Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Core Frisk’s fingers tapped against the wood, old, stained splinters prickling their skin as they rested their cheek on one palm. A quiet huff of breath, purely theatrical, stirred the room around them.
Sci, who’d been tinkering with a new machine, what it actually was he wasn’t quite sure yet, opposite them on the table glanced up. Pausing a few seconds before rolling his eyelights, glasses slipping slightly,
“okay, ready to tell me what’s buggin’ ya yet kiddo?”
The child pursed their lips, it wasn’t as if they wanted to avoid the topic, just unsure of how to broach it. Part of the reason they had come to the scientist’s AU being the quiet work environment. The Sans of the AU, a long time friend, gave them ample time to sort out their thoughts before he attempted to pry into the problem.

Setting down his screwdriver, Sci pushed the machine aside, taking on a mirrored pose of Core frisk’s own, cheek to metacarpals, patient smile and raised eye ridge to indicate his attention.

Letting their tapping come to a rest, Core Frisk hummed, making eye contact with Sci as they began, words slowly strung together with contemplation,
“I am… struggling with the ongoing disagreements between the usual two factions.”
“the gooptroop and the paint water gang?”

Core Frisk paused, taking a second to align the peculiar nicknames with Nightmare’s Group and the Star Sanses in their head before nodding slightly, the monikers sloppy but somewhat fitting.
“Yes, I fear they’re becoming increasingly less… organised. Over the past couple of months the Omega Timeline has gotten a significant increase of members, most of the AUs being destroyed more from carelessness and collateral than actual maliciousness, a few even becoming uninhabitable due to the Stars’” mainly Ink’s “own action or inaction.”

It wasn’t the worst loss of life the multiverse had seen, the Destroyer alone had caused more casualties in his first few years than the two groups combined had in the past decade, but it was still a worrying trend. Any lost of life of displacement was a treacherous thing.
“The worst thing about it is that most of these fights seem to have started from needlessly squabbling, if they could just communicate for once it wouldn’t be an issue!”

Sci nodded slightly, finger tapping his cheek in thought,
“but shoving them in close enough vicinity to have a conversation with each other is likely to end in another all out brawl? hmm…”
Sci himself was a neutral in the two factions war, having provided assistance to both sides on occasion, more for the chance of study and science than benefiting either side, but it had led him to become familiar with most of the Sanses in question.

“Exactly! They’re like Oil and Water, except the water is somehow on fire and the oil sings karaoke at three am every Tuesday! They need to talk things out but can’t get within a ten foot radius of each other without someone getting hurt…”
It was rare to see Core Frisk get upset, while vastly older and much better tempered than the majority of the multiverse they were still a child at heart, stress weighting heavy on their shoulders.

Sci rolled his neck, bones crunching slightly as he ran the conundrum through his head,
“although, they don’t necessarily have to be in the same room to talk.” At Core Frisk’s perked attention he continued,
“well, the council has that email thingy majig doesn’t it? the one swap set up so meetings could be organized and everyone could get notified, like a few months ago when a mishap with reapertale caused the meeting ta be delayed by three hours. we could rig up somethin’ like that?”

“Hmm, I see where you’re going with this, though I don’t think emails is quite the right path, most Monsters I know don’t even know emails exist let alone send politely worded complaints and open ended discussions to their enemies with them.”
“well no, it doesn’t have ta be email emails, hell knows I don’t check mine, but pap’s and alphys are constantly messagin’ each other about shows they like on undernet, we could force them into a groupchat and not let them leave til they’re civil?”

Their fingers clicked together excitedly, smile widening in time with their dark eyes,
“A group chat! Yes! You’re a genius Sci! Why didn’t I think of that? Epic is practically always showing me memes he and Cross send to each other.”
“thanks kiddo, i’m sure you woulda’ come to that idea sooner or later though. how you gonna set it up?”

The Frisk infront of him sat down from the excited stance they had taken moments before, hand rising to their chin in contemplation.
“Hmm, well normally I would ask someone internet savvy to create one, and though Epic and Cross are the first two Sanses that come to mind, I’m not sure I could trust either of them with moderating something like that, and Swap will most likely take moderating to the extreme with a bunch of rules, which wouldn’t be effective in getting everyone to be their true unadulterated selves… I could ask King Multiverse to set one up but im not sure if he has the time or know how for such a task, maybe an Alphys? Though dragging uninvolved members into this will cause more troubles than it’s worth, maybe-“
“kid,” Sci cut in, hands tapping the table in front of Core Frisk to draw their attention without startling them,
“you’re spiraling there bud, deep breath. why don’t you just ask if any of the creators are willing’ ta help? they’re all about creativity and drama from what I’ve heard, im sure at least one of them will want in on your project, but there’s no need ta rush anything, especially if it’s stressin’ ya out.”
Sci smiled awkwardly, glasses having slipped down his face once more, never let it be said comforting children was a skill he possessed.

Frisk smiled back, taking a deep breath, nodding slightly,
“You’re right. We’re all fine, thanks, uhh, and thanks for helping me brainstorm.”
Standing up, Core Frisk slipped off the stool, a short drop as their sneakers met the linoleum floor,
“I should be getting back anyway, apparently something about an ‘AU eating freaky thing’… at least that’s what I gathered from Gaster when we last spoke. See you around Sci, I may get you added to the chat to help with mediation!”
They turned, waving with a smile as they headed to the lab door.

“you better not! you’d owe me so much g for that! be safe kiddo!”
Ski’s call faded into obscurity as Frisk stepped into the Omega Timeline, voices of monsters milling around filling the buzzing air, some faces more familiar than others but all recognisable. As they closed the door behind them they waved to a few passer bys, gaze scanning the the sunlit park as they meandered down the pebble pathways, eyes looking out for a sans in particular.

They needed to have a conversation with Ink.

Chapter Text

2:37 PM
[REDACTED] -Has Started a Chat-

[REDACTED]: oh shoot who did I have to add again

[REDACTED] -Has Added CORE Frisk-
[REDACTED] -Has given CORE Frisk Admin-
[REDACTED] -Has Added Ink, Dream, Swap, Dust +11 Others-

CORE Frisk: -Has Come Online-

CORE Frisk: ah, that was fast ^ - ^
CORE Frisk: Thankyou!!

[REDACTED]: no worries!!

[REDACTED] - Has Gone Offline-

CORE Frisk: uhmn

Killer -Has Come Online-

CORE Frisk: now what
CORE Frisk: Oh!

Killer: hello??

CORE Frisk: Hi!! Welcome!!

Killer: no fucin way is this a gc
Killer: who added me?? rhis is golden

CORE Frisk: Yes!! It’s a group chat for the express purpose of getting to know your fellow Sanses!!

Killer: hang on
Killer: brb

2:52 PM

Killer: okay back

Dust -Has Come Online-

Killer: SEE??

Dust: since when did nightmare even have a phone to add to a gc?

Killer: ur msising the whole pointttt
Killer: boss can’t get anrgy at us for texting during missions anymore cause Core frisk is here and he refuses to get angry around kids

Swap -Has Come Online-

Dust: i highly doubt he’s going to curse us out over text anyway

Fell -Has Come Online-

Fell: what the fuck

Killer: BAD WORD BAD WORD BANNED KICK HIM OFF THSI CHRISTAN MINECRAFT SERVER

Swap: what the fuck

Killer: oh my gosh hiii blue

Fell: well screw you too I guess
Fell: wait how the hell did you get my number?
Fell: and why??

CORE Frisk: that would be my doing!
CORE Frisk: well, sci, myself and an…
CORE Frisk: uhmn
CORE Frisk: associate

Fell: that doesn’t actually answer why or how

Killer: nefarious reasons probably

Swap: Hello Frisk! While it is a pleasure to chat with you, I do have to agree with Red, why are we here?

Killer: ew grammar

CORE Frisk: well, you guys have been fighting a lot, but uhm, I really don’t like it and have come to the decision that you should stop
CORE Frisk: so I got some help making this chat so you can get to know each other without being at knifes point

Killer: im already annoyed with these names give me admin

Dust: do not give him admin

Killer: ur mean to me and I think u should drown :D

Killer -Has Changed Killer’s name to DanceFloor-

DanceFloor: give me admin
DanceFloor: I pro,ise I wont misude is

CORE Frisk: while I can’t give you admin I’ll give you nickname rights

DanceFloor: oh shit really
DanceFloor: didn’t think that would work

Swap: I can’t help but feel this will increase the likelihood of a fight instead of diminishing it…

Dust: I will kill you if you change my name

DanceFloor: every 1 is mean 2 me

Dust: you don’t even like dancing

DanceFloor: tell me u don’t listen to Sophie Ellis without telling me

Dust - Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: holy shit I killed him
DanceFloor: nice

Fell: im too sober for this

DanceFloor: oh yeah!

DanceFloor -Has Changed Fell’s name to Clifford-

Clifford: …

DanceFloor: ask
DanceFloor: go on
DanceFloor: do it

Clifford: I can put 2 and 2 together I know what it means

DanceFloor: Red Dog

Swap: that movie made me cry ):

DanceFloor: I was talking about the books actually but okay

Clifford: you can read?

DanceFloor: LALALA CANT HEAR U OVER UR BWRKING
DanceFloor: mean
DanceFloor: bully

Clifford: real mature

Swap: why is there no leave option on this chat
Swap: let me out-

Dust -Has Come Online-

Dust: THE LYRICS ARE MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR NOT KILLER

DanceFloor: haha u mad
DanceFloor: u just jelous I have a great nickname
DanceFloor: stole ur whip, stole ur girl, stole your nickname

Dust: I don’t have a car, girlfriend or nickname

DanceFloor: not anymore at least

CORE Frisk: I’m so glad this chat is working like intended

—-

Core Frisk smiled, setting down the phone for a second, the device continuing to buzz softly against the bench periodically, gaze drifting from the screen to the drink in front of them.
Grillby had slid the Lemonade across the bench with a quirked brow, star flecked flames flickering in bartender-esque curiosity, though nothing near prying.
“Hadn’t taken you as one for phones, from that smile I’m assuming everything’s fine?”

Core Frisk grinned, taking a sip from the sparkling drink, Outertale’s Grillby’s was a commonplace for them to stop by, the bartender having learned their quirks and habits well enough to note the unusuality of the device resting on the bar.
“Yep,” popping the p “ a small project I’ve been working on is coming together! It still has a few kinks to work out but it seems to be chugging along smoothly so far so im positive it’ll be fine.”

Grillby tipped his head in a laugh,
“Ah, good to see you still have your tenacity kid. Speaking of, I’m assuming this,” a finger tapped the glass, “is for Sans’ tab?”
A smirk into the glass was the response he got. Their head tilted as their legs kicked calmly in the air as their gaze traveled back to the conversation on their phone, quickly having changed topic while they were distracted,
“If he didn’t want me buying your lemonade he shouldn’t have told me about it.”

—-

Dust: it wasn’t even my flamingo
Dust: I don’t care about it! I’ve never cared!!

DanceFloor: that’s what someone who would care would say
DanceFloor: thus proof thag you are a carerer

Clifford: please just turn on autocorrect
Clifford: you’re somehow lowering the IQ of everyone in the chat

Swap: wasn’t it proven that IQ is outdated and doesn’t actually reflect your intelligence?
Swap: cause like, I think Undyne was telling me about that when me and Alphys were training but I don’t remember for sure

Clifford: well he doesn’t have any intelligence anyway so my statement still stands

sans -Has Come Online-

sans: wow okay not enjoying this already
sans: im going back to sleep

Swap: it’s like, 3pm??

sans: yes perfect nap time

Clifford: don’t you dare fucking leave class

sans: haha red dog

DanceFloor: see! Classic gets it!
DanceFloor: My naming skills are impeccable
DanceFloor: speaking of

DanceFloor -Has Changed Dust’s name to DJ-

DJ: no

DanceFloor: but song buddiessss

DJ: no.

DanceFloor: you wanted Murder on the dance floor lyrics so u got it
DanceFloor: Dustin Jeeber
DanceFloor: fiiinneee
DanceFloor: never say I don’t do nice things

DanceFloor -Has Changed DJ’s name to BittenbyQueen-

BittenbyQueen: I want to go back to DJ

Clifford: Killer is really outting his music tastes

sans: wait that’s killer?
sans: since when could he read?

DanceFloor: I see when im not wanted ):<

BittenbyQueen: took you long enough

DanceFloor: at least swap still loves me

Swap: not a chance

DanceFloor: aren’t you supposed to be the guy that’s friends with everyone?? D:

Swap: perish

CORE Frisk: hello Classic!! Sorry I didn’t see you come online!
CORE Frisk: I was busy finding out about how space lemons are grown

sans: heya kid
sans: i hear they actually grow ‘astronomically’ well out by the kuiper belt

Swap: oh no

Clifford: you need to give them lots of ‘space’ to grow tho

Swap: they’re not even well thought out puns!!

outer -Has Come Online-

outer: DID I HEAR SPACE PUNS??
outer: oh
outer: since when have we had a groupchat?

BittenbyQueen: do you just have some space pun radar?

outer: more like a geiger counter actually
outer: did you guys hear about that tomato the humans grew in space that went missing for like 8 months?

Swap: this better not be a set up for a pun

outer: nono! real thing! they just lost a whole tomato

Clifford: how tf do you lose a tomato??

CORE Frisk: by the way Outer!

outer: tomato tomatgone
outer: yeah frisk?

CORE Frisk: you now have an extra lemonade on ur tab

outer: stellar
outer: who’s who btw?

sans: sans

DanceFloor: im dust

BittenbyQueen: no the hell you’re not
BittenbyQueen: im Dust, he’s Killer

outer: identity theft is a real crime

Clifford: im fell, swap is swap

outer: haha red dog

Clifford: …

Clifford -Has Gone Offline-

sans: thats what i said
sans: wait noooo
sans: red
sans: he’s dead
sans: ultimate nap
sans: im jealous

Swap: he will be missed
Swap: Alexa play coffin dance

outer: f

sans: f

DanceFloor -Has Changed sans’s name to sans.-

DanceFloor: why won’t it let me capitalise ur name

sans.: sans

Swap: he’s just built different

DanceFloor: built poorly

sans.: im not even gonn argue that one

BittenbyQueen: I AM!
BittenbyQueen: killer we’re both classic variants
BittenbyQueen: we’re literally the same as him

sans.: we’re all built poorly
sans.: comrades in builtn’t

Swap: except for me

sans.: except for blue

DanceFloor: oh yeah
DanceFloor: i got right hooked by swap last time we fought
DanceFloor: couldn’t eat solid food for a week
DanceFloor: fun times

Swap: You ran into a tree, don’t blame that on me

DanceFloor: very fist shaped tree

Cross -Has Come Online-

Cross:…
Cross: nope I value my sanity

Cross -Has Gone Offline-

sans.: understandable have a nice day

BittenbyQueen: wait
BittenbyQueen: you ran into a TREE??
BittenbyQueen: lording this over you forever

DanceFloor: I DIDNT!
DanceFloor: IT WAS SWAP?!
DanceFloor: come on blue tell em

Swap: Stop blaming me for being clumsy

DanceFloor: im being gaslit

sans.: gaslighting isn’t a real thing you made that up

CORE Frisk: what part of ‘make friends with’
CORE Frisk: this is supposed to be a friendly chat

Swap: wait OMG friend club 2 electric boogaloo
Swap: none of the other members are online ):
Swap: I miss friendship club

sans.: friendship what now?

Swap: FRIENDSHIP CLUB!!
Swap: Red, Sci and I made a Friendship club a few years ago
Swap: at that Christmas party
Swap: oh then Fresh and Error joined

sans.: im going to be honest
sans.: i remember nothing from that day

Swap: oh right, you had the punch didn’t you?

sans.: getting punched would explain the headache i woke up with the next morning

DanceFloor: YOU HAD A PARTY WITHOUT ME??
DanceFloor: whyyyyy
DanceFloor: what did I ever do to deserve this hate

BittenbyQueen: chronological or alphabetical?

DanceFloor: I’ll chronologic your alphabet

sans.: it was genuinely only meant to be a small gathering
sans.: founding members of the council you know

DanceFloor: why can’t I be a founding member of the council ):<
DanceFloor: I’d be a great founding member
DanceFloor: like Abraham Lincoln

sans.: well mass genocide for one
sans.: also that’s not how founding members work

DanceFloor: YOU JUST SAID ERROR WAS THERE??
DanceFloor: HES BASICALLY GENOCIDE ON TURBO DRUGS?!!

Swap: yeah but I actually like error

DanceFloor: nobody likes error
DanceFloor: please tell me this is a joke

BittenbyQueen: pot meet kettle

outer: if it helps i wasn’t invited either

sans.: i also wasn’t invited

DanceFloor: IT DOESNT COUNT IF YOU HOSTED IT
DanceFloor: also

Cross -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: HAHA imagine not being invited Outer, couldn’t be me

Cross: Killer, Dust, NM wants us in the kitchen for something and im not covering for you again

DanceFloor: LMAO LOOSER
DanceFloor: THAT WAS FOR OUTER NOT NIGHTMARE

BittenbyQueen: I’ll be right down

BittenbyQueen -Has Gone Offline-

Cross -Has Gone Offline-

Swap: ohhhh someone’s in trouubbblleee

DanceFloor: Shut UPSGZUGUHXSJHSSU

DanceFloor -Has Gone Offline-

Swap: speaking of
Swap: I have training with Alphys in a bit so I should go get ready
Swap: have fun you guys
Swap: also comet if u see error tell him I still have his spare glasses he forgot at mine last time!!

outer: ayeaye captain!
outer: break a leg

sans.: seeya blue

Swap -Has Gone Offline-

sans.: five g someone dies within the week

outer: ten g says it’s in the next three days

CORE Frisk: maybe we could not bet on the survival of future friends??

sans.: deal

CORE Frisk: nvm then…
CORE Frisk: oh! Also outer
CORE Frisk: Papyrus came looking for you a few minutes ago
CORE Frisk: head heading to Aurorafall last I heard

outer: oh shoot
outer: thanks kid
outer: that’s my cue
outer: may the best bet win

sans.: seeya

outer -Has Gone Offline-

sans.: whelp
sans.: nap time
sans.: my beloved
sans.: finally

CORE Frisk: bye sans!!
CORE Frisk: sleep well!

sans.: bye kiddo
sans.: keep safe bud

sans. -Has Gone Offline-

CORE Frisk: Will do :D
CORE Frisk: I think that went great

CORE Frisk -Has Gone Offline-

Chapter Text

4:47am

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: okay here me out

DanceFloor: Minecraft server

Swap -Has Come Online-

Swap: Hear*

Swap: What are you doing up at 4am??

DanceFloor: I didnt here a no

DanceFloor: also nephareiours scheming

DanceFloor: nefarerous*

DanceFloor: kneefari i out

Swap: You spelled this right literally in the last conversation we had on here…

DanceFloor: evil

Swap: This is also some how the second time you’ve started the chat by mentioning a Minecraft Server

Swap: and speaking of, said Minecraft server is part of this nefariousness? 

Swap: how exactly?

sans. -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: because NM would hate it (:<

DanceFloor: still havent hered a no

sans.: why are the skeletons in minecraft naked 

Swap: Why is that the first thing you ask

Swap: and more importantly why are YOU of all Sanses up at 4am??!

sans.: also nefarious scheming 

sans.: why are you up?

Swap: Currently getting ready for my morning jog

sans.: ew exercise 

DanceFloor: maybe they just feel like being nakey?

DanceFloor: isn’t one of blus aus always naked??

Swap: ew

Swap: Don’t remind me

Swap: Why is it always my aus that are weird

sans.: felt

BittenbyQueen -Has Come Online-

BittenbyQueen: why tf are you all talking

BittenbyQueen: please shut tf up

BittenbyQueen: Killer i swear to fuck

BittenbyQueen: we have a mission at like ass oclock in the morning let me fucking sleep

DanceFloor: mute ur fone dumbass 

BittenbyQueen: on sight motherfucker

BittenbyQueen: On. Sight.

BittenbyQueen -Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: wait doesnt the stray or smthn wear clothes??

Swap: I would like to pretend this conversation didn’t happen 

Swap: I should be heading off anyways, Alph is probably waiting for me

sans.: tell her i say hi

Swap: she still doesn’t know you exist

Swap: I’d like to keep it that way knowing the Multiverse’s… Multiversness 

sans.: do we embarrass you?

Swap: Unbelievably so

Swap: I’ll tell her my friend wished us luck in training

sans.: less than i hoped but more than i expected

DanceFloor: tell her I also say hi :D

Swap: no.

Swap -Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: wtf

DanceFloor: >:0

DanceFloor: WTF??!

DanceFloor: are u seein this shit??

sans.: oh i’m seeing it

sans.: agreeing with it too

DanceFloor: Hey ):

DanceFloor: I’m underapreachated in my line of work 

sans.: you’re getting paid?

DanceFloor: I get 2 g every time I make someone mad enough to leave the room

sans.: the ideal lifestyle 

sans.: is nightmare currently hiring?

sans.: asking for a friend 

DanceFloor: GASP

DanceFloor: ARE YOU INTERESTED IN JOINIG THE BAD SANSES??

sans.: wait you guys actually call yourself bad sanses?

sans.: i thought that was a name the stars made up

DanceFloor: oh it is but NM absolutely HATES it so it’s funny

sans.: starting to notice a theme here

DanceFloor: thats besides the point!!

DanceFloor: DOGDING THE QUESTION

DanceFloor: oh wait nvm hang on a sec

DanceFloor: someons knocking on my door

DanceFloor: brb

DanceFloor: desertuffhufjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

DanceFloor -Has Gone Offline-

sans.: there goes all my future job prospects 

sans.: killed by the hands of some unknown assailant 

sans.: thinking about it it’s probably actually dust 

sans.: wait does this mean i owe outer 10g 

sans.: hate it here

sans. -Has Gone Offline-

—-

Swap let out a low whistle of air, relief sagging his shoulders as the phone in his pocket finally stopped buzzing.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy talking to the other AUs, quite the opposite in fact. It was nice to have a conversation with someone who didn’t infantilize him every waking second.

He, however, had an unfortunate reputation of not being the most ‘popular’ person on the UnderNet, hell, in the underground for that matter, and Alphys, trained captain as she was, would pick up on the unusual amount of notifications blowing up his phone.

Rolling his stiff shoulder, having strained it in a tussle with an Underfell adjacent AU a few days ago, Swap slowed his jog, the turn off to Alphys’ house in sight.

The sound of Alphys exerting herself echoed as he rounded the corner, the Guard Captain already moving through her warm ups, talons planted in the damp grass as her axe sliced through the air with a low shink, the weight of the metal carrying her shoulders forward with inertia.

Pausing to wipe her brow, Alphys turned just in time to see Swap approaching, gloved hand held up in a wave,

“Captain Alphys! Good morning!”

Setting the axe against the yellow brick of her house, she grinned back at him sharply,

“Sans! Great to see you bright and early, I see Papyrus didn’t accept the offer to join?”

Swap shook his head, huffing, “You know my bro, the lazy bag of bones is sleeping off a food coma from his late night trip to Muffet’s yesterday. I did ask though, as always.”

“Ah, maybe next time, I’ve been trying to encourage Undyne to join us too, we’ll get them here yet!”

Swap laughed at his friend's headstrong declaration, slipping his phone and house keys from his pocket to set them on a designated bench, not willing to risk either getting damaged when the sparring began. 

“Oh, that reminds me, one of my friends, Vanilla, wishes us luck in training today.”

“Vanilla huh? I feel ya’ ve mentioned them before, you should invite them along one day too, the more the merrier.”

As Alphys cleared some of the debris from the training mat, Swap hummed, imagining Classic willingly doing physical exercise made his chest hurt with unbidden laughter, “I’m pretty sure he would rather throw himself into Hotland’s magma pits sooner than he would join us, but I’ll tell him you suggested it.”

“Well, can’t win ‘em all.” Alphys clapped her hands together, a crisp sound in the morning air, “enough of that! To training!”

 —-

7:48am

Ink -Has Come Online-

Ink: I HAVE ARRIVED

Ink: BOW DOWN TO MY GREATNESS MORTALS!!

Ink: *EXPLOSION SOUNDS!!*

Clifford -Has Come Online-

sans. -Has Come Online-

Clifford: how does this chat manage get worse every time I log on

Clifford: why are you so hyperactive do you know how fucking early it is??

Ink: Never too early to be awake 

sans.: you’re a vile, disgusting creature ink

sans.: go to sleep

Ink: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!

sans.: sleep for a week?

sans.: uh yeah, i sure hope i do

sans.: why are you up though red??

Clifford: it’s the 4th

sans.: happy birthday?

Clifford: NO WE HAVE A COUNCIL MEETING TODAY ASSHOLE

Clifford: WE ORGANISED THIS WEEKS AGO

Clifford: YOU WERE THERE

Ink: oh

Ink: unhappy birthday then

Clifford: you two are in charge of it??

Ink: that’s where you’re wrong my ami 

Ink: I am banned from being in charge of things

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

Ink: according to Dream I’m 

Swap -Has Come Online-

Ink: “irresponsible”

Clifford: I can assure you he’s not the only one that thinks that 

DanceFloor: irresponsible is actually just code for super awesome and cool

DanceFloor: I would know

DanceFloor: I’m pretttty good at being super awesome and cool

sans.: welcome back blue 

Swap: oh fuck who let Ink in here

Ink: BLUE!!

Ink: MY BELOVED <3<3

Swap: I don’t know this man.

Ink: psssshhawww

Ink: he loves me guys

Ink: promise

sans.: how was training??

Swap: I’m not even going to lie it was so stressful 

Swap: I accidentally sprained Alph’s wrist

Clifford: ha L

Swap: Redddd I felt so bad

Swap: ahh I’m in shambles

sans.: would you like me to bring you a milkshake or something from grillby’s when we’re at the meeting today?

sans.: the meeting that i definitely remembered 

Clifford: you sir are a liar and a scoundrel 

DanceFloor: MEETING??

Swap: aw, thanks Class, that’s real sweet of you :D!!

DanceFloor: can I come to the secret sans meet up OwO??

Ink: Sure :D

Swap: No.

Ink: yeah, what blue said! no

DanceFloor: ):<

DanceFloor: this is so unfsair

sans.: also

sans.: what time was the meeting again?

sans.: asking for a friend 

Clifford: you have friends??

sans.: do you guys hear barking?

sans.: i hear loud annoying barking

Clifford: STFU

sans.: you’re worse than toby 

Clifford: your stupid dog??

Swap: Toby likes my Tacos :D

Swap: RED TAKE THAT BACK

sans.: toby is an intellectual

sans.: like father like dog

Clifford: you’re both equally annoying

DanceFloor: things are really heating up in the good guys fandom rn

DanceFloor: gonna be an enemies to lovers

sans.: do not encourage them

DanceFloor: them?/

sans.: this is like the second chapter 

sans.: don’t get into shipping territory already

sans.: also no one answered me

sans.: meeting time please thank you

Clifford: 9 something 

Swap: 9:30am

Ink: idk

Ink: 9:30am

sans.: who’s idea was it to create a meeting for ‘sanses’ before 2pm

sans.: only like three people are gonna show up 

sans.: and swap is going to be two of them

Swap: hey!

Swap: …

Swap: I can’t be mad you’re right

Swap: this is a disaster

DanceFloor: I could make it for people OwO??

Swap: four*

Swap: and no

Swap: yet again

Clifford: I’m already having to lie to my brother about why I’m up so early

Clifford: he thinks I’m actually taking sentry duty seriously 

Clifford: if I just accidentally signed myself up for more duties and no one even shows up I’m joining the other team.

DanceFloor: :D!!

DanceFloor: you’re already edgy enough you’ll fit right in

DanceFloor: I’ve been looking for an excuse to replace ol’ Dusty 

sans.: can’t believe you’re divorcing us

Clifford: weren’t you the one discouraging shipping literally two minutes ago 

sans.: i thought we had something 

Swap: I hate it here.

Swap: I’m punching all three of you when I see you later

Swap: 1hp be damned

Clifford: tf did I do??!

Swap -Has Gone Offline-

Clifford: blue??

Clifford: HEY!!

Ink: mic dropped 

sans.: i should probably start getting ready

sans.: gotta drop paps off at undyne’s first

sans.: see ya at the meeting

Clifford: if we live that long

sans. -Has Gone Offline-

Clifford -Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: r we sure smuggling me in isn’t an option??

DanceFloor: like in one of those big cakes

DanceFloor: trogian horse style

Ink: oh my stars ur so right

Ink: I am sure I have enough cake batter somewhere 

DanceFloor: oh wait hang on

DanceFloor: noooo

DanceFloor: Horror made pancakessss

DanceFloor: I love mischief but Rorry’s pancaskes are mu life blood

Ink: aw ):

Ink: and I had just found the fondue too…

DanceFloor: truly the worst

DanceFloor: BUT MY STOMACH CALLS ME!1

DanceFloor: stay strong solider

DanceFloor: we will reconvene at the next earliest time

Ink: yes captain my captain

Ink: fuck them pancakes up for me 

DanceFloor: you have my word

DanceFloor -Has Gone Offline-

Ink -Has Gone Offline-

Error: wtf just happened??

Chapter Text

The split rush of nonexistence, an uncomfortable but expected byproduct of teleportation, was enough to snap sans awake as he found himself in the council’s yawning hall. The chill of Snowden dissipating as he shook the snow out of his jacket.

With an hour left before the meeting the room was still mostly empty. The long conference table stretched across half the room, an eclectic mish-mash of chairs cluttered around it at imperfect intervals, most likely left that way from the previous meeting, though a few of the seats were taken by recognisable faces, some even spreading to the worn beanbags that littered the front half of the room. 

It took less than a minute to spot Swap, the taller Sans talking animatedly with Dream in the center of the room, arms flying in every direction frighteningly close to Dream’s face for the guardians own comfort.

Swaps rant became more intelligible as sans picked his way across the room, narrowly dodging a flailing fist in the process.

“wow, i know ya said ya wanted to punch me an’ red but i figured you were exaggerating.”

“Classic!”

Swap was on him in an instant, gloved fingers digging into his shoulders, eyelights searching his face with desperation.

“Please tell me you saw what Ink and Killer were planning to do in the Group-Chat! I cannot be the sole one held responsible for their stupidity if they go through with such a stupid plan.”

Furrowing his brows, sans gaze drifted to his front pocket, his phone. (he’d been valiantly ignoring the constant buzz of notifications for the past hour)

“the cake thing?”

“I’m sorry, pardon my interruption, but I’m still confused as to what you’re talking about?”

Dream, attention flicking between the two skeletons before him, interrupted, polite confusion in his tone. “You mentioned a Group Chat? With Killer? As in one of our adversaries?”

sans raised a brow at Swap, the tallest of the group flushing as he rushed to explain,

‘Right! Yes, it sounds weird out of context, I’m still not… entirely sure what it’s about.” He paused, collecting himself. “A few days ago, a group of AUs, at least ten if I remember correctly?”

sans shrugged.

“Yeah, we’ll go with that, anyways, we were all added into this group chat, it’s being organised by CORE Frisk. I’m also not entirely sure who’s actually in the chat now that I think about it…”

Dream glanced at sans, if anything the guardian seemed more confused but nodded along regardless, “And that lead to Killer and Ink, teaming up in, something about baking cakes?”

sans handed Swap the drink, wiping the condensation off his hands as he took over the conversation,

“from what i know, it’s an elaborate scheme to help break the ice between the two major au factions, ease up on the hostilities n’ such. i’ve personally seen killer, dust, and cross interact with the chat. someone needs to get killer autocorrect by the way. but it’s actually been pretty calm so far, if you ignore the poor recruitment attempts.”

“Ugh! But then of course Ink came online and, despite common sense, he’s planning on sneaking Killer into the meeting today, Deus ex Cake.” Swap pinched the ridge between his eyes with an exasperated huff. “Long story short, if you see him with a cake, kill him, on sight.”

“Euhg man, who are we killin’ on sight?”

Swap found himself flinching at the sudden intrusion, registering Fell now leaning over sans’ shoulder shameless in his eavesdropping.

“heya red, we’re talking ’bout the group chat, blue’s gonna murder ink.”

“Uhmn! No? Let’s not, no murder for today please, at least wait until after the meeting.” Dreams circlet flashes in the light as he shook his head desperately, nervous laugh bubbling up, “Oh stars, if I knew not checking my phone would lead to this I would have gotten myself a new charger a lot faster. Look, we all know how Ink can be, while an idiot, said with the most affection possible, he wouldn’t actually go that far.” 

At the unimpressed look he rushed to explain himself, “as far as I’m aware neither of the two can’t bake for the life of them, for one, and secondly, I feel we’re at much more risk of him leaking information directly into this ‘group-chat’ a lot sooner than him actually holding a successful infiltration mission.”

Skeletons didn’t have blood, not in the sense that gave their face any colour, so the fact Swap somehow went more pale was an interesting feat in of itself,

“Holy shit, I didn’t even consider… He’s going to tell them everything via some stupid meme- we’re dead, done, that’s it!”

“i mean, that implies he actually remembers and information in the first place”

“Yeah, and ‘sides, us three, an’ I’m assuming Dream, are also on the chat, we can run interference if needed.” Fell rested a hand on Swap’s shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze as he lent his weight on sans, relaxed.

Dream nodded, bringing a hand to his chin as his mind raced, thinking,

“I feel our first priority should be to find out who’s actually in this group chat, we can at least minimize the chance of an information leak if we know who we’re dealing with. Other than that, I suppose I’m going to have to add cake to the prohibition board…”

The guardian’s gaze drifted to the door of the room, a small whiteboard hanging innocently next to the entrance, several words scrawled in neat cursive under larger bold letters ‘BANNED ITEMS’, many of said words were smudged, dents along the actual board betraying the unfortunately common use it was put through.

Groaning Swap turned his attention to sans and Fell,

“I suppose that’s all I can hope for at the moment, at least until Ink actually arrives, until then,” neither skeleton made it more than two steps into their escape attempt before Swap’s grip found their shoulders, tight with warning, “ I think I promised you two a ‘loving greeting’ earlier in the chat. Let’s get back to that while we wait huh?”

—-

11:30am

Swap -Has Come Online-

Dream -Has Come Online-

Swap: @everyone

Swap: @everyone

sans. -Has Come Online-

Swap: @everyone

Clifford -Has Come Online-

Cross -Has Come Online-

Cross: ??

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

Dance -Has Come Online-

Outer - Has Come Online-

Swap: @everyone GET ONLINE NOW

BittenbyQueen -Has Come Online-

Horror -Has Come Online-

CORE Frisk -Has Come Online-

Dance: wait what

Dance: wtf is this

Clifford: Hell

sans.: hell

Dance: ah, understandable

Dance: have a nice day

Dance: ref/

Nightmare -Has Come Online-

Science -Has Come Online-

Nightmare: Dream, what did you do.

Dream: WH

Dream: I didn’t do anything??

Epic -Has Come Online-

Ink -Has Come Online-

Swap: Is that everyone?

Swap: CORE Frisk?

CORE Frisk: uhmn

CORE Frisk: yes? Why?

Swap: good

Swap: it’s come to my attention half of you weren’t even aware this chat existed 

Clifford: what a lucky and blessed life you had

Clifford: now you’re burdened with the curse of knowledge

Dance: omg is that Fell??

Dance: haha red doggy

Clifford: go die actually

Swap: Yes that’s Red

Swap: no that’s not the point

Swap: what’s important is this chat

Swap: and the fact we’re stuck here

Nightmare: What Idiotic thing have you gotten us into now?

Nightmare: And how do I leave.

Science: YOU CANT!!

Science: BOOM AHAHA EXPLOSIONS AND EVIL LAUGHTER!!

Science: Programmed this bad boy myself

Science: I’ll take my applause now

CORE Frisk: Thank you Sci (^o^)

Outer: wait we’re actually stuck here?

Outer: Oohh boy

sans.: ride or die?

sans.: more like ride and die

Outer: this is going to be so chaotic

Ink: it’s great :D!!

Dream: besides that horrifying revelation

Dream: Swap @‘ed everyone for a reason 

Swap: yesss

Swap: introductions

Swap: if I’m going to be cursed with this chat I may as well know who I’m stuck with

Error: you could just throw your phone away

Cross: when tf did he come online??

Swap: unfortunately I DO actually need my phone

Swap: as someone unable to travel between AUs by myself I cannot get rid of it

Outer: can’t watch cute cat videos without a phone

Swap: and I can watch cute cat videos without a phone

Nightmare: So, you’re just expecting me to willingly go along with this?

Nightmare: I still don’t see the point of this messaging group.

DanceFloor: party pooper alert 

Dance: cause that naming convention isn’t gonna get confusing

Dance: /sarc btw

DanceFloor: me? Persnaly?

DanceFloor: have been having a great time

DanceFloor: well duh that’s why imma give u all nicknames

Clifford: how tf do you still have NickName permissions??

BittenbyQueen: I’m going to accidentally misplace my phone down your throat

Horror: 8 minutes 

Cross: FUCK

Cross: hnnn

Cross: I’ll give it to you at lunch

Horror: (:

Clifford: ??

Cross: we had a bet on how long it would take Dust to threaten bodily harm on Killer

Cross: I bet at least 15 minutes ):<

Epic: Gambling is a serious issue

Cross: Dude

Cross: y would u betray me like that??

Epic: Hatsune Miku hates gamblers

Epic: you’ve succumbed to sin

Epic: unforgivable

Clifford: he’s literally killed people??

Clifford: you’re drawing the line at Gambling??

Epic: ye

Epic: who hasn’t killed people here

Clifford: …

Clifford: that’s actually kinda fucked up

Dance: the charges never stuck so anything you have on me is merely allegations

Cross: wait seriously??

Cross: we’ve all killed someone??

Cross: DREAM??! SWAP???!

Error: Is that a rhetorical question?

Cross: IM NOT TALKING TO YOU

DanceFloor -Has Changed Horror’s name to Canable-

Canable: ??

Canable: that’s

Canable: what

DanceFloor: cause you’re a canable

Canable: ??

Canable: WAIT

Canable: do you mean Cannibal??

DanceFloor: THATS THE BITCH

Canable: I literally have never been a Cannibal ever

Canable: we’ve been living together for years?? I COOK FOR YOU?? how do you not know that??!

Clifford: wait what

Clifford: isn’t cannibalism what you’re known for

Canable: no??

Canable: who told you that?

Outer: yikes

Dance: well this got awkward

Science: that is what your AU is known for

Science: is it not true you eat humans?

Canable: OKAY!

Canable: first of;

Canable: eating human isn’t cannibalism we’re quite literally different species 

Canable: aren’t you a scientist shouldn’t you know that?

Science: Theoretical Physics and Biology overlap less than you may think

Canable: and secondly

Canable: I’ve literally never even eaten human

Canable: WHO SAID IVE BEEN EATING HUMAN??

Dream: well that’s a lot of new information I have to update

DanceFloor -Has Changed Canable’s name to Cantable-

Cantable: Error

Cantable: top left shelf in the kitchen

Error: ??

Error: HOLY SHIT

Error: you’ve lowered your AU‘S priority on my hit list by three spaces

DanceFloor: WAIT THAT WAS MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE

Error: L + Bozo + Ratio + idgaf

Nightmare: I am disowning all of you.

Nightmare: Effective immediately.

sans.: ew another grammar freak

sans.: it’s fatal unfortunately

sans.: stage four ‘uhm actually’

Swap: I feel like we’ve drifted off topic here…

Swap: introductions??

CORE Frisk: yes :)

CORE Frisk: I’ll go first

CORE Frisk: Hello! I’m CORE Frisk and the creator of this chat :D

CORE Frisk: Sci now you :3

Science: I’m Sci

Science: you’ve literally all met me at some point

Science: I’m part of the unaligned AUs, so I’m neutral here

Science: oh yeah and I helped code this chat

Clifford: I still have a fucking bone to pick with you Sci

Science: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

sans.: for personal reasons i’m banning sci and red from interacting

sans.: also

sans.: i’m sans

sans.: nailed it

Science: nooo Sans please I told you that in confidence 

sans.: and it will stay confidential if you play your cards right

Swap: ANYWAYS

Swap: I’m Swap, or Blue to those close to me

Swap: I’m one of the Founders of the Star Sanses, and from a Core AU

Swap: I share the singular Braincell with Dream

Nightmare: I can not believe we’re actually going through with this.

Clifford: I’m Fell, Red, Cherry or whatever tf you wanna call me

Clifford: I’m from a Core AU and aligned with the Stars

Dream: I think getting the introductions over now is better than dragging them out Nightmare

Dream: speaking of

Dream: I’m Dream, one of the Founders of the Stars

Dream: I’m the Guardian of positivity and brothers with Nightmare

Dance: can’t see the family resemblance /LH

Outer: IM OUTER!!

Outer: and while im technically a Neutral council member I’ve assisted the Stars a few times

Outer: and no the irony isn’t lost on me either

sans.: space is so cool

Outer: you’re so right I love you

Clifford: ew

sans.: ignore red

sans.: he’s still struggling with the divorce 

Clifford: I hope you’re banned from Grillby’s

sans.: how fucking dare you

Ink: I am the coolest guy here

Ink: the wonderful illustrious INK SANS!!

Ink: I know I know

Ink: I’m awesome 

Error: and delusional apparently

Ink: ):

Ink: ANYWAYS <3<3

Ink: I’m the Protector of the AUs and a founding member of the Star Sanses

Ink: and I’m much cooler than the lame stinky Destroyer ):<

Error: whatever helps you sleep at night 

Ink: Oh and I’m friends with the creators :D

CORE Frisk: awee, that’s so sweet

Dance: well uhh

Dance: if no one else is gonna go??

Dance: I’m Dance (not sure why I’m actually in this chat)

Dance: I’m not aligned with either side but am a council member

Dance: ALSO

Dance: @DanceFloor

Dance: I’m the superior Dance here /threat

DanceFloor: nu uh

Epic: TF you mean Nuh Uh

Cross: The fuck you mean nu uh

DanceFloor: Finders Keepers

DanceFloor: shoold have loged on earlier >:P

DanceFloor: but while im hear

Swap: Here*

DanceFloor: I’m Killer

DanceFloor: I’m fucking Badass

BittenbyQueen: Debatable

DanceFloor: dude were in the same team ur supposed to back me up ):

DanceFloor: eneyways

DanceFloor: I’m part of the Bad Sanses and also used to be a Classic Timeline

DanceFloor: I’m part of the Murder Time Trio with Dust and Rorry

DanceFloor: and I will be renaming most of you (:<

BittenbyQueen: Dust.

BittenbyQueen: Bad Guy, used to be a Classic AU

Clifford: real informative

Cantable: I’m Horror

Cantable: I was originally Neutral but am now aligned with Nightmare

Cantable: used to be a Classic AU

sans.: im noticing yet another disturbing pattern 

Science: those are some funky statistics 

Science: interesting 

Cantable: because Nightmare won’t, Cross you’re next

Cross: ah fuck

Cross: im cross

Cross: used to be Neutral but am now a part of the Bad Sanses

Ink: only in this continuation of the multiverse 

Cross: what

Error: no fourth wall breaking asshole squid

Cross: what??!

Ink: (:

Cross: allllright then…

Cross: uhh, yeah

Cross: that’s basically it??

Epic: MY TURN BRUH

Epic: I’m Epic the prank master

Epic: and I’m Neutral but hang out with Cross a lot

Cross: so cool dude

Epic: I know bruh

Nightmare: Disgusting.

Nightmare: If I get this over with I can leave without frivolous complaints, yes?

Swap: I mean? Nothing’s stopping you??

Swap: so yeah

Nightmare: I am the King of Negativity.

Nightmare -Has Gone Offline-

Dream: yeah, i'm just surprised he stuck around as long as he did actually 

Dream: anywho

Dream: that just leaves Error right?

Swap: as far as im aware

Swap: we’ve had Dream, Classic, Red, Sci, CORE Frisk, Ink and myself

Swap: Outer, Epic and Dance

Swap: Dust, Killer, Horror, Cross and Nightmare 

Swap: so yes

Clifford: nerd alert

Swap: insecure asshole alert

Clifford: holy shit

Clifford: since when did you clap back 

Clifford: who taught him how to do that??

Swap: wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy

Epic: OHHHHHH

Epic: *KAZOO SOUNDS*

Dream: we’re getting off track again

Dream: Error??

Error: I liked this chat better when only three people were active 

Error: I am Error, the God of Destruction and the Destroyer of AUs

Error: how’s that for a fucking title Mr ‘im king of negativity’

Error: I am a Neutral 

DanceFloor: ain’t no fucking way

DanceFloor: your 100% a bad guy

Swap: You’re*

Error: Askers?

Error: I’m also in Communication with the Creators

Error: that actually like me better than they like Ink

Ink: NOT TREU

Ink: YOURE A FCUKNG LIAR

Dream: OKAY

Dream: that went well

sans.: the delusion is catching

Dream: Shut.

Dream: glad we got the introduction over with

DanceFloor: NICKNAME TIME

Clifford: here we go

DanceFloor -Changed Cross’s name to Crossant-

Ink: that is an affront to the French language 

Ink: how dare you

Crossant: honestly could be worse

Crossant: I hate it but at least it’s not Clifford

Crossant: small miracles

Clifford: die

DanceFloor -Changed Dream’s name to MCYT-

MCYT: TAKE THAT BACK

sans.: ew

Ink: do you know how many people you just triggered with that??

MCYT -Changed MCYT’s name to Dream-

DanceFloor: it’s rude to return a gift

DanceFloor: ):<

Dream: you can change my name

Dream: just please make it something I won’t get asked about if someone reads over my shoulder

Dream: I have a reputation to uphold (,:

DanceFloor: goody too shoes

Swap: Two*

DanceFloor -Changed Swap’s name to Autocorrect-

Autocorrect: …

Autocorrect: fuck you

sans.: technically it’s manual correction 

DanceFloor -Changed Autocorrect’s name to Manualcorrect-

DanceFloor: I live with a bunch of critics!!

DanceFloor: how am I supposed to get my creative juices flowing if ur always judgin me

Manualcorrect: preferably you wouldn’t 

Manualcorrect: is he always like this??

BittenbyQueen: you can keep him if you want

Manualcorrect: Fuck no

DanceFloor -Changed Dream’s name to Boat-

Boat: ??

Boat: okay now im just plain confused 

DanceFloor: Dreamboat <3<3

Error -Has Muted DanceFloor for 24 Hours-

Science: how tf did you do that?

Science: you don’t have OP permissions??

Boat: nono

Boat: don’t look a gift horse in the mouth

Dance: and with that

Dance: I’ll take my chance to dip

Outer: yeah I gtg too

Outer: it’s 12:40 and Paps and I are having Lunch with Undyne and Alphys today

sans.: run while you still can

sans.: or take a leisurely walk

sans.: whatever floats your goat 

Dance: well cya guys

Dance: I’ll be sure to log on more often

Dance -Has Gone Offline-

Science: Bye Dance

Science: ah he already left

Outer: you can say bye to me :3

Outer -Has Gone Offline-

Science: Bye Outer!!

Science: THE BETRAYAL 

Clifford: HA

sans.: you could say bye to me :)

Science: no

Science: im not falling for that again

sans.: learned helplessness strikes again

Cantable: oh

Cantable: Dust, could you get Killer

Cantable: Lunch is ready

Cantable: Nightmare is already here so you don’t have to worry about him

BittenbyQueen: ugh

BittenbyQueen: fine

BittenbyQueen: but if he starts whining about being muted im pushing him down the stairs

Cantable: fair

Cantable: im assuming you’re staying to eat with us @Epic??

Epic: you know it bruh

BittenbyQueen -Has Gone Offline-

Clifford: this is disturbingly wholesome

Clifford: my brain cannot comprehend these guys having a domestic household

CORE Frisk: well that’s what this chat is supposed to be about

CORE Frisk: it’s supposed to help destigmatise and learn about each other :D

Crossant: yeah

Crossant: like how I’ve learned that the Stars have committed murder apparently

Epic: it be like that sometimes 

Crossant: no??

Cantable: Killer is here hurry up if you two want anything before he eats it all

Cantable: And don’t forget the money

Crossant: AYE AYE CAPTAIN

Crossant -Has Gone Offline-

Epic -Has Gone Offline-

Cantable -Has Gone Offline-

Boat: Ink

Boat: you and I still have to go over the last quarter of today’s meeting 

Ink: what

Ink: wait why me??

Ink: why not blue as well??

Manualcorrect: I’ve already told you I have plans today

Manualcorrect: I’m having lunch with a friend remember

Ink: totally

Ink: that is definitely a conversation I can recall 

Boat: Ink

Boat: hurry up

Boat: have fun with your friend Blue

Manualcorrect: thanks :D

Manualcorrect: good luck with Ink

Boat: I’ll need it

Boat -Has Gone Offline-

Ink: HEY

ink: ):<

Ink: im a fucking delight

Ink -Has Gone Offline-

Clifford: well

Clifford: with all the respectable people I can actually stand to be around gone

Clifford: I may as well dip too

sans.: [sans will remember that]

Clifford: har har

Clifford -Has Gone Offline-

sans.: filling his bed with mayo

sans.: also you lost your chance to say goodbye

sans. -Has Gone Offline-

Science: OH COME ON

Science: BYE GUYS

Science -Has Gone Offline-

Error: damn

Error: I was hoping I could kick him before he got to say goodbye 

Manualcorrect: there’s always next time??

CORE Frisk -Has Gone Offline-

Manualcorrect: oh they’re gone too

Manualcorrect: guess it’s just us

Error: well do you have everything ready??

Manualcorrect: yup, just finished packing :)

Error: cool

Error: I’ll be there to pick you up in 2 minutes

Manualcorrect: cool!!

Manualcorrect: see you soon

Manualcorrect -Has Gone Offline-

Chapter Text

The kitchen was warm. That was one of the most well understood things about it, it smelled heavenly and, in the vastness of the castle's frigid stone walls, the kitchen always seemed to be warm.

Horror had his jacket draped across the kitchen bench for this very reason, the heat of the stove overbearing as he let the meat simmer. 

It was Killer’s turn to choose the meal, having won the trio’s latest bet amongst themselves during their last mission. He’d chosen something relatively easy, for once, leaving Horror with the surprisingly relaxing task of cooking Beef

Stroganoff. Tarnished only by the fact that not having a chance to stop by Farmtale that week had left them without access to potatoes. He’d had to resort to improvising the recipe and using egg noodles instead.

Glancing at his phone, the screen cracked and half the casing missing, Horror found himself glad for the distraction that cooking was. He’d noticed his phone going off more than usual over the past week or so but had chalked it up to Killer being in one of his ‘moods’ again.

Finding himself in a group chat with the people he’d been actively at war with over the past few decades was not what he’d been expecting. Not that he wasn’t intrigued, discovering information about his adversaries and what made them tick seemed like an interesting passion project he could pick up, but talking with people was always a little daunting.

Plating the stroganoff Horror became aware of a gaze on the back of his skull, the feeling like creeping mould settling in his chest and ice pricking along his arms.

Turning, Horror found himself locking eyes with Nightmare, the guardian raising a bemused brow at the cook.

“I know you cannot be that perturbed by our lack of groceries.”

It was a statement just as much as it was a question, shifting on his current seat as oily slick tentacles tasted the air lackadaisically.

Horror huffed, tugging the flour smeared apron off as he moved to gather up cutlery and plates, setting them about the dining table, pondering over his words with each soft clink of a plate.

“I… was not prepared to hear how other AUs viewed me and my own Timeline.” He stepped over a coiling tentacle with practiced ease.

He’d never been one for expressing his emotions, often packing them away into neat little boxes to be sorted through at a later time, by himself. Some ill begotten survival instinct he picked up during the seven years he spent before meeting Nightmare he hadn’t quite managed to shake. 

But the empath had an incessant way of digging into the cracks of one’s mask, drawing out emotions and desires whether you want them to or not, so it was often easier to just tell him what was bothering you and move on.

Nightmare waited for the soft clink of cutlery to humm, eyelight trailing after Horror,

“Unfortunately, I must admit, you don’t happen to be the only one soured by this turn of events. The situation is not one I foresaw happening at the very least.”

It was Horrors turn to raise a brow in question, rare to ever hear Nightmare admit his own discomfort, though not entirely unheard of.

Any further chance for conversation was ruined by the screeching of sneakers on the wooden floors, Killers shoes leaving dark scuff marks in his wake as the taller skeleton stumbled into the Dinning Room.

“HE FUCKING KICKED ME!”

Weaving around Killer as he set out the last of the cutlery, Horror noted Dust entering the room behind him.

“I MEAN THE AUDACITY! Who does he think he is?!”

“Wash your hands before sitting at the table.”

He gently shoved Killer to the sink as the other continued on his tangent, loud ranting clearly causing annoyance to simmer slightly in Nightmare stiff posture, piercing teal eyelight narrows in the direction of the two.

Dust glanced up from where he was drying his own hands, hood pushed down enough to convey his exasperation, opening his mouth to snap,

“Killer I don’t think complaining about getting muted for flirting with Nightmares brother is as helpful as you believe it is.”

The incline of his head to their Boss’ position at the table was enough to silence Killer for long enough to wash his hands, a heavy awkwardness choking the air around him.

Dust shuffled over to the table, taking his usual seat facing away from the window as to avoid the glaring sunlight. “At least it smells good, whatever you’ve ended up cooking, Horror. Though I don’t find myself having much faith in ‘someone’s meal choices.”

“Well fuck you too, asshole.”

Horror smiled, picking up various plates and setting them around the table.

“Beef Stroganoff, we’re out of potatoes though so we’re stuck with egg noodles.” 

“Yooo! Did I hear stroganov bruh?!”

“Smells delicious dude.”

Cross made his appearance at the doorway known with a bright grin, Epic beaming next to him, leaning on the ex-Guard’s shoulder for the briefest of moments before shuffling over to wash his own hands, purple jacket swaying with his gait.

Moving forward Cross pealed off his heavy outer hoodie, resting it over the back of his seat as he surveyed the food.

“Looks good too, remind me to get that recipe from you later.”

The wood of a chair scraped sharply against the cobblestone underfoot, killer sliding into place between Dust and Nightmare. The table in front stained in ink like splotches, years of dripping hate having soaked deep into the wood.

Finally washing his own hands, Horror made the way over to his own seat, opposite Nightmare’s appraising gaze.

The kitchen settled into a content silence, the quiet scraping of cutlery the only sound to echo through the small room.

It wasn’t unusual, often after particularly extenuating missions, usually supply runs turned sour, the group found themselves enjoying the other’s company in complete silence, though Horror gave it three more minutes before Killer started kicking Dust under the table.

A disgruntled sigh broke the reprieve, Nightmare setting his cutlery down with an almost defeated huff, regret stiffening his shoulders as he surveyed the group before him. Horror tilted his head, watching as Nightmare brought a hand to his nasal ridge, questioning words he had yet to say.

“Fine, you can keep using the group communications with my brother and his affiliates. Do Not,” Killer flinched under the sudden heated gaze, “ make me come to regret this decision. It has come to my attention that there seems to be a slight, miscommunication between universes. Perhaps we can use this as an opportunity to better understand and counter our adversaries.”

The slight glance towards Horror was missed by most, but the cool nodded in appreciation at the decision. While not the most invested, in either the chat or the Stars, Horror held claim to a somewhat friendly relationship with Swap. The two skeletons having been abandoned, left behind in an AU together a few years back in the midst of a fight. They had come to a temporary truce as they worked together to find their way out by themselves, at least until Error happened over the two. The truce had never technically been ended and, despite himself, Horror couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t excited to talk with the energetic Sans again.

“Now.” The flint-like tone cut through the air, dread seeping into the stone floors as Nightmare continues. “This will not be used as an excuse to slack off. You do not use it to reveal vital information about our missions or inner workings, if I find any of our intel has been leaked I will discover the perpetrators, I believe none of you need a demonstration of what fate shall befall you when I catch you.”

The speech was threatening, Nightmare’s voice low and sharp as he let his finger grace along the blade of the knife, still sitting pretty by the plate. The speech may have been even more effective were it not for Epic, happily making peace-sign bunny ears behind Nightmare’s head the entire time.

Smiling into his fork Horror fund himself finishing his plate, ignoring the hiss of pain as Killer's legs kicked out in what was most likely his form of reserved excitement.

“Hell yeah! Gonna spam the chat with so many memes!”

A dull smack resonated behind Horror as he pushed himself up from the table, collecting Dust’s empty plate as he passed, Killer rubbing the back of his skull with a whine, scuffed from Nightmares frustrated slap.

—-

12:12pm

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: FREEDOM!!

DanceFloor: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME

DanceFloor: YOUR WRING

Manualcorrect -Has Come Online-

Manualcorrect: You’re*

Manualcorrect: have you been waiting by your phone for the whole 24 hrs??

DanceFloor: the chat was callings me

DanceFloor: my beloved

Cantable -Has Come Online-

Cantable: he’s actually been set to do most  chores around the castle

Cantable: punishment for stabbing Dust during supper

DanceFloor: the bicj made fun of me

DanceFloor: he had it coming

Manualcorrect: remind me to never have a meal with you lot

Manualcorrect: I thought Error’s table manners were atrocious 

Manualcorrect: no offense err

Outer -Has Come Online-

Outer: oh stars

Outer: has it been twenty four hours already??

Outer: I’ll miss the peace and quiet

DanceFloor: ewwwww y did u spell 24

DanceFloor: sycopath behaviour 

Manualcorrect: psychopath*

Manualcorrect:  and I don’t see how psychopathy and spelling 24 correlates 

Cantable: especially seeing as most of Nightmares affiliates

Cantable: you included

DanceFloor: ooh big words ~fancy~

Cantable: could probably qualify for the diagnosis of psychopathy 

Cantable: sociopathy at the very least

DanceFloor: way to bring the mood down asshat

BittenbyQueen -Has Come Online-

Manualcorrect: hey Dust

BittenbyQueen: it hasn’t even been 10 minutes 

BittenbyQueen: how have you already picked a fight Killer

BittenbyQueen: hello Swap

DanceFloor: I have done nothing worng 

Outer: worng

DanceFloor: D:

DanceFloor: D:<

DanceFloor -Changed Outer’s name to MajorTom-

DanceFloor: not so funny now wise guy

MajorTom: are all these names gonna be music based??

DanceFloor: oh yeah 

DanceFloor: that remind me

DanceFloor -Changed Cantable’s name to FeedmeSeymour-

BittenbyQueen: you have the most eclectic music taste I’ve ever seen

BittenbyQueen: wtf

DanceFloor: I grew up listening to Nightcore and Gacha life animations UwU

FeedmeSeymour: no tf you did not.

DanceFloor: so much gacha life

DanceFloor: there were ones of us

DanceFloor: gacha heat

Error: I will remove you from this chat permanently 

MajorTom: huh wait

MajorTom: cross was right

MajorTom: where did you come from Error??

Error: fuck if I know

MajorTom: fair enough

Clifford -Has Come Online-

Clifford: how much money will it cost to kick him permanently 

Clifford: please

DanceFloor: more money than you have

DanceFloor: I’m priceless ;)

Error: how much pocket lint you got?

DanceFloor: I’m revosyed 

DanceFloor: digsusted 

DanceFloor: i dedicate my entire life to the grind

DanceFloor: and THIS is the thanks I get?

BittenbyQueen: would an old ketchup packet do?

Error: yeah good enough 

Manualcorrect: Error.

DanceFloor: this is bullying ):

FeedmeSeymour: you were the one upset you got muted

FeedmeSeymour: you can always leave if you don’t like it

DanceFloor: even u rorry D:

DanceFloor: you want to get rid of me to??

FeedmeSeymour: .

FeedmeSeymour: too*

BittenbyQueen: HOLY SHIT

BittenbyQueen: LMAO

DanceFloor: wtf

BittenbyQueen: i cant rucking breatjj 

Manualcorrect: Horror I love you

Manualcorrect: /p

Clifford: how r these the guys we’ve been fighting??

MajorTom: I mean

MajorTom: at the end of the day we’re all Sanses 

MajorTom: so it would make sense we’re all 

MajorTom: how to put it uhhh

Manualcorrect: an affront to society?

MajorTom: ‘quirky’

Clifford: idk if you’ve ever met Classic but he is not like this

Error: oh you have no idea

Clifford: wtf does that mean creep

Manualcorrect: Err what have I said about spying on AUs

Error: idk I wasn’t paying attention 

Error: I do what I want

Clifford: great now I’m not gonna be able to sleep without feeling watched

Error: you’re boring when you sleep why tf would I watch that

Error: the multiverse doesn’t center around you 13

Error: unbelievable 

Clifford: that’s it

Clifford: throwing myself into the core

Clifford: I hate you all

MajorTom: ohh bring back a souvenir 

Clifford: no.

Clifford -Has Gone Offline-

Manualcorrect: well then

Manualcorrect: I’ll message Classic to go check on him

Manualcorrect: oh!

Manualcorrect: I’ll make him my special ’feel better’ tacos

MajorTom: r those the ones with glitter in them orrrr??

FeedmeSeymour: the ones with what in them.

Manualcorrect: nonono

Manualcorrect: I make those ones for Ink only

Manualcorrect: I’m having a bet with Dream to see how long he takes to notice the glitter

Error: I’ve seen that idiot drink craft glue like water

Error: he will not notice

Manualcorrect: maybe I should add googly eyes next?

FeedmeSeymour -Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: Rorry is staring out the kitchen window

DanceFloor: I think he’s crying

Manualcorrect: to be fair I don’t blame him

DanceFloor: congrats on making it to Horrors murder list

DanceFloor: your days are numbered 

BittenbyQueen: I’ll go get him

BittenbyQueen: Killer u haven’t finished cleaning the dishes wtf

BittenbyQueen: you were told to do this an hour ago

DanceFloor: I’m a free man now

DanceFloor: housework can’t contain me

BittenbyQueen: change of plans

BittenbyQueen: I’m off to find Nightmare 

BittenbyQueen -Has Gone Offline-

DanceFloor: NO WAIT

DanceFloor: FUC

DanceFloor -Has Gone Offline-

Manualcorrect: oh to be a fly on the wall when Nightmare finds Killer

Error: Outer 

Error: you know the place

MajorTom: ??

Error: 15 minutes 

MajorTom: OHHH

MajorTom: cool

MajorTom: see you two soon

MajorTom -Has Gone Offline-

Manualcorrect: I’m confused?

Error: ‘to be a fly on the wall’

Error: you literally got mad about me spying earlier 

Error: hypocrisy 

Error: get snacks I’ll be there in 10

Manualcorrect: watching my mortal enemy reprimand my mortal enemy while sitting next to my other mortal enemy and my coworker

Manualcorrect: stunning

Manualcorrect -Has Gone Offline-

Chapter Text

4:47pm

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: -Sent An Image-

DanceFloor: NO FUCKING WAY

DanceFloor: IT WORKED

DanceFloor: and they said it coldnt be done

Boat -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: I’m a genous

Boat: well that’s certainly 

Boat: not what I was expecting 

DanceFloor: handsome isn’t it

Boat: it

Boat: certainly catches your likeness 

Manualcorrect -Has Come Online-

Crossant -Has Come Online-

Crossant: killer is giggling that’s never a good sign

DanceFloor: -Sent an Image-

DanceFloor: AND HE STRIKES AGAIN

DanceFloor: THE CROWD GOES WILDDD

Manualcorrect: oh fuck

Crossant: HEY??!

Crossant: WHEN TF DID YOU TAKE THAT??

DanceFloor: uhg ur no fun

DanceFloor: lasrt knight wen u fell asleep after I rocked ur sjit in Mariocart

Manualcorrect: new contender for most misspellings in one sentence

Manualcorrect: ALSO MY STARS THE ONESIES

Boat: for some reason I never considered that you’d play video games together 

DanceFloor: just caus u dont have a life outside work doesn’t mean WE dont

Error: you don’t.

DanceFloor: D:< WTF??

DanceFloor: ur supposed to be on OUR team??

Error: that sounds like a you problem 

Crossant: hot damn

Science -Has Come Online-

Science: I see you’ve found the image feature

Science: I’d hoped it take longer

Boat: not to sound ungrateful 

Boat: especially with all the work you’ve put into this

Boat: but

Error: why in the ever living fuck did you add an imaging system 

Manualcorrect: horrible decision on your part

Science: well most Group chats have that ability

Science: besides, I thought  it could be used for

Science: ☆〜（ゝ。∂）the greater good!!

Science: and definitely not because I wanted to flex my coding skills

Error: if I end up seeing dick pics from Killer in this chat-

Crossant: we have dicks??

Error: have you seen the state of this fandom??

Error: degenerates 

DanceFloor: ‘this chat’

DanceFloor: the loopholes continue 

Boat: oh wow okay! New topic!!

Boat: how has everyone’s day been?

Science: Stunning!!

Science: I’ve been experimenting the effects of Schrodinger’s Paradox on closed time loops across different AUs an an effort to find and quarantine the catalyst in the creation of Alternate Universes verse Alternate Timelines

Boat: I 

Boat: that’s good?

Science: indeed! It’s been quite informative, I’ve even been considering using some of Nightmares Proxies as future test subjects 

DanceFloor: haha sucks to be them

Crossant: THATS US KILLER HES TALKING ABOUT US

Crossant: WE’RE NM’S PROXIES

DanceFloor: I prefer the term bisexual

Manualcorrect: I’m still confused what this ‘experiment’ even is

Manualcorrect: Paps has always been the science guy, not me

Error: he’s trying to figure out the difference between an AU like you and an Alternate Timeline like Killer

Error: which is stupid because there is no difference 

Error: they all need to be eradicated 

DanceFloor: ☝️🤓

DanceFloor: holy shit they’re are emojis too

Manualcorrect: there*

DanceFloor: dont care

DanceFloor: + didnt ask

DanceFloor: + I put a bom in ur house

Manualcorrect: …

Dance -Has Come Online-

Manualcorrect: bomb*

Dance: I seem to have arrived at an awkward point

DanceFloor: my name twin :D!!

Dance: okay- first

Dance: I had the name Dance first, you literally stole that

Dance: secondly 

Crossant: aren’t we all called Sans anyway??

Dance: aren’t we already all called sans?

Dance: ha, clown to clown communication cross

Boat: uhmn, about that

Error: think the fuck again.

Dance: you dont count you’re basically gods

Dance: let us Sans club members live in peace 

Boat: I wouldn’t call myself a god…

Error: I would

Error: I’m awesome

DanceFloor: isn’t reaper a god?? He goes by sans to dont he?

Manualcorrect: too*

Boat: you’re fighting an uphill battle here Blue

DanceFloor: like sissypiss 

Manualcorrect: honestly I’m more surprised you even know about Sisyphus than anything 

DanceFloor: he’s a caracter in a game cross nd epic keep playing

DanceFloor: they scream about it at 2am and dust gets angry it’s vry funny

Crossant: gonna P rank him one day

DanceFloor: Dust or piss guy??

Crossant: piss guy r u fucking kidding me dust has like a gazillion HP I would die so fast

DanceFloor: coward behaviour 

DanceFloor -Changed Dance’s name to X2revolution-

X2revolution: no - my one character trait-

X2revolution: gone, too soon 

X2revolution: oh wait

—-

Dance grinned down at the screen. He wasn’t by any means a stranger to group chats, he perused many of the smaller ones, with three or so members, on a daily basis, but it was practically unheard of to be in one this big let alone with some of the most influential people in the Multiverse.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew he was less popular in the grand scheme of things, once people got over the whole ‘I’ve never seen a Sans be that active’ thing, they found him pretty boring to hang around.

He suspected it was his friendship with both the Stars, Core Frisk and Sci that scored him a place in the chat, but he knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth, no matter what the tight curling of imposter syndrome told him.

“What’cha smilin at there D?”

Snapping his attention back up he let the world flow in around him, soft music playing throughout the cafe as cats wound their way between his legs. Lust had one cheek resting on his hand, swirling the straw to his chocolate shake with the other.

It seemed whatever conversation he and Red had been complaining over had finally drawn to an end, both skeletons' attention now on him.

“Oh, uhh, this is the groupchat Red and I mentioned last time.”

The three of them had been having weekly meetups for a while now, originally just Lust and Dance after they had bumped into each other on a nightclub dancefloor a few months back. Eventually Red joined them when Lust brought him along one time after the edge lord punched some no-name asshole for making unsolicited comments during a council meeting.

Lust had recently been using the meetups as an excuse to get gossip about the other AUs in the chat.

“Hmnph, still can’t believe I wasn’t invited, I swear when I get my hands on that Scientist-“

“What happened in th’ chat now?” Red cut off the others' angry rant before it could truly kick off, “my phone died on the way here so I haven’t been able ta’ check, ‘nthing I gotta sort out?”

“Nono!” Waving his hands in placation Dance set the phone down, “Killer’s just finally gotten around to my nickname, pretty sure it’s a Dance Dance Revolution reference.”

“Awee that’s cute, Oh Oh!” Slapping his hands against the table excitedly Lust lent forward, “We definitely need to play that together, invite Swap too, I bet baby Blue’s got some moves he’s been saving.”

Fell made a quiet groan, eyelights flicking back and forth between the two, clearly dreading another danced based ramble the two inundated him with, shoving the last of his muffin into his mouth he huffed, crossing his arms.

“I don’t get you guys ‘nd your need fer flashy moves.”

“Guh- Flashy moves? Sorry Mr ‘Gasterblaster’s solve every problem’” Lust threw his hands up good naturedly, elbowing Fell with a grin, Dance let out his of snort,

“If I don’t do flashy moves I will literally explode.” 

“It’s true Cherry, I’ve seen him do it, two out of ten, wouldn’t recommend.” The lilac clad skeleton shook his head softly, playing into the joke as Dance felt a mock scoff bubble up his throat, “Only two?? I think it deserves at least a seven.’

“It would have if I didn’t have to dry clean my jacket, exploded Dance bits are such a hassle to wash out.”

“Ladies, Ladies, you’re both hot, calm down.” Fell barely dodged the heel Lust made an attack with, smile broad as all three burst into laughter.

Letting the chuckles die down, Dance stretched in his seat, foot tapping in time with the music, now a different song, still playing cheerily over the cafe speakers. His phone buzzed softly on the table, at a quick glance he’d missed twenty or so messages from the chat.

“Oh! Right, Killer also discovered a photo feature.”

“Oh fer fucks- Stars save us all.”

“PHOTOS? Oh I have got to see this!”

—-

Science: and that is why everyone hates sigmund freud

Manualcorrect: rightly so from the sounds of it

X2revolution: -Sent an Image-

X2revolution: Fell and Lust say hi

X2revolution: Red’s phone is dead btw

Manualcorrect: I had been wondering why he didn’t respond to my messages 

Manualcorrect: tell them both I say hello back!!

Boat: that looks like Ccino’s cafe

X2revolution: yeppers

X2revolution: one of the cats shoved their paw in Reds drink

Boat: I’ve never actually gotten the chance to go to Ccino’s but I’ve heard it’s good (:

Manualcorrect: HOLD UP

Manualcorrect: Dream You’ve never been??! 

Manualcorrect: this is a disaster 

Boat: I’ve been too busy and it really hasn’t been that big a deal

Manualcorrect: NUH UH

Manualcorrect: when are you next free

Manualcorrect: deets immediately 

DanceFloor: oh so HE can say Deets but I can’t use the wrong your’ye

Manualcorrect: die <3<3

DanceFloor: D:<

Boat: Uhmn, I’m pretty sure I’m free for half an hour after the next meeting?

Boat: I was supposed to be heading to Candytale but they’ve had a recent reset so I had to reschedule 

Manualcorrect: not soon enough 

Manualcorrect: 2 days from now you’re gonna be free from 3pm-5pm

Boat: I don’t know

Manualcorrect: too bad, didn’t ask

Manualcorrect: Error and I will pick you up

Error: I will??

Manualcorrect: I will tell everyone about your recent craft project 

Error: I will be there to pick up Dream

Manualcorrect: (:

Crossant: I want to switch teams

DanceFloor: u can’t reswitch

DanceFloor: uve already dine it once

Crossant: do u not see how scary Swap is??

Crossant: I do NOT want to be his enemy 

Science: that’s the entire point of this chat lol 

Error: Blue, Dream

Manualcorrect: ??

Boat: oh stars what did he do now?

Error: your idiot is here

Error: come collect him

Boat: how did I know

Boat: I’m on my way

Manualcorrect: how did he escape the tape taco prison??

Crossant: the tape what??

Manualcorrect: Tape Taco Prison

Manualcorrect: wrap him up in blankets like a taco, tape that closed so he can’t slip out and leave him in front of the TV with cocomelon playing

Crossant: isn’t he your teammate??

Boat: you’ve met Ink

Crossant: touché 

Error: HE THREW UP INK ON ME GET HIM NOW

Manualcorrect: on our way!!

Boat -Has Gone Offline-

Manualcorrect -Has Gone Offline-

X2revolution: I’m never going to understand how the relationship between you all works

DanceFloor: we’re all secretly enemies with benefits 

Crossant: we are not

DanceFloor: cross is really good at the secret keeping part 

Crossant: THERE ARE NO BENEFITS 

Crossant: WERE JUST ENEMIES 

Science: suspicious 

Crossant: ITS NOT

X2revolution: oh shoot I forgot to ask Swap about the DDR thing

X2revolution: oh I gtg btw

X2revolution: my turn to foot the bill ):

DanceFloor: awweee

DanceFloor: by buy name buddy

X2revolution: bye name thief

X2revolution -Has Gone Offline-

Science: then there were three

Science: have I ever told you about the Dolphin Bell Diving incident??

Science: it’s fascinating what happens to the human body when one goes from 1atm to 9atm in under a second

Crossant: that sounds horrific no than you

Crossant: sounds like something that’s gonna make me grateful skeletons don’t have organs

Science: well…

Crossant: NO NO

Crossant: THERE IS A CHILD IN THIS CHAT

Crossant: we do NOT need some traumatising event to scar them

Crossant: OR ME

DanceFloor: ):

DanceFloor: I wanna hear about it

Science: I suppose I could DM it to you

DanceFloor: :D!!

DanceFloor -Has Gone Offline-

Crossant: aren’t you a theoretical physicist or something 

Science: technically it is physics 

Crossant: nope no don’t wanna know

Crossant: I’m going to bed

Science: it’s only 6pm?

Crossant: as Classic would say: perfect

Crossant -Has Gone Offline-

Science: Rude ):<

Science -Has Gone Offline-

Chapter Text

2:37am

DanceFloor -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: it feel slike we havent spoken since last year ):

DanceFloor: nothing interesting hapens here

X2revolution -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: I miss u giys 

Manualcorrect -Has Come Online-

DanceFloor: OH MY STARS HI GUYSSS <3<3

Manualcorrect: it’s only been 8 hours??

Manualcorrect: why are you even awake at 2am?

DanceFloor: wouldnt u like to know whether boy

Manualcorrect: Weather*

Manualcorrect: and you’re right, I don’t actually care

DanceFloor: RUDE ):<

DanceFloor: r u hereing this shit dance??

X2revolution: how did you spell revolution correctly but not hear??

DanceFloor: I hope u dye

DanceFloor: im gr8 at spelling

DanceFloor: the rest of the multiverse is wrong

Manualcorrect: I am 87% sure he’s putting it on for show

Manualcorrect: there is no feasible way someone is actually THAT bad at spelling 

DanceFloor: I’m dyslexic UwU

Manualcorrect: No you’re not??

DanceFloor: youve never met me I could be

Manualcorrect: You punched me in the face two weeks ago

Manualcorrect: we’ve met.

Manualcorrect: and you’ve BEEN TESTED

Manualcorrect: you were quite literally bragging about being “medically diagnosed as better at writing than Dream” during a fight just a few months ago

DanceFloor: WELL I AM

X2revolution: I for one am also bad at spelling (,:

X2revolution: but that’s because ADHD demands words NOW and spelling later

X2revolution: Autocorrect my beloved >>>

DanceFloor: nvm I don’t miss u guys

DanceFloor:  not fun if u gang up on me ):<

Manualcorrect: Then leave.

DanceFloor: I swear ur supposed to be the nice one

X2revolution: HA

X2revolution: LMAOOO 

X2revolution: Swap, Nice

X2revolution: that’s funny

Manualcorrect: what??

Manualcorrect: I am nice??

X2revolution: nah, you’re lovely /gen

X2revolution: but not a single person that has sat through more than 3 minutes of council meetings would call you the ‘nice one’

X2revolution: that title goes to Fell lmao

Error: thanks for that delightful bit of information 

Manualcorrect: WELL NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO WRANGLE INK!!

Manualcorrect: I do what I have to do we can actually get through a meeting for once

Manualcorrect: I’m nice to those that have earned it

DanceFloor: everything I here abut these meetings just makes me want to join more

DanceFloor: ERROR!!

DanceFloor: my pookiebear 🥺👉👈

Error: kys 

DanceFloor: can u sneak me into a meeting 

DanceFloor: HEY

DanceFloor: cyber bullying 

DanceFloor: arrest this man immediately 

X2revolution: I fear that bullying you may not be the most illegal thing Error has done

X2revolution: just a hunch

Manualcorrect: no one is getting arrested and no one is sneaking into the council meetings 

DanceFloor: BOO):<

X2revolution: You never did answer what you’re doing up so early btw??

DanceFloor: OH

DanceFloor: hiding Cross’ left shoes

DanceFloor: all of them

X2revolution: do I dare to ask why??

DanceFloor: he wouldn’t admit that we were passionate lovers

DanceFloor: I’m making him see the errors in his ways

DanceFloor: oh my gosh error that’s like ur name (:

Manualcorrect: that’s what most people call a Parasocial relationship 

Error: never talk to me again

DanceFloor: like MCYT fans

X2revolution: or K-pop 

DanceFloor: tiu epild lnow 

X2revolution: did not understand any of that last message

X2revolution: N E WAYS

X2revolution: Swap?? Error?? What’s got you two up??

Manualcorrect: Warm up practice for a training sesh with Alph later

Manualcorrect: I accidentally injured her last session so I’m wearing myself out early

Manualcorrect: sucks but it is what it is

Error: I don’t sleep

Manualcorrect: Ignore him, he does

Manualcorrect: knowing him it’s an Undernovella binge again

Error: it was a rerun of Asgoro’s mafia infiltration arc

Error: you literally cannot blame me

X2revolution: I keep forgetting you two are friends

X2revolution: it’s always so weird

DanceFloor: Error doesn’t have friends he’s got people he tolerates 

Error: I have 3 friends actually

DanceFloor: I refuse to belive that

Manualcorrect: Why are you up Dance??

X2revolution: I was on a trip to the kitchen to grab water when my phone started buzzing

X2revolution: this chat is so insane I knew I couldn’t miss anything 

X2revolution: I am sitting on the floor in the dark

X2revolution -Sent an Image-

X2revolution: Papyrus is going to fall over me at some point

X2revolution: I know it

Manualcorrect: of all the answers that’s genuinely not one I expected 

Crossant -Has Come Online- 

X2revolution: I actually slipped on a puddle of water and cannot be bothered to get up

Crossant: KILLER.

Crossant: YOU.

DanceFloor: I’ve never met that man in my life

Crossant: MY FUCKING SHOES??!

DanceFloor: what are shoes

Crossant: the thing I’m about to shove down your throat 

DanceFloor: Kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Error -Has Muted DanceFloor for 4 Hours-

Error: whoops

Error: my finger slipped

X2revolution: another soul gone too soon😔🙏🙏

—-

The phone clicked sharply as Cross set it down on his nightstand, carelessly. Leaning back against the pillow he huffed, palms pressed into eye sockets with a groan.

The room was dark, lit only by the occasional notification, from the group chat most likely, flashing upon his screen before dimming once more. The shadows swirled around the room, small shapes and phosphenes dancing before his vision as his attention slid to his shoes. Shoe.

With a strangled sigh the guard pushed himself off the mattress, gaze flittering across the floor as if searching for the items of clothing he knew would not be there. His lone right shoe stared back at him judgmentally. Shoving off the bed, the guard shook his half asleep limbs awake, grimacing at the tingle sparking along his fingertips. There was no point checking his closet for any other pairs of footwear, the door slightly ajar, betraying that Killer had most definitely broken into his room with the guard noticing. Unfortunately Killer was surprisingly efficient when he wanted to be.

A shifting form alerted the sentry to Epic, his purple clad friend sprawled out awkwardly on Cross’ small couch. Despite the soft snoring, filtering through the room, Cross would bet real money that his friend had a hand in assisting Killer’s plan. He was a  light sleeper, so light that would have noticed Killer's presence long before the other had even reached the door.

Huffing, Cross slipped out of his bedroom, closing the door softly behind him, socks thin enough to let the cobbled floor’s chill seep through as he made his way down the winding corridor.

Killers’ own door was left flung open, the darkened gaping of his empty bedroom leaving Cross unsettled as the guard brushed past, already knowing where he would find Nightmare’s second in command.

Killers grin was taught, the eerie glow from his phone glinting off his teeth, tinged a sickly pink as the light seeped into the red of his soul. Admits the inky darkness of the lounge room Killers form could just be made out, lazing comfortably across the largest of the couches, just beyond the watery moonlight seeping in from the kitchen. The smile sharpened as he met Cross’ gaze, eye sockets widening ever so silently. 

“Ah, Cross! I was wondering when you would get here! They muted me again, can you believe that?”

Cross’ frown sharpened as the other shifted, dangling his phone from pinched fingers in a careless lilt, voice pitching an octave to match his blasé attitude. It was almost a puzzle, of sorts, seeing how Cross would react, Killer was testing the guard. Would Cross play along with his game or would Killer be safer by planning exit routes.

“Killer. ” 

“Mm, a shame, I was hoping you’d be more sympathetic to my struggles, how heartless.”

Cross felt this posture stiffen as the other threw himself back across the couch in a mock feint.

Throughout his years at the castle, Killer had been the hardest for Cross to read, to understand. 

Yes, by all means the others had still been difficult at first, intimidating and, in all honesty, not quite there. Cross wasn’t quite sure yet what deity he had to thank that neither Dust or Horror had reacted vindictively aloof to his presence, but when he finds out he’s going to ask why it also decided to skip over Killer in that so called ‘grace’. 

Dust had merely brushed him off or outright threatened him, behaviour the guard was well equipped to deal with. Horror would watch and study him, as if picking him apart piece by piece, while disturbing, Cross could ignore it. But Killer,

“My shoes.”

“What about them?”

Killer was acutely obtuse in the most oxymoronic way possible. His passive aggressive remarks and childish behaviour frustrated him beyond belief. 

Somehow Cross had found himself winding up as the elder Sans’ plaything and he was sick of it.

It was rare, but in the dark, one could catch a glimpse of Killers eyelights, dimmed and blurred around the edges, but present enough that Cross could see them sharpen as the sentry stormed across the room, fist finding purchase in the cloth of Killers shirt, dragging him from the couch.

“Killer. I’m too fucking tired for this. Just tell me where they are so I can go back to bed.”

The other's body heat was warm against his grip, breath, accented with the smell of blood and tar, mingled with his own as Killer huffed out a strained laugh. 

“Didn’t take you for being so forward, at least take me to dinner fir-“

Thick ink dripped onto his hands as the guard shook Killer sharply,

“THAT! Just Stop! What enjoyment are you getting out of this?” 

The two had always been the same height, maybe only a few millimeters in difference, but now, Cross felt bigger than the Sans in front of him, Killer's grin turning crooked as his sockets furrowed in confusion.

“You have been deliberately trying to tick me off ever since this stupid chat started, you don’t know how to shut up do you?! I get that you hate me but could you not fuck with my stuff for five damn minutes?!”

At some point Killer had begun trying to pry himself out of Cross’ hold.

“What the hell did I do? Huh? Why am I your target? ANSWER ME DAMN IT.”

“You’re so self centred.”

The sharp whisper was like a slap across the guard's face.

“What?”

“If you haven’t noticed Mr ‘I’m the center of the multiverse’, I’ve been picking on everyone, that’s what I do, my personal brand if you will.” With a sharp jab to Cross’ chest Killer pushed the other back. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I don’t hate you, I CAN’T hate you, or anyone for that matter. Lack of emotions is a pretty integral point in my existence.”

Brushing himself off, Killer scooped up his phone from where it tumbled to the floor during the small scuffle, assessing the screen for cracks as he spoke.

“CORE Frisk wants this ‘bonding chat’ to work, and for that people need to actually use it. I don’t know how much you’ve been paying attention, but so far I’ve been the only one starting conversations, and,” he paused, eyelights glancing over Cross briefly as he slipped his phone into a pocket, “I feel you don’t need me to tell you that causing trouble will always be an effective way of getting the ball rolling.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. You’re saying that you are being an ass to make friends?” Cross shifted slightly, self consciousness creeping up on him for his explosion of emotions. Killer huffed another laugh, hands on his hips, tone suddenly brightening.

“No stupid, that’s dumb, I’m breaking the ice, if everyone has someone to collectively hate together then they’re doing things together, the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that jazz. It’s simple maths. I’m not going to be hurt by any negative thoughts about me, so I make the perfect scapegoat. And it’s worked, mind you.’ The other fell into a swooning sigh, grin almost giddy, “Besides, I want to see how long it takes Blue to remember I have a PHD in Theoretical Physics and am a stunning speller.”

The groan echoed across the cobbled floor as Cross found himself lowering into the couch, head in his hands.

“I feel so stupid, I came down here guns blazing to pick a fight with a moron. Ugh, I’m such an idiot.” The cough shifted slightly, Killer plonking himself besides the other like his shirt wasn’t still crumpled where Cross had gripped it.

“Yeahp, you’re an idiot.

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Wanna know what I think?” The moonlit air was stale as the two existed in the silence for a moment, still and empty.

“I think you’re stressed, well, more so than usual.”

“Oh really. What gave you that impression.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that Cross? Let me finish.”

The glare was sharp but Cross held his tongue.

“You’re stressed about the Group Chat, one of the reasons you’re rarely online, and that heightened stress is leading you to believe everything is some kind of personal attack. You’re a people pleaser, UHP UHP UHP Don’t deny it!” Cross flinched back at the hand suddenly flapping in his face, raising a browbone at Killer in exasperation.

“You’re a people pleaser, and you’ve suddenly been thrust into a conversation with your old team, people you,” a flick to the forehead, “somehow got into your thick skull that you disappointed, failed.

The words stung, it wasn’t as if Cross wasn’t aware he was pathetic for ditching the Stars, but having someone point it out was worse than he expected.

“And on top of that, your current team is in the same chat, meaning you’re scared we’re going to see how much of a ‘failure’ you are. You’re putting all this pressure on yourself and lashing out because you think it’s safer than being seen as weak.”

“For someone that doesn’t have emotions you seem pretty adept at understanding them.”

“People seem to forget I had a good few decades as a Classic Sans before I lost my emotions, besides, you live with Dust long enough and you’ll discover emotions you didn’t know existed, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!” Killer lent forward, the usually quiet hum of his soul echoing in the silence.

“You are a failure. So is Dust, and Horror, and Nightmare, so it’s Dream, and Swap, Don’t even get me started on Ink. You’re a failure because that’s normal, everyone fails at something every once in a while, that’s how we learn.”

“Right, but not you?”

Killer paused, smile dipping for only a second, eyelights distant, before springing back up,

“Nah, there are a few things I could have done better… But I’m nowhere near as fucked up as you, at least I don’t sleep in socks like a freak.”

“You’re wearing socks right now!”

“Yeah but I wasn’t sleeping, you’re impossible. Anyways, back to what I was saying.” Killer paused, side eyeing Cross as he picked over words.

“You don’t owe anyone shit. You left the Stars because they didn’t fit your life trajectory, and you may leave us for the same reason m I’m sure you will one day, but that’s just it, it’s your life, no one else’s. If you go through it trying to please everyone you’ll drive yourself insane, even Dream can’t make everyone happy. So, stop moping about, join in the chat more, pick on Dust with me, get Blue to swear at you every now and then, just, have fun. This experiment is for us all to get to know each other better, not for us to know each others masks better.”

“Out of everyone you are the last person I would expect to give helpful advice.”

“AND I WANT IT TO STAY LIKE THAT! If you let it slip I’m actually competent Nightmare is going to give me so many chores so you better keep your mouth zipped, it’s a secret between us two, we’re Chara buddies!”

“We are NOT calling ourselves that.”

Killer snorted as Cross shoved him, quiet chuckles filling the room as the two divulged into giggles.

“Ugh, you’re such a party pooper. Whatever, schooch up, we’re watching funny cat videos till I get unmuted.”

The two settled into soft breathing, pressed up against the arm of the couch together as Killer fished his phone out again. There was still tension, open wounds that would sting for a while onwards, but the biting chill of the night had receded with the warmth of the other, it wasn’t fixed, their relationship wasn’t simple and easy, but it was a start. 

“And Cross?”

“Mhnm?”

“I think, even if I could, I wouldn’t hate you.”

—-

5:57am:

FeedMeSeymour -Has Come Online-

FeedMeSeymour -Sent an Image-

FeedMeSeymour: In the Pantry?

Crossant -Has Come Online-

Crossant: THAT MOTHER FUCKER