Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1.

“Honeybunch! Man am I so happy to see you!”

Usually, Étoiles would be very happy to see Charlie too, but if he’s calling him ‘honeybunch’ in that tone? He’s the last person he wants to see. He is tired and cannot deal with Charlie right now. But he doesn’t get a choice, because an arm is slinging around his shoulder, nearly making him spill the coffee in his hand.

“Charlie.” Étoiles starts and kind of just wants to stop there. He really is tired, but Charlie barrels forward, never not full of energy.

“Sorry I’m late, sweetie, Koppel kept us behind to talk about next week’s project,” Charlie apologizes before leaning down and kissing Étoiles on the cheek.

This isn’t really new, in all honesty. Roier kisses everyone so frequently that it’s kind of desensitized them all and others have accidentally started following suit, Charlie being one of them. Foolish gets it the worst, being Charlie’s roommate, but Baghera, Phil, and, funnily enough, Pol aren’t safe either. But he’s never kissed Étoiles. This is a very new development. He’s also never leaned towards his ear to whisper, “Please play along. I’ll buy you a million coffees. You and Foolish can have a Smash tournament in the living room all weekend. Mario Kart. I don’t care. Please.”

Not one day goes by that Étoiles gets a break. The universe hates him. But also?

Smash.

Charlie seats himself beside Étoiles, dumping his bag on the table with way too much energy for 7 pm on a fucking Tuesday. Étoiles stays silent, sipping his coffee as he watches Charlie get seated. That’s when he notices how jittery his friend is, a fine tremble to his hand as he fishes for his laptop. He’s used to the other being lively and loud, but this is different. It’s nervous. Anxious. Étoiles purses his lips and takes another sip before pointing at Charlie with his cup.

“What did you do.”

He’s blunt, setting his pencil down to turn towards Charlie fully. His friend startles, turning to look at Étoiles, eyes wide.

“N-nothing, babe!”

Étoiles scoffs, “Is this a dare? Roier? Baghera?” He’s amused now, watching Charlie squirm. He sets down his coffee to grab his hand, holding it over the table, but he doesn’t stop the teasing, “If you don’t tell me I am going to storm out of here. Dramatic. Messy. I have been watching Roier for ideas. Foolish too.”

“Dude, come on-”

“I give you five seconds, Charlie,” He says cheerily as he squeezes his hand. Charlie pouts, huffing before he scans the coffee shop wearily, growing jittery again and chewing on his lip. Étoiles gets a little worried. This really isn’t like him.

“What? Did something happen?” Étoiles pushes.

“I just—fuck I ran into an ex and he just started following me, even waited for me to get out of class. Tried shaking him, saying I was meeting someone, but he just insisted on following, wanting to ‘catch up’. When I got here, I was hoping Baghera beat me but then I saw you so I just told him I had a date… I panicked, okay?”

Charlie talks fast, too fast for Étoiles to keep up but he catches the key points, “You told an ex… that we are dating.” His head hurts. “Is-is he still here?”

Charlie looks around again, nails digging into the bag of Étoiles’ hand. He lets him, turning back to his paper and grabbing for his pencil again and he soothes Charlie’s with the other.

“Y-yeah, ordering coffee. Oh my god, he’s looking over here. I’m so sorry dude, I was really hoping Baghera would scare him off but she’s late, and I-”

So much for working on his paper. He can just fail history it’s  fine. Étoiles sighs, standing up and letting go of Charlie’s hand, “It’s fine, bro, but you owe me.”

He leaves the table, getting behind Charlie’s supposed ex. The guy isn’t anything special: blonde hair, built, sweaty… Charlie could do better, honestly. The guy goes to turn around, probably to go wait for his order or harass Charlie, so Étoiles steps forward, “accidentally” tripping him in his haste.

“My bad, bro,” Étoiles says, holding Blondie steady by his shoulders. He’s taller than Étoiles, but he doesn’t really care because it just means it would be easier to punch him in the dick. “Excuse me, do you know Charlie? I saw you came in with him.”

The guy beams, raking a hand through his hair annoyingly, “Yeah! We go wayyyyy back, actually, I’m going to go catch up with him right now! You a friend of his? Or another ex? I know he gets around.” The guy chuckles, winking at Étoiles like he’s in on the joke. He kind of wants to break this guy’s nose right here and now. As a joke, of course. Ha ha.

Blondie has Charlie all wrong.

Étoiles cools his expression and impulsive response, though. Charlie owes him so much shit. “Eh, we are a bit closer than that. Just a word of advice,” he steps closer, whispering into the space between them, “If you go over there and say a single word to him, I will find out where you live. If you even look at him in the five seconds it takes you to leave, I will twist your balls until they pop. Okay? Okay!”

Étoiles doesn’t wait for an answer, patting the guy on the chest before stepping around him to order another coffee for himself and something for Charlie. The guy squeaks behind him and that’s almost worth it alone, but Étoiles wants that favor so he starts scheming while the drinks are being made. He looks back over to see Charlie typing away at his keyboard, shoulders relaxed.

Good.

When he gets back to the table, warm mugs in hand, Charlie is still working on his paper but clearly something’s bugging him, judging by how hard he’s jiggling his leg.

“Here,” Étoiles sets the drink down, “Enough sugar to kill an elephant.”

That’s a lie, Charlie isn’t a big fan of sweets, but he does have his moments. This didn’t seem like one, though. He must trust Étoiles’ decision because he takes the drink without question and inhales with a smile, “You remembered!”

“What, that you have an addiction to cinnamon? How can anyone forget? I think it makes up half your diet.” Étoiles waits for him to take a sip, laughing at the following pout and accusatory look he’s given, “And caffeine. You think I give you actual coffee right now? It’s seven, bro, I am not subjecting Foolish to that.”

“So mean,” Charlie moans but he continues drinking with a hum. Étoiles smiles to himself, turning back to his work while Charlie turns to his. They get a few minutes of silence before Charlie speaks again.

“Thanks… no idea what you said but he ran out of here with his tail between his legs.”

Étoiles just hums, crossing out a section of text that is driving him up a wall just looking at, “Good. You owe me. I was having a very nice, quiet evening until you came.”

“You could’ve just said the first part without putting me down dude, I’m already low,” Charlie grumbles. Before Étoiles can continue messing with him and ignore his work, the bell rings and a loud voice rings across the shop.

“Charlie! I am so sorry-”

Étoiles just looks at Charlie with a smile, “No, you owe me and also you suck.” He grabs for his headphones, throwing them on before Baghera can come over and officially distract him. Charlie just kicks him under the table before greeting Baghera, probably immediately jumping into the latest gossip that happened less than ten minutes ago.

There is never a dull moment with Charlie.

Étoiles tunes them out, trying to focus on his paper and not the distant sensation of Charlie’s lips on his cheek. He accidentally writes down half of their conversation before he realizes what he’s doing.

It’s going to be a long evening.

Chapter Text

2.

Étoiles thought it was going to be a one-time thing. He cashed in on his favor (Charlie meal prepped for him and Étoiles is more excited than he’ll admit- though he did end up helping because Charlie was using his kitchen), not a word to anyone else of what happened because nothing really happened. Charlie held his hand and Étoiles threatened some guy’s balls. He didn’t even get a good fight, it sucks.

He should know to always expect the worst when it comes to Charlie though.

“Hey, sweet cheeks.” An arm snakes around his waist and Étoiles sighs loudly, breath foggy in the winter air. There is no peace in this godforsaken world.

“That should be an insult.” He deadpans, hands in his pockets as he refuses to look at trouble personified. He’s not giving in easily this time.

“Well, I’m sorry most American endearments revolve around sugar. Babe is too unoriginal and love is too formal.” Charlie snarks, bundling in closer. He allows this because it’s cold outside, snowflakes lazily floating in the air, and ice makes the sidewalks hazardous. Plus, Étoiles grabbed the wrong jacket leaving this morning and he’s more than freezing waiting for Antoine to get out of class, “What, do you want me to use lovebug? I don’t have many options here, boo.”

“Here is a option: don’t call me anything.”

“What a weird way to interact with a boyfriend, Charchar.”

Charlie tenses around him while Étoiles instantly wants to throw up. Charchar. He actually feels nauseous. He leans around Charlie to get an eye full of the guy standing behind them: tall, dark, and nerdy. Ugh. They need to talk about Charlie’s taste in men. An intervention has to be held.

“Well Charchar isn’t my boy-”

“Boytoy. I’m not his boytoy, unlike how some guys viewed me-”

Étoiles rolls his eyes, “No, I am not his boyfriend.”

Charlie panics, pinching his side, “We don’t use that term! We prefer… partners. In crime… It’s our uh thing.”

Étoiles scoffs, trying to shrug Charlie off, “No, I don’t prefer-”

“E,” Charlie grits out, gaze desperate, “you are so funny, you know? Hahaha, quite the jokester ."

Please his eyes scream, and fucking shit, why is it so hard to say no to Charlie? Étoiles has to hold back a massive groan, instead winding his arm around Charlie’s shoulder and turning them so he can face another ex. He pulls his friend closer to his side to mooch off of his warmth because Charlie of course is dressed to the nines with a warm coat, scarf, beanie, and probably a sweater. Fuck him.

“Sorry, he is right. I just think Charlie looks cute when flustered.” Étoiles isn’t being completely dishonest here. Charlie likes to act all macho and like he’s hot shit, flirting with anything that looks at him, but the moment someone responds in kind? The guy runs, it’s so funny. The shade of red he gets is probably a new color too. “I am Étoiles, Charlie’s boyfriend.”

All of a sudden, Étoiles is feeling very hot. Maybe an icicle will fall down and concuss him or better yet, kill him right here and now. One can dream.

The guy doesn’t afford him the same courtesy. “Just Charlie?” he asks, eyebrow raised in judgment. Étoiles is kind of baffled by what the problem is here. He just wants Antoine’s class to end so they can all go dick around at Roier’s for the evening. He’s cold and cranky.

“Ouais…” He starts, trying to refrain from sounding like he’s talking to a baby, “Just Charlie. Why would I need to give him some stupid nickname when I like saying his actual name more?”

It’s a dig at the guy’s stupid fucking nickname for Charlie and clearly hurts. Étoiles grins a little brighter as the guy scowls. He throws Charlie a dirty look, muttering something under his breath that would be insulting if he wasn’t basking in the pure relief of finally being left alone.

“Real nice guy you got here, Charchar, wonder how long it’ll take before this one ditches you like the rest.”

The guy leaves with a huff and Étoiles has a mind to insult him, but Charlie’s grip on his waist keeps him warm and his silence keeps Étoiles by his side. He settles for flipping the guy off before turning into his friend a little more, kicking him in the shin to get his attention.

He speaks when Charlie finally looks up, “You know he’s wrong, right?”

Charlie groans, letting his head thump onto Étoiles’ shoulder. “Is he though?”

“Kind of,” Étoiles admits, but quickly elaborates, “I mean, you do get dumped a lot. I think Baghera keeps your favorite ice cream in her fridge just in case of an emergency.” Charlie snorts into his shoulder. “But I don’t think those guys were worth keeping around, there is someone out there who is going to love you for yourself. I’m kind of surprised you haven’t been on any dates anytime soon, though.”

“Well currently Brad and Reynold thinks I’m dating again and I’ve never been a cheater so you’re stuck for a week.”

“Just a week? I think I could last a few, maybe even months.” Étoiles laughs, pulling back the smile at his friend. Charlie just scowls.

“Har har, very funny.”

“Hey, you made the joke first. I’m just following your lead, no? Thought you liked the bit.”

Charlie grumbles pulling away from Étoiles a little as he cackles in response. He fixes him with a sour look, “We’re over, bit’s over, effective now. New bit started: sworn enemies.”

Étoiles just laughs and laughs and laughs. He’s no longer annoyed, just overwhelmingly fond of the idiot glaring at him. It really is surprising he hasn’t had a long-term boyfriend in a while. Étoiles just doesn't know how to ask about it. They quiet down, the cold seeping any energy from them to keep bickering.

“Did you really mean that?”

Charlie speaks up eventually and Étoiles shivers a little, pulling him as close as he can now. He’s no longer worried about how they look because he cannot feel his nose or his toes. They’re “dating” after all. “Hmm?”

Charlie laughs, yanking off his beanie and pulling it over Étoiles’ head and over his eyes, obscuring his vision. Étoiles lets it stay that way because Charlie is winding what must be his scarf around his neck as he speaks again, “About nicknames, about my name. ‘Just Charlie’?”

He snorts, folding up the green beanie so he can look at Charlie. His friend is smiling at him cheekily, clearly teasing, but Étoiles isn’t so he answers honestly.

“Ouais, juste Charlie. It fits you, I don’t know,” He huffs, leaning against Charlie again, “What, do you want me to start using Charchar? I will actually throw up if I have to, but if you insist...”

“No… no I like just Charlie.”

“Alright just Charlie, don’t move I’m stealing your heat. You also owe me again, that guy looks like he loves to gossip.”

“Yeah,” Charlie sighs, “He does. Sorry in advance.”

A few seconds of quiet pass before he has to speak again, it’s really hard not to.

“’E’ is probably the best nickname you thought of. Just a letter. Wow. Not even pronounced like the one in my name. How do you do it? Be so bad at something so simple?”

“Oh shut the fuck up. I am going to find every single sweet-related nickname and you’re gonna get a sugar rush, dickhead. Sugarplum. Sweetums. Honey-”

Charlie continues spewing endearments like they’re insults and Étoiles can only cackle into the cold, December air. When Antoine finally escapes his lecture, he finds Charlie holding Étoiles in place with a firm hug, shouting “CUTIE PIE. MAINSQUEEZE. BABYCAKE. STUDMUFFIN-” in his face. It’s amazing he even comes over and associates himself with them when they’re acting like this in public.

Charlie stays glued to Étoiles for their entire walk, saying it’s so they both don’t freeze. Antoine keeps giving them looks, but he doesn’t say a word, hands buried into the pockets of his warm coat.

Étoiles hates them both.

Chapter Text

3.

“What would you say to free food?”

Étoiles sighs, leaning against the frame of his front door, “I would say ‘lez goooo’, but from you? There is a catch. Nothing is free. Spill.”

Charlie drops the innocent act, slipping past Étoiles to bee-line for the couch. Actually, he goes for Pomme’s cage, cooing. Étoiles rolls his eyes but can’t fight a smile as he watches Charlie gently fish the sugar glider out of her sock once he knows she’s already awake. He turns around, Pomme in hand, and smiles brightly at Étoiles. Dapper stays inside the cage. There is a history there and it’s written in the little scars all over Charlie’s hand from the one and only time he interacted with the bat.

(Doesn’t stop him from bringing any and all fruit he can like it’ll fix everything. Charlie is a pet pleaser.)

“There’s a work party-”

“No,” Étoiles protests immediately, “You know I don’t socialize. Stop the eyes.”

Charlie does not ‘stop the eyes’, in fact, they get worse when he brings Pomme up beside his face so they are  both  giving Étoiles a deadly set of theatrics. It’s the worst.

“Charlie. No.”

“Étoooooooiles.” Charlie whines, coming up to stand just a foot away from him. He’s pouting even as Pomme nuzzles his hands and cheek happily. Impressive. Others would have cracked by now, but Charlie is not like the others. He is worse.

Étoiles just shakes his head, turning away to avoid the looks, but Charlie holds him in place with a hand on his wrist. The other gently holds a squirming sugar glider to his chest .

“Come on, it’s mandatory for me but I can bring a plus one, and if that plus one is you… Wow! Would you look at that! A great excuse to dip as soon as possible ‘cause I’ve got a hot guy to take home, yah know?”

Étoiles barks out a laugh, letting Charlie swing their hands as he waits, “Hot guy huh?”

Charlie nods, “The hottest, so hot that I need to take you home ASAP. Please, dude, you’re my only excuse to leave early. Foolish and Baghera will get me fired and Jaiden is… Jaiden. She will get me banned, kicked out for life. They might actually take my last paycheck back.”

Étoiles has already decided to go but Charlie doesn’t have to know that yet. “Why not Wilbur? Mike?”

Charlie groans, “Oh my god, Wilbur will make me stay an hour past the time the party ends just to talk to people. Mike is my brother, ew, and he will also get me fired. Please? Help me, Étoiles, you’re my only hope.”

“Don’t make references at me right now. Also, it’s a sad day when I am the best person for the job.” Étoiles watches him for a long moment before shrugging, “What’s in it for me?”

Charlie grins like he’s already won, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he releases Étoiles’ wrists to catch Pomme before she jumps. “Dinner? Not at mine, but like an actual restaurant? I’m sick of eating with Foolish; love the guy but he’s been watching too much Gordon Ramsey and keeps yelling at me when I’m in the kitchen. I got a glass of water and said it was 'too fucking raw'. I can't live like that, Étoiles, I can't.”

Étoiles pretends to consider the offer seriously before smiling, “Actual dinner afterward, something other than that cheap, holiday shit.”

The second grin he gets is dangerous but softened at the edges when Pomme moves to hide in his coat. It’s hard to not stare when Charlie uses a finger to pat the sugar glider’s head.

“When is it?” Étoiles steps away, heading for the couch to boot up some Mario Kart since Charlie looks like he’s going to stay now that Pomme has settled. He owes him a few rounds now for the torment later.

“Uh… in an hour? Also, you have to drive?”

Étoiles freezes, hand slack around the controller as he just stares at a sheepish Charlie, still cradling Pomme who’s wiggling into a pocket like she’s trying to hide from the scene. He wishes he could join her.

“Never mind. Go. Die.”

“Now sweetmeat hold on-”

“Sweetmeat. Charlie Slimé I am actually going to kill you, get over here-”

Étoiles contemplates kicking Charlie off of the back of his motorcycle several times during the ride from the other’s place of work, the local radio station, but Charlie is a warm weight along his back, arms at his waist. It holds off some of the December chill, even if it means a helmet thunking into his every time he brakes. Also, Étoiles is getting free dinner and gas for this; Charlie can’t pay for either if he gets left on the curb at the traffic light. That doesn’t stop Étoiles from fantasizing.

After dropping the news that the party is tonight and not later in the week, Charlie spent several minutes doing damage control for their friendship while Étoiles rushed to get dressed. He’d never cussed so much in ten minutes, running around the place he shares with four others. He has to steal shoes from Pierre and a white button-up from Badboy because he couldn’t find any of his own shit. Charlie took off his coat to reveal a dark slacks, a cream button-up, and a sage-green vest and red tie. If Étoiles hadn't been so stressed getting ready, he would have taken a moment to look- as a bro. Bros appreciate when other bros look very good in formal wear. It's normal.

The only time Étoiles slowed down is when Charlie snagged his wrists, halting his frantic attempts to tie his tie while brushing his teeth and combing his hair into something that isn’t so… cloud-like (He’d fried it a little with all the bleaching, whoops). Charlie stepped in to help, probably to save him from choking on the toothbrush or the tie (it was tempting to try, but Pomme would be sad), but Étoiles couldn’t get anything else done when they were that close, inches apart while deft fingers tied the sage-green tie, pink tongue stuck out in concentration.

It had been uh— Charlie was wearing eyeliner oh fucking shit—

He was startled out of a haze when Charlie stepped back and slapped his shoulders, “Alrighty, I’m gonna go grab our coats and meet you out by your bike okay? Don’t take too long, handsome.” Charlie winked aggressively, laughing as he left to room. Étoiles stands there in a daze, nearly losing his brush because he could not shut his fucking mouth.

Thankfully it was smooth sailing after that. Wait, no, smooth riding. Ha. Thank god Charlie biked everywhere; he is one of the few friends allowed to ride on the motorcycle with Étoiles because he didn’t threaten both of their safety ( cough Foolish and Pac cough ). However, he doesn’t wrap his arms around Étoiles’ waist like usual, instead keeping space between them with hands on his hips for stability. He did  not  pout about it, it was just very cold.

Even the party was uneventful. The most exciting thing that happened was some older lady “-stealing your young man for a dance, Charlie. Don’t worry hun, I’ll return him”. Charlie was having the time of his life laughing from the edges of the party as his coworker swept Étoiles into the crowd for a dance. Every turn they made, Étoiles made sure to glare at Charlie over her head. Once the song ended, the lady, Miss Willis he learns, pat him on the cheek before saying just one thing:

“I like you, I think you’ll be good for Charlie. Lord knows he needs some kindness in his life.”

Étoiles couldn’t say anything but a stuttered ‘thank you’ before fleeing the scene and bee-lining for his “boyfriend”. But it was pointless because Charlie turned him back around and asked for a dance.

(“To keep up appearances, Étoiles.”

“This is torture, isn’t that illegal? Something about being cruel and unusual? Isn’t that just you.”

Pierre’s shoes did nothing to protect Étoiles’ poor toes from Charlie’s deliberate stomp.)

One song accidentally turned into two, then three, and finally, four when someone's stomach growled and they both broke into giggles. They fled the dance floor laughing, stopping for a brief moment so Charlie could fill his pockets with Christmas cookies before sneaking out.

(“Sneak” is a kind word for what they did. They were shoving each other to get out the door first and laughing the whole time. Étoiles isn’t sure Charlie even needed him there because no one noticed when they finally dipped.)

Now they’re on Étoiles’ bike again, headed for some snotty restaurant because Charlie is getting him dinner as promised. Étoiles is traumatized and needs soup. Maybe a steak. He yoinks a cookie from Charlie in the meantime.

The place is stupidly posh and well-lit, and usually, they’d be very out of place in a setting like this, but they’re both in their suits still so yeah, they can blend in. Étoiles has to keep from staring at Charlie’s forearms as he rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. He’s- probably been at the gym with Fit, yeah… Étoiles' eyes are anywhere but Charlie as they walk inside, arms linked because despite riding his bike everywhere, being on the motorcycle makes Charlie’s legs wobbly. They really can't have him teetering into a table serving wine more expensive than their student loans combined.

Later, Étoiles will realize just how silly they must look. There is something in the air because neither of them can stop fucking giggling. It feels like they’re getting away with something illegal when this far from it.

Speaking of probably illegal things, right now, Étoiles is focused on one thing and one thing only: Charlie’s chest.

“Charlie,” He calmly starts after the waiter leaves with their orders, “Why is your pec moving?”

Charlie freezes, water glasses still in the air and eyes guilty guilty guilty. “What? My- my eyes are up here, man. Stop staring, we’re in public.”

The timing of Charlie finishing that sentence and Pomme peeking her head out from Charlie’s pocket could not be more perfect.

It’s a long dinner, but a good one because Étoiles gets to watch Charlie struggle to keep Pomme a secret from their waiter and the other dinners. They get plenty of nasty looks because neither of them knows how to act in such a formal setting, but no one kicks them out, even with how loud they’re being. Also, to the other patrons, it looks like Charlie is perpetually clutching his chest and it’s funnier than it should be. Étoiles gets lightheaded laughing.

Despite their behavior, towards the end of the meal, the waiter comes by with a dessert neither of them ordered because Étoiles is pushing his blood sugar right now and Charlie’s pockets are still full of sugar.

Ha. 

Charlie is in so much trouble for sneaking Pomme out of his house.

“For the happy couple.” The waiter beams, setting the… cake? Down, “Sorry if this is weird but you two are so sweet together, all the others here can be so stuffy and uptight, so you are a breath of fresh air. Enjoy!” They leave without another word.

Étoiles and Charlie stare at each other for a moment before breaking out into twin smiles. Charlie grabs a fork while Étoiles watches Charlie split the dessert in half, setting the other half aside for him presumably. He’s kind of touched. Charlie passes a forkful to him and Étoiles tastes it, nodding. “No alcohol that I can taste."

“Awesome! Can sugar gliders eat chocolate?”

Okay, one of them was going to do something stupid soon enough, might as well be Étoiles.

The waiter snickers the entire time they escort Charlie and Étoiles out. Turns out that flicking a forkful of cake is not “proper dining etiquette”, who knew. Also, sugar gliders are strictly prohibited in the dining area, no matter how cute they are. Before either of them can mourn the loss of free dessert, a to-go box is shoved into Charlie’s hands once they’re outside.

The waiter smiles, “Technically you’re not allowed back here for a year, but you should come back for your anniversary anyway. I’ve never seen my boss get so red. Night!”

Huh. They look at each other before shrugging. Score.

The ride back is slow for no reason other than it’s a nice night out and, even though they won’t say it, they’re both reluctant for it to end. Also, they have additional cargo with them, so Étoiles uses it as an excuse to take side streets and back roads. Pomme is a warm lump in his shirt and Charlie is a warm line behind him.

The stars are clear above and there’s a buzz against his back as Charlie hums. Étoiles smiles, recognizing the song they danced to earlier at the party. It’s slower this time, drawn out and pretty.

Awkwardly and out of tune, Étoiles hums back.

Chapter Text

4.

They are actually going to get arrested this time, holy shit.

It’s this only thing running through Étoiles’ head as he, Roier, Cellbit, and Charlie sprint through the abandoned glass factory they found just the other week. With the next semester starting soon and winter rearing its ugly head finally, they’ve all been antsy just sitting and waiting for break to be over.

Hence: trespassing.

All of this can be blamed on Charlie and Roier. Cellbit is here for Roier and Étoiles is here for something exciting. Also, he overheard the others planning over lunch one day and begged to be included. The more the merrier, right?

Phil is going to love that explanation when he has to come bail them out of jail. Maybe he’ll make them spend the night there again so they can “think about their actions”. Their actions had been pretty fun though so all it did was guarantee that it’d happen again. Maybe Phil will join them next time if Étoiles says “please” enough.

So here they are, with two security guards hunting them down at 2 am, probably two hours away from Cellbit’s place. The ride back is going to be legendary if they don’t die first.

They lost Roier and Cellbit probably five minutes ago after they split off in hopes of confusing the guards and making it harder for them to really know how many of them there are, but it didn’t work because there are still two on Étoiles’ tail and apparently two more getting sent after the couple. At least he’s assuming; there’s a little too much screaming from Cellbit somewhere above them for the two to be doing okay. Charlie is just ahead of him, narrowly dodging piles of shattered glass and broken beams that litter the narrow hallway. It’s a good thing he’s faster than Étoiles because he lost his glasses somewhere on the second floor and there’s no way for them to circle back now. It’s also a bad thing because Charlie loves parkour and he blends in with the unlit interior of the factory, all dark colors and brown hair. Étoiles is not worried though, Charlie’s also really loud.

“SHIT. ShitshitshitshitfuckingshitohmyFUCKINGshit AHAHAHAHHA.”

“Stop!” A guard shouts as her colleague collides with something, letting out a beautiful, pained sound.

Étoiles laughs at them, turning around the throw them the middle finger. It’s a bad time to be cocky because he immediately trips over a slab of busted concrete and would have broken every bone if Charlie’s hands hadn’t appeared out of nowhere and pulled him out of a doorway.

One of them wheezes, or maybe they both do, as the shouting grows distant and they get further away. Étoiles is greedily sucking in air as Charlie drags him around corners, in and out of doors, and downstairs until they eventually crash into a door with a busted “EXIT” sign above it. Charlie hisses as his shoulder takes a beating when the door doesn’t immediately budge under his weight, but eventually, Étoiles is able to help him wiggle the chain off the handle again. Honestly, it’s not their fault someone just tied the chain links together instead of using a padlock. Also, you would think a glass factory would have intact glass windows, but no, Charlie was able to scale the wall easily to let them in. It was too easy to sneak in.

The problems start when they get outside.

The alley they found themselves in is a dead-end one way, a chainlink fence that’s at least two stories high. Even Charlie can’t scale that. The other end of the alley is a police car, lights flashing and a policeman with their back to them and talking too… oh great, Roier and Cellbit.

They’re stuck.

“I have an idea.”

Étoiles turns to look at his friend, acutely aware of the guard's footsteps getting closer, “Really? If it’s as fun as this was, I’m all in.”

“Yeah,” Charlie looks nervous as he pulls on Étoiles’ sleeve, “Take off your jacket and ditch it near the dumpster. Hurry. And give me your hat.” Charlie pulls his dark cap off for him before yanking off his own black sweater and then… untucking his shirt? Not having glasses is causing some issues. “They couldn’t see your hair right?” Étoiles frowns, shaking his head. “Good,” Charlie sighs, still out of breath.  

Étoiles can’t tell what’s happening by the police car but Charlie squeaks, jerking Étoiles closer by his arm. The winter air is freezing against his remaining clothes and he has no idea how Charlie is managing in a short-sleeved shirt, but that’s not important right now. Somewhere in the factory behind him, the shouting gets louder. They are running out of time.

“Please don’t kick me in the dick for this.” Charlie pleads, pulling Étoiles near the dumpster slowly. He rolls his eyes and lets himself be led. This isn’t as exciting as he was hoping for.

“Charlie, come one we don’t have-”

Oh.

Oh.

Even without his glasses, Étoiles should have seen this coming. Charlie pulls back from the kiss, whispering harshly, “Come on dude, this is literally all I can-,”

They keep cutting each other off, Étoiles notes fuzzily as he surges forward to kiss Charlie this time. He’s not sure what the plan was to be completely honest, but maybe uh-yeah Charlie has to know what he’s doing. Sure. Speaking of: what is Étoiles doing right now exactly.

Charlie wheezes against his lips and Étoiles has no explanation for why he takes that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. He tastes copper as the slide of their lips becomes more wet than it should for something was supposed to be what? A distraction? A joke? He has no idea what the other was going for, just that he smells like dust and tastes like ash. Something like pennies, copper. Blood. He wonders when Charlie cut his lip or if that’s Étoiles’ fault, too aggressive for a bit.

This is a bit right? Étoiles has questions but also, he can’t seem to detach himself from the guy in front of him to ask any, hands on his hips like they’re glued there.

He’s wondering a lot of things and also nothing at the same time. The moment Charlie bites down on Étoiles’ bottom lip, he ceases to think anything at all, too busy backing Charlie into a brick wall with a groan. He swallows the gasp Charlie lets out, feeling drunk all of a sudden. Dizzy. Hot. There’s a tongue in his mouth and lights flashing behind his eyelids. Something smells like smoke.

What the fuck is going on.

Charlie fists a hand in his hair while Étoiles reciprocates by pulling him impossibly closer by his waist, nails digging into his shirt. Teeth clacking against teeth should be enough to have them both cringing back and stopping, but Étoiles only uses it to slow things down a little, take his tongue out of Charlie’s mouth. He takes a moment to kiss the other slowly and thoroughly, the slow drag of their lips warm warm warmwarmwarm. Charlie whines beneath him, high-pitched. Holy-

 “Guys.”

They both freeze, still tangled together where Étoiles has Charlie pressed against the wall, arms bracketing him like Étoiles was worried Charlie would get away. Huhhhhhhhh-

He turns around, smiling as sweetly as he possibly can, “Why hello officer! Fancy seeing you here. We are just…”

Charlie butts in shakily, “W-we are just on our way home from a wonderful date and got a little sidetracked as you can see. You know how it is, haha. Anyways, we’ll continue this somewhere at isn’t probably… a glass…factory. Oh, is this place dilapidated and abandoned? Whoops, my b.”

Étoiles is planning to agree to whatever Charlie just said, maybe as some oomph to his story, but he can’t seem to drag his eyes away from how red the other’s bottom lip is. Bitten, bleeding.

Étoiles instinctively licks his own lip and tastes copper. Huh. When he looks back up, Charlie is staring at him, eyes wide. Green. Pret-

“Oh yeah? And that date didn’t happen to take place in said abandoned glass factory that is closed?”

Charlie shakes his head once again, then harder at the cop, “Hate to break it to yah but we are just two guys-,”

“So, these don’t belong to anyone?” The cop asks, holding up— fuck, those are Étoiles’ glasses. He kind of really needs those.

Charlie groans, thumping his head against the brick wall behind him. That’s when Étoiles realizes he has a hand under Charlie’s shirt on warm, soft skin. That- when had that happened. Why. “Did the others rat us out?”

“No,” the cop shrugs, “but the one with the bandana started cheering at some point, something about the other guy owing him money? Kept chanting “mi dinero” while elbowing him. Kinda gave it away that you were the other couple, though good job with the disguises. Here,” He passes the glass to Étoiles who retracts his hands from Charlie to take, putting them on hesitantly. If he thought a flustered Charlie was bad blurry, it’s even worse with this kind of clarity.

Étoiles holds his hands up with a sigh, “Can you put me in a separate car from him? I need to rethink our relationship.”

“Hey,” Charlie snaps, all sass and no heat, “It works in those spy movies okay? What, did you want to scale the fence? With your blind ass? Okay, go ahead and be my guest, pickle.”

“Officer, what is considered battery? If I punch him right now, is that domestic abuse? What is legally within the area of ‘payback’—”

“Alright, that’s enough, you two can duke this out back at the station.” The officer cuffs them both as his partner comes over to help escort them back to a new cruiser. Cowards, not putting them in the same car with Cellbit and Roier.

Charlie stumbles as they walk, turning to look at Étoiles, considering, “I think you can get one hit in, the rest is just rude and a bit much.”

Étoiles laughs, nodding his head in agreement. “Alright okay, I will give you a black eye and then we call it even. Officer, we have reached an agreement.”

“Yeah, let pickle papi at me, this is—,”

“Oh okay, black eye and split lip now.”

“Took care of one of those already, snookums.”

“Oh my god. Can you two shut up, please.”

Back at the station while they’re being processed, Roier keeps making kissy faces at them while Cellbit laughs from the bench across from them. Charlie lurches forward like he wants to retaliate, but Étoiles grabs his shirt as best as he can with cuffed hands.

“Bro, maybe do not punch him while we’re here. We can fight properly later.”

“Did not hear that!” The clerk calls out with a tired sigh, “May want to put them in separate holding cells, Douglas. All of them, especially the two on the right. Don’t need a repeat of the alley. Reed told us all about it.”

Charlie is bright red, face buried in his hands as he giggles hysterically while Étoiles hits his head against the wall once, twice, three times like it’ll knock the embarrassment out of him. It only makes Charlie laugh harder, handcuffs jingling. It’s so stupid that Étoiles can’t help but start laughing too. He bumps shoulders with Charlie and the other bumps back until they’re trying to knock each other off the bench.

Eventually, they are separated but that never stops Charlie from waggling his eyebrows at Étoiles as suggestively as possible as Cellbit talks to Roier from across the little hallway. The other is dramatically reaching for his boyfriend and Étoiles is trying really hard to not laugh at anyone but it’s getting difficult. But Charlie’s also getting nervous, he can tell by the way he’s staying glued to the edge of the bars, as close to Étoiles as possible.

He never liked small spaces. Étoiles frowns, “Phil will be here soon enough, you know?”

Charlie shrugs and looks anywhere but his own little cell, biting his lip. “This would’ve been a really funny time to have Pomme in my pocket, don’t you agree? We can take her next time, Flippa too. Family bonding. Ooooo, Coda too, change of scenery and all. Cellbit, bring Richas. Roier, do not bring Bobby. He’ll blow our cover.”

Roier pauses his mournful cries to smile wistfully, “He has gotten so good at sounding out ‘no mames’ though, me and Jaiden are so proud.” He fakes wiping away a tear and Charlie straightens. Almost immediately Etoiles knows why.

“No mames?” And just like that, Charlie and Roier break into a terrible rendition of some song set to ‘no mames’. Étoiles cracks his head against the wall laughing so hard his chest hurts. The cop watching over them just sighs and turns away.

“… let’s also maybe also do a sobriety test, Douglas. And seriously consider using the drunk tank.”

Chapter Text

5.

Étoiles has a concussion.

It’s been a fun few hours. Minutes. Days. Who knows- Definitely not Étoiles because his head Hurts!

He can’t really lend too much thought to how it happened, because thinking past the last five minutes has him clutching the bucket to his chest like it’ll keep him from puking. Something about balls and the warm embrace of rock. The only thing he can really focus on is the white, sterile hospital floor beneath his feet and the pounding in his skull, like his brain has had enough and is finally trying to leave. He wishes someone would turn the TV off and shut off all the fucking lights. Maybe kill the sun while they’re at it. That’d be nice.

“Mr. Meilleur?”

Étoiles groans at the sound, bending closer to the bucket. The nurse (he assumes it’s a nurse, maybe it’s a grim reaper coming for him finally) hesitates before continuing.

“There’s a um… Charles Slime here? We don’t usually allow friends back here but he said-”

Oh. “Charlie Slimé,” Étoiles corrects tiredly, accent heavy on the ‘Char-’ of his name, slurred. He removes a hand from the bucket to flap at the nurse, “’s'okay, he’s— he’s my guy, my Charlie.”

It must work because the nurse doesn’t say anything else. He isn’t sure what happens, losing pockets of time, but the next thing he knows the lights are being turned off and the volume to the TV lowered to a manageable volume. He nearly cries in relief as footsteps pad toward him gently. All he can mutter is a quiet, “You are the best” to whoever his guardian angel is.

“Hey sunshine, don’t you look spectacular.”

Étoiles hums, leaning up from his best friend the Bucket to glance blearily at the embodiment of up-to-no-good. Charlie. What’s he doing here? Doesn’t matter, he’s here, that’s all Étoiles cares about.

“Charlie, can you do me a favor, s'il te plait,” He mumbles, setting the bucket aside to grab for the other. He can’t explain his action, only that Charlie looks warm and the hospital room is cold. Charlie steps closer and between Étoiles’ legs with a laugh, letting him wrap his arms around his waist. The laugh grows a little choked when Étoiles buries his face into the soft fabric of his shirt, face hidden in a muscular stomach.

Charlie brings his hands up to trace the bandages on his temple with a shaky hum, “What’s up, gorgeous?”

“Kill the sun. Pretty please. Also, do not call me that shit. Sunshine does not exist in this world, only blinding light and pain. And it's coming for me.”

Charlie laughs loudly, quickly cutting himself off to chuckle quietly when Étoiles winces. How is this guy literally the best thing in the entire world.

“You have a nice laugh. Pretty,” He says it in English even though it kind of makes him sick to divert any sort of brainpower to translating because Charlie must hear him and understand this, “I hate you.”

“Mhm, hate you too, tough guy. And I can’t kill the sun, sorry. NASA won’t let me near any of their programs ever since I said I wanted to eat a piece of moon rock and compare it to other stones on Earth. It was gonna be a great paper.”

Étoiles giggles, Charlie warm underneath him, “Their loss. I will get you a moon rock to lick.”

“My hero,” Charlie says quietly, combing gentle fingers through his hair. Étoiles sighs at the action, finally feeling a little steadier. He can hear the door opening and Charlie whispering to someone for a few minutes before someone sits down in the seat beside him. He continues to hide in Charlie, wanting to just sleep.

“Hello Mr. Meilleur, I was just speaking to your partner Charlie about the fact that you can be discharged once we get the final scan of your head back. You should be all right, but we want to make sure there is no excessive swelling or potential brain bleeds. Once we confirm everything, Charlie here can take you home!”

Home. Charlie. Mmmh, there’s something nice about how that sounds. He gives whoever is talking a thumbs up, accidentally bumping into their shoulder. They chuckle quietly and stand back up, and Charlie’s torso rumbles as he resumes talking to them, hands still in his hair, slow and gentle. Étoiles dozes a little, content.

“You know, I had to fight Phil about who was coming here.”

Charlie is helping Étoiles into a taxi. Between the two of them, neither owns a car, and riding a bike (either Charlie’s or his own) with Étoiles in the state he’s in is just asking for another trip to the hospital. Usually, Étoiles takes a bus in this kind of situation, but he can’t stand the idea of that much noise right now and Charlie can’t stand that many people in one space  ever , so taxi it is.

“How di’ you m’nage that?”

Charlie helps him buckle up before sliding in beside him, leaning forward to speak to the taxi driver. Almost instantly, the radio is turned off and Charlie is back by his side. Étoiles fumbles to grab for his hand, wondering if the space is too small for Charlie. When he finds strong fingers, he squeezes them tiredly. Charlie squeezes back.

“Manage what? Getting Phil to back off or sneak my way back into your room?”

Étoiles rests his head against the car window. “Both.”

“Told Phil I’d house-sit whenever he felt like taking that trip to go see Missa that he’s been waiting for. Also told him he was going to freak you out with how worried he was, instead I sent him in the direction of the guy who clipped you with the baseball and the concrete floor. Snuck away while he was distracted and gave the nurse my best worried-boyfriend look so he’d let me back.” Charlie leans in closer to whisper, “It was that or go the dad route Phil always pulls. I doubt I could pull that off.”

He hums, dragging Charlie into his side with a pleased smile. He forgot what got him in the hospital to begin with. The details are fuzzy, he just hopes it makes for a good story later and not a lame one. Charlie startles, giggling as he crashes into Étoiles' side.

“You are the best boyfriend, Charlie,” Étoiles says sincerely and Charlie stills beneath his arm. It’s quiet for a long moment, the only sound coming from the traffic outside. Eventually Charlie coughs and speaks again. Quiet.

“Y-yeah, you t- you’re not gonna say that when I have to wake you up every few hours for the next day. Get ready for trivia time.”

Oh fuck. “Cellbit can help, it’s fine.”

Charlie laughs again, his breath against Étoiles' cheek warm and minty. “Cellbit cannot help. No lifelines, no phoning it in, no asking the crowd. You’re on your own buddy.”

“Mh,” he shakes his head, wincing at the action when it rattles everything, “No, not on my own, Charlie."

They stay quiet for the rest of the ride, Charlie a warm weight along his side. How Étoiles gets out of the car and inside his house? He isn’t positive but it might have something to the guy making himself at home in Étoiles’ kitchen, waking him up at 3 am to ask him what happened in class the day before, crashing on the couch beside him for a few hours before waking them both back up to ask something else.

Again and again and again, Étoiles wakes up with Charlie’s head on his chest as his alarm vibrates at his side. He never complains, just drags the other closer, wondering what question he’ll get asked next.

(Maybe Charlie can be convinced to sleep in longer next time. The questions can wait, right? Surely.)

Chapter Text

+1

This fake dating thing has gotten a little out of hand, Étoiles will admit.

The worst part is how seemingly normal Charlie is about it. About all the fucking— dates, they’ve been going on so many dates. And it’s not just that, any time they need a boyfriend, the other is in the near vicinity. And yes, Étoiles said “they” because he has also been using Charlie as a boyfriend when the situation calls for it. It started back in the hospital when Charlie did it for him, pretending to be his boyfriend so he could get Étoiles home and that seemed to break a dam and the following flood has been difficult to swim through.

And well uh— Étoiles learns how to swim just so he doesn’t drown in everything that is Charlie.

Being Charlie’s fake boyfriend has become second nature at this point and he should really be worried and not looking forward to the next time Charlie steps into his space with a stupid nickname on the tip of his tongue. Étoiles’ heart should not fucking flutter whenever Charlie winds an around his shoulder or his waist or his arm—

Intertwining his fingers through Étoiles like they belong there. Pressing a kiss to his nose, cheek, temple… Another place. But it’s always when they’ve been playing pretend. It’s not real.

(…right?)

At some point, the favors turned from “Hey, come help me make dinner at my place when it’s my turn this week” to “Hey, can you be my fake boyfriend next time?” They’d just started trading favors like a weird IOU system that involves flirting and kissing.

It’s fine. Everything is totally okay.

“Hey, buttercup, next time we plan to meet up maybe don’t schedule it during a snowstorm when you know I have to walk for ten minutes to get here. I cannot feel my toes, dick.”

Charlie is a flurry of chilly air and loud noise as he dumps his stuff on the coffee table beside Étoiles. Despite the very affectionate name-calling, he’s all smiles, not a hint of resentment in his features. His cheeks and nose are rosy pink, nearly red enough that Étoiles wants to smush his hands into the skin as it’ll help. The urge to just touch the other has been getting stronger and stronger lately. Among other platonic actions.

Again, Étoiles is fine.

“Hello to you too, Charlie,” Étoiles laughs as the other removes layer after layer until he’s left in a cozy sweater and fingerless gloves. Oh, those had been a gift from Étoiles for Christmas. Oh. “I did not schedule the snowstorm. And this was the only time we could go over geology shit before I have to go meet up with Phil. We have two hours so help me, please.”

Charlie laughs, walking up to the counter, “Oh how the tables have turned~ Lemme grab something so my throat doesn’t ice over—”

“I uh-,” Étoiles pauses, pointing to the mug beside him, “This is for you? Coffee, this time.”

Charlie is frozen in the middle of the shop, just staring at Étoiles. Eventually, he shakes himself with a smile and skips back over, leaning down to hug Étoiles from behind.

“You fucking rock, green bean,” Charlie mutters into his shoulder before plopping himself beside Étoiles again and take the mug with a pleased sigh. He just holds it for a moment, eyes closed and Étoiles takes a moment to just look.

In this little coffee shop, around four on a random Thursday in January, Étoiles’ heart thumps in his chest one, twice, three times. The sun is setting outside as snow continues to pile up on the sidewalk, but in here it’s warm, both with the ambient lighting, small fireplace in the corner, and a certain guy along his side, now talking up a storm as he opens his book and notes. There is no one here to bother them, just a few other customers, all in their own little world while Étoiles and Charlie are in theirs.

Together.

Étoiles doesn’t get as much studying done as he’d hoped to, too busy dicking around with Charlie when he’s not listening to him humming along to the radio in the background. He also spends an unfortunate time just staring. Why? He isn’t sure. Maybe he has permanent brain damage from that concussion a few weeks ago.

He has so much brain damage that he barely realizes over an hour has passed and he's absorbed nothing Charlie had said, just nodding along in a haze as he looks at the stupid fucking idiot beside him. There is something seriously wrong with him but there is no time to unpack all that when he has to hunt down Phil next, fuck.

“Okay, enough rocks, I have to go meet up with Phil in a few minutes, I’ll see you later for movie night? Mouse’s place right?”

“Yep,” Charlie chirps, grin toothy and lips very pink.

“Alright, see you later, Charlie.” Étoiles hums, squeezing his hand. He gathers his things from the table while Charlie continues to babble beside him, listing off his predictions for what movie Tubbo is going to choose tonight. He leans down to grab his coffee before turning to press his lips to Charlie’s with a hum, standing back up and weaving his way through the shop and to the door.

It’s a cold walk to his bike but still, Étoiles feels really warm for some reason.

It takes him ten minutes into his meetup with Phil for Étoiles to realize what the fuck he just did.

“Oh my fucking god,” He hisses, faceplanting onto the top of the table. Phil laughs across from him.

“All good there, king?” He snorts, setting his pencil down with a click.

“Nooooo,” Étoiles moans, “I need you to kill me right now. Make it painful and memorable, please. Tell my mother I am sorry. Tell Pomme to never listen to anything I said to her, it’s terrible. I’m terrible.”

“Sorry, can’t do that, mate. Need your help with this project, plus I just like having you around.”

Despite the pure agony Étoiles is feeling, that last little line has him smiling. He leans off of the table just a little to look at Phil, “I think you are the best person in this world besides Pomme. Have I told you this? Does Missa tell you that enough? I can talk to him if not. Friendly talk, don’t worry.”

“Hmm no avoiding the topic, Étoiles. Does this have anything to do with the fifty texts Charlie sent me in the span of three minutes?”

Never mind, Étoiles hates Philza Minecraft. “No.”

The other barks out a laugh. “You’re bad at lying. What did you do? I don’t think he strung together one coherent word. Even Baghera was stumped and asked if this was normal. How’d you manage that?”

“I…I— oh fuck it, I kissed him, Phil, I kissed Charlie Slimé and then just left like nothing happened. I am the worst. I kissed and then I left and now I am telling. I should be put to death for my crimes.”

Phil makes a confused sound, “Really? That’s it? Haven’t you two kissed before?

What the fuck is going on, does Phil not get his dilemma? Étoiles sits up and stares at Phil, desperate for him to understand how serious this is.

“Of course we have kissed before, but that was for the sake of pretending. I do not make a habit of kissing my friends on the lips normally. That is Roier. What are you talking about? Am I not actually insane?”

They stare at each other for a long, loooong moment before Phil brings his hands up and presses them to his eyes with a tired sigh. “Don’t tell me you two aren’t actually dating.”

Oh my god.

“No! We are not! What the fuck, Philza.”

“Why are you acting surprised that I would think this, Étoiles!” Phil is nearly shouting in the library, “Charlie flirts with you like it’ll kill him if he doesn’t and you flirt back, all the fucking time mate. Not to mention the dates you keep going on.”

“Those were not dates-”

His friend snorts derisively, “Oh, really? So, you just keep getting food with Charlie, sharing dessert, kissing each other on the cheek like all bros do? What were you doing literally 20 minutes ago?”

This is starting the feel like an interrogation. “… getting coffee with my bro. Platonically.”

“Étoiles,” Phil sighs, bringing his hands up to rest them on his shoulders, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but it really sounds like you two are a little more than friends. I mean, friends don’t make out in an alley while running from the police.”

Oh. “How did you…”

“When I came to pick you guys up, the guy who brought you all in told me to make sure you two found a more… I think his words were ‘safe and legal place to trade spit’. I had my suspicions before that but when Charlie came in begging to be the one who went to the hospital after you got knocked out, freaking the fuck out, it kind of sealed the deal. Guess I was either wrong or you are.”

Étoiles isn’t really sure what to say to any of that. He hates being wrong but… what’s the harm in being wrong this time. What’s the outcome: him and Charlie dating? That— he should probably be freaking out over that a little more than he is right now. Huh.

“Yeah,” Phil continues, releasing his shoulders before waving sheepishly at a pissed librarian, “Thought so. Go fix this mess before Charlie like, actually melts into the floor out of pure stress. You know where he is probably.”

Yeah, he does. Predictable.

“How long until Mike hunts me down and threatens my dick?”

Phil shrugs, laughing, “He’s probably the third or fourth person Charlie called, but since Baghera is in an exam now, I don’t know, twenty minutes? I can get Pac to distract him to buy you some time. Baghera will actually kill you if you haven’t fixed things by the time she finishes. Also? Go find a better spot to go make out please, I’m not bailing you out this time.”

When has Étoiles ever been safe about anything? Charlie either? Like he can read his mind, Phil rolls his eyes, shooing him away with a, “Go, get. You’re finishing this project later by the way.”

Étoiles peels out of there with a wave and towards where Charlie must be hiding. He has a fake date to make a reality.

“Charlie?”

Étoiles creeps into the botany classes’ greenhouse, a decent-sized shed near the science building. Charlie isn’t taking any classes that would really justify him having access to the building, but his old professor liked having him in her class so much that she gave him a key (Étoiles gets it, he already gave Charlie a key to his place a long time ago). Even in the dead of winter, the place is warm and humid, so much so that Étoiles almost doesn’t need his jacket, but it’s a small comfort he has right now.

He walks between the isles quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace. He gets closer to the back of the shed, following the voice he knows so well. He gets close enough to start making out words and has to hold back a laugh.

“-I mean, come on Coda, what else was I supposed to think after that shit?” Charlie stresses and there’s a little meow, almost in response. Étoiles steps out from behind a set of shelves holding several ferns, looking at Charlie’s back. He’s sitting on the ground next to a little concrete table, books piled onto the surface and Coda, a campus stray that looks almost like Flippa’s twin except for the eyes, staring at him as he continues moaning.

“I swear, there was no reason to this time! It— we were just studying, this was not a ‘let's kiss for fake’ scenario.”

“Maybe that’s because it wasn’t fake to me.”

Charlie startles but Coda stays calm, meowing loudly and running towards Étoiles happily chirping and purring, the sound rough and deep. He scoops her up, scratching behind her ears aggressively. Étoiles takes some satisfaction in the fact that she likes him the most out of anyone besides Charlie. Speaking of, the other man is staring at him, eyes wide and cheeks red red red.

“Hi,” Étoiles says awkwardly, all previous bravado gone as he just stands here. Charlie blinks and closes his mouth. The greenhouse is unnervingly quiet save for Coda’s aggressive, engine-like purring as he continues to smooth down her fur as best he can. It's soothing.

“H-hi. Here to steal Coda? She’s fussy today.”

Étoiles shakes his head and finally walks closer, seating himself on the ground beside Charlie. This is terrifying holy shit. “No, here for you.”

“Oh,” Is all Charlie says for a moment, “Well— H-here I am! What do you need, buddy?”

Buddy. Oh fuck it.

“You,” Étoiles mummers before leaning in, releasing Coda to cup Charlie’s cheek, pulling him as close as he dares.

If he thought he was warm in the greenhouse just by himself, it’s even worse with Charlie’s lips pressed against his. He doesn’t move to deepen the kiss at all, no, he’s content to just let Charlie’s bottom lip rest between his. It’s rough, like he’s been chewing on them which is probably Étoiles’ fault. He shifts his lips just a little, brushing his thumb against Charlie’s jaw, clean-shaven, in a quiet apology. Like he was waiting for something, Charlie goes lax against him, sinking into his side with a quiet hum, pulling back only to move in again, lips pressing firmly against Étoiles.

Warmwarmwarmwarmwarm—

It’s a brief kiss, just barely longer than the one nearly an hour ago. It’s almost too much and yet not enough, but Étoiles has to pull back because Charlie clearly won’t. Ugh, what door did he just open for them both?

“What was that for,” Charlie says, dazed. He keeps looking at Étoiles’ lips like he can’t help it. It’s really funny he even notices because Étoiles is doing the same.

“I think I am tired of playing pretend,” Étoiles shrugs, “I also need to cash in on one of the many favors you owe me. Charlie, I need you to be my boyfriend.”

Charlie laughs, disbelief coloring his features, but there’s also something like… hope, “That’s my line, why are you flipping the script on me now?” He leans in a little closer, a small smile on his face. Étoiles would like to hurry this conversation up so he can taste it.

“I have been following your lead for a while now and look where it’s gotten us. Nowhere.”

Charlie leans back and raises an eyebrow. Étoiles nearly complains but the other speaks before he can, “Load of shit, dude. I think it’s my lead that has us where we are right now. Give me some credit.”

Étoiles laughs brightly, pulling Charlie back into his space. He leans in until he’s just barely an inch away from Charlie’s lips, their noses brushing. He says his next words into the small space between them, focused on Charlie’s pretty eyelashes resting against his cheek as his eyes close.

“Credit where credit is due. Now, can you shut up? I would like to kiss you, Charlie.”

They both shut up very fast after that. They shut up for quite a few minutes actually. Coda whines the entire time because she’s not getting any attention but it’s hard to care when there are teeth sinking into someone’s lip softly and a quiet gasp in response. It’s a great, long few minutes until they clearly hear the door of the building slams open. Charlie doesn’t pull back, just mummers, “Prolly some student checking on their homework. Nerds.” Against Étoiles’ lips before diving back in for a bruising kiss. The slide of his bottom lip against Étoiles’ is almost distracting enough to not hear what’s said— shouted next.

“ÉTOILES. Se você está aqui com Charlie, juro por Deus-"

Étoiles pulls back with a wince, “Ah, I believe your brother is here to kill me.”

Charlie rolls his eyes, pressing one last short kiss to the corner of his mouth before pulling back fully. “Nah, it’s all good. Coda and I will distract him while you sneak out. Take the path through nursery shelves, they’re tall enough to hide behind. After this maybe don’t go somewhere predictable, yeah?”

It’s his turn to roll his eyes, “What, like your bedroom or mine? Alright, I guess I’ll go back to Phil and finish our project. Salut, sweetheart. Dear. Sugar. Angel. Bebé. Sweetmeat—“

“Mike!” Charlie laughs, pushing Étoiles away, “He’s back here, hurry, he’s gonna sneak through the plant nursery shelves on your l-right! On your right! He made me cry, bro.” Charlie sniffles loudly for emphasis and Étoiles cackles into the humid air of the greenhouse.

“Connard,” Étoiles mutters fondly, pressing a firm kiss to Charlie’s cheek before fleeing. Maybe Coda will save his ass as he weaves in and out of shelves, his boyfriend’s laugh echoing behind him and Mike’s lively cursing somewhere to side. The grin he’s wearing threatens to split his lip from just how fucking happy he is right now.

The thrill of being chased is nothing compared to the realization that Étoiles has Charlie now and there’s nothing fake about it.

Maybe there never was anything fake to it.