Chapter Text
It had snowed overnight. Button House and its surroundings were covered in a thick white blanket that muffled all the sounds from the outside world.
It was a Saturday morning and the Captain, who was diligently studying some blueprints for Operation William, found himself distracted by the marvel of nature that presented itself outside his window. Maybe if he finished his paperwork quickly enough he would still have time for a stroll before the sun descended.
He grabbed his pen to get on with it when there was a knock at the door.
"Come," the Captain answered, his heart already fluttering in his chest.
Over the last few months he had learned to recognise this knock almost everywhere and yet it was a surprise to hear it now.
Lieutenant Anthony Havers, the Captain's second in command, opened the door with a smile on his lips and the Captain could not help but smile broadly back at him.
Saturdays were the only days that were reserved for Havers's other duties, besides working on Project William, so every time the Captain heard that knock he knew that either something had happened, or that Havers wanted to speak with him out of his own volition.
It was more often the former than the latter, as the troupe at Button House was regarded as a bit of a wild bunch, but the sight of his Lieutenant made the Captain's heart flutter nonetheless.
"Ah Havers, at ease, at ease. Did something happen? I haven't forgotten a meeting, have I?"
The tall, dark-haired man shook his head with an even bigger smile.
"Good morning, Sir. No, everything is fine, no one is missing a body part, at least not yet, Sir. But it's still early in the morning, after all," he answered cheerfully, referring to no fewer than 3 accidents that had happened over the last few weeks.
The Captain could not help but chuckle.
"Very well then, Havers, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
He let it slip before he could stop himself and could feel a blush rise to his cheeks and ears instantaneously.
If Havers noticed he didn't show it, and just continued with the reason for his early visit to his CO's office.
"It has snowed, Sir," he said with a youthful gleam in his eyes.
"Ah yes, so it has," replied the Captain, quickly glancing outside as if he had been unaware of the fact and Havers was the first to bring it to his attention.
"I brought you some tea, Sir. I know you won't light the fireplace until it's freezing in here."
The Captain almost spluttered, as Havers had the audacity to wink at him.
"Oh yes, eh, well, that's very kind of you, Lieutenant. I - eh - I prefer the fresh air, it keeps the mind sharp, you know."
"And the firewood rations available for the troupe quarters," Havers added, and gave him a look that the Captain couldn't entirely decipher but that sent shivers down his spine.
"Ah yes, well, better to ration for rainy days, there's a war on after all," he muttered.
"Or snowy days," Havers added with a grin, and the Captain chuckled.
"Snowy days, very well Havers."
Havers smiled softly, before he looked down and noticed his empty hands.
"Oh! It seems I have forgotten to actually bring you the tea, Sir. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Havers turned around and closed the door behind him.
The Captain let out a content sigh. Usually Lieutenant Havers was a remarkably well put together and highly capable second in command, but the Captain couldn't help but notice that almost every Saturday Havers seemed to become distracted from his duties. He would visit the Captain’s office to get some signatures and realise he’d only brought half of the papers, or he would bring an issue to the Captain's attention repeatedly even though he had already updated him on the matter.
Sometimes the Captain felt as if Havers was looking for excuses to visit him, but he quickly dismissed the thought. The fact that he had developed feelings far beyond friendship and camaraderie for his second in command in itself felt sometimes like a punishment of sorts, and he didn't want to indulge in false hope on top of that.
Every other soldier the Captain would have reprimanded for the sort of sloppiness Havers was portraying, but since he only seemed to be affected on Saturdays, and since it meant the Captain got to see him and talk to him numerous times a day, he was more than willing to let it slide.
❄️
There was another knock at the door. To the Captain's delight it was Havers returning, and he even had the tea with him this time. The Captain smiled widely at him as Havers walked in and set the tea down on his desk.
“Thank you, Havers.”
For a moment there was a silence filled with smiles as the Captain followed Havers’ gaze to the window. The sun was shining now and Havers stared so longingly that the Captain found himself speaking before the words could filter through the self-preservation part of his brain.
“I say, Havers. I had planned to go on a lengthy walk around midday. Would you…would you care to accompany me?”
“I would be delighted, Sir,” Havers answered and his gleeful smile had a very worrying effect on the stability and structural integrity of the Captain's knees.
“Jolly good. Shall we meet outside in an hour?”
The Captain asked, trying to keep his voice at his normal cadence.
“Yes, splendid, Sir,” Havers answered cheerfully, clearly looking forward to it.
“That man must really love snow,” the Captain thought after Havers had left and closed the door behind him.
❄️
For the Captain the following hour didn't want to pass. He found himself distracted by almost everything and every time he felt as if at least 15 minutes had passed, the clock informed him that it had been only three.
When finally the time arrived to meet Havers outside, the Captain was barely able to stop himself from jogging down the stairs. He forced himself to go by his normal, not overly eager, pace, and when he entered the yard, he found Havers already there waiting for him.
His Lieutenant stood facing the house but, as a stream of sunlight broke through the clouds, he looked skywards, eyes closed, basking in the sunlight that let the snow around him glitter like a million tiny diamonds.
For a moment the Captain did not dare to speak, to move or even breathe, afraid of disturbing that ethereal sight before him. He merely stood there and watched and wondered if it was possible for angels to look like ordinary people.
It was his Lieutenant’s voice that brought him back into reality.
“Sir?” Havers asked in an amused tone, raising his eyebrow at him.
The Captain shook his head and tried to suppress the blush and anxiety that were both bubbling up inside him. How long had he been staring? How long ago had his Lieutenant noticed his presence? How much had his own facial expression betrayed him?
He cleared his throat.
“Ah yes, excuse me Havers, I appear to have been lost in thought.”
He gave a nervous chuckle and desperately wished it would come off as nonchalant.
“Shall we?” The Captain asked, pointing at the path he was intending to take and trying to avoid eye contact with Havers, whilst desperately hoping the man would not suddenly develop an interest in the colour of the Captain's ears.
“We shall, Sir,” Havers replied with a soft smile and a gaze that went unseen by his CO.
❄️
“Look, Sir, over there,” Havers whispered, his right hand resting on the small of the Captain's back.
They had carefully followed the path up the hill, as some patches of it were frozen over and slippery. They had passed some barren fields and were now walking on even ground beside the tree line of a little forest.
They had just stopped to admire the view, when Havers spotted something between the trees. He stepped closer to alert the Captain of the presence.
The Captain, startled by the sudden contact and the feeling of Havers' breath against his neck, swallowed hard.
He tried to follow the line of Havers’ outstretched finger with his eyes, but found himself rather distracted by the sudden close proximity to his Lieutenant.
"Did you see it?” Havers whispered into the Captain's ear, as he lowered his left arm back to his side, leaning even closer to his CO.
The Captain tried not to shiver as Havers' breath hit his skin.
Just as he was about to answer, a loud cracking noise filled the air and they both jumped away from each other, startled and on high alert. When Havers realised what had made the noise he chuckled.
“A fallen branch, Sir. Almost fooled me. A shame. I thought I saw a hare, but it's definitely gone now.”
“Pom pom,” whispered the Captain, and Havers grinned to himself but pretended to not have heard.
He knew the Captain would feel ashamed if he drew attention to the weird little noises that seemed to escape him involuntarily ever so often.
“Shall we continue, Sir?” Havers asked instead and the Captain nodded.
❄️
They continued on the walk in silence, except for a few occasions when they made each other aware of a particularly stunning view or a particularly slippery piece of path.
The Captain enjoyed it tremendously. Normally silences were an unwelcome occurrence to him. They tended to be awkward and his opposites always seemed to judge him for simply being there. He usually tried to fill the silences, but had quickly realised that the feeling of being judged would then only increase.
Havers' silence, on the other hand, was comfortable, like a warm blanket that wrapped around the Captain. He felt as if he could breathe a bit more freely when it was just the two of them. Like he didn't have to justify his presence to Havers. Like he could enjoy the peace and quiet without feeling judged by his ever so kind Lieutenant.
Havers’ silence was a welcoming one.
❄️
They had reached the section of the path where a decline would wind around the hill and into the forest, before leading them back alongside fields to the front gate of Button House.
Lieutenant Havers, who was a few steps ahead of the Captain, whose knees always gave him a bit more trouble downhill, stopped and looked at the bend in the path and the drop next to it.
“Sir, this bit appears to be frozen over,” he said, whilst carefully tapping his foot on the ground.
“It should be alright over there, where the snow is deeper. I’ll go first.”
The Captain frowned.
There was no way to bypass the icy patch and Havers, who had longer legs than the Captain, would be able to cross it far more easily than the Captain with his bad knees.
The thought of making a fool of himself in front of Havers instantaneously filled the Captain with dread.
He watched Havers carefully as the man took a big and careful step, testing the ground before he shifted his weight, and then another, until he reached the safety of the deeper snow. He turned around, looking up at the Captain and giving him an almost proud grin.
The Captain gave him a small, almost nervous, smile as he was trying to map out where best to place his steps in advance of taking them.
“Maybe it's safer if you waddle, Sir.”
The Captain coughed.
“If I …what?”
“Waddle, Sir. Like penguins,” Havers said with a bright smile and a twinkle in his eyes.
“I don't think an officer should waddle, Havers. It sounds rather undignified.”
“I promise I won't tell a soul, Sir,” Havers said with a soft smile, “and it's probably safer for you. Here, let me help you.”
Havers reached out his hand towards the Captain as far as possible.
The Captain, who suddenly felt rather like a damsel in distress, tried his best not to blush under Havers’ gaze.
He cleared his throat.
“Well then…” he mumbled, before taking a few small, tentative steps.
It was still very slippery and as he made his way he was rather glad when he reached and grabbed Havers' hand. He could feel the muscles in his Lieutenant's arm tighten.
“You can hold onto my arm, like a handrail, Sir.”
The Captain nodded, fully aware that with every step and every new touch of Havers' strong arm, his heart fluttered and his blush deepened.
“Thank you, Havers,” he whispered, his cheeks burning, as soon as his hand reached his Lieutenant's upper arm.
They stood opposite each other. He didn't look Havers in the face, but with a bit of confusion noticed that his Lieutenant’s reply sounded rather whispery, as if Havers had to catch his breath.
“You're welcome, Sir.”
If the Captain had looked at him before taking a step ahead and onto safe ground, he would have seen Havers' Adam's apple bobbing.
❄️
It was Lieutenant Havers who fell first.
They had continued on their way, the silence now filled with a strange tension. Havers, who seemed to have noticed this, started to talk. About cricket at first, then an idea for Project William, then about Christmas and the first snow when he had been a boy.
The Captain engaged in the conversation enthusiastically, but still felt a bit of unease when he noticed out of the corner of his eye how often Havers was now glancing at him.
The Captain could feel anxiety rise inside of him. Havers had seen him blush earlier. What if instead of assuming that the Captain was rather ashamed of needing help, Havers had figured out the real reason as to why his CO had turned rather scarlet.
It was in such a moment, when the Captain could feel Havers’ eyes on him, that they hit another icy patch. Havers, who this time had been distracted, slipped, waved his arms in the air to regain his balance, spun around and landed flat on his back in a little heap of snow.
The Captain, who had also not been paying attention to the path, slipped, trying desperately to keep his balance. Unfortunately he failed to do so and came crashing down on top of Havers, who had tried to stand back up but landed flat on his back again with the Captain on top of him.
The undignified nature of this fall, as well as the sudden closeness to his Lieutenant, who had just gotten the air knocked out of him, made the Captain turn bright scarlet with embarrassment and something else. He had never been this close to Havers before, at least not to the point where so much of their bodies touched.
It was breathtaking. It was entirely too late for proper decorum when the Captain realised that he had not even tried to lift himself off of Havers. He had been too captivated by the sensation of the situation. Panic started to rise in him.
"My apologies, Havers, I…I…" he stammered, utterly mortified, but stopped when he finally met his Lieutenant's gaze.
Havers, cheeks red and eyes darker than usual, stared directly into the Captain's eyes.
The Captain could feel warmth spreading through him as his stomach did a flip.
His brain was empty as he watched Havers' eyes trail down to his lips and back up again to his eyes.
The Captain cleared his throat. He should stand up, apologise, and run as far away as he could, but he couldn't move a muscle. Was this really happening? Or was he having a daydream? Had he slipped and banged his head, maybe? Why else would Havers look at him like that?
As if… as if he was about to kiss him.
The Captain swallowed hard. "H-H-Havers?" He whispered insecurely.
The answer came when Havers grabbed the Captain by the shoulder strap of his Sam Browne belt and slowly pulled him forwards so he could bridge the distance between them.
Just when Cap could feel Havers’ breath on his lips, his Lieutenant seemed to have a short moment of acute panic, when instead of kissing the man above him, he diverted and placed a soft kiss on the Captain's cheek, close to the corner of his mouth. The Captain's eyes shot open in confusion and caught Havers’ gaze, who let out a few nervous giggles.
“I’m sorry, Sir, I…I mean…I…that's…is it…” Havers stammered before collecting himself. “May I? Kiss you, I mean.”
At that moment the Captain was sure he had never seen anything more beautiful than his second in command nervously looking up at him with blushed cheeks and that soft look in his eyes.
“Yes, please, Havers,” he answered eagerly, his voice almost cracking.
And kiss him Havers did.
❄️
“We really should get home, you’ll catch a cold,” the Captain whispered, his forehead resting against Havers'.
“Don't worry about me, Sir, my fireplace is on at night, I’m sure I'll be alright. But it's very sweet of you to worry.”
The Captain blushed a bit.
“James,” he answered “Please call me James.”
Havers pulled his head back, breaking their contact to happily beam at Cap.
“James,” he nodded, whilst blushing slightly.
“Please call me Anthony then.”
“Anthony. What a handsome name,” said the Captain, utterly smitten, before he could help himself.
“James, what a handsome name and handsome man,” Havers retorted and winked at Cap, who felt the heat rise to his ears.
“The cheek of you,” he muttered, and Havers laughed.
“It's barely cheek when it's the truth.”
There was that look again in Havers eyes, that the Captain had seen so many times before and still couldn't quite place.
This time the Captain leaned down to kiss Havers some more.
They only got up, with some difficulty and combined efforts, when the cold had quite noticeably settled in their bones and the Captain had noticed Havers shivering slightly as the snow had melted on his back, drenching his uniform.
❄️
There was a knock on the door.
“Come,” a raspy voice answered followed by coughing.
Cap stuck his head through the door.
“I brought you some tea,” he said with that nervous twitch that made Anthony feel all warm on the inside.
“Splendid, that's very kind of you, Sir,” Havers said with a bright but tired smile.
The Captain smiled back at him and entered, trying to navigate closing the door without dropping the plate with the tea. He almost lost the battle, but then managed to close the door behind him with minimal tea spillage.
The Captain moved over to Havers’ bed and put the tea down on the nightstand. He had tried to place Havers in the infirmary, but the man had objected vehemently, claiming that in his room, which was adjacent to his office - one of the perks of being the second in command - he could at least work as soon as he felt up to it.
The Captain suspected it also had to do with the fact that if he came to visit Havers in the infirmary they would be under constant surveillance. Whereas in Havers’ room that lay secluded from the living quarters of their fellow soldiers, they could exist more freely.
Most of their fellow soldiers had decided to enjoy the snow and good weather on this Saturday afternoon, but some had stayed nonetheless, and though most of them could need the infirmary at almost any given moment, they would not have a reason to visit their Lieutenant in his room, especially not when the man was out with a nasty cold and had been for almost a week now.
“How are you today?” Cap asked, and put his hand on Havers’ forehead.
“At least the fever seems to be gone for good,” he assessed, and moved his hand slowly to Havers’ cheek, who leaned into the touch.
“I feel better, it's just this nasty cough,” he said weakly. Cap caressed his cheek with his thumb.
“You look tired, did you manage to get some sleep at least?” Havers sighed and put a soft kiss on the Captain's wrist.
“Not really, I …” He started before another coughing fit took over.
The Captain, who quickly removed his hand to give him space, almost winced at the image before him. When the coughing stopped, Havers gave him a stern look.
“James, love, if you apologise just one more time I swear I will pin you down and kiss you so thoroughly that I’ll be the one taking care of you for the next two weeks.”
“Well, at least part of that sounds rather pleasant,” Cap replied with a small grin and a blush, before he had to clear his throat.
Havers groaned.
”God, I wish I could kiss you.”
Cap looked at him before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Havers’ forehead.
“I know. I wish we could as well. But it's probably better not to risk it just now. Also, you should really get as much rest as you can.”
Havers sighed and Cap couldn't help but smile adoringly at him, before he remembered what he had wanted to tell him.
“You know my grandmother, rest her soul, swore the best way to get over a cold was to sweat it out. Every time I was sick she’d put me in a bed next to the fire, clothed in my warmest jumpers and trousers, with a scarf and a hat and sometimes even mittens, and keep me there for an hour whilst constantly making me drink hot tea. After an hour I got a nice bath and fresh clothes and was allowed to sleep, and most times my cold would vanish overnight. Though I see how that might not be an option for you.”
“Well, you’ve just brought me tea, and I’m lying next to a fire.” Havers smiled before he coughed again violently.
When he finished he took a deep breath, sank back into the pillows and looked at Cap rather miserably.
“To be honest, at this point I would try everything to get rid of this cold, it's rather dampening my spirits to not see you in the office every day.”
The Captain cleared his throat as a response, hoping he wasn't turning too bright red in the face, and smiled at Havers almost bashfully.
“I miss seeing you too. Turns out my concentration rather suffers when you’re not working beside me. I mean, I, eh… I - eh - enjoy your company no matter how productive we are. I just - eh…I don't miss you just for work,” the Captain sputtered.
Havers chuckled.
“Did I ever tell you that you're utterly endearing when you're flustered? And don't try to argue with me about it,” Havers said with a twinkle in his eyes, before yet another coughing fit hit him.
When he could breathe again he looked up at James.
“Can we try this sweating out method? Do you have an hour?”
“Of course! I might have even more.” Cap walked into the middle of the room and looked at Anthony's wardrobe.
“Permission to take inventory for operation sweat it out?”
Havers grinned.
“Permission granted.”
“Jolly good,” came the Captain’s answer, before he started to go through Havers's wardrobe.
❄️
“I’m afraid I have bad news for the operation. It seems you have no additional blankets, or jumpers, or scarves or the like that aren't currently in the laundry.”
Havers stared at the Captain and blushed slightly over his own boldness.
“Would body heat work, James?”
The Captain knitted his brows.
“I suppose so, there would have to be close physical contact of course, you would probably maybe even need to increase the heart rate of the participants and…oh.”
The Captain fell silent as the meaning of Havers’ words hit him.
Havers pulled back the corner of his blanket.
“Hold me for a while?” he asked with a soft, pleading look on his face. “For the sake of science, of course,” he added quickly and gave a small grin.
James sputtered. “I…I…”, he said before he took a deep breath. “I would like that… tremendously,” he admitted almost nervously.
“Then come to me, please,” Havers said, his eyes fixed on the Captain.
The Captain obliged and sat down on the corner of the bed to remove his shoes.
The Captain climbed into bed with Havers and as soon as he was close enough, Havers wrapped his arms around the Captain’s middle and rested his head on the older man’s chest.
Who, in return, after he had tucked them both under the blanket, started combing his fingers through Havers' hair and now and then pressed soft kisses to the top of Havers' head before resting his own there permanently.
“We'll have to stay awake for an hour. And to be honest I feel a bit too poorly for…heart rate inducing activities. Would you tell me some stories?” Havers mumbled, focusing on the feeling of the Captain's heartbeat against his cheek.
“Yes, of course, what would you like to hear?” asked the Captain, rather flushed over Havers’ comment about heart rate inducing activities.
“More stories about you. Your childhood, your life before all this.”
The Captain began telling stories about his childhood in the countryside, his sister, his imagined battles against enemy soldiers in the woods, when after twenty minutes of doing so he became aware of soft snoring from the man in his arms.
The Captain, who became almost unbearably hot, either to the external circumstances or a deep, warm, almost fuzzy feeling from within, decided to stay nonetheless, just for the health benefits of his Lieutenant, of course. He fell asleep shortly after.
❄️
From then on both of them agreed that Havers’ swift recovery that had followed after numerous hours of sweating it out, was utterly due to the wisdom of the Captain's grandmother. And every cold one of them had was, from that moment forward, treated with a fire in the fireplace, the presence of some tea and quite a bit of body heat.
