Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Jason wakes up in the afterlife, he’s a little disappointed. He didn’t think it would hurt quite so badly, or be so… sterile. He sits up, and immediately his vision darkens. There’s two hands on him now, one on his chest and one on his shoulder, and whoever it is saying- well, something. 

“-son? Jason, woah, you with me?” It’s a familiar voice, but Jason still feels a little fuzzy. 

His vision comes back to him, and he blinks against the blurry vision. Huh. Thought he’d have perfect vision down here. 

“You need to take it easy, bro. You should lay back down.” Jason turns his head to his right. His heart drops. He might not have his glasses, but he’d recognize the guy next to him anywhere. 

“Percy-“ Jason’s voice catches in his throat. He feels hot tears roll down his cheeks as he cups Percy’s concerned face. “What are you- you’re not supposed to be- why are you d- dead?” Jason gasps. Percy shakes his head, a soft smile on his face as he covers Jason’s hand with his own. 

“I’m not dead. And neither are you. Jason, you’re alive, ” he says. Jason’s world halts. 

What? 

Panic rises in his throat like bile, and yeah, maybe there’s a little actual bile. 

Piper-

Percy must be able to see it on his face. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Piper’s fine. She told us everything, she’s okay. She’s out at lunch with everyone else.” The relief that washes over him sends Jason softly back into the sheets. He doesn’t even think to ask why Percy isn’t with them.

“How?” He asked. “How come I’m not dead?” Not that he isn’t grateful, of course. It’s just that, you know, a little embarrassing to make a dramatic sacrifice like that just to not die. Percy makes a strange sort of expression, almost like he’s confused. 

“Uh, your- your dad stepped in, actually,” he says. “Just in the nick of time, really,” Percy follows in a much quieter voice. It’s then that Jason notices the grip Percy has on his hand. “I’m really glad you’re alive, Jason.” Percy gives him a smile, and he suddenly looks exhausted. How long had he been out…? He doesn’t feel like stressing Percy out anymore, and anyway he’s still so, so tired. 

“I think I’m gonna-“

“Yeah,” Percy interrupts. “Get some rest, man.”

The next time Jason wakes up, he’s still sore, but not nearly as badly as before. Percy is nowhere to be found, but he’s not alone for long. The door opens and-

“Leo!” Jason sits up in bed, swinging his legs over but quickly finding it hard to stand. Leo, surprisingly, catches him. 

“Hey, let’s not do that. You’ve been in bed for like a week, take it slow.” Jason can’t really focus on how long he was out because he’s far too busy squeezing his best friend. “Good to see you too,” Leo huffs against Jason’s shoulder, arms snaking around his waist to squeeze him back. 

“ Gods, I’ve missed you so much,” Jason says, and he’s crying for the second time since he Did Not Die. 

“I missed you too,” Leo laughs, pulling back and Jason’s glad to know he isn’t the only one crying. 

“We all did,” comes a voice from the door, and then Piper is shoving Leo out of the way to hug him so hard his wounds ache. She holds onto him as she softly sobs into his ear.

When she pulls back, she smacks him on the back of the head. 

“Are you stupid? You could have gotten yourself killed! You almost died!” Jason rubs the back of his head and shrugs sheepishly. 

“Uh, that was kinda the point?” This does not earn a laugh from either Piper or Leo. He sighs and tries to give her a sincere look that he’s pretty sure is just him squinting. “I’m sorry, Pipes. I just… didn’t want it to be you.” 

It’s quiet for a while, then Piper sighs and wipes her eyes. 

“I know, Jason.” 

Leo takes the following silence to be his cue to clap his hands together. 

“Well, I’ll let the doctor and Percy know you’re up,” he says. 

“Percy?” Jason asks.The doctor makes sense, but Percy? Jason’s not confident Percy knows how to properly put on a bandaid. 

“He’s been worried sick about you ever since you arrived. He’s only slept like. Once. And not for long,” Piper says softly. “You really scared him. Scared all of us.” Jason hangs his head, not sure what to say. They both seem to decide Jason needs his privacy and leave him to his thoughts. 

When he finally leaves the hospital that evening, Percy is the one hovering over him. Jason is holding tight to Percy’s offered arm as they walk to Percy’s apartment. He’d insisted Jason stay with him rather than the cold, boring hospital or the crowded barracks. Jason coughs every few steps, pointedly ignoring the concern etched on Percy’s face each time he does.

Jason doesn’t want Percy to leave once he’s sitting on Percy’s pull-out couch, and maybe Percy is a mind reader, because he sits so close to Jason that their knees are brushing. Percy yawns, and Jason takes the moment to really look at him. 

Percy’s hair is messy, more than usual, and he’s got some serious dark circles under his eyes. He looks absolutely exhausted. Piper said he’d only slept once, but Leo had said he’d been out for- a week? Jason’s chest tightens with guilt instead of a cough. Honestly, he hadn’t thought Percy would have been this worried about him, but it seems like Percy’s been taking it the hardest. 

Jason’s struggling to figure out what to say when Percy breaks the silence. 

“You know, when I found out I was a demigod, people told me I probably wouldn’t make it past sixteen. They thought I’d be lucky to make it that far,” he says, fingers picking at the knees of his jeans. “And I mean, I barely did. Like, holy shit, I almost died like, so much.” Percy laughs, but it’s not funny. He sobers up, pressing a fist into his thigh. “But I- I figured that it wasn’t a threat to you, because you’ve been training for this kind of stuff your whole life. I mean, come on. Son of Jupiter, former Praetor and Centurion? Struck down at sixteen? It’s laughable.” Percy sniffs. “ Was laughable. I- don’t think it’s quite so funny anymore. I thought out of everyone, I’d at least never lose you.”

Well. Doesn’t that just make Jason feel like shit. 

“You didn’t lose me,” Jason tries to comfort. Percy looks up at him then, something like pain and fury flashing across his face before it settles into weariness. 

“I did,” Percy says, quietly. “You were breathing when they made it here. But you stopped breathing in my arms. Twice.” Tears well up in his Percy’s eyes. He turns his head away but Jason still sees them fall. So that’s why… 

“Percy, I-“ 

“I had to pull the blood out of your lungs, man. You were drowning in it.” Percy’s voice is shaky. Jason reaches out then, taking both of Percy’s hands in his. 

“I’m so, so sorry, Percy,” he says, and then it’s quiet. 

Finally, Percy repositions his hands to hold Jason’s and looks back at him. 

“Can’t blame you. I probably would have done the same thing,” Percy admits. He grins suddenly. “Besides, I’m the one who gets to help you get back on your feet. So that’s pretty much punishment enough.” Jason rolls his eyes and pretends it doesn’t feel like a reward. 

Okay, so Percy’s idea of “getting Jason back on his feet” is most certainly a punishment. Percy spends the next week basically not letting Jason do anything by himself except use the bathroom. He doesn’t even let Jason bathe alone for the most part, doing everything but his bits while Jason sits in a tub with swim trunks on. But honestly? Maybe it’s the way Percy works his hands over sore muscles and fading wounds, or maybe it’s the company, or maybe Percy’s somehow sharing a little of that healing power with him, but Jason feels infinitely better after each bath. 

By day five, thanks to what Jason is convinced is a mixture of magical doctoring and Percy’s baths, the wound has healed into just a gnarly looking scar. This did not change Percy’s ways until the Tuesday after Jason woke up. 

“Percy, I’m fine. Come on, let’s do something. Sparring?” Percy immediately shoots him down. 

“Absolutely not. If you really wanna do something that bad, we can go swimming.” The Because I can keep you safe in the water part goes unsaid, but Jason feels it either way. He reluctantly agrees, shimmying into swim trunks yet again. 

Jason’s having a bit of a crisis. The crisis is that Percy looks good in just swim trunks that have got to be a size too small for him, and by that Jason means he looks super fucking hot. And like, it’s not like he’d never noticed the fact that Percy was built like a god, or the veins that rippled up his arms, or how wonderfully tan his skin was, but this was different somehow. Now? With Percy’s hair wet and slicked out of his face, and water running over his shoulders, and his eyes somehow perfectly matching the bluish green of the lake? Well, Jason’s mouth has been dry the entire time. 

Percy seems at home in the water, worry rolling off of him and dissolving. He looks more refreshed than he has since Jason arrived, and for that Jason is glad he agreed to go swimming. On the other hand, watching Percy dive under deeper waters, Jason is unpleasantly reminded that he is not the best swimmer. He knows Percy wouldn’t let him drown, certainly not after- well. Jason doesn’t want to think about that. But still, the idea of being literally up to his neck in water stresses him out a little. 

Percy surfaces about three yards away from Jason, who is staying very safely at chest level. Percy shakes water out of his hair, grinning wildly. Jason’s heart does a weird sort of flip before deciding to try and crawl up his throat as Percy starts towards him, cutting through the water easily. He stops a little closer to Jason than is entirely appropriate, close enough that Jason can feel Percy’s heavy, excited breathing on his face. 

“Come on, I wanna show you something.” Jason doesn’t really get the chance to protest before Percy is tugging him further out. Jason opens his mouth to say something about the water lapping at his shoulders, and he quickly closes it when Percy pulls them both underwater. He takes as big a breath as he can, only to find that he can’t hold it very long. Jason squeezes his eyes shut as he exhales and inhales sharply, expecting water to flow into his throat, but all that comes in is air. He opens his eyes slowly to find himself standing in a bubble on the bottom of the lake, his hand firmly in Percy’s. 

A small school of fish swim past them. Jason watches the sunlight that’s made it through the water glint off of their scales. He turns his attention to a small slider, making its way slowly above them. 

“Like it?” Percy asks. Jason looks at him. Percy looks almost nervous, although Jason can’t imagine what for. Bathed in dappled light, Percy looks beautiful. He’s preoccupied watching fish pass, probably doesn’t even know Jason is staring. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah,” Jason agrees breathlessly. “Real pretty.” 

A week and a half later, with a doctor’s clearance and Percy’s permission, Jason finds himself standing in a sparring circle, twisting his sword in his hand. Of course, Percy is the one who stands across from him, fiddling with Riptide. He’s shifting his weight from foot to foot, clearly about to change his mind.

“Come on, Jackson, scared I’ll hurt you?” Jason teases, trying to get Percy to just hurry up and uncap his sword. 

“More worried about you getting hurt than me,” Percy answers, but he uncaps Riptide anyway and settles himself into the lazy sort of fighting stance that Jason has come to expect from Percy when his life isn’t on the line. 

“That’s if you could lay a single hit on me.” Jason pushes his glasses up a little further on his nose. Percy twirls his sword once, shrugging.

“Hey, you asked for it, bro.” It’s all the warning Jason gets before Percy is stepping towards him, swinging his sword. Jason brings his own up in an easy block, scoffing as he sidesteps the blade.

“It’s been almost three weeks, Percy. You’re not gonna break me.” Jason takes his opening to lunge at Percy, who brings his own sword up. That seems to be the final straw for Percy to start taking him seriously.

Jason starts off a little roughly, being the most out of practice he’s been since… ever. The clanging metal and Percy’s rough pants spur him on, however, and soon it’s almost like he’d only been out of commission for a day. Occasionally one of them will shout out a taunt, or in Percy’s case, the slightest bit of praise. Each compliment burns and ripples across Jason’s skin like lightning, pushing him harder to succeed. He’d been worried Percy was going to throw the fight, but sweat drips from Percy’s forehead as he grins wildly. He fights like a storm, which isn’t surprising because Jason always feels like he’s being blown away when he’s near him. 

Percy sidesteps Jason’s blade just slightly too late, giving Jason the perfect opening. He knocks Percy’s sword out of his hand and sweeps a foot under him, following him as he goes down. This is how he finds himself straddling Percy’s stomach, one hand braced on the ground by his head while Jason holds his sword loosely against Percy’s throat, nowhere near close enough to injure. 

“Looks like I didn’t need to worry about you after all,” Percy says, voice low, meant only for Jason. Jason rolls his eyes, not moving his sword until Percy admits defeat.

“Yeah, well you treat worrying about me like it’s your job.” Percy hums thoughtfully. Then, in a move that lights Jason’s heart on fire, Percy cups a hand around the arm caging him in and touches his forehead to it.

“It is my job. I really care about you, you know?” Percy’s voice is soft, a little breathless, and Jason’s face is quickly heating up. He scrambles off of Percy, sheathing his sword. 

“Yeah,” Jason says, because what are you supposed to say to something like that? He offers his hand out for Percy, who takes it and lets Jason yank him off the ground. They’re close again for just a moment, and Percy doesn’t let go. They stand there, making what is entirely too much eye contact for Jason’s stomach, but he doesn’t dare look away. Percy’s eyes dart down, to what Jason would say was his mouth if he didn’t know better, and then the older boy is pulling away. He turns his back to Jason to stretch, Riptide already safely back in his pocket. Jason doesn’t miss the redness at the tips of Percy’s ears.

“Let’s go get cleaned up,” Percy says, and the moment is over.

That was last week, and at this point Jason is sure something has to give. He’s been sleeping on Percy’s couch for three and a half weeks now, nevermind the fact that it turns into a bed. They’ve settled into a lazy routine now that Percy isn’t constantly hovering around him, buzzing with concern that he’s going to collapse at any second. 

Apparently Percy had taken some time off of his schoolwork, something that not a single person had been willing to argue with him on. Now, unfortunately, he’s back at it, which leaves Jason sitting on the couch flipping through a book while Percy sits at the kitchen table only a few feet away, doing his best attempt at studying.

This would not be a problem for Jason, except that Percy has a horrible habit of walking around his apartment without a shirt on, and it’s really hard to focus on a book when Percy’s back muscles are right there. 

At the moment, Percy is actually sitting on the far side of the table, which means Jason has a perfect view of every confused brow pinch and nose wrinkle. 

Percy sighs and shuts his textbook. Jason quickly buries his nose in his book, trying to pretend that this book on incorporation of ancient Roman architecture into modern cities is the most interesting thing he’s ever seen in his life. 

“Man, this fucking sucks,” Percy says. After about two lengthy sentences of this book, Jason agrees. “Do you wanna go for a walk?”

Which is how they end up walking the streets of New Rome, hands brushing just often enough to make Jason wonder if it’s on purpose. They’re quiet as they walk, except for a few other students that Percy greets as they pass. 

Percy stops in front of a bakery, which happens to be Jason’s favorite, but he doesn’t exactly have any money, so he just stands quietly as Percy examines the sweets and pastries in the window display. Percy squints, clearly looking for something in the back of the display case. He must find it, because he’s pulling Jason into the bakery after him. 

The bakery smells like fresh baked brownies, and oh man, does that sound good right now. He leans down to examine the brownies in their case, and he wishes so badly he had money. Percy squeezes his hand, which alerts Jason to the fact that they’re standing in the middle of a relatively crowded bakery, holding hands . Jason’s heart skips a beat.

“Which kind do you want?” Percy asks, examining the brownies with him now, hand still firmly in Jason’s. 

“Uh, I don’t have any money,” Jason says. 

“Not what I asked.” Percy bumps his shoulder into Jason. “It’s my treat. Just pick which one you want.”

“Huh,” Jason answers, because he is very smart and never gets flustered when pretty boys offer to buy him things. Percy just smiles and squeezes his hand again, turning his attention to one of the women behind the counter as he orders. Jason numbly points to one of the brownies in the case, barely able to pay attention by this point. He’s dimly aware of Percy accepting the goods and handing money to the cashier, more focused on the fact that they were still holding hands. 

Jason comes back to his senses once they’re sat on a bench under a large tree. It’s quieter in this part of the city, less crowded, and Percy has only just let go of his hand to dig through the paper bag.

“Gotta admit, this looks good,” Percy says as he hands Jason his cellophane-wrapped brownie. Not as good as you, Jason thinks, and then very quickly unthinks. Those are very much not the kinds of things you say to your platonic bro, and certainly not if said bro literally has a girlfriend.

Jason unwraps his brownie halfway, taking small bites out of it to make it last longer. He lets the hand he’s not holding the brownie with rest on the bench between him and Percy, secretly hoping Percy will take it up again. Much to his surprise, Percy does indeed tangle their fingers together. Jason dares a glance over at him, only to find him eating some horribly blue monstrosity. 

“What on earth is that?” Jason asks. Percy grins, looking back at him. There’s a smudge of chocolate on his bottom lip and Jason wants desperately to wipe it off. 

“Cookie Monster cookie. They’re awesome,” Percy says, finishing it in a few more bites. 

Jason’s crumpling up the empty cellophane by the time something occurs to him.

“Hey, how come Annabeth doesn’t live with you?” Jason asks. She’d come by to visit him in the hospital once after he’d woken up, had swung by the apartment a few times in the past couple weeks to check in on him, but she didn’t live with Percy like he would have expected, and she’d been weirdly platonic to Percy each time. Percy grimaces.

“Ah, well, uh…” Percy rubs the back of his neck. “Well, we were kinda growing apart since we’re majoring in different things, and about a month before everything, she uh, she came out as a lesbian. So we, you know, broke up.” Jason winces.

“Sorry,” Jason says. “I didn’t mean to bring up a sore subject.” Percy lets out a light laugh.

“Nah, don’t get the wrong idea. We’re totally cool now. Like, yeah, that’s not great to hear from your girlfriend of several years, but I’ve moved on. I’m always gonna love her, obviously, but I’m doing alright.” Percy smiles at him, genuine and bright, and Jason suddenly aches to know what it’s like to be loved by Percy.

Jason’s crisis has turned into a full-blown problem. He’s pretty sure he’s in love with Percy. It’s been just about a month since Jason started sleeping on Percy’s couch, and he’s been waiting for his cue from Percy to pack up all of his stuff (which admittedly isn’t much, just a backpack of clothes and toiletries that Nico had brought him) and go back to his boarding school. For some reason, Percy doesn’t seem at all interested in sending Jason away, bringing him different random books from the library, the occasional brownie, and taking him on what are most certainly not long, romantic walks. Jason spends most of his day alone in the apartment, flicking through the most recent book or the Netflix documentary section on Percy’s tv. Every time Jason hears Percy’s key turning in the lock, Jason’s stomach fills with butterflies. Whenever Percy actually steps in the door, fixing Jason with that smile that Jason loves so much, the one that says Percy’s had a long day but it’s better now because he’s home, with Jason, his heart skips a beat knowing Percy considers him to be part of coming home now. If Jason’s being honest with himself, he knows that home for him is anywhere that has Percy.

Which is why he needs to be honest.

He chooses to be brave over dinner that night, while they chat about Percy’s day over take out. There’s a lull in the conversation as Percy finishes his story about the kids he’s currently teaching to swim at work. 

“Percy,” Jason starts, setting his fork down. Percy looks up at him, mouth full of noodles. He gives a small gesture with his fork for Jason to go ahead when he doesn’t say anything. “I need to tell you something… important.” Percy swallows and sets his own fork down, giving Jason his full attention. 

“Yeah, man, anything. You know I’ll always be here for you,” Percy encourages. 

“I’m-” Jason clears his throat and fidgets in his seat before trying again. For once, he’s having a really hard time looking Percy in the face. “I’m… bisexual,” he says, finally, voice barely a whisper. It’s quiet for a while, so Jason fills the air with backtracking and explanations. “And, like, I know I’m different from Annabeth, so if you don’t- I mean, if you’re not cool with that, I can just pack up and go,” he says, placing his hands on the table and pushing his chair back as he stands, fully ready to be met with some kind of rejection. Percy’s hand wraps around Jason’s wrist as he starts to turn away from the table. Jason meets Percy’s gaze then, and instead of disgust, there’s only a soft and slightly hurt expression on his face. 

“Do you really think I care about you so little that something like that would matter?” Percy says. 

“I don’t-”

“I’m serious, Jason,” Percy says, stronger this time. “Nothing could ever change the fact that I-” Percy glances at where he’s holding onto Jason, suddenly letting go and pulling back. “The fact that I care about you. Definitely not something like this,” he finishes. Jason breathes a sigh of relief, sinking back into his chair. The silence that follows is awkward, but doesn’t last long before Percy is clearing his throat and complaining about one of his professors. And just like that, they’re back to normal, and Jason is still at home.

Okay, things are starting to get a little ridiculous. Jason was sure that all the walks that felt a lot like dates and the way Percy leaned against him during movies would change after he came out, since surely Percy wouldn’t want to give Jason the wrong idea, but if anything Percy has amped up what Jason can only refer to as “casual flirting”. 

Like now, for instance. 

Percy has his head in Jason’s lap, playing with Jason’s free hand as he uses the other to carefully turn the pages of the book Percy brought him home yesterday. He’s not really absorbing what he’s reading, too distracted listening to Percy hum some tune Jason doesn’t recognize and is almost sure Percy is just making up as he goes as he traces his finger over the lines in Jason’s palm and brushes over his callouses. 

It’s moments like these that make Jason very glad that he Did Not Die, even if he can’t lean down and kiss Percy like he so desperately wants to. He thinks maybe there’s a chance that he’s been in love with Percy all along, and that he might not be the brightest if it took an extremely near death experience for him to realize it. There’s no way Percy feels the same, but as long as he keeps holding Jason’s hand on walks and sharing large sodas with him and playing with his fingers and singing too loud as he cooks Jason’s favorite meal, Jason is perfectly fine with that. And he’s in luck, because it seems like Percy has no intentions of stopping. 

“You ever had a boyfriend?” Percy asks out of nowhere. It startles Jason out of his thoughts.

“A boyfriend?” Jason repeats. Good, you’re really nailing this totally not awkward conversation with the guy you’re in love with. Nice job, Grace. “Uh, no. I’ve never dated a guy. Just Piper,” he says, and Gods above please do not let Percy ask if Jason currently has a crush. 

Luckily, Percy does not ask if he has a crush. Instead, he nods, humming thoughtfully.

“Yeah, me too. I only ever dated Annabeth.”

“Ah.” Jason isn’t really sure where to go from there, and apparently neither is Percy, who hasn’t stopped fidgeting with Jason’s hand.

“Think I’m ready to try again, though,” Percy says casually, and Jason’s heart falters.

“Oh,” he says, trying not to sound too much like his head is about to explode. “Got anyone in mind?” Percy looks up at him then, pausing his ministrations on Jason’s hand. His eyes dart down after a moment, and Jason is reminded of their first spar after he had healed. Percy’s gaze shifts again before Jason can read too much into it. He goes back to brushing his fingers over Jason’s palm as he shrugs. 

“Yeah. Another smart blonde. Pretty, too,” Percy chuckles. “Guess I’ve got a type, what can I say?” Jason suddenly feels very much like he’s about to throw up. Of course Percy has a crush on another girl if he’s thinking about dating again. What else did he expect his very straight and totally platonic friend to say? Oh, I forgot to tell you I’m also into dudes and also I was wondering if you’d be my boyfriend? Yeah, fat chance. 

Jason pulls his hand away and snaps his book shut, not bothering to mark his place. Percy looks confused as Jason stands up and starts towards the bathroom.

“You okay?” Percy asks. Jason doesn’t even stop.

“Yeah, just have to piss,” he says just before he shuts and locks the bathroom door behind him. 

Jason sinks to the floor, sliding down the length of the door as he fists his hands in his hair. It’s getting longer again, long enough for Percy to tug on just slightly when he’s teasing Jason during one of their not-dates. He tucks his knees up against his chest, and thinks for a moment he’s too lanky to sit like this on the floor. Tears are already welling up in his eyes, the product of a heartbreak that Jason should have seen coming from miles away. He whips his glasses off, tossing them somewhere in front of him as he buries his face into his hands. A sob works its way out of his scarred lungs, and he fights to keep it down. Jason is well aware that these walls are thin, and Percy’s definitely going to get weirded out if he hears Jason so obviously crying over him. 

Fuck, he’s down so bad.

Jason’s completely hopeless breakdown in the bathroom was a week and a half ago, and despite Percy saying outright there was a girl he liked, nothing had really changed at all. Not on Percy’s end, anyway. Jason was now firmly in his “Getting Over Percy” phase, and he’s bitterly reminded every day how extremely difficult it was going to be. 

Percy keeps pitching ideas on how to ask this girl out, each one of them sounding like incredible dates to Jason. Of course, he mostly gives completely neutral opinions about each of them, trying desperately not to shake Percy by the shoulders and loudly announce that he would love to be asked on a date like that. Instead of doing that, he’s been limiting contact with Percy every chance he can without making it too obvious. He can’t keep pretending he gets to have Percy like this forever, not when the end of it all is clearly so close. Better to end it himself than have Percy do it, Jason tells himself. Does it feel better in the moment? No, most certainly not, but Jason is ignoring that fact, thank you very much. 

Here Percy goes right now, as a matter of fact, reaching for Jason’s hand as Jason searches for a new show for them to watch together. As soon as Jason realizes what he’s doing, he pulls his hand away as subtly as he can. Not subtle enough, apparently, because when Jason glances at Percy out of the corner of his eye, he’s looking down at his hand, still where Jason’s was just moments before, frustration evident on his face. 

“Hey man, when did I fuck up?” Percy suddenly asks, gaze still on his empty palm. Jason looks at him head on now, more than a little stunned by the question.

“What?” Jason asks. 

“These past few days it’s been like you can’t stand me all of a sudden,” Percy says slowly, looking up at Jason through long eyelashes. “I don’t-” Percy looks back down at his hand, carefully curling and opening his fingers. “I just don’t know where I screwed this up.”

“It’s not that I can’t stand you. You’re still one of my best friends, Percy,” Jason says, doing what he hopes is a really good job of pretending he’s not panicking. This is not what he wanted to do. Percy is looking at him now, hurt clear in his expression.

“Then what is it? What do I do to get this,” Percy gestures between the two of them, “back?” Jason lets out a breathless laugh as he gets up to pace, running a hand through his hair. “What?” Percy demands. He pushes himself off the couch, but he’s not exactly an intimidating force given that Jason now stands about three inches taller than him, and certainly not when he looks like a kicked puppy. Never mind the fact that Jason knows first hand that Percy would never hurt him. Except, you know, emotionally, but that’s not really Percy’s fault, is it? Jason just laughs again, not believing he’s actually having to spell it out.

“Percy, there is no this, ” Jason says, mimicking the same gesture Percy had just made. “There’s no us.” 

“Sure there is,” Percy argues, ever so strong willed. Jason groans.

“Don’t do this to me,” he begs. 

“Do what? You’re the one pulling away from me.” Percy steps forward, grabbing one of Jason’s hands, and stupidly, Jason lets him. “Come on, Jason,” Percy pleads with him, voice soft as he steps into Jason’s space. “Just tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.” Jason tears his eyes away from their joined hands then. He scoffs, stepping away to where he can’t see every speck of blue and gray in Percy’s eyes and can’t smell the pleasantly salty smell of Percy’s shampoo. Jason pinches the bridge of his nose, doing his best not to think about how much he wants to go back in time and just let Percy hold his hand, just a little longer so that- so that what? Jason falls harder for him and gets his heart broken even worse than he’s about to as soon as he opens his mouth?

“You can’t fix this, Percy,” he says instead, urging his voice to remain steady. 

“At least let me try, Jason! You don’t have to shoulder every single burden by yourself!” Percy’s voice is getting louder, not quite yelling, not yet, but thunder crashes outside. Jason knows this isn’t just about right now. He doesn’t answer Percy, not yet, just looks at him and remembers every precious moment they’ve spent together since Jason woke up in the hospital. 

It’s pathetic, Jason thinks, just how easily he fell for kind words and gentle action. Standing in this suddenly cramped apartment in New Rome, a place that just a week ago felt more like home than anywhere ever had, looking at Percy while Jason pulls his own heart out, about to put all his raw emotion on display as the storm picks up outside, Jason has unfortunately never felt so in love in his life. He isn’t sure anymore who’s causing the storm, because he’s equal parts angry as he is heartbroken, and he can’t decide if he hates or loves the mirroring emotions on Percy’s face, so he spits out the truth before the sparks crackling across his fingertips turn into something he can’t control.

“Because I’m fucking in love with you!” Jason shouts back at him, suddenly so frustrated with all of this. He’s about to lose Percy completely over this, he just knows it, but there’s no other way forward from here. Jason doesn’t need an Oracle or a vision from the Fates to know that. “Is that what you wanted to hear? That I fell in love with you the moment I woke up in that hospital bed? Or do you want the truth, that I’ve been in love with you since we were on the Argo II?” Lightning cracks just outside the window, and Jason is faced with an expression on Percy’s face that he can’t quite name. It’s not quite anger, not quite confusion, but maybe both, so Jason keeps going, digging his own grave for the second time this year as his voice cracks under the strain of being raised so loud after so long. Tears roll down his face with the rain outside. “Do you want me to tell you that I didn’t realize I loved you until I woke up with you looking at me like that and holding my hand, and that sometimes these past few days I’ve wished I didn’t wake up so that I didn’t have to sit here while you plan dates for some girl and play with my feelings? How about that, Percy,” Jason laughs, tossing his hands up. This is all so stupid, and yet Jason can’t stop himself. “You didn’t fuck anything up, because I already ruined it by falling in love with you!” He can’t look anywhere but Percy, drinking in every last detail about him as if it’s the last time he’ll ever see him, because as far as Jason knows, it might be. 

Percy blinks a few times in rapid succession, mouth opening and closing a few times as if he isn’t sure what he wants to say to all that. 

“What girl?” Percy finally says, and out of everything Jason just said, that has got to be the least important part, so of course Percy focused on it. 

“Uh, hello? Your smart, pretty blonde? The one you keep talking about taking on romantic picnics by the lake, and bookshop and coffee dates, and history tours in the mortal city? The one you were gonna ask art lessons from? The one you watched like four ancient Rome documentaries for even though you literally go to New Rome University and they teach that stuff in class there? That one?” Jason’s stopped shouting, mostly because he can’t believe how dense Percy is being. They both look at each other for a moment longer before Percy bursts into laughter. Jason has no idea what’s so funny about anything going on right now, so he just stands with his hands on his hips as he waits for Percy to calm down. 

“Oh, you’re serious?” Percy asks as he takes in the look on Jason’s face. Jason scoffs, shaking his head slightly. This sobers Percy up as if Jason had slapped him. He groans, running a hand through his hair. “Man, and I thought I was being so obvious…”

The only thing obvious to Jason is that Percy is a fucking idiot. Jason just poured his heart out to him, and he’s laughing and being vague about it? This is going somehow both better and worse than Jason had expected and he’s not entirely sure how that’s possible. He doesn’t have much time to ask any clarifying questions, because suddenly Percy is in front of him, way too close for Jason’s fragile heart. And then-

Oh.

Oh.

Jason thinks he might be the idiot, actually.

Because Percy is kissing him, a hard press of their lips together that Percy had to tug Jason’s head down for. 

Percy pulls back only a few seconds later, both of them panting like they’d just fought rather than kissed. 

“It’s you, ” Percy says. “I’m in love with you too, idiot.” Jason’s head is spinning. His lips burn as his heart neatly stitches itself back together. 

“How- when-” Yeah, Jason’s definitely the idiot here. Percy shakes his head.

“When I lost you,” he answers the unfinished question, dropping his voice as the thunderstorm outside calms into a light drizzle. “I was just holding you, and I kept pulling out so much blood and you still weren’t breathing and I-” Percy’s hands settle on Jason’s chest as he swallows hard. “All I could hear was someone screaming your name, and I didn’t even know it was me until I stopped, when you took that breath. And we thought we were in the clear, but you stopped breathing again. I’ve never seen anyone lose that much blood. And I sat there, drawing out more and more of it, hoping I wasn’t just helping you bleed out, and I realized that I can’t lose you.” Percy lifted his face back up to Jason’s, eyes watery but gaze strong. He cupped the back of Jason’s neck, pulling him down until his forehead rested against Percy’s, both of them letting their eyes fall closed. “So don’t leave me again,” Percy murmurs, breath brushing against Jason’s lips.

“Never again,” Jason agrees, tilting his head to kiss Percy again.

The evening is winding down, most of the friend group and then some still sitting around the dinner table and chatting. Jason, on the other hand, is standing on the balcony of the restaurant they’re currently celebrating Percy and Annabeth’s graduation at. Percy is at his side, head resting on Jason’s shoulder, one hand in Jason’s while the other slowly swirls his half empty champagne glass. The sky is clear tonight, enough for them to see Zoë’s constellation. They’re both quiet for a long time, content to listen to the muffled laughter of their friends and family. It’s Percy who speaks first, voice as gentle as the breeze ruffling their hair. 

“Hey, Jason?” Jason hums his acknowledgment, not taking his eyes off the sky even as he feels Percy’s warmth move from his side. “Remember how when we confessed to each other, you said you’d never leave me again?” Jason furrows his eyebrows in confusion. He hears the clink of Percy’s glass on the railing, and he turns to his boyfriend.

“Percy, what-”

He’s cut off by the sight of Percy down on one knee, looking up with that same adoring look that Jason sees everyday but will never tire of. In his hands is a small box, open to reveal a slim band, inlaid with a singular sapphire.

“Well I was thinking about making that a permanent promise,” Percy says nervously. Jason is still holding onto the railing with one hand, although white-knuckling it might be more appropriate a phrase.

“Oh my Gods, Percy-” 

“So, Jason Grace.” Percy smiles that big, beautiful smile up at him. “Will you marry me?” 

As if Jason would ever have to think twice.

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” Jason cries, pulling his left hand off the railing to offer to Percy. Percy, ever the romantic, kisses it first before pulling the ring out and sliding it onto Jason’s finger. It’s a perfect fit. Percy’s up off the floor in a second, tilting his head up as Jason meets him halfway. And if Jason starts crying while he kisses his boyfriend- his fiancé- it doesn’t really matter, because Percy’s crying too, and the kiss is more them laughing breathlessly into each other’s mouths anyway. 

They manage to pull themselves together, parting just enough for Jason to admire the ring on his finger. It’s beautiful, and wonderfully simple, and it couldn’t be more perfect. Percy could have proposed with a twist tie and it would still be perfect. Jason brings their lips together in another soft kiss.

“Guess it’s too late to ask for my heart back?” Jason teases. Percy hums, threading his hand into Jason’s.

“I wouldn’t give it back anyway,” Percy says. “Would you give mine back?” Jason grins at him.

“Never in your wildest dreams, Jackson.” Percy laughs, leaning up to kiss him again. Jason is sure he could stand here, under the warm night sky, kissing Percy forever, but Percy pulls back eventually, that wild smile that Jason fell in love with plastered on his face. He thinks he falls in love all over again.

“I love you,” Jason says, even though those three little words never seem like enough to describe the utter and total hold Percy has on his heart and soul. 

“I love you, ” Percy answers. Jason starts to try and kiss him again, but Percy pulls him back towards the table full of everyone they’ve ever cared about, holding their joined hands high, twisting them so the lamplight glints off of Jason’s ring.

“You guys! He said yes!”