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I walk out of the party wrapping my letterman tightly around me, one of the few things that remind me of home. I spot Ben sitting on the curbn silently. He just found out that his girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?) was two timing him. And then she walked out chasing after the other guy.

Yikes…

I pause, should I go over? In the few times we’ve interacted we haven’t really talked. Having only been here for a month and some change, the only thing I know about him is that he’s super smart and has a girlfriend.

Well… Had a girlfriend.

I let out a sigh, what’s the worst that could happen? I go over to him taking a seat next to him on the curb. He looks over at me as he sits down. “What do you want?” he says snappily. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” oh course he’s not okay, he basically just got left at the alter.

“Well obviously I’m just peachy,” he says going back to staring at the street lights. “Yea… I figured,” I say staring at my feet. I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out a really melted mini Snickers. I offer it to him, “Do you want it?” I ask holding it out to him. “It’s pretty melted cuz it’s been in my pocket all night.” He looks at it before sighing and taking i.

“Why are you even wearing that thick ass jacket? We in Los Angeles,” he says as he opens the melted candy bar. I shrug, “It brings me comfort, and I just moved here from Texas.” I say looking at him. “Texas? The texas? You mean the place that’s also a furnace?” I let out a chuckle. “Yea you got me.”

He lets out a sound of acknowledgment as he eats the melted chocolate. “So you gonna explain why your dressed for the Arctic?” I let out a laugh smiling, “I figured her house would be cold.” he looks at me raising an eyebrow. “Really?” I roll my eyes playfully. “You have that jacket on at all times of the day, even in gym.”

I cross my arms defensively, “Well for your information 90 degrees is actually very cold.” we look at each other for a moment before breaking out in laughter. He finishes the candy before dropping the wrapper on their lawn.

“So.. How you feeling?” I ask he lets our a sigh before nodding. He turns his head to look agt me. “Pretty good actually.” i nod smiling, “That's good.” he gives me a smile, i raise my hand to his face. “You have some melted chocolate on your lip.” I say bringing my face closer to his.

“Hmm?” he asks wiping his face with his arm. “Dig I get it?” he asks. I shake my head, “Lemme get it.” I take his face in one hand and use my jacket sleeve to get the melted chocolate off of his lower lip. His eyes dark around refusing to look at me, I smile and pull back.

“There you go.” he lets out a cough, eyes going back to the light posts. “So… You moved here from Texas?” I nod. “Any particular reason why? Let me guess you were banned from the state for excessive jacket wearing.” I roll my eyes playfully. “Hardy har har, nah my parents died so I moved here to be with my older sister.” The mood drops.

Shit.

“Oh.” Ben starts. I raise my hand up, “Sorry, I didn't mean to just-” he cuts me off taking hold of my hand. “It’s cool, no need to apologize.” He gives me a dorky smile and I let out a snort. “So you moved here to be with your older sister, was she the only option?” he.

“She was the best pick out of all my siblings yea.” I say with a nod. Ben nods, “how have you been adjusting?” I bring my knees close to my chest. “It’s Ben… fine. I don’t really do anything. I was really into marching band back home but y’all only have orchestra.”

“I can tell.” He says I look at him confused, “Your jacket. It has a marching band patch, along with a sousaphone and a clarinet patch.” I chuckle and nod. “Good eye.” I turned my body to face him.

He’s wearing a black shirt with a grey jean jacket over top, with a pair of black jeans. He looks… cuter than I remember him being. “I see you around, and in class.” I nod. We have most classes together, though we’ve never actually spoken to each other before. “You usually sleep so I’m amazed that you haven’t flunk out yet.”

“Oh really I didn’t know King try hard had time to look at us common folk.”

“A king must look over his subjects.”

“Thank you for gracing me with your presence your try-hardness.”

We look at each other before dying laughing. I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes. “So what are you doing-“I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out it’s my sister calling. I look at him apologetically. “I gotta take this.”

“Go for it.” I nod before answering the call placing the phone to my ear. “Yes?” I ask “it’s one in the morning where are you?” I grab Ben's wrist looking at his watch looking at the time. “Shit! Your right! I’ll head back.” I hang up the phone and get off the curb.

“You have to go?” Ben asks looking up at me confused. I nod, “Yeah, I didn’t realize how late it got.” He scrambles to his feet. “Well, where do you live? I-I-I can take you home.” I give him a weird look. “I live across the street,” I say pointing to the house in front of us.

“Oh.’ is all that leaves his mouth. “Well um, thanks for the company.” I nod. “And the melted snickers..” I smile. “No problem. I’ll see you at school?” He gives me a half smile and nods, “See you at school.”

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I walk into chemistry tired as always, in the month I've been at Sherman Oak High I’ve never been able to stay awake for an entire chemistry class. As I entered I spotted Ben and he waved me over to the empty seat next to him.

I take the seat confused, "What's this about?” I ask putting my backpack on the floor. “Well usually me and Devi sit together, and she's been trying to text me all weekend so i know she’ll try sitting next to me.” He explained. “Ahh okay I exclaim.

So I'm basically a human shield. “I usually sit in the back.” he raises an eyebrow. “So I can sleep,” he nods. “Yea, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you make it past the roll call before you're out like a light.” I shrug. “What can I say, my body has an internal clock. And that clock says night night, so wake me up when the bell rings yeah?” I say before using my jacket as a pillow and laying my head on the desk. I can feel him rolling his eyes as I., our teacher goes through roll call, “Benjamin Gross”

“Here.”

That perks me up. “Your full name is Benjamin?” I turn my head to face him. “Uh yeah.” I let out a chuckle. “Didn’t pick you as a Benjamin type.” I tease. He rolls his eyes, “Well fuck off…” His voice dies down. “Oh, Benjamin doesn't know my name? After I gave you a Snickers? That's low” I tease.

“First of all, it was melted.” I roll my eyes, “Whatever you say Benjamin.” the teacher calls my name, “Folasade Carter?” I raise my hand. “Here.'' I turned to him. “So Benjamin, what's my name?” He pauses before saying it. “Falashaday?” i let out a chuckle, “close but no.” I put my head back down, waiting for sleep to come, Ben curses under his breath.

I look up and follow his line of sight, Devi walks into the classroom with her friends. I look back at Ben and he wears this weird expression. Like a deer in front of headlights, class started and we worked in pairs. “Can I get a new partner?” Ben asks. “One that isn't half asleep,” I grumble sitting up and yawning. “Shut up Benjamin.” He smirks, “I see you awake now… Falasharday?'' He says my name with a question mark. “Shoot and a miss.” he shakes his head. “Okay let's start with what we need to do.”

Class ends and we walk to our next one, “You okay Benji?” I ask in which he rolls his eyes. “Benji? Really?” “What? It's cute, or would you rather have me call you Benjamin?” I ask rolling my eyes. We go to his locker i lean against the lockers waiting for him to do whatever he needs to do. “Can you just call me Ben?” I shake my head, “Sorry can't.” he sighs, closing his locker with a flourish.

At lunch, he comes over to my spot in the corner. “God, why do you look so depressive?” I look up at him confused. “I don't look depressed.” He nods, sitting down on the other side of the table. “You're currently eating your packed lunch while watching anime on your iPad. You're like… a social reject.” I scoff mildly offended.

“Well sorry the kids here aren't exactly welcoming to newcomers,” I say rolling my eyes. “What do you want? Or did you come here just to insult me?” Ben shakes his head.

“No, I was asking for a favor.” I cross my arms. “After that string of insults, you expect me to help you?” He sighs, “Okay I'm sorry, you're not a social reject… you're just a social outsider.” I raise an eyebrow. Really?

He sees my expression and tries to change the subject, “ Anyway Devi needs to form a team for the 24-hour relay.” I take a bite out of my PB and J. ``And that involves me how?'' I thought for a moment. Wait? Devi? Devi, Devi? As in the girl who was timing him with another guy? That device?

“Do you have no self respect?” I ask putting my half-eaten pb and j on my napkin. He raises a brow, “What's that supposed to mean?” “You're currently helping your ex, the girl who was two-timing you with Paxton. Are you not embarrassed?”.

“This is how a social reject would be acting, like what the fuck is wrong with you,” I say astonished. “Wow, harsh.” Ben says, trying to defend himself. “Someone has to, because are you so lonely that your only friends are your cheating ex’s friends? Please have some self-respect.” I say raising my voice slightly.

“There's a reason why you're sitting alone!” Ben says pointing a finger at me while he stands up anger written on his face. “I’d rather be alone like you.” I retort back crossing my arms. He storms off and soon the bell rings.

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Three days pass and according to the posters around the school the 24 hour relay starts today at five. However, I'm not going to waste my weekend at a school event. I'm currently sitting in “my room”, my sister's game room but it was refurbished to be the room I sleep in.

I adjust myself on the mountain of pillows I’m leaning against trying to get my aquatic science work done. I flip through the review guide trying to find something that looks correct. This room is on the first floor right next to the front door. Weird place for a bedroom I Know, if a murderer broke in I would be the first person to be murdered.

I type the answer to the last question into the answer box before submitting the assignment, I close my laptop before the results load. What’s done is done. I get out of my twin size bed, a stark contrast to my queen size bed back home. The bookcases in the room filled with my sister’s knick-knacks. All of my own figures, posters, and books are hundreds of miles away in a storage unit.

I go into the kitchen grabbing a water bottle off of the kitchen pantry floor, she keeps her house packed with food. Something that’s also different from back home. I open the fridge and take out the leftovers from last night, spaghetti. I pull out the pot, get a bowl and put a portion in it. I put a piece of garlic bread in the toaster oven before placing the bowl in the microwave.

Just as I settle on my bed, bowl of spaghetti in hand plate with the toast on the nightstand, cartoons playing on my tv I hear a knock on the door. I sigh, placing my bowl of food on the nightstand. I know it’s not my sister nor her husband. Why would they need to knock? I look through the peephole to see who it is.

Is that Ben?

I open the door and Ben Gross is standing there, his car parked on the street in front of the house. “Devi’s house is over there.” Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. Ben lets out a wry chuckle, “Okay that's fair.” I lean against the door way, “Doesn't the 24 hour relay start in like five minutes?” I ask. He nods, “Yep.”

“And you're here at my doorway instead of Devi’s because? Don't tell me you're lost?” he shakes his head. “No, I'm here because I want to be here, you’re right Folasade. Me trying to stay friends or whatever with Devi is weird and makes me look like I don't have a backbone.” I nod. “It doesn't make you look like you don't have a backbone, you've just never had one to begin with.'' I say with a smile.

I push the door open all the way giving him room to enter, “Come on in '' He smiles and walks in. “Your sister has a lovely home.” I close the front door, locking it. “My room is right there.” I say pointing to my room's doorway. “You know you'll be the first one killed if a murderer breaks in.” I let out a laugh and nod following him inside.

“That's what I told my sister.” he walks. Sitting down at my desk chair, I take my spot on my bed picking up my semi warm leftovers. I start to eat when he clears his throat, “I’d like to apologize.” I raise a brow swallowing a bite of pasta. “You do?”

“For when I asked you to help me help Devi. I was rude, and I insulted you. I apologize.” I nod. “You're forgiven.” I take a bite of garlic bread. “Is that the only reason why you were on my front porch like a lost puppy?” he shakes his head. “What you told me, about how the only people I hang out with are Devi’s friends.” I nod. “I’ve been thinking about it, and you’re right. The only people I hang out are people connected to her”

I place the dirty bowl on the nightstand next to the others, “So I see you've finally grown a backbone, love to see it.” I say with a smile. He gives me a chuckle and nods, “Better now then never.” I take a sip of my water, we sit in silence neither of us knowing what to say to one another.

“So…” Ben starts staring at the TV that’s currently playing Barbie in the Dreamhouse. “Is there a reason why as a 17 year old you're watching Barbie?” I look over at him, “Just because you refuse to enjoy your childhood doesn't mean I have to.” Ben nods. “Sure, well can we watch something else.” I sigh, grabbing the remote.

“Fine.” I say picking up the remote and switching from that to Total Drama Island, “Happy?” I say laying on my bed sending him a glance. He sighs, “Good enough.” We fall into silence again watching as the contestants on the show get torched by the host.

Soon I hear keys turning and I sit up, Ben sends me a look and I send him one in return. I look at the digital clock on the wall 8:37 PM shines brightly. The voice of my sisters husband Chris calls out, “I’m home.” me and Ben freeze, what are we going to do?

Chapter Text

I look at Ben and then look at the door. I hear Chris’s footsteps and him peeking into my room with a smile and then a shocked look. I chuckle nervously, “Hi Chirs…” my voice trails off. “How was work?” Chris remains silent just looking at Ben and then at me.

“Who's your friend?” he asks me. I wouldn't call Ben a friend but I don't say that. Ben clears his throat, “Hi sir” Ben says as he stands sticking out his hand to shake. “I’m Folasade’s classmate Benjamin Gross.” They shake hands, “I was wondering whose car was parked in front of the house. Glad it was one of Fola’s friends.” Me and I both give him a small nod

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Chris asks. “Her sister will be home soon and you can stay for a meal.” to my horror Ben nods. Chris smiles, “It’ll be ready in 30 minutes. I'll call you when it's ready.” We both nod silently and Chris leaves presumably going to the kitchen to start cooking.

I take one of my pillows, throwing it at Ben, “Why would you agree to stay for dinner?” Ben catches it, “He asked!” He says exasperated. He catches the pillow and throws it back, it hits me in the face. I sigh, “Who is that? Your dad?” I gave a WTF look. “My dad? Really Benjamin? My dad?” His face flushes and he lets out a small laugh. “Right, well.” He clears his throat.

“Who is he?” I just shake my head, “He’s my older sister's husband.” Ben nods. “Ohhh okay.” I nod back to watching the tv. We’re on the season finale of Total Drama Action. “If you want me not to stay, I can leave.” I just sigh looking at the TV, not him. “It’s fine you can stay.”

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Ben asks after a few minutes of silence. I glance at the whiteboard calendar Tomi put up for me when I first moved in. “I have to clean my room.” I look at him fully. “Why?” Ben shrugs. “Just wondering.” I nod back to watching the TV. “What are yours?”

“Probably just studying.” I nod, “Trying to keep your mind off of Devi? Good for you, you're gaining a backbone. We love to see it.” I hear him chuckle and see him nod. “Yeah, we are.” I hear Chris call for us to come eat dinner. I get out of bed slip on my house shoes exiting the room while Ben follows behind me.

We go into the kitchen and see Chris placing a portion of nigeria soup onto a bowl of rice. “Fola, tell me how much you want.” I tell him how much I want and he hands me the bowl. I take it from him and watch Ben get a semi-large bow of the meal. We took our seats at the table and were next to each other with Chris across from us.

We eat in silence and we hear the front door open, “I’m home.” My sister's voice rings out. She enters humming happily to herself but stops dead in her tracks when she spots Ben sitting at the table eating. “Hi baby.” Chris says lovingly. “This is Benjamin Fola’s classmate.” Tomi places her bag on the floor before shuffling over.

Ben gives her a smile, “Hi I’m Benjamin Gross.” He stands and shakes her hand. Tom smiled, probably impressed, and she took a seat next to chris. “I didn't know you were inviting someone over.” she says to me.

“I didn't invite him, he just showed up on the doorstep,” I say with a shrug. “Like a lost puppy.” I continue to eat looking down. “I did show up unannounced because I wanted to talk, and then she invited me inside. We watched TV and didn't realize the time.” Tomi and Chris nod.

“Do yall share any classes together?” Ben nods. “We share a few classes together, though we don't really talk.” We eat with Tomi and Chris talking about their day. We finish eating and Ben elects to do the dishes. And stand on the side leaning against the counter as I watch him clean the dishes.

“Okay try hard.” he rolls his eyes. “I'm just being a good house guest.” I roll my eyes. “Okay girl.” I stare at the ceiling, the only sound coming from the running water and the sounds of him washing the dishes. He hands me a dish and I put it away. We move like this in silence before the sink is empty.

We look at the clock and it’s almost 10, “You should head home it’s late.” Ben nods. “Trying to run me off already?” I chuckle. “If i was trying to run you off that would've been before you invited yourself to dinner.” he dried off his hands and i walked him to the door.

“See you at school,” I say as he walks out the front door. He nods giving me a small smile, I stand in the doorway as he gets in his car wrapping my jacket around me. I give him a wave before I head inside.

I lay back down, turning the tv back to Barbie's life in the dream house. I watch it in silence before I hear a ding from my phone. I picked it up and it's an Instagram notification.

BEN GROSS HAS FOLLOWED YOU

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I wake up to the face of Tomi shaking me awake, “You know the drill Saturday you have to clean your room.” I groan. “I knowwww.” she rips the blanket off of me leaving me exposed to the harsh elements. “Rise and shine, it's almost 10.” I sigh. Sitting up and rubbing my eyes, “and make sure to take a shower.” I physically roll out of bed falling to the floor not wanting to move or do anything.

I stare at the ceiling contemplating how my life got to this point. Tomi stands above me hands on hip, “Get up lazy bones, and when you're done you need to go outside and stand in the sun for at least twenty minutes.” I sigh sitting up. Every Saturday since I moved here Tomi has made it a point to force me to clean the room im staying in and to stand in the sun for 20 minutes. Something about dopamine, I don't really know.

I get to my feet slowly and dig through my hamper trying to find something clean to put on. I find something to wear before going into the bathroom across the hall to shower, I take a shower just wanting to get it done as fast as possible. I really do need to clean my room, though I would never want to admit it. I get out of the shower putting on the homecoming shirt from my old school and a pair of black sweatpants.

I brush my teeth making sure to do the full three minutes, I go back to the room staring at the mess. There's a ton of dirty dishes on the side table, empty water bottles litter the floor. Dirty clothes piled high in the corner. My bed covered in pillow blanket clothes and empty food containers. The desk my sister put in here for me was covered in old assignments, some half done, some completed and graded.

I sigh rubbing my temple, “This is depressive.” I murmur to myself. Why did Ben even agree to step into this room? It smells like depression and self loathing had a baby. I sigh about sitting on my phone and watching tv procrastination at its finest when I hear a knock on the door. I sigh, going to the front door and opening it. I open it to see Ben standing there with a smile on his face. I cock to my head to the side confused in his hands. I see four large plastic bags full of…

“Is that bleach?” I am confused. He nods, “Have you started cleaning your room yet?” he asks as he pushes his way into the house. I look at him as if he's lost his damn mind which he must've considering he just barged into my house like he knows me. “Why the hell are you in this house?” I ask going to close the door.

I turn to face him, arm crossed, he places down the box and gives me a half assed shrug. “I wasn't doing anything and I figured I'd help you clean your room.” I give him a ‘wtf’ look before he picks up the bag and goes into the room. “I see you haven't started yet.” he says in an annoyed tone.

“What's with the attitude? You're the one who barged in here?” I ask starting to get annoyed.

Before I can really lay into him I hear Tomi's voice ring out. “Sade, have you started cleaning your room?” Ben emerges from the room with a smile on his face like he's supposed to be here. “Good morning Mrs. Subulade.” Tomi stops in her tracks, she looks at me and I give her a shrug.

“Hi Benjamin… What are you doing here?” She asks confusedly as she goes down the final steps. “I figured I'd help Folasade clean her room.” Tomi nods slowly. “Right.” Ben picks up the bags, “I brought gloves, trash bags and cleaning supplies.” Tomi sends me a glance. “Well said? Get to it.” I sigh. Ben gives my sister a wave as she heads back upstairs.

He opens the box of gloves snapping on a pair before holding out a pair for me to take. “Ready to get started?” I sigh, taking the gloves from him. “Whatever Benjamin,”

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“Folasade, why are your lettermen standing up straight?” I hear ben say. I turn around looking up from where I’m at to see Ben holding up my letterman. “I've been meaning to take it to the dry cleaners. I just haven't had time.” Ben rolls his eyes. “Sure, it looks like it hasn't been washed in months.” He places the jacket on the now clear desk.

Ben ties another garbage bag full of trash closed, “I’m gonna take this out to the dumpster, when you're done cleaning off your bed make sure to put your clothes in the washer.” I sigh. “Will do.” he nods and takes the trash bags out of the room. I sweep off the crumbs from my bed moving all the random things that are on my bed, “Why is there a empty blueberry container on my bed?” I mumble.

I put it in one of the trash bags that he hasn't taken out yet. It took us three hours combined to clean the tragedy that was this room. I get off the bed and go through the bag of supplies Ben got. I find a fabric disinfectant and spray it on the bed, the instructions on the back of the bottle says to leave it on for at least ten minutes. I sigh, placing the bottle on the side table that is finally clean.

I go into the wash room and move the load of clean wet clothes into the dry before putting my blanket into the washer. I turn both machines on before heading back to my room to see Ben vacuuming. “I see you were able to put the disinfectant on the bed.” I nod, “You know it.” Tomi pokes her head in.

“Good job guys, this room looks amazing.” Ben smiles, “Thank you Mrs.Carter.” Ben says standing up straighter. “I’ll make sure to leave the remaining cleaning supplies so that Foalsade can use them next week.” Tomi nods. “You hear that? You have cleaning supplies so there’s no reason for your room to get that bad again.” I just nod silently.

“Thanks for helping Benjamin, you've been a massive help. Y'all should go out for lunch, on me.” Tomi says reaching into her pocket to do something on her phone. My pho dings and I pull it out she cash append me 50 dollars. “Thanks Tomi.” I say with a smile. I look at ben, “You ready to go now?” I ask.

Ben nods, “Thank you Mrs.Carter.” Tomi nods. “Have fun guys.” I grab my letterman going to put it on and Ben takes it from me. “You're not about to wear this biohazard outside, plus it's like 90 degrees out you'll have a heat stroke.” Too tired to even fight back i just let him take i.

“Okay benjamin can we go?” I ask hands on hips. He smiles and nods, tucking the jacket under his arm. I slip on my crocs and walk out the door holding it open for him. As he walks out he glances at my shoes, “Why on earth are you wearing socks with your crocs?” I look down at my feet. “Dude no one is trying to raw dog their crocs.” I hear Tomi chuckle and close the door behind us, “Have fun.”

Ben unlocks the car doors, “I'm just saying who wears socks and sandals.” I get into the car, “No one wants to see your grimy grippers.” I motion to his bare feet in his birkenstocks. Ben tosses my jacked in the back seat before getting into the car.

He starts the car and we drive off, “Where did you wanna get lunch?” Ben asks. “Well Tmi sent me 50 dollars so we can get in and out.” I say pulling out my phone to scroll through instagram.”That sounds good.” Ben says with a nod.

Ben pulls into the in and out parking lot and parks, “You ready?” he clicks off his seat belt and looks at me I nod and get out. We get out the car and stand in line, “Did you really not have anything to do on a saturday morning besides help me clean my room?” Ben scoffs rolling his eyes. “Please I had many things to do.” I give him a look that screams, ‘really?’.

He just goes back to looking at the menu, “I had to cut out studying for the APUSH exam for this so if i don't get a one on the test it will be your fault.” I look at him confused. “Isn't that exam in like 3 months?” he nods, “So?” i just shake my head. “The king of the try hards right here.” I give him a round of applause.

We get to the front of the line and place our order, I pay and get our cups. “I gotta go to the restroom can you fill my drink for me?” I nod, “Sure what do you want?” “Get me a diet coke.” I make a face of disgust. But don't say anything. I go to the soda fountain, filling one cup with diet coke and the other with root beer. I put on the lids and look around for a table, I spot an empty booth in the back. I take a seat and open my straw, sticking it into my drink and taking a long sip.

I let out a refreshed sigh, I looked out the window to see the busy streets of Los Angeles. I never would've thought I’d live here. Everything is expensive and the people are rude. I hear my name gets called and I stand up going to the counter and collecting our order.

As i take the tray and turn to head back to the table i nearly drop the tray in shot

Devi is here.

Chapter Text

My eyes widen in shock as I see Devi and her gaggle of friends walk the In-n-Out. I quickly walk back to the table placing the tray down with a slam. I sit and whip out my phone opening Instagram.

Ben! Ben! Ben! I spam his inbox, devi is here, how long does it take to take a piss, nigga respond. I peer over at Devi and she's ordering at the counter, finally Ben emerges from the rest room. He walks passed them and stops like a deer in headlights. Devi turn her head to say something to her friend and they make eye contact.

I gasp, its like watching a soap opera, “Hey!” Devi shouts. She pushes past her friends and walks up to him. “Why the hell did you bail on us?” the only thing Ben can do is open and close his mouth like a fish. “You knew that I needed to do that stupid marathon so I could pass gym!” Devi exclaimed. “What kind of friend are you?”

That’s real rich coming from the girl who was two-timing him. Still Ben doesn't say anything. I gotta get him out of there, I raise my hand, “Ben!” he snaps out of his trance and he speed walks over to our table and sits down.

I push his food towards him, “Do you not check your phone?” I ask confused on his lack of response. “Hmm? “ he says as he picks at his food. “Check your phone,” I say bluntly, i take a bite of my burger. He looks at his phone I assume he’s looking at the texts I sent him.

He puts it down silently and starts to eat, I decide against forcing him to talk, so we just eat in silence. We both finish our food and we clean up our table. We walk out making sure not to walk past Devi’s table. We get into the car and I drum my hands on my thighs waiting on him to say something.

Ben starts the car and pulls out of the parking spot, we drive in silence. Ten minutes we pull into a drive cleaners parking lot and Ben gets out of the car silently. I look at him confused as he opens the back door pulls out my jacket and starts to walk towards the entrance.

“What the fuck-” I mutter quickly getting out the car slamming the door behind me. “What are you doing with my jacket?” I ask as I storm towards him. He ignores me and heads inside, “has he lost his mind?” I mutter as I swing the door open. I see him at the counter talking to the store owner my letterman in another worker's hand as they take it behind the counter.

I approach the pair, “What do you think you're doing?” Ben looks at me and sighs, “I’m paying to get your jacket cleaned. Obviously.” Obviously? Obviously? He’s having an attitude with me right now? He pays for the service and walks away leaving me to follow behind him like a loser.

I follow him out, “I see that you've really lost your mind.” I say as I get into the car. “Mhm,” Ben says ignoring me. “I understand that seeing Devi must’ve sent in a mental spiral that left you unable to complete basic tasks but sacrificing my jacket is beyond-” he cuts me off “Put your seat belt on.” I click my seatbelt on, “So as I was saying touch my shit without asking and I’ll show you how we get down in Texas.“ Ben starts the car, getting us out of the parking lot.

We drive back in silence, me silently fuming, Ben's eyes on the road. He breaks the silence with a sentence, “So… how are you gonna show me how you get down in Texas?” he gives me a glance and breaks out into a fit of laughter. “Bro you know what I meant.” I exclam laughing. “Do I? I dont know how you get down in texas.” I let out another fit of giggles.

We make the drive back to the house, he parks the car and hands me a slip of paper. “Here, it’s the ticket to pick up your jacket it will be ready next Saturday” I nod taking the slip of papers. He unlock the door and Ii step out my, he grabs my hand stopping me,

“Hmm? I look at him confused, “Thanks Folasade for earlier.” I nod, “No problem, see you at school.” He nods letting go of my hand. “See you.”

Chapter Text

I lay out the clothes I’m gonna wear to school tomorrow, Tomi says its a good idea to try and create routines. It’ll make it go smoother or something. I start to reach for my letterman's spot, where I usually toss it, but I curse,. remembering what that bastard Ben did to my jacket.”Why would he think it would be a good idea to take my letterman to the cleaners?”

“No one asked him to do that.”I mutter as i open my closet. “And noone asked that fucking loser to come to my house uninvited to help me clean.” I search through my closet to find a different jacket to wear,  “I need my letterman, who fucking asked him to touch my shit.” There more clothes hung up then theres ever been since Ben forced me to clean up and hang up my clothes.

 I cuss and fuss as I angrily shift through the few hangers of clothes that I have. “No. No. No. NO!” I'm frustrated that I can't find anything. I slam my closet door shut with a huff, the walls shaking. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, I flop on my bed, messing up the sheets in the process. “God, he’s so fucking annoying.”

I recall how Ben scolded me for sleeping on a bed with messed up sheets, “Really dude you’re sheets are basically in the hallway.” his voice rings out in my ears. “God what a fucking anoying sone of a-” I hear a knock on the door, “Come in?” The door opens, and I’m greeted by my brother-in-law, Chris. 

“You okay?” he asks, leaning against the door frame. “I heard a lot of cussing.” I just sigh, I forget just how loud I can get. “Yeah... I just don't have my letterman.” He raised a brow, confused; he has a right to look confused. I never go anywhere without it, ever since mom and dad passed, I never went anywhere without it. 

“Ben, the boy who ate dinner with us took it to the dry cleaners.” Chris nods slowly. “Okay… Well, do you know when you're gonna get it back?” I sit up on my elbows. “I don't know, I was so mad I didn't ask.” Chris nods. “Well, look on the bright side, you did need to clean your letterman.” I glare at him silently.

Though he is right the letterman was quite gross, it hadn’t been washed since the day of the accident, it stayed wrapped around me or being used as a blanket or pillow. It‘s me, it’s my parents, it’s my family. “Whatever Chris.” I roll over, I want my jacket, I want mom, I want dad. 

I hear movement and the sound of hangers moving, “So you need a jacket for school tomorrow.” I make a noise of acknowledgement. “Well I’m sure we can find you a jacket to wear, and if not, you can borrow one of Tomi’s.” I nod, “Yeah… sure.”  “What about your AJR hoodie?” I look up and see him holding the hoodie I got from the band's concert. 

Dad and Mom took me there as a birthday present last year, I stared at it before nodding. “Sure.” Chris smiles, placing it on top of the pants I had already laid out. “See, it’ll be alright, this will hold you over until you get your letterman back.” I nod rolling over my back to him. I haven’t even worn that jacket yet, its too much. The idea that they’ll never take me to another concert, another play, another anything is too much.

“Okay, well, goodnight, try not to stay up too late.” Chris says dragging me out of my thoughts. “Mhm” I murmur I clench my comforter in my fist. “Don't forget your lunch in the fridge in the morning.” 

 “Night Chris.” I say, picking up my phone, unlocking it and opening Instagram. “Night, Folasade.” He leaves, closing the door behind him, leaving me to my own thoughts. He’s probably gonna go to bed, or talk to Tomi’s about what just happened. They’re always breathing down my neck about something or other. I go to my and Ben's chat history. 

When am I gonna get my jacket back? Before I can even hit send, I see three dots pop up. Indicating that he’s typing something, I sit up, “What could he have to say to me?” Be ready at 7. I stare at the message. “Who the hell does he think he is?” I mutter before fixing my fingers to type. Are all Californians rude and entitled or is it just u? The dots appear again and I stare at the phone waiting for a reply. 

Okay, so I’ll pick you up at 7:15. What the fuck is he on? “Wait a minute,” I mutter, coming to a realization. I scramble outta bed, leaving my room and opening the front door. The neighborhood is dark, which makes sense. It’s damn near eleven. The street lights shine, and I see a car pull up to Devi’s house. “What a bitch.” I mutter, recalling how she treated Ben. 

I stare, squinting at the car, she gets out the car, all smiles.  She leans down, talking to the driver. I step out of the house, my bare feet on the outside mat, I stare at the driver and he turns his head enough where I can see who it is. I gasp it’s Paxton, “Wait, why am I gasping?" That's her boyfriend.” I dont know too much about Paxton just that he was super popular and a slut. 

 I let the door close and I stare at the couple making out in their car. I scoff, opening up my phone to text Ben. you’re doing this shit to stalk Devi arent u? I stare at my phone, looking up to see Devi finally getting out of the car. She spots me and gives me an awkward smile. I just give her a nod, going back to staring at my phone. Ben sees the message but doesn't respond. I lean against the door and laugh to myself. “What a fucking bozo.” 

I’ll pick you up at 6:45

Chapter Text

“BEEP… BEEP… BEEP” 

I groan, I reach over, yanking my phone off the charger, turning off the alarm. I curse, looking at the time, “Why the fuck is it five am?” I cough my throat and mouth bone dry. Why did god have to make me a mouth breather?

I put my phone back down and reach for my trusty bed water bottle. It’s a empty water bottle I drank but never finished a week ago that I keep on my bed for times like these. I grope around the sheetS trying to find it.

I feel my sleepiness slipping away and I groan, I have to close my eyes in sixty seconds or else I won't be able to go back to sleep. I thrash around the bed hoping to find the bottle. I groan again realizing that bastard made me throw away the bottle. 

My mind drifts back to Saturday, “Why do you have so many half-drunk water bottles? What are you? A hoarder?” I mutter my voice raising pitch to mock Ben's voice. “Fucking dick head.” I mutter trying to moisten my mouth with my saliva, rolling back over to my side. “For your information my mother was in fact a hoarder.” I mutter under my breath my mouth is still a bit dry but it's manageable. 

I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep but can't seem to, I toss and turn in bed. My mind goes back to Saturday. Though he got on my ass for the state of the room he didn't seem… Disgusted? I don't know. I would hope the dick head wouldn't judge me considering he's the one who just showed up at my house with cleaning supplies. 

Wait? How did he know I was gonna clean my room on Saturday? I groan. Thinking back to Friday night at dinner, nothing seemed to stick out. We just talked about the mundane, steering away from the reasons as to why Tomi is taking care of her kid sister. Or why I moved in the first place. Just school, and work.

“Wait a minute did that asshole mean to just jump me at my house and force me to clean my room?” I mutter coming to the realization. I scoff, “What is with him?? He shows up at my house to apologize and then the following day he shows up to clean up my room? And then he takes my jacket??" I sit up.

“We’re barely acquaintances let alone friends, we’ve known each other for what? Two weeks? And the only reason why he’s talking to me is because he got dumped by Devi.” I groan thinking back to that night we meet. Seeing him so rejected and sad hurt my heart. “Thats so sad, I couldn't imagine a guy two timing me and then I’m the one who didn't get chosen. 

I shudder at the thought, “But then again I would have to get a boyfriend first.” I chuckle falling back on my back, a yawn slips out of my lips, I must be getting tired again thank god. I roll over cuddling into my blanket, “Me? With a boyfriend? Get real?” I close my eyes, finally getting a bit of sleep.

I hear my phone ring the sound dragging me out of my sleep. I pick it up, holding it close to my face so that I can actually read it. Ben Gross is calling you. I sigh, swiping my finger across the screen to answer it. “What?” I ask, putting the phone to my ear, my voice thick. “Falashaday I’m waiting outside. What are you doing?” What? My brain is still foggy. I pull the phone away to look at the time, it's 6:45. 

I sigh, yawning, “First of all dick head dont call me falashaday, you're just mispronouncing my name on purpose.” I sit up stretching my arms out above my head, I let out a groan.  “Second of all, who asked you to come and get me?” I threw the blankets off of me as I stepped out of bed. “Third of all, give me ten minutes, it’ll give you time to stalk your ex.” I hear him start talking but I hang up before he can get a word out. 

I yawn, throwing my phone on my bed and getting dressed, I slip on an old band tee, athletic shorts, my socks and crocs before heading to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth humming a song under my breath, “I’m an object in motion I’ve lost all emotion” I murmur to myself before I spit into the sink. 

I scrub my face trying not to do too much of an ass job, “Okay, face, teeth, clothes…” I go through my mental checklist, “Right lunch!” I go to the fridge, grabbing my lunch box out the fridge. I go back to my room shoving my computer into my bag and slathering lotion onto my body. “I can't be ashy.” I mutter as I lotion my ankles. 

I grab my stuff bounding upstairs. I knock on my sister's door, “Going to school, have  a good day, bye love you!” I say quickly before going back down stairs and out the door. I see Ben sitting in his car, his head turned to look at Devi's house. I lock to the door behind me walking down the drive, he doesn't notice me. 

I grin and knock on the car window, “Good morning stalker!” I yell. He let out a yelp in surprise and I cackled at his reaction. He unlocked the door, “Get in the car, you're 15 minutes late.” He scolds as I get into the car, still cracking up. “Mhmm well you got 15 minutes extra staring at your ex’s house.” He just presses his lips together and starts driving. “Put your seat belt on.” Is all he says to me which i do.

I let out a yawn, “So what was the real reason why you decided to pick me up suddenly. It's not like we're particularly close.” he gives me a side eye, “Isn’t this better than taking the bus to school.” I lean back a wave of tiredness washing over me. “No, I get to sleep in when I take the bus.”

He scoff, “All you do is school and sleep”

“And all you do is be a try hard at school, we can't all be like you Benji.” I shoot back before yawning. I’m too tired to do this whole back and forth thing. I give him a sideways glance and sees his ears tipped red. We make it to the school and i grab my stuff getting out of the car. 

I go to sling my jacket over my shoulder and I realize that I forgot it. “Fuck!” I curse. “What?” Ben asks as he closes the car door. “I forgot my jacket.” he comes over to my side of the car, “Damn that sucks.” he sticks his hand in his pockets. “And your letterman isn't gonna be done at the dry cleaners until wednesday. They need to fix the sleeve that has a hole in it.” 

I take a huff of air realizing just how annoying he was about the jacket and how annoying he is now. “Why the hell did you take my jacket to the cleaners to begin with.” He turns his head to look at something, choosing to not answer my question before opening the car door grabbing something. 

“I mean who asked you to come to my house to clean up my room?” I lean against the car door trying to get a peek at his face. “Well?” I want answers. He stands up straight staring at me, his brown eyes flickering in the early sunlight. I clear my throat and he tosses something at my face. 

“Just wanted to help a friend.” I curse pulling whatever he threw at me away from my face. It’s a brown Columbia university hoodie. I scoff, “What a corny fucking line. Did you use that on devi?” He gets a weird expression and slams the door closed. “Whatever Folasade.” And walks away. “I’ll take that as a yes!” I yell at his receding back. 

I roll my eyes, slipping the hoodie on, “He’s so sensitive.” I smooth out the wrinkles using the car window as a mirror, “Though he has a right too.” I catch up to him on the way there and I spot Devi and Paxton, “Wow they look different when they aren't making out in a car.” I say crossing my arms. “Wait a minute." I stare at Devi and realize she's wearing Paxton's hoodie, a Sherman Oaks swim team hoodie. 

“Benjamin you fucker.” I adjust my backpack strap and march over to Ben who's currently putting things into his locker. I slam the door closed in his face. “What the hell Benjamin you came to me basically crying about finally not being devi fucking dog and you do this?!” I yell. He looks at me confused, “What the hell are you talking about? And when the hell have I cried to you about anything?”

I scoff, “You trying to deny it, Benji?” I use the nickname he hates. His face flushes, with annoyance. “You coming to my house on Saturday? You picking me up today? You were literally staring at her house like a fucking stalker when I was walking to the car!” I curse. I motion to the hoodie I’m wearing. “This hoodie? You're trying to get back at Devi for dumping you.” he sputters, “What are you talking about I’m just-” I cut him off. “I get it, Benjamin. I do, you got dumped, and that sucks I get it I really do. But don't drag me into your schemes to get back at her.” I spat slamming my fist on the lockers in anger. 

The bang of the metal rattles out in the hallway silencing the students. I feel eyes on me and I feel my face get hot. “See you around benji.” I say walking passed him. “Folasade Come on!’ I hear him call out to me but I ignore him shoving my hand into my pockets.

Chapter Text

In the few shared classes we have I ignore Ben’s attempts to talk to me, “Come on Folasade.” he pleads. “Why are you acting like this? Will you just let me try to explain myself.” I roll my eyes but stay silent. He had a chance to explain when I asked him about it in the car but he didn't. I don't want to hear about it now that I’m upset.

In chemistry I put my head down after I answer for roll call, the usual routine. However now I put my head phones on blocking out any attempts Ben can do to try and explain himself. I put on the song Inertia by AJR, a song that Ben has repeatedly made fun of me for liking. My chest burns with emotions too many to think about. I shut my eyes trying to block out the fluorescent lights but they still shine through even with my eyes closed. Curse you, school light.

Fluorescent lighting is the bane of my existence as someone who sleeps in classes a lot. It’s either a bright light or a dingy yellow and there’s no in between. Between the fluorescence and how high they crank the AC, it makes taking naps uncomfortable. But I always find a way to get more sleep in. It’s a gift really, to be able to get comfortable and sleep no matter where you are. 

I adjust in my chair, my back starts to ache, on a normal day I would just stretch and get back to sleep. However, today is not a normal day and I can’t stretch. I can’t handle Ben taking the possibility of eye contact to deliver his point. I shift keeping my head down, but I’m still uncomfortable. 

 My thoughts swirl in my head, I’m such an idiot, I can't believe I let Ben play me like this. I knew it was weird when he kept showing up to my house to help me. He was too kind, too quick, to everything. Though my head is down and music is blasting through my  headphones, class still drags on. I tap my foot impatiently for the class to end, most days I’m out like a light but Benjamin, causing this burning chest, has other plans. This is such an inconvenience, a boy I barely even know is ruining my school time naps. I mean I've known him for what? Maybe a month? Maybe more, maybe less, and before Devi dumped him he barely spoke a word to me.

I should've seen this coming a mile away, I should've been able to tell he was using me, that this isn't how friendship works. I should’ve been able to tell something was up with him from the beginning. No one is that nice that quick. The bell rings, bringing me out from my thoughts and I sigh, “Thank god.” I stand up slinging my bag onto my shoulder with more force then necessary. “Remeber test tomorrow!” The teacher calls out as i quickly walk out the first one out of the room. 

I don't turn around to see if Ben is following me, it doesn't matter anyway because he would never do that. This is when he follows Devi to their next shared class. I know he does it, that he follows her around the school keeping his distance. He doesn't bring it up and I act like I don't know. I was trying to be considerate, he just had a break up… a MESSY one. 

I clench my jaw refusing to form an expression that shows I’m upset or cares. So bold coming from the girl that yelled at him in front of half of the student body. He’s already getting made fun of for getting dumped like that, I can’t believe that I-. I furrow my brow as I walk to my English class, “Why am I defending him?” I ask myself to take a seat. 

He fucked me over, not the other way around. It’s not my fault that he decided to get dumped in front of a houseful of people. I look at the whiteboard and groan, “Fuck” I curse. Test day. Put phones and laptops away! Gosh, how could I forget we had a test, you would think after being here for almost 2 months I might've found my groove but I haven;t yet and it’s frustrating. 

Other students filling in they must have studied for the test or at the very least paid attention in class none of them even look surprised or fazed. A girl sits at the desk next to me. I tap her desk to get her attention, “Hey do you know what the test is over?” She pulls out her AirPod from her ear, “It’s just summarizing the reading.” my stomach drops and I frown, “What reading?” Now we both look confused. 

“The reading he assigned last week.” I try to think back to last week but it’s all grey and jumbled, did he mention a reading? I just nod giving her a small but awkward smile, “Guess I wasn't here.” the girl nods going back to her own devices.  “Oh my god we are so fucked.” I whisper to myself as I face forward. 

i  slip my phone into the front pocket of my grab, exchanging it for a mechanical pencil, “Put your phone away," Mr.Kulkarni says with a smile on his face. I take a deep breath, leaning against my chair. I’m already not doing well in my other classes i dont know what I’m gonna do. I don't even know the name of the book we read. I drown in my thoughts,  “Except you, Folasade.” Hearing my name i look up to see Mr.Kulkarni pointing to me, i perk up. What? “You are going to the principals office so grab your things and take this pass.” he holds up the pink slip in his hand.  

What's happening? I stand up, grabbing my bag, don't tell me they're calling me down to rip me a new asshole about my grades. I frown as I take the slip from him , “And remember Folasade you matter!” he gives me an enthusiastic thumbs up and I look at him confused. What the hell? I just nod going through the door. 

What could the principal possibly want from me? Aren't grades usually handled by the counselors? My stomach turns, god. What will Tomi say when she hears about my grades, what about the rest of the family? God what am I gonna do? 

The guilt of my grades and my impending doom weigh heavy on me as I force myself to the principals office. I open the door to the front office to see a few other students waiting as well. Dman are we all failing classes right now? The receptionist, an older white lady, smiles, “Ah are you here for Teens with Courage?” My brow furrows, “What?” I hand her my pink slip. “I was told to come here from my teacher.” she looks at the note and smiles nodding like she knows something I don't. 

“You can take a seat with the others.” others? I nod, taking a seat next to a kid with a mop full of head black hair peaking out from underneath a hood. I look around the office, a plastic plant sits on a bookshelf next to a past year's yearbook. We sat for around ten minutes with a few more students coming in with their own pink passes. The principal walks out of her office, a huge grin on her face, “Welcome, Teens with Courage!” My brows knit together, wait…. Is this group therapy?