Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leslie’s office has wallpaper that is peeling at the corners. It’s not very noticable. Jason supposes most of the doctor’s patients don’t notice this.

“I really don’t have an intimacy problem anymore, Doc.” Jason strains against the urge to huff. The only person he entertains as much as Leslie is Alfred. What can he say, he’s weak to their perpetually grandparenty natures.

Leslie lets out a soft sigh, setting her pen and pad on the table between them. “Jason, you know I’m not afraid to say that your family has real communication problems . Plus a lot of trauma to sort through and you know how I feel about the dangers you all face everyday. Maybe it’s not an intimacy problem, but you could stand to make connections outside of the immediate family.”

Jason raises an eyebrow, leaning forward in his chair in mild amusement. “You know I know other people right? The Outlaws? The Titans? The Justice League?”

Leslie gives him a soft smile, leaving Jason feeling like he said exactly what she expected him to. “But do you know anyone that you don’t think of professionally? Most people your age would say something like classmates or members of a club.”

“I don’t exactly think it’s fair to compare me to other people my age, given the whole dying then resurrection thing.” Jason frowns, crossing his arms and uncrossing them again when Leslie just looked amused by his actions.

“I know, Jason. It wasn’t fair that you were robbed of so much of your teenage years. That is exactly why I want you to consider what I’m saying. You don’t have to meet brand new people, but you could build stronger relationships with people outside of your family. Let yourself have a life outside of vigilantism and the manor. You deserve to discover yourself a bit more after all these years.” Leslie’s gaze went to her hands clasped in her lap as she talked, her smile turning into a frown.

“It isn’t as damaging as you would think, Doc.” Jason waves a hand in vague dismissal, “I still grew up. I live on my own and buy my own groceries. I appreciate your concern, Doc, but I take care of myself just fine.”

The faint smile makes its way back onto Leslie’s face, “At our next monthly checkup I’d like for those stitches to be done healing, do not go tearing them open.”

Jason nods, standing and shrugging on his jacket, “I’ll make the supply rounds tonight. Stay safe, Leslie.”

Leslie holds her hand out for Jason to shake, patting his wrist as he takes it, “and bring someone else with you, or I will be very annoyed.”

-

Bernard shakes his head, giving Tim a comforting rub on the back as they listen to his boyfriend’s brother rant about his therapist appointment.

Stephanie hands Jason a slice of pizza from the box, hoping to silence him for at least a minute.

“She’s not too wrong, Jason.” Bernard says. “You enrolled in college and never showed up. Of course the Red Hood is important to you, but it wouldn’t hurt for you to.. y’know… have a real life where you get drunk as shit and go on blind dates.” Bernard gestures between himself, Tim and Stephanie as he talks, emphasising that it’s what they do, even when two thirds of them have a secret vigilante life.

“Please do not bring his dating life into this. It’s messy enough.” Stephanie groanes, unbothered by Jason’s offended look.

“My dating life is completely normal, thank you! And I can get drunk on my own. I don’t need somebody counting my shots.”

“Jay, the fact that you’re saying that just shows you need to get out more,” Tim sighs, picking up a cup.

“Or like, at least invite people over,” Stephanie adds, taking a bite of pizza.

“Who’s inviting who over?” Dick questions, getting comfortable against Jason’s legs, earning an over-exaggerated eye roll.

“We’re talking about the lack of people being invited over to Jason’s place.” Tim supplies.

“Speaking of, Jason, when are we going to-“

“Not happening.” Jason lightly kicks Dick in the back, irritation filling his tone.

“Okay, okay, Little Wing. Just a suggestion.” Dick holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“Yeah, a bad one.”

“It was so normal!”

“Quiet the volume, you two,” Barbara smiles, sitting on the floor beside Dick.

“Why do you not invite Kent’s elder brother to your apartment, Todd? You are both in desperate need of companionship.” Damian interjects from his place on the windowsill.

“You could not have worded that stranger, Dami,”

Duke snorts. “They both need friends, not a pet.”

“Animals make happiness,” Cass nods, leaning over the back of the couch and pointing at Jason. Then she settles her glare onto Damian. “Little brother has friends,” she says firmly. Damian shrugs, turning back to the laptop balancing on his lap.

“Cass is better than all of you.” Jason high fives his sister when she offers her hand.

Alfred and Bruce both walk in once the chatter calms down, sitting in the two remaining arm chairs. Damian closes his laptop and makes his way over to the sofa, squeezing between Bernard and Tim with an eyebrow raised. Stephanie hands the remote to Barbara while Duke connects the dvd player and television. Cass claps in appreciation when the television screen flashes on and Jason leans his head on his hand, ignoring Dick as the eldest rests his head back on the younger’s knees. Barbara chooses a horror movie per Stephanie’s request. Tim tosses Duke a throw cushion to hug as they all settle into the movie.

As the movie ends Alfred rises to his feet, offering a hand to collect the plates. Stephanie and Jason make for the glasses as the trio populate the kitchen sink with dirty dishes.

“Thank you, I will finish tidying up. You two should go ahead and get ready for patrols and I will see you in the cave.” Alfred shooes them both out of the kitchen with a smile.

“Here’s hoping for a quiet night.” Stephanie stretches, waving at Jason as he opens the front door.

“Yeah, definitely,” Jason agrees, knowing that there was never a quiet night in Crime Alley. Anger and desperation is what keeps the people in the alley alive. Trauma didn’t make Jason kind, he consciously made himself kind because he didn’t want anyone to suffer like he did. Jason Todd may never be a good person, may always be doomed to failure and violence as long as he lives, but he knows what it’s like. His empathy is all he has. Jason knows what the rest of the family seems to believe, that trauma and bad experiences make them stronger, the “what doesn’t kill you” bullshit. But trauma doesn’t make you strong, and what doesn’t kill you leaves you whimpering like an injured dog. Survivors make themselves strong. Their trauma made them nothing but confused and harmed and the abusers should never get the credit for the survivors being good people. They did that all on their own. Maybe the people of Crime Alley are not traditionally good, but they try the hardest out of everyone Jason knows. They deserve the quiet night Jason hopes for more than he ever would.

The walk to his apartment is only half an hour away from the manor. As always he spends his entire time checking over his shoulder, making sure no one followed him.

He wonders if he will ever outgrow the unease, or if it will always follow him like an abandoned dog.

-

The Outlaws have been on break for the past 5 months with no signs of getting back to work in the imminent future.

Therefore, Jason feels perfectly correct for assuming that something bad must have happened for Arsenal to be waiting on the roof of his apartment block, cleaning arrows and humming quietly.

“Is there an emergency?” This seems to shock Arsenal as he pockets the cloth and stands up to greet Jason.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Arsenal shrugs, opening his arms and inching closer with a shit-eating grin on his face. Jason rolls his eyes and opens his arms, Roy happily enveloped his best friend in his arms and made a failed attempt to lift him up. Jason laughs as Roy makes a choking sound at his lack of strength.

“So what are you here for, Arse?”

“What? A guy can’t visit for funsies?”

“You never have before?”

Jason notices Arsenal looking mildly bashful as the ginger fixes his cap. “I missed you, man. You’ve never exactly given me radio silence before.”

Jason shrugs, motioning to the door to their right. “Pasta?”

Arsenal laughs as he holds the door open for Jason. “Do I get to make smoothies?”

Jason shakes his head as they walk down the dimly lit hall, pulling out his keys and unlocking the door, half tempted to slam it behind him. “I only have strawberries and oranges though.”

“That’s all I need,” Arsenal grins, dramatically doing the muscle man pose that always makes Jason cringe when he starts making kissy noises at his own biceps.

“I’m not above chucking you out, Arsenal,” Jason points out, sitting his keys on the counter and removing his helmet.

“There’s the face that I’ve missed so much,” Arsenal grins, patting Jason’s cheek as he hangs up his equipment and takes off his hat and glasses. “Turn off for like five minutes, please. It’s Roy now.” Roy winks, making Jason regret letting him in at all.

“Keep talking and you’ll just be getting plain pasta,” Jason threatens, shrugging off his jacket and making his way to the kitchen.

“I’m sure you’d still make it delicious,” Roy waves away the threat, following Jason into the kitchen and beginning to set the pots out while Jason opens the fridge.

“Oh, you flatter me, you hunk,” Jason swoons, fanning his face and feeling extremely satisfied when Roy gives a surprised laugh. He grabs his ‘kiss the chef’ apron Dick gave him months ago.

“Anything for you, honey.” Roy bats his eyelashes and pouts.

“Heathen,” Jason chuckles.

Roy taps his shoulder and points to the door. “You go get cleaned up, you were on patrol tonight, Jay.”

Jason hesitantly hands over the wooden spoon with a raised eyebrow. “If you’re saying I smell, I’m going to commit a crime.”

Roy shakes his head and gives Jason a push. “I’m saying relax for two minutes because I’m a big boy and capable of stirring a pot.”

“Oh believe me I’m aware.”

“You were never the victim of it, pretty boy.”

Jason pinches the bridge of his nose and exits the room, un-attaching his utility belt and taking off his chest plate as he walks into the bedroom, shutting it behind him. As he goes around his room, getting changed into sweatpants and a shirt and washing his face, he is shocked to recognise the ease he felt with Roy in his space. The out of tune disco that his friend is singing made for weirdly calming background noise. Not that Jason would ever tell him that.

Jason opens the door to the bedroom and turns the light on. He stands in the door frame for a moment, looking from his bedroom to the open kitchen door. He chews on his lip and feels slightly guilty as he face-plants onto the bed, his legs half hanging off and the pillow shoved under his head. He closes his eyes and lets out a breath, nuzzling the pillow and humming along to Roy’s singing, fighting sleep.

As Jason listens to Roy teetering around the kitchen, just being alive and busy, he feels an odd twinge in his heart. Roy deserves so much, he has been through so much hurt and betrayal and he is still so gentle. He is still able to sit his strength down on the table to let it rest and sit back and talk and be vulnerable and love so enormously. Roy could be disappointed and broken to pieces, but still give his all as he puts himself back together again.

Jason wishes he could be that for Roy, but Jason is a cornered animal. He doesn’t always understand why he bites and doesn’t let go. He is terrified of people leaving, so he finds it difficult. If he drives what he loves away, at least then he knows why he is left so alone. Because he pushed them away, because it was his choice, rather than something he can control, rather than not being enough. Jason is controlled by a muzzle of insecurity that he cannot shake.

At some point in his spiralling Jason must’ve dozed off, because he wakes to Roy giving his shoulder a terribly gentle shake. Roy’s voice is gentle and he knows he is safe. “C’mon Jay, you gotta try the pasta. I need my personal Gordon Ramsay.”

Jason makes a soft noise and lifts his face away from the pillow to look up at Roy’s face and the two bowls he was balancing in between his legs and sighed. Roy smiles and taps the spot beside him at the top of the bed. He begins giggling at Jason’s face as he shuffles sluggishly up the bed and leans against the pillows beside Roy. Jason lifts his hands as a silent request. Roy nods and passes him the bowl, watching him out of the corner of his eye as they both blow on their forks full of pasta.

Jason takes a bite and tilts his head. He turns to Roy and gives him a thumbs up, ignoring Roy’s smug-ass satisfied grin. “Thanks, Roy.”

“Not a problem, Jay.”

They eat in a comfortable silence. Jason elbows Roy for something to do and they both end up landing a fork of pasta on the bed. Roy has the decency to look sheepish and pick the food up, but Jason started it and couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Hand it over.” Jason gestures to the bowl once Roy’s is finally empty. The archer shakes his head and hands over the bowl. He follows the other vigilante to the kitchen and turns off the tap when Jason tries to fill the basin of dishes.

“What age are you?” Jason asks incredulously, throwing down the sponge and putting his hands on his hips.

“As much as I love doing chores with you,” Roy gestures to the sink, “I wanna catch up! Why don’t we play some games or watch something?”

“This will take literally ten minutes,” Jason huffs, turning the tap back on and side eyeing Roy, daring him to try his shit again.

Roy groans, throwing his arms up. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll dry and put it away then.”

“Didn’t ask you to do that.”

“Enjoy the free labour while you have it.”

Jason just rolls his eyes in response, turning off the tap and picking up the first plate.

“So what are you really doing here?” Jason questions as he passes it onto Roy.

“Why do I have to have some secret motive?” Roy frowns, hitting Jason with the damp tea towel to grab his attention properly.

“The last time you did this was because you needed to get away and you knew I wouldn’t tell anyone. You’ve gotta be here for some reason so stop beating around it, Arse.” Jason turns to face Roy, one soapy hand on the counter and the other gesturing between them.

Roy sighs, crossing his arms and leaning back against the counter. “Cass let me know that Thompkins said something, ‘said it put you a little on edge. So I thought, ‘hey, let’s go see one of our best buds and see how he’s doin’.’”

“Well, you’ve checked, feel free to get out now.” Jason snatches the tea towel from Roy’s hands.

“Woah, I’m not going just yet.” Roy puts his hands up in mock surrender, then moves quickly to grab his towel back, starting a stubborn game of tug of war.

“Would love it if I could have this,” Jason growles, trying to snatch it back with two hands, making the towel more sudsy. “Would also love it if you would take your pity and snarkiness and get out of my apartment.”

“Who said it was pity?”

“I’m not in the mood for your shit, Roy.”

Roy frowns, relinquishing the towel and budging Jason out of the way with an elbow. He takes the sponge and resumes the vigilante’s previous job. “I know I’m not your first choice person wise, but I’m not leaving you to wallow and be moody.”

“You’d be leaving me in peace,” Jason snaps, glaring at the archer.

“You don’t like quiet anyways.” Roy waves his hand, using the other to put plates in the drying rack.

“You might just frustrate me to tears,” Jason groans, patience wearing thin.

“It’s a speciality.”

Jason walks out of the room, walking into his bedroom and rummaging around the dresser, throwing a pair of joggers onto the bed. Roy follows him shortly after, giving a flirtatious whistle.

“Trying to get me outta my clothes, Jay?”

“Stop talking.” Jason replies, lying down on the opposite end of the bed face down.

Roy simply hums in response and continues getting changed, surprising Jason with the simple fact that he listened. He knows a few people that need to be more like that.

“Hey, Roy?”

“What happened to stop talking?”

“What happened to the smoothie I was promised?”

“Touché. Carry on.”

“You can’t judge until I’m finished.”

“Whatever you say, sweetie.”

Jason rolls his eyes, rolling onto his back and folding his arms behind his head, aware of Roy’s curious stare as he makes himself more comfortable. “So, like, Leslie won’t stop talking about my issues making ‘lasting connections’ and ‘attachment issues’,” Jason motions air quotes and elbows Roy when he sees the amused look on his face. “Which then set the whole family needing to give their two cents about my social and dating life. Leslie told me to bring someone to my next checkup to show that I’m like, branching out or whatever? If you’re around in a few weeks would you come with me? Just to get them off my back?”

Roy grins and grabs Jason’s arms, excitedly tugging him to be face to face. “Does that mean I can stay for a few weeks?”

Jason raises an eyebrow, “..if you want?”

Roy gives him a satisfied grin and shuffles closer to the vigilante. “I might have an idea.” He starts in a sing-song voice.

“Oh, fantastic,” Jason replies sarcastically, looking sceptical at the archer.

“Do you think we can convince them that we’re together? Maybe even engaged! I’m sure Doctor Thompkins would love to be the officiator!”

At the suggestion Jason feels an immediate vile response on the tip of his tongue. Because what Jason will never admit to anyone who has ever known him is how desperately he wants to be openly loved without shame. That he wants someone who would grab him when they were excited and kiss his palms and smile at him and want him. He wants so viciously to be wanted and he doesn’t know how much longer empty praise from people he had protected or long poetry or old novels full of understanding will be a good enough stand-in for being wanted.

And it was Roy suggesting it. That very fact makes something inside him seethe, something inside him turns into a feral animal from shame. It claws at his rib cage in search of an outlet.

Because Jason finds the archer attractive. Hell, he even likes Roy as a person. Jason does not go beyond basic friendship with people like Roy, and especially not dating or pretending to.

Because a little bit of Jason has always been in love with Roy.

“Wine and dine me before proposing marriage, you scoundrel,” Jason admonishes, patting Roy’s cheek just for the look of astonishment on his face and turns around burying his face in his pillow as he closes his eyes. “If you’ll get a kick out of it, sure. But that means you have to deal with Dick’s confusion.”

“Not a problem.” Roy pats the vigilante’s back and turns to the opposite side himself, shuffling under the covers, unable to wipe the smile from his face. “Goodnight, Jay.”

“Who said I was letting you sleep in my bed?!”

“We’re engaged now, honey. It’s only appropriate.”
“If you try and steal the blankets like last time it’ll be a divorce.”

Roy hums in response.

-

The following night on patrol Jason begrudgingly allows Roy to accompany him for the night.

The night started off as it always did, the comms were full of chatter for the first half an hour or so. The vigilante supposes you could say they’d been productive. They’d done their rounds with Leslie, who raised an eyebrow and gave Roy a big smile. Irritatingly the latter winked at the doctor in response. Roy followed along silently as Jason went on his usual intel route, getting another lead on a case. Lately, however, his intel is only half right. Whether it’s accidental or not, he isn’t sure.

“Any of the Johns getting too bold?” Jason questions the small group of working girls. The nights have been slow the past month, Jason knows. He’d honestly rather their quiet disappointment than the period of time where Lacey was killed and the other girls were black and blue and full of tears.

“I think your protection has kept most of them under control, actually,” Jessie replies, tapping off her cigarette, looking at Gemma and Farrah for confirmation.

“If we didn’t love you so much, Hoodie, we’d curse ya’ for the lack of business,” Farrah nods, giving the Red Hood a gentle punch on the shoulder.

“Whose this lad hovering around ya’, Red?” Gemma points a finger past Jason to where Roy is loitering rather awkwardly.

“Arsenal, he’s a friend. We’ve worked together a lot.” Jason explains as Roy inched closer, doing over dramatic poses that had Jessie and Farrah laughing and Gemma rolling her eyes.

Jason shakes his head, turning back to the girls, he hands over a small slip of paper from his pocket. “The new burner. Stay safe. I’ll be ‘round again soon, alright?”

Gemma gives a mock salute and Farrah ruffles her friend’s hair, earning a string of swears in her direction.

“Your concern is sexy as always, Hoodie,” Jessie smiles, pocketing the paper in her leather jacket. “Keep yourself safe.”

Jason nods, grappling up the building adjacent, Roy following him wordlessly. Jason turns around to face the archer. “Awfully quiet tonight, Arsenal.”

Roy shrugs, smiling. “It’s just nice to see you so at ease with what you’re doing. I’m trying not to cramp your style too much.”

Jason nods, pressing his hand to his helmet as he tunes in to what information Oracle is giving, finally giving in and turning off the comms. None of the information exchanged is ever relevant to him.
“What’s next on the agenda?” Roy questions, standing beside the vigilante.

“I need you to hang around where the girls are. I’m going to intervene in some drug runs. Black Mask has gotten his hands on more kids. I’ll send them your way. Keep them safe, alright?”

Roy nods, turning around and hesitating. “You won’t need backup?”

“There’s nothing left for Mask to do that would surprise me. Thanks for your concern though, honey,” Jason replies, amping up the sarcasm for the pet name.

Roy narrows his eyes, giving Jason a once-over. “You know they’ll be expecting you?”

“Well, when has anything ever been easy and simple?” Jason shrugs, grappling away, swinging from roof to roof, keeping an eye out for the dealer he had a description of.

Being a drug runner in Crime Alley before even getting to double digits is depressingly common, just like the girls being expected to become prostitutes after a certain age. Jason had seen a few boys he recognised from the alley making their way into scraping by in Gotham City, but so many of the girls that Jason knew were killed on the job. He doesn’t know where the girls he knows now get their bravery from. How much violence they must have suffered through to choose to be as gentle as they are. The power of the gender imbalance of the alley follows Jason like a ghost, like a companion for Catherine Todd. His mum being unable to escape her abusive husband, being held captive by addiction and still trying so hard to care for Jason when she could. Willis could do whatever the fuck he liked and no one would judge him, but he knew people in the alley judged his mother for not being good enough, but she goddamn fucking tried and still had to shoulder that blame.

The alleys are too quiet tonight; a dead giveaway that he’s probably going to have to stumble into a trap. Great. Fantastic. Always a treat.

Jason drops to the street, looking left and right, hearing the telltale sign of someone slipping on wet concrete as he whistles and begins walking forward. As Jason gets closer the sound ceases and he lets out a sigh. “Kid? It’s Hood, you ain’t in trouble.”
A small face peeks around the corner, his hair sticking up and his face wet from the rain. The kid shakes his head, looking between Jason and around the corner, tears forming in his eyes. Jason motions towards himself, “smokers corner, kid. Now.”

The kid looks at him with wide eyes. Jason fixes the kid with a hard look that knocks the kid into gear. Jason turns around the corner, tense and ready for a fight. The alley is empty, the only thing noticeable is the rats fighting over scraps a little to his left. Jason hears the footsteps behind him belatedly and swings round, ducking out of the way as a pipe is swung at his helmet. Jason brings his fist up to punch the stomach of the bastard, but is tugged backwards by the back of his jacket and slammed into a stack of wooden crates. He throws an arm back, feeling satisfied when his fist connects with a knee and a loud swear is yelled behind him.

The fuckers haven’t even bothered to wear any sort of mask. Jason brings his knees up to his chest and kicks when long-face comes at him, the metal pipe hitting off of a brick wall and rolling away. Jason stands, throwing his jacket off onto the pile of crates, uniform be damned. He is not getting thrown around like a ragdoll. Jason walks toward the man he punched, who is still sputtering, and gives him a kick. “Get the fuck up.”

“Black Mask said to give you his regards,” the man grins. Jason rolls his eyes, shoots his other knee for good measure and turns away. The moment he turns he realises his mistake as he feels a sharpness pierce through the skin of his shoulder. Jason swears and turns around. The thug had pulled a gun out, seeming far too smug for a guy that had pissed off the Red Hood.

“Tell him to stop using errand boys. It’s fucking embarrassing,” Jason snarls, giving in to the urge and punching the man square in the face. Jason flexes his hand, aggravated by the pain in his shoulder, the bullet still buried in his flesh. “And stop using kids as cover, it’s pathetic.”

“Not as pathetic as being cornered at a dead end, Red Hood.” Two more men walk around the corner, much bigger and smugger than the two lying on the pavement.

Jason turns in a circle, bringing a hand to his helmet, “oh no! I never noticed that at all. I am positively bamboozled.”

Neither man seems impressed by this. The larger and quieter of them swings the crowbar he had behind his back, because there is just never a shortage of crowbars in Gotham. Forget gun control when these metal fucks are everywhere. Jason brings his good arm up to block the impact as the man aims for his head. He swears when he sees the other thug taking the gun from his holster and beginning to aim with both hands. Jason drops to the ground as the first gunshot goes off. Picking up the metal pipe, he swings with his good arm with as much force as he can, the crack of a kneecap shattering gives him a rush of confidence as he wrestles for the crowbar, frustration clouding his judgement as the man gives it a swing. Jason, still holding on, tumbles to the side. The man is on top of him in a second, hands around his throat. The second thug has a needle and Jason sees green as he grows immediately more desperate. He grabs around the floor and quickly smashes a bottle against the head of the man strangling him.

The man with the needle seems temporarily daunted and Jason takes the opportunity to throw what is left of the bottle, the butt of it hitting the man in the nose.

Jason is pulling his other gun out of his utility belt when the remaining thug stills at the sound of a whistle. Jason hits the thug closest to him with the butt of his gun and turns around to see the other lying face down on the floor, groaning in pain, with an arrow sticking out of his left side.

“You were meant to stay with them!” Jason yells, seething as he feels worry make its way through his chest. “I can’t fucking believe you left them alone!”

Roy silently makes his way down to the pavement, Jason’s angry face trained on him. “Spoiler has the corner covered and Red Robin’s following a lead on the operation these pricks have going.”

Jason’s expression remains unchanged to Roy’s surprise. “You were meant to stay because I knew I could trust them with you!” Jason snarls, the modulator in his helmet makes a crackle at the volume.

“I wouldn’t leave them defenceless, Hood!” Roy snaps back, “and you clearly need my help more than they do.” Roy gestures to the men lying on the ground, retrieving his arrows from the bodies.

“I had it fucking handled,” Jason yells, barging past Roy and unholstering his grappling gun.

Roy grabs his arm, cringing when Jason winced. “You can’t go grappling around the city with a knife sticking out of your shoulder. Sit down for just a second.”

“Shockingly, I don’t need your help with that either.”

“There’s a reason we work in teams, Hood. Now stop your complaining and let me help you.” Roy holds out his used arrows for Jason to hold, the latter snatches them off of the archer and sits on the edge on one of the broken crates.

“These laced?” Jason questions, holding up the arrow by the feathered end.

“Of course,” Roy laughs, mainly at the subject change.

“Little-Wing!” Dick’s voice travels through the alley as he skids round the corner, a panicked energy to his movements as he stops in front of Roy.

“I’ve never met a more dramatic group of people,” Jason groans, letting his face fall into his hands.

“You were shot!” Dick shouts, pointing at the blood seeping through his uniform.

“I’m handling it,” Roy replies, pressing a cloth on the wound and cringing. “Okay, I’m only able to semi handle it. It never exited.”

Dick is behind Jason in an instant, looking where Roy is pointing. “Let’s bring you back to the cave.”

“Okay, first of all, is no one else seeing the criminals lying around right now? Second of all, nope.” Jason makes sure to pop the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

“Hood, I love you, I do. But I am not repeating Sydney if I don’t have to.” Roy pats his good shoulder.

“What happened in Sydney?” Dick questions.

“This.” Jason gestures to his back. “Arsenal had to use tweezers to get out the bullet and had to whine about it the entire time.”

“You bleed like a fountain, sweetheart. It was gross.”

Jason and Dick both do a double take at Roy as the latter looks at them blankly.

“We’re unpacking that later.” Dick motions between the other two. “For now, let’s head to the Batmobile. Can you stand?”

“It was my arm not my fucking leg and I’m not going,” Jason grunts, standing up.

“How are the stitches?” Dick questions with a sigh, putting a hand on his hip.

Roy raises an eyebrow at Jason, who shakes his head. “I’ll go to Leslie’s, okay? You can finish my patrol and I’ll finish early. Happy?”

“Okay,” Dick concedes and turns to pat Roy on the arm, “Take care of him.”

Roy nods and rolls his eyes, turning back to Jason, “Only your family would be happy over what is essentially more work hours.”

-

After some fanfare they make it to Leslie’s clinic, Jason walks in and Roy follows behind him sheepishly, feeling out of place and like a bit of a dick for getting blood on the floor. Granted it isn’t his blood, but he feels someone needs to have sympathy for the poor woman.

Jason is currently sitting on one of the beds, his helmet off as well as his shirt as Leslie inspects the damage whilst she walks around the room grabbing whatever she seems to feel she’d need. The vigilant has his arms crossed and is hunching away from the archer and Roy feels a twinge of sadness at the sight. Jason Todd is not vain, but he is prideful. Anything that isn’t showing a sign of strength is a sign of weakness he can’t afford. That’s why Roy can’t get his head around the contradiction of his embarrassment of his resurrection. Confusion is something Roy could understand about Jason’s situation. But Jason is shy to show any physical evidence of his phenomenon, views it as a weakness rather than a strength. At least that’s what Roy thinks.

When Roy looks at Jason the first thing he sees isn’t all he’s been through. It’s that he scrunches his nose when he’s irritated or his lopsided smirk when he’s amused. After that it’s Jason. It’s his book habits and his refusal of letting Roy or Bizarro carry the groceries. It’s the way he grabs one of them when he’s laughing and the fact that he still has every stuffed animal Barbara gave him when he was younger stuffed behind his door in a black bag. Stuffed animals he has only ever given up for two little kids in Crime Alley that he had gotten too attached to.

Roy is broken out of whatever thought process he’s worked himself into by Leslie’s voice. “So, Jason, I’m pleasantly surprised you actually listened to me?”

Jason motions his hand back and forth. “Roy Harper, Leslie Thompkins. Leslie Thompkins, Roy Harper.”

Roy walks towards Leslie, unsure of himself as he holds out his hand to shake. He never thought he’d feel like he was meeting Jason’s grandma, but here he is, basically.

“Lovely to properly meet you.” Leslie smiles, shaking his hand before turning back to Jason.

“You too. I’m, uh, Jason’s boyfriend.”

Leslie and Jason both whip their heads around with matching looks of shock. Jason recovers quickly and smiles smugly. “I told you, Doc. I’ve got friends outside of the family. and a boyfriend.”

Leslie takes a moment to look between the two boys and laughs, turning back to Jason’s shoulder as she prepares to remove the bullet and all of the gross stuff after it. “Not to offend you, Jason, but I’m surprised.” Leslie takes a moment to think before speaking again. “And oddly proud.”

Jason raises an eyebrow but remains completely still as Leslie sets to work. An unusual silence settles heavily in the room. Jason is looking at Roy with an expression he can’t quite figure out the meaning of.

After another couple of minutes of Leslie patching Jason up, she taps the young vigilante on the shoulder with a smile. “All done.”

Jason nods mutely, grabbing his shirt from beside him and throwing it over his head. Roy secretly mourns the loss of the view as Jason stands and dusts off his pants.

Leslie rests her face on her hand, raising an eyebrow at Jason. “How come you never mentioned this boyfriend before?” she points with a swirling motion in a manner Roy would only call teasingly.

Roy is surprised by the way Jason immediately tenses, his eyebrows furrowing as he chews the inside of his cheek. “I never told you I was gay.” Jason shrugs.

“Oh, Jason, Roy being a boy hardly matters. All you need for any relationship is for someone to love you and for you to love them back. A romantic one is no different, Jason Todd. All I could hope for is for you to let someone love you and have them be worthy of that.” Leslie pats Jason on the cheek and opens her arms, Jason gives her a tentative hug.

Roy feels torn between intruding and crying at the sweetness of the moment. Roy knows Leslie is the only doctor Jason trusts. She helps the people Jason cares about and protects, and she’s seen every scar the vigilante has ever had. Leslie had been the one to do Jason’s autopsy, and Roy knows it means a lot to Jason that out of everyone before he died, Leslie Thompkins stayed the same. Roy doesn’t know if Leslie ever had kids or grandkids, but seeing her with Jason fills him with appreciation, because Jason deserves someone like her that he can call family.

Leslie stands back from Jason and gives him a pat on the arm. “You’re lucky those stitches are still in place.”

“Noted.” Jason smiles, grabs his helmet from the table and walks out the door, a light blush on his cheeks made visible under the harsh lighting. Roy figures the embarrassment is finally hitting his friend.

“You two are very cute,” Leslie comments as Roy waves on his way out.

“I like to think so too,” Roy says, shutting the door behind him.

-

Jason is in a pretty good mood as the pair swing across the city. The sky is turning a greyish blue that tells them sunrise isn’t too far off. Despite seeming quite content, the vigilante hasn’t said a word. Roy thinks that’s rare for Jason, but maybe the unexpected kindness from Leslie is keeping him speechless for the time being.

As they enter Jason’s apartment, assuredly unseen, Roy decides to break the silence.

“I’m sorry. I assumed everyone knew about the gay thing.”

Jason waves him off as he makes his way to the bedroom, “honestly, it’s never come up with Leslie. It’s not like I was hiding it from her, but I never thought I’d have any reason for her to know.”

Roy grins, throwing an arm around Jason’s shoulders and laughing at the eye roll he receives. “You got so bashful,” Roy teases.

Jason elbows him in response, shaking Roy off in order to sit on his bed and untie his boots. “Well, getting a genuinely nice conversation from the woman who had to cut my dead body open isn’t something I’m ever prepared for.”

Roy sighs at the mention of Jason’s death. “Get used to it. She looks so fond of you.”

“It will pass once she finds another stray to take in,” Jason replies as he puts his boots to the corner of the room and reaches for his casual clothes.

Roy crosses his arms, “I really don’t think she’s like that.”

“Whatever,” Jason shrugs, heading towards the bathroom.

Roy takes Jason’s place on the bed. “You can’t think like this forever, Jay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jason concedes, just to stop this portion of their conversation. “At least she believed it. You don’t have to stick around much longer if you don’t want to.”

“I’m here for the long-haul,” Roy admonishes, beginning to get changed himself. “And I think we should do something today.”

“You need to be more specific than ‘something’,” Jason replies, looking away from Roy whilst the other finishes.

“It’s a surprise.” Roy smiles, earning a frown from Jason who begins to get settled into bed.

“Can’t interfere with the night life,” Jason replies, holding the blanket up for Roy and feeling very close to gross from the domestic scene they were playing out. Jason’s time is always going to be borrowed, he needs to put it to practical use.

Roy smiles at Jason then, really smiles, and Jason crushes the butterflies as they start to hatch in his stomach. Roy leans over and has his head on Jason’s shoulder, patting his leg. “Someone else can cover your route. Humour me.”

Jason is shocked by the immediate reflex of putting his head on top of Roy’s. “Whatever.” He shakes his head, budging the archer off of him so that he could lie the opposite way. Jason has a general rule: he does not like to be touched. However, it is a dislike born from the mere fact that he craves it far too much. The truth that Jason wants someone to hug him because they love him, or pat his shoulder out of fondness, is something Jason has tried to bury like he had been. But just like him, it resurrects. He wants to be held so very tight that it will piece him back together again and mend the relationships he has damaged.

Roy, as always, seems unbothered as he pats Jason’s back, getting settled himself. “G’night, Jay.”

“Night, Roy.”

-

Jason spends his morning baffled as he wakes up to multiple texts from Cass, Damian and Dick, which really only serves to make him feel more out of the loop.

Roy tries to insist that Jason should just magically become illiterate as they sit on the subway. Roy links his arm with Jason and the subway digital sign is reading six stops until Metropolis. Roy is on his phone beside Jason, although turning the phone away from Jason’s view awfully suspiciously.

“What are you hiding?” Jason huffs, giving in after two minutes of trying to peek at the archers phone, put off that the other is getting the better of him. Roy could be leading them to a Superman Fanclub Meeting or they could be getting a pony and Jason’s would not have any idea which fucking one it would be.

Roy smirks in response, waving his now locked phone in front of Jason’s face, “Wouldn’t you like to know, pretty boy?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“It’s a part of my boyish charm.”

“You mean goofy.”

“Take a photo with me, pretty boy.”

“Fine.”

Roy shuffles minutely closer to Jason, slinging his arm around his shoulder as he grins. Jason mimics Roy, his expression looking extremely awkward. Jason notices Roy moving closer on the camera and opens his mouth to speak. Jason nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels Roy’s lips press on his cheek and the archer making an exaggerated ‘mwah’ sound. Jason feels his face warm up as Roy pulls back laughing, looking at his phone and opening his photos. Roy hands the phone over to Jason, the screen displaying Roy, grinning, kissing Jason’s cheek, and Jason’s surprised face, a smile on the corner of his mouth.

Jason should have known Roy would take this seriously, far too seriously. As long as Jason has known Roy the latter takes everything as a challenge. Jason supposes he’s always going to be some sort of challenge to Roy.

“I have to frame this,” Roy cheers, sending the photo over to Jason. “I’m sure a certain older brother of yours would have a field day with this.”

Jason fixes him with his best ‘I fucking dare you’ look, “I am not above fighting you on this train.”

“You couldn’t hurt me, pretty boy, you like me too much.”

Jason feels almost bitter at the truth behind the statement. “You’re way too confident in that.”

Roy just hums in response, sitting back in his chair. The rest of their subway ride goes on with minimal bickering and Roy taking a Power Nap on Jason’s shoulder. The latter enjoys taking photos and sending them over to Kori to enjoy when she is back on-world.

Jason shakes Roy awake and essentially leads him through the station until he hits the exit and turns to Roy with an expectant look.

“Let’s get some food first,” Roy says, interlocking his hand with Jason’s in what the latter assumes is a genuinely random direction. Roy ends up leading them to a cute diner, taking the corner most table.

“Dinah says she used to love a diner near the station, I wonder if this one is it,” Roy says conversationally and Jason still can’t quite figure out what the archer wants.

“She has the best taste out of you Star City bunch, so I hope so,” Jason replies, suddenly feeling flustered as Roy hands him a menu. “Why are we here?” Jason asks, baffled.

“Because we’re hungry?” Roy raises an eyebrow, looking at Jason like the latter should expect it to be that simple. “Pizza?” The archer questions, tilting his head.

“If you say so,” Jason agrees and Roy lets out a long sigh at Jason’s awkwardness. “You know I’ll eat anything. Don’t look at me like that!” Jason adds, mild offence written on his face which just makes Roy laugh.

Roy orders the food and pays, which inevitably causes a small argument as they debate whose turn it is. Roy complains that even when it is Roy’s turn the vigilante complains, which Jason concedes. They eat with random topics filling their conversation. Jason nearly chokes on a piece of pepperoni when a little girl walks by with her father and asks why the ginger man was trying to ‘be gangster.’ Roy turns his hat the right way after that, waving off the father as he apologises, albeit still looking embarrassed while doing so. Roy complains that Jason was no help whatsoever whilst Jason wheezes, out of breath. Roy gives him a fond look when Jason wipes his eyes, stating that, “It truly wasn’t that funny, but it was also fucking hilarious.”

They leave the diner after around an hour. Roy takes Jason’s hand again as they begin to walk farther into the city. Jason takes a moment to simply pretend that this is life all the time, doing mundane things with Roy showing him place after place, having interactions with strangers that light up your entire day.

“Any guesses where we’re heading, pretty boy?”

“To get a pony?”

“I keep telling you, you need a big garden to have a pony.”

“You just crushed my dreams so easily.”

Roy huffs out a laugh as he continues to lead Jason through a few streets of various aesthetics. Jason’s confusion grows as they begin to near the collection of theatres in the east of the city and Roy begins to slow his pace. Roy comes to a stop outside of a theatre with colourful hanging banners and white italic writing that Jason has to squint to read. A theatre production of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and ‘Sense and Sensibility’. When Jason looks back to Roy the archer is smiling and holding their intertwined hands up in between them. “This has to count as me reading Pride and Prejudice.”

Jason can only stare at Roy, looking so incredibly excited about something that Jason knows he has minimal interest in. Yet, he looks genuinely happy and Jason doesn’t know how to react, had never expected anyone to truly care, to know something so basic about him and indulge it. Jason bites the inside of his cheek as Roy’s smile turns to concern, but cuts him off before the archer can open his mouth. “I’ll accept it, just this once.”

Roy swings their interlocked hands and plants a kiss on Jason’s knuckles before heading into the theatre. Jason wishes that it could be real, even just for a moment. But for now, he’s happy to pretend for a few hours.

Chapter Text

Jason spends the next two days trying to pawn Roy off to other people. He tells him that Dick would love for Roy to patrol with him and lies telling him that Tim needs help with some kind of explosive technology that he had actually figured out a week ago. The younger vigilante begrudgingly goes along with it after chewing Jason out for pointlessly wasting time.

So Jason tries to get used to being completely on his own again. Roy has only been in Gotham for less than a week and already disruptes Jason’s entire existence.

The problem is really quite easy to solve. How, you ask? Classic avoidance, if nothing else Bruce did pass that on to Jason, intentional or not.

Which is how Jason also ends up in these dubious situations, because he lets people and emotions cloud his judgement and impact his decision making. The dubious situation in question leaves Jason at the hands of one of his former teachers, Egon, who he honestly kinda forgot about and also thought he murdered a few years ago. Egon had been what Jason thought was his first kill, the man having been a skilled and in-demand assassin that, despite having more money than he’d ever need, still kidnapped kids and sold them as sex slaves. An assassin Jason could live with, but a child trafficker? Jason honestly believes the man had gotten what he deserved, especially back then.

Now, Jason still believes that sometimes killing is necessary; the lesser of two evils and all that. But the fact of the matter is he can’t kill or he will lose his family, kicked out like a disobedient dog.

Egon doesn’t look well, starting with the scorch marks from Jason’s explosion and ending with the man’s left eye being sewn shut. The once steady assassin now has shaking hands. The assassin is standing in the warehouse that the Red Hood had bought and given to the street kids. Everyone in Gotham knows it is under his protection. Jason had made a miscalculation, had forgotten that the mentors he had killed had known his real name, that if they ever came back to haunt him, they’d know exactly where to hit him.

He half wishes he had put a bullet in the man’s skull just to ensure he was truly dead.

If the vigilante had been thinking clearly he wouldn’t have run straight into the trap with the most minimal options.

Egon is holding an unsteady gun and Jason can see a knife tucked into his belt. The assassin is holding a small Asian girl. Erin, Jason recalls, she is 9, has a big brother that Jason sees around but doesn’t come to the warehouse. Erin is gentle with the younger kids. It’s kids like her that Jason’s heart breaks for, but he is also so, so thankful for when she comforts one of the other kids or gives the group of kids a new idea for a game to keep them busy. He remembers remnants of the night Jason saw the truck full of little Asian kids, handcuffed and beaten and Jason felt a rage tear up inside of him that he hadn’t felt in so long. Jason remembers the dead kid with a bullet in between her eyes behind Egon’s office before he burnt it down.

He always remembers.

“All that time spent on you and looking at you. Now you crumple like the flowers where you used to be strong like the brick walls,” Egon states in disgust, his accent less thick than the last time Jason saw him. Erin trembles as she looks at the Red Hood, her hands holding tight to the arm unmoving around her neck, the gun knocking against her head.

“You should be a decomposed corpse. It’s what you deserve.” Jason narrows his eyes and nods to Erin, “Let her go. You want a real fight don’t you? Can’t do that with a kid taking up both your arms.”

Jason can see some of the kids peering out from the crates scattered round the corners of the room as he speaks and he hopes so desperately that they know he will protect them.

“I don’t care to fight you, I want to break you piece by piece.” Egon grins and Jason holds back a cringe, the man’s face twisting and torn and showing infected flesh as his face adjusts to his expression.

Jason’s first instinct is to pull out his gun and shoot Egon, finish what he started. But he won’t.

“You’re much too cocky for a man so easily poisoned,” Jason points at the assassin's face for emphasis. Goading is his best bet right now.

It was apparently the right choice, too. Egon points the gun at Jason’s face and Jason is surprised that Erin responds to the lack of attention on her so quickly. Jason braces himself as she bites down on Egon’s bare arm, the assassin lets out a swear and makes to adjust his aim, Jason grabs the arm with the gun and swings, Egon flying over his head and hitting the floor.

Jason is aware of Erin sitting on the floor a few metres away, aware of another of the kids, Finn, running to pull her out of the way and Jason’s entire focus goes to the gun. Egon doesn’t pack the same punch that he used to, but his desperation makes him more dangerous, especially to a warehouse full of kids. Jason uses his free hand to wrestle the gun out of the man’s grip, putting his knee to the man’s chest at the same moment that Egon kicks the bottom half of his body up. He kicks Jason in the back of the head, the flexible bastard. The momentum of it changes Jason’s stance, too busy stopping the gun from firing in any other direction than himself. He swears when the gun goes off, a bullet going straight through his side.

Egon truly lacks the skill he used to have, the man relaxes noticeably after wounding Jason and the vigilante takes the opportunity to put his knee to Egon’s throat and snatch the gun from his relaxed hand. Jason then hits Egon in the head with the butt of the gun, checking the assassin is fully passed out before he’s satisfied. Jason turns his comms back on, switching to the group channel.

“I need someone to apprehend a guy for me.”

“Location?” Oracle replied.

“Warehouse at the end corner of Crime Alley. Raymond Street.”

“On my way, ETA four minutes,” Spoiler replies.

“Thanks. Does anyone know if Arsenal has access to this line?”

“With me,” Black Bat replies, surprising Jason. “You need him.”

“Yeah, need ‘im to watch the warehouse. Thanks, Bat.”

Jason turns the comm volume down and stands up, nudging Egon with his foot. He turns to look at the kids who had begun inching closer since he had knocked Egon down.

“He got you,” one of the kids, James, comments in disbelief.

“Barely,” Jason says before he can help himself.

“Is it gonna be safe here? Do we need to bounce?” another kid, Shannon, questions.

“I won’t let it happen again. This guy was off my radar ‘cause he was meant to be dead,” the Red Hood assures, trying to emphasise his confidence in his ability to protect them.

One of the kids Jason had only just started seeing around tugged on Finn’s arm. Jason immediately understood his intention and took a few long steps backwards. He brought his hands to the gunshot wound and looked back at the kids. Their entire demeanors had changed, suspicious and calculating.

Jason gets it, even now. Back in his alley days he would have thought the same way. Maybe he even would nowadays.

“‘Gonna make myself scarce, this place will always be open to ya’. Another vigilante is gon’ be ‘round to arrest this guy,” Jason says. No use trying to force the decision he wants on them, they’ll never trust him that way and will feel less safe than they already do. Jason closes the warehouse door behind him and takes a moment to rest his head back against the brick wall and take a deep breath.

He starts walking towards his nearest safehouse when a familiar voice calls out to him.

“Hood! Hood, you gotta come quick!” Farrah is running towards him, her mascara dried tear tracks on her cheeks and her hands shake as she grabs his arm. “Oh my god, that’s blood,” she says in horror.

“Nevermind that. What’s wrong?” Jason is narrowing his eyes at the alley Farrah came from, half-expecting some over-entitled middle-aged man to round the corner with a knife; this is Gotham’s Crime Alley afterall.

“It’s Gemma,” Farrah’s voice drops to a near wail as she rubs her nose with the back of her hand. Jason’s stomach drops as she begins speaking again. “She’s dead. Me ‘nd Jess, we hadn’t heard from her all day. We went to her usual room and there was blood everywhere and bruises on her neck and her arms and-” Farrah cuts herself off with a sob as she buries her face in her hands.

Jason rubs her shoulder, careful of his own blood, he hopes it comforts her in some way. “I’m going to find whoever did this to her and they’ll wish they were dead.”

“She just wanted to live and be happy and loved. It's not fair!” Farrah looks up from her hands, her eyes still watery. “Don’t go making trouble for yourself, Hood. She wouldn’t want that. None ‘us do. Just… please? She respected you and we’re all thankful for you, Hood. This woulda ‘appened sooner if not for you.”

Jason tries to keep his voice steady, “‘Course, I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

“The big bad Red Hood’s getting emotional,” Farrah jokes, her tears making a reappearance as she smiles. “Your buddy’s there right now.”

“Thanks,” Jason nods, giving Farrah’s hair a ruffle as he walks by. “I’m sorry I couldn't protect her.”

Jason doesn’t hear her response as he grapples to the top of the building. Feeling too disoriented by the night to hide his surprise at Black Bat standing behind him.

“Little brother, okay?” she questions already reaching into her utility belt and unwrapping a wound plaster, covering both sides of the wound despite his silence.

“Let’s just go,” Jason says, making his way to the building he knows the girls work, trusting Cass to be behind him. Upon landing on the building, Jason drops to the steel balcony, entering through the already opened window and comes face-to-face with Roy.

“I’m sorry, Jay,” Roy whispers as he pulls Jason into the hug. The latter surprises even himself when he returns it.

Pulling away Jason opens the door. No point putting it off. There is blood all over the bedsheets which Gemma is wrapped in and a knife beside the pillow. Jason approaches the knife and picks it up, turning it over and his blood running cold when he sees the engraving Egon V.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” Jason yells, throwing the knife at the wall.

“Woah, hey, who?” Roy questions, gripping Jason’s shoulder.

“Won’t matter if I get my hands on him,” Jason replies, storming out of the room, just catching Cass and Roy’s shared look of alarm.

The pair follow Jason down the steel stairs into the alley. Jason drops to the ground and Roy scrambles to be beside him. Cass looks down at the pair and inches closer protectively.

“Egon, an old teacher I had in the league, my first kill, was in charge of some child trafficking. I never saw him coming and now the kids don't feel safe and Gemma is dead and it’s all my fault! I promised I’d protect them and this is my fault,” Jason says, bringing his hands to his neck, tucking his head to his chest.

“Not little brother’s fault,” Cass states firmly.

“You couldn’t have done anything. You can’t save or protect everyone,” Roy comforts, taking Jason’s arms and pulling him to stand. “Let’s go home.”

Jason knows he must be acting pathetic by the way Roy and Cass both keep looking back at him as they make their way over the rooftops towards Jason’s apartment. Cass lingers at the door but shakes her head when Jason motions for her to come in. Cass points to Roy and then to herself, “Boyfriend will comfort better than me. You are comfortable.”

Jason opens his arms and Cass engages the hug, “You’re welcome anytime, big sister.”

Cass smiles and waves, making her way back outside through the hallway window. Jason closes the door and throws his helmet off, throwing it on the floor with so much anger he’s surprised it doesn’t crack. He crumples to the ground, unable to stop his tears. Roy is in front of him in an instant, guiding Jason’s head to his shoulder, rubbing circles on his back. Roy is thankful that Jason lets himself unravel with Roy. Back when Roy was at his lowest he had been mildly shocked that Jason was always a comforting, supporting presence. Roy knows and believes that love isn’t a currency, but it feels nice to know he can return the care and the protection.

As long as Roy has known Jason, the latter has never handled guilt well. Growing up on the streets had mental effects no matter how much Jason denies it. Jason hates resources being used on him, hates people protecting him even more. Not being able to save someone? That’s his biggest “weakness” of all. To Jason he is perpetually too late when it matters.

“I got her killed,” Jason croaks.

“You didn’t do a thing to lead him to her and you couldn’t have known,” Roy soothes, finding himself nearly at a loss for what to say.

“She was innocent. That never should have happened to her. The whole point of me is to stop these things happening, especially here.”

“You’re right, Jay. She was innocent and that shouldn’t have happened to her. But you did all you could. You’re making it safer here. You’re helping people. The ‘point’ of you isn’t to be a means to an end, you’re here to do what you love. Saving people is hard and we don’t always win, but fucking hell, we always try.”

“Sometimes trying isn’t enough, Roy. And sometimes trying doesn’t mean shit if it ain’t getting results.” Jason frees himself from Roy’s grasp and rises, walking into the kitchen.

Roy follows, grabbing Jason’s elbow, “Calm down and be rational, Jason.”

Jason follows Roy’s gaze to the knife block at the corner of the kitchen and bites his bottom lip, taking a deep breath. “You really think that’s what I came in here to do? Get a fucking kitchen knife to kill the fucker?”

“I just don’t want ya’ to regret anything, Jay,” Roy defends, reaching to hold Jason’s arm again but is hit away angrily.

“Get out.”

“Jay?”

“You’re just like the rest of em’,” Jason snarls, storming his way to the door and unlocking it, his hand on the handle.

“Ya’ know I don’t care if you kill!” Roy argues, growing frustrated as he helplessly follows Jason.

“It’s the fact that you assume it’s what I’m going to do!” Jason yells, trying and succeeding, for once, to hold back his tears.

“He would have deserved it!”

“Don’t you think I know that?! But these girls knew me as the Red Hood who’s the black sheep of the bats, the guy who makes sure their abusers serve their sentences. Not as the Red Hood that decapitated drug lords and was left for dead by Batman! I don’t regret who I killed but I’m not a murderer to the people I’m trying to protect and that matters more than anything else! More than the family’s no killing rule or the GCPD waiting for me to kill again. Sometimes killing is a mercy, Roy. Sometimes death is too easy of a way out for what they’ve done.” Jason opens the door, his knuckles white as he grips the handle. “Just, get out.”

“Jason, please. You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Roy pleads, for once hoping his desperation would show sincerity.

“You never should have come here,” Jason replies firmly, keeping eye contact with Roy until he shuts the door. Jason walks back to the kitchen and opens his towel drawer, wetting it under the tap and taking off his shirt to clean the blood from around his newest wound. Once he has cleaned all around the wound plasters, he calls it a night, throws the towel in the washing machine and settles into his bed. He’d treat the wound properly tomorrow, but for now Jason is ready to stop the pressure of existing, of all the bad things that have happened, and falls asleep.

-

Jason sleeps through all of the next day and to his surprise and gratitude, nobody bothers him. He wakes up at 1pm, has a glass of water, goes back to sleep. He’s not aware enough to remember everything that’s happened until the next day, when he wakes up feeling disoriented but blissfully not exhausted anymore.

Then he remembers.

Jason heads for a shower as soon as he’s out of bed, peeling off the wound plasters, satisfied that there’s no sign of infection he reapplies another set of plasters once he’s out of his shower. He brushes his teeth and gets changed, trying to feel like a person again. He picks his phone up from the floor, clinging to life on 11% and Jason plugs it in without unlocking it. He’ll open this can of worms later.

Jason puts off facing reality. He makes cereal for breakfast and says a prayer under his breath for Gemma. The only catholic prayer he remembers is one for grief, but he thinks she’d appreciate it anyways. He may not be catholic anymore, but sometimes a prayer and a moment of belief that there is something out there feels comforting on occasion. Jason properly washes his helmet and repairs his costume whilst he whistles whatever Stephanie was singing out of tune at the last family dinner.

Then Jason hears his phone ringing. The familiar default ringtone has Jason sighing in resignation and walking back to his bedroom. Damian’s contact is flashing on his phone. Jason hopes this is the first time Damian’s called or he’ll get an earful.

“Hey, Dami.”

“Hello, Todd. Bat-Cow misses you. Please rectify this.”

Jason can’t stop the grin that comes despite himself. His little brother was so unintentionally funny and brightens his days more than he’ll ever acknowledge.

“Noted. Do you need anything, Dami?”

“I… heard that Egon was out for revenge. I’ve contacted Mother and she’ll have him handled. I’m sorry, Akhi.”

Jason feels himself soften at the nickname and realises how positively weak his heart is to his youngest brother. Neither of them mention much of their time in the league together, but the bond was made and both boys have promised to protect each other time and time again. “I appreciate that, Dami. You know you’re my favourite.”

“Besides Alfred?”

“Besides Alfred.”

“That will do. Same to you, Akhi.”

“Okay, okay, no need to butter me up. I’ll be over in the next few days to play with Bat-Cow.”

“I’m sure Ace would also enjoy frisbee.”

“And frisbee with Ace. Yes, boss,” Jason laughs and hangs up the phone.

Damian is more like Jason than anyone else in the family. They’ll avoid uncomfortable emotional topics till they’re blue in the face. The rest of the family are almost always ready to burst into song about the power of emotions. But that’s just Jason’s opinion.

Surprisingly, Barbara has sent him more messages than Dick, though there’s almost definitely work related stuff in there. There’s a few from Dick, a couple from Tim, one from Steph which included Cass and a YouTube link from Duke for a game they both like. Daylight Boy always had the best comedic timing.

The last message Barbara has sent tells him to call her, so he bites the bullet and rings her contact. She answers on the second ring.

“Babs.”

“Jason Peter Todd-Wayne.”

“Please don’t full-name me.”

“You can’t just go radio silent for a day!” Barbara scolds and Jason rolls his eyes so hard he’s shocked they don’t get stuck.

“I was literally asleep, we’ve all been there.”

“A lot happened the other day. We were worried.”

“I noticed. Demon brat told me the cow misses me.”

“She has been mooing louder.”

“God, it’s hard being so popular.”

Barbara scoffs before continuing. “Steph handed the assassin to GCPD. He’s being held until his hearing in two weeks.”

“Lovely.”

“Tim wants to partner for a drug bust in two weeks time if you’re back in the field by then.”

“Sure.”

They both fall silent. Today is apparently another day to be bitter. To remember that before his death, they used to be close. Barbara was the one he’d tell about gossip at his school. Barbara once helped Jason stay overnight in the library. They both read into the early hours of the morning until Barbara had to start her opening shift. She was the only one that played video games with Jason and in return he helped her whenever she needed an assistant for a project, though she probably never needed the help and just liked to have someone listen.

“You can’t run from everything, Jason.”

“Oh, so we’re doing this now?”

Jason hears a loud sigh on the other end of the phone. “If one of us died tomorrow you would ruin yourself over what could have been. So why are you pushing us all away when being alone would scare you?”

“I didn’t ask for a psychoanalysis from a librarian vigilante.”

“You’re getting a rant about your mental wellbeing from essentially your sister,” Barbara replies, her tone softer.

“We’re not how we used to be, Babs.”

“Of course we’re not. None of us are, nothing ever stays the same and we’ve all grown up. I think you forget how similar we can be, Jason. Our hobbies, our interests, hell, even our trauma. You died Jason but you didn’t come back different, you came back the same and grew up. It happens to everyone.”

“Do you ever wish you could know when the last time you would do something was going to be the last?”

“No, because then you would have run away from me to save yourself from hurt. Also, I never would’ve finished painting my walls by myself.”

Jason barks out a laugh, so very tired, so regretful. “Then you wouldn’t have finished that horror movie.”

“Please stop running, Jason. You’ve suffered enough, let yourself have as soft an epilogue as you can get in this city.”

“I’ll think about it.”

The call ends after that and Jason takes a break from his dumpster fire of relationships. He suits up for a night of vigilantism, finally putting the helmet on once he is satisfied there is truly no serious damage to it.

Jason heads for the smokers corner first, noting that Farrah and Jessie were dressed up for the night, both holding lit cigarettes. A third person was a part of their group tonight. Jason is shocked to see he recognised the figure as Arsenal. He is in his vigilante gear and leaning against the wall. Jason is close enough to hear him laugh at something the girls say. Jason observes from his vantage point on the roof, sitting down and leaning against the rooftop door of the building. He can’t quite make out what is being said, just the faint sound of Jessie shouting a swear and Farrah and Arsenal’s occasional laughter. After a solid 20 minutes, Jason watches Arsenal walk around the bend and the girls stomping out their cigarettes, walking back to their working block.

Next on Jason’s mental checklist is checking the warehouse. He cuts across a series of roofs, foregoing the grapple for the first time in a while and just enjoying the sensation of the impact of landing after each jump. Jason makes it to the building beside the warehouse in three minutes and sits down on the roof again, deciding to keep watch for a while in case the kids are around. After ten minutes of sitting, Jason rises, preparing to jump down the metal balconies, when the door to the warehouse opens. Jason sits back on his heels and immediately recognises Finn and Erin, the pair standing beside the door and peering around the corner every dozen or so seconds. Jason is starting to debate making himself known to the kids when he sees a familiar ginger figure rounding the corner, this time holding a bag. The kids seem to relax upon seeing Arsenal, once the archer is in range they immediately start whispering to him. Arsenal ushering them back inside.

Jason takes a moment to debate whether he should join them, at the very least to be able to see that they were truly alright. But the kids seemed happy, his appearance may ruin that. He’ll be glad that they still feel safe there and he will leave them be. Arsenal being there surprised him, but despite everything he trusts the archer with the people he protects.

Maybe, if Arsenal stays, Crime Alley won’t need him anymore. If someone better than the Red Hood decides to protect this part of Gotham, nobody would notice Jason disappear. Maybe he could crawl back into his grave that remains in Gotham Cemetery, cradling the uniform in that goddamn glass case in the Bat Cave. It would be nice to finally rest, being dead was the quietest part of his life. But Jason isn’t done yet, no matter how much he wants to be, he doesn’t think he will be for a long time.

Next on Jason’s list is Leslie’s clinic, and then a clean up of any drug dealers scuttering about tonight, then circle back around his route and call it a night early.

Jason stares at the warehouse a moment longer and sighs. Jumping down a building, he makes his way to Leslie’s clinic.

There is only one light left on in the clinic and upon trying the handle it is already locked. Jason raps his knuckles on the door in his usual manner and waits. Leslie opens the door within two minutes.

“Oh, Red Hood.” Leslie frowns “Not another injury I hope? Come in, come in.”

Jason waits until Leslie has closed and locked the door again before replying. “Nothing I haven’t taken care of. I’m here to check stock.”

Leslie pinches the bridge of her nose as she leads Jason to her office, settling back into her chair and motioning for Jason to sit. “Roy already did that. He told me he’d pass it along to you. I’m sorry about the kids. I heard what happened.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jason replies dumbly, unsure of how to properly respond.

“You weren’t expecting that?” Leslie questions, a soft smile overtaking her face again.

“I didn’t realise how interested you are in the vigilantism you hate so much.”

“I’m afraid I’ll always be emotionally invested in you lot. Plus, you’re the only one I’ve known since you were little. I care about what you do.”

Jason shakes his leg and looks at his hands, at a loss once again. Not surprising for him, apparently, as Leslie just continues.

“Roy told me about your lovers’ spat,” the doctor teases, trying to broach the subject in a more comfortable manner.

“Trouble in paradise,” Jason agrees.

“Do you want to explain your side of the argument to me?”

Jason sneers at that. “I don’t need another person in my life thinking all I am is a murderer.”

Leslie lets out a soft breath at that, folding her hands on the table. “I think anyone would feel that way. Roy did not explain his thought process well. But, Jason, he doesn’t think that way of you.”

Jason rolls his eyes. “You’re just afraid that I’ll lose the person I’m close to outside of the family. No doctor likes their patients going backwards. It discredits you, doesn’t it?”

Leslie narrows her eyes at this. “That attitude won’t work on me, Jason. You’ve never been in love before and I think that scares you. It’s not an evil thing to lend yourself some kindness, Jason. Your life was never meant to be a punishment or a sentence.”

Jason rubs a hand over his face, debating what to say next. Because Leslie is right about one thing, being in love with Roy Harper terrifies him. Roy has so many people that care about him, that are important to him. Jason barely makes that list as is. Expecting Roy to love him the way Jason loves him is too large of a request. Jason is content in Roy being his platonic other half because that is already more than he deserves. Jason loves like a diseased dog. He loves like his canines are falling out, like a rabid beast, something that isn’t worth returning love to. Jason isn’t something that was created for love, or anything tender and gentle. He has to remind himself of that.

“Y’know, Doc, as a little street rat I dreamed of my own place with someone I loved and a cat or a dog. My world wouldn’t be confined to cardboard boxes and our tiny apartment. I’d be able to sleepily stumble through the house. There would be no fighting, no abuse, no hatred. I could sit in the backyard and look at the stars and shop for animal toys with someone that was in love with me. I’d be able to go out whenever I would like to and I would be free. The only thing I ever wanted was to survive long enough to have that and I didn’t. That kinda life isn’t for people like me. I don’t fit into that kind of picture. There’s no point taking that away from someone else by dragging them down with me.”

A tear escapes the corner of Leslie’s eye as Jason speaks. She wipes it away and stares at Jason with a fixed frown. “You will have that Jason. One day. All you have to do is let yourself have it. You’re too caught up in the logistics of this second chance you’ve gotten. It is your life and you will live it, whatever way you want to. You have earned that basic right ten times over with all that you do. Life hasn’t been fair to you, Jason. But it handed the reins over to you and now you’re not being kind with yourself.”

Jason gives Leslie a small smile, his eyes becoming a little wetter when he properly looks at the doctor. As a kid Jason remembers her as smooth-skinned with slightly frizzy hair and an award-winning smile. Now, the woman across from Jason has wrinkles around her eyes as well as permanent eye bags and a smile that rarely shows her teeth. She watched Jason grow up, but he watched her grow too. It’s different with Alfred, who was on the older side when Jason met him and who Jason is convinced, quite happily, is immortal. Leslie has aged, but, god, does it tell a story of the woman she is. She gave her life to helping people. It fulfilled her and she loved it in turn. There are visible wrinkles to prove the joy she’s had. Now, she is softer, motherly, realistic and optimistic and still moves heaven and earth for the smallest of victories.

“You’re really something, Doc. Something really good.”

Jason feels his own little victory when the doctor’s face morphs into shock. From the compliment itself or the fact that it was coming from Jason, the vigilante isn’t sure.

Jason stands, walks to the door and hesitates. “I don’t know how to fix whatever's wrong with me. I don’t want to be alone. I hate being alone. But somehow I’m my most comfortable when I’m lonely. Roy is the only person that’s an exception to that, I want to be able to be his, and he mine. It’s like, in the moment I forget about all this shit until I realise I’m in reality and whatever we have won’t last. Everybody in my life gives up on me besides you and Alfie, when it comes to the family I think they think they want me, until they remember what I’m a walking reminder of. But, at the same time, I want to be a part of it all, a part of me wants to curl away in disgust when they see me and the other part of me wants to be loved without a doubt, to know it’s unconditional. I’ll cave and go to one of their stupid movie nights or team bonding or family dinners and I’ll be reminded that the reality will never be the fantasy.”

“Jason! Come back, I still haven’t patched you up!”

Jason walks back outside of the office, ignoring the voice of the doctor and out of the clinic, shutting the door and turning the handle behind him. He begins walking through the alley and has the distinct feeling of being watched.

Chapter Text

Jason walks back outside of the office, ignoring the voice of the doctor and out of the clinic, shutting the door and turning the handle behind him. He begins walking through the alley and has the distinct feeling of being watched. He looks up and sees the familiar figure of Nightwing. Jason sighs and grabs his grappler from his utility belt and makes his way onto the rooftop.

“Let’s get this over and done with, Big Wing,” Jason sighs as he walks up to his brother and crosses his arms.

“If Roy hadn’t talked to me I wouldn’t have known you were alive.”

“Why is everyone in this family so goddamn dramatic?”

“I don’t think you’re a killer, Little Wing. I think for the most part you did what needed to be done.”

“Thanks for the approval, Dad.”

“Ever since we were kids, all I ever wanted to do was protect you, Jay. I know I was mean and petty because I was mad at Bruce, but you created a reflex in me that had me checking you were safe and cared for even if I wasn’t the one to do it. You made life warmer. You filled a void I didn’t know needed filling quite yet.”

Jason narrows his eyes at Dick and sighs, opening his arms and motioning for a hug. The elder tackles him gladly, engulfing him and letting out a sort of teary snort.

“Alright, alright.” Jason pats his brothers back. “This is very sweet ‘n all but ya’ know I’m useless when ya’ cry.”

“I just wish you’d accept that we don’t want the young Jason. We want the Jason you are now. You’re perfect, Little Wing, and I want to really be your brother again without being afraid of scaring you off.” Dick sniffs, taking a step back to very eloquently wipe his nose in his sleeve which Jason tuts at.

“I’m so tired, Dick,” Jason confesses. “My brain wants things but my heart wants another and all that shit. It doesn't make sense and other people don’t make sense to me. I feel like I don’t ever understand anything. I think I’m done fighting. I think I’ll think that a hundred more times and I’ll go and contradict it, but that’s what I really want, Dick.”

“I’ll always be there to catch you, Jay, I’ll always be your safety net.”

“Corny ass. Thanks, Dick.”

Dick smiles softly at his brother before gesturing again, “Also, what is going on with you and Roy? I’ve thought for like a year that you were together and Roy would get embarrassed and deny it and now you’re together and he’s really proud of it? When did this happen?! And your argument the other night, oh my god! I’ve never seen Roy cry over a man! He debated apology roses, Jay! Fucking roses! I don’t know whether to be proud or disgusted and neither of you have told me anything really! I want details, people, details!” Dick gets progressively louder and he rambles, making Jason cringe.

“I’ll cover all of that on one condition,” Jason offers.

“Hit me.”

“I need some treatment for this fucking bullet wound and I’ve been way too vulnerable with Leslie lately.”

“Jason, oh my god!” Dick frets, grabbing his arms and inspecting them. “How long have you left it?”

“Two days.” Jason grimaces at Dick’s sudden tenseness.

“Oh my god, Jason. Tell me it was a clean one.”

Jason clears his throat and replies, “It’s still in there. The pits kept away the worst of the infectious shit but it ain’t feeling so good right now.”

“Oh my god, you’re stupid. So very, very stupid,” Dick mutters, pressing the button for his comms.

“Fuckin charmer,” Jason mutters under his breath, earning a glare from Dick as the elder starts speaking.

“Hey, Oracle, I need the Bat Cave cleared out. Red Hood has a bullet wound that needs attention. We’ll bring his bike.”

“Oh, will we now?” Jason mutters, rolling his eyes, and earning himself a Dick Grayson glare once again.

“I’ll grab it. Keys, Little Wing? You can’t irritate the wound more than you already have.”

“I was literally asleep throughout the entire day. I’ve behaved.”

“You’re lethal,” Dick groans, putting his face in his hands. “Keys. Now.” There is a pause before he adds, “Please.”

“Okay, okay.” Jason sighs, takes his keys from his pocket and throws them at Dick. “One more thing? My phone is back at the apartment, give Arsenal a message; tell him he can stay there and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Yes, oh mighty Red Hood.” Dick smiles, jumping down from the roof and making his way to Jason’s apartment.

“I don’t fancy staying at your place when you’re going to the Bat Cave for that bullet you told me you removed. That bike can totally seat three.”

Jason jumps as he hears the voice of Arsenal behind him, embarrassed that he’s clearly not in top form. Arsenal just smiles and sits down beside Jason, dangling his legs off of the roof and kicking them. Jason looks to the floor, fidgeting with his hands. Roy elbows him gently and throws an arm around him.

“Oh, darling, our first lovers spat! Definitely not our worst though, I gotta say,” The archer announces dramatically, causing Jason to hit his leg.

Jason snorts because the archer isn’t wrong, really. “According to Dick you were going to get roses? Very nice dramatic touch.”

Arsenal sighs, removing his arm from Jason’s shoulders, “You know me, I’d kill it as a pantomime performer. ‘Oh, something bad has happened, my life is over!’”

Jason shakes his head despite himself. “This was different though.”

“I guess it was to do with the alley, after all, that’s your territory. I’m sorry, Jay, you have to know I never meant to sound doubtful of you. You’ve worked hard, but to me what you did wasn’t really wrong. They were bad people that probably wouldn’t ever change. You’re not like the people we fight against, you’re good, through and through. I’m sorry I didn’t act like I believed in you. I was just worried. Nothing like that has ever happened to us before and I knew you were hurting.”

“Forget it. I’m sorry too. I jumped the gun when I shouldn’ta,” Jason says, tapping Roy’s leg.

“I’ll always be by your side, Jay. No matter what. If you pissed off the entire world I’d fight them for you. I’d travel the world for you. In the end, I’ll always come back to you, Jay.” Roy smiles, looking straight at Jason for the first time their whole conversation. Something inside Jason roars with love.

“You too, Arse. We’re the dream team.” Jason returns the smile, offering his fist for a fist bump which Roy reciprocates.

“Yeah,” Roy laughs, his tone something Jason can’t quite understand. “The dream team, that’s what we are.”

Jason nods dumbly, bumping shoulders with the archer. The two sit in silence. Roy intertwines their fingers and guides Jason’s head to his shoulder. Neither says anything until Dick arrives below them, looking up at them expectantly. Jason stands and looks at Roy questioningly. The vigilante raises an eyebrow.

The archer shakes his head. “I’ll make my way there. I’ll be there in 20, okay?”

Jason nods, making his way down to Dick through the metal stairs. He now remembers how much he hates the indented steel as he nearly stumbles down the last few stairs. The texture of the grooves does nothing but retain ice. Jason wordlessly climbs onto the motorcycle behind Dick and rests his head on the back of Dick’s neck.

“Hold on, Little Wing,” Dick whispers. Jason feels a sliver of guilt at the concern in his brother's voice, the elder’s shoulders tensing.

“Nah, I think I’d rather fly off. Be a bird for a second,” Jason replies sarcastically.

Dick just shakes his head, going harder on the accelerator. Jason would feel rather offended by the fact that Dick always tells him off for the exact same thing if he didn’t feel like his body had suddenly aged a century and a sprinkle of stomach pain. Jason feels himself nodding off, where he’d usually get himself to snap out of it he instead relaxes further. Dick will get him there. Maybe he’ll be lucky enough to wake up after a twelve hour sleep and be basically grand-spanking-new. Jason finds himself missing falling asleep in his apartment bed with Roy by his side, but for now his brother's back will do.

-

Jason wakes to quiet, which surprises him for two reasons. Firstly, the Bat Cave is always full of noise these days with the amount their family has grown. Secondly, his family is sometimes blind to boundaries, even if they don’t intend to be.

Jason sits up in the bed groggily, unused to the textures of the medbay blankets. Jason rubs his hands up and down his face and opens his eyes to look around the room.

“I’d rather you come right away when you are hurt, my boy,” Alfred says, sitting in a chair a couple of metres away from Jason’s bed. He sets the book he is reading flat on his lap and folds his hands atop of it.

“Sorry, Alfie. Take it as a one off. Was a weird night,” Jason replies, rolling his shoulders. Jason swings his legs over the side of the bed and lifts his shirt to look at the handiwork.

“You cannot reopen anymore stitches, Master Jason. Therefore I’m grounding you from night shifts for at least the next week. You must heal properly,” Alfred scolds, his face soft despite his hard tone.

“I appreciate the concern, Alfie, but I gotta keep an eye on the alley now more than ever and-“

“I’m sorry to interrupt, my boy, but that wasn’t a request. You are grounded. Master Roy will be covering the alley as he has the past couple of days. He seems to be doing a sufficient job.” Alfred leans forward, resting a hand on Jason’s. “He cares for it because you care. I believe he will do the best job.”

Jason is speechless for a moment, mostly shocked because Alfred has never in his life grounded Jason and the vigilante is quite honestly baffled. However, Alfred has always been the only one he could never really argue with. Jason holds his hands up with a soft smile. “Alright, Alfie. What time is it?”

“It’s 6pm, Master Jason. I will make a separate dinner for you. Would you like to move to your room upstairs to be more comfortable?” Alfred questions, rising to his feet and looking down at his grandson.

“I’ll make myself some soup, Alfie, don’t worry. I think I’ll move up there and sleep there. Guessing I’m under house arrest?” Jason jokes, smiling at the older man as he stands and follows Alfred towards the Manor.

“You may leave, Master Jason. You will not be kept here if you are uncomfortable. I, however, would rather you stayed so that I know you are safe. We could do some baking and scour the library? It has been awhile since you’ve had an extended stay at the manor, my boy,” Alfred replies as they arrive in the manor, Alfred ushering his grandson into the kitchen.

Jason is silent for a moment before replying, “I’ll stay, Alfie. Don’t worry.”

The butler seems momentarily startled by the easy agreement but recovers quickly. “The rest of the family are in the living room. You can join them or head upstairs if you would like more alone time and I will bring you some food? I could grab Master Roy as well?” Alfred offers, fluttering around the kitchen immediately, looking into the fridge and looking back to Jason.

Jason appreciates the understanding of his grandfather and feels a comforting kind of love settle in his ribcage. “I think I’ll sit in here and keep you company, Alfie.” Jason takes a seat at the table and takes the book from the older man when it’s handed to him.

“Of course, my boy,” Alfred smiles warmly, turning back to the counters. “The cooking will be finished in twenty-five minutes.”

“Thanks, Alfie,” Jason nods and turns the book over in his hands, smiling to himself when he sees the title. “Another Little Women reread?”

The butler hums a sound of amusement as he sets to work. “Easy to pick up and put down when you’re busy as you know, Master Jason.”

“Have you read the Poe collection Bruce gotcha’ yet?” Jason questions, sitting the book down on the table again.

“I was mildly disappointed by his writing, but I appreciated the gift” the older man comments, moving around the kitchen. “I do love talking about literature, my boy, but currently I have a more important topic of interest right now. How are you holding up, Master Jason?” The older man turns around for a moment before going back to his cooking.

Jason picks up the book again and rotates it in his hands, considering his question. “I let down the kids and the working girls and I’ve been unfair to Roy. I suppose I’m just a little worn down and disappointed. I should have known better.”

Alfred huffs as he continues with the cooking, “Master Jason, you must stop having such unrealistic standards for yourself. I’m sure no one else thinks they have been let down by you. I am certain you have given many of them hope they never would have had. There are bad days in this job this family has undertaken, days where we are unable to win, however, you must remember the good you do and that the bad is not your fault, my boy.” Alfred gives Jason a moment to digest his words before continuing. “Master Roy has given no indication that you have been unfair or unkind in any way. The boy is positively smitten! He cares for you a great deal so I am sure seeing you hurt was uncomfortable, but that is in no way unfair to him or anyone who cares about you.”

“I suppose,” Jason concedes, opening the first page of the book. The kitchen fell silent for a time, the only sounds coming from the bubbling on the stove and Alfred cleaning the utensils he’d already used. Jason likes this book well enough, it has always been one of Alfred’s favourites. Jason used to wonder if that was because the older man yearned a little for a life like the one Alcott writes, simple and warm and surrounded by family. Jason only half agrees with that thought now. He now thinks Alfred secretly likes their vigilantism more than he lets on.

The silence endures for another five minutes before someone else enters the kitchen. “Oh, Little Wing. You’re awake! How are you feeling?”

Jason sits the book down on the table and leans his head on a hand. “I’m feeling like I’m about to have the best soup of my entire life.”

“Best soup of your life so far,” Alfred corrects from his place at the stove.

Dick huffs out a laugh and leans forward, putting his hands together and leaning on them with a teasing smile. “So I'll get my answers now?”

“If you have to,” Jason sighs.

Dick smiles wider. “Well, come on then! Why didn’t you tell me you liked Roy like that? How long have you been together? Who asked who? What was your first date like? Why didn’t you tell us you were dating earlier?”

Alfred lets out a chuckle at the eldest excitement as he sits a bowl in front of Jason, who thanks him with a smile before turning back to Dick.

“Okay, we never talk about who we ‘like’ for fucks sake,” Jason gags dramatically and begins sipping his soup, aware of Alfred now hovering around the kitchen due to a curiosity he would likely never admit. “So it would be weird if I randomly came to you with that and vice versa. We’ve been together a few months, we started at the end of our last Outlaws mission,” Jason lies, hoping the omission of exact dates doesn’t go noticed. “I think you know Roy asked me, he’s clearly the more shameless out of the two of us.” Jason pauses for a moment to remember the next question, “It feels weird to admit that I really, really like someone y’know, romantically or whatever. Plus you guys seemed convinced that I have zero friends or any relationships, so I figured you wouldn’t believe it anyways.”

Dick frowns. “You’ve been with Roy for half a year. I’m meant to be the annoying, pestering older brother you give the gossip to. Besides, you shouldnt be afraid to ask for something you want, Jay, so I wouldn't call it all that shameless.” Dick pauses again and looks down at his hands. “I know we probably came off harsh, but we just worry and want to know there are people looking out for you when you’re away from us. I would’ve been a bit surprised that it finally happened, but not all that shocked.”

Jason raises an eyebrow at that, cocking his head. “What do you mean you wouldn’t have been shocked?”

Dick turns around to include Alfred. “You get what I mean, right, Alfie? They’ve always been all ‘till death do us part’ and all that.”

Alfred nods, pulling up a chair to sit with his grandchildren. “I recall around a year or so ago, Miss Koriand'r visited after a particularly tough mission with your team, Master Jason, their only visit without you, in fact.. Master Roy and Miss Artemis all called it a night, but Miss Koriand'r is always rather chatty as both of you boys know. She informed me that she was beginning to think something was going on between you and Master Roy. Also she and Miss Artemis had a bet on how long it would take the both of you. I hope you’ve told them, my boy, it seemed like a very serious bet. Miss Koriand’r asked me if I would approve of Master Jason and Master Roy being together,” Alfred chuckles, appreciating the mild confusion and amusement on both boys' faces. “She did not want Master Roy getting his hopes up if I did not approve.”

“Oh my god,” Jason groans, putting his face in his hands. He is only feeling a little surprised at Kori’s antics. She gets overly excited and on the odd occasion jumps to the completely wrong conclusion. Artemis is known for serially encouraging Kori even when it’s a bad idea, so maybe it’s no wonder his friend felt the need to ask his closest family member for their ‘approval’. Although the thought may be comforting, it doesn't stop it being any more mortifying in the present time. At least she’s really helped to sell their fake relationship as a real one.

“That’s amazing!” Dick laughs, holding his stomach. “Oh, Jay, this could only happen to you. I’ve gotta ask Kori who wins the bet.”

“I’ll change the locks to your apartment if you even think of doing that,” Jason threatens, groaning as he looks up at the pair at the table with him.

“Don’t worry, my boy. Not that you need it, but he definitely gets my approval.” Alfred gives Jason a pat on the shoulder as he stands and laughs to himself.

“I want to move to another country and change my name,” Jason complains once Dick finally stops finding Jason’s pain so fucking funny.

“Hey, that was not bad at all,” Dick comforts his brother, looking thoughtful. “I’m gonna have to corner Roy next.”

“I’m gonna remember this behaviour next time you date someone,” Jason threatens to Dick’s amusement.

“Go for it, Little Wing. I’d find the investment rather cute.”

Jason flips Dick off as he stands from his seat, deciding to call it a night and enjoy some sweet, blissful silence. Despite Jason’s complaints of being at the manor when he’s requested to be, it will always hold a little bit of comfort for him. This was the place a little street rat learned, even if it was for the briefest time, what it was like to be wanted. Nothing in the manor has changed besides the family photographs at the front door increasing every year and with each new addition, and the contents of the bedrooms. Everything else remains decorationally untouched and as polished as ever.

Jason will forever be thankful for Alfred clearing out his old bedroom without telling Bruce. That Alfred didn’t see the point of making the room a mournful display of a young boy long gone. Jason understands Bruce’s feelings, he even feels it himself sometimes, but Jason had hated the visual reminder that who he had been was dead and gone. That who he was now may as well be an imposter. But Alfred has always been what Jason used to dream of in a parental figure; the man is the embodiment of putting the needs of his grandkids and son before himself. Sometimes it breaks all of their hearts, but there are times where they are thankful that Alfred is so unchanging in his devotion.

Jason makes his way to his room at the end of the hall and leaves the door ajar as he flops onto the bed. He finds a comfortable position to lie in and stares at the wall, regretting not asking Dick to get his phone. There’s no way he’s going back out to find another form of entertainment now, so he closes his eyes and lets his mind wander.

Jason doesn’t want to sound like he’s throwing a pity party and a half, but sometimes he wonders if he’ll ever be truly happy. He has his moments, of course he does. He has so many people and places that he loves and adores. But he sees so much sadness and grief it’s like a constant fog following him around. Working towards intangible goals seems pointless. He only has the time and commitment to protect the people he can and get rid of as many absolute assholes as possible. This is what Jason wonders: did his ability to regulate or understand his psyche wander away from him after the pit? Jason can’t understand why he’s physically incapable of changing. Why is he forever stuck in the same cycle of anger and regret and unable to see past it. Jason brings down everyone around him without even intending to. He’s become a black hole of his own and no matter how much he absorbs or tries to be something bright, he’ll never change and he’ll never stop sucking the joy and life out of the people he loves. However, selfishly, Jason yearns for someone to see his ugliest parts, his most revolting actions, and love him anyway.

Roy would never do that. Roy deserves better than that.

Jason will get over it. Whenever he thinks of Roy he has to pour the gasoline and light the match on it being anywhere near positive in nature. He has to rid himself of this and get this charade over with before he makes a serious mistake.

He hears Stephanie yell and Duke shout back. Tim chimes in with a voice crack that causes the room to laugh and Jason to let out a smile. He can be content like this, knowing they are happy. He does not have to be a part of it and dilute their amusement.

Jason doesn’t realise he has fallen asleep until he is roused by Roy knocking something over beside him and Tim leaning on the doorway.

“We’re playing monopoly in five minutes and Damian and Cass aren’t above literally dragging you.” Tim leans into the room to drop his voice. “Stephanie is the banker. I’m gonna slip Duke money I printed under the table. She is not winning again.”

“Alright, Timbo,” Jason laughs, still not fully awake but appreciating the amusing wake up call.

Tim nods and makes his way back down the hallway. Roy sits on the edge of the bed beside Alfred the Cat, who has made himself precariously comfortable near the edge of the bed. Roy pulls on his sleeve. “You gotta get up. They’ve been hyping up this game for the last half an hour.”

“Oh yeah, it’s really competitive. The same intensity as nuclear war.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

“I’ll just watch this one. I won the last one anyways,” Jason yawns, tentatively stretching his arms out, feeling satisfied at the crack his shoulders make.

“Really it’s on you and Damian for it being so competitive. I know all about you and your monopoly tactics,” Roy laughs, rubbing the small of Jason’s back.

Jason smiles at the familiar sound, properly looking at Roy now. The archer has forgotten his hat and has been given a green headband that Jason is sure was Babs’. It was covered in animal fur, smelling distinctly like Ace combined with falling into wet grass. Jason will always think Roy radiates like the sun. Whether it be comfort or humour, he shines in a way that only the most beautiful person can. Although, Jason supposes everyone has a different beautiful person to pine and root for.

Jason is snapped out of his staring by Roy standing and pulling at Jason’s arms gently. “C’mon, you oaf.”

“You’re hardly youthful. If I’m an oaf you’re a fossil.”

Roy just rolls his eyes as Jason stands up, allowing the bat another stretch before they make their way into the hallway. “I was thinking we could do something this weekend. Give you something to tell Leslie and maybe you’ll be free to lone wolf it.”

Jason stops walking, narrowing his eyes at the back of Roy’s head. The archer turns around and raises an eyebrow. “You know I miss you and Kori. Sometimes it’s just easier to be alone for the job. I don’t want you thinking I don’t care.

Roy nods, throwing his arm around Jason’s shoulders. “Sorry, I shouldn't have joked ‘bout that. This is gonna sound mega nerdy-“

“Nerdier than you basically being an engineer and hanging out on a spaceship?”

“I swear to-“

“Sorry, sorry, Sweetie. Carry on.”

Roy tilts his head a little to smile at Jason. “As I was saying, you arse, it sounds nerdy but how do you feel about me and you hitting the road this weekend? There’s a drive-thru movie theatre just outside of Star City and there’s this weird space thing I wanna drag you to that’s about-“

“Yeah, sure.”

Roy stops half way down the stairs, his sales pitch gone up in flames. Jason walks a couple more steps before turning around to face the archer. “Really?”

Jason shrugs, gently kicking the stair for lack of anything else to do or look at. “Sure, it’ll be fun. We have to go to that petting zoo we drove by that one time too though. The one with the hedgehog on its logo?”

Roy squints at Jason for a moment before smiling and resuming their walk. “Yes, you big kid. There’s also that cute little carnival at Metropolis. We should check it out.”

Jason smiles and nods. He is selfish. He cannot fight his greed. But he will carry guilt for his choices, if that abolishes any of the sin they create.

Roy is happy to see Jason so relaxed for a change. They’re at the last stop of the weekend, an observatory surrounded by absolutely nothing. Everything is quiet. They parked the car a half an hour walk away and decided to lie in the field, enjoying the view of so many stars without the threat of a crisis. It’s a warm night. The observatory public opening doesn’t start until the next evening. They’ll most likely go to the town nearby in a couple of hours. But, for now, it’s nice to enjoy the stillness, like all of time has stopped and the moment will last forever. Roy would be happy with that.

His relationship with Jason has changed lately. He isn’t sure if it’s because of this arrangement they have or something else entirely. Although, when Roy thinks about it, ‘something else entirely’ could be the amount of people that knew Roy’s feeling and have let it slip. Roy hadn’t realised he was that obvious. It wouldn’t be so mortifying if it hadn’t been Alfred and Dick letting his sort-of secret slip.

Jason is looking from a star map to the sky. He’s not yet shared what he’s trying to look for or memorise but Roy’s used to Jason and his knack for learning things he’ll probably never need to use. Although that’s been proven wrong on the odd occasion.

Roy has known Jason a long time now, but he’s only been close with him for the last three years since the Outlaws started. Roy has been in love with Jason for at least half of that time and pretty content with it. His vigilante partner will always be what Kori tells him is a soulmate. Jason is someone that doesn’t lack in the same things Roy does and Roy doesn’t lack the same as Jason. They’ve suffered in opposing ways; they complete each other. Even when they don’t understand each other, they’re still loyal to one another. Roy would kill and die for Jason and Roy knows Jason is the one person that would do the same for him.

That being said, Jason has always been highly strung. For the entirety of Roy knowing him, he’s been a walking advertisement for always being doubtful and suspicious towards everyone around him. Jason fights even when he doesn’t have to. Jason fights other people’s fights when he doesn’t have to. Oliver still hasn’t recovered from his slight fear of Jason calling him after Jason had to defend Roy and his addiction to the man.

So, yeah, he has a lot of respect for the guy he wants to smooch, sue him.

Roy would be happier about his partner’s sudden docile nature if I didn’t give the distinct air of something final. Roy isn’t sure if it’s cruel to always be expecting, or at least entertaining the idea that Jason will turn around and bite. Or, alternatively, that his friend is constantly on the verge of fleeing. Roy supposes every person has a mixture of fight or flight in them, Jason just does it in extremes.

Which makes sense, Roy mentally chides himself, they are vigilantes.

“If we get you a white lab-coat and a clipboard you could totally blend in with the scientist predicting the apocalypse.” Jason comments into the silence. Roy has the decency to hold in his laugh for a second before cackling.

“Like that guy in the musical Grant loves? With the big song and the big grey hair wig?” Roy questions, willing to entertain the idea.

“‘The Guy Who Doesn’t Like Musicals’,” Jason corrects matter-of-factly. “And, yes, that guy. I guarantee you would fall in love with an Alexa.”

Roy scoffs, rolling onto his side just to give Jason a shove, “not a basic-ass Alexa, Jay! At least something cool, like a transformer.”

Jason raises an eyebrow, looking dumbfounded and mildly judgemental. “I really shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

Roy just grins, probably looking much too pleased with himself, he settles his arm under his head and looks at his partner. “You’re looking awfully serious for someone who's such an idiot,” the archer teases.

“You say idiocy, I say absolute smartass-ery.”

“Aw, you’re cute when you're unimpressed.”

“You’re pretty when you don’t look like a smug fucker.”

“Aw, you think I'm pretty?”

Jason huffs and rolls his eyes in response, looking back to his unfolded map which is dog-eared on all corners. Moments pass by in silence again as Jason studies the sky, scrutinising it before looking back to the paper. “I think this is at least five years out of date.”

“You’ve been to space, so does it really matter?”

“That’s like saying because I’ve eaten a cake I can’t point out a dud recipe.”

Roy pauses for a moment, thinking, “You’re… actually right with the comparison for a change.”

Jason just rolls his eyes in response, holding up the map into a little square again and pocketing it. “By the way, did Dick tell you about Kori and Artemis’ bet?”

“Just yesterday, actually. He asked if I wanted to bet on who won the bet.” Roy chuckled, running a hand through his hair.

“What a paradox he’ll be getting himself into.” Jason rolled his eyes, picking at the grass beside them.

“You’re not gonna like me,” Roy replies timidly.

Jason raises an eyebrow, “which means what exactly?”

“I told him I could never bet on Artemis for anything.”

“And that’s bad because..?”

“I told him about how you two were a thing.” Roy trailed off, unprepared for the look of confusion he gets from Jason.

“We weren’t a thing?”

Roy gawped at his fake-boyfriend, “you literally kissed after one of our missions!”

“We weren’t together, Roy! Oh my god!” Jason honest-to-god cackles at the look on Roy’s face, “you are priceless! Artemis is a lesbian and I am gay, Roy. I love her, but god, ew, not like that. It was an experimental thing.”

Roy studies his partner for a moment, Jason doesn’t hide his amusement as he waits for Roy to reach his conclusion. “You’re not joking?”

“Roy, honey, you’ve met Artemis. If we had been anything serious don’t you think it would’ve ended in some sorta bloodshed?” Jason rolls his eyes, leaning on one arm to get a better look at Roy. “You seriously thought that? Oh my god.”

“It was a reasonable assumption.” Roy muttered, crossing his arms despite the smile taking over his face.

“And what does Batsie and Queenie always say?” Jason sing-songs, elbowing Roy playfully.

“Don’t assume, I know, I know. Get lost, you arse.” Roy retorted, sitting up to face Jason.

They sit in front of each other, both staring at the other for any sign of something, anything at all. Roy feels something in the air change, the new information he has truly sinking in. Now there was only one thing keeping him from what he really desires to do.

And it all depends on what another person wants, how scary is that?

Chapter Text

The routine over the next few weeks is an easy one. A week ago Jason put on the Red Hood again and spent a full day and night rearranging his operations and weeding out any dealers that had snuck their way in during his absence. Arsenal had done a good job at keeping the people safe, but for Crime Alley to be protected it required a lot more work than one would initially think, especially where resources are concerned, and especially when Jason refuses any Wayne help on the matter. Any Wayne assistance would be the wrong kind.

Jason only sees Leslie in passing over the fortnight when he does his evening drop-offs to the clinic. Jason is back in his apartment with Roy, his still temporary housemate slash sort of friend with a couple of benefits slash fake boyfriend. The line has been getting blurrier with each passing day.

But that’s what happens when you live together.

Right?

So, professionally Jason is doing better after his small break. He’s not at all saddened to find out through the grapevine that Egon was killed in his cell with tell-tale league methods. An unorthodox method of showing love as it may be, Jason is touched Talia concerned herself with a small fry. Jason visited the small field in which Farrah and Jess had buried Gemma’s ashes, accompanied by the pair to pay his respects in stilted silence and a promise of protecting them better. The kids begin returning to the warehouse. Erin goes as far as to sneak up a fire escape and wait for the Red Hood to be near when she starts screaming his name, all so that she could give him a small hug and a thank you that broke Jason’s heart. Finn joined the small girl at the entrance and over the course of the week Jason began seeing the other familiar kids coming and going.

Then there’s the matter of his personal life and the fact that it manages to be stranger than his vigilante nightlife. Jason has visited the past two weekends in the same manner as Dick visiting from Bludhaven, Roy in tow every time. Nothing has largely changed, he and Steph finished a movie series they’d started, he bakes with Alfred with Cass permitted to hover around their shoulders watching. Roy makes his appearances with Jason regularly, breaking off from his partner whenever he’s pulled into another conversation, usually by Tim or Duke. Bruce has invited Selina over for the last family dinner and the combination of her and Roy had both Jason and Bruce looking at each other in embarrassment and amusement in a way that almost resembled… normal.

It’s a Thursday, Jason has just finished up patrol and turned off his comms for the night. Roy had gone with Tim to a Wayne Tech Lab about something for a case Tim was working on that Roy had become interested in. So for the first time in over a month, Jason can get to the shower first. Oh, little victories.

He takes his time, letting the scalding water soothe his muscles. Once he’s satisfied he cuts the water again, dries off and throws on some joggers. He steps out of the bathroom, humming a made-up tune when he gets the fright of his life in the form of a fully grown, built-ass man in his living room who has never been there before. By which he means, Bruce Wayne is visiting him in his apartment. Right now. Outside of costume, with no case files in hand, or holding anything that could hint to what the visit was about.

Bruce, to his credit, isn’t visibly fazed by Jason’s flinch of surprise. His stance is forcibly casual, both hands resting against his legs like he’s about to beckon a dog, like he’s trying to appear friendly.

“Hey, Bruce. Did ya’… need something?” Jason questions cautiously, walking towards the couch and motioning for Bruce to sit opposite him with a wave of his hand.

Bruce happily takes the invitation for a seat, keeping his hands glued to his thighs as he sits down stiffly beside his son. “No. I didn’t.”

Jason hums and raises an eyebrow, scanning Bruce’s face for any evidence of what he could have possibly done to provoke a personal visit from the big man himself.

They stare at each other in silence for a beat, both searching for something in the other's body language. Jason can’t decipher anything about the situation, Bruce and him have been alright recently, distant as always, but friendly, keeping their interactions on patrol to a minimum. For all intents and purposes Jason thought they’d been alright.

But, he’s been wrong before.

Jason makes a ‘carry on’ motion with his hand. “So, what are you here for?”

Bruce shrugs stiffly, like the action itself is unfamiliar, raising an eyebrow. “I… I haven’t been to your apartment, ever. When Dick moved out I made sure it was a good place. He wasn’t as vigilant as you are yet, I could keep an eye on him no matter what terms we were on. I never got to do that for you.”

Jason shifts uncomfortably at the comparison. “Well, it’s a little late ain’t it? I live here and I work in the worst parts of the alley, so it wouldn’t make a difference really would it? Besides, Aflie’s been by here a few times. Alfred always had the courtesy to knock first though.”

Bruce’s mouth falls into a grim line as Jason speaks. “I hope that being late means something, I hope it’s better than if I hadn’t at all.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Where is this coming from? You’re a decent enough guy to the others, Bruce, but small olive branches of goodwill have never been your thing.”

Jason recognises it as the wrong thing to say when Bruce’s eyebrows immediately furrow and his jaw goes taunt. Jason doesn’t have it in him to feel guilty, if Bruce wanted a more emotionally tactful kid he should’ve tried it himself; pot meets kettle and all that.

Bruce ponders for a moment before replying, “I never properly apologised for what happened when you first returned from the pit. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix it, but if I could I would. I was so short sighted and I hate myself for missing the opportunity to see you grow up and become an adult.”

Jason could laugh, could find it so funny he’d cry for hours, because of course Bruce isn’t here through any form of care or fondness. The man operates purely on guilt and warped righteousness, fueled by his self-loathing. But god he had been good at making himself seem like he cared.

Instead, Jason stands, looking down at his ex-mentor. “Save this for a time when I’m at the manor. I don’t want you stinking my apartment up with your regret and misplaced guilt.”

To Bruce’s credit, he does cringe. “Please sit, Jason. We need to talk about this.”

Jason is quite prepared for Bruce to laugh just as he is, to tell Jason that he’s taking the piss, but he just stares. It’s rather unsettling. “We’re going to talk about it just because you’re ready to? Because you’re finally tired of wasting emotion on your charity case?”

Bruce frowns. “Jaylad, it isn’t–”

Jason sits back across from Bruce with a hard thump and clasps his hands together with a hysterical smile. “No, let's talk now! You wanna psychoanalyse each other, I’ll happily do it! You’re just like Sheila, acting like you care just to gain something from the violent and oh-so-pitiful street-rat... For all of Catherine and Talia’s faults, they cared. They loved me and they made mistakes but they still tried and they knew their flaws and their fuck-ups. That’s something you never did, Bruce. You buried me beside the woman who sold me out. You never bothered to investigate why I was in that warehouse that night. You assumed I was violent and stupid and that was the reason I was killed. And I know I was wrong and all kinds a’ fucked up when I came back from the pit, but don’t look down on me like you were any better. Don’t pretend that you slit my throat to save Gotham when we both know you did it to save yourself.”

Bruce keeps his mouth in a firm line as Jason heaves in a breath, his gaze immediately shooting up to Jason’s face when his second son’s voice cracks.

“And the worst part? I forgive you just like I forgave Sheila. Your kid came back wrong and the only way to fix the situation was to put me back where I belong, right?”

Bruce’s expression crumples, desperate to have his son safe in his arms, pretending that the history between them wouldn’t crawl under their skin until they couldn’t stand each other anymore. “No, Jason, I would never do that to you. I know you’ll never believe it, chum, but I made a huge mistake. The understatement of the decade, I know. I was scared, not of you, but of you dying and your last actions being for vengeance instead of something that would make you genuinely happy. I panicked and my aim faltered.”

Jason scoffs, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “Yet you still left me in the rubble.”

Bruce has the decency to look ashamed, hunching into himself even more and staring at his hands. “Whenever adults have hurt you, you’ve picked yourself back up again, stronger and better than them. I selfishly thought that if I brought you with me, you’d hate me even more. In the heat of the moment I convinced myself that you were as safe as you could be because you’re smarter than anyone else I’ve ever known.”

Before Jason can formulate a response the apartment door creaks open on its permanently rusty hinges and both Jason and Bruce whip their heads around to look at the entrance. If Jason had been Dick or if Bruce had been Talia maybe a laugh would’ve been shared at the shared instincts, but the two vigilante’s sit in silence when they see Alfred at the doorway with Roy standing beside the older man. Both were carrying a weird amount of tupperware and Roy’s keys were still hanging on the door. Alfred’s face is concerned with underlying anger and Roy has a pinched look, like he swallowed a lemon and couldn’t decide if it was sour or not.

Both pairs regard each other in silence, not sure who is weirder for being in their current situation. Alfred walks into the apartment with Roy following behind. Roy takes what Alfred was holding and brings it in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd sitting together on a fairly ratty couch. Neither of them look at each other or Alfred Pennyworth, who everyone knows is the real ‘man of the house’ as the saying goes. A very sweet, very grandfatherly man, but still more authoritative than the whole family combined when he wants to be.

“Master Bruce, what are you doing here?” Alfred questions, one eyebrow raised as he looks at Bruce.

Bruce opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. Alfred waits patiently while Bruce lets out a long sigh and looks between the butler and his son. “Maybe it was wrong of me, but you’ve never explicitly said I wasn’t welcome here, Jay. So I thought I’d take my chances, try to start fixing things.”

Alfred appraises his charge with a firm frown. “The car is a street away, Master Bruce. I’m sure you will have no trouble locating it.”

Bruce looks between the pair again silently nodding and standing. He hovers over Jason for a moment, but sensing his son's unease he makes his way to the door. “Have a good night, Jaylad.”

Jason nods dumbly, his gaze now darting up to his grandfather, his mouth open in minor shock. “Did ya’ need anything, Alf? I can make some tea.”

Jason moves to stand but stops when he sees Roy doing a balancing act with three cups of tea that he definitely learnt from ‘Waitress’, which is also laughably impractical. Both Jason and Alfred dart forward to pluck a cup out of Roy’s hands, the latter laughing at the concern on the pair’s faces.

They swap mugs around until everyone has the right one and Jason sits back on his seat Roy takes his usual night time perch on the windowsill. Alfred smiles at his grandson. “I hope it’s quite alright if I sit beside you, my boy?”

Jason would roll his eyes if it was anyone but Alfred. “‘Course, Alfie.” As Alfred settles both Gothamites turn in unison and thank Roy for the tea. The archer finds the mannerisms laughably adorable side by side.

“Master Roy finished early with his assistance to young Master Timothy. I had planned to cook some meals for you two. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the amount of containers with my name gathering in the fridge! Before his return Master Roy decided to lend me a hand. Apologies for keeping your partner late, my boy.” Alfred explains, giving Jason a pat on the shoulder.

“Alfie, I don’t even let him think of cooking in my kitchen,” Jason admonishes.

“Don’t worry, I only cut vegetables,” the redhead says meekly, lighting up when Alfred turns and gives him a soft smile and a pat on the arm.

“Believe me, Master Roy, your food preparation was much better than most of our family’s.”

Jason huffs out a laugh at that, warmed by the way Roy interacts with Jason’s favourite family member.

Jason wonders how someone as downright marvellous as Alfred exists, how one man can have so much patience and love. Alfred has never changed as long as Jason has known him. Back when Dick had first left the manor and Bruce and his eldest were icy and stubborn, Alfred never let that shackle or affect his relationship with either man. Jason hadn’t known Catherine or Willis’ parents, he suspects they died long before he was Robin, but he never felt the need to search like he did with Bruce and Sheila because Alfred was irreplaceable.

Alfred is the person Jason loves most in the world. They are family not by blood, but by trust and fate bringing them together. Jason doesn’t believe in fate, not with all the multiverses out there, but he knows that it is an eventuality that he always meets Alfred and he never regrets it.

-

Alfred leaves around the early hours of the morning, something unusual but also normal for their lives.

Roy sits down on the sofa, dishes dried and put away, turning the volume up a little on the random channel Jason had already put on the TV. It’s strange, Jason used to be able to sit in silence so easily, but since Roy started staying with him, when the redhead isn’t there he feels the need for background noise. The silence of being alone has become somewhat alien to Jason now. Jason sits down beside his partner, letting the quiet settle between them.

Roy puts an arm around Jason’s shoulders and leans his head against his. “So, Bruce is responsible for the only scar you wouldn’t tell me about? Jay, what happened?”

“How much did you hear?”

“Too much by your standards and not enough by mine.”

Jason leans into the touch, trying to grab hold of the fleeting comfort and force it to stay with him. He lets out a sigh. “It was my fault. I gave Bruce a choice. He didn’t choose me. Not that complicated or exciting.”

Roy hummed, drawing circles on his partner's shoulder as he prompted him on. “Gave Bruce a choice of what, Jay?”

“When I came back to Gotham after being in the League, well, you know, I was more brutal about everything, much more angry about everything despite Talia’s comfort. I captured the Joker and really I should’ve killed him then and there, but I lured Bruce to where I had left the Joker and let him see the bomb I’d rigged. I gave Bruce a gun and held my own to the Joker’s head and told Bruce to choose. He could either shoot the Joker and let it end, or I would and he’d have to shoot me to stop me. Bruce had to be himself about it through and through the batarang instead. The building exploded. I made sure no civilians were around beforehand and Bruce had taken the Joker away before the explosion. I was alone in the rubble until Talia found me and dug me out,” Jason said, shrugging and crossing his arms over his chest, feeling Roy stiffen beside him.

It’s grievous really, having to explain to another person that the people who are meant to want you simply don’t. That maybe you’re the problem if you’re the only common denominator.

Roy intertwines his fingers with Jason’s, giving his hand a squeeze as reality settles around them. Roy rubs his thumb over Jason’s knuckles, the quiet feels natural for once, what is there to say really?

“I know it doesn’t mean the same, but if you gave me that choice I’d kill the Joker ten times over, maybe throw a batarang at Bruce and make it a two for one deal. And I don’t think I’m the only one that feels that way, Jay. Bruce is just a stubborn asshole and no insult I can throw at him will ever cover the extent of it,” Roy speaks lowly, conscious of the fact that the very lovely grandfather-figure is in the next room.

Jason smiles at Roy, giving him a pat on the shoulder that reminds Roy that Jason is used to being the scapegoat. His partner is the only person to try and make Crime Alley a better place. The only one to see the reality of what it takes to fix some things. Jason had told Bizarro once that he chose to get his hands dirty and that they’d never be clean again, so he might as well go all the way.

That would never make Jason a bad person. Not to Roy at least. Wars have been waged and fought over less. The soldiers of those celebrated in the way Jason should be. His partner actually has a cause to fight for.

“I’d kill for you too, man. Hope ‘ya know that.” Jason smiles, trying to get rid of the image of Gemma in his head. “Don’t be all weird now that you know or you’ll be getting hit over the head with one of my old pans.”

Roy laughs softly, shaking his head. “I’m not gonna be weird. But I am gonna care.”

Jason grimaces, making Roy snort at his dramatic expression. “You can’t just say that!”

“The Red Hood, keeled over due to being loved,” Roy says in his best commentator voice, holding his phone like a microphone and aiming it at Jason, “Civilian Number Nineteen, what are your thoughts on this?”

Jason rolls his eyes. “I think it’s a real shame his partner went and did that so openly! The horror.”

“Can we take a detour back to me getting hit by an old pan? Am I not worth a newer one?” Roy sulks, crossing his arms and looking at Jason through the corner of his eye.

“Do you really want to question if I like you or the grey frying pan more?” Jason raises an eyebrow teasingly, giving Roy a light elbow to his side.

Roy just ruffles his partners hair in response as they lapse back into companionable silence.

Jason could get used to this.

-

“Don’t laugh.”

“I already said I wouldn’t. Dead Robins’ honour!”

“Then stop smiling like that!”

“This is just my face, asshole!”

Jason puts his head in his hands, ignoring Stephanie bouncing a throw cushion off of his head.

Stephanie takes Jason’s hands and starts moving them dramatically. “Jason needs my help!” she says in a shrill baby voice that has Jason ready to go fishing for the abandoned throw cushion.

“Shut up,” Jason mutters, shaking Stephanie off and crossing his arms.

Stephanie shuffles closer to her brother and relaxes into the couch. “Whose body are we hiding?”

This earns a snort from Jason. “If only it were that simple, blondie.”

“Well I’m not very good at much else.”

“Oh, cut that shit out, ‘Miss Nurse In Training’. Please gain an ego boost and I’ll allow it just this once.”

Stephanie smiles and rests her head on Jason’s shoulder, giving him a soft punch in the arm. “Aw shucks, you do care.”

Jason rests his head on top of hers and rolls his eyes, unbothered by her lack of ability to see it. She knows him well enough now to expect it. “Always will. How are classes and civvie life anyways?”

Stephanie shrugs. “It’s fine. Classes remind me I am but merely mortal and my civvie life consists of people who are vigilantes or are connected to them so there’s hardly a difference.” She feels Jason chuckle, his shoulder moving her head, before she continues. “Really though, what’s wrong? This is so rare I might put it in my calendar.”

“Make it a national holiday and it can be on everyone’s calendar,” Jason reasons, delighted by the long sigh Stephanie lets out. They sit in silence for a minute, Jason waiting for Stephanie to start a new conversation, and Stephanie waiting for Jason to just fucking spit it out. “It’s about Roy.”

“Oh yes, my in-law through a pseudo family, what about him?” Stephanie asks.

“Are you really gonna make me say it, Blondie?”

“I literally have no clue what you’re talking about, Cruella.”

“Karen Smith.”

“Is Frankenstein a low blow?”

“First of all it’s Frankenstein’s monster you’re referring to, and I’d call us even if I get to call you Sue Sylvester.”

“Oh, double fuck off, smartass.”

“Stop whining!”

“Can you please tell me what your constipated ass is tryna say?!” Stephanie scolds, moving to face Jason as she crosses her arms, decidedly halfway offended.

Jason sarcastically soothes her by patting her shoulder, dodging a smack to the face easily. “I don’t want Roy to leave when I’ve still got something I wanna tell him.”

Stephanie frowns, leaning her head on her hand. “What are you talking about? He doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere in a hurry and you’re a pretty ballsy fucker, why the sudden worry?”

Jason shrugs. “He’ll end up leaving eventually, and I’m not sure I ever wanna tell him so I’m fucked either way.”

“The only thing he’ll leave for is a day trip to water his apartment plants, you fucking quack. What’s so bad you can’t tell him? Did you use his toothbrush? Accidentally throw out his favourite pair of underwear?” Stephanie wiggles her fingers in a faux spooky manner, earning another eye roll.

“Me and Roy aren’t really dating,” Jason confesses.

“Are you sure?” Stephanie questions, incredulous.

Jason pinches the bridge of his nose exasperated. “Of course I’m sure! How is that your first question?!”

“Well it’s the most logical one! Forget that anyways, start from the beginning.”

“There isn’t really a beginning because the whole story is a sentence. I asked Roy to stick around awhile to get you guys and Leslie off my back and Roy offered to pretend to date. The end.”

Stephanie presses her lips together and looks to the side, holding in laughter. “Oh my god.”

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!”

“That was before you handed me the plot of Netflix’s next romcom!” Stephanie wheezes, slapping her leg as she lets her laugh out, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

“Listen, it's normal enough, stop judging!” Jason crosses his arms over his chest and huffs, “You’re not helping.”

Stephanie wipes at her eyes. “What’s there to help? You like him. He clearly likes you. I actually don’t know what advice you need here.”

“You know what pretend means right?”

“Oh, Jason, you sweet summer child–”

“I mean August is more like Autumn,” Jason mutters.

“Besides the point. You cannot be this dense, Jay, oh god.” Stephanie runs her hands over her face.

“Why do I bother talking to you?”

“I have something you lack, I was gifted with common sense.”

“I swear to god–”

“I can see why you didn’t ask someone else, namely our Cassonova…”

“Shut up.”

—————-

Jason scowls and swears at Stephanie when they pass her on patrol that night. Roy lets out a bark of a laugh and places a hand on Jason’s back.

“What is up with you two?” the archer questions.

“Nothing,” Jason mutters, leaning over the rooftop edge.

“Did she call you names again?”

“I’m going to start calling you names,” Jason retorts, looking at the archer over his shoulder.

“Will you call me yours?” Roy fake swoons, kneeling beside Jason as the Gothamite points at a tall man with a cap and hood, hunched over something they couldn’t see.

“I’ll call you a pain in my ass.” Jason rolls his eyes, jumping to the next roof.

“I’ll go gentle on you, honey.” Roy smirks at Jason’s unimpressed look.

Both vigilantes stiffen when they hear Oracle laughing through their comms. “I don’t know if I should beg you to remember I can hear or just leave you to it,” she states, mirth clear in her voice.

“Yeah, Harper, keep whatever’s in those pants pg13,” Jason taunts, vaulting over an awkwardly placed steel vent.

Roy follows suit. “How impressed would you be if I pulled bunnies out of my pants rather than my hat?”

“Extremely,” Barbara replies, her interest drifting.

Jason ignores the question, smiling to himself when Roy is faux offended and yelling after him.

-

“Black Mask’s men were seen breaking Killer Croc and Nygma out of Arkham.”

“Do you ever consider moving?” Roy questions, double checking the arrows in his quiver. The pair had just finished taking down Penguin’s latest batch of goons to invade Crime Alley. Roy considers this to be a very fair question.

“But then who and what would have me fighting for my life at least once a week?” Jason rolls his eyes, reloading his guns. He turns to the archer. “Ready to go?”

“Onwards and upwards,” Roy sighs, patting Jason’s shoulder as he hops onto the next roof. He looks over his shoulder to make sure Jason is following before breaking into a sprint.

Jason grins and follows after his partner. Sometimes Gotham is downright dire and depressing, but having Roy here makes it so much brighter.

They reach the other bats in record time and stroll in mid debate that seems much more like an argument by the looks on the others’ faces. Instead of Dick butting heads with Bruce, it is Tim gripping his staff with a vice grip staring defiantly at the Batman.

“The three of them have never worked together before. We are better off targeting them separately.” Bruce’s tone leaves no room for argument, but he’d mentored everyone in their little vigilante family and should lower his expectations in Jason’s opinion.

“If we can get them all in the one place then we can work together to apprehend them! Doing it this way would mean less risk of civilians getting caught up in the fighting and we can assist each other. The rogues are getting too creative at taking us out, B. This solo shit isn’t gonna cut it!” Tim pinches the bridge of his nose, his posture tense. Jason recognises this argument. It’s the same one Barbara gives from her station as Oracle at least once a week.

“We have no reason to believe they’ve got something up their sleeves, Red Robin. We will pair off, just as we always do. Go on comms if you see any of them and we will converge on that location.” The Batman turns his back, preparing his grappling gun. “Everyone stay safe.”

Robin huffs as he follows after his mentor, a silent agreement to Red Robin’s argument that he’ll never admit to. He locks eyes with Jason and gives him a nod as he grapples after his mentor. The rest of the group begin to break off. Duke and Cassandra take the Industrial District, and Dick and Tim take Amusement Mile. The odd number means Stephanie is with Jason and Roy to patrol around the Bowery. The trio grapple their way silently through Gotham proper, listening out for any yells or shouts of distress along the way. The city is foggy. Like it is every time Arkham has a breakout. Like the Rogues are in cahoots with the weather.

“We’re lucky we caught it earlier this time,” Spoiler comments as they round the corner to the Bowery, remembering the last Arkham breakout with Scarecrow, Two-Face and Mad Hatter that ended with fourteen casualties and half of the bat vigilantes out of commission for at least a week.

“I’d love it if you didn’t jinx us,” Jason replies, turning his visor scanner on. Roy was close behind him. The archer was always more on edge on nights like these, and no matter what Jason says Roy refuses to stay home or in the quieter parts of the alley.

“I hate being on Bowery duty. We always end up in the sewers sooner or later,” Spoiler complains, ignoring Jason’s response and surveying the area around them.

Arsenal nudges Jason in the side. “Look over there.”

Jason follows where his partner is pointing, Spoiler coming up behind them to see what they’re staring at. There is a big graffiti question mark on the side of an apartment block, the paint fresh enough to still be dripping. The trio exchange looks before making their way to the defaced building, searching the trash-ridden street for any more clues but coming up empty. Jason and Spoiler, depressingly used to this game, grapple and stick beside the question mark. From this vantage point they can spot a much bigger question mark at least a mile away.

Jason turns to Spoiler. “If we keep following this trail we’ll end up outside of the Bowery. Riddler could be trying to lead us away if Croc is here.”

Spoiler nods, hand going to her ear to resume her comms and relay the information to Barbara. Jason slides down the wall to rejoin an uneasy Arsenal looking left and right at the streets adjoining them. “You can stick to higher ground. I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

Arsenal shakes his head. “It’s fine. Besides, Spoiler made it sound like we’re gonna be getting cosy with the ninja turtles and I wouldn't wanna miss that.”

Spoiler lands beside the pair. “Black Bat and Signal are on that trail. Now, Red Robin annoys me as much as the next guy, but he has a point. We need to update our flexibility on how we do this.”

“Batman will have to listen eventually, right?” Arsenal raises an eyebrow, nonplussed by the dubious look the bat vigilantes share.

“To the sewers, Maestro?” Jason questions, taking a little bit of Joy in Spoilers audible groan. “Listen, Purple, we’re both street rats. Should be used ta’ it.”

Spoiler scowls at him before making her way ahead of him. “Exactly. We’ve already spent too much time in the dumps.”

Jason doesn’t find it in himself to refute that, so he follows after her silently. He keeps an eye on Arsenal as they make progress towards the comically large mouth of the sewers that leads into an even more depressing dirty little river.

“Engaging with Zsasz,” Nightwing’s voice comes clear through, his voice sounding bored rather than worried, a small comfort that squashes any nerves he’d have for the older bat.

“Is there a smallfry convention? Why weren’t we invited, Hood?” Spoiler ponders sarcastically, scowling as she lands in a particularly mushy patch, kicking her boot against the concrete base.

“We can beat them out for being so rude,” Jason laughs, taking the lead on their way in, checking the ground for any prints.

Arsenal scoffs at the pair and their self-pitying humour, slightly entertained. He sticks beside Spoiler. “Every time I go into this city I see a new issue.”

“Gotham, the shithole that keeps giving!” Spoiler responds, giving Arsenal a pat on the shoulder.

Jason coos, “But it’s our shithole.” Ignoring Spoilers' sarcastic response, he waits for her torchlight to graze the ground in front of him. The outline of a dinosaur-like footprint is etched in front of them. The trio collectively freeze, straining to hear any unusual sounds in the silence. Arsenal points to the small button on his goggles and Spoiler nods. The sound of the distress signal plays through their comms with a high pitched squeal. High pitched enough that it echoes through the narrow tunnels. Arsenal has his hands around Jason and Spoiler’s wrists, pulling them abruptly out of the way as Killer Croc comes surging forward.

“Bats shouldn’t be stuck in enclosed spaces.” The unnatural click to the rogue’s voice is unfamiliar to the Gothamites after the mobster’s long stint in Arkham. He sizes the trio up, visibly rearranging plans in his head.

Jason doesn’t wait for the mobster to come to a conclusion. Croc wasn’t exactly wrong, they were at an immediate disadvantage and out of touch with fighting in the tunnels, if Arsenal had ever been used to that kinda shit in the first place. The others must’ve had the same sentiments, Roy’s hand going to the arrows in his quiver and Spoiler reaching for her batarangs. Jason, ever the champion of impulsiveness, has his dagger in hand and puts his full strength into dragging it across the back of the rogue’s knees. Croc, not a particular fan of being stabbed, Jason can appreciate the common sense, turns and lunges, grazing Jason's arm as a batarang and explosive arrow hit the back of Croc’s neck.

Using an explosive in their narrow tunnel predicament had its repercussions, however, as smoke surrounded them. Jason hears the click of what must be Spoiler turning her visor on and the squelch of flesh as she removes Jason’s dagger from the Croc’s leg. She yells, using the opportunity to burrow it into the Croc’s back, ready to drag the weapon down the rogue’s back.

“Spoiler!” Jason shouts as the Croc makes to bang his back against the wall. Spoiler dislodges herself, but she can’t retract her right-hand fast enough. There is a sickening crack when her hand is smashed against the wall with the Croc’s whole weight. Jason hasn’t felt resentment towards not having real bullets for a long time, but the rubber bullets would do absolutely nothing to the gigantic Rogue.

Arsenal takes another explosive arrow and aims it for Croc’s face. The resounding bang is their cue. Jason throws a batarang in Croc's direction, not particularly caring where it hits. The angrier the asshole is, the more distracted he'd be and then they could get Spoiler out of here with no more broken bones. Spoiler takes the lead, hurriedly taking two lefts and a right. Pressing up against the wall, the trio collectively holds their breaths when they hear the Croc’s snarling echo through the tunnels.

“How did I forget that you have a mutated man-crocodile here? This is more inconvenient than all space related shit combined,” Roy complains, accepting the dagger Jason offers him with a smile despite his complaints.

“Yeah, I imagine it also smelled much better,” Spoiler whispers, rolling her eyes.

“How’s the hand?” Arsenal questions, eyes drawn to Spoiler’s gloved hand.

“I’ll live.” Spoiler sighs and gives the archer a reassuring pat.

“At least one more bat should be here by now,” Jason grunts, irritation building. “We have to split up, there isn’t enough space to safely take Croc down if we keep together like this.”

“We still don’t know what their plan is. It’s not safe to split up either,” Arsenal argues.

“But Hood does have a point. Only one of us can get up close or it gets messy,” Spoiler responds.

“You’ve got a fucked hand. You need to get that wrapped soon and you can’t go on your own.”

“But you don’t have long range weapons on you. You’ve lost your only batarang, you stubborn underprepared ass!”

The argument stills when they hear the squelch of water being pushed into mud. Jason picks up a rock and prepares to throw. “You two stay here.”

“Hood–”

Jason doesn’t listen to any complaints as he knocks the rock off of the roof up ahead, going back the way they came and letting out a low whistle.

“Bats are always so noisy,” Croc growls behind him. Jason narrowly dodges and lands a harsh kick to Croc’s back. The rogue stumbles and Jason takes the chance to jump on Croc, wrapping his legs in a vice grip around the rogue’s neck and turning the safety off of his gun.

Bluffing is more important in vigilantism than one might initially think.

“You have two options, we apprehend you and you trail along like the unwanted reptile you are, or I blow your brains out. I honestly don’t mind either way, I’m sure you’ve heard about the infamous duffel bag,” Jason threatens, honestly thankful for his previous dramatics that earned him a name and pretty solid persuasion material.

Killer Croc sets up for the same trick he used with Spoiler, trying to shake Jason up before charging towards the wall. Jason drops just in time to be unscathed, but his relief is short-lived when Croc picks him up by the neck. Really, this night was always going to end horribly if the trio ran into Croc. Jason is a trained assassin, but Croc’s mutant strength and sheer muscle mass is hard to contend with. Arsenal and Jason had spent their time travelling the multiverse fighting other superheroes of very human stature and Spoiler’s scene was much more gun-filled. The trio were tacticians, but the enclosed space and slick ground have left them pretty damn close to helpless.

Croc’s claws dig into his arm as he tries to reach for a knife or gun, Croc’s beady eyes regarding Jason with disgusted contempt. Prick.

“You smell really bad, like out of date milk,” Jason sputters out, the grip on his neck tightening.

Croc roars, but before he can decide just what way he’d like to mutilate the Red Hood, he receives a green tinted arrow right in his ear hole. Jason would be impressed by the creativity when he could breathe a proper breath. Croc drops him with zero regard, his anger now directed towards a steadfast Arsenal.

“Must you taunt everyone you fight, Hood?” Arsenal sighs, taking in the situation.

Any further conversation is interrupted by Bat-Woman, one of Jason’s more favoured options in regards to rescuing them like they are damsels in distress. The other red-themed bat regards them both before pulling out a syringe from her utility belt and tossing it to Arsenal. The throw was definitely based more on sheer belief than any real physics, which makes Jason roll his eyes.

“Let’s dance, Spyro.” Bat-Woman takes Croc’s attention. She wraps an arm around Croc's neck and brings her knee up to collide with his face. Croc’s shock is evident as he stumbles and blindly grabs for Bat-Woman as she jumps back.

Arsenal is behind the Croc in an instant, the syringe burrowing into the Croc’s hip. Arsenal releases the syringe before jumping back, readying another arrow. Whatever Barbara’s been working on in her Clock Tower works, as Croc hits the ground like a sack of wet flour. Bat-Woman keeps her fighting stance as she brings her hand up to her comm link. “Croc’s down from the serum. He’s about 40 metres into the Bowery sewer tunnels. I’m with Spoiler, Arsenal and Hood.”

A grunt from Batman is all Katherine receives and she rolls her eyes dramatically. Roy gives Jason a hand up, the Gothamite applying pressure to the bleeding claw marks. Spoiler walks towards Katherine, explaining her very broken hand.

“I think that went well,” Jason commented.

“We’re literally covered in what could be shit right now.” Stephanie scowls. Jason understands the annoyance.

“You two have been skidding along the ground like figure skaters. I’m actually reasonably clean, all things considered.” Roy counters.

Katherine snorts and waits all of two minutes before jumping into a lecture.

The trio of younger vigilantes share a collective grin. Technically, mission accomplished.

-

After some convincing and promises to Alfred that left Katherine amused and Stephanie looking at her brother fondly and giving Jason and Roy a one armed hug, the female vigilantes bid them goodbye at Crime Alley.

Roy has barely opened his mouth when Jason interrupts him preemptively, “Let’s get cleaned up first. I’m not tracking shit into Leslie’s clinic.”

“We’re wrapping your shoulder before you shower then,” Roy responds, jumping down the fire escape to Jason’s apartment block.

“Alright, mom.” Jason rolls his eyes, hitting Roy on the shoulder when the archer attempts to get in through his window. The Gothamite dangles the keys in front of the archer with emphasis and a roll of his eyes.

Roy laughs but follows Jason in the normal way, following his partner to the bathroom and beginning to raid through his medical cupboards.

“I’ve got it, Harper. I can do it,” Jason chastises, turning the hot water on at the sink and grabbing the disinfectant.

“You don't have to,” Roy replies simply as he takes a cotton pad and dips it into the disinfectant and water. Jason watches him silently.

It takes ten minutes for Roy to be satisfied with his job and begin wrapping the bandage. Jason feels a twinge of something akin to uncomfortable at the care Roy is taking.

He has to ask the question that’s lingered in his mind for days now.

“Why are you still in Gotham?” Jason asks quietly, tilting his head at his partner. He keeps his eyes on the arm he’s wrapping.

Roy stops for a moment considering his answer, before continuing with the bandage, “Because I want to be.”

Jason’s face scrunches in frustration. “But why do you want to be? It’s not exactly your scene.”

Roy tapes the bandage before showing any acknowledgement to the fact he was asked a question. He then looks up at the Gothamite with a small smile. “Because you’re here.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “Roy, I live here.”

Roy lets out a full-hearted laugh at that. A hand on Jason’s knee keeps Roy from falling onto his butt on the floor. “You’re so smart, Jay, but also so very oblivious.”

“You can’t insult a guy in his own home!”

Roy keeps smiling, standing up and ruffling his partner's hair, receiving a grunt in return. “Get cleaned up, then we’ll talk.”

-

It takes two hours, two showers, a visit to Leslie’s and getting barred from patrol for two days before they finally sit down on Jason’s sofa again.

“I’m too old for this,” Jason complains, resting his head on his hand.

“Vigilantism or receiving healthcare?”

“Eh, changes depending on the day.”

“Figures.”

They lapse into silence again. Roy looks at Jason and takes a breath. “I’m in Gotham because you’re here. Because this is where you want to be, and I want to be with you. After everything that’s happened, I stopped looking for love of really any kind. Then you and the Outlaws just dropped into my life one day when I wasn’t even looking and none of you used my past against me. It happened, but I’d grown and it could stay in the past. It has been 3, maybe 4 years since your resurrection? And watching you and Kori dancing around the kitchen on her island, a frying pan in your hand and the rain that started trickling in through Kori’s always open windows– Like really, how was that a good idea?-- But anyways, watching you and watching you fall in love with being alive was all I needed. I knew you guys were my home and the only people I’d ever need. And sure, it’s true that friendship and romance don’t magically make everything better, but honestly, it’s hard to stay sad when you or Kori would be there talking about trying a new cake or ice-cream place. There’s good in that, y’know? Being with you guys was like finally being warm again after years of being cold, and being in love with you was like… I want to say it’s like knowing I’m in love with my soulmate, but that’s stupid. I love you on purpose and I let the love grow every day. That’s why I’m here.”

Jason’s mouth is hanging open slightly. He blinks dumbly when his partner is finished speaking. He throws away the instinct to question it and everything all at once and takes Roy’s hand, intertwining their fingers and moving their hands back and forwards. Roy is looking at him fondly. “I wasn’t good at emotion when I first came back,” Jason said, “Except anger. I was brilliant at that. But knowing you guys and being a part of the Outlaws showed me how to rebuild myself again. You’re all the best things that have ever happened to me. You’re yourself so completely that you make everyone around you comfortable enough to be themselves too. You’re like the sunlit corners of the world I constantly find myself drawn back to. You’re my point of no return, Harper. The moment I met you on Kori’s island and became aware of you I knew that you’d never leave my mind again, and I was okay with that. And I love you on purpose too, you beautiful twat.”

“Does that mean I can kiss you?” Roy questions, an award-winning grin on his face as he inches closer.

“Is the sky blue?”

“I mean, in Gotham? Not often.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

–

“Now, personally I think when you get married I should be mentioned at least once in your speeches for being the reason this happened,” Leslie tuts, placing her pen behind her ear with a smile.

“Roy already wants you as the officiator,” Jason grumbles. Roy hits his chest fondly.

“That I can do. Finally, an easy request from you vigilantes.” The doctor huffs, and turns to look Roy in the eyes. “So, Roy Harper, you gonna stick around Gotham then?”

Roy grins. “For the most part. I’ll steal him away to Star City on occasion too.”

Leslie smiles with approval. “Excellent. I just have to go over some medical stuff alone with Jason, but we won’t be two minutes, honey,” Leslie assures the archer as she ushers him out of the room and turns back to Jason.

“Medical stuff?” Jason raises an eyebrow.

“I’m happy for you, Jason. Truly. I don’t think you remember sometimes that I knew you when you were a feral little scrap. Seeing you grow up is hard enough, but seeing you fall in love and being alive to see it is beautiful.”

The vigilante blushes and opens his arms bashfully, relaxing when Leslie returns the hug. She gives him a couple of soft pats on the back.

“Thanks, Doc.”