Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ryan collapsed onto the bed besides James, panting heavily. 

“Holy shit.” James said breathlessly, rolling over to nuzzle into Ryan's neck.

Ryan hummed in response, inhaling sharply when James started nipping at his neck. “James…” 

“Yes Ryan?”

“We can't- no marks.”

“No visible marks.” James mused, moving to his shoulder. 

Ryan noticed that James seemed to be obsessed with his muscles. He'd leave a bite or hickey on his shoulder, biceps, thighs, his chest and hips. James continued his descent down Ryan's body, lips grazing his hip when their phones went off. 

James groaned and sat up, reaching for his phone. “Leif needs us in the hangar. Says we need to work on your ship's engine and controls.” He crawled out of the bed, reaching for his discarded uniform and handed Ryan his own. The two got dressed in silence, backs to each other. “So, uh, you wanna walk there together or…” James asked, trailing off.

“You sure?” Ryan asked, pulling on his jacket.

James rolled his eyes, fixing his sleeves. “No one’s going to know we just fucked if we walk into the hangar together. They’ll assume we justo so happened to be in the same place, as teammates are, when we got her message. Or they won’t assume anything at all because we’re in the hangar all the time.”

Ryan nodded, brushing something off his pants leg. “Right. Yeah, let’s go.”

The two headed to the hangar silently, stopping at Ryan’s MFE. A tablet and tool box were next to it, and they could see Leif’s blonde hair in the cockpit.

“Leif! What's wrong with it?” James called, making her head snap up.

“There you are. I fixed the controls, but figured you’d better do the engine. The coolant-'' Her tablet beeped and she frowned, swiping at the screen. “Actually, it’s on the analytic report. Something’s come up. I know you two can figure it out.”

With that, Leif hopped out of the cockpit and ran out of the hangar.

“Weird.” James muttered, watching her go. “Well, let’s see what’s wrong with it now.”

They shed their uniform coats, setting them on the tool cart and beginning to remove the engine panel.

“Hey, look up boys!” Nadia yelled.

The two pilots did as she said, and Ryan’s heart froze. A branch of mistletoe hung from the wing, and when he looked back down, James was looking at him expectantly. “I think this is the part where we kiss.”

“You sure?” Ryan asked.

James grinned, stepping closer and placing his hands on Ryan’s chest. “You literally just had your dick in my ass, a kiss is more than fine.”  

Ryan placed a hand on James’s face and met him halfway, kissing him softly. He started to pull away, but James grabbed his uniform jacket, keeping him close and deepening the kiss. In response, Ryan threaded a hand through James’s hair and wrapped a hand around his waist, pulling their hips together. 

Nadia whistled at them, and he felt James smile against his lips before pulling away. “That was some kiss.” He told him with a grin, letting go of his shirt. James’s phone trilled and he pulled it out, rolling his eyes when he saw the message. “Ugh, Hendricks wants to talk to me about our last mission. I’ll see you later, ‘kay?” 

“Okay.”

James pulled away, and Ryan watched him leave, a smile on his face.

“Well, I might be wrong, but that looked like more than a friendly kiss.” Nadia said, walking over.

“Shut up.” Ryan mumbled, turning to his ship and yanking off the mistletoe.

“I’m just saying, most people just do a lil peck. You two were seriously sucking face. Add that to the fact that you guys fuck all the time and you’ve had a giant crush on him like, forever.”

“Well well well, who was that?” A voice asked, and Ryan spun around.

“Mom! Dad! Hi!”

Ryan’s parents smiled, and Nadia’s eyes ballooned. “Mr. and Mrs.Kinkade! It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Hi darling, you must be Nadia. We’ve heard so much about you.” Mr.Kinkade said, reaching out to shake his hand before turning to his son. “I know PDA is supposed to be forbidden in uniform, but after that display I’m going to assume it’s okay to hug you.”

“Yeah, of course.” Ryan said, stepping forward to embrace his father.

“And who was that?” His mom asked.

“That's just James.” Nadia answered.

“And are you and James …” Mrs.Kinkade asked, trailing off.

“Uh, kinda.” Ryan replied sheepishly.

“So will we be seeing him when you come home for Christmas, right?”

Ryan blinked a few times before replying. “Yeah, yeah, he’ll be there.”

“Good.” She smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “We’ll see you then.”

“Wait, don’t you want a tour?” Nadia asked.

“Oh no, we just came to the hangar to make sure he was coming home. We’re actually meeting some friends for dinner. It was nice meeting you. Bye son.” Mr.Kinkade said, waving at his son. Him and his wife left arm in arm, and as soon as they were out of earshot, Nadia burst out laughing.

“Holy shit, you’re fucked.”

“Shut up.” Ryan grumbled.

Nadia picked up the mistletoe, waving it at him. “Maybe you should take this with you for luck. I’m sure Griffin will kiss you wherever you put it.”

“RIZAVI!”

Chapter Text

“Wait, you what?” James asked.

“My parents think we're dating and invited you over for Christmas.” Ryan said again.

James stood up, pacing up and down the room. “So, to be clear, because they saw us kiss once, you parents now expect me to be at your house for Christmas?”

“Yes.”

“And we’re supposed to be all coupley and shit? Like hold hands and kiss and all that?”

“Yes.”

“For a week? Assuming we don’t get called back to base?”

Ryan rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, yeah.”

James ran his hands through his hair. “And you couldn’t tell me this before we made out?!”

“Well my parents aren’t exactly the first thing on my mind when you kiss me.” Ryan defends.

James flushed a bright pink, stopping his pacing to glare at him. “You’re not helping.”

Ryan put his hands up in an ‘I don’t know what you want me to do about it’ gesture. “Look, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can tell them you couldn’t get the time off or something.” Ryan offered.

“No, I’ll go. I just- need some time to process.”

“Yeah, of course.”

James quickly left and Ryan looked after him before sighing and falling back on his bed. Nadia was right. 

He'd liked James for months now. They'd drunkenly made out once during the invasion, and things had just grown from there. Almost nightly they were tangled in each other. 

After Allura sacrificed herself, and they'd stripped down to their underwear, instead of fucking like they normally would, they'd just laid in Ryan's bed, staring at each other.

“You have really pretty eyes, you know.” Ryan had mumbled. “Like amethysts. And a nice smile. You don't smile often, but it's nice when you do. I'm surprised you're with me.”

“Ryan, have you seen yourself? You're gorgeous.” James whispered. 

That had shifted their entire relationship. They'd talk after, staring up at the ceiling of whomever's room they were in. It was mostly meaningless conversations about whatever was happening on the ship that week, or gossip James had gotten from Keith, who was apparently his best friend, and had been for years. 

Slowly but surely, Ryan developed feelings for James. Big, messy, almost in love feelings. But he couldn't be in love with someone he wasn't even dating, could he?

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, after lots of makeouts and late night conversations, it was time for James and Ryan to leave for his parents house. 

They put their bags in the trunk, slamming it shut. “You can still back out, you know. I can say something last minute came up.” Ryan offered, turning to James, who shook his head.

“No, I’m fine. I'll have to meet them eventually. Let’s- let's just go.” He insisted, climbing in the jeep.

Ryan got in the driver's seat, turning it on and pulling out of the hangar. They left the base in silence, some pop song playing faintly.

Ryan glanced over at James a few times, who was staring out the window.

“It’s a 14 hour drive. We might as well talk. Come up with a story.”

James shrugged. “We don’t really have to. We met here, I thought you were attractive and flirted a bit, and things just happened.”

“So we tell them the story of how we became fuck buddies and then caught feelings?”

James laughed, finally looking at him. “No dumbass. We’ll tell them… we went to the Clear day festival as our first date. And I won you that ugly ass stuffed animal, which I know for a fact that you sleep with. I've tripped on it on my way out of your room.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, looking back at the road.

“Then we can tell them about when we went to New Altea.”

“For the Allura Day Ceremony? When we went to the juniberry fields?”

“Yeah. And you took a million pictures. And how we watched the fireworks together in the Castle that night, and you asked me if we could be official.”

Ryan nodded. “Right. And we'll leave out the part of me fucking you so hard you couldn't walk the next day.”

“Here I am, trying to be all romantic and shit, and you keep talking about all the times we've fucked. Unbelievable.” James huffed, crossing his arms.

“I- I’m not trying to imply that- I just, we do that a lot and yeah we talk but most of the time we” Ryan stammered, looking over at James, who was trying not to laugh. “Oh I see, you’re just fucking with me. Thanks.”

“I’m sorry.” James laughed.

“Fuck you.” Ryan grumbled.

“In the car? I’m all for it, but not while you’re driving.”

Ryan’s jaw dropped as he looked incredulously from James to the road. “Did you- you’d- in the car?”

James burst out laughing. “I’ve done it before.”

“With who?”

“Keith.”

“WHAT?” Ryan exclaimed.

“Yeah. We dated back when we were teenagers. Before Kerberos and everything.”

“Wow. Okay. I never would’ve expected that. How long?”

“About two years. Teen love and all that. We’re good though. No messy feelings, no weird longings. Just a lot of history.”

“So, should I be jealous? Worried about him stealing my boyfriend?” Ryan joked.

“God no.” James laughed. “No. I love him and all, but we’re not like that. Like- we love each other, but we’re not in love. If either of us have some stupid shit we want to rant about we’ll go for a drink. Or if we’re pissed about something we'll beat the shit out of each other or training bots. But we'd never kiss or anything like that again.”

“So, to quote Grey’s Anatomy, he’s your person?”

James chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

They rode in silence for a while, stopping at a gas station and switching spots.

“I’m not all work and sex, ya know. I do like other things.” James said, putting on his silver aviators and adjusting the mirrors.

“Like?” Ryan asked, opening a bag of chips.

James shrugged, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. “I like flying. Riding my hover bike. Country music.”

“Country? Really?”

“Country is one of, if not the best music genres and I will not take criticism on that. Actually, get my phone. I have a Playlist.” James said.

Ryan wiped off his hands, picking up James' phone, turning it on to see a photo of the sunset outside the Garrison. “Password is 727895. Open Spotify. Should be the first one.”

“Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?” Ryan joked.

Two hours later, James was singing along to George Strait's “Here For a Good Time”.

“I ain't here for a long time

I'm here for a good time

So bring on the sunshine, to hell with the red wine

Pour me some moonshine

When I'm gone, put it in stone "He left nothing behind"

I ain't here for a long time

I'm here for a good time.”

“James, please, for the love of God, let me change the music. I get it, you like country, but I cannot listen to this anymore.” Ryan begged.

“But babe, George Strait is fucking amazing. You haven't even heard “Cowboys Like Us” yet.”

Ryan blushed at the pet name. “Babe?”

James shrugged, turning down the music. “Couples don't call each other by their last names, they have pet names and stuff. We've just never used them because of work. Also because Nadia would give us so much shit for it.”

“So can I call you babe?” Ryan asked.

“Oh hell no.”

“Why not?”

“Because you call me that when your dick is in me. Just hearing you say it gives me goosebumps.” James answered.

“Well then what can I call you?”

“What do you want to call me?”

“I'd like to call you mine.” Ryan replied instantly. 

James turned bright pink, blush spreading across his face. 

“How about sweetheart? Pretty boy?” 

James blushed even brighter, grip tightening on the wheel. “You are really pretty. Something about the way the sunlight hits your eyes. And the look you get on your face after flying.”

“Shut up.” James mumbled, ears burning. 

Ryan grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Pretty boy it is.”

“You're a horrible boyfriend and I hate you.” James muttered.

“No you don't.” Ryan asserted, turning off the speakers.

“You’re lucky that’s true.” James inhaled deeply. “Speaking of boyfriends, even though we haven’t put a label on this, you told your parents we’re dating. So, are we actually dating, or are we just saying we are?” He asked. “Because the last couple of months have been really confusing.”

Ryan hesitated, turning to look at him before answering. “I’d like for us to be.”

“Even though you know almost nothing about me?”

“Yeah. Why, is there something I should know? Any more Garrison exes?”

James chuckled. “No, just the one.”

“But is there anything else I should know? Like about your parents?”

James’s shoulders stiffened. “They were divorced. My moms dead, my dad and I don’t talk.” 

“How did she die?”

“Cancer. I was 16.” 

“I’m sorry.”

James swallowed thickly. “She'd been sick for years, there was nothing we could do. Um, anyway, what about you? I feel like I should know more about my boyfriend.”

“What do you want to know?” Ryan asked.

“Everything.”

So Ryan spent the next four hours talking about himself. 

His dad’s name was Richard, his mom’s Catherine. They’d been married since they were 20, and were high school sweethearts. His mom liked gardening, and running marathons. She had been a director of Human Resources for a local marketing company. She had two sisters, neither of whom survived the war. But his cousin Jackson did, and was hopefully going to visit for Christmas.

His dad was an engineer working with the Air Force, hence his interest in the Garrison. He was also a bit of a mythology nerd, so Ryan could name most of the great constellations. He was an only child, as was Ryan.

When he was 6, they went to New York City to see his aunt’s paintings in the Met, and he stumbled across a photography exhibit. That started his fascination with photography and videography. His aunt bought him a camera for his birthday, which was April 14th,and the rest was history.

He was terrified of spiders, due to an unfortunate incident when he was 8. (The spider bit him. Don’t ask where.) His cousin Jackson didn’t help matters by telling him spiders crawl in your mouth when you sleep and lay eggs in your stomach, which he believed until he was 12. (No James, that is not funny, shut up.)

Him and Nadia went to the same Garrison school on the East Coast, and yes, he did make a documentary on yeast, which he got a 100 on. While she was a debatably better pilot than him, (don’t tell her he said that), he’d always been a better shot.

Chapter Text

Around 9 they arrived at their motel, briefly checking in before heading out in search of food. “What do you want to eat?” Ryan asked, turning on the car. 

“Anything with grease.”

“God this is so good.” James groaned, head hitting the headrest as Ryan laughed. “I’d never thought I’d miss a shitty McDonalds chicken nuggets so much.”

“You sound like you’re getting fucked.”

“You would know.” 

Ryan smirked, glancing over at a grinning James.

When they got to their room and opened the door, Ryan tossed his stuff on the floor, flopping on the bed. 

“I’m gonna shower.” James declared.

“Can I join you?” Ryan asked, immediately sitting up.

“Mmm, no.” James answered, pulling his shirt off.

“Ugh, you’re trying to kill me.” Ryan complained, lying back down.

“If I wanted to kill you, I’d wait until you were asleep.”

Ryan hummed, watching James kick his pants off and gather his things. Ryan was fascinated with the way he moved. James was made of lean muscle, each one rippling under skin and scars. They were all covered in them, from blaster shots, shrapnel, surgery. There was one blaster shot stretched from his shoulder to his spine, a soft pink against his olive skin. And of course, his right leg.

It’d been amputated above the knee after a rescue mission with the Blades. He’d never asked James about it, and he never offered to talk about it. Ryan usually forgot about it until he felt the cool silver leg against his own.

“I can feel you staring.” James said, turning and crossing his arms.

“How can I not?” James’s face tinted a light pink as he adjusted his stance, popping a hip out.

He really was gorgeous. The smooth planes of muscle, the silver dog tags glinting in the light. And don’t even get him started on his eyes. Ryan looked him up and down, a soft smile on his face.

“Something you wanna say?” James asked.

“I don’t think ‘Pretty boy’ does you justice. You really are gorgeous.”

James blushed bright pink as he turned on his heel. “I’m still not showering with you.”

“Can’t blame a man for trying.”

After James showered, Ryan went, hissing at the cold water. “James what the fuck?”

“It was cold when I showered too.”

Ryan huffed, scrubbing at his face. 

When he got out of the bathroom, he saw James messing with his prosthetic. Something in it clicked and James hissed as he removed the leg, massaging the stump. 

“Are you okay?” Ryan asked, coming to sit next to him.

“Yeah, just sore. Happens when I sit for too long.”

“Then why’d you agree to a fourteen hour drive?”

“Because I’m going to meet your parents eventually, why not do it now?”

“Does walking help?”

James shrugged, pulling a blanket over his hips.. “Most of the time. Mr.Holt is talking to some of the Blade’s doctors about getting a new one. Another surgery.”

“Won’t that be the fifth one?”

“The nerves got royally fucked. It wasn't a clean cut.” Once he saw Ryan’s confused look, James looked down. “Zethird and I were running, they fired on us, and I got caught under part of a building. Instead of leaving me to die, she sawed my leg off and carried me out.” He explained. “I’m grateful she did, but it hurts like a bitch sometimes.”

“How about we make a couple more stops tomorrow? Work your leg more.” Ryan offered. “Before you say no, they’re not expecting us until tomorrow night, and it's only five hours from here. We can sleep in, maybe till past 4:30, and stop every hour or so. Okay?” He cupped James’s face, and the other leaned into his touch.

“Yeah, okay.”

Ryan pressed a kiss to his temple before standing to turn off the lights and going to the other side of the bed. They laid down facing each other, and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

James woke up with the sun shining in his eyes, squirting at the brightness. He went to grab his phone and found Ryan's arm draped over his waist, keeping him in place. 

He rolled over, admiring the sleeping man next to him. Plump lips slightly parted, face buried in the pillow with a bit of drool on it.

He grinned and lightly shook Ryan’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s time to get up.” He whispered.

“Mm, five more minutes.” Ryan mumbled, removing his arm and rolling over to nuzzle further into his pillow.

James rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone, turning it on. A picture of the MFES and Veronica was on the screen, with miners hats and pickaxes from when they went to the Clear Day festival. “It’s 9:30.”

Ryan groaned, turning to lie on his back and look at James. “Morning.”

“Morning. Did you know you drool in your sleep?”

Ryan hummed, sitting up and stretching.

James looked him up and down appreciatively, admiring the way Ryan’s muscles tensed and relaxed as he stretched.

“What?” Ryan asked.

“Nothing. Just not used to waking up to-” he nodded at Ryan. “-this.” Even after the shift from fuck buddies to more, they’d never spent the night. Or if they did, it was by accident, and one of them snuck out before the other woke up.

“Yeah well I’m your boyfriend now, so get used to it.” Ryan replied, kissing James’s cheek.

The rest of the drive went smoothly. They stopped every hour or so to walk around and refuel, and were at Ryan’s parents house by 1700.

Ryan pulled into the driveway, stopping the Jeep. “Alright, are you ready?”

“To meet your parents a day after we said we’re dating? Yeah, totally.” James replied.

“You’ll be fine.” Ryan assured, kissing his forehead. 

They got their bags from the trunk and went to the door, knocking gently.

Ryan’s father threw it open with a smile. “Ryan!” He exclaimed, hugging his son tightly. He let go, turning. “And you must be James! It’s so nice to meet you.” He pulled James into a hug, which he returned after a moment of hesitation.

“Well come in, come in. Your mothers outside working on a new swing in the garden.” HIs dad said as he led them in the house.

“What was wrong with the old one?” Ryan asked.

His father shrugged, leading them down a hall. “BIg storm a few weeks back knocked it down, broke parts. And you know your mother, if something's broken, she’ll fix it.” He opened the door to a room. “You can stay in the guest room, since it’s a bit bigger than Ryan’s old one. But no funny business, got it? I expect you to be respectful guests.” He warned as the couple blushed.

“Sir, I can promise you, nothing like that will happen.” James said.

“Good” Ryan’s father smiled, clasping his hands together. “Well, why don’t you two unpack, and meet us outside when you’re done? Catherine is so excited to meet you. Oh, and I’m RIchard.” With that, he shut the door, leaving them alone.

Ryan groaned and dropped his bag, falling face first on the bed as James laughed. “I can’t believe he said that.” Ryan mumbled as James started unpacking. 

When they went outside, Richard stood on the porch, talking to Catherine. She was a little taller than him, and they looked like a picture perfect couple. The start of laugh lines etched into their faces, warm smiles as they spoke. 

Catherine beamed when she saw her son. “Oh my God, you’ve gotten so tall.” She said, going to hug him.

“Hi Mom.” He said, hugging her tightly.

“And strong.” She joked, patting his arms when they separated. “Maybe I should have you drag the tree out of the attic this year.”

“Maybe. Mom, this is James.” Ryan said, putting a hand on the small of James’s back.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” James said, extending a hand.

Catherine shook it firmly. “Please, call me Catherine. Ma’am makes me feel old.”

“Of course. You have a gorgeous garden. Are those hyacinths?” James complimented.

Gorgeous barely began to describe it. Various shades of pink, yellow and white flowers filled the garden. 

Catherine beamed. “Thank you. And yes, I have some hyacinths, marigolds, peonies, Chrysanthemums and hydrangeas. I got some flowers as a wedding gift from Richard’s father, and we've been planting them ever since. How did you know?”

James shrugged. “My mom used to grow them.”

“Well I’d love to talk to her sometime. Mine always seem to wilt in the summer. Maybe we could invite her over.” Catherine offered.

“She died before the invasion.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. Come on, let’s go inside. We were just about to start making dinner.” Richard said, herding them inside. 

Him, Catherine and Ryan danced around in the kitchen as James set the table, after which he sat at the island. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

Richard waved him off. “No, a guest doesn’t help on their first night.”

“I feel bad just watching you all though.” James says.

“How about you make breakfast then?” Catherine offers.

“Do pancakes sound good?”

Catherine grinned. “As long as they have blueberries. There should be some in the fridge.”

“There are. I bought some this morning.” Ricahrd offers.

“Pancakes it is.” James said with a grin.

When they sat down to eat, Catherine eyed James suspiciously. “Alright, interrogation time. How many people have you killed? Do you have siblings? Are you going to break my son's heart, and do you have any weapons on you?”

“I don’t know exactly how many but several, no, not intentionally, and I have a gun in my bag. One could also argue that my prosthetic could be used as a weapon.” James answered calmly.

“Good.” Catherine said with a nod. “Now, tomorrow, James has volunteered to make blueberry pancakes for breakfast. After that, I have to go to the hardware store and grab some of the stuff for the swing. Ryan, honey, I’ll need you to get the tree and ornaments out, we’ve already got the lights up. We’ll put up the tree, and finish up the swing. Richard is going to the store to get everything for cookies and Christmas dinner, then we’ll make cookies and decorate. That brings us to Christmas Eve, when we’ll cook everything for dinner in the morning. Your father and I have been invited to a party at the Norwoods, so we'll be gone from 5 to around midnight. Then Christmas morning we’ll sleep obscenely late, have cookies for breakfast, then dinner. And your two leave Wednesday, so we’ll figure something out for Tuesday. Sound good?” she asked, and the three men nodded. “Excellent.”

They eat in silence for a while before Richard speaks. “So, James, do you have any Christmas traditions in your family?” He asked.

James tilted his head, swallowing. “Kind of? My mom and I would do cookies and stuff, or if she couldn’t get off work I’d go up to my grandmother’s in Denton, make snow angels and stuff.” 

“Oh, what did she do? Your mother.”

“She was a judge.”

“And your father? Is he still around?” Catherine asked.

James’s smile faltered. “He’s a lawyer, and very much alive. We’re not close though. My parents got divorced when I was 11, and even before that he wasn’t around much. Always working.”

“Ah. So I assume you got your work ethic from your mother, seeing how you’re here.” Richard said.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” James smiled softly. “Um, do yal have any traditions I should know about?”

“Not particularly. Cookies, tree, movie.” Ryan shrugged.

“Ah, but this year you get whiskey.” Richard grinned. “You’re finally of drinking age, so you get some of your grandfather’s whiskey, from the bottle he gave us on our wedding day.” Richard took Catherine’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I remember that day like it was yesterday. Which is astonishing, seeing how it was almost 30 years ago.”

 Later, in their room, Ryan eyed James warily, pulling back the covers.

“You never mentioned that you weren't big on Christmas.” 

James shrugged, detaching his leg and leaning it against the nightstand. “It's not that I don't enjoy it, it's just not something I really look forward to anymore. Especially after my mom died.”

“Still, you could've said no.” Ryan stated, lying next to him. 

“I wanted to come.” 

“You sure?” 

James sighed, rolling over to face him. “Ryan, I want to be here, ok? Why is that so hard to believe?”

Ryan pursed his lips, turning so he was staring at the ceiling. “Maybe because we didn't say we were dating until yesterday. This is a lot. Yeah, we talked about it, and the logistics of getting here, but not about actually being together. That's new. And they're probably going to ask a lot of questions and more stuff about your parents or maybe even your leg, and that will be uncomfortable.”

“I can handle a few questions, Ryan. I grew up with a lawyer and a judge.”

“You evidently had a complicated childhood with them too, and I don't want to bring up any bad memories.”

James propped himself up on his elbows, looking at Ryan. “I appreciate the concern, but I can handle my issues. Been doing it for years. You don't have to worry about me.”

“I'm your boyfriend, it's my job to worry about you.”

James grinned. “Yes, you are my boyfriend. It's also part of your job to trust me. So believe me when I say I want to be here, and that I'll be fine, ok?”

“Ok.” Ryan sighed. 

“Good.” James leaned over to kiss him softly, caressing his cheek. “Now go to sleep.” 

The two shifted, James's back to him. Ryan hesitated a moment before scooting closer, throwing an arm over James's midsection. James wordlessly took hold of his hand, threading their fingers together. 

Ryan smiled to himself, closing his eyes and nuzzling into his pillow.

Chapter Text

Ryan woke the next morning to an empty bed, and the smell of blueberries. He trudged down the hall, rubbing his eyes. “James?” 

“In here!”

Ryan rounded the corner, where James was in the kitchen with his mother, standing at the stove. “Oh wow, you actually made pancakes.” Ryan muttered.

“Of course, I’m a man of my word.” James joked.

“And they’re marvelous.” Catherine said from the table. “You have to give me the recipe.”

James simply grinned, turning back to the pan. 

Ryan went to sit at the island, watching James flip the pancakes. “Where’s dad?”

“Out at the grocery store. He should be back soon. So, do you two have any plans for the week?” Catherine asked. 

“Um, no?” James answered, glancing at Ryan over his shoulder. “No, not for today. Why?”

Catherine stood, bringing her dishes to the sink. “Well, I do need help weeding the garden.”

“I’m allergic to pollen.” Ryan reminds her. 

“I raised you, I know that. But if you don’t have plans, then James doesn’t have any plans..”

“I’d be happy to help.” James offers, depositing a plate in front of Ryan.

He inhales deeply, savoring the scent. He picked up his fork and got a bite of pancake, eyes closing as he tasted it. “Holy shit these are amazing.” He mutters before wolfing the pancake down. 

“James, once you two are done here, meet me in the garage. I’ll get you a pair of gloves and then we’ll head outside. Then you, my son, will get the tree and ornaments out.” Catherine stated, leaving the kitchen. 

Ryan nodded, taking another pancake from the stack. James set his own plate next to Ryan’s before joining him. The two ate in silence, quiet consuming the house. When Ryan finished, he stood and began washing the dishes. “Ryan, please, let me.”

“You’re our guest, my mother would kill me if she knew I let you touch a dish.” He replied, turning on the sink.

“I offered to cook, I made the mess, I do the dishes.” James protested, hip checking Ryan out of the way and beginning to rinse the dishes.

Ryan looked James up and down, realizing what he was wearing. Black sweatpants with the Garrison logo, and a shirt that looked very familiar. A faded gray shirt of KISS, from their Destroyer Album. One Ryan kept in his closet. “Is that my shirt?”

James blushed, dunking a pan in water. “I didn’t bring a lot of clothes. It looked comfortable.”

Ryan grinned, turning to kiss the brunette’s forehead. “You look cute.”

“Shut up.”

“You do!” Ryan insisted. “I like seeing you in my clothes. You look all cuddly and domestic.”

“Ryan, I’m a fighter pilot of a vehicle run on alien magic, have been shot more times than I can count, and fight purple furries for a living. Nothing about me is cuddly or domestic.”

—--------------------------------------------------

After a while, Richard came back with both the groceries and the parts for the porch swing. James joined Catherine in the garden, while Ryan and Richard got the tree and ornaments from the attic. They began constructing the tree in an easy silence, with the occasional laughter trickling in from outside.

“So, what made you decide to bring James home for the holiday?” Richard asked, breaking the silence.

Ryan shrugged, starting to hang the ornaments. “Mom asked.”

“You could’ve said no.”

Ryan shrugged again.

“Ryan Anthony Kinkade, don’t shrug at me. That is not a valid form of communication.”

“Well what do you want me to say? Mom asked, and I didn’t see a reason to say no.” Ryan huffed.

“Son, you’ve never had us meet a boyfriend of yours before. Granted, you didn’t tell us you were attracted to men til you were 16, and you were at the Garrison, so it's not like you could bring a boy home, but still. Never even mentioned a name.”

“’I’ve never dated anyone before James.” Ryan mumbled, blushing. He could see his sheepish expression in the reflection of the last ornament he’d hung.

“Which means he’s special. To you, at least.” Richard pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess? You brought a boy home on a ‘guess’?”

Ryan groaned, running a hand over his face. “Dad, please. You know I’m not good at putting this stuff into words. It’s still new and I’m kind of confused, but I wanted him here. Is that good enough?”

Richard put his hands up in a placating gesture. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop with the questions.”

“Thank you.” His son grumbled.

“Just one more- should we expect to see James at more Christmases?” 

“Dad..” 

“I’m just saying, he seems like a fine young man, and he apparently makes you very happy. Or, confused, but you seem happy.”

“We’ve only been dating for a little while, we haven’t talked about that.” Ryan defends, turning to take more ornaments out of the box.

“You should. I don’t want to get too attached and start imagining a wedding. Or grandbabies.”

“Dad!” Ryan hissed, spinning around to face him.

“I’m just messing with you son.” Richard smiled, shaking Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan rolled his eyes and looked out the window. James and his mom were still in the garden, laughing. James saw him looking and seemed to smile brighter, waving at him. Ryan waved back, a smile creeping onto his face.

“You really care about him, don’t you?” His dad asked.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Good. I’m happy for you son.”

Chapter Text

Once Catherine and James came inside, they headed into the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients for the cookies. Ryan and Richard joined them, satisfied with their work on the tree.
“Very nice boys, thank you. And thank you James, for helping weed the garden.” Catherine said.
“It was no problem. It’s kinda soothing.”
“See, that’s what I always tell Ryan, but he just keeps using his allergies as an excuse.”
“Mom, I can barely breathe when surrounded by that much pollen.” Ryan complains.

“You know how we figured out he had a pollen allergy?” Richard starts, beginning to measure the ingredients. “When he was eight, we decided to visit some of the national parks. So we went to Mount Rainier. It's a beautiful day, the sun's just risen. We start hiking up one of the trails, Ryan sees a pile of leaves, and runs at it, jumps straight in. Then there’s this big explosion of green. Because he jumped in a pile of cedar pollen. The poor baby starts sneezing like crazy, whole body shaking with each one.”
Ryan huffs as the other three laugh, turning on the mixer.
“Babe, that’s adorable.” James laughed, leaning on his shoulder. “I can totally see you doing that.”
“Oh I have a picture of him after.” Richard says, pulling out his phone. “Where is- ah, here!” He showed James the photo, grinning proudly. “Oh my God you were so cute!”
“Dad, please no. Not the baby photos.

Richard and James sat on the couch flipping through baby photos while Ryan and his mom finished up the cookies and put them in the oven. Then his mother pulled out her phone, and started showing James photos from middle school..
Right around eight grade (yes, Ryan had braces for a few years, and yes, he wished his parents had burned the photos), the cookies were ready.
“Alright, we have trees, snowmen and ornaments. Decorate as you please. And if you make a mess, you clean it up.” Richard declared, pulling out the frosting and sprinkles.

Each member of the family took some cookies, beginning to frost.
“Ryan, sweetie, where on Earth have you seen red Christmas trees?” Catherine asked, eyeing her son. “When we went to Coryinth, all their trees were red. Leaves, trunks, roots.” Ryan explains, showcasing his tree.
“And Eruth has yellow snow. Which led to Nadia making many inappropriate jokes.” James adds with a smile. “But I think your trees need more ornaments.” He reached over to pipe some red onto the green tree Ryan had already finished, much to his dismay.
“Wha-hey!” Ryan pushed James’s hand away, simultaneously dragging his hand through the white frosting.
“Dude, come on.” James groaned.
“Serves you right. Don’t fuck with my trees.”
James rolled his eyes and picked up some white frosting, flicking it at Ryan, who retaliates by squirting red frosting on James’s snowman. James picked up the yellow and smeared some on Ryan’s hand, who picked up the green spatula, aimed-
“Alright boys, maybe we should calm down-” Catherine started, interrupted by a glob of green frosting landing on her shirt. She sighed deeply. “I should’ve expected that. I’m going to shower. You three finish up here.”
As she left, Richard crossed his arms, looking at the couple. “Really?”
They smiled sheepishly, and Ryan put the spatula back in the frosting. “Clean this up. Put the cookies in the Tupperware.”
The second Richard turned around, Ryan flung a spoonful of green frosting at James, landing on his cheek with a “Splat!”. The boys both froze as the frosting slid off of James’s cheek and hit the counter.
They made eye contact, then burst out laughing. Richard turned and sighed, shaking his head as he headed to his bedroom.

—--------------------------------------------------

Later that night….

“James, babe, wake up.” Ryan whispered, shaking him softly. The aforementioned man hummed, nuzzling into his pillow. “Five more minutes.”
“Come on, wake up. I wanna show you something.”
“Show me in the morning.”
Ryan sighed, then yanked the blanket off James. “Hey!” James whined, sitting up.

‘God, he’s adorable’ Ryan thought. His eyes were still bleary from sleep, and he was wearing another one of Ryan’s shirts, a black ‘Interrupters’ tee.
“We’re gonna go for a drive. Did you bring a coat?”
“Uh, no? I didn’t think it’d be cold.” James mumbles, rubbing his eyes. “Can I borrow one of yours?”
Ryan grinned, going towards his closet. “So are you planning on stealing all my clothes? Or just my favorites?”
James shrugged, moving to hug Ryan from behind. “Maybe a few. I’d let you wear mine, but I don’t think they’d fit properly.” He took the plain grey hoodie Ryan offered, slipping it on and grabbing his shoes.
“Come on.”

The two got in Richard’s truck, Christmas songs from the radio the only sound in the car. They entered a line of cars, approaching a glowing arch.
“Where are we?” James asked, looking at Ryan.
“County fairgrounds. They do this Christmas thing every year. You’ll like it, trust me.”
They entered the arch, which darkened, and emerged in a Winter Wonderland.
Trees and light displays were everywhere, getting more and more elaborate as they followed the trail of cars.

Ryan watched James’s face as they made their way through the fairgrounds and into the adjoining neighborhoods. Each display of lights seemed to amaze him, eyes blown wide with wonder.
“This is unbelievable. They do this every year?” James asked, turning to catch one last glimpse of a house covered in Star Wars inflatables.
Ryan grinned. “Yeah. Every year we'd come out, drive around for a little while, maybe get some cocoa. It’s a tradition of ours. You’ve never done this?”
James shook his head. “No, we'd stay in and watch the Grinch. The Jim Carrey version, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Then we'd watch those claymation movies. I was happy with just the one with the Miser brothers and maybe the Santa one, but my mom wanted to watch all of them. I'd fall asleep, and when I woke up, presents were under the tree, the cookies had a bite taken out of them.” James’s voice softened. “After she got sick, we dialed it back a lot. Then I was at the Garrison, so vacation time was limited, and then…. She died.”

“Do you miss her?” Ryan asked.

“Of course. She's my mom, I loved her. But she got to die with dignity. I'm grateful she didn't have to live through the invasion.”

“What about the fact that your dad did?”

“He can rot in hell.” James snapped, all fondness leaving his voice. “He was awful to my mom, and me.”

“How? If you don't mind me asking.”

James was silent for a bit, and Ryan could see his jaw clenching and unclenching from the corner of his eye. “We don't have to talk about it. I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
‘Good job Ryan’ he thought. ‘Get him all happy then ask him to talk about his estranged father.’

“You didn't, it’s just- with my dad-” James sighed. “He was kind of- no, he is a whore. He cheated on my mom with 3 different women. That I know of. After the divorce, there was always a new girlfriend. I hardly ever saw him. And when my mom died, he went to her funeral, and didn't speak to me. Barely looked at me. Next time I saw him, he asked if I wanted to go to his house for Christmas, with his girlfriend of the month.” James took a shaky breath. “I asked if I could bring my boyfriend, and the look he gave me-”

Silence settled over the truck as they pulled into the driveway and parked.

Ryan reached for James' hand, squeezing it gently. “Babe, you don’t- I'm sorry for asking.”
James looked at him with misty eyes. “It’s fine. You're my boyfriend now. You get to know my family shit. Let’s- can we just go inside?” James slid out of his grip and out of the car, heading to the door.
Ryan followed, unlocking it, and the two went back to his room. James disappeared into the bathroom as Ryan sat on the bed, waiting. He wasn’t going to let James shove down his emotions right now. He had a feeling there was more James wanted to say.

James exited the bathroom, coming to sit crisscrossed on the bed next to Ryan. He covered his hands with the hoodie sleeves, inhaling deeply. “I haven’t talked to my father in seven years. And part of me hates that, because even though he was- an absolute asshole, he’s still my dad, you know?” James said, glancing at Ryan with teary eyes. “He’s the only family I have left. And because of one thing about me, he chose to never speak to me again. I- I can barely remember a time where he was a part of my life, but him being gone, him choosing, again, not to be a part of it-” James’s voice broke as tears began streaming down his face.

Ryan pursed his lips, reaching for his boyfriend. “Come here.”
He pulled James into his lap, an embrace James welcomed, burying his face in his boyfriend's shoulder. They stayed there for a while, James crying softly as Ryan held him.

After a while, James’s tears dried, but he stayed in Ryan’s arms.
“I’m sorry about your father.” Ryan said softly.
James shrugged, sniffling. “It is what it is. There’s no changing it.”
“Well, if you need a dad, you can borrow mine.” Ryan offers.
James laughs, shifting out of his lap. “Thanks.”
Ryan stood, tugging James by the hand. “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”

Ryan turned on the shower as James began undressing. He stepped under the warm water, Ryan joining him. He grabbed the shampoo bottle and wordlessly began lathering the soap in James’s hair, massaging his scalp as James leaned into his touch. Once he rinsed the soap out, James took the bodywash and began massaging it onto his upper body.

This was a new step for them. Sure, they’d showered together before, but those were full of hungry touches and rough kisses. This was a little piece of domestic bliss. A moment of peace, something so hard to come by.

After their shower, the two crawled into bed, falling asleep with James’s back pressed to Ryan’s chest.

Chapter Text

“BZZT! BZZT! BZZT! BZZT!”

James opened his eyes, squinting in the early morning light. He grabbed his phone, answering the call. “Hello?”

“Son, it’s almost noon. You and Ryan need to come down and eat something.”

“Richard? How did you get my number?” James asked, sitting up. Ryan groaned at the sudden movement, rolling onto his back.

“James, I called Ryan. You’re on his phone.”

James looked down, registering the green case. His was black. “Oh. I see that now.”

Richard chuckled. “Just come on down. Catherine and I have lunch ready and you two need to eat something.”

“Ok, we’ll be down in a minute.” James hung up, looking at the man next to him. 

Ryan’s lips were slightly parted, shoulders rising and falling in silent breaths. It was nice to see him so relaxed. And after their conversation last night, he felt closer to him. The only other person he’d talked about his family with was Keith, and he hadn’t told him about his Dad leaving. And the past couple days, being in Ryan’s home…

He felt closer to him than he’d ever felt with anyone. 

“Ryan.” James said, shaking the man’s shoulder softly. Green eyes fluttered open, looking at him sleepily. 

“ Fuck, he’s gorgeous. ”

“Your parents are summoning us. Apparently, it’s almost noon.”

Ryan groaned, rolling over before sitting up.

James eyed him appreciatively, the way his abs clenched as he sat up and biceps flexed as he stretched.

“What?” Ryan asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing. Just- you’re gorgeous.”

Ryan blushed before cupping James’s cheek, smiling softly. “Says you.”

James leaned in, kissing Ryans softly, smiling against those plump lips. He pulled back, turning to kiss his boyfriend’s palm. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

Catherine and Richard were in the kitchen, drying off their plates. Both were in somewhat formal dress, coordinating. Catherine in a black blouse and green slacks, Richard in a green button up and black dockers.

“They live! Morning boys.” Catherine remarked with a smile.

“Sandwich meats are in the fridge, breads in the pantry. We've been invited to a last minute gathering at the Reynolds, then we're heading to the Norwoods. Would you like to join us?”

“No, thank you though.” James answered, sitting at the table.

“Alright, just don’t burn the house down while we’re gone.” Catherine hugged Ryan before kissing James’s forehead. “Bye boys.”

Richard looked at them sternly, pointing a finger. “No funny business, got it?”

“Yes Dad.” Ryan mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

—--------------------------------------------------

After eating, they decided to go for a run. They walked to the main street of the neighborhood before beginning to jog at an easy pace. But it soon turned into a race, Ryan just barely behind James.

James laughed as they rounded the corner to Ryan's house, stopping in the driveway and jumping victoriously. “Ha! I win!”

Ryan shook his head, a fond smile on his face, trudging to the door. They headed back to his room, stepping into the shower.

“Ryan, you good? You're being really quiet.” James asked as he began to towel dry his hair.

Ryan hummed, moving to hug James from behind. “Yeah. Just thinking.” 

“About what?” James asked, looking at his boyfriend in the mirror. 

Ryan grinned wickedly, starting to kiss James’s neck. “Oh.”

Ryan shifted closer, hard-on pressing against James's lower back as he took him into his hand.

James’s head tipped back. “ Oh. ” 

He turned to properly kiss his boyfriend as they stepped towards his bed, falling onto it. James broke the kiss and reached to stroke Ryan's dick, but he grabbed his wrist before he could.

“Just let me.” Ryan said, kneeling between his legs. He stroked his dick, kissing the head softly, and making the other gasp.  He then took James in his mouth, beginning to bob his head slowly. He dribbled lube onto his hand and slipped a finger in James, then two, then three, thrusting in and out of him while sucking his dick. James's back arched, and he grabbed the pillow above his head, panting softly.

“What's wrong baby?” Ryan asked coyly, coming off of him and curling his fingers. 

James' head was thrown back, chest rising and falling slowly. 

“Do you need something?”

James nodded silently, silently thanking God for the man between his legs.

“What do you need baby?” Ryan purred, stroking him softly.

“You.” James gasped, looking down through hooded eyes. His purple irises were clouded with what could only be described as pure lust. “God Ryan, please .”

Ryan grinned, grabbing the lube and pouring a generous amount on his hand before stroking himself. “Roll over.” 

James shook his head. “Let me ride you.”

Ryan inhaled shakily. “Fuck, ok.”

He laid down and James settled into his lap, taking hold of him and lining himself up before sinking down slowly. He set a slow pace, savoring the sensation of being full as he made small sounds.

Ryan panted, attempting to thrust upwards, eyes locked onto James. But James kept his slow pace, nails digging into Ryan's shoulder. “Baby, come on.” Ryan groaned, finger digging into James’s hips as he tried to speed up his movement.

James shook his head slightly, cheeks flushed. His eyes fluttered closed as he sunk down, stopping for a moment before rising again. He kept this tantalizing pace, panting  in Ryan's ear as his thighs quaked.

Ryan huffed before surging forward, turning James on his back and slamming into him. “Holy- fuck!” James hissed, eyes still squeezed shut. Ryan began fucking him roughly, grabbing his throat with one hand, the other next to James's head.

“Come on baby, look at me.” He ordered as James grabbed his arm.

James's eyes fluttered open, their purple a sharp contrast against his flushed cheeks.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good.” Ryan ground into him and James's back arched. “Ah! Ry- fuck!” James cried.

Ryan leaned down to kiss him sloppily, speeding up his thrusts.

James came with a cry of his name, nails digging into his forearm, and Ryan fucked him through his own orgasm, James shaking underneath him.

They stayed there for a minute, panting, Ryan’s face in the crook of James’s neck. “Fuck.” James croaked, swallowing thickly.

 “That was hot.” Ryan laughed breathlessly, sitting up. 

James leaned up to kiss him, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Think you can make me cum like that again?”

Ryan grinned. “I can try.”

—--------------------------------------------------

After another round, then lazily making out in the shower, the couple ordered a pizza. 

James brought it back to Ryan’s room, setting the box on the nightstand and grabbing a slice.

“What are we watching?” He asked, scooting under Ryan’s arm and leaning against his chest.

“You’ll see.” He pressed play, wrapping an arm around James as the intro for “A Year Without Santa Claus” started playing.

James gasped softly, before grinning up at his boyfriend. “Christmas Eve tradition, right?”

They quickly polished off the pizza, the entire thing gone by the time Jingle and Jangle met Iggy.

James would occasionally glance at his boyfriend to gauge his reaction. 

Ryan laughed as Snowmeiser's minions began dancing, and James’s heart skipped a beat.

He knew this feeling very well. He'd been feeling it for a while, but it had never hit him this hard before. Never been so painstakingly obvious.

The warmth in his chest, smile on his face, the immediate comfort he felt whenever Ryan was around.

James was in love with Ryan.

Fuck .

Chapter Text

James woke up to the soft trilling of his phone. He groaned and untangled himself from Ryan, answering. “Hello?”

“James, it’s Keith. Send me your coordinates.”

“Why?”

“Have you not read your messages? A rogue faction of Sendak’s old army is going apeshit in Northern Europe. Do you have armor or do you need some?” Keith asked, and you could hear rustling around him.

James huffed, getting out of bed and opening the drawers, starting to shove his things in his bag. “I’ll need armor. I didn’t bring anything with me.”

“Alright, I figured. I have your shit, you’ll have to change in the lion. Is Kinkade coming or not?”

James looked at the sleeping man, pursing his lips. “No, he still has a few days leave. I’m sending you my coordinates now.” He heard Keith’s phone buzz as he stuffed the last of his things in his bag, zipping it shut.

“Got it, I’ll be there in 15. Be outside.” After that, Keith hung up, and James sighed before rising. He packed quietly, thankful he hadn't brought much. It meant he could get out much faster. (Plus the fact the he got to borrow Ryan's clothes was definitely a plus.)

He tip-toed to Ryan’s side of the bed, a now familiar warmth filling his chest as he admired him. James bent down to kiss Ryan on the temple gently before slipping out of the bedroom.

He then crept down the hall, stopping at the door. James took one last look around the house, at the family pictures, the lights on the tree. It was everything you could've asked for. But he had a job to do. 

He’d barely set a hand on the door knob when the living room light flipped on. James froze, turning around slowly. Catherine sat on the sofa, book in hand.

“James? Where are you going son?” She asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Last minute mission.”

“You're not bringing Ryan?”

James shook his head. 

“And you’re leaving without a goodbye?”

James shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t want to disturb yal.”

“Okay. You be careful.” Catherine said, rising from her spot and walking towards him. She hugged the young pilot tightly. “I expect to see you for Christmas next year.” She said in his ear.

“Of course.” James replied, smiling softly. Catherine stepped back and cupped his face, a warm smile on her own. Then she let go, leaving the light on as she went down the hall. 

James returned to the door, grasping the cool metal. He inhaled deeply, straightening his spine, before exhaling.

He slipped out of the house just as the Black Lion landed in the street.

—--------------------------------------------------

It took almost the whole day to sort out the mess in Europe, then they had to debrief, call the Blade, and shower. By then it was 9AM.

Keith and James trudged out of the showers, finally in soot and blood-free clothes. “You’ve been weird since we got in the lion.” Keith pointed out. “Did something happen at Kinkade’s house?”

“I need a drink before I delve into that.” James said, rubbing his brow.

“Wanna go to Joe’s?” Keith asked.

 James shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

They got into Keith’s truck, silent the entire drive there. And they were silent while they ordered their food. And while they ate. And for the first beer. And second. And James’s third.

“Okay, what happened?” Keith asked, setting his bottle down.

“IthinkI’minlovewithhim.” James blurted.

Keith’s jaw dropped as James buried his face in his hands. “We literally just started officially dating like four days ago, but we’ve been talking a lot lately and he’s sweet and caring and hot and I met his fucking parents- fuck I met them within a day of us officially dating- and they’re great and he’s great and fuck I really like him and I’m pretty sure- no I know I love him but he invited me to his house with his perfect parents for Christas and I literally said I hate my only living parent and cried about it in his arm but then things were good and we were all coupley and and cuddled and had mind-blowing sex and whenever I'm with him I feel like nothing can go wrong and he's so comforting to be around and I trust him completely and I just wanna be with him all the time and hold his hand and shit and now I don’t know what to do.”

James looked up at Keith, who was gaping at him blankly. “Keith, say something!” He whined.

Keith blinked a few times, shaking his head. “H- you- wait, how did you go from just fucking him to being in love with him?”

James flushed pink. “It just started like that. But fucking lead to talking, and talking led to feelings, which led to-” James groaned, rubbing his face. “Whatever this is. I get this warm feeling in my chest whenever I look at or even think about him and now I have all these feelings and shit and I’m cconfused, but I'm not and I don't want to risk everything and have us fall apart. Cause when you and I dated, it-” James sighed. “We started off good, but then towards the end we fell apart.”

Keith placed a hand on James's shoulder. “Hey, we both had a ton of shit going on. Kerberos, your mom dying. And, let’s be real, we never wouldn't have worked in the long run. We were good while it lasted, and I’d never say I regret our time together, but we’re much better as friends. But you and Ryan? You guys work. And if you just talk to him-” James groaned, dropping his head on the table.

“Yeah I know, words are hard.” Keith said, rubbing James's back. “But if you love him you should tell him.”

“You know better than anyone how bad I am at verbally expressing affection.” James pointed out, causing Keith to laugh.

“Yeah. I also know how great of a boyfriend you can be. And you can't be that boyfriend for Ryan unless you tell. Him. How. You. Feel.” Keith accentuated each word with a light slap to the back of James's head.

“Fuck off.” The brunette mumbled, swatting his hand away.

“You're just mad because you know I'm right.”

“I hate you.” James mumbled.

Keith hummed. “Love you too.”

James rolled his eyes, sipping his beer. “Come on Jamie, say it back.” Keith teased, shaking his shoulder.

“Yeah yeah, love you too.” 

“See how easy that was? If only you could say that to Ryan.” Keith joked.

“Oh, fuck you.” James retorted, shoving Keith back.

“Last you told me, you were the one getting fucked, not the other way around.”

“Keith!” 

Suddenly, both their phones began buzzing, practically jumping off the counter. Keith looked at his, groaning when he saw the message. “Goddammit, we have to go back. More of Sendak's old forces showed up.”

James sighed, slipping off the barstool and grabbing his jacket. “Of course they did. You have some of those instant-toxin cleansers?”

“Always. Thank God for Altean science.” Keith paused, looking at the hoodie James pulled on. “Is that Ryan's?” He asked, grinning as he slipped on his own jacket.

“Shut the fuck up.” James mumbled.