Chapter Text

Alrghteos fuckwads here be the greatest crackest fic to ever crack–

This is set in the world of TOWN where awful ass things like capitalisms and Ms Hinky Pinky and my mommy dearest, Dream.

And of course we got the greatest couples (we’re ignoring the fact that TOWNh is largely homophobic, be quiet) We got scott pilgrimage and wally wallace wells AND THEY ARE CANON and we got julie and stacy (it’s not pedophelia) and we got ashie was joe and—sigh—mickey mouse and i swear to fucking god what the gel is wrong with us?!??????!?!?

Dont forget Wilballs slut

Pedofila is bad you guyzzz :3

ANyways so ashy washy and mickey mouse are like making out violently in the middle of red lobster. They pull away from eavhothe, a string of saliva conneceting their lips. The look in their hungry eyes was full of passion. Wilbir Soot sits at the other side of the table, his deep brown(?) british eyes filled with tears. He’s never been more terrified in hus life.

Besdes the tyme he fuckled his guiter (ang the tume the guitarara fuvkwd him, and also the time he fuckaled you with his guytler)

 

Suddenly ashy washy and mickey mouse go back to making out, slurping each other furociously. Wilabelrs continues to cry in fear, he was only still a little 2 weke old fetus, why must he be exposedf to such horror at this age.

SO he does the only thing he knows how to do.

He gets aborted.

And then none other than Wallace Wells walks into tbe restaurant, seating himself at a tab;e with his two boyfriends, SCott pilgrim and Michael Jackson. He was gay for Scott but Scott was straight for Ramona and not gay so it was kinda one sided but Wallace was also gay for michael jackson AND lesbian for Ramona and Michael Jackson was gay for scott AND wallace and also probably little boys but lets not get into that.

Scott sits pushed up against the wall, Michael JAcksons fat volumptious ass taking up most of the booth, But SCott was fine with that because he had his ipad and he was playing Sonic dash and mario run and toca boca restaurant. Wallace stares across the restaurant, making eye contact with mickey mouse as he shoved biscuits down Asjy Washy’s throat.

“Anwyays mic hael and scott i have something to tell you,” Wallace says serupisly. Michael Jackson stops going hee hee immediately and scott turns off his sticky ass ipad,

“Whats wrong babagrill,” Michael jackson assks. b Wallace lets out a long deep sigh.

“Im preganart with Romaonas baby….”

SWcott’s jaw DROPS along with his ipad. His boynfrad was PERGNAHY with his girlftarnfs baby. Michael Jackson’s ass deflates as he realizes his gay slutty ass twink of a boyvfrernd was a lesvian and cheating on him with some mentally unwell new yorker.

 

“WHAT THE VAGINA,” Scote scrams loudly, he was the one supposed to be pegnar with ramonananananananans babee. Scotitty and ramna qwere already planning to have a kid evrn though the weren’t financially nor mentally stable. They had built the nursery and they were going to name the baby ‘Little Faguette’

Scitts hart was brocken. How come wallack e got to be pregnant and not him. That was so unfair. He wanted to be pregernaut too.

Then the mothe rof our dearest megathy, DREAM, because my mother is fucking dreaj aaaaaaaaaaaa, walked into theis horrifying ass place??? Idk whee this is. No.

Piss kink piss kink piss kink piss kink piss kink piss kin piss kink piss kink piss kink piss kink
dont delefe the piss kinks ill kms

 

Ok so then mommy dream brought in homophobia because shes my mom but also pedophilia because shes dream.

WOW THERES A LOT OF PEDOPHILIA IN THIS ROOM WHAT THE FUCK MY GUYS

OK so the two most prominent pedos started playing tonsil tenis because when you’re famous as shit you can do whtever you wnat, yep. But then the pedos realized that they aren’t pedoSEXUAL they’re pedoPHILES. Because i just invented pedosexual and that means that youre attracted to pedos. So anyway they stopped making ot violebtly and left the roo to prey on minors .. Yuml./..

Sorry guys im not a pedo im a minor.

Penis cancer

So anyways liek so so like like so like so when wilbur ews abotredted the waiter took the dead fetus and cooked it into the lobster soub that ashyw washy and micky mouzer ordered \

Oko ok ok ok so…

then mickey mouse at eat je fucking fretus and lobsta soup and then there was like a siren and shit.

The woll broke down and dos weird shits walked over and arrested mickey moused

“VEGAN POLICE!!!!!”

And then mickey mouse was like, “”””nooooooo my veganism!!!”””

And then the vegan police were like “””””no vegan fpr you!”

And thenn ahsy washy was like, “NO pooKi e Youe’Re a VegANN???

 

Ab d tehh ne the vegan police were actually todd ingram and THE BEAVER GOD (all hail)

ANd ethe n the fucking BEAVER GOD (all hail) was like, “Oh damn bitch you are going to be UNVEGANED.”

and then micky mouse was all like floatoig in the air in a very DISNAY PRINCESS way and then he goy unmoused.

Yup. He is now mickey unmouse because he got his mouseness by being vegan.

“HOW???? I’ve never eastern non vegan before?????A??A?” Mickey Unmouse said.

“The slurpity slurpy soup had milk, labsta AND fetus in it!!!!!!”

“OH SHITe I ATE A CHILD??!”??!?!?!??!?!?”!?”/’’

I bet dream’s into that.

“No you fucking imbecile. Fetuses aren’t children theyre fucking fetuses.”

“Oh yay arbotions!”

And then everyone was like “YAY ABORTIONS” because in TOWN we all love abortions.

 

God i fucking live abortiom

 

I hope freddy fazbears in my closet tonight -moss after i made the beavers eyes bright red.

Speaking of abortio n, as soon as wallace sees Todd HE SHOOTS THE FUCKING BABY STRAUGHT OUT OF HIS ASS. The underdeveloped fetus splattering agaunst the wall.

He wanted Todd si bade.

SCott and MIvcavavavavav Jackson stared in horror as the splattered fetus ran downthe wall, fetus juice getting everywhere. Wallave sta nds up and rans over to toddy woddy, Slapping his fat vegan ass., The beaver starts to spin round and round and round as TOdd snd Wallabe fling themselves onto the bar counter and start making out viciously.

And then the other writer who wad reading this was concerned for our mental health.

 

alrighteos BIRDS ARENT REAL

yup.

In the 1950s the CIA hated birds because pigeons are rats with wings (This fact has been confirmed by experts) so anyway the CIA was like ‘oh yeah sky cameras’ because yay! Stalking! And then they were like ‘lets kill all tge birds and also replace them with government drones.

You know het truth now. If anyone every says anything refuting it, just know: Drones did exist in the 1950s, its just been covered up by the governemment.

 

so with this knowledge, we return to the story.

 

Michale jacksonsosn is actually a bird. which means that e is actually a government drone. so anyway, he flew away to live in narnia because I LOVE RELIGIOUS PROPAGANDA. Oh my god i actually spelled propaganda properly.

Instead of actually reacting correctly to the fact that micaldhghek jackson is actually a drone, everyone, (mommy dream, the beaver god, mickey unmouse, ashy washy, scott pilgrimage, wally wally wallace and his somehow born fetus) they all just turned to look at michhakjld jackson.

“Hee hee.” said the flying pedo

“Hee hee.” everyone replied idn unison.

This is normal because yes. TOWN is just like that.

Chapter Text

so aneyways weh now have the reincarnation of ms hinkty pinky, or if you want to get really shnazzy, the re-reincarnation of ms dickeron.

The new reincarnation is slightly worse. It’s name is Ms Dickinson. we dont like that one. *peas*

Ms dikeron sytarst to do tha macarena, everyone is throwing cash money at her, cheering and screaming and creaming as if she was a fuckina stripper. And the things start to get intense.

People start throwing shrimp and screaming obscenities as ms dikeron starts to macarena further, her ancient bones cracking and breaking as she dances her heart out. People start to party hard, eating all the alfredo and theres probably people snorting seasoninh in the kictehehen. Scxott pissgram is hiding i the cirnrr, callugn ramnamna and playing subeways surfers on his ipad, Ashy Wasy is being a gay twink in the corner, Wallave and Tidd are probable having sex somewhere idfk, and wilbur soot is still dead.

Bu then, Ms dikeron aka Mrs Hinky Pinky’s reincarnated twin grabs will=yburs gugter and IMPREGNATES it IN FRONT of EVERYONE.

what the fuck does thiss messaaaaaaaannnnnn

also you go ms dick

OH DAMN SHE IMPREGNATED THE GUITAR ooooiooooihhhhhhhb ok sorry there was much spelling errors

ok so then everyone was like “that’s a mood” and went on with their on with their lives

and then the next day, because teacher/guitar children don’t take long to grow from fetus to freetus. So yeah wilballs was re borned

i’m sorry for that

so anyway, the guitar’s child was actually an exact replica of Willy wilbur soot. It even came with a weird ass amount of british.

i’d also like to say that ashy washy broke up with mickey unmouse because he was a vegan and then he wasn’t a mouse or a vegan and that’s not cool guys.

some dating advice- if you have a partner, you should not lie about being a mouse or a not-vegan because that’s a hate crime in TOWN.

so ashy washy got back with his gorgeous ketchup boyfriend.

Guys i need someone else to write because i don’t know what to do now

 

AND the reincarnato n of willball soup commits and incest and fucks his gutar :33333

Then reincarnated ms hinkamp finds out about the gutar cheating and kills herself infront of eberyone (i ncluding her setudents)

But the gutar gets upsetti spagetti and murders like 4 peopl

Oh no, the birds invade :00000

Guys the government is not happy withTOWN are we surprised??? No. SO ThEN ALOT OF PEOPLE DiE (including weballs soup)
:33333

I hate that i understand this bullshit. me too bestie
GRRRRR
Oookookkooko so than the govt was all like, ‘nuhuhuh’ hbecause murder is againt the law or something idk i dont read the law books

Weballs comes back and like hunts the guitar and he’s like ‘grrrr it’s ur fault reincarnated ms hinkamp is dead you pussy’

STPCALLING ME WEBALLS -W

Why does weballs like reincarnated hinky pinky????? Oh wait she is his mother/parent becaus etghhe guitar birthed him

HEHEHEHE I ATE MS HINKAMSP EYES

Delicious slurp slurp

:3333
IT TASTES LIKE MUSTY SOUP

WHY IS EVERYTHING FUCKING SOUP IN TOWN

BECAuSE SOUP IS GOOD

ALRIHTTH S POF MICKEY UNMOUSE WAS PRAWLNG IN A VERY UNMOUSELIKE WAY bcecause he got unmoused ya know????/

 

AND THEN THE SPEELF TAKES OVER

 

Jaden would like to addd some
thing
Should i share with her?? yeyeyey

And then weballs. Thank you for coming to my psa. :3

Ball

Guys i cants spaelell anymor because ibe ritten towo omuch cr

SKILL ISUE :333

I just read the sentence “Bus bathroom phone sex,” And i am sobbing

OH-

I cried

Real , imagine :3

*bites your ears off* mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau
STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOp

mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau
mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau

 

PLEASE I BEG OF YOU STOP THIS MADNESS mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjaumjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau mjau :3

PLEASE 😭

RARAATATTATATATTATATRARARAH

Yur not hurrr ratahan heenda heenda hurrr ruthan deenda puh -KoRn

Real *steals ur eyes*

*wiggles slowly*

*cryies cutely*

*Wiggles HARD*

*picks up and eats whole :33*

*Pull shotgun out of asshole and shoots brains out in a kawaii sugoi anime school girl nya rawr manner*

Dies

*peas* 🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢

oh

lovely

Idk who tf that is oh- pog

Joey jordison was so hot i wish he didnt fucking die, google him only him with the mask

🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢 🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢pea🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢🟢

Its drugs

Wibals is in ur room :3

Chapter Text

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm ok so what the fuck is going on

Ok so then the whole of TOWN was like, ‘uhoh theres a motherless child here’ i mean willballs has his guitar, but no one knows if its sentient. So the town was like ‘yes we shall raise this little shit’

MY GUtARS NAME IS JERELD >:[[[[[[

My guitars names are Mørke, Martha, May, and Malary

ok so the TROQN tried to get their shit together and tdrwaise the lil brat because thats what you do when somethings mither commits self murder inf ront of little chikldernen

And then the flying spagehtii monster :3

Yep so willballs slut was raised pastafraarian

h e was raised with the belief that all pasta is holy and because of that, he got to wear a collinder in his drevers licedejnesc forto.

Im gonna slut shame you

I WOULD KMS IF I HAD SEX EVER THATS FUCKING HORRIYFYING

ME TOO BUT HERE WE ARE

I HAVE SEX WITH RANS MOM EVERY SINGLE NIGHT’

SHUT UP MOSS 🖕
IM GONNA FUCK YOUR DAD TOO
Im gonna fcuk your grandparents and your uncles and your uncles uncle

I am ur grandpa :333

W H A T

SLURTS SLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTSSLURTS

Theys all slurts ignore that. On

SLURTS

With the story

Stfu ok so slurts yup willballs is not a slut but a slurt his name is willballs slurt

Piss kinkle

SO basicalal7ll7l7l absic so like suddently Joey Jordison and Jeffree star show up and are luike “What the vaguna buttfuck is happening you gyes,” And then its revealed that Jeffree star is none other than Chester the Molester

The slug?????????

KINKLEKILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKEKINKLEKILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKEKINKLEKILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKeKINKLEKILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKEKINKLEKILNKELKINKLNKLEKINLKEKINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKEKINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE
KINKLE KILNKELKINKLEKINKLEKINLKE

 

Guys we need to get our shit together and write the fucking crack

NO MORE PISS KINKLE

Your mom has a piss kink

Ok :3

So then Wilbur sndo worhipe s sagetyhe and starts a cult in the spagehtehrg monster’s name,

:) “SPAGHET-HEEHEE” said michale jacksonnm(moss’s mother), As soon as Jeffree Stars makes eye contact with Michael Jackson his pedophilic/pedosexual cock starts to glow and shimmer. He YEARNED for Michaels beautiful, soft lips all over his hideous body, he needed hus ass so bad, Jeffree wanted Michael to sit on his face and suffocate him.

And then weeballs sacrifices ur mum to the spaghetti monster by putter her into meatballs whichhe put into psagetyis

Not DREAM or mickahls jackson sorry its mickahdjhak jakdckdshajn

No, mosses mom :333

And weballs serves ur mom spagett to the local orphanage (you’re never too young for cannibalism)

Ok so im going to explain this all real fast everyone stfu

 

so wilbur got aborted but then he was born form his guitar that mis hinky pinky’s reincarnated clone fucked in the red lobster. And then the og willballs fetus was put in a labsta soup and given to mcikey mouse and sashy washy. And then the vageand police arrived and unveganed mickey mouse dos ehe got his mouse taken away with his vegan powers and then he was mickey uncmoiqduse

 

Oh yeah and dream and micheal jackson started making out ast one point before midfhadhkj jackdhk flew awya because hes a governtrment drone (bird)

Wallace got Todd pregnant btw after he shit that fucking uh fetus out that one time, it splatted on the wall like a plate of jello

Oh yeah wally wally wallade was pregnaagnr with romeokawAJAKMANa child ans scott was angry >:(

weballs :000 anygays weballs came back after mis hinky pinky impregnated the guitar and then webal got born lmao and he starts violently doing the stanky leg, hitting the whip and nae nae and doin the gangnam style. His britishness flowing out of his body like he was a popped water balloon

webal fucks the gutar and then ms kinky pinky kills herself bc her one true love cheaterd on her wuth ther son. then weballs dies again but dw hes a ghost now so he can still do shit ig but can he still whip and nae nae??????

If he was a ghost and his guitar was still guitaring does that mean that the guitar is a necrophile?

YOU TOOK MY FuCKIng ePROPEEDe wn **period

Yes…

 

I’m a necrophile.

Im sorry fr you loss

ANYGAYS-

So then they have an orgy but while they were having the orgy the beaver god’s dick falls off because he’s still there for some reason. Anyways the beaver cock grows a pair of besutiful angel wings and ascends up to heaven, going to go give Jesus a little smoochy smooch.

ALL OF THEM HAD SEX LMAO

Guts my computers at 2%

LLLLLLL MUST SUCK

HOW TF ARE THERE 14 PAGES OF THEIS BULLSIHYT

BC WHY NOT :33333

anyway, weballs watches in shock and horror as the ebaver god(all hail) accends, that was… his IDOL :000000

YES IT WAS

NO NO IT WASN’T THE BEAVER GOD(all hail) IT WAS THE BEAVER GODS(all hail) DICK THEY DICK ACSENDED NT THE BEABER

HE LOOKED UP TO HIS DICK

DAWG ARE YOU WRITING THIS ON YOUR FUCKING SCHOOL ACCOUNT???

YEP :3 pls plan my fneral

*snitches on you cutely*

so then wilby gets depresso and tiris to commit die but he fials and goes to the metnak hostpidwqyhdbqw

i forgot how to spell

WHile wilballs slut is at the mentael hopititty someone sneaks into his room while he sleeps. They grab his shirt and RIP it off his body before they pull the pair of scissors out of theire pussy hole and snip off Weeble Wobble’s nippples. He can no longer do tricks with his magneficent nipples and he starts to cry. He loved his nipples more than anything and now they were GONE.

WEBALLS GETS PREGNANT AT THE HOSPIRAQg

Gasp titties???

nam tits :]]]]

Vietnam tits???????

MEN**** tits

Guys i donet even know who wilaballas is

Then wilballs hairline recende more bc he lost his nipples :[

and then spingtap comes jnt ghe mental hospital and inpregnats wible slurt who hives burth too henry

and henry(the cat with a human face) scared the shit out of everyone at the mental hospital so now every one working rehire had to go to a mental hospital but then no one was working there so everyone was free and incredibly fucking traumatized. yayysyayahuaayay

 

“my cannibalistic mother is dead,” said the insane norah child.

and then and then JUPITER started a hoard kf screaming ceiling fans on thier way to kill yoh and they wore screamed “ we can we fish bit we cant eat cilderen?”

and oh GOD the ceiling fans ran into the mental hospital where haernry had eatablishrd dininanmebce

evan hansen was the kead scriling fan because he had tried to kill himself and this us the afterlife my guys. the afterlife is the screaming ceiling fans.

so in the mental joseital , yeh ceiling fans weee conformboted by HENRY so to vervtgones immense surpiejse, the ceiling fans dod not stop in horror thats its brcause the ceiling fans do not have eyes because they are ceiling fans.

eo the criling fans continuied to charge.

 

(just to mess the story up: thos became known as the ceiling fan massacre of 09:58 because thats when it happened. )

“DEAR EVAN HANSEN, weve been way too out of touch,” sang henry as he span evan hansen so that the lead ceiling fan flew around like a deranged garbarge truck man, destroying th horad.

“things have been crazy…” henry trailed off becasue he doesnrt know the worsd. he stood in a cat man manner amongst the splinters that remained.

surderbly all the mental inmates dtarted cheering because they were so full of fewr.

who wouldnt be full of fear agter seeing a cat with a human face kill a hoard of ceiling fans while singing to a mentally unill broadway musical??????????!?????

norah rizzed up its cat. (ignor eth is its not important rot the stroy )

“I feel like you’d be better with a concussion.” whispered the ceiling fan splinters.. But don’t worry guys, the ceiling fans are deader (because tehyre; already dead because the afterlife is screaming ceiling fands)

I FUCKING LOVE CHILD LABOR :]

Heheheheh no more hands for them

Yessssssssssss they will dieeeeeeeeee

Lewwy lewis hine stoped child labor i will homicide him

Chapter Text

ok so henry was all powerful. He diciided to leave the mental hospitty behind and go take over the world with the power of friendship and also incredible violence and a fugly ass face.

So threee years later, the world had been conquered and it was not earth. It was HENRY.

WIllballs was proud of hat he’d createcd , as the second of his sons (he has another rson, he’s not in this fic tho 😞) excedesd his expectations.

Everything is henry. Henry is the answer. henry is god

But…sadly,,, people dont like dictators that conquer the world withe the opower of friendship and also violence and a fugly ass face.

So everyone was lall like, “nuh uh uh” and then henry, who is very vulnerable to ‘nuh uh uh’s, lost all his power.

then weballs wobbles disowns henry, as how could he let the people win??? so henry, deegwbxcted and depressed, dissip[aerdd for all time

Nooooooooo not henry!!!!11!!1!!! The pain is reaal

Writing shool work is hard after all theis mispellsings
yeah :[ ANYGAYS

Hmmmmmmm what thehe gel is going on????

wish i knew

SOOOOOOOO after the overthrowing of henry the earth (still called henry as the people were to azy to change it back) went semi bact to norma;l (as if any of this is nornmal)

Normal is a social construct and i fuckijgnmg hate it.

nomal should be made a slur against mentally well cis-hets

The neuro-blands

HEll YAEh

iim going to call you a slur

Real

your al slurt

oh- well back to writing my NORMAL fanfic (https://archiveofourown.info/works/51905533/chapters/131246959 pls read it 🥺) bc i'm done w this shit

Did you just call your fanfictiob a slur???!??!??!??!?/1

yep :3

STRAIGHT.. ITS STRAIGHT FANFICTION THATS BULLSHIT

ITS NOT STRAIGHT TH MAIN PROTAG IS A GAY ENBY

BUT ITS NORMAL

FINE THEN, my semi-sane fanfic IS THAT BETTER????

Yes good

my tummy hurts :[ feel bad for me

Cannibalism is bad you guys. I had to write that here because i cant just put that in a serious fic

ANYWAAAAY

Chapter Text

Back at the Red Lobster where it all began, Mikey unmouse is DESPEATTELY trying to get back his veganhood and likewise, his mousness.

(and also his hotty of a boyfriend that im not sexuallizing in anyway!!! Chill out my fellow banana fishers)

And that-

but he bargains with the vegan police, “please,” he syasy, “I need this, i swear i DIDN’t know there was an aborted fetus in my soup,” Mikey unmouse begs and pleasds.

“Please pretty please with a cherry on top?????” he did lil eyes idk

“Lobsters aren’t even considered non-vegan (accroding to the vegan bileb)” Mickey tries, but alals the vegan police aren’t swayed by his fruitless begging.

To top it all off, the Vegan TEacher 😦 broke through the wal; because vegans are simply above doors. But then she allso broke because have you seen the women she is frail af.

While laying on the floor she yells “ABORTION IS NON_VEGAN!!!!11!!!!111!!!”

Everyone looks at her in shock, could it be…?

 

THE ULTIMATE VEGAN??!?!?!/!?!?11

Then ash kabob (from lovejoy) breaks into the red lobster (as he is asloso above doors) and SCREAMS “I HEARD THERE WAS A NON VEGAN IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT?!?!?!?”

Mickey Unmouse looks HORRIFIED, “N-no, you must be mistaken” he tries to justify himself.

“HE MUST BE PUT TO DEATH iMMEDAE:Y” Ash continues, flipping his long luxorous ahir.

“NO pLEASE I HAVE A BOFRIEND!!!” Mickey Unmouse screams in terror.

there’s alot of screaming :/

“SHOULD HAVE THOuGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU COMMITED A SIN TO VEGAN-KIND” Ashkabob replies, his voice cosnatatntly loud.

then ash kabbob pulls out his guitar and plays the most KAW-DROPPING EPIC riff ever, the riff was so ammasdkmh infact, mickey unmouse dropped dead om the spot.
This is why theres a murder tag tthis is your fault

Is ash kabob a vegan???

HMMMMMMMM “hola como estas!” sayes James Potter.

“Je bent een appel” speaks Mary Macdonald

Who the fuck is mary mcdonalds????
“James did not fuck a apple!!” Evan Rosier
)Mi amiga toca algo con sus ojos.)
The greet and mity marauders whomt orture de grounds of hogwarts. HASHTAG James Potter/ Lily Evans/Pandora Lovegood/Regulus Black HasHTag Sirius Black/Evan Rosier/Barty Crouch Junior/Remus Lupin.
“Yo estoy de acuerdo” say Barty
Oh my love, mi amor, te amo

 

mcdonals is your kind of place they serve you rattlesnakes
French fires up your nose, pickles between your tooes
Last time i was there they fried my underwea
Mc donalsds is your kind of place

Guys did you enjoy the mcdonals song??? This is the kind of shit you grow up singing when dream is liteerayly your mother and your father is a floridian

Where did the crusty old dead people come from? They used the door because theyre not vegan theyre dead. But not ceiling fans because they dont deserve that afterlife tehyre not that cool

 

Ok o ok ok o so so so mmmmmmmmmm

Its pronousnced GAYa not GUYa im talking about Gaea the earth is gay CONFIRMED

 

What if….kaz brekker??? I LOVE KAZ BREKKER I WOULD LET HIM BREAK MY SKULL WITH HIS STUPID ASS CANE

If anyone reading this actually knows all these fandoms i will literally… i don’t actually know but good for you i guess

Jadens calling Nyx a whore when Zeus is right there what is this bs

Akdldhahlksnivbdkfaiepjfnclsmpsafjmadfsijfsh

1. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish.

2. What does a baby computer call its father? Data.

3. What did the custodian say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"

4. Why are colds bad criminals? Because they're easy to catch.

5. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

6. Which knight invented King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference.

7. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.

8. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!

9. What happens when you witness a ship wreck? You let it sink in.

10. How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
Ignore that thats just jaden. We love jaden so don’t be mean to her.

Nvm shes reading all these jokes to me im going to homicide her

I FUCKING HATE JK ROWLING IF I HEAR MOMMY DREAM SAY “its complicated but i completely understand her opinion” IM GOING TO KILL MY OWN MOTHER

Ok so ignoring the mauraders, we return to the REd LOBsTEr…

“Oh my shit!!!” Ash Kabobobob came running up behind Ashy Washy and stared at the fucking CORPSE of his ex boymouse

Ahshy washys was confronted with a sudden decision.

DId he love micky, mouse or unmouse, or was he happy the no-longer-vegan was dead???

He spoke his thought s out loud in the air in the form of speech usong his voice cube because only the weak ones have voice boxes

“Fuck the unrat im better with my ketchup bf” he actually said it like “bee eff” because voice cubes are superior.

His ketchup bf’s ketchup boobs boobed boobily.

Ash kabob turened around and high fived ashy washy with his guitar. The very guitar that was used to kill the unveagan.

“Thats nice, other Ash,” said the Ash kabob, “But whatre you doing in the Rad lobster even though you’re not vegan????Q???!??!?!?”

“Lobster isnt vegan its lobster.”

“Oh.” (its the slow burn ‘oh’ because Ash and Ash are in love)

The vegan teacher died from her wounds but no one actually gave a shit because evryone hates the vegan teacher. In fact, this day is now a holiday its january 18, ‘Vegan Teacher Death Day’ its a global holiday

To celebrate, just eat as much meat as possible and also eggs and dairy and fetus labsta soup.

Moosssssss i miss you social studies is so fucking bring without you.

This is overr 5,00 words wtcf

That was a typo but im making it real ift mean What The Cracking Fuck because crack. yes.

theratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheattheratsyhetaratshtratsheratshratstherasttheratstheratstheratstehratstheratshteratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratsetharatstheratsthratstheratsthertastheratsghrdaeFDGARUSJKBHSDBAJkagBUFQWOIHHhvvn

rice

So anyway, ash kabob got unveganed because red lobster isnt vegan but he didnt even care because he was in LOVE. the whambulance came to get the vegan teacher but then they just left the vegan teacher and then a hearse came and grabbed the frail ass vegan and then the sirens were all like
WHEEEEEEEE
OOOOOOOOOO
WHEEEEEEEEE
OOOOOOOOOO
WHEEEEEEEEE
OOOOOOOOOO
And omg it was so romantic i love it.

(tuimen skup time)

Chapter Text

So willballs slurt was expeievrneceing sadness for the first time in this life. He missed his darling son HEnrY because we all love henry.

Henry was living with his other father, springy springy springtrap.

I dont know any fnaf lore i only watched the movie.

I think that henry should have his own animoanstronic fursuit. He could have cat. He could be a cat-man in a cat-suit.

I dont want to write a paragraph about child labor.

So willballs went to visit springy springy springtrap at his cute lil pizza place.

Willballs loves pizza. Actually no he doesnt hes british. Let me try that again.

Willballs hates pizza. He only eats beans on toast with biscuits that are so dry they suck up all the mmoisture in the body and tea but not the good kind because brits dont know whats good.

FucK YALL I LOVE BRITISH PEOPLE

You are british

DAMN RIGHT

 

anyway,

Springtrap greeted his EXHUSBAND (they were married) at the door, “Oh, it’s you” Sprigtarp says.

Im going to write fanfiction for our fanfiction where willballs and springtrap get married and it would have domestic fluff and also cannabalism because thats the vibe i get from them.

OMG THEY GO ON A DATE AND COMMIT CANIBALISM SO ROMANTIC 🤩

Can someone write fanfiction for our fanfiction??????????????

BACK TO THE ROMACTIc SIDEPLOT, STOP DISTRACTION ME

We dont have plot here its all side plot

So, Wilbur replies “i thought you’d be more happy to see me, Springtrap” He says in his stupid fcking british accent .

It sounded like unintelligible gibberish and shit so it was mre lik “ahfojsdhfsvgrisiu asugidfg wgruisuwrh” but springtrap understood as a fellow brit himself.

“You left me alone with our SOn in this shitty economy” Springtrap responds in his equally dumb accent. (this sounded like “dguisfgueagidf iufadg SHIT yugeiuaidgwhrous”

“well I’m back now’ Wilbur says, his voice softening slightly. “i'm back to care for our SON,”

SON must always be capitalized it s the law

Springtrap gasps, “You came back,”

N9oooooooe fdywduw yu cant i wonrt let yiuoofu gyeuwihdg;hilrwjkbhsuhgesfo/jkioaeafhkboif

 

Ho you cant i will slurt shame you

IT”S TOO LATE :3

Wilbur ble puts is hand of springtrap’s shoulder “I always come back,”

Nooooooooooooooooo dwioughiofehkhdvjo kln,m

 

Henry takes that moment to walk up to the door and he too gasps “You came back!” His heart felt full for the first time in years. Seeing both his dads together again made his eyes brim with tears. “You came back,” he said again, softer this time. Everything was perfect.

“Of course, Henry, I could never leave you. I’m sorry I left,” Wilbur apologizes, his voice genuine with worry.

“Anyway I finally got the milk,” Will changes the subject on a dime.

 

Let us all step back for a moment and appreciate that this is literally THE SON OF A GUITAR TALLKING TO HIS SERIAL KILLER EX HUSBAND AND THEIR SON WHO IS A FUCKING CAT WITH A HUMAN FACE AND WHO IS ALSI A SERIAL KILLER BUT OF CEILING FANS INSTED OF CHILDREN.

WILBLE FIRST SON WAS LITERALLY A FOX AND HE HAD THE HCLD WITH A FUCKING SALMON SO-

ANYGAYS

They all return inside, “Oh how i’ve missed you” Springtrap says, his eyes sparkling with joy.

JADEN WOULD YOU LIKE TO CO WRITE THIS WITH US??????

I really should charge my computer more often

JADEN GIVE ME YOUR ACOUNT

Asdsdffdfghdfhjkkjhghjkl;cvm,vjkretruiuo

Springy springy springtrap and weeble wobble slurt realsizes theat they are in LOVE just like AHs AND Ash and…idk who else

Anygays, SCOTT pligrom walked over with his polycule offffffff mentally ill creatures and CATMANNAPPED HENRY

Why would anyone do that???????????????

bc they can?? idk henry is prolly rich

but uh-

Guys i aught my parents how to say upsetti spaghetti and told them that they have to use it professionally.

Chapter 4 is only like 300 words whatever sall we do??

Ok so henry was gettin TyRaAUMAryTInZEDs with the Pilgrimage™ because thats just what happens wheen you get catmannapped.

It sayds theat i spellecd catmannapped wrong D:

What if i committed a felony

Will you help me??? We can all commit felonies together and we can call it ‘the felonship of the ring’

It says i spaelled felonship wrong >:(

Google docs doesnt know what a felonship is

Ok sso henry was tied to a chair and a bag was over his head so we didnt have to se his UGLY ASS FACE. the Pilgrimage™ had drawn a little smily face that looked like this-

:-)

HOLY SHIT ITS LOOKING AT ME IM GONNA SOB WHY DID I CREATE THAT THING???

Ummmm so yeah so henry’s fathers were searching VIOLENTLY for their beloved son.

I was walking through the wallways holy shit WALLWAYS anygays so i was waling and some kid was like, “get out of my way you fucking furry.” and then the kid that they were talking to BARKED and i wanter to sob.

M9ore schol leyss hospital amiright?

I want to get 6969 words thats gonna be great lemme write like a hundred words reall fast.

Ok so springy springy springtrap and weeble wobble slurt were hunting for fucking henry for reasons we don t understand.

“”””Weeble wobble, i wish to remarry you””””” said springtarp

“””””Oh my god me too uwu”””” i think that weeble wobble would say this unironically.

So in the cold ass alps because what if henry is in the alps, springy springy springtrap and weeble wobble slurt got remarried by some mountain goats

Meanwhile in TOWN because where else would you go with the creature you catmanna-peped??? The pilgrimage™ eating at red lobste because WE LOV E RED LOBSTER THATS THE NAME OF THE FANFIC and henry was just sitting on the red lobster sign because they thought that was funny.

6935 6936 6937 6938 6939 6940 6941 6942 6943 6944 6945 6946 6947 6948 6949 6950 6951 6952 6953 6954 6955 6956 6957 6958 6959 6960 6961 6962 6963 6964 6965 6966 6967 6968

 

6969!!!!!!!!1!!!

Ughh now theres more than 6969 words

Chapter Text

Ok so springy springy sprigntrap and his hubby wubby continued their mision to find their beautifulbabyboy who uunbewknowest to them beut beknowstntst to us, was on the red lobster sign in the beautiful town of TOWN.

They were currently in greece with all the FUCKING WHORES THAT LIVE ON OLYMPUS. (except artemis and hestia and hera and me im there yes)

Guys jaden just called zeus’s obsession with reproducing a ‘hobby’.

Poor lil pewcy jackson he has to get LETTERS a

Poor lil jaden she has to get CONGRATDULATED

Actually i cant talk that must be hell

I CAN TALK I GOT YELLED AT FOR 45 MINUTES BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE A GRADE LEVEL CLASS.

ANYGAYS-
so anyways so henry (not the one that had an orgy with his six wives dw guys im sane) was sitting on the red lobster sign with the bag over his head with the freaky ass

:-)

Face drawn on it because IM AFRAID OF HENRYS FACE YOU HAVE NO IDEA ITS HORRYFYING

(guys are you ready for this its plot convenience)

So sosososos ososo WWILLLY WILLY AFTON and WILLY WILBALLS SLURT were hungry.

Wait is william afton springtrap i dont know fnaf lore

My ex aunt is a communismst.

So anyway they traveled all the way across the world and went to TOWN at red lobster

Were gen zalpha.

THEY HEARD THE SCREAMS from the roof and they looked up and they saw the hprrigying

:-)

face and they just walked faster insides the red lovstarer because HOLY SHIT GUYS I HATE THAT FACE

And then they saw the pilgrimage™ and they were like ‘oh shit our SON’ and then ran outside.

“Henry bae get down from there.!!”

“No pater i canst see’

‘RATS’ i love rats.

Ran and moss i know your there i can see you looming on the page pls write im lonely.

“”Jump to us beautiful henry.” henry is beaustfiul in british terms.

“Ok.” the british are fucking stupid.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST FUCKING READ.

What part?
UH ALL OF IT????

So henry who is a fucking imbecile because he has a cat brain, jumped off the roof. But then neither of his fathers caught him because dads are just AWFUL (nothng against the gays, its just men in general)

So fucking ?????????/ i dont know who. Who shall save henry?

Kaz brekker

Ok

So kaz fucking breeker wnet speed spedd and gracefully caught henry in his twunk arms (i do not know who Kaz brekker is <3)

The kaz RIPS the bag off of Henry’s f)ace, looking into his beautiful yellow catman eyes. Henry starts to purr, blushing a deep red as he wiggles his toes.

AHHH EW I JUST GOOGLED KAZ HE LOOKS LIKE HED CALL ME A sLUR IM CYRYIJG

Anyway,

Kaz and Henry gaze into eachother’s eyes, both of them purring loudly. Everyone watches as Henry and KAzlet fall in love,

No one can resist henry.

But then, Kaz and Hneryis intimate moment is interrupted by fetus wilbur.

Thats right baby

The fucking fetus is back

Fetus wilbuir, coated in lobsta soup, blood, and shit stands before KAz amnd Henry, Holding a chainsaw (I dont care if hes a fetus and is like 4 inches tall he has a fucking chsinasw)

Fetus wilbut is glamours, hes under developed features highlighted by the moonlight. He looks like a sculpture in a museum. His chisled features could make any woman or man fall to their knees.

Too bad Kaz Brekker wont have knees to fall onto.

Fetus wilbur lunges at Kaz, taking the chainsaw directly to his knees. Kaz lets out an ear piercing scream and drops henry onto the ground as his knees are violated, everybody watches in horror as what was once a beautiful pair of kneecaps are turned into a red, unrecognizable mess.

Henry starts to meow

“MJAUUUUUUUU MJAUUUUUUUUUU,” He cries as thick, blue tears run down his face, stanint his peach fuzz

(His face only has a very thin layer of fur because of his beautiful human features. His feet are hairless though)

(He has human feet.)

BUT THEN. THEN, springy springy springtrap arrived in the parking lot. Nvm he was already there. But anyways he, who was the very fetus that wally wallace wells shot out his ass, attacked his fellow premature infant.

Guys we made a family tree and henry is my father which means that he is floridian and he married dream and its fucking chaotic guys.

I (moss) Actually created Henry which means that i am Megan’s grandfather but me and Megan had a potato child which means that Harriet is a product of INCEST.

Sweet home Alabama.

But not hillary even though hillary and harriet are twins but hillary has no father.

Back to the stort, WILLY WILLY AFTON WHO IS SPRINGTRAP I CONFIRMED WITH FNAF CREATURES, he attacked the fetus of wilbur soot while willballs slurt looked on in fear.

Where did fetus wilbur come from, whor birthed him. Was it oral birth or vaginal birth (or anal)

No one birther him hes british he simply comes into existence. They just appear with a flash of the brit flag and god save the queen plays and adds another year to the queens life span.

(i know the queens dead dw im intelligent)

49 degrees is canada. I like 49 itts a pretty number its 7x7 and i like 7.

I like the numbers 9, 10, 13, 18, 1, 25, because N is the 9th letter in the alphabet, O is 10th, R is 13th, W is 18th, A is 1, and Y is 25 and when you put them together you get Norway and i

L O V E
Norway :3
Oh my god we should be all edgy and leave off on a cliffhanger

Does that mean the fic is over

No just the chapter.

Oh okay :2

:-)

Wait no we need more words

MOSS HELP WRITE WORDS BUT NO MORE PLOT THIS CHAPTER JUST A FEW MORE
W O R D S P L E A S E

Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss
Piss piss

Ok thats enough

WAIT

Hardcore homofil ass sex

Chapter Text

Alright guys are you ready arent you so anxious to see what happens to kaz brekker’s knee caps?????!?!>!>?

Major l. Lima peru has negative latitude.

OK SO SOSOSSOSOSOSOSO springtrap attacked the wilbur fetus, right? So with the power of dead children, he overpowered the WEAK FETUS. rats

Weeble wobble slurt was horrified. He had just seen his beloved hubby destroy his fetus. AND HOLY SHIT GUYS IF YOU SAW YOUR HUSBAND KILL YOUR FETUS WOULDNT YOU BE JUST A WEE BIT SCARED.

Get the exorcist i think i just went british.

Guys moss is my grandpa but we had a potato together. INCEST.

We also had a custody battle over the potato whose name is harriet and it had to be settled by our scienc e teacher. We also had to ask him about my little pony homophobia but thats not important. Hehehehehehe. Poor mr science teacher has a photo of henry on his wal (its baby henry)

Poor me i have a drawing of henry with his HUMAN TOES\

Okokokokokokokok sooooooo so the wilbur fetus died draatically because hes a theater kid. But he did die dw

Clothes are so fuckijg expensive but its illegal to not wear them Credit: THE COOLEST FUCKING COOL COOL ME, CHARLOTTE

Capitalism strikes again!

Kaz brekker did his shady little edgy little goth boy face as he pretended to ignore his knees or lack thereof.

Guys i just got threatened

Kaz brekker actually passed out but in a super shady little edgy little goth boy way and Henry fell out of his arms and started sobbing because he’s in love with KAZ BREKKER.

I hate racism, sexism, homophobia and just discrimination in general but i also hate people who think that discrimination doesnt exist.

Ok so another thing charlotte just said, “Child laborers dont speak the language because they come from the bottom of the ocean in the mariana trench. There favorite part is getting their fingers ripped offf.

jADEN just said “delicious i love whale meat.” its delisiosious

I love this because we hate capitalism but child labor is all cool. (i dont actually think this its just that the public school system is really bad at teaching about important issues)

I want the pigeon bus its like the scooby doo bus but carrier pigeons.

Oh my god the plot is being really difficult.

my favorite animal is sea sheep google it ist cool.

What if i contiunedt the story in latin to help any demon summoners ou there?

"Kaz! pulcher servator meus!" Henr clamavit.

Willballi chartas divortii extraxerunt, ITERUM. quia vidit virum suum occidere foetum suum, purus? Springtrap incepit singultus. Il virum amavit.

abortum

satis thats tibi latine. utere translate.

Use google translate you weaklings

I love latin i learned how to say sacrifice and its just sacrifico.

Jaden just remixed the alphabet and its A BANGER here its is but you have to sing it ya know?

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijhijklmnqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnorstwxyzuvaabbccdbdefEfgglhiilmmnhogpppqqrsstywxyyZzagcdefghij

Ok so if you didnt use google translate, henry is sobbing and weeble wobble and springtrap are getting a divorce, AGAIN. So now everyone is sobbing because weeble wobble and sprintrap had A SON.

Guys i (UeR) am canonically related to springtrap and weeble wobble because henry is my father.*? Which means im also related to the guitar and ms dickerson and also wallace and ramona not to mention dream is my mother. I HATE CANON.

Guys madi just started filming a tik tok in class in a school where phones arent akowwed.

Kaz Nutsack brekker is rushed to the hospital (which ius also inside red lobster)

Can we put the polydadorous relationship in????? :] inunnonstability

Ok

Anwaysyysysys Kazte is taken to the hospital, the gaping holes where his kneecaps used to be splurting blood like a super soaker filled with cat piss. Spakeing of cats, Henry wails on the ground, flopping around like a goldfish as his one true love is taken away.

Henry being named henry gives off the same vibe as the dog from rwrb being named david and i dont know why. OH MY GOD IS IT BECAUSE THERES A HENRY IN RWRB????

“WAHHHHHHH WAHHHH WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHH” Henry sobs, his toes extending and bending every direction. Hos daddy wqas being taken away.

 

Which one??? He has two.

Daddy in a like “Youre my good little kitten” “uwu i love u daddy :333” way not a fatherly way

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT PEOPLE WHO ARENT ASEXUAL DO SHIT LIKE THAT. this is supporting incest culture. Stiop having sex pls.

Im a fourtwen year old asexual with a sugar daddy whats your excuse

Anwysd so Kazzy Wazzy is taken to the hospital, his ugly ass twunk ass faggot body convulsing, he was practically a human vibrator at this point. Once he gets admitted into the hospital the nurse comes to check on him

Guys guess who the nurse is

Guess

 

Its Joey fucking Jordison

He's dressed in the spirit Halloween cardiac arrest nurse costume because he's a fucking twink ladyboy, dawg was shorter than me.

 

Now he’s six feet under

Anyways so he starts nursing Kaz (not like breastfeeding nursing like doctor nursing) when suddenly dream bursts in, its long fuzzy chin wiggling like a worm

Dream was there because henry is canonically her husband and shes pissed off because hes trying to fuckck kaz and like no dont do that

I forgot henry was married when we gave him kazzle dazzle

Anyways so Joey Whordison is taking care of Kaz as dream busts in, yelling profainitis as joey tries to use scotch tape to fix Kaz’s knee holes

I need to stop cackling maniaclly because were in the middle of science.

Ok so when joey sees dream trying to get at kaz’s ankles because dreams an ankle biter, joey whoreson took his scotch tape and used the sharp thing that i cut myself with sometimes stfu everyone to peel off dreams face. Pulling a funky town and flaying the shit out of that fucker. That one song that my sisters obbsessed with that goes like,
“I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand.”

Was playing in the background and OH MY GOD IT WAS SO AETHESTIC.

Kaz brekker was unconscious dw he didnt get any more trauma although i think he reached peak trauma when he pulled out a guys eye with an oyster knife and his bare hand IN CANON LIKE WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH BARDUGO but also it WAS the hight of romance.

Hee hee har.

Reeses puffs reeses puffs eat em up eat em up eat em up.

The skin was peeling off dreams face like string cheese you know? Joey went back to scotch taping up the knees. The blood soaking the sticky part of the tape and making it wep and soggy and not sticky anymore

GUYS

What was this.

When Kazzle Dazzle awoke, henry was waiting. Also dream was dead because his face was peeled off like string cheese with the sharp part of a tape didspenser.

“Whats good pookie?” asked henry because yes (henry is british so it sounded like whats good pookie because i destroyed his british accent he cant have that much power.)

“Absolutely nothing. Life is hell. I cradle my grudges, Rollins.” said kazzle because kazzle is an emo bitch.

“What the faz-fuck” said henry. Hes allowed to say that because his dad is springtrap.

Guys if you dont know who kaz brekker is you should fix yourself and read six of crows. Six of Crows made me into the bitch i am today.

Louise is very pretty in cursive.

How long is this chapter?

Long enough ok moving on

Chapter Text

Okokokokokoko so someone please write a sick fic but its Henry taking care of Kazzle Dazzle because his knees are gone and all he has are some scotch tape????/

Theyre in love.

Im so sad my mom is canonically dead. :(

She is also super transphobic and im a nonbinary ho so its all cool. 😎

Joey whoredoson is still working at the hospital in the red lobster because hes a whore like that.

He committed a murder but we dont even care because the government has given up on TOWN just like night vale!!

You fool, TOWN is Night Vale.

I’m talking to myself guys its not looking good for me.

I accidentally cheated on my test because i started before the sub told us too so that was scary because SHE WAS PISSED GUYS.

The musci in my head is blasting i can barely hear anything but it is a BANGER i dont know what it is.

help.

Im gonna use italics cuz im cool like that but theres no point to this so…

…on with the story

The sub is just saying, “youre killing me,” every so often and its so unnerving like what am i supposed to do right now??

 

*cool transition thingies like ~~~~~*

 

Henry was depression.

He was not depressed he was the embodiment of depression.

It was because his dads had gotten divorced again and his wifey poo who was a child predator had gotten violently peeled and murdered in the red lospital and now he was dating a heavily traumitized straight gang boss with scotch tape for knees.

When you say it like that it sounds a little weird.

Talking to myself again! I’m so silly! 😆

“Henry bae i wish for therapy,” said kazzle dazzle but only in my head because theres no way that would happen sorry i will re do this.

Kazzle Dazle had his gruff emo boy voice on, “Henry. I want to die buried under the weight of my own kruge.” you inej, you he started singing one republic because i dont know emo music. Wait no guys he started singing olivia rodrigo because hes going through some shit.

REMEMBEER THAT ONE TIME I WROTE THE PARAGRAPH WHERE THE LORAX JUST APPEARED AND STARTED SINGING OLIVIA RODRIGO????

Sobbing

Thick tears welled up in Henry’s eyes

“no baby, dont die.. Youre going to be okay with little sussy baka,”

I am going to kill myself

The Kazinator turned into an emo furry wolf alpha, Monster by Skillet playing as he flipped his gay emo hair, his eyliner streaming down his furry cheeks

“You dont understand me, Henry…. No one does…”
(that one emo wolf furry picture) < —-- Kaz Brekker

 

why.

Charlotte is about to fucking die shes had so much fucking caffiene.

WHY THE FUCK IS KAZ A FURRY NOW????? SIX OF CROWS IS SET IN LIKE BEFORE ELECTRICITY TIMES

Weve ruined 57 lives so far. Can i post another chapter? Yes

YYay

Kaz is a furry because i say so because im literally jesus

I posted it and now im gonna fucking kill you.

Not if i kill me first

Krill. Like the happy feet movie. I love that movie.

I like the funkytown video

When the guy gets his face skinned off

Anywsay

So henry tries to console his now furry emo alpha wolf boyfriend, each of them crying loudly. The whole red lobster could probably hear them, even though the red lobster has been fucking crazy so far and its probably a strip clu b at this point. Sexy demon stripper chicks all over, eating shrimp and drinking pepsi.

We almost have 10,000 words its getting out of hand.

:3 good

Even the party with beer guy from Halsient is there, putting his ass in the air because he’s fucking weird but hey hes norwegian and the norskis are fucking crazy

I fucking love norway

Are we born hydrated or dehydrated?

You drank your own piss in the womb so im assuming you were hydrated

Hydrate or die straight.
Oh

I’m litsening to charlotte yell at her water bottle now.

I love lemon demon

Mr TEACHER wants to be in the fic REMAIN ANONYMOUS

But ok

Okay anywaas

So mr social studies teacher is sitting in a booth, listening to AHenry and Kaz brekker emo wolf sob as he eats chowder with SCott Pilgrim (he asked me to write him sitting with SCott PIlgrim im not making this shit up)

What the fuck also we have 10,000 words.

Jesus fuck

Scott pissgram continues to play games on his crusty ass ipad that wallace bought off ebay, he hasn’t even touched his motherfucking cheddar bay biscuits

HEELP ME MR SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER IS TALKING ABOUT “BOY CRUSHES,” WITH SOME GIRLS AND HES TALKING HOW HIS IS BRAD PITT BUT COULD BE REPLACED BY TIMOTHEE CHALOMET OR HOWEVER ITS NAME IS SPELT AND IM FUCKING SOBBIGN PELASE HELP ME

HOLY SHIT MR SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER IS A LITTLE FRUITY CONFIRMED???

I thought you were gonna write lesbian for a second tbh

Mr social studies teacher is a lesbian

No i dont lesbianify majors. (that means adults because were minors)

You turned wallace lebsian

ONLY I HAVE THE LESBIAN POWERS I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH THEM.

Pissy wissy HELP HES TALKING ABOUT BRAD PITT SHIRTLESS I CANT CRETAHE

WHAT

What if he has an ao3 personality and sees this what do we do then moss???

Why would he have an ao3 account his hair is literally grey he is T O O old for this shit

“I haven’t showered in 5 or 6 years,” -Mr social studies teacher

Maybe he wants to read about two men fucking idk

Moss? Did i krill you??

Wait i have to redo the mr social studies teacher scene he wants to sit with brad pitt n0w

No deleting its the law just put bad pitt there.

Mr social studies teacher sits at a booth with brad pitt (it’s not a bromance we’re just friends)

(he said that)

Mr social studies teacher sits at a booth with brad pit, eating some clam chowda and drinking some delicious iced tea. Henry and Kaz’s wails are louder then ever, audible over the blasting music. I DONT KNOW IM SCARED

What the FUCK ‘wails’?????

You wrote this

Kilig myzdelf

Rats

b;locked

Chapter Text

He almost saw where it said fuck we arent alowwed to say the fuck word

O say can you see, by the dawns early light, what so proudly we hailed, at the twilights last gleaming?

No more fucking anthemn i hate this country.

Countries are run by CUNTS

W-w-what about n-n-no-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-norway

Norway is a socialism so its cool.

HUZZAH

Mr social studies teacher took a picture of a kids head what

Theratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstherats

Oh good docs capitalized that wonderful sentence.

We think we know the person in that one photo of the redhead you know???

Also were making historical memes and its wonderful.

#CANCELMEGAN

I feel attacked.

THERE ARE 40 PAGES WHY AND HOW.

Murder arson and suicide are

Murder arson suicide are not problematic theyre all cool

Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicideMurder arson suicideMurder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide Murder arson suicide

Imagine having a life. Har har couldnt be me

Rice ricericericericericericericeiceiricericericericericericericericericericericericericericerice

Guys a girl just said that mexico is in south america im gonna sob two white kids are arguing about how mexicans arent latinos because they don’t speak latin. She said latin is an extinct language.

Joey whoredison/\/\\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I fucking L O V E Joey Whoredison

Lmao anyway

OKOK sooo, ash kabob walks out of the red lobster to see what caused the commotion, he GASPS when he see’s the aftermath of whateer the hell just happedned

Why did he leave everything was inside? IT WAS??

I dont know.

Ashy washy was with ash kabob because they are dating. They stood outside and then ash got down on one knee and ash said “yes” as he sobbed vicouiisly because yes.

Now they were married yes oui oui baguetter.

Remember gays, birdwatching goes both ways.

We told our sub that british people aren’t real and nothing in britland is real and he keeps pulling out pictures of britland angrily.

Now hes angrier because we told him its photo shop and that the brit flag is ai generated. Also the revolutionary war was the collective hallucination of the americans.

Biological warfare.

I FUCKING HATE BEING CONSIDERED GIFTED I AM LITERALLY JUST A MENTALLY ILL CHILD THAT HAS TO LEARN HARDER THINGS BECAUSE MY PARENTS “LOVE” ME

Also im posting another chapter guys

 

SHIT GUYS MY TEACHER SAW THAT ONE SEC IM ABOUT TO SOB

Mr social studies teacher was still sitting in the red lobster with brad pitt and scott pilgrim drinking his milkshake or whatever.

Charlotte is norwegian moss.

Suddenly there was a commotion coming from the red lospital (pls make the losbital symbol) it was the whole population of antarctica!

Everyone gasped as penguins started eating all the lobsta and whatever stuff and then the penguins turned to the customers.

It was a blood bath.

The scientists that live on the cold sicced the ravenous penguins on everyone because they had gone COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE BECAUSE THEY WATCHED THE NEWS ABOUT AMERICAN POLITICS.

heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)heroin (hĕˈrəwən)

The artic scientists watched in amusement as everyone within the red lobster got DEVOURED (except mr social studies teacher, he ran off with brad pitt)

Actually, no one actually got devoured the penguins just sort of pecked at them because they weren’t that hungry after eating the lobster. The losbital workers scotch-taped everyone’s skin closed and called it a day.

SIGH i missed too much and i refude to go back and reread this bs so i hae no clue wtf is happening. -FoF

I am fucking sobbing

 

Womp womp i didnt want to write my banana fish fanfiction because it makes me sad so i just wrote a shit load of crack.

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MOSS I WILL DISOWN YOU AS MY GRANDFATHER AND I WONT GIVE ANY OF HARRIET’S CHILDREN TO YOU MY MOM IS A LAWYER I WILL WIN THE CUSTODY BATTLE

Im gonna piss on your mom to mark her as my own territory

Penis porn vagina

Lmao wtf i need to sleep more this feels like a weird dream

 

None of this is real

BIRDS ARENT REAL ITB ALL COMES BACK TO BIRDS OMG OMG

Kill the brits.

FUCK U

 

Ok so if anyone actually knows who we are by regocginizing all the weird shit we say were fucking doomed because i would be killed if my mom saw this

OMG REYNARD <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Guys eric griffin is (was) kinda hot

Blocked.

WHY DO YOU HATE ERIC

REYNARDREYNARDREAYNARDRAYDNHAE

What is even going on

Dawg idfk

WHO THE FUCK IS REYNARD?????
REYNARD <3333

??????????????????????!!?!?!??!?!?

I love jack wolfe even tho i am a minor and he is gay but i am nonbinary but its still pedophilia
:(

Guys opinions on necrophilia???????

Dead is as dead does

Dead ass = best ass

BLOCKED>. THIS IS WHY YOU WRRE SUSPENED ON UR OLD ACCOUNT

(im so fucking sorry)

(we dont actually support necrophilia dw guys i draw the line at grave digging)

\

Guys why do people think i'm a necrophile

Bc ur problematic

Im only a necrophile for your mom (shes dead sorry abiut that)
YES SHE FUCKING IS

SHE NOT DEAD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerratssewerrats

Oh my god you said the fuck word!!!!!

I logve the fc uk worf

:333 nuhuh

Rice

Penis penis penis penis pesin pesin penis pens piens piens penis e[enisn penas penis -ewpj
n oepnis pe
NO MORE

PEDOPILE :0000000

ns oep nies penies pienenenenenenennenenen

Pedal file

Pedal file lmao what happened to us

Mental illinois

 

OMG I LOVE MENTAL IKLOINOIS

Illinois isnt real you uncultured swine

wompwomp

Only new york state is real but not new york city or the people that live there

I'm reading angst, idk wtf this is

Cry about it i only read slow burns with all the happy because I DESERVE THE HAPPY

i dont like happy, only anstg, angst is like my only reason to live

I love lesbians

OMG LESBIANS

Reeses puffs reeses puffs
EAT EM UP EAT EM UP EAT EM UP

Are you the real slim shady?

Chapter Text

I EAT LESBIANS FOR BREAKFAST

NO PLEASE A LESBIAN LIVES IN MY HEAD AND I DONT WANT HER TO BE EATEN

Eating her as we speak

i <3 the little voices in MY head.

Except the one with the shitty southern accent i want that one dead.

But none of them are actually like personalities they’re just little gremlins that like to talk over eachother and that makes thinking difficult sometimes. Especially the one withe the fucking southern accent. That one…. I hate it.

I named him tom sawyer becasue hes an annoying little fucker

So anyway, the red lobster got CLOSED because the penguins ate everything.

Everyone that lives inside the red lobster or the red lobstipal had to get thrown out. It was a sad and depression time for everyone.

“I love the red lobster,” sobbed Micheal Jackson as he fled the building because the penguins were still in there and he was afraid.

“Me too” smiled the arctic scientists as they heardede the penguins home. Penguins melt at room temperature, so it was very messy and the red lobsta employees were aghast.

The red lobsta employees are also just three million rats in a few trenchcoats and some aprons with the tall hats so the rat á too ee can control the other rats.

“When will the red lobsta open??!?!??!?!:””” asked the anxious crowd.

“January 52nd” squeaked the rats

“Nooooooooo” wailed te crowd. January is already a very long month and the fifty-twoth takes forever to come around.

I love having anxiety and autism its like having no fucking clue what youre’ doing and then also CONSTANT stress about this.

Every day. Everyday we live in fear.

The inhabitants of the red lobster walked away sadly, their orbs wobbling and starting to form tears.

I feel like a true fanfic writer now. Words are small now hee hee har i have mastered writingrice.

Then the fucking artic scientists took off their artic scientist outfits and they were actually THREE GRIMWALKERS OF PHILIP WITTEBANE FROM THE OWL HOUSE.

However did they exist? WHy were they arctic scientists? How had they managed to turn hundreds of penguins into bloodthirsty killers?

The answer to all these questions is no.

The penguins were hungry again though, after they had digested the lobster and bits of human skin and they immediately inhaled the Beloses.

Blood splattered everywhere and the rat employees of red lobster skittered away, leaving the blood soaked trenchcoats and aprons behind. The penguins skitter scattered away, leaving only some green goo and just a few blood. Just a few. Definitely not enough to fill Lake Michigan. No. Why would you think that?? Thats insane. Go to sleep you sickkko. Sleep deprivation is not helping your sanity or lack thereof.

I got asked if there should be cannabilism in There Won’t be Anything Left of you <3 when i was just at Costco, with my mom.

SHe said yes though. My mom agreed to there bing cannabilaism in that fic. ALBERT EINSTEN/DREAM LAST NAME AGREED THAT ERIC GRIFFIN SHOULD BE CANNABALIZED.

Whats your favorite idea? MIne is being creative.

How do you get the idea? I just Try to think
C R E A T I V E L Y

What if what if if what if eric griffin was in the fic and he like what if like you and eric griffin like fell in love

 

NO PLLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I ALREADY HAVE A POTATO CHILD

(12 pictures of eric griffin drinking pepsi out of a can but with a straw)

 

SHIT ill kill you

Not if i kill me first

Chapter Text

Sorry that chapter was short

I want to eat eric griffin but not in a sexual way

Like in your fucking fanfiction??? I was not prpared to read about eric griffin getting his head chopped off kinkily

No i said N O T in a sexual way, Wednesday killed eric in a sexual way

I KNOW i will never be the same

(many, many pages of Eric Griffin photos*

actually nevermind im going to FUCKING
SLAUGHTER YOU IF I HAVE TO LOOK AT ERIC GRIFFIN ANY LONGER

🙁

Eat the rich, drink the poor and breath in the middle class that may or may not exist in such a capitalistic society

SO basically back to the story, everyone is super duper sad and pissed off because red lobster fUCKING closed and thats bullshit. So michael jackson starts prostituting himself to raise money so Red Lobter can come back

No one wants to sleep with michael jacksson why would anyone want that???

Michael Jackson has a fat fucking ass and everyone wants a fat ass in their face.

Wrong i would never want any ass on my face i would sob

Anyways,

I WANT ERIC GRIFFINS A actually never mind

Thank the spaghetti monster

Moss jus showed me a picture of wednesday from murderdolls and asked, “would you let this man dismemeber you?”

What do i say when he does shit like this????

I’d let Wednesday 13 dismember me <333333333333

Rember when :2 happened

MEOWOOWOOW)WOOEOOEOOWOWOOWOWOOWOWOOWOWOOWO MEWO EMWO MEOW MEOW MEOW

My two favorite words are probably Heroin and Sodomy

 

It’s wet rat wednesday.

Omg wednesday #MurderdollsReference????????

 

Ew

Guys MEGANs dad is so HOT im screaming

My dad is not good in anyway shape or form

So anyway like Michael JAckson’s prostitution isn’t working anf he neeeds more prostitutes for his buisiness; So he hires Ben graves and Megan’s dad to come be preostitutes with him and then the money starts coming in.

You said cumming what the fuck moss

They’re making BANK everyone from all around and everywhere SHUT THE FUCK UP I WAS THINKING ABOUT A JOKE I COULD MAKE ABOUT THE MONEY COMING IN AS HARD AS BEN WAS CUMMING IN YOUR DAD.

Anyways so everyone from everywhere is coming to the red lobster parking lot and paying megans dad for sex and like they’re richer than Jeff Bezos npw

 

Jeff bezoes was not happy about this so he grabbed his emergency delivery van? Words are difficult and he was shipped to TOWN.

Someone had to get out their keys and cut open the box because it was a big box and thats cool. When it was opened none other than JEFFREY BEZOS who screamed,”BARK!”

Megan’s dad starts to convulse on the ground, he coulldn’t handle the intensity of Jeff’s words. His weirdly shaped limbs flail around, bending and cracking and turning into the consistency of an overcooked noodle.

“NABBABABBA RABABABABB ABSJH BABABABABABABABABABABABABABAB<” He scramed, Jeff bezos starts doing the floss, using his magical Jeff powers to suck the life out Of Ben, Michael Jackson, ANd Megan’s dad.

They dissolved into nothing but The Concoction™ as he flossed his heart out. They were just artificial cherry jelly and apple sauce and bbq lays crumbs and chlorine apples and granola and french fries. DO NOT EAT THE CONCOCTION, THAAT SHIT HURTS

Now the time has come
Why don't you say
We have some fun
And we can play operation
And mutilate pieces of you
Now
I know that this may hurt
But I promise you that I
Won't do anything that I wouldn't do
To my own mother
Oh she cries
And she begs for her life
It's sad, but it's true
All that's left are pieces of you
Decapitated
Next
I'll amputate all the
Things
That I hate, but there won't be
Anything left of you
Decapitated
Next
I'll amputate all the
Things
That I hate, but there won't be
Anything left of you
Oh she cries
And she begs for her life
It's sad, but it's true
All that's left are pieces of you
Oh she laughs, and she cries
And she begs for her life
It's sad, but it's true
All that's left are pieces of you
Decapitated
Next
I'll amputate all the
Things
That I hate, but there won't be
Anything left of you
Decapitated
Next
I'll amputate all the
Things
That I hate, but there won't be
Anything left you

Fuck you

I hate you sometimes. MMM ok so we need to add
Heroin

Jeffree star and Henry and Eric Griffin should all do heroin together in the dumpster behind the Red Lobster

Ok

So the shits mentioned above took their drugs and went to the dumpster. They snorted it because im afraid of needles

HOW DO THEY SNORT HEROIN??? Actually i saw someone snort cum once so i cant really be shocked

you SAW that????

So sos like i was watching MDPOPE ansd one of the clips was this chick snorting cum. It was scary.

Also according to the ENCYCLOPEDIA, you can snort heroin

Jeffree star bends over and Henry grabs the needle from his secret fur pocket, loading it up with the sweet succulent H. Eric watches from behind henry, clapping his hands excitedly as Jeffree star lifted up his skirt and flashed his probably fake ass.

Oop what the fuck

Carl…that KILLS people

Henry grips the needle, Kneading his paw into the fat of Jeffree’s ass before he jabs the needle into the skin, shooting him up. Jeffree Star moans loudly while Eric happily jumps up and down,

it s time to moev away from the heroin and to the crime

Hold on

The heroin enters Jeffree’s bloodstream and he starts douing fortnite dances and then Henry pulls a shit ton of cash out of his ass and starts making it rain on Jeffree.

The crime menu-

M.A.S.D.A.M

M- Murder
A- Arson
S- Suicide
D- Decapitation
A- Amputation
M- Mutilation

And sometimes C

C- Cannibalism

 

Whatever shall we crime?

ARSON

The crime gods in my brain have spoken

The South Pole HQ™ burned first. Then the penguins, but thats just because they melted in the heat. Then, the fire department because they wanted the world to burn.

By the wya, the arnsonsists are Chester the Molester (the slug) and Springtrap.

My binder hurts and also it is just a cut up pair of leggings so… :(

Womp womp

oof,L i have an actual binder

I dont, my tits need to breathe

skill issue

I have to wear cock binders though, because of how MASSIVE my fucking shlong is

Thats pretty gay.

You’re gay

The gayest of them all.

gay™

faggut

HEY NO SLURS IN MY FANFIC

Tranny

Our fanfic

:000000

Grrrr

Communist is not a synonym for Russian

Penis porn

How come most male pornstars are russian

I'M TRYING TO READ ANGST GODDAMNIT

Womp womp

But why

CCAararaLLL that KIllLLS PeoPLE

omg is that a GASP LLAMAS W HATS REFERENCE

(either more eric griffin photos or that weird guy ijna nurse costume I found on Pinterest)

NO MORE PICTURES YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PICTURES PRIVELEGES THE PAGE IS GONNA CRASH

🙁

 

SHIT

Piss

Balls

Ok so the story:

Severed head used as a fleshlight

No so the buildings burned down and the delinquents got high and red lobster was closed.

Also the employees of red lobster who are rats ate jeff bezos because eat the rich amiright??/

 

NO WHY?????/

Why must we do this??

Also does anyone know how to say thank you in your sleep???

ughguguhgughughgugh i cant BREATHE my fuvking binder. Ok so what the hell is going on in the story.

Ok so henry, who was still high behind the red lobsta with the scary men that im scared of because of reasons, he passed out from too much drugs for his little cat body.n

“Oh shit.” said the rat employees of red lobster becaus ethey dont want to dispose of another body because thats annoying for rats to carry a body.

Except it’s fucking hilarious to watch like 14 rats carry a body

“Please don’t…. Choke people,” -mr social studies teacher

The rats carried henry’s body allthe way to new york city, which is not real, and threw henry’s body in the river. They didn’t puncture his lungs like they’re supposed to so the body doesn’t float because theyre fucking amuterurs. THey just kinda…threw him in the river and skittered away.

Little did they know, henry was just taking a little nappity nap. He was just a sleepy little guy. The rats skittered away, wagging their wormy little tails as henry slowly sank into the water (he’s not dead yet so hes not gonna float and also it takes time for a body to start floating

I WANT HEROIN -Megan 2024

Jefree Star was still Fortnite dancing because hes retarded and hes alos jefree fucking star and no one likes him he’s probablt my least favorite faggot

Anyways so tats happednijh ana and anda dnandannandnandn PISS PISS PISS PISSS PISSS

Guys time does not exist at the red lobster so dont ask what the time frame is

Guys when i said i want heroin it was because i was researching and no results were coming up im sober i promise

Megan’s an addict

(like my dad)

(he killed himself i think)

Henry woke from his wittle nap and screamed because cats and water are nuh uh uh so he was saved by…. Guess who it is guess guess

Obama

 

No its george washington

George eashingon is my sugar daddy

No

GUYS PEOPLE ARE MAKING RATS DO HEROIN WHAT THE FUCK

 

George washington grabs henry in his strong arms, pulling his frail cat body out of the water. Henry wiggles, the moistness of his toes finally catching up to him. He awakens, opening his beautiful yellow eyes and blinking the water away. He starts violently vomiting on George Washington, hurling up a few rats, babies, a lot of shrimp, dreams face skin, heroin, heroin needles, Jeffree Star’s pubes, and a few ibuprofen.

“Mememeow mewoe wmei mewo emwooo meow meowowow meoww oewooooooo oooooo ooooo,” Says Henry as he cuddles up to george washington, soaking himself in his own bodily fluids. George wastoon starts stroking henry, petting his soft ears as he whispers sweet praise into them.

Hornry starts purrign loudly, vibrating against geoeoeoerge washahitong, rubbing against George’s face

“Thank you for saving me mr gorgy worgy~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~,” he mewls.

Oh god no

George smells strongly of cocaine (does cocaine smell like anything??????)

Suudeenly! Abraham lincoln burst in but slowly because if he knocked his hat off his soul would fly away like pandora’s box. He is hollow inside because his organs were harvested by racists and asswipes

ballsz

Szzzzzzzz i be sleeping my worries away (goes into a three year long coma)

That was a lot of worries to sleep away

VAGANA
L

What

You know the balls outside of Target? Do you ever wonder how they get there? Where they come from? Well i have the answer.

So you know how chickens lay eggs right? And you know the target dog? THE MOTHERFUCKING TARGET DOG LAYS THE TARGET BALLS LIKE A CHICKEN WOULD LAY A FUCKING EGG.

That fucking ugly ass dog squeezes those balls out in the dead of night when Traget’s closed and the crackheads aren’t outside loitering while they shoot up heroin and snoirt coke off of randoms girls tits.

14254

Yup

It’s true i never lie

When you talk about this to other people tell them that you learned this inrformation from Moss, Son of Carl, okay

Guys im BEST FRIENDS with the real slim shady

Moss’s dad is the llama from llamas with hats

Yeah

NEVERMIND RAN IS GOING IN THE THREE YEAR LONG COMA FOR SAYING IT WOULD LET THE PAPER FINGER IT

I SAID I DIDN’T WNT TO BE FINGERED BY PAPER

Im sorry i was folding paper “sexually” or whatever

YOU LOOKED AT ME SEDUCTIVELY AND SO I SAD I WaS ACRED OF BEUNG FINGERED BY THE APER

ALL I DID WAS RAIUSE MY EYEBROWS YOU FIGGITY FAG

You guys seriously need couples therapy

WHAT HAWSFHAUEIFHBSJ I HAV A PARTNER

I have a girlfriend and she has blue hair and pronouns

I have no one :(

What about Kaz Brekker

NO WHAT THE HELL HE IS A 17 YEAR OLD

Oh i thought you liked Kaz Brekar YOU’RE 13?? Oh wait

Wait

OOh.

Eric griffin is 47 and i still love him

BESTIE WHAt

WhATT iN kenTUCky FriED FUCK Did I JUST READ

wanna have a toemance :3 we can hold toes :33333

Thats it time out corner for you

no please i beg of you

Im gonna fucking kill myself

L

 

Attempted murder>>>>>atempted sucide

real, ive done both :3

Womp womp ive only done the suicide one. :]

I tried hanging mysekf with a jump rope when i was 9

WE’RE GONNE GET FUCKING SuSPENDED YALL I'M GONNA CRY

I'm writing on rand compister and its slightly larer ahn mine and i cant find the keyboards keys right

Abraham lincoln stars shaking his fat ass at Geoger wadhontin as to seduction him and hnerald hets MAD. REALLY R E A L L Y MAD.

GEORGE WASHINGTON IS HIS PRESIDENTIAL FUCKHOLE. NOT ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S and GGRRRRR that ade henery MAD…

Henry stsrts pissing and pulls a knife out of his pusswy and runs up to abrahammies and STABS him in the DICK. Abe starts bleeding, it’s like hes having hus period but worse, actually, nothungs is worse than having a period. It hurts. But abes cock is bleeding ALL OVER THE PLACE and george’s jaw is DROPPED.

Georges becomes suicidal because Abe’s cock is fucking like Mutilated and thats not okay, and his suicidalness causes him to start singing Bohemian Rhapsody loud and proud.

 

HELP WE ACCIDENTALLY MADE THIS CHAPTER TOO LONG.

As georgie worgie sings his poor heart out, Henry continues to mutilate abe lincoln, sodomizing him with one of those big ass lights you see on the highway.

Mr social studies teacher is talking about hitler

HEnry continues to sodomize Abe as George washington starts to sing Smooth Criminal. George wiggles to the rhythm as abe screams in agony.

 

Guys we’re talking about actual real life abraham lincoln not clone high abraham lincoln just in case you got confused, i’ve never seen clone high but clone JFK is pretty silly

MEGAN YOU FUCKINH WHORE I MADE YOU A SUPER COOL FANFICTION AS AN EARLY BIRTHDAU PRESENT BUT YOU DONT FUCKING ACCEPT GIFTS GRR I SPENT TWO FUCKING PERIODS WRITING THIS YOU FAG IM SO MAD

Sorry about that,

SO abey wabey is fucking dead, George continues to sing and dance and be a total twink. Henry was so proud of himself, he killed Aberaham Lincoln just like i killed JFK, but his stromg feeling of pride stopped as George grabbed him by his furry little tail. He started swinging henry around like aa fucking lasso and he was a cowboy, a sexy cowboy.

Henry screams, crying and sqealing like a fucking pig, The skin on his tail starts to slip off, he screams as the skin pulls away from his tail. It flings him across the highway by the lake, George continues to swing around Henry’s tail skin as Henry fliess away, His tail is now just bone.

Keep in mind his tail is made out of aborted baby spines, wait fetuses dont have spines until they’re too old to be aborted.

 

Keep in mind his tail is made out of illegally aborted baby spines, just think about that, a long ass tail made of baby spines. Just picture it in your mind.

 

Leon Kennedy is so fu cking hot. Everyone in the Resident Evil franchise is so fucking hot. Especially Ada, i want her to breastfeed me. But leon is my slut, He’ll always be my slut. The sluttiest slut of all the sluts.

Foreshadowing, wow, keep the part about leon being a slut in mind okay. Dont forget.

Henry starts to screech even louder as he realizes his tail has no skin, why must this happen to him. Why must he exist, someone please, please put him out of his misery.

Someones please just fucking kill him.

 

Oh god please please kill him

 

Pray to the flying spaghetti monster with me:

 

Dear Spaghetti Monster,

I know you were probably shitfaced when you created Henry, and although I am a minor, I can respect that.

But please, PLEASE just kill him and put him in hell with the strippers with stds and the stale beer volcano.

R’amen

 

Ok thank you guys, maybe the flying spaghetti monster will show us mercy.

Guys this fic has more hits than my banana fish fic and my welcome to night vale fic so i’m sad.

Also scared.

HOLY SHIT THIS CHAPTER IS LONG

I just read an article that was written by an adult about the ‘benefits of productive child labor’ and then the benefits were just like: work helps with education and other bullshit. It kept talking about child abuse and shit, too. Wtf is the school system trying to teach us.

Heres a nice quote, “But work can also provide specific skills and knowledge. Studies have shown street workers picking up mathematical skills necessary for their entrepreneurial enterprises.”

CULTISM IS A SYNONUM FOR DEVOTION

Ok i’m posting chapter 9 and i think this is enough

Chapter Text

Help some kid just said “Transgender is bad for society” and i am trying so hard not to throw a marker at his head what am i supposed to do?????!?!?!??!?!?!?

He got ‘committed conservative’ on the political party test thogh. I wonder why.

Ok ssoooooooooo, the other creatures that were getting high behind the red lobster got shipped off to antarctica to live with the bloodthirsty penguins. Not because of the drugs. Their bodies just got thrown in the river and the just kinda…floated…down there…and then…they just kinda…gotkidnappedbythepowerhungryscientistghostsofemperorbelosfromtheowlhouse.

*cough-cough* I’m insane heehehehe

me too beste 🤩

What happened= to the prezs? Oh yeah, abe linclown died.

THAT WAS A TYPO AND I JUST MANAGED TO SAY LINCLOWN. wtf

OMG I LOVE THAT

Ok so i know that if i ever kill myself i’m gonna do it with carbon monoxide. I have thought this out

ur now allowed to commit die 🔫

:[

But really if you just sit in your garage with the car running, you’ll just fall into the "no returns, no refunds” sleep. Life goals honestly.

*me sitting in the car with my bag of doritos, waiting for the CO to kick in*

but what if someone found you b4 you died?? then how would you explain that

YOU’D GET A TRIP TO THE MENTAL HOSPITAL :33333

I would finally get therapy

Therapy is therapy

and mental hospital is silly, we could hold hands in the mental hostpital

Host-pital?
Who is the hosts?? demons?

*laughs in DID system*

Youre never alone if you have demons

brain friends

I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE DHMIS SONGS
M ETOO BESTUE

After the shredder sond

ofcofc

Everytime i go to the park i sing the shredder song

i’d be terrified

Its just little kids there. They don’t know. I made a kid throw up once, though. That was unrelated to my singing. It was the kid’s fault. I swear. I’m innocent

UGHUGHUGH STOMACH CRAMPS I FUCKING HATE BEING AFAB

Uteruses get you money. Sell your organs. Be steve jobs

:0000000 new bottom surgery just dropped

Girl in my class: “Is this for a grade?”
Teacher: “Why are you at school?”
Girl: “Its illegal if I don’t”
Teacher: “Ok”

I think I would love this girl if she wasn’t racist and homophobic and incredibly stupid about everything

yeah :[ but also wompwomp for being a dumb shit

I am a dumb shit

real

i just looked megan in the eyes and said “I hope they all drown” while we were talking about water rising in science

Moss you would have loved this we talk about how humans are gonna have to migrate when ocean levels go up and i just imagine them skittering away from the water.

Just imagine…all the Floridians skittering away from the rising oceans.

There are very few things that make me happy. Its just the skittering floridians and the fact that I can donate my uterus when im 21.

We gotta appreciate the little things in life. :))))))

Ok so anyways um uh, right so HAenry and Gerogy washington stared at the corpse of abe linclown. Henry couldnt look very well because he was sobbing because everyone could see the baby spines in his recently exposed tail.

Jesus christ the things i write.

George smiled. He had killed a lot of people so his sanity was just so-so. And now, to address the fact that he and abe were alive in this day and age.

It’s necromancy. Their graves were dug up and then the necromancer did a little chant that was this:

Minime dormiunt, minime dormiunt, vive, vive, VIVE

Then they did a little sacrifice of some cows and they said,

Pius vir cotidie sacrificant..

Because you’re not really a pius vir unless you cotidie sacrificant.

Don’t be mean i learn all my latin knowledge from duolingo.

SO the bodies woke up and they were all like:

“quid irrumado, vir??!”

Because if you were woken from your beauty death what would you say???!!!

The not-corpses looked at their attackers. The people who had summoned them were none other than….

 

…bluey and bingo.

Oooooooh you would’ve never guessed that would you???

No. you wouldn’t.

Ok so as george and henry were staring at the corpse, bluey and bongo arrived en scene and said “Bippity Boppity Boo.”

Then they said it again in latin, which was the same because its gibberish.

ABe awakedned and screamed because henry. Henry screamed because abe. George screamed because.

Bluey and bongo disappeared into the void.

MOstLY VOId, PARTIAlly stARS WelcoME to NIGht ValE REferEnce???

Fuck kevin i fucking hat e kevin i want him dead. He killed the SEANS. He flirted with CARLOS. He almost killed KHOSHEKH. He lives in DESERT BLUFFS.

I’m afraid of lesley from dhmis. She is just…god.

I need to post the next chapter of my banana fish fic but it hasn’t been beta’d :(

Abe linclown started sobbing because god hates him for being alive and also dead. God just hates abe linclown. Henry was so sad. His new crsh, greogo washingmachineton just got his old bf back from the Beyond.

Guys if you want to know how to bring someone back from the dead, here’s how:

Step 1: decide who you want to undead. Joe. joe didn’t deserve death in this example.
Step 2: Find the reincarnation of Joe. Energy can’t be cre\ated or destroyed, so neither can life. So joe has a reincarnation walking around somewhere. I don’t know how you will find them, but you can try.
Step 3: kill the reincarnation over Joe’s grave while speaking random shit in latin.

Congrats. You have become a bona fide necromancer.

Bluey and bongo should not be on the internet and ESPECIALLY not on ao3 crack fics.

I’m so fucking happy because i found the perfect song for my otp and i want to scream about it/

We didn’t start the fire it was always burning since the worlds been turning.

WHO leT THe WorM In mY BrAiN HAVe aCCeSS To THE MusiC?????

The asswipe who says slurs and pretends she isn’t white as white can be said, “Bullies don’t get friends” while she sat alone, because we all avoid her.

Guys i got 3.5 hours of sleep so i’m running on pure adrenaline. I was reading the dsmp fanfic cameron wanted me to read and then i was reading wtnv fanfic and at one point i made a venn diagram between two books and i also wrote down the weather for wtnv episodes 1-25.

:]]]]]]]] i’m so sane honestly.

Also this fanfic is almost halfway to being novel length.

Oyasumi oyamsumi close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream oyasumi oyasumi i know that its hard to do
Days go by shou gai ni moments pass shattered glass handsof time where’s that chime in my head i’ll just i’ll just i’ll just i’ll just
Hands hands of time will wring my neack every little moment spells regret but i don’t have to feel this way as a voice inside my head oyasumi oyasumi oyasumi oyasu-
Oyasumi oyasumi close your eyes and you’ll leave this dream oyasumi oyasumi i know that its hard to do

(awesome beat drop)

Ugh life is hard when sleep is not present

I have to find 3-5 monologues from published playwrights

I wish to do one from night vale because cecil palmer says the deepest ass things and also, “Eggs aren’t real! Nuh-uh! Show me an egg! That’s not an egg! Who let you in here?” and thats why i’m going as him for halloween. Its february and i’m already working on my costume. During the last little bit of “street cleaning day” i fucking gasped because it was so prety the words. Guys i’m gonna quote the one part of hell followed with us where Benji’s face falls off because THOSE are some pretty fucking words.

My search history is just “hell followed with us quote when benji’s face falls off” and i love myself for that.

Anthony janthony crowley is my spirit animal because he kinda just exists and takes credit for the stupid shit humans do. Like the spanish inquisition. And also because he’s in love wth azriphale and honestly aren’t we all?

I’m posting a chapter. Also fuck you guys for leaving me alone in science.

Wtf i just posted and now our work has 11 chapters and 11,999 words.

I GOT THE SONG OF ACHILLES FOR MY BDAY FROM MY GREAT AUNT AND SHE SAID SHE READ SOME OF IT AND IT SOUNDED “interesting” EEEEEEEEE it was like the time my dad was like, “whats hell followed with us about?” and i couldn’t just say, “its about a trans boy who ran from the religious cult that ended the world using biological warfare and then joined a group of gays to kill the cult despite the fact he was slowly getting eating alive by The Flood.” because my dad is homophobic and transphobic so i just said, “its post-apoctylyptic” and he was like “I love post-apoptylictyic things” soooooo rats

I want the spirit bares its teeth now, 🙁

GUESS WHO’S BACK… its mr social studies teacher!1!!! But not now

Chapter Text

Sex sex anal sex
Anyways im back fu ckers anf shit is about to get WILD

I think the funnest way to kill yourself would be by hanging yourself because you could be used as a decoration and thats super fun

Anyway,

Im posting chapter 12

Remember when i said to keep Leon Kennedy Being a slut in mind, well now it’s time i show you how much of a slut he really can be,

Help some ugly bitch is being edgy because i wont move

GUYS HELP THE DUDES SITTIGN NEXT OT ME ARE STROKING EACHOTHERS LEGS AND MOANING

Ahh wtf

I posted the s chapter of MASDAM(c) with Eric Griffin

Its so good im such a good author

GUYS I WAS WRITING THE AMPUTATION CHAPTER AND I WROTE BUTTER KNIFE INSTEAD OF BUTCHER KNIFE

Im gonna leave it :]

When you read this remember that mentally ill gay ass transvestite 14-year-olds wrote it whilst they were at school,

Okay, remember when I told you how much of a slut Leon S. Kennedy is? Well, it’s slut time baby. That’s right, the S in his name doesn't stand for Scott anymore, that s stands for Slut>

Leon Slut Kennedy.

Leon Slut Kennedy appears, wearing a slutty Santa outfit even though it’s not Christmas time anymore because sluts can do whatever they want and Leon is a fucking slut. And in his hands are Bluey and Bingo, yep, they’re back fuckers. So basically, Leon is SUCH A SLUT that he can disappear into the void whenever and wherever he wants, he’s basically interdimensional.

And so are Bingo And Bluey because they’re apparently Necromancers and every single necromancer is interdimensional.

Leon holds Bluey and Bingo by their little puppy scruffs, do dogs have scruffs? Is that just a cat thing. Idk i dont have a dog I have cats.

Leon holds Bluey and Bingo by their little puppy scruffs, presenting them to the undead (Not-Corpses, are they zombies? I believe so. I fucking LOVE zombies.) The Not-corpses stare into Bluey and Bingo’s little puppy eyes. Necromancy was a crime, but being Australian was an even bigger crime.

Zombies HATE Australians if you didn’t know. The Not-corpses started to growl and scream. They’re the Call of Duty zombies because I fucking LOVE Call of Duty. Abe and Henry and George watch in fear as the Not-corpses charge at Bluey and Bingo and Leon Slut Kennedy. They were going to be ripped to shreds.

That was until…<

BLUEY FUCKING SINGLE HANDEDLY JUMPED FROM LEONS ARMS AND SLAUGHTERED THE HOARD OF NOT-CORPSES.

Everyone’s jaws dropped, this little blue ass australian puppy fucking killed and entire hoard of Zombies BY. ITS. SELF.

She had used her bare hands (paws) to rip them apart and stuff them inside of eachother.

It doesn’t matter which hole they were shoved into okay dont ask,

(it was all of them)

Bluey turned to Goerge and Abe and Henry, there was rage in her little beady eyes. Henry started to piss angrily

(i meant to say hiss but im gonna leave it as piss)

Henry started to piss, Cats HATE dogs. And bingo and Bluey were DOGS. yucky poo poo. Bluey started running at Henry and bit his big toe, latching her small body onto him. Leon dropped Bingo, who fell to the ground and splattered because she’s like an infant. Bluey’s like also a baby but Bingo is like 4 and Bluey is like uh 6.

Just googled it, she’s 7, not 6. My mistake original Gangsta,

Grammarly just told me that Gangsta was outdated language.

Grammarly can go suck my motha fucken dick

Leon sprints to Bluey, Grabbing her by her tail and tugging. Trying to rip her away from Henry, but it was no use. Bluey was too strong. Which says a lot because Leon is a fucking GOVERNMENT AGENT who can literally kill someone with a single kick, and Bluey is a little dog girl.

Bluey snarls as she makes her way up Henry’s leg, taking the entirety of it into her mouth, her sharp ass puppy teeth drawing blood.

“OW WHAT THE FUCK AHHH AHHHH AHHHH<” Henry cries as Bluey eats his fucking leg.
Leon kicks Bluey right in the ass, but nothing could stop her, she craved blood, she craved violence, she craved murder.

Leon continues to kick Bluey as she devours Henry’s leg, she’s basically voring him. Abe runs over to Leon, attempting to finger him because that's the only way to get a slut to behave.

Im trying so hard not to sob

At this point, BOTH of Henry’s legs are inside of Bluey’s mouth and Abe is trying to tug leon and Bluey away from Hener ry ry. But then, Bingo strikes.

She unsplatters herself and sprints to Abe, fucking murdering him with the gatorade bottle she had for some fucking reason. Abey Wabey SCREAMS as the

PENIS PURPLE IF YOU’RE READING THIS YOU BETTER FUCKING TAKE CARE OF TITLER IM TIRED OF BEING A GODDAMNED SINGLE FATHER

Anyway,

Abey Wabey SCREAMS as the Gatorade bottle is forcefully shoved down his throat, Knocking off his hat.

That’s a big no-no.

His soul skitters away, running off to the depths of hell. Damn it Bingo, look what you’ve fucking done i hope your ‘mum’ gets hit by a fucking car.

This episode of Bluey is called ‘Hit and run’

Bingo starts to mutilate Abe’s body as George washing watches in horror. She rips Abe limb from limb as a normal puppy would do with a plush toy because keep in mind,

Bingo is a puppy.

She continuyes mutilating Abe, eating his skin and drinking his blood until Abe is nothing but a hat and a pile of bones.

Because Bingo and Bluey are dogs they skitter to the pile of bones, leaving henry soaked in dog spit. Bingo and Bluey pounce into the bone pile and start to dig in because dogs super really love bones because yum yum snack.

The pups begin to chew the bones as Henry looks down.

His horrendous feet are gone.

Bluey ate his fucking feet.

What the fuck.

Leon stands there sluttily, he just watched the 16th president of the united states of america, Abraham Lincoln, Get murdered by a 4 year old. George and Henry are screaming and crying as Henry wiggles his legs around, he doesn’t have feet now, just stubs. Thats gross. Yuck.

The stubs spurt out blood and puss, soaking the floor below them. It also smells like LITERAL ASS because of all the decaying bodies because time isn’t real at red lobster and bodies can decompose whenever they want.

Am I gonna regret writing this in like 5 years?

Over 10,000 words of pure chaos, gore, borderline porn, things I can’t say aloud or the government will find me, M.A.S.D.A.M ( c )

I should copyright that

M.A.S.D.A.M ( c ) ©

I’m going to hell

Yippee!

Now that i think about it, Eric griffin is kinda ugly, maybe you’re right Megan

It’s okay i still love himm

 

Megan pooks i need you to add another chapter i can’t figure out how to do it myself

Chapter Text

Psychological whorefare

Wrong, psychological whoror

Your mom’s my whopre megan

Your mom’s a whhore

Meow meow meow meow meow meow mewo emwo meow meow meow meow meow meow meow emwo meow meow meow kewo meow meow mewo meow

Slut

Words are fun

Guys i love Wednesday 13 so much i dont care that he’s a yee haw cowboy who is probably a bit weird i love him i would let that man DISMEMber me i would do ANYTHING for him uou dont understand i love him so FIUCKINg MUCHJ he;s so hot i love him so so so much oh my fucking god i fucking L O V E him

At least hes not texan. Thats the only good thing

He’s hot hes so fucking hot but i mean he was kinda ugly when he was in Muderdolls but other than that like AUGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKS>JGK>:YFSYRDFGHUISPOUYTRDYFUI*OT&RI^E%UDTFIYGUHIYF IM GOING FUCKING FERAL OH MY GOD

He looks like he does the pledge of allegiance every morning as soon as he wakes up.

Im making uncomfortable eye contact with megan as i type this

*6 photos of Eric fucking Griffing because we write yhus shit on google docs and I (daddy moss) abuse that power)

“I have to do this or daddy kohls is gonna whip me” I JUST HEARD SOMEONE SAY THAT HELP

I'M CRYING?????

So basically, Henry has no feet, Abe’s dead, Bingo and Bluey are consuming human bones, And Leon is still a Slut.

Henry convulses because he has epilepsy and the fact he doesn’t have feet triggered a seizure, Gorger stands there, making eye contact with Leon Slut Kennedy as Henry fucking dies

Well he’s not dead, just uh

Somewhere

He’s actually made completely out of cocaine, so he’s constantly high, he’s just so used to being high that he seems somewhat normal now because his entire life he has been high on coke and it’s now his normal.

I commit 95.9% of the crime in Chicago

Henry turns into a pile of beautiful white powder.

This happens a lot, when he has a seizure he can't maintain his cat form and returns to his purest form, the highest quality Coke on the market.

I made a song that made my mom question my sanity wanna hear it?

Okay

Its to the tune of the dreidels song

Jesus fucking christ

Murder, murder, murder
I do it everyday
Murder, murder, murder
With the souls i play
Murder, murder, murder
Why is it so much fun?
Murder, murder, mirder
Lets try it everyone

Wow

That was beautiful, im actua;ly going to cry this is amazing

Remember Rusty Screwdriver Abortion Party,

Heres a list of all the songs that Mossy and his silly bandmate have created:

Slave to the piss
Satan and the act of Somnophilia
I love Jesus he is my Lord and savior
Euronymous’s shit dildo
Golden shower from the gods
Toes
Toes (acoustic)
Rusty screwdriver abortion party (i did this one by myself)
And finally,

Rancid shit cube

(they’re all satire)

Our band is called Pissdogs you should check it out

(None of our songs have been released, It’s hard to have a band when the bassist lives in canada)

Remember when i had to copy an assignment so i could turn it in and i accidently copied my banana fish fanfic instead

HAHA WHAT

Once I accidentally sent my uncle a screenshot of a C.ai conversation that consisted of me talking about Jesus’s Mangina/Boypussy :3

“Nothing says america like french,”

“Nothing screams america like a big ol’ truck” (in a southern accent)

I love social studies

I think we forgot that digital footprint is a thing

 

Holy fuck madison just said a slur and the whole class went silent so everyone heard it.

“Cocaine.”

“Cocaine?”

“Cocaine.”

-actual thing i just heard

We have to do an assignment on drugs and it is taking so much effort for me to not title it “don’t do drugs, kids”

My dad does drugs

I unironically love the bee movie

THE GUYS AT MY TABLE ARE PLAYIN SMASH OR PASS

HOLY SHIT THEYRE DOING IT WITH THE PRESIDENTS OH MY FUCKING GOD

“It’s not abuse if there’s a warning.” -Moss 2024

Guys my mom told me last night while i was beating her ass at dr mario “i was gonna ask if you were dropped on your head as a baby, but i know you were. I was there”

I posreyred the decapitation chapted. iTS MY PROUDEST MOMENT PLEASE READ IT: M.A.S.D.A.M (c) against Eric Griffin by latin_is_better_than_english

Some kid just asked me if gay is a drug???? Theres a kid with a shirt that says ‘beastmode’ what the fuck is going on in this class?
I just found the heroin and rime article again and i cannot read it with a straight face

THERES MORE ARTICLES WHERE THEY GAVE THE RATS HEROIN WHAT THE FUCK LEAVE THE RATS ALONE

“What color do you think of when you think of cocaine?”
“Yelllooow”
“Is cocaine yellow?”

-this is why teachers should not get suspended for pedophilia in the midle of a drug unit

The sub just aggresively looked at my birds aren’t real sticker

Wompity womp womp

Henry continues to be a pile of coaine because that’s reall all he knows how to do when he’s having a seizure

Some guy just said “i want to be raped,”

HELP ME MY GOOGLE DOCS DARK MODE CHROME EXTENSION JUST STOPPED WORKING IM GOING BLIND FUCKING HELP

I love using the phrase “my mistake original gangsta,” its so fucking great

GUYS GUYS GUYS YOU N E E D TO WATCH THE TURN DOWN FOR WHAT MUSIC VIDEO PLEASE IT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT BREED IM NOT SHITTING YOU OH MY GODI

Some guy just said that hitler is the best gamer because he had 6 million kills and only one loss/???????? Help, i’m gay and my mom is jewish???? I’m gonna fucking die :]

IM TRYIND SO HARDB NOT TO BREAK OUT LAUGHUNG OVER THAT

This is the second time today that i’ve heard someone start singing that “i’m the alpha, i’m the leader” song and its insane
WE DID THAT SONG FOR KARAOKE OR HOWEVER THE FUCK ITS SPELLED ONCE

Womp womp

I want to do things to eric grifin

Not sex

Just things.

HELP WHY THE FUCK IS DOTTIE (penispurple) ON THE DOCUMENT

 

HI DOTTIE

Hi dottie

She’s a ginger, #edsheerancore

Rahhhh i got yelled t because im afraid of ed sheeran

Wompity womp womp

Remember when i made ms cancino laugh after i did the womp womp

Im so incredibly addicted to caffeine its not even funny.

The amputation chapter is not very fun :[ not like the decapitation chapter

Rip him apaert with yoir teeth.

Maybe in mutilation

Quin keeps singing that one song thats literally just noises and he wont shut up i swear to fuck if i have to hear “ooooOOoooooaææææææææeeeOOoaaaoooa” onre more tin e im gonna cry

what.

You’d have to hear it to understand

Someone at my table just violently and i mean VIOLENTLY thrusted into the table

“Why is marajauna in the pickle jar?’ the same guy who just violated the table or maybe quin idk i dont like either of them

What happens at red lobster, more like what happens at public schools

Idk man i saw an old man thrust into the table at red lobster i think we’re not too far off

WAIT RED LOBSTER IS PUBLIC SCHOOL IN RESTURANNT FORM

Basically,

My dad called me a “fucking queer ass bitch,” at red lobster once

Drink his blood

It probably tastes like heorin

Heori

Heroin
I did it

Yay

Grr i have to wait until science to look at pictures of my hot ass boyfriejd (eric griffin) and im mad about that

Science is next???

Guys
i have a real life girlfriend

Science is like uh like uh i dont know how long away like 20 minutes anf thats TOO long i need eric griffin now wait maybe i was wrong its like 15 minutes away

Still too long

Grr

Theratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstheratstherats

I started watching good omens last night and it made me so happy

My grflriend likes that show

“trans gender homophobics,” Quin i think agai

I WANT TO MEET YOUR GIRLFRIEND ALSO HAS SHE READ THE BOOK???

I dont know

I like to misgender straight, cisgender men because it’s funny like like

“Hello ladies~” ;))))))))

And they get real mad

Thats so wonderful

Oh yeagh so the story-

Corey is made of heroin
The end

Corey is Henry’s brother, he’s always wet for some reason.

what.

Dont ask, he’s a cat man like henry but hes more man than cat, he has cat ears, whiskers, a cat nose, and a tail and that’s it. He also doesn’t wear clothes but thats okay because he’s smooth like a barbie

what.

Corey is named after corey taylor because i fucking LOVE corey taylor

Corey is so scary but not as bad as henry

I forgot to mention he has cat toes instead of people toes but the foot part is the same like imagine a human foot with cat toes

JESUS FUCK

Im giggling

Kys for that (corey)

🙁

*internal screeching*

 

The school water is not very crisp today

I have to memorize something for drama, but i can’t.

I can, however memorize-
“I” 2- Ignite. Set fire to your home. While it's not true that wolves refuse to eat arsonists, it is a scientific fact that they are unable to detect the presence of one.

Uwu im not like other girls, i’m unable to gender

I memorized the entirety of Pieces of You by murderdolls :333

OKAY SO YOU KNOW GORETOBER RIGHT

WHAT IF I DID GORETOBER BUT INSTEAD OF OCTOBER IT WAS MARCH (please i cant wait until october)

Ok but you have to call it garch unironically

Perfect

RANALD IF YOUR STIILL ALIVE, MOSS JUST BIT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

El’gygytgyn- how do you pronounce???

“Dpnt use me as a battery or im gonna commit a battery,” -moss (2024)

Guys i found real life banana fish. it s called project artichoke which i think is funny, and basically, it was this little thing in the 70s where the cia was like ‘we should find a drug that can turn people into pupets so we can tell them to kill people’ and the other cia people were all like ‘sure i don’t see anything wrong with that’ theres also MKUltra which was just where they tried to find a drug that made people tell the truth, so they kinda just took a bunch of people and gave them a shit ton of drugs and waited for something to happen. Some guy who worked in biological warfare was taken into the program and given some druggy wuggys, and then whne he was all like ‘yeah biological warfares not very nice’ he got knocked out and thrown out a window. There were a bunch of other related experiments too and it was so silly.

I was actually up to 4;00 am because the drug testing was giving me a bad vibe

I have no fucking clue how i found this

Also i told my mother about the silly little voices in my head and she’s gon make me talk to a doctor so im finally gonna get my did diagnosed isnt that fun??/

Maybe the autism will show itself too

Rahhhh good omens hurt me

Iforgiveyouiforgiveyouiforgiveyouiforgiveyouiforgiveyou

Wait guys weeble wobble slurt is apartentaly bad person?

Boil the swedes, bake the norsks -moss 2024

 

I wish megan was a swede so i could boil them <333333333333333

Richard campbell gansey iii is autistic because he fucking dies, comes back to life, and =then spends the rest 0of that life trying to find owen glendower is literally a dead welsh king becausehe thinks the corpse can grant wishes (but they actually release a demon and everyone almost dies and my bisexual son got possessed a couple times)

Im au

Guys i want George Corpsegrinder Fisher to hold me softly like a baby and just stay there like i just want him to hold me y’know. I want to touch his neck like not in a sex way in a like just like im gonna like just touch it with my finger. I think it’s because i dont have a dad and Mr George Corpsegrinder Fisher seems like a good dad and i just want to be held.

HELP_ SOMEONE IS DOING ANDREW TATE FOR THE LEADERSHIP ASSIGNMENT OH MY FUCKING GOD

Holy fuck someone is doing a research thing for andrew tate and is reading his rape charges

The sub yelled at me for sitting in the wrong seat, but is fine with this?\\
Well i wasnt yelled at but “breaking the rules”

The sub is probably playing subway surfers on her phone right nmoe she looks like an ipad kid

Some guy just said “youre a fucking mysoginist” and then some other guy was liken “wahts a mysofygint”

“Autism is just an excuse” another guy

Raahhh theyre talking about mexicans

Megan and i have a baby but not resally megan is just the gotparent but still and the baby is named king 3 and shes perfect

That one song from the meow mix comercialbut instead of meow its just

Porn porn porn porn
Porn porn porn porn
Porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn
Porn porn porn porn
Porn porn porn porn
Porn porn porn porn porn porn porn porn

Wow

Jesus christ this teacher lost her voice because she was yelling at us all day yesterday for no reason and now were all just sitting here in silence as she writes things on pieces of paper and shows them to us

Oh my gods she be acting out thr instructions

WAIT I HAVE AN ORIGAMI BUTTERFLY THAT HAS THE WORD PORN WRITTEN ALL OVER IT

I call it the porn butterfly

I posted chapter 13

Some guy just said “i can be your son if i can call you daddy”

Whatre you reading moss????? Do your work, im afraid of the sub

Guys how do you spell aesthetic
Wait what the fuck i spelled it right

Chapter Text

Eatthericheatthrich

Henry was full of fear. He had no tail skin, and abe was back to dead and leon kennedy was a slut

Wait we want to un henry him. Lemme just…

Ok so henry was so full of sad and fear and baby spines

WAIT OH SHIT I REMEMBER NOW HENRY DISSOLVED INTO COCAINE I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTGING ELSE

Ok help so some kid just said ‘tomfoolery’ unironically

“I’m trying to think of a good mutilation device. FORK” -ranald, writing the second m chapter

Jeffrey bezos x katniss everdeen

Ok so M.A.S.D.A.M (c) against Eric Griffin is finished. Its a work of art.

Communism>capitalism amiright?

GUYS THERE IS TELETUBBIES FANFIC AND MOST OF IT IS HARD CORE PORN

I just told mr Social STudues teacher about how Katy Perry plays on loop 24/7 in hell and then he put on an entire peerformence adn i almost sobbed

Leon Slut Kennedy is like

 

“Guys, Henry is cocaine, guys, we should snort Henry,”

George washington was like “yeah okay lolz,” and sprotynited to leon

They get on their Slut knees and start snorting Henry, making sure to get all of that coke inside of their slut bodies.

And then…

George Washington has a Magical Girl transformation.

He starts to float as sexyback by justin timberlake plays, Leon watches in awe as george starts to glow pink. His president clothes being stripped off his body and replaced with a skimpy cowgirl costume. His ass enlarges and his eyelashes become longer. Leon’s jaw drops

George was having his slut transformation.

Leon had turned George into a slut.

George was slutiful, absolutely majestic.

“I can type without my hands” said a girl in my class, and then she continued to keyboard smash with her elbows.

Oh sorry back to the story, Glamorge Washingmachineton, was SLAYING 💅💅💅💅 and leon was in shock. Even the ugly white wig had been replaced with a hot pink one. It was absolutely Sluttastic

That one chick in the violence unimagined album is so hot like idk that her mouth is fucked up and she ripped a baby in half like 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 👩❤️👨 Anways im normal i promise

MEGAN HELP THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS WATCHING ME WRITE MY ACEY X WEDNESDAY LOBOTOMY FIC PLEASE IM CRYIGN

This is why we dont write lobotomy fics. (i actually cant talk because I wrote M.A.S.D.A.M. (c) against eric griffin at school)

I love abrotuona

Whorge Slutington shakes his newly discovered slut ass, learning all of his new slut abilities. His super slut powers. Slutcraft.

Isnt that one from scott pilgrim have slut powers? The blond one?

Yea

Wait its tod he had vegan powers
Wrong, they were slut powers

Todd Ingram is a SLUT

Ingram more like inbred \\

“What gender is the teletubbies?” -moss 2024

“The F in his name stands for fitzgerald?? I thought it was Faggot!” -Moss 2024 about John f kennedy

Wow the kids are talkin about undeveloped sperm?

“POV im an underdeveloped sperm *unintelligiable*,” -Ayman 2024

I dont believe he is a real person

“Im like- five penises,” -Maddie Brown 2024

She/Her is my favorite pronouns. I dont go by She/Her pronouns, if you ca;ll me a she ill probably kill myself. But i just think they sound nice. I like the word she. She is a fun word

Moss’s favorite words:

SODOMY
Heroin
She
Convulsing
Obituary
Somnophilia
Necro
Meow
Ourple (err-ple)
Commie

 

Sodomy is my favoritest of them all

I have a fucking migraine someone help me

“Gay satan turns pigs into bacon” -moss 2024

“Potato raper.” jess 2024 2hile playing hangman for the word photographer

Leon slut kennedy and whorege sluttington started making out, as you do when you’re a slut but not even a moment later, leon stepped away.

George’s tongue had turned to DUST. He was DECOMPOSING. Holy FUCK. asiogvihhjotpesihwipg

This is what happens when you get australian dogs to do the necromancy. Smh

ABRUPTLY the continent of europe was frozen from space and time. No one in our story right now noticed because we exist free of space and time, but it froze. It froze because murder. Weeble wobble slurt, was in britland and so europe was frozen so he could be kidnapped and exterminated M.A.S.D.A.M (c) style.

Dw guys the rat (not the good kind. The new york sewer kind) sometimes known as “wilbur” is dead and i killed him.

But on the other side of the world (maybe. I dont pretend to know geography) Leon was screaming louder than when my family does when we’re fighting :]

“Holy baloney” he screamed, screamily, his man boobs boobing boobily. Of course he has man boobs he is a slut, he has access to ALL the things. He has tits, and a dick and a pussy and .a fat ass.

Where is his puss puss located?

His eye sockets

When you've done too much meth and your teeth fall out, so you have to get your partner to spit chewed food into your mouth.

Ladies and gentelmens and those of us who dont’, urban dictionary.

Actually in wtnv its so funny because cecil said. “Ladies. Gentlemen. Listeners.” and i thought ‘three genders’ and then died so now i resist the urge to say “ i identify as a listener” when someone misgenders me.

Remember when i told brennen i identify as a table and he just walked away.

YES I LOVED THAT SO MUCH OH MY GODDESS.

124 pages

So when leon lost the tongue of his beloved (that doesn’t make sense but fuck the words) he went into a bout of depression and joined the screaming hoard of ceiling fans using the s of masdam ifykyk.

I do believe in a ceiling fan afterlife.

Leon’s body was goin ‘You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round’

Essays are for fucking LOSERS. I H A T E essays this isliteral fucking ass oh my god. Lets ban essays

Chapter Text

“My shirt has the marvels on it. Spider-Man, america man, green man, woman, and iron man” -moss 2024

 

Ok sorry this is The Chapter © part two.

Lets ban megan like a banned book

Okay what happened last chapter how do we continue thuis

COCKBURN

A b c d e f g, h i j k lmnop, q r s, t u v, w x, y and z now i know my abc’s next time wont you sing with me

(the abc’s are in rainbow letters because we do this on docs and the transfer it into ao3 just pretend theyre rainbows)

Suddenly seymour is standing beside you

I love little shop of horrors because im a theatre nerd.

Some bro dude just admitted to making out with a guy casually he was like “i made out with him once” i am IN SHOCK he plays football and he’s built like a football player
\

 

Guess who’s back? Its ashy washy and ash kabob. They had just had their wedding (ashy washy wore a dress because i said he did) and their honeymoon (ashy washy is asexual because i say so)

Yall i cant do this my mental health is so bad because my family hates me, school is making my anxiety so bad, so i just dont do my work and then my anxiety gets worse and i cant breathe because im wearing two sports bras and two homemade binders because im too afraid to come out of the closet because i know how my family would react and then i had a sexuality crisis and i think im aroace but im not sure of anything any more and i want to die and i almost just started sobbing because i got a paper cut.

Oh

I love gay porn

Lets put the poor poor chrystal person Amethyst in here (were so sorry amethyst)

Ok so so the scene is snowy, sunlight flickering behind the clouds, and then it slides down, showing leafless trees and finally, the Red Lobster while the stupid fucking gummy bear song plays dramatically in the background

‘Oh… im a gummy bear… yes.. I’m a gummy bear… oh im a yummy… funny… tummy.. Lucky… gummy bear.. Oh yeahh…’

We move towards the intimidating building, looking inside the frosted windows.

WHY IS THE GUMMY BEAR HAVE DEPRESSION

What is grammar

What gender is the telletubbies,

What is the meaing of life

Gummibär.

Stfu i was just trying to pirate movies and that happened

Ash and ash (theyre ship name is ash) sat at the table closest to the window and drank aggressively out of a shared milk shake while making direct, unblinking eye contact. The rat employee, Amethyst, who is actually not a rat pretending to be human, but a sentient mist pretending to be a rat pretending to be human. (only rats in human costumes can work at red lobster but amethyst needed a job and red lobster was hiring because the health inspector made some correct inspections)

Amethyst could pass as a rat, for they were no bigger than half a piece of soap.

JUST LIKE JAMES MADISON

Anyway, amythest, yes.

Wait guys im canonically michael jackson but moss’s mom is also michael jackson so im moss’s mom but hes also my grandfather and we had a potato together (harriet died)

I am McJesus’s son and grandfather and im also Harriet’s baby daddy so i guess maybe this is alabama

#siblingsbyfateloversbychoice
#incestisA-OKAY
#praisethelord
#jesuslovesyou
#WAP
#sweethomealabama

…no you see, i deal w alot of your shit but this, this is insanity

Why does my calculator spin like a fidget spinner but make a humming noise?

Oh yeah so Amythest was working at red lobster, doing work, earning pennies, getting rabies

i hate when i’m reading a fic but they make a tall character small, like gRRRRRR

Thats so real

Sentient mist pretending to be a rat pretending to be human can get rabies because theres a lot of fucking rats at red lobster because its the only place with good health insurance given the fact that there is literally a hospital attached to it.

Anyway, theyre busy y’know, serving food or whatever red lobster employees do

(they spread rabies)

They had a shift in the kitchen and had a strange order.

‘Strawberry milkshake’ read the order

“What the christ?” spoke the sentient rat mist human chrystal being, for Red Lobster didn’t have Milkshakes, let alone strawberry Milshakes.

AMetheyst hrwoeld angrily as they slowly walked to the kitchen within the kitchen. The Special kitchen. As the opened the kitchen door their jaw hit the floor, for they had seen something no one should ever see.

”pray the gay away, pray the gay away, pray the gay away, pray the gay away,”

The kitchen cult shanted in unison as the circled around the body of Dr. Rockzo, The rock and roll clown.

AYmeythist gAsps, “what the christ??” the sheet music says again (everyone knows that sheet music is the only real gender).

SUDDENLY all of the things in the kitchen cult look over towards the SHOOKED gem-mist-rat-human-chrsistyal-thing

then they all completely disregard them and go back to chanting

”pray the gay away, pray the gay away, pray the gay away, pray the gay away,”

towrads dr rockzo

Dr Rockzo screams in agony as they chant, the gayness painfully escaping his body out of each orifice in his body. The rainbow smoke (the gayness) emitting from Rockzo suddenly charged at Amethyst, Possessing yjeir frail body.

Amethyst floats as the faggotiness consumes them, entering throught their mouth. The cults starts to chant loudly

”PRAY THE GAY TO STAY, PRAY THE GAY TO STAY, PRAY THE GAY TO STAY!”

Amethsys body contorts as the gayness engufs them. Being gay is like a disease, it hurts and its bad and it sucks but yay you get soup and gatorade to make you feel all good and better.

“TRSRFRARERRAAREAERF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF AHHH AHHH AHHH AHHH AHH AHHH AHHH waa waa waa 😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣”

Ametits screams as the gays gays its way isnide of their body.

this is how i became gay, btw, just a fun fact

I became gay on decemtober 45th 5631 at 26:77 PM when Ed Sheeran came into my room, started shaking his ass and then he softly put his hand on my forehead and said “you will be gay,” and then he commited suicide in my attic :3

so real, so real.
THERATSTHERATSTHERATSTHERATSHTHE

KILL YOURSEFL ARATS
THERATHSTHERATSHTHERATS

GAY PORNNNNNN i love gay porn gay porn gay porn gay porn gay porn gay porn gay porn gay porn

i hope you choke on a tortilla and suffocate

Is that because im mexican

Racism

Im pressing scharges

:3

moss. why are you reading something tagged “priest kink”?

priest kink church sex smut

mcjesus would be very disappointed

Every morning i pray to jesus to bless me with titties in my face

what the christ

Imagine praying while you hav sex

”gay the pray away, gay the pray away, gay the pray–”

Amethyst was cut off by the enraged kitchen kult. They HATE the gays so they sicced dr rockzo on the gay

It only worked because amethyst is henry’s half-sibling and therefore made of cocaine and dr rockzo is an ADDICT

He pulled out a dollar bill and started snorting their arm

“Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff nsiif,”

Grrrrrr ranald is about to get killed

 

Guys ran is being a fucking racsim

Oh my gods i was zoning out and staring at nothing and then Red was doing the same thing so we were both making direct eye contact while also not processing that fact it was so scary

 

Amethsyst screamed as their arm was snorted by the cllownie wownie, they wiggled and squirmed as they started disintegrating.

“ATATATAT RATATA MIMIMIMIMIMI!!!!!!” Amethysts squealed, all of the amethysts to ever amethysts screamed just like that. Mi, mi, mi.

BUT THEN, NONE OTHER THAN MR ROGERS CAME BURSTING THROUGH THE WINDOW, dressed in all black because hes emo now because a fucking tiger stole his show.

Dont you DARE diss my boy daniel tiger i smoke weed with that bitch

I think my sister is a zoophile because she had a crush on him

When i was six i had a crush on gumball and his gay ass peanut gf

Wow.

“Weeedle Nweeedle,” they all said in unison

So anyway, mr emo rogers was shooked by the snorting of a child (?) and punched dr rockzo in the face, breaking his twink ass emo hands and his thumbs becuase he doesn’t know how to throw a punch because hes a good neighbor.

“WhERE ARE YOUUUUU AND I’M SO SORRYYYYYYY I CANNOT SLEEP I CANNOT DREAM TONIGGGHHHT,” Mr Emo Rogeres sings, he sinks blink-182 whenever he breaks his fingers, which happens quite often.

He was rushed to the red lospital,

At the red lobsipal, mr emo rohernts is still singin g blink-182, but now…. idk i ran ut of ideas [shrug]

anyway, the doctorns busy doing doctor treamnemt shit and y’know castng his brokwn weak ass twink fingers and fuckig also giving aystheist back it’s arm (bc red lobstibal doctors are magic ig) whenthe fUCKING kicthen cult comes in, wearing all their interestng robes and sjut i guess.

Amytghest took their chance to run speed speed away before the kitchen cult realized. They did the little gay boy run, ya know the one where they do like the gay run

Go white boy go

Um yeah soo they ran but as they ran they realized, their hand skin was flipping about. Their skin was shedding!!!!!!!!111!!!!#13

“Oh no!!!!!!! Im Sheddidng!!!” \Ametysjtms screamed and cried as their skin peeled away

The kitchen cult was chasing after them now, and they laughed and were like “haha is it’s that time of the month” because sometimes once every moon cycle, the skin sheds

Periods aren’t real at Red Lobster, so we had to replace them with monthly shedding cycles..and everyone has them because sheddin isnt sexist and supports mpreg

I LOVE mpreg!!!

So does red lobster

pregmancy

So anyways, amethyst just turned into mush and sank into the ground because they can do that. They huddled for a week with some mormon marmots and then reemerged to a DISASTER. (gasps and screams play on the laughtrack thing)

“ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH” Amethyst ARGHed once they reamerged, slimy and pink like a newborn hamster (RIP Beans, this chapter’s for you)

Yeah this chapter is actually beans’ obituary

RIP beans, you were like a year old i think idk, i wish you never got microwaved that was sad. You were pretty cute i guess, because you were a hamster. Say hi to hamster jesus in hamster heaven for me, xoxo miss ya snookus.

Ok obituary time is OVER now we go back to the emanating disaster hanging ove rthe red lobster.

The red lospital was in flames, and floating in the air was none other than BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH

BALSAC??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?

#GWARIsUhReallyCoolEspeciallyToGayTeens

He was laughing and being metal and whatever. He was also floating because i think he’s CGI. AMethyst looked up at Balsac The Jaws of Death, their eyes widened in shock.

Blsac was their HERO!!!!!!

“BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH ALSO KNOWN AS THE GUITARIST IN THE HIT HEAVY METAL BAND GWAR!?!?! HOLY MACKERAL!!!!”

Balsac the jaws of death also known as the guitarist in the hit heavy metal band GWAR ignored them

Guys… a fic just used the word scuttled… i cant function
Basturmation

I SCUTTLE INTO YOUR MOM’S FAT ASS

aw

Anyways,

Henry emerged from a portal in the ground. Vaguely, you could see the sugar rush game from wreck it ralph because that shit is where cocaine cat men live in obviously

It’s full of candy themed little girls, of course there’s a cocaine cat man that lives there, what did yoiu expect??? Did you expect him to come from like fucking idk Texas or some shit???????

Idk is cocaine legal in texas. Like oregon or weed states

It’s COMMON SENSE AT THIS POINT ALL COCAINE CAT MEN ARE FROM SUGAR RUSH

Yeah so henry started levitating and he walked up imaginary stairs (anything is possible when you're made of cocaine) Henry gingerly placed his little cat paw on Balsac’s meaty shoulder blood drippled out where he got his paw impaaled on the metal shoulder padsthat balsac has

“Babeee…… this isn;’t you….” Henry’s eyes psarkled as he looked into Balsac’s beautiful metal mask.

Henry’s basically dating everyone at this point, dream, kaz, george washingtiong, the ashes, and now Balsac the Jaws of Death also known as the guitarist from the hit heavy metal band GWAR.

woah, lore

Anyway. Balsac looked down at Henry, his jaws jawing seductively. They started making out (henry was floating at the same height as Balsac because anything is possible when youre made of cocaine)

Balsac’s hooves started to clickity clomp, don;t ask how

AMythest was convulsing on the ground, their skin epeling off of them like a skin peeling off a person convulsing on the ground. When they were free and their skin was all juicy and fresh like a newborn hamster. The skin was piled off to the side. Amethyst picked it up and put it in the collective red lobster skin bucket (for halloween decoration, ya know)

They sighed and then floated upwards (they can do this with the power of gay) and then begged balsac to sign the inside of their eyelid. So they could always see it. Obviously. This is simple common sense. all gays can float andall gays can see in side their eyes. you guys should know this since all of you are fags

Whoa is that a naughty word. Woe is me

fine. Q U E E R S. better?

Queers is not a slur

Woah

Ok yeah so balsac refused to sign their eyelid because hes tooo metal for that but he did offer to punch them as a souvenir.

Why is there guns and roses fanfic

Guns N’ Roses except it’s gay and called Guns N’ Roses

woah maybe that’s why my mom is a bisexual

Moss but its gay and called moss

MJ but ut’s gay and called MJ

Uts

die

Ran buts its gay and called ran

Ok guys hear me out on the short guy from the lorax

W H A T

the lorax????

Id smash tbh

What no what im joking what moss what please help i was joking

g u y s .

Sex sex anal sex

 

Ugh i fucking love gay porn oh my god gay porn is so amazingh

Abstinence is unreasonable you guys even if your an asexual you WILL have sex and get an std and die because stds are awful and everyone that has sex gets an std and they eat your children

that’s why i’m gonne become a nun. cant have sex them

Willy touching is inevitable

St johns wort useful remedy for depression and anxiety

Why the FUCK is the fucking oscar meyer weiner song playing in my head

WEINERMOBILE

Ok so amethyst got punched in the eye by balsac the jaws of death and it was pretty cool. Henry got a boner because hes a slut and a whore and in love with the man guy that punched a person of question age.

Henry’s boner was bonerful, Balsac almost made him as hard as listening to Guns N Roses it, just imagine what would happen if they were combined

SUDDENLY!!!!! Axl rose, the fdaggot in guns n roses appeared. Henry BUSTED, sperm sperming wildly as it got everywhere. Axl was uh singing his shit ass songs i think idk what he does i dont listen to GNR cause im normal

‘normal’ 🤨

You listen to GWAR

Balsac The Jaws of Death also known as the guitarist in the hit heavy metal band GWAR was like

“threeway”

SO henry and Axl and Balsac all started havin’ unprotected anal sex, which according to mrs health teacher, is BAD.

Thats how gonhererearea happens.

HEE HEE MICHAEL JACKSON>???!?!?2/31/1

Michael jackson looks like a genital wart

Slef inspect your genitals to make sure theres no warts guys

How do ypu know what that looks like moss??? Hw do you know what a genital wart looks
likea/???

porn.

AUYFISOHFU9RSUFGI9U0TH’0 WHAT THE FLI[P

are you surprised, moss would watch porn

Did you really think ive never watched porn before dawg i loterally told you i did like fourteen times

i ve never watched porn

same but i read smut

Lets change that

no.

Everuone reads smut its impossible to escape smut on ao3

 

Penis funny haha

No seriouly why do cocks look like that ew wtf

i’m never getting cock surgery

IM GETTING COCK SURGERY

Guys im asexual i dont wank off to the porn i watch i just watch it because its funny

same reason i read smut tbh

Yeah its like woah why the hell are you sticking your piss thing in his ass what the christ

Pee pee stick in the poo poo hole
Im gonna sob

why stic your piss thing insde a vagina. even if you eant children

Piss pole in the piss pocket

thats not how vaginas work.

I know how vaginas work dumbass i just think pisspole and pisspocket is funny

Piss rehab

Ok so give us money please its important just one dollar please we need it

https://gofund.me/29084262

GO SUPPORT OUR CHURCH!!!!!! We like jesus and hate satan and whatnot idk all i know about the bible is from good omens

Amethyst ran from the scene of the threesome because watching a cat man have sexy sex witgh two other men is a little uh

 

Not good feeling.

 

But so balsac and axl and henry were being gay, having homosexual relations as gay people do, Amethyst was screaming and crying, runnin g around like a decapitated chicken

“WAHHH WAHHH!” They cried, the image of their hero having sex with a cat man and a twink was burnt into their memory, it was horrible.

But suddenly, they started to twitch, spasming and shaking as they started to squirm out of their skin, it peeled from their bones,

“Don't do AIDS kids,” -Keelan

And then amythest shed their skin again. sigh Then they stood up, all moist again, and ran away.

“What does happen at Red Lobster???””” amethyst asked themself.

Ok im posting this

Chapter Text

TW: BRIAN WERNER (marilyn manson)

Marilyn manson is ugly and he should step into traffic

Chapter Text

HOLY SHIT GUYS YOU CAN CHANGE THE TEXT SIZE IN AO3 WATCH WATCH WTAHC ONE SEC RAHHH and um rah

I love ao3 formatting (its actually so complicated what the hell)

Alcoholic thomas the tank engine (read britishly for best experience)

Ok anywaysies, erm uh BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH he was there and he was like still having sex with two men because gay. And also he was still in the midddle of destroying the red Lobster.

The rat employees came out of their human costumes and started eating the fire. It tasted like flaming hot cheetos. BUT THERE was too much fire so they were sitting there dying (because fire is spicier than cheetos i guess) and the customers were just sitting there, shocked and looking at the empty skin costumes. There was screaming coming from somewhere bit that place is confidential.

Uh uh uh um

“Speaking of turtles, when i was researching circumcision…” -Mady, the child of marksu and michaels

znyagysd

The screaming con tinued and everyone was just sitting there like 😐 as the red lobster is arsoning down to ash and red lobster dust

But our savior, henry was too busy getting it in the ass to care about the destruction of our beloved restaurant where so much has happened.

i’m fucking quitting you dildo i hate you njkjdcfsjfjfjnfvnjvfmdc mncdmknlf /neg.

Grrrr

Wait but when was the last time you actually read this so much has happened

,,, a long time,,,,

You fake fan

technically a fake writer??? since i,,, y’know,,, dont write it,,,

dawg, why the shit was me from like 10 minutes ago so dramatic??

Ok its been a few weeks and thats ok

Only a single wall remained of the red lobster at this point, it was the west wall if you wanted to know that. Also the ceiling because yes

Everybody was screaming, it was horrible. The wall was leaning and wobbling in the wind. The ceiling was melting, squirting ceiling juice everywhere.

Birds were flying over the red lobster, relaying the scene to the government. The entirety of the TOWN government (TOWN is a town and a city and farm and a country and a continent) watched in horror.

The scene was alike to a renssseanace painting, so horrifying beautiful. Henry kept taking it up the ass as the rats melted and squealed, it was such a gory sight.

Rat guts and rat blood covered the ground, along with charred shrimp and boiling hot ceiling juice, creating a new experiereimwntal dish.

The government knew they had only one thing left to do. They went to the higher up,

King Kohls.

“What the hell do you want,” King Kohls sat majestically on his throne, gently stroking the beaver god (All hail) for the beaver god was his child. Brad Pitt was the father.

“KING KOHLS THE RED LIBSTER- REB TEOBSTER RED LOBSTER LOVERTS RED RED RED RED REA LOBSTER RWSF HELP HELP HELP-“ the lower less superior governments workers screamed in agony as they showed king kohls the footage.

The crown fell from the King’s head, shattering onto the floor.

“Oh no…. I should’ve never put lunch meat in my shoes…..”

King Kohls threw the beaver god (all hail( across the room, watching as it hit the wall and turned into a massive control panel.

(MJ this all takes place in his classroom)

King Kohls flung himself to the control panel, pressing every button in sight.

“B-b-but king!!!!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🐇💜🪈👈🥜😼👉😀😄😁😆😀😀😀😀🥺🥺🥺🥺🥲🥲🥲” The little government people cried

“You can’t do this!!! You know TOWN relies on this restaurant!!! It wouldn’t be TOWN without it!!!!”

The government things cried and screamed in fear as the King prepared the nuke.

Meanwhile, at the red lobster, Jesus appareaed, rising up from hell.

“My children… my children…”

Everyone stared in awe as they watched Jesus arise

ARISE
ARISE
ARISE

ARISE

ARISE

Everyone stared in awe as they watched Jesus arise. Besides Henry. He was still getting buttfucked. “JESUS- JESUS HELP US!!!” Corey screamed (Corey Taylor not catman Corey) Jesus walked over to Corey and kissed him wetly right on his mouth. “It’s okay my son…. We are all destined for hell….” Corey whimpered gayly and he started to seize on the floor, Corey the catman came over to him, lying beside him and preparing for the worst “KING PLEASE DONT!!!!” Despite the governments wishes King Kohls pressed the large hot pink button, sending a nuke to the red lobsters current location. He sent the birds after it, recording it in all is glory. Everyone knew their fate, they huddled together, Jesus’s arms extended and wrapped around everyone, holding them close and tight as the nuke came into sight. King Kohls started playing the star spangled banner, he grabbed the beaver got (he changed it back to the beaver) and we walked to his screen. Watching the nuke sail. He clutched his American flag as a tear slid down his face. ”So…. this is What Happens at Red Lobster……”