Chapter Text
7 October, 2012
Emergency!
15 year old
cut too deep
17 October, 2012
“I hope we don’t meet again ha ha, goodbye.”
27 November, 2012
“Why do you keep doing it!?”
“Why can’t you get better?”
“You’re sick!”
“We’re tired of you!”
30 November, 2012
“Is it getting bad again? Do you want to talk about it?”
1 December, 2012
“You’re the worst mistake we ever made!”
30 December, 2012
“This is your room”
Jungkook lays in the single bed, staring at the ceiling like he always does. He glances at the window, he thinks he hates it but not so much, it’s still better than the one at home. He had asked his parents to repair it when it broke but they installed a wooden block instead, leaving no space for sightseeing.
Jungkook often wonders how things would’ve been different if he had just been normal, like everybody else. He wonders what other kids feel. He wants to experience living life like a normal sane person too.
His family thinks he loves living in this sadness but nobody bothered to actually ask him what led him to go to the extent to harm himself. They’d rather call his acts sin than regarding them as a psychological issue. He hates, no, loathes them. Only if he was a normal kid, oh he wishes to satisfy them and make them happy but everytime he tries to, he ends up being a disappointment which leds him to just, you know, relapse.
A loud knock comes on Jungkook’s door breaking his train of thoughts, he doesn’t move though, expecting another nurse to come and lecture him about the rules and medicines. When no voice is heard, he tilts his head, what a weird looking boy he thinks when he sees a boy moving his inspecting eyes across his room, “what do you want?” he enquires quite aggressively, not intended but coming off rude anyway.
“You're new here?” the weird boy asks, making Jungkook groan, he doesn’t like making friends, it ends up the same way every single time. The moment they learn about him, they start making fun of him, call him names and then leave, he’s had enough.
“What the fuck do you want, weirdo?” so he says instead. ouch.
The boy hanging by the door’s edge fully enters the room, “why are you so rude?”
Jungkook sighs, god, people are so dense sometimes.
“I’m new” he chooses to answer instead, there’s no way he’s going to start a fight on his first day here. The weird boy beams, making his way to Jungkook’s bed now, the latter yelps, going all high pitched on the weird boy, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Stay away from me.”
The weird boy stops in his tracks, smiling now. He’s definitely a psycho, Jungkook concludes.
“What’s your name?” the boy asks, standing in the middle of the room.
Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh of defeat and disappointment, “Jungkook. You?” he asks, just because, he doesn’t know, he just wants to get rid of the weirdo.
“Taehyung!” the boy beams, “So, today’s my birthday and I’ve invited the whole hospital. I’d love to have you there!” the weird boy, now named Taehyung says with so much excitement Jungkook almost cringes. Boy looks fifteen the least. Why’s he acting like a kid? God, weirdo.
“You don’t even know me?” Jungkook settles with an excuse, who the hell would want to go to a birthday party in a damn hospital?
“We could get to know each other, no? We live on the same floor either way.” he exclaims, joining his hands. “Please, I would love to have you there. There’ll be a lot of people and you could find friends there? I’m assuming you’re going to stay for a long time since you got your own room?”
Jungkook’s sick of hearing the same damn thing. how dare he assume what he is here for? How fucking dare he?
“Get the fuck out of my room” he yells so loud, a nurse comes running towards his room, opening the door with a loud thud, panicking when she sees Taehyung in the room, quickly making an action of holding his hand and asking him to follow her out of the room.
Jungkook lets out deep breaths to calm himself down, god, no no is he going to relapse? Oh no
He curls himself in a ball and lies back on the bed, drowning in his own agony. He loathes this place already.
Jungkook wakes up hours later, feeling a slight ache in his back, from all the sleeping and lying in the bed, he suppose.
He walks to the bathroom to wash his face, but as soon as he lifts his face to look at himself, He turns his head down, as if he’s ashamed to face himself, he thinks he’s ugly, not even the physical kind but the mental and emotional kind, where you can’t face yourself even in your dreams, that kind of ugly. He looks away in dismay and walks back to his bed. He peeks out of the window and is just about to do his micro interpretations on all the scenery around when he’s interrupted with the door opening, a nurse entering, the same one who had dragged the weird boy out of Jungkook’s room this afternoon.
She smiles in Jungkook’s direction which Jungkook obviously doesn’t reciprocate, he sits silently as she pops the pills out of the packets and hands them over to him. “I’m sorry about earlier, Taehyung runs like that all the time” she chuckles but Jungkook only grimaces in her direction, “I don’t like him.” he says with certainty to which the nurse purses her lips, “today’s his birthda-”
Jungkook interrupts, “I know and I don’t care” the nurse gestures him to open his mouth, to check if he swallowed the pills, “he invited the whole hospital, he has been running around all day” she says as she settles the glass of water on her sliding tray, Jungkook acts like he isn’t listening, “nobody came.” she mentions while leaving the room. Jungkook still acts like he didn’t pay any mind to her words.
Taehyung is seated in his room when a knocking sound is heard and the door springs open, he gleams in anticipation, “happy birthday Taehyung!” the nurse softly beams giving a flying kiss in his direction which Taehyung grabs, making a sound of whoosh, and the action of trapping it inside his heart, he smiles in her direction, “thanks, nurse blue” she hands him his pills and waits for him to swallow, “You decorated all of this on your own?” the nurse asks, already knowing the answer, taehyung nods. They stay in silence for a few minutes, expecting Taehyung to say something, but when he doesn’t she makes her way out of the room, but as she’s about to slide her tray, comes a small voice
“am i a bad person, nurse blue?”
her heart broke a little there.
Nurse Hana has known Taehyung since the day she was employed here. For her, Taehyung has always been a part of this hospital, of her daily life, she remembers him being here at times when everybody left for their families, but one who stayed back, always Taehyung. He’s like an integral part of this hospital now, like a pillar, you can not separate him.
They clicked quickly, not because she is an outgoing person but because Taehyung is. He always makes everyone feel at home, he can make this place, (hell for a lot of people), feel like home to anyone, as he has done a dozen times for many patients. unfortunately in the end, while everyone gets better and discharges, he is left behind.
Taehyung used to love the color blue, maybe he still does, she hasn’t asked in a long time, so when Hana treated him like her own kid, showed him the kindness he very much deserved, he named her blue, calling her his favorite person.
“No, baby, you’re the most special boy in the world. You’re so amazing, so talented, so kind, good, obedient, amazing, beautiful and thoughtful! You’ll become the most amazing man out there! girls would die to be with you! Be confident in your skin, tae. I’m going to finish my rotations then we’ll celebrate your birthday together, how does that sound?”
Taehyung smiles at her but it doesn’t reach his eyes, much to her notice. She smiles softly(sadly) before closing the door and leaving the boy behind.
Taehyung starts tearing the balloons off the wall with tears brimming his eyes when
“aren’t we supposed to pop the balloons after the celebration?” a voice comes from behind.