Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was the beginning of everything. The fresh start Eijiro had been waiting for. He’d gotten his new name on his school id, started testosterone, found a few different binders that fit safely, dyed his hair the same color Crimson Riot’s was, and stuck a trans pin proudly on the jacket to his school uniform. His new life began today.

“Kiri!” Mina called from behind him.

“Ashido!” They had never really been close, but they’d been on friendly terms, and now they were the only two students from their school at U.A., so they had to stick together.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” she said, smiling. “I still can’t believe I got in.”

“Same here,” Eijiro said, chuckling nervously at the memory of the entrance exams. He still had no idea how he’d finished in second. The blond guy with the explosion quirk who had finished in first had been a maniac.

“Do you think that boy with the broken arm will be here?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t destroy any robots.”

“Yeah, but that quirk was insane!” Mina said, waving her arms through the air to emphasize her point.

“Maybe he just needs to learn self-restraint?” Eijiro suggested, but Mina only laughed.

“I dunno, that was pretty intense.”

Walking into U.A. with her was easier than walking in alone would have been. It made the giant, crowded halls seem just a little less formidable. This was their school now.

“Look at the size of these doors!” Mina exclaimed, staring upwards.

“Must be some pretty tall students here.”

“Seriously!” Mina agreed, laughing. “You look a lot different now. In a good way, more comfortable with yourself.”

“Thanks,” Eijiro said, smiling. “I wanted a fresh start.”

“So, like any good queer man, you dyed your hair,” Mina said, nodding sagely.

“It’s to look like Crimson Riot!” Eijiro whined, stopping when he realized they were outside their classroom. Class 1-A. He couldn’t believe he was going to school here. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Mina said, squaring her shoulders. They walked into their classroom for the first time, neither knowing everything that was waiting for them beyond that door in the years to come.

Most of the seats were taken, so they sat down diagonally from each other, which would probably make whispering and passing notes easier, anyway.

“I remember you guys!” the kid with the lightning quirk said, grinning at them. “Denki Kaminari.”

“Mina Ashido,” she said, grinning right back.

“Eijiro Kirishima,” Eijiro said, trying not to seem too excited about using his chosen name. He didn’t think he was ever going to get tired of it.

“I’m Hanta Sero,” someone who Eijiro recognized but whose quirk he couldn’t quite remember said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “I dare you to go say hi to him.” He nodded towards the explosion guy. Denki’s eyes went wide with horror.

“Dude, no, I almost died.”

“That’s mean,” Mina told them, giggling.

“You guys are being ridiculous,” Eijiro said, walking towards him. Denki screamed silently and Hanta leaned forward in a sadistic sort of excitement. “Hey, it’s cool we’re in class together. I remember you from the entrance exam.”

“You came in second,” the explosion guy said, looking up from his book for the first time since Eijiro had entered the room. He was actually really pretty up close. “Don’t think you can compete with me.” Eijiro snorted.

“Bro, come on. You aren’t gonna make any friends if all you do is fight. I’m Eijiro Kirishima,” he said, extending a hand.

“I’m Katsuki Bakugou, and I’m going to be number one,” Katsuki said, snapping his book closed and smiling menacingly at Eijiro, who only rolled his eyes and put his hand back own.

“Whatever you say, man.”

“Are you challenging me?” Katsuki yelled, slamming his book down and leaning threateningly towards Eijiro, the effect somewhat diminished by his refusal to take his feel off his desk.

“Sure,” Eijiro said, smiling. “Let’s spar after class!”

“Fine,” Katsuki agreed, glaring at Eijiro and opening his book again. Eijiro walked triumphantly back to his seat.

“You’re fearless,” Denki said, still watching Katsuki warily.

“He’s not so bad, I think he’s just shy,” Eijiro said, smiling in Katsuki’s direction. Mina started laughing at him, but Eijiro didn’t care. He’d never been good with people or making friends, but he was a new man now, and he was going to befriend Katsuki Bakugou if it killed him. Which had nothing to do with the way his passionate red eyes flashed with anger and made Eijiro forget how to breathe. Yep.

They spent most of the first day testing their quirks, and Eijiro did surprisingly well considering how weak his quirk was compared to all his classmate’s quirks, except for Midoriya, who kept injuring himself, that looked rough. But none of that was as difficult as Eijiro’s next obstacle - the men’s locker room. He’d avoided it the first time by pretending to use the bathroom until everyone else was done, but he couldn’t do that twice in one day. He could do this. He wasn’t ashamed of who he was.

“No, Sero,” Denki whined, knocking his head lightly against the locker. “You don’t understand, she smiled at me!”

“She was laughing at you, man,” Hanta said, shaking his head sympathetically. Eijiro took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head. This wasn’t a big deal, he could just shower and change his binder at home.

“What are you wearing?” Denki asked, and suddenly, everyone was staring at Eijiro.

“A binder,” Hanta said, smacking him in the arm.”Come on, he’s been wearing a trans pin all day.”

“Oh, cool,” Denki said, going back to fighting with his shoe.

“Ew,” Mineta said, making a face. “Why would you ruin your body like that?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Katsuki growled, suddenly looming over Mineta. He was beautiful, stripped down to his underwear and glistening with sweat. Eijiro snapped his mouth shut. Katsuki sticking up for him wasn’t that surprising, he was studying to be a hero, after all. “No one gives a shit about you or your opinions.”

“It’s fine,” Eijiro said, stepping between them, his hand hovering right in front of Katsuki’s chest, so close that he could feel the heat radiating off him. “I don’t care.”

“You should,” Katsuki growled, looking right into Eijiro’s eyes before finally stepping back. Eijiro felt like Katsuki could see right through him.

“What’s going on here?” Iida asked, coming in alongside Midoriya, both of them finally finished talking with Uraraka apparently.

“Nothing,” Katsuki lied, and no one contradicted him. “You still wanna spar?” he asked, turning towards Eijiro.

“Yeah!” Eijiro said, grinning and pulling his own shirt back on. He was more than happy to get out of here as soon as possible. He changed his pants quickly, checking quickly to make sure his packer was still in place when no one was watching. He followed Katsuki out once he was fully dressed, too. Midoriya watched them go suspiciously.

“Thanks for the help back there,” Eijiro said, trying not to come off like some sort of damsel in distress.

“It’s whatever,” Katsuki said.

They were alone in a giant training ring, and Eijiro felt impossibly small. Katsuki turned to face him, and Eijiro realized that Katsuki had looked out of place all day until right now. He was all hard lines and sharp angles, every muscle tense, his eyes focused and looking right at Eijiro.

“Quirks or no quirks?” he asked, cracking his knuckles, his voice dripping with anticipation as if he had been born just to fight.

“No quirks might be better since we’re doing quirk training in school,” Eijiro said, bracing himself for Katsuki’s attack.

Katsuki was on him in an instant, lunging forward like some sort of half-crazed demon. It was all Eijiro could do to block and dodge, weaving around Katsuki’s quick, decisive movements and just taking them when he couldn’t. His heart was racing. This all felt like some sort of dance.

He saw his opening, and he took it, tripping Katsuki when he finally caught him slightly off center. Katsuki went down, but he took Eijiro with him, hooking his leg around Eijiro’s calf. They were on the ground then, rolling in the dust and punching each other until they were both out of breath.

Katsuki rolled off from where he was straddling Eijiro and dropped down onto the ground beside him. Neither of them said anything for a long time after that, they just lay there in silence. Eijiro didn’t understand Katsuki, he seemed like a mess of anger and contradictions, but Eijiro would figure him out. He would make his way past his walls and dive inside, exploring everything that was Katsuki and discovering Katsuki for himself. Eijiro had always liked tough guys, especially when surrounded with an air of mystery.

“I should go home,” Katsuki said, not making any move to actually go. His voice broke Eijiro out of his reverie, sounding harsh against the quiet they had created.

“Yeah, same here.” Eijiro waited to go until Katsuki finally sat up, stretching his arms over his head slowly like a cat in the sun. They walked together to the door, but were going in different directions from there. “See you tomorrow, bro!”

“See you,” Katsuki said, looking at him almost appraisingly for a moment before walking away. Eijiro didn’t know what that meant, but decided not to worry about it. Today had gone far better than expected. He couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

“Hey, Eijiro,” Chinatsu said, greeting him as soon as the door opened. She was sprawled over the couch with her history book, one airpod in her ear as she studied. Eijiro couldn't help but beam at his chosen name. “How was school?”

“Pretty good, I’m in the same class as Ashido.”

“That’s nice. Make any new friends yet?”

“I think so. Ashido and I hung out with these two other guys, Sero and Kaminari, all day, and there’s this other guy named Bakugou who I trained with after school. He also stuck up for me.” Chinatsu looked up from her book at that.

“Why’d he need to stick up for you?”

“Someone was being a jerk in the locker room,” Eijiro said, trying to sound casual. “Please don’t tell Mom and Mama,” he added quietly. She sighed and looked back down at her book.

“I won’t.”

“How was your first day back?”

“Same old same old,” she said, yawning. “I might try out for volleyball.” Chinatsu was graduating this year, but she still had to figure out what she was doing after that. She had their mama’s quirk, but she’d never gotten the hang of it, so all she had was tangled strings everywhere whenever she used it. She didn’t use it anymore, but Eijiro didn’t know why. He thought it was a beautiful quirk.

“That would be fun,” he said, even though they both knew she wouldn’t end up trying out. She hadn’t been doing well the past few years. It was something they didn’t talk about. The number of things their family didn’t talk about had grown over the years.

“You wanna play Human Fall Flat before dinner?”

“Yeah,” Eijiro agreed, kicking off his shoes and sitting down on the couch where Chinatsu had made room for him.

Eijiro had finally closed his eyes, but he didn’t think he was going to sleep anytime soon. Chinatsu was blasting her sad, yearning music from her room, and he could hear his parents arguing about something in hushed voices, but he couldn’t make out the words. Maybe Chinatsu had turned her music up so loud to block out the sound.

Eijiro didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t strong enough to hold them all together. He could still remember when their family had been awesome but now they didn’t even talk anymore. He knew he’d made it worse by coming out and starting his transition, because even though they supported him, it just gave them one more thing to worry about.

He didn’t want to sink back into depression like he had during middle school. He should’ve just been happy or waited until his parents had less on their plate. They already had his sister’s depression to deal with, after all. He was doing better now - he was doing his best - but he still wondered how he could ever be a hero when he couldn’t even save his own family.

Chapter Text

Eijiro was awake before his alarm clock, turning it off and jumping out of bed. He rushed through breakfast, kissed his mothers goodbye, and he was off. It was a bit cold out today, but not too bad. It was better than just sitting at home where everyone was always fighting all the time. He didn’t know why they couldn’t just be happy.

“Hey guys!” Eijiro called as soon as he arrived at the classroom, heading over to Denki’s desk where his friends were gathered.

“Hi, Kiri,” Mina said. “How’s your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Eijiro told her as she, Denki, and Hanta cackled.

“He’s totally your type, though.”

“What’s your type? Flaming garbage?” Denki asked, still chuckling.

“Nah, definitely tough guys who secretly just want a hug,” Hanta said smugly, knowing he was right.

“Come on,” Eijiro protested. “You guys are mean. Maybe I just have a thing for confidence.”

“Well, he’s certainly not lacking in that,” Denki said, shaking his head.

“Maybe it’s the whole loud blonde thing, though you’ve mostly simped for guys with darker hair in the past,” Mina said.

“I’ve always found loud blondes annoying,” Hanta said, grinning at Denki.

“Rude! I’ll have you know, loud blondes are very popular with the ladies,” Denki said, running a hand through his hair. Mina snorted.

“Yeah, sure. Though I always thought girls were more into cool guys.”

“I’m cool,” Denki whined. Eijiro’s head turned immediately when Katsuki entered the room, trudging angrily to his desk, propping his feet up, and opening his book.

“Don’t do it man,” Hanta told him, shaking his head.

“Dude, you’re gonna die,” Mina whispered, giggling.

“Rip Kirishima,” Kaminari said, watching eagerly. Eijiro just rolled his eyes at them and walked over to Katsuki’s desk.

“Hey, Bakugou! What’s good?” he asked, grinning. Katsuki looked at him suspiciously. His feet were propped up on the desk, and he was looking up from his book. He was looking right at Eijiro as if he were a puzzle Katsuki couldn’t quite solve yet. But that was fine, Katsuki could stare at him for as long as he wanted, Eijiro didn’t mind.

“Fine. You?” Katsuki asked, and Eijiro felt his grin widen.

“I’m great!” Shit, was his voice a little too high there? It had gotten deeper since starting testosterone, but he still needed to be careful. This was okay, though. Katsuki had stood up for him yesterday, so it’s not like he didn’t know he was trans. “Training was fun yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Katsuki agreed, the corner of his lip twitching upwards. “Your quirk’s not so bad.”

“Thanks! Yours is super manly, obviously,” Eijiro said, hating how eager he sounded. “Anyway, you excited to meet All Might today?”

“Already met him,” Katsuki said, leaning almost imperceptibly away from Eijiro. “He’s better on tv than in person.” Eijiro wanted to ask what he meant by that and how Katsuki had met All Might, but Aizawa was opening the door, and he had to hurry back to his seat along with the rest of the class.

“Alright, students,” Aizawa began, taking a long, reverent sip of coffee. “I’ve been told that our school is focusing on being more ‘woke’ this year, so we’re going to do introductions. I’m going to call your name, and you can tell the room your preferred pronouns and anything else you think is important about yourself.” He yawned, sinking slowly into his seat. “My name’s Shouta Aizawa, he/him. I’m Eraserhead. Yuga Aoyama.”

Aoyama started striking poses and shouting, mostly in French, and Eijiro did his best to nod along and pretend he understood any of what he was saying. The names, pronouns, and lists of hobbies started going by in almost a blur. It wasn’t that Eijiro didn’t care about his classmates, it was just that he was tired of all the pronoun circles and everyone trying to be ‘woke’ without actually caring about the issues, issues which affected his life every single day.

“Eijiro Kirishima,” Aizawa said, not looking amused. His friends were giggling, so he must have zones out a bit. Oops.

“He/him!” he said a little too excitedly. “My quirk’s hardening, and I’m a big Crimson Riot fan!” He decided to stop there, not wanting to go on too long and become annoying. That wasn’t so bad, he sounded pretty likable, like someone who could make a great hero one day. Eijiro forced himself to focus again. He didn’t know why he was having so much trouble paying attention, maybe he was just tired.

“Shoto Todoroki,” Aizawa said, fighting back another yawn.

“Present,” Todoroki said as if he hadn’t been listening at all. Honestly, that made Eijiro feel a little better about himself

“Tell the class your pronouns and something important about yourself,” Aizawa explained wearily.

“My pronouns?” Todoroki repeated.

“Like he, she, or they,” Midoriya whispered helpfully. Todoroki nodded thoughtfully.

“He. And I’m Endeavor’s son,” Todoroki said, looking at Midoriya who nodded encouragingly. Aizawa sighed.

“Toru Hagakure.”

“She/her,” she said quietly, not choosing to add anything else. The sound didn’t seem like it was coming from her desk, and Eijiro couldn’t see her uniform anywhere, but he decided not to question her. She should just do her own thing, he wasn’t one to judge, and no one else seemed bothered by it.

“Katsuki Bakugou.”

“Katsuki Bakugou, he/him, and I’m going to be number one,” Katsuki said, smirking confidently and letting off a few small explosions to prove his point. He was so cool. Eijiro really shouldn’t be crushing on him, he was really getting tired of falling for straight guys. It really wasn’t great for his self-esteem.

“That’s wonderful,” Aizawa said, zipping up his sleeping bag. “Study quietly until the bell rings, I’m taking a nap.”

All Might was even larger than life than he was on tv, and seeing him stand next to Katsuki as he patted him on the shoulder, Eijiro realized who Katsuki was. He was the kid from the sludge villain incident back when they were in middle school, which meant Midoriya was the kid who had tried to save him, but that didn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t Midoriya have used his quirk? It didn’t matter either way, the news had been careful to leave both of their faces off television, so they must not want anyone to know. That was okay, Eijiro would pretend he didn’t.

Eijiro laughed when Iida and Katsuki were teamed up. It really was unfortunate considering that their entire relationship was basically hate at first sight. Eijiro was rooting for them, but they didn’t work as a team, and for some reason, Katsuki seemed much more interested in beating Midoriya than in actually doing the assignment. Eijiro had no idea what was up with them. Midoriya’s quirk was insane, he had no idea how someone could have such a destructive quirk that their body would have to pay the price like that.

It was fun being teamed up with Hanta, but Eijiro was surprised when they won, especially against Tsu and Tokoyami. He and Hanta made a pretty good team, though, probably because both of them were willing to communicate and work together. Dark Shadow had been terrifying in person though, he and Tokoyami were pretty bad ass, though Tsu had still carried their team, her strategies were a lot more practical than his.

Once they’d finished, Eijiro sat down quietly next to Katsuki.

“Hey,” he said, scooting subtly closer.

“You weren’t awful out there,” Katsuki said, watching the current match carefully.

“Thanks, man! You were pretty great, I had no idea how powerful your quirk was.” Katsuki scoffed at that, smiling slightly.

“I was holding back, didn’t want to bring the whole campus down.” His shoulders relaxed slightly, and Eijiro took that as an opportunity to move closer again. “I lost though,” Katsuki said quietly.

“I know. You were still great out there,” Eijiro told him, and Katsuki didn’t say anything after that.

Eijiro took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head. Everything was okay, this would get a little easier every day until eventually he wouldn’t even think about it.

“How come Kirishima’s allowed in here?” Mineta whined. Eijiro stiffened, but didn’t say anything. It was fine, Mineta wasn’t worth fighting.

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Iida asked, looking down at Mineta in confusion.

“I don’t want a girl staring at my dick!”

“I told you to shut the fuck up,” Katsuki growled, taking a step towards Mineta.

“Dude, it’s fine,” Eijiro said, forcing a smile.”I really don’t care.”

“Why the fuck not?” Eijiro didn’t have an answer for that. Maybe it was just easier this way.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Iida asked, looking between Eijiro, Katsuki, and Mineta.

“Kirishima’s trans, and Mineta’s a transphobe,” Midoriya answered quickly before Katsuki could.

“Thank you, Midoriya,” Iida said. Eijiro just wanted to go home so that he could curl up and die in his own bed. “Heroes are supposed to defend minority groups, not antagonize them!” Iida said, looking disappointedly down at Mineta. “If this behavior continues, I will have to report you to the teachers.” Mineta groaned, but didn’t argue, and no one said anything else, because no one knew what they were supposed to say. Eijiro thought the worst part of being trans was feeling other all the time.

Most of their class was back in the classroom after that, looking over their homework and grabbing their bags before going home. Eijiro was watching Katsuki, not because he was gay, but because he was clearly upset about something. He’d been fuming since losing to Midoriya, but it had gotten worse after what Mineta had said in the locker room.

Maybe Katsuki was uncomfortable with Eijiro being there, too, and he was just trying to be a good person, though Katsuki hadn’t seemed uncomfortable with him yesterday when they were rolling around in the dust of the training arena, limbs tangled and both of them drenched in Katsuki’s sweat without a second thought. Eijiro sighed. He didn’t know why he always had to fall for tough guys.

“Bakugou, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly, making sure that no one would overhear them. Mina, Hanta, and Denki were busy looking at something on Hanta’s phone, and he didn’t know where Midoriya was, so he wasn’t really too worried about anyone interrupting them.

“None of your fucking business.”

“Look, bro, don’t be like that,” Eijiro said, reaching out to touch Katsuki’s shoulder. Katsuki smacked his hand away.

“Don’t touch me,” he growled.

“It’s really not a big deal, no one wins all the time.”

“I do,” Katsuki spat, sounding close to tears. His fists were clenched at his sides, and he was shaking with some rage and some other emotion Eijiro couldn’t figure out. Whatever it was, he could tell that it was the real emotion in play here.

His mama was a therapist, and she’d always told him that anger was a secondary emotion, a self-defense mechanism designed to protect people from the strength of whatever emotion that was actually overwhelming him. Katsuki Bakugou might seem like anger incarnate with his yelling and fighting, but anger was just pain. Katsuki was in pain, and Eijiro didn’t know how to help him. He didn’t know why no one could ever just be happy.

“Bakugou -” Eijiro began, but Katsuki didn’t let him finish.

“Leave me alone.” He shoved Eijiro roughly away from him and stormed out of the classroom.

“Don’t,” Mina said, grabbing Eijiro’s arm gently before he could follow Katsuki out. “He isn’t your problem.” Eijiro just sighed and hung his head, but wasn’t it his problem, really? Wasn’t the entire point of being a hero making it your problem when something was wrong? Eijiro just sat back in his chair and watched as Midoriya followed Katsuki out, because Midoriya was already a better hero than Eijiro would ever be.

No one was waiting for him when Kirishima arrived home. He sighed as he closed the door behind him. He sat down at the kitchen table and did his homework in silence until the sounds of Chinatsu and his mothers fighting upstairs got too loud. He tried playing music, but it was too loud to focus, so he decided to go for a walk outside. When he got back, they made small talk through the rest of dinner, and then he went upstairs to finish up his homework and watch videos of unusual animal friendships online until about one.

He could hear Chinatsu crying faintly from the other side of the wall, but he didn’t know what to do about that. He didn’t even know why she was so upset. She never really talked about it, she just yelled about how miserable she was without ever saying why. Eijiro took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to tune out the crying. He just wanted to be happy.

Chapter Text

“Eijiro, wake up,” Chinatsu said, shaking him. “You’re gonna be late, you overslept.” Eijiro leapt out of bed, knocking against her shoulder in the process. “Ow!”

“Sorry!” he said, running to the bathroom and brushing his teeth hurriedly, fighting back nausea from the way his chest moved as he ran. He walked back to his room and locked the door before putting on his binder. He was so tired of binders, he just wanted to walk around shirtless like all the other guys. He wanted his body to be like the bodies of all his male classmates. How was he supposed to keep up with them when he was busy keeping track of how long he’d been binding and which binder was safe to where when?

He threw his uniform on, grabbed his backpack, and pushed that thought to the back of his mind where it could fester with the rest of his insecurities. He wasn’t the same person he’d been before anymore. He was Eijiro Kirishima, and she was dead. He didn’t need to carry her pain anymore, all he needed to do was keep moving forward, and eventually, everything would work out.

“Sit down and eat,” his mama said, putting a plate down in front of his seat. Eijiro didn’t need to be told twice.

“Thanks,” he said, shovelling food into his mouth.

“Don’t make yourself sick,” his mom said, looking up wearily from her newspaper.

“He’s not going to make himself sick, he’s fifteen.”

“All I’m saying is that it’s better to be a few minutes late to school than to be sick.”

“I know what you said, I’m saying he isn’t going to get sick.” Eijiro and Chinatsu exchanged a knowing look. Chinatusu rolled her eyes, and Eijiro shrugged back at her. He didn’t know why their parents needed to turn everything into a fight.

“I’m going to school,” Eijiro said, standing up abruptly.

“Have fun,” Chinatsu said.

“Don’t you have to catch your bus?” he asked.

“I’m staying home today,” she said, taking a long, slow sip of coffee. “I’m not feeling well.”

“Okay, feel better.” He picked up his backpack and left, jogging hurriedly to school, trying not to think about how he could run if he wasn’t wearing this binder.

“You’re late,” Aizawa said as Eijiro burst into the room. Sero snickered.

“Sorry, I guess I slept through my alarm,” Eijiro said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Aizawa sighed.

“Take a seat.” Eijiro did, happy for his classmates’ attention to no longer be focused on him, except for Katsuki, who hadn’t stopped staring at him since he had arrived for some reason.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” he asked Katsuki once class was dismissed, catching him on his way out.

“Nothing. Why?”

“No reason,” Eijiro said, smiling at him, trying to make Katsuki stop looking at him so suspiciously. “Just noticed you were looking at me.” Katsuki’s entire face turned red at that, and Eijiro laughed.

“I was not.”

“Sure you weren’t,” Eijiro agreed, following him into the hallway.

“I was just surprised you were late so early in the year, that’s all,” Katsuki told him, avoiding eye contact.

“Uh huh,” Eijiro agreed, still laughing.

“Don’t you ever just shut up?”

“Not really. Anyway, can you believe we have a test on Monday even though school just started?”

“This is U.A. If you want to be a hero, you’re going to have to do a lot more than pass some dumb test.”

“I know, it’s just that English isn’t really my best subject.”

“You can study with me,” Katsuki said after a moment of thought. Eijiro gasped dramatically, and Katsuki scoffed at him, almost fondly.

“Really??”

“Don’t make me regret it, Shitty Hair,” Katsuki said, clearly insulting him to draw attention away from the fact that he’d invited Eijiro to spend time with him.

“That’s not my name,” Eijiro reminded cheerfully.

School was becoming routine at this point, the teachers, the students, even Aizawa’s sleeping bag was starting to feel normal. The only thing that still presented a problem was the locker rooms. Eijiro knew he could probably change in the bathroom, but it wasn’t like he felt completely safe there, either. He couldn’t use the urinals, because he had no idea how STPs worked, and he felt like every time he used one of the stalls, it just reminded everyone that he wasn’t like them.

Plus, there was safety in numbers. If everyone else was in the locker room, no one would be there to help him if Mineta decided to follow him. Mineta might not be a formidable opponent, but there was something about his quirk that made Eijiro’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He shouldn’t worry about that, though. Mineta was training to be a hero, he probably didn’t mean to make Eijiro anxious around him.

Eijiro turned to face the wall as he pulled his shirt off, pulling the new one on quickly.

“I still don’t know why she’s allowed in here,” Mineta said. Eijiro froze with his hands around his belt. This was fine. It wasn’t worth a fight. It would be easier just to pretend he hadn’t heard anything.

“Mineta! As I’ve said before, if this behavior continues, I will have to report you to our teachers! U.A. has a no discrimination toleration policy!” Iida said, punctuating his point with stiff, uncomfortable arm movements, because Iida was out of his depth. Obviously, he didn’t know how to respond to this. He probably didn’t really want Eijiro here, either. Eijiro spun around at the sound of a loud crash to see Mineta slumped against the wall.

“Bakugou!” Iida exclaimed in horror.

“I fucking warned him,” Katsuki growled, taking a step towards Mineta, who was cowering on the floor. Katsuki scoffed and smirked down on him. “Pathetic.”

“Dude, come on!” Eijiro said, grabbing Katsuki’s arm to keep him from getting any closer to Mineta. “It’s really not worth it.”

“He can’t just talk to you like that!” Katsuki snapped, spinning around to face Eijiro. They were standing so close together that Eijiro could feel his breath, and he was trying not to think too hard about good Katsuki smelled right now, even drenched in sweat. He really was hopeless.

“I really don’t care,” Eijiro said, even though he really, really did.

“Well, I do.”

“Why?” Eijiro asked, trying not to sound angry, because if he was too angry, everyone would just say that testosterone was making him lose control of himself, and that this was why they shouldn’t give people “unnatural” hormones, as if these weren’t the same exact hormones all the other guys his age had. “Why do you care?”

“Whatever,” Katsuki said instead of answering. “Let him run his mouth if it makes you happy.” Eijiro let go of his arm, and felt some strange sense of loss as Katsuki stormed over to the bench and started with his daily process of fighting to get his ridiculous boots off.

“You only stick up for her because you want to hit that,” Mineta said smugly, standing up, but still staying close to the wall, wanting to keep as much distance as possible between him and Katsuki, though still choosing not to just shut up for some reason. Katsuki was on his feet in an instant, immediately tripping over his left boot which was still half on.

“You little -”

“I’ve got this,” Midoriya said casually, and shockingly, Katsuk listened, climbing back on the bench and resuming his battle with his left boot. Midoriya turned to Mineta and smiled, something changing in his face as he did. “Run.” Mineta did.

“Threatening your fellow classmates is not an appropriate way to handle conflict resolution!” Iida said sternly, looking disapprovingly at Katsuki and Midoriya.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Eijiro said for what already felt like the thousandth time. “I don’t care what he says.

“Sorry,” Midoriya said sheepishly. Katsuki scoffed.

“I’m not,” Katsuki said, finally getting his last boot off. Eijiro realized for the first time that he wasn’t wearing socks under his boots, which was definitely weird and probably not very hygienic considering how much he sweat. “He shouldn’t be allowed to say shit like that.” He didn't sound angry anymore, just tired, and there was something in his expression which felt familiar to Eijiro, almost like he’d worn that expression before, too. “Let’s study Saturday,” Katsuki said, changing the subject.

“Yeah, sounds great, man,” Eijiro agreed, spinning back around quickly to keep from drooling over Katsuki’s chest as he changed. Katsuki was beautiful, and Eijiro would give anything to be beautiful, too. He passed for the most time as long as he kept an eye on his voice and wore baggy enough t-shirts, but he didn’t want to just pass, he wanted to be everything he admired - manly, passionate, fearless. Eijiro just couldn’t believe that after all this time he was still carrying her pain.

“I’m home!” Eijiro called cheerfully, swinging the door open with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Hey,” Chinatsu said, not looking away from the television. She was still in her pajamas, curled up on the couch and wrapped in her favorite blanket. Eijiro tossed his backpack onto the floor and kicked off his shoes before sitting down next to her.

“I’m cold.”

“Fine,” she said, sighing and rolling her eyes as she tossed some of the blanket over him. “How was school?” she asked once the commercials started.

“Awesome! Bakugou and I are going to study together!”

“Bakugou who stuck up for you?” Chinatsu asked, looking incredibly amused by this. Eijiro groaned dramatically.

“It’s not like that! We’re just friends!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just be sure you get in some solo studying time, just in case you guys get distracted.” Eijiro grinned at being called a guy, even though he should be used to this. Chinatsu had been the first to get the hang of his new name and pronouns once he’d finally come out.

“We won’t get distracted, Bakugou takes school very seriously,” he informed her.

“I’m sure he does, you could learn something from that.”

“Hey, that’s mean!” Eijiro protested, making an incredibly offended face which Chinatsu only rolled her eyes at. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, a little,” she said, sinking back into the couch and deeper into herself and whatever it was that was bothering her there. Eijiro wished he knew what was wrong, he wished he could help. Chinatsu had used to be so full of life, and now she wasn’t. He had watched her lose herself over the years, but he still didn’t know what had happened.

She had always been his hero, and he felt like he’d lost a part of himself watching her die slowly right in front of his eyes. He felt like their family had used to be awesome, but looking back, he could see the cracks in their foundation which had brought them here. They might love each other, but they had never been the picture perfect family Eijiro had thought they were, if that even existed.

Maybe realizing that your family was just kind of fucked up was a part of growing up. Maybe losing your faith in the world was a rite of passage, because Eijiro had watched it happen to Chinatsu, and now it was happening to him as he watched her withdraw further into herself every day. He knew that even the greatest heroes couldn’t save everyone, but he was watching her erase herself slowly, and he couldn’t stop it. What kind of hero couldn’t even protect his own family?

“I’m going to try to go to school tomorrow,” she said, as if reading his thoughts. Eijiro wondered what the string between them looked like. He wondered if Chinatsu could feel how much he worried about her through it. He couldn’t understand why she would give up on her quirk. It was a beautiful quirk, that was what their mom had always said as she gazed adoringly at their mama, whose quirk it was.

She could see the strings that connected people. She could see family, and friends, and lovers, and even enemies and rivals. When she looked at someone, she could see all the strings connected to them, but not where they led. When she saw two people, she could see exactly what their relationship was. She said that it had saved her a lot of embarrassment in highschool and college, because she could always tell when her crushes were unrequited.

Chinatsu had found her quirk overwhelming. She’d hated it in middle school when her friends always asked her to see if their crushes liked them back. She’d hated it so much that she’d started off highschool just telling everyone she was quirkless, saying she preferred their teasing over being viewed as nothing more than her power. Eijiro would never understand her. He would give anything for a quirk like that, his was small and insignificant.

There was no fighting that night, but Eijiro almost missed it as he lay awake in the bed, suffocating in the passive aggressive silence that had taken over ever since his parents had gotten home. He didn’t know how they couldn’t see what they were doing to their family. Didn’t they love each other anymore? Didn’t they care that they were ruining everything that had used to be good? It wasn’t worth worrying about. Eijiro put his MP3 player on shuffle, connected it to his speakers, and went to sleep letting the music drown out at least some of these thoughts.

Chapter Text

Eijiro left home early, before anyone else was up, grabbed breakfast, and left. He lost track of time watching extreme workout clips on his phone in the park. When he arrived at school, there was some sort of crowd gathered in the hallway outside of his classroom.

“Kacchan, stop!” Midoriya yelled, sounding close to tears.

“What’s going on?” Eijiro asked Mina, who had her hands clasped over her mouth like a shocked cartoon character.

“Your boyfriend’s beating up some third year,” she said, not moving her hands. Katsuki was straddling the third year and going at him mercilessly, screaming incoherently, angry tears pouring down his face. Eijiro sighed and walked towards the commotion, because clearly no one else was going to do anything.

“Bakugou! Come on, man,” he said, grabbing Katsuki by the elbows and dragging him off the third year. “There’s no need for all of that.”

“Fuck you! Let go of me!” Katsuki yelled, trying to pull away. Kirishima was struggling to hold onto him, but he couldn’t just let him keep punching this kid, so he took a few more steps back and forced Bakugou to his knees. He heard Midoriya gasp, but he ignored it. The third year was just staring up at him, his entire face bloody.

“You should really go see Recovery Girl,” Eijiro said, straining to hold Katsuki down. When the third year was finally out of sight, he let go of Katsuki and dropped down to his knees in front of him.

“What the hell was that about?”

“He fucking asked for it,” Katsuki growled, the effect ruined by the small, sad sniffle that followed it. “He was talking shit about me.”

“You can’t beat people up over that!” Eijiro said exasperatedly.

“He hit me first!” Katsuki yelled back, wiping his eyes with the bottoms of his palms. “He’s just lucky I didn’t blow his ass straight to hell!” His whole body was shaking with rage, and honestly, Eijiro was grateful that Katsuki hadn’t immediately turned on him. “Stupid motherfucker,” he added under his breath. Eijiro sighed.

“Let’s just go to class, man,” he said, standing up and offering Katsuki a hand up. Katsuki smacked it away and got up on his own.

“Fuck you! What do you know? You don’t know shit,” Katsuki said, clenching his fists again. “You don’t get to just yank me around like some dumb kid.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t act like some dumb kid!” Eijiro said, clenching his own fists. If Katsuki wanted a fight, he wasn’t going to back down. Not anymore. “You could have gotten hurt, Bakugou!”

“I can take care of myself,” Katsuki growled, taking a threatening step towards him. “He fucking deserved it.”

“What did he say?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“None of my business?” Eijiro repeated. “You made it my business when you were beating someone up while I was trying to get to class.” Katsuki was glaring at him, every muscle in his body tense and ready to go, but Eijiro was ready for him. He was ready when Katsuki shoved him roughly backwards by the chest, even though someone touching his chest made him want to curl up and cry.

“Stay the fuck out of my way.”

“No,” Eijiro said, shoving Katsuki back by the chest until his back was against a wall. Suddenly, he was hyper aware of the students gathered around watching them. “You need to calm down.”

“Calm down?” Katsuki screamed, eye twitching with rage. He grabbed Eijiro’s shoulders roughly and pushed him backwards, kicking him in the knee sharply to bring him to the ground. “Don’t tell me what to do, fucking extra.”

Eijiro grabbed Katsuki by the shin, dragging him down and climbing over him quickly, pinning him down. Katsuki struggled against him, but quickly realized he couldn’t escape his grasp in this position. Eijiro loosened his grip immediately when he saw the panicked look in Katsuki’s eyes, thinking back to the sludge villain attack.

“I’m not an extra,” he said, standing up and dragging Katsuki to his feet, not waiting for him to reject his hand again. “I’m your friend.”

The rest of the day was awkward. People kept looking at him and Katsuki out of the corners of their eyes, and worst of all Katsuki kept looking at him, and Eijiro couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. His expression was unreadable, but he didn’t look angry anymore. More like he was deep in thought, but that didn’t help, because Eijiro had no idea what he was thinking about.

“Shitty Hair,” Katsuki said, startling him out of his reverie. “Let’s spar.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eijiro said, so relieved that he didn’t think to remind Katsuki that he had a name. He was grinning, and Katsuki’s lip twitched in a way that suggested he had almost grinned back, but thought better of it. Eijiro wondered who had hurt him so deeply that he couldn’t even smile without second guessing it.

They didn’t bother following the others to the locker rooms after school ended, heading straight to the spare training arena instead. It was smaller than the one they used in class, but more than big enough to accommodate them. They fought without speaking until they were both panting and drenched in Katsuki’s sweat.

“I can be whatever you need!” Eijiro yelled, not knowing why he was so upset. If Bakugou wanted to destroy himself, that was his problem. It wasn’t Eijiro’s job to stop him, he couldn’t save everyone, he couldn’t hold everyone in his life together all the time - but he also couldn’t bear to see Katsuki cry.

“What about what you need, idiot?” Katsuki yelled back, everything in his body language screaming fear. Every threat and every drop of explosive sweat was a wall he built around himself, a wall that grew thicker every time he pushed someone away and they stopped coming back. “You can’t do everything on your own!” Katsuki screamed, trembling with the fear he hid behind rage. That was when Eijiro decided that he would never stop coming back for Katsuki. No matter how much Katsuki screamed and yelled, Eijiro would never leave.

“Neither can you!” Eijiro screamed right back at him, skin hardening as Katsuki lunged at him. The training arena echoed Katsuki’s explosions, amplifying the sound as Kirishima dug his feet in, refusing to budge.

Katsuki eventually gave up, worn out from his constant fighting, just slumping against Eijiro as they caught their breath, his hands still braced against Eijiro’s shoulders. Katsuki really did smell good, as weird as that sounded when they were both drenched in his sweat. Maybe that was it, maybe the nitroglycerin was what caused the sweet, burning smell that was currently overwhelming Eijiro’s senses, flooding his brain with thoughts about Katsuki, making him wonder what it would taste like.

“You’re like a fucking brick wall,” Katsuki said, laughing, his breath hot against Eijro’s neck. Eijiro cautiously brought his hands up to rest on Katsuki’s waist, and Katsuki tensed for a second before relaxing again and letting Eijiro stay.

“You almost had me.”

“Your quirk’s incredible,” Katsuki said, leaning deeper into Eijiro, so close that their chests were almost touching. Eijiro’s heart was beating impossibly fast, and he was torn between wanting to pull Katsuki flush against him and wanting to create space between their chests. “I’ve never had this much trouble with anyone.”

“Yeah? I’m flattered. I’ve never come this close to breaking,” Eijiro said, and it was true. He could tell that Katsuki was going to absolutely break him, but he couldn’t help but tighten his grip on Katsuki’s waist, his heart speeding up as Katsuki melted against him, as if, secretly, all he wanted was someone strong enough to hold him. Eijiro could be that. He could be whatever Katsuki needed.

“I’m sorry,” Katsuki said under his breath, so quietly that Eijiro barely caught it, even standing so close together like this.

“For what?”

“For hitting you.” Katsuki’s forehead was pressed against Eijiro’s chest, and Eijiro pulled Katsuki gently against him, deciding the weight on his chest was alright with his binder on. It was alright as long as it was Katsuki silently asking for reassurance letting Eijiro past his walls like this.

“Bro, we were sparring.”

“I mean this morning,” Katsuki clarified, squeezing Eijiro’s shoulders anxiously, like he wasn’t used to apologizing.

“Don’t worry about it, happens to the best of us.”

“He really did deserve it, though.”

“What did he say?” Eijiro asked. Katsuki tensed against him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Katsuki said, pulling back. Eijiro let him go, instantly letting his hands fall away from Katsuki’s waist. Katsuki seemed to miss the contact, but he didn’t make any move to touch Eijiro again, and Eijiro didn’t want to push his luck.

“I should go home, I need to shower before dinner,” Eijiro said, his voice sounding small against the silence that had gathered around them.

“You’re allowed to shower here, you know,” Katsuki said, staring intently at his shoes. “Everyone else is gone, and I wouldn’t look.”

“Yeah, okay,” Eijiro agreed, smiling nervously. He didn’t know why he was so anxious. He was a man, so he should shower in the men’s showers. Katsuki wouldn’t have suggested he shower there if he was uncomfortable showering around him. If Katsuki said he wasn’t going to look, Eijiro believed him.

They got undressed with their backs facing each other, but that was okay, because Eijiro didn’t need to turn around to know that Katsuki would keep his word. They didn’t look at each other as they started showering, but Katsuki’s presence was reassuring, even though Eijiro knew that the rest of their class had gone home over an hour ago now.

“Why aren’t you wearing shower shoes?” Eijiro asked, realizing a second too late that he’d just admitted to looking at Katsuki. But that was fine, Katsuki had never said he couldn’t, and it wasn’t like Eijiro was just standing there ogling him.

“Nitroglycerin kills bacteria,” Katsuki said, continuing to wash his hair unbotheredly. Eijiro’s eyes wandered down the muscles of his back, appreciating his every sharp angle and the sudden slenderness of his waist. His entire body was light, firm muscle, and Eijiro wanted to touch every inch of him. Katsuki was surprisingly small underneath the baggy clothes he hid himself under. He was beautiful.

Eijiro forced his eyes away from Katsuki and back to rinsing his own hair before his thoughts could continue down that path and to go to places they shouldn’t in public. Since starting testosterone, his libido had been much more of an obstacle to his day to day life, especially considering how complicated getting off actually was.

“So… any plans for tonight?” Eijiro asked, trying to distract himself from the heat beginning to pool in his stomach.

“My dad has a friend coming over,” Katsuki said, not sounding remotely pleased about that. “You?”

“Not really, I’m probably just gonna do homework and lift a bit.” Katsuki made a small sound of acknowledgement before shutting off his water and heading back to the locker room to get dressed.

By the time Eijiro joined him Katsuki was fully dressed, turned with his face to the wall to give Eijiro privacy, drying his hair.

“Thanks,” Eijiro said quietly.

“It’s whatever,” Katsuki said before adding, “I get it.” Eijiro didn’t understand how Katsuki could possibly get it. Katsuki wasn’t like him. Katsuki couldn’t understand the shame and isolation that came with being trans. He couldn’t understand what it felt like to battle your own nature every day just so that you could bear the sight of your own reflection. Katsuki was masculinity at its peak. He was sharp lines of muscle and righteous anger. He was nothing like Eijiro. He would never understand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, man,” Eijiro said, fighting back a frustration he didn’t understand.

“Wait,” Katsuki said, and Eijiro stopped in his tracks, turning back around. “Where do you want to meet Saturday?” Katsuki asked, surprising Eijiro, who had thought he had probably forgotten about that.

“You could come to my house!” Eijiro suggested a little too eagerly.

“Yeah, that works. Lemme see your phone.” Eijiro pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and handed it to Katsuki without questioning him. “Text me so I have your number,” Katsuki said, handing Eijiro back his phone. He grabbed his backpack and left without saying another word, which was fine now that Eijiro had his number. Looking down at his phone, he saw that Katsuki had saved himself as just ‘Katsuki’. Eijiro grinned at it before texting Katsuki back a muscle emoji. He got an eye roll back, and considered it a victory.