Adi and Lorne have an… ‘understanding’ as my mother would’ve said. So if you see her hugging him for longer than your sensibilities like, or if they’re hanging out together more often, or… whatever… then, that’s why. And yes, I know about it and I’m okay with it.” He gestured sharply towards Rodney’s laptop. “Are you getting any readings from the asteroid belt yet?”

“Oh right,” Rodney said, immediately diverted to the prospect of finding the mineral they needed. Who knew what else they might come across out here – perhaps the mineral the Ancients used in their tech to make everything mind activated…  

With Rodney’s attention well and truly caught, John leaned smugly back in his chair, happy to have distracted him from John’s personal life. 

***** *****

Evan lay in the darkness of Adi’s bed, her soft warmth nestled against his side, feeling such a tumult of emotions it was hard to untangle them all. Just the reality of having Adi asleep against him was incredible. Her gentle breaths were ruffling his chest hair and he smiled to himself, beyond grateful to finally be here.

His mind ran back over the evening they’d spent together – dinner with his team, and then the base-wide board-games night before coming back here to Adi’s quarters. They’d stood out on her balcony, staring up at the endless stars for a while, their bodies entwined, before Adi had invited him to stay the night.

His heart swelled with love for her as he lay there, breathing in his CO’s scent from the pillow and feeling cherished all around. He was so happy that John had accepted him into the bonding group, and utterly ecstatic to finally have Adi in his arms.

She hadn’t kissed him yet, explaining that she wanted to grow very comfortable with him first, to feel their auras blending seamlessly and to know total safety in his company, and he was okay with that. Just being allowed to sleep with her when John was out of the city was incredible, and so much more than he’d ever had before.

But it was knowing that Adi’s feelings were engaged that brought the tears to his eyes. For so long he'd thought his love was unrequited, one-sided, that Adi simply tolerated him loving her. She’d never been nasty about it at all, offering up everything she could – in friendship. But he’d wanted more than that for so long, and now he had it.

He was, as Adi had carefully described, at the beginning of a marathon that would end with John being the first to be truly intimate with her. She’d been extremely open about where she and John had progressed to with their intimacy, and he now knew far more than he probably should about his Commanding Officer’s sex life, but it was oddly endearing to know that John had that softer side to him, that he’d been willing to withdraw to the bathroom to jerk himself off alone in order to keep Adi feeling safe. Evan was more than willing to do the same. Anything… anything Adi wanted or needed, if it meant he got to cradle her in his arms.

His mind flicked back to the first time he’d been allowed to do this – that night on Capeliga when the gate wouldn’t engage to Atlantis and they’d had to stay over. Adi had been so scared of the marines, but so brave in inviting Evan into her bed to hold her safely through the night. And he had. It’d been incredible. Even if the waking had been a disaster – what with the gate alarm sounding so loudly in his ear and making him jerk against Adi’s body and all that had led to.

The next time he’d had the chance to sleep with her had been the night that John had found him there and assumed they were cheating on him. Adi had been exhausted, a pale reflection of her usual vivacity, lying limp and wan in his arms, and the night had ended with tears and heartache in the bottom of his shower. Not a good memory. But tonight, tonight he had Adi’s love, and John’s blessing – and his respect – and no expectation of anyone waking him before he was ready to wake. And he had Adi, lying warm and trusting in his arms, breathing softly and evenly as she slept against his body, knowing that she was safe with him because he would never hurt her.

Evan’s eyes slowly closed as he felt sleep pulling at him. He drew one last deep breath, Adi’s and John’s scents mingling together as he sank into darkness.

***** *****

The asteroid belt was well in sight as John started to slow the jumper down. He wanted to be very sure of what they were getting into before he started to weave his way through the huge balls of rock. And it wasn’t even the big ones that represented the danger, it was the small ones which were much harder to spot, and therefore harder to avoid.

“Can you tell anything from here, Rodney?” he asked.

Rodney snorted, his head in his laptop. “Of course I can! I’m running composition scans on the asteroids closer to the edge of the field. We know that in the Milky Way, asteroids are predominantly metallic with more than an eighty percent iron content and the remainder a mix of various precious metals.” He paused, glancing up for a moment. “It’s true that some are half-silicate and half-metallic, but the majority are iron-based. I’m scanning to see what the make-up is here. If iron’s present, the asteroids will have some degree of magnetism to them which might mean the jumper holds on a bit better because the alloy used on the exterior of the jumpers has a mild magnetic structure. Hmm…”

John glanced over. “Was that a good ‘hmm’?”

“What?” Rodney asked, lifting his head. “Oh yes, that’s a good ‘hmm’. All the asteroids at this edge of the field have the mineral we need, just in varying concentrations. Let me try to find…” His voice trailed away and John sighed, accepting that he’d just need to hover here until McKay was ready to share with the class.

“Okay,” Rodney eventually said. His eyes were flicking between the laptop screen and the view out of the front window. “There,” he said, pointing. “If we head that way, there’s a strong concentration of the mineral in the smaller asteroids. We can land on that big one, and you should be able to grab some of the smaller ones as they come past. There’s a good cluster nearby that seems to be heading that way.”

John stared at him. “Are you serious? You want me to ‘grab them’ as they come past?”

“Yes,” Rodney said, raising his chin and staring back. “The asteroids all move at different speeds and they all have slightly different orbits. It’s not one whirligig where everything’s stable in relation to everything else, Sheppard. They each travel at their own pace; some have more elliptical orbits, some have more circular… Look, do you want a full lecture on the mechanics of asteroid fields or would you like to just get us a few samples so we can head home?”

John stared for a moment longer, then accepted his fate and angled the jumper in towards the asteroid Rodney had pointed to. It looked to be about thirty yards long and maybe fifteen yards across, but Rodney had been right about the cluster of smaller ones nearby and John flinched as the sounds of asteroids striking the jumper reverberated through the hull. “I’m not loving this idea, McKay.”

“Well, just land us already, and we can get this done,” Rodney said, starting to look a little uncertain himself.

“Fine,” John said, speeding up a bit in the hope that they could get what they’d come for before the jumper was so dented it started to cause them problems.

“Slow down,” Rodney squawked as they rapidly approached the asteroid’s surface. “It doesn’t have the sort of gravity you’re used to! If you come in too fast, you’re just going to bounce off again!”

John rolled his eyes. “I’m not an idiot, McKay!” But he did slow the jumper. Bouncing off sounded fun until you saw the number of asteroids they were likely to hit as they ricocheted.

With Rodney babbling hysterically about gravitational pull, deceleration speeds, and the likelihood of either bouncing into the path of that huge asteroid up ahead or crumpling the nose of the jumper into the surface and exposing them all to instant hard vacuum, John managed to bring the jumper down to land very softly.

It didn’t feel stable though. According to the HUD, the asteroid wasn’t just moving in its orbit, it was also rotating ever so slightly as it went, and the jumper felt as if it were sliding a little, even with John focussing his mind on holding it still.  

Rodney had gone quiet now and John glanced over at him seeing his white-fingered grip on the edge of his laptop.

“What?” John asked.

“I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so hair-raising!” Rodney snarked, but John could hear the fear beneath the acerbic remark.

“We’re safe enough, Rodney. We’re down. But let’s get this done, because I’m not much enjoying the constant strikes on the hull.”

“Perhaps we should just go,” Rodney said, his voice small, and John knew it had taken a lot for him to make this suggestion.

“Nah, we’ve come all this way. Let’s get a few chunks of rock and then we can head out.”

They made the switch from John to Rodney, John explaining the need to try and hold the jumper steady where she rested, and then John headed into the back half of the jumper with Teyla.

They’d decided that Teyla would suit up too, just in case she was needed. She would remain in the jumper while John walked out onto the asteroid itself, but she would be there and able to intervene, should anything go wrong. 

It wasn’t John’s first time in a space suit, but it was his first time walking on the surface of an asteroid. Despite the urgency to get the job done and get the jumper to a safe distance, he found himself grinning as he donned the various parts of the suit.

“Ready?” he asked Teyla through the in-suit radio.

“I am,” Teyla responded.

John pulled the end of the tether rope from his belt and handed it to her, and she hooked it to the inside of the jumper, ensuring it was well attached. They did not want to lose him, or have to try a mid-air rescue if he were to float away.

“Okay, Rodney, we’re ready,” John said through the radio, and Rodney swung around to look at them.

“Right, well… Good luck then,” he said, and John could see the nervous energy, the uncertainty in his gaze.

“It’ll be fine, McKay. See you on the other side.” John gave him a half-salute and then thought the bulkhead door closed. Moments later, the back half of the jumper began to depressurise.

It was cumbersome moving in the suit, but John walked slowly to the back of the jumper and thought the hatch open. He waited until it was fully down, then carefully trod down the ramp, his mind grappling with the fact that he was taking a spacewalk on an asteroid in a galaxy far from home.

The asteroid belt was beautiful from out here, all these rocks – from tiny to gargantuan, all floating together, moving at different paces, bumping against each other—

“Colonel?”

John startled. “Yeah, sorry Teyla. It’s just… Wow!”

“Yes, even from in here. But you must hurry.”

“Yeah, got it.” John trod off the ramp, looking around for the chance to catch one of the smaller asteroids that was passing by. There was another loud thud as the jumper was struck again, and John turned his head that way, seeing no real damage on the hull. The jumpers must be sturdier than he’d thought.

A baseball-sized asteroid came close and he reached his hand out and caught it. It weighed nothing and he had to actually look to ensure he had it safely in his hand. He turned back towards the jumper as another one floated past him. His other hand came up and plucked it from its trajectory and John grinned. This was awesome. He was catching asteroids with his hands.

He walked slowly back up the ramp and passed the asteroids to Teyla who tucked them into the webbing to keep them from floating away as John ventured back out onto the surface. He brought back five baseball-sized ones in total, and then a basketball-sized one that still weighed barely anything because the gravity was so minuscule.

He was at the extent of his tether rope, getting ready to catch one the size of a yoga ball, when Rodney’s voice sounded in his ear.

“Sheppard?”

He sounded scared and John responded immediately. “What’s up?”

“One of the asteroids is coming straight at us. A big one! It’s going to hit!”

John had time for only a moment of terror.

His heart lurched into his throat as the asteroid struck and he was thrown, his magnetic boots pulling free from the surface with the force of the impact. He was flung away, surging helplessly through space, the tether rope – his only contact with the jumper – tugging sharply at his waist. Twisting himself around with difficulty, John saw the jumper tumbling over and over.

“Get it level, Rodney!” he shouted, watching as another asteroid came bumbling towards them. It hit the side of the jumper and bounced away and John could do nothing as the tether cable dragged him along behind the swirling, twirling jumper.

“McKay! McKay!”

“I’m here,” Rodney answered. “I’ve broken my arm, I think. Oh God.”

“Get back in the pilot seat and steady her. The inertial dampeners—"

“They’re off-line. I think the asteroid must have struck something. I’m trying…”

Teyla suddenly appeared at the back of the jumper, one hand holding herself stable as the other wrapped around the tether rope. She was doing a flicking action, wrapping the rope around her wrist to slowly haul John in towards the jumper, and, despite the potential danger to his hand, John started to do the same, pulling himself closer and closer.

There were asteroids of all sizes moving around him in their own orbits, and he watched as a basketball-sized one came straight at him. He tried to move away but he had no purchase at all, no ability to affect his own trajectory.

He winced as it struck him – hard – in the ribs, thrusting him sideways as a much smaller asteroid slammed into his faceplate. An ominous crack appeared instantly, and John’s heart stuttered, watching with horror as the crack lengthened.

Teyla was pulling him in as quickly as she could and John tried to help, but the pain on that side was impeding his ability to use his arm. Another asteroid skimmed past his leg, bumping him out of the way, and he could see another coming towards him... and then finally he had his feet on the ramp. His boots connected and he panted out a few, very relieved, breaths as he ducked out of the path of the oncoming danger.

Teyla was still holding the tether line, and John moved along the ramp as best he could, thinking the hatch closed the moment he was inside.

The jumper was still rolling, and he clung to the wall on the opposite side from Teyla, trying to get his breathing under control, trying to get a lock on the pain from his ribs. He was really regretting eating that dessert from his MRE, too. He normally had a good stomach for motion sickness but this was something else entirely.

The back of the jumper was rapidly repressurising and the moment it was safe to do so, John pulled his gloves off, and, hooking his arm through the webbing, used both hands to remove the helmet, grimacing at the sharp stab of pain from his side. “You okay Teyla?” he asked and she nodded, having also started to strip away the suit.

“I hit my head,” she said, “but I do not believe it is anything to worry about.”

John nodded as he stripped off his boots and dragged himself forward, thinking the bulkhead door open. Rodney was lying beneath the front console, holding on for dear life with one hand, his legs wrapped around the pedestal of the co-pilot’s chair, as he tried to find a workaround for the inertial dampeners.

John pulled himself over to the pilot’s seat and wrapped his hands around the joystick, thinking at the jumper as hard as he could. The barrel rolling slowed and then stopped, and the jumper came back onto an even keel.

“Oh, thank God!” Rodney exclaimed. “I thought I was going to lose my lunch.” He crawled out from beneath the console. “What did you do? How did you fix it?”

John shrugged uncertainly, grimacing as his ribs objected to the movement. “I think I brought the secondary systems online.”

There was a loud bang as another asteroid struck them, and John winced. “Sorry baby. Let’s get you, and us, out of here.” He brought up the HUD, looking for a path out, then slowly brought the jumper around and headed for the edge of the asteroid belt. “I hope it was worth it, Rodney.”

Rodney didn’t look as though he thought it had been, but after a few moments he said, “Yes. I’m sure we’ll benefit from having retrieved the samples now.” He was holding his arm across his body, cradling his wrist, and John spared him a glance.

“You okay?”

“I think it’s broken. When the asteroid hit us, I was flung across the cabin.”

Teyla appeared at Rodney’s side, the first aid box in hand, and started to check out the injury.

“So how did the asteroid get so close without you seeing it?” John asked. He made sure to keep his tone even, no accusation there at all, and was rewarded by seeing some of the tension in Rodney’s shoulders loosening.

“It barrelled into another one of the big ones and was flung in our direction. I should’ve anticipated they’d hit each other and change their trajectories, but I was too busy looking at the readouts on the laptop, and then suddenly the alarms were all blaring and it was too late.”

“Well,” John drawled, “guess that’s what happens when you play in an asteroid belt.”

“I do not believe it is broken, Rodney,” Teyla said from her position crouched at his side. “I think perhaps you have sprained it. I have splinted it, regardless. Carson can scan you and decide what else can be done, but for now, here are some painkillers.”

Rodney took them, accepting the bottle of water Teyla handed him, and slumped back into his seat. “Well, that was all quite dramatic.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement,” John said. “Hey, can I get some of those painkillers, Teyla?”

Teyla came immediately to John’s side. “I saw the asteroid strike your side, Colonel. Please lift your shirt so that I may see.”

John did as asked, letting Teyla examine his ribs as he kept the jumper heading out of danger.

“There is some impressive bruising already visible, but I do not believe you have broken any ribs. Possibly this one is cracked.” She pushed a little and John hissed. “I will strap it for you.” She passed him some tablets as she set to work.

John dry-swallowed the painkillers, his attention on the HUD where he was concentrating on finding the least asteroid-ridden path. The adrenaline was starting to recede as the sharp tug of fear from finding himself being dragged through space by one tiny piece of rope dissipated in the face of his survival. A grin slowly took over his face and he turned to Rodney. “That was actually pretty cool, McKay. I was catching asteroids with my hands!”

And then he and Rodney were talking over each other, pulling out movie references and reliving arcade game moments and Teyla tidied away the first aid kit, took some painkillers for her headache, and settled into the chair behind Rodney, watching the two men bantering back and forth, a lightly contented smile on her face.

***** *****

Thirteen hours later, John was once again sitting in the pilot’s seat. He’d managed a five-hour nap while Rodney had taken the controls, but once he’d woken, he couldn’t fall asleep again, worried about getting them all safely home.

Rodney was happy to sit with his nose glued to his laptop, reviewing all the data he’d collected from the asteroid field, and Teyla had taken the opportunity to stretch out on the bench seats and catch up on her own sleep, which left John with ample time to himself to just think.

And of course, he was thinking about Adi and Evan. It was coming up on 1800hrs in Atlantis again now, the night after he’d left, which meant that they would’ve already spent their first night together, woken in the same bed that morning, probably had breakfast together… maybe even met for lunch.

John sighed, wondering if he was always going to be this aware of what Adi and Evan were doing together. Perhaps it was a good thing that Adi had offered to keep him apprised of their progress. His own imagination was probably dreaming up far more things than they were actually doing. After all, he’d warned Adi of the need for discretion, and although he hadn’t given Lorne the same warning, Evan worked for the same fucked-up organisation that John did. He already knew the score. He would’ve realised for himself that they needed to keep this thing under wraps.

That thought brought John’s mind to the fact that he was now in a threesome – although, not a real threesome, as much as he wished it could be. But the thing was, he’d sucked at every relationship he’d ever tried, failing dismally at his one attempt at marriage, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to go with this relationship, especially given how unusual it was. But then he remembered Adi accepting his limitations again and again, never judging him, never troubled by things that would have had an Earth woman running for the hills, and he knew that he would be okay with this, because Adi would have it no other way.

He was smiling as M4X-873 finally came into view, the stargate hanging in solitary splendour above the planet. As he typed in the address to dial Atlantis, he could feel the pull of seeing Adi… and Evan… of knowing that they were both okay. He knew it was dangerous to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it. He loved them both, and now he was in a relationship that included them both – even if it was more of a line than a circle.

And with that thought, John pointed the jumper at the event horizon, and slid them back home to Atlantis.

***** *****

Carson had put John under the scanner before declaring he had cracked a rib – but just the one – along with bruising several others. But there was nothing that would keep him down for long. Some ibuprofen had taken care of most of the pain for now, and Carson had happily sent him on his way.  

Adi was waiting in the corridor outside the infirmary when John emerged. She smiled at him beatifically and John felt his heart turnover as he smiled back. God, it was good to see her. He reached for her hand and tugged her into an unused room to the side, desperately wanting to hug her.

Adi had seen the dissonance in his aura over his wounded side, though, and she reached out her hand. “You have been injured, John,” she said, her tone conveying her worry.

“Yeah, just a cracked rib and some bruising. An asteroid hit me!” His tone was light-hearted and Adi looked up at him with wide eyes.

“An asteroid hit you? Gracious. Well, I can heal your aura damage now, John, but do you wish me also to reduce the bruising or try to heal the crack?”

John nodded eagerly and Adi’s brow furrowed slightly as her hands moved against the invisible energy field swirling about John’s torso. Using the energy of the injured person had made this much easier on her, but it was still draining to do. After a few minutes, though, she smiled up at him. “I have done what I can, John. It is not fully healed, of course, but it is less… damaged.”

John grinned and held out his arms and Adi moved eagerly into his embrace, closing her eyes as she felt John’s warmth against her body, felt their auras mingling in pleasurable accord. “I have missed you, John,” she whispered, and felt John’s arms tighten about her.

“Did you? I mean, I know you, um… you had Evan, but…”

Adi smiled against John’s chest. “You are important, too.” She breathed in deeply, enjoying the scent of John’s body. Even though he had not yet washed, the stale smell of his body odour was not offensive to her. It was true that the sweat-smell of random men still distressed her with the memories it conjured of the Bola Kai, but John’s scent had ceased to trouble her months ago.

John’s tummy rumbled and Adi drew back, laughing up at him. “I see that I am delaying your dinner,” she said, her eyes sparkling.

“I don’t mind,” John said, but his eyes were searching hers. “How was it… with… with Lorne?” he asked, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

Adi drew him gently down to sit on the bench at the side of the room. “We slept, John, nothing more. I have not kissed him yet. I wish to feel a strong degree of comfort in his presence first. To grow used to a platonic sleeping arrangement before venturing into anything more.”

John felt the smile growing on his face, his spirits rising sharply. “Really?”

Adi nodded. “Yes. I greatly enjoyed the comfort of sleeping in Evan’s embrace, John, and the joy of waking to find him with me.” She smiled, remembering with fondness the look in Evan’s eyes when she’d finally woken that morning to find herself cradled against his heart.

John was watching her expression, his heart wavering between joy that she hadn’t kissed Evan yet, and despair at the look of love on her face as she thought of him. “Are you… are you going to sleep with him again tonight?”

Adi shook her head. “I missed you, John. If you are not too tired from your mission, or too sore, would you feel able to spend some time together in our suite this evening?”

John nodded vigorously. “Yeah. Yep. Sure. No probs.”

Adi laughed softly. “I am very pleased to have you home again, John. It is a great joy to me to know that you are safely back.” She leaned up and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek. “When you have finished your duties for the evening, I will be waiting in my quarters for you. We can walk together.”

“I’m actually finished now,” John said. “Elizabeth’s put us on stand down until 0900hrs tomorrow. Rodney sprained his wrist and Teyla ended up with a bump on the head which is bothering her, so Carson said they need to rest. So, I–I’m free now.” He looked at her for a moment, seeing the slight wilt in her stance. “Are you okay, though? You did just use up some of your energy to heal me.”

Adi smiled up at him. “I will be fine. I shall use your aura to replenish mine tonight. But first, you must surely eat, John, or you will collapse! Come, I shall sit with you while you have some dinner.”

John nodded and headed for the door, immediately noticing the improvement in his injured side from Adi’s intervention.

He held her back as he opened the door, looking carefully up and down the hallway. He’d been okay with allowing their relationship to show a little, but now that Lorne was in the mix he was feeling a little less sure about letting people see they were together. There was no one in the corridor though, so he beckoned Adi out and they headed for the transporter.

The mess was still quite full of people finishing up their meals. Adi had eaten earlier, but she selected another dessert and sat with John out on the balcony – just as she had done with Corporal Hendrix on many occasions – listening to the tale of his asteroid adventure. It sounded quite dramatic, and certainly scary, but the fact that he was here telling her the story meant she didn’t need to worry. John had come back to her, healthy and whole, and that was all that mattered. She laughed at his boyish enthusiasm for catching asteroids in his hands, and then shared the story of her own days, in return.

John had eaten as quickly as he could, and now he stood, gesturing for Adi to accompany him as he bussed his tray and walked along the corridor towards the transporter. It opened as they approached, disgorging a couple of scientists who ignored them completely, deeply involved in a heated exchange.

They stepped into the transporter, exiting in their special tower as John reached for Adi’s hand, lacing their fingers together as they climbed the stairs up to the top level. He could feel the delicacy of her small bones, interweaving with his own longer fingers, and a surge of tenderness ran through him. She was so fragile and yet so incredibly strong, charting her own course through the myriad trials that beset her path. He realised it was a privilege to be walking beside her in this way.

They slipped through the doors to the suite, and John immediately picked up the lighter. He loved seeing the candlelight reflecting off Adi’s skin. Adi was smiling as she took the first candle and used it to light others, moving into the bedroom to finish up.

And then John was there, with her, and she turned to him. “Will you kiss me, John?” she asked softly and John was more than happy to oblige. He rested his hand on her shoulder and leaned slowly down, pressing his lips against hers and feeling the familiar thrum of pleasure kicking in throughout his body.

Adi’s lips parted, and John slid his tongue inside, finding hers and caressing it as Adi sank into the kiss in much the same way as she usually sank into a hug. When he’d reached the point of fighting himself not to step closer and pull Adi to him, John drew back from the kiss. He was hard as rock in his pants, and he wasn’t sure Adi was going to be comfortable with that.

But she was actually looking down at his crotch. “Let us undress, John,” she said softly, her eyes never wavering. “I would like to try touching you higher up your legs tonight, while you bring yourself to completion.”

A shudder ran through John’s body, but he was already reaching for his buttons. He stripped off in record time and then stood there, watching as Adi finished folding her clothes, his cock standing to attention.

Adi turned back to him and smiled a little tremulously. “Oh, you are already… fully…”

“Yeah,” John said. “I missed you.”

Adi sighed happily. “I missed you too, John. As wonderful as it was to lie in Evan’s loving embrace, I still missed having you at my side. I know that we cannot all be together, but I hope one day that we will be able to lie in one bed, all of us there with one another, sleeping with our skin touching each other’s in gentle companionship.”

John nodded, unexpected tears prickling in his eyes. “Me too,” he rasped. “Not yet, but hopefully one day.”

Adi hopped onto the bed and, settling herself in the middle, patted John’s usual spot. “Come, lie with me?”

John very happily laid down on the bed next to Adi as she curled up against his side, idly caressing his shoulder. “Evan’s body is very different to yours, John. He has less chest hair…” Adi slid her hands down John’s torso, finding and starting to play with one of his nipples. “His shoulder muscles are bigger – I had to move my head a little to find a comfortable position. His nipples are darker than yours...”

“You touched his nipples?” John asked, gasping lightly as Adi squeezed her fingers around his own.

“No. Well… yes, because my hand was resting on his chest as I prepared to sleep. But I did not fondle them, John, not as I am doing with you.” Her hand slid across to his other nipple, and John swallowed heavily.

“Not sure I’m gonna last very long, Adi,” he rasped, and Adi pressed a gentle kiss against his shoulder.

“Very well, I shall move back.” But she didn’t want to lose the contact with John, and so, although she slid herself to the side, mostly out of reaching distance, she kept one hand on his stomach.

“Adi? Are you staying there? On the bed? Because I kind of need to…” John gestured towards his erection which was thrusting up proudly from the thatch of dark hairs at his crotch.

“I would like to try, John,” Adi said a little uncertainly. She had touched John before when he was masturbating, but usually she was at the end of the bed, not beside him. She’d never managed to lie next to him while he did this. Maybe having Evan’s love as well as John’s, having Evan’s calming presence in her bed the night before, was giving her the courage to do this. She lifted her eyes to John’s, her hand resting on his stomach. “Please John, would you let me try?”

John wasn’t going to say no. Adi’s hand on his stomach, her presence on the bed, the degree of trust those actions implied, all of it was doing very odd things to his insides, and he reached his hand up to his mouth and licked a stripe up his palm, before dropping it back down and wrapping it around his cock. God! He was so hard. And there was Adi’s hand, resting against his stomach, a solidly warm patch on his body. Adi was touching his stomach while he was jerking himself off. John’s hand sped up, then sped up again, his legs falling open as his eyes closed, all his attention turning inwards as the sparks of liquid gold surged through his body, centering on Adi’s touch, her presence at his side so close to his rock-hard cock, his hand whipping up and down, gripping his shaft firmly as he brought himself to the cusp—

And then Adi’s hand twitched against his skin, and John fell over the edge, plummeting in free fall as the orgasm swept through him, white light flickering behind his eyes, his whole body surging in delight as the cum streaked out over his chest and torso, his cock continuing to pulse for long seconds.

Slowly John came back to himself. His hand was still wrapped around his slowly softening cock, and—

Ohh! Adi’s hand was still resting against his stomach.

God! She’d stayed. She’d stayed through it all. John cracked his eyes open, and there she was, staring down at her hand, an odd expression on her face. When he lifted his head up to look, there was cum splattered across the back of her hand, white streaks against the pink of her skin.

“Adi?” he asked softly, “you okay?”

Adi nodded. “Yes,” she said, but her voice was whisper quiet. “It was very beautiful, John. But… could you…”

“Yeah, of course.” John pulled the sheet up from the side of the bed and brought it down over Adi’s hand, wiping the cum away until her hand was quite clean. “Let me just wash up,” he said, sliding carefully out of the bed.

Adi was still just sitting there, so John headed for the bathroom and gave himself a thorough clean off, then he wet the corner of the towel, added a little soap, and took it back to the bedroom with him.

Adi’s eyes were sparkling with unshed tears, and John’s heart clenched in his chest at the thought that he’d scared her, but she was smiling at him as she reached for the towel. She carefully washed her hand off, wiping the soap away when she was done, then brought it to his nose. “Does it still smell, John?”

John inhaled, but the towel had done the job, and he shook his head.

Adi smiled tremulously and then sank forward onto his chest, clinging to him. “I did it, John. I sat beside you and I… I touched you, while you came. I was there with you.” She was trembling, and John tightened his arm about her.

“You did, Adi. You were so brave.” He kissed the top of her head, and Adi levered herself up, until she was resting above him looking down.

“I would like to kiss you, John. Would you like that too?”

“Yes,” John rasped out, swallowing heavily as Adi lowered herself down until her nipples were brushing against his chest hair and her mouth was pressing against his. He lifted his hand very carefully and rested it on her shoulder, losing himself in the supple warmth of her mouth. She was very good at kissing.

Eventually the need for oxygen caused Adi to straighten. She gazed down at him, such love in her eyes that John was momentarily lost in the feeling of being so cared about.

“Come under the covers with me?” he said softly, clearing his throat.

Adi manoeuvred herself around until she was snuggled up against his side, the blankets pulled up around their shoulders. “I love you, John,” she said, her voice rich with emotion, and John tightened his arms about her.

“I love you too, Adi,” he said, and then there was silence as Adi sighed happily, letting her body soften as she slipped slowly into sleep, knowing herself to be safe in his arms.

John lay there for a long while, basking in the knowledge that he hadn’t lost her to Evan. He knew now that he could do this. He could share her. The thought of Adi sleeping platonically in Evan’s bed the following night – because, with his rib practically healed by Adi’s magic touch, he’d be off-world again with Sergeant Timmons’ team – actually didn’t bother him in the slightest. If anything, he felt a measure of peace to know that neither Adi nor Evan would be alone.

He was smiling as he drifted off to sleep, content in the knowledge that Adi still wanted him, she still loved him, and, with Adi sharing so many casual details about Evan’s body and what she was doing with him, he truly felt like he was part of a threesome. And that was all right with him.

***** EPILOGUE *****

Two nights later, Adi lay on the pier after dinner, her nest of blankets all set up and Evan snuggled at her side. Rodney had told her there would be a meteor shower every night for the next week with the peak of activity happening in three nights’ time – which was when the official Atlantis viewing party was to be held. But Adi hadn’t wanted to wait.

John had been busy all day since his return mid-morning from his off-world mission. He’d told her he needed to support Sergeant Timmons, their new Team Leader, on a more difficult trading mission, but he’d returned not long before lunch time, only to be sucked into a round of meetings with Elizabeth and various of the scientists which had seemed never-ending.

But Evan had been free and more than willing to lie with her on the pier and stare upwards at the vast canopy of stars. They’d been talking in desultory fashion, their eyes on the heavens above as they enjoyed each other’s close and personal company, when footsteps came to Adi’s ears.

“Adi, I’m in your room,” John called out as he approached, but then faltered as Adi dropped the forcefield and he realised she wasn’t alone out here. “Oh, ah, um…”

Evan started to scramble out of the blankets, and John was turning to leave—

Adi grabbed for Evan’s arm as she called out, “John, please, will you join us?” She turned to Evan, “Please, stay.”

“I can’t, Adi,” Evan said, just as John said, “Lorne was here first.”

Adi’s brow furrowed a little. “Rodney has told me there will be many ‘shooting stars’ tonight. So far, Evan and I have counted six. I would very much like for both of you to stay with me and enjoy the beauty of this phenomenon. It is considered very lucky on my world to see a ‘shooting star’ as you call them.”

Adi could feel the tension in Evan’s arm, and John was looking very undecided. “Please,” she said. “There is no reason you cannot both stay with me for the next hour. You sat on either side of me at the bonfire on Capeliga, both of you touching me. You swam with me between you in the rockpool, both holding one of my hands in front of more than a dozen people. Please, this is no different. We are simply watching for shooting stars. I shall lie in the middle, and you can lie one to either side of me.”

Evan’s face was averted but John was looking straight at her. “Adi…”

“Please, John. The Daedalus will arrive tomorrow and I will be unable to spend time with either of you while they are here. And it is not suspicious for you both to be here with me. I could just as easily have asked Matthew to come and lie with Evan and I. Or asked you both to leave and encouraged Corporal Hendrix and Miko to come and share this experience with me. Do you not see? There is nothing here for anyone to be bothered by. I am simply blending my aura with compatible people.”

John drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was a very tempting offer. He glanced at Lorne, seeing the uncertainty in his stance, his head turned away from the conversation. Clearly the decision was up to him. “Well,” he drawled, “if you’re going to threaten to replace me with Hendrix…”

Adi laughed. “He is very sweet, and a good friend. I am certain he would accept an invitation to watch the stars with me.”

“So am I,” John muttered, but he was walking towards them again. “Lie down then,” he said, and Adi released her grip on Evan’s arm and slid back into her nest.

Evan lifted his eyes to John’s, and John nodded at him, so Evan snuggled back in where he’d been.

John paused to pull his boots off, tucking them under the blankets at the end of the nest, then slipped in on Adi’s other side. She was lying on her back, her head resting on a rolled-up blanket, staring upwards at the stars.

“There!” she cried, lifting her arm to point. “See, even the universe wants you both to lie here with me tonight.” She chuckled softly and both men joined in. Reached out, she clasped hands with her two bond mates. Their auras had blended with her own the moment they’d laid down, and the feeling was quite intoxicating... so much energy, so much resonance, she could live in this moment forever.

They lay quietly for several minutes, all three of them gazing up at the endless heavens, each lost in their own thoughts.

Adi was sinking into the pleasure of the evening but she could still feel some lingering tension in John’s body where it was pressed against her side, so she decided that a little conversation might help to distract him from the situation. “John, tell me something good that happened in your day.”

“Oh!” John responded, sounding very excited. “I nearly took Teyla out when we were sparring.”

Adi laughed softly. “And did she then increase her effort a little and ‘take you out’ in return?”

“Yeah,” John said self-deprecatingly. “She put me on the mat five times in a row. But, hey! That doesn’t diminish the fact that I almost took her out.”

Adi could feel Evan’s body jiggling beside her, as if he were laughing silently to himself. She turned her head towards him. “Do you also spar with Teyla, Evan?”

“Oh, I have done. A few times. But I don’t get as much free time as my boss does… I’m too busy doing his paperwork,” Evan deadpanned.

“Hey!” John objected. “That was a bit pointed.”

Evan laughed. “Well, the truth sometimes hurts, Sir.”

“Just for that I’m going to dump all the stuff in my intray on you. That’ll be your punishment for being rude.”

“How is that any different to normal?” Evan asked, laughing again, and after a few moments John joined in.

Adi took a deep bracing breath and sighed it out contentedly. “This is nice.” She gazed up at the heavens. “Tell me, which ones of these stars have you visited?”

“I wouldn’t know,” John responded. “You’d have to ask Rodney that. He could probably tell you.”

“And you, Evan? Do you know?”

“No. I’ve been to lots more planets than just here, though. I was with the SGC for about three years and went to lots of planets. Although I spent the entire last year on the Unas mining planet.”

“I have not heard of unas. What do you make from that?” Adi asked, and Evan laughed.

“The Unas were the indigenous life forms – a sort of humanoid lizard. They, um, they didn’t much like us on the planet at the beginning and bad shit went down. But Dr Jackson taught me some of their language and I ended up as sort of a liaison between the military and the Unas. But then they needed ATAs to come and relieve the siege of Atlantis.”

“Siege of Atlantis?”

So then John told her of the siege, and Evan filled in the events from his side.

Adi listened avidly to this tale of things that had happened before her time in Atlantis, relishing this opportunity to have both John and Evan with her together, one on either side of her, holding her hands so intimately. Eventually the story wound down and she yawned. Evan stiffened slightly and unlaced their fingers, sitting up.

“You’re getting tired, Adi. I’ll leave you guys to it.”

“No,” said John. “You were here first.”

Evan looked at him in surprise, then shook his head. “It’s fine, Sir. I had Adi all to myself last night while you were off-world. And, after all, I’ve got plenty of paperwork to keep me occupied.”

John laughed at that, and Adi rose to her feet and drew Evan into a hug, a beautiful warm, full body hug, the kind Adi specialised in. Evan wrapped his arms around her, and held her close against his heart, wishing he could just stay, but he knew it wasn’t possible. These precious few hours lying here with both Adi and John were memories that he’d cherish forever, and he knew he’d have Adi in his arms again soon enough. Tonight was John’s turn, and he was okay with that.

As Evan drew back from the embrace, Adi leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek. “Good night, Evan. I have greatly enjoyed spending this evening in your company.”

“Me too,” he whispered, knowing he couldn’t yet kiss her back although he was looking forward to the time when he could.

As he headed off, Adi slid back down into the blankets, curling herself against John’s side as he slipped his arm around her and drew her close. “I would like to sleep out here tonight, John. The shooting stars are very beautiful.”

“They are,” John said, dropping a gentle kiss against the top of her head. He was feeling very relaxed, a deep-seated contentment imbuing his soul from the evening spent with the two people he loved.

Adi snuggled closer, and John pulled the blanket a little higher. If this was going to be his life from now on, he could definitely get used to it. He hadn’t really realised that sharing her like this was going to bring him closer to Evan, but of course it had to, because Adi wasn’t used to having to hide what she felt for people, and she wanted everyone she loved nearby. Smiling at that thought, John settled himself back, his eyes on the heavens above.

Every now and again a star shot across the sky and he felt Adi’s soft intake of breath, but then she stopped reacting and he knew she’d fallen asleep. He cuddled a little closer, breathing in her scent and feeling her warmth resting against his heart... He was smiling as he drifted happily off to sleep.

***** HERE ENDS PART 4 *****