Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That sound, awful and grating, crashed through her mind like a wave in a storm.

The screech of tires and the thunder of solid metal smashing together were louder than anything Annie had ever heard. Or maybe it was the screaming, hers or someone else’s, she wasn’t quite sure – or even that eerie cracking of glass that shouldn’t be able to break was even louder.

Then, there were the daisies. They were always there, fluttering across her vision like butterflies in a meadow painted red.

Or maybe the loudest thing she ever heard was the silence that came after, after the daisies had settled around what remained, their white petals bright with blood.

But then, there was something else. A loud, incessant rumbling.

And Annie shot up with a gasp in her bed.

She rubbed her eyes and glanced around her. There was no wreckage – no screaming, no blood, and more importantly, no ugly flowers. Her room was a mismatch of colour – purples and blues that she found awfully comforting, but overall, it was a very displeasing aesthetic to most peoples’ eyes. Several of her friends had offered to redecorate, but she thought there was a certain charm about it; she didn’t see much point in having something so insignificant be so organised if it took so much unnecessary maintaining.

It took her a few extra moments to realise that the sound she’d heard wasn’t just in her dream. Her phone was vibrating on her nightstand, loud and demanding, and she groaned when she caught sight of the name.

Reiner.

Of course he would be calling today.

Annie debated not answering. But then, she realised, he would just call, again and again, until eventually, he would give in and show up at her apartment. It was probably the day she most wanted to avoid him, but it was definitely the day that she had the least chance of doing so.

So, with a sigh, she picked up the phone.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey, sunshine,” came Reiner’s far too smug voice.

She didn’t think he tried to sound like an asshole – she felt that Reiner just was, so deeply, an asshole, that it just shone through his voice. That being said, he was still her best friend, but she knew he’d probably describe her in a similar way. Their dynamic was one few understood and far too recently, as she was reminded by the date, the number of people who got them had decreased too soon.

“Did I wake you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “I was having a great dream, too.”

“Was I there?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I was lying. It was a nightmare.”

“Shouldn’t be surprised since you saw me there.”

Annie’s lips curled. “Yeah. It’s hard to convince myself this isn’t part of my nightmare.”

Reiner’s laugh echoed down the line. The sound of it, at least, made her heart feel slightly less heavy, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

“Well, I hate to disappoint,” said Reiner. “But this is real.”

“That’s horrible news.”

“I figured it would be,” he said. Then, his voice softened. “How are you?”

She knew the question was coming, but as it turned out, she wasn’t as prepared for it as she thought she would be.

How was she? Better than a month ago. Well, not exactly – better than a month ago, minus a day. Since then, each day got a little bit easier, but now, on the anniversary of her crash …

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Are you?”

Annie sighed. “Reiner. I’m not gonna kill myself.”

“I don’t think you’re going to kill yourself,” he said. Then, he sighed. “I know you hate talking about your feelings in general, and especially with this, but … I just don’t want you to get bad again.”

“What a lovely wake-up call,” she said flatly.

Reiner sighed again. “Sorry. I can be more chipper, if you want.”

“You aren’t very chipper in general,” she said.

“Not true,” he said pointedly. “I’m more chipper than you.”

The truth was, Reiner had been chipper – about a month ago. Annie had always had a habit of being pessimistic, but Reiner had always been obnoxiously optimistic. But ever since the accident, he seemed to lose that part of himself, although it was never something she would dare to point out. That would only offer him the opportunity to point out how much she had changed, and that was the last thing she wanted.

“That’s not particularly hard,” she said.

Reiner paused. “Fair point.”

After a far too long silence, Annie said, “Is that all you wanted?”

“Well, no,” he said. “I was actually going to offer to come over.”

Annie’s heart sank. If she could think of the worst fate she could possibly live on that day, it would definitely be Reiner coming over.

She supposed it was nice that he had seen the date – maybe realised it was coming up, the thirteenth of September, and accidentally counted down to it in the way she had – and thought to call her first thing in the morning to make sure she was alright. But Annie had spent every day since the thirteenth of August trying desperately not to think about what had happened, and here he was, calling her up like he was doing some sort of impromptu therapy session.

“You really don’t have to do that,” she said.

Reiner sighed. He seemed to sigh a lot when he talked to her now. “Annie. I just …”

“Just what?” she asked.

He paused for too long.

“It’s fine,” she said. “If you come over, we’ll just spend all day moping about what happened, and I don’t really feel up to that. I’d rather drink a bottle of wine in the bath.”

“That’s not really a healthy coping mechanism.”

“No,” she agreed. “But I’m busy tomorrow, so at least I’ll be able to pull myself out of bed in the morning. If you come over, I’ll just end up crying, and you’ll cry, and …”

Annie felt a lump forming in her throat and swallowed. She was very glad Reiner hadn’t just decided to show up because he definitely would be able to decipher the pain on her face.

“Annie,” he said gently. “I know I’ve said this a hundred times, but … it isn’t your fault.”

Her heart stung.

Yeah. Sure.

It wasn’t her fault.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It was just my car’s fault.”

“Marcel wouldn’t want you beating yourself up over this.”

At the sound of his name, she practically felt her heart crack, just like the glass of her windshield had that day.

“Marcel’s dead,” she said flatly. “So he isn’t exactly around to tell me how to cope with his death, okay? And his brother feels very differently.”

“Porco’s just grieving,” said Reiner gently. “He isn’t exactly seeing sense.”

Annie doubted that. A month wasn’t exactly a very long time to get over your brother dying, so it was hard to judge – but she’d known him long enough to guess that this grudge could and would last a lifetime. Not that she blamed him for it. She knew she deserved it.

Reiner sighed again when she didn’t say anything. “Look, Annie. I know it’s easier said than done, but … don’t punish yourself over this.”

He didn’t bother telling her that Marcel wouldn’t want her to do that this time. He’d clearly learned his lesson very quickly.

After a long pause, she said, “I’m surviving. Can that be enough for now?”

“If you haven’t shrivelled in on yourself again.”

Annie felt a spark of anger in her chest, but she made sure to keep it out of her voice. “I haven’t. I’m still going to work, aren’t I?”

“That doesn’t count,” he said. “You need that to pay rent.”

Annie thought it counted for something. If she really wanted to give up, she would just curl up in bed and slowly waste away. Or even worse – she’d move back in with her dad.

“I went to the gym with Mikasa the other day,” she said pointedly. “And I’m seeing Armin tomorrow.”

His voice lightened. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” she said. “So I can’t sit around crying with you all day. I’m helping him move his things in.”

“Oh, right. You mentioned he was moving a while ago.”

Annie didn’t say anything and just listened to him let out a heavy breath down the line.

“Well,” he said finally. “That’s good.” Then, tentatively, he added, “Is that all?”

“I think we’re watching a movie,” she said.

“Oh, so, actually hanging out,” he said. “That’s really good.”

Annie scoffed. “You act like I’m your anxiety patient, you know.”

“Well, I am the closest you’ll go to a therapist,” he said pointedly.

“You can talk,” she said.

Reiner’s way of coping with the accident had been moving back in with his mother. Annie remembered Karina being a total ass when they were younger – nearly as bad as her father – but when Reiner went away to college, she seemed to sweeten up a bit. The same couldn’t be said for her own father, but she hadn’t expected him to change at all. But since the incident, she had only seemed to coddle Reiner even more.

Annie’s dad called once. Not that she was complaining.

“True,” he said. “Sorry. I just don’t get to see you a lot now, so I like hearing that you’re keeping busy.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but in the end, she managed to convince herself to close it. There was no point in bickering with Reiner over any of this, as much as she wanted to. She’d probably just have to make up for it by drinking an extra glass of wine later, which she couldn’t really afford – the worst thing she’d discovered about nearly being thirty was how hard hangovers hit her. And she’d already promised Armin she would help.

“I’ll be really busy tomorrow,” she said. “And since Armin’s moved to this side of the city, I’ll probably see him more. He’s a pretty good distraction.”

Reiner snorted. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

Where Annie found a lot of what Armin said to be quite interesting, Reiner thought he talked too much. She tried her best to not point out the issue that it wasn’t that Armin talked too much – it’s that he talked about things Reiner didn’t quite understand.

“So don’t worry,” she said. “You can check in whenever, but I promise – I’m okay.”

Well, she thought. As okay as I can be.

She made sure those words didn’t slip past her lips to Reiner. It was likely something he already knew, but she was sure if she said it out loud, he would be on her doorstep within an hour.

“Okay,” said Reiner finally. “I’ll stop bothering you. And I won’t send Hitch to bother you, either.”

Annie snorted. Hitch lived in the apartment opposite hers – she wouldn’t go so far as to say they were friends, but they were at least friendly. She was a little too bubbly, although Annie wasn’t sure if she just seemed like that now more than ever, given everything that had happened. They’d been neighbours for little over a year, and Hitch had made a habit of dropping in uninvited, more often than anyone she knew. It had a lot to do with the fact that she lived so close, but more to do with the fact that she worked from home. Annie had never asked, and Hitch had never explained. Annie suspected it could have been cam-related, which was also the reason she really didn’t want to ask more.

Not that she was a prude. She just didn’t particularly care to hear about that from her neighbour who she only just liked.

Reiner had been more than aware of her existence for a while, ever since she’d happened to drop in when he was visiting a few months prior. When their contact dwindled in the first week after the accident, he’d managed to find Hitch on social media and send her straight to her door, almost as if he was worried she would hurt herself. Annie couldn’t imagine why Reiner thought that an appearance from Hitch would have willed her to keep on living rather than just keel over and die, but she’d long since stopped questioning him in matters like that.

“I don’t think that would be necessary,” she said. “But thanks. You can call me whenever.”

“Just not today.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Basically.”

In spite of everything, Reiner laughed.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you.”

The call ended with a loud beep and Annie was left alone in the silence of her room.

She sighed. She couldn’t really spend the day moping in her apartment – if she was going to do that, she may as well have let Reiner come over. So, instead, she forced herself out of bed, made herself some breakfast, and got dressed in a loose shirt, sports leggings and her white sneakers. Going to the gym in the morning would definitely be a better way to spend her Saturday than starting her bottle of wine early.

She often went to the gym with Mikasa, but today, she was glad to not see her. She doubted she’d be aware of what the day was, but it was a relief not to have to put on a smiley face for anyone, and she just set to work. When she went to the gym alone, she usually did cardio. It kept her focused enough that it stopped her mind from drifting to things she’d rather not think about. And there were also some things she didn’t like doing alone – it was easier to do weights when Mikasa was around to spot her, so this would have to do.

Annie found herself disappointed to find that it was only the middle of the afternoon when she returned to her far too quiet apartment again. She managed to waste more time by making dinner and doing all of the chores she wanted to finish before the weekend was over, making sure there was always some sort of noise in the background – whether it was her music or the mindless drone of a TV show that she didn’t particularly care to follow. She managed to drag that out until she had to make dinner, and afterwards, she started to draw herself a bath and poured her first glass of red wine.

The drone of the running water was almost relaxing as she finally peeled off her gym clothes and left them in a heap on the too-blue bathroom floor. The bubble bath foamed in the water, the smell of lavender easing her bones, and she thought for a moment that she should be careful not to doze off in that comfortable heat. She set her phone to play some background noise, soft guitar music, as she poured her second glass of wine and grabbed the trashy romance book she’d been working her way through since last weekend.

She sighed once she slid into the water and took a moment to let her eyes flutter shut. Maybe Reiner had every right to be worried, but in moments like this, it was easy to pretend that everything was fine.

Once she managed to open her eyes again, she reached for her glass of wine and took a large gulp before settling it down and reaching for her book. It was a lot more enjoyable when she was a little bit tipsy, anyway.

It wasn’t like it was boring, but she couldn’t claim it was well-written. She knew Armin would tease her for reading it – it wasn’t like he was averse to more explicit books, but he was a bit of a snob when it came to writing styles. If she let it slip tomorrow that this was the sort of thing she was reading in her spare time, he would tease her relentlessly.

It only took a few more pages of building tension for the characters to start fucking again.

It was probably a bit too raunchy for Armin’s tastes.

The thought alone made her laugh.

The scene went on long enough that it made heat rush down south. For a moment, she bit her lip, trying to ignore the feeling. But the scene didn’t seem to be in any rush to end and she fidgeted, letting her free hand trail down to rest on her thigh in the water. She bit down on the inside of her lip and eventually decided to relent and close the book.

Well, even if she’d gotten more depressed, at least she hadn’t lost her libido.

Her fingers trailed into her folds, and she let her eyes fall shut as she began circling her clit in slow motions. It only took her a few moments to pick up her speed and bite down on the inside of her lip to keep quiet. She’d always been far too vocal – and at this age, it was just a little bit too embarrassing for her to be moaning while touching herself.

It helped that she was tipsy enough that she could try to picture her hand as someone else’s. Strong, practised hands, pushing her gently to her pleasure. She imagined her other hand, the one moving up her body, as someone else’s, and nearly trembled as she grazed her hard nipple, keeping a steady rhythm on her clit. It had been too long since someone else had touched her like this, and she found that she missed it more than she first thought. But maybe that was the wine talking.

But just as she grew nearer her climax, the music stopped, replaced by that same incessant rumbling that had woke her up that morning.

She groaned in frustration and dropped her hands, reaching for a towel to wipe them clean and reached for her phone.

“Hello?” she said.

“Hey.”

Something in her abdomen fluttered, and she was glad that she was drunk enough to not think about it too much.

“Hey, Armin,” she said. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I just wanted to call since I haven’t talked to you all day.”

Annie’s other hand settled on her thigh. “It’s fine. Have you gotten in okay?”

“Well, yeah. Most of my furniture’s here. The moving van will be back tomorrow with the rest of my stuff.”

It struck her in that moment how nice his voice was. Had it always been so nice? Of course it had. She was just drunk, turned on, and certainly not thinking clearly.

“By the way,” he said, pulling her away from her thoughts. “Are you sure you’re still fine with helping me tomorrow?”

“Of course I am,” she said. “What else am I gonna do on a Sunday?”

He laughed slightly. “Yeah. Fair point.”

And that laugh of his … that must have always been nice, too. Nothing like hers – she often snorted or chortled or practically choked on her laughter. She’d never laughed in a way that anyone could find charming.

But she could practically feel his demeanour change on the other side of the phone. “You don’t have to, you know. I know this is a tough time right now, and I –”

“Armin,” she interrupted. “I’m better when I’m busy, okay? I’d really rather help you move the rest of your shit in than do nothing.”

He was quiet for a second. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”

She sighed. “It’s fine. I already got the pity party from Reiner earlier today. I don’t need it from you, too.”

Armin’s voice was soft – far too soft. “I don’t pity you. I just don’t want to push you when I don’t know what you’re feeling. You’re not exactly an open book, you know.”

Annie snorted. “Yeah … I guess not.”

There was a slight pause. Then, he said, “Honestly, I’m really glad you agreed to help. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Annie hummed. It felt like forever to her, too. His voice had been on the phone, maybe more often than it should have been, but she’d declined any invitations to visit him or for him to drop by since the thirteenth. Now that he’d just moved so close, she couldn’t exactly avoid him. But she didn’t really want to.

His voice was warm. “I’ve missed you.”

Her breath caught. “You’ve missed me?”

“Yeah,” he said with a slight breathy laugh. “I like hanging out with you, you know.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Why?”

“You’ll be surprised to know that you’re fun to be around.”

Annie snorted. “Now, that’s a lie.”

His voice was light with laughter. “Well, I think you’re fun to be around.”

She paused for a long time. “Armin, are you drunk?”

He laughed. “I have to be drunk to enjoy your company?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod that he couldn’t see. “I’m like a walking raincloud.”

“Well,” he said lightly. “I like the rain.”

Annie’s breath caught in a way she desperately hoped he didn’t catch on the other end of the phone.

He cleared his throat. “Well, it’s late. I probably interrupted you.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m in the bath.”

“Oh,” he said – and there was something in his voice that she was too tipsy to pinpoint. “Oh, well, I’m sorry for interrupting you.”

“It’s fine,” said Annie. “You were more entertaining than the book I was reading.”

There was laughter in his voice. “You aren’t still reading those bad eroticas, are you?”

“They’re not eroticas,” she said pointedly. “They’re romance books.”

“What, with a sex scene every chapter?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

He laughed. “You need to read better stuff, Annie.”

She snorted. “Sorry. I forgot you’re such a prude.”

“A prude?” he said with a laugh. “I am not. You could read well-written erotica, and I wouldn’t have anything to say.”

“Uh-huh,” she said. “I’m sure.”

She could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m not going to sit here and convince you otherwise, so I’ll just let you get back to your fine literature.”

She scoffed. “Why, thank you. It was just getting heated.”

“Well, have fun,” he said deliberately.

“Don’t worry. I will.”

His laughter was light. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Annie. You have the address, right?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“See you.”

As soon as his voice was gone, she filled the silence with that soothing guitar music she had been playing before and relaxed into the bath.

She was glad she was tipsy now, otherwise she would have felt a little dirty finishing herself off right after she’d talked to him. But Annie was rarely one to not finish what she had started, especially with these sorts of matters. She tried to push back the memory of how soft his voice had sounded on the phone as she brought herself to her finish, and she was just very glad that the wine had clouded out the fact that it was his hands she’d been thinking of.

By the time she found herself ringing his apartment the next morning, the rest of the bottle of red had wiped all memory of it – enough that she managed to look him in the eye with ease.

“Hey,” he said with a slight smile.

It was strange seeing him in person after over a month. He wasn’t wearing one of his cardigans that he usually rotated – if she remembered, his favourite was a light brown one that looked like it had been hand-knitted by the local grandma community. Now, he was just wearing straight-leg jeans, sneakers, and a comfortable white T-shirt. That she remembered; he had a habit of wearing clothes that hid a lot of his form – and she only knew about that form because of the one and only time they’d gone on a beach trip together.

And then, there were those stupid glasses of his. They were the most college-professor-y glasses she’d ever seen. Whenever she said that to him, he usually just laughed and reminded her that he was a college professor; they were ovals with silver rims, and they brought far too much attention to his pretty eyes.

“Hey,” she said, shoving her hands in the pockets of her hoody. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said, stepping aside. “The moving van should be here any minute now.”

Annie stepped in and glanced around. It was pretty bare, apart from the furniture he’d clearly arranged the day before. It was a little on the small side, but in a cosy way, with warm, orange walls and big, open windows. The kitchen was tiny, with a little round table he’d set up and the section that was the living room – not separated by a wall or anything from the kitchen – was snug, with a warm, brown couch and a few cosy chairs facing a TV.

“It’s nice,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I talked to some of my new neighbours yesterday and apparently the landlord’s pretty friendly, so that’s always a plus.”

She snorted. “That’s rare.”

He let out a huff of laughter. “Yeah, I know. Guess I’ve gotten lucky.”

Annie hummed. “I’m really glad you picked a place with an elevator, too.”

Armin was smiling when she turned back to face him. “Yeah, I thought you’d say that.”

She frowned. “Obviously. You live on the tenth floor.”

“Yeah,” he said. “It was hell getting the furniture up here. Thank God the movers did most of it.”

“Glad I wasn’t here to do it,” she said.

Armin smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but they were interrupted by the shrill ringing of his phone. Of course he wouldn’t have his phone on silent. That was such a college-professor thing to do.

It took her about three seconds to realise it was the moving van outside, and it only took him an extra five to end the phone call and turn to her with that warm smile of his. Only he could still have such a pleasant look on his face before they started lugging up boxes up to the tenth floor.

Thank fuck for the elevator.

After they had moved everything upstairs, Annie decided that the worst thing about Armin was how many books he owned. She knew he had a lot, but knowing he owned hundreds of books and literally carrying them were two very different things. It didn’t help that most of them were probably hardcovers – she cursed his love for special editions every time she picked up a stupid box. She also berated herself since she knew that she had definitely bought him some for his birthdays.

She was more than relieved when she saw that the moving van was finally empty, with only a few more boxes to carry up to his apartment. They miraculously managed it in one go – but Armin was stronger than he looked. It was those stupid shirts of his.

He let out a breath when he placed the final box down in the middle of his apartment. “Finally.”

Annie snorted. “Yeah. You’re telling me.”

He looked over at her and smiled apologetically. “Sorry. You’ve been a big help.”

“I know,” she said. “But there’s still more to go.”

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

His shirt rode up, revealing a small flash of skin above his jeans that her eyes were instantly drawn to. Dark blonde hairs trailed down to the waistline of his pants and made her mouth go dry.

His voice snapped her out of whatever the hell she was doing. “We could start with the kitchen stuff, maybe?”

Annie’s eyes shot up to his face. He wasn’t looking at her, but at the boxes, his thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Thank fuck he hadn’t caught her staring. Why the hell was she staring, anyway?

She cleared her throat. “It’s whatever. I can start on the kitchen stuff since I can probably figure out where to put everything.” Then, she added, more confidently, “But I’m not unloading all your books.”

He glanced over at her and smiled. “Yeah, I can do that. Uh … I’ll get most of the stuff for my bedroom first. It’ll just be clothes.”

She nodded. “Cool.”

Armin moved most of his boxes into the correct rooms while Annie got to work on his kitchen stuff. She knew he was good at cooking, but she hadn’t expected him to own so much shit for someone who lived alone. Maybe he had some big plans to host dinner parties – was that the sort of things college professors did? Probably. She wondered if she’d be invited or if she wouldn’t be preppy enough for that crowd. Then again, it didn’t particularly seem like a crowd Armin was all that interested in.

She was still going through the kitchen boxes when she heard him move into his study to sort through his things in there. A ‘study’ – the tiny room that was meant to be a second bedroom that he converted for his work. Annie thought it would be lucky if he’d be able to fit all of his books in there.

With a sigh, she bent down to pick up one of the last few boxes meant for the kitchen but paused when something caught her eye. She pulled back the other boxes to reveal a huge, rectangular box labelled BEDROOM. Her eyebrows furrowed. That was one of the first boxes he’d pulled up here – he must have forgotten about it.

She snorted to herself. He was probably too focused on unpacking his precious books to remember whatever this was.

Annie bent down and hefted it into her arms. It was heavy – heavier than any of the boxes of books she’d carried. No wonder he’d picked this one up first; she would have never stopped complaining about this.

When she moved down the tiny hallway that led to the bedroom on one side, and the study and the bathroom on the other, she found the study door firmly closed. The only thing to indicate that there was any life in there was the shuffling of hefty books and the rustle of cardboard.

She rolled her eyes, pushed open the bedroom door, which he’d left ajar, and dropped the box on the floor. Then, gently, she closed the door behind her.

He had clearly forgotten about this box. He’d unpacked everything he had brought into this room, the cardboard boxes flattened and folded neatly beside one of his nightstands. She glanced around and couldn’t contain the huff of laughter she let out when she took in his room.

The walls were a deep, dark green, already dotted with sketch-like art in warm, fancy frames. His furniture was all black, solid wood, even the wardrobe facing his bed beside the long, standing mirror framed in faded gold. He must have found that thing at a flea market or something.

And then there was the bed, in the centre of the room. The sheets were a deep, dark green, with white and black cushions dotted over them, and the actual bedframe was made of solid, curling black metal – sturdy and gothic. In front of it lay the lightest thing in the room – a light brown rectangular rug with a twisting pattern of lines across it that she didn’t particularly care for.

She definitely wasn’t going to let him live this new design down. But at the same time, it was far too him. And she could only tease him so much – her apartment was a mess in comparison. Although it had been so long since Armin had last seen it, she doubted he would have much to say about it. She wondered, briefly, if he would even dare to say anything about it now.

She shook her head and turned her attention to the box at her feet. She might as well empty it to save him some time.

She had to grab some scissors from the kitchen, gently pushing the door shut behind her before she knelt down in front of the large box. He’d firmly taped it up and when she finally got inside, she realised why – in side was a large, dark green ottoman, covered in velvet and feather-soft to the touch. He probably didn’t want the fabric to tear in the van.

It was a bit of a struggle to lift it out, but she pressed it up against the end of his bed and moved to collapse the other box. But her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of it. What the hell did he have in there?

She thought, for a moment, that maybe it was brand new. Maybe there wasn’t anything in it yet that was meant to be in it. Knowing Armin, it was probably filled with even more books that he’d just shoved inside to save space. But no – it was heavy, but it wasn’t that heavy.

In the end, it was her curiosity that won out. It wasn’t like he would be hiding anything illegal in there – that just wasn’t Armin at all. Plus, he had asked her to help move his stuff in. He hadn’t explicitly stated that she couldn’t help empty the boxes for his bedroom.

So she kneeled before the velvet box and gripped the golden latch – purely for aesthetics with no real semblance of a lock in sight – and shoved it upwards, leaving the lid to fold against the solid metal of his bedframe.

Her eyebrows furrowed when she looked into the box. It clearly wasn’t something that needed to be unpacked. Her eyes were immediately drawn to what appeared to be an eye mask resting far too neatly at the top – but then her eyes slowly drifted further.

Her eyes widened.

She caught sight of chains, something that looked awfully like some sort of paddle, and – was that a fucking flogger? Then she realised that that thing she saw was not an eye mask at all.

It was a blindfold.

The longer she looked, the worse it got. She wasn’t even sure what half of the stuff was – but it wasn’t hard to deduce what the hell she was looking at from the stuff she did recognise.

Her stomach dropped when she heard the door creak open.

“Annie? What are you –”

Armin’s voice fell silent as Annie scrambled to pull the lid down.

“Nothing!” she said.

When she turned to look at Armin, his face was red. For a moment, she thought he was angry – but after a few more agonising heartbeats, she realised he was blushing.

Armin’s voice was weak when he spoke. “That’s … not something that needs … unpacking.”

Annie looked at him for a moment. He was very much struggling to meet her eye. She couldn’t particularly blame him – she was surprised she was even trying to meet his.

“Yeah,” she said. “I figured that out too late. Sorry.”

Armin was still dreadfully quiet.

She cleared her throat and rose to her feet. “So … are you seeing someone, then?”

His eyes finally flickered over to hers, slightly wide. But he shook his head.

“No,” he said. “I’m – I’m not seeing anyone. Right now.”

“Okay,” she said, swallowing. “So are they for … when you … start seeing someone?”

His eyebrows furrowed, but his face was still bright red. “You’re looking at me like I’m a freak. I’m really … it’s not –”

“It’s fine,” she cut him off. “Uh … I just wasn’t expecting you’d be … into that stuff. You just seem so …”

“Prudish?” he offered.

She hadn’t wanted to say it, not in that moment, but maybe that was what it was. She knew Armin was attractive – she had even talked to him about some of his partners before – but she had taken him as a very … vanilla sort of guy. Maybe even a sex-with-the-lights-off sort of guy. But this was …

“Sorry,” she said finally. “I wasn’t meaning to pry.”

“It’s – it’s fine,” he said.

Then, after a long pause, her curiosity got the best of her again. “So you get off on being hurt, then?”

His eyebrows raised and he glanced away. “Well, no … it’s … sort of … the other way around.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Okay,” she said, far too weakly. “Well … good for you … I guess.”

“It’s really not as bad as it sounds,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. “It’s just – I don’t do stuff like that unless the other person is into it. I’d never make someone do that stuff. I …”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” she said, waving him off. “Everyone has their kinks. You have a bondage box! What’s wrong with that?”

Armin winced. “Please never call it that.”

“What would you prefer?” she asked. “Just your general sex toy collection? With the amount you have, you could probably open a museum –”

“Annie,” he groaned, raising his hands to cover his face. The movement pushed his glasses up.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m trying to make this … less awkward.”

He sighed and dropped his hands. His cheeks were still pink as a rosebud, but he managed a weak smile. “You’re making it worse.”

She let out a huff of laughter. “Yeah, I was starting to get that impression.”

He smiled again, a bit softer this time. “Let’s just … open a bottle of wine.”

Her eyebrows raised. “Already?”

His gaze was pointed. “Like you’d say no to a glass of wine right now.”

Annie had to admit that he was right.

“Fine,” she said. “Let’s finish packing and get drunk. And I promise – I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.”

He nodded. “Thanks. And I can order us some pizza if you want?”

“God, yes,” she said. “Where’s your wine?”

His smile was more relaxed this time. The colour in his cheeks was starting to fade. “I grabbed some bottles earlier before you showed up. I think they’re beside the TV.”

She nodded. “Well, I unpacked your glasses. They’re in one of the top cabinets.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll pour us both huge glasses of wine.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Memory-loss level of a glass?”

He laughed slightly. “Oh, definitely.”

Annie smiled as he slipped out of the room and she nearly fell into step behind him. But as she reached the door, she couldn’t help but glance at that innocent-looking ottoman perched at the foot of his bed.

She would definitely need more than one glass of wine to forget about that.

Chapter Text

Somehow, getting out of bed had gotten easier since she had helped Armin move into his new place.

It helped that getting to sleep seemed to be easier. Not a single nightmare haunted her slumber, although she expected to see them again soon enough. They were as constant as breathing, so this blip would certainly only last a few more days, at most.

In truth, it wasn’t that she was suddenly moving on – it was that she was distracted.

As much as she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about that stupid green box.

After she and Armin had finished a glass of wine each, the topic of what she had discovered in his room had all but vanished. It helped that Armin was a bit of a lightweight and became all smiles and laughter after a drink or two – his face was red from the wine then rather than embarrassment. And for a time, she had even managed to ignore its presence.

But when she woke in her own apartment the next morning for work, she couldn’t quite get it out of her head.

And days later, it was all but the same.

She could only keep thoughts about that box at bay when she was teaching her classes at work. Then again, teaching self-defence took a decent amount of focus – but when her classes ended and she had a break, she almost wished she hadn’t had time to stop, even if she needed it.

It had been three days since, and now she was sitting in the café near the reception on her break, chewing some bland sandwich as her eyebrows furrowed in thought. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that those things belonged to Armin: sweet, kind Armin, one of her closest friends – sweet Armin, who seemed to have a kink for dominating his partners. It was the last thing she expected from a man who wore cardigans like that.

“Who are you thinking about?”

Annie nearly jumped out of her skin. She frowned when she turned to see Pieck’s smirking face looking down on her.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” she asked.

Pieck pulled up a chair. “Receptionists get breaks, too, you know.”

It was true, but Annie was starting to question why they always seemed to align with hers. Well, it definitely couldn’t be a coincidence. She didn’t exactly keep herself very well hidden from Pieck’s prying gaze when the reception desk wasn’t that far from the café.

Pieck leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. “Anyway, are you gonna answer my question? You’ve been really distracted lately.”

“I’m still grieving,” she said bluntly.

“I know,” said Pieck. “But you were grieving last week, and you weren’t zoning out this much.”

Pieck was far too perceptive. Really, she should have made more of an effort to avoid her this week. She wasn’t sure if she was quite ready to explain who she was thinking about and exactly why she was thinking about him.

“It’s nothing,” said Annie, glancing down.

“Are you sure?” asked Pieck lightly.

Annie nodded. “I’m certain.”

But she could still feel Pieck’s eyes boring into her as she finished her sandwich. For a minute, she debated getting up and leaving. But no, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t really afford to be on bad terms with Pieck, considering she was the only one at work who was particularly interested in having a friendly conversation with her – and not to mention how strained things were with Porco.

After a long silence, Pieck tilted her head and asked, “How’d helping your friend move go?”

Annie couldn’t help the way her eyes flickered over the Pieck’s in a pointed way; it was a knee-jerk reaction, almost as if she was frustrated that Pieck had figured it out.

But Pieck clearly hadn’t figured it out, not until she looked at her like that.

Pieck smirked. “Did something happen?”

Annie closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe she should just spit it out. It was clearly bothering her. Days had gone by, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

There was no way she could tell Reiner. He knew Armin; there was a good chance he’d actually see him again, and she knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his big mouth closed. It was the same with Mikasa – and talking to Armin about it right now was absolutely off-limits.

So, after a pause, she said, “I don’t really think the café’s the place to talk about it.”

Pieck’s eyebrows raised. “Is it that bad?”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “No … but also yeah.”

“Please say more,” said Pieck.

Annie’s gaze was pointed. “Don’t say a word to anyone else.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Annie sighed again and dropped her eyes to the table. “Well … when I was helping him unpack … I found this box and …”

“Yes?” asked Pieck.

Annie lowered her voice. “It was this … like long and deep ottoman – and I mean huge … and it was just … filled with … pretty …” She cleared her throat. “Kinky sex toys.”

“Oh,” said Pieck – and she sounded almost slightly disappointed. “I mean – how bad?”

“Bad enough that I didn’t recognise half of them,” she said. “And he sort of … walked in when I found them.”

Pieck’s eyes widened. “Okay, now that’s awkward.”

“Yeah,” said Annie with a sigh. “It really was.”

Pieck looked at her for a few moments, eyebrows pulling together in a questioning sort of way. “What did he say?”

“Well … he just … tried to explain himself,” said Annie. “Apparently, he’s into hurting people. Like … in a consensual, sexy way, but … I don’t know. It’s just … it’s so not Armin.”

Pieck’s eyes furrowed. “Yeah, with a name like that, you’d think he was into being hurt.”

Annie frowned. “Pieck.”

“Sorry,” said Pieck lightly. Then, she added, “Has this really been bothering you all week?”

Annie didn’t particularly like that tone in Pieck’s voice – it suggested that this shouldn’t be something that bothered her so much. And Annie knew it shouldn’t. But Pieck didn’t know Armin; he was the sweetest guy she’d ever met. She wouldn’t have thought in a million years that he would be into stuff like that, and that discovery was really irking her.

“It’s just … shocking,” said Annie. “It’s freaking me out. I don’t know why. I just … really didn’t expect it from him.”

Pieck raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re freaked out? Or are you just curious?”

Annie scowled. “I’m not curious.”

“Are you sure?” asked Pieck. “Have you ever done that stuff before?”

“Well, no,” said Annie. “But no one’s ever asked me to do it.”

Pieck smiled. “Would you do it if Armin asked?”

Annie felt fire burn in her chest. “Pieck. Stop it.”

“Sorry, Annie,” she said lightly.

Annie let out a deep breath and stared at the crumbs she’d left on the white table. The tiny specks of brown from her bread were like specks of paint on a blank canvas. Focusing on them for a few seconds was enough to stop her from completely losing her temper with Pieck.

“I just don’t get why anyone would want to be hurt,” she admitted. “How can anyone even be into that?”

Her eyes trailed back up to Pieck just as she shrugged. “I guess some people just get off on being punished.”

Annie’s eyebrows drew together. “Maybe.”

Pieck sighed. “It might just be a dominant partner thing. I guess it isn’t so farfetched to get why someone would like to be dominated – it’s a pretty animalistic thing.”

Annie’s nose shrivelled.

Pieck smiled. “Personally, I’d say don’t knock it ’til you try it. I think it could take one question from the right person to make you change your mind.”

Annie frowned. “I’m not changing my mind.”

“I meant in general,” said Pieck pointedly. Then, she smiled again. “But it sounds a little like you’re considering it.”

“I’m really not,” said Annie flatly.

“If you say so,” said Pieck. Then, her smile faded, and her voice softened with it. “Oh, and by the way – I meant to say. Porco wants to talk to you.”

And just like that, any light atmosphere that had been at the table evaporated, replaced by the usual storm that seemed to surround her. Her heart seemed to sink all the way into the floor beneath her.

“About what?” asked Annie tentatively.

Pieck shrugged. “Something about some photographs. He said he’d text you.” Then, she added, “I promise it isn’t anything bad.”

Annie nodded, but she sincerely doubted that. Porco hated her. Not that she could blame him for that.

She rose to her feet. “I’ll make sure to check my phone. I’ve got another class in five, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Pieck nodded and smiled. “See you.”

By the time her classes for the day were over, and she was left alone with nothing but her thoughts, Annie found that she missed worrying about that stupid box. Now, her phone in her pocket felt like an anchor weighing each of her footsteps down as she made her way back to her apartment. She was glad to discard it on her kitchen table, but she was all too aware that it was still there – like a ghost haunting her home.

But she knew she couldn’t just sit around and wait for a message she dreaded, so she got on with her usual evening routine. She cleaned, made herself something to eat, and showered before taking it easy for the night. She wanted to keep reading that stupid romance book of hers, but when she settled down in her bed, her laptop balanced on the nightstand, playing soft guitar music, an unwanted thought started nagging at her. It poked and prodded until she folded her book closed without getting even a page further and opened an incognito tab on her browser.

She wished she’d poured herself a glass of wine before she started reading about BDSM on Wikipedia, but it was too late for that now.

Her eyebrows furrowed – well, it clearly wasn’t all about pain, but that seemed to be the part that Armin was interested in. Or maybe it was just the dominance thing; she could imagine how slight pain could work its way into that. And at least, there was an example she could understand: spanking. That was pretty vanilla, though, wasn’t it? But then she took a minute to think about it – well, maybe if it was just a spank or two during sex, but a full spanking thing was probably a bit more out there.

The main Wikipedia page turned out to be rather intimidating, and she ended up on the Glossary of BDSM page. She scrolled down and hovered over the terms until images appeared, and she scowled. The first few were … something. The first thing she found that wasn’t completely terrifying to her turned out to be breast bondage – she could kind of get the appeal of that. Although, considering that it was followed by breast torture on the list, it didn’t exactly make her excited about it – and she was very hesitant to hover over the image of that one.

She sighed and pushed the lid of her laptop closed. Maybe this wasn’t the place to look. Hadn’t she found a blindfold in his little toy box? Maybe she just wasn’t reading very closely, but nothing about that seemed to be coming up at all. Or was it that blindfolding a person wasn’t considered kinky enough to fall under that umbrella – but surely that was. And the more she sat and thought about it, the more she started to understand the appeal of something like that – at least, in theory.

But she was startled out of her thoughts by the loud vibrating of her phone. It stopped after a second, and her heart settled.

She stretched over to grab her phone, and her heart sank.

Porco Galliard

Are you free tomorrow night?

I’ve got something to give you if you want to meet at Liberio Diner

At 6

?

Annie’s fingers hovered over her keyboard for far too long. She knew they were trembling; fuck, she was pathetic. Finally, she replied.

Me

Yeah, sure

Sounds good to me

She put her phone back down on her nightstand and sighed into her hands. After that, she couldn’t really say she was particularly in the mood to search more about BDSM. But she did consider searching for more about blindfolding when she had a spare moment some other night.

The next day, Annie was relieved to find that Pieck brought up no mention of Armin or Porco in her break, which was more than a relief. Of course, she would know that she was meeting Porco tonight; he would have told her. Pieck knew better than to push her on a day like today, and Annie was glad for it.

The absence of teasing still didn’t make the day much easier. By the time she was standing outside of Liberio’s Diner that evening, her heart was practically pounding out of her chest. She forced herself to take a deep breath before she pushed open the door – and caught sight of Porco immediately.

He always wore that ugly green bomber jacket, and his hair was slicked back, just like it had been at the funeral. And she was disappointed to know that he still wore that constant scowl of his, the one that had only seemed to deepen after his brother died.

His gaze was just as hard as it fell on her from across the diner. He glanced away again, and somehow, she managed to find the nerve to approach him.

“Hey,” she managed.

“Hey,” he said.

The booth was suffocating. From the voices all around, she knew they weren’t alone – but the small space of the booth made it seem like they were the only ones in the world.

Annie had a million things she knew she should say, but her tongue was nothing more than a useless weight in her mouth. Apologising wasn’t quite right – but how could she talk to him without apologising?

But Porco ended her dilemma by speaking first.

He cleared his throat. “There’s something I wanted you to have.”

He reached beside him on the seat into a bag and pulled out a thick, black photo album. Her stomach sank when he pushed it across the table.

“It was Marcel’s,” he explained. “It’s just pictures of you two and Reiner and Bertholdt. I figure you three might want it.”

Annie pulled the photo album towards her, but she didn’t dare open it. She doubted that would be a very smart move under Porco’s harsh gaze – she wasn’t even sure if she would be able to look at it on her own, anyway.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Porco just shrugged. “I figured you could copy the photos if you wanted – so the three of you could have all of them.”

Annie nodded. “Yeah. I’ll – talk to Reiner.”

Porco hummed.

Annie peeked at him from beneath her lashes. He wasn’t looking at her now – he was gazing out of the window as he sipped at his coffee, which she was sure must have gone cold by now.

“Porco?” she asked.

His eyes flicked to hers as hard as ever. She had never been the kind of person to wither beneath someone’s gaze – but that had been before Marcel died. Now, the eyes of his brother, angry and hollow, could probably kill her if he tried hard enough.

She swallowed. “Why didn’t you just get Pieck to give me this?”

He looked at her for a moment before he shrugged. “It’s not fair to involve her in all of this. It’s bad enough that she’s between the two of us. I don’t want to make it any worse.”

Annie was quiet. Of course. It wasn’t an act of good grace – not that she thought she deserved that, anyway. Apart from Marcel, she was sure Pieck was the only person he cared about on this planet. It should have been obvious that that was the reason he hadn’t asked her. Pieck’s warning about his message wouldn’t have been from him – that would have been something she had told her on her own.

She managed to look at him again. His eyes never used to look so hollow. She wondered if hers looked different now, too. But grief and guilt probably looked very different.

“Porco,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t change anything –”

“Don’t bother.”

The rest of her words froze in her throat.

His tone was harsh and bruising, like a punch straight in the stomach. Hearing it felt a little like that, too.

“I’m not going to accept any apology you give me. I’m sorry, but it just won’t happen,” he said, leaning back in his seat.

She hated the way the leather squeaked beneath his movements. It was as shrill as a siren and twice as nauseating.

Porco sighed. “I know it isn’t really your fault. But there’s nothing you can say that’ll bring him back.”

Annie’s eyes fell down to the table. She could hear her blood pounding in her ears and swallowed.

“I know it doesn’t change anything,” she said. “But I just thought that you at least deserve an apology.”

“I don’t deserve an apology,” said Porco quietly. “I deserve a brother who isn’t dead.”

When she managed to meet his eyes, his scowl had deepened. It sent a stab of fear straight through her – there was a dark kind of anger spread over his face, one she hadn’t quite seen before. It kept her frozen in place.

“And don’t act like you’re apologising for me. It’s for you,” he said. “And I’m not going to sit here and offer you any sort of judgement to clear your conscience or any sort of fucked up punishment to make you feel better. I’m not.”

Before she could even begin thinking of something to say, he snatched the bag on the seat beside him and slid out of the booth. His face was still just as terrifying when he shrugged it over his shoulder and met her gaze.

“And to be honest, the only reason I’m giving you that thing is because you’re in most of those pictures, and these days I just … I can barely stand to look at you,” he said.

He stood there for a moment, clearly waiting for some sort of response – but nothing came.

He readjusted the bag on his shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

And then, just like that, he was gone.

Annie sat there staring at the harsh mint green of the table beneath her fingers, maybe for far too long before she eventually found the will to stand up again. She grabbed the photo album and hugged it to her chest before beginning her short walk home.

When she pressed open her front door and dropped the photo album on her kitchen table, she found that she barely even remembered the journey to get there. She didn’t even think to put on any music to drown her thoughts out – it was too late for that. Instead, she stripped in her living room and made her way to the far too-white bathroom before twisting the shower on. When she stepped in, the water was burning hot, uncomfortable in a way she craved some sort of relief, and in that fall of water, she let her sobs loose.

She cried more than she would admit, but it was a lot easier to act like it was a rare occurrence when the hot water washed all traces of her tears away down the drain. The rush of its spray helped cover up the sound, too, but it wasn’t like there was ever anyone in her apartment to hear it. As always, she was alone.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, letting the water burn into her skin, but by the time she got out, her tears had run dry, and her hands and feet had pruned. She barely even managed to convince herself to dry off before she climbed into bed – her wet hair fanned across the pillow as her heavy lids fell shut.

The only good thing about it was that she’d been so exhausted that no nightmares came to her that night, either. The next thing she heard was the ugly thrumming of her alarm, which she slammed off as soon as she had the strength to.

She made a conscious effort to avoid Pieck at work. It would be no secret as to why she was doing it; Pieck was no fool, and Annie certainly wouldn’t even be able to attempt to pull the wool over her eyes. Usually, she’d be worried about hurting her feelings, but she knew she’d understand. She would have the nerve to face her again on Monday, but now, she just wasn’t up to it.

When she returned back to her far too quiet home and managed to put some music on to fill the suffocating silence, she managed to bask in the relief that she didn’t have to hide anymore. The relief was slight, but it was enough that she didn’t quite want to crawl into bed and sleep the weekend away.

Instead, she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the shower. There were no tears this time – but what he had said to her about punishment was circling through her mind like the water trickling down the drain at her feet.

Had she really apologised in the hope that he would offer her some sort of punishment? No, that couldn’t be it. She at least thought she was apologising because, well … what else was there to say? His older brother was gone because of a car accident where she was driving – if there was anywhere to start, an apology was probably the best place to do so.

But maybe she hadn’t just been apologising for his sake. Maybe a part of her hoped he would say something that would help her escape that ache in her chest; if he could take her apology or even say much worse, then maybe that feeling would leave her. But he hadn’t given her that at all – she left their conversation only feeling worse. She probably would have felt better if he’d hit her. Actually, she knew she would have.

So maybe she was looking for punishment.

Annie thought of her conversation with Pieck the day before and scoffed to herself. They had been talking about a very different kind of punishment. She wondered if it really even counted as a ‘punishment’ if another person was into it. Of course, things like that had to be consensual – she just thought it was a strange label to put on it.

Naturally, then, her thoughts drifted to Armin. He’d been nagging her conscience all week, but now, thinking of him brought her some respite. She wondered how many people he’d ‘punished’. They’d been friends long enough that she’d ended up meeting one or two of his previous partners – when she thought of them, it nearly made her laugh, the idea of little, cardigan-wearing Armin dominating them. But the laughter sort of disappeared when she remembered that flash of skin she’d caught, the way his golden hairs trailed down below his pants to very forbidden territory.

Her eyes flew open. No. She couldn’t think about Armin like that. It had been a while since she’d gotten laid, but she couldn’t – she shouldn’t be thinking about him in that manner.

She bit the inside of her lip. She had never gotten around to looking up blindfolding. But did she really need to? Wasn’t it just about heightened sensations – eyes covered so touch was more shocking, so the skin was more sensitive to caresses? For a moment, she wondered what it would feel like. And almost against her will, she felt an image flash in her mind – Armin’s soft smirk as he pulled a blindfold down over her eyes.

Annie knew she shouldn’t do what she was thinking of doing. But even as her mind was coming up with a very extensive list of why she shouldn’t be thinking about one of her closest friends like that, her hand was already reaching to pull the showerhead down.

She pressed her other hand flat against the cool, tiled wall and closed her eyes, leaning into the wall as she angled the rigorous spray of water up in between her legs. She bit down hard on the inside of her bottom lip when the water met her clit, massaging it in a toe-curling rhythm, making her whole bottom half tingle. The pressure was delicious and just so right that she could let her mind wander back to him.

She wondered how roughly he could kiss her – if he liked pain, she bet he liked biting. He’d probably trail harsh kisses down her body, leaving hickeys on her neck, her breasts and her inner thighs. Maybe he would bite down on her ear and hard on her bottom lip until she trembled beneath him.

Annie made a tiny noise as pleasure shook through her from the rhythm of the water on her now-swollen clit. She adjusted a little bit and let out a shuddering breath as her thighs nearly trembled from the water’s caresses.

He’d probably like much more than that. She remembered the chains she caught a glimpse of – he’d probably tie her up so she couldn’t do anything but succumb to his sweet assault. Maybe just her wrists, tied together, so she couldn’t grab hold of him like she wanted. Maybe he’d take pride in how desperate she would get for him. Maybe he’d even pull a blindfold over her eyes to make it oh so much worse.

She gasped as she felt her core tighten. Maybe he’d bend her over his knee and spank her hard. He might even taunt her – she was sure he’d enjoy that. He’d probably keep going until she begged him not to stop, and then maybe he would put her down on her hands and knees on his perfect bed and fuck her senseless when all she could do was take it as he pushed her over her edge.

And there it was – the pressure building in her core had reached its peak, and she bit down on her lip, hard, to stop from crying out as her orgasm shuddered through her. She had to grip down hard on the edge of the door of the shower just to stay upright as her whole body trembled and stars flashed over her vision.

By the time she came down from her high, she was surprised to find she was still standing.

Fuck.

That was far too good.

Tentatively, she turned the shower off and returned the showerhead to its usual place. She stepped out of the shower and dried off before changing into fresh clothes.

She only debated picking up her phone for a few moments before she reached for it and dialled Armin’s number.

His voice was warm. “Hey, Annie. What’s up?”

“Hey,” she said. “Are you busy?”

“On a Friday night?” he said. He laughed a little. “No.”

Annie couldn’t help but smile. She’d half-expected him to be busy – but really, his social life seemed to be about as hectic as hers was at the minute.

“Neither am I,” she said. “Want to watch a movie at your place? I can bring wine.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, actually,” he said. “I’m just finishing off these lecture slides, but I should be done by the time you get here.”

Of course he was working on one of his lectures. The wild Friday night of a college professor, so it seemed.

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you, Annie.”

Her name was like a prayer on his lips. Or at least, it sounded that way to her. It probably had something to do with the fact that she just came to the idea of him dominating her a little bit, but that wasn’t the point.

By the time she showed up at his apartment, she couldn’t help the way her heart was racing in her chest. She wasn’t quite sure what she was doing – she wasn’t quite sure what she even thought she was doing. She was hoping she would figure it out after the first glass of wine.

Or the third.

Armin’s smile was as warm as it always was when he opened the door. He was wearing his usual glasses along with dark brown jeans, a white T-shirt and that light brown cardigan that he wore all the time.

“Hey,” he said gently, stepping aside.

“Hey,” she said, pushing a slight smile on her face.

“Busy day?” he asked.

Annie thought about what she had been doing just less than an hour ago and cleared her throat. “Yeah, a little.”

He smiled. “Maybe a glass of wine will be a good thing, then.”

“Or a bottle each,” she said.

His smile widened. “That, too.”

She insisted he pick the movie since she was sure she wouldn’t be particularly able to focus on it. Although, Armin was nothing but a fair man and insisted that she pick where they ate. Annie had barely even considered food until he mentioned it and just ended up picking some Korean place a few blocks over. It showed up only ten minutes into the movie, but about two glasses of wine down for Annie – she was a little relieved he wasn’t looking at how much she was drinking.

In spite of her best efforts, she couldn’t help but steal glances at him throughout the movie. Those cardigans really did him no justice – and maybe the glasses didn’t, either. She was still trying to figure out if they made him look hotter or not, although it was pretty hard to say, considering he rarely ever wore contacts. When she finished her third glass, she wondered if she could ask him to take them off for a moment so she could figure it out.

Armin smiled warmly at her once the credits started rolling on the screen – but Annie had been looking at him for a few moments before that.

“This is nice,” he said finally.

She leaned on her hand and managed a smirk. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m glad I moved over this side of the city. It’s nice … I’ll get to see you more often.”

She smiled. If she hadn’t been so tipsy, she probably would have shied away from what she’d come here to ask. But now, nearly a bottle down, there was no way she was backing down.

“Armin?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we talk about last weekend?” she asked. “About … what I found?”

His eyebrows raised for a second before they settled again, and he averted her gaze. “Uh … I didn’t think there was … a lot to talk about there.”

She let out a slight breath. “Armin, do you think I’m attractive?”

“What?” he asked, eyes flicking back over to her.

He paused for a moment – maybe he was waiting for her to explain herself further, but she never offered him more.

Finally, he said, “Of course I think you’re attractive. I could be blind and still know that you’re beautiful.”

Her breath caught just a little bit.

Thank fuck for the wine.

“You really think I’m that pretty?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “I do.”

She swallowed. “Do you think I’m pretty enough to dominate?”

The way Armin’s eyebrows jumped to his hairline would have been comical under different circumstances. “You … you … uh … what?”

She dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry. It’s just … ever since I found those things, I’ve been … curious about all of that stuff.”

Armin’s voice was hoarse in an unfamiliar way when he spoke. “You have?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m sorry if this is making you uncomfortable. I just … well …”

“Annie,” he said softly. “What is it?”

She held his gaze for a moment before swallowing again and said, “I’m just curious about it all. And you’re my friend, and I trust you … and … I’d like to try those things with someone I trust.” She took a deep breath. “I’d like to try those things with you. If you’d like.”

Armin was quiet for a long while. Then, finally, he said, “You want me to … dominate you?”

She nodded. “Yeah.” Then, she added, “I just … I’m just curious.”

He swallowed. “Annie … we’re … you’re my friend. I just …”

The silence between them was thick and hot, almost like steam, but Annie never once glanced away from him.

After what felt like a lifetime, he said, “Can I think about it?”

Her eyebrows raised slightly, but then her face softened. “Of course you can. Take all the time you need.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

After another pause, she said, “I should get an Uber and head home.”

His eyebrows furrowed, and he nodded. “Yeah, okay. Uh … let me book it for you.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, flashing her his warm smile. “It’s on me.”

It didn’t take that long for the Uber to show up, which turned out to be a massive weight off Annie’s shoulders as the silence that had stayed between them didn’t leave after he booked her Uber. Still, his words were kind, and his smile was soft as he made sure she got into the car safely – they were almost like a caress, and she could practically feel them lingering on her skin long after she’d made it home.

Chapter Text

What.

The fuck.

Was she thinking?

Once the wine had worn off the next morning but hadn’t taken the memories of her actions with it, Annie debated, albeit briefly, whether she should just walk straight out into traffic. That would certainly be less embarrassing than having to see Armin ever again.

She could barely stand to look at herself in the mirror – it had been hard enough before that, anyway; now it was near impossible.

She scowled at herself in the reflection of her bathroom mirror. What had she been thinking?

It was a stupid question, really. She knew exactly what she’d been thinking, at least at the time. She’d thought of it as a win-win for the both of them – she got a new and fun distracting hobby where she got to be punished for an hour-ish every now and then, and he didn’t have to bother trying to find someone new to do that stuff to, and he could also get his rocks off, too. It had been a simple theory.

What she hadn’t considered at all, for some stupid fucking reason, was how Armin would react.

What had she expected him to say, really? Oh yeah, Annie – that sounds great! Give me five minutes, and I’ll get you chained up to my bed! I hope you like breast torture!

Yeah. Right.

He’d been so surprised, and she couldn’t really blame him. Had she been in his position, she would have no idea how to react. She probably would have been a lot meaner than he had been. He’d even had the decency to ask if he could think about it – and like hell would he be thinking about it all. He was obviously just trying to protect her feelings at the moment and was probably spending their days of no contact crafting some elaborate rejection that wouldn’t completely ruin their friendship. As if what she had requested hadn’t done enough damage in the first place.

So the next day, she couldn’t do much except wallow in her apartment, only mildly distracted by her slight hangover, watching some of the worst Netflix shows known to man just to keep her brain busy. Somehow, it worked – but she passed out on the couch and woke up on Sunday morning, no longer hungover, in a far too quiet apartment.

She rose to make herself breakfast but froze when she caught sight of the photo album resting on the kitchen table. Right. She’d never even moved it.

Her heart sank just looking at it.

Porco didn’t give it to her as an act of kindness, anyway. She wondered if he knew how much it would kill her to look inside. Maybe that was part of his motivation. He couldn’t stand to look at those photos – he must have known she couldn’t, either.

Without another thought, she picked up her phone and dialled Reiner’s number.

He picked up on the third ring. “Hey. How are you?”

“Fine,” she said abruptly. “I’ve got something for you.”

His voice rose. “You do?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Porco gave me one of Marcel’s photo albums.”

Reiner paused. “He did? How did that –?”

“It went terribly,” said Annie flatly. “He said he couldn’t stand the sight of me.”

“Holy shit,” said Reiner. “Are you okay?”

“Kind of.”

“Do you need me to come over?”

Annie actually considered it for a moment. But no – that wasn’t the only reason she wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t going to let Reiner know that she’d basically failed in an attempt to make a move on Armin on Friday night.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m going to the gym later. I’ll be busy.”

“You sure?”

“Certain,” she said. “Anyway, you can come and pick these things up. Copy them for Bertholdt or something.”

“I just can’t come and pick them up today. Right?”

“Yeah, basically.”

Reiner snorted. “Fine, okay. I’ll come by and get them copied.”

“Thanks.”

Reiner paused. “Have you looked at them?”

“No,” she said.

“Why not?”

She wouldn’t tell him that she couldn’t stand to see herself in those photos with Marcel. Seeing his face would be enough of a punch to the gut as it was, but seeing her there with him … no. Looking at that would be impossible.

“I just haven’t,” she said. “Anyway, I should probably get going now. I just wanted to let you know.”

Reiner paused for far too long. She knew he wanted to ask more – but her shoulders sank in relief when he didn’t.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll come by one day when you finish work if I have time.”

“Cool,” she said. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll see you.”

The call ended with a long beep, and then Annie was back in the silence of her apartment again.

She glanced at her phone and scowled. The battery was nearly dead. Guess she wasn’t listening to her own music at the gym. At least there would be music playing on the speakers there, so that would just have to do.

The quiet wasn’t that bad on the way to the gym, and as it turned out, the music was more than enough to drown most of her thoughts out. It helped that she wasn’t just doing mind-numbing cardio this time, and luckily, the gym wasn’t that busy on a Sunday morning, so most of the equipment she wanted to use was free when she wanted to be. That seemed to be the only good thing about her whole weekend.

But she nearly jumped out of her skin when she was on the rowing machine, and a far too familiar voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Hey, Annie. I didn’t think I’d see you here today.”

Annie stopped her movements and turned her head. Her stomach dropped.

Of course she would run into Mikasa today.

Annie tried to keep the disappointment from her face when she said, “Yeah, me neither. I just decided to come here this morning.”

“Well, it’s good to see you,” said Mikasa, and much to Annie’s horror, she settled down on the rowing machine beside her.

It was lucky that Mikasa was a naturally quieter and reserved person because it gave Annie some time to think about what to say. The last thing she wanted Mikasa to do was ask how she was. Mikasa was smart enough to usually avoid that topic these days, but even she had to admit that it was strange for her to be at the gym on a Sunday morning. She used to meet Mikasa on a Wednesday after work every week, but Mikasa hadn’t pushed her much about it ever since the accident. Sundays were usually her actual days off – she would go shopping and finish any chores she had; she often used to hang out with Reiner when he still lived in the city. Things were different now.

So, Annie said, “How are things with you?”

“Fine,” said Mikasa. “Eren’s nagging me about getting a cat, though.”

Annie snorted. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I keep telling him I don’t want one, but I think I’m gonna surprise him with one.”

Annie snorted again. “Well, if I see any good ones, I’ll let you know.”

“I appreciate that,” said Mikasa lightly. “Oh, and also, while you’re here – I meant to ask if you wanted to have dinner on Friday night.”

“Friday?” asked Annie.

Mikasa glanced over at her, and her eyebrows pinched together. “Are you busy?”

“No,” she said. “I just didn’t take you and Eren as dinner party sort of people.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re nearly thirty,” said Mikasa with a sigh. “You become dinner party sort of people.”

“I haven’t,” said Annie pointedly.

“Yeah, because I think a part of you still thinks you’re twenty-five,” said Mikasa with a slight smile. Then, she added, “So? Will you come?”

Annie sighed. “How many people are coming?”

“Honestly?” said Mikasa. “It’ll probably just be the four of us.”

Annie’s stomach flipped. “The four of us?”

“Yeah,” said Mikasa. “You know. Me, Eren, you, and Armin.”

Her heart sank.

She tried to look as casual as possible as she asked, “Does Armin know I’m coming?”

“Yeah, of course he does,” said Mikasa. “I talked to him on the phone last night about it. He sounded pretty happy about it.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. She doubted that very much. But, she supposed, it wasn’t particularly hard to lie on a phone call. She turned out to be fairly bad at it, but Armin was a bit better with his words than her.

“Annie?” said Mikasa, her eyebrows drawing together. “Has something happened between you two?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“Are you sure?” asked Mikasa.

Mikasa was too smart, and Annie absolutely did not want her to figure out the truth. So, instead, she decided to take a different approach.

“No,” she said. “I just got super drunk at his place on Friday night, and I don’t really remember what I said. But I’m pretty embarrassed about it.”

“Ah, okay,” said Mikasa with a slight smile. “Well, it mustn’t have been that bad. He was pretty happy to hear I’d be asking you to come.”

“Yeah,” said Annie, but she didn’t believe it at all. “That’s a relief, at least.”

Mikasa didn’t say anything else on the topic, which turned out to be the biggest relief of the day. Picking Mikasa as her gym buddy had turned out to be one of her best decisions – she was fine with quietly working out beside her. On the bright side, since she’d appeared, at least Mikasa could spot her. That took enough focus to keep her mind far from thoughts she’d rather not dwell too much on.

But by the time they parted and Annie made her way home, her thoughts eventually led her back to Armin.

That dinner would be horrible. She wondered, for a moment, if she could show up drunk before it. No – she wasn’t really a subtle drunk at all. Her cheeks turned red, and she tended to be more confident in the worst of ways. Mikasa and Armin would definitely catch on – and Armin noticing wouldn’t have been her main concern, but she would feel pretty bad for making Mikasa’s night more uncomfortable.

As if it wasn’t already going to be uncomfortable enough.

Annie sighed as she neared the top of the stairs to the floor of her apartment. It didn’t matter. She’d get through it. She’d gotten through much worse. And now, at least, she could let Reiner know that she was actually getting out. She knew it would be one of the first things he asked when she saw him again.

But when Annie raised her eyes from the floor when she turned the corner to where her apartment was, her heart nearly stopped.

Armin was sitting on the ground by her apartment, arms resting on his knees, the back of his head pressed against the door with his eyes closed. She wasn’t surprised that he was wearing a cardigan – this one was a navy blue, which meshed nicely with the rest of his beige attire, and the cuffs were pushed up to his elbows.

His eyes flickered up when he noticed her presence. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, her eyebrows furrowing. “Uh … why are you on the floor?”

“Sorry,” he said, getting to his feet. He brushed his pants when he was upright. “I called, but you weren’t picking up, so I thought I would just come over. I didn’t realise you’d be out without your phone.”

“Yeah,” she said. “My phone was dead, so I just went to the gym without it.”

He nodded, and his eyebrows raised. “Did you have a good time?”

“Sort of,” she said. “I ran into Mikasa. Got more done since she could spot me.”

He nodded again. “Well, that’s good.”

That quiet fell between them again, tense and suffocating, and even Armin couldn’t seem to meet her eyes.

Eventually, she cleared her throat. “Well, I’m not dead if that’s what you were checking. So …”

Armin shook his head. “That wasn’t why I called. I just … I wanted to talk. I thought it would be better in person.”

Annie felt sick. How kind of him to politely reject her in her own home. God, she was going to go insane.

She swallowed. “Okay. Do you wanna come in, then?”

He nodded. “Yeah. If it’s not a bad time?”

“No,” she said, brushing past him to unlock her door. “I don’t have anything else planned.”

Annie offered him a seat at her tiny, square dining table before she snatched the photo album off of it and briefly excused herself. She shoved it under her bed and made sure it was wedged so far beneath it that it was completely out of sight. Not that she would be able to forget that it was there, but when she couldn’t see it, it brought her a tiny bit of peace.

When she made her way back to the kitchen, it was far too quiet again.

She cleared her throat, and he turned to look at her over his shoulder.

“Would you like a smoothie or something?” she asked, moving to her fridge. “It’s all I’ve really got today. Or my finest tap water.”

He smiled slightly. “Uh … the smoothie is fine, thanks.”

“Cool,” she said under her breath, pulling the fridge open.

He muttered a ‘thank you’ when she passed him a glass of the thick, yellow liquid, and she sat down with her own glass opposite him. She couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers gripped the glass when it was rested on the table, both of his hands wrapped around it, maybe just a little too firmly.

She wondered if she should have asked if he’d wanted a glass of wine.

“Okay,” she said finally. “Spit it out. This is killing me.”

He took a deep breath and glanced down at his glass again. “I’ve been thinking about … what you asked.”

Her heart sank. “Armin,” she began. “You don’t –”

“Yes.”

Any words she’d planned on saying froze in her throat. She swallowed them down and asked, “Yes?”

His eyes met hers again, a darker blue than she had remembered. But she didn’t spend a lot of time staring into his eyes.

“The answer is yes,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I’ll do those things with you.”

Her mouth turned dry. Her lips parted, but again, words absolutely failed her.

His eyebrows pinched together. “Unless I’ve gotten this wrong. You did – you do want to try those things, right?”

“N-no,” she managed. “You’re right. I do. I just … I thought you were avoiding me.”

His eyebrows furrowed further if that was even possible. “I’d never avoid you. I just needed time to think about it.”

“And you’ve thought about it,” she said slowly.

“Yeah,” he said. Then, he said, “To be honest, Annie … I wanted to say yes when you first asked. I just … I really hadn’t expected you to, and we were both drunk and … well, it doesn’t matter now. My answer hasn’t changed.”

Annie swallowed. “Okay. Then … why did you not show up yesterday?”

He glanced down at his hands again. “I was trying to consider how it would affect our friendship. You mean a lot to me. I wouldn’t want to fuck that up.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “So … did you just decide that you don’t mind fucking our friendship up?”

“No,” he said. “I decided that we didn’t have to. We could just be … friends with benefits.”

Annie couldn’t help but snort. “That was your conclusion?”

“I don’t particularly think there’s another one if you want us to keep being friends while fucking on the side, yeah,” he said.

She paused for a minute. “Yeah. Fair point.”

He leaned back in his chair and looked at her for a moment. His gaze was like a touch, and she almost wanted to shy away from it.

“So?” he said.

Her eyebrows raised. “So, what?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Is that something you’re comfortable with?” He cleared his throat. “Are you still interested in … what you said?”

Annie almost wanted to laugh. She’d baldly asked him if he could dominate her the other night, and now here he was, not even able to say the words directly.

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m very interested.”

He nodded. “Okay. Good.” Then, he added, “Do you … know what you’re interested in?”

Annie shrugged. “All of it, really.”

His eyebrows raised. “All of it?”

“Well,” she said. “I guess there’s some limits. But we can work those out.”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “We can do that.” Then, his eyebrows pinched together, and he added, “Can I ask you something?”

“It depends on what you’re asking,” she said flatly. “But go ahead.”

“What … what made you even consider this?” he asked. “Have you always been curious? Or did you just … was it after what you saw?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. She couldn’t tell him the God-honest truth. He would probably walk out right away – no, she would tell him a half-truth. At least then, he probably wouldn’t catch onto her lie.

“Well, ever since I found your bondage box –”

Armin winced. “I really asked you not to call it that.”

She waved him off. “Well, ever since I found your toys … I don’t know. I was just thinking about it. I got curious. I Googled some stuff, and …” Annie cleared her throat. “How graphic can I be without completely freaking you out?”

His eyebrows drew together. “I think we’re far past that point.”

“Right,” she said. “Well … I was just thinking about some of those toys … and what you could do to me with them. I mean … it was pretty vanilla stuff – like blindfolds and spanking, but –”

“You were actually thinking about me?” he asked.

Her eyes met his again. They were quite dark, weren’t they?

“Yes,” she said gently. “Does that bother you?”

He held her gaze. “No. It doesn’t.” Then, he added, more tentatively, “Did you …”

The unspoken words hung between them like stars without a constellation.

“Did I get off?” she asked finally. “Absolutely.”

Armin’s eyebrows raised for a moment. Then, he swallowed and said, “Oh. Was it …”

“It was great,” she said bluntly. “So, I’d like to try that stuff for real.”

He swallowed again and nodded. “Right. Yeah. We can do that.” Then, he added, less strained, “We should figure out what you want to do, then.”

“I told you,” she said. “All of it.” Then, after a pause, she added, “Okay, nothing with shit, piss, or vomit. Or blood. But I maybe could be swayed on that.”

Armin’s eyes widened. “You realise how much that encompasses, right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I mean, breast torture sounds a little too much. But I mean … I’ll try anything for thirty seconds, really.”

He was still looking at her with that shocked expression plastered across his face. It might have even been funny under slightly different circumstances.

“What?” she asked. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re into this stuff.”

“I’m just … surprised,” he said. “But – I’ll do whatever you want, Annie.”

Her pulse quickened. She swallowed and said, “Tell me, then. What is it you’re getting out of this? Because I’d rather not be fucked out of pity if that’s what it is.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I’d never fuck anyone out of pity.”

Her gaze didn’t waver. “Then what is it? Why are you agreeing?”

Armin sighed and looked away. “To be honest … well, I haven’t been in a relationship in a while. And I’m not really in a rush to get in one, either. And one-night stands suck.”

“So …” she said, letting a slight smirk rise to her lips. “It’s because it’s me or your right hand, right?”

Armin let out a tiny huff of laughter. “Not entirely.” His gaze raised to hers again. “You’re also very attractive, Annie. Plus, you’re my friend … we don’t have to try and get to know each other – we already know each other. It’s easy.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Then, he raised an eyebrow. “I’m guessing the only reason you asked me is because I’m the first person you found out was into this stuff?”

“No, actually,” she said. “I’d say our reasons are pretty similar.” She smiled. “Except my other option was my left hand.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you were right-handed?”

“I am,” she said. “I don’t know. She just likes the left hand more.”

Armin’s mouth split into a smile. “She?”

She frowned. “Well, it wouldn’t be a he, would it?”

He shook his head, but he was still smiling. She was a little surprised at how it made warmth spread through her chest.

“I’d guess not,” he said. Then, his smile softened. “If you want to go through with this, I need you to pick a safe word.”

“A safe word?” she asked.

“Well, there wasn’t a lot you said you wouldn’t try,” he said, leaning back in his seat. “But if we start doing something and you hate it, I need you to be able to tell me that immediately.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “Can I not just say ‘stop’?”

“Uh, well …” The slight smile he gave her made her insides tense. “You might like saying stop when you don’t really mean it. So … you need a word you would never say in those circumstances.”

“Oh,” she said, more dumbly than ever.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling sympathetically. “So … just give it some thought.”

Annie swallowed. She was starting to feel strange beneath his gaze. Where had this come from? But no – it wasn’t like it had come from nowhere. She’d always found him attractive – it was just getting harder to ignore when they were discussing how exactly she would like him to fuck her.

She cleared her throat. “So, something I’d just … never say during sex?”

“Basically,” he said. “Then I’ll know you genuinely want to stop.”

The word came to her mind instantly.

“Daisies,” she said.

His eyebrows raised. “Daisies?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I fucking hate flowers.”

He smiled slightly. “Okay. Daisies it is.”

She nodded and let out a breath. “Cool.”

His voice was like a caress when he spoke again. “Annie? Can I ask you something else?”

She met his eye and nodded.

“Have you ever … done anything like this before?” he asked. “Just so I can gauge how to go about things.”

She glanced down at her glass on the table. She’d barely touched her smoothie. Armin must have noticed, but she hoped he didn’t say anything about it.

“No,” she said after a pause. “I mean, the occasional ass smack probably isn’t all that kinky. And then just anal in college like twice.” Her nose shrivelled at the memory. “That was terrible.”

His eyebrows raised. “So you don’t want anything like that?”

Annie shrugged. “I’m fine with it. I think it was terrible because he was bad at it. I’m hoping your reviews are raving.”

Armin glanced down and smiled. “Well, I don’t know if they’re raving, but I’d say they’re pretty good.”

She snorted. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

He was still smiling when he met her gaze again. It sent a thrill of excitement through her in a way his smile never had before.

“I’ll try and exceed your expectations,” he said. Then, his smile faded, and he added gently, “Is there anything you’d like to start with?”

Her face was warm. “Specifically?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I think it’s important to start with something you’re curious about.”

“Right,” she said, but her mouth had gone dry. She swallowed. “I think we should start simple. Like … blindfolds and spanking. The less adventurous stuff – then, maybe, we can …”

“Work our way up,” he finished.

“Yeah,” she said. “We can.”

“Okay,” he said gently. “We can do something like that. I mean, I might take some liberties, but –”

“Please do,” she said.

Armin’s mouth closed, and he smiled again. “Alright. I will.” Then, he added, “Does Saturday evening work for you?”

She nodded. “That’s perfect.”

“Good,” he said with a nod.

“Cool,” she said. “Try not to act too awkward at dinner on Friday night, then.”

He laughed. “I’ll be fine. I’d worry more about yourself.”

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Your emotions just show up on your face,” he said. “Well – the negative ones, at least.”

Her frown somehow deepened. “That is not true.”

“It is, a little,” he said.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine. But don’t say a word about this to anyone else. Okay?”

His smile was as soft as snowfall. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good,” she said. Then, she cleared her throat. “Is that everything, then?”

“I’d say so,” he said.

“Okay,” she said. “Get out of here, then. I probably stink from the gym, and I’m desperate for a shower.”

“Probably?” he asked with a slight smile. “I can smell you from here.”

Annie groaned and kicked him under the table. “Shut up.”

He grinned. “I’m just joking. You smell fine.”

“I figured,” she said, getting to her feet. “Now get going. I’ve got a date.”

He smiled like he was holding back laughter as he rose to his feet. “Let me guess – it’s with your showerhead?”

Annie sighed. “You know me too well.”

Armin laughed and shook his head. “I’ll see you on Friday.”

She smiled slightly. It felt far too genuine. “I’ll see you then.”

Then, he gave her a warm smile, one that caressed her flesh too gently, before turning to the door to leave. And just like that, he was gone – but her skin was still tingling even by the time she stepped into the shower.

Chapter Text

To say Annie enjoyed her date with her showerhead would have been an understatement.

When she stepped out of the shower, she was surprised she could still walk. She had, maybe, gotten a little carried away. And a little over-excited.

Any sense of shame she could have felt was easy to ignore; she was so tired that the only things she did that evening were make dinner and crawl into bed. She supposed she had Armin to thank for the good night’s sleep.

But she was distracted at work again.

It was easy to ignore when she was teaching her classes, but when her break came around, she sat in the gym’s café, trying to ignore all those thoughts about him – to no avail.

She was almost in shock. It was difficult to believe that he had agreed at all. And he had been right – there was a chance doing something like this could harm their friendship. But he had still agreed. It was something that she was still trying to wrap her head around.

Had he really wanted to fuck her that badly?

“You seem like you’re having a nice thought.”

Pieck’s voice made Annie nearly jump out of her skin. She turned to her and scowled.

Pieck smiled. “So, would you care to share?”

“No,” said Annie.

Pieck settled down in the chair opposite her. “Were you thinking about your kinky friend?”

Annie averted her gaze. “What? No. I wasn’t.”

She sighed. “Come on. Do you not have any updates? Has nothing come of it?”

She tried to ignore how hot her face was getting. “No. Nothing.”

Pieck arched an eyebrow. “So you haven’t talked to him since?”

Annie swallowed and finally met her gaze. “Yes. But not about that. We’re pretending it didn’t happen.”

She could tell from the look that Pieck gave her that she didn’t quite believe her. “How’s that going?”

A part of Annie just wanted to say it. Well, we’re fucking on Saturday, so it’s not going well. But a part of her was worried that if she just admitted it, Pieck would soon figure out why she’d suddenly decided to screw one of her closest friends. Finding kinky sex toys in someone’s bedroom wasn’t really enough of a reason to do that.

“Great,” said Annie. “It’s going great.”

Pieck smiled. “Is he handsome?”

Annie’s eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Is he handsome?” asked Pieck. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m not answering that,” she said.

“Why not?” asked Pieck. “I can tell you think so.”

“I’ve never said I think he’s handsome,” said Annie pointedly.

Pieck smiled softly. “You didn’t have to.”

Annie debated for a moment if she should just get up and leave the conversation. At least then Pieck would get the message that this was not something she wanted to discuss, especially in the gym’s café on her break. But she was certain that Pieck already knew that this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have – yet, here she was, still trying to push it further.

“What’s his name again?” continued Pieck. “Armie?”

“Armin,” corrected Annie.

“Oh, yeah. Armin,” she said with a slight nod. “I remember now. Isn’t a really dominant sounding name.”

Annie scowled.

Pieck smiled. “Can I see a picture?”

Somehow, her scowl deepened. “Of what?”

“Your kinky friend,” she clarified.

“No,” said Annie immediately.

“You say that,” said Pieck, pulling out her phone. “But how many Armins do you know? I’m betting you’re only friends with one of them on Facebook.”

Annie sighed. “Fine. Look him up.”

But Pieck was already there, squinting at Armin’s Facebook profile picture.

She liked that photo of Armin. It was pretty typical of him – it was at the beach on a summer’s day, and he was wearing a white shirt that clung to him more than his usual choice of clothing; his hair was blowing a little bit in the breeze, and he was smiling so genuinely the sight of it often made her want to smile, too.

“He’s cute,” said Pieck.

Annie snorted.

“What?” said Pieck. “He is.” Then, she added, “I stand by what I said, though. He definitely does not look like the dominating type.”

Annie scoffed. “I guess looks can be deceiving.”

“Clearly,” said Pieck. “He looks like he’d ask you to step on him.”

“I doubt that,” said Annie pointedly.

“Well,” said Pieck with a slight smile. “There’s still time.”

Annie frowned. “Please stop talking.”

Pieck sighed. “No.”

While she didn’t stop talking, Pieck at least had the decency to change the subject to something more appropriate for the gym’s café. Still, Annie wasn’t sure if she would find any discussion about Armin and his toys appropriate anywhere – unless the conversation was with him, in his apartment. Or, more specifically, on his bed. Or, really, any furniture that they could –

Annie bit the inside of her lip and tried to focus on what Pieck was saying. She seriously had a problem.

At least their break was coming to an end soon. Then, it was easier to take her mind off of things – off of him. How had it gotten so difficult to keep him out of her thoughts?

It didn’t matter. She got on with her classes in the afternoon, and they went as well as they always did. Still, she was relieved when she was finally free to make the commute back to her apartment, earphones in like they always were with some mindless pop music playing endlessly with lyrics she’d never bothered to learn.

It surrounded her, like plunging into the warm ocean, so when she was fumbling for her keys in front of her apartment door and something tapped on her shoulder, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

She spun around and tore the earphones out by the wires, meeting her nosy neighbour face to face.

“Jeez,” said Hitch, flinching back. “Who pissed you off?”

Annie frowned. “You did. You scared me.”

“Don’t you teach self-defence classes?” said Hitch, moving back to lean against her doorframe. “You need to be on better guard. Practice what you preach and all that.”

“I don’t need to be on guard,” she said. “I could still kick your ass.”

“I don’t doubt that,” said Hitch. “How are you, anyway?”

“Fine,” said Annie, pushing her key into the lock.

“Who was that guy waiting outside your apartment?”

Annie stopped. Of course Hitch wanted to ask about that. It was a coincidence that he and Hitch had never met, considering how frequently Hitch tended to burst into her apartment. Then again, he didn’t use to live so close – it was luck that had saved them from meeting. Well, until yesterday, apparently.

“He was cute,” she said pointedly.

Annie sighed and turned around. “I’m assuming you talked to him?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Hitch, like it was obvious. “There was some random guy waiting for you outside your apartment. I was trying to figure out if he was your stalker or not.”

Annie raised an eyebrow. “So, you don’t need me to tell you who he is, then?”

“I’d still like to hear it from you,” said Hitch.

“That’s a shame,” she said flatly, before pushing her door open to her apartment.

“Wait!” said Hitch. “There’s something else.”

Annie turned around to face her, but when she did, she found that Hitch was nowhere to be seen. But the door to her apartment was wide open, and Annie looked in curiously for a few moments before Hitch appeared again with a plastic box in hand.

She thrust her arms out. “I baked cookies. I made a lot, and since you’re my favourite neighbour, I thought you should get the most. I know you have a sweet tooth.”

Annie paused for a minute before she reached out towards the box. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” said Hitch.

She felt the tiniest twang of guilt in her chest for a moment. Maybe she had been a bit abrupt. Then again, she was sure she’d always been abrupt when it came to Hitch, yet she still came knocking on her door.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you as much lately,” said Annie. “You haven’t burst into my apartment in over a week.”

“Miss me that much?” asked Hitch.

Annie snorted. “Yeah. I was pining for you.”

Hitch smiled. “I thought you would.” Then, she added, “I was at a convention for work.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “You go to conventions for work?”

“Well, I have my own stand, you know,” she said. “Merchandise doesn’t sell itself.”

Annie was still mildly perplexed, but she knew she didn’t want to know more details. This information didn’t sway any of the ideas she already had about Hitch’s work – if anything, it basically confirmed it. Porn conventions did exist, obviously – did cam-girls go to those things? What kind of merchandise did they even sell? She didn’t want to know. Then again, there was a chance that Hitch wasn’t a cam girl – but every time she’d heard her talking loudly and sweetly to what was no doubt a virtual audience when she passed her apartment, she found she really didn’t want to know more.

“Did you enjoy it?” she managed to ask.

Hitch shrugged. “It was okay.” Then, she added, “Okay, so who is that guy? If he’s your friend, why was he waiting outside your apartment like that?”

The brief guilt she’d felt vanished.

“My phone died,” she said. “I wasn’t in. He wanted to talk to me. That’s all.”

“Are you dating?” asked Hitch.

“No,” said Annie.

“Do you want to date him?” she asked.

“No,” she said, turning back towards the door.

“Are you fucking him?” she asked.

“What?” said Annie, spinning around to face Hitch again. “Why would you ask that?”

“Curiosity,” said Hitch. Then, she added, “And you didn’t say no.”

Annie scowled. Pieck at work was one thing, but Hitch was something else entirely. Pieck was perceptive and enjoyed teasing her, but she tended to give up when she noticed how much it was getting underneath Annie’s skin. Hitch, however, was not Pieck – and the further she went, the more enthralled she seemed to get.

“We aren’t,” she said pointedly.

“Will you?” asked Hitch.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” said Annie flatly. “Thanks for the cookies.”

“Wait!” said Hitch. “I’m sorry. I’m just yanking your chain. I wanted to talk to you a little while longer.”

Annie paused for a moment and turned back to face Hitch. Her stomach fell at the sight of the smirk on her mouth.

“Is he … you know,” said Hitch. “Well-endowed?”

“Okay,” said Annie, turning away again. “I’m going.”

“Well?” asked Hitch. “Is he?”

“If I find out, I’ll let you know,” she said flatly.

“Please do!”

Without another word, Annie closed the door between them. She let out a breath of relief when no knock followed – Hitch had given up her pursuit. Maybe her goal was to get on her nerves and give her baked goods. Those were the two things she usually did, Annie supposed.

She placed the container on the counter before popping the lid to remove one of the cookies. They looked good, especially for someone who just baked for fun. They were really sweet, too, which was exactly how Annie liked them. She sighed. Once the fury had faded, she would message Hitch again to thank her for the cookies. But it still simmered in her chest, so she clicked the lid back on the container and undressed before slipping into the shower to rub off the sweat that had collected on her skin throughout the day.

On busy days, she often showered between classes at work in the middle of the day. The last thing anyone wanted was an overly sweaty instructor, but those showers were usually quick and just to freshen up. She tended to take her time at home, even when she wasn’t playing with the showerhead. But for once, she didn’t linger. She’d probably abused that poor showerhead a little too much the night before – now that her tiredness had passed, she did feel a little bit embarrassed over it. So her shower was hasty and cold, and she made sure not to look directly at the showerhead, almost as if it would judge her for what she’d done. Annie thought she would if she were the showerhead.

She switched some random playlist on when she was done – something random on Spotify as she debated what she would do with her evening. But she didn’t make it very far.

Ah. Of course.

Can’t Help Falling in Love.

Marcel’s favourite song.

What were the odds?

Annie moved so quickly she nearly hurt herself – she slammed her hand down on the screen hard until she was sure the sound faded into utter silence. She stood there in the quiet of her kitchen, gripping the back of her chair so hard that she was surprised she didn’t snap the wood in half.

Could she breathe? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t suffocating – but air didn’t seem to be flowing into her lungs the way it should have been.

She wondered if she should look at those photographs.

This was the thought that snapped her out of it. She snatched her phone off of the table and booked an Uber. When she saw it moving on the screen, she dashed to her bedroom and yanked the photo album from beneath her bed.

The drive was too long and far too expensive, but she no longer owned a car, so she was left with little other choice. Not that she couldn’t have gotten a new car, but that was a completely different issue.

Annie was just relieved that when she knocked on Karina Braun’s front door, it was her son who answered.

Reiner’s eyebrows furrowed. “Annie? What are you doing here?”

She thrust out the photo album in her hands. “I figured I’d just bring it to you.”

His face didn’t change for a minute as he stared at the black folder in her hands. Then, it softened, and he stepped aside.

“Come in, then,” he said.

She nodded and stepped inside.

It hadn’t changed much from when they were kids. His mother’s living room was covered in ugly yellow wallpaper and brown and orange furniture that had always made Annie turn up her nose. Not that she could really judge anyone when it came to interior design, considering her apartment was a mess of random colours and mismatched furniture.

“Just sit on the couch,” he said. “Do you want a cup of coffee?”

“Yeah,” she said. “With a –”

“Shit tonne of sugar and milk,” said Reiner. “Yeah, I know.”

She managed a nearly imperceptible smile. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” said Reiner, and then he disappeared to make their coffee.

When he was back, Annie was sitting on the ugly orange couch, the photo album set perfectly on the table before her. Reiner placed two garish mugs on the table before nudging the bright green one towards Annie.

It was hot enough to scold, but she took a sip all the same.

“Is your mom out?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Reiner. “She’s just at the neighbour’s place. She goes for a coffee every now and then.”

Annie nodded.

His eyebrows furrowed. “I can’t believe you got an Uber all the way out here.”

She shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t exactly drive.”

His gaze was too harsh for her liking. She knew it was all in her head, but she wanted to fidget underneath it.

“Have you considered getting a new car?” he asked.

She shrugged again. “I don’t need one.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you sure?”

“Certain,” she said. “I got here without one, didn’t I?”

Reiner didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, he reached out towards the coffee table and asked, “Can I?”

Annie’s heart froze, but she tried to ignore it. This is what she’d come for, wasn’t it? Although she had hoped just a little bit that he would save this part for when she wasn’t around.

But she nodded all the same.

Reiner’s fingers gently grabbed onto the photo album before dragging it into his lap. His eyebrows pinched together as he pulled it open, and Annie was glad she couldn’t make out the photos from where she sat.

Reiner suddenly laughed. “Holy shit, I forgot these existed. Remember when we crashed prom?”

Annie’s eyes raised for a moment, but then she snorted. “Yeah, because you thought it was a great idea to smoke a joint underneath the bleachers.”

“I’m not the reason we got suspended,” he said pointedly. “You were smoking it, too.”

“Yeah, well,” she said. “I guess I used to be cool.”

Reiner grinned. “God, yeah. You’re boring now.”

Annie smirked. “You can talk. You’ve moved back in with your mother.”

“It’s at least interesting,” he said with a smile. “I’ve got a curfew again.”

Annie couldn’t contain her laughter. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“I’m not,” said Reiner. “Midnight.”

Her eyes widened. “Only midnight? Reiner, you’re basically thirty.”

“I’m very aware,” he said, still grinning. “It’s a good thing we don’t stay out late anymore.”

Annie hummed. “Yeah, well. Speak for yourself.”

He snorted. “We don’t do stuff together anymore. That part’s true.”

“I’m here right now,” she said pointedly.

“Yeah, but we don’t go clubbing or anything anymore.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You want to go clubbing? Everyone’s so much younger than us in clubs now.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to talk to them,” he said. “Plus, you definitely don’t look that much older. Being so short probably helps, though.”

Annie frowned. “Well, if we do go clubbing again, just stay with me in the city. You wouldn’t want to get an Uber all the way back here, anyway.”

Reiner’s eyebrows raised. “Are you actually considering going clubbing?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah. What’s so wrong with that?”

He paused for a moment before he said, “Nothing. You just … haven’t really seemed eager to do much of anything lately.”

Annie knew he was right. When the topic of clubbing came up, she hadn’t even thought about it, even though some days, days not even that long ago, it had been far too much to even make herself leave her apartment – except to go to work.

“Well,” she said with a shrug. “You’ve caught me in a good mood.”

Reiner raised an eyebrow. “You’re never in a good mood.”

She frowned. “Ouch.”

“I’m right,” he said. Then, he added, “Have you been getting out more?”

She nodded. “I’ve seen Armin a few times.”

He nodded. “Well, that’s good.” Then, he added, more tentatively, “Are you gonna keep getting out?”

She scowled. “Yes, Reiner. Mikasa invited me to dinner on Friday. And then I’m hanging out with Armin on Saturday.”

Annie hated the way he visibly relaxed, but she decided not to say anything about it. He was aware of how much she despised him acting like he was her personal therapist – she wondered if it was so ingrained into him now that he did it without thinking.

“Well, good,” he said. Then, he added, “What are you and Armin doing on Saturday?”

“Fucking,” she said flatly.

Reiner looked at her for a long moment before he sighed. “Right. Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“I’m hilarious,” she deadpanned.

“At least you think that,” he said.

“I know that,” she said, taking a long gulp from her coffee.

She grimaced. It had mostly gone cold. Typical.

Just as she went to drain it, Reiner said, “I talked to Bertholdt.”

Annie froze. She swallowed and placed her mug back down on the table. “You have?”

“Yeah,” he said. “He’s been debating calling you.”

She swallowed and looked away. “What’s there to debate? Can’t he just call?”

Reiner was quiet for far too long. Then, finally, he said, “Can’t you just call him?”

Annie didn’t say anything.

Reiner sighed. “You know, he’s working at his dad’s flower shop in the city now. It’s not too far from your place. I bet he’d be happy if you dropped by.”

Annie snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

Her eyes were fixed on the coffee table, far away from Reiner’s gaze, as silence covered them.

His voice was soft when he spoke. “He’s still your friend, Annie.”

She sighed. “I know.” Then, she raised her eyes to meet his. “Look – I’m doing more things now. I’ve got a busy week! Can you just – cut me some slack?”

Reiner sighed. “I’m not pushing you.” Then, he added, “Well – at least not on purpose.”

She scoffed. “Okay. Right. I’ll … look, I’ll talk to him eventually. I just don’t think I have it in me this week.”

Reiner nodded. “Okay. That’s fine.”

Annie couldn’t take the quiet that followed. She longed for any sound to interrupt it – even Karina Braun strolling in through the door and yammering her ear off. But, of course, nothing came.

So, she sighed and rose to her feet. “Well, I’ll get going. I just wanted to get those to you.”

Reiner’s eyebrows raised. “Okay.” Then, he hesitantly added, “Do you want me to get these copied for you?”

Her heart sank.

“Sure,” she said, but she really, really didn’t mean it.

“Okay,” he said and smiled.

It wasn’t long before Annie was back in her apartment again – she’d almost forgotten about the song incident, but the familiar walls around her brought it all rushing back. She just did her best to ignore it and made sure that damn song couldn’t show up in any of her playlists again – and put on a playlist she was more familiar with before getting on with the rest of her evening.

The week brought no surprises. She went to work every day, Pieck teased her in their breaks, and she went home, occasionally hearing from Reiner, Armin, or Mikasa once or twice. Armin didn’t say anything about their little arrangement on Saturday – which somehow made standing in front of Mikasa’s door on Friday night, dressed in a casual black dress with her hair pinned back and a bottle of wine in her hands much harder than she expected.

Well, the dress wasn’t that casual. Maybe the cleavage dropped too much, and maybe it clung a bit too tightly, but it’s something she would wear to a fancy meal. She had no idea what to wear to a dinner party, so she assumed the nicer, the better.

She was relieved when Mikasa answered the door with a wide smile on her face. She was also wearing a black dress – long and velvet and nearly exactly like something Morticia Addams would be caught wearing.

“Hey!” said Mikasa. “You look nice.”

“Thanks,” she said. “That dress is cute. I’d drown in it.”

Mikasa let out a huff of laughter and stepped aside. “I’m sure they make dresses like this for shorter women.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” she said flatly.

Annie’s breath caught in her throat, and she was very glad she’d gotten far enough past Mikasa that she couldn’t quite see the expression on her face.

Armin was already here.

He was helping set the table with Eren, smiling like she’d just caught him mid-laugh. He was wearing black trousers and nice Chelsea boots, but what was distracting her most was that white button-up he was wearing – the top few buttons undone, showing warm skin that made her fingers tingle to touch. But then, even worse was how the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, finally giving justice to the slight muscle of his arms.

He also, she was starting to notice, had ridiculously nice hands. Had his hands always been that nice?

“Annie?”

Mikasa’s voice snapped her back to attention.

She reached her hand out with a smile. “Is that for everyone, or is it your own personal bottle?”

Annie scoffed and held her hands out. “It’s for everyone. I’m willing to share this time.”

Mikasa smiled. “Thanks.”

Mikasa took it from her hands, and she wondered how soon she could ask her to pour a glass. But she was relieved when she placed it down on the table next to an already open bottle and held a glass out to her – Annie nodded, and she poured her a fresh glass.

This finally brought Eren and Armin’s attention to her. They both said “Hey” at the same time, but Armin’s voice was lighter, softer, and nearly enough to make her spine tingle.

She grabbed that fresh glass of wine off of the table as soon as she could. Unfortunately, that took her closer to Armin than she was quite ready for.

Armin’s hand gently touched her back, and she tried her best not to react. He was just trying to get her attention.

He smiled at her as naturally as he always did. “Guess what Eren’s done this time?”

She scoffed and took a sip of her wine. “Do I want to know?”

“It’s not that bad,” said Eren.

“He nearly got arrested,” said Mikasa gently.

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “How did you manage that?”

Eren reached up to rub the back of his neck. “It was just a misunderstanding.”

“He got into a bar fight,” clarified Armin.

“I wouldn’t call it a fight,” said Eren.

“It really was,” said Mikasa.

Eren frowned. “That guy was being an ass to you.”

Annie took a sip of her wine. “Oh, so you were defending Mikasa’s honour? How noble.”

Armin laughed slightly. “He’s a true gentleman.”

“Well, then?” asked Annie. “How’d you escape being arrested?”

“We ran,” said Mikasa with a sigh.

“We didn’t really have a lot of other options,” said Eren.

“Either way,” said Armin lightly, “They’re banned from Rose’s.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “From Rose’s? That’s one of the most relaxed bars in town.”

“Well, it wasn’t last night,” said Eren gruffly.

Annie nudged Armin with her elbow. “How can you hang out with criminals like this? Won’t it damage your reputation?”

Armin smiled far too sweetly. “My reputation isn’t as good as you think.”

She didn’t know how, but she managed to hold his gaze. “Is it, now?”

“No,” he said, still smiling. “I can tell you all about it tomorrow if you’d like?”

Annie’s face faltered.

Did he just flirt with her?

His face changed then – he grinned at her and turned away to try and interject in Mikasa and Eren’s bickering over how appropriate it was to run away from the police – and the slow realisation settled on her.

No, he wasn’t quite flirting. But he was teasing her – and he was doing it entirely on purpose.

But he’d already beaten her there. He had left the conversation, just like that, leaving it to fester under her skin.

They had been friends long enough that they’d teased each other incessantly. And if she really admitted it, they probably flirted a little bit more than they should – although maybe that just came with being in each other’s company just a bit too much and still single. But this … oh, he was just being cruel.

Annie drained her glass of wine and was relieved when no one commented on her refilling it right away.

On the bright side, at least, food was served soon, and the conversation was easier than expected. Eren had made them what he called a “fancy bolognese” (it was a regular bolognese), which turned out to be quite nice. It helped that it went down especially well with a glass or two of red wine.

“Fuck, Annie,” said Mikasa, glancing at the glass she’d just taken a sip from. “Where did you get this wine? It’s amazing.”

“It’s just from this fancy wine store near my apartment,” said Annie, waving her off.

Her eyebrows raised. “Was this expensive?”

Annie shrugged. “No, not really. I can get you another bottle if you’d like?”

“God, please,” said Mikasa.

“You’re quite the wine connoisseur,” said Armin with a nudge of his elbow.

Annie snorted. “Connoisseur?”

“Well, yeah,” he said with a slight smile. “What would you call it?”

“I’d say I just like wine,” she said pointedly.

Eren reached across for Mikasa’s glass. “Can I try?”

“Sure,” she said, passing it over.

Eren’s eyes widened after he took a sip. “Fuck, that is good.” His eyes raised to Annie’s. “Maybe get two.”

Mikasa took her glass back. “Don’t ask for too much.”

“It’s honestly fine,” said Annie, shaking her head. “I’ll bring some over soon.”

Annie’s hand reached for her glass, now full of her own wine, when Armin’s hand pressed over it.

She looked at him. His face was flushed from the wine and had a slight wondrous look on it.

“Can I try?” he asked.

She nodded. “It’s not like stuff you’ve had before. It’s quite strong, actually.”

When Armin moved his hand, she already missed its warmth. He curled his fingers around the glass, raised it to his lips, and sipped.

His eyebrows raised when he returned the glass to the table. “Shit, that’s really nice.”

She let out a huff of laughter. “If I knew you guys would like it so much, I’d have brought more over tonight.”

Armin returned to his own drink before he lowered it and smiled. “Do you think you could drop off a bottle at my place tomorrow?”

Her face faltered. He’d worded it carefully now that Eren and Mikasa were paying attention, but it still took her aback slightly.

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s no problem.”

His smile widened. “Thank you.”

Eren groaned. “Did you have to ask first? Now I’ll feel bad for asking.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “Then don’t ask.”

Armin and Mikasa laughed, and Eren fake-frowned.

Mikasa shook her head. “We don’t need more wine tomorrow. You get horrible hangovers.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed. “How much are you planning on drinking?”

Mikasa shrugged. “It’s Friday night!”

Eren’s face changed immediately – he grinned and raised his glass. “Good enough for me!”

Annie couldn’t help but glance at Armin whilst those two finished their glasses. But when she looked over, Armin clearly had the same idea as her.

He smiled, and it had that weird effect again – like warmth was spreading south in a way that it shouldn’t be at Mikasa and Eren’s dinner party.

“Would you like a glass of water?” he asked quietly.

She held his gaze. “If you’re having one.”

He let out a slight huff of laughter and rose from the table. He returned only a few moments later with two glasses of water, both of them claiming that they get horrible hangovers now, and it was enough to convince them. Still, Mikasa’s gaze lingered just a little too long, but Annie did her best to pretend like she didn’t see it.

After another glass or two of wine, Mikasa and Eren moved through to the living room, putting their own music on and seeming to have a little party of their own.

Annie could have rolled her eyes. She was glad that a wall separated their apartment's living room and kitchen.

But even after the few glasses she’d had, she was still far too aware of the quiet between her and Armin as they cleared the table and began doing the dishes. She insisted on washing them in case he made any sort of mess on his white shirt – plus, it also helped keep her hands busy. There was a certain amount of peace from scrubbing the plates clean, even if Armin was waiting beside her to dry them off.

He cleared his throat. “You look beautiful in your dress.”

Her hands froze in the water, and she glanced over at him. He was looking at the plate he was drying, and if she hadn’t known better, she’d have said she had imagined it.

But then, he added, “I said that wrong. You’re always beautiful – but, well … that dress looks very good on you.”

Annie paused for a minute before she scoffed and turned back to the dishes. “You could have just said that the dress was nice.”

He let out a slight huff of laughter. “Maybe. But I was trying to say that it looked nice on you. I wouldn’t be thinking about it if someone else was wearing it.”

Annie wished she could have hidden the way her breath caught slightly. She swallowed and finished scrubbing another plate before passing it over to him.

“You look nice,” she said. “Your shirt is really nice. You cover up too much.”

He paused for a minute. “Is that you saying you want me to wear less clothing?”

Annie looked over at him again, but he was smiling in that playful way. She was struggling to cope with how her body was reacting to it.

“If that’s how you want to take it,” she said coolly.

He let out a breath of laughter. “Okay.”

They fell quiet again. There were only spoons and forks left to clean now. She would have liked to wipe down the table, too, but it was a thought far at the back of her mind now. She was far too focused on how close he seemed to be standing. Well, it wasn’t like he could stand on the other side of the kitchen when she was passing him the dishes.

She swallowed. “What time should I come over tomorrow?”

His voice was softer than any touch. “Any time you want.”

She paused for a moment and said, “Seven?”

He smiled. “Seven is good for me.” Then, he added, “Do you want me to cook dinner?”

She shook her head. “No. No, you’ll already be doing more than enough for me tomorrow.”

Armin was strangely quiet. But then she glanced back over at him and he was biting his lips together like he was trying to contain laughter. The dam broke when she furrowed her eyebrows at him.

“Annie,” he said through his laughter. “Why’d you say that?”

“It’s true,” she said pointedly.

He shook his head and took the next piece of cutlery from her hand. “You’re not the only one getting something out of this, remember?”

“True,” she said quietly. “I am your right-hand replacement.”

He snorted. “I’m your left-hand replacement.”

She let out a hiss of laughter. “If you do good enough, you might even replace my showerhead, too.”

Armin laughed again, a deep sound straight from his stomach that made her want to laugh, too.

“Tough competition,” he said after his laughter had cooled down.

She snorted. “I hope you’re up to the task.”

“I am,” he said, and then he took the last piece of cutlery from her hand and dried it off.

Just as she’d finished drying off her hands, she turned away from the sink but was immediately met by Armin, a firm hand on her hip that nearly made her jump.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “Uhm … I don’t want to make this weird, but …”

She nearly shuddered when his thumb rubbed circles into her hip.

His voice was still low, and his gaze awfully dark. “Could I make a request? For tomorrow?”

Annie was sure her heart had stopped beating for a moment. Yet somehow, she managed to nod and say, “That depends on the request.”

He smiled slightly before his face grew a little darker again. “Do you have any other dresses like this?”

She cocked an eyebrow. “A black dress?”

He nodded. “And …” Armin dropped her gaze for a moment and whispered, “Tight.”

Her pulse quickened, but she managed to nod.

“I’ve got something that could work,” she said.

He smiled slightly. His voice was too gentle – far too much like a caress. “Thank you.”

She swallowed and jabbed a finger into his chest. “But you have to wear something flattering.”

His smile widened. “I’ll do my best.” Then, he added lightly, “Cardigans aren’t that sexy, anyway.”

She snorted. “They’re cute. Maybe not sexy.”

He hummed in agreement, but he didn’t quite look away. Her heart jumped when she noticed the way his eyes flickered down to her mouth. He wasn’t really thinking about that now?

She cleared her throat and said quietly, “I don’t think friends act like this.”

His face softened. “Do you have a problem with it?”

Her eyebrows pinched together. “Should I?”

She nearly shivered at the brush of his thumb over her hip again.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.

She pinched her eyes shut when she felt the brush of his thumb over her jaw before his hand came to settle gently on the side of her neck.

Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I think you’ve had too much wine.”

His laughter was breathy and light. “And you haven’t?”

Her eyes flew open. It took everything in her body to convince herself not to kiss him and not to ask him to take her home tonight.

Instead, she wrapped her fingers around the hand at her neck to gently guide it away.

“Save your enthusiasm for tomorrow,” she said.

He followed her motion and dropped his hand.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I?”

She shook her head. “No. You’ve made me far too comfortable.”

His eyebrows drew together.

Her heart was thundering in her chest, but she took a sharp breath for some confidence. Then, she raised herself up on her toes, her lips close to his ear, and whispered, “Don’t tempt me into going home with you tonight.”

His eyebrows were raised when she pulled back, and once again, Annie was glad for the alcohol in her system.

He dropped his hand from her hip, and she immediately missed his touch.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow.”

In spite of everything, she nearly smiled then. There was still a gentleness in the way he looked at her that she found endearing – she wondered how much that would change tomorrow when there was nothing but air between them.

But just as her lips started to move, the kitchen door slammed open, and they jumped apart.

“Hey!” said Eren, his face red and voice slurred. “Are you guys done yet? We’re having a dance party!”

Annie choked on her laughter whilst Armin smiled and said, “We’re coming now, Eren.”

Eren nodded and raised his glass before turning wordlessly and stepping out of the kitchen.

Armin turned back to her and smiled sympathetically. “Guess we should go through, then.”

Annie groaned. “You don’t think they’ll actually make us dance, do you?”

He let out a breath of laughter. “Honestly, I don’t think it’s unlikely.”

She groaned again, and he smiled.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll put something slower on, and we can just sway.”

She knew it was a joke, but something about the suggestion that they dance together made her heart stammer. Where had that feeling come from?

“I’d still step on your toes,” she said pointedly.

His smile was as soft as summer rain and twice as enticing. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Chapter Text

Annie knew she shouldn’t do it, yet she still found herself opening a bottle of wine in the hour leading up to her meeting with Armin on Saturday evening.

She had already dressed in a tight black dress, just like he’d asked, with long sleeves and a deep plunge at the cleavage, ending perhaps a little too high on her thighs. It just barely covered her ass. It was a nice dress, but she rarely wore it out; she found herself pulling it down her legs constantly so that she wouldn’t flash a stranger. Then again, she doubted that she would be wearing it that long.

That thought alone made her finish her glass of wine in a few quick gulps.

She let out a breath as she placed her glass back down on the table.

What the fuck was she doing?

Her heart was racing in her chest as she poured herself a smaller second glass. The liquid courage hadn’t quite settled in yet, and, if needed, she would have a glass of water before she left – or when she arrived at Armin’s.

She knew that the thought of him shouldn’t make her so nervous. Thoughts of Armin often brought feelings of comfort. But now, when she knew what tonight would hold, she couldn’t push away that slight tension in her chest.

She wished she could drink the whole bottle, but that would definitely spoil the plans they had in place.

When she finished her smaller glass, she finally had the nerve to book an Uber. While she waited, she washed her glass and placed the open wine bottle in a black tote bag nestled next to an unopened one. It’d be better if Armin knew she’d already had a drink, especially how much – he knew her limits as much as she did.

She was grateful for the lack of conversation when she climbed into her Uber. The silence was replaced by some upbeat pop anthem that was a decent distraction, at least for a few moments.

She sighed and raised her phone to see her face in its camera. She frowned ever so slightly at the screen. Her hair was pinned back, even if only for now, and her makeup was minimal; she wore waterproof mascara and subtle lip gloss that drew more attention to her mouth. She hadn’t really wanted to risk anything more than that. Not only had Armin seen her without makeup a million times, anyway, but also, there was no telling how smudged it would get. She knew roughly what Armin had planned, but –

A lump formed in her throat when his name took shape in her mind.

Armin.

Oh, holy shit, what the fuck did she think she was doing?

The Uber stopped in front of Armin’s apartment building long before she was ready to see it. She found herself clenching her left hand into a fist, almost in an attempt to calm herself, but it was to little avail. Still, she managed to thank the driver and pull herself out of the car, making sure to shrug the tote bag of wine over her shoulder before she made her way inside the building.

The elevator ride was agonising and silent, and she found herself squeezing her eyes shut and taking a deep breath as it moved.

Calm down, she thought. It’s just Armin.

But it was difficult to tell herself that when the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open to reveal Armin’s floor.

She did her best to keep her heart rate steady as she stepped in front of the door to his apartment. Then, tentatively, she knocked on the door.

It only took a second before she heard his footsteps, steady and even, in a way that forced her to take a sharp intake of air to try and shake off her nerves.

Then, the door pulled open, and Armin stood with that heart-twisting smile painted on his face.

“Hey,” he said softly.

Annie’s mouth had opened to say something before he spoke, but she felt slightly like an idiot as she stood there, lips parted, with her eyes taking him in from head to toe.

It wasn’t like it was much different from the outfits he’d worn before – but even what he had been wearing at dinner last night had made her pause. Now, he wasn’t wearing his glasses, but he was wearing grey trousers, fancy black shoes, and a dark blue shirt, which, she was a little bit too thrilled to discover, clung to his form. It didn’t help that he’d rolled his sleeves up again, drawing far too much attention to the slight muscle there, and she found herself looking at him a little bit too shamelessly.

She cleared her throat. “Hey.”

He stepped aside. “Wanna come in?”

She nodded and moved past him, and it was only then that she took note of the music humming in the background and the faint scent of dark rum and something much sweeter and warm wafting through the air.

She felt her pulse quicken when the door clicked shut behind them, but she tried to ignore it and moved to the kitchen table to unload her bottles of wine. When she did, she finally allowed herself to glance around his apartment. The lights were low, and the space was illuminated only by the dim glow of his lamps, with a few lit candles strewn about. That explained the pleasant smell, at least.

“I see you’ve gone all out,” she said.

Armin’s slight breath of laughter nearly tickled her neck, even though he wasn’t standing near her. “Yeah. I thought they would help. You don’t mind candles, do you?”

“I like some,” she said, reaching up to the cabinet where she’d put the wine glasses and brought two down. “Want a drink?”

When she turned around, Armin was already inspecting the bottle she’d had a glass of. His eyes flickered back up to hers, and he smiled.

“I see you’ve gotten a head start,” he said.

She carefully placed the glasses down on the table. “And what’s wrong with that?”

He paused for a moment. “Well, maybe I should catch up.”

Her eyes came up to his again. She felt like she could burst into flames underneath it – but only in the nicest of ways.

“Maybe you should,” she said.

Armin offered her a soft smile. “Do you want to sit on the couch? I can pour the wine.”

Annie hesitated for a moment, but she relented. “Yeah, okay.”

She was far too aware of his movements even after he was out of sight when she settled on the couch. The clink of the bottle against each glass, the soft pouring of liquid, a slight hum he let pass out of his lips when he had finished – it was all like pressure on her skin, gentle but demanding, a reminder that she was here and that they were really doing this.

Then came his footsteps, and soon he was sitting beside her, his knee pressed against hers, passing a glass of wine to her with a tender smile.

“Thanks for bringing this,” he said.

Annie let out a slight huff. “Well, you did ask.”

He smiled. “I’m guessing you didn’t drop any off at Eren and Mikasa’s?”

She scoffed. “No. I didn’t. I think it would have killed them.”

He let out a huff of laughter. “Eren wasn’t exactly in his best shape when we left last night.”

Annie recalled Eren and Mikasa’s horrible dancing in their living room the night before, where she and Armin had sat on their couch, maybe a little too close, watching the disaster unfold. And while Eren was worse, Mikasa had also been dancing on their coffee table.

She raised her glass to her lips. “They probably haven’t moved all day.”

He smiled. “It’s because they’re getting old.”

“Hey,” she said pointedly. “I’m older than them.”

His face split into a grin. “I know. You’re getting old, too.”

“I’m barely thirty,” she said. “That is not old.”

“No,” he said. “But it isn’t exactly nineteen, now, is it?”

She snorted. “No. But at least I don’t act like I’m nearly fifty.”

He laughed slightly. “Was that a dig at me?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

“Okay,” he said. “How do I act like that?”

“Being a college professor helps,” she said.

He nodded with a slight smile and hummed. “Okay. So it’s my job?”

“Not just your job,” she said. “Those stupid cardigans of yours don’t help. Not to mention you have a study – who the fuck has a study?”

He smiled a little. “College professors?”

“Old college professors.”

Armin let out a huff of laughter. “Okay, okay. I get it. But if you think I’m that old, maybe you should think about why you’re hanging out with someone like me.”

Annie paused for a moment. “Maybe I’m on the hunt for a sugar daddy.”

He nearly choked on his wine when he laughed. “Annie. I’m sorry to say you’ve come to the wrong place.”

She managed a smile. “That’s a shame. Can you put me in contact with some other professors at your college, then?”

He smiled. “Not a chance.”

Annie groaned. “But why?”

He shook his head and smiled. “I’d get jealous.”

She snorted. “Oh, come on.”

Armin finished his wine glass and set it on the table. He was still smiling when he glanced back at her – but his gaze differed from before. It sent a shiver down her spine.

“Sorry,” he said gently. “I’d want you all to myself.”

Her lips were parted, but no words came out.

She wanted to say something – but what could she say? The way he was looking at her now was making her heart race.

His face softened. “Are you alright?”

She cleared her throat and dropped his gaze. “Of course I am. Why are you asking that?”

Armin was quiet for a moment. “Well, you just seem … nervous.”

She managed to meet his eyes again. “And you aren’t?”

He didn’t look away. “A little,” he admitted. “But only because it’s you.”

She swallowed. “No.”

He raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly. “No?”

“No,” she said again. “You don’t get to be nervous. I’m the one out of my depth here.”

He let out a slight huff. “I’m out of my depth with you.”

She raised her chin. “Well, I’m out of my depth with all of it, plus you. So …”

Annie’s words trailed into silence, unsure how to finish her thought.

Armin’s voice was gentle. “I’m sorry, Annie.”

“It’s fine,” she said, taking another sip of her wine.

His gaze didn’t leave her. She wanted to squirm beneath it, even as she moved to place her glass back down on the table.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked.

She swallowed. “Yes. I told you.”

His hand was on her bare leg then, just above her knee – spread flat over the flesh of her thigh.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

Her heart seemed to be lodged in her throat then. His hand was warm, and he had never touched her there before.

“Annie?” he said.

“Hmm?”

“I need to hear you say it,” he said.

She swallowed. “Yes. I’m sure.”

His hand shifted then – the movement was slight, but she couldn’t miss it as she felt his fingers push slightly beneath the hem of her dress.

Her breath shuddered as he leaned closer, his head moving past hers so that his breath tickled her ear.

His voice was barely above a whisper. “What do you want me to do?”

She parted her lips again to speak, but her breath halted in her throat when she felt the gentle press of his lips on her neck. Feather-light and soft, once and then twice, and his kisses sent heat spreading downwards.

Her lips trembled. Fuck. What was she doing?

“Anything you want,” she whispered.

He paused. “Anything?”

She nodded slightly. “Just make it hurt. And make me like it.”

He let out a slight breath of laughter against her skin. “I don’t think that’ll be hard.”

She couldn’t help the way she shivered. It was harder not to completely melt beneath his touch when his hand came up to rest on the other side of her neck as his mouth pressed hard against the skin of her neck.

She gasped, and she felt his teeth bite down, and he sucked her flesh. That would definitely leave a mark. But screw it – it felt too good to tell him to stop.

Small noises slipped past her lips as he bit and sucked at her sensitive skin, but they were short-lived because, before she knew it, his mouth was on hers.

Annie had worried that this would be awkward, especially the kissing. Armin was her friend – she’d worried that this tension would be unavoidable, even if she was attracted to him. But his mouth moved against hers, hard and demanding, in a way that felt far too natural.

He bit down on her bottom lip nearly hard enough to draw blood, and she cried out as he pulled away only a moment before returning to her mouth with more gentle pressure, her lips aching far too nicely. She could drown in his kisses; maybe even then, that wouldn’t be enough.

When he pulled back, her breaths were coming out in short pants, and he even seemed affected. However, he managed to lean back more naturally than she was sure she’d manage. But his lips were darker and slightly swollen, and the sight of them made her tense in the nicest of ways.

His voice was low when he spoke. “Take your dress off.”

Annie was a little surprised at the authority in his voice, but she couldn’t ignore how it made her feel. So, wordlessly, she rose to her feet, reached for the dress’s hem, and pulled it over her head.

The movement was perhaps a little more awkward than she would have liked, but Armin didn’t comment on it. Instead, once she dropped it to the floor, his eyes were dark and hungry as they scanned every inch of her.

Then, he leaned back and said, “Come here.”

She stepped out of her heels, leaving them in the middle of the pile that was her dress, and moved towards him. She stopped before him, but that didn’t seem to be what he wanted, as he hadn’t moved forward.

“Closer,” he said, patting a hand on his thigh before moving it away.

Oh. There.

Slowly, she climbed onto his lap, placing her knees on either side of him. His hands glided up the sides of her thighs, stopping at the thin fabric of her thong at her hip. He slipped his thumbs beneath either side, glancing up at her.

“I didn’t tell you to wear this,” he said.

He hadn’t – he’d only mentioned the dress. She sat before him in black lingerie – a lacy thong with a simple butterfly-shaped design and a matching pattern on the bra, the curve being the top of the first set of wings and the lower set sewn below in the main fabric.

“I wanted to,” she said.

His eyes were dark. She gasped when she felt his fingers suddenly dig into the soft skin of her ass cheeks.

“You’re filthy,” he said quietly.

His words had a reaction she hadn’t reasonably expected; she could practically feel herself throb and had to bite down on her lips to stop any ridiculous noises from leaving her. He was making her a mess – since when could anyone do that?

Before she could think of something to say back, his hands moved up, gripping the fabric at her chest and pushing it downwards to rest beneath the dip of her breasts, leaving them practically bare before him. His fingers brushed over her nipples, soft and gentle, before changing his approach and squeezing them between his thumbs and forefingers roughly.

“Ah!” she cried, biting down on the inside of her lip again as he continued his ministrations.

His touch was deliberately hard, and he rolled her nipples between his fingers with such tremendous pressure she couldn’t stay quiet. It hurt – but what surprised her most was how much she liked it.

The pressure on her right breast disappeared, and she nearly made some noise of complaint. But she was relieved when his mouth came up to torture her instead because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to live down whatever had slipped past her mouth.

She gasped when his teeth bit down around her areola and sucked hard. He was pressing so firmly she was sure he’d leave teeth marks on her skin, deep and red, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. He popped off of her, leaving her nipple swollen and achingly hard, and moved his mouth over the softer flesh of her breast, leaving a trail of rough hickeys across her skin.

Annie had to bite down on her lip again when he swapped his hand and mouth around, assaulting her other breast with his teeth. She was far too aware of the way she was throbbing from just this and could feel the wetness pooling between her legs. She could only imagine how disgustingly wet she was, but she was too distracted to feel any shame about it.

She grew desperate enough that she even tried to press nearer to him and grind down on him to create a delicious friction between them. And, selfishly, it excited her to feel his hardness pressed against her. She tried one and failed, not pressed close enough to do much, and Armin continued his movements. But then, she tried again and got it just right – she ground down on his hardness and let out a small moan as he grunted against her.

She was about to do it again when he moved. Hands flew up to her hips, and his head pulled away from her, leaning back to look at her face.

“I didn’t say you could do that,” he said lowly.

Her heart jumped into her throat. There was a dark look in his eyes, even darker than before. She could quickly figure out what it was.

He wanted her, and he wanted her badly.

She felt an urge to apologise and go along with his act. But she couldn’t help that part of her that wanted to test his limits and see how far he would go if she pushed him.

So, she ignored the pressure of his hands on her hips and pressed against him again, grinding herself against his hardness constrained by his pants. She was thrilled by the tiny noise that came out of him when they made contact again.

“Did you not?” she asked, somewhat breathlessly.

Armin didn’t react, so she did it again, and he gasped. But her joy was short-lived because his fingers clamped on her hips, hard, keeping her in place.

“I didn’t,” he said firmly.

Her breath shuddered as she looked at him. She’d never thought Armin would have this side to him. Although right now, she couldn’t particularly say she was complaining.

“Bedroom,” he said lowly. “Now.”

This time, Annie decided not to push him any more and followed his orders. She climbed off him and went to his bedroom, where she’d only been once. She pushed the door open, not listening to hear how close his footsteps were behind her. He’d stripped the bed of everything save for a few pillows and the bedsheet, leaving it basically bare. Nice to see he’d prepared.

“Annie.”

She’d been standing in the doorway, staring at the bed long enough that Armin had appeared behind her. She momentarily felt his warm hands settle on her waist and let her eyes shut.

His breath against her ear sent a shiver through her. “Get on the bed.”

His grip fell away, and she didn’t look back at him until she reached the bed and settled down. Armin closed the distance quickly and fell to his knees at the edge of the bed before reaching forward to grip her thighs hard and yank her towards him.

A single finger ran over the thin fabric of her thong hiding her clit, and she cried out again. Then, his thumb quickly found that bundle, even with the material in the way, and pressed down hard.

“Fuck!” she said, hips jerking in the air.

The pressure vanished, but she whimpered when she felt his finger return, gently tracing over the fabric as soft as a caress.

“I can’t believe you wore this,” he said. “Did you want this so badly?”

She made a small noise when his fingers focused on the material right above her swollen clit, rubbing slowly but hard against her.

“Annie,” he said, pressing even harder, making her gasp. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” she managed.

His fingers stopped moving, but the pressure remained. “How much?”

She whined and did all she could not to grind against his fingers. “So fucking much. Fuck, please keep going.”

But his fingers didn’t move.

“Armin,” she groaned.

“Beg me,” he said.

“What?” she asked, tilting her head to look at him.

“Beg me to keep going,” he said firmly. “I want to hear it.”

Some of her thought that maybe she should be upset with how he talked to her. But there was no anger or frustration – just a pure want burning between her legs in a way she admittedly wasn’t entirely proud of.

She swallowed. “Armin, please.”

He smiled slightly. “You can do better than that.”

She huffed and nearly ground against his fingers for real this time, lifting her hips to try and get something – but his hand clamped on her thigh to hold her down.

“Behave,” he said.

She whined. “Armin, just … please keep going.”

“I will,” he said lowly, and his voice took on a sultriness that made her ache. “If you beg me like you mean it, like the good little slut you are, then I’ll keep going.”

Fuck.

Holy fuck.

It was good that she’d lost her sense of pride not long ago.

“Please,” she gasped. “I need you. I need you so fucking bad. Just –”

“No, Annie,” he said. “You don’t need me.”

She could have cried. “I really fucking do.”

“You don’t.”

Then, it clicked in her head exactly what he wanted to hear.

“I want you,” she said. “I want you to keep touching me and do whatever the fuck you want with me. Please.”

She could hear the smile in his voice and nearly gasped when his hand moved against her through the fabric. “Good.”

His thumb moved a harsh motion over her while his other hand pushed one of her legs to the side. Annie didn’t bother asking what he was doing, and anyway, she soon figured out when she felt his mouth, rough and hard, on the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. She made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a moan when she felt his teeth press into her, and the more he did it, still keeping that torturous pressure on her clit through the fabric, the more it took not to just collapse into a mess beneath him.

He pulled away abruptly, even with his hand, and she nearly whined at the loss of contact.

She raised her head, dazed and frustrated, to meet his intense gaze.

“Get on your front,” he said firmly.

Her abdomen fluttered. “My front?”

Armin nodded. “Now.”

She didn’t ask anything else and drew her legs back to turn over. Her breath caught when he appeared between her thighs again, this time out of sight, but his hands gripped onto her legs and pulled her closer to him.

Her breath shuddered when she felt his finger trace over the fabric of the thong, pressed between her cheeks and stopping before he had to push beneath her to reach her clit.

“I wish you could see yourself like this,” he said quietly. “You’re so fucking dirty.”

A twinge of pleasure sparked in her core, and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to stay quiet.

She was relieved when Armin didn’t wait for her to give any sort of answer, but her breath caught when his hands came down to grip her ass cheeks just a little too hard. It was more than bearable, but then she couldn’t manage to contain her gasp as she felt his tongue run down over the fabric of her thong, from her ass and close to her entrance, only blocked by the lacy black material.

Then, before she could think, she felt his hand come down on her ass cheek, hard.

“Fuck!” she gasped.

He did it again, this time while his mouth was pressed against her inner thigh, and she whimpered. His hands stayed on her for a few more moments, kneading the flesh of her ass cheeks while his mouth explored her thighs. Then, suddenly, he was gone.

Before she could even make a noise of complaint, he said, “Sit up.”

She heard him shuffle, and only then did she move, rolling over to pull herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Her eyes followed him, still fully clothed save for his socks and shoes, as he made his way to the green ottoman at the edge of the bed. She tried to ignore how her core trembled and clenched her hands into fists at her sides to stay calm.

Armin only pulled two things out – a blindfold and something else she didn’t quite get a good look at immediately. But what it was became apparent when he placed it on the bed.

A paddle.

It was made from black leather, and on the more circular end, deckled around the edges, were red hearts that made her want to laugh. Of course Armin would opt for a cuter option – even if he was using it to spank someone with.

Annie watched Armin’s hand wrap around the black blindfold, and her heart shuddered. His steps seemed so slow and carefully placed, enough to make her pulse quicken. Then, he settled down beside her and placed a hand on her jaw. The motion was so tender that she was momentarily surprised, even more so when he leaned forward and kissed her.

His lips were gentle for what felt like the first time that night, so much so that it took her a few moments to catch up and kiss him back. He made a noise against her lips, soft but demanding, and she let him caress her tongue with his, kissing him back with as much tenderness as he showed her.

It was over too soon, but his hand still rested on her cheek.

“Are you ready?” he asked quietly.

She swallowed. “I already told you.”

He smiled slightly. “Okay. I hadn’t realised you were so eager.”

Annie opened her mouth to retort something, but she was stopped by his hand pressing over her mouth.

“Quiet,” he said lowly. “I’m putting this on now.”

She knew what he was referring to but nodded when he dropped his hand. He raised the blindfold onto her head and pulled it down over her eyes – and then she was in complete darkness.

She nearly jumped at his touch, a slight pressure against her thigh. She’d known exactly where he was, but now, with her vision entirely blocked, the sensations were more unexpected, more exciting.

It was exactly what she’d hoped for.

His breath tingled the skin on her neck as he leaned closer. “I want you on my knee.”

Her insides trembled. “Do you mean …”

“On my lap,” he said, and she heard the bed shift as he leaned past her to reach for something. “So I can spank you the way I want.”

She felt awfully powerless. “Could you help? I can’t see shit.”

She heard his familiar huff of laughter, and it settled her racing heart, if only for a moment. “Of course. Here.”

She let him guide her into his lap until she was lying flat over him, her front and most of her legs settled on the bed with her hips settled down on his lap, her ass pointing up towards him. In this position, she was pressed so closely against him that she could feel his erection poking firmly against the fabric of his pants.

Her breath shuddered when she felt his hand fall on her behind, gentle and light.

“I think I like you more in this position,” he said playfully. “You don’t talk back.”

Annie huffed out a laugh and opened her mouth to prove to him that that was, in fact, not true – but then, his hand came down on her ass, hard, and she found she had nothing to say.

The sting hurt – it was a sharp clap that alone would probably leave her ass cheek red. But the ache was delicious, and she really, really wanted him to do it again.

Armin read her mind, and she gasped when his hand came down on her again. And again. And again until, much to her embarrassment, his next smack brought out a sharp, breathy moan.

“There it is,” he said quietly. “I knew you liked this.”

Annie hissed. “Fuck off.”

“Oh?” he said, bringing his hand down again. She whimpered. “I don’t really think you want me to. We haven’t even used the paddle yet.”

She made a very embarrassing noise when he spanked her again. Fuck, she was probably dripping on his pants.

His voice was low. “Do you want that?”

She didn’t say anything, but she cried out when his hand came down particularly hard.

Fuck.

“Annie,” he said. “Answer me.”

He spanked her again, and she gasped. “Fuck! Yes, I do.”

His voice made her tremble. “Good.”

Her breath caught when she felt the coolness of the paddle against her. He didn’t bring it down against her skin right away but trailed it over her in a teasing way. She bit her lips together to stop herself from groaning in frustration.

How the fuck had she gotten herself into this situation? And why the fuck did she like it so much?

But Armin didn’t give her a lot of time to think about it because then the paddle came down and smacked her with enough force to make her cry out.

“Better?” he asked.

He brought it down again, gentler this time, and she whimpered. “Yes.”

“I thought you’d say that,” he said lightly and brought the paddle down again against her flesh.

Annie’s fingers dug into the sheets beneath her fingers as Armin spanked her again. Holy shit. Each slap stung, but it was such a sweet pain that she barely wanted it to stop. And from how she was gasping and, much to her shame, moaning, Armin was more than aware that she was enjoying this, too.

“Holy fuck, Annie,” he said breathlessly. “You fucking love this. You’re dripping on me.”

Oh, fuck.

He’d just noticed.

He brought the paddle down against her ass again, and she whined.

“You’re a filthy fucking bitch,” he said. “You know that, right?”

Oh, God.

Oh fuck.

“Armin,” she gasped. “Fuck. Holy fuck.”

Then, suddenly, the paddle disappeared, and it was his hand against her again with a few harsh slaps that made her gasp again. But when his hand came down again, he didn’t do it with force. He squeezed her cheek, sore and red, and trailed his fingers down again, following the thin fabric of her thong.

“Raise your hips for me,” he said gently.

She adjusted and pushed herself up on her knees slightly. His fingers moved as soon as she was arched in place, pushing back the string of her thong and pushing through her folds.

She gasped into her arms.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You really were enjoying yourself, weren’t you? You’re soaking wet.”

Annie made a small noise into the sheets, but Armin wasn’t waiting for a response.

His voice was barely above a whisper now. “Spread yourself a little bit more for me.”

Annie spread her legs as much as she could in her position.

“Good girl,” he whispered.

She bit down hard on her bottom lip as he pressed his finger inside her. He fell into an easy rhythm, pumping into her wet heat with his pretty finger before he finally added another.

Annie moaned into the pillow as he picked up his speed slightly and fucked her with his fingers. After the pain, this sort of pleasure was intoxicating. It was hard to stay quiet now as he angled his fingers in just the right way to make her toes curl. But still, she wanted more. She wanted it harder and rougher – but most of all, she wanted him inside her, fucking her senseless.

His voice came to her before she could even think enough to speak. “You take being finger-fucked so well, Annie. You’re so much fun to play with.”

She let out a slight moan again as he continued his ministrations. He was fucking filthy. Why did everything he said make her ache for more?

“You’re a good little whore for me,” he breathed.

Annie whined. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, fuck.

“Armin,” she gasped. “Can you just fuck me already?”

His movements slowed. “Why so impatient?”

She whined at the lack of force, pushing back slightly against his fingers, hoping he would pick up his pace again. It turned out to be fruitless.

But then, there was a sudden jerking, a sharp pain on her scalp as Armin yanked her head back by her hair pinned at the back of her head, and she gasped.

“And anyway,” he said, deathly quiet. “I didn’t say you could speak right now.”

A thrill of pleasure ran through her.

Fuck.

Holy fuck.

Armin dropped her head and started moving inside her again. But then, suddenly, his pace increased as if out of nowhere.

She gasped as his fingers thrust into her, hard and fast, and it took all she had not to crumble beneath his movements. His force was delicious and everything she wanted, and each push made her more and more desperate for him.

She fisted her fingers in the sheets and whimpered, biting down hard on her lips to try and stay quiet. He kept fucking her with his fingers so hard that she was surprised, for a moment, that she hadn’t gone light-headed. His fingers were intoxicating, and she was near dizzy from the pleasure.

Her breath caught when he suddenly halted and slipped his fingers out of her. She was close to complaining because if he wasn’t going to fuck her, why on earth would he stop? But she got her answer when she felt him shift, his other hand moving down to press into her folds.

He shifted back, and then she felt two fingers hard against her lips.

“Open your mouth,” said Armin gently. “Taste yourself.”

Her stomach trembled. He wanted her to taste herself?

It certainly wasn’t the kinkiest thing he’d done to her tonight, but somehow, it felt disgustingly erotic to her. Annie’s breath shuddered, but she opened her mouth as he pressed his fingers past her lips. There was that faint taste of him, his skin, beneath it all, but it was overshadowed by the sweetness of her own wetness coating his fingers.

She wrapped her lips tightly around his fingers and sucked them clean until all that was left on them was her saliva.

He pulled his digits out. “How’d you taste?”

“Good,” she said weakly.

Armin hummed, and she gasped when she felt his other hand push into her folds again. It was only a moment, though, because then the pressure disappeared, and she heard the wet smacking of his lips, and she felt her core tremble. Was he …?

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “You taste really good.”

Armin adjusted, and suddenly, the blindfold was yanked from her face. The room was too bright now, and she winced beneath the glow.

A gasp left her lips when she felt his hand hit her ass again, but it was more from the shock – it was just a light spank, after all.

“Lie on your back for me,” said Armin. “On the bed.”

Annie was surprised she could even move. But somehow, she managed to crawl off his lap towards the top of the bed, collapsing her head into the pillows as Armin rose to his feet.

She watched him through half-closed eyes as he unbuttoned his shirt, shamelessly letting her gaze drift downwards to the firmness in his pants. She could practically make out his entire shape constrained against the fabric. It wasn’t like she’d expected him to be small, but he was definitely on the bigger side, and the longer she looked at him, the more she nearly drooled.

Embarrassment didn’t even cross her mind until Armin shrugged his shirt off his shoulders and let his hands rest on his belt – but they didn’t move.

“Did anyone ever teach you it isn’t very polite to stare?”

Her eyes drifted up his face, and that familiar, playful smile was on his lips. Somehow, the sight of it made her heart flutter.

“No,” she said finally.

His hands moved to undo his belt.

“It’s very rude,” he said pointedly.

“Well, then,” she said lowly. “I guess I’m just a rude woman.”

His lips curled like a devil. “If you aren’t careful, someone might punish you for that.”

She held his gaze. “We can only hope.”

He looked at her for a long moment before he moved, undoing his pants and pushing it down to his knees along with his briefs, finally giving his stiff cock some relief. Her mouth turned dry at the sight of it – it was a much nicer sight when it wasn’t hidden by fabric.

Armin stepped forward and pulled the first drawer of his nightstand out before fishing in and pulling out a condom. It took him only a few moments to roll it over his cock, and then he was on the bed at her feet.

His hands reached up and yanked at her thong, pulling it down her hips, and she shimmied to help him pull it over her feet. She expected him to toss it across the room, but instead, he moved forward, further up between her legs.

“I’m going to fuck you,” he said quietly. “Sound good to you?”

Annie nodded.

“Good,” he said. “I usually wouldn’t ask like that, but … well, I plan on having your mouth full.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed, but Armin raised his hand, presenting her thong. Her heart rate picked up.

Did he want to gag her with her thong?

She was almost ashamed that, to her, it was nearly as erotic as when he had made her taste herself on his fingers.

“Open your mouth,” he whispered.

Tentatively, she opened her mouth, and Armin pressed her thong past her lips. It acted as a surprisingly good gag, but the worst part was that she could taste herself on the soft fabric.

She was starting to think he was a mind reader – or perhaps he had done this routine enough to realise what she would be thinking.

“Can you taste yourself still?” he asked.

Annie nodded.

“Good,” he whispered, leaning forward to press a slight kiss against her earlobe. She shivered beneath him. “I know you like it.”

Holy shit.

Armin pulled away from her and positioned himself, pulled her down so that her ass was pressed firmly against his legs, her own feet over his shoulders. He didn’t waste a second and pushed his cock into her entrance, hilting himself fully inside of her.

She whimpered as he started picking up his rhythm immediately. He was holding onto her legs as he fucked into her, increasing his speed, biting down on his own bottom lip as he moved into her. It wasn’t long before his thrusts became hard as well as fast, and his hips slammed against hers with a bruising force.

Her moans were only muffled by that thong in her mouth, but her eyes were nearly burning from pleasure. He was moving in exactly the way she’d wanted, being as rough as she’d wanted him to be, and it was more than she could have fantasised about.

He kept up his rhythm for a bit longer as she choked on her moans, but then he slowed down, only a little, but noticeable enough that if she hadn’t been gagged, she might have just complained. But maybe that was the whole point of the gag. But then, he moved his hand in between her legs and pressed his thumb in circles around her clit, and she found herself suddenly very glad that she couldn’t complain.

It wasn’t long before that pressure started building inside of her again. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, Armin’s breathy pants and her own muffled moans.

She gripped down hard on the sheets by her side, holding on with a desperation she hadn’t quite experienced before as she grew closer and closer to her climax. His thrusts were perfect, the movement of his thumb on her was purely divine, and the noises she made were becoming purely desperate.

“Are you close?” he asked breathlessly.

Annie nodded frantically.

Armin’s slight smirk made her stomach drop. “Don’t come until I say you can.”

Annie groaned in frustration and shook her head.

“Be patient,” he said gently.

She tensed her legs and tried to control that overwhelming feeling building in her. She was oh so close and desperate to crumble over the edge, but she tried to hold on a little longer.

“Annie,” he said between pants. “Open your mouth.”

She parted her lips slightly, but when his other hand quickly moved towards her face, she caught on and opened her mouth wider. Armin reached two of his fingers inside her mouth, latched onto the string of her thong, and pulled it from her mouth, throwing it somewhere behind them on the floor.

“Okay,” he said, returning his hand to her thigh. “Do you want to come?”

She nodded.

“Use your words now,” he said breathlessly. “I want to hear you.”

She gasped. “Yes. I want to come.”

Armin groaned and tilted his head slightly before meeting her eyes again.

“Then come for me.”

Annie’s fingers somehow tangled even tighter in the sheets, and it only took a few more thrusts and a few more circles of her clit to push her over. She came hard, her whole body trembling as she cried out far too loudly, and the jerking of her body seemed to make him lose a little control, too. He let out a moan as she came, and it made her orgasm even sweeter, her body shuddering against his as she rode her high.

When she came down a few moments later, she could barely think. Armin moved to push her legs down to either side of him, gripping firmly down on her hips as he fucked into her. He only seemed to have a few thrusts left in him himself, and after a string of muffled moans, he cried out, her name on his lips as he came, shuddering hard against her.

His face was buried in her neck now after his hips had given their final twitches of his orgasm, and almost on instinct, she raised her hand to thread her fingers through his hair, stroking his head in comforting motions.

“Fuck,” he said breathlessly.

“Fuck,” she agreed.

They lay like that for a few moments more before Armin pulled away from her and rolled the condom off of his flaccid cock, placing it on the wrapper he’d left on the nightstand.

She finally had a chance to take him in the way he was now without any sort of domineering character. His chest was still rising and falling too fast, his face flushed.

Armin swallowed. “Was that okay for you?”

Her eyes widened. “Was it okay?”

His eyebrows drew together. “Was that a stupid question?”

For a moment, she almost thought he was just being stupid. But then, after a few seconds, she understood why he was looking at her like that.

He was worried.

“Armin,” she said gently. “That was fucking amazing.”

His face softened. “It was?”

“Was it not for you?” she asked. “I mean, I know you did most of the work, but –”

“It was wonderful,” he said softly. “I … holy fuck. It was really good.”

Annie let out a breath of laughter. “Yeah, it really was.”

Armin paused for a moment before he glanced back over at her. “Did you really like – all of it?”

Annie nodded.

“Really?” he asked. “Even the … uhm … the name-calling?”

“Surprisingly, yeah,” she said.

He nodded. “Good. I was worried you might not tell me if you didn’t …”

He trailed off, but she knew exactly what he was saying.

“I loved all of it,” she said. “I’d tell you if I didn’t.”

He nodded. Then, he added, tentatively, “Would you like to do more?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Right now?”

“No, I mean … just another time,” he said.

Annie paused for a minute. It was strange, she thought, how he could act the way he had in more heated moments, but now that it was over, he seemed almost nervous.

“How about next Saturday?” she asked.

His face almost lit up. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“And you can be even rougher,” she said. “I feel like you really could have fucked with me more than you did.”

“I didn’t want to push your limits,” he said.

“Well,” she said softly. “Push them next time.”

He nodded and smiled slightly. “Okay. I will.”

They sat looking at each other, perhaps for a little bit too long, before she dropped his gaze and cleared her throat. “Uh, well … I guess I’ll get cleaned up and head back to my place.”

Armin’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh. I thought you might want to … well …”

“What?” she asked. “Do you actually want to do more?”

“That wasn’t what I was gonna say,” he said. “I meant … there’s usually more of a … process to this.”

She raised an eyebrow. “A process?”

Armin looked a little awkward. “Yeah. There’s an after-care element.”

Annie snorted. “After-care?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s a lot to deal with. So, I wanted to … I don’t know. Take care of you.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You want to take care of me?”

Armin frowned. “Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty standard. And this is all new to you, too. So I thought I could run you a bath and cook you something, or …”

Her eyes narrowed. “Armin Arlert, is this a date?”

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Oh, don’t start.”

A smile rose to her mouth. “You’re making it sound like a date.”

“It’s not,” he said firmly. “It’s just … it’s something you do. I just … I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Well, don’t worry,” she said, sitting up. “I’m completely fine.”

But Armin was quiet.

His silence almost made her stop. She’d briefly read about it in her research, but Annie wasn’t sure how important of a role after-care would play for them. She wasn’t exactly coming to Armin in the hopes that he would treat her well – although that wasn’t really something she could say to him.

So, she turned to him and said gently, “I promise I’m okay tonight. But we can do that next time. Okay?”

His eyebrows rose. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I promise.”

Armin smiled slightly. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Annie snorted and rolled her eyes. “I’d expect nothing else.”

Armin’s smile widened slightly, and she couldn’t help but smile back. The moment went on, and then, she realised, it had gone on longer than it really should have, with the two of them staring at each other.

Annie broke her gaze away and cleared her throat. “Anyway, I should probably get going now.”

His smile softened. “Okay. I’ll book an Uber for you. You can shower if you want?”

She shook her head. “It’s fine. I’ll need to shower when I get home, anyway, since I’ll have to put my thong back on.”

“Oh,” said Armin with a nod. “Right.”

Annie smiled at him slightly. “Yeah. Right.”

He smiled back at her. It had that strange effect again, the one she couldn’t quite pinpoint – almost like her heart was fluttering in her chest. But she didn’t take the time to unpack it, so she pulled herself off Armin’s bed and headed to the bathroom.

Once she’d cleaned herself up a bit more and returned to the bedroom, Armin had already redressed. He had the decency to glance away from her now, although she wanted to tell him he didn’t have to; he’d already seen more than enough of her and would see even more next weekend. But the words never came to her lips, and she pulled her thong back on in silence.

The candles had burned low in the living room when she moved through to collect her dress and shoes, and only a moment later, Armin stepped into the room to blow them out.

He insisted on walking her down to her Uber, which she didn’t want to protest against. It was something he’d always done even though she was the one with the self-defence skills, not him. But still, she could never find it in herself to reject his kindness.

They were quiet for the whole elevator ride down, but when they stepped outside to try and figure out which car that was pulled up on the street was her Uber, Armin spoke up again.

“Is the same time okay for you next Saturday?”

She glanced over at him. He had that air of nervousness about him again, and she hoped her slight smile was comforting enough to wipe it away.

“Yeah,” she said. “That’s perfect.”

He smiled slightly and cleared his throat. “Okay, then. I’ll, uh … text you. If I don’t see you before then, I hope you have a good week.”

She smiled back at him. “You, too.”

He held his smile for a moment longer before he gestured to the car behind them. “I think that’s your ride, by the way.”

When Annie glanced behind her, it only took her a short once-over of the car to realise he was right.

“Yeah,” she said, turning back to him. “Well … I guess I’ll see you next Saturday.”

His smile was warmer than a fire. “I’ll see you then.”

She gave him one last smile before she turned away from him and climbed into her Uber. Armin was still standing on the street even after the car started pulling away.

Chapter Text

What surprised Annie most in the days that followed her rendezvous with Armin was how light her chest felt.

Before, a weight hung in her ribcage, unlike any she’d known her entire life. It was new; with the loss of Marcel came the appearance of this heaviness, like an anchor on her heart. It was fresh, and yet it had grown far too familiar. But now, even if it was momentarily, it seemed to be gone.

She hadn’t thought good sex could ease guilt, but hey – it seemed to be doing something.

Maybe it was the serotonin from a good orgasm, or perhaps it had just been companionship, but whatever it was, Annie was grateful she’d found it. For the first time in weeks, she wasn’t dreading seeing Pieck at work.

But when Annie flashed her a smile during their break, Pieck’s eyebrows immediately furrowed.

“Why are you smiling?” asked Pieck. “You never smile.”

Annie frowned. “That’s not true.”

“Not around me,” she said. “What’s got you in such a good mood?”

“I’m not in a good mood,” said Annie. “I’m just fine.”

“Just fine is still better than you’ve been in a while,” said Pieck pointedly.

Maybe the words should have riled her – and maybe they would have, on a different day. But it wasn’t a different day; today, her chest still felt awfully light.

Annie shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t have a bad weekend.”

Pieck’s eyes drifted away momentarily, but they didn’t leave her. They just drifted slightly lower before they darted back up, a smile sliding over her mouth.

“Does your good mood have anything to do with that kinky friend of yours?” said Pieck.

Annie’s eyebrows rose for a split second, but then she regained her composure. “Why would you ask that?”

Pieck hummed. “No reason. But you haven’t done a good job covering up that hickey on your neck.”

Annie’s stomach dropped, and her hand immediately flew to her neck. Was it really that visible? She was sure she’d done a decent job covering it up that morning.

“You’re using the wrong setting spray,” said Pieck lightly. “I have some in my bag if you want me to fix it up for you. And concealer, obviously.”

Annie dropped her hand. “Fine,” she said finally.

Pieck smiled. She was gone for a few moments, disappearing to her locker around the corner only to return with a small, yellow makeup bag, faux leather, and ugly. Still, Annie was glad for the sight of it.

“You’re lucky we’re about as pale as each other,” said Pieck as she settled back down at the table. “Tilt your head for me.”

Annie did as she was told. “This is mortifying,” she muttered.

“Mortifying? No, you’re a grown woman,” said Pieck. “You’re allowed to have a sex life.”

Annie’s eyebrows pinched together. “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel appropriate to be teaching self-defence classes with that on my neck.”

“Well, it wasn’t like you wanted to defend yourself from Armin,” said Pieck lightly.

Annie could feel heat rising to her face, but she didn’t say anything.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” asked Pieck.

Annie’s eyes closed, and she sighed. “Pieck, I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“I’m happy for you,” she said gently.

Annie paused. “You are?”

“Of course I am,” she said. “You seem a lot happier than usual. After everything that’s happened, you deserve some normalcy.”

Annie’s eyebrows pinched together, but she didn’t say anything. Did she really deserve normalcy after everything?

“But,” said Pieck, snapping her out of her thoughts. “I don’t care if he gives you a million hickeys – if you come into work covered in them, please just stop by the reception so I can cover you up.”

Annie snorted. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Pieck finally leaned back and smiled. “It’s no problem.”

Annie felt the urge to reach up and rub her fingers over the mark, almost as if she could rub away the mark Armin had left on her skin. Had it not made her look highly unprofessional, she wouldn’t have minded the mark at all. And she knew that she’d thoroughly enjoyed getting it – and she was no idiot. She’d known exactly what he was doing, but at the time, she hadn’t wanted him to stop. She doubted she would stop him next time, too.

“Can I look at that setting spray?” asked Annie.

Pieck smiled. “Sure. This is the concealer, too.”

Annie took some pictures of them, and Pieck told her she usually just ordered them from Amazon, which she also made a note of. If she and Armin were going to keep this up, she couldn’t come into work every week with her neck covered in love bites.

When she returned them to her, Pieck quietly slipped them into her makeup bag before zipping them up. Then, she cleared her throat and said, “There’s something I need to tell you, by the way.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “What is it?”

Pieck turned to her and gave her a small smile. “I’m engaged.”

There was a brief moment of peace before the words fully settled in. Then, like a tidal wave, it crashed into her, rushing through her chest and dragging that anchor around her heart down and down.

“You’re engaged?” she managed. “Where’s your ring?”

Pieck’s smile widened. “I didn’t want it to be a big thing at work. Also, I wanted to tell you before I started flashing it around.”

Annie felt like her heart was going to slip out of her body. If she had been pale before, she would surely look deathly white now.

Still, she swallowed and tried to make her face soften into a smile. “Well, that’s … great. When did he ask?”

“Saturday night,” said Pieck. “He’d planned to do it a while ago, but then Marcel died, and he wasn’t sure what to do. The two of them had picked out a ring months ago. He said he’d just been trying to muster the courage to do it. So, on Saturday … he finally did it.”

Now, Annie was sure her heart was close to just slipping out of her body. No, it felt as if it was churning in her stomach, and she could vomit it up at any moment.

“That’s great,” she said. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you,” said Pieck. Then, she added, “I’d like it if you came to the wedding.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Really?”

“You don’t have to be a part of the service or anything,” she said. “Just … it’d mean a lot to me if you were there. And I know it would mean a lot to Porco, too.”

That was a lie. The next time Porco would have wanted to see her would be at her funeral, not his wedding.

“You can even bring your boy toy as your plus-one,” said Pieck gently with a teasing smile.

Annie forced a smile. She hoped Pieck didn’t notice how it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Sure,” she said. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

Pieck smiled and said something else, but Annie barely heard it. When her face softened into concern, Annie excused herself and disappeared to the bathroom.

She wanted to splash her face with cold water to try and calm down, but she didn’t particularly want to risk the makeup running down her skin. That would have only made what she felt then too much – although it already felt like too much.

Annie knew she could breathe. She could feel the air moving in and out of her mouth. But her chest was tight, and it didn’t feel like it was doing much of anything. Her fingers gripped the counter as she squeezed her eyes shut tight, forcing herself to inhale deeply through her nose and then hard out of her mouth. She did it again and again, but her chest didn’t feel any less tight.

Engaged? And he’d postponed asking because Marcel died.

She felt bile rise to her throat, and she covered her mouth, but she managed to swallow it back down. It was unpleasant, but what was more unpleasant was that sickly feeling in her heart that she couldn’t shake.

She didn’t have time to shake it, either – she had her first class in two minutes.

Annie forced herself to breathe as evenly as possible. Her heartbeat started to slow, and her chest began to feel only a little less tense, but it was better than nothing. She only moved when she physically had to and not a second later.

Her classes were a distraction, but she tried to avoid Pieck during her break. It was easier than expected – then again, Pieck often didn’t seek her out when she wasn’t in the cafe by reception. When she finally finished for the day, she kept her head down as she passed by the reception again with her headphones in, just in case Pieck was still working her shift.

Her apartment had never seemed so far away. But then, at that moment, everything seemed far away. She felt in a haze, like she was watching each step she took through a film screen. But her feelings were hers, aching and tense in her chest, but with that same agonising distance that somehow made them feel even worse.

Engaged. They were getting married. And Porco’s brother couldn’t even be there.

The thought didn’t sting so much, but that was entirely because her heart felt a little numb. It stopped her from feeling so nauseous, at least, as her thoughts assaulted her relentlessly.

Engaged. On Saturday, too. When she had been fucking her guilt away.

Fuck, she was despicable.

Annie reached her apartment before she knew it. The only thing that snapped her out of her haze was the bubbling frustration when she fumbled with her key in the lock. Why did she have so many dumb keychains? They were also getting in the way.

Her keys slipped from her hands and dropped to the floor, and she spit out a curse between her teeth. She figured Hitch must be out or somewhere out of earshot in her apartment – this sort of noise usually drew her attention. But nothing came, and for once, Annie found herself almost upset that it didn’t.

Finally, she managed to wedge her key in the lock and shoved her door open. She pushed it closed hard behind her and dropped her keys on the table before collapsing into the closest chair.

She sighed and dropped her head in her hands for a long moment before she settled them down on her lap and leaned back in the chair. Home sweet home.

Her eyebrows furrowed, and she found herself leaning forward again and glancing at her hands. They were trembling.

Annie turned them over and squeezed her fingers tightly to make two fists, but it only stopped her shaking ever so slightly.

She glanced up at the apartment around her. Why was it always so goddamn quiet?

Annie practically jumped out of the chair and ran to her room. There was no chance she would stay in her apartment if she had a choice. She needed a distraction, and she needed one now. So she quickly changed into fresh gym clothes, pulling her favourite white hoodie over her head before grabbing her keys, phone, and earphones. Then, a moment later, she was on her way to the gym.

It was a lot easier to take her mind off of things when she was working out. She knew it wasn’t exactly the healthiest coping mechanism, but she figured it might have been better than wallowing at home and beating herself up. It was much more satisfying to beat up the punching bag, again and again, until her hands couldn’t take it anymore. That was definitely a big stress relief.

Her arms felt a little too strained to lift, and anyway, she preferred to do that when she came to the gym with Mikasa when she would have someone to spot her. So, she decided to turn to something simple and took herself on a treadmill. She pressed her earphones in and made sure the volume was loud when she shuffled some random rock playlist. The music was everything she wanted – harsh and biting, setting the hurt in her chest on fire. Then, finally, she ran.

She only stopped when she took note of how faint she actually felt. Then, she realised she hadn’t eaten anything since her lunch break.

Annie lowered the speed until she came to a halt. Her chest was heaving, and her head felt light.

“Fuck,” she breathed.

She stood there for a moment more, waiting for the ache in her chest to return once the distraction of exercise was gone – but it never did. The longer she waited, the more convinced it would come. In the end, she just felt disgustingly dehydrated and starving. At least that was a more bearable feeling than anything she’d been dealing with before that.

She tried to grab something from the vending machine downstairs before heading home. The last thing she needed was to pass out in the middle of the street; if anyone she knew found out about that, well, then it would be a lot harder to tell them that she was doing just fine.

Fine. Yeah. Because it was obvious she was doing great already.

She pulled her hood up before exiting the doors and beginning the trip home. She might have pushed herself harder than she should have – her thighs ached enough to remind her that her shift at work tomorrow was going to be a long one.

As she walked, it was hard to ignore the thoughts of Pieck’s news. Engaged. It was bound to happen, really, but a part of her hadn’t wanted to be around to hear about it. She liked Pieck, could even be forced to admit that she cared about her, but why oh why could she not have wanted to marry anyone else? Someone whose brother Annie hadn’t gotten killed?

At least for a few moments, the guilt, so consuming and crushing, was replaced by frustration. It was just her luck. It was also probably what she deserved after everything she’d done, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t let herself have a few selfish seconds of feeling bad about it. Or maybe even a few minutes or hours. It was undoubtedly less suffocating to be angry at Pieck for no good reason than herself for a very good one.

She was so lost in focusing her anger on Pieck that she nearly tripped right over the shoddy cardboard box on the corner. She felt her foot catch on something and stumbled backwards, managing to regain her balance quickly – thank you, martial arts – and her eyes narrowed on the source of her newest inconvenience. Then, her face softened.

She took a tentative step towards the box, only to see two tiny black balls of fur. They weren’t quite fresh out of the womb but weren’t very old, either. Her near tumble had clearly disturbed them, too, because one of them looked up at her with big yellow eyes and meowed in the most pathetic way she’d ever heard.

Her eyebrows drew together. She crouched down to examine them closer, but as she did, her eyes caught sight of smudged black Sharpie scrawled across the side of the box, simply stating FOR FREE.

She frowned and glanced up at the apartment building beside her. What jackass had just dumped two kittens on the street?

Annie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. The other kitten seemed more interested now and started meowing, and she opened her eyes again to see two pairs of big yellow eyes staring up at her.

Great. Now whatever jackass had dumped them had made it her problem – as if she didn’t have enough of them.

She sighed again, hoping the kittens could understand how much they were inconveniencing her, and tentatively wrapped her hands around the bottom of the box. Fortunately, at least at the bottom, it was firmer than it looked. Although, God knows how many hours they’d been on the street because the smell of cat piss was enough to burn her eyes.

If she found out what jackass had done this, she was definitely going to knock their lights out.

On the bright side, reeking of cat piss meant that people were fairly eager to stay out of her path, which made making her way back to her apartment much easier than she expected. The cats weren’t exactly being quiet by the time she reached her front door, and she half-expected the sound to cause Hitch to sprint out of her apartment to get a good look. But either she was out, or the stench of piss was enough to keep even Hitch at bay because the door never opened as she rummaged for her keys and kicked open the door to her own apartment.

She placed the box down on the table and immediately regretted it. Great. Now her table was going to smell like piss, too. She was suddenly delighted that she’d grabbed something from the vending machine before she’d left the gym because any appetite she’d had earlier had vanished.

Annie took a moment to wash her hands at the kitchen sink, although she still felt a little vile even after a heavy stream of hot water and soap bubbles. Then, with a sigh, she turned back to face the table.

She could hear the little thud of their feet on the box floor, making her heart ache. They were cute, she had to admit. She’d never had a pet before, so the noises were unfamiliar, but the more they meowed and stepped around, the more she was starting to understand the appeal. Then again, she wasn’t keeping them – she was just taking them in to ensure that no weirdo swept them off the street. She didn’t know a single goddamn thing about cats, but at least she had good intentions.

Wait – didn’t Mikasa want a cat, anyway?

Annie reached for her phone to dial Mikasa’s number. She’d surely want to take a look at one of them. She’d be getting a completely free cat – save for vet charges. But as she went to call her, she paused.

Didn’t Armin have a cat when he was younger? If something was wrong with them, he might know what it looked like. They seemed pretty healthy, but Annie knew nothing about animals, especially cats. She wouldn’t want to get Mikasa’s hopes up just to find out something was wrong with them, something terminal. Not to mention she would feel pretty shitty about gifting Mikasa a dying cat. She didn’t have enough friends to do something so rude.

It made sense, but still, she hesitated. It was late enough that he probably wasn’t working, but that didn’t stop her. She usually wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but the last time she’d seen him, he’d been fucking her lights out, so she wasn’t really how to go ahead with acting … normal.

She shook her head. She was being ridiculous. They were still friends. That was why this whole arrangement was supposed to work, anyway.

Armin picked up on the third ring.

“Hey?”

Annie wasn’t quite sure why, but the sound of his voice made her heart skip. Fuck. Where the hell had that come from?

“Hey,” she said, forcing her voice to sound normal. “Are you busy?”

“Uh, no, not really,” he said. “I was just gonna have dinner.”

“That sounds busy.”

“Not really. I can eat later. What’s up?”

Annie glanced towards the box. “Do you know anything about cats?”

“Cats?”

“Yeah.”

“More than you, I’m guessing.”

“Absolutely.” She let out a breath. “So, I kind of found two kittens on the street, and … well, Mikasa wanted one, right?”

“You found two kittens on the street?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Just abandoned in a box. They look healthy, but honestly, I’m not sure what a healthy cat looks like.”

“Okay.” A pause. “Do you want me to come look at them?”

It was like he was a mind reader. “I’d appreciate that.”

“Okay. I’ll pick up some food for them on the way. They are old enough to eat actual food, right?”

“Well, their eyes are open,” she said. “And they look pretty big.”

“Okay. I’ll pick some things up and be right over.”

“Thank you. And hurry up. My apartment smells like cat piss.”

He laughed. “You really know how to get a guy excited to come over.”

“I know. Just hurry. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.”

The call ended with a beep, and she sighed and placed the phone back on the counter. The cats were still moving and meowing.

Well, at least things weren’t so quiet with them around.

Annie had just enough time to tentatively give the kittens some water, one at a time, before briefly placing them back in the box while she took a hasty shower.

She wasn’t proud of how her heart quickened at the knock on the door. Annie took a breath. It was just Armin. And they weren’t even doing anything. Then again, now she wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse.

When she opened the door, she could barely see Armin’s face from how much stuff he was holding. She was pretty impressed that he’d managed to make it to her floor with all of it in his arms.

“Holy shit,” she said. “I thought you said you were getting some food.”

“I got some food,” he said. “And some other things.”

“Yeah,” she said, stepping out of the way. “You can say that again.”

Some of the things had been essentials. He’d gotten a litter box and shit ton of litter, and of course, some food. The huge scratching post that looked really expensive hadn’t seemed like a desperate necessity – or the toys or the little collars with bells. The bowls for food and water were helpful, but she didn’t exactly need them yet. She guessed the little red bed was a good idea, too, but again, was it a necessity? The worst thing he’d bought was the “calming diffuser” meant to calm cats down. Annie thought it was bullshit. She also thought that maybe she should have just asked Armin if he wanted the cats himself.

“God,” said Armin, wincing as he leaned towards the box. “That really does stink.”

“I wasn’t lying,” she said.

“You really weren’t,” he said. Then, he leaned forward and tentatively lifted one of the cats up.

Annie watched him as he looked at the tiny thing. She’d been so distracted by how much he’d been carrying that she’d barely paid attention to what he’d been wearing. He was wearing a beige cardigan, because of course he was, and a casual white T-shirt underneath, one that clung enough for her eyes to linger on his chest just a little too long. His jeans fit him nicely, too – dark brown and snug, and when he shifted a little, turning his back to her to see more of the kitten in the natural light, her eyes definitely lingered on his ass longer than they should have.

“I mean, this little guy looks fine,” he said. “No fleas or anything. Past that, though – I don’t really know anything internal. There’s no mange or worms, I think. I think they just need their shots. Well,” he said, raising the kitten with a smile. “This guy’s fine, anyway. I’ll check out the other.”

Armin tentatively lowered the kitten to the ground, and he meowed as he touched the floor. He looked a little lost for a moment before he started tottering towards Annie’s feet.

When he reached her, he sniffed her feet and rubbed his side against her leg.

Annie frowned. “I thought cats were supposed to be mean.”

Armin laughed. “They’re independent. Some are a little more stand-offish, but these seem nice-natured.”

Annie was starting to think that was true. At least she might not get scratched to death. Although she had to say, the little thing purring against her was cute enough that even she might not have been all that mad about it.

She bent down and gently picked him up. He meowed but didn’t fight and took it complacently, meeting her eyes with his big yellow ones.

She shook her head. “Who’d leave you?”

“Some people are assholes,” said Armin, turning to her with a smile. He was cradling the other kitten in his arms like she’d seen other people do with cats. “This one’s fine, too. She’s a little more fidgety, though.”

Annie glanced back at the kitten in her hands and then tentatively tried to adjust the cat in her arms. She was very aware of Armin’s eyes on her to the point that she was starting to worry that she was somehow managing to hold a cat wrong. But when she held the thing about the same way Armin held the cat in his arms, she let her shoulders relax. The kitten in her arm was more than fine with being there. It was no wonder they’d not tried to escape that stinking box.

She tentatively stroked his fur. It was very soft. Maybe they’d just been left outside for an hour or so. He practically purred in her arms, and her heart warmed.

“Looks like he likes you,” said Armin.

She glanced up to meet his warm smile.

Annie scoffed and glanced down at the cat in her arms. “I’d like anyone who got me out of a box that smelt that bad.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Fair point.” Then, he added, “I’m guessing you’re keeping him?”

“Huh?” she said, glancing up at him. “I can’t keep him. I don’t know anything about cats.”

“You don’t have to. I do,” he said.

Her eyes narrowed. “Then why don’t you have a cat?”

He shook his head. “I’m out too many hours.”

“I’m not exactly home a lot,” she said pointedly.

“Maybe you would be,” he said with a small smile, “if you had a cat.”

She rolled her eyes and glanced down at the cat. Shit. He really was cute.

She sighed. “I’ll … I’ll think about it. But you can’t leave them alone that long.”

“Doesn’t your neighbour work from home?” he asked. “Couldn’t she check in on him?”

Her eyebrows pinched together, and she looked down at the tiny kitten in her arms. “I guess. I’d have to ask. I’m not sure she’s home right now.”

“Give it a day,” he offered. “Mikasa would gladly take one of them, but two might be a handful.” Then, he added, “If you couldn’t handle one, though, I’m sure she’d rather have two than one of them going to a shelter.”

Annie looked back down at the bundle of fur in her arms. Her eyebrows furrowed.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Fine,” she said with a sigh. “I guess he is cute, anyway.”

Armin practically beamed. There was something about that face that just made her heart warm. How could someone like him ever look at her like that?

“If he rips up my couch, Mikasa’s getting him right away,” she warned.

His smile was soft. “I’d expect nothing else.” Then, he added, “Have you eaten yet?”

She frowned. “No. I was about to, but well … the cat piss sort of ruined my appetite.”

He scoffed, but he was smiling. “Wanna order takeout?”

“God, yeah,” said Annie. “I’ll get it considering you bought literally all of this shit.”

After they’d decided on Thai food, Armin graciously took out the Piss Box so that Annie’s apartment didn’t reek of the thing while she attempted to set up a litter box. She had no idea how to even train a cat to use it – when Armin came back upstairs and beelined to the kitchen sink to wash his hands, it was one of the first things she asked him.

It wasn’t long before they sat on the floor together, Armin playing with the kittens while Annie watched on. He was a natural with them.

“You really like cats, don’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, a smile on his lips. “I had one when I was a kid. Her name was Olive. She was such a big softie. I wanted one ever since I moved out, but … I don’t know. I just don’t want to leave them alone too much.”

Annie glanced between the cats and Armin.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “If I keep one … I mean … you’re always welcome to come over and … I don’t know. What do you even do with a cat? Hang out with it?”

He let out a huff of laughter through his nose. “Yeah,” he said, his soft gaze rising to meet hers. “I might take you up on that offer.”

The food arrived not long after, and as it turned out, the kittens were interested in what they had to offer. They didn’t seem all that skilled at jumping yet, so it temporarily kept their food safe from harm, but Annie knew it would only be a matter of time before the things practised enough to reach the tabletop.

Annie was a little surprised when Armin lingered afterwards, trying to explain as much as he could about caring for a cat without even being prompted. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate it. Of course she did, and his company wasn’t exactly unwanted, either. It was nice for that apartment to be filled with life for once. But she was sure he had an early class to teach in the morning, and yet here he was, helping her find the perfect position for the stupid scratching post.

“Armin,” she said abruptly, interrupting his spiel about how he’d seen other posts, but he thought this one might be the best. “Don’t you have an early class tomorrow?”

He stopped and sighed. “Yeah.” Then, he smiled slightly. “Is that your subtle way of asking me to leave?”

She shook her head. “No. You can stay here all night if you want. I just don’t want to be the reason you’re exhausted at work.”

“There’s worse reasons,” he said pointedly.

She arched an eyebrow. “Than explaining the logistics of a scratching post?”

The corners of his lips twitched. “Fair point.” Then, he sighed and said, “To be honest, I usually sleep like crap when I’ve got an early class. I just get an extra shot of espresso.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Always when you have early classes?”

He nodded. “Unfortunately. I don’t sleep great most of the time, anyway. Saturday night was probably the best night’s sleep I’ve had in years.”

Armin only realised the depth of what he’d said about a second after Annie did, by which point she’d already felt her mouth turn dry.

He caught her eye for only a second, a faint flush flaring across his cheeks, before he dipped his gaze away and awkwardly cleared his throat. “I mean. I don’t think it was necessarily –”

“Me too,” she said. “I slept like a log when I got home.”

Now, he met her gaze. “Really?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I really haven’t slept that well in a long time.”

He paused for a long moment before glancing away. It was only for a heartbeat or so, though, and then he turned back to her, a questioning gleam in his eyes.

“Would you like to stay over next time?” he asked gently.

“At your place?” she asked.

He nodded. “It saves you the trip, and … well, you’ll definitely get to sleep sooner.” Then, he added, “And, I thought, maybe … we could grab something to eat first? Maybe go to a nice restaurant or something, just so it’s less …”

“Less of a fuck-and-go situation?” she asked.

His lips twitched. “If you want to put it like that, then sure.” He sighed. “I just … I still want to be friends. So, I just thought if we actually hung out before, maybe it wouldn’t feel like such a … thing.”

Her lips curled. “A thing? What a compliment.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

She did know what he meant. Last time, it really had felt like a thing. It hadn’t really felt like she was going to see Armin at all. Not her friend, anyway. Maybe, then, they could actually make this whole fucking while being friends thing work.

“I’m fine with dinner,” she said. “I’m picking the place.”

He smiled. It was as soft as all of his other ones, but it did that thing again – her heart sort of warmed. What the fuck was that about?

“Fine by me,” he said.

Armin stayed a little longer, which was more than fine with her, but she convinced him to go when he started yawning. She was touched that he wanted to stay so long, and usually, she probably would have just let him crash in her bed, but now, now that things were really different between them, she knew that probably wouldn’t have been her wisest decision. She couldn’t end up screwing him out of their allotted time. That would definitely fuck things up.

Annie’s body instantly felt heavy when the door was shut behind him. She was grateful for the laminate floors, because the cats definitely weren’t quite litter-box-trained. At least she could clean it up easily and not have to worry about her landlord murdering her.

She put their little bed in her room and was surprised when they settled into it. She wasn’t sure how long they would stay there during the night, but for now, when her eyelids were growing heavy, they were comfortable on their little bed. Safe and warm.

She sighed as she closed her eyes. At least she’d managed one good deed for once. With that on her mind, sleep came a lot easier than normal.

Waking up didn’t come so easily, though. Her phone was buzzing on her nightstand, her usual grating alarm, and she groaned. Groggily, she reached out to quickly swipe it off, but just as her hand rested on the phone, she realised something.

There was no sound. It wasn’t her alarm at all. Her phone was ringing.

She forced her eyes open. Who the fuck was calling at this time?

Annie didn’t bother to look at the number. There were few people she’d happily answer a call from this early, and she was very happy with telling whoever it was to fuck off. She’d maybe forgive Mikasa for calling, but only if it was because Armin had told her about the cat. However, apart from that, she wouldn’t be able to be so kind.

She didn’t bother with politeness. When she accepted the call, she quickly pressed the phone to her face and said, “What do you want?”

“Hey.”

Annie’s heart sank. That voice. She hadn’t heard that voice since Marcel’s funeral. And hearing it now was enough to make her stomach churn.

“Bertholdt,” she said – but she couldn’t say anything more.

Chapter Text

“How are you?” asked Bertholdt.

Annie swallowed, but it did nothing to the lump in her throat. It was as heavy as a weight, and she felt like she might choke on it.

“Annie?” he asked. “Are you there?”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, sorry. I’m here. I’m fine.”

Bertholdt was quiet. But then again, he always was – and since Marcel died, he had gotten quieter than ever. Although, it wasn’t like she’d reached out to him since then. The only reason she still talked to anyone in her life now is because they all seemed to keep forcing their way back in.

Bertholdt didn’t make such an effort.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

She sighed. “Why are you asking?”

“Because I care,” he said. Then, after a beat, he added, “And you don’t sound fine.”

“I just woke up,” she said. “You wouldn’t sound great, either.”

Bertholdt let out a huff of laughter. “Okay, okay.”

Annie was quiet for a long time, and so was he. It wasn’t long before the silence became almost agonising – she could feel it grating against her skin.

When the quiet became too much, she forced herself to say, “How are you?”

“Me?” he said. “Oh, well. I’m hanging in there, I guess.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah,” he said. Then, he sighed. “Annie … I’m sorry.”

Her heart sank. “You’re sorry?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know … I know I haven’t really kept in touch.”

“It’s fine,” she said immediately.

Because it was fine. Marcel had been his friend, too. Had she been in his position, she probably wouldn’t have wanted to talk to her, either. It wasn’t something she could judge him for, so she wasn’t going to, even if it did hurt.

“No, it’s … it’s not,” said Bertholdt. “I heard from Reiner, and I just … I didn’t think you were doing too great.”

Annie grimaced. “Oh. Okay.”

“What?”

“Reiner asked you to call, didn’t he?” asked Annie.

“What? No, he didn’t,” said Bertholdt. “I just thought … well, I thought it was about time I stopped being such a shitty friend.”

“You aren’t a shitty friend,” she said.

She didn’t add what she wanted to – that she was the shitty friend. She didn’t have to say it. Even though it was true, Bertholdt would have denied it, and the conversation would have devolved into an unwanted pity party. She pitied herself enough without other people doing it.

“I have been, for the past month, at least,” he said. He sighed again. “So … I guess … this is me trying.”

Annie didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, after another second, she managed to say, “Well … thanks.”

“Yeah.” Bertholdt cleared his throat. “Well … I just wanted to let you know I’m working in the city again.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. At my dad’s flower shop.”

“Hoover’s?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“I thought you didn’t give a shit about flowers.”

She could practically hear him shrug. “Well, I didn’t. Turns out, I don’t mind working with them.” Then, he added, “It’s better than my old job.”

Last Annie had heard, he’d been working in insurance – florist was a bit of a change from that, but she didn’t want to ask more about it. Not only did she hate flowers, but she was confident the change had come about because of Marcel’s passing.

She snorted. “Well, that wouldn’t be hard.”

He let out an awkward laugh.“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat again. “Well … I was just telling you because you can drop in whenever and … I don’t know. Maybe we could talk?”

Her stomach dropped. Her lips parted, and it took everything she had to stop herself from saying, About what?

But she made herself bite her tongue. She knew exactly what – but that didn’t mean she wanted to discuss it.

“Okay,” she said. “Well … I’m busy the rest of the week.”

“Next week, then?” he asked. “I’m basically full-time.”

“Didn’t realise flowers needed so much attention.”

He laughed. “Yeah, well … you’d be surprised.” After a pause, he added, “Just … drop in when you can, okay? It’d be nice to see you again.”

She bit her lip hard, almost as if the sting would take away the ache that had started burning in her chest.

“Fine,” she said finally. “I can drop by.”

Bertholdt sighed. “Okay. Thank you.”

“No problem.” A pause. “I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “I’ll see you.”

“Okay,” she said. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

Annie hung up quickly so Bertholdt couldn’t find another way to drag out the conversation. Then, she dropped back down on her bed with a heavy sigh.

What a fucking way to start the day.

At least she had things to do. Two kittens needed to be fed, and she needed to call Mikasa as soon as possible.

The kittens were distracting. Their little meows as they tottered around the room eased that ache in her chest, and the mere sight of them almost brought a smile to her face.

Then, when she remembered that she had to go and see Hitch, she frowned. She should have bothered her the night before, but she guessed she had no option but to do it now.

She picked up both of the kittens and carried them in her arms as she approached Hitch’s door. It was a lot easier than she expected. One of them was fidgety like Armin had said, but the boy was so docile that it was no wonder he’d been sitting in that stupid box for so long. She managed to keep them clutched on one arm as she knocked heavily on her door.

Hitch emerged a few moments later wearing fluffy pink slippers and matching shorts, with maybe the ugliest pink T-shirt Annie had ever seen. It had an image of Sonic the Hedgehog on it, alongside a garish block of text:

I’M NOT A PLAYER

I’M A GAMER

PLAYERS GET CHICKS

I GET BULLIED AT SCHOOL

Hitch yawned, pushing a cow-print eyemask further up her head. “What are you doing knocking so early?”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “What the fuck is on your shirt?”

Hitch blinked. “Sonic. Do you not know who Sonic is?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Of course I know who Sonic – oh, it doesn’t fucking matter. Do you like cats?”

“Cats? I love cats,” she said. “Why are you asking?”

“Hitch,” said Annie flatly. “Look at my arm.”

Hitch glanced down, finally noticing that the black bundles of fur in her arms were not built into her black hoody’s design.

Hitch gasped, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. “Oh my God. When did you get kittens?”

“Found them on the street yesterday,” she said. “Are you working from home today?”

“Yeah,” she said, lowering her hands.

“Think you could watch them while I’m at work?” she said. “I don’t want to leave them alone.”

“You want me to watch them?”

“Yeah,” said Annie. “If you don’t mind.”

“If I don’t mind?” asked Hitch. “You’re shitting me, right?”

“No,” said Annie. “I’m not.”

“It would be a pleasure,” she said.

Annie sighed. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” said Hitch. “What are their names, anyway?”

“Haven’t decided,” said Annie. “The girl’s not mine, anyways.”

Hitch’s eyes lit up. “Can I name him?”

“No,” she said.

“Please?”

Annie sighed again. “You can suggest a name. If I hate it, I’m not calling him that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she said, reaching for the kittens. “I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Carefully, she transferred the kittens to Hitch’s hands and reached into the front pocket of her hoodie to pull out her key.

“Here,” she said, holding her key out towards her. “Everything you’ll need is in my apartment.”

Hitch’s eyebrows furrowed. “You’re trusting me with your spare key?”

Annie shrugged. “I don’t have anything worth stealing. Trust me.”

Hitch glanced down at her key for a long time before she shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Hitch turned around and stepped into her apartment before dropping the kittens on the ground and quickly returning to the doorway. She swiped the key from Annie’s hand in an instant.

“Thanks,” she said. “They’re not litter-trained yet, so … I hope that’s not a problem.”

“As long as you’ve got a litter box,” she said, “it’s fine.”

Annie only took a few more moments to explain where everything was in her apartment, but Hitch quickly waved her off so that she could start getting ready for work. She needed the extra time, anyway – one of the kittens had pissed on the floor while she was sleeping, and she would gladly have been late for work to get rid of that before it thoroughly seeped into the floorboards (if it hadn’t already).

In the end, although Hitch let her go quickly, she was still a little late. That was fine – it gave her a great excuse to avoid seeing Pieck at the reception. She knew it was petty, or maybe even pathetic, but she didn’t particularly want to face her quite yet. It had taken her a few weeks to look at Pieck without feeling so guilty, but news of her engagement had brought back that tension.

Annie’s day went on as always, although her conversation with Bertholdt was still in her mind. It shouldn’t have been. They hadn’t talked for weeks – she didn’t owe him a visit, and she especially didn’t at his dad’s fucking flower shop. No. She didn’t owe him shit.

But still … she couldn’t quite shake that feeling of guilt scratching at her throughout the day. It made the idea of running into Pieck seem significantly less terrifying.

That being said, she ensured she was on the phone before passing the reception on her way out so the most she had to offer was a rushed wave. Mikasa’s phone rang and rang as she passed the reception, before she finally picked up.

“Hey,” said Mikasa. “What’s up?”

“Hey,” said Annie, stepping into the cool air outside. “Do you still want a cat?”

“A cat?” asked Mikasa.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, yeah,” she said. “But you asked that like you’ve got a spare.”

“I do have a spare,” she said.

There was a pause. “Excuse me?”

“I found these kittens yesterday,” said Annie as she walked. “Just out on the street, two of them. They need to go to a vet’s, but if they’re clean, one of them’s all yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” said Annie. “Are you busy right now? I just got off work.”

“I mean, I was on my way home, but I can head to your place now.”

“That’d be great,” said Annie.

“Okay. I’ll be there ASAP.”

“Okay. See you later.”

“See you.”

Annie arrived at her apartment about five minutes before Mikasa did, giving her enough time to take the kittens from Hitch’s apartment – who had a wonderful time with them all day – and bring them back into her own. Ideally, she probably would have liked to shower first, but just as she debated hopping in to freshen up, there was a loud knock at the door.

Mikasa was wearing a whole suit, with a grey blazer and matching pencil skirt. Annie thought it was a good thing, at least, that she wasn’t wearing heels – she was already much taller than her, but when she wore heels, and Annie was only in sneakers, she felt as if she had to crane her neck just to look her in the eye.

“Hey,” said Mikasa, stepping inside. “So where’s the –”

She cut herself off as her eyes landed on the two little kittens tottering around the floor, her words slipping into a gasp.

“Oh my God,” said Mikasa, crouching down. “They’re so small.”

“Yeah,” said Annie as she shut the door. “I’m not sure how old they are, but they’re pretty young.”

“Oh my God,” whispered Mikasa. “Oh, come here, baby.”

Mikasa put her hands out to the closest kitten, the girl, who quickly tottered towards her, meowing her head off.

“Oh, look at her,” said Mikasa, her voice full of wonder.

“You like her?”

“Like her?” said Mikasa. “Annie, she’s so pretty. I really wanted a black cat.”

Annie did her best to hold back her snort. Of course she wanted a black cat. Then again, she couldn’t imagine her with a ginger tabby cat.

“I don’t think they have their shots or anything,” said Annie. “So, we’ll have to go to the vet’s. That’s if you want her.”

“Annie,” said Mikasa. “What kind of question is that? Of course I want her.”

Annie’s shoulders relaxed. “Okay, good. I didn’t think I could manage two cats.”

Mikasa rubbed her hand gently over the girl’s fur, and her eyes flickered to the other kitten lying on the floor.

“Are you keeping that one?” asked Mikasa.

“Yeah,” said Annie. “Why? Do you want him, too?”

“I think one’s more than enough,” said Mikasa. “But that’s good. I think you could really like cats.”

Annie snorted. “Well, we’ll find out if that’s true soon enough.”

Mikasa rose to her feet, the little cat in her hands, and turned to Annie with a smile. “Wanna take them to the vet’s? I’m just parked outside.”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “You got parked outside?”

The parking situation by her apartment was so dire that it was one of the reasons she never got another car. Well, at least, that’s what she told herself, anyway.

“Just about,” said Mikasa. “Come on. The sooner, the better.”

That was more than fine with Annie. She bent down and scooped up the other kitten, who meowed in protest at being disturbed but didn’t put up much of a fight otherwise. Then, she collected her phone, wallet, and keys, and they made their way down to Mikasa’s car.

It was a short drive, but the traffic was murder, so it took them much longer than usual. The only good thing to come out of the situation was that the kittens managed to not piss in the car. Mikasa had insisted it would have been okay because she had leather seats, but Annie thought it was easy for her to say when she wasn’t the one sitting with the bastards in her lap.

Thankfully, the vet itself wasn’t that busy, and they got to see the on-call vet right away. She guessed the kittens were about ten weeks old and, after further inspection, decided they were perfectly healthy. There were some tests she wanted to run, so they had to leave their details at the desk; they’d also have to come back to get them microchipped and spayed (not at the same time). However, they were able to get some shots in that session, which at least was one less thing to worry about. The price was enough to wince at, but Annie was sure the vet could have named any number, and Mikasa would have paid. Annie just would have felt pressured to do so as well, what with Mikasa standing there and all.

“What are their names?” asked the vet.

“Oh,” said Mikasa. “We haven’t quite picked those out yet.”

“Ah,” said the vet. “Well, we need to put down a name on the records to book future appointments. So, you’ll have to pick one.”

Annie looked at the small guy, still so relaxed even on the vet’s table. She tried to think of something, anything, and just said, “Brie.”

“Like the cheese?” asked Mikasa.

“…Yes.”

“That’s perfect,” said Mikasa, as if Annie had just discovered fire. “Put down Camembert for this one.”

*

“So,” said Mikasa as they headed back to her car. “Do you want to come over so the cats can hang out?”

Annie snorted. “I’d love to, but I’m pretty exhausted. Another time?”

“You bet,” said Mikasa. “They’re best friends, so they need to hang out.”

Annie wasn’t sure she liked the person the cat was already turning Mikasa into, but she decided not to burst her bubble and just nodded along.

Mikasa gave Annie a ride back to her apartment and, surprisingly, didn’t manage to get parked in front of her building, so Annie basically had to jump out of the car, cat in hand, while about three cars honked at Mikasa as she sped away. Annie didn’t miss driving, but she did sometimes find herself missing being the one in control at the wheel – Mikasa wasn’t a bad driver, but Annie made a deliberate effort to ignore the yelling from the cars that just honked at her as she strode into her apartment building.

Her apartment was quiet as ever, in that loud, ever-present way. But when she dropped little Brie on the floor, he immediately meowed, before clumsily scurrying across the ground, and the pitter-patter of his little paws eased her nerves.

“You’ll make a great roommate,” said Annie, before wincing – he’d just peed on the floor. “Once you learn how to not piss yourself.”

Annie quickly cleaned up after him and searched online on how to litter-box train a kitten; and, after making sure the both of them had their dinner, she started to run herself a bath. It had been a long day, and she had an early class tomorrow, so she wanted to unwind as soon as possible.

She sent Hitch a text as the water filled.

ME

Mind cat-sitting tomorrow?

HITCH DREYSE

You say that like it’s a punishment

Please bring him over

I have a name

ME

He has a name

Had to give him one for the veterinary records

It’s Brie

HITCH DREYSE

Like from Desperate Housewives? Awesome

ME

Like the cheese

HITCH DREYSE

I’m going to pretend it’s because of Desperate Housewives

Annie had never seen Desperate Housewives, but she was in no rush to tell Hitch that in case she suggested watching Desperate Housewives together (Annie could only imagine how many seasons it must have). Instead, she put her phone down and turned to her cabinet, pulling out a wine glass and a full bottle of Shiraz. With any luck, this would put her out for the night quickly.

Against her better wishes, she left the bathroom door open with the litter box out on the other side and the small red bed Armin had brought over on the floor for Brie to sleep on. He seemed distressed not being able to see her, so Annie couldn’t wash her hair for a while. He was a bit more on edge now, but he had just been separated from his sister; she assumed, or hoped, he’d go back to being as docile as he first seemed. It was fine, anyway; she just sat up and sipped her wine, making sure she was in Brie’s sight. He eventually calmed down and, in spite of herself, she smiled when his meows became intermittent and random, almost as if he wasn’t distressed at all, but more that he just enjoyed making noise.

“You’ve got a lot to say, don’t you?” she said dryly.

Brie meowed in answer.

Eventually, Brie’s meowing must have tired him out, because it wasn’t long before he was fast asleep on the floor. The bathroom was so quiet that she could hear his little snores, tiny and soft. Mikasa, as it turned out, had the chance to be right – maybe she would like cats.

The peace was shattered when she pushed her head under the water and, without meaning to, was reminded of Bertholdt. Being underwater is silent and screaming loud all at the same time; it sounded like the ocean and nothing at all, and in it, Annie was left with nothing but her thoughts.

Why did he want to reach out now? It had been weeks. She knew it would be hard for him to be around her, but if that was the case, fuck, she didn’t want him to be around her. It was hard enough to be around her herself, never mind being around someone else who had a hard time doing so.

Maybe he wanted his say, too. Maybe he deserved it – it was a surprise Reiner hadn’t had his say, either. They were well within their right to tear her head off. To his credit, it didn’t really seem like Reiner had any intention of doing so, which was a relief, but that didn’t mean she didn’t deserve it. She deserved that and so much worse.

She burst out of the water and wiped her eyes. Had she been crying, or was that just the bath water in her eyes? She swallowed, her throat tight, and decided it didn’t matter. She reached for her glass and drained it, before placing it back down on the side of the bath. She’d only had one glass.

On the floor, Brie stretched, making a small noise of complaint in his sleep, before he sighed and settled down again.

Her eyebrows furrowed. Carefully, she reached for the wine bottle on the floor and poured herself one more glass. She’d make that her last – one was usually enough to calm her nerves, but that clearly wasn’t the case right now, so two would do. There was no need to overdo it with the full bottle; she could finish it off another night.

She made quick work of her hair, and then it didn’t take too much longer to wash the rest of herself. When she stepped out of the bath, it disturbed Brie, who meowed a complaint and was up on his feet again. She almost felt bad for disturbing him, but her hands and feet were pruned and it’d probably do her some good to get a good night’s sleep.

But as she dried herself off, she was interrupted by a short, distant thudding.

She sighed and grabbed her dressing gown, quickly wrapping it around herself and making her way to the door.

When she opened it, there was Armin – he was wearing a blue cardigan and a warm smile, and holding a bag of … something.

“Hey,” he said, his voice gentle as ever. “Sorry, were you in the shower?”

She shook her head. “I just got out of the bath.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s up?”

“Well,” he sighed. “Eren was at work, so Mikasa called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the pet store with her … she overbought and said she’d just give the rest to you, so … here I am with the rest.”

Annie wanted to ask why Mikasa hadn’t given them herself; she was sure Brie could survive without a surplus of toys. Or, more aptly, she was wondering if Mikasa had sent him here. But the question didn’t come to her lips.

She stepped aside. “Come in, then.”

Armin made his way to her kitchen table to unpack his haul and apologised for showing up so late.

“You don’t have to apologise,” she said, folding her arms. “I don’t get too many visitors.”

“I know, but you’re at work tomorrow,” he said.

She shrugged and didn’t say anything. At least, she didn’t until a flash of pink caught her eye. “What’s that?”

“Oh,” he said, turning to her with a smile. “Mikasa said you’d really like it.”

It was a large, bright pink mug with CAT MOM plastered across it.

Annie grimaced. “Wow.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I knew you’d hate it.”

She sighed. “Mikasa means well.”

“I think she’s just excited,” he said. “She loves cats.”

“I got that impression,” she said. “Did she tell you what she named hers?”

“Camembert,” he said. “God, I’d love to be in the room when she tells Eren that.”

Her lips twitched. “As long as I don’t get the blame.”

“I feel like Brie is significantly less offensive than Camembert,” he said. “That’s his name, right?”

She nodded and then came the loud meowing of Brie, almost as if he knew they were talking about him.

Armin smiled. “He’s talkative.”

“You wouldn’t believe,” she said. “He’s sweet, though. When he isn’t pissing on the floor.”

“I think you could say that about a lot of guys,” he said, and Annie let out a laugh.

Everything else Armin left on the table was just toys – she was glad to see there were no repeats of what Armin had already got her. Maybe she should have given Mikasa Brie, or even Armin. Maybe they would have been better suited to have him. But, if she was honest with herself, and she wouldn’t be with anyone else, she was growing a bit attached to the little thing.

Armin turned away from the table and pushed up his sleeves, and it stopped her thoughts for a second. She remembered those arms above her, guiding her, as he fucked her. She flushed; she shouldn’t be thinking like that right now.

“Annie,” said Armin.

Her attention came back to him. His expression looked awkward, almost as if he was trying to avoid looking at her. Had she said any of that out loud?

“Your dressing gown,” he said. “It’s, um … open.”

She glanced down at herself and saw that, yes, he was right, and she was basically flashing him. She quickly tied it around her body, feeling her face burn.

“Sorry,” she said, looking away from him.

“It’s fine,” he said.

She crossed her arms over her chest and just about managed to look him in the eye. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

She was delighted in the heat that crept up his neck. She knew how to deal with this Armin; sweet and blushing. It was a strange dynamic, she thought. Armin could be flirtatious and confident outside of his red room, as she’d come to think of it, but he could still easily be flustered, and she wasn’t so proud she couldn’t admit that she enjoyed doing it.

He cleared his throat and met her gaze, offering her a weak smile. “Fair point.”

In fact, she enjoyed it so much in that moment that she wanted to do something about it. It wasn’t their scheduled time, he didn’t have any of his toys, but for a second, she considered just dropping her gown to the floor and asking him to have his way with her. Would he say no?

Brie meowed again, snapping her out of her thoughts. Armin kneeled down and offered his hand to him, and Brie scurried over and pressed himself against Armin’s hand.

He smiled up at her. “Talkative, friendly …”

She grimaced. “I feel I can tell where you’re going with this joke.”

He grinned. “You’re quite opposites, aren’t you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Bingo.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he said. His face softened. “How are you doing, anyway?”

The heat in her seemed to evaporate then, and it was replaced by that ache she’d been trying to ignore. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah?” He said it casually, but she knew Armin. There was more in that word, more that he wanted to hear.

“I think so,” she said. Then, after a heartbeat, she decided to relent. “Bertholdt called.”

Armin stopped. “Bertholdt?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

Armin rose to his feet, and Brie meowed in complaint before he bent back down and scooped him up into his arms. Brie stopped complaining with a constant stream of strokes. She briefly wondered if he’d always be this friendly or if he’d grow out of it, the way children often do.

“What did he want?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” he asked.

“He just wanted to talk,” she said. “He apologised for not keeping in touch.”

Armin’s eyebrows furrowed. “Was that all?”

“He said I should come and see him,” she said. “He’s working in the city, at his dad’s flower shop.”

“Wasn’t he in insurance?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Maybe he felt bad after …”

Bertholdt had worked in health insurance, and Marcel’s coverage had given his family a world full of trouble – they disputed covering the ambulance and any emergency care, which had all been fruitless in the end. She could only imagine that had been the final straw to make him leave. She’d never really asked him about it, but he hadn’t seemed to mind having anyone else’s blood on his hands. Not that she was really one to talk.

“Maybe,” he said. “Well … what did you say?”

“That I would.”

“Do you want to?”

“Fuck no,” she said. “But I feel like I have to.”

“You don’t have to do anything, Annie,” he said gently.

“Not true,” she said. “I don’t know if I can avoid him forever.”

It was easier to avoid him when he was avoiding her and place the entire blame there. But she supposed that wasn’t fair. Then again, there wasn’t really a part of the situation that was fair.

“If it’s what you want to do, sure,” said Armin. “But you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.”

She sighed. “I think I should. I don’t know. I never have to see him again afterwards, so … there’s that.”

After a moment, Armin said, “I guess you’re right.” Then, he added, “If he’s called you now, to be honest, Annie, I don’t think it’ll be anything bad.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” said Annie.

“Well, I’m not certain,” he said. “But he’s still your friend. I doubt he’d invite you into his dad’s shop just to be rude to you.”

More surprising things have happened, she wanted to say, but she decided to bite her tongue on this occasion.

“I wouldn’t worry about –” Armin stopped and grimaced.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said after a moment, before putting Brie down on the floor. “He didn’t piss on the floor this time.”

Annie noticed the wet patch which managed to cover both his T-shirt and his cardigan, and bit her lips together to stop herself from laughing.

“I’m very sorry,” she said. “I’m just about to start litter-box training him.”

“That’s … fine,” he said, unsure what to do. “Um. You don’t happen to have anything to change into?”

Annie helped him pull his cardigan and T-shirt over his head, making sure to keep as much cat piss off of him as possible before he disappeared into her bathroom to clean off any residue on his skin. Brie had the nerve to meow at her as she went into her bedroom to grab a hoodie for him.

Armin stepped out of the bathroom. Annie was halted in her steps; he was shirtless. Of course he was shirtless – she’d been the one to get him in that state, hadn’t she? But she’d just been thinking of getting him out of his piss-soaked clothes. It was hard to ignore his chest, warm and inviting, and that trail of dark blonde hairs down …

She cut herself off and thrust her hoodie towards him, looking at anything else. “Here.”

“Thanks,” he said, pulling it over his head.

“Sorry,” she said, managing to look at him now.

“It’s fine,” he said, shifting to make the hoodie more comfortable. “Everyone loves kittens and puppies and always forget that’s usually when they piss and shit themselves. That was on me.”

The sleeves of the hoodie were a little short on him, but he didn’t complain. It was certainly a better look than a piss-covered cardigan and T-shirt.

“I’ll make sure he’s litterbox-trained soon,” she said. “And I’ll wash your clothes.”

He smiled. “Thanks, Annie.”

Then, there was a pause; they’d always been able to be quiet around each other, but this one was different. It was heavier in a way that almost made her squirm – she wondered if he felt that too, or if it was just her.

He cleared his throat, and then she knew he felt it, too. “I guess I should probably head off, then.”

“Yeah,” she said, but she was still unable to ignore the twinge of disappointment in her chest. When had she gotten so fucking needy? “Yeah, okay.”

“But I’ll still see you on Saturday, yeah?” he asked.

Saturday. She wasn’t sure why the mere mention of it made her heart race.

“Yeah, I’ll still see you then,” she said.

“I know you said you wanted to pick the place, but I was thinking of reserving a table at Maria’s. If you’d like that,” he said.

Her eyebrows raised. “Maria’s?”

“Yeah,” he said. “That fancy little Italian place on seventh?”

“Oh, right,” she said. “I’ve never been.”

“It’s nice,” he said. “Would you be up for that?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s …”

“It’s what?” he asked gently.

She nearly said it’s a date, but for some reason, saying that felt like it crossed some sort of line. It wasn’t a date. It was dinner and then getting fucked by one of her dear friends. A very casual thing.

Not for the first time, the ridiculousness of the situation was not lost on her.

“It sounds good,” she said instead. “Wear something sexy.”

He let out a laugh. “I’ll remember my G-string.”

“Don’t joke,” she said. “You’ll get me all excited.”

He rolled his eyes and, before she knew it, they were at the door. It was only a few steps away, but a part of her wished it was farther. She wished they could stroll from one end of the apartment to the other, endlessly, talking about absolutely nothing at all. She wouldn’t have felt like this if he hadn’t shown up. Maybe she could have drank her wine and been content, but now, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get to sleep any time soon.

“I’ll let you know what time I book the table for,” he said.

She nodded. “No problem.”

He opened her apartment door. “Call if you need anything.”

“Actually,” she said, “there is something I need.”

His eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

“I’m running low on cat toys.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Thanks.”

Armin paused at the door. “Hey, Annie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I give you a hug goodbye?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Sure.” Then, she added, “You don’t have to ask, you know.”

“I know,” he said gently. “I just thought I should.”

Armin wrapped his arms around her, as casually as breathing, and she was engulfed in him. Her hoodie smelled like her, but there was still that unmistakable hint of him, even through the fabric. His embrace was warm and comforting, and one word fought to rise to her lips: Stay. But she stayed quiet.

They parted before she was ready, and she noticed that his gaze lingered on his for a split second longer than maybe it should have. But then, the moment was over, and she found herself wondering if she’d just imagined it.

“I’ll see you on Saturday,” he said. “Night, Annie.”

“Goodnight,” she said, and then he was gone, the door between them.

She let out a breath, resting her head against the door. Maybe she should have asked him to stay.

Brie meowed, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she turned to face him staring up at her expectantly.

“You’d gone quiet,” she said before picking up a toy from the table – the classic fake fish on a string. “Come on. Let’s tire you out so I can get some sleep.”

Chapter Text

Saturday arrived like a surprise, even though Annie had basically counted down the days until its appearance.

Hitch had kindly offered to look after Brie for the night, but she had thoroughly interrogated her over her whereabouts. It was fair considering she was giving up on her Saturday night to look after a cat she didn’t ask for, but the questioning still grated on Annie. She told her she was having drinks with Reiner, but she knew Hitch didn’t believe her. Not that it was her business, but she just didn’t want to tell Hitch what she was getting up to. Friends with benefits wasn’t exactly a difficult concept to explain, but considering it was with Armin, she was sure that Hitch would dangle it over her head for as long as she could.

Still, she’d accepted her excuse, and that was that. Now, she was in the Uber to Maria’s, trying to keep her heart steady. She’d decided to skip having a drink before heading to the restaurant; it was one thing being tipsy at Armin’s place, but she didn’t want to be in a state before she was even at the restaurant.

When they pulled up outside, she briefly caught sight of herself in the reflection of the window, in between the gold paint spelling out Maria’s over the glass. Her dress was a deep blue, knee-length, and showed maybe a little too much cleavage. Her make-up was subtle, but her eyes were smokey and dark. Her hair was down, but she hadn’t decided if she liked it like that, so she’d brought pins in case she wanted it up. It shouldn’t have mattered – it was, after all, only Armin – but the decision had nagged her while she was getting ready all the same.

Armin had texted her to meet him in the foyer, and she was glad to get out of the evening’s slight chill. Early October usually wasn’t so cold, at least, she hadn’t remembered it being so last year, so she’d gone without a jacket, which she was already regretting. But it only took a few moments to get into the restaurant, and the warmth hit immediately.

It was fancy. It was all reds, golds, and mahogany, with carefully laid round tables, draped in cream cloths, mostly made for two. She’d passed by before but hadn’t taken too much notice. Her dating life hadn’t really taken her anywhere fancy; she’d always lived alone and she’d never seen the point in going somewhere so pricey, especially when she had better things to spend her money on. But, she did have to admit, if the food was half as nice as the restaurant itself, then maybe it might be worth it.

“Annie?”

She turned, and there he was. His outfit was simple: navy blue suit, jacket unbuttoned, which fit him just right. She found that a lot of men who didn’t wear suits too often never wore the correct size – they were either too big or too tight, the latter usually an attempt to show more muscle, but ending up looking like they were growing out of it. But Armin’s looked practically tailored to him, and it must have been because how else could it look so good on him? His white button-up was crisp, and the top few buttons were undone, exposing the warm skin there. He’d forgone his oval glasses, opting for contacts instead.

He smiled, a little like sunlight; she felt the warmth on her chest. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said. “You clean up nice. I didn’t even know you owned a suit.”

“I own a few,” he said with a slight shrug. “I have to go to university events with sponsors and things, so …”

“Ah,” she said. “I’d forgotten you were part of the elites.”

Armin rolled his eyes and she flashed him a smile. “Are you ready to eat, then?”

“Obviously.”

They were on time to the minute, so they were seated immediately, in a quieter area of the restaurant. There were still others, though, enough to keep the background conversation at a gentle murmur. Armin asked for a bottle of Chianti Classico as soon as they were settled, and it took the waiter only a moment to return with the wine and water for the table.

“Have you had Chianti before?” he asked.

Annie shook her head. “No.”

“I thought you might like it,” he said, pouring her a glass. “But I’m not an expert.”

She scoffed. “Oh no?”

He smiled. “No.”

“Here I was thinking you were a sommelier.”

He let out a puff of air. “I wish.”

When Armin passed her the glass, their fingers brushed. It was only slight, but it sent a spark through her veins. She did her best to ignore it and took a sip.

Her face must been settled in that generally upset way it did, because Armin asked, “Bad?”

Annie shook her head. “No, it’s nice. Smooth.”

“I don’t know if it’ll complement what you want to eat,” he said, almost apologetically.

“I’m not that sort of person, Armin,” she said, taking another sip of her wine. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pick the next bottle, anyway.”

He raised an eyebrow. “The next one?”

“Well,” she said, keeping her voice low. “That one might just be at your place.”

That lovely thing happened again. Maybe it was good summer had passed because now, it was easy to see the slight flush bloom across his cheeks, pink beneath his skin. It looked delicious on him.

“My selection might not be to your tastes,” he said carefully.

“On the contrary,” she said, a little too confident now. “I’m a big fan of what you have to offer.”

Their gaze held a little too long, a challenge, almost. Then, Armin looked down at his menu, shaking his head, a smile gracing his lips.

“You know what you’re doing,” he said gently.

“What am I doing?” she asked, faux-innocently.

He met her gaze. “Are you always this flirtatious before you even order the appetisers?”

“No,” she said, taking a sip of her wine. “I usually don’t go anywhere where you order appetisers.”

Armin didn’t take the bait. “Do you usually make it to dessert, then?”

She couldn’t help herself. “One of us does.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Only one?”

She couldn’t fight her smirk. “I’m usually the dessert.”

Armin laughed, but she could tell her words had the intended effect. He tried to be subtle, but he shifted awkwardly in his seat, almost like he needed to readjust.

“Signore e signora,” said the waiter, making Armin nearly jump out of his seat. “Are you ready to order?”

“I’m ready,” said Annie, and smiled when Armin tripped over his words. This was the dynamic she was used to; while she’d never exactly call herself a top or anything, she’d always enjoyed making her partners nervous. The difference now was that Armin was certainly going to punish her later. The thought sent a thrill up her spine.

For appetisers, they both ordered different forms of bruschetta and as mains, Armin ordered penne alla norma and Annie ordered beef brasato with pappardelle and mint.

Annie left the teasing behind them for a moment, at least throughout their starters, where they talked more casually; about work, their friends, her cat, and so on. It still surprised her how easy it was to walk this line, the one between close friends and lovers. Maybe because the romantic love was missing, and it was something purer than that. She found it a lot less painful to hurt a partner than a friend.

“How is work, anyway?” she asked him.

“Fine,” he said but he sighed afterwards. He paused, then added, “Can I say something that might sound very mean for a professor to say?”

“You’ve come to the right person for that,” she said.

“I think kids are getting stupider,” he said quietly.

Annie laughed. “What’s brought you to this conclusion?”

“Well,” he said hesitantly. “I’ve had a few students clearly use AI for essays. I always try to be fair, but when I suspect it, I bring them in to discuss it, and it’s clear they’ve not even read the thing. Not to mention, most of the time it doesn’t follow the actual topic of the question at all. I mean, this is geography. It’s less interpretative than other disciplines, and they’re discussing it like it’s King Lear.”

“Ah,” she said. “To use AI, or to use my brain; that is the question.”

He smiled. “Hamlet.”

“I know,” she said. “I have read King Lear, you know. I hated it.”

“I take it that that’s why you don’t remember any lines,” he said.

“Well,” she said. “Apart from my failed attempts at being cast as Cordelia in high school, I haven’t had to memorise much of it.”

He couldn’t hide his surprise. “I didn’t realise you were interested in drama.”

“I wasn’t,” she said. “My councillor said being involved in something extracurricular would help my college applications, so that was my first attempt. They tried to pigeonhole me as Reagan and I disagreed, so my acting career was over before it started.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, offering a slight smile. “I wonder why they’d cast you as …”

“The literal villain?” she said dryly. “Not sure. Must have pissed some people off in high school by being generally rude and off-putting.”

He laughed. “So, what did you do instead?”

“Band.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Really?”

“The outfits are terrible,” she said. “But they really didn’t ask a lot out of you to play the drums.”

His lips twitched. “I can’t really picture you in one of those outfits.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she said, reaching for her purse. “You don’t have to picture. I have photos.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have been so forthcoming about this, especially considering she wanted him to have sex with her after this, but there, at that table, it was just them again. He knew plenty of embarrassing details about her already – how much damage could a stupid band photo do?

“Oh my God,” Armin said, staring at the image with genuine surprise.

“I know,” she said.

The picture was not flattering, if any picture of you in band uniform really could be. Reiner used to use it as a reaction image in their old group chat; the one with the two of them, Bertoldt, and Marcel. They hadn’t used it since before the accident, but none of them had left. There was something not quite right about leaving it now. None of them wanted to leave Marcel. Not again.

Fortunately, she’d saved it to her phone to use it herself, so she didn’t have to open that group chat.

“I see you really enjoyed yourself, given your big smile,” he said.

Annie’s scowl was so strong in the photo that sometimes it almost made her flinch.

She shrugged, moving to return her phone to her purse. “I hated getting my picture taken.”

“Why?” he asked. “You don’t mind as much now.”

“I’m not a teenager,” she said pointedly. “I’m still not very good at posing. I never know what to do with my arms.”

He smiled. “I think as long as you don’t T-pose, you’re good.”

She rolled her eyes. “I think there might be a little more to it than that.”

“I could take your picture,” he suggested. “So you can practice posing.”

“Oh, no,” she said.

“Come on,” he said, reaching for his pocket. “It’ll look natural.”

“I wouldn’t share it anywhere,” she protested.

“You don’t have to,” he said, positioning his phone. “I think it’s just nice to have photos for memory’s sake.”

After a moment, she relented. “Fine.”

“Smile,” he said.

Annie tried to position herself as not-awkwardly as possible and forced a smile.

“Uhm … Annie,” said Armin, eyes furrowed at his phone. “You look like you’re in pain.”

She felt her face flush. “Well, I’m sorry, I just sort of look like that.”

Armin laughed. “No, you don’t. You look like you’re being held hostage here.”

“It can’t be that bad,” said Annie.

He was trying to suppress his laughter as he turned his phone to face her.

Her expression faltered.

“Oh,” she said. “That’s …”

“Yes?” he asked.

“I look like I’m being held at gunpoint.”

Armin laughed again, and she couldn’t help the twitch of her lips.

“God, Annie,” he said with a laugh. “If I’d known taking you out to dinner would make you feel that way, I probably wouldn’t have asked.”

“Wait,” she said, but Armin erupted into laughter again, and it was contagious. Before she knew it, she was laughing with him, like an absolute fool.

It went on for a little while longer; each time they met each other’s gaze, it would set them off. They were trying to stay quiet, but they were snickering like schoolchildren. The others who sat near them in the restaurant must have thought them idiots, if not just supremely annoying. Annie managed to bite her lips together and look away from him, down at the floor, to try and calm down.

“Annie?”

She looked up, already starting to laugh again, but she was met with the sight of his phone.

“Oh, God,” she laughed, raising her hand. “Don’t take another. My pride can’t take it.”

He laughed and lowered his phone. “Look, this one isn’t bad. It’s really nice, actually.”

Armin turned the phone to face her. For a moment, she wasn’t sure how to react. It was clearly her, but she’d never seen herself look like that. It had probably helped that she hadn’t known it was coming. She didn’t look awkward and it was clearly candid, but it didn’t look bad; just natural. And she was smiling, genuinely smiling, in a way she’d never seen before.

“Your smile reaches your eyes here,” he said, looking at the photo.

His voice was gentle, and it made her pause. He dealt with her so sweetly sometimes that she found herself at a loss for words.

“Armin,” she began, but she was interrupted.

“Annie? I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

All laughter that had been contained in her chest fizzled out as it turned cold. She looked up, and there was Pieck in a beautiful green dress, and Porco right behind her in a dark suit, wearing a scowl so familiar that she nearly flinched.

“Oh … hey,” she managed.

“Sorry!” said Pieck quickly. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your …”

“Date,” said Armin, offering a smile.

When her eyes settled on him, the worst thing possible happened – recognition flashed across Pieck’s face. She must have only looked at Armin’s profile picture for a few seconds, but it was clearly long enough.

“Oh, of course,” said Pieck with a smile. “You’re Armin, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Armin’s smile faltered slightly and he rose to his feet, offering his hand for her to shake. “It’s nice to meet you. And you’re …?”

“Armin,” said Annie, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “This is Pieck. And her fiancé, Porco.”

“Oh, right,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you.” He put his hand out for Porco to shake, and Porco accepted, although clearly reluctantly. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thank you,” said Pieck, and even Porco managed a gruff, “Thanks.”

“Sorry for interrupting,” said Pieck. “I just hadn’t expected to see you.”

Annie managed to smile. This one definitely didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s fine. Are you celebrating?”

Pieck nodded with a smile. “One of many. First dinner alone.”

“I hope you guys have a good night,” said Annie.

“You two as well,” said Pieck, a devilish edge in her voice that she didn’t particularly care for. “Whatever you get up to.”

Annie scowled, which only made Pieck’s smile wider.

Fortunately, their waiter led them out of sight, into the next area of the restaurant, so she wouldn’t have to deal with Porco burning a hole into the back of her head. Still, seeing him now still made her stomach turn. It wasn’t fair, she knew it wasn’t, but she’d probably be a lot happier if she never saw him again. Maybe living in the same city, and working with his fiancé, though, wasn’t the best way to do that.

“Annie?”

She looked over at Armin, whose eyebrows were pulled together. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod, but her heart was racing, and not in the way she’d have liked it to. “I’m fine.”

Armin was no fool, but he dropped the subject. Instead, he offered her a smile and leaned forward. “How do you feel about sambuca?”

“Sambuca?” she asked. “I don’t think I’ve had it before.”

“You’d remember,” he said, and he called over the waiter to ask for two shots.

A brief flash of confusion passed over the waiter’s face, but Armin slipped him a tip that silenced any protest.

“It’s not exactly traditional,” he said.

“To do a shot in the middle of a meal?” she asked.

He smiled. “They sometimes bring it over at the end of the meal. But needs must.” Then, he added, “I was thinking tequila, but I think I’d have sounded weirder.”

She smiled. “The post-appetiser sambuca shot probably sounded weird enough.”

“Fair point.” Then, his face softened, “Can I ask you something?”

Annie sipped from her glass. “I suppose that depends on the question.”

He watched her carefully. “How does Pieck know what I look like?”

Her stomach sank. She shrugged as nonchalantly as she could. “I’d spoken to her about you at work; she looked you up on Facebook. That’s all.”

“Were you saying anything nice?” he asked.

Her eyes met his and she smiled. “Oh, only the meanest of things.”

He laughed. “You really know how to flatter me.”

Just then, the waiter returned with a small tray holding their clear shots of sambuca and carefully placed them on the table between them. They both thanked him and then it was just the two of them and their sambuca.

Armin raised his glass towards her. “Cheers.”

She lifted hers, gently tapping her glass against his. “Cheers.”

The shot went down cleanly, tingling her throat with something like liquorice, and then they both sat the glasses down on the table again.

She couldn’t ignore the way Armin’s face had twisted. “Not a fan?”

“I forgot how much I don’t like sambuca,” he said and she laughed.

“You’re the one who ordered it,” she pointed out.

“I’ve usually drank more by the time I have it,” he said.

“Okay,” she said, reaching for the bottle. She filled up his glass. “Drink more, then.”

Their eyes met as she poured. His gaze was soft and full of warmth. She wasn’t sure how he always managed to look at him like that these days, but in that moment, it made her chest feel lighter.

He smiled. “Your wish is my command.”

The softness of his words, gentle like a caress, made her flush. She reached for her wine glass in an attempt to cover it up, but he must have seen it. To his credit, he stayed quiet; he was better than her like that sometimes. Had it been the other way around, she’d have devoured him.

They were interrupted by the arrival of their mains, and she relaxed a bit more as their conversation turned friendly again. Still, there was that undertone, throughout the rest of the meal, and she knew he felt it, too. Friendly glances became a little more heated, Armin seemed to find incredibly smooth excuses to touch her hands, and more than once, they’d both lost their trains of thought, although neither of them would admit what they were thinking about when prodded. It wasn’t something they needed to say, anyway.

Even now, he was still surprising her with the way he could make her feel … vulnerable. It was strange to be caught off-guard, but it wasn’t exactly something she was opposed to. It was something she liked, although she’d never say it aloud to him.

After dessert, where they both had panna cotta, the wine was polished off, and they were bickering over how they should split the bill. Armin was arguing that there should be no split at all and that he would cover the bill.

“That’s not fair,” she said.

“Am I not allowed to pay for a dinner for my dear friend?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, but it’s expensive here.”

“You didn’t pick it,” he pointed out.

“I agreed to it,” she countered.

Armin paused. “Why don’t you cover the tip?”

“That’s not splitting it.”

“And the Uber back to my place?”

“Armin.”

He handed her the bill.

“Fucking Christ,” she said, eyes darting back to his. “That’s a fucking mortgage.”

“It’s not that bad,” he protested weakly.

She met his gaze for a moment. Was this part of their agreement? He’d said it would be nice to go out to dinner so things could be more normal; he hadn’t said he’d spend a small fortune on a dinner for her. It crossed her mind that this could be part of it, as well; financial control. Armin didn’t strike her as the kind of person to get off on that. Then again, before she’d found that box, she hadn’t thought much about what got him off, anyway.

“Okay,” she said carefully, sliding the bill back over to him. “I’ll cover the tip.” Then, she added, pointedly, “And the Uber.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“Thanks for your generosity,” she said. “Mr Moneybags.”

He rolled his eyes and paid the bill, and Annie did her best to tip handsomely (although, maybe not by Armin’s standards, considering he must own the wealth of a small European country). They stood to leave, and Armin insisted she wear his jacket, which she wasn’t going to complain about too much. It was warm and smelled of him. It made waiting for the Uber in the evening air a little easier, although his warm hand on her lower back also helped.

Armin opened her door for her when the Uber arrived, and she rolled his eyes, which just made him grin. It made her wonder how much of what he was doing was part of an act and how much was him trying to rile her up in the way friends did. That line was slightly less clear than the other.

When the car started moving, she couldn’t help but ask, “Since when were you minted?”

He laughed. “Annie, I’m not minted.”

“It seems like you might be,” she said. “I didn’t think professors made so much.”

After a pause, he said, “I have investments.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “In what?”

He shrugged. “Tech, mostly. I started after my parents died. Well, after my inheritance came in.” Then, he added, “I told you that.”

Armin’s parents died when he was a child, but he didn’t talk about it much. It had never been something she’d wanted to ask about, although he’d shared some details of them, from time to time. She’d seen a photograph of them, although, now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen it anywhere in his new apartment. Maybe he’d kept it tucked away, out of reach, for safekeeping. She remembered seeing it and thinking that he looked so much like his mother.

Instead, she’d said, “I hope you don’t get your dad’s hairline.”

He’d laughed and said, “God, I hope so, too.”

She nudged him in the back of the Uber. “Yes, but you always talk about it like it was something you did, not something you were still doing. I didn’t know you were rich.”

“God, I’m not rich,” he said. “I’m just … good with money.”

“Do you even need to work?”

He laughed. “Yes, I need to work. I live alone.” Then, he said, pointedly, “You live alone, too. That’s not exactly cheap.”

“I’m very aware,” she said. “But my apartment isn’t exactly yours.”

“I like yours,” he said. “It’s cosy.”

“That’s always a soft way of saying small.”

“I don’t think it’s small. A studio’s small. I think it’s cosy.” Then, he added, “Most of my apartment isn’t big, anyway.”

She looked at him. “Want to trade?”

He rolled his eyes, but it was playful. “You’ll have to be more convincing, I think.”

She snorted. She was about to leave it, to turn her attention to something else, but then, a devilish thought crossed her mind. She let her fingers wander, almost like they had a mind of their own, and rested her hand on his thigh, caressing his leg with a light pressure.

“I can be very convincing,” she said lowly.

She was hoping she would get under his skin; elicit some sort of nervous reaction, or even something more significant. But he just smiled gently, sending warmth through her chest. “Don’t I know it.”

Her expression faltered. Before she could react, the car slowed to a halt. Had they reached his apartment already?

“Thank you,” said Armin to the driver, and he was out of the car.

“Thanks,” she said, making sure to give the driver a good tip on the app, before stepping out of the car.

Armin’s hand found her lower back as they walked into the building, and the sensation sent a thrill up her spine. Maybe it was the wine, or the second shot of sambuca after dessert, but her body was reacting to him like he was electric.

He guided her towards the elevator and, when the doors opened, it was empty. They stepped inside and he pressed the button for the tenth floor, and they settled into the silence.

But then, as the doors closed, Armin said, “You look really beautiful. I’m sorry I hadn’t said that yet.”

“Thank you,” she said, glancing over at him. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

He laughed. “You really do flatter me.”

“It’s a talent of mine,” she said flatly.

“Yeah,” he said, and she shivered when she felt his hand appear at her back. “I can see that.”

She bit her lip as she felt his fingers trail to her hip, and before she knew it, she felt herself being pulled toward him, and his lips were on hers.

His hands gripped her hips and she gasped against his mouth, and then he deepened the kiss. His lips were so soft; his kisses made her tingle.

When Armin pulled back, his eyes were dark; it made her heart race.

His fingers brushed her jaw and he said, quietly, “Will you be good for me tonight?”

Oh, fuck him. Seriously.

She resented how his words made heat race to her core, and she did her best to appear unaffected.

“I’m not sure you’ve earned it,” she said carefully.

Armin laughed and the elevator dinged open. “Come on.”

There was something in his expression that made her body feel charged. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just anticipation … but no, something felt different. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, though.

“Annie? Are you coming?”

Armin was holding the elevator door to stop it from closing. Had she been staring?

She played it off and offered him a small smile. “I really hope so.”

He smiled, and when she stepped out of the elevator, brushing past him, he leaned down and whispered in her ear.

His breath sent a shiver through her. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.”

Chapter Text

Armin swiftly unlocked the door to his apartment and as soon as they were inside, he pushed her against the door and pressed his mouth to hers.

His lips were soft and his kisses were gentle, sending flutters through her abdomen. She let out a sigh as he moved to her jaw, leaving a trail down to her neck, and when he reached the crook of it, she shivered.

“Annie,” he said into her neck, and his breath on her skin sent another thrill through her. “Will you take this off for me?”

He pressed his lips to her neck again before kissing with more force, his teeth pressing against her flesh as he sucked hard enough to leave a mark. She whimpered.

He pulled at the fabric of her dress. “Off.” Then, he whispered in her ear, “That’s an order.”

She was tempted to throw a quip back, but the chill that ran through her at his words was too delicious.

Annie nudged him away, but he helped her shrug off his jacket, and then she reached for the zip at the back of her dress, and in an instant, it was pooling at her feet.

Armin’s eyes swallowed her whole – she was wearing soft-pink lingerie, frilly and pretty, and she liked the way his eyes trailed over her. His hands found her hips again, thumbing the lace there, and she sighed.

When his eyes met hers, he was smiling. It wasn’t teasing, but it was that smile of his; gentle and warm, and there was something so genuine about it that her heart fluttered.

“Pink suits you,” he said.

She swallowed. “Thanks.”

His thumbs rubbed small circles on her hips, making her shiver. He said, lightly, “Do you want to keep your heels on?”

She frowned and kicked them off, making him grin.

“No,” she said.

“Good,” he said, his voice a caress. Then, he stepped back from her and made her way to the kitchen table. He leaned against it and said, gently, “Come here.”

Annie obeyed. The distance between them was short, and soon his mouth was on her, his fingers digging into her soft skin.

He turned them around and, without warning, he boosted her onto his table, and she let out a small sound of surprise against his lips. He pressed himself in between her legs and she could feel him, stiff against her heat, and she let out a small moan at the slight friction.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as he deepened their kiss, and he made a delicious sound against her lips, and she tightened her grip, just a little too tight. When he rolled his hips against hers, she couldn’t help but pull at the strands, and he let out a small gasp.

“Feeling a bit rough, are we?” he said against her mouth.

She loosened her grip. “Sorry.”

He smiled and said, softly, “I’m not sure sorry’s good enough.”

Oh, she hated the way that made her throb. Since when could he have this sort of effect on her? It was like a switch he could turn on and off, whenever he liked. It was as frustrating as it was exciting.

She didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. So, he gripped the bottom of her thighs and, in one swift motion, lifted her up.

She locked her hands around his neck to stay secure, her legs tightening around him. He pressed his lips to hers, briefly, biting down on her bottom lip, making her gasp, before he pulled away.

“Do you just like me airborne?” she asked.

He grinned and shook his head. “Bedroom,” he clarified.

She was going to make some snide remark, but when he started moving, she decided it wasn’t worth it.

Armin kicked open the bedroom door with one foot, before laying her down on the bed, still in between her legs. He pressed his mouth to her jaw, her neck, and then the peak of her chest before he stood up to turn on the light.

Annie adjusted, stretching her arms out before her hand made contact with something firm, and she looked up.

It was some sort of handcuff, padded and more comfortable than a regular cuff, but still a handcuff. When she finally made note of the rest of her surroundings, she realised that there were four: two for her wrists and two for her ankles.

“Figured it out?”

She turned to look at him, and his smile made her flush. When had he set this up? Had he just done this before meeting her for dinner? Had it turned him on?

“It’s not that hard to figure out,” she said.

“No?” he said. “Do you think you could get out of them?”

“I assume not,” she said.

His face softened. He kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed. Gently, he pressed a kiss on her calf, and then her inner thigh, making her tremble. He reached her stomach, and then her cleavage, before pressing his lips to the crook of her neck. When he pulled back, she met his gaze.

“Let me show you how to get out of them,” he said gently.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Do you want me to?”

“Only if you want to,” he said. His demeanour changed. “It’s just to make sure you can get out yourself. Okay?”

She nodded.

“Okay,” he said, and there was his gentleness again. He adjusted so that he was kneeling beside her, and he raised the cuff so she could see it. He clicked it around his own wrist and showed her where the latch was to get out of it – you could just reach it with your cuffed hand, but it wasn’t easily knocked.

“Here,” he said and clicked it around her wrist. “Can you get it off?”

It was a little awkward, but she managed to click it open. “Yeah.”

“Good,” he said.

He trailed his hand over her, meandering down her skin teasingly, still gentle. He traced her nipple through the lace of her bra, and her breathing grew heavier. His fingers moved again, steadily lower, until they reached where her clit was, in between her folds beneath the fabric.

“Fuck,” she breathed, dropping her head back.

Then, the gentleness disappeared as he pressed into her, hard, and she gasped before his hand disappeared. Before she knew it, he was off the bed.

“Where are you going?” she said.

“Right here,” he said and smiled. “You know, as gorgeous as you are right now, I think you’ll have to take those off.”

Annie sat up, reaching behind her to unclip her bra before she threw it at him.

He caught it and smiled. “Aggressive.”

She rolled her eyes and deliberately dropped her underwear off the side of the bed. Armin tossed her bra down in the same place.

She leaned backwards and met his gaze with a challenge. “So? Are you going to fuck me now or what?”

Annie thought her crassness might make him fumble, if only slightly, but he didn’t react. Instead, he shook his head and said, “No. You first.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Sorry?”

He stepped forward and pressed his hands to her knees, gently edging her legs apart. He didn’t drop her gaze.

“Touch yourself,” he said.

Her face flushed. “Why?”

“Because,” he said, standing straight again. “I want to watch you touch yourself.”

She swallowed. So, maybe there’d be less roughness involved this time and more of … this.

“Okay,” she said, trying to act nonchalant about it, but she couldn’t avoid just how exposed she felt. It wasn’t like she hadn’t touched herself in front of anyone before, but it hadn’t been the main show. Now, Armin was watching her expectantly.

She sighed and let her left hand trail down between her legs and gently circle her clit. A small noise passed her lips, and she bit them together, adjusting her hand for the best angle as her eyelids fluttered shut. Her other hand drew up to her nipple, gently tracing in the same circular motion she stroked her clit.

“Annie.”

She paused, opening her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Look at me,” he said, voice firm.

Her face felt hot. “Look at you?”

“I want you to look at me when you touch yourself.” He tilted his head. “Is it much different than looking at me when I make you come?”

It was different, and he knew that, which is exactly why he was telling her to do it. But she couldn’t voice that; that wasn’t the game they were playing.

So, she bit her lip and kept circling her clit, making sure to hold his gaze as she did.

Her face was hot with embarrassment, but her movements were rhythmic. Did he want her to come like this? Was voyeurism part of this thing?

The pressure of her fingers was delicious, and Armin was looking at her like she was a meal. She let her eyes trail down him, making out the shape of his muscles through his shirt, down to the noticeable bulge in his pants, which sent a wave of excitement through her.

She let out a small noise and he smiled.

“Good girl,” he said gently.

Annie bit her lip. “Fuck you.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “That was a bit rude, don’t you think?”

She didn’t say anything. Her stomach flipped when he took a step toward the bed, reaching forward to spread her legs wider.

Annie wasn’t proud of the whimper that slipped out of her.

Slowly, he ran his hands up the insides of her thighs, and the light pressure of his palms made her tense with anticipation. Each touch was heavenly, even though it was so simple, and it only got worse when his fingers moved closer to her cunt. Her breath caught when he reached her folds, and she shivered when he traced her entrance with his thumb. It was driving her crazy already.

“Please,” she said, her voice a lot weaker than she’d intended.

Armin looked at her. “Please what?”

She wasn’t sure what specifically, but she wanted more of him.

“Please fuck me,” she said.

He smiled, and she could have screamed when he teasingly placed his finger at her entrance. But he didn’t push inside her. Instead, he removed his hand entirely, and she let out a frustrated grunt.

“Fuck yourself,” he said.

“What?”

His fingers were firm on her wrist, stopping her movements. He gently guided her fingers further south to her entrance.

“Fuck yourself,” he said again.

She swallowed. “Why can’t you fuck me?”

“Because,” he said, as simply as he had before. “I want to watch you fuck yourself.”

How could she argue with that? Armin was watching her, waiting for her move. She relented.

Slowly, she traced her entrance and then pushed a finger inside of herself. She sighed.

After a few thrusts, Armin said, “Come on, Annie. You can do better than that.”

She flushed, meeting his gaze. He waggled two fingers in front of her.

In normal circumstances, she might have laughed. But these were certainly not normal circumstances, so she obeyed, slipping a second finger inside herself.

She was disgustingly wet, especially considering Armin hadn’t really touched her yet. The sound was enough to tell him that, but he at least had the grace, for now, to not say anything about it.

Gently, she pumped her fingers in and out in smooth strokes, caressing herself in the way she liked, as much as the angle allowed. Her abdomen was tight with pleasure, which had little to do with what she was doing and everything to do with how Armin was watching her.

She raised her right hand to bite down on her index finger, increasing the speed of her fingers, fucking herself under his gaze. She’d fingered herself numerous times, although she did usually prefer more clit stimulation, but it had never felt so erotic. Maybe because no one had ever watched her do it before, at least not like this.

Finally, Armin moved, and for a moment, she thought he was going to bring her some relief. But no – he pressed his lips to her knee, planting light kisses up her inner thigh, before he reached a sensitive area, his face close to her hand, and bit down on her skin. She bit down to hold back her moan, but Armin kept sucking on the sensitive skin there. When he pulled back, she was sure there was a mark.

He moved away, but not far, and repeated his action, making her whimper. She wondered if he would make her beg for him to touch her, to press his fingers inside her, so maybe she could come on his hands. The thought alone nearly made her shudder.

But then, abruptly, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and she stopped. Gently, her fingers slid out of her, and Armin raised her hand. Then, meeting her eye, he gently sucked her slickness off of her fingers. It made her insides tremble.

There was something in her expression that he clearly liked, because he smiled and said, “Don’t get too excited. I’m nowhere near done with you.”

She scoffed. “Do you think I want you to stop now?”

“No,” he said, crawling further up the bed. “But I suspect you might start getting a bit desperate very soon.”

She was going to retort something, but then he said, “Hands above your head, Annie.”

Her abdomen fluttered and she obeyed, and Armin wordlessly cuffed her arms to the bed. He moved off of the bed and gently clasped the cuffs around her ankles. The pull wasn’t harsh, but they made it so she couldn’t put her legs together.

Something occurred to her as he walked over to his box.

“Wait,” she said.

Armin stopped immediately, turning to face her. “Yeah?”

“There’s one more thing I don’t want,” said Annie.

His face softened. “Should I stop?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Just … don’t tickle me.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t going to.”

“I’m not saying never,” she said. “But I might break something if I’m cuffed like this.”

Armin smiled, clearly suppressing a laugh. “Okay. Is that all?”

She nodded. “Yeah. You can keep going.”

“Thank you for permission,” he said, and then he was kneeling in front of the box to retrieve his toys.

When he turned around, it looked like he was holding chains; wasn’t being cuffed enough? But when he stepped closer, she realised what she was looking at.

“Are those …?”

“Clamps,” he said, perching on the edge of the bed.

Her stomach fluttered.

He smiled. “Clamps makes it sound a lot worse than they are. It’s just some pressure.”

She wasn’t sure if she believed him, considering he wasn’t the one who was usually on the receiving end, but, like the fool she was, she did trust him.

He settled down on the bed and reached over, tracing a thumb over her nipple. She made a small noise in the back of her throat, and when he squeezed it, she yelped.

“Relax,” he said quietly, his voice so gentle it nearly made her tremble. He lifted the clamps. “Ready?”

She quickly nodded, and Armin leaned forward to put the clamps in place. At first, it was just a slight pressure, noticeable, unfamiliar, but not uncomfortable. It was just a gentle pinch; she found herself wanting more.

“I’m going to tighten them,” he said. “Okay?”

She nodded again.

He reached over and slowly tightened the left clamp. The pressure grew until it reached a biting sensation, and Armin stopped right before it became too much.

“Okay?” he asked. “Or looser?”

“It’s good,” she said with a nod. “Are you going to do the other one or what?”

He laughed. “Don’t be so impatient,” he said, moving to tighten the other one. “Anyway … there’s a third clamp.”

“A third one? What –”              

She cut herself off as realisation washed over her.

Oh.

Right.

The other clamp was as tight as the other, and the sensation was biting, harsh, but strangely … nice. When his hands grazed her skin, it felt heightened, like the pain was making everything else feel more intense.

He reached behind him for the third, which looked a lot less friendly than the other set. Though, actually, that might have just been because of where it was going.

“It won’t be as tight,” he said.

She let out a slight breath. “I fucking hope not. I’d like to keep my clit, if you don’t mind.”

He let out a small laugh, but then his face softened. “Are these okay?”

His fingers brushed over her breast and she shuddered.

“Yes,” she said with a nod.

He pulled his hand away. “Okay. Just relax.”

Something animal, maybe almost caveman-like, wanted her to slam her legs together. Obviously, the cuffs prevented her from doing that. She wondered how intentional this combination had been.

His fingers ghosted over her lower lips, and she bit her lip. Then, she felt his fingers spread her folds apart and she felt so damn exposed. She was so wet; how was that thing even going to stay in place?

All thoughts stopped when she felt the slight grip of the clamp on her clit.

“Ah,” she said, biting her lips together.

Armin looked over at her. “Is that okay?”

She nodded. Then, after a beat, “Maybe tighter.”

“Okay.”

Gently, the pressure increased. One bit, and then another, and another, and then –

“Oh God,” she said.

He stopped. “All good?”

“Yeah,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut. “That’s good there.”

The pressure was intense, so much so that her thighs were nearly trembling. It wasn’t quite painful, but right at its peak, where the tightness of the clamp was delicious.

When Armin’s fingers brushed over her thigh, she whimpered.

Oh, now she was making a fool of herself.

“Good,” he said lowly, and his voice sent a shiver up her spine.

Armin leaned over her and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her slowly but deeply, and she responded in kind. His hand found her thigh again and she shuddered, and his fingers trailed deliberately closer to her clit, making her whine against his mouth.

His mouth left hers, and he pressed his lips to her neck, and the press of his soft mouth nearly made her dizzy. He trailed further down, pressing his mouth to the space between her breasts, gently brushing his thumb over one of the clamps, making her gasp. Then, he went further, over her stomach and then down to her naval, before stopping above her sex.

The heat of his breath against her cunt made her ache all over again, and she bit her lips together to stay quiet.

But she couldn’t stop herself from crying out when his tongue traced her folds, deliberately moving against the clamp.

Armin pulled away and hummed. “You’re being so good, you know that?”

A wave of embarrassment and arousal rushed through her; she’d never thought you could feel those two emotions so powerfully at the same time, but here she was, making a damn fool of herself, and she was enjoying every second of it.

His finger traced her entrance and she whimpered.

“Annie,” he said, his voice firm. “Tell me how good you’re being.”

She closed her eyes, face burning. “I’m being so good.”

Gently, Armin slipped a finger inside of her, and she sighed.

“Good girl,” he said, and fuck him, honestly, because if he continued to say things like that, in his sultry little voice, she was going to come without him barely touching her. She wouldn’t live that down; he’d never let her.

Armin slipped a second finger inside of her, and his speed built, and the steady rhythm of him caressing her walls with his fingers made her shudder. She clenched her fists, and as he quickened his thrusts, she could feel everything, so intensely; the grip of the clamps on her nipples, pinching delicious, the hot pressure of her throbbing clit, intensified by the grip of the clamp, and his fingers, his perfect fucking fingers, carrying toward her edge. How could he do this with his fingers?

“Annie,” she heard. “Be a good girl and look at me.”

She forced herself to open her eyes and met his gaze, and fuck, she could see the want in his eyes, clear as day.

“Fuck,” she moaned, feeling her eyes burning from the pleasure.

He was rough now, pounding his fingers into her, but he was doing it just right, just perfectly, and her legs were trembling and she was doing everything in her power not to whimper.

“Armin,” she gasped. “Please.”

He smiled. “Please what?”

She groaned. “I want to come. Please make me come.”

“You’re not being very convincing.”

She whined, and her eyes were watering now; she hoped they didn’t spill over. She’d never cried because something felt so wonderfully intense, but she supposed she was experiencing a lot of firsts because of Armin now.

“Please,” she said again.

“Please,” he repeated and smiled at her. “That word sounds so good from you.”

The pressure inside her was building, but she needed more; she needed more friction against her clit, something to end this heavenly torture.

“Please,” she said. “Armin.”

He hummed and then, abruptly, she was empty.

She groaned in complaint, and he smiled at her.

“Be patient,” he chastised.

She nearly growled at him. Patience wasn’t one of her virtues, and it certainly wasn’t now when she was so desperate for him.

He wiped his fingers on her leg, leaving her lying there, wondering how much begging she’d have to do now. She wagered a lot.

“Do you not want more?” he asked.

“I want to come,” she said, and she didn’t like the desperation that had crept into her voice.

He smiled. “You’ll get that.”

“Then please,” she said, a slight hint of frustration. “Do what you want with me.”

He moved to sit beside her, caressing her side. “Sit still.”

She tried to follow his orders, but when his fingers touched the clamp on her clit, she couldn’t help but flinch.

“Hey,” he said gently. “I’m just taking it off.”

Annie did her best to stay still, and when the pressure was alleviated, she let out a small noise of relief. Her clit was aching.

He threw the clamp to the side and moved to his box. Even in her haze of arousal, she felt her stomach drop in anticipation.

When he turned around, he was holding something – a vibrator of some sort, purple, the kind intended to be inside you while the smaller suction part was pressed against your clit. It was simple, or at least, she thought so before she noticed he’d pulled out his phone.

Her eyebrows drew together. “Important email?”

“No,” he said, and the smile that crept onto his lips made her nervous. “This is app-controlled.”

Annie swallowed. “So, what’s your big plan with that?”

“Well,” he said gently, settling down beside her. “I was hoping to make you come without even touching you.” He smiled again. “Then I get the pleasure of watching you.”

“Oh,” was all she managed.

“Oh,” he repeated, and then he reached into his bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube.

He made quick work of the vibrator, and then he was between her legs, very gently pushing it into her. First, there was that relief of being full, and then that was immediately followed by the press of it against her clit. She swallowed. How hard could that thing suck?

“Maybe we didn’t need the lube,” he observed, bringing her back to reality. “You’re soaking, Annie.”

Her face flushed as she looked at him. She gestured toward the tent his hard-on had formed in his pants. “Well, at least my cock isn’t going camping.”

The comment clearly took him by surprise and he laughed. It pierced through her arousal and nearly grounded her, making her lips twitch – but it was fleeting because the vibrator started whirring, hard, inside her, sucking harshly at her clit.

She cried out, but then the pressure was gone in an instant. The shock of the sensation was enough to make her lose herself; but then, she managed to meet Armin’s gaze again.

He was smiling down at her, phone in hand. “You shouldn’t misbehave. You always end up getting punished.”

His words lit a fire in her abdomen. Well – that was what she wanted, after all, wasn’t it?

This time, when he turned the vibrator back on, its setting was much lower. Instead of having her nearly screaming, it was gently working away at her, sucking at her clit in a way that made her toes almost curl.

“Oh,” she managed, inadvertently raising her hips, almost like she was trying to get more pressure against her clit. The part inside of her was only making things more intense; every part of her cunt was washed in waves of pleasure, and she found herself gripping her hands into fists as the feeling rippled through her.

Her hips must have gotten too high without her realising because Armin gently pushed her back down on the bed. Had she not been so turned on, she probably would have been embarrassed. Instead, she let out a small moan, almost as if that would get him to touch her again.

“Is it not enough, Annie?” he asked.

“It’s good,” she said, her voice breathy.

“That isn’t what I asked,” he said, and she gasped as he pressed the vibrator into her. The sensation was only momentary, but the pressure on her clit jumped, and she found herself missing the feeling instantly.

“No,” she said, more desperately now. “I need more.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” she managed, her voice weak from pleasure. “Please.”

“Like this?”

The vibrations and the suction increased in an instant, and it was near-fucking perfect.

“Yes,” she said, unable to stop the moan from slipping out of her. “Just like that.”

But then, the vibrations dipped again, and she whined.

“No, please,” she said. “It felt really good.” She let out a breath. “I need more.”

“More?”

“Yes,” she said, whimpering. “I need more. Please.”

“Beg.”

She nearly cried out. She was already begging. How much more did he really want? She could only imagine how much he enjoyed having her at his mercy like this. At least half as much as she did.

“Armin, please,” she said, unable to keep the desperation out of her voice. “Please. Make it faster, harder … anything, please. I need more.”

“How much do you need it?”

Her eyes were burning again. “I need it so badly. I need to come.”

Armin hummed, but the vibrations were still stagnant.

“Armin,” she said. “I’ll do anything.” She closed her eyes, whimpering. “I’ll be so good for you.”

There was a slight pause and then, the vibrations increased.

“Oh my God,” she groaned. “Thank you.”

“Annie,” he said gently. “Open your eyes.”

She obeyed, and he was looking down at her like she was hanging in The Louvre, and had she not been overwhelmed by arousal, she might have shied away from it. If anything, now, it just turned her on more.

The vibrator hadn’t reached the peak of her pleasure. Armin increased the vibrations and the suction a little more, and then it was perfect.

“Fuck,” she moaned, eyes burning at the waves of pleasure pulsing through her. “Armin.”

He hummed, and she felt his hand on the outside of her thigh, and she gasped. Even something as simple as his fingers on a perfectly innocent part of her was like fire. She wished he would touch her all over, but no; this was part of his game. He wanted her like this, weak, needy, without him even really touching her. She was sure it must have been a pretty sight; moaning, messy, completely desperate. Somewhere, distantly, she thought he might have liked to see him in that position as well.

She could feel the pressure of a distant orgasm building inside of her, and now, she was moaning and whimpering like a damn mess. At some point, her wet eyes must have spilt over, because before she knew it, Armin was beside her and his hands were on her face, brushing away the tears rushing down her face.

She whimpered. “Fuck.”

“Are you close?” he said, voice low.

She whined and nodded. “Yes. I’m so fucking close.”

“Good,” he said, his thumbs gently stroking her cheeks as he cupped her face.

Then, he leaned down and captured her lips in his and she couldn’t stop herself from moaning against his mouth. The kiss was slow and deep, and maybe a little too intimate for what they were doing. But her head wasn’t clear enough to address it, and it felt good – what else really mattered?

She whined against his lips as the pressure built, but he still kissed her, and she kissed him back as best she could, with trembling lips and small sounds of pleasure. Her nails dug into her palms, and the vibrations and suction against her cunt were taking her to new heights, and she could feel she was so close to her peak. Armin’s lips were so soft, and he was kissing her like she was the most precious thing in the world, and she could have cried from how good everything felt. He bit her lip, and she gasped against him, and then, the vibrations, the suction, his kisses, it all became too much, and her orgasm came, hard and desperate.

She shuddered and jerked against him, but Armin still kissed her, even when her kisses grew far too clumsy. Her hips twitched as she came down, and his kisses became gentle pecks, like small caresses, and each one made her tingle all over.

When she finally stopped trembling, and she was clearly spent, Armin leaned away from her and stroked her face, smiling that stupid smile of his. It made her chest feel warm in a way that she couldn’t quite explain, not that she was cognitively present enough to even attempt to.

She let out a breath. “I’m done.”

His smile widened. “Yeah, I got that.”

It had been a hint to stop the vibrator, but Armin deliberately ignored it.

She whimpered and raised her hips. Post-orgasm, the vibrations were overstimulating enough, but the suction was beyond intense, and they were making her thighs shake.

“I’m done,” she said again.

He tilted his head, and she wondered how he’d seemed so sweet mere moments ago. “You can go again,” he said gently.

Oh, okay. So, he was evil.

Annie bit her lip, hard. Her abdomen was trembling at the pressure now and it was becoming difficult to think clearly. Her clit was so sensitive and the vibrator was taking advantage of that. She could go again – but going again like this was torture. Then again, that was probably what he wanted.

“Please,” she said. “Please.”

“Do you not want to come again?” he asked.

She grunted. “Yes.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

Annie groaned. “It’s – it’s too much. I need – ah –”

“What do you need?” he asked.

She whimpered. “You.”

Armin held her gaze for a moment as the vibrations continued to rock through her. Her body wanted more, desperately shuddering, almost as if that would be enough to make her come again. But the vibrator was too much then, and her body couldn’t find the rhythm it needed. She whimpered again, no longer caring how pathetic she must have sounded.

“Armin,” she said, her voice a breathy moan. “I need you. Please.”

The vibrator stopped and she gasped, her body falling back down to the bed. She hadn’t even noticed the arch she’d formed until her back fell flat against the softness of the sheets. There was still a certain pressure on her clit, but it was more than bearable now that the vibrator was off.

Her eyes opened again when she felt him unclasp her left wrist from the cuff. His thumb grazed over the soft skin there.

“You shouldn’t pull so much,” he said. “These are padded and you still might bruise.”

“I’ll survive,” she said.

She shivered when she felt his lips press against her wrist. It was brief and there wasn’t anything charged in it; he kissed her skin like she was delicate.

He pulled away. “Let me get the others.”

Armin made quick work of the rest of them and then he carefully moved on to the nipple clamps. She whimpered when the pressure disappeared; they were aching, but the feeling wasn’t unpleasant. Though, it might be, afterwards, once the adrenaline and arousal had faded. She propped herself off as he moved them to the side, and she met his gaze when he turned toward her, standing just to the side of the foot of the bed.

“Annie,” he said.

“Yeah?”

He pointed at her and then down to the space in front of him. “On your knees.”

Usually, after an orgasm, she was a bit clearer, a bit more level-headed. She might have had some sort of snarky comment to make. But even now, she was still needy with want, so it was easy to obey.

She hesitated. “Should this not come out?”

Armin smiled and shook his head. “It won’t fall out.” Then, he added, “I wanted to use it a little more.”

That sent a thrill through her. “Okay,” she managed.

It was a little awkward, but Annie managed to find her way off the bed, and soon, she was kneeling before him.

Armin’s hands went to his belt and she swallowed. He paused.

Annie looked up at him. “Are you getting shy?”

His lips curled. “No,” he said and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

She nearly jumped when the vibrator whirred to life again. It wasn’t as intense as it had been earlier, but it was steady, sucking at her gently, and she found herself clenching her thighs at the vibrations.

Armin dropped his phone on the bed beside them and sighed before unbuckling his belt.

His fingers found her hair, and she tilted her head to look up at him.

He smiled. “Be a good girl and make me come with that pretty mouth of yours.”

His words made her feel hot and she dropped his gaze. The vibrator was making her body hum, and the pleasure it shot through her made her hurriedly undo his pants. She gently lowered them before grabbing the edge of his briefs and pulling them down, revealing his cock. When she gripped him, he was firm and excited in her hand, and she nearly smiled at the hint of pre-cum on his tip.

Annie looked up at him as she took him in his mouth, and she delighted in the sigh that slipped out of him. His hand was shockingly gentle on her head, and she liked the pressure of it as her cheeks hollowed and she sucked him in deep. She enjoyed the feel of him in her mouth as she took him in as deep as she could, moaning against him as the vibrator worked away between her legs. She delighted in the sound that came out of him, small but thick with pleasure, and made another noise against his cock, small and whimpering, and his breath grew heavy.

His hand on her head became firmer now, and he gently pulled himself out of her mouth, all the way to the tip. Then, slowly, he eased himself back into her, and she let herself moan before his cock choked her. He stayed there for a moment, her eyes watering, and she was nearly ashamed of the spark of pleasure it sent to her cunt.

He pulled out again, this time all the way, and she made a small sound, almost like a protest. Normally, she wouldn’t have been proud of that, but now, wet beyond belief with the vibrator between her thighs, she really didn’t care how she sounded.

“Just a second,” he said gently, reaching for his phone.

He dragged his finger across the screen and holy shit; the vibrations increased again and she couldn’t help the way she cried out. Its ministrations were intense, and she found herself bringing a hand to her mouth to suppress the sounds she was making, but it was to no avail.

“Perfect,” he said before dropping his phone and grabbing her head.

She dropped her hand from her mouth and parted her lips for him, making sure to look up at him as she did. His fingers tangled in her hair, and he pulled her forward, slowly sliding his cock over her tongue and hitting the back of her throat. She moaned against him when he pulled back, giving her enough time to breathe before he slid back in. Her eyes fell shut as he continued the motion, and squeezed her thighs together, savouring each vibration and each thrust of his cock past her lips.

“Annie,” he said. “Look at me.”

Her eyes turned up toward him as he thrust deep, and she choked on him again. Her eyes watered, and she was not proud of how much she liked the feeling of choking on him.

But Armin figured it out. His rhythm was steady as he fucked her mouth, but it became forceful. He pressed into her until her lips nearly met his base, and she choked on him again, and she wondered just how sick she was to enjoy the feeling of struggling to breathe. It wasn’t something she was willing to unpack then and there, though, and Armin didn’t give her time to think any more about it, because he pulled out to his tip again and thrust into her.

She moaned when she could breathe again, and he smiled down at her. He was less composed now and she liked the way his breathing seemed to be more uneven, but he was still the one in control. That was part of the fun, though.

“You’re filthy,” he said, and his voice was dripping with arousal. “You really like this, don’t you?”

He didn’t give her a chance to answer. He changed his approach, adapting a rhythm that let him just brush the back of her throat, and she couldn’t stop herself from moaning against his cock. Why the fuck was this so erotic? Maybe it was him and his demeanour, or maybe it had a lot to do with the vibrator between her legs, making her legs shake. Maybe it was all of it. Regardless, she was sure she’d never had so much fun when giving head in her entire life.

“You’re such a good slut for me,” he said, his voice fairly breathless.

She whimpered against him, muffled, but he heard it all the same. Fuck.

Armin moaned and moved faster, and she was thrilled by the way his breathing was growing heavy. She made small noises against him, like she knew he’d like, and she was delighted in the way he groaned.

“Fuck,” he said, tilting his head back. “Your mouth is fucking perfect.”

His words sent a thrill through her, but any sound she made this time was lost against his cock. His movements were growing more erratic now, and she knew he was close to his finish. Each thrust sent a rush of heat through her and fuck, who knew giving a blowjob could be so fucking hot?

Her hands gripped his thighs, hard, and she delighted in the slight “ah” that left his mouth. He was tense and losing control, but that was more than fine with her. She’d let him fuck her mouth forever if he wanted.

“Annie,” he said, somewhere in a groan. “I’m coming.”

She made a small noise against him, almost as a signal that that was fine, and she revelled in the way he started to come undone. He could manage a few more thrusts before he shuddered, spilling into her mouth, her name like a prayer on his lips.

His cock pulsed as he came down from his high, and when she was sure he’d finished, she carefully pulled away from him, making sure to swallow as she did.

Armin looked delicious. His shoulders were heaving, and his breathing was unsteady. Had he messed his hair at some point? It looked dishevelled. She found that it suited him.

He pulled up his briefs and pants and buckled his belt, but Annie was still distracted by the vibrator between her legs. Now that there was nothing else to focus on, the pressure was insistent, and she reached down to gently pull it out.

“Don’t do that,” said Armin.

She froze and looked up at him. Slowly, he fell to his knees in front of her, and her breath caught when his warm hands found her hips. She shuddered when his lips met her neck, making her whimper at each kiss against her hot flesh.

“Don’t you want to come again?” he murmured in her ear.

Annie made a small sound she wasn’t proud of. “Yes. But not –”

“Not like this?” he asked.

Armin’s fingers ghosted over her skin as he planted a string of kisses on her throat. He was so close now – she wanted to grab him and pull him even closer, flush against her, as if that would bring her any relief. In her head, she thought it might. The vibrations were heavenly, but she could tell there was something missing. She was sure this could go on for hours and her body wouldn’t let her come. She wondered if Armin would let it go on that long. The idea was as terrifying as it was thrilling.

His fingers moved up to tease her sore nipples and she gasped. Before she could think, his lips were on hers again, and they were soft and demanding. She whimpered into his mouth and he swallowed each sound. Fuck. She knew, then, as he kissed her so softly, that she’d probably give him anything he wanted.

He adjusted again, and this time he did press himself against her, letting his hands roam over her soft skin, over her waist, and then gripping her ass. She let out a small sound at the sensation, but it was drowned in his kisses.

He pulled back and left a trail of kisses along her jaw. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

Her face warmed. “Like what?”

He kissed her earlobe. “When you’re desperate.”

“Only now?” she said, her voice breathy.

His breath tickled her skin. “You’re gorgeous every day.” He gripped her hips. “But you’re so fucking hot like this. It makes me want to fuck you.”

“Do it, then,” she said, and maybe she was challenging him too much, but she wanted to challenge him.

He hummed. “Another time.”

She opened her mouth to goad him on some more, but in her haze, she’d not paid any attention to his movements. His hand pressed against the vibrator, pushing it into her clit, and she yelped.

He smiled like a devil.

She grunted, but she let her hands find his jaw. Her touch was gentle, but her words weren’t. “Fuck me,” she pleaded.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I can’t go again so soon.”

She all but growled. “Then use your fucking fingers.”

She was being forceful, she knew, but Armin was right; she was desperate. The vibrator was just teasing her now; the sensation was too familiar and she needed him and his hands to push her over the edge.

He smiled. “Well, since you’re being so polite about it.”

Armin reached over and grabbed his phone, and in an instant, the vibrator stopped. She felt her body relax and she let out a breath before she felt Armin’s hands on her arms.

“Let me get that out of your way,” he said.

She nodded and adjusted, and gently, Armin pulled the vibrator out of her. Her breath caught when the suction part moved away from her, and she inadvertently squeezed her legs together. Armin placed the vibrator on the floor beside them before his hands found her thighs, gently pushing them apart.

“Hey,” he said. “You’re going to have to spread your legs for me if you want to come.”

Annie’s face was warm, but she obliged, adjusting so that her legs were spread further apart for him.

“You know,” he said, and she sighed when his fingers found her swollen clit. She gripped onto him, almost as if she needed to cling to him to stay upright. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be making demands, not you. You were a little domineering.”

Annie didn’t respond right away; she was too lost in the heat of his ministrations. His movements were gentle, not teasing. Maybe he’d finished torturing her for one night, after all.

“Sorry,” she finally mustered.

“Don’t be,” he said, and she shivered at the feel of his breath against her ear. “You’re so sexy when you tell me what to do.”

She couldn’t let that go, even in the fog of her pleasure. No, that wasn’t right; he was the one supposed to be in control, not her. But images still rushed through her head, things that were not part of their agreement at all: Armin, on his knees, her hand forcing his head toward her cunt; Armin, tied to the bed; Armin, with her hands on his neck, hard and desperate, begging for release –

No, she thought, no. She couldn’t think like that. Why would he say that?

Why did she like that he’d said that?

Armin pressed a kiss to her shoulder, pulling her out of her head, and she cursed as he continued circling her bud. That familiar pressure started building in her abdomen. It was a good thing that Armin was there for her to hold onto, otherwise she might have collapsed. Her knees were weak now, but she was so close …

“Armin,” she breathed, gripping onto his shirt.

“That’s nice,” he said quietly. “I love the way you say my name.”

So, she said it again, and he hummed, pressing his lips to her neck, and she shuddered.

“Please don’t stop,” she whispered.

“I won’t,” he said, and he kissed her jaw.

Maybe she’d rip his shirt at this rate with the way she was pulling it, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Armin,” she said again, her voice barely above a whisper. “Armin.”

Her fingers were shaking, and her thighs were sore, but there was that sweet pressure, almost at its high point.

Armin’s lips found her earlobe, and she bit her lips together when he gave it a soft bite. Then, he said into her ear, voice as soft as velvet, “Come for me, Annie.”

And just like that, she came on command. She shuddered against him, crying out as she came on his fingers, stars flashing across her vision. Had it not been for Armin, she might have buckled, but he was propping her up, letting her lean on him as she rode her orgasm. It was harder than the last one, and much more intense, and it took her some time to come down.

Eventually, her breathing started to settle and she rested her head on his shoulders, but her breath still caught when Armin drew his fingers away from her heat.

She noticed him wipe his fingers off on his pants and then he leaned backwards, letting his hands come up to her face.

“Are you okay?”

Annie blinked, finally coming down to Earth. She’d never noticed the variety of colours in his eyes; they were so deep, they seemed to go on forever.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she said, letting her hand rise to rest on his. “Are you?”

He laughed. “I’m good.” Then, after a pause, he added, “Did you like that?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“It wasn’t too much?”

“No,” she said, with a shake of her head. “It was perfect.”

Something happened then, but she couldn’t quite figure out what. Their gazes lingered on each other’s for a heartbeat too long, but neither looked away.

Eventually, she said, “I think I’ll need to shower, though.”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“I might need help getting in,” she said.

His eyebrows drew together. “Is everything okay?”

Her face warmed. “Yeah. My legs just feel a bit …”

Shaky, was how she needed to finish that sentence; but she couldn’t bring herself to actually say it out loud.

“Oh, right,” he said. “I can run you a bath if you’d like.”

“If that’s okay,” she said.

“Of course,” he said. “Do you need help getting up?”

Embarrassingly enough, she did, but Armin didn’t tease her for it. Instead, he helped her get to her feet, and she collapsed onto the bed, letting out a sigh.

“Thanks,” she said.

“It’s no problem,” he said. “I’ll just be a second.”

He left the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar, and then the splash of water followed not long afterwards. Annie let out a breath, letting her eyes fall shut. She was absolutely spent. She decided she would just lie there with her eyes closed lightly for a few minutes until the bath was ready …

Annie woke up when Armin gently shook her shoulder. It had only been a few minutes, but she felt like she’d been woken from a deep sleep.

He smiled. “All tuckered out?”

She pushed herself up. “No. Wide awake, actually.”

He hummed. His face softened, and he asked, “Do you want any help?”

“I think I’m fine now,” she said.

“You sure?” he said. “I can carry you if you want.”

She scoffed. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” he said.

Annie opened her mouth to retort, but she could tell that he meant it. Before she knew it, she was up in the air, in Armin’s arms.

“Armin!” she said, laughter in her voice. “I didn’t fucking mean –”

“It’s a short trip,” he said, leading them out of the bedroom.

She didn’t protest, but she wasn’t proud of the way she was hanging onto him. He nudged open the bathroom door with his knee, and she was immediately hit by something flowery. It was just the bubble bath, and he’d lit a candle, too, that was perched on the sink.

“I can get in myself,” she said, nudging his chest.

“Really?” he said. “Here I was thinking of throwing you in.”

She snorted. “It’d be one hell of a cannonball.”

He gently lowered her down onto the bathmat, and she was glad to find that her legs weren’t as weak as she thought. She dipped the tips of her fingers into the water and found that the temperature was just right.

So, she slowly lowered herself in and soon, she was submerged. The water was lovely, and she rose back up, pushing her hair back.

She sighed. “Thank you.”

Her eyes were closed, so she didn’t notice Armin was right beside her until she felt his fingers brush her hair behind her ear. “No problem.”

Annie opened her eyes and looked at him. He smiled.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No. I’m fine, thanks.”

“You sure?” he asked. “I can wash your hair for you if you’d like.”

Her eyebrows drew together. She hated how nice the idea actually sounded, but she couldn’t ask that of him. He’d done enough already.

“Why are you being so …”

He looked at her expectantly.

“Nice?” she finished.

He let out a breath. “I’d like to think I’m always nice to you.”

“No, I mean …”

Armin knew what she meant. “It’s after-care,” he explained.

Ah, right. He’d mentioned this last time. She had said she’d let him do this for her, hadn’t she? Still, she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “You don’t need to take care of me.”

“It’s not like that,” he said. “It’s just … all of the things we did were a bit intense. This is just sort of like … a cooldown exercise.”

She scoffed. “Thanks for translating.”

“But I can leave you alone,” he offered.

“No,” she said, maybe a little too quickly. “No, you can stay.”

“Okay.” Then, he asked, “Do you want me to wash your hair?”

Tentatively, she nodded.

Okay, so she shouldn’t let him wash her hair. But Armin said it was part of after-care, so who was she to argue?

His fingers were soothing as he massaged shampoo into her hair, and she let out a contented sigh. When each strand had been fully lathered, he tipped a jug of water over her head, gently working out the suds, and it relaxed her so much she could feel herself growing drowsy again. But she made sure to keep herself awake; Armin would definitely tease her for falling asleep in the bath.

When he started massaging condition into her hair, she said, “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Is this what you usually do?”

Armin paused.

“In after-care?” she clarified.

His fingers started moving again. After another beat, he said, “No. But this is … different.”

“How?”

“Because,” he said simply. “It’s you.”

His fingers disappeared, and just as she opened her eyes, her face was met with a handful of bubbles.

She blew them off her face and Armin grinned.

“I have to be extra nice to you,” he said. “You’re one of my best friends.”

“Aren’t you lucky?” she said flatly, wiping the rest of the bubbles off her face.

“Incredibly,” he said.

She took the opportunity to take a handful of bubbles and toss them at him, hitting his face and shirt. He laughed and wiped them off, shaking his head.

“Maybe not that lucky,” he said, and she scoffed.

“Do you not want a shower or anything?” she asked.

“Yeah, but I was just going to hop in once you were done,” he said.

“You can just go in now,” she said.

“Yeah, but I was –”

“You’ve already done a lot,” she said, although she could have easily sat and let him run his fingers through her hair like that all night. “I can finish up fine here.”

He hesitated for a second but then he relented. “Okay.”

Armin disappeared out of the room for a few moments, and in that time, Annie managed to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. He’d stripped his clothes off, obviously, but she couldn’t help but look away, almost as if she couldn’t look at him. But the mood had changed now, and she shouldn’t be looking at him like that after the fact.

However, once the shower started running and Armin was inside, she glanced over. The steam covered most of him, and he was turned away from her, but she watched the way the muscles in his back flexed as he ran shampoo through his hair.

She forced herself to look away, grabbing the bar of soap to finish cleaning herself as soon as possible. She was out of the bath before Armin was out of the shower, and she took her time drying off. She stole Armin’s hairbrush, but he didn’t have a hairdryer, so she did what she could with a towel, but it was still a bit damp. She was sure she’d survive.

Afterwards, she went into Armin’s drawers until she found a plain white T-shirt that just came past her crotch; that would have to do. She should have brought an overnight bag, really, but Maria’s was a fancy place, and she hadn’t wanted to drag a big bag inside. Next time.

Thankfully, Armin had taken the restraints off the mattress so, after she’d stolen some toothpaste and freshened up, she could just crawl into bed. She practically sank into the mattress; by the time Armin returned to the bedroom, she was nearly asleep.

“Is that you out for the night?”

Annie opened her eyes and caught Armin’s eyes; he’d slipped some briefs on, which made her feel a bit less strange about stealing one of his shirts.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m exhausted,” he said, and he flicked off the light.

He crawled in the bed beside her, settling down with a sigh.

After a moment of silence, Annie rolled over to face him.

“We should do this again.”

She could just make out the edge of his face in the dark. “Are you busy Friday?”

“I’m free.”

“Okay,” he said, and she felt his hand drift over hers. “Let’s do Friday.”

“Okay,” she said quietly, eyelids heavy.

The last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was the feeling of Armin’s hand pressed against hers.

Chapter Text

The sunlight streaming through the blinds was what finally disturbed Annie’s sleep, but it didn’t get her to move out of bed.

She stretched, revelling in the softness of the mattress beneath her. Since when had her bed been this soft? Her hand knocked into something solid – the harsh metal bedframe – and her eyebrows furrowed.

When she opened her eyes, squinting against the morning light, she finally remembered where she was.

A part of her wanted to roll over and pretend she hadn’t woken yet. She could easily fall back to sleep; what was the harm, anyway? But given how light it was outside, she’d definitely overslept.

She glanced over and found the other side of the bed empty. Her fingers traced the spot, but it was cold. It was then that she noticed some distant noises, almost like music, and she turned her head to find the bedroom door ajar.

After slipping on a fresh pair of Armin’s briefs, Annie found him in the kitchen, facing the stove, frying eggs and bacon, a 2000s radio perched on the counter tuned into some random station playing acoustic music. There was also a vase full of red roses on the table that she hadn’t noticed yesterday and she wondered how she could have possibly been that distracted to not have seen them.

Armin had pulled on a grey T-shirt and briefs, and his hair was still messy from sleep. She reached up and touched her head, and found it equally dishevelled. She did her best to flatten it before she spoke.

“Hey,” she said.

Armin glanced over at her and he smiled. “Good morning.” Then, he added, “You like bacon and eggs, right?”

She nodded.

“Good,” he said. “I was thinking pancakes, but I didn’t have everything in.”

“That’s okay,” she said, taking a seat at his kitchen table. “I wasn’t expecting anything, anyway.”

Just then, the toaster went off, toast popping into the air, and Armin grabbed it quickly.

“I didn’t think you were,” he said. “I just thought it’d be nice.”

Annie didn’t say anything, but it was nice. Maybe she should have felt awkward about it all, sitting at his table after last night, but for some reason, it felt almost normal. She made a mental note to not let herself get used to it – there was nice and then there was something … more. They couldn’t cross that line together.

She watched him quietly as he made breakfast, and soon, a plate of simple toast, bacon, and eggs was in front of her, along with a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks,” she said, immediately digging in.

He smiled. “No problem.”

It wasn’t long until Armin had finished making his own breakfast and sat down beside her, the chair creaking as he settled down. It was a good thing he didn’t sit opposite her, though, otherwise, she might not have been able to see him past the roses.

Annie gestured to the flowers. “When’d you get those?”

“Ah,” he said, letting out an awkward laugh, and raising his hand to his neck. “Um … I got them yesterday.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Were they on the table?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “They were just on the counter.”

She looked at them for a moment longer. “I didn’t take you as a flowers kind of guy.”

“I’m not … usually,” he admitted. “I sort of … got them for you.”

Her eyebrows raised. “You what?”

His cheeks were pink as he sliced into his bacon. “I think I was trying to be charming or something, but then I remembered you said you hated flowers, and I felt like an idiot.” Then, he added, “I was going to make you breakfast in bed. Them being right in your face really wasn’t intentional.”

She snorted. “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” he said. “I can move them out of the way.”

She shook her head. “No. I like roses.”

He paused. “You do?”

She nodded. “It’s just … some flowers. Not roses.” In the quiet that followed, she added, “Tulips are nice, too.”

“Oh,” he said. “I didn’t realise.”

She shook her head. “That’s my fault. I should have been more clear.”

Armin paused for a moment. “Oh. Well … I can wrap them up for you.”

She let out a puff of air. “You don’t have to do that. They look nice here.”

“But I got them for you,” he said. “I’d like you to have them.”

“I don’t even think I have a vase,” she said.

He gestured to the one in front of them. “Take that one.”

The vase in question was glass, with ridges and inlays forming an intricate pattern. It looked fancy, even if it wasn’t; it would surely seem out of place in her cluttered apartment.

“I couldn’t,” she said.

“It was only from a thrift store,” he said. “I have another vase.”

Annie looked at the roses again. They were really beautiful. She wasn’t sure she’d even seen roses up close like this before; the petals looked as soft as velvet, and the colour was rich. But since when was she the sort of person who loved flowers? She supposed no one had really ever bought her flowers before; maybe she was that sort of person, and she just hadn’t gotten the chance to show it yet.

“Okay,” she said finally. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” he said. “I just wish I’d been less weird about it.”

She let out a breathy laugh. “It wouldn’t be you.”

He smiled. “Suppose not.”

They continued, quietly finishing off their breakfasts as the radio announced the forecast for the day before transitioning into a Portuguese song with a soft guitar. Her plate was soon scraped clean, and after she’d put her knife and fork down on the plate, she leaned forward, resting her head on her hands. But then, without meaning to, she yawned and she had to move to cover her mouth.

Armin had just finished his breakfast too, and after placing his knife and fork down on the plate, he leaned back in his chair and asked, “Did you not sleep well?”

“I did,” she managed as her yawn ended. “If anything, I overslept.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“That’s fine,” she said, reaching for her glass of juice. “When’d you get up, anyway?”

“Maybe an hour before you,” he said. “At most. Might have been less.”

“Didn’t you want to lie in?” she asked.

“I still slept for like, nine hours,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve slept like that since I was a baby.”

“I’d still have stayed in bed longer,” she said, “if I were you.”

“You got up, too,” he said, pointedly.

“After ten hours,” she said. What she thought instead was that she’d only gotten up because he hadn’t been beside her. If he’d still been there, she might have happily gone back to sleep. That seemed like a loaded statement, though, so she kept it to herself. “I never sleep like that.”

“Me neither,” he said. “I’ve not been sleeping well except when … well, when you’re here.”

He’d mentioned that he didn’t sleep well the other day, but he’d never explained why. So, she asked, “Why not?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes, it’s just … too quiet.” He shook his head. “I guess that doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it does,” she said. “I get that, too.”

“Really?”

She nodded.

Armin didn’t say anything for a second. Then, he said, “I like you staying over after.”

A part of her wanted to tease him. She could easily say something that could get under his skin; turn his cheeks red or make him roll his eyes. She decided against it, but she couldn’t stop the slight curl of her lips.

“Me too,” she said. “Your bed’s a lot more comfortable than mine.”

He laughed. “It can’t be that bad.”

“It’s like sleeping on rocks in comparison.”

“Well, you can just stay over, anyway,” he said. “I don’t mind the couch.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I meant if it’d help you sleep,” he clarified.

“Don’t you think we’re past the point of it being a bit awkward to share a bed?” she deadpanned.

He let out a slightly embarrassed laugh. “Um, yeah. Fair point.”

She looked out of the window. Despite the chill last night, the weather seemed to have taken a turn; the sun was shining, and when it touched her skin through the glass, it was warm.

“I’ll have to bring over pyjamas next time,” she said. “And a change of clothes.”

Armin nodded. “You can bring stuff over before we meet up, you know. If you have things you just want to leave here, I have some drawer space.”

She shook her head because that was most certainly going far past what friends with benefits were supposed to do. Having her own space for clothes in his bedroom was reserved for girlfriends, not for the friends he was fucking. Even if it would make things more convenient, she wanted to be careful to not cross that line.

“I don’t need a drawer,” she said. “I have an overnight bag. If we go out anywhere, I’ll just meet you at your place.”

Armin nodded. “Okay.” Then, he added, “Do you want to borrow some clothes for heading home?”

“Your pants won’t fit me,” she said.

“Aren’t you wearing my pants right now?”

Her face warmed. When had he noticed that?

“Sorry,” she said, dropping his gaze. “I didn’t want to put dirty underwear on again.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.” Then, he added, “I have some sweatpants that might work. And I’ve got the hoodie you lent me.”

“Thanks,” she said.

He smiled. “No problem.”

She glanced out of the window again. It really was a nice day.

After a moment, she sighed and said, “I guess I’ll get going soon.”

“Oh?” said Armin. “There’s no rush.”

She shook her head. “I know, but I should get home. I told Hitch I’d pick up Brie in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah. Right,” he said.

They both stood at the same time, which would have been fine, had they not both been going to the bedroom. It took them exactly one second to realise this.

Armin sat back down. “You can go ahead first.”

Annie shook her head and settled back down. “I need you to grab the clothes I can wear.”

“Oh, right.” Armin cleared his throat and rose to his feet again. “I’ll just be a second.”

Armin was only gone a few moments, and when he stepped back into the room, he was wearing the same simple T-shirt and a pair of jeans. He smiled.

“The sweatpants and your hoodie are on the bed,” he said.

“Thanks,” she said.

She got ready as quickly as she could. The sweatpants were big on her, but they didn’t look ridiculous; it was a good thing Armin wasn’t actually that tall compared to most people. Then, there was her hoodie. When she pulled it over her head, she was surprised by how much it smelled like him. It was familiar and warm, and for a second, she found herself holding up the neck to her nose, like you smell fresh sheets, with that sense of comfort that always lingers with them.

It took her a moment to realise how fucking weird she was being before she dropped the fabric and swung open the bedroom door.

She ducked into the bathroom to survey the damage. Her makeup had mostly come off in the bath the night before, but her eyes were still smudged black. Thankfully, Armin had a facewash which made the whole endeavour a lot easier. She stole some more toothpaste and found herself really regretting not shoving her toothbrush in her handbag; other things had been on her mind, but a finger was not a good substitute.

She splashed her face with cold water again; that woke her up a bit more. She grabbed a towel to wipe her face dry when she noticed something past the bathroom door. The music was a bit louder, more pop-y, but there was something else on top of it that she recognised.

Quietly, she inched open the door, and caught the low hum of Armin’s voice, singing along, off-key, to the song on the radio.

“How I hate to see you like this … there is no way you can deny it … I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet.”

Carefully, Annie pressed the bathroom door shut behind her and crept toward the kitchen. Armin didn’t stop singing; he clearly hadn’t noticed her presence.

“Chiquitita, you and I know …”

Her lips curved into a smile. Well, she supposed, he didn’t like the quiet; she supposed he had needed to become skilled at the art of making a racket. Although, she wasn’t certain that ABBA necessarily needed to be involved in the equation.

But when she took Armin in fully, her smile softened. He was stood at his kitchen counter, carefully wrapping the roses up in the paper they’d come in. She watched him as he deftly tied a bow in the string to keep them in place, before holding them up to make sure they were secure. He never stopped singing the whole time.

She wondered now, for the first time, why he’d bothered with the roses in the first place. She supposed that it was something people did on “dates,” even though theirs had been as artificial as dates between people who were not dating could be. He’d wanted to be charming, he’d said. She thought that was stupid. He didn’t have to charm her, not when they were screwing already.

“Is this your karaoke song?” she asked.

Armin nearly threw the flowers up in the air. He scrambled to turn the radio down and placed the bouquet back down on the counter.

He cleared his throat. “Annie! I didn’t see you.”

She smiled. “I got that.” Then, she added, “So, when’s the ABBA tribute forming?”

His cheeks were pink. “I’m already in one,” he tried to joke, and he smiled in spite of himself.

Her smile turned into a grin. “I should have known.”

Annie settled down at the kitchen table again, but she stopped pushing him. He was drying off the vase now, and he reached into a bottom drawer to pull out a large paper bag and a tote bag. He used the former to wrap the vase in, before gently pushing it into the tote bag.

He turned around and placed the tote bag in front of her before retrieving the bouquet. That he passed directly to her, as gently as if he were presenting it to her for the first time.

He smiled and said, “For you.” His cheeks were still pink.

She returned his smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he said. Then, he reached up to rub the back of his neck and added, “Super Trouper.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s my karaoke song,” he said, dropping his hand. “Chiquitita’s notes are too much for me.”

She smiled. “I didn’t realise you were such a big ABBA fan.”

“Everyone’s an ABBA fan,” he said pointedly.

Annie rolled her eyes. “Some clearly more so than others.”

She went and retrieved her handbag and her clothes from the night before, which Armin had neatly folded and left on the couch, and shoved them into the tote bag on top of the vase. He called the cab for her, and they spent the time in between listening to 70s music on the radio and talking about nothing of importance. Before she knew it, the cab was outside.

In spite of her protests, Armin helped her carry her things to the cab. She supposed it was a good help – the bouquet itself was a lot larger than it had first seemed when it was in the vase. The smell of roses filled her nose as the elevator sank to the ground floor, and she could barely see Armin past them.

They put her bags in the cab first, and when she turned around, Armin hugged her. He was warm and his touch was gentle, but the shelter of his arms did something. Her heart rate slowed and she felt comfortable, far too comfortable, almost as if she could easily go back to bed and sleep the day away, as long as he was beside her.

She pulled away before she could consider it too heavily.

“I’ll see you Friday, then?” he said.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Call me if you need anything before then,” he said.

“I will,” she said, and then she was gone, squeezing into the back of the cab with her obnoxious bouquet.

Armin stood and waved until she was out of sight.

The cab driver didn’t comment on the bouquet and instead chatted to her about the weather, which was still holding up. He told her the winter was expected to be bad this year, although she wasn’t sure where he’d gotten that information from, especially considering they were barely halfway into Autumn. But she nodded along, finding herself agreeing with his statements; yes, I hate the cold; yes, I hate snowstorms; I’m sure it’ll be a tough winter.

She was glad when the ride was over and she could disappear upstairs.

She had to drop her tote at her door to rummage through her handbag for her keys, but right before the key turned in the lock, the door to Hitch’s apartment flung open.

“Look who’s happy to see you!”

Hitch was holding Brie, who started meowing at the sight of her.

“Thanks for watching him,” said Annie, pushing the door to her apartment open.

“No problem,” said Hitch. “He’s good company.”

Annie bent to pick up her tote bag and Hitch followed her inside, still holding Brie in her hands until the door was firmly shut behind them.

“How was your date?” she asked.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she placed the roses down on her kitchen table. “I wasn’t on a date.”

Hitch looked at her blankly. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I wasn’t on a date,” she said firmly, turning to pull the vase out of her tote bag. She moved over to the sink to fill it with water before placing it in the centre of the table.

“Annie,” said Hitch. “Who gave you the flowers?”

Her movements slowed, but she didn’t look up. “No one. I got them myself.”

“Huh,” she said. “Did you give yourself that hickey, too?”

Annie’s face flushed and her hand instinctively came up to her neck. She should have covered herself up with makeup, but the thought hadn’t crossed her mind when she’d been sorting out her handbag the day before.

Hitch gestured to her neck with a smile. “Other side.”

Annie dropped her hand and cleared her throat. “You’re right. I fucked the flower guy for a discount. It’s hard times.”

Hitch laughed. “Oh, come on. Who is it?”

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she gently untied the roses from the paper and surveyed them. Armin must have removed the thorns and trimmed the stems; she was debating whether she should trim them a little more before Hitch spoke again.

“I’m going to assume you weren’t with Reiner last night,” she said. “Or, if you were, I’d be really surprised. I didn’t take him as your type at all.”

She grimaced. “I’d rather eat my own toenails.”

“Then who were you with?” asked Hitch, folding her arms. “I think it’s only fair, you know, since I watched Brie for you.”

“Hitch,” Annie sighed.

“I’m serious!” said Hitch. “What if there was an emergency with Brie and I couldn’t reach you?”

It was nearly a fair point, but she knew Hitch wasn’t asking because of genuine concern and more for the sake of gossip.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” she said, carefully arranging the flowers in the vase.

“Were you with that guy?” asked Hitch. “The one that was waiting outside your apartment the other day?”

Annie felt her stomach sink. “No,” she said pointedly.

Hitch grinned. “You were!” She faux-gasped. “Annie, do you have a boyfriend?”

Her face warmed. “No, he’s just … a friend.”

“I’m not sure about you,” she said, “but most friends don’t go to Pound Town together. Unless we’re just not close enough for that yet.”

Annie scowled at her. “It’s not like that. It’s just … casual.” Then, she added, “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“But I want to talk about it!” she said. “What’s his name?”

She knew she shouldn’t tell her, but Hitch was Hitch, after all. If she didn’t tell her, she would just go and find him in her friends list on Facebook.

“Armin,” she said finally.

“Armin,” repeated Hitch, a grin spreading across her lips. “Tell me so much more.”

Annie scoffed. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” she asked.

Annie gave Hitch a pointed look. “Because I don’t want to.”

“Fine,” said Hitch. Then, after a second, she asked, “So, when did this start?”

She sighed. “Just a couple of weeks ago. It’s really nothing, Hitch. It’s not even interesting to talk about.”

Hitch was quiet for a second. “Is it just friends with benefits, then?”

Her face was warm. “Yes.”

“Right.” Then, after a second, “Annie?”

“I don’t think most friends with benefits buy each other roses.”

“Hitch.”

“I’ll drop it!” said Hitch, throwing her hands up. Then, after another beat, she asked, “So, is he … well-endowed?”

“Go home.”

“What? You said you’d tell me!”

Annie didn’t breathe easy until the door was shut behind her, but she was sure Hitch would be back at some point; she always was. She found herself looking at the roses on the table for a bit longer. She should have just told him she didn’t like daisies. However, that required a lot more explanation than she was willing to get into.

For the rest of the day, she did some chores and played with Brie. He was still tired out easier than she expected, but when he wasn’t napping, he was nice to play with. And today, he pissed next to the litterbox, so they were making great strides there.

It was only when she heard her stomach rumble again that she realised there was nothing in her apartment for her to eat.

She sighed and texted Hitch.

Me

I’m going to head to the store

Could you make sure Brie doesn’t hurt himself

Hitch Dreyse

Sure

Are you actually going to the store ;)

Me

Do you want me to give you Walmart’s number in case of an emergency?

Hitch Dreyse

I’ll Google it

Annie made sure nothing dangerous was out in her apartment before she gave Brie a little forehead kiss and stepped out of her apartment. She could have rolled her eyes at herself. That damn cat was making her soft.

It didn’t take her long to get to the grocery store; it was on the metro line and, for once, there were no delays. She plugged her earphones in and put on an ABBA playlist, before grabbing a basket and making her way down the aisles.

She got some better options for during the week; some vegetables, fruit, and even some good quality meat, but tonight, she couldn’t really be bothered to make anything. Her diet had gotten less consistent in the last month. She’d always been partial to a sweet treat or two, but she used to take care of herself better. The food didn’t concern her too much – she could take a bad microwave meal from time to time – but she had started drinking more, too. It wasn’t something she dwelled on too much, but the thought did enter her head, unwarranted, before she forced it out again.

She was just making her way to the checkout when she turned a corner and collided with someone’s shopping cart.

“Sorry!” Then, a less friendly tone followed. “Oh, it’s you.”

Annie looked up to see Porco standing in front of her, scowling behind the shopping cart. If it had been anyone else, it might have been funny – she didn’t think she’d seen anyone look so angry while pushing a shopping cart – but since it was Porco, she couldn’t even muster a smile.

“Oh, hey,” she said, pulling her headphones out halfway through Under Attack. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he said gruffly. “It was my fault.”

Porco moved to push his cart around her, and for a second, she felt like she should say something. So, without thinking, she said, “Congratulations.”

He just looked at her, eyebrows furrowed.

“On your engagement,” she said. “Pieck’s always been crazy about you. You’re perfect together.”

Porco just said, “Thanks.”

She expected him to barge by, but he was still standing there. Was he trying to think of something mean to say? She couldn’t say she wouldn’t deserve it, but it didn’t seem worth the effort.

Eventually, he said, “I don’t expect you to skip my wedding.”

Annie’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything.

“It’s important to Pieck that you’re there,” he said. After a pause, he added, his voice quieter, “It would have been important to Marcel, too.”

Her stomach sank. “Okay,” she managed. “If that’s okay with you.”

Porco just nodded. Then, finally, he started moving the cart.

She couldn’t help herself. “What can I do?”

He paused. “What?”

“What can I do to …” Annie swallowed. “To make this easier for you?” She added, “I don’t want to make you feel like this.”

Porco made a sound that wasn’t quite a laugh but was just as derisive. “You can’t.” He sighed. “Look … I’m doing this for Pieck, okay? And Marcel. Maybe I’m not being fair to you, but I just … I can’t.”

Annie didn’t say anything. She couldn’t.

Porco ran a hand through his hair. “You could apologise to my parents, for one. You never came to the wake. You never said sorry.”

She swallowed. “I didn’t think I’d be welcome.”

“No, that’s not it,” he said, shaking his head. The anger in his voice made her feel nauseous. “You were Marcel’s friend. You’d have been welcome. You didn’t want to deal with it. That’s why you didn’t come. You didn’t want to listen to my mom and dad sobbing all day and know that you caused it. You didn’t want anyone to tell you it was your fault.”

Porco stepped forward and she instinctively stepped back. She could feel her heart hammering in her throat.

He sighed frustratedly. “You know what pisses me off the most about you?”

She swallowed. “What?”

“You act so tough. Marcel thought you were intimidating at first. Did you know that?” He shook his head. “But you’re a fucking coward, Annie.”

She didn’t answer.

He sighed again. “So, yeah. Apologise to my parents. Then, maybe, I don’t know. I think I just need time.” He gave her one last glance, before he said, “I’ll see you around.”

Then, he was gone.

Annie couldn’t remember most of her trip home. Her legs had carried her back to her apartment building, almost as if they had a mind of their own. The door to her apartment was locked; if Hitch had come in, she must have used the spare key. Maybe she should have asked for it back, but Hitch had always found ways to barge into her apartment without a key, anyway. What did it matter now?

Brie was asleep in his bed when she found him. The door opening didn’t disturb him, but when she stepped in front of him, he roused. He groggily rose his head and meowed.

“Hey,” she said gently, kneeling before him.

He scurried toward her and she carefully scooped him up. He smelled like fur and warmth, and she held him tightly.

She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat that had formed, but it was useless.

Brie meowed again, loudly, and she laughed.

“What is it?” she asked.

Brie didn’t shift; he just meowed again, quietly.

She stroked his fur and he purred.

She let out a breath. “At least you like me.”

Tears started streaming down her face before she could do anything to stop them. She pulled Brie tighter in her arms, but he didn’t seem to mind. She held onto him for dear life for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

Annie wasn’t sure how she managed to get up and go to work the next day, but she did.

On her way in, she missed Pieck – she was engaged with another member of staff, one of the lifeguards, she thought, so she only managed to give her a wave. It was a relief; the idea of seeing her after yesterday made her heart sink. Admittedly, she did her fair share of avoiding herself by not going to the café during her lunch. The weather was nice, so she sat outside.

Pieck was bound to ask why she’d been avoiding her eventually, but for now, she’d not even received a text about it. That was how she’d like to keep it.

She took the day a step at a time, and before she knew it, she was done. But instead of heading home, she headed further into the city centre, even though the thought made her feel sick to her stomach.

Annie was starting to feel bad for asking Hitch to look after Brie all the time, but she’d insisted she enjoyed it. At this point, it was almost as if Brie was Hitch’s as much as he was hers. He didn’t seem to mind, as long as he was getting all the attention he wanted.

Hoover’s was about to close just as Annie pushed open the little door. The smell of flowers hit her instantly, making her momentarily feel like an asthmatic in a perfume store before her lungs adjusted. It was hard to pinpoint the individual scents in the haze of it all; everywhere she looked, there were hundreds of blooms of colour. She didn’t know enough about any of them to begin distinguishing them.

Bertholdt was at the counter, serving an old man buying a bouquet. He told the man to have a good day as he turned away, flashing him a smile as he went. He looked different, though, she supposed it had been over a month. His hair was a bit longer, a bit more styled; they always used to tease him for the way his haircut seemed to emphasise his massive forehead. His bangs were neater now, more even.

“Excuse me.”

“Oh,” said Annie, scooting out of the way for the elderly man. “Sor–”

Her voice trailed off as she caught sight of the simple bouquet in his hands, flashes of white and yellows. Gerbera daisies.

Her blood started thundering in her ears and she could have easily thrown up then and there. It flashed before her again; the squeal of the tyres, the glass shattering, the thud, the quiet, the loud, loud quiet –

“Annie?”

She blinked and it was gone. Instead, there was Bertholdt right before her, his face a picture of concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, sorry. Was just thinking about … something else.”

“Yeah,” he said. “You looked like it.”

“Sorry,” she said. “Am I too late? I know you’re about to close.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said, and he stepped past her to turn the sign on the door to read CLOSED from the outside. “Unless you wanted to buy a bouquet.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“Thought you might say that,” he said. He smiled. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

He led them into a little office space in the back, where two small sofas sat facing each other with a glass coffee table in between them. There was a desk and some bookshelves, then another door, which he disappeared through. It wasn’t long before he was back with two cups of coffee, and hers was as sweet as could be; he hadn’t forgotten how she liked it.

Bertholdt settled down on the couch opposite her with a sigh. “How are you doing, anyway?”

She made a conscious effort to meet his gaze. “I’m fine.”

He nodded. “Work okay?”

“Can’t complain,” she said. “How about you?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s good, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know, I always used to worry a lot. I thought, you know, I went to college, I got a degree; I should use it. I made a lot of money before, but … I don’t know.” He looked down at his cup. “I was worried I’d feel like a failure here. But I’m actually a lot happier.”

“Guess nepotism pays,” she said, offering him a slight smile.

He laughed. “Yeah. Not as much as insurance, but … my dad being my boss is actually a lot better than the asshole I worked for before, so …”

Annie could imagine. While everyone at the gym was nice, she knew it couldn’t quite compare to working for your own father. Well, at least, maybe anyone else’s father; her dad could arguably be worse.

Bertholdt sipped from his coffee cup and winced, muttering a “Too hot” before he settled it back down on the table.

“You’re the only one of us who’s not regressed, I think,” said Bertholdt finally.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “Well, um … I’m back with my dad, Reiner’s back with his mom … and you’re still out in the city.”

She shrugged. “My life’s here.”

“I get that,” he said. “Maybe I might not have done it if my dad was far away. I don’t know.” Then, he added, “I think I might have, but … I don’t know.”

Her dad had moved to Alaska right around her first year of college; he was doing some sort of factory work, but it paid well and he liked the environment, so, who was she to argue? She didn’t visit much, but then again, he didn’t call much, either. She tried to see him on holidays, but sometimes she wondered whether she did that because she wanted to or because she had nowhere else to go.

Annie swallowed. Even in the next room, the scent of flowers was difficult to ignore. She could stand flowers, but it was those ones, the ones the man bought in the bouquet, that she couldn’t stand. How typical that someone would buy a big daisy bouquet when she stepped through the door.

“Is it not hard?” she asked plainly.

His eyebrows furrowed. “Is what hard?”

She shrugged and looked around. “Working here. With flowers everywhere.”

His expression became more confused. “Am I supposed to be … scared of flowers or something?”

“I just thought it might be … hard,” she said. “Working with daisies. After the accident.”

His eyebrows were still furrowed before realisation bloomed across his face. “Oh. The daisies.” He cleared his throat. “I … I didn’t actually put it together. I guess you saw the most since you were driving. I was knocked out cold.”

Annie’s palms had grown sweaty. She hated talking about it, especially in detail. Every time she talked about it, it came back to her, like she was still living it. She could block it out, the harder parts, but when she started focusing on the smaller things – the sunlight on the windshield before, the song on the radio, the daisy chain – she could see everything.

And there she was again, in her shitbox of a car. Bertholdt and Reiner were shoved in the back, humming along to Can’t Help Falling in Love, Marcel’s favourite song, on the radio, Marcel concentrating on the massive daisy chain he was making. They’d been in a meadow before, private; they shouldn’t have been there, but the weather had been nice and they just wanted to hang out. The boys were drinking and since she hadn’t been much of a drinker, she drove. Marcel had been working absentmindedly on that stupid daisy chain for hours.

They were going the speed limit through an intersection because the lights were green, but a truck came from the right, running the red, and hit the rear end of her car. Bertholdt was knocked out instantly – the force of the back being hit made his head slam against the chair in front. Annie did her best to regain control of the car, but it was spinning across the road, and when it righted itself, they slammed right into a streetlight, and Marcel went straight through the windshield.

The seatbelt in the front passenger seat had been faulty. She didn’t know.

The car was filled with blood and glass and petals, and she remembered Reiner shouting her name as she tried to right herself, tried to breathe against the airbag. She couldn’t get out of the car right away, but Reiner did; she remembered his “oh, God” and him yelling, “Marcel!” Then, a few moments later, quiet.

Marcel had died on impact, but those few split-seconds must have been agony. He’d lost an eye as he’d gone through the screen, and some of his bones had clearly broken; she couldn’t forget the way his arms looked twisted. But even then, in his right hand, pinched between bloody, broken fingers, was the end of the daisy chain.

She swallowed. “I hate daisies now. It’s all I can think about when I see them.”

“Fucking hell,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. God, I’m an idiot.”

“It’s fine,” she said firmly. “You didn’t know.”

“I should have known,” he said. “I was there, too.”

“You didn’t see as much,” she said. “You said yourself.”

Bertholdt sighed and met her eyes. “I’m sorry, Annie.”

She could tell he wasn’t talking about the flower shop.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “Not that it makes much of a difference.”

His expression softened, and she found that she didn’t like it. He was looking at her now the way Reiner often looked at her, like she was a few knocks away from breaking. “How are you coping?”

She scoffed. “How do you think?”

Bertholdt didn’t say anything, but she knew he understood.

Annie bit the inside of her lip and looked down at the floor. “I drink a lot now.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Me too.” Then, he added, “Sometimes it’s all that gets me to sleep.”

She nodded. “I don’t even think that helps anymore.”

Bertholdt was quiet for a moment. Then, he said, “It’s weird. I think Reiner might be doing the best out of all of us.”

She released a breath. “God, that’s shameful, isn’t it?”

He let out a small laugh. “Yeah, it really is.”

Especially because he almost saw as much as she did. Shouldn’t he feel like that too? Then again, she wouldn’t want him to feel this way. Maybe he did; maybe he just didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to think about it.

She met Bertholdt’s gaze again. “You seem to be doing okay with yourself, though. You … look better.”

“Thanks,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I guess being back at home helps a lot. My dad’s a big help.” Then, after a pause, he said, “But it’s different for me than it is for you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “How?”

They both lost a friend in that crash. Bertholdt wasn’t one hundred percent, but even from the outside, he seemed to be doing much better than she was doing. He looked better; his skin had a healthy glow that she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen before. Had it really only been just over a month?

His eyebrows drew together. “I don’t know how to say it.”

“Say it,” she said. “I’m sure I can take it.”

He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. Then, after a moment, he said, “I know you still blame yourself, Annie. But it wasn’t your fault.”

Her stomach sank. Her gaze fell to the coffee cup in her hands; it must be getting cold now, but she couldn’t find it in her to drink it.

“I’m tired of hearing that,” she said.

“What?”

She looked up at him. “Everyone keeps telling me it wasn’t my fault,” she said. “I’m sick of it. It was my fault. It was my stupid car and my faulty seatbelt. If anyone else had taken their car, he’d still be here.”

“But Annie –”

“No,” she said. “Everyone says it wasn’t my fault, but I can tell they don’t mean that. Who else’s fucking fault is it, anyway?”

“Probably the guy that crashed into us,” said Bertholdt pointedly.

“He didn’t crash into the fucking streetlight.”

“Reiner told me what happened,” said Bertholdt. “Or are you just trying not to remember?”

“I do remember,” she said. “I crashed the car.”

“There were other cars,” he said, and his voice was so firm it shocked her. “Reiner said it was fucking unbelievable. The whole car was spinning and you managed to miss everyone else.” He shook his head. “So many other people could have been hurt that day, but they weren’t because you stopped that from happening.”

Now, that was a stretch. The only reason she hadn’t hit anyone else was pure luck – surely there was no way Reiner thought otherwise. And even then, maybe if she’d knocked into another car, it might have slowed them down. Maybe if the collision was from the side, rather than the front, Marcel wouldn’t have died.

“It was still the seatbelt in my car,” she said. “If –”

“Annie, you didn’t know,” he said. “How could you? Why would you ever be in your passenger seat?”

Her lips formed a line. “That’s not the point.”

“Maybe not. But you know what else?” he said. “Marcel would have known.”

This pulled her up short. “What?”

“Come on, Annie,” he said, his voice more tired than anything else now. “You’ve had a car. You know when the seatbelt doesn’t click in. Marcel knew that and he didn’t tell you.” He dropped her gaze, eyebrows furrowed. “If anything, that was his fault.”

Annie wasn’t sure what to say. Her whole body seemed cold, but she was still sweating – was she going to throw up? At least there weren’t any flowers in here to ruin, but she wouldn’t have felt very good about tossing up her guts on Bertholdt’s coffee table.

For some reason, in the weeks since the accident, it had never crossed her mind that Marcel might have known. When the conclusion had been that the seatbelt failed, she assumed just that; that it was faulty and no one could have known beforehand. But Bertholdt had a point; if a seatbelt doesn’t click in right, you know right away. Why wouldn’t he say anything?

The answer, really, was obvious. He’d never been in a crash before; why would he expect one bad enough that the seatbelt would need to save his life?

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad friend,” said Bertholdt finally. “I wish I’d reached out sooner. I never meant to make you think that I thought any of this was your fault.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she asked, and she was surprised at the accusatory tone in her voice. “If you never thought this was my fault, then why didn’t you reach out until now?”

Bertholdt didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, he sighed. “Honestly, I … I was angry.”

“With me?” she said.

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I was angry at Marcel.”

Her face fell. “What? Why?”

“Because … he died,” said Bertholdt. He let out a huff. “I know that sounds ridiculous. I’ve been going back and forth about it for weeks.”

Annie didn’t say anything. She watched him run his hand through his hair, staring down into his coffee cup. His brow was furrowed, almost as if there was something in the cup he was trying to figure out.

“I was really pissed off with him,” he said after a pause. “Why didn’t he say his seatbelt didn’t work? It was a five-seater car; he could have just gotten in the back. I’m so angry at him because he just … died.”

Bertholdt shook his head before taking a gulp of his coffee. Not knowing what to say, Annie followed his suit and drank a few more mouthfuls from her own cup. It wasn’t quite cold yet, but it was near enough.

“I realise how … ridiculous it sounds,” he said. “And it definitely isn’t fair, but the worst part is that I know he’d get it. I know he’d be like, yeah, sorry man. That was really fucking stupid of me. But he’s not here to say it. And that pisses me off so much.”

For a long time, Annie wasn’t quite sure what to say. Eventually, she managed, “That’s pretty fucked up, Bertholdt.”

Bertholdt let out a huff of laughter and she smiled. “I know, right? God, it’s so fucking stupid.” He sighed. “I just … I had all this anger for him, but he isn’t here to put it on. So … it’s just been here.”

He pointed to his chest, around the point where Annie often felt a strong weight pulling her down.

“I talked to my dad, and he thought I should talk to someone about it. So, I started seeing a therapist. I’ve gotten less angry, but … I’m still pissed,” he said. “I didn’t really want to talk to you until I felt like I had it under control. I said some pretty awful things to my dad in that time, and I didn’t want to hurt you, too.”

As the quiet fell around them, Annie looked down at the table, her eyebrows furrowing. For the first time, she thought about how she would have felt, had the positions been the other way around. If there was a way to feel after death, then she would have felt terrible about dying and leaving her boys behind like that.

Eventually, Annie said, “He’d probably feel awful about it, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah,” said Bertholdt, letting out a breathy laugh. “He was always like that. He was always so smart, but every now and then it was like he’d just … glitch and do something so stupid even he couldn’t believe it. Remember that time we went to that bar and he thought a drink was French and he just ordered it with a really bad French accent? It didn’t help that it was fucking Italian.”

Annie laughed, because she did. She couldn’t even remember the bar, but she remembered the bartender looking confused before he went and started making the drink, and Marcel turned around and said, “I don’t know why I said it like that.”

“Remember when he missed his flight home from college because he forgot he booked it?” said Annie, and Bertholdt laughed.

“He was ridiculous,” he said. He sighed and looked down. “I think about what he would say a lot. I keep going over it. I know he’d be sorry.”

He met her gaze, and for a second, she saw Marcel in it. His stupid slicked-back hair and dark eyes, always so astute and clinical until he just wasn’t.

“He loved us; he loved you, Annie,” said Bertholdt. “He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. If he could see you doing that, he’d feel fucking terrible.”

Annie didn’t say anything. She started down at her coffee again before taking another sip. It was ice-cold.

“I know that’s a lot easier said than done,” Bertholdt admitted.

She swallowed. Instead of acknowledging what Bertholdt had said, she asked, “Did you hear that Porco’s engaged?”

Bertholdt’s shoulders sank. “Yeah, yeah, I did.”

“Marcel helped him pick out the ring,” she said, eyebrows drawing together. “Pieck wasn’t wearing it when she told me, so I don’t actually know what it looks like.”

“I’m sure it’s nice,” said Bertholdt. “He was always good with things like that.” Then, he added, “I’m sure Porco would have needed the help.”

Annie’s lips twitched, but then her expression settled again. She looked at him. “Are you going to the wedding?”

“I think so,” he said. “If I get an invite, anyway. I’m not necessarily expecting one.” Then, he added, “What about you?”

“Porco expects me to come. He said as much,” she said. “But he said I had to apologise to his parents first.”

“Jesus Christ,” muttered Bertholdt. “Has anyone made him go to a therapist?”

Her eyes widened. “Bertholdt.”

“I’m serious,” he said, and then sighed. “Sorry, maybe that was harsh. I don’t know. But he can’t put that on you. I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. “Wouldn’t you, anyway? Maybe we all would if things were the other way around.”

Bertholdt sighed. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.” Then, he said, “So, you haven’t spoken to them?”

Annie shook her head. “I should. I just … what do you say?”

He shrugged. “I tried to talk to them. Apologised for their loss, but … I don’t know. I don’t think it did anything for me or for them.” Then, after a long pause, he said, “You don’t have to go to their wedding.”

“I do,” she said. “For Pieck.” Then, she added, “Marcel would have wanted me to.”

“Marcel would have probably hit Porco at this point if he could hear what he was saying to you,” said Bertholdt pointedly.

Annie wasn’t sure what to say. So, she just shrugged.

“He’s hurting,” he said gently. “But that doesn’t mean he should hurt you, too.”

She wasn’t sure about that, but she wasn’t about to argue. Instead, she drained the rest of her cup and placed it on the coffee table.

“I should get going,” she said finally.

Bertholdt seemed to deflate. “Oh, right.”

“Sorry for holding up your closing,” she said, rising to her feet.

He waved her off. “It’s okay. It was nice to see you.” Then, he added, “Stay in touch?”

Her heart sunk at the tilt at the end of his words. She nodded. “Yeah, I will.”

Bertholdt led her to the front door, but he stopped right before it. He spread out his arms in a way that was fairly awkward and he said, “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” she said, and she leaned into his arms.

Whenever her boys hugged her, she always drowned in them. She was far too short. It was probably the worst whenever Mikasa brought her in for a hug; she always forgot how short she was and she always ended up pulling her straight into her tits. She was glad Armin was on the shorter side; she didn’t feel so childlike around him.

When she pulled away, she said, almost without thinking, “I got a cat.”

“Oh, you did? When?”

“Just a few weeks ago. Little less than, I think, actually,” she said, pulling out her phone. She presented a picture of Brie to him.

Bertholdt smiled. “Oh, that’s cute. I never thought you’d get a pet.”

Annie shrugged. “He’d been abandoned, so … I just thought I’d keep him.”

“What’s his name?” asked Bertholdt.

“Brie.”

“Like from Desperate Housewives?”

Annie scowled. “No, like the cheese.”

“Oh,” said Bertholdt. “Um. That might be worse.”

Annie scoffed and he smiled. “I haven’t even told Reiner yet, actually. It just didn’t cross my mind.”

“You should probably give him a heads up in case he comes to your apartment and, you know, reasonably wonders why a cat’s there.”

“He’s sharp,” she said. “I’m sure he’d figure it out.”

“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “Sharp as water.”

She smiled. “Yeah, you might be right about that.”

Bertholdt opened the front door to the shop. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“I won’t,” she said.

When she stepped away from the store, she turned to give him one last wave. Then, she started making her way to the metro station, surprised at how light her chest felt.

Chapter Text

“Why the hell did you get a cat?”

Annie frowned at her phone. “What did you want me to do? Leave him on the street?”

“Do you really think you can look after a cat right now?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I’d say you sound like my dad, but you care a lot more.”

Reiner wasn’t exactly disappointed by the news she’d gotten a cat, but he wasn’t as pleased with it as Bertholdt had been. In fact, it was of such great worry to him that he’d barely acknowledged that she went to go and see Bertholdt all on her own. She supposed she could only expect so much from him.

“I just want to make sure you’re not pushing yourself too hard, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Me and Hitch basically have shared custody of him, so I’m not being as recklessly responsible as you think.”

“How does that work?”

“It works by her working from home and me not,” she said.

“Isn’t her work from home – well –”

“I don’t know,” she interrupted. “I don’t ask. She doesn’t tell. But she loves Brie, which means it’s a win-win for everyone.”

“I can’t believe you called him Brie,” he said. “I didn’t even think you’d watched Desperate Housewives.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she said. “He’s named after the cheese.”

“How is that not worse?”

Mikasa’s name flashed up on her screen.

“Reiner, Mikasa’s calling me,” she said. “I’ll have to call you back, okay?”

“Okay. But you better not have a second cat when you call next time.”

“No promises. Bye.”

She answered Mikasa’s call, switching from speaker and pressing her phone to her ear. “Hey, Mikasa. What’s up?”

“I’m heading to the gym in about half another. Wanna come with? I’ll pick you up.”

“Yeah, sure,” she said, glancing at Brie trotting around the room. “I’ll just check with Hitch to see if she can watch Brie.”

“Cool! I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.”

Annie scooped up Brie into one arm, and he meowed in complaint, but his protests didn’t last very long. She threw open her front door and banged on Hitch’s, carefully shifting Brie into her hands so she could hold him out as if she was presenting Hitch with a gift.

When the door opened, Hitch gasped. “Hey, little guy!” She took Brie from her hands and, as an afterthought, added, “Oh. And hey, Annie.”

“Hey,” she said. “Do you want to hang out with Brie?”

“Sure,” she said. “I’m going out tonight, though.”

Annie cocked an eyebrow. “You are?”

Hitch hummed. “Just a date. He might be a murderer, but it’s not entirely clear yet.”

“Let me know when you head out,” she said. “And share your location with me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said. “Where are you off to, anyway?”

“Just the gym,” she said. “I won’t be long.”

“No problem,” said Hitch, stroking Brie. “Me and Brie have a lot of catching up to do.”

“I’m sure,” said Annie, stepping back toward her apartment. “Thanks again.”

“Don’t worry about it!”

Annie only had to wait outside of her apartment building for a minute or so before Mikasa appeared. She couldn’t get parked, but she did catch sight of her, so Mikasa put her hazard lights on and stopped in the middle of the street. She waved at her to jump in.

Unsurprisingly, they were honked at when Mikasa pulled away.

“You really shouldn’t do that,” said Annie as she clicked her seatbelt in.

“What are hazard lights for if not for emergency parking?” said Mikasa.

Annie frowned. “Hazards. They’re for hazards.”

Mikasa waved her off.

It didn’t take too long to reach the gym. When they were there, they did their usual routine. It was nice going with Mikasa since she was able to do a lot more weight training than usual. It wasn’t like she was going to ask a stranger to spot her. By the time they moved on to cardio, her muscles were burning in the familiar satisfying way.

She might have been pushing too hard on the treadmill, but she was in the mood to go harder. Mikasa was keeping pace with her, and Annie was listening to some random gym playlist, most of which she didn’t care for, making sure her breathing was evening. But she noticed Mikasa turn to her, slowly down on her treadmill, and Annie had to pull her headphones.

“What?” she asked.

“What are you doing on Halloween?”

Reluctantly, Annie decreased the speed on the treadmill. “Nothing, probably.”

“No big costume plans or anything?”

Annie frowned. “Not this year.”

In years prior, every now and then, she used to get dressed up in costumes and go out clubbing with the boys. Last year, they’d all gone in maid costumes. She sincerely doubted that Bertholdt and Reiner would want to do anything like that this year and, to be honest, she couldn’t imagine a more depressing state of affairs. She was sure Reiner would be enjoying suburban life, giving out candy to trick-or-treaters and watching old Halloween movies with his mother, like they did when he was a kid. She tried to ignore how jealous the idea made her.

“Would you like there to be big costume plans?” asked Mikasa.

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “What are you saying?”

“Look,” said Mikasa, almost reluctantly. “I saw this amazing four-person costume. I need you now more than ever.”

“Four person?” she said. She scoffed when realisation hit her. “So, you’ve already roped Armin into this?”

“Roped is a strong word,” said Mikasa pointedly. “He was very enthusiastic.”

“Do you not have other friends to be the fourth?”

“Well, yeah,” said Mikasa. “But you’re my favourite option.”

Annie snorted. “Thanks.”

They were quiet for a second before Mikasa said, “So?”

She sighed. “What’s the costume?”

“See,” said Mikasa. “I’m worried you’ll say no when I tell you.”

“Spit it out.”

“Well,” said Mikasa slowly. “You’d be Agnetha.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Who the fuck is Agnetha?”

“The blonde one from ABBA.”

Annie was quiet for a long time. “Mikasa?”

“Yeah?”

“The group costume is ABBA?”

“Well, it’d be weird if you were just Agnetha and the rest of us were, I don’t know, slutty witches.”

“ABBA.”

“The outfits are really cool, okay!” said Mikasa, reaching into the pocket of her leggings to pull out her phone. At some point in the conversation, she’d decreased the speed of the treadmill so now she was only moving at a fast walk. “Here.”

Mikasa flipped her phone to show her the costumes. The girls’ costumes were fine; they were white minidresses, so short they might have even been long T-shirts, one with a more abstract illustration of a blue cat and the other with a yellow cat, both tied at the waist with what looked to be a length of satin. The boots were similar, white, and stopped at the knee.

The guys’ costumes, however, were a different matter entirely. One had white flared pants, silver shoes, and then a puffy blue shirt covered by a white short-sleeved button-up, finished off with a blue necktie. Then, by far the ugliest costume of the four was the other men’s costume. It was an ochre shirt with puffy arms and a garish striped pattern creased into the fabric, covered up by a pair of flared white dungarees with silver accents. The boots were platforms and absolutely atrocious.

Annie did her best to fight her laughter. “You aren’t making Armin wear that.”

Mikasa smiled. “Well, I’m not making him wear the platforms. We can’t all be towering over you; that would look weird.”

Annie wasn’t sure that was the only thing that would make the outfit look weird, but she didn’t comment on that. Instead, she said, “Was he even given the option of the objectively nicer costume?”

“When you aren’t going sexy for Halloween, I don’t know if it matters,” she said. Then, she added, “And he had to be Björn, because you had to be Agnetha, because you’re blonde.”

“That doesn’t seem relevant.”

Mikasa sighed as if it was obvious. “Benny and Anni-Frid were married, so me and Eren have to be Benny and Anni-Frid; and since Björn and Agnetha were married, then it made sense to have you and Armin be a pair.”

Annie felt her face warm. “I’m not sure how to tell you that me and Armin are not married.”

“I’d hope not,” said Mikasa. “I’d have been a bit upset about not being at the ceremony.” She sighed and then added, “You don’t get the lore, Annie.”

Her eyebrows furrowed.

“The lore of ABBA,” Mikasa clarified. “They all divorced, anyway, so it’s not that relevant.”

Annie didn’t say anything for a moment. It was a small thing, but she couldn’t help but grow suspicious over the implication of Armin and her being a pair. Was there a reason she’d done that? Well, it made sense for her and Eren to be a pair, so maybe it was just the default option. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder if Armin had let anything slip.

“So?”

“So what?” asked Annie.

“Will you please be a part of our group costume?”

Annie sighed. “Do I have much of a choice?”

“Did you have other plans?”

She opened her mouth, but she found she couldn’t answer.

“And,” said Mikasa, “we’ll be celebrating Armin’s birthday since it’s the week after.”

Of course it was. How could she argue with that?

So, she said, “Fine. Do you need to know my size?”

Mikasa was overjoyed. Annie used to love going clubbing for Halloween, though, this year would obviously be very different. She hoped Mikasa wouldn’t take much offence if she had to leave early. Hopefully, it would be fine; it might even distract her for a little bit. However, she couldn’t really guarantee that.

Once she’d picked up Brie from Hitch’s and thoroughly investigated her knowledge of self-defence techniques, she wasted very little time dialling Armin’s number.

He picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, Björn,” she said.

“Hmm?” The realisation hit him. “Oh, yeah. Guess Mikasa told you about Halloween?”

“Yeah,” she said. “You know, when I asked you about that ABBA tribute, I didn’t expect you to just force me into it.”

His laugh was warm in her ear. “Sorry. I should have asked in advance.”

“Was ABBA seriously your best costume idea?”

“Honestly?” said Armin. “Yes. But I’d been joking when I suggested it. I didn’t think anywhere would actually sell a group costume for that. The demand can’t exactly be high.”

“So, that’s how you wanted to celebrate your birthday?” she asked. “Public humiliation?”

He snorted. “It won’t be that bad.”

“Those dungarees are atrocious.”

“Oh, yeah. They’re criminal. But I’ll be really drunk.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “Do you think there’s really enough alcohol in the world to make that outfit feel okay?”

“Probably not.”

When she laughed, so did he; it made her chest feel warm. She did her best to ignore it.

“At least yours is nice,” he offered. “You might get a nice picture out of it.”

She scoffed. “I’m not sure we need photos of our ABBA tribute.”

She could practically feel his smile through the phone. “I think it might be something you want to remember.”

“I think I’ll be drinking specifically to forget what I’m wearing.”

Armin laughed. “Want to trade?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d rock that minidress.”

“You know I would. I’m not sure you could pull off the dungarees, though.”

“Maybe not.”

When the humour fizzled, out, he let out a breath and she was sure it tickled her ear. “What are you getting up to tonight, anyway?”

“Nothing,” she said.

Armin hummed, his voice teasing. “Exciting.”

“Oh, thrilling. Why are you asking?” She let her voice take a sultry turn. “Is this an invitation?”

To his credit, he laughed; it wasn’t derisive, but warm, like he enjoyed the teasing. “I wish. I’ve got too much work to do.”

“Right,” she said. Armin was solidly into the semester now, though he had seemed to be managing fine. He tended to be a bit more closed off closer to exam season. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“No, never. I have time now.”

She leaned back against her kitchen counter. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm?”

“Is there anything you’d like for your birthday?”

“Coming up with nothing, huh?”

“No,” she said plainly. “I just wondered if there was anything you actually wanted instead of me getting you something tacky like I always do.”

Armin almost sounded offended. “I like the things you get me.”

“They’ve been pretty useless.”

“I think that Caesar pen holder you got me last year was really cool.”

She rolled her eyes, but she smiled in spite of herself. “So, nothing, then? Just a surprise?”

“I like surprises.” Then, he added, a hint of something in his voice that was just a little too suggestive, “Don’t you like surprising me?”

She hummed. “That’s usually your speciality.”

“I don’t know,” he said, his voice making her shudder. “I think you’re quite good at it.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He hummed.

She bit her lip. “Well,” she said, her voice low. “Is there a different birthday present you want?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. “Whatever do you mean?”

She let out a small laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe something wrapped in lace.”

“Ah,” he said, and he let out a small, slightly nervous laugh, as if he wasn’t the one who had led the conversation in this direction in the first place. “Well, I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve such generosity.”

“Well, you’ve just been so generous with me,” she said. “Don’t you think you deserve something in return?”

“Hah,” he said, clearing his throat. “On the contrary, I feel I’ve been a bit selfish when it comes to you.”

“Uh-huh?”

“Yes.”

Annie’s lips curled. “It’s a good thing that’s how I like you, now, isn’t it?”

There was a long pause before he let out a breath and said, “Annie.”

“Hmm?”

She heard him swallow. “I’m really busy tonight.”

“I know,” she said, but she couldn’t help but smile. “You said as much.”

There was another pause. “I’m finding myself questioning how important my career is to me right now.”

Annie laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just toying with you.”

“I know. I like being toyed with.” He let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m being really flirtatious.”

“I can see that,” she said. Then, she added, “I’m sorry, too.”

“Don’t be.” He groaned. “I started it.”

There was something in his voice that made her face soften. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s good.” A pause. “I just … I feel like I’m crossing a line here.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “I think … I’m struggling to draw a line where our friendship ends and … everything else starts.”

“You mean, the sex?”

He hummed.

She let out a breath. “I don’t know if there really is a line.” Then, she added, “Is that a problem?”

“Well … no. I don’t know. I’ve never actually done this before.”

“Me neither.”

There was another pause. “I really can’t invite you over.”

She laughed. “I know.”

“But I really want you to come over.”

She smiled. “I know that, too.”

His exhale was deep. “Annie.”

The way he said her name sent a thrill through her. “Yeah?”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

Her pulse quickened. “I can’t wait to see you, too.”

A pause.

Armin cleared his throat. “Uh, I think I’ll go now. Before I try and invite you over again.”

She grinned. “Okay.”

“Okay. And, um, feel free to temporarily block my number so I can’t call you back.”

Annie laughed. “I can’t promise that.”

“Just lie.”

“Oh, I’m blocking your number so hard in the next five seconds.”

“Perfect. Bye, Annie.”

“Bye, Armin.”

The call ended with a solid beep, and when she placed her phone down on the counter, reality washed over her.

Okay, they were thoroughly losing sight of the line now.

Where was the line supposed to be? Maybe not turning a regular phone call into whatever the fuck that was. The fault wasn’t entirely on Armin. No, a lot of that was her fault. Still, she couldn’t say she hadn’t enjoyed it.

Though, she’d basically just wound both him and herself up with nothing to remedy it. Perfect.

Well, she thought. What else is that showerhead for?

After she’d made dinner for the night, she hopped in the shower, washing all traces of the gym that were left on her. She did her best to wash away all traces of Armin, at least, the ones she’d kept in her head, but that was easier said than done. Once she was out, skin pink and soft, and entirely satisfied, he still lingered in her mind.

She wondered how many times they had to fuck each other before the incredulousness of the situation finally left her.

Still, she managed to do her best to distract herself. Once Brie had gotten tired of playing, they curled up on the couch together and Annie stuck on some terrible Netflix show, something she wouldn’t really pay attention to. All the while, she searched online for something for Armin’s birthday, but her search was difficult. There were some things she liked, but there was nothing too special.

She wondered for a moment if his only plans were with her. Obviously, there was Halloween, but even if Mikasa said it was also for his birthday, it was a Halloween celebration first and foremost. Maybe she should try and get him something a bit more this year. What had he done last year? She hadn’t been with him, and she hadn’t asked. It didn’t help that her ideas for birthday gifts were minimal, save for the more lewd ones.

Was it appropriate to fuck your friend as part of their birthday present? This was possibly a question that not even Reddit could answer.

Annie sighed, dropping her phone and curling into Brie. He purred and she smiled. They managed to get through another twenty minutes of the show she was watching before they were interrupted.

Brie jumped when he heard the clatter outside, and the following “For fuck’s sake!” in Hitch’s unmistakable voice.

Annie immediately made for the front door, but she wasn’t sure what to expect when she opened it. What she didn’t expect was Hitch on the floor, scrambling to grab everything that had fallen out of her handbag, with mascara streaming down her face.

“Hitch?” she said. “Is everything okay?”

She sniffled, quickly shoving everything into her handbag on the ground. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

Annie knelt down to help her shove what was left on the floor into her bag. Hitch muttered a “thanks”.

“Would it be inappropriate to ask how your date was?” she said.

Hitch managed to laugh. “Absolutely.” She straightened and groaned in frustration. “He was just … such a jackass. And I don’t even know why I’m crying. I can take some rudeness, okay? But God, he was just … insufferable.”

“What did he do?”

“Just … everything,” she sighed. “He was belittling to the servers, to me … He’d seemed so nice when we were texting, and just … God, what a waste of fucking time.”

Hitch hurriedly wiped her eyes, reaching into her bag for her keys, muttering “This is so stupid”.

“Hey,” said Annie gently.

“Hmm?” said Hitch with a sniffle.

“Do you want to hang out with me and Brie?” she asked.

Hitch blinked. “Are you not busy?”

“Am I busy?” she deadpanned. “On a weeknight?”

“I thought I should ask,” said Hitch. She sighed again and added, “I’ll come over in half an hour. I just need to shower and stop crying.”

“You don’t have to stop crying,” said Annie. “But you might benefit from a shower.”

Hitch laughed. “God, you’re such a bitch. I’ll see you in half an hour.”

When Hitch barged in half an hour later, her eyes were still red, but all traces of the mascara had disappeared. She was in sweatpants and a pink sweatshirt embroidered with what looked like pixelated chickens. Annie decided not to ask.

She did, however, already have some wine ready, and Hitch took it with a “Thank God”.

Brie was happy to see her, too, which immediately lifted Hitch’s spirits. He curled into her lap and started purring, and for a second, Annie was worried Hitch might start crying again.

“He’s like a puppy,” she said. “I’ve never met a cat that wanted to be in your business so much.”

“He just loves the attention,” said Annie, sipping from her glass.

Hitch sighed. “He’s currently the only man I trust.”

Annie snorted. “Now you might be being dramatic.”

“You’ve seen the dating pool, Annie,” she said. “It’s apocalyptic. I remember thinking it would be easier to date when I was out of college – you know, because you can meet people who probably aren’t just going to up and move all the way across the country again, everyone knows what they want to do, yada yada. What happens, though, is everyone met the one in college and everyone left is just a fucking mess. These are men you wouldn’t date if they were the last ones on Earth. Like, you’d probably fuck a rusty pole just to get some satisfaction and end it quickly.”

Annie nearly spat out her wine. “I don’t know if tetanus is necessarily quick, Hitch.”

Hitch waved her off. “I’m thinking of swearing off of men altogether.”

“Jesus,” said Annie. “He was that bad?”

Hitch nodded. “He was that bad. And the guys I went on dates with beforehand were nearly as bad. I feel like they’re getting progressively worse.”

“You could be right,” said Annie. “The last guy I went on a date with – well, second last – tried to give me self-defence tips. You know, for the classes I run myself, and have for years. I think I accidentally swore off dating then.”

“Jesus Christ,” she said. “Wait, though – you said second last? What was the other one?”

Annie froze. “Oh, date’s probably the wrong word, actually. I just went to dinner the other night.”

“With your boy toy?”

Her face warmed. “He’s a friend.”

“I think it’s fair to call a friend you’re sleeping with a boy toy.”

Annie ignored her. “It was just dinner, anyway.”

“Where?”

“Maria’s.”

Hitch was quiet for a second. “Did you split the bill?”

“No,” said Annie after a long pause. “He paid.”

“Holy shit, Annie,” said Hitch, putting her wine glass on the coffee table. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I wanted to split,” she argued.

“No, not that. He can splash that amount of money on a dinner for a friend he’s sleeping with? Think about the possibilities!”

Annie’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you should obviously marry him!”

Annie sputtered. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“What? You’re clearly compatible; sexually and emotionally. Dating a guy who’s financially stable is one thing, but that is a completely other level.”

“Hitch, I am not marrying Armin. We’ve had sex, like, twice.”

“Ah,” said Hitch, leaning back with a smile. “The honeymoon phase.”

Annie rolled her eyes. “I could strangle you sometimes.”

Hitch grinned. “I think that’s why you like me. Though, don’t read into that too much.”

Annie proceeded to drain her wine glass and quickly refilled it. Hitch wasn’t long behind her.

“So,” said Hitch. “When am I meeting him, anyway?”

“You already met him,” said Annie.

“No,” she said pointedly. “Me trying to figure out whether he was your stalker in the hall does not count.”

“In that case,” said Annie. “Never, I assume.”

“Oh, come on!” said Hitch. “That’s not fair. I want to meet the guy who managed to get you to agree to do something casual.”

She scowled. “Now, what does that mean?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I mean.”

Annie’s voice was firm. “No, I don’t.”

“You’re just so … serious,” she said finally. “I’d have thought you wouldn’t be able to do something so lax.”

Annie’s frown deepened. “I’m not that fucking uptight.”

Hitch sipped from her wine glass and said, “You’re a little uptight.”

Frustration burned in her chest. She knew she shouldn’t say it, but she was adamant to prove Hitch wrong. So, she said, “You know what? I’m the one that suggested it in the first place.”

Hitch gasped. “You didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did.”

Hitch looked at her for a long time. “Oh, Annie.”

She didn’t like the soft voice she’d put on, almost like she was a wounded animal. “What?”

“Do you have feelings for him?”

Heat rose to her face. “What? No.”

“You can’t fuck a friend you have feelings for,” said Hitch with a shake of her head. “That never ends well.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not,” she said. “I find him attractive, he finds me attractive, and neither of us really wants to date right now. That’s it.”

Hitch pointed at her. “See? The dating pool is so bad you went and got yourself a boy toy from your current pool of friends.”

Annie’s face was hot. “Do you have to keep calling him a boy toy?”

“Is he not your boy toy?”

“I don’t think the label’s accurate.”

Hitch laughed. “Why not?”

Annie snapped, “If anything, I’m the toy.”

They both looked at each other in silence for a long time. Then, Hitch burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, Annie,” she said.  “What on earth are you getting up to?”

Annie took another sip of her wine. “Just … mild … BDSM.”

“BDSM?”

“It’s not that weird!”

“No, it’s not, I just …” Hitch cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t have expected you to … you know … enjoy being on the receiving end.”

She was sure her face was going to go alight any minute now. “Well, I guess I’m full of surprises.”

“And, no offence, that Armin guy really looked like he’d enjoy calling you Mommy.”

Annie nearly choked. “Oh, God, don’t say that.”

“What? It’s a free country!”

Hitch spent the rest of the night trying to pry more details from Annie, but she was fairly reluctant. On the bright side, Hitch’s mood had greatly increased; by the end of the night, Annie thought she might have forgotten what made her feel so awful when she was crying outside her apartment earlier.

When Hitch went to bed, she gave Brie a hug, and then gave Annie one, which she was slow to reciprocate.

“Thank you,” said Hitch.

Annie shrugged. “It’s no problem. You’re always welcome.” Then, she added, “You find a way in even when you aren’t, anyway.”

Hitch smiled. “You love that about me, really.”

After Hitch was gone, Annie curled up on her couch and nursed the rest of her wine, scrolling endlessly on her phone in the hopes of finding something for Armin’s birthday. It took her a while, but just when she was about to give up, something caught her eye.

She quickly added it to her basket before she drained her wine. Well, she thought. At least he’d get one nice gift.

Chapter Text

The Uber to Armin’s place was always short, but Annie was still surprised when the car slowed down before she expected it to.

Her dress of choice was dangerously short and midnight blue with a plunging neckline. She’d still opted for makeup, though it was only minimal – it would end up getting smudged, anyway – but she still wanted to put the effort in, even though they weren’t going out tonight. Since it was a Friday, Armin had offered to cook for them, and considering she’d been at work all day, she’d been thrilled at the idea of not lifting a finger.

When he opened his door, he smiled at her. He was wearing a plain white button-up and fitted black pants, but he’d mercifully left the top few buttons undone, exposing his warm skin. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, either, which made it easier to see the different hues of his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, stepping aside to let her in. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said, gesturing to her overnight bag. “I brought wine. Not sure if it goes with what you’re cooking, but …”

“I’m sure we’ll find a way to drink it, anyway,” he said. “You like lobster, right?”

“Yeah,” she said, and then her eyes narrowed. “You’re making lobster?”

“Yeah,” he said, making his way over to the kitchen. “Is that not okay?”

“No, it’s fine,” she said, her lips curling. “I just keep forgetting the tax bracket you’re in.”

Armin rolled his eyes. “You’re very funny.”

“I know.”

After a beat, he added, “I also made dessert.”

“Already?”

He nodded. “It’s just a little mandarin cheesecake. I made it last night.”

“You didn’t have to make dessert,” she said, reaching into her bag to pull out a bottle of wine.

“I said I’d make you dinner,” he said. “What’s wrong with dessert?”

“Nothing,” she said, squeezing past him to reach the cupboard where he kept the wine glasses. “I just don’t expect you to make this much effort for me.”

Armin was quiet for a second. Then, he said, “Well, I for one wanted the cheesecake.”

Annie smiled. “You could have just bought one, you know?”

“I like baking,” he said. “I don’t have much reason to do it.”

As she poured them a glass of wine each, she said, “You could bake any time.”

“I know, but most recipes are big batches,” he said. “I can’t bake like twenty cookies for myself.”

“Well, you can,” she said, handing him his glass. He took it with a quiet “thanks”. “Though I’m not sure I’d recommend it.”

“Exactly,” he said with a sigh, turning back to the stove.

Annie took a sip of her wine. “Need any help with anything?”

Armin shook his head. “No, it’s nearly ready. Just make yourself comfortable.”

Annie pulled out a chair at the table where Armin had already laid a plate. “Will I be in the way here?”

“No,” he said. “That’s perfect.”

So, she did what she was told and made herself comfortable. She nursed her glass of wine and watched Armin cook, trying to remember the last time he cooked for her. Maybe a couple of months ago? It was hard to pinpoint. Before he moved closer, they tended to order takeout if they hung out at each other’s apartments. Still, she had cooked for him before, although it had never been anything as pricy as lobster. Not for the first time, she got the sense that he might have been trying to impress her.

Though, she couldn’t quite understand why; he was already screwing her. She wondered if he thought he needed to do it to maintain her; it was a strange situation they were in, after all. She knew Armin enjoyed their little trysts as much as she did, maybe more. After all, he was the one into all this stuff. It mustn’t have been easy to find someone who enjoyed it.

Or maybe it’s because he’s your fucking friend, she thought as he turned around to grab her plate.

“It’s just a risotto,” he explained as he plated up their food.

“I like risotto,” she said. “Thank you for cooking.”

He smiled as he placed her plate back in front of her. “It’s no problem. You’ve been busy all day, so I thought it would be nice.”

As he sat down with his own plate, she eyed him over the table. She hadn’t missed that he’d lit candles; if they were scented, it was subtle, but the low light in the apartment meant that the candlelight danced in his eyes.

“Have you not been busy today?” she asked.

“Well, yes, but all of my classes were in the morning today,” he said. “I’ve just been working at home.”

“That’s still working,” she pointed out.

“It’s less tiring than teaching classes,” he said, offering her a smile. “I’m sure you understand that.”

Annie shrugged. Teaching self-defence classes was physically draining, but it tended not to impact her mentally, at least for the most part. Sitting around and grading papers for hours sounded like her own personal idea of hell.

“What are you up to tomorrow, anyway?” she asked.

“Tomorrow? Oh, nothing, really,” said Armin. “I have some more assignments to go over, but I think it’ll just be a quiet day. What about you?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “Why didn’t you invite me over tomorrow, then?”

“Hmm?”

“We’ve been doing Saturdays until now,” she pointed out.

“Oh,” he said. “Well, um … I guess I didn’t want to take up most of your weekend.”

Annie snorted. “Yeah, like I’d be really busy, anyway.”

Armin was quiet for a while. Then, finally, he said, “I wanted to see you sooner.”

She looked up from her plate. Armin wasn’t looking at her, but in the candlelight, she could make out a faint flush on his face.

“Oh,” she said, rather dumbly.

“Sorry,” he said, making an active effort to meet her gaze. “Um … was that an inappropriate thing to say?”

Annie shook her head. “No, of course not.” Then, she added, “I just might be less energetic than normal.”

His smile was so warm she could practically feel it on her skin, like sunlight. “I’m sure I’ll have enough energy for the both of us.”

And just like that, her body went hot. She cleared her throat and smiled. “I hope that’s true.”

“I’ll be happy to prove it to you,” he said.

“Please do,” she said.

His smile was so devilish it sent a thrill through her.

The mood simmered slightly as they finished their dinner, shifting to gentler topics, and Armin’s laughter made her heart feel light. When they finished and moved on to dessert, Armin tried to protest her cleaning up, but Annie was adamant. He’d cooked everything, and, anyway, would he really want his apartment to smell of seafood?

“I don’t want you to ruin your dress,” he said.

Annie scoffed. “Like it’ll be on for very long.”

When she was met with silence, she turned away from the running water to see Armin serving the cheesecake, his face a pretty pink.

He cleared his throat. “Fair point.”

She smirked. “Thought so.”

She left the dishes to dry and rejoined Armin at the table, who’d just finished his glass of wine. Annie reached over to top it up again and he smiled and gave her a small “thank you”.

While dinner had been wonderful, when she forked the first mouthful of cheesecake into her mouth, she couldn’t believe how nice it was. It was so delicious, in fact, that she could barely believe that he’d made it at all.

“It’s just cheesecake, Annie,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s a really easy recipe.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not fucking delicious,” she said, covering her mouth as she chewed.

“Well, thank you,” he said. “It was my Grandpa’s recipe.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “I didn’t know he baked.”

He shrugged. “From time to time. He had some staples.”

“Did he make any other cheesecakes?”

He smiled. “I can make you some of the others at some point.”

“God, please.”

He shook his head, but he was still smiling. Then, his face softened, and he said, “Annie, you’ve got …”

Armin gestured to his face around his lips, and Annie reached up, but she seemed to miss the mark.

“Wait,” he said, standing up. “I’ll just get it.”

He stepped around the table and cupped her jaw, letting his thumb rise to wipe the cheesecake from around her mouth. But there was something so warm, so familiar about his touch, that it sparked something in her. So, when his thumb drifted over her lip, she parted her lips and took it into her mouth.

Armin seemed to stall then, and she took the opportunity to lick the cheesecake off his thumb, swallowing, before taking his thumb all the way in, down to the joint. She didn’t look away from him once.

When she pulled away from him, her lips just at the tip of his thumb, Armin’s brain seemed to catch up, and he pushed his thumb back into her mouth.

She made a small noise against him, and he dragged his thumb back before thrusting it into her mouth again. His eyes were dark now and the way he looked at her sent a rush of excitement to her core.

After a few more languid thrusts, he pulled his thumb out of her mouth and cupped her face. She leaned into his touch.

“Annie?” he said, his voice firm.

“Hmm?”

“Finish your dessert so I can fuck you.”

She smiled at him. “Yes, sir.”

Heat rose to his face and oh, he looked absolutely delicious.

He shook his head, but a smile rose to his lips all the same. “Behave.”

She leaned forward, placing her chin on her hands, elbows resting on the table. “Make me.”

Armin held her gaze in a way that set her body alight. He cocked his head. “I think you should be careful playing games you don’t quite understand.”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she picked up her fork and slowly lifted another mouthful of cheesecake to her lips, making sure to slowly draw the fork from her mouth. She didn’t look away as she swallowed. She did it again with the last piece on the plate, even slower this time.

Armin shook his head, but he didn’t say anything further. Instead, he made his way around the table, and her body tensed when she felt him standing behind her. His fingers fell to her scalp, gently, before slowly trailing down to her shoulders. His hands were electric.

She shivered when he carefully moved her hair over her shoulder and leaned in to press his lips to her neck. It was like fire on her skin.

Armin’s lips pressed to her neck again, trailing up to her ear, where he whispered, “Go to the bedroom.”

There was no point in disobeying. As Armin stepped back, she rose to her feet, casting a glance at him over her shoulder before she slowly made her way to his bedroom.

He was only a few steps behind her, flicking on the light switch as soon as she stepped into the room. It wasn’t like last time; nothing was set up, at least nothing she could see. It made her pulse quicken.

His hands appeared at her hips then, and he pressed himself up against her, his mouth finding its home on her neck again. She let her eyes fall shut.

The press of his hands was stronger as he nipped at her skin, and she shivered as the kisses he left on her flesh grew rougher. His hands moved up to squeeze her breasts, and she sighed at the contact.

He pulled back, his hands ghosting over the fabric of her dress. “Take this off for me.”

She felt herself smile. “Can’t you do it?”

“I can,” he said. “But I want you to.”

Armin stepped away as she reached behind her for the zip of her dress. Despite what he’d said, he helped her shimmy out of it, though, she didn’t think it was for kindness’ sake, but more that he was eager to get her out of her clothes.

When the dress hit the floor, she kicked off her shoes, but before she could step anywhere, Armin gently grabbed her hips, turning her to face him.

His fingers trailed over her, over the lace of her bra, which was the same deep blue as her dress and mostly sheer. His touch was gentle, surprisingly so, and she bit her lip when he curiously traced his thumb over her nipple through the fabric. His other hand found her hip, lightly toying with the thin material of her thong there, and he smiled.

“This is pretty,” he said. “I wish you could keep it on.”

“I can’t?”

Armin shook his head. “Not with what I have in mind.”

Her heart rate picked up. “What do you have in mind?”

His smile made her stomach flutter. “Let me show you.”

He gently pushed her back toward the bed, guiding her to sit on the edge. She found his movements with her strangely tender, but she was certain it was because what he had planned might step things up a notch.

She watched as he knelt before his box, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. It was only a moment before he returned to the bed and placed what he had collected beside her.

He settled on the bed as well, with the objects separating them. He could reach out to touch her when he was this close, but he didn’t. She found herself wishing he would.

“Do you know what everything is?” he asked.

She looked down at the objects between them. There was a restraint, no, two restraints; each of them had fabric intended to wrap around wrists and ankles, as well as chains, although they seemed more for aesthetics at first glance. The one intended for the wrists had a large circle of metal, almost like where something could be clipped into, and the other side of it held a chain attached to what appeared to be a collar. Beside those was what looked to be a gag. She could have rolled her eyes; she’d seen the traditional ones with red balls, but this one was shaped like a heart. Surely it was more impractical, but it was just like Armin to go with something a touch softer. There was also something else, something that reminded her of a spur on a pair of cowboy boots, attached to a handle; it was wider than a regular spur, though. Beside that was what looked like a flogger.

But then, just when she thought she’d taken everything in, she saw something else, something she recognised but had definitely never seen used before, not even in porn. It was a curve of steel, almost like a hook, with a metal ball on the end. The ball wasn’t too large, but it wasn’t insignificant.

“Mostly,” she said and pointed to the spur-like device. “I’ve never seen that before.”

Armin reached over and grabbed it, spinning it in front of her. Up close, she could see how spikey it was.

“Wartenberg wheel,” he said. “It’s technically a medical device, but it’s just a sensation thing.”

She nodded. “It doesn’t … you know …”

He shook his head and then took her hand. Gently, he pressed the end of it to her palm and rolled it over her skin. It nearly tickled.

“Anywhere except inside you, really,” he said. Then, he pressed harder; its ticklish sensation vanished and was replaced by a persistent pressure, one that was strange but not unwelcome. “I know you said you don’t want to be tickled while restrained, so I’ll try and use a bit more pressure.”

Armin placed the wheel back on the bed, and Annie said, “I think it depends on the restraints.”

He met her gaze.  “They won’t be the same as last time.”

“I figured,” she said, then gestured to the hook. “So … where does that …”

Annie trailed off, suddenly feeling out of her depth. Well, that was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it?

His smile nearly made her shudder. “Where do you think?”

Her pulse quickened. “I’ve got an idea.”

Armin gently reached for the restraints, the ones intended for the wrists, and leaned over toward her. Gently, he wrapped them around her wrists, and she had to hold her wrists together to be strapped in. The chain came down to her stomach and the chill of it made her shiver.

When Armin picked up the hook, her stomach sank. He attached it to the end of the chain, holding it out in front of her crotch.

“It goes inside you,” he said.

“Is that all?”

He smiled. “If you move, it gets deeper.”

Her face warmed. The tickling could be a problem, then. “Oh.”

“Oh?” he said.

“Oh,” she said again, and he smiled at her.

He reached forward and unclipped the hook before quickly undoing her restraints. “Not yet, though.”

“No?” she said, watching as he placed the toys back on the bed.

“No,” he agreed, and then he moved, and before she knew it, he was kneeling in front of her.

He reached up and grabbed the fabric at her hips. “Up,” he instructed.

She lifted her hips so he could remove her underwear, tossing it behind him. Then, without warning, he forced her hips forward, and she yelped, but that sound quickly disappeared in her throat because his mouth was on her cunt.

“Fuck,” was all she could manage to gasp because it was taking her brain a little too long to catch up with what was happening.

Her hands gripped the bedsheets as he kissed her clit, sucking at her and caressing her with his tongue. As she grew accustomed to her position, she was almost surprised by how … normal it was. She knew they had more intense things coming up – her hand kept knocking into the hook beside her – but she hadn’t expected him to want to make her come like this so soon.

Not that she was complaining. Armin’s mouth was heavenly between her legs, and each movement of his lips sent stabs of pleasure to her cunt. He gripped her thighs, lifting them higher, and her breath caught. Before she knew it, her legs were over his shoulders, his face crammed in between her thighs, and her body was electric with pleasure.

She kept herself propped up with her left hand, but she tentatively reached forward to curl her fingers through his hair. Her grip was a little too tight, and she was sure he’d berate her for it, but instead, he moaned against her heat, sending vibrations through her, and she nearly cried out.

His lips left her clit then, and she nearly complained, even though it was bound to get her punished. But then, before she could even form words, she felt his tongue at her entrance, and he pressed it inside her.

“Oh, God,” she moaned, pulling her hand away to support herself.

His tongue was gentle and persistent, and he fucked her with his mouth in a way that made her toes curl. When he stroked the more sensitive part of her, she whimpered, feeling sparks of pleasure tingle through her veins. He was teasing and generous all at the same time, and she was so wet against his mouth now, but Armin didn’t seem to mind; in fact, given how steadily he worked away at her, he seemed to relish in it.

When his tongue left her, she felt hollow. She made a small noise of protest, hand reaching down to do something, she wasn’t quite sure what, but Armin grabbed her wrist and held it in place.

“Tell me when you’re about to come,” he said firmly.

She bit the inside of her lip at the sight of him. His hair was dishevelled and her wetness shone on his mouth; he looked fucking delectable.

She nodded. “Okay.”

Armin dropped her hand, returning his to the position of keeping her legs in place, and she fell back as his mouth met her clit again.

He kissed her cunt perfectly, each lick nearly making her tremble, making her want to press ever closer to him. When she did just that, lifting her hips to meet his mouth with more force, she expected some sort of pushback, or maybe even some sort of threat of punishment. Maybe he’d push her back down, maybe he’d stop altogether, maybe he’d make her beg. Instead, he moaned against her cunt, making her gasp at the sensation, and, tentatively, she began grinding against his mouth.

He managed to keep kissing her clit in a way that matched the tiny juts of her hips, and she suspected that this was exactly what he wanted her to do. Pleasure was building like a fire in her abdomen, and each movement brought her ever closer to her peak.

Her fingers were tight in the bedsheets now, and her breathing was already heavy. Every other breath seemed to be dissolving into a quiet moan or a desperate gasp; since when had she been so loud? Maybe it was part of the role she was playing; maybe it was just Armin.

“Ah,” she gasped, feeling a particularly deep stab of pleasure. “Oh, God.”

Armin parted from her for only a moment, coming up for air, and the sound of his voice and his warm breath against her cunt nearly made her shudder. “Fuck.”

She whimpered when he met her clit again, her hip movements becoming a bit more desperate, and it didn’t help when Armin kept moaning against her folds like that. That pressure inside her was building to a burning intensity now and she was so close to her peak that her eyes were burning.

Then, with another few rolls of her hips and precise kisses from Armin, she could feel it. “I’m gonna come,” she gasped.

Armin gripped onto her legs, keeping her body firmly in place, before kissing her cunt deeply, and she cried out. He caressed her clit with his tongue, again and again, and then suddenly, there it –

He pulled away without warning and she gasped, inadvertently jutting her hips, like her body had a mind of its own, desperately trying to find a friction that wasn’t there.

“Fuck,” she swore. “Why did you stop?”

Armin wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, pushed her legs out of the way, and rose to his feet. The sight of his cock, hard in his pants, made her aching cunt throb. “I didn’t want you to come yet.”

It took seconds for her chest to burn with rage. Had he just fucking edged her? No one had ever done that to her before. And why would they have, anyway? Most people didn’t like tormenting their partners. Armin was clearly different.

“You’re kidding,” she said, making no effort to mask the frustration in her voice.

Armin smiled down at her. “Why would I be?”

She bit her lip to stop herself from snapping at him and moved up the bed. Once she was comfortable, she wasted no time in pressing her fingers to her desperate clit, not caring about the fact he was watching and started circling. She was too pissed off to care.

But there was his hand again, firm against her wrist, pulling her away.

“What the fuck is your problem?” she snapped, but she didn’t fight against his movement.

Armin climbed onto the bed, in between her legs, and guided her hands above her head. “Now, now. I don’t think there’s any need to swear at me.”

She nearly growled. “You’re an asshole.”

He smiled and she hated how her body reacted to it. The pent-up pressure in her cunt was waning now, but she made an effort to spread her legs wider in an attempt to get him to press himself against her, to line up the bulge in his pants in just the right way to give her the friction she desperately wanted. No such luck.

“Insults as well?” he said, and she rolled her eyes at him. “And not a very creative one, either.”

“Sorry, professor,” she practically hissed, hoping the word would make him uncomfortable.

His eyebrows rose for a second, but he laughed at her. “Definitely not an insult, but if you say that again, edging certainly won’t be the worst thing you go through tonight.”

She decided to ignore him and take matters into her own hands. She couldn’t move her hands, not with him holding her wrists like this, so she did her best to lock her legs around him. He slowly leaned in closer to her, but not as close as she’d like, leaving her to squirm against him, lifting her hips to graze her swollen clit against the bulge in his pants.

Armin let out an unsteady breath and she was pleased with the result. She rolled her hips against him, whimpering at the small amount of friction she found there, and did it again, trying to seek some relief, but it wasn’t enough.

She grunted in frustration and she could feel Armin’s eyes watching her, filled with arousal and amusement at what she was doing. She wanted to snap at him, to tell him to do something, but then, he rolled his hips into hers, pressing his cock just when she needed it to be, and she let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a gasp.

That was all he gave her, though. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her neck before he pulled back and said, “You know, I could easily watch you fuck yourself on me like this all night, but I had other plans for you I’d like to get to.”

She bit her lips together to stop herself from snapping at him again. Then, she said, as evenly as she could manage, “Get to them, then.”

The frustration in her voice wasn’t lost on him, and it made her even angrier at how amused he was by it. She wanted to curse him even more, but she knew she had to bite her tongue. Who knew when he would let her come if she pushed her luck too much?

When Armin stood, she could see her wetness on the front of his pants, right when his cock strained against the fabric, and her mouth went dry. But Armin didn’t give her eyes time to linger, because before she knew it, he was around the side of the bed, helping her shimmy out of her bra.

His touch was surprisingly soft, and the lightness of the press of his fingers nearly made her shiver. She hoped he didn’t notice, but if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. The gentleness of his touch made the frustration in her chest start to ebb away, too. Once the bra had been tossed in the vague direction of her underwear, he grabbed the wrist restraints and turned back to her.

“Here,” he said, his voice taking a tender note.

She held her hands out to him in the way he directed, letting him cuff her wrists together. He was careful not to tangle her hair when he put the collar around her neck. It wasn’t tight, but there was a gentle pressure there that she couldn’t ignore. She went to relax her arms, thoughtlessly, before she realised she couldn’t; the chain connecting the collar and the wrist restraints meant that she had to hold her arms just in front of her chest.

“Okay,” he said gently. “I’m going to need you to lie back, okay?”

She did as she was told, but Armin took a few more seconds to retrieve the lube from his bedside drawer. His finger was cold and slick before he pressed it inside of her, and he only thrust into her a few times before he added another finger, pulling a contented sigh from her. After another few rhythmic thrusts, he pushed a third finger inside her, and she whimpered at the languid drag of his fingers as he hilted inside her.

She felt empty when he pulled out of her, but she was easily distracted by the flash of steel as he picked up the hook from the bed.

“I’m going to put this inside you now, okay?” he said, carefully slicking the ball at the end of the hook, along with the thin metal following it.

She nodded. “Okay.”

She let her eyes fall shut at the cool press of it at her entrance. It was a little larger than she expected, but the resistance was slight, and soon it was inside her.

It wasn’t very deep, but she was sure that was deliberate. Even when Armin reached for the chain to connect it to her restraints, it shifted as it was clicked in. She couldn’t help but whimper.

“Okay?” asked Armin.

She nodded and did her best not to shift. It was unfamiliar, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable sensation. It made her want to clench her thighs together to feel a bit more, but she didn’t want to push her luck just yet. With the way it was positioned, it didn’t quite touch her clit; she was sure that was intentional.

“Okay,” he said, reaching for the restraints to tie her ankles together.

They didn’t seem to attach to anything, which she was grateful for, but she couldn’t move away now even if she wanted.

Armin stepped away and tilted his head. “Do you think you can sit up?”

She could, in theory. But that hook inside her would definitely shift, and it would do so abruptly.

“Maybe,” she said finally.

He smiled. “Try.”

She held his gaze for a second before she made her move. There was no way she could move slowly; it had to be swift, in one motion. So, without hesitation, she rolled herself forward, pulling herself up.

She gasped as the hook shifted further inside her. She bit her lips – had she even reached the end? How much further could this thing go?

“Thank you,” he said, moving to stand in front of her.

The gag was in his other hand. She levelled his gaze.

After a second, she said, “What are you going to do with me?”

His smile was devilish. “What you wanted.” His fingers came to trace her bottom lip. “Open your mouth.”

Her face flushed when he put the heart-shaped gag in place, but he said nothing about it. He was careful not to get her hair caught as he secured it to the back of her head, and then, everything was in place. She was completely at his mercy.

“Do something for me,” he said.

She just looked at him. It wasn’t like she could really speak.

“Say your safe word,” he said.