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English
Series:
Part 2 of Jrwi crack fics
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Published:
2023-12-10
Updated:
2025-11-05
Words:
1,169
Chapters:
4/?
Comments:
41
Kudos:
30
Bookmarks:
2
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222

SOLD TO PRIME DEFENDERS?????

Summary:

y/n gets her life turned upside down when her drug addict mom sells her to the prime defenders for drug money. will she just drag the team down or will she be what ends up saving her idols lives?

i hate myself for writing this.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: misery (buisness)

Chapter Text

YOu take a deep breath as you put your (h/c) hair into a messy bun, glancing around at your spotless room with your (e/c) orbs. you know by the time that you get home its gonna be a mess of drugs and alcohol (gross!) because of youre alcoholic mom.

'Y/N!!!!!!!!!" your mom wails. "COME DO CRACK COCAINE WITH ME." SHE SCreeches

"sorry mom. i dont do drugs like you" you sigh

"YOU ARE JUST LIKE YOURE BITCH ASS LOSER FREAK IMPOTENT IDIOT WENCH DUMBASS ASSHOLE PRICL WHORE ASS STUPID BOZO SHITHEAD BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN LOOKIN ASS BASTARD DWEEB JERK FREAK NERD SCUM WIMPY LITTLE IDIOT BABY KUMQUAT LOOKIN ASS LAME ASS CLOWN LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER WHO COULDNT FUCK YOUR MOTHER RIGHT BECAUSE HES IMPOTENT CRUSTY ASS SAD AND FRAIL CUNT FATHER.' she screams

"mom you know that i dont like when you talk about dad like that..." you say sadly

she mixes up crack cocaine into her moonshine absynthe mixtyre and drinks it, ignoting you. you hate when she does this.

shes high now so you leabe for school, stairing at your raggedy ass lookin converse that you scribbled prime defenders catchphrases on with sharpie. they look totally cool. (based on my real pd converse XDDD)

your totally hot friend Nada with his lushious raven hair and golden eyes approaches you. "girl oh my god have you herd?" he exclaims hottly. you cant help but imagine if you werent incredibly in love with the prime defenders then youd probably beg to be his girlfriend

you bat your eyelashes "heard what?" you ask curiously

"PRIME DEFENDERS is coming to OUR TOWN"

you *GASP*

Chapter 2: (american) idiot

Summary:

gasp! omg prime defenders

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

you wake up in the nurses office. Nada is by your side. they are so caring. literally the best friend or person you know. hes not paying attention to you, just texting someone on his phone. he looks so hot. a mix of serious and concentrated but soft in a strange way.

he unfortunately notices you and he looks annoyed. "you passed out, dumbass" he huffs

"i must be sick... i could have sworn you told me that prime defenders was coming to our town."

"i did say that. you fangirled yourself so hard you passed out." he huffs

"o. m. g. WHAT???" you screech

"you are going to make me go deaf." he huffs

"when? why?" you gasp out

"well. we do have a high profile crime ring constantly plaguing our city. i mean you literally get mugged every time you leave the house. they quite literally stopped threatening you because its so routine." he huffs

"why do you keep huffing?" you ask

"try it and youll understand" he huffs

"fine." you huff

"understand now" he huffs

"woah." you huff

"anyway. yeah they are coming to get rid of that probably." he says

"maybe they might rescue me from getting mugged at some point" you swoon

"or maybe theyll beat the shit out of you because you are so chill with the criminals" h e laughs

"nooo let me enjoy the fantasyyyy" you wine

'never" he laughs

you both head to class but you cant pay attention to the useless stupid things your loser teacher (who works part time at a vape shop (ew!!))

you keep doodling in your notebook. little pictures of the wisperer and dc and virion and the mysterious fourth purp from that brief stint of them being the purps

your asshole teacher tells you to pay attention but its not lile you will actually use the quadradic formula in real life. ugh!

after class you get mugged and head to your part time joob at a rock climbing karate gun range place and as you deal with the stupid ass little shits who dont know anything other than ipad and scream, you fantasize about your ideal life as one of the prime defenders

Notes:

im gonna keep this up for a while this is such a stupid thing to make part of my routine

I have a silly little Prime Defenders discord if anyone is looking to chat about prime defenders with other PD fans! Check it out if you are interested! idk why you would be after reading this tho lmao

https://discord.com/invite/9HNkX8UUqZ

Chapter 3: normal people ( things)

Summary:

Jeepers

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

you wake up for anothther day. you can smell yhe crack cocaine your mother is doing downstairs. more potent than usual

hexk, you can even smell a Little bit of Weed Marijuana too.

you throw your hair into a messy bun and go downstairs only to find all of your things put knto boxes???

you look at your mother and she laughs while smoking a crack cocaine joint weed marijuana black heroin tar cigarette

"mom? what's this???" you ask, trembling.

"it's your shit! I sold you to some smokin hot guys for DRUGS" she cackles

you sob and run out the door only to fall into the arms of a very muscular DAKOTA COLE????

"Pizza" he says in his hunky, strong, voice

you look at your shirt. its now covered in pizza.

you cry and you sob then you pass out.

when you wanke uo you are on a couch but it doesn't smell like drugs and alcohol and piss and shittty perfume

you sit up and your big e/c orbs meet a pair od icy blue orbs, like limpid tears.

they stare into your SOUL.

you SCREAM and punch him

william wisp DIES.

"oh."

you look at his corpse.

his soul leaves his body and he lookd down at it.

"jeepers." he shakes his head and suddenly his body goes intangible and falls through the floor.

you can hear a distant *"MY PIZZAAAAAAA"* as dead william wisp ghost follows his corpse through the floor.

this is gonna be a WEIRD situation you can tell.

Notes:

no regrets.

If you are into prime defenders the coolest podcast ever, join my pd discord! It's not for my fics it's for prime defenders in general! So many cool people! Woah!

https://discord.com/invite/CN4XsD89n7

Chapter 4: Thats (What you get)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

lt has been a week since you wer sold by the prine defenders and dakota stands at your door watching as you do your nails to match yout limpid (e/c) orbs

"has anyone ever told you that your eyes look like... pizza?"

you scorf. "is that all you can think about bad boy of rhe prime defenders Dakota Cole?" you cough. he smiles badly.

william falls out of the ceiling and lands ON TOP OF YOU.

"HAY-" YOu screech, trying yo push william off but your hsnds just keep going through him because he is a ghost. he spbs.

"BAD BOY DAKOTA COLE GET HIM OFF OF ME!"

Dakota laughs and the elf one walks in the room and gravs william by the waist. "ghostknife nation" and they kiss.

"wow. homosexuality is like. cooler than pizza" dakota remarks

you look down at your tits/dicks and they are GONE

le frog blows up the wall and in his hands are YOUR TITS/DICK

" HONHONHON! ZE TITS/dick ARE MINE! " He froggily cackles.

" my tits/DICK..." you croak

the prime defenders assemble!

william and the elf one stop making out and Vincent pulls out a knife from williams corpse.

"ow. william says" william says

Dakota shouts "BAD BOY PIZZA KICK!"and he launches at le frog.

you and eilliam sob

vinny bites thr frog and dakota kicks and blue wisp tears shoot at le frog from williams sobbing

le frog DIES.

Viktor gently gands your tits/dick back. " wow thanks" you sob as you put them back

" cowabunga" Vincenzo nods

you pass out from fright

Notes:

This is for Hito and Hito's friends who messaged me about how I need to update this

I have a silly little pd discord if anyone reads this and decides "yeah I trust this totally mentally sound person to form a community space for people who also like this campaign!"

https://discord.gg/UApmbTcTg

Notes:

i have so many regrets

I have a silly little Prime Defenders discord if anyone is looking to chat about prime defenders with other PD fans! Check it out if you are interested! idk why you would be after reading this tho lmao

https://discord.com/invite/9HNkX8UUqZ

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