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Chapter Text

==> Be Jake

Flashing lights blind your vision as you attempt to push back the crowd, your hand firmly gripping the back of the villain’s collar, the sea of reporters parting and revealing a path to the cop car. Your head is swimming and pulsing with adrenaline, you’re pretty sure you ended up getting shot during the fight, but your body hasn’t registered it yet, so you’ll keep going as long as you can. You’ll need to get back to headquarters soon. But first, you need to make sure this villain is on his way to jail. You have been working non-stop to catch Ult, and it seems like you finally have. It’s been hell trying to catch someone whose speed outmatches your trigger finger and the way he warps reality, sending your bullets back at you. His powers are still a total mystery, even to the Hero’s League, no one knows the specifics, though you’ve been able to gather two components of his power, or powers, are altering physics and super speed. There’s something else that he does sometimes, but no one is sure if it’s him or someone else’s power. Sometimes he has been seen with a copy of himself, some heroes have heard him call them splinters.

The cop car is getting closer and you feel the fuschia cape in your hands start to fall away. Your eyes wide, watching as Ult looks at you, those blasted pointed shades of his blocking his eyes, and a small smirk graces his lips. Suddenly the villain you were about to put away is nothing but ash in the wind, disappearing before your eyes. You turn on your heels, watching the ash swirl through the air, rising to one of the skyscrapers towering over you. You squint your eyes and mumble out a curse as you see him standing on the roof, his fuschia costume almost glowing against the night sky. The ashes land in his outstretched hand and you swear he smiles at you before he’s gone in a blur.

“Gunman!” The reporters scream out, shoving their microphones at you, their television cameras pointed at your shocked face. Your vision swims again and you start feeling light-headed. You don’t know what to say, but thankfully you don’t have to think for long before your body falls to the ground, the world going black.

You wake up with a jerk, sitting straight up, your eyes being accosted with bright white lights, and you hear a steady beeping from beside you. Great, you’re at the hospital. You fall back, your head hitting the flat pillows of your hospital bed. Your legs and arms hurt, but it’s a dull pain, probably thanks to the pain medicine they have you on. You probably bled out. From what you recall from the fight, Ult managed to turn four of your bullets back onto you. Three on your legs, and one on your left shoulder. You’ll probably have to take Kanaya up on her offer to make you a new suit that covers your body, and maybe request some sort of bulletproofing as well. But you’re rather fond of the tight-fitted yellow leotard and matching cape. Though, she’s probably right. You need to protect yourself more. You can’t keep relying on your true shot to get you through a fight. Especially not against Ult.

Your name is Jake English, more commonly known to the wider populous as Gunman. You are one of many people who were born with superpowers. Yours being named true shot. It allows you to aim, and your bullets will reach your exact target every time. That is unless you go against the villain, Ult, whose powers seem to consist of speed, and some sort of telekinesis that allows him to move your bullets back to you. Ult has risen to power within the past few months, he doesn’t seem to target people or take hostages, which is admirable, but when almost all his fights have caused you or your co-workers serious injury, you start to get a grudge on the bloke. His targets usually are only heroes, wishing nothing more than their demise. You try to understand why someone would do that, it’s not like he’s getting anything out of it, like most villains, he isn’t gaining money. It seems as if this bloke simply has a strong vendetta against Heros.

You thought you finally had him this time, finally able to lock away the man who almost killed your little sister. Jade was one of Ult’s targets when he first came on the scene. Her power, space warp, allows her to shrink or expand dimensions of space within her vision. She had trapped him in a cage that was shrinking, only to have him toss a sword at her, hitting her through her stomach and into her spine. You were barely able to get her to the hospital in time. She lost movement from the waist down and was in critical condition for three weeks. Thankfully she has recovered, but it’s been hard on her. She’s barely twenty-three years old and is almost completely bedridden from depression and recovery. You try to help her with her physical therapy, but most of the time she just gets angry. She wants to be able to help people, but can’t anymore. You’d be just as angry as she is if your roles were reversed.

You’re shaken out of your thoughts when a doctor walks in, he has blonde hair that is spiked up in the back, and thick round eyeglasses that show off stunningly bright orange eyes. He’s looking down at your chart before he looks up and makes eye contact with you. “Gunman, it’s a pleasure. I’m glad to see you awake. We were able to take the bullets out without a problem, and you should be good to go home soon. Though, you should take it easy for a few days. Just until your stitches are ready to come out.”

“Oh goodness, I can try my best to take it easy, but I don’t know if I'll be able to follow your orders on that one, doc. I tend to get quite restless when I'm put on bed rest. But I’ll try, old chap.” You flash him a bright smile.

The doctor walks over to your bedside and puts your chart down on the side table. “Now, Mr. English. Surely you aren’t going against the doctor's orders. How will you be able to help people if you can’t take care of yourself?” You find it hard to tell if he’s joking because he isn’t showing much emotion.

“I guess you’re right, mate. I’ll take it easy. When should I be able to leave?” You ask.

“You should be good to leave soon. Just let me check your vitals.” He starts doing your check-up, humming slightly as he reads the numbers. “Alright, Mr.English. You’re stable and good to go. Though, I will be seeing you soon. The Hero League has taken me on as the private doctor for you heroes. So we’ll be seeing more of each other.”

“Oh goodness! That is just swell, what’s your name?” You smile brightly and search his face. He doesn’t seem to be too happy with that. You know the League shells out a rather large wad of cash for the private doctors.

“Dirk Strider. I’ll see you in a few days for a check-up and to remove your stitches. See ya then, dude.” With that, the doctor is gone. You chuckle to yourself as nurses come in and start disconnecting you from machines. That doctor seemed rather odd, but perhaps he was just an awkward fellow.

Chapter Text

You were never fond of being on bed rest, especially when you should be doing other things; like helping your sister or saving people. You hated having to call your sister’s friend, John, and his sister (and your dear friend) Jane over to help take care of Jade. You’re able to get up and walk around, but you are still working on recovering and Jade wouldn’t let you help her. She can be properly stubborn when she wants to be, she wouldn’t even talk to you until you told her you had called the Crockerberts over to help.

It’s been almost a week since you got in your scrape with Ult, and it’s almost time to get your stitches removed. The Hero League told you to come in today around noon to have that new doctor remove your stitches. You couldn’t be more excited to finally get out of the house, you were starting to get cabin fever. You were pacing and attempting to clean everything, though Jane put a stop to that and sent you off to the couch to watch television. Which, normally you wouldn’t complain about, John and Jade have fantastic movie tastes and they enjoy your favorites as well. But sitting on the couch is starting to make you feel itchy and antsy. So when John tells you he’s going to walk with you to The League, you hop up in excitement.

The two of you are walking down the street, and you’re excitedly looking around. It isn’t very often you go out on the town as a civilian, it’s nice being surrounded by so many people, seeing people going about their day, safe and happy because of the work you do.

“Thank you for helping out with Jade. I know it makes her happy to have one of her best mates visit. It’s the happiest I’ve seen her in far too long.” You tell John, nudging the shorter man with your elbow.

“I’m always happy to see her, she’s my best friend, basically a sister to me at this point. I know I couldn’t be there the entire time because of our job, but it felt nice to see her. I need to visit more. I just feel guilty sometimes. That I wasn’t there to help her. I don’t know if I could have done anything, but the fact that I wasn’t there to try has been eating away at me. They originally called me to be there with her that day.” John admits. “I couldn’t go, dad was sick and…I should’ve been there for her. She would have dropped everything to help me out and I…”

“John, you were helping your family, sometimes we have to make choices. You made a choice, you had no idea of the outcome. None of us did. I was there and she still got hurt. I don’t know if any of us could have prevented it. Not even one of the top heroes like you.” You nudge his arm again and smile at him. You know that it’s been hard on him, seeing his best friend paralyzed and feeling helpless. “These past few days have been amazing with her. She was smiling and laughing and she didn’t seem to be so…depressed. I think it helped to have you around. So instead of dwelling on the past, why don’t you just come over more? Invite your little group of friends over and spend time with her. I think that’ll help more than anything. I love my sister, and I know she loves me, but I do think she might be getting tired of me pestering her all the time.”

John laughs. “I think that’s a great idea. Dave and Rose know she got caught up in a villain attack, but they don’t know that she’s a hero. So just keep work talk on the dl.” The two of you walk into the Hero League building. It towers over the other buildings, directly in the center of the city. Most heroes for the country are based out of the capital city of Skaia, where you currently live. Needless to say, it is a very busy building. People move in and out, and security guards are stationed near the elevators, checking visitor passes and the identities of the heroes. They know your face, as well as John’s so the two of you are easily allowed onto an elevator.

“That new doctor is pretty cool. I think he’s powerless, either that or he has an intelligence-based power. I honestly don’t know. I had to come to see him a few days ago. Got a bad burn when I was putting out a forest fire a few states away.” He pats his side to show you where the burn is. “But he’s cool, he’s actually Dave’s big brother! I bet you two will get along well.” John rambles on as the elevator goes up floor after floor. You lean against the handrails on the walls, squeezing them until your knuckles turn right. You hate elevators, the devil’s invention you call them. They’re just death traps. Plus you’ve never done well in enclosed spaces like this. You’re not John, who can fly, or one of those heroes who can take blunt damage like a thirty-story fall. Sometimes you wonder if that vulnerability is what makes these elevator rides so blasted torturous.

“Oh yes, he seemed like a mighty fine bloke when I spoke to him in the hospital. I bet we will get on just fine.” You watch the numbers on the screen change until you finally reach floor forty. The doors seemingly take forever to open, but once they are you rush out of the elevator. Taking a deep, shaking breath, you steel your nerves and walk into the medical wing. John stays on the elevator, probably going to his sector to work with his team, or going to the basement to train.

“There you are, Gunman. I wondered if you were going to show up.” The doctor is leaning against the desk located at the front of the medical wing. He has his hair in that same spiked-up style you saw before, his clothes are a little more casual now though. He’s wearing a black t-shirt with an orange cap printed on it, and skinny jeans that show off his nice long legs. He seems much more muscular than you had noticed before. His thighs are strong and his biceps are large, the tightness of his shirt only seems to accentuate his arms and his tiny little waist. Good heavens this man has nice pecs.

You swallow slightly, trying to wrangle your thoughts into submission. You need to stop ogling this man. “Oh yes, sorry about that, old chap. I hope I’m not too late.” You push your glasses up nervously, you can feel your face heating up slightly, you just hope your blush isn’t too noticeable.

“Nah I’m just messing with you, bro. Come on. Let’s get those nasty stitches taken out.” He motions for you to follow him and you do without question. He walks you into one of the rooms and you’re met with a wave of sterile scents. Cleaning supplies and disinfectants were used recently, though you don’t expect anything else. The medical wing has always been a top-notch medical center. They can’t have the country’s heroes going around getting nasty infections.

You sit down on the examination table, the stitches in your legs are visible with the length of your shorts, but you have to remove your jacket so he has access to the ones on your arm. You watch as he washes his hands, they’re long and skinny and you can almost make out the veins on the back of his hands. You notice he has a lot of scarring on his arms as well. You wonder how he got them.

“Alright, this won’t take too long. You should be good to get back to work after this as long as they’re not causing you any pain.” He pushes a rolling stool close to you with his foot and sits on it, positioning himself between your legs. He cuts the stitches and pulls them out. The sensation is odd, but not painful. He works quickly, his fingers are nimble and experienced.

“No, they don’t seem to. I am happy as a clam to get back to work. I do believe that I’ll need to have Kanya fit me with more protective gear. It is my fault for insisting on wearing the get-up I designed on my own. I should have taken her up on it in the first place. There’s no reason I should be fighting crime in essentially my skivvies.”

He lets out a puff of air from his nose, and you hope that’s a laugh. He stands up and removes the stitches from your arm. “I’ll be honest, your costume is ridiculous. I’d like to see what you end up changing it to though.” He starts disinfecting the areas. “So, what made you want to be a hero anyway?”

“Oh goodness, I do get asked that quite a bit. I usually say that I want to help people. Though, I do want that. The real reason is…I just wanted to be a hero. I grew up on an island with just me and my sister. We were the only two people we knew, other than our grandparents but they passed when I was very young. I used to watch old movies and documentaries of heroes and it looked so bloody amazing. All that adventure and the love they got from people. It made me want that too. I wanted to feel…important I guess? It’s probably a selfish reason if I’m being honest. But I wouldn’t take back my decision to become a hero for anything. If I can save even one person’s life, that is more than I can dream of. It makes me happy helping others. And…I’ve seen the aftermath of villain attacks for myself. My sister got very badly hurt in one, leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. She’s been highly depressed since…and well, I want to avoid anyone else getting hurt like that. I was lucky I didn’t lose her that day.” You watch as his hands still for a second. His gorgeous orange eyes are wide behind his circle glasses. Then he turns around, walks to the trash can, and throws away his gloves.

“Well, I think that’s pretty admirable if you ask me.” He tells you, shoving his hands in his pockets. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to save people.”

“You’re absolutely right!” You stand up with a bright smile. “Oh! John told me that you’re Dave’s older brother. My sister is Jade! Do you think you could ask him if he’d come to see her soon? I think she misses them. She’s still frightened to go outside, and being cooped up with me just isn’t helping her I think.”

“I get that, Dave’s got his troubles, and being stuck with just me in the house doesn’t help all too much. I’ll talk to him about it. I know he’s been worried sick about her. He feels kind of at a loss. I keep telling him he just needs to keep being there for her for support, but he doesn’t feel like it’s enough.” You watch Dirk lean against the counter. The more you take in him, the more familiar he seems. You realize he looks quite a bit like Puppet Master, a hero from when you were younger. His movies were ones you used to watch back on your island.

“You look like Puppet Master.” You blurt out and inwardly cringe at yourself for the sudden topic change. You watch as he stiffens up ever so slightly, his shoulders hitched up close to his ears.

“Yeah. He was my dad, so…” He looks away, his orange eyes filled with sadness as he trails off.

“Oh, good heavens, I am so sorry. I had no idea, if I knew I wouldn’t have brought him up. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about him.” You still remember watching the news the day that Puppet Master was killed. It was Ult that killed him. He was able to manipulate Puppetmaster’s strings and wound them around his neck until the hero fell to the ground, his head following soon after. It was a televised attack, you were resting at home after having been out all night on patrol. They cut the footage after that. It was a big blow to heroes everywhere, losing the most powerful of them. Everyone is still terrified that villains are going to be more prominent now that he’s gone. No one knew who Ult was before that, it was a hell of a way to make a name for himself.

“It’s fine.” Dirk’s words are curt, you can tell he’s getting uncomfortable talking about this.

“That bastard took a lot from us. He’s the one who hurt Jade you know. He sent a sword straight through her and into her spine…I want to arrest him. I thought I was going to. Turns out it was just a blasted copy. I want to see him behind bars, more than anything. He’s hurt too many of the people I care about, and too many of the people I work with. All we want is to do good, so why does he do this? I’ll give the bloke some credit, he isn’t attacking civilians, but good god what does he have against us?”

“I don’t know. Everyone has their reasons for things. He probably thinks this is justified. Though, I can’t imagine anyone being able to live with themselves after hurting someone like Jade. I met her a few times, she is the kindest girl I have ever met. There’s gotta be something royally fucked up with someone who’d hurt her.”

Chapter Text

Kanaya apparently had a costume already made for you, prepared for the day when you drag yourself to her office, begging to be more protected. You’re glad you did because you love your new costume. You have a green helmet that allows you to zoom your vision in so you can take a more accurate aim, it also corrects your vision so you don’t need your glasses with it. With your power, you’re able to hit anything you see, however, you can’t be pinpoint accurate with it. Now, you’ll be able to zoom in and hit exactly where you want. There’s a little antenna on the top of the helmet that transmits your video back to headquarters so the other heroes will be able to go over the footage and attempt to get better readings from the villains. She also had you fitted for a Kevlar undersuit, it’s somewhat bulky, but it covers all of you, from your neck to your ankles. Over that, you have little tiny cargo shorts so that you can reach the holsters on your thighs without anything getting in the way. You also have a military-esque look to your shirt, it’s tight-fitted, and you have straps covering your biceps with holsters for knives. Your power allows you to use knives as well, which is great for short-range battles, but you prefer guns. On the front of the shirt is a green skull that looks like your helmet. The best part about your new costume, however, is the jetpack. You love every part of it.

You’re perched atop a skyscraper, looking down at the city. You’re only patrolling tonight, taking things a little easier after your scrape with Ult. There has been no word about a villain attack, Signless has been surveying local villain hangouts, using his powers to overhear talk about attacks. But he’s heard nothing these past couple of days. So it seems like today is going to go smoothly.

You stretch your arms slightly, getting the tension out of your shoulders. You grab the jetpack strap and press a button, you shoot up five feet into the air, and glide down to a smaller rooftop on the other side of the street. Your feet hit the concrete roof and you push the button again, turning it off. Walking to the edge of the building, you look down and you freeze.

You see Ult standing in a dark alley, his bright magenta costume almost glows in the dim moonlight. He’s standing with his back against the brick wall, talking to a shorter man, whose body is at an angle, facing Ult. The man is wearing an all-red suit, talking about something. His face is obscured with a black cloth mask that is pulled up to his nose, and a black metallic bar with a screen that flashes some sort of red light, right over his eyes.

Zooming in with the camera on your helmet, you try to get a good video of the two. This is the first confirmation that anyone has gotten that Ult is working with a partner. Maybe you can get someone back at The League to read Ult’s lips, you can’t personally make anything out. The shorter man is talking with his hands, he’s standing to the side of Ult, but the older villain just seems bored with the conversation. That is until he looks up and makes eye contact with you. Ash rises from his, now, outstretched hand, curling in the wind, and goes past you.

Air displaces behind you and you turn on your heels. One of his splinters is behind you, sword raised. You barely dodge before he swings his katana. It would have hit you right across the chest. You jump and fly with your jetpack, just out of reach of the copy. You take your pistols out of the holsters and aim right for his head, zooming in with the camera and shooting him between the eyes. Perfect hit.

You watch the ash make its way back to Ult. You turn in the air and watch as it gathers in his palm. The shorter man is gone now, you don’t have time to find him before you feel yourself being pulled back, your body forced into reverse. You watch in fear as you fly back to the ground, your movements completely out of control, your pistols go back in their holster, you land on the roof, and you move back to where you were standing before you dodged. Even the ash from the copy has flown from Ult’s hand and you’re watching as it flies past you again. It’s like someone just rewound time.

You’re standing in front of the copy again, this time the sword hits you across the chest. You’re surprised that you aren’t bleeding, your new shirt is ripped, but that’s it. Is Ult pulling his punches now?

You can’t focus on that right now either, because the copy is moving closer to you. You grab your pistols back out of their holster and shoot at him, not even trying to get pinpoint accurate this time. You need the copy to die. You get a pretty good hit on his arm before he disintegrates again, the ash flying away to a different location, quickly becoming invisible in the wind. The time rewind doesn’t happen this time. When you turn around, Ult is gone. He got away again.

“Bullocks” You curse under your breath. Your mind is still reeling from the sudden shift, you wonder if that other man had anything to do with that. You’ve never seen Ult do anything like that before.

– – –

Signless has been reviewing your video for two hours now. You went straight to The League the moment your parole was done. You had to make sure someone knew about this new potential villain. Signless is The League's best analyst, he’s been able to accurately guess a villain’s power almost 90% of the time. It’s a major asset to have.

“Jacob, I do believe it is the other man using that power. It seems as though it is some sort of time power, whether it is just a reversal of time or complete control over it, I am not sure. But it does not seem to be the same as Ult’s usual reality warping.” You watch as he leans back in the computer chair, crossing his arms as he looks up to you where you’re standing. He messes with a loose string on his red sweater.

“Okay, well what do we do about him, Kankri?” You ask him.

“There is not much we can do right now. If we were able to figure out his identity, then perhaps we could bring him in for questioning, knowing he has some sort of connection to Ult. But other than that, we can assume Ult is now teaming up with him. If we could find a weakness in this time manipulation, we could learn to fight against it. But until then, we need to make the other heroes aware of this man’s power so that they can prepare themselves. You weren’t expecting it, and it threw you off. You almost got hurt. We cannot let that happen again.” Kankri explains.

“Of course.” Finally taking a seat in a chair, you lean back in it. “So, time powers. That’s new. I haven’t heard of anyone with those before. Then again, I haven’t seen anyone with some of Ult’s powers either.”

“Yes, that is what is most worrying. I am unsure if this man has any other powers either. I wasn’t able to see him anywhere else on the feed, other than in the alley. He did a rather good job of hiding his face as well. I am interested in what the screen was displaying, he was standing at too odd of an angle for me to see it. Next time I scout, I’ll be sure to listen for anyone matching that description as well. At the very least we might catch his name, it might help us find him. For now, it is morning and you should go talk to Kanaya about getting your shirt mended.”

You know when you’re being dismissed. You make your way down the few flights of stairs and walk into Kanaya’s office. Most of the lights are off, except for one in the back. The white light that shines on her reflects slightly off of her silk jade green hijab. She always looks so effortlessly ethereal. Her makeup is perfect, slick winged eyeliner, light green iridescent eyeshadow, and perfectly applied black lipstick. She’s like a goddess every time you see her. Her thin hands work quickly as she pushes fabric through her sewing machine. She doesn’t look up at you as she speaks.

“Gunman, I assume you’ve already messed up your costume that I worked so terribly hard on?”

“Yes, I got in a bit of a scrape with Ult last night, thankfully the only casualty was my shirt.” You take off the ripped shirt and hold it out to her.

“Oh dear.” She looks up. “I did rather like it. But it’s fine. You don’t have to wear the shirt, I just thought you might find it more comfortable. You should be fine without it for now. I have to adjust Gustbuster’s costume, he’s learned how to do something new and destroyed all my hard work. Slicing things with wind you can’t control causes one to get hurt as well.”

“Golly, is he okay?”

“Yes, he is fine, a few scratches, but nothing bad thankfully. His costume was destroyed though.”

“I’m glad he’s doing okay”

Chapter Text

You make your way into your apartment, placing the keys into a bowl near the door. You are exhausted, and hungry. You want to lie down on your bed and pass out for a while. Walking into the living room, you see Jade in her wheelchair, sitting next to the couch that has her three friends sitting on it. Dave is perched on the arm of the couch, hunched over and showing Jade something on her phone. John is next to Dave, sitting up on his knees and leaning over Dave’s back to see the screen. You can see a few bandages showing under his shirt where it is riding up in the back. Rose is sitting, perfectly poised, on the other end of the couch, watching the three with a soft smile.

“What a sight to see! It’s been far too long since you all have been here. I’ll be honest I’m rather knackered right now, or else I’d stay and talk to you all a little bit more” You can’t help but smile. Jade looks so happy right now. You couldn’t wish for anything more.

“Yo, dude come look at this dog first!” Dave calls to you, not bothering to look over his shoulder. He has his shades pushed back, resting on top of his head so you can see those bright red eyes of his. You can kind of see the familial resemblance to Dirk now, they both have the same oddly colored eyes, and same strong nose.

“I do love a good dog” You walk over and look at his phone, it’s a video of a dog taking his toys to the food bowl so they can eat with him. It is the most adorable thing you have ever seen. You listen as Jade giggles, her smile brightening as she watches with you all. “That is adorable!”

“It is!” Jade laughs happily, hunched over from laughing so much. She’s starting to act like herself now. You wish you could make her this happy. You know you aren’t the best caretaker, you have no idea what you’re doing. You didn’t know what you were doing at all when she came into your life, you’ve learned things as you’ve gotten older. But it feels like you're in over your depth here.

“Dude, let the poor man sleep.” You turn on your heels and see Dirk standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Hey, man. Dave needed a ride over here, thought I’d hang with them for a while. Hope that’s okay.”

“That is just dandy, Strider! You’re always welcome here. Though, I'm sorry I can’t hang out more. I had to stay late at work last night. I should be up in a few hours, if you all are still here maybe I can get us some pizza and we can watch some movies?”

“That sounds dope.” Dirk shrugs, but you can see a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Wonderful! I’m off then.” You walk down the hallway to your room and you swear you can feel Dirk’s eyes on you. You want to turn around and confirm it, but you’re worried. Why would he even be looking at you, anyway?

– – –

You wake up from your nap and stand up, stretching out your sore muscles. You grab a pair of pajama pants and your glasses and slip them on so you don’t walk out in your boxers. You hate sleeping with clothes on, it feels too restricting. Walking out of your room you scratch at your bare chest a little, your chest hairs tickling your fingertips as you do.

You step into the living room and see they’re all still there. Dirk is perched on top of the couch, his feet resting on the cushions. The younger ones are crowded around Jane. Rose is kneeling at her side, painting her nails, while Dave and John are braiding her hair. It looks awful, but the smile on Jade’s face is worth it.

Dirk turns around when he hears you walk closer, you watch his eyes widen and a soft dusting of pink appears on his cheeks. “Dude.”

“What?” You feel a little smug as you watch his orange eyes trail over your chest, his blush getting brighter. His Adam's apple bobs a little when he swallows. Your heart flutters a little, you didn’t think you would have such a strong effect on him, but now that you do, you feel a little hopeful. You thought he was attractive when you first met him in the hospital, but you didn’t know if you’d have a chance with him. Not everyone is into men, and it’s easier to assume they’re not rather than getting your hopes up and ending up getting heartbroken.

“Nothin', you always walk around half naked?” Dirk turns around so his legs are dangling off the back of the couch.

“Only after I wake up,” You tell him and step a little closer. You watch as he sits straighter, looking at you with apprehensive eyes.

He hums and licks his lips. You’re infatuated with his lips, they’re big and plump and have this natural pink to them that almost looks like he’s wearing tinted lip balm. You want to kiss him so badly right now. He licks his lips again, and you see a hint of a tongue piercing. The thought of feeling it against your tongue sends electricity through you.

“Well, what would you all like to eat?” You look at the clock and realize it’s pretty late in the afternoon, and you haven’t eaten in almost twenty-four hours. That isn’t normal for you, and you can feel it. Your stomach feels a little nauseated with how empty it is, you’ll need to eat soon.

“Pizza!” Jade smiles happily, you can’t say no to her, and the rest of her friends cheer in agreement.

“Perfect, the usuals?” You pull your phone out when they tell you yes. “What about you, Dirk? What do you like?”

“Pepperoni is good, extra cheese” He hops off the couch and walks over to you, his hands sliding into his pockets.

“Alright,” You type away on your phone and put the order in. “It’ll be here soon,” You tell them, and they all thank you.

“Mind if I hang with you for a while? I feel old hanging out with the kids” Dirk’s eyes are still on your chest, not even bothering to pretend to look at you.

“Of course, I don’t mind. I’m going to go make some tea, do you want anything?” You walk to the kitchen and he trails behind you. You listen to him pull out a chair from the kitchen table and sit in it while you start the kettle.

“Nah, I’m good.” You turn to look at him, leaning against the counter. “So, I heard you had another run-in with Ult last night. You didn’t get hurt did you?”

“Thankfully no, I don’t know why but it felt like he was going easy on me. I think I might have just caught him off guard. My shirt got ruined, which I feel bad about, but Kanaya said just to wear the Kevlar suit instead. I’m still going to wear the shorts though, that suit is tighter than my last costume.” You walk over and sit in the chair across from him.

“Glad you didn’t get hurt. Don’t want you to ruin all the hard work I put into saving you.” He smirks a little.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, chickadee.” You watch as his entire face turns red, he turns his head away like he can hide the blush if he just doesn’t look at you.

“So what exactly happened?” He asks you quietly, almost hesitantly.

“Well, I was on patrol and I saw Ult and some new guy in an alley. He sent one of his copies after me, I shot at it and this thing happened. It was like when you push rewind on a VHS, every little thing went in reverse and I was back to facing them in the alley. I turned around too slowly and the copy sliced me. By the time I got the copy off of me, they were both gone. I don’t fully understand what happened, I’m pretty sure that the new guy has some sort of time power or something. Kankri seems to think it’s total time manipulation, but that’s just his theory, there's no proof of it yet. At the very least we know he can rewind time, but we don’t know the extent of it yet. We’ve all had our theories that Ult has a partner or two, but this is the first time it’s been confirmed. We thought he had a partner to make his copies, but honestly, I’m starting to think it’s him. He has at least three different powers, and we have no idea how. Most people only have one, and maybe subsets of that power. But that’s it. It makes me nervous because I don’t know what to expect from him. What if there’s more? What if someone else gets hurt because we know nothing about them? I already let Jade get hurt on my watch, I don’t want it to happen again.”

Dirk looks at you seriously for a second, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Well, I think you’re doing your best. You care about other people, and what you’re doing. I think that’s all that matters right? You may not have all the answers, but you can trust that you’re doing something good. You’re doing what you can. All we can hope for is no one else ends up getting hurt. I know I don’t want to see anyone else get hurt like Jade did. And I know you’ll do everything in your power to make sure no one else gets hurt. You’re a good person, Jake. And I think you’re the only true hero out there.”

Chapter Text

You’re on patrol again, and you can’t stop thinking about Dirk’s words. You’re the only true hero out there. You don’t know what he meant by that, there are plenty of heroes who are far better than you, who can save more people than you can. You don’t feel like you’re changing anyone’s life. You hope you are, you want to live up to Dirk’s expectations.

Leaning against a brick wall, you take in a deep breath. You need to stop dwelling on this, if Dirk thinks you’re great, maybe you are. For now, you should focus on keeping an eye out for anything going down.

You peek around the corner of the alley you’re in and watch as civilians wander the streets. The people you’re protecting so they can go about their daily lives as safe as ever. There are so many villains out there, you’ve put several away, had your life put in danger for total strangers, and you keep doing it again, night after night. There’s villains out there who just grab the closest civilian out there and use them as a hostage, Ult’s never done that before. Infact, sometimes it seems like he goes out of his way to make sure his fights are away from civilians.

Are you getting too worked up over Ult? He’s never hurt a civilian before, never taken a hostage, never even stolen anything. You still don’t understand what his angle is. Is it some sort of commentary on hero society that you’re just not getting? Or is it some egotistical maniac’s way of making a name for himself?

You turn around and gasp a little when you come face to face with Ult. He towers over you, he gives off an aura of danger, and it keeps you in your place. You notice that he has something covering his face now, some sort of metal device that covers his mouth and nose so that all of his face is hidden. He’s also wearing tight deep magenta sleeves under his usual sleeveless attire. What are you supposed to do right now? You could run, you don’t even know if this is the real Ult, he could just be a splinter.

“I want to talk to you, Gunman.” The voice that comes out is robotic, and pitched down, probably to distort his real voice.

“Why should we talk?” You reach for your guns and suddenly find him grabbing your wrists and pinning them over your head against the wall. He’s much stronger than you, his large biceps flexed as he holds your wrists with one hand. You’re not exactly a small man, but Ult is making you feel miniscule. He has you trapped, you try to get out of his grasp but he holds you in place with ease. The backs of your hands are scrapping on the brick, rubbing them raw as you try to get away.

“You aren’t going to shoot me, Gunman. And I’m not going to hurt you. Not tonight. I just want to talk.” His grip on your wrists tightens and you know they’re going bruise.

“Then talk. I can’t exactly go anywhere.” You sneer at him, you know he can’t see your glare behind your helmet, but at the very least your voice is conveying your disdain for him.

“Exactly how much did you see last night?” His shoulders are stiff, his posture upright and egotistical. You hate him. You hate his man. You want to kill him. You won’t though, you’ve never taken a life, and you don’t plan on letting this man ruin your life more than he already has.

“Does it matter? I saw enough to confirm you have a partner or at least someone you’re working with. That’s all we need to know. I will find out who he is, and when I do, I am going to find you. You’re going to go to jail, Ult. If it was up to me I’d kill you right now. After what you did to Space-Time. You almost killed her.” He looks away from your venomous words. He’s probably pissed off that he didn’t finish the job. You let out an angry growl, rearing your head back and headbutting him with your metal helmet. He staggers back, holding his face. You can see blood slipping down past his mouthpiece and along his neck. You probably broke his nose, but you don’t care. He let you out of his grasp.

You grab your guns and aim them at him. You can’t let him get away again. You have to end this now, while he’s distracted. You pull the trigger, aiming at his leg. As much as you want to kill him, you know you can’t do that. He isn’t threatening anyone. Not even you. But he’s dangerous, he’s a wanted man. If you can stop him, at the very least you can bring him in.

You pull the triggers. It happens too fast for you to understand what exactly happens next. You feel pain blooming in your chest as if you’ve been hit by a truck. You know the bullet didn’t go through you, but the impact from the Kevlar suit hurts like the dickens. A second later, you feel a hit in the same place. The sharp quick pain of a bullet hitting through your chest. It doesn’t hurt as much as it should, maybe your adrenaline is too high to feel the pain, but you can tell you’re losing a lot of blood.

Your vision has black creeping at the edges as you fall to the ground.

“Shit, SHIT” You hear Ult’s repulsive robotic voice through the ringing in your ears. “9000, get Clockwork here, NOW.” Who is he talking to? It’s just the two of you here, in this alley. Alone. You’re going to die here. You hope someone back at headquarters is watching this. Maybe they can send someone to get you. So your body is found faster. Your hands are starting to feel cold.

“Dude, what the hell happened?” Another robotic voice, you don’t know this one. You try to look, but your vision is too blurry and too dark.

“He shot at me, I reacted. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Reverse it.” Ult tells the other voice.

“If I do that, you’re going to get shot. I’d rather this hero die than have you hurt. Not my fault you’ve got some sort of obsession with him, man.”

“Fuck, fine. We gotta go. I gotta get back home and get outta this fucking costume. 9000, make sure he has someone coming to get him. I don’t want him to die.”

“Dude, let’s go. I get he’s your boyfriend or whatever, but if you’re making sure he gets back up, we gotta ollie outtie right the fuck now.”

You can’t hear them leave, but you know they have. You don’t know how long you lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness before you finally feel someone lift your limp body from the ground. The pain of moving is too much, and finally, the darkness takes you.

– – –

You hear people talking over you, bright light shining through your eyelids. They’re too heavy to open, your entire body feels too weak. You try to focus on what they’re saying, but it’s too hard. You only get a few words.

“Shot…barely missed his heart…artery…” The few words you catch don’t sound very good. You can’t bring yourself to stay awake much longer.

– – –

The bright lights are back. You’re still too weak to open your eyes, but you can tell you’re getting a little stronger, you can focus in on a conversation happening around you.

“Jane’s on her way, she stopped by his apartment to get Jade. They should be here soon. I don’t know if he’ll be up anytime soon though. You should let him rest. I don’t think he needs a lecture as soon as he wakes up. Stress isn’t going to help him get any better.” It’s Dirk’s voice. Who is he talking to?

“I understand you are his doctor, however, I am his boss and I need to speak to him. Send me a message as soon as he wakes up. I don’t care who’s in here with him. We have questions.” Oh, it’s Kankri. Are you in trouble? You hope not. You hear a door close and footsteps move closer to you.

Suddenly something is taking your hand, you realize it’s someone else’s hand. It’s warm and slightly callused. It fits in your own perfectly.

“You didn’t deserve this.” Dirk’s voice is soft, spoken barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“ S’ not your fault, chickadee.” You barely manage to get your voice out, it’s raw and raspy, but you don’t want Dirk to feel bad right now. You struggle, but eventually, you’re able to open your eyes. Dirk is close enough to where you can see most of him, even if it’s through a slight haze. You can’t make out his features, which is disappointing. You wanted to see his face.

“You need to rest.” He pulls his hand away and you feel cold and empty.

“Go ahead and send Kankri back in here. I am going to worry my blasted ass off if I don’t find out what he bloody wants to talk about.” You can’t quite sit up without feeling pain shooting through you, so you resign to continue lying down.

“Jake, you were shot in the chest. It hit an artery right next to your heart. You don’t need stress right now. You need to relax and rest. We were able to fix it, and you’re going to be fine. But right now he doesn’t need to be bothering you with anything.”

“Consarn it, Dirk! I know I don’t need the stress, but clearly, something happened. Whatever he saw on the video from my helmet probably warrants a discussion. I don’t remember much of what happened after I got shot.”

“Your helmet has a camera?”

“Yes, it streams everything I see straight to headquarters where they go over it after patrol. Maybe someone watches it during? I honestly don’t remember right now.”

“Oh, well. That’s good. To have protocols in place like that. So they saw everything?” He asks.

“As far as I know, yes. Which is why I’m wondering what I did wrong. Maybe it was because he caught me off guard, and had me trapped. I don’t know. But I need to know what this is about.”

“I’ll go get him then…Jade should be here soon.”

“Good. I want to see her” You lean your head back when Dirk walks out.

“Jacob. I am glad to see you awake. It’s been three days. They said you were in and out of consciousness. I was worried.” Kankri speaks up when he walks in.

“Just get to the point, Kankri.”

“Yes, well. After going through the footage several times I noticed something about the conversation that Ult had with his partner. He said he has some sort of obsession with you, and the partner also referred to you as his boyfriend. It calls to question what he could’ve possibly meant by this. While I am sure it was some sort of exaggeration concerning his obsession with you, I do need to clarify. Do you have some sort of romantic or sexual relationship with Ult?”

You’re gobsmacked, the nerve that Kankri has to ask you this. “Of course, I don’t have a bloody relationship with him! I despise that man, he almost killed my sister! Why in the world would I EVER have anything to do with him? He’s disgusting, he’s a murderer and a villain. The only thing I want to do with him is arrest him.”

“Thank you for clarifying. I assumed that was the case, but the higher-ups wanted me to clarify. You know I hate having to ask things like that. It isn’t my place to get the sordid details of your personal life. And while I simply tolerate working with you, I do not wish to learn more about you than professionally necessary. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I do need to get going. I need to turn in your statement to the board. They have begun to train me to take over for Puppet Master’s open position and I would like to show them how this was handled.” He turns back around and walks out. Kankri is as insufferable as ever. You know he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t like how you dress, or how loud you are. You don’t like him either. The way he acts as if he is better than everyone is frustrating to no end. You’ve talked to his younger brother, Karkat, enough to know it’s just an act that he puts on to make people think he’s worth more than he is. It’s all fake smiles and even faker intelligence.

Hah, if only Dirk knew that the only real hero out there was bitterly holding a grudge over someone like Kankri. All because he’s respected. Treated as if he’s doing something better than everyone else. He’s seen as intelligent and brave. People see you as some ditzy boy with dreams bigger than he is. Perhaps you were when you first started. Barely eighteen, and as skinny as a rail. Ten years later you’ve grown quite a bit, and gained a fair amount of muscle (one or two suitors have told you how much they love your burly chest and nice big biceps) you’ve also gained a few inches of height. You look older, but you’re still that starry-eyed island boy. Maybe you’re not meant to be a hero. Your power isn’t that impressive, anyone good with guns could take your spot, no problem.

Jade could have been an amazing hero, her power was incredible, it allowed her to stop a fight before it ever really started. She could trap villains within air, but Ult took that from her. Took the opportunity to be a hero right from under her. She deserved better. You wish you could switch places with her, so you were the one who was hurt, and not her. You’ll be fine after you recover, but Jade never will. She’ll never be able to walk again, and it eats you up inside. She’s cried to you countless times, telling you how useless she feels now. It’s only recently that she’s been able to really start taking care of herself. She’s always been strong, but depression is hard. It prevented her from making any progress. You’re thankful for her friends for being able to help her through it though. They actually helped her, unlike you who was floundering, unable to help your little sister when she needed it most.

You were there with her, when she got hurt. You screamed a warning at her when you saw Ult throw his sword, you were running towards her, trying to move fast enough to get in the way, or push her, anything to keep her safe. But you were too slow. The sound of her scream still keeps you up at night.

You just want to be a good hero, you want to save people, you want to HELP someone, anyone. But you don’t. Why are you even still trying to do good? All you’re doing anymore is getting yourself hurt and worrying Jade. Dammit, what the hell is wrong with you? You haven’t taken down a criminal or a villian in months. What’s the point anymore? Maybe you should just give this up, find a real job.

“Jake?” Jade wheels over to you, you try to hide the tears that have started forming in your eyes, making your vision even worse.

“Hey Jade. I’m sorry if I scared you, Dirk says I’m going to be okay though.” She reaches out and squeezes your hand tightly.

“I was scared, but I’m glad you’re going to be okay. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I know, and I’m really sorry Jade. I was being carful, but his powers are just too bloody hard for me to predict.” You squeeze her hand back, her thumb rubbing circles against the back of your hand.

“He’s scary, Jake. I don’t like that he keeps finding you.”

“I don’t like it much either. Maybe I should just quit. I’m not doing much good anymore.” You tell her, leaning back and closing your eyes. The fuzzy look of everything is starting to make your head hurt.

“Absolutely not. I understand that things are harad right now, but you are not going to quit. You do good, Jake. You help out at headquarters all the time, you spend time with Kankri going over your videos, you help John with his training, everytime you go on patrol you watch for things other than villains. There are very few heroes out there who actually pay attention to the civilian criminals. You protect the little people, not just the ones who are in the way of a villain. You help so many people every single day. You help ME every single day. I see how happy it makes you to come home, knowing you saved at least one person, made at least one person’s day better. You’re a good hero, you cannot quit just because you’ve decided you aren’t good enough. Because you ARE good enough.” Her voice is so strong and sure.

“Thank you, Jade. You always know how to put me in my place when I’m being tad bit crazy.” You smile gently, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes again. It really means a lot to you that she thinks so much of you. You worry sometimes that she just puts up with you, but knowing she thinks you’re a good hero, and that you help her, is more than you deserve.

“Well Jake, if you’re done wallowing in your own self pity, I brought some cake for you.” Jane comes over and places a plastic wrapped plate in your hands. It’s german chocolate cake. You’re favorite.

“Jane, thank you” You unwrap the cake and eat it. “Oh goodheavens it’s amazing as always!” You look in her direction with a smile. You don’t deserve these girls, they’re too good.

Chapter Text

Twelve Weeks. Dirk told you it would take twelve weeks to fully recover. You’ve been instructed to take walks, and not rest for too long, your artery needs to get used to pumping harder or something. You don’t fully listen when he tells you this.

It’s been a little over one week already and you’re back home finally. Thankfully you’re able to resume most of your normal life, minus working and training. You still plan on going to The League and making plans with the other heroes, learning about new intel, and plans on how to help civilians with the rise in petty crimes.

You’re currently in the kitchen making dinner for Jade and her friends. They’ve been coming over almost every day to check on her. When you were in the hospital, Rose stayed with Jade and helped her. Jane would come over and bring food and drive Jade over to see you since Rose doesn’t drive in the city. You owe so much to her friends, they’ve helped more than you ever expected.

Dirk is coming over today as well, you managed to get his chumhandle on your last day at the hospital. You told him you wanted to be on friendlier terms with him, especially since Dave and Jade are so close. You want to have a friend of your own, though if you’re being completely honest with yourself, you want more than just friendship from him.

The more you’ve gotten to know Dirk, the more you find yourself falling for him. He’s a little weird, socially awkward, and a genius. He builds robots and programs in his free time. He got a full ride to some big-shot medical school, graduated high school at fourteen, and took care of Dave on his own. He’s an amazing bloke. He also really likes horses and My Little Pony, and is obsessed with anime. He’s such a dork that it surprised you a little. You expected him to be rugged and cool, but in reality, he’s just an introverted nerd. You love that about him.

You’re stirring a pot of soup, it isn’t anything special, but it easily feeds the six people who are going to eat dinner here. You’re rather proud of your vegetable soup though. It’s a recipe you used to make back on your island when Jade would grow her crops. It’s easy to make and freezes well so you never had to worry about it going bad.

The door opens and you hear Dirk greet the kids. A smile finds its way on your lips as you hear him banter back and forth with Dave. You love hearing him speak, his voice is deep and sarcastic, laced with a slight hint of a southern drawl. His laugh echoes through the flat and it makes your heart flutter. It isn’t the monotonous laugh he usually gives around people he doesn’t know. It’s his real laugh, boisterous and loud with little snorts. You’ve only heard it a few times yourself, but every time you hear it, it's like hearing angels sing.

“Hey man, how’re you feeling?” Dirk asks from behind you. You turn and see him leaning on the doorway, smiling ever so slightly at you. He has a single dimple on his right cheek that shows. You hadn’t noticed it before, but now you’ll never forget it.

“Right as rain. Still a tad bit weak, but I finished up the blood transfusions so I should be back up to snuff soon. My back’s a little sore because someone told me I have to sleep with my legs elevated. Not quite my usual sleeping arrangement so my old tired body is getting used to it.”

“Well, you gotta keep doing it if you wanna heal right? You do seem to be doing better though. You’ll be back out on the streets again in no time.” Dirk chuckles and walks over to your side, leaning against the counter and looking at the pot of soup.

“You make it sound like I go out selling my body.” You can’t help but laugh at the blush that appears on his cheeks. “Try this for me.” You grab a spoon and dip it in the soup. You blow on it to cool it off and hold it out to him. You watch as he opens his mouth, you can see the metal ball of his piercing and hear it as it clinks against the metal spoon.

“Dude, that’s amazing. Never knew soup could be so damn good.” You turn your eyes to his own, trying to not think about how he fellates the spoon.

“I’m so glad you like it, I used to make this all the time back on our island”

“You got yourself a private island? Damn, I knew you heroes got paid a lot, didn’t think it was like that.” Dirk tosses the spoon in the sink.

“Oh no, nothing like that. My Grandmother and Grandfather owned the island, which I guess they were rich enough to own. Though we never really saw the money. We had a rather swell house. It was just Jade and I until I was eighteen and moved here.

“Your grandparents left two kids alone on an island? Ain’t that dangerous?” His brows furrowed with worry.

“Well, yes, but needless to say I am a good shot. Taught myself how to shoot with Grandpa’s gun collection. That’s how I found out about my power in the first place. It wasn’t until I came here and had the blood tests done that I learned the specifics of it.”

“They left you alone on an island with a room full of guns?” His smile is completely gone now. “What about your parents?”

“Oh, never really met them if I’m being honest. I think they both died when I was little and Jade was still a baby. It isn’t a big deal, there is nothing I can do about it now.” You shrug your shoulders and start pulling bowls out of the cabinets and setting them down on the counter.

“Guess we both got the shit end of the stick.” Dirk steps back so you can put the spoons out on the counter.

“What do you mean?”

“Just sayin’ Bro was the same. He’d leave us alone most of the time. I told you that I raised Dave on my own. It’s because Bro would leave us for months at a time to do god knows what, some kind of hero work or something. He was always training Dave and me to be heroes. Even though neither of us wanted that. He started my training at four. Four fucking years old he had me up on the god dammed roof with an illegal sword in my hand. Like I could fucking take him. Do you know the damage a grown-ass man with a katana can do to a four-year-old? Because I can tell you it isn’t fucking pretty. When Dave came around he did the same, except Bro’s mind was already gone at that point. He was so sure Dave was going to be this great hero, greater than any we had seen before. Dave was three when he got his first sword. Three fucking years old when I came home from school and found him at the bottom of the stairs at our shitty ass apartment building, bleeding from his head because that bastard of a man decided it was fate, and was disappointed when the three-year-old, who barely had his fine motor skills under wraps, couldn’t fuckng beat him.” You face Dirk, his fists are clenched and his shoulders are shaking. You see tears prickling at the edges of his beautiful orange eyes. Taking a few steps towards him, you wrap your arms around his chest and pull him into a tight hug. He stiffens against you, his arms hesitantly wrapping around you, stiff and awkward. Until he isn’t. He melts against you, leaning all his weight on you and clinging to the back of your shirt. You feel hot tears leaking onto your shoulder and you squeeze him a little more in response.

“The bastard wouldn’t even let us see our sisters. You know, the first time I saw Roxy was at her funeral? We only ever talked online. I hate him Jake, I fucking hated that man. I’m glad he’s dead.” He sobs into you.

“Goodness, Dirk. I can’t even imagine. Roxy was a good friend of mine, she was amazing. I wish you could have met her in person.” You don’t know what else to tell him. You can’t imagine the pain he’s going through right now.

The two of you stand there for a while, him crying into you silently. If you couldn’t feel him shaking and feel his tears on your shirt, you wouldn’t even know it was happening. You don’t know if Dirk’s ever told anyone these things before. Most people probably wouldn’t believe him, that Puppet Master abused them. No one believes that heroes are capable of terrible things. Those people don’t usually work with them. You’ve overheard PR meetings with other heroes, on how to cover up the things they have done. Everyone has their secrets, some are just worse than others.

When you first came on the scene you had briefly worked with a hero-turned-villain. Dualscar was his name, he wasn’t very popular with civilians, too many casualties in his fights. Dualscar’s old PR people were ready to debase the ex-hero, and air out all his dirty laundry so people would know he was always a villain, they had planned on turning the story around making people believe he was a spy that fooled everyone. In reality, everyone who worked with Dualscar knew he was a sleaze-bag. He flirted with everyone, despite constant protests from the other party. He would use his family’s money to get away with illegal things, and The League would sweep it under the rug for him. He would brag about his casualty count with other heroes, most of whom were put off by this. You had barely worked with him for a month before he switched sides, and in that short period, you fell victim to one of his revenge porn threads. You’ll never be able to get the image of Kankri’s boudoir photos out of your mind.

On top of all his personality faults, you later found out that he was selling the identities of heroes. He got a lot of money from this, many Heroes found their houses broken into, gained stalkers, and in one terrible case, lost their lives. You were close to Roxy, she was an internet friend of yours and had helped you and Jade make it to the mainland. She also assisted you in starting your hero career. She was amazing. Dualscar sold her information to a villain. He was hiding at her home, Roxy had come back from a night of partying, too drunk to notice her surroundings. One of her relatives had found her dead. News reports said if it wasn’t for the pool of blood, and the knife in her back, anyone could have thought she went in her sleep. You were too heartbroken to attend the funeral.

Dirk stands there in your arms for a few more minutes, you run your hands through the back of his hair, your nails massaging his scalp. You don’t know what the right thing to say here is, but you hope that just being there for him is enough. He doesn’t seem to be the type to want someone to draw attention to his silent sobs. So you just hold him, until he pulls away. His eyes are rimmed red and slightly swollen from crying.

You reach out and wipe away the tears on his damp cheeks. “You’re going to be okay, Chickadee. You don’t have to suffer like that anymore. He’s gone, and you’re better off for it. Both of you are.” He leans his cheek into your hand, and you cup it. His face is soft and warm, it’s taking all of your willpower to not lean over a little and kiss his worries away. “You have all the time in the world to spend with Rose now, too. Think of the good stuff.”

“You’re right. We are better off.” His nose is all clogged up from crying and it’s making his voice sound nasally. “Sorry for uh, freaking out on you like that.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ll always be here if you need to vent like that.”

– – –

A week later Dirk has come over to check on your wound, it’s mostly healed now, the stitches were removed a while ago, but he’s still worried about an infection. You’re sitting on the foot of your bed, leaning back with your shirt off. Dirk is kneeled in front of you and it’s taking all of your will power not to imagine him like this in a different scenario. He has his hands on your chest, and you know he can feel how fast your heart is beating.

His slender fingers start to brush against across your chest, his slightly long nails dragging against the skin, brushing through your chest hair. It’s soothing in a way you never knew it would be. You close your eyes and your head lulls to the side. You don’t even know if he’s aware that his hands have drifted past the scar, towards your pecs, slipping between the muscles.

You’ve never been touched like this before, never had the chance to have another person’s hands on you. You want to grab him and pull him into a kiss, you want to touch him, feel his strong arms around you, pin him to the bed and run your own hands over those chiseled abs of his. You want to hold him down by his tiny little waist and kiss and bite his neck until everyone who sees him knows he is yours.

“Alright, everything’s looking good, man. I don’t see any sign of infection.” His voice breaks you out of your fantasy.

You clear your throat and look away. “Righty-o, thanks, mate.”

He stands up and you miss the warmth of his hands against yours. You’re suddenly aware of how cold the room feels. You want to grab his wrists and pull him onto the bed with you. You want to hold him close for as long as he’ll let you.

You’re too far gone.

– – –

One month into recovery and Dirk has been over every day. He goes outside and walks with you. The two of you are currently walking your normal route through the park near your flat. He stands close to you, talking your ear off about some training robot he’s been building. He wants you to try it out once he says you’ve recovered enough. Your hands brush against each other, you can feel his fingers twitch against the back of your hand, and you turn your own to face him, intertwining your fingers together.

Neither of you says anything as you walk through the tree-covered park. His chattering has stopped completely, and his thumb is rubbing circles over the side of your hand. It’s cute. The leather from his fingerless gloves gives off a little heat, which is much needed in the chill winter air. You notice how his slender fingers fit perfectly between your thicker ones.

“Do you want to go on a date?” You finally break the silence. It feels like the two of you have been dancing around your feelings for each other for a while now. You expect him to immediately reply with a yes. Instead, he stops walking, and his orange eyes are widely staring at you. You look back at him with a gentle smile. “We both fancy each other, don’t we? Shouldn’t we go on a date?”

He pulls his hand away, breaking eye contact by looking away from you. “I can’t, I…I’m sorry.” He’s gone before you can even blink. You can’t see where he went. You’re left standing in the park, completely alone, and heartbroken. You’d think you were reading too much into things, but you two were just holding hands not even a second ago. His eyes are always on you when you wake up from a nap and venture out into your flat shirtless. You’ve seen the way he blushes at you when he catches a glimpse of your chest or your biceps. When he walks behind you, you can always tell he’s looking at your ass. The last time he checked your wound he couldn’t stop running his hands over your pecs, his fingers messing with your chest hair. There is something there. You know it. Maybe he just isn’t ready for the next step. You can understand that. You can wait for him as long as you need to.

It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt.

You finish your walk through the park and trek up the stairs to your flat. You planned on spending some time with Dirk and the kids when you got back, but you can’t bring yourself to. You just want to lay down. Dave stops you though.

“Hey, where's Dirk at?” Dave asks, turning to face you from his spot on the couch.

“Oh well, I may have made quite the mess of things. I asked him out on a date and he took off like a bat out of Hades. I didn’t mean to make the poor bloke uncomfortable.” You give him a sheepish smile and you watch as Dave’s mouth twitches downward.

“Dammit, I gotta go. I’ll see ya later Jade.” He goes over and gives her a hug and a kiss on top of her head and he’s out of the flat just as fast as Dirk left you in the park.

“I’m sorry, Jake. I thought you two were hitting it off.” Jade gives you a sympathetic smile.

“It’s quite alright. My ego took a bit of bruising, but I’ll be okay. I think I’m going to pop off for a bit of a kip if you don’t mind.” You point your thumb toward your bedroom door.

“Of course. I am sorry though.” You shake your head and walk towards your bedroom. You strip out of your clothes and lay in bed. You stare up at the ceiling for a while, looking at the Avatar poster hanging up there. Oh, Neytiri, she’d never betray you like this. Taking in a deep breath, you take your phone out.

GolgolthasTerror [GT] began pestering timeausTestified [TT]

GT: Hiya, dirk. Sorry about springing that on you out of nowhere. i understand if you arent ready to go steady with anyone. But if you do change your mind. i do not mind waiting. i adore you, and if it is alright with you, i hope we can still be the best of bros. Youre my only real friend, so i hope that you dont mind still hanging out with me. i would miss you very much.

TT: Dirk is not currently available. He has asked me to respond to all incoming communications with him. My name is Auto-Responder, though I would prefer it if you called me HAL.

GT: What in the blazes is an auto-responder?

TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 96% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.

GT: Good heavens, when he is available can you let me know? I do wish to speak to him.

TT: No can do, Jake. It seems as if Dirk is currently in the middle of a panic attack. I do not believe it would be wise for you to continue to speak to him.

GT: ...

GT: I see

GT: Is there anything I can do to help him?

TT: Your assistance is not needed here. I request that you cease all communication with him, outside of the medical wing. While I know that the possibility of you listening to that request is a mere 5%, I do believe that it would be best for Dirk if you forgot about him altogether. He is a terrible person you know. You would be better off forgetting him as well.

GT: For gods sake dirk! This isn't funny. If you wanted me to leave you alone you could have just told me! This roundabout way of telling me is just awful. Just be straightforward with me instead of hiding behind some fake programming doohicky.

TT: I am not fake, Jake. Leave Dirk alone.

TT: Sorry about him, Jake. He's got some bugs. Just give me a few days. I need some time.

GT: Of course, whatever you need, mate.

timeausTestified [TT] has blocked GolgolthasTerror [GT] from responding

– – –

It isn’t until you’re back in the medical wing at headquarters that you see Dirk again. The twelve weeks are up and you feel wound up and nervous. It’s been nearly two months since you last spoke to Dirk, and you miss him. Every text you tried to send was met with nothing but a responding message telling you that he’s blocked you. Eventually, you got the message. He doesn’t want anything to do with you. He’s stopped coming over with Dave, and the younger Strider won’t talk about him around you.

Dirk didn’t meet you out at the reception desk like he usually does either. A nurse walked you into the exam room and had you sit up on the bed lined with paper. You’re nervously picking at your nails when you hear the door slide open.

You look at Dirk and notice how terrible he looks. His hair isn’t in its usual perfect style, instead, it’s curly and messy and looks slightly matted in the back. His eyes have large purple bags under them. He looks tired.

“Dirk, I” He cuts you off.

“I’m going to check the incision and run an EKG on you to make sure you’re heart is beating correctly and make sure nothing seems off. After that, you can leave. I expect everything will be fine, and I’ll send the paperwork up to your handler.” His voice is monotone, void of any emotion, and he won't look at you.

“Right, thanks, mate.” You mumble and lift your shirt off to show him your scarred chest. The scar healed up nicely, though it’s rather ugly. It’s raised and slightly lighter than the rest of your tan skin. It’s mostly covered by your chest hair though. He looks at the scar, he doesn’t touch you like he normally does.

Dirk grabs some stickers off of a cart that a nurse wheels in, and starts placing them on your chest. He doesn’t speak as he connects the wires to them and turns on the EKG machine. He watches the monitor for a few minutes before turning it off and removing the stickers from your chest. “Everything looks good. You can go.”

“Dirk, can’t we just talk?” You stand up, putting your shirt back on.

“No. We can’t. If you wanted to hear from me, you wouldn’t have blocked me. You made it perfectly fucking clear you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I asked for a few days, I needed to think things over, I thought you’d at least respect that instead of acting like a fucking baby.”

“What the fuck do you mean? You’re the one who blocked me! I haven’t been able to get a message through to you for months! I’ve been trying and trying to talk to you, but all I get is that blasted message telling me I’m still blocked!” You’re getting upset. Why is he making this out to be your fault?!

“Sure.” He says dismissively. It makes your blood boil.

“Don’t just dismiss me like that, Strider. I tried to talk to you. I tried to ask Dave about you, but he would just ignore me. I wanted to see you. These past few months without you have been hell! You’re the only person I have ever met that has made me feel anything! I thought we could at least be friends. I understood if you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, I want to keep being mates! If you don’t want to date, fine. I understand. It hurts, but being your friend isn’t some sort of bloody second-place trophy. I hate not being able to talk to you anymore. I hate that Dave won’t mention you when he’s over. I hate not knowing how you are! I miss you so bloody much, Dirk! It hurts not having you around. I feel like I’ve lost a piece of me.” You don’t know when you started crying, but you feel tears streaming down your cheeks.

He looks at you, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and types quickly. Who the bloody hell is he texting right now? You’ve born your soul and heart to him and he’s just texting?!

“Dammit. It was AR. He got into our accounts and blocked us from each other. Shit, Jake…I thought you just didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I mean, I understood. I’m a terrible person. I’m manipulative, and secretive, and…broken. I thought you finally woke up and saw how terrible I am. I…I really missed you these past few months. I was going to tell you I wanted to go on that date. If you still want to…if I didn’t fuck this all up…maybe we could go on one?”

Oh, he was checking with that program. He wants to date you! “You don’t know how relieved I am, chickadee.” You go over and pull him into a tight hug. “Of course, I still want to go out with you. How about dinner and a movie?”

“Perfect.” Dirk’s smile and beautiful, it’s a little awkward and shaky, but you feel like everything is going to be okay when you see it.

Chapter Text

You’re messing with your hair, trying to comb it back a little but it just won’t work. You’re so nervous about your date, you’ve never been on one before. There was never really a chance for you to go on a date. Growing up on an island with only your sister and the very rare visit from your grandparents left you with zero options. You had a select few friends online, but to be completely honest, you never did see Jane or Roxy in that way. You try not to think about how hurt Jane was when you rejected her advances. Thankfully after a few weeks she started talking to you again, and the two of you became even closer as friends.

You booked a table at some swanky restaurant downtown, you had Kanaya make you this suave three piece tweed suit. It has a dark green suit and matching pants, a soft brown vest, and a light blue button up with deep brown tie . You weren’t sure about the colors, but now that you have it on, you feel like it works.

You finally get your hair how you want it, and you smile at yourself in the mirror. You’re going to woo Dirk’s socks off tonight. You made sure that he knew you were going to a nice restaurant, and offered to buy him a suit if he didn’t have one. He said he had one already.

Taking a deep breath, you walk out of the bathroom and sit on the couch. Jade is in her room talking to Rose, you can hear her giggling from here. You haven’t told her about your date yet, she isn’t the biggest fan of Dirk’s ever since the miscommunication. You can’t rightly blame her, she does get rather protective of you. She knows you can be daft and naive sometimes, and doesn’t like seeing you be heart broken.

You hear a knock at your door and you scramble to your feet. You answer the door and you’re struck with how handsome Dirk looks. His suit is a bright burnt orange , with a white button up and a warm brown tie, which he somehow manages to make look striking, rather than tacky. His hair is pushed back in it’s usual styled way, and he has contacts in, rather than his circular frames.

“Sup” He runs his hands over the front of his suit and you smile warmly at him.

“Hiya, you look amazing.” You lean down slightly and place a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks, man. You do too. Like in a hot university professor kind of way, which is like really working for me.” You can’t help but laugh at that. You can tell he’s nervous, but so are you.

“Thank you, chickadee.” You take his hand in yours, and he easily intertwines your fingers, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “Shall we go, then?”

“Yeah.” The two of you walk down the stairs of your building and head down the sidewalk. The restaurant isn’t too far, just a few blocks away from your flat. You’re glad that Dirk was willing to walk, you would have offered to pick him up, but you can’t drive.

“So,”

“Uh” The two of you started to speak at the same time. He clears his throat nervously “Go a head.”

“Golly, I’ll be honest. I’m really nervous about this. I’ve never been on a date before. I don’t know why we’re both being so bloody awkward about it. It’s not like we haven’t ever spoken before. We’re good mates, we should be able to talk normally.”

“Dude, I’m glad I’m not the only one who was feeling nervous. I haven’t been on a real date before, especially nowhere near as fancy as this restaurant you’re taking me to. I kinda feel like I’m going to be kicked out just from showin’ up. The maitre d’s gonna take one look at me and know I’m from bumfuck nowhere, Texas, and think I’m some fuckin’ redneck who cain’t act all posh like.”His voice starts getting even more accented than it usually is and you smile. You think his Southern accent is quite charming.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I got us a private table so you don’t have to worry about keeping up appearances, and honestly, I’d rather not worry about it either. It makes me properly nervous feeling like I have to act a certain way in a restaurant. But usually, first dates are in places like this, at least in the movies I’ve seen. So I wanted to do that with you. Though, if you don’t like it, we could hop down to McDonalds in our posh suits and have a burger.”

This gets a laugh out of him. “Nah dude, I wanna go to this place. I wanna have the best first date of my life with you. Even if it means shoving a salad fork up my ass or whatever it is you do with those shits.” You snort and bark out a loud laugh, Dirk turns to you with a bright smile. You can see the tension leaving his shoulders as you both walk through the double doors of the restaurant.

You’re seated in a private room with a table set for two. The design is modern and simplistic, the plates look overly expensive and Dirk looks nervous again. You go over and pull his chair out for him. He thanks you softly as you help him push the chair back in.

You sit down across from him and watch as he picks up the menu. “Order whatever you want, it’s on me.”

“Dude, everything is so expensive. Are you sure?” His shoulders are hiked up to his ears, he isn’t touching the table. He seems like he’s scared to dirty the expensive stuff around him. Maybe this restaurant was a bad idea.

“Of course. I want to treat you, at least a little. Next time we can have that McDonalds date”

The waiter comes into your room and asks for your drink order. Dirk frantically looks down at the menu. You order both of you some nice red wine. You also order some earl grey, and Dirk panics and asks if they have orange soda. He looks immediately mortified, and the waiter sighs and tells him they do. Once the waiter leaves you look back at Dirk.

“You don’t have to be so nervous, chickadee. It’s just us in this room.” You reach out and take one of his hands in yours, squeezing it in a way that you hope is reassuring.

“You’re right” He gives your hand a squeeze back. “So I was looking online at bad first date questions because I didn’t want to fuck this up, and after looking at the good ones I realized I already know all that stuff about you. But this one question I saw made me laugh. I wondered if I could ask it.”

You chuckle “Shoot.”

“How attached are you to your teeth, on a scale of one to ten?”

You laugh loudly, suddenly really happy you opted for the private room. That really was an awful question. “Goodness, please tell me no one has actually asked that.”

“It was on an article where people submit awful questions they’ve been asked. I kept wanting to blurt it out ever since we walked through the doors, so I’m glad you thought it was funny” He smiles awkwardly at you, and you chuckle a little.

“At least you waited, goodness knows what people would have thought. Someone probably would’ve thought you were a psychopath.”

“Hah, well I probably am, so…” He flinches a little at himself.

“Dirk, it’s okay. You don’t seem like one to me. You care about people, not just because they belong to you. You care with all your heart, more than i’ve ever seen anyone care. That’s one of the things I like most about you.”

Dirk starts to speak, but the waiter comes in and fills your crystal wine glasses with rich red wine. It smells amazing and you cannot wait to try it. You pull your hand away from Dirk’s and pick up the wine, sipping at it. You let it coat your tongue before you swallow. It’s amazing, burning just the slightest bit as it goes down.

Dirk goes to pick up his own glass, only he ends up knocking it over and onto your chest. “Oh fuck, Jake I am so sorry.” He stands up, his chair falling over, and his knees knocking the table.

“Chickadee, it’s fine.” You dab your suit with one of the clothes, and the waiter dries up the table. “Accidents happen. I’m sure Kanaya can get a stain like this out. Besides, I don’t wear suits too often. I’m rather fond of my t-shirts and little shorts, thank you very much.”

“I feel like an idiot” Dirk puts his chair back up right and the waiter leaves with a scowl on his face.

“Chickadee, it’s okay. It’ll be a funny story in the long run. I assure you, I am not upset.” You rests your chin on the palm of your hand and smile assuringly at him. “Why don’t we talk about your day?”

“Oh uh, okay if you’re really not mad…my day was fine. I was working at headquarters all day, and when I got home I caught Dave and Karkat making out on the couch, so that was interesting. I still can’t believe they’re dating. Apparently John introduced them and they hit it off like crazy. Man, Karkat was so embarrassed, his face got all red and he started screaming the weirdest profanities at me. Lil’ dude’s a fucking riot. I think he’s going to be good for Dave. He needs someone who wears their emotions on their face like that. He never has to guess if he’s doing something wrong because Karkat will just shout it at him.”

“That’s great! I’m so glad that Dave has someone he likes so much. I remember when Jade and him used to talk online all the time. It was so obvious he had a little crush on her, but Jade’s always been a little oblivious to things like that.”

“Oh dude you don’t even know how much he pined for her. He would talk about her non-stop all the time and when I would ask him about his crush he’d get all red and start going on his rants and somehow end up saying that Rose was hot, which is gross considering we’re related, but he always devolves into freudian slips when he’s trying to gain control of a conversation. He’s weird like that. I’m just glad he’s got someone, ya know? I don’t know how long it took him to accept the fact that he’s bi. Bro kinda beat it into us that it wasn’t okay to like guys. Though I always knew everything Bro said was total bullshit. I’ve always been gay, theres no denying that. Shit happens, doesn’t make you gross. It took a lot longer for Dave to get that. I’m glad he finally did, cause Dave and Karkat are fucking perfect for each other.”

– – –

After the dinner and movie, the two of you are walking back to your flat. Dirk’s hand hasn’t left yours since before the movie even started. Once Dirk finally relaxed a little, everything went so well. You don’t want it to end yet.

The two of you stand at your doorway, looking into eachother’s eyes. You pull Dirk closer by his hand and you kiss him gently. You feel him stiffen against you before he presses your chests together. His plump pink lips move against yours, and you run your tongue over one of them. He tastes like hot popcorn butter and synthetic orange chapstick, and you love every second of it. He opens his mouth and your tongues twist against each other, you feel the warm metal of his tongue piercing and shiver a little at the unfamiliar sensation. You run your tongue over the roof of his mouth and you hear him let out a deep moan.

You lose your control. You push him up against the door to your flat, your hands sliding down his muscular arms and snaking around his tiny waist. He shivers at your touch and runs his hands behind your back, clinging to your suit jacket.

He pulls away, panting against your lips. His own are swollen and red and you want to kiss him again. “Room. Now.” You happily oblige. You open the door, holding onto his waist so he doesn’t fall back and quickly lead him into your bedroom.

– – –

The two of you are laying on your bed, sheets over you to keep in the body heat. His naked body pressed against you, and his warm, pantings breaths heat the skin on your bare chest. He’s absetmindedly running his hands over your pecks, twirling and playing with your chest hair. You’re starting to think he really likes it with how much he’s played with it. He has a soft smile, his eyes still a little glassy and unfocused. This has to be one of the best nights of your life. You were a little nervous jumping into the sack for the first time. But Dirk was happy to teach you, and you’d like to think you did a good job. He definitely thinks you did.

His fingers trail over your scar and you watch as a frown appears on his lips. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“I know, I’m not trying to, chickadee.”

“If you catch him, what’re you going to do?” His voice is quiet, almost as if he doesn’t want you to hear the question.

“Of course I’m going to arrest him. But before that, I want to see his face, I want to see the face of the man who hurt my sister.” His fists clench against your chest and he hides into your shoulder. You turn on your side and hold him close.

He doesn’t speak after that, but you’re content with holding him there. You could stay like this for the rest of your life. Feeling the tickle of his eyelashes as he starts to sleep, his warm breath against you, his long legs tangled up with yours. Everything is perfect right now.

Chapter Text

“So, you’re not going on patrol tonight?” Dirk asks you, sitting up in bed. He looks ethereal right now, the morning sun is shining through your window, catching his white-blonde locks and making them glow like a halo, casting orange shadows on his freckled and bite mark ridden shoulders. Your dark green sheets pooled at his waist, contrasting against his pale skin. How did you ever get lucky enough to catch a man like him?

“No, I’ve gotta go to headquarters though and get some training in. I don’t want to get soft by the time they allow me to patrol again. I’m on retainer incase something goes really wrong though. Plus there’s some big private meeting I have to attend.”

“Right. So you can’t stay in and cuddle any longer?” He sticks out his bottom lip in a pout, and you are so tempted to take him up on that offer.

“I’m sorry, love. I gotta go. But if you keep tempting me like this, I might never leave the flat again.” You walk over to him after pulling on one of your black t-shirts and lean over, giving him a soft kiss.

He smiles against the kiss and you pull away. “It’s your day off, right? Maybe we can hang out tonight?”

“Keep kissing me and maybe i’ll agree.”

– – –

You’re late for the meeting. A few kisses turned into much, much more. You’re rushing onto the elevator and hating everything. Yes having a moring romp with your newly acquired beau is wonderful, but you know you’re going to be in trouble. To top it all off, you have to go into this blasted death trap device just to get anywhere in this god forsaken tower. It lurches to a stop and you run off to the meeting room. Your knuckles hurt from gripping the railings too hard during the ride, but you clench your fingers over and over again until the pain goes away.

You walk into the meeting room and all eyes are on you. All the top ranked heroes are sitting in the room, Kankri at the front of the meeting, clearly leading it. John and Karkat are sat next to each other at the front. Behind them you see Latula and a grumpy looking Sollux, and in the back you see some underground heroes; Tavros and Terezi.

“Glad you could join us, Gunman. Care to explain why you were so late?” Kankri’s haughty attitude puts your mood right in the gutter.

“Looks like he finally hooked up with Dr.Strider” John snorts out a laugh and motions to his neck. You immediately slap a hand over your neck, feeling your face warm up. You take an empty seat next to John.

“Well, before you came in I was explaining to everyone that I was able to get some intel on Ult, and I think we should be able to lure him out. I was visiting one of the bars where villains are known to frequent. Thankfully because of my underground hero status, I am not known to civilians or villians, so they feel as if they can talk freely around me. I was able to pick up some chatter about this partner of his. It turns out, it is his little brother. If we could corner him, we could get Ult out of a comfort zone, and have leverage over him.”

“What about his time powers? We still don’t know how they work. Or are you thinking that your idea is just too damn good that no one was going to mention that?” Karkat cross his arms and rolls his eyes, making John snort with laughter.

“We might not now how they work, but, you are the key here Karkat. You’re going to hold him still with your blood control and make sure he can’t use them. Knock him out of you have to.” Kankri answers with a sneer.

“So what do the rest of us do, cherry milkshake?” Terezi asks from the back.

“You and I will be listening for them. I will be placed on one end of the city, while you’re on the other. We should be able to cover everything from there and locate them. Toreador you’ll be stationed in the park and send birds to watch in the sky incase our hearing misses anything. Gustbuster, you’ll be patrolling the skies as well, and will ready to fight Ult. When we get a location on him you’ll head his way. Gunman and Skater Gurl you two will be on the ground with Geneticist. You three will trap the brother, who’s name seems to be Clockwork. Gunman and Skater will wear him down until he is either cornered or capacitated so that Geneticist can concentrate enough to get a hold on him. Clockwork, should call for help some how. If he does not, we’re going to get Ult out of hiding one way or another. Geneticist, I trust you’ve honed your voice control?”

“Yes. It’s spotty, but it’s better. Everyone will need ear plugs so their ears don’t get hurt. But I assume you’re wanting me to yell for Ult?” Karkat asks.

“Exactly. That is if he doesn’t come on his own, so hold off on that until absolutely necessary.”

“And when, exactly are we planning this?” Sollux asks with a frown. “You also forgot to tell me what the hell I’m doing.”

“Oh right, Gemini. You'll be in the front lines for the assault on Ult. Your telekenisis is going to help to make sure we aren’t dealing with too many splinters. Do what you need to during the fight to fend them off, or get rid of them. But ideally you’ll be keeping Ult still. As for the time frame…the board wants us to do this tonight.”

You all start screaming at the same time. “Tonight?! I’ve only just got back from recovery! Are you sure this is safe? We barely have any time to prepare!”

“Everyone be quiet. It’s been decided. Clear you plans for tonight, and remember. This does not leave this room. I will send encrypted messages to your phones so you know the locations you need to be at. Our doctors and healers have been put on call, but know nothing else, only that we were given a tip about something going down tonight. That is all. I expect you all to be at your best. No training today. You all should rest up for tonight.”

– – –

The walk back to your flat is tiresome. You’re holding your fixed Kevlar suit in your arms. You toss it down on the couch and make your way to your room. Dirk has already gone, and it makes everything feel so empty. You fall face first into the mattress. You can still smell his orange scented cologne in the sheets. You pull them close, hiding your face in them and think of Dirk. He must be freaked out, it’s always bad when all of the doctors have to be on call for the night. You know this mission is dangerous, and you wish you could talk to him about it. Instead, you’re stuck here in your bed, cuddling the sheets that he was just in, not even two hours ago.

Your alarm goes off an hour before you’re meant to be at your post. You steel your nerves and get dressed, and put on your helmet and jetpack. You grab your guns out of their safe and slide them into your holsters, and put the knives into their own holsters on your shoulders. This is it. This is your chance to finally beat Ult.

– – –

You’re standing at your assigned location, standing atop a short building. You can see Geneticist across the street, and Skater Gurl on her skateboard going up and down the sidewalk below you.

“Clockwork has been located. Two blocks west of your current position, Gunman. Your team needs to head out. Location seems to be an alley behind a record shop.” You watch as the other two hear Kankri’s voice in their own headsets. They look at you and you give a slight nod before the three of you start heading west. You’re using your jetpack to propel you across rooftops, Skater Gurl is following you down below, and Geneticist and leaping after you.

You spot the record shop and come to a halt. You need to catch him by surprise, you’re just hoping your team is quiet enough. Looking up you can see one of Toreador’s birds circling the air. Clockwork is standing in the alley below you, he has on a red felt suit, and the screen bar across his face is showing some sort of bored emoticon face. He doesn’t seem to be doing much of anything. His face is entirely hidden as well. You’ll have to rip the mask and screen off of him just to find out who he is.

Skater Gurl is the first to make a move. Her super strength should make it easier to get him to hold still long enough for Karkat to make his move. The screen over his eyes flashes a shocked emoticon ‘ O.O ‘ when she starts talking.

“Hey, you’re Clockwork, right? Man, sucks to be you right now.” She punches the wall and takes out one of the bricks. He moves into a fighting stance, a wakizashi sword in hand, his knees bent. He’s ready for a fight. She rushes him and he jumps in the hair, causing her to miss. Then he takes off running. That’s when you pull your guns out, zooming in on his legs and firing two shots. He falls to the ground, hitting his face on the cement. He rolls on his back, the screen glitching and cracked.

“9000, get Ult. Now. They got me. It’s Skater Gurl and Gunman”

You watch as Geneticist drops silently to the ground behind him. This is it, Clockwork called for backup, Karkat is within range. Everything is going perfectly. “Wrong, asshole” Karkat reaches out to him, blood strings out from his wrist, twisting and turning in the air until it reaches Clockwork. The blood ribbons dart into his skin, through his clothes, and the villain is frozen in place.

You hop down with the help of your jetpack and land beside Skater Gurl. “Clockwork is apprehended. He called for backup. All teams report to our location.” You tell the other heroes through the headset in your helmet.

“So now we just wait?” Skater Gurl asks, tossing the brick between her hands.

“Pretty much. Either for the heroes or for Ult.”

“Looks like we don’t have to wait too long, assholes. Cover me.” Geneticist motions to the start of the alley, Ult is standing there, his arms crossed. He looks angry. Good. You’re not letting him get away again.

“Make this easy Ult. Turn yourself in.” You step in front of Geneticist, your guns raised.

“Not likely.” He’s up on you within seconds, his sword raised, sweeping it in an arching motion towards your head. You manage to block with your guns, the metal wepons grinding against each other as you push against his sword. You jump back and watch as his sword hits concrete, wedging itself into the ground. He abandons the sword and hops back. You shoot.

You bullets almost reach his legs, but he diverts them into the wall just before they hit. He runs at you again, this time sliding on the ground, past you and Geneticist, and grabs Clockwork’s wakizashi. Skater Gurl grabs his arm and tosses him into the brick wall. The wall dents, bricks falling out of place onto the ground with the impact. Ult doesn’t even flinch.

He’s back up on his feet and flashes away, getting behind Skater Gurl and bashing her in the head with the hilt of the sword. She goes down. “Skater is down, where’s backup?”

“I’m on my way asshole.” Gemini’s lispy voice sounds through the speaker of your ear piece.

“ETA?” You ask as you set to aim for Ult’s chest this time. You fire, but he’s dodged out of the way. You curse under your breath and activate your jetpack. You need higher ground to locate him.

“Two Minutes.”

You curse under your breath. Two minutes is a long time. “Gustbuster, ETA?”

“Almost there.” You feel the wind picking up, and then you see John shooting through the sky. “There he is.” You land in front of Geneticist just before Ult comes at him. You block with your guns again, holding him off, pushing against the wakizashi. Gustbuster slices the air and sends Ult into the side of the building, pinning him to the wall with wind. Gustbuster walks towards him, ready to grab him. Ult turns to ash. The wind dies down and you follow the ash through the sky with your eyes, it’s leading up to the roof tops. You motion for Gustbuster to follow the ash, and he’s airborn.

“Shit, where the hell is everyone?”

“Sorry Geneticist, there’s splinters everywhere. We’re, uh, trying to fight them off.” Toreador tells you both through the speaker.

“Shit, shit. Okay. I’m going to help Gustbuster. Just stay focused, and if you need help just yell.” You fly into the air, watching as Ult flies around with the help of a rocket board, Gustbuster is close on his trail. You take aim, zooming in with the camera on your helmet, focusing on the rocket on the back of the board, following it’s trajectory, and shoot. The rocket malfunctions and Ult falls out of the sky. He lands with harsh thud in the middle of mainstreet, civilians start running and you and Gustbuster rush down to meet him. The crowd of civilians make it hard to keep an eye on him, but through the waves of people, you can see his fushia costume still on the ground.

Blue and red streak across the sky and pick up Ult’s body from the ground. He’s limp, his arms falling loosely, his head tilted back. You’ve got him. This is the real one. Ash starts flowing through the sky, taking it’s place back in Ult’s hand.

“Splinters have disappeared. Ult is incapacitated. Geneticist, Signless is on his way to arrest Clockwork. We’ll deal with Ult.” Gemini slowly lands on the ground, lowering Ult slowly. You fly over to him, landing in front of where Ult is on the ground. You watch as the red and blue disapear and you look down at Ult. You need to see the face of the man who hurt your sister.

You crouch down, you can tell he’s still breathing, so he isn’t dead. You grab his mask and shades and rip them off his face. You’re met with familiar plump pink lips, long white eyelashes, brown freckles, and you know that if his eyes were open they’d be orange. “No.” Your heart shatters, anger welling up inside you. “You bastard!” You scream, grabbing him by the shirt and shaking him. “Wake up! You son of a bitch! Wake up!”

His eyes flutter open, recognition hitting him. You punch him, you can hear the crack of his nose against your fist.

“Gunman!” Gemini pulls you away, and uses his powers to keep Ult…no..Dirk… on the ground. You feel sick to your stomach. Dirk betrayed you, you let him around Jade! He knew how you felt about Ult, he knew how much you hated him. How much pain he caused you and your family, and you let him in your house. You fell in love with him. You let his brother around Jade, you trusted him to take care of her!

“Geneticist. We have a confirmed identity. Ult is Dirk Strider…Clockwork should be Dave Strider if our information was correct.” You can hear the pained gasp over the headset. He must be going through a similar wave of anger and guilt that you’re going through. Ult, Dirk, won’t even look at you. You can’t stop looking at him, glaring daggers into him. He can’t move, and neither can you.

“Jake…” He starts to speak.

“No.” You shut him down and look over when Gustbuster lands.

“Is it really Dirk?” He asks and looks over, his eyes going wide behind his cloth mask. “Is Dave Clockwork?” He’s met with nothing. “Dammit. DAMMIT!” John screams, tears in his big blue eyes.

“Gemini, sit him up, the cops are here. I’m going to take him in.”

“You sure, Gunman?” He gives you a sympathetic look, he knows you’re hurting. But you need to follow through. This is what you wanted, to arrest him.

“I’m sure.” He sits Dirk up, and you go over, catching his wrists in your hand and jerking him to his feet. He stands without a fight and you push him towards the cop cars. His head hangs low and he drags his feet, he’s probably hurt from the fall. But you don’t care. He’s lucky if he made it out of that fight with nothing more than a broken bone. You shove him into the backseat of the cop car.

“We’ll need us with you, Gunman, to transport him to high security.” He cop tells you.

“I’ll meet you there.”

– – –

Goddamn elevators. It’s always elevators. You shove Dirk into the death trap, he’s handcuffed with power surpressing handcuffs so he can’t get out. You’re at the prison and are transfering him to the high security sector. Only heroes are allowed to transport villains here, the civilian cops are in too much danger otherwise. The hard metal doors shut and the elevator jerks as it starts moving. You don’t want to show weakness in front of Dirk right now, so you stand in front of him, in the middle of the elevator. Your arms are crossed and you’re digging your nails into the Kevlar sleeves. The LED numbers above the door count down painstakingly slow.

Suddenly the elevator drops, it feels as if it’s about three floors. You lose your footing and fall directly on your ass. The lights flicker off and you feel yourself start to panic. You breath hitches and you try to force down a sob, you can feel yourself shaking. This cannot be happening. You’re trapped in an elevator, that fell, with Dirk. You can feelt he walls shrinking on you. Oh god, did you die? Would you even know if you did? You start rocking slightly, gasping for air, your chest is tight and it feels like sharp needles pushing into your lungs with every breath.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you jerk away. “Le-leave me alone.” You gaps out, you don’t want his comfort. You don’t want him touching you.

“Jake…It’s going to be okay. Press the talk button, tell them the elevator malfunctioned. They’ll send help.” You don’t move. You can’t move. You cling to yourself, trying to stop shaking, and breath normally, but you can’t. You’re trapped in an elevator, with Ult. Ult who is Dirk. Dirk who you’ve fallen head over heels in love with. Ult who almost killed your sister. Ult who almost killed you. You feel sick.

“Was all this a game?” You’re voice is shaking when you finally speak. You can’t look at him, your eyes focusing on the ground in front of you, but you see as he takes a spot on the floor.

“What?”

“Was this a game to you? Getting close to me, coming to my home, seeing Jade. W-was it all just some sick ploy to see the aftermath of your disaster? Was it fun trailing me along, telling me your sob stories…making me fall in love with you? What was all this? What was the bloody point of it all?!” You scream towards the floor.

“Love?” He takes in a deep breath. “No it wasn’t a game, and it wasn’t…it wasn’t because I was some kind of sick voyer. I felt sick being around Jade, knowing what I did to her. I told you before…there has to be something very wrong with someone who would hurt her. And I meant every word of it. Theres something wrong with me Jake. After I killed Bro and got my revenge on the man who tortured Dave and I our entire lives…it didn’t feel like it was enough. I wanted to hurt the heroes that were supposed to save us, but never did. I wanted to hurt the people who could look at these kids who they knew, the people who looked at their scars, their anxieties, and just…looked the other way. They were supposed to save us, and they never did. I know Jade wouldn’t do that, and…I’ll be honest after you told me who she was…I didn’t want that anymore. I didn’t want that revenge, because I realized there were people like her, and like you out there who were proper heroes. Who wanted to help everyone they can. I told you, you were the last true hero.”

You think on what he says for a while. You hate to say it, but you can understand how he got to this point. He was a broken kid who saw a flawed system, and took it in his hands to fix it the only way he knew how. “And what about me? Why…why did you want anything to do with me?”

“Because I love you, Jake. I know I don’t have the right to say that now, and I clearly don’t have any right to ask you to keep seeing me after this. When you came into your appointment to have your stitches taken out…you were so damn easy to talk to. I told you about Bro right away and…I never talk about him. You made me smile, and laugh…really laugh and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to see you again. You’re a good person and for the first time in my life, I thought I found someone who would want me, all of me.”

“I did want you. But I can’t. Not anymore. Not after what you did to Jade.” You bite your lip. “Why did you keep up with Ult? Why not just stop?”

“I did…in some way. That day you found me and Clockwork in the alley, we were going to start being vigilanties. Some of the shops around that side of town were losing business because of drug dealers, they were threatening them and sending customers in to steal merchandise and we wanted to stop them, at least scare them off a little. I knew we couldn’t make the switch from villain to hero, and honestly I don’t know if I’d even what that hero title. I know Clockwork didn’t. So we decided to do that.”

“Is that what you were going to tell me the day you shot me?” You finally look up to him, meeting his eyes. His face is swollen slightly, and his arms are cuffed behind his back. You can see that his elbow is swollen as well, bruised to bits. He probably broke it. It must hurt like hell, being pulled back like that.

“Yes. I also wanted to know if you knew who Clockwork was.” He looks at you and you see tears in his eyes.

“He’s Dave, right?”

Dirk sighs and looks up at the ceiling. It’s hard to really see him in the dim light, but your helmet allows you to have knight vision. “No.”

“You wouldn’t tell me if he was, though. You don’t want him getting arrested too.”

“No, I wouldn’t tell you. Guess you’ll have to find out when you guys take his mask off. Geneticist is with him, right?”

“Yes.” You watch as he frowns slightly. He sighs again and stands up, walking to the panel of buttons and hitting the emergency call button. A dialtone sounds and a voice goes through the speaker.

“Please speak.”

“Hey, we got stuck, send some help.” He speaks into the microphone on the panel.

“Help will be there shortly.”

You sigh and realize you’ve stopped shaking. Dirk distracted you long enough so your panic attack subsided.

The two of you sit there in silence for thirty minutes before the elevator jerks back into motion. You jump a little, the sudden movement scaring you a little. You slowly get to your feet, clinging to the railing so your legs to give out. You’re shaking again.

“That helmet get signal down here?” Dirk speaks up.

“If it doesn’t, then it’s recording. It’ll transmit as soon as i’m within range. Everything you told me is for The League to know. Good grief, they’ll see how pathetic I was. Fantastic.” You sigh. “For the record, whatever we were before, it’s over. I need to make that clear.” The elevator doors slide open and you grab his arm, ignoring the trembling you feel coming from him.

The high security prison is lined with solid glass cells, thick enough that not even Skater Gurl can break them. The prisoners have their eyes on you as you walk Strider down the hall. You recognize a few that you’ve put away. Lord English sits on the bed in his cell, straight jacket holding his arms against his body, his hypnotic eyes are covered with a metal brace, but you know he can sense you with the way his head follows your movements. Dualscar, the ex-hero, is treading the pool of water that takes up half his cell. His fins twitch angrily when you see him. He has a mouth piece covering the lower half of his face, metal and locked in place so he can’t use his Siren Song to escape. Kurloz Makara is standing ominously against the glass of his cell, his white eyes boring into your soul, waves of terror running through you. An electric current shoots through the ceiling and into him. No one knows how his control over fear works, and with him being mute it’s easy for him to ignore the questions. The mutation suppressing cuffs, like the one Dirk currently has around his wrists, don’t work on him either. Looks like they opted to try and train it out of him.

You walk up to the last cell, it’s empty, for now. You stand in front of it and watch as the glass slowly slides down into the floor. Once the glass is gone, you shove Dirk inside the cell. “They’ll send someone to question you soon.” Stepping back you watch the glass slide back up, locking in place in the ceiling. Dirk’s head is down, not meeting your eyes.

This doesn’t feel real. You can still see the bite marks on his neck and shoulders, left over from last night. That night feels like centuries ago. The memory of him sitting on your bed, the sun coming in from the window, and the ethereal look of him, are now tainted. You don’t want to remember that night anymore, you don’t want to remember that morning. You don’t want to think about how it felt to wake up with him cuddled up to you, the way he traced circles into your chest, the way his lips felt on yours. You don’t want to think about how happy you were. All you get now is pain in your heart.

As you walk away, you shake your head and swallow past the lump in your throat. You can’t cry again. Not until you’re in the safety of your room, hiding under the sheets that probably still smell like oranges.

Chapter Text

⇒ Let's rewind a little

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re currently sitting with your sister, Rose, watching as she painstakingly sews together your costume. You’re completely useless when it comes to sewing. You used to try and sew up the holes in Dirk’s cape, but it looked so bad that Rose picked up being his repair girl.

“Yo, Hal. What’s Dirk up to right now?” You ask as you set his bluetooth speaker on the table next to you.

“He is currently at the hospital. He is doing Gunman’s surgery. Taking out the bullets he put in him.” Hal’s voice is a slightly altered version of Dirk’s. It used to be the same, but once Hal finally accepted he wasn’t Dirk, he worked on changing it. Now it’s slightly deeper and void of any southern accent.

“Ah shit. I saw that on the news a second ago. Poor asshole thought he had him! Dirk’s too damn good. And that fucking face plant when he passed out! God it was hilarious! I knew Jake was a total dud, but come on! It was funny.” You hold your sides as you laugh, leaning over in your chair as your body shakes.

“Yes, it was quite hilarious. Has Dirk told you about the new job offer?” Hal asks you.

“No, is he goin’ to a new fancy hospital?”

“He got offered a job at The Hero Leauge as a doctor to the heroes. He took the position.” You stop laughing, looking incredulously at the speaker.

“You gotta be kidding me. What is Dirk thinking? What if they find out he’s Ult? We’re gonna need to start getting him something to cover up his face and maybe even his arms. He needs something to change his voice too, holy shit. This could go bad so fucking fast, man.”

“They’re offering a 600k salary, full benefits, payed time off, and a bunch of other shit. He couldn’t refuse that. He’s barely out of his residency and they’re making him an attending. They said that they needed someone who could do general check ups and emergency surgeries.”

“Holy fucking shit. That’s…yeah I can see why he didn’t pass that up then.” You lean back in your chair and go back to looking at Rose. You’ve been worried about her recently. Ever since she found Roxy dead, she hasn’t been talking very much, and when she has it’s usually to start a fight. Theres been more and more times when it feels normal and you two have a normal conversation, but then she closes off again, going to work on a book, or to fix Dirk’s costume. She doesn’t like that Dirk is a villain, and they fight about it constantly. She accused him of forgetting about Roxy. Dirk got pissed off, and said he would never forget about her, that she was too good of a person, the only one who was a real hero. The only one who deserved the title. She did all she could for other people, only to have another hero turn around and betray her. Those are the heroes he hates, and the ones you hate too. The ones who act like they can get away with anything just because they claim to do good.

“So he’s going to be working there now, huh? Interesting.” Rose speaks up, her voice is soft, and you can barely hear it over the hum of the sewing machine.

“It’s hypocritical. I’ve made him very aware of that. But you all need the money. We’ll finally be able to get you all out of this shit ass apartment, away from the bloodstains and trauma soaked rooms. Dave and Dirk will never have to think about Bro again.” A new place would be nice, Dirk was barely able to afford rent on this shit hole, the landlord liked Dirk, and felt sorry for you all, so he let rent slide when it was needed. But it’ll be great to finally get out of here, move into a real apartment, or even a real house, and be a real family that isn’t constantly haunted by the ghost of your dead father.

“I do believe that Dirk and I will be having words once he is home.” Your sister turns the machine off and folds your costume. You know she isn’t finished yet, it’ll probably be a few weeks before it’s done, besides you still need to talk Dirk into letting you go with him.

“I really don’t want to be around during that fight. I think I’m goin’ to go for a walk or somethin’. Hal, text me when Dirk’s on his way.” You get up and grab your phone, walking out of the apartment. You grip the railing of the stairs tightly as you walk down. You don’t know how many times you’ve been shoved down these exact steps, theres still a stain on the wall from where your head hit it. Theres a stain towards the bottom of the first flight where the edge hit your head. You don’t remember that one, Dirk told you about it last year.

It’s still weird to think that Bro is finally gone, it doesn’t feel real sometimes. You still catch yourself sneaking around corners and hiding food. Dirk wouldn’t let you starve, he never did, but on those rare occasions when Dirk would be gone, you learned to hide food. You also can’t stand silence, the house would be so quiet when Bro was home. You could never tell where he was coming from. You don’t have to worry about that anymore…but you still do. It’s like your brain hasn’t gotten the memo that Bro has been dead for four months, he isn’t coming back, and you need to man the fuck up and stop being scared of a ghost.

Stepping out of the building you’re hit with cold air, you cross your arms and curse past you for not grabbing a coat. You’ll have to deal with it though, you chose this. The streets are bare tonight, they usually are after a confrontation between a hero and villain. It makes it a little easier to think for a while, and you can hit up the corner store and not be bombarded by a ton of people also wanting late night snacks.

The door to the corner store chimes when you open it, and you walk in, a rush of warm air saving your bare arms from the cold. The store is lined with chips, candies, drinks, and everything else you could ever need. The cashier gives you a nod and you wave back at him. He’s always been nice to you, the old man has been working at this corner store for longer than you’ve been alive. He’s saved your ass a few times, when you didn’t have any money. He’d give you a frozen pizza to take home and send you on your way. Walking to the back of the store you search the fridge for your AJ. Oh that sweet, sweet nectar, it can bring you out of any stupor or foul mood you might have. You grab four bottles and shut the fridge. The front door chimes again and you hear the tell tale sound of a gun being cocked.

“Give me eveything in the register.” A man’s voice is muffled, and you can barely see over the shelves, but you can tell it’s because of a ski mask. How pedestrian.

The cashier opens the register, you peek around the corner and watch as he sneakily presses the emergency button under the counter. He grabs the money and starts taking it out, sliding the bills across the counter. The robber bags the money.

“Where’s the safe?” He asks and jams the glock in the cashier’s face. The poor older man is scared to the point where he can’t speak. You wish you had your sword on you, you’d absolutely help out. “WHERE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING SAFE?!” The robber screams and when the old cashier doesn’t move, you quickly turn away, pressing your back against the fridges. The shot echoes in the empty store and your ears are ringing. Shit, Shit you’re alone in here.

7:13:57

The staff exit is ten feet away, but it’d put you in view of the robber. You could run to the front door and hope he doesn’t see you, but the door would chime. You can out run him, but you know you can’t outrun a bullet. Shit. Shit.

7:15:34

7:15:35

7:15:36

Shit, it’s been too long, you can’t reverse more than a minute in the past, it’s too hard. You should have done it immediately, but you were too much of a fucking coward.

The sound of footsteps are getting closer, you quiet your breaths, maybe he won’t notice you. He’s walking towards the back room. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears, you can feel yourself starting to shake.

TT: Cops ETA 1 min

Hal’s message flashes across your shades. One minute isn’t enough time. You can’t move, you’re completely frozen. Coward. You’re a fucking coward.

The robber turns his head and sees you. You can see his eyes narrow, he has blood covering his mask and the few spots of skin uncovered from the mask. Blue eyes, white skin, about six and a half feet, lines at his eyes, probably in his forties. All descriptors for the cops incase you manage to make it out of this. You need to run, but you’re still stuck, even as he holds his gun out.

Come on, you can freeze time, do it. Do it. DO IT!

The man freezes.

7:16:10

7:16:11

You didn’t do it. Why isn’t he moving? He has weird strings wrapped around his outstretched arm, and his legs. You look behind him and see a short man, he has a black beanie over curly messy black hair, deep brown eyes and dark brown skin are the only things showing between his hair and some sort of metal mouth piece that almost looks like a muzzle. He’s got on full military gear, patterned in black camo and thick combat boots.

“The cops will be here soon.” The man’s voice is projected through something in the solid metal mouth piece. “They’ll need to speak to you, but you can step outside while I apprehend him.” Oh. He’s a hero.

You stand up, and curse your shaking baby deer legs. “Right uh, thanks man. Uh, so you a hero?”

“Yes, now get the fuck out of here so I can cuff this motherfucker.” Wow, someone’s grouchy, not many heroes have the audacity to curse at civilians. It’s kind of funny. You finally get a hold of walking again and make your way outside.

TT: Are you okay, Dave?

TT: Dirk is out of surgery. He has to finish up with Gunman, but then he'll leave.

TT: Dave

TT: Shit

TT: Breath, Dave.

TT: You’re okay now.

Hal’s right, you need to breath. You didn’t realize your breathing was wrong, you weren’t even registering the words on your shades there for a second. The cops pull up, some rushing inside and a few going over to you.

“Are you the witness?” One of the cops asks, taking out a notepad.

“Yeah, sure am. Leave it to me to want some fuckin’ AJ and end up having a gun pointed to my head” You chuckle nervously, the cop doesn’t seem too impressed.

“Geneticist said he shot the clerk, is that correct?”

“Yep, poor man was scared shitless. Couldn’t move. Not that I got any right to talk, I fuckin’ froze too.” You slouch a little and suddenly realize you’re still carrying the apple juice. “Oh shit, I should pay for this, didn’t even realize I still had them. Fuckin’ clinging to them like they’re my own children, guarding them from the evil man with my life. Shh, it’s okay babies, mama’s not gonna let anything happen to her sweet children. What would your father do? Probably nothing because he’s an apple tree. Wait, shit that’s kinda fucked isn’t it? If he’s an apple tree, and they’re apple juice, does that mean I squished may poor apple babies and i’m just carrying around their like…apple blood?” The cops are looking at you with wide eyes. They probably don’t know what to do with your ramblings. You clear your throat. “Sorry, I ramble when i’m nervous.”

“It’s fine kid. Did you get hurt at all?”

“Nah, I’m fine. That guy in there grabbed him with those red string things before he could shoot. What even is his power anyways? Looks sick as hell.”

“I use my blood to reach out and control people with it.” The gruff voice of hero says from next to you. You jump a little. You’re really off your game tonight.

“Damn, that’s kinda nasty man.” You tell him.

“Look, are you guys done here? I think he needs to go home.” The hero, you think the cops called him Geneticist or something. Makes sense, sorta, since his deal is blood.

“Just one last thing, what’s your name, kid?”

“Dave Strider.” You answer.

“Need help getting home?” The hero asks.

“Nah, don’t live too far from here. Definitely not the worst thing I’ve ever had happen to me, just need to sleep it off.” You start walking, you can’t let the hero see where you live. What if he caught a glimpse of one of Dirk’s costumes?
“Hey asshole” He’s running after you, great. You turn on your heels and watch as he runs over to you.

“What?” You try to sound nonchalant, but you’re getting frustrated.

“You sure you’re going to be okay? I mean, you saw a man die. That’s not exactly something you can just sleep off.” He has his arms crossed, and you can see his thick brows furrowing under his beanie.

“Yeah, like I said, not the worst thing I’ve had happen to me.” You shrug and start walking again.

“Yeah like that isn’t a fucking awful thing to just tell someone. Come on, stop being a douche and accept some fucking help.”

“I don’t wan’t your help.” You snap at him finally. “I’m not some fucking charity case, man. I want to go home, see my family, and take the best goddamn depression nap i’ve ever had. For fuck’s sake, you heroes are all the fucking same. I’m not some damsel in distress who needs you to sweep her off her feet, I’m just a fucking twenty year old kid who’s been through some shit. Yeah I was fucking scared back there, but I was unarmed and the guy had a gun. What the hell was I supposed to do? I don’t have powers like you. Some times things are just fucking hard for people. Shit happens. We deal with it and move on.”

“Okay, yeah I get that…I’ll leave you alone.” He turns around and starts walking away. You kind of feel like a jackass, but honestly you don’t care right now. You don’t need his help, not now. Not anymore. One of the things that you and Dirk continue to do that Bro taught you, was to keep your powers secret. Bro’s plan was to debut you before anyone else got to you, but now it’s to keep Dirk safe. No one can know about his powers, and no one can know about yours so you can start helping him out soon.

– – –

When you walk back into the apartment Rose is nervously pacing around the livingroom. She sees you and runs over, wrapping her arms around your middle. Her face is squished up against your chest and you hug her back, holding two apple juice bottles in both hands..

“You’re not allowed to go out alone anymore.” She looks up to you, her eyes are red and puffy. She was crying.

“Yeah, I probably won’t be doing that for a while…but i’m fine Rose.” You ruffle her hair, making her headband slide back and popping off her hair. She doesn’t seem to care too much.

“I know, but…we didn’t know you’d be okay. It scared me, Dave. I don’t wish to lose another sibling.” She pulls back and rubs under her eyes, smearing her mascara slightly.

“I know. You’re not gonna. I promise. Nothing happened to me, I’m fine. Dirk’s on his way and everything is going to be okay. It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m okay.” At this point you don’t know if you’re convincing her or yourself.

“Goodness, I’m supposed to be the one comforting you, dear brother. I hope you know I will not allow you to go anywhere unarmed anymore. You’re to be filled to the brim with swords, perhaps a suit of armor would suit you better than this felt one you’ve been having me sew together.”

You laugh “Man, yeah that’d be fuckin’ great. Call the the knight of time, damn I’d fuckin’ love that shit, Rose.”

The door flies open and Dirk is in front of you in an instant. He has your face in his hands and he’s turning it side to side before he starts checking you over. He used to do this when you were little, check every inch of you incase you were hurt somewhere. “Dawg, I JUST got Rose chilled out. I’m fine.”

“Hal said you froze up.” Dirk tells you as he stops patting your ankles down. “Why didn’t you just run?”

“Uh, cause I can’t out run a psychopath with a gun? Besides, I wasn’t armed and…fuck I paniced okay? I was freaked out and paniced and couldn’t bring myself to stop time, a-and after the clerk died I paniced even more and then it was too long for me to rewind and I fucked up, okay? Can we just stop talking about it?” You’re talking faster than usual, you’re freaking out again. You don’t want to talk about it. Why won’t they listen?

“Okay, okay we won’t talk about it anymore. Rose, uh, why don’t you take his juice?” Dirk says calmly.

“Oh shit, I still forgot to pay for them. Fucking ran off with them right in front of the cops and that hero.” You look down at the AJ bottles in your hand. “I think I freaked them out when I started saying they were my babies and that if they’re my babies that means that I took the apples form the apple tree father and squashed them…yeah I probably made them think I really was fucked up from all this. Oh well, free AJ, man. Who cares.” You hand over three bottles to Rose and twist open the last one, downing it like your life depends on drinking this sweet sweet nectar as fast as you can.

“Ah, yes anyone who doesn’t know you would probably assume you were in some sort of shock.” Rose tells you from the kitchen.

“Yeah yeah. I’m gonna go off to my room and take a nap. Glad you’re okay too, Dirk. Jake’s power can be fucking scary. Thankfully it’s no match for you.” You clap him on the shoulder and walk off to your room. You’re ready for that depression nap.

Chapter Text

About a week later, you’re hanging out in your room. Dirk started his new job with the heroes, Rose has been working non-stop on whatever book it is she’s been writing, and you’ve been talking to John more. He’s been staying over at Jake’s to help take care of Jade, and Jane’s been helping out too. You feel really guilty about not seeing her much. You visited her in the hospital after her fight with Dirk, you saw how much pain she was in, and how depressed she got. You’ve been an awful friend, but John’s trying to get you and Rose to come over and visit her. Maybe you should, soon.

EB: dave

EB: dave, come on you gotta come visit her with me soon! jake's finally off bedrest or whatever and she's going to feel so aloneeeeeeee she misses you, bro. we all miss you.

TG: dude i do wanna see her

TG: but ive been dealing with shit ever since bro died

TG: and you know

TG: i saw a man die last week

TG: got my own shit going on

TG: but we should all totally hang out soon

TG: watch movies like we used to in high school

TG: itll be baller

TG: cool as shit

TG: coller than cool

TG: ice fucking cold man

EB: haha yeah it will be! i can't wait for us all to hang out!!!!!!!!

EB: how are you doing anyways man?

TG: honestly

TG: idk

TG: just kinda dealing i guess

EB: well i think it'll do you some good to hang out with us too

EB: get you out of the house for a little bit, man. you and rose and me and jade and it'll be perfect

EB: i won't make you guys watch conair this time i'm kind of over it honestly. i see what you guys meant about it being an awful movie

EB: so maybe we can try watching something else? ghostbusters is still cool

TG: you know what yeah ghostbusters sounds great right now

TG: how about tomorrow?

EB: yes!!!!!!!!

EB: i'll let jade know! she'll be so happy! you tell rose!

TG: sounds great see ya tomorrow eggderp

Okay, well you have plans for tomorrow so, that’s good.

“Hey Rose, we’re going to visit Jade tomorrow” You call into the hallway and watch as she sticks her head out of her room.

“Are you ready for that?” She asks.

“Well John kinda talked me into it.” You tell her.

“Hmm, well he does tend to have that sway over you.” She leans against her door frame and stares at you from across the hall. She’s implying something, and you’re not exactly sure what it is. “The cons of having a crush I guess.”

“What? Who has a crush? John and I are bros!” You panic, John’s straight, you’re straight, no one has a crush on anyone. Yes, you and John have a very good bromance going on, but that’s absolutely it.

“Perhaps, but I see the way you look at him, Dave. Perhaps you and I are two sides of the same coin?” Her eyes narrow, great she’s in one of her moods.

“Not everyone is gay Rose. You know this. I’m not gay, i’m the only normal one in this family!”

“Are you saying it isn’t normal to be attracted to the same sex? Oh dear, perhaps I should tell our older brother you think there’s something wrong with us.” She crosses her arms, her perfect manicured finger tapping on her bicep.

“Ugh, you know what I meant Rose. I’m the only straight one.”

“Yes, so you say. But you cannot deny the heart eyes you’re always flashing at John. It’s noticeable even behind your shades. You never stop talking about him and when he messages you, you always smile, even when you know people are around.”

“Dammit Rose, I’m not in the mood for this. Why can’t you just accept that I’m straight? I don’t have a problem with you and Dirk being gay as shit, so what the hell?”

“Because I don’t understand why you’re incapable of accepting something so simple about yourself.”

“Because there is nothing to accept! I’m going back to my room, leave me alone.” You snap at her, slamming your door behind you. What the hell is her problem? You hate when she does this.

“Bro isn’t around anymore! Get over your hang ups!” She yells at you through the door.

Oh fuck this.

You throw your door back open. “This has NOTHING to do with Bro! Not all my fucking problems have to do with him! Maybe I’m fucking pissed off because for some fucking reason you think you know me better than I do! I like John, but it’s because he’s my best friend! That’s it. Full stop. Not everything has to be seen as some sort of secret homoerotic mating dance! If you want to talk to someone about a secret gay crush, go talk Dirk’s ear off about Jake! For fucks sake Rose, I’m tired of this. I’m going out. Leave me the fuck alone.”

You grab your coat, you’re not getting caught in the cold again, no matter how angry you are. You stomp out of the apartment and flash step down the stairs, not even bothering to be careful this time. You need out of there.

TT: Hey man, I was thinking. What do you think about vigilantes?

TG: they're cool

TG: way better than heroes

TG: they actually do good for civilians

TG: why?

TT: I think I'm done with this whole villain thing. I thought about changing it up a bit, actually helping people out. Kinda been feeling like shit ever since Jade. And Jake's a pretty cool dude, so not all heroes are bad. Thought we could start tonight? I got wind of some drug dealers harassing a few shops near the apartment. I thought we could get them under control.

TG: holy shit

TG: we

TG: like you and me

TG: hell yeah dawg

TG: were doing this

TG: were making it happen

TG: lets be fucking vigilanties up in this bitch

TT: Totally dude. I get off at 6, meet me on the roof at 6:30

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

Dirk’s taking you out with him tonight! You’re going to help people! This is awesome. This is so fucking cool. You’re going to help the little people that heroes forget about, like the clerk at the corner store. These people have been harassed by drug dealers, mob bosses, even small time villians since before you were even a kid and you’re going to help them! This is fantastic! You never really had your heart set on being a villain, you really just wanted to help Dirk. You were tired of him doing stuff all on his own, getting in danger every night.

You’re so excited.

– – –

You’re standing on the roof, counting down the seconds until 6:30.

6:28:45

6:28:46

6:28:47

6:28:48

“Hey bro, I got a surprise for you, catch” You turn on your heels and catch whatever it is that Dirk tosses at you. You look down, it’s a slick screen, curved slightly with high grade metal. “It goes over your eyes, it’ll be like your shades, but it’ll make it easier to see at night. The glass is all black, and theres sensors on the sides near your temples that will read brian waves and show emoticons for your emotions. Thought you’d like it.”

You slip it on and it fits perfectly. “Holy shit, dude this is so cool!” You can barely see the little ^.^ that’s showing up on the screen. The night vision is fantastic, it’s not all green like night vision goggles, it just looks like someone turned the sun on and dimmed it a little so it wasn’t blinding.

“Yeah, Hal can speak to you through them too, theres also this.” He tosses a black mask at you, it’s one of those that covers the bottom of your face and pulls over your nose. Kind of like Kakashi from Naruto. “I don’t want them finding out who you are, I’m working on voice modifiers for both of us, but they’re not completely done yet.”

“Dude this is so fucking cool.” You slip on the cloth mask and do a little turn. “How do I look? I think the suit is fucking awesome, personally.” It’s a full red suit with a black button down and black tie. It’s made out of some sort of soft material, Rose said it was felt, but it doesn’t feel like those scratchy ass fuckers Bro used to have laying around.

“Lookin’ good kid. Now remember, if we run into any heroes, do not speak. I don’t want them catching wind of who you are, especially if we run into Egbert or English. They know us well enough that we gotta stop ourselves from responding until I get the modifiers working. You think you got this?”

“Totally, I’ll keep quiet. Like a fucking mouse, quietest fucking mouse you never heard.” You stop yourself from going on that rant any longer.

“Follow me.” He starts flash stepping across roofs and you follow behind him. Dirk’s always been faster than you, but it’s still easy to keep up. He stops a few blocks away and drops down into an alley way. You know this shop, you go here all the time. It’s a little music store that sells instruments. You bought your turntables here. You hate to think that the sweet old couple that owns this place is getting harassed for money, or whatever it is the drug dealers are doing.

“So according to what I heard, the dealers have been going into the shops from the back and stealing money. So we’re going to wait here and see if someone tries to get past us.” Dirk leans against the wall by the door and crosses his arms. “They’ve also been sending customers in to steal stuff from the shops so they can pay for drugs with what they steal, and the dealers turn around and pawn everything. Thankfully no one’s gotten hurt, but it’s only a matter of time before they steal from the wrong person and a fight breaks out.”

“Damn, that’s fucking shitty.” You tell him. “Do you think we’re going to find anyone tonight? I mean what if we don’t? Do we just stand around and wait all night? Or are we going to move on to somewhere else? Cause it sounds like it’d be hella boring to just stand around in silence until something happens.”

“That’s what a lot of this is man, just standing around and waiting to see something. Even as a villain that’s all it is. Waiting until I saw an opening, or some poor fuck who’s managed to be alone. But it’ll be fine dude. If something doesn’t happen tonight, we come back until it does.”

“Ugh, okay.” You start kicking at rocks and cigarette buds on the ground. “Did Rose tell you we were fighting?”

“She did. I told her she needs to stop pushing you. She doesn’t know everything, and needs to stop acting like she does. I know she’s got her visions, but that doesn’t make her omnipotent. She said she’d apologize to you. Don’t know if she actually will or not.” He shrugs.

“It just pisses me off sometimes, you know?! I mean how many times can I tell her I’m straight? I mean John’s my best friend, that’s it. There’s no secret romance going on. It’s just two bros being guys. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Dirk chuckles a little. “I know what you mean, but to be fair, I’ve always had trouble distinguishing platonic love for romantic. I mean, all my guy friends have usually ended up being friends with benefits, so I ain’t really one to talk about the difference.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Gross dude. I don’t wanna hear about your exploits.”

He laughs and you can see his mouth twitching up with a smile. “Just sayin’ there’s apparently a difference, but I’ve never found it.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” You sigh and go back to kicking trash.

“Shh, Gunman’s up there.” He whispers and you look at Dirk, watching as he stretches out his hands and sends off a splinter. Okay, guess they’re going to fight. You need to pay attention. You look up at the top of the building behind you, Jake starts fighting the splinter, it doesn’t take long for him to kill it. Shit, okay you can do this.

You flash step up the wall of the opposite roof and stand back. It’s been about thirty seconds, you still have time. You hold your hands out and turn back the record of time, sliding your hands around counter-clockwise. Jake reverses himself until he’s back to facing just Dirk in the alley. Great, you’ve got him confused, he won’t dodge the splinter this time. You watch as Dirk’s splinter slices Jake’s chest, and your eyes go wide when you realize it doesn’t hit. Dirk is at your side now and you turn to him. He doesn’t say anything, simply motions for you to follow him.

The two of you flash step across taller buildings, getting away from the hero.

“What the hell, dude. Why didn’t that splinter hit?”

“We aren’t villains anymore, kid. I ain’t killing anymore heroes, and I ain’t gonna hurt them either. I needed him distracted, that was enough.” He stands next to you, and you watch as the ashes from the downed splinter fall into his hand, melting back into his skin.

“Right, yeah.” You sigh a little. “So, what now?”

“We wait for him to leave, go back, and hope we didn’t miss anything.”

– – –

Nothing ends up happening that night, and by the time you make it home, it’s about six in the morning. You want to pass out right now, but you know you have to go visit Jade soon, and you’re so excited for that you don’t think you could sleep. Instead you wait out Dirk taking one of his legendary showers, and start working with your turn tables.

You turn the volume on your headphones all the way up, and start recording. You want to get lost in the music for a little while, ignore the world around you, and just be. Your hands move quickly against the records, feeling the groves of the vinyls under your finger tips. The bass is beating in your hears like blood through your heart. You speed it up, a heart racing with anxiety. You scratch the record a few times, palpitations caused by fear. Slowing it down, until the bass is almost unnoticable, forcing down your feelings of fear, keeping your heart beat unheard so you can focus on the next incoming strike. Slowly moving the records back to a normal pace, the base line of a beating heart. A skip in a beat. Brown eyes boring into your soul, messy black hair pushing underneith a beanie. Red, pulsing ribbons of blood grabbing a hold of a threat. A savior. The beat picks up, scared and frantic, jumbled and messy, uncertain and unknowing. Then, nothing. Your hands are hovering over the records, frozen in place.

You quit recording, and pull off your headphones. What the hell was that? Why the fuck were you imagining that fucking hero just now? Savior your sweet, flat ass. You save the recording, you’ll go over it later, but for now, you can’t bring yourself to listen to it.

It’s been a little over an hour, and you don’t hear water running in the bathroom. You don’t know how long Dirk’s been out of the shower, but you don’t care. You need to clear your head right now. You lock the bathroom door behind you and strip, stepping into the warm water.

Maybe you’re more messed up over the whole thing than you thought you were. That’s all it can be, right? You were riffing about being scared and that’s when you started thinking about Geneticst. His eyes were so intense, he was calm and strong, and you were just scared. Too scared to use your powers, too scared to run, too scared to fight back.

You turn the cold water off and feel the intense hot water sting your back. It hurts like hell, but it’s nice. Distracting you long enough to get that damn hero out of your mind.

Stepping out of the hot shower feels like walking into a freezer, you quickly dry off and pull on your jeans and long sleeved shirt. It helps warm you up a little, but what helps the most is blow drying your hair. You get it perfect, running a bit of pomade through your hair so it stays in place. You look at yourself through the steam on the mirror, your red eyes stand out even when obscured so much. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up being such a freak of nature, how all of you ended up being freaks. Dirk’s eyes are orange, and Rose’s are purple, Roxy’s were kind of a pinkish purple. The girls never had any qualms against hiding their eyes, they embraced their freakish eyes. Maybe it was because Bro never beat them for showing them.

Okay, that train of thought is done.

You step out of the bathroom and see Rose standing in the hallway. You should apologize to her for yesturday. You were being really shitty and shouldn’t have yelled at her like that. But you wish she’d just ease up on you.

“David.” She says coldly.

“Rose, come on, don’t do this.” She only calls you David when she’s mad at you. “I know I was a dick, but seriously, I need you to back off a little on that shit. It’s getting old and really fucking frustrating. I really am straight, but even if I wasn’t, do you really think bombarding me with accusations is the way to get me to realize it? I wouldn’t do this shit to you, I DIDN’T do this shit to you. Even when I watched you pine over that girl who used to live across the hall, I kept my mouth shut because I knew you’d tell me when you were ready. So can you please, for the love of God, stop it.”

She sighs. “You’re right. I’ll stop. I am sorry that I’ve been pushing this. I’ll leave it alone.”

“Are we good?”

“Of course we are.” She goes over and slips her arm in yours. “Come on then, brother dearest. Let’s go visit our friend.”

– – –

You’re slouched with your hands in your hoodie pocket, standing outside of Jade and Jake’s apartment. Dirk insisted on driving you all today, you think he just wanted to see Jake, but he won’t admit it. You’re a little worried about seeing him after last night. What if he realizes how much you look like the guy he saw with Ult? Hah, damn you’ve really got to come up with a name. But still, you’re really nervous.

“Hey guys! Thanks for waiting on me!” John comes running over and throws himself at you, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up in a big hug. It always surprises you how someone so nerdy and lanky can be so damn strong.

“Yeah man, no problem. Thought we should all go up together. Even though we’re all freezing our collective balls and tits off out here.” You shrug and he hops away from you.

“Lets go in then! They always keep it like a hundred degrees in there anyways, damn island folk.” He laughs and the three of you follow him inside.

Once at their door, John knocks rapidly. “Jadeeeee I’ve got a surprise for you!” He yells at the door.

The door opens and Jade is sitting in her wheel chair, her eyes widen in surprise.

“Hey Harley, hope you don’t mind the intrusion” You can’t help but smile at her, it’s been too long since you’ve seen her last.

“Of course I don’t! Come on in!” She wheels backwards and smiles brightly at you. It really is nice to see her again, she looks like she’s doing better just by seeing you. You’ve talked to her online a little and she said she was getting lonely with Jake going back to work, you hope this goes well for her sake.

The four of you walk in and immediately make yourselves comfortable on the couch. You sit on the arm of the couch, closest to Jade, and John is right next to you on his knees so he can see the video you’ve been planning on showing her. Rose is sat on one of the cushions like a normal person. Dirk fucks off to the kitchen to find something to drink. “Jade, you gotta check this dog out. I found it online a few nights ago and saved it specifically to show you in person.” You pull up a tiktok video of a dog bringing it’s toys to it’s dog bowl so he can eat with them. It’s cute a fuck.

“What a dog!” Jade beams “Look at him, how cute!” She starts laughing and smiling. You push your shades up and rest them on top of your head. It’s dark in her apartment and you want to see that smile better. You stopped caring about your friends seeing your eyes a few years ago. Bro would have killed you if he knew that when he was still alive. But it was always a relief to know your friend’s didn’t care about your freakish eyes. Dirk stopped caring if anyone saw his eyes after he started college, he needed prescription glasses and had to start wearing them instead, which have stayed on his face most of the time, the only exceptions being when he’s sleeping or when he’s Ult. But he was able to work out how to get his prescription in the shades as well.

The door opens and you all look over and see Jake walk into the apartment, he looks tired as hell, which honestly you are too, but he seems really wore out. It was his first night on patrol for a while though, he probably just isn’t used to the routine anymore.

“What a sight to see! It’s been far too long since you all have been here. I’ll be honest I’m rather knackered right now, or else I’d stay and talk to you all a little bit more” God Jake is such a fucking dork, you cannot understand what Dirk sees in him. Even if he does just see Jake as a friend, it’s embarrassing to hear him talk sometimes, like someone just ripped him out of a 1920’s radio show.

“Yo, dude come look at this dog first!” You’re back to watching the video with Jade, but you feel like Jake would appreciate this masterpiece too. You’re going to be nice to him, for Jade and Dirk’s sake. Not that you aren’t usually nice to the dork, but it’s just so damn easy to pick on him.

“I do love a good dog” He walks over and looks over your shoulder at the video. He snorts out a little laugh.“That is adorable!”

“It is!” Jade laughs happily, hunched over from laughing so much, hugging at her sides. Damn, you missed that laugh.

“Dude, let the poor man sleep.” Dirk has emerged from the kitchen and Jake’s attention is immediately gone. “Hey, man. Dave needed a ride over here, thought I’d hang with them for a while. Hope that’s okay” You watch as Rose looks over at your brother with a quirked brow. She was completely forgotten from that statement. Dirk’s off his game, which means he’s down bad for him. Completely head over heels for this nerd of a man. A hero. Oh shit, you’re going to have to talk to Dirk about not falling for him aren’t you?

Jake ends up walking off and Dirk plants himself on the back of the couch, turning on a movie. You don’t really care what it is, because now you and Jade are exchanging dog pictures, and Rose is commenting on how she wants to get a cat. Jade and her argue for a little bit about which is better. The fight ends with both of them threatening to dress up as their respected favorite animals for a year. You want to hold Rose to that, but you know they’re both just joking. Or at least Rose is, you’ve seen Jade completely unironically wear dog ears as an accessory, in public no less.

Rose declares it’s time to give Jade a make over and pulls out some lime green nail polish from her purse. She goes over and kneels in front of Jade, taking her hands and brushing on the laquore. You and John make eye contact and hop up from the couch, standing behind Jade and start braiding her hair. It’s all different sizes and of varying quality, but it has Jade laughing and smiling and that’s all you care about. It’s been too long since you’ve all hung out like this. You miss it.

“Oh, Dave. Theres this guy at work that I think you’d like. He’s a total dweeb and his movie taste is awful. He’s angry all the time and he comes up with the most hilarious curses. I think you two would get along so well!”

“Oh shit, dude, give him my handle, bet he’s fun to make fun of.”

“You have no idea! He’s a riot!” John laughs happily. “His name’s Karkat, and dude he’s so little too! I think that’s half the reason why he’s so angry! He’s like super short, it’s hilarious!” John laughs as he basically ties knotts into Jade’s hair, you can’t help but smile. Your best bro is always wanting you to meet his work friends, you’ve never asked him what he does for work, you know it would just be a lie anyways. You know John is actually Gustbuster, you know that Jake is Gunman, you know Jade was Space-Time. You’ve always known. John doesn’t hide his face very well, he wears a blue cloth mask around his eyes, but that’s it. You’ve heard him talk on TV, there is no mistaking that naisly voice for anyone else except your best bro. You only knew about Jade being Space-Time because of the timing of her paralysis, and thats how you found out Jake was Gunman. They all lie to you every day. Even Dirk is supposed to lie to you about where he goes during the day, but he doesn’t. He tells you all about his work, who he met that day, how they all act to high and mighty, and how much it annoys him.

Dirk turns around on the couch, dangling his legs off the back, and you look to see what he’s doing. You catch a glimps of Jake standing there, shirtless in all his hairy and muscular glory. Dammit, Dirk can’t stop looking at him. Great, just great. You really need to talk to him about not getting too attached to Jake. What happens if he finds out who he is? It won’t end well.

Chapter Text

You’re meeting up with John today so he can introduce you to his friend. You wonder what kind of Hero this Karkat guy is. You hope he’s at least decent, and isn’t one of the worst ones like Signless, who Dirk is constantly fighting with at work because he thinks anyone who does even the slightest thing wrong deserves to be in jail. You don’t know if you could stand being around someone like that.

You pull on your hoodie as you walk out to the livingroom, Dirk is sitting on the couch messing with some sort of mother board. “Hey man, I’m going to go hang out with John and his friend. I’ll be back later okay?” He just gives you a nod in return. He’s lost to his work now, you’ll not be hearing from him for a while. He’s lucky he has a day off today, or else Rose would be having his head for starting a project.

Dirk’s made so much money just in this first month of working, that he already has an apartment set up for you all. It’s in the nice part of town, where all the rich people live. You’re kind of going to miss the shitty little apartment you grew up in, but it’ll be worth it to not always feel liek Bro is going to walk in at any moment.

You’re meeting with John and Karkat today because Karkat refused to text a stranger on the internet, especially one that was friends with John. You don’t really blame him, it totally seems like a set up to one of John’s shitty pranks.

The three of you decided to meet in the park, which you’re suffering through the cold for this guy so he better be as unhinged as John made him out to be. You can see them sitting on a bench and you jog over to them.

“I swear to god Egbert, what the hell made you think I wanted to spend what little free time I have standing out in the cold like a dumbass?! Can you feel how fucking cold it is? Or is your brain too fucking fried to be able to feel the cold? I swear to god John, this is stupid. It’s all so stupid. I only agreed to meet up with your stupid fucking friend because I wanted you to stop talking at me with your fucking nookbreath idiocy!”

You laugh a little. “Oh dude, he really does yell a lot. I thought you were exaggerating.”

“Oh great, you must be the friend.” He looks up at you, damn he’s small, and his deep brown eyes meet your shades, and widen. Oh shit, you know those eyes and that crazy unkempt hair. This is Geneticist. He knows who you are too, damn. Great. He’s just going to be your friend out of pity now. You’re just some dumb kid who got caught up in some shit and he saved you as you had a panic attack with a gun facing you.

“Sup man, Dave Strider. I know, I know, you can’t even fathom that someone as hot as me is standing before you, gracing you with his presence. But come on, you gotta at least breathe there man. Don’t want to have to add you to the list of the chicks who faint upon seeing me. You’re going to ruin my cred if I gotta add a dude to that list. I already got my sister breathing down my neck with her bullshit theory that I’m into this dork, don’t need her knowing I made you faint. I’ll never hear the end of it” You smirk a little as you watch his face turn red, and he takes in a deep breath.

“What the actual fuck?! Why the hell would anyone be attracted to you? You look like a douchebag on stilts.” He growls a little, like actually growls like a dog.

John is laughing, hunched over on the bench. “I knew you two would get along well! Come on, let's go get something to eat, Karkat’s right, it’s cold out here.”

“I’m always right Egbert, not my fault you can’t seem to see my genius.” Karkat stands up and you swear he barely reaches your chest. He looked a lot taller in his hero costume, probably those boots. It’s always the boots. Dirk uses boots to make himself a little taller too, it’s something about assuming height that throws people off.

“So, Karkles, what do you do?” You ask as the three of you walk out of the park.

“I work most days, fucking bullshit is what it is. If I wanted to spend most of my time in boring ass meetings I never would’ve started working at an office. But apparently, I just hate myself so fucking much that I decided that was the path I needed to take.” Oh, so his cover story is office job, you wonder if that’s what John’s is too. No one questions an office job, it’s too boring to talk about.

“Damn, this is why I’m glad I do art commissions instead of getting a real job. I’m just going to mooch off of my bro until I find a nice rich lady to settle down with, and then I’ll never have to work again.”

“Dude, that’s the goal! Just never have to work at all! Have your wife’s servants taking care of you until you die!” John laughs again, it’s loud and boisterous and nasily. You fucking love it.

“You’re both idiots.” Karkat shoves opens the door to some Korean restaurant you’ve never been to, and finds you all a booth in the back. John sits next to you, and you’re pushed up against the wall with Karkat sitting in front of you.

“Come on, what do you do for fun, Kitkat?”

“Stop with the fucking idiotic names, bulgemuch!”

“Hah, dude what the fuck even is that?” You snort out a little laugh and skin through the menu.

“Doesn’t fucking matter, stop with the stupid nicknames. It’s annoying as shit.” He jerks his menu up from the table. “And for your information, I usually write or read on my days off, but here we are, not doing that. Instead, I’m being tortured by the biggest nerd I know and his douchebag of a friend.”

Damn, this dude is hilarious! “Come on, you know you love us. John said you two were bros. I gotta meet my best bro’s best bro!”

“We are not bro’s. If anything we’re acquaintances that happen to work together. I don’t spend my free time listening to Egbert go over his shitty wannabe stand-up routine, and I hate that I’ve been drug along here. The only reason I even thought about showing up today is because John said he was paying for our food and I’ve been wanting to try out this restaurant without having Kankri lecture me about how he thinks eating food from another nation is somehow cultural appropriation.”

“Dude, who the fuck is Kankri?” You know that’s Signless, Dirk’s used his real name a few times during his rant about him.

“My dick of a brother. He’s literally the worst. Pray you never have to meet him. I wish I never had, I’d rather have been shipped off to some shitty foster home than forced to live with him for eighteen years. But I never have luck like that.”

“Oh yeah, Kankri’s the worst. You know, I once heard him lecture Sollux about how insensitive it is that he complains about his brother. When I’ve literally heard him call Mituna the R-word.” John chuckles.

“Don’t even get me started on his weird fixation on Mituna. It’s revolting. Mituna’s perfectly fine as he is. It isn’t his fault he shacked up with the wrong villain. Even then, Kurloz was pretty good to him, what happened was an accident. At least that’s what Sollux told me.” Karkat grips his menu a little tighter. You wonder what the story there is, you don’t know these people, but damn if you aren’t a nosey motherfucker.

“What happened to this Mituna guy?”

“Mituna is my ex-boyfriend’s brother. He was dating Kurloz Makara, you know, the villain that makes people basically shit their pants with artificial fear? Well, apparently what happened was Kurloz had Mituna and his other girlfriend over, they’re poly, it wasn’t weird. Kurloz woke up in the middle of the night and something happened, no one really knows what. Meulin won’t talk about it, and Mituna can’t remember. But Meulin ended up deaf, and Mituna had serious brain damage from it. He was in the hospital for a while. Kurloz turned himself into Gunman after that. That’s all I know. Shit’s a fucking travesty. Mituna’s girlfriend takes care of him now, and Sollux, my ex, goes over a lot to help when she’s at work.”

Damn, what do you even say to that? He doesn’t seem upset that someone he knew was dating a villain though, which is interesting to say the least.

“Wow, and your brother gives this guy shit? That’s kind of awful.” You manage to say.

“Yeah, Kankri’s the worst.” He chuckles a little, his permanent frown twitching up in a little bit of a smile. You want to see more of that smile, you want to make him laugh until he can’t breathe.

The three of you talk shit for a while until your food comes. You got some bulgogi, and John ordered fries and chicken nuggets because he’s weak and his poor white pallet can’t handle anything in the restaurant. Karkat ordered a ton of meat, bulgogi, barbeque, and some other stuff you don’t really know the name of.

You’re watching him scarf down the food when he looks up at you through his thick eyelashes. “What, asshole?”

“Why’d you get so much meat?” You ask him as you take a bite of your steak, holy shit it’s so good and spicy. You love this place.

“I’m chronically anemic, asswhipe.” Huh, guess he probably does need a lot of iron with his power. You didn’t think about the drawbacks of that one. Not a lot of people face backlash from their own powers, but with him using his own blood, he probably loses a lot of it.

“Damn dude, sorry.” You go back to eating the heavenly steak in front of you. You decide you’re going to fuck with him. “So, like I keep thinking we’ve met somewhere before.”

This gets his attention, his head snaps up to look at you fully, and his eyes are wide.

“I just can’t place it, maybe we ran into each other on the street somewhere, but that doesn’t feel right. I don’t know, I’ll think of it.”

“I know we haven’t met before, I’d remember those douchey shades anywhere.”

“Aww, babe, you totally have a crush on me, don’t you?” You watch as he starts to get angry, you can see it on his face, his brows furrow, his frown gets deeper and you swear you can see a fire behind his eyes.

“Fuck you asshole! I do not have a crush on you! For your information, just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean that I like every goddamn jerk who walks within my eyesight. But I doubt you know that, given the blatantly homophobic comment you made earlier about your sister thinking you have a crush on the nerd over there. So why don’t you just shut your wind hole and leave me to eat in peace?”

“Dude, I’m not homophobic, I’m an ally, come on. I mean, literally, all my siblings are somewhere on the gay spectrum. My sister is literally the biggest lesbian I’ve ever met, Dirk is totally gay, like super gay. I once watched him throw up because he saw a boob at the club. Roxy, was like the biggest pansexual ever, like totally loved everyone. But like, I’m not a homophobe. That shit’s messed up. I just don’t like that my sister is always badgering me about thinking I’m into dudes, I mean I ain’t like that. There's nothing else to it.” You watch as he rolls his eyes.

“The douchebag doth protest too much.” Karkat smirks and you start laughing.

“Dude come on, don’t be like that. Even if I was into guys, why would it be John? Look at him” You motion to John who’s chugging his Pepsi because the ketchup is too spicy.

He gasps for air after putting his drink down. “Hey, I don’t think I’m the best example there Dave, Karkat totally had a thing for me when we first met.” You watch Karkat’s face turn even redder.

“Shut up Egbert, it was like, for a month at the most when we first met. Then I got to know you and any feelings for you other than absolutely platonic flew out the damn window.” You feel sick all of a sudden. You don’t know why, but you really hate this topic now. It’s making your stomach churn.

“Well, anyways.” You try to think of something else to talk about. “What do you read? You said you read in your free time.”

“I like romance novels. And before you even open your damn mouth, I know they’re trashy okay? I know they’re not realistic, but they’re good because of that. So fuck right off.”

“Oh my god, of course you do. You’re a total romantic sap, aren’t you? That’s fucking hilarious!”

He ends up screaming at you in the middle of the restaurant and the three of you get kicked out. You’re now all walking around the city together. Karkat is walking close to you, his arm brushing against yours. Every time he touches you, you swear you feel a shock. It’s probably that heavy-ass coat he’s got on, making static electricity.

“Okay well, this has been something. I need to head back home though.” Karkat tells you two.

“Aw, come on man, you gonna just bail on us?” You pout a little. You were really having fun. “You got my chum handle though right? You should text me or something.”

“We’ll see. I do gotta go, I need to be up early tomorrow.” Karkat waves at the two of you as he stalks off.

– – –

You’re laying in bed with your headphones on, listening to one of your mixes, the one that you made when you were thinking of Geneticist. All you can picture now is Karkat. You see his intense brown eyes, his messy black hair, and the pout of his lips. Damn, he’s kind of cute. He’s got those thick black eyelashes, and slight eye bags from not getting enough sleep. He’s angry and little, and you know he’s got muscles under those baggy clothes of his. You wonder what it’d be like to have those big arms wrapped around you, to feel those thick pouty lips on yours.

You sit straight up in bed. Oh shit. Oh shiiiit. What was that? Why would you think that? He’s a guy, you shouldn’t be thinking about how it would feel to kiss him! God, what if Bro finds out?

Dammit. Bro can’t find out, you’re safe. You’re safe. Shit. Rose was right.

You climb out of bed and toss your headphones off. This is stupid, so what if you have a little bit of a crush on a guy? Karkat’s cute as shit, you can accept that. It doesn’t make you gay, or bi, or whatever. You can have a crush and it not mean anything. That’s stupid. You know that isn’t how it works.

You stomp out of your room and knock on Rose’s door. You need to talk this through, even if she is going to be incredibly smug about it.

She answers, wearing one of her black silk slip nightgowns. Her short hair is a mess, and her makeup is smeared. You probably woke her up.

“What is it, Dave?” She yawns slightly.

“I think I have a crush on someone.” You blurt out.

“Okay? Why does that warrant you waking me up in the middle of the night?”

“Because I have a crush on a guy.” Her brows raise and she smirks at you.

“Come on in, brother. Let’s talk about feelings.” You step into her room and plant yourself on her bed, sitting with your legs crossed. “Is it John?”

“No it isn’t John…it’s worse than John. It’s Karkat, his friend. His HERO friend. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve been giving Dirk shit for so long about his super obvious feelings for Jake, and here I am, falling for a cute, short, angry douchebag of a hero. What the hell?” You run a nervous hand through your hair and watch as your sister sits in front of you on the bed.

“You can’t help who you like, Dave. I am glad that you’re having more of a problem with his job than you are his gender. I think you’ve grown up a little there.”

“No, no I am freaking out about him being a guy. I-I mean, it’s stupid for me to. Bro can’t find out. Bro’s dead. Dirk killed him. I shouldn’t be thinking that he’s going to overhear this conversation when he’s down burning in hell or just not existing anymore or whatever the hell happens after someone like him dies. I’m freaked out because this is something he would’ve killed me over. He almost killed Dirk when he found out Dirk is gay. I mean, you weren’t around then, you don’t know how bad it was. What he used to do…he really almost killed him Rose. I watched it happen, I-I couldn’t do anything to stop it either. I was just standing there, unable to do anything.”

Rose reaches out and takes one of your hands in her own. “It’s okay, Dave. It’s normal to feel like this. To be scared even when he’s gone for good. It’s a normal trauma response. No one blames you, no one thinks it’s crazy to feel like this. But you know he isn’t coming back. He isn’t going to judge you or hurt you. So you can do this. If you want to go out with this man, then do. No one will stop you. If he is worth anything he’ll understand your hesitations and your fears. You’re going to be okay.”

You lean over and rest your head on your sister’s shoulder. You can feel yourself shaking ever so slightly, and she places her hand that isn’t holding yours, on your back, rubbing soothing circles against your hoodie. “You were right about me.”

“I know. I might have had a vision of this conversation, parts of it anyway. I was sure it was going to be John.” She chuckles and plants a small kiss on top of your head. “Why don’t you stay in here with me tonight? So you aren’t alone?”

“I’d like that.” You pull away from her and flop on your back.

“Why don’t you tell me about this Karkat guy?” She lays next to you, turning on her side to face you.

“Rose he’s so cute. He’s got these big eyes, they’re so brown and pretty, he’s always angry, and theres like this fire behind them that’s so intense that I swear I could catch fire if I look into them for too long. And his hair is a mess, it’s curly and looks like he’s never taken care of it a day in his life, but it’s so cute. And he cuts his bushy eyebrows so that they’re those little bean-lookin’ things. His lips are so big and he’s always frowning so he’s got this little pout to them. When we were walking his arm kept touching mine and I thought his coat was working up some serious static electricity, but now I’m thinking there was just a spark there, like you know, a spark! I mean how stupid is that? And he totally had a thing for John when they first met and it made me sick thinking about it, so I was probably jealous, and he reads these stupid romance novels. He yelled at me when I called them stupid and we got kicked out of the restaurant. He’s so great, Rose.”

She’s watching you talk with a soft smile on her face. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah…yeah I do. I’ve never felt like this before Rose. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never dated anyone before. I’m a total romance virgin, and well, a regular virgin, but we don’t gotta talk about that. I mean I spent like ten minutes talking to him about how I’m straight. What if he doesn’t believe me when I ask him out?”

“Tell him you were just in denial, but you have real feelings for him. I’m sure he’d love to hear that.”

“Ugh, he so would. He’s such a sap. Damn, I hate feelings talk. But I guess I gotta if I want to go out with him, huh?”

“That you do.” She chuckles, her eyes are closing and you can tell you’re starting to lose her.

“Go on and lay down, I’m gonna turn on a movie and we can go to sleep or something.” She moves to where her head is on the pillow and you help cover her up. You turn on Netflix and find a stupid movie to watch. You fall asleep next to your sister.

– – –

The next day you’re thinking about how you should ask Karkat out when you get a message from him.

CG: HEY DOUCHEBAG IT'S KARKAT

CG: JOHN GAVE ME YOUR HANDLE A WHILE AGO BEFORE WE MET UP. FIGURED YOU'D WANT MINE TOO.

TG: hell yeah man

TG: i was just wanting to message you

TG: thought maybe we could hang out some

TG: maybe go on a date

TG: if you want to anyways

TG: you can always shoot me down

TG: and i can just go offline and lick my wounds like a sick puppy

CG: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT. YOU DON'T JUST ASK PEOPLE OUT AS A JOKE, DUMBASS. HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM? YOU SPEND A FUCKING YEAR TELLING ME HOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT BUT TOTALLY NOT HOMOPHOBIC EVEN THOUGH I'M PRETTY SURE YOU ARE

TG: nah dude thats the thing

TG: i kind of realized im not actually as straight as i thought i was

TG: probably bi if im being honest

TG: maybe pan

TG: tbh i dont know the difference

TG: i think it just depends on what label you want or whatever

TG: anyways

TG: my point here is

TG: i totally got a thing for you

TG: and wanna date you

TG: maybe kiss you if youre up for that

TG: its fine if youre not though

TG: i can handle it

CG: I'LL COME OVER AT THREE WE CAN WATCH MOVIES OR SOMETHING AT YOUR PLACE

CG: I HAVE WORK TONIGHT SO I CAN'T STAY TOO LONG

TG: no way

TG: seriously

TG: hell yeah man

TG: were doing this

TG: were making it happen

TG: were going on a date

TG: a cute little in house date

TG: ill even let you pick the movie

TG: even though i know it's going to be shitty

TG: hell yeah im going to take a shower and get ready

TG: see ya soon babe

CG: FUCK OFF, SEE YOU SOON

CG: AND DON'T CALL ME BABE.

You have a date!! You have a date with Karkat! Oh shit, what time is it?

12:58:31

You only have like two hours to get ready! You rush out of your room and out in the living room. Dirk is sitting there very obviously working on his costume. “Put all the villain shit away, right now. Go hide it somewhere no one can see. Karkat’s coming over. We gotta hide everything.”

“Woah, chill out, dude. I’ll just take my costume to the truck. Why is Karkat coming over? Ya’ll got a date?” Dirk folds up his costume.

“YES! Yes, he’s coming over for a date, and I need everything hidden right the fuck now. Holy shit I didn’t think this through, why did I let him tell me he was going to come over? What if he sees something? Shit, the swords. You need to hide the swords, take them with you or something. I don’t know. But they need to be gone.” You’re grabbing armfuls of sheathed katanas and wakizashis and running around the apartment.

“Here give me the swords, I’ll toss them in the back of the truck. I’ll be outta your hair for the date. I’ll have to grab our finished voice modulators too. Which, if you go out with me tonight we’re totally going to try out. But seriously, it’s going to be okay. I’ve been around Karkat a lot, he won’t notice anything.” Dirks putting the swords in a duffel bag, along with his costume and the new metal masks that he’s been working on.

“Okay, there everything of mine is hidden. Go get your suit out of your closet, along with anything else connected to Clockwork, and I’ll put them in the truck.”

You rush off and grab your suit off of the hanger, grabbing your screen shades and the cloth mask you wore before. Okay, you’re putting them in the bag now and everything is hidden. It’s going to be okay.

1:15:45

Okay, you still have enough time to get ready. You can do this. “I’m going to go shower.” You tell Dirk.

“Have fun on your date, kid. I think you two will be happy. Also, no more giving me shit about Jake, that just isn’t fair anymore.” He calls after you as you close the door to the bathroom.

– – –

You’re pacing around the living room, you sent Karkat your address about twenty minutes ago, and he said he was almost there. You’re going to be okay. This is going to go great. Rose said she’d stay in her room, she’s Facetimeing her girlfriend right now, so you know she’ll be in there for a few hours. Dirk went off to do something, you’re not really sure what. So it’s just going to be you and Karkat. You can handle this.

There's a loud knock on your door. You flash step over there, taking a deep breath and trying to calm your heartbeat. You open the door and see Karkat standing there, bundled up in his big winter jacket, his hands shoved in his pockets. He has a long red scarf around his neck, pulled up to his nose.

“Took you long enough, douchebag.” He punches your shoulder gently.

“Ow, man, that hurt. What the hell, you can’t just punch someone lanky like me and expect it not to hurt like shit. That’s it, I’m calling the cops on you, man. How dare you.” You laugh as he rolls his eyes.

He takes off his jacket and tosses it over the back of the couch, along with his scarf. He has on a tight-fitted grey sweater and skinny jeans. Damn, you haven’t gotten a good look at his ass until now, but holy shit, he’s got a nice rump. And his thighs, you want to feel them. Not right now of course, but eventually you’ll get your fingers on those soft fuckers.

“Stop being a pussy and put this in. It’s my favorite movie.” He hands you a movie case.

“What the hell is fifty-first dates?” You look at the cover, there is no way this grown-ass man actually likes this Adam Sandler movie.

“It’s a cinematic masterpiece. Now shut up, put the movie in, and come sit with me, asshole.” You happily oblige, putting the DVD in the Xbox and pressing play on the controller. You sit down with him and suddenly you don’t know what to do. Your hands are firmly on your own thighs, your back is straight against the couch. He’s sitting next to you, just close enough where you can feel the warmth of his thighs against yours, and his arms are crossed. His elbows are jutting against your forearm, and it kind of hurts, but you don’t mind.

He lets out a sigh and he hesitantly places his hand on top of yours. Your face heats up and you’re suddenly looking at him with wide eyes. He looks back to you with a frown, taking his hand away.

“If you’re uncomfortable, why the hell did you ask me out?”

“Shit, no I’m not uncomfortable I just, fuck, I don’t know what to do on a date, I’ve never been on one before. Not that I’m some freak who hasn’t dated until he was in his twenties…even though I haven’t dated until today, but not cause I’m a creep. I haven’t dated cause I never felt like anything for anyone, until you of course. Which is why I asked you out. I just don’t know what to do. I ain’t uncomfortable, so let's get back to holdin’ hands okay? It’s gonna be great. I bet I’m fantastic at holding hands. Unless my hand is like weirdly sweaty, and I just don’t know 'cause I don’t go around holding my own hand.”

“Shut up, asshole. I don’t think you’re a creep just because this is your first date. If anything it makes me feel a little better. I…kinda thought you’d be some sort of serial dater, or just a one-night stand kind of guy. But, I guess you’re not…just shut up and hold my hand. For fucks sake.” He manages to angrily hold your hand. You didn’t know someone could angrily hold someone’s hand, yet here you are, with your fingers intertwined against a very angry little man. He’s so cute.

Karkat leans against you about midway through the movie. He’s been chuckling at your commentary throughout the movie. You thought he would hate watching this with you, you know you can’t shut up during a movie, especially not one as bad as this, but he seems to like it. You’re currently looking down at him, watching how his cheeks push up with his little smile. You want to kiss him.

“Hey, Karkat” He looks up to you, through those thick eyelashes, and your heart skips a beat. Your hand cups his cheek and his face feels warm, his cheeks going bright red. He sits up a little straighter, and you lean down, pressing your lips against his. You have no idea what to do, but that’s fine because he quickly takes the lead. He’s moving his plump lips against yours, and you’re mirroring his movements. He presses you down to the couch and crawls on top of you, your lips not breaking apart the entire time.

He’s got his hands on your waist, gripping you tightly, and his tongue brushes against your lips. You gasp a little at the sensation, and suddenly you feel his tongue in your mouth. You’re floundering, trying to figure out what to do with your own tongue, you swirl yours around his, and he bites it a little. It startles you a bit, but you still don’t pull back. He moves his mouth down to your bottom lip and bites it a little, and you feel a wave of electricity shoot through you. You’re lost in the sensation of him kissing down your neck, then back up to your mouth, his hands are holding you down firmly, you can’t even think right now. All you know is that Karkat has total control of you, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You’re so out of it that you only notice Dirk come in when he clears his throat.

Karkat sits up and sees Dirk, his eyes going wide. He quickly scoots back to the other side of the couch, his face bright red.

You sit up lazily and look over your shoulder at him. “Hey man, thought you were goin’ out tonight.”

“Yeah, forgot my phone. Can’t leave that here if I wanna get some hot guy’s number at the club. Good for you two by the way.” He walks off to his room.

“Holy shit, holy fucking shit. Why didn’t I make the connection that you two were related, you both have stupid hair. I should’ve known.” Karkat is hiding in his hands.

“Dude, chill out. It’s just Dirk. I know y’all know each other through Jake or something, but he ain’t gonna tell anyone. He isn’t like that. Don’t get freaked out.” You place a hand on his back and he wraps his arms around you, hiding in your chest. “Come on, what’re you so worried about?”

“I don’t want Kankri finding out. He’ll want to meet you, and if you meet him you’ll never want to see me again. And I really like you, Dave. This has been the most fun I’ve had in so long. I like your stupid movie commentary, I like the weird rants you go on when you’re nervous. I like your stupid hair, and I like kissing you even though you have no idea what you’re doing. I like you and I don’t want this to end so soon.” He’s shaking a little.

“Shit, dude. If you think Kankri is going to scare me off, you’ve got a whole nother thing coming. I’m stubborn as fuck. I get he’s a dick, but you gotta think better of me. I’m not dating you for him, I’m dating you for you, and all your angry, loud fits, and your nerdy movies, and whatever else you got to throw at me. I ain’t goin’ nowhere right now. I really like you too Karkat.”

He peaks out from where he’s hidden in your chest. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, I guess.” You shrug slightly. “You like that about me though.”

“Yeah, I do.” He kisses you again, this time it isn’t so desperate, just soft and sweet. This is easier, your lips slowly moving against each other, your arms around his back, and his around your chest. It’s easy and perfect. You couldn’t wish for a better date.

Chapter Text

Karkat left after the movie, he kissed you goodbye and you’ve been floating on clouds ever since. You never understood what people meant when they said they couldn’t stand being away from someone, but now you do. You already want to text him and set up another date, but you’re in the middle of watching that music store again. Dirk left you here so he could watch somewhere else, if anything happens on your end you’re supposed to message him, and if anything happens on his end, he’ll message you. It’s boring though, waiting up on this rooftop.

Maybe you should text Karkat, but he said he had work to do. He’s probably on patrol right now, you wonder if you’re going to see him tonight. You don’t want to, the last thing you want is to held still by his blood. It freaks you out, honestly. The thought of someone controlling your body like that. Karkat wouldn’t ever knowingly do that to you, though. You trust him, he’s a good guy.

TT: Dirk needs help, now.

TT: He's three blocks north, one block west from your current location

TG: oh shit

TG: im on my way hal

TG: is he okay

TT: He's fine, he shot Jake. He isn't handling it very well, freaking out. He doesn't know what to do.

TT: shit

You start flash stepping across rooftops until you see Dirk in an alley, pacing back and forth. You drop down into the alley and look down at Jake, he’s bleeding out quite a bit, he looks pale.

“Dude, what the hell happened?” You look up at Dirk, you can see tears slipping down past his shades, and pooling at the top of the voice modulator. He has blood running down his neck out from under it as well.

“He shot at me, I reacted. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Reverse it.” He stops his pacing to look at you, his hands are shaking.

11:05:20

It’s been too long, you know it has, you’ve been training with your time reversal, but you can barely get it past two and a half minutes. Better than before, but not good enough.

“If I do that, you’re going to get shot. I’d rather this hero die than have you hurt. Not my fault you’ve got some sort of obsession with him, man.” They aren’t even dating! Dirk just has a fucking crush on him, and he’s willing to risk his own life, and maybe even yours, to make sure that Jake doesn’t die here?

“Fuck, fine. We gotta go. I gotta get back home and get outta this fucking costume. 9000, make sure he has someone coming to get him. I don’t want him to die.” He’s panicing. You can tell, you gotta calm him down a little. You know Hal is going to call the cops or an ambulance or something, because if he doesn’t Dirk’s going to get pissed. You take your brother’s hands in yours.

“Dude, let’s go. I get he’s your boyfriend or whatever, but if you’re making sure he gets back up, we gotta ollie outtie right the fuck now.” You pull him out of the alley, flashstepping away. “We can’t get caught near him. They’re going to arrest us if they find out you shot him.”

Dirk’s barely keeping up with you right now. “Dude, you gotta get it together. They’re going to call you into work to fix your own mess. You need to pretend like everything is fine. I know you caused this, but dammit Dirk, you’re going to be the one to fix him too.” You hang down from the roof and pull your window open, slipping through it, Dirk follows you soon after. “Now, go get cleaned up, go into work, and save your fucking boyfriend.”

Dirk nods, taking off his gear and laying it gently on your bed. “I think he broke my nose, it shouldn’t bruise, but fuck it hurts.” He pops his nose back into place and you wince at the cracking sound.

“Yeah, it’s going to. Now go shower, make it quick. Fuck. What the hell happened, man?” You follow him to the bathroom. You know you need to watch him right now. He could easily slip into a dissociation episode. You turn your back as he gets undressed and once he’s in the shower, you sit down on the toilet.

“I wanted to know what he knew…when he saw us outside ofthe music store. They know about you now, they don’t know anything about us…which is good. I just…I was worried, and I just wanted to talk to him, but he was going to shoot me and I reacted…I didn’t mean to kill him, Dave. I didn’t.” Oh shit, he’s crying now.

“I don’t think you did. You hurt him yes, but it was just a reaction. You didn’t mean to do this. Besides, you’re going to fix it. Wash your hair.” You tell him, knowing he’s just standing there. “You’re going to be getting a call any minute now, so hurry up.”

“I am hurrying up, but fuck, Dave. This is stupid, all of this is stupid. Why didn’t I just stop after Bro? Ult could have fallen into non-existence, why did I have to keep going?” His voice is cracking still, but you can see his hands moving, at least he’s washing up.

“Dude…I don’t know. I kind of get it though, I mean, we all villianized the heroes, all of them. We were blinded by hatred for them. They were supposed to save us, but they’d look at us and just think…yeah theres nothing wrong with those kids. Then praise Bro for being a hero and a single father. It’s shitty. It’s all shitty. I would’ve made the same choice you did. It’s getting harder and harder to hate them though. I mean John and Jade are heros now, Jake’s a hero…so is Karkat. It’s all a big tangled web of fuckups man.” You lean against the toilet tank and heave a heavy sigh.

“Yeah…it is.” Dirk mumbles.

“Wash your body.” You remind him.

“I love him.”

You sit up and look at the shower curtain, like he could see the expression on your face. “Shit.” You shake your head. “I really hope he never finds out, man…You deserve to be happy.”

“Yeah, I hope he doesn’t either.” The water turns off and that’s your cue to leave. Stepping out of the bathroom, you hear Dirk’s phone ringing, and you feel relieved. You didn’t want Jake to die, he’s a good guy and Jade needs him. You know Dirk couldn’t live with himself if he killed Jake. He’s barely living with himself now. He’s convinced he just killed the man he loves. You odn’t know if you could live through that either.

Dirk steps out, dressed in a fresh set of clothes that you brought with you. “Jake’s at The League, they’ve got him on blood transfusions, but they need me down there to do surgery.” He pockets his phone.

“You got this, man.” You pat his shoulder and walk off to your room.

– – –

Karkat calls you that night.

“Hey man, what’s up?” You ask into your phone. He doesn’t answer right away, but you can hear him sniffling. “Karkat?”

“Sorry…Dave, can I come over? I…I don’t want to be alone right now. I promise I’ll explain everything when I get there I just…fuck, I’m really freaked out but I need to explain everything in person.” He’s crying. Oh shit, he’s really crying.

“Yeah, come on over. I’m here. Just knock on the door.” You start grabbing yours and Dirk’s costumes and gear and shoving them into Dirk’s room, under his bed incase Karkat accidentally walks in there. “Are you okay though?”

“I’m fine, just…freaked out over something. I..I’m already on my way there, I’ll see you soon.” He hangs up and you run to the livingroom. He sounded really upset, you wonder if he heard about Jake. You don’t think they’re very close, but he’s probably still shook up over it.

Karkat is at your door five minutes later, knocking loudly. You let him in and you instantly have an arm full of tiny hero. He’s clinging to the back of your shirt, crying his eyes out, his little body is shaking, and you have to walk back a little bit so you can shut the door.

“Kar…what’s going on?”

He looks up at you, his eyes are puffy and red and filled with tears. “Theres something I haven’t told you yet, a-and I know we just went on one date, but if i’m being honest I…fuck this is stupid, we both said we really like each other, and I trust you for some fucking reason, so here we go. I’m a hero.” He doesn’t look at you when he says it. Shit, okay so you’re doing this now. You wondered how long it would be until he told you.

“Yeah man, I know.” Is not what you planned on saying, but it’s what comes out.

“What the fuck do you mean, you know?”

“I mean I know. You literally saved my life dude. You think I wouldn’t remember you?” He laughs a little at this, and it makes your heart sore.

“Okay, okay well most people don’t really notice. But okay, so that makes this a little easier.” He sits down on the couch, and pulls you down with him. “A hero got shot tonight…no one knows if he’s going to make it, a-and it’s freaking me out. I mean…I know this shit is dangerous, but, fuck Dave. When it gets shoved in my face like this, I-I get scared. What if it was me that Ult found? I-I mean, I can’t beat him. Space-Time couldn’t beat him a-and she’s the best of us all. Ult has us all terrified, Dave. Some of the best heroes are thinking about quitting o-or moving out of the city at least and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared, and I feel sick to my stomach about it because how selfish is that? I’m supposed to be doing this to save other people, not to save my own ass. But I am scared. I’m scared of dying. I didn’t claw my way through homelessness, poverty, a-and goddamn torture to be a hero, only to be scared shitless when facing a real villian.” He’s looking down at his hands, shaking violently.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I can’t say I understand the pressure you’re facing, but, I know what it’s like to be scared for your life all the time. That shit sucks, and honestly I think anyone in your shoes would feel the same way you do. And, for what it’s worth, I know you can still do good things, even if you’re scared. You saved me, I’d like to think that was good. You can keep people still, and if you’re in the right place at the right time, I bet you could do that to Ult too.” Oh great, you’re giving your boyfriend ideas on how to capture your brother. What a smart man you are. But the way he’s starting to relax is good enough reason to you.

“You’re right…you’re right. Thank you…for letting me come here and letting me freak out. I didn’t know where else to go.” He rests his head on your chest and you wrap your arms around him.

“Anytime, Karkat.” You kiss the top of his head.

“So, does that mean you know about the other heroes?” Okay, subject change, you get it.

“Yeah, I know about John, and Jade, and Jake. All those J names. I know they’re all heroes. I know Dirk works for y’all too, he didn’t tell me. I just kind of picked up on it. He’s always coming home being all, 'you wouldn’t believe what Jake looked like at work today, oh my gosh I want to kiss his ass, it’s so nice in those little shorts’ it’s kind of hard not to realize it after that.” You chuckle and feel him laugh against you.

“Oh shit, wait.” Karkat shoots up. “Oh my god.”

“Karkat, whats wrong?”

“Jake’s the one who got shot. Oh god, Dirk got called in to do his surgery. Holy shit, I hope he knows what he’s doing…I can’t imagine the pressure he’s feeling right now. He is obviously in love with Jake, and now he has him lying on a table, trying to put his heart back together. It’d be beautifully poetic if it weren’t so heartwrenching.” Karkat leans back against you.

“Oh fuck. He’s going to be a mess when he comes home.”

– – –

You and Karkat fell asleep on the couch, holding each other. Dirk wakes you up in the morning with a kick to the arm.

“Dude, wake up.” You open your eyes behind your shades and look up at Dirk.

“How’d it go, man?” Your voice is groggy and your throat is sore, you probably slept with your mouth open again.

“Mmm, shut the fuck up and let me go back to sleep,” Karkat mumbles into your chest.

“Come on Karkat, you wanna know how he’s doing, don’t you?” Dirk asks, his arms crossed. Karkat sits up and almost headbutts you.

“Yes, how is he?” he asks worriedly.

“He’s good. Everything went well. I want to kill your brother, but that’s normal for me.”

“Thank god,” Karkat sighs. “What’d Kankri do now?”

Dirk looks between the two of you. “You told him last night, didn’t you?” Hal probably told Dirk about that conversation.

“Yeah…Yeah, I did.” He looks away.

“Good, Kankri was fighting with me because I didn’t want him bothering Jake after he just woke up from open heart surgery to fix his artery. Kankri wouldn’t have it. Turns out he wanted to question him about something Ult’s partner said last night. Something about him being Ult’s boyfriend. Kankri showed me the video after he stopped talking to Jake; it was obvious it was just a joke on his partner's half. But you know Kankri, always paranoid ever since shit went down with Cronus.”

“That asshole! Of course, he isn’t dating Ult. How stupid does he think he is? I mean, I know he thinks Jake is a moron, and so do I, but give the guy SOME fucking credit.”

You can’t help but feel guilty, that was your line yesturday that got Jake into trouble.

“Wait, why is Kankri showing you information like that?” Karkat asks.

“He thought that since I was a civilian, I might be able to recognize the voices, but honestly, they’re so changed with those new mask things that it’s hard to tell.” You can tell that Dirk is a little smug about his inventions.

“They’re getting desperate.” Karkat sighs. “Ugh, I need to get home…thanks for letting me stay over, Dave.” Karkat kisses your cheek, and you smile brightly.

“Anytime. Let me know when you make it home.”

Chapter Text

Dirk hasn’t left his room since last night. You’ve tried to go in and check on him, but he’s locked the door. You could pick the lock, but you don’t want to break in unless you know something bad is happening. Dirk tends to blame himself when things go bad, but usually you can convenience him it isn’t his fault. Now, you have no idea what to tell him. It is his fault that Jake got hurt, even if it was just an accident. There isn’t much you can say to make things better for him. But you want to try.

“Has Dirk left his room yet?” Rose appears behind you and you jump, holding your chest.

“Jesus fucking christ Rose! You can’t just do that to me. No he hasn’t left, he’s locked the door on me and I don’t know what to do. He almost killed Jake. He told me he loves him. Can you imagine if this happened with you and Kanaya? How you’d feel knowing you almost killed her? Cause I feel sick when I think about this happening to me and Karkat, and we just started dating.” You’re pacing in front of his door now, Rose watching you closely.

“Yes, I can imagine that it is very hard on our elder brother. But Dave, he isn’t your responsibility. I know you want to help him, but maybe he just needs some space.” She puts a perfectly manicured hand on your shoulder, and you stop pacing, turning around to face her.

“He doesn’t need space, Rose. Space is the last thing he needs, because if we just ignore him like this, then…then he might do something. I don’t want to see him bleeding out again. I need him to know that we’re here for him! Because if he doesn’t know then, then he might do something. You haven’t seen him when he’s in a death spiral, Rose. This is dangerous. I know he isn’t trying anything right now because Hal hasn’t said anything. But he might a-and I need to know he won’t try anything.”

“Dave…has Dirk tried to kill himself?” Her purple eyes are wide, looking at you, questioning and scared.

“Of course he has! He blames himself for everything, Rose. He thinks he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Everything bad that’s ever happened to us has some how been his fault. He blames himself for Bro targeting me, because he thinks if he was just better then he wouldn’t have changed to training me. He thinks that he can fix things that just can’t be fixed, and when he realizes it, he does this. He locks himself away for days on end, a-and doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep, just…he barely exists, and I get so fucking scared when he’s like this because I never know what the hell to do. What CAN I do?” You’re shaking now, you don’t want to think of the last time Dirk got like this, but you can’t help it.

You were thirteen at the time, Bro had been gone for a good two weeks, left you both without anything to eat, didn’t pay the bills. Thankfully your landlord pitied the two of you and didn’t kick you out. Dirk was nineteen and was struggling through finishing his undergrad courses, and studying to get accepted into medical school. He was so focused on it that he didn’t realize you were out of food. You took it upon yourself to try to steal something from the grocery store. Dirk got a call from the cops, they had arrested you. Thankfully they let you off with a warning after explaining the situation. Dirk locked himself away in his room for two days before you finally broke into his room. He was slouched over his desk, holding a knife in his shaking hand, pressing it against his wrist. You caught him before he could do anything, but the intention was there. You never want to see him like that again. It wasn’t too long after that, that he made Hal, a splinter placed directly into the internet, made to watch him incase he did something stupid again.

Dammit, everything feels like it’s closing in around you. Rose’s hand is burning into your skin. Why is she touching you? Why is she still touching you?! You jerk away from her, pressing your back against Dirk’s door. It feels like your entire body is tremoring, even your eyes are shaking. Why is everything so blurry? Why can’t you fucking see? You push your shades up into your hair and press the heels of your palms against your eyes. Why do your hands feel wet? Oh shit, are you crying? You try to take in a breath, but it ends up being gasps. You’re gasping for air like you’re drowning on land.

“Dave, you need to breath.” You can barely hear Rose’s voice over the sound of your heart beat, and the ever present ticking of time. It’s always there, tick, tock, tick, tock. TICK, TOCK. TICK, FUCKING, TOCK! It won’t stop, nothing is stopping. Why won’t the sounds fucking stop? Why can’t you breath? Oh god, are you dying right now? It feels like your dying. You start clawing at your chest, your nails digging against the cloth of your shirt.

Rose is in front of you now, reaching out to you. You jerk away so hard you bang your head against the door. Don’t touch. Don’t touch. Can’t get hurt. She puts her hand down. Good. Touch is bad. You don’t like being touched.

Your back falls against the ground, someone opened the door you were leaning on. Now you’re on the cold hard wood floor. You turn your face so your cheek is against it. The cold wood feels nice against your hot face.

“Dave.” Oh it’s Dirk. Dirk is good, Dirk is safe. He crouches down, you flinch again, shutting your eyes tightly. Don’t touch. “I’m okay lil’ man. I just needed to be upset for a while. Everything is good. No need to worry.” You shake your head softly. You can’t bring yourself to speak right now. It’s too hard, and everything is too much.

You push your shades over your eyes, trying to drown out at least some stimulation. The screen on your lenses is showing a slowly pulsing red dot with orange light glowing behind it. Hal’s trying to calm you down. You follow the dot, taking in a deep breath when it expands, and letting out as it shrinks back down. You do this for a little while until your brain starts working again.

“You good now, kid?” Dirk is sitting next to you, still keeping his distance so you don’t have another freak out.

“Yeah…yeah sorry. Are you okay?” You can’t look at him. You’re pathetic, sitting here being comforted by him when he’s suffering.

“I’ll be okay. I gotta go back to work today. I just needed some time to be sad, blame myself, you know how I work.” He shrugs like it’s nothing. “I’m not going to do anything stupid like that again, Dave. I ain’t gonna leave you two like that.” He stands up and you follow his movement. Your legs hurt and your knees creak a little, your body is so tense every muscle is pained.

“Can’t help but worry sometimes.”

“I know, but you don’t gotta. I’m fine. Jake’s okay, and he’s going to heal up fine. I do gotta run though, I’ve gotta check on him and do some check ups on some of the other heroes.” Dirk gives you a nod before he starts walking away. You watch his back retreat out the door. He’s faking how well he’s taking this. Dirk doesn’t just bounce back from a death spiral like that. Something is going to make him crack, and you don’t know when it’ll happen. That’s what scares you. It could get worse at any moment.

“Dave…are you okay?” Rose asks you softly, standing across from you in the hallway, keeping her distance this time.

“Yeah, as fine as I can be. Just bein’ stupid. Don’t worry about it.” Stalking back to your room, you close the door behind you, sitting at your desk with your turntables. Placing your headphones on, you start out a slow beat, using your other hand to add more sounds over it, layering sound after sound. It’s chaotic, scrambled, and senseless. You raise the volume of the slow beat gently until it takes over, completely overbearing the rest of the jumbled sounds. One by one, you remove the background noise, until it’s just the slow beat and a gentle voice humming a tune. You focus on the humming, raising it’s volume, so it’s clear. You had Dirk record this sample for you when you were younger, it’s some song he used to hum to you when you were having a bad day. You don’t even know the name of the song, but the melody always makes you feel better. You slowly ease out the beat until it’s just Dirk’s soft humming, and a wave of comfort washes over you.

Dirk always makes you feel safe, he’s always been there to protect you when things got bad. He still tries to protect you, but you feel useless sometimes. You want to help him too. You got tired of seeing him bruised and bloodied after a fight with whatever hero he got caught up with, so you wanted to help him fight. Maybe if he wasn’t alone he wouldn’t get hurt so much.

Great lot of good that plan did you. He may not be getting physically hurt now, but you know he’s overly worried about you. He tracked Jake down just to make sure he didn’t know about you. Dammit. You’re just getting in his way again. All you want to do is help, but you never have. You’ve always just been a burden on him, something he has to watch over and put his life to the side for. If you were just stronger, none of this would be a problem. Dirk wouldn’t be a wanted man, yeah sure maybe he would’ve killed Bro anyways because Bro deserved it, but maybe he wouldn’t have decided to keep being a villain. He could have just been some one off villain that dissolved into obscurity and the three of you could just live together like nothing was wrong.

Sighing, you lean back against your chair, letting it tip back a little as you look up ot the ceiling. The house is too quiet now that you’re not working with your music. Maybe it’s the residual adrenalin lingering after your panic attack, but you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, like something is watching you.

Turning around in your chair, theres nothing behind you. You’re being paranoid again. Of course you are. It’s been paranoia for the last few months. Bro isn’t coming back. You watched him get decapitated on live television. There is no coming back from that.

That’s just something you need to remember. There is no way that Bro can come back from the dead. But no matter how much you remind yourself of that, you’re so fucked up that you still get scared of him being around every corner.

– – –

“Yeah babe, I’m goin’ over to Jade’s place right now. Jane is taking her later to go back to visit Jake, but Rose and I wanted to go see how she was doin’ and see if we could help her out.” You’re walking side by side with Rose while you talk to Karkat on the phone. He wanted to make sure someone was going to go check on Jade. Apparently they don\t really get on too well, but he still worries about her.

“Good. Tell her I said hi or whatever. I’ll let you go. But uh, would you want to hang out soon? Maybe go on another date or something? I really liked watching that movie with you. Your commentary is stupid as shit, but it’s funny.” His voice is gruff and slightly breathless, he’s probably training or something.

“Yeah man, that’d be great. Everything good on your end? You sound winded.”

“Doing some cardio right now, last time I ran after someone I wasn’t fast enough so I’m trying to fix that. I fucking hate running though.” He takes a deep breath.

“Ha, that’s were we differ. I fucking love running dude, nothing clears my head better.” You and Rose walks up the stairs to Jade’s apartment. “Shit, we’re here, I’ll call you later okay?”

“Alright, you have fun. Talk to you later.” Karkat hangs up and you pocket your phone, knocking on the door to Jade’s apartment.

Jade opens the door and wheels back to let the both of you in. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming over.” Her smile is weak, not quite meeting her eyes.

“Anytime Harley.” You tell her. “Any word on Jake?”

“Oh he’s doing better, he should hopefully be home today or tomorrow. It’s been a really long week though. Jane’s been coming over to drive me other there to see him. He’s keeping cheery, but I honestly don’t know if he’d tell me if he wasn’t doing good.”

“He probably wouldn’t, but you know he doesn’t like for you to worry about him.” Rose goes over and tucks a strand of Jade’s hair behind her ear. “Dirk seems to be very hopeful about his recovery, so I do believe you shouldn’t worry.”

“Oh that is really good to hear!” Jade beams, and smiles up to Rose, you can see the worry leave her eyes.

“Alright, so, what do we wanna do? I know you’re going to visit Jake this afternoon, so lets get started on the festivities!” You jump on the couch and land on your back, watching as the two girls giggle at you. Jade wheels over so her chair is in front of you, leaning over and patting your stomach, playing the drums. You can’t help the loud laugh that bubbels out of you. “Dude! Stop!” You wiggle away from her slapping hands and perch on top of the couch.

“Hey, that’s cheating Dave!” Jade laughs happily and moves back to her spot next to the couch.

“He’s sneaky like that.” Rose goes over and sits closest to Jade. “I brought more nail polish this time, I’ve been practicing doing nail art, and I think I can paint some pawprints this time.”

“Oh my goodness! That would be amazing!” Jade holds her hands out to Rose, and your sister removes several bottles and brushes from her purse.

“Karkat wanted me to tell you he said ‘hi’” You lay on the back of the couch, propping your head up with the palm of your hand.

“Did he really say that, or did he call me a pathetic bitch?” Jade chuckles to herself.

“Nah, he wanted me to tell you ‘hi’ kids worried about you, Harley. He doesn’t think y’all are close enough for him to come visit, but he does worry about you.” You watch as Rose paints a line green base on Jade’s nails.

“Huh, well, he can come over when ever he wants, as long as he promises to not be too much of an ass. I still can’t believe you two are friends.” You feel bad not telling your friends about your true relationship with Karkat, but it’s not something you really know how to do. John might know, if he does he hasn’t mentioned it. You didn’t ask Karkat to keep it a secret or anything, so you expect him to tell John. You almost really wish he would so you wouldn’t have to come out to him.

You don’t miss the side eye Rose gives you.

“Yeah, he’s pretty rough around the edges but he’s fun to be around. Kinda like the angry thing, it’s funny getting him all riled up.” You shrug a little, trying to avoid Rose’s eyes.

“It is, isn’t it!” She giggles a little. “Gosh I used to have a big crush on him, but we would fight aaaalll the time. We just didn’t clash very well.” Jade watches as Rose blows on the ringernail polish.

“You had a crush on Karkat?” Suddenly you feel a little guilty.

“Yeah, but it’s all gone now. I kind of have someone else I like now.” Jade looks away and you can see a soft blush appearing on her cheeks.

“Damn, Harley, who is it?”

“I worked with her before I got hurt, her name’s Nepeta. She’s really cool, kind of dorky, but we’re into a lot of the same things, though she’s a cat person. But everyone has their flaws.” Jade’s buckteeth poke out a little as she bites her lip.

“Ah, yes. Kanaya has mentioned Nepeta before. She does seem a little…unique, but I am glad to hear that you’ve found someone. Have you spoken to her recently?” Rose smiles softly.

“Yes! We talk online quite a bit actually. She likes to role play on there and it’s actually quite fun! Her character is this really cool huntress cat, it’s very much her.” Jade’s eyes light up as she starts talking about her crush. It makes you really happy to know that she’s found someone else, your guilt is starting to wash away.

“Sooo, you goin’ to ask her out?” You kick your feet as you lay on the back of the couch, really playing up this girly sleepover activity.

“I think so, maybe? I don’t know if she likes girls or not. Or if she dates, honestly. I mean, she’s mentioned being ace, which doesn’t really bother me, but what I don’t know is where she falls within that category. Like if she’s aromantic I won’t pursue her you know? I am happy being her friend though. No offence to you two, or John, sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who really gets your interests.” Aah, so Nepeta is a furry too, makes sense.

“Nah, I get it. Sometimes theres just a connection that’s stronger than any you’ve had before. I get that. Y’all seem to have a reall good thing goin’ on either way.” You give her a soft smile, and she flashes a blinding one back to you.

“Do you have anyone with a special connection?” Jade’s asking the right questions today apparently. Maybe you should tell her? She basically just came out to you and Rose, maybe you should return the favor?

“Oh uh, actually yeah. Karkat and I are dating. It’s only been like a week or so, but yeah I think theres somethin’ special there.” You can’t look at her face. What if she reacts badly?

“That’s amazing Dave! I’m so glad you found someone! I was starting to get worried you were going to be alone forever!” She giggles, and Rose laughs along with her.

“You two are so mean to me!” You drape yourself half way down the front of the couch, your arm over your face as if you were fainting. “I could get any chick or dude I wanted, thank you very much.”

“And yet, you chose Karkat.” Jade giggles. “I mean, I can kind of see it, but you two are so different!”

“Yeah, I kind of like that about him, honestly. I don’t know, he’s a huge fucking dork, but he’s so genuine about it, and it’s easy to tell what he’s thinking. He wears all his emotions on his face, it’s relieving in a way.”

“You’re falling for him already.” Rose looks up to you, stopping her painting.
“Hah, what? No. We’ve only been together a week! That’s just weird and pathetic.” You sit up, running your hands over your knees, feeling the rough denim under your palms.

“I don’t think so, it’s romantic. I always hear your first love is when you fall the fastest.” Jade chimes in. No, no you aren’t…you can’t. You don’t. You can’t even think it.

“Will you two stop teasing me?”

– – –

Jake is back home and you’re back over at Jade’s apartment, Dirk has been doing a lot better now that he’s been able to watch Jake’s recovery, and you’re proud of him for that. You honestly thought that Dirk was going to fall off the deep end if something happened to Jake. You don’t want to keep thinking about that, but it’s hard when you stay up, sitting outside of his room, listening for noises until he walks out and tells you to go to bed. You get worried that one of these nights you’re going to hear his katana unsheithing, and you’re going to have to break his door down.

On nights when Dirk is doing better the two of you have been watching over the local stores, Dirk’s managed to bag one of the drug dealers, tied him up and left him for the cops. No one knows who did it, and you’d like to keep it that way. Intimidation works wonders for getting what you want.

Dirk follows Jake into the kitchen a while ago, they’re probably flirting their asses off right now. Which sucks, because you’re really fucking thirsty, but you don’t want to see the pining looks and heart shaped eyes they flash at each other all the time. Or the way that Jake looks at your brother like he’s stalking his prey. It’s kind of creepy sometimes, but whats worse is you know how much your brother likes being looked at like that. You shouldn’t know these things, but one thing about being a Strider, is sometimes you let things slip that no one but you and God need to know about.

“Hey guys, soups up.” Dirk walks in carrying a couple bowls in his hands and sets one down on the table, and hands one to Jade who happily takes it. You’re watching Dirk, his eyes are red and slightly swollen. Fuck, was he crying in there? What the hell happened that made DIRK cry? You’re going to kill Jake if he did anything to hurt him.

Dirk seems to notice you bristling and he gives you a soft smile, and a look that tells you that he’ll talk about it later. You’re going to be on edge the entire time, waiting to know what the fuck happened in the kitchen.

Jake comes back out with two bowls in his hands and two cradled between his elbows and chest. Dirk rushes over and takes the ones out of his elbows and places them on the table before taking his own from Jake.

Jake sits on the couch next to Rose, and Dirk places himself on the back right behind him so that Jake can lean back between his legs. They’re disgusting.

“So, what film are we watching tonight?” Jake’s boisterous voice rings over you all.

“I was thinking we could watch a very bad rendition of a book. I rather despise this movie, but it is rather fun to make fun off. Percy Jackson and the Olympians.” Rose is flipping through some streaming app in order to find it before finally playing it.

The movie is just as terrible as the last time you watched it, and it is so fun being able to comment on every missed opportunity, every detail that was gotten wrong. Jade finds it hilarious when you start ranting mid-way through the movie, angry that they completely skipped the sceen in the St. Louis arch. It was one of your favorites from the books, especially knowing that Percy could never actually make the jump from the arch into the river. It’s so funny to you.

By the end of the movie Jade has her head resting on Rose’s shoulder, sound asleep, Jake and Dirk are talking quietly to each other, Dirk’s chin resting on top of Jake’s head. And you feel alone. You wish you had invited Karkat, but he still isn’t comfortable coming over here. You miss him, it’s been a few days since you’ve had an at home date with him. He’s so cuddly now, it’s so sweet. If only he were here right now, so you could hold his warm body against yours, instead of feeling the chill of loneliness suround you.

– – –

Karkat is sitting on the couch with you, his cheek is pressed against your shoulder, his thick fingers playing with your lithe ones. He’s got one of his romance movies playing in the background, but neither of you are paying much attention. Instead, you’re focusing on each other.

You lick your lips a little, watching as he rubs his tumb over one of your fingers, his long nails brushing against your knuckles. He holds your hand between both of his and rubs them, trying to warm up your permanently cold hands.

“Not gonna work, babe. Those puppies are always going to be icicles.” His harsh brown eyes look up at you, his thick lips curling into a smirk. You can see his teeth poking out just a little, they look sharp, too big for his mouth and slightly crowded together.

“Bet I could find a way to warm them up.” He moves closer to you, his broad shoulders boxing you up against the arm of the couch. Oh, Oh shit. He’s making a move, THE move isn’t he?

“Hah, well, why don’t you show me then, tiger?” You some how manage to keep your voice steady, but inside you’re freaking out. You knew this could happen, you’re alone in the house right now, Dirk is out with Jake, Rose is off visiting Kanaya. Hal made sure to tell you he was turning off the microphones and speakers. Shit. It’s the perfect time.

“I could, if you want.” His mouth is on your neck before you can even answer, a shiver running up your spine and you grab a hold of the back of his shirt. Your head is reeling, trying to understand the sensations you’re feeling. It’s all so new to you, and damn does it feel good having those too big teeth brushing against your neck.

Your hands release his shirt and hesitantly side underneath, feeling his back muscles, his skin warm, making your fingers tingle. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes, his little bean eyebrows furrowed. Oh shit, you didn’t answer, did you?

“Yes, please.” You squeak out, and feel stupid at your voice. He smiles gently before capturing your lips against his. It makes you feel better, knowing he would have stopped right away if you didn’t want this. He’s such a good guy.

His hands are on your waist, pushing you deep into the couch, his hips are between your legs, and his mouth is working against yours. It’s almost enough to drive you crazy.

You get that feeling again, of someone watching. Shit. Bro’s going to see. He’s going to see you, not only making out with another guy, but see you underneath said guy ready to be railed.

Pushing back against Karkat’s broad shoulders, you sit up, gasping for air. You’re being unreasonable, you know you are. But you can’t help it. It’s scaring you, the thought of Bro finding out. But he can’t find out, theres no way he can. He’s dead. He’s dead and he can’t hurt you. He can’t hurt Karkat. So why can’t you just let this happen?

“Dave? What’s wrong?” Karkat puts a hand on your chest, and you’re suddenly aware of the gasping in your breaths.

“H-he’s going to find out” You manage to tell him, flashes of Dirk on the ground, Bro holding the sword to his throat, screaming at him about how disgusting he is for being gay. Dirk almost dying as you tried to despratly keep anymore blood from leaving him.

“Who?” Karkat sounds worried, he probably should be, you can barely hear him.

“B-Bro.”

“Who the hell is that?” He snaps, and you wince at the anger in his voice. Karkat wouldn’t hurt you, but you’re still scared of the loudness. It’s overpowering the tick of time, and the beating of your heart. Nothing does that, why is Karkat’s voice getting through?

You shake your head, you can’t speak anymore. Tears are flowing down your face, landing on your shirt. Karkat pulls you into a tight hug, his big arms holding you tightly. You’re met with the smell of his cherry cologne, and a slight hint of tobacco from his cigarettes. It’s relaxing, he’s warm and grounding. You hate being touched during a panic attack, but Karkat is able to just wrap you up like you’re some small stuffed animal, and you feel safer than you ever have. Karkat could protect you from Bro.

Time starts slipping away from you, your head is rested against Karkat’s strong chest and you senses are filled with nothing but warmth, and the sound of his heartbeat. Eventually you’re back to reality, and find it within you to finally answer his question.

“My father, Bro… he… you probably knew him, or at least knew OF him. Puppetmaster. Top hero, last place father. Dude was the worst, Karkat. He almost killed Dirk when he found out Dirk was gay. A-and I know he’s dead. I know that. Logically anyways. But I still…I can still feel him watching me sometimes. I know it’s bullshit trauma reactions or whatever it is Rose calls it. But the feelings still there and it terrifies me.” You’re resting your cheek on his chest, and you can hear his heart beat quickening.

“He…was a hero, and he almost killed his own child?” Karkat growls, you can hear the rumble in his chest, and it almost makes you happy. That he isn’t making some excuse for him, just because he was a hero. He’s pissed off.

“Yeah…He was abusive to Dirk and I. Kept us away from Rose and Roxy too. We didn’t even meet Rose until Ult killed Bro. Roxy was already…it was too late to meet her.” You bite your lip, and Karkat’s hand moves into your hair, running through it and massaging your scalp.

“You didn’t deserve that. It’s bullshit. Did…no one do anything about it?”

“Hah, no…He used to take us to meetings with the heroes, and Dirk and I would think, now is going to be when they finally save us. They never did. I kinda lost my hope when one of them, I don’t even remember who at this point, asked how Dirk got the scar on his neck. Dirk told him Bro did it, and the guy just laughed at him! Laughed and said that Bro was a hero and wouldn’t do that. Like that’s just something Dirk would lie about. It was bullshit, everything was complete bullshit. We didn’t get out until…well, I’m sure you saw the broadcast. It’s probably an awful thing to say, but…I’m glad it happened. Thankful even…” You’re looking down now, messing with the hem of Karkat’s sweater.

“I’m thankful too. One good thing that bastard Ult ever did.” Karkat holds you tight against him, you’re relieved that he’s also thankful. That he’s able to see things from your point of view, long enough to understand why you’d be thankful to the man that’s been terriziing heroes. If only he knew who you were really thankful for. You’re thankful your brother took it in his own hands to save you, to be the hero you always begged for.

“Yeah.” You agree and look up to Karkat, his eyes are narrowed and his brows furrowed in anger. “It’s fine, Kitkat. It’s all over now.”

“But you’re still suffering because of that jackass who, to this day, gets praise, and I love you too much to just sit by and accept that.” Your heart flutters in your chest.

“What?” You blurt out.

“I love you. I know it’s only been a month or so but…I do.” Oh, shit. Okay, feelings time is continuing. Maybe, it feels too much for you right now. You can’t think enough to get your thoughts straightened out. “Shh, you don’t have to say anything right now. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now.” He’s too good to you.

– – –

Visiting Jade after the almost loss of your virginity, subsequent panic attack, and a love confession from your boyfriend was… a little weird. You’re sitting with her on the couch, vibrating with excitement because you want to tell her. You feel like some middle school girl who’s crush just checked the ‘yes’ box in a ‘do you like me, yes or no’ note.

Before you even get the chance, Jake is rushing in the door, without Dirk.

“Hey, where's Dirk at?” You turn to face him, your brows raised slightly. There’s something off about him right now.

“Oh well, I may have made quite the mess of things. I asked him out on a date and he took off like a bat out of Hades. I didn’t mean to make the poor bloke uncomfortable.” You can feel yourself starting to frown. Great, Dirk’s going to fall into another deathspiral and he just…what ran off? You don’t even know where he’s at. Dammit, why didn’t Hal tell you he ran away?!

“Dammit, I gotta go. I’ll see ya later Jade.” You give Jade a hug and kiss the top of her head before you’re out the door, flash stepping downstairs and out of the apartment building.

TG: hal wheres dirk

TT: Dirk is currently running home. Forgive me for not immedietly messaging you. I am attempting to calm him down.

TT: Needless to say I am of no help to him. He's getting rather pissy at me.

TG: fuck

TG: im omw

TG: be there soon

Shit, okay he’s going to beat you home, he’s probably fighting with Hal right now. That’s actually a good thing. Means he isn’t shutting down right now. If Hal can keep him pissed off then maybe you can get home before he starts dissociating.

Okay, almost home. You can see your apartment building getting closer, and you start flash stepping, pushing time forward through your feet, every time they touch the ground you’re skipping enough time in the future that you’re up the stairs and in your living room about a minute before you should have. Good.

Dirk’s door slams shut and you run over. “Dirk? What happened? Why are you freaking out?”

“He asked me out, Dave! Goddamn, how fucked up am I that I got him to actually like me back? I know this is what I wanted, but fuck. This is all a mistake, I never should have started being his friend. He’s going to really hate me if he finds out. I can’t do that to him. I just can’t. He’ll be hurt. I don’t want to hurt him Dave. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t just be with him, pretending like I didn’t almost kill Jade. Dammit, there’s something wrong with me.” He’s yelling and pacing behind his door, but he’s moving and that’s good enough.

“Dirk, just breathe okay? You love him right? You’re not going to hurt him, not on purpose.”

“But if he finds out about me then he will be! I’d be going into this, KNOWING. Knowing what I did to Jade, knowing what I did to HIM. I almost killed him! FUCK!” He screams and you hear something shatter in his room. That’s it. You kick the door open and run in.

Dirk is standing next to his bookshelf that is now fallen, glass is shattered on the floor, manga scattered and bent under the weight of the hardwood shelf, a few figurines snapped and broken. Dirk is breathing heavily, looking down at the mess he’s made.

“Dirk. I know it’s scary, I do…you don’t think I get scared shitless thinking about what would happen if Karkat, or John, or hell, Jade found out? It scares me every day, but what gets ME through, is that they know me better than anyone else. They know that I wouldn’t trust YOU if I thought you were a bad person. They know that I wouldn’t keep something like this from them without good reason. So just…remember that Jake knows you, knows the person you are, and if he finds out…sure he’ll be pissed in the moment, but eventually he’ll probably forgive you.” You reach out and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Right…right…” He swallows and sighs. He takes his phone out of his pocket. “Shit, Jake’s messaging and Hal’s been writing him. I’m just…going to tell him I need some time.”

– – –

Dirk definitely got time. Jake fucking blocked him, that bastard! He tells him he needs some time to think, and he just up and blocks him? Last time you were at Jade’s place Jake tried to ask you about Dirk, and you just ignored him. What were you supposed to do? Tell him he’s been working his ass off in his room, breaking the damn training bots that he made for Jake? Throwing fits and fucking CRYING in his room? You wouldn’t do that to Dirk. Jade got upset with you for ignoring Jake though, told you to just go home. Now she’s somewhat upset with you, but she messaged you and apologized and you did too. So you’re mostly good now.

Dirk is currently standing in the livingroom, a half gallon of orange juice in his hand, staring at the ground. He’s been stuck there for ten minutes. He was on his way to his room, but he’s lost in thought or just lost, you’re not really sure which one.

“Yo, Earth to Dirk.” You tap him on the shoulder and he looks at you, his movements are slow and delayed. Yep, dissociation time. “Come on, bro. Time to go to your room.” You take the orange juice from him and place it on a side table, before you take him by the shoulders and push him to his room.

“He blocked me.” He mumbles.

“Yeah…I know, dude.” What do you say? There isn’t much you can really do right now, other than help him get from point a to point b. Thankfully he’s been able to shake this enough to go to work, but when he’s home, all those repressed feelings flood again and he’s back to being a zombie.

“I love him. I love him, and he just dropped me like i was nothing. Maybe that’s how things need to be. Im an asshole who doesn’t deserve happiness. Im a psychopath.” Dirk isn’t even paying attention to you, he’s just mumbling to himself the same words you’ve heard him repeat over and over again for far too long. “The worst part of it is…thank god he blocked me, the messages i’ve been trying to send are so manipulative a-and awful. Dammit, i’m the worst. He deserves better. I told him I was going to try and kill myself.”

“You’re not…are you?” Your blood runs cold as you watch him fall limply onto his bed.

“No…no i’m not. I just thought maybe if he got that message that…he’d say something. It doesn’t matter, nothing is sending, Hal deleted the chat history incase he decides to unblock me. I don’t want him seeing the things I’ve sent him. I’m a basket case.”

“Neurotic to the bone.” You sit next to him, and he looks towards you, his eyes still dull, it makes it look like he’s staring through you.

“Do not quote Green Day at me right now. I can’t handle it.” He rolls on his side and hides in his hands.

“Sorry, man. I just uh, don’t really know what to say. I know you can get manipulative when you’re in a death spiral, it happens. But like, you fixed it, he won’t see the messages, so what’s the point in dwelling on it now?” You pat his knee and he tucks his legs against his chest. Okay, he doesn’t want to be touched right now, you can respect that.

“I still tried. I still tried to manipulate him. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“Rose says it’s borderline personality disorder. But I don’t know, she ain’t got no degree so she’s probably just talking out her ass.” You watch him peak through his fingers at you.

“Yeah, lets pretend like she didn’t diagnose me with that, then I can live in ignorance for the rest of my life. It’s easier that way.” He goes back to hiding.

“So…when do you have to see Jake again? For his check up?”

“It’s tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I don’t want to see him. But I have to, it’s my job. I’m just going to pull on that Striderian mask and get through it.” He sighs, at least he’s responding more now.

“I know, bit it’s gonna be okay. Maybe this is for the better? Then if, god forbid, you do get caught, you’re not going to lose anything with him.”

“I guess…yeah, you’re right.” He sighs and stretches out his long limbs, his feet hanging off the edge of the bed. “I’m gonna get some sleep, try to get outta this funk.” You stand out, you can respect when you’re being dismissed.

“Alright, get some sleep Bro.” You walk out of his room, leaving the door open on purpose so you can listen incase he needs you. It sucks seeing Dirk like this, over some fucking boy. You’d like to think if you and Karkat ever got into a fight like this, you would’t completely shut down. But you honestly think if Karkat ever leaves you, you might just give up on life for a while. Karkat is the best thing to happen to you in a long time. He’s so understanding, and doesn’t need you to explain yourself when you all of a sudden don’t want to be touched, or how he seems to know when you’re about to have a panic attack. He’s kind about it, doesn’t bring it up when he thinks you can’t handle talking about feelings, but is still there for when you just need someone there.

The other night you called him and told him you didn’t want to be alone, so he stayed on the phone with you while you layed on your bed and read one of his tawdry romance novels to you. It was funny hearing the way he would choke up during some outlandish romantic gesture, or the way he would awkwardly clear his throat during a bodice ripper scene. It was nice, hearing his voice to fill the silence of your room. Even though he couldn’t come over, he was still willing to spend time with you. You didn’t say much, too focused on listening to his story. It was perfect. You love him.

Oh shit, you still haven’t told him. You probably should. But how do you do that? He’s already told you how he feels, and you’ve sat back for months acting like it never happened. You’re a disaster of a boyfriend. You really got to plan this shit out, make it the best damn love confession this romantic has ever gotten in his life.

Chapter Text

Okay, you’ve got a plan; now it’s time to put this baby in motion. You’re going to woo the pants off of Karkat, and he will know just how much you love him. You spent three days making those little paper stars, writing all the reasons why you love him on the inside of them. You placed them in a cute little jar and tied a red ribbon around it. You’re going to give them to him on the date you planned. You hope he doesn’t think this is stupid. But you’ve seen how he tears up at those romance movies; surely he’s going to love this.

You take your phone out and call him, your hands shaking ever so slightly. You want to pick him up at his place, you’ve never been, mostly because he doesn’t want you to have to go through meeting Kankri. But you want to at least stop by so you can walk from his place.

“Hey Dave, what's up?”

“I uh, today’s your day off, right? Well, I uh, I was wondering if you’d want to go on a date with me? I thought I could stop by and pick you up. We aren’t doin’ anything fancy or anything, but I just wanted to spend some time with you. If that’s alright.” You hate that you’re stumbling over your words, sounding unsure. But you’re nervous.

“Oh! Yeah totally, just let me get dressed. I’ll send you the address. Kankri’s here so lets rush out before he drags you into a three hour long rant about what not to do on a date. I swear to god he’s unbelievable.” Karkat sounds happy, excited even, that you’re asking him out on a date. The two of you have really only ever done in house dates at your place, not that you’re complaining you love watching movies with him and ordering take out, but in the few months you’ve been together, you’ve never gone out. This is going to be great.

“Sweet, i’ll see ya soon then?”

“Yeah, see ya.” He hangs up and you grab your jacket, running a hand through your hair to make sure it’s sitting right. You hear your phone ding and see Karkat send the address. It isn’t too far from your apartment, so you start walking. You wish you could drive, but honestly, you don’t know how romantic it would be if you showed in up Dirk’s beat up orange pickup truck with Rainbow Dash stickers all over the back. He would probably complain about it the entire time. So walking will have to do.

Karkat’s apartment is on the bottom floor near the center of town, it’s one of those old brick buildings that have been there for forever. The stone steps leading up to his door have potted with flowers that bloom during the winter, helleborus flowers with almost black petals, little white primroses, and beautiful snow drops. You can tell they’ve been maticulously taken care of during the cold season, and their colors pop against the aged stone of the steps. The door to the apartment has old baby blue paint that is chipped around the frame, and the shadow from where the apartment number used to be mounted. You raise a hand and knock on the door.

You can hear yelling inside of the apartment, and the baby blue door opens slowly, and you’re face to face with a man who looks like if you took Karkat and stretched him until he was well over six feet tall. This must be Kankri. He has the same black hair as Karkat, only his is taken care of, and set into twists that hang over his forehead. He has rectangle wired framed glasses resting low on his broad nose, and his lips are angled up in a forced smile. He’s wearing a tight red sweater that looks like its been worn in and loved. His eyes are intense in a way that differs from Karkat’s. Instead of being lit by a fire of constant anger, Kankri’s eyes are judgemental, perceptive, and searching. You don’t like it.

“You must be David Strider.” Kankri’s voice is poised and proper, and slightly accented with what you can only assume is some sort of British accent, completely different from Karkat’s general American accent. You wonder if they grew up in different families, Karkat briefly mentioned he was homeless at one point, you didn’t feel comfortable at the time asking about it, but now you’re curious.

“Uh, It’s just Dave, actually.” You tell him and look over his shoulder and see Karkat running down the staircase, anger evident on his face.

“Kankri! I told you not to answer the goddamn door!” He screams, bending over to pull on one of his combat boots.

“Well it wouldn’t be polite to have your boyfriend stand outside in the cold, now would it? I thought it would be nice to finally meet him after you’ve painstakingly hid him away from here. Don’t you think I should get a chance to meet him? I am your guardian after all.” Kankri crosses his arms, his thick brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Kankri, I’m twenty-one years old, you can’t pull that shit with me anymore. I’m an adult, and if I don’t want you badger my boyfriend, you should respect that.” Karkat huffs as he pulls on his other shoe.

“I just want to make sure he is a good fit for you. Last time you wouldn’t let me meet one of your partners you were holed up in your room crying for weeks after Terezi broke up with you. I do not wish to see that happen again. So I would like to talk to…Dave…for a while before the two of you leave.” Kankri turns to you, “Why don’t you come in?”

Okay, so this is going to be a little awkward then, but you should still be able to make this work. Karkat looks a little pissed off though, maybe you should insist on not doing this? You don’t really know what the right thing to do here is.

“Kankri, leave him be. I’ll introduce the two of you later, but we’ve got a date to go on.” Karkat shoves past Kankri and walks out onto the steps with you, taking your hand tightly.

“Nice ta meet ya Kankri” You nod to him and close the door in his face, eliciting a laugh from Karkat.

“God, I really don’t want him interrogating you, and for the record, that shit with Terezi happened when I was in high school, it wasn’t like a recent thing. He just LOVES bringing up how pathetic I am.” Karkat walks you down the steps.

“Nah man, it ain’t pathetic. What’s pathetic is having to baby sit your older brother to make sure he doesn’t manage to accidentally drown himself in the shower because his boytoy blocked him.” You chuckle and watch as Karkat laughs again. Damn, you really want to sample that sometime, make your own little happy mix tape of Karkat’s laugh. You’d also like to get that growl on tape somehow, but you know it wouldn’t be like having your ear against his chest, feeling the vibrations start before the sound even becomes audible.

“Dirk seriously did that?” Karkat asks while you lead him down the street.

“Yeah, I had to sit on the toilet and listen to his shower everytime he went in there. I spaced out for a while and when I came to, he was standing with the water hitting his face, gasping for air. I don’t know how he did that, but he almost drowned. He’s smart as hell, but the second he starts feeling a negative emotion he gets stupid.”

“I can absolutely see that. He’s got an ego the size of a fucking skyscraper, I bet that shit crumbles way too fast.” Karkat leans into you, his nose is turning a little pink from the cold air, and it’s so cute. You can’t help yourself when you lean down and kiss the top of his nose. He looks up at you, those big brown eyes of his staring into your own red ones. He’s amazing. So perfect. Today is going to be perfect.

“What the hell was that for?” He shoves his body into you, causing you to lose balance for a second, but you stay up right.

“Dunno, just wanted to.” You shrug and walk him into a cafe. “Coffee sound good? I know you like coffee.”

“I love coffee. My hands are freezing and I want something warmer than your poor body heat to warm them up.” He walks up to the counter with you, and you order him his usual americano, and you order a matcha frappe.

“What the hell, it’s below freezing outside, why the hell are you getting an iced drink?” He snorts out a laugh.

“For the ironies man, plus it’s freaking delicious. Matcha is a godsend.”

“It tastes like fucking grass. How is it any good?” The two of you stand by the counter and wait for your drinks.

“It’s an acquired taste, besides, the frappe’s are sweet, I got a pretty bad sweet tooth. I can’t handle black coffee like you can.”

He looks up at you and sticks his tongue out. “It’s because you don’t have taste, Strider.”

“Oh, back on last names are we, Vantas? Come on, you’ve had your tongue down my throat, don’t I deserve to at least be on a first name basis with you at this point?” You watch as his face goes red and he shoves your cheek.

“Don’t be crass, dumbass.” He grabs his coffee and you take yours off of the counter.

“Oh, I can be way worse than that.” You watch his face turn redder, hiding behind his disposable coffee cup.

“Don’t you dare.” He warns you.

“I won’t, I won’t, don’t worry about that. Now, come on. We got somewhere to be.” You take his free hand in yours and walk him out of the coffee shop. This is where things start to get really good. Outside of the shop is a horse and buggy, one of those real nice ones that look like they were pulled straight out of a storybook.

“Holy hell.” Karkat looks up at the carriage and then back to you. “Is this…for us?”

“You know it, babe. Only the best for you.” You step up into the carriage and pull him up with you. The two of you sit down and the driver slaps the reigns and the horses start trotting along.

Karkat is nestled against you, hugging your arm while he sips his coffee, looking out at the streets as you pass. You start noticing snowflakes starting to fall, landing on his dark hair and slowly melting.

“Dave, this is…amazing.” He looks up at you, his long eyelashes fluttering slightly when flakes land on them.

“I uh, I’m glad you like it. I thought it would be something you’d like. Um, there's somethin’ i’ve been meaning to tell you, though.” You take his hand tightly in yours. “You said something to me a while back, and I realized I hadn’t said anything in return yet. I wanted to make it perfect when I did because you deserve perfect. You deserve something big and romantic, and I…I” You let go of his hand and reach into your coat pocket, taking out the little jar of paper stars.

“Dave…” He’s smiling gently, his cheeks tinted red, either from the cold or just blushing.

“Wait, I uh, I made these for you, with all the reason why I…I uh.” You bite your lip, and this shouldn’t be that hard; just say it. “Reasons why I love you.”

He gasps slightly and takes the little jar, looking inside. “I love you too.” His smile could light up an entire city; it’s so bright and perfect, and your heart flutters happily. You can see tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, and he shakes the bottle, watching the stars move around.

“Thank god you still do.” You cup his cheek and pull him into a gentle, chaste kiss. His lips are slightly cold against yours, but you don’t care. It’s perfect.

His hand finds it’s way into your hair, his nails running over your scalp in the best way imaginable. Your body melts against his, your mouths moving together in perfect sync. You love this man. This man loves you. You are the luckiest man in the world.

He pulls back, and you chase his lips with yours, but his hand works into your hair, holding on just enough to keep you in place.

“Chill out, Dave. Let's enjoy this, alright, love?” He rests his head on your chest, and you slip an arm around him. “We’ll have plenty of time to make out when we aren’t in public.”

“Right, yeah, totally.” Your face heats up a little and you rest your forehead on top of his head. Just holding him, while flurries fall silently around you.

– – –

The carriage ride ends in front of your apartment, and the two of you step off, taking your empty coffee cups with you.

“How presumptuous of you, Strider.” Karkat looks up to you, smirking slightly, showing off his fang-like teeth.

“Hey, not what I had on the table. Get your mind outta the gutter, man. But hey, if you’re up for it, so am I.” You lead him up the stairs to your apartment, pushing the door open. Your siblings are out again, Dirk’s been getting ready for his date with Jake, and Rose is out at a bar tonight, Hal said he wanted some alone time so he’d leave you and Karkat alone. So it’s just the two of you here.

As soon as your front door closes, Karkat places his empty coffee cup on a side table and walks over to you, grabbing the front of your jacket and pulling you down into a kiss. This kiss is more passionate, he’s biting against your lip, his tongue is twirling against yours, and his hands are running up and down your sides. Your body feels like it’s on fire. You bite back into the kiss, eliciting that delicious growl out of him, you can feel it against your chest and in your mouth. You want to hear more of it.

You start walking backward, and he follows you effortlessly. Eventually, you lead him to your room, falling back onto your bed. Your boyfriend falls on top of you, his knees on either side of your waist, his hands fisted into your jacket, gripping it tightly.

He pulls away, panting softly, looking into your eyes, his own half-lidded, his eyes filled with lust. “You sure this is okay?” God, he’s perfect.

“Yes, positive. You’ve got my full, whole-hearted, enthusiastic consent here, Vantas. Now stop talking and get back to kissing me.” You take this opportunity to rid yourself of your jacket and shirt, watching as his eyes trail over you. His hands run down your chest, his long nails brushing slightly over your skin, making you shiver. He’s trailing your scars with his index finger. You can tell he’s slightly worried. “Okay big man, get to kissing me before I start freaking out about the attention you’re giving my scars.”

He hums in consideration before leaning back in to kiss you, his strong hands placed firmly on your waist, digging into you just a little bit to elicit a slight moan from you. He slips his tongue in your mouth and you kiss back eagerly.

Your hand finds a place on his bicep, feeling the hard muscle tense under your hand. He’s so strong, and his bicep is so big you can’t even wrap your hand around it. He makes you feel small in the most comforting way possible. You feel safe with him like he could protect you from anything.

– – –

Karkat pulls you close to him, his shorter body spooning you, his strong arms around your chest holding you in place. The warmth of his naked body against yours sends a wave of comfort through you. Your muscles are made of jelly right now, every bit of tension that you had is gone now, and you’re now a puddle of post-coital contentment. Karkat buries his face against the back of your neck and gives you soft kisses.

“How’re you doing?” He asks between the gentle kisses.

“Really good, like, amazing.” You can feel him smile against you. “What about you? I don’t really know if I did too well.”

“Dave, you were amazing. Best i’ve ever had.” His voice is deepening, and you bet he’s starting to fall asleep.

“Wow, stroking my ego now are we?” He chuckles against you.

“I’m only being honest.” He forces himself to sit up, propping himself up on his hand, looking down to you. “Let me clean you up.” He pulls himself out from under the covers.

“Nah, lets deal with that in the morning.” You grab his arm and force him back down with you.

“Hmm, you’re going to regret that, but I’m exhausted and feel like falling asleep.” He easily cuddles back into you, spooning you again. You fall asleep in the warm embrace of your lover.

Chapter Text

You sit up in bed, wincing at the pain in your lower back and how your leg muscles cramp slightly. Why did no one tell you that sex hurt so bad the next day? Maybe it was because it was your first time, and you were using muscles you never used before, but still. It hurts like hell. Not that you would take last night back for anything. Karkat was more than good. You’ve never felt like that before. He was tentative and took things slow, so you could ease into everything. He was perfect. You were also railed by your short king of a boyfriend and didn’t have a panic attack during or after it, so all around, last night was a big win.

You do wish you let Karkat clean you up because now you’re sticky in places that definitely do NOT need to be sticky.

Looking down, Karkat’s head has fallen on your lap, his hair sprayed over you in thick messy curls. You run a hand through his hair, surprised that it doesn’t get caught. His hair is so soft, it almost feels like silk. He wraps his arms around your waist, his brows furrowing slightly and his mouth setting into his usual frown. You can see his teeth biting at his lips ever so slightly, causing his big lips to get a little red.

“Are you getting up already?” Karkat’s morning voice sounds more gravely and deeper than usual, it sends your heart racing. It’s absolutely beautiful and you could listen to his morning voice for the rest of your life. Maybe it’s weird that you don’t cringe at yourself for thinking that. A few months ago if you had that thought you would be running for the hills. But there is just something special about Karkat that makes you want to actually feel things, to want to just exist with him, and to think about the future you two have together. Maybe that’s sappy, but right now, you wouldn’t mind waking up to him for the rest of your life.

“Uh, yeah I gotta shower. I’m all sticky.” You tell him and he looks up to you through his thick eyelashes.

“I tried to clean you up. But I get that. I might take one after you.” He sits up, resting his head on your shoulder and nuzzling into you. You feel his lips press against a sore spot on your shoulder. Looking down, you can see a bite mark that he left last night, and your heart flutters. Part of you wishes that it would stay, so you wouldn’t forget about last night.

“You could join me, you know.” You press a kiss on top of his head. He hums softly in response.

“I know you’ve never dated anyone before, but together showers aren’t as sexy as they seem. It’s all slippery and wet and kinda awkward. I’m not a big fan of them. But if you really want me to, I wouldn’t mind. Just don’t expect a third round.” Your face heats up at that. You still can’t believe that you went two rounds with him last night, it’s no wonder you’re so sore right now.

“It doesn’t have to be a sexy shower, it can just be you helping me work out the tension in my back and we both get clean in the process.”

He smiles against your skin. “Alright. I can do that.” He lets you go and the two of you stand up. You lead him to the bathroom and start the shower. The two of you step into the shower, your back is to the water and you pull Karkat close to you, trying to not feel awkward about the two of you being fully naked so close to each other. He rests his head on your chest and you turn a little so that the two of you are under the warm water. His hands wrap around you, his short fingers rubbing at your lower back, exactly where your muscles are tense. He works the knot loose and you melt into it. You can feel the pain leaving you, making your legs weak. It feels so nice, you want him to never stop massaging you like that.

He places a gentle kiss to your collar bone, and you rest your head on his shoulder, letting him continue to work out the pain in your back. You sigh heavily, letting your eyes flutter shut. His hands work at your muscles and you can feel his smile on your skin again. You’re not used to being this intimate with someone, it feels different than last night, you’re vulnerable in a way that you’re not used to. Normally you’d feel nervous about that, but there is something about Karkat that makes you feel safe. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s so gentle with you, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s so easy to read. That you can tell how much you mean to him. He doesn’t think you’re fragile, but he wants you to open with your feelings because he knows that you’ve gone through a lot. He’s willing to hold you when you cry and panic, he’s willing to do what he can to take your pain away, both mentally and physically. He’s the most caring person you’ve ever met.

Karkat pulls away from you and grabs your apple scented shampoo. It makes your heart flutter knowing that he looked at the three bottles, one apple, one tea tree and eucalyptus, and one orange, and knew which one was yours. He puts a little in his hand and starts scrubbing your hair for you. You want to melt right there, just fall into a puddle at the bottom of the bathtub and live there for the rest of your life. His sharp nails feel amazing against your scalp. Leaning into his hands, you close your eyes and let him wash the sweat and grime out of your hair.

After he rinses the shampoo out of your hair, he gently places some conditioner in it, and then it’s your turn to wash his hair. You scrub his scalp gently, worried about tangling his perpetually messy curls. You opt to wash him with your shampoo, some weird possessive part of you really liking the idea of him smelling like you.

You’re about to rinse out the shampoo when you hear Hal’s speaker turn on. It makes a little ripple sound and a fake automated message plays.

“Dirk has sent a message. Do you wish for me to read it?” You know this isn’t Hal’s voice. He doesn’t sound so fake.

You sigh. “Yes.” You call out, trying to keep up the act of talking to something like an Alexa.

“Dirk’s message reads. ‘Dave, I’ll be home late. But we need to talk. There’s some family shit we need to take care of today, send your boyfriend home.’ End of message.”

You groan and start rinsing out Karkat’s hair. “Sorry man, guess I’ve got plans today.”

“It’s fine, I got to be at HQ soon anyways. Just let me know if everything's okay.” Karkat starts washing his own body, the intimate mood being totally broken. You want to kill Hal. You were having so much fun.

After the both of you finish washing up, you step out and toss a towel at Karkat’s head. It covers his face entirely and he growls at you, that rumbling emitting from his chest that you love so much.

“Asshole.” He mumbles and you watch him struggle to get out from under the towel that has somehow wrapped entirely around his head. He finally frees himself from the towel and starts drying off. Once the two of you are done, you take Karkat back to your room and get dressed. You’re a little worried about what Hal was trying to tell you. You bet it has something to do with those drug dealers you’ve been trying to scare off, and he didn’t want to say anything knowing that Karkat is here.

“Hey, I had a lot of fun yesterday.” Karkat goes over and wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your back. You can’t help but smile softly, your heart racing slightly.

“I did too, I mean how could I not? You wrecked my shit.” You can feel his brows furrow against you.

“I meant the date, dickweed. Not everything is about sex.”

“Yeah, I know I just like messin’ with ya.” You turn around and drape your arms over his shoulders, looking down at him. “You go have fun at work today, Mr.Hero. Go save some cats from trees or whatever.”

This earns you a punch to the arm, it’s gentle but you still make a show of grabbing where he punched you and whining like a little baby.

“Shut the fuck up. Love you.” He kisses you quickly, and you have to stop yourself from going weak in the knees.

"Love you too." Watching him leave is hard, but you know he needs to get to work. You can't just keep him here with you, that'd be wrong, as much as you want to.

Okay, you've been socializing with Dirk and Hal too much apparently, that is way more of a thought of theirs than it is yours. You're not obsessive by any means, not like they are, but you just miss him alright? Is that really so bad?

Taking a breath, you walk over to the couch and lay down, letting the softness of the old cushions envelop you.

"Tell Dirk that Karkat left. What'd he want anyway?" You speak to the void.

"Rose got some intel, some record shop has been scoped out by some shady characters recently. He wants the two of you to keep an eye on it tonight." Hal informs you, his voice back to normal. "There's also a small corner store near it that is a possible hit."

"Perfect."
- - - - - -

Dirk is on the other side of town, keeping an eye on another shop that might be getting robbed tonight. Standing around and waiting is boring as all hell, and you don’t know what to do. You wish you could text Karkat, but he already said he was going to be busy tonight. So you’re stuck here, scoping out a record store all by yourself.

“Hey, you’re Clockwork, right? Man, it sucks to be you right now.” Skater Gurl stands at the end of the alley, punching her fist into the brick wall and removing one of the bricks. You’re instantly in a fighting stance, your wakizashi in hand, ready for whatever she’s about to do. Realistically, you know you’re no match for her strength, but maybe you’ll be fast enough.

She rushes you, and you jump, making her skid to a stop in the place you previously occupied. The second your sneakers touch the ground, you run.

Bang. Bang.

You fall on your face, the screen cracked and sizzling angrily. Fuck. Fuck! Your legs hurt!

“9000, get Ult. Now. They got me. It’s Skater Gurl and Gunman” You try to keep your voice down, but you’re in so much pain, it’s hard.

“Stay calm Dave. Dirk is on his way.” Hal’s voice tries to comfort you.

“Wrong, asshole” His voice makes you freeze. No, this can’t be happening! Karkat can’t do this to you.

Karkat reaches out to you, blood strings out from his wrist, twisting and turning in the air until it reaches you. The blood ribbons dart into your skin and you scream out in pain, your broken voice modulator cracking like a bad auto tune.

They’re talking, but you can’t register anything. You’re too busy struggling against the restraints, they hurt so bad. You didn’t expect the blood to be sharp, to feel like barbed wire through your skin.

“Looks like we don’t have to wait too long, assholes. Cover me.” Karkat’s voice knocks you out of your panic and you see Dirk. Please let it be a splinter!

“Make this easy Ult. Turn yourself in.” Jake steps in front of Karkat, his guns raised. They start fighting and you look away. You can’t watch this. None of this is going to end well.

You can’t bring yourself to look at Karkat, you’re pretty sure if your visor was working you’d have a sad little ;A; crying face right now. It’s all you want to do. Scream and cry and beg them not to hurt Dirk.

Jake eventually calls for help for Skater Gurl, John and Gemini joining the frey.

Oh god. John.

You’re going to lose everything today, aren’t you? Your friends, your boyfriend and…god you hope they don’t hurt Dirk.

Karkat’s grip on you tightens and you try to push against the restraints. Dirk falls and Jake makes his way over. You can’t see what’s happening, you can barely hear anything as time pulses in your ears. Fuck!

20:45:50

20:45:51

20:54:52

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

You can’t stop it. You can’t rewind! Whatever Karkat is doing to you is holding onto not only your skin, but your entire being and is stopping you from using your powers!

“Is it really Dirk?” He asks and looks over, his eyes going wide behind his cloth mask. No! No! “Is Dave Clockwork?” He’s met with nothing. “Dammit. DAMMIT!”

John screams, tears in his big blue eyes.

Your best friend stomps over to you, over his shoulder you see Jake hauling Dirk over to a cop car.

“He’s wrong. There’s no way…” John grabs your broken screen and rips it off your face. You try not to look at John and Karkat, but it’s hard when they’re standing so close.

John has tears streaming down his cheeks, thick and filled with betrayal.

Karkat.

Karkat looks angry.

“You knew how scared we all were of him, and this ENTIRE time you knew who he was!” Karkat jerks his blood out of you, some of it splashing on the ground between you two. It hurts and the suddenness of it forces you to fall, busting your knees on the ground.

"He…he's the one who hurt Jade." John's voice is barely above a whisper. You keep your eyes on the ground, you can't watch him as that realization hits him.

Your chest hurts, you're pretty sure your red suit is soaking up huge quantities of blood right now. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Karkat's fist meets your face, your nose breaking with a loud crack. It forces you to stumble back and hit the brick wall behind you. Your vision blurs slightly and you're looking up at Karkat. He's holding his fist to his chest, his knuckles splattered in, what you assume, is your own blood. A river of it is pouring out of your nose now. He's watching you with contempt, jaw set in anger, and he's breathing heavily through his mask.

"You son of a bitch!" Karkat starts to come at you again, you flinch, trying to block fast enough, covering yourself with your arms. Thankfully he doesn't get to you in time. His brother is standing behind him, holding him back.

"That's enough, Geneticist. You can't do this." Kankri's words are stern, and he's looking at you like you're nothing more than dirt on the bottom of his boot. You don't feel much better either. Seeing John behind them, crying with hurt and anger, the tears prickling at the corners of Karkat's beautiful brown eyes…it hurts too much.

You don't know when, but at some point you blacked out, and you're waking up in a cold cell, surrounded by thick glass. There doesn't seem to be anyone on either side of you, but as you sit up you're face to face with Karkat.

His brown eyes bore into your soul, anger radiating out of them. They once held nothing but love for you, now you wish he would just look away. Curling in on yourself, you place your hands in your hair, feeling a strange metal band around your head. It's probably one of the ones that stops your powers from working. Which sucks. It's too tight and it pulls at your hair.

"They stopped you from bleeding." Karkat's voice is cold, slightly muffled by the glass.

"Karkat…" You can't look at him, you don't want to see that look anymore.

"DON'T" His voice is loud enough that you can feel the glass shaking. He sucks in a breath between his clenched teeth. "Don't talk. I don't want to hear your excuses." He walks closer to your cell. Is it really a cell? More like a glass room if anything. Semantics aren't really important now, but you're trying to distract yourself. "Do you know why I became a hero?"

His question catches you off guard. You think you know the answer, but you're sure he's getting at something deeper than wanting to help people.

"I told you I was homeless when I was growing up. Kankri is only a few years older than me, and he tried his best to take care of me. But it was hard when he barely old enough to work, and I was a little shit still in elementary school. We flitted between homeless shelters, until someone finally noticed we were unaccompanied minors. The hero who worked at the shelter in their free time, not even as their hero persona, just as themself. It was Sollux's dad, The Psiionic was his hero name…I don't know if you knew of him or not. He was pretty big, had similar powers to Sollux and Mituna. He was a kind man. I wanted to be like him. He took us in, raised Kankri and I and asked for nothing in return. When he found out we were homeless due to a villain attack, he did everything he could to put those villains behind bars. HE was a good hero. Not all of us are like your father. I wish you would have realized that." He doesn't look at you as he speaks, tears slipping down his cheeks as he glares down at his feet.

"I didn't know…Karkat I never thought you were like the ones I hated…I never…" You stop yourself when he finally looks at you, hatred is all you can see in his eyes.

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I just…I wanted you to hear that." With that, he leaves, his heavy boots stomping off and you're left looking at your reflection in the glass.

Chapter Text

Waking up in your empty bed, alone, is painful. The sheets still have a hint of Dirk’s orange scented shampoo on them. You’re hugging them to your face, inhaling the scent, scared of the day when the smell goes away. It’ll be gone, just like Dirk. You loved him. Part of you still loves him. You can’t stop thinking about him alone in that glass cell. The man who was so kind to you, that beared his heart to you, who cried into your chest after telling you about his father. He’s just a broken kid, deep down, just like you are. You could’ve gone down the same path he did, blame the heroes you worshipped so much for not taking you and Jade off that damned island, leaving you alone to fend for yourselves. For not helping you when you were a child raising a baby. You could have ended up just as jaded as he is.

None of that matters anymore. You arrested him. He’s gone and out of your life forever. He was a mistake, and that's all he can be. You can’t pretend that he isn’t the man who caused you and your family so much pain, who hurt your friends and co-workers, who had them fearing for their lives every time they went out. But you also can’t seem to erase the good memories either. He was the man who nursed you back to health, the man who cried in your arms, the man who spilled wine all over your brand new suit jacket because he was so nervous. It makes you sick, knowing they’re the same person.

You don’t want to leave your bed, but you have a debrief to go to. You’ll probably also be questioned. You were a connection to him. You’ve let things slip. You’ll be lucky if they let you keep your job after this. The hero Gunman will fall to the wayside, forgotten to history, and you’ll be left an empty shell of a man. Alone, rotting in this flat.

You don’t bother getting dressed today, it's hard enough peeling yourself away from the covers of your bed. So you leave, wearing the same civilian clothes you changed into after leaving the prison, and head to work.

You don’t have the energy to bother worrying about the elevator today, you get in like it’s nothing, trying to not think about the breakdown you had in the one at the prison. You try not to think about how Dirk continued to try and comfort you, even though he was sitting there with his broken arm cuffed behind his back.

You step out of the elevator and into the meeting room, almost everyone’s eyes are on you. All but Karkat’s. He’s sitting in the back, his face shoved against Sollux’s arm. The taller man holds his best friend close, his hand tangled in the mess of curls.

“Well, everyone seems to be wanting to ask me something. Go on then. Let's get this over with.” You try to sound confident, but your voice is weak and shaking.

“Did you know?” Latula is the first to speak up.

“Of course I didn’t bloody know! Do you really think I wouldn’t have turned him in the second I found out?!” You’re angry, and everyone is looking at you like they don’t believe you.

“Jake, I asked you in the hospital if you were dating Ult. You told me then that you were not. I’m not questioning that. But what I want to know now is if you told Dirk anything that might have compromised anyone.” Kankri stands up as he speaks, his head raised so he’s looking down his nose at you. Bastard.

“No. If he learned anything, he learned it from working here. He knew our identities, he knew our powers, our weak points. He learned it here. Yes I talked about work with him, but nothing I wasn’t supposed to. I didn’t even tell him about the plan yesterday. He was on call, so he knew something was going down. But that was it.” You sit down in an empty chair, looking away. You can’t stand the eyes on you.

“Clockwork was Dave. You were right.” Karkat speaks softly, you look to him and see his red rimmed, swollen eyes. He’s still crying. The bags under his eyes are heavy and dark, eyeliner smeared and dripping down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Karkat. I know how you’re feeling right now.” You mumble.

“I know you do. But they don’t. Instead, they fucking drag us in here, and expect us to recount how awful yesterday was. They want some fucking information on them, fine. What about this, Kankri. Maybe the reason they became villains was because YOUR fucking generation of heroes stood by and watched them get abused.”

Kankri sputters. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Karkat’s right. Dirk told me about Puppetmaster. About how he was training Dirk and Dave, his CHILDREN, to be future heroes. How he started training them with swords as soon as they could walk. How a grown man would beat them down, cut them up, and toss them down the stairs. He told me about how he would parade them around like they were the next top heroes, and the generation of heroes before us looked these kids in the eyes, looked at their scars, their fear, and said absolutely nothing. DID nothing. It’s no wonder they hate us. I’ve seen the scars on Dirk, I’ve seen the slit on his throat that he covers up with make up, because our beloved hero held him down at twelve years old and sliced him with a sword, because Dirk had the audacity to have feelings for another boy. I cannot fathom the amount of hatred that he and Dave have for heroes. But you know what. I do not blame them for that. Don’t get me wrong, I hate him. I hate Dirk more than I have ever hated anyone because of what he did to Jade. But at the end of the day, they were scared kids, fixing a problem that no one else had the balls to fix.”

“So you’re sympathising with them now?” Kankri crosses his arms and narrows his eyes. This isn’t going to end well for you, but you don’t care at this point.

“Shouldn’t we understand the people we put away? Isn’t it better to know there is a reason for all this madness, fix the issues, and move on and hope for better in the future?” You shoot back at him.

“Dammit Kankri, Jake’s right. We SHOULD be sympathising with them, we should be getting to the bottom of whatever issue is wrong with society right now that is causing these villains. We could prevent it at the root of the problem, instead of fighting it when it gets too bad. I’m not saying there aren’t always going to be shitty people out there, but if we can prevent something like this happening again, if we can prevent another Ult, then shouldn’t we fucking try?! Besides, Dave never hurt anyone. His only crime was being in connection to Ult. He shouldn’t be locked up in high security, he should at the least be on house arrest. It got taken way too far.” Karkat is standing up, hands pressed against the desk in front of him, looking like he wants to tear into his brother.

“Enough!” Kankri yells, raising his voice for the first time since you’ve met him. “I understand the two of you are upset. It’s heartbreaking when someone you care for turns on you and betrays you like this. I fully understand. But what you two are doing could start a revolt. You are both to leave this facility. I will talk to the board, but for now you are both on sabbatical, and should not resume hero duties, until further notice.” He turns around, not even bothering to listen to your response.

Karkat is the first to leave, stomping out of the meeting room and slamming the door so hard that the frame shakes. You follow quickly after him.

“I’m going to see Dave. I need more answers. I still can’t believe he did this. You know, we first met because he was being threatened at gunpoint in some shitty corner store. He looked like he was about to shit himself with fear. I can’t believe he’s Clockwork. It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real.” Karkat is standing in the elevator with you, pacing back and forth.

“I understand…it doesn’t make sense. I knew Dirk had issues with heroes. But I never thought he would take it to this extreme. He told me once, that whoever would hurt Jade, must have something seriously wrong with them…he was talking about himself. He was probably right. There has to be something wrong with him, to do this, to…to come back into my home, to be around my sister, and act like everything is fine. Even though he’s the one who hurt her. KNOWING how much I hated Ult. I feel like an idiot.”

“Come with me to high security…maybe he’ll talk to you. You can get your answers too.” Karkat steps out, and you follow him.

– – –

Walking into the high security prison is not much different from last time, the security officers know your civilian personas, as they are workers from the league. They do their security checks, patting you down and the two of you walk through the metal detectors. It's rather tedious, but you understand why it needs to happen.

The two of you are led to a, currently, empty room with nothing but a table and a few chairs in the middle. It's bleak, not that you would have expected much else from the prison. You're glad to see that it's clean at least. You would have expected a prison to be quite dirty.

Sitting in the chairs is uncomfortable, not only because they're hard and cold on your bottom, but because the waiting for your ex-partners is unbearable. Neither you or Karkat know what to say to each other, especially with a guard in the room

Karkat is fidgeting with his hands, chewing at the sides of his nails, his brows furrowed in his perpetual look of anger. He's young, he shouldn't be going through this heart break yet. He shouldn't have to feel the black hole that is seeping in through your heart and eating away at all your emotions. He shouldn't have to lay in bed wishing that Dave was there beside him. It isn't fair to him. Karkat is a good kid, he's already gone through so much.

The lights in the room cut, and in the distance you hear a siren blaring.

"What's going on?" Karkat stands up, looking around to face the security officer.

"Hold on." The officer holds his walkie talkie to his ear, muffled voices sounding out of the speaker. "A couple prisoners are trying to escape."

"Let's go. Gunman, come with me." Karkat motions for you to follow him. He's already out the door before you even have a chance to react. Quickly, you get to your feet and you're following him down the hallway. Red alarm lights flash along with the sirens being the only thing lighting your way as the two of you run.

The sounds of fighting are coming from a few meters away, and Karkat takes a sharp right turn down the hallway towards it. You're on his heels, and you almost slam into his back as he comes to a stop. In front of the two of you is a locked door. Needless to say neither of you have your security passes on you today, but it seems Karkat has another plan.

Reaching his hand out, a tendril of blood reaches into the keyhole and jiggle around until it clicks open. Wonderful!

Karkat is on the run again, as are you. You try to avoid the splatter of blood as he releases his power, but unfortunately you do get some on your legs. Gross.

Through the flashing lights, you're able to see two guards engaged in a fight with a prisoner, it's hard to get a good look at him from where you currently are.

"You ready?" Karkat speaks quietly, only you can hear his voice and he moves against the wall, you get on the other side of the hallway, pressing your back against it. If the two of you can trap the prisoner in, and get the jump on him from either side, you should be able to contain him long enough for the guards to get him back in his cell.

Moving quietly, you inch closer and closer to the fight, watching as the guards take and throw punch after punch. You're able to now see the metal device covering the man's mouth, and it hits you. Cronus Ampora. It's a voice modulator, if you remember correctly it adjusts his voice, if not out right blocks it out, so his siren song power cannot be used.

Meeting Karkat's eyes across the hall, you know it's time. The two of you leap from your spots as the guards move out of the way, and you grab one of Cronus' arms, while Karkat grabs the other. Cronus doesn't stop fighting, his legs are kicking and he's trying to head butt you. Thankfully you're about two heads taller than he is so he only hits the side of your arm a few times. Karkat isn't as lucky, as the two are roughly the same height, Cronus being a tad bit taller.

"Get offa me!" Cronus screams, the modulator making his voice much deeper than you remember, it sounds strange coming from him.

"Absolutely not, you rapscalion! You are going back where you belong!" The bruised and bloodied officers make their way over, placing cuffs onto Cronus' wrists, forcing his arms behind his back.

"Of fucking 'course it's you! Kankri's little brother, right? Tell that fucking slut I'm going to kill him for putting me in here!"

"Is he the only one?" Karkat questions the officers, ignoring Dualscar's angry threats. You jerk Cronus away from Karkat, the last thing the kid needs is to confront this asshole anymore than already necissary.

"Other officers have been able to locate Lord English and a few others. Though the Strider brothers and Kurloz Makara are still missing." Fantastic! Of course they're at the center of this! Why wouldn't they be?!

"Fuck!" Karkat kicks the wall. "OF ALL THE BULGE SUCKING GOOD FOR NOTHING MOTHERFUCKERS IT HAD TO BE THEM RIGHT?!"

"Geneticist, let's just go, we need to find them and…Kurloz, we don't know what he could do if he got out. His fear control or chucklevoodoos or whatever his cult likes to call it is terrifying. We need to get them detained."

– – – –

It doesn't take long before Jake's words finally sink in and the two of you are running. He looks like some sort of action hero running in front of you while you follow him. He's checking around corners, his back pressed against the wall before continuing to run. It's so stupid looking, but you know it's necessary.

The two of you turn a corner and you skid to a stop, your boots screeching on the tiles. Red eyes stare back at you from the end of the corridor, and you almost fall over as Jake is suddenly behind you, bumping into you. Dave watches you, he must have reversed time for Jake, which means he managed to get out of whatever was suppressing his power. Wonderful. FANTASTIC EVEN!

"Karkat…" Dave takes a step towards you, it's so hard to look at him right now.

Reaching out, you try to grab a hold of him with your blood, ribbons shooting from your fingertips. Dave dashes out of the way, and your blood drops, knowing you'll miss him. You can't redirect it very well, so it's easier just to cut your losses. He hugs the wall, red lights flashing and reflecting in his eyes, making them glow.

"Please, just hear me out! I want to talk!" Your ex takes another step towards you and you shoot him what you hope is a deadly glare. “Karkat please, I’m serious. You don’t understand! We weren’t-“

Fear creeps inside of your bones, clawing away at your insides. You can't move, the man in front of you whom you used to care for is frozen as well, his red eyes wide in the intermittent darkness.

"Kurloz." Jake's voice is barely above a whisper, small and shaking.

The lights in the corridor switch on, bright and blinding, behind Dave stands a man. He's unnaturally tall, long limbs resting over the blonde's shoulders, keeping him in place. Kurloz's long hair falls to the side as he drapes himself over Dave's small frame. His lips curl into a stitched smile before reaching a hand up to his neck.

You want to scream at him to stop, but your words catch in your throat, blocked by a thick lump. Long, slender fingers clasp Dave's neck tightly, thick, overgrown fingernails digging into his skin. Blood trickling down before a sickening RIP echoes in your ears. Dave's body falls to the floor, a pool of blood forming under him.

You can't move, it's as if your feet have been cemented into the linoleum tiles. Tears burn at your eyes and you try to blink them away, this can't be happening.

The light in the hallway is gone now, the alarm's red light flashing off and on as it was before. In front of you, where Dave's body once was, as well as Kurloz, is entirely empty now, save for the strip of blood that you left earlier.

"What was that? Where did Dave go?" Your breathing is uneven, your eyes darting up and down the halls. Something isn't right. None of this is right. Why isn't Dave here anymore? Why is Jake just standing around looking at you like you've lost your mind?!

"Karkat…Dave ran off after you tried to grab him." He places a large hand on your shoulder, squeezing it tightly. His grip is bruising, but it's enough to bring you back to reality. "Kurloz was close, I…I could feel him. I'm assuming he messed with your head a bit." Jake's easy going smile is shaking, and you can see tear stains on the corners of his eyes. The fear must have gotten to him somehow too.

"Right…right. So…none of that was real then? Dave's okay? He didn't…Kurloz didn't…" Your already raspy voice cracks and you shake your head. "We need to find them." Pulling from Jake's grasp, you being walking down the hallway, your knees shaking. It's hard to keep at the pace you were going before when the image of Dave's death is seared into your mind.

Chapter Text

Sitting in your cell is dreadful, you hate it. The other prisoners aren't talkative, well, one of them is, but you have nothing to say to Cronus' constant flirtations. It's all empty words anyhow, he's lonely. Sure, it's understandable, he probably hasn't even felt another person for…however long he's been in here. They don't exactly let you out to play with the others. Especially not in this block. You're allowed to talk to each other, but it seems as though everyone else has lost things to talk about. Not that it matters. Kurloz is entirely mute, though it seems to be by choice because every once in a while the shocks from his ceiling force a muffled scream from him.

It's hard to tell if there is any rhyme or reason to the electrocution, or if they're on a timer, or if there's someone sitting there behind a camera with a button just shocking him every once in a while. It's torture. They're torturing the man because they don't understand his power. You fear the same is going to happen to you, soon enough.

Heavy footsteps break the intermittent silence and you crane your neck to see through layers and layers of thick glass, watching one of the officers make their way down the corridor to your cell. He's a buff looking man, much bigger than you are, he doesn't look happy to be here either. If the scowl on his face is anything to go by.

The man stops in front of your cell, slowly the glass pannel slides into the floor with a hiss.

"Come on. It's time to talk." He invades your space, grabbing you by your handcuffs and pulling you out of the cot. Your knees hit the metal floor and it takes all of your training from Bro to not yelp out in pain. He doesn't bother to even wait for you to get your footing before he's pulling you by the cuffs. It's too rough, the metal is digging into your wrists, rubbing them raw with every tug. Your feet scramble to get traction on the smooth flooring, only they took your shoes a few hours ago and the socks they provided aren't exactly great for this.

Finally you manage to push off the floor and onto your feet, forced to immedetly step into line behind him. You try not to look at the other prisoners, only your eyes meet strange, purple irises. Kurloz smirks at you, and you swear you hear an eery voice inside your head.

"Not much longer, my brother. The Dark carnival beckons for us. We will be free soon."

The voice forced in your head sounds as if it's spoken through fog, thick and listless. No one understands what Kurloz really does, perhaps he has more powers than anyone knows about.

The officer leads you out of the cell block and to the sterile looking hallway. It's mostly empty, save for two guards stationed outside of the block. Down the hall is two more guards, the only other block in this part of the prison. It's most likely where Dave currently is.

Your brother never should have gotten involved in this. You were so sure that by being vigilantes he wouldn't be at risk. Some good that did. He's in here with you, taking half the blame for every vile action you took. He did nothing wrong. He's a good kid.

The officer throws you into an empty interrogation room, or rather simply a room with a table in it, but you know what it's going to be used for. They want information from you. As long as it doesn't put Dave at risk, you're willing to tell them the truth. You'll take the blame for everything you've done. You aren't going to fight it any longer. You made your bed, time to lay in it.

Being forced into a metal chair, the officer takes a seat across from you. Your shoulders are sore, and you roll them in a failed attempt to ease the pain. You've been cuffed for, probably over a day now. It's hard to tell time in that place. You know you've gotten at least two meals since you've here at least.

"Well?" Looking at the officer, you watch as his brow wrinkles in irritation. You don't plan on playing nice, you weren't exactly treated with great hospitality by him. You may be accepting of your consequences but that doesn't mean you have to be kind.

"The interrogator will be here shortly. I've been asked to watch you."

"Wonderful." Rolling your eyes, you lean back in the chair, the cold metal presses uncomfortably between your shoulder blades. The light in the room is unbearable, far too bright. You wish you had your shades again, but you know that won't be happening.

The door to the room opens. You inhale sharply as you meet forest green eyes behind thick framed glasses.

Jake.

"Hello. Good to see you again, old chap." Jake smiles at you but…it's wrong. He looks, genuinely pleased to see you right now. That…something isn't right. Maybe he's just playing it up so he doesn't look like the bad guy here. But you saw the way he looked at you when he brought you in. He hated you. Even being stuck in the elevator was hard for him.

"You too, man. Uh…look is it really okay for you to be interrogating me? I mean, isn't there some sort of conflict of interest or whatever?" It feels a little stupid on the league's end, granted you wouldn't put it past them to use Jake against you, but even this seems a little cruel.

"Come on then, I know we were friends, but" You tune him out. FRIENDS?! That's all he has to say about everything between the two of you? You were FRIENDS?! Anger boils inside of you, your shoulders shake and your eyes narrow. You know you aren't doing a good job of hiding how much that hurt, but it's hard to just hide that feeling.

"I guess you fuck all your friends then, huh, English?" The look on Jake's face is one of pure shock. as if he hadn't known.

Oh fuck them.

A laugh bubbles out, this is too much. The league really sent a shifter in place of JAKE?! As if you wouldn't notice?! Surely by now they know about your relationship, about how the two of you were inseparable even before you got together! How fucking stupid do they think you are?!

"I'm sorry, what exactly is so funny?" 'Jake' puts his hands on his hips. They're doing a decent job, only they clearly don't know the real Jake.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I know you're not Jake. First of all, I'm pretty sure Jake was well aware that we fucked, next time someone drops info on you like that, best play it safe and not react at all. Some people will drop info like that, even if it isn't real. Second of all, Jake's a lot smarter than you give him credit for. And a hell of a lot more angry with me than you seem to think. I don't know if you've spoken to him recently, but he's pretty damn glad I'm here. So cut the bullshit."

The shifter slowly changes, Jake's face morphing into more feminine features, refined and sharp. Her green eyes are narrowed at you, perfect cat eyeliner making her eyes far more fierce.

"You're smarter than I assumed, Dirk Strider." You're not sure who this person is, clearly someone the league keeps on retainer for these sorts of missions. She sits in one of the other chairs across from you, her back straight. Her tattooed arms folded over her chest.

"That's a good thing to keep in mind. I'm a lot of things, but, usually, I'm not stupid."

"Interesting. Your ego is quite large. You remind me of your rather in that way." It's those words that sting more than anything. A gentle shrug is all you respond with, can't let her know that she shot you through the gut with that one. The last thing you want is to dredge up your real feelings about Bro, but you know that isn't going to stop her.

"Well, he did raise me. " You use the term 'raise' very loosely there.

"Speaking of which, now that we know Ult's identity, it begs the question to be asked. Why DID you kill your father? Puppeteer was an upstanding hero. He risked his life for others on a daily basis, he was an amazing man. Helpful, selfless, kind. He was the best hero our society had seen in decades." She clearly didn't know Bro. Very few did.

"Yeah, he was a good actor, I'll give him that. All fake generosity, all he cared about was the limelight and the money. If the league hadn't gotten to him first, he would have made his fame as a villain. Just because someone is a hero as job, doesn't mean they're a good person, infallible. He was the worst kind of person. I don't know who you are, so I'm assuming you're either not an active hero, or at least not someone who socializes with them. Because I would have remembered you. Bro would take us to the office, Dave and I, and all those heroes would look at these skinny, scared little kids and think, 'Oh, clearly Bro is such a good father!' it's bull shit! No one saw what was happening because they didn't want to, or didn't care enough to actually help someone who was actively suffering right in front of them when a camera wasn't taking note. Who looks a six year old and his little brother and thinks it's normal for them to be so skinny, to be scared of every little god damn noise. That it's normal for them to have scars covering their bodies, to KNOW HOW TO SWORD FIGHT! Who…who watches a child hold his baby brother in his arms, cowering in a corner because someone was walking by them too quietly?! They did nothing. They all saw that, saw Dave and I and didn't…no one did anything. No one stopped him. So I took it into my own hands. Is that really so bad?"

The shifter watches you, her brows furrowed and her black painted lips set in a frown. Her claw like nails tap on the table.

"Is there any proof of this?" Of course she doesn't believe you. Everyone has their head shoves so far up the league's ass, that they can't see past the glitz and glam of someone being a hero.

"The scars on Dave and I. Our medical records show fractures and chronic malnutrition from the time we were young. Like I said, no one really cared to notice because they were too blinded by what Bro did for a living."

"That is unacceptable. I will be taking note of this. However, you are still a murderer. You were well into your twenties when you killed him, I highly doubt you couldn't have left."

"Oh, and what makes you think we didn't try? You really think my first plan was to murder the man? No. I tried to get Dave out of that hell-scape. Every. Single. Time. He caught us. It made everything so much worse. Dave almost DIED because Bro pushed him off the damn rooftop of our apartment building. If he couldn't re-wind time then he would have been gone. That's when I decided it was time."

Thinking about that day on the roof is hard, you remember running in an attempt to grab him before he fell. Watching him plummet to his death as you gripped the edge of the roof. The relief you felt when he was inexplicably standing beside you.

The shifter only nods, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder. "Now, what about the other heroes you've harmed? Why them?"

"That's…more complicated. I was very angry, I thought that after I killed Bro everyone would sort of wake up from whatever idolized version they had of him. It never happened. They mourned him, villanized me, people I have known for years were saying it should have been Ult that died in that fight. They didn't know they were telling me that, but it still…" He shakes his head. "My sister, Roxy, she was killed by a REAL villain, and no one did anything to help her. It all got brushed under the rug. To protect the man who SOLD HER IDENTITY! Do you have…any idea how horrible it is? For the first time you're meeting your sister to be at her funeral? I barely went…I mean…I went to the viewing, the funeral was too much."

"I remember that happening…I was at the funeral…Roxy was…the best of us." For once, the shifter seems to show a real emotion, her eyes wet with tears threatening to fall.

"Yeah. She was. And look where that got her. Betrayed by one of her own. Who I have to share a goddamned cell block with and tune out all his flirting like he didn't take the life of someone like HER. And don't misconstrue my rantings for someone who doesn't feel guilt. Because I do. If I had known it was Jade who I was fighting, I never would have even started. That was…probably about the time I started waking up to exactly what I was doing. I was no better than him, but by that point…Ult was all I knew. The only way I knew to change the infrastructure of this messed up society."

The shifter watches you, so you keep going.

"It wasn't until I met Jake that I…I really started to understand what I was doing. I was able to see the aftermath of my actions, I was working for people who…who I previously hated. Sure, some of them were still complete assholes who thought all heroes were infallible. Kankri, for example. But he's never actually done anything wrong other than being a douchebag."

"Hmm, yes. Kankri does have a tendency for rubbing others the wrong way. I fear that he's a rather close friend of mine, so I understand why he stands out as being one of the people perpetuating the system you've grown to hate."

"Okay, so you get it, at least on some level then?"

"I do. I've never been fond of putting people up on a pedestal like they're a god. It's not what we're supposed to do, that's not the point of being a hero. The point is to help people, and some of my co-workers have seemed to forget that. I can sympathize with your reasoning's. But I still need the rest of your story, if you don't mind to continue." Saying you're shocked at her words would be an understatement.

"Alright, well, like I said. Jake. I was taking care of him, as his doctor, and…Dave and Jade have been friends since they were kids. Of course we didn't talk about our home-lives really. She might have known who our father was. But I'm really not sure. But Jake had mentioned that Jade was depressed and that while he was in the hospital having John and Jane around had seemed to help her. So Dave started hanging out with her and, I joined." Looking down at your cuffed hands, you focus on the bruises forming around your wrists.

"I was…able to see exactly what I did to her. She's paralyzed. She's pretty much got a handle on her physical problems, but her mental health was awful and it made things worse on her. But seeing how happy she was when I brought Dave and Rose over. It felt like I was slowly making up for everything. Even if I couldn't actually fix what I did. I could at least help make her life easier. That's when I decided to stop being Ult, the villain."

"You say you decided to stop, yet you shot Gunman, didn't you?" Hissing, you close your eyes. That day was..a lot to say the least.

"I didn't mean to. I…well you see, I told Dave I wanted to stop being a monster. I wanted to help people, and I couldn't exactly go to the league and be a hero. Not that I'd want to. So…vigilantism it was. That's when I brought Dave on. He wasn't EVER part of anything I did. Not before. We would watch stores that were targets for the local mob in our little piece of the city. We offered security and safety to those who were overlooked by the league. It was nice…knowing we were doing something. Even if it wasn't a lot. We were helping the people around us. And well, you now how it ended…"

"It seems as though yours and your brother's testimonies are similar. I will relay this to the league. Thank you for your time. I would…also request you speak to no one else other than me. My name is Porrim. Please feel free to request a talk if you think of anything else." With that, the shifter stands up, and is gone.

Back in your cell, you lean against the wall, closing your eyes tightly. Your broken arm has yet to be looked at, and it's starting to really mess with you. At least in the past you've been able to stint a fracture or break. But here, there's nothing for you to use. Not even a goddamned book. It doesn't help that you're still cuffed. They will not take the damn things off. It's getting unbearable.

The pain is making you sweat, and you swear your head is spinning. It's all too much. But you keep calm, your breaths shallow and controlled. Breath threw it. It's all you have to do. The pain will subside eventually.

"Hey, hot-stuff, you doin' okay over there?" Cronus FUCKING Ampora yells from his cell. Anger boils up inside, the man's voice is like sandpaper, even if it's modified by that damn thing on his face. The last thing you want is to hear from this bastard. "Come on then, don't be shy." He croons from two cells down. Asshole.

"I swear if you speak to me one more goddamn time I will break this fucking glass and strangle you." This only seems to fuel him.

"Oh, you like it rough then? Good to know. If you wanna get those nice strong hands on me, I'm all yours baby. You look like you really know how to take control." His sleazy voice makes you want to puke.

"Fuck off! I'm not flirting with you! You're lucky there's four sets of thick glass between us. Because trust me, if I could get close enough to you, you would be dead before you could take another pathetic breath of air. You killed my sister, and I will NOT forgive you for that. You'll be HAPPY if all I do is kill you!" What's the point of keeping calm anymore? This bastard has gotten on your last nerve, you're already in jail. With all the information you've given, it's not like you're getting out of here any time soon.

With a jerk, your cell door starts to slide open, and you're on your feet. What the hell is going on? Hesitantly, you look down the hallway, noticing the others are stepping out of their own cells. Something is wrong.

"Well, are you going to stand there all day, Dirk? Or are you going to save our little brother?" Hal's voice comes through a speaker somewhere in the block. That genius! You should have known he had some sort of contingency plan for this! You're out of your cell in an instant, flash stepping to the security door. Lord English has already bolted out of corridor, and is fighting off the two guards stationed at your block.

Taking the opportunity, you run towards the next set of guards. They're already pointing guns at you. Flash-stepping out of the way allows you to barely dodge the bullets. You may not be able to use your powers, but thankfully, flash-stepping only seems to be a strange ability your family learned.

You don't want to kill anyone, but if you can get Dave out of here, you'll do what you can otherwise. Jumping off the ground, you wrap your legs around one of the officer's necks so that you're temperarily sitting on their shoulders. Squeezing tightly you wait for them to fall to the ground before round-house kicking the other.

Sirens begin to blare and the lights go out. Of course someone noticed, it wasn't going to be subtle. You hope Hal at least has a plan here.

Stepping into the cell block, you spot Dave instantly. He's poking his head out from the cell and looking at you with wide eyes, his shades were already gone before you got there, they broke his visor after all.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?!" Your little brother run towards you.

"This is Hal's doing, I don't know what the plan is, other than just run. If we can get out of here then maybe we can just get the hell out of dodge and start a new life somewhere remote. I don't know. But lets go."

The two of you flash-step out of the cell block, gun fire ringing out behind you. Thankfully the bullets aren't going your way, you're too far gone down the hallway by now, just a blur of orange and red.

Skidding to a stop, the two of you see a set of guards duking it out with Cronus. God you hope they kill him.

"Dave, I think we need to split up. I'll take care of the guards, you find a way out. You don't need to be here. At least I deserve my prison time."

"Dude, what the hell? Absolutely not! I'm not leaving you behind!" Dave's words are hushed, but filled with nerves.

"Just trust me on this. You get out. I'll meet you back at home. Make sure Rose is okay, and DON'T get caught." A hand is placed on his shoulder and you give it a tight squeeze. Okay, you can do this. Keep the guards distracted so Dave can get out of here. That's a good plan.

"Fuck. Fine. But you better meet up with us." With that, Dave is gone. You know he doesn't want to leave you, but you can't let your brother be here. It isn't safe. If they start treating him like a real prisoner, like they do Kurloz…you couldn't live with yourself.

"Alright Hal, I know you can hear me. Make sure you lead Dave where he needs to go. I'm gonna…I don't even know." A light in one of the side rooms begins to flash, it's different from the siren lights currently flashing, just a yellow-tinted bulb flickering on and off. Guess you need to go there.

The room Hal leads you to is empty, save for a few storage shelves. You…don't really know what he wants you to do in here. Maybe hide? Taking the initiative, you push one of the shelves out from against the wall and crouch down behind it. Yeah, okay. Hiding time. You've played this game plenty before. You can keep yourself quiet.

It's far too familiar, the feeling of hiding in the dark, forcing your breathing to be quiet despite the pounding heart in your chest. The bang of the metal door hitting the wall inside the room makes you jump. Keep calm. Breaths even and shallow. You must remember that. He can't find you.

"Dirk?"

Oh GOD. That voice.

"Come on out lil' man. I know you're hiding in here, you pussy." Bro can't find you. Not again. He's going to kill you this time.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you try to calm your nerves. But you can hear his footsteps, feel his overbearing presence . It's suffocating, and not only because you have your hand covering your mouth and nose. You can smell his god awful cologne.

The shelf pushes away, your hiding spot revealed. It's over. Bro's going to actually kill you.

You can't bring yourself to open your eyes, even as a strong hand grabs you by the shoulder.

"Look at me, Dammit!" It isn't Bro's voice, this one is lined with a thick British accent, as opposed to Bro's Texan.

Opening your eyes, you see Jake's face. It's too dark in the room to see much more detail, but you know it's him.

"He's coming, you need to hide. Stay low, stay quiet. He's in here." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but he seems to hear you.

"It isn't real. It's just me and you in here. Kurloz is out there, that's all it is. Now come on. We need to get you back to your cell." He lifts you to your feet with his strong arms, your legs feel like jelly and you have to lean on him to stand.

"I heard him. He-"

"He's dead. " Jake's words hit you to your core and it suddenly floods back. You killed Bro…he can't be here. You made sure of it. Even as you were handling his funeral, you made SURE his body was cremated. You didn't want to take any chances.

Silence fills the room, Jake allowing you to take your time. Even now, he's far too nice for his own good.

"You shouldn't have helped me." Stupid, you should be thanking him!

"I can do what I bloody well please, Dirk. But I will be damned if I let you sit there like a terrified child!" He begins to pull you out of the corner, his large hand on your arm, the good one that isn't broken.

"You really are the best of them." It's a mumbled response, your body is too exhausted to fight. All you can do is hope Dave got out. You hope he did.

"Let's get you back. This stunt you pulled was idiotic at best." The two of you walk quietly, the sirens begin to fade and the lights are switched back on. You hope Dave got out.

"I took an opportunity to get Dave out. I didn't…I wasn't actually going to go with him. He doesn't deserve to be here. I told Porrim the same thing. I hope she listened to be, I hope she believed me. Dave didn't do anything wrong. He shouldn't be here…"

"I can't believe a word you bloody say, Dirk! How do I know you aren't just lying through your teeth? I know you love your brother, and I KNOW you would do anything to protect him. How do I not know you aren't lying about this?" He stops walking to look at you. With the lights back on you can see the exhaustion in his face, dark circles under his eyes, and tear stains on his waterline.

"You don't have to believe me." You've already ruined his trust, it's understandable that he doesn't believe you.

"And you have the Gaul to try to escape! Good heavens man! Do you understand the position I'm in?! We came here to talk to you and you just…You are so frustrating! I can barely understand anything you do anymore! I try to, by GOD have I been trying to understand why you did what you did! But I just cannot wrap my noggin around anything! You're so damn deplorable! I cannot believe you….you…UGH!"

"You don't have to try to understand. I did awful things…things I wish I could take back…you don't need to understand."

"Ah, but see, I do. Because YOU made me fall in love with the man who hurt my little sister!" He's yelling now, and you can't blame him. If anything it makes you relieved. He isn't just blindly forgiving you, he's angry. He should be. He should hate you.

"It's not like I meant for this to happen. I didn't mean to make you fall in love with me. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. But I tried to be better. I tried to be the man you wanted me to be. I told you already that I stopped all that Ult shit. I stopped because you and Jade made me see what I was doing wrong. I wasn't helping anyone. But I wanted to, but I didn't want the damn hero name attached to me. I couldn't end up being exactly what Bro trained me to be."

"You will never be what he wanted you to be, if anything you were worse. You became so much worse."

His words twist in your gut like a knife.

The walk back is silent. There is nothing you can say after that. Because he's right isn't he. In the end, you became worse than Bro, worse than what he trained you to be. You killed someone, even if that someone WAS Bro. You hurt an innocent, and tried to worm your way into her and her brothers lives like you had any place there.

The cells are different now, down one prisoner from what you can see. Kurloz must still be missing.

"Dave is missing. He's wanted, at least for now. I hope you got what you wanted." You're closed up in your cell, the wall sliding back in it's place. Dammit. DAMMIT!

Jake watches as you silently walk back to your cot, sitting on the thin mattress, the bars pressing into your asscheeks. It's uncomfortable, but you don't care right now. All you care about is that Dave got out. Maybe he can do something. Maybe he can make a new life, take Rose and get as far from this hellhole of a city as he can. Maybe one day he'll forget about you and be able to live his own life with out you or Bro looming over him.

"For what it's worth…I wish Jade had killed me during that fight."

"Maybe it would have been for the better." With that, the man you love leaves you in this cell once again.

Curling in on yourself, you hold your knees to your chest. Empty nothingness weighs on your chest, tight and suffocating. Jake's right. I would have been for the better if she had killed you. Even if she didn't mean to, you know she had every reason to. But she didn't, even though her power allows her to kill within an instant. She should have used it.

But then she would have been no better than you.