Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dear Hera,
Today was an important day. For one, it’s been exactly one year since you left. I know you said that you left for a reason that you couldn’t explain to me because I wouldn’t believe you, but I wish you told me. Maybe then I’d understand why you ran from our amazing family. I miss you. I know you won’t get these, because you won’t read anything from me, or Osito Bimbo, or Cucurucho, or anyone from the Federation. But, in the tiny chance that you see this, please write back. I miss you every day.
Your sister,
Jaiden

I finished the letter with tears in my eyes, I tried to blink them away as quickly as possible, so I didn’t stain the letter to Hera. I know it’s short but I’ve been bombarding her with a letter every day, so they don’t need to be long anymore. After that, I sealed the letter and sent it up our mail shoot in the room. Alright done! Now onto the ne-

“Letter for Bluebird!” The voice had come from outside, as one of the mail workers walked by my room. I ran up to the door and opened it as he handed me the letter.

I looked down at the letter to see the best thing ever. The letter was from Bahgera. I didn’t believe it at first, I even pinched myself and everything, but I’m not dreaming. I’ve never been more happy with a letter before. I quickly thanked the worker and ran back to my room. Today's plans can wait!!! Bahghera’s letter comes first!

Dear Jaiden,
Hi, it’s me Baghera. I’m sorry I didn’t write sooner, I was so caught up in life outside of the federation. The outer island is quite amazing, I think you’d love it. However, it still isn’t safe enough for me. I’m on the first train out of the island today. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you out of there sooner, but I still want you to find out the truth of the federation for yourself. Attached below are a couple of things from me. I still love you so much, but I really can't stay. I hope you finally understand everything the federation did to us
Love you, Sisters forever
Baghera

While I tried to even process what I just read, something fell out of the envelope, hitting the ground with a small thunk. On the floor, lies a small locket. I knelt and picked it off the floor, trying to see whatever was inside. I quickly pry it open to see a picture that I cherished, me and Baghera ( 7 and 9 respectively). Hugging each other, with our little missing tooth smiles. A small moment that I still cherish. I clip it around my neck and move to the other thing in the envelope, a note with a plan.
Jaiden, if you want to find the truth about the federation, follow these steps
Do this during freetime, tell Cucurucho you’re going to the library.
Sneak out the second they look away
Get into the staff library
Find you file
Good luck! -Hera

Okay, okay, okay we got this. I’m just gonna take a tiny peak, I mean, after all, it’s just a harmless peak, right? This couldn’t have been better timing, because the announcement just played in my room.

“Bluebird, your free time starts now, we are sending a staffer to your room shortly.” I mentally hyped myself up to pull this off. I can do this, I can. I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn’t even notice Osito Bimbo till the familiar sound of his voicebox warming up filled the room.

“Oh Osito Bimbo! I’m sorry I barely saw you there,”

“No problem!” He said with a smile, “Now, where do you want to go for free time.”

“The library!!!” I said, realizing it was too loud when Osito Bimbo winced “Ohmigod I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize how loud I was!”

“No matter bluebird, now, let’s go to that library that you’re so excited to see huh?”

We went to the library and I sat there for what felt like hours, staring at a book that I didn’t care about, just waiting for him to go. But he stuck, also reading a book that he didn’t seem to care about at all. Eventually, I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t be able to do it at all until I heard the familiar beeping of his watch.

“Ah I have to go, you’ll be fine here by yourself right?”

“Of course!” I said, putting on my best innocent look, hoping that he’ll buy it.

“Alright then, I’ll be going bluebird, don’t cause too much trouble alright?”

“Okay,” I said with a smile on my face. I can do this, I can.

As Osito Bimbo walked away, I prepared the second bit of the plan. Baghera says that there's a hole in the wall, hidden behind one of the million posters. She said the third poster on the right. It took a second to find because I wasn’t quite sure where she started counting the posters. But once I found it, it was quite simple. I peeled the tape back and lifted the poster. And sure enough, there it was the tunnel to the staff room. The tunnel was weird and stuffy. I could barely fit my wings into it. I crawled for what felt like hours until finally, I saw a light. I crawled towards it as quickly as I could, to make sure no one found me in the tunnel or found the tunnel in general. The area I arrived in was quite small. It was either a broom closet or some kind of storage unit. I quickly got out of the room, and decided that it was in fact, the broom closet.

The actual room was pretty dull, the picture of a staff break room. I pulled the map that Baghera gave me out of my pocket. She had drawn it on the back of her plan. According to the map, the file room should be just downstairs, accessible by the door by the entrance to the breakroom. The map also mentioned the code for the file room door 03-22-23. I took a second to just take it all in. 24 hours ago, if you had told me that I would be standing in the staff break room, getting ready to break into the file room, I’d call you crazy. But here I am, holding a letter from my older sister, preparing to do something I’d never even dreamed of doing before.

The file room was less stuffy than the tunnel, by not by much. It smelled like wet paper and old musty cabinets. If my nerves didn’t make me hightail it out of there, the smell would. I could leave right now, and no one would even notice that I had done this whole thing. I could probably just turn it around, go out that door, and just forget this whole thing ever happened. But I can’t do that can I, because if I turn around right now, I’ll never know why Baghera left, and I’ll always feel like she’s disappointed that I never went through with the plan, and I never found out what it all meant. Okay then, the decision has been made, I’m going in, and I’m finding my file and I’m getting out of here. The cabinet was big and complex; I couldn’t even find my file. I looked at every file in the J section but nothing, I almost thought it had been burned or something, until I remembered that it would probably be under “B” because they all know me as Bluebird; and sure enough, there it was.

The file was pretty bare bones, just everything you would need on file. My medical history, my allergies, my test scores, and my life story, are out on no more than a couple of papers. It’s almost sad how little there is on it, but at least nothing suspicious. In fact, this is just a normal file. Huh? I guess that… Bahgera was wrong. The federation isn’t evil, they aren’t cruel, and they don’t hate me. Hah! Take that Baghera! It’s kinda of disappointing, well time to go back. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I was about to leave when I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Someone’s in the meeting room. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. I can’t leave now, as the realization kicks in I practically have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop me from screaming. I wanted to do a million things, try to run and maybe get out before they notice, or maybe hide, or explode (if I could just do that), or maybe duck behind something, or-. An all too familiar voice stops me in my tracks, I almost have to listen in. So, despite myself, I lowered myself to the floor slowly and listened to the conversation.

“You understand that Bluebird has almost aged out of the program, correct? You understand what must be done as well, correct?”

That must’ve been Cucuroucho. I hadn’t heard his voice as much as Osito Bimbo, but I still recognized him. But, what could he possibly mean by aged out? Also what program? What’s going on?

“I understand, I’ve been careful in forming a bond with her. We can’t have this go down like the last one.”

That makes me feel a lot better, I mean, he thinks that we’re bonded as well? That’s nice, but what does he mean by the last one? Was that Baghera? What’s happening?

“You cannot possibly be bonded to her, can you? I mean honestly, most of this was your idea to begin with.”

“Of course, I’m not bonded with her. It’s just a means to an end, I mean, after all, it’ll keep her docile. You know I don’t care for her in the slightest. I just do it to keep her from asking too many questions.”

Suddenly everything I know falls apart and crumbles into a million pieces beneath my feet. It crumbles like a glass pane that you jumped onto, and it feels like it too. I can’t breathe, it hurts, almost more than a broken leg. I can’t believe it, he was the only one I trusted. I felt like I wanted to melt away. I was about to run until something caught my ear, almost pulling me back in.

“It’s a shame that our previous attempt got out, don’t let it happen again. If they have the potential to get out without being mind wiped we could be potentially destroyed. Just keep her docile, so we can test the new mind wipe on her.”

So this is what Baghera meant. To be honest, I wish I had never gone on this mission. I know that it’s worse to live in ignorance forever, but I wish I did. Because, at least then I wouldn’t feel as awful as I do about everything. If I got my mind wiped, at least I wouldn’t notice. But, now I need to make an important decision. Do I run, or hide, or just hide here forever? What should I do? What can I do? How will I-

“Hey! Are you one of the test subjects?! You can’t be down here!”

It was a split-second decision. I barely had time to react before I panicked, turned around, and hit the poor guy right in the face with enough force to knock him out. And knock him out it did. It was a split-second decision, and I felt really awful about it.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry-”

But then, I noticed something, he’s got a badge. I need that badge. Who cares about him (sorry again), I need that badge. I need a plan next, I can’t be more than like 10 minutes away from being discovered, and presumably murdered or something.
Get out. Get out of here, out of the library, and aim for the door.
Steal the uniform from the poor guy knocked out
Try and disguise yourself as much as you can.
RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

Good. Good plan Jaiden. Okay, first step: get the… uniform from the poor guy, and put it on. It’s about three sizes too big, but I put it on anyway. Over the hospital gown, my wings, and most of my identifiable features. As a finishing touch, I stole his hat, and tucked my hair underneath it, covering the wings on my head as well. It’s not comfortable at all, but it’ll have to do. Alright, step one done! On to the next step. I’ve gotta get away from here before anyone sees me. It’s hard. The door is creaky and loud. It’ll move the dust everywhere, and I’ll get noticed. But, the plan seemingly goes off without a hitch. Alright. Alright. I’m in the break room now. My eyes scan the room, and I find the staff door. Normally, I would try it, but I do have a staff key card, sooo.

The door opens with a click, it’s not that loud, so I quickly get out, and close it behind me. I look around the hall, scanning for anyone who could stop me. The only way out is the elevator. Which is at the end of the hall, and is only unlockable by keycard. I can’t fly down t

As I walk, I silently panic and cry. I’m so scared, I’m so scared. I don’t want this, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t. I wish I had never done this. I walk down the hall, for almost twenty minutes before the intercom roars to life.

“Lockdown! Lockdown! We are on Lockdown mode! A test subject is missing! Be on high alert, and look for anything suspicious!”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I thought I would have more time. My pace picks up, I’m looking at the floor, almost running down the hall at this point, when I hear a voice.

“Hey! Hey! You there!”

Oh no. Oh no. I can’t be spotted, I don’t turn around, which I think is my downfall, because suddenly, the person yelling at me grabs my shoulder and turns me around.

“Hey! Hey! I don’t recognize you! Security! Security!”

Oh god, oh no oh no. Well, no point in hiding anymore, I quickly spread my wings, seeing as it’ll be easier to fly than run. But they’re hot on my trail, I can probably outspeed them as long as I just keep-

Bang!

A white-hot pain burns through my left wing, leaving a hole behind. It takes me a second to comprehend that, they’re shooting at me. I can barely feel my wing, but I keep pushing, I can’t let myself die here. As much as it hurts, I push harder and harder. I just gotta make it to the elevator, then I’m fine. I keep pushing, but they keep shooting.

Bang! A bullet grazes my wing, pulling a few feathers with it. I can barely push through the pain. I can see the elevator, it’s so close. Tears flow down my cheeks, but I keep pushing. I can hear the workers behind me, guns blazing, I can even hear the bullets going over my head, but I still made it.

I slam my arm into the elevator, not caring about any bruising. I’m almost out of here. I grab the keycard from my pocket, I touch it to the elevator keypad, and right before I can get in, I feel a massive burst of pain in my back, and I fall to the ground. I can’t feel anything in my wings anymore. I don’t even think I can move them at the moment, and even if I could, I don’t think moving would be wise at the moment.

“You there” I recognize that voice, that’s Osito Bimbo isn’t it, I think it is. “Surrender, and we might spare you.”

“O-Osito bimbo?”

“Bluebird?”

“Yeah. It’s me.” I tried to stand but promptly fell again.

“Oh my, don’t try to stand up, you’re very weak. Here, take some food.”

As I eat I can feel my hearts go up, till I can at least walk again. It’s nice to be able to heal at least. Then, I turn back up to Osito Bimbo, who smiles down at me

“Well, if you’re done with your little rebellious stint, let’s go back to your room.”

I fall into his embrace for a second, almost forgetting exactly what he did, until a little voice yells in my head.

“You can’t forget how willing he is to throw you away Jaiden! Don’t just go back!!”

… That voice is right, isn’t it? I can’t stay here, or stay with him. But I also can’t go. I don’t want to leave, but I can’t stay. I’m still not great, I can barely feel any strength in my wings, but with my last out of strength, I push off of Osito Bimbo, and kick him in the chest. Throwing myself into the elevator door, and slamming the card into the panel, and surprisingly, it opened.

I quickly slammed myself into the wall before Osito got up. And with the last of my energy, I flapped my wings to slam the door closed, and collapse against the wall. I can’t feel my wings anymore, but that’s okay because I’m alive. I think I keep blacking out again and again but that’s okay because I’m out. I’m free. As I black out again, I can hear the elevator door opening. I can hear the voice of a boy, who must’ve seen me.

“Phil! Phil! Look! There’s a kid over there!!”

“What?? I don't see anythin-”

And after that, I heard soft steps coming up to me, and my body slowly raising.

“Oh jeeze kiddo, let’s get you somewhere warm okay”