Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There are nights when the war comes back to Shikamaru in bits and pieces, in broken fragments scattered in his restless dreams, in the phantom ache of scars long healed. 

In those moments, Shikamaru sits upright on his futon, forces himself to count to hundred or stare at a stained spot on the wall till his head is empty and vacant. Most of the time, it works – the noise in his head settling into a comfortable hum and his eyes growing weary once more. 

But tonight, the moon is at its largest and it is impossible to escape the image of another moon – this one hauntingly red and terrifyingly huge. He rubs his eyes and stifles a yawn. Though sleep lingers within him, the thought of lying back down and letting his own mind entrap him is too heavy to bare. 

After a few minutes, he’s standing outside his clan’s compound, bundled up in his longcoat, pointedly ignoring the sky above. It’s chilly enough that goosebumps litter on his skin and yet he opts against putting on his gloves. He needs the feeling – the sharp coldness of the wind – to keep him grounded. 

He walks the streets of Konoha which are breathtakingly silent and so devoid of human presence that it’s almost disturbing. It’s late enough that even nightly partygoers have retreated to their homes and still early enough that no one has woken up to start their day. 

Shikamaru soaks in the quiet of his village, soaks in the sights of well-built roads and newly painted buildings and neatly arranged fences. The reconstruction efforts had been highly successful and walking through the remakes of Konoha jolts him with the realisation that this is the beginning of peace. That this quiet – so enveloping yet comforting – marks the start of a new era, a new way of life that only comes with the raw hope any war leaves in its wake. They’re all survivors now but their hope is to live. 

He slowly makes his way to the eastern part of the village, towards the Naka River. He climbs up the small hill, his steps guided by the streetlights, his breath puffing. 

At the top, he comes to a halt. There, seated on the stone bench is a figure he instantly recognises. Naruto sits leaning back, his head raised as he stares upwards. His hands are deeply pocketed in his thick coat and his ankles are crossed. He doesn’t move an inch even as Shikamaru quietly approaches him and takes a seat beside him. 

“Couldn’t sleep, either?” Shikamaru asks, his tone subdued. That’s the thing about nights – even whispers are resounding, every word coming out amplified. In such quietness, there is no need to raise one’s voice. 

Naruto shakes his head, still looking up, “I guess I slept too much during the day. What about you? Nightmares, again?” 

“Something of the sort,” Shikamaru pauses then, remembering. “Kakashi said you were going to Amegakure next week. Is it a mission?” 

“No,” Naruto meets his gaze, smiling in a way that isn’t exactly right. “I’m going to visit Jiraiya. It’s his birth anniversary next Monday, you know?” 

Shikamaru blinks, the words registering at a jarringly slow pace. In the three years since the Sannin’s demise, he hadn’t really thought about where the grave was located. “Oh,” he utters, sympathy flooding him. “I thought he was buried here–” 

“I wanted that,” Naruto admits, sighing. “I asked Tsunade and the toads to let him rest in Konoha. But you know what that old pervert’s will said? He wanted to be buried in the battlefield that he died on. He wanted a warrior’s tombstone and a glory-filled epitaph. So now I have to hike all the way to Ame to meet him. Ridiculous, isn’t it?” 

Shikamaru smiles crookedly, “Yeah. Jiraiya-san was a free spirit, wasn’t he?”

Naruto cracks a smile, too, this one genuine and right, “That’s being generous. He was a downright crazy bastard but maybe that’s why we got along so well.” 

“Is he...” Shikamaru frowns lightly, eyeing his sandals as he asks, “Is he the real reason you’re awake tonight?” 

Naruto waits a beat before responding, “Nothing goes unnoticed by you, does it?” he huffs but there’s a lightness to his voice. “Yes. That old perverted coot is making life difficult for me, even from beyond the grave. I wish I could pummel his ghost or something.” 

“I can get you in touch with a shaman if you’d like,” Shikamaru offers, slumping against the backrest, the soothing coolness seeping into his bones. 

“Didn’t take you for the superstitious type,” Naruto raises a brow. 

“I’m not,” Shikamaru shrugs. “But Ino loves expanding her list of whacky people she’s met and apparently, a shaman is one of them.” 

“Is that why she insisted on visiting that one fake-moustache collector?” 

“Precisely,” Shikamaru nods, mirth in his eyes. “They meet each other for tea every week now.” 

“I thought we both had pretty weird coping mechanisms but no,” Naruto tries to contain his laugh but fails, “Ino’s worse than both of us combined.” 

“I think you’re coping pretty well,” Shikamaru says and he means it. Compared to his excessive smoking and over-indulgence in shogi and obsessiveness with his father’s journal – Naruto’s everyday demeanor is remarkably well-adjusted. “You help boost alot of people’s spirits, you know?” 

“You think so?” Naruto asks, his lips twisting up wryly. “I’m no different than you, Shika. I’m no different than anyone else.” 

Shikamaru hears those words and parses through its meaning with care. The look Naruto gives him is long and meaningful, as if trying to convey something Shikamaru might have trouble understanding. 

“You can still stare at the moon,” Shikamaru says quietly. “You can still look at the past and face it head on while all I do is keep my eyes down and walk.”

“I wish I could do that, sometimes,” Naruto returns. “I wish I could walk away from all of it and move forward, like you. I’m not facing the past – I’m stuck in it.” 

Shikamaru prides himself on being intelligent but sometimes, he misses the obvious. 

But now, it clicks. It’s clear what Naruto meant. 

“You are no different than I am,” Shikamaru says, surprised at the notion. Naruto only smiles. “Both of us want to heal from this, don’t we? It’s all so troublesome, isn’t it? I’m sick of waiting for the war to leave its chokehold on me. Absolutely sick.” 

“Sakura tells me that time will heal everything,” Naruto says, closing his eyes. “But why do I feel like time is only making things worse? That it’s only deepening the hurt?” 

“Time won’t heal anything,” Shikamaru replies, rubbing his hands together. “Only we can heal ourselves.” 

“I’m trying,” Naruto says, his eyes straying to the moon again. “Hey, Shika?” 

Shikamaru hums, turning towards Naruto whose face is thoughtful. 

“Look up, will you?” Naruto says, a small smile gracing his features. “The moon is beautiful. You need to see it. It’s beautiful.” 

Shikamaru hesitates but Naruto’s hand finds his, warm and coaxing–an anchor. With an uncertain tilt of his head, he turns his head upwards, his eyes finally catching sight of the bright miracle in the nightsky. 

Naruto didn’t lie. 

The moon is full and teeming with light, its façade a wondrous beauty in the plain canvas of the sky. 

Shikamaru breathes in deeply. Red colours the edges of his vision but he pushes it down, bolstered by the presence beside him, the hand supporting him. 

“Do you want to walk home with me?” Shikamaru asks after a while, when the cold finally numbs his fingertips. 

“Yes,” Naruto says easily, springing up, a slight grin on his face. “I love the route to your compound.” 

“Why?” Shikamaru asks as they fall in step, taking a moderate pace down the hill. 

“It leads to you most days, that’s why,” Naruto answers, flashing him a smile that edges on cheeky. 

“You must be feeling pretty good now, since you’re back to saying corny shit,” Shikamaru responds but there’s something warm in his chest, spreading through his body. 

“Speaking of corny shit,” Naruto says, eyeing him. “You said I boost people’s spirits but you know who boosts mine?” 

Shikamaru halts in his step before resuming once more. “Who?” 

“You,” Naruto’s smile stretches wide. “Thanks for keeping me company, Shika. It’s always nice talking to you.” 

“Even when I’m insulting your intelligence?” 

Naruto laughs, “Even then.” 

They part ways once they reach the Nara compound. The nightmares don’t stop, the heartache still lingers, the memories remain a source of pain. But Shikamaru feels a stir of deep gratitude – the epiphany of knowing he’s not alone in this. He’s never alone in this. If only because Naruto refuses to let him be. 

And he also realises, with some amount of awe, that he relates with Naruto, maybe more than anyone else. 

That even though Naruto and him are poles apart, they are also strikingly alike. 

Chapter Text

Shikamaru doesn’t bunk his classes often. He likes being at the Academy, he likes the whole process of learning and listening and improving his skills–even though he wishes they had more sit-in lectures instead of spars.

Today, things are a little different. 

For starters, Ino is in a horrible mood, having had a huge argument with her mother just that morning. So, she is ten times chattier than usual which is alot, given her average words per minute count is well over five hundred. There’s also the whole feud between Kiba and Chouji over one stolen sandwich and the buzzing of Shino’s kikachu which has only worsened with the weather. The colder it gets, the louder they become.

Shikamaru has trained himself to bear the chaos of his classmates with only the twitch of his eye to show for it but there’s only so much he can take before he crumbles. With the incessant sounds assaulting his ears, three different people vying for his attention, insects buzzing around his head, he craves for nothing more than silent, empty peace. 

That’s why he sneaks out through the back window in between lectures and he knows Chouji won’t notice till it is too late. He will apologise to his friend later but right now, his happiness comes first. 

The moment his feet land on the soft ground below, a wind whips through his hair and he shudders. Sprinting away from the main building, he fists his hands and shoves them into his pant pockets. His coat is on a hook inside the classroom and for all his forethought, he had forgotten to carry it out with him. Although he doubts he could have done so without being horribly conspicuous about his nefarious lecture-bunking plans.

He stops running till he’s crossed over into the park two blocks away, partly due to exertion and partly because it’s a decent location to unwind. The only time of day during which the parks of Konoha are blessedly empty is the morning–when almost all the kids attend school. 

Bent over, hands on his knees, he puffs out a lungful of air. Maybe Iruka-sensei’s insistence on improving his stamina has some merit. After regaining his composure, he straightens, still riding the small tremors the cold induces in his bones. 

Only now, with his head clear, does he notice the small figure behind the swingset. The bright blond hair is hard to miss and he almost groans aloud when he realises who it is. 

Just his luck that the one person who beats Ino on the noisiness scale lands up in the one place he came for reprieve. 

Naruto is crouched behind a swing, his back turned towards Shikamaru, his elbow moving. He considers quietly leaving and finding another spot but before he can even take a step back, Naruto stiffens and slowly, with a frown in place, turns his head to stare right at Shikamaru. 

A grin spreads across his face and he yells, “Oi! Shikamaru, is that you? What are you doing here?” 

Skipping on class, Shikamaru thinks, just like you. 

Outwardly, he sends Naruto a small wave, reluctant to reply and initiate a longer conversation. 

Naruto isn’t deterred in the least, for he springs up and beckons him closer with his usual enthusiasm. He is what a kid on perpetual sugar rush would act like and despite his best efforts, Shikamaru can’t seem to warm up to his behaviour. 

There’s a stick in Naruto’s hand which he uses to wave at him. Shikamaru realises what Naruto had been doing–drawing or writing onto the ground.

Mildly curious, he slowly makes his way towards Naruto. When he’s halfway there, Naruto seems to realise something and his grin falters for just a moment.

Eyes wide, they dart between the stick in his hand and the ground beside his feet and then he’s stomping madly, dispersing dirt this way and that to hide what he had been writing. Or drawing. 

Shikamaru wasn’t able to catch a glimpse. 

Curiosity increasing tenfold, he regards Naruto’s sheepish expression and the bare ground, all traces of any impressions gone. 

“Hello,” he says. “What were you doing with the stick?” 

Looking like a deer caught under headlights, Naruto tries to deflect, “What was I doing with the what–” he throws away the stick behind him and it lands in the sand pit with a soft thump, “–stick? What stick? I was doing nothing interesting for sure. Don’t worry, don’t worry. Anyway, what are you doing here? Damn, you seem to be freezing!” 

Shikamaru blinks, taken aback with the assault of words. As if reminded by Naruto’s observation, a shiver of cold goes through his body and he shoves his hands even deeper into his pockets. 

“I am freezing,” Shikamaru mutters. Eyeing Naruto’s t-shirt clad form, he continues, “But so are you. Where’s your coat? Forgot it in class?” 

“I didn’t come to the Academy today,” Naruto says. 

Oh. Shikamaru hadn’t realised that. How Naruto manages to be so loud and grand yet slide under everyone’s radar, he doesn’t know. 

“Besides,” Naruto adds, his grin returning, “I don’t feel cold at all. Actually, I’m getting kind of hot.” 

Shikamaru frowns at that, trying to decide if Naruto is bluffing or not. But the signs of cold are altogether absent–no rosy cheeks, no trembles, no red ears or nose, no excessive huffs. He seems perfectly fine. 

Huh. Weird.

“Okay,” he says haltingly, unsure of what to say. On the one hand, he wants to demand an answer out of Naruto and on the other, he wants to let it go so he can get back to his original purpose: acquirement of peace. 

After a moment of silence, he nods to himself and turns, approaching the swing. Easing himself into the seat, he sets it to sway lightly with his feet. He can’t wrap his hands around the chains because they’re no doubt ice-cold and he has no intentions of removing his hands from the deep burrows of his clothing. 

He doesn’t expect Naruto to take a seat on the swing beside him but he should have. 

He also doesn’t expect what comes out of Naruto’s mouth. 

“Um, do you–” Naruto bites his lip, his face turned towards him, his brows furrowing. “Do you want me to leave?” 

Shikamaru’s confusion is instantaneous. He looks at Naruto, taking in the nervous way in which he smiles, the crinkle of his clothes, the dirt under his fingernails. He never imagined someone as bright and outgoing as Naruto could look so wrongfooted, so unsure of his self. 

“I want to – what?” Shikamaru asks, feeling off-kilter. Sure, he would have preferred if Naruto wasn’t here but he would never feel entitled enough to think the blond should leave, just so he could be more comfortable. That’s what an asshole would do and he really hates being an asshole. “No! Of course, not. This is a public park, Naruto. Even if someone wanted you to leave, you shouldn’t have to,” he pauses because Naruto seems a bit startled. “You realise that, right? You deserve to be here as much as I do.” 

“Oh,” Naruto utters, turning his head to the front, twisting his wrist around the chain links. “Yeah. Yes. I do. I was just... making sure I wasn’t distur– uhhh, I wasn’t making your headache worse.” 

“How do you know I have a headache?” Shikamaru says and tries his best to hide his shock, paying attention to every twitch on Naruto’s face. 

Naruto frowns, as if he doesn’t understand the need for the question, as if Shikamaru’s ailment is an obvious fact of nature. 

“You’re squinting too hard and you loosened your ponytail,” Naruto says, shrugging. “You only do that when you have a headache.” 

Shikamaru sinks into his stretchy seat, taking a few moments to let Naruto’s words sink in. To think the blond had paid enough attention to not only realise he had a headache but also notice the tics he apparently had is quite honestly blasphemous. This is Naruto–the ultimate daydreamer, their class’ biggest clown, troublemaker extraordinaire. 

He looks up at the clouds and stops his train of thought. Instead, his mind wanders back to what he had noticed of Naruto. The jitters, the soft question all but asking whether he should leave, the panic as he hurriedly hid his tracings on the ground. 

Shikamaru feels like his eyes have opened just a bit today, as if he is seeing a side of Naruto he never knew existed. To reconcile the bright, shining Naruto who causes a ruckus in class with the almost sombre blond sitting just a few feet away, content to let the silence linger is, well, difficult. 

Even if he doesn’t understand how a person can be so drastically different, he knows for certain that there is alot more to Naruto than what simply meets the eye. 

And that is interesting. 

“What were you doing with the stick?” Shikamaru asks again, his expression open and curious. 

Naruto hesitates but the mood of revelations must be affecting him too, because he sighs and slumps, all fight draining out of him. “I was writing tables. Trying to, atleast. I just can’t remember them right!” he throws up his hands, a pout forming on his lips. “Two times two is four but four times four is not eight! How unfair is that?” 

Amused, Shikamaru replies, “You’re making a false equivalence. Nothing’s unfair–you’re just not getting the rules of multiplication right.” 

“I know that,” Naruto insists, crossing his arms. “My brain is all fried up, now. Iruka-sensei says that if I fail another test, he will kick me out of class. Do you think he will do that?” 

Shikamaru smiles, “I don’t think so. Sensei is pretty fond of you.” 

“No, he’s very mean to me,” Naruto grumbles. “Do you know how many classroom chores he makes me do as punishment? Way too many, if you ask me.” 

“You do glue his butt to his chair every two weeks,” Shikamaru supplies, mirthful. “I think it’s only natural he takes his revenge on you.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side over an adult’s?” Naruto shoots him a dirty look. “Hey, Shikamaru. You’re hella smart, right?” 

Weirdly enough, a warmth spreads under his skin at those words and Shikamaru pointedly ignores it in favour of replying, “I think so. Why?” 

“Uh, um,” Naruto’s back to his weird eyebrow dance of nervousness and confidence, surety and doubtfulness. “Well, could you teach me? The math tables, I mean? If – if you can, that is. I know your head is aching and whatnot. And it’s okay if you can’t, ofcourse! Actually, I take it back. I should study from a book, right? Books are like the treasure of knowledge and all. Atleast that’s what Teuchi-san says. And what if Iruka-sensei scolds me again? That’s okay. He means well, anyway–” 

“Gods, Naruto,” Shikamaru cuts his word vomit off. “Take a breather, will you? And yes, I can help you. I’m feeling a bit better.” 

And isn’t that curious? When had his headache become subdued? Talking to people usually made it worse. 

Naruto’s mouth drops open and he tries to reply but ends up with a confused expression on his face.

“You sure?” he asks finally, tentative hope colouring his voice. 

“I’m sure,” Shikamaru nods. 

Naruto gives him a smile which is a little different than the ones he usually wears. It’s tinged with gratitude and relief and his ever-infectious joy. Shikamaru finds himself smiling back. 

They spend the next hour and half writing with sticks on the ground, making tables, solving simple multiplication sums and playing a few rounds of X and O. Shikamaru relaxes as the minutes tick by, surprised at the lack of irritation at Naruto’s presence. He isn’t an easy student but Shikamaru can see that he tries–harder than most, infact. But he knows Naruto has trouble understanding things him and his peers grasp easily, that he struggles with simple problems that even kids younger than him can solve. 

But... 

And now, there’s a but to that statement. 

But Naruto also has his strengths. He is observant in the oddest ways, finds patterns in things no one would even suspect to be related, has a way of viewing the world that might be incongruent with the rest but just as valid and true. 

Shikamaru thinks it’s actually kind of cool. 

When the sun hangs directly overhead, noon finally making the cold tolerable, they walk to the park exit and part ways. Naruto is cheerful as ever in his goodbye but when he thanks Shikamaru, earnest and sincere, it loosens something in the Nara’s chest, makes him breathe better. 

Later, they don’t talk much in class and Naruto doesn’t ask him for help all that often. But once in a blue moon, they find themselves alone in the empty park again, sticks in their hands, the ground stretching to form their canvas. They don’t touch on topics that make them uncomfortable and Naruto doesn’t chatter endlessly about pointless things but they have small, quiet conversations about numbers and jutsu and their fate as shinobi. 

They laugh sometimes, breathy and uncontrolled, over a bad joke Naruto cracks or a particularly hilarious mistake he makes while doing math. Other times, Shikamaru carries a thermos of tea and they sit under the skeleton of trees, sipping from it as if they are in on a conspiracy. 

The meetings don’t last forever, though. As graduation nears, tensions rise and they slowly leave their childhood behind. Shikamaru pays more attention in class and Iruka-sensei gets more stern with Naruto and they can’t find the time to circle back to the park and create a moment to just be there and relax. 

Shikamaru starts forgetting the feeling of being in Naruto’s presence–how grounding it is, how fun. Geninship is a constant endeavour in surviving and his peace of mind becomes the least of his worries. The phantom call towards the park does hit him sometimes, unexpectedly while he’s off on a mission or when he’s lying on his futon, trying to fall asleep. But Naruto isn’t in his tightly wound bubble anymore–he’s off on his own adventures and wading through his own nightmares. 

So, sometimes when he walks past the Academy, when he walks past the park–empty and vacated, the swings creaking with the wind, he goes and takes a seat, missing the other half of his childhood memories, missing the blond hair and bright laughter that had once been. 

Chapter Text

It’s been a few long months since Shikamaru has stepped a foot inside Konoha. 

Following the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, all the villages and their leaderships have been trying their best to repair all the damage left behind in the wake of the Akatsuki and Kaguya’s senseless rampage. This damage doesn’t only cover the physical domain but also political which is where Shikamaru comes in. He is Konoha’s liaison with Suna and has been since he was a year old chunin fresh off his third B-rank mission success. 

Dealing with Gaara is fairly enjoyable, compared to some of the other political leaders Shikamaru has had the displeasure of interacting with and his work is rather interesting–if not a bit tedious–which isn’t something one can normally say about bureaucracy. Still, his tolerance for sand grains ending up in unknown nooks of his body and weather that changes as abruptly as Temari’s moods was beginning to wear down. So, when he was called back via a hawk messenger one sunny morning, he heaved a sigh of relief, packed his bags and returned home. 

Now, here he is–standing before the stocky admin building, all his luggage shoved into a storage scroll that he’s sure will tear soon from overuse. He’s already taken a peek inside and knows that both the long queue and the high probability of having to fraternise with the jounin-on-charge are the reasons he is still rooted in spot, hesitating. 

Knowing that there is no way out of this, he shakes his head and braces himself. He enters through the rather small entryway when–

“Don’t you dare overdo it again, Naruto!” 

“I’ll try my best, boss!” 

A figure shoulders past Shikamaru, jostling him hard enough that he stumbles. Frowning, he turns around, ready to yell at the back of an uncaring, too-busy shinobi but he comes face to face with Naruto instead.

He hasn’t seen Naruto since the end of the war, since Naruto was admitted for an arm transplant. The last conversation they had was a brief exchange of condolences at the mass funeral, both of them too solemn and heartbroken to say more than a few words. 

Naruto’s looking at him with half-apology and half delighted surprise. His face is flush with colour, his skin sun-warmed, wearing a smile that reaches his eyes. Shikamaru thinks Naruto has never looked better. The war had taken alot out of them, had turned them into proper soldiers–survivors. He still can’t shake off the image of a gaunt-looking Naruto, soaked in his own blood, one arm missing as he tries to smile for his friends and fails.

Seeing the blond now, so bright and alive–it sends a shiver of gratitude through him. It shows him that everyone is slowly but surely healing, that his work in Suna will bear fruits one day. 

“Shikamaru?” Naruto asks, a happy realisation in his voice. He takes a step towards him and before Shikamaru can so much as blink, Naruto has his arms wrapped around him, embracing him in a welcome hug. “You’re back!” he says, sounding upbeat. “It’s been so long, man!” 

Shikamaru hugs him back, a smiling pulling at his lips. It’s nice being in Naruto’s presence again. They pull apart and he says, “Yes. I think I’ve been gone for three–four months? Last time I was here, the main gate was still one pillar wide.” 

“Oh yes. The reconstruction efforts are going full swing, aren’t they?” Naruto says, his grin subsiding into a smaller smile. He looks genuinely elated to meet Shikamaru and that warms him. “How was Suna? Gaara sent me letters, you know? He had a few things to say about you.” 

Noticing the teasing lilt in Naruto’s voice, Shikamaru rolls his eyes, “Suna was the same. Hot and cold and dry and sandy. What did Gaara say about me? Overflowing praise, I assume.”

Naruto laughs and holds his elbow to steer them away from the outgoing crowd. They end up near the back of the building, where the smell of dust and parchment is thick and heavy. 

“He told me that instead of using the shiny new workspace, you chose to overtake Gaara’s office balcony to do all your paperwork,” Naruto says with mild disbelief. “Had a nice view there, did you? Gaara thought you loved being in his company but I know better.” 

Shikamaru shrugs, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. ”If there is one thing I love about Suna, it’s their clear skies. I’d be a fool to not take advantage of that and cloud-watch to my heart’s desire.” 

“Some things never change, do they?” Naruto asks, his voice softening as he stares at Shikamaru. 

Shikamaru shifts on his feet, feeling oddly charmed. He coughs and jerks his chin towards Naruto’s right hand, “That’s a mission scroll, right? Do you have to head out?” 

“This little guy?” Naruto asks, tossing the scroll up casually before snatching it back mid-air. “Nah, it’s just a D-rank. I usually take one up during my off days. Subaku-san needs to have a hundred holes dug up for manure production and I think my clones will be just right for the job.” 

“Right. I always forget that you have the ultimate cheat trick to escape manual labour,” Shikamaru comments, entirely unsurprised that Naruto chooses to be productive even on days of rest. 

“It’s not a cheat trick,” Naruto defends with a smile. “Atleast not any more than your shadow entrapping technique or any other jutsu.” 

“There are a million ways I can poke holes in that argument but–” Shikamaru straightens, sighing, “–I unfortunately need to check-in with the desk before noon. You need to go act like a human-drill, too. So, let’s resume this conversation later, alright?” 

Naruto blinks and his expression becomes thoughtful. “Hm, no. That’s not happening. Go get your report done and meet me outside the building. We’re not parting ways till we’re all caught up. I have to ask you so many juicy questions, do you have any idea?” 

It takes a little more coaxing but Shikamaru ends up agreeing to Naruto’s plan, not aversed to spending some more time with him. At the admin desk, the jounin-on-duty is blessedly as disdainful of small talk as Shikamaru is and documents are swapped and stamps are given with minimal exchange of words.

Feeling lighter now that one thing is ticked off his mental checklist, he exits through the room and walks into Konoha’s clean, crisp air. He hadn’t noticed before but the weather is just the right amount of cold. The wind is fast and free and when it hits Shikamaru’s face, it brings a freshness and lightness that he had dearly missed in Suna’s oppressive mid-morning heat. 

This period, right before the proper onset of winter, when the coolness is still tolerable and the breeze carries the smell of pine and citrus, is probably his favourite time of the year. 

He spots Naruto easily, partly because Naruto is waving at him like a maniac and partly because his blond hair is extremely hard to miss when the sunlight shines straight down at it as it does today.

Once Shikamaru is close, Naruto shoots him a mysterious yet eager smile, “I need to show you something. Ready for a little hike, Shikamaru?” 

Shikamaru nods, confused, but it doesn’t matter because his wrist is already snagged in Naruto’s tight hold and they’re sailing past the packed crowds of the markets at astonishing speeds. He lets his body be pulled, not having enough energy to protest. Besides, he can’t deny that he is curious. Being with Naruto is like a constant adventure–you either roll with the punches or get left behind and Shikamaru isn’t a fan of the latter. 

They walk and then they run through the streets of Konoha, onto shingled rooftops that sends hollers of disgruntled homemakers at their backs and into alleyways only ever visited by hungry mice. By the time, they’re out of the cement and wood façade of the interior village, they’re already racing up the green hills that lead up to the Hokage Monument. But halfway up, Naruto steers them away from the top and they cover yet another mile through the thick trees and thorny shrubs and mossy undergrowth of Konoha’s most untamed forest. 

When they finally stop, Naruto is heaving and Shikamaru is three steps away from total collapse. 

But the scene before him rewires his brain and he forgets the burning pain in his thighs in favour of appreciating the view. The trees here have gone entirely wild, no order or system to their growth. A small rock-cut cave sits snuggled amongst oaks and magnolia and a huge conifer tree. Small bushes sprouting colourful, vibrant flowers decorate the space below, filling the area with a distinctly sweet perfume. Rough thorntrees circle the outer perimeter with fresh yellow blossoms crowning the branches. 

“Shikamaru?” 

Shikamaru blinks, a little dazed as he turns towards Naruto who is regarding him with curiosity. “Um. Yes?” 

“You like it, don’t you?” Naruto gestures towards the cave, a proud gleam to his eyes. “This is where the old shrines were located. After they fell during the war, the forest took over completely and look what happened! It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” 

Beautiful is an understatement, Shikamaru thinks. After months in Suna’s drab lands, seeing so much greenery and colour and nature is making him, honest to gods, emotional but he hides it well as he shoots Naruto a smile. 

“Yeah, I like it. I really like it.” 

“Then, what are we waiting for?” Naruto asks, eyebrow quirked. “Shall we?” 

“We shall,” Shikamaru agrees and they make their way to the cave, crouching and then lying under the cover. Their heads pop out of the mouth and stare right above, through the canopy of the trees to the blue and cloudy sky above. 

“How did you find this place?” Shikamaru asks. The sounds of chirping and rustling and wind blowing are prominent here but there’s a serenity to this noise that he doesn’t mind. 

“On accident,” Naruto answers, his arms folded below his head. “I was climbing up to the Hokage Monument but I... fell and sprained my ankle. Kurama and I were kind of feuding at the time so that asshole refused to heal me. So I decided to limp around aimlessly till he got over himself and helped me and it landed me here. Now, I’m glad I have a grumpy chakra beast in my head,” he briefly looks up, eyes glazing over and he mutters with a bright smile, “Thanks again, Kurama.” 

“Your life is just one rollercoaster after another, huh?” Shikamaru says, tracing the slow drift of one fluffy cloud in his vision. 

“You say that as if your life isn’t equally as exciting,” Naruto says pointedly, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. “I heard you met the Wind Daimyo and told him he needs to get his shit together – of course, in more polite terms. You’re amazing, you know that?” 

“Gaara, again?” 

“Who else do you think?” Naruto grins. “He’s my most reliable source of international gossip. You won’t believe the kind of letters he sends me. He’s not much of a talker but his writing is so good.” 

“Oh, I know, trust me,” Shikamaru replies, smiling at the memories he made with the Kazekage. “I proofread alot of his correspondence and they were the most entertaining part of my job, for sure.” 

“So, tell me, did you have any fun outside of official duties?” Naruto prods, his tone playfully inquisitive. “Found anyone special?” 

Shikamaru huffs and shakes his head. “Not at all. Things were awkward with Temari as is and I wasn’t in the mood to start anything new. What about you? Did Hinata–” 

“We talked,” Naruto says, his voice turning a little regretful. “I told her I didn’t feel the same way. I think I really hurt her, you know?” 

Naruto turns his body a little towards him, restless, running a hand through his hair. “Gah,” he exhales, “I don’t even know how to approach her anymore. Any advice?” 

“None,” Shikamaru says. “Didn’t you just hear me say things with Temari were awkward? If I knew how to cut that post-breakup tension, I’d have done it for myself.” 

“We’re both so useless in these things, aren’t we?” 

“Yeah,” Shikamaru admits, though he’s sure Naruto still fares better in the whole relationships part of their lives compared to him. “Anyway, how are Sakura and Sasuke doing?” 

“Sakura’s fine,” Naruto replies, plopping straight down again, crossing his ankles. “Just spends a little too much time in the hospital but between Kakashi-sensei and I, we manage to make sure she doesn’t overwork. Sasuke, though...” his voice hushes, brows lowering, “he’s getting by. I don’t think anyone would enjoy their stay in a prison cell but we’re trying our best to keep him company for as long as we are permitted.” 

“Hey, he’ll be alright. Don’t worry,” Shikamaru says because he knows by now that Sasuke is one person that can make Naruto seriously neglect his own wellbeing. He isn’t going to stay silent if Naruto runs himself ragged trying to help the Uchiha once more. The bandaged arm lying next to his own is enough damage. There’s no need for more. “And take care of yourself, okay? I know you have this selfless hero thing going on but you have to allow yourself to slow down and have some time to recuperate.” 

Naruto is silent for a moment. 

“Okay,” he says quietly, a lopsided smile on his face. “You know I’m resting right now, right? Thanks to you.” 

“Actually, that credit’s all yours,” Shikamaru returns, feeling unbelievably comfortable on the solid ground, shaded by a broken cave and a hundred trees. 

Remembering something, Shikamaru shoves his hand into his pant pocket and pulls out a small shiny object. 

“Look at this,” he hands it to Naruto. “I brought it from Suna. I thought I should get Mirai a gift because I’m her godfather and uhh, I just want her to have souvenirs from all my travels because I won’t get to be with her much but I didn’t know what exactly would be an appropriate gift for a months old infant and um, what do you think?” 

He stares at Naruto intently as the blond inspects the gift. It is a tiny golden bracelet with shimmering silver miniature tassles. Faces of Suna’s native animals and birds are carved onto each singular bead in a show of delicate handiwork. He’d found the piece at a local jewelery stall and the artisan had told him she’d made the bracelet with a baby in mind. 

“It’s adorable!” Naruto gushes, his eyes wide as he cradles the bracelet as if it’s the best treasure in the world. “Aw, baby Mirai is gonna love this! Toddlers are all about shiny bright things, you know? This is so pretty, too. Shika, I didn’t know you had such good taste!” 

Internally relieved that his gift isn’t whack, Shikamaru rolls his eyes at Naruto and gently takes back the bracelet, placing it securely in his pocket. “My taste has always been spectacular.” 

“Hm, sure,” Naruto says in a tone that makes his opposing stance clear. He stretches his arms, groaning as the kinks in neck disappear and then he settles back again. This time, their shoulders and legs touch, warmth flooding Shikamaru at the contact. 

“This is nice,” Naruto says, smiling once more. Joy suits Naruto, bringing out a serenity in him that Shikamaru doesn’t see often. 

“It is,” Shikamaru agrees. 

And so they let the conversation fall short, let the sounds of the forest lull them into a peaceful coexistence. The clouds shift and wade through the blue expanse of the sky and Shikamaru lets himself become one with them, drifting in and out of sleep, the pleasant hum of birdsong and woodpecking keeping him company. Naruto’s breathing is constant beside him, steady and slow as the blond takes a nap too, and it’s like they are cocooned in this moment, in this canopy and Shikamaru can’t help but feel free.

There is a distant of rush of water he can hear, from the stream flowing down the hill. The image of it lingers in his mind as all his mount up homesickness seeps out of him. Months of weariness, exhaustion, grief and internal turmoil become nonexistent in the face of undeniable contentment that this moment brings him. It’s wonderful how life can solve big problems with such small things, how it can give him both endless sorrow that will haunt him for years but also infinite joy wrapped up in just a few hours. 

How it can give him a friend like Naruto, who is happy to just have a conversation with him, who lives with a freedom Shikamaru only hopes to emulate, who is carefree but never careless with his emotions. 

He closes his eyes, breathing in vitality and lets slumber take him home. 

When they both stir awake, it’s late afternoon. The sun is descending and small animals roam amidst the treegrowth, trying to find insects to feed on. Naruto’s hair is ruffled and soft, a few leaves stuck in between which he dislodges with a ruffle. Shikamaru’s ponytail is askew and ties it back up, tight and proper. 

“Off to dig holes, now?” Shikamaru asks as they move out of the cave. 

“Yes. I’m already a bit late,” Naruto yawns and replies. “I hope Subaku-san will accept my apology.” 

“If you show him your puppy-dog eyes, he will.” 

“Will keep that in mind,” Naruto says lightly. “You go home and sleep some more. You won’t have missions until next week, right?” 

“Yes,” Shikamaru answers. Then, because he feels like Naruto should know, “I’m leaving for Kumo next month. Another lengthy negotiation process.” 

“I know,” Naruto says, eyeing him with a charged emotion Shikamaru can’t quite decipher. “Kakashi-sensei told me. I’m starting my Hokage training next month, too. I hope we get to travel together at some point.” 

“Oh,” Shikamaru utters. He was supposed to help Naruto with his training but now he is too busy making political repairs to do that. It is a little disappointing, if he’s being honest. “I see. Good luck with that. Hope you know that I think you’ll make a great Hokage.” 

“Thank you,” Naruto says sincerely. 

“No,” Shikamaru replies. “Thank you.” 

With the way Naruto’s expression morphs into fond exasperation, Shikamaru is sure the blond realises what his gratitude is for. 

They part ways at the base of the hill, Naruto promising that they will meet soon and that they should visit Kurenai-sensei together when their schedules permit. Shikamaru agrees because he realises he genuinely enjoys being in Naruto’s presence and the blond clearly feels the same way about him. But deep down, he knows it will be a while before they will get to share a space like they did today, in the quiet corner of Konoha, away from the chaos of their world. 

It’s always been that way. Naruto and him walking paths that end up diverging, following legacies entirely different, doing jobs that never allign and yet they find a few memories to share together and manage to stay in each other’s lives–growing more and more comfortable each time they talk, each time they meet. 

It’s that fact that gives him hope that despite their distance, his friendship with Naruto will be lasting and strong.

Shikamaru watches Naruto’s retreating back, pondering about when he will see him again, when they will lie next to each other again. 

Looking back, Shikamaru sometimes wonders whether this is the moment when he started falling, whether this is when his gentle descent into love and living began. 

Chapter Text

The aromas of different hot foods waft from the hospital cafeteria to the lobby, reminding Shikamaru that he’d forgotten to eat breakfast yet again. It has become a frequent occurrence since their return from the Sasuke Retrieval Mission. He doesn’t have any appetite left when full servings of remorse already lie heavy in his stomach. 

He lightly slaps his thigh twice, trying to ground himself. He’s had countless conversations about this with his father, about how to navigate his guilt and trauma healthily but it is simply impossible to remove the memories of Neji and Chouji and Naruto–all lying on their beds like bleeding, broken messes because he hadn’t been a good leader for them, hadn’t thought things through before giving orders. 

To think he could have been responsible for Chouji–his best friend’s death? There is no way he can think about this rationally. His emotions dictate his response and he cannot handle them, at the moment, and he doesn’t want to. He needs to feel this guilt, this horrible feeling of helplessness so he always remembers how he failed his team, how he let everyone down.

“Shikamaru?” 

He looks up at the voice of the nurse he’s become all too familiar with. In the last two weeks, he’s been more at the hospital than his own house and the crinkle of sympathy on Toru-san’s face is a stark reminder of that. 

“Are you okay, dear?” Toru-san asks. She’s an old woman–all prim and proper but undeniably kind. Her lips downturn in a frown and she clutches the notepad tighter to her chest, a gesture Shikamaru has recognised as her nervous tic. “You look pale again. Have you eaten, today? Would you like a packed lunch box from the kitchens? I can arrange for it.” 

Shikamaru waves her off, standing up. A little hunger won’t kill him. He has more important things to do. 

“I’m fine,” he assures with a lazy smile and her shoulders relax a bit. “I’ll head home after this visit. Is he... ?” 

Toru-san takes a moment to register his enquiry but when she does, she closes her eyes and nods, ”Yes, he’s ready to see you,” she informs and meets his gaze. “He’s all changed up, too. That boy needs more rest but his idiot master is deadset on leaving today and Naruto’s going along with it. I just don’t understand. What’s the hurry? They can go after the kid’s out of bandages at the very least but–” she stops herself abruptly and heaves a big breath, pressing the palm of her hand down the tunic to smoothen the creases. “I’m sorry, dear, I’m just so worked up about this. Go on in, now, this might be the last time you’ll see your friend for a while.” 

With a sympathetic smile, Toru-san vanishes down the hallway, a legion of patients still left to tend to. How she manages to expend so much personal care for all them, Shikamaru doesn’t know. He’s exhausted from just looking after three. 

He approaches Naruto’s room, his fist lingering before the door. This is the first time he’s going to meet the blond while he’s lucid. All the times before, Naruto had either been unconscious, semiconscious or entirely checked out. 

“How long are you planning on lurking there, Shika?” 

Naruto’s voice comes through, tired but amused, and it startles Shikamaru enough that he directly twists the doorknob and enters through. But that’s as far as he gets before the sheepishness floods in, along with the ever-present guilt. 

“Hey,” he says, sounding scratchy and awkward. He quietly closes the door and leans against it, watching Naruto as he adjusts the straps of his sandals. “It’s good to see you awake again. How are you feeling?” 

Naruto huffs a laugh and though Shikamaru knows it’s a bit forced, it warms the room a little, makes the space brighter. 

“I’ve been awake for a while now, and I’m feeling pretty good,” he says and as demonstration, he springs straight up, a wide smile on his face. His forehead isn’t wrapped in bandages anymore and the scratches on his forearms have healed. Naruto has always jumped back from injuries sooner than most but his almost sprightly enthusiasm shocks Shikamaru. It seems that even near-death incidents can’t curb Naruto’s good cheer. Neither can Sasuke’s betrayal, apparently, but Shikamaru isn’t going to point that out.

“The real question is,” Naruto continues on pointedly, crossing his arms, “whether you, Shikamaru Nara, are doing well or not? I’ve been stuck on this hospital bed for weeks and yet I look leagues better than you do! You look sickly! Are you eating properly? Drinking properly? Do I need to forcefeed nutrition supplements to you?” 

“Sickly is just my natural complexion, Naruto. Calm down,” Shikamaru replies with a roll of his eyes. Naruto’s worrywart behaviour has only been upgraded since their Academy days, it seems. “And will you sit down? If you’d forgotten, you still have around a hundred stitches in your chest and disturbing them isn’t the best idea.” 

Naruto’s smile falters a tad but he does accept the advice and takes a seat on the bed. 

“Don’t think you can distract me, Shika,” Naruto grumbles as he crosses his legs and leans against the pillows. “Kakashi-sensei told me you’ve been wandering the hospital corridors like a haunting wraith for the last two weeks. That can’t be good for you. You need rest, too. Just like the rest of us.” 

“That is rich coming the guy heading out on a training trip with a still-recovering body,” Shikamaru replies, his stare unimpressed. No way is he going to address his current emotional instability so swerving the conversation is his best strategy. Let Naruto deal with his demons, he prefers to let his own devour him. 

“I am recovered,” Naruto insists but the stiff way he holds his upper body is disagreement enough. “Besides, I’m not the one skipping out on meals and roaming around with eyebags that look the size of apples. That, my friend, is all you. You look like a zombie and not even a threatening one at that. Do you realise how uncool that is?” 

The chuckle that escapes Shikamaru doesn’t surprise him. His father, his mother, his clanmates, even Toru-san had been so gentle with him, tip-toeing his self-destructive behavior with absurd euphemisms. And here Naruto is, insulting him without a care in the world, just to make him see sense. And he has to admit, it seems to be working. 

“Just so you know, I aspire to be a zombie so I must thank you for the compliment,” he says, a half-smile stretching across his lips. “And trust me, I can take care of myself. I know my limits. You just look out for yourself, alright? Heading out for a cross-country venture isn’t going to be easy.” 

“Who wants easy?” Naruto says, wrinkling his nose. “I just want it to be fun and the old pervert told me it’s going to be just that. You just wait, Shika–when I return, I’ll be stronger than ever!” 

“I don’t doubt that,” Shikamaru says, knowing that he means it. Naruto is already unfathomably powerful and his learning curve has proven to be exponential. In two years, the blond will become a true force to be reckoned with, of that much he is certain. 

“And I expect the same from you!” Naruto declares, his eyes intense with sincerity. Shikamaru blinks, taken aback. “Promise me that you’ll work just as hard as I will and that you will work through whatever this is–” Naruto’s forehead creases and he chews on the side of his lip. “Be it guilt or sorrow or anger...” his voice holds so much empathy Shikamaru wonders for a moment if behind Naruto’s loud cheer lie the same emotions he himself is struggling with. “Promise me, Shika, that you will overcome them. We’re the next generation of Konoha, aren’t we? The old man used to say so. We gotta make the Will of Fire burn brighter.” 

Shikamaru shakes his head wryly, a weird sort of fondness flooding him.

The fact of the matter is: he will miss Naruto. He will miss him for their odd kind of friendship, their run-ins that always hold so much more meaning that either of them can understand, for the way Naruto laughs like the world, despite all the grimness, is capable of providing uncontainable joy. 

“Yeah,” he says, sighing. “I promise.” 

“Here!” Naruto says, hurling something towards him. 

Shikamaru catches the object easily, and when he realises what it is, he shoots Naruto a dirty look. “A riceball? Seriously? I told you I can take care of myself.” 

Naruto raises his hands in placation, his mien mirthful, “I know, I know. This is hospital food. The riceball tastes like acid and dry sand. I gave it to you because I couldn’t finish it. Consider it a parting gift, alright?” 

Shikamaru unwraps the small paper packet and inside lies a perfectly made onigiri. He doesn’t call Naruto out on his bluff. Instead, he says, “You know gifts are supposed to be pleasant, beneficial things, right? Not culinary disasters.” 

“But see, gifts should be also be compatible with the person I’m giving it to. You’re a big mess at the moment. So really, the riceball and you are a match made in heaven,” Naruto explains, his tone a little too chirpy. 

“I hadn’t realised your propensity for bullshit had increased so much,” Shikamaru says dryly, even as he takes a bite out of his gift. 

Naruto grins, “You have Kakashi-sensei to blame for that.” 

Shikamaru opens his mouth to respond but a knock sounds at the door, vibrations of it reaching his back. He shuffles ahead, allowing Toru-san to peek her head in, her face regretful. 

“I’m sorry to cut this short boys, but Jiraiya-san is waiting outside already. Naruto, you should hurry up.”

Naruto nods his head and Toru-san leaves them be, once more. As Naruto tidies up his bed and shoves in the last of his belongings into the small backpack, Shikamaru stands by the side and says nothing. Now that Naruto’s inevitable leave has been so prominently pointed out, he’s back to feeling unsure and uncertain. He knows, in a way, that their mission failure is the reason for the blond’s departure. 

And just like that, the guilt is back again. 

In a few minutes, Naruto is all ready and they stand near the door, both hesitant to open and walk into two different realities. 

“Hey, Naruto,” Shikamaru says, shifting on his feet. “I just wanted to say that...I should have done better. I should have known better. About what happened during the mission...I am sorry–” 

Naruto cuts his rambling apology short, smiling as he says, “The chunin vest looks great on you, Shika. It really does. I think it suits you.” 

For the second time during their conversation, Shikamaru blinks in shock, a little stumped. All his insecurities, all his failures form a choking lump in his throat, thrown into raw exposure with Naruto’s simple, frank words. Never has someone’s faith in him felt so uplifting before. It is a daunting thought to have. 

“Thanks,” Shikamaru says, looking to the side. Frowning to himself, he turns back to Naruto. Though he hates to say the next words, he wants to pay back Naruto for the confidence boost. It’s only fair. 

“Listen,” he begins, taking a deep breath in. “I know I’m not the most informed party about this topic but Sasuke... his desertion is not your fault. That guy has too many issues and they all stem from incidents that you have nothing to do with. You tried your best, I know you did. And for what it’s worth–even though Sasuke put a hole in your chest, it was no stab in the back. I know it’s weird to say this, but his goal didn’t seem to be betraying you and hurting you, though he ended up doing just that.” 

Naruto holds his gaze for a few moments, silence weighing them down. He seems confused, but not in a bad way. Like he’s trying to figure Shikamaru out, trying to gauge the meaning behind his words. 

“I know he didn’t mean it,” Naruto says finally, running a hand through his hair. “And I know it’s not my fault. But it’s just hard to–to accept that, you know?” 

Shikamaru gives him a lopsided smile. He does know. 

“It will be okay,” Shikamaru says, feeling something uncoil in his chest. “We promised we would overcome this, didn’t we?” 

Naruto hums, “We did.” 

Shikamaru tilts his head towards the door, “Go on, then. You have a Sannin out there waiting for you.” 

Naruto nods and gives him a quick hug, patting his shoulder.

“See you soon, Shika.” 

Shikamaru doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye because Naruto is already out the door, shutting it close behind him. Shikamaru doesn’t follow him outside, doesn’t go the front gates to bid him farewell. Instead, he walks to the window and finishes the last of his riceball. A chilly air caresses his cheek and while he watches the tops of painted roofs and wreathe of trees, the first snow of the year starts to fall. 

He looks down at his vest, pulling it tighter around him. Naruto’s words float in his head, an echo of warmth and kindness. 

Chouji is out of critical condition, recuperating two doors away. Neji’s on the ground floor, doing physical therapy. The healers have told him his friends will be okay and he hadn’t believed it, hadn’t let himself feel reassured. But now, he wants to. He wants to shed off his guilt and his doubt and strive to be better, strive to a be chunin who is worthy of leading his team. 

Most of all, he wants to forgive himself. 

Pocketing his hands, he turns around. Naruto may have started his journey already but Shikamaru has one to undertake himself. 

After all, he has a promise to keep and Shikamaru would be damned before he let another promise go broken under his watch.

Chapter Text

Shikamaru steps outside the spice-scented interior of the Curling Flames and leans against the stonefront of the restaurant. The overhang is made of a light coloured clay, blessedly shielding him from the rapid snowfall assaulting every building and shopper on the wide street. 

Cold air balloons in front of him with every exhale as he shoves his rapidly freezing hands into his pant pockets. With a lazy turn of his head, he peeks through the glass and wood door behind him, getting a direct view of the large-sized table he had just abandoned for a moment of solitude. 

There, cramped into more chairs than the surface area of the space allows, are his friends. Most of them are rosy-cheeked from a night of merry drinking. Ino’s been muttering rubbish into his ears for the last two hours straight while Lee’s crashed three cups of sake and atleast two chairs in his inebriated haze. He has a feeling the owner has been throwing them suspiciously annoyed looks but he can’t be certain. He’s a bit tipsy, too. 

Bowls are stacked into small piles on the edge of the tables while platefuls of seasoned fish and meat still heap high around the two blazing grills. Tenten and Chouji expertly maneuver the bits of meat and seafood above lolling heads and stray hands and char them to pleasant taste. Sakura’s on refill duty this night, making sure everyone’s cup remains full of drink, alcoholic or otherwise. She’s done an impressive job so far, in Shikamaru’s opinion, which must be a huge sore for her arms. 

At the head of the table sit the two people who are the cause of celebration. Hinata’s smile is blindingly wide, her hair done up in an elaborate fashion, a few fringes curling down the sides of her face. She is leaning against Kiba’s side, whose grin has never left his face since the start of their hours-long dinner. Kiba, for once, is dressed in impeccably tailored clothes–his jacket thrown on the back of his chair, leaving him in a black button-down with rolled up sleeves. Shikamaru envies the heated inside as another cold wind brushes against his face with little mercy. 

The gleam of gemstone catches his eyes and he hones in on the matching engagement rings adorning Hinata and Kiba’s fingers. The giddiness of two fated lovers is annoyingly (and endearingly) present in their mannerisms–their pressed shoulders, one shared plate for eating, and incessant eye-contact coupled with laughter that seems to come out of nowhere. It makes Shikamaru smile. 

With a sigh, he takes out the cigarette pack from his pocket and lights one up using a small muttered jutsu. He inhales, feeling the pleasant burn going right down to his chest before letting it all out–the smoke taking away the tension in his back. 

A movement at the side catches his attention and he turns towards it. Down the right of the building, in the corridor leading to the restrooms, are a series of windows. Leaning out of one such window is Naruto, looking at him with the same mild surprise he himself must display. As he watches, Naruto hops outside, landing onto the soft snow with barely a crunch.

He’s still wearing his mesh shirt and shinobi pants, straight out of a solo mission, but Sakura had forced him to swap his shinobi vest for a more pleasing brown jacket earlier. 

Now, with a careless motion of his hand, he tosses his vest to Shikamaru as he slowly approaches him. 

“You really ought to wear more layers, you know? It’s like you’re trying to get sick.” Naruto says as Shikamaru grabs the thrown piece of clothing with deft ease, pulling it on as the cigarette stays pinched between his lips. An instant warmth shrouds him and he turns away before exhaling. 

“Thanks,” Shikamaru says lightly, stubbing the cigarette against the stonewall and letting it fall to the ground. Naruto tracks the movement of the ash for a moment before meeting his gaze. “What were you doing popping out the window? I thought you were passed out on the table.”

Naruto’s lips upturn in a wry sort of way and he leans against the bricks, crossing his arms, his hands tucked away. “I was–for a while, anyway. The alcohol’s gotten to my head,” he blinks once, twice, staring at Shikamaru. “Yup. I’m still not seeing right. There’s a – like a – ” he motions with his hand vaguely, pointing above Shikamaru, “– a halo above your head? Move over. I think it’s the lights. Ah, I have a headache, too.” 

Shikamaru chuckles and obliges, joining Naruto, his back against the cold wall. They stand side by side, hearing the quiet spattering of snow, letting the chilly gusts flush their cheeks with colour. Naruto’s vest fits him just right, a secure cocoon of heat along with a thick scent of lemons and spice. 

“Let me guess,” Shikamaru says after a moment. “You were trying to dry heave out of the window, weren’t you?” 

Naruto regards him from the corner of his eyes, a sheepish smile slowly but surely overtaking his face. “In my defence, the bathroom was just too far away. I didn’t know if I’d make it.” 

“The bathroom’s at the end of the corridor,” Shikamaru rolls his eyes, a slanted smile pulling at his lips. “This is why you shouldn’t overdrink. It’s bad for your health and your intelligence.” 

“Says the serial smoker,” Naruto quirks a brow and nods at the muddied remains of his cigarette still lying conspicuously over a cover of snow. “We all have our indulgences.” 

Shikamaru sighs, acquiescing with an incline of his head. “You’re right,” after a pause, he continues, “I tried to leave it, you know. I tried to stop. But I couldn’t help myself, today. Remembering both of them always brings out the worst in me.” 

“If your worst is just smoking a cig, then trust me, you’re doing quite well,” Naruto replies with a look in his eyes that is both reassuring and empathetic all at once. Whenever they talk, Shikamaru can’t help but feel seen–as if the burdens they share are the very same, as if their differences only exist to amplify their similarities. “So,” Naruto continues, “What brought on the memories today?” 

Shikamaru’s gaze strays over the half-glass door again, his tone taking over a melancholic note, “My father wanted to see me get married. He always spoke of it as this sort of far-off joke–how he’d have to thank the girl that would put up with me, how he’d have to play shougi with her to see if she met the Nara standards, how mother would probably abandon him the moment she got a daughter-in-law to hang out with. When Asuma became my sensei, he’d sometimes come to the Compound and father and him would drink a few rounds in the backyard and they’d joke about becoming senile old men before I ever found my partner. Asuma-sensei tried to be a wingman for me once, you know? With Temari. It went as badly as you would imagine.” 

Naruto huffs a small laugh, gently patting his shoulder, holding it, for comfort. Shikamaru appreciates it, he really does. To feel so haunted by his memories on a day as auspicious as it is for his friends feels wrong somehow. He feels a little guilty to be out here, moping, instead of being inside, having a jolly time with Kiba and Hinata. But sometimes, he needs to take step back to take a step forward. 

Shikamaru takes one last look at the table inside before turning back. 

“I never got to tell him I like men,” Shikamaru admits quietly. “But I have a feeling my father knew. Maybe before even I did. He was pretty perceptive.” 

Naruto hums, “Yes. He probably did. Besides, parents are like that. You can’t hide anything from them. Not that I would know.” 

“You met your parents a few times, right?” Shikamaru asks, recalling something Naruto had once offhandedly mentioned. “How was that like?”

“Yes, I did,” Naruto says softly, a scene long past clearly playing behind his eyes. “It was amazing, Shika. Absolutely amazing. They were kind and wise and loving and everything I’d hope they’d be. But they were also... dead. Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t shared those moments with them. It made me dwell on what could have been. What should have been.”

“You’re allowed to think about it,” Shikamaru says matter-of-factly. “You are allowed to think you deserved better because you did.” 

Naruto’s brows furrow and he shoots Shikamaru a grateful smile. “I can always count on you to say kind things to me, huh?” 

Something twinges painfully in his chest at those words. Shikamaru’s only shown Naruto the kindness he himself has received but sometimes, he wishes to give the blond so much more. It is so easy to be kind, to be content, to be vulnerable, to be brave, to be alive when he’s with Naruto. It’s like no other company he’s ever been with. It gets to his head more than any spirit ever could. 

Shikamaru blinks, abruptly shifting his stance. “Do you like rings?” 

Naruto blinks, too, but no conversation pivots can throw him off. “Yeah, sure. Why?” 

“Because I don’t,” Shikamaru says, taking in a deep breath. From the edge of the awning, the black sky stretches–little twinkling dots like diamond dust scattered across. “Rings just feel so stiff and constricting and – and tight. I wish we had a better symbol for something as meaningful as what it promises and represents.” 

Shikamaru doesn’t expect to be laughed at, Naruto is the kind to take all his random musings and rambles seriously. But it still surprises him when Naruto turns a thoughtful expression towards him, eyes full of consideration and asks, “Well, what alternative would you prefer?” 

Shikamaru shrugs, “I don’t really know.” 

“That’s okay,” Naruto says. “You have plenty of time to figure it out.” 

“Do I?” Shikamaru asks. “I could die on my next shinobi undertaking. A kunai to the heart. It’s possible.” 

“Yes,” Naruto nods, giving him a pointed look. “But is it probable?” 

Shikamaru feels a familiar fondness curl deep inside him, rousing him in a way that has nothing to do with sleeping and waking. “Not really. I’m terribly skilled, you know? It’s not easy getting a jump on me.” 

“I still make you eat dust in all our spars, so if I were you, I wouldn’t be so sure of myself.” 

“You’re an exception, not the rule,” Shikamaru says. “I don’t think you realise how utterly uncommon it is to encounter an enemy nin who has fought off a literal goddess at sixteen.” 

“It was mostly just a lot of luck, Shika.” 

“Bullshit,” Shikamaru says mildly. “You don’t have to be so allergic to acknowledging your capabilities, you know?” 

“I’m barely allergic,” Naruto scoffs, smiling still. “I am well aware that I am a one of a kind ninja. I just like to be humble–a concept I’m sure you aren’t too familiar with.” 

“Why be humble when bragging is so much fun?” Shikamaru says, playful, mirth in his eyes. 

“Bragging is for losers,” Naruto says sagely. 

“Well, actually, I have rarely seen a loser brag. That’s more of a winner’s thing, don’t you think?” 

Naruto squints, “I think you might have just shattered my worldview. Give me a moment. I need to self-reflect.” 

Shikamaru laughs and it doesn’t take Naruto long to join in. It’s the breathless, giddy kind of laughter that makes Naruto’s shoulders shake and Shikamaru’s cheek hurt. 

For a moment, in between the huffy breaths and silly amusement, everything makes sense. He doesn’t know what makes sense or how it makes sense, just that it does. 

He stops and stares at Naruto as the blond continues to laugh, the sound warm and pleasant, his hair finger-comed to messy perfection. His eyes are just a touch darker, the blue having cooled down to the shade of deep ocean waters. 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru whispers and Naruto goes silent, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. It’s dramatic but Shikamaru feels a little insane. His thoughts are swirling, his mind is a confusing jumble of contradictions but there is clarity here somewhere and he grasps at it with reaching fingers, firmly holding on. 

“Shika?” Naruto asks, his forehead creasing but his eyes regard Shikamaru with curiosity alone. 

“You know I really fucking cherish you as a friend, don’t you?” Shikamaru asks. 

Naruto’s face softens and the air whirlwinds around them. “I do. Of course, I do.” 

“Good,” Shikamaru says, muttering, running a hand through his hair. “Good. Because I think I’m about to colosally fuck it all up.” 

Naruto frowns in confusion for a moment before something clicks with him and the next moment, his eyes widen, his lips part and he stares at Shikamaru with true wonder. 

“Shika... ” he says, then catches his breath. 

And that nickname uttered by Naruto triggers a lifetime of shared memories like sand rushing through a loose fist. It’s undeniable–this bond they have given birth to and shared, this friendship they have nurtured and grown. Years worth of silent companionship, of dancing around the periphery of each other’s lives, of being constants amidst all the change. 

The times spent in abandoned playgrounds and broken caves, atop sunlit hills and crowded buildings, in noisy classrooms and quiet graveyards.

Always finding some time to spend together, always finding meaning in each other. 

Somehow, somewhere, Naruto has become Shikamaru’s person. 

It all makes sense. 

It makes so much fucking sense. 

“Maybe it’s Hinata and Kiba being contagious or something,” Shikamaru says, his voice wavering, a little unsure. “And maybe I’m about to do something that I might massively regret. But I think – this feels right. To me. It does. I don’t know why I never considered–” 

Shikamaru stops and recentres himself. This isn’t the time to word vomit. “What I’m trying to say is... Do you want to go out for dinner sometime? For a date? We can do it casual or candlelight. It’s upto you. It’s just that... I like you, Naruto. I have always liked you, I think. Just in different ways, at different times. And you... ” 

Naruto’s face is full of open and delighted surprise, a sincere smile on his face as he listens to Shikamaru with utmost attention. 

“And I?” Naruto prompts. 

“You make me forget,” Shikamaru confesses and the simple statement is so true it almost steals his breath away. “You make me forget everything. It’s the best feeling in the world and I think I want more of that.” 

A pleased flush adds to the colour on Naruto’s cheeks and for a few seconds, they are both hopeful, they are both young. All the problems that loom above them seem distant – an echo of what they used to be. Maybe aging isn’t as graceless as Shikamaru had thought it. Maybe aging is about snatching these small moments in which they can choose be youthful once more. 

“I didn’t know you could say such romantic things, Shika,” Naruto says, his voice an odd mix of impressed and teasing. 

“I didn’t know I could, either,” Shikamaru replies, smiling. “I guess you just bring it out in me.” 

“Oh?” Naruto quirks a brow. “So we’re openly flirting now? My, you’re fast.” 

“Actually, I think I’ve been rather slow. So have you, infact.” 

Naruto’s smile turns into a small smirk, “Let’s make up for lost time then, shall we?” 

Shikamaru takes only a beat to understand the implication but by then, Naruto is already pulling them to the side, away from the windows and the view of their friends. He lands with his back to the wall, Naruto’s hands cupping his face, his blue eyes bright with want. Shikamaru wastes no time in familiarising his hands with the curves of Naruto’s body, landing on his waist. 

Their faces inch closer, Shikamaru’s anticipatory gaze entirely on Naruto’s. Slowly, their eyes shut close and their lips meet. The kiss is slow–probing, gentle, new. A little weird, too, but it’s full of the same hope Shikamaru is nursing in his chest, full of the same comfort Naruto gives him. His fingers grasp and clutch against the back of Naruto’s jacket, one hand slipping beneath to grip on the mesh. Naruto tilts his head, pressing into him, deepening their kiss, learning about each other as they go. 

It’s a few moments before Naruto parts, his hands still cupping his face. A frown covers his forehead as he tilts his head. 

“Wait,” he says. “I still haven’t given you a response. About the date.” 

Naruto’s lips are a brightened red, his hair tousled and misshapen due to Shikamaru’s ministrations. Shikamaru himself is breathing raggedly, his cheeks flushed darker than they ever have before. His ponytail has come undone, the hairtie lying somewhere in the dirt below. 

Shikamaru only gives Naruto a long look and waits. 

“Right,” Naruto shakes his head, an incredulous laugh slipping past his lips. “You’re right.” 

And then they’re kissing again, still slow, still tentative, still learning, still hoping. 

Still young. 

Shikamaru smiles into their kiss, tightening his hold onto Naruto and wonders what will come of this. It may end up being magical or it may end up being disastrous. But for now, it doesn’t matter; he’s content. 

After all, there isn’t a better lover for a person than a friend and Shikamaru knows he’s found both in Naruto. 

Chapter Text

Naruto jogs lightly towards the expansive bank of Lake Kahori. It helps him work off the inklings of nerves that are slowly whirling his mind into a frenzy. The weight in his pant pocket is both comforting and incredibly daunting, so he tries his best to not think about it. For now, out of sight, out of mind will be his mantra. 

The sun beats down on him mercilessly today, summer taking shape in full form through the sweat that beads on his forehead and down his back. Flowers bloom in colourful vibrance the deeper he goes into the forested territories and birds chirp and sing merrily in chaotic symphony. To help with the heat, he’s dressed in a plain white shirt but it’s a new piece–one he bought just last week for a rather undernegotiated price from one of Konoha’s most esteemed civilian clothing stores. He is definitely dressed to impress. 

He comes to a halt at the edge of the woods leading to a vast clearing. Glancing down, he notes the specks of dirt collected on his black shinobi sandals and on his feet. He bends and flicks the small grains away, wiggling his toes to dislodge any left inbetween. 

Everything needs to be perfect, today. 

He takes a huge breath and finger-combs his hair once more. Then, with a smile on his face, he slowly approaches the bank where a silhouette seems to be seated on an anchored, unmoving boat. 

Shikamaru turns around just as Naruto nears him. A sideways smile slowly pulls at his lips–a smile Naruto will never tire of seeing. Dressed in a dark green t-shirt and loose-fitted brown pants, Shikamaru looks divine. Thanks to his new boating hobby, he is much more tan than usual and as is tradition for all their dates, his hair is untied, falling down to his neck in long, spiky strands. 

“You’re late again,” Shikamaru says as a way of greeting, his tone as teasing as it is fond. 

Naruto carefully climbs onto the boat, balancing till the wobbling subsides. He takes a seat across Shikamaru, their knees touching, “Not my fault this place is in the middle of fuck knows where. I’ll have to revoke your date-deciding rights after this.” 

Shikamaru chuckles before gazing right into his eyes, “Come here.”

With a smile, Naruto lets himself be pulled by the collar, his lips meeting Shikamaru for a gentle but meaningful kiss. It lasts a few seconds and then they sit there, Naruto almost straddling Shikamaru, heads pressed together, their breaths warm and ragged as they soak each other’s presence in. 

It’s been four years and Naruto still can’t get enough of Shikamaru. 

“How did your mission go?” Shikamaru asks, eyes lingering on his lips. 

Naruto shrugs lightly, “Pretty standard. Ran into a few B-ranked rogues but they were dispatched pretty quickly. What about you? Enjoyed Bee’s company?” 

Despite their positions, Shikamaru rolls his eyes, managing to pin Naruto with a dirty look. “Hardly. I don’t understand how you get along with that man. I wouldn’t have a problem with all the rapping if it was any good. But it’s the opposite of good. It’s torture.” 

Naruto laughs – he can’t help it. Through the years, many things have changed and evolved but Shikamaru’s disdain for Bee is as constant as ever. 

“You just don’t understand art, Shika,” he says with a sweet, symapthetic voice. “One day, you too will bow down to Bee’s greatness. Mark my words.” 

Shikamaru pulls him in for another quick kiss, one hand cupping the side of his face, thumb caressing the loosely falling curls of his hair. With barely an inch of distance between them, Shikamaru mutters, “That’s the last of Bee being mentioned on one of our dates. I’m sick of him already.”

Naruto’s lips quirk up teasingly but he nods and hesitantly eases back into his seat. The boat is unmoored in record time and Shikamaru slowly steers them away from the bank. 

The sunlight slants down in warm streaks across the lakewater surface, mellow waves yielding and unyielding in rippling sparkles. Naruto lets himself relax against the wooden slats, sitting cross-legged, his hands stretched out as he stares at Shikamaru row their vessel with the grace that only comes with practice.

Silver and orange-scaled blurs swiftly move around the waters, the abundance of sweetfish, amago and cherry salmon keeping them company. Kahori Lake used to be a hotspot for fishing but the tough climb up has severely reduced the footfall. Which makes it the perfect place for Shikamaru’s boating and cloud gazing hobbies–and an even more perfect location for their date, especially today. 

“The weather is pretty good, isn’t it?” Naruto asks once the land grows faint in the distance. 

Shikamaru idly wipes at the sweat on his forehead, his grip on the oars perfectly intact. “Are you seriously trying to make small talk with me?” 

“No,” Naruto rolls his eyes, his head tilted up as he lets the summer breeze freshen him up. “I find the weather a very stimulating topic of conversation.” 

“Last time we spoke, you said the climate was pretty ‘meh’,” Shikamaru reminds him but he’s got a small unshakeable smile on his face. 

Naruto pops open an eye and regards him with faux-sternness, “‘Meh’ is a very eloquent descriptor. You’d do well to remember that.” 

Shikamaru chuckles and he sounds so simply content, so simply amused, it reminds Naruto for the hundredth time why he is in love with the man. He can’t stop the silly laugh that bubbles forth, either. This is exactly what he needs after a tiring month of on-field reconnaissance and fighting. Though he rarely takes on solo missions anymore, when he does, they’re more taxing than they are rewarding. Getting to be with Shikamaru at the end of it all, though, makes it worth it. 

“Your usual bullshit aside,” Shikamaru says pointedly. “I have some news for you. Suna has finally recovered financially enough to restart their annual Sakyu festival and Gaara has invited both of us as his personal guests to attend it later this year. You need to send him a confirmation reply by the end of the week.” 

Naruto’s chest fills with instant warmth. To see Gaara lead Suna with such efficient pragmatism but also humanity always makes him unbelievably proud of his friend. He will need to write to Gaara later anyway, given how he intends for this day to end, so a reply about the festival can go hand-in-hand. Refraining from mentioning it to Shikamaru, he just nods, “That’s so cool. We can have a mini-vacation together this way, too. It’ll be real fun!” 

“Speaking of mini-vacations,” Shikamaru says, seguing as usual. “I heard Sasuke’s going to return to Konoha after summer. Is it true?” 

Naruto sighs and straightens up, finding a freely given understanding in Shikamaru’s eyes. Brows furrowed, he replies, “No. It’s not. Sakura’s been constantly sending him letters and he does reply to her more often that he does anyone else but it seems he’s set on this journey of atonement. We won’t see him back here for atleast a few years.” 

“Oh,” Shikamaru says, his eyes far off and that’s a little odd. “Won’t he consider coming back for something major? Like our...” 

Naruto blinks. That’s even more odd. Usually, Shikamaru is the least affected when it comes to Sasuke’s life choices. To see him look close to concerned over this recent revelation is weird, to say the least. 

“Like our what?” 

Shikamaru lightly shakes his head and his expression smoothens so naturally, Naruto is almost fooled. “Forget that. We’re approaching the centre. Come on. Get the food out.” 

With a briefly lingering look, Naruto unhooks the small scroll from his pants’ belt loop. For now, he will let the matter rest. It won’t be the first time Shikamaru acts a little cagey about sharing things with him–though they have gotten better at communicating massively since the start of their relationship. Sooner or later, Shikamaru will come clean and all Naruto has to do is wait. 

By the time, Naruto unfurls the storage scroll and slowly pulls out each wrapped box–all five of them–along with two bamboo canisters, Shikamaru has stopped rowing completely. The boat buoys in the calmness of the lake, their view from here consisting of the faraway dirt bank and the green hilltops to their sides. 

Together, they unwrap each lunchbox, the food within still hot. In no time, their little bubble is full of the steamy smells of rice, vegetables, spice and tofu. Though there is no ramen present, Naruto is pretty proud to have managed making their lunch for the day. The yakitori skewers are a little dry but the glaze is perfect. Sushi rolls fill up the entirety of one box while another is full of onigirazu. Sandwiches and potato salad add another dose of flavor and their canisters, of course, contain warm miso soup. 

Shikamaru looks at him with thinly veiled awe, “How did you find the time? When you said you’d make lunch, I thought you’d get maybe one serving of onigiri.” 

Naruto waves him off, “It’s no big deal. I did the meal prep last night and I wanted today to be... special,” he shrugs, rubbing the back of his hair, a small smile tacked on his lips. “It’s our first boat date, you know? I had to up my game.” 

Shikamaru takes a bite of a sandwich and starts nodding in the way that Naruto knows means approval. “This is good,” he says, emphasizing the words while still chewing. 

Naruto narrows his eyes, swallowing a morsel of salad. “You sound surprised.” 

Shikamaru continues eating bits from each box, “Well, I am. There is a reason we usually stick to restaurants for our lunches. Have you been practicing cooking?” 

Sometimes, it’s a real point of annoyance to have a boyfriend as observant as Shikamaru.

“Stop interrogating me about it and just enjoy your meal,” Naruto grumbles. There is no way he will admit to the painstaking hours spent honing his knife skills just to get the vegables cut down to the right size. All his sacrifices for this lunch will be taken to his grave. “Also, there’s a rice grain in your hair.” 

Shikamaru halts mid-chewing and brushes his hair with his clean hand. “Are you pranking me?” 

Naruto’s smile widens, “You fall for it everytime.” 

Shikamaru sighs, smiling, and opens up the canisters. Taking a sip, he says, “I trust you way too much. It’s bad for my health.” 

“That genuinely offends me, Shika,” Naruto replies, tasting some miso soup as well. It’s a little flat on saltiness but he did his best. “My only aim is to increase your life expectancy and I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it.” 

“Hardly,” Shikamaru says dryly. “You’re the prime reason for my faint heart. The Hokage told me you volunteered to look after the beasts in the Forest of Death for the chunin exams. I’m sure you don’t realise it but for us plebeian shinobi, that is a suicide mission.” 

“Oh, I do realise it,” Naruto says sweetly. “But I am no plebeian shinobi, am I?” 

“You accused me of being cocky once, but now look at you.” 

Naruto winks and snatches the piece of oniragazu from his hand before Shikamaru can so much as blink. “What can I say? I learnt from the best.” 

Shikamaru shakes his head and though he tries his best to appear cross with Naruto, he ends up looking fond. “That was a dirty trick, Naruto. A real violation of our food-code.” 

“I sincerely apologize,” Naruto says, grinning. “My repentance letter will be on your desk by tomorrow morning.” 

“Good lad,” Shikamaru says before huffing a laugh. “Remember three years ago – when you sent that apology letter for installing a cuckoo bird alarm clock in Kakashi’s office? You drove him up the wall with that one.” 

“Of course, I remember,” Naruto says as Shikamaru gazes up at the clouds, taking a break from eating for a while. “It was some of my best work. Kakashi-sensei has that letter framed in his apartment. Said it made him tear up.” 

“Finally a Hokage who has a sense of humor,” Shikamaru comments. “I thought we’d never see the day.” 

“My dad was a pretty funny guy,” Naruto says. “Atleast according to sensei.” 

“Since we’re on the topic,” Shikamaru replies, looking at him now, his entire body shifting to give him utmost attention. “How are you feeling about the eventuality of your Hokageship? Another four years to go but time’s going to fly by.” 

Naruto forces himself to be relaxed but he places the lunchbox down and leans towards Shikamaru. They talk about this every now and then–Shikamaru has made it a point to check up on him. In that first year of his training, the self-doubt had been constant. He’s not exactly great at expressing his insecurities, he prefers to deal with them on his own but once Shikamaru had somehow wheelded them out, he’d realised that verbalising his problems was necessary. 

In some ways, Shikamaru is the only person he trusts the weaker parts of himself with. 

“I’m feeling fine,” Naruto says with a deep breath. And it’s true. He has finally found the stability in himself to be content with his future, to both accept and understand the burdens he will soon have to carry. Children are always encouraged to dream big but no one tells them that big dreams come at big prices. Naruto has paid those prices ten times over and now, he is ready to become the Hokage, ready to fulfill the ambition he’s been proclaiming since before he became a genin. He’s fine.

“I really am. And you’re going to be with me every step of the way. Are you still sure you want to be my glorified assistant for the rest of eternity, though? Sounds like a shit job, to be honest.” 

With a slight smile, Shikamaru gives him an exasperated look, “I’m going to be your advisor, not assistant. We’ve been over this.” 

“You know you only say that to make yourself feel better,” Naruto responds. There is no greater joy in the world than teasing Shikamaru. 

“As your future advisor, I advise you to jump off the boat right this instant.” 

“That’s some really poor advice,” Naruto says, with mock-chiding tone. “Clearly, you need to work on your advisor-skills. Which, I must remind you again, is a totally delusional job you have created for yourself.” 

Shikamaru doesn’t grace him with a verbal response. He picks up a potato and hurls it towards his mouth. Naruto dodges easily with a smirk but it’s the thought that counts. 

“When the Land of Rivers comes knocking with a waterway conflict in five years, don’t come begging me for help,” Shikamaru replies, crossing his arms. 

Naruto raises his hands in placation, his demeanor switching immediately. “Woah. Hey, hey. Don’t go cold on me, Shika. Of course, you’ll be my wonderful, resourceful advisor,” then, slowly, he cracks another smile. “After all, I need someone to row a boat to the Land of Rivers and you seem to be up for the task.”

A cold splash of water hits him square in the face and he laughs, knowing he deserves this one. Naruto rubs his face and Shikamaru pins him with a threatening look. “That was highly rejuvenating. Thank you.” 

He greets the next splash with a grin on his face. 

“You’re impossible,” Shikamaru says, groaning into his hands. “I’m a saint for putting up with you.” 

Naruto uses his sleeve to dry himself off and shoves some yakitori meat into his mouth. “But I made you lunch. I can’t be that bad, can I?” 

“No, you’re even worse,” Shikamaru informs him with a straight face. He resumes sipping his soup. “By the way, I met Sai yesterday. Still a lovely conversationalist.” 

Picking up on the sarcasm, Naruto gives Shikamaru a symapthetic look. “Did he gift you an ink-rat, too?” 

“An ink-eel, actually,” Shikamaru corrects, an odd wonder in his voice. “The poor thing dissolved into a black blob after a few hours but I think Sai was misinformed about me wanting a pet eel?” 

“I hope you know that’s Ino’s doing,” Naruto says. “She has fully weaponised Sai’s art jutsu for her nefarious purposes.” 

“What is with you blondes and pranking people?” Shikamaru asks aloud, his eyes cast heavenward as if in silent prayer. 

“There’s rice in your hair.” 

“It won’t work on me twice, Naruto.”

“But I am not lying,” Naruto says with a shrug. “I warned you. My job’s done.” 

With a boatload of reluctance, Shikamaru pats down his hair and Naruto’s ‘gotcha’ smirk surfaces with astonishing speed. 

Another splash attacks Naruto, this time on his chest and a shocked laugh splits past his lips. 

“Are you doing this purposely?” Shikamaru asks. “So I splash you enough that your shirt goes transparent?” 

Naruto chuckles, “Wouldn’t you like that?” 

Shikamaru nods unashamedly, “I would. But I’m getting that thing off you later, anyway. There’s no rush.” 

“Your place or mine?” Naruto inquires mildly, feeling the weight in his pocket multiply the farther downward the sun goes in the distance. How are they almost done with eating already? 

“Mine,” Shikamaru says. “I got new mattresses from that handcraft artisan. They’re super fucking soft.” 

Naruto drops open his mouth in affront, “I told you to get some for me, too! This is betrayal, Shika!” 

Shikamaru’s sheepishness is easy to spot but he shrugs, “It was first come, first serve. The artisan didn’t have enough time to prepare a bigger order. Next time, I’ll get you the wool ones.” 

“Or, you know, I can come sleep in your bed.” 

Shikamaru doesn’t so much as blink his eyes as he replies, “You do that half the nights we’re both in the village, anyway. So, that’s fine by me. Just carry your own blanket, okay? Mine’s way too small for the both of us.” 

“That’s the point,” Naruto says with a roll of his eyes. It is always comforting to know how onboard Shikamaru is with the idea of him in his room, his house, his space. They’ve spoken about it before – about living together and being roommates. But Shikamaru has to continue residing in the Nara Compound and leaving his mother isn’t something either of them want. Having their own homes isn’t a bad thing, either. It’s just twice the amount of space for them to share together. 

Still, Naruto knows things might change after this date. After this day.

“Hey, Naruto?” Shikamaru says after a beat of silence. He’s frowning down at the meagre remains of their lunch. “I have something to tell you. To ask you.” 

Naruto wonders for a moment what it could be about but a gong is rumbling deeply in his mind.

It’s time. This is it. 

He braces himself and says, “Before that, I need to get something out, Shika. It’s really important and I –” he exhales and waits till Shikamaru meets his gaze, looking both confused and curious. “Can you just please close your eyes for a moment?” 

Shikamaru holds his gaze and slowly, his lids fall close. He always knows when to prod and when to let Naruto take his time with things. If he wasn’t so tense, Naruto would’ve kissed him from gratitude alone. 

As things are, it takes all of his willpower to not shout out of sheer nerves. Quickly but carefully, he re-stores all the boxes and the two canisters. With shaky legs, he stands up in the space between their two seats. The boat wobbles and with his eyes still shut, Shikamaru asks, worry in his voice, “Naruto? What are you doing? Are you alright?” 

“Just fine,” Naruto assures. His hand goes into his pocket, closing around the small velvet-covered box. Lovingly, he pulls it out, letting the gravity of his decision, the gravity of this moment truly sink in and settle warmly into his bones. The smile that overcomes his face is the most hopeful one he’s ever known. Though the next few minutes might be a terrifying prospect, the fears, the doubts are entirely absent. 

Naruto has never been more sure of anything in his entire life. Shikamaru is his person. There is nothing uncertain about what’s to come. 

With one last breath, he eases down to one knee, holding the box in one of his hands, placed on his thigh. There is very little space on the boat, so his leg nudges Shikamaru’s. 

“Okay. You can look now,” Naruto says and Shikamaru does. 

Their gazes meet and Shikamaru’s deep brown eyes assess his position and the box in milliseconds. His eyes widen, brows rising in surprise. The second wave of emotion is that of joy but the third–and this one stumps Naruto–is of pure amusement. 

Shikamaru laughs incredulously, shaking his head. He mutters, “I cannot believe this.” 

Naruto holds him off with his free hand. “I’m the one talking right now and you need to listen. Save the hysterics for later.” 

“But I also–” 

“Hush,” Naruto says, knowing there’s a faint tremor in his voice. Today, he won’t let anything stop him from speaking his heart to Shikamaru, not even Shikamaru himself. “Please. I need to get this out.” 

Shikamaru’s smile softens and he closes his mouth, waiting patiently, seeming expectant now. 

“You know that I love you, Shika,” Naruto starts, willing his voice to convey his sincerity. Shikamaru nods and he continues, “But your thickhead doesn’t understand just how much. I love you to bits, to pieces, to microdust. I love you more than you love your stupid cloud-watching, more than Kakashi loves his porn book, more than Kaguya loved killing us all–” 

Shikamaru chuckles and it only emboldens Naruto. “–I love you more than you can frankly comprehend. I love you more than I love ramen. Do you understand that? Between a piping hot bowl of ramen and your annoying ass–I’m choosing you. You’re my person, my other half, my partner-in-non-crime. I know I keep teasing you like a thirteen year old boy who got his first crush but Shika, you are absolutely the most wonderful person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.” 

Naruto sucks in a breath, feeling both surefooted and off-kilter all at once. Shikamaru is looking at him with such intensity, with such love, he momentarily forgets that he’s supposed to be talking. There is no judgement behind Shikamaru’s eyes, just appreciation and it makes this so much easier. 

“You make my heart fucking sing, Shika. Like honest to gods, opera-singing. Like violins playing, the clarinet blaring, the trumpet being let loose. I love spending time with you. I love knowing you, knowing about you. I love laughing with you, eating with you, hugging you, sleeping with you and next to you. I love calling you Shika, I love taking you out on dates, I love preparing a lunch for you that took three months of pre-planning and two smoked kitchens,” Naruto smiles because Shikamaru is smiling too, managing to somehow look smug but sweet. “I just love... you. The whole of you. The none of you. The less of you. The more of you. Does that even make sense? I love you. I want to keep loving you. And I really fucking hope you’d give me the chance to. I do think we’re, like, proper soulmates, Shika, because I’ve been monologuing about you for the last five minutes and I don’t think any non-soulmate would do that for you.” 

With a hand steadier than Naruto had hoped for, he opens up the box. 

“So,” he says, “I know I’m only half as intelligent as you and only twice as handsome as you, but would you like to be stuck with me for the rest of our lives? I can’t guarantee that I’ll stop the dumb jokes and the childish pranks but I’ll cook more often for you – though weekends are for takeout and I can be less messy if you ask for it though it’s going to be tough. When you sing in the shower, I will tell you your voice is heavenly. When you want to cloud-watch, I’ll get you a parasol to help with the tan. I will probably not stop annoying you but I can give you seventy-five percent of each soap bar and the superior side of the bed. I will keep calling you my personal assistant but you will always be the most important person in the world for me, even when I’m Hokage. What I’m saying is, I will compromise. I will be someone you can lean on, someone you can grow old with. You won’t get such a good deal anywhere else, Shika. You really won’t. But neither will I. So, will you marry me, Shikamaru Nara? Please say yes or I might jump into the water and let the fish eat me.” 

Shikamaru laughs again but it sounds wet, like he’s holding back tears himself. 

“You idiot,” he says, trying to groan but he’s laughing too hard for that. When he calms down, he sighs, and holds Naruto’s free hand in both of his. “You beat me to it. Goddamnit.” 

Naruto blinks, “Beat you to what?” 

“What do you think?” Shikamaru laughs again. “Shove over, you fool. It’s my turn.” 

Naruto doesn’t move for a moment, his brain a little slow to process. He frowns in confusion, “You – you need to answer! Yes or no?”

“That can wait,” Shikamaru says, dusting off his pants as he stands up and lightly kicks Naruto. “I said move over.” 

Finally catching upto to what’s happening, Naruto slowly gets up and takes back his seat as Shikamaru gets on his knee in front of him, pulling out his own small sleek wooden box to present to Naruto. Of all the things he’d expected, this bewildering role-reversal wasn’t one of them. 

Nodding at Naruto’s befuddled expression, Shikamaru says, “Exactly. What were the odds, right? I thought I was the quicker one–” he shakes his head, lowering it for a moment to wipe the amusement off of it. When he looks up, the mirth still underlies his eyes but there is something undeniably genuine about the way he regards Naruto. 

“I cannot believe this,” Naruto says this time, breathy laughter accompanying his words. Now that the shock has worn off, he can see the humor of the situation. Kami, they’re both insufferable. He can just imagine the looks they will receive from their friends once they share their proposal story with them. 

“Me neither,” Shikamaru says. His smile subdues and he places the box on the side of his seat gently. He takes both of Naruto’s hands in his own this time around, one thumb idly caressing his skin soothingly. 

“But let me get started, alright?” he says. “I have alot to say to you, as well.” 

Naruto nods and he’s warm and tingling in a way that has nothing to do with the heat. This moment has just begun but he would give up anything for it to last longer, for it to stay suspended in this blissful blockade. 

“When we started dating... I told you I wanted to be with you because you make me forget,” Shikamaru says slowly, choosing every word of his with care and deliberation. “But that’s not true. You don’t make me forget, Naruto. You make me remember. You make me remember everything. You remind me of what’s important, what’s trivial, what’s bygone, what’s coming. You remind me of how to live in the moment, how to laugh in the moment, how to be kind to myself. You make me remember everyday why I love you and why I want to keep loving you. You make me remember why I do certain things or why I say certain things. You anchor me to life and living, Naruto. You do, as dramatic as it may sound.” 

“Fuck, you’ll make me cry,” Naruto says, his throat closing, blinking his eyes. He’s always been the one to cry first amongst the two of them and today will not be any different. Shikamaru simply smiles and when the first tear falls, it’s understood it’s a truly happy one. 

“Your chaos somehow calms me, which is a pretty mindfucking thought to have but it’s the truth. I hate noise and loud people and yet I love you. I hate being productive outside of necessity yet here I am, in the middle of a lake, hundreds of feet atop a mountain, just to row a boat for you. I love tying up my hair yet I love letting you see me with my hair down. I hate people touching me but intimacy with you is one of the most comforting things in the world. Do you have any idea how confusing that is for me? How all these little conundrums compound in my head till I can’t think straight–yes, okay, you can laugh, the pun was unintentional–and do you see how I can always find it in myself to be accomodating for you when everyone else intruding in my space just end up being annoyances?” 

Naruto is, indeed, laughing but the love that swells within him, for Shikamaru, is true and full and uncontainable. 

“You keep undoing me, Naruto Uzumaki and I really do not appreciate it but I need you to keep at it. Never stop, despite my protests. Because you understand me like no one else. You are like no one else. I will never tire of being with you, of eating with you, of laughing with you, of getting annoyed at you, of throwing water at you. I will never regret one second I spent sharing with you because you make it worth it, time and time again. You could be drooling in your sleep and I will still find you the most amazing person on the planet. Yeah, I’m kind of hopelessly in love with you – and kami bless me for it – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

Shikamaru picks up the box again, opening it up, revealing a shiny, elegant wedding band. 

“The thing is, Naruto, I’m never letting you go. I can’t. I enjoy your company way too much for that to happen. You give me joy, you give me space, you give me the best hugs and now, you even give me great food. Ino called you husband material and you need you to know that I ardently agree with that assessment. But I promise I will do my best for you, too. I will be the paste to your toothbrush, the heart to your beats, the butter to your bread. I will work on bettering my, uhhh, metaphors and I will make our bed each morning. Maybe. We can do fifty-fifty. I will prepare hot baths for you and I will clean up after you, sometimes. I will stay up late for you when you’re out on missions and yell at you for risking your life. I will be the best goddamned Hokage advisor this village has ever seen and I will prank you back when you piss me off. I will plan elaborate, labor-involving dates and I will forget our anniversaries but the moment you remind me, I will somehow manage to get you an awesome gift. If I’m grouchy, just jutsu me to sleep. I won’t fight with you much, I genuinely don’t have the energy for it but any disagreements, we will resolve in a logical manner. Or we can hug it out. Both ways work. Wait–does it sound like I’m sales-pitching you our marriage?” 

Naruto huffs a laugh again, “Maybe a little.” 

Shikamaru groans, “You will do our collective speeches, alright? Anyway, as I was saying, we are factually perfect for each other and not marrying each other would be a slight against humankind itself. So, let’s save ourselves the horrible consequences of snubbing destiny’s own wishes and marry each other, okay? But for formality’s sake, Naruto Uzumaki, do you agree to become my lawful husband and shackle yourself to a lifetime of awesomeness in the form of yours truly?” 

Naruto laughs yet again. There will be no end to his joy today. “Do you see why I called you the cocky one? You’re so full of yourself!” 

“For good reason,” Shikamaru says, smiling so wide his cheeks must hurt. 

“Ugh,” Naruto utters and extends his hands, wiggling his fingers. “Yes, yes, gods, yes! I agree to put up with your bullshit till I’m tossed into a grave! Come on, now! Put the ring on. It’s so fucking pretty!” 

Shikamaru gladly obliges. The ring slides on like its made for his finger– which it is, and Naruto instantly clutches it close to his chest, cradling it like a newborn. 

“I love it,” he whispers. “Thank you, Shika. Thank you so much.” 

“I’m still waiting for you to put mine on,” Shikamaru says, extending his own hand now as he sits on the raised slat again. 

“Oh, right,” Naruto says, quickly taking the box and pulling out the jewellery from inside it. He eyes Shikamaru’s hand, “That won’t be necessary.” 

Shikamaru frowns and retracts his arm, following Naruto’s every movement as he leans forward. Holding him by the chin, Naruto gently turns Shikamaru’s head, exposing his side and his ear. 

He removes the small black stud and hands it to Shikamaru. The silver ring-like object in the box was a earring–one which he secures on Shikamaru’s ear with a small screw. 

“You said you found rings restricting,” Naruto says as an explanation, reading the question in Shikamaru’s eyes. 

Shikamaru nods, sighing in contentment, and pulls Naruto by the wrist till he’s almost sitting in Shikamaru’s lap once more. 

This time, when they kiss, it’s slow but fierce. There is no rush anymore–just a steady assurance that they have all the he time in the world to be together, to keep exploring life with the other by their side. It’s both a heady and a humbling realisation. 

Naruto’s hands bury into Shikamaru’s hair, playing with it, caressing it, his head bent low as he deepens their kiss. Shikamaru’s arms wrap around his waist, his face titled up as he adjusts his grip on Naruto. Sweat curls down their faces and necks, Naruto’s wet shirt clinging to his skin. Shikamaru breaks off their kiss first, breathing raggedly. 

“Holy shit,” he mutters. “We are engaged.” 

“I’m happy, Shika,” Naruto admits and kisses him again. “I am so fucking happy.” 

Shikamaru nods against the kiss, “The feelings are completely mutual.” 

“I know they are,” Naruto says, parting. With his characteristic mischief pulling at his lips and pooling in his eyes, he slowly gets up, one hand firmly wrapped around Shikamaru’s arm. 

Shikamaru realises what he’s upto with the first step Naruto takes towards the gunwale. But Naruto is too quick and Shikamaru too unmotivated to stop him. 

With two swift maneuvers, both Naruto and Shikamaru land headfirst into the water, scattering the lazily swimming fish this way and that. They come up for air, floating in the middle of Lake Kahori, their arms wrapped around each other. 

“Will you leave me to drown if I say I’m wet for you, Shika?” Naruto says, smiling teasingly. 

Shikamaru laughs, “Are you crazy? No, I won’t.” 

“Do you want to try and hold our breaths for an underwater kiss?” 

Shikamaru laughs harder, “No. That’s just–no!” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun!”

“You’re insane,” Shikamaru says, slicking back his hair from his eyes and forehead. He feels giddy, excited, jubilant like he’s back to being a five year old kid who believed in possibilities. 

“An abovewater kiss is just as memorable,” Shikamaru says, wrapping his legs lightly around Naruto, his arms thrown around his fiancé’s shoulders. He’s beginning to feel cold but the warmth amongst the two of them is solid and safe and permanent. 

“Alright, you bore,” Naruto says, smiling. “I did say I would compromise.” 

The sun is mellow now, the waters growing a tad more turbulent as afternoon becomes older. Their boat is still just a few feet away, empty and silent. Birds chirp on the hills, the bank visible but far enough away to be a vague dream and amidst this wonderful mundanity, Shikamaru and Naruto kiss again, sealing their promise and their love. 

In a few years, Shikamaru will fondly call their marriage ‘troublesome’ and Naruto will playfully complain about his personal assistant. But even as youth will wear off, as middle-age will weather their shiny eyes and too-wide smiles, they will continue to be in love and give each other love. 

There will be fights, there will moments of ugliness and hurt but they will overcome them with hard-earned empathy and meaningful apologies. Even those fights will become memories – to be cherished and remembered. 

Through the years, time will test their bond and sometimes, they will fumble, sometimes, they will fall but each and every time, they will get back up, supporting each other, always together. 

The love won’t falter, the companionship won’t weaken. The marriage will grow old with them. 

But for now, Naruto simply tightens his hold on Shikamaru, fingers digging into his back, their kiss long and sweet and true. 

This is just the beginning, after all.