Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Maverick had pissed off some admiral again, and of course Iceman had to make a call to Mav’s current work place. Maverick felt bad, for making ice to clean off his mess, again.
But Mav is like that, and he can't change that so easily.

When Maverick got home, he noticed that he was not the only one who had a bad day.
Apparently Ice also had a bad day, so Maverick started to walk to his boyfriend, who stopped him by raising his hand up so averick stopped walking to Ice.
“Ice? Is everything okay? Did something happen?” Mav asked, concerned about Ice.
Ice started laughing a little. “Did something happen? really?” Ice asked and now looked at Maverick with a cold look. “uh..Yeah?..” Maverick said, which got Ice laughing a Raspy laugh. “Do you not realize how tiring it is to once or twice a week to get a call from your commander or admiral? How tiring it is to go and try to save your career?” Iceman asked, looking at Maverick. Mav didn't say anything, so Ice kept going, “Are you not going to say anything?”. Ice asked, even Ice didn't seem to understand why he was mad at Maverick.

Maverick was shocked, and was now looking at Ice. “Listen Tom, I-i am really sorry…” Maverick started, but he didn't know what else to say. “ Sorry, does not fix all these things, Pete,” Ice said and sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I think we need a break.. I don't know how long, or if it will last forever. But I need to get out for a while” Iceman said quietly.
Iceman didn't look at Maverick.. Maverick didn't say a thing, he couldn't get a word out of his mouth. When Tom didn't get an answer he just sighed. “I'm going to move in with Slider for a while…” Tom said and then walked to their bedroom. When Iceman was ready, he walked to Maverick.
“Bye, Mitchell” After that Tom Kazansky walked out of Mavericks life, leaving him alone.
“Bye,Kazansky” was only heard as a quiet whisper.

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Maverick was alone, agaín. Tom had just left him.. Mav knew that Tom was probably hurting too, that he was not the only one who was hurting. Maverick sighs and starts to walk towards his bedroom, which was full of IceMan's smell. The man falls on his bed, finally letting tears come out of his eyes. He thought of calling Goose, but he didn't want to disturb his time by calling him..

The next day, Mav couldn't get up from his bed, so he called off sick, even though he knew that Goose would think where the hell is he. The whole day went off with Mav just laying on his bed, looking up to his ceiling..

He didn't even notice how slow but at the same time how fast time has flown by.
Maverick had ended up skipping the whole week of work, saying that he had caught some kind of bug or something. Goose has been asking him what's up, only getting short answers from Maverick, saying that he was sick and needed to sleep it off. Some days, he didn't even get a response..

One day, Maverick decided that he had been too long at home, so he decided to be smart and go to a bar! How's a smart thing from Maverick.. He didn't really have anyone to go with, so he had decided to go alone.

When Maverick had finally gotten to the bar, there was Hollywood and Wolfman! of course they noticed them, and invited him to go and sit with them. “Where's ice? You two are usually very attached” Hollywood joked, which got Wolfman laughing. “We uh… Kinda broke up?” Mav said, his voice sounded a little bit raspy. “Oh-.. Well I'm sorry to hear that Mav..” Rick said. “Yeah.. uh-.. im sorry too Mav” Leonard said.. “It's okay guys.. You didn't know so” Maverick said and gave them a sad smile. “Anyways, Who's ready to drink?!” Hollywood said with a loud voice.

And that's how their night went. They drank a lot and it was a time when Mav was even a little bit happy. After 2Am Hollywood and Wolfman decided to go home. “You know Mav.. You can come with us if you want” Wolfman said, smiling a little bit. “No.. But thanks anyways.. And thank you for tonight” Maverick said. “How are you getting home?” Rick asked now and looked at Mav. “I came with my Bike.. But I'm walking it home so I'm walking tonight.” Mav said, smiling a little bit. “Oh okay.. Good thing” Hollywood said.
“Anyways, See you later Mav! feel free to call us anytime” Wolfman said and started walking off with hollywood. As soon the two of them disappeared into darkness. Mav started to walk to his bike hoping on it and started at first slowly, but then faster. Angry Tears started to fall on his face, he knew it was just alcohol that got him emotional.

Maverick ended up crashing that night.

Pov Goose:

Goose has been having a weird week. He and Slider had been chilling on a sofa, when weirdly looking Iceman had turned behind on their door with his few things.
Goose did not really know why, But Slider seemed to know, and Goose didn't try and fish information out.. Only thing Ice had said to him that day was to check on Maverick.

First day after Ice showed up to their door, he left for work only hearing that Maverick wasn't coming that day, either day after that, or that. Goose we're alone at work the whole week. He kept asking Mav how he was, and where he was. Only answers he got was that he was sick, or didn't get an answer from Mav.

Goose sighed quietly, he was on the sofa with Ron and Tom, he looked quietly at his phone.
“Nick? Everything okay?” Ron asked when he looked at his boyfriend. “yeah.. or no, i don't know” Nick said frustrated. He hasn't gotten a text from Mav for while even though he kept asking how he was, only a few days ago he got to know that Ice and Mav broke up.. or taked Break whatever that was. “Is something wrong? You have been looking at your phone awfully a lot in the past few hours.” Ron said looking at Nick confused. “It just Mav.. I haven't gotten a response from him in the past few days…” Nick sighed. Ron glanded Tom who looked a little bit concerned about his ex-boyfriend. “It's just not like Mav..He always responds to me” Nick said with a quiet voice. “it's probably nothing..He's maybe just dealing with things.. or then he is really sick and doesn't have energy to answer..” Ron said, trying to comfort.. “Maybe..” Nick said he met Ron's face with a small smile on his face.

Slider soon opened his phone, and he had gotten a message from Hollywood. “What the fuck” Ron said and looked at message. It was a picture of three persons at the bar and it included Hollywood himself, Wolfman and fucking Maverick. It was just about an hour ago, and the clock was just now 2am. “What?” Was asked by both of the persons who Ron was with sitting on Sofa. “Nick, I think I know why Mav hasn't answered you tonight..” Ron said with quiet sight. He still hasn't shown the pic to Nick and Tom. “Look at this pic i got from Hollywood” Ron said and showed the phone to two of them. “Mav what the fuck!” Nick yelled as Mav was in the room and not in the pic.. “Well he has been busy toning..” Tom said with a quiet voice and sighed.

“Show me the pic better” Nick said and snatched Ron's phone from his hand and looked at Pete better. His pilot was smiling in the photo, but Nick has been knowing Mav so long that he knows that ain’t real smile on his face. Pete looked sad, and drunk of course.

Soon Nick got a call on his phone, he looked at an unknown number and he answered immediately. “Nick Bradshaw on the phone” He said to the phone. Ron looked at Nick first and then Tom. “Why the hell does somebody get a call at 2am?!” Ron said and rolled his eyes.
Then Ron looked at his boyfriend’s face which had changed pale. “I'll be there..I uh-,.. Thank you for the call” Nick said, His voice was probably trembling as he spoke. When Nick had ended the call he standed up from the sofa. “Hey, hey.. What happened?” Ron asks quietly, he was concerned about his boyfriend. “I need to go to the hospital.. They uh-.. they need me there” Nick said quietly. “Why do they need you to the hospitals?” Ron asked.

“Because Mav crashed”

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“Because Mav crashed”. Nick said with a shaky voice, and started to walk toward their door.
“Wait what?!” Ron said and now looked at Tom who was paler than Nick seconds ago.
“I need to go to him.. He needs me” Nick said and walked out of the door, Ron and Tom coming after him. “We're coming too..” Ron said and glanded at Tom who nodded. “Thanks.. I will drive us there..” Nick said, and after everyone was in the car, he started it and started to drive to hospital.

When they finally got to Hospital, Nick went straight to Info place. “Hey, I'm Nick Bradshaw.. I'm looking for Pete Mithell? he was apparently brought here?” Nick asked.
Desk lady started typing something and then nodded. “ He's in room 220.” Desk lady said and gave Nick a soft smile. “Thank you so much, miss.” Nick said and also gave her a smile before looking at Tom and Ron. “Let's go?” He asked and both nodded to him. Three men started to walk towards the room where the desk lady had said Pete was..

Mav’s Pov:

Mav Had woken up at hospital, he had survived with concussion, some bruises and two broken bones on his ribs.. His Doctor had said it was a miracle that he survived that fast of speed, without a helmetAfter that Mav had passed out.. When Pete woke up again, He kind of hoped he wouldn't.. Because when he opened his eyes, in the room with him were Goose, Slider and Iceman..

“oh wow.. This idiot finally woke up” Goose said, annoyed. Slider and Iceman walked to Gooses behind, Slider was looking at Mav concerned but Ice was looking somewhere else..
“Oh.. Hi Goose..” Mav said, trying to give a small smile. “Don't you ‘Oh hi Goose’ me... What the hell were you thinking?! Drive home without a helmet, drunk as hell!?” Goose yelled.
“Goose listen, I wasn't in the right headspace at the time.. I was drunk” Mav started quietly.
“Oh believe me, I know.. Do you have any idea how scared I was when I got a call at 2am saying that you were in hospital cause you crashed!? I thought you almost died!” Goose said, almost yelling,he had even a few tears in his eyes.. Mav was quiet.. He didn't say anything..

“I have been trying to contact you the whole week! i-i i was just thinking that maybe you were sick, maybe you just focussed on getting better” Goose said angrily. “But no! Apparently you haven't been sick, and today you finally decided to go drinking with Wolf and Holly! They said you have told them that you're walking home tonight!” Nick said. He was so scared for Mav that he was saying things too angry. “Apparently you lied to them too! You fucking lying bastard!” Nick said and stood up from the bench. Mav still wasn't saying anything, He was too shocked.. “I need a break from you Mav, I have been trying to be there for you.. But you keep pushing me away..” Goose said not looking at Mav anymore..
“W-what..” Mav said with a shaking voice.. Slider looked shocked by Goose's decision, but nodded quietly, being the same mind as his boyfriend. Now Mav glanded Tom, who was shocked.. “You heard me Mav.. Maybe it was the right choice from Ice to break things with you. You're reckless and fucking dangerous” Goose said and after that he looked at his boyfriend, and then Tom. Before Goose walked out of the door he turned around and gave a cold look to Pete. “I hate you for this u’know” And after that Goose was gone.
Slider and Tom were still standing in Pete's room, still a little bit shocked about Goose's outburst. They left almost right away, not even looking at Pete..

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Mav had got out of the hospital the next day.. He didn't sleep anymore that day, in his head were only Goose's words.. ‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’ were playing on Pete’s head
He was at this moment in his bedroom, Mav was clutching his own head, trying to silence the voices. “They all hate me.. Tom, Ron, Rick, Leonard… and now Goose hates me too!” Pete said quietly. “He's right.. I am dangerous..Why do i always fuck thing up” he said quietly.

Mav had fucked the only few good things in his life.. He somehow succeeded to ruin his and Tom’s relationship, now he ruined his friendship with Goose, and probably ruined his friendship with Hollywood and Wolf by lying to them. Mav sighed quietly standing up from his bed. He thought of changing his Emergency contact.. It was Goose, but now Mav felt like it wasn't the right thing, only because he didn't want to bother the man again with his problems or anything. Mav sighted and standed up from his bed, starting to walk around his house. He couldn't anymore go for a ride with his bike, because it was scrapped somewhere.
“Fucking hell..” Mav said quietly, he wished he could just talk to someone. Usually Mav talked to Ice or Goose. Maybe if he just apologized again to Nick? Maybe it was just some weird anger boost and maybe Goose didn't really mean it..

Mav had ended up in his bathroom, he had grabbed a wash basin . holding it tightly, his knuckles almost white..^You're joking right? Of course he meant it.^ Mav closed his eyes. ^You always manage to get people pissed off with you. No wonder everyone leaves you ^ The voice in Maverick's head said ^First you Dad, then Your Mom, You almost killed Goose once..Then Ice leaves, and now everyone else? How fucking pathetic you can be^. The voice kept going. “Please stop.” Mav said quietly, trying to ignore the voice.. The voice in his head was silent for almost a minute. ^Your friends think you're pathetic, too Reckless and Dangerous to be around, and truly,you think so too. ^ It said. ^Just a Pathetic litl-^ The voice had started but was interrupted by Maverick's hit on the bathroom Mirror, with that blood started to come out of his hand storming. After that, the voice finally stopped.
Mav`s hand was bleeding a little bit of blood, So Mav quietly bandaged it, before looking at the mirror which was bloody and Broken. Mav didn't bother to clean it, he just left the bathroom after that.. Maverick’s phone started to ring, Mav didn't answer it the first time, or second. And before he even knew what he had done, the phone was broken next to the wall opposite of him. ^ And there's goes the phone.^ The voice laughed. Mav really didn't care about that one anymore, he just wanted this place to be quiet, and the voice in his head didn't make it any easier.

Mav was now sitting on the ground, he was in one of his houses' halls. just leaning against the wall. His phone didn't make any sound anymore, the voice in his head was also quiet.
This was something that man had wanted. His thoughts went again to Tom. And Mav really felt bad that he had made Ice to do so much work because of him. If he wouldn't have broken his phone, he would go and try to call ice, just to apologize to him. ^As if he would even forgive you anymore^. Voice said “Please shut up..” Mav said, his hands were shaking, so was his voice. Almost immediately the voice changed its speaking voice, and it started to sound like a Goose’s voice. Goose's voice started to repeat the same thing that the actual person had said. ^I hate you,i hate you, i hate^ voice said, knowing how painful it would be to Mav’s brain.

( Now then. If suicide is triggering thing, please skip this! In the next chapter it will also be on the subject.. Please take of yourself<3)

Mav wanted the voices to stop, no he needed them to stop. Soon he standed up, walking towards his tablet, and sitting on a bench next to the tablet. Maverick started to write some notes to his ‘friends’.. He firstly wrote to Ice.

“My dear Tom,

Don't blame yourself, I just wanted the voices to stop you’know..
isn't it funny? The only thing I have heard the whole day, was how pathetic I am.
how everyone hates me. It's okay though, at least I can get my quiet time after this.
I'm sorry, my love.. For hurting you, making you work so much, and worrying if I was coming back from my reckless flying..

Your Wingman.

Pete.”

Was written on his ex-boyfriend’s paper. Then Mav Started writing one for Goose, Carole, and some other people. Mostly just apologizing how he was. Maverick left the notes on the table. Before disappearing back to the bathroom, where he would go and off himself.
Maverick took one of his shaving Razors on his hand, now putting it to his wrist, starting to make the first small cut, not even a very deep one.. Maverick took a deep breath, before on the next cut, he went Deeper.. He fell on his floor to sit, still holding his razor blade.
^ Just a few more deep ones, and it will be finally over^ the voice said. After that, Mav went to do a few more deep ones, starting to feel dizzy. The voice finally left him alone.

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Ungoing! deleting the story prob