Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[France, Paris] 

It’s currently early in the morning, as they’re pulling out of the driveway right now. They still had a six-hour drive, usually Nick would be mentally complaining about long-hour drives, but he was actually enthusiatic about it. If it meant not seeing David for a long time, then he'd do anything. Finally, it will just be him, his Mum, and Nellie from now on.

Two days ago, Nick was in his room—laying on his bed on top of the covers, and was scrolling through Instagram—on his phone, and then suddenly his parents start having a fighting match. They've always been like this, if they hate each other this much just get a divorce. Most kids Nick’s age would be devastated to have their parents get a divorce, but unlike them, Nick wouldn’t care—it would honestly be a relief.

Eventually, Nick gets tired of all the screaming, so he reaches on his nightstand for his air-pod case, and opens it plugging them in his ears. It’s only then that he immediately finds out their completely drained. Nick rolls his eyes, and groans with annoyance. He sits  up—his knees being bent, and he runs, his a hand through his soft ginger hair, as it falls immediately back into it’s place.

Suddenly, the word–divorce–comes out of what sounded like Nick’s mum’s mouth. Nick's eyes widened, as he took his air-pods out, and set them back on his nightstand. Nick got up and cracked his door open—leaning against it to listen better. Hearing his parents discuss it made part of him happy, but leaving the other part of him guilty for being happy. As expected, Nick did feel a whole lot of relief, when he heard his dad agree. Him and David both felt relieved, but for entirely different reasons.

–

[England, UK]

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝗼𝐮 𝐁𝗼𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐘𝐞𝐭? - 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝗼

Meanwhile, six-hours of listening to the playlist he made for long car rides like this, with his air-pods being plugged in—was getting kind of boring. Nick wondered what it would be like in England, because he would be going to a new school, and meeting new people. Nick was born in England, but he grew up in France, so he had the accent for England, and the language for France.

Back in Paris, Nick wasn't that popular at school, and the rugby team he was on sucked. Nick did have friends but they were all fake he could tell, but he didn't do anything about it. Nick could not wait to finally leave his school. It was amazing to have a fresh start, because he desperately needed it.

Meanwhile, a few minutes later they finally pulled into their new driveway—to their new house. Getting out of the car was a nightmare for him—especially when you've been sitting down for six-hours, but he somehow managed to do it. The house was crowded by lots of men carrying stuff inside to help us move. 

Nick took his bag up to his room. His room was just the right shape and size for him, and he loved it even more than his old room. He went back outside, but when he turned around, a boy that looked around his age was caught staring at him.

Charlie had only come out here, because he couldn't be near his Mum right now. That's when he saw a boy who looked like a year 10 or year 11. They looked like they were moving. Charlie can't lie, the boy did look really attractive, and he’s only saying that because he's gay. He got outed last year for god knows what. He then realized he was staring, so he quickly glanced somewhere else—hoping the stranger hadn't seen him.

Charlie sat on the sidewalk, wrapping his arms loosely around his knees, and he lets out a sigh—clearing his head, and refreshing his brain. Suddenly the same guy who moved in beside Charlie, was approaching him. Nick sits down beside Charlie.

“Hey…” Charlie says in the softest tone, and Nick flicks his hair back. He smiles kindly at Charlie. 

“Hey,” Nick replies back, and Charlie could melt at how attractive his voice was. Charlie was bad at conversations, because he always made them dry.

“Um…y-you moved—to England?” Charlie asked, even though it was an obvious answer. Where’s your head Charlie?

Nick looked behind him, and then turned back to Charlie with an answer, “Uh…yeah!” Nick replied. “My parents divorced two days ago,” He added, which made Charlie feel sorry for him, but guilty for wishing his parents got a divorce.

“I'm…sorry,” Charlie apologizes, and Nick drops his head down looking at his lap. Nick lets out a light chuckle—he doesn't want to be pitied.

“Don't be…I kind of wanted it to happen,” Nick said, and Charlie was not expecting that answer, but he didn't know the backstory—so he shouldn’t judge.

“Nicky come help us!” His mum called from a distance, and that's when he realizes he has to go.

Nick gave Charlie a slight smile before saying, “I should probably go,” Nick really doesn't want to go, and neither does Charlie, but they have their own stuff to deal with.

Charlie awkwardly clears his throat. “Uh, yeah! Of course! I should probably get inside as well,” Charlie says, he was annoyed at himself for stammering. They finally waved each other off, and went they’re separate ways. 

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

–

Charlie sighs before entering his house, expecting his mum to be on the other side ready to scream the moment Charlie steps foot into his house. He didn't come inside surprised, he expected her to be there, waiting to murder him.

“You know you're grounded,” his mum says, but Charlie was definitely not expecting that.

“What, why?!” Charlie asks, as he walked fully inside. He was confused why he was grounded, he rathers to get yelled at.

“Because—you walked out while I was talking to you,” his mum told him. Oh. That. Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes, because she acts like she was using a normal tone. 

“You weren't talking though,” he simply said—adding a pause, “you were, screaming, yelling how useless I was!” Charlie raised his voice, but that wasn't going to change his mum’s mind. He turned to his dad who had just walked in.

“Dad…please,” Charlie begs helplessly, and he could tell his Dad wants to give in, but of course, he's going to choose Mum’s side with everything.

“No. You’re grounded, now off you go,” his dad rejects, and Charlie gives him an unbelievable look, as his eyes tear up.

“Y'all are the worst parents in the world!” Charlie says—a noticeable crack in his voice. He runs upstairs and passes his older sister Tori, who was peeking from the top of the staircase.

She had heard and seen everything. He ignores her going to his room, and plops down on his bed, lying on his back—staring at his ceiling. Charlie just can't be around his mum, and he knows Tori sees the mistreatment too, but nothing can help his pain go away.

Charlie thinks about going to the beach, but he remembers he’s grounded. The beach is Charlie’s safe place. It's only a five-minute walk from where his lives. The sound of the waves focus Charlie’s mind. He remembers that he's snuck out before, and it takes more second-guessing before finally deciding this is the only thing that will help him. He gets out of bed, and unlocks his window—he slides it open, and climbs out. He jumps towards the tree, and finally climbs down to the ground. Charlie had hoped no one had seen him, but little did he know Nick had seen him.

–

Finally, Nick’s house was all furnished, and his room looked awesome. He realized his bedroom window was right across from the stranger’s bedroom window, he met earlier today. Nick couldn’t believe he forgot to get his name. 

His mum had enrolled him in an all-boys school, named: Truham Grammar. But he didn’t have to worry about school at all, because it’s the summer holidays. Meanwhile, Nick was sitting against his headboard—scrolling through TikTok on his phone, but he gets interrupted when he hears a sudden knock on his door.

“Come in!” Nick calls, and his mum gladly walks in and sits on his bed. Nick sets his phone down beside him.

“How do you like your new room?” Sarah asks, and Nick smiles. He loves his new room a lot better, and his favorite part are the fairy lights.

“It's so amazing,” Nick says, and Sarah’s heart warms. This is exactly what she had hoped for.

“Awe…” She says with a slight linger in her voice. “Well…theres a beach nearby, if you want to go, and it’s only a five-minute walk,” Sarah informs, and Nick has a feeling that he might actually love it here.

“Yeah, sure I'll go,” Nick agrees, and his mum smiles—giving his hand a light squeeze before exiting his room.

Nick gets up and walks towards his closet, and opens it. He decides to go simple with a t-shirt and shorts. After he's done getting dressed, he turns around to face his window, and something surprises him. Nick walks closer, and he sees the stranger he met earlier literally climbing out his window. Nick assumes he's sneaking out, but he just ignores it—focusing on going to the beach. 

When Nick makes it out the door it's completely dark outside, and the stars are out. He makes sure to close the door behind him. The silence outside is very loud, and all he can hear is cricket sounds, but there's a soft glow, because of the lamp post. At least it wasn't completely dark.

– 𝐓𝐰𝗼 𝐈𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐎𝐧𝐞 - 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒, 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝗼𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭

Meanwhile, the sun had fully switched places with the moon—all the stars appearing with a soft glow. Underneath, the night sky—was a small silhouette sitting on the soft, wet sand, because it was close to the ocean. That being Charlie; he had his knees bent up to his chest as he hugged them resting his chin—letting the cold water hit his feet.

Charlie thinks of all the things his mum said to him, and it hurt so bad—so bad that he start sobbing, as tears poured down his eyes. He feels completely helpless. Right now nothing could fix this—no one could fix him. 

Suddenly, another silhouette makes it’s way towards Charlie, as it gets closer it appears to be Nick—he notices that Charlie looks like he’s crying, and worry washes over his face. He sits down quietly beside the crying boy.

“Hey…” Nick uses the softest tone, but that tone startled Charlie—he didn’t want Nick to see him crying so he quickly wipes his face before turning around.

“Uh–hey,” Charlie stammered, but Nick wasn’t buying his sudden act. He notices how lonely and lost this boy looks—the complete opposite of how he was this morning.

“W-were you…crying?” Nick asks, but Charlie wasn’t about to tell his whole story to a boy he doesn’t even know. The best he could do was to lie.

That word, that phrase, is something Charlie’s been doing a lot lately. He’s gotten good at it, a little too good. Even though he has two best friends: Tao and Elle, and two siblings: Tori and Oliver, Charlie still feels like the most loneliest person ever. He feels like he has no one, and this feeling is the most painful thing he’s ever felt.

Meanwhile, Charlie rubs his eyes and says, “Uh, no…I-I just got sand in my eyes,” it was supposed to be a lie, but when he rubs his eyes sand actually does get in his eyes. Nick chuckles, and grabs Charlie’s hands guiding them away from his eyes.

“Well stop rubbing them then! You’re making it worse!” Nick laughs, but his laugh is contagious, because he passes it on to Charlie.

“Here let me help,” Nick offers, and before Charlie could protest Nick places his cold thumbs on the bottom lid of his eyes. He wipes off the sand gently.

Charlie freezes up—a jolt of warm sparks aroused inside him. It feels like the heat of a camp fire flowing through his body. He’s felt feelings like this before with boys he fancied, but for some unknown reason this feeling felt different. It feels like he just knows.

Nick snaps him out of his thoughts, “All done,” Nick says—giving that irresistible smile, and Charlie replies back with rosie cheeks, and a shy smile.

“Thanks…” Charlie murmurs—chuckling, and Nick can’t help but admire the sound. He then remembered he forgot to ask for the boys name.

“I um…forgot to ask for your name earlier today,” Nick brings up, and Charlie remembers he had also forgot. Charlie breathes in the smell of the ocean and the fresh air of night sky.

“I’m…Charlie,” he introduces, and Nick chuckles softly. They pause for a few seconds listening to the sound of the waves splashing everywhere.

“I’m, Nick,” Nick responded, and again that same jolt hit Charlie once again. It’s that name, it’s like he just knows, or maybe that’s a bit dramatic to say, it can’t be that big of a crush.

“Could I have your number, Charlie?” Nick asks holding out his phone for Charlie to take. Charlie smiles before nodding.

“Sure…” Charlie softly says, and he takes the phone typing in his number, and names the contact, Charlie. Hiding behind Nick’s phone was his stupid grin. Charlie hands the phone back.

They stayed at the beach talking for an hour. They just have this connection, maybe Nick didn't notice it but Charlie did. There was something about Nick that made Charlie want to live. Charlie noticed how pretty his freckles looked in the moonlight, and Nick had also noticed how beautiful Charlie's eyes were next to the ocean, but he thought of it as a normal thing to think.

Charlie loved how they never ran out of things to talk about. He found out that Nick had a dog named, Nellie. Charlie learned that Nick was going to the same school, and would be starting year 11. He also had learned Nick had a brother, and that Nick was fluent in French—which Charlie found very attractive.

After they both had to leave, they walked back with each other since they were neighbors. It was less scary for Nick. Charlie couldn't stop smiling when he got inside his room. Charlie didn't want to ignore this feeling—he wanted to explore it. Sadly, there was nothing he could do, because Nick was probably straight. It was suffering when Nick refused to leave his mind.

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

Chapter Text

[England, UK]

It’s 9:33 AM—and a ding, sounds on Charlie’s phone—which wakes him up. He groans turning over to his nightstand, and reaches for his phone—Charlie turns it on, and the first thing that pops up is a text from an unknown number – hey, it’s Nick! – As soon as Charlie sees that name, he immediately sits up against his headboard.

He eagerly begins to text back – hey, Nick! – He patiently waits for a response, and luckily Nick reads the text fast, and replies – sorry…did I wake you up? – Well, he sort of did wake up Charlie, but if it means Nick is the one who’s texting him then Charlie really doesn’t mind.

Charlie finally response back – kind of, but really it’s fine! – Nick smiles to himself at the text, and it isn’t long before Charlie sends another text – morning – Nick chuckles, at least he has one new friend.

Nick replies back saying – morning – and that’s how they begin texting back and forth. Nick and Charlie could talk all day, but what Nick doesn’t know is that Charlie’s hiding a whole lot from him.

–

ONE WEEK LATER.

The Springs, are eating dinner at the table, but they can’t even enjoy the meal because Charlie’s phone keeps going off. He doesn’t even care that he’s not supposed to have phones at the table. He just continues to text away, while everyone is staring at him.

Jane clears her throat, “Charlie, you know we’re not supposed to use phones at the table,” She reminds, and Charlie looks up—he sets his phone down on the table.

”Sorry,” Charlie apologizes, and finally they continued to eat—well except Charlie, because of his eating disorder—anorexia. “I’m not hungry.”

Meanwhile, he stands up—going straight to his room, before his mum yells at him to come back. Charlie walks over to his window, because he saw Nick. He waves at Nick—which Nick waves back.

Charlie then thinks of an idea, and looks back down at his phone and texts Nick – want to meet up at the beach? – he could see Nick immediately smile, and text back – sure – Charlie smiles, and immediately slides his window open climbing out.

–

𝐈 𝗺𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝗼𝐮, 𝐈’𝗺 𝐬𝗼𝐫𝐫𝐲 - 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐫𝐚𝗺𝐬

They finally met up, and already begun talking. They are laying next to each other on the towel that Nick had brought—and their hands remain on their stomach. Nick had always wanted to know why Charlie was always sneaking out, so he had decided to ask him. Nick turned his head, facing Charlie, who did the same thing.

”How come you’re always sneaking out?” Nick asked, and Charlie turned his head back, and he let out a sigh. What was he supposed to say—he comes to the beach so he won’t hurt himself.

“It’s a long…sad story, and I wouldn’t want to burden you with it,” Charlie chuckles, which worries Nick even more. Right now Charlie’s his bestfriend, and the person he enjoys being around the most and it’s only been a week.

”I don’t mind,” Nick says, but he notices the uncertainty fill his face. Charlie can’t pick if he should tell him or not.

“You…can talk to me…if you want, I know we just met, but you’re my bestfriend. I’m only saying that, because you’re my only friend,” Nick stammers, and Charlie can not believe he’s actually about to tell Nick, but he wants to make sure he doesn’t tell the whole story.

”Um…” Charlie struggled to find the right words. “My parents–they’ll never understand me. T-they try to, but all they do is make things worse,” Charlie explains, and Nick is laying on his side now—fully listening.

”My mum literally called me useless yesterday,” Charlie said—trying to laugh, and make it a joke, but Nick could tell he was only trying not to cry.

”I guess…she’s right in some ways,” Charlie pause for a second, to shed a tear—which break Nick’s heart to see him like this.

“I have lots of friends, a-and their amazing…but I still feel…so alone—all the time,” Charlie explains, and Nick just wants to hold this boy in his arms as he cries. That probably doesn’t seem very normal for someone who’s straight to say.

”I sneak out because…the beach is the only place where I feel safe…and I can just cry, and no one will hear me,” He explains, and Nick realized Charlie had been right—this was a sad story.

”Charlie…I had no idea,” Nick whispers, and Charlie turns his head to meet Nick’s eyes. Charlie releases a shaky breath.

”Yeah…” Charlie murmurs, after a few seconds of Nick not saying anything, Charlie starts to worry if he had maybe scared him off.

”Well…if you ever need someone to…hear you cry, I’m always here,” Nick says in a soft tone, and Charlie’s shocked, because no one has ever been this caring towards him.

”Thanks,” Charlie says, and he turns fully on his side facing Nick, who gives a soft smile. They just stare into each other’s eyes.

”I love talking to you…” Nick tells him, and Charlie blushes, because no one has ever been this nice to him.

”Same,” Charlie murmurs—wanting to kiss him so badly, and Nick raises an eyebrow looking shocked.

”Oh, really? I’m not annoying to talk to?” Nick asks, and Charlie chuckles lightly, he loves it when this boy laughs. All Charlie could think is that Nick really wasn’t annoying. 

“You said it, not me,” Charlie jokes, and Nick gasps dramatically—sitting up, and Charlie does the same.

”Uh, how dare you!” Nick says in a sarcastic tone. He then leap forward tackling Charlie back on the ground.

Nick’s now hovering over Charlie, and the playful laughter starts, and they completely ignore the fact that Nick is on top of Charlie. Nick begins to tickle Charlie—making him squeal and squirm beneath him.

”N-Nick! Stop it!” Charlie squeals with laughter, but Nick disobeys him. “Okay, okay, you win!” Charlie finally gives in, and Nick finally decides to stop attacking him with tickles.

They pause for a moment to catch their breaths, Charlie seeing Nick hovering over him makes Charlie want to grab Nick’s face and kiss him, he wants to do it so bad, even just thinking about it makes him want to cry. Charlie’s never wanted someone this much, he’s so desperate to have him.

Nick reaches out, as his fingers touch Charlie’s hair. “You…you have some sand in you hair,” Nick tells him, and he begins to brush away the sand. What is this boy doing to Charlie, he wants answers.

”Um…I should get home, before my mum notices I’m gone,” Charlie informs, and Nick chuckles. He finally gets off of Charlie.

”I’ll walk with you,” Nick stands up, and he offers Charlie his hand for him to take. Charlie smiles softly.

”Thanks,” Charlie says, as he takes Nick’s  soft hand, and lifts himself off the ground. Nick knows he has a crush on Charlie and he can’t deny it anymore.

–

Charlie and Nick wave each other off, but when he walks into his house—his mum is waiting by the door, with crossed arms.  She doesn’t look happy, and if anything she was waiting to murder him. Charlie tries to play it cool as possible, hoping it’ll work.

”Charlie, where have you been?” Jane asks, and Charlie knows he has no choice but to say the truth.

Charlie looks down before finally admitting, ”The beach,” and by the look on Janes face, Charlie knew she is probably not going to let him off the hook.

”So, you just snuck out?” Jane asked, but the look on her son’s face—of him not even denying it, made her even more angry.

”I’m sorry…” Charlie croaked, as tears fell. He couldn’t handle the screaming anymore.

“No! I can’t even look at you right now,” Jane yells, but something comes out of her mouth that Charlie had wish he didn’t hear.

“Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re my son!” As soon as those words left her mouth, Charlie’s eyes widened in disbelief. How could his mum say something like that, but Charlie doesn’t know.

Charlie walks away, and runs up the stairs, with tears pouring down. He needs to get away, but his mum literally yelled at him for sneaking out. He has no other option, so he opens his drawer, and picks up a sliver blade, and his rag. Charlie hadn’t done this in a while, but he couldn’t go to the beach.

Charlie sits on the floor with his back against the side of his bed. He squeezes his eyes shut, and he feels the slight stinging on his wrist from blood releasing. Charlie leans his head back, and covers the fresh cut with the rag. He couldn’t help but start to cry. After the blood dries up, Charlie cleans up.

He sees that Nick’s bedroom light is on, and he just can’t sleep here tonight. Charlie stands up, and goes to his wardrobe. He picks out a blue jumper and random PJ bottoms. * After he put them on, he walks over to his window. It’s not like he could get anymore grounded. 

Finally, he lifts it open, and steps onto the tree, climbing down—and he finally reaches the ground. He makes his way over to Nick’s window. Thank god there’s a tree where he could climb. Charlie begins to climb up, and seeing that Nick’s window was unlocked he lifts it open stumbling inside.

𝐢 𝐝𝗼𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝗼𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝗼𝗺𝐞𝗼𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 - 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐭𝗼𝐧 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐞

Nick immediately looks up from his phone. “Charlie?” Nick says in a confused tone. He was sitting with his knees slightly bent—against the headboard immediately looks up from his phone. 

Charlie shuts the window, but as soon as he does, something triggers him. He thinks back, that his mum actually said something like that to him. All that’s going through Charlie’s head is, My mum hates me, My mum hates me, the voice gets so loud that it becomes to much for him to handle—which eventually causes him to have a panic attack.

Charlie’s chest tightens, and he slides down against Nick’s wall—hugging his knees close to his chest. Nick becomes worried, and sets his phone down—walking over to Charlie. Nick crouches down in front of him. Charlie starts gasping for breath like he can’t breathe.

”Charlie, you’re okay, please breathe for me,” Nick says softly, and he takes hold of Charlie’s hand and places it on his heart. Nick then places his other hand on Charlie’s heart.

“I’ve got you Charlie, you’re okay,” Nick whispers, and finally the tightness disappears—making Charlie breathe hard until his breathing got back to normal, which it eventually did.

”Thanks,” Charlie murmurs, and Nick removes his hand. He looks down at Charlie’s hand—his sleeve his slightly pulled up enough for Nick to see, a fresh cut. He holds Charlie’s hand in front of him viewing his wrist.

”Charlie…did you,” Nick says, but he gets cut off when Charlie snatches his hand back. Charlie stands up.

”I’m going to go—I shouldn’t have came here,” Charlie says, and Nick stands up blocking his window, because he didn’t want Charlie to be alone.

”No! Charlie I’m not leaving you alone!” Nick raises his voice. “You don’t have to tell me, but please…I just can’t live with myself knowing you’d be alone,” Nick explains in a lower tone—which catches Charlie’s attention, knowing that Nick’s right.

“Stay the night?” Nick asks, and Charlie thinks about it for a few seconds, but knowing it’d be nice to fall asleep with someone.

“Okay,” Charlie says in a soft voice—giving a shy smile. Nick also smiles, and he thinks about how adorable Charlie looks in his PJ’s, and his messy hair. He just wants to cuddle him to sleep.

”I uh…I don’t have a mattress or anything,” Nick says, but he’s too scared to admit he actually wants to sleep with Charlie.

Without thinking Charlie blurts out, “Can I sleep with you?” He immediately regrets it but Charlie knows it’s too late to take it back.

”Of course,” Nick says, and they begin to get ready for bed, they get under the covers, but it’s not enough for Charlie to fall asleep. 

Charlie rolls over, and his head is now laying on Nick’s chest. Nick really doesn’t want Charlie to move. So he just lets him sleep like that. He could feel Charlie hug him tighter like he’s scared that if he lets go, Nick will disappear forever.

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

Chapter Text

[England, UK]

Over these past two weeks, Charlie and Nick have been getting really close. They’re crushes towards each other grew, and it was becoming to painful for them not being able to just be with each other. Nick wanted it just as badly as Charlie did. Yes, he’s had feelings for girls in the past, but his feelings were never this strong.

Meanwhile, Charlie, Tao, and Elle had all decided to have a sleepover at Tao’s house. They had just finished playing a round of monopoly—which Charlie won at, and now they were just chatting, sitting up against the headboard—on Tao’s bed. Charlie had decided to tell Tao and Elle about his new friend he met.

”So, um…I kind of met a boy, and we’re neighbors…and his name is Nick,” Charlie admits, and they give a shock expression. Tao and Elle make eye contact, before turning back to Charlie.

”Is this another crush?” Tao asks—raising an eyebrow, Charlie looks down. It was indeed a crush, but Charlie doesn’t know, this crush felt way too real.

”Yeah, but…I don’t know…all these feelings are way too real, I’ve never felt like this for any other boy I fancied,” Charlie explains—pulling his knees up to his chest. Tao and Elle smirk, before giving Charlie an obvious look.

”So, basically a crush?” Tao says in an obvious tone, Charlie groans in frustration—while burying his face in his knees.

After a moment, Charlie looks up, before sighing, ”I feel like I’ve…met my soulmate,” Charlie says—with dreamy eyes, Elle and Tao make eye contact once again, before bursting out with laughter. Charlie just rolls his eyes. Will his friends ever take him seriously?

Charlie’s head drop down, ”Fucking god…” he mutters underneath his breath, annoyed. At this point, Charlie had decided to just give up, and change the subject.

After a moment of silence, Charlie blurts out, “Are you guys going to the Bonfire this week? I was thinking, I could introduce you guys to Nick,” Charlie asks hopefully, meeting their eyes. Elle raises her eyebrows at Charlie—giving him a shocked look.

Elle smiles, ”Now we have to go!” Elle exclaims, making Charlie giggle. Tao on the other hand, is annoyed, and Charlie honestly gets it—he’s alway protective over him.

Elle notices Tao, “right, Tao?” Elle asks using a more stern tone, Tao rolled his eyes in frustration, but it’s that single tone that’s a problem.

”Fine. Yep. I-I wouldn’t want to miss the Bonfire,” Tao gives in, it left Charlie confused, but he just brushed it off. It’s probably just Tao being weird.

–

The next day, Charlie had told his mum he was going over to Nick’s house, and luckily she actually agreed. Charlie exited the front door, and then he went over to the side of Nick’s house, and climbed up the tree. Charlie tried to lift Nick’s window, but this time it was locked. Charlie spotted Nick laying on his bed— awake, and he looked stressed. Charlie knocked on the stained glass three times. 

Nick immediately looked up and saw Charlie, who waved at him—signaling him to let him inside. Nick approached the window, and opened it for Charlie—letting him inside. Honestly Charlie being here, made Nick less stress.

”Hey, you okay?” Charlie says in a breathy tone, Nick sighs—sitting down on the edge of his bed, to which Charlie joins him—sitting beside him. 

After a moment, Nick says, “I don’t even know why I’m stressed,” his head drops, as he’s now spaced out. It’s probably, because all this sexuality stuff is stressing him out.

”Need a hug?” Charlie offers reaching his arms out, and Nick gladly accepts the offer. These feelings towards Charlie are getting way to hard to resist.

Nick pulls away, “thanks,” he murmurs, with Charlie smiling in response. There’s a few seconds of silence before Charlie decides to bring up the Bonfire.

”So…I was wondering, if you would maybe wanna go to the Bonfire…with-with me?” Charlie asks nervously, but Nick gives him a confused look, like he’s never heard of a Bonfire.

”Bonfire?” Nick asks—raising an eyebrow, he’s never been to a bonfire before. Charlie let’s out the most adorable giggle.

”Yeah…they throw a party on the beach every year on July, 31st,” Charlie informs, and this does sound exciting to Nick. If it means being with Charlie, then count him in.

Nick smiles, ”Sure…I’ll go,” Nick agrees—which makes Charlie happy. That means he can finally introduce his friends.

”But you sure your mum would let you?” Nick asks, and Charlie chuckles—already imagining his mum’s reaction. He hated how strict she was.

“Probably not…but I’ll find away to convince her,” Charlie says, and Nick chuckles as if to be saying, yeah good luck with that!

–

Later in the day, Charlie is sitting down, eating dinner, and he decides to bring up the bonfire to his mum—praying that she’ll let him go. But unluckily, he hasn’t been on his mum’s good side lately, and even if he was she still wouldn’t like the idea of it.

”So…the bonfires tomorrow night,” Charlie starts, and Jane already has an idea of what Charlie is going to ask, but he decides to ask anyways.

”Can I go?” Charlie asks hopefully, and his mum scoffs—both dad and Tori look at him feeling bad, on the other hand, Oliver has no idea what they’re even talking about.

”No! Why would I let you go to a party where people underage drink,” Jane asks in the obvious, and Charlie scoffs. She acts like Charlie’s going to underage drink.

”Yeah, but I won’t!” Charlie defends himself, and his mum gives him the look like nothing will change her mind.

”The answer is no! End of discussion!” Jane shouts, and Charlie is angry for no one sticking up for him. Charlie doesn’t even know why he tried.

”On second thought—I’m not really hungry anymore,” Charlie pushes his plate forward—scooting his chair back—the sound screeching against the floor.

Charlie walked up the stairs, before anyone could stop him and entered his room. He collapsed on the bed, letting out a sigh. Charlie thought for a moment, and he wasn’t going to let his mum control him. Charlie was going to the bonfire and no one could talk him out of it.

–

The next day, it was a little after nine, and Charlie woke up to his phone ringing. The contact said Nick, so he immediately picked up. Just seeing Nick’s name made Charlie’s day.

”Hey…” Charlie says in a groggy voice, which Nick thinks is adorable. He wishes he could see the way Charlie looks when he wakes up.

”Hey!” Nick says on the other end, and Charlie immediately softens just at the sound of his voice.

”Did your mum ever let you go to the bonfire?” Nick asks, and he could feel Charlie roll his eyes. Charlie scoffs—wishing he could say she did.

”Not really, but I’m not going to let her control me,” Charlie says, and he could feel Nick giving a surprised look on the other line.

”Want to FaceTime?” Nick asks in a soft voice. Charlie was silent for a few seconds. His hair was a mess.

”I just woke up, and you want to see my face,” Charlie asks—slightly feeling insecure. Nick chuckle, Charlie always looks adorable.

”I’m sure you look adorable,” Nick says—which makes Charlie blush. He wishes he could reach through the phone and smother him with kisses.

”Okay…fine,” Charlie gives in, and pushes the FaceTime button. The sight of Nick makes Charlie’s crush grow even more.

”Hi…”

”Hi…”

–

𝐒𝐮𝗺𝗺𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝗺𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 - 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐃𝐞𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐲

It’s late which means the bonfire has just started, and of course Charlie’s mum didn’t allow him to go so he decided to sneak out instead. After he got dressed—he walked over to his window, and opened it. Charlie met up with Nick outside his house, so they could walk to the beach together, where the bonfire was at. Charlie spotted Tao and Elle, whom had also spotted Charlie, they began to approach each other.

”Guys this is Nick,” Charlie said introducing him, and Nick just replied with an awkward wave.

”Hey!” Elle says, and Nick felt some comfort with the excitement in Elle’s voice. She always had a way with making people feel comfortable.

”Hey Nick, Charlie’s told us so much about you, and it’s honestly annoying,” Tao blurted out, and Elle shot him a glare. Charlie’s face went red.

”Tao!” Charlie complained, but instead Nick just smirked at Charlie, thinking it’s cute how flustered he gets.

”Oh really?” Nick asked – Charlie could sense the tease in his tone. Nick – platonically – wrapped an arm around Charlie. 

“Don’t let it get to your head,” Charlie says as he unravels himself from Nick. Elle and Tao just look at him giving an obvious smirk.

”Are you going to drink tonight?” Tao asked, but Charlie didn’t want to, because he didn’t plan on embarrassing himself in front of Nick.

”No, I’m good,” Charlie said, and Tao just shrugged. Tao approached the table and paid for two drinks—handing one to Elle.

”Me and Tao are going towards the crowd, would you and Nick like to come?” Elle asked, but Charlie honestly wanted some alone time with Nick. He felt bad ditching his best friends.

”I think I’m going to stay and chat with Nick,” Charlie said, and Elle gave a smile and she linked her arm to Tao’s—they walked towards the crowd.

A few minutes later, Charlie’s standing by the bar—chatting and laughing with Nick. He doesn’t really plan on drinking tonight—because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Nick. Or so he thought. Suddenly, a ding sounds on Charlie’s phone, and it alerts him. He sees a text from his mum – COME BACK RIGHT NOW!!!! – this text make Charlie so angry. Maybe just one drink won’t hurt.

Charlie approaches the drinking table. At this point Charlie would do anything to just forget, so he hands the stranger the cash in exchange for one cup of vodka. Charlie grabs the vodka bottle that was sitting on the table, and wraps his mouth around it—chugging it. It doesn’t take a lot to get Charlie drunk. Nick sees this and immediately looks worried, so he turns towards Charlie, and grabs the vodka bottle lowering it from his mouth.

“Fucking god, slow down!” Nick warns, giving a light chuckle. “Are you okay, I can tell something’s bothering you,” Nick asks, and Charlie disobeys him by taking another sip.

Part of it is because, he’s anxious about how much his mums been yelling at him lately. Charlie just can’t deal with her anymore. She hates how she never listens to what he has to say for once.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay, in fact I feel better than ever,” Charlie slurs, but Nick doesn’t buy it. He can tell Charlie’s only drinking to forget his problems.

“Charlie…” Nick says, but he gets cut off—Charlie sets the vodka bottle down, and sets his hands on Nick’s hips—pulling him closer.

“You…look…so fucking…hot tonight,” Charlie slurs in a breathy drunk tone. Nick is shocked—is Charlie flirting with him—Nick blushes.

“Thanks…” Nick chuckles awkwardly, and Charlie does something that makes him uncomfortable.

Charlie begins to slide his hands up underneath Nick’s shirt touching his waist. Of course, Nick wants to make-out with him, but this just feels wrong. Nick grabs Charlie's wrist pulling his hands out of his shirt, but Charlie tries to touch him again, and Nick grabs his hands to stop him.

“Charlie, stop…you’re drunk,” Nick mutters in a low tone, almost as if he was begging. Charlie finally removes his hands, but only to wrap them around Nick’s neck.

“Do you wanna make out?” Charlie slur, and Nick is shocked that he would even suggest that. He sort of did find drunk Charlie hot though.

“What?!” Nick says confused, and he then pulls Charlie’s, arms off from around his neck.

Charlie scoffs, getting annoyed , so he walks back over to the bar and pays for another cup of vodka. Then he walks towards the crowd—chugging the cup on his way. Nick runs after him—worried. Once he catches up with Charlie, he touches his shoulder—making him turn around to face Nick.

“Charlie, what the fuck has gotten into you?!” Nick snaps, snatching the cup out of his hand. It’s like one moment he’s pissed off at Nick, and the other he wants to get off with him.

Without a warning—Charlie cups Nick’s cheek pulling him in, and their lips connect. Charlie moves his lips against his, but Nick doesn't return the favor. The taste of alcohol lingers in Nick’s mouth, and Charlie completely ignores the fact that there inside a crowd.

Tao and Elle stand in horror watching. This makes Nick completely furious, and physically ill. He knows Charlie’s just drunk but he’s to furious to think that. He shoves Charlie off of him—making him stumble back. He didn’t even know if Nick likes him in return.

“What the actual fuck!” Nick shouts, running a hand through his hair. “You can’t just kiss me?!” He yells—making Charlie flinch. When Nick yelled at him it sort of snapped him out of his drunk body, and he finally realized what he had done.

But it’s too late, Nick begins to push his way out of the crowd, and Charlie starts running after him—he can’t believe he just done that. Nick is probably going to hate him forever.

“Nick wait!” Charlie calls out, and Nick throws the vodka bottle in a nearby garbage bin—he turns around meeting Charlie’s eyes.

“Charlie, I liked you okay?!—I liked you since the first day I ever set eyes on you!” Nick yells, and Charlie is shocked at Nick’s words. Charlie can’t really tell if he’s mad at him or not.

“I like you so much!” Nick pauses, and he even lets a few tears slip. These feelings are about to take over Nick’s brain.

“But…I don’t even know who you are right now…” Nick confesses, and Charlie’s eye widened—it reminded him of the worst thing his mum ever said to him.

“Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re my son!”

But Nick’s comment hurt even more.

He watches as Nick walks away from him—leaving him just standing there shocked, and finally he bursts into tears. Tao and Elle—who saw everything, approaches Charlie and helps him—allowing him to lean on them, offering to take him back to their place.

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

–

At Tao’s place, Elle sat Charlie on Tao’s bed, while Tao went to go get him a glass of water. Thank god his mum wasn’t home. After a few minutes, he came back handing the glass to Charlie, who gulped it down.

”So…want to tell us what happen?” Elle asked, and Tao sat on the opposite side of her. Charlie sighed—handing the glass to Tao, who sat it down.

”I just made the drunk mistake of kissing Nick,” Charlie said, but they could tell it was more than that. There had to be a reason.

”Is that all?” Elle said, giving Charlie a look that he knew she didn’t believe a word he said.

Charlie scoffed and rolled his eyes, “God, yes! I fell for a straight boy way too hard only to get my heart broken,” Charlie explains, and he honestly getting annoyed at all there questions.

”Nick doesn’t deserve you he’s a sick anyways,” Tao says, but Charlie immediately gets angry. He stands up facing them.

”Don’t talk about Nick that way!” Charlie snaps. “He’s a way better friend than y’all are,” Charlie insults, and he leaves both Tao and Elle shocked. Charlie couldn’t help it.

”Charlie…that’s not fair,” Elle says in a soft tone, and Tao’s still trying to process what Charlie had just said.

”If we’re not friends you’ll have know one else, you’ll end up all alone!” Tao said, and Charlie was shocked, but he knew Tao was right.

”Tao!” Elle shouts, and tries to break up the fight between Charlie and Tao, but has no luck.

”I rather have no friends then have friends like ya’ll!” Charlie shouts, and Tao clenches his fist, getting angrier by the second.

”In that case—people who aren’t my friends are not allowed in my house!” Tao argues back, and Elle is sort of annoyed how she got in the middle of this.

”Guys please stop,” Elle begs, but no one seems to hear her, because she’s been begging this while this.

”Fine,” Charlie replies, and makes his way towards the door leaving Tao’s room—walks down the stairs and finally exiting his house.

–

Charlie gets back to his house, and sees his mum waiting with an angry expression on her face. Charlie honestly couldn’t deal with her right now.

”Charlie I specifically told you not to go to the party!” His mum says, but Charlie just ignores her and head towards the stairs.

”Don’t you dare walk away from me!” Jane shouts, but the sound of his door slamming close shows otherwise. He just done with everyone who hurt him.

A few minutes later, Charlie was laying flat on his bed, looking at the ceiling. He wanted to cry—he wanted to cry so damn hard. The sound of a knock makes Charlie groan.  

“Charlie…” a soft familiar voice sounds—which Charlie recognizes it to be his sister, Tori.

”What,” Charlie says in a annoyed voice. He just honestly wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

”Can I…can I come in,” Tori asks politely, but Charlie care how nicely she asked he so desperately wanted to be alone.

”No, now go away,” Charlie rudely says, to be honest he did feel a little bad for snapping at her.

”But, Charlie…” Tori tried to reason, but it was only making Charlie more annoyed by the second.

”For fucks sake! I said piss off,” Charlie snaps, and Tori doesn’t want to make him anymore angry so she just leaves.

A few minutes later Charlie decides what he needs and he needs the beach or he’ll have a relapse. He lifts open his window climbing out and makes his way over to the beach.

–

𝐅𝗼𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝗼𝐟 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 - 𝐒𝐮𝐟𝐣𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐬

At the beach, Charlie was sitting on the wet sand, he hugged his knees tightly to his chest, and buried his face. He couldn’t take all this pain anymore, nobody wanted him to exist.

Charlie never thought he’d be suicidal, but he wants to die, he want’s to die so bad. No one can help him. Charlie feels like everyone is leaving him—his mum hates him, he lost his friends, he pushed away Tori, and the one person that he never imagine losing—is gone.

Charlie couldn’t help but cry, his sobs get louder, he hates this world. His whole body is now shaking as he bawls his eyes out. Charlie’s never cried this much before. His sobs eventually quiet down, and now silent tears fall.

Suddenly, a silhouette walks closer to Charlie, and sits down beside him, even though Nick is so angry at what Charlie did—he cares way too much to just let him go. He sighs finding words to speak.

“You don’t have to go through this alone, you know,” Nick says, which makes Charlie turn his head—surprised to see him here.

“I-I thought you hated me…” Charlie croaks, and Nick’s face softened. He could never hate Charlie.

“Even though what you did sucks…I—I could never…hate you Charlie,” Nick explains, and Charlie knows he doesn’t deserve it.

“I just…I feel so…so lonely all the time,” Charlie chokes in sobs, which breaks Nick’s hearts seeing him like this.

“Everyone in my life who ever gave me a chance—I’ve fucked it up and now everyones leaving me,” Charlie says as tears stream down his damp cold cheeks.   Nick takes Charlie’s hand—stroking the back of it.

“Their not leaving you,” Nick pauses before saying, “because I haven’t left,” Charlie doesn’t understand why he hasn’t left though. Why won’t he just give up and leave—he doesn’t deserve Nick.

“Why haven’t you?” Charlie asks, and Nick’s hearts aches at that question. Charlie wipes his tears with the sleeve of his jumper.

“Because…now that I’ve met you…I can’t ever imagine my life without you in it,” Nick confesses, and Charlie finally looks up meeting Nick’s eyes. It finally hits him: Nick likes you and he’s not leaving—ever.

Nick let’s go of Charlie’s hand, and cups Charlie damp cheek—stroking it with his thumb.  He gently kisses Charlie on the lips—breathing in his scent. Charlie slightly leans into Nick’s mouth. They slowly pull away.

“You’re it for me Charlie,” Nick says, and all Charlie could think was, Nick had always been it for him.

Charlie break into a slight smile—chuckling breathlessly. Nick drops his hands from Charlie’s face—down to his arms. Charlie blinks a ton to make sure he’s not dreaming. Charlie leans in and gently, and pushes Nick slightly using his lips, and they part.

They stare into each other’s eyes—their noses basically touching. Charlie props himself on to his hands and knees— hovering over Nick. He leans in pushing Nick using his lips, but this time—a bit harder, and he leans back, and Charlie follows his leads—as their foreheads collided.

Nick is now holding himself up on his elbows. Their lips meet again but this time the kiss is longer. When they do lean away their both gasping for breath, but that doesn’t stop them from going back in. They finally apart leaning their foreheads against each other.

“You’ve always been it for me, I just knew since the moment I set eyes on you,” Charlie says, and Nick let’s out a breathy chuckle. There was still time to figure his sexuality out, but all he knew it that he was completely crazy for Charlie. 

After talking for an hour—they walk home together. Charlie kisses Nick goodbye, which was really hard to let go of each other, but they manage to finally part ways. 

Charlie could finally say everything was going to be okay…

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

Chapter Text

[England, UK]

Over the past week, Nick and Charlie get really close. They finally have what they were so desperate to have. They can finally be together and be happy. Except Charlie still wasn’t talking to Tao and Elle.   He had to be honest, he desperately missed his best friends, but he didn’t know what he would even say.

Meanwhile, obviously Nick and Charlie are hanging out at Nick’s house. They are just laying on Nick’s bed—facing each other. Nick had his hand in Charlie’s hair, and was running his fingers through it. While, Charlie was looking down, as his hands rested on Nick’s waist—stroking it.

Charlie looked up at Nick, which made Nick smile. “You’re eyes are so beautiful,” Nick says in a soft voice. Charlie blushes at those words, because he’s not use to being complement.

“Thanks,” Charlie chuckled—the sound that Nick adores. He then cups Charlie’s cheek stroking it, before he leans in connecting their lips, as both their eyes shut. They pull away, and Charlie blinks a ton to confirm he's not dreaming. 

Charlie then connects their lips again, and he turns them over, and he’s now hovering over Nick, as he’s on his back underneath Charlie. Their lips move at a slow rhythm, as they can hear each other breathing. Why is it not enough for Charlie though? Why does he want more of him?

Charlie then pushes his lips harder against Nick’s, and their mouths open and close. Nick’s hands find it’s way to Charlie’s hair—tangling his fingers. Nick then tugs on the curls—making Charlie release a small whimper against Nick’s mouth. They part—colliding their foreheads against each other—panting for breath.

Nick let’s out a breathless laugh, “Wow…” Nick murmurs, and Charlie giggles. They’ve never felt like this with anyone before.

Charlie’s phone dings, so he rolls on his back—pulling out his phone. Nick nuzzles his head in Charlie’s neck. He got a text saying – Come back home NOW – Nick frowns at the text. Charlie just shuts his phone off.

”Can I stay the night?” Charlie asks in a soft voice, and Nick melts at the softness in Charlie’s voice.

”Are you sure, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble,” Nick says, but Charlie gives puppy eyes, and Nick can’t help but think how adorable he looks.

”Please?” Charlie says—the slight beg in his voice. Nick let’s out a sigh, he couldn’t resist Charlie even if he tried.

”Okay,” Nick murmurs, and Charlie smiles. Nick gets up—approaching his wardrobe, and picked out a jumper and some joggers for him to wear. * He hands it to Charlie.

Charlie goes into the bathroom to change, he loves the smell of the clothes. He puts it on, and comes out of the bathroom. Nick thinks he looks extremely adorable, because of how big the clothes look on him.

–

In the middle of the night, Charlie’s head is laying on Nick’s chest. Suddenly, Charlie starts shifting a lot on top of Nick, and he starts whimpering, until actual sobs come out of him.

Nick is quickly alarmed, so he shuffles from beneath Charlie—sitting up, and he turned his lamp on. It’s only then he realizes how much Charlie’s been sweating on him. He stroked Charlie’s hair.

”Hey…you’re okay, you’re safe,” Nick says in a soft voice, and plants kisses on his cheek, forehead, and nose. Another sob comes out of Charlie.

“Charlie, hey I’m right here,” Nick softly says, and finally Charlie’s eyes flutter open immediately spotting Nick.

Charlie sits up, “sorry,” Charlie apologizes, but Nick is confused because he didn’t do anything wrong.

”Don’t be sorry,” Nick says as his tucks the little strand of hear behind his ear, and Charlie gave a shy smile.

Charlie lies back down—looking down, but facing Nick. “D-do you usually always have nightmares?” Nick asks in a soft voice, and Charlie looks up at him—a single tear slips, which Nick quickly wipes. 

Charlie nods, “Yeah…yeah, I guess,” Charlie whispers, and the smallness of his voice breaks Nick’s heart. Nick strokes his cheek and kisses Charlie’s forehead. 

He plays with Charlie’s hair—soon Charlie’s eyes close, but Nick stays up for another hour, to make sure he doesn’t have another nightmare. Finally, he falls asleep.

–

The next day, Tao is on his way downstairs, because he heard someone knock. His mum was absent for work. Tao opens it, only to reveal Charlie. Tao scoffs.

”What, do you want?” Tao says in a rude tone, and Charlie is already regretting his decision.

“I'm so sorry! I know I fucked up I shouldn't have said all those things, and I'm just so sorry!” Charlie apologizes, and Tao looks down for a second—thinking that everything Charlie had said was true.

“No…I'm sorry,” Tao says, sighing. “I shouldn't have said those things about Nick,” Tao says, and a smile appears on Charlie’s face. Finally, they hug, they've both missed this so much.

They both get situated in Tao’s room on his bed—both sitting up against the headboard. He wanted to know if Charlie had talked to Nick ever since the bonfire, but if he hadn't Tao wouldn't find it normal, because last week with the way Charlie talked about Nick, made him want to believe him.

“So, have you talked to Nick since...you know?” Tao asked in an awkward tone. Charlie hugged his knees tighter to his chest, as he let out a sigh.

“We might have…kissed,” Charlie smirked, and Tao raised an eyebrow giving a shocked look.

“What?” Tao said, and Charlie let out a dramatic sigh, as he leans his head onto Tao’s shoulder.

“He's just so amazing, he takes care of me, and I love it when he plays with my hair, and the way he touches me, it's like I'm the only one who matters,” Charlie explains, and with the tone he's using it almost sounds like he's in love.

“And his lips are so, so soft I could just kiss him forever,” Charlie says, and Tao sighs, wondering if Charlie is in love with Nick.

“Charlie…are you in love?” Tao asks giving an unsurprised expression. Charlie scoffs dramatically—lifting his head off Tao’s shoulder.

“N-no…no…” Charlie defends, and Tao gives him a look that says, you sure about that? “M’not,” Charlie crosses his arms. A question going through his head, What if he was in love? They've only been going out for a week. 

–

[August, 18th, Thursday]             12:34 PM

Nick was chilling in his room, and suddenly he heard shuffling noises. Charlie slides the window open and steps inside. Nick immediately smiles as Charlie enters his room. 

Nick gets off his bed and stands up. He walks over towards Charlie, and grabs the back of his thighs—in one swift motion, Nick lifts him up, as Charlie wraps his legs around his waist, and arms around his neck. Nick spins him around giggling, as Charlie buries his head into Nick’s shoulder—breathing in his scent.

Charlie lifts his head up to meet Nick’s eyes, “Hi…” Charlie giggles, and Nick walks toward his bed—collapses, as Charlie’s back hits the mattress. Charlie grins, and Nick brushes his fringe away. 

“Hi…” Nick murmurs, then he lets out a chuckle, “is that my jumper?” Nick asks, and Charlie didn't even notice he is wearing Nick’s jumper, so he gets embarrassed.

Charlie grabs Nick’s face, “doesn't matter…” Charlie giggles as he connects their lips, and Nick chuckles against Charlie’s mouth. Nick lifts him up, and turns around, and sits on the edge of the bed with Charlie now straddling his lap. They pull away colliding their foreheads against each other.

Suddenly, a knock interrupts them, and they both look up. After, no answer Nick’s mum enters his room. She smiles as soon as she sees Charlie. Sarah had figured out about them two days ago, but luckily she’s nice.

–

[August, 16th, Tuesday]

Sarah and Nick were talking about school and what it will be like, but suddenly, they here shuffling—sadly Nick already has an idea what it was. Sarah gasps at Charlie who is seen, but as soon as he catches Sarah’s eye he ducks down, and climbs back down. Sarah turns to Nick, and she can read everything by the look on Nick’s face.

”How long has this been going on?” Sarah asks, and Nick lets out a nervous sigh. Nick didn’t except her to find out, but he’s kind of glad it’s off his chest.

”Since the second day…” Nick says in a nervous tone. Sarah gives him a look that says, please explain!

“Charlie’s…my boyfriend, I-I think I’m bisexual, but…I’m, I’m not sure,” Nick confesses, and Sarah’s face softens. She then pulls Nick into an embrace.

They pull away, “I’m not made that he’s been sneaking in your window,” Sarah explains, and Nick tilts his head confused. Not mad?

”You’re not?” Nick asks in a concerning tone, and Sarah shakes her head chuckling.

”No…I just wished you told me sooner,” She explains, and Nick let’s put a sigh in relief. He really did have the best mum ever.

–

[August, 18th, Thursday]

”Charlie, you’re welcome to stay over if you like?” Sarah offered with a beaming smile—which Charlie also gave her one in return.

”Thanks Ms. Nelson,” Charlie replied, and Sarah finally exited the room. Finally, Nick and Charlie had alone time.

”Please, call me Sarah dear,” She asked, and Charlie smiled and nodded. He loved Nick’s mum.

Eventually, there was lots of touching, kissing, making out, talking, laughing, and cuddling. No one would bother them. But sadly their fun would end soon as they were a few days away from starting school, so they had to make the most of their time.

Later at night, Nick and Charlie get ready for bed, or so they thought. Right now their laying side by side facing each other. Nick cups Charlie’s cheek—leaning in and kisses him, and Charlie rolls on his back, as Nick is hovering over him. They push their lips harder against each other, and they can hear how heavy their breathing is.

Suddenly, Nick pulls away huffing. His lips then connect with Charlie jaw, and he plants two more soft kisses Trail down to Charlie’s neck.

Nick pulls away, “is that okay?” Nick murmurs, and Charlie’s face heats up, because he wants more.

“Please…don’t stop,” Charlie begs, and Nick replies with a breathy laugh. He finds a spot on Charlie’s neck, and sucks there.

”O-oh god…” Charlie moans, and Nick grins against his skin. He can feel a bruise start to form. 

Nick pulls away, leaning his forehead against Charlie’s, as their noses touch. They smile against each other, as they catch their breaths. Charlie lifts a hand underneath Nick’s shirt exploring the bare skin beneath his t-shirt.

Eventually, they lay back down, and Charlie cuddles into Nick’s chest. He enjoys the feeling of Nick’s hands playing with his hair. Finally, Charlie closes his eyes, but he still feels Nick kiss him on the head.

–

Of course Charlie’s mum has grounded him, because of yesterday, when he slept over at Nick’s without telling her. But it was sort of worth it. Usually when he sleeps at home he ends up having nightmares, and Tori has to wake him up from them.

Charlie’s scared when he goes back to school, will Nick want to be lowkey? The answer would probably be yes. Even if he didn’t then Charlie wouldn’t let him, because he could stand the thought of what happened to him last year happen to Nick.

Last year was so bad for Charlie and he knew his friends Tao and Elle couldn’t protect him, so he sort of had no choice, but to suffer alone. The idea of Nick going through that makes him physically ill.

But even though Charlie wants to protect him from the world, he knows he can’t. 

Chapter Text

[England, UK]

Finally, summer is officially over. Charlie’s officially in year 10, and Nick’s officially in year 11. It feels strange, like is Charlie  supposed to keep low key? As soon as Charlie steps out of the bus, he sees Nick waiting for him.

Charlie approaches him, “So I was thinking, maybe I should just come out,” Nick says, and Charlie stares at him with wide eyes. Did he just hear that sentence correctly?

”What?” Charlie says in shock, Nick just lets out an agreeing sigh. This can’t be happening.

”I’m just the new kid, if I wasn’t then it would be much harder to come out,” Nick explains, and Charlie’s face softens. Charlie gets where Nick is coming from, he really does.

“Yeah, but…you don’t get how homophobic our school can be!” Charlie snaps, and Nick’s smile disappears. How would he know?

”How would you know?” Nick replies, and Charlie couldn’t believe it. He wants to scream and beg him not to come out.

”Because…I was outed,” Charlie says, and Nick’s eyes widened. He felt stupid for saying that.

After silence Charlie spoke, ”Do you really want to?” Charlie asks as a slight smile forms on his face. If this is what Nick truly wanted, then Charlie couldn’t stop him. 

Nick steps towards Charlie and takes him of his hands, “I really want to,” Nick says, and Charlie couldn’t believe this was actually happening at school.

Before Charlie walked through the corridor, Nick grabbed his hand, and they intertwined. Charlie gave a shy smile. Was this really happening? People gave them weird stares. They were going to be okay though as long as they had each other.

Meanwhile, they stopped in front of their form class, since luckily they had the same one. They walked to an empty seat, and sat down. Charlie couldn’t stop smiling, is this real life?

”You’re the literal best!” Charlie said, and Nick smiled. He’d do anything for Charlie even if it means risking his own life. And he doesn’t care how crazy that sounds.

–

Tao and Charlie are sitting on the bleachers today, because Charlie begged him. He knew Nick was probably going to practice rugby, and luckily he was. Nick catches Charlie staring, which Charlie quickly looks away. Nick runs over to the bleachers as soon as they had a break. He sits beside Charlie, but turning around, and he had one leg up as the other dangled down, and Charlie faces him crisscrossed.

Nick places both hands on Charlie’s thighs, “You were staring,” Nick says, and Charlie immediately gets flustered and scoffs. Nick caresses Charlie’s thighs.

“I-I was not!” Charlie stammers, and Nick chuckles at how cute Charlie’s being right now. He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.

”Yeah right,” Nick says in a sarcastic ton, and Charlie blushes even more. Okay maybe he was staring.

“Y-you just look so…fucking hot right now,” Charlie murmurs, and now it’s Nick’s turn to blush. Tao makes fake gagging noises.

Nick puts a finger underneath Charlie’s chin, “yeah?” Nick says in a low tone, beginning to lean in, and Charlie’s about to lose it.

”yeah…” Charlie replied back in the same tone. Finally, they lean in and connect their lips, but it doesn’t last for more than five seconds.

”Gross! You do realize I’m here, right?” Tao scoffs—interrupting them, and they jerk apart. Charlie groans in annoyance at Tao for interrupting them. 

“Tao!” Charlie complains—his tone being slight annoyed. Tao smirks at him, thinking it’s funny. Can’t they ever kiss in peace?

–

After school, Nick was chilling on his bed—on his phone scrolling through Instagram. Suddenly, a knock is heard on his door—which was obviously his mum’s. Nick calls for her to come inside, and she walks in with a smile.

“Hey, how was school?” Sarah says, as she approaches Nick’s bed and sit down crisscrossed.

”It was good,” Nick replies back, smiling in return. “I came out to the whole school today,” Nick confesses, and Sarah looks at him—giving a shocked expression.

”Really?!” Sarah asked—tilting her head. Nick nods, “I’m so proud of you!” Sarah exclaims, and Nick chuckles. Sarah then pulls Nick into a sweet embrace.

Sarah hops off his bed, “Mum?” Sarah turns around, “I think I’m going to go hang out at the beach,” Nick tells her, and Sarah smiles. She knows she trust’s her son.

“Be back in time for dinner,” Sarah says before exiting the room. Nick looks down smiling to himself.

–

Charlie was sit on the damp sand by the waves—the water only going up to his ankles. Suddenly, Nick joins him. Charlie gives a soft smile. Nick found it cute how Charlie was wearing his jumper and joggers, which looked a bit big on him. Charlie had his hood on his head. 

Nick pulls Charlie into a tight hug, and Charlie sighs against Nick’s chest. Why is Nick always a human body heater. As long as Nick is holding him, Charlie knows he’s safe. Nick makes him feel safe.

Nick cups Charlie’s face—stroking his cheek, “What happened…when-when you got outed?” Nick asks, and the question leaves Charlie stunned, because no one has ever asked this before.

Charlie looks down, the back up towards Nick, “I…can’t…” Charlie managed to get out, and he closes his eyes shedding a single tear. Nick wipes the tear—using the pad of his thumb.

”Are you…scared…t-that if I knew the truth,” Nick pauses to take a deep breath, “I’ll…leave you?” Nick says, and Charlie notices the slight crack in his voice.

Charlie nods, “I can’t…I…can’t,” suddenly, a sob noise comes from Charlie. “lose you…” Charlie whimpers, and he wipes his face with the jumper—completely forgetting it’s Nick.

Nick’s face softens, and he lets out a light chuckle. Nick pulls Charlie’s face closer, and places a gentle on his forehead, then another one on the tip of his nose, and finally, a kiss on to lips.

”Char…I promise…I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere, not now, and not ever,” Nick croaks, and now he’s crying. Charlie had noticed that Nick had called him Char.

Nick takes Charlie’s hands in his, “I…when people found out…I guess it surprised me, how homophobic people were,” Charlie begin—looking down, and Nick stroked the back of his hand switch his thumb. He was ready to listen to every word.

”People would just…say stuff to my face…b-bad—bad things,” Charlie felt his bottom lip wobble as he spoke. He was trying to resist the urge to cry.

“It went on for so long, that I started to believe what they were saying,” Charlie said in a shaky tone. He became brave enough—meeting Nick’s eyes.

“It made me really…hate myself,” Charlie croak, and a tear slipped his eye—which Nick quickly wiped away.

“It got so bad that I use to…cut myself,” Charlie explained—his eyes then flickers at their hands. A tear slid from Nick’s eye.

“Then I started having nightmares, and they got so bad that I would just scream…scream so loud,” Charlie continues, and Nick sort of knows what he’s trying to say.

”Charlie?” Nick murmurs, and Charlie looks up at him. “Do you…do you want to…kill yourself,” Nick asks, and this shocked Charlie, but also he didn’t want to deny it.

You never hear anybody asking this, so the fact that is was Nick who was asking this—it sort of frightened Charlie. Charlie looked up meeting Nick’s eyes, and Nick just knew—he just already knew the answer.

“Charlie…” Nick choked, there was a more noticeable crack in his voice. Nick pulled Charlie’s hood off his hair—revealing his messy hair.

Nick then pulled him into a tight hug. He let out a small sob sound, as a tear streamed down, and he buried his face deeper into Charlie’s shoulder. Nick would never let him go. Nick couldn’t lose him, he’s falling way to hard.

Nick pulls away, “Please…if you ever feel like that…tell me,” Nick croaked, but Charlie was scared, he didn’t want Nick to treat him differently.

”Okay,” Charlie simply said, but that wasn’t enough for Nick. He wanted Charlie to promise him.

”Charlie…please…I need you to promise me…promise you’ll tell me,” Nick begged, and Charlie looked down. He doesn’t want to bother Nick with his problems.

”I’m sorry,” Charlie whimpered, looking up. “I just…I don’t want to burden you…I wouldn’t want you start…treating me differently,” Charlie explained, and that made Nick sad that Charlie thought he would treat him any differently.

”You’re not…and I wouldn’t,” Nick murmured, “but I…I…” Nick struggled to find the right words. This confused Nick, because why was he wanting to say I love you? 

“I can’t lose you Char…” Nick whispered, and the feeling of the gentle wind hit them. No one’s ever said those words to him.

Why had Nick chose him out of all people, he could have any person he wanted, but he chose Charlie. He’s still in denial, he just can’t accept the fact that someone could actually feel this way about him.

”Please…Charlie…” Nick croaked, and Charlie’s heart broke at the desperation in Nick’s voice.

”Okay…I promise,” Charlie finally agreed, and all Nick could do is just sigh with relief. Charlie managed to give the slightest smile.

Nick tangled his fingers in Charlie’s curls, and he brought Charlie closer to him—pressing his lips against Charlie’s forehead. He lets the kiss linger for a little. Nick pulls away, and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose, then on his damp cheek.

Finally, they connect their lips, when they pull away, they let their foreheads collide, as their noses touch. But even all of this wasn’t enough to convince Charlie. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Charlie says, and Nick’s smile fades. He doesn’t want Charlie to feel like this. Nick wishes he could kiss all Charlie’s pain away.

”Charlie…” Nick chuckles. “I’m not anyone else’s…I’m only yours …I’m all yours,” Nick says, and Charlie slightly smiles. He realizes him and Nick hadn’t actually labeled themselves as boyfriends.

”What…are we then?” Charlie asked, and at that moment, Nick had also realized. Nick let out a shaky sigh, and stroked Charlie’s cheek.

“All I know is that you…are mine…only mine, and god Charlie I want you to be my boyfriend,” Nick says, and Charlie’s smile gets bigger. All Charlie could do is nod.

”Yes!” Charlie chuckles, and a smile also forms on Nick’s face, as he blushes. He never felt that way about anyone before.

“Yes?” Nick asks, and Charlie lets out a soft giggle. Charlie would probably say Nick is the only reason he wants to exist.

Charlie takes Nick’s hands in his. ”Yes…” Charlie confirms in a more softer tone. Nick chuckles, and brings one of Charlie’s hand to his lips—kissing his knuckle repeatedly.

Finally once again, their lips connect.

–

[August, 27th, Saturday]

Finally the day Nick and Charlie been dreading to come. It’s finally the weekend—which means they can finally have a sleepover. Not like they’ve been hanging out nonstop anyways.

Charlie rushes downstairs, “Mum! Can I sleepover at Nick’s today?” Charlie expected her to say yes, because that’s what she’s been doing.

To Charlie’s surprise, “No,” Jane simply said, and Charlie gave her a shocked look.

”What? Why!” Charlie groaned, and Jane shook her head. Okay maybe he’s been spending too much time with Nick, but for her to say no is ridiculous.

”Because! You two have been spending way two much time together! It’s not healthy!” Jane yelled, and Charlie scoffed. This was unbelievable for him, and he couldn’t believe she said it was not healthy.

”I get that he’s your boyfriend, but…at least spend one day apart…please it’s all I’m asking,” Jane asked, and Charlie thought about it. With Jane using that tone with him, it’s kind of hard to say no to.

“I…fine,” Charlie says, but he’s mentally breaking down. He can’t be without Nick, but he knew this wasn’t normal. Charlie walks up the stairs but stops at the top.

Why couldn’t he spend more than a second away from Nick without breaking down. What if he has separation anxiety? Suddenly, someone startles Charlie out of his thoughts.

Tori had tapped Charlie’s shoulder, “Hi,” Charlie jerked around. He should be use to Tori scaring him so much, he doesn’t know why he had got scared.

”Yes, sorry,” Charlie said, he then felt bad—bad for leaving Tori, and Oliver. He hasn’t played Mario-Cart with them since Nick moved here.

It wasn’t fair to them.

“Do you want to play Mario-Cart?” Charlie asked, and Tori nodded walking past Charlie and down the stairs. Charlie pulled out his phone.

He sent a text to Nick, My parents are banning me from sleeping over, I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess, Nick had immediately read Charlie’s message, and the three dots showed.

He replied, Aww…I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, I already miss you so much! Charlie smiled at the text, and then he turned off his phone and went downstairs.

–

They played Mario-Cart all day, and Charlie had to admit it was fun. He won most of the rounds, and it felt good to just laugh with his siblings. He should probably do this more often.

Meanwhile, it’s 12:00 AM, and Charlie walked in his room with a towel wrapped around his waist, because he just took a shower. A knock sounds on his window, and he looks over to see Nick. Charlie opens his window, and Nick comes inside.

“What are you doing here!” Charlie whisper-yells, and Nick chuckles, stepping closer to Charlie.

”Sorry, I just…I can’t sleep without you…it’s stupid, I’m gonna go,” Nick says, and he turns around, but before he leaves Charlie grabs his wrist.

Charlie cups Nick’s face, “It’s…not stupid, it’s actually really cute,” Charlie says, but all Nick can focus on is Charlie in just a towel.

”Has anyone ever told you, that you look so…fucking sexy?” Nick asks in a breathless voice—smiling. Charlie chuckles, as his hands drop down to Nick’s shoulders.

”Shut up…” Charlie says, leaning in, and giggling against Nick’s lips. The kiss soon gets heated, so Charlie pulls away.

”I would love to make out with you, but I have to get changed first…please turn around,” Charlie asks, it’s not that he was self conscious, he just wasn’t sure if Nick was ready for that sort of thing.

”Of course,” Nick turns around, and Charlie get changed in a oversized jumper, and jogger. 

Eventually, after tons of making out, they get ready for bed. Charlie crawls directly on top of Nick, laying down peacefully. He was on top of Nick, because he wanted to be sure Nick was right here with him, and so he doesn’t have a nightmare.

Charlie closes his eyes, as Nick is playing with his hair—stroking it. This right here is the safest Charlie has ever felt.

Charlie is scared.

Nick is scared.

Because they both realized they were crazy in love with each other.

Chapter Text

[England, UK]

The sun shining through the window had awakened Charlie. Luckily, he was still placed perfectly on top of Nick. Charlie then rolled of Nick, landing beside him. He propped up on his elbow. All that was going through Charlie’s head is, god Nick looks so adorable asleep.

Charlie brushed Nick’s fringe away, which makes him flutter his eyes open. The first thing his eyes happens to land on is Charlie’s breathtaking smile.

”Hi…” Charlie says in the softest tone—which makes Nick smile, and Charlie lays his head on Nick’s chest.

“Hi…” Nick replies—whispering, and he places a kiss on the top of Charlie’s head, then he runs his fingers through Charlie’s curls.

“You should probably go…before my mum sees you,” Charlie says, “I just wish we could nap and kiss, all the time and nobody would bother us,” Charlie adds, and Nick smiles at the dream he wishes to one day have.

”Yeah…” Nick agrees looking down. He then gets off the bed standing up, and turns to Charlie.

”I’ll see you later…today?” Nick asks, and Charlie nods. Nick bends down, and brushes away a curl that was covering Charlie’s face.

He then places a tender lingering kiss on his forehead, before exiting Charlie’s room—out the window. Charlie turns over on his side going back to sleep. Nick just wanted to hug him tightly, and tell him I love you repeatedly.

But Nick was scared that if he said it—it would hurt so, so much if he lost Charlie.

–

At Tao’s house, they had called a meeting, so both Tao and Elle were here. They had mattresses scattered out. Charlie collapsed on the mattress sighing.

”I think I’m so in love…” Charlie says, and Tao lays beside him. Charlie turns his head and meets Tao’s eyes. Elle sits down beside the mattress, and strokes Charlie’s hair.

”Is he in love with you?” Elle asks, and Charlie thought about it. He really hope he was.

”I…don’t know,” Charlie says, “I’ve never been so crazy, extremely, utterly…ridiculously in love with someone that much before,” Charlie explains, and Tao sits up wide-eyed. They didn’t know Charlie felt this way.

Charlie sits up, “I don’t know what to do,” Charlie says in an anxious tone. He wanted to say it so badly, but what if Nick didn’t say it back?

”What if you host a sleepover over?” Tao said, and that suggestion caught Charlie’s attention.

“That way we can help you,” Tao said, and it wasn’t a bad idea. This actually could work, for once Tao was a genus.

”Okay, yeah…I guess this could work,” Charlie agreed, and he pulled his friends into a hug. He loved his friends so much. This plan could actually succeed.

”Come over next weekend, Saturday?” Charlie asked, and Elle and Tao both nodded. Okay, next weekend it is. He was sort of nervous for this.

–

[September, 3rd, Saturday]

Thank god, Charlie’s parents were away for a work thing, and they had to take Oliver and Tori. They had left me to look after the house, and Tori offered to babysit Oliver. Meanwhile, Charlie’s doorbell rang, and he practically rushed to open it—revealing Nick whom was the last person to get here. Nick grabbed Charlie’s thighs, and lifted him up—Charlie wrap his legs around his waist, also wrapping his arms around his neck.

He buried his face into Nick’s shoulder. Charlie pulled away connecting their lips, and Nick carried him to the living room sitting down on the couch.

”For gods sakes not over here!” Tao groans, which Elle laughs at his reaction. Charlie and Nick pull away, and Charlie turned around and sat in Nick’s lap. 

They talked for a few hours, before deciding to hang out outside. Elle and Tao excused there self, so Charlie could say the thing. Nick was laying down on a picnic blanket, on his side facing Charlie who was also laying on his side. 

“You’re adorable,” Nick murmured, and Charlie giggled. Charlie reached out and stroked Nick’s freckled cheek.

Charlie say up, “I was going to tell you something,” Charlie said, and Nick sat up as well, and gave Charlie a confused look. Charlie sighed. 

“What?” Nick said, and Charlie was trying to figure out the right words. He didn’t know how to tell someone he’s in love with them.

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I just wanted to say that I…” Charlie said, and Nick knew instantly what he was trying to say. His only choice was to just avoid it.

Nick suddenly interrupted Charlie, by cupping his cheek, and he kissed him. Charlie was confused. He was so confused. Before he could say anything, Tao and Elle joined them outside. Nick and Charlie pulled away.

–

Nick was in the bathroom, which left Tao, Elle, and Charlie alone. It gave them time to ask Charlie what happened with Nick earlier.

”Did you tell him?” Tao asked, but he already knows the answer by Charlie’s expression.

”It was so weird, I was about to tell him, and then he just kissed me so randomly,”  Charlie explained, and even Tao and Elle were getting suspicious of Nick’s actions. It was obviously weird.

Elle suddenly gets up which leave both Tao and Charlie confused, “what are you doing?” Charlie asks, and she stops her tracks and turn around. It’s obvious she has an idea.

”Charlie do you trust me to talk to him?” Elle asks, and Charlie smiles. He can’t believe she would do something like that for him.

”You’d do that?” Charlie questions in a soft voice, and Elle smiled and nodded. Charlie was so lucky to have someone like her.

–

Nick comes out of the bathroom, only to spot Elle. “Hi…” She murmurs. “Can we…talk?” Elle asks, and Nick is nervous, because he doesn’t really know Elle that much.

”Um…okay,” Nick breaths giving in, so they went to sit down on the couch. Nick sat with his legs parted, and his feet planted flat on the ground—he rested his elbows on his legs, clasping his hands together.

Elle, who was sitting directly beside him, sighed. It was all a bit confusing. Nick didn’t know Elle like Charlie did, so the fact that she wants to talk to him alone, yeah, he’s one hundred percent it’s about Charlie, or Elle’s confessing the fact she had crush on Nick, but Nick likes the first theory better.

After a bit of silence, Elle finally speaks up, “do you…love Charlie?” She asked, and this shock Nick, like, okay they’re getting straight the point.

“You can’t…tell him promise me you won’t,” Nick asked, and Elle knew this was probably something serious. It sort of scared her.

Elle then thought for moment, before replying, “okay…” Nick was trying to find the right words, but it was sort of hard to explain.

”Um…yeah,” Nick breathes, “yeah I do…and…I’m so—so scared to say it b-because,” Nick is literally fighting the urge to cry. His head drops down, and he’s frozen staring at his hands.

He gives in to that urge, as a tear slow dances it’s way down Nick’s face, and falls onto his clasped hands. Elle doesn’t really know Nick, but it still breaks her heart to see someone cry.

“I’m scared t-that if I say it…” Nick pauses, “it will hurt so…so much if I lose him,” Nick manages to finally say, and Elle kind of gets where he’s coming from. He must be really hurting right now.

”Yeah but,” Elle softly says, “if you do lose him, trust me it’ll hurt way more if you don’t say it,” Elle explains, and Nick just looks at her. She placed her hand on top of Nick’s clasped hands.

–

Charlie went up stairs to get a bunch of pillows and blankets, so they could make a mattress on the floor in the living room. Charlie had asked Elle to help, only really so he could ask her what Nick said.

“So…what did he say,” Charlie asks hopefully, and Elle wonders if she should tell Charlie—after all, she has never kept any secrets from Charlie.

“He…wouldn't tell me,” Elle’s says—realizing it wasn't her secret to tell, it was Nick’s. 

Charlie looked down for a second, before meeting Elle’s eyes—acting normal by handing her some blankets. They finally left the room and went downstairs.

–

It was late and everyone was asleep, except for Nick and Charlie. Nick was laying on his side, but facing away from Charlie, and was just lying in silence. He was trying to avoid Charlie from saying I love you to him. 

Charlie who was lying on his back—turned over on his side. He scooted closer towards Nick, and placed a hand on his arm—rubbing it up and down. Nick couldn’t ignore Charlie, so he turned over facing him. 

“Hi…” Nick murmured, and Charlie’s face softened at him. Nick was acting sort of weird today.

”Hi…” Charlie replied, but suddenly a tear streams down his face. No one has ever made him feel like this before. 

Nick looks confused, “What?” Charlie chuckles, but it comes out like a half sob.  This is finally his chance to tell him.

”Nothing…” Charlie murmurs. “I just…really…lo-“ but there was no way Nick was going to let that happen. Nick interrupts Charlie with a yawn.

”Mmh, I’m tired…we should go to sleep,” Nick says, before turning over—not facing Charlie anymore. Charlie was shocked.

”Uh…o-okay,” Charlie stammers—confused. It doesn’t make sense, Nick had to be avoiding him. 

–

The next day, it is 11:47 AM, and everyone had left hours ago. Nick and Charlie had alone time. They were left, laying on their side facing each other, on Charlie’s bed. Nick placed his hand on Charlie’s leg—sliding it up to his thigh, which he then rubbed up and down.

He brought Charlie closer, and pushes his lips against his hard, and Charlie repays the favor. Charlie cups Nick’s face, as he rolls on to his back, and Nick is now hovering over him.

They can hear each other panting against each other’s lips. Nick pulls away, their foreheads collide as they. Nick had never been so, so desperate for someone, and it’s hard to explain, but it’s like he hasn’t eaten in years, he was literally starving for Charlie.

Nick places a kiss on Charlie jaw—trailing down to Charlie’s neck. He suck on a spot, and is for sure it’s going to form another hickey. What he didn’t know that, it was Charlie’s soft spot. 

”Ah…” Charlie moans, and Nick loves that he has that effect on him. Nick thought Charlie sounded so hot when he moaned.

“N-Nick…god,” Charlie whimpers, which makes Nick smile against his skin. It only made him mor desperate for Charlie.

Nick pulls away, and Charlie cups his face and presses his lips against his, as they move in sync. God Charlie is so crazy in love with Nick, he can’t even begin to explain this feeling right now. Charlie loves Nick so much.

Charlie pulls away leaning his forehead against Nick’s, “Nick…” Charlie says breathlessly, and they take a moment to catch their breathes.

“I love you…” Charlie finally admits, and Nick gives a worried look. He didn’t know Charlie was going to say it, so he wasn’t able to stop him this time.

“Nick I love you so, so much,” Charlie murmurs, and a tear escapes his eye. Why couldn’t Nick just say it back? The truth is he was scared, he is so scared.

After the silence Charlie started to get worried, “Y-you don’t have to say it back…I just wanted you to know,” Charlie says, but Nick was still hovering over Charlie frozen in place.

“Um…thanks?” Nick blurted out awkwardly, and he hates himself for that. Charlie was shocked, maybe he was right he was completely unlovable.

“You don’t…love me back?” Charlie asked, and Nick’s eyes flickered down for a  second. Shit. Why did he make Charlie think that?

That’s Charlie started to realize.

“You knew,” Charlie said, and Nick rolled off of him—sitting down, and Charlie sat up too.

“What?” Nick asked confused in what Charlie was talking about. What did he know? It almost scared him.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me…you knew I was t-trying to tell you that I…” Charlie shedded a tear, “ that I love you,” Charlie explained, and Nick didn’t deny it. The true is, yes, Nick was avoiding Charlie.

He just was so scared, because if he said it, and Charlie’s left him, he just can’t, it’ll hurt way too much.

Charlie scoffed. “I-I need some air,” Charlie muttered, and he got off his bed—heading for the door. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

Nick stood up, “Charlie it’s pouring down rain!” Nick said, and Charlie rolled his eyes, already annoyed. Why was he annoyed, it wasn’t Nick’s fault he didn’t love him.

“So?” Charlie rushed downstairs, with Nick following behind. Charlie pulled his hood over his head—he is wearing one of Nick’s jumpers.

Charlie opened the door, and once he got out of the driveway he walked along the sidewalk. The rain was pouring, down it was so loud. Charlie’s outfit was soaked. 

“Charlie!” Nick yelled out—running towards him, and Charlie stopped and turned around to meet Nick’s eyes.

Charlie looked down. “Nick no, it’s fine, I’m fine,” Charlie mumbled, and Nick shook his head. He stepped closer to Charlie, and his bottom lip wobbled.

Nick hugged Charlie out of no where, and practically collapsed into him. Nick broke down into sobs, which left Charlie sort of confused.

“Hey…Shhh, it’s okay,” Charlie soothed him—rubbing his back. Finally after some time, they pulled away, and Nick was ready to talk.

“Charlie I…I didn’t say it, because, I’m scared that if I do say it…and if you l-leave, I…” Nick can’t even finish his sentence without crying. For once Charlie understands him.

“Nick…” Charlie cupped Nick’s face, “I promise…I’m not going anywhere, and I know this is probably stupid but…” Charlie pauses, he realizes Nick’s the only one who understands him. Charlie just can’t handle to say this next part. 

“I can’t live without you Nick,” Charlie manages to say through his voice cracks. “I love you,” Charlie sobs, and Nick smiles, as a tear streams down his freckled cheek.

“I love you…I love you so, so much,” Nick whispers, but notices Charlie look down. “What?” Nick questions and Charlie looks back up at him, feeling helpless, the voices tells him things like,

Nobody will ever love you.

“You don’t mean that,” Charlie croaks, “I’m completely unlovable,” Charlie chuckles sarcastically, and Nick sighs, because he hates when Charlie thinks these things.

“Charlie…I’m literally so…insanely in love with you,” Nick confesses, and he cups Charlie’s face. But the voices get so, so loud.

You’re fucking unlovable!

“Nick…” Charlie murmurs, and Nick won’t listen to a single doubt about him. Nick knows what he wants, and he wants to be with Charlie forever.

“Charlie…please stop talking,” Nick mutters—leaning in, and finally their lips connect. This is what they’ve dreamt of since day one.

The sound of the rain disappears, and they feel the wetness against their lips, as they move in a slow rhythm. Nick pulls Charlie’s hood off his head—letting his hair get wet. He tangled his fingers in Charlie’s curls. Charlie’s hands we’re placed on Nick’s hips.

This was everything to them. Right here, and right now.

Finally, everything was perfect.

Chapter Text

One Month Later…

9:37 P.M

Everything is perfect…

Nick and Charlie’s lips connect, and Nick giggles into the kiss. Charlie swings his leg over Nick’s lap—straddling him, and Nick grabs his thighs pulling Charlie closer if that’s possible. Charlie has never felt so much sparks before. He loves Nick so much.

They pull away out of breath, and their foreheads collide—panting. Charlie love Nick so, so much, and Nick loves Charlie so, so much. 

“I love you so much,” Nick murmurs, and Charlie smiles—chuckling. He’s never felt this way about any boy before.

”I love you, literally so much,” Charlie says back, and Nick brushes a curl that was blocking Charlie’s face.

Their lips connect, but this time the kiss was kind of sloppy. It was desperate—their mouths open and close. Charlie tangles his fingers in Nick’s hair—lightly tugging, making Nick groan. As they make out they can feel each other breathing.

Charlie pulls away panting, and his hands slide down to the hem of Nick’s shirt. He kind of has an idea where this is going, but he doesn’t care because he wants Charlie so, so bad.

Charlie leans his forehead against Nick’s, trying to catch his breath, ”Can…can I…t-take this…off…please,” Charlie asks breathlessly, and Nick has never felt this desperate before.

”Yeah…” Nick murmurs, and Charlie doesn’t hesitate to lift his shirt up—taking it off. He tosses it on the floor.

Charlie guides Nick on his back slowly, and just stops admiring his incredibly hot boyfriend. He could stare at Nick for hours.

”You are…so…hot,” Charlie says breathlessly, and Nick chuckles. Nick could literally feel himself becoming hard at Charlie’s words.

Charlie’s lips move towards Nick’s neck, and he trails kisses down to his collarbone, and he sucks the soft skin—which Charlie didn’t know was Nick’s soft spot.

”Ah…god,” Nick moan, “Charlie…” He then let’s put a whimper. Charlie didn’t even know he had this type of effect on Nick, and it was addicting.

Nick flips them over so he’s now hovering over Charlie. Nick takes Charlie’s hand and guides it, placing it on his heart. Charlie is unable to do anything.

”Do you feel that?” Nick whispers, and Charlie felt how fast Nick’s heart was beat, and it was fast. It couldn’t have been him, he could never have this effect on someone.

”Darling, this is what you do to me,” Nick says, and Charlie blinks repeatedly, he has to be dreaming, right? But he wasn’t.

Also did Nick just call him darling?

To Charlie’s shock, Nick guided his hand placing it somewhere else, his dick. Charlie could feel through his jeans how hard he was. 

“This it exactly what you do to me,” Nick whispered, and Charlie suddenly removed his hand. He didn’t want to believe it.

”But…No…I-I,” Charlie croaked, and Nick interrupted him, by connecting their lips, and they begin to move at a slow rhythm.

Nick pulled away panting, and his fingers fiddled with the hem of Charlie’s shirt, he was so desperate to have Charlie.

“Can I…take this off?” Nick breathes, and Charlie didn’t know what to say. The voices got to him.

”Um…” Charlie stammered, and Nick sensed immediately that he was uncomfortable. He rolled off of him, and Charlie sat up.

”Sorry,” Nick murmured, and Charlie shook his head. It wasn’t Nick’s fault. Charlie had let his insecurities win.

”No, um…I’m-I’m insecure,” Charlie muttered, and Nick tilted his head confused. Impossible.

”What, insecure? Why you’re so hot,” Nick blurted out, and Charlie hugged his knees to his chest blushing. Charlie just chuckled softly.

Nick tilted his head, “What? What’s so funny?” Nick smiled asking. The truth is he’s not use to being complimented this much.

”It’s just…no one’s ever called me…hot before,” Charlie chuckles, and Nick just scoffs. He finds that extremely hard to believe.

”Baby,” Nick giggled, stroking his cheek. “You are so, so hot,” Nick says, and Charlie blushes even more. Why is he even listening to the voices. It’s literally the sweet names.

Charlie lifts his shirt up, taking it off. Nick just stood it shock, he wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t. Charlie looked down blushing, with his hands on his arms.

”Nick, please…say something,” Charlie begged, and he started to regret his decision, but Nick cupped his face and pressed his lips against Charlie’s forehead.

”God, you’re…so…perfect,” Nick whispered, and Charlie propped himself on his hands and knees.

They connected their lips, and Charlie pecks his lips repeatedly, making Nick stumble back on his elbows. Their mouth open and close once more. Charlie pull’s away panting—hi forehead falls against Nick’s.

Charlie hands move down to the button of Nick’s jeans, and he undoes it. Charlie then pulls down the zipper, and he was about to slide off Nick’s jeans, but to disappointment there was a sudden knock on Nick’s door.

Charlie and Nick both groan, out of annoyance. Charlie rolled off of Nick, and Nick quickly buttoned his jeans. They quickly put their shirts on, and Nick called for his mum to come in.

Sarah waked inside, and she sighed, “Charlie are you staying over?” Sarah asks. He wanted to stay over, but he felt like he was always intruding.

”Um…if-if that’s okay with you,” Charlie asked, and Sarah just smiled softly. Charlie was always worrying about everything.

”Of course sweetheart!” Sarah said, and Charlie smiled at her. “Just don’t stay up too late,” Sarah said, and Charlie nodded. He honestly wishes Sarah was his mum, but life gave him this one. 

”Sorry we didn’t get to finish it, Charlie I really want to have sex with you so bad,” Nick says, and Charlie blushes. Nick wants To have sex with Charlie, but he wants their first time to be special.

”It’s okay Nick,” Charlie says, and they didn’t have to have sex, and that was more than okay.

They got ready for bed and laid down. Nick was spooning Charlie. How could something so good happen to Charlie? It’s impossible. The rest of the night it was on both their minds. 

Nick and Charlie almost had sex—they would’ve had sex if Sarah didn’t interrupt them. They couldn’t explain how bad they want each other.

–

The next day, Nick had agreed to go to and hang out at park with Charlie and his friends, so he brought Nellie with him. Elle and Tao were off playing with Nellie, while Charlie and Nick are laying on the picnic blanket.

Charlie lays his head on Nick’s chest, Nick drapes his arm around Charlie, his arm is around Nick’s torso. 

“You’re friends are nice,” Nick blurted out, and Charlie smiled —he was happy to hear Nick was actually connecting with them.

”Yeah…Elle’s a sweetheart, but Tao can be a little…stubborn,” Charlie explained, and Nick agreed with him. It was sort of true.

”Yeah…I sort of got that impression,” Nick said, and they laid there as the light wind hit them. The breeze was refreshing.

They laid there in silence, until Charlie sat up a little—hovering over Nick. He placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Charlie pulled away but Nick grabbed his face bringing it back down to connect their lips. 

“Mmph…I love you,” Charlie mumbled against Nick’s lips, and Nick pulled away colliding their foreheads. Charlie breathed in Nick’s scent. 

“I love you more…” Nick murmured—stroking Charlie’s cheek, and Charlie gave a breathless smile.

They both sat up crisscrossed—across from each other. Nick took Charlie’s hands in his—stroking the back of them.

Nick sighed, “I want to take you on a date,” as soon as Nick mentioned the word date Charlie was listening. Nick already knew what he wanted to do for their date 

Charlie tried to keep it casual, “yeah?” Inside he was literally squealing. Nick smiled—nodding.

”Yeah,” Nick said agreed, and Charlie couldn’t believe it. Tao and Elle came back interrupting their moment—Charlie and Nick pulled away.

”You’re dog is amazing Nick,” Tao said, and Nick chuckled. Tao sat down, and Elle sat beside him.

”I am officially in love with Nellie,” Elle says, and they just began chatting the rest of the day about random stuff.

—

Nick and Charlie are hanging out at the beach—their laying down on their backs, on the towel Nick had brought. The sky it pitch dark, and the stars are out. Charlie needed to ask about yesterday night or he was actually going to lose his mind.

”Nick, remember yesterday day night when we almost had…y-you know?” Charlie asked, and of course Nick remembered that night. It was on his mind all day.

”Yeah…what about it?” Nick asked, Charlie who is feeling self conscious just needs a clarification.

”Did you really mean it…w-when you said I looked…perfect,” Charlie asked, and Nick sighed—he hates when Charlie’s mean to himself. 

Nick sat up, which made Charlie sit up. They both sat crisscrossed, across from each other—their faces inches away. Nick grabbed the hem of Charlie’s shirt, and lifted it up—taking it off. Nick smiled at the sight of his shirtless boyfriend.

Nick gave a breathless huff, “Charlie…every single inch of you is…so perfect,” Nick breathlessly says, as he trails his fingers all over Charlie’s body. They trail over Charlie’s scars.

They were lucky no one ever comes to the beach at night. That’s why Charlie choose it, because he likes the peace.

“Charlie…you have no idea how bad I want you,” Nick whispers, and a shade of light pink appears on Charlie’s cheeks. The way he makes him feel.

–

Nick had walked Charlie home, and they were now standing on Charlie’s front porch. Nick took Charlie’s hands in his—stroking the back of it. They both lean in connecting their lips, and Nick expected it to be just a peck, so he was about to pull away, but Charlie leaned in further—chasing for another kiss. They finally pull way allowing their foreheads to collide.

”I love you,” Charlie murmurs, and Nick smiles—breathing in his scent. The soft warm light glows on them, like a spotlight.

”I love you,” Nick says, and Charlie giggles softly. They finally let go, and Charlie go inside his house.

–

Charlie walked inside, but something wasn’t right. He walked into the kitchen and his mum was crying. She looked really sad.

”Charlie…c-can we talk?” Jane croaked, but Charlie honestly wanted to go to bed. He didn’t want to be rude though, so he sat down.

”I know I can be tough on you, and I know I get mad at you for spending time with Nick all the time, but…” Jane paused, and everything she’s saying is correct.

”I just miss how things use to be,” Jane said, and Charlie felt bad. But he just wanted his parents to understand him. 

“Yeah, a-and I get that, but I’m a teenager, and I’m going to have boyfriend,” Charlie explained, and his mum stayed silent for a few before finally sighing.

”Can we just make a compromise,” Jane asked, and Charlie thought about it. Maybe this will be good.

”Fine,” Charlie sighed—giving in. He did sort of miss hanging out here. Jane felt relieved to here that answer.

”What if you spend, school days at home then you can spend the weekends at Nick’s, and you can even spend the night,” Jane asked, at least Charlie will still get to spend time with Nick at school. Maybe this is good for him.

”Yeah…okay,” Charlie agreed, and his mum was happy at that response. It also meant he could spend more time with Tori and Oliver.

Maybe Charlie was a little too mean to his mum. She can be nice, (when she wants to.) But he still hates how his dad agrees to everything his mum says. 

Chapter Text

[Truham Grammar]

Charlie was walking down the corridor, when suddenly a strange hand pulls him into an empty classroom, and slams him against the shelf roughly. It’s Nick. He grabs Charlie’s face, pressing his lips on Charlie’s, which he grabs Nick’s hips—pulling him closer.

“Mmphff…You–look–so hot,” Nick says in between sloppy kisses. Charlie giggles into Nick’s lips—giving him one more chase kiss, before pulling away.

”Um, I wear the school uniform everyday!” Charlie says, with a smile.  Nick’s hands slide down to Charlie’s shoulder’s, and he rubs them up and down.

”Yeah, and you always look hot,” Nick smirks, making Charlie blush. He cups Nick’s face, and connects their lips again—Charlie giggling into Nick’s lips.

–

It was lunch time, so Charlie and Tao sat together on the picnic bench as normal. Charlie wasn’t even paying attention, he was giggling at something on his phone—it was obvious it was Nick texting.

Charlie.

He had texted Nick, “Ugh, I miss you so much!” And luckily, Nick read the text fast.

Charlie. 

Nick responded, “Nah, I just miss you’re body,” Charlie giggled, he knew Nick was joking though.

Char-Char!

Charlie typed away finally resulting, “Um! Rude! I should’ve known you didn’t actually like me!” Nick smiled at the text, but his smile soon turned into a smirk.

Charlieeeee…

Charlie’s phone dinged, “You’re right I don’t like you,” Nick replied, and this scared Charlie, he maybe started to think he wasn’t joking.

Charlie. Charlie.

Charlie pressed send—all it saying is, “???” But all Nick did was smile.

Charlister…

”I love you!” Nick replied, and Charlie felt so relieved, to hear that.

Charlie!

What was he thinking? Nick would never saying anything like that. He’s not like the other boys. Nick loves—

“CHARLIE!!!” Tao yells, and Charlie snaps out of his thoughts. Oh. Right. He was at lunch. With Tao.

”Yeah! Sorry! What! You’re going to fuck who? Elle?” Charlie stammers, going way off topic. All Tao can really do is gag, because that’s disgusting.

”What!? Ew! Gross Charlie! I wasn’t talking about…that,” Tao says, but clearly his face is going red. Charlie tilts his head confused on what Tao was actually talking about.

”Are you seriously texting Nick?” Tao asked, smirking, and raising an eyebrow—giving an obvious look.

”Yeah, a few days ago while we were at the park…he kind of…asked me out,” Charlie says in a shy tone, and Tao’s protectiveness was activated. Although, he had to admit, he was a little happy for his best friend.

If Charlie’s happy, Tao’s happy.

”Congrats…” Tao rolled his eyes smirking, he gave in, to being happy for Charlie—which made Charlie happy.

–

The next day, Charlie and Tori were hanging out, and Charlie was cuddled into her side as they watched YouTube shorts on her laptop. He hadn’t laughed this much with Tori in a while, and it felt great. Suddenly Tori paused the video.

”So…what has Nick done now,” Tori asked, and Charlie looked confused. Is he that obvious now?

”Come on Charles, you don’t just come home grinning like you’ve been possessed by smile for no reason,” Tori says teasingly, Charlie chuckles. Why is his sister so wise?

”Well I mean…Nick sort of did ask me out,” Charlie said nervously. Tori was happy her brother was happy. Her and Tao kind of are the same, because their both protective.

”Cool…I’m happy for you…I haven’t seen you this happy in a while,” Tori says, she knows her brother too well. Charlie can fool anyone but her—and possibly Nick.

”Yeah,” He murmurs, and they get interrupted by a seven-year-old, barges in—interrupting them.

”Tori, Charlie! Can we play Mario Cart?” Oliver asks, and Tori and Charlie glance at each other, before facing Oliver and smiling—nodding.

–

Another day goes by, Charlie feels like this whole week is going by really slow. He was lying on his bed over the covers, and had decided to FaceTime Nick. Luckily, he answers, and his beautiful face pops up, with that smile that Charlie feel in love with.

”Hey,” Charlie murmurs, laying on his side—looking softly at Nick—who looks confused why Charlie called him.

”Hi? W-why did you call, I-I thought it was your week with your family?” Nick asked, and all Charlie could do was let out a shaky sigh.

”Y-yeah, but, I just…I missed you,” Charlie says, and Nick’s face softens, but he only just saw Charlie at school five hours ago.

”I just saw you at school today, darling,” Nick chuckled, and Charlie lightly smiled. Charlie loved when Nick calls him, darling, it melts his heart.

”No Nick, I just…I miss the way you touch me,” Charlie says, and Nick’s heart melts. Charlie wished he was here. Nick’s had also noticed the tint of sadness in his voice.

”Well, we have only two more days, and then you can have my touch,” Nick says trying to make Charlie look on the bright side. It was sort of working.

”I…I can’t wait,” Charlie smiles softly, “well, I better go,” Charlie says, and on the other line Nick bites his bottom lip, smirking.

”Yeah, um…I love you, so much,” Nick murmurs, and that weird cozy stomach feeling returns to Charlie.

“I love you,” Charlie softly says, and it was so hard to finally hang up, but he managed to do it.

At least, he still got to see Nick at school,  and they still got to make out. He was looking forward to Saturday. He was sort of scared what Nick had planned for him.

–

Finally it’s Friday, the last day, before Charlie’s date with Nick. Charlie was hanging out with just Elle at his house, because Tao couldn’t come. They were sitting on Charlie’s bed.

”How are you and Nick? I heard he asked you out,” Elle blurted out, Charlie looked up at her. 

“Um…yeah—yeah he did,” Charlie smiled dreamily, “would you say I’m crazy if I said I want to be with Nick for the rest of my life?” Charlie lingered out words, and Elle raised her eyebrows looking shocked. She wasn’t expecting this.

”Wow…okay…maybe a little, but—I kind of see where you’re coming from,” Elle’s stammered, she noticed Charlie’s smile fade away, so she placed her hand on top of his.

”You know why I do see?” Elle asked, and Charlie looks up at her—shaking his head. Elle sighs.

”Because, you’re happy and I can tell when two people are meant for each other,” Elle explains, and Charlie looks back down as a million thoughts are exploding inside his brain.

”At first I didn’t think soulmates existed when you told me, but now I can see how y’all are soulmates,” Elle lightly squeezes Charlie’s hand, and his face jerks up—meeting Elle’s eyes. Charlie let’s out a light chuckle.

”I-I was just saying that as a metaphor…soulmates can’t actually exist,” Charlie says, and Elle gives this expression that says, well…

”Maybe but…you two create a pretty convincing argument,” Elle admitted, Charlie thought for a moment. Maybe Elle was right.

–

Finally it’s Saturday, and Charlie made it to the beach, where Nick told him to go. As soon as he spotted Nick, he ran and jumped into his arms—clinging his legs around his waist, and hands on his shoulders. At last their foreheads collided. Okay, maybe it’s a bit dramatic to say they feel like they haven’t seen each other in ages, when they literally see each other at school.

Nick set Charlie down, and supported his waist with an arm. Nick placed a hand over his eyes, blinding him, and they approached where Nick had set everything up. Nick stopped and moved behind Charlie, placing his other hand other his eyes, leaning in.

”Ready?” Nick whispered against Charlie’s ear, and he bit his bottom lip—smirking, and nodded yes.

Nick removed his hands revealing, a gazebo with a radio on the ground, and there were string lights around the roof that created a warm glow as the rest of the beach was dark. There were lots of candles spreaded around the small area. His eyes landed on rose petals and candles leading to a picnic laid out on the sand. 

Charlie gave a breathless sigh, “Nick…” he murmured, and Nick smiled. No one has ever done something this special for him, and Charlie loves Nick for that.

Charlie turns around to face Nick, “I love you,” Charlie said and the soft crack in his voice being noticeable. Nick grins, he wants their first date to be memorable.

They finally got situated, with Nick laying on his side, but propped up on his elbow, and Charlie sitting up crisscrossed. Nick swore he couldn’t stop staring at him. He thought it was adorable when Charlie got chocolate on his face from eating a chocolate covered strawberry. 

Nick chuckled, reaching out. He wiped the chocolate off of Charlie’s face. Charlie blushed at Nick’s touch, but finding it comforting. This was literally Charlie’s dream date, Nick was Charlie’s dream boyfriend. He kept telling himself that he would wake up from this dream, but he never did.

”It’s almost like…you’re obsessed with me,” Charlie teased, and Nick let out  boyish laugh—the laugh that melts his heart. Okay, Nick had to admit.

”Maybe, a little,” Nick muttered, smirking, and gazing into Charlie’s eyes. Charlie picked up another chocolate covered strawberry. 

“Have you even tried the strawberries?” Charlie asked, and Nick snapped out of his gaze. Funny he’s the one who made them and haven’t even tasted it.

“Um…I have not, actually…” Nick admits, the rest of his sentence getting muffled by Charlie shoving a strawberry in his mouth.

Nick took a bite—chewing it. After realization it tastes delicious. For once he’s proud of something he made.

“Mmh…” Nick hummed, and Charlie made a face that says, I told you so. Maybe he should listen to Charlie for now on.

After Nick swallows, he set the picnic basket aside—out of the way. Nick sits up with his legs in front of him, slightly bent. He fishes in his pocket for something, only to pull out a golden flat ring. Was he going to propose?

“I wanted to give you a promise ring… because, I-I think I want to be with you forever,” Nick starts, and he slides the ring on Charlie’s finger. Charlie’s on the urge of crying.

”Remember, when you told me…you couldn’t live without me?” Nick asks, Charlie remembers that day. It’s the day the first said, I love you.

”Um, yeah, of course I do,” Charlie said in a soft tone. Nick sort of struggles to find the right words.

”The truth is…I don’t think…I could ever live without you,” Nick sighs, “Baby, I…am so…in love with you,” Nick confesses, Charlie closes his eyes to release a tear. Is Nick even real.

”I love you,” Charlie whimpers, before hugging him—which knocks Nick down, and Charlie falls on top of him never breaking the hug.

Charlie cups Nick’s face and smothers him with kisses everywhere on his face. Nick giggles uncontrollably, and Charlie hugs him tightly one last time, before rolling off of him. Nick stands up reaching out a hand.

”Wanna dance?” Nick says, and Charlie smiles taking his hand—which Nick assumes that meant yes.

Nick leads him up the steps of the gazebo, he press the play button on the radio which played a slow song. Nick had his arms around Charlie’s waist, and chin resting on his shoulder as Charlie had his arms wrapped around Nick’s neck, and buried his head into his shoulder.

They swayed slowly to the music, matching the rhythm of the song. Tears appeared in both their eyes, because they never felt this way about anyone. It was rare for Nick to cry though.

–

As soon as the entered Nick’s bedroom, and locked the door, Charlie didn’t wait a second before slamming Nick against the door—connecting their lips. Charlie’s hands found it’s way to the back of Nick’s neck, and Nick pulled Charlie’s hips closer to him, before they made out sloppily. Nick’s hands slid down to the back of Charlie’s thighs, and he lifted him up—Charlie wrapping his legs around Nick’s waist, as his hands slid down to his shoulders.

They break the kiss as their foreheads collides, and Nick carries Charlie to the bed and sets him down on his back. Charlie yanks Nick’s shirt off, and undoes his belt, unbuttoning and unzips his jean’s. Charlie’s hands slide beneath the waistband of Nick’s jean’s. Nick is holding himself up using his elbows, as he’s hovering over Charlie. Charlie rolls Nick’s hips, as Nick grinds slowly against him—desperate for friction. Breathless moans leave their mouth.

Charlie pulls down Nick’s jean’s and boxers, and his eyes widened at the sight of Nick completely naked. This is his boyfriend. This is the person he’s dating. This has to be impossible. 

“Woah…” Charlie murmurs, he’s completely speechless, lost for words. It only makes him fall more, and more in love with Nick.

Nick chuckles, “Yeah…” Nick murmurs, he has never quiet been insecure about himself, but he’s not saying he’s proud of his body either.

It’s now Charlie’s turn to get undressed, so Nick slides Charlie’s shirt off, because Charlie now trusts Nick. He then unbuttons and unzips his jeans—sliding them off with his boxers. He can’t help but stare, and smile. 

“You are…so perfect,” Nick says, and Charlie gives a breathless smile. No one has ever made him feel this way.

Their lips connect, and Nick starts o slow by going down on Charlie. He couldn’t help but moan into Nick’s mouth. 

They break the kiss, “Ah…N-Nick…please…harder,” Charlie let out a bunch of breathless moans and whimpers. Charlie’s fingers are literally digging into Nick’s back.

Nick increases the pressure thrusting into him, ”o-oh, Nick…oh my god,” Charlie groans, before they connect their lips—the kiss being slow, but desperate.

Charlie pulls away, letting his eyes roll to the back of his head, “Oh my god…fuck…I’m so close Nick…” Charlie moans, the pressure building up in inside of him, Nick sighs.

”It’s okay…just let go,” Nick murmurs, and Charlie nods biting his bottom lip. Nick grabs Charlie’s wrists of his back, and places them above his head, intertwining their fingers. 

Charlie squeezes Nick’s hand as he goes down on him one last time, before Charlie comes. Nick pulls out of him, rolling off of him, allowing Charlie to catch his breath. Charlie collapses against Nick’s chest, and Nick strokes his hair.

“Wow…that was…perfect,” Charlie says, how could anyone make him feel this good? He doesn’t deserve it.

”Yeah…” Nick murmurs,  before hugging Charlie tighter. They have this sudden feeling like everything’s going to be alright.

After they get dressed and cleaned up, they lay down. Charlie is cuddled into Nick’s chest, and Nick kisses the top of his head, rubbing his back.

”I love you,” Charlie says so soft, filled with affection. Nick smiles softly, knowing he made a promise to always love Charlie.

”I love you, more,” Nick murmurs, still trying to catch his breath after what just happened.

And they know that everything is going to be alright…

Chapter Text

[Nick’s House]

Nick’s eyes open, because he felt Charlie shifting so much on his chest. Nick smiled at Charlie making the cutest grumbling noise as he opened his eyes. Somehow Charlie woke up with the biggest headache, and his throat was sore. It’s obvious he’s sick.

”Nick…” Charlie croaked, sliding off Nick, and smiling weakly. Nick smiles at his cute boyfriend.

”Hi…” Nick murmurs, before kissing the tip of his nose. Charlie let’s out a sigh. He wants to wake up like this everyday.

”Hi…” Charlie replies back, on the urge of falling back asleep. Charlie is not a morning person. Nick notices the change in Charlie’s voice, like he’s about to lose it.

Nick pushed the comforter off of them, before, sitting up, ”Hey, why don’t you sit up real quick,” Nick asks in a soft tone, Charlie gives a confused look, unsure what he’s piecing together.

Charlie sits up, pulling his knees to his chest, and Nick reaches a hand out—moving his fringe out of the way, before placing a hand on Charlie’s forehead. His head feels weirdly warm—which makes Nick concern.

”Do you…feel ill?” Nick asks, tilting his head. Charlie looks down, then back up at Nick—nodding his head; yes.

”Kind of…my head really hurts, and-and my throat feels sore, and I…I,” Charlie start struggling to breathe, and Nick rubs his thigh up and down.

”Hey…breathe, okay?” Nick whispers, and Charlie nods catching his breath. Nick tangles his fingers in Charlie’s hair, and kisses his forehead. 

“I’m going to go get you some medicine, meanwhile, you get some rest,” Nick says, before Charlie lays down, and Nick pulls the covers over him. He gets off the bed and exits his room.

–

Nick sees his mum in the kitchen, making some breakfast. She smiles when she sees Nick. She seems to be making French toast which is Nick’s favorite.

”Morning,” Nick murmurs as he walks past her opening the medicine cabinet, searching for some Paracetamol.

”Do you feel ill?” Sarah asked, because she mistook Nick or feeling ill, as because he’s the one grabbing Paracetamol.

”Um no…Charlie’s—not feeling very well,” Nick said, and his mum nodded. Nick opened the bottle, grabbing a pill. He filled a glass of water, before leaving the kitchen.

–

Nick entered his room, and he smiled at the sight of Charlie sleeping. He sat on the edge of his bed, and brushed Charlie’s fringe, which made him flutter his eyes open.

“Hey, love,” Nick whispered, and Charlie sat up, before taking the glass of water to swallow his pill.

Nick laid down, and opened his arms for Charlie to cuddle into his chest. Nick hugged him tightly. Nick hadn’t expected to spend their last day sleeping the whole day, but he’ll do it if it means being with Charlie.

–

Tao somehow ended up at Nick’s house, well they went to Charlie’s first, because he wasn’t responding to any of his text, and he’s not at his house so he has to be at Nick’s house. Elle was basically forced to come with, she wasn’t to sure about this idea.

”Tao we’re basically breaking in entering,” Elle alerted, but Tao only scoff—he’s so done with Elle’s silly bickering. He was only worried about Charlie, his assumptions being ridiculous.

”Elle, soon you’ll be thanking me, if we find Charlie dead on the floor murdered by, rugby lad Nick Nelson,” Tao said annoyed, and Elle rolled her eyes at Tao’s ridiculous statement.

”Tao! Nick didn’t murder Charlie!” Elle exclaimed, Tao just ignored her and climbed up the tree making it to Nick’s window, and Elle had no choice but to follow him.

Tao, stumbled through Nick’s window—which alerted him, he looked so confused why Tao of of all people was inside his room, and Elle.

”Why hasn’t he been answering our text, it’s the afternoon?” Tao says in a harsh voice, that almost makes Nick nervous. Elle couldn’t help, but be in awe at Charlie hugging Nick like he’s making sure he won’t disappear.

”Uh, he’s sort of sick,” Nick admits, and that’s when Tao feels completely embarrassed. He shouldn’t have came here in the first place.

”Oh, um,” Tao stutters unable to find words, me Nick feels bad for Tao being embarrassed.

”Uh-uh, y-you guys should stay,” Nick offers, and Elle nods, as Tao smiles thankful for Nick, maybe he was wrong about him.

Charlie stirs, “Tao, Elle, what are y’all doing here,” Charlie croaks, and Nick strokes his hair as he sits up. Tao was about to say something but Nick beat him to it.

”Uh- I invited them over a few days ago, I-I was wondering if we could watch a movie,” Nick covered for Tao, which made him smile softly—thankful for Nick. Charlie bites his lip. 

“I wouldn’t want to get you guys sick,” Charlie chuckles, and Tao rolls his eyes. He feels very betrayed right now, and Elle just thinks it’s funny the way he reacting.

”What about Nick?!” Tao points towards Nick—stating the obvious. Charlie let’s out a sarcastic chuckle.

”Nick’s my boyfriend, he’s aloud to take care of me,” Charlie says, giving an innocent look. Tao smirked—crossing his arms.

After a while they all find themselves curled up on the sofa. Tao and Elle cuddling on the opposite side, everyone knows they fancy each other, but their too oblivious. Nick has his arm around Charlie, as he’s cuddled into Nick’s side.

They became out of popcorn, so Tao and Elle offered to get some more. After they’re gone, Nick looks at Charlie.

”Do Tao and Elle fancy each other?” Nick asks out of curiosity. Charlie smiles already knowing the answer.

”They do, but they’re totally oblivious,” Charlie says, and all Nick can do is hum. Nick then smirks.

”Kind of like you,” Nick teases, which makes Charlie raises an eyebrow—pulling away from Nick, and leaning against the arm of the couch. His knees to his chest, as he crossed his arms

”Rude!” Charlie dramatically scoffs, and Nick let’s out a soft chuckle.  

“Oh come on, you know you love it,” Nick teases, and Charlie hides his blush by covering his face.

”I-I do not!” Charlie defends himself, and Nick gives a flirtatious look.

”Oh yeah?” Nick asks, leaning in closer, only to tickle his sides. Charlie jolts, and breaks into laughter—squirming beneath Nick.

”N-Nick…stop it!” Charlie giggles, and Nick pauses to look at him—hovering over him. Charlie gives the most adorable pout, which makes Nick chuckle softly.

Nick puts Charlie’s chin in between his fingers, “you know I can’t say no to that adorable little pout,” Nick says—mumbling the rest against Charlie’s lips, Charlie giggles into Nick’s mouth.

Nick’s hand moves to cup Charlie’s cheek, and their lips move against each other slowly for a few, before pulling away. They look each other in the eyes, and all they could think is how much they love each other.

”I love you, so much…” Nick whispers, tears almost forming in his eyes. Charlie smiles.

”I love you, I’m so glad I met you,” Charlie says softly, and a Nick-ish smile forms on his face.

“Me too…” Nick murmurs, with the slightest voice crack. Tao and Elle finally came back with popcorn, and they spent the rest of the day watching the movie.

–

The next day at school, Nick and Charlie walk hand in hand down the corridor, but suddenly, someone steps in their way. Charlie’s eyes widened in fear, because the person who was standing in front of him was; Ben Hope.

“Charlie,” Ben murmurs, “I moved back, um England,” Ben said in a confident voice, and Charlie’s worst nightmare came true. Why couldn’t he just leave Charlie alone?

“I…can’t,” Charlie whimpers, and it leaves Nick confused when he pulls away from him walking off. Nick worries and runs after him.

”Charlie, hold on,” Nick calls out, and follows Charlie into the empty art room. Charlie suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

Nick runs over to him, and before Charlie collapses Nick catches him, and he lowers Charlie on the ground. Charlie’s chest becomes tight—it feels like something’s blocking his breath, and he’s gasping for air. Nick remembers the time Charlie had a panic attack in his room. Nick places his hand on Charlie’s heart, and Charlie’s hand on his heart. 

“Shh…Charlie…just breath for me, okay,” Nick whispers, but all Charlie could do was give a weak nod as he continues to wheeze.

Charlie’s chest finally un-tightens, and he takes a moment to catch his breath. He lets out a shaky sigh.

”Sorry,” Charlie murmurs, and Nick shakes his head, because he hates when Charlie says the 'S' word.

”Hey, no,” Nick whispers, reaching a hand out to cup Charlie’s face—stroking his damp cheek as he sheds a tear.

Just seeing Charlie’s face made Nick start to tear up. He sat beside Charlie, and pulled him into a hug. 

“I might just skip form, but I’ll be fine by myself…I don’t want you to be late,” Charlie insisted, but Nick shakes his head. He let’s out a comforting sigh.

”No…no, I don’t mind skipping,” Nick softly says, making Charlie smile as Nick hugs him tighter.

”But Charlie…you have to talk to me,” Nick whispers—giving Charlie a concerned look. Of course he’s worried.

Charlie sighed, “Ben, that guy we saw…he and I use to go out, until…he…” Charlie struggled to get the words out, “r-raped me,” He whimpered, before meeting Nick’s eyes.

”I hate him so much, I literally swear I’ll punch him if he ever comes near you again,” Nick confirmed, anger boiling up inside him. He hated Ben. But Charlie had admit, Nick being protective was so attractive.

He loved how Nick took care of him, how protective he was. With Nick, Charlie felt safe.

–

Charlie was in his room playing on his Nintendo switch, until his mum interrupts him. Charlie sets his Nintendo down, and looks up with confusion. Jane steps inside, crossing her arms.

”You we’re absent in form today,” Jane confirms, and Charlie looks down, as Jane continues to give the mother look.

”Uh…yeah, bad, bad day,” Charlie stammers running a hand through his hair. Jane sighs.

”It doesn’t matter, you still have to go to class,” Jane argues, and Charlie wants to roll his eyes, but instead he rolls them mentally. Luckily, Jane leaves his room.

Charlie got up and exited his room making his way to Tori’s room. He stood there in silence, and Tori looked up at him.

”I told Nick…” Charlie started, “a-about Ben,” Charlie said nervously, and Tori’s face softened. She patted a spot next to her, and Charlie approached her, cuddling into Tori’s chest.

He was lucky to have a sister like her.

–

Truham - Grammar

Two days go by, which landed on Wednesday – at Truham Charlie was setting his drums sticks back in his locker. He shut the door, only to spot Nick behind it, leaning against the locker next to his. Charlie flinched a tiny bit – he relaxed as soon as he saw Nick.

Nick looks confused, ”Y-you…okay?” He whispers so soft, so no one could hear him. Charlie didn’t seem to hear Nick, as his head was down.

Nick reached out a finger – tilting Charlie’s chin up to meet his eyes, “Char…” Nick asked one last time, but Charlie just gave a soft smile, and nodded quickly.

Nick pulls away, ”Yeah…o-of course…I’m fine,” Charlie stutters, but Nick knows Charlie doesn’t want to burden him. Is it weird he knows Charlie better than anyone?

Nick shoves his hands in his pockets, and gives him a lopsided smile, giving the; You sure about that, look.

”You sure?” Nick asks again, and this just irritates Charlie even more. Charlie walks closer to Nick – grabbing his hands, before kissing his lips softly.

Charlie pulls away, “I’m fine,” He reassured more calmly, “I’ll see you later, I love you,” Charlie says – he walks off before Nick has a chance to say it back, and it left Nick confused. 

Now that Nick knew Charlie’s secret, he was worried for him – but it didn’t help that Charlie wasn’t talking to him. Nick gets that he’s afraid to be a burden, but it’s worst to bottle everything up.

Nick does try his best though.

Chapter Text

| Truham - Grammar |

It. Was. So. Hot. It was maybe, 86°, and Nick unfortunately had rugby practice. His hair was damp, his close were dirty, and all he was think of taking is a nice cold shower – also he missed his boyfriend. 

Meanwhile, Coach Singh, came back – she was impressed with how good Nick is at rugby. He never really got to show off his skills at his old school, because with how bad their rugby team was.

”Nick!” She yelled, from across the field, approaching him. Nick looked up – as he held a rugby ball under his armpit.

”Why don’t you meet me in my office practice, okay?” Singh asked. Nick scrunched his nose, looking curious. What if he gets kicked off the team?

”Yeah, okay,” He murmurs, and Singh pats him on the shoulder, before walking off. Well that was weird…

–

Nick peeks in Coach Singh’s office – she looks up and notices him, so she gives a soft smile. She motions for him to take a seat. Nick chooses the chair in front of her. Singh is eating a salad, since she’s on her lunch break.

She places her salad down, “So, I’ve seen you play rugby with the boys, and I have to admit you’re really good,” She explains, Nick feels flattered – but he honestly doesn’t think that good of himself.

”Uh, yeah I, played – at my old school,” Nick confesses, Singh’s face lights up. She then lets out a sigh.

”Well I’d think you make a good team captain,” She says, and Nick’s eyebrows shoot up. Is she being for real – team captain?

”S-seriously?!” Nick exclaims, she nods smiling. Nick was surprised – with a mix of confusion. 

“Uh, wow, thanks Miss,” Nick stammers, before getting his stuff, and exits her office.

–

In the art room was Charlie, sitting in the corner – against the cabinet, with his knees tucked to his chest, and head buried. He wasn’t crying, but he did have a lot on his mind.

Suddenly a hand startled him – making him flinch. He looked up to see Nick, who was crouched down in front of him. Charlie smiled softly at Nick – which he settled beside him, wrapping an arm around Charlie – allowing him to cuddle into Nick’s chest.

”You good?” Nick asked – I think that gave him an idea when Charlie sighed.

”Yeah…I just…I have a lot on my mind right now,” Charlie confessed – fiddling with his fingers. Nick knows he’s scared of being a burden – that’s why he hides a lot.

”Do you…want to talk about it?,” Nick queries – Charlie thinks about telling him, but there’s really not that much to tell.

”It’s really nothing…it’s just…with Ben being back…it’s been a lot,” He explains, “I’ve been more…jumpy, I guess,” Nick sort of understands where he’s coming for, Charlie was raped, what did he expect?

”You know, I won’t let him touch you right? I promise,” Nick says in a stern voice, but Charlie rolls his eyes. He’s trying not to get frustrated.

”Nick…don’t make promise’s you can’t keep,” He spoke in an annoyed, sort of irritated tone. This confuses Nick though.

”What?” He murmurs, mystified. Charlie swallows, trying not to hurt Nick’s feelings.

”I was alone…he locked me in a room…no one could hear us,” Charlie tried to get Nick to understand. This only created silence between them. Charlie only wanted to talk about anything but this.

”So…how was rugby?” Charlie changed the subject. Nick knew what he was doing, but he decided to play along.

”I uh…Coach made me team captain,” Nick confessed, Charlie turns to him – their eyes meet.

”Nick, that’s amazing,” Charlie said – making Nick giggle. It really wasn’t a big deal for him though.

“Thanks,” Nick murmured – Charlie smiled lightly, but visible enough for his dimples that Nick adores.

”I love your smile,” Nick blurted out randomly, making Charlie scrunch his nose in confusion.

”Every time you smile, those adorable dimples show,” Nick pokes Charlie’s cheek – making him giggle, pushing his hand away.

Nick giggles, “Shut up…” Charlie groans – covering his face, because an embarrassing blush appeared. 

“Oh, am I making you blush,” Nick teases – holding Charlie’s wrist, guiding it away from his face. 

Charlie rolls his head towards Nick – giving him a look that says, is that even a question? Nick’s the only one who could have an effect on Charlie.

”Nick, you know you’re the only one who can make me blush, right?” Charlie assures Nick’s – making his face soften. It’s like they could just look at each other  and smile.

They lean in closing the gap between these two boys. The kiss is slow and gentle – as their lips dance to an invisible rhythm. Charlie deepen the kiss – shifting up a tiny bit, before placing his cold hand on Nick’s cheek – while Nick’s free hand moves to Charlie’s waist. 

Suddenly, they get interrupted by a long and very loud beeping noise – they jolt apart. Lunch was over. Nick got up only to turn around – offering Charlie a hand, which he obviously took.

––

| Tao’s - House |

One Week Later…

Charlie’s parents were away for a business trip for the whole week, so he had to so he had to crash at Tao’s. It wasn’t fair Tori got to go stay by herself looking after Oliver. At least, playing Uno would distract him.

An 'add four card' is placed down – Charlie changing the color to blue. Tao groans, he wants to win for once, but it’s like Charlie’s good at everything. Tao shake’s off the guilty feeling, and places a blue seven down. Charlie finally puts his last card on the stack, giggling. He won as usual.

Tao groans, “you always win,” he complains, but Charlie just smirks raising his eyebrow. 

“Maybe you’re just bad,” Charlie jokes, and before he knows it a pillow comes flying at him – hitting him in the face.

Half an hour later, they’re in Tao’s bed under the covers. They’re talking about random stuff, but Charlie decides to tell him about what happened between Nick and him.

”So…Nick and I…we kind of had…sex,” Charlie confesses – as his face is red from blushing. Tao becomes annoyed because all Charlie does is ramble about Nick. 

It’s always; Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick! Even the name makes Tao physically ill.

”Cool…” Tao mutters, which left Charlie confused – he doesn’t get why Tao’s acting annoyed.

Charlie sits up, “What’s your problem?” He complains, and Tao rolls his eyes, sitting up also.

“It’s just, I’ve never heard you not talk about Nick,” Tao complains, but all Charlie could do is chuckle sarcastically.

”Oh my god, you’re being dramatic,” Charlie mutters, making Tao raise an eyebrow. Is it really that serious?

“It’s like you forgot about us, you spend all your time with Nick!” Tao yells, a thin Lin forms on Charlie’s mouth. Usually, he runs away from the problems.

“Yeah…I’m not doing this,” Charlie gets off the bed, “since everything’s about Nick, why don’t I spend the night with him instead,” he turns away, leaving before Tao has a chance to say anything. It’s not like he cares though.

––

| Nick’s House |

 Suddenly, Nick’s doorbell rings, but instead of Nick answering – Sarah does, and she smiles as soon as her eyes land on Charlie. It’s kind of awkward for him standing there though.

“Hello, dear,” She greets, inviting the boy inside. Charlie gives her a smile in return.

”Um…is…is Nick here?” Charlie asks – he felt rude for not saying hello or something. He couldn’t help it though.

”He’s upstairs…he might be asleep though, it’s awful late isn’t it?” Of course, she was going to be confused, it’s 11 P.M.

”I-I was actually wondering if I could stay the night?” Charlie asked nervously. Sarah thought for a moment – the poor boy looked so sad. 

“Okay,” Sarah murmured, making Charlie give a soft smile. She really hasn’t seen Nick this happy since the divorce.

Charlie made his way upstairs – he knocked on Nick’s door. He soon hear him invite him in, and Nick didn’t expect to see Charlie. As soon as he saw a single tear stream down his cheeks – he got up, rushing towards his – pulling him into a tight embrace.

”I-I just wanna die s-so, so badly, b-because I fuck up every single good thing that happens to m-me!” Loud sobs escape Charlie – Nick guides Charlie down on the floor, as Charlie sobs in his chest.

It’s like getting stabbed with a knife, hearing Charlie saying he wants to die. Hearing Charlie cry like this is hurtful – it hurts so much that Nick even manages to get a few tears out.

Nick didn’t know what to do, “Shh…you’re okay…I’m right here…” all he could do was just hold him – telling him everything’s going to be alright.

It takes about ten minutes for Charlie to get calmed down, and Nick just hugs him in silence stroking his hair.

Nick finally tilts Charlie’s chin up – his eyes meet Nick’s. It made him sort of angry – angry at the world for making him this way – angry at him for wanting to die. Does he not understand, that Nick would literally die for him? Does he not get that he is the only person who could make him feel this way?

”Char…I understand that you’re upset, but…please don’t ever say stuff like that,” Nick says in a firm voice – but it came out shakier. Charlie nods not wanting to upset Nick more.

Nick hugs him again, “I love you…so, so much,” he whispers – yes, of course he’s scared, he’s so scared for Charlie. 

Nick pulls away, meeting Charlie’s beautiful ocean eyes. He tangles his hands in Charlie’s dark curly hair – he leans forward and presses his lips against Charlie’s forehead, pecking him repeatedly.

”Mmh,” Charlie mumbles, before Nick then pulls away – he’s so lucky to have Nick. He loves Nick so much he has no idea.

Nick throws his head back, ”Ugh…you are literally so cute,” he groans – chuckling, before looking at Charlie, who’s blushing.

”Shut up, I love you,” Charlie says, smiling. He’s never been so crazy in love with someone before.

”Come on,” Nick says quietly, before he stands up – offering Charlie a hand, which he take. 

After Nick helps him up – Charlie doesn’t even wait a second before kissing him. Nick is confused, but he knows Charlie’s hurting, and is doing this only to forget. This sort of happened at the bonfire.

”Wha…” kiss “Char…” Nick mumbles, in between kisses. Charlie moves his hands to Nick’s hip – pulling him closer.

Charlie’s literally chasing for kisses. He then guides Nick over to his bed, sitting him down on the edge – immediately climbing onto his lap. Charlie’s hands are now cupping his face – Nick’s hands are placed on his hips.

What. Is. Happening. Nick doesn’t want to admit it, but this sort of made him — uncomfortable. It’s not Charlie – he could never make Nick uncomfortable, but it’s the fact that he’s ignoring him – and using him to forget all his problems.

Nick pushes Charlie away, “Charlie,” he pants – instead Charlie presses his lips against Nick’s again – which Nick has to push him away — again.

But instead

He leans in, ”N-Nick…just,” Charlie mumbles in between kisses, which just makes Nick pull away.

”Whoa, whoa, hold on,” Nick says, worryingly. is Gabe Charlie scoots closer, wrapping his arms around Nick’s neck. Charlie smiles, not that it doesn’t look beautiful – it just looks wrong.

“Charlie if you’re trying to have sex with me to forget everything, just…talk to me,” Nick says, which Charlie can see the beg in his voice. Charlie starts tearing up again, and he starts shaking his head.

”I…I can’t,” Charlie croaks, and Nick places a hand on Charlie’s thigh – as he caresses Nick’s cheek.

“I just…I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Charlie says, but Nick gives a confused look. What would make him feel guilty?

”What?” Nick stammers, his voice being barely audible. Charlie sighs giving into all his fears. 

“It’s stupid really…just me and Tao got into a fight, saying that I spend too much time with you, and I walked away,” Charlie explains, and Nick sort of gets why he thinks Charlie would assume he would feel guilty.

Nick hugs Charlie – lying down with him, which makes Charlie giggle. He strokes Charlie’s hair.

”Would you want to spend the night here,” Nick asks, Charlie doesn’t say anything, but Nick could feel him nod.

Nick had always had a way to make Charlie feel safe.

Chapter Text

| T R U H A M |

One Month Later…

––

Rumors at Truham spread fast, they usually go on for a whole week – then people find something else to whisper about. This rumor isn’t anything new to Charlie – it’s just another new student joining our campus. 

Charlie, whom is getting his textbooks out of his lockers, just ignores the whispers of people saying – “Did you hear about the new student?” – “Oh my god he’s so hot,” – “Shut up, I heard he’s gay?” – Okay, that’s a bit dramatic, what gay guy could possibly be more hot then Nick –

“Hey,” apparently the, so called ‘new guy’ was hiding behind Charlie’s locker, which every single one of his text books hit the ground – one by one.

”I…um,” Charlie swallows, and the new guy crouched down picking up all the books and handing them to Charlie. “Thanks…” murmured Charlie.

”Of course,” the boy smiled, and Charlie finally sees why people are calling him hot. “I’m Cameron…by the way,” 

“Charlie,” he replies, after a very awkward silence, “so um you’re kind of famous around here,” Charlie teases – which makes Cameron confused.

“What do you mean?” He asks, and Charlie just lets out a breathy smile.

”Um…it’s just apparently people are saying you’re so hot…and gay,” Charlie describes awkwardly, and weirdly Cameron smiles.

”Uh yeah…I am,” Cameron clarifies, “don’t  worry, I won’t hit on you, even though it’s very hard not too,” he said he wouldn’t hit on Charlie, but he’s positive he just did.

Charlie laughs, “Yeah, um…you should probably know that I’m also gay, and I uh…have a boyfriend,” strangely there wasn’t any change in Cameron’s reaction when Charlie dropped the bomb.

Cameron suddenly stepped closer grabbing both his hand – Charlie wanted to pull away, but he was so frozen in place as their lips are inches apart. Charlie’s eyes flicked down to Cameron’s thumb caressing over the ring that Nick gave Charlie as a promise – then his eyes flicked back up, to meet Cameron’s

”Well…when you and your ’boyfriend’ break up…you know what to do,” he gave Charlie’s hand one last squeeze before walking off.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, ‘you know what to do’ he left Charlie confused. Oh. That’s what he meant – Charlie hadn’t even noticed he left a piece of paper with his number written on it in his hand.

Suddenly, the sound of someone clearing their throat startled Charlie – making him shove the piece of paper in his pocket, before turning around to see Nick. How long has he been here?

”So you’re…flirting with other guys now?” Nick teases – slightly irritated, Charlie sighs beginning to walk away from his locker as he has to get to class.

“I wasn’t flirting,” Charlie mumbles, as Nick follows him. It’s just the truth – last time he checked Cameron — was the one flirting.

”So, holding hands…isn’t flirting?” Nick asks, with an obvious look. Charlie knows he can’t deny the truth.

”Actually, he held my hand,” Charlie clears up – Nick scoffs as he grabs Charlie’s wrist – turning him around, and pulling him closer.

”So are you in love with him then?” Nick pops the awkward question – honestly it’s like asking, ‘am I gay?’ 

Charlie immediately pushes him gently into the nearest locker, and Nick’s hand find its way to Charlie’s hips as his hands are placed on Nick’s upper arm.

”Baby, you know you’re the only one I’ll ever love,” Charlie confirms – causing Nick to grin, biting his lip.

”Okay,” Nick says – his voice being barely audible. Charlie smiles – out of everyone, Nick could get him to smile the most.

They lean in connecting their lips – Charlie expected it to be a peck, but instead he’s being pulled closer – Nick chasing for another kiss. Charlie giggles against their lips – making Nick grin.

–

Tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc. Honestly, Charlie could just die of boredom – as is given a practice test in maths. He just honestly needed some air – these test usually stress Charlie out. He raises his hand – alerting the teacher.

”Can I, use the restroom?” Charlie asks in a small voice. Tao looks at Charlie blankly.

”Fine, but make it quick,” The teacher replies firmly. Charlie gets up exiting the classroom.

–

He had just got done using the loo, and was now in the corridor, walking back to class. Charlie just wanted to make it back safely, but he didn’t get lucky as Ben approached him – wherever the hell he came from. 

A slight smirk was stuck on his face, “Hey, Charlie,” Charlie froze – there was no one – the corridor was completely empty.

“Ben,” Charlie murmured, with fear. This time he felt completely helpless.

Nick is the only who know what an abuser Ben actually is. He hated how Ben completely damaged his mental health. Not that there was anything he could do about it.

“Look, I have to get to class,” Charlie told him – annoyed. Charlie walked pass Ben, but he blocked him again. 

“Okay, now wait a second,” Ben said standing in front of Charlie – who he wishes he could just disappear. Charlie realized Ben grabbed his wrist.

Cameron suddenly popped up, ”He said he has to get to class,” he says in a stern voice – which Ben just stares for a few seconds, before scurrying off.

”Thanks,” Charlie murmurs – finally feeling like he could breathe again. “How’d you know, I was here?”

Cameron chuckles, “I didn’t, I was just walking down the same corridor,” he points out, as they walk next to each other. 

A few moments of silence go by, “So…who was that guy,” Cameron asks, causing Charlie to let out a sigh. It’s not like he’s going to tell him the story.

”He’s…my ex,” Charlie murmured, as Cameron gave him a worried look, not wanting to push any further.

“Oh…so do all your ex’s have great hair,” Cameron teases, making Charlie snort. He does have a point – he’s not wrong.

”Um…maybe, but your hair is pretty great too,” Charlie teases – flicking his fringe. They both giggle, before waving each other off – going their separate ways.

What they didn’t know is that they were outside of Nick’s classroom window – which he apparently saw the whole thing. Did he have anything to worry about? Would Charlie actually dump him for the new boy?

| N I C K – H O U S E |

––

After school are Nick and Charlie hanging out – cuddling on his bed. They mostly go to Nick’s house, because his mum is rarely here, due to work. They’re just chatting about random stuff – the both of them could talk all day without running out of things to say. Right now’s they are currently talking about Nick considering to taking Charlie to Paris one day.

”Oh my god, Paris?!” Charlie exclaimed, lying on Nick’s chest, whilst he’s caressing Charlie’s arm.

”Yeah…” Nick chuckles, looking down at Charlie. They could just imagine how romantic it would be – just the two of them – in Paris.

Charlie bits his lip through a grin, “does this mean, I’ll get to hear you talk in French more often,” Charlie teases, making Nick laugh. Who wouldn’t think their boyfriend speaking in French is damn well attractive?

”Sure,” Nick chuckles, “do you like the fact I can speak French?” He asks, and Charlie’s face immediately turns red. Wasn’t the answer a little obvious?

“I, u-um, well,” God. He’s hesitating, “I just, it turns me on,” Charlie’s voice trails off as he just admitted the most embarrassing thing. 

Nick smirks, “does it?” He then tilts Charlie’s chin up with his finger, “Tu es si mignonne quand tu rougis,” Charlie groans becoming even more flustered, which makes Nick laughs as Charlie buries his head in his chest.

”For god sakes,” Charlie mumbles – Nick can sense the embarrassment in his tone. Nick smiles at how adorable Charlie is.

Charlie then looks back up at Nick – every time Nick sees those ocean eyes, it just makes him want to kiss him so bad. He caresses Charlie’s cheek, leaning in – so their lips can connect. Nick breathes Charlie’s addicting scent, before he unravels himself from the embrace – tucking a strand of hair behind Charlie’s ear. Nick then guides Charlie down slowly – as his hands pin on each side of him.

By now Nick’s hovering over Charlie’s – whose hands make their way to claw at Nick’s back – gripping his shirt. Their lips move desperately against each other. The kiss feels like the flashback when they both said ‘I love you’ for the first time. Well for Charlie it did, he had no idea Nick was trying to have sex with him to feel closer, because he was scared of losing Charlie. Of course Nick didn’t know he was using him.

Soon they began panting in between kisses – they should probably pull away, but for some reason they couldn’t – it was like a magnet attracting them. Nick pulls away, pressing his lips on Charlie’s cheek – trailing down to his neck. It’s the things Nick does to him that makes him feel the way he does right now. 

“O-oh my god,” Charlie lets out a breathy moan, as Nick is now sucking on the skin. He’s pretty sure there’s going to be a hickey the next day.

As soon as Nick’s lips disconnect from his neck, Charlie doesn’t wait a second, before grabbing Nick’s face, and pressing his lips against his. Charlie urgently flips them over – causing Nick to giggle, muffled by the kiss. Nick’s finger tips began to graze over Charlie’s back, as their lips move desperately against each other. They pull away – heads collided against each other, Charlie tugs the hem of Nick’s shirt – signaling for it off.

Nick sits up to take it off – Charlie straddles his lap. His fingers began to graze over Nick’s arm, while they look into each other’s eyes, wondering if they’d be this gap forever. Charlie then takes his shirt ,leaving Nick breathless. Charlie is so perfect to him – he has no idea. Nick leans in letting their lips connect again – as he lets his hands roam all over Charlie’s gorgeous body. Charlie pushes him back – letting his hands trail from his arms, making its way to Nick’s belt – before he knows it his belt is off. Charlie grins against Nick’s lips, as he undoes his jeans.

Nick’s never felt this turned on before. Eventually, both their clothes come completely off. Charlie trails peppered kisses starting at his stomach, ending to his tip. Nick can feel his eyes roll to the back of his head as Charlie begins to suck him off. The things this boy does to him. 

“Mmh…f-fuck…” Nick whimpers breathlessly, before kissing Charlie as soon as they meet eyes.

Nick flips them over – his hands are placed on Charlie’s hips. He pulls him closer if that’s even possible. Nick sucks on Charlie’s collar bone causing his breath to hitch. The rest of their intimate time are making out – biting each other’s skin – hands roaming – touching – stroking – yeah that’s where this is heading.

–

Lay on the bed beside each other on the bed – now were Nick and Charlie – fully dressed, Charlie was of course wearing Nick’s clothes. They just had sex for the second time – and it was amazing. Nick turns on his side facing Charlie – who mirrors his actions. Nick tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. It will be weird now to bring up the Cameron thing, but it’s bothering Nick too much.

”So, about the new guy,” Nick blurts out, and Charlie has an idea where this conversation might be heading.

”What about him?” Charlie asked showing no emotion. Nick let out a nervous breath, which came out shaky.

”Um…do I have anything to worry about?” Nick blurted out, but he meant to say, do you like him, but it came out wrong, letting Charlie know the truth.

Charlie sits up, “is this why you wanted to have sex with me?” He asked, “So you could feel close to me, because you were afraid of losing me,” Nick was at lost of words – he sit up.

”Charlie I,” Nick starts off, but he freezes, because Charlie was right, but he didn’t realize it. 

“You don’t trust me, do you?” Charlie says in shock, Nick looks up at Charlie immediately.

”No, of-of course I do Char,” Nick says quickly, trying to reason with Charlie, but Charlie won’t listen.

”That’s called using, did you know that,” Charlie points out – honestly Nick didn’t think of it that way. Nick looks down unable to say anything else. 

Charlie then scoffs, before getting up to exit Nick’s room, leaving him in shock. That’s it, he was gone. He ruined everything. Nick wanted run after him to tell him how much he loves him, but he was frozen.

Chapter Text

T R U H A M

––

It’s another boring day at school, but luckily Tao and Charlie were at lunch right now – sitting at their normal picnic table. He decided to sit with Tao alone this time since he spent too much time with Nick anyway – also Charlie was kind of ignoring him. He knows he should properly talk to Tao about it.

”So…where’s Nick,” Tao asked, but what is he supposed to say, Nick used me for sex, Charlie honestly didn’t know.

”I’m sort of…ignoring him,” Charlie confessed, and Tao gave a shocked look. He knows it’s not a normal thing for Charlie to do.

”Really?” Tao asked, “Since when?” Charlie just sighed – this is the most they went without speaking to each other. Are they even together anymore? Did they break up? 

”It’s been three days,” Charlie admitted – which made Tao choke on his apple juice that he was drinking.

”Did y’all fight or something,” Tao questioned curiously. Charlie hated to admit it, but he missed Nick so much. He loves him, and hates him at the same time.

”Um…yeah,” Charlie murmurs, and Tao didn’t even ask what it was about – he just hugged him tightly.

It wasn’t Nick had tried to talk to Charlie at points – Charlie was the one ignoring him. 
It might look dramatic ignoring him for that reason, but even if he hated to admit it – Ben did the same thing. Nick didn’t rape him though.

–

B E A C H

––

Later in the day, Charlie was sitting on the beach with someone, which was Cameron instead of Nick. They were chatting about random things, laughing and giggling as the sound of the ocean played in the background. Cameron’s nice, which makes it easier for Charlie to get along with him. He’s allowed to crush on someone right? Charlie and Nick were basically broken up.

Meanwhile Charlie had confessed he could speak Spanish, ”Seriously, you can speak in Spanish?” He asked with a smile on his face. Charlie just giggled, nodding, as the wind hit them.

”Um, only a little bit,” Charlie chuckled, hugging his knees tighter to his chest. They just sit there gazing into each other’s eyes.

After a few seconds of silence Cameron speaks up, “what’s up with you, you just seem off today,” He asked, Charlie turned his head – smiling. Cameron may notice when Charlie’s having an off day, but Nick could notice so much more than that.

”How do you know how I usually seem?” Charlie chuckles, which made Cameron smile at. He sort of did have a nice smile, and it looked even better in the moonlight.

“Well you were quite the sass, all this week,” Cameron teased, and they both started giggling. Soon Charlie’s giggling died down – which turned into a frown.

”Um…Nick and I…we argued, and we haven’t spoken in three days, of course that’s not normal for us, and I honestly don’t know if we’re just taking a break or…” Charlie couldn’t finish his sentence, because he didn’t want to put bad thoughts into his head.

Cameron gave a concerning look, before placing a hand on top of Charlie’s. He felt a warmth flow through his body, but it was like something was missing.

”Sorry,” Cameron muttered quietly, which Charlie only gave a soft smile in return. They eventually went back to their normal bantering.

𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐎𝐧 - 𝐓𝗼𝗺 𝐑𝗼𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐥

Meanwhile, Nick had came to the beach to apologize to Charlie. He would keep on trying even if it meant saying ‘sorry’ a million times. He needed to let Charlie know how much he loves him – that he couldn’t lose him – that he needed him. 

Eventually, Nick gets close enough to see Charlie’s silhouette, but suddenly there was another silhouette. The closer he got he soon realized it was Cameron. He listened closely to what they were saying.

”I’m glad you invited me,” Cameron said, and it felt like Nick’s heart was being ripped out of his chest.

It sounds a bit selfish, but this was their spot, Charlie had only ever invited him. This is where they first properly met, this is where they had their first kiss, this is where they had their first real kiss, this is where Charlie had first opened up to him. This spot meant everything to him.

Charlie smiled, “I’m glad you came,” he replied, and it shocked Nick with the way they gazed into each other’s eye.

Suddenly, Cameron cupped his cheek, and leaned in letting their lips connect. Nick stood there in disbelief, he wanted to deny it, to believe this was all just a bad dream, but it wasn’t, this was reality. His worst nightmare came true, maybe he just wasn’t enough for Charlie. His eyes stung of tears, and he scurried off, before they saw him.

Charlie then pulled away, he had realized what was missing. It was Nick. He was missing. Sure, he’s likes Cameron in that way, but he loves Nick. Charlie loves him so much it hurts. It was too late though, he ran off. Cameron noticed the uncertainty on Charlie’s face.

”You okay?” Cameron asked, so Charlie met his eyes. He had follow his instincts, and those were Nick. It had always been Nick, since the very beginning.

Charlie closed his eyes.

“Hey…”

“Hey,”

“Um…y-you moved—to England?”

“Uh…yeah!”

“My parents divorced two days ago,”

“I'm…sorry,”

“Don't be…I kind of wanted it to happen,”

When Charlie opened his eyes there was a concerned Cameron. He knew he needed Nick, Charlie felt so horrible, he was a terrible person. Even after everything Nick’s done for him.

”I…I really like you Cameron,” Charlie paused, grabbing his hand, “but…I love Nick,” he said, and Cameron looked down, he should’ve know this would happen, but it’s not Charlie’s fault.

”I made a promise to him, and I don’t want to ruin something that’s good,” Charlie explained, and Cameron nodded, going awkward.

”Uh…yeah,” he responded, which Charlie felt bad at, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

”Sorry,” Charlie murmured, and Cameron shifted uncomfortably. He placed his hand on top of Charlie’s

”You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said, and Charlie gave a smile in return. They sat there the rest of the time enjoying the beach.

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

–

N I C K – H O U S E

––

Nick rarely ever cries, but this hurt like hell. He sat on his bed – his knees bent as he hugs them loosely, and burring his face. Nick never thought he would lose the person he loves most in this world. What’s the point of a promise if it’s been broken. Nick took of his promise ring setting it on his nightstand.

His mum must of heard him sobbing, because she knocked on the door, Nick didn’t feel like doing anything right now. After she didn’t hear an answer she figured Nick didn’t want to talk, so she walked away, but to her surprise, the door opened, with a tear stain face, Nick.

–

Eventually, they got settled on the couch, and Sarah made Nick a cup of tea, which was set on the coffee table. Nick was cuddled against his mum, as she had an arm wrapped around her. Sarah waited patiently for when Nick was ready to finally open up to her.

Nick took a breath, “I honestly don’t if me and Charlie broke up, but…I saw him kiss someone else,” he explained, his voice breaking near the end. Sarah gave a shocked look.

”What happened between you guys?” Sarah asked, and Nick didn’t know if he should tell her, but he needed to tell someone.

”It was my fault…I guess I was so insecure that I would lose Charlie, so I had sex with him, but I didn’t know I was using him…and he found out…and got mad,” Nick rambled, as Sarah listened closely. She honestly didn’t care that they were having sex.

”I’m so sorry,” Sarah whispered, “can I tell you something,” She asked, and Nick let a tear slip, before nodding. Sahar let out a sigh.

”Love is like that sometimes, but I think it’s normal for people to feel insecure…we try so hard to keep the love we have, when instead we end up pushing it away…but all you have to do is just…feel,” Sarah explained, and Nick thought about it. It made sense, but Nick could never talk to Charlie after what he saw.

“Yeah,” Nick muttered, and they just sat there in silence. Nick’s so grateful he has his mum.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, Nick had told his mum that he’d get it. So he got up to open the door, but his heart stopped when Charlie appeared in his doorway. He looked as if he’d been crying, just like Nick. Then Charlie leaped forward hugging him tightly – Nick didn’t know what to do, part of him was still mad at him.

”Charlie…I can’t,” Nick mumbled quietly, so Charlie pulled away, looking at Nick’s face, which was filled with uncertainty.

”I…I saw you kissing Cameron,” Nick muttered, and Charlie was scared, he didn’t mean for Nick to see it, but he knew he had to fight for his love back.

“Can…can we talk, please,” Charlie asked, and Nick honestly didn’t feel like talking, but he at least had to hear Charlie’s side of the story, so Nick nodded.

–

They were sat on Nick’s bed. Charlie honestly didn’t know how to start off his statement. Charlie looked down, and saw Nick had taken off his promise ring. He felt so bad, because he must of really hurt Nick.

”I did kiss Cameron…” Charlie admitted, before pausing. Nick knew there was going to be a, ‘but’. 

“But…I pulled away, and told him I’m still in love with you,” he confirmed, “okay maybe I do like him, but I love you…I love you so much,” Charlie explained, and Nick looked up gazing into Charlie’s eyes – which started to tear up.

”And I’m so, so sorry I broke your promise, a few days ago I yelled at you for not trusting me, but yet I gave you a reason not to, I’m a horrible person,” Charlie rambled, as Nick looked back down, he doesn’t know if he’s ready to trust him again.

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 - 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝗼

”Nick, I love you,” he whispered, but he got no response. Nick thought back to the day they first said ‘I love you’.

“Charlie I…I didn’t say it, because, I’m scared that if I do say it…and if you l-leave, I…”

“Nick…”

“I promise…I’m not going anywhere, and I know this is probably stupid but…”

“I can’t live without you Nick,”

“I love you,”

“I love you…I love you so, so much,”

Nick closed his eyes, as a single tear fell. Charlie then cupped his face, tilting his head up, and their eyes met. Charlie’s eyes. One of the reasons, he fell deeply in love with him.

”Nick…did you hear me? I love you,” Charlie repeated, and Nick couldn’t take it anymore, he needed Charlie, he couldn’t imagine his life without Charlie Spring.

Fucking hell, Nick gave in, hugging Charlie so tight, and Charlie immediately hugged him back in return. They then felt stronger than before, as they sobbed in each other’s arms. They pulled away letting their foreheads fall against each other. Charlie turned around to grab Nick’s promise ring, and he slid it onto his finger. Charlie held Nick’s hand in both his hands, as he caresses his ring.

”I love you, but I can’t promise I’ll never hurt you again, but I can promise that I will never stop loving you,” Charlie confirmed, he lifted his hand up – kissing his ring, that had Charlie’s named engraved on it.

Charlie held Nick’s face, and they leaned in letting their lips connect. This time there was nothing missing everything felt — right. Nick remembered what his mum had told him; we try so hard to keep the love we have, when instead we end up pushing it away…but all you have to do is just…feel; Sarah was right, so that is exactly what he’s doing.

He’s feeling.

▪︎ 𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑔 ▪︎

Chapter Text

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The sound of soft giggles is heard – clothes scattered everywhere. Nick and Charlie are lying in Nick’s bed, cuddling in just their boxers. The sun shining through the window – whispered conversations are heard. Nick running his fingers through Charlie’s dark curls – as he traces over Nick’s arm. 

This is just perfect. It’s just them no one else. If they could say like this forever they would. But sadly they had school. Thankfully it was their last day, before the weekend. 

“I honestly think…you’re obsessed with my hair,” Charlie says softly, and Nick grins, chuckling. He was only stating the obvious. Charlie’s hair, dimples, especially his eyes, are his main obsessions.

”I think…you’re right,” Nick whispers back, continuing to play with his hair. Charlie gives a soft smile in return.

Charlie bring his hands up to caress Nick’s cheek, “I love you,” Nick smiles, brushing his nose against Charlie’s. He slides his hands to Charlie’s thigh, bringing him closer.

”I love you…” Nick caressed his thigh, “but we have school today,” Charlie let out a groan – he just wanted to stay like this forever, he really did not want to go to school.

Nick got up, and turned to Charlie taking both his hands, “come on,” he chuckled pulling Charlie onto his feet – making him giggle.

–

𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐇𝐀𝐌

––

As Charlie walks down the corridors – hand in hand with his lovely boyfriend Nick, he couldn’t help but notice the way everyone’s staring at them as they look on their phones like they were trying to match their picture. Tao Xu was then spotted waiting by Charlie’s locker – a concerned face, which worried him even more as he dragged Nick with him.

”What’s…going on?” Charlie asked, letting go of his partner’s hand. Tao didn’t even say anything – which probably meant he was disappointed.

He suddenly brought the phone up to Charlie’s face for him to see – usually in situations like this he would’ve had a panic attack, but all it was is a picture of him and Cameron – at the beach – kissing – no big deal. Nick already knew anyways, and they talked it out. The main thing that he was worried about is the who. This person who posted the photo could literally be stalking Charlie for gods know how long.

”Who did that?” Nick asked – yes, who did go that? Could it have been Cameron? He was so sweet though.

“I don’t know,” Tao said, but they all got interrupted by Cameron rushing over here in a hurry.

”Did you see the photo?” He asked, and Charlie nodded – so it couldn’t have been him, because he look worried.

”But it really doesn’t bother me, anyway I really go to go,” Charlie wraps his arms around Nick’s neck – as his hands place on Charlie’s waist, pulling him closer. 

Their lips connect – the kiss was slow, gentle, and short. Nick smiles as he pulls away, and they don’t even notice Cameron standing there so awkwardly. Okay, that was weird? After Charlie disappeared Cameron turned to Nick.

”That was kind of weird,” Cameron said, and Nick glared at him like he had said something wrong.

”Yep,” he walked off, leaving him confused. He looked so mad, and Cameron would understand why.

Cameron gave Tao a look, before going to catch up with Nick.

”I’ve done nothing wrong for you to hate me,” he snapped, and Nick turned around to look at him – crossing his arms.

“So, is stealing people boyfriends a thing for you?” Nick asked sassily, cause Cameron to scoff – chuckling sarcastically.

”Okay, I did not steal him–“ he tried to reason with Nick, but he just wouldn’t listen.

”You kissed him!” Nick snapped, but Cameron wasn’t going to lose this battle,

”He kissed me back!” Cameron argued back, pointing at himself. 

“This isn’t a debate, just…stay the fuck away from me!” Nick yelled, walking off before he said anything else. 

–

It’s later in the day – around lunchtime, usually Tao, Charlie, and Nick would usually  all sit together, but Nick’s practicing for his rugby game he has coming up in a week. Charlie can’t wait to see him play.

“So Nick and Cameron kind of had an argument,” Tao says this so casually, and it catches Charlie’s attention.

”What?” He murmurs, “what happened?” Tao gives a look of uncertainty.

”Well…Nick sort of called him out for kissing you, and…yeah,” Tao explained. Charlie lets his head drop. 

’He should’ve known this would happen’ Charlie doesn’t blame Nick though. It was his fault he kissed Cameron. It did make him feel guilty though.

”Oh,” Charlie muttered. He needs to earn back his trust. He looks do and twists his promise ring, and all he could think about was; Nick.

Charlie pulls out his phone, and opens Messages – clicking on Nick’s contact. He sends Nick a text saying; Are you busy tomorrow? Then he closes his phone.

–

Nick’s all hot and sweaty from practice, so he’s in the changing room. Suddenly, he gets a text from Charlie asking if he’s busy tomorrow – just a single text from Charlie could make him smile. 

He text back; No, why? Nick opens his water bottle chugging it like he was dying of thirst. His phone dings again with Charlie replying – I don’t know, do you maybe wanna go out? – Nick smirks at his phone, quickly typing back.

’Is Charlie Spring, trying to ask me out on a date?’ Nick responds, giggling quietly. He zips his bag up, throwing it over his shoulder, exiting the changing room.

’Maybe…’ Once Nick hears a ding, he takes his phone out – giggling once he see the text. All he can think of is how much of a dork his boyfriend is.

He quickly replies, ‘I would love to,’ and he turns off his phone putting it away.

–

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

It the next day, and Charlie’s parents were away on the weekends, with Oliver, and Tori was at her best friend Becky’s place. So Charlie had the house all to himself, it was perfect for their date. Charlie had built a huge pillow fort, in the living room with a projector so they could watch a movie. 

Thirty minutes later, Nick and Charlie were inside the fort cuddling, and watching a movie. They decided to watch a comedy film, because Nick was probably going to pick something Marvel.

Charlie’s cuddled into Nick’s chest. Suddenly, Nick lets out a chuckle brushing his fringe away.

“You are such a dork,” Nick giggles, which makes Charlie let out a light smile.

Nick stokes his cheek, slowly sneaking his thumb down over his bottom lip – Charlie catches his thumb in between his teeth, giggling. Nick bites his lip trying to hold back a smirk, as he takes his thumb out of Charlie’s mouth.

Charlie rolls over hovering over Nick, he leans in kissing his lips slowly. He pulls away, before Nick reaches out cupping his cheek.

”Do we have to finish the movie?” Charlie whines, causing Nick to laugh, throwing his head back.

“Mmh…it is kind of boring,” Nick mutters. Charlie then scoffs dramatically.

”It’s better than Marvel,” he defends, and Nick giggles pulling him back down, and connecting their lips once again.

Their lips fit perfectly together. The kiss quickly gets intense, and eventually Nick flips them over – him now being on top. Their mouths open and close as they try to get enough of each other, as their tongues begin to explore. Nick pulls away, not even taking a second to catch his breath before trailing firm kisses down his neck, they were so desperate. The sound of Charlie’s moan and whimpers make Nick want so much more of him.

Charlie immediately takes off Nick’s shirt – they apparently forgot they were literally in a pillow fort. They didn’t care though. Nick then takes off Charlie’s shirt, before pausing. All Nick could think is, how is he literally so perfect? 

“God…you’re literally so sexy,” Nick whispers. Charlie gasps, covering Nick’s mouth.

“Oh my god, shut up,” he giggles. Nick caresses Charlie’s side, it’s the way he touches him. Charlie eventually removes his hand.

Nick plants kisses all over his collar bone, moving down to his chest, then stomach. He soon reaches his lower abdomen – pulling his joggers down a bit, then sucking on the skin there. It was for sure goin to leave a hick.

“Mmh…Nick…” Charlie moans breathlessly. Nick smirks, placing more kisses.

Charlie honestly, doesn’t care if his bodies covered in hickeys, he just wants people to know that Nick did that. Nick honestly is just proud of the art he made.

Soon, every bit of clothing is off, and all that is heard, is panting – their hot breath touching, kissing sounds, moans, whimpers, who would’ve thought they’d have sex in a pillow fort. It was amazing though.

–

Clothes scattered everywhere around Nick and Charlie cuddling in peace. It doesn’t really take long to realize what they’ve just done.

”Did we just have sex in a pillow fort?” Nick mentions, and they then make eye contact. After a few seconds they can’t help but burst into laughter.

”Why are we like this?” Charlie laughs, and all Nick does is pull him closer, if that’s even possible.

They will probably never know why they’re like this.

–

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊

The Next day, Nick and Charlie had went out to take Nellie for a walk. Nick had wondered if he should ask Charlie about the leaked photo, but he already say he didn’t want to talk about it. One thing he’s learned is if you force Charlie to talk about something he’ll just get irritated.

Maybe it is worth a try.

”So, who do you think maybe leaked the photo?” Nick asked, and Charlie continues to stare at his phone. He’s been on his phone the entire walk. 

“I don’t know,”

His eyes still glued at the screen.

”Charlie you have, literally been on your phone the whole time,” he argues, and Charlie finally looks up.

”Can I at least get a kiss,” Nick points at his lips – getting ready to lean in.

Instead, Charlie crouches down, and kisses Nellie on the forehead. It was supposed to be Nick.

”Actually, I-I meant…I wanted,” he stammers, “M’kay,” Nick gives in. He should just drop it for now.

The truth is that Charlie was scared to find out who it was. He thought I’d just better if he didn’t know. 

“Nick you’re really cute, but not that cute,” Charlie then walks ahead of Nick, leaving him blinking repeatedly.

’What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’

Nick catches up with him, “Okay, ouch that sort of hurt,” Charlie roll his eyes, turning around.

Charlie cups his face connecting their lips, chasing for kisses. This kiss sort of felt really confusing. Of course he loves kissing Charlie, but it was a weird timing to kiss. Nick feels Charlie’s arms wrap around his neck. The kiss soon gets heated, but it doesn’t last long before Charlie’s phone dings.

His eyes widened a when he sees the text.
‘Hey Charlie, it’s Ben, just wanted to let you know I leaked the photo, which means I know where you live.

What. The. Fuck. Is the creep going to start stalking him now? This freaked Charlie out. He’s never been actually scared to go back home.

”Charlie?” He snaps him out of his thoughts, and Charlie honestly forgot Nick was also here.

”Are you okay?”

No, not really. There’s a creep who happens to be his ex-boyfriend, stalking him, and now apparently knows where he lives, wherever the fuck he got that information from. He’s basically out to get Charlie.

Charlie smiles, “I’m fine,” but Nick doesn’t really want to buy his act.

”You…sure?” Nick double checks, but Charlie honestly needs to get out here.

”Nick I said I’m fine,” he snaps. He really didn’t mean to, but he just wanted to drop it.

So, Charlie walks away with only one thing floating in his mind.

“What do I do?”

Chapter Text

Charlie had told Nick he needed to go home early, because the people he truly needed to be with is his family. He honestly missed Tori and Oliver. God he even missed his mum and dad. 

Yet, here was him alone – laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, and thinking about that single text. Suddenly, his phone dings, and he turns over grabbing it off his nightstand. He receives a text from his boyfriend.

I’m here if you ever wanna talk.

Charlie smiles at the text, because he’s so grateful to have someone like Nick in his life. Nick at least deserves a response.

Yeah, of course.

Then it suddenly hit him. He felt so guilty for leaving him, Nick’s probably so confused. Someone then knocks on his door. After, no answer they open it, and it appears to be his sister Tori. 

“I’m going over to Becky’s, mum and dad went to the store with Oliver,” Tori says, and it only just hits Charlie that he just can’t be alone, he just can’t be.

”W-what, no!” Charlie snaps, and Tori turns around confused.

”What?”

”I just…I don’t wanna be alone, please,” he begs, and Tori instantly feels bad. She senses the beg in his voice – it breaks her heart.

Tori approaches him, sitting beside him on his bed. She wraps an arm around him – letting him cuddle into her chest.

”Charlie did something happen, usually you would go to Nick?” She asks, and Charlie shakes his head. 

“I’m fine, I just…missed you,” He murmurs – laying his head on her shoulder. God, he’s missed this, he’s missed his sister.

“Yeah, well you’ve been spending all your time at Nick’s,” Tori says casually, and Charlie lifts up his head. 

“I’m sorry…I should’ve spent more time with you, and Oliver,” Charlie says. Tori looks down, before letting out a sigh.

She knew Charlie was trying, but it was mostly because of their mum. She was trying too though.

“It’s okay,” Tori whispers, pulling him in for a hug.

Charlie feels so lucky to have a sister like her.

–

The Next day, at school – form has just ended, but Charlie really doesn’t want to go to his next class. He has that one alone, and Ben’s in that class. He has came back to ruin Charlie’s life. God, he’s so obsessed.

After Nick shuts his locker Charlie hugs his arm, and Nick notices that he’s about to cry. Charlie looks up at him with teary eyes.

“Nick…I-I don’t wanna go to class…I j-just can’t, I wanna stay with you,” Charlie croaks, and it breaks Nick's heart, so he pulls him into a hug.

”Shhh, you’re okay,” Nick strokes his hair, resting his chin on his head. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks softly – pulling away.

Charlie doesn’t know what Ben’s capable of. He’s never been so scared before. Yes he could go to the police, but he had no proof that he’d been raped. Plus it was a long time ago.

“I can’t tell you,” he replies inaudible. This makes Nick confused, and he wonders; is he in danger, did someone threaten him.

”Charlie if something bad happened, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” Nick says, as the fear is noticeable in his tone. 

Charlie knows Nick would call the police if he knew. How would the police help. They would literally bring Ben in for questioning, so he would know Charlie had called the police, and they can’t send him to jail right away. So that the end of Charlie – he knows and he’s going to probably do something to hurt him.

So No. He obviously can’t call the police. Maybe if he hadn’t kissed Cameron, this would’ve never had happened. Charlie’s use to thinking everything is his fault.

”I just…can you please stay with me?” He begs, without telling the truth. Nick knows he can’t force him to tell the truth.

“Charlie…you know I can’t skip anymore…”

If Nick skipped one more time, he’d probably end up in detention. But it’s hard for him not to give in to Charlie. Nick could never resists his cute little face even if he tried.

”Nick…” Charlie whines, and this breaks his heart. Nick pulls him aside, taking both his hands.

”Charlie…what’s going on?” Nick asks in a more stern tone. Charlie knows he can’t lie to him with that look.

”I…” he tries to say something but nothing comes out. He can’t do this anymore. Charlie doesn’t say anything he just hands Nick his phone. 

Nick finally sees the text, and he raises his eyebrows. It was a bad idea to tell him, and Charlie knows that now. 

He hold the phone out to Charlie showing him the screen, “Charlie this is a threat, and it’s a crime,” he says firmly, handing back the phone.

It’s the tone of voice he uses, the way he snaps. There’s also care in his tone, a part of it that warms Charlie’s heart. The way Nick has never judged his relationship with Ben before.

”I know, but Nick…you can’t report it—“

Nick scoffs, ”Charlie…come on,” he interrupts, complaining.

”I’m just…scared,” Charlie says inaudible, and he closes his eyes letting a single tear drop. Nick quickly wipes it with his thumb.

”Fine…it’s your choice…I just hoping you make the right one,” Nick sighs, but a part of Charlie feels bad.

”This is the last time I’m skipping…” he walks with Charlie holding his hand. Charlie bites his lower lip smirking.

–

𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌

*

They’ve been here for like ten minutes, and not said a single word. They didn’t really know what to say. Charlie was just cuddled against Nick’s chest as they sat in the corner. Nick hasn’t seen Charlie this scared before, it sort of broke his heart. The fact that the person he loves the most, had to suffer through all that trauma.

Nick slowly guides his phone down, “Y-you okay?” Nick murmurs, snaking his hand in Charlie’s, intertwining their fingers.

He refuses to talk though.

Nick sighs, “Char…the only way this…”

He taps Charlie’s forehead gently as if to be  saying, ‘these thoughts’

”will get better is…if you talk to someone,” he says in a soothing tone. Charlie lets out a nervous chuckle.

”I-I am talking to you,” 

“Yeah, but…I mean like a…therapist…” Nick murmurs. He really didn’t know how to say it without sounding like Charlie had ‘psycho problems’.

”W-what…” he’s obviously speechless and doesn’t know what to say, “no…I’m fi–“

”Are you fine though?” Nick snaps pulling away, as he’s now sitting in front of Charlie – his arms wrap loosely around his knees.

“I-I mean…you say you’re fine, you act like you’re fine,” Nick says inaudible. Charlie looks down. 

Nick’s right, and he knows that.

“But you’re not fine, Charlie! You’re not okay!” Charlie flinches as Nick yells. He’s never yelled at him before, so this is all new to see.

Nick caresses his cheek, wiping the tear that escaped. Charlie hadn’t even noticed it. Nick matches his height.

“Char…” he whispers.

”I…just want to believe that this isn’t real, and pretend that your don’t even know
me—“ 

Another tear escapes as he bite his lip.

”But I do know you!” Nick interrupts, before tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

”I know that you hate opening up to people…I know that you think being alone is easier, but you’re also afraid of losing people,” 

Charlie couldn’t believe it, all he could think about was; wow, he’s good at this.

”God, I know that you bite your lip when you’re nervous…or,” he grazes his thumb on Charlie’s bottom lip, causing him to blush.

”—aroused…” he finishes. “I know that you scrunch your nose when you want attention,” Nick chuckles tapping him on the nose. Charlie giggles.

On more serious matters.

“But Charlie…you really didn’t think I know you have an eating disorder?” 

Charlie’s eyes widened. He’s had an eating disorder called anorexia, for quite a while. He’s his it from Nick for so long he forgot about it. Now it’s all coming back to him.

”W-what?” Charlie murmurs in shock.

”I know this because I pay attention…because I notice these things Char…” Nick whispers, and Charlie couldn’t take much more of this.

He leaps forward into Nick’s arms, wrapping them around your neck. As they breathe each other in it smells like home.

”Char…you need to ask for help,” Nick whispers. He feels relieved as he feels Charlie nod into his shoulder.

”Yeah…I know…” Charlie murmurs. Nick hugs him tighter. 

This is it, Nick’s the one, they know they’re meant to be, like soulmates. They keep thinking the same time, on repeat. They’ve never felt like this before. Charlie doesn’t know what he would do without Nick.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever find love again.

–

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄’𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

❤︎

Charlie had decided to take Nick’s advice, but then he hesitated to open the door as he stood there on the front porch. ‘What if his mum flips out about Ben?’ But then again, Nick was right. He has to do this. He refuses to be scared of Ben any longe —

“Charlie,” Tori calls. Oh. He’d forgotten how long he’d been standing there.

Charlie opens the door, walking inside. and turns his head towards the living room where both his parents are sitting. And Oliver. Tori took Oliver upstairs so he didn’t hear this. 

Charlie takes a seat in between them, his heart beats fast.

”So what did you need to talk about?” Jane says in a sweet tone. Charlie starts to tear up, he tried not to cry.

”What’s wrong?” Julio asks, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Mum…dad…” Charlie croaks, “last year, in March…” he began – his parents not aware what they were about to hear.

And that’s how it all started.

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡, 𝟏𝟑𝐭𝐡, 

People were partying and lights were flashing. Somehow Ben had convinced Charlie to come to an alcoholic party. He sort of hated it. But the next thing he knew he was getting pulled up stairs into an empty room. 

Ben has Charlie pinned up against the wall and they’re making out. Then Ben starts lifting up his shirt. Charlie pulls away. 

“W-whoa…what are you doing?” Charlie slurs. Ben doesn’t listen, he continues to try and undress him.

Charlie pushes him. “Ben I said stop!” He snaps. This leaves him so confused when Ben just smirks.

Before he knows it he’s being slammed into  the wall. The sound of feared whimpers and moans escaping Charlie’s mouth, as Ben’s forces his lips against Charlie’s.

Honestly, Charlie can’t believe this is actually happening. He wants to wake up from this nightmare.

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊

“I’m sorry…” Charlie whimpers. 

He honestly thought his parents were going to start screaming at him but they just hugged him. 

“Don’t be…we’re just glad you told us,” Jane says. Even his own parents were crying.

”We had no idea, you were suffering that much,” Julio murmurs, and Jane agreeing.

”Yeah,” Charlie whimpers wiping his eyes. “I need help,” he admits. 

“I’m…fucked up, and…I don’t wanna feel like this anymore,” He confesses, can’t help but let a tear escape.

“Shhh…it’s okay…we will get you help…” Jane hushes, and they hug again.

For the first time he actually feels like his parents see him. Charlie finally feels seen and heard.

”T-thank you…” Charlie croaks. He suddenly feels guilty for the amount of time he spends with them. 

These are his parents. These people are only mad he spends more time with Nick because he misses their son.

”You don’t have to thank us…we just…love you so much,” Julio whispers, causing Charlie to smile. 

“I love you guys too…so much,” he whimpers. 

And at that moment he suddenly feels so grateful to have parents like them. He doesn’t want anything to change. Even if it means going to the police, he just wants to feel safe.

Chapter Text

NINE MONTHS LATER.

So much has happened in nine months. Tori had eventually convinced Charlie to go to the police and report Ben. So he did. It actually turned out better than he thought it would. There wasn’t enough evidence for him to get arrested, but Charlie did file a restraining order against him. Ben also got expelled from Truham which was good.

His mum managed to get him an appointment at a mental facility. It’s where he met his therapist; his name was Geoff. Charlie loved his humor, which made it easier to talk to him about mental health. For the longest time he thought he was fine because he already told Nick every single thing. Except his anorexia. The fact that he had someone notice him that much was unbelievable. 

His anorexia got better though and he hasn’t cut since he first told his parents of everything. Of course he opens up to Nick. If anything their love grew stronger. 

Nick had gotten his first job; as a life guard. Which was good for Charlie, because he got to see him shirtless most of the time. Nick had also got his drivers license. He was also looking at uni options. He wanted to get in somewhere local so he could be closer to Charlie, not the he doesn’t want Nick to be close to him – he just wanted Nick to go somewhere he’ll be happy. There was a lot on Nick’s plate, so he’s been really stressed and tired.

–

T H E R A P Y

And here he is another appointment at therapy. Mostly at appointments he usually sit there in silence for about five minutes to just think about what he wants to say. He usually never knows what to say. 

“Um …” 

Right now, is one of those times.

”Well how has your relationship been with Nick?” Geoff asks, and Charlie looks down.

”It’s been …” he thought if he should just brush away the bother.

Charlie sighs. “Nick and Cameron have been … at it recently,” Charlie explains. Geoff tilts his head. Yes. He told Geoff about Cameron.

“At it … how?” He asks as Charlie fiddles with his fingers nervously.

For the past few months, ever since Nick had seen Cameron kiss his boyfriend he never completely got over the thought. It’s not like Nick can stop them from being friends.

”I guess … he’s not really over the fact that I kissed another guy,” Charlie looks down at his lap, wondering what it would be like if he hadn’t kissed Nick.

“I just don’t know what else to do,” Charlie sighs.

“Have you tried talking to him, ri–“

”That’s literally what every therapist says!” Charlie snaps, in a complaining tone.

Geoff chuckles, “Charlie you didn’t even let me finish,” 

Charlie looks at him, “sorry,” he mutters.

”As I was saying, right now it seems like Nick is insecure, trying telling him how much he means to you,” Geoff suggests. 

Charlie doesn’t think it’s a bad idea. Geoff has a point.

“Yeah I guess …” Charlie says starting to get annoyed. He didn’t realize Nick could feel that way.

–

C H A R L I E ‘ S : H O U S E

Something Charlie doesn’t do very often is studying in his room after therapy. Nick drives him, since he’s gotten his license a couple of weeks ago. Charlie would usually go to Nick’s house afterwards, but this time Charlie asked Nick to drop him off at home. He’s sort of behind in school, so he needs to catch up. Apparently having a boyfriend had some disadvantages.

Tori knocks on his door. “Can I come in?” She asks.

”Yeah,” Charlie softly replies.

Tori opens the door entering his room with her diet lemonade, and she spots Charlie lying on his bed on his stomach with his homework in front of him.

"This is new." She point out, causing Charlie to look up. “I thought you'd be at Nick’s."

Charlie turns back to his paper. "Yeah, well I'm behind." He mutters while writing.

"Maybe mum’s right, that you shouldn't spend all your time with Nick then," Tori lectures. Charlie scoffs rolling his eyes. He knows Tori’s right, she always is.

–

T R U H A M

Even though Charlie thought Geoff’s advice was cliché, and sort of helpless; he decided to take it. He decided to just talk to Nick. So Charlie's walking down the corridor searching for his boyfriend. Which he soon spots him closing his locker. Charlie approaches him from behind – he taps him on the shoulder.

Nick turns around, “hey,” he smiles softly. 

Charlie doesn’t even respond to him. Instead he immediately grabs his hand, and guides him into an empty classroom. Charlie presses him against a wall gently, leaving Nick very confused.

"Charlie?" Nick murmur, furrowing his eyebrows.

Charlie sighs, "Nick are you … insecure?" he asks rubbing Nick’s forearms. “I know we haven’t really talked about Cameron since that night but … I’m just worried about you,” 

Nick looks down. He has felt insecure lately – like maybe he’s not enough. No matter how many times Charlie tells Nick he is; there’s still a tiny nudge that reminds him. 

"Yeah I guess … maybe a little bit insecure.” he mutters, hesitantly, before looking up to meet Charlie’s eyes.

Charlie sighs. “Nick …” he whispers.

He feels so guilty for kissing Cameron. He and Nick technically did not break up. They were just two people who were really mad at each other. Charlie beats him self up for it mentally, because he’ll never forgive himself for that night. Charlie knows that Nick has forgiven him, but he’ll never forget what he saw, and it bothers him. Charlie just feels so – repentant.

"I know it's my fault, but … you're like the sexiest person ever," Charlie reminds affectionately, replacing his hands in Nick’s face, caressing his cheeks.

“Then why'd you kiss him?" Nick snaps petulantly. Charlie’s hands move to Nicks shoulders, as he looks down.

"Maybe ... maybe I was a bit insecure." He admits, reminding Nick that he used him to forget about Cameron.

Charlie sighs, he reaches up – brushing away Nick’s fringe. Charlie gazes with softness into his boyfriend’s eyes.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Nick says with guilt, causing Charlie to look back down.

"It's okay … I’m sorry too," He murmurs. He looks up at Nick, and rises on his toes to reach Nick, and kisses him softly on the lips.

"I love you ... so much." Charlie reminds, with so much care and affection.

Nick smiles. He knows Charlie loves him, and he loves Charlie. Nick pulls him back in by the waist, giving another chaste kiss. He pulls away – biting his lip smirking.

"Okay ... I love you too." Nick replies, making Charlie smile, as his hands move to Nicks face.

They honestly forgot about form, which they are reminded by the bell ringing, causing them to part. Charlie gives a soft smile, offering his hand to Nick, which he of course accepts.

–

N I C K ‘ S : H O U S E

Charlie did have time to hang out with Nick after school, but he really couldn’t stay long. They were lying on the bed cuddling. Nick is lying on his chest, asleep. Charlie loves acting like the baby in the relationship, but he likes it even better when Nick does, because it’s so adorable. Charlie glances down at Nick. He feels terrible that he made him feel insecure. Charlie just wants to shower him with kisses and say over and over that he’s the only one he loves.

Charlie kisses Nick's head, causing him to stir, and make the most adorable sighing sound, which Charle smiles at. Nick’s eyes flutter open, and he looks around trying to remember his surroundings. His glances up at his boyfriend.

"Hey ...” Charlie whispers, brushing the hair that was in his face. Nick smiles, because one of his favorite things about Charlie is his touch.

"Hi ..." Nick replies, his voice sounding a tiny bit groggy.

“I have to go in a bit,” Charlie states, causing Nick to be confused. How long has he been asleep?

Nick runs a hand over his face, “oh fuck, how long was I asleep?” He wonders, and Charlie checks his phone; the time showing: 8:47 PM.

”About, an hour and a half,” Charlie tells, and Nick repositions himself, cuddling more into Charlie.

”I’m so sorry,” Nick sighs.

”It okay,” Charlie murmurs, playing with Nick’s hair, “You were like completely passed out … you even snored,”

Nick blushes, “I-I do not snore,” he protests.

Charlie smiles at Nick being flustered. It’s very rare to get him to blush. Which Charlie thinks is the cutest thing ever when he does. It’s the way his freckles stand out, which is Charlie’s favorite thing about him.

“No, it’s-it’s cute,” Charlie says softly smirking, and Nick’s blush deepens. “Have you not been sleeping well?”

Nick sighs, “I don’t know …” Charlie begins to worry about Nick. He sit up a bit and turns on his side to face Nick, who’s laying down on his side as well.

”What do you mean?” Charlie asks, playing his Nicks hair.

”Just … with getting my license, my job, starting six form, and worrying about uni options, it’s all been …” Nick takes a deep breath.

“A lot?” Charlie finishes his sentence, and Nick nods.

”Yeah,” He murmurs.

”I get that … and you’ve also been helping me,” Charlie reminds. “Nick, you don’t always have to be the strong one, even with me,”

Charlie caresses Nick’s cheek, before inviting him with a hug. Charlie rubs his back as Nick nuzzles his face in Charlie’s chest.

”I really need to go,” Charlie mutters smiling, causing Nick to sigh dramatically.

”Okay,” He mumbles.

–

T R U H A M

Charlie usually eat in the art room anytime Nick had an emergency rugby practice, but he feels bad for ditching his friends all summer. So he decided to eat lunch at the picnic benches.

”So you’re eating lunch with me?” Tao asks. “Elle and I’ve barely seen you all summer, every time you’re hanging out with Nick,” Charlie looks down.

”I’m sorry for everything,” he says looking up. “I guess I’ve realized that friends are important too … and sometimes we need them more than boyfriends,” 

Tao smiles at his realization. Of course he supports Charlie with Nick, it’s just he loves Charlie and wants to see him too.

”Okay … thanks,” Tao mutters. “Can I have a hug?”

”Yeah of course,” Charlie walks around to sit beside him, and literally tackles him in a hug. “Can you forgive me?” He asks with hope, resting his chin on Tao’s shoulder.

Tao sighs dramatically, “I guess,” Charlie smiles. “But only because I love you,”

”Aw … I love you too,” Charlie says.

– 

T H E : P O O L

Charlie visits Nick a lot when he’s working, it’s usually during his breaks. Which they always hang out. Since Nick has a really late shift today Charlie decided to do something nice for him.

Charlie walks inside the locker room holding a dominos pizza box. He spots his dreamy boyfriend getting a towel and shirt out of his locker. Nick drys his hair, and once he closes his locker he sees Charlie causing him to smile. 

Nick walks towards Charlie, “Hey,” he murmurs.

”Hey,” Charlie replies. “I uh brought you pizza for us to share since you probably wanna go to sleep after your shift,”

Nick smiles, “Aw, you didn’t have to do that,” he says.

”No, I wanted to,” Charlie argue, and Nick places a hand on his waist.

”Well, thank you,” Nick says, before kissing his lips. ”I’ll be right there I just need to dry off and put a shirt on,” He tells him.

“You don’t … have to … put a shirt on,” Charlie stammers, and Nick smirks.

”What do you like it?” Charlie blushes at Nick’s question.

”Nick I’ve seen you naked thousands of times, I-I mean I like it … but how is this any different.” Charlie asks rhetorically. He steps closers. “But I really like it,” He flirts.

”Oh do you?” Nick mutters.

“Yeah,” Charlie say as he nuzzles his nose against Nick’s.

–

For the past few minutes they’ve been chatting and laughing about random things. But the fact that Nick’s been stressed about everything has been bothering him. 

Charlie covers Nick’s hand with his, “Nick I know you want to go to Kent because you wanna be near me, but I want you to go somewhere you’ll be happy,”

Nick smiles. “But I am happy, I’ll be next to my dream boyfriend.” Charlie doesn’t want to push it.

”Okay,” Charlie murmurs. Nick pushes the pizza box towards Charlie.

”Do you want the last slice, I’m so full right now,” Nick chuckles placing a hand on his stomach, and Charlie smiles looking down at the last slice.

“Hmm …” Charlie thinks.

”Oh come on you know you want it,” Nick picks it up and winds it around in circles teasing him.

”Oh my god, Nick!” Charlie laughs at Nick’s ridiculousness. He takes a bite of it, and Nick gazes at him resting his chin on his hand.

”Is it magical?” Nick whispers, and Charlie rolls his eyes. Nick places the pizza down.

”For fucks sake you’re so ridiculous,” Charlie laughs. 

“Ridiculously adorable?” Nick ask fetching for attention. Charlie smiles thinking; he’s not wrong.

”Yeah,” he mutters.

They both lean forward allowing their lips to connect. They don’t have to talk about uni right now.

Chapter Text

( X U ) H O U S E

The group hasn’t had a sleepover in ages. So they decided to, it was mainly Tao’s idea. As if right now they’re all lying on Tao’s bed – not to sleep on, but just to chat. Tao and Elle cuddling on one side, and Charlie cuddling into Nick's chest.

"So Nick, how's it going with your job?" Elle asks, causing Nick to swallow nervously. He really doesn’t want to talk about this.

"Um, it’s good." Nick stammers, faking a smile.

"You're going to Kent right?" Elle asks, not even aware how Nick feels right now. This is new for him because he’s never felt this before.

"Mhm." Nick mumbles, starting to sweat, and Charlie looks up at him.

"He definitely wants to be close to Charlie." Tao says with a smirk, causing Nick's breath to quicken.

"Guys can we not talk about this?” Nick says breathlessly, but no one heard him with how quiet he’s speaking.

"You don’t think you could do long distance?" Elle questions, pushing Nick over the edge.

"Uh." He doesn’t know what to say, and it’s like he’s trapped in a very tight space.

"Nick why is your heart beating fast?" Charlie asks with concern. Without a word Nick storms off. "Nick!" He calls.

The others are confused on what just happened. Did they do something wrong? Charlie is so worried about his boyfriend. He glances at his friends, then at the door, and he makes a choice chasing after him.

–

Nick makes his way to Tao's kitchen with blurry vision, and he leans against the counter – sliding down it. He can feel his chest tighten as he sweats. His breathing is out of control. There was too much on his plate at once. Eventually he was going to snap. This is him snapping. Nick can barely hear footsteps getting closer.

"Nick?" Charlie calls as he walks around the corner and see's his boyfriend having a full blown panic attack. "Hey, hey'" Charlie murmurs, crouching down, and meeting his eyes.

Nick touches Charlie's arms; desperate, to feel something. To feel him. Charlie fidgets with the hem of Nick's shirt. 

"Here let me take this off ..." Charlie whispers, lifting his shirt off. He then places his hand on Nick's bare chest, "Can you feel my hand?" He asks.

All Nick could do was nod. He couldn’t speak, not even make a noise. It was all trapped inside him.

"Okay ... lift my hand with your breaths." Charlie instructs, using his other hand to brush away the hairs that fell in Nick’s face.

Nick concentrates on his breathing, but focusing on his boyfriend’s hand. It helps him know that he's right there to help him calm down.

"Thank you ..." Nick finally speaks, causing Charlie to smile softly.

"Of course, I love you," Charlie says, and he caresses his boyfriend’s face – kissing his forehead.

Hours later everyone's asleep except for Charlie. He's too worried about his boyfriend. Nick's done everything to help him, and he feels so useless that he cant help him. Charlie turns his body only to see Nick asleep, and scoots closer, before hugging him nuzzling his nose against his cheek.

T R U H A M

"Alright everyone take five!" Coach Singh yells. Nick is relieved they get an actual break. Sai, Christan, and Otis begin to approach Nick.

"Hey Nick, you coming to my party?" Otis asks. He had honestly forgot Otis was throwing a party – celebrating starting six form.

"Yeah it’s gonna be lit,” Sai comments, causing Nick to think. He had too much to do, but a party could be a great distraction.

"Maybe." Nick says. He thinks that he should just go, then chug a few drinks and leave. 

"Well if you do, bring Charlie," Christan suggests, causing Nick to smile. They’re nothing compared to Harry Greene, they actually support Nick.

“Okay." He murmurs, and they all smile before walking away.

–

Nick spots his boyfriend by the lockers and begins to approach him. He taps him on the shoulders, which sort of startles him.

”Hi.” Charlie says with a soft smile.

”Hey.” Nick replies leaning against the locker. “So Otis is throwing a party, and I wanna invite you,” Charlie smiles shyly.

”Yeah, but,” He pauses wondering if Nick is doing this to distract him. “You sure you wanna go with everything going on.”

Nick rolls his eyes scoffing, “Come on I just want one single day to relax,” He says making a valid point.

Charlie sighs, “Okay.” He agrees with a smile, causing Nick to also smile.

This could be good for him.

P A R T Y

The music is blaring so loud, and the sound of people chatting echos the room, They’ve only been here for thirty minutes and Nick already got carried away, which Charlie is starting to get worried about him. He's already had three drinks. Yet he’s on his way to his fourth one.

Charlie hops on the counter. "Don't you think you’ve had enough?" Charlie ask, in a concerned tone. Nick continues to take a sip.

"M'fine." He slur, chugging it down. This is sort of new to Charlie because he’s never seen Nick so drunk before, it’s kind of scary.

After a while he’s already chugged down five drinks, and Charlie’s about had enough. He walks towards Nick by the couch and grabs the drink from him.

”Okay Nick, you’ve had enough,” Charlie snaps, but Nick tries to tug it back.

”Oh my god Charlie, I said I’m fine,” He slurs, and Charlie grabs his wrist.

”Okay, come on, you’re coming with me,” Charlie demands, grabbing him to pull him outside.

–

Nick starts breathing heavily, as he begins to cry, and Charlie is confused why this keeps happening to him, and he really wants answers. Nick sits on the bench, followed with Charlie sitting beside him.

"Nick what's going on with you?" Charlie asks, desperate to know. He loves Nick and cares so much for him.

Nick sniffs, "I really love you ... but I don't think I wanna go to Kent." He sobs, it was confusing, because he realized he wants to do something he likes.

"Okay?" Charlie curiously says, placing a hand on Nick's back, rubbing it in circles.

"It's not that I'm scared of how you will react ... I’m just, I-I-I’m so scared of being away from you,” Nick slurs, drunkly. “I’ve just been so stressed lately and … and …”

Nick had forgotten how to speak. He wants to say so much more, except without talk, he wants to know how he feels, without feeling. Charlie can’t stand Nick crying. He wipes his tears with the pad of his thumb.

Charlie caresses his cheek. "Hey, it's okay … you don't have to have everything figured out right now," Charlie whispers in a sweet voice. “You can always talk to me if you feel stressed." 

Nick breath quickens, as he stares into Charlie’s eyes. Sometimes you don’t have to speak to let the person know how lucky you are to have someone like this in your life. You can just show them, with your actions.

Thats what Nick did.

Nick literally just hugs him so tightly – burying his face in his shoulder. Charlie smiles, before returning the hug – tangling his fingers in his soft, ginger hair. He protects him as he sobs. They finally pull away and Charlie stands up offering his hand.

"Come on. Let’s get you home." Charlie says, and Nick takes the hand, holding onto him for support.

–

( N E L S O N ) H O U S E

Charlie had thought this day would never come, he would never have to show up with his drunk boyfriend on his doorstep. Yet here he is with his drunk boyfriend on the doorsteps. Charlie rings the doorbell, while supporting Nick so he doesn’t fall over. Then Sarah answers with a mix of confusion and shock. She never thought her son was typically the one to drink. She has a look of worry that her son is drunk on her doorstep.

”Nick?” Sarah questions.

"Hey mama ... I'm so fucking drunk right now ...” He slurs, and letting go of Charlie, and practically stumbling inside past Sarah – followed by Charlie.

Sarah closes the door turning towards them. "Oh my, what happened?!" Sarah exclaims. Charlie doesn’t really know how to respond. He was the one supposed to look after Nick.

"I really tried to stop him," Charlie tells her, then interrupted by the sound of Nick plopping down on the couch, causing Charlie to sigh.

He approaches him, and grabs his arm trying to pull him up. Nick just thinks it’s a funny game.

"Okay come on. Let’s get you to bed." Charlie grunt, finally pulling him up except he stumbles on Charlie, nearly knocking him over.

"Are you gonna tuck me in?" Nick slurs giggling, almost being dragged by Charlie up the stairs.

"Yep," Charlie mutters, concentrating on trying not to let him tumble down the stairs.

They finally reach the top. “Can I get a good night kiss?" Nick asks. Charlie think he’s really drunk, but he’s so cute. 

It causes him to smile. "Of course.” He murmurs, before shutting the door behind them. Sarah just smiles at the two.

–

Charlie helps Nick lay down, and covers him up with his comforter. Luckily, Nick didn’t give him any problems, and laid right down. As requested he tucked Nick, and sat down on the edge of the bed, but beside him. He couldn’t help but admire the beautiful boy. 

Charlie understands why he did it though. He needed a distraction from everything. And to clear his brain for a while. It was stressing him out too much, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

Charlie brushes a strand of hair that fell in his face. “Can you sleep with me?” Nick mumbles, causing Charlie to soften.

”Of course, I’ll just be right back,” Charlie says, and he places a soft kiss on his forehead, before getting up to exit the room.

–

Knowing Nick is probably going to have the worst hangover in the morning, Charlie decided to take care of him. He enters the kitchen mainly to get some medicine and a bucket, but he then spots Sarah leaning against the counter, with a tea cup in her hand as she takes a sip. Charlie smiles slightly at her, feeling embarrassed that she saw her son drunk.

He just walks towards the cabinet, grabbing a cup – the he walks towards the sink, pouring some water to fill it up. 

"So what happend?" She asks, and Charlie turns around to face her. He was really hoping she wouldn’t ask that question.

Charlie sighs. "I guess he wanted a distraction from everything, and it got way out of control," He tells her, with honesty. "Sorry," He mutters, setting the water down on the counter.

“It’s okay love,” She smiles, also setting her tea down beside her.

Charlie looks down, “I’m worried about him,” He sighs, because he needed to tell at least someone. It did feel good to tell her.

Sarah sighs, “Yeah ... me too.” She agrees, she sort of understands Charlie. "It feels like … he’s scared of being on his own, that he can’t function properly with you by his side all the time,” 

Charlie looks down. It does feel like that. Nick did admit he was scared of being away from him. What if it had something to do with Charlie’s mental illness? Nick’s been so focused on helping Charlie, that he may have gotten too attached.

"Yeah ... I kind of got that feeling.” Charlie murmurs, before leaning against the counter as well. "I just ... don't know what to do anymore ..."

Charlie knows that if he thinks too much into it, he’s going to cry. Sarah notices he looks like he's about to cry. She approaches him – wrapping her arms around the boy. Charlie hugs back smiling. He’s always been jealous of how Nick has a mom like her.

They pull away. "You're doing your best daring," She says, with a smile.

"Thanks." Charlie chuckles, smiling in return.”

–

Charlie makes it to Nicks room with his medicine and a bucket. Charlie sets the medicine on his nightstand, and the bucket on his side as well. He then climbs under the comforter with Nick. He hugs him tightly wishing there was something more he could do to help.

But all that mattered right now is him being there.

Charlie nuzzles his nose against Nick’s cheek, inhaling his lovely sent that is his favorite thing to smell. He loves taking care of Nick for once, instead of Nick taking care of him.

Charlie kisses his cheek, and leans into his ear. "I love you so much," He whispers, kissing the side of his head.

–

A beam of sunlight shines through the window which wakes up Charlie, mostly because he’s a light sleeper. He turns over on his side, and glances over at his boyfriend who’s lying down on his side as well, and facing him. Charlie caresses his freckled – cheek, causing his beautiful eyes to flutter open.

"Hi." Charlie whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

Nick felt really ill right now, and he could feel himself about to throw up. He hated the feeling of his hangover, and how his stomach begins to lurch, making a retching sound as the vomit finally reaches his mouth.

Charlie takes that as an ‘help’ signal, and he reaches on the ground for the bucket bringing it up to Nick’s mouth, allowing him to empty his stomach. He really tries to not cringe at the gagging noise. Charlie rubs his back with care. After Nick’s done, he sets the bucket down on the ground.

Nick begins to massage his head in circles groaning. "Aw, fuck … my head is throbbing …” He complains, so Charlie reaches for the medicine and water on his nightstand, and hands it to him to take.

"Thanks." He says, his voice still a bit groggy. He accepts it, and swallows along with the water.

Charlie is very curious, of what the last thing Nick remembers or if he doesn’t remember anything.

"Do you remember last night?” Charlie asks, and Nick looks down, which is very obvious he does.

"Fuck I’m … I’m sorry," Nick mutters an apology, before nervously looking up at Charlie. "Are you mad?"

Charlie gives him a look. He hates that Nick thinks that. No matter what he does Charlie will always be in love with him.

"No, no of course not!" Charlie exclaims, reaching out to play with Nick’s hair. "Why would I be mad?" He says in a softer voice.

Nick clicks his tongue. "I dont know, maybe the fact that I don't want go to Kent." He reminds, causing Charlie’s face to soften.

Charlie sighs. "Nick I ... I want you to go somewhere you'd be happy." He tells him, caressing his cheek. “And if that is somewhere extremely far then … that’s okay.”

Nick smiles. He’s so lucky to have a boyfriend who supports him, but he’s still scared of being away from him. Nick doesn’t know who he is without Charlie.

Nick scoffs. “I love you." He smirks, and they start to lean in but Nick didn’t even expect it as his stomach lurches again.

Charlie reaches for the bucket on the floor once again and brings it up to him, and letting him empty his stomach again. After he’s done Charlie sets the bucket back down, and cups Nick’s cheek.

“Better?” Charlie asks, with a smile.

”Yeah.” Nick murmurs. This is why he usually doesn’t drink, because he hates hangovers.

”Also, I love you too,” Charlie replies, causing Nick to smile.

Charlie had got to the point where he believes everything will change, but everything is going to be okay.

He just wishes Nick feels that way too.

Chapter Text

B E A C H

"You nervous about tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

At their beach. The moonlight shinning through the window perfectly placed mostly on Nick who's lying on his side, as well Charlie doing the same. He’s softly caressing Nick’s freckled cheek – as they’re facing each other, gazing into each other’s beautiful eyes.

They’ve obviously had a sleepover. Charlie was wearing Nick's jumper and joggers as pajamas, which were a bit too big for him. They were both under the comforter. It’s a position they wished to stay in forever.

"You’re gonna be fine." Charlie whispers, with a smile. "I have everything planned out and it's gonna be perfect."

Nick chuckles, pulling Charlie closer giggling. He really tries to stop Charlie from doing too much for him, but Charlie never takes no for an answer.

"Can you tell me what it is?" Nick tries to get an answer, which only causes Charlie to smirk.

As if.

"No!" Charlie snaps playfully, and Nick puts him in a very hard position, by making the most abordable pout ever.

Charlie really wants to give in, but he knows it will be worth not knowing. So he has to stay strong.

"Please?" Nick begs.

"Absolutly not!" Charlie chuckles.

Nick then leans in closer. "What if, I just …” He whispers in Charlie’s ear. “tickle you!" Nick begins to tickle the boy all over the place, which causes him to laugh uncontrollably.

"Oh my god, st-stop!" Charlie gasp out in between giggles – squirming for freedom. After a few more tickles the laughing eventually dies down, causing them to catch eye contact.

Charlie smiles bringing his hand up to cup Nick’s face. “I hate you so much …” He mumbles as they lean in – giggling into the kiss.

Their lips move against each other slowly. Every time they kiss it feels exactly like they’re real first one. (Not the bonfire). 

Every time it feels magical.

–

( S P R I N G ) H O U S E

Today was Nick’s birthday, and he was going to be 17. Which is kind of weird to Charlie, that he’s almost an adult, but also at the same time attractive. Charlie’s been sitting on his floor wrapping Nick’s present for thirty minutes. Tori who’s sitting on his bed is tired of watching him.

“You’ve wrapped it three times already,” Tori complains, causing Charlie to scoff.

“Yeah, well I need it to be perfect,” Tori rolls her eyes at her brother’s ridiculousness.

Charlie had just finished it just in time for the doorbell to ring, and he rushes down the stairs to open the door revealing his perfect boyfriend. He’s always excited to see him. He tackles him with a hug – trowing his arms around his neck, and Nick chuckles stumbling back, before lifting him off the ground.

When he places him back down they come face to face. “Hi.” Charlie mutters, smiling.

”Hi.” Nick responds, leaning into kiss him softly on the lips.

Nick expects to just pull away but Charlie leans in further, pressing him against the wall. Charlie pull away as their faces so close to each other.

”Happy birthday,” He whispers, smirking.

”Thanks.” Nick responds.

–

T H E M E   P A R K

Charlie had hoped to make this the best birthday ever for his best boyfriend ever. So here he was at the best theme park ever – so here he was with his hands placed over his boyfriend’s eyes, to keep him from peeking and ruining his surprise. Nick was a bit taller than Charlie so it was hard to keep balance.

Charlie spotted Elle, Tao, Tara and Darcy already waiting for them to get to a stopping point so they could shout out loud.

"Please just give me a hint." Nick begs, but there wasn’t a point when they were so close.

Charlie roll his eyes, "Nick, we’re literally almost there,” Charlie smiles, staring the obvious.

He makes eye contact with Tao and Elle, before releasing his hands in one swift move. 

"SURPRISE!!” 

As they all shout in sync, Nick realizes he's at a theme park, with the ride going in so many directions, and the sound of people shouting. Everyone rushes to tackle the birthday boy in a hug. Nick chuckles hugging them back, and Charlie joins the embrace.

”Happy birthday, Nick!” Elle squeals, hugging him tighter.

”Happy birthday!” Tao says smiling.

“Happy birthday bisexual king!” Darcy shouts, which obviously annoys Tara about the things she says without thinking.

”Darcy …” Tara mutters.

–

The first thing Charlie practically begged Nick to go on was the ferris wheel – which he is definitely not a fan of heights. Nick is shaky terribly, because he is clearly afraid of how high up they are. Charlies peeks at him, and sees how adorable he is, Charlie slips his fingers to interlock with Nick's, making him less tense. It starts to move, and Nick closes his eyes, trying not to focus on how high he is.

The ferris wheel suddenly stops – confusing Nick why they stoped on the top. Charlie is the first one to see the beautiful sunset. Nick on the other hand is afraid to even open his eyes.

Charlie sighs, "Nick do you trust me? " He asks. Nick just knows that he’s only trying to get him to open his eyes.

"Yeah." He says anyway, and Charlie slowly takes Nicks hands, from his eyes, revealing the beautiful sunset. Nick’s eyes widened. How did he get so lucky? Nick just sits there admiring the beautiful sunset.

"Woah ... " He murmurs, wrapping an arm around Charlie.

"Yeah." Charlie smiles.

Nick turns to his boyfriend, "You are so amazing ..." Charlie blushes. “You know I would've still been happy if we cuddled in my bed the whole day,” Nick pokes Charlie’s dimple.

He knows that. But it doesn’t feel enough for him.

"'I love you." Charlie says with a soft smile.

Nick smiles "I love you,” He murmurs, as they lean in letting their lips connect.

Charlie had began to prepare himself when they kiss he doesn’t feel anything. But maybe he should stop. Every time they kiss it’s like they fall more and more deeply in love with each other.

–

They had played a few games, winning prizes, and going on rides. They had decided to eat dinner there, since it was pretty late. Right now Charlie was chatting with the group about random things, and mostly Nick, which they had gotten tired of hearing about. Soon Nick suddenly comes back with a huggable size teddy bear plushy.

Nick proudly hands it to Charlie. "Oh my god, Nick!" Charlie laughs taking it nearly stumbling back because of its weight. "It's not valentines day!" Charlie places it down on the picnic bench.

Nick scoffs, "Uh, can't I just show my love?" He teases, before kissing his adorable boyfriend’s cheek.

A few minutes later the six of them (Tao, Elle, Charlie, Nick, Tara, and Darcy) sitting on the picnic table, eating Nachos or hotdogs, and just chatting. Charlie’s sitting on Nicks lap who's hugging him from behind and resting his chin on his shoulder. Nick's had noticed Charle's been a bit stressed today, and when he's stressed he struggles to eat.
And there he is playing with his food

Nick nudges him. "You okay?" He whispers in his ear.

”Yeah just … yeah I promise,” He stammers quietly. Nick doesn’t want to push it out of him in front of the gang.

–

B E A C H   D A T E

Charlie has Nick's eyes blinded with his hands, so to not ruin the surprise date he had planned for him. He wanted it to be perfect. He took him to the designated spot, and places him directly in front of it. Charlie uncovers his eyes. Nick spots a bunch of fairy lights and candles surrounding the spot. There were a bunch of snacks and a huge projector, and a comfy couch.

"Char ... this is,” Nick looks at him completely speechless. "I love you." He murmurs smiling. Nick cups his face and kisses him softly on the lips. They then sit down on the couch as Nick wraps his arm around Charlie who cuddles into his side.

"So I made this film for you, and of course Tao kind of helped, but I just want to show you how much you mean to me,” Charlie explains, and Nick smiles even more, if that’s even possible.

They start the film.

‘This is a message for my perfect boyfriend who I love so much. Happy birthday Nick.’

There are short clips, long clips. There are funny moments, and sad ones. But there’s one specific clip that catches his eyes.

Nick records himself walking into his room finding Charlie so perfectly sprawled out on his bed, leaving no room. He lets out a familiar chuckle. 

“So I went to look get a glass of water, and this is what I walk into.” He whispers into the camera, flipping it to show Charlie. 

”Like I don’t fucking know how anyone could ever be this gorgeous,” He steps closer caressing his soft cheek.

The film finally ends with that single clip.

“Happy birthday Nick, and I love you so so so much!” Charlie says.

Nick looks at Charlie with teary eyes. "Charlie ... It's just another birthday … why?"

Charlie sighs, "I know but ... last time I kind of ... made you say I love you to me." He explains, causing Nick to chuckle.

"You didn't make me, I loved you since I first laid eyes on you." Nick says, and Charlie smiles at that.

“And that was the best gift I could’ve asked for,”

"And I know it's cheesy but—“

Nick laughs. "Oh it’s definitely cheesy but ... thank you." He says in the sweetest voice.

They lean in allowing their lips to connect. They fit perfectly, like a puzzle.

–

( N E L S O N ) H O U S E

As soon as they get back to Nick's house where Charlie had decided to sleep over. His mum actually let him since it was his boyfriend’s birthday. And the first thing they did was get under the covers and cuddle so close. Charlie is nuzzled in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, as Nick rubs his finger tips – grazing up and down Charlie’s arm.

"You seemed a bit stressed today.” Nick mentions. Charlie should’ve seen this coming. Nick knows him too well.

Charlie sighs. "Yeah … I mean I’ve been focus on helping you." He tells. Nick feels like he’s distracting Charlie from working on himself.

"I'm fine Char." Nick softly says. Charlie knows that’s not true.

"Nick you've been having panic attacks, and nightmares, that usually happens to me you know." Charlie states facts. He doesn’t want Nick to hide from him like he use to do.

Nick’s eyes flicker down. “I ... don't ... know." He stutters not know how to respond to that.

"Maybe you should get a therapist." Charlie suggests, causing Nick to scoff. That’s ridiculous.

"Char ..."

Charlie takes a deep breath. "Just … think about it, but maybe it will make things less stressful." Charlie says, and Nick nods. He will think about it, but no promises.

"Okay." He murmur's.

–

A few minutes later they had decided to open gifts. Which Charlie was very excited to give him his gift.

"Here." Charlie hands him the gift.

Nick digs in the bags and pulls out a very neat wrapped present in the shape of a square. He looks at Charlie with a smirk giving a look that says, ‘wow you wrapped this?’ He unwraps the present revealing a really nice box.

When he opens it he discovers a gold chain instead of a necklace, because Nick doesn’t seem like the necklace type. The chain has a locket attach to it. Nick opens the locket and it reveals, a familiar picture of Charlie sleeping on Nick’s bed just like in the film.

Nick smiles at it. "I remember you saying that this was your favorite photo of me, even though I really dont think so, but yeah." Charlie trails off, and Nick closes the locket, before tackling him in a hug, knocking him over.

"Thank you so much!" Nick says, before their lips connect.

Charlie smiles into the kiss, and he rolls over on top of Nick pinning both hands beside his head. Nick’s hands are place on Charlie’s hips.

"I mean ... your birthday isn't over yet." Charlie smirks. Nick definitely knows where this is going.

Their lips connect, beginning to move desperately against each other as they can hear each other panting heavily. Nick flips them over, so now he’s on top. He then he kiss down Charlie's neck whose hands graze gently over Nick's back.

Nick’s hands fidget with the hem of Charlie’s shirt. God they haven’t done this in so long.

"Can I?" Nick breaths, in between kisses on the side of Charlie’s jaw.

Charlie bites his lip to keep from making loud sounds. He nods eagerly.

"Yeah!" Charlie breathes, as he sits up a bit to allow him to take it off.

Charlie reaches for Nick’s shirt struggling to get it unbutton which causes them to giggle as Nick obviously has to help his boyfriend. Charlie flips them over and he just gets caught in Nick's beautiful eyes. Charlie caresses his cheek. Just staring into them.

He could do that forever and ever, and ever. Sometime he feels like this is all a dream.

But it’s not.

Chapter Text

𝙉 𝙄 𝙉 𝙀  𝙈 𝙊 𝙉 𝙏 𝙃 𝙎  𝙀 𝘼 𝙍 𝙇 𝙄 𝙀 𝙍

Charlie hasn't really mentioned much about his journey in the hospital to anyone other than Nick.

Nick also hasn't really mentioned much about how he felt dealing with Charlie being at the hospital. People who usually ask get the summary, but never the full story.

For Nick it’s always – ”Yeah. Charlie was in the physiatrics hospital, and I was sad."

And for Charlie it's always – “Yes I was in the physiatrics hospital, and I was very miserable, because they wouldn't let me kill myself.”

But the full story begins on –

N O V E M B E R

𝒩 ℐ 𝒞 𝒦

You know that saying that things get worse before they get better?

I think I understand that now.

After Charlie had told his parent about the incident with Ben Hope, the next day they went to the police. station to report him. They didn't have enough evidence to put him away, and Ben was technically still a minor, but I'm glad Charlie at least filed a restraining order against him.

I'm so proud of him for telling his parents.

By the end of November his parents had made an appointment for a facility that treats eating disorders and suicidal teens.

We both knew it was best for him, and it was worth a try. But the  doctor’s appointment wasn't until early December.

Things started to get really bad after that.

His eating disorder got worse. He started to get angry all the time. I can tell how bad the pain can get to him. I hate seeing him like that, it hurts so fucking much.

"Nick I said I wasn't hungry." Charlie says in this stern voice. Charlie was sitting against the headboard of my bed – his knees bent, as he puts his phone down, that he was scrolling on.

I walk in with a plate of food for Charlie since he hasn't ate breakfast or lunch. Charlie told me he didn’t want to eat, but him just ignored him, knowing he has to eat. I sit beside him, before handing him the food.

Charlie lets out an annoyed sigh, which I obviously know what it’s about.

"Charlie, you need to eat." I tell him sitting beside him. He needs to. I want him to.

Charlie clicks his tongue, "Nick what part do you not get that I said I fucking can’t?!” Charlie snaps, causing me to flinch.

This is like a new version of Charlie I haven’t seen before. I get why he gets angry, but if I’m being honest it kind of — scares me?

"I don't get why you won't fucking give up on me!"

I say silent. I’m shocked Charlie could ever say something like that.

I tell him everyday that I love him so fucking much. But no matter what he never believes me. That doesn’t stop me though from telling him ’I love you’.

Tears start to sting my eyes.

“I … I love you too much ..." I say so quietly, but Charlie senses the crack in my voice, causing his face soften.

"Nick, I’m ... I’m sorry." Charlie mutters. I know Charlie didn’t mean it though.

But it hurt.

—

And you know how he told me he use to self harm?

"Im sorry ... I didn't mean to.”

That sort of started up again.

A tear streams down Charlie’s damp cheek.

I was sitting on a towel at the beach with Charlie beside me. The wind was blowing hitting our faces – making our hair go crazy. It's dark, because it’s really late, but the moonlight is shining like a spotlight over us.

My heart breaks hearing Charlie cries. "It's okay." I say, as my own tears start to form.

"I just … hate feeling like this, and I don't wanna hold you back—“

"You're not!” I interrupt Charlie’s choked sob.

"But if you wanna break up with me I don't blame y—"

By then I’d already had enough of Charlie’s self insulting.

I cut Charlie off by pulling him into a tight hug. “Charlie, shut the fuck up … nothing you can say will make me fall out of love with you.” I made sure he had heard that.

And I just hold him. I held him so fucking tight.

And we cried.

—

He started skipping school a lot.

I'm trying my best to be there for him, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough. It got so bad to the point that Charlie's mum even let me stay over once to ‘keep an eye’ on him.

Probably the smartest choice she's ever made.

In the middle of the night a hear sounds. I check the time which showed; 2:00 AM. I noticed it’s Charlie, so I sit up. I keep hearing whimpering sounds, and heavy panting. I stand up from the floor mattress and sit on the edge of Charlie's bed.

I gently stroke Charlie’s cheek and plant kisses on his forehead and face.

I gently hush him.

"Hey Char... " I whisper, and Charlie shoots up breathing heavily. I can tell he’s been sweating. "Shh... you're okay, you're safe." Charlie hugs him, which he hugs in return – rubbing up and down his back.

"You didn't tell me your nightmares were back,"

Charlie sighs.

"I didn't want you to feel like you have to look after me." Charlie explains, and Nick's face softens at that

I’m always going to look after him.

"Can you … stay though?” Charlie asks softly. I want Charlie to feel safe.

”Yeah … of course.” I get under the covers with him and hold him so tight spooning him making sure he doesn’t disappear.

D E C E M B E R

When he had to leave was probably the saddest day of my life.

“You’re gonna be fine,” I say, before hugging Charlie so damn tight, afraid to let go.

When we pull away Charlie looks at me – knowing I’m about to cry. He doesn’t wanna see me cry.

"Please don’t cry …” Charlie begs. “You’re gonna make me cry." He says with a slight smile. But I tear up anyway. I hide it by hugging Charlie again even tighter.

"Sorry." I choke on my sob, and Charlie rubs my back holding me.

"Don’t be sorry." He tells me running his fingers through my hair, which I’d do anything to make that last forever.

We both were scared to death. Though we knew it was the right choice for him. It was worth a try.

It was hard being without Charlie.

He never called me from the clinic. I didn’t know how to call him because I didn’t know the number. Even if I did I don’t know what I would say.

I tried to keep myself busy by distracting myself. I had learned how to drive. I applied for a job as a lifeguard. I prepared myself for sixth form this autumn. I really wasn’t that nervous about starting sixth form. Elle was definitely nervous.

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m too focused about Charlie or that I just don’t care.

Over that time we met, Tara and Darcy. Elle had met them at Higgs. Tara and Darcy were very obvious from the start, so it wasn’t really a shocker when they announced they were dating.

They were super nice. Darcy was a bit chaotic though, but really nice.

"You've been a bit quiet ... wanna talk about it." Tara asks me. We had went on a walk on the beach, because I called Tara.

Despite the fact it was extremely late Tara came with no hesitation. She didn’t even ask why I wanted to walk this late. 

Tara’s the only person who I feel like I can talk to, besides Charlie. She always takes me seriously and hears me out.

I stop walking, and turn to Tara. I really tried to say something, but nothing came out. I just couldn’t help but break down into tears.

Tara just hugged me so tight, and I buried my face into her shoulder.

"I- I miss him s- so fucking much …" I sob as Tara rubs up and down my back.

She never questioned why I cried. I guess she was waiting on me to tell her.

In mid December, Charlie phoned me from the clinic for the first time.

"Hello?"

"Nick …” I freeze as I hear that familiar soft voice. I just know it’s Charlie.

But I have no idea what to say.

"Charlie … is- is that you?" I stammer, and I hear Charlie chuckle.

"Yeah." Charlie murmurs, causing tears to form in my eyes.

I couldn’t help it.

"H- hi,” I half chuckle and half sob.

"Hi, baby … how are you?" Charlie says in the sweetest – missable voice.

It’s that name. ‘Baby.’ I just wanna kiss him so bad.

"I'm okay … how are you?” I ask, and I hear Charlie laugh.

”I’m okay, I mean it’s not the best here but it’s … you know,” He tells me, and of concourse I believe him, but I’ll never understand it.

There’s a pause.

”I missed you so much,” Nick croaks, and I can feel Charlie forming a smile – doing that cute little lip biting he does, scrunching his cute little nose.

"I've missed you too." Charlie replies. "I'm sorry … I didn’t call you."

No. No.

I hate the s-word.

"No. Don't you dare say sorry.” I demands. "You um … had your reasons."

Charlie scoffs.

"Yeah, I just ... didn't want to worry you.” Charlie murmurs, which is completely understandable.

For him maybe. 

But for me —

"I'm your boyfriend, that's what I do.” I remind him. “I'm always gonna worry about you Charlie,”

Once again it’s like a magical touch as I can feel him smirk.

"I love you …” Charlie whispers so quietly, I almost didn’t hear him.

I just smile as a tear streams down my face.

"I love you … so much." Nick replies.

I felt like a lot of weight has been lifted after talking to Charlie. I felt like we can be is now. I started visiting him with his family ever since that phone call.

I stare out the window of Charlie’s family's car and I guess Tori had somehow sensed my anxiousness, because it’s the way she takes my hand in hers, squeezing it – and giving me a slight smile as if to be saying; You're gonna be okay.

I only smile back at her.

I feel like my heart had stopped functioning completely as I’m face to face with my gorgeous boyfriend.

I just smile at Charlie – which he smiles back at me. I just can't help but run towards him, as he runs towards me.

I don’t care how many people are here – I lift Charlie up, causing his legs wrap around my waist, and arms around my neck. I spin him around, as we laugh like kids.

I manage to sadly set him down. Charlie’s hands rub up and down my shoulder blades, before sliding up to cup my face. I rest my hands on Charlie's tiny waist. We lean in kissing each other like it’s been years.

Tears begin escaping our eyes.

We pull away and Charlie strokes my cheek.

"I love you." Charlie chokes, smiling just as I imagined on the phone call.

"I love you." I croak. My eyes flicker down to his lips then to meet his eyes. We find ourselves leaning back in for another kiss.

"Okay, okay, you guys that's enough." Jane interrupts, smiling awkwardly. Nick steps back and Jane turns to face her son with Julio and Tori beside her. Jane hugs Charlie.

“Hi. How are you doing?" She murmurs, after pulling away.

"I'm doing better." Charlie smiles, then Tori hugs him so tight.

“I love you,” She tell him, which Charlie smiles at.

Jane and Julio join in as a family group hug. It surprises me and Charlie how Jane turned to me.

”Nick? You gonna join or what?” She asks, and I just chuckle join in the hug. 

Charlie’s mum made lots of mistakes in the past, but I can tell she’s trying her best.

"So, Tao looks a bit lost without you,” I start, as we’re on a walk – hand in hand after Charlie had caught up with everyone.

“He keeps sending pictures of you at the most random time, and asks me to rate them out of ten,”  

Charlie laughs at that. “Do I even wanna know where he gets them from?” He asks, and I immediately shake my head.

“Probably not.” I smile. Charlie stops and turns to me.

”Well what do you rate them?” Charlie asks, causing me to blush. I reach my hand out to cup his face, and I lean in closer.

”An infinite … you know you always look hot.” I say, before kissing him.

I pull away, smiling and we continue walking.

“Also, Elle’s painted three self portraits of you, and claimed it was an accident" I say, and Charlie smiles.

"And you?” Charlie asks, and I sigh, and click my tongue.

"Well let’s see ... I've had a few minor and major panic attacks, my nightmares are back, I've been so stressed lately. and yeah.” I tell him, and Charlie looks so shocked.

“Nick I … I no idea, I should've called you." I quickly get in front of Charlie – face to face, taking both his hands in mine.

"Shhh, Char … don't be sorry ..." I whisper.

"But Nick, you were suffering all alone and I didn't' call you—"

"Would you shut the fuck up …" I cut him off, giggling into the kiss.

Our lips move slowly against each other. I’ve missed this.

I’ve missed this so damn much.

Maybe it’s just me hoping for the best, but honestly — I think it helped.

I really do.

I visited Charlie a few times in the hospital. 

I didn’t want to have to spend Christmas without him.

“Merry Christmas, Charlie,” I whisper, to Charlie who was taking a nap beside me on his bed in the hospital. 

His eyes flutter open.

”Merry Christmas.” He says back to me.

”Also …” I pull a mistletoe out of my bag and hold it above us. Charlie smiles sleepily.

”You’re ridiculous,” He tells me, before kissing me.

I smile leaning in. And we just made out for a few.

J A N U A R Y

I didn’t want to spend New Years without him.

”Happy New Years,” Charlie says turning to me. We were outside watching the fireworks.

I smile. “Happy New Years,” I cup his cheek and kiss him.

It would never be the same without Charlie.

A P R I L

I had also decided to spend the whole day with Charlie on his birthday. I walked his room with lots of balloons and a cupcake with a lit candle that read; sixteen. I see how gorgeous he is when he’s asleep.

I start to sing the happy birthday song, “Happy Birthday to you,” I sing, I notice how he shifts a bit.

”Happy birthday to you!” I continue singing, and Charlie sit up rubbing his eyes. His bed hair is everything.

”Happy Birthday to my Char!” I see him start to smile. I sit on the edge of his bed. “Happy birthday to you!” I finish

”You’re the best,” He mutters, and I kiss his cheek. I hold out the cupcake towards him.

”Make a wish,” I say, and watch him blow out the candles.

”What did you wish for?” I ask.

”You.” Charlie replies, and it makes me blush.

I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips.

J U L Y

Charlie came home in early July. He just showed up at my doorstep. We both hug each other so fucking tight wishing we could stay here forever.

I don’t think I’ve love anyone that much. I love him more to an anyone else.

Chapter Text

𝙉 𝙄 𝙉 𝙀  𝙈 𝙊 𝙉 𝙏 𝙃 𝙎  𝙀 𝘼 𝙍 𝙇 𝙄 𝙀 𝙍

Charlie hasn't really mentioned much about his journey in the hospital to anyone other than Nick.

Nick also hasn't really mentioned much about how he felt dealing with Charlie being at the hospital. People who usually ask get the summary, but never the full story.

For Nick it’s always – ”Yeah. Charlie was in the physiatrics hospital, and I was sad."

And for Charlie it's always – “Yes I was in the physiatrics hospital, and I was very miserable, because they wouldn't let me kill myself.”

But the full story begins on –

N O V E M B E R

𝓒 𝓗 𝓐 𝓡 𝓛 𝓘 𝓔

Sometimes I hate myself for letting Nick down by suffering all by myself. I know he was only trying to help.

And I kept pushing him and everyone else away. I don't know why I got angry – why I was so angry at everyone.

I guess you just get to the point where you hate everything.

I shut out my friends.

"You know you can talk to us." Tao says, siting next to Elle whom they're both sitting across from me on the floor as I’m on Nick's lap.

"Yeah we're just really worried about you." Elle says, softly.

Charlie only scoffs.

"Well can you stop?" I snap, making Tao and Elle flinch. "I don't have to tell you everything!" I yell even shocking myself, I get off Nick's lap, and grab my stuff.

Nick turns around.

"Uh- Char!" Nick stammers, but I walk out Tao's room anyways. Nick looks at Tao and Elle who are shocked with silence. Nick hears the door shut, so he stands up as well – grabbing his stuff.

"I- I got to walk him home." Nick says, exiting Tao's room.

I shut my sister out.

"Hey, you okay today?" Tori whispers as she sits beside Charlie on his bed.

"I'm fine Tori! Why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that?!" I yells, and I take a deep breath, feeling bad. "I just wanna be alone okay?” I sigh.

Tori nods. "Okay." She gets up and exits my room.

I shut my parents out.

"Charlie, you can't just keep not eating dinner." Mum says, and Tori looks at me knowing there's going to be a fight.

"We're just worried about you.” Dad says, squeezing my shoulder. I just ignore them as I continue to play with my food.

"Charlie, please eat something ..." Mum tells me. I put my fork down, getting annoyed.

"Can you just stop pestering me about food." I snap. It goes quiet. I just get up walking off.

And I hate myself for this but — I shut my own boyfriend out.

"You need to eat." Nick tells me, almost begging.

I slam my fork down. "I said I can't!" Nick flinches at my snap.

Nick scoops up some peas on my plate with my fork, offering it to me, and honestly I feel forced.

"You're not even trying.” Nick says concerned.

"You're making feel like shit, I said I fucking can’t did you not hear me!” I yell, but Nick clearly isn't doing this anymore, so gets up and leaves.

He came back later that night.

I was sitting on my bed, waiting for Nick, because Tori had called him, yelling at him for leaving me. The door burst opens – no knocking, it just flies open.

I stand up and Nick rushes towards me and crushes into me hugging me so tight I immediately hug him back.

"I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to.” I tell him in a croaked voice.

"Fuck no, I'm sorry!" Nick argues. “I shouldn't have left you!”

I pull away revealing my tear stained face, which Nick holds.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you.” I tell him, as a tear streams down my cheek.

"Darling, Shhh ..." Nick hushes me as he wipes my tear with the pad of his thumb. His touch creates warmth inside of me.

I stare into his eyes, which are also watery like mine.

I can't help but crash into a second hug, as I break down into sobs. Nick just holds me so tight.

"C- can you hold me on the bed?" I ask. Nick pulls away and smiles softly.

"Always.” Nick says. He moves on to the bed – sliding up against the headboard, his knees slightly bent, and he reaches his arms out to me.

I climb into his lap allowing him to hold me like a baby close to his chest.

It makes me feel so fucking safe.

He makes me feel safe.

I wrap my arms around his torso as I lay my head on his chest. Nick's chin rests on my head.

He kisses my head, "I love you." Nick chokes. “I love you so fucking much.” He just keeps repeating it, and I just hug him tighter.

"I love you." I whisper.

Out of everyone in the world why is Nick happening to me.

D E C E M B E R

I'm glad I went to the hospital when I did. There were a lot of rules there.

"You have to give up your phone." Dr. Casey says who’s sitting across from my parents and sister. ”It’s for everyone’s safety,”

"Okay, but now do I talk to my friends?" I ask, nervously bouncing my knees up and down.

"Well there’s a landline you can use." She tells me.

I take a look of my a lock-screen one last time, which was a picture of me kissing Nick's cheek. I hand it to her.

"Okay, you should hang the schedule up somewhere in here so you will remember, and inpatients aren't allowed to leave their room unless  instructed to." Dr. Casey explains.

"Оkау." I murmur.

It's also where I met Geoff. He was really funny which made it easier to talk to him, because he never judges me.

"Hi Charlie." Geoff says offering his hand which I shake.

"Hi." I murmur.

"I'm Geoff.” He introduces with a smile.

"Shall we take a seat and get to know each other?" He asks. I smile softly.

"Okay ..." I murmur.

I met some nice people.

"I win." Carlos says, as we’re all playing uno on the carpet.

"That's not fair Carlos, you totally cheated!" Layla calls out.

"How do you win every time!?" I ask laughing.

"I'm just naturally good.” Carlos smirks, dramatically crossing his arms.

"Play again?" Taylor asks, and we all agree.

Probably not Nick or life long friends, but it was nice.

For the longest time I didn't even see the point of trying to get better, because I was pretty fucked up anyways.

But then I thought about the people who actually believe in me.

My friends, my sister, and Nick. Not sure ip my parents do. Maybe my dad. I know my mum’s trying though. Dr. Casey, Geoff, my teachers, and my hospital friends.

It wasn't easy, but I tried. I really did.

"Charlie, you can do this." Dr. Casey tells me, trying to get me to eat food off the plate thats in front of me. I put down my fork.

"I can't." I tell her. She leans in closer to me.

"I know you can." She tells me. I stare at the food on my plate, and know who I'll make proud.

So I pick up the fork.

—

I called my parents and my sister sometimes. I didn't call Nick.

Or my friends, because I didn't want them to worry. Especially Nick.

What would I tell him: I’m so pathetic, I’ll never get better.

We had visitation days, and every time I wondered if Nick would come. He didn't. I don't blame him though.

I never called him. He probably thinks I don't wanna see him.

"Nick wants to see you." Tori says sitting on a picnic bench – across from me.

I look down. "Oh." I say.

I wanna see him do fucking bad. Something is telling me that I shouldn’t.

"He's my favorite." She says, and I look up. "Your other friends are quite annoying.” I smile.

So I did call him.

"I missed you so much.” Nick croaks, and it breaks my heart.

"I missed you too." I reply. I missed hearing his voice. "I'm sorry I didn't call you." I say.

"No. don't you dare say sorry." Nick says. “You um … had your reasons."

"Yeah I just ... didn't want you to worry.” I say.

"But I'm your boyfriend, that's what I do. I'm always gonna worry about you Char." I can feel Nick smile.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you ... so much." Nick replies.

And I could honestly cry. I could just cry and cry.

Because I love him. I love him so fucking much. He's the love of my life. I wanna be with him forever and ever and ever.

He always stays no matter now many times I push him away.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask.

"Yeah, anything.“ Nick replies.

"Can you give me Tao and Elle’s number?" I ask.

"So did they say when you're coming home?" Tao asks.

"Uh. They don't really tell you ... It depends on how you’re doing.”

It's silent.

"I hate that you were so ... and I had no idea." Tao tells me. It's special having friends who care about you.

"I was good at hiding it." I try to say this in a happy tone. Tao notices though.

"Yeah but I missed it ... I totally missed it." Tao shocks me.

Now what I really hate is people feeling bad for me.

"Charlie Francis Spring." Elle says with her beautiful voice. Elle’s voice has always had a magical effect on people.

"Is that you?" I know she’s smirking through the phone.

"Hey Elle.” I chuckle.

"I'm glad you called.” Elle says, causing me to smile.

"Me too …” I reply “So who is this Tara and Darcy I’m hearing?”

”Oh my god okay so, they’re really nice, especially Tara,” Elle says. “Darcy’s a bit chaotic but, I think you’ll like her,”

"I can’t wait for you to meet them ... you’d really love them." Elle says, and I smile at that.

It’s when I realize that I actually have something to look forward to when I get back.

I remember that one night in December, Nick was spending Christmas with me. It was Christmas Eve.

I asked him—

"Why haven't you broken up with me yet?"

Tears began to form in my eyes.

He looked at me like I said I wanted to die.

But instead he said—

"I can't just stop being in love with you.” He croaked.

He held me, and we cried, ourselves to sleep. So pathetic right?

It took a lot of begging for the Doctors to allow him to sleepover. They understood we were both sad. And we both needed it.

J A N U A R Y

Soon I was finally able to be released.

"You're gonna be fine ... I believe in you." Dr. Casey says holding my face. I just hug her. ”Just trust yourself.”

I’m going to miss this.

—

"Charlie, I know it’s scary, but I know you can do it" Geoff tells me as we’re having our last session.

”You’re ready for this.”

—

Tori takes my hand as we’re about to drive off.

"Ready?" She asks. I smile at her.

Am I ready? I don’t know. Will I ever be? Probably not.

But one thing I do know is you kind of just have to go for it, and hope for the best.

"Yeah." I reply.

—

My mum knocks on my door.

"Yeah?" I call, and she comes in.

"Dinners ready in five.” She says. “It says lasagna on your meal plan is that okay?" She asks.

"Yeah." I murmur with a smile.

"Okay." She almost closes the door but I don’t want her too.

"Mum!” I call, and she opens it back up.

"Yeah?" She says.

"Do I have time to say hi to Nick, I promise I'll be back in time for dinner.” I ask. I thought she would say ‘no’ and not trust me.

But instead—

She smiles. "Okay."

—

Nick opens the door and I could just cry. I hug him so tight afraid if I let go he’ll  disappear forever.

I don't want that.

Not now. Not ever.

—

Our spot. That will never change.
Here we were sitting at the beach, I had one of Nick’s jumpers on, and my head was lying on his shoulder as his arm was wrapped around me.

”Remember when you kissed me here at the bonfire?” Nick asks, and I become embarrassed remembering everything.

”I- yeah.” I stammer. “Sorry,” I mumble.

”Don’t be. Look where we are now,” Nick says.

Yeah. Look where we are now.

Chapter Text

Clothes were scattered everywhere as Nick and Charlie are cuddling. Charlie’s asleep, but Nick just woke up. He plays with his boyfriend’s dark curls, causing Charlie's beautiful eyes to flutter open.

"Hi." Charlie murmurs, with a faint smile.

"Hey." Nick replies, stroking his cheek, "You’re so adorable."

"Mh, shut up." Charlie mumbles, cuddling closer into Nick’s chest.

“Ah, it’s been so long since we’ve done this,” Nick complains.

”Too long.” Charlie mumbles.

—

T R U H A M

Right now Nick and Charlie were eating lunch together. Nick had this emergency rugby practice during lunch. So Charlie was waiting for him on the bleachers. Right now Nick was on break and sitting with Charlie and Tao on the bleachers. Charlie was straddling Nick as their hand were intertwined.

"You were so hot out there." Charlie flirts, causing Nick to blush.

"Yeah?" Nick smiles.

Charlie leans in, "Yeah.” They connect their lips as Nick’s finger trails up and down his back.

"Guys stop with the PDA." Tao groans. They pull away annoyed. They just wanna kiss in peace.

—

N I C K ‘ S   H O U S E

Later in the day they finally have alone time. You’d probably think they’d make out but no, they were watching a movie. Nick and Charlie were on the couch at Nick's house cuddling. Nick was lying up against the couch arm as Charlie was curled – leaning against Nick's chest, sound asleep.

Nick notices how cute he is – he moves the loose curls out of his face, and kisses his forehead. Charlie turns on to his side and pulls the blanket up further to his chin. He makes a mumbling sound, which Nick thinks is the cutest.

"Hey Char." Nick whispers in his ear.

"Hm?" Charlie mumbles, getting cozier.

"Is this movie boring or something?" Nick teases smiling. It was a marvel movie which Charlie hated.

"M'just tired." Charlie responds weakly

"Wanna sleep on my bed?" Nick whispers. Charlie thinks Nick is the best boyfriend ever.

Nick can feel Charlie nod against his chest. "Can you carry me?" Charlie asks quietly, causing Nick to give a warm smile.

"Of course.” Nick whispers, and he picks up Charlie like a baby and carries him upstairs, and into his room. Nick gently sets him down on his bed.

Nick pulls the cover over Charlie, before getting underneath with him. Charlie cuddles into Nick's chest. He’s so lucky to have Nick.

"Thank you … for always taking care of me." Charlie mumbles, causing Nick to chuckle.

"You don't have to thank me, I love taking care of you." Nick says as he plays with Charlie's curls.

Charlie smiles, "Me too ... I love taking care of you." He tells him, causing Nick to blush.

—

P A R K

Elle had made friend with Tara and Darcy when Charlie was away for treatment. He doesn’t know them very well – he didn’t ask to. But it would be rude not to. Besides Tara was the one who texted Charlie to hangout, so this was his chance. They both were sitting on a park bench just chatting about random things.

"We don't hang out as much … just the two of us." Tara reminds.

But it was true.

"I've just … always thought of you as one of Elle's friend’s." Charlie looks around nervously, and Tara nudges his shoulder.

"We can also be friends you know, Charlie." Tara smirks, and Charlie rolls his eyes, sighing.

"Yeah just … thank you for being there for Nick when I couldn't." Charlie smiles shyly.

"You don’t have to thank me, I wanted to." She smiles. "He's so in love with you." Charlie looks down, and blushes.

"I don't know why." Charlie mutters. He’s always made himself believe he’s unlovable.

"I know." Tara says, causing Charlie to scoff – thinking that’s ridiculous.

"You don't even know me." Charlie tells her.

"I know enough." She says. “And I observe people … giving the way he looks at you, it’s really obvious,”

Charlie looks up and makes eye contact with her. He decides to change the subject.

Charlie clears his throat. "Um, did anything else happen while I was gone?" He asks, nervously bouncing his leg up and down.

”Well … there was one thing,” Tara says, and this honestly worries Charlie.

"What?" Charlie says, curiously.

"He uh … he called me in the middle of the night, and like … broke down crying." She said, and Charlie realizes that Nick had never mentioned any of this to him.

"Oh … shit." Charlie had no idea how to reply to that.

"But I had walked to his house, and decided to stay the night. I knew he felt lonely and needed a friend,” Tara explains, and it makes Charlie feel a little bit better. He’s so thankful that Nick didn’t have to go through that alone and that Tara was there.

"After I was released, Nick couldn't sleep alone because of how stressed out he was, and afraid of losing me.” Charlie looks down frowning. "I um … had to sneak out some nights, to be with him.” Tara had sensed that this subject was too hard to talk about.

"Um, you coming to Darcy’s party tonight?" Tara asks changing the subject.

"Yeah." Charlie says smiling softly.

P A R T Y

Parties aren’t really a Nick and Charlie thing, but they honestly just wanted to have fun. Nick has his arm around Charlie, and he spots the rugby lads; Otis, Sai, and Christian. They all approach each other.

"Hey, Nick!" Otis says over the ear ringing music.

"Hey Mate," Nick murmurs. They start to chat, about uni stuff, which Charlie isn’t really paying attention.

“Yeah, yeah, well I’m probably going to study sports science at Leeds.” Nick confesses.

”Awh that’s cool man,” Otis replies.

By Charlie not paying attention – he’s focused on something else. His eyes flicker down to Nick’s lips, and it’s like he can’t take this anymore. They had agreed to have fun; so let’s have fun.

"Okay well it was nice talking to you lot but … we’ll talk later we gotta go." Charlie literally just drags Nick away from them – leaving him confused.

"What? Char-" Nick stammers, but he’s being dragged into a random bathroom. Charlie closes the door and locks it. Charlie slams Nick against the wall, causing him to wince at how hard his back hit it.

"Fuck!" Nick grunts, but he’s cut off by Charlie immediately kissing him.

Nick only pulls away, shocked.

"What." Nick murmurs confused. His eyes flicker up and down Charlie’s figure.

Charlie slips his fingers through the belt loop of Nicks jeans, pulling him closer. Charlie knows exactly what he's doing, and what he’s doing to Nick –  Nick in the other hand knows that Charlie's only helping him forget his problems, but also it’s really turning him on.

Nick kisses him – returning the same force. It’s not like they haven’t been rough before. It's as if they're starving for each other. Nick grabs the back of Charlie’s thighs and lifts him on the counter so smooth.

Nick starts kissing down Charlie’s neck, sucking on the weak spots, which causes Charlie to whimper or moan. Charlie tries to unbutton Nick's shirt, while feeling firm kisses on his neck. Finally, getting it unbuttoned they pull away colliding their foreheads against each other, panting heavily as Charlie slides it off Nick's shoulders, then Nick immediately takes Charlies shirt off.

Charlie hops off the counter kissing Nick forcefully, and it causes them to stumble into the walk in shower, accidentally triggering the handle, pouring water. They grin as they pull away, but their noses are still touching, and Nicks back against the wall.

"Nick, oh my god." Charlie laughs, and Nick smiles lifting up Charlie, causing his legs to wrap around his waist, and arms around his neck. Nick walks under the shower.

“Oh my god, Nick no!" Charlie protested laughing, as he tangles his hands in Nick’s hair.

Charlie hops down and they kiss again. Charlie guides them out of the shower, and into an empty room. They try to undo each other belts and jeans while kissing. They're now in their boxers. Charlie pushes Nick on the bed, before crawling into his frame. Charlie kisses down his neck, as Nick runs his fingers through his wet curls.

Charlie pulls away, then his hand trails all the way down to—

(Yeah I’m not going there.)

They're now both under the covers, and Charlie looks at Nick who's asleep, and just admires him. He scoots closer, and hugs him lying his head in his chest.

It’s moments like this where he wishes it could last forever.

Chapter Text

APRIL 27th, (Charlie’s Birthday)

Nick had remembered surprising Charlie for his birthday while he was in the hospital. It was the first time he’d seen Charlie smile in a long time. So here he was climbing through Charlie's window to surprise him again. He had a cupcake that had a number sixteen candle, he had also a kazoo. He puts the noise maker in his mouth, blowing it. Charlie shifts awake, wondering what that annoying sound is. His eyes flutter open.

"Happy Birthday!" Nick shouts, causing Charlie to give a weak smile.

"You're so crazy." Charlie mutters, and Nick sits on the edge of his bed.

"Wanna make a wish?" Nick asks.

"Nick, you are my wish." Charlie tells, which causes Nick to blush. He’s everything Charlie hoped and dreamed for. Nick lays down beside him, and facing him.

He caresses Charlie’s cheek. "I love you.” Nick whispers, smiling.

"I love you." Charlie replies back, smiling. Nick smirks pulling his body on top of him.

”Argh!” Nick groans, causing Charlie to giggle.

—

c h a r l i e

The whole gang had came over to Charlie's house for his birthday sleepover. If Charlie didn’t have anything planned of course Nick would’ve went through the same amount of trouble he did. They were all chatting up a conversation – except for Nick and Charlie who were obviously making out on the couch, with Charlie’s legs laid over Nick’s, as they grin against each others lips. That is all ruined when a pillow is thrown at them, causing them to jolt apart.

"Do you guys ever stop making out?" Tao asks in a snarky tone, that was the last thing Charlie needed right now.

Charlie scoffs. “Do you ever stop complaining,” He retorts, which Tao responds by flipping him off.

–

They had all grouped together to plan a list of things to do on Charlie’s birthday – which they actually agreed on. Activities that they would do include: watch a movie, go to the arcade, play card games. They were currently on activity one.

They were already a step ahead by having a ton of blankets sprawled out everywhere on the couch. Nick was cuddled into his boyfriend’s chest, it’s honestly like he could stay here forever, but it only lasted until the movie ended. Everyone else were split into their own little pairs: Tara and Darcy, and Elle and Tao.

“That’s gotta be the gayest thing I’ve ever seen,” Darcy points out, a gay couple not even making out but literally just kissing.

”Darcy!” Tara hisses, pushing her playfully.

Charlie clears his throat dramatically, “Have we been invisible this whole time?” He teases, causing everyone to laugh.

–

a r c a d e

Charlie and Nick hadn’t hung out here in a while. This place was missable. He was excited to plan it for his birthday. The very first thing Nick and Charlie approached was the photo booth obviously. Except it was too small for both of them to fit.

"Why don't you just sit on my lap.” Nick offers, and Charlie smiles brightly. Problem solved.

"Okay.” Charlie chuckles, sitting down as his arms wrap around Nick’s neck.

Charlie suddenly ruffles Nick’s hair making it all messy, but fucking adorable in his eyes.

"Hey! What was that for!?" Nick exclaims trying to fix his hair back, which only makes Charlie chuckle.

"Nick it’s fine, you look so cute like that." Charlie says, smiling.

"You're annoying …" Nick mutters quietly, looking down.

"But you love me?" Charlie asks in the cutest way.

"Yes!” Nick smiles kissing his cheek, then kissing him on the lips. The  photo booth clicks multiple times.

When they get out Nick drags Charlie away, “Uh- Nick!” 

“Come on we gotta go to the Mario Cart,” Nick say giggling.

When they get there Charlie looks at Nick smirking. “I think you just brought me here so you can lose.” Charlie says.

”I know I always lose … but it’s fun playing with you,” Nick says, causing Charlie to smile.

And Charlie was obviously right, Nick did lose. But Charlie gave him a kiss to make up for it.

–

c h a r l i e

They were currently playing their favorite game of uno. Charlie and Nick were at tie at one card left. Usually it would be Tao and Charlie, but Nick got lucky. Charlie’s usually the one to win every time, but today wasn’t it when he had to draw one card, because he didn’t have the card he needed. Nick places his last card down, and immediately stands up from his chair in victory.

"Yes, I win!" Nick says, causing Charlie to scoff dramatically.

"Baby, I'm… one hundred percent you cheated." Charlie chuckles, as he begins to collect everyone's cards to clean up. Nick walks around and hugs Charlie from behind, before kissing him on the cheek.

"Oh I cheated!" Nick asks, kissing his cheek once again. Charlie couldn’t help but smile, avoiding eye contact with their friends.

"Yeah ..." Charlie replies, closing the box of cards. Another kiss is stamped on his cheek.

"How?” Nick asks, causing Charlie to stutter.

"I uh, don’t know y-you just did." Charlie says, and Nick presses about kiss to his cheek.

"Darling ...” Nick chuckles. Kiss. "I think you need to–“ Kiss. “Except the fact that you lost." Nick says kissing him again.

"No but I-" Nick interrupts Charlie’s cute little voice by kissing him on the cheek repeatedly.

They pull away and their friend are just smiling. They had honestly forgot they were there which made them blush.

"You guys are the cutest.” Darcy squeals happily.

"Charlie, is the cutest." Nick says, intertwining their fingers, and Nick kisses the back of his hand.

–

Charlie and Nick were sitting against the headboard of his bed as Charlie was cuddle into Nick's chest. Charlie was wearing Nick's jumper which was big on him, but Nick found it cute. Nick was covered in a blanket feeling really cozy.

Tao on the other hand was chatting about a random story, that people were barely listening to. Everyone was barely staying awake and just wanted him to shut up. Charlie nuzzles further into Nick’s chest.

"You okay? You're like … shaking." Nick says, rubbing his arm up and down.

"M'cold .." Charlie mumbles, causing Nick to smile at his cuteness.

“You’re cold … still?” Nick asks, and Charlie nods. Nick’s face softens, and he takes off his blanket sacrificing it to his boyfriend, covering him up. Charlie pulls his hood over his head, and Nick hugs him closer to him. They had honestly forgotten Tao was tired.

"So and then my mum was like—"

"Tao can you just shut up?” Elle causes Tao to go silent. “It’s been twenty minutes of hearing you ramble and we’re all fucking tired." Elle snaps, but Tao clearly doesn’t get the message.

“But I haven’t told you the part when she—“

Everyone gets tired of him literally yelling 'shut up' in sync. Tao scoffs like a toddler sitting down.

"Rrrude." Tao mumbles under his breath.

–

Nick and Charlie were so cuddly under the covers of Charlie’s bed. They certainly did not wanna move. They would’ve thought they’d be the first ones to fall asleep but they could stay up forever talking.

”I um … got you something for your birthday,” Nick whispers looking down at Charlie who was lying comfortably on his chest.

”Oh Nick, you didn’t have to,” Charlie chuckles.

”I’m your boyfriend, of course I do,” Nick replies, smirking. He picks up a card from Charlie’s nightstand and hands it to him.

Charlie sees that it reads: Happy Birthday Char, on the front, and Charlie opens it and the card has a picture of him laying curled up in Nick’s bed, who probably found him like this. The sun was shining so gently on him, it causing Charlie to smile. He looks down at the not that reads:

I remember this picture in July. You came over when you were sad and I found you sound asleep, I immediately knew I loved you with the way I couldn’t stop staring at you.

Happy Birthday my Char.

- Love Nick

Tears form in Charlie’s eyes as he looks up at his lovely boyfriend. “I love you so much …” Charlie croaks.

“I love you t—“ 

Charlie interrupts him with a kiss on his lips, as he cups his face. They move their lips against each other’s slowly. This kiss is far too good to stop. It feels forced to pull away, but when they do they stare in each other’s eyes getting lost in them. They slightly grin, going in for a second kiss.

When they’re done making out they fall sound asleep in each other’s arms feeling so safe, and protected.