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Subspace stared at the door in front of her. She had been standing in the same spot for quite some time, finding it hard to raise her hand and knock on the door. She let out a sigh, frustrated at herself; she didn't travel here after years of seclusion just to be bested by nerves.
Sure, it was intimidating seeing a house instead of an apartment, and sure, she hadn't seen Vine Staff in what had to be at least a decade, but that was no excuse to be hesitant. Subspace used to be Blackrock's best inventor, and a door wouldn't have stopped her back then.
But she wasn't “Blackrock's finest” anymore, she reminded herself. She supposed she had to find a better way of thinking about things.
She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eye. It was just a door. All she had to do was knock, and she could worry about the things that came after when they happened.
She exhaled and opened her eye.
Then she knocked.
An answer didn't come for the first minute. As the silence stretched on, Subspace wondered if she even had the right house. She began to fret over the possibility of a stranger answering the door. Then again, she figured it wouldn't be so bad. She considered knocking again to get an answer sooner. While she was mulling it over, however, the door creaked open slightly.
“Hello?” asked a voice on the other side of the door.
“Hello.” Subspace cleared her throat. “I'm looking for someone.”
“Who?” the voice asked.
“I’m… not sure if I have the right place, but would you happen to know someone named Vine Staff?”
The door opened more, just enough for Subspace to see half of the person's face. She saw one eye, which widened in bewilderment and shock when it met hers.
Without so much as another word from the other person, they slammed the door shut, causing Subspace to flinch. Following the action, she heard muffled voices from inside.
That certainly wasn't what she had wanted to happen, but at least she was more certain that whoever answered the door knew Vine Staff. After all, they wouldn't have reacted that way over hearing a stranger's name.
Subspace remained standing, unsure if she should leave or knock again. She didn't know if she was welcome, given the fact that the door was slammed in her face. It was also possible that this person didn't know Vine Staff, and had instead recognized Subspace and decided they would rather do anything but hear her out. It was frustrating being unable to know what they thought, but she wouldn't blame them if it was the latter.
She bit her lip, at a loss for what to do. This indecisiveness was new to her, and she didn't like feeling frozen in place. But thankfully, she didn't have to make any major decisions, as the door opened again—fully, this time. There was a different person standing behind it, who Subspace immediately recognized to be Katana.
“You are still here,” he remarked.
“Sorry, I didn't know if I should leave…” Subspace brought her hands up to fidget; being the subject of the undecipherable gaze of Katana's mask had always made her nervous.
“‘Sorry’?” Katana tilted his head. “For all the time I have known of your actions through Hyperlaser, that's the last thing I would expect you to say in a casual context. Or any context at all, truthfully.”
“I…” Subspace hesitated. “It’s been a while since I left Blackrock.”
“So it would seem,” Katana agreed. “Still, you understand how unusual this is, correct?”
“I'm not sure I do, actually.”
“As far as the public is concerned, ‘Subspace Tripmine’ is dead.”
“Dead?” Subspace was taken aback.
Katana hummed. “Let us discuss this inside. I will catch you up on what you seem to have missed.” He moved away from the doorway, creating enough room for Subspace to walk past.
“Oh, no, that's not necessary!” Subspace shook her hands in front of her. “I don't intend to act like we were ever friends.”
“You are here for Vine Staff, no?”
“I am, but I don't want to intrude.” She slouched dejectedly.
“She is inside. If you were to see her, you would come in eventually, even if I had not offered an invitation.” Katana walked away from the door, leaving no room for argument.
Subspace sighed quietly. At least she wasn't being yelled at, she thought. She stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind her.
The interior of the house wasn't what she had expected, but she wasn't sure what she had thought it would look like in the first place. She stood in an entrance hall with a shoe rack to her right and a hallway to her left. She took her boots off and placed them on the rack, walking down the hallway afterwards. There was a staircase in front of her and a seating area beside it.
From what she had seen, the house was definitely a step-up from the apartment Subspace had visited when she first met Vine Staff, which made her… strangely happy. It felt good to know that Vine Staff was living in such a nice place, she supposed. She saw that Katana had taken a seat and was looking at her, so she moved into the seating area.
“You can take a seat,” he said.
“Thank you for your hospitality,” she said as she obliged.
“It is my pleasure, don't mention it.” Katana waved his hand dismissively. “I am sure you have many questions, but I would like to apologize before you ask any.”
“Apologize? For what?”
“Shuriken is usually more well-mannered, but he is feeling stressed as of late. Please do not take it to heart that he slammed the door on you.”
Subspace couldn't help a surprised laugh. “There's no need to apologize for that! It's understandable when dealing with…” She paused to think about what to say. “Well, me being at your door.”
“Perhaps,” Katana stated without hesitation. “But it is my responsibility to apologize for his actions.”
“Oh…” Subspace’s eyebrow furrowed. Then, she connected some dots in her mind. “If that’s the case, are you family?” She figured only a parental figure would be “responsible” for apologizing for someone’s actions.
“Essentially.” Katana nodded. “Although, not biologically. In fact, we only started to consider each other ‘family’ very recently.”
“I see. Is that why this is a house now? I remember it being an apartment building when I visited Vine Staff a while ago,” Subspace mused.
“Indeed, we found it more convenient to live in a… less separated state. The four of us had already shared the same apartment building, anyway.”
“Four?” Subspace tilted her head quizzically.
“Yes. Me, Vine Staff, Shuriken, and Slingshot.”
“Ah. I was unaware that Slingshot was family to Vine Staff. I had assumed they were only friends.” Subspace chuckled dryly. She had long moved on from the parasite-like desire to be involved in every aspect of Vine Staff’s life, but it hurt to hear how she had missed out on knowing her.
A family finding each other in the way Vine Staff’s had seemed so foreign to her. She couldn’t help the pit of regret that pooled in her stomach at the thought of how she had destroyed any chance of genuine connection with other demons by living her life the way she did.
“You needn’t worry about that; it is only natural given the state of your relationship with Vine Staff.” Katana didn’t necessarily seem upset, but it was hard to tell with his mask. It made Subspace squirm slightly in her seat. “In any case, that is not what we’re here to talk about. You have more important questions, yes?”
“Oh, right…” Subspace cleared her throat. “You said that I was dead, but I'm clearly not. Was it some statement from Blackrock that pushed that belief onto you and everyone else?”
“Precisely. According to them, you had succumbed to injuries-” Katana made air quotes, “-that you sustained many years prior.”
Subspace snorted. “They're not wrong, just a bit too early. Though, it makes sense that they'd lie about it. I was always considered their best inventor, so it seems they didn't want to ruin that reputation by telling the truth.”
“And what would that truth be?” Katana leaned forward slightly, listening intently.
“I ran away, made it look like I disappeared. I never really left Blackrock, though. I just went to live in a secluded bunker in the mountains with nothing but my own insanity to keep me company.” Subspace shrugged. It felt humorous to state it in such a matter-of-fact way. “Well, for the first while, at least. I did eventually build a… companion with the leftover materials I had,” she added.
“I see.” Katana leaned back to return to his earlier position on the couch. “And how did isolation help your case? Truthfully, it seems like it would do the opposite.”
Subspace frowned. “I don't really know.” She hadn't thought about it too much, but it seemed downright impossible that she had managed to gain rationality and proper manners through secluding herself. Perhaps it was the change of environment; Blackrock's way of life was always damaging to its residents.
Katana hummed thoughtfully. He seemed greatly intrigued by the information Subspace had given him. “The only thing that matters is that you have improved,” he said.
“I suppose that's true.” She sighed quietly. “Another question, are phights still a thing?”
“Indeed. Although I do not participate in them anymore, they have certainly increased in popularity. There are many new demons participating, almost to the point of entirely replacing older ones. It is like a new generation, in a sense.”
“Interesting. Have they changed at all?”
“Aside from some demons ‘retiring’ like myself, not at all.”
Subspace hummed. “That was all I had to ask, I think.”
Katana nodded in understanding. “Would you like to see Vine Staff now?”
Subspace felt her heart rate increase. As excited as she was to see Vine Staff again, she couldn't help but be afraid. She wasn't sure what Vine Staff would say, or if she even wanted to be in the same room as Subspace.
She took a deep breath. “Yes, please.”
“Very well, follow me.” Katana stood up and headed to the stairs. Subspace followed.
At the top of the stairs, Subspace and Katana stood in a hallway. On the wall directly in front of them was a door, and there was certainly more than one room, but Subspace didn't take her eyes off the one in front of her. The pink flower in the center told her all she needed to know: the room was Vine Staff's.
“Before you enter, I must tell you something.” Katana's voice startled Subspace. She didn't realize that she had taken a few steps and was now right in front of the door.
“What is it?” She turned to face Katana.
He hesitated for a moment. “Vine Staff is not well,” he began slowly. “You are aware of that, but not of her current condition. Once you see her, it should come as no surprise that it is the reason Shuriken is stressed.” He paused to take a deep breath. “We believe today is her last day with us.”
Subspace's stomach dropped. She was at a loss for words, and almost forgot to speak. “Are you- how can you be sure?”
“We have all known it was coming.”
“That's not what I mean,” Subspace said through gritted teeth. “How can you be sure that today is the last day she has?!” Pink fumes shot out of her gas mask before dissipating shortly after.
Katana stayed silent for a moment. “She has been getting worse for quite some time. She is bedridden now, and can barely stay awake. We believed that she would not wake up today, but she did.” Subspace saw him clench his fists. “Despite that, it is clear that the next time she falls asleep will be her last.”
Subspace didn't say anything, opting to turn away from Katana instead. Her heart raced loudly in her ears as she wrapped her arms around herself in a pathetic display of trying to calm her mind.
“Please, do not be angry. She is still with us for now; your opportunity to speak with her has not slipped away.” Katana lightly put his hand on Subspace's shoulder.
Subspace took a shuddering breath. “I didn't mean to snap, I'm sorry.” She felt Katana's hand let go of her shoulder.
She and Katana stared at the door in silence, before Subspace unwrapped her arms from herself and slowly reached for the door handle. The door opened easily and revealed a beautifully decorated room with plants everywhere. Subspace took it all in before stepping in with Katana behind her.
“Vine Staff,” Katana said. “You have a visitor.”
To her left, Subspace heard shuffling. She turned her head and saw a bed, where Vine Staff was covered in blankets and turning herself to look at Katana and Subspace. Katana approached her and helped her get into a better position. Once she was sat up, she stared at Subspace, and Subspace stared back. Katana looked between the two of them in silence.
“Katana,” Vine Staff finally spoke. Her voice was weak and groggy. “Can you leave?”
Katana nodded and did as Vine Staff said, leaving Subspace and her alone.
“Come here,” Vine Staff said. Subspace walked up to the bed and sat down at the foot of it.
When she was close enough, she could finally see what Katana meant when he told her about Vine Staff's condition. Her hair was extremely unkempt, there were bags under her eyes, and almost every inch of exposed skin looked like it was made out of wood. Her face was practically the only thing that the curse hadn’t overtaken, leaving her with a disgruntled and incongruous appearance.
“You cut your hair,” mumbled Vine Staff. “It looks good on you.”
The sudden compliment was what made Subspace realize that she should say something rather than continue to stay silent.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. She looked off to the side as heat rushed up to her cheeks.
“Ah, so you are real,” Vine Staff said, relieved. “I was sure that I was dreaming.”
Subspace turned her head to face Vine Staff again and saw that her lips were quirked up slightly. It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. Subspace never knew how much she wanted to see it again until that moment.
“Blackrock’s former greatest inventor, in the flesh,” she deadpanned, hoping that it would amuse Vine Staff.
Vine Staff’s smile widened slightly. “I'm happy that you came.” She settled into a more relaxed position, which made Subspace realize that she had been leaning forward ever so slightly.
There was silence. For as long as Subspace wanted to see Vine Staff again and make things up to her, she never thought about what she would say. The only thing she was sure of was how she wanted to reach out to Vine Staff and hold her, as impulsive as the desire was. She refrained, tracing circles in the bed sheets beneath her.
Vine Staff cleared her throat. “How have you been?”
“Lonely, but good. Better than when I was working for Blackrock, at least.” Subspace decided she was tired of only responding to what Vine Staff said and worked up the courage to say something else. “How about you? Uh, not now. I mean after I… left.” Her face heated up in embarrassment. Of course she would stutter her way through something as simple as asking a question.
“I've been… alright. A lot of good things happened, but some bad ones did, too. But above all else, I just wanted you to come back.” It was like a mask slipped off Vine Staff's face, and sadness filled her gaze in an instant.
“I-I didn't know if coming to see you was a good idea,” Subspace admitted. “I wanted to, for a long time, but I was just… afraid of what might happen.”
“So why did you leave in the first place?” Vine Staff's voice cracked.
Subspace tried to respond, but found the words stuck in her throat. She knew that leaving was the right thing to do. She protected Vine Staff, and she didn't regret it, so why did it feel so bad to be confronted about it?
In the silence, Vine Staff's eyes searched Subspace's face. She must've come to a conclusion about something, as she spoke again after a moment.
“Did you love me?” Her expression broke Subspace. There was more pain in her eyes than she ever wanted to see.
The words dislodged themselves from Subspace's throat, and she felt that she could speak again.
“No,” her voice trembled ever so slightly. “Not in the way you deserved.” She was surprised by how easily she could admit it. Perhaps it was because she truly knew the answer, as opposed to the lingering uncertainty she felt about the reason for her departure.
“I-I don't understand…” Tears fell down Vine Staff's cheeks as she weakly raised her hand in an attempt to grab one of Subspace's. “All of your desperation to save me, that wasn't…?”
Subspace took the hand Vine Staff had raised and relished in the physical contact, even if it was small. “No,” she said again, voice barely above a whisper. “That wasn't for you. I loved the thought that you could save me, the thought of getting to live another day. But that wasn't love. It was selfish.”
“You've changed,” Vine Staff murmured. “Before, you couldn't admit to your mistakes. But now… you're different. More mature, I think.”
“I learned a lot of things from you,” Subspace stroked the back of Vine Staff's hand with her thumb, “and I think maturity was one of them.” She smiled ever so slightly behind her gas mask.
“So why did you wait until now to come back?” Vine Staff squeezed Subspace’s hand weakly.
“Because, for a long time, I didn't think I deserved to see you again.” Subspace gave in to the desire to hold Vine Staff and tipped her head forward to touch her horns with her own. “I couldn't bear to put you through the torture of being around me, not when I still wasn't sure if I had really changed.”
“But you have.” Vine Staff inhaled shakily. “I-I missed you so much. I waited a long time to see if you’d come back for me.”
“I’m sorry,” Subspace said almost instantly. “I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been an idiot this whole time, but you still…” She trailed off as tears made their way out of her eye.
“Don’t cry.” Vine Staff raised her other hand, slowly, to wipe Subspace’s tears. It was surprising that she could manage that.
Subspace closed her eye and leaned into the touch, letting tears continue to fall.
“Do you love me?” Vine Staff asked as she lowered her hand. She said it quietly, like she was afraid to speak it into existence, but there was hopefulness in her tone.
Subspace opened her eye and took in Vine Staff’s appearance. It was painful to gaze down at her in the state she was in, to see the beautiful face that once held a kind smile and gentle eyes reduced to nothing but sorrow.
And that was the thing. Subspace never thought it was painful to look at demons who had been tortured by her own hand, and she certainly never found anyone beautiful. Almost all her life, she never thought of anyone but herself, but Vine Staff always managed to surprise her. Whether it be the first time they met and she tapped out of a phight to help a stranger, or how she had managed to get Subspace to realize how horrible she was and actually change. And she had done it again. She had managed to make Subspace fall in love with her.
Subspace was in love with Vine Staff.
It felt weird to admit it to herself, but she wasn’t surprised that it was true. Maybe she knew when she was still isolating herself to try and ensure that she didn’t fall back into Blackrock’s hands, but she decided that it didn’t matter when she had figured it out. She knew now, and that’s what mattered.
“I do,” she said. “I love you, Vine Staff.”
Vine Staff smiled, and it was beautiful. Subspace squeezed the hand that she was still holding and smiled too. It was bittersweet, but Subspace was happy, even if it was only for a moment.
“But… What about you?” Vine Staff’s smile left as quickly as it came.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not the only one who’s dying.” Vine Staff glanced at Subspace’s right arm, the thing that caused their fates to intertwine the way they did.
Subspace nodded slowly. “I never found a cure, but I haven't wanted one for a long time. I know that this started for a reason, so I’m going to face the consequences of my actions. I know that it’ll be painful, but that’s what I deserve.”
“Oh…” Vine Staff’s eyes darted around, looking at the various parts of Subspace’s body. “Has it… gotten worse?”
“Of course,” Subspace said. She couldn’t quite help the melancholic tone that made its way into her voice. “But this isn’t about me. You need to stop worrying about other people and rest for a little bit.”
“I can’t,” Vine Staff whispered. “I need to know what you’ve been up to, and how things have changed in Blackrock… I have so many questions!”
“It’s okay.” Subspace cleared her throat to make her voice steadier. “We can do that when we see each other again. It won’t be long, and then we’ll have all the time in the world. We can ask and answer all the questions we want, okay? You can relax.”
“I don’t wanna,” Vine Staff whined. “I’m scared.”
“I’m here, so don’t be. I promise I’ll keep you company, alright?”
Vine Staff stayed silent as she searched for what to say. Then, after some time, she simply nodded. Subspace repositioned her to lie down better in her bed.
“Lie down with me, please,” Vine Staff requested. Subspace could see her shaking.
“Of course,” Subspace obliged. She climbed in next to Vine Staff.
“I love you,” Vine Staff said, and Subspace relished in the sound of the words. She never understood how Vine Staff could manage such a thing, but to hear it spoken out loud was the greatest honor in that moment.
“I love you, too,” Subspace said, and she was glad to know that she was being honest for once in her life.
Then Vine Staff closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips.
They stayed like that for a while. Vine Staff fell asleep quickly, but she wasn’t dead; Subspace could hear her breathing.
Eventually, something that Subspace feared was proven true: her body was deciding that it needed sleep. Unlike other demons, sleep was a requirement for her. It was a side effect of her rot, and she sincerely wished that she could stay awake so she could be with Vine Staff for just a little bit longer. She knew that if she slept, she would wake up alone, and the thought was terrifying.
She hoped that she would see Vine Staff again, like she had promised. Maybe there was an afterlife. She would like that.
And as she held onto the hope of being with Vine Staff again one day, she fell asleep.