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If there was one thing he didn’t like, it was marks. Bites, scratches, anything that left something permanent on his body, even if it was only for a few days, bothered Ezreal. This only posed one problem. The same did not count for his….bandmate? Boyfriend? Actually, he wasn’t really sure what they were. They’ve never put a name to their relationship, if one could even call it that. Situationship? Hm.
A huff left Ezreals lips as he placed his head forehead first onto the kitchen table, in between his arms. Ever since the whole band moved in together things have been weird. Irritating at times. But there was only one member of heartsteel causing it all. And if it was a certain fuchsia haired delinquent, that might just be a coincidence. Or perhaps bad impressions. If sudden random midnight cuddles or make out sessions count as bad, that is.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, the ex-popstar scrolled through the older messages in the band's group chat. The bright light blinded his eyes, after all it still was quite dark outside. 4:32, his phone said. Why he was awake at this early hour, he didn't even know himself. Somehow, the thoughts in his brain followed him into his dreams and kept him restless. Another sigh, the screen went dark again. It would be at least another one and a half hours before K’sante and Sett would get ready for their gym visit. Until then, he had more time to think.
Think. Well, what about? How he went from high on positive emotions, to depressed within just a few moments. A glance was just enough. Why did he let his mood get affected by another person so much? It was stupid. A single smile, a laugh, a snarky remark. It could immediately brighten up his mood or crush it down in the same breath. For Kayn, it was all just a game. He was just a time killer, a way to let out frustration or heightened emotions in general. Sure, Ezreal might have been the one who started this whole ordeal, as they were high out of their minds, just chilling in his room together, and got the brilliant idea to just go ahead and kiss his admittedly very handsome bandmate. He was who started it, Kayn was the one who kept it going.
It actually had been a few months since it all began. Ezreal had tried his best to ignore his heart screaming for more moremoremore. This wasn’t what they were. In this short amount of time, he had already gotten so used to their shared intimacies that he couldn’t imagine a time without them.
Mindlessly he pressed two fingers down on a bruise near his ear that had just started forming, having only been created the evening before, feeling the sting of pain. Luckily, the long strands of his hair were covering it for the most part. But when he went out he’d still put concealer over it, just as a precaution. It wasn’t like he hated it. The marks, the reminders of what has happened. Whenever they got together, Kayn would make sure to leave at least one, two hickeys or bites, despite Ezreals constant complaints.
They’re a pain to hide, would take days to heal up and were a constant reminder of what was so close yet so far. Yet somehow….no. He didn't want to think about it any further. Not right now, when his brain was struggling to pick itself together once more.
The clock on his phone hit 5am. Has he really been staring at the screen for almost ten minutes? Possibly. At least there wasn't any appointment they had to attend to in the afternoon. Ezreal definitely wasn't in the mood to cover up his eyebags in addition to the other ... .bruises. A vague sound made him lift his head out of a sudden.
He could hear the shadows around him whispering, moving. Even before Ezreal could feel the presence materializing behind him. Of course. He couldn’t even sulk in self pity for long without getting bothered.
“Why’s the princess awake so early? Don’t you need your beauty sleep?” He didn't flinch as he heard the raspy voice whisper in his ear, followed by a weight leaning against his back.
“Shouldn’t I ask you the same?”
“At least I’m not looking like a raccoon who stayed up all night digging through leftovers.”
“ Please, I’m way cuter than a raccoon! I’m at least a big panda!” Even with his pretty much exhausted mind, he couldn’t stop jumping onto the obvious provocations. Were they even provocations? They at least triggered him to snap back.
“Sure, whatever floats your boat. You’ve been down here for a while, haven't you?” How did he know?
A yelp left his mouth as he was roughly hoisted up and quite literally thrown over the other man's shoulder, dropping his phone in the process. “Wha- Kayn! Let me down! I can walk just fine!” he half-whispered, aware that any loud noise could easily snap Yone out of his sleep. That man had the instincts of a mother hen and would immediately check out the reason for the ruckus.
“Shut up and thank me later, bunny. Little popstars should be asleep at this hour, so back to bed with you.” Out of experience, Ezreal knew that trying to get out of this grasp was hopeless. So he let his body go limp, rolling his eyes while he tried to not let his face smash against the other’s back after every step.
Upon reaching the upper end of the staircase, it only took a few more moments until they reached his room. Wait, this wasn’t his room. It dawned on him the moment a cloud of air hit him after opening the door that smelled of a mixture between cold ash, some sort of cheap perfume used in an attempt to cover it up, and something woody. This was Kayns room.
The room itself was only lit by a few stripes of colorful LEDs around the ceiling, as well as the bed. Currently they were pulsing in a dim, red light. Heh, this almost made it seem like a badly scripted porn set up. No, not the right time to think about stuff like that.
Eszeal slightly bounced off the mattress he was more or less gently thrown upon. Finally the world wasn’t half upside-down anymore. He couldn’t suppress another teasing line from coming out. “You know, you almost sounded like Yone there.”
Kayn’s gaze instantly locked into his own, red and green meeting gold. Almost like a predator, he used his arms to cage in the smaller male, leaning so close that their breaths started to mingle. “If you say one more time that I sound like that stuck up prick who can do nothing but complain and command me around, I can’t promise for anything that happens afterwards, sunshine.” The dark gravel now mixed in his voice, while making the threat very prominent, also made the green haired boy shudder in anticipation. Hot.
Not breaking eye contact, Ezreal had to quite literally bite his tongue to not repeat those words once more. He couldn’t tell how long their quiet moment lasted. Maybe it was just a few seconds, maybe it had been a minute or two. Eventually though, Kayn backed off a bit, in favor of shoving Ezreals body closer to the wall to make space for himself. Grabbing the blanket, the fuchsia haired male threw it behind himself, almost completely covering his guest, before adjusting himself on the bed, back turned to the wall.
Pulling the newly acquired blanket off his head, Ezreal couldn’t help but stare. Even through the thin tank top that Kayn wore to bed, his muscles were well defined and made his eyes stick to them like magnets. It’s not even like it was the first time. Things like that constantly happened. Where he just couldn’t bring himself to break eye contact, where closely watched the others' actions just a little bit too intensely. He couldn’t understand why. And neither did he understand the reason why his bandmate decided to suddenly take care of him at 5 in the morning. How he even knew that Ezreal had been awake and down in the kitchen..
Pulling the fabric of the blanket closer around himself, he quietly called out.
“Kayn?”
“Hm?”
“Why did you come and get me?”
“Rhaasts idea, not mine.” A blunt lie. Or maybe a half-lie. Ezreal couldn’t be completely sure. He didn’t have the chance to come in contact with Rhaast that often yet, considering Kayn kept their conversations mostly to himself and rarely let him out. However, he has been told that the demon's opinion of him wasn’t all that…negative. And he considered that a plus.
“Kayn?”
This time, the other man turned around, meeting his gaze once again, though obviously slightly annoyed.
“ What is it ?”
Actually, Ezreal didn’t know. He just felt like saying his name. Felt like grabbing his attention once more. For what reason? Did there really had to be a reason for everything? After not receiving an answer, Kayn ran his hand through his fuchsia hair with a groan.
“Look, princess, I didn’t bring you here so that you could keep running your mouth over dumb shit. You’re supposed to go the fuck back to sleep and I’m very much interested in doing the same. So I’m going to ask one more time:
What. Is. It?”
Well damn. Now he
had
to come up with something. At least that's what his ego told him. If he’d admit that there was indeed, nothing, he’d only get maken fun of once more.
Ezreal wasn’t sure what rid him at that moment, but he stretched out one arm in the direction of the other man, making a grabbing motion. The bed was big enough that they had a lot of space in between them, no need to be touching. However, the need to be closer, to feel another body close to his own, overcame him like a wave breaking at the shore. Where it so suddenly came from, he wasn’t completely sure.
Feeling the skeptical gaze of the other male on himself, going in between his face and his stretched out arm, he eventually rolled his eyes. A rough hand grabbed Ezreals wrist, accompanied by a strong yank that made him almost barrel against Kayn’s body. As soon as he was close, his wrist was released.
“...”
“That's what you wanted, isn't it? Could’ve just used your words now, couldn't you. Or perhaps….was the little bunny too shy to ask, hm?”
“Its…not like that…” the rest of the sentence merely got mumbled into the dark fabric in front of him, as the arm that had wrapped around his upper torso by the other man tightened up, pulling him impossibly closer. Breathing in deeply, the all too familiar smell that was just so Kayn made his heart stutter. Ezreal couldn’t remember a moment where they had been so close without anything else attached to it. Without breaking apart immediately as soon as their desires were sated. Going back to what they were previously doing whenever he had to scold Kayn once more to not maul his neck like a starving dog.
Their “relationship” wasn’t like this. It was harsh, passionate, rough, but never gentle. Yet the moment he was wrapped in those warms, the warmth, feeling the breathing motion of another person against his own chest- he thinks he hasn’t felt that peaceful in a while. Even though it was Kayn holding him. Because it was Kayn holding him. No. Yes? But it wasn’t like that. Friends did this too, hugging each other, sleeping in each other's beds, making out ....maybe not that last part. They were just friends. Bandmates.
It seemed that the other male wasn’t going to bicker with him any more, probably knowing that he wouldn’t get anything else out of him. For a moment, his body froze. He could have sworn he felt the ghost of a kiss on the top of his head, before Kayn adjusted himself one last time, yet not loosening his grip. Ezreal felt the tips of his ears burn up, the heat slowly crawling down his face.
“G’night” he eventually squeezed out, leaning his forehead against the muscular chest in front of him, forcing himself to relax and even out his breathing. Slowly, he felt the exhaustion crawl into his bones. The familiar scent calmed him more than he’d ever admit to anyone. After just a few more minutes, he already felt his body growing heavier, his mind starting to drift off.
Maybe, it was just okay like that. Maybe they didn’t have to put a name to what they had. If it meant they could share moments like this, to just have someone to go to. For now, this, everything they had, was just enough.
And if his phone was still laying lonely on the kitchen floor until the first ray of the morning sun where it eventually got found by one of his other bandmates, that was something he could still worry about later.