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Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 1

I never thought I’d miss solid ground but that’s what six years in a self-inflicted coma did to you. The doctor holding my hand massaged between my knuckles, her eyes lingering a little too long on my manicure. You would think it was the first time she’d seen something like them the way she ogled and examined them. Watching her gently push a thumb into my nail bed, I hiss and yank my hand away.

“Do they pay you to do my nails here? Why are you pushing into my cuticle?” My words slurred some, the thick southern drawl not helping much with the sleepy translation.

“They don’t pay me to be sassed now, I’m making sure your nails are base safe and from the looks of it, they’re not.” The petite woman snapped back, her hand reaching out toward a small table filled with different tools and supplies.

“I’m sure this planet can handle a little acrylic, this set is six years old though. Just be gentle when you take them off, I can’t meet my daddy looking like you now…unless this is how folks just dress these days.” I gently placed my hand in her own, as she began to saw and clip away at my nails.

The woman, seemingly fed up with me continued to work in silence. I preferred the silence anyway, even if it did draw me back to that queasy feeling gnawing at my stomach. If we’d both bickered any longer I might have slapped her unkempt bob off her head.

“So I’m guessing my father won’t be here? I wasn’t expecting the red carpet to be rolled out but you’d expect at least a hi.” Mumbling, I watch her chop off a small acrylic bow that once sat on my pinky.

Her hands were rather rough and dry, something I’d not expected from someone who seemed so petite. If she’d spent some time on her appearance I think she would have been more than pretty enough to be a model back on Earth. Jet black hair framed her round pale face. Her almond brown flicked up toward mine almost instantly.

”Your father is busy, Miss. I’m sure you can understand that.” Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke, gently releasing my hand.

I didn’t know I how felt about this random woman plucking at the thin line that was my father’s presence in my life. I wasn’t a Stringer by blood but I was surely one by temper. Something my mother never found herself quite that fond of. Daddy’s little princess and mommy’s little monster, a little saying my friends would utter whenever I’d not gotten my way. Who could blame them though, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the rotten tree. I didn’t blame my father or mother for how I turned out though, I blamed the RDA. They were the reason my father up and left me with my drunk of a mother. My mother and I got left with a see you later and a heavy bank account to keep us occupied until he came home. If I didn’t know any better I would have said his departure broke her heart but the countless men I’d called dad over the years told me otherwise. Hell, I was surprised she’d even kept me when he left. It made me wonder if our funds were somehow tied to me.

”We have a more urgent matter to attend to anyway.” Her fingers point toward the stasis pod I’d just been in.

”Don’t tell me the check bounced?” I gasp, my hand flying up to cover my mouth in an overly dramatic sense.

”I see you have your father’s sense of humor,” She mumbled, “Your Avatar, is ready for your usage. We just need you to do a few physical tests, your father’s orders of course.”

Her fingers pushed into the ridge of her nose, pushing up glasses that weren’t there. Taking a clear mask from her little hodgepodge of tools, leans over, securing it to my face.

“As stated earlier when you were taken from your stasis pod, the air on Pandora is not habitable for humans. You will need an Exopack to navigate when you are outside. Without it you would die within minutes so please do us all the honor, and try to stay alive. You don’t need it on for now, but this is ” She mocked my tone from earlier, as she helped me secure the back of the exopack into place.

“Do they at least come in a different color? Poop green and decaying grey aren’t my thing.” Joking around, I move my ankle in slow circles, attempting to get the numbing sensation out of my feet.

I felt like a shiny new toy like I’d been reborn in a sluggish but Pandora-ready body. I wondered if I would be able to walk to these tests they wanted, my knees felt like warm Jello.

”And as for my father, I doubt he’d care much about my actual death if that is why you’re worried. It’s more the whole…one kid, no one else can take my empire sorta thing. Kinda like Star Wars! I think.” I said in between twists of my wrists which were now buzzing with life and the feeling of static.

”You haven’t seen Star Wars?” Asked the woman, her hand finding my own to aid me from where I sat.

”That is like, almost two centuries ago. I’m not watching that.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, carefully walking across the cool ground hand in hand.

By the time we’d made it into the testing center, I felt horrid. Like warm fresh dough being tossed through a plethora of different hands. The first few tests were simple, things that got the body going. Walking through fake grass, detecting which glasses held hot water and which held cold. Then it was memory tests, small things I would surely know the answer to.

”Name?”

”Georgia Marie Stringer.”

”Age?”

”Twenty-three.”

“Spouse?”

”None as far as I know.” I said with a happy smile.

Hell even if I had a partner I wonder if I would have cared enough to remember his name. The last guy I dated was pretty bland. He was wealthy, top of his class in some college you had practically bribed to get into, and rather handsome. However, he wanted to same thing most people in our circle wanted. A wife who was tame, docile. A woman who would shove her own ambitious future into the trash to meet his needs, to produce a golden egg for his family's prestigious line of assholes. There weren’t enough dead presidents in the world to make me bend to the will of a man who’d grown up under mommy and daddy’s thumb. Who was I to judge though?

I was pulled from my thoughts by a bright light shining into my eye, my large brown iris displayed on a large screen in front of me. That is when it all began again. More sensory tests, blood tests, and tests for foreign sickness and disease. I felt as if I’d enlisted into some sort of space military more than come for a vacation.

By the time I’d finished the onslaught of tests, I sat before a large gruff-looking fellow. His hair was a frazzled mess. With large eye bags, it was clear he'd been busy. The guard’s eyes fluttered between my own eyes and the neck of the gown I’d been given. If he stared any longer you might have thought I had a pot of gold between my breasts.

“Leonard?” I said, reaching out to touch his name tag. My thumb slid across the glossy fake gold name tag he’d worn.

In a matter of seconds, he was closer, leaning forward like an oh-too-obedient dog on a leash. I’d be a filthy liar if I said getting my way didn’t please me.

”Yes, Georgia?” He said in a near whisper.

”I prefer ma’am. You can understand that right?” I cooed, releasing his nametag.

“Of course ma’am.”

”Now, thank you. You know that little ship that just so happened to land here? I just took a billion-dollar nap and now while yes, you probably took the same nap but mine doesn’t dent the bank like yours probably does. Judging by how you carry yourself you probably got picked up for free, my family is kind of like that. However, some things cross the line for that kindness. One of those things is being so blatant as to stare down my chest.”

His gaze which was once sweet now shifted into something else, that little flicker from lust to loser. He opened his mouth to speak but I shushed him, leaning forward on the backs of my hands.

“Now, please. I’m sure my father wouldn’t fire you, after all, it’s a pretty special job to be the guy who hands out shiny nametags to the rich and elite. I’m sure you’re mighty fine and exhausted, hell, I can see the bags under your eyes as proof enough. Now, how about you do your shitty little job and give me my fucking clearances before you end up with a billion-dollar funeral, launched ass-first into some shitty little moon on the other side of the universe. I can afford it and I’m just bored enough to do it.” My voice lowered to a whisper as I spoke, yet the same sweet smile adorned my face. “Would you like to do your job now, Leonard?”

”Yes ma’am. Forgive me.” The tinges of pink in his cheeks faded back to their dull grey hue as he punched in a few keys. He was silent and quick to slide my nametag and badges toward me.

Taking the nametag and badge, I give him a happy wave and head over to a large table covered in suitcases. It was clear to figure out which were mine among the others. Nothing screamed Georgia like the color pink. On top of the suitcase was a small bag labeled Georgia S in bold red font. I could faintly remember packing away clothes I’d wear when I landed.

By the time I’d changed into the short pink dress and matching heels, I’d felt much more comfortable. I loop my arm into hers, grinning happily as I give the badge in my hand a little wave. She seemed to hesitate for a moment but she relaxed in my hold and flashed her own badge toward me. Rina Yoshida huh? It suited her, a pretty name for a pretty face.

“So. Dr. Yoshida. What’s with the whole never night thing? It’s been dusk since I got off the ship.” The soft dusky light shifted through the large round window beside us.

On Earth the smog and dense canopy of neon lights practically covered the night sky. The only time you could really see real sky is if your family could afford it.

It was different here though. The sky was beautiful. I could spot at least three other moons but nothing compared to the hulking beast that was Polyphemus. She was beautiful, a blue and purple with swirling clouds. If I was a little taller I wonder if I could have seen their sun, Alpha Centauri A. The sight made my palm itch, like my muscles craved to hold a paintbrush again.

“Pandora isn’t like Earth, Ms. Stringer. It doesn’t get dark for half the year so we get this beautiful dusk.” She raised her hand, motioning toward the mostly starless sky.

“Must suck not having a watch around,” I said more to myself than the Doctor. “And just so you know, I passed all my tests with flying colors. Beauty and brains.”

“And brawn too apparently.” She said, wrenching her arm from my grasp. “Follow me, please.”

She pointed down the long hall and I fell in step behind her. You would think for someone of smaller stature she would have been less, well, less fast. However, she moved at an uncomfortable speed walk, enough to get my heart thrumming in my ears. I jogged forward to keep up with her but I could feel my poor heart already squeezing from the light amount of movement. My mother always said I was like a glass figurine, a bit pricy, a bit pretty and all too delicate. I knew she meant no harm but it always left a bad taste in my mouth when she did so.

“Mask, Ms. Stringer.”

”Oh yeah, mask.” I said absent-mindedly, slipping the mask over my face.

Glimpsing to the side, I see a few camo-clad men and women begin to filter into the base through another entrance, some of them staring me down.

For a moment I forgot I was vacationing on a deadly planet.

I leaned against a large aquarium, my shortened nails tracing behind a small indigo fish. Its little head fluttered after my finger like a dog playing fetch.

“Are you bored in there, little one? Must be suffocating to be around these goobers all day.” Squatting down, I watch the fish follow me, their cute little swim downward making me grin.

The fish reminded me of myself as it swam through the oversized tank. It’s body nothing compared to the large body of water around it. I wondered if anyone would even notice if it just vanished.

“They couldn’t even afford the nice shiny pebbles for you?” I asked, gently trapping my nail against the glass. The indigo fish shrank away, darting into a thick cluster of what seemed like purple seaweed.

“Ms. Stringer! For goodness sake. Please read the sign above you before you touch the glass. Every organism in that glass is older than you and quite sensitive to human interference.” A rather tall and lanky blond man approached me, his hands flicking my own off the glass, sending me flat onto my bottom. Watching him feverishly wipe at the glass, I stood brushing my bottom off.

“Isn’t putting them into a tank kinda like human interference?” I sneered, helping myself off the ground, shoving his sudden helping hand away. “What the fuck are they feeding everyone in this place. Crack cocaine or something? And you know who I am, I don’t think it’s good for your health to go pushing me around.”

The man’s stunned gaze caused him to stop polishing the glass for a moment. He gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, the gesture reminding me of one of my nannies on the night of my sixteenth birthday. I’d drank enough to make the world a blur of color and noise. By the time I’d stumbled home I could remember her grabbing me and shouting while shoving her fingers down my throat, causing me to let up everything I'd drunk.

Hearing a deep laugh from behind me, I turn around and see an all too familiar face.

Dark brown hair combed to perfection and a set of droopy hazel eyes. It went well with the crisp suit he wore, sharp enough to probably slice skin if you got too close. He had one arm tucked behind his back as he came closer, each step sending an uncomfortable chill down my spine.

“Now Georgia, be nice to Hughs. He’s into all that hippy dippy Blue shit.” Approaching me, Father places his free hand on my shoulder, before producing the other from behind his back. “And look what Daddy got you, bam!” He cheered happily handing me a rectangular pink box.

Twirling it around, I look through the clear opening with a disappointed smile.

“Wow, it’s pretty vintage, daddy,” I hadn’t said that word since I’d cried when he left all those years ago. “Twenty-three year olds love dolls.”

Looking at the little brown doll, I turn the box around gently in my hands. She did resemble me to some degree. The permanent smile, the beautiful clothes, the long coiled black hair and the deep brown skin.

“She reminded me of you, so I got her just for you. Took a while to get here just like you. She comes with a purse too, I remember you liking those.” He pointed to the box all too happy. “Got it for all those birthdays I missed. Would have got you a car but Pandora isn’t all that road-ready yet, just give me a few years.” His pale hands held both my cheeks all of a sudden as he squished my face together. “Now let’s walk, we got a lot to catch up on.”

If I were any younger I might have laughed but now I just felt like this doll, stupid as fuck.

Turning away from the man known as Dr. Hughs, I send him a glare before slinking off with my father.

As I walked with my father, I couldn’t help but notice that every door in this section of the building was riddled with guards. Some of them in large metallic mech suits, while others carried guns larger than half my body. It felt like I’d stepped into a catalogue for military weaponry and gear but I didn’t question it for now. I felt like a ray of sunshine as I walked through the sea of green, grey and black. Most of these men and women eyed me down like they’d not seen someone like me in years, they probably didn't either. I felt as if I tossed a single heel their way they might scramble for it to please me.

My father stopped just short of a large metal door. His badge caused the door to slide open. His office practically screamed money. Everything was a deep brown color, down to the two leather chairs which sat side by side at his desk. Beside the door entrances there were two guards, both who seemed like motionless workers in his own little hivemind.

“Please have a seat, Georgia.” He said, pointing to the chair which rested beside his own.

Taking a seat, I cross my legs and try to ignore the heavy scent of coffee and cigars, my father’s probable breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“What’s with the whole, militia thing, are you in a war, Daddy?” Leaning back into the seat, I examine my nails for a sign of chipping from the attack I’d suffered earlier from the hands of Dr. Hughs.

He chuckled, crossing his own legs, turning toward me while he spoke.

“Well, the animals on this planet can be a little volatile. It’s just a precaution of course.” He sat upward, the smile lines on his face deeper than I could remember.

Sliding my tongue across my teeth, my eyes take in his appearance once more. It was strange, not a single hair on his head had greyed but small signs of aging could be seen here and there on his body.

Reaching out to a small floating stone on his desk, I turn it around in my hand, the small chips along the stone causing it to shimmer in my hand.

“Unobtanium.” He said with a proud smile on his face. “One of my pride and joys here.”

Squeezing the stone in my hand, I place it down and then reach out for a small glowing tube of golden liquid.

“So, this is why you up and left me in the care of a drunk and some nannies?” Giving the small golden liquid a shake, I laugh and place it back on his desk.

I’d heard my father was having it shipped there by the bucket load, a miracle serum to keep you young and beautiful forever. When a sample came to the house my mother tossed it out into the garden.

“You left me behind for some paperweights and a fancy glowstick?”

In the notes he’d sent home, he raved over the miracle properties of both items. Something to save the human race and help us find our new home among the stars. All that bullshit to cloak the fact that he was just a deadbeat dad and a lousy excuse of a husband.

“You look just like your mother when you make that face, I hate that fucking face on your face.” He chuckled, taking a cigar from his desk only to light it on some weird looking button beside his nametag. Watching him take a long drag, he signs and holds it out for me.

Taking the cigar, I rub it out against the floating bit of unobtanium.

“I’m adopted.”

Handing the cigar back, he just blows dust from the tip only to relight it on his desk.

“I mean the disappointment Georgia, like I just kicked your puppy.” He takes another drag, looking out across his desk. “Do you know what happened when I first told your mom I was coming to Pandora? She cried. She cried fucking tears of joy, kiddo.”

Blowing a ring into the air, he points down toward the stone and glowing liquid.

“I’d watch her cry every single day until I died, if it meant you got to live a full and happy life. Tears come easy, tears are free. Money and working for it isn’t. So I don’t care if you think I’m some fuckhead for leaving or if you tell your little shit head friends that you hate me. You think I didn’t see those letters you sent as a kid?” He knocks the tip of the cigar into an ashtray, before turning toward me.

“Hell, I’d do it again and all for you. It’s the life I promised your mother, your real mother. Not some drunk, or some nannies. I don’t care if you hate me.” He spoke softly, as if he’d practiced this little speech of his in the mirror, to rid his stony heart of any guilt.

“I don’t hate you; I just don’t know you. The only time I’ve seen you was in ads or commercials boasting about your precious RDA. I wanted someone to be there for me during the important things. My graduation, the day I learned to drive, hell, I’d even take the weird puberty talk but I got none of it. Just stone cold silence for years. I didn’t need you to run off to Neverland or to get me stupid dolls or stupid fucking cars or any of that shit.” Shaking the boxed doll, I toss her onto his desk, the little doll knocking the over liquid, spilling it across his deck and under his nametag.

“Well tough shit, Georgia Marie Stringer. Jupiter wanted to be a star but you don’t see her bitchin’. Now suck it up, and try to relax while you’re here.” He put out his cigar, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want you to be unhappy, you’re my child, my only child.” Motioning toward one of the guards in the corner, he sits up as a handgun is sat between the two of us.

I didn’t know what kind it was, only that it seemed quite old. Something that actually used bullets instead of the fancy shit they seemed to carry around.

“And what’s this?” I said, picking up the gun with it’s cream colored handle. I’d handled one before as a teen when my mother wanted me to take defense classes but not much after that.

“It’s a guarantee for your safety. You’re my pride and joy and the last child of my lineage. I can’t have you dying on your little vacation. I’d hate to blow this little booger of a moon out of the galaxy.” Laughing, he pulls a small magazine of bullets out, each one tipped in a thin layer of golden residue.

“I want you armed when you’re not in your Avatar. This place is like the Garden of Eden with fangs and claws. The two men behind you, Lieutenant Royce and Captain Keegan will be on you like white on rice.” He motioned toward the men, who saluted silently.

Taking the magazine from him, I clutch it tightly and nod.

It wasn’t for my safety at all, just another reminder that I was property and he didn’t like to lose what was his.

“Aye-aye, Captain.” Saluting him jokingly, I watch him lean forward, his forehead strained together in a series of wrinkles.

“I’m serious, Georgia. Please, try not to be reckless. I know I am horrible at showing it, but I really do love you. I want you to be safe.” Reaching a hand out toward me, I instinctively mirror the gesture, shaking his hand as if we were closing off a business deal.

“I’ll be safe, I promise.”

“Good, I can’t exactly ground you on your first day here.” He reached out, his hand messily displacing my hair. “Now get some rest, kiddo. You have a lot to do tomorrow and I have my own share of shit I need to get done.

Looking down at his laptop, he waves me off and the two guards rise, coming over to escort me from his quarters.

Leaving the office behind, I inhale deeply once I’m in the open air again. I didn’t quite notice it then but I’d been holding my breath, like a little fish in a giant tank.

If there was one thing I’d not expected, it was for Captain Keegan to come find me in my room after he’d kindly escorted me back. I didn’t know if I was reeking desperation but I found myself in his arms, his body hunched over mine as he caressed my skin.

“You’re so fucking pretty, you know that?” He practically growled, his mouth finding it’s way to the nape of my neck.

Not even twenty four hours on this planet and I was already finding escape in some mediocre fuck.

“Wow really? I didn’t notice.” I said, burying my face into the uncomfortable pillow I’d been given.

When I’d first came into this room I thought it was a joke. You’d think a company that could build a literal building out of cash would have been able to afford something with a thread count over 300. Even my room was inadequate, vermin sized if you will. And now it was about to be topped off with dry humping and mid cock. The only thing the room had of note was a large thick window that stretched from the roof down to the floor.

They knew I’d been coming for six years and the most they could come up with was some glorified broom closet.” Feeling the man grasp my underwear, he pulls down down to my knees, while continuing his uneven grinding into my body.

I remember complaining for more only to be told that I’d been lucky enough to get my own quarters. Most people were bunked together like sardines. I didn’t care about other people, fuck other people.

“Are you wet?” The captain said, his hand creeping down my thigh.

“It’s like a six flags down there.” I lied, looking back over my shoulder. Maybe I should have seduced the other one.

Glancing toward the window, I pull off the humping man who has seemed to be dripping through his boxers. Slipping my underwear off, I toss them to the side and glide over toward the window. Drawing the blinds open, I glimpse out toward the planet I’d call my home for now, Pandora. Everything here was so vibrant like they’d all been filled with lava lamp fluid. Our base seemed to be placed in the center of a jungle, a large perimeter of tall mountains in the distance etched themselves into the skyline. I was still adjusting to the feeling of ‘never quite night’. Feeling Captain Keegan come behind me, he wrap an arm around my chest, fondling my breasts. Ignoring him, I press a hand to the glass pane, which was oddly warm. In a sudden burst of white small wispy jellyfish like creatures would glide through the air, just inches away from the glass. From the way they hovered and flowed, I assumed they were akin to moths.

“They’re probably attracted to your bright-colored clothes ma’am. You should take them off.” Keegan’s hand trickled lower, stopping just between my thighs.

“What like, they like pink or something? I think they just have good taste, it’s nice to have someone like what I’m wearing. Beauty sees beauty.”

“I like what you’re wearing, I just want it off for a second I swear.”

Moving his hand from my crotch, I place it against the glass.

“No, really. Look, they’re beautiful.”

Watching Keegan huff, he pulls off my body and comes to stand beside me.

“Yeah, they’re so pretty. Now let me-” He said as a sharp sound plonked off the glass, causing me to flinch. “What the hell was t-” the man was caught off as an arrow drove through the glass, the orange and blue feathers on the tip soaked blood red.

Letting out a blood-curdling scream, I take a step back only to watch another arrow whiz past my head and bury itself into the man’s skull, this one driving through his eyeball and into the wall. The alarms set out in a violent screech as I scramble back toward the doors which opened quickly. The last thing I saw in my room was the twitching body of the guard on the ground, his head sliding down the shaft of the arrow.

My first night on Pandora and I couldn’t even get much sleep.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 2

I chased after what I prayed was a chunk of apple in the soupy oatmeal I’d been given. Apparently, quality Earthling food was also sparse on Pandora. When I asked what the elite ate they only gave me another spoon of oatmeal, this one with more apple chunks in it. I’d not even here for twenty-four hours and I already wanted the first ticket back home. The bad food was one thing but there was also the fact that my late night rump turned into a battle arena and funeral ground. The natives didn’t seem to appreciate yesterday’s arrival, so they took it out on a few guards. Daddy said some old tree had been mowed down some time ago, so now the locals had their little caveman undies in a twist. Why couldn’t they aim a room or two to the right? I don’t know. I’m just happy it wasn’t my body being dragged out of that room last night.

You think they have like, an espresso machine back there?” I jut my head toward the kitchen, continuing to stir my spoon through the goop they’d expected me to choke down.

Due to yesterday’s little debacle I’d been under heavier surveillance. When my father heard that I’d been a little too friendly with the Captain he’d opted for me to spend my time with Dr. Yoshida instead. He said if I had to push boundaries I should at least make sure I wouldn’t get knocked up in the process.

“I’ve seen my father with coffee. I bet he’s just keeping all the good stuff for himself. Knowing him, he has a coffee maker hidden up his ass right next to the stick.”

Letting my spoon sink into the oatmeal, I sigh and nudge it away. My stomach ached right now for something with bones in it. Maybe Hughs was right to move me away from his Aquarium. I was desperate enough to shove my hand inside and eat one of his fish by now.

“Ms. Stringer, did you hear anything I just said to you?” Dr. Yoshida asked, her dark eyes locked onto my bowl of oatmeal.

It seems the scientists were made to eat something less up to par. Flavorless grits, a few apple slices and a glass of what looked like powdered orange juice.

“If I share my oatmeal and say that I heard you, would you believe me?” Nudging the oatmeal toward her, I look down at my nails to see they’re ever so slightly beginning to chip away.

Apparently military grade soap and thawing out weren’t so friendly to nail polish in space.

“I’ll take the oatmeal, but, no. I wouldn’t believe you.” Watching her pull the bowl toward herself she smiles and gives it a stir.

I watched her whisper an itadakimasu before digging into the warm bowl of mush. Watching her eat in silence, she licks the spoon clean before looking back up toward me.

“You get to connect to your avatar today, you’re quite lucky too.”

“Lucky? Let me guess. She’s exceptionally beautiful, graceful too?” Taking a swig of my glass of ice water, I smile only to watch Dr.Yoshida chuckle.

She was quick to polish off her oatmeal and stand.

“You’ll see why you’re lucky soon enough. Come, let’s go.” Licking her lips clean, she adjusts her nonexistent glasses and motions for me to follow after here.

Great, lovely. More walking. I didn’t have the energy or mood to ask her to walk slowly in order to keep pace with me. Instead, I opted to follow behind her in silence. Everyone seemed to adjust kindly to the Pandoran atmosphere while I was left wheezing every few steps, my little heart pumping her uneven beat.

As I followed behind the doctor my mind began to flood with memories of back home. I can remember the day I turned eight and I had my first respiratory shutdown. I’d been running around the park with my mother, it was a month after my father left and it was the first time in forever that I felt happy. I couldn’t remember much aside from reaching for my mother on the slide and then heat, pain and darkness. It was weird, like being in my own body but not being able to control anything around me. My mother claimed it was like watching someone die instantaneously. I couldn’t remember much after that. I just knew my hands were cold and motionless. When I woke up in the hospital my mother was gone. Instead, there was a hologram of my father reading me a book he’d said my birth mother loved. The pages were worn down, torn, and repaired with various bits and pieces of tape. Those memories I once held so dear were not souring my food.

“Are you alright, Ms. Stringer?” Dr. Yoshida said, her pace slowing as she fell into step beside me.

“I’m fine, please. I think I’m just adjusting to this all rather poorly.” I chuckled, swallowing down the warmth of bile which began to rise in my throat, my hands going slack over my knees as I rested there hunched over.

“Yes because ample amounts of sweat tell me you’re just fine. Rest if you need to.” She spoke rather worriedly, her small metal clipboard now being used as a shield to cover my backside.

Shit, if my boss’s kid looked one foot in the grave I’d be shitting bricks too. Knowing my father’s temper he’d find someway to spin this all on Dr. Yoshida if I got sick.

“You, uh, you were saying I’m lucky earlier right?” I cleared my throat, straightening upward.

“Yes. Your Avatar is ready to be decanted…born in simpler terms.” She held up her clipboard, pressing a few buttons on the flat surface.

I couldn’t quite make out what she was showing me aside from an embryo morphing into some human-like figure.

“So, how does this whole, like baby process work?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes, as if it were basic knowledge as she led me to a large set of doors. On the front of the pale white doors read B-12 like some sort of nursery. If we were in sector B I wondered just how many more Avatars had been born.

With a flick of her wrist, Dr. Yoshida slid her keycard through a small notch in the door. A strange whirring was heard as the door practically swallowed the key card whole, before spitting it back into her hand with a loud ding.

“It’s not really a baby. Think of your Avatar body kind of like a limb. An extension of you.” She seemed to perk up as the doors to the sector slid open.

The inside of the room was nothing like I’d expected. There was quite a number of tanks, most of them empty aside from one. Pacing toward the tank, Dr. Yoshida smiles, gently patting the side of the glass. Within the floating liquid there rested a giant body, it’s eyelids twitching as if it were dreaming. Freaky as hell.

“You know that famous Hocky player on Earth? Name’s like Simon something?” Dr. Yoshida said, her hands brushing over a small keyboard connected to the tank.

“Simon Colt? The hottie?” I scoffed, tossing one of my twin braids over my shoulder. “Who doesn’t know him? Canada’s favorite pretty boy who got his arm lopped clean off in a nasty car accident. Got cybernetics like a year later so everyone started calling him mighty fist.” I prattled on, happy to finally be on the same level as Dr. Yoshida for once.

Nodding, she directs my gaze down toward the sleeping Avatar.

”However, those weren’t cybernetics. That was actually a clone of his arm.” She seemed to beam as she slid two fingers across her clipboard. “You see here, we take the DNA from what was left of his arm and we grow it in an artificial womb. Your Avatar is the same but it’s altered a little of course. “

“So,” I pause, leaning against the tank looking inside. “This is like amniotic fluid?” I ask.

“No, it’s more like a special solution made of what’s in the oceans of Pandora. Think of it like a protein shake but with everything else mixed into it. Here, come closer.” She chirped, her hand finding my arm as she pulled me closer.

Sliding against her side, I lean in closer to get a better look at the large body floating inside of the liquid. It’s eyelids continued to twitch while it’s body followed, like a restless child. Letting my eyes flutter upward, they land on the umbilical cord attached to where her navel would be.

“She looks, different from the others I’d seen. Not that it’s bad but every other Na’vi I’ve seen is like you know-” I stumbled to find the words.

“Not Indigo?” A familiar voice cut into our conversation. “That my dear is because you’re a little well…more like you.”

The man known as Dr. Hughs gave a bow, as if he’d just put on a play no one else knew of.

“Sorry for the spat from yesterday, the name is Colby Hughs but you can call me Dr. Hughs. Lead scientist and developer of the Avatar program in sector B.” Watching the proud blond man step toward us he smiles and holds a hand out toward me.

“Touch me and you might just lose that hand.”

I recoiled from the man’s touch, taking a step toward Dr. Yoshida.

“Of course, yes, I’m sorry,” The older man clapped his hands together, rubbing them as if he were trying to rekindle a flame. “No sleep and hours in your avatar can make you forget yourself, manners and all.”

He knocked a knuckle against the tank, carefully taking the clipboard Dr. Yoshida had been holding.

“So, your body, your human body, was quite hard to work with Ms. Stringer. Working with your DNA was the hardest part I’d say.” He slid through page after page until stopping on a large image of my face and body. “Let’s say your Avatar DNA is like a drink, ever had a screwdriver? Think of that.”

Handing me the clipboard, he glides behind the tank holding my avatar, his hands moving in sections along the tank.

“Usually a screwdriver is made with two ounces of vodka and three ounces of orange juice. The Na’vi portion of DNA should be the three-fifths. You though, my goodness were you quite stubborn. Every embryo was terminated, I’m surprised you’re even-”

Clearing her throat, Dr. Yoshida gives a look Dr. Hughs a look I’d seen oh too many times from her by now.

“Your Na’vi is a fifty-fifty blend of you. Her hair, her eyes, and even her skin took on a darker hue to match you. She’s more you than any other Avatar we’ve made. Even her physical makeup is closer to your own, she’s a tad bit smaller than your average Na’vi.” He smiled, reaching out for the clipboard.

“So you’re kindly telling me I’m defective?” Cutting to the chase, I shove the tablet into his hands.

“Not defective Ms. Stringer. Just different, and different is okay.” Dr. Yoshida spoke with a soft smile, yet it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“We will need to keep you here for the first few days, you need to be monitored properly.” He pushed his wireframe glasses up his slightly crooked nose. “And no, it’s not because you’re defective either. This is just standard protocol for all Avatars. The last thing we need if for you to go outside and just collapse. We have the money of course to make another Avatar if needed but I don’t think you’d like to wait another six years again. You’re technically my first Avatar child, I’d worked on others but you’re the first, my creme de le creme.” He laughed and came back around the other side of the tank.

“So I’ve acquired two annoying fathers in less than twenty four hours? I’m living the dream.” I scoffed, as the pair began to usher me toward the next room. Dr. Hughs and Dr. Yoshida gave me simple instructions. Clean myself, get dressed and continue on.

By the time I finished, I’d discarded my clothes into what I could only hope was not a furnace. Looking up into the small mirror in front of me, I wipe it clean and give myself a once over. I ran my now slick palms down the side of what I could only assume was a hospital down.

The last time I’d been in a hospital was when my heart stopped beating and they’d barely managed to get me awake. I’d been warned to live life slower, that my next attack could possibly be my last. I didn’t care much, I never feared death. If anything I feared the silence of the room I was in when the doctors left me behind. The only company I had was the purse that I’d dropped during the attack. They’d dialed my emergency contacts but my drunken mother and absent father were too busy to even call to make sure I was okay.

Slipping into the next room, I approach Dr. Yoshida and Dr. Hughs slowly, my hands now balling up the end of the gown. The humming fluorescent lights and eerie beeping of the monitor nearly drowned out the side of my erratic heart beat. I was a Stringer for goodness sake and here I was shaking like a little bitch. Practically royalty on Earth, but practically meant nothing here. Here I was regular ole Georgia Stringer.

“What happens if I die?” I ask, approaching Dr. Hughs. He’d been too busy punching something into one of the pods to notice me. It was like some freaky amalgamation of a tanning bed and a coffin.

“If your Avatar dies then you will be brought right back to your body, Ms. Stringer, it may be a bit painful but-”

“No. What happens if I die?” Tucking my trembling hands behind my back, I straighten upward.

“You won’t die-”

”But what if I do?” I cut in again.

“I won’t let you die, Ms. Stringer.” His hand steadied itself on my shoulder.

“Would you let me die if I wasn’t Charles’ daughter?”

His gaze caught mine, a slight moment of silence falling between the two of us.

“I wouldn’t let you die, at all. I promise, you can trust me.” His hand hesitated for a moment before leaving my shoulder.

Watching the pod open completely, I nod and carefully slip into the warm metal container.

With careful hands, he slips a small device onto my temples, and the back of my head.

“It will be like falling asleep. Just lay back, close your eyes and count back from ten. If you want to stop, just call me.” He spoke softer this time, quiet enough for only me to hear.

Nodding, I relax back into the machine as he closes the lid above my head. The lights within the machine began to fade in and out slowly, each pulse of light causing my mind to relax.

“Ten, nine, I wouldn’t die. Eight, seven, six, I was a Stringer. Five, four, I was Georgia fucking Stringer.”

Feeling myself slipping away, my body relaxes and there I am, in a calming see of nothing, motionless. Until the hum of something began to fill my ears. It wasn’t loud or annoying, more akin to the hum of a mother’s lullaby. It was sweet, soft, and comforting. Maybe I'd died and this was my final sweet embrace, not that I deserved such kindness. The hum lulled on until it became louder, violent? No, just louder. I felt as if my eardrums were going to burst as it became near deafening, the hum was no longer slow but now rapid. Feeling my heart begin to race, I bolt upward, clasping my hands over my ears.

Wait, my ears? Opening my eyes, I blink a few times for the first time. Looking around, I see that I’m in a the room I’d glanced at earlier. Flexing my fingers, I bring them upward almost in awe and shock at the sight of the dark blue digits.

I felt a tad more lanky, but everything that seemed so large before now seemed smaller.

“How do you feel Georgia?” Asked Hughs, as he approached me. His human body, now much smaller, was wrapped in a bright orange hazmat suit with an exopack strapped onto his back. His hands scaped over mine, causing my hand to jerk and intrinsically grip his own.

“Woah there now. You’re much stronger now.” Wriggling his hand from my own, he winces giving it a shake.

Tracing my fingers down the front of the hospital gown I wore, I wince and lift it upward to see my fresh belly button. I wonder if this was how babies felt and if it’s why they cried.

“I’m sorry, I will try to be more careful.” The words were more sincere this time, less sarcastic than I’d ever thought they’d be.

“We just need to run a few tests on you, and then, you will be free to do as you please.”

And so like clockwork, it began. The tests were more or less the same as before. Memory, motor skill, and maturation tests. I’d had his fingers in my mouth checking my teeth and lights in my eyes to check me out. They even had me eat Pandoran delicacies as they called it.

“This looks disgusting. I'm not going to eat a grub.” I held my chest, the thought of the thick dead grub known as a teylu making my stomach turn in on itself.

“Think of it like Shrimp, Ms. Stringer.” Said Dr. Yoshida, as she gathered the steamed larva off a thick metal platter and into the base of a leaf.

I felt the bile rise in the back of my throat, threatening to spill from my newborn body. What made it ten times worse was that the smell was actually appetizing. I hated myself for nearly watering at the mouth when she’d brought the creature closer between a pair of tongues.

“Fine, just make it quick.” I leaned forward as Dr. Yoshida placed the grub in my mouth.

I quickly chewed through the grub, my new sharp canines doing most of the work for me. Shrimp salad, shrimp cocktail, shrimp sandwiches. Anything and everything came to mind.

“You know," I said in between chews, swallowing down the grub. “I’ve had worse. If anything it’s kinda like lobster you know? A bit sweet.”

Watching Dr. Yoshida pick up the tray, I grabbed her wrist and gave it a small warning squeeze. The knot in my stomach seemed to transfer between bodies.

“I gave you my oatmeal, so just leave the damn worms.”

“Am I not a god among men?" cheered Dr. Hughs. as he walked back into the room, a thick metal box in his arms. “Tell me I’m a god, Rina.”

“You’re something for sure.” Mumbled Dr. Yoshida, a small hammer in her hand now. Knocking it against my knee, I kick out some, sending my foot into a small rolling stand.

“So,” I popped another grub into my mouth, cringing away at the texture. “When does the humming stop?” I asked Dr.Hughs. “Is it like a side effect?” Each word followed by my constant chewing.

He set the metal box beside me, popping the lid off. Inside there was a vacuum sealed back with a thick silver label on the front. The top print had bold lettering, with my initials stamped across the front.

“Humming? Like, the mouth noise?” Said Dr. Hughs, cracking open the sealed back. The familiar scent of spiced oranges filled the air as he did so. “I think your Na’vi hearing is just making everything a touch louder, more acute.” He handed me the contents of the bag. “You might just be a rad more sensitive because you were just, well…born. When I first got my avatar body it took me some time to adjust to how bright the world was. Everything felt like a constant flashbang.”

Unfolding the clothes as he spoke, I held it up in the air.

“We had to make some alterations but aside from that, everything you ordered should fit like a glove.”

The shirt and pants felt rougher than I’d expected them to feel. Even the seams of it all felt a tad off, as if it were made with shaky hands.

Clenching my clothes in one hand, I use my other to pull my hospital gown upward.

“Ms. Stringer! Please, have some decorum. We have changing rooms.” Dr. Hughs said, his body pivoting around in seconds.

“Dr. Hughs, if you see something you haven’t seen before throw a dollar at it. It’s fine. I was literally naked in that tank like, this morning.”

Removing the gown, I stare across the open space now toward my Na’vi body. It was true, I did look somewhat like my human self. Even my eyes were a slight off shade of green, like they’d been blended with my deep brown human eyes. As for my hair, it fell down my back in long damp curls, everything aside from one long braid. Grasping my shirt, I slip my thumb over the inner logo which was just a stitched in MS.

“A Magnolia Stringer, how lucky.” I joked to myself as I slipped the top on. It flowed near my arms but bunched under my breasts.

Slipping into matching flowing skirt, I do a small spin and grin until I notice something new behind me.

“Is that a tail?” I felt a bit dense not noticing it until now. Reaching behind me, I gently feel the stem of where the tail sprouted off my body. “And I’m finished, you can turn around.”

In a matter of seconds, Dr. Hughs turned and gave me a thumbs up. I was finally ready, I could truly see Pandora.

Or so I thought at least.

When Dr. Hughs unlatched the door, I was met with a wave of fresh air. It was nothing like I’d experienced before. My lungs felt full and my steps felt lighter.

Taking a step out of the door, I began to walk toward what looks like a garden when I feel something clamp down around the end of my strange long braid. In a sudden jerk, I felt my skull snap back, my eyes spotting somewhat. Whipping around, I slam my elbow back into the man…well, the avatar in front of me. Watching him smirk, I bring my hand forward to slap him when he grasps my wrist holding my arm firmly in place.

“It’s just a little rough housing, Princess. Gotta keep you on your feet if you’re going to go prancing your pretty little ass around Pandora. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt now, especially on daddy’s orders.” The rather annoying man prattled on, flashing me the little badge on his vest. The words Lieutenant Royce shone brightly on the small silver plaque.

“I don’t think her father said rip her brain stem out of her head, asshole.” Dr. Yoshida said, rounding the corner. Her face already seemed to be strewn in worry and anger. “Try not to let G.I. Joe over here or, anything for a matter of fact touch your neural queue too much. It’s like a piece of your brain. You lose it, you might just die.” She snapped toward us both, her tone strict.

“So you’re telling me if I yank his queue hard enough I can kill him?” I kneeled down so I was now face to face with the doctor.

“You can pull my hair anytime princess, if I can return the favor. I just don’t know if I wanna die like the last guy who was inside of you. Lethal pussy isn’t my thing.” He said, his tongue licking his sharpened canines.

“Rest in peace to all the soldiers who died in the service and in my cervix.” I mocked his heavy twang, before flipping him off.

I’d seen the man only a handful of times yet it was strange, he looked eerily similar to his avatar. His black hair was cropped short and his neck was covered with various tattoos. His eyes were human like, the black pupil almost swallowed whole by the sea of yellow. From what I could see the tattoos trailed down his neck and into his shirt.

“I love to serve my country.” He pounded his fist to his chest and It took everything in me not to punch him squarely in his nose.

“Just shut the fuck up and walk me around, would you? The day I let you touch me is the day pigs fly.” I spat near his feet, turning away to walk across the open field that opened up into the jungle. I guess the land had been canvased for obvious safety reasons.

“Well, we got tons of choppers at the base princess, take your pick.” He laughed, following behind me like a blood thirsty mosquito.

As we ventured deeper into the jungle, I found myself adjusting to my new body a tad better, well, more than a tad. I felt like I’d been given a new high. Everything was more clear, everything smelled better, hell I even felt better. I’d been walking for at least twenty minutes and I could still breathe just fine.

“Everything is so pretty.” I said to myself, my fingers brushing across a sea of neon blue and violet flowers.

The flowers on Earth were nowhere near as beautiful as the flowers here. Everything seemed to move together, shifting with the wind and swaying with the breeze. Even the grass seemed to pulse, like the planet had it’s own heart.

“You paid billions of dollars to see some weird ass alien flowers? I can show you something just as expensive that’s a lot more fun.” Said the Lieutenant, his hunting knife slashing through the delicate stems of the flowers.

“Isn’t it your job to guard me? Are they paying you by the word or something? Just shut the hell up.” I snapped, squatting beside a small pool of water.

Deep within the crystal blue water I could vaguely make out what looked like a small gathering of catfish like fish.

Feeling the Lieutenant place his boot under my ass, he tips me forward and I lose my balance falling face first into the small pond, causing all the little fish to scatter. Pulling myself up, I spit out the too-salty water and whip around.

“Fucking asshole, what was that for?” Picking up a small rock, I throw it at his head and he shifts to the side easily dodging it.

“Well, I thought you looked a bit thirsty and I wanted to help you. They aren’t paying me by the word so I thought telling you might be useless.”

Pulling myself from the water, I squeeze my shirt and skirt, trying to wring out the water from my clothes. Wringing my hair free next, I stand up and begin to pluck small decayed leaves from my locks.

“Did you sign up for this just to annoy me? Why did you become a guard for the RDA anyway, nothing better to do?” Wringing out my hair, I turn around and look for the man through the dense foliage. He trailed off somewhat, continuing to clear path.

“Well, money just sorta blossoms around here,” he slashed through another thicket of tall plants. “Are you going to tell me why you came here? Don’t tell me you’re going to take over your dad’s position after I just baptized you.”

I opted for silence for a moment, listening to the oddly quiet jungle around us. The only sounds being the swaying of leaf filled branches and that steady humming.

“Well, daddy issues I guess? It’s a long-” The guard raised a finger to his lips, to silence me, his hands grasping for the large gun on his back.

Before I could ask why, I watched as a weird looking beast slammed it’s head through the nearby foliage, ramming it’s massive body into his own. In a matter of seconds Lt. Royce was pinned against a thick curved tree, his body sending out sickly cracks. My eyes welled with warm horrified tears as the weird blend between a hammerhead shark and a rhino reared it’s head back, slamming into the his chest this time.

“Back up, Ms. Stringer!” Shouting at me, he wrenches the gun from his back and aims it toward the creature’s head before firing. The bullets were loud as they were fired, the sound of them ricocheting off the the creature louder than the actual shot itself.

Rearing it’s head upward, a bullet would pierce through the beasts soft underbelly, causing it to slam it’s head into Lt. Royce’s side.

“Go back to the base, now!” He screamed through the intense ringing in my ears. “Now!” He said again, blood spilling from the man’s mouth like warm honey. “Go!”

Balling my fists up, I nod and attempt to snap myself out of my horror filled paralysis. Even though every limb felt like lead, I took off in a panicked sprint into the jungle.

Time seemed to move in a blur as I ran, my sweaty palms steadying me against nearly every tree I’d run into. Every plant, every rock, every sound. It all felt the same when you were running with your heartbeat in your eyes. Skidding to a halt in a large open field, I groan and reach up grasping my hair.

“Fuck, fuck me! Where did I come from.” I panted, combing through thick green and violet trees. I could see that dusk had sat in, letting me know that night time was just around the corner.

The clouds above me were also turning an angry gray, faint streaks of lightning warping through the clouds in strange alien ways.

“Please, please don't rain," I prayed as I continued my trek through the jungle, each step causing more confusion than the last.

By the time the rain began to come down in ice cold heavy sheets, I was at the foot of what could only be described as a large cliffside riddled with large cocoons of some sort.

“Fuck you Pandora!" I shouted, only to be met with the sound of crunching underbrush.

Freezing in place, I look over my shoulder to see what looked like a weird hybrid of a panther and something that would give me a swift but painful death. Even in my Na’vi state it towered above me, it’s saliva ridden teeth bared toward me. The small plates on it’s head flared up, like a pissed off blossoming of some sort.

“Nice kitty, please play nice.” Taking a small step to the side, it prowls forward keeping in step with me.

Watching it move down on it’s front four legs, I scream and dash to the side, taking off toward the jungle as it lunges out toward me. Any second longer and I’d probably be shredded in half, like the carcass of whatever I’d just passed.

Seeing a slightly uprooted tree, I scramble onto my hands and knees, clawing away at the softened soil and mud. Slipping under the thick tree roots, I tremble as the beast prowls forward, it’s nose low to the ground, trying to sniff me out. Looking to the side, I see what looks to be a skull of some sort wedged between what I could only guess was the reminder of some other animal. Clamping my muddied hand over my mouth, I hold back a scream and gently pull my hand away from the leftover rotten guts I lay in. Looking behind me, I slowly pull myself from under the tree only to watch the creature dive down, it’s claws slicing through the ground like a hot knife through warm butter.

“I’m gonna fucking die.” Watching it slash out toward me, I raise my leg up narrowly avoiding it’s claws in my ankle. “Fuck off!” Kicking the creature in the nose, I grab a large bone from the ground and hold it out in front of me.

Watching the animal bite down on the end, I use my other foot to kick it further into it’s mouth. Scrambling from under the tree routes, I try to use the back of my hand to wipe away the now blinding rain droplets. Every inhale was met by more cold water pouring into mouth and eyes.

Looking behind me, I see the creature bounding after me, it’s large body weaving through the trees. Turning back ahead, I see the side of the cliff from before. To the right was a small waterfall, it’s violent waters landing in what looked like a small plunge pool. Shifting my sprint to the right, I roll my shoulders and leap forward, jumping toward the edge when a pair of arms locks around my body. Feeling the wind leave my chest, I inhale sharply and the world around me snaps away as quickly as it came. Laying under the bright lights of the pod I’m in, I feel my breathing become uneven, my hands slamming against the top of the all too small pod.

My hands were muddy, my vision was blurred, my clothes were damp, yet here I was clean and dry.

“Ms. Stringer! I’m here, I’m here.” Dr. Hughs opened the pod, his face twisted in concern.

Sitting up, I place a hand over my heart and try to slow my breathing.

“Did I just fucking die?" I said, my hand smoothing down my hospital gown to touch my stomach where I was grasped.

“Language.” Said Dr. Hughs. His hand laid on the side of my neck, checking my pulse. “And no, you didn’t die. We had to pull you out of there. Your guard woke up not too long ago coughing up a lung. We wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Shining a small flashlight into my eye, he stands up and types something into his little clipboard, something I couldn’t see. Picking up his flashlight, I shine it back into his eye my cheeks warming with anger. My heart felt as if it were about to tear at the seams and they just yanked me out.

“You pulled me out? I was running for my life and you pulled me out!”

“I know you’re upset but I need you to tell me what happened. Tell me what you saw and don’t skip any details. Don’t leave anything out.”

“You want to know what I saw? What I saw?” Laughing, I swing my legs from the side of the pod still clutching my chest.

“It was like some shit-”

“Language, Ms. Stringer.”

“Something out of a gosh dang nightmare. Lt. Royce and I were walking and just looking at some flowers when all of a sudden this big freaking rhino thing creams him. “

“A hammerhead titanothere? I’m surprised they’re so close to the base this time of year…what else?” Dr. Yoshida butted in, rolling her chair in front of me.

“Well, Captain America told me to run and well, I ran. I ran until I couldn’t gosh darn breathe. I ran until my lungs felt raw and my legs felt boneless. I tried to come back, I promise but I couldn’t remember and that’s when the rain came which was even worse and then this fu- freaking panther thing cornered me on a cliff.” Reaching out toward the glass of water Dr. Hughs was drinking from, I take it from his hands and chug down the remaining water.

“Next thing I know, I’m crawling under a tree with this thing trying to kill me and I’m shoving a bone down it’s throat. Not much happened after that. It was get devoured or jump off the cliff I was near so I chose the cliff.” Tipping the cup toward them, I smile and set it down. “Good thing one of you saved my skin at least. Is that why you pulled me out?”

Dr. Yoshida paused, and leaned forward on her elbow.

“Wait, excuse me Ms. Stringer. You’re saying you were chased by a thanator and not only did you not die but you think one of us saved you? Are you sure you didn’t hurt your head on the way down?” Her thin eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Very funny. I saw your arms.”

Feeling my heart begin to race once again, I lock my hands between my thighs to keep them from trembling. Both Doctors seemed to shoot each other the same look before Dr. Hughs turned toward me, a gentle smile on his face.

“Well, we will need to send you back into your avatar after all. I don’t think I can handle a seven billion dollar deficit in my paycheck. Let’s just hope your savior treats you better than that thanator was going to. The Na’vi tend to be kinder.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 3

I sat up in bed, my body skin peppered in a thin layer of sweat while my heart beat its uneven beats in my chest.

Another dream, hell, another memory of my childhood. My little brown hands clutched at my mother’s dress as she walked out the door, suitcase in hand. Only to see the woman I’d been clutching was another nanny. My mother accused her of being a thief and a liar and practically yanked me off of her. I couldn’t remember the words they’d exchanged. Only my mother’s sour breath and bloodshot eyes as she demanded I call her and only her momma.

It had been years since that had transpired, yet I couldn’t shake the memory as hard as I tried.

To the left of the bed, I could faintly make out a small sticky note from Dr. Yoshida, no, I could call her Rina now. I’d been transferred to this room, made to share it with the young doctor at the last moment. She was over the moon, saying it was a sure upgrade from the bunks in which she’d been forced to stay before. She even seemed happy to share a bed with me. It was my first time sharing before, well unless oversharing with overpaid therapists counted.

However, the shared space did put my mind at ease. It was nice to talk to someone who was around my age, especially when Rina’s voice helped fill the echoing silence. Apparently, my new bedmate was like a genius or something close to what you would have called a child prodigy. She had more awards in Astro sciences than I had letters in my name. Twenty-seven years alive and she’d already accomplished more in her left thumb than I’d done in my entire life.

It was oddly comforting though, to feel like I was in someone’s shadow for once. Like I could relax, like I could breathe.

Slipping out of bed, I amble toward the shared restroom, stumbling over a small pile of crumpled clothes on the ground. Time in the shower was short, hot water was also a luxury you couldn’t quite afford on pandora time. Even the clothes I’d brought now were nothing but waste. On my first night here my clothes were sadly lost to the bloodshed. Pieces made by dead designers, nothing but bloodied and bullet-riddled rags now. The only things I’d managed to have funny enough were all the pieces my mother made for me.

Huffing, I quickly slip into the orange skirt and bright green shirt, each item adorned with beautiful yarn flowers. I looked beautiful of course but I didn’t feel quite beautiful, something about nearly dying in both my bodies. Only I could get lucky enough to get two death-like experiences back to back.

For all I knew my body was being used as panther bait.

What made things even worse was the loss of most of my heels. All I had now was a few pairs. Even as I slipped my feet into a bright orange pair, it didn’t feel the same. The purse I'd brought was lazily swinging on the door handle. The only thing of note inside was peppermints, some lip-gloss, and oh a gun. Knowing my father he would probably have his little minions spying on me to make sure I brought it. Grabbing my purse, I give myself one more look in the mirror before striding toward the door. Steadying my breathing I try to calm down, only to exit the room and collide with the one person I was hoping to avoid today.

“Wow princess, what are the odds that a man like me would meet a woman like you here?” Wrestling something from his vest, Lt. Royce holds his hand out for me to see.

Laying flat in his palm, I roll my eyes and slap his hand away. A golden-wrapped condom tumbling to the ground at his feet. Watching him bend down, I step close to his fingertips, the pointed tip of my heel digging into his fingers.

“As if.” Smiling, I lift my foot away and watch the Lieutenant stand up with a slightly goofy grin.

As much as he annoyed me, the man did risk his life yesterday to save us both. Part of me wanted to slap him, while the other part didn't quite know how to respond.

“As your savior it’s my job to make sure you’re all smiles and living of course.” He puffed his chest out, his hand fisted over his heart. “Don’t the good guys usually get a kiss after these things happen?”

“You can kiss my ass if you like?” Rolling my eyes, I turn down the hall hearing the large man follow suit. The facility was nearly silent aside from the thump of his heavy boots and the occasional roar of machinery.

Walking past the cafeteria, I stop and turn around, my purse swinging from the crook of my elbow.

The only thing I’d eaten were those little grubs and that was in an entirely different body. I could feel the knot in my stomach winding itself up further as I glide into the cafeteria, the idiot in tow. A few tables down I could make out Rina, picking through what I could only hope was some sort of soup.

“Lt. Royce, dear?” Turning around on my heel, I reach outward, my hand gently finding itself on Royce’s exposed shoulder. “Would you be a dear and bring me some breakfast? Tell them it’s for me too, so it’s at least edible.” Sliding my hand to the side, I pause under a tattoo of what I could only guess was some sort of army sign. “Please?”

Watching him stiffen up some, his cheeks tinge a slight pink shade.

“I know you’re just buttering me up but I’m into that too. Be back in a moment.” He jokingly bowed, bounding off toward the lunch line, his brownish blond cropped hair glimmering faintly in the morning light.

Sauntering over toward Rina, I take a seat in front of her, gently nudging her to life with the tip of my heel.

“Rina darling?” I cooed, only to watch her look up toward me, her lids heavy and eyes narrowed.

“If it isn’t my favorite roommate.” She said the words through gritted teeth, her hand pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Now don’t look so glum. I shared my blankets with you.”

“You did more than share your blankets, Georgia. You’re like a damn cat. All you do is pace around at night, move in and out of the bed and you hum in your sleep.” She plopped her spoon in her soupy meal, her eyes now locked on mine. “At one point I was tempted to smother you but then I remembered you’re my future boss. I don’t think first-degree murder would exactly get me that promotion I’m looking for.” She forced a smile. Her tired eyes were blinking out of order, like a lizard’s.

“Well, I’m sorry but it’s a bit hard to sleep when you’re next to the world’s first human fog horn. Plus, I got something to make it up to you.” Watching Royce approach, he places the tray in front of me, setting down the oh-so-lovely meal of the day.

From what I could make out it was slightly more edible than what I’d been served before. Powdered scrambled eggs, strips of bacon, and some paper-thin pancakes. I guess after my complaint yesterday they’d tried to step up the food a bit, at least for the upper class. Sliding the tray toward Rina, I wriggle it in front of her, watching her reluctantly bring it toward herself.

“And what will you eat? Air?” She turned the tray so it sat between the both of us.

Watching her slice into the meal, he pushes half the food toward me. It was strange, to see someone give up something I’d given them so easily. I could feel the insides of my chest doing a small flip as I smiled and accepted the offer.

“Well, it was meant to be a little thank you for allowing me to be your roommate. Now that you’re here I don’t need to weird option of having Lt. Royce watching me while I sleep.” Looking over my shoulder, the man happily smiles and gives us both a thoughtless wave.

“That’s even strange for my standards. As much as I love beautiful women, even I need my own beauty rest.” Straddling the bench he places down his own tray, beginning to munch away at an apple.

“Speaking of strange, I got a special meeting with our one and only Dr. Hughs. I’m guessing he wants to have a little talk.” Pushing the food around the tray, I stand up and sigh.

“This place is like a maze, I can take you if you need me to.” Rina stood up, her tired eyes lingering on the food for a moment.

“No no, please enjoy your meal and your company.” And like that, I left before she could protest against my exit.

By the time I’d arrived at Dr. Hugh’s lab, I felt horrid. My heartbeat could be felt flush against my skin and the bile in the back of my throat threatened to cover the ground. Giving the door three solid knocks, I lean against it for a few moments, only to stumble when Dr. Hughs pries it open. All the glee in his eyes from yesterday seemed like a distant memory. His blond hair was unkempt and slight stubble filled his usually clean-shaven face.

“Well Dr. Hughs. I like what you’re doing with your hair. Gives you the rugged sort of movie star look.” Brushing past him, I walk over to the pod I was in yesterday. The top lay covered in various sheets of paper, the uppermost being a map of some sort.

“Thank you?” He questioned more than said, filing in behind me. “I see you’re here earlier than expected.”

“Well, it’s not exactly like there is a ton I can do here, so I might as well spend my time with my favorite blond. You look a bit…rustic right now though.” Looking the man up and down, my eyes linger on his coffee-stained lab coat.

“Is it that noticeable?” He chuckled, taking a seat at his desk. “Your father can be a rather convincing man when needed.”

“Let me guess, he’s hounding you down about what happened yesterday? That’s not your fault, it’s not like you knew the jungle was dangerous.” Taking a seat on the corner of his desk, I cross my legs and reach into my purse.

Fishing out my wallet, I finger through my cards and stop when I feel what I'm looking for. Pulling out a small square photo, I slip it onto the desk, pushing it toward Dr. Hughs. It was taken on my twentieth birthday.

“When I was twenty I went to this pretty little club in the Bay Area, it was called-”

“Georgia-” He began, fingering through his papers while motioning for me to move off his desk. Lifting my bottom, I slide the few papers under me toward him.

“Wait, let me finish. I’d just turned twenty and I felt like shit because the day beforehand, I didn’t say goodbye to my grandma. She was pretty old, old enough to see the invention of sliced bread. She asked me to come visit her of course on my birthday of all days. She said the cats missed me and she’d make a little cake with me. I lied of course and said I’d come at noon. Turns out that at around noon she took a super nasty spill on her side and ended up in the hospital. I was too hungover and too drunk to even say goodbye. All I remember is her holding my hand and trying to give me a gift before her heart gave out.” Picking up the photo, I hold it up the light and give it a small shake.

“While that is a very sad story, I don’t understand Georgia. It’s not your fault your grandmother fell.” Scratching the scruff on his face, he sips down what looks like thick sludge-like coffee.

“And it’s not your fault that I couldn’t remember the way back and it’s not your fault that Lt. Royce got creamed. So try not to mope. If my father fires you, I will just hire you myself anyway.” Walking out toward the man’s coffee, I take a few sips and wince at the flavor. “Gross.”

Watching him stare at me for a moment, he cracks a small smile before nodding.

“You know, Georgia. I expected you to say something…silly. That was well thought out and nice of you to say. Oh, and I’m sorry about your grandmother.” He stood from his desk, his hand hovering over my shoulder again before reaching up to pat the top of my head.

Flicking his hand off my head, I uncross my legs and hop off his desk.

“Anyway, you called me here? Am I going to get lessons on how to handle the locals?” Making a handgun, I point it toward Dr. Hughs and pretend to shoot. “I have an incredible aim.”

“Yeah, no. There will be no hitting the Na’vi Georgia. The last thing we need is to recover your avatar’s corpse. You may be quick but they might be quicker.”

Reaching down toward his desk, he fishes out a small set of cards. Taking one from his hand, I look down in disbelief. In the middle of the card was a little picture of a mountain, the word written in English and then what I presumed was Na’vi.

“You’re going to look for these things. A mountain, a river, animals, anything. Try to be kind and gentle when you speak to them. If we can locate you we can send in a team to get you out of there without violence. Just try to be respectful, and less…” Trailing off, he looks to the side at a small blue cactus on his desk.

“Prickly, a little less prickly you got it.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 4

They said that death was easy, that it was calm and peaceful. They said death was like taking your final rest in heaven’s eternal cradle. They said death was silent and beautiful. It was why without a doubt, that I knew I was alive. Jutting awake, my head slams back against what I can only assume is a wooden pillar. My eyes filled with tiny black specks that blended seamlessly into each other. Note to self, don’t move your head back too fast, Georgia. Moving my body around, I look down to see a thick net wrapped around my shoulders and arms, the woven material reeking of what I could only hope was some sort of fish oil. Actually, I think that might have been the air instead. Everything smelled too salty, too warm. It was overwhelming like the entire beach had been used like a smelling salt.

“Fuck, where am I.” The faint sound of splashing water and shifting sand at least told me that I wasn’t alone. Something or someone had to have brought me here. The good news was that I’d at least been alive and that an intelligent species had me.

Sighing, I peer around the room as far as I can, taking in the view. It was actually quite the beautiful little cot. The walls were made of what looked like thick woven material, strong fibers of some sort that formed intricate patterns. Where there wasn’t woven material there were thick glimmering scale-like plates that reminded me of sea glass. Slipping my feet across the ground beneath me, I flex my dark blue toes, small rays of pink and yellow cascading down onto my legs through the scales. At least my prison cell was a pretty one.”

“At least, they have taste.” Mumbling, I tuck my legs against my chest waiting patiently.

There was no use in trying to fight my way out and only hurting myself further. The only tools and gear I could see were hooked along the walls. Thick nets, each with its own pattern alongside various bone daggers, some carved out of what looked like jagged animal teeth. One dagger in particular was made out of what looked like pearl. Its beautiful surface was stained pink from years of usage, which I prayed was on animals. My mind flickered to the skeleton I’d found in the forest and a chill ran down my spine.

The silence I’d been experiencing seemed to lessen as the sound of shifting sand grew louder and louder…no not louder, closer? Watching the front of the cot open upward, my eyes widened in shock to see my first Na’vi, and she was quite different than what I’d expected. Instead of the deep blue skin and braided hair I’d seen drawn in Dr. Hughs office she appeared more, well just different.

Her skin was a cyan-green shade and her black hair had been bound back by two small braids, the long curtain-like hair falling to her tail.

“I see you’re awake now, tawtute,” The last word she spat more than said as if it left a bad taste in her mouth. “I thought you might have died, it would have saved me the time of having to speak with you.”

Well this alien was a bitch. I’d been called a lot of things before but I never expected to be called the alien version of bitch, or whatever she happened to call me. I hoped not dinner. Her tattooed face turned into a deep frown, causing the aged lines across her forehead to crease. Maybe I could take her on, she seemed like an elderly after all.

Watching her come forward, she carefully undoes the knotted net around my body. Instinctively rubbing my sore wrists, I look up toward her, my gaze locked on her own.

“You speak English?”

“The best way to know your enemy is by knowing what they are saying about you, foolish child.” Her tongue clicked loudly as if she’d been asked the most obvious question in the world. “You even smell like them.” Her nose crinkled in disgust, as she undid the last net, freeing my legs.

Standing up fully, I notice that even then this old woman still manages to tower over me, ever so slightly. The plan to kick her ass was still in motion if needed, taller or not.

“I smell quite nice, I think.” Mumbling, I raise my shirt to my nose and give it a small sniff.

Watching her move forward, she opens the cot yet again and motions for me to come forward.

“Come child, are you dense? Do you have no manners?” She asked, her thick paddle-like hand holding the cot open for me.

It took every ounce of my self-control not to tell her a thing or two about herself. Instead, I brushed my clothes free of their wrinkles, ironing them as well as I could between my two fingers. If I was going to step in the eye of the public I at least needed to look half decent. Exiting the cot, I feel my heart drop as I stumble out onto a thick net walkway. When I stood again to continue walking, my foot went through a hole, causing me to trip again. As for my rescuer, she only silently observed me, brushing past me to continue walking down the Na’vi-made paths.

The resentment in her eyes was obvious to the point where I’d noticed the people watching us from their own cots. If it weren’t for the looks I was getting I would have liked to look around a bit more. It was oddly beautiful. Thick pillars of mangrove-like trees and roots embedded themselves into the ocean. Some of those same pillars seemed to support these pods, making the community look tight-knit in some places and spacious in others.

Pushing myself to my feet properly, I carefully walk along the nets and try to ignore each piercing gaze. It was so strange, so alien to see all these people and their weirdly beautiful faces and bodies. Even though I’d taken on their own looks, I knew I stuck out like a sore thumb, something that usually never happened. What was the point of living if my beauty couldn’t be admired, even in times like this? How did uglies live like this.

From my peripheral vision, I could faintly make out a small child paddling toward me in the waters, their little body gliding with ease as if they’d been born from the ocean themselves. Watching them for a moment, I watch their second set of eyelids blink and I try not to recoil in disgust.

I needed to get out of this place, and the only thing I could tell Dr. Hughs about was just miles and miles of ocean and some mangrove trees and a lush jungle behind us.

“Vrrtep?” A child no bigger than my knee whispered to their father as we moved past them, the child’s four-fingered hand pointing toward me.

I’d not quite listened until now but I could hear the word from various villagers. As if by natural instinct, I move closer toward the woman guiding her, her tired hands stroking a brown beaded necklace around her neck.

“What is a vrrtep?” I asked, my hands clutching at the ends of my skirt.

The word came out jumbled with my heavy southern accent, the Na’vi behind me giggling as I spoke. I’d been adjusting to everything with this body, everything that wasn’t social skills that is. After all, most of the things I’d met my first day in this body tried to kill me in some way, shape, or form.

Ignoring my question, she brings me to a smaller cot, this one less fishy but seemingly different. Opening the way for me, she points toward a small hammock nestled against the wall. It seemed new like they’d prepared the room specifically for me. I could tell because, unlike the fishy cot, there was no light wafting in, and nothing inside I could call a living space. This, was my cell.

“Look at yourself. Your off fingers, the way you speak, who are you. It means demon because that is what you are.” Pushing me forward into the cot, I stumble onto my hands and knees, wincing from the strong shove of her hands.

“You will stay here until I choose to let you go. Feel free to try and leave, we have heard you are not that versed in jungle travel.” She chuckled, her words bringing up the memory of the weird thing, the thanator, chasing me. “And if you choose to escape into the ocean, I hope you have said your goodbyes to your people.” Closing the front of the cot, I listen to the creak of the netting as she walks off.

I didn’t know if I should be honored or enraged at the fact that they did not tie me up this time. As I was escorted here I saw weapons of all sorts. Spears, strange bows, and tridents of all kinds, yet they sorta just left me here with nothing, not even a single guard. Like I was some sort of easy prey for them to handle.

“Well, I’m just slightly offended,” I mumbled, walking around, my feet kicking around nonexistent ankles. “You’ll wish you took me seriously, I’m very scary.”

Time in the little cell felt like it dwindled on. No one came by and I was beginning to feel like they’d forgotten all about me. The only thing I had to keep me company was one small basket in the corner filled with dry shards of coral. I’d rifled through it at least twice, finding the most jagged piece I could find. It was no longer than my finger but it looked sharp enough to at least draw blood.

It didn’t quite help that I felt an all-consuming pit in my stomach. Like It’d begun to gnaw at itself. They had the decency to make sure I had a hammock to rest in but not enough to bring me a drop of water or a morsel of food. Unless that coral in the corner was a dish of some sort. I was so hungry that I’d nearly considered giving the coral in the basket a little try.

“Fuck me, I’m starving.” Groaning, I take a seat in front of the basket of coral and pick up a few chunks.

Bringing it to my mouth, I give it a small lick when I see the basket tumble over and to the side, replaced by a large blue hand. Yelping when it grasps my leg, I pull backward only for it to lock down tighter, keeping me in place.

“So the Na’vi believe in glory holes but they don’t believe in feeding their prisoners?” Reaching down to the hand, I try to pry it off my leg and it releases, reaching up to hold my hand instead.

Watching the larger hand, it gently strokes my fingers before pulling my arm through the bottom of the cot. Yanking my arm away, I hear the voice whisper something, before pushing something smooth into my hand and releasing me. Feeling the hand push my arms upward, I bring the bowl up into the cot to see that it is filled with crystal clear sloshing liquid.

“Water?” I asked in a whisper, only for the hand to come back upward, reaching around for the bowl.

For all I knew, this could be some weird prank or poison. Tossing the bowl at the arm, I watch the liquid drench it before hearing a small hiss and a sigh. Watching the arm grasp the bowl, it retreats before I hear the sloshing of some sort of pouch and the pouring of liquid. This time, the hand placed it on the ground, the blue fingers forming what looked like a hand puppet mimicking drinking from the bowl. Watching the hand retract, I pick up the bowl again, this time giving the liquid a sniff. It didn’t smell like seawater, so I knew I’d at least not go crazy drinking it.

“Fine, bottoms up.” Taking small nursing sips from the cup, I let out a happy sigh. I didn’t notice it until I took the first sip but I’d been pretty much swallowing my spit these last few hours.

It was strangely cruel that the only person who helped me was someone I couldn’t see or even thank because of a language barrier. Placing my hand on their own, I give them a little pat and they pause before mimicking the gesture back. It went on like this three more times, and by the fourth bowl of sweet water, I felt awake enough to kindly push back the fifth bowl. I really wish I knew the sign for food because all this drinking was giving me hunger pains.

The figure that had been feeding me kept speaking, their words falling on unknown ears as they tried to gesture what they wanted me to understand. The only thing I’d understood faintly was water because they’d been giving me so much. Whenever I pulled my hand away from theirs, they felt around until I returned my hand to their own. I hated to say it but the small feeling of companionship brought an uncomfortable sting to my eyes. Placing my other hand in the hole, I allow them to look over my fingers, their confused noises causing me to chuckle. Their hands withdrew slowly now, this time retracting as the sound of voices approached the cot. I could faintly make out one yellow eye peaking inside to make sure I’d not moved from my spot. By the time the little inspection was finished, the blue hand along with the bowl was gone.

“Great, now I’m alone.” Kicking over the basket of coral, I curl into a ball, tucking my legs against my chest.

Usually I found the ocean calming but now I just felt nervous. In the recess of my mind a sour memory surfaces, this one from my teenage years. I found myself on some fancy beach with my mother by my side. It was a good period in our lives. She was sober and the man I’d called Preston seemed to keep her that way. He was a kind man who never asked me much about myself, just the way I liked. It was typically that way with my mother’s father figure of the month kinda situations. Preston was a bit on the younger side, narrowly resting in his mid-twenties kinda thing, enjoying the presence of my beautiful mother. She’d left us alone to get some drinks when Preston began asking me a little too much. How was it to be a girl my age, when would I graduate, what’d I thought of my mother, what I thought of him? I could even remember him faintly parting my knees with his own, something small that I took for an accident at the moment. By the time my mother returned her Shirley temple drenched his face. She’d apologized for not seeing it sooner, not noticing how weird he was toward me. However, all I could feel was guilt. I felt guilty for ruining that happiness and had not even thought about how bad it was that he approached me like that. Shortly after that trip, my mother began drinking again and I began to take self-defense classes. I’d say that was the point in my life where I felt like her mother. Where our screaming matches felt more like me scolding my unruly teenager. I’d poured so much bourbon down the sink you’d think we’d housed a distillery.

“Stop thinking Georgia, just stop.” Mumbling to myself, I clasp the side of my head, trying to drown out the memories of my life on Earth.

That was when it began again, that same incessant humming I’d heard in both bodies. It felt louder like it fought with the sounds of the ocean to see which could drown the other out.

“Please, get out of my head,” I whispered, cradling myself between my knees. The humming only intensified as I rocked back and forth. “Please get out of my fucking head, please leave me alone.” I nearly cried, my fingers clasping around my ears, yet it did nothing. The humming was coming from inside of me.

I didn’t know how much time had passed as I rocked there slowly losing my mind, but by the time the cot opened again, the sky was that dusky nightshade. I felt weaker as if they’d purposefully been starving me to tire me out for this very moment. Two burly guards fluttered into the room, bone knives of various shapes and sizes strapped to their tattooed chests.

“Wow they sent two of you? Makes me feel slightly better for earlier.” I said, pushing off the ground.

Slipping my shard of coral into the waistband of my skirt, I come over and allow them to grasp my arms, yanking me from the cot. The netting from earlier now felt cool as the ocean’s water no longer lapped at it along the rising tide. The water’s seemed to glisten and glow below us, along with the bioluminescent spots that covered our bodies.

“Do all your special guests usually get a two-man escort?” I said with a chuckle, my clothes clinging to my body from the cool sea breeze that washed over us.

One of them hissed while the other mumbled something about me being a demon, the only word I could understand. It was funny, this second walk felt a lot more, well dangerous. Instead of the normal curious eyes from earlier, there was a lot more flaring, as if I’d pissed in these people’s cornflakes. I wondered if they’d be transferring me back to my people like this. I could see it now, my father angrily waiting for me, his own captured Na’vi held at gunpoint. One sharp turn toward the ocean told me everything I needed to know. There wasn’t going to be any savior this time. If I got lucky maybe the Na’vi who’d brought me water would step in.

As we rounded a large cot, I glanced forward to see the same woman from earlier, her face colored in soft shades of white and black paint. The lines drawn under her eyes and on her chin gave her a more fearsome look. At her hip dangled a beautiful knife, the shimmering item slightly dyed pink from what I could assume was no longer fish innards. The guards who’d taken every precaution to have to touch me much now let me into the water, until I stood face to face with the woman from before, their leader.

“Kneel.” That was all she said to me, her eyes focused on my face. Her words were soft, but I couldn’t see a speak of kindness in her eyes. She wasn’t telling me to kneel, she was demanding I do so.

“And if I don’t?” I chuckled, only to have her glance at the guards.

Being forced down onto my knees, I hold my head up. The frigid sea water now lapped at my neck like an icy guillotine.

“Then I will show you how demon.” She turned her gaze to one of the guards and said something I couldn’t make out.

Feeling a hand suddenly snake around the back of my head, I wince when my queue is grabbed, my head beginning to feel a dull throbbing pain. The pain was worse than anything I’d ever felt before. It was like having someone’s fingers under your skull, prying it open. A throbbing ache that made you want to wish they’d just get it over with if they wanted to kill you. Yet, I didn’t know what would be scarier. Having my brain literally pulled from my skull or having my father yell at me for letting it happen.

Having my arms released, I reach down to my waistband, fisting the chunk of coral in my hands while their leader brings her carved blade to my neck.

“Why have your people come here, demon.” She gently grazed my neck with the blade, as if threatening to carve me open. “Were the Omatikaya not enough? Did the Tipani leave your people thirsting for blood?”

She pulled the knife away from my neck, shaking her head in disgust. Like she was above me, with her arrogance, no, her authority. Using her power to demand things out of someone as lowly as me. Instead of answering I raise my piece of coral up in defense when a guard knocking it from my hand, their thick tail striking my back. Feeling the air from my lungs rush out, I cough, sending water into my mouth in the process.

“If you have enough energy to try and attack me, you have enough energy to speak, insolent child.” She hissed, her blade slicing across my neck, drawing small beads of blood into the water. “Unless you need help with that too. I can slice you from breast to brow.

“I didn’t come here, I didn’t mean to come here at least, to your people.” Spitting a little salt water in her direction, I hold my head a little higher to keep the ride from my mouth. “I was in the jungle when I was attacked by a beast-”

The woman scoffed, cutting me off with her gaze alone. Her eyes gestured up and down my body.

“You are the beast here. You are unnatural.” Plucking my hand from the water, she raises my five fingers into the air. “You are the beast to us.”

Dropping my hand down into the frigid waters, she raises the blade again, this time pressed it to the side of my neck. I tried not to move, due to the already uncomfortable stinging I felt.

“Now you will be truthful with me, demon.”

“I am being honest! I was in the jungle and I was looking at the plants.” I shouted, my gaze locked onto hers. If I was going to die, I going to die my way.

“Liar!” A voice ripped through the crowd like lightning through a rainstorm. From behind, I could hear stomping as a younger male Na’vi came forward, his body wading unnaturally through the water.

He looked quite different from the other Na’vi so far, if anything he looked more like me, just a whole lot more pissed. His dark blue ears flattened back as he prowled toward me. Even in the dusky light, I could make out that his skin was a soft shade of blue, just a tad lighter compared to the dark blue lines along his skin. He hissed as he approached me, his thin long braids accentuated by small beads. His angry eyes were like two large black holes, surrounded by a bright orange-red horizon.

“I saw you leave that metal tent, you are the same as the others. I should have shot you when I had the chance.” He got low into my face, his fangs bared as he smiled.

Looking up toward his back, I see plumes of feathers, something quite familiar about the color of them. The way they were carved, the bright reds and yellows attached to the ends of each arrow.

“It was you. It was fucking, you!” Bringing my head back, I knock my forehead against his own, pulling myself away from the guards as they fought to hold me down in the sand.

“Your arrow, the dead guards, the oh-so sudden fucking animal charge. It was all you, shithead!” Feeling the guards place their feet on my legs, I hiss back at the male. “You even stopped me from jumping off the cliff and trying to return to my people. You brought me here.” Panting now, I ignore the dizzying pain shooting through the back of my head as they tighten their grasp on my queue. I could puke after they killed me.

“I brought you here to have you dealt with. Better to kill the kit before it grows to kill you, yes?” He laughed, his fingers rubbing where I’d slammed my head against his.

“Look at me, you idiot. If I were going to hurt your people, why would I come empty-handed and alone? I don’t even know where I am. Why would I approach you unprepared if I wanted to take you down.”

“As if you could, I would kill you before you knew your next thought.” He scoffed, tossing a little water into my face.

Watching his gaze shift toward the leader who’d been watching silently, he asks something in his language. Getting a silent nod from the woman, I watch as he reaches onto his back, taking off his bow and a single arrow.

My heart which was just still in my chest began to pound as that familiar hum began again. Of course I’d die with some weird Na’vi defect happening. Watching the young man draw his arrow back, he aims it toward my heart and I simply stare him down. Feeling something brush against my chest, I glance down to see a small blush fish skitter in front of me. Its body reminded me of the same betta fish I’d seen just days ago in the lab. At least when I died the little guy would have something yummy to eat.

Watching the young, he releases the arrow only for the elder to knock his hands to the side, her eyes locked on the small fish in the water. Feeling the arrow slice across the side of my arm, I wince and look down.

“Wait.” Grasping the young man’s arm, the elder lowers his bow, her finger fingers pointing toward the small school of indigo fish beginning to gather in the waters around us.

They’d probably been drawn to the scent of my blood the way they seemed to circle around me, riding an invisible current.

The little hum in the back of my skull was now like a storm, loud and overbearing, cramming inside my already too-occupied mind.

She motioned for the guards to release me and in that instance, all my built-up adrenaline rushed from my body, leaving me limp and weak in the water. I couldn’t understand why they’d released me but I saw her mumbling something, the word Eywa repeated as she told the man to seemingly back down.

“Eywa?” I asked, pushing myself to my feet. My legs trembled as I tried to gather myself, the little party of blue fish tracing circles around my hips.

I didn’t know if these little fish were called Eywa but I was happy to have been saved by them. Maybe they had like a curse or omen for killing someone around these fish.

“Thank you Eywa, thank you.” I said, gently scooping a fish into my hand only to have it bound back into the water.

“Do not speak of her as if you know her, demon.” The young man stepped forward, pulling his arrow from the water, making sure to splash me in the process.

“Be calm, we do not question the will of Eywa. You found her for a reason and brought her to us for a reason.” The old woman spoke softly, gliding around the fish and me to exit the water.

“Yeah shit head, you heard her.” Flipping the young man off, I make small strides out of the water.

“It is only right that you return her to her people.” She spoke English this time as if she wanted me to know she was speaking directly to me.

“So she can tell her people about our home? I refuse.” He moved in front of the woman, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Then it is your duty to watch her.” She stated simply before turning toward me. “Sky child. You will learn to hunt for yourself, you will learn to swim for yourself and you will learn to survive.” Giving me a once over, she sighs. “You will follow the laws I have in place or you will be thrown into the jungle to survive on your own. Heed, my warning.”

And just like that, she was gone and all I was left with was an angry young man and a school of happy little life-saving fishes.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 5

To think that out of all the heavenly punishments I could have been awarded, it would have been being stuck with an asshole for a caretaker. As soon as I’d been left to fend on my own, he’d shoved me back into the water, drenching me from head to toe. What didn’t help was how cold I’d felt, how the ocean felt frigid at this time of night. Now I sat shivering like a chihuahua beside a large firepit he’d brought me to. It looked like a large circle of black rocks, the inside hollowed out for a bed of embers. On top laid a thick warm that I was tempted to just curl up on top of. Anything to get this chill from my bones. Slowly reaching my fingers out toward the warmth, I grip at the hot air, my teeth chattering as I struggle to keep warm.

My not-so-friendly caretaker raised a thin stick, whacking my hand away from the coals as if I were going to drip on the embers and put out the flame.

“You’re the reason I am soaking wet right now, let me get warm.” I said, balling up a fistful of sand.

Standing up, I make sure I shake my wet hair and clothes in his direction. Everything I was wearing felt like a second skin and I wanted my pay back.

“Do not do that, demon.” He snarled, standing up to meet my gaze. He still towered over me but I didn’t give a flying fuck. “Do you want to starve? You will let me cook in peace unless you wish to eat sand.” He sat back down, using a thin stick to turn the embers over. Watching him turn over a large piece of fish he’d been roasting, he shoots me a dirty look.

Going silent, I move away from the fire pit and begin to slip out of my skirt and flowing top. Struggling for a few moments with the top, I grasp the middle and tear it open, not caring at this point. From what I could see earlier, most of the Na’vi were damn near naked so I doubt they cared about seeing a little skin. Wringing the water from my clothes, I turn to the side looking for someplace to rest them, only to see the man eyeing me down, his gaze lingering on my stomach and breasts for longer than I liked. Men would be men no matter what planet you were on, but I didn’t care at the moment. Bringing my clothes over to the fire pit, I lay my shirt down on a free space on the flat rock along with my soaked underwear.

“You sky people are strange.” He said, slowly unwrapping a large leaf to reveal some more fish.

It looks like something straight out of a nightmare. Two sets of large protruding red eyes and a mouth full of triangular, blade-like teeth. From what I could glean about animals, I could tell his one was probably on the younger side. Its colors seemed a bit faint like they were just coming in. Watching him raise a blade from the ground, he carefully begins to slice into the fish, his precision near perfect as he begins to separate the skin and bones from the animal.

“You’re quite good at this, for an asshole of course.” I said, as he carefully began to divvy up the meat, obviously giving himself the more savory morsels.

“You are very good at watching others do work, for a demon of course.” He seemingly mocked me as he picked up a piece of fish, skewering it onto the end of a stick. “Open your mouth.”

Something about the act felt somewhat demeaning as he anchored it over my mouth like he meant to feed a pet and not a person. As much as I wanted to shove the stick up his ass, I was starving. I’d not eaten all day and this fish made my mouth water. However, if I moved my arms or arms too much it would be like giving the man a free peep show and that wasn’t my thing. Placing one arm in front of my chest, I reach out for the fish with my free hand.

In a matter of seconds, I watch him drop the fish into the sand, a bright smile covering his face,

“Don’t be an asshole!” Picking up the sandy fish, I brush the small bits of sand off and slide it onto the flat top stone, praying I singed off any germs that may have gathered on the fish.

“I told you to open your mouth, try to listen next time.”

Picking up the steaming hot morsel of fish, I blow on it a few times and take a large bite. It took everything in my power to not allow my eyes to roll to the back of my skull in pleasure. Not only was the fish delicious, but it tasted phenomenal, almost lemony with the salty savory meat. Devouring the remaining piece, I lick my lips as he spears another piece of fish on the stick. This time he placed the hot fish directly in front of my mouth, waving it mere inches away from me. Fuck my pride. Biting the fish from the end of the stick, I watch him laugh, his hand clutching his stomach.

“I may not know everything you sky people say and do but please, do not call me an asshole, I know the swear. Plus, you are like my pet right now, eating off my stick to survive. You should thank me.” He poked my cheek with the stick, before skewering another piece on for me, dangling it above my lips. “Now open your mouth again and swallow it for me like a good pet demon, just like your pride.”

Taking the next piece of fish from the stick, I chew on it slowly, savoring the flavor for probably my last few bites. Licking the end of the stick clean, I nod and smile.

“Thank you, asshole, for giving me this fish. You asshole.” Grinning, I lean forward and flip his own fish-filled leaf into the sand.

“Why would Eywa spare a thing like you, I do not know.” He huffed, taking the rest of the fish for himself. His canines tore the meat from the head of the fish as he carefully scooped the eyeballs from its skull with his tongue.

“Well, if you have any issue with me, feel free to ask the little Eywa. I’m sure they will tell you.” Smiling as he cleans his own fish now, I reach out and flip over my clothes to dry on the other side.

“Little Eywa? Do you think Eywa is a fish, demon?” He chuckles, slurping the second set of eyeballs from the fish’s skull before placing it down.

Leaning over the fire, he knocks on my forehead as if it were a door.

“First lesson. You should not speak of Eywa as if you know her. You are like a stumbling baby unable to do anything but cry and eat. Even the way you say her name is question strange.” He moved low to the ground, coming to squat beside me, brandishing his fillet knife in his hand still.

“I’m sorry but I think I’m saying her name just like the rest of y’all. Eee-wah.” I said proudly, my words wrapped in their familiar southern twang.

Watching him stare me down for a moment, he reaches out and grasps my cheeks between his fingers. Pinching my cheeks together, he forces my mouth to pucker.

“She is the All-Mother. She is the reason you have a body, the reason even a demon like you has a soul. She guides, she protects but she does not baby you. She is not your eeh-wah. She is Eywa. Say her name correctly. Eywa.”

Moving my cheeks under his hand, I try to ignore the knife mere inches from my chest.

“Eywa?” I asked more than said and he nodded, releasing my face before taking a seat on the sand beside me.

We were both silent as he finished eating his last share of fish. His eyes occasionally looked me over as he did so. You’d think we would have spoken a single word to each other but we were both quite standoffish it seemed. Like two betta fish snipping at each other when it got too close. His eyes felt like they were picking me apart by the seams. I tried to convince myself he was watching me out of curiosity but the way his eyes locked on me whenever I looked at the jungle told me otherwise. Like he was waiting for an excuse to see me run off and get myself killed.

I had to say though, it was the first time I was getting checked out by a guy who wanted to kill me. I could imagine my journal entry now. Dear Diary, today I thought a guy was ogling my boobs. Instead, he was finding a way to stab me once without making a mess.

I giggled at the thought only to receive a slightly worried glance like I was crazy.

“So, why were you in the jungle?” He asked, toying with the knife in his hand.

“What I said earlier was the truth. I was admiring the flowers when everything went wrong. Why do you care?” I asked, looking over to see him flickering small bits of sand from my hair.

“You were running from a palulukan. I thought you were going to die. I was surprised to see you not only outrun it but try to jump to your death.” He shrugged and then looked down to the fires.

“Why did you save me?”

“Why do you assume it was me?” He asked just as quickly.

“Your bracelets. I can recognize them.” Taking up my now-dry clothes, I stand up and pull my shirt on first.

Watching him take up my underwear, he gives them a once over before handing me my skirt as well. Snatching them from his hand, I move behind him only to have him turn and watch me. Probably thought I would try to strangle him.

“I saved you because not even my enemy deserves that kind of death.” Standing up, he comes over and grasps my shirt, binding the middle in a sailor’s knot of some sort. “And cover yourself, your chattering is annoying. I don’t need you shivering in the Marui, now come with me.”

Again, he’d come a bit too close. I wish I could hide my annoyance but my tail lashed across the sand angrily. I kind of wished for a bit more clothes but I figured I’d adjust. After all, even my guide walked around in nothing but a loincloth

Walking beside him, I make sure we are near shoulder to shoulder so if he tries to push me again I can at least take him down with me. The walk across the netting to his cot…his marui, was a short one. It wasn’t that large which told me he’d probably been housing himself alone the whole time. The sides of his marui were different though from the others I’d been in. One side of the outer was covered in what looked like a lot of feathers hand woven into the wall along with what appeared like large horseshoe crab shells. Watching him lift the feathery flap, I step in before him and my eyes widen in shock.

The walls were lined with varying arrows, each one a different size, shape, and wood. One thing stayed the same though, All the tips of the arrows were made of crystalized amber, and each end was tied with feathers at the end. I knew he differed from the other Na’vi visually but it seemed like he came from a different clan in general.

Reaching out gingerly, I brush my fingers along the different symbols carved into each arrow, some of them written in English…it was people's names.

In the middle of the arrows sat an empty spot where I assumed the young man’s bow went. As if on queue he would place his bow down, mumbling something in the Na’vi language under his breath.

“So, when will your child be arriving?” He asked in a somewhat softer tone.

Popping a squat under the various arrows on the wall, he begins to sharpen the tips of his arrows. His tail gently swaying back and forth, like he was pleased to have worked up the courage to question me.

Turning my attention away from the wall, I lock eyes with the young man and then quickly look down at my body. I knew I indulged in the fish he’d given me but I didn’t think I looked pregnant in the slightest. Tracing my fingertips down my stomach, I trace over the dark blue feline-like stripes trying to calm myself to answer.

“Excuse me? When will what be arriving?” Stepping toward him, I gesture toward my stomach. “Do I look pregnant to you?” I ask, not able to quite hide the appalled tone in my voice.

“Yes, your breasts are fuller, they are like that of a pregnant woman, are they not?” He paused, his bottom lip going into his mouth, the bone knife in his hand pointing toward my breasts. “Was that man that got attacked by the 'angtsìk your mate? If so I can see why you have no skills. He is a useless man.” He scoffed and held up the arrowhead, watching it glint in the dim sunlight.

“Alright, so here are a few things for you to learn this time, baby.” I said, mocking him from earlier. Turning toward him, I feel my cheeks fill with an uncomfortable warmth.

I thought he’d been staring at me because I was pretty or he felt murderous but no, it’s because he thought I was with child.

“Humans, sky people. We are a little different from your people.”

“That much is obvious.” He said, standing up to mount his arrow on the wall.

“Hush. Our breasts can grow if we are with child but some women are naturally larger than the rest. We aren’t exactly tree-hugging all day and mate? The man I was with is useless and quite annoying but I wouldn’t say we are mates. As for Na’vi, do your women not have larger breasts?” I asked, actually rather curious, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

I slightly regretted tearing my top open now, I probably looked like a crazy woman. For all I knew he probably thought I was some deranged pregnant woman hell-bent on ruining his life.

“Na’vi women are not like you sky people. They do not develop large breasts unless they are with child.” His tail went still as he stood up, his eyes scanning the contents of my shirt once again. “The pink skins are usually all male. I have never met a female of your kin. Only those who take our skin.”

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little guilty now for assuming he was being perverted. He was merely curious. Rude, prideful, and annoying but just curious.

“On my planet, on Earth, women typically develop them with age-”

“How old are you? You must be older then?” He cut in quickly, another question he’d probably been waiting to ask.

It seems as if he was taking all the shots tonight, first my body and now my age. Maybe I could suffocate him when he slept tonight.

“I am 23 human years.” I said, crossing my arms. My temper beginning to soar a little.

“Then I am your elder by two years. You must show me respect.” He said sternly, his nose upturned in the air.

“As I was saying. They develop with age but you can get fake ones too. Some people get them removed and some people get them added for medical reasons or just looks.”

If you told me two days ago I’d be giving a Na’vi an uncomfortably long lecture on breasts I might have laughed in your face.

“Is that why you dress the way you do?” He said, nodding toward my body. “How do you move with your tail pinned to your body in those strange clothes? Do sky people not feel comfortable in their bodies? Is that why they mimic ours?” He said, the disgusted tone in his voice quite apparent.

He grasped a small plate of wood and his bone knife, making his way toward me.

“It’s not that we are trying to mock or mimic your people,” I said, feeling worse by the second. “We want to get closer to you, to know you all better. We have a saying where I’m from, imitation is the highest form of flattery. Is that not why you learned English?” I snap back at him, my tone equally annoyed.

Watching him begin to carve something into the wooden plate, I slap it away and he growls, picking the plate back up.

“Do not do that, Hí’i’eltu.” He said, picking up the plate. I didn’t know what he called me but I hoped it wasn’t bitch.

“As for how we dress, we do it for comfort or flattery. I’m not here judging your little loincloth, am I?” Giving the wood plate another flick, he catches it with his offhand.

Clicking his tongue, he grips his bone knife seemingly trying to calm himself.

Carving out two words in English lettering, he holds the plate up for me to see, out of reach so I don’t knock it out of his hand again.

“My people do not care about showing our bodies. Eywa has made us pure, we have nothing to hide. If you are to stay here, you will learn these things and show me respect.” He motions under the first word on the plate. “You are Hi’i’eltu from now on. You have not earned the right for me to know your sky person's name. As for you, you will call me Ik’tanhi te Heytsla Yawne’trr’itan.” He said his name smoothly, my brain barely able to catch onto half of it.

“I think I’d have an easier time taking on the jungle.” I crossed my arms only for him to smile and bring the plate down so it was now face to face.

“I know you sky people struggle with even the smallest of tasks. Do you say Ik’tanhì alone? Once you can say my name properly, you will be allowed to share my hammock. Until then, I think the floor will suit you just fine.” He pressed the plate into my hands and then went toward the center of the room.

Unrolling his hammock from a makeshift hook, he connects it to the wall and climbs inside, tucking his arms under his head.

“You’re joking?” I said, moving over to him only to have him turn his back toward me.

“Icktony?” I said, moving closer only to have his tail flick against me once more. I had a feeling this would make for a long night.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 6

I happily walked through the halls of the sleeping quarters, my heels a little higher because I felt somewhat accomplished. Not only had I managed to survive my sticky situation but I’d even left without a scratch, well without too many scratches. When I’d awoken in my human body the spot stung a little but it was nothing an ice pack couldn’t handle. It was actually quite funny that I needed an ice pack for a phantom pain.

“What’s got you so chipper today, Princess?” Royce said, his hand hovering on my head before opting out of messing up my hair. I’d spent hours last night locking my hair into thin locs, something that felt a little more comfy than just wearing it loose.

“Well, if you really want to know, Frog, I can tell you.” Teasing Royce, I hold out my arm so he can walk side by side with me.

“Ah, so you think I’m like a prince waiting for a kiss then?” He said, linking arms with me, our height difference making the walk slightly uneven.

“More like you belong in a swamp.” Stopping to glance at my reflection in a nearby window I smile, pushing a loc behind my ear.

I was finally beginning to feel like myself, inside and out. I’d even taken the time to carefully apply my makeup today.

“When I was out with the Na’vi they were a little rough with me but they softened up a bit. They want to teach me more about them and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to know more. Some of them are pretty cute too.” Pulling Royce and I toward the cafeteria, I place my hand on my chest trying to calm my already excited heart.

“What do you mean they were rough with you?” He asked, his tone shifting for a split second.

“Well, it’s understandable. I was an outsider and they were worried I would try and hurt them. I hit one of them with a headbutt though, so that was quite nice.” I said with a chuckle.

“Well it’s nice to know when this place comes tumbling down I can depend on you to headbutt yourself into safety. If you need any private lessons in self-defense you can always come to me. I know I joke around a lot but I’m a solider still.” His voice softened as he brought me to the table with Rina.

“I’ve taken self-defense classes in the past actually. Protecting myself isn’t the issue with that body because I actually have stamina. However, I won’t turn down a free workout session for this body.”

“Then it’s a date.” Royce said happily, leaving to gather our meals. It didn’t take the staff long to notice who I’d been glued to so they happily shared the better food between the three of us.

“A date, huh? I’m a little offended you didn’t ask me first.” Questioned Rina, a small smile on her face as she propped her head onto the table. “You’d think sleeping with someone would make them date you.”

Feeling my cheeks flood with warmth, I slap the table and shake my head.

“Oh darling, please forgive me. If we started dating everyone on the base would get jealous. Having the most beautiful, smartest, kindest girlfriend would be a lot of work for me to handle. Good thing that would be your job.” I said with a flip of hair, only to watch Rina roll her eyes.

Our time together began to feel more natural and it made me well, quite happy. The days on Pandora were longer so I found myself spending a lot of my time with Rina and not just because we shared a room. Sharing a room even, it was not the experience I’d expected it to be but I found myself falling more and more into it. In the morning time, Rina rose before me. She prided herself on her early bird getting the worm shtick while I slept in. Then at night when I would get in early, I would try to clean the room up, leaving it as spotless as I could. Back on Earth, my mother might have ripped her hair out if she saw me cleaning but here it was something nice to pass the time. Is was that or letting Royce finally smash and I didn’t want to end up with some freaky space baby, no matter how handsome Royce was.

“And I’m totally not dating Royce. Don’t get me wrong, he’s pretty hot. Body and face cards never decline. However, I like them a little more crazy and I’m sure my dad probably has my husband chosen for me already.” I whispered softly as Royce approached, three trays carefully balanced along his arms.

For a moment, I feared that it was slop but instead when he sat the trays down my eyes widened a bit in shock. It was a meal I hadn’t seen since I was nine. Grits, with a healthy helping of what I hoped was shrimp.

“Princess, you gotta come around during dinner time too. I would kill for something this edible.” Royce said all too happy, digging into his meal.

“You can balance those trays pretty well. Were you a server before you came here?” Rina asked as Royce took a seat beside me.

Already spooning through a quarter of his meal, Royce places the spoon down patting his stomach.

“Well, you would be right actually. When I was younger, like twenty-one or so I worked at this little podunk mom-and-pop joint to support my pops. He’s kind of old and a bit senile so taking care of him sorta fell into my hands when my mom ditched us. Learned a thing or two about pancaking if you two ever need a tutor.” He grinned, his bright white teeth on display.

“No thank you, no offense. I have a fiancé,” She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose taking up hefty spoons of grits. “Have you ever heard of Morishige Technologies? My fiancé is the man who programs all of the AI there.” She said casually, shrugging as she continued to eat her meal.

“No fucking way Rina! You’re like the soon-to-be wife of a legend. You gotta let me meet him once we all head back to Earth,” Nudging me excitedly, Royce points his spoon toward Rina. “The Ai he makes is in some of the nurses watching my old man right now.” Royce’s eyes sparkled happily, like a child in a candy shop.

“I didn’t know you were engaged, Rina.” I said, eating away at my meal slowly.

“Well, no one wants to be known as someone’s future bride. People on Earth would try and use me for those very same connections. You are the heiress to the RDA and well, Royce can’t form the proper brain cells to remember this conversation so it is fine to share.” She smiled and looked down into my tray expectedly. Nudging the tray forward toward her, I pull out the small fruit bowl, keeping it to myself.

“So what made you join the forces?” I asked, popping a slice of melon into my mouth, my eyes trained on Royce.

“Well, before my old man flew off the deep end he used to serve. He would always go on about how it changed his life and how it made him a better man. I thought he was right and followed in his footsteps. I think I got the better more dangerous end of the stick though.” Chugging down his orange juice, he licks his mustache and settles the glass to the side.

I’d not noticed it until now but something in the pit of my stomach felt at odds about just finding all of this out. Like I’d been seeing these people as mere background figures in my life instead of real, actual people.

“What about you Georgia? It’s a bit of old news but I heard you were a socialite. The queen of clubs as the tabloids said.” Rina asked, sitting up closer along with Royce.

“Well, they weren’t exactly lying. I used to treat the club like my second home. I wasn’t much of a drinker and I never did drugs at all. I’ve heard everything about me from those tacky magazines. Headline, Georgia Stringer this, Georgia Stringer that.” Chuckling, I pick up my own orange juice taking a few sips.

“What about, outside of clubs? Don’t tell me our Princess did nothing else- ouch!” Royce huffed, Rina’s foot on top of his own.

“I had a lot to do actually. My inheritance had a lot of stipulations. I needed to work a job and go to school. I tried to go to an art school to be a ballerina but that’s harder when you’re on the shorter end and have the vitality of a drugstore lighter. So instead, I turned to music and painting. Turns out I’m pretty good with my throat and hands, shocker. So I actually have my Ph.D. in music while I have a smaller degree in the arts.”

“If only you had a degree in time management, Georgia.” Dr. Hughs said, his shadow eclipsing me.

“I said I would come as soon as possible. Plus, I had to feed Royce and Rina, they’ll starve if I’m not with them.” Standing up from the table a little too quickly, I grip Royce when my head begins to pound, my world becoming a blurry mess in seconds.

“I’m sure the Lieutenant and second lead Astrobiologist will be fine. Now come along. Rina will have her hands busy today with fieldwork.”

Dr. Hughs must have lit a fire under all our asses because in no time flat I sat in his office, gripping a small cup of water. I’d tried to walk here all on my own without Royce but at the last push, I’d nearly collapsed. Back on Earth, I had a nice little unlimited supply of all the medication I needed to survive. Here, I didn’t have that luxury because the medicine I needed was destroyed on my first night here. So the only thing I could truly have was an inhaler. I guess Royce noticed then because he’d made a joke about seeing how light I was and walked me here in his arms. I guess he didn’t want to hurt my pride too much.

“So, Georgia. We didn’t get to cover much ground on what exactly happened. I need you to tell me everything. Words, what were the people like, the location.” Dr. Hughs took a small leather notebook out of his desk and began to write something down in his chicken scratch-like handwriting.

Recounting what happened to him, I pause when I get to the end of the story, a little reluctant to reveal that I was practically being treated like a puppy.

“So, you’re meaning to tell me that they spared you, all because of Eywa? Huh.” He combed his fingers through his blond scruffy beard, his gaze pinning me down to my seat.

“Well, to say they spared me is a nicer way to say that. It’s more like, they want me to learn their ways.” Looking at the small map splayed in front of me, I take up a thick marker circling the possible areas I could have been at, which by the 20th circle was too many.

“So coastal and they are not as aggressive as others?” Hughs took the map for himself, crossing out a few possible areas.

“It’s odd. I could be anywhere along a bunch of these coastal islands or whatever. I wasn’t asleep that long but who knows how or what got me there. All I know is that there is a whole lotta beach, some mangroves and a jungle. I couldn’t see much else because I was too busy trying to not die.”

Flipping the map over, I write down the two names Ik’tanhì had oh so kindly written for me.

“Two of them spoke English. The older one was better than the younger one, but he also looked quite different. I didn’t catch the name of the elder but she seemed like the leader of the group. As for the younger one, he’s a piece of work. He was the one who took me, his name is-,”

“Ik’tanhì? I can see that.” Dr. Hughs said, sliding his glasses down his nose, his finger tracing over the lettering.

“You can read their language?”

“I can read it, speak it. Being here isn’t just work, it’s getting to know these people better Georgia. Trying to find a compromise between the both of us.” He took his glasses off, setting them down between us. “If learning their language and respecting their customs is a part of my job, then I take the time to do so.”

Watching him push away from his desk, he rolls his chair backward to a small shelf of what looks like dusty books. Rolling back over, he brushes off the cover of the book and I fan the dust away from my face.

“And you should study the language too. I’m sure you would like to know all the things the locals are saying to you and about you.” He rolled over, sliding the book open to the first page.

Inside the book were small drawings, along with three-fingered stains from what I could only assume was chalk or charcoal.

“I don’t know, I think I’m doing well enough not learning that language. Ik’tanhì calls me Hi’i’eltu. He was staring me down so I’m sure it’s some sorta pet name.” Brushing my hair behind my ear, I smile and trace over the foreign letters for Dr. Hughs to see.

“Georgia.”

“Yes sir?”

“Would you like to know what that means?”

“Yes, sir.”

“That means small brain.” Dr. Hughs said, a smile on his usually goofy face.

Of course, I expected nothing less from the man who tried to kill me and then fed me sand-covered fish like a dog.

“Give me the fucking book.” Yanking it open again, I flip to the first page beginning to scan over the Alphabet first.

“Language Georgia, language.”

My time with Dr. Hughs bled through the week which was no surprise. When I wasn’t with him learning the Na’vi language, I was studying on my own or with Rina. And when I wasn’t with Rina, I was in the military training room, running myself damn near insane. For someone who usually had cute little flirts, he was a hard-ass of a teacher. Every day my body felt as if it were going to fall apart at the seams but that sort of made me happy. Like a child, I’d been told I wasn’t allowed to enter my Na’vi body until I passed a few basic linguistics tests. It was a nice cycle though, mornings with Hughs, evenings with Royce, and nights with Rina.

It all went well until it didn’t. Now I sat in my father’s office, three manilla folders splayed in front of me.

“What are these?” I said, slowly cracking open each folder to see three different men inside. Each with a background check, their photos, and more.

“These are the men you will choose from, to marry of course.” He took a drag of his cigar, nudging one folder closer than the other. “All three of these men have expertise in workings with the RDA. They’re actually coming to Pandora the moment you choose one of them to marry. It will take them a couple years but by the time they arrive you will be in their age bracket.”

There it was. Me being used like a pawn for his own gains.

“And what if I don’t like any of them? What if I wanted to marry for love?” I said, pushing the folders back.

“You can learn to love someone, and you can always learn to love others on the side.” He pushed the folders back, a wide grin on his face. “Unless you want Daddy to consider a man for you, I got exceptional taste.”

“No, it’s fine. I will think it over.” Taking the folders, I stand up gathering them. “I’ll go look these over now.”

I lied.

“Try not to make them wait too long.”

And just like that, I was gone.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 7

When I awoke back in my Na’vi body I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. Not only was my whole body sluggish but I’d curled up in a fetal position for over a week. I guess switching bodies was like sleeping and I’d just looked lazy. When I rolled out of the hammock, I instinctively found myself going to the corner where Ik’tanhì kept his water pouch. Splashing my face clean, I take a few sips and sigh, just happy to get something into this empty stomach.

The clothes I’d been wearing too were wrinkled beyond repair. The only thing I truly wanted to do was wash my body clean. Pushing myself to stand, I feel my bottom push against something firm, only to see Ik’tanhì standing behind me, as silent as a mouse.

“Well, good morning to you too,” I said in between yawns, moving so I was a few feet away from him.

Rubbing the tired from my eyes, I watch him take a step forward, giving me a sniff before recoiling in disgust.

“You still smell like sky people. You need to wash.” He groaned, grasping a small basket from the ground. “Come you need to wash, now.”

Raising my shirt to my nose, I give it a small sniff to see what he means. It smelled like regular clothes to me, aside from the smell of dried ocean water he’d shoved me into. Deciding to follow him, I am surprised when he locks his hand around my wrist, practically yanking me from the Marui.

“I don’t think a wash in the ocean will do me any good, Ik’tanhì,” I said his name with pride, only for him to pull me closer to the jungle.

“Who said you are going to the ocean? I think your scent would scare away even the fish.” Bringing me toward the tree line of the jungle, I watch as he places two of his free fingers in his mouth, blowing out a sharp whistle.

Knowing my luck was calling for that panther to chow down on me. Struggling in his grip, I yank my wrist free and groan.

“You do not need to hold onto me, I’m not a child.” I tried to sound confident but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. To think that, that thing could be out there made me uncomfortable.

I guess Ik’tanhì could see the fear in my gaze because he sighed, turning to show me the daggers on his hips and the one hidden in a small vest across his chest.

“You are under my protection. Nothing will hurt you while we are together.” Looking back toward me, he would reach down for my hand, only for something large to poke its head from the forest.

The creature in front of me made my heart drop to the pits of my stomach just from its head alone. It reminded me of a strange blend of a dragon and a reptile. Watching the creature spread its large teal and yellow wings outward, I instinctively step in front of Ik’tanhì, my hands holding onto his arms. The last thing I needed was my meal ticket dying, this thing could eat something else. Raising its head into the air, the creature lets out a loud cry, its jagged teeth sparkling in the early morning light.

“What are you doing, you baby? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Whispered Ik’tanhì, his hands moving up to my shoulders.

“I’m trying to keep you from being killed, now back up, slowly.” Placing a hand out toward the creature, I step on Ik’tanhì’s foot praying he moves back a step.

Watching the creature come forward, it lets out a huff, the air from its face blowing back a few strands of my hair from my vision. In a matter of seconds, its large mouth opened up, diving down toward Ik’tanhì and I. Shoving him backward, I move in between him and the creature only for the animal to push me onto the ground with its head. I had another life to live if this all failed, I could go back to the ship and head home, I could let this thing rip Ik’tanhì to shreds and be free, possibly run off into the forest and die but also live. But, I couldn’t do that. Not after all the damage these people had already faced.

Falling flat on my bottom, it takes a step over me heading toward Ik’tanhi who now angrily flung mud off his bottom. Grasping a stick off the ground, I raise it above my head to attack when I see the creature bury its face into Ik’tanhì’s side.

“And what do you plan on doing with that?” He said, standing while gently stroking the creature’s neck. “Do you plan on killing my Ikran with a stick?” He laughed, causing me to drop the stick to the ground.

“I thought it was going to attack us. I was trying to protect you.”

“Tetsa hurt me?” He said with a scoff, reaching up to pat the animal’s maw. “She would not hurt me, she is not like a human.” He said while shooting me a dirty look.

Deciding to bite my tongue this once, I sigh and wipe mud from my bottom, my skirt having torn on the fall down due to a rock.

“I was only trying to help,” I said, moving over toward Ik’tanhì, still weary of the creature.

“Violence is not helping, your people have helped enough.” He said through gritted teeth, his gaze narrowed in my direction. “Now come, I do not want a single second more of that, smell.”

Note to self, next time I see a murder beast, let it take Ik’tanhì away and off my hands.

Taking a few tentative steps closer, I reach out toward the Ikran only to have the creature push my hand away. Reaching out once more, she rears her head back, her wings flapping wildly in the air.

“Tetsa is not the friendly type I take it,” I said as Ik’tanhì mounted the creature, his hands carefully working at the intricate saddle.

"No, you have to earn Tetsa's trust, just like you have to earn mine," Ik'tanhì said, his gaze steady on me. "Now, are you going to stand there all day or are we going to wash that smell off you?"

Watching him carefully, he grasps one of the creature's strange antennae before taking up his own long neural queue. Watching him somehow connect the two, I raise a slightly disgusted eyebrow. I hope this isn’t what he meant by mating.

“I can’t exactly hop up onto her, now can I?” I said as the beast pulled away at my slightest touch.

“That is because she can sense your own hesitance.” Watching him usher the creature down, he reaches out, hooking his hands under my arms.

Being hoisted off the ground, he turns slightly and I slide in behind him, trying to adjust to the hardened saddle. I’d seen a scene like this before in a romantic movie. The only difference was the male lead wasn’t a total fucking asshole and the horse was well…a horse. I bet Ik’tanhì would hate movies, he seems to hate everything.

“Just shut up and take me to get clean,” I grumbled as the creature jerked upward, its wings flapping as it lifted off the ground.

“On this, we both agree.” He huffed, his voice loud enough to hear over the flapping wings.

Feeling the creature take off, I flinch and wrap my arms around Ik’tanhì, feeling rather defeated that I’d need to rely on him again. What made it worse was that he seemed to be flying quickly on purpose.

“Are you scared, Hi’i’eltu?” He asked, as Tetsa sharply dipped lower, her body barely above the tree line.

“Yes, yes I am!” I said, my hands gripping him harder as I prayed I did not slip off.

"Good, fear can be a great motivator," Ik'tanhì responded, his voice echoing with a hint of amusement. "Hold on tight, we will be there soon." With that, he urged Tetsa to fly even faster, and the wind whipped through my hair as we soared high above the lush, alien jungle.

“A motivator? I can assure you, I’m motivated enough.” I yelped, scooting as close as I could. I knew that if I looked down I would probably pass out.

Back on Earth, I felt like I’d shit myself from just going up the elevator in a couple of high-rise apartments. Here it was ten times worse, like my worst fear had been cranked up higher and higher.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and try to steady my racing heart. "I'm going to kill you when we land, Ik'tanhì," I muttered under my breath, holding onto him for dear life as we continued our terrifying flight.

His laughter echoed in the wind, only fueling my determination to get back at him once my feet were safely on the ground again. The rest of the flight passed in tense silence, my eyes squeezed shut and my grip on him never wavering. When we finally landed, my knees felt like jelly and my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.

“See, Hi’i’eltu. You survived, didn’t you?” He dismounted from Tetsa, and reached upward, pulling me onto the ground.

“You’re lucky, I need a ride back.” I groaned, my hand clutching my stomach. “Where are we?”

From the looks of it, we were no longer near the beach but at what looked like a large somewhat shallow lake. I would be lying If I said it wasn’t near breathtaking. Connected to the lake was some sort of large river, its endless water supply seemingly keeping the lake continuously flowing off the cliff’s edge we were near. Even the ginormous tree beside us seemed perfectly placed, its fanned-out leaves shielding the bright morning sun.

“We are where you will clean,” Ik’tanhi said, his hands moving behind him to remove his loincloth and various gear.

Redirecting my attention out toward the cliff’s end, I point across the large ravine we seemed to be directly beside. On the other side of the ravine, you could clearly make out a large river with strange buffalo-like creatures crossing the waters.

“Do you need my help undressing you as well?” He said, approaching me from behind, his hand landing on my shoulder.

Shoving him away from me, I avert my gaze again.

“No’m, I’m fine! Just turn around.” I said, beginning to untie the sailor’s knot between my breasts.

I didn’t quite know why but I felt as odds seeing Ik’tanhì just bare and out in the open. I know just days ago I’d practically put on Pandora’s first peep show but now? I felt somewhat self-conscious about seeing him or him seeing me.

“Fine, anything to help you clean faster.” He grumbled, the water shifting behind me.

Peeling away my tattered clothes, I settle them down in the water and take a seat myself. Clearing my throat, I watch Ik’tanhì turn around. The basket he’d brought was perfectly positioned between his hips and my line of sight.

“Why couldn’t I just wash with the rest of the people?” Watching Ik’tanhì take a seat beside me, he positions the basket in his lap, carefully unlacing the top knot.

Within the basket sat a star-shaped pot of some sort, its insides an array of bright warm colors along with what looked like mashed leaves of some sort. Watching him fish a small thin stick from the basket, he chews off the end and hands it toward me. Watching him do the same to his own stick, he swipes it down into the water before bringing it upward to scrub the ends and surface of his teeth. Mimicking the gesture, I begin to scrub my teeth. First thing first when I find my Avatar body? Bringing back a proper toothbrush.

“I’m sure you can answer that one for yourself.” He said, washing his mouth out with a handful of water.

“What exactly have I done to your people?” I said, placing my makeshift toothbrush into the river’s stream. “I’m not the one who hurt you.”

“But you’re the one who comes to our home, pushes our people away, and breaks the laws of our land. You are not just yourself, Hi’i’eltu. Every selfish ounce of you is your people.” He hissed.

“And what will it take to make me change that?” I said, grabbing the star-shaped pot from the basket, only to have him yank it back.

Watching him stick a hand in the pot, he pulls out a handful of the leaf paste along with a small net. Watching him carefully tie the paste into the net, he drops it in my lap. Every movement held resentment as if I’d personally hurt him.

“There is nothing you can do if you have to ask that, now clean yourself and be silent.” He turned his back toward me, seemingly done.

I didn’t have the energy to fight him, nor the will to. It wasn’t as if he was entirely wrong. On the day of my arrival, I did not care about the landing or its repercussions, just the fact that I was tired and cranky.

Running the small baggie into the water, I roll it between my hands, watching it lather into a slimy but soapy mixture. Rubbing it along my skin, I sigh, just happy to be getting clean for once. I didn’t care if the water was damn cold at the moment. Scooping the water into my hair next, I begin to wash it clean, rinsing free days of loose sand and mud. The soap held a familiar earthy tone. Not dirty, but clean and leafy. It brought back a memory of my childhood in which I’d been sat in my nanny’s lap as she brushed and braided my hair.

“Hijo del corazón, deja ya de llorar…” The song rang out in the quiet of the jungle, my voice out into the empty ravine. “Junto a ti yo voy a estar, Y nunca más te han de hacer mal.”

I could hear Ik’tanhì’s splashing halt for a moment as if my singing had interrupted his oh-so-important washing.

“Are you singing?” He asked, his movements slightly quieter this time.

“Yes, is there a problem?” I snapped, my tone shifting with my mood.

“No, it is just the first time I’ve heard a tawtute sing, I did not think it could sound like that.” I could feel his gaze on my back as the water shifted behind me.

“Like what?” I said, my fingers balling into a fast.

He seemed to think for a moment, the silence around us deafening.

“Thoughtful.”

I didn’t know why but the slight compliment took my mood from its depths and dragged it upward.

Straightening my back out some, I rinse my hair clean with a small smile.

“Tus ojitos de luz. El llanto no ha de nublar. Ven aquí, my dulce amor, nadie nos ha de separar.” Finishing off the song somewhat quieter this time, I wring my hair clean and quickly grasp my now-soaked shirt.

I didn’t have enough soap to wash it as clean as I wanted but what I had would do.

Scrubbing away any remnants of mud, sand, and seawater I clear my throat and look to the side to see Ik’tanhì beginning to wrap his loincloth around his hips. I wondered how he would have treated me if I was a Na’vi. Would he have been kinder or would he have been so cruel and unwelcoming still? Did they dislike me because of me or because I was simply human?

“That was not English, was it?” He said, his tongue struggling with the G sound.

“No, it is called Spanish. It’s one of the ways we speak on Earth. Why, do you like it?” I said, standing up with my soaked clothes.

Wringing them as dry as can be, I slip into my tattered top and skirt.

“It is new. It is quite strange that you humans would divide your people further with language.” He shook his head as if the concept was truly baffling.

“Just wait till you learn more about human division.” I chuckled, and went beside him, holding my arm out. “How do I smell now? Do you think the village will be kinder?”

Ik'tanhì moved closer, taking a cautious sniff, his nose brushing along my skin. "You smell not as disgusting. As for the village, actions speak louder than words, or smells.” He let out a sharp whistle, and like clockwork, Tetsa darted from the tree line, her maw full of what I could only pray was fish.

“We will see about that. Maybe I can sing my way into their hearts.” I joked, taking Ik’tanhì’s hand as he mounted Tetsa.

“Do not get too ahead of yourself, Hi’i’eltu.” He chuckled, lifting us both into the sky.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 8

Another morning with Dr. Hughs and I began to see why he usually sat alone, the man knew how to talk your damn ear off. I’d practically been waterboarded in everything Na’vi, from the language down to how they washed their ass. He mentioned that however, there were things not even he could teach me. The only thing that kept me from jamming my pen into my own carotid artery was the fact that he was being so kind to me.

“Stop it. Please, stop chewing on the end of all my pens Georgia. You’re like a teething kitten.” Hughs’ scolded me in Lìʼfya leNaʼvi, the language of the oh-so-lovely Na’vi.

He’d refused to speak to me in English, he claimed it made it easier on the brain to fully dive into a new language when learning. The first day of learning left me needing to use the restroom more than I would have liked.

In a slow lumbered motion, Hughs came around the table, plucking the pen from in between my canines. Watching him wipe the pen free of lip gloss, he hands it back over, making sure to place it squarely in my palm.

“I can’t help it, I’m nervous. They already have me on thin ice. One wrong ‘message’ from Eywa and I’m fish bait. I was less nervous in college.” Rubbing the sides of my temples, I pinch my eyes shut and try to slow my breathing. “It doesn’t help that I haven’t had my father check on me once. I’ve seen Rina smile more than I’ve seen my other father.”

“I heard that you little shit,” Rina said, her voice muffled by the tower of paperwork she’d been sitting behind for the last hour.

“Language, Dr. Yoshida, language.” Hughs’ said, shooting Rina a side-eye glance.

As if on queue, Royce rolled by in one of the few rolling chairs in the already too-crammed lab. A large towel over his face. He’d been on high alert lately due to the natives moving in closer to the building.

“Actually, your father came by one day when you weren’t around. He wanted to discuss how you were doing, your other body.” Hughs’ tired gaze fell on my face, as I sat upward.

“And no one thought to tell me?”

“And dare to poke the Barbie bear?” Royce said, picking the towel off half of his face. “I’d rather get rammed again.”

“He seemed in a bright mood though, he made a joke about damages to your body costing him his hard-earned cash.” Hughs interjected, his tone borderline cautious.

“My father doesn’t joke about money,” I said, taking a sip of Royce’s coffee which was practically mine now. He’d not been watching it so it was fair game.

The room fell silent, and Hughs awkwardly shuffled, his baseball mitt-like hands clapping together.

“Well, Georgia. If it helps I got your medical reports in this morning and you’ve been cleared yet again to go back into your Avatar. We need to increase your trips lest the Na’vi think you’re not contributing.” He laughed, but it was clear there was no humor in his eyes.

The stress of my pseudo-kidnapping seemed to be taking its toll on the entire team. Even Rina got flack from my father on where I could possibly be, leaving her grumpy and me without blankets for the night.

I didn’t know why but when he learned I was close to the ocean, he seemed more tense. I didn’t know what was in the waters but it was enough to make him check in a few times a day.

Even Royce seemed a bit worried, he’d gone out numerous times to find me but came back empty-handed each time. Not even a sign of my scent was in the air as if I’d been completely erased from the land.

“Good to know I’m in tip-top shape to get my ass handed to me in both bodies!” I said, as forcefully chipper as I could.

“You will be fine, you just need to remember to be friendly and try to coexist with them. You are in their territory as of now.” Speaking into his warm mug of coffee, he motions for me to follow him.

My hands nervously brushed down my skirt, ironing away non-existent wrinkles. It was nothing as flashy as I was used to wearing but it was something I agreed to wear for Royce. He said emergency combat would be easier when I didn’t have a tighter skirt straining my movements.

In what felt like only a few seconds we’d made it to the lab filled with all the link units. You could easily tell which pod I frequented. It was the only one with sticky notes on it. Each little slip of paper was covered in various Na’vi words and doodles to match. I tried to trace my name into the link unit using my room key when Rina threatened to suffocate me in my sleep if I ruined a billion-dollar piece of technology.

Laying down in my pod, I feel the uneasy feeling of my heart racing against my ribcage. Being anxious was one of the newer emotions I’d picked up lately along with fear. Watching Dr. Hughs, he carefully links me into the unit, his hands steady as he places the nodes onto my temple. Reaching out instinctively, I grasp the sleeve of his lab coat, my eyes trained on his.

I know it was childish but I couldn’t help but feel terrified.

“Georgia, you’ve done this before.” He whispered, pulling over a rolling chair. “I believe in you and I will be right here with you the whole time.” Patting my hand, he gives it a firm squeeze before prying my hand away.

“You’re just saying that so I don’t chicken out.” Closing my eyes, I see the shift of light through my eyelids, a clear sign that he’d sealed me in here.

“I would never, now just relax and count down, or better yet! Tell me the three laws of Eywa, huh?”

“Fine sure, yeah.” Clearing my throat, I open my eyes staring into the lights above. Already my mind felt as if were being melted down and recast into something different. “You shall not set stone upon stone.” My eyelids drooped and my heartbeat slowed in my chest. “Neither shall you use the turning wheel.” My breathing slowed now, my heartbeat nothing but a faint echo. “Nor use the metals of the ground.” And just like that, I was in my other body.

The Stringer name back on Earth was like some sort of gold medal, platinum if you will. It made you someone, it made you the god who got to enjoy the world and the servant who had to hold the world on its shoulders all in the same instance. Hell, even the bastard children in my family were treated like royalty back on Earth. I had private chefs, nannies, and enough custom clothes to last me more than one lifetime. My name held power, my name held me above others like the stars in the sky they’d never get to reach and that was all because I was lucky enough to be born into that household.

Nonetheless, the Stringer name among the Na’vi was more like a bad omen. Something Demonic, something cruel, murderous, wicked, and just plain filthy. Hughs reluctantly told me that my father did unspeakable things to the Na’vi and that if I told them my name, they’d probably outcast me, Eywa or not. He told me that under his tutelage I was someone new, after all, I wasn’t exactly a Stringer by blood so I could be my own person.

I was free to do what I wanted with my new life, my own life. It made me open my eyes slightly to the Na’vi. Once I no longer saw them as just a bunch of violent strangers, I felt somewhat guilty for how I’d been acting. This was their home and they were only fighting to keep it that way. My blood ran cold knowing some of the things my father did to keep that oh-so-cherished silver spoon in my mouth. That every personal chef, every new nanny, and every piece of precious designer clothing was given to me through bloodshed and irreparable damage. It was horrible, it made me feel horrible. I didn’t know if he was just a terrible person or if my eyes were just opening up to who he’d always been. Shit father and shittier businessman. Even the name he called the Na’vi, blues. It struck too close to home, after all, if we were back on Earth I wonder what he might have called me if I weren’t his daughter.

It made me awake in a thin layer of sweat, my blue skin beginning to clam up from the cool sea breeze that wafted through the Marui. I’d only been gone for a single night yet something seemed different. Not only was I swinging peacefully in Ik’tanhì’s hammock but the marui looked as if it had been rearranged. The floor was no longer covered in bone knives and different tools, even the arrows on the wall were neatly adjusted.

Swinging my legs from the hammock and onto the ground I stretch my numb toes. I swear waking up was hard no matter what body you were in.

Standing up slowly, I go to the corner where a large shell-like bag sits. From what I could see it was filled to the brim nearly with water. In the reflection above it hung what I could only assume were clothes Ik’tanhì got for me. I guess he was tired of waking up beside tatters and rags.

Peeling off my skirt and shirt, I stand there bare and raw, the small cut on my neck not completely healed.

Reaching out to the clothing, I take up the intricate top in my hands, gently twirling it in the early morning light. Pulling it on, I carefully slip into it, scared to ruin the item.

The top was actually quite beautiful. On Earth, it would have cost an arm and a leg as well from his delicate it was. It was made of pink and white string, each made to resemble some sort of coral. The top wrapped around my back, both sides cupping my breasts, but one cup lay under while the other went along the top. As for the bottoms, they looked similar to normal human bikini wear. Decorated in the same colored string which dipped lower in the front to make a V.

Hughs’ words played over in my mind as I did a small spin in the beautiful clothes, a small smile working its way onto my face. My other clothes hung limp in my hand, the other reminder of who I was aside from well, myself. I felt like a child clutching their prized blanket as I carefully tucked the rags into a corner of the Marui.

The calm shifting of the waves was interrupted by the sound of grunting. Peeking over my shoulder, I see Ik’tanhì drenching the floor, his hands wringing sea water from his loincloth. You would have thought I was made of glass from the way he simply looked right through me.

“You are awake.” He said, his eyes glued on me as if he’d just noticed that I was now wearing his native attire.

You would have thought I was wearing the clothes he’d handmade for his Na’vi bride-to-be.

“And I see you’ve been busy,” I said in Na’vi while gesturing toward the changed space.

Taking a few steps toward him, he freezes his own movement but continues to wring out his hair. Knitting my fingers together, I smile and come closer only to watch his face twist into a blender of confusion and annoyance. Clearing my throat, I straighten up and drop the kindness act for a moment.

“Ik’tanhì?” I said, taking another step closer.

When I’d struggled to say his name only days ago he ignored me and left me to sleep on the floor of the Marui. The only reason he let me into the hammock was because I began to pace, disrupting his precious silence. We weren’t cuddle buddies or anything like that. We slept back to back with enough space for a saint to come in between us.

Yet, this time it was different. His ears perked up as if he were surprised that I’d perfected saying his name.

“Will you take me to the water?” I cooed, batting my lashes at him. My hands slipped onto his own where they were fisted at his waist.

Taking my hands into his own, he fingers through my five different fingers, each brush gentle and curious. Leaning down so he was face to face with me, he smiled and shrugged.

“No. Your hands are as soft as sprouting a’o.” He answered back in Na’vi this time as if he were testing me. “You will hurt yourself.”

Dropping my hands, he glides past me and takes a seat on his favorite little woven stool, his hands expertly shifting through the bone knives on his chest.

A’o, he said a’o. What the fuck was that. I would need to look that up when I was in my other body, it was pretty clear through that it was nothing tough. The sad thing was that he wasn’t wrong. My hands didn’t have any signs of labor or work, but I’d just gotten my body not too long ago so that much was expected. Yet, my human hands would have been the exact same.

Approaching him again, I squat down in front of him and frown. Reaching upward to one of his bone knives, I gently run my fingers across the dull side of the blade. More tools crafted from amber and animal teeth.

“You said if I learn how to say your name you would let me sleep in the hammock with you. I’ve done more than that, I learned so much more, just for you. To please you, to get to know you better. Please, I just don’t want to be a burden.” Touching the tip of the blade, I wince and he grasps my hand, inspecting it as if I were a child.

“You are like a baby. Just born, ears still wet.” He responded in English as if to make it more clear for me. “You will cause more trouble than you are worth. If you come to harm the Tsahìk will punish me. For all I know, you can not even swim.”

“I can swim, actually. We have oceans on my planet, I’m not some untrained beast.” Raising my voice, I try to simmer down only to have him chuckle. “Who needs your permission anyway, I am an adult.”

Pulling away from him, I stomp toward the Marui entrance only to have him swiftly block me, his arms stretching out to block my exit.

“Stop being a douchebag!” I yell in English, my foot pressing down onto his hard enough to cause him to wince.

“Fine, you wish to go into the water? Be my guest, Hi’i’eltu.” He jeered, moving his arm down so I could move past him.

I wish I were stronger so I could have thrown him out of my way. It was a simple dream but a dream nonetheless. Knowing my luck he would easily beat me in that contest of strength. My na’vi body could easily subdue my human body but I had no chance against Ik’tanhì. His body looked like something straight out of a swimsuit ad. He looked quite toned, like he’d been active for years. If he were human there was no doubt he’d be the golden boy of some high-class agency. I hated to admit it but the fucker was beautiful. Yet with a personality like his, he’d be better off kicking puppies or stealing candy from babies.

“Actually, let me assist you. After all, you do wish to join me in the waters.” Smirked, his pearly white canines glinting in the soft sunlight.

“Thank you, that is all I ask.” Rolling my eyes, I brush past him for a brief moment only to feel the mesh netting vanish from under my feet.

Being held up in his arms, he gives me a reassuring smile. I knew it was a bit egotistical but I could tell he was starting to have some inklings of feelings toward me. After all, he went through all the hard work of fetching these clothes for me.

“See, this is how you treat a lady properly.”

In a sudden shift of his arms, I saw the world turn upside down. Ik’tanhì’s hands gently squeezed the back of my legs to hold me still as he held me on his shoulder. I felt like the world’s prettiest sack of potatoes.

“Put me down you buffoon, now!” Roaring, I thrash about in his arms. Feeling my tail lash across his face, he grasps the end curling the soft fur tip between his fingers.

“No, you wish to go to the water. It would be wrong of me to deny you. Is this not how a lady should be treated? My small Na’vi mind does not know how to do these things so you must teach me.” He cooed back at me, mocking my accent the best way he could.

I didn’t know if it was his snickering or my heart but I felt my cheeks flood with warmth. This lunatic was crazy, he was going to drown me.

What made everything ten times worse was the fact that he was now parading me through the village, like a warrior bringing home his choice cut of meat. I could hear faint whispers from the clan, some of them laughing while others mumbled about me being too lazy to talk here on my own. That I was forcing their poor sweet Ik’tanhì to do the task. I wish I could have linked into an emu and buried my head deep in the sand. Anything to stop this strange feeling.

It was so odd, to feel like an outsider in my own body. I wonder if this is how others felt back on Earth when I treated them as lesser beings. Something to get a cheap laugh out of my friends and the people that worshipped me.

Feeling Ik’tanhì come to a half, he stops at the edge of the netting.

“Wait! Wait!” I cry out, grasping his tail. “I don’t want to go into the water, I change my mind.”

Being hoisted upward into his arms, he sets me down on the net, my feet dangling halfway over the water. Feeling his hands settle onto my shoulders, he tips me backward and I grasp at the air as I fall backward into the water, my scream drowned out by the sound of water filling my mouth and lungs. Watching the world blur for a moment, I steady myself and push upward, kicking through the water until I reach the surface.

Coughing up the cold salty water, I pant and wipe the droplets from my face, my body trembling with fear. No, not fear. Anger. I didn’t know what it was but Eywa blessed Ik’tanhì by putting some space in between us.

“It looks like you can swim, Hi’i’eltu. For a moment I worried I would have to save you.” He spoke through his laughter, squatting down to extend a hand toward me.

“Go fuck yourself.” Flipping him off, I watch him cock his head to the side in confusion.

Swimming toward the edge of the net, I pull myself upward, adjusting my now disheveled bra thing he’d left behind for me. I felt weird, like those babies in baptism videos who were dunked around like a crispy nugget in some sauce.

Taking a seat beside him, I begin to wring my hair dry, flipping it over my shoulder and into his face.

“Aww, did I happen to upset you, Hi’i’eltu? I could come in with you next time if it pleases you.” He would reach out, gently brushing my sopping wet hair from my shoulder, only to be met with a slap of his hand.

“Stop it, asshole.” Pushing him away, I reach around holding my tail in my hand.

I hated that my eyes felt warm, I hated the tears that began to fall down my cheeks even more.

Seeing the tears on my face, he huffs and reaches out to brush them away, only to have me push him again.

“Why are you stopping me, Hi’i’eltu?” He tried again, but this time I was quicker. Shoving him forward into the water, I stand up and hiss at him.

“Stop calling me that. I’m not an idiot, or a small brain, or whatever else you think I am. I have a name you haven’t even tried to learn yet you want me to jump through hoops and hurdles to please you. You are no better than a human.” Turning down the net walkway, I head back toward the Marui, only to hear the net creaking behind me.

“Wait, please.” He said, taking my wrist in his hand. “I did not know I would upset you-”

Wrenching my hand away, I turn around and shove him backward again, his body tumbling back onto the nets.

“My name is Georgia and right now, I don’t want you to touch me. Just leave me alone.” My tail lashed wildly behind me as I gripped my fists.

His ears raised in confusion, as she stood before me, giving me a few feet of space.

“Keork’a?” He asked, struggling to pronounce the G in my name.

“Georgia.” I fume, not caring for his games. “I know y’all don’t have a g, do you? I will allow you to say Keork’a, you asshole.”

As I stared him down I couldn’t help but feel horrible that I’d finally lose my temper. My skirt and top felt like an uncomfortable second skin and I could feel Ik’tanhì just staring through me again. The silence felt louder as we gazed at one another, his eyes not leaving my own.

I nearly asked him what until I heard the sound of a group of Na’vi coming closer, their laughs filling the air nearby.

“Stay.” Was all he said as he turned around, leaving me on my own to converse with the other Na’vi.

When the group looked toward us, I took a step back. I felt weird like they were undressing me with their eyes but not in a sexy way, more of a phony way. I knew that they were simply curious as to sus out the newcomer but it just made me feel strange. It was obvious they’d been asking if I was pregnant or not from the way one of their eyes widened in shock when they looked toward my chest. Turning my back toward the little crowd, I move off into the village, quickly weaving my way past and through various maruis.

“Mother look!” One of the children in front of me called out, their little body hanging over the edge of the net. Their hands grasped at a small fish, their little body slipping as they fell head-first into the water.

Moving forward, I grasp the child, pulling them from the water only to feel a strong arm shove me away, the child practically pried from my hands.

“Do not touch my child, demon!” Hissed a rather tall female Na’vi, her teeth bared as if she were ready to rip my neck from my body.

“I’m sorry, I just thought-”

“You sky people never think, you only do without asking. My child does not need you to touch them, nor do they need your help. Did your mother never teach you that?” She walked away, leaving me flat on my ass.

That is when it happened when I felt something strange, something weird and hot and strange. Like my eyes were blinking faster than I wanted them to. My heart was racing even faster than my lungs could keep up. I wanted to vomit but I had nothing in my stomach. Standing up, I hastily head for Ik’tanhì’s Marui, my face hidden behind my hair.

I didn’t need to look around to see that every set of eyes I went past was glued to me. For such an open space I felt like I was suffocating. Rounding the corner, I stop just short of a mother who sat with her daughter, weaving small shells and pearls into her hair. When she caught me looking she’d pulled her child closer to her. Both of their happy sweet smiles wiped from their face at the sight of me. I wanted to apologize but the words couldn’t form in my mouth. I felt as if I’d swallowed thick raw honey and I couldn’t choke it down.

My palms grew slick, rubbing down the sides of my thighs, unable to catch onto any sign of cloth. I felt clammy, and uncomfortable at best. Panting with each drawn-out breath, I move past the pair and only stop when I come to the Marui. Tripping over the entryway, I reach up to my chest and pry the top off of me, throwing it across the ground. It was choking me, I couldn’t breathe.

“Get off me, please just get the hell off of me.” Watching the pearls spill across the ground, I race toward the corner where my old worn clothes are.

Worming my way into them, I throw off the bottom he’d left for me as well. The slight discomfort of cotton against this skin felt somewhat homey. I wanted to go home, I needed to go home.

Shit, I didn’t want this in the first place. I didn’t want to be an outcast, I never signed up to be a goddamn outcast. I wanted a vacation, I wanted to see my father, and I wanted an escape from my mother’s downward spiral. Not to be put through this hell. They didn’t even have the courtesy to just put an arrow through my head because of some Eywa. Well, fuck her too because I couldn’t take it anymore. They could have back their space, they could take their language and customs and shove it for all I cared.

“Fuck.” I said, pushing my hair from my face. “Just fuck all of this. Eywa made a mistake or something.” I whispered to myself, exiting the Marui faster than I’d entered. At least this time I didn’t make an ass of myself by tripping or being carried out.

I’d not noticed it much until I pressed through the tree line but my cheeks were drenched. My eyes blurred from the hot slurry of tears which pooled on my lashes. I didn’t even try to look behind me to see if anyone would come. They didn’t care for me and neither did I.

I was unsure about how long I’d been walking through the dense jungle but one thing was clear, it had been long enough for the day to melt into the night. All my tears were cried out and I was just left a hiccupping mess.

The plants around me began to glow in soft hues of violet and green, the world seemingly pulsing with life. It felt as if the plants acknowledged me too, their thick leaves bending down to gently brush atop my head. You’d think I would have brought a machete the way the flora parted for me. Instead, they simply shrunk away when touched, aside from this one mushroom-looking plant that puffed up and gave me a scare.

Pandora really was like Eden with a touch of hell mixed in. Beautiful, dangerous, and confusing. I was pretty sure I’d seen the same towering tree three times by now. I didn’t know where I was headed, all I know is that I could feel it somehow. Like the hum in my mind was somewhere out there, pulsing through the ground. For all I knew it was some sort of tracking device Hughs shoved up my ass before I was reborn.

Reaching out to a branch above me, I watch it come to life. Flinching away, small bioluminescent lizards begin floating into the air, their wings glowing a warm shade of pink and orange. Reaching out for the creatures, I place my hand under them and they glide back into the air. Following the lizards, I bump into one plant and the fronds retract, their tips lighting up a vivid pink shade. It reminded me of a toad swelling its neck as the underside of the planet extended.

Looking to the side, I see the same small airy sprites from the day I arrived. Moving forward to touch the small creatures, I pause looking at the area in front of me. It was beyond beautiful, like something you could only see in your dreams.

Above my head sat curved thick rocky arches, some of them broken into floating fragments like a cracked ribcage. Beneath it sat a large tree, its glowing weeping willow-like leaves bright indigo and violet in hue. Even the ground glowed, like small neural pathways that wove throughout the ground. The small dots on my body seemed to glow brighter as I took a step closer, my bare feet sinking into the soft soil. Continuing my trek toward the tree, I reach out to brush a hand along the side when a large blue hand clamps down on my arm, stopping me.

Turning around, I see Ik’tanhì who looks beyond annoyed. In fact, he looked utterly pissed. His pupils were like two large balls of obsidian, and his chest rose and fell like he’d just run all the way here.

Pulling me away from the tree, he holds me in place, stooping down to my level to speak to me.

“Why did you go? I told you to stay, Keork’a.” He pulled me toward him as if the foot of space between us needed to be even shorter. So he could scold me face-to-face like a child.

“I turned around for a moment and you were gone. I looked everywhere for you, do you know that? I came to the Marui and I couldn’t find you, just remains of your clothes.”

“I left, who cares,” I said, trying to pull away from him.

“I care. What if you got hurt, do you know how far you are away from the village?” The anger on his face twisted into something else under the illumination of the willow tree. Worry.

It made me notice that he actually had no eyebrows, just two stripes that resembled them and a small faint scar running through it.

I felt bad for a moment, until the memory of how I’d been treated resurfaced. Shoving him off of me, I cross my arms and continue my walk around the tree, darting from his grasp as he follows me.

“I would have been just fine on my own. You of all people shouldn’t care. No one in that clan of yours cares at all for what happens to me.” I said, not even looking at him. “I never said I wanted to join your people in the first place. You’re the one who took me, you did it! I came here to see my father and even he is too damn busy to care for me. Not even my own mother cares for me and now I’m forced to be here and I’m treated like waste. Like a burden. I have no family, I have no reason to exist, I am nothing, and even now, you won’t let me be nothing in peace.”

Taking a seat at the base of the tree, I run my fingers through the grass, the tips causing the skin on my hand to tingle. Sitting there in silence, I watch Ik’tanhì approach and I prepare to move when he simply sits beside me, his hands resting in his lap. Staring out into the jungle beside me, he looks to the side and I avert my gaze, trying my best to hide the tears falling down my cheeks again. Here he was just trying to search for me and there I went, trauma dumping on him.

“I know this feeling. Like are you nothing? I have no family either, at least not anymore.” He began to fidget with the leather bracelet around his wrist, his gaze lost among the sky and the stars.

I’d been so lost in my own issues that I didn’t take the time to consider his own.

“I didn’t know that, I’m sorry.” I croaked out, my eyes welling again with tears.

“How could you have known? You were not there and I was only a child when the sky people came to my village. They slew my pregnant mother and when my father tried to protect the people, they slaughtered him next. There was not much I could do at the time but fight back. I fought until my blue skin ran red with the blood of my enemies. I wanted to do more but I could not under the command of my village elders. They forced me to flee and go to the Katotxampay.” His eyes closed shut, his hand tracing a small symbol into the dirt between us.

“I was so angry, I still am. I hate the sky people, I hate the metal wheels. I hate the way they destroy everything beautiful. I am a man but I still use that anger to guide me, just like you should use your sadness to guide you. One day, we will not need them anymore.” Feeling his finger brush at my cheeks to wipe away the tears, he lets out a drawn-out sigh.

“What?” I said, knowing I probably looked like an idiot throwing a tantrum.

“I thought you were just a childish woman. I was wrong, Keork’a. You are a crybaby.” He snickered, smearing some dirt across my cheek.

“And for a second, I thought you were being kind,” I said, grabbing a handful of dirt and dried leaves, and smearing it down his thigh.

“You did not let me finish, Keork’a. You may be a crybaby but you are no pushover and I like that. You could have sat in the marui and let me speak down on you but you stood up for yourself. Not every warrior needs a blade to show their bravery. You only need a piece of coral.” He teased, smearing a glob of mud across my skirt.

“Hey! I didn’t want to die and I didn’t have much to defend myself.” Nudging him to the side, I try to wipe the mud out of the cashmere.

“It was quite funny. I remember thinking, this little thing has the will to fight?” Picking up my hand, he gives it a squeeze and smiles. “Show me that you still have that will.” For the first time since I’d met him, his voice softened into something that wasn’t pity.

I felt like he wasn’t just trying to please me or just seeing some spoiled child. I felt seen for the first time, like straight to my rotten core.

Wiping the last of my tears from my face with his dirty hands, he stands and pulls me to my feet.

“For someone so, you, you’re quite good at comforting others. Thank you, man, who makes me cry.” I mock him, somewhat and he smiles, genuinely.

It was such a strange sight, that it made the sadness in the pit of my stomach blossom into something new, something I couldn’t name either. I just knew it made me feel lighter.

“I am good at everything I do, you are just too busy crying to see. You were so busy that you nearly disrupted the Utral Aymokriyä.” His hand brushed across the glowing trunk beside us.

“What is the tree of voices?” I asked, my hand reaching out to touch the trunk. The constant hum softened into what I could only describe as a silent melody.

“It is where we hear the voices of those before us, our ancestors. Eywa guides us but we must know what we wish to see. Watch.” Slipping his hand behind his head, he takes up his kuru and holds it out for me to see.

Watching the fur on the end split open, it reveals small violet-pink tendrils. Reaching behind my own head, I hold out my kuru to his, my own violet-pink tendrils flaring to life. Watching the ends of our kurus reach out for one another, he retracts, his nose shriveling up.

“I thought we were gonna do some E.T. level shit there,” I whispered, only for him to shoot me a confused look.

“I do not know what an E.T. level shit is but that is not for us. You are to connect to the tree.” He said this, taking one of the tree’s vines and connecting it to his own.

Taking a vine of my own, I connect my kuru to the tree and feel a sudden flash of everything. It was like I could see everything in my mind like time itself was downloading into my thoughts. A sea of voices and memories all chimed in at once. I could feel the roots within the planet, I could feel Pandora. It felt as if for once I wasn’t alone but connected to someone greater. Watching Ik’tanhì take my hand in his own, I smile and give it a firm squeeze. Deep in the back of my mind, I could feel two familiar yet unknown voices pushing forward into my head. My parents? No, his parents.

I could see their faces, see that Ik’tanhì had his father’s nose and his mother’s eyes. That he was the perfect blend of a beautiful couple.

“I can hear them, I can hear everything. It’s unreal.” I said, feeling my mind mingling with that sweet hum again. Before I could delve further, I disconnected myself from the tree.

Ik’tanhì lingered for a second longer as if he were experiencing something I’d never seen before disconnecting himself.

“I understand what you mean now, I see.” Reaching out, I touch the tree once more causing small moth-like creatures to flutter down toward us both.

Their indigo color reminded me of the small fish I’d seen before. It was her, it was Eywa.

Giving Ik’tanhì a happy grin, I feel him give my hand another squeeze. Pulling my grasp him his, I clear my throat and place my hands on my hips.

“Do you understand? Are you sure?” He asked, smearing one last streak of dirt across my cheek.

“I’m willing to learn!” I practically shouted, smearing a handful of dirt down his own cheek. “I mean it this time.”

“Good, because if this talk went differently, I might have had to get Tetsa to scare you back to the village.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 9

Something was wrong and I had a terrible feeling I was the reason.

I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, my hands tracing down the side of my body. Feeling what felt like my body at least. My human body was not doing so hot at all these past days. I felt like a shell of a woman when I transferred back, like an egg that scrambled itself from the inside out. The last few days I was bedridden. It resulted in the doctors complaining that I needed more than fruit to sustain myself, especially with going in and out of the link units.

Good job, Georgia. Of course, you’d develop the first Pandoran eating disorder. I didn’t even notice I’d been doing it until the damage had run its course on my body. Skipping meals, nibbling on fruit, and sharing my portions with Rina and Royce. It was like the first push of a domino that sent my body toppling down. It was something so small, something I’d done back home on Earth. I was usually in and out of the hospital so I got everything I needed from IVs and the occasional meal. Yet here I was too good for the food everyone else had to choke down and now, it finally came back to bite me in the ass.

When Rina found me slumped over in the bathroom shower she panicked. When Royce had to carry me to the med bay, he was even worse. What I didn’t expect was for Hughs to practically rip me a new one. It was the first time in my life that I’d been properly scolded by an adult and actually felt terrified. They’d all left me to rest aside from Royce who drew out, what he liked to call, a healthy eating pyramid. He said the real food pyramid was food company bullshit.

Even my hair which was my pride and joy felt less shiny and full of life. It was like I’d been so consumed in everything else that I failed to care for myself.

“I went looking through your stuff and found this.” Royce walked backward through the door, in between his teeth a brown paper bag, while his hands held what looked like a warm cup of coffee and some clothes.

“No princess today?” I questioned, taking the clothes from his hand as he passed them off.

“Today you’re Georgia.” He huffed, placing down the cup of coffee. “You can be a princess when you listen to your doctors.”

Nodding silently, I look down at the tracksuit he’d brought for me. It was bright pink with white fur lining the cuffs of the sleeves and neck. On the backside, the letters GMS were bedazzled in bright blue stones.

“Did you have to find the tackiest thing I owned? I think my mom got this for me while she was drunk.” Slipping from the bed the med bay bed, I motion for Royce to turn around and he does so.

Quickly changing into the tracksuit, I sigh and slip back into the bed, pulling the thin blue blankets over my body.

“I thought it looked pretty cute.” Grabbing the cup of coffee, Royce pops the top off and hands it over. “Now move on some.”

Sitting up in the bed, I scoot over and Royce hops in, cozying up beside me.

“Are you going to give me an earful too? Hughs ripped me a second asshole.” I said, looking down into the coffee cup, only to see what looked like soup.

“I give you an earful? Nah.” He unrolled the paper bag beside us, taking out a spoon. “If you don’t eat this, Rina might though. She had to practically beg the cafeteria to let her make you this. Do you know how hard it is to get them to give up a little bit of rice?”

Taking the spoon, I stir around the rice porridge before taking small sips. It didn’t taste of much but the rice itself but it was enough for me. The texture actually reminded me of velvet from how soft it was.

“Well, it’s delicious. Can you tell her I said thank you?” Gathering another spoonful, I devour it only to feel Royce shift again beside me.

“You can tell her yourself.”

“I don’t want to get out of bed today.” I quickly responded.

“You need to move your body around.” He countered.

“You know my dad didn’t even come in to check up on me? I know he’s busy but I’ve been bedridden for two days and the best he could do for me was nothing. I could understand if I was on another planet but now I’m only a walk away.” My eyes stung and I could feel a lump forming in my throat.

“Well, let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. Your dad sucks Georgia. He reminds me of this Polar bear special I saw on the Discovery channel once. They’re all high and mighty but when it comes to survival they will sorta just devour their kids. Don’t let him devour you.”

Leaning my head to the side, I rest it on his arm and finish off the last of my porridge.

“There are things I don’t think even I can avoid, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

“And the first step to that is getting your butt up and out of this bed.” He said, resting his head on top of my own.

“Fine, but can I at least get a piggyback ride there?” Slipping out of the bed, I step into my pair of pink slippers.

“Anything for you, Georgia.” Coming around to the side of the bed, he kneels down and I move onto his back.

“Are you letting your hair grow out, golden boy?” I said, as he locked his arms his arms under my knees with ease.

“Oh, you noticed? I don’t really have much time these days. When I’m not with you I’m training my squad and they’re a handful but, they’re trying their best.” He set out toward the labs, his pace faster than if I’d been walking with him.

“You should let me train with you all sometime. Anything so I don’t need to sit cooped up in Hughs's lab as he teaches me about different alien feces.” I grumbled, placing my head on his shoulder.

“I don’t think you’d like being around a bunch of touch-starved young men and women, Georgia. We’ve had to confiscate at least two bins of contraband, things you don’t want to find out about.” He seemed to shiver, as he turned through the next hall.

“Try going to an all-girls school for a year. You should have seen what we were all dating back then. Most of the guys we picked up looked like they snuck onto Earth.”

Coming up to a new set of metal doors I’d not seen, Royce pushes it open and we step outside into what I could only assume was some sort of plastic dome. It was large, with enough space to probably fit about twenty people or say.

The ground was littered with small plants, all native to pandora. And in the center of the dome sat a large machine of some sort, its thick green blades rotating constantly. The closer I got, the clearer the air felt. Like it was no longer paper thin and suffocating.

“You like it?” Rina said, coming from behind the machine. Her pin-straight hair was held up in a small bun to keep her cool. Even her usual crisp white lab coat was hung on the arm of a chair.

“What is this? Like an air purifier?” I guessed, taking a few steps closer.

Rina laughed, slipping her thin rounded glasses up her perfect nose.

“This isn’t just some air purifier Georgia, this is one of the things I’ve finally managed to invent, with your little trip funding it of course.” She came forward, brushing small droplets of sweat from her forehead.

“This is like an exopack but on a much larger scale. Instead of relying mainly on metals, it relies on plant life! There is this one plant here in the jungle, in English we could call it the Shao plant. When it dies you can use its leaves sort of like a makeshift filter. I won’t get into the details of it all but it makes it so humans like us can breathe without the need for an exopack. I’ve only managed to make this small one for now but it’s nice, right? Even the bubble we’re in is made of a special algae.” Rina happily babbled on, her cheeks turning rosy pink as she spoke.

Taking a small walk under the algae bubble, my nose wrinkles when the smell finally hits me. It was something I guess I’d just have to adjust to.

“This is really beautiful Rina, and thank you for the food too.” Taking a seat at a woven table, I trace my fingers over the two names sewn into the table. Rina and Laysru

The name didn’t ring a bell from anyone I knew in the village so it must have been a different clan of Na’vi.

Letting out a low groan, Royce takes a seat across from me, his eyes narrowed on the tablet in his hands.

“What’s got you in a sour mood?” I said, trying to peek at the screen.

“Don’t you know?” Said Rina, rounding the table with two tablets in her hands. “It’s mail day. Every week we get days where we mail from Earth. It’s damn expensive though.”

Sitting up in my seat, I grip the arms of my chair in utter shock.

“Mail? Like mail from home? Like I can talk to my mother?”

“Well, kind of. We can only get three bits of information here per hour, and each bit is about 7,500 dollars. So-”

“I can talk to my mother?” I said again, my heart beginning to race.

“Georgia, just saying Hi to your mother would cost you 120 grand,” Rina interjected, her hands sliding me a tablet.

“Yeah, kinda blows when you’re not rich. I sent my dad the words Hi pops and blew through my retirement funds.” Royce laughed, rubbing his knuckles. “He can’t really respond properly so I get sent these automated messages of just ‘your father is fine, have a nice day’. It’s a lot cheaper than anything personal but it’s what I get.”

“It is better than having your fiancé sending you messages about future children's names.” Rina groaned, pushing her own tablet away. “You got one too Georgia, from someone named Magnolia.”

My blood ran cold at the thought of what my mother could have sent me. We hadn’t exactly parted on the best terms and the fact that she sent me a letter meant nothing good.

Nudging the tablet away, I look up toward Rina and hold her gaze for a moment, before swallowing down my nerves.

“So, I heard you wanted to know more about the Na’vi I’ve been with. I can keep it short and simple if you like,” Sitting up in the woven seat I was in, I wipe a few beads of sweat from my brow.

The warmth of the bubble was finally getting to me, I guess.

“They kinda seem to hate my guts but not in a murderous way. More like I’m the clan pariah. I saved one woman’s baby from drowning and she pushed me on my ass.” Laughing, I push my hair away from my face.

“Well, you are an outsider at the end of the day.” Rina crossed her legs, running her fingers across the woven table.

“I know, I know. I had this talk with myself and the other Na’vi about like twenty times. Still fucking sucks. The only bright side is that one of them is warming up to me. He showed me stuff I had never seen before, it was strange but so beautiful.” Undoing the front zipper of my tracksuit, I fan my chest with my hand.

“Strange?” Rina asked, sitting closer.

“Yeah, he showed me how to use my kuru.” Reaching behind my head, I halt, placing my hand back down. It was so strange, the phantom feeling of having a body part be there then just, gone.

“I understand,” Rina said, now smiling from ear to ear. “When I first came here, before this division of the RDA even existed,” she paused, a hand resting over her heart. “There was this beautiful, just enormous clan, well a part of the clan. They had the most beautiful culture. They wore armor fashioned from shells too. Everything about their people was interesting. Even though they were warriors they were quiet, like whispers on the wind.”

Reaching behind the chair she sat in, she fished a small yet thick booklet from her bag. Cracking the booklet open, she begins flipping through the pages, each one filled with sketches of flora and small dried samples. Sliding the book forward, she opens it up to a picture of her Avatar looking somewhat younger. Her hair was cropped shorter, near her ears in a blunt bob. Her face though was framed by small braids, each end being woven in silver hue colored beads.

“You said there was a clan here? What happened?” I stopped her hand from flipping through the pages, landing her on one image in particular.

There Rina was again, however, this time she stood beside three smiling Na’vi children. One boy and two girls. Each child had swirls and whorls painted on their faces and bodies in vibrant shades of yellows and reds. It was so strange seeing the four of them together, especially because they didn’t look that much younger than Rina.

Her smile fell, her hands clasping the booklet shut.

“The RDA needed room for the oceanic division. They didn’t have the funding or the space, so your father suggested,” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “They said that the village sat on an ungodly amount of unobtanium. Your father ordered the militia to go in and speak to the Na’vi, to try and ask them to move. The Na’vi said no and things got heated. No one knows who threw the first blow but things got nasty fast, there was death on both ends. I tried to help put an end to things, I tried to suggest going someplace else but I was just a child then, and no one listened. Your father ordered for the Na’vi to be removed, with force. I was placed on house arrest for obstruction. If it wasn’t for my fiancé I might have been back on Earth by now, filing paperwork. Also, you can’t quite do biology studies without one of your head biologists.” Rina laughed coldly, her smile not reaching her eyes.

My father? He was the reason so many were displaced, the reason so much blood had been shed. I knew he was wicked but I didn’t think he was genocidal. Feeling my lunch rise in my stomach, I grip my shirt, forcing myself to swallow it down.

“My father, he’s a real asshole. He’s worst than an asshole.” I piped up, reaching out to give Rina a pat on the back.

In a sudden roar, my father’s voice boomed across the loudspeaker. He didn’t sound angry, just annoyed as he sighed and called for me to come willingly to his office.

“Willingly?” I asked, watching two guards I’d never seen before barge into the algae bubble.

All too quickly they both grasped my arm, yanking me to a full stand. Being hoisted onto my feet, I try to pull away when they straighten me out.

In a sudden shift, Royce had grabbed one of them by the arm, his face the most serious I’d seen it.

“Let’s try to be gentler with the heiress, alright? Her dad called her in, he didn’t say to break her legs in the process.” His tone was deeper, more menacing as he spoke.

“Orders are order, Lieutenant.” The person spat.

“Orders will be harder to take if both your hands are broken.” Royce smiled and they both released me, straightening upward.

Taking a few steps toward him, I link our arms together and we walk off with the two idiots in tow. After a few quiet minutes we made it to my father’s office, which was wide open, two guards sat on either side of a single chair.

“Do you want me to come inside?” Royce whispered, slipping his arm from my own.

“No, it’s fine. Please wait here.” I panted, trying to steady my breathing.

I felt like shit coming here. I was out of breath and sweaty from what felt like head to toe. Even the shirt I wore under my tracksuit was crumpled to no end.

Stepping into my father’s office, the door slides shut behind me with a large metal thunk. Sitting beside the two guards, I clear my throat and watch my father’s smile fall when he looks up to see my face.

“Georgia, dear. Shouldn’t you make yourself look more, presentable?” He chuckled, and reached into his desk, pulling out a thick packet of papers.

“Father dearest, shouldn’t you try to call me here without needing two overpaid assholes to drag me here.” Catching my breath still, I grasp his desk as he slides the set of papers toward me.

“Well try not to enter my office wearing something that says blowjob queen. Is this how your mother was letting you dress in my absence?”

“You called me across the damn planet for fashion advice? I think you should have asked your wife, who does that for a living.” Smirking, I release my grasp on his desk, knocking over the crystal ashtray he’d been using. “If you want me to come here, the least you can do is not fucking smoke. You know how weak my lungs are and yet you drag me around like I’m a doll.”

“You see that? I like that you speak your mind. You’re mine through and through, only if you carried yourself in that same fashion.” Kneeling down, he picks up his ashtray, blowing the remains out into a small trash bin by his foot. “You do shit like this and it makes me worry. I’m only getting older Georgia. I need to make sure you’re taken care of later down the line.”

“I can take care of myself. We have more than enough money.” I felt sick just saying that, using his same old excuses on himself.

“I want someone else to take care of you too. Those men I told you to look through, they can do that. One of them has said yes to a proposal and his father practically invented cybernetics.” He clasped his hands together, leaning back in his chair to turn and face the thick window behind him.

“I said I would look through them. You can’t decide who I’ll marry, you can’t cherry-pick my life for me.” Shoving the papers away, one of the guards grasps my wrist while the other shoves a pen into it.

“I already gave him my blessing, he is your fiancé. You just need to sign the damn papers to set it in stone.” He huffed as if he were a parent scolding his unruly child.

“You can’t make him do this.” Dropping the pen, it’s forced back into my hand as the guard squeezes down tighter, causing me to wince.

“Well shit Georgia, I’m doing this for you. You’re sick, you’re weak, you’re like a goddamn minnow in my shark tank. The moment I can’t protect you anymore, someone will swallow you whole and everything we’ve worked for.” His calm demeanor melted away, his fist slamming down into his desk, sending the pen rolling onto the ground. “You don’t even have to love the boy to marry him. Give him a couple of kids and you’re good to do whatever you want. You can find love in your spare time.” He reached down into his desk, pulling a cigar. “Is it that Royce boy making you act all jittery?”

“You think I don’t want to be forced to marry a stranger because of Royce? He is just a friend. I don’t need to marry someone, I can survive on my own, and if my heart gives out while I do so, at least it was on my accord.” I yank my arms free from the guards, rubbing at my wrists. “I want real love, not just because I’m a Stringer.”

“Love? Georgia I’m doing this because I loved your mother. The woman I loved died with you in her arms. You hadn’t even smiled at her yet and she died, holding you. You would have been my child regardless of love and as my child, you will do as I say. This isn’t me giving you options, this is me giving you a heads-up. The real world isn’t fucking some no-name Lieutenant, so wake the hell up.” He shouted, producing a new pen from his desk.

“And what if I don’t sign the papers? Are you going to force me? Send me home, I don’t give a flying fuck.”

Watching him chuckle, he snaps towards one of the guards and they release me, only for the other to hold both my arms steady. Watching the guard beside me pull a gun from their belt, they point it toward the door.

“If you have something distracting you, I can clear that up right now. Austin.” He motioned for the guard, who placed their finger on the trigger.

“Wait!” I said, trying to break free from the guard’s arms. “Please, don’t hurt him. He’s just my friend. I’ll sign the fucking papers.” Feeling tears race down my cheeks in hot streaks, I turn my body toward my father.

My father’s gaze fell on mine and for a second I could swear his eyes softened. With a wave of his hands, the guards released me and the gun had been put away.

“When that boy gets here, you will sign the marriage documents and then you will go home with me. I can’t come to the wedding of course but maybe by the time you visit again, you’ll bring my grandchild with you.” He grinned, digging his cigar into his desk, the small golden circle igniting the tip.

“I’ll do as you say, I promise.”

“Oh, I know you will, because if you don’t well…” He made a finger gun with his hand, knocking over a small golden statue of himself, his mouth saying a silent pew.

“Can I go now, Father?” I croaked out, wiping my face with my sleeve.

“Of course Pumpkin. Anything my baby girl wants.”

“What the hell did he say to you!” Royce said, his hands holding back my hair as I let up everything I’d eaten into the toilet.

The moment I’d stepped out of his office, I’d practically run to my room. Every orifice on my face felt like an exit for snot, tears, and food. Grabbing a tissue I wipe away at everything, looking up toward Royce.

“I can’t, I can’t tell you. I don’t want you to worry.” Is all I could say as I scrambled onto my feet, washing my face and mouth clean.

“It’s hard not to worry about you when you’re hacking everything up all over the place.” He fussed, still holding my hair in his hands.

“Me telling you won’t do any good. Just please, promise me you won’t leave this room tonight. I don’t want Rina and I to be alone, I don’t want to be alone.” Turning around, I grip his hand, the slight bruises on my wrist more apparent now.

Royce seemed to hesitate before sighing. Nodding into the palm of his hand, he smiles and reaches down to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

“We can stay up too if you want. I won’t let them hurt you.” He said, escorting me out of the bathroom and into Rina and I’s shared room.

I wanted to say I wouldn’t let them hurt him, but I knew not to make promises I couldn’t keep.

Practically slamming the door open, Rina barges into the room, throwing off her things.

“Georgia, all offense when I say this but your father is a dick head,” Rina growled, sitting atop the blankets.

“I couldn’t agree with you more.” Moving toward Rina, I slip into bed beside her, only for Royce to follow, sandwiching me between the two of them. “What did he do to piss you off?” I said, in between sniffles.

“He said he wants to cut the funding to my research for our failure to locate your body. He wants to send in the militia.” Shaking her head in disbelief, she laughs and rests her elbows on her knees.

“But that’s not your fault. He can’t rush science and we’re trying our best.”

“He said to hell with our best, I said the same thing with him. Hughs is there trying to speak some sense into that insolent man.” Her tone softened as she spoke, before reaching out to brush a few strands of hair from my face. “And what about you?”

“Just him forcing me to marry some unknown asshole,” I told half the truth, feeling horrid for having lied.

“Can’t you just say no? What’s the worst thing he can do, ground you?” Royce joked, kicking his shoes off to the side of the bed.

“Put those by the door, don’t be a pig.” Rina snapped, causing the two to go back and forth about proper manners.

Looking between the both of them, I smile and relax, placing my hands in my lap. It was weird to think not too long ago I found both of them annoying, Royce for understandable reasons. Now I couldn’t feel the same without them being around.

“Oh, and Georgia. You left this behind.” Rina perked up, reaching down into a bag beside the bed to pull out my mail tablet.

Flipping the tablet over in my hands I inhale and exhale trying to calm myself.

“Six years, I wonder…” I said more to myself than anyone else.

Was she doing okay without me? Was she well-fed? Was she happy? Did she remember the moles on my skin or the sound of my voice?

“Just do it, Georgia,” I murmured, pressing the side of the panel.

The screen ignited in a faint shade of blue before it turned pitch black.

“I don’t know if you can even see me on this darn thing. Is this right?” My mother spoke, her voice light and airy.

Watching the screen flip over, she comes into the frame, a bright smile on her face.

I felt my heart begin to ache just seeing her. All the small signs of aging are present on her face. Small smile lines beside her pink lips and hints of dark brown in her honey blond hair. She was alive and she looked healthy. I felt my throat tightening, small tears already welling up in my eyes.

“Hi, baby girl.” She said, plopping down into a chair I couldn’t recognize from our old home. Her fingers pushed her cropped freshly cut hair behind her ears.

“Hi, Momma.” Was all I could muster up as I traced a finger down the screen.

From what I could see she wasn’t wearing her usual bright floral attire. Instead, she sat there in what looked like sweatpants and a white oversized sweater.

“Now you’re probably thinkin', just where the hell are you? Doesn’t look like home does it?” She laughed, her bubbly personality leaking through the screen. “I did it, baby girl, I went to rehab just like you asked. Everyone here is so nice and everything is so clean. I even made a few friends in the last couple of years. I’m the prettiest in the group though.” She chuckled, flashing me one of the badges pinned to her shirt. I couldn’t help but laugh too, hot tears streaming down my face.

“You look so good, Momma,” I said, watching her adjust the camera.

“I can hear you now. Probably wondering if I’m gonna stay this way and I will, I promise. I signed in when you left and I haven’t broken my sobriety once. I want you to be proud of me, I want you to come home, I miss you. And make sure you’re being safe up there. I don’t need you coming home with some sorta weird alien baby. Unless it’s a cute one of course. I could always use a grandbaby while I still look this nice. I need someone to come down here and spend up your daddy’s money with me.” She wiped a stray tear from her face, sitting up more in her chair. “I’m sorry I made you leave. If you come home we can go anywhere you like, I promise you. I will divorce your daddy and we can live someplace far away. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” I croaked out.

“I was in our home the day after you left just pouring all the bottles down the sink when I heard something, it came from your nursery. It still smells like you too.” Reaching down into her purse, she fishes out a small pink bear, in their hand a little flower. “I don’t think you’d remember this but you would cry for this thing for hours. I thought seeing him might help you when you feel a little homesick. I sent him up there for you.” She hugged the teddy bear.

Picking up the camera, she begins to walk around the facility, the teddy bear in her hands beginning to hum a lullaby she’d sung to me as a child.

“Oh, I love this song.” She chirped, happily singing in tune with the bear.

Her voice seemed to have matured some, yet it was still as beautiful as ever. I wish my father had given his heart to her too, she deserved love. She deserved better.

“Oh and let me show you the Dahlia flowers baby girl, they just match your eyes perfectly.” She opened the doors to the facility, brushing past a young nurse. “Oh Darlin, you gotta come here quick. I know just the nicest man, he kinda looks like that famous movie star, what’s his face? He even has his-” And with that, the video cut off and I was left to my own devices.

“Your mother is pretty, I see where you get it from.” He said, resting his head on his hands.

“She is adopted, you moron,” Rina whispered. “But that does not make you less pretty.”

“I’m just laughing at the fact that she wanted to marry me off too. At least she was nicer about it.” Giggling, I curl into Royce’s grasp while reaching down to hold onto Rina’s hand. “Is it okay if I listen to the video again?”

“Of course you can,” Rina said, moving in closer. “Watch as many times as you like.”

“Yeah, it probably cost millions to make.” Royce snorted. “I’m jealous.”

“How about I pay for your next two messages then?” I said, peeking over my shoulder.

“Deal! Now play the video.” He said, pressing the screen for me.

“I don’t know if you can even see me on this darn thing. Is this right?” My mother her voice muffled as I hugged the tablet to my chest, drifting off to sleep.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 10

Even in my Na’vi body, I could not shake the uncomfortable memories of yesterday. My father’s words rang clear, like a harsh cruel chime, swaying freely in my mind. It was like the unpleasant antithesis of the constant humming. The two battled constantly since I’d taken up residence in this body. It left a bad taste in my mouth. Marrying someone I’d never seen before, let alone being forced to breed with that same man, like some prized cow.

“Focus, Georgia. Just shut up and focus.” I said, opening my eyes to the world around me.

I sat underwater, my fingers running across various corals and small fluttering fish. Above my head was a small arch of stone, every inch of it covered in life and color.

Before Ik’tanhì left me to my own devices this morning, he’d shown me a few of the gentler fish to be around. This one was apparently called a chandelier in English. It’s body was segmented into four semi-transparent sections, each portion of the fish covered in tiny yellow speckles. Ik’tanhì said they reminded him of moving starlight.

Feeling a slight shiver up my spine, I reach behind me gently stroking the fish attached to my back. The txampaysye, the gill mantle, on my back seemed to be shuddering as well, it’s body linked to my own while it latched onto my ribcage. It was one of the most beautiful creatures I’d ever seen. Like some sort of jellyfish and manta ray or maybe even a butterfly with wide jelly wings. When I’d first attached to the creature I expected it to thrash around but instead it latched on with ease, almost like a second set of natural lungs I’d been missing my whole life.

Continuing my swim through the water, I reach out for a large piece of feather like anemone, letting the small violent tendrils brush along my fingers. Watching a small clear fish dart into the anemone, I reach out toward it when I feel a hand interlock with my own. Yanking my hand back, I quickly swim to the surface of the water, only to hear a splash beside me.

Ik’tanhì told me he’d not be back for hours, that he and some of the hunters were out looking for an RDA ship. Apparently the business my father prided himself on was some sick sort of whaling. He’d hired some folks down at the RDA to track down the Tulkun, and extract their essence from their heads in some sort of wicked cash grab. Regardless, this was not Ik’tanhì. This was a face I’d never seen before.

It was someone new, someone who was a true member of the Katotxampay unlike myself. It was my first time I’d been openly approached, even just touched by someone who hadn’t recoiled away as if my skin was trash.

Taking a cautious swim backward, I watch them come forward, their hand reaching out for mine.

“What do you want?” I asked, reaching behind me for the chunk coral covered rock from before.

Given my track record he’d come to drown me when no one else was around, he surely seemed like he had the physique to do so.

“You can speak like me?” He said, his curious face melting into a heart warming smile. “That is good. I was worried you might have been in trouble, you were under the water for so long.” He cleared droplets of water from his face, coming in closer.

“Why would you worry? I won’t harm anything, I promise.” Cowering backward, I continue slowly making my way toward the beach.

“Because Ik’tanhì has asked me to keep watch over you. I would not like to go toe to toe with my brother.” His fist went over his chest, knocking against where I assumed his heart was.

“I’m sure you could take him. You’re bigger than him, right?” I tilted my head in confusion, only to watch his smile widen.

It was something so pure and kind that it distracted me from the fact that he’d continued following after me, his movements in the water more fluid than mine on land.

“Bigger, yes. More fearsome? Only time will tell.” Gliding around me, the Na’vi would stop to gently remove the gill mantle from my back, releasing the creature back into the ocean.

“Well, thank you for watching me.” I said, my feet touching the sea bank. Pulling myself from the water, I continue my few steps back, rather weary of the stranger. I’d been fooled by enough pretty smiles.

Stepping from the ocean with ease, he pushed his long dark hair behind his ears.

“Forgive me for my rudeness. Oel ngati kameie.” He spoke softly, his hand swiftly moving from his forehead down to his other hand.

I’d seen this before. I’d seen the other Na’vi doing to to one another. I’d actually seen it so much that I asked Hughs and Rina if it was some sort of fancy goodbye. They were quick to correct me.

“Oel ngati kameie.” I gestured back, surprised to have been greeted by another for the first time. “My name is Georgia.” I held a hand outward for him to shake, only to watch him mirror the gesture, taking my hand in his own.

He looked my fingers over, more gentle than curious. Not at all disgusted like the others. Giving my hand a pat, he smiles back.

“I am Nguyo te Tsyatufat Tsaskìkon'ite. Your name, Keork’a. It is new and very beautiful.” The compliment came with the brightest smile I’d seen in ages, one that made me freeze in place, unable to even breathe evenly.

All too quickly I became aware of everything around me all at once. The air felt a tad too warm around my head, my tail was lashing wildly against the sand and phantom chills ran down my spine. For the first time in a long time I wasn’t just Georgia speaking to someone else. I was Georgia speaking to a man. Everything was all too sudden, too hot and too fast. His kind tone, the way his loose long curls blew in the wind, the polished beads that hung from his neck, the same hue as his ocean-colored eyes. Even the dark inky tattoos that covered his muscular arms were noticeable. Was I attracted to a Na’vi? I didn’t think they were ugly, but I never thought I’d be bewitched by some kind words and a nice smile. I couldn’t remember this feeling, even when I’d lost my virginity I couldn’t remember this feeling.

“Nguyo is great, too.” I said, giving his hand a shake before letting go.

“He also told me you wanted to gather material to make your own clothes.” His eyes glanced down my body, landing on the now slightly repaired outfit I’d been given days ago. “I will take you.”

“You want to take me deep into the jungle to pick clothing material? Why?” I asked, moving past him to head toward the netting leading to Ik’tanhì’s marui.

“I would like to get to know you more, Keork’a. Someone like you would make interesting company.” He followed after me, his own tail swinging happily from side to side.

“Because I’m new?” I said, stepping into the marui to pick up the basket and bone knife Ik’tanhì prepared for me.

“Because you fascinate me.” He said, taking the basket from my arms with ease.

“Because I’m new.”

“Because you’re beautiful.” He said, resting an arm on the side of the marui, his gaze serious as he looked me up and down.

Feeling my cheeks run warm, I sigh, breathing out heavily from my nose. I didn’t know if he knew he was coming on a bit strong but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. Part of me wondered if he knew what he was doing.

“Well, I do like nice words. Fine, you can take me to gather the materials, but at least let me make it up to you by making you something in return. It will be rather human though.”

“I like human.” He said with a chuckle, following me out of the marui.

By the time we’d made it to the jungle, nighttime slowly began to roll in and the jungle was yet again it’s vibrant hues of violet and blue.

“We are here, Keork’a.” Nguyo said, bringing me town what looked like a canoe of some sort.

He brought me to a large river, in the center a large mangrove trees covered in shimmering flora. Even the water was speckled with small glowing fish. The roots of the mangrove were so large that you could pass right under them stood up.

Taking his out stretched hand, I step into the canoe, careful to not tip us both out of it.

Running my hand along the side, I feel the outside of the boat which reminded me somewhat of tetsa and her beautiful pattern. I could faintly make out bits of wood fashioned into sturdier pieces of the boat.

Watching Nguyo gently sit in front of me, he grasps a large paddle, it’s handle wrapped in decorative seagrass. Watching him begin to row us toward the large mangrove tree, I catch his gaze and glance down toward his tattoo covered arms.

“Why the tattoos? What do they mean?” I motion toward his arms, both my hands tracing the air around his body.

I never got a tattoo myself, my mother always said it was like putting a bumper sticker on a Bentley.

His rowing stopped some, as we glid beneath a large weeping willow, it’s long leaves brushing across our heads, peppering us with small petals. Brushing them from my hair, I reach up undoing the braid I’d done, trying to make myself look slightly less unkempt.

“Why do you ask, Keork’a? Would you like a tattoo as well?” He asked back, slowing the canoe down a tad.

“I just think they look nice, they suite you.” I was honest, my hands resting in my lap as I averted my gaze once more.

“You think I look nice?” He teased, holding his arm out for me to see.

Scooting closer, I take his arm in my hands, my fingers brushing along the dark ink. Watching him come closer, he takes my hand, bringing it up his arm to one tattoo in particular.

“Most of the Katotxampay have these tattoos.” His hand guided my own toward his bare chest, like Eve to an apple. “The chest and heart tattoos you may see others with means you guard the central island.” Taking my hand back to his arm, he settles it down with a happy grin. “As for my tattoos, they mean I watch and guard the seawall. I am a hunter. I will get more soon, on my back. They are proof of my pride and joy in caring for my people. I hope you will see and like them too.”

Prying my gaze from his own, I look down his arm and smile.

“I wish that my people were as united as yours. Where I come from there are no clans anymore, just everyone competing to exist.” Reaching a hand down into the waters, I gently tap the surface, small ripples forming with each touch. “We are like too many big fish in a small pond. Even my father said I am like a small fish.” Laughing in disbelief, I look up toward Nguyo who was sat forward, listening intently.

“Are sky people, humans, truly cruel?” He asked, like a hurt puppy.

“They are, not everyone is cruel but one bad seed has already poisoned the bunch. There they build stone upon stone. Our oceans are unclean and the life is dying there. I can not remember the last time I have seen a fish in the waters. You would not like it there.” I said, reaching down to pluck some loose material from under the canoe, placing it in the basket between us. “The people though, the ones who are kind are the best. They are not hunters but they are talented too.” I said, reaching out to pay his hand.

“You are here now and you can share your talents with us. I would be proud to teach you how to hunt. You could even weave me a basket and I will collect enough fish to keep you fed for as long as you allow me.” He moved closer, his knees touching mine as he took my hands in his own. “I could even come with you for your tattoos if you wanted to hunt with me. We could get them here, and here.” He said, stroking the backside of his fingers along my arms.

“You’re tickling me.” I said, my cheeks flushing as I push his hands away. “I don’t think I could hunt. My other body is weak and if something happens, I would drown. I also get sick easily so I’m unsure if I could do much. All I can do is sing, paint and order others around, nothing helpful.” I mimic his touches, my fingers drifting across his knee.

“Singing, painting and being ordered around are my favorite things, Keork’a.” He joked, his fangs glinting in the moon’s light. “Even if you or others do not see your value, I can see them. After all, I would not risk my life sneaking you water for nothing.” He said, reaching down into the water to fish out fiber like plants

“So, it was you? I should have figured, you’re the only one to approach me. Everyone else thinks I am a demon.” I laugh, reaching down to take up a few loose stones, some of them polished from years of the water moving.

“You are no demon, I think my people are just scared. They have went through a lot but I think you could help us understand humans more.” He said this, drawing a few small shells from the river.

“I think you just like me Nguyo.” I half joked, scooting backward in the canoe.

“And if I did?” He said, following my movements.

Feeling my heartbeat rise to my throat, I grip the backside of the canoe when he steps over the small basket between us, his body leaning over mine. It was strange. Usually I was the assertive one when it came to flirting but this man had no brakes, like his foot only knew to press down on the gas. Sitting there cornered, under his pressure filled gaze, I open my mouth to speak when a familiar voice is heard coming from the jungle.

Looking over my shoulder, I see Ik’tanhì come through the trees, the smile on his face dropping for a second. Looking back at Nguyo, he stands up over me, giving Ik’tanhì a happy wave.

“Oel ngati kameie, brother.” He came forth into the waters, walking waist deep until he was close enough to grab the edge of the canoe. “I see you managed to keep her alive. I fear she will drown herself in rain if I am not there.”

Watching Nguyo step from the canoe and into the water’s, he grasps the opposite end and begins to bring it in along with Ik’tanhì.

“Maybe you need to improve your teachings, then.” Nguyo joked, dragging the canoe toward the shore. “Keork’a has given me more in one day than any conversation with you has.” He splashed his tail in the water, sending a spray in Ik’tanhì and I’s direction.

“You would be surprised to find someone finds me likeable.” I said in English, poking Ik’tanhì’s hand as we came to the riverside.

Stepping out of the canoe, I grasp my basket and step out.

“I must go now, thank you for today Keork’a. If I do not bring home fish my sister may skin me alive.” Nguyo said, waving goodbye before peeling off into the forest before I could properly say goodbye.

Turning to see Ik’tanhi, his eyes are low on my back as he moves my hair to the side. Feeling him grip the base of my tail, he slides his fingers down until he comes to the tip. Watching him carefully, he knots a small string of pearls around the end of my tail.

“We found a lot of pearls today during the hunt. They reminded me of you. Pretty and annoying.”

“So you think I’m pretty? If one more person says that today I may get an ego.” My cheeks warmed from the kind words.

He just rolled his eyes and began to walk toward the village, his hand snaking down to interlock with my own.

I’d gotten used to him guiding me this way. He said it was because I walked like I had stones for feet. At first It made me slightly uncomfortable to be handled this way but now, I’d sorta of liked it. It was nice to have another warm body touching yours that wasn’t violent.

“So Nguyo has said you’re pretty too?” He seemed to think for a moment before shaking his head. “Today while we were out we found a vessel for the sky people.” His hand tightened around my own as he helped me over a thick branch. “They were attacking groups of mother Tulkun with their small calves. Some of them still young enough to nurse.”

“I’m sorry, that’s horrible.”

“Why should you be sorry? We made quick work of the sky people.” He reached out, taking my basket from my hand.

My stomach dropped, a part of me wanted to recoil at the thought of people dying, my people dying. What if Royce was on that ship? Or Rina? Even my dickhead of a father. He was a horrible man but he was still the only father I had.

Deciding to stay silent the walk back, I nervously toy with my tail, the pearls on the end in various shades of pink and white. I wonder if they were pink when he found them or if they were stained that way. Releasing his hand once we come to the marui, I file inside taking a seat on the ground right away.

“You are quiet. It’s not unwelcome but it does not put me at ease. What is troubling you Keork’a? Is it the death of your people?” His voice softened but his eyes stayed on me, longing for that answer.

Glancing off out the open side of the marui, I chew on my lower lip unable to meet his gaze. How does one even say Oh yeah, by the way that guy killing all your whale buddies is my father! Whoopsie, I’ll ask him to tone it down from now on. Just the thought of approaching my father these days made me sick to my stomach, I wonder how Ik’tanhì would feel when he found out the truth. I couldn’t lie forever, I think.

“Just hearing of my people reminded me of my father. He is forcing me to marry someone-”

“Marry?” He looked above his head, as if the words were written on the roof. “Is that the way sky people mate?” Laying down beside me, he turns and rests the back of his head on my lap.

“Sort of, yes. He wants me to mate someone I’ve never met before and to give him children.” Tracing my thumbs across the stripes on his forehead, he shakes his head.

“I do not understand sky people. You can not force mating. It is unnatural and against Eywa’s will.” I felt myself frowning as he spoke. For him it was as simple as it sounded.

“I wish it was that simple for humans but it’s not. Some people are allowed to mate with whomever they please, some people can’t. I’m just on the unlucky side.” Shrugging, I close my eyes and lean back against the wall of the marui. “I wish to sleep now.”

Feeling Ik’tanhì move his head, I open my eyes to see him near face to face with me before he leans in, wrapping his arms around me in an awkward hug. It felt almost like it was alien for him to do. Strange enough though, I found myself patting his back, as if he was the one who needed consoling.

“You can sleep, just allow me to try something.” He held the hug for a moment before pulling away, putting me at arm’s length. “Tomorrow, we will do something to make you happy. Unless you wish to make baskets for Nguyo all day.” He teased, standing up to unfurl the hammock.

“Is someone jealous he’s not getting a basket too?” I poked, coming to take a stand beside him.

“Yes, why would I not be? I think I take care of you more than well enough. Nguyo is not needed unless I say he is.” He said, tightening the hammock to the other wall in the marui. “Now come, ketuwongtsyìp or my jealous will make me tear Nguyo’s basket to bits and pieces.” He slides into the hammock, patting the spot beside him.

“What does that mean?” Sliding into the hammock beside him, I turn my back toward him and I feel him shift, his breathe fanning across my back as he moves in closer.

“Little alien.” He says in English, the words somewhat funny in his accent.

“Then what should I call you? Big alien?” I joked, closing my eyes as he began to pluck the flowers from my hair.

“Call me jealous.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 11

My heartbeat may have been the loudest thing in the jungle, aside from the small gusts of wind rattling the trees. Each whip of wind shook the seedpods above our heads, giving off the sound of rain. I’d been here for hours with Ik'tanhì, hunting down our portion of food needed for the clan tonight.

“You are breathing too loudly, calm down.” He whispered, his arm wrapping around me, his palm laying flat against my chest as if to guide my breathing.

“It’s hard to focus, it’s even harder to be quiet,” I whispered back, trying my best to steady my hammering heart.

Hell, I never killed anything before unless bugs counted. The thought that I’d be taking another life terrified me. What if I missed and the poor creature was left suffering due to my negligence? I wish I’d taken up those archery lessons instead of golf as a child.

“Do not breathe like you are used to, Keork’a. You need to become a part of everything around you. Let your body become the light and let your breath become the wind.” He spoke softly, his hand steady over my heart. “The moment you think like your prey is the moment you will overcome it.”

Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes for a moment, imagining myself blending into the jungle. Every chirp, every rustle of leaves, even the damp soil I’d trotted on to come here.

Slowly hoisting the bow upward, I point toward the creature in front of me, its little mind somewhere else as it fills its already fat belly with grass and flowers. Drawing the string of the bow back, I point it toward the animal when I feel Ik'tanhì move closer, his heartbeat felt through my back as he held me close. It was strange how still his was, almost like it had not been beating at all.

“Your heart is beating quickly again.” He whispered, his breath warm against my ear.

Feeling his hand brush across my waist to steady me, I panic, releasing the arrow. Watching it soar past the creature, it embeds itself into the trunk above the creature's head, causing it to dart off into the trees.

“Damn it! I almost had it. Please let me use another arrow, I can do it.” I nearly demanded, turning while holding my hand out.

“It is your first time hunting, Keork’a. I do not expect perfection especially when you are hunting a yerik.” He chuckled, leaning forward to gently knock his forehead against mine. “Here, your fourth arrow.” He said, slipping the arrow from the front handle of the bow. Handing it over with a giddy look on his face, his body relaxes and he sits back on the tree we’d been perched on.

The Katotxampay were not the type of Na’vi who hunted in the jungle. Their bodies were top-heavy, strong, and built for the ocean. I don’t think I’d ever seen one of them wield a bow like Ik'tanhì did. His was large and beautiful, decorated in blue leaf-like wooden pieces at the end. It felt a little too large in my hands but it fit him like a well-worn glove.

“I don’t think it is the yerik causing the issue,” I mumbled, notching the arrow once more.

Something was throwing me off. Something tall and handsome, something with the annoying habit of being too handsy to have me keep focus. I couldn’t tell if it was our recent proximity to each other or just general fascination but he seemed different somehow. When we’d been together I could catch him smiling more, his face not stuck in its usual serious scowl. He didn’t quite look like the man I’d first met but someone different, someone with a purpose. Or maybe I was crazy and this was some weird form of Stockholm syndrome.

“Keork’a,” He whispered, his fingers pushing the aim of the bow west toward a thick bush of blue-red berries. “There is another Yerik.”

Hoisting the bow upward, I ready my aim again. Drawing my arm back, he suddenly moves my hand down and nods in the direction of the yerik again.

“Don’t look, see.” He said, slowly standing from the seat we’d had on the thick stalky branch.

Following suit, I stand up in front of him, his arm catching my waist. There the yerik stood, its belly dipping low, full with child. At its side an even smaller Yerik stood, its little mouth suckling from it’s mother.

“Come.” He took the bow from my hands, slipping it onto his back.

Watching him grasp the tree limb above us, he pulls himself upward, his arms flexing with each branch conquered.

“I hate heights.” Was all I could say as I willingly followed him upward, my grasp getting shakier and shakier as we climbed.

Every time he stopped to look around I prayed we’d be taking a pause to go back down but instead, he nodded for us to continue our ascent higher and higher into the trees. It wasn’t until we were at the top of the tree, our bodies sticking out from the canopy that he decided to stop. My hands practically nailed themselves into the tree as I clung to the trunk.

The tree we were in was slightly taller than the rest, allowing us to look down at the sea of jungle stretching out for miles and miles. It was my first time seeing the forest like this, so alive and vivid. Flocks of brightly colored birds danced above the trees, flying in perfect harmony. Even the air which was already crisp felt fresh up here.

“Fears aside, this is beautiful,” I said, looking over to Ik’tanhi who stared out into the distance, his body further out on the branch.

“It is. It’s even less scary when you come closer.” He said, patting the branch beside him. His tail swung from side to side, like a cat who was more than eager to play.

“There is also less back support. I don’t want to fall.” I said, shaking my head.

“I would never let you fall.” He said, scooting closer, his hand closer. “I promise.”

I don’t know if I was stupid or if was the thinner air but I released the trunk, scooting over to take his hand. Being drawn closer, we sit side to side, his hand holding steadily onto my own.

“At least if we die, I won’t have to marry,” I said jokingly looking out into the distance with him.

Catching a glimpse of something shiny in the distance, I stare it down narrowing my eyes.

“That is the metal tent you are from?” He tried his best to say the words in Na’vi.

“Yep, that’s the RDA building. I didn’t think we were so close to it.” In the distance, you could faintly make out billows of smoke, the only imperfection on this rather perfect planet. “Why are you showing me now? Are you telling me I can run away? Are you finally sick of me?” I joked, my tail swaying in unison with his own, the two sometimes colliding with each other.

“No, not at all. I wanted to show you my home, my first home.” He smiled, pointing out in the direction of the RDA building.

“What? That big ole tree over there?” Pointing slightly off to the side, he chuckles and raises my hand a little more into the air, above where the other tree sits.

My mind filled with the picture of netted homes, each one hanging in the canopies like the Na’vi were never meant for the ground.

“You think that puny tree over there was my hometree?” He shook his head. “My hometree was where that building is. It was quite large, larger than where your hand is. I lived there as a child and there is where I learned everything there was to know.”

The knot of fear that wound itself tight in my stomach turned into something else, something sick and raw. Like a knife had just been plunged deep into the softest part of my gut. Where I slept, where I ate, where I laughed, where I fucking slipped into the body of one of his people, it was where it all happened. I knew that something horrid went down on those grounds but I didn’t know it was his people. It was where my father took everything from him, burnt it all down, and wrapped it up into a neat bow to give me the lifestyle he felt I deserved. I couldn’t even cry, I couldn’t even fling myself from the tree tops to make up for a fraction of the damage my family caused.

“I think my people would have liked you, strange Keork’a,” he playfully teased, his hand pushing a few stray hairs from in front of my face. “You are wild and not like the other sky people.”

Pulling away, I sit beside him now allowing the wind to pass between us.

“I think I would have liked them too, especially if they were like you. Minus the annoying part.”

“Annoying?” He said with a smile, scooting closer to lessen the gap between us again.

“Yes, you’re annoying but I don’t dislike it anymore. I think it’s nice.” Inching away again, I feel my arm bump into the trunk beside me.

“Does this annoy you?” He said, reaching behind me to tug at my tail, causing me to jerk back for a second.

“Yes, it does! Stop it before you get hurt or worse, you bring me down with you.” I couldn’t help but laugh as he let me go.

“Fine, I will do it for you.” Turning to straddle the branch, he leans back, his arms resting behind him.

He was effortlessly beautiful, like something out of a classical painting. His Bengal-like stripes, his bright orange eyes, and even his scar added layers to how nicely he looked.

For the first time in a long time, it made my palm itch, like I wanted to paint him in all his wonder and glory.

“Would you ever consider coming to Earth?” I blurted out, watching his gaze snap down to mine, the place where his eyebrows would be arching in confusion.

“Why would I want to leave Pandora?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Not leave forever, but just to come and see the Earth.” Looking down at my blue fingers, I flex them and then look upward with a sad smile. “I can’t stay here forever, I need to go back to my home one day and I want you to visit with me.”

He looked away, staring off at the RDA building in the distance.

“You can stay here too, can’t you? Is it not better than Earth?” He said, readjusting his bow.

“It is better, in a lot of ways. I can’t leave my mother on Earth all alone though. She is waiting for me to come back.” I felt strange like I was that same child all those years ago asking my father to stay on Earth with me.

He sat in silence for a moment before sighing and shrugging.

“I would come for you, I need to see why sky people are tearing our land apart.” He seemed to stiffen for a moment.

“If it helps you will be the largest man there. Humans are tiny.”

“Are you tiny?” He asked, looking up through his nonexistent brows.

“Wanna find out?” I joked, nudging him backward.

“I would.” He said, coming forward only to have the branch creek under his weight.

Watching him release the branch underneath himself, he tilts to the side scrambling to grab the branch he sat on.

“Ik’tanhì!” I screamed, watching his body sink into the field of green below.

Throwing my body down the branch I sat on, I try to transverse from branch to branch. Looking over each branch, I feel my heart racing as I continue down the tree. I’d not heard a thud or even a cry for help which made things twenty times worse.

What if he’d cracked his neck or broken his spine, laid somewhere unconscious for me to find him? I couldn’t stomach it, the thought of seeing him hurt or even worse. The tired ache I’d felt melted away into something hot and fiery as I made it to the jungle floor.

“Ik’tanhì!” Calling out again, I hear nothing but silence, and my hands begin to tremble.

Looking down at the underbrush, I glimpse around for any sign of him, the only thing being his bow and arrows which lay across the ground. What if it was not that he hurt himself but that something got to him?

Picking up his too-heavy bow and arrows, I quickly slip an arrow between my fingertips and look around for any sign of a beast. Hearing the snapping of a stick behind me, I draw the arrow back and turn around, only to watch the tip of the arrow narrowly miss Ik’tanhì’s chest.

“You must be careful with how you handle that bow.” He said a goofy smile on his face.

Lowering the bow down, I feel my arms slack at my sides.

He was fine, he was fine and safe. He wasn’t dead.

Feeling my eyes swell with tears, I blink and they begin falling down my cheeks faster than I could comprehend. I wanted to be angry, to scold him for his cruel joke. Yet all I could do was cry, my sobbing turning into full-on weeping.

“I thought you were hurt, I thought you might have died. I couldn’t see you, I called for you and you didn’t respond.” I choked on my words, dropping his bow and arrows from my hands.

His smile fell, replaced by a frown as he stepped forward to comfort me.

“I am sorry Keork’a. I did not mean to make you cry. I will not make you cry again, I promise.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head against his chest as he spoke.

We stood there quietly as I wept, his hand patting the small of my back. I tried to stop crying but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what scared me more. The thought of losing him or knowing that I’d grown as attached to him knowing I’d have to leave soon.

Pulling away from his chest, I wipe away the small tears from his skin, the sadness replacing itself with anger.

“Moron,” I swore in Na’vi, pushing him away. “Now take me to hunt or I will eat you for dinner.” Wiping away any trace of my crying, I stomp down onto his foot. “You probably taste horrid.”

“Would you like a taste?” He said, wiping small tears from underneath my chin.

“You are such a man,” I said, my cheeks warming from the question.

Ik’tanhì and I left our little spot, moving through the jungle to find more food to catch. He’d pointed out small springs, teaching me how to get fresh water from even the strangest sources. The main one being these large plants that collected fresh jungle dew. When I’d asked him to teach me to gather some teylu he happily agreed, giving me a bone knife to gently pry the little grubs from the underside of rotted logs and moist branches.

“Tell me more about yourself, Keork’a. I want to know more about your parents, and your life on your planet. I want to know it all.” He said, gently pulling the lip of a large leaf down to gather dew in his mouth and then the leather pouch on his side.

“Has your interest in Earth risen?” I asked, reaching above me to gently take off more Teylu.

“Maybe.” He said, bringing his leather satchel over and to my lips. Taking a few small sips I sigh and relax for a moment.

“Well, on my planet I was not the best person. I was cruel and selfish, and I only thought of what pleased me. I never worked a day in my life. I only really went to the club and sat at home alone, sometimes with a boyfriend.” I spoke half in English and half in Na’vi, some words were untranslatable.

“Klup? And Poyfrient?” The words were twisted on his tongue, unknown to him.

“A club is where you can go to have fun as a human. You dance, there is music, you can meet people to…have fun with.” Clearing my throat, I feel my cheeks tinge with warmth.

The idea of being back at a club in my Na’vi form sounded almost ridiculous. My body was meant for the trees and land not being crammed in some dark room, bumping and grinding with strangers.

“As for a boyfriend, it is someone you like. They care about you, they make sure that you are okay and they treat you nicely.” Pulling another Teylu off, I place it down into the large leaf at my feet, the grubs all wriggling around together.

“So I am your poyfrient?” He asked, Reaching down to pick up the leaf.

“No!” I nearly shouted, my neck flushing with heat. “A boyfriend is closer to a mate. You kiss, you hug, you can be intimate…Uh, mowan?” I try to think of the closest Na’vi word and he stiffens some, his body becoming rigid.

“Ah, I understand. So a woman is a kirlfrient?” He seemed proud of his English as I nodded.

I wanted to press more. To ask if he had a girlfriend before. If he held anyone else in his arms before. If anyone made him feel the way I’d felt before with others. Yet I couldn’t muster up the courage to. Fucking coward.

“As for my parents,” I said, clearing my throat.

“My mother, she has…she had a problem. She would drink something we called alcohol. It made her unlike herself. Violent, sad, miserable. She raised me on her own because my father was here on Pandora. She makes beautiful clothes though, she actually made me the clothes I first wore when I met you. She has taught me too.” Smiling, I pat my chest with pride. “What about your parents?” I said, hoping to change the topic.

“My father was quite the fearsome warrior, he was the best ikran rider my clan had. My mother was a warrior as well. She would often take me to see the sky people. She thought it would be best to study the people invading our lands. To help us rid ourselves of them one day.” He shrugged as if the idea were silly now. “I would often go and study and learn from the sky people with my promised and her sister.” He reached for the bone knife, his gaze on nothing really.

“Your promised?” I asked, hoping I sounded less offended than I did in my head. “Do you…did you have a mate?” I said, handing him the bone knife.

“Yes, I had a promised mate. Her name was Tì'oftat and she was training to become a tiretu. She was kind and honest. I saw her take her last breath but she did not cry a single tear.” His face twisted into something sad, his attention turning down toward me. “You did not tell me of your father, you said he is here?”

He switched subjects quickly, taking my hand to escort me back to the village.

“My father is a scientist, his name is Colby Hughs.” I lied, I lied to him and I didn’t even hesitate to do so.

I expected him to look upset, to yank his hand away in anger but he only smiled.

“Toktor Hews is your father? He and toktor Rina taught me as a child. I am to meet them soon. They have to meet with the other leaders of the Tipani. They wish to open a school for the children, away from sky people. Since I am the last of my people I must attend. You will be there, yes?” Even though what he spoke of was sad, he seemed quite happy at the idea of my attendance.

The thought of me being there in my human form made my skin warm, uncomfortably. I’d have to lie further and now, I had to catch up with Dr. Hughs on our little father-daughter outing. Clearing my throat, I swallow down my fears and smile.

“Of course, I will be there. I will ask my father to let me attend.” I didn’t lie there, I needed to go to my actual father.

I prayed I didn’t get myself wrapped up in a heap of trouble.

Chapter Text

# DOTS - Chapter 12

I’d done many demeaning things before, but nothing as demeaning as what I did now.

The moment I’d swapped back into my human body, I ran to Dr. Hughs's room. I fucking ran. Of course, I was a panting heaving mess when I got there but I made it. Dr. Hughs luckily was fully dressed, rubbing the tired from his eyes when I’d arrived. I could remember how cold and unforgiving the ground was when I fell to my knees in front of him, begging him to let me attend the Na’vi meeting. It was quite strange being on my knees for a man, but the stranger thing was begging, pleading for something I wanted for once.

Dr. Hughs, the saint he was listened and kindly agreed to my demands, only if I promised to try not to die.

Now I stood in my room, violently shoving down anything I could fit into my suitcase, anything that survived the wreckage at least. The little clothes I had were strewn across the ground. Now that I thought about it, Ik'tanhì owed me some new clothes. I couldn’t exactly go back to Earth covered in pearls and rope.

Standing there half-naked, I kick a shirt across the floor and growl, slamming my fist into the side of my suitcase.

“Well, someone looks happy.” She said, scrolling down her tablet.

Taking a skirt from the ground, I fling it toward her, watching it land squarely on her lap.

“Why don’t you just wear what I’m wearing? It’s more practical.” She said, swinging her legs off the bed.

Rina looked more put together than she usually did, not in a rude way of course. Her hair had grown longer by now and she wore it loose, aside from two braids which framed her face. Even her skin seemed more dewy today. Like she was wearing makeup. As for her clothes, she opted for shorts and a tucked-in button-up.

“Yeah, no. You might as well be asking me to wear rags. No offense.” I said, picking up a dress before tossing it across the room.

“You’re…” She crossed her arms and legs, leaning in to speak. “You’re acting strange, Georgia.” She paced over, beginning to shuffle through clothes with me. “You’ve met the Na’vi before, why be so nervous now? You don’t even have to speak to them, it’s just a meeting.” She hooked her finger in a shirt, twirling it around on her finger, the words Don’t care plus my boobs bounce when I walk coasting through the air.

“One of my friends is coming. You know it’s like a formal meeting for the first time so I want to look nice.” I huffed, yanking the shirt from her hand.

“Ahh.” She said, nodding slowly before elbowing me. “Like a date?” She cooed, making kissing motions with her hands.

Sometimes I forgot that Rina was in her twenties too.

“A date?” I scoffed, my stomach doing two flips. “Yes, my alien boyfriend and I are going to go into the jungle to hook up.”

“I don’t think you could handle that.” She said, cutting me off before picking up a green top and skirt from the floor.

“How would you know? Experience?” I teased back, looking over the green dress in her hands.

“I’m waving the white flag.” Was all she said as she handed the clothes over.

Moving behind her head, I take off my bra and toss it into the basket in the corner of the room.

“You’re wearing a G-string in the jungle?” She said, turning around to size me up and down.

“As opposed to?” I questioned, only to hear Royce knocking on the door, something about begging to come inside.

As I dressed Rina began to tell me more about this meeting. Apparently, the Tipani was a larger clan than I’d thought. Most clans ranged in the hundreds but the Tipani was in the thousands that was divided into sections, with each having their leader.

The Tipani had rejected the RDA but due to a lot of work from Rina and Hughs they managed to convince them to open a new school for the children but it had to be hidden away in the jungle, safe from the prying eyes of the RDA. It had been held off for a while due to Ik’tanhì’s reluctance to join but now he seemed to be ten toes down.

Gliding toward the mirror, I give myself a once over. I’d stayed up late doing my hair but it was worth it. All my locks had been placed into long locs that framed my face and fell down my back. It took a little asking from Rina to help me place in the little silver clamps, the same color as Ik’tanhì’s. I guess it was fate for me to wear my mother’s pieces when I was with Ik’tanhì too because the green number I wore was another piece by her.

The top was simple. It was a cropped shirt that tied in the middle between my breasts. The long sleeves were made of the same rich green color. Around my hips lazily sat the skirt which bound at one of my hips, exposing one of my legs.

“No guards?” I asked, taking up a strappy gold pair of sandals.

“Sandals? You do understand we will be in the jungle?” She said, taking the sandals from my hands. “And yes, no guards. The last thing we need is armed meatheads coming to a peace meeting. Royce is only coming because he needs to carry you.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly pack to go hiking in the jungles of Pandora. I thought it was going to be more of a beach thing.” Picking up the suitcase I planned on bringing, I tug it behind me.

“How about I allow you to borrow a pair of my boots? Here, these are girly enough for your date.” She teased again, picking up a pair of brown boots from the ground.

“Wow, I can’t wait to wear these,” I said, slipping my feet into the tight steel-toed shoes.

“Well good, because we need to leave now. If we’re late the Na’vi will take that as a sign of disrespect.”

The walk to the schoolhouse truly made me appreciate my Na’vi body. My stamina had improved but about a quarter of the way there, I’d stopped twice to nearly hurl my guts up. Royce wasn’t too keen on my rejection to be carried, so now I sat in his arms while he wore my suitcase on his back.

“So, why are you so excited?” Royce asked the first words he’d spoken to me in a long time. I’d been avoiding him ever since my father put his life on a thin line.

“Well, if you must know Lieutenant Royce, I will be meeting one of my friends here.” I picked at my already clean nails, a nasty habit I picked up in college.

“Lieutenant Royce?” Royce stopped walking, giving us some space between Rina and Hughs who continued forward. “Did I do something to piss you off?” Royce’s grip on my arms and legs tightened for a moment.

“No, it’s not you. You didn’t do anything.” Awkwardly tapping my fingers together, I chuckle looking down at my nails. “My father thinks we’re some sort of secret couple, you know? I tried to correct him but he just threatened to blow your brains out.” I laughed, yet no hint of humor could be heard in my voice as he began walking again.

“Explains why I’ve been getting smaller portions lately.” Royce smiled, adjusting me in his arms.

“That’s not funny,” I said, smacking his chest.

“Hey, if he kills me, at least my pops will collect all the money he needs for his operations. And that is only if he does. I’m strong enough to stand my ground.” Royce gave me a small bounce in his arms, stepping over a thick log.

“I need you alive and alert, who else is going to carry me around and make terrible jokes.” I teased him, pinching his exposed cheek.

Royce’s eerie mood seemed to lift as we approached the schoolhouse, which at the moment was a large hallowed-out tree.

Being set down, I suddenly feel my heart racing, my pulse akin to that of a beating drum. Stepping into the hallowed outroom, I run my hands along the smooth walls inside. The entryway and makeshift windows were just carved holes, covered in a thick green leafy doorway of some sort. Even the floors were covered in what I thought was woven matt but was inside an array of roots.

“The Na’vi should be here soon,” Said Hughs, his attire much more casual, revealing his rather dad-bod-esque physique.

Pacing toward the window, I peer through the thick leaves seeing no sign of the Na’vi. A part of me wondered if this was somehow a little ambush. Like if Ik'tanhì would come in and reveal that he’d been planning this all along. That he knew I’d lied to him and he’d pry the mask from my face, suffocating me with his own hands. A death that I would deserve for everything my father did to his people.

Pulling away from the window I groan to see a Na’vi standing in the doorway, her face rather beautiful and kind, a change from the man who came in behind her. Greeting them in the way of the Na’vi, their slightly pensive looks fade and they approach Rina and Hughs.

I guess it might have been a tad strange to see someone who wouldn’t be called a pinkskin. A word the Na’vi often used to talk about humans. I guess they were a bit taken aback. However, I was more on edge.

As Dr. Hughs spoke to the pair, Rina let in another male, this one seemingly younger and more at ease with her. From what I could guess he was a familiar face and was the reason Rina looked extra cute today.

My heartbeat traveled into my throat and it felt like the world around me was shrinking. The mask on my face was too tight, my lip gloss felt a little sticky. Even the palms of my hands felt cold, like I’d run them through warm sopping sweat. I wondered if I had enough time to leave. Turning to Royce, I tap his arm wondering if I had enough time to leave when I see a set of blue hands pulling through the doorway. On each wrist a familiar brown beaded bracelet. Watching Ik’tanhì pull himself into the room, he looks me up and down, before looking to Royce and then back to myself.

I couldn’t help but stare too, my usual sassy replies nowhere to be found along with my manners. Ik'tanhì had changed how he usually dressed. His thin braids were half up, using the same string of pearls he’d wrapped around my tail not too long ago. Even his usual tattered loin cloth was different. No longer the green material that dangled along his waist but a beautiful faux sheet of leather, held together by feather-covered string. Around his neck, he wore a beautiful bead-covered necklace, each beach evenly sized and polished to a shining perfection. I guess he’d tried to dress like the people from his clan more, he blended in so easily with the people in the room.

He greeted the other Na’vi, Rina, and Hughs. He looked to Royce but shot him a dirty look before leaving the schoolhouse without even a single word toward me.

“Well, he’s friendly.” Royce chuckled, gently elbowing me.

I guess the shock on my face was easy to read because even Rina’s calm smile turned into a small smirk as she spoke.

“What that, what the actual fuck was that for!” I said as calmly as I could, yanking up my suitcase.

“Language!” Shouted Hughs, as I stormed out the door, Royce in tow.

“Sit!” I said, sending him a look that could peel paint. Pointing to the other side of the room, I stomp outside, throwing the smallest of tantrums.

Looking around, I see Ik'tanhì hanging near the tree line, his tail lazily swaying back and forth as if he were waiting on something. If it weren’t for how heavy this suitcase was I might have swung it at his stupid head.

Watching him turn to look at me again, he turns off and moves deeper into the jungle now, his large body gliding through the thick undergrowth with ease. Following after him, I try to keep my breathing steady. Killing him would be hard if I passed out and vomited on my way to him.

Why the hell did he tell me to come here if he didn’t want to talk to me? Why did he make me come out here in the jungle to confront him if he was going to walk away from me? Did he think I was ugly? Did he think I stunk again? Why did he stop walking and take a seat in a large meadow? At least if I died here and killed him we’d be buried in pretty flowers.

Approaching him, I slow down when I come in front of him, my arms dropping down to my knees as I try to gather my breath. Not only did he drag me into this goddamn jungle, but he had the nerve to hook his hands under my arms, setting me down in the grass in front of him. His grip was gentle as if he were scared to hurt me.

“Ik'tanhì te Heytsla Yawne’trr’itan. My human body, should I remind you, is quite weak. I can’t walk this far without getting sick.” Leaning backward, I let the cool air wash over my exposed skin.

Reaching a hand outward, Ik'tanhì touches my stomach as if to feel for the baby I never had. I guess I would have checked too if I was in his shoes.

“You are small.” He laughed, leaning forward to touch the top of my head. “And you are not pink like the others, you are brown.” He took my palms, flipping them over to see my lighter palms. “I think that is very beautiful, I did not know sky people could look this beautiful.”

I was a weak woman, probably the weakest on the planet. All the anger that bubbled up inside of me faded away, replaced by a strong feeling of pride.

“Well, don’t stop,” I said, standing up in front of him. “And yes, humans come in all kinds of colors. We are not all pink.” I chuckle, standing between his legs.

He was massive when he stood over me but when I stood in front of him while he sat, we were practically face to face, even if he was still a tad larger.

Watching him reach around my back, he turns me around and places a finger at the top of my spine. Feeling him trail downward, he stops when he reaches the hem of my skirt, his fingers hooking into my skirt.

“And it’s true, no tail. A part of me thought humans just hid them.” He said, tugging my skirt down in the back. “Just strange loincloths.”

“That is enough from you,” I said, turning around only to be met with a chuckle.

Part of me wondered if he questioned if we had tails or if he just wanted to tease me.

“If you are curious, ask. Humans are not so friendly unless they are mated or doing mowan with each other. Plus, I think you owe me an apology first if you want to play in my skirt.” Snapping at him, I retighten my skirt, which as the end of the day was just sheer fastened green cloth.

Feeling him staring a hole into my body, I reach out lifting his chin upward.

“Forgive me Keork’a for exhausting you. I should have carried you, would you like me to pick you up and carry you now?”

“No, that is what Royce is for. He is rather good at carrying me around.” I said, my own hands reaching out to feel Ik'tanhì's hair.

He brought his Kuru forward, and I gently traced my fingers down the braid-like kuru. It felt heavier in my hands, more delicate though.

“Is Royce the man you will choose to mate?” He asked, crossing his arms.

I’d noticed his pupils shrinking as he looked out toward the schoolhouse. Placing his Kuru down, I hold my hands out and he instantly takes them, pulling me forward.

“Royce?” Laughing, I give Ik'tanhì's four-fingered hand a small squeeze. “No, Royce is just my friend, he makes sure that I am safe while I am at the RDA. Why do you care?” I asked, praying Ik'tanhì couldn’t feel my racing pulse through my hands.

“I wanted to see the man you might have mated. Also, you smell like Royce, his scent is all over you.” Ik'tanhì said, his hands sliding up and down my arms.

“Well, he does carry me around quite often, so it makes sense,” I said, shivering from the chill of him holding me.

“I also did not want to cause you discomfort with my curiosity. May I see how sky people differ?” His tone was genuine, as he released my arms, his knuckles grazing across the bottom of my skirt.

“Yes but, I would prefer if you took me someplace a little less out in the open. The last thing I need is someone walking in on you being curious.” My cheeks ran hot at the thought of someone finding us.

Watching Ik'tanhì stand, I try to keep my eyes on his but it was me practically craning my neck to see him when he stood this close. His loincloth was only inches from my face and I didn’t feel like getting pistol-whipped from proximity. Being hoisted upward into his arms, he holds me close and takes my suitcase trekking into the jungle, his eyes tracing over my lips now and then.

This world from the eyes of a human was so different. Like every color was dulled down, like every scent, every breeze, hell, even the sounds weren’t as sharp. I wondered if this is how hamsters felt. When I was a Na’vi the world felt alive and I felt as if I belonged, like I was one with nature. Now I just felt as if I were just occupying space in a world not meant for me.

“Ma faketuantsyìp, does this please you?” He teased, setting my suitcase on the ground.

If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I would have never guessed a place like this could possibly exist. The plants were massive, towering even over the Na’vi. The palm fronds overlapped each other, connecting at the base in a large blue weave. From there they sprouted out a bright orangish-yellow. The tips of the palm fronds were a beautiful green and purple color. Behind the large pool of water and many mature and sprouting palm trees sat a copious string of waterfalls. The misty spray of the water caused a rainbow to form in the air. Small clusters of blue flowers clustered around the base of all the flora, the indigo shade reminding me of the fish I’d first seen.

“This is perfect, Ik'tanhì,” I said as he placed me down near the edge of a pool of water. Kneeling down I peer over the edge to see small colorful fish dating around each other in a playful little dance.

Watching Ik'tanhì come closer, he takes a seat beside me, crossing his legs as if he were waiting for me to join him. Taking a few steps closer, I sigh and place my hands on my hips before undoing the knot that held my skirt up. Doing a small spin for him, I let the material puddle to the ground.

“See, no tail,” I said, feeling a little embarrassed at my choice of underwear now.

Moving a few steps closer, I watch as Ik'tanhì wastes no time, his fingers brushing along the back of my head, feeling for where my kuru should have been.

“So it is true, no kuru either.” He felt along each of my locks as if he would suddenly make a kuru appear himself.

“Yep, no kuru here.”

He stopped touching my head, pulling his own kuru around for me to see and hold again.

“Then how do you ride your ilu or connect with your, Earth.” He said softly as if he were heartbroken by the very thought.

“We don’t have anything to connect to on our planet. No ikran, no ilu, nothing to connect to. Everything is much more different. We have metal wheels, we use metal a lot actually. We hurt our planet.” I feel myself pouting but Ik'tanhì just made a face like he already knew.

“And no tail but you are balanced.” He hooked a finger into the middle of my shirt, untying the already loose knot. “And no child.” He said, running a thumb through the valley between my breasts.

A shiver ran down my body, goosebumps covering every inch of my skin, the hair on my body standing up on end.

Even though I’d allowed this to happen, I was starting to regret my choice to say yes. Not because Ik'tanhì made me uncomfortable but because I was getting thoughts I’d need to kneel and pray for forgiveness for. It had been a literal eight years, six included in my travels since I’d been intimate with a man. My last boyfriend wasn’t the best in bed either. He usually had me faking an orgasm during his three-minute pillage of my body.

Now here I stood with Ik'tanhì who was just curious, making me feel like a touch-starved freak. He was close, very close actually. His warm breath brushed between my breasts while his large hands held my sides. Part of me wanted him to lift me up onto his lap and to let him do as he pleased, as I pleased. My body betrayed me, my nipples stiffening while the butterflies in my stomach came to life. A familiar ache nestled between my thighs as I tried to calm myself. Ik'tanhì was just my protector, nothing would come to fruition between us. I had obligations and a duty to my family.

Unaware of my inward spiral, Ik’tanhì stops at my G-String, his hands brushing over the lacy fabric in sweet painful circles. His fingers slid between my thighs, gently tugging the underwear to the side. His eyes widened in shock, as if I’d been storing snacks down there, well I kinda was.

“Sky people have fur here?” He asked.

I wanted to blow up, to just ask him to give in and fuck me like he hated my guts but I steadied myself.

“Yeah, we do,” I said dryly, thanking my lucky stars that he seemed to have more self-control than I did.

“May I see more?” He asked a bit more careful, his eyes looking me up and down.

Nodding unable to speak, I take a seat on the ground in front of him only to have him get down on my level. Watching him spread my legs, he pulls my G-String down my legs, tossing it to the side.

“Why is your loincloth so tight?” He asked holding both my knees.

“For comfort, damn it,” I said shyly, feeling more exposed than I ever had.

He looked at my sex rather perplexed, his fingers spreading my lips.

“Your skin is brown but you’re pink here.” He chuckled and then pressed the knuckle of his finger to my clit. “What is this?”

Feeling a sudden rush of heat flood my lower stomach, I clamp my thighs around his hand, sitting upward.

“That’s for mowan, it’s very sensitive and it’s only used when needed. Don’t all Na’vi women have this? I’ve seen it on my other body.”

“Not from what I’ve seen, no.” He chuckles and brushes his hand downward, his fingers sliding over my wet slit. “This is where you connect, I know that.” Pulling his hand away, I thank goodness that his fingers aren’t slick.

Reaching to the side, I pick up my underwear, slipping them back on slower than I’d taken them off.

“My curiosity is sated, thank you Keork’a. Would you like to see me as well?” He questioned, watching me dress myself again, his gaze now on my face.

I wanted to say yes but I could tell from the way that heat pooled between my legs that I shouldn’t tempt fate. The last thing I needed was to give Ik'tanhì a warm welcome from my human body.

“No, I don’t have enough self-control. We will need to leave it to another day.” I said, grasping my little suitcase.

Cracking it open I pull out my tube of lip gloss and give it a small shake. Inhaling deeply, I pull my mask off and reapply a small layer of gloss to my lips.

“This, your mouth is shiny.” He reached a thumb out, smearing my lip gloss.

Moving his hand, I wipe away the extra that is now smeared on my cheek.

Reapplying the gloss again, I try to be quick, placing my back back on my face. Inhaling in the filtered air, I hold out the tube for Ik'tanhì and he takes it.

“It’s lip gloss. It’s like paint but it’s to make you pretty.” I watch him twirl the gloss in his hand, the tube so small in his large hands.

“But you are already pretty.” He gave the tube back, before peeking inside of the suitcase.

Inside I’d packed a few things I wanted to show him, the most important being the electronics I practically stole from the RDA building. Watching him reach down into the case he pulls out both of my tablets, looking them over in his hands.

“Please be careful with that one in your right hand, it’s from my mother,” I said, reaching out to take the tablet from his hand. “Here, let me show you.”

Moving over, I take a seat in his lap and press play on the video.

Watching him begin to watch the video, I smile as he glimpsed curiously at the human space, his eyes wide at all the things he’d never seen before. By the time the video was done, he passed back the tablet.

”Your mother has your funny voice.” He said, trying to mimic our accents as he spoke.

“Are you making fun of my accent, jungle boy?” I said, pulling the tablet from his hands. “You’re the one with the funny way of speaking.”

Moving out of his lap, I squat down in front of him only to keep his hand gently toying with the end of my skirt.

“Did you forget who is the alien here?” He said, gripping the end of my skirt now.

Carefully tucking the items into my suitcase, I go to pull out a sheet when he snakes a hand around my waist, pulling me in closer. Feeling his forehead rest against my shoulder, he sighs and takes hold of my hand.

“When will you be leaving, to go back to your Earth?” He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as if he were afraid he might easily crush me.

“I’m not sure but it will be soon. I need to meet my future, mate.” I said sadly, patting his head with my free hand. “Why? Are you going to miss me?” I joked.

He said nothing, instead turning me around.

“Would you stay if I said yes?” He asked genuinely.

Smiling, I pull from his hands and shake my head no, a sad smile on my face.

“I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy my time here with you while we have time. I have a lot to show you and so little time.” I turned my back on him, something empty and lonely forming in the pit of my stomach.

Walking toward a set of adolescent trees, I begin to gently tie the large white sheet around the trees.

If I had the choice to stay would I? I’d be leaving behind everything I ever knew to work under my father. How long could my body even sustain my Na’vi body? Would my hair turn gray while Ik’tanhì stayed young and beautiful? Would he find his mate while I was stuck with someone who only wanted me for a fancy nameplate? Would Rina and Royce move on with me?

“Here, let me help,” Ik’tanhì said, coming up behind me to carefully tie the sheet to the trees.

“Thank you, did Rina and Hughs ever teach you about movies?” Going back toward my suitcase, I pull out a small projector.

Usually, it was used for projecting lessons about the Na’vi on Hughs's wall but I’d begged him to let me borrow it. Connecting it to my tablet, I flick through the movies on it trying to find something that wouldn’t bore him to death. Deciding on Interstellar I carefully prop the projector up as Ik’tanhì takes a seat behind my standing figure. Plopping down beside him, he grumbles and picks me up, sitting me in his lap.

“Why-”

“The last thing I need is something snatching you away,” He said, locking his arm around my torso. “Especially if you wish to leave soon.”

Before I could question him, the screen began to project onto the blanket, causing Ik’tanhì to grumble something about strange humans.

Watching the movie with him went about as expected, he whispered in my ear asking what nearly everything was. It was cute to watch him be curious, his ears standing on end at the sight of the spacecraft traveling among the stars.

“Your eyes remind me of that, it’s called a black hole,” I said, pointing toward the screen.

Looking up toward him, I catch him staring at me, a hint of longing in his gaze. Maybe he wanted me to stay, maybe a movie about traveling space was not the best when I’d practically been preparing to say goodbye to him.

“Don’t leave.”

“I can’t.” Was all I said back, his hand lifting the bottom of my mask from my face.

Tugging it back down, I shove his hand away standing up.

“Please.” Was all he said, before lifting the mask again.

Allowing him to do so, I hold my breath as he leans in closer, his mouth pressing to mine. It was quick, warm, and gentle, the words I’d never use to describe a warrior like him.

Feeling him place the mask back on my face, I inhale deeply, still trying to gather my thoughts. Pulling away from him, I stumble back and over the projector, his hand reaching out for me, catching me before I could land on the ground.

“Stay.” He asked again, holding me at arm’s length.

“No.”

Pulling myself from his hand, I turn my back on him pausing the movie. Shoving everything back into the suitcase, he reaches out for me again only for me to pull back.

“Stop it, I can’t stay.” I snapped, going over to the sheet to tug it down. “Even if I wanted to, my father would just hunt me down,” I said, my tone serious as I quickly began to fold the sheet.

Tossing it into the suitcase, I zip it up only to have Ik’tanhì stand up to come with me.

“Let me carry you back at least.” He pleaded, reaching out to lift me up.

“No!” I said, lugging the suitcase onto my back. “I don’t need you to carry me, I don’t need you to ask me to stay,” I said, my eyes beginning to burn hot underneath my mask.

“Did I upset you?” He said, falling to his knees. “Please, forgive me for the way I treated you before, Keork’a. I blame the sky people for the war they gave my people and because of that, I treated you horribly, and now you won’t stay. I’m sorry.” He began to plead, drawing me in closer.

“No, I’m not upset with you. You did nothing wrong.” I said. “I have things of my own I need to fix and I can’t drag you down with me. Please, don’t ask me to stay.” I said, blinking away the feeling of needing to cry.

“It would be easier if you asked me to count every star in the sky. I need you Keork’a.” He said, his gaze pinned on my own.

Feeling my chest beginning to heave, I reach up to the mask on my face prying it off. Taking a step toward Ik’tanhì I take his face in my hands, pressing my mouth to his. He seemed to tense, before allowing me to kiss him, his hands gripping my waist as he tried to restrain himself. Our size difference was apparent as he dwarfed my frame with his, but the intensity of the moment made that fact irrelevant. His lips were warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the cold reality we were facing. As our kiss deepened, I could feel the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders, if only for a brief moment.

I felt horrible lying to Ik'tanhì. Here I was giving him false hope even after he’d opened up to me. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to let him know everything in between each press of his lips to mine. I wondered if he would want to see me again once I told him the truth. If he’d pry my mask from my hands and toss it into the jungle.

Feeling my grip on him loosen up some, I part my lips for him as hot warm tears streak down my cheeks. He didn’t seem to understand what I wanted but it was fine because he cradled my head, bringing us closer to one another.

Pulling away from him, I pant gasping for air I didn’t have as the world became a twisting blur around me. Reaching a hand out toward his face, I feel my mask slip from my hand and onto the ground. Watching black spots dot my vision, I reach for Ik'tanhì only to feel my legs give out under me, my world turning into something black and empty.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 13

The sharp smell of disinfectants caused me to jerk away, my fingers flexing, grasping for nothing in front of me. Lifting my hand in front of my face, I block out the bright shining fluorescent lights, I groan as the sound of a monitor rings through the room. Inhaling deep gulps of air, I reach up touching the underside of my nose. Each nostril had a small oxygen tube hooked inside, of my nose. Steadying myself in the med bay bed I’m in, I sit up wincing, my chest burning from not having moved much in my sleep. It felt like I’d awoken from another six-year hibernation but only worse.

My head felt dazed as I looked from side to side until I saw a large calendar on the wall beside me. Each day is marked with chicken scratch notes and a sticker. Counting each sticker back, I stopped on the seventh which was a pitch-black circle. The six after were marked with yellows and oranges, today’s being a pale orange, nearly green.

Looking down into my lap, I wince as I swing my legs over the side of the med bay bed. My skin was dappled in hues of blue and yellow. Each mark on my arm was long and thin, matching a set on my leg.

“Ms. Stringer? Are you awake? Your father will be happy to hear that. How are you feeling?” Said the woman approaching me, her red-manicured fingers clutching a clipboard.

Under her kind brown eyes sat thick dark circles. Even her uniform was stained with brown splotches like she’d dropped coffee on herself at least once.

“I, am fine.” I choked on the words, my voice hoarse from its little usage.

”That is lovely. I am your personal physician, Portia Livingston.” She held her hand out, the backside resting on my forehead.

“What happened?” I said, reaching up to rub my sore throat. “Am I on Earth?” I said, looking over her shoulder toward the windows which were blocked by a pair of metal shutters.

“No, we aren’t home sadly. We are on Pandora.” She said, a smirk on her face as she gently held my shoulder.

I was still here. Thank goodness, I needed to say goodbye.

“I’m sorry, what happened?” I reminded her as she began to polish the glass of her watch.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry!” She said, scrambling to place her glasses on. “Your father told me to keep the details to myself, I’m sorry.” She said, holding the clipboard to her chest.

“Please, I need to know,” I said, reaching up to touch the tubes in my nose. “My father doesn’t want to scare me but It’s scarier to be left in the dark,” I asked kindly, something I was still adjusting to.

Sighing, Dr. Livingston looks over her shoulder and tugs the curtain to our section of the med bay closed. She took a seat in front of me on a small swivel chair, crossing her legs.

“I don’t know how to put it Georgia, so I will try to put it lightly. Your sickness isn’t getting any better here. You’re straining your heart far too much.” She turned the clipboard toward me, a little diagram of a heart on the paper.

“I know about my heart issues,” I said, looking over the little diagram.

My heart was odd. The one thing keeping me alive is the source of my sickness, the same sickness that took my mother’s life. It was odd knowing I was older than her now, that I’d lived longer than her only to waste my life away in clubs.

“Well, since the bottom of your heart never fully developed that well as a child, the bottom left quarter of your heart got swollen. When you first came here it was only a quarter of the size it is now. The bad news is that there isn’t anything we can do for you here. Your father has gotten into contact with a surgeon on Earth. He thinks it’s possible to grow you a new heart which you can get as soon as you get home. Isn’t that lovely?” Her hand ran along my shoulder, giving it gentle squeezes.

A new heart? A chance to live old enough to see my hair grow gray and my skin wrinkle? I was so used to it all, used to the irregular pump of my faulty heart. Used to the cold clammy skin and the fainting spells which left me worse for wear. My life wouldn’t be some ticking time bomb, I could live.

“So,” I pushed the clipboard back toward her. “What are they going to do until I go back? Pills? Liquid medicine? Shock therapy?” I laughed, my hands gripping my braids.

“Georgia, there isn’t enough time for that. If you strain yourself more than what you already are, you could die. He called in a shuttle for you the moment you arrived here, we were expecting to hear back from them while you were unconscious. You need to live your life like you’re made of glass until you get your heart.” She moved forward trying to comfort me, but my skin only ran cold.

He wasn’t even going to let me say goodbye, he wasn’t even going to see me off. He was going to pack me into a glass coffin and send me off with nothing more than six years gone, again.

“So he is going to send me home without a word?” I scoffed, reaching up to my nose to yank out the tubes.

The idea made my heart race with sadness, with anger. I was nothing more than a breeder, a pawn to use on his pristine chess board. I wouldn’t be surprised if he married me off in my sleep like some sad fairy tale princess. Even now, I didn’t have choice. Go home and get a new heart, forever indebted to my own cruel Gepetto.

Reaching for the tubes connected to my arms, I yank them out throwing them onto the ground.

“Ms. Stringer, please.”

“Just, give me a moment. I need to think about this.” Standing, I grip the bedside as my knees whine in pain.

“At least wear these. The ground is cold.” She held out a pair of slippers, placing them on the floor in front of me.

Slipping my feet into the slippers, I give the Doctor a silent smile and exit the room, only to be met with a wall of meat blocking my path.

The familiar scent of army-grade soap lingered freshly off Royce’s body. His usually chipper face was twisted in pain. His under eyes were a little darker and his beard has been slightly scruffier. Even his hair was a little longer, a bit more messy. Reaching up to his face, I hold both of his cheeks and smile.

“You look like shit, Lieutenant.” Feeling the ground under me disappear, Royce hoists me off the ground in a hug.

“You’re awake. You’re awake,” He murmured into my hair, his hand patting my back. “I think I’ve faced scarier battles Georgia.”

His arms instinctively scooped under my legs and back, causing me to wince from the sore spots on my skin.

“You’re making it sound like I died.” I joked, nudging him with my head.

He went silent, looking into my eyes.

“You scared us.” He scolded, shifting the topic.

“Us? Was Rina scared to sleep without me?” I laughed weakly, my lungs tightening violently as the laugh morphed into a cough.

“Sleepless nights were the least of her troubles.” His movements were quick and agile, almost planned as he brought me back to my quarters.

On the bed sat Rina who looked worse for wear. The three of us looked like shit. It was not what I imagined when I said I wanted to wear matching outfits one day.

“You’re awake? You couldn’t have been a few days earlier.” Rina said, the pen in her hand carefully sketching out something on a sheet of paper.

“Okay, lovely to see you too. Yes, I’m alive, thank you for asking. What the hell is happening? Why is everyone being so hush-hush?” The words came out a bit nerve-wracked as Royce placed me down on the ground, leaving the room behind.

Rina being Rina slid me her bottle of water, pointing toward her own throat. Taking a few sips of the cool liquid, I sigh feeling the sore ache in my throat ebb away.

“You’re right to be a bit upset, I’m sorry. You just scared the living shit out of us, Georgia.” She ran a hand through her hair, peering up at me through her kempt bangs.

“Because I passed out? It’s not the first time it happened. It used to happen a lot on Earth.” I said, reaching out for one of the little papers on the bed.

“You didn’t just pass out Georgia. One moment, I’m discussing pencils with the natives, and in the next I see Ik’tanhì carrying your limp body. He said you took your mask off.” She crumpled up a piece of paper, launching it directly into the center of my forehead.

It all came crashing back like her assault on my noggin awoke my frontal lobe. I’d been with Ik’tanhì when I lost consciousness.

“But I’m fine. I’m here and it didn’t hurt.” I said, tossing the piece of paper toward her weakly.

“Yeah, you’re fine.” She emphasized, handing a sheet of paper toward me. “Royce tried to take you and Ik’tanhì nearly tore his damn arms off. When he finally let me touch you, your pulse was so faint, it wasn’t there. We needed to bring you back but we were too slow and Ik’tanhì was too fast. We couldn’t stop him, so Flusel tried to.”

The memory of the female Na’vi from before flickered to mind, her beautiful face and kind small.

“We weren’t able to get here fast enough but words around the base fly pretty damn fast. Royce barely managed to steal the damn security footage. Ik’tanhì brought you here and when they tried to take you away without him, he lost it. They restrained him and took him down. And Flusel,” Rina’s fist drove into the bedside. “Flusel just saw one of her people being attacked and fought back. Eight people died, she was one of them.” She chewed on her lip, her hands gripping the pen tight enough to snap it in half.

Eight people, just dead. All because I had no self-control, all because of a kiss.

”Took him down?”

”He is being held here. Your father is worried that the Na’vi will retaliate if he is released. He thinks he will hurt you.” Rina glanced up into my eyes.

“He wouldn’t hurt me. I just need to tell my father he wouldn’t and he will let him go.” I stood from the bed, scrambling toward my clothes.

“Georgia, your father isn’t holding him here in the hopes of a trade or something. He’s holding him as a warning. If the Na’vi do anything to upset him, he’ll kill him through your word or not. You can’t just walk up to your father and save him”

“Rina,” pausing over my pile of clothes I look down at my hands. They’d been stained by the death of others again, just from my actions alone. I never thought just being me would make me into a killer. “I’m going to free him, no matter what. It’s my fault people died and it’s my actions that need to fix things.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Rina said, launching another ball into the back of my head. “I said you can’t just walk up to your father. There are other methods.”

Looking over my shoulder, I frown as my eyes begin to water.

“So you’re going to help me?” I croaked out, moving over to the bed.

Wrapping my arms around Rina in a hug, I pull her to my body, not caring for the paper crumbling under my knees.

“That’s what friends are for, you little brat.” She held me close, her hand stroking down my back.

“Thank you, Rina.” Keeping hold of her, I pull back wiping away the tear droplets on her shoulder.

“Don’t thank me yet. This plan works mainly on your cooperation.” She chewed on the tip of her thumb, the spot red from constant chewing.

“It doesn’t matter what it is. I’ll do it.”

Out of all the plans Rina had to choose, she chose the one involving Heels.

It wasn’t that I hated heels, hell they were a woman’s best friend. I just felt like a baby deer after having just awoken from my little coma. It didn’t help that she’d also suggested I wear a dress. If you told me the dress was spun from sunlight I might have believed you. It was a fiery gold color, something that stood out against the pale walls. Yet, as I walked down the halls of the facility with Royce in tow, I felt invisible. Not a single glance went my way from the occasional glance looking me up and down.

“If things weren’t so dire, I’d say you looked like a real princess,” Royce whispered, his eyes looking over my makeup and hair.

I’d dolled myself up as best as I could to match the Georgia everyone thought I was. The Georgia my father wanted me to be. It’s not like it wasn’t who I was, no amount of time in the Jungle could change who I was at my core. A doll for my father. Nothing but shiny, cold hard plastic.

However, slipping into something that was my own was slightly comforting. Like I’d been wrapped in my own armor.

The walk with Royce in the more locked-off sector of the RDA felt odd. Any issue that wasn’t fixed with a batting of my eyelashes or a subtle flirt was usually handled with a ‘but daddy said’. My personal two-edged sword, how funny.

“What’s your favorite color,” Royce asked, as he brought me toward a small seat in the hallway we’d been walking down. I hated to admit it but I found myself growing rather tired too soon.

“What?” I looked over toward him, my hands nervous gripping the purse I’d brought along.

“Your favorite color.” He motioned into the nothingness of the hallway.

“Well, it depends,” I said, reaching down to readjust the strap of my equally golden heels. “I really like rouge. Makes me feel kinda badass when I have it on.” Shrugging, I nudge my arm against his. “What about you? Lemme guess, green?”

“Actually, it’s blue. Kinda like that blue after it’s just rained when the sky is a bit gray. Reminds me of when my old man would take me out to this little diner. Every time we went there it was the same old story about how he met my mom, in that same diner, in that same spot.” He adjusts the belt around his waist, his gear jingling.

“Why do you ask? I don’t think right now is the time to play twenty questions.” Chuckling, I reach out to his belt, my fingers sweeping over his gun and a pair of silver handcuffs.

“You just seemed tense, I don’t know. I do it with pops sometimes, when he gets a little iffy. The Doctors say it helps to ask simple questions. Favorite color, favorite food, his name.” Royce looked out toward the wall, his hands clapping together.

Reaching up to Royce’s head, I run my fingers through his hair. Leaning over I place a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“You’re a good man, thank you,” I whispered, wiping the lip gloss from his cheek with my thumb.

“I’m not, but I’d like to think I am. I want to feel as good as you see me.” Royce stood, only to be yanked back down onto the bench. “What the hell.”

Standing up from the bench, I slip the small pair of handcuff keys into my purse. I couldn’t let Royce come, I couldn’t put him in any more danger than I already had.

“I’m sorry. I will be done quickly. In and out, I promise.” Taking a step back, I watch him flex his hand, trying to pry himself off the bench.

“Georgia! Don’t do this. You could get hurt.” He tried to stand again only for the bolted-down bench to keep him firmly in place.

“And what about you? You could get hurt. You have so much ahead of you, I don’t want to be the reason you have nothing. I’m sorry.” Taking a step away, I turn my back on Royce only to hear him struggling against the bench.

By the time I made it to the appropriate hallway, I felt slightly less weighed down by my ailments.

Taking a step toward the thick sealed door, I hear a whistle from behind me and turn to see a guard jogging toward me.

“Sorry miss, this area is restricted.” The woman said rather bluntly, wedging her body between the door and me.

“Says who?” Crossing my arms, I tuck my shaking hands away.

“Says Mr. Stringer, your daddy. This hall is off limits.” She mockingly crossed her arms, leaning back against the door.

Of fucking course my father would bar even my entrance, fuck head.

Taking my lip gloss from my purse, I carefully wedge the wand between my middle and index finger. Sliding the gloss over my lips, I hold out the wand for her.

“Who do you think asked Daddy to keep people out? The last thing I needed was prying eyes looking at what’s mine.” Poking the end of the wand to her nose, the woman tightens her fist, wiping the dot of lip gloss from her nose.

“Your father is my boss, not you Ms. Stringer.” Having the lip gloss wand yanked from my hand, the woman tosses it down the hall. “I advise you to move.”

“Oh fiery, I like that. Let me ask you this though.” Taking the now topless tube of lip gloss from my purse, I give it a little shake. “One day my father will have to step down from his position and well, someone will need to fill his shoes. I’m sure someone of your background knows what succession is?” Dropping my lip gloss tube on the ground, I smile.

“Yes, I know.” The woman shifted from foot to foot, looking down at the tube. “So?”

“So pick it up,” I said motioning toward the tube.

“Excuse me?” She said, placing a hand over her chest. “Do I look like a custodian?”

“Do you want to? I can have you demoted without lifting a single hand. Now, pick it up.” Kicking the tube out, I smile when she kneels.

Watching her hand close around the tube, I place the front of my heel over her fingers applying enough pressure to cause her to wince.

“If I tell you to fling shit like an ape, you will fucking do it with a smile. Never make me have to repeat myself, do you understand?” I said, moving my foot from her hand. “Now, move.”

The woman’s forehead crinkled, a thick vein nestling between her brows.

“Hope the damn Blue rips you in half, cunt.” She said, spitting beside my feet.

“Womp womp, doggy bitch.” I said moving past the woman into the hall behind her.

As soon as the door slid closed, I couldn’t help but feel at odds with myself. I felt horrible. Speaking to someone that way, watching them grovel at my feet all because of a last name. However, it was sickeningly sweet watching someone bend at my will. I could see how this was addicting, how it was tempting to devour others to make sure you slept well at night. Once I went back to Earth would I fall back into my old ways of stepping on others to lift myself?

Shaking off the strange feeling, I walk down the hall, glancing between the plethora of heavy doors. Some rooms held little glass windows which allowed you to peek inside. However, when I looked through the third door, the realization of what was in these rooms dawned on me. Every single last one was filled with Pandora wildlife. They were locked in thick glass boxes, some of them in better condition than the others. The ones who were alive were lucky, some rooms simply had their bodies bobbing up and down within a pale liquid, their body parts severed.

What the fuck was going on here? Did Rina and Hughs know this?

My stomach lurched just thinking about what they could have done to Ik’tanhì. What if his beautiful body was crammed into some tube, his angelic features butchered like he was nothing but a cut of meat? When I made it to the last door at the end of the hall, I tried my best to steady my pounding heart. The last thing I needed was to fail when I was so close to seeing him again, alive or not. This room was different though. There was no window, not even on the door. Pushing open the door, I grunt against the heavy metal, tumbling into the room only to see Ik’tanhì’s back to my own.

The room was so cold, so lifeless, not even a plant to bring some color to the black-white square. On a table beside the wall sat his bow and arrows along with a bone knife. It was like they were preparing the items like some sort of sick trophy.

Taking a closer step toward the glass cage, I watch Ik’tanhì whip around, his fists slamming against the glass, his teeth bared. Seeing his chest heave, he calms down and says something I can’t understand, the glass too quick for me to hear him properly. Approaching the glass, I placed a hand over where he was. One of his eyes had a black ring around it, and his skin was covered in various scratches. It was clear that it took a lot to contain him.

“I’m going to get you out,” I said, sliding around to where the keypad was.

There was no place for a security card to go, only an old-school numpad.

“Fuck, Fuck.” I said, running my fingers through my hair.

Punching in a few numbers, I begin to panic when each four-number combo ends in nothing but an annoying buzz. My birthday, my father’s birthday, hell even a row of zeroes but nothing worked. Every number on the keypad had been worn down, it made me wonder just how many creatures had been locked away here.

“Think Georgia, fucking think.” Knocking my purse against the numpad, I hear the uncomfortable metal ring of the gun inside.

“Wait.” Turning my back to Ik’tanhì I go toward one of the desks in the room, yanking it open.

If there was one thing I picked up from being a music major was shit music. Shit music I didn’t feel like hearing fifty times a day.

Squatting down, I yank open the bottom desk and pull out a small bag of cotton balls and some little plastic bags. Yanking out a cotton ball I tear it in half, beginning to roll it into a ball of some sort. Wrapping the cotton balls in the plastic wrapping, I tuck them both into my ears.

Shit music made you get pretty handy with making your own shit. Yeah, I had all the money in the world and could have just gotten earplugs but there was something comforting about making my own.

Pulling my gun from my purse, I turn toward the numpad, and steady my aim the best I could. Steadying my breathing, I pull the trigger and watch the bullet bury itself into the numpad, causing it to fizzle off and pop off the side. Putting the gun away, I take a step toward the cage. Watching the glass door crack open, Ik’tanhì barrels through the door, his hands finding the side of my face and body. His moments were frantic as he looked at the bruises along my skin. I guess he’d been holding me so tight he didn’t notice until now.

“Are you okay, Keork’a? You were not moving, and I could not feel your heart.” His blue fingers slid down my cheek like I’d just disappeared from in front of him.

“You idiot, you’re the one imprisoned and you’re asking if I am fine. I’ll be fine when you’re free and out of here.” I said with a sad smile as he leaned forward, to press a kiss to my mouth. Pulling back, I hold my hands up against his chest. I couldn’t lie to him and kiss him, I couldn’t do that. “I need to tell you something first.”

In a sudden sharp blare, the alarm in the room began to go off.

The guard from earlier came inside, her gun aimed toward Ik’tanhì and me as she shouted something I could not hear.

“No!” I yelled, reaching for my purse, fumbling for my gun but I was too late, too slow, too human. Ik’tanhì was not human though. He shoved me aside, the bullet soaring between the both of us.

His movements were fluid as he moved through the air toward his bow. Grasping it in a matter of seconds he bounds off the wall, he swings the end of the bow out, slicing the woman’s hand from her arm. With a flick of his wrist the bow embedded itself into her chest, cleaving through her chest cavity. It was terrifying to watch. I knew Ik’tanhì was a hunter but I’d never seen him hunt anything that wasn’t an animal. Even then all kills were filled with mercy, these had no compassion behind them. I wondered if they were like animals to him, just as he was to them.

“Keork’a, we need to go.” He moved toward me, his chest heaving as he grasped my wrist.

“I know, I understand you but I really need to talk to you.” I pulled back, only to have him sweep me up into his arms.

“We can talk at the clan Keork’a. I will keep you safe there.” He left the room, his long legs carrying us both as if we were weightless.

His tired orange eyes darted from door to door looking for something, an exit. Breaking through the next hall, he continues his sprint down the hall, probably the door he’d been dragged into. The last part of Rina’s plan stood there at the emergency exit door, an exopack strapped to his back and a mask on his face. Dr. Hughs. He cranked the door open as he saw us approaching, sliding it open to reveal the outside world.

"Ik'tanhì!” I screamed at him, finally seeming to snap him out of the trance he was in. “We don’t have long. Please. Just listen to me, let me talk to you.”

His heart slammed against my body as he skidded to a halt beside Hughs. Placing me onto the ground, he looks between me and the door before turning to me nodding.

“Okay, I will listen but there are better times to speak, Keork’a.” He inched further away, one foot out of the door as he spoke. His eyes flickered on the hall behind me and then on my face.

“There are no better times. I need to tell you now because of what my father did, what he does.” The words caught in my throat, like a thick ball of wax I’d been trying to choke down for weeks.

“Toktor Hews is a fine man, Keork’a.” He said, motioning for me to come, his hand reaching out for mine. “We can bring him too.”

I tried to calm my heart and prayed I didn’t drop dead in front of him before I could say it.

“My father is not Dr. Hughs. My father is Charles Stringer.” The words I’d been struggling to say finally came out and with that Ik'tanhì finally looked at me properly, his eyes boring holes into mine as he stared.

I could see his emotions warping his face into something else. Something calm and angry and then something sickeningly sad. It was as if I’d taken his bow from his hands and buried it within his chest. His outstretched hand fell away, the space between us now greater than ever.

“What? You are lying,” His other foot pulled away from the facility, his hands free hand curling into a fist. “Please, tell me you are lying.”

Taking a step forward, I reach out for him only to watch him pull away, moving back a step further. I didn’t need him to move, the hurt in his eyes was enough to topple me.

“I wanted to tell you, I tried to tell you in the past but it was never the right time.” I felt the hot salty tears spilling down my cheeks as I spoke. “How do you tell your friend that their father took everything they ever had from them? I couldn’t hurt you like that, I couldn’t do it.”

I took a step forward, only for him to raise his bow upward, the sharp end just a step from my chest.

“So you lie to me?” He switched from the English he’d been speaking to Na’vi, his words strained as he spoke. “I let you into my home, Keork’a. I shared a nivi with you. Close enough to breathe the same air as you. You heard me tell you about my past. I let you into my life and you, you are his?”

He raised the bow, his arm shaking as he sliced through the air, the bow slicing the distance between us.

“Never come back, never! I don’t want to see you Keork’a Strinker.” He drew the bow back, stepping out into the grass behind him. “Sky people, you sky people. All you ever do is lie and destroy everything. Get away from me. If I ever see you again, I will…” He shook his head.

“Kill me?” I said, laughing. “I’m already dead.” Taking a step backward myself, I wipe my tears from my cheeks.

“I hate you.” He hissed and withdrew himself, his gaze locked on mine until he took off in a sprint into the thick jungle.

As if on some sick and twisted queue my father and his guards rounded the corner behind us, armed to the teeth with guns. Turning around, I see my father whose face is searing red, contorted in what I could only pray was anger. He didn’t look at me though, he turned to Hughs who was pulling his Exopack from his body.

“What the hell happened? Why the fuck did you let that thing escape?” He approached us, his hand gripping his gun, knuckles white from the strength of his clutch.

Stepping in between his body and Hughs I place my hands up.

“I did it. I forced Dr. Hughs to let me see the Na’vi. I thought it might have been the one who attacked me when I first came here.” Pulling my gun from my purse, I give it a small wiggle and laugh.

“Now why would you do that?” He said, approaching me.

“I didn’t know what else to get your attention. I thought maybe if I killed a blue it might make you proud but I failed. Dr. Hughs was the one who negotiated it letting me go.” Taking a step forward, I wrap my arms around my father.

Sniffling, I snake my arms around my father, so tightly that if he moved I might have dangled off his body.

“I failed you, I’m sorry.” I wept into his coat, his body tensing uncomfortably before relaxing.

”People died Georgia, this is going to cost a fortune to fix.” He said, pulling away from my hug.

“Good thing I’m marrying into a rich family then.” I smiled, wiping the rest of my tears off my face. “Let’s just, let this go. Let him go, he’s nothing but some stupid alien.” I demanded through my words, hoping my father would wave off his guards.

Patting my head, he sighs and holds a hand up to his guards.

”Anything for you, pumpkin. What’s one blue anyway? Just make sure you’re less reckless when that boy gets here.” He took my gun from my hands, slipping it back into my purse.

Part of me wished he’d just sent me back to Earth, another part wished Ik'tanhì would have yanked my heart from my body and just ended my suffering.

“Thank you, daddy. Now please excuse me.” I said, moving around my father and his wall of guards.

My walk back to my room was a silent one. From what I saw on the walk back Royce was no longer locked on the bench, the handcuffs half hanging from where I’d locked him down. Even the room was empty, and Rina was nowhere to be found. Pulling off my clothes, I throw myself into the shower, not even wanting to see my reflection to remove my makeup. Turning the water on, I began to scrub my skin clean. Maybe If I was lucky I could wash the memory of today off.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 14

I sat in front of Rina and I’s room window, my gaze focused on nothing in front of me in particular. I didn’t know how many days had passed by now but I was practically glued to this chair by now. I felt horrible, inside and out and it was all my fault.

I begged Hughs to let me into my other body but I was swiftly shot down. He said he feared that I might go chase after Ik’tanhì and he was right. I didn’t know what I would say or do to make things better but I wanted to see him, to hold him and say sorry.

“Are you going to sit in this room and rot all day?” Rina said, stepping out of the bathroom.

Sitting there in silence, I say nothing. I didn’t feel like saying yes, I didn’t feel like talking.

“Staring out the window isn’t going to make him come back. I don’t think he is coming back Georgia.” She said, the sound of her sitting on the bed filling the empty silence of the room. “You need to move on with things. It is horrible, it sucks I know but sitting around won’t help you.”

“If I wanted to be nagged at, I would have just called Hughs here,” I said, looking behind me to see Rina inches away from me.

“And if I wanted back talk, I would have bunked with Royce.” She snapped, turning the chair I was in toward her.

“He said he hates me, Rina!” Raising my voice, I stand up and push her back onto the bed. “So sorry if I’m not in the mood to hear bitching!”

“Oh, and I’m in the mood to smell you rotting away in front of a window all day?” She, pulling me down onto the bed.

“Better than bunking up with someone who can’t even pick up their own clothes! Were you raised in a pigsty?” I said moving on top of her, pinning her beneath me and the bed.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t raised with someone holding my hand for everything, I’m sorry I’m busy and I can’t laze around all day,” Rina said, throwing her weight to the side, pinning me under her.

“Just let me fucking die in peace!” I yell, my body going limp under her own.

“No! I’m not going to let you die in peace, I’m not going to let you die at all. You little spoiled brat.” Rina said, sitting on my hips. “Even now, all you do is think about yourself. Did you ever stop for a moment that there are people who actually care about you? Hughs literally risked his ass to help you free Ik’tanhì, he has his own life to worry about and he risked it all for you. Royce almost lost his Avatar for you! He is barely making enough to pay for his father’s treatments and that alone would have put him in a lifetime amount of debt. I don’t let myself get close to people Georgia, I care about you and you want to die? You’re selfish, you’re spoiled and you’re so self-absorbed you can’t even notice that the people in front of you fucking care!”

“So you hate me too?” I said, feeling my nose begin to sting.

“I never said that.” Rina pulled her body off mine, taking a seat beside me on the bed. “You’re a product of your father’s fucked up parenting and that’s not your fault. You’re not Charles, you’re you.” She said, tugging her towel up her chest. “Royce told me you locked him to that bench so he wouldn’t get hurt and Hughs said you practically became a shield for him. You’re reckless but your heart is in the right place. So please, don’t let yourself sit here and fester all because you feel like you don’t deserve to live. You lied to protect someone, you’re not some kind of monster.”

Looking up at Rina, I cross my arms and look toward the window. Nothing changed, there was no Na’vi coming and if he did he’d probably still hate me.

“You could have said the nice things only.” Sitting up, I looked down at myself and she was right, I was a mess.

“I rarely express myself, you’re lucky I didn’t just yell at you,” Rina said, pointing to the bathroom. “Now go, we have things we need to do.”

I felt better physically. Turns out a hot shower and some simple soup were enough to bring some color back to my cheeks. I didn’t have the patience to wear something that wasn’t sweats or slippers though. Which only made things worse due to the fact that I was now outside in Rina’s algae bubble. Taking a seat at the edge of the bubble, I curl up and stare out in the distance for any hint of blue.

“You’re out? Huh.” Royce said, taking a seat beside me in the grass. His hair was freshly shaven on the sides, along with his beard which was nothing but stubble now.

“Are you going to yell at me now?” I said, searching the tree line for any sign of life.

“Nah, I think Rina is better at that than I am. If you start frowning I’m just gonna cave.” He chuckles, touching his stubble.

“Good, I’m scared to fight her but I’m not scared to fight you.” Wriggling my slippers around, I look down at my feet with a heavy sigh.

“I did bring something for you though.” Reaching behind his back, Royce produces the tablet I’d left in the jungle. “I figured hearing your mother might make you feel better.”

Gingerly taking the tablet from Royce, I hug it to my chest. I’d been so tied up in my own sadness that I forgot I left my valuables in the jungle.

“Georgia?” Hughs said, stepping over to my corner of the bubble. In his hands, he held an identical tablet.

“My mother sent another message?” I asked, holding a hand out for the device.

“No, this tablet is blank. It’s for sending a video back.” Hughs seemed to hesitate for a moment before sitting in the grass beside us. “I thought you might like to say hi to your mother. You missed last mail day so, I just thought this might help.”

“Thank you, Dad,” I said jokingly, turning the tablet in my hands.

“You’re welcome, kid.” He sighed, quickly standing off the grass. “Nice to see you outside again.” Hughs smiled, reaching down to pat my head.

Standing up, I press record on the device holding it up into the air.

“Hi Momma, come pick me up immediately,” I said with a small giggle.

“Aww come on, we aren’t that bad,” Royce said, standing up. Having him snatch the tablet from my hands, he winks and hands it back.

“And that’s Royce and no, I know what you’re probably thinking, and no,” I said, as Royce jokingly held the area over his heart.

Turning the camera around, I go over toward Rina who is wiping sweat from her brow.

“I look horrible Georgia.” She said as she stuffed another slice of cucumber into her mouth.

“I think you look cute, like a chipmunk.” Taking a seat beside her, Rina rolls her eyes and holds out a slice for me to eat.

“Girls.” Dr. Hughs said, walking into the frame, a clipboard in his hands.

“And this is Dr. Hughs. Handsome right? Marry him so he can be my new daddy.” I said jokingly as Dr. Hughs waved into the camera.

“Georgia, this is a multimillion-dollar message you’re using it to make jokes.” He scolded, walking over to cover the camera for a second.

Pausing the video, I pull the tablet toward me.

“If my shithead father wants to spend millions to let me write digital letters I think we should let him. Hell, Royce send one back home to your dad.” I called out across the grass.

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,” Royce calls out, with a smile. “Gotta show my old man around, maybe it will make him stir a bit.” He said as he jogged over to us.

Taking a piece of cucumber from Rina’s bowl, she smacks my hand and I step away from the table.

Holding the tablet up again, I press record and smile.

“I would show you Ik’tanhì but he’s angry with me. I kinda deserve it though. I lied to him, I’ll explain it better once I get home and get that new heart. I hope Dad doesn’t tell you about that. Marriage, a new heart, and my life all planned out for me.” Laughing I point the camera toward the Pandoran jungle. “The only good thing your husband is good for is his money. After agreeing to up the amount of grandkids he wanted to three, he got me some special paints. I hate him, how did you put up with him?”

Thinking for a moment, I sigh and shake out my afro a little. I’d opted to wear my hair in its natural state for once.

“I’m really happy to have made all these friends here. Back on Earth, I don’t think any of us would have even looked at each other but they all make me feel loved, like I’m important. Royce helped me stay fit to keep my ticker going nice and strong. Oh and Rina? She’s my roommate. I think this is what it feels like to have a big sister maybe? We share things, I never shared before so it was pretty fun.” Giggling, I nod my head back toward Dr. Hughs. “Then there is Hughs. He talks to me about how I feel and he actually listens. He even makes sure I eat and if I feel bad he checks up on me. I kinda wonder if this is what it feels like to have a dad. Like, one that actually likes you?”

Pausing, I begin to gently poke the soft soil.

“Oh and then there are my Na’vi friends. I don’t really have much but I think you would like Nguyo. He’s like a fish person but think more friendly and hot. I think he likes me, not that I’m like throwing my Na’vi ass around.”

Feeling an uncomfortable heat creep up my cheeks, I look over my shoulder calling out to Rina.

“Please fucking tell me I can delete certain things from the video?”

“Nope!” Rina said, holding up a fork full of cucumber.

“Language, young lady!” Hughs said, pointing a pen at me.

“Perfect, great. Well, Momma. Just imagine I didn’t bring that up. Anyway, I have a lot more to tell you and I didn’t prepare a song or anything. I just miss you. Maybe when I get home I can visit your rehab and if my friends like they can come with me to visit. You’ll be all pruned when I get there but you’ll still be the prettiest woman there.” I tease, kissing the tablet screen. “I love you, momma.”

Ending the video, I walk back over to Hughs and I pass him the tablet.

I’d be lying if I said the prospect of hearing from my mother again didn’t make me feel happier.

Glancing toward Rina, I see her fingering through her photo album again, looking over members of the Tipani. Moving behind her, I wrap my arms around her shoulders and place my head on her own. Taking one of her cucumbers again, I stop her once she passes by a long list of names.

“Is this everyone from Ik’tanhì’s clan who passed away here?” My throat tightened a little just from thinking about how we lived on a burial ground.

“Yes? Why do you ask?” Rina carefully slipped the paper from the album, handing it to me. “We actually had a funeral for them all a long time ago. I took down all the names.” Rina paused, gulping down her drink as if to wash the sad topic from her mouth.

“I’ve seen these names before actually. Ik’tanhì has all these arrows in his mauri, each one from someone in his clan I assume.” Turning the paper over, I skim down the list. “I have an idea for what I can finally do with all my paint.”

“Dylan Royce if you drop me, I will personally kick your ass.” I huffed as Royce held a steady grip on my thighs.

It was our third day outside and I’d grown rather accustomed to our daily outings.

“You know Georgia. Maybe if my head wasn’t sandwiched between your thighs this would be a little easier.” Royce said, as I carefully dragged my fingers along the side of the mural I was making.

Rina and Hughs were behind us both, their masks strapped to their faces as they watched us. The two of them had been mumbling to one another and squatted over a small bundle of flowers. I’d managed to convince my father to let me send a few more video messages but in reality, I’d snuck in two for Royce and only one more for myself. I still felt guilty about chaining him to the bench that day. Lucky for me though, Hughs propped up the tablet and began filming and pausing when asked.

“If I sing you a song after will that make you feel better? Costs millions on Earth.” Dipping my fingers into the small pot of indigo paint between my knuckles, I begin tracing small wisps along the wall.

“A song? As long as it’s not the kind drawing wild animals out of the forest.” He took a step to the side, flinching when I fisted a handful of his hair to steady myself.

“You two look like that one movie about the rat and the chef,” Rina called out with a laugh.

“Huh?” I looked over my shoulder back at her, only to hear Royce mutter a prayer.

“It’s like super old, you two wouldn’t understand.” She said, potting something that looked like a potato.”

Royce raised me off of his shoulders, setting me down on the ground. Everyone seemed to be getting the pep back in their step this afternoon. Probably due to my lack of crying or whining about everything that happened.

“I think I’m pretty much done. Just need to pray it doesn’t rain or anything.” I glimpsed over the mural feeling less rusty than I had the first day.

Due to the lack of space, the mural had to be split between two windows. The entire wall had been painted shades of blue and indigo, each part sectioned like a story. On the left side, there was the tree of voices, its beautiful pinkish purple coiled and sprouted into hundreds of wisps, each with a name etched under it. Lately, there was Ik'tanhì in all his glory, dressed like one of his people. Part of me wondered if he would ever see this, if he would ever care but I didn’t make it for him. I made it to help put a bandage over the gaping wound my father left in his wake. It wasn’t much but it was the beginning of a long line of sins I hoped to repay.

Placing my paints down in the grass, I brush my hands down my shirt covering the little logo across the front.

“Sing time, I haven’t sung for my mother in years so if she sends me a letter back saying she doesn’t like it, I’ll lose it,” Walking over to Hughs, I point to the tablet. “Can you prop up the tablet, please? And I’m rusty so don’t bully me.” I said, scratching my cheek, leaving an indigo stripe across my cheek.

Watching Royce take a seat in front of me, he gives me a thumbs up, a goofy smile on his goofy face.

“Beautiful stranger sitting right there, Looked up at me and my dark curly hair, Looked back for a second, didn't want to be rude, I tend to fall in love on the tube, Mm.” I paused, my eyes closing as I imagined the faint sound of instruments in my mind. “Beautiful stranger sitting right there, Reading the newspaper, stuck to his chair, I swore that he smiled and I felt my heart drop, Heard the doors open, came to my stop, Mm.”
As I sang, Ik'tanhì's face fluttered through my mind. I wonder if he would have liked to hear my singing. Or maybe he’d hear me singing from the jungle and come back to tell me to shut up. I didn’t care as long as he showed me any emotion, anything to show he would be okay with seeing me again.

“What if I hadn't left the train, At Ladbroke Grove? Would I know his name? Maybe we would have exchanged a few words, A fairy-talе moment could have occurred, But my bеautiful stranger will have to remain, A stranger until I see him again, see him again. Mm-mm.”

“That was so pretty Georgia,” Rina said, pausing the tablet.

“Nothing compared to what my mother can do,” I said with a sappy smile. “But thank you.”

I took a step toward Rina only to feel an uncomfortable shiver move down my spine. Looking up into the jungle, I see no signs of life, which was never a good sign.

I felt like the yerik in the woods, and who knew, maybe I was someone’s yerik.

“I think I need to go inside now,” I said, taking hold of Royce who also seemed to tense up.

“Are you sure? The weather-” Hughs said pointing his spade to the sky.

“I said I want to go inside now.” I snapped, that strange feeling putting me into fight or flight.

“…I understand,” Hughs said, standing up from the ground.

We all went back inside together, and as we entered the building I could have sworn we were being watched.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 15

After ages, I finally got every medical stamp of approval to go back into my Na’vi body. Ever since my little jungle excursion my father now wanted all logs of me going in and out of my other body, which resulted in us sending stiff formal letters to one another. Also, just the thought of seeing his face sickened me. Ever since he learned my real weakness he’d gone beyond just threatening Royce. His malice now trickled down to Rina and Hughs as well.

The return to my Avatar body was a challenging one though. While it was similar to resting, I still felt like I’d been curb-stomped from the lack of movement or eating.

Sitting up slowly, I hold back the groan of pain building in my throat. I’d been laid in Ik’tanhì’s hammock, obviously untouched by the way the woven net imprinted on my skin. Scanning around the marui, I’m surprised by the massive elephant in the room. It looked near vacated, empty of all the life and joy that once painted its walls. Every arrow, armor piece, and a little piece of decor was just gone. Hell, the only things left behind were the hammock I laid on, my human-made clothes, and about anything I’d touched. As if my very scent was enough to drive him away from our shared space.

“At least I’m alive,” I muttered to myself, swinging my legs off the hammock.

I was surprised he’d not killed or sliced off my kuru in my sleep but that wasn’t Ik’tanhì. After all, he was assigned to protect me and maybe keeping me away was his way of keeping me safe.

Standing up slowly, I stretch my stiff limbs and sigh. I promised myself I wouldn’t mope around, it’s not like I got dumped or something. Leaving the marui, I reach around the side, trying to grasp one of the spears we’d been using for fishing.

“What the” Peering around the side of the marui I see he’d not even left me a spear. I didn’t even have the skill to make my own.

“Teylu it is then.” I rubbed my stomach, praying the growling was only picked up by my ears. “Wash first.” Gathering the small supplies Ik’tanhì had left behind, I thanked the stars that I touched the hygiene items.

Making my way away from the maruis I sigh and roll my shoulders. Everything seemed louder when you weren’t so focused on well, yourself.

The laughter of the small children, the sound of the ocean crashing along the sand, and the slight rustling of the palm trees. It was actually rather nice to let the gentle hum fill my mind along with everything else.

Making it to the sea wall terrace I pop a squat between the ocean’s edge and the large freshwater pools. Wasting no time, I begin to scrub myself clean along with scrubbing the inside of my mouth, making sure to scrub my canines.

“Keork’a!” A strangely happy voice practically sang from behind me.

Looking over my shoulder, I see a young woman coming toward me, a bright smile on her angelic face. She reminded me of a walking breathing Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun painting, effortlessly soft and beautiful. Her jet black hair fell in gentle waves down to her waist, the very top of her hair braided down to her head. Her eyes were the very color of the ocean itself, not the ocean at night glowing but the ocean when it was clear and teeming with life. I knew her name, I’d seen her around the clan before usually sitting in the sand with the other women when they were preparing to fish. However, this was the first time I’d seen her so close or even heard her address me.

“Ah, you are awake, Keork’a! I see you.” She gestured and looped her arm into mine. “You were asleep for so long, I worried.”

Her round belly nearly brushed against me as she sat beside me in the wave pool. From how low her belly was, it seemed as if her baby were going to drop any day now, yet she seemed livelier than ever. I wonder if it would have been rude to ask her when her child was coming.

“I see you, Yula’vo,” I said, continuing to wash my skin. I was still adjusting to the people just coming up on you when you were naked sorta thing. “Did Ik’tanhì tell you to watch after me?”

She gave me a smile my mother often gave to trick-or-treaters who came to our house, one of confusion but kindness.

“Do you not know?” She asked gently, her hand resting on her stomach. “Well of course you don’t. You were asleep.” She rubbed the top of her stomach in slow circles. “The men are gone to hunt at the deep sea, they will not be back for some time.”

Reached around her back, taking off a small basket she’d brought with her.

“We need to speak.” She demanded more than asked, her tone still calm. Placing her basket between my legs, she fishes out some plant fibers along with a few strips of leather and fur. “You are like the runt of a litter, Keork’a. Small, left to their own. You keep to yourself and you are prickly.” She was blunt but said everything with a smile all the while stretching the soft talioang leather and fur across her swollen belly. “Do you not enjoy being here?” She asked in the same breath, her eyes looking straight into mine.

Taken aback by her bluntness, I feel my cheeks fill with an unfamiliar warmth. Did I actually enjoy being here or did I just enjoy not being Georgia Stringer? I looked down at my rich blue fingers, my mouth twisting to the side.

“I do enjoy being here, I just don’t think I fit in well, there is not much I can bring to the clan. Whenever I get too close to the others they recoil in disgust. You are one of the first to actually speak to me willingly.” Admitting it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I wondered if in my first few days here I’ve been the one to isolate myself like they saw. After all, I’d not exactly done much aside from following Ik’tanhì around like a little puppy.

“I heard that you can paint and sing, from Nguyo.” She said the last slowly, her eyes sizing me up and down.

My heart fell into my stomach as I looked down at her pregnant belly, her hands effortlessly sewing. Was this his mate? Did I cross some unknown boundaries and this was my hey girl talk? Who would have thought I was breaking some sort of weird Na’vi girl code?

“My brother wishes to see these skills, he thinks it could help you. Would you show me?” She said after looking down at my grasp on the sand.

His sister? Sister, okay. I kind of wished she was his mate. Now it felt like I was having the parental talk dads usually gave their kids’ partners.

“Of course, I could show you. Back on my home planet, they’re more hobbies than skills of mine.” I said, releasing the sand from my grasp. “In return would you be up for teaching me things like how to make spears and sewing? I don’t think singing or painting will be enough to help the clan alone.” I chuckled and she nodded.

“If I am going to help you, I think the first thing you should do is dispose of your sky people clothes you keep in your marui. They smell and I do not favor them, neither does my child.” She said rubbing her stomach.

“Deal.”

When I was back in my human body, I’d been putting my focus into building up my heart’s strength, just spending hours in the gym with Rina and Royce. If I wasn’t on the treadmill or in a swimming pool, I was with my father discussing the terms of my future marriage. Everything with him became an exchange.

I wanted to go into my Na’vi body for the day. That was a year of marriage. I wanted to give my money, his money, to Royce for messages to his father. That was a grandchild. At this point, I’d practically signed away my life to the devil. I felt like a lost soul in the shell of my human body.

My days spent with the Katotxampay felt like my real body at this point, like becoming my human self was some sort of sick and twisted hell. I tried my best to let those thoughts go and to focus on my happiness for as long as I was allowed to have it. Even Cinderella’s carriage turned into a pumpkin, so who was I to complain? This Cinderella had a hell of a fairy godmother though.

Yula’vo as sweet as she was, was one hell of a teacher. I think if she ever met Royce they’d both meet their match. Her first lesson for me was simple manners and then using them to introduce myself to everyone in the clan. Apparently, I’d pissed in a few cornflakes by just parading around like I owned whatever I touched. You’d think greeting hundreds of pissed-off Na’vi would be harder but after Yula’vo’s Keork’a isn’t an asshole, just stupid campaign things began to lighten up. I was even able to approach certain spaces and sit with the others. My favorite thing was sitting among them and answering questions they had about sky people. What did we eat, what do we do on our planet, if it was true that we act or do certain things? It was fun like I’d finally been allowed to sit with the other kids at lunch.

Yula’vo’s next lesson was one of humility. At the moment the woman of the clan stood around in the water, their hands having to hoist me up due to my size and age. After permission from the Tsahìk, I was to go through a number of rituals to truly become one within the clan. This one I was preparing for was known as the first breath. Typically this ceremony was for pregnant women and their newborns. The Tsahìk would help the mother give birth to a child that emerged from their womb straight into the water. Yula’vo explained that it was because of the connection to the water which was their second home. Newborns had to swim out of the water on their own, showing their transition from water to air with ease. They said that the tulkun were usually present for it but I’d not been in the position to have my own spiritual sister.

As they held me, the sweet hum in the back of my mind came back in threefold. The Tsahìk was gentle as she held my head and began to sing something beautiful and haunting. Her hands like the other women’s released me into the water. Letting my body sink, I try to steady my breathing under the calming waters. Everything was so quiet down here, so peaceful. Kicking up toward the surface, wiping the ocean’s water from my vision. Floating in the water, I watch the Tsahìk easily wade toward me.

In her hands, she held a small line twice, along with a small blue bread of sea glass embedded in a small shell.

”This is for you Keork’a.” She said with a kind smile.

I’d seen it before, a songchord. I’d touched Ik’tanhì’s own one morning and he’d explained it to me with pride in his voice. It felt silly now knowing I thought it was nothing but a trinket.

“Thank you.” I grin, taking the songchord and bead from her hands.

Gliding toward her in the water, I wrap my arms around her in a hug, my hand gently patting the woman’s back.

Small gasps were heard from the women around me, especially when the Tsahìk awkwardly hugged me back.

“You are still like a child, aren’t you?” She said, withdrawing from the hug, holding me in her arms still. “You still have a lot to learn Keork’a. Do not get too eager to celebrate.”

And she was right, my next few ceremonies were a bit harder. Learning to hunt in the water, learning to swim properly. It all felt like it was happening so fast and by the time the week came to its end, I was recoiling from my Iknimaya. It was pure hell. I’d managed to barely tame a tsurak, barely. She was quite feisty when I first mounted her, thrashing me around in the water. Even going as far as to draw me beneath the surface like she wished to drown me. I’d nearly lost an eye to one of her yellowish-pink wings when they sprang up from the water.

Yula’vo laughed, telling me it was because I’d been so nervous and that I needed to calm down. In return I’d told her to kindly be quiet which resulted in her tossing a small piece of fish into the water, sending my tsurak into a stir once more. I’d finally managed to calm her down and now I sat on her back in the ocean. My hand gently patted down the curve of her spine.

Zunu and I calmly glid through the waters, her beautiful head dipping into the water. Today was another day in the string of days I’d spent out on the open waters looking for Tulkun. It was around the time of the year that the Tulkun began to migrate toward the clan but they seemed to be coming later than usual. I hated to keep my lips sealed but I knew why, my father. The RDA had been hunting the poor creatures down, changing their direction anytime the Na’vi caught wind of them. Today seemed calmer though, all I found were schools of fish, sea beds filled with coral, and the sun which beat down on me.

I’d spent so much time in my Na’vi body lately that hearing of everything my father did made me feel not sad, but angry. I couldn’t even bear to enjoy sleeping in the room I’d shared with Rina. Instead, I’d opted to sleep in her little algae bubble, anything to be outside the RDA building and away from my father. I hated him. I didn’t feel like his daughter anymore, hell I didn’t even feel human. I felt like a restless soul stuffed into a dying bargaining chip for him at this point. He didn’t care about Pandora, he didn’t even care about me. All he cared about was lining his pockets. I couldn’t blame him alone though, even the body I’d inhabited now was born from the money he’d accumulated from his genocidal behavior.

Feeling my tsurak began to stir, she rears back, her wings flapping quickly. Taking my spear from my back, I poke the water’s surface. Usually, she only made a fuss if she were hungry. Yet, there were no fish in the water right now, the ocean was clear.

“What’s wrong Zunu? Are you tired” I said, stroking down her side as a pang of panic ran through our connection.

Lurching forward with her, we dart across the surface of the water when a large fish snaps its head toward us, its large body arching over us and out of the water while its maw spliced into three sections, revealing row after row of jagged sharp teeth.

“Zunu!” Steering her to the right and downward, we dart beneath the water’s surface, my heart racing against my ribcage.

In my mind, I could see flashes of the beast, a weird amalgamation of a shark’s body with a serpent’s mouth. I watched helplessly as it tore through the flesh of other creatures. This wasn’t myfeelings or memories though, it was all from Zunu. She’d encountered these creatures before and survived but now she had me on her back. I could feel that they were too close, that my body was too heavy and slowing her down.

Behind us, the beast launched itself forward, its mouth barely missing the end of Zunu’s body. I’d never heard of any threats being this close to the village, usually all issues are laid by the sea wall. Why the hell would it be so close? Was it hunger that drove it closer? I knew it wanted to live, I could tell from the way it continued to trail after us but I knew Zunu wanted to live, and so did I.

Surfacing from the water, I gather my breath, blinking away salt water. Directing Zunu through a maze of coral cutting from the water, I look back to see the beast slicing through the coral like a laser through the ice. In its path laid small floating chunks of jagged coral, some of the pieces embedded in the creature’s thick platelets. I couldn’t let Zunu die, I couldn’t let myself die.

Veering away from the path of the coral, I directed Zunu toward the open water, hoping we could outpace the beast in a straight sprint. I felt a surge of adrenaline as I urged Zunu forward, the monstrous creature hot on our heels. I tried my best to think calming thoughts but nothing went through. It was like trying to tame a storm with nothing but a blow dryer and a weather vane.

My thoughts were interrupted by the loud sound of buzzing overhead, a familiar mechanical whirring. Looking into the sky, I try to shield my eyes only to see a seawasp following above.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” I said, watching the seawasp dart in the sky.

At first glance, I thought it might have been watching me until I noticed a large shadow gliding within the water. It wasn’t following me, it was following a tulkun. Turning my attention back toward the water, I see three boats approaching at a rapid pace, each one armed with a harpoon at the front.

This is what they did? This was the way my father had his goonies do their hunting? I knew it was horrible but to see them surrounding these peaceful creatures turned my stomach inside out.

“Zunu, under!” I cried out, as she began to resist a little, her mind still on the creature that chased after us. “Please,” I said, tightening my hold on her reigns.

Feeling her give in, she pulls me downward, the weird shark-like creature mere seconds away from us. My mind buzzed with what to do. If I slowed down, the animal chasing after us would tear us apart but if I went toward the RDA ships they’d probably blow a hole through my chest with their harpoons.

Think Georgia, think! I tried my best to focus, only to watch a harpoon narrowly miss Zunu and me, the sharp tip slicing into the creature's belly. That’s it, that’s fucking it.

Making a sharp turn toward the boats, I begin to count down the seconds, our bodies on a collision course with the boats. I could feel Zunu’s anxiety skyrocketing, but she kept straight.

Now! Turning Zunu’s reigns, we both go horizontal under the boat barely sliding beneath the bottom side. Looking behind us, I see the creature drawing its body against the underside of the boat, its thick armor-like skin slicing through the metal, cutting the boat in half in the process.

Surfacing, I gulp in the air only to see a red canister flying down toward Zunu and me.

“Fuck, wait!” Before I could stop her, she reared backward, slamming my body harshly against the surface of the water, our kurus separating in the process.

Watching the water blur with crimson, I touch my body panicking. I’d felt it, I felt the tag bury itself straight through my chest. Yet, when I felt for a hole there was nothing there. Looking through the murky waters I watch Zunu thrash around, her body sinking to the bottom of the ocean bed with a heavy tag embedded in her chest. Swimming down toward her body as she continues to sink, I grasp onto the tag, attempting to pull it from her chest, even after her body goes limp. They killed her, they fucking killed her without a second thought. She died because she wanted to protect me because she just wanted to live. Wrenching the tag from her chest, I give her a small shake, my tears mingling with the ocean.

Looking above me, I watch the creature from earlier slowly begin to regain its consciousness as its teeth tear through the men on the sinking half of the boat. This was their fault, they just did as they pleased without anyone else in mind. It wasn’t my fault if they reaped what they sowed. Taking her body lower within the water, I place her in an orange anemone bed, praying a silent prayer for her.

Pulling my fallen spear from the sea bed, I swim toward the surface toward the closest boat. Pulling myself aboard, I quickly count the men aboard, three of them. Two who piloted the ship and one who stood behind the harpoon, his eyes widened with fear as he stared me down.

Watching the man with the harpoon, he points it toward me and I quickly dart to the side. Hissing at the man, Ik’tanhì and Yula’vo’s lessons flood my mind like hot liquid metal, casting a freshly formed sword. I’d hunted for fish but these people weren’t fish, they weren’t even human. They were creatures trying to take my life. My father wanted me to act like him. Fine. I’d act like him.

Time felt slower as I thrust my spear forward, driving it through the man’s chest. Yanking the spear up with his body still attached, I fling his corpse into the ocean only to watch the shark creature devour it whole.

“Crazy bitch!” Screamed one of the pilots as he left the safety of his little glass box. “Blue cunt.” He cocked his gun, firing a shot by my head. Moving toward him, I jam the spear into his chest cavity, before lifting him into the air on the end, blood dripping from his mouth onto my face.

Smearing the warm red liquid from my face I smile.

“Am I still blue?” I said in English, before chuckling his body toward the edge of the boat. Watching the creature throw its body around, it body slams into the side of the ship, submerging half of the ship into the water.

Carefully climbing onto the side of the ship I look down to see the last captain scrambling for the exit. Pressing my spear down on the exit door, I watch as the shark-like creature slams into the glass once more, causing the cabin to fill with water. In a matter of seconds, the man was nothing but shreds.

Slipping from the blood coating my hands and feet, I fall back into the water, my spear sinking to the ocean floor. I didn’t have enough time to get it, the creature still seemed hungry, its body still slamming into the glass captain’s cabin for more. Looking out toward the Tulkun, it opens its mouth, and a small calf exits, its little body nestling against her side. Grasping onto the boat beside me, it flips back on its bottom and I pull myself aboard, narrowly missing the teeth of the shark-like creature. I had no weapons on me and I was stranded.

Looking around the front of the ship, I see the harpoon the man had shot at me earlier. Quickly moving toward the harpoon, I begin to reel in the heavy chain as the shark slides its heavy body onto the back of the boat, slamming down as it tries to inch itself toward me. Turning around with the harpoon, I aim it toward the shark, its black razor-sharp teeth inching closer and closer to my body.

Looking into its eyes panting, I watch the animal thrash around, its face covered in blood. There I was, a mirror of the creature before me, carving through body after body.

“You’re just hungry, it’s not your fault.” Speaking to myself more than the beast, I look around to see the boat is now half submerged in the water, the shark’s heavyweight tilting us upward. “It’s not us, we’re not the beasts, it’s them.”

Throwing my legs forward, I hooked them around the base of the harpoon so it was now aimed toward the sky.

“Don’t screw me over now,” I said as the creature lurched forward, sending the boat up a little more. Cranking the harpoon knobs forward, I watch the metal arrow soar through the air, striking through the bottom of the seawasp.

“Yes!” Crying out in joy, it’s quickly replaced by horror when I watch the seawasp spin in a circle, slamming down into the last boat, causing the boat I’m in to jerk forward. Watching the opposing boat burst into flames, it begins to sink, dragging down the hunk of metal I stood on. Quickly jumping off the boat, I dive down avoiding the shark’s gaping mouth, only to have the creature’s lower fin slam into my back, knocking the air from my chest. Instinctively gasping for air, I feel the water rush into my lungs. Clutching my throat, I begin to choke on the salty seawater, my hands clawing toward the surface. I was exhausted, my lungs burned and the ocean began to feel lighter, weightless almost. Seeing black spots cloud my vision, I kick once more toward the surface closing my eyes, my body going limp on the ocean’s floor.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 16

I sat up gasping, the seawater burning my throat and lungs as I violently hacked it up. Looking up at my trembling fingers they are nothing but a blur due to my sea water-filled vision. The last thing I remembered was drifting to the bottom of the ocean and now here I was, washed up on some large hard rock. I was more surprised I wasn’t lodged in the belly of that shark back there, that I’d somehow managed to survive.

Turning on my side, I cough again, reaching into my mouth to pull out small strings of sea grass only to see the ocean gliding by. When I first left the clan it was morning and now the sun seemed to be at its peak in the sky. Looking across the glimmering water, I lick my lips, slowly forcing myself to sit upward, the taste of blood fresh on my lips.

Oh yeah, I killed someone, I killed multiple people with my own hands. During the moment it was surreal, all I could see was Zunu’s body and then pure unadulterated rage. It was comforting to get revenge for Zunu, for the Tulkun, for the Na’vi. I was more worried by the fact that I didn’t feel regret, just hunger for more. I killed humans with real lives, people who couldn’t wake up in another body, and all I could do was laugh and try to pull the red from my stained fingertips. If I didn’t kill them then they would have killed me and an innocent tulkun and her calf.

“What if they try to take this out on the clan,” I said, gripping my fingers tighter. “What if you just started a war, idiot.”

No one knew it was me though, I should shoulder the blame for this. I didn’t know how long I’d been asleep but something told me I would have been woken up in my human form by now, never to touch my Na’vi body again. The fact that I even reawakened in my avatar was telling enough to know that they didn’t know it was me. That their precious little ships now lay at the bottom of the ocean because of their future heiress.

In the blink of an eye I’d been pulled from my nightmarish thoughts by the tender hum of the stone I sat on, or at least I thought it was a stone.

Blinking the seawater from my vision, my eyes sweep over the ocean only to see that I’m not on a stone, but the back of the Tulkun from earlier. It was easy to see that it was her considering the slightly pale plates on her back, one of them having a deep X-shaped scar on it. She continued her humming, her fin gently grazing the surface of the water.

I didn’t know how I got onto her back but I was just grateful that I wasn’t ass up in some seagrass at the bottom of the ocean. Sliding down onto her fin, I simply stare at her, drinking in her beauty. It was my first time seeing these ethereal creatures and word of mouth simply didn’t compare. Her skin was a beautiful rich shade of blue, almost the same color as the Na’vi but deeper in shade. From here I could make out that her underbelly was a beautiful pearly white.

Looking into her large beautiful orange eyes, I smile and try my best to sign a thank you to her. Her front iris squared off at the ends like a goat, as it widened.

I just hoped I didn’t offend her. Learning Na’vi sign language was slightly more difficult due to having an extra finger. Usually, I’d only had to use it when I was underwater and signing between the clan members and myself.

Her beautiful amber eyes seemed to almost shimmer and brighten as she hummed back at me. It was oddly comforting to hear her song, the tremors themselves like that of a humpback.

Watching her mouth part, the small calf from earlier peeks its head out before swimming beside its mother’s fin. I could faintly see her eyes soften as she looked at her calf and then back toward me. She let out a series of high-pitched squeals that shook the waters, causing her calf to mimic her.

“I am happy to help.” I signed, patting her fin. “Your calf is beautiful.” Reaching a hand down into the waters I lean over and gently touch the calf’s soft outer skin. It made me wonder if their plates hardened from surfacing for air, like whales back on Earth.

We all sat in silence, my hands reaching out every now and again to brush her fin or her calf, anything to distract me from the worry building in the back of my head.

I couldn’t shake the sickening feeling that I’d wake up to see my friends murdered for my own sins.

Laying flat on my stomach, on her fin I sigh and I look into her eye only for her to blink twice slowly dipping under the water. Gripping the front of her fin, I inhale as she takes us beneath the water with her calf in tow. Fighting to open my eyes some, I relax and allow my sight to adjust. Looking around us, I see a pod of turtle-like creatures swim beneath us. I’d been under the water before but only near the clan where the coral and animals were smaller, everything in the middle of the sea felt so large. Schools of iridescent fish, colonies of rainbow-colored coral, and soft sea sponge all breezed past us.

Reaching outward, I gently brush my fingers along the surface of the water where the ocean met the sky. It was beautiful like this large blue world was the truth and the other was some unknown ocean. Feeling the hum of the tulkun reverberate through my body, I smile not caring that the water threatened to push between my teeth and into my mouth. Being hoisted from the water, I take in another gulp of fresh air before being pulled back under, the sensation stinging for a moment.

Being pulled down in a sudden sharp incline, she glides toward a pod of txampaysye. Reaching a hand out into the pod, I slip my fingers around one of the fish only to feel it wrap around my free arm. Watching the creature slide across my back, its little queue latches onto mine. Feeling a sudden rush of oxygen filter into my lungs, I relax and relax the tulkun, her calf bumping into me as we come to a standstill.

Gliding around her large body with her calf in chase, I grin and gently pat the creature. Watching a school of tiny golden jellyfish begin to gather around us, I squint as they move in closer. Their little bodies seemed to float on the gentle hum of the ocean. No, I don’t think I could exactly call it a hum anymore. It was something along the lines of a symphony of hushed whispers. All of them gather together to make a wordless song.

Reaching out toward the smelly jellies, I watch them follow my hand movements. The little calf seemed to enjoy their glowing considering it was happily squealing.

Feeling a sudden pull of water behind me, I turn around to see its mother opening her mouth, the little calf swimming inside of her mouth. Watching the small child turn, it opens its little mouth clamping down on my arm. Wincing some, I follow it into its mother’s mouth. I was careful as I swam past her bristled teeth, my eyes trained on the inner walls of her mouth. I could see why her calf felt so comfortable hiding here. The walls of her mouth were dotted in blue bioluminescent dots, each small dot curving along faint glowing trails like that of a brain’s neural path.

Being pulled forward by the calf, it releases my arm as we approach something glowing within the thick water. It was a kuru but it was nothing like my own. Hers was large, about half the size of my body, and a beautiful golden color. Around the base where the kuru gathered in her throat was the prettiest shade of violet. Small tendrils sprouted from the sides of her kuru, reminding me of a fluffy plume. She’d not only trusted me to get close enough but she wanted me to connect with her. It warmed my heart to know that, especially because part of me feared that she might have swallowed me whole.

Gently removing the txampaysye from my kuru, I release it into her mouth, the creature flapping its wings before slipping out through her teeth. Bringing my kuru up toward hers I connect the two only to watch the world around me shift and flash by, my memories and my world no longer only mine.

I could feel the ocean along my skin, my pod conversing among themselves when I’d first felt the signs of childbirth. I could feel the pain I went through, the need for my pod to care for me as I birthed my child. My beautiful baby boy. My mate was so happy that day, we’d even celebrated preparing to show the Na’vi. My mate’s spirit brother would be over the moon to see our calf. Time drifted by, the sweet memories shifting and blending into ones of pain and sorrow. There my mate was, shielding my and I from the strangers. When he’d fallen I tried to take his body but he was too heavy, and the strangers were attacking my calf. We just wanted peace, yet we were punished. What would I do without him, our calf was so young, and his plates were still soft, bending in the currents. I could feel that same fear again, the strangers were back. Until a na’vi saved us, this one strange.

Just as I slipped through her memories, I could feel her flicking between my thoughts like an old book. I could feel her watching everything. My birth, my childhood, and my bittersweet childhood. I could feel her confusion at my parents' choices and her distaste for my father. She felt my pain, my rage, my sorrows. The soft song she’d been singing turned to one of sadness.

Yet, I felt no judgment or pain, I felt understanding. I felt her warmth and acceptance as our very souls slid past one another.

Unlinking from her kuru, I glide from her mouth, the lack of oxygen now slightly straining my body. Surfacing, I break into the air and swallow sweet mouthfuls of air. Feeling her fin under my body I give her a sad pat and look into her fiery amber eyes.

“I don’t like my father either. He is a horrible man. I can not bring back your mate but as long as I live, I will protect you and your calf, Nayfyì. I promise.” I signed, my hand going over my heart.

She hummed a sweet quiet thank you. I couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. The urge to protect her child, as if it were my own.

For the rest of the swim back, it consisted of me asking Nayfyì about her calf. When I’d been connected to her I learned that the calf was practically a newborn, his name being Popu. From what I could deduce she’d lost her pod in their last escape from the RDA.

“When they come, you must place your calf in your mouth, and stay low. They attack you because they know you will not leave Popu.” I signed, worried as we approached the familiar beach, the same beach my clan had made their home.

Looking toward Popu, he hesitantly slips under his mother as she lets out a deep hum.

“I need to return to my clan, but please know I will keep you safe sister.” I signed, slipping into the waters.

Watching Popu come forward, he nudges his head into my torso and I wince patting his head. Pushing him toward his mother, I turn around and swim toward the beach. I feared the RDA already may be coming and I didn’t want any more harm to befall them.

As I swam back toward the shore, I took note of Yula’vo holding her lower stomach, her face covered in worry as I pushed forward onto the sand toward the crowd. Reaching out toward her for a hug she slaps my hands away and looks me up and down, her hands reaching down to grasp my skirt which I’d now noticed was bright red. I’d not truly looked at myself until now but even with my ride through the ocean, I was drenched in blood. I guess that should have been worrisome considering I’d left here with Zuno and a spear.

“What happened? Why is there so much blood? Where is your spear?” She threw question after question, looking behind me at my back and legs.

The once small crowd began to gather, even the Tsahìk stepped in, her eyes narrow on my bloodied body.

“Oh yeah,” I said, looking down at my hands. “It was as you said, I want to the deep sea to find Tulkun but instead there was something else. I don’t know what it was but it had a mouth full of razor-sharp black teeth. It chased Zunu and me down.” Flexing my fingertips, I lick my lips, the taste of blood and salt water fresh on my lips.

“The RDA, the sky people were there. I did what I could to stop them from hurting a Tulkun but Zunu died keeping me safe, I’m sorry.” I said, reaching down to lift my skirt in my hands.

“This blood is not hers, it’s from the sky people.” Gripping the bloody squirt, I squeeze it and then release it, my hands relaxing. “I wanted to avenge Zunu and I couldn’t let them hurt Nayfyì. I think they are hunting Tulkun with calves.”

Looking up toward Yula’vo, her hands wrap around her stomach a frown on her face.

“You were attacked by an akula.” Said the Tsahìk, her body gliding through the crowd. “We told you the ocean was dangerous. You were reckless, you should have returned to the clan and gotten the help of the guards. Your tsurak has died as well.”

Her words were harsh as her hand rose.

“I’m sorry,” I said, only to feel her hand go over my chest.

“You risked your life to protect a tulkun when you could have run back here with your tail tucked between your legs. Not everyone has the strength to face sky people alone, it is only understandable that someone as while as you would.”

“They were hurting the Tulkun, they were hurting innocent lives. What I did wasn’t out of strength, it was anger.” I said, reaching up to the Tsahìk’s hand. “I would do it again, reckless or not so please, forgive me for Zunu’s death.”

The Tsahìk sighed, her fingers brushing a few strands of hair behind my ear.

“We do not blame you for the evil of others. That is not how a clan treats each other.” She cooed, brushing her hand down my cheek.

I felt strange. The horrible tang of guilt bubbled in my stomach yet it was not as pure as what I felt now.

“Thank you, for accepting all of me.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 17

It was so beautiful.

My hair had been curled to perfection, each black ringlet curving down along my back. My nails were the softest shade of pink, the color reminding me of the natural tone of my nails. My makeup was soft and gentle like I’d just walked out of a painting from the Renaissance. The cream-colored dress I wore was just as beautiful, my shoulders brushed with light makeup to hide the bruises on my body. The neckline was sweet, something you’d see my mother wearing. It was of her design after all. There was so much beauty, yet it accumulated to nothing.

My human body felt completely so cold, so worthless. Every meal I ate, tasted foul in my mouth, like my body began to reject anything that wasn’t from Pandora’s soil. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t even see myself anymore. I saw Magnolia Stringer, her hand in marriage sold before the ripe age of 18. I saw Zahara Mbeki who died before she could name her child. I saw myself, as a murderer.

The Georgia that sat before me was like a body snatcher. Someone who’d grown thin and feeble since she came here months ago. Someone who’d let her father trounce all over her will. Someone who played dress up just like that pretty plastic doll she got her first day here. Someone who wore a body that could no longer contain her soul, her spirit. Endure it, I thought.

Was this face of mine real? Was this cold skin my own? Was I even real? How could I walk these hollowed halls and smile in the faces of people I hated with every fiber of my being? How would I live back on Earth, how would I survive? How would I hold my mother and kiss her cheeks with the same body that ripped men apart? How could I yell at her for the sin of drinking when I’d committed the worst sin of them all? Would I get a normal job and have nightmares of the faces I’d torn apart? Would I dream of the Na’vi, their faces a distant memory from a distant planet? Would I carry a son who would hate me for making him carry the sins of his forefathers? Would his smiling face be enough to make me feel alive again or would he simply be a constant reminder of my failure? Endure it I thought.

I could always run. I would take everything I had and escape into the jungles. I would die for sure, I wouldn’t make it far but I would get that choice, and I would get to live my last moments freely. I wonder what would happen to my body. Would I be dragged back to the RDA? Incinerated maybe and then shipped to my mother so she could hold me in her arms for the last time. Would I be eaten by the wild animals of the jungle, my hands which took a life nothing but fodder to help feed another? Would I die in a meadow, my body infusing with the planet? Would the flowers be brown like my skin or pink like my favorite color? Would Royce, Rina, and Hughs hate me for running? Would they find my last note to them, the smell of my perfume faint? Would Royce miss me? Would Hughs miss me? Would Rina miss me? Would my father miss me? Would my mother miss me? Would the Na’vi mourn the daughter of their worst enemy? Endure it I thought.

My mind felt numb, moving too fast and too slow. Like a train on slicked icy rails. I was meant to see him today, not in the flesh but in a call, in a simple video chat. My soon-to-be husband, my fiancé. I didn’t even know his name but I was expected to bear his burdens, his children. I would sooner die. Endure it I thought.

Maybe I would grow to love him. Maybe my father was right and I was destined to be someone else’s the day I was born. My mother was born to die with her baby in her arms, would I be the same? I always envisioned my child as a beautiful baby girl. Her grandmother’s face her own now, to allow someone to love her like she should have been. Yet now, I prayed I bore a son so he would at least get a chance to escape this cursed bloodline. Endure it I thought.

“Pandora to Georgia? Are you okay, princess?” Royce said softly, his large hand wrapping around my own.

I would miss Royce, something I never thought I’d say months ago. He was so different, so shallow when we met. We were like two glass mirrors, reflections of each other that saw nothing of this planet. However, I saw him change, I saw the light in his eyes turn into something pure and kind. Royce was lovely, I wondered what he would do when I returned to Earth. Would his beautiful face age gracefully with time? Would his permanent smile be accompanied by smile lines and crow's feet? Would he find a wife on the base? Would be love her and be kind to her too? Would he sit down with Rina and Hughs and talk about the time we all spent together while I slept in stasis? I would miss Royce. Endure it I thought.

“Better than ever, frog.” I smiled, lying through my teeth.

I could see the hesitation in his eyes, the reluctance evident in the way he held my hand. He was gentle as he helped me stand, his thumb stroking my fingers. We walked in silence, only pausing from time to time to greet other soldiers. Endure it I thought.

“Georgia, wait!” Rina practically sprinted down the halls, her hair past her shoulders now.

I would miss Rina. I think I would miss the way she hogged the blankets at night, cocooning herself. She made me feel heard, even from the moment we’d met she listened to everything I said. She was stubborn but she made me wish I had a sister. Rina was brave. Even when I’d come here to stir up trouble she snapped back, not caring about my status. She was like the wind to my fire, showing me that I could be more than destructive. She showed me fire could be just as warming as it could be harmful. I admired Rina, if she were a man I think she would have been easy to love and easier to spend forever with. I think we would sit in the meadows and she would show me her favorite flowers. I think she would tell me why they were special and why I was the same. I wonder if she would cut her hair short once I’ve left. Would she come home to Earth too? Would she be with her lover? Would she stay miles away in Japan? Would she hold my child in her arms and be proud of who I became? I would miss Rina. Endure it I thought.

“Yes?” I said, surprised as she nearly crashed into me, her hands gripping a small bottle of pills. They were supplements she and Hughs spent time making the moment they learned of my heart condition.

“Did you take your medicine today? I don’t want you to get sick.” She began to unscrew the top, shaking two of the pills into her hands.

“Of course I did.” I lied twice. “Kind of tastes like ass,” I said jokingly, praying she didn’t see through my stiff smile.

“Well. Please make sure you take them daily. I don’t need you collapsing again or I’ll be left alone with Royce. He won’t shut up about Helicopters lately.” She reached out, placing the pills into my hand.

“They’re very cool!” Royce said, flicking Rina’s nose with his finger.

“As much as I would love to see you two argue, if I’m not in my father’s office in ten he’ll probably kill me,” I said, rolling the pills around in my hand.

I wondered if he knew I was the one who killed those people. Popping the two pills under my tongue, I sigh and loosen my grip on Royce. Endure it I begged.

“As if I’d let that happen. At least let me walk with you too, you always ask Royce. I’d like to hear about your future prince charming too.” Rina joked, taking my other arm in her own.

Walking down the halls arm in arm with the both of them felt oddly comforting like I was marching into war with my loyal generals by my side. My head felt horrible though, like my brain was being struck over and over with a heavy hammer and hot iron. I’d not noticed it until recently but the humming seemed to coil around my brain causing sharp pain to race down the sides of my body. If Royce and Rina weren’t here holding me up, I wonder if I could have kept walking. Endure it I begged.

The walk to my father’s office felt like a mile but as we approached the thick steel door I couldn’t help but feel the world slipping away from me. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry. I felt uncomfortable like my skin wasn’t my own. Endure it I begged.

“I wasn’t aware you all were going to be here.” Dr Hughs said, his hands on a clipboard as he looked toward Rina. “I need you in my office and Georgia? You need to drink some water, you look faint.” He fussed a common occurrence lately.

I would miss Dr. Hughs. When I was scared he was the first person to believe in me and my efforts. He was the first to make me feel safe and human on a planet I felt so alien on. He looked past the Georgia everyone saw as a spoiled brat and saw a stupid girl learning to be herself. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to repay him. Dr. Hughs was enough, he was here. I wonder if his blond hair would turn silver in my absence and if he would miss seeing me every morning. I wonder if he would remember my face and respond to every letter I sent. I wonder what would have happened if he met my mother first, and if I had been lucky enough to call someone like him father. Would be buy my mother roses? Would he take us on vacations? If he would have stayed with lonely little Georgia in the hospital overnight when I’d grown tired of the smell of disinfectant and the sound of a heart monitor. I would miss Hughs. Endure it I pleaded.

“I feel fine, I promise. It’s just the makeup.” I lied thrice now and with that, my father opened the door to his office.

The small crowd we’d made dispersed as he practically yanked me into his office, forcing me to sit in a chair across from him. The chair felt too real, too much like actual cow leather. Not a cow that had died to feed hungry mouths but one that died for sport. A cow turned into a trophy only to be stretched and mutilated into a stupid chair in an office that smelled like cigars and metal. Endure it I pleaded.

“You look beautiful.” He lied once. “Just as happy as your mother when we met.” He lied twice. “You won’t regret this, I promise.” He lied thrice.

Maybe I was my father’s daughter after all. Murderer, liar, thief, hypocrite. Maybe I was made to follow in his footsteps, maybe I could do it to spite him. I could slip the puppet strings around my wrists and ankles. I could wrap it wrap it around my neck until even my words were no longer my own. I could live the life he planned for me. Give him enough grandchildren to turn his cold heart warm. I could sit in my mansion above the clouds, looking down on those he deemed lesser than us, lesser than a Stringer. And then when he finally died of old age I could hope my heart would take me as well, just so I could drag him down to hell together. I wonder if you cut a Stringer did they even bleed red like the rest of mankind? I would say I would miss my father but I think I missed the shadow of the man he used to be. The man who died the moment he’d begun working at the RDA. Endure it I pleaded.

“Try to smile Georgia, you look like your mother. I already told you I hate that fucking look on your face.” He sat forward, sliding a thick manilla folder toward me. The paper inside had been lined with highlighter and underlined in bold red ink.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d done this himself, underlining everything he wanted me to admire or like about the man.

Sliding the sheets of paper onto the desk, I look down at my future husband, the fake smile on my face turning my cheeks numb. Goddard Addicks was the name of my future husband. Everything about him was on the paper like I was looking over a Michelin star menu. According to this piece of paper, he was like me, at least like the old me. A young man who was an avid socialite, who’d placed that life behind him to settle down. He grew up in the Netherlands, practically royalty in the eyes of the people. His picture was quite handsome as well, with stormy blues and a chiseled jawline. His hair almost as dark as mine, fell to his shoulders. I felt more like I was studying for a test rather than meeting him. Please, please just fucking hold it in Georgia.

I wondered if he was like me. Someone forced to spend time here. From what I read this is what he wanted, but did the paper he got on me say the same thing? Apparently, the princeling was set to leave Earth anyway, projects on other planets calling to him. Lovely, I was set to be in a loveless marriage with my husband on some faraway planet, ruining someone else’s life. I wonder if we would be married in this voice call? If he would visit, knock me up, and then take off again. Was this the life I’d earned for myself?

Yes, Georgia. No, Georgia. Be a lady, Georgia. Love me, Georgia. Don’t run away from me, Georgia. You’re a Stringer, Georgia. You’re not allowed to cry, Georgia. You’re better than them, Georgia. You’re a Stringer, Georgia. You’re an heiress, Georgia, you’re my pumpkin, Georgia. They’re just jealous of you, Georgia. You’re a Stringer, Georgia. You’re a Stringer, Georgia. You’re a Stringer, Georgia.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the papers. Sliding them back into the folder on my father’s desk, I hold my face laughing. My mind was already so fragile. Like I was two souls, both trapped in this body.

Standing up, I shoulder my purse only to feel my father grab my arm. I was already too dizzy, too tired to continue like this. I couldn’t take it, I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Let go of me!” Screaming to the top of my lungs, I reach down onto his desk shaking the papers.

“Georgia Marie Stringer.” He said, his words muffled as I stumbled backward and out of the door. Throwing the papers into the air I laugh, his voice coming from behind the door still. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What the hell am I doing? Shut your fucking mouth just for a second!” I screamed, I screamed as loud as my weak lungs would let me.

He paced after me, his steps leisurely as I continued my walk backward.

“All you’ve done since I was born was control me. With money, with power, and now with my own fucking friends! Do you know how crazy that is?” Grabbing a glass table in the center of the hallway, I shove it over sending small glass fragments across the floor.

“This is crazy, Georgia! Come back to my office.” He shouted, his hand moving into his jacket.

“Come back to your office?” I said dodging his hand as he grasped out for me. He was large but he was no Royce. He didn’t have his speed. “Drag me back then.”

Knocking over a second glass table, I laugh and reach down and tear into my dress, a slit forming on the side.

“Don’t make me punish you like you’re a child again. Don’t make me chase after you.” He rolled up his sleeves, “I’m rusty.”

“I’m not,” I said, turning and sprinting down the hall. I couldn’t see him behind me but I could hear him, the heavy stomp of his feet as he called out for his guards.

All I knew was that I couldn’t drag anyone else into this, I had to make my bed and lie in it. I always thought it was going to be some miracle of a man who rescued me but it was me.

Pushing my legs beyond their strength and my heart beyond its limit, I keep looking behind me. My father didn’t care about me, I was one of his assets. All he cared about was his precious assets. Slipping through the hallway beside me, I kick off my heels, wedging one into the door, hoping I’d buy myself enough time. I’d been here before. I’d seen this room and yet it never clocked what it truly was in my mind. When I’d been searching for Ik’tanhì, the room before his held something more precious than anything my father owned. In a large tank in the belly of the facility, in the room right in front of me, there it was. A large vat of amrita. According to my father, just one vial could practically halt humans from aging and here he was with enough to fill a small pool, it was horrible.

Raising my other heel, I slam it through the glass window on the door and reach inside past the broken shards, my skin slicing open in the process. Shoving the door open, I come over to the vat and place a hand on the tank. How many had died? How many children, mothers, and fathers?

Quickly taking my purse from my shoulder, I fish out the handgun my father had given me. Pointing it toward the large vat of golden liquid, I remove the safety only to hear the smooth click of a gun. Looking toward the side, I see my father, his gun aimed toward me as he stood in the doorway.

“Georgia, dear, please.” He begged, his hand trembling as he pointed the gun toward my chest. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re all I have left, you’re all I have of your mother.” Please, don’t make me do this.”

Pulling the trigger on my gun, I watch the bullet soar through the tank, spilling the golden liquid everywhere. At the same time, I could feel something warm, not something hot flowing down the center of my stomach. Glancing downward, I see my dress beginning to stain crimson, the bottom turning a vibrant color from the liquid spilling at my feet. He shot me. Slowly bringing a hand over my stomach, I laugh coughing up blood. Feeling my knees give out, I look up at Charles.

“Georgia. Why did you make me do this? Why?” He begged me for once, his voice shaking as I heard the pull of the hammer on his gun. “Why didn’t you let me protect you.”

“You never loved me. You never cared about me. All I was to you was some sick way to remember my dead mother but you know what?” Coughing up a handful of blood, I wipe my face clean. “I’m happy she’s dead. I’m happy she never married someone like you and I’m so sorry my real mother, the woman who raised me drunk and all had to be married to a piece of shit like you.” I coughed again, the pain in my stomach beginning to burn.

I could faintly make out the blaring of an alarm as the taste of metal filled my mouth. “I’m free, I’m finally free.” Raising the gun he gave me, I pointed it toward the tank. “Do me a favor when you get to hell. Stay the fuck away from me.” I pulled the trigger again, shattering the tank as another shot went off from his gun, this one causing the world to flip to black. I couldn’t feel anything, and now this was my reward. I did it. I endured.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 18

Ik’tanhì's POV

More of my people were dead, more innocents slaughtered to please the sky people. They were cruel savages who only cared about themselves.

“Brother, we must go now.” Whispered Tune.

His face was sullen, nothing you would expect to see of the man going to avenge his mate. I could never make amends for the death of Flusel. She did not deserve her death, none of my people did. We would finally fix that.

A group of fellow warriors crouched with me outside of the RDA, our skin painted for battle. My own skin was painted with my Ikran.

“Mother Eywa, let my arrow strike true. Let my spear strike the heart of my enemies. Let my body be quicker than my enemies. Let me save our people. Let their spirits guide me oh great mother.” I said, moving in closer toward the building.

I was not nervous yet my heart raced in my chest, it was strange. I prayed that Eywa stilled my heart.

“What is this?” Tune said, crouching before the strange wall. He looked toward me with confusion on his face, nodding me over.

Staying low to the ground, I looked at the strange flat wall which was covered in paint. On one side there was a large tree of voices, the same one I’d taken her to. Many little wisps littered the wall as well, the names of the fallen members of my clan under each one.

“Flusel…” Tune said, his fingers tracing over her name. “Eywa preserve me so I may avenge you.” His hand fisted.

Glancing at the painting again, I look and see myself staring out into the jungle. My spear in my hand and my hand over my heart. She’d even painted on my Txursum armor. I never wore it but it used to hang in the marui. Why would she do this? Why would she waste her time?

“What are you two waiting for?” Hissed Zoka, as she crawled toward us.

“Nothing. I’ve been inside of this building before when the sky people took me. Tune, you will take attack from the East, and Zoka, you will take the West. They have no guards there.” Reaching up to my mask, I pull down the front.

Unlike humans who dressed in green to hide, I wore my father’s Ikran mask. It was the same color as his Ikran, orange and yellow. I did not wear his mask to hide, I wore his mask so my enemies could see who killed them, so they could see who I was.

“I have my own revenge I have come to execute.”

Sending our group into two, I split off and sneak through the human defenses. They were easy to dispose of. They went through so much work to guard their skulls that they left their necks vulnerable. The humans who did try to fight back were even easier to handle. Before they could scream an arrow was through their soft throats.

After all, it was the same way I’d disposed of the one human not long ago. The sky people were foolish to think we’d sit in silence forever. Instead of repairing the destruction they were lazy and covered it up. Approaching the thing called a window I look inside to see that the room is empty, the faint scent of her in the room.

It was strange, even when I wanted nothing to do with her anymore she was a constant in my mind. The taste of battle was the only thing that could satiate me and the sound of the ocean was the only thing that could drown out her voice. Yet, here I was again standing just a few steps from the room she slept in at night. I’d come here many times. Every time I came I brought my hunting knife and I would watch her sleep in silence. I wanted to see her father’s face as pained as mine when he took the only family I had.

When I’d finally worked up enough anger to hurt her, I saw her sitting in front of her window no emotion on her face. I didn’t need to kill someone who was already dead. The next nights I came she was the same, just staring out that window. When she was not in front of the window she was sleeping, alone. Sometimes toktor Rina would be there but she was mostly on her own. One night when she was alone I heard her speaking in her sleep. She’d been thrashing around and began to scream for me. It was annoying, to have her cry out for me. It was more upsetting to do nothing but listen. Now here I was again, my chest warm with anger as I stood outside of her window.

“Pandora to Georgia? Are you okay, princess?”

The voice of a man was clear, it was the man who’d tried to take her from my arms the day I brought her here.

“Better than ever, frog.”

Her voice sounded weaker, even her strange accent was lackluster. Crouching down low, I look into the window to see her sitting there, her hand in the male pinkskin’s. Something tightened in my chest but I chose to ignore it. Now was the time, I could finally rid myself of her. To no longer think of her laugh or no longer be haunted by her voice. All I needed was a few seconds and I would be free.

Clutching my hunting knife, I prepare to strike when she turns around putting something into her strange chest.

Was this her? Her face was still beautiful but it did not look the same. Her cheeks were sunken in along with her eyes. Her wrist was so small that I could wrap my hand around it twice if allowed. Was this truly her?

She took Royce’s hand and left. Pushing open the window, I slip into the room when I hear someone approaching from the halls. Slipping into a smaller room full of human clothes, I hear the voice of toktor Rina.

“Damn it, she needs these.” She seemed to run out of the room, leaving me alone.

Exiting the small space, I step toward the door when I bump into her desk, sending the little items inside on the ground. Squatting low, I gather the items hesitating when I see the smallmouth stick she’d been using. It’s pinky hue sparkling still. I could still taste it when I had been foolish enough to let her kiss me. She was sweet and soft, so easy to break. Placing down the mouth stick, I reach out next taking a small doll in my hands. It was oddly similar to her, even down to the dress she was wearing. Did human adults use dolls still?

Beneath everything that fell something looked familiar. Reaching down to a string of pearls, I turn them in my hand. It was the pearls we’d both worn and here she had them. I expected her to rid herself of everything that I’d given her. Wrapping the string of pearls around the doll, I place them on her strange hammock.

I couldn’t let her distract me, I had things to do.

Exiting her room, I come into the halls where Tune is dispatching another human guard. From what I could see he’d been quick with their deaths and quiet. We were stronger than the sky people but it would be easier to not tip the scales.

“Where is Tune?” I asked as the sound of laughter filled the halls and then a stampede of feet, yet it was not toward our direction but in the opposite.

“Zoka!” Tune said in a hushed whisper, moving down the halls with his bow in his hand.

“Wait!” I said as a small group of sky people came around the corner.

“What the fuck?” One of them said, raising his gun toward me.

Raising my bow in response I fire my first arrow through his neck, the arrow pinning the man to the wall. Watching two of the humans begin to fire, I rush forward feeling their bullets bounce off my armor. Rolling toward the first human, I yank my bow from his neck and then fire it into the next human’s forehead. Firing another into the human’s stomach, she flies backward, her body slamming through the window behind her.

“These aren’t doing shit!” Called out one woman who aimed for my mask, the bullet bouncing off my forehead.

Running toward her, I drive my knife into her chest, her body crumpling in my hands. Throwing her body to the ground, I reach down to retrieve my arrows when I hear two loud bangs, gunshots.

“Zoka and Tune!” Leaving the arrows behind I race down the halls, my feet barely touching the ground as I run. I could make out a trail of humans as a loud sound began to fill the halls.

I watch as the rest of the warriors begin to fill the building, cries filling the room as the sky people begin to scramble. It was chaotic, to see the sky people screaming as they were dealt with. The ones who chose to surrender were rounded up and escorted away. I just hoped I hadn’t lost any more of my people in this fight, yet I couldn’t get this sick feeling out of my stomach. Running into Zoka, I see her pulling her dagger from the body of a human, standing over there drenched in blood.

“Are you okay? Where is Tune? I heard the gunshots.” I said, sliding my knife into it’s sheathe.

“Tune is fine, he is escorting the pink skins away. Why not just dispose of them now? Their people are like an infection.” Zoka grunted, wiping the blood from my knife onto the shirt of one of the sky people.

“Because we are not killing those who are willing to submit,” said Tune, coming around the corner with a few humans in tow.

They were fine and safe, my people were safe.

One thing was evident though. There were fewer sky people than I expected and none of them smelled like her. Her scent was faint but it was clear to smell even with the scent of blood in the air.

“Did you see a brown sky person? She is smaller with long hair.” I hold my hand up to my own body and Zoka laughs. “No, if I find her I will deal with her quickly.” She gave her knife a lick.

“Just do as I asked,” I said, snapping at the thought of Zoka finding her before me. On my way here I’d not seen her body on the ground yet she also was not here with the rounded-up sky people.

Leaving Tune with Zoka, I pick up in a jog down the halls looking around for her. Where could she have gone? I couldn’t smell her scent well because the halls stunk of blood and sky people. Every group that was rounded up, every corpse, and yet no her.

I’d demanded that Charles Strinker be left to me but I’d said nothing of his daughter. Coming to the halls where they’d once kept me, I pinch my nose at the strong scent of blood and fish? It was odd like the ocean itself was stuffed into a single room. Walking toward the room, the faint scent of her fills my nose along with the smell of Charles Strinker. I could never forget the bitter smell of his clothes, especially when I’d seen him laughing over the mass grave he’d created. When I came to get her I couldn’t find his sleeping quarters. The coward left his own kin in the open but hid away.

Coming to the door, I look down to see yellow liquid seeping from under the door. Pushing the door open, I’m surprised by the low resistance. It was when I was bombarded with three smells at once, each one stronger than the last.

The first was clear. The smell of blood. It smelled of the sky people, like everything they touched smelled of metal. They used it to eat, to clean, and they even wore it. I’d smelled blood and tasted it more times than I could count and the smell never truly got to me but this blood smelled strange. Like it had been infused with that metallic smell.

The second was a little more, familiar. I’d taken to the waters with the sea wall hunters before, I’d even done it when I caught the sky people in the middle of killing a tulkun. On their strange metal canoe, they had pots of this yellow liquid they had drained from the tulkun. It was more than their blood, it was their essence. I did not bond with a tulkun, I did not need to yet I could make out the stench of their death.

The last smell was not as faint now but directly in my nose. Turning to the side, I look down onto the ground seeing the source of the scent. Reaching a shaking hand outward, I force myself to step forward into the puddling pool of gold and crimson.

Her black curls were strewn behind her and her dress was soaked red from the wound on her stomach. Her blood still warm around my knees continued to pool out.

Dropping my bow to the ground, I reach forward pulling her body into my arms, my hand pressing down on the warm wound over her stomach. Looking up at her face, I see her eyes are closed but her face is drenched in blood. The source wasn’t from her stomach wound though.

“No.”

I know what I heard. Two loud bangs, two gunshots. I could see the first in her stomach. But it couldn’t be.

Brushing her hair from her face, I look down at the large wound on her forehead, the obvious entry wound of a bullet there.

If it were not for the wounds on her stomach and her head you would have thought she was peacefully sleeping. Her body was still warm, and the sweet smell of flowers still lingered on her skin.

“Wake up,” I said, my hand trying to stop the flow of blood from her torso.

She was still warm, she just died.

“Wake up, now,” I demanded, wiping the blood from her face. “In death is when you are honest with me,” I said, giving her a shake. “You told me you couldn’t stay but I didn’t think you meant like this.”

I felt a new strange sensation building in the back of my throat. It was odd like I’d been struggling to breathe. It was even stranger when I felt tears streaming down my cheeks onto your face. My vision muddled as I brought her closer, my body holding her tightly.

“I will catch your favorite fish for you. I will take you to get your own ikran so we may fly together. I will listen to your strange song until it is the only one I know. I will take you to a new hometree and we can craft a bow of your choosing. I will watch your strange movies. I will go to your Earth, just please wake up. Keork’a, please. I did not mean it when I said I hated you, I don’t care if you lied. You could lie to me every day if it means you wake up. Wake up!” Screaming, I stand up with her in my arms, gently placing her body down on a small table.

It felt like I was a child again, watching my hometree burn to the ground. Yet instead of running this time, I just felt angrier.

“I hate sky people,” I growled, turning around to pick up one of their tables. Throwing it across the room it slams into some strange-looking devices, shattering them.

Sliding the contents of their table onto the ground, I slam a fist onto the table.

I was a fool as well. Every day coming here as if I were going to harm her. I would have killed anyone who even looked at her with malice in their eyes. She was strange. She was rude and demanding. She was impatient and ill-tempered but she was kind. All she wanted was to show me her own world and culture and yet I pushed her away because of a man who was not even her father.

That’s right, her father. His scent was faint but it was here too. The smell of smoke and metal lingered on her body.

Picking up her body, I hold it close, placing my final kiss on her cheek.

“Mother Eywa, take away my pain. Mother Eywa, turn my sorrows into strength. Mother Eywa, guide the spirit of those we love, to stand beside us.” Placing a second kiss on her temple, I try to conceal my anger and hatred.

Watching the door to the room slam open, I look in front of me at the man, that Royce. If he were watching her she would be alive. I should carve his heart out just for approaching me.

“She should have been with you.” I spat, keeping her body close. I made sure I spoke in English as I stared down at the weak man. “Why was she alone,” I demanded more than asked.

The Royce man only looked at me with a look of stupidity on his face. He reached out for Keork’a but I pull back with her, hissing. I hated these sky people. They couldn’t even protect their own.

“Georgia?” He said, placing a hand over his heart. “She didn’t deserve this.” He said, his fist slamming into the table she’d just laid on.

Toktor Rina came inside the room, her hands falling over her mouth in a shocked gasp as she looked at Keork’a.

“Georgia? That son of a bitch shot her. He fucking shot her.” Toktor Rina said, her eyes on Keork’a’s body.

“Who is he?” I asked, taking a step toward her.

“Her father.” She choked out, reaching outward to Keork’a.

I didn’t want to let others touch her, they already failed enough. She deserved a proper burial and I would give that to her. Not even her own father, the man who murdered her, was man enough to give her a proper burial. I would make sure his death was painful, I would give Keork’a her revenge and mine along with it.

“Where, is he,” I said and the one known as Royce came forward.

“He is heading to the roof to try and leave,” Royce said, taking the metal chains from his neck. “He is on the East roof. I will handle him.”

“No.” I approached the human man, kneeling down so we were at eye level. “You will take Keork’a away from this wicked place. She would have not wanted to be buried here. I will come for her. If anything happens to her body, I will come for you too.” I snarled, gently handing her over.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He said, placing the silver chain on her while Toktor Rina wiped her own face.

Picking up my bow and arrow, I sling it over my back only for Toktor Rina to move in front of me.

“Ik’tanhì he has men and guns. Georgia wouldn’t have wanted you to go alone. You will be outnumbered and all you have is your bow and a single arrow.” She spoke to me as if I were that child she met ages ago.

Moving her out of my way, I readjust my mask to my face.

“Do not speak to me like I am a child. If you were with her, she would be alive. I don’t care if there are thousands of men and I don’t care for your guns. Keork’a is not here to tell me what she wants so I will go alone and if you try to stop me again, I will show you why I only need a single arrow. Now, go.” Moving around her, I exit the small space with Keork’a’s warm blood still on my hand.

Placing it across the string of my bow, I breathe in deeply trying to calm my racing heart. Charles Strinker’s death was mine to give.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 19

Ik’tanhì’s POV

Charles Stringer was the worst evil I’d encountered in my life.

It was odd how someone so foul and cruel could be given a position of leadership, yet, I expected nothing less from humans. They were so cruel that they would kill their own young for their own gain. Even the Thanator fed and protected its cubs.

Watching a human guard round the corner, I lift my bow only to see Toktor Hughs panting. His side seemed to be seeping red, yet there were no sighs of my people, just humans.

“Ik’tanhì?” He said seemingly weak.

“Toktor Hews.” The man Keork’a said was her father, the man who taught me about human culture. Now that her blood stained the Earth I wish it were true.

“Ik’tanhì what are you doing here?” He said, looking down at my bloodied hands. “Have you-”

“I have only killed those who resisted. I will not harm you, Toktok Hews. I am here to kill Charles Strinker, for my people and for Keork’a.” Tightening my fist on my bow, I move around him, shoving him out of my way. “Do not try to stop me.”

“Georgia? Georgia is…” He placed a hand over his head. “I won’t stop you but I need to find someone.” He winced, gripping his side.

Reaching into my hair, I pluck out a feather and hand it over to him.

“I will not aid you, but I will give you this. The other Na’vi will not harm you unless you give them a reason to.”

Stepping to the human window, I slam the end of my bow through the hard glass, sending fragments of glass into the air.

Turning around, I see Toktor Hews, looking on at me with a strange look in his eyes.

“Please, take Keork’a’s body from this horrible place, bury her where the suns will always shine and where the river is at its calmest so her spirit will sing loud enough for me to find her in death.”

Letting out a sharp whistle, I move toward the forest where Tetsa has been in wait with the other Ikran.

Having her approach me, I waste no time mounting her back. Linking our kurus, I push off the ground with her and she takes into the sky above the RDA.

I wanted to feel proud of what my people had accomplished but we had more to do, more lives to avenge. I would not be able to rest while Charles Strinker stood living and breathing. Guiding Tetsa around a pillar of smoke, I look down to see the RDA building catching flames as groups of humans are hoarded off to their ships.

Yet, there was no Charles Strinker in sight. Knowing the coward he probably hid again. Looking over the building, I watch as one of the strange human ships begins to rise into the air.

“They said the East.” Quickly turning Tetsa, I raise my bow as we approach the ship.

It was then when I saw him, cowardly sitting in the back of the strange ship. Charles Strinker. He looked different from when I saw him the first time. This time, he was the one with fear in his eyes. Raising my bow upward, I aim toward the flying ship and release, watching the arrow soar through the glass and into the first human. It was a swift and kind death, one I would not give to the man behind him.

Watching the ship stutter in the air, it begins to fall from the sky smashing into the building below it. Watching pieces of metal fly through the air, a large piece slams into Tetsa’s leg, causing her to jerk backward, throwing me off her back. Falling toward the RDA building, I brace myself for impact when Tetsa swoops down, grasping me by my back armor. Being barely dropped onto a pile of rubble, I cough as she weakly flies off the building and onto the ground.

She was alive, that was all that mattered. I had to rid us of this demon.

As I came to a stand, the sound of a gunshot rang out from the smoke, causing a high-pitched ringing to fill my ears. Feeling something hot in my armor, I look down to see a small piece of warm metal over where my heart is.

“That should have killed you.” Said the familiar voice of Charles Strinker from the cloud of dust and smoke surrounding me.

“Of course, you attack when I can not see you, coward.” I hiss, getting low to avoid any more shots.

Sliding down the pile of rubble, I dart through the smoke finding the crashed ship. Wrenching my arrow from the window and the human body, I hear a shifting beside me and I pull my arrow free in time, narrowly avoiding a shot to the back.

“You say coward, I say genius.” He laughs, as I roll out of the way of another shot from the mist.

It was off, his movements and voice moved in a circle, like he was surrounding me on all sides. The ringing from every shot was fresh in my ears.

Watching the smoke closely, I see the shifting shadows of his body being thrown around in the flames.

“Why must you hide, Charles Strinker. You hid when you sent orders to kill my people too. Will you always hide like a child?” Placing my arrow in my bow, I hear a shifting behind me and I quickly dodge to the side as a bullet grazes my arm, the hot metal singeing the side of my armor.

“I killed your people? Which ones? I’ve taken more Blue lives than I can remember.” Another shot went off, his one striking my chest plate causing a piece to fall off. “Was it the Olangi? I remember turning a few of their dire horses into chairs.” He laughed behind me, causing me to dart into the clouds, swinging my bow out only to reveal nothing.

This parasite. Not only did he decide to play games with me but he also taunted the deaths of my people.

“Maybe the Li'ona? Stupid fuckers took down a damn of mine.” He said, his voice echoing off the debris. Hearing another gunshot ring out, he misses as a loud buzzing fills the side of my ear.

Looking over my shoulder, I watch as one of the human ships lifts into the air, a strange metal tent attached to the bottom. Inside was Toktor Hews, toktor Rina and that Royce.

“Gut that motherfucker for me!” Said the voice of Royce as he and the ship moved above us. The wind from its strange wings pushed away the dust to reveal Charles Strinker.

Watching him raise his gun and aim it toward the ship, I quickly raise my bow and fire an arrow off in his direction, watching it pierce through the man’s stomach, pinning him to the rock behind him.

“It was the Tipani Clan. You will acknowledge what you’ve done to my people.” Watching the man cough up blood, he raises his gun again and I watch him pull the trigger only to see nothing come out.

“Fuck, of course, this is the way I die. By some fucker dressed up in shells.” Laughing, the man spits on the ground beside him, the blood beginning to drip from the corners of his mouth.

Coming closer to him, I kick away his gun and yank my arrow from his body. My father’s name was drenched in the man’s blood.

“Why did you kill my people,” I said, pressing my foot onto the man’s wound as he collapsed to the ground. “How could you kill so many people with no remorse?”

“You said your people are the Tipani?” He winced as I pressed down, tired of his games. “I remember now. The idiots who thought they could go up against humans. Do you know why I don’t feel remorse kid? It’s the reason you hate me because I’m human. From the beginning of my people’s time, we’ve ran off one thing and one thing alone and that’s fear. Fear is what drives you to fight, take, steal, and kill. Why else would you be getting rid of me?” Laughing, he covers his mouth his arm limp at his side.

“Not all humans are like you, you’re the worst kind,” I said, spitting down onto the man’s chest. “You are the kind of man who would kill his own child.”

“My daughter?” He said, looking into the sky. “You know I had a child and even killed her? Well, it all makes sense now. Some Blue comes dragging my kid home and of course, it’s you. Let me guess, you like her?” He began to laugh, the blood beginning to stain his clothes red as he laughed.

“Keork’a was not like you. She was a good person and you killed her. Why?” I wanted to rip his face off as he continued to laugh.

“You’re right, not all of them are like me. I did what I did for my family and even in the end, they let me down. Georgia was one hell of a letdown. I gave her everything a father could give his child and yet, she turned her back on me. I wonder if she would have listened to you. Hell, who knows kid? Maybe if you were human you would have a good son-in-law. It’s good to be around those not afraid to kill.” He paused, looking up into my eyes for the first time since we’d begun speaking. “Y’know what’s the funny thing about this all? Georgia was going to die anyway, that heart she was supposed to get on the way back to Earth never existed. As for the Tipani’s land, it didn’t even have any unobtanium under it. The big ugly fucking tree just blocked the sunset to my room here and I was sick of it.” He smiled his bloody smile, before sighing.

Taking my foot off of the man, I kneel down to his body. In a sudden shift of movements, he would reach into his pocket, pulling out a smaller gun, firing this one into my face. Surprised by the sudden ringing, I reach up to feel my father’s mask break off and fall to the ground, small scratches forming on my cheeks from the wooden bits flying into my skin. Using my blade I knock the gun from the man’s hand.

“At least pray for me to be a good father in the next life kid.” He said, his body relaxing under me as if he was ready to die.

Raising my blade above my head, I bring it down into his chest, watching him cough violently.

“With this blade and Eywa’s grace, I take your life. With my prayers, I will sever your spirit so your evil may never be reborn. I give you over to Eywa so she may tear your spirit at the seams. May your evil never see my people again.”

Twisting the blade into his chest, I yank it out before driving the blade down into his throat so he can no longer spew his lies. Watching his body fall limp, I stand up, wiping my blade free of blood. I was free, my people were finally free to rest in the afterlife. Yet, it felt like a somewhat hollow victory. The RDA had already done so much for my people.

“I hope you can rest easy now, mother and father.”

Taking the man’s body I cringe at his disgusting smell, surprised he does not leak black. Tossing him into the flame and the debris of the RDA building, I move to the edge of the building whistling for Tetsa. Watching her limp on her front leg, I sigh and carefully jump from the roof of the building into the soft bush below.

Looking at the painting of myself and my people’s names, I gently remove my armor and place it on the ground.

“Forgive me for not being faster Keork’a,” I say, pressing my bloodied handprint into a spot beside her own.

Taking Tetsa, I lead her away into the jungle, as the humans of the RDA load into their large ship, taking off into the stars above.

Chapter Text

# DOTS - Chapter 20

I’d always thought my death would be a peaceful one. Something silent and calm like a walk through an endless meadow. When I realized I was in my father’s cold and empty grip I knew that wasn’t going to happen. Now I knew my soul was beyond saving. That the moment my father put that bullet through my head I’d be cast to the lowest pits of hell and crushed by brimstone. That his sins would bleed into my own, and condemn me to a fate worse than that of Sisyphus.

Yet, if this was death this was nothing like I’d expected. Everything felt empty. It was like I was being unwoven into nothingness. Silence was my only companion. Until the silence was replaced by cries of horror, the sounds of gunfire, and the crunch of death.

I wanted to say anything but I couldn’t make out words. Words were just a jumble of nothing inside of my mind. I knew my eyes were open but I couldn’t see anything aside from blobs of color. I think that’s what it was called. I couldn’t process the nitty-gritty details of it all.

Until everything began to come back to me slowly. Like my life thread was being combed open into something brilliant and bright, something vibrant and new.

The first thing was my smell, of course, lucky me. Everything smelled like the metallic tang of blood mixed in with the strong scent of musk. It was like I’d been dragged through a vat of fish oil, the smell quite heavy. If I was breathing I think I would have choked to death on the scent alone from how strong it was. I could smell everything. Hot metal, the strong smell of the wind, ashes, and more. So much more.

Then it was my taste rolling in, the taste of blood on my tongue. Also something strangely sweet, not sugary but something fruity and vibrant. I didn’t know what it was. It didn’t taste familiar, not like food, not like anything I could think of. Smooth, almost oily as the substance slipped between my lips, filling my stomach and my lungs. If I was breathing I wondered if I would have drowned to death from how much liquid filled my mouth. Who knows, maybe I was drowning and my failing brain thought water was sweet. I don’t know what was more strange. The fact that I could smell things or the fact that I could only taste blood and the strange oil that coated my inner mouth.

Then it was like a lit match was thrown onto me, spontaneously every inch of my body came to life like I was being bathed in flame. It was not a gentle heat either but like I’d been torn apart at the very seams of my soul. Hot Liquid Metal is what I became, my spirit shifting and molding into something else. I wanted to scream and cry out for help but I couldn’t even blink. I couldn’t move my arms but I felt my muscles twitching beside me. It was so strange to feel the molten going through every vein in my body. Like I’d been Achilles if he was dropped into the bubbling River Styx.

Without warning, I felt the mild throbbing in my chest wrench into something painful. If I didn’t know any better I would have guessed someone’s hand was wrapped around my heart, squeezing and pumping the molten through my body. The rhythm continued on its slow, steady, and torturous path. I wanted the pain to stop, I needed the pain to stop. I couldn’t handle it any longer. I could feel something pushing, something odd pushing through my stomach and pushing through my skin. Every time it moved I felt myself cringing, unable to even scream from the agony until the object was free. The hole it’d exited out of now began to weave itself closed, this feeling alone nearly as painful.

Then the heat rumbled within my head, that same feeling of my brain remolding itself as something pushed up and out of my head. Feeling my skin seal shut, I twitch for the first time in a long while, my fingers aching. I didn’t know where I was but I knew I was someplace, lying flat on my back. I could feel the cool metal table beneath me and hear the chittering of birds in the sky.

Then too quickly, the heat stopped. Like I was a molten sword pulled from a boiling crucible. I’d felt it all. The places in my body that were once riddled by blood were now sewn shut and closed. The oily liquid in my stomach and lungs now felt a little too real. Almost like the liquid sloshed around inside of me. It was strange though like the heat itself had gone deeper than my muscle and bone, but into my very spirit. I felt like a sponge seeping with the liquid, sopping wet and ready to be squeezed. Even that same hum I’d heard so many times seemed to be louder, more clear, as it kept its steady rhythm in my head.

Jolting upward, I gasped deeply and reached up to where my heart was chugging away in my chest. It was strange like, I’d been running for miles and not passed out yet types of strange.

Looking down at my body I see that I am naked, the only thing covering me being a thick white blanket. The area where my father shot through my stomach was now completely closed off. Reaching up to my forehead, I feel my temple only to feel the same closed skin. Maybe I was finally dead and this was my hell, being naked and slightly confused. The only thing on my body seemed to be a dog tag, the metal cool against my hot skin.

From where I was I could make out the faint sound of talking, something crashing in the background, and then metal against metal. Throwing my legs over the table I was on, I stand up slowly. Taking a few steps across the ground I look down to see curled patches of ivy and moss beneath me. I seemed to be inside of some sort of abandoned camper that had been taken over with plant life. In the back of the camper sat three large link units, along with what looked like a pile of clothes, food, and tools.

“Fuck!” Shouted a male voice, the same slamming coming from outside of the camper.

Reaching up to the wall, I fumble around for a moment before clutching an exopack and mask off the wall. Slipping the exopack onto my bare back and then the mask, I sigh and push open the camper door.

“Just calm down Royce!” Screamed a familiar voice, Rina?

“Calm down? I can’t go home, Rina. I’m *never* going to see my father again. Who’s gonna take care of him, huh? He can barely remember his goddamn name!” Royce shouted, throwing another rock into the side of the camper.

“And you think we both don’t want to see our families again? Georgia’s mother won’t even get to put her in the ground, and you’re fucking yelling at me because you can’t go home?” Rina shouted back, her voice carrying through the forest.

“Language you two! This isn’t helping anything.” Hughs snapped, his composure slipping for a moment.

Taking a few tentative steps around the camper, I slowly approach the group who looked worse for wear. Dr. Hughs was bent over Rina’s filter fidgeting with some knobs and wires while Rina and Royce seemed to be going back and forth. Judging by the vein appearing on Rina’s forehead I could only guess this had been happening for a while. Pulling my mask from my face, I clear my throat, it seems it wasn't needed with the filter being here.

“What is going on?” I croak out, my voice slowly coming back to me.

Watching the group turn in unison, they stare me down, all their faces paling as I take another step forward. Coming closer, I reach out for Rina only to have Royce pull his jacket from his body, quickly wrapping it around my shoulders. Being hoisted up into his arms, I feel my cheeks uncomfortably warm.

“Put me down! You act like you’ve never seen me before.” I say, swinging a foot out to kick the man in the leg.

“How,” Rina came forward, her hand sliding across my stomach and then up to my forehead. “How is this possible?” She said, pulling away to look me up and down.

Slapping her hand away from my body, I feel my cheeks warm yet again. Reaching out, I brush a bit of dust from her cheek only to have her slap my hand away.

“You mean getting my brain and torso cavity blown open and being here? I was going to ask you that.” Reaching out to Royce, I pat the scruff of his cheek. “Are you two going to kill each other?”

“Well, I think there are more pressing matters than killing. I’ve seen enough of that today.” Royce said, reaching out to touch my forehead. “You’re here, right? This isn’t some freaky parasite taking your body?” He reached out, giving my cheeks a meek squeeze.

“I haven’t let anything freaky in my body Royce,” I said, reaching up to the dog tags around my neck. “At least as far as I know at least. The last thing I remember is shooting my dad’s vials of Amrita and then him killing me. It’s gonna make for an awkward Thanksgiving when he sees I’m still walking around.”

Shooting a look to Rina over my shoulder, Royce clears his throat and sits in the grass.

“Why don’t you have a seat Georgia? You can let us have a look at you and we can talk about what happened,” She took my hand, helping me take a seat in Royce’s lap. “What exactly happened that day?” Rina said, slipping off her coat, and placing it on the ground for her to kneel beside me.

Moving my fingers over my phantom wound, I feel a nervous stirring in my stomach.

“Well, it’s pretty simple. I stopped taking my meds a few days prior and I stopped eating too.” Slipping my shoulder out of Royce’s coat, I try to cover myself and allow her to examine my skin. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t want to be *here* anymore. I couldn’t exactly just bite the bullet though because my father would have hurt you all if he knew about that, so I just sorta dealt with it.”

Wincing, I look over to see Rina gently cutting into my arm with a small blade. I didn’t question her though.

“I don’t understand, why would you not say anything? We could have helped.” Royce said, resting his chin on the top of my head.

“If only it were that easy. He has been threatening to kill you all for ages. So I just sucked it up because I was so scared he would want to hurt you guys. Everything just kinda kept building up that day. I went with my dad to meet this future husband of mine and I just sorta crashed. It’s like the little will to live I had faded into this overbearing anger. I lost it on my father and I took down his,” wincing when she slices into the same spot, I look down to see her staring at the blade and my arm.

“Supply of amrita. By the time I finished shooting the vial, he returned the favor by putting one through my stomach and my skull. I don’t remember anything else after that.”

Reaching out to Rina, I stop her slicing and grab her wrist. That same searing pain lit up my arm with every slice she made. For a second you would have thought she was trying to reintroduce me back to death.

“That hurts!” I said, trying to nudge her away.

“What was it like? Your death?” Hughs said, Popping a squat in front of me.

Even with bags under his eyes, he seemed rather excited, like I’d just spoken of the lottery.

“It was quite nice… if I even died I guess? It was like being in a sea of nothingness and just floating all alone. It wasn’t *lonely* though. It felt warm and comforting. When I started uh, waking up, I could taste, hear, and feel again though. That was quite painful.” I laughed, tucking my legs against my body. “Then I pretty much woke up here.”

Feeling Royce shift beneath me, he clears his throat again.

“Well,” Rina said, looking at the blood on her blade, the color a deep shimmering red. “We were all in the cafeteria when we heard the gunshots. We got up and went to look for you and that’s when all hell broke loose. The Tipani came in armed to the teeth and began attacking anyone who didn’t surrender.” She looked away from me, slicing the blade’s end through a small plant.

“The Tipani?” I said, squeezing Royce’s thigh. “All of them?”

No one answered, instead Rina took off her glasses, pushing them back into her sea of black hair.

“Not all of them of course, just enough,” Royce said, his thumbs touching between my fingers. “I almost took an arrow to the chest until Hughs vouched for me,” Royce said with a chuckle. “Before that, I found Ik’tanhì with your body, he wouldn’t even let me near you until Rina came. I’m guessing I’m not his biggest fan.” He released my hand nodding toward Rina.

“That’s when I got to Royce and Ik’tanhì. He asked who did this to you and well, it was obvious. I tried to stop Ik’tanhì from going after your father but it was too late to change his mind. He nearly shoved me to the ground to move me out of his way.” She continued to examine the small plant in front of her, its leaflet sewing itself shut.

“After that, we were just scrambling to get our things with the Na’vi rushing us. Most of the guards were dead and those who didn’t die were forced to leave on the last shuttle. We got as much as we could take and by the time we were in the air to come to this place, we saw your father and Ik’tanhì having a standoff on the roof. I didn’t need to see it to know your father died, he burned with the RDA.” Rina slid her thumb across where she’d sliced my arm moments ago, her voice sullen.

Not only had Ik’tanhì been there but he killed my father and he’d held my body? Maybe he was disappointed that it wasn’t his own hands to fully end my bloodline. I wondered what he’d do now if he knew I was alive. Then there was my father. Was it odd to not feel any semblance of sadness at his death? He’d hurt so many people and now, everyone would be free of his evil for good.

“Good,” I said, slamming my fist into the palm of my hand. “He was a horrible man and I promised I would drag him to hell with me.”

Standing up, I roll my shoulders and smile.

“Also means my mother gets everything he has. When another shuttle comes and we go home I can’t wait for you all to meet her. Now that we don’t need to worry about my dad you can even have a share of everything and maybe-”

“No.” Said Hughs, cutting me off.

Pausing, I look down at him only to watch him stand and sigh.

“No? You don’t want to meet my mother? You don’t have to I understand if this all left a bad taste in your mouth but-”

“Georgia, there is no meeting your mother, there’s no going back to Earth,” Rina said from behind me. “I don’t think I was clear enough. The *last* shuttle left. There is no more RDA here either unless we get lucky and someone comes back but we don’t know how long that could take. If we are lucky it will be at least six years until everyone on the shuttle gets back to Earth and maybe six more to send a ship back and even then another 6 years to get back. Do you think someone would spend 18 years of their life to bring us back?” She said, her voice beginning to waver as she spoke. “We didn’t know how long things would go on so we took our Na’vi bodies with us and some stasis pods. Hell, we didn’t even know you were going to wake up and just walk here like it’s nothing. We were looking for a place to bury you for the last three days but we found nothing of the sort.” Her speech grew quicker, small tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. “I think this planet is beautiful, I like it here on Pandora but this wasn’t supposed to be my life. So no Georgia, there is no going home, I’m sorry.”

I hated that she was right, and I hated myself even more for this. This was all my fault, all because I decided to kiss a boy.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “If I just listened to my father we wouldn’t even be here right now. I was selfish and now I’ve practically stuck you with a future you didn’t ask for.” Reaching a hand out toward Rina she pulls away, wiping her cheek clean.

“Stupid, it’s not your fault. Anyone with a bit of sense could see that this wasn’t some freak accident. They were organized and fast like it was all planned. They knew the inside of the facility so well when they’d never been inside. Well aside from…” She trailed off, still sniffling. “Anyway, I think I know why you’re here and all alive now.” She stands up, coming toward me.

Taking my arm in her hands, she holds it outward toward Hughs and Royce. Following her gaze, I look down to see the area where she previously cut me completely healed. Not even a scar had been left behind from her blade.

“When I cleaned the blood from your body I noticed that you were also drenched in something. I didn’t know until now though that it was Amrita. I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure you soaked up all the amrita and it healed you up before you died. We knew it had healing properties but no one thought this much would be able to reverse someone from death’s doorstep.” She took her blade again, carving it into the palm of my hand.

Hissing in pain, I yank my hand away only to feel the burning sensation from before. Watching my hand slowly knit its wound closed, I stare in awe.

“Fuck, so I’m some sort of healing sponge?” I say, flexing my hand as the wound closes completely.

“Language, and yes I believe you could say that. Amrita was used to prolong age and well, if what you say is correct then you sucked up enough to live forever but you also died so I don’t think the healing will last too long. This is all speculation on my end, the tulkun are very spiritual creatures and we just haven’t been able to get to know them that well. For all we know you could drop at any moment. I’m guessing it’s likely you’re a spirit trapped in a healed corpse.” He began to theorize and I found myself laughing as I touched my stomach.

He was yapping about me possibly dying and rambling on in the same breath. It was baffling.

“So, I’m like Barbie Jesus?” I say, looking toward Rina who by now seemed to have calmed down. Yet her movements seemed strange now like she was contemplating something.

“What’s that look?” I ask, my arms crossing to cover my chest again. “Are you gonna have to like milk this stuff outta me?”

“No, no one is getting milked. Since we are probably stuck here forever it would be best not to be in our human forms. The whole survival thing. The Tipani are familiar with Hughs and I. Royce would most likely be welcomed in too considering everything. However, you Georgia, your Na’vi body is far away and we only have three pods. It’s not that I’m saying we should toss you to the wolves. I just think there are better options for you.” She spoke vaguely, her finger tracing the air as she continued bouncing between her thoughts, it made me feel even more uneasy.

“Better options?” I ask, stepping closer to her.

“Well, we can’t travel with you to the Katotxampay. Not only have we never met their people but I’m sure all of us showing up at once would only cause trouble. We could travel back to the Tipani but I don’t think you would be welcomed there either. I think we need to split up.” She sighed, placing her glasses back on her nose.

“So you want me to go off and find my Na’vi body alone? And do what exactly? It’s not like the Katotxampay has a link unit. Plus if what Hughs said is right I could just drop in a moment’s notice.” Reaching up to Royce’s dog tag, I gently fumble with it.

“The Na’vi have a way of linking your body to your Na’vi body but it’s permanent. Usually, it’s meant for warriors to store their memories to pass on to the next generations but in your case, it could just save your life. It’s also for emergencies and even though I’ve only heard of one successful case, something is better than nothing. Science doesn’t really work here. Your body and will to live need to be strong and you already died Georgia. If you think you might die again I think it’s a risk worth taking.” She sighs, finally looking into my eyes. “It’s your choice.”

A seed of doubt blossomed in my stomach. Was I prepared to live when I’d been so ready to die just days ago? There was so much I didn’t get to do, so much I never got to see. So much so that the shock of my possible doom was suffocated by something else.

“I’ll do it,” I said firmly. “I haven’t gotten to live and I’ve already died once. At least I can live my life not having to worry about my heart or some other body part not working on me. Plus, not to sound cheesy but the old Georgia is literally dead.” Rolling my shoulders, I feel a small pang in my chest, as if the healing I’d just gone through began to reverse in time, the wicked sand clock of my human life came lapping at my heels. “Let’s get moving.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 21

You know, I was beginning to hate that others were always right about me or my body. Hughs was correct in his theory about me healing. My body slowly began to fall back into its old routine of feeling like shit, except this time it wasn’t my heart. It wasn’t that I was tired or that I’d been in too much pain. No, it was more like this vessel of mine began to ache in ways I couldn’t explain. My fingers felt too small, my body felt too light, and my being felt too tiny to contain the raging spirit inside of me. I wouldn’t be surprised if I somehow ended up passing away before I reached the Katotxampay.

This little journey of mine was never easy though. The sun seemed to beat down harder than usual, my brown skin stinging from the lack of sunscreen or proper shade. The only thing that seemed to help was smearing thick wet mud across my arms and face, the caked-on layer soothing my burning skin. It helped when I thought of it like a clay or mud bath.

I silently thanked Yula’vo and the other women of the clan for taking me under their wing. I wonder if they would giggle now, seeing me drink the sweet morning dew from the violet a’o leaves. Their heart-shaped leaves are perfect for collecting all types of liquids. Gathering water was easy though, it came in abundance from the fresh springs or the daily humidity. It was getting something to eat which left me less chipper. I knew I wasn’t allowed to carve into any of the trees so instead I had to fashion a spear from a pliable bamboo-like plant. It was nowhere near as strong to use as a hunting spear but I had to make do. It was more than enough though to knock down low-hanging melon fruit. Hell, I’d even taken a few of the fruits with me. They were heavy but it was more than enough to keep my dying body fed.

It was bizarre now to eat the fruit all on my own, I could remember when I shared one with Ik’tanhì. We were in the jungle looking for plants I could use to fashion my own clothes. I’d been complaining nonstop about feeling too naked in the things he managed to make for me. The smell of the melon and its pinkish-violet insides reminded me of him. It was comforting to think this way, it helped fill my wandering lonely mind. It also helped that the fruit was better than the meal bars Royce had taken before he left the now-decimated RDA building.

I wonder what Royce and Rina are doing right now actually. I wonder if they’d found the Tipani or if they two were facing the hardships of the jungle. Did they also have to watch for animal tracks the same way I did? Did they have to bury their evidence of restroom usage so the rainwater wouldn’t unearth their movements? According to Rina, it was the end of summer and right now all the forest animals were teaching their young how to survive, so I’d need to be on high alert. The three days of doing this all felt routine now.

Now here I was, crouched over some river water, gingerly washing my skin clean. The last thing I needed was to rest covered in mud that I’d been caked in all day. Looking down at my stomach, I see a small bruise beginning to form. I was beginning to think that my spirit was drinking through my body’s vigor.

“Fuck that,” I mumbled, taking a handful of cool water to the bruise. I just prayed I didn’t open up some sick horror show.

Quickly finishing up my wash, I slip into the clothes Rina had so kindly provided. I wasn’t exactly her size. Her shirt was a bit tight around the chest and her pants had to be worn with a button undone but it was enough to keep me going. Turning to the bag I’d been given, I pry it open and pull out the makeshift Marui I’d made. It was nothing but some plant-made twine and some leaves but it was enough to keep me safe for the night, anything but sleeping on the ground worked. Being in my Marui all alone at night sucked though, only for the fact that I was alone, and when I was alone, my mind wandered to dangerous places.

My father…the man who I’d seen as my father shot and killed me. Yeah, I knew he was cruel but it still made my heartache to know that he saw me as nothing but a pawn. I spent nights alone crying over him, crying over the man he used to be. Maybe it was my fault he’d fallen so low. Maybe I should have begged him to stay with me or even begged him to take me with him. Would I have convinced him not to be such a wicked person? I thought about who he might have been if he wasn’t born a Stringer himself. I could only grieve for him. I grieved for the child he could have been, I grieved because I think he truly did love me at a time.

As I came to the tree I’d called home for the night, I let my mind drift more. Something I’d gotten used to in my solitude. Carefully climbing the thick trunk of the tree, I wince from the slight aching near my wound. Pulling myself onto the next few branches, I stop when I feel like I'm high enough to not be devoured by some land animal.

I wish I could have met my father when he was a child when his father placed the weight of the world on his little shoulders. I would have played catch with him, I would have listened to him tell me boys were not allowed to cry and I would have comforted him. I would have let him be a child, unlike my grandfather before him. Would it have changed who he became though? Would it have made him love me or would he have continued to love the idea of my mother through me?

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I scoot forward on the branch and carefully tie the Marui into place. The last thing I needed was for this thing to slam into the ground while I was sleeping. There was nothing that screamed wake up like broken bones.

Tying the other end of the Marui to the main trunk of the tree I sigh and carefully slide into the makeshift tent.

Thinking of my father was enough to send me into a spiral but I couldn’t let my thoughts drift to my mother. I know I was being selfish, to think of her right now. The Na’vi finally got their win, they got part of their planet back to themselves after years of war and here I was, moping over someone who killed me and someone I’d never see again. I just prayed this sadness didn’t consume me.

And then there was Ik’tanhì. Every time I’d thought about him I couldn’t help but feel nervous. A cold sweat formed on my skin just thinking about the fact that he held my corpse in his hands when the Tipani attacked. I wonder if he came there to kill me or to possibly reconcile but even then I’d probably be forced back on a shuttle through space. Either way, I would have deserved any fate he saw fit. Hell, if there was one thing I couldn’t forget it was his face when I told him that my father was Charles Stringer.

Would he even want to see me anymore or would it only make him angrier? Would he remember my betrayal or would he question why I was back? I felt like I was being twisted in two. Was I just my father’s daughter? Someone who murdered others for her gain or was I just Georgia, the girl who’d fallen in love with an alien planet and its people to the point of dying for it?

The sound of my growling stomach pulled me away from my internal ramblings. Looking out toward the dusky sky I see we are no longer in the season where we had dusk-like nights, now it was just a sea of inky black and twinkling stars.

Fishing Hughs’s compass from my pocket, I turn it over and look at a small Polaroid photo on the back. Rina, Royce and I had managed to make him some funky ass cake out of Na’vi foods and human flour. It was disgusting but we’d all choked it down to make Hughs happy for his birthday. At first, I thought he gave me the compass for direction. Maybe he wanted to point me toward life.

Fishing some melon from my bag, I quickly chow down. I needed to sleep if I wanted to make it to the clan tomorrow. I’d have more than enough time to have an existential crisis tomorrow. My body was beginning to ache and I needed the rest. Taking the pieces of melon skin, I toss them as far from the Marui as I can throw. I didn’t even want the scent to attract anything.

Making sure my exopack is on and secure, I curl up into a ball and hug my legs to my body. Falling asleep was easier these days. Feeling my body relax, I close my eyes and doze off.

That night, I dreamed of nothing but myself floating among the sea creatures as if my soul were escaping my body to visit places I’d never seen. I thanked Eywa for giving me a break from the shitstorm nightmares I’d probably be having instead.

The next day was nevertheless the same. I moved through the jungle eating, checking the compass, and continuing toward the Katotxampay. You would think a few fruit, some water, and a compass would be light enough but everything was beginning to feel too heavy to carry, even for me. When I’d made enough space away from the denser part of the jungle I found myself humming an old song. It was something my mother used to love as a child, she always claimed that she was born in the wrong generation, cringe but in a cheesy sort of way. I would never get the chance to tell her how much I loved her singing. A part of me hoped that she would at least get my last video message and know that I was okay, that she would be okay with knowing I died happy.

My train of thought began to wash away from my mind, literally. Pushing a few plants to the side, I nearly cry from the sight before me—beautiful sandy white beaches and miles after mile of ocean. I’d finally made it, I was finally here. Feeling a sudden burst of energy, I push off into the sand, kicking off the heavy boots that I’d been wearing. Feeling the dense wet sand beneath my feet, I let out a sigh of relief before beginning to scour the sand.

“Where are they, think Georgia.” I groaned, moving knee-deep into the water. I didn’t want to step in too far. Knowing me I’d end up in the mouth of some fish. Feeling my foot touches something bumpy, I squat down and begin to pry the object from the sand. “There you are,” I said looking over the large shell in my hands.

Brushing away the sand from the shell I give it a gentle twirl in my hands. I’d seen this shell before, it was the same one used by the guards of the clan. Making sure all of the sand is removed, I inhale deeply before reaching up to remove my mask. Blowing into the end of the shell quickly, I snap my mask back on inhaling deeply. In my Na’vi body, these seemed so much smaller but with this form, it felt more like a cinderblock. I just prayed it would be heard.

“Please,” I whispered, taking a seat in the sand, my body exposed to the sun’s crispy rays.

Blowing into the shell a few more times, I stop when I hear the same humming in my head.

I’d had a feeling that the humming I’d heard time and time again was Eywa, hell I knew it was her. I could feel it. I could feel her breathing, I could feel her heartbeat on the planet beneath my feet. I could swear I could even sense her around me. Closing my eyes, I simply listen as the humming becomes louder, now blending into a familiar sweet song I’d heard not too long ago.

“Spirit sister?” Opening my eyes, I see a large set of amber eyes staring back at me from across the waters.

There was no doubt in my mind that she wasn’t Nayfyì. I could tell easily from the little calf which swam around her in small circles, Popu’s little soft fins were the same color as his mother’s. Standing up, I walk into the water and swim toward the large Tulkun until I can scramble onto her large fin. She let out a high-pitched vocal cry, her amber eyes narrowed in confusion.

“I will explain more but please, I need you to take me to the clan, I have much to tell you and not a lot of time.” I signed, scooting forward on her fin.

It was probably strange for her to see me like this, but I was just getting some rest on top of her. If I managed to survive my transfer I would swim with her and Popu whenever I had the time.

We went in silence for hours, aside from me trying to sign everything to her. Some human words were a little hard to translate. Things like guns became harpoons and things like amrita became the blood of her people.

I could tell that seemed to worry her further when I’d explained my death and absorbed her people’s essence. She seemed a little shaken but not surprised by the way she looked at the bruise on my stomach and the small one beginning to blossom on my forehead.

“I will be fine,” I signed, yawning a little. “If I am lucky, I will be able to come back more often.” Stroking Popu’s head, I watch him vanish into the waters, slipping into his mother’s mouth, seemingly tired from the long journey we’d been on today.

Hearing Nayfyi begin to hum, I carefully move off of her fin so she can rest it. Crawling onto her back I make sure to avoid her blowholes. Her beautiful hum for Popu reminded me of my mother, reminded me of the song she’d last given to me. For the first time in a long time, I felt my eyes wetting, as the song came to mind drifting from my lips.

“Every time we say goodbye, I die a little. Every time we say goodbye. I wonder why a little. Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know, think so little of me, they allow you to go? When you're near there’s such an air of spring about it. I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it.” I sang the song, my eyes closed as we sailed on.

It felt good to cry for my mother. To know the last of my human emotions would be given to her and everything she did for me, even when I’d left her all alone. Hearing Nayfyi begin to hum the song from my memory, I lay on her back, my hand gently stroking her plates. Listening to her singing, I feel myself slip away, lulled into my first peaceful sleep in ages.

That night to my surprise, I dreamed about my mother.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 22

When I’d awoken hours later, my stomach ached like no other, the same pain a dull throbbing in the center of my head. When I looked down at my stomach, I could see that the bruise was now a nasty deep indigo color.

Brushing my fingers down the bruise, a sharp pain shoots through my abdomen. It was akin to what I’d assume being stabbed would feel like. There was no doubt that beneath my skin and muscle, my body was broken inside, slowly reverting to my death-like state. The skin was still there though. Healed externally but wounded internally. I wonder if my brain would begin to mush as well.

I tried my best not to bother it, instead opting to play with Popu. Apparently, he was learning to fish on his own. It was rather cute to watch him push his catches onto his mother’s fin for me to eat. I only wished I had the energy and material to roast the fish. So instead I carefully cut them into thin narrow strips, laying them down on stray thin strips of seaweed. It took them some time to dry out but by the time they did, I scarfed down the sweet meat, the fish reminding me of snapper. Water was a bit harder to come by, I’d had just a little leftover from yesterday after nursing myself on the water all day to not dehydrate.

Now I sat on the edge of Nayfyì’s fin, sometimes touching the surface of the water. It seemed as if most fish made way for her, not out of fear but out of respect. All the fish aside from Popu that is. He had the little habit of placing his head under where I sat on his mother’s fin in an attempt to push me into the water.

“Stop it Popu.” I signed, “I can not swim like this.” I signed, before reaching out to pat his head.

Watching him let out a small high-pitched cry, he grasps my leg and yanks me off his mother’s fin and into the water. Wincing from the pain in my ribcage, I hold still and feel Popu release me. Listening to Nayfyì cry as well, I pull myself to the surface. Looking in the direction she’d begun to turn, I could see the clan in the distance, the familiar maruis closer than I’d expected. Had it been that long since I’d been here? That I’d noticed just how close we were.

The butterflies that danced in my stomach began to buzz as I watched Na’vi begin to move along the beach, the sound of shell horns carrying across the empty ocean. From the looks of it the hunters had returned, I could easily tell from the walking wall of muscle and tattoos that waded into the water. I suddenly felt rather aware of how gross I was. I probably looked like a delicate push from death and I knew that I smelled of seawater.

Combing my fingers through the end of my hair I silently curse Hughs for not giving me a brush instead. My hair wasn’t a rat’s nest but it was nothing you’d see on the cover of a magazine. Carefully raising my hands in the air, I try to sign.

“It’s me Georgia, please help.” I’d not noticed it until now but even the space around my wrists had grown thinner, as if my human body were truly preparing to shut down.

Turning around in the waters, I hold up my hands toward Nayfyì.

“Thank you for saving my life again, sister. I will see you again when I am better,” turning to Popu I give him a small kiss on the head before moving backward toward the clan.

Watching the pair sink into the waters I turn around and begin to swim toward the shore only to see a Na’vi coming toward me. It was funny, to think the same people who scowled at me months ago now looked concerned.

“Keork’a!” Nguyo said, now close enough to grasp me. The fresh tattoos along his body were a sign of everything he’d done in my absence.

Feeling his arms loop under my body, he brings me back toward the shore and I relax in his warm grasp. It was nice to touch something warm that wasn’t the scorching sunlight. Placing a hand on his chest, I smile even through my shivers.

“You got your tattoos Nguyo,” I said, resting my head on his arm. I didn’t notice until now just how tired I was. Watching my vision blank, I relax in his body even as my name is called.

I awoke flat against the ground, my exposed skin wrapped in small bits of leaves. I couldn’t tell how long I’d been out but when I awoke the wound on my stomach was covered in a thick salve, the same for the wound on my forehead. My body felt overall cleaner, even my hair had been braided out of my face. I could also see that my human clothes had been cut off my body and I was instead wrapped in a mesh-like netting which made me hope I’d been changed by a woman.

“You’re awake! That is good. I was worried,” Yula’vo said as she came into the Marui, Nguyo at her hip with a steaming bowl of food in his hands. I didn’t need to know what it was, all I knew was that it smelled good enough to drool over.

“You shouldn’t worry about me,” I said, wincing as I sat upright. “You need to worry about your baby.”

“Do not worry? Are you so foolish? My baby did not wash up on the beach covered in wounds.” She scolded, her hand pinching the bridge of her nose. “You come here in your sky people body covered and smelling of blood. Your heartbeat was so faint we thought you would die in Nguyo’s arms and you tell me not to worry?” Her bottom lip quivered, her calm demeanor quickly replaced by anger.

It’d not occurred to me how much worry I probably put the others into. I’d held the Na’vi on this untouchable pedestal that I sometimes forgot they also had feelings. I had forgotten how much others could simply feel. Trying to stand up, I wince and reach out for her.

“Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Taking another step forward, I stop and sit back down on the ground unable to move.

“Save your apologies for later. Tell me what happened.” She leaned against the entrance as Nguyo carefully moved past her to take a seat beside me.

In the bowl he’d been holding appeared to be one of the fish I’d first eaten when I came here, except it wasn’t covered in sand. He even cut the food into small human-sized strips which made me smile. It was oddly comforting to smile for once.

“Sister,” Nguyo looked up to Yula’vo, sending her a puppy-eyed frown. “She should eat first.” He said, placing the bowl in front of me.

Picking up a piece of hot fish I begin to eat it right away, stuffing it into my mouth along with what I could only assume was some sort of steamed dough. I probably looked like a starving toddler but I didn’t give a fuck. If I died in a few moments I’d enjoy my last meal at least. Taking a bite of the steamed dough, I place the bowl on my lap and sigh.

“It will be a bit lengthy to say but,” I took another bite of fish, polishing off the food. “I got time.” Placing the empty bowl down, Nguyo happily picks it up.

Explaining what I’ve been through the last few days, Yula’vo and Nguyo both make the same disgusted faces. It was strange to see the beautiful pair so visibly upset.

“Your father would kill you? Filthy coward.” He looked down at my stomach and then my forehead.

I’d left out the part about how my father died. That was Ik’tanhì’s tale to tell if he would ever return. I’d not seen him earlier so I assumed he just wanted to keep to himself or maybe he was not here at all. Either that or he didn’t want to come and check on me.

“And you say you have time? You should have said you were dying first, Keork’a. Nguyo, please keep her safe, I will get the Tsahìk here for you.” Yula’vo stepped backward, waddling along the nets.

Watching her walk off, I reach out to the bowl running my thumb across the edge. I’d not noticed it until now but they’d removed my mask. I didn’t notice how long I’d been without it until now. I wondered if the healing powers of the amrita were somehow filtering the oxygen I needed in my cells. It would explain why I felt worse, it was probably working overtime.

“Keork’a,” Nguyo said, reaching down to gently hold my weak hand. “Why didn’t you tell me you were suffering like this? I would have saved you.” He moved closer, his hands moving under my arms.

Being drawn forward, he sits me down in his lap, his arms holding me close. I didn’t feel like protesting either, it was warmer in his grasp.

“And put you in danger too? My father already hurt so many people, he is dead now and he can’t hurt anyone else. Telling you would have been foolish.”

“Then I am a fool. What makes your life any less than my own?” He laughs, his fingers tracing across the cold spots of my arm. His thick hot fingers traced away any cool in my skin.

“But we’re quite different, you’re special, you’re everything,” I say softly. “Sky people are nothing like the Na’vi.”

Feeling his gaze on my stomach and forehead, he scoffs and shakes his head no.

“You bleed like us, and you have feelings like us,” his hand grazes my arm, moving upward to toy with the ends of my hair. “You smile like us minus your fangs and your hair grows like ours.” His eyes went down for a moment, his thumb sliding across my thigh. “You have no tail but you have fur.”

I felt a warm glow spread across my cheeks as I reached down to stop his hand from exploring any further. Standing up, I turn so I am face-to-face with him.

“You’ve made your point Nguyo. I just want to protect the people I care about the same way you do. Don’t you think I could protect you? I’m small but if I’m lucky I won’t be soon. I could properly take you on.”

Nguyo grinned, reaching up to remove a small strap of leather that had been holding his hair together. Placing his hands on my waist he pulls me forward and places a gentle kiss on my stomach, the salve-covered leaf on my abdomen a barrier between his mouth and my skin. All the pain I’d been feeling in my stomach and head simmered away leaving space for my thoughts to wander.

His hands were quick to leave my waist, instead grasping my wrists and placing them behind my back. The leather strap he’d used for his hair now wrapped around my wrists in some sort of fishermen’s knot.

I should have seen it coming, the pretty smile, the twinkle in his eye, and yet I fell for it all or maybe I knew it was going to happen in the back of my mind somewhere.

“How much of me could you take on?” He said, his tone dripping with flirtation. He turned me around so I now faced the entrance of the Marui.

The thought of someone else walking in and seeing me like this made my heart race. The human girl who was so easily overwhelmed all because she was touch starved. His fingers were hotter now, creeping along the hem of the netted shirt I’d been placed in. Just low enough to cause me to squirm.

“Here?” He asked, tracing his finger upward stopping short of my navel. “Or here. Maybe you can take me on here.” He slid his hand down further, cupping my pussy.

Every word and every thought exited my mind like a one-way street. If he were a human man I could have shrugged this off easily, no man who’d ever touched me back on Earth cherished intimacy. Nguyo made me feel like an inexperienced virgin as he pressed a kiss to my lower spine, my mind nothing but putty as I bit on the entirety of my lower lip to stay silent. The last thing I needed was the whole clan hearing me being teased or walking in on Nguyo toying with the weak girl.

My breathing became unsteady and my whole body felt flush. I’d felt attracted to him before, hell even slightly turned on but never had I wanted to be so absolutely ravaged as I did now. I wondered if my little revive stunt somehow drove my emotions through the ceiling. Maybe he was right to bind my hands behind my back because I would have allowed him to tear this weak vessel in half if he asked. Feeling his fingers tease my thighs, I close my eyes trying to steady myself so I don’t fall over. His fingers were gentle, teasing, and hesitating to venture further inward. His breath was warm but felt like a searing flame against my icy skin. Feeling another press to the small of my back I whimper like the pathetic woman I am, my body trembling in anticipation.

“Be quiet for me.” He chuckled, beginning to undo the binds around my wrists. “We have company.” He whispered the second part, withdrawing away from me.

Looking to the entrance, I hear the sound of small shifting beads coming our way. First Ik’tanhì and now the Tsahìk. Who would deny me next?

Taking a seat beside Nguyo, I readjust myself and try to clear my mind and calm down. I could hear him chuckling beside me, his hand grasping for my own. Smacking him away, I watch the Tsahìk come into the Marui, her eyes looking me up and down. I hoped my heavy breathing would be mistaken for nothing but simple strain from my injuries. I wonder how far things would have gotten if we had more time. Would I have let Nguyo go that far anyway or maybe I would have just stopped. Maybe I let him in because I wanted to be wanted by someone, anyone.

“Keork’a.” She greeted me with no hint of a smile on her face.

Without warning she approached me, her body inches from my own.

“Tsahìk.” I greeted back, my hand meeting my forehead and chest causing two equal winces of pain. Even pushing myself to my feet was becoming somewhat of a hassle.

“So it seems you’ve come back to us. First I heard you have died and now I see you walking in front of me. I’m unsure which I should believe, so walk with me and explain, child.” She held a hand out and I took it, exiting the Marui with her.

Nguyo stood to accompany only to have Yula’vo hold her brother in place.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d sooner vomit my organs out than go for a stroll but who was I to turn down my hopefully soon-to-be benefactor?

“How did you know I had died? Did Yula’vo tell you?” I asked, holding onto the woman’s hand like somewhat of a child. She wasn’t as large as Yula’vo or Nguyo so it was easier to walk beside her.

She shook her head with a laugh, her eyes scanning the open air around us.

“Ik'tanhì came to me in a fuss like the child he is. He asked to be given more work, his head clouded by emotion. When I’d told him to explain himself he kept things short and to the point.” She clicked her tongue in annoyance, something that reminded me of my own mother. She would often do the same whenever I chewed gum too loudly for her to hear her own thoughts, in her own words.

“So I’m guessing he told you that-”

“That you are the daughter of Charles Stringer? No, I didn’t need him for that. Do you think I would allow you into my clan without having found out who are you? If your intentions were anything but pure I would have left you to wander the jungle the day after I spared your life. Eywa saved you from the blade, yes but you saved yourself by simply being you Keork’a.” She smiled and placed a hand on my head. “

It was shocking to think the Tsahìk knew all along. I wonder if it was why she’d been observing me from afar.

“Well, at least you aren’t upset with me. I was worried the clan might have exiled me.” Toying with my net shirt with my free hand, I stop at the edge of the beach.

From the looks of it, Yula’vo had gathered the Na’vi she could spread the word to. It wasn’t the whole clan but it was enough people for their whispers to turn into a hush as the Tsahìk and I got closer.

“Being exiled is not only up to me, child. I can not save you alone. If you want the help of the clan, then you must be truthful with the clan.” She spoke softly, moving through the crowd like a hot knife through cold butter.

Ah, so this is why she wanted to have a stroll with me. I guess if I was told to come here on my own I might have chickened out or made things worse. It was also clear that I was the only uninformed one of what was happening.

By the time I stood in the center of the crowd, I felt rather nude, like every set of eyes was on my body. Probably those curious as to why I was here in my sky people’s body, or those more curious about my body in general. I could hear Na’vi children asking where my tail or ears were, only to be hushed by their parents. Having my hand released, I nudged forward in front of the clan. It felt weird being so small when trying to sound serious.

“You all must be wondering why you are here and I would first like to be honest with you before I say anything else. My father is…” I hesitated for a moment, my eyes scanning over the many faces in the crowd.

In my mind all I could see was Ik'tanhì wishing to be rid of me and my stomach ran warm, the wound stinging. I didn’t know who to look at or where to look, only that I was looking for someone, anyone to talk to directly. Looking through the many faces of the clan, I stop when I see Nguyo who had been sitting beside Yula’vo and her mate. If the siblings knew and didn’t judge me maybe the clan would have mercy.

“My father is Charles Stringer.” I forced the words out, my body feeling as if I’d just been shackled down yet again by the Stringer name.

The near-silent whispers brewed into small talk, a few whispers more surprised than upset.

“When I first came to Eywa’eveng I believe that I was like him, my father. I grew up selfish and cruel, his perfect little copy. I was rude to you all nor did I appreciate your culture like I should have. Even when you were so kind to me to take me in, I took that for granted.” I wish my words were only directed at Nguyo but I pried my faze from his own to look at the sea of faces around me.

“Being here with you all has made me feel more alive than I have ever felt. You taught me things I never thought someone as cruel as me would be capable of learning. Back on Earth, everyone is selfish and lives for themself so it was quite hard for me to break from that mold. As for every wicked deed my father has done, I have never personally harmed any Tulkun or Na’vi but I did live comfortably from your suffering because I was too ignorant and weak to have stopped my father. I sat in stone buildings taller than the clouds while you all suffered for my family’s fake, yet I couldn’t even take the time to learn how to say hello.” Clearing my throat, I straighten up. “I bent to his will hoping that my life could somehow make up for the horrible things he did, yet, even now I am weak and dying. Just a few days ago…” The words caught in my throat, my eyes stinging from the salty tears.

“He forced me to offer my body up. I would have to mate someone by force so he could stop hurting the people I care about, to stop hurting you all. I ask you to forgive me for being so weak and forgive me for being a coward.” Bowing toward the crowd, I keep my head bent, watching my tears begin to dot the sand.

“I know that an apology could never make up for my father’s horrible actions and I understand if you hate me or wish to take my life to atone for what he did. I just ask that you please forgive me.”

Everything was silent until a familiar deep voice from beside me spoke up.

“If we blame you for your father’s actions we would be no less cruel,” Nguyo said as I straightened up. “You are your father’s child, yes but you are not his sins.”

“I agree with my brother, you are your own person. You even went out of your way to save a tulkun by yourself. Only a foolish person would do something like that but you are a fool out of compassion.” Yula’vo said, her hand gliding over her stomach. “You are not your father.”

“Everyone is born twice, Keork’a.” Said the Tsahìk, her voice softening. “Eywa saved you from the blade for a reason. She does not make mistakes.” She wiped the tears from my face with a sigh, “Though you made the mistake of not telling the clan sooner, we would have protected you. Do we seem like fragile sky people?” She lifted my arm as if mentioning my slightly thinning state.

Turning to the people of the clan, she raises my arm and removes the bandaged leaf from my stomach. The bruise under was now a deep shade of indigo, perfect to match the wound on my forehead.

Feeling her hand brush along my stomach, I let out a pained cry, the feeling of a dislodged rib poking against my inner body.

“You are the fragile one. You need to leave this body behind and be reborn child, now.” She moved her hand up to my bruised head, her fingers hovering over the area. “You do not have long. Nguyo, take her and bring her to the cove of the Ancestors. Wumut, bring her other body and be hasty. Time is not on our side.” She snapped her fingers and then looked down at me. “As for you child, fight to live.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 23

By the time we reached the cove of Ancestors, I could no longer walk on my own. My body was limp and it took all my effort just to breathe. Yula’vo manhandled my exopack onto my body to help filter air into my lungs. She was rough but I knew it was only out of compassion and fear. Laying in Nguyo’s arms brought me peace though, and not just because he was handsome, though it would be nice to go looking at a pretty face.

It was the beauty and serenity that had been brought by the night. Islands of ivy and moss-covered stone floated horizontally in the air, small butterfly-like creatures gathering in a beautiful flutter above us. I wanted to reach out to one, I wanted to hold the beautiful creatures in my hands. They looked like something straight from a fairytale with their glowing, iridescent eight wings. At the end of their bodies sat their rudder-like tail, making it look as if the creature swam through the air.

Reaching a hand into the air, Nguyo catches one of them and brings it down for me to see, their shimmering color reflecting off the surface of my mask. Watching the creature fly back off, I inhale deeply, my heart palpitating awkwardly. Behind the flutter sat a colossal crescent of stone, its insides worn down from years of wind and storm I guess. From where we stood you could see the giant outline of Polyphemus, the sun cusping the planet as the light of dawn melted into night. If this is what I would see before death, I think I would enjoy it while I could.

“It is time.” Tsahìk Ema’ti stepped into the waters, and Nguyo followed, his arms wrapped around my body as we sunk down into the icy depths of the ocean.

If I thought above the water was amazing then below the surface was dazzling. I’d heard of this place- no, I’d experienced this place before when I’d looked into Nayfyì’s mind. This was the Ranteng Utralti, the spirit tree. It was beyond words in terms of its size and beauty. The trunk of the tree glowed a vibrant blue shade while its branch fanned into thin purple fronds, each shimmering vibrantly as we got closer and closer.

Nguyo was gentle as he brought me to the center, his eyes glued to my face the whole time. His usual smile was replaced by worry but no doubt. Ema’ti went ahead of us and Wumut followed close behind, my avatar body in tow.

The center of the tree was not like I’d expected it to be. Jellyfish-like frills danced in the waters, surrounding a small bed of soft purple tendrils. With the last of my strength, I held onto Nguyo’s arm giving it a small squeeze. As much as I missed Ik’tanhì it felt nice to have Nguyo by my side. He believed in me, he trusted me and he made me feel happy as both Georgia the Na’vi and Georgia the human.

I see you. He signed, laying me down on the purple fronds. Giving me a soft smile, he looks into my eyes not afraid to hide the sadness that was ever present. I wish I had the strength to at least hug him but I didn’t. I didn’t even have the time to reassure him as the soft purple tendrils began to coil around my body.

My avatar body was laid beside me, her kuru, my kuru being connected to the tree. I feel the purple tendrils of the tree touching my neck, curving along to the back of my head. I didn’t have much time to see more as my mask was taken from my face, and the voice of the Tsahik faded to a dull ringing in my ear.

Tìng mikyun ayoheru rutxe, ma Nawma Sa'nok. Hear Us please, Great Mother.

It felt as if my body, no, my soul was gently being tugged from my body. I felt raw, exposed like I’d been an egg cracked open into a pan of nothingness. No space, nor time, just nothing. I couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t hear anything, I didn’t know what I was anymore.

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa. Eywa, help her. Sung the crowd, as floated in the water, their kuru’s linked to the great tree.

My body involuntarily inhaled, all the air rushing out of my lungs to be replaced by salty seawater. I knew it would have hurt if I could have felt it yet, I was motionless. Peacefully slipping away into the arms of death yet again.

Pori tireati, munge mì nga, Take this spirit into you.

That is what I thought at least as that same searing hot pain began to bubble to the surface. It was nothing like the first time I’d died, this time I knew it wasn’t my body but my very spirit. I didn’t want it, I wanted the pain to go away. It was excruciating to feel myself being bathed in this all-consuming light. Kicking and pushing away, I grasp onto the darkness letting its icy hold swallow me piece by piece. I could feel myself becoming undone, into nothing. N.

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa. Eywa, help her.

It would be easy to sleep like this. Allowing my body and mind to rest peacefully for eternity. How nice it would be to just sleep for once. I think it would be like slipping into an all too comfortable bed after a long tiring day. I could rest for eternity. I could see my family, my real family. I could see my father who died driving home on that icy road when he’d gotten the call that my mother finally conceived. I could see my mother, the mother I killed as she brought me into this world, the mother I lost, the father I never knew.

Ulte tìng ayoer nì'eyng hu ngeyä ya. And breathe her back to us.

I could wade away forever, floating into the eternal ocean of nothingness like a grain of sand on a long-forgotten beach. I could finally die with my father’s sins and be the last sin he brought upon these people. I could simply wash away, I could die. Ne…n.

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa. Eywa, help her.

Yet, I was not my father’s daughter. I was…I am my own person. I could make my own sins, I could carry my own burdens on my own shoulders. My father was excited to know that I was coming. My mother died to bring me here. My mother fought to raise me on her own. Even now, my mother loves me and she would never see me again. I would live for her, I would live for myself. For the hopes of one day seeing her smiling face again, even if she would be a little old human by the time I saw her again. I would live to love her, and so many others.

Tivìran po ayoekip, Let her walk among us

And just like that, the searing agony was back snuffing out the darkness of death. Every inch of my spirit was wrapped in warmth, each inch devouring me. I wanted to scream from the amount of pain I was in, I wanted to shed this pain like nothing else in my life. When I peered down I could swear I saw the last blue inch of my soul turning a vibrant yellow, similar to the amrita before being cast a brilliant white shade, hot and all-consuming. Neys.

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa. Eywa, help her. The chanting was louder now as if they felt the heat my soul began to radiate from every pore.

Was I even human anymore? What was my spirit becoming?

Na Na'viyä hapxì! As one of the people!

As I burned within the emptiness, the light of my body curled inward into my spirit, balling itself up as if it were nothing. I think I failed, I think I was dying. No, no. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I wanted to live, I needed to live. I didn’t even get a chance to live! In a violent burst of energy, the darkness was swallowed whole again, this time by the fiery white light. It didn’t just push off my body, it turned the inky black sea I was drowning in, into a sea of radiant light, of hope.

Srung si poeru, ma Eywa. Eywa, help her.

I pushed through the fiery ocean, the sea now calming as I approached the surface, my body blending with it seamlessly. I wasn’t drowning from the light nor was I being consumed, this was my spirit experiencing itself, this was me. The pain I’d felt left my body, replaced by a gentle tug. For a moment I felt like one of those goldfish you would get from a carnival. I could feel the metaphorical net lifting me upward into the hands of something. I felt as if all my worries and all my troubles were miniscule now in the hands of whatever held me. Ma Neys.

Eo Eywa oe 'ia. I lose myself before Eywa

Eo Eywa oe 'ia. I lose myself before Eywa

Eo Eywa oe 'ia. I lose myself before Eywa

I looked up at the dazzling being, moving to stand in their palm. I couldn’t see them nor could I hear them but I could feel them, feel her. I could feel the thousands of souls who came before me, and I could feel the thousands of souls who would come after me.

Lu hasey! It is finished!

”Mother?” Was all I could say before I was pulled away, my spirit now floating in a sea of indigo and violet.

I swam through the sea of endless memories. When I’d caught my first fish. When I first met the Na’vi. When I’d flown here to Pandora. When I’d gotten my first heartbreak. When I’d hit puberty. When I first learned how to ride a bike. My first steps, my first breath, and then, her. I could see her so clearly as I swam for her. I could see her soft brown eyes and long curly brown hair as she smiled at me for the first time, her finger so large in my own. It was her, it was my birth mother.

Beside her, I could see my other mother, Magnolia. She seemed just as happy to see my little face. I looked between the two of them before I swam further, my hand reaching out for Magnolia.

Yes, my mother used to be a drunk. She’d neglected me, she left me in the care of others when I just wanted her, and yes, she married an asshole of a man. Yet, she was like me at one time. Just a young woman with dreams of her own which she’d given up so she could be happy, so I could be happy. She was just a human and if I judged her based on the things my father drove her to do, I’d be no better than him. I wish I said it to her, I wish I told her I loved her more. I hope she knew it.

“Mother!” I cried out this time, pushing past layers of doubt and memories of pain. Everything seemed so small now as I grew closer to her. “I’m alive! I’m here!” I rushed forward, my hands breaking through the surface. In what felt like a second I’d gotten to speak with her, her voice filling my mind. I wanted to stay, I wanted to know more but when I exhaled the world around me snapped away. Ma Neyswa.

I sat up gasping, the world brighter than ever under the water. I looked down quickly, my hands touching my skin. I felt raw still, my spirit adjusting comfortably to my new body. It felt different from when I’d simply been borrowing my body with the link unit, it felt stronger. It worked though, I couldn’t believe it but it worked. I smiled in the water and I turned around to see my human body curled into the fetal position, eternally asleep. It seemed as if I’d been down here alone for a while because everyone around me was gone.

Reaching out to my frail human body, I hold her close and begin to swim down toward the bottom of the spirit tree. I didn’t know where I was headed but I knew where I was going, if that made any lick of sense. Under the spirit tree lay a bed of yellow tendrils, previous Na’vi resting there as well. Humming a sweet song for myself, I place a kiss on her forehead and gently release her, laying her to rest.

I love you, I’m sorry I never said it enough. I hope that in this body there is a child that will laugh like you and smile like you. I hope she has your brown eyes and your beautiful hair. I hope she sasses me just like I sassed my mother. I am sorry I didn’t treat you better when I had the chance. Thank you for being a vessel for my spirit, I will never forget your face. I prayed, swimming down toward my body for the last time. Brushing her hair from her face, I smiled now that the old Georgia could finally rest.

Swimming up toward the surface of the water, I gasped the moment I hit fresh air, my lungs feeling strong for the first time well, ever. Grasping onto a thick stone where everyone had gathered, I pull myself upward. Looking up at Yula’vo I see her looking at me in silence, her eyes wide with surprise. Actually, she wasn’t the only one. All the Na’vi around me were silent, their gazes on me.

I knew I went through a bit of a change but I didn’t expect everyone to just, stare. From what I could see I looked the same. No markings on my body.

Turning around, I look down into the moving waters, my own eyes widening at my reflection. A loc of my hair was white, like solid white. Even my eyes seemed bluer. Even parts of my eyelashes had the same white marking. I wonder if this was normal or if some part of my spirit managed to escape into my outward appearance. Reaching up to the loc of hair I grip it to see if it’s real and not some seaweed I got stuck in. Giving it a tug, I wince and release it. Yep, it was mine. Touching my face, I trail my hands down my body, giving myself a small examination. Na’vi didn’t really grow body hair on any part of their body so it felt weird to kinda be bald between my thighs.

“Nice!” I laughed as my tail flicked back and forth happily like I was some sort of happy puppy.

“Maybe we should get you ready to meet the Tsahìk before you give the whole clan a glimpse.” Yula’vo giggled and came over to help me onto my feet. “Also, you should allow me to help you dress.” Taking my hand, she begins to lead me away, Nguyo in tow behind us.

I now sat in front of the Tsahìk, her once judgmental gaze now one full of pride as she looked me over. In a sudden burst of energy, she would take my hand in her own, her fingers gliding along the surface of my skin.

“You are the third person I know who has gone through this ceremony. You’ve done quite well, but you have yet to have your ceremony of rebirth.” She grasps a basket behind her placing it into my lap.

“I used to have children you know? They all left me too soon. I believe that Eywa called them back to her for reasons I still am not sure of. Possibly to make me stronger.” She spoke softly, fishing a small pearl bead from the basket. She held the bead up to my hair, comparing the colors before holding it out for me to take.

Another bead for my songchord, another sign of my new life.

“I believe that she also brought you to me.” She said happily, “I will take you in as my child.” She fingered through the basket, pulling out a small pouch of beads, shells, and thin white string akin to silk. “I had a feeling things would play out this way the day I saw that sign from Eywa. She has a way of giving me the most stubborn and reckless children. Let’s hope I don’t lose you too.”

Handing over the items, she motions toward my naked body and I nod getting the message. Picking up a thin wooden crochet hook, I begin to weave myself some clothes. Yula’vo was rather dejected when she’d been forced back to her Marui by her mate, it was actually funny to see her rub her pregnant stomach while crying over wanting to dress me.

“I am happy to have you be my mother. I got to see my birth mother and another mother. A lot of mothers,” I said, carefully looping some indigo beads into the top I was making for myself. “I saw her through Eywa, I experienced her.”

Ema’ti looked at me, raising an eyebrow before chuckling.

“We all experience Eywa’s embrace, child.” She began to weave herself, her hands brushing across my head to measure the side. It appeared she’d been making a veil of some sort.

“I heard her, her spirit? She said I was reborn, she came to me in the form of my mothers, my human ones.” I said weaving small crystals on the bottom side of the breast area.

Ema’ti then paused, her attention now fully on me as her hands continued to weave.

“It was faint but she kept calling me Neyswa.” Sliding my kuru gently through my fingers, I watch the end open to reveal light pink tendrils. “It felt amazing. I never got to see the face of the woman who gave birth to me outside of…pictures. So seeing a memory of her was pleasant. It was nice to see the woman who raised me as a child too.” Placing my kuru down, I continue on my top and Ema’ti clicks her tongue at me.

“Are you trying to make me envious Neyswa? I am just happy to have a daughter now. I always thought Eywa meant to punish me by giving me two headstrong sons. Now she has given me a foolish daughter.” She chuckled to herself, looking the veil over.

We both continued in near silence. It was mainly me telling her how it felt to switch between bodies and everything I saw. Some things were a blur and some things were clearer. As for the clothes we’d finished working on, they were left with her. She told me I’d wear it once I went through my rebirth ceremony the next day. All I had to do now was rest. Everyone in the clan was tired from the ritual and that could easily be seen as I walked along the netted walkways alone. It was so silent that even the water beneath me looked nearly still. It was good though, no one needed to see me ass naked walking back to my Marui.

Making it to the Marui, I sigh and step inside only to feel the air around me shift. It was dark but something was off, something was here. Pausing in the entry, I narrow my eyes peering through the dark when I freeze, my new healthy heart dropping to my stomach.

There laid Ik’tanh'i on the ground, one of his arms propping up his head while the other lay comfortably over his chest. I didn’t know when he’d come but his chest and shoulders rose and sunk slowly, he was fast asleep.

His words from the last time we spoke still rang fresh in my mind. Not only had he told me to stay away but he hated me. The Na’vi told jokes but they didn’t lie, hell they didn’t even have a word for lying until we taught them it.

I wasn’t here to bother him or see him anyway. I had no reason to be nervous. All I needed to get was the clothes Yula’vo had left for me, hung across the Marui of course.

It was strange though. When I’d passed by the Marui earlier it seemed vacated still but now all his arrows and bows decorated the wall again. The only thing that seemed to be untouched was the corner where my old Na’vi clothes were crumpled in the corner. My body had not even been in the Marui, I’d been kept with the Tsahìk in my slumber, so it made sense he didn’t come to look for me.

He looked so peaceful though, I wondered if he’d already gotten over my death so easily.

Taking a step into the Marui, I slowly approach him, stopping when I am inches from his body. From the countless times we’d slept side by side I never saw him being a heavy sleeper yet now he seemed out cold. I wouldn’t be surprised, apparently guarding the sea wall was a lot of work. Reaching out to his face, I brush a few strands from his skin only to have him reach out and grasp my wrist. Watching him slowly open his eyes, he looks up at me through his slitted gaze.

“Another dream visit? Are you always this cruel?” He asked, yanking me closer to him. “I asked you to leave, I said I don’t want to see you.”

Surprised by his strength, I try to pull away only to have him grasp my waist with his other arm, pulling me flush against his body.

“You haunt me, Keork’a. Even now your spirit haunts me.” He groaned, rolling on top of me, his legs between my own as he lay on top of me. “Why are you haunting me? Every night I dream of your face and it’s always lifeless. Why are you like this now? Are you trying to give me some peace?”

His hand brushed down to where the wound on my stomach was beforehand.

I hated this, I hated every second of this. So he did think about me, and it was often enough to the point where I was a frequent resident in his dreams. Not only that but I was now pinned under him, his body’s weight sinking into my own.

“I’m like this because you’re not dreaming,” I said, wriggling under him. “I’m not here to haunt you either, I don’t want to cause you any trouble.”

As I spoke he seemed to blink the tired from his eyes. The tired expression on his face morphed into realization and confusion. Watching him reach out again, he held my face in his hands, turning me from side to side. I expected him to snap my neck, I expected him to declare his hate for me and to throw me out of the Marui flat on my ass. What I didn’t expect was for him to pin me down on the ground, his hands flat against my shoulders.

He looked me up and down, his eyes roaming over my body like a pair of warm hands. While he was just observing it felt extremely intimate.

“You’re alive?” He asked, taking his hand and brushing along my forehead and then under my breasts. “How are you alive?” His eyes welled with tears, the droplets falling down on my skin.

Being yanked up into a hug, he holds me close to his body, my skin warm against his own. I didn’t mention how quickly his heartbeat was in his chest. I only sat there, my body tensing up as he pulled me impossibly close.

“So, you don’t hate me?” I asked, slowly wrapping my arms around him. It felt oddly comforting, my body holding his own.

“Do not talk of hate. Let me hold you.” He said, picking me up in his arms.

Being led over to his hammock, he lays me down on my back before moving in beside me.

“It’s hard not to talk of hate. The last time we met you told me you never wanted to see me again and that you hated me.” I sat up, moving away from his advances. “Plus, you don’t even know how I came back. What if I wasn’t who you thought I was?”

Watching him come closer, he gently knocks his forehead to my own.

“Only you would come to me defenseless and bare. No one else is as foolish.” He teased me. his eyes were a mixture of relief and sadness.

Watching his hand carefully tap my forehead, he traces it down my face and neck and through the valley of my breasts before stopping on my stomach.

“How are you alive? The last time I held you, you were cold and lifeless. I could not sleep after seeing you like that. Please explain or I will think you are nothing but a spirit coming to appease me. It would not be the first time.” He said, his fingers tracing small circles on the low end of my stomach.

Feeling warmth bloom across my cheeks, I reach down and yank his hand away.

“It will be hard to explain if you are doing what you’re doing,” I said, looking from his face to his hand.

Beginning to explain my death and messy rebirth, I watch him look between the white strand of hair and my face every few seconds.

“I thought you just began to age beautifully.” He chuckled, beginning to yet again trace along my stomach. “So you are now ma Neyswa? Your body is stronger?” He asked, the back of his hand rubbing against my bare thigh.

“Yes, I am not sick anymore,” I said, pushing his hand away. “Doesn’t mean I’m giving it up to the first person to call me ma Neyswa. Plus, I am tired.” I said, turning on my side, away from him.

“I’m a patient man,” He huffed, moving my body back against his. “Just, let me hold you. I don’t want you to disappear while I sleep.”

His body practically cocooned my own, his grip on me more firm than gentle but I could understand his worry.

“Fine, but you must fish for me in the morning,” I said, my eyes closing.

“Anything for you.” He whispered, dozing off with me in his arms.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 24

The last time I’d dressed in white it had been the day I died and now I’d dressed in it for the day I’d be reborn, well, ushered into the clan as an adult. It was nice to feel giddy, like a child in a candy shop. My nerves were high, my stomach constantly fluttered in anticipation. Even my heart raced for once out of joy and not from a simple walk or jog. Even nature seemed to agree because the sky was as clear as can be. The only thing I had left to worry about was myself. It wasn’t my first time making Na’vi attire for myself but it was my first time making something this elaborate. This piece was beautiful, like something my mother back on Earth would make for me. I even dreamt of myself happily twirling for her to see.

Now, I was here, ready to present myself to my people. I’d say the only trouble was wondering how I’d style my hair. When I’d awoken I was in Ik’tanhì’s arms still, his hold on me tighter than normal. It took me prying his arms off to escape him which only woke him up. He’d offered to braid my hair for me but I kindly rejected him, reminding him that I was an adult and could do these things on my own. He only scoffed and sat up, helping me at least part my hair. Now, I had my hair in small locs, each one woven with pearls and stray loose hair.

He insisted on helping me dress as well but Ema’ti was quick to come to the Marui and send him off, referring to him as an animal in heat.

So instead, I dressed myself away from prying eyes. Radiant beams of light shined through the Marui making my outfit’s reflection dazzle in the morning light. Clear smooth sea glass beads and crystal made up the top of the outfit so it made sense. Blue-colored glass covered my breasts in six rows, those same glass beads wrapping around my neck and back to hold the top in place. Under my breasts hung clear crystals hung from white plant fiber, giving the illusion that they simply floated off my body, like a little waterfall. With so much free time I wove together a crystal flower to go along the breast portion of my top. The bottom was much more simple, just a thin strap of faux leather gathered from a tree I didn’t know the name of yet. All I knew was that it was light and made it easier for my tail to move. My songchord was my favorite addition though. It hung from the center, swaying under my breast, little beads added on for when I’d met many of my new pseudo-family. Ema’ti said all the bright crystals and shimmers made me look like a walking ray of sunshine and I felt like one.

“It’s now or never, Neyswa,” I said to myself, turning on my heels to exit the Marui.

From what I could see, my coming-of-age ceremony began just as I’d been told. Usually, this was an event for many Na’vi at once. The moment I stepped from the Marui, I walked side by side with guards, heading toward Ema’ti who also dressed in her own ceremonial garb. She looked beautiful like a true leader should look. It was actually quite funny to think that the last time something like this happened was when she’d held a blade up to my neck.

“Welcome ma Neyswa, I bring you to me. I experience the light, new life, a new daughter. Great joy within my heart. Great joy within my heart.” Ema’ti sang as I walked down the netting toward her, her hands holding a small woven basket. “We thank you for the nights of our life. We thank you for the days of our life. Oh Eywa, oh Eywa.”

Her voice was tranquil like the waters, similar to my mother’s actually. Approaching her body I stand waist-deep in the water, my eyes glued to her own.

“I see you, Tsahìk Ema’ti.” I signed as I spoke, my gaze never leaving hers.

“Neyswa,” She smiled, opening the basket for me. “You are my daughter and our tsakarem. A gift from Eywa.”

Gently setting the basket down on the surface of the water, it floats and she sticks her fingers into a small pot of white paint.

“Today, you are no longer a child but seen as an adult. As my tsakarem, do you vow to take care of your people, guide them to prosperity, and follow and cherish the word of Eywa?” Her fingers slid across my forehead, tracing small intricate shapes into my skin.

“I do, I promise with my life to protect and guide our people.”

Her finger mirrored the pattern on the other side of my forehead, the design tracing down the center of my nose until she stopped, tracing another pattern under my mouth.

I did not know what she began to sing once I accepted, but the other members of the clan joined, their voices a beautiful woven melody. By the time they’d finished singing, my exposed skin was now covered in white swirls, each swirl reminding me of the ocean.

Reaching into the basket, she produces a beautiful blade along with a beautiful sheath. The blade itself was made of a stunning aquamarine sea crystal while the hilt appeared to be wood and amber. Taking the blade into my grasp, I nod, slipping the sheath around my thigh under the water along with the blade.

“Use this blade to guide and to protect. Keep it by your side.”

Watching her reach into the basket for the last time, she produces a small armband, woven to look like the reef. Holding out my arm, she carefully binds it around my bicep, the small shells woven inside reminding me of the different segments of the ocean.

“And this is from the clan. To always hold us close, to remind you of who you protect and who protects you.” She leans forward, placing her handprint over my heart. “I see you Neyswa te Moftako Ema’ti’ite. May Eywa guide you.”

With that, the clan erupted into cheer and I happily joined in, turning to them all to let out my own happy cry. This is where the fun began, not only had the clan been preparing for the festival in the jungle but they’d eagerly been awaiting some cheerful news. The sky people were gone and they finally had a tsakarem. Our small village would finally begin to blossom and grow. Yet, this would have to wait because I was due to change out of my ceremonial garb into something more practical.

By the time everyone made their way to the ceremony, I stood in Ik’tanhì and I’s Marui, carefully removing the pearls from my hair. I’d already shed my ceremonial attire and placed it on my side of the room. I now stood in something more fitting of my status as the Tsakarem of our clan. Sliding my diadem onto my head, I made sure the hell above my brow was seated perfectly.

“Well, aren’t we just pretty.” A familiar voice practically sang from behind me.

Turning around, I feel warmth bubbling up into my cheeks.

“You’re here? You came?” I said, looking out toward Rina, Royce, and Hughs who were all in their avatar forms, each of them standing in front of the Marui. They all looked so different, so Na’vi. Even Royce seemed like he’d given in and tried his best to dress like the Tipani.

Running forward, I jump up onto Rina, my arms around her neck. Feeling her huff, she locks her arms under me with a chuckle.

“You called.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“How did you know how to come here? I missed you.” I said, beginning to babble, my eyes burning from the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks.

“Well, you can thank your boyfriend,” Royce teased making kissing signs with his hands, his Avatar sporting new tribal markings.

“Can you be mature for one moment?” Rina said, turning us both toward Royce. “Ik’tanhì asked us to come. It was hard to say no when he said we owed him our lives.” Rina cooed and spun us both.

“I am more surprised by your changed state. Everyone else who went through your change seemed to transfer just fine but you’ve changed.” Hughs said, his Avatar’s tail flailing happily behind him.

It was my first time seeing his Avatar this close, my first time not seeing his shaggy beard or long blond hair.

“You’re telling me?” I said, wriggling down Rina’s body. “It hurt like a b- like the dickens to transfer. I assume you all still have your human bodies lumbering around somewhere.” I chuckle and look between the three.

“Well, we are trying to adjust to being with the Tipani. Some of us are taking it easy while others are struggling.” Rina said, nudging me. “At least you look healthy and happy.”

“Well. I feel healthy and happy. When I first got here my body was on the verge of breaking down. I’m surprised I was strong enough to even make it here in one piece but now I feel better than ever.” Gliding through the group, I turn around walking backward on the netting. “Also, if we’re late for my own ceremony I may be thrown to the wolves.”

“Well, anything is better than being up in the rookeries. You should see it Georgia. It’s crazy up there.” Royce said, making a little bird motion with his hands.

“Trust me, I’ve ridden an ikran and I don’t know if it’s my thing yet. Oh and I have a new name, it’s Neyswa.”

“Well, that makes two of us. On the Ikran thing, not on the name bit. I haven’t gotten one to adjust to me yet but when I do I’ll fly down here anytime to see you.” Nudging me, he reaches down taking my white lock of hair in his fingers. “How has the ocean life been treating you? Did you miss us? Like, do you miss me doing this?” Royce leaned down, his arms cupping under my legs to hoist me off the ground.

“I suggest you put me down.” I laugh, tugging the small shaggy hairs he’d begun to sprout around his kuru. “My so-called boyfriend has a streak of kicking ass and I’m sure you’d be light work.” Pressing my finger to the tip of his nose, I sigh. “But yes, I missed you all, and I did miss you, Royce. Sometimes it’s small things that make me think of you all, like when I slip up my Na’vi and speak English. I actually haven’t spoken English until now.”

Wriggling from his grasp, I stand firmly on the ground and look behind me to see Rina and Hughs looking me up and down. Even in their Na’vi bodies, they found time to observe me. Forever the scientists.

“You said you’ve been trying to get an Ikran of your own, huh? That means I outrank you as an adult.” I laugh, reaching down to hold my songchord. The small green bead representing Royce rolls between my fingers.

“As an adult, yes. From the looks of it too as a tsakarem, sea princess.” He laughed and bowed. “One day though, just give me a day and you’ll be calling me the king of the sky.”

“I’ll give you a week if you like.” Shrugging, I feel a familiar strange chill brush down my spine.

Stopping in place, I feel Rina collide with me, nearly causing me to topple over.

“Pandora to Neyswa, are you okay?” Rina said, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“Yeah, sorry. I get these chills sometimes. Kinda like when you’re home alone but you feel off?” I said, rubbing my hands across my arms.

“I’m sure it is just the nerves. Maybe some of the Na’vi spirits will help you loosen up.” Rina said, her hand patting my lower spine. “You would be shocked to hear how much I need a drink,” Brushing past us all, she heads toward the sound of music.

“What’s up with her?” I said looking at Royce.

“Her Na’vi boyfriend won’t take a hint. Watching those two flirt is like watching- well two nerds flirt.” Royce chuckles, looking down at me. “Don’t let chills crush your mood though.”

“I have to agree with Royce,” Hughs said, coming toward me, his hand hovering over the white loc. “Your spirit just may be adjusting to your body. Everything will be fine.” He reassured me, his hand landing on top of my head to give it a few small pats.

They were right. It was most likely my nerves causing me to lose it.

“I guess, we should keep going then.” I smiled and finally felt the strange cool feeling drop, my body relaxing.

I had a ceremony to attend and I wouldn’t let anything ruin that.

It felt so strange yet so natural to fall in love with my new culture like my life finally snapped and slid into place. I’d been here before, this was the place where Ik'tanhì had brought me when I had my human body, however, it looked even more beautiful today. I’d thought things were bright and grand in my human body but in my Na’vi body, it was another layer of enchanting. Like something out of a fairytale. Looking among the small pools of celebrating Na’vi, I yelp when I feel myself being lifted off the ground and twirled. Thank goodness I’d not eaten anything yet.

“Neyswa! You’re here.” Nguyo beamed from ear to ear, his warm smile as beautiful as ever as he twirled me around. He’d said my name like a lover returning home from war even though we’d been together not that long ago.

“Are you trying to break her in half? Place her down now.” Scolded Yula’vo, her hand reaching out to pinch the tip of his ear.

“Only if she wishes to be broken.” He whispered the last part for my ears alone, causing me to pinch his other ear.

Being set down, I look both the siblings up and down. If they were this beautiful now, I feared what would happen if they had been the center of attention tonight. They both wore necklaces of tropical bird feathers and their hair had been woven with jungle flowers.

“If you break Neyswa, she will not be able to perform her song for the clan. I think the Tsahìk would pinch your ear off.” Yula’vo stroked her drooping baby bump, the child was practically ready to come any day now.

“It is nothing special, just a small song I’d prepared for Mother. She wished to hear me sing today.” I shuffled from foot to foot nervously, my fingers tugging on the end of my skirt.

“No matter how small or grand the song is, It will be lovely if it comes from you,” Nguyo said genuinely, taking a step toward me.

“Well.” Damn, I hated being a sucker for a pretty face and kind eyes. “It would be cruel of me to make you wait for a silly song, wouldn’t it? It’s a song from my old planet so it may not sound as nice to you but I can try something.” Taking a step back from Nguyo, he follows like an excited pup.

Walking around the beautiful water pools, I clear my throat and stop when I am between a few smaller caves. Standing on a large flat stone I let out a sharp whistle, hearing it echo off the inner chambers behind the small waterfalls. The sharp sound grabbed more attention than expected. Watching Nguyo and Yula’vo come forward, they grin and stand side by side, Yula’vo’s mate Weyvawla coming to stand beside his mate.

“No, if I see either of you laughing at me I will run off into the jungle and never come back.” Smiling, I watch Ema’ti come forward, her dress shimmering off the reflective waters.

“Are you about to sing, Neyswa?” She asked, her gaze flitting around. “Who knows, maybe we will find a future Olo’eyktan tonight.”

“Mother!” I playfully hiss only to have her wave me off.

“Sing sing child, you have our attention.” She laughs, taking a seat in the water, her legs crossing.

Watching a few members of the clan mimic her, I gulp and inhale deeply. The Na’vi who were around my age seemed to sit a little closer, their bodies huddling together, leaving me no room to run in case my nerves got the best of me. Even Royce and Rina were all buddy buddies together, Rina’s mouth nursing more spirits as Royce tried to hold her up.

Clearing my throat, I clap my hands together.

“Forgive me first for singing sky people songs only. I wish to learn more songs about our people but I hope this will be enough to impress you all. You may not understand some words so I shall do my best.” I said happily, my voice echoing off the large stone surrounding the jungle pool.

Feeling a shiver down my spine again, I glance around but all I see is everyone’s eyes on my own. Inhaling again to calm my nerves, I look out into the crowd hoping to find someone to anchor my gaze on without looking as if I were serenading someone. Finding Rina, I grin and begin.

I’d heard the song at least one hundred times, hell I’d performed it to get into college when I was younger. It was an older song but I always found it to be quite beautiful.

“Do you live in New York City, or a couple towns away?” As I began, I heard the small whispers falling silent, my voice carrying through the silence. “Wherever you are, I’d jump in my car, just to see you today.”

My eyes flickered away from Rina who smiled happily, her head resting on Royce’s shoulder. Letting my gaze drift toward the other members of the clan, I try to keep myself calm and steady.

“Will I meet you at a party? Sit next to you on a plane? Maybe I know you and love you, but will fall in love someday.” My gaze went to Nguyo who sat in front of me, his gaze locked on mine as if he were in some sort of trance.

“Dear soulmate, do you think of me? Cause I do. Do you have green eyes, or are they brown like mine? Do you have a sister too? One day I’ll give this song to you.”

Even though I sang rather softly, I could see that the echo from my voice caused the wood sprites to begin to gather around us, fluttering around the ceremony-goers.

“We will drive up to the mountains? Camp in a little tent? When the bears come at night, will you put up a fight? Or will you hide with me in my flashlight? Do you sleep on the right side? Cause I prefer the left. Will you make me butter toast? Perhaps a morning roast, when I wake up and I’m sad.”

My gaze trickled upward toward Ik’tanhì who now filtered into the circle, standing at the back his eyes looking straight through mine. I felt my nerves rising when he stared at me, his eyes on my lips for a moment. He’d also dressed up for the occasion, his hair not in its usual braids but flowing down his back to match with the clan. In his hair he seemed to have his usual golden clips, however, this time indigo feathers hung down. He’d even worn attire more befitting the clan.

“Dear soulmate, do you think of me? Cause I do. Do you have blue eyes or are they brown like mine? Do you have a sister too? Dear soulmate, one day I’ll give this song to you. Dear soulmate, I can’t wait to fall in love with you.” I pulled my gaze from him as I finished, a bright smile on my face as the clan say there in silence, quiet enough to let a pin drop.

I looked to Ema’ti who also sat in silence, her lips slightly parted as if she waited to say something.

“I am unsure what a plane or a car is but I could tell you that your song was beautiful, Neyswa,” Yula’vo said happily, her hands reaching out for my own.

“Quite beautiful,” said Nguyo, as he looked at me, his kind eyes glued to my face. “Another, please?” He asked, standing in front of me, his hands reaching out to take my own.

Ik’tanhì was already halfway through the crowd when I broke free from his gaze, looking up at Nguyo.

“I guess, I could do one more? It might not be as impressive.” I chuckled, squeezing his fingers softly only to have Ema’ti approach me.

“Neyswa,” she said, her hand taking my own to pull me away from the pack of young Na’vi closing in on me.

By the time we were far enough from prying ears, she stood with me, her face twisted in slight annoyance.

“I knew you were a singer but I did not know you could sing so well. That was lovely.” She said, brushing a few locs behind my ear.

“Singing was one of my passions back on Earth. I also adore painting but I thought my skills might be useless so I never thought to share them until I spoke to Yula’vo.” Reaching out to a wood sprite, it lands on my fingertips before floating off into the ceremony toward the young Na’vi.

“Well you are the Tsakarem so I would expect nothing less.” She brought me along to a little cove in the Rockwall, hiding us both under a small waterfall. “I also expect you to find your heart, Neyswa. Eywa will guide you but you are an adult, you have to walk on your own.” She whispered, her hand squeezing mine.

I knew what she meant clearly from the fact that her eyes were scanning over the men of the clan as if asking me who I was to choose as my mate.

“How did you know who Eywa would guide you to?” I asked, looking toward a small Na’vi child who gently shook a small wooden pod filled with dry seeds, a little noise maker.

Scoffing, Ema’ti waves a hand over herself in disbelief. It was clear that we both had one thing in common.

“It was not easy, considering how beautiful I am. Yet at the same time, it was as clear as the ocean shore. The man who would have been your father, ma Tasma te Muwura Pìtsno'itan.” She fingered down her songchord, finding a thick glossy red bead, the amber varnish worn with time.

I wondered how she would have looked when she first added this bead on if she was even more beautiful than she was now.

“We were both young and he was the best hunter in the clan. He saved my foolish younger brother from an attack by a rogue tulkun. I found myself smitten rather quickly. We were fast to mate and he became our Olo’eyktan.” She slid her fingers down to a beautiful blue shell, before stopping on a single white bead, this one with a single dot on the front. “We lost him to a sickness just after I had our second son, your brother.” She continued down the bead, sighing as she went lower and lower. “Eywa has her reasons for everything Neyswa, even when they are difficult to comprehend we must listen.” Even though her eyes held sadness, she seemed at peace as she spoke.

Reaching down to my own songchord, I see the bead that represents my adoption into her family. Turning toward her, I pull her into a gentle hug, my hand gently stroking her back. I didn’t know when she truly held someone like this but it felt nice, nice to be loved, and nice to love someone without worrying that they might leave someday.

“I will always listen, I promise,” I said in a hushed whisper.

“Now please, try not to do anything strange and sky people like. You are my daughter so I expect only the best and do not mate someone strange, we need a proper Olo’eyktan.” She smiled, standing up to walk over to the small child from earlier. Placing the child on her hip, she walks off and takes him back to his mother, leaving me by myself to contemplate her words.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 25

The ceremony continued on as usual and I found myself meeting new members of the clan that I’d had yet to properly greet. I was surprised to find out our clan mostly consisted of younger men and women. It was not that the clan was newly established but because so many had died trying to protect themselves against the RDA. Others left to try and find safety among the other oceanic clans. I couldn’t hold it against them. The RDA was a force to be reckoned with and they never fought fair. Those who did stay were too young to go or too attached to part ways.

I’d taken a breather from meeting people to sit with Wumut and her mate, my feet somewhat tired from having stood all over the place. I thought parties on Earth were something but the Na’vi were different. They partied like today would be their last, consuming spirits and dancing around. I was just happy to be holding Wumut’s baby now, my fingers toying with their soft black hair. According to Wumut, he’d been born just months ago, leaving her tired from the lack of sleep she’d been getting. She was barely able to hunt because of how clingy little ‘eki was.

“’Eki, sweet little ‘Eki.” I hummed to the baby, my finger slipping into his little four-fingered hand. Giving him a small kiss on his forehead I grin. “He is so beautiful, may I keep him as my own?” I joked, beginning to rock him in one arm.

I’d not gotten to be around many children in my last life aside from one child my first nanny had. I could faintly remember the girl now, only that she had dark curly black hair and beautiful dark skin like mine. I wished I got to see her longer but my mother didn’t want me around other children.

“You say this now but when you are blessed with your own, you will tire often. ‘eki whines from time to time as well. I hope he does not whine when is older.” She cooed, her hand cupping his little head.

“I think I would be pleased to have any child if they are as strong as you are Wumut.” I chuckled, carefully handing ‘eki back over. Signing a quick goodbye, I walk toward the edge of the ceremony heading off into the jungle.

It felt nice to conversate for a while, to meet new people, and to get to blend within the clan a little. Even though I’d had to dance with and sing to every possible suitor Ema’ti sent my way. Hunters, warriors, seamstresses. In my last life, I had three options and now I have too many. The talks were smooth though, those who were shy to ask me how I felt instead opted to ask me how I’d felt to be me. Some people told me of their worries, thoughts, and ambitions while a few brave souls asked to touch me, to see if my skin felt any different from their own.

In my past life, I would have lost it already but now it felt nice to know that people wanted to approach me for me. Even if they were just trying to see the newest cookie in the mating cookie jar. The only two who hadn’t approached me were Nguyo and Ik’tanhì.

Nguyo seemed to be guarding his sister from unwanted attention. Just because a Na’vi was mated didn’t mean they were exactly off limits. Being active outside of mating wasn’t frowned upon, especially if it meant the possibility of having more offspring for our low-numbered clan. As for Ik’tanhì, he’d been entertaining an array of soft eyes and happy smiles. It seemed all it took for him to get more attention was a slight change in appearance and the birds came flocking. It wasn’t nearly the same amount of eyes that watched Nguyo but both were enough to make me…no. I’m literally not even going to let my mind think of that word.

Deciding to clear my thoughts, I go a little further, stopping at the edge of a small lagoon. It looked as if it had been a piece of land cut off from the ceremony and placed here. Slipping into the chest-deep waters, I sigh and allow my body to simply float along the surface, my eyes tracing over the stars above. Closing my eyes, I try to wipe my memory clean of the negative feeling bubbling in my chest.

“You should not be alone, Neyswa.” Said a new voice, this one a tad more husky compared to the other Na’vi. Someone unfamiliar had been following me, no doubt one of the guards who’d been sipping liquid courage all night.

“I am not alone, you are here, yes?” I chuckled, my fingers skidding along the surface of the water.

The low, hoarse voice laughed.

“I suppose,” He, I deduced he was a he, paused. “Are you enjoying yourself amongst the Katotxampay?”

I felt the water shift around me, slight ripples from their body displacing the water. I wouldn’t be surprised if they needed a break too.

“Of course I am. Being here is like breathing, it feels so natural. It makes me happy.” I felt the guard move closer, and I felt myself tense up a little. Something in the pit of my stomach told me to sit up, to open my eyes.

The Na’vi could be trusted though, and if this person wanted to hurt me they would have done so already, so why did I feel this way?

“The ocean is beautiful, is it not? I much prefer other sights though.” The person was close now, their breath fanning across my face.

“You would have loved to see where I used to live, mountains high enough to peer through the clouds, but it was colder than colder. I prefer the warmth.” I said, now a tad more quiet due to their proximity.

“I think I prefer the cold.” The voice said, their hand touching my cheek.

“Neyswa!” I heard Nguyo call out, and I felt the water suddenly shift again as if the other body were in and out at a moment’s notice.

“I believe I’ve overstayed my welcome, Neyswa,” They delicately said my name as if it were freshly spun silk. “I hope we can meet again, maybe you will have the courage to open your eyes.” He chuckled, his voice fading into nothingness.

Slowly sitting up in the water, I gather some into my hands and wash my face clean before opening my eyes to see the stranger was gone. Not even a watery trail was left behind.

“Neyswa! I’ve been looking for you. You should be with a guard at all times.” Nguyo came in front of me, his chest heaving as if he’d just been springing around to look for me.

“I was with a guard, I didn’t get his name but I was not alone. Are you worried something might happen to me?” I tease wading over toward him. Pulling myself from the water, I stand before him arms crossed.

“Of course I worry, what if someone else got to you first?” He asked, reaching down to scoop under my bottom, carrying me away from the ceremony. “What if you wandered too far and spoiled your surprise? Do you know how long I had to watch other males approach you?” He huffed before taking off in a light jog deeper into the jungle.

“I assume too long because you’re going too fast.” I giggled, my head narrowly dodging all sorts of palms and flowers.

“I can go faster or slower if you please, anything as long as you’re in my arms.” He said, his eyes flickering to mine for a second.

“Oh?” I said, rather surprised by Nguyo’s confidence. “What else can you do? Mighty Nguyo?” I said, pushing his beautiful black curls behind his ear.

Something in his eyes shifted for a moment before he slowed down, bringing me to another lagoon, this one smaller than the last but equally connected to the larger lagoon.

“You know Neyswa, when I am at the sea wall teaching hunters I often have to show them how to do many things. How to throw a spear, how to push aside heavy stones, and even how to be delicate with the smaller fish. I am a better teacher when I can work hands-on.” He said, placing me down beside a small basket, this one woven of sea grass with many little shells.

Taking a seat in front of the basket, I cross my legs and he mimics the action, sitting in front of me.

“Open it, please.” He said, raising the basket out toward me.

Taking it from his hands, I carefully remove the top to see the inside is filled with shells. Each shell filled to the brim was a different dry colorful paste. Beneath the shells sat a small brush of some sort, a wooden handle with thin tightly woven planet sinew at the end.

“Is this paint?” I said, happily lifting the shells up one by one to inspect them.

“You said you enjoyed painting as well as singing. It took me a while but I gathered flowers and turned them into paints. They are not perfect as this is my first time but they will be in the future. If you will allow me to give you more that is.” He spoke softly, reaching into the basket to pull out the paintbrush. “You said you liked my tattoos so I was wondering if you would like me to paint you some, may I?”

He raised a small shell of paint paste from the basket, gently placing a small bead of water onto the brush he’d been holding.

“Of course, I would love to see what you can do.” I scooched a bit closer, holding out my arm for him.

Watching him chuckle, he shakes his head and moves my arm down.

“You are no hunter of the sea wall, Neyswa. You guard our people, your tattoos would be on your chest and torso.” Moving the basket from in between us, he reaches out and pulls me onto his lap, our bodies chest to chest.

“Wouldn’t it be hard to paint my chest and torso if we were so close?” I asked, and he playfully hissed, baring his sharp fangs.

“Patience, yawnetu.” His hand goes down to my stomach, slowly sliding upward while he simultaneously pushes me backward until my hands anchor behind me onto the ground.

I felt like an easel. and canvas all in one, my body exposed for him to work on.

“I need you to be still.” He said, his large hand settling on my waist as he leaned in.

It felt so sensual to have him this close to me, my legs open to him as he held me close. If he wanted to he could lick the valley between my breasts from how close his mouth was to me, part of me wanted him to. I could see him eyeing my chest in between gentle strokes.

Before I could offer to take my top off, Nguyo reached around, undoing the knot that held my top up. Which fingers were strangely nimble for how large they were. Gently removing my top, my breasts slip from the shirt, leaving me exposed to his gaze and the elements. The jungle air was cool against my skin, causing my nipples to stiffen. What if someone came and saw us, what if I didn’t care?

“You’re so beautiful, Neyswa. Tell me you’re beautiful.” He began, gently tracing patterns down the valley between my breasts.

I didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose or not but his fingers dug into my sides, sending shivers down my spine. That familiar sense of arousal arose between my thighs as he pushed himself forward more to paint in smaller details.

“I’m beautiful?” I asked more than said, and he squeezed my side again, pulling me closer, the space between us minuscule.

“I said, tell me.” For the first time, Nguyo’s gentle personality shifted out of place and I paused for a moment, unsure if I should pull away or give in deeper.

“I’m beautiful,” I said, finding the idea rather silly. “You are far more beautiful though.”

“Can the sunflower be more beautiful than the sun?” He asked, beginning to paint across my breast, the brush purposefully curling around my nipple to make some sort of hook symbol.

Watching him go lower, he hovers near my navel, making three lines. One solid one under my navel, one wavy above that line, and a final dotted line at the top.

“What do the symbols mean?” I asked as he slid the brush under my breast, his hand steady.

Looking up into my eyes, he pauses and places a finger against my neck, slowly dragging it down to the first symbol between my breasts.

“This is the symbol for beauty, it’s higher on your body to show your beauty is in your spirit.” Gliding a thumb to the side, he stops when his thumb is on top of my nipple. Watching him roll it under his thumb, I inhale sharply, my hand reflexively shooting up to grasp his shoulder.

“This one on your breast is for fertility.” Grasping my nipple, he gives it a slight tug.

Sitting up on his lap, I reach out and grasp his face in my hands. He was going down a dangerous road and I didn’t know if he could manage it. Gingerly brushing my mouth across his, I pull away with a happy giggle.

“And what about these?” Sliding my fingers between our bodies, I whisper and stop beside my navel pointing out the three lines.

“The first line is that I am sure of, the other two are goals.” He whispered, closing the gap between our lips.

Our bodies were like two magnets. We were pressed together, the heat radiating off Nguyo sending every cold chill from my body. I could taste our shared breath, I could feel his heart pounding in unison with mine as he pushed for more. His hand dropped the paintbrush to hold me closer. I wanted more, I wanted him completely at this moment. I wanted to rip his loincloth off and show him what a girl from Earth could teach him.

Gently nibbling on his bottom lip, I give it a small lick when he flinches for a moment, seemingly surprised by the action. I guess Na’vi wasn’t all that familiar with the concept of a French kiss, which would make sense. Pressing my tongue against the seam of his lips, I try to coax them open when he stops, pulling away from me.

“Are you hungry, Neyswa?” He asked, his chest heaving as he held me close. “I can feed you if you please.” He asked, a hint of concern in his words.

“No no, it’s just a way we on my old planet. Please, trust me.” I wondered if he worried that sky people’s customs involved eating their partners. The thought made me giggle while I leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss once more.

Prodding at his mouth once more, he parted his lips and finally allowed my tongue to slip inside. His mouth was soft and tasted of the spartan fruit juice from the ceremony. His tongue held that same sweetness as I delicately licked across the surface. I could feel Nguyo groaning into my mouth, his body eclipsing mine as he laid me against the ground, his hands now cradling the back of my head. My gentle licks were met by his aggressive ones as if he couldn’t get enough of the passionate kiss.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach dancing while something brewed between my legs. A throbbing that only could be described as a primal urge built within me.

Spreading my legs, Nguyo naturally comes between them, placing his weight against me. The obvious hard-on under his loincloth prodded my aching womanhood. All subtly went out the door the moment I felt him push against me, grinding himself against me. I didn’t need to wonder if he was as excited as I was, I could tell from the way he held me.

“Be mine, Neyswa. Tell me you are mine.” He sat up between my legs, his hands hooking under my knees. In a seamless movement, he pushed my knees up to my chest, folding my body under his as if it were light work.

Sometimes I underestimated just how strong Nguyo was, like my brain linked his overall sweetness to meekness.

“I am Neyswa’s Neyswa,” I said through heavy breath, attempting to lower my legs back down, only to have his hands pin them back into place.

“And what can I do to make you mine?” He pushed my legs apart, my ankles damn there resting beside my head.

In a swift movement, he moved my loincloth to the side, leaving me bare as can be. I felt so nervous exposed to him, my legs pinned down as he looked down at my privates. I wondered if he could see me blushing in the darkening daylight.

“What is this?” He asked, his thumb reaching out to push into my already too-sensitive clit.

Whimpering from the stroke of his finger, I look away, feeling rather ashamed by the noise.

I didn’t think I was reacting this way from being touch-starved either. Nguyo genuinely aroused me, everything about him did. How he held me, how he always made sure I was cared for. Even the way he treated me in both of my bodies. Even if the bar was low he far surpassed it just by being himself. And now he was tipping me toward insanity.

“It’s something sky people have, it’s sensitive and used for pleasure but please be careful,” I said, reaching down to stop him only to have him lean forward, his tongue meeting my clit in small sweet strokes.

“Pleasure? I understand.” He cooed, licking again.

Raising my hips off the ground, I let out a loud cry, my hands reaching for anything I could grasp. Reaching up, I try to push his head away, only to have him grasp my hand in his own. I could only squirm beneath him as his thick hot tongue licked down between my lips, his mouth stopping short of my slit.

“Use your words, Neyswa.” He said, as his flat nose nudged at my clit, his tongue tracing teasing circles around my slit.

“Nguyo, please,” I begged, my legs trembling as he teased me.

It had been so long since I felt this way, to the point where I already felt myself riding along the edge, the smallest lick threatening to push me over the edge time and time again.

His tongue sent waves of pleasure coursing through my body, each lick of his tongue delving into the depths of my desires. He lapped happily at my tight warm cunt, causing me to bite down on my own knuckles to stop myself from screaming. It was obvious he was somewhat inexperienced but his slow sweet licks made up for it, tenfold. His tongue pushed in further, his canines rubbing against me causing my heart to pound. If his mouth felt this amazing I wonder how it would have felt to ride him.

“Will you be mine?” He asked again, placing sweet kisses on my already dripping cunt. His lidded eyes locked on mine, his blue-eyed gaze intense yet sensual.

I wanted to answer, I truly did but he took my clit into his mouth, his tongue pressing flat against it. I wondered if he’d made anyone else feel this way. I wondered if I could make him feel the same.

“Fuck, oh my god, Nguyo!” I moaned in English, the hot coil in my lower stomach unleashing as my legs began to tremble, the long-lost feeling of an orgasm racking my body. What drove it further was that Nguyo continued to lick, greedily lapping up every drop as if it were his last.

“Nguyo!” I cried, prying his mouth from my body. If he licked anymore I feared I would have left his jungle glue to his body.

“But I would like more.” He playfully teased, licking his lips clean. “I like your strange beautiful clit. When I touched it you squeezed down on my tongue.” He nearly purred, helping me sit up.

His eyes which usually only held kindness now seemed hungrier, like our little hook-up had unlocked something inside of him. Pressing a kiss to Nguyo’s lips once more, I lick the taste of myself from his mouth. I didn’t know if it would be proper to ask but I wanted him now and I didn’t know how to ask.

“Ahh, Nguyo and Neyswa. Do you know what my favorite part of the coming of age ceremony is?” A familiar voice sang from behind us, a hint of anger in his tone. coming-of-age

Grabbing my clothes, I scoot behind Nguyo, crouched to try and hide my exposed body. His tail happily swayed from side to side though.

“The spirits?” Nguyo said sarcastically.

“When they end and you can not find the ceremony girl you scour the jungle to find her and her and the fish boy covered in paint.” Ik’tanhì smiled, coming over to squat beside Nguyo and me.

“Neyswa, your mother is looking for you and Nguyo, we have more hunting to do in the morning. It would be best if you saw yourself to your Marui unless you need my assistance.” Ik’tanhì grinned his sharp canines like daggers in the moonlight.

Ik’tanhì watched me dress in silence. Nguyo narrowed his eyes, his fangs bared in his own toothy smile.

“I will have to wash my body free of paint someplace else, Neyswa. It seems my father’s spirit has come back in Ik’tanhì to scold me.” Nguyo said, standing up from the ground. “Sleep well, ma Neyswa.” He cooed licking his lips before heading off back toward the clan.

Picking up my basket of paints, I yelp when Ik’tanhì tosses me over his shoulder, his tail lashing against the ground. There he was carrying me like the world’s most precious sack of potatoes again.

“Why did my mother call for me?” I said, as his tail brushed against my face. “Was it rude to leave my own ceremony?” I asked a slight bit of sass in my tone from being left hanging due to Ik’tanhì’s cock blocking.

“I said that? Oh, I lied.” He scoffed, continuing through the jungle until we approached a small waterfall.

“You, wait. You told me Na’vi can’t lie so- you could pull me away from something important for no reason?”

He brings me to a large pool of water, gently placing me down on the edge. Easing me into the water he silently begins to scrub the paint from my body, as if he were erasing chalk from a chalkboard. The sound of the beads in his hair filled the silence as he continued to scrub me clean, quickly removing any trace of Nguyo from my skin.

“I said we do not have a word for life. Humans taught me how to do that.” He said, looking into my eyes. “As for importance, I do not think laying with Nguyo will bring you any good. You are like fire and he is like water.”

He huffed opting for silence again, being careful to wash my breast.

“And who are you to decide who is right for me? I wasn’t looking to mate with Nguyo, I was just looking for company for the night. Do you want to know the last time I had company at night?” I said, splashing him with water, and watching it soak his braids.

“No, I don’t want to know.” He grumbled.

“I don’t understand why you care anyway. I saw you and Peumi getting comfortable, why can’t I do the same.” Trying to push him over, he grasps my wrists and smiles.

I’d not noticed until now but a small cluster of indigo fish circles around us as if they were enjoying the show.

“You noticed?” He smiled, rinsing the last of the paint from my body. “Shouldn’t you have been paying attention to things of importance?” He turned my words around, his finger flicking my nose.

“I only noticed because half the party approached you. You would have thought you were an alter to Eywa the way everyone was dropping to their knees.” I said in English.

Why the hell did I care what he did with his night? Why did I care when I literally had Nguyo who made me just as happy?

“Peumi and I did not have…companionship.” He said the word in English. “I rejected her offer.” He reached behind me, rubbing away at the small bit of paint that lingered around the base of my tail, something I’d not noticed till now.

“Why not? What’s not to want?” I said, crossing my arms. I wish I could shut up. “Peumi is kind, beautiful and apparently she is the best swimmer.” It took everything not to sneer. Instead, I tried to calm my tail which lashed against the water.

My stomach flipped at the thought of his answer, what if it was something I wasn’t ready to hear?

“Because,” He said, reaching behind me to stop my tail from splashing up more water. “The one I want is too much of a baby to understand what she wants. She does things without concern for her own wants and needs. She is stubborn like a sturmbeast and wild like an ikran. She can not hunt that well but she is the one I want.” His fingers looped in my tail as he spoke. “I want to see her face in this life and in the next rather we are thanator, tulkun, or canopy trees placed side by side so silly little Na’vi can talk under our shade. She needs time though and I will wait. I am a patient man, a jealous patient man.” I could feel his heart hammering in his chest as he spoke.

I’d not picked it up till now but my own heart thrummed madly in my chest. More intense than anything I’d ever felt. It was as if his nerves leaked through his body and into mine. Resting my head to his chest, I groan and relax. In his arms, I felt at peace and calm.

“Plus, when she is with her lover she is thinking of me.” He teases, his hand slipping up and down my spine, as he hums the song I’d sang not too long ago. “Green and blue eyes, I think orange suits you better.”

“You know, we have a human word for men like you?” Wrapping my arms around his lower back, I lean forward and whisper. “We call them cocky.”

Getting raised from the water, he presses a simple kiss to my forehead and then one to match my mouth.

“Good thing I am not human.”

By the time I’d arrived back to the ceremony, I was drenched along with Ik’tanhì who had a happy smile on his face. It took a lot of explaining to Ema’ti that he was merely helping me clean myself before she backed off.

The walk back to the Marui was the hardest part of the night, ever since Ik'tanhì had practically confessed he’d been glued to my side. Whenever another unmated male approached us, he’d bring me in close and press a kiss to my cheek, like a puppy marking his territory. He was lucky I found it endearing and not annoying. The only man to not care was Nguyo who placed a kiss on my other cheek.

By the time we’d made it back to the Marui, he went out to the ocean, saying he’d catch dinner tonight. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t hungry, that the butterflies in my stomach drove away any hunger.

Plus my mind was torn between so many thoughts, so many plans and so much time. What should I do, what would happen if I did nothing? What if I chose to mate Nguyo or Ik'tanhì but Eywa chose otherwise? My stomach flipped at the thought of it all. Hopefully, the next day would bring some peace of mind.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 26

My training as the tsakarem was easier said than done. If I wasn’t learning how to take care of the people, I was in charge of making sure the clan ran smoothly. It would have been less of a workload if we had an Olo’eyktan but Ema’ti refused to find another, she said that would fall on my shoulders. My presence made things easier on her though.

Nguyo and Ik’tanhì weren’t too pleased with my training. They both grumbled whenever they would leave because of the proximity I’d have to the other unmated men and women of the clan.

Now though, I was simply alone gliding along the ocean’s surface, my eyes closed. I could feel it, I could feel something akin to a pulse under my body. It was as if I felt Eywa, her pulse rippling through the earth and into the water beneath me. I could feel the fish gliding through the water, I could feel the sea floor even though it lay so far beneath me. Even the spirit tree gave off that loving hum which was now like a collective song whenever I was near, like my mother beckoning me forward with sweet melodies.

“It is now or never,” I said, allowing my body to sink into the crystal clear waters. Opening my eyes, I swim toward the spirit tree, my body carried on a small current that drifted toward the beautiful tree.

Ema’ti said I was to come here alone for now, that it would do me some good to clear my mind. I think she just didn’t want me getting too close to Fish Boy and Monkey Boy, as the men called one another. Lucky for me, I now had my own spear, which I’d crafted myself. It was beautiful, long, and covered in shells.

Wading closer to the tree, I link my kuru to one of the large purple tendrils, finally able to breathe under the water.

Being here felt nice. I’d been here of course when I was in my dying human body but now I felt different, I felt at peace with my death. Being here was also comforting, like resting my head upon my mother’s chest to hear her heartbeat.

“Please, hear me, All-mother,” The tree itself breathed air into my lungs, melding my spirit to the land and all those before me. “Guide my spirit, let me see through your eyes and hear through your ears.” Placing my hands along the tendril, the stripes and dots along my skin ignite into a bright shade of indigo.

I could feel my chest beginning to fill with warmth as if that all-consuming flame had melded with my spirit permanently. The warmth continued to push toward the surface until it burst into an unyielding flame, blending into the spirit tree. It wasn’t as painful as before though, more like I was a soft clay being molded into a pre-existing statue. I felt like I was current among a raging ocean, a blade of grass in an everlasting field.

Then it hit me, the steady song that was ingrained into my body, the very essence of why the world existed. Eywa’s grasp on my spirit was cool and hot at the same time, balanced and calm. Something you could only describe as chaotic and orderly all in the same breath. I felt like I stood in the eye of a hurricane as thousands of memories whipped past me. Like I was a child sat in Eywa’s lap as read flicked through history pages for me to look through.

Suddenly I was thrust forward, the world around me no longer my own.

My skin burned as I shielded my mate’s body with my own, deflecting the debris that spewed from the mouth of the mountain which threatened to land on her pregnant belly. It was never supposed to be like this, everything that could go wrong went wrong today. Our home’s roof began to burn, the smell of smoke filling the air.

“Tstewzawak, I can not go. The baby is coming, now.” Her hands gripped the lower portion of her belly, tears running down her cheeks as her legs trembled. She couldn’t stand, my mate could not stand.

Looking through the burned roof, I take a glimpse at the mountaintop. The sky was filled with burning ash, singeing anything it landed on. Thinking quickly, I grab a thin fur blanket from our Nivi and place it over my mate.

“Eywa has decided to punish us, we have upset her. We should not have come here.” Cried Fu, her voice muffled under the blanket. “I am to blame.”

“Do not say that, Fu.” I said, quickly bounding toward the wall. Pulling my heavy bow from the wall, I sling it over my shoulder.

The rumbling of the Earth outside clouded my mind as I scrambled to grab a basket, quickly placing in our water pouches and some dried meats we’d hung for the cold season.

“Eywa gives and Eywa takes when necessary. There is more for us than always moving around.” I said, squatting down beside her. Scooping her up into my arms, she cries out in pain, her fingers digging into my skin.

The dripping between her legs increased, causing my heart to thrum wildly in my chest. I did not want harm to come to my family. I could lose my home, I would rebuild them anything they wished for, but I refused to lose my mate or my child.

“Please hold on.” Pressing my forehead to her own, I leave our Marui behind, droves of villagers fleeing away from the mountainside.

The air was so hot and stuffy. It was bearable until it was not. There had always been rumblings in the ground but this one brought forth hot rock and fire, like warm amber swallowing everything the land had to offer.

“Don’t look, cover yourself, Ma Fu.” Pulling the fur blanket over my mate’s head, I inhale deeply before racing down through the village, carefully jumping over twisting vines and soot-covered ground.

The ash began to pepper the sky, falling down in warm blankets over everything our people had come to love and cherish. The ash singed my skin as I ran for safety but I didn’t care for myself. As long as I had the strength to crawl I would make sure they were safe.

“All-mother please guide us, all-mother please keep us safe. All-mother I give my life to you. All mother please protect my child.” Fu prayed, her cries rocking her delicate body. “I can not hold on any longer Tstewzawak, please.”

We’d run far enough, reaching the ocean’s edge. I tried to ignore the burning sensation on my back causing me to nearly stumble. My mind was tangled, the sounds of cries, screams, and more groaning land behind me. Looking around, I see a large fishing canoe gently bobbling along the surface of the water. Bringing Fu along, I set her inside and gently removed the blanket from her face and body. Wiping the sweat from her skin, I smile and she looks up at me in confusion.

“What is there to smile about?” She asked, her hands clutching the side of the boat.

Pushing it into the water, I lean over and place a kiss on her sweaty cheek.

“There is you and our child. That is all I need.” I said, trying to move her away from shore.

Placing my bow and the basket alongside her, I reach out and hold her hand. I nearly climbed into the boat until I looked at her neck bare and full of sweat droplets.

“Wait, there is something we’ve left behind. Please stay here Fu.” I said, my hand sliding along the boat as I reluctantly pulled away.

“Where are you going at a time like this? What could be so important that you will leave?” She wept, her trembling hand outstretched for my own. “Please, do not leave me. I need you, what if something happens.”

“I will never leave you, just please trust me, I am sorry, I will be back, I promise.” Drifting forward in the water, I press a gentle kiss to her lips.

Turning away from the canoe, I push forward through the water, the slight stinging pain of the burns drifting away due to the cool ocean water.

“You must do this Tstewzawak,” I said, a newfound sense of strength burning through my chest.

Racing back toward the clan I begin to call out, my voice tearing across the land, demanding my people to run to the beach and grab whatever boats they could find. In this moment I felt as if my limbs and lungs became one with the wind, my body moving faster than I’d ever felt it move before. The ikran of the village took to the sky, some of the poor creatures falling victim to the hot ash and boiling air. It tore me apart to see our companions in pain but I could not focus on that. I found our Marui quickly, the beautiful woven walls beginning to turn black from the soot.

“Where is it.” Shoving aside our items, I scan the room, my heart pounding in my throat until a familiar glimmer catches my eye.

Darting over toward our family hammock, I pry it open and reach inside pulling out what I’d been looking for. Our three songchords, nestled together side by side. Watching the Marui slouch and begin to collapse from the heat, I race out and cough as the ash begins to mix with the air further, the bitter taste filling my lungs and mouth, choking the air from my body. Tearing off a piece of my loincloth, I shove it over my mouth and nose and continue to run, blinking away the dark air from my vision. Feeling the soft warm soil turn to hot sand, I look among the tens of boats until I see a single boat with a blanket over the top.

“Eywa, please protect us.” Driving into the water, I swim toward the boat the hot ash washing off from my body and face, giving me slight relief. I even took some of the salty sea water into my mouth, cleaning the inside from the soot.

Making it to the boat that held Fu, I carefully climbed inside, gently pulling the blanket from her body. She looked like she was about to have the child at any moment, her hands clutching either side of the boat, her breathing uneven and strained.

“Why did you go? Why did you leave me?” She asked frantically, the worry in her eyes overwhelming.

Holding up our songchords, I gently place them in her outstretched hand, a weak smile on her face.

“You are a moron, Tstewzawak.”

“A moron who knows how much they mean to you,” I said with a toothy smile, moving beside her.

Seeing her water begin to further leak into the boat, I move beside her and gently urge her up into my arms, placing us both into the water. She looked as if the heat were going to have her pass out, I could see the blanket I’d covered her in was also speckled with burns, little marks left on her skin. I failed her, I failed my mate.

“This is better.” She said, her arm around my neck as I held her and the boat steady.

She signed in relief from the cool water ebbing between my thighs, until she flinched another cry leaving her mouth. Her eyes clenched shut.

“You can release now, Fu. You worked hard today.” Whispering into her ear, I place a kiss on her temple and she nods before trembling, crying out for Eywa.

Watching her begin to pant again, she grunts and in one last push, I watch our child come from her body, their little body flailing under the water until they rose to the surface, gasping for air only to cry moments later.

Seeing a few healers from the clan come forward, they carefully sever Fu from the child, his little cries loud and clear for the whole clan to hear as we sat in the water. Watching Ako, she carefully places the child in Fu’s arms, a happy smile on Fu’s face as she holds the child close.

“He is beautiful, Fu. He has your eyes, blue like the waters.” Kissing the top of his little head, I watch him quiet down some before beginning to whine again.

Carefully raising him and Fu into the canoe, I grasp the paddle of the boat and look behind me to see our clan’s home swallowed by ash and flame. Fu was silent, her finger brushing back our son’s short black hair.

“Are you feeling well, Fu? You are silent?” Moving closer to her and our child, she chuckles and coos at him, giving his little hand a shake.

“Do you like the name Wìstxung te Kxeyfre Tstewzawak’itan?” She said happily, as our son latched onto her chest.

Just as fast as the memory came to mind, it slipped out. I’d heard this tale spoken before, Yula’vo brought it up once while we pounded a yam-like root vegetable into a dough.

It was the tale of the first Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk of the Katoxampay. I knew that the spirit tree stored memories but I had no idea, no clue that it would be this sensational. To think, so many years ago they too came and stored their memories in this tree. It felt amazing to connect to the history of their people, my people.

To think, one day some poor Na’vi will learn to take belly shits from my memories. It was a little funny.

“Thank you, Eywa.” Taking my kuru away, I give the tendril one last stroke before swimming upward toward the surface.

Gripping onto a large flat stone, I pull myself upward, brushing droplets of water from my face. Freediving was still something I needed slight adjusting to, so I’d left some of my things above water.

Strapping my medicine pouch around my chest, I sigh and relax a little, slightly worn out from today. Closing my eyes, I feel my mind beginning to wander once more.

When Ik’tanhì returned to the Marui he’d practically jumped on me, giving me the fish he’d gotten. He kept going on about how he would keep me fed and happy and how he wondered if my Na’vi body would react like my human body.

My attention quickly shifted though when a shadow cusped over my closed eyelids, blocking out the sunlight for a few seconds. Feeling that same familiar chill, I open my eyes looking up toward the empty sky. The Ilu I’d brought along with me dipped her little head into the sea, her fins flapping roughly on the water. I heard no splashing so I knew something didn’t jump over my head so what the hell was here? What was watching me?

Mounting my ilu, I link my kuru to hers to see that same shadow move above us again. Looking upward, I see a large ikran sweep down from the sky, its large red eyes a blur as it comes closer, claws out.

“Dive!” Sending my ilu down beneath the water, she dodges the attack with ease.

The massive Ikran’s claws skimmed over the top of the water, like a stork diving for fish. Its large orange body danced along the water’s edge as if it were teasing us, urging us to come upward. Coral flung through the water behind us, as its razor-sharp claws sliced through coral. I’d not felt my heart race like this since I’d lost Zunu to the pxazang.

Sending my ilu deeper into the waters, I watch the ikran above withdraw back into the clouds, seemingly losing interest. As far as I could see it blended into the sky until it became an afterthought. If it weren’t for it trying to attack, I would have never known it was even there.

Urging my ilu upward, I surface, gasping for sweet air. There was no sight of the ikran but I still felt off, the chills from before still moving down my spine.

“What the hell was that?” I said, only to feel a large pair of talons latch onto my arms, my body violently pulled from the water. My kuru seared in the back of my head from the sudden yank away from my ilu, leaving me slightly dazed. Beneath me, I could see my ilu following along.

“Let me go, fuck face!” Screaming, I flail my legs around and swing myself back and forth in its talons. Watching it snap its maw at me, I kick upward sending both my feet into the beast’s jaw.

The ikran seemed rather shocked by the sudden kick because, in a matter of seconds, my body was free-falling through the air, the ocean slamming into my back. Plunging beneath the surface, I orient myself and swim upward, my ilu positioning her body under mine to help me. Looking upward, I watch the Ikran stare down, moving back into the clouds above.

“Damn it. Can I not have one day of peace.” I said, flipping off the sky only to feel a searing pain in my arms.

Looking down, I see large gashes across both my arms, blood trickling down my arms. Looking over the gashes, I wince as the pain in my arms begins to burn hotter. Trembling, I reach down and connect our kurus. Straddling her properly, I relax my body against hers as she moves on back toward the clan. This would be very easy to explain.

“Neyswa! What happened?” Nguyo said, as he practically sprinted across the beach toward me, his beautiful face full of concern.

“You look so handsome when you worry about me,” I said, chuckling as he looked over my arms.

The gashes I’d sported moments ago were now small cuts along my arm. The amount of blood on my arms and torso made things look much worse.

“One moment I was with my Ilu and the next thing I know, I am being taken into the air by an ikran. It was nothing like Tetsa though, much larger and meaner looking.” He looked my arms over, his thumbs brushing across the area where the cuts were just seconds ago.

Watching him kneel, he lifts me into the air, his arms holding me tight as he caries back toward the village.

“Place me down this instant! People already think I’m weak, I have to save face Nguyo.” Feeling heat creep up my neck and cheeks, I reach out where the wounds are, feeling that they are now gone.

Hesitating, he complies, setting me down into the damp cool sand. Taking my arms into his hands, he sighs.

“You are hurt, or at least you were,” He said, his thumbs coating themselves in my blood as he traced over my healed arms, a look of confusion on both our faces.

“I may-”

“You may think I am just some infatuated fool but I have a duty toward my future Tsahìk and toward the clan. Your safety is important to me, Neyswa. You are my only destiny and my cherished duty,” For the first time, Nguyo’s sweet and candied tone faded to reveal something sturdier, more sharp-edged. “Now come, I will help you and then you will tell me more about what you saw.”

Nodding silently, I keep hold of his hands as we walk briskly toward his Marui. I felt slightly guilty like I’d not taken him as seriously as everyone else just because he’d been so kind to me. Even when I’d laid beside Ik’tanhì at night I couldn’t help but think of Nguyo now, sometimes I would feel guilty thinking of him as just some beautiful second option. Even when he’d made me turn to putty with just his mouth, I was thinking of how experienced he might be. He was a warrior, someone who took up the dangerous task of fighting for and protecting his people. Every day he put his life on the line for others without a second thought. Even when I first came here, he went out of his way multiple times to show me that he cared. He made me feel like I was a part of something greater and that someone could actually care about me for me. He listened to what I said, things I never found too important about myself were noticeable to him. It may have been him simply stating his purpose but it made something sweet and sugary fill my stomach, these butterflies more gentle than any I’d felt lately.

“Nguyo?” I whispered as he brought me toward his Marui, the woven home quite different from the others I’d seen.

He was an unmated male and his sister had her own space for her own growing family. It never occurred to me how lonely he could have possibly been in his Marui.

The inside was beautiful, a clear sign that he’d put a lot of work into making it himself, I felt guilty for dragging my water-covered ass inside. The walls had two makeshift windows. One facing the east and the other facing the west as if he watched the stars move through the sky. In front of each window swung woven blue and aquamarine sinew, different beads arranged to look like the sun rising and setting. Around each window were small bits of coral, each one a different color and type, like he’d picked them up in between hunts. It was funny to think of Nguyo taking on creatures and then stopping to pick up trinkets he found beautiful.

As for his Nivi, it swung peacefully in front of one of the windows, two wooden hooks embedded in either side of the Marui, as if he couldn’t decide which window he wanted to sleep under.

On a large shelf of some sort, he had a bunch of nets, along with some shell fragments full of what looked like prototyped paint. Bunched up on top of the netting was a small basket, with unfinished net material inside along with what looked like a crochet hook. If there wasn’t hunting gear beside the Marui’s entrance I would have thought this was something for a craftsman instead.

Taking a seat on the ground, I relax as Nguyo fidgets in the corner. Coming toward me, he lifts my arms up, his focus glued on wiping away the blood and wrapping the nonexistent wounds.

“Nguyo.” Reaching a hand up to his cheek, I watch him divert his attention back toward me, his face in a small scowl as he cleans the blood. “I see you.”

Smiling, I brush my thumb across his cheek, before holding his jaw in my hand. Pulling him closer, I press a gentle kiss to his lips. It wasn’t heated like yesterday but it felt just as passionate.

Taking the bandages from him, I loop them around my arm on my own, careful not to place too much pressure over where the wound was moments ago. Leaning forward, he takes my face in both of his arms lands, pressing the same gentle kiss back onto my own lips.

“I always saw you Neyswa, I always will.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 27

Ema’ti was not pleased in the slightest when she’d heard of my little attack on the toruk. I expected her to be upset that I’d attacked the sacred bird but instead, she was more upset that I’d been alone. She blamed herself and then assigned a guard to my hip at all times.

In fact, my little brush with death got me placed back into the mating dating pool. When I insisted on not so many people being assigned to me, she only hissed and told me how important I was to our people, the same thing I’d heard every time I insisted on doing things on my own. She said I was lucky enough to survive the attack, and that the beast was called the Last Shadow for a reason. Knowing my little stunt I probably pissed the thing off and that terrified me. Not because I thought it might attack me but because it might attack the people of our clan. The RDA I could try to handle, but literal dinosaur birds were not my area of expertise.

“Are you ready?” said Ik’tanhì.

My mind continued to buzz as I watched him. He’d been strapping various amber knives to his chest, his arms flexing with each small movement. I’d noticed it a few days ago but his climbing muscles seemed to have grown in size along with his swimmer’s muscles. I didn’t know if it was because he’d been guarding the seawall more but he seemed to bulkier now, even with his lean body. I wondered if this is how Nguyo also bulked up.

Catching him staring at me, I divert my attention to the water, praying he’d not noticed me ogling his body.

Scooting closer toward me, he squats in front of me, bumping his forehead to my own.

“What are you doing monkey boy,” I said, trying to push his body back into the water and failing.

“Well, I figured if you want to look at me I should get closer so you could admire me.” He laughed, taking my hand in his own. “Anything for my precious Tsakarem.”

“I only stare because you are funny to look at.” Teasing him, I watch him place a kiss on the back of my hand. “Come with me into the water, monkey boy.” Scooting closer toward the surface, I dip my feet beneath the surface. “I am sure I will not get into trouble for showing you what I am learning.”

I asked him not only for the company but due to the fear of being alone. The last thing I wanted was to come back and find him torn to shreds.

“Anything for you, demon girl.” He said, pulling us both down into the cool waters.

Swimming hand in hand with Ik’tanhì we glide down deeper, both of our Ilu seemingly playing together as we do our deep dive. Connecting Ik’tanhì to the tree of voices was rather fluid and quick and before I could even pray, I could feel us both being pulled away into a memory.

“What do you mean there is nothing you can do? You are our Tsahìk!” I screamed, my voice louder than it’d ever been before.

“I have done everything I can do, all we can ask for now is for Eywa to guide her spirit.” The Tsahìk approached me, my motionless baby in her arms.

I couldn’t believe how quickly things managed to deteriorate. Just hours ago I had been feeding Nolì and cooing at my daughter and now she was leaving me, her weak little body unable to do much aside from breathe.

“There must be something, there will be something,” I shouted, holding her close to my body. “Eywa, mother, please. I love her more than I love anything else.” I cried walking out of the Marui into the arms of Pxeka who looked rather tired and sad.

I’d sent him away, looking for any possible medicine and to gather every healer he could find. Yet, here I was with him and our dying child in my useless arms.

“Maybe we should make her comfortable if there is truly nothing we can do, Tsana. I love her too but I want her to be happy if we must lose her.” Pxeka said weakly, his hand brushing over her little cold head.

“I did not take you for someone to back down so easily Pxeka te Nìkatsrek Tutsäreym'itan.” I’d only said his full name whenever he truly upset me and right now? I could not even think straight and he wanted to give up on our only child. “I will not let her die Pxeka, I will sooner fall on the blade myself.” I hissed pushing his hand away, carrying her little body into the jungle.

“Tsana, please listen!” Pxeka called out to me, following behind me as I raced through the thick dense jungle.

I couldn’t let it happen, there was so much I had yet to see with my little girl. I’d not seen her get her own mate to love, I’d not seen her speak her first word or even take her first steps and she was prepared to leave me.

“Please forgive your mother for failing you, I will not allow you to get worse,” I said through tears, stepping over arching branches until I saw it, our beautiful spirit tree.

Watching the ground light up beneath my feet, I smile at the sight of faint but glowing markings on her skin. She was alive, that was all I needed to keep driving myself forward.

Kneeling at the base of the tree, I carefully place her down, connecting her little kuru with the large pinkish-violet tree tendrils.

Connecting my own Kuru, I place my hands over her body, my head bowed as low as it can go without crushing her.

Feeling Pxeka come beside me, he connects his Kuru to the tree as well, his hand brushing down my back.

“I will not back down, just allow me to do this with you.”

“So now you fight for her?” I chuckled sadly, removing my sash to place it around Nolì’s little body.

“You are my mate Tsana and she is my only child, I will always fight for you, both of you.” Taking up my hand, he gives it a tight squeeze and I fight back the urge to cry further.

“Then please Pxeka, help me.” Squeezing his hand, we both bow our heads, our daughter silent between the both of us.

“Hear us please, Great Mother.” I began, Pxeka beside me saying Srung si peoru, ma Eywa, begging Eywa to help her.

“Take my spirit into you and breathe her back to us.” I rock back and forth, my body warming, my heart beginning to race rapidly in my chest. I did not know how or when it happened but I’d changed.

Reaching out to Nolì, I smooth a hand over her little head, my tears falling across her little face.

“Let her walk among us as one of the people. I lose myself before Eywa, I lose myself before Eywa, I lose myself before Eywa.”

Gently releasing my kuru from the tree of souls, I reach down and pick up Nolì’s little body, linking my Kuru to her own. I could remember just days ago when I’d done the same. I could remember when she took her first breath. I could remember when I first felt the flutter of her feet. She was mine and I would do anything for her, I loved her more than my heart could show.

Feeling my chest begin to warm again, I hold her closely, rocking her back and forth with Pxeka by our side, his prayers drowning out the silence in my ears. I would surely be banished from the clan for this but I did not care, I would do anything for my daughter.

Feeling a sudden sharp pain in my chest, I wince and lean into Pxeka. I could not see it but I could feel it. I could feel my spirit linking onto her own, her weakness almost overbearing me. Feeling a stinging sensation, I reach upward to the small drips of blood coming from my nose. However I continued through the pain, my soul wrapped around Nolì’s like a warm blanket, that uncomfortable heat smothering the cold within her.

“Eywa, please.” Begging weakly, I feel her Kuru unlatch from mine on its own my heart stopping in my chest.

Well, until I heard her little mouth inhale deeply and a sharp cry come from her mouth. Nolì’s little eyes opened full of tears as she flailed around gripping for me. Watching my blood drip down onto her little tummy, I wipe it off and place a sweet kiss on her forehead. Turning to Pxeka, I reach for his hand when I feel the world black out, my arm tightening around the baby before I pass out.

My body, my real body jolted for a moment before I was pulled in again, into another memory.

This time I looked at Tsana te Werayfe Zewzuwuk'ite, my beautiful mate in my arms crying as she held her spirit sister’s calf. The child was attacked by what could only be another Tulkun, one who’d gone rogue. The slaughter of the calf was brutal, its head split in two, causing its very golden essence to trick down out of its skull. I felt horrible that all I could do was hold her and her pregnant stomach as if the pain was too much to even think of.

“Skuha my sister, I am sorry.” Tsana cried, breaking free from my arms to comfort her spirit sister. It appeared Skuha had brought her calf along to share the sad news and to seek comfort.

I watched as Tsana leaned in, placing a sad kiss on the calf’s lifeless head, its blood and essence staining her lips and cheeks. When I went forward to hold her she let out a sharp cry, licking her lips and clutching her stomach.

“Tsana!” Swimming toward her, I take her into my arms, as she trembles holding her body.

“The baby Pxeka, she is coming.”

I could feel the memory suddenly fading as I was pulled away from the tree of voices and brought to shore by Ik’tanhì. Being pulled onto the same flat rock from earlier, I cough up some of the water that drifted into my lungs.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, reaching out to grasp his arm, his skin cool to the touch.

“Why did I do that?” He asked looking me over, his hands brushing across my skin. “You felt like you were being burned alive Neyswa. I reached out to touch you and you were practically boiling the water around you. Are you okay?” He looked me over quickly as if he were terrified of what might happen to me, his hands gripping my arms.

“I am fine, I promise,” I said, hoping to calm him down, his orange blackhole-like eyes baring down into my own.

“Come we are going back to the clan now, you should rest.” It was clear from his tone and the way he looked at me that there was more to it than I saw but I chose not to pry, I didn’t want to upset him further.

“Fine.”

By the time we’d made it back to the Marui, Ik’tanhì was silent. He’d not said a word on the way back either. Instead, he just glanced at me as if I were going to collapse. It made me wonder if I’d shown him too much, something that he wasn’t ready to see.

Placing up his knives, I step beside him to do the same with my own tools when he takes a step away from me, his fingers trembling.

“Here, let me help you,” I said, reaching out to touch his hands, only to have him pull away from my touch.

“I can do it.” He huffed, carefully placing his knives into their slots along the Marui wall.

“Then, let me take out the hammock. It gets pretty exhausting going back and forth-”

“I can do that too, just rest.” He said, heading over to where his rolled-up hammock was.

So I wasn’t stupid, there was an issue.

“Are you upset with me because I showed you something so graphic? Or, are you worried I’m going to get…sick like that baby did? Because I can tell you now, I’ve felt that heat before and I’m fine.” I said, reaching out to place a hand on his back. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“The child in that vision was fine too, Neyswa. They got sick so fast and your skin is warm, a lot. There are nights when I wake up holding you and you feel just as warm. What if you too grow sick?” He said, his fingers struggling to undo the knot in the hammock.

“But I won’t get sick. I’m strong now, I’m not the weak little Georgia who passed out in the jungle.” I said, reaching out to help him undo the knot.

“Keork’a was not weak, you are not weak as well, I know that. You were sick. Even when your sickness did not take your life, your own father did. How many times do I have to lose you for you to understand my worry?” He said, his voice strained. “Every night, I fear I will wake up and you will be gone again. I can’t lose you again, Keork’a, Neyswa, or any part of you. If you are to die like that child, I think I would be lost.” Tears ran down his cheeks, as he finally undid the knot.

I couldn’t pretend I’d not noticed how he looked at me differently, not like I was some sort of fragile doll but more like a ticking time bomb. It wasn’t worry but fear that I’d someday collapse in his arms all over again, that he would be alone. It explained why he’d practically glued himself to me at night, not caring for Ema’ti’s warning to keep his distance.

Watching him hook the hammock to the wall, he takes a seat staring down at his hands.

“What good am I as a warrior if I can not protect you from everything? What good are these hands?” He said, reaching out for me.

I take a few steps forward, allowing him to hold me, resting his head against my stomach.

“Is that why you’ve been giving me those big puppy eyes whenever you see me?” I asked, gently wiping the tears from his face.

“A what?” He asked, allowing me to hold him close.

“That is not the point,” I said, smiling sadly. “I thought you might still be upset with me because of the past because I lied to you. I thought you were beginning to hate me again.”

“Hate you? I could never hate you, no matter what you did. I was angry then because you hid the truth rather than the truth itself, even though both were horrible.” He spoke honestly, ushering me to sit beside him. “I can not think straight when you are not near me. I can not breathe if it is not the air you exhale. I could talk to you for hours about a single moment I’ve had with you and it would not be enough. Please, never think that I hate you ever again, my heart sings for you.”

There it was, that familiar burst of butterflies in my stomach again, yet it felt stronger, more like fireworks.

Turning my face away from him to hide my blush, he stands up and sits on the other side of me, prying my hands from my face. Everything in my body told me to stop him, to push him away in case I broke his heart again.

“Is Ma Neyswa shy now?” He leaned in, his lips brushing across mine, feather-light as if to test my proverbial waters.

My heart hammed against my ribcage, my breathing uneven as I simply stared at him like a panting love-struck fool. Love was something that terrified me and I knew I was falling in deep. Yet, all I could do was pull him in closer, returning his kiss.

His lips found mine in a sweet and soft kiss. It felt as if my cool icy nerves were being melted away by the second. He kissed me again, over and over like I’d disappear if he stopped. He kissed both my lips, then the top only then the bottom, and then both again.

“I am not shy, I just don’t know if I will be able to stop myself, or if I will hurt myself by letting you or anyone else get so close,” I whispered, now meeting his peckish kisses with matched fervor. “I don’t want to mess this up, I don’t want to mess Nguyo up, I don’t want to mess you up.”

Of course, I kept talking through his kisses. I didn’t want it to stop but I didn’t know where to begin. I thought it was easier with Nguyo because he cared for me more, but it made things easier I didn’t let myself get too close, I was too close to Ik’tanhì and now I was too close to him too.

“Neyswa, you can mess me up, you can break my heart. I don’t care as long as it’s you who is breaking it. I don’t think you understand how much you truly mean to me. If thinking about you made the stars fall from the sky, there would be no stars. If needing you made the seas dry up we would only know desert. You are all I want, not even eternity will be enough time.” He held my face now, simply staring into my eyes.

The silence in the Marui made my heartbeat sound like a drum, or maybe that was his own foolish heart. At the moment, I couldn’t tell our affections apart from one another. He wasn’t lying either, he’d only been honest with me from the moment we’d met. Even when he was upset with me and could have taken my life he still cried for me, he still cared for me and even now, he said he always would.

Before I could even reply, his arms were around me, and my own around his neck, pulling his lips against mine. I tried to keep myself quiet but the affection-hungry kiss left me wanting for more.

My breath hitched, as he pulled me closer onto his lap. His hand slipped down the smooth curve of my spine, gently pulling down my top until my chest was exposed for him to see. Just like his kiss, his hands were warm as they cupped my breasts, his thumbs tracing sweet slow circles around my nipples.

“Ik’tanhì, please,” I practically gasped into his mouth, my skin running hot wherever his fingers went.

“Hush, let me show you how much I hate you.” He said, his hand slipping down between my legs, his fingers gently squeezing my inner thigh, just sweet centimeters away from my growing slickness.

“You hush.” I shuddered at his touch, his hands he’d used to hunt now dangerously close to what kept me from devouring him.

Pulling him back into the kiss, I part his lips with my tongue, my hands reaching out to hold his face.

My mouth melded into his, the tip of my tongue brushing across his lips. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before parting his lips for me. Capturing his tongue in my own, I deep the kiss, that warm tingly feeling in my stomach spreading lower when he kisses back. I could swear I heard him growl as we parted lips for a moment, only to have him pull me back in, this time allowing him to take the lead. His mouth tasted of Yovo fruit and seeds I couldn’t remember the name of.

“Make me,” He said against my lips, before tilting my head up to gently nibble down the side of my jaw. His teeth brushed across my neck before he bit down, the sensation sending my eyes rolling.

My breathing felt strained, and my loud pants muffled only when I bit down on my fingers. The silence that filled the room had been quickly replaced by the sound of his mouth against my neck. His fingers pushed between my pussy lips, his knuckles brushing along my throbbing clit. Biting back a moan, I fight the urge to go limp under his touch. Ik’tanhì chuckled into my neck, his tongue licking slow sweet strokes across where his sharp teeth just were.

Just as quickly as he toyed with my clit, he went down to give my slit equal attention, his hand exploring my wet pussy. Pulling his mouth from my neck, he lips his clean with a happy smile.

There I was in his lap, an utter mess. My lips were slightly swollen from his plethora of kisses, my body dappled with small beads of sweat while my rock-hard nipples only continued to stay stiff under the warm air between us. Hell, even the area between my thighs was soaked just from his knuckle pressing against my clit.

“You look so pretty.” He purred, his voice strained as if he wanted more of me.

Watching him spread my lips for us both to see, he reaches down giving my clit a small flick. Flinching from the sensation, I try to pinch my legs together when he stops me.

“You enjoy seeing me panting like a wild animal?” I said, pushing my hair from my face.

“You say that like you can’t take it.” He teased, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my cheek. “Now come here, I’m not done with you yet.”

Ik’tanhì wasted no time drawing me toward him. I wouldn’t have called it aggressive but he was surely possessive. Having him shift us both, I now straddle his lap, his hands holding my waist. I’d not noticed it until now but Ik’tanhì looked feral. His pupils were dilated, his lips parted slightly and his hair hung lazily around his face. A low growl rumbled in his chest, his hold on my waist tightening as he pulled me down harder on his bulge. His loincloth had been holding back the strain of his arousal, something I’d now felt. It was a side of him I’d seen only now and it made me feel wanted, and desired. His fingers traced the curve of my hips, his fingertips pleasantly digging into my body. The sensation sent unholy shivers through every inch of my body, his eyes were dark and intense as he watched my reactions.

“You’re mine,” He murmured, his voice low and rough as he ground up into me.

Gasping, I reach behind myself, gripping his legs. He smirked at my reaction, his hands slipping low to grasp my ass, pulling me down on his hard-on yet again. His arousal was beyond evident at this point, pressing insistently against my bare pussy through his loincloth. It was intoxicating, the raw desire in his eyes, the possessive grip of his hands. I couldn’t deny the heat building up in my lower stomach like a wave of overwhelming pleasure began to build within. His eyes never left mine as I tried to adjust myself, slowly moving against him now. The friction that built between us sent another wave of pleasure through me, causing my grasp on his legs to tighten.

My movements grew more confident as I ground down into his length, the rhythm dictated by the grinding of my hips. Each grind seemed to send him closer and closer to the edge, because he got quicker, hungrier. My breath hitched when he released my waist, his hands sliding up and down my body, enjoying every inch of my warm skin. The way he touched me and looked at me was pleasantly confusing like he’d been debating if he should defile me or adore me. The room filled with the soft sounds of our combined breaths and the gentle creak of the Nivi beneath us.

As the pace quickened, so did my heart and my breathing. My hold on his legs grew weak as he dragged me from the tip of his cock down to his hips. The pleasure was building, a crescendo that threatened to push me over the edge.

“Ik’tanhì,” I whimpered. His name on my lips in a near breathless whisper, a plea or a prayer? I didn’t know.

My heart pounded in my chest and every nerve in my body seemed to be on high alert. The feeling was like a deep pulse or even a hot coiled spring. Feeling one last push into my clit, I cry out, my hands losing their grip on his legs. Reaching out for his shoulders, I whine heedlessly as I feel myself losing control of my limbs, my legs shaking on top of him. His greedy fingers went down between my thighs, toying with my clit mid-orgasm. All I could do was fight the urge to scream, my eyes rolling. He purred beneath me, his hips thrusting into me as I came for him.

“Wait, Neyswa.” He said, reaching down to move me off of him. “I can’t taint your body.” He panted, sliding from under my body.

Standing from the nivi, he takes himself in his hands turned away from me. It was the first time I’d seen him like this. I’d seen him naked but I never went as far as to look at his cock. It looked fairly similar to what I’d seen back home, aside from the various stripes and bioluminescent dots on his skin.

“Who is the shy one now?” I chuckled, only to watch him turn around, his heavy gaze on my own.

“Shy? I am trying not to break this new body of yours.” He said, his words strained as he continued to hold himself.

“I’m durable, break it,” I said, reaching out to take his cock in my hands.

His hand immediately went around mine and I’d expected him to pull me off. Instead, he began to quicken his strokes, his teeth bared in small hisses.

He was so warm in my grasp, his cock throbbing as he dragged my hand from head to hilt. Deciding to get my own revenge, I lean forward and press a kiss to the tip of his cock. Licking away the small sticky salty drips of precum, I feel Ik’tanhì tense, his hand reaching out to hold my hair.

“Neyswa, what is-” He tried to speak but I licked again, this time taking the tip in between my lips.

Before I could return the favor, he growled pulling himself from my mouth, his warm cum shooting out across my mouth and cheeks in warm ropes. It seemed like he’d been holding in for a while from the way the excess spilled down my face onto my breasts and thighs. Going to lick my lips, he huffs and uses his hand to wipe his seed from my lips.

“Forgive me, that was unclean.” He said, releasing his grip on my hair. “Forgive me.” He said again, kneeling down, using his loin cloth to wipe me clean.

Chuckling, I allow him to clean me off and shake my head no.

“That was unclean? That is normal on Earth.” I said, licking the salty taste from my lips.

“Earth sounds more and more strange the more you speak of it.” He said. “I will wash you, come with me.”

We were quick to dress, leaving the Marui in the dead of the night. I just prayed we wouldn’t bump into someone in the state we were in. I wanted this moment, just for us.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 28

Living with the Katotxampay seemed to make time fly by. Before we all knew it, it was the beginning of winter. I wanted to say things got easier but that would have been a lie, if anything my job as the tsakarem only got more intense. When I wasn’t at the spirit tree I was at the clan beginning to help Ema’ti treat those who were injured or feeling unwell. It seemed most of the people who came in for treatment lately happened to be young men and women who’d been getting hurt at the sea wall.

It was word of mouth of course but apparently, there was an aggressive Tulkun out there due to their peaceful nature that same tulkun became an outcast leading it to a violent lifestyle. Ema’ti forbid anyone from approaching the rogue but it seemed as if he came to pester us. My only worry was the state in which Nguyo or Ik’tanhì would return. They came home with the usual scratches but who knew when a scratch would turn into something more serious? To keep myself busy I focused all my time on aiding Yula’vo who’d just given birth.

Nguyo mentioned that the child might have been coming due to the return of her spirit sister. She’d been swimming closer toward the village when she and Yula’vo entered labor. The only difference between the two is that Yula’vo gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and girl. It was quite funny to see both her and Weyvawla’s faces when another child came. Yet, it felt just as lovely to hold the new life in my hands when I’d assisted her in birthing her children.

“These two are like fire and water. When Rawtowang sleeps, Evu wakes.” Yula’vo said, nursing the small baby boy in her arms. “At least Evu is much calmer, she must get that from me.” She said, looking over to the fussing baby in Weyvawla’s arms.

Weyvawla seemed to be happily in a world of his own. I could swear I’d not seen him place down his children once in my time here to help the new parents. It made me wonder if Nguyo and Ik’tanhì would be that happy to have children of their own someday and if I would be involved in either process.

Would my future children have my five fingers or only four like their father? Would they look like how I did as a human or would they share my same blue face? Would they even want to know who I was or where they came from? Could I even have kids in this body? So many unanswered questions weighed down my spirit and I’d not even been mated yet. I was far too busy to think of mating, I think the men did that enough for me. When I wasn’t working myself tired, I usually found myself slipping from marui to marui.

“I am just happy they are both healthy. I would not want them to travel if they were weak.” I said, coming over to little Evu. Reaching out for her, Weyvawla shakes his head and motions for me to go bother Yula’vo instead.

“Winter was never my favorite season. When I was a child this clan was large enough to handle itself but we must move whenever it gets too cold due to the ignorant sky people.” Yula’vo sighed sadly, causing Rawtowang to whine in her arms.

“I thought we were only going deeper into the jungle, are we leaving the clan behind?” I asked, approaching Yula’vo now for little Rawtowang.

Happily being passed him, I grin and bring him down with me onto the ground. Resting him on my thigh, I gently begin to pat his back.

“Yes, we must all leave. We gather with any other clans during that time. I once had to battle a young Na’vi who showed interest in Weyvawla.” Yula’vo chuckled as Rawtowang burped, his little whining stopping now.

“New land? I can barely remember our own.” I joked, now holding Rawtowang in my arms. Rocking him, I hum gently to try and lull him to sleep.

“I am more worried you will find another mate there. If is a man from our clan I will be pleased but I can not have you taken by another.” She pouted, her beautiful face turning into a serious frown.

“I doubt I would find anyone as kind as Nguyo or as headstrong as Ik’tanhì there. Plus, I am too busy helping you to look for a mate.” I said, bringing Rawtowang’s forehead to my own.

I wanted to say this was a lie but it was all a sad truth. My work had consumed any free time I found myself having. I was lucky if I got enough time to even piss on my own. Even now Emsutsu stood outside the Marui, her serious face peeking in every now and then when things got too quiet.

“You are allowed to have your own life to live, Neyswa. You have duties yes but so does everyone else.” Yula’vo said, reaching out for Rawtowang. “Actually, I ask you to leave and go be young. You will get to take care of children when you have your own.”

“If I can have my own,” I said, touching my lower stomach.

“When,” She said, fanning me away from her. “Now go.”

Taking a stand, I place my hands on my hips baffled by the sudden toss-out. Looking to Weyvawla for support, he glares and points toward the entrance.

“If I have a child in the future you both are banned from holding them,” I said, turning my heels, and leaving the marui.

Nearly bumping into Emsutsu, I apologize and she smiles.

“I think you would be a lovely mother, Tsakarem.” She said, walking beside me, her large spear towering over us both.

Emsutsu was another one of my Mother’s candidates for Olo'eykte and I could see why. Just from her size alone, Emsutsu was a powerhouse. Every inch of her body was like hand-sculpted muscle and I found myself trying not to stare. Her hair was usually worn half up and half down, woven in place using plant fiber and pearl.

“Are you saying that because I am the tsakarem or because you think it’s true?” I said pushing my loose bits of hair from my face.

“Both. I’ve seen the way you handle the little ones of the clan. You are gentle and loving.” She spoke softly, her mouth inches from my ear.

Feeling my cheeks warm from the kind words, I turn to her with a bright smile. Her stare was almost as invitingly intimidating as the rest of her. It felt like her bright yellow eyes were baring down into my spirit. I knew her kind words were just kind flirtations but I couldn’t help but feel flattered.

Usually, when the others flirted it was in simpler ways. Offering shares of fish they’d caught, escorting me from place to place, or hell even leaving oceanic flowers at Ik’tanhì and I’s marui. However I did prefer the direct approach, it made my heart race to feel wanted. Yet, that could have been some sick way of coping with being discarded so much.

“Are you trying to woo me?” I ask.

She gave a hearty laugh, her muscular shoulders shaking. "Perhaps. Is it working?" she asked, her bright eyes twinkling with mirth.

“If Nguyo or Ik’tanhì find out you are making passes at me, they may get jealous,” I said, reaching up to toy with the ends of my hair.

"And they should," Emsutsu responded, her tone playful yet firm. "They need to understand they are not the only ones who see your worth, Tsakarem."

“I just hope everyone thinks the same way you do. If you are headed to see other clans I pray they find me somewhat normal. I know it might be frightening to see me like this.” I said, holding my five-fingered hand up in front of her.

Taking my hand in her own, she looks over my hands, giving my extra finger a little wiggle. I’d grown used to letting others examine me now. Some were kind and asked to touch my hands or look at my weird body while others took it upon themselves to be handsy.

“I don’t think it is frightening, the only time you have given me a shiver is when you return to us covered in blood.” She releases my hand and holds out her four-fingered one for me to see.

Our silence was broken by the sound of shouting coming from the jungle. Hoisting her spear in front of my body, Emsutsu and I looked in the direction of the commotion only to see the hunters carrying the body of a Na’vi, the man’s head lolling to the side while Nguyo’s hand clamped around his throat.

Watching them carry the man closer, they bring him into the marui we’d been using to treat the injured. Those who guarded the sea wall often came in with minor cuts and bruises or sometimes it was elders who’d had aches and pains from war still. Yet, I’d never seen anything as bad as this. Nothing as brutal.

“Bring my mother,” I said to Emsutsu, patting her arm. “Please, be quick.”

Reaching behind me, I pull my string of pearls from my tail. Quickly binding my hair behind me while jogging toward the medical marui. Watching the crowd split for me, I come beside where Nguyo is holding the young na’vi throats. Their face was covered in so much blood that I could barely make out the blue in their skin.

“There are too many people in here. Three of you stay. Everyone else split into two groups. Bring me fresh paywll, water, and…” Looking at Ik’tanhì who was covered in blood I rub my fingers together, unsure what the word is. “Cotton, it’s like wool but from plants?” I said in English, praying he’d understand.

Nodding, he translates what I’m saying, his words much smoother in contrast to when I’d usually spoken to him.

“I will take a group. Half of you come with me, the other half get the paywll.” He said, taking the others with him to quickly leave.

Turning my attention back to Nguyo, I watch him carefully continue to apply pressure to the wound.

“Please, keep them steady and one of you, explain what happened,” I said, looking up at Wumut who too had been covered in blood.

“We were gathering supplies when we heard a scream,” she came forward kneeling beside the young Na’vi. “We saw him and a young girl being attacked by the same toruk that attacked you.” Her chest heaved as she spoke as if the gruesome picture were ingrained in her mind.

Reaching down into the medicine pouch across my hip, I reach in and take out a few small flowers. Mashing the plant between my fingers, I reach out and slowly begin to pack the small mashed plant fiber into the Na’vi’s wound. It wasn’t anything to heal him but enough to try and stop his bleeding.

“Where is the girl?” I said, moving down to try and close the wounds on his arm.

“She did not make it. Tìpmayt chose to stay behind to gather her remains.” Wumut’s hand went to her stomach. “She was just a child, Neyswa. I’ve never heard of a toruk attacking like this. They choose their riders through attacking but I have never heard of a toruk choosing to attack a child. I could not stomach the idea of something happening to ‘Eki.”

“Wumut, go now.” Ema’ti said, coming into the marui. “You have just given birth, rest.”

Coming around to where Nguyo is she wipes the blood from his face. From what could be seen he was clearly unconscious, his breathing quite shallow.

“He has a deep wound on his neck and several scratches on his body. I sent the hunters to get things but he is losing a lot of blood.” I said, attempting to put more paste into his wounds.

It was horrible, every time I tried to stop the bleeding in one area, it only started to pour harder from another.

Pulling her needle from her necklace, Ema’ti pokes the needle into various spots on the man’s body, his fingers flexing from each jab. Seeing the small movement, she looks at Nguyo’s hands which are now stained red. This Na’vi’s complexion was closer to Ik’tanhì’s yet it seemed to have turned pale from the amount of blood he’d lost.

Watching his shallow breathing begin to slow, I look to Ema’ti who pulls her blade from her hip.

“I see you, brother, and I thank you. Your spirit will run with Eywa, while your body will remain and become part of the people.” She spoke, placing her blade above where his heart was.

Watching her swing down, I quickly remove my own and knock her hand away, resulting in her hissing.

“What are you doing child? Do you wish to see him suffer? He is too far gone.” She spoke bluntly. “You are the tsakarem, be one. Sometimes you must make hard choices.”

“Yes, I know who I am and what I have to do but, there has to be another way. I think he can live if you do not trust me as Neyswa, trust me as the tsakarem.” I said. “Please Tsahìk, mother.”

She clicked her tongue, reaching for her blade again. It had been a distant memory now but I felt like Georgia for a moment. Like I’d curled into a ball and turned into that dead girl at the bottom of the ocean. I knew what was coming, more disappointment, more speeches about who I was. I was tired of being told who I was.

Reaching down to the young Na’vi’s kuru, I hold it in my fingers and give the end a small squeeze, watching it open for me. The tendrils inside were a fleeting pink shade, growing dimmer by the second.

Grabbing my own kuru, I raise it to the young man’s. Looking up at Nguyo, he holds my gaze before shaking his head no.

“What are you doing,” Ema’ti questioned as I connected my kuru with the young man’s.

The first thing I felt was excruciating pain, phantom scratches along my skin, and a weak pulse. Watching the young man begin to breathe again, I reach out and take his hand in my own. I felt horrible doing this but I couldn’t let another innocent die, especially when there was the smallest chance that I would do something to help.

I wonder if this is how Tsana felt when she’d been holding her dying child. Feeling the heat build in my body, I close my eyes and try to focus. It felt so surreal to do this, so peculiar. It was like I was myself and I’d taken a step into his body. Feeling the heat within me bubble to the surface, I flinch when its bubbly heat spreads through my body and up toward my head. Pushing the heat through my kuru, I reach down and take the stranger’s hand in my own. I would feel his body warming with my own as I continued to release the heat.

“All Mother Eywa, take him into your hands and bring him back to us. All Mother Eywa, guide his spirit to heal him.” I said, as the heat only built into something that made me want to grit my teeth.

I felt like I’d cast a lifeline into a sea of death and I was trying to fish his spirit from the murkiness. Feeling the young man beginning to pant, he groans and passes out, our kurus disconnecting.

Opening my eyes, I look down to see the young man’s wounds have closed on his stomach, the plant matter that was there now sitting on top of his skin. Even the wound on his neck was now closed as if it were never there. Releasing his hand, I begin to wipe his skin clean, my hand trembling in the process. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck, my energy expended like a low-flame candle. Looking up at Ema’ti and Nguyo I give them a weak smile. Turning around, I see Ik’tanhì and the other warriors standing there, everyone quiet. “You’re back.”

The room began to spin, the sound of all the voices around us fading into one another. Watching Ik’tanhì tilt to the side, I collapse, the world going black in front of me.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 29

I wish I awoke to warmer circumstances. Instead, I found myself on the floor of Ema’ti’s marui. She’d been sitting toward the side, staring out at the ocean. Her hands weaving what looked like more winter clothes.

“Mother?” I said, sitting up.

Ema’ti only sat silently, her gaze still out on the ocean.

Standing up, I tentatively walk toward her and take a seat on the edge of her marui. It was only then that she looked at me, her eyes not filled with anger at all like I’d expected.

“Ma Neyswa.” She spoke softly, continuing her weaving.

“Mother, you should be resting,” I said, looking out to see the blanket of night covering the sky.

“Resting?” She scoffed, turning toward me. “How can I rest when my child slips away in my hands? I couldn’t rest, not until I knew you would awaken.” Her eyes sparkled with tears, yet none fell.

“Of course, I would awaken Mother,” I said, reaching out to take her hands in my own. “I know what I am capable of, I just wanted to show you that I can be worth something to you. I wanted to make you proud.”

And there I was again, that ten-year-old child standing in our lofty little apartment. Pushed up on my tip toes above a stove too hot for me to handle. Flipping pancakes and pouring a tall glass of orange juice for my mother. Georgia may have died but she lay within me, still grasping for any inch of approval, any signs that I was more than who everyone wanted me to be.

“Make me proud? You make me my proudest when you are safe and alive. Seeing you faint, seeing you die, seeing you worn and spent. That is what breaks my heart. I am your Tsahìk but I have not been your mother.” Her voice broke, tears beginning to spill down her cheeks. “I shouldn’t have pushed you into everything so fast, you should be the wild child you are, you should be allowed to enjoy your youth.”

Even as she cried, she reached out, her hands cupping my cheeks, stopping my tears.

“Mother,” I whispered, reaching out to hold her face. “You did nothing wrong, you pushed me into nothing.”

Wiping away her tears, I scoot closer bringing her into my arms.

“I am sorry, I’m selfish. You welcomed me in, you forgave my past, you lost everything and yet, I put you through this. I’m so sorry.” I held her tight, my hand patting her back. “You are more than my Tsahìk and you are more than just my mother. You carry our clan on your back.” Pulling away, I sniffle and frown. “I have pasts that I will never be able to bury and I carry them wherever I go like a child with a weapon. Even in this life, I have my mother’s patience and my father’s anger. They are a constant war inside of me and I am so scared I will hurt you, so instead, I try to make you proud and even now I fail.”

Unable to see properly, I try to blink my many tears away.

“I wish your father were alive, he would have handled this better than me. He was always better with his words. Neyswa, I love you. Please know, I mean it. So if you must challenge me do so when you are sure you will live. What you did was reckless, you could have died. I can not-” Her eyesight broke from my own. “I can not lose another child, I refuse. You don’t need to do your best for me, you are already your best.”

I was unable to speak, all I could do was pull Ema’ti back into my arms. My body was trembling in her hands. My mother gave birth to a monster and I was raised by a monster yet someone loved me, even for the monster I was. Ema’ti knew it all. She knew of the lives I took, she knew of my father, she saw my cruelness, and yet she still loved me.

I couldn’t help but cry in her arms. Oh, my precious Georgia. I wish she had the chance to be this loved. I cried for her, I cried for Magnolia, I cried for Zahara, I cried for Ema’ti.

“I do not need a father, I am your daughter and yours alone. You are enough for me.” My sobs broke my speech apart. “I love you too.”

We stayed in each other’s arms. My loud sobs covered her own. I didn’t mind it though, I wanted to be her shield for once. It was calming to be held, it was serene to be loved. Part of me even wished I could have been her daughter, born her real daughter. Would I have turned out good and pure just like her or would I have died at the hands of the RDA in that lifetime too?

“Now allow your mother to rest. You should get something to eat. We leave soon and you will need all your energy.” Mother pulled away, collecting her materials in her arms.

Placing her items away, I go over to where her nivi is and begin to unroll it, hooking it into the wall.

Mother’s home felt cozy and calming. The ceiling held many little bladder lanterns, casting blue glows across the woven roof. Where most maruis had one large entrance at the front, hers opened in the back as well, a small space to enter the water when needed. On the walls hung my brothers and father’s song chords, along with their old clothes and things. Just from observation, I would see that my father and brothers were more than warriors but artisans from their intricate clothes.

“Can I stay with you?” I said, helping her into her nivi. “I mean, can I lay with you while you sleep.”

She caught my gaze and chuckled, shaking her head no.

“You have your own nivi or two to lay in. I want you to go live and have fun, Neyswa. You don’t need to live for your mother in every life you have.” She whispered, taking her nivi and pulling it over her head. “Goodnight, ma Neyswa.”

Part of me felt surprised by her rejection but I wasn’t saddened.

“Goodnight, Mother,” I said, leaving her and the marui behind, and closing the entrance to give her some privacy.

Stepping outside of the marui, I see Nguyo and Ik’tanhì sitting down, both of them silent. Wiping any signs of tears from my face, I clear my throat and they both turn, Ik’tanhì faster than Nguyo. Before I could explain myself, I was hoisted off the ground, my body over Ik’tanhì’s shoulder.

“What is this,” I said, slamming my fist into his back. “Let me down! Nguyo, help me.” I said as I was carried down the netting. However, Nguyo only looked away.

Both of them looked irate like I’d just thrown myself in a pit of wild animals.

Being carried away, I am brought into Nguyo’s marui, Nguyo sealing the entrance behind him. Being placed on Nguyo’s nivi, I am surprised to see both of them step back, their arms crossed in front of me.

“Why am I being manhandled? I can understand if you’re upset but we can speak.” I said, sitting up.

“Now you can speak?” Said Ik’tanhì, a hand pinching the bridge of his nose. “We saw the memories together, Neyswa. We saw what happened when Tsana used those same abilities you have. Yet, you went ahead and did it anyway knowing you could get hurt.” Ik’tanhì spoke in English, the words hitting a little deeper.

“I knew I would not be harmed. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.” I said back in Na’vi, sitting upward.

“But what if you were wrong?” Nguyo pipped up, coming closer. “What if you were wrong, Neyswa? I don’t want to lose my future mate because of assumptions.” His voice was steady as he spoke. “I know you meant to do good but you must also do good for yourself.”

Looking between the both of them, I sigh and throw my hands up into the air.

“I know! I just had this talk with my mother. I know.” Standing up from the nivi, I sigh. “I’m sorry I worried you both, it was never my intention and I understand who I am and my place but I just wanted to do the right thing. I will mature and do my best to be safe but I will never become the kind of person who lets an innocent person die when I can do something about it. I’m sorry, that isn’t me. If neither of you can accept that then I will be fine on my own.” My heart raced in my chest as I spoke.

I grasped the back of my shawl, forcing myself to straighten up.

I took a breath, my chest heaving with the force of my words. "I am not asking you to agree with me, but I am asking you to trust me. I won't act recklessly, but I also won't stand by when I can make a difference." I stared at them both, my resolve firm.

“When I prayed to Eywa and asked for a strong mate, I didn’t think she would also be so stubborn,” Ik’tanhì said, coming forward to place his hands on my shoulders. “I trust you Neyswa, even when you are rash I trust you. So please, trust me too. I want you to be safe.” He spoke firmly, leaning down so we were face to face.

“I will accept you in any and every way, just, speak before you act. I don’t enjoy hearing you cry because you did something just.” Nguyo said as Ik’tanhì leaned forward pressing his mouth to my own in a soft kiss.

“You both heard that?” I said, shoving Ik’tanhì away.

“It was hard not to,” Ik’tanhì chuckled. “I thought it was cute, crybaby.”

My cheeks heated up, a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. "I am not a crybaby," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. "But I will try to communicate better in the future."

“Good, we can try small steps first.” Nguyo came over, pulling me away from Ik’tanhì’s grasp. Raising me into the air, he presses a kiss on my lips before setting me back down. “If you do tsaheylu with another, I may lose my patience.”

I shifted from foot to foot, somewhat tempted to ask him what that meant. I wouldn’t test Nguyo’s kindness though.

“I need to gather my things still. Would you two accompany me back to Ik’tanhì’s marui? I am too scared to go alone.”

"Of course," Nguyo said, offering his arm to me. "We'll protect you from the dark, Neyswa."

"I'm not afraid of the dark," I muttered, but I took his arm anyway. With Ik’tanhì on my other side, we set off towards the marui.

“Are you scared of the toruk? I do not think it would get this close to the village.” Ik’tanhì said, placing a hand on my lower spine, his fingers teasing the base of my tail.

“I know, but I just feel like it could be watching us. I’ve felt it for a long time, just watching.” Reaching behind me, I grasp Ik’tanhì’s fingers, off my tail, my face warming.

Ik’tanhì chuckled at my words, his fingers gently squeezing mine. "Even if it is, you have nothing to worry about. We're here to protect you," he assured me, his voice carrying a hint of affection that comforted my racing heart.

“You two protecting me? I brought you here in case I needed bait.” I said jokingly, stepping up to Ik’tanhì’s marui.

Stepping inside, I begin to gather my belongings, placing them away into the baskets and bags we would take with us. The Na’vi weren’t materialistic but I sure was. I’d be damned if I left my things behind.

“Bait? You wound me.” Ik’tanhì said, coming around to squat beside me. His hand pounded his chest above his heart.

“I think you would make proper bait,” Nguyo said, squatting to the other side, his hand touching where Ik’tanhì was just moments again.

“I agree,” I laughed, pausing my packing to look at them both. “A nice, muscular Toruk bait. Who could resist?”

“So you think I am nice to look at?” Ik’tanhì said, his rare beautiful smile making an appearance. “Would you like to be the toruk?”

Nguyo huffed, his hand slipping lower for a second’s notice. He was just a few centimeters short of my sex.

Quickly moving his hand away, I shoot him a warning glance. "Behave," I admonished. "We have enough to worry about without the two of you starting another competition."

“You say that now but wait until fifty unmated males are vying for your attention in a few days. You will miss our little competition.” Ik’tanhì grumbled, “If they wake up without their hands they will understand why.”

“I hate to say it but I agree with Ik’tanhì,” Nguyo said, brushing my hair from the side of my face. “If you like, we can mate before we leave. First me, and then Ik’tanhì, or any order you please. At the same time?” Nguyo’s tone was serious, with no playful hints in it.

Feeling that familiar warmth creep up my neck, I stop packing and just stand up.

“Both of you, out,” I said pointing toward the entrance. “I can not focus.”

“She can not focus? How cute.” Ik’tanhì teased, his hand reaching up to brush along my inner thigh.

Smacking his hand away, I hiss and point toward the entrance.

“Leave!”

They both were quick to exit, leaving me to pack my things on my own.

I just prayed this winter would pass quickly if what they said was true. I already had these two on my tail, I couldn’t handle any more.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 30

“I will miss you, my precious babies.” I cooed at Evu and Rawtowang as they tried to pull my fingers into their little mouths.

“Or you could be like the rest of us and ride Ilu or boats. There is more than enough space for you out on the ocean.” Said Yula’vo, her frown imprinted on her face.

Everyone in the clan who’d chosen to come was fully packed. Those who chose to stay behind would move inland, setting up camp with a few local Tipani clans. Ik’tanhì chose to follow the clan, of course, saying he refused to part from his people now.

“Trust me Yula’vo. If Neyswa were fire you could not convince her to burn.” Nguyo grumbled, brushing behind me, lugging more supplies into his boat which he’d be in with Ema’ti.

She’d told him they had a lot to speak about many things. Being quite vague whenever I was in earshot.

Coming over to Nguyo who kneeled before the boat he was in, I squat down so I am closer to his level. Ever since I’d opted to ride Tetsa with Ik’tanhì he’d been quite grumpy. He didn’t push me away or speak rudely to me but instead chose to grumble. It was quite cute to see Nguyo want more time with me.

Reaching out to the shawl I’d made for him, I adjusted it around his shoulders. The inside was lined with furs while the outer layer was leather. The last thing I needed was for him to catch a cold on the way there.

“I said I would ride with you on the way back,” I whispered, reaching up to push his hair behind his ear.

“Can I not miss you?” He said leaning forward to place a kiss on my lips.

Nguyo didn’t care for PDA much. He was quite hands-on which I should have known from the moment we met.

Returning the kiss with equal fervor, I stop and gently knock my forehead to his own.

“I will be right above you with Ik’tanhì. The worst that can happen is that I fall from the sky.” Chuckling, I stand up now, my shawl blowing into Nguyo’s face.

Watching him slip his head beneath it, he places a small kiss on my lower stomach, his tongue sneakily licking just under my navel. “If you fall from the sky, I will fish Ik’tanhì from the sky with a spear myself.” He continued his kisses, each one more frantic than the last.

If it weren’t for the others being around it made me wonder if Nguyo would have stopped himself.

Giggling at his threat, I reach under my shirt and remove his head. “Just, try to keep your eyes on the sea, ma Nguyo. If it worries you, I will join you soon.” Placing a kiss on his temple I smile.

He grumbles in response, but there's a small, relieved smile on his face. "Promise?" he asks, his eyes meeting mine.

"Promise," I confirm, my heart swelling with affection for him.

Forcing myself to take steps away from Nguyo, I stop just a few feet away from him.

“Are you sure you can not fit on Tetsa with us? I can squeeze.” I said, quiet enough for him to hear.

“I’m made for the sea but the sea and sky will always meet.” He placed his hand over his heart.

Nodding, I turn around and walk back over to Yula’vo. Helping her place her items into her larger boat, I sigh.

It felt strange to be away from Nguyo and Ik’tanhì now. Like I’d grown close enough to both of them to get sad when they weren’t around, like a little lovesick puppy. Loving someone else was horrible.

“Why the frown?” Ik’tanhì said, coming down the walkway to help me load Yula’vo’s things. “Are you that sad to write Tetsa with me? She will be good.”

"I'm not sad, Ik'tanhì," I respond, offering him a small smile. "I'm just... adjusting to new feelings.” Standing up once I’ve finished, I take his hands in my own.

"I promise to not let you fall from Tetsa," he assured me, his dark eyes filled with a warmth that eased my nerves. "And if I can't prevent it, I'll be right there to catch you, always and forever." He made a fist over his heart.

“That is reassuring. If Tetsa drops me I think Nguyo will kill you.” I said with a chuckle.

“Nguyo? Kill me? Nguyo would get stuck in a leather satchel if you placed one over his head.” Ik'tanhì joked, only to shift out of the way of a bag thrown by Nguyo. “He can not even aim.”

“I’ve spared you so my mate does not need to mourn another,” Nguyo said, helping Ema’ti into their shared boat.

Following her into the boat, he gives her a respectful nod.

“You are with me now, yawnetu,” Ik'tanhì whispered, his lips brushing against my ear. “I have missed being alone with you.”

“And what do you wish to do alone with me?” I asked, taking his hand as we made our way toward Tetsa.

Ik'tanhì also wore one of the shawls I’d made. His shawl was smaller than Nguyo’s yet made of a thicker fur and leather material. He’d opted into wearing his Ikran riding gear and something about it made my heart stop in my chest whenever he looked into my eyes. He usually looked manly but to see him so serious about something he held passion for was different.

“Maybe I just wish to remind you of how much I desire you, in a way that words alone cannot show.” Ik’tanhì’s voice dropped to a husky whisper. His hand slipped from my own, tracing the exposed skin of my neck. “In the sky, it is just us yet there is no privacy. I would not be against displaying my affection.”

“Ik'tanhì,” I breathed out, my cheeks flushing as I pushed his hand away from my body. “Behave or I will ride in a boat.”

“Fine, but at least allow me to help you mount Tetsa.” He said, his beautiful Ikran on the sandy beach waiting calmly for her rider.

Helping me onto Tetsa, she does not fight this time, her throat releasing happy hoots instead, I wondered if part of it was because I smelled like Ik'tanhì.

“I hope she doesn’t lose the smell of your scent on me and throw me into the ocean,” I said, watching Ik’tanhì mount Tetsa.

Pulling the hood of my shawl over my head, I tie together the plant fiber straps under my chin.

“What?” Ik’tanhì said, brushing his hand along Tetsa’s patterned skin. “She does not toss you away because of my scent, foolish Neyswa. It is because she knows how I view you through the bond.”

“Oh?” My skin ran warm under the shawl and I prayed Ik’tanhì could not feel the flutter of my heartbeat against his back. “Well, that makes me feel better. Then you try not to drop me, Monkey Boy.”

"I can't make any promises," he teased, as Tetsa let out a low growl, ready to launch us into the sky.

Hearing Ema’ti let out a sharp whistle, the clan falls silent. I swear you could hear everyone’s collective heartbeats. Signaling for the boats to go, I scoot closer and tighten my hold on Ik’tanhì. Feeling Tetsa lift off the ground, he guides her to fly low and close to the water, leaving a trail of water droplets spraying behind us.

“Are you a child?” I scold, gently nipping the skin on his back.

He laughs, the sound carrying on the wind as Tetsa rises higher, the ocean a shimmering blue beneath us.

“I am whatever you desire me to be, Neyswa,” he replies, his voice tinged with affection and mischief.

Rolling my eyes, I looked over the side of Tetsa’s large wings to see the boats under us, Nguyo’s face turned toward the sky as Ema’ti spoke to him. I could see him gesturing toward me, causing Ema’ti to snap at him.

“Should I be worried that Ema’ti wanted Nguyo to herself?” I ask, my hands moving from Ik’tanhì’s chest down to his toned stomach.

"No," he responds with a chuckle, "Nguyo's heart is yours, as is mine. I believe your mother wishes to have Nguyo be the next Olo’eyktan.”

“Really?” I said, looking down at the pair again. It was clear their talk was serious due to how stiff Nguyo’s body was. “I think he would make a lovely Olo’eyktan. Nguyo seems like he is made for this sorta thing.”

“You should have seen him when we were growing up. In the Tipani many of us are raised in quiet homes. I rarely spoke when I first came to the Katotxampay. Nguyo’s father wished to adopt me but I said no. So instead Nguyo clung to me, always speaking of how he wanted a brother. Every time I told him to shut up he only spoke more.” Ik’tanhì grumbled, yet I could hear the smile on his face. “He has always been a true brother to me.”

"I can see that," I respond, my gaze still focused on the boats below us. “I just hope I become a Tsahìk he can rely on. Are you sad that Ema’ti did not offer the position of Olo’eyktan to you?”

“No,” he replies, his chest rising and falling under my hands. “I was never meant to be tied to the sea. As the last of my clan, I am already somewhat of an Olo’eyktan, yes? I carry my people on my shoulders and in my spirit. I will make them proud.”

“That is beautiful, Ik’tanhì. I believe you.” Tightening my grip around his waist, I lay my head against his back. “Sea or sky, I will never leave your side, unless you ask me to.”

We flew in silence, my grasp on him tight even though my eyes had been pinched shut. It was calming to be here with him, just us and the clouds above us to keep us company. Sometimes the occasional small bird would come toward Tetsa but she’d only ignore the creature.

“Ma Neyswa,” Ik’tanhì said, gently moving his tail against my stomach. “Tell me about your sky people’s customs.”

“Human customs? Are you sure? I will never be human again.” I’d never truly said it out loud but the thought made my mind drift toward my mother. “What would you like to know?”

"Everything," he responds, his voice soft and curious. "Tell me about your traditions, your celebrations. Tell me about your world, from where you came. I want to know all about you, Neyswa."

“Well, there is so much someone could experience. My people may have been selfish but they were also kind, they were selfless. There were people who put their lives on the line for complete strangers every single day.” Thinking I begin to rub his body in slow sweet circles. “We have these things known as holidays. We would celebrate days of love, days of birth, and days to honor the dead. We even had a silly holiday for teasing each other. My favorite day though is a birthday. On that day we have these delicious sweet things called cakes. They’re soft and come in all sorts of flavors and colors. Would you like me to make you one?” I ask, thinking of Ik’tanhì’s serious face in front of a beautiful pink cake.

“A cake,” He says, looking ahead of us at the open stretch of ocean. “Do you get this cake on other days too? If it is good then I would like one on many days. I have yet to taste your cooking.”

“Well, I think you would like it. The women who raised me often baked cakes with me. As for other days, yes there are more. You can eat cake every day but it’s mostly eaten on birthdays and weddings.”

“Wettings?” He tries to say the word in English. “What is a wetting.”

“A wedding is a ceremony where two people come together and promise their lives to each other. Sometimes in front of their community or before their god. It’s a love celebration. Afterward, you typically dance, feast, and of course, you have your cake. We call it marriage on Earth but here I guess it’s closer to mating.” I spoke very matter-of-factly.

Ik'tanhì went silent for a moment before he spoke again.

"Is this something you would like, a wedding?" He asked, his voice barely audible over the rushing wind.

Blinking the cold air from my eyes, I shrug against his back. It was something I’d wanted to avoid in the past, something I’d never seen myself having.

“Well, it is not something I’m opposed to having. It would be a rather awkward affair though. In my last life, I was going to marry someone I never met before. I can’t imagine someone like me being afforded something so romantic.” Chuckling, I loosen my grip on Ik’tanhì feeling less frightened now. “I was nearly wed on the day I died.”

Ik'tanhì's body tensed uncomfortably causing Tetsa to jerk a little in the air. I’d forgotten that it was the same day he held my dead body in his hands. His silence was deafening compared to the whipping wind around us.

Ik'tanhì took a deep breath and spoke again, his tone rigid.

“If you had not died, would you have had your wedding?” He asked, turning around to look at me over his shoulder. “Would you be happy with your human mate?”

“Would you have been happy with your mate if not for my father?” I asked. “These are just things we can’t answer. Are you getting cold feet or something with all these questions? Maybe Nguyo’s talkativeness is rubbing off on you.”

“I want no part of Nguyo rubbing off on me.” He said, looking down at the boats. “I ask these things because sometimes you seem to be sad. You look to the sky often, like you wish to go back to your Earth.”

“I am happy where I am,” I said, my grip on him tightening.

Looking down at the clan, I see them beginning to head toward a small island, a small stretch of jungle in the middle housing what looked like a few marui.

“But would you be happier on your Earth?” He asked, Tetsa moving lower toward the water. “If your sky ship returns, would you leave?”

"No," I reply, my voice firm. "While my old life will always be a part of me, I cannot imagine leaving this world or leaving you and Nguyo. I don’t think you both would enjoy Earth either.” I said as we began to go lower toward the beach.

“Good.” Was all he said as Tetsa landed on the sandy beach below, the clan in tow. “Because I went to see the Tipani before we left. Toktor Hughs and Toktor Rina said they received a signal from your people.”

My breathing became uneven, my hands loosening on Ik’tanhì completely.

“What?”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 31

“What did you just say?” I said with a slight laugh, my hands in front of me pushing at the space between us. “A what?”

“A siknal,” Ik’tanhì said again tightening the bindings on Tetsa. “They said, it was from your Earth.”

“You said they told you before we left? When did they tell you?” I asked, trying to swallow the burn of bile in the back of my throat. “Was it today?”

Ik’tanhì shrugged continuing his work, his face not even turning to see my own.

“No, I went with Nguyo three nights ago. We needed to tell them we would not be here for winter. Why?” He said turning around to finally face me.

Placing my hand over my chest, I try to calm the nervous heaving in the center of my chest. There was a signal, someone reached out, and Ik’tanhì and Nguyo didn’t tell me. Something in my stomach gave its last squeeze before shriveling up inside of me. Watching Ik’tanhì come forward, I hesitate before taking a step back.

“Stop.” Whispering, I hold my own hand.

“Why, what’s wrong?” He asked again, approaching me, his hands on my face.

Watching the boats begin to dock in the water, I turn to see Nguyo helping my mother from her boat. I could see that they both were smiling, Nguyo’s face turning to see my own.

Watching Nguyo approach, his face loses its smile as he looks from me to Ik’tanhì back to me.

“What’s wrong?” Nguyo reached out, his hand placing itself on my back.

“Don’t touch me, either of you!” I snapped, shoving their hands away. “You both always preach about right and wrong and you think it is right to hide something so important from me? I trusted you both,” I breathed, my voice shaking as I spoke, a disgusting mix of rage and betrayal. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

It could have been my mother, it could have been any fucking body. I could have said goodbye, I could have said something.

“We wanted to protect you,” Nguyo said, stepping in between Ik’tanhì and me. His ocean-blue eyes wavered as he spoke. “The sky people could hurt you again, we wanted your safety first-”

“My safety? My safety?” I repeated, reaching my hands into my hair, Ema’ti coming beside us. “You took my choice away from me, both of you. You could have told me but you both said nothing. You held me in your arms, you kissed me, I opened my heart up to you both and you couldn’t tell me one thing because you cared for my safety? Sounds like a load of shit.” I said the last bit in English.

Looking to the side at Ema’ti, I reach out for her and she takes my hands in her own. Shooting Ik’tanhì and Nguyo a glare, both men back away and she pulls me toward her.

“Let’s go, you should calm yourself,” Ema’ti whispered, her voice like a cool spoon soothing the boiling rage within me.

As we walked away I couldn’t even bring myself to look back at Ik’tanhì and Nguyo. Reaching behind me, I pull the familiar string of pearls from my tail and throw it into the sand walking off with Ema’ti.

I’d been angry before, hell. As a child, I’d been so angry that I threw my mother’s designer purse into the toilet. Yet, nothing compared to what I felt now. It was as if Nguyo and Ik’tanhì teamed up together to wrench my heart from my chest.

If it were not for Ema’ti I might lost it in front of the clan. I guess the look on my face was more than enough because she was quick to come in and separate all of us. Yet, it wasn’t enough. Being away from them simply wasn’t enough. I tried my best to get them from my mind but I couldn’t.

For all I knew I could have been getting upset over something as small as a simple miss click but you didn’t send billion-dollar miss clicks over. Maybe this was my mother, maybe this was something important and I’d missed my chance all because Nguyo and Ik’tanhì chose to hide the truth from me. What made it worse was that Na’vi didn’t lie, they had no reason to. So they truly meant to keep me from harm.

“Fuck! Fuck fucking fuck!” I screamed, my voice muffled by the waterfall.

I’d come to a small wave pool that connected to the ocean, deciding to clean myself and try to steady my mind. The clan gathered earlier to clean but I decided to go alone. If I had seen Nguyo and Ik’tanhì I probably would have either killed them or caved and I didn’t want to do either. So for now I settled on cleaning my body with what I’d gotten from Ema’ti. The meeting of clans wasn’t just for safety but it was something close to like, bragging rights. Even the Na’vi had a sense of pride.

“Forgive me, Mother,” I grumbled as I opened the clay pot Ema’ti had given to me. Inside was a thick creamy milk made from fkxakewll. Usually, the plant left you itchy like poison ivy but the buds and seeds were repurposed to make milk. It was something harder to acquire on this side of the world and here I was greedily using it to clean my skin. However, my guilt was smothered with the intense need to show Nguyo and Ik’tanhì what they would be missing out on.

Sprinkling in what was the equivalent of Pandoran oats, I give the mixture a shake before pouring it on my skin in small portions. I didn’t want to lose it all to the small plunge pool I was in. Working the mixture into my skin, I bend over and begin to work it into my hair. The smell alone reminded me of home. Like I’d slipped into an oat milk bath, minus the candles and warm water though.

Hearing a shifting from behind me, I stop washing my skin and hair, slowly coming to a stand.

“I said, I wanted to be alone.” Scolding Nguyo or Ik’tanhì I turn around to see it is neither of them.

Instead, I saw a familiar face, yet one I couldn’t pin a name to. The stranger didn’t resemble Nguyo or anyone native to the clan and that was clear from the color of his skin. He was slightly darker than Ik’tanhì, his bengal-like stripes a rich blue. His eyes were very intense though, like hot molten cast from a bubbling crucible. It went well against his serious face like he’d purposely been crafted to look intimidating. Even though we’d stood some distance apart, it was clear to see that he towered over me in height and muscle.

“You’re the Na’vi I healed?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I don’t know why but the Na’vi’s strong staring made me somewhat self-conscious.

The Na’vi tilted his head, his inky black hair clinging to his wet skin. It was quite funny actually, to see the man reacting like a confused cat.

“Yes.” Was all he said, his deep voice like low rumbling thunder.

Standing there in silence, I loosen up some continuing to wash my body and hair with the mixture.

“Soltok.” He said, coming closer, the water drifting toward me. “My name.” He said with what looked like a weird mix between a scowl and a smile.

“I didn’t ask,” I said, beginning to rinse my skin and hair clean.

“I didn’t allow you.” He said, his body now close enough to stand in my small circle of oat milk.

Watching him carefully he takes the jar and gives it a sniff, before using the liquid to clean his own skin. The old me would have bit his head off for touching my things but I tried to not be so materialistic.

“Allow me?” I said, beginning to squeeze my hair clean of the mixture. “I didn’t think I needed permission.”

He stayed silent, placing my clay pot back down, his arm inches from my face. Unlike the rest of us, he was covered in more small bioluminescent dots.

“Forgive me.” He said, his hand going up to his chest. “My people are different.”

“There is nothing to forgive, that was a joke Soltok.” Reaching a hand out with a grin, I take a step forward. “My name is Neyswa. I’m happy to see that you healed up all right. You’re the first person I ever did that with. Not like it or anything, I meant tsaheylu. I know you were slightly unconscious and it was wrong but I didn’t want you to die. You are with us now and we will keep you safe.”

Taking my hand in his own, Soltok brings it up to his nose giving it a sniff before looking me in the eyes. Watching him lick the back of my hand, he grins and gives it a pat.

Yanking my hand away, I plunge it into the water beginning to wash it clean, my cheeks warm from the sudden shock. Maybe this guy had a death wish he wanted Nguyo and Ik’tanhì to sign.

“Now we are even.” He said, his body relaxing as he reached up to push his hair out of his face. “Do not think you are in the wrong. You saved my life.” He seemed to loosen up as he spoke.

“And licking me makes us even?” I said, bringing my new clean hand out of the water.

“Well, I could not do tsaheylu again unless you wish, Neyswa?” Taking his kuru from behind him, he holds it out between us.

“I think I’ve done more than enough sharing,” I said my body warming under the cool water.

It was odd to have someone approach me when Nguyo and Ik’tanhì weren’t around. It was almost like this young man didn’t know or didn’t care. Part of me felt guilty in relishing in the fact that someone didn’t feel pressured by their possessiveness. Knowing my luck though this was a plant sent in by Ik’tanhì to lure me into a false sense of security.

Using my hands, I begin to pour the cool water down my skin, looking up at the stranger, his hands mimicking my movements.

“Why are you mocking me?” I said, scooping more water into my hands, and flicking it at the stranger.

“I thought if I copied your actions, I could be beautiful too.” He said, looking me up and down. “I am curious as to why I have no scars.” He leaned closer, his arms on either side of my body as I leaned back against the plunge pool edge.

I’d been with the Na’vi for months now and I still had a horrible time adjusting to their lack of social spaces. Reaching a hand outward, I place it on his chest and try to push him away some when he only begins to examine my skin.

“The others, they say you died yet you are here?” He asked, raising my arm above my head to peer down along my chest and forehead. “I do not know why a kun is but it killed you?”

Bringing a knee up between us, he moves in closer, his hand reaching out to examine the skin of my chest and forehead.

“Yes, a gun killed me and yes, I did die but it’s hard to focus- explain!” I said wriggling my wrist loose. “How about we both get dressed and I will tell you whatever you want to know.”

Pushing my fingers into his forehead, he examines them one more time before nodding.

“Yes, Neyswa.” His voice rumbled through my body from how close he’d gotten.

He took a step back, allowing me a moment to gather myself and leave the water. Pulling my things from the basket I’d brought with me, I began to dress, my gaze occasionally drifting to Soltok who watched me with curious eyes. His blunt curiosity was oddly comforting.

Once I’d finished he’d followed suit, braiding most of his long black hair into a braid down his back. As for his loincloth, it was simple. No designs, no patterns. Just what looked like a bright red cut of fabric. Even though he’d been near-nude, I could make out the faint outline of a battle band on his torso, like a tan line.

Hoisting my basket into my arms, I begin to carry it when Soltok reaches out, taking the basket from me. I didn’t know why so many people did that, did I appear weak? Or was it just slowing us both down?

“Well, so what was the first thing you wanted to ask me?” I said as we walked down the beach side by side.

“Are you mated?”

Well, that was a way to dive in head first, and lucky for me, Nguyo was there not even a few meters away.

“No.”

I don’t know what was more terrifying. Soltok laughed or Nguyo’s face when his fist connected with Soltok’s jaw.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 32

It wasn’t like I wasn’t one for violence. Hell, I’d killed before and I’d come to terms with that. I could handle seeing myself being violent but watching Nguyo come to blows was frightening.

The punch he’d landed on Soltok was shocking, not just from the speed but the pure force of the swing. Just the sound of muscle connecting with skin. Soltok’s smirk quickly fell from his face, especially when he’d landed in the sand.

“Stop it!” I scream at Nguyo, only to watch Soltok regain his footing.

He swung back toward Nguyo, who dodged the attack and countered back quickly, sending another fist into the man’s chest. It was clear that Nguyo had the upper foot in this fight, every movement of his calculated and precise. It almost reminded me of Ik’tanhì when he’d been hunting.

Soltok swept a foot out, sending Nguyo stumbling before he moved forward, sending his fist into Nguyo’s chin. His attacks were different, calculated just like Nguyo’s but less powerful and slower. Like he was observing Nguyo.

Despite this, Nguyo continued his onslaught of punches, his movements smooth like he’d been gliding through water. His face was twisted in anger as every punch landed with a solid thud, each one pushing Soltok further back toward the water. The Na’vi in the clan who were still awake began to gather, some of them cheering from the fight.

“I said, stop it!” Moving forward, I feel two arms hook under my own pulling me back. Looking over my shoulder, I see Emsutsu holding me in place. “Let me go!”

“No! You could get hurt. Let the others handle this.” She said, holding me down as Nguyo forced Soltok back into the water.

If he was lethal on land I would hate to see how deadly he could be in the water. I didn’t want him to become this kind of person, and it was all my fault. Feeling my eyes begin to water, I watch Nguyo dive forward, shoving Soltok down into the water.

Watching Ik’tanhì come from the jungle, he looks around and I make eye contact with him from across the beach.

“Ik’tanhì, help!” Screaming for him in English, I nod toward the fight. “He will kill him!”

Ik’tanhì follows my gaze, his eyes widening as he sees Nguyo and Soltok wrestling in the water, Nguyo’s fist slamming into Soltok’s face over and over, turning the clear water red with Soltok’s blood.

Without another word, he sprints toward the shoreline, shouting for another to help him. Watching someone from the back of the crowd come forward they move in with Ik’tanhì attempting to throw the two apart.

“Let me go Emsutsu, let me help,” I said, trying to pry myself from her grip. It felt horrible to be powerless.

Shaking her head, she tightens her grip around me. "No, Neyswa. They won't listen right now. We need to wait until they've calmed down," Emsutsu insisted, her voice full of worry.

Seeing Ik’tanhì manage to pry the two apart, he looks Nguyo over before pulling him away. As for Soltok, he sat up in the water, spitting a mouthful of blood into the ocean.

Being dragged away, I kick in Emsutsu’s arms and I growl at her, my sadness turning into anger.

“Let me go! Now!” Locking my leg behind her own I ball my hand into a fist and slam it back into her crotch.

Being dropped down, onto the ground, I kick backward sending my foot into her stomach and chest. Watching her stumble backward, I turn around and brandish my knife. Baring my teeth, I hold the blade between the two of us.

"Don’t come any closer, Emsutsu," I warned, the cool metal of the blade glinting under the moonlight. "I need to make sure they're okay."

Standing there in surprise, she frowns but nods rubbing her stomach.

Breezing through the crowd, I go toward Nguyo and Ik’tanhì who sit in the water, Ik’tanhì looking over Nguyo and his wounds. Coming toward him in the water, I reach out toward him turning his face from side to side. The hold on him that Ik’tanhì had dropped as I looked his wounds over.

“Are you stupid, Nguyo te Äzansiyu Swaynivi’itan?” Smacking the side of his head softly, I brush a finger along the fresh cut under his eye. “Why would you fight him? Why would you hurt yourself?”

“If defending you is stupid, then yes.” He said, winching as I moved a hand down his torso.

“If it helps brother, you are the obvious winner,” Ik’tanhì said with a smile.

"But winning a pointless fight doesn't make you right," I retorted, my anger flaring. "You both need to understand that my decisions are mine to make.”

“So was my decision to fight. I tried to keep my calm but I couldn’t. I could smell you on his skin, and the way he looked at you. All I could feel was anger.” Nguyo spoke honestly, reaching out to hold my hand. “He can not have what is mine.”

“You don’t own me, Nguyo! No one owns me,” I retorted, taking his hand in closer. “You should know this best of all people.”

“I don’t own you, but your heart, your spirit, from the bottom of your feet to the very ends of your hair, it is mine. I would fight every man who approached you.” He was firm as he spoke, his eyes on mine.

Surprised by his sudden possessiveness, I sigh and pat the back of his hand. It was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to get through to him while he was angry.

Leaning forward, I sniffle and press my mouth to his own. My sweet poor Nguyo.

“Ik’tanhì, please take him to clean, I will join you both soon.” Turning toward Ik’tanhì I lean forward to give him a kiss when he dives in, pressing his mouth to mine.

Parting from the two, I turn around and go over to Soltok who’d been getting looked over by someone else from the clan. Squatting beside him, I hold a hand out.

“Come with me, I will patch you up,” I said, securing my hand in his.

“What, no kiss for me?” He said, wiping the blood from his nose.

“You’ll get one too if you listen,” I say through gritted teeth. “Now come and stand.”

Standing, Soltok leans heavily on me, his body like a weight on top of my own. Wrapping my arm around his waist I begin to walk him down the beach trying to support the limp he was sporting.

“I am sorry he attacked you, I didn’t think that would happen.” Carrying him toward the maruis, I am careful to widen my steps to aid him. “He is never violent, I will make him apologize,” I said, bringing Soltok to the high-hanging maruis. “Come, get on my back I can take us both to the top.”

Without giving him a chance to debate, I crouch down, allowing him to wrap his arms around my neck. With a grunt, I rise, his weight heavy on my back. I wonder if this is how the men felt carrying me around. It didn’t help that Soltok was a wall of muscle and height compared to me.

“I am sure he is a kind person. I would get upset too if the woman I wanted to mate held another so close.” He held onto me tighter, his legs like a thick snake around my waist.

Bringing us both to my marui, I step inside with Soltok on my back. Falling to my knees with him still on me, I wheeze and shrug my shoulders.

“You can get off me now,” I said, reaching a hand behind me to pry him off my body.

"But I'm quite comfortable here," Soltok replied, his voice laced with a playful, flirtatious tone. "Are you sure you want me to move?"

“Do you want me to call Nguyo?” I said as he got off my back. The back of my loincloth had ridden up, causing my cheeks to fill with warmth.

“I think I could take him this time.” He said, wincing as he sprawled across the ground.

“I wouldn’t take the risk.” Coming forward, I touch the side of his ribcage which has already begun to bruise. “Let me take you over.”

He was covered in cuts, his lip busted open and one of his eyes sealed shut. His chest and torso were bruised, already turning a deep indigo shade. Even his ankle seemed swollen. If the fight went on any longer I wonder if Nguyo would have killed him.

“I am sorry,” I said again, turning around to grab my medicine pouch. “I tried to step in sooner to help but I was held back.”

Turning around, I pull a small sprig of what looks like mint from my medicine bag. Holding it above his mouth, I watch him take it down chewing on it.

“Would it not be faster to bond?” He said, licking his lips. “We have done it before, I will only be awake this time.”

“And risk my life or yours?” Holding a hand in front of his mouth, he spits out the leaf and I take the remainder and toss it out the window. “Plus, I am not sure how to control it.”

“I trust you, I think you need to trust yourself.” He said, looking up to the top of the marui. “It is a bond but it works like riding a Pa'li.” Winching, he sits up and leans back against the wall, his dark orange eyes on my own.

“I have never ridden a pa’li. I have only bonded with an ilu, my tsurak, my spirit sister, and you.” Reaching behind me, I pull my kuru forward for him to see.

“You need to learn control.” He said, closing his eyes for a moment. “Let me help you.” With his good arm, he reached around pulling his kuru out for me. “I won’t hurt you, you know this.”

“I know you wouldn’t but it’s a bit, intimate is it not?” I asked.

He laughed softly, wincing a bit at the pain. "We've bonded once. It can't get more intimate than that," he reminded me, his gaze softening.

“I don’t intend for it to be intimate.” I huff, coming closer to take his kuru in my hand.

It would be nice to learn to hone my skills some. If I learned to control it I could not only help myself but aid others. I could give back everything my father took, I could make things right for once. Plus, I kinda owed Soltok one for taking a beating for me.

“I can try,” I said, coming closer to him.

Holding our kurus close together, I inhale deeply trying to steady my breathing. Bringing them together, I watch the pink and violet tendrils snake together and I shiver as I feel myself becoming one with Soltok, this time it was less painful but it still felt like I’d been hit by a truck.

Watching him flinch, he clutches his hand closed and looks into my eyes. It was oddly intimate like he’d been looking at me differently the whole time.

“Focus on healing, focus on me. Yet, less intense. It feels like you’re trying to focus everything you have on controlling me. I am not an ilu, Neyswa. You need to focus, find your center.” He said, holding a hand out toward me.

His knuckles met my skin, just enough to cause a shiver to run down my spine. It felt comforting to feel the cool of his hands against the boiling heat that began to build under my skin.

“I can focus,” I said, clasping my eyes shut, his fingers still lingering above my heart.

That overwhelming heat inside of me was like a pot overflowing, my body being the vessel that held the pot. The last time I’d bonded with him I’d poured all myself into him and then dragged my spirit back which felt tiring. It made sense why one couldn’t transfer their spirit and memories into their avatar alone.

“Think only of me.” He spoke softer this time, his hand traveling lower. “Focus.”

Feeling my spirit calm down, I tug at myself, allowing just a bit of energy to pass from my body into his own. It was oddly soothing to heal him and feel myself being healed, like that string of energy inside the both of us was mending his wounds. Pouring more of my spirit into the healing, I reached out and leaned against Soltok who was not panting. No one said it would be painless.

"You're doing well, Neyswa," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

He was right, I could feel myself healing the last of his wound when he pulled me in closer, his arms wrapping around my body. It wasn’t your typical thank you level hug either, I could tell from the way his heart raced, from the way he buried his face into my neck, his breathing paced as he touched my skin.

“What?” I asked, pulling back only to be pulled forward, Soltok’s lips brushing across mine.

In an unexpected move, Soltok suddenly leaned in, capturing my lips with his in a passionate kiss. His grip tightened around me, pulling me even closer as he deepened the kiss. I could feel the urgency and longing in his actions, but I couldn't respond in kind. I remained still, my lips unresponsive to his fervor. I however couldn’t deny the warmth that made my knees weak, the feeling of being touched and closer than ever to someone else almost intoxicating.

“Soltok, no,” I whispered, quickly unlinking my kuru from his own.

Staring up at the panting young Na’vi I move off his lap and shake my head. All the heat I’d felt until now simmered away into nothing like all the tension and affection was his own. I hoped it was at least. The last thing I needed was a harem.

“You are right, forgive me I was not myself.” He cleared his throat as he spoke, stretching his arms. “I feel sore some but I am healed.” He said, touching his face and torso.

“And I didn’t pass out. I just feel a little worn out.” I said with a chuckle, standing up from the ground. “While I would love to stay and discuss more with you, I need to go check in on Nguyo. I need to make sure he doesn’t think we are doing other things.”

“Why would he think that?” He said with a chuckle.

”Because he already hates you. I would rather make sure he is okay. I know I said he is not my mate but that doesn’t mean I don’t intend on accepting him when he asks. Now, please see yourself out of the marui when you please. I may be gone for long.” I said, not waiting for his reply.

I needed to make distance and quick. The last thing I needed was Soltok coming to try and explain what he tried to do or what he wanted to do. Nguyo already knocked the rings out of him, I didn’t need Ik’tanhì to turn him into a new coat.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 33

So many cowards lived on in history. Francesco Schettino, Marc Anthony, hell even Horatio Gates. However, I felt like the biggest coward as I moved toward Nguyo and Ik’tanhì’s shared marui. For Ema’ti and I’s earlier interests they’d been placed as far from me as possible, leaving them to their own. My marui was beside Ema’ti, closer to my mother for both of our safeties. Now, I felt like the distance was to keep Soltok safe. I’d been watching from where I was and he’d not moved an inch out of my marui. He’d instead seemed to be watching where I was going, giving me the occasional smile.

He really didn’t value his life, did he? I could only imagine what Nguyo was going to do, let alone Ik’tanhì.

“Ma Neyswa?” Ik’tanhì said, coming up from behind me, his mouth instantly finding my cheek in the darkness. “You should be resting.” He spoke softly, his lips on my shoulder next.

“I said I would come to find you and Nguyo later.” Frowning, I reach out for him to hold me and he naturally drifts into my arms.

I could feel my eyes welling with warm tears as he held me, the feeling of his embrace comforting.

“Nguyo is asleep, yawntu,” Ik’tanhì whispered, his hand caressing my back. “He wishes to calm down.”

“Are you awake to watch over him?” I asked, looking up at him, warm tears spilling down my cheeks. I felt like all I did these past few days was cry.

“No, Nguyo will be fine. I could not sleep knowing you were alone. I need you by my side, always. Come with me.” He took my hand in his and began to walk me down the beach.

His assurance was like a balm to my frayed nerves. I allowed him to lead me, trusting in his words and in his presence, as we walked together in the quiet night.

“I am surprised you are handling things so calmly,” I said, comfortably walking hand in hand with Ik’tanhì. It was rare that we got moments just to ourselves these days.

“You think I am calm?” He asked, his voice soft as he spoke.

“Well, you seem calm at least. Usually, you are threatening to kill something.” Deepening my voice to mock him, he chuckles and pushes my cheeks inward, forcing my lips to pucker.

“I am only calm because seeing you cry is hard to watch. To know I can defend my mate with my hands but not my words? It is something I am not made for.” He said, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips.

“I think you’re doing perfect, ‘Tanhì. Whenever I feel like I am losing myself, you make me feel grounded.” Coming toward the forest’s edge, I take a seat on a large glowing root.

Watching him reach upward to a branch above, he pulls off a small flower, gently tucking it into my hair. Taking a seat beside me, he smiles looking up toward the sky before looking down at me, his orange eyes intense as he looked me up and down.

“And I thought you grew tired of me. Sharing you with others is something I have come to terms with but it does not make it any easier.” He spoke honestly, his fingers pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Grow tired of you?” Moving his hand, away from my hair I place it on my chest where my heart is pounding beneath my skin.

He’d touched my body before, he’d held me and he knew the beat of my heart, but something in me wanted to show him more. I couldn’t show him how much I cared him the Na’vi way, it was not the time but I could show him my way.

Coming in front of him, I squat, keeping his hand over my heart.

“To me, you’re not just a warrior or someone to mate with. You may have not intended to but you saved my life from that thanator. Yes, you tried to end it too but I can’t seem to accept my death.” I said, with a smile, moving closer to my forehead now resting against his. “You didn’t have to listen to the Tsahìk, there are numerous times when I could have gotten myself killed but you didn’t let that happen. You put up with me when others would have cast me aside. You shared your home with me, you shared your nivi with me. You opened up your heart to me and you accepted me when I was a sickly little human. You learned of the horrors my father did and you forgave me, you came back for me. You are kind, headstrong, passionate, and so much more. I died in my last life and I chose you then and even in this new life, I choose you now. I will always choose you Ik’tanhì, I love you, I see you.” My hand squeezed his, as I spoke, my gaze locked on his own.

Ik’tanhì was never a man of many words but now he is completely silent. It felt as if you could hear the dew drops falling from leaf to leaf as he looked into my eyes. All the warmth that was in his eyes seemed to seep down onto his stoic face.

“Nga yawne lu oer.” He said, his forehead pressing into my own. “Does that mean I can kill Soltok now?” He asked with a chuckle.

Rolling my eyes, I stand above Ik’tanhì crossing my arms. He looked handsome above me but he looked even more beautiful beneath me. It made my mind run rampant.

“Who says they love someone and then asks to murder someone,” I said, reaching out to pinch the tip of his ear.

“He kissed you, he’s lucky he can walk,” Ik’tanhì said with gritted teeth.

Raising an eyebrow, I lean down so I can in front of his face. “How do you know that? Do I smell like him again or something?”

“You think I would let my mate be alone with another? Never again. The last time I left you alone I came back to see that your evil father killed you.” He said with a slight tinge of annoyance in his voice.

“So you like to watch me, Ik’tanhì?” I ask, my face dangerously close to his own. “Should I be worried?” I said, my lips brushing against his own.

Ik’tanhì’s eyes flickered with a dangerous glint, his gaze almost predatory as he looked me up and down. Standing from the root he sat on, he pulled me closer, his hands resting on my hips.

“You’re mine, you should never worry, Ma Neyswa.” He growled, before crashing his lips into my own.

Unlike before there were gentle touches, just passion in his kiss. His tongue pushed into my mouth, exploring every surface with equal vigor. It was impressive just how fast he adapted to the human customs of French kisses.

Pulling away, he holds eye contact, his lips moving down my body. I couldn’t say the same for myself, the moment his mouth met my neck, I couldn’t help but groan, throwing my head to the side to give him more space.

“Wait,” I said, pulling away from him. “We should go to the marui.”

“The maruis? For what I will do to you, your screams will awake the clan.” Placing his hands under my bottom, Ik’tanhì hoists me into the air. “If I didn’t think you’d scream, I would walk you there inside of you already. Let me bring you to the waters.” He said burying his face into my breasts as he began to take me deeper into the jungle.

As we went deeper into the jungle, the silence was interrupted only by the rustling of leaves and the occasional hoot of what I only hoped were peaceful creatures. Ik’tanhì’s movements were quick and fluid, making me feel like I weighed nothing. Part of me wished he’d just put me down on the ground and scramble my guts but I wanted to be patient. It was rare that I got a quiet moment alone with him so I would cherish it.

Reaching around to Ik’tanhì’s kuru, I gently run it through my fingers, my eyes on his own. Pulling my own kuru around, I teasingly brush the ends together, my body running warm.

Seeing his gaze flicker toward mine, he turns and pins my body to a tree. “Fuck the waters.” Snarling, he bites down on my shoulder, his crotch pressing against my own.

Slipping his kuru from my hands, I watch the end splay open. Holding my own kuru out, I watch the tendrils come forward connecting with Ik’tanhì’s.

It was nothing like when I’d connected to Soltok. My whole body felt like it was immediately placed on edge. I felt like I could feel every inch of Ik’tanhì and myself. Reaching down, I slip my hand down his body, my fingers tracing the muscle along his toned body. Reaching down to my loin cloth, I tried to take it off when Ik’tanhì pushed my hand away, using his one free hand to tear it from my body.

“’Tanhì!” Scolding him, he chuckles and slips down my body, his tongue coming out every few seconds to lick my skin.

Arching off the tree, I watch him kneel before me and I place my leg over his shoulder. Wasting no time, he slips his tongue against the surface of my pussy. His thick warm tongue pushed between my pussy lips, sliding against my throbbing clit. As he pushed into my clit with his tongue, I couldn’t help but whimper, my hands grasping his braids.

Relaxing against his mouth, I sit lean forward, putting some of my weight on his face.

“Stop teasing me, sit.” He says through hungry licks.

“But you won’t be able to breathe,” I said, my cheeks flushing with warmth only to watch him pull away, his chin covered in my wetness.

“Then my death will be welcomed.” He stood, the tent in his loincloth evident as he turned me around, my body no longer facing his. Pushing down my lower spine, he bends me over and I yelp gripping my knees. “Now come here.”

Pulling my body backward, he sits my ass on his face, his tongue licking sweet circles around my soaked slit. Pushing his tongue inside of me, he keeps me steady while eating me from end to end. His mouth was hot and wet inside and against my pussy, his tongue working in a steady rhythm that had my hips bucking against his face. Each stroke against my walls had me gasping for breath, my heart pounding against my ribcage. It felt like the tight coil in my stomach began to burn bright, coiling up deeper and deeper within my gut.

“If you keep up, I’m going to come on your face.” I yelped as he sunk his teeth into my ass cheek.

His biting sent a jolt of pleasure through my body, the pain cutting through my thoughts. Nursing the bite with his tongue, I feel him smile against my ass. The heat of his mouth and the sharpness of his teeth made every nerve in my body sing with anticipation and desire.

Feeling him push his fingers into my cunt, I scream and steady myself as I topple over, my body splayed on his legs as he laughs at me.

“You look so pretty.” He said, curling his fingers inside of me, pushing up into my inner walls.

I felt like putty again, like warm melting putty. Here I was bent over in front of Ik’tanhì, my face in the grass as he shoved his long fingers deeper and deeper into my pussy. I was splayed for him, open and exposed over his legs which I could barely keep a grip on. Looking back at him, I reach a weak handout, my fingers trembling.

“Use your words, Neyswa.” He said, quickening his in and out pace, his fingers squelching from the cum soaking his fingers.

“Shut up,” I said, only to be met with another finger pushing into my cunt.

“Make me.” He replied, pulling his fingers out one by one.

Squeezing him tighter, I pinch my eyes closed to keep them from rolling to the back of my skull. Ik’tanhì was merciless as he worked my most sensitive spots over and over again, his fingers and mouth doing more for me than anyone else had ever done. The coil in my stomach tightened unbearably before snapping, sending an intense wave of pleasure over my body as I came for him. My body convulsed with the strength of my orgasm, my whimpering echoing in the quiet night as I held onto Ik’tanhì for support. I could feel my pussy clenching around his fingers, my body shaking with aftershocks as I rode out the waves of my climax. My mouth began to water, as he pulled his fingers, one by one. Looking back at him, I watch him move his loincloth to the side, sliding his three fingers over his cock. It was hypnotizing to watch him lubricate his thick blue cock with my own cum.

“Wait, let me help,” I said, barely able to turn toward him.

Scooting forward on his legs, I let the warm saliva from my tongue spill over the head of his cock. Watching my drool run down the side, it slips over his hairless balls, his sac heavy from little usage.

“Neyswa,” He seemed to warn, his hand moving over his lower stomach.

Leaning down, I kiss the head of his cock licking at the small beads of precum that spill from the tip.

“You said, make you.” Slipping my tongue on the underside of his cock, I lick where the head of his cock and his shaft meet, making sure I push my tongue down as I do so.

Hearing him grunt, he reaches down, grabbing a fist full of my hair. Giggling happily, I hold his balls in one hand while I wrap the other around the base of his shaft. Licking down until I’m at his balls, I gently suck on the surface skin, my free hand now beginning to stroke Ik’tanhì up and down. Looking up into his eyes, I smile at the intense glare he is giving me. As if I were doing something naughty enough to gain his ire.

“I like when you look at me like you hate me,” I said, licking up to the head of his cock.

Making sure to tease him like he’d done to me, I only take his head in my mouth, licking around the tip in sweet tortuous circles. His precum was salty in my mouth but I liked the taste, I wanted more.

Moving down further, he hisses and bucks up into my mouth, his grip on my hair tightening as he pushes my head down more. I could barely breathe now, his cock stuffing my mouth and cheeks. If he was any thicker I might have not been able to fit him this far down. Pulling off his cock with a satisfying pop, I lick my lips and inhale deeply, my eyes watering from the lack of air I was getting.

“Breathe, for me Neyswa.” He said, before pushing my face back down.

Sliding his cock deeper down my throat, I wince when I feel his cock brush against the back of my throat. Pushing further, I gag when I feel my nose touch his torso, his cock buried down my throat. His head lulled back against the tree as he began to whimper, my name on his lips like a prayer. Feeling tears run down my cheeks from how the lack of air, I moan when I feel him pulsing in my throat. Grasping my head, he holds me steady, thrusting himself into my throat. His movements were rough, and his balls pushed against my face. Looking up at him through my eyelashes, he swears before trying to pull out of my throat. Moaning on his cock, he cries out, and I feel his cum shoot down my throat, his cock pumping hot salty cum with each thrust of his hips.

Pulling off his cock, I blink away my tears and look down at his cock, the cum dribbling from the tip still. Wiping my own drool from my chin and cheeks, I grin at Ik’tanhì and he sits there spent.

“You will be the death of me.” Reaching down to his cock, he slowly begins to stroke himself, dragging his hand from the tip to the base. “Make up for it.”

Moving forward, I reach out for his shoulders when he moves my hands.

“I said make up for it.” Reaching down to my ankles, he pulls my body forward and flips me onto my back. Resting my legs over his shoulders, he slides his hands down my legs.

Pressing kisses to my legs, he purrs against my body, slipping his cock between my thighs. Stroking himself with my thighs, he reaches a hand downward, positioning his cock head in front of my slit. Reaching down I spread my pussy lips for him and I watch as he pushes in head first, both of us feeling the connection of our kurus. Pushing himself in further I hiss and arch off the ground when he presses his hand to my lower stomach, going in further. Every push filled me with a new wave of warmth and a sense of fullness. His movements were deliberately slow which made my breathing hitch. Every second felt more intimate, making my heart flutter and my skin tingle. It was comforting and exciting like we were becoming one being. The feeling of him inside me was indescribable like our bodies were in perfect harmony as he pushed himself into the hilt.

Moving in rhythm with him, I move my legs around him and he pulls me on top of his lap, his arms wrapping around my body. Sitting on top of his lap, I hold his shoulders now bouncing up and down on him. Both of our bodies were coated in a light layer of sweat, the smell of our bodies mingling into one.

“I love you,” I said, pressing my lips to Ik’tanhì’s. I was never one for sweet talk during sex but It was true, I loved him with every fiber of my being.

It felt so good to have him inside me. Feeling myself stretched over every inch of him was otherworldly. It was like I could feel myself through him as well. His balls slammed against my pussy, his hands slipping around to hold my breasts.

“You’re my beloved.” He said, standing up with me in his arms, his cock buried inside of me. “You’re mine Neyswa, tell me you’re mine.”

He held my back against the tree beside us, slamming inside of me. His pace was unyielding, his powerful thrusts making me pant and moan in pleasure. Each thrust sent my legs into a shaking mess.

“I’m yours, Ik’tanhì, always yours.” I whimper, clinging onto him as he pushed himself deeper, his cock head hitting my cervix.

It hurt but it was nothing compared to the pleasure I felt.

Feeling that familiar winding build up in my lower stomach again, I turn toward Ik’tanhì and lean forward for a kiss, his mouth pushing into mine. His thrusting became rougher, his fingers digging into my body. Pulling out of me almost fully he slams back inside, over and over. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t remember my own name as he held me on himself.

Feeling the building in my lower stomach intensify, I scream as I tremble on the end of his cock, my walls squeezing down on his thick cock.

“Fuck, Neyswa.” He said, his own legs trembling as he leaned his weight into me, his balls tensing as his cock begins to pulse inside of me. Pulling him as close as possible, I feel him push into me one more time before I feel his cum spilling inside of me.

Panting against his body, I reach up to his cheeks and give him a solid kiss on the lips.

“Fuck, Neyswa indeed,” I said with a giggle, only to be met with a gentle bite to my lower lip.

“Come, let me clean you, my mate.” He said, carrying me off into the jungle back toward the waters I’d been in not too long ago.

It felt nice to finally be complete.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 34

“You look so handsome,” I said to Nguyo, gently running plant oil through his hair. My fingers were careful with each braid on his head.

He looked like a true leader, someone carved from pale blue marble and painted beautifully. He looked like a real leader for our people. Instead of just wearing his usual leather loincloth and the special garment he’d gotten from his iknimaya, he wore a ceremonial cape, the material itself covered in bright feathers and colorful rope. Around his neck, he had fashioned himself a mantle made of akula teeth and shell. His arm had grown too large for the shell armband he’d usually worn so he wore a new one fashioned of shell from Yula’vo’s top, netting from his marui, and a few of my hairbeads. Even just sat in front of me, I felt like I stood before a king.

Today was the day we’d finally get together with the other clans. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous today. I’d already woke up to Nguyo and Ik’tanhì whispering to each other, Nguyo’s face twisted in annoyance. He’d been angry when he learned about Soltok’s actions but promised to be on his best behavior.

“I would look more handsome inside of you.” He said, leaning forward to place a kiss on my stomach. “Ik’tanhì has come like a thief while I slept.” Rubbing his hands up and down my sides he pouts. “I will have to make up for lost time.”

“You will have more than enough time, I need my future leader to be on all ten toes… well, all eight.” Slipping my hands down to his cheeks, I smile. “And you worry about Ik’tanhì? I will need to pry the mateless women off of you today. You’ve never seen me jealous. If anyone touches you I may also have to come to blows.”

Raising my fists up, I gently poke my fists against Nguyo’s nose and he nips at my skin.

Nguyo chuckles at my threat, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Oh, is that a challenge, beloved?” He teases, his hands tracing down to my waist.

With a swift, effortless motion, he lifts me up in his strong arms, causing me to squeal in excitement.

“Then let’s see who’s stronger.” He says, grinning widely as he holds me high above his head, his muscles flexing impressively with minimal effort.

His gaze was warm and full of affection and I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter. There was something about Nguyo that always made me feel safe, and not just how pretty he was.

“Why is my mate dangling in the air?” Ik’tanhì said, walking into marui looking just as lovely.

He didn’t seem to be wearing his Tipani attire, instead, he dressed like a member of our clan. He’d shaved down the sides of his head, leaving hair down the middle in a collection of beautiful braids. In his beads, he’d woven small ring-like shells, the varying shades of blue and grey suiting his skin well. He wore a beautiful garment that linked around his neck and waist, drawing beautiful pieces of obsidian beads from his navel to his collarbone in a straight line. Around his ankle and arms, he wore similar bands, giving him the illusion of glinting in the sunlight.

Coming toward us, he runs a hand down my spine as Nguyo sets me down on the ground.

“Because I need to shake her free of your seed,” Nguyo said, playfully snarling at Ik’tanhì.

Ik’tanhì laughs, his hand coming to rest on the small of my back. “Be careful with her, she is loud.” He said the innuendo, his fingers slipping over the round of my bottom.

"I am well aware," Nguyo retorts with a grin, his hand coming to rest on my hip.

“While I would love to hear you both discuss my sexual life in front of me. I need to go to my mother.” I said, slipping both their hands off me. “You’re both like wild animals. Use that energy for later.”

Walking out of the marui, I hear both of them speaking to one another leaving me to walk across the beach. I’d been up helping everyone in the clan get ready, except for myself. Even Ema’ti looked beautiful, her top made of long gorgeous pearls, the same pearls holding her hair up on her head. She was so beautiful, it made me wonder what she looked like in her heyday.

Heading off to my own marui, I see Soltok standing at the entrance, his arms crossed as he leans back against the wall. He looked like he’d been dressed up as well his outfit close to Ik’tanhì’s but instead of obsidian beads, he had shells and pieces of worn-down sea glass. They hung down his body like a waterfall. It didn’t match his hair which had been bound back in a braid, a few pieces of hair left to frame his face. He looked handsome yet, uncomfortable.

Walking past him, I give him a brief nod before heading into my marui.

“Neyswa, you didn’t return last night.” He turned to enter but I stopped, holding a hand out between us.

"I was busy," I said, avoiding his gaze. "I had preparations to make for today's gathering. I trust you understand." With a curt nod, I nod for him to go away. “I don’t want any more sneak kisses if that’s why you’re bothering me.”

“Bothering you? You wound me.” His hand went over his heart as he came closer. “Forgive me for kissing you without your say. I am sorry.” He said, moving down onto one of his knees.

“I don’t need you to apologize, I need you to give me the space I need right now. Talking to me alone is risky for you.” Beginning to unlace the top of my garment, I see him not moving from the marui entrance.

“Risky for you or risky for your mates?” He asked, looking me up and down.

“Risky for you. As I said, Soltok.” Looking toward him, I take off my top and gently place it down in a woven basket. “Were you the type of child to take others kills when hunting?”

“I was the type of child to take what I wanted, yes.” He spoke honestly, his eyes tracing over every move I made. “Do you see yourself as a hunt?”

“I see myself as someone with two very angry mates who want you to keep your space.” Reaching under my loincloth, I tug down my inner underwear and discard them on the ground.

“Two mates? One more will not hurt.” He said, shifting from foot to foot as I dropped my loincloth to the ground.

“Three mates? Lucky me.” I said, Squatting down to the ground, dragging forward a woven basket Yula’vo had made for me. “Just, allow me to change on my own and I will speak to you,” I said, looking over to Soltok who eyed my tail.

“Fine, but remember, you promised,” Soltok said, finally moving away from the entrance. I watched him go, allowing myself a moment of peace before I began to ready myself for the meeting with the other clans.

It took long hours of pleading with Ema’ti to allow her to let me make my ceremonial attire. She was worried I’d make something too human for her tastes. It took hours of compromise and work but I’d finally managed to soften her up enough to agree. She’d even taken the time to help me make the headpiece I’d wear. It was nothing to scoff at either. We’d spent hours picking up molted lortsyal wings, carefully manipulating the shimmering wings into the shape of curling waves. Each wing was brushed in a thin layer of clear amber to keep it from folding underwater. The leftover molted wings were used to fashion a necklace that resembled the lortsyal.

From there the rest of my attire was my choice, which left me feeling a little homesick. Gathering the material was easy but bringing the dress to life left me feeling somewhat hollow. I didn’t have many fond memories of my time with my mother back on Earth but I missed going dress shopping with her or modeling the clothes she’d made for me. At the time I didn’t care much because all her efforts felt like nothing when she chose to drink away the only person who cared for her. Now, I wish I could go back in time and get anything she’d wanted to make. Anything to help me not forget how her face looked or how she smiled.

The dress was quite beautiful though. To match the blue of my necklace and headpiece, we’d used thick strong blue leaves from something that resembled a palm tree. When the upper layer of the leaves was scrapped off, it made a translucent material, something similar to gossamer. The dress itself was one long shaft of shimmering blue that wrapped around the back of my neck and flowed down my chest, barely covering my breasts. To keep the dress from just falling off my body it was bound around my waist with a belt fashioned of sinew and blue sea glass beads. The rest of the cloth draped over my privates, my legs exposed to the elements. Even my tail was wrapped in the same material, the small blue sea glass beads shimmering in the light like tiny disco balls. It felt a little breezy to have my backside so open to the world but the pseudo-thong I was wearing was good enough. When I first wore everything for Ema’ti she said I looked like a chandelier fish.

Giving myself a once over, I exit the marui praying Soltok has left, only to see him standing there, his back toward me. In his hands, he held something akin to a lily, its petals a deep orange color, the inner parts a vibrant yellow. It reminded me of his eyes.

Walking toward him, I gently pluck the flowers from his hand, giving it a gentle twirl. “Since when does Soltok collect flowers?”

Looking down over the beach, I catch him staring down at Emsutsu, his eyes following her playful movement with Nguyo. It felt nice to watch him enjoy himself, not having to worry about anything that might come along to attack or cause issues.

Looking down at the flower I give it a small sniff, the smell of warm cinnamon filling my nostrils. I expected something sweet and floral, so this was just odd.

“You do know if you wish to gift Emsutsu a flower, I could help you?” Holding the flower out, I give it a small wave and he stops me, gently easing the flower from my hand.

“This is not for her, my flower.” He said, tucking the flower into the bun I’d placed in my half-up half-down hairdo. “Last night when you’d not returned to your marui I went out looking for you and found this by the bottom of the mountains. I thought you might like it.”

“Well, it is pretty. I don’t think you value your life,” I say, gently adjusting the flower in my hair.

Heading down toward the beach, I hear Soltok following behind closely. His fingers occasionally touched my lower spine causing chills to run down my back. It wasn’t enough touch to cause a scene over though, knowing the man he probably did so to ensure that I wouldn’t fall. Part of me felt guilty for having brushed him off as much as I did. I’d never asked him about his own life if I was the first person he’d ever bonded with. He wasn’t like me, he wasn’t isolated because he was a human. He was isolated because he was new. Who knew, maybe bonding with him twice did more than heal him. Maybe our bond left him with some lingering feelings.

“A punch I can handle.” He said, tracing his finger along the curve of my spine. “Rejection? Never.” He said with pride, as we slowly began to approach Tetsa and Ik’tanhì. I made sure to direct us away from Nguyo’s path for his safety.

Nguyo was no longer playing games with Emsutsu, now he stood there arms crossed with a scowl. His careful eyes looked over the both of us, his face knit with annoyance. His gaze shifted behind me, looking at what I could only assume was Ik’tanhì from how silent it was.

“Soltok, you are on my mate more than I, it seems,” Ik’tanhì said, snaking his hand around my waist to draw me back toward him. “You should go sit with the other unmated males.”

“And leave the tsakarem alone? Never.” Soltok took a step forward, gently touching Tetsa’s beautiful skin. “I would not risk losing her.”

Watching the two speak was like watching two bulls click horns, testing the other. I was sure that at this point Ik’tanhì would not spit on Soltok, even if he were on fire. Soltok kept to himself though but something in his gaze made it clear he was fine with poking the bear.

“Thank you, for your concern,” I said, cutting through the uncomfortable silence. “I think you should return to your boat. We will be leaving soon.” I needed peace this morning.

Turning toward me, his eyes soften and he nods leaving us without a word.

“Kalweyaveng,” Ik’tanhì said, aiding me in mounting Tetsa. “I tire of his games.”

It was like being pulled through a ringer. An agitated Ik’tanhì, a weary Nguyo, and a handsy Soltok. If we were all to live together forever I think I’d need to do literal magic to get them to work together. The last thing I needed was for us to return home with three of them at odds. We needed all the hands we could get to make up for the massacre the RDA did. Maybe if I offered my ass on a platter they’d shut up and place nice. It felt nice to be desired but horrible to be wanted like a prize just because someone thought I was pretty. I wanted to be desired because I was me and I knew Ik’tanhì and Nguyo felt that way. Soltok, just saw the outer me.

“It’s a shame the three of you can’t play nice. Back on earth, you might have been a boy band, able to knock off the socks of all women.” Wrapping my arms around Ik’tanhì’s waist I give it a small squeeze, before pulling myself in closer.

“Poy pant and socks?” Ik’tanhì says, reigning Tetsa off the ground. “I can not play nice if I don’t want to play.”

“Not even for me?” Pressing my lips to his back, I relax against his warm skin. His body was like a furnace.

“Maybe.” He said with a huff, bringing us above the ocean’s waters. This was going to be a long trip.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 35

Earth has seven wonders of the world. Some I’d never seen in person because they’d lost the battle against time. However, none of them held a candle to what I saw before me.

“We are here, ma Neyswa, Eywasey,” Ik’tanhì said, bringing Tetsa lower so we could see the large set of islands.

Hm, Eywa’s cup? I could see why it was called that now that I looked down at the cluster of islands. From what I could see, three smaller islands all sat in a triangle around a much larger island, a large mountain in the center with what looked like a large pool of water at the top. I was more amazed by the fact that each smaller island had massive stone arches connecting it to the larger island, some of the arches missing huge chunks but still sitting in the air. Around the arches you could see the broken-off chunks now hovered in the air, many of them covered in moss.

“Are we sure those arches aren’t going to fall on us?” I asked, my grip on Ik’tanhì tightening. The last thing I needed was to die from a large rock falling on me.

“No, they are stable. Would you like to help me test the stability?” He asked, nodding toward the closest arch. “I don’t think your screams will be heard from that height.”

“Have some self-control,” I said, slipping one hand between his legs. “What would the clan think,” I said, bringing my hand beneath his loincloth, to gently stroke the skin above his crotch.

He gave a soft groan, his grip on Tetsa’s reins tightening slightly. "They would probably think that one of their precious warriors needs to work on his self-control," he replied, a teasing smile on his face.

Before I had the luxury of replying, Ik’tanhì began to pilot us toward the ground, the ocean getting closer and closer by the second. Allowing Tetsa to skim across the surface, he sends a spray of water behind us, the water nearly drenching the boat Soltok was in.

“That was on purpose, wasn’t it?” I said as Tetsa began to slow down as we came closer to the shore.

"Perhaps," Ik'tanhì admitted, his response brief and matter-of-fact as was his way of speaking.

Guiding Tetsa to a gentle landing on the sandy shoreline, Ik'tanhì steadied her while simultaneously offering his arm to help me dismount. His strong grip was reassuring as I swung my leg over Tetsa's side and slid to the ground.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t drench half our people, child,” Ema’ti said, approaching Ik’tanhì to gently knock her fingers against his head.

“Someone is in trouble.” Nguyo teased, approaching all of us.

Somehow he looked even more dazzling than when I’d last seen him.

“Shut up, reef boy,” Ik’tanhì said playfully punching Nguyo in the arm.

“Why would you mate the two annoying ones?” Ema’ti said, taking my arm in her own. Guiding me across the sand. Reaching a hand out to my top, she carefully adjusts it and I feel my cheeks warm as I move her hands.

“Mother! I can do it myself.” Reaching my free hand up, I carefully readjust myself, being slightly tussled from my ride with Ik’tanhì.

“Also they may be annoying but I see greatness in both of them. Even though I too want to throttle them.” Reaching a free hand up to my head, I carefully adjust myself before grinning. “This place is beautiful.”

“Your father loved coming here. He’d always eat this one little fish.” Ema’ti spoke gently, looking toward the caves. “I hope I can have some today.”

“If fish is what you want, I will catch you all the fish in the world mother,” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder. “Well, maybe not all the fish but as many as I can.”

“All I need for you to do is to keep the peace for the winter and help with the ceremonies, ma Neyswa.” She spoke softly, patting my arm.

As we got closer and closer to inland, I could make out the faint sound of others speaking. Just from the noise, I could tell this clan was larger than ours. Even the faint sound of children’s giggling could be heard, something our clan had little to none of. I didn’t know why but my stomach suddenly flipped on itself, my tail swaying gently behind me, nearly tucking into my back legs.

As we approached the side of the beach we’d be staying at, I couldn’t help but gasp. It was even prettier up close. Unlike the other side of the island which seemed to have exposed living conditions, this side was more closed off. It was a large cave reef filled with marui that was built between rocks and large tree trunks. I could see that the village had been arranged near the seashore as well, which gave it a beautiful picturesque appeal, like something you’d see in a painting. The walls and large bits of tree trunk were covered in lush vegetation and exotic plants, suiting its cove-like appeal. If you craned your neck upward you could even see that the natural openings allowed sunlight to come through along with small pink birds which seemed to play above the head. I wondered if it would get cold at this time of night.

From here I could clearly see the other clan enjoying themselves, some of them kicking around what looked like a ball that had been hollowed out to make it soar across the sand. The clan we’d come to share our space with looked very interesting. Everyone was like those beautiful pink birds, colorful and energetic. By the time they saw our clan approaching, members from both parties ran across the sand to greet each other, happy hoots and cheers coming from both parties. This crowd of Na’vi seemed to be from the jungle, something you could easily see from the shade of their blue skin and the fact that they seemed to have ganglier limbs.

Approaching us from the crowd came one young man, his smile warm and comforting as he came closer. Out of everyone we’d seen he looked the most peacock-like from his head to his toes. Around his head rested a plant diadem, the center holding a large emblem that had a symbol inlaid in it. Around his neck seemed to be a necklace of sharp claws, each one perfect in shape and color. On his shoulders sat a wreath of bright blue and brown feathers, each feather shifting as he walked. Around his waist, he had the same leather strip Ik’tanhì wore. It went well with his soft green loincloth and leather arm bands he sported. By the time he was in front of us, I could see that his hair also held the same forest appeal. Brown round beads to match the soft green of his eyes.

He was this clan’s Olo'eyktan it seemed which made me feel slightly guilty again. I don’t know if my father managed to stick his claws in these people but if someone this young-looking was approaching us, it could only mean one thing.

“Tsahìk Ema’ti, I see you.” He spoke, his voice deep and resonant, a soothing baritone with a slightly husky undertone that instantly commanded attention. Even the way he gestured the greeting was fluid as if he’d done it hundreds of times.

“Olo’eyktan Hentì, I see you.” My mother greeted back, her tone warm as she spoke. Feeling her tail gently knock into the back of my legs, I smile when the man turns towards me. “This is my daughter, Neyswa. She is our tsakarem.”

“I see you, Olo’eyktan Hentì.” I said, gesturing toward him, watching his eyes follow my hands.

“You are, a dream walker?” He asked, his gaze tracing down my body now. “I have not met a dream walker, in a long time.”

Raising my hand, I flex my five fingers and hold in the urge to let out a tired sigh.

“I was a dream walker, yes. I am no longer though, I hope that does not make you uncomfortable?” I spoke honestly, taking a step forward to place a leg in front of my mother.

I’d not met these people before and if anything happened I wanted to at least keep Ema’ti safe.

Hentì only smiled, reaching his four-fingered hand out toward my own. Raising my own hand, I give him a high five and he laughs, looking at his palm.

“I have no discomforts, only curiosity but that can be spoken upon later. Possibly with my own Tsahìk here.” He said the last part softer, his smile falling a little. “He would love to meet you.”

“I would love to meet him too if he is anything like you.” Reaching out for my mother’s arm, I see that she is no longer beside me. Instead, she was already making her way across the beach toward a group of elder Na’vi.

“Shall we?” He held his arm out for me and I gingerly held onto the crook of his arm.

“So you said you’ve been around dream walkers?” I said, awkwardly holding onto the man.

It felt strange to hold someone who wasn’t Ik’tanhì or Nguyo, especially when I was practically dropped off into the lap of a stranger.

“Ah, yes,” he cleared his throat, straightening up. “As a young man my brother and I helped in the fight against the dream walkers and sky people. They offered us knowledge in exchange for our own knowledge but they quickly turned against us. Our people suffered greatly.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, stopping at the water’s edge with the young man.

“Why are you sorry, Neyswa? You were not the person who harmed my people unless there is something I don’t know?” He jokingly prodded his kind words an invitation to speak.

“No, no. I never attacked your people or anything like that. It’s a bit of a long story but my father was one of the leaders of the RDA. He hunted tulkun and did a lot of horrible things. He killed my human body and my people were kind enough to help me get into this body. I am sure you have better things to do than hear me speak about this.” Releasing Hentì, I readjust my top, my breasts threatening to spill from the side. The Na’vi didn’t care about being topless but the last thing I needed was to flash someone.

“I have time. You would be surprised just how much I like to listen to others.” He stopped walking, for a moment, clearing his throat. “So, when will you-”

“I’m not pregnant.” I quickly said, taking my arm away from his. “I’m not someone who enjoys having others talk about her behind her back but please, spread the word. You would be surprised how many people have asked.”

“I meant to ask you when you will be joining us for the ceremonies. I assume your mother has told you about them?” He chuckled, his eyes drawing down to my neck.

Feeling a sudden rush of embarrassment, I hastily adjusted my top, my large breasts threatening to spill over the edges. Hentì's eyes instinctively dropped downwards before darting back up to my face, a faint blush creeping onto my cheeks.

"Sorry," I said, my voice slightly flustered. "And she told me enough. I know there will be a party of some sort. Other than that I don’t know much.”

Watching the wooden ball come rolling toward us, I kneel down picking it up before kicking it back toward the crowd. The group of young men and women cheered happily.

“Really?” He said, looking out onto the beach. “You will be in for a treat. Speaking of treats here is our Tsahìk.”

Looking across the beach, I see one Na’vi parting the crowd, the partygoers parting like the ocean for who I could only assume was the Tsahìk. This was the guy Hentì was mated with? He looked so… human. Unlike anyone else here he’d been half dressed in human attire from his neck down. He wore a RDA vest, his Na’vi blade strapped to his chest. Even his neck held a dog tag, the piece of metal glinting in the sunlight.

It was strange to think someone so Na’vi like Hentì would be into someone who reminded me of my old bitter life. As he approached us, he sized me up and down, before looking to his mate.

“I see you, Hentì. Who is this?” He cut straight to the point, his gaze stripping me bare.

“Anki’, this is Neyswa. She is the tsakarem of the Katotxampay.” He held a hand out toward me.

“You must be Hentì’s mate, I see you.” I gestured, giving the man a warm smile only to see his scowl twist into what could only be seen as disgust.

“Ah, forgive me Neyswa. Anki’ is my brother, young brother.” Hentì chuckled reaching out for his brother.

“Younger by moments, brother.” Anki’ spoke, before shooting me a dirty glance.

His voice fit his face, quite haunting like speaking to a siren. I felt like the winter breeze was washing over me for every second he observed me. My brain flashed bright danger alerts when he came closer, yanking my wrist into his grasp. Pulling back against him, I yank my wrist from his hand.

“Anki’, behave,” Hentì said, his words laced with a slight hiss. “You will show respect.”

“I will not for the ceremony with this demon blood.” Anki’ said, pointing toward me. “It’s already pregnant. It shouldn’t be around us.”

“I’m not pregnant and I can be wherever I want to.” I hissed, only to watch him hiss back taking a step forward.

“Do not lose your head,” Ik’tanhì said, approaching from my side. “Never bare your teeth at my mate unless you wish to lose them, Anki’.”

“Of course, you would be attached to this thing. Just keep it from my sight.” He spoke to Ik’tanhì but his eyes were on my own.

“If you don’t want to see me, dig your eyes out,” I said with a laugh. “I’ve fried bigger fish darlin.” I spoke in English, reaching up to his dog tag, and giving it a flick. “Don’t make me dig up whoever Daryll was.”

His eyes widened in surprise before he let out a low growl, brushing my hand away. "Keep your hands to yourself, tawtute." He spat the word out like venom before turning to leave.

“Your brother is a cunt.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

“He just has a history with sky people. Please, forgive him. I hope you two find time to make peace before the ceremony.” He seemed to speak genuinely, his hand over his heart. “I will speak to him.”

“You better, or I will,” Ik’tanhì said, straightening up.

Great, day one in paradise and I already made a fucking enemy.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 36

“You can not tell the Tsahìk of the Syulangrey that you will desecrate the burial of their loved ones, Neyswa. That is unkind.” Nguyo scolded.

“Did you hear what he said to me?” I said, turning my back toward Nguyo, only to see Ik’tanhì behind me, a small smile on his face.

Taking a few steps toward him, I hold my arms out with a pout. Being taken into the hug, I turn toward Nguyo and scowl.

“He was unkind as well, I think she should be forgiven. Do you want to upset our mate?” Ik’tanhì asked running a hand down the curve of my spine.

“I know what he said, he was wrong and he has been spoken to by his brother,” Nguyo huffed, coming over to pry my body from Ik’tanhì. “You can not coddle her and you can not run to him when you do not agree with me.”

"I could run to you too.” Turning around, I wrap my arms around Nguyo, moving my hands around his muscular frame to touch the base of his thick tail.

Nguyo stiffened as I held him, a deep purr beginning to resonate from his chest. However, he quickly regained his composure and gently pulled away, keeping me at arm’s length.

“This is not the time, this is serious,” He turned to Ik’tanhì, his eyes flashing with a warning. “And you should know better than to encourage her in such behavior at a time like this. Our clan is small, we need our people to be united. You will apologize, Neyswa.” Nguyo was firm, his arms crossing in front of him.

“And if I don’t?” I said, crossing my own arms.

Getting down so we are face to face Nguyo frowns.

"Then there will be consequences," he said sternly, his gaze not wavering from mine. "It is important that we respect the customs of our people."

Inhaling deeply, I lick my upper teeth laughing. I don’t know why today was test Neyswa day but Nguyo was about to find out about my human temper.

“Then consequence me, I don’t care. You’re not my boss!” Raising my voice, I take a step back away from him.

“I’m your mate,” Nguyo said, his hands going up to his chest.

“And I’m your Tsakarem,” I said, dangling my own carrot back in his face. “I won’t apologize, you can’t make me.”

"I could try," Nguyo responded, his scowl softening slightly. "But I know better than to try to force you to do anything you don't want to do." His eyes held mine, a mix of frustration and affection in his gaze.

“You could try?” I said, placing my arms on my hips. “Try it.”

Without further ado, Nguyo knelt down and scooped me up into his arms. It reminded me of when I’d first met Ik’tanhì, being slung around like a pack of potatoes. I couldn’t even yell at him, instead, I smiled at the people we passed by, waving to them with a tight-lipped smile.

“You asked for this, beloved.” He said, his voice icy and stern as he spoke. “If you want to be handled like a rowdy kit, then I can do so.”

“A rowdy kit? You’re the one carrying me around like a sack of potatoes and I’m the rowdy one? This is unconstitutional.” I switched to English as I grumbled over his shoulder. Running my fingers through his hair I sigh.

“I do not understand human speak.” He said, gently placing me down on the ground in front of Anki and Hentì’s marui. “Now, you will apologize.”

With a huff, I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him. "Fine, I'll apologize. But not because you told me to, I just don’t feel like standing outside like this.”

“Thank you, beloved,” Nguyo said, his body rigid as he bent down to try and kiss me. Pushing his mouth away, I hiss at him.

Reaching up toward the privacy flap of the marui, I give it a small knock and Nguyo reaches above me, shaking a small pod of what I could only assume were dried beans.

Seeing the flap draw upwards, I peer inside to see Hentì standing there with a bright smile. Behind him, Anki’ could be seen sitting on the ground with his arms crossed over his chest, his stupid ugly face looking toward the ground. It was crazy how two people with the same face could look so different.

“Nguyo, brother! And Neyswa.” He tilted his head toward me with the same warm smile. “Is everything well?”

Seeing Anki’ look toward the two of us, he stares directly into my eyes, his lip curling in seeming disgust.

"Everything is fine, Hentì," I began, my voice slightly strained. "I...I came to apologize for my earlier behavior. It was disrespectful and uncalled for." I shot a glance at Nguyo, and my expression hardened.

Nguyo gave me a look that told me I was looking at the wrong person.

“May I speak to Anki’, please?” I said, giving Hentì the best smile I could muster up. From the way Nguyo held my backside though I could tell I was probably scowling again.

Hentì' nodded and moved to the side so I could step into the marui. The moment I took a step inside the strong scent of herbs and flowers filled my nostrils. At least it was pretty in here, the walls covered in vibrant flowers and what I could only assume was art and their belongings. As for Anki’ he looked up at me with what I could only assume was hatred. His green eyes flicked from my feet to my head. Across his naked torso, he lay under a thick fur pelt, his eyes on me. Around his neck, he wore a heavy necklace, the polished stones reminding me of gold from the yellow paint across the surface. Coming closer, I squatted between his legs and placed my hands on my knees.

“Hi fuck face,” I said in English with a bright smile as the young Na’vi leaned forward.

“Hello, fuckable face, are you here to drool over me too? I know you like my people so I wouldn’t be surprised.” Anki' returned in English, his voice low and slightly rough. His eyes were still fixed on mine, glowing in the dim light. There was an intensity to his gaze that was almost palpable, a spark of something wild and untamed.

“As if,” I whispered, looking over my shoulder at Nguyo with a happy smile. Turning to Anki’ I reach out and gently pull a petal from his hair. “Nguyo brought me here to apologize but I’d rather lick the ocean dry.”

Reaching out for my face, Anki’ grabs my chin and pulls my jaw down, his thumb pushing into my mouth.

“You have the tongue for it, start licking. I don’t want your apology.” He said, coming forward with a small chuckle.

Biting down on the tip of his finger, he quickly withdraws it from my mouth. Licking my lips, I tilt my head to the side. He was bitter but at least his hands were sweet. Sighing, I sit between his legs, flicking my hair over my shoulder.

“Listen Anki’. We will be seeing each other often these next coming weeks and I just want to be at peace with you. We don’t need to like one another but we should be cordial. I am sorry for what I said. Me being Na’vi now had not taken away my human nature. What I said was wrong.” I apologized, the words burning my throat as I forced them out.

Anki' stared at me for a long moment, his eyes never leaving mine. Finally, he sighed, breaking the tension. "I accept your apology, Neyswa. Truce," he said, extending his hand towards me. “I also apologize for what I said. It was rude.”

Taking his hand, I give it a firm shake and smile, this one smaller but genuine.

“Thank you. If you didn’t accept my apology Nguyo may have made me sleep outside in the sand.” Standing up in front of Anki’ his eyes follow my body.

“Do not thank me. Hentì has also threatened me to apologize. Unlike you, I didn’t fold.” He said a mischievous smile on his face.

I hate this dude, would Hentì kick my ass if I started smacking him around?

Turning around, I head over to Hentì bowing a quick goodbye while silently walking past Nguyo. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to speak to him after forcing me to apologize to that dick head. He even dragged me here against my will. Feeling Nguyo’s hand slip around my wrist, I pull free from his grasp.

Hearing him come up beside me, I stay silent as he walks beside me.

“You are mad at me?” He asked, but I kept silent going into the marui only to see that Ik’tanhì was now gone. “For having you apologize?”

“I’m mad at you because you forced me to. What he said was hurtful and you made me say sorry!” Going over to the large Nivi the three of us would share, I slip into it, closing the top. “Now leave me alone.”

Without saying a word, Nguyo slips into the Nivi in front of me, his large arm coming over my body to hold me close. Grabbing the top, he encloses us in together.

“I was wrong to make you apologize but it would have been wrong to not apologize,” he began, his voice deep and soothing as he spoke. “I am sorry I upset you.”

The flame boiling inside of me was extinguished with his reply, all that anger gone the moment his heart began to pound against me.

“No, no.” Turning to give him my full attention, I cradle his cheek. “Sweetheart, you’ve done nothing wrong. I was being stubborn I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I am not upset, I worry for your safety. While I accept you and I adore you, it does not mean the same for others. You are different outside, yes but within, you are still my fragile Keork’a. If someone were to hurt you, I don’t know what would become of me.” He said so, brushing my hair from my face.

“Stop being so nice,” I grumbled, trying to move his hand. “You’re making it hard for me to stay mad at you.”

A small smile played on his lips and he moved closer, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into his chest. His touch was warm and comforting, and I found myself leaning into him despite myself.

"I'm sorry, beloved," he murmured into my hair, pressing a soft kiss on top of my head. "I didn't mean to upset you."

“Stop kissing me, just punch Anki’ the next time he is rude to me,” I said, inching up so we were in each other’s faces. “If you knock him out I’ll let him hold my hand.”

“Hold your hand? Will punching Hentì double my reward?” He joked, turning our bodies so he was on top of me, his beautiful eyes pinning me in place.

“I was joking, please do not punch people to gain my affection. You already have it all.”

It was hard to get angry at Nguyo and even harder to stay angry. It slightly worried me just how easily I gave in to him.

“Can I kiss you now, Ma Neyswa?” He asked, leaning down for me.

I nodded, unable to resist him any longer. As his lips met mine, a shiver ran down my spine. Kissing Nguyo was different from kissing Ik’tanhì. Both feelings were intense but Nguyo always made me feel like I’d be safe in his arms. I always felt the love and adoration even when I couldn’t put a word to it. We’d kissed so much now that his mouth moved against mine with ease, his tongue gently exploring my mouth.

Breaking the kiss to breathe, I lick my lips clean and dive back in. His taste was intoxicating, a sweet blend of fruit and something distinctly Nguyo. Even while being on top of me, he still held my face, his thumbs gently caressing my cheeks. His body’s warmth was comforting and reassuring, like a warm flame on a winter night. As he pulled back, he let out a soft sigh, his eyes searching mine.

“What are you thinking about if you’re looking at me like this?” I asked, in a whisper.

Nguyo's hand moved from my face, trailing down to my throat. His grip was firm but gentle, sending a thrilling shiver through me. He slowly tightened his fingers around my neck, his other hand still cradling my face. He lowered his lips to mine at a teasingly slow pace, kissing me deeply as his grip on my throat held me captive.

His mouth moved from my lips to my cheek, then down to my neck, leaving a trail of burning kisses in its wake. His hand on my throat gave a slight squeeze, causing me to gasp and arch my back. His touch was intoxicating, sending waves of pleasure through me.

"About how I will make love to you," he whispered, his voice low and husky. His words were a promise, a vow. "Until the only words you know in Na'vi are 'please' and my name." His words sent a thrill of anticipation through me, leaving me breathless and eager for more. “First you rest, we will have our celebrations tomorrow.” In a swift shift, of our bodies he was now behind me, his hand stroking my lower stomach.

“I look forward to your promise.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 37

Yula’vo may have been the luckiest woman I’d ever met. Not only had she been blessed with two children, but she also had a competent mate. Both of mine were acting quite strange. Today was the greeting ceremony and I’d finally meet the other two clans. When Ik’tanhì heard we’d be seeing the Tayrangi Clan he grew uneasy. They were one of the clans to turn him down as a child and it forever left a bitter taste in his mouth. As for Nguyo, he’d been sitting under me, literally.

The moment I’d stepped out of the marui he’d been on my tail, hugging me, kissing me. It was nice but even now as I sat on his lap, I couldn’t help but notice something was off. The moment I’d come to see Yula’vo he’d been behind me, bright-smiled and bushy-tailed.

Even now, as I cuddled little Evu he sat under me, watching me play with her. Rawtowang was with Weyvawla chewing on his chubby little fingers.

“I can not wait, ma Neyswa,” Nguyo whispered, giving Evu his finger.

“Wait for what?” I asked, gently brushing back her beautiful black curls. She looked like a little Yula’vo even down to her nose. She had her father’s eye color though.

“To have a child of our own. I do not care if the child is from Ik’tanhì or I, as long as they have your spirit.” Nguyo pressed a kiss to my temple, Evu looking on in ignorant baby bliss. “I envy my sister’s blessings.”

“Just how many blessings do you want? Do Evu and Rawtowang mean nothing to you?” I joke, raising Evu up into the air, her little giggle making my heart squeeze.

I wondered if my children would come out Na’vi or more Avatar. If they’d face the same bullying because my soul had been lost in another body for so many years.

“I love Evu and Rawtowang, but to have my own children with you is one of my dreams.” Nguyo lowered his voice to a whisper, his large hands gently taking Evu away from me. “My two favorite girls!”

“And what of me?” Yula’vo said, weaving away at what I could only assume were shawls for the babies.

“I made no mistake in what I said,” Nguyo said with a smile, Evu giggling as he raised her into the air.

“Take her away.” Signed Weyvawla, his eyes jokingly narrowed on Nguyo.

“Yes ma’am,” I said in English, reaching up to take Evu from Nguyo’s arms.

Cradling her little body to me, I lean down and blow bubbles into her tummy, her little giggles filling the room.

As I continued to engage with Evu, I couldn't help but feel a sense of longing. There was a kind of pure joy and innocence in her laughter that made me yearn for my own child. The thought of having a family with Nguyo and Ik'tanhì was both terrifying and exciting. Would I ever be a good mother? I could barely get my own life together and I’d be ushering in newer ones. What if I was too human for my Na’vi children? What if I wasn’t enough for them or my mate?

Sneaking a glance at Nguyo, I see him staring me down, his large blue eyes watching my every movement.

“Why are you staring me down,” I said, inching away from him and toward Yula’vo. “If you wanted to hold her you should have been kinder to your sister.” Hearing Evu begin to whine, she kicks her little feet out, her small tail slapping my arms as she cries, “See Nguyo, you’ve upset her.”

Bringing her over to Yula’vo, she gingerly takes her from my arms. Watching her begin to breastfeed, I take a few steps back only to bump into Nguyo. Turning around, he hoists me into his arms, holding me in the air with ease.

“Nguyo te Äzansiyu Swaynivi’itan, place me down this instant. We are in front of your family.” Feeling warmth seep onto my cheeks, I chuckle when he only raises me higher.

“Your family too.” Weyvawla signed with a smile.

"Your family too," Nguyo echoed, his eyes sparkling as he shifted me into a princess carry in his arms, much better than being potato sacked. “Let’s expand it.”

Being taken from the marui, I slap Nguyo’s chest. The heat in my face now warming my entire body.

"Nguyo, you're impossible," I murmured, but I couldn't hide the grin that spread across my face. With a sigh, I rested my head against his shoulder my heartbeat syncing with his as he walked me across the beach.

Our silent walk was proper nourishment for my soul. No one interrupting us, no fights, just silence and peace in his arms. Even his heartbeat was steady, with no anxiety or nervous fluttering.

“Do you think in our next lives we will be fish together?” He asked, watching two small fish chase one another in the water before darting off.

“Fish?” I chuckle, reaching a hand up to his face. “You want to be fish?”

“I want to be with you,” he said, rubbing his face into my hand. “I don’t care what I am, as long as you are there.”

I was at a loss for words, my heart pounding in my chest. The look in his eyes was so intense, filled with a love so deep it took my breath away. A warmth spread through me, not just from the heat of his body but from the desire that was slowly building within me. "Nguyo," I whispered, my voice barely audible as I stared into his eyes, "take me back to our marui."

“Do you not like the fish?” He whispered.

“I want you right now, I want to be with you,” I whispered, placing a kiss on his cheek. “Can I do that?”

His eyes widened in surprise before a slow, sultry smile spread across his face. "As you wish, my beloved," he said, his voice low and husky. He turned, carrying me back towards our marui, his steps quick and purposeful.

When we made it to the marui Nguyo was quick to place me in our nivi, sealing the entrance to our marui as if his life depended on it. For someone who was so composed moments ago, his hands seemed to tremble.

“Are you nervous?” I asked, sitting up in the nivi. “We don’t have to do anything if you are not ready.”

“Nervous?” He asked, turning around while trying to steady his hands. “I am thinking of all the ways in which you will be mine. I am not nervous, I am ravenous.” He came closer, kneeling before me, his tall body still on par with mine even when he was on his knees. “And nervous too, I have never been with another.”

“I will be your first?” I asked, my smile softening. “Anyone who does not want to be with you is an idiot.”

“It is not due to rejection, there have been many offers. I just wished to wait for my mate.” He grinned happily, his hands slipping around my hips to pull me forward. “May I touch you?”

Pushing his inky black hair behind his ears, I chuckle and lean forward to place a kiss on his temple.

“You want to touch me after telling me how much you’re wanted? Will I need to punch others as well after you make love to me?” I pout, standing up in front of him. “I get jealous, I never had to share growing up.”

Nguyo chuckled, his watery blue eyes sparkling with lust. “My beloved,” he murmured, his large hand sliding up my thigh.

His fingers were teasingly close to my loincloth, his knuckles grazing between my legs, across my clothed pussy lips. His other hand found my tail, gently stroking it between his fingers.

“You are the only one I want and the only one I need.” He said, slowly standing up, his body towering over mine in height and muscle. He stretched his arms outward, the muscles of his arm flexing with each movement. “I am all yours. Every bit of my spirit is yours, every bit of my body is yours, every bit is for you and you alone.”

“Are you using my love for you and my love of strong men against me?” I whisper, moving my arms around him now to touch his own tail. It was so thick and strong, it made me wonder if things matched on the front end. “Because it’s worked.”

Growling, Nguyo turns me around, his hands gripping my loincloth before tearing it from my body.

“Hey! I made that!” I said as he leaned into me, his tented loincloth pressing into my ass.

“I will make you another. Let me measure your body for you.” Looking over my shoulder, I watch Nguyo lick his fingers, before slipping them between my legs. “Stay still.”

Looking down between my legs, I reach down and take hold of his fingers.

“You want to help or watch?” Nguyo said, pulling his hand away.

Flipping me onto my back, I smile and it drops instantly when I see Nguyo’s expression. The look in his eyes was predatory, his eyes glazed over in what I could only assume was an overwhelming desire. His pupils were dilated, his blue eyes darker than I’d ever seen them. His jaw was set, his teeth gritted in a show of restrained dominance. The sight of him was so different from the gentle giant I’d known. It was intimidating but I wanted all of it and more. Part of me wanted to poke the bear, after all, I’d been dangling myself in front of him.

Not answering him I try to sit up and he moves in, quickly pinning my shoulders back on the nivi.

“Didn’t I say to stay still?” Wrapping a singular hand around my neck, he uses the other to take off his loincloth. “My mate never listens.” He grumbled, his cock sprung free, standing tall and rigid.

His cock matched his physical size for sure. The length is not what worried me actually, instead, it just how thick he was. I know as thick as a soda can was just a figure of speech but Nguyo seemed to nearly fit the bill. Him telling me he’d push to my navel made sense now.

Even as nervous as I was, I felt my pussy throbbing in anticipation, my eyes blinking lazily.

“I don’t want to stay still,” I said, sitting up on the nivi. Turning my back toward Nguyo, I lay back so he is above me, his cock inches from my face.

Reaching up, I grab his thick cock, my hands barely able to wrap around him. Giving it a gentle squeeze, I pull my hands back, licking both hands before grabbing his cock again. Beginning to stroke him up and down, he purrs, his hips instinctively moving back and forth. The weight of it in my hand, the heat radiating off of him? It was all too intoxicating. I wanted more. I angled his cock downward, small droplets of precum dripping down onto my lips. Each stroke elicited a deep growl from him.

“Do not eat that.” He said in between huffs, his body leaning over mine, his cock now laying on my face.

“Do not tell me what to do,” I said, licking down the side of his shaft. His skin was salty not only from the cum but from how sweaty he was becoming, it was actually quite flattering to know that I was working him up.

Feeling him pull his hips back, I quickly use the opportunity to place a kiss on the head of his cock. Lapping away at the droplets of precum coming out, Nguyo reaches down to my breasts holding them in his hands.

“Neyswa, please,” he spoke through drawn breaths before I slipped the head of his cock into my mouth. His grip on my breasts turned into kneading as I sucked on his cock head, his thrusting pushing and pulling the tip into and out of my mouth.

Shifting his position, I feel the Nivi dip as Nguyo moves over me, his head level with my lower body. I could feel his hot breath against my sensitive skin, causing my skin to prickle with goosebumps. His large hands gripped my thighs, spreading them wide as he lowered his head. His tongue slid across my folds with surprising expertise. I tried my best to keep calm but all I could do was moan around his cock, the vibrations causing him to groan in pleasure.

“I missed this.” He said, pushing his tongue into my clit, flicking over it again and again.

His hands held my hips firmly, keeping me in place as he began to push his cock in my mouth. Every lick was met with equal thrusts, his thick cock burying itself in my throat. His pace was slow and deliberate, each thrust stretching my throat further. The sensation was overwhelming, but I found myself matching his rhythm, suckling his cock as he ravished my pussy with his tongue. I couldn’t breathe and yet he still pushed deeper and deeper into my throat.

“Neyswa, you’re delicious. Give me more.” He said, his tongue pushing into my slit.

His movements grew ragged, the rhythm of his thrusts faltering. I could feel him throb in my mouth, the taste of him growing stronger as he neared his climax. With one final, deep thrust, Nguyo groaned, his cum flooding my throat. I swallowed around him, taking everything he had to give. His body trembled above me, his fingers digging into my hips as he rode out his orgasm.

Pulling from my throat, Nguyo’s heavy cock rests on my face as he tries to control his breathing. Gasping, I try to sit up when Nguyo snarls at me. I probably looked a mess under him, my eyes stinging with tears and my mouth covered in drool.

“Stay still.” Nguyo kept on top of me, his assault on my pussy intensifying, his speaking between licks. “I did not know it could feel so good to be inside of your mouth.” He slipped two long wide fingers inside of me, curling them upward to prod into my sweet spot, the one place that made my body jolt. “Let me return the favor.”

My mind was a fog of pleasure, my moans loud enough to be heard from the outside if Nguyo weren’t standing over me. I could feel my own pleasure building within me, a tingling sensation that started from my core and trickled through my body like wildfire. My hands clutched Nguyo’s sides, my fingers digging into his skin, pulling him as close as could be.

“Nguyo,” I gasped, my voice shaky and breathless. “Please, wait you’re going to make me…”

With a low growl, he quickened his pace, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to push me over the edge. And then it hit me. A wave of pleasure so intense, that I had to bite down on my own hand to keep from screaming. My body shuttered and arched, and a gush of warmth flooded over his fingers and onto the nivi beneath us as I reached my climax. My mouth’s grip on my hand loosened. My moans were loud and needy, echoing throughout the marui as I rode out the waves of my own orgasm.

Moving off my body, Nguyo grins and leans over to place a kiss on my mouth. We’d both been panting messes, my mouth full of the taste of him and his face drenched in my cum. He’d just made me fucking squirt and now he was giving me sweet kisses.

“Nguyo, I love you.” Chuckling, I sit up and he follows, sitting beside me. “Can I?” I said, eyeing his kuru.

Gathering my kuru from behind me, he brings it forward and I do the same for him.

“I love you too, Neyswa.” He says, moving my kuru toward his. Watching the ends split open they connect and I shiver when I feel every inch of Nguyo and myself.

Being pulled onto the nivi, he positions himself between my legs. His cock was already stiff again from us bonding with one another. Watching him carefully slip a hand down my body, he chuckles when he rubs my clit, his body shivering.

“I see why you have this now.” He said, slapping his large hand against my pussy. “Come here.”

Standing up from the nivi, he comes around and hoists me up into his arms.

“Nguyo!” I giggle as he holds me close, his cock brushing against my pussy. “Are you going to be gentle with me?”

"No," Nguyo growled, his voice low and husky. “I need to show you that I am a man of my word.”

Turning me around, Nguyo lifted me up into his arms with ease, his arms lifting my legs up to my chest, spreading them wide so I was fully open for him. Slipping his hands behind my head, he smiles. A full nelson?

“Nguyo, if someone walks in they will see everything,” I said, looking over to the marui entrance.

“Let them see me pleasing my mate? I hope they enjoy it.” He said, slipping his cock back and forth across my slit.

Suddenly, I felt the tip of his cock at my entrance. "Be quiet my love," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Bringing me closer to the entrance of the marui, Nguyo holds my exposed body mere inches from the exit. Hell, one more step forward and I’d be outside, my body on display like his trophy.

“Are you crazy?” I asked in a hushed whisper, the smell of warm seawater filling my nostrils as he held me. “What if someone sees?”

“What if I cared?” He laughed, bending my body down slightly to position himself at my slit. “They will see me enjoying what is mine.”

And with that, he pushed in, his large cock stretching me open. He’d been inside me about halfway, before pausing, his hold on my body tightening. It hurt at first, being stretched around him like this. If I’d not sucked him off I wonder if I would have been able to stomach the initial push.

“Nguyo, please,” I begged in English, praying he’d understand me but he only chuckled, pushing in further my walls and gripping his cock.

Leaning me forward, I let my head drop and I look down to see him pushing inside of me further, my pussy spread on him, my cum running down his legs as he filled me completely. I wanted to say it was the mate bond that helped make this experience feel better but it was more. Being with Nguyo made me feel whole.

“Does that feel good, beloved?” He said tenderly, pulling out of me until just the tip was inside. “I do not want to hurt you.”

"Shut up and fuck me, Nguyo. It doesn't hurt," I hissed, a wild urgency taking over me. I needed him. I needed him now.

Pushing back into me at once, I moan unable to hide my excitement any further. His slow movement turned into something powerful. Like he was drawing back a taut bow before slamming into it with all his might. It was like he was taking out all his frustrations on me and I wanted more.

“Neyswa, forgive me.” He growled, his grip on me tight enough to leave a bruise.

Nguyo’s control snapped the string of calm within him reduced to nothing. He thrust into me with a pace that left me breathless, his grip on me tightening as he drove himself deeper and deeper within me. Each thrust was filled with a roughness that had me drooling trying to control myself. His pace quickened, his movements becoming more frantic as he chased his release.

“Nguyo,” I moaned, my voice barely a whisper as my body tightened around his. If he kept going at this pace I was sure I was going to black out.

Seemingly getting a hold of himself, Nguyo pulls out of me, his strong arms turning me around so I could face him. His beautiful face was dappled in sweat, his hungry eyes glazed with lust.

“Yes, beloved?” He brought me forward, rubbing his cheek to my own, his tongue grazing my lips once he pulled back.

“Lay down for me.” I panted, barely able to catch my breath. I tried to keep my eyes on Nguyo but I couldn’t help but look down at his cock which was coated in cum.

Without a word, Nguyo took a seat on the ground, his large body like a work of art as he lay there for me. Pushing my hair out of my face, I move forward and take a seat on his lap, his cock twitching under me. Without allowing him a moment to catch his breath I raise myself on my knees and grasp his cock. Guiding him toward my slit, I teasingly pretend I can not find the entrance for him.

“Is it here?” I ask, pressing the head of his cock into my clit.

Without saying a word, his hands moved to my neck, applying a gentle pressure that was more about control than causing harm. The other hand found its way to my waist, pulling me down onto him. My gasp was stifled by the sudden fullness of him inside me. "I think it's here," he said, his voice a low growl.

Reaching up to his hand, I hold it firmly in place as I begin to move up and down on his cock. Each downward movement was met by an upward thrust from Nguyo, his hips bucking up into me with enough force to leave me breathless. His hand left my throat, his fingers pressing just below my navel, a happy smile on his face.

The sensation was overwhelming. Each thrust sends new waves of pleasure coursing through my weak body. Being with him felt natural, like breathing. I’d wanted to ride Nguyo but it was more like he was still fucking me, his breathing ragged as he continued his work on my body. It only made me want him more.

Unable to contain myself, I let my eyes roll, my head lolling back as my movements become more erratic, the rhythm of our sex becoming uneven. The marui was filled with nothing but the sound of our bodies slapping together, the wetness between us making each thrust slick and easy.

“Neyswa, I love you,” Nguyo spoke kindly, as he held me.

“I love you too,” I said, leaning down to kiss him when his body stiffened under me.

With a final thrust, I felt him push up into me one last time as he came undone inside of me. Following suit, I whimper, my body convulsing as my orgasm overtakes me, leaving me weak and limp. Laying down on top of his chest, he grunts and pushes into me one last time, as if to keep himself calm.

“Ma Neyswa.” He said happily, holding me closer than I thought was possible. I could feel his heart beating wildly against my cheek, his heavy breathing echoing in my pointed ears. “Shall we go again?” He asked his cock still inside of me.

“I don’t think I have your stamina Nguyo,” I said, trying to move off of him, his warm cum giving me chills.

“I have enough for both of us. Lay still.” He said with a chuckle, pushing back inside of me.

I guess tonight was going to be a long one.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 38

“Neyswa, Neyswa!” One of the small girls latched onto my leg, her little chubby fingers digging into my skin. “Me next!”

I’d been waist-deep in the waters with a handful of the younger children from the Syulangrey and my own clan. The older members of the clan were busy preparing for the ceremony later tonight, so I was placed with the children and the younger members of the clan who were not old enough to have done their Iknimaya. Well those who wanted to stay, most of the teenagers were using this time to sneak off and do who knows what.

“You have already had your turn, Nenuke,” I say, squatting down into the water so I am more on level with the child.

“Yeah, Nen! Learn to share or I will tell Mother.” O’fye screamed at her sister, the little girl reaching up to tug her older sister’s ear.

“No fighting!” Soltok said to the children, causing them both to flinch, O’fye moving in front of her sister.

“You are too old to be on Pony ilu!” Nenuke shouted from behind her sister.

Chuckling, I move in front of Soltok and reach out for O’fye’s hands. Letting her grip my extra finger, she gives it a gentle bend.

“Soltok will not ride the ponies I promise! He is just here to help me, right?” I said, looking over my shoulder at the annoyed giant.

“Yes, help.” He grumbled, squatting down beside me. Forcing a kind smile, the two girls move away behind me, their little hands holding my shoulders.

“Soltok, I think you’re scaring the children.” Whispering to him, I reach out and adjust the shawl on his shoulders. It appeared to be a gift he’d gotten from one of the women of the Syulangrey.

It was easy to tell when they’d given gifts. Everything from the Syulangrey was flowery, just like their clan name. They smelled like flowers, they adorned themselves in flowers, hell, Ik’tanhì made jokes about their excrement even smelling of flowers, it’s why they talked so much shit. They were also quite friendly. Hentì was quite friendly, offering his time and kindness to many from our clan. Anki was the opposite, I would be surprised if he liked anything that wasn’t scowling or devoid of life.

“They are scaring me, I don’t like children,” Soltok grumbled, reaching up to the flower he’d placed in my hair. It was the same bright orange flower he’d picked every day, placing it in my hair over and over again.

"Then you, my friend, are in the wrong place," I teased, patting his shoulder. "Brace yourself, for we are to be surrounded by these little monsters for the rest of the day."

“Monster? You are the monster!” O’fye said, hissing before jumping onto my back. “Help me Nen!” The girl giggled, calling for her sister.

Feeling Nen jump onto my side, I chuckle and bring her around so she is in my arms. Her blue and yellow eyes glimmered with joy as she held onto me.

“I am not the monster!” I said, taking a step toward Soltok. “He is the monster! Look, he is bigger than all of us.”

Watching the edge melt away from Soltok’s face, he rolls his eyes and steps forward.

“But I am the monster.” He teased, coming forward to link his arms under my legs. Hoisting me and the girls into the air, he smirks. “See? I’ve captured you all.”

Squeals of laughter filled the air as the girls squirmed and giggled in our arms. "You can't capture us, Soltok!" Nen exclaimed, struggling to free herself from his grip. "We'll escape and get you back!"

“Yeah! Like this!” Balling her hand into a fist, O’fye strikes Soltok on the top of his head, causing him to fake wince, dropping all of us into the water.

Surfacing with the girls in my arms, I laugh when the Ilu pony comes from behind. it’s a little hard bumping into Nenuke. Setting both of the girls down into the water, I carefully place them between Soltok and me so they are kept close to the shore. I didn’t want to risk taking them deeper when I knew they could get hurt.

“Are you enjoying your time with us Soltok?” I asked as I waded toward the Ilu pup. “I know coming to be with our clan could be a little, wild but you seem to be having a nice time. You even got a little gift too I see.” Pointing toward the shawl he is wearing.

Soltok turns to me, his stern face softening as he looks at me. "It's different, certainly," he admits, his voice still carrying that gruff undertone. "But it's not...unpleasant. And the children," he adds, glancing over at the squealing girls, "they're not as tiresome as I thought they would be." He then looks down at the shawl, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "And this...it's not so bad."

“So, did you get that from an admirer? Are you giving everyone flowers?” I said, reaching up to gently pull the orange flower from my hair.

He chuckled a rare sound that echoed softly in the space between us. "I might have given out a few, but the one in your hair... that's special. It's always been just for you."

“Oh, I’m special?” I asked, scooping up a hand full of water. Gently pour it over the Ilu pony I grin. “No man has said that to me before,” I said sarcastically.

Looking at the girls, I gently take their hands, helping them out of the water.

“That is enough water for now girls. Come, let me help you.” Taking O’fye into my arms, I reach down and hold onto Nenuke’s hand, her little fingers gripping mine.

Guiding them out of the waters, I carefully release both girls, watching them take off in the sand across the beach.

Glancing over my shoulder, I try to catch a peek at Soltok to see him come beside me, his hands on his hips. He watched the children run to their parents before looking down at me. Quickly looking away, I place my hands on my own hips. Clearing my throat, I straighten up beside him.

“So you said you got that shawl as a gift? Who made it for you?” I asked, my hands playing with the beads on my top. “Was it Hentì? He brought me a bushel of flowers for paints or was it like, a woman?”

“It was from Soye, she is a gatherer in their clan. Why?” He asked, his tail swaying gently behind him, his face as stern as ever once again.

“I just, thought it was nice that someone got you a gift. Mother is forcing me to bring something to the ceremony tonight since she heard what I said to Anki’.” Rolling my eyes, I gently finger the ends of my hair.

“What did you say?” Soltok asked, crossing his arms.

“I said I would dig up his dead friend, but I apologized! I don’t see why I have to bring him a gift.”

“Neyswa, that is cruel to say.” Soltok scolded, his gaze icing over.

“I know, I know that. He just struck a nerve I guess. I never thought I could say something like that. I’ve already lost so many people, I have no blood family left. My new family is only my mother and if I lost her I would be alone. I didn’t think about what I said, how Anki’ might feel the same.” I prattled on, my cheeks warming as I spoke. “You think I’m an asshole, don’t you?”

Sighing, Soltok extends a hand out toward me, and I gingerly take his hand in my own. Being led down the beach he brings me to an old log, the bottom covered in moss and tiny barnacles. Taking a seat in the center, he pats the spot beside him.

“I never said much about my old clan, Neyswa. Let me tell you now.” He looks over at me, and I nod taking a seat beside him.

“I hear you when you speak, you say humans are cruel to their young? Na’vi can be no better,” he chuckled bitterly, fingering the flower shawl he wore. “My mother was one of those people, Neyswa. She gave birth to me from a mating she did not want and then had my brother, her favored son, and my youngest sister. When the sky people came and took everything we had, my mother did not think twice to leave me to suffer on my own. I only survived because my sister dragged my body out of the wreckage.” He looks down at his hands, curling them into fists. “She was all I had left and I lost her too. So no, I do not think you are an asshole for what you said, I think one can turn bitter in hard times. I am alone now, I wake up every day bitter but I try to smile and be better than the discarded pup my mother did not want. My clan was not kind or sweet like your clan, no one was as sweet as you are.” He said, looking into my eyes, his gaze holding strong.

“I’m not sweet,” I said, frowning. “I’m bitter.”

“I enjoy bitter.” He said quietly, his serious tone laced with every word he said. “You’re still too sweet for me.”

“Bittersweet, huh?” I said with a chuckle, rolling my shoulders. “I wish I could have been there sooner, I’m sorry.” I look away from Soltok, my eyes warming once again.

“Do not say sorry for not being there sooner, Neyswa. Say you’re welcome for every thank you I have, you saved my life, and I will return the favor.” His words settled between us, a quiet promise that wrapped around us like his flowery shawl. "And I will remind you every day, Neyswa, that you are not alone. Not anymore."

Scooting over to Soltok, I lean my head on his arm, my arm wrapping around his.

We both sat in silence, watching the smaller children play with one another, me sometimes pointing to things and giving Soltok a rough English translation of things. It was strange, to think days ago he’d taken a punch for me and now we were watching the sun slowly set together. It felt calm, almost too serene.

“You have plans tonight, Neyswa, we should part.” He stood, helping me to my feet. “Thank you for staying with me.” He said, his hand fisted over his heart.

“Thank you for letting me.”

“Remember, you are not just with the Syulangrey, parultsyìp, you will also be with the Tayrangi and the Hulanta. The Hulanta are gentle people Neyswa, you must be gentle when speaking to them. The Tayrangi are different, they are free spirits and they will act as such.” Mother stood behind me, her fingers gently weaving my hair with small gifts from the other clans.

Word got around that a new tail was coming to the yearly hangout. Someone from one of the clans had loose lips. The Hulanta sent over a pot covered in beautiful carvings, some reminding me of beautiful whirlpools. As for the Tayrangi, I’d been left with two beautiful arm bands, woven from feather and colored string.

“I know, I will remember. I also know to not cause a scene, do not fight, be kind. Nguyo gave me the talk as well.” Standing, I turn to my mother and give her a bright smile.

“If you wish to fight Anki’ then you two can do so after we have all eaten.” She whispered, a small smile on her face. “I won’t have him speaking to you this way.” She huffed, reaching up to adjust the flowers placed in my hair. The gift from the Syulangrey of course.

For the first time in a long time, I felt odd in what I wore, more like I was preparing for a social war than a simple gathering. My hair was woven into various braids, different flowers dangling from the ends of my hair. Around my arm, I wore the Tayrangi bands and now I wore something my mother made for me which made me feel a little too vulnerable to the elements. The top was made from beautiful golden plant material which sat atop my chest. The design reminded me of the inside of lungs, varying little brackets of glittering color. The ends of each bracket held a flat mother of pearl.

My loincloth had been fashioned of the same material but it seemed the ends were dyed varying colors, the shades matching the flowers in my hair.

“You should let me make my clothing with your mother. The others will think I am a spoiled child. No matter how pretty it is.” I said, brushing my hands down my body.

“Are you not spoiled?” She said, taking my arm in her own.

"I'm independent, not spoiled!" I retorted, my hands on my hips as I stared her down. Despite my protests, I couldn't help but smile. It felt good to be fussed over, even if it was a little embarrassing.

“Let me spoil my child, your brothers were the same. Always picking a fuss. When they were little we would come here and they would always ask me to let them play the wokau.” Her hand went over her heart as she spoke, both of us walking out of the marui. “Dotsan was too young and too small but Kìda was old enough, still I did not let him go.” Her hands slipped down the songchords on her chest, gently fingering the beads.

“I will need to visit my brothers, do you think they would like me?” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, and pulling her body against mine. “When I was human, I didn’t have any siblings. I am happy to have some now.”

"I believe they would have loved you, Neyswa," she replied, patting my hands that were wrapped around her. "You are a strong and kind-hearted soul, just like they were."

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 39

“Ma Neyswa, you look beautiful.” Ik’tanhì leaned down, whispering in my ear before placing a kiss on my cheek. His lips were warm and soft, something I could find myself melting into in the darkness. I’d thought our celebration would take place above hand but It appears I was wrong. Instead, we’d went to the center of the island and went deep into the belly of the mountain.

Even with my new vision the cave was dark, and somewhat eerie as we went down.

“Now is not the time for kisses, what if I slip in here?” I grumbled, taking hold of Ik’tanhì’s hand.

“Then I will catch you, beloved,” Nguyo said from behind, his throaty voice carrying in the small space.

Coming beside the two of us, he takes my other hand and helps me over the smooth rocky ground.

“I would like to not slip at all,” I said, tripping over a rock embedded in the ground. “Do we have to do this underground?”

Ik’tanhì chuckled softly, his grip on my hand tightening. "It's part of the tradition, love. Just a little further," he assured me. I sighed, trusting in their guidance, and we continued our descent into the heart of the island.

“Back on Earth the only time people went into caves was to die or get trapped. I don’t want to end up a sardine in the earth.” I whisper to myself only to feel Mother’s hand pinch my ear from behind.

“Do not be insensitive!” She hissed, moving around my mates and me.

"I'm just voicing my concerns, Mother," I replied, rubbing my ear. "You can't deny that this is a bit ominous." Despite my words, I squeezed both Ik’tanhì and Nguyo's hands, silently promising to trust our further descendent down.

As we went down further, the faint sound of music could be heard, along with the accompaniment of blue lighting in the cave. I could hear the clan behind us beginning to hoot and holler at the proximity of the party to come. Smelling the sharp scent of sulfur as we get closer, I wrinkle my nose in disgust, and Ik’tanhì chuckles.

“It is the pools, you will get used to the smell.” He whispers again, his lips brushing against my ear.

I shivered at the touch, a wave of warmth spreading through me. Unable to resist the teasing any longer, I slipped out of Ik'tanhì's grasp and moved to Nguyo's other side. "Ik'tanhì, your teasing is...distracting," I admitted, a hint of a blush coloring my cheeks. Nguyo chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist to steady me.

As we stepped into the cavern, I felt my lips part in shock.

“This is where we have our celebrations?” I asked, pulling away from Nguyo to look around in wonder.

I expected some caveman-level of cave but this was so different, it was beautiful. The ceiling was covered in beautiful blue glowing flora and what looked like thick chubby glow worms. It looked as if someone had taken the night sky and placed it on the ceiling. The walls were covered in various tunnels, some of them seemingly connecting to other people celebrating, that was what I could assume from the various music traveling through the main cave and smaller connecting caves. On the ceiling I could see Na’vi swinging on thick logs, slamming into drums that lay wedged in the wall. It was so much to take in and I felt like every time I looked someplace new I found something else. Looking at the cave clearer it looked like a large dome with the center holding a large pool of warm bubbling waters which a few people seemed to be relaxing in.

“Tsahìk Ema’ti and Tsakarem Neyswa, I see you!” A young woman covered in white and red paint approached her, her bright yellow eyes moving between my mother and me.

“I see you, Olo’eykte Ikeyni.” Mother said, giving the woman a calmer greeting.

“I see you, Olo’eykte Ikeyni,” I said, gesturing a simple hello and the woman gave us a simple smile.

“It is nice to see you could join us. My people have heard what the sky people have done to the tulkun. The war council has heard from the Omatikaya and Metkayina of attacks happening, again. The Council of Elders are foolish, they want peace with the sky people but I know the sky people will never seek peace.” Her eyes flitted to me, and down to my fingers, her face softening in what I could only assume was pity.

“You’re right,” I interjected. “They do not care and they are cruel but please, try to enjoy yourself.” I cleared my throat, reaching behind me out to one of the weavers of the clan. “This is for you, your gift is my favorite we’ve gotten.” Passing over a shawl, I smile while making sure I flash the band around my arm.

“Ik’tanhì has told us you are not like the other sky people, that you are on us and not a dream walker anymore.” She took the shawl from my hands, slipping it over her body. “Is it true you died at the hands of your own kin and that you defended your people?” Her eyes bore into my own, seeking the truth.

"Yes, it's true," I replied, meeting her gaze unflinchingly. "I chose my people, my family, and I'd do it again if I had to." There was a moment of silence before she nodded, her expression hard to read.

Watching her smile slip into a smirk, she reaches out and claps both her strong hands on my shoulders. Reaching out, I take her waist in my hands and she laughs, looking over at Ik’tanhì.

“The Na’vi who hates sky people and the sky person turned Na’vi? You will have fun for sure, come with me, I will show you my mate and our people’s customs. The Hulanta can wait, they are no fun.” Feeling the woman hook her strong arm into mine, she tugs me forward and I follow without wanting to.

“Your people’s customs?” I asked, attempting to fall in step with her.

“Yes, the Tayrangi.” She said it like it was as clear as day. “We are practically neighbors of the Eastern Sea and your mate has not told you about us? Did Ik’tanhì forget who helped him get his first Ikran?” She clicked her tongue, annoyed.

“Ah, you were with him when he got Tetsa? Ik’tanhì wants to help me get my own Ikran one day but I am scared I will trip and die during my Iknimaya.” I admit, my cheeks warming.

Stopping in her tracks, the woman pushes my shoulder gently but I take a step back, surprised by her strength.

“Death is a part of everything. It is what helps us change and grow. If there was no end, then there would never be a beginning.” She said proudly, giving me a small shake. “You of all people should know this.”

“He told you everything?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “And you do not hold it against me that I was a sky person?”

“I am foolish in many ways, but anyone who would risk their own life for their people has no ill intentions.” Giving my arms a squeeze she smiles. “If you can put some meat on these arms then you may be able to join me on the War council, your information on sky people could be of use.”

Ikeyni pulls me around the bubbling pool of hot water and over to who I can only assume was her mate. The two truly looked like a perfect pairing once they were side by side. You could see that both their faces were worn from war, the pairing sharing scars I could only assume were from bullets and blades.

“Tsentey, this is the tsakarem of the Katotxampay, Neyswa.” The woman crossed her arms, and her mate mirrored her, his angry eyes looking me up and down.

“This small thing has killed?” He brought a hand up, tracing the scar along his chin.

Squatting down so he is more on height with his mate and me, he raises the area where an eyebrow would have been.

“Yes, I did but only because I needed to.” Placing my arms behind my back, I nervously grip my own tail.

“You should learn to ride an ikran next. Your mate will not always be there to protect you, you should learn to protect yourself.” He said gruffly, standing back up.

For some reason, it felt like I was being scolded by a disapproving father, but Ikeyni smiled.

“She will learn with us, I am sure,” Ikeyni said, latching onto my arm. “Correct?”

“Correct…” I said, looking around for a lifeline.

As much as I loved the idea of learning to ride an Ikran I imagined I’d be taking baby steps, not being tossed in head first with the professionals.

“You are worrying my mate,” Ik’tanhì said, coming from seemingly nowhere. He was always quiet as he moved, you wouldn’t seem to notice him unless he wanted you to.

Brushing a hand through my hair, he gives Ikeyni a stern look. "We've agreed to take it slowly. She's still adjusting to her new body, let alone flying on an Ikran." Ikeyni only laughed, patting my shoulder reassuringly.

Wrapping an arm around Ik’tanhì, I pull him closer to me, his body glued to mine.

“She is your mate, not your baby. Let her live a little.” Ikeyni said, shooting Ik’tanhì a glare. “And will you take up my offer now?” She asked only for Ik’tanhì to shake his head no again.

Sucking her teeth, she takes the arm of her mate. “You are no fun, Ik’tanhì. Neyswa, you must find a mate to let you have fun.” She jokingly said.

“He is fun,” I quickly interjected, my chest warming. Only I could shit talk my mate. “He is just worried I will get hurt again. Just watch!” I said, pride building up in my chest as I took a step in front of him.

Ikeyni’s mate whispers something in his mate’s ear and they both look behind me, a scowl forming on their faces.

“Excuse me, we need to avoid someone,” Ikeyni said, turning away and molding into the party.

Looking over my shoulder, I see Hentì, Nguyo, and Anki’ approaching.

“I am surprised he is not flying in on a broom.” I said, glaring at Anki’. Even at a distance, he had ways to get under my skin.

When the three are close enough, I reach out to Nguyo, pulling him to my other side.

“Hello, Hentì. Hello, Hentì’s brother.” I said, only looking at the kinder of the twins.

"Neyswa," Hentì greeted, a smile playing on his lips. "You look radiant tonight," he added, nodding at his brother, "I can see you have gotten Anki’s gift." He gestured to the little flowers in my hair.

These were picked by Anki’? Kill me now.

“Yes, they suit you well.” Anki’s jaw clenched as he spoke, the compliment sounding more forced if anything.

I gave him a tight smile, carefully adjusting the flowers in my hair. "Thank you, Anki', they are indeed beautiful," I responded, trying to keep the peace for the sake of the celebration.

I wanted to rip the flowers from my hair and shove them up Anki’s ass but I had a feeling doing so would result in a fight I couldn’t handle.

Nudging his brother’s shoulder, Hentì clears his throat. “Neyswa may I borrow your mates? We have an old competition to catch up on.” Hentì looked to Ik’tanhì, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Competition? More like you trying to keep up with me.” Ik’tanhì released me and Nguyo knelt down, his lips brushing the cusp of my ear.

“If you would like I could stay, beloved? I know how you feel about Anki’.”

"Ik'tanhì, Nguyo, go," I said, giving them both a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine. Just try not to hurt yourselves in this competition of yours. I would like you both to come back alive.”

Taking Nguyo’s chin in my hands I turn him so we are face to face. Pressing two quick kisses to his mouth, he groans and stands with an eye roll.

“I was hoping you would not say that. Every year these two morons have the most foolish battles and I am forced into it. Please, save me.” He whispered, returning the kiss. “They will bore me to death, Neyswa.”

I laughed, giving his hand a quick squeeze. "I'm sure you'll survive, Nguyo. I need to make sure Ik’tanhì does not lose his head, keep him safe.”

With a sigh, Nguyo finally surrendered, a playful smirk appearing on his face. "Alright, beloved, I'll watch over Ik'tanhì for you. But once we're back, you will be mine again," he suggested a spark of mischief in his eyes. Then, with a final wink, he turned to join Ik'tanhì and Hentì, leaving me alone with Anki'.

Anki' stayed behind, observing me with a cautious look. It was clear that he was just as uncomfortable with the arrangement as I was, but it seemed neither of us had much choice in the matter.

“Give me your hand.” Anki’ huffed, reaching out for my hand.

“Why?”

"To guide you through the crowd," Anki' responded a hint of impatience in his voice. "Unless you'd prefer to get lost in the throng." With a sigh, I reluctantly placed my hand in his and we began to navigate through the bustling crowd.

For all I knew he was going to restrain me and drown me in the large pool of water in the middle. However, he only brought me to a large circle of others who were preparing food, the singers helping keep the pace as they prepared what I could only assume was some sort of dough stuffed with meat and fruit.

Releasing my hand, he squats down to a large leaf covered in the food before taking one.

Taking one of the stuffed rolls, he stands up and breaks it in half, offering the other half to me.

Gingerly taking it from his hands, I give it a sniff before taking a bite. The sweet tangy meat paired well with the fruit. Licking my lips free of the grease from the meat, I look up to see Anki’ looking down at me in disgust.

“What?” I asked, biting another chunk from the roll. “Did you not mean to share?”

"No, it's not that," Anki' replied, a frown on his face. "I just didn't expect you to enjoy it so much." He stared at me for a moment before shaking his head and taking a bite of his own.

“So you brought me to eat so I couldn’t enjoy myself?” I said, licking the sweet fruit juices from my chin and fingers.

"No, I brought you here because it's tradition," Anki' responded, his gaze softening. "Even if we don't get along, you're part of the clan now. And the clan shares food during celebrations."

“Ah thank you.” Finishing off my half of the roll, I eye his down but decide not to ask. I didn’t want to put my mouth on anything Anki’ touched.

Before I could say anything else, a group of children ran by, their laughter echoing in the cavernous space. One of them accidentally bumped into me, almost causing me to lose my balance. Anki' quickly reached out, steadying me with a firm grip on my arm.

“Children!” Scolding them as they blend back into the crowd, I stand up, steadying myself on Anki’ before pulling my hand away. “Thank you.”

"You're welcome," he replied, his grip relaxing. He then looked back at the bustling crowd, a distant look in his eyes. "This celebration is just beginning."

“What do the Na’vi typically do during these parties? I can hear the music and singing. I can see some people dancing but what else?” I asked, chewing on my lower lip.

"Usually, there are storytelling sessions, friendly contests and games, and rituals to honor Eywa," Anki' explained, his gaze still on the crowd. "It's a time for the clan to bond and celebrate our unity and strength."

“And do you usually participate? When I spoke to Ikeyni she seemed to run off when you were coming over. Are you mean to other women too? Should I be jealous?” I asked jokingly, squatting down to pick up slices of melon.

Anki' shot me a sideways glance, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "No, the only woman I seem to have that effect on is you," he replied dryly. "And as for participation, I usually spend my time with my brother, Hentì. We compete in the games, share stories, and yes, sometimes even dance."

“I guess that is similar to what we used to do on Earth. I used to party a lot. There was this one time we had this huge keg and I did a keg stand on it.” Alternating between English, Anki’ raises a confused eyebrow.

“A what? What is a kek stant?” He said in English, taking a piece of melon from the small leaf in my hand.

I laughed, shaking my head. "A keg stand. It's when you do a handstand on a keg of beer and drink from the tap. It's a silly Earth tradition, not something I'd expect the Na'vi to understand," I explained, awkwardly popping a piece of melon into my mouth.

“Drink like kava?” He asked, taking my hand to direct me toward a large pot full of fruit and liquid. “I have had a beer, my human companion shared one with me. It was terrible.” He seemed to smile a little, the memory making something besides anger and annoyance resonate on his face.

"I can't imagine many Na'vi would enjoy the taste of beer," I admitted with a laugh. "But yes, like kava, I guess. It's all in good fun, just like this celebration. It's nice to see everyone coming together and enjoying themselves," I said, looking around at the bustling crowd. "It feels like home.”

“Earth is not your home.” He said, reaching down to fix me a helping of Kava, the clay bowl in his hand soaked with the strong-smelling liquid. “Here, drink.”

Nodding in agreement, I took the bowl from him, the scent of the Kava strong in my nostrils. With a deep breath, I lifted the bowl to my lips and took a sip. The liquid was strong and bitter, but I swallowed it down, feeling the warmth spread through me. I looked over at Anki', a small smile tugging at my lips. "Thank you, Anki'," I said, raising my bowl to him in a silent toast. It seemed that, for the moment at least, we could put aside our differences and simply enjoy the celebration.

Handing the bowl over to him, he takes a few sips and sighs. Never in a million years did I think I’d be sharing drinks with Anki’ of all people. He was not someone I thought I’d be able to even stand near and tolerate.

“Would you like to dance?” He asked, fixing himself a small helping of kava.

I blinked, taken aback by his question. "Dance...with you?" I asked a mix of surprise and curiosity in my voice. He only nodded in response, waiting for my answer. With a small, uncertain smile, I agreed. "Alright, Anki'. Let's dance. Just don’t step on my feet."

Watching him fix himself a larger helping of kava, he takes it down in one long gulp. Hell, if I was going to dance with myself I would get a drink too.

“Why so much kava? Are you scared I’ll start fighting you mid-dance?” Taking Anki’s arms in mine, I begin to walk toward the dancing group.

“No one is scared of fighting you Neyswa, you are too small to have such a hard bite.” He mocked, his arm squeezing mine.

Being redirected he takes me toward a large rack of costumes and clothes, each piece brilliant in its own right.

Without a word, he selected a vibrant blue-green piece, adorned with intricate weaving and iridescent plant fiber. He handed it to me with a nod, "For the dance, Neyswa. It's tradition to wear these." I accepted the costume with a mix of excitement and apprehension, for all I knew he could have been dressing me as a fool.

“It’s a little hard to wear with my other things,” I said, struggling to put the costume on.

Anki' sighed, seeming to realize my struggle. "Here, let me help you," he offered, stepping forward his fingers hooking into my top.

“No!” Reaching out, I smack his hands away my cheeks flooding with warmth. “I can take off my own top.”

"I didn't mean to imply-" Anki' started, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

“I know, I just. I’m still adjusting to being, well, topless.” I whispered it, my hands gesturing to the air around us. “You’ve been around sky people, you know how they don’t really go around topless.”

It felt awkward and somewhat intimate to have to explain myself as I gently removed my top. Slipping into the costume, I give my arms a small wave.

For a moment, Anki' was silent, his eyes looking me over in a way that made my heart flutter in my chest. It was a subtle change in his demeanor, barely noticeable unless you were looking for it, but it was there nonetheless. He quickly masked the momentary lapse with his usual stoicism, turning away to pick out his attire from the rack.

"Don't look so uncomfortable, Neyswa. You look like a true Na'vi," he said, not meeting my gaze as he slipped into a matching attire, the vibrant colors standing out against his blue skin.

Watching him take up a small pot of paint, he begins to paint his skin vibrant colors. For a moment he looked like Hentì, kinder and gentler. I wonder how he would have looked if the RDA never came to their planet. Would he be dancing with someone kinder? Would he be smiling instead of begrudgingly standing beside me?

Taking out some paint myself, I rub it between my fingertips, this mixture more smooth and creamy compared to the paint I’d gotten from Nguyo.

Looking him over, I couldn't help but smile at how well the costume suited him. "You look like an Ikran, Anki'," I commented, a teasing lilt in my voice. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards in response, a rare hint of amusement playing on his features.

“And you an Ikran if it was born the size of a lortsyal.” He said back, using the paint from the small pot to begin to paint across my cheeks. “Close your eyes.”

I did as he suggested, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as I felt the cool paint against my skin. His touch was surprisingly gentle, something that made me a little uncomfortable. It felt like when a lion was kind to a baby gazelle, being kind before devouring it.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally pulled away, the sound of the pot clinking softly against the rack indicating he was done. "You can open your eyes now, Neyswa," Anki' said, his face a little too close to mine.

I did so, blinking a few times to adjust to the light. "Well? How do I look?" I asked, a sudden wave of self-consciousness washing over me. I knew Anki' was not one to mince words, and his honest opinion mattered more than I cared to admit.

"You look... fitting," he said after a moment, his eyes softening ever so slightly. "Makes it bearable to look at your face.” He said, taking my arm in his, leading me to the fire.

“You say my face is unbearable? You look like Hentì but if he were ugly.” I joked, watching Anki’ begin to dance to the music, his movements very simple at first.

Mimicking him, I try to step on his toes but he moves out of the way, leaving me to stomp on the ground instead.

“So you think my brother is handsome?” He asked, taking my hands in his own, swapping places with me as we moved around the fire.

“Yes, but I am not attracted to Hentì. He is too sweet for me, he’s like a flower and I prefer things a bit more bitter.” Shrugging, I swap places with Anki’. “Why do you ask?”

Anki' paused, his grip on my hands tightening slightly before he continued dancing. "No reason," he finally said, his voice barely audible over the music. "Just curious, that's all." We continued to dance, the movements a bit faster this time.

I could hear one of the singers singing a tale of the ikran and shimmyfly. How both creatures owned the sky, both being beautiful gifts from Eywa. One a reminder a strength and the other a reason for peace and love.

As the song continued, I felt my body move in rhythm with Anki', our steps aligning with the rhythm of the music. I noticed his gaze soften a bit, his stern demeanor momentarily replaced by a look of enjoyment. "You're not half bad at dancing," he admitted a hint of surprise in his voice.

“Well, you’re not half bad at being quiet for once.” I teased. “Why don’t you use this night to find a mate to dance with?” I asked as we neared a group of younger Na’vi, some of them looking at Anki’ and me.

Anki' scoffed at my suggestion, his grip on my hands tightening ever so slightly. "Why would I do that when I'm already stuck dancing with you? You have two mates, just pretend to have another.”

“I think someone is just scared of being rejected,” I said, turning my body so my backside was facing the group, giving Anki’ the chance to look at the Na’vi behind us. “Is there anyone you see that you like?”

Anki' glanced over the crowd, his eyes flicking from one face to another. "No," he finally said, his gaze returning to me.

“You’re no fun,” I say, turning us around so I could look at the crowd.

By the time the music stopped I was somewhat breathless, my skin slick with sweat. Anki’ seemed to be somewhat disheveled, his cheeks flushed and his face somehow more cold than ever. Before I could ask what the matter was, he stomped off to be on his own.

What the hell was that for?

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 40

Sitting by myself after Anki’ flat-out ditched me wasn’t that hard. Hell, I could survive on my own and my little cup of kava, all by myself. Everyone seemed to be off doing things by themselves. Ik’tanhì, Nguyo, and Hentì came by during their dick-measuring contest to tell me that both of the men were tied, Nguyo looked worn out from the nonsense. Yula’vo was with the other new mothers passing their children to one another while cooing at their cuteness. Hell, even Soltok seemed to have found himself someone to hang out with. Soye, they’d both been at each other’s tails all night. Why the hell was I the only person alone?

“I need to put this down,” I said looking into the sloshing bowl of kava. Placing it down onto the ground, I stand up and roll my shoulders as I stumble forward. Straightening up, I reach up and pinch both my cheeks.

Heading off toward one of the inner caverns, I pause to lean against the wall, my skin cooling off some from the cold stone. It felt nice to be alone actually, I didn’t need any stupid young Na’vi man or woman escorting me around, I’m Neyswa for crying out loud.

The inner workings of the caverns weren’t as well-lit as the central area and the sounds were so confusing. If I’d not been keeping a steady hand on the wall I fear I might have gotten lost.

“Soltok…” A voice whimpered from the darkness and I felt myself sober up as the noise began to get closer the deeper I went into the passage I was going down.

I wasn’t a genius but something told me I was headed the wrong way now.

“What are you doing.” Hissed a voice from behind me, a hand snaking around my wrist.

Turning around, I squint barely making out Anki’ in the low lighting the cave provided. His blue skin and yellow face paint stood out nicely in the low blue lighting. He made me miss Ik’tanhì.

“Anki’?” I whispered pointing a thumb ahead of me. “I think Soltok is doing it.” I giggled, the alcohol making the laugh slip out.

"Doing what?" Anki' asked, his confusion evident in his tone. "Never mind, let's get you back to the main area before you wander into more trouble," he suggested, the seriousness of his voice contrasting with my drunken mirth.

“It! He’s doing it.” I said, making two stick fingers with my fingers, making them connect in the middle. “Oh yeah, you’re an unfuckable dork. They’re having sex.”

Anki' stared at me for a moment, his face a picture of disbelief, before shaking his head in resignation. "You're definitely drunk," he muttered, pulling me away from the direction of the noise.

“I’m not drunk, gosh let me go,” I spoke in English now, prying away from his grasp. “You left me all alone back there in the party anyway. Why do you care where I go? Do you think I’m going to go peep on Soltok like some Na’vi peeping tom?”

“I don’t know what that is, come with me now.” He growled, turning around, waiting for me to walk past him.

Reaching out to his tail, I give it a playful tug, watching Anki’ come back a few steps. Giving it another tug, he turns around teeth bared and eyes a vibrant green color in the dark.

“Is it because I brought up the mate thing? I wasn’t asking because I wanted to make fun of you.” I said, leaning back against the cool stone, a shiver running down my spine. “I wanted to help you.”

“I don’t need your help Neyswa, I don’t want your help. I don’t want you to hang around me, I don’t want to eat with you, I don’t want to dance with you. Talking to you is even worse.” He growled, pinning my shoulders to the wall. There was no ire in his grasp though, just a slight pressure to keep me steady.

“You don’t need that from me? Then why did you offer me all those things if you didn’t want to? Did Hentì force you to hang out with me? My mother? One of my mates?” I whispered, pushing my hands into his chest.

His eyes flared with confusion and a hint of anger, "No one forced me. I just... I don't know, alright?" He replied, his grip on my shoulders loosening. His confession left an awkward silence between us.

“You’re so annoying. You’re like a coin! Make up your fucking mind Anki’. You flip-flop every few seconds, it’s like whiplash. One moment you want to be around me and the next you don’t.” I growled back at Anki’, slipping my leg between his own. I didn’t care if he didn’t understand, I couldn’t give two shits right now.

Throwing my weight forward I spin Anki’ and me around, pushing him to the ground under me. Sitting on top of his torso, I reach out and grasp his face.

“Why are you so cold to me!” I shouted, my voice echoing through the cavern.

"Because you're not making it easy to be anything else!" He shot back, his voice just as loud as mine. His eyes were a stormy mix of confusion and frustration. "You're always pushing and pulling. One moment you're friendly, the next you're not. How am I supposed to react to that?"

“I only treat you how you treat me!” I said, pinching his cheeks. “Stupid Anki’!”

"I'm not the one who's being stupid, Neyswa!" Anki' retorted, swatting my hands away from his face. "You're the one who can't decide what she wants!"

“What do I want? I want you to treat me like a proper person. You hate me because I wasn’t born Na’vi. You hate me, don’t you? I don’t need you to hate me or hell even like me. Why can’t you like me!”

Anki' didn't respond, his face a mask of indecision. Swiftly, he flipped us over, pinning me down. His eyes bore into mine, searching for something.

“Don’t flip me over,” I said, looking away from his face.

"I," he began, leaning in closer, his breath ghosting over my skin, "hate," a fraction closer, his eyes never leaving mine, "you." His lips grazed the skin of my neck as he spoke the last word. “Don’t make me show you how much I hate you. Now get up and come to the main cave.”

“I can’t get up, you’re on top of me,” I said putting my legs between his body and mine. “Is this the first time you’ve been on top of a woman?”

He froze at my words, his body stiffening before he quickly pushed himself off me. "You're impossible," he muttered, shaking his head as he offered me his hand to help me up.

Taking his hand, I stand up and growl yanking his hand. It made me wonder if should make a get-along shirt. “You’re more impossible and don’t put your mouth on my neck. I don’t want to smell like you.”

"Quit complaining and let's get you back to the party," Anki' said, pulling me along. I could only follow, my thoughts whirling with his words and actions, unsure of what they truly meant.

Pulling Anki’ back toward me, I sigh and pull him into a hug, my arms wrapping around his body. Sinking my teeth into his chest, I bite down until he hisses, pulling my head away.

“You’re like a kit.” He said, rubbing the bite mark on his chest.

"I'm not a kit, Anki'," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest.

Without another word, Anki' gently took my arm and led me back through the winding passages of the cavern. The journey was mostly silent, save for the occasional stumble on my part which Anki' was quick to steady.

“You are a kit, you’re like a fussing kit.” He scolded, taking me down another passage.

"Am not!" I shot back, reaching out to wrap my hand in his tail. “And just let me hold on, stupid. I should have come here with Hentì. He is the kinder twin. He would be nice to me, he wouldn’t make me bite him. He isn’t an unfuckable twit.” I grumbled, being led into the main cavern.

"Stop calling me that," Anki' grumbled, a hint of annoyance in his tone. But he didn't pull his tail away from my grip. We continued in silence, each lost in our own thoughts, until we reached the bustling party again.

“Stop calling you what?” I asked, sliding my fingers up and down his tail, nearing the hilt.

"Unfuckable, for one," Anki' responded, his voice barely audible above the din of the party. "And a twit. I'm not a twit."

“So you’re not a twit but you’re unfuckable?” I asked with a chuckle, gently fingering the fur at the end of his tail.

"Neyswa, stop it," Anki' warned, a hint of frustration seeping into his tone.

“Stop what?” I asked, moving my fingers along his tail. “Stop touching your tail?”

"Yes, stop touching my tail," Anki' retorted, his voice strained. "You're making it difficult to focus."

“Does it tickle? When Ik’tanhì and Nguyo touch my tail it tickles.” I said, gently releasing his tail.

"It doesn't tickle, it... it arouses me," Anki' admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. The confession hung in the air between us, the confession confusing me.

With a sigh, he took my hand and led me towards the main cavern. "Let's go, Neyswa," he said, the tension in his voice replaced by tiredness. As we walked, I couldn't help but glance at him, his confession replaying in my mind.

“Arouse? Anki’ feels something that is not anger?” I asked sarcastically, stepping back into the main party. The music moved through my body, giving me a sense of calm.

"Believe it or not, Neyswa, I do," Anki' retorted, rolling his eyes. “Neyswa can think about something besides me? Wow, we are both learning so much today.”

Bringing me toward the gently bubbling waters, Anki’ helps me take a step inside and I follow. Releasing his hand, I gently undo my loincloth and then slip off my underwear. I’d still been topless from when I’d danced with Anki’ so slipping down into the water was nice. Going down until I am under the water completely I close my eyes and let my body relax. The tension began to seep from my muscles

Surfacing, I sigh and look up to Anki’ who is standing above me, his arms crossed as he watches me glide through the water.

“What, you can’t swim or something?” I asked, coming closer to him.

“No, I can swim. Just wasn’t sure if you were going to drown yourself or not.” Anki' replied, his arms still crossed as he watched me.

“And have you watch me die? Never. Here, come in, it feels really nice.” I said, reaching a hand out toward him.

Rolling his eyes, Anki' undid his own loincloth and slipped off his underwear. Stepping into the water, he maintained a careful distance from me. He kept his eyes on my face which was enough to keep me happy.

“Can I come closer?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Only if you promise to behave," he replied, a hint of wariness in his tone.

“I will be on my best behavior,” I said, coming over to stand beside him in the water. It was a nice contrast to the usual chilly waters of the ocean. “Why do we always butt heads?”

"I don't know, Neyswa," Anki' sighed, his gaze fixed on the water. "Maybe we're just too similar, or too stubborn. Or maybe we just enjoy the fight too much."

“Enjoy the fight? When I first met Ik’tanhì he fed me sandy fish. When I first met Nguyo, he thought I was dying in the ocean. When I meet you, we fight. I am starting to think I am unlucky with Na’vi men.” Chuckling, I scoop some warm water into my hands, rubbing it onto my face.

Anki' gave a short, humorless laugh. "Maybe the problem isn't with Na'vi men, Neyswa. Maybe it's with you," he said, his gaze finally shifting from the water to meet mine.

“Are you blaming me for being a victim of circumstance?” I said, shooting him a glare. “I didn’t take Ik’tanhi to drag me here, I didn’t tell Nguyo to pull me from the waters and I didn’t mean to upset you because I was reborn the way I am.”

"Perhaps not," Anki' conceded, his eyes softening slightly. "But you have a way of inviting trouble, Neyswa. You push and provoke, and then act surprised when people react. Maybe it's time to start taking some responsibility for that."

“You’re being a dick, you know that?” I said, sitting up. “You’re being a total dick. When did I push and provoke anything?”

"You're doing it now, Anki'," I retorted, crossing my arms over my chest. "You don't have to like me, but you could at least try to be civil."

“You can at least try to kiss my ass,” I said, splashing the hot water into his face. “I thought you were lonely because you were just misunderstood but turns out you’re just a dick head.” Standing up, I try to move away when he grasps my hand.

"Let go," I demanded, tugging at my hand. But his grip only tightened, his eyes reflecting a mix of anger and frustration. “What do you want from me?”

"I want you to stop making everything about yourself," Anki' shot back, his voice echoing in the cavern. "Not every situation revolves around you, Neyswa."

“In my life everything does, so if you have a problem with that, you can kiss my ass.” Yanking away from him, I step out of the water, slipping on my loincloth. “I’m going to hang out with the likable twin. Have fun being alone.” Kicking Anki’s clothes into the water I stomp off, grabbing my top.

“Neyswa!” He growled at me, taking his clothes from the water.

Marching off toward the main cave entrance, I gently brush the water from my skin, reaching up to pull the flowers from my hair. Powering my way up toward the top of the cave I hear Anki’ trailing behind me.

“Leave me alone!” I shouted, continuing toward the mouth of the cave. “I don’t need you hounding me.”

Reaching the outside world, I feel Anki’s hands on my shoulders before I am pinned back to the cave wall.

"But I do feel something for you, Neyswa," Anki' confessed, his voice a low rumble. "I'm not sure what it is or what to do with it." He leaned in, his breath a warm whisper across my face. "I'm trying to resist the urge to... to..." His voice trailed off, his eyes flickering down to my lips, but he didn't move any closer.

“Resist what?” Ik’tanhì said, approaching with Nguyo who was holding Hentì in his arms. He appeared to be drunk as a skunk.

Shoving Anki’ away, I go over to Ik’tanhì and wrap my arms around him. “I want to go to bed, now.”

Looking down into my eyes, Ik’tanhì doesn’t hesitate to nod and turns me away from Anki’.

“Here, take him. I am tired as well.” Nguyo said, passing Hentì over to his annoying brother. “My mate gets cold at night without me.”

With that, the three of us headed back for the marui, and all I could think about was Anki’s words.

Chapter Text

DOTS- Chapter 41

“Neyswa, I think you should speak with Anki’, please.” Ik’tanhì rubbed his temple, kicking aside another basket of flowers. “If Hentì sends one more basket of flowers, I may kill him.”

“Then kill him, I don’t care,” I said, staring out one of the openings of the marui.

I’d been avoiding Anki’ and Hentì for five days straight. The only time I wasn’t in the marui I was checking on the people in our clan, making sure everyone was okay. Everyone aside from Soltok that is, he’d been off with Soye for hours every day.

“Do not say that you two.” Nguyo scolded, coming into the marui with another armful of flowers. “Neyswa, as much as these annoy me, you should speak to Anki’,” Nguyo spoke softly, tossing the flowers onto the ground.

“Why am I the one made to apologize? He’s the one who was rude. You two are my mates, mine. You should be on my side.”

“Sometimes you need to be the bigger person.” Ik’tanhì moved through the flower-covered ground, coming to take a seat beside me. “It’s bothering you, ma Neyswa, I can see it.”

Turning to Ik’tanhì, I reach out and toss a handful of petals into his face. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is and that is okay.” Nguyo cut in, coming to sit on the other side of me. “You can say it hurt you, what he said was said through a drunken fit. Give him just a moment to speak to you.”

“Haven’t I given enough?” I asked, moving from between the both of them. “He blamed me for what happened to me. He blamed me like it was my fault. I didn’t ask to die, I didn’t ask to get kidnapped and brought here, I didn’t ask for my fucking father to abandon me here! It’s not my fault and he said I was the issue! That hurt me!” I screamed now, my hands clasped over my chest.

My words echoed in the silence that followed, my anger and pain spilling out into the open. Ik’tanhì and Nguyo exchanged a glance, their expressions softening. "We know, Neyswa, we know," Nguyo murmured, reaching out to touch my arm.

“No! You don’t know.” Feeling my eyes begin to build up that familiar sting, I laugh and push my hair away from my face. “I had no one growing up. I was alone. People were given things just to be with me. My mother was so drunk all the time, it was like I was her mother. My father left me, he left and didn’t give a single shit about what happened to me. I came here for him! Not for anyone else but for him and he fucking killed me with his own hands. Do you know how much that eats me up inside?” My voice trembled as I screamed, my emotions pouring out faster than the tears that spilled down my cheeks. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to either of my parents. I will never see my mother, she will never hold me again, she will never know her grandchildren because of everything that happened to me. I became a Na’vi of my own free will, and yes I don’t regret it. I just want to be treated like I am one of our people and that won’t happen ever. People will always look at me and see the Georgia Stringer the worthless human!”

Nguyo and Ik'tanhì remained silent for a moment, processing my outburst. Then, Ik'tanhì reached out, his hand gently brushing against my arm. "We see you, Neyswa." He said quietly. "Not Georgia Stringer. You are one of us."

Feeling the gentle touch of Ik’tanhì’s hand I sink down to the ground, my fist slamming into the ground.

“I know you both see me, I know. I just wanted everyone to see me as you two do.” Choking on my cries, I try to calm myself but I fail. “Maybe Anki’ was right, maybe I’m the problem.”

Nguyo was quick to respond, "No, Neyswa, you are not the problem. The problem lies with those who fail to see past their own prejudices." The words, although simple, brought a sense of comfort, like a warm blanket laid over my shoulders.

“I know I will never be Na’vi enough to satisfy everyone but it doesn’t matter.” Sitting on the backs of my legs I gently wipe my tear-stained face. “I think trying to be too much like everyone was killing me. I shouldn’t discard myself, I’m still in my heart, I’ve just changed somewhat.”

“And what is wrong with that?” Ik’tanhì said, an angry look on his face. “I don’t like Anki’ making my mate cry but I don’t want you to hate yourself because of who you are. I loved you before when you were human and I will love you now. You do not need anyone else.” Ik’tanhì came forward, pulling me into his lap. “My little alien.”

“Our alien,” Nguyo said, coming around to sit behind Ik’tanhì, his large arms wrapping around the two of us.

“Get off me, you smell like fish,” Ik’tanhì growled at Nguyo who only tightened his grip. “Neyswa is my mate. Not you, you overgrown guppy.”

“Do not worry Ik’tanhì, I would not mate you if we were the last two Na’vi alive,” Nguyo said, resting his head on Ik’tanhì’s.

"Harsh words, Nguyo," I said, my laughter muffled by Ik’tanhì’s chest.

Looking up at them both, I lean into Ik’tanhì’s space placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Leaning over him, I do the same to Nguyo only to feel Ik’tanhì’s lips slip a kiss on my chest. Watching him carefully, he gently bites my chest and I pull away, my cheeks flooding with warmth.

“I guess we should make use of these flowers,” I said, looking around at the abundance of flowers. “I don’t want Hentì’s kindness to go to waste just because his brother sucks.” Reaching behind me, I pick up a handful of the petals on the ground, giving them a small sniff.

Turning towards Ik'tanhì and Nguyo, I playfully shower them with the petals. Watching Ik’tanhì recoil from the flowers, he stands up and begins to gather a pile of them.

“If you’re going to throw them you do it like this, watch me Neyswa.” Watching him dump the flowers on Nguyo, they aggressively smack into his face.

Wiping his face and hair clean, Nguyo stands up and grabs his own handful of flowers. Tossing it toward Ik’tanhì he dodges and the colors burst against the wall in a shower of color.

“I think it’s more like this Nguyo.” Throwing a handful of flower petals at Nguyo, they burst off of his face and he growls charging toward me.

Ducking quickly, I crawl beneath his legs when he turns around and pins me to the ground, his large body sitting on top of my waist.

“Tanhì! Help me!” Reaching out for Ik’tanhì, he comes over my head and grasps my arms pinning them down above me. “Et tu, Brute?” I say in English, as Nguyo begins to slip his hands down my side.

“What?” Ik’tanhì says leaning down over my face.

"I mean, you too, traitor!" I huff out, wriggling beneath them both. “In another life, my mates would not gang up on me.”

“In another life, you would not tempt your mates,” Nguyo said, leaning down to place gentle kisses along my stomach.

Feeling my breathing hitch, I pinch my eyes shut to try and keep calm. I didn’t want Ik’tanhì to see me getting worked up like this. I’d come to terms with having multiple mates but there was something about either of them watching me get intimate that made me a bit nervous. Funny thing to think about when I’d let them both come to me.

“Open your eyes, I want to see you,” Ik’tanhì said, lowering his head, his lips capturing mine in a gentle kiss.

His tongue prodded into my mouth before slipping inside, expertly exploring every part of me. His hold on my arms loosened as he slipped his hands down to my chest, slipping his long hot fingers beneath my top. Everywhere he touched left a trail of heat, leaving me a whimpering mess. He broke the kiss, whispering sweet lascivious nothings in my ear, each word dirtier than the last. Nothing he said was romantic, they were pure, unadulterated promises to have me in any way he pleased.

Meanwhile, Nguyo moved down my waist and sat between my thighs, his large hands spreading my legs over his as he held me close to him. During this he’d not stopped his exploration of my body, his teeth sinking into my flesh, threatening to get closer and closer to where I wanted him to bed. His breath was warm and comforting as he slipped his head between my thighs. He left sly teasing licks on each of my thighs, his body purring into my skin.

“Neyswa?” I heard Yula’vo sing-song my name from outside the marui and I jolted out of my lust-filled state

“My sister hates me.” Nguyo groaned, pulling away from between my thighs. “Why are you calling for my mate?” Nguyo said, fixing my loincloth.

When Ik’tanhì pulls off my face, I grumble and pull him back into the kiss.

“None of your business, moron,” Yula’vo says, coming into the marui as Ik’tanhì and I part lips. “Why does it look so, colorful in here, it looks like Hentì exploded.”

“You don’t want to know,” I said, shoving the petals aside. “You called for me?”

“Yes, it’s for your mother.”

“Are you joking?” I grumbled looking at the ground to see Anki’ knelt before my mother.

Coming to take a seat far away from him, I sign hello to my mother.

“Ma Neyswa.” She signed back with a gentle smile. Her gaze flickered between Anki’ and I, both of us avoiding each other. “You two are in a place of power, it is not right for you both to fight this much.” She went right into scolding us.

“With all respect, Tsahìk Ema’ti I have tried to make peace with Neyswa. She is not one for peace.” Anki’ said, looking at my mother as he spoke. “I think it would be best if we kept our space.”

“Mother, I am willing to make peace as well. Anki’ though, has dragged my name through the mud and spoke horribly about me, your daughter.” I said, scooting an inch away from the man. “He is a sickness, we don’t need him here.”

Ema’ti considered our words, her fingers tapping a thoughtful rhythm on her leg. "Even so, you both hold high positions in our clans. You must find a way to coexist peacefully, for the sake of our people." She said sternly, her gaze holding a finality that brooked no argument.

“Well according to Anki’ I am not one of our people. Just a human.” I said with gritted teeth.

“You were born a human-”

“See! Even your mother agrees!” Anki’ said, his explosive words coming from beside me. “You are not one of us.”

“Silence!” Ema’ti said, her voice pushing through the marui. “Neyswa was born a human in her first life Anki’. She fought for our people and died for the tulkun. You can not denounce her. She is as much a Na'vi as any of us, and she deserves to be treated as such.”

“See you, idiot,” I said, turning to Anki’.

“And he deserves your respect Neyswa. He has had to shoulder his community from a young age. You both are like fires eating at each other. You are more than my daughter and my friend. You both are just children. Do not make me force you to makeup!”

Anki' and I exchanged glances, the tension between us palpable. "Fine," we muttered in unison, begrudgingly agreeing to keep the peace for the sake of our people.

Turning to Anki’ I reach a hand out toward him for a handshake and he grips my hand, pulling me forward into a hug.

Pulling away, I look at him and give a tight smile, "For the people," I say. He nods in response, "For the people." We both turn to Ema'ti, who gives a satisfied nod.

“I will bring back the things we need for the ceremony. You two stay here, do not move.” She said the last part through gritted teeth.

Leaving the marui behind, I am left with Anki’, both of us just facing each other in pure silence. Staring at him revealed that for once he wasn’t scowling at me, just observing me. His eyes were on my hands still, looking at each finger.

“Do you want to see closer?” I asked, holding my hand out for him. I often found the Na’vi looking at my hands or toes with curiosity. Sighing, I stretch my hand out to him. "Here, take a closer look if you want." Anki’ seemed hesitant for a moment, but then reached out and took my hand into his. His fingers traced over my skin, a look of fascination on his face. "Strange, isn't it?" I murmured, watching him.

“Very.” He said, his fingers sliding across my palm and fingers, him wriggling my ring finger in his hands. His strokes were surprisingly gentle for someone who’d just been at my throat seconds ago. “Your wrist is thin too.” He said, locking his hand around my wrist.

His hold on my hand was firm yet gentle as he continued his exploration, his fingers gliding up my arm. His touch was painstakingly slow as if he was taking in every detail. He finally stopped at the crook of my arm, his fingers tracing the delicate skin there.

“There is nothing new there,” I said, letting my arm go limp in his hands.

“I know.” He said, his eyes flittering up toward mine. “I just wanted to see if there was a difference.” Holding his arm out toward me he moves closer. “Do you want to see my hand?”

“I’ve seen enough Na’vi men parts,” I said pulling my arm from him.

"I haven’t seen enough of you, Neyswa," Anki' responded. He released my hand, breaking the connection between us. “Where have you been? Trapped inside of your marui I assume?”

“Why do you care? Have you been counting the days to see me again?” I said, sliding my hands down over my thighs. “How many days has it been?”

“Five days, I believe,” he replied, his gaze unflinching. “Not that I’ve been counting or anything.”

“Five days and a few hours.” I corrected, reaching up to bind my hair behind me, the feeling of it on my skin causing my body to warm. There was something about being close to Anki’ that gave me a funny feeling in my stomach.

"I was just wondering," Anki' said, his voice neutral. "It's not like I've been waiting around for you or anything. Just...curious, I guess." He cleared his throat, looking away from me. I allowed myself a small smile, finding his discomfort amusing.

“I thought the world didn’t revolve around me.” I said, coming closer to Anki’.

"It doesn't," he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "But it doesn't mean I am not affected by your actions, Neyswa." The sincerity in his voice took me by surprise, leaving me speechless for a moment.

“How do I affect you? I know I was drunk and I said some things I shouldn’t have said but I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

"We may not get along, but your presence, or lack thereof, makes a difference. Each day you were not around, there was a noticeable emptiness. It's not about liking or disliking you, Neyswa. You are a part of this community, and your absence is felt." Anki' confessed, his gaze meeting mine with an intensity that made my heart flutter.

“I was around my clan. The Katotxampay had their tsakarem. You are the Tsahìk of the Syulangrey, your people do not need me. They need you.” I interjected.

“We are all here together, we needed you here for all of us.” He minced his words, keeping them quick and simple with me. “I needed you here.”

I blinked, taken aback by his words. "You... needed me?" It was a strange concept to grasp, feeling wanted by someone who I'd always assumed disliked me. "Why?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, our people meet up every winter and we help each other. I needed your help and-” Anki’ seemed to struggle as he spoke, his hands fists on his thighs. “I wanted to say sorry. I wanted to speak to you.” He admitted, his hands unfurling.

“Why didn’t you come to see me then? Why did you have Hentì send all those flowers.” I said, slamming my hand against the ground.

“I sent those flowers, it was me.” He said, touching his chest. “I picked them for you, I brought them for you. You didn’t even turn around to see me Neyswa, ask yourself why you couldn’t speak to me.” He said, leaning into my eyesight. “I don’t know how to speak to you, I don’t know how to talk to you without feeling how I feel Neyswa, you confuse me. You anger me.”

“Then why did you need me?” I asked, my voice raising slightly. “What do you want from me Anki’. Just tell me!”

"I... I just need to know that you're okay," Anki' said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Your absence... it's like a piece of our community was missing. As much as we argue, Neyswa, I... I care about you." His admission hung in the air, heavy with unspoken feelings.

“If you need me as the tsakarem then you could have come up to me and said so. You don’t need to get so worked up to ask me to help you do what I am supposed to do. It’s settled then, Tsahìk Anki’.” I said curtly, turning away from him as my mother came back into the marui.

Ema’ti came into the marui, a large basket under her arm. Placing it between us, I look inside to see talioang leather, plant fibers, and… wool? I didn’t know the Na’vi had animals that even produced wool.

“Are those for tonight’s ceremony? Are we making things for children?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as she placed material into my lap.

“They are for the children to come, from the mating ceremony.” Anki’ said, picking up a handful of the materials.

“You are mated to someone?” I asked looking up at Anki’. “When? And how many children.” I said, looking through all the material.

Anki’ found someone out of the five days I was gone? I was surprised someone could put up with him enough to even be with him.

“No Neyswa, did your mates not explain to you?” Anki’ said, pulling out a bone needle to begin sewing the materials together.

Looking at my mother, she sighs and instructs me to begin sewing.

“The mating ceremony is the whole reason we are having this ceremony tonight Neyswa. The mated and unmated will show off their talents and then you will be left to speak to others if you choose. All of our clans are here for a reason and that is because we are low in number and can not live on our own. You will do as you please, did Nguyo truly not tell you?” She asked.

"No, he didn't," I sighed, threading the needle. "I suppose I should have asked more questions. I just assumed it was a gathering for us to strengthen our bonds." Anki' chuckled at my admission, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "I should have known better," I added, focusing on my task. “When does it begin?”

"The ceremony will begin once the sun has set," Ema'ti responded, her eyes meeting mine. "You should prepare yourself, Neyswa. This is an important event for our people." I nodded, my mind racing with thoughts of the upcoming ceremony.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 42

“Be still beloved,” I whispered to Nguyo, gently painting his face with jet-black paint.

Nguyo wore his hair up, beautiful golden feathers pinning his hair into a bun on top of his head. It went well with the face paint I’d been etching into his skin for the haka. Na’vi from the reef seemed to have this tradition just like those on planet Earth, it made me wonder just how close our lives truly were. I didn’t have the right to give tattoos so instead I was allowed to give him his moko in paint.

“It’s hard when you’re looking at me like that.” He whispered, his hands snaking around to hold my backside. “Give me a kiss.”

“You’ve had enough kisses.” I scolded, turning his face to the left. He was hard to say no to. “Fine, just one,” I whispered, raising his chin so we were mouth to mouth. Placing a quick kiss on his lips, I am careful not to smear the paint on his cheeks.

“Neyswa, I know we have bonded but I want to mate you at the spirit tree like I should properly. Ik’tanhì and I have spoken of this and want to mate with you as soon as we return home. So do not let anyone take you to the reef tonight, or I will beat them up.” Nguyo spoke softly, holding my body close to his.

“Are you worried I am going to run off with someone who is unmated and seal the deal with them?” I teased, beginning to paint down his flat nose.

His laugh echoed in the room as he nodded, his sea-blue eyes twinkling in the soft evening light. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm worried about, Neyswa," he admitted, his hands tracing the curve of my waist. “I can share you but not with just anyone. I have to protect what is mine.”

I chuckled, drawing the final lines of his moko with a steady hand. "Well, rest assured, darling. My heart belongs only to you and Ik’tanhì," I assured him, a soft smile playing on my lips. “I’ve finished, do not bond with anyone I wouldn’t approve of.” I scolded.

I was hesitant at first when the idea of Nguyo and Ik’tanhì bonding with others came into play. The idea of my mates with someone else made my blood not run as hot as I thought it would. The idea that they could give their love to someone else made me happy yet, a small slice of me did not want it.

“Bonding with anyone? As if anyone else could draw me away. I’ve waited my life for you, I can wait longer.” Nguyo purred against me, his warm chest against my body. “Plus, Ik’tanhì wishes to teach me to use a bow, he thinks it would be best for our plans.”

“Plans?” I ask, leaning down to carefully place a kiss on Nguyo’s lips again, not wanting to smudge his facial paint. “Do you plan on hunting in the forest?”

“No, no beloved,” Nguyo said, picking me up in his arms, and giving me a small spin. “If we are to both mate you, I would like to know how to keep you safe in and out of the water. If anything were to happen to Ik’tanhì or I then the other should be able to keep you safe. Can you see me now, wielding something that is not a spear?”

“The idea is funny, you’re quite big.” Running my hands down his tattooed arms, I give them both a firm squeeze. Nguyo’s body was perfect, it made me almost too giddy to wait till later. In this life and the next, I will always love bigger men. “I could see you wielding anything.”

“I can show you how well I can wield anything.” He whispered, lifting me higher into his thick arms.

“And mess up all my hard work? You could convince me to fight a palulukan hand-to-hand first.” I said, gently rubbing his upper body. “Now place me down, I also need to get ready.”

Lowering me down to the ground, Nguyo sneaks in one more kiss, his lips kissing the tip of my nose and my cheek. Turning away from me, I hear Nguyo gather outside with the other men of the clan.

Preparing paint for Nguyo was easy, mixing together the dried petals was nothing from my years of painting. Preparing paint for myself though? That was harder. I didn’t want to stand out from the other Na’vi, I wanted to shine among our people. Anki’ said the world didn’t revolve around me and he was right, I didn’t need the world to revolve around me. I just wanted to feel happy.

It was funny to think that the last time I’d wore anything this elaborate I’d been shedding my old identity as Georgia Stringer and now I’d been slipping back into myself like an old comfortable coat. I didn’t need to become Neyswa and let Georgia die, I could be both. I thought becoming a Na’vi changed my spirit but I was wrong. It just made me stronger.

One thing that was nice about being Georgia was perfecting my makeup without a mirror. I’d put on enough eyeliner in the back of strobe light-ridden clubs to know how to do so.

Looking over the small clay pots of flower-made paint, I begin to mix and blend the colors needed to suit my blue skin. Memories of me sitting in front of my mother’s vanity came to mind as I carefully blended together the paints. My little body propped up on her lap as I played with her lipsticks and her too-pale foundations.

It felt unreal now to line my eyes with black and to paint my upper eyelids a beautiful shade of gold, the crushed soft shells in the mixture giving my upper eyelids a soft shimmer. Carefully lining my lips with a deep blue, I fill the insides with a soft creamy plum shade.

“Neyswa are you ready?” Ik’tanhì said, coming in behind me.

Looking over my shoulder, he stops in place, his hand going to cover his heart.

“Eywa has given me the most beautiful mate.” He said, coming over to examine me closer. He reached out for my face but I pulled away. “Let me kiss my mate.”

“I just put mak- I just painted my face, I don’t want it to smudge,” I said, narrowly dodging a kiss to my mouth, turning my cheek.

He grumbled slightly at my refusal, but then his eyes traveled down my face to my body. "There are other places to kiss," he said, his voice low like smooth velvet as he placed a tender kiss on my neck. “There are so many places.” He said, his fingers brushing along my collarbone. “You should let me take you to get an ikran tomorrow. We can leave and return faster than anyone would notice.”

“Yes, the inexperienced ikran rider appearing with an ikran will alert no one. I am sure they will see my body falling to the ground.” I joked, my hand brushing down Ik’tanhì’s cheek.

Ik'tanhì chuckled at my comment, his fingers tracing my jawline before he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the other side of my neck. "Even so," he murmured against my skin, "You would be the most beautiful falling star. Plus I would never let you fall, just as I promised. Come, I will escort you.”

Rising with Ik’tanhì, I reach up and gently brush the white strand of hair from in front of my line of vision. I’d been so wrapped up in my own nonsense that sometimes I forgot it was there. It actually reminded me of myself, a sore thumb sticking out for the world to see. The rest of my hair was braided back and looped with beads painted hints of yellow, orange, and soft browns to emulate gold. It looked like golden pearls, woven through my hair. Curiosity is the mother of invention, or however, that quote went.

I felt oddly myself in what I wore. My top which was really just a necklace made from iridescent beads and pearl draped over my chest, each peach reflecting beautifully over my skin. It was nothing like my skirt though which was woven from thin leaves and vines, each strand adorned with small luminescent flowers that echoed the ones I was pinning up into my hair. It felt something saucy to have the skirt hanging so low on my hips but I meant to feel that way.

“You’re shining everywhere, your skin looks like a sky full of stars,” Ik’tanhì whispered as he helped me from the marui. Walking me toward where the other members of the two clans were gathering.

The air was abuzz with excitement, some excited bodies already touching one another. I could see Nguyo speaking to a rather excited crowd of women and men, his large body towering over the others.

“Neyswa?” A familiar voice called from the crowd, parting the open area like a hot knife carving through cool butter. Looking over my shoulder I see Soltok holding hands with Soye, pulling her through the crowd.

Now that I’d seen her up close, she looked rather beautiful. Her eyes were a beautiful sapphire blue and her skin was a rich blue, a few shades lighter than my own. She reminded me of myself oddly, as if I’d been born Neyswa the Na’vi way and not through a spiritual transfer. Soltok looked pretty on her arm, his hair drawn back in a neat braid.

“Tsakarem Neyswa, I have wanted to meet you for so long. You are beautiful.” Soye was like a bright firefly, her movements light and beautiful.

“Says you, Soye. You are everything I wish I could be. Are you sure we are not sisters?” I teased, before looking up at Soltok. “And thank you for the flowers Soltok, they are beautiful. They suit you both well.” I gestured toward the matching flowers in Soye’s hair, the same bright blue flowers in both of their braids.

“Yes.” He was curt as he spoke, his gaze roving over my face and then onto Soye.

“I have no siblings so that would be a joy.” Soye sang, her voice like a warm spring’s day. “I look forward to seeing you later, Neyswa. Soltok and I must go now.” She retracted back into his side and they both moved off into the crowd.

Looking through the crowd, I see a familiar back, bright vibrant flowers woven through each braid.

“I see Hentì, I will say hello,” I said to Ik’tanhì as I gently released him. Carefully slipping through the crowd, I reach a hand through the people, trying to get to Hentì.

You would think he was in a mosh pit from how dense it was around him, with people touching his arm, his hair, and his chest. Nothing new I guessed, the moment Hentì found a mate he’d probably have the role of Tsahìk given to someone who wasn’t Anki.

Getting a firm hold on Hentì, I pull myself through the group of others surrounding him. “Hentì!” calling out to him, I force my arm around his to allow us some space in the small group of people.

Looking down at me quickly, Hentì’s eyes widen and for a moment the scowl he is giving me softens, the pupil of his eye expanding in the low evening light. Stopping in place, in the dense crowd, I feel them begin to move around us, a few touchy hands poking my tail.

“Hentì?” He asked, raising the area where his eyebrow would be. “Do I look like my twin that much?”

Of course.

“Anki’,” I said, attempting to pull my arm from his hold but he held firm, his eyes flickering to my eyes and mouth. “I didn’t know it was you. I didn’t mean to grab you.”

“It’s okay, the spiritual leaders usually walk together.” He said, beginning to move us with the crowd again. “Why did you think I was Hentì?”

Looking him up and down I hold a hand out and he takes it giving it a small squeeze. Yanking my hand away, I gesture at how he was dressed. For once he wasn’t in anything humanlike, instead, he dressed like a Na’vi. Even his braided hair was woven with flowers. Around his shoulders was a cloak of blossoms, the colors all a soft shade of green like his eyes.

“You’re dressed like him, I thought you were him,” I said, shrugging.

“Would you have come if you thought I was myself?”

“No,” I admitted with a small smile. “I don’t think you’d want to fight before a mating ceremony. Don’t need whatever poor girl you’re going to snatch up to get all roughed up.”

“Your face paint, it looks nice.” He cut into what I was saying, reaching a hand up to my face. “Is this something skypeople do?”

“Yes, some people paint their faces. It’s a way to express ourselves. It’s called makeup, I wear mine because it makes me feel prettier.” I said so, before pressing my lips together.

“It looks nice,” he said again, wetting his lips as he spoke, his sharp canines flashing for just a moment.

“Two compliments? Are you trying to make it up to me because you yelled at me beforehand?” I whispered.

"No, I just think you look beautiful," he replied, his gaze softening. "I never noticed how captivating your eyes are when highlighted with such colors."

Feeling that awkward still of my heart in my chest, I withdraw from Anki’ my hands slipping behind my back. It was odd to hear him speak this softly, especially when he didn’t look like this normally. It felt like I was speaking to Hentì. It didn’t fluster me, it made me uncomfortable.

“Anki’, are you sure you’re okay?” I asked playing with my tail. “You sound like Hentì.”

“He spoke to me, he told me what to say. Doesn’t that help, didn’t you want Hentì?”

He looked somewhat hurt as he spoke, his gaze breaking from mine like a stick snapped under too much pressure. It was funny, even when we spoke normally without fighting and without arguing, we snapped at each other. I wonder if this is what my father meant by calling me a small fish in a big pond. Had I now become a big fish, nipping at another big fish?

Saying nothing, I keep a hold of Anki’ as we walk toward the caves from before.

“The caves? Will there be enough space for a ceremony down there?” I asked, my hold on Anki’ tightening in the darkness.

"Yes," Anki' replied, his voice echoing slightly in the cavernous space. "These caves are deep, there are more than you could count. And no Kava either.” He said, looking me up and down. “Neither of us should be drunk together.”

"You mean to tell me I wasn’t a delight when I was drunk and calling you unfuckable?" I ask in a whisper. Continuing down the cave system, I smile as we pass through the main cave system. It was quieter today, more intimate.

"Neyswa, your drunken ramblings were... entertaining," Anki' replied, his voice a mix of amusement and annoyance. "But I'd prefer my interactions with you to be sober and coherent. And as for being 'unfuckable,' remember, that tonight when you are watching others flock to me."

I rolled my eyes at his blatant arrogance, but I couldn't help the chuckle that slipped from my lips. "Yes, Anki', I'm sure you'll have quite the crowd," I replied, playfully nudging him with my shoulder. “You would be happy to know there are a number of young women vying for your hand in my clan.”

“I don’t want them.” He said bluntly, directing us toward a tunnel in the back of the main cave.

“Why not?” I asked, reaching a hand out to feel along the cavern wall.

"They do not interest me," he replied, his voice echoing off the cave walls. "I have my own reasons and preferences, Neyswa." His response was cryptic but firm, leaving no room for further inquiry.

“Understandable.” I sighed as we began to head downward.

“We are here.” He said, his grip on me releasing as we came into the large room.

I thought the ceremony room was something to gawk at. This? This was unreal. The walls had crystals sticking out of them, large thick pillars of quartz driving through the ceiling and down into the ground. The ceiling was covered in the same glowing lichen from before, giving the illusion of a starry sky. Deeper into the belly of the cave you could make out a strange structure of twisting walkways, connecting with each other and the various wall surfaces. In the center was a large shallow pool of water, an obvious stage for whatever performances were going to be put on.

“This looks, insane,” I said, reaching out to lay a hand on one of the crystals. "It's like we're inside a dream," I murmured, my fingers tracing over the smooth, cool surface of the crystal.

“Come, we shouldn’t stray behind.” He said, motioning for me to follow him as people began to fill in the spots on the walkway. “We will sit at the bottom. That is where performances are best seen and heard.”

“Will you perform?” I asked.

"No," Anki' chuckled, his eyes sparkling in the crystal light. "I will be observing tonight, just like you.”

“I am not observing,” I said, taking a seat at the bottom of the walkway, and pulling my knees up to my chest. “What made you think that? I wasn’t going to but then I thought about what you said, how you needed me to pull my weight as a Tsakarem. Technically I’ve not mated fully with Nguyo and Ik’tanhì so I said why not.” Shrugging I give Anki’ a happy smile.

“Oh,” He looked at my mouth then eyes, and then looked away. “You will join in?” He sat up, straightening his posture. “Will you take someone?”

"I don't know yet," I responded, my gaze following the movement of the people as they moved about the room. "I might choose someone with a lot of muscle or maybe someone very handsome, the bigger the better. I like strong men.”

Anki' gave me an unreadable look, his lips pressed into a fine line. "Well, in that case, I wish you luck in finding your perfect match tonight, Neyswa.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 43

Watching Nguyo perform his haka was something beautiful. Every movement he made, every part of the chants he said, it was like the strength of our people was being proclaimed to everyone. Our small clan suffered so much loss because of my father’s selfishness. To see our people continue to thrive and blossom stirred something inside of me. I know it might have sounded foolish but seeing Nguyo leading the haka left me feeling solid on him being out Olo’eyktan. I could see why so many people admired him and wanted him to be his. Yet somehow he fell for me, he wanted me.

I wondered if one day he would teach this performance to our children and if they would display the same pride once our clan grew in size under our leadership. Would I be the kind of mate that would make Nguyo feel this level of pride?

As the haka came to an end, I carefully reached under my eyes, carefully trying to pat away any tears that had formed. I was pretty sure my makeup was waterproof but I didn’t want to risk anything. Seeing Nguyo come forward, he kneels in front of me with a smile, his smile illuminating his angelic face.

“Did you enjoy, beloved?” He asked, reaching a gentle hand out toward my face.

"Yes," I responded, my voice wavering as I spoke. "You were incredible, Nguyo. I’m so proud of you." I reached out to gently touch his hand with mine, an affectionate smile playing on my lips.

His smile widened at my words, and he gently squeezed my hand. “I love you.” He said, searching my eyes for something he must have found because he leaned forward placing a kiss on my cheek. “With everything I am, I love you.”

"I love you too, Nguyo," I whispered back, my heart swelling with adoration for him.

“And hello, Anki’” Nguyo said standing up, his brilliant smile on his face as he sat down beside me. “Has Neyswa told you what she will perform?”

"No, she hasn't," Anki' replied, shifting his gaze to me. "What have you decided to perform, Neyswa?" His interest was genuine, a hint of curiosity dancing in his eyes.

“Just you watch,” I said, standing up from between them. “I think I should go next, yes?”

Nguyo seemed to sit up as I stepped into the center of the waters, his eyes as eager as ever. Placing a hand on my chest, I try to steady my breathing, my eyes fluttering some from the soft lighting. Clearing my throat, I inhale deeply and look out toward Nguyo, he was my focal point, he was my foundation.

“Hello everyone, I am Neyswa but I am sure you know that by now. I will be singing for you today and it will be a sky people song. It is not because I do not know the songs of our people but an ode to my past life. Someone once told me, that death is only the beginning and that if there were no beginnings there would be no endings. So please, listen to my heart’s song.” I said, nervously wringing my fingers before looking back to Nguyo.

Hearing a sharp whistle, a few of the clan members begin to laugh and I chuckle.

“Will you let me come closer to you? I know that you're older, but what can I do? I leave in the morning I'll forget that I am surely falling.” I watched as Nguyo held one of his legs to his chest, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Grew up in a case of fragile glass. But hammer away it's time to crash, and as it shatters let me shatter into you,” I paused, my voice ricocheting off the crystals, the clan no silent as I sang. I swear you could hear the birds go silent. “The soft candle glow, the music so slow, your skin on my skin, the room is spinning, nerve in my bone, I'm shaking oh no, I'm talking though I shouldn't be, I've lost all sensibility, I've never been so fragile.”

My gaze trickled from Nguyo to the Na’vi around us, some of them looking at me with shocked faces. I didn’t know if I should be happy or offended that they looked at me like this. Catching sight of Anki’ he sits there, his piercing gaze trained on my face.

“It's been a year and forty days since you picked me up and swept me away I wanted to run with you into the midnight sun with you. Now I sit around and rust in rain, turn into dust as I just wait, for somеone to hold me like you did that night I still rеmember.” Gently moving in a circle, I try to catch the gaze of everyone who sat down. I wanted to make my mother proud too and I’d be damned if I sung and didn’t draw in everyone with it. Word got around but apparently my mother had points of her own to prove to the other elders. “The soft candle glow, the music so slow, your skin on my skin, the room kept spinning, round I’m alone, new town on my own, I’m missing you I shouldn’t be, I’ve lost all sensibility, I’ve never been so fragile.”

As I finished, I listened to my voice come to nothing but an echo leaving the cave quiet until Nguyo let out a happy hoot. Watching the members of our clan cheer happily, they continue their cheering even as I approach Nguyo taking a seat beside him.

“You didn’t tell me you could sing.” Anki’ said, his chest heaving as he looked up at me.

"I didn't think it was important," I responded, shrugging nonchalantly. "There are many things you don't know about me, Anki'."

The night bled into itself, hours of watching others show off their talents and skills, it was beautiful yet tiring. I watched pair after pair move off with each other, Nguyo leaving an hour into the ceremony to assist Ik’tanhì. I was left with Anki’ who just kept sneaking glances at me until.

“What, what are you looking at?” I whispered as another Na’vi came toward us only to be growled off by Anki’. “Did Ik’tanhì tell you to growl at everyone who approaches?”

“No, I just need them to keep their hands on straight, we have a mating ceremony to hold, remember?” Anki’ took my hand in his. “We are in this together, yes? That is all I ask of you. That is all I want from you.”

“I can do that.”

After the performances, I stood side by side with Anki’ both of us doing our due diligence for the clans. According to him, this consisted of handing out drinks and blessings for unions and fertility. I didn’t know what they had in this stuff but it seemed like enough to get everyone going. I’d seen at least two groups of people making out.

Anki’ gently nudged my shoulder, holding out a small brown clay bowl of cool liquid for me.

“You want me to drink the tea that’s getting everyone all hopped up?” I asked, reaching out for the bowl.

“I want you to drink the tea because it’s for the ceremony. You do not need to worry about getting hopped up.” Anki’ said, putting the bowl in my hand.

“Says the man who has had three bowls of the stuff and you keep getting flirty glances every time you hand a bowl over. No one is batting eyelashes at the tsakarem stopping them from getting it on with their lover.” I said, rolling my eyes.

Despite my teasing, I took the bowl from Anki’ and sipped the liquid. It was sweet, with a slight tang that left my lips tingling. I couldn't help but notice Anki’s amused smile at my surprised expression.

“It’s not Kava but it’s delicious.” My skin warmed as I threw back the rest of the liquid.

“It’s enough.” Anki’ said, his eyes flitting down to my feet and up to the top of my head.

Anki’ looked away from me as another man approached, his growling sending the male in the opposite direction.

“And you’re growling at people again.” I said, passing my bowl back over to Anki’. “Why don’t you go off and get laid,” I said, pointing into the crowd.

“Get lait?” He said, pouring another ladle of liquid into the bowl. “Do you mean mating? Bonding?” He said, drinking from the same bowl he’d just given me.

“Yes, sort of. I’m not saying you need to mate someone and have a lifelong partner but it would be nice to see you with someone. See you less stiff.” I said nudging his arm. “Hentì seems to be having a good time.”

We both looked up from our positions to see Hentì flirting with a woman from my clan, his thin long fingers curling through her hair. His other hand drifted along her thick sea-green tail. Any closer and they might as well give us all a show. Seeing their intimacy though, made me crave Ik’tanhì and Nguyo but they were gone doing who knows what. Instead, I was left with Anki’ who seemed as stiff as usual. Everything he’d said to me was less than a few words. Everything he gave me was withdrawn. He’d even cringed away when I accidentally brushed against him. My skin was too warm, his too cool. You would think he was a flame and I was gunpowder from the way he avoided me.

“Neyswa, it is?” A young man came by, his voice deep and confident as he slid in front of us.

He was definitely from the Syulangrey, everything about him was flowery except for his body. He looked like a hunter, scars etched into his face. Yet his attire? He wore his loincloth low, low enough to have your eyes dip down twice. His skin was painted with flowers, the flowers on his skin woven into the braid on his head, the sides of his head shaven low enough to give him a youthful look.

“You are even more beautiful up close,” he continued, his gaze locked on me. “Would you like to take a walk with me?

"No, she will not," Anki' interjected, his voice steady and firm. He stood, his height easily overbearing the man. "As your Tsahìk, I must insist that you find someone else to accompany you on your walk. Find someone in your own clan." His tone left no room for argument, and the young man quickly retreated, leaving us alone once more.

“As your Tsahìk? I didn’t think you were one to toss your title around.” I scoffed crossing my arms. “And he seemed nice. Why did you drive him away? Are the men of your clan unsavory? You keep driving them all away so they must be.”

“O'ten is a fine hunter. He is loyal and quick on his feet. There is nothing about him that is unsavory. He is just not fit for someone like you, you need someone like Nguyo who is kind and strong, or someone like Ik’tanhì who is fierce and honest. You are the tsakarem you should know what you want.” He handed over the bowl, spooning in more of the tea.

Looking at Anki’ in disbelief, I chuckle and chug down the rest of the cool tea. Licking my lips and chin clean I shove the bowl back into his hands.

“Are you Hentì?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. The smile on my face dropped.

“What?”

“I asked, are you Hentì? Your brother talks to me in circles, being kind to me only when he wants something, and most of the time that relates to being kind to you. You’re talking to me in circles. You want me to be a part of this time while my people are here with your people. It feels too controlling, you’re controlling and you’re speaking to me in circles and you can’t even tell me what you want but you think you could tell me what I need?” I snapped. “You can’t sit with me and want us to hold hands when you can’t even speak to me, you can’t speak to me as Hentì’s younger brother.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” He asked, his face a mask of frustration. The calm facade he’d had finally cracked.

“Why does that matter right now? You know what, I don’t care. Just make your choice to make me your friend or keep me at a distance. Make up your mind right now.” I whispered, taking a step away from him.

His hands clenched the bowl he’d been holding, his mouth set in a tight line.

“Damn it, Neyswa!” He growled, his voice cutting through the festivities. A few onlookers from the crowd turned to face us as Anki’ through the clay bowl to the ground.

Being grasped on the arm, he yanks my body behind his leading me through the belly of the cave and into a smaller rocky passage. The sounds of chatting and celebration faded into the background until all I could hear was the sound of our footsteps and Anki’s ragged breathing.

Finally, he came to a stop in front of a cave that seemed to be away from the rest. Without saying a word, he roughly pushed me inside and pinned me against the wall. His face was inches from mine, his eyes dark with frustration and something else I couldn’t identify.

“Stop, stop asking me if I’m Hentì.” He growled. “You should wish that I were Hentì. My brother is kind, he is soft and everything that I am not Neyswa.”

“Let go of me, why would I wish for you to be Hentì? Is Hentì the one I’ve been fighting to befriend?” I said, my teeth gritted as he held me in place.

“Wait, listen to me, you asked me to talk so let me speak to you.” Anki’ said so, sliding his hands down my shoulders onto my upper arms.

“Fine, you get five minutes then leave me alone. I mean it.” I said so, my own breathing becoming ragged. I didn’t know if it was the close confined space or the effects of the tea kicking in but every time he touched my arms they ignited with warmth.

“You’re too soft, too sweet, too kind. My clan has to protect sacred land and I’ve seen many blossoms on that land Neyswa, you’re like those blossoms. You’re delicate and I was never taught how to be delicate with flowers. I grew up fighting sky people, I shouldn’t want you like I want you right now. You’ve been in my mind since we met Neyswa.” He was honest and stern, his arms that pinned me to the wall now turning me around so my stomach was flush against it.

It was like a soothing balm being applied to the oven my body was becoming. Cool hard stone and hot soft hands.

“And don’t tell me I get five minutes to speak to you Neyswa.” He leaned into me, his fingers trailing around my side to hold my stomach. “If I brought you here to do what I wanted you wouldn’t need five minutes.” He spoke in English, his mouth sliding over my neck while his hand rested below my navel.

Everything he said sent a wave of heat to my stomach and then my cheeks. I tried to steady my breathing, to steady my pounding heart but I knew that it was useless. Everything he said was a surprise even though I had an inkling of knowing how he felt. Looking over my shoulder at him, I sighed, my voice barely more than a whisper as I said, “Anki’, I never asked you to be delicate.”

You would think fireworks went off in Anki’s and I’s brains because in a matter of moments he was on me, his mouth on mine, and his hands clutching my sides. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t and I couldn’t even blame the damn tea.

"You're insufferable," Anki' muttered against my lips, his hands tangling in my hair as he deepened our kiss. He pulled back slightly, his breath ragged as he looked into my eyes. "I can't stand how much I think about you, how much I want to be rid of you, yet here I am, unable to let you go."

“That’s your fault. I tried to not see you, I tried to not think about you. I shouldn’t think about the man who hates me because of my spirit and because of my body.” I said so, the lust and anger in my chest tugging at one another. “You’re the worst Anki’.”

He cut me off, pressing my lips back into his, my body turning in his hands, being hoisted from the ground. Weaving my fingers through his long black braids I hold him against me, his grip on my waist tightening as he pins me between himself and the wall. Gasping from the simple touch, he wastes no time, letting his lips trail down the side of my neck. Anki’ sucked, Anki’ literally sucked and I refused to let him hear me enjoying myself if he touched me. Biting down on my knuckles to keep quiet, I lock my legs around him. Our bodies were pressed close together, the heat between us intensifying by the second. Anki’ trembled as he held me, his hands slipping my top off, his mouth leaving a fiery trail of kisses down the center of my chest.

My breathing hitched in my throat as he raised me higher, my hands locked in his hair. He paused his kisses looking up at me with an intensity that made my heart race.

“You don’t deserve me, you don’t deserve this.” Anki’ said lowering me back to the ground. “You’re spoiled, you think the world is yours.” He panted the air around us thick and heavy.

"I'm not the one who dragged you into a cave to confess my feelings, Anki'," I retorted, my heart pounding in my chest. His words stung, but the passion in his eyes told a different story. "And you're right, I don't deserve this. I deserve someone who won't push me away."

“You’re right,” Anki’ agreed, his voice a hoarse whisper. Yet, as he spoke his hands reached up, his thumbs rubbing sweet crescents under my breasts. His eyes were dark and intense, his lips pressing down onto my own. “You deserve better, this is why I could not speak. I also deserve better. You deserve someone like Hentì.”

"You’re so annoying, you know?" I whispered against his lips, my hands reaching up to cup his face. Our breaths mingled, our bodies pressed so close I could feel his heartbeat against my own. "I don’t want you to be Hentì. I don’t want better right now.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, slipping his hand under my skirt, his fingers pushing against my undergarment. “I know you think I’m unfuckable.” He threw my words back in my face, his fingers yanking down my skirt.

"You're infuriating, Anki'," I shot back, my hands sliding down to grip his shoulders tightly.

Anki’ pressed himself against me, the hardness under his loincloth quite evident. His hands found my hips, pulling me even closer as he started to move against me. Each shift of movement sent waves of pleasure coursing through me, causing me to gasp. My moans echoed around the cave, the sound amplified by Anki’s own breathy grunts, his hands forcing my body into his. He didn’t take off his own clothing, he wasn’t inside me and yet it felt just as good to have his body grinding into my own.

Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine, the sensation I’d felt long ago coming back to the service. Looking away from Anki’ for a moment, my eyes meet the shadowy entrance of a cave across from ours. Two figures stood there, their bodies faintly illuminated by the glowing crystals in the cave. If I’d been any quieter I might have noticed them earlier. There in the darkness, body to body stood Soltok and Soye. I couldn’t quite make out what they were doing but it wasn’t rocket science. One thing I could see though was Soltok’s blood-orange eyes peering at Anki’ and me through the darkness as he held onto Soye.

“Anki’” I moaned, his fingers digging into my sides as he got rougher with me. “Anki’ wait.” My thighs clenched around his body as he held me.

"Anki', stop," I finally managed to gasp out, my voice echoing off the cave walls. His movements halted at my words, his body stiffening against mine as he looked down at me, confusion evident in his hungry eyes.

“We need to stop, we have to stop. Someone is watching us.” I whispered, using his body to shield mine.

His eyes followed my gaze to the entrance of the cave, and he stiffened further, a low growl rumbling in his chest. Without another word, Anki' gently set me down and moved to stand protectively in front of me, his eyes never leaving the shadowy figures in the entrance.

“Dress Neyswa,” Anki’ knelt down to pick up my clothes, handing them back to me. “It would not be proper to have us put on a viewing.”

Quickly slipping my things back on, I reach up and try to adjust my hair which is now frazzled. It was clear that I’d need to clean my face off too because Anki’ was covered in paint now.

“Thank you for opening up about how you felt,” I said softly, reaching out to take his hand only to have him retract.

“Don’t touch me, we shouldn’t. I can barely handle myself now. One touch and I won’t care who is watching, I’ll take you on the cave floor.” Anki’ said, adjusting himself.

“Before you leave, you should clean up. Your face is covered in mak- covered in paint.” Reaching up to his lips, I gently try to wipe away the blend of plum from his mouth.

He stopped me, catching my wrist gently. "Neyswa," he murmured, his eyes holding mine captive. "I can take care of myself. Go back to the celebrations. I'll... I'll see you there." With that, he turned away, leaving me alone in the cave with my thoughts.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 44

I lay on the ground of my marui, Nguyo and Ik’tanhì both sleeping on either side of me, their hands resting over my body like a cage of muscle. It was comforting but only because it was so cold, hell, even the caves were warmer than this. We’d all opted for the ground because I opted for the ground. I couldn’t let myself be in a nivi with both of them, I was too hyper.

Sitting up between them both, Ik’tanhì stirs awake and reaches out to hold my cheek in his hand.

When I’d come back pent up and on edge he was gentle with me, helping me ‘shake’ off the needs I wanted.

“Neyswa? Are you okay?” He whispered, leaning in to kiss my cheek and temple. “Are you still-”

“No, no I’m fine. You should sleep.” I whispered back, reaching out to hold his face. “I just feel energized, I can’t sleep.”

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Nguyo said, his face buried in his arm as he turned to look at the both of us. “We can take you.”

“No no, I can walk on my own,” I said, standing up and stretching my limbs.

“Are you sure you aren’t going to kiss Anki’ again?” Nguyo huffed, sitting up fully now.

"No, Nguyo," I retorted, rolling my eyes at him. "I'm just going for a walk, nothing else. I'll be back soon." Leaning down, I quickly kiss his cheek. “If you get lonely maybe you can try to kiss Tanhì.”

“I would sooner join the RDA.” Joked Tanhì’. Bending over, I press a kiss to his mouth, the sweet taste of him waking me up some more. “Be swift, it is colder without you.”

“Can I take your shawls?” I ask, going for both of their clothing racks. “I will keep them clean I promise.”

With a nod from both of them, I quickly grab their shawls, wrapping them around my body. The warmth of the clothes and the scent of them bring an immediate sense of comfort. "I'll be back soon," I say, giving them a reassuring smile before stepping out into the night.

Everything was still so lively, even at night. The chattering of birds, the sway of the ocean, and the echoing of the cave. It almost sounded like the gentle playing of a flute. Taking a step into the mouth of the cave, I gently run my fingers over the side, the smooth and bumpy edges of the cave covered in beautiful glowing moss. Everything was aglow, even the flowers in my hair shimmered in the near darkness of the cave. My eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly, the sound of a flute picking up louder than before.

Turning down a passage in the caves, I stop when I see the figure before me. They’d been sat in front of a large fire, their hands on a bone flute as they played by themself.

“Soltok?” I asked, stepping into the small room. “You should be sleeping with everyone else unless you’re too excited from your time with Soye.” I teased, coming over to take a seat beside him.

“I think I should say the same to you. I saw you with Anki’, I’m surprised. I thought you would be with your mates.” Soltok placed the flute in his hands giving it a firm squeeze.

"I needed some fresh air after all that happened," I confessed, pulling one of the shawls tighter around my body. "I didn't expect to see anyone else out here, let alone you playing the flute so beautifully."

Holding my hand out for the flute, he pulls it away and shakes his head no.

“It was my father’s flute,” We were both silent as he turned the flute around in his hands. “You and Anki’, really?” He asked, coming back to the topic with a surprised smile. “Did Nguyo punch him for kissing you?”

"No, he didn't punch anyone," I replied with a soft chuckle, remembering Anki's fervor. "It's...complicated. But they trust me, and that's what matters. How about you and Soye? You two seem quite taken with each other. I didn’t think you were such a…” The words couldn’t come to mind.

“Why Anki’?” He asked, clutching the bone flute. “Did you mate with Anki’ after you two left?”

"No, we didn't mate," I responded, feeling a blush creep up my neck. "As I said, it's complicated. I don't know where Anki' and I stand right now. What about you and Soye? You never answered my question." I redirected the focus back onto him, hoping to change the subject.

“You came to the celebration looking for someone to mate though,” Soltok said, not answering my question. Turning toward me he rests his arms on his legs. “Did he not satisfy you?”

"Soltok, that's not the point," I said, feeling flustered. "Anki' and I...we just shared a moment, that's all. It doesn't change anything between me and my mates. And again, you're avoiding my question about Soye."

"Soye and I... we have a connection," Soltok admitted, his eyes softening. "But it's not like what you have with your mates. As for what happened between you and Anki'... I saw the way you looked when he touched you. The way you closed your eyes and leaned into him... I could do the same for you, Neyswa, if not better."

“So in the same breath, you’re telling me you have feelings for Soye but you’re also hitting on me?” I said with a chuckle. “Have you had too much to drink tonight?”

Soltok moved closer to me, his warm breath fanning over my skin. He leaned in, whispering so quietly that I had to strain to hear him. "Neyswa, I could make you feel things you've never imagined," he murmured, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "I could make you forget about Anki', about Nguyo and Ik’tanhì. Just give me a chance, and I'll show you a world of pleasure they never could."

Maybe he did have too much to drink but that was hours ago. He had nothing around him now, no bowls, no cups. Nothing.

“I don’t need you to show me a world of pleasure my mates do more than enough to please me and with Anki’, it’s like I said, it’s complicated. If I wanted someone to fuck me I would ask them to fuck me. I don’t need you for that.” I moved away, standing up in front of the flames, the uncomfortable warmth lapping at my heels.

Soltok looked at me through the darkness, the feeling causing an uneasy beating in my chest. Standing up as well, he closes the distance between us, his hands touching the air around my shoulders before clamping down on them.

“You misunderstand me, Neyswa,” he said, his voice soft and firm as he led me back across the burning coals, the pain searing through my feet as he followed.

“You’re scaring me,” I whispered, my back pinned to the cave wall. I’d been less scared of the Thanator that chased me on my first day here. Beasts were scary, men were terrifying.

“I am not trying to scare you, I just think you misunderstand me, Neyswa,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I’m not just talking about physical pleasure.” His hands slid down my arms, his face close to mine.

I wanted to move but I was frozen in place, my limbs as heavy as my heart as he placed his too cold mouth on my cheek.

“I’m talking about a connection deeper than anything you’ve ever experienced. I could make you feel loved, cherished, and desired in ways that you’ve never even dreamed of. All you have to do is let me.”

I stared at him, taken aback by his words and actions. His gaze was intense, burning with an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. His tongue slid down my neck, licking at the sensitive skin beneath my collarbone.

“Soltok, I… I need some time to think,” I finally said, forcing my hands to push him away from me. He was stronger though, his body molding against mine.

With a sigh, Soltok reluctantly took his hands off of me. His eyes, however, remained locked onto mine. "Why don't you want me, Neyswa?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His question held so much emotion, and I could see the hurt flicker in his gaze.

“Because I don’t love you. It’s simple. I barely know you Soltok. All I did was help you when you were hurt-”

“You saved my life, Neyswa!” He screamed, the anger in his voice palatable. “You bonded with me Neyswa. I need you to love me like you love them.” His hand went into my hair, plucking forth one of the flowers he’d given to me.

"No, Soltok, that's not how it works," I said, my voice shaking as I tried to maintain my composure. "Bonding doesn't mean I have to love you. You are a good person and I’d like to think you’re just having a drunk fit. You have Soye, you should put your focus into her.”

“I don’t need her, I need you. From the moment I first saw you, I needed you.” He crushed the flower in his hands, the bioluminescent juices soaking his hand. “I need you.” His hand went over my mouth, shoving the flower between my lips.

His fingers forced themselves into my mouth, pushing the delicate bud into the back of my throat. Slamming my fists into his chest, I try to force him off of me, the flower making my throat and tongue feel numb in my mouth.

“I tried my best Neyswa. I was going to come tonight but Soye is so clingy. I was so close to giving up but you came here, you’re my gift from Eywa.” He held my throat tight, pushing the bud further down my throat. I would have vomited it but I could barely breathe, I didn’t want to inhale but I did, and with that, the flower slid down my throat.

Falling over to the ground, I reach up and hold my throat. The flower made my throat tighten and my gaze blurred almost instantly. Reaching my fingers into the back of my throat, I push them deep trying to vomit the flower up when Soltok comes over, gently pulling my hand away.

“Stop it Neyswa, before you hurt yourself.” He tried to soothe me, his hand reaching down to stroke the lower of my back.

Using the bit of strength my numb hand has, I reach around, slamming my fist into his nose. Crawling across the ground, I wipe the drool from my mouth as it begins to pool in my mouth.

“Get away from me!” Slurring my words, I force myself to my feet and begin to head down the nearest hall.

I stumbled and nearly fell as the dizziness hit me. I could feel Soltok's gaze on me, but I didn't dare to turn back. I needed to get away, to find help, and to warn the others about what had just happened. Soltok was crazy, he was fucking insane. Digging my fingers into the moss on the wall, I pull myself deeper into the halls. I could barely see, barely make out what was a light and what was a gap in the stone.

“Neyswa, please, just come back,” Soltok called out to me, as I fell to my knees, dragging myself along the bottom of the cave hall.

Licking my numb lips with my numb tongue I look over my shoulder to see nothing but shadows behind me. Turning around, I feel my hand touch something soft and I look forward to see Soye, her eyes closed and her body limp in front of me. Reaching a shaking hand out toward her I grasp her arm. No warmth, just a hollow shell.

“Don’t touch her.” Snapped Soltok, coming over to grab my hand.

Looking up at him, I let out a weak hiss. “What did you do to her?”

“Aww, little kitten.” Soltok hissed back playfully, squatting in front of me. “You are crawling before me and you are worried about her?” He reached out for my chin but I snapped my head down, sinking my teeth into his finger.

With a chuckle, Soltok reached down and lifted me up onto his shoulder, Soye’s body being slung over his other.

“You know, when we first came here I went into these caves every day? I helped Soye place flowers and lanterns. I had her tell me about every little flower Neyswa.” Soltok spoke to me sweetly, his honeyed words echoing off the thinning walls as he walked us deeper into the caves. “All it took was affection. I’ve seen men and women die for affection, it’s too strong. Do you think your mates would die for affection?”

My eyelids grew heavy as he spoke, every inch of me fighting to stay awake. I couldn’t let this happen, I couldn’t. Trying to get any inch of my hands to move, my finger twitches.

He brought us to a body of water in the cave, his free arm effortlessly tossing in Soye’s body. Feeling my skin grow slick, Soltok chuckles as I groan in his arms.

“Don’t worry Neyswa. I won’t let any harm come to you.” Slowly helping me into the water, he takes us both under and I feel myself panic for a few moments, water flooding my nose as he lifted me close enough to the top of the cave to breathe. Coughing up the burning water from my lungs, he carefully takes me across, pushing my body onto the rocks, Nguyo and Ik’tanhì’s shawls both soaking up and repelling the cold water on my skin.

I felt my body go limp as the cold seeped into my bones. The last thing I remembered before everything went black was the eerie glow of the cave's bioluminescent flowers reflecting in Soltok's eyes, and his voice whispering in my ear, "I'll take care of you, Neyswa."

I faded in and out of consciousness, my body pulled from cave to cave. I didn’t know how long Soltok had me and Soye’s corpse but when he pulled us into the open air, everything was night. I wondered where Nguyo and Ik’tanhì were right now, I wondered what they were doing. If they were waiting patiently for me to return.

“Why?” I croaked out, my voice a pinch above audible.

“Why?” He said, propping up Soye’s body against a tree, his hands yanking her songchord from her skirt. “Because I need you.”

“Why!” I said, my voice a pinch louder as I lick my lips.

Letting my head loll behind me, I look into the sky, a bright star streaking across the sky as Soltok pulls his flute from his hip. Bringing it up to his lips, he plays a gentle song, the notes almost washed away by the wind. A loud growl tore from the jungle behind me, warm air shoving the plants and my hair forward.

That dangerous chill licked at my spine, the same feeling I’d felt time and time again.

“Because like I said Neyswa.” Coming over to me, he gently unties my songchord from my own skirt, bringing it over to the sand. Tossing it beside Soye’s body he smiles.

Watching the two stars get closer my heart begins to pound in my chest as six large lights drop from those stars heading straight for the beach.

“No, no! Please, Soltok!” Crying out, I watch the lights slam into the beach, loud explosions slamming into the area where everyone was moments ago.

Watching the beach and jungle go up in flame, missile after missile slams into the area where so many were. The Syulangrey, the people of the Katotxampay, my people. My mother, my family, my mates. They were all being buried under fire and missiles. The air was clouded with debris and fog as hot tears began to run down my cheeks.

“I need you,” Soltok said, the fire on the beach dancing on his eyes as the toruk came forward, its large body moving behind Soltok.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 45

Nguyo’s POV

I'll be back soon

“Neyswa, this is embarrassing,” I whispered to her, my covered hands gliding up and down the sides of her body. She was so warm, she’d been warm ever since she changed. “You think the kids will like this?”

I held up my hands, crude puppets on both of them. Neyswa made them herself, she said it would be a nice toy for the children, and that children back on her original planet enjoyed these things.

“What is so embarrassing? You will be their Olo’eyktan, if you don’t want to do it then you can say that.” Her nose wrinkled, a little habit she had when she’d been annoyed. Her dainty fists were balled at her hips before she tried to take the puppets back.

“No! My beloved, I only meant the puppets are too small for my hands.” Raising both hands upward, I give my fingers an uncomfortable wiggle. “Maybe they would be better suited for you.”

Slipping the puppets from my hands, Neyswa sighs and nods.

“I guess you’re right. I just wanted to show the children some things I think they would like. I should have brought my tablet. I could have put on a movie for them.” She turned the puppets over in her hands, placing them on the ground of the marui.

Her use of Na’vi and 'Ìnglìsì was always so cute. Like her tongue was still adjusting to the insides of her mouth. I wanted to help her and I’d offered but she was so stubborn.

“What are you looking at? Is there something on my face?” She seemed to panic, reaching up to wipe away at nothing. “I need a mirror.” She groaned.

“Yes, there is actually. It’s right,” Placing my fingers under her chin, I turn her face to the side, leaning in to give her a kiss. “Something here, and,” turning her face to the other side I place down another kiss. “Oh and-”

“Stop that!” She said, her five-fingered hands moving in front of my mouth. Her cheeks flushed with color as she pulled away from me. “We are discussing toy-making you and you are in the mood to kiss?” Her thick accent made the words come out slightly jumbled as she spoke. “Jesus.”

“I don’t know who Yeysu is, but you mention him a lot. Is that a nickname? Am I your Yeysu?” I ask her. She’d cried out Yeysu many times when I touched her.

“No! You’re not Yeysu she said with a giggle. Just, no kissing. Well,” She hesitated before leaning in to press her soft mouth to mine.

Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her off the ground and allow her to kiss me with ease. Neyswa was so light in my arms, like a piece of wood that I could snap if I were not gentle enough. The first time I’d made love to her was too rough, her skin had the bruises to prove it but she was happy to have them. She said she wanted more but I didn’t want to lose myself in her and end up bringing her pain.

“Sweet Yeysu.” She said, parting from our kiss, a bright twinkle in her eye.

"I love you, my beloved," I whispered into her ear, as I lowered her back to the ground, my heart pounding in my chest. It still felt so unreal to have a mate who adored me.

“I love you too Nguyo.” She said in an equal whisper, her voice drowned out by the sound of a noise behind me as she spoke. “Now where am I?” She said looking around. “Let me get some more things for the toys, I’ll be back soon.”

Brother.

“You promise?” I ask with a chuckle, reaching out to grasp her hand.

Brother.

“I promise.” She said, slipping away from me.

“Brother!” My sister stood in front of me, her hands trembling as she held out a bowl of food. “You should eat.” Yula’vo’s voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke.

Blinking the tired from my eyes, I look beside me where Neyswa just was, nothing there but the singed remains of the marui I stood in. The air still smelled of blood and metal, something near gut-wrenching to smell. Looking in front of me, I stare down at my sister, her under eyes darkened from lack of sleep.

“I am not hungry, I’m busy,” I said, prying the human’s now cold metal from the side of her marui.

Thick grey chunks of the metal embedded itself in the wall, some of it close enough to have almost sliced into her body.

“It has been a week, please. She would want you to eat.” Yula’vo came closer, the bowl outstretched as her voice wavered.

I’ll be back soon

“I will eat when she returns,” I smile at my sister, “She said she will be back soon. I am sure she just ran, Neyswa is gentle, she is probably just hiding.”

Hoisting the chunk up, I bring it outside and throw it into the pile along with the rest of the trash left behind from the human attack. Yula’vo was among the lucky ones. Her marui took damage but it still stood. Weyvawla was quick, he saved his family from the destruction.

“Then you could sleep. You’ve not slept much.” My sister followed, the bowl not clenched in her hands.

“Sleep when she could arrive at any second? She will be worried to see that nothing has been done.” Chuckling, I reach down to the pile of metal, carefully sifting through the pieces to see some of the chunks painted red in what I hoped was dye. “Do you know where her things are? When the marui went up in flames I could not grab her things.”

Yula’vo shook her head, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "She would want you to eat. It is her favorite, the hunters caught a large bunch of these fish." She whispered, the pain evident in her voice. The bowl of food in her hands seemed heavier now.

“I will eat with her!” I snapped, turning around to toss a piece of metal at her feet.

Seeing the pain on her face and tiredness in her eyes, Yula’vo nods and places down the bowl of roast fish and pounded root.

“I’m sorry. I’m just very tired,” Taking up the chunk of metal, I place it back on the pile going. “Have Ema’ti woke up?”

“No, she is still sleeping. Her wounds are healing though, they are better. I think It is the shock of what happened that is keeping her down. She lost her sons and now she has lost her daughter, it is a lot.”

Freezing when my sister speaks, I chuckle and shake my head. “Yula’vo, Neyswa is not lost. She is not with Eywa, I would know if she were. She is hiding in the forest.”

“Nguyo. Brother. She is gone, it has been a week. We have been looking for her. So many died in the fires and-”

“Get away from me,” I said, pointing to the other side of the beach. “You know nothing about her.”

“She was my family too Nguyo! She may have been your mate but that means she is a part of my family too.” Yula’vo snapped back and she shoved me down into the sand, the same tantrum she would throw as a child. “She is with Eywa now!”

“I will forgive you for saying that once, Yula’vo. You are my sister and I love you but I need you to go away, now.” I tried to keep my calm, taking a step away from her.

“Fine!” Yula’vo said, stomping away toward the children who’d gathered among themselves.

I’ll be back soon

My mate was not a woman who told lies. She was stubborn but she was not a liar. If she said she would be back, I believed her. I was the foolish one for letting her go off alone, foolish for staying behind while the fire rained down on our people. The other thing of importance I’d done was drag Ik’tanhì from the burning forest as he looked for Neyswa. When I’d found him his hair was singed at the ends and his clothes were burning tatters. His face was something I’d never seen before, something ravenous. He was smart though, every day he went out and looked for Neyswa. Yet he was just as stubborn, telling me to stay behind for the people while he searched. What little people we had left really. Most of the casualties were suffered by the Syulangrey, half of their people dead in a single night because of the cruelties of humans. How could the person I loved the most have been a product of something so evil?

“Nguyo, please help!” Someone cried out as they approached me, a young man tugging on my arm. “There is a fight.”

“I am busy,” I said, pulling away from the boy. “I need to clean for Neyswa’s return.”

“It is Ik’tanhì!”

Pushing through the gathered crowd I see Ik’tanhì in the middle, his arm snaked around Anki’s throat as he choked him.

“Where did you get that? What did you do to her!” His voice flooded with anger and pain as he pulled the knife from his hip.

Moving in quickly, I grasp Ik’tanhì’s hand and throw off Anki’ before turning around to shove me back.

My sister thought I looked bad. She should have seen Ik’tanhì. He wore the rags he typically wore but around his neck, he wore Neyswa’s shell diadem.

“What are you doing? We should be preparing for-”

“I know he did this, I know he did this somehow. Anki’ and his childish pride have killed my mate. I will have his life, Nguyo. You can’t stop me.” Ik’tanhì snarled the look in his eyes something dangerous.

“If I wanted to hurt Neyswa, I would have! I have had my time alone with her, I could have done it then. I was helping look for her body. Before the explosion, I saw her go off into the caves alone.” Anki’ spoke, wiping the blood from his nose, his teeth stained red inside of his mouth.

Curling his hands into fists, Ik'tanhì's eyes flashed with a dangerous fury. "You lie!" He lunged forward again, but I held him back.

"She's not gone. She promised she'd be back." I said to Ik’tanhì who only got rowdier. “She promised.”

“Nguyo did the explosions rattle your brains! She is alone. My Neyswa, our Neyswa. She can barely hunt and it has been a week. If she was coming back she would have found her way back by now. She isn’t here but I want her body back, I just want her body.” Ik’tanhì’s voice wavered as he clutched where his heart was. “I need to see her one last time. I have found every body I could find yet none are her.”

“You have not found everybody,” Hentì came forward, two guards following him with a covered body. “While you are here threatening to kill my brother, I was out looking for your mate.”

Uncovering the body, Hentì revealed the charred remains. The crowd gasped, some turning away in horror. "We found her near the cave entrance. I'm sorry, Ik'tanhì, Nguyo... she didn't make it."

Releasing Ik’tanhì I go over to her body and look down. Her face was burned beyond recognition, and her arms and legs were also tinged with char. The only thing that remained was some of her clothes and her hair, that single white strand hanging down on her head.

“How do you know this is her?” I ask, reaching out to hover a hand over her charred corpse.

“Neyswa is the only one with a white strand of her and-”

“Hair means nothing!” I snapped, turning to Hentì, my eyes filled with warmth.

“This was beside her body as well.” He raised her songchord in the air, the newest bead shell I’ve given her myself dangling off the end. It was for the day we’d met, the day my crush began to sink deeper into my bones.

Reaching a trembling hand out I gingerly take her songchord between my fingers. Thumbing over it, I look back to her body and then at Hentì.

“She’s not gone,” I muttered, the denial raw in my voice. But staring at the charred body, her songchord in my hand, something inside me finally broke. “She promised she'd be back…” My voice trailed off into a whisper, the reality of her loss settling in.

“Everyone but Nguyo, please go away. Go!” Ik’tanhì screamed and moved forward to pull his shawl over her body. “Do not look at her like this, please. Let us mourn in peace.”

The crowd left us alone with Neyswa’s body, Ik’tanhì in a squat over her as she struggled to arrange her body.

“Ik’tanhì. She promised she would come back.” My words caught in my throat as I came to kneel beside him. “Our mate, what has happened to her.”

I'll be back soon

With a heavy heart, I reached out to touch her charred face, my tears falling onto her lifeless form. "Neyswa, my beloved..." I whispered, the pain of her loss piercing my heart. “Even our shawls are gone, she must have been so cold and alone.”

I wonder if this is what death felt like. Because my heart felt like it was rotting from inside of my chest.

Watching Ik’tanhì, he reaches out and takes her white lock of hair between his fingertips. Rubbing the hair between his fingers he smiles and closes his eyes. “I did not give her the wedding she wanted.”

“Wedding? She was supposed to come back to us to mate.” Clasping my eyes shut, I inhale deeply a hand over my heart. “This is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.”

Feeling a hand rest on my leg, Ik’tanhì gives me a firm pat. “It will only get worse.”

Looking down to where he’d touched my leg, I scowl when I see the white markings left behind, his hands already back in her hair.

Reaching down to Ik’tanhì’s hand I pry it off of her and look down at his fingers, the tips stained white where he’d been rubbing her hair.

“I know you are heartbroken too but you can not stop me from touching our mate,” Ik’tanhì said in a near whisper, his eyes saddened by the second.

“This is not Neyswa.” Reaching out for the woman’s hair strand I rub it between my fingers watching white coat my my hands. “This is not her, this hair was painted white.”

I'll be back soon. I'll be back soon. I'll be back soon.

Neyswa’s words played over and over in my mind as I grasped at her songchord. “Why would everything burn aside from her hair, clothes, and songchord?” I asked Ik’tanhì who looked down at the imposter. “This was not a coincidence, this was planted.”

“Planted?” Ik’tanhì said, his breathing becoming ragged as he looked at the body and his hands. “Why would someone do this, why would someone place down a fake Neyswa.” Ik’tanhì stood, the sadness in his eyes being swapped by anger.

“Because this is not Neyswa. Someone wanted us to think it was Neyswa… who else is missing from the clan? Not the bodies, but the people?” I ask, looking up at Ik’tanhì who now has a stony look in his eyes.

I'll be back soon.

That was the last thing I heard my mate say, and I believed her.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 46

“Feathers or beads?” Soltok whispered in my ear, his fingers combing through my hair, ridding me of any tangles and debris I’d accumulated through the day. I was too numb to move, too drugged up to care, and too sad to respond.

I don’t know how many days I was with Soltok. I didn’t care. I just felt everything inside of me shut down seeing my people get firebombed and hearing their screams and cries of anguish. My mates were probably dead, I wouldn’t even know if they came looking for me because I was long gone now. I don’t even think Soltok had me near the ocean anymore.

“Neyswa.” He turned my face toward him, smiling happily as he held up the accessories. “Feathers or beads. If you don’t answer me I will assume you want both.” He spoke sweetly, his eyes on mine, my gaze drifting toward the beads.

“Thank you,” he turned my head back around, my gaze looking out to see nothing but ocean and jungle for mile after mile.

“I hate you,” I said in English, the only way I’d speak speaking to Soltok these days. Anything I said in Na’vi made him happy, it made him clingier.

“Na’vi only.” He said, adjusting my head so he could continue to flip beads into my hair.

It wasn’t enough to kill my mates, he also had to treat me like his giant Neyswa doll. Dressing me, washing me, feeding me. He’d offered me kisses when I was too weak to say no but he never pushed the line, instead he chose to kiss my forehead or cheek.

“Burn in hell,” I said, my feet hanging over the edge of the RDA station we were in. He was too tall to even jump inside and yet he had us both crammed in here. Apparently, he’d been in talks with the RDA for a while now, it explained his need for solitude.

Plus, he had everything he needed here, a machine to speak to them, multiple entrances and exits, a place to cook, and materials for his bow he had. I just wondered why he needed me. There was no way it was love or affection, that was clear from how he looked at me. More possessive than affectionate.

The painful hunger building in my stomach ripped me away from my thoughts, my weak limbs reaching up to stroke my exposed stomach. I felt horribly hungry. If Soltok didn’t force something down my throat then I refused to eat.

“Are you hungry?” He said, rubbing his nose against my cheek. “Stay here, I will feed you.” Standing up behind me, he places a kiss to the center of my head, before gathering his bow and arrows. “You will be safe on your own, no one should find us.”

His words left me cold, the trust he was placing in me felt like a cruel joke. I had no intention of waiting around for him, but my body was too weak to make any sort of escape plan. I could only lie there, trapped in a body that refused to obey.

“I won’t eat,” I said, stuck in place, my legs dangling over the edge of the station he’d brought me to. A few feet away, his toruk tore into some poor bison-like creature.

Nguyo’s words played over and over in my mind. The person able to take on a toruk was supposed to have a pure heart. Had Soltok once had a pure heart? Or maybe he believed himself to be pure and therefore this poor creature followed after him. It didn’t make sense, he didn’t make sense. The only thing I noticed was that this creature had no kuru. It had bonded with him outside your typical bond.

“I do not know English but I do know the word eat. You refuse to do so whenever I bring you food.”

“Let me die with my mates, please Soltok,” I said, reaching out toward him. “Let me be with them and with Eywa.”

Soltok stood there, his hands tightening in anger, his fake warm gaze turning cold.

“I told you to call me by my real name. Soltok is something I took from another.” He spoke softly yet the compassion didn’t meet his eyes.

“Lawsik. Please, let me die.” I said, turning around so I could look up at him. Weakly grasping his legs, I dig my fingers into his skin. “Why did you take me? Why did you let my people die?” I rasped, trying to topple him. “I will kill you.”

He remained silent, his expression unreadable. A mixture of emotions passed through his eyes, but he didn't utter a word. Instead, he gently disentangled himself from my grip, leaving me alone with my despair and questions.

Laying on the ground, I lick my lips and try to gather myself. Whenever he’d left me alone he left that damn toruk to watch me, its eyes always on me like the beady predator it was. Part of me wondered if that happened because my spirit was intertwined with that of the tulkun.

Looking over my shoulder, I watch the creature come forward, its orange head peeking into the research center behind me. No matter how many rocks I threw or how much I screamed at the creature it never killed me or attacked me as it did before.

“You’re an idiot,” I said, turning on my side to look at the vicious beast. Watching two of its four eyes stare me down, I weakly reach over and slam my fist onto its face, the impact causing the beast to stir. “Kill me! Let me be with my mates and kill me!”

I spoke in Na’vi to the beast, trying to force my hand into its mouth. “Please, Lawsik took everything sharp with him and I do not have the energy for anything else. Please.”

The creature's eyes bore into mine, a profound sadness reflected in their depths. It didn't move, didn't act. For a moment, I thought I saw understanding in its gaze, a silent acknowledgment of my pain.

“Monsters can’t feel, so don’t give me that look.” Wrapping my arms around its head, I force myself to stand for the first time in days, my knees like jelly as I try to get some anchoring in.

Hearing the toruk growl, I hiss in retaliation. “Shut up!”

Feeling my footing get lost under me, I curl up onto the ground biting down on my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. I wasn’t going to cry, I wasn’t going to let him know that he could make me cry. Even at night when he laid me against his body I swallowed my sobs. I wanted to cry, I wanted to mourn for my mates but any sign of acceptance meant they were truly gone and I was alone yet again.

Feeling the creature nudge my leg, it lets out a small roar.

“I said shut up!” Screaming, I crawl toward the other end of the old station, dragging my body on top of the makeshift bed Lawsik made for us.

He was deranged, making some sort of love nest as if to make me like him. He didn’t even care to tell me why he’d sold our people out to the RDA. For a private date? When I was awake he did everything in his power to try and please me. Giving me new foods to try, propping my weak body up on the toruk so I could watch him hunt. He’d even introduced me to other Na’vi but I was too high on the flowers he’d been shoving down my throat to say anything. He only told people about his poor mate whom he cared for. That he believed Eywa would heal me when he found proper help. It made me sick to my stomach to know all I could do was lay in his arms, a solid doll for him to parade around.

The only reminder I had of home, of my mates, were their shawls. Lawsik was too stupid to take them away, he believed them to be mine and it was the only thing I begged him to let me keep.

Pulling the shawls from my shoulder, I give them a small sniff, the smell of the ocean faintly on both pieces.

I missed the ocean, I missed my family, I missed my mates. Everything I’d died for, everything I loved was all taken from me in a matter of seconds.

Curling up under the shawls, I clutch them tightly and try to calm my breathing as my eyes burn with the feeling of oncoming tears. I wonder if anyone survived the attacks, they had to. I heard screams and screams were better than silence when it came to being harmed. I needed to go back to them, I needed to see if they were all right.

I needed power though, I needed something to hold over his head and the only thing I had was myself. I needed him to trust me enough to stop drugging me up every single day. I wanted to move my limbs without needing him behind me. I didn’t want to be his doll but if I didn’t I would have to put up with this forever.

“I’m back.” Lawsik’s deep voice ripped through the darkness as he looked at me, his burnt orange eyes searing into my own. “I see you did not touch the rations left by the RDA. Human food is disgusting. I brought you something you will enjoy instead. I will roast it.” He went over to the table he’d been preparing meat at, the knife in his hand carefully carving around the bones with ease.

“I want to watch,” I said, curled under the blankets, my eyes glued to his back. “Please.”

“You can see well enough from there.” He said, turning around to look at me curled up in the bedding.

“But I want to see beside you. Please, Lawsik.” I tried to hide the anger in my voice, masking it with the sadness that was already there. “I am tired of sitting here.”

He paused for a moment, glancing at me. "Alright," he finally said, his voice soft. "But only if you promise to stay calm and not cause trouble."

“I promise,” I said, carefully slipping the shawls onto the bedding. There was no Nguyo or Ik’tanhì here to help me. I was on my own and I needed to stand on my own two feet.

Hooking my hands onto the crates beside me, I force myself to stand and slowly walk over to Lawsik like a baby deer trying its legs out for the first time. He didn’t help me, probably a test to see if I would rush him. Coming to a halt beside me, I slide down the wall and sit in a crate in front of the table.

Staring at me intently, he begins to work the knife around the bones of the animal. His gaze flickered to me and the beast.

“Can you let me try to cut it?” I said, my head lying to the side as I watched him.

“So you can take the knife and hurt yourself? No.” He chuckled, beginning to cube the meat. “Will you let me hold your hand and guide you?” He said so, pushing more cubes of meat to the side, carefully piling them together.

Fuck no.

”Yes.” I lied through my teeth, raising my trembling hand in front of me. “I don’t think I could hold the knife on my own. Plus, aren’t you scared I will hurt you?” I asked, sitting up.

“You would not get the chance to hurt me,” I said so, carefully slicing the last of the meat from the bones. “I am done anyway, you will need to spend your energy eating.”

He left me alone again, going outside to roast the meat on the little cooking station. Looking ahead of me at the knife on the table, I stare between it and Lawsik who had his back to me as he tossed cubes of meat into the mouth of the toruk.

I knew better though to try and take it. What the hell was I going to do? Throw the knife into the toruk and into him like some sort of ninja? I could barely stand. Instead, I watched as the knife glinted in the light, like some sort of bait.

Looking up at Lawsik, I watch him give the meat a few turns, his back still turned to me. How the hell would I approach him, how would I treat the man who took my life away from me? How did I trick him into thinking that I wasn’t going to hurt him or try to run away the moment the chance arose? I needed to make him believe, I really needed that.

I forced myself to my feet, my body trembling with the effort. Every inch of my numb limbs begged me to stop as I stepped outside of the RDA station to go beside him. My steps were unsteady but I’d be damned if I said they weren’t determined. As I approached him, I placed my hand on the lower of his back to steady myself.

“Lawsik,” I said, my voice soft. He turned around, a look of suspicion in his eyes. “Are you almost done?”

I saw his eyes narrow slightly, but he relaxed when I reached out for a cube of meat, dropping it onto the ground as I tried to bring it to my mouth. Trying again for another piece, I purposely let it slip from between my fingers.

“Stop that, I will help you.” He reached down, scooping me up into one of his arms. Placing my arm around his neck, I grip his hair, hard enough to make him flinch but now hard enough to cause any real pain.

“Sorry,” I said, sliding my fingers through his hair, gently toying with the ends. “I am just tired. Fighting with you won’t bring them back. I need to grieve and move on.”

Even though I’d been trying to toy with his emotions it all still hurt to say, like a dagger shoved under my breast.

“I can’t keep living in the past, Lawsik,” I whispered, my gaze meeting his. At this moment, I needed him to believe every word I said, regardless of the bitter truth behind them. “I did that as a human and it made my father kill me.”

“The past will only bring you pain.” He said so, looking up at me through the darkness. “Now let me feed you.”

He was quick to cut me off, bringing me inside the station with him, his large form carefully helping me over to a small eating area he’d made for us. Being placed down in front of him, he sighs and picks up a piece of meat in his hands. Holding it out for me, he reaches out his other hand to force my mouth open but I instead lean forward, opening my mouth for him.

Lawsik looked surprised at my compliance, his eyes softening as he hesitated for a moment. Then, slowly, he placed the meat into my open mouth, his fingers brushing against my lips. The surprise in his gaze was replaced by a flash of something else - relief, perhaps, or maybe even hope.

I wanted him to have his hopes, I wanted him to fall for me and love me so much that it hurt. I wanted him to ache for me so when I finally killed him or took myself out he would know just how much it hurt.

The meat was surprisingly good though, something warm and hearty. Maybe it would give me enough energy to take him out in his sleep.

“Can I have more?” I asked, licking my lips clean of the meaty grease and spiced on my mouth from the cubes of roasted meat. “It’s really good actually.”

Opening my mouth for more, I lean forward and look up into his eyes. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but slipped another cube into my mouth, his fingers brushing across my lips as he did so.

His gaze held mine as he reached for another piece of meat, the faint flicker of hope in his eyes growing stronger with each passing moment. "You're welcome, Neyswa," he murmured, his voice softer than I'd ever heard it before. His hand lingered on my lips for a moment longer before he finally pulled away, his eyes still locked with mine.

“More,” I demanded.

I didn’t have much control and this felt nice. Being able to demand things from him felt good. It made me feel like the leash he had on my life was a little less strong.

He reached out, putting another cube in my mouth but this time I bit down on his fingers, locking them in my mouth. Bringing a hand around his wrist, I hold him firmly in place, licking the grease from his fingertips. Releasing my hold on him, I look to the side, licking my lips clean again.

“Neyswa,” he said, his voice just a whisper. “Use your words.”

"No," I said, meeting his gaze again, "I prefer this." My voice was soft but firm, a challenge in my eyes.

We ate in silence with him feeding me and me occasionally biting his fingers, my teeth indenting his skin. By the time we finished, I was full and I’d now been lying beside him like I did every night, however, this time I faced him. Usually, my back was to him but I wanted to see his face, I wanted to etch every detail of him into my my mind.

“Why do you keep looking at me like you hate me?” He asked, brushing his finger down my cheek. “Do you want to kill me?”

“I hate you and I do want to kill you,” I said, placing a hand on his chest.

He chuckled, pulling me in closer. “That is good, I want my mate to be honest and able to stand her ground.” His large arm locked around me keeping me against him.

Despite the revulsion I felt towards him, I allowed myself to sink into his arms, my body slowly succumbing to exhaustion. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, his steady heartbeat in my ear, I clung to one single, burning thought - my revenge. He made my world burn, it was only fair if I returned the favor.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 47

“What, you want me to share with one of my kidnappers?” I said to the toruk, gently cracking open the yellow and ruby-colored eggs I’d poked down from a tree.

Lawsik was still asleep and I’d managed to gain some more mobility after last night. Usually, he woke up early to shove more flowers down my throat. Nothing as strong as when he’d taken me but something weaker that made me more docile. Yet he’d not done so today, I just hoped he chose to sleep in. When I woke up I was cocooned in his arms, his body lazily over mine with the knife he had strapped to his waist. It wasn’t a threat, it was nothing but a trap—something to lure me into attacking him so he could force me into a sleeping beauty-level coma.

“Here, and then get away from me.” Tossing one of the eggs into the toruk, it cracks on the ground, the animal not moving forward to eat from me, yet it looked hungry.

“Well, it’s eggs and mushrooms or you goddamn starve so make up your mind.” I snapped and turned back to cooking, or my best at cooking. Even in my new body, I’d not taken up the proper time needed to really cook anything. Maybe my mates spoiled me a little too much.

Grabbing one of the mushrooms I found, I give it a twirl in my hands. It was a bright green color, something akin to a large morel mushroom. I was hoping it was poisonous when I sunk my teeth into it but I didn’t even get a tummy ache. If anything the earthy herby mushroom made me feel a bit better.

Watching the mushroom snap in half, I continue to break it down as much as I can before taking up a smooth rock I’d found to help me grind the mushroom up.

With the makeshift paste ready, I mixed it in with the eggs, hoping the heat from the fire would cook the mixture into something vaguely edible. I shot a glance toward the still-sleeping Lawsik, who lazily lay on his stomach, his tail moving from side to side in his sleep.

Gently tossing around the egg mixture I smile when it begins to resemble something close enough to appetizing.

"I can do this," I muttered to myself, trying to sound more confident than I felt. Despite the primitive conditions and the threat of Lawsik nearby, I found a strange sense of accomplishment in preparing a meal with my own hands.

Watching the toruk come closer, watching me closely I pull the food from the flames and carefully slide it onto a makeshift plate. It was nothing as neat and as polished as Nguyo would have made but it was nice. It was mine. Something I could control just for now.

Turning to the toruk, I take up a handful of the hot eggs, blowing on it. Holding out the handful of eggs for the creature I watch as it rears back, its wings nearly displacing me from where I stood.

“Eat it!” I screamed at the toruk and when it opened its maw to snap I tossed the eggs inside.

I watched anxiously as it chewed, its eyes narrowing suspiciously at me. After what seemed like an eternity, it swallowed and seemed to relax. “That's right, you ungrateful beast,” I said, taking another handful of eggs up. “Now keep eating.”

Continuing to reluctantly feed the toruk, it seems to settle into my little act of scooping handful after handful of eggs into its mouth. I was surprised the creature didn’t tear my arm from the socket as it continued to eat.

“What are you doing?” I heard Lawsik say from behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I watch him climb out of the top of the RDA station, his large body somehow making the station look small.

“I’m feeding her… him?” I said, giving them the last scoop of egg. “Did you want some? I’m sure it’s not that good.”

“Why are you feeding her.” He said, his tone not as sweet as he approached us both.

“It’s just eggs, it’s not poison,” I said, trying to keep my tone as chipper as I could. “Why is that not allowed in my captivity? Would you prefer if I watched her sit there and starve while you cozied up under me?”

"No, it's not about that," he replied, his eyes flickering between me and the toruk. "It's just... unusual. You've never shown interest in her before." He reached out to stroke the creature's head, a strange mix of curiosity and concern etched on his face.

“Well I never showed interest in you either but you’re both all I have now. So do I have a choice? I can’t even take more than ten steps away from this place without her growling at me. I can’t piss in the forest without you hovering over my shoulder.” I said so scraping the last bit of cooked egg up.

Approaching Lawsik, I press the egg to his lips. “So you eat up too. I need both my captors to be strong enough to protect me.”

His eyes bore into mine, suspicion lurking in their depths, but he parted his lips slightly, allowing me to feed him. Sick fucker. I wish I could have pushed the egg down further, given him more but this was all I could do.

“How does it taste.” I ask, my brows scrunched up together.

"Good," he said in a low voice, his gaze never leaving mine. "You did well, Neyswa." His compliment was almost genuine, a faint hint of surprise in his tone.

“Good for who I am, you mean?” I said, forcing a happy little smile. “It’s my first time doing something like this all on my own really.”

He chuckled, a low rumble that echoed in the otherwise quiet space. "Yes, for your first time. You will learn and improve. We have plenty of time for that," he said, reaching out to ruffle my hair gently.

“Don’t touch my hair!” I snapped, using my clean hand to adjust it back to how it was.

Ignoring my protest, Lawsik reached out, messing up my hair once more with an amused grin on his face. "You're pretty no matter how you look, Neyswa," he said, his gaze softening.

“You don’t think I’m pretty. If you thought I was pretty you would let me walk around on my own to keep myself clean and pretty.” Gesturing toward my body I frown. “You won’t even ask any of the Na’vi we pass to share some clothes for your poor sick mate.”

"I don't need clothes to find you attractive, Neyswa. But if it makes you feel more at ease, I will find something for you," he replied, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Well I need clothes to find myself attractive. If you are going to keep me here on a string at least give me some clothes and something to wash myself, by myself.” I worked on what I wanted, trying my best to not ask for too much. ,

Lawsik's gaze never left mine. He seemed to be considering my words, his expression unreadable. "Very well, Neyswa. I will find you clothing and provide what you need for your personal care," he finally said, his voice softer than before.

“Really?” I asked, turning away from the large open oven. “You would do that for me?” I said, wiping my greasy egg-stained hands on the tattered loincloth he gave me.

"Yes, Neyswa," he responded, his hand snaking around my waist to pull me closer. "You are my poor mate, after all. It is only fitting that you have what you need. Can you behave if I leave you alone?”

“I trust you as much as you trust me,” I said, and his grip on me tightened.

He looked down at me, his smile dancing between kindness and insanity. It was scary to not know what he was thinking. If he wanted to keep me under his thumb or under himself. He hadn’t tried to touch me or hurt me but I could tell that something lingered in his gaze. He watched me while he thought I slept. He tried catering to all my needs. He didn’t even kiss me without asking and every time I said no he gave me space. If this psychopath really killed hundreds of people for a girlfriend he was beyond saving.

“You’re staring Neyswa.” He said, pulling me in closer so my skin was against his. My uncomfortable heat against his overbearing coldness. It was unsettling and unnatural.

“Can you just, not touch me for a second,” I whispered, pushing him off of me.

"Neyswa," he murmured, his voice soft and full of a strange affection. Ignoring my request for distance, he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek. His lips felt cool against my skin, a stark contrast to the warmth radiating from the fire nearby. "You're my mate, remember? I can't help but want to be close to you."

Before I could protest, he took me by the hand, attempting to lead me away from the fire and back towards the RDA station. "Come on," he urged, his grip firm yet surprisingly gentle. "Let's get you cleaned up, I want to take you out today.”

Soltok began to pull me inside, his arm hoisting me off the ground. His little offer to take me out was just a kind way of saying he was going to drug me again. I wanted to fight him like I usually did but I didn’t have the time to today, I didn’t have the nerve to beg him for any more than I already had. So by the time he was spooning tea into my mouth, I let it happen.

As he cradled my head, his fingers tracing a soothing pattern along my temple, I focused on the taste of the bitter liquid. There was a resigned calmness that washed over me, a silent concession to the fact that for now, this was my reality.

“Why?” I asked as he spooned another bitter spoonful into my mouth. “Do you still not trust me?”

“Do you trust me?” He asked, brushing a few droplets from my chin.

“Never,” I admitted. “But I told you I wouldn’t run.” My sentence began to bleed into nothing, as my eyelids began to feel heavy.

He didn't reply, his fingers paused on my chin before he continued feeding me the tea. By the time I took the next sip, I was out like a light. As the world around me shifted into blurred obscurity, the last thing I felt was Lawsik’s arms holding me secure, his voice whispering promises of sweet nothings. Yet, as I sunk into the blinding darkness of unconsciousness, I clung to a shred of hope… no, revenge. No matter what I would pull myself from this stronger than ever. I would go to what of my people were left, I would find them and help them with Royce and Rina helping me. I could be safe and happy again maybe.

I didn’t dream when I was under Lawsik’s little tonics. I didn’t feel pain either. It was like the numbness you got from being drunk off hooch. It just didn’t have the feeling alive effect that I hoped for. It was just me and my mind giving me too much time to think about what Ik’tanhì and Nguyo would be doing. I wondered if Lawsik would ever allow me to visit their spirits if they were laid to rest. They wouldn’t even know what happened, they would be memories for someone who didn’t want to remember what happened.

By the time I opened my eyes, I found myself in Lawsik’s lap, as fresh as a daisy. My hair was braided with feathers and flower petals from what I could see. It made my skin crawl, to think he touched and dressed me while I slept.

“Don’t touch me while I can’t say no.” I weakly hissed, unable to move. “I will rip your hands off.”

“I only hold you Neyswa and watch you. I found some gatherers who wanted to help you. They offered to bring you to their clan and I said no.” He spoke softly, gently massaging my fingers.

“Because you didn’t want me to wake up and scream for help?” I laugh, listening to the soft beat of his heart. It was a steady rhythm in the quiet of the forest.

"Because you are mine, Neyswa," he replied, his fingers tracing a pattern on the back of my hand. "But if you wish, you may meet them when you are more awake. They are curious about you."

“Aren’t you scared I will tell them about who I am? About what you did?” I said, my fingers twitching under his.

"No," he responded calmly, continuing his soft touches. "I trust you, Neyswa. Besides, they already know who you are. They know you are my mate." His voice held a note of finality as if this was a fact that couldn't be disputed.

“I mean what if I told everyone what you did.” I slid my fingers onto his own. Digging my fingers into his arm I frown. “What if I told them how you watched me for months? How you plotted under my nose to take me from some of the first people to make me feel alive? What if I told them how you treated me, how you licked my skin when you kidnapped me, how you killed an innocent girl just to take me away? How you sold out where our people were for someone who doesn’t even like you.” I tried to dig in harder but my hands failed me, all I could do was lay on his lap. “I don’t want to be your mate Lawsik, I want to be your ender.”

He was silent for a moment, his fingers pausing in their gentle ministrations. "You may hate me now, Neyswa," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I will win your heart, even if it takes a lifetime. You will see that we are meant to be."

“Then I hope you have a short life.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 48

Holding onto Lawsik, I look down below at the forest under us. I didn’t have a clue as to where the hell we were. From what I could see the ocean wasn’t an option right now, we were deep in the forest. This land was actually new to me.

“Where are we?” I asked, pulling myself tighter against him. The last thing I wanted was to come following toward the ground.

Lawsik only traveled with me at night, occasionally meeting people who acknowledged him as Toruk Makto. A strong man looking to just help his weak mate. Oh, how the people loved him and took pity on him for loving a dream walker turned Na’vi. He spun the cutest little tale of love but it was all a lie.

He didn’t answer, instead, he brought us to a large mountain, a dark cave opening beside where he would take us.

Seeing the cave mouth brought me back. Brought me back to the dark place I’d been when he took everything from me.

“I won’t go in there,” I said, as he landed the toruk. “I won’t. The last time I went into a cave with you, you killed someone.” I said that as he wiggled me from his back. "I won't let you put me through that again," I added, my voice trembling with fear and anger.

"I promise you, this isn't like last time," he replied, his voice steady and unnervingly calm. "You're safe with me, you have to trust me." But trust was a luxury I could not afford anymore, not with him.

“Like the last time you took my life from me?” I chuckled sliding off the toruk.

“You need to let your old life go!” He grabbed my arm yanking me toward him. “Your old human life, your life with your old mates, everything you knew is gone except for me! Let everything else go but me! If I can do the same, so can you!” He shouted, his voice echoing off the walls of the cave.

“You’re hurting me,” I said, trying to pry my wrist from his hand.

My stomach ran warm as he looked down at his grip on my wrist, his hand unclenching immediately.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that-” Reaching up to his face, I slapped him across the cheek, the action not only surprising him but myself. “I deserved that.”

“I’m not your property and you can’t treat me like I am.” Slapping him again, I watch the toruk roar, its head whipping around only to be stopped by Lawsik. “You’re scum, you’re nothing. I hate you.” Ending each insult with a slap, I ball my fist up slamming it against his chest. “Why couldn’t you let Soye love you like she wanted? Why did you kill her? I was your friend, you could have just waited and let me love you but you didn’t. You made everyone suffer! How are you better than a human? You’re less Na’vi than I am.”

“You don’t understand Neyswa, I had to do it! I had to make you see that we belong together.” His voice was filled with desperation, his eyes wild in the dim light. “Your clan… they wouldn’t have accepted me, not after everything I did Neyswa! I did this for you!”

He grabbed my wrist again and before I could react, he was dragging me into the darkness of the cave, the toruk’s roars fading behind us as it took off into the sky.

“My people could have forgiven anything! My father killed both of my mates’ parents and they still took me in!” I fought back against his pulling but he only turned around pulling me up onto his shoulder. “Put me down, where are you taking me you, murderer!”

“We’re going to my home now,” he said, his voice echoing off the moss-covered stone walls around us. “To where I used to live before I joined you. You will love it Neyswa, it glows all the time because of the dark. It’s beautiful like you.”

I tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong. I was trapped with him, in the darkness, with no idea of what would come next.

As he carried me deeper into the cave, I could feel the cool dampness of the air. I closed my eyes, whispering a silent prayer to Eywa, hoping she would hear me, hoping she would send help. But at that moment, all I could hear was the echo of his footsteps and the chilling silence of the cave.

“Why me?” I ask, giving up my struggle as he takes me deeper into the cave. “There are pretty Na’vi women, there are others who can do way more than me. What makes me the special fruit in the basket?”

"Because you're not just any Na’vi," he murmured, his voice echoing off the cave walls. "You're Neyswa. You're strong, you're brave, and you're the only one I've ever truly loved." His words did nothing to comfort me, only adding to the fear that gnawed at my gut.

“I am not strong, I can’t pry you off of me. I’m not brave, if I was brave I would have strangled you in your sleep and you don’t know what love is. When you took me to that cave you offered to fuck me. That is not love, that is lust.” Slamming my fist into his body, I flinch when he hisses.

“Love, lust, I don’t care. I know what I feel. If you didn’t care you would have let me die that day.” He said so, stopping inside of the cave, and setting me down on the ground.

It looked surprisingly not bad inside. The walls were lined with colorful cuts of fabric, giving everything the illusion of being brighter in the dark cave. There were crude paintings on the wall, something being depicted, something I assumed Lawsik tucked deep away in his mind. One half of the cave seemed to be devoted to hunts and sleep alone while the other half, was his own messy project.

“What is this?” I asked him, walking over to the painting on the wall. “What do these paintings mean?”

“None of your business now lay down. You will be tired.” He said so grumpily, beginning to shed himself of his gear. “Lay down Neyswa. I don’t wish to fight with you.”

“None of my business?” I said, watching him slip off the outer layer of his loincloth. “You want me to lay beside you but you won’t tell me what this means. No, I refuse. I would rather take my chances with the toruk.”

“Neyswa, please. I am tired from today’s journey.” He rubbed his eyes, reaching a hand out for me.

“If you want me to act like your mate, treat me like one. What do these mean.” I said, looking to the wall to slip my fingers over the painting of the RDA building. “Why do you have these here?”

Coming over to me, he removes my hand from the painting and turns me around so we are face to face.

“Don’t be difficult.” He whispered, cradling my face in his hands. “Please, I’m asking kindly.”

Part of me wanted to slap him again but I relented and decided now was the time to put my little act into gear. Reaching out, I place my hands around his waist and frown.

“Did I ever tell you that I used to paint? As a human, I really enjoyed painting.” Slipping my fingers up and down his sides, he begins to purr and leans forward to place his forehead against mine. “I just wanted to know because I’ve not seen another painter. It is nice, to be mated to a painter.” I said so, swallowing down the ball of worry in my throat.

His eyes softened, and he seemed to actually consider my words. "I painted these when I was alone and angry. Each one tells a story of my past, my pain." He admitted his voice a mere whisper in the quiet cave.

“I told you I wouldn’t judge you, that people forgave me so why wouldn’t I forgive you.” I lied, looking up into his hungry eyes. Pushing myself on the tips of my toes, I wrap my arms around his neck, narrowly dodging a kiss. “So if I ask for something, I want it. I don’t want you to fight with me.”

He seemed taken aback for a moment, then his face softened and he nodded a silent agreement. "Alright, whatever you want, Neyswa," he said, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Just ask and I will give it to you.”

“Then I want my own knife. I want to hunt my own food. I want to feel alive.” I said so, pulling myself closer to him, and resting my head on his chest to rub off the kiss.

He was silent for a moment, then let out a low sigh. "Alright, Neyswa," he said, stroking my hair gently. "I'll get you a knife tomorrow. You can hunt with me, we can do it together."

“Thank you, Lawsik.”I said, placing a gentle kiss on his chest. He was not warm like Nguyo or comforting like Ik’tanhì but I could for myself to believe just for a second that I was in the arms of my mates. “I will lay down with you now,” I said, pulling away to see him smiling.

“Can I get a kiss?” He asked, trying to stick beside me as I went toward the small area meant for sleep. “I will not force you.”

“You will kidnap me without my permission but when it comes to kissing you ask?” I said, chuckling for real this time.

"I don’t ask because I want you to want me Neyswa. I can force you to be here, I can force myself upon you if I want to, I know I am stronger than you. I don’t want that though, it’s wrong. I want you to willingly come to me.” He led me to the area we’d share to rest, patting the empty space beside him as I’d just won a brand-new car.

“What if I never want you,” I asked cautiously, coming to sit beside him as he laid down.

"Then I'll wait," he said, his tone solemn. "I'll wait for as long as it takes, for you to see that I am not your enemy, Neyswa. I just want you to give me a chance."

“Your chance is under the corpses of our people. It burned with the village.” Turning away from him, I lay down so I am facing the paintings on the wall. “Take me back to mourn and I will give myself to you.” I lied.

“Never, we can never go back.” He said so with a hint of regret in his tone. “There is nothing and no one there.”

“Then why did the RDA fire bomb everything?” I asked, whipping around to look at him. “Tell me why you sold our people out and don’t give me the lame excuse that you wanted me. I was a conciliation prize to your little murder spree.”

His face twisted in anguish, his eyes burning with a mix of anger and regret. "I didn’t do this to hurt your people Neyswa, I did this to help mine. We can discuss this later, now sleep or I will force you to sleep.”

"That's it?" I spat, my voice shaking with anger. "You destroy everything I love, and you expect me to just lie down and sleep? You're a monster, Lawsik." Despite my strong words, I knew there was no use arguing with him any further. With a heavy sigh, I turned away from him, my back facing his as I attempted to fall asleep in this cold, dark cave.

The following day found us by a lake, a vast expanse of clear, shimmering water nestled amidst the densest parts of the forest. The surface of the lake was active, with small fish chasing one another in the water while a plethora of colorful plants brushed along the surface, small lilies peaking from the top. Everything looked so perfect mirroring the jade-green canopy above and the cerulean sky.

Lawsik had kept his promise and given me a knife, it was a small one but it was a knife nonetheless. He didn’t let me prepare or hunt for any of the fish in the lake. Something about my knife being akin to a stick with them. Instead, I watched him snuff the light out of a couple of fish, telling me I would prefer these fish to the ones we found in the deep sea.

I didn’t say anything back, instead, I watched him clean his catch, his movements swift and precise as she worked on the fish. He kept throwing sidelong glances my way, looking as if he wanted to say something but holding back. His silence was a welcome change from his usual domineering demeanor, and I took full advantage of it, immersing myself in my own tasks like washing my body and hair.

The water was still quite cold, and the winter was not friendly to me, often leaving me by Lawsik’s side. I wouldn’t be surprised if he brought me here so I could cling to his side, I was never a fan of the cold.

“Are you going to wash your shawls?” He asked, pointing toward the last pieces of Nguyo and Ik’tanhì I had. Their scent was still on both items but due to our constant movement, they’d begun to dirty a little. “We can go to the closest clan and get you new materials and make you new shawls.” He gestured to the shawls, his knife too close to both pieces.

"No, I don't need new ones," I replied quickly, protective of the last physical memories I had of my mates. “I need them,” I said, coming over beside him, and pulling the shawls away.

Standing there bare in the water, I wade over to the other side of the lake, gently plucking and cleaning away any debris covering the shawls. I didn’t want to wash off Nguyo and Ik’tanhì. It was too soon.

Feeling the familiar burn in my nostrils and eyes, I bite down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying. I didn’t want Lawsik to see me cry, I didn’t want him to see how much I really cared about these fabrics.

“Don’t touch my things,” I said, looking back at him over my shoulder.

He nodded a hint of surprise in his eyes. "Alright, Neyswa. Your things are yours. I won't touch them without your permission," he said, although the words did little to comfort me.

Looking away from him, I look forward at the forest ahead of me. All it would take was one chance and I could run away. I could sneak off when he slept, I could run. Taking a step out of the lake, I gently wring my hair free of water. Reaching down to Nguyo and Ik’tanhì’s shawls I pull them over my shoulders. Taking a cautious step forward toward the forest, I keep walking until I am standing in a small patch of sunlight.

"Neyswa," Lawsik's voice broke the peaceful silence, stopping me in my tracks. "You should dress before you go any further," he suggested, his tone carrying a note of concern.

“But the sunlight feels nice. Can you just, shut up for a second?” I said so, shooting him a dirty glare.

Closing my eyes, I bask in the warmth of the sunlight, the cool dampness of the shawls against my skin providing a stark contrast. For a moment, I allowed myself to forget where I was, to forget who I was with. I just focused on the sunlight, the gentle rustling of the trees, the distant chirping of the birds, and the faint whisper of the wind.

Taking a few more steps toward the forest I let myself drift into the forest around me, slipping beneath thick large roots of beautiful jade trees.

“Neyswa?” Lawsik called out to me, and it was like something snapped in my head. The gentle steps I’d been taking turned into a jog and then a full-on sprint as I ran through the forest. I didn’t know where I was, I didn’t know how far I was going but I was going away from the mountain.

“Neyswa!” Lawsik screamed my name this time, his voice booming through the trees.

But I didn't stop. I ran as fast and as hard as I could, ignoring the burning pain in my lungs and the sharp branches whipping against my skin. I could hear him chasing after me, his heavy footsteps echoing through the forest, but I didn't dare turn back. Every scratch on my skin healed quickly but as I’d been running Ik’tanhì’s shawl snagged in a thicket of branches.

“No, no!” Whispering, I try to pry the shawl free when I see a blue hand clamp down on the shawl, yanking it from my hands.

“Why did you run!” Lawsik shouted, grasping my wrist. “You said you would behave.”

"I was just exploring," I lied, trying my best to sound sincere. "I didn't mean to worry you, Lawsik." I kept my gaze down, avoiding his piercing eyes.

“Do I look like an idiot?” He said, yanking me forward. “You don’t run off to explore Neyswa. You run to leave, you’re not leaving.” Taking me off my feet, he carries me over his shoulder.

“No! Put me down, let me go!” Grasping his kuru, I give it a strong yank and he falters, dropping me onto the ground. Moving away from him, I hiss and take a step back from him.

"Stay away!" I shouted, brandishing the small knife he'd given me earlier. But he just sighed and approached me slowly, his eyes filled with a strange blend of anger and regret. “Don’t come closer!” I threatened.

Stepping forward I thrust the knife out for his hand when he easily disarms me. Grabbing both my arms he forced them behind my back and locked them in place before scooping me upward. It felt wrong to have him touch me when I was like this. To have him touch my naked body where only Nguyo and Ik’tanhì were allowed to go.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, wriggling in his arms. “I can give you anything you want if you let me go. If the RDA is involved I’m guessing it’s not just some kisses and alone time. What do you want?” I asked.

He said nothing, dragging me back to the lake where we were beforehand. Placing me down near my clothes, he ignores my questions and just begins to gather our things.

“I already told you.” He said so, taking his bone flute from his hip. Watching him call for his toruk, he scowls. “Now come.”

As I stood there, watching him gather our belongings, I realized there was no escape. Not yet. I had to play along, to keep him believing that I was on his side, until I found a real chance to run. Shivering in the cool air, I wrapped the shawls tighter around myself, glaring at him. "Fine," I murmured, "But don't expect me to be happy about this."

“You will be happy one day, Neyswa. I promise.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 49

“Neyswa, I’m back,” Lawsik called out into the cave, his large form blocking the small bits of light that managed to come into the cave. “I got you a gift today while hunting and trading. I think you will enjoy it.”

Lawsik came down, holding a large basket in his arms. He looked happier than usual, his face covered in various paint colors, some of the fingerprints going down his torso. I wasn’t jealous I hoped, just curious as to why he seemed so chipper.

“You went out and got laid and brought me back a souvenir? How fucking lucky am I?” I spoke in a chipper voice but I said everything in English, causing Lawsik’s smile to shift some.

“I don’t know what you said but you will be happy when you see this.” He came forward onto his knees, popping open the basket for me. Inside I could see various colorful items and large pots of colorful paints and dyes. “I wanted you to paint, I know it makes you happy.”

The memory of Nguyo getting me paint flooded my mind and I felt my eyes instantly begin to sting. Looking up at Lawsik I nod silently and smile beginning to take the items out. “I don’t know what to say.”

Feeling tears begin to run down my cheeks, I sniffle trying to control myself. I’ve been holding back on crying for who knows how long and here I was crying over dyes and paints because they reminded me of Nguyo.

"Lawsik, thank you," I manage to say between sniffs, my hands carefully caressing each pot of paint. "This means more to me than you can imagine, thank you. My first gift that I really loved, was paint.” Coming closer to Lawsik, I gently take his hand in my own giving it a squeeze.

Watching him stiffen some, he leans in like a sad puppy asking for a kiss. He didn’t say it with his words but I could tell because of the look in his eyes. Leaning forward, I give him a small peck on the cheek and his eyes widen in surprise. I could see his shoulders still as if he had forgotten how to breathe.

“Neyswa…” He started his voice barely above a whisper. But I cut him off, not wanting to give him a chance to ruin the moment. “Thank you, Lawsik,” I repeated, my voice firm. I could see the confusion in his eyes, but I didn't care. For once, he had done something that made me genuinely happy, if only for a moment.

“You’re welcome, Neyswa.” He pulled some items from the basket, clothing he’d seen gotten for me. It was nothing like I’d worn with the Katotxampay, this was a full-fledged jungle. “Can I dress you?” He asked, turning to me.

I hesitated for a moment, looking at the clothes in his hands. "Fine," I finally said, turning toward him. "But only because you took the time to get this for me." I could see the surprise in his eyes, but he said nothing, only nodded in agreement.

Standing in front of him, I begin to undress and he looks up at me with stars in his eyes. Sliding his hands onto my hips, he brings me closer and I reach down pinching his ear.

“What are you doing?” I ask, undoing the laces on my loincloth. Letting them drop to the ground, I stand there naked and open in front of Lawsik. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” Reaching up to my hair I slowly slip it out of the large braid it was in.

His eyes followed my every move, his breath hitching as I let my hair fall loose over my shoulders. "You're beautiful, Neyswa," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the soft rustling of the wind outside the cave. "More beautiful than any Na'vi I've ever seen."

“I am beautiful yes,” I said so, sweeping my hair over my shoulder. “Don’t place down others to raise me up. You can compliment me on your own.”

“Forgive me Neyswa.” He allowed his mouth to hover over my skin, nearly touching me. “You are breathtaking, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and you are mine, all mine.”

His words sent a chill down my spine, a stark reminder of the reality of my situation. "Yes, Lawsik," I whispered, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. "I'm yours." Reaching down to his cheek, I gently caress it and smile. It was getting easier to lie to him, to get him to do things for me. “Why are you covered in paint? Who touched you?” I asked, being as gentle as I could be. Running my fingers down his skin, I trace over the fingers on his torso.

"None of your concern," he replied, rolling his shoulders. His reaction intrigued me, but I decided not to push further for now.

“Tell me,” I said, squeezing his sides. The last thing I needed was for my captor to get bored of me before I could drive a blade into his neck. “You’re allowed to go out and have fun while I am trapped here? I’m not jealous of course. Feel free to make love to whoever you like. I just want my own freedom. Like no more tea, please.”

“The tea is to keep you calm.” He said, sliding a green, yellow, and blue loincloth around my hips. “I don’t want you to run away. I need you here. And I am not with anyone else. Someone asked if I wanted to see the paints and flirted with me but I moved them away. I only want you, I promise.” His eyes twinkled as she spoke as if he believed himself. “I can show you if you please.”

Taking out a yellow and brown feathered top, he laces it around my neck, the feathers covering my chest from the view of others.

“No no, I don’t need to see you like that.” I felt my cheeks warm, oddly flushing as I spoke. “I just want to be able to walk into the sunlight on my own. I won’t run from now on now that I know you care about me, truly. I promise.” More lies.

“No, you will drink the tea.” He seemed firm in his choice, his hands moving up to my hair.

Placing my hands on his cheeks I pull him forward before swallowing deeply. I felt like I was feeding him bread crumbs until now but that wasn’t working anymore. He was becoming more stubborn, I could see it in his eyes, and I could hear it in his words. I kept forgetting that all this time he was the one watching me. I couldn’t observe the observer so I had to be myself, I needed him to see the woman he’d been watching.

“No more, not if you really want me to be your mate.” Pulling him down so we were face to face, I give him a gentle peck on the lips. “Please Lawsik, no more tea.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I deepen the kiss and he quickly follows by wrapping his arms around me, picking me up so the kiss would be met with equal fervor.

Pulling away, I look into his eyes, searching for any sign of doubt or hesitation. "Please," I whisper again, my hands caressing his face gently, "Trust me." His eyes soften, the stubbornness fading away for a moment.

“Okay, Neyswa. No more tea.” He pulls me in for another kiss, and I satisfy his needs allowing him to hold me and to kiss me.

“Now let me paint, you can watch me if you like,” I said so, grinning from ear to ear and he nodded placing me down. Turning around, my smile drops and I wipe my mouth clean. “Where can I paint?”

"Anywhere you'd like," Lawsik replied, gesturing around the cave. "This is your home now too, Neyswa. Make it your own.”

Heading over to the wall, I brush my fingers over where he’d painted in the past. Running my fingers along the colored sheets he had on the cave wall, I yank them down, revealing more of his paintings.

Taking a step back, I look over each painting, my heart racing in my chest. “Tell me, what do your paintings mean?”

On the wall from left to right, I could faintly make out the story in his paintings. The first one was obvious, a young happy hunter, his eyes two large swirls of orange. A spear in his hands and various other little blue figures around him. Friends? Family? I didn’t know. The second was a bunch of blue figures fighting the RDA in front of a large burning tree but the little hunter was fierce in this one, fighting with his people.

“What was the name of your clan?” I asked, turning around. “What was their name?” I said so, sliding over to look at one of the little blue figures, their body armor familiar looking.

The yellow and green shells, ha. Of course.

“I said, what was their name?” I asked again this time, my tone a little less kind. “These armor plates, I’ve seen them before. They’re like crab or beetle shells or something. Why do they look like…” My heart began to pound in my chest as I touched the little figure.

“The Tipani.” He said so, sitting forward. “I didn’t mean to hide it from you Neyswa. I just know your former mate was from there. I didn’t want you to think about him.”

“You know his name! I see him right here, you drew with him his necklace! Why didn’t he tell me, why didn’t you tell me!” I asked, going over to the next painting. It was Lawsik among a new clan, new people with new clothes.

“You knew him. You didn’t come after me because of anything else, you came after me because you knew him and you were jealous.” I said so, the small bit of happiness I had fading to nothing. Going to the next unexposed picture of the RDA, I point to the building. “And this! This is when you first saw me, this is where you started watching me. How long, how long have you been planning this?”

Lawsik’s smile faded completely as he looked at me, a look of anger on his face as he sat up. “Enough, Neyswa. Come sit beside me, I don’t want to watch you paint anymore.”

“No, come stand beside me. You’re always saying I will love you and I will be your mate but you won’t be honest with me. Why are you with the Tipani! Why didn’t you tell us? Why did you lie and say you were from a different clan?”

He slammed his fist against his leg, the sound of skin on skin silencing me as he came to a stand. “If I tell you will you let it go?”

“No, if you tell me everything I will try to let it go. You need to be honest with me. Why are there paintings like these.” I said, stopping over the painting of him with dead bodies. “Why are so many people dead.”

Lawsik's eyes hardened as he stared at the painting, his jaw clenching. "Humans killed my people, Neyswa!” He was cold as he spoke, turning me toward the paintings. “Your father killed my people and when Ik’tanhì had a chance to stand up for them he ran like a coward to the Katotxampay! They sheltered that coward. I stayed, I fought. They thought they killed me, but they were wrong. All they did was stop me for now.”

Dragging me toward the next painting, he places his hand over mine, forcing me to trace the figure that was him. “I did have people Neyswa, another clan took me in. A clan not scared to fight and stand with me. We worked for years to fight against the RDA, so many of our people died and that’s when it happened, you happened.” He pulled me to the original painting I saw dragging my fingers over a symbol, a heart but it was shriveled. “Before you were Neyswa, when you were Georgia Stringer. I watched your father be happy over you and I wanted to snuff that happiness out like the little flame it was.” His hold on my hand slid upward until he was rubbing my arm.

I felt shivers run up my spine as he spoke, all those nights of feeling like I was being watched. I was right, I was fucking right.

“Then why didn’t you just kill me? Was it because I was taken in by the Katotxampay?” I asked, touching the shriveled heart.

“Because I found you interesting. I never saw a human like you before. Not cruel like the RDA, not trained like the Na’vi. Why snuff out a bright flame because of the rotten logs that fuel it? Why not feed it until it becomes greater? Why not wield the flame that took everything for me and return it? And then, your people, humans made it worse. Your father had them poison the land where my people live. Every piece of fruit was tainted, the air was tainted. Did you know the land rots and dies when humans get their hands on it?”

“There are so many RDA, how did you know it was him?” I ask in a whisper and he turns me to another painting.

“I saw him give the order Neyswa. Something about building for a human colony. You are not the only one who speaks English.” He smiled, leaning his face into my neck. He’d said it back in English, confident and clear as he spoke.

Everything I said to him, everything he pretended not to know. It made my blood run warm not from being flustered like a schoolgirl crush but out of fear. His hands slid lower, snaking around the exposed skin on my stomach.

“My people if not dead are laying there sick and dying every day. All of them are trapped like the animals in the RDA cages. It made me so angry. Angry enough that day that I went to kill your father but I was beat to the punch. Instead, all I saw was Ik’tanhì stealing what was mine. First, he was a coward and then a thief. Hundreds, no, thousands of RDA are here. I went looking the whole day, speaking to Na’vi and then it clicked in my mind. Jake Sully, our latest Toruk Makto was the answer. He commanded a war against the RDA because he was our Toruk Makto. Lucky me, your father’s horrible trophy room had a toruk there. They hurt her, took her kuru, and did experiments on her. All she needed was some love and she was mine.” He pulled me against him. “Your father always hurts strong beautiful creatures.”

“So you kidnapped me to get back at my father?” I asked, reaching up to hold his hands over my body. I felt like if I let him go I might faint.

“I took you because a human made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He offered to save my people if I took you away and betrayed the Katotxampay. I never had any loyalties to your clan Neyswa. All it took was for the humans to give me a little talking device and I had you in a couple moments. They’re horrible and amazing at the same time. As for you, my mate we are two flames, ignited by the same fire," he said, his voice husky with a strange mix of sadness, anger, and... longing.

“I... I…" I stammered, my mind racing to process everything he'd just confessed. "You... you did this... all of this... to save your people?" The question hung in the air like a specter, a chilling reminder of the reality of our situation. "And you think that justifies everything? Kidnapping me, deceiving me, keeping me captive?" The words tumbled out of my mouth, laced with a bitterness that tasted like poison on my tongue. "You're just as bad as the humans you despise, Lawsik. You've become the monster you swore to fight against."

“No!” He screamed, turning me around so I faced him. “I’m nothing like those other monsters, I didn’t kill you like your father did Neyswa. I didn’t burn down the homes of hundreds of Na’vi. I did nothing with my own two hands.” He tried to make me see reason, pleading with me.

Chuckling, I try to stop myself but it boils into a full-blown laugh as he releases me.

“What is there to laugh about, Neyswa?” He said, tightening his fists.

“You’re a hypocrite but worse, you’re an idiot. One, if you think whoever wanted me for a second, is just going to let you take me and run off and have your little babies you’re an idiot. Two, if you’re willing to kill hundreds of people just to fulfill your little revenge fantasy, you’re a dangerous little monster. Monsters are scary on their own, Idiots, are terrifying. At least a monster knows what it is doing but an idiot? They’re just that, a fucking idiot.”

He looked at me as I laughed, his angry frown shifting into a small smirk before becoming a chuckle of his own.

“You’re crazy,” I said, tapping his arm. “You’re so damn crazy.”

"And maybe you're right," he responded, his smirk growing wider. "Maybe I am a monster, maybe I am an idiot. But at least I'm not a coward. I did what I had to do to save my people. Can you say the same?" His words hung heavy in the air, and despite my repulsion, I couldn't deny the truth in them.

“I gave my life to help my people, I couldn’t save them from you but I still can. I still can. Why didn’t you come to me for help, I could have saved your people. You know what I can do. I healed you from the brink of death. You could have asked me and I would have done it for you because you were my friend.” I spoke softly.

“No, you would have died and I couldn’t kill you.” He said so with a laugh. “Why does any of this matter? You can’t change fate.” He spoke very curtly, his tone as kind as the anger in his eyes. “Can you just paint or let me continue dressing you like a Tipani? If my clan was still around you would have chosen me anyway, and Ik’tanhì would be mated. He was never meant to be with you.”

I inhaled deeply, biting my tongue to keep from saying anything else. Lawsik's words were like a punch in the gut. Not because what he said was hurtful but because he was right. If my father never killed those people I wouldn’t have met Nguyo, I wouldn’t have met Ik’tanhì, and if I did we sure as hell wouldn’t be mates.

Scoffing, I push Lawsik back a few steps, seating him on the makeshift bed. “And you think I would want you? A man who would murder for what he wants?”

“Are your hands clean? You’ve killed Neyswa. Ik’tanhì has been killed as well. You’re just upset because I’m not like you and your old mates, I’m not kind and gentle. I don’t hide who I am with you though, not anymore at least.” He held out a hand for me to come to him. “Come here, Neyswa.”

Hesitating, I come forward and gently take his hand. Taking a seat beside him, I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder. “I don’t think I could ever love you or forgive you for what you did to me. You ruined my life.” I was honest this time, no lies, no anger. “I understand your anger though, my father ruined a lot of lives.” As I spoke, his arm wrapped around me, pulling me against him. “You’re evil,” I said, looking up at his face. “And it’s all my father’s fault.”

Lawsik remained silent for a moment, then he gave a small nod. "You're right," he said at last, his gaze softening "And for that, I am truly sorry, Neyswa."

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 50

“Stop it, Lawsik! You’re tickling me.” I said so, trying to hold in the uncomfortable giggles that were building up.

Lawsik had chosen to dress me again this morning, this time from clothes he’d made himself. He said it was reminiscent of the clan he moved to after the clan he shared with the Tipani was wiped out.

It was rather beautiful. Bone beads, silken fabrics, and colorful streamers. He told me the women often wore cooler jewel tones while the men while the men dressed on the warmer side. We both looked like peacocks, bright and beautiful.

“I’m tickling you?” He chuckled, leaning forward to nuzzle against me, the feeling still uncomfortable, like having a wolf nuzzle against a sheep.

What he said before left me feeling hollow and numb, like everything yet again was caused by my father. I knew he was horrible but things just got worse and worse every time he was mentioned. Even in death, he managed to ruin my life.

“None of that,” I said, pushing his head back. "I'm not in the mood for your games," I added, trying to keep my voice steady. Despite everything that had happened, there was still a part of me that feared him, that knew what he was capable of. “You said you wanted one night, I will give you one night.”

“One night and I can not even be sweet to my mate?” He asked, lacing a necklace of streamers around and thanator teeth around my neck. “How should I spoil you Neyswa? I’ve told you of my past and I will give you anything you desire, just ask.”

“I want to visit the Katotxampay,” I said so, brushing a few strands of his hair behind his ears. “Let me say goodbye to my people.”

"No," Lawsik responded firmly, his expression hardening. "You cannot visit the Katotxampay."

“Then don’t tell me you can give me what I want,” I said, crossing my arms and snatching myself away from him. “I can’t bury my past mates so you can’t please yours.”

The firm expression on Lawsik’s face shifted into a smile as he drew me near him. “You said yours. So you see yourself as my mate.”

"No, Lawsik," I retorted, struggling against his grasp. "I said it out of habit, not because I see myself as your mate."

“You said it again.” He tried to nuzzle me again but I pulled away, pushing his head away from my body.

Rolling my eyes, I begin to walk toward the cave entrance, my eyes scanning the objects inside. Usually, I was too damn drugged up to walk this far but now he trusted me more. There was a lot less Na’vi in this cave than I expected. A trophy wall full of walkie-talkies, dog tags, and ID cards. On the other side were human plans, maps, and papers with information. I wondered how he got these things but before I could ask he came from behind, holding the lower portion of my back.

“Yrrpe is her name.” He said, picking me off the ground to sniff my hair.

“What?” I asked, as he placed me back onto the ground, his hands narrowly missing my chest. “Who is Yrrpe?”

"Yrrpe is the name of the toruk that chose me," he explained, his fingers gently tracing the lines on my arms. "She was the one who saw the fire in me, the one who understood my pain and chose to stand with me." His voice was soft, almost reverent, as he spoke of the creature that had changed his life.

“You mean the toruk that tore my arms open is named Yrrpe? How cute!” Mockingly cheering for him, I pull away from his touch.

He chuckled, a sound that echoed in the cave. "Yes, Yrrpe. She is as fierce and beautiful as you are, Neyswa." He said, his gaze softening as he looked at me. "Do not forget, she chose me, just like you will."

“You’re crazy,” I said, coming to the mouth of the cave. Watching him pull the bone flute from his side, he lets out a beautiful sound and Yrrpe appears from the jungle, an older hexapede in her mouth.

Watching her swallow the animal in a few bites, she flies upward and perches on the lip of the cave, her bright eyes staring down Lawsik before turning to me.

“I’m not feeding you today,” I said to her as she licked her mouth clean. “Your friend is keeping me captive.” Coming toward her, I run a hand down her cracked maw, catching note of her chopped-off kuru in the process.

Her eyes seemed to soften for a moment as she bowed her head, nudging my hand with her snout. It was a small gesture, yet it brought an unexpected warmth to my heart. “Don’t try being nice to me now, you little rat,” I whispered stroking her cracked head plate. “We’re both stuck with him.”

Turning around, I look at Lawsik, standing there, watching me with a soft smile on his face. "You're both stuck with me, too," I say, forcing a small smile onto my face. It's an empty promise, a hollow sentiment, but it's all I have to give.

“When we have children then you will be stuck with a family, we both will,” Lawsik said so, going to the side of Yrrpe to tighten the saddle on her back. It wasn’t rigid like a horse saddle but soft. Strong enough to keep you on her but not too strong to the point where you would hurt her.

"It will be a happy family, I promise," He added, his voice filled with a certainty that I wished I could share. But his words, like everything else, just felt empty and hollow to me. "And maybe then, you'll finally see that we belong together, Neyswa."

“I don’t think it will take a family to change how I feel about you,” I said with a smile, hoping it wasn’t as empty as I felt about Lawsik.

“That makes me happy.” He mounted Yrrpe, helping me onto her back in the process. “Do you know where I am taking you?” He said, whistling sharply, causing Yrrpe to take off into the air.

I shook my head, clutching onto him as the ground beneath us dropped away. "No," I managed to say over the rush of wind, "but I suppose you're going to show me either way." Lawsik simply laughed in response, the sound mingling with the roar of the wind as we soared higher into the sky.

Feeling my heart pound in my chest, I clutch onto Lawsik, my stomach churning violently. It wasn’t like when I flew on the back of Tetsa with Ik’tanhì, it was worse. Lawsik flew Yrrpe like a madman, spinning her and flying through trees. Nothing touched me but everything was close enough for me to smell, for me to taste. It was overwhelming.

“Slow down,” I whispered through the loud wind, but he only continued forward as my heart pounded in unison with his, mine out of fear. “Slow down!” I shouted this time, slamming my fist into his thigh. “You’re scaring me, please!”

At my desperate plea, Lawsik finally eased his grip on Yrrpe, slowing her down until we were simply gliding through the air. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely audible over the wind. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Heights and high speeds, I wanted to vomit. It was sickening to look down at the sea of emerald green below us. Sometimes the emerald green was interrupted by large RDA radio towers. It made sense. These towers weren’t tainting the ground like the mining facilities or oil pumps and dumps but they were there. It made sense. How else would Lawsik be able to contact the RDA without radio towers, it was simple now that I thought about it.

Sliding my hands lower on Lawsik’s body, I feel him purr and mumble something I can’t quite make out. Anything that got him to allow me to go out of my own free will, not drugged up on the plant tea he usually gave me.

“Would you like to take a break?” He asked as we soared between two large trees, his hand moving down to rest on top of mine. “We can wait to do what I have planned if you have other plans.”

I felt him stroking the back of my hand, his eyes on me as he halted Yrrpe in the air. “No no, I would like to see what you have planned. Especially if you went through the work to do it all.” I said with a forced smile, resting my head on his back.

All I wanted to do was get a feel of where the hell we were. It looked like we were right between jungle and forest forest. I’d not seen a hint of forest when we were near the ocean so I wondered just how far out we were. How long had I been asleep for him to bring me here?

"Alright, then hold on tight," he said, guiding Yrrpe into a gentle descent. As we got closer to the forest, I could see a small clearing with what looked like a makeshift shelter. It seemed like Lawsik had indeed prepared something. “I have done this for you, Ma Neyswa.”

“Lucky me,” I said behind him, my eyes rolling at the notion of romance. I wondered if he’d fallen and hit his head to be acting this way.

Landing in front of the makeshift marui, Lawsik helps me down, his movements rather gentle compared to how they’d been beforehand.

“I was raised in the way of the Tipani, Neyswa. I was not raised to be a weaver but the clan that took me in taught me to weave as well. I am alone, no clans with me but I want to make you know that I never want you to be alone.” He raised my hands to his lips, giving them a gentle kiss. It took me a second but I couldn’t help but notice the small scuff markings on his hand.

“I know you want to feel the sun on your face and walk among the people, I want you to know I am trying. I am building a marui for us, for our children one day. It is not the best but I hope you can help me.” He gently guided me over to the makeshift shelter which had been built in a set of trees. If anything it was more like a tree house with various openings and exits. Around the base were large mushroom steps and glowing plant life that twinkled with electricity even in the daylight.

"I don't know what to say, Lawsik," I admitted, taken aback by the sincerity in his eyes and the effort he had put into creating this place. For a moment, I found myself imagining a life here with him, a life that was far removed from the harsh realities of our pasts.

If he let me put my mates and people to rest, if he let me be free, would I come back for him and let him have me? The fact that I even thought this way started to scare me. Was it pity or codependence I felt toward him? After all, it was my father who created this monster.

“When did you start working on this?” I asked, moving closer. There was no way he popped this thing out while I was knocked out. “When you were with the clan? Beforehand?” I asked my hands in a fist on my hips. “Did your sister help? Or was she another Zoye.” I asked, taking a step away from him.

I was stupid to think for just a moment that I could trust this murderer, someone who snuffed out a bright light with his own hands.

“Neyswa, please.” He said, pointing toward the marui. “I just want to make you happy.”

“Let me lay my mates to rest!” I said, raising my voice. It was as if the forest shifted with me, silence befalling the area around us. "I want to say goodbye, Lawsik," I continued my voice barely a whisper now. "I need closure. Can't you understand that?" I pleaded, my eyes welling up with unshed tears.

He remained silent for a moment, his gaze shifting from me to the marui. Then, he spoke, his voice softer than before. "I understand, Neyswa," he said, reaching out to gently wipe a tear from my cheek. "I'll let you say goodbye."

I felt my heart still in my chest, my hand going over it to make sure it was still there. After all my relenting, all my fighting, he would let me have this.

“Thank you.” Was all I could say as tears began to fall down my cheeks, my knees caving in under me on where I stood. “Thank you.”

And then, in the quiet space that followed, I allowed myself to cry. I cried for my mates, for my people, and for the closure that was finally within my reach. Lawsik simply stood there, silent and unmoving, giving me the space I wanted. It felt good to let myself truly cry as everything that bubbled within my chest burst all at once. All the pain, all the grief and sorrow. I could finally say goodbye to my people.

After some time, my sobbing subsided and I found myself enjoying the comforting silence Lawsik offered me. He was still there of course which was a downside but it was his silent support I needed, that I wanted right now. No fighting, just time to reflect.

“Ik’tanhì was no coward,” I said, cutting into the silence.

“What?”

“He wasn’t a coward. He told me what happened. How he wanted to come back, how he wanted to fight but the elders didn’t let him.” Sniffling, I begin to trace his name in the soft dirt beside me. “He was a good man Lawsik and I loved him, I do love him. I love Nguyo too, they are both the best things to ever happen to me.” I said so, wiping my cheeks clean. “Ik’tanhì made me feel strong and Nguyo made me feel kind.”

“And how do I make you feel?” Lawsik said, coming to take a seat in front of me.

“Scared,” I said honestly, pulling away from him. “Being with you is scary. You could have kept trying to gain my feelings but you just took me away and hurt people. That is scary.”

"I know I've made mistakes," Lawsik admitted, his gaze never leaving mine. "But I'm learning, Neyswa. I want to change, for you." His voice was earnest, and for a moment, I saw a glimmer of something kind in his eyes.

“Those weren’t mistakes, those were evil Lawsik. You took everything from me and now you want to play house. You want me to kiss you, to dress up for you, to love you. I can’t pretend that everything is okay like you can.” Hesitating for a moment, I reach up to the top he’d given me, clutching it. “You need to let me go.”

"No, Neyswa," Lawsik responded, his voice firm yet gentle. "I can't let you go. Not when there's a chance that you might come back to me." He paused, his gaze softening as he added, "But I will let you say goodbye. You deserve closure, and I won't stand in the way of that."

“But you said you would let me say goodbye. I want you to let me go. Let me go!” I raised my voice but the sound was actually drowned out by the sound of something else, something louder.

“Is that what I think it is?” I ask as Lawsik snatches me into the darkness, his hand clamping down over my mouth.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 51

Reaching up to Lawsik’s hand, I try to pry it from my mouth. What the hell was he doing, what the hell was he doing? All of this over a helicopter? Something so far up in the sky that they couldn’t see us if they tried.

His grip tightened as the sound of the helicopter grew louder, the shadows in the forest deepening as the sun began to set. "Stay quiet, Neyswa," he whispered, his voice barely audible over the roar of the machine. "We can't afford to be found."

I couldn’t breathe, he was going to suffocate me if he held on any further. Raising my hands, I begin to sign to him, hoping he paid attention when he was with our clan. I can’t breathe.

He seemed to understand what I was signing, his grip loosening just enough for me to take in a shallow breath. His eyes remained focused on the sky, the sound of the helicopter growing fainter with each passing moment.

Once he released his hold on my mouth, I slipped from his grasp, inhaling as much air as I could. “You monster! It’s just a helicopter. Why would you need to hide? You’re the one who goddamn kidnapped me!”

Lawsik didn't respond, his gaze still fixed on the sky. He looked almost scared, a stark contrast to the ruthless warrior he had always portrayed himself to be. "Because they are looking for you, Neyswa," he muttered under his breath, his grip on my arm tightening.

“What,” I asked, turning around, my gaze trained on his. “They’re looking for me? Why the hell would they be looking for me?”

Trying to step out of the darkness, Lawsik pulls me back toward him. “Neyswa, there is more I need to tell you.”

“Wow, more after you just said all this mushy crap to me. Not like I believed you but you could at least try to back your shit up.” I said, pushing myself off of him. “Let go of me!”

“Neyswa,” he pleaded, his grip firm. “It’s important.”

“And you do know them and you just decided to tell me now?” Trying to pry him away, I wince. “Did you think you would show me this little house and I would come falling for you? That I would come to be your mate and just give you all the kids and this fantasy you want? When were you going to tell me this Lawsik? Before or after you would force me to be stuck with you! What do you know!” I screamed.

“Don’t yell at me.” He said, bending down to press a kiss to my cheek. “Please, just enjoy your time with me today. We can talk tonight.”

Looking into his eyes I could see something different from the usual anger, something deeper than the hunger in his eyes. Fear.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” I asked. “Are you scared because of what they will do to me when they find me or are you scared because they will hurt me?”

“I don’t know what they want with you Neyswa, I just know they want you and if my enemy wants something, I want it more. I need it more.” His voice sounded raw as he spoke, his arms reaching out to stroke mine. “I will keep you safe. I will protect you, Neyswa," he pledged, his eyes burning with a determination that was both frightening and comforting in its intensity. "No matter what it takes, I won't let them harm you."

“You can’t protect me from yourself, and if you tell me-”

“Neyswa!” He screamed, his voice silencing the forest around us.

Surprised by the sudden scream, I pull away from him and step out of the darkness, avoiding his next grasp for me. “Don’t yell at me. You’re scaring me.”

His eyes widened, realization dawning on his face, "I...I didn't mean to scare you, Neyswa," he whispered, the anger in his voice replaced with regret. "I'm sorry."

Reaching up to him, I shove him away and he allows me to. “Let me go.”

"No, Neyswa," Lawsik replied, his voice breaking. "I can't. I can't let you go." His eyes were filled with desperation, his hands trembling as he reached out to me once again.

Looking around me, I reach down out and yank out a piece of archer’s thicket. Holding out the end of the stick toward him he continues forward until I turn it around toward myself, placing it over my heart.

“I can heal from most things. I know I can. But I don’t think even I can heal from something like this.” I said, taking another step away.

His eyes widened in horror as he took in my words. "Neyswa," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Please. Don't do this."

“Then get away from me.” I said so, taking another step away from him.

But he stood frozen, his gaze locked on the thicket in my hand. "I... I can't," he stammered, the fear evident in his voice. "Please, Neyswa. Don't make me do this."

Taking a step toward me, Lawsik reaches a hand outward when I dig the end of the stick into my skin. It was painful, to drive it into my skin, my hand trembling as I bit down on my screams.

But I didn't falter. I pressed it deeper, the pain a stark reminder of my determination. "Stay back!" I managed to gasp out between clenched teeth, my eyes locked on Lawsik's horrified expression.

He froze, his eyes wide with shock and fear. "Neyswa, please," he begged, his voice so soft I could barely hear it. But I didn't back down. I couldn't. Not when my freedom was at stake. Walking backward into the woodlands, I look around before dropping the stick on the ground.

Running away from Lawsik was scary but running toward where I thought he wasn’t was scarier. The forests in Pandora were not kind. There were unknown growls around every corner. I couldn’t even strip myself of the colorful streamers because Lawsik would probably just sniff me down.

“Neyswa!” He screamed through the forest, his voice calling out for me through the chirping and rustling of trees. “I’m sorry!”

But his apologies fell on deaf ears. I didn't have the luxury of entertaining his regrets or his pleas. I had to keep moving, had to keep running. If I stopped now, it was over. I wouldn't let it be over. Not yet. Not like this.

“What would Ik’tanhi do, what the hell would he do.” Knocking my fingers into my head, I turn around and look at the large pinecone-like tree behind me. “Suck it up, suck it up. It’s just a height.”

Grasping onto one piece of the tree, I begin to pull myself upward, flat branch by branch until I am near the top. Nuzzling my body between one of the flat branches, I flinch when I hear Yrrpe let out a loud roar, the sounds of her wings getting closer and closer.

I hold my breath, pressing myself as close to the trunk as possible. "Please, don't find me," I whisper into the wind, the roar growing louder and louder. Suddenly, it stops and I dare to peek out from my hiding spot, only to see Yrrpe looking at me, Lawsik on her back.

Watching Yrrpe come closer she places her face close to mine, Lawsik trying to beckon her away.

“Please.” Whispering to the beast, I reach out and gently pat her face, praying Lawsik does not see me.

To my surprise, Yrrpe pulls back, giving me a huff from her airways before turning away with Lawsik who calls out to me again.

“Neyswa please, I am sorry!” He says, looking around, his hand over his heart as he speaks.

"Too late," I whispered, watching as they flew off, leaving me alone in the dense forest. Despite the terror that gripped me, a sense of relief washed over me. I was free, or at least as free as I felt I could be.

Forcing my body from between the folds of the tree, I hop down and begin to pull the streamers from my body. Slipping under the tree, I begin to bind them around my feet, trying my best to make some makeshift shoes. I probably didn’t have long before Lawsik came back and made his rounds.

Binding the streamers around my chest next, I give my shoulders a good roll before looking around.

“I need food, a weapon…” Mumbling to myself, I look up into the sky, Yrrpe, and Lawsik nowhere in sight. “Where is the one place he thinks I wouldn’t go.”

My mind raced, each potential answer as terrifying as the last. But then, it hit me. "The caves," I whispered, the word echoing through the silent forest. "He won't expect me to go there."

Looking up toward the mountain top, I begin to jog in that direction. I didn’t have much time. I had little to no time.

Making it to the mountain Lawsik calls home, I look toward the sky again, seeing nothing but clouds, ikran, and birds as far as the eye can see.

“Shit, I never climbed a mountain before,” I said, slowly beginning to pull myself up the mountain, praying a large wind didn’t send me over the edge.

I knew nothing of the mountains in his land, hell I didn’t even know if the rocks were going to become sentient and pull themselves out for me. Pulling myself higher, I flinch when I hear a loud roar from behind me.

Turning around, my heart sinks as I see Yrrpe circling in the distance, Lawsik on her back. I press myself against the mountain, hoping they won’t notice me clinging to the side. It wouldn’t be that hard though to see a bright blue and streamer-covered woman climbing upward.

As they swoop lower, I squeeze my eyes shut, and hold my breath. The sound of Yrrpe's wings grows louder, the rush of wind against my skin nearly making me lose my grip. Holding back the scream in my throat, I grip harder, leaning myself against the cold mountain rock.

“Eywa, please hear my prayers.” Pulling myself higher I tremble trying to raise myself higher.

Seeing the lip of his cave, I continue upward, pulling myself up onto the ledge of the cave until I am fully inside. Moving toward the belly of the cave I quickly jog inside to where I’d been staying with Lawsik. Grabbing Ik’tanhì and Nguyo’s shawl I quickly begin to bind them around my body, making a makeshift backpack. I quickly begin to stuff things away.

“Food, where did he keep the food again.” Looking over the various baskets I begin to pop the tops of them one by one. Everything in here was so organized yet I couldn’t find the goddamn food.

Turning on my heels, I look to the ceiling where Lawsik has a few more baskets hanging from the ceiling. Climbing on top of a small mushroom-covered groove, I reach up and grab one of the nearest baskets, giving it a strong tug.

“Is this food?” I asked myself, trying to pull again when I heard a shifting from the front of the cave, the light being swallowed up by Lawsik’s shadow.

Looking over my shoulder, I see Lawsik standing there, his body closer to mine than I expected. Sometimes I forgot he was Tipani, that he could also be silent unless he wanted to be heard.

Lawsik approached me slowly, his footsteps echoing in the cave. Before I could react, he had me in his grasp, my body pinned down to the cave wall. His eyes were locked on the faint fading wound on my chest, his gaze softening as his tongue darted out to lick the wound.

“What the hell are you doing,” I said, trying to move my arms under him. It was strangely sensual, the way he held eye contact with me while he licked at my delicate skin.

“Ma Neyswa, I am sorry.” He whispered, his voice filled with enough regret that my own heartstrings tugged an uncomfortable tune. “I’m so, so sorry.” His lips pressed against my wound, his kiss an even blend of his desperation and regrets.

“I can give you anything you want,” he continued, his voice warped from pleading as he fell onto his knees, his bottom resting on the back of his feet. “Just let me join you. Please, I need to be by your side.”

His hands moved to my arms, his lips pressing soft kisses down my body over and over. “I’m sorry,” he repeated with every kiss, his voice barely above a whisper. I could feel the sincerity in his words, in his kisses and it made my heart ache, uncomfortably. I worried about myself. Was I a willing butterfly, resting on the web of a black widow?

His apologies weren’t enough though. Not enough to erase the horrible things he’d done to me. “You should be sorry,” I scolded, my voice filled with a mix of disgust and fear. Yet, I didn’t stop his kisses. I couldn’t bring myself to stop him, not when it felt oddly satisfying.

I had the man who took everything from me kissing my feet, literally. There was a certain thrill in seeing Lawsik in this state, in having the power to manipulate him to my will. So I did it, I held out my other arm for him, silently demanding his pity kisses. His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t hesitate to meet my silent demands. As silent tears rolled down my cheeks, he showered my arm with kisses, his lips warm for some reason against my hot skin.

Then he went upward, his mouth kissing away every tear that fell from my eyes.

“I’m sorry Neyswa. I know I can not take back the things I’ve done but I want you not to forgive me or forget. I want you to accept me. I will change, I am changing for you. If I ever scream at you, feel free to take my voice away because everything I am, is yours.” He whispered, leaning in to move his lips to mine.

Capturing them in an intense kiss, I am surprised when I feel a shiver trail down my spine. He pinned me against the wall again this time, leaving room for escape if I wished for it. His body pressed against mine as he deepened the kiss, his hands roaming my body, his touch setting my hot skin ablaze. I didn’t know why I was reacting like this. I didn’t understand until he held my waist, pulling me in as close as could be. It was the power I had over him which drove me insane. I’d been stuck twice, feeling powerless. Once when I was at the mercy of my father and the second when I was at the mercy of the Katotxampay. I’d been looking at this like I was his captor but after today, he was mine.

“I’m sorry.” He said again, breaking the kiss.

Panting, I reach up to touch his necklace before pulling him back to me, and kissing him. He wasted no time meeting my needs with equal, if not more, fervor. He was desperate to please me, to make me happy.

“You will let me bury my mates, you will let me go to the Katotxampay and you will give me my freedoms. Feel free to come along but those things will be mine.” I said so, my forehead against his. “Give me those and I will give myself to you, I promise.”

His eyes widened at my words, a mix of relief and surprise flashing across his face. "Yes," he agreed breathlessly. "Yes, Neyswa, I promise."

I just hoped my plans would come through, the last thing I wanted was to feel like Soye did in her last moments. It just depends. Was I the butterfly or the spider?

“Come, let’s rest,” I said, pointing to the bedding.

“Yes, Neyswa. Anything you want.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 52

“This is the map you made?” I said, looking behind me as Lawsik slipped another few beads into my hair.

I’d been sat in his lap, eating small fruit that tasted of sour candies. Something most Na’vi were not fond of, yet I loved them.

Placing one of the fruits in my mouth, I lean forward and pick up the crude map, holding it up in my hands. According to this, it would take days to reach the Katotxampay and even then we had to be careful to avoid the RDA. If they wanted me, I didn’t want to be on their radar.

"We'll have to travel at night and stay hidden during the day," I muttered, tracing my fingers over the map. "We can't afford any mistakes. Got it?” I asked Lawsik, looking behind myself to look into his blood-orange eyes.

He nodded in understanding, his eyes serious as he met my gaze. "I understand, Neyswa," he said, his voice low and determined. "We will do everything in our power to avoid detection."

Smiling, I turn around in his lap and give him a happy pat on the chest. “Thank you, for letting me do this. It means a lot to me.”

His hand came up to gently cup my cheek, a soft, almost tender expression crossing his face. "I would do anything for you, Neyswa," he murmured, his thumb tracing a gentle pattern against my skin. "Remember that."

“I know, I know,” I said, pushing his hand away from my face. Resting my head against his chest, I closed my eyes, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat providing a comforting backdrop to our conversation. "I promise I won't forget," I whispered, my words barely audible.

We spent the rest of the evening sketching out our route, talking about potential dangers and how to avoid them. As the hours passed, I realized that Lawsik was more than what I'd initially thought of him. He was flawed, yes, but he was also willing to change, to grow, and for that, I found myself feeling an odd sense of something I couldn’t quite name.

“You said we can’t live for a few days, why?” I asked, watching him cook a meal for the both of us, his large body rather delicate with the tools he’d been using.

He looked over his shoulder at me, a small smile playing on his lips. "We need to prepare, gather enough supplies, and rest. We'll need all the energy we can get for the journey," he explained, turning back to the meal he was preparing.

“Aren’t you scared I will leave you to die if we get attacked by the RDA?” Coming beside him, I pull Nguyo and Ik’tanhì’s shawls tighter over my shoulders.

He paused, turning to look at me with a soft smile. "I trust you, Neyswa," he said simply, his gaze meeting mine. "And I believe in us, together. We'll face whatever comes our way."

“What if Nguyo and Ik’tanhì are alive? What if I leave you for them?” I asked the question that had been weighing on my mind. My mates could have survived the explosions, the chances were narrow but they were there.

He looked at me, a strange mix of sadness and understanding in his eyes. "Then I would let you go, Neyswa," he said quietly. "I want your happiness, even if it's not with me."

“If you wanted that, you wouldn’t have kidnapped me,” I said so, resting my face against my fist. “What will you actually do? The clan will try to kill you for what you did.”

He was silent for a moment, his gaze focused on the fire before him. "I will face whatever consequences come my way, Neyswa," he finally said. "Even if it means my death."

“You would not only release me but you would just let yourself die? What changed your mind?” I asked, coming behind Lawsik, my hand resting just above his tail.

He turned to look at me, his eyes reflecting the glow of the fire. "You did, Neyswa. You changed my mind," he admitted, his voice laced with sadness. "You’re my mate, I want you to be happy.”

“We aren’t mates.” I corrected him, gripping the area around his tail, my fingers sliding around the smooth skin. “I’m not yours. You killed my mates.” I corrected him, yanking his tail.

His body stiffened under my touch, his gaze hardening. “Yes, I killed them," he admitted his tone a thin line between delicate and uncomfortable. “You are quick to remind me often.”

"But it's the truth, isn't it?" I retorted, my fingers tightening around his tail. "You can't expect me to forget that, Lawsik. They were everything to me. You took them away. I was a weak dying human and they loved me no matter what. They took me in when I had no one else. You know my father killed me but you don’t know the things he did to me. He did horrible things to me as a child, he hit me, he yelled at me, and he never visited me. Did I ever tell you that I was so, so sick as a child that I couldn’t wake up for days, that I couldn’t walk? They had so many tubes inside of my body that I looked nothing close to human. There was a time when I died and they had to bring me back to life and that is just one of the times I know about everything. Ik’tanhì and Nguyo knew that and they still loved me. My adoptive mother took me in and I was a terrible person. Everyone accepted me and that is after I changed. You kidnapped me, you took everything from me and you want me to love you and accept you in such a short amount of time. Yes, I am quick to remind you because you were quick to take away everything I had. Now I have nothing. I have you and you’re nothing to me.” I growled, releasing his tail, and pushing him away from the cooking food. “You want to make me happy? Give me my life back. Give me a reason to feel alive!”

“I can’t!” He said, pulling the food from the flames. “I can’t do that Neyswa! Apologizing means nothing when I can’t give you what you want so I won’t apologize. I can only ask that you give me the chance to make things better.” He came forward, falling to his knees in front of me. “Let me be nothing to you Neyswa but you will be everything to me.”

Again, a spider and a butterfly. I could never tell which Lawsik was when he groveled before me.

As if reading my mind, he reached down to his hip pulling a blade free from its holster. Forcing the blade into my hand, he places it over his heart. “If you want me to be nothing, make me nothing if it will make you happy. I will join my ancestors and wait for you with Eywa.”

It was finally my time to get my revenge. Here he was, offering himself up on a platter for me to take, for me to claim. It would be easy, It would take seconds. He took everything from me and I had a chance to make things right. I’d pictured this a hundred times in my mind, finally avenging my mates.

Yet, as I looked into his eyes my hand began to tremble, my grip on the blade loose. It would have fallen from my hand if he were not holding it up with me. Dropping my grip completely, I shake my head silently. I didn’t have the balls to kill him, I was a coward.

"Still," I said my voice barely above a whisper, "I can't, Lawsik. I can't kill you." I moved away from him, the blade dropping to the ground between us.

“I knew you cared, I knew I wasn’t nothing. I know it’s not love Neyswa, but I know you care.” He spoke gently, standing up before me. “Neyswa, I adore you.” He pulled me against him, his arms tracing my spine. “Ma Neyswa.”

I let him hold me in his strangely intimate hug, or maybe I let myself be held. I hated it, I hated how I needed to be held by someone else to feel like I wasn’t anything.

“Take me back to the cave, I want to lay down, would you like to join me?” I said so, pulling from his hug.

He looked at me for a moment, then nodded, a soft smile on his face. "I would like that, Neyswa," he responded, scooping me up into his arms, and taking me away to the cave. I couldn’t even bring myself to cry. All I felt was the sad truth, my mates were gone and I was with Lawsik, the last square of my old happiness.

We were quick to go back to the cave. Quick and silent until Lawsik decided to speak in that silence.

“Do you want children, Neyswa?” Lawsik ran his fingers over the bare skin of my stomach as we both lay under the bioluminescence plant life within the cave.

“For some time? No, I couldn’t imagine being a parent considering who my parents were. My mother was absent and my father was cruel. With Ik’tanhì and Nguyo by my side, I wanted a lot of children, a lot. They told me Na’vi have a lot of children usually so we agreed on ten.” Sighing I reach under Lawsik’s fingers so they don’t touch my skin.

“I would like us to have a son, Neyswa. Someone kind and normal, unlike his father.” Lawsik slid his fingers lower, toying with the ropes on my loincloth.

"I don't want children, Lawsik. Not with you," I said, turning so my bottom was not against him. “Who would want to mother your children?”

His hand stilled on my skin, and for a moment there was silence. Then, his voice came out low and soft, filled with a strange kind of sadness. "I understand, Neyswa," he said, his tone gentle yet resigned. "I won't ask again."

Sitting up, I reach up to hold his face. “Who would want children that have your looks and obsessive personality?” I teased him some more and the sadness simmered from his eyes.

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. "I suppose you're right, Neyswa. My looks and personality could be quite overwhelming for a child," he said, his eyes bright with mirth despite the lingering sadness. “Plus, why would I want children with you Neyswa? They would never forgive me for my mistakes.”

"My children with Ik’tanhì would have been amazing. My sass, my stubbornness, and his will? They would have been amazing. My children with Nguyo? Also amazing. I hope they would have gotten his kindness, and his punching skills.” Jokingly pushing my fist into his jaw, I laugh, my hand going over my chest before it shifts into a sob.

"Who am I kidding?" I said, my voice trembling. "I’m not meant to have children, I’m not meant to be happy. I don’t think it’s meant for me to be happy. Failed on Earth, failed as a human and now I’m a failed Na’vi.” The tears kept coming as I tried to wipe my face clean. “Eywa saved me just for me to ruin my own life.” Looking to Lawsik I slam my fist into his chest. “I should have let you die, I should have let you die that night.”

Grabbing my fist, he pulls me against him and I weep into his chest, my voice echoing off the cave walls. “I hate you.”

His arms tightened around me, his voice a soft murmur against my hair. "I know, Neyswa," he said, his words heavy with regret. "And I am sorry, I’m so sorry.” He said so, gently holding me in his arms. All I could think about was Nguyo and Ik’tanhì though. They are all I wanted.

“Is this too tight?” Lawsik asked me, tightening the too-small bag around my waist. We weren’t carrying much, just enough to make it to our first checkpoint.

We were both prepared for quick and light travel, carrying nothing but a blade for hunting, some rations to snack on if hunting failed, and the clothes on our backs with basic hygiene. We’d dropped the bright streamers and the clothes of the Tipani for something lightweight and green, something to help us blend in. Lawsik even let me braid his loose-flowing hair into many little braids.

“Do you need to bring those?” He asked, looking at the shawls on my shoulders. “They’re bright, even for the night.”

“I lied,” I said, reaching to adjust the bags on my body. “I said these were mine, these were Nguyo and Ik’tanhì's. I wanted to leave these with them.” I said, giving the shawls a squeeze. “Is that a problem?”

Lawsik seemed uncomfortable, his nose wrinkling at my answer. He looked disgusted but instead of bringing up his concerns, he shook his head. “No, I just thought it was yours. I wondered why it smelled like those two.”

“Just, go down to Yrrpe, I will be there soon. I think I forgot something.” Fanning him away, I place my hands on my hips before turning back to head into the belly of the cave.

Making sure Lawsik is gone, I quickly head toward his little trophy pile from the fallen RDA. Looking through the cracked walkie-talkies, I give them all a push, praying they turn on. Most of them were on the brink of breaking but a few hummed to life, then died instantly.

“Shit.” Whispering to myself, I shove the pile until I see one buried toward the bottom. “Please, work,” I said, giving the walkie-talkie a shake. Watching it buzz to life, I hear Yrrpe’s roar when I flinch shoving the walkie into my bag.

“Neyswa!” Lawsik calls out to me, and I quickly gather myself, jogging to the cave entrance. “Coming!”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 53

Ik’tanhì’s POV

The sky people tainted me and turned me into a liar.

I’d lied to Neyswa, I promised never to drop her and here I was, empty-handed and alone. Neyswa was my mate and I couldn’t even protect her. Nguyo seemed to be handling things worse though. I was used to losing people I loved, I could push through the typical sting that never left your chest but Nguyo was new to this. He lost his parents but had more family there to take care of him, but the loss of Neyswa bore a hole through him.

At night in the marui, he would weep while he thought I slept and in the morning he would smile in the faces of our people, doing as an Olo’eyktan should. He’d asked me to step in and be a temporary Tsahìk while Ema’ti was still unconscious and Neyswa was missing but this was not the life for me. I was not a spiritual man, the only prayers I’d given to Eywa were to allow me to bring my mate home safely.

It was why I’d come here, come back to the people who pushed me away.

“Ik’tanhì?” Rina called from behind me, her dream walker body coming closer than I wanted it to be. Humans were always too quick to approach you.

Behind Rina came Laysru, the young storyteller from this fragment of the Tipani. He’d been interested in her for ages, I was not surprised to see them hand in hand now.

“Toktor Rina, I need to speak to you along with Toktor Hughs and… Royce.” It felt gross to ask these people for help knowing they left my mate for dead but it was the best I had.

“Is something wrong with Geo- Neyswa? Is something wrong with her?” The smile on her face shifted into something else, something I never saw on her face aside from the moment Neyswa was dead.

“We will discuss this in private,” I said, crossing my arms. “Get the other dream walkers.”

“You will not speak to my mate like that,” Laysru said, coming in front of Rina, his fists on his hips.

"I am not here to argue with you, Laysru," I responded sternly, maintaining my composure. "This matter is urgent and concerns all of us. I insist you fetch the others immediately. If I repeat myself again, you will be the one to suffer.”

Laysru glared but nodded, making his way to find the other dream walkers. I turned my gaze back to Rina, who looked anxious. "This is about Neyswa," I confirmed softly, "but I will explain more when the others arrive."

“Then please come with me.”

“Wait dude, run that back again?” Royce said, his little smelly human body pacing back and forth in the cramped little metal shelter.

It was so the humans could breathe.

“My name is Ik’tanhì,” I corrected Royce and looked back to Rina and Hughs. “It is as I said. My people were attacked by Sky people and Neyswa has vanished. I would like to think she has been taken by another Na’vi named Soltok. The corpse he disguised as Neyswa smelled like him, he is also missing and we have gone through all the bodies. He and Neyswa are the only ones unaccounted for.” Most of this was strewn together from what I could pick up along with what I’d been told from Anki’.

Anki’ said he’d seen Soye, the dead woman, with Soltok before this all happened.

“You said the RDA attacked?” Hughs ran a hand through his greying hair, the bags under his eyes darker than when I’d last seen him. “It would explain all the chatter coming through the walkie-talkies lately.”

“Here, I have a map of everything we’ve discovered.” Rina came between Hughs and me, pinning the map to a wall.

“Wish we had a darn holotable,” Royce said, crossing in front of me to view the map. “Was it here?” He pointed to where my clan was, the RDA building where I was once captured now nothing but a stain on the map.

“No, Eywasey is here.” Pointing to the southwest of where our clan is, I sigh. “Our people have been coming here for years now and RDA has never found us, they have never struck because there is nothing for them to gain when they already take so much.” My thumb lingered over the spot on the map. “We have been searching for Neyswa or any sign of the RDA since but we’ve had no success.”

“What if Soltok took her to safety? Are you sure he could have taken her?” Hughs said so, scratching his beard.

“Soltok is a newcomer to our clan. We do not trust him but Neyswa has taken a liking to him. He has been vying for her since she healed him from a toruk attack.” Just saying so disgusted me. Knowing he probably took the chance to steal her away, who else was close enough to Soye to do so?

“Wait, did you say there is chatter?” Rina asked Hughs, turning around to him.

“Yeah well, remember that Signal from a while back?” Royce cut in, pointing to the old RDA building. “There was a lot of chatter around here but lately it’s been in a few hot spots. I’ve been to those areas with some of the other Na’vi and the RDA were putting up these towers.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me!” Rina said, fisted hands on her hips.

"I didn't think it was important, Rina!" Royce defended himself, throwing his hands in the air. "We just thought they were trying to boost their signals or something." Royce moved over to the corner of the room, picking up one of the human trinkets.

“What does this all mean? Can you all help me find Neyswa or have I wasted my time?” I snapped, the humans turning back to look at me. “He could not have gotten further than your clan without someone seeing him.”

“Wait did you say a toruk?” Hughs came forward and circled over the village we stood in. “And where did you find this, Soltok?” He asked.

“Just North of our village, here. He was near death. Why do you ask?” Pointing to the spot on the man, Hughs makes another circle and then places another just Northeast of this village.

“A little bit ago one of the guards said he spotted a toruk. They never come this close or get this low to the village but he saw it at night. Everyone said he was drunk and confused. He claimed he saw a rider a-”

“Toruk Makto?” I said, stiffening up. “Bring that guard here, quickly,” I said, looking over to the Royce human who was already putting a mask over his face.

As we waited, I paced restlessly, my mind whirling with the implications. Could Soltok have become Toruk Makto? If so, finding Neyswa just became a whole lot more complicated. Why would he do this though? What did she have that he wanted? I know he kissed her but she rejected him.

“You, you said she healed him?” Rina asked, raising an eyebrow. “What do you mean she healed him?”

“That is for Neyswa to tell you, not me,” I said, turning away from her.

Rina sighed, rolling her eyes. “I know you’re upset with us because you think we just let her die that night but-”

“I do not think you let her die, I know you let her die. All of you. Do you think I wanted to come ask you all to help? I would sooner turn over every rock in the forest but I needed Neyswa here, I need her safe by my side.” I slammed my fist onto the table, the cups of black liquid threatening to spill over. “I will not tell you anything about Neyswa unless she is here to confirm that she would like to tell. Now, be silent until the guard comes.”

Before anyone could respond, the door swung open and Royce returned with the guard, a young human who looked pale and nervous. "I swear I saw it," he insisted. "A Toruk with a rider, flying north."

Coming over to the human, I squat down so we are more on their level. “Was the rider alone? Did he have a female Na’vi with him as well? Did you see their faces,” I drilled the human with questions, my hands threatening to tremble as I spoke.

The guard swallowed hard, his eyes flicking between the humans and me. "I... I couldn't see their faces," he admitted. "But there was definitely someone else with the rider. I couldn't tell if it was a female, but... but the size and shape... it could have been. All I know is that he had a walkie with him, you can tell because the darn screen is like a beacon at night.”

Feeling my heart begin to pound in my chest, I clutch down on my trembling fist. “Thank you.” Standing up, I turn around to Hughs and point to the map. “Give me that, please.”

He handed me the map and I rolled it up before nodding to the walkie-talkie. “I need one of those too. If you are hearing RDA then I need to hear them too.”

“No,” Royce said, shaking his head.

“No?” I repeated with a chuckle. In a matter of seconds, I was across the metal shelter pinning Royce to the wall. “I am not asking for your permission, Royce.”

“Ik’tanhì please,” Hughs said, coming over to the both of us. “I am sure Royce has his reasoning. He knows more about the RDA military than the rest of us.”

I released Royce, stepping back and crossing my arms. "Fine," I conceded, my gaze intense. "Explain, Royce. What is your reasoning?"

Rubbing his arms, Royce shakes his head muttering something in English.

“When I was with the RDA, before I was assigned to watching Neyswa I was running with the big dogs. The RDA has the resources to find Neyswa if they really want to. They wouldn’t just bomb your people and run without getting what they wanted. If what Henry says is true though, it means that Soltok guy took her and went somewhere the RDA won’t be able to find him.” Royce said so, trying to gather his breathing.

“And that means?” I asked, growing rather tiresome with the humans speaking in circles.

“It means if he really did take Neyswa he went off the map with her. He won’t be lurking around the RDA towers.” Holding his hand out for the map, I begrudgingly hand it over.

"He probably took her to a place where he knows the RDA would not dare venture. A place hidden and secure," Royce continued, tracing a path on the map to an uncharted territory. "We need to start thinking like Soltok if we want to find them.” Watching him circle large portions of the map, he carefully jots down a few numbers. “The RDA has a couple of radio channels that they use to talk. The one Georgia’s dad had our base using was 462.5625. Neyswa wouldn’t know that though, she never got to know. The other RDA stations I remember are these two. The chatter is from this one.” He pointed to the human numbers and then back to the map where the RDA station was. “If the chatter is them spotting Neyswa then we know she will be over here.”

He straightened up, taking sips of the smelly black liquid.

“So what is the plan?” Rina said, her arms crossing. “We just scour for miles?”

"No," Royce replied, shaking his head. "We narrow down the search. We start from the last known location and move in the direction the toruk was seen flying. We also keep our ears open for any chatter that might indicate their whereabouts. Time is of the essence. We start at dawn."

“We?” I said, reaching down for the map and walkie-talkie. “Neyswa is my mate and the tsakarem for our people. You can stay here. If you die trying to find her, Neyswa will be sad.”

“You can’t stop us from coming to help you Ik’tanhì. Neyswa is our friend, I’m not going to stand around while she gets kidnapped.” Royce said so giving me the same sass Neyswa usually would.

"Then prepare for a long journey. This won't be easy and it certainly won't be without danger," I said sternly, meeting each of their gazes. "We leave at dawn. I need to gather some people from my clan. We won’t be slowing down for your human pace.”

“Wouldn’t ask you to,” Royce said, holding his hand out for me.

“What are you doing?” I said, pushing his hand away. “Just be ready.”

The moment I was away from the three of them, I found myself leaning against a tree, my hand resting over my pounding heart. “I’m coming for you Neyswa, I promise.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 54

Standing in the river, I gently run large handfuls of ice-cold water over my face. If there was one thing about missing your mates, it was the physical connection after you’d bonded with them. I could talk to Nguyo and Ik’tanhì for hours, I could also make love to them for hours. Nguyo was handsy once he’d lost his virginity so physical affection was a constant but Ik’tanhì teased me often. Brushing his hand down my spine, kissing my neck, hell, even when he playfully yanked my tail it got my gears going. If they were alive I’d put it on them like no one’s business. Part of me still held onto that nugget of hope that they were out there. There was a chance, they’d both survived worse, right? If they weren’t here anymore I think Eywa would break my heart, I think there would be a feeling in my gut. Yet right now all I felt was separated from the people I loved the most.

Closing my eyes, I let myself sink down into the river so I am completely submerged. I needed to cool off, I needed to calm my mind.

“Neyswa!” Lawsik called out for me, stepping into the waters to come over to me. Slipping his hands under my arms, he hoists me up into the air. “Are you trying to drown yourself?”

“No, I’m just trying to cool off,” I said so, dangling in his grasp. The cool droplets from my body ran down his hands. Flushing, I wriggle in his arms. “Put me down!”

“If my mate is going to try and join Eywa I would like to prevent that.” He grumbled, still holding me up in the air, his thumbs brushing gentle circles into my skin. “Plus, you feel clean enough.” He lowered me back into the air, yet his hands slipped down to my waist.

"Stop that," I swatted his hands away, splashing him with water. "I'm not your mate, Lawsik, I've already told you that." I turned away from him, my eyes focusing on the clear reflection of the moon in the water.

I hated to admit it but everywhere he touched me right now ignited my skin with flame. It made me remember my first night with Nguyo, him being rough with me in every way I pleased. If he were my mate I would have taken him right now but I had to have some backbone.

“That is fine, I can be your mate.” He came forward, sliding his fingers down my spine.

Balling my hands into fists I try to calm my breathing as he touches me. Every gentle touch pushed me further and further over that rocky cliff I was standing on.

Trying my best to calm my shallow breathing, I weakly reach out behind me, nudging his hand off my back. “You can be my what?” His words went from one ear to the other as he swapped hands, sliding his hand down my arm.

“Yours,” He whispered in my ear, his breath cool compared to the heat my body was producing. I felt like a star leaking off warmth as he came closer, his hand continuing its trail down my arm, his grip resting around my wrist. My breathing hitched as he came closer, his body hovering near mine.

Gently, he turned me around to face him, his eyes searching mine for any sign of discomfort. "I can be yours, Neyswa," he repeated softly, his thumb tracing small circles on my wrist.

“In what way?” I asked, looking from his face to his hand on my wrist. For something so gentle it had that familiar coil of heat winding in my stomach.

"In every way," he murmured, his gaze steady on mine. "However you need me to be. If you need a protector, I'll be that. If you need a companion, I'll be that too. If you need me to be a mate, I'll become that for you."

Pulling away from him, it takes everything in me to shove him away. “No, I need you to be just, right there! Stand right there!” Pointing to a spot not that far from me, I reach out and pat his chest. It was firm and muscular, the opposite of my softer body. Just more proof of how he had the upper hand always, yet he wasn’t forcing himself on me.

“Stand here?” He asked coming closer, his body inches from mine. “Or here.” He asked, coming closer, his chest flush against mine. “Is there where you want me?”

“Lawsik,” I said, my eyes clasping shut so I could gain some composure.

“Yes Neyswa?” He whispered my name like a prayer, positioning himself between my body and the rocky ground behind us. “Does my mate need anything?”

I found myself being seated against the smooth stone beside the river. It cooled my bottom as Lawsik pressed forward between my thighs to continue his honey-covered flirtations. “I need one thing.”

With a growl, Lawsik roughly pulled me to him, his breath hitching as he held my bare skin in his hands. One of his hands slipped between my thighs while the other cradled the back of my head.

“One thing.” He said before his lips were on my neck, his teeth grazing my skin before he clamped down, letting the sharpest points of his teeth dig into my skin. It was like he’d hit every nerve on my neck because I was left a breathless mess in his arms.

He was anything but gentle, his fingers sinking into my thighs, tracing over the most delicate part of me. At the same time, he licked sweet hot strokes across my neck, up to my jawline. His tongue traced the line of my throat, his teeth nipping at my collarbone. He was incredibly insatiable, his kisses only gentle when he’d kissed my cheeks and lips.

“Turn around.” He demanded, pulling away from my neck. His eyes were an angry orange color as he helped me turn. “I need you Neyswa.”

Straddling the large rock, I lean against its cool surface as Lawsik begins to trail kisses up and down my spine, his hands careful to hold me in place as I squirm. Part of me hated how weak I was being, how easily I caved for kind words and a rough touch but the other half needed Ik’tanhì to just take me.

“’Tanhì.” I groaned, my head rolling to the side as he bit my shoulder.

His hands stilled momentarily at the sound of the other name, a low rumble emanating from his chest. "I'm not him, Neyswa," he murmured against my skin, his hands resuming their exploration. "But I'll try to be what you need if you'll let me."

It was as if saying my mate’s name through a cold bucket of water on me. “You’re right, you’re not him. Stop.” Shaking Lawsik off of me, I lay my head on my crossed arms. “Go before I regret telling you to go.”

His hands withdrew from my body, the warmth fading with his touch. "Very well, Neyswa," he replied, his voice filled with a tender pain. He left the river without another word, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

“You need to calm down Neyswa,’ I said to myself, running my hand down my thigh. “You need to calm down.”

This whole trip I was making was to honor my lost mates and here I was letting their killer suck and kiss the places they held dear. All the horny I’d been feeling seemed to melt into something richer, thick creamy guilt. It made that coil in my stomach rot and wither away.

“I just want my mates back.” I groaned, hitting my head against the cool rock until it sang with pain. “Get it together Neyswa.”

Standing up from the stone, I give my cheeks a firm slap before slipping back into my dropped clothes from earlier. Trudging away from the river, I find a near breathless Lawsik sitting beside the makeshift tent his hand resting on his chest as he looked back at me.

“Neyswa, you’re back.” He said, his face dappled with sweat.

"I'm back, Lawsik," I responded, avoiding his gaze. His eyes held a potent mix of concern and longing, a sight that only stirred the guilt bubbling within me. "Let's just...get some sleep."

“Yes, I am also tired.” He said, looking down at his hands, and flexing his fingers. “I will wash first and then return.” He was quick to go, his scent heavy as he walked off toward the river. If I didn’t know any better I would have assumed he rubbed one out.

The night was so silent once I was alone. I lay in the tent, my mind racing with thoughts of regret and longing that felt bone-deep. The air beside me was cold without my mates and just thinking about them brought heat back to my skin. Part of me worried I would forget their faces one day, I never returned to the old RDA building to see if there was a camera there.

As I thought of them both, I found my hand drifting down my stomach, my fingers playing with the fabric of my loincloth. Lawsik had just left and I had time, I was alone.

With a soft sigh, I allowed my hand to slip beneath the loincloth, my fingers coming into contact with the damp warmth of my own desire. My thoughts turned back to Nguyo and Ik’tanhì, to their rough hands and gentle words, and slowly, my hand began to move on its own. Even as I rolled my clit beneath my fingers I knew it wasn’t enough to quench my thirst. My body was warm and every gentle stroke of my fingers made my toes curl but it was nothing compared to being held by my mates.

Closing my eyes, I could almost see them in the darkness, their voices whispering sweet words of love and desire. The memory of them, the feel of their touch, brought me closer to the edge. Bringing my other hand up to my mouth, I clamp down on it while I give in completely. I could feel my breathless panting increasing, matching the loud buzzing beside my ear… buzzing? No, it was more like static.

“This…Lieutenant…looking for…” The voice cut in and out, drawing me out of my little session.

“Fucking RDA blue balling,” I grumbled as I sat up. Pulling the walkie-talkie from its bag, I sigh and walk out of the tent, looking around for the nearest cell tower.

Pulling up the small metal antennae on the device, I walk into the forest, raising the walkie-talkie about my head.

“This…Lieutenant…” The voice cut in again through the silence of the forest until I made it near the large cell tower. We weren’t that far from it. Lawsik said the RDA would never touch his part of the forest out of fear.

Flicking the device off and then on again, I pressed the small button on the side, "Who is this?" I asked, standing tall beneath the towering metal structure as I patiently awaited a response.

“Princess?” I heard a tired voice call out through the walkie-talkie. “Is this really you or is the sleep depriv- fuck!” Royce’s voice cut off on the other end.

From the silence came a new voice over the walkie-talkie, this one desperate and filled with worry. It was the first time I heard him like this, the first time he’d been so far away.

“Neyswa? Is this truly you?” Asked the voice on the other end, their words trembling as they spoke.

“Ik’tanhì? You’re alive?” Before I could finish speaking I felt tears sliding down my cheeks, my hand trembling as I held the walkie-talkie. “Where are you? You’re with Royce? Are you okay? Is Nguyo okay? What happened?” I began to prattle on.

The line went silent for a few heart-wrenching moments before Ik'tanhì's voice filled the silence. "Neyswa, I need you to hang up. I will get you, just hang up.” Ik’tanhì pled, his voice steady as he spoke.

“Hang up? I talked to you after I thought you died and you want me to hang up? I need you.” I said, my hands clutching the cold walkie-talkie. How could he ask me to do so? Maybe he was upset and thought I ran away, maybe he thought I was a coward.

“Neyswa, listen we don’t have much time. I need you to hang up-” Ik’tanhì’s voice faded into nothing as the walkie-talkie died in my hand.

“No, no!” Turning it over, I pry it open to see that there are no batteries inside. Inside, there was a little jumbled-up cable. Something for a charging port.

Frustrated, I throw the useless device onto the ground. I'd heard their voices, they were alive. Relief and joy overwhelmed me, leaving me breathless as I sank onto my knees, tears of happiness streaming down my face. My mates were alive and well, they were looking for me and I nearly missed it because I was too caught up on Lawsik.

“How the hell am I going to charge this thing,” I said, looking down at the now-scuffed device. If they were close enough to reach me, maybe they were close enough to be here soon. Looking up at the top of the cell tower, I take a step forward to climb it when I hear a rustle of leaves behind me.

“Lawsik?” Turning around I look around for him when something sharp pinches my neck and arm. “Lawsik!” Crying out for him this time, two more darts embed themselves in my torso.

“Neyswa!” Hearing his voice rip through the forest, I take a step forward when another dart hits me in the thigh, causing my leg to go numb.

Reaching up to my neck, I yank out the large yellow dart and do the same to the one in my thigh when I feel myself stumble forward and fall over.

“Lawsik?” Weakly calling out for him, I feel something stabbing into my lower spine and I black out.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 55

“Branch name?” Asked the woman in front of me, her legs crossed as she looked over her clipboard.

I don’t know who she was or where I was but something was obvious by the thick black logo on her shirt, she was RDA. Everyone in this whack job place was. I could tell from the way she looked at me that she wasn’t all too pleased. She looked at me like I was beneath her, I could tell too from the way they’d dressed me.

An orange jumpsuit, like I was some sort of prisoner for them to keep. She probably felt high and mighty in her shitty outdated heels and too-loose suit.

“Then just your name?” She asked, her eyes flicking down to my cuffed arms which were on either side of me, pinning me to the bench.

Not answering her again, I only cross my legs, the chains around my ankles making this somewhat hard to do. It was actually funny to think that I was a prisoner of the RDA in both of my lives.

The woman sighed before reaching down to her ear, mumbling to the person on the other side. “Yes, she won’t talk still…Sir, I don’t…Yes sir.” The woman’s gaze went up to mine and I only smiled.

"Very well," she said, her voice strained with irritation. She stood up, her chair scraping against the floor. "I'll inform the warden that you're being uncooperative." With a last disdainful look, she left the room, the door clanging shut behind her.

Looking down at the chains around my arm, I give them a strong yank trying to free myself. Fucking RDA.

After a few futile attempts, I stop. Seated in this sterile, cold room, I can't help but long for the lush greenery of Pandora. I missed the smell of the forest, I missed feeling Eywa’s pulsing under my feet and I missed the ocean most of all. I missed being with my mates, I wish to watch the sunset with my mother. Hell, right now I even missed Lawsik’s clingy behavior because at least I wouldn’t be alone and so cut off from the world.

A loud buzzing came from the door as the light ahead flicked from red to green. Watching a Na’vi…no, an avatar come into the room, it lets out a sharp whistle looking down at me.

“Sully has to deal with wars and this is the one I get? A little girl?” The army-clad man came forward, getting down on one knee in front of me. Reaching out for my cheeks, It tries to grab me and I turn my head, hissing. “Now now girl, you’re not of the blues. Stop acting like one.”

Trying to raise my limbs, I slam my foot down onto the man’s and he swears to back up some. Raising his hand toward me, I turn my head to avoid being slapped when I watch the door open, a woman coming in to stop the slap.

“Kai! That’s no way to treat our guests.” The woman said, her bright wet teeth set in a proud smile behind her thin blue lips. Another Avatar but she looked scary, unlike this Fang guy. Unlike him, her skin wasn’t scarred but something in her eyes was dangerous.

“The bitch hit me!” Kai whined, his yellow eyes boring a hole into the side of my head. “Don’t see why we don’t shoot the fucker.” He said so, licking his fangs, his enlarged pupils like two pits of shit.

Leaning back against the wall, I roll my shoulders and sigh.

“Orders from higher-ups, you know this.” She said so, patting the young man on the shoulder. “Now, I heard we needed your name, you can tell us or we can make you tell us. I won’t ask twice.”

I lifted my gaze to meet hers, and my expression hardened. Running my tongue over my lips I pause for a second, letting my spit pool in my mouth. Spitting the glob on the man’s face, I watch it slide down his cheek and he lunges forward, wrapping his hands around my neck.

"Enough, Kai!" The woman's sharp command echoed through the room, causing the man to release his hold on me. I gasped, feeling the rush of cool air fill my lungs just as quickly as it left.

Turning to me, she drops the phony smile and reaches out unlinking one of my arms from the wall. “Try to run, we shoot you. Try to fight, we shoot your mate. Do either, you’re both dead.”

I didn’t nod, instead, I let her unchain me only to have Kai slap a new pair of cuffs around my wrist, this one with a chain on the end like some sort of leash. Holding my chained legs out for the pair next, they unlink me and chain me to the chains around my wrists.

“Get up, we have something to show you.” The woman left the room first, her tail swaying calmly while the Kai fellow yanked me off my feet.

Biting down on my lower lip, I walk at a slow pace in front of Kai, causing him to shove me forward every few seconds. As I looked around I could see cold walls and other cells, some of them seemingly empty while others were not for me to be seen. From how could it be I could only assume we were in the belly of the building, nowhere near the warmth the forest provided.

Being brought to another cell, the woman pushes in a few numbers on the small blue numpad and I watch the window into the cell open slowly. Inside the cell I could see more blood than I handle, my stomach churning at the site. There Lawsik sat, his face swollen and chains around his neck as he continued to lash out. Forcing myself to look away, I swallow the familiar burn of bile in my throat.

“This is your mate, right?” The woman said, as Kai forced my head to look at Lawsik who slammed his fist into the metal doors in the cell. “If you speak we’ll let you share a cell with him. We don’t want this thing soaking the walls up with blood.”

Prying my head away from the room, I look down at my feet as I feel my heart beginning to race. It had been so long since I’d seen so much blood. I didn’t like seeing it but seeing so much of it made my stomach churn.

“Still don’t want to talk? That’s fine.” She said this and whispered something in her earpiece. Watching the necklace around Lawsik’s neck turn a bright blue I watch him tremble, drool sliding down his chin as he is electrocuted. “Are you going to talk now?” The woman urged. “We can up the voltage if you want.” Watching Lawsik weakly reach up to the collar, he tries to pry it off and fails.

“Again.” She said. “And up the voltage.” She said louder this time and I watched Lawsik slump over, his hands going limp on the ground as the shock knocked him out.

Jerking forward, I place my hands on the glass only to be yanked back by Kai. “Aww, she’s scared.”

Turning around, I try to raise my hands to slam them into Kai but the chains keeping me still strain together. “Let him go!” I screamed, struggling against the chains as I watched Lawsik's unconscious body lay motionless on the ground.

“Name.” The woman said as I stood there, my shoulders heaving up and down.

“Neyswa.” I spat back, looking at the room. “Let me inside to help him.”

“No. Not until you give us your real name. Again, Lawrence.” She said, turning to face a camera in the corner of the corridor.

Watching Lawsik get jolted from his unconsciousness, he pries at the device around his throat and I hiss at the woman, jumping at her. Feeling the chain around my ankles and arms restrict me, I am yanked back by Kai.

“Stop it, leave him alone!”

“Name!” She screamed back, her calm tone dissolving.

“Georgia Stringer! Now open the fucking door!”

The room fell silent at my words. The woman's eyes widened slightly before she composed herself, reaching up to her earpiece. "Cut the power," she ordered her gaze not leaving mine. "We have a deal."

Holding my trembling arms out to her, she unlocks the cuffs around my wrists and ankles. “Hold her still Kai.” Taking a gun from her thigh, she punched another set of numbers into the keypad and Kai shoved me into the sliding door.

Coming into the cell with Lawsik, I nearly slipped from the blood on the ground, it was everywhere and I wasn’t sure if it was his or someone else’s.

Coming over to Lawsik’s body I give him a shake, watching his nose sniff the air. Feeling his hand wrap around my throat, he growls and tightens it before looking up at me through his swollen eyes.

“Neyswa?” Groaning, he forces himself into a full seat, clenching his stomach. “Neyswa you’re okay. That is good.”

“What did they do to you?” I asked, examining his body. Instinctively reaching for my medicine pouch that wasn’t there, I turned around to the glass which I now see was two-way. I didn’t know if they were watching us, I didn’t want to know.

“They took you, I tried to fight but there were too many of them.” He whispered, his hand reaching out to move my hair from in front of my face. “Are you okay Neyswa?”

“Shut up!” I snapped, the metallic smell of blood suffocating me. “You could have died and you’re asking if I am okay?” I didn’t know why I cared. Lawsik kidnapped me and now here I was fighting to make sure he was fine. “You’re so stupid,” I said, pulling him into a tight hug. He was all I had for now, I couldn’t lose him.

“I heard you calling for me and when I came, the sky people were taking you away. I took down as many as I could before more came in. I thought they killed you, you were not moving. I am just happy you are alive, Ma Neyswa.” He weakly came forward, pressing his lips to my own.

He tasted of blood but I let him do so, anything to keep him from lashing out further. “Let me heal you,” I whispered, reaching around his back for his kuru.

“No, they are watching.” He said, looking at the mirrored window. “I can smell them, they are still here.”

Gently cupping his face, I gaze into his eyes, noting the pain he was trying so hard to hide. "I'll find a way to help you, Lawsik," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I promise."

Reaching up my sleeves, I rip them off and begin to first wipe the blood from Lawsik’s skin, carefully binding his wrist with one of the sleeves. Using the other, I began to soak up as much of the blood on the ground and walls as I could. The smell was everywhere, it was choking me out but I continued to wipe.

Every now and then I looked up to Lawsik who leaned against the wall, holding his wrist in his hands.

“Neyswa, are human places always this cold?” He asked, weakly turning his neck to the side.

"No, not always," I respond, my gaze drifting to the steel walls that separated us from the outside world. "Some places are warmer, more welcoming. This...this is a prison, Lawsik. It's meant to be cold and harsh. There is nothing safe here.” Placing the bloodied cloth in the corner, I reach down and gently tear at the bottom of the orange jumpsuit. Underneath I’d been given a tank top and some Avatar underwear. Lawsik wasn’t changed at all, he was still covered in his blood-soaked clothes.

Coming over to him, I wrapped myself around his upper body, my face resting on the side of his neck as I held him. “I will keep you warm. I rarely get cold anymore.” I whispered, reaching around to gently take his kuru in my hands.

“Neyswa, does this mean you-” Placing my fingertips over his mouth, I smile.

“No, it doesn’t mean that. I just can’t let you die. You’re all I have.” I said, removing my fingers I reached behind myself and took my kuru into my hands. “I’ve healed you before, I’m not sure if it will hurt any less.”

“It hurt the first time, a lot.” He chuckled, sinking his face into my neck. “I might scream.”

“It’s okay, you can scream,” I said, feeling the heat pulse from my body into his, the small white dots on my body igniting a bright glow.

Gently stroking Lawsik’s shivering body I feel him press his lips to my body muffling his panting. It wasn’t painful for me to do this, more intimate. It felt like my soul was weaving his back together, forcing it to work harder so he would heal faster. I used to think it was giving a piece of myself to others but now it felt more like I was the mender.

“Ma Eywa, Ma Eywa, Ma Eywa.” I sang softly as Lawsik pulled me flush against him. “I must be brave and strong, so I am worthy of you.” I continued on, hoping it would calm Lawsik who began to sweat slightly, his body hotter than I’d expected it to be.

I kept repeating the soothing words, my own heart rate steadying as Lawsik’s heavy breaths started to even out. The radiant glow from our bodies bathed the otherwise stark cell in a gentle, warm light. It was a stark contrast to the cold metal and blood stains surrounding us. “You can sleep now,” I whispered as I felt his body relaxing into me.

I just prayed they wanted us here for less malicious reasons but if they were willing to draw blood, it was worse. The main question was why they just didn’t kill us. I didn’t want to find out why, some things were worse than death.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 56

“Here you two love birds go.” Laughed one of the guards, shoving the one tray of food into the cell. Lawsik and I were made to share human scraps, things I’d not even eaten back in my human body.

Reaching out for the tray, I pinch my nose at the smell. It was enough to turn my stomach upside down.

Still, I knew we needed to eat to keep our strength up. I divided the food between us, trying not to think about what it might contain. "Eat, Lawsik," I coaxed, pushing a portion towards him. "We need to stay strong."

“Sky people’s food is trash, I do not need it.” He said, pushing the tray toward me. “You should eat.” He reached out, gently pushing my hair behind my ears. “Come eat on my lap, it will keep you warm.” He said so patting his now healed thighs.

“And give the humans more reasons to shock you? I think not. I think we need to think of a way to escape, something to get us out of the cell.” I said so, lifting the foul-smelling food to my nose.

Gagging from the smell of the rice and meat I choke it down and try not to vomit it up. I didn’t know what it was about feeding their prisoners like shit but this food sucked.

“If I were alone this would be easier, but I care for you and want you to be safe,” Lawsik spoke softly, watching me slam back the warm glass of orange juice given to us.

"But we're not alone, Lawsik. We're in this together," I responded, my voice echoing in the cold, stark cell. "We need to keep each other safe. That's how we're going to survive this."

“I don’t want you to simply survive this, I want their heads to roll, Ma Neyswa,” Lawsik said, reaching up to the collar around his neck.

It was strange now to hear him call me that, considering the fact that I was in contact with Ik’tanhì just a couple of nights ago. I was foolish to think I’d be allowed a day of peace with my mates. All I could think about right now was them and being held by both of them.

“I think I’m gonna throw this all up again,” I said, shoving the food away from me. “I know it’s disgusting Lawsik but you need some fuel in your body. If you don’t eat it for yourself then eat it for me.” Reaching out gently, I stroke the top of his large hand.

With a grumble, Lawsik finally relented. He picked up the portion of food and forced himself to eat it, grimacing with every bite. It was clear that he was doing this not because he wanted to, but because he wanted to appease me. That was enough to make me happy. If we needed to escape together I couldn’t carry his body on my own, I didn’t have the strength for that.

“Georgia.” The same female voice from yesterday spoke over the intercom, letting out a small chuckle. “I see you’re complying easier now. It’s time for your shower.”

A sense of dread washed over me as her words echoed in the cell. I didn't know what to expect, but the prospect of being separated from Lawsik, even for a short while, was terrifying. We had no choice but to comply, so I stood up, looking at Lawsik one last time before the guards came to escort me away.

“Even if I don’t come back. Don’t fight them unless you think you’re about to die. If you do, make them pay for how they treated you.” I said so as the guards came to the room, dragging me out backward.

“I love you, Neyswa.” He said, reaching out to me before the cell door slid shut between us.

I didn’t have the energy in me to lie and say it back.

Being escorted through the halls, I carefully duck under the human doors and fixtures.

“What’s your name?” I asked the blond guard, only for her to shoot me a dirty look.

"My name? It's none of your business." She retorted, her grip tightening on my arm as she led me further down the corridor.

“Well of course I don’t care about your name, I just don’t think you’d like to be called dipshit as we walk down the halls. And don’t yank on me, bitch.” Tugging my arm back from her, I watch her fall to the ground beside me.

“Blue bitch.” She says, spitting near my feet when the other guard continues to walk us down the hall.

“I like this side of you Neyswa,” Lawsik grumbled with a laugh as we were dragged into a large room with different drains on the floor. The room smelled of disinfectant and there were large squares of soup on a table beside us.

Looking over my shoulder, I watch Lawsik’s nose crinkle in disgust at the smell. “What is that?” He asked as the handcuffs were removed from both of our arms.

“It’s soap but human soap,” I said the words in English, reaching out to give the bar a turn. “It stinks though,” I said, pinching my nose. It reminded me of the soap I had to use in the hospital as a child.

I heard a buzz come from the ceiling as ice-cold water began to pour down onto the both of us. The water even smelled of disinfectant as I picked up the bar of soap beginning to scrub my skin clean.

“Let me do it Neyswa,” Lawsik said, taking the bar of soap from my hands, scrubbing my hair and back clean of everything we’d been through.

“Do you want me to return the favor?” I chuckled, taking up the second bar of soap. “Maybe they’re cleaning us to eat us.”

Lawsik let out a low chuckle, his shoulders shaking slightly in amusement. "As long as I get to eat them first," he retorted, a playful glint in his eyes belying the grimness of our situation.

“Please don’t eat anyone. I’m not a human anymore but that feels sorta, wrong.” I said in Na’vi. Grabbing Lawsik’s arm I gently begin to scrub his arm clean.

Being like this with Lawsik was something I couldn’t have seen in my wildest dreams. I didn’t know what day it was anymore or how long ago everything had happened but I knew it was beginning to make me feel worse. My mates were alive, they survived and they were looking for me. The thought of them locked up like I was turned my stomach inside out.

Closing my eyes, I rinse the strong smell of soap from my body and hair, sighing as the water stings from how cold it is. It was a lovely reminder to burn this place down on my way out. Another thing to add to the list of people to deal with. RDA, Lawsik, and anyone else who stood in the way of me seeing my mates again.

“Neyswa, are you alright?” Lawsik asked, washing a small bit of soap from my back.

"Yes, I'm okay," I reassured him, managing a small smile. "Just thinking about what we need to do next."

Watching his eyes drop to my chest, stomach, and then feet Lawsik nods and turns around as I begin to wash him clean. “I could create a distraction for you to run Neyswa, I will be fine. I can find Yrrpe and we can be free again.”

"I appreciate the sentiment, Lawsik, but we're in this together," I stated firmly, my hands working wiping the soap from his skin. "I'm not leaving you behind, and you're not leaving me behind. We'll find a way out of here together."

“We are by other clans, you could ask them to come and aid us.” He seemed defeated in saying so as if this would be his last lifeline.

“And drag others into our issues?” I scoffed, letting the water wash away the soap on his lower body. “I won’t let another clan die because of me.”

It was strange to know I’d inadvertently caused the death of not only the Katotxampay but a piece of the Tipani. If I just begged my father to stay maybe he would have done so and the Na’vi would have suffered less. Yet with how many RDA ran around this place I wonder if another would have just filled those shoes.

Just as Lawsik finished, the water overhead turned off and we were blasted with what felt like a rush of warm air. Something to quickly dry us off. It was horrible, like being in a gosh darn air fryer. The air was almost too warm for me to handle, so it must have been drying Lawsik out.

The drying process was over in a matter of minutes, leaving our skin slightly itchy but dry. Lawsik seemed to be faring a little better than me, his larger body able to withstand the harsh conditions of the makeshift dryer. Four guards came into the room, one of them being Kai as they offered us both newer clothes. Large shirts and pants meant for an Avatar.

“Nice and clean now, aren’t we Jane and Tarzan?” Kai said with a smirk, handing me a pair of underwear, and dangling them in his hand. “Need help putting them on?”

"I'm more than capable of doing it myself, thank you," I retorted, snatching the clothes from his hand. I quickly dressed, ignoring the crude laughter from the guards. As I finished, I turned to Lawsik and helped him into the awkward clothes, which stood out to him like a sore thumb.

“What’s with the dress up and shower? Are you taking us to the prom?” I asked, following behind the guards uncuffed for once. Lawsik however was still shackled to the nines.

"No," Kai retorted, a malicious grin playing on his lips. "We're just making sure you're presentable for our... guests. After all, we wouldn't want them to think we're not treating you well, would we?"

“Fuck you and your guests,” I mumbled, looking down the doors we passed. It reminded me of the base back near the ocean but I was never allowed to walk around in my Na’vi body there.

“I don’t think you’d want to say that, Georgia.” He said with a chuckle, bringing us to a large hallway of a room. The small space reminded me of the hallway I’d run down as a human, just moments before my death.

Stopping short of the hallway entrance, I freeze up, Lawsik’s large body nearly toppling me as I tripped over myself.

“Try not to die, Georgia,” Kai said before his gaze peeled to the woman from yesterday. Her rich brown skin was free of any dirt or grime unlike when we’d first met her. She’d even worn a clean suit as she looked us both up and down giving the air a sniff.

“You, cleaned them, right? They both smell like a forest,” The woman eyed Lawsik’s shackles and sighed. “And why did you bring, this one?”

"Yes, Dr. Martinez, they're quite clean," Kai replied, smirking at Lawsik and me. "And as for why I brought this one," he gestured at Lawsik with a wave of his hand, "it seems our little Georgia here can't bear to be away from him. It's almost like they're inseparable. How sweet, don't you think?"

Martinez scoffed and rolled her eyes, yanking Kai over toward her, the tip of her heel pressing down onto his boot. “As long as he doesn’t bring us any troubles. We need this funding. I won’t have him ruining it. Take him out if you need to, all we need is the girl. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” Kai said, only to be released from her grasp. Turning to Lawsik he smiles taking out a gun. “Heard that?”

“He will be the first one I get rid of,” Lawsik growled, coming closer to me as I began to walk toward the door at the end of the corridor.

I didn’t know why but every step we took felt like I was going deeper and deeper into hot, stinky mud. Something in my gut stirred uncomfortably as we made it to the large sliding doors. Inside the room, there was a single rectangular table. It was who was at the table that made my heart drop into my stirring stomach. Between two human guards in a large suit sat a familiar-looking Na’vi. His hair was cropped short to his head, the same shade of brown it had been beforehand. His green eyes scaped over Lawsik then flickered to me, roving up my body until they landed on my own eyes. I didn’t know if I was having a stroke or whatever I was feeling but every sound in the room turned into nothing but a piercing ringing. Trying to catch my breath, I cross my arms, praying it stops my hands from trembling as the Na’vi, no, the Avatar approaches us. Could you even call it an Avatar? Avatars needed drivers, real living drivers. Every step he took clouded my senses. The heavy smell of metal and gunpowder, the loud bang of bullets piercing flesh and ripping through the air, the sound of skin-on-skin contact from yet another slap.

Taking a step back into Lawsik I shake my head, my body tense as the person came to a halt just a few feet in front of us. Feeling Lawsik lock his arms around me, he snarls at the man before us, the chains on his arms coming undone as he’d finally wished to do.

“Calm that thing down Georgia, this is exactly why I didn’t let you have pets growing up. Now, come give your daddy a hug, Pumpkin.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 57

I stood there, frozen in place, my constantly warm body turning to ice, the chill running deep through my veins. The man who had taken my life with his own hands, who shot me not once but twice stood in front of me, wearing the body of a Na’vi. He looked younger, more blue, and too happy to see me as he smiled from ear to ear. The room spun around me and my heart pounded in my chest like an unsteady war drum. Every part of me said to run but I couldn’t, my feet were bolted to the ground.

“No,” I whispered, my voice shaking. The word was like a stinging poison on my tongue. The man who had once been my provider was my now darkest nightmare. His presence filled the room, like a suffocating toxin threatening to take me out at any moment.

He was dead, he was fucking dead. How was he here? Ik’tanhì told me he killed him and I’d never seen him sprout this body before.

I wanted to turn around and bury my face into Lawsik’s chest but I feared turning my back on this monster.

“I said, come give your daddy a hug.” His blue lips tightened into a thin line as he spoke, and Kai shoved me forward, close to him but I only fell over onto my hands and knees. Watching Lawsik spin around and backhand Kai into the wall, the other guards beside him grasp him and try to hold him down, as the man, my father, squats in front of me.

“Now Georgia, you went and got yourself a fighter this time. Where is that other boy? Did he get sick of you? I always told you to let me choose who you end up with, Daddy knows best.” He spoke in clear English, his heavy southern accent coating each word as he gave me a few pats on the back.

Each tap sounded like thunder in my ears as he touched me, each one made me want to recoil more as I sat on the ground. Reaching down to my stomach, I grip it tightly and pull away from him before throwing up my breakfast under the meeting room table. I didn’t have time to make it to a damn trash can.

“Oh god, it could carry sickness,” Martinez grumbled, taking a step back to toss me her handkerchief.

The room spun as I wiped my mouth, my stomach churning with a mix of fear and disgust. "Stay the hell away from me," I managed to grit out, pulling away from his outstretched hand. I could hear Lawsik struggling against the guards, his growls filling the room, but my focus remained on the monster in front of me.

“Now-” He raised his hand and I shielded myself, backing away from him only to hear his familiar sigh of annoyance. “You think I wanted to be back to blue? I was just as surprised as you are. Apparently, your old man signed himself up for a little project called the Lazarus Project, my fault for not paying attention to what I put my name on.”

Standing up weakly from the ground, I grasp a stapler off the table and wrench my arm back before throwing it toward him. Watching him catch it with ease he chuckles and shakes his head.

“Man, that sure does feel nice at least. I can get over being blue, hell I’m just younger now. A little less rich because of you but still rich. You should be happy I’m back, Georgia. I forgave you for betraying me, I rescued you from the dirty forest, living like an animal and you want to throw a stapler at me?”

“I want to kill you,” I said plainly, my hands trembling as I spoke. “You should be in hell.”

“Hell wasn’t my thing.” He said with a laugh. “You’re not an animal, Georgia. You’re my daughter. I bought that body, I brought you here, your little life, your little mate, your everything is mine, I own you!” His voice ripped through the room, causing Lawsik to jump forward toward him.

Watching one of the guards drive a syringe into Lawsik’s spine, I go over to hold him up when my father slams his fist on the table, making me halt in place. Forcing myself forward, I go over to Lawsik’s slumped body and hold him up in my arms.

“You don’t own me. The Georgia you owned is dead, you made sure of it. What do you even want from me? What the hell could I possibly give you in this life.” I said, hate dripping from every word.

"I want your cooperation," he spat, his eyes cold and hard. "I want you to understand that this is your reality now, and fighting it is only going to make things harder for you and your 'mate'."

“And what makes you think I’ll help you? You could go to someone else, go to one of your little RDA minions.” I struggled to hold up Lawsik, his large body hanging over my shoulder. “Are you gonna kill us? Because you would have just done so by now. I know you’re trigger-happy.”

"No, I don't want to kill you," he replied, folding his arms across his chest. "I’ve been watching you kid. Watching you since I woke up in this new little body of mine. Who do you think gave your little mate there the incentive to get you in the first place? All it took was a little pushing to the boys in the RDA and things fell into my hands.” He looked at Lawsik with a chuckle, shaking his head. “You know how to pick ‘em, Georgia.”

“You? You’re the one who killed my people?” Lawsik’s body slipped from my hands as I felt my blood begin to boil within me. Grabbing the dart from Lawsik’s neck, I lunged forward driving it into my father’s cheek. Dragging it down once, I watch it slice his face open, only to feel a dart dig into my back. “Die this time!” Screaming, I jam the dart into his neck this time before another dart digs into my back, causing me to slump to the ground.

As my vision blurred and my body collapsed onto the cold floor, the last thing I saw was the surprise on my father's face, his hand reaching up to touch the wound on his face and neck. Then darkness claimed me.

My eyes fluttered open, a harsh bright light glaring down at me from above. I didn’t know what was happening but I knew I was in a medical lab of some sort. That familiar sterile smell of disinfectant was heavy in the air, like a constant reminder that I was not in the fresh air of Pandora. Trying to raise my arms, I look down to see that my arms are strapped down, my movements restricted as I try to move my ankles and fail. Beside me there were various machines, all I was more than familiar with.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” A woman approached me, her hair done in a tight red bun, her green eyes gleaming as she jotted down something on a notepad.

"I was worried you might not wake up," she continued, her gaze flicking up to meet mine. "You gave us quite a scare back there. That was a very foolish thing you did, you know."

“Foolish was not killing my father when I had the chance. Can you turn off the lights a bit, it’s blinding me.” Trying to move my head upward, I look to the side to see Lawsik strapped to a table, his restraints made of metal. “What does he want from us, why won’t he let us go?” I said in Na’vi, knowing the woman wouldn’t understand.

“Speak English, Pumpkin. She can’t understand you.” My father said, his arms crossed as he came into my line of sight. His cheek had a large bandage across it, matching the one on his neck. “I think what she meant to say was thank you for not punishing me again.” He chuckled, rubbing his hands together.

"I'm not thanking you for anything," I retorted, my voice sharp as ever. The mere sight of him made my blood boil, his smug expression only fueling my anger. "You're a monster, and I'll never be grateful to you."

“I let your new little boyfriend live, you should be happy I didn’t slit his throat for going back on his word. Maybe his Blue brain couldn’t quite get things working and he got lost in the woods.” He said so, reaching out to pet my head like some sort of pet.

Where was Ik’tanhì when you needed him? Part of me hoped he’d burst through the doors with Nguyo and come to my rescue but they had no clue where I was, I had no clue where I was.

“Sir, should we begin the tests? There is not much time until-” The doctor went silent the moment my father looked at her, a glare on his face. “I’m sorry sir.”

“Nice to know you’re still a wonder with women, Daddy,” I said, relaxing into the bed. There was nowhere I could go so there was no point in wasting my energy.

"I always had a way with people," he smirked, leaning back. "I guess you didn't inherit that from me. Now, let's get this show on the road. I got money to make.” He snapped his fingers at the doctor and she began to ramble on, taking out various tools as some others came into the room. They dressed to the nines in medical gear as if I carried some sort of disease.

“We are going to be taking a few blood samples, some X-ray scans, just simple things to begin with.” The woman said, grabbing a few items to begin the process of drawing blood. “Can you tell me how you’re here with us, Georgia? How did your friend over there get healed?” The doctor asked, preparing the large needle.

Staying silent, I glimpse over at Lawsik, to see them beginning to draw his blood as well. It made me wonder just how much tranquilizer they’d shot him up with.

“I don’t know. I’m just as surprised as you are.” I lied, gritting my teeth in discomfort when the needle pierced my skin, my blood being drained from my arm at a slow pace. It was uncomfortably cold and I couldn’t help but look away. “Did you sign up to be a monster too, Miss?”

"No, I didn't sign up to be a monster," she replied, her voice steady. "I signed up to be a doctor. To save lives. I don't make the rules, Georgia, I just do my job." She tapped the small baggy filling up with my blood. “Don’t you want to save the human race? If what we think happened is true, you could cure so many things. Your blood could be what the human race needs to survive. Isn’t that what you should want?”

“If you need a savior it surely ain’t me,” I replied, my words said through gritted teeth as the small injury on my arm began to burn. “And I certainly didn’t ask to be your goddamn guinea pig.”

“The moment you allowed yourself to take this body, you become my guinea pig.” My father piped up, sniffing a banana in disgust. "It's a pity you don't see the bigger picture, Georgia," he continued, tossing the banana aside. "This isn't about you anymore; it's about humanity. Your blood could be the key to our survival."

“You’re not a human, not anymore,” I said, looking my father up and down. “I don’t even know what you are.”

“I’m your savior.” He said, coming forward again to yank the tube from my arm. The wound that was there closed moments later. “And you should be damn glad it’s me who’s here with you.”

“Just shut up and tell me your plan. What are you gonna do? Start selling snake oil made from Na’vi blood?” I said so, watching the woman begin to divide the small bag of blood into a few small vials.

“Do I look like some cartoon-level villain who’s gonna spill his plans?” He chuckled, taking one of the vials, and giving it a twirl in front of the light above us.

From where he held it, I could see the small gentle swirls of gold in the liquid, similar to the tulkun amrita he’d killed me over just months ago. I knew I felt the amrita in my spirit but I didn’t think it would be in my literal blood.

Feeling my stomach beginning to churn again, I bite back the feeling of vile rising to my throat. I didn’t want to vomit all over myself, yet I couldn’t fight the feeling of needing to, seeing my own blood like this was strangely cruel, even for him.

“We don’t know how she will respond to X-rays so we will do an ultrasound on her heart instead.” The redhead motioned for two others to come by, one of them holding scissors to begin to cut me from my shirt.

Watching my father turn his back to us, he sighs. “Just, make it quick and then put something new on her. I don’t want her to get sick from the cold.” He said so, keeping his gaze trained on anywhere but myself which made me feel comfortable.

Feeling the woman's cold hands against my skin, I flinched, my mind racing with questions. What were they going to find? What did they hope to achieve with all these tests? I felt a cold dread settle in my stomach as the ultrasound device was brought forward and placed over my heart, the steady thump-thump filling the room.

“Your heart seems to be fine, I know little about Na’vi physiology but I know a healthy heart when I see one. Isn’t that good?” She smiled, gliding the device over my chest.

“The best.’ I said in a monotone voice, as she slid the device over my lungs next.

“Any issues with your body so far, Georgia? Sickness? Injuries?” She asked, applying more of the cold gel on my skin, sliding the ultrasound wand around, the steady sound of my heartbeat filling the room.

“Everything is peachy,” I said bluntly, uncomfortably shivering when she began to run the device over my stomach. “Are you searching for my breakfast?” I asked with an annoyed chuckle.

“No, I’m searching for any abnormalities. Have you been feeling sick lately? Nauseous, perhaps?” The doctor asked, her tone professional, but her eyes were alight with curiosity. “Any fatigue?”

“Well, sleeping on the cold ground and eating human food is making me feel terrible,” I admitted, hoping to make my father feel worse but he continued to mind his business. “Why?”

"Because your symptoms might indicate something else, something we didn't expect," she replied, her gaze focused on the screen. "It's too early to say anything for sure, but just answer honestly. Have you experienced any changes in your body? Anything that could be out of the ordinary?"

“Nope, just feeling shitty while being here. If I’m kept here I want to walk out in the open air, just once a day.” I whispered to the woman, forcing a smile. “Please, I won’t hurt anyone.”

“Your request is noted," she replied, her face softening briefly. "But it's not within my power to grant. You'll have to discuss it with... him." Her gaze flicked towards my father, her expression turning sour.

Funny to think even the people my father ordered here hated him. He was a universal dickhead.

“Can I see my heart?” I asked out of curiosity, raising my head slightly as she slid my cut shirt over my chest. “I never actually got to see an ultrasound of my heart where it wasn’t so shriveled up.”

"Of course," she responded with a small nod, adjusting the ultrasound machine to project the image onto a nearby screen. The rhythmic pulsations of my heart filled the room, a stark contrast to the tension hanging in the air. It was a strange sight, seeing my own heart beating in my chest, so alive and vibrant compared to my last one.

“I used to be so sick, I was tired of hospital rooms. Sometimes they didn’t even let me take walks around the building because they thought I would die.” I said so, as the woman undid one of the bindings on my arm, letting me reach up to touch the area where my heart was.

“I am happy you feel comfortable now. I just need to do one more scan, would you like to try?” She said she, was trying to hand me the ultrasound wand but I pushed it away.

“No thank you, I just want to finish.” Closing my eyes, I hear the woman sigh and feel her begin to scan over my body again.

The gel was warm by now as the uncomfortable metal wand drifted over my skin, checking each of my internal organs out. I felt her pause, the wand being left on my body as she seemed to have turned the screen, the bright light from it no longer shining through my eyelids.

Opening my eyes, I could see her taking a few of the images down and I sighed as she hastily covered me with a blanket, not before wiping away the remaining gel from my skin.

“Excuse me, sir,” she said, her voice wound tight. “Could I… could I have a word with you? It’s urgent and I’m unsure if you’d want me to proceed with these tests.”

My father raised an eyebrow, his forehead wrinkling together as he came forward to look at the screen. I could see the woman faintly pointing out something, her hand making two circles on the screen. The other doctors in the room who’d been working on Lawsik looked over toward us but continued to work.

“Well, ain’t that just lovely.” He said, his constant smirk fading as she examined the screen. His face, in its blue state, turned pale for a moment before he regained his composure.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest. But neither of them answered me, their attention focused on the screen.

“Would you like to terminate?” The woman whispered, my ears twitching as I tried my best to listen in on what she’d been saying.

My father looked down at me as I half sat up, the fear in my stomach getting worse and worse by the second.

“Terminate? Am I sick?” I asked. I’d asked doctors this numerous times before but knowing I fucked up this body and the last one, made me feel horrible.

"No, Georgia," my father said finally, his eyes meeting mine. His expression was bathed in anger. "You're not sick, it’s worse. You're pregnant."

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 58

Sitting up on the medical bed, the woman gingerly handed me a gown this time instead of the shirt I’d been wearing. My father who was just gloating now paced one side of the room as Lawsik slowly began to awaken.

Pregnant, I didn’t even consider It when I was with Nguyo and Ik’tanhì and now I was pregnant. I didn’t know what was more surprising. The pregnancy or the fact that my father didn’t have the woman terminate it.

Brushing my fingers across my lower abdomen, I notice my fingers are trembling and I try to calm myself. I was fucking pregnant and here I was, in the middle of a lab where they gave my father the option to terminate the child.

“Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” My father said, running his hand down the front of his face.

It was terrifying to see him like this. Usually, he cloaked his anger behind a smile and a shitty joke but now his face just looked set in stone.

“I think it would be best actually if-”

”Leave now!” He screamed at the red-haired doctor and the staff standing around me. “Take the fucking big one with you and just leave!” He pointed at Lawsik who’d been staring at me the whole time as he regained his consciousness.

As the staff hurried out of the room, dragging an unconscious Lawsik along with them, I was left alone with the man I despised the most. He didn't say anything for a while, just kept pacing, his expression unreadable. I wrapped my arms around myself, a chill running down my spine as I waited for him to speak.

“Did you know, Georgia?” He asked, coming over to take a stand in front of me, his blue arms crossed.

"No," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. "I didn’t know. How could I? Pandora doesn’t exactly have pregnancy tests." His eyes bore into me, a storm of emotions swirling within them, none of which I could decipher.

“It’s a little hard to get what we need from you if you are…pregnant and I don’t think anyone will smile at the man pumping blood from his pregnant teenage daughter.”

“I’m 23,” I said, crossing my arms and he chuckled shaking his head.

“You act like a teen still, so I see you as one,” He adjusted his suit and sighed.

“You never saw me be a teenager, you weren’t there.” I scoffed and kicked my leg out, kicking him square in the leg.

He grunted, taking a step back. "Enough, Georgia," he growled, rubbing his shin. "Whether I was there or not, doesn't change the fact that you're pregnant. And that changes everything." Walking over to the table with Lawsik’s blood samples, he gives them the same swirl in the air before placing the vial. “He ain’t like you. The blood ain’t the same.”

“I get it, I’m a damn unicorn and Lawsik is a regular horse.” I snapped, frustration boiling within me. “Are you going to let me decide what I do with my kid or not?” I asked, my fist balled up in my lap.

"I don't know, Georgia," he replied, his voice cold and emotionless. "I don't know if I can afford to let you make that decision." His gaze met mine, the coldness in his eyes chilling me to the core.

“It’s always about money with you. You want me to call you father and be the daughter you need to make your important comeback, then treat me like it. This is your grandchild, they’re your grandchild.” I tried my best to spin the situation, praying this would work. “I didn’t even get to see them and you saw them, you did.”

He paused, his expression faltering slightly. "I... I'll think about it," he finally said, turning away from me. His silence was more telling than any words he could have spoken.

“I want better accommodations, for my mate and me,” I said, standing up from the medical bed, my free hand over my stomach. “I won’t fight with you, I am outgunned and outnumbered I know my battles. I want better accommodations though. I want to walk in the sunlight, I want out of our cell and I want better clothes and food. Lawsik and I can not eat human food. We need real food from Pandora. I want medical care. Regular check-ups, prenatal assistance, everything a pregnant woman needs. And I want the collar off my mate, he’s been through enough because of you.”

He stared at me for a moment, clearly taken aback by my demands. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded. "Alright, Georgia. I'll make it happen. But in return, you have to cooperate with us. No more throwing staplers or attacking personnel. Deal?"

I ran my hand over my stomach, as I nodded. “Deal.” It was horrible to have made a deal with the devil. Part of me felt disgusting in doing so but I needed to do this for myself and for my unborn child.

“I will get those ready, just. Sit.” He spoke to me like I was some sort of dog as he left me alone in the room.

“I’m sorry, you’re not even aware and you’re being used,” I said to my lower stomach, gently rubbing above my womb. I was surprised I was even with a child or how it had been surviving.

Assuming it was Nguyo or Ik’tanhì’s child they went through hell and back with me. Stressful nights, kidnappings out the ass, and terrible treatment. I don’t know how Na’vi’s pregnancy worked. I only saw Yula’vo give birth and that looked horrible and now I was going to have to do the same. I was just scared I’d give birth in a goddamn cell.

“And my mates don’t even know.” Saying it out loud made me feel horrible. If they some how found me the children could not only be my shield but used as leverage. “I’m sorry, your mama already sucks,” I whispered to myself, probably to the lump with no ears or brain development.

Soon, the room's door opened, and in walked a group of medical professionals, their expressions kind and their demeanor gentle. They were equipped with all the necessary tools and equipment for prenatal care. They approached me with caution, understanding in their eyes. "We're here to ensure you and your baby get the care you need, Georgia," one of them said softly. "We promise to make you as comfortable as possible."

Their words fell on deaf ears as I reclined into the medical bed, letting them look over my body. It was odd to see so many of them but my guess was that they never got to see a pregnant Na’vi up close. Out came the ultrasound machine and the cool gel again. As they spoke to me I did nothing but stare up at the ceiling, vaguely agreeing to let them look around more and examine further.

As the hours passed, the room filled with the low hum of various machines and the occasional murmur of the doctors discussing my condition. I was too exhausted to pay much attention, my mind wandering back to Nguyo and Ik’tanhì. The thought of them not knowing about our child weighed heavily on me. What if something happened, what would they think?

I wanted my mother, I wanted Ema’ti here but I didn’t even know if she was alive right now.

“Miss Stringer?” One of the doctors asked, pointing to the screen. “Would you like to see them?”

I nodded, turning my gaze to the screen. There, nestled in my womb, was the tiny form of my baby. I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes. "Fuck," I whispered, a bittersweet smile on my face. “What is that?” I asked, pointing a blue finger toward something else on the screen.

The doctor seemed to perk up as another one entered the shared space. They exchanged a few whispers, glancing at the screen and then back at me. The first doctor then turned to me, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Well, it seems we have a surprise," she announced, her eyes shining with excitement. "That, Georgia, is another baby. You're having twins."

“Twins?” I said, sitting up a little to look at the screen. “Like, two kids?”

"Yes," she confirmed, pointing to the two tiny forms on the screen. "Two separate beings, growing inside you. You're going to be a mother to two little ones."

“What if I just want one?” I asked, gripping the medical bed.

"I'm afraid that's not how it works, Georgia," the doctor responded gently. "Both of them are already growing and developing. You're going to have twins, whether you're ready for it or not."

“Can’t one like eat the other one?” I asked, trying to sit up quickly only to watch everyone back up. “Gimme the damn wand.”

The doctor hesitated for a moment before handing me the ultrasound wand. I clumsily maneuvered it over my stomach, squinting at the screen. "See? Two of them. Two of your children," she said, her voice soft.

Feeling my breathing becomes unsteady, I nervously slip around my stomach again. She was right, there were two little blobs inside of me. I didn’t know much about children but I knew enough to see that there were two of them. They weren’t that big it seemed, I couldn’t really make out anything aside from the little heartbeats they had.

“Mother Eywa, preserve me.” I said in Na’vi, handing the wand back to the doctor. “Can I dress now? I want to leave.”

"Of course," the doctor said, her voice tight. She turned to fetch my clothes, giving me a moment of privacy. I quickly dressed and left the room, the reality of my situation sinking in. I was going to be a mother of twins, not one child but two.

“If it isn’t Jane. Let’s go.” Kai said as I peeled into the hallway. I wanted to vomit and now that the feeling was back I didn’t know if it was fear or morning sickness.

Following him, I walk with one hand over my mouth, the other holding my stomach. Don’t fucking puke Neyswa, don’t.

“I thought my father said we would have better accommodations?” I said as he walked me down the hallway full of cells.

"He did," Kai responded, leading me to a new section of the facility that looked less like a prison and more like a hospital. "You'll be staying here from now on. It's safer and better equipped for your... condition." His voice held a hint of discomfort, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

“Where is Lawsik?” I asked, coming into the hospital-like room. “I want him here.”

Just as I finished speaking, the door opened and in walked Lawsik. He looked clean, and his eyes were clear and alert. Upon seeing me, he raced over, his arms wrapping around me in a tight hug.

“I think I’m going to be sick. You both stay here, we will allow you time to walk out when we choose. Do not annoy me.” Kai said, quickly leaving the room behind.

“Neyswa, are you okay? I heard they were looking you over.”

"Yeah, I'm okay Lawsik. Just... a lot to take in." I replied, breaking away from the hug to look at him. His eyes were filled with concern, his hand instinctively moving to rest on my stomach. "I'll explain everything, just... give me a moment."

Walking over to one of the med bay beds, I lay down on my side and curled up into a ball. I wanted my mates.

Lawsik, seeing my discomfort, came over to sit next to me on the bed, his hand gently rubbing my back. “This will be our last day here, Neyswa. I promise."

“You can’t promise me that,” I said, staring at the wall ahead. “You don’t know.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 59

“And the twins both seem to be doing well. It’s just fascinating to see Na’vi fetuses inside the body like this.” The red-haired doctor and her posse of enthusiasts were gone now. All I had was myself and the woman who stood in front of me.

She looked like she’d been pushing into her later years, with tangles of gray in her long black hair. It didn’t match her glowing rich brown skin though, her skin looked free of any aging. Priti Sachdeva, one of Pandora’s lead xenobotanists and xenoanthropologists. It was odd to think she was looking into my body, like some sort of prized cow.

“Well Priti, I’m not going anywhere so feel free to take a peek whenever you want.” Grabbing the top of the shirt I’d been given I slip it over my stomach and sigh.

“It’s Dr. Sachdeva, Georgia… Neyswa.” She corrected herself taking her stethoscope from around her neck. “May I?” She asked, bringing the end of the stethoscope toward my stomach.

I nodded in response, bracing myself as the cool metal disc made contact with my skin. "Sure, Dr. Sachdeva," I replied, trying to keep the discomfort out of my voice.

She was a pleasant change from the usual assholes that walked around here. She was just a woman doing her job and I’d become the willing participant. She was quick to check the sound of the babies’ hearts which pleased me because the cold of the metal made me uncomfortable.

“How does it feel to be pregnant?” She asked, jotting down something on the clipboard she held before taking a small measuring tape from her pocket. Wrapping it around my torso, she notes how big my stomach is before going back to writing down her notes. “Expected, no growth.”

“It feels normal I guess. I didn’t even consider it happening. I thought I wanted to puke because the human food smelled and tasted pretty shi- pretty disgusting.” I corrected myself. “Do you know how far along I am?” I asked, curious to see how long it had been since my life went to ruin.

“You’re about 6 weeks pregnant, Neyswa.” She said with a smile. “If you are worried about showing you have plenty of time for that.”

“Not worried, more like a countdown until my father starts using me as a pawn.” I chuckled and squirmed uncomfortably, I pissed like fifty times within the past week and here I needed to go again.

Seemingly noticing my discomfort, Dr. Sachdeva pointed towards a door at the corner of the room. "The bathroom is over there, again," she said with a knowing smile.

“I know, thank you.” Sliding off the examination table, I walk across the cold ground uncomfortably barefoot.

Reaching the door, I glanced back at Dr. Sachdeva, who had already begun cleaning up her tools. Quickly using the restroom, I stopped in front of the small mirror that was placed on the wall. It had been so long since I’d seen my face and I looked like shit. My eyes were a bit baggy and I looked unhealthy. It was almost like finding out I’d be a mother drained the life from me. Not only did I look like shit I kinda felt shitty. If I wasn’t tired, I was getting pissed off at small things. The main one is Lawsik touching me. He always wanted to touch me since I’d told him I was pregnant. He told me sweet nothings about how he would help me escape and we could raise our children far away in the mountains. I didn’t bring up the fact that Ik’tanhì was looking for me at all, it was none of his business. It was his fault I was in this mess in the first place. Something in me ticked though, I didn’t want to kill him, I couldn’t bring myself to even hit him anymore. I was left feeling pity for him because he didn’t ruin him, my father did. He ruined everything.

“Fucker!” Swiping the mirror off the wall, I watch it slam into the wall and shatter into a million little pieces.

I stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, staring at the broken shards of glass scattered on the floor. Washing my hands clean, I leave the bathroom to see Dr. Sachdeva cleaning some of the tools she’d used on me. She had a small sad smile on her face as she did so.

“I’m ready,” I said, coming back over to the table. “Any more Na’vi prenatal tests I need to worry about?”

"Not for today," Dr. Sachdeva replied, her eyes meeting mine. "We'll keep monitoring your progress, your father wants you under a watchful eye.” She looked through her clipboard before knocking her pen against the surface. “Wait, there is one more thing. We need to put a tracker in your arm.”

I was taken aback. "A tracker? Are you serious?" I asked, the disbelief clear in my voice. "Seems like he’s really not taking any chances, is he?" I added, the bitterness seeping into my words.

“He wants to ensure your safety, Neyswa.” She said the cruel words lovingly, picking up a small device that looked like a gun. “It won’t hurt much, it’s a small insertion into your upper arm. Your mate, Lawsik has one in his arm too.”

“He let you put a tracker in his arm?” I asked, nervously wringing my hands together. The thought of Lawsik just rolling over didn’t seem right.

“He agreed for you. Not because he wanted to.” She said so, her gaze falling on my stomach. “His family is important to him, something we all value.”

Nodding, I roll up my sleeve and present my arm to her. Feeling the prongs of the device dig into my skin, I flinch and hiss when I feel something push into my arm.

“There, it was fast, see?” The Dr. Sachdeva said, as I placed my hand over the wound. Turning around, she begins to clean the device as I feel the searing pain I was so used to in my arm.

Wincing silently, I look at my arm and watch as the small pill-like chip begins to push out of my body, something within me rejecting the artificial injection. Gritting my teeth in pain, I look down at my lap and pray the woman doesn’t turn around. Gripping the chip, I yank it out and clutch it in my fisted hand, as the wound begins to close up, small droplets of blood dripping down my arm.

Slipping the chip into my pocket, I stop fidgeting when she turns around, giving me a happy smile. “Oh, just a little blood.” She said, grabbing an alcohol wipe to clean where the wound was.

"Thank you, Dr. Sachdeva," I managed to say, offering her a small smile as she cleaned the area. I kept my hand firmly in my pocket, praying I didn’t break it from how hard I’d been holding it. “Am I allowed outside now? I would like to be with my mate, in the open air.” I said with a smile, praying Southern Shine worked in this body.

"Absolutely, fresh air will do you good. Just remember, moderation in everything," Dr. Sachdeva replied, giving me a benign smile. "We'll schedule the next checkup soon. Take care, Neyswa."

Releasing the tracker in my pocket, I adjust the uncomfortable overalls I’d been in. Wearing human clothes now was just uncomfortable. Heading toward the exit doors, I give the door a firm knock when it slides open, revealing Kai standing there in his Avatar, a new Avatar beside him. I didn’t know what it was about this one but she looked terrifying. If Kai was a minnow, she was a big fish in the pond. It was something you could pick out when you were around someone dangerous, it’s like they had no light in their eyes. Looking down at her nametag, Harris, I narrow my eyes and move beside Kai. I would rather be near the idiot than the silent one.

“No Tarzan with you?” He asked, pointing for me to walk down the hallway.

“Can they muzzle you?” I asked, placing my hand over my lower stomach as we walked. I don’t know why I held myself, there was no bump, no kicks. All I knew was that this idiot could bump me and probably make me lose the two things keeping me from giving up.

“Where is Lawsik?” I asked as we walked past corridor after corridor, some of them filled with strange computers with layouts of the area we were in.

Kai gave me a mocking smile. "Why, are you missing him already?" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Before I could retort, Harris cleared her throat, and Kai straightened up. “He is already outside, he’s refusing to speak English though.”

“I wouldn’t talk to a cunt either,” I said, turning to the large doors at the back of the facility. Watching Harris begin to punch in a few numbers, she pulls a thick red lever, and the door before us hisses before opening to the world outside.

“You have an hour outside if you try anything unsavory, we will lower it by ten minutes every day. Don’t hurt your chances.” Harris spoke calmly, nodding toward the outside world.

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, stepping out onto the soft soil of Pandora for the first time in a hot minute.

Inhaling deeply, I take a few steps forward to where Lawsik is, his body crouched over a small basket he was trying to make. It wasn’t the best looking but it looked like something. In the basket, I could see a bundle of teal rawp leaves, the thick juicy leaves covered in light dew from the early morning rain. It seemed as if the small area section off for the both of us was just enough to walk around and not get tired. Yet prison was still a prison.

“Are you hungry?” I asked Lawsik, kneeling beside him. “Because you’re making me hungry.”

Lawsik held the succulent leaves up, passing one over to me with a smile. The plant didn’t smell much but the moment I sank my teeth into the fleshy leaf, I was in heaven. It wasn’t as good as a pickle but it was damn there close enough. It was juicy and salty like a fat pickle brined to perfection. It must have sucked for humans to not eat like this.

“Gosh, I could just kiss you Lawsik,” I said, licking my fingers clean before he handed me another rawp.

“Well, I need my mate and child to be strong enough to leave this place. The humans are strange, trying to speak to me or get me to understand them. I never will.” He said so while taking his own rawp up, chewing on it happily. It was obvious that he also missed Pandoran cuisine. If only the dumbass didn’t get us both here now. “May I have that kiss?” He asked, as I bit another chunk of rawp.”

“Sure,” I said, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek. It was quick and cold compared to the kisses I’d given him days ago when I thought it was my only key to salvation.

“And let me kiss my child’s forehead.” He said, reaching down for my stomach when I gently pushed his hand away, Harris only a few feet behind us.

“They’re barely grown in there. Let them get bigger and you can kiss both their foreheads.” I said so, tearing into the rawp.

“Both?” Lawsik said, his usual angry face melting into one of softness. “Eywa has blessed me with two children?”

Was it too late to put my foot up his ass? Eywa blessed me with two children, he stole them and then their grandfather stole me. What kind of fucked up family would that be.

Standing up anyway, Lawsik pulls me into the air, pressing two kisses to where my stomach is. “Ma Neyswa, I can not wait to have more.” He also sang as he walked around, holding me in the air.

“Lawsik, put me down!” I said, my stomach churning from the sudden change in altitude. “I mean it, put me down, I might vomit.”

“If I place you down, you may be tempted to run away.” He chuckled, pressing another kiss to my stomach. “I have always wanted children.”

"But Lawsik, the thought of running away hasn't even crossed my mind," I lied, trying to keep my voice steady. "Now, put me down before I really do vomit on you." I felt the churning crawl up my throat as he set me down and I gagged, moving away from him and Harris. “I need to-” Bending over in the nearest bush, I let up everything I’d just eaten, which only made it worse.

Coming over to me, Harris looks to Lawsik before gingerly moving my hair away from my face. Her hands smelled of some lotion the RDA had been using it made me dry heave before letting up my breakfast from this morning.

"Take deep breaths, Neyswa," she calmly advised, her voice devoid of the usual disdain I'd come to associate with the RDA. "You're okay," she added, offering me a hand to help me stand.

“You didn’t call me Georgia?” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

Harris tensed up before looking down to my stomach. “Well, is that not your name?” She asked, helping me to my feet.

“Yeah, it is.” I smiled, wiping my hand on the overalls they’d given to me. “I need to piss now, can I get a little privacy for a moment?”

I said so, jutting a finger to where the fence was and Harris glanced around before nodding. “Go over here though.” She said so, pivoting my body to a bunch of bushes.

It felt weird for her to tell me to hide in the bush, part of me hoped she wasn’t going to sound some alarm just to get me in trouble. Who knows, maybe I was just overthinking and she just wanted to help me to some privacy.

Heading over to the bush, I squat down and begin to relieve myself, something I was beginning to tire of. Just as I began to relax though, something stuck itself through the dirt behind me, close enough to the gate to make me flinch and cower away.

“What the fuck was that,” I said, turning around to an arrow buried deep in the dirt. On the end were a set of familiar colors, hell even the air looked the same as it did in the past.

Reaching a hand through the gate, I strain but lock my hand around the arrow, pulling the beaded songchord off the end.

“Neyswa, do you need help?” Lawsik said, and I quickly scrambled to put the songchord in my pocket along with the tracker. I could feel my eyes beginning to sting as I called out. “No! I am fine, I will be there soon.”

Taking the arrow, I brushed my fingers over it before laying it down in the dirt so it did not stick out.

He was here, Ik’tanhì was finally here.

Thumbing over his songchord in my pocket, I walk over to Lawsik with a bright grin. “I’m ready to go now.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 60

I gripped the cold sides of the toilet, letting up the dinner I’d just crammed down my throat. I’d tried to eat everything they’d offered but I still wasn’t used to the human chef trying to make Na’vi food. The awkward soup they made now swam around in the bowl, my stomach empty as I nearly puked again.

“I used to puke at the smell of onions,” Harris said from behind me, her hands holding my hair in the air. “That’s what my kid did to me at least.”

“You’re a mo-” I lurched forward, holding my stomach practically dry heaving into the toilet.

“Yes, I am. Do I not look the type?” Harris said, handing me a small moist towel.

Wiping my mouth clean, I slowly stand up, my body towering over Harris in her human form. She was not what I’d been expecting. It was so strange seeing her small amber eyes framed by a full head of curly brown hair. She looked slightly older than Rina, the only thing that stood out really was the large scar dragging down the right side of her face. I wondered if it had been inflicted by a Na’vi.

“I never said that, I just didn’t expect it,” Standing up slowly, I go over to the sink washing the cloth clean. “How old is your kid?”

“She’s probably about your age. What are you? 28?” She asked, looking at my face.

“Well, I don’t know the month really but I’m 23. Turning 24 soon, unless I missed my birthday I don’t know.” I said with a shrug.

Harris gives a nod, "Well, in that case, happy belated birthday... or maybe it's in advance. Who knows?" She says, her small smile not quite reaching her eyes.

We both stood in silence as I looked around the small bathroom space. Turning around to her, I look up to where the camera is in the corner. There was no peace in the RDA, I couldn’t even shit or wash my crack without wondering if someone was going to be watching.

“Can we go outside? I know it’s dark but I want to take a walk, please.” I asked, reaching down to thumb over the songchord in my pocket.

“Sure, let’s go. A bit of fresh air might do you some good,” Harris agrees, walking me out of the room with haste.

We were quick to come to the outside world, yet Harris carried no gun in her arms this time. On her hip, all she had was a large dagger.

“Can you help me get some of this plant?” I said, pointing to the rawp clusters near the west side of the outer gate. Above our heads, I could hear a few patrolling guards. “Please, I’m really craving it.”

Harris nodded and unsheathed her blade, following me to the cluster of leaves.

“You don’t cut them. You can harvest without cutting.” I said, squatting down in front of the cluster, my back to her as I gently wiggled free one of the leaves. “Thank you Mother Eywa,” I whispered the prayer before wiggling the juicy leaf at Harris. “It tastes like a pickle.”

Sinking my teeth into the juicy morsel, I sigh and look out into the jungle, praying Ik’tanhì or Nguyo were looking back.

“What are you up to, Harris?” I asked, plucking up a smaller leaf.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand you. The mask makes things a little hard.” She said, coming beside me, leaning closer.

“I think you understand me just fine,” I said, smiling as I sucked the salty flesh. “You’re not like the others. I’ve been around people like my father my whole life. You’re not like him, like them.”

She said nothing, her hand brushing over the knife at her side.

“You aren’t going to do anything. If you really wanted to kill me you could have made an excuse to and if you wanted to hurt me, you would have brought a gun. So tell me and be honest, what are you up to?”

Harris paused for a moment, her gaze fixed on me, then she sighed, "I'm doing what I think is right, that's all. I'm not your enemy." She said, her voice softer than before.

“I had a feeling you weren’t my enemy. When I first saw you, you kinda scared me. Everyone else has this look in their eyes like they can lose everything and be fine, you have that look like you wouldn’t want to lose anything.” Instinctively holding out a piece of rawp to her, I halt and place it back down. “Why are you working for the RDA?”

Harris didn't respond immediately, her gaze shifting towards the jungle beyond before meeting mine again. "I have my reasons; personal ones," she finally said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Did you know he would be here? Is that why you turned me yesterday when I needed to pee?” I asked, looking at the bush I was crouched in yesterday.

"Perhaps," she finally admitted, her gaze fixed on the distance. "I can't confirm or deny it. But you're smart, Georgia. You know more than you think you do." She looked at me with a knowing look, the corners of her mouth pulling into a small smile.

“I don’t know much. I just pretend I do.” I said, slipping my hand over my lower stomach. “I just want to go home.”

“How far along is she?” My father asked his blue skin still something that shocked me as he looked through his notepad. He’d had it given to him by someone I didn’t really care about, all I really cared for at this moment was just being on my own.

“We believe she is 8 weeks now. You can see pictures here if you like.” The man said, with a bright smile on his face.

“I don’t need to see any babies.” He said, looking at the pictures and then at my stomach. There was now the smallest bump. Not enough to notice if you stared at me from the front but if I turned to the side and was topless, it was noticeable.

“Can I see?” I asked the doctor and he nodded, sliding me a few of the newer ultrasound pictures.

Looking at the images, I could see two small blobs. It was hard to believe that these were my babies. I traced my finger over the images, tears welling up in my eyes at the sight of them. They were blobs, they were nothing but little blobs but I’d felt myself growing more and more attached to them.

Seeing them this large made me worry. Where the hell did Ik’tanhì go? Over a week had passed since he’d given any sign of him coming and now there was dead silence. Part of me worried he’d seen me outside with Lawsik and had resorted to leaving me on my own.

“Is she far enough in her pregnancy to give us more blood samples?” He asked, scratching the scar I left on his face. “I need two pints.” He said so, giving the doctor a death glare.

The doctor hesitated, glancing at me before replying, "She's far enough along, but I'd advise against taking that much at once. It could put both her and the babies at risk."

“But she would survive it, yes?” He asked, sitting up with his hand balled into a fist.

"She may survive, but it would be a significant strain on her body," the doctor said cautiously. "I cannot guarantee it wouldn't have long-term effects on her health or the health of the babies."

“I don’t want to give anything if it might hurt my kids,” I said so, backing up in my seat, the guards behind me taking a step forward. “Please, they’re small I don’t want to lose them.”

“You won't lose them,” my father interjected, his icy gaze meeting mine. “You'll do as you're told. The doctor will take the necessary precautions."

“And what if I do lose them? I know you’re used to losing children because you choose to kill yours but I’m not taking the risk.” I said so, slamming my fist into his human-sized desk. Watching the wood crack under my fist, as it slams onto the ground.

“Georgia!” He screams, standing up and slamming the tablet onto his desk.

“Charles!” I warmed, standing up with my fists still balled up. “I agreed to work with you, don’t test my kindness!”

His face hardened at my words, staring me down with a cold, calculating look. "Very well," he conceded, his tone icy. "We'll proceed with caution."

“You’ll do good to remember that,” I said, calming down some. “Why do you need my blood, what’s so great about my blood?” I asked, taking a seat once more.

“You went and sucked up all that amrita, Georgia. You’re not just billions of dollars anymore. You’re the most expensive thing the RDA has. Why do you think you’re chipped? Why do you think I’m dwindling down my patience? It’s not your goddamn sunny disposition.” He said so, pointing toward my stomach. “You’re lucky you’re pregnant. If you weren’t you’d be strapped to a chair with a tube in one hole and out the other.”

“So I couldn’t be your golden goose with marriage so I’m your golden goose with blood? You’re sick.” I said, taking a step away from him.

“And when you have those children, if they have your properties, they’ll be grandpa’s golden eggs. Fresh for shaping into what I wanted my child to be.” He said so, adjusting his suit.

“I’ll kill you before you get that far.” Turning to the guards, I shove them out of the way and slam my fist into the wall panel, watching the door slide open.

Storming out of the room, I bump into Avatar’d Harris who grips my wrist.

“Georgia.” She said, trying to stop me as I stomped down the hall.

“Oh, so you’re calling me Georgia now?” I said with a growl, yanking my wrist away. “What do you want.”

She nervously glanced toward the side, her eyes flickering down to my stomach. “I need you to come with me.” She said, giving me a stronger pull. “And you need to calm down.” She said so with a whisper.

Reaching down into my pocket, I grip Ik’tanhì’s songchord and nod, hoping I wouldn’t squeeze it until the beads cracked. Every night I went to sleep with it in my pocket, just out of reach of Lawsik who kept kissing my stomach. It made me nervous to know the first voice my children might hear would be the man who took them from their father.

“I am calm,” I said, following behind her. The halls were oddly empty too, something that made an uncomfortable chill race down my spine.

“Where are the other guards?” I asked.

"They're occupied," Harris replied cryptically, not offering any more information.

“Where is Lawsik?” I asked, tugging back against her as she walked faster down the halls. “Why are you walking so quickly, where are you taking me?”

Without responding, Harris quickens her pace, leading me down a series of twisting and turning corridors. The sense of urgency in her steps fills me with a growing sense of dread, yet, I follow her, clutching Ik’tanhì’s songchord tighter in my pocket.

“We don’t have enough time to get Lawsik,” She said so, pulling me into a large corridor.

Suddenly we were within the bowels of the building again, Harris now in a jog as we moved. “Why are we at the cells? I don’t want to be locked up.” I said, looking up to the cameras we ran past.

"No, we're not going to the cells," Harris reassured, her voice tense. "Just trust me, we need to move quickly." Without any further explanation, she continued to lead me down the shadowy corridor, the echo of our hurried footsteps the only sound in the eerie silence.

Suddenly, we came to a halt in front of a large, unmarked door. Harris quickly punched in a code, and the door slid open to reveal a hidden passage. "Inside, quickly," she urged, pushing me through the doorway before following me in and slamming the door shut behind us.

Watching her brandish her knife, she grabs my arm and begins to feel along my skin. “Where did they put the tracker, we need to cut it out. We don’t have much time.”

“Already two steps ahead of you.” I said, pulling the tracker from where it had been nestled in my pocket.

“How?” She asked, giving both my arms a look over. “Did you cut it out?”

"No, my body rejected it," I answered, handing the small device to her. "It pushed it out on its own." Harris took the tracker from me, her eyes widening in surprise. " We can talk on this later, we need to move. Now.”

“And what? Just leave the tracker here so they know where we went?” I asked, placing the tracker into her hand.

“No, I said we need to move. You’re going to go through this vent, it leads to the other side of the base, I will meet you there. I just need you to get their quickly or your mate, your real mate will kill me.”

My heart pounded in my chest at her words. "Wait, Ik'tanhì is here?" I stammered out, my mind racing. Turning to the vent, I slam my foot into it twice, watching the metal blades shatter under my foot.

“Lawsik will come looking for me,” I said, dropping down to crawl through the vent. Reaching up to my shirt, I tear a shred of it off and hand it over. “Here, take this. Rub it on everything.”

“Be safe, Neyswa.” She said, wrapping the tracker into the little piece of cloth.

Slipping into the dark vent, I blink and my eyes adjust quickly to the small space. Thank goodness they didn’t plan this any later or I’d be too big.

“How did Yula’vo do this.” I said, gagging from the strong smell of dust and whatever smell was coming from the rooms I passed over.

Moving deeper into the darkness, I tried to stay calm, the sound of my own heartbeat echoing in my ears. The knowledge that Ik'tanhì was here somewhere, waiting for me, was the only thing driving me forward. I would have my mates back, I would be able to finally go home and relax in the comfort of their arms.

Hearing the vent creak under me, I stop moving just as the alarms begin to glare. I didn’t know if I was close to where the noise was coming from but it was strong enough to make me feel dizzy and irritated.

I expected the vent to be cool but instead it was actually warming the closer I got to wherever I was headed. From below me, I could hear the armed soldiers cheering, some of them happy to kill just because they could.

“Faster, Neyswa. Please.” I said, turning the corner in the vents.

“Where is Golden Goose?” One of the men asked, from the room beneath me as I passed over.

“I don’t know you fucking idiot, why do you think the alarms are blaring! Find her. I’m sure some pregnant chick couldn’t have gotten very far.” The other guard said as the sound of gunfire began to fill the air.

I quickened my pace, the sound of gunfire echoing in my ears as I pushed through the narrow vent. The smell of blood filled the air as I continued my crawl, the air getting cooler as I got closer to my destination.

“Neyswa!” I heard Lawsik scream, his voice ripping across the floor I was above. Slowly crawling to the next vent opening, I look down to see Lawsik standing there, his hands covered in blood to match his stained clothes.

In the corner of the room stood Kai who held up a blade, his gun smashed to pieces on the ground.

“Where is she!” He said in English, his anger warping his accent. “Where is my mate, dreamwalker?” He said so, launching himself at Kai, knocking the blade from his hand.

“I hope that bitch is dead,” Kai said with a chuckle, spitting on Lawsik’s arm.

Watching Lawsik bring Kai’s shoulders upwards he slams him back against the ground, his head letting out a sickening cracking sound.

“You will never speak again,” He said, smashing his head against the ground again.

Watching the light drain from Kai’s eyes, Lawsik stands and wipes his hands clean of blood. Watching him sniff the air, he walks under the vent and growls. Looking at myself, I wipe the cold sweat from my face and skin, praying he doesn’t smell me.

Lawsik's eyes roamed around the room, landing on the vent directly above him. I held my breath, praying he wouldn't discover my hiding spot. But I couldn't help the pang of guilt that washed over me as I saw the look of desperation in his eyes. He was searching for me, and I was hiding.

Continuing on through the vent, I hear more guards come into the room and the same gruesome sounds follow as I slip past the residential area.

“All units needed outdoors, there is an attack by the Na’vi. I repeat, all units needed outdoors.” A voice blared over the radio, followed by the sound of broken glass over the intercom.

Making it to the other side of the vent, I carefully get onto my back, kicking the vent out above me. Taking a peek into the room, I slip out into what looks like a storeroom of some sort. It's filled with crates and boxes, some labeled with words I don't recognize.

“Neyswa!” I heard Harris call out for me, her eyes scanning over each container. “Neyswa, where are you!”

“I’m here!” I said, running from behind the crate only to watch Lawsik come into the storeroom, his body stained red with blood.

“Neyswa, I thought I heard your name.” He said, coming toward Harris and I, a large smile on his face. “There are Na’vi attacking, we can escape now.”

Panic welled up inside me as I looked between Harris and Lawsik. I had to make a choice. I had to decide who I could trust. With a deep breath, I turned to Harris, "Help me escape." I pleaded, hoping I was making the right decision.

“Why are you looking at her Neyswa?” He looked to Harris, his legs parting some as if he were about to attack. “I can remove her as an obstacle if needed.”

Watching her move forward, she tries to take a swipe at him with her blade when he sweeps her feet from under her. Watching him grab her ankle, he snaps it in his hand and then reaches for her blade.

“No!” Screaming, I pick up the box nearest to me and throw it at Lawsik, watching the box smash into his head. “Leave her alone! What kind of man are you Lawsik?”

His icy gaze fixed on me, Lawsik dropped Harris' limp form to the ground. "I'm the man who's trying to protect you, Neyswa." He growled, advancing towards me.

Backing up against the nearest crate, I raise my fists like Royce taught me. I didn’t want to do this, I’m sure he was stronger than me, probably faster too but I didn’t have the space or time to run.

“I’ll kill you if you touch me,” I said, my chest heaving as he only stared me down, his eyes pinned to my face.

Ignoring my words, Lawsik continued his advance. "I won't let you escape, Neyswa. I won't let you run off," he hissed, his eyes burning with anger.

Watching Harris stand up, weak and tired she drives her blade into Lawsik’s shoulder, causing him to turn around and punch her in her side, sending her flying backward.

“You hit like a little bitch,” Harris said, standing up. “Run Neyswa!”

Nodding, I turn around and head for the emergency exit, shoving it open with all my force as the sound of alarm grows louder. Skidding in the dirt outside, I hear Harris scream followed by the sound of a sickening thud. Running off into the forest, I try to calm my steady heart, praying my stress wouldn’t lead to hurting my children, or worse.

“Neyswa!” Hearing Lawsik’s scream, I continue pushing through the forest, stopping near a small lake. “Where are you!”

Turning around, I see Lawsik coming forward when a fist slams into his face, sending him down onto the ground. Rolling back against a large tree, Lawsik looks up to the familiar face in front of him, war paint colors on his sea green skin, the same bright colors braided through his single black braid.

“Stand up bitch.” Said Nguyo.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 61

Snarling, Lawsik stands up wiping the blood from his nose, launching himself at Nguyo. Neither man held back, each clash of their fists sending the sound of punching through the forest. It was like watching a king of the jungle and a king of the ocean go toe to toe, yet Nguyo held the upper hand. Lawsik managed to land a few solid punches on Nguyo due to speed but every punch by Nguyo was followed by a strong strike to Lawsik’s body. His swimmer's legs giving strike after strike to Lawsik.

“Lawsik! Stop!” I said, coming from behind the tree I used as a shield. “Please!”

Lawsik staggered, falling down onto his knees. He looked over to me, one of his eyes bloodshot and swollen as he tried to take a step for me.

“Neyswa?” Nguyo asked and looked over toward me.

In his moment of confusion, Lawsik pried a piece of archer’s thicket from the ground, using his strength to lunge at Nguyo, attempting to stab him.

“No!” Screaming, I dive between Nguyo and Lawsik only to feel the end of the thicket go through my torso, just a few inches above my stomach.

Screaming, the stinging pain shoots through my body, my legs going out from under me as I clutch the wound on my stomach, blood running down my fingertips.

Lawsik’s eyes widened in shock as he reached out toward me, his hands trembling as he looked at the bloody piece of thicket. “What have I done? Neyswa, my mate.” He muttered, a horrified expression on his face.

Before Nguyo could punch Lawsik again, Lawsik flinched, his body slumping over beside mine. Embedded into his back were three darts, each one decorated with three large letters.

“Fucking asshole, broke my arm,” Harris said, coming toward us, her arm bent in an awkward shape. Dropping the dart gun, she winces pulling her blade from her thigh, coming over to Lawsik.

With a swift and precise movement, she plunged the blade into his arm, slicing out the tracker that was embedded within him. Taking the small pill-shaped tracker in her hand, she smashes the end of it and looks toward Nguyo and me.

Coming to a crouch beside me, Nguyo gently removes the arrow from my stomach and I bite down on my lower lip, muffling the painful scream I’d been holding back. I knew I could heal but every time it happened, it hurt like a bitch.

“Ma yawnetu,” he said, gently applying pressure to the wound.

“You came?” I asked, my eyes pricking with tears as I reached a bloody hand up to his cheek. He only nodded, bringing me forward to kiss my forehead and cheek.

“Always.” Even in the midst of the chaos behind me, Nguyo smiled, the same warm smile I missed. “I missed you so much Neyswa.”

"I missed you too," I whispered, tears streaming down my face as I clung to him. It felt like home for once, to be in his arms as he held me. “I was so scared,” I admitted, my crying turning into sobbing as my grip on him tightened.

“Me too.” He chuckled, gently rocking me back and forth in his arms.

It felt good to drop my defenses for a second, letting Nguyo just hold me. I didn’t care if Harris could see us, I didn’t care if Lawsik was unconscious, I didn’t care about anything except for how I felt right now.

“Thank you, Harris,” I said, as Nguyo stood holding me in his arms. Every part of him was warm yet he trembled as he held me, his eyes never leaving my face.

“Where is my kiss and hug?” She teased and gripped her arm. She looked from me to Nguyo and cleared her throat. “Have you seen Rene? She told me she would come with you all.”

Nguyo shook his head, and looked down at Lawsik, kicking his side.

“The little human at the resistance camp? The one with, brown skin?” Nguyo said, hauling me closer to him.

"Yes, that one," Harris replied, her voice strained from the pain. "She’s my daughter, I need to get to her.”

“Then we shall go,” Nguyo said, letting out a sharp whistle that seemed to silence the forest.

From behind the mountains, a few men and women covered in battle paints came out, a few of them faces from my clan and some new faces.

“Wait! Where is Ik’tanhì? And we have to leave Lawsik… Soltok here, he will find me. Can we lock him up, maybe, please? I don’t want you to kill him, he needs to be exposed first.” I begged Nguyo as the warriors approached us.

He seemed hesitant as he looked down at my hands which were gripping his body. “Okay, Neyswa. We can do that.” He nodded and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “You should rest, Ik’tanhì will be here soon. He was the one who led the attack.”

“Please, don’t make us leave without him, he’ll kill him. Please.” I hissed in pain as the wound on my stomach fully closed.

“Who will kill him?” Nguyo asked, trying to soothe me. “Neyswa, what’s wrong?”

"Lawsik! He'll kill Ik'tanhì if he gets the chance, he hates him." I whimpered, clutching onto Nguyo for support. "We can't leave without him."

"Alright, alright. We won't leave without Ik'tanhì," Nguyo reassured me, his grip tightening around me protectively. "We'll make sure he's safe before we leave, I promise." His words provided a small comfort, but the knot of worry in my stomach didn't subside.

I let my face sink into Nguyo’s chest, just listening to the steady beat of his heart as he spoke to the warriors around us. I didn’t want to see their faces unless it was Ik’tanhi. I didn’t want to hear another man speak unless it was Ik’tanhi. I just needed to know he was safe and away from Lawsik, and away from…

“Wait!” I said, trying to wrench myself from Nguyo’s grasp. “My father is in there! We need to stop him, he’ll kill us if we let him live.”

What if Ik’tanhi didn’t know? My father knew his face but I don’t know if he remembered his. “Please, someone tell him!” I screamed, thrashing around in Nguyo’s arms.

My breath hitched in my chest, my heart pounding uncontrollably. A sense of dread washed over me, my hands shaking as I clung to Nguyo. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t breathe and I didn’t know why. I gasped for air, my vision blurring. My body felt like it was on fire, a wave of nausea washing over me as the world started to spin.

Nguyo tightened his hold on me, his worried voice a calm echo in my eyes. “Neyswa, you need to breathe,” he begged, yet his words were lost to the sound of rushing blood in my ears.

I could vaguely feel Nguyo's hands on my face, his voice growing frantic as he tried to calm me down, but it was useless. My body was in overdrive, my mind was convinced that I was in imminent danger. All I could do was cling to Nguyo, my breaths coming in short, raspy gasps as I succumbed to the panic I felt.

Nguyo held me so I could watch the other Na’vi gather Lawsik, carrying him away to be held wherever they pleased. It was a small comfort in the grand scheme of things. I couldn’t see Ik’tanhì, I didn’t know where he was. My heart felt as if it would leap out of my chest as the RDA facility went up into flames, the vents pushing out fire as the metal from the pipes turned molten. Na’vi and RDA battled each other, and from the back of the building, I could see a few planes attempting to take off.

My body went rigid as I saw the planes lift off, vanishing into the distance. The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. "He's escaping!" I screamed, pointing toward the disappearing planes. "My father, he's getting away!"

Each word was dragged out as I struggled to breathe, but it was too late. The clouds seemed to swallow the planes up, leaving my heart racing in my chest. I could see a few Ikran riders coming toward us. At the front of the formation was a familiar teal and yellow set of wings, the rider’s hair decorated with colorful feathers.

Making eye contact with him, I stop my fighting and calm down, extending a hand outward for him. “Ik’tanhì,” I cried out, the panic I’d been feeling was like a snuffed-out flame the moment I saw him.

“Neyswa, wake up,” Nguyo said, touching my cheek as my head rolled back, my body finally relaxing.

The last thing I saw was the worry in Ik'tanhì's eyes as he swooped down toward me before my vision blurred and darkness claimed me.

The darkness shifted away and I awoke in some place dark, the sky nothing but a cave above my head. Over my body, there was a large soft blanket, something to nip away at the coldness.

“Neyswa.” I heard my name being called through the darkness, Lawsik’s voice coming from behind me.

Sitting up, I place my hand over my stomach instinctively when he comes toward for me, his eyes like embers in the dark.

“Neyswa, I thought you loved me.” He said, his body bounding over to mine.

"I did. I do," I respond, my voice trembling as I meet his gaze.

“Liar!” Screaming, he grabs my body and begins to carry me deeper into the cave, each step taking us into a darker and more narrow path. “You’re mine, until you die you are mine.”

“No, no!” I screamed as I sat up, clutching Ik’tanhì’s songchord in my hand so tight that it hurt.

Instead of darkness and the damp smell of Earth, I was met by a row of empty Nivi, my body nestled within one like a butterfly in a cocoon. My skin was dappled with sweat, and the human clothes I’d been wearing were replaced by a simple shawl that fell from my shoulders down to my knees.

Gently, I pressed a hand to my stomach, the skin smooth and unblemished as if my injury had never happened. The injury was so close to my little bump, so close to something no one knew about aside from Lawsik, Harris, and me.

Sitting up slowly, I look around and feel myself lurch forward. It looked like I was in some sort of large hallowed out space, a tree. I’d heard Ik’tanhì talk about a hometree but I never saw one up close like this. Everything so large and beautiful yet I couldn’t help but want to vomit from how high up I’d been. Just looking down the center of the tree I could see various floors, some with cooking equipment and some with a few Na’vi running around.

“Neyswa, you’re awake now,” Ik’tanhì said from behind me, a large bowl of food in his hands as he approached me. "I brought you some food," he said, handing me the bowl. "You need to eat and regain your strength."

“That is the first thing you say to me?” I said, taking the bowl from him. It smelled sweet and nutty.

“Well, I can’t dive upon you with this bowl in my hand.” He teased, standing beside the Nivi.

It may have been a bad habit I picked up from Lawsik but I found myself sniffing Ik’tanhì, the scent warm and comforting.

“Where is Nguyo?” I asked, swirling the contents of the soup around. “Is he okay? I want to apologize for panicking.”

“He is speaking with the war council, trying to spare Soltok on your behalf.” He said so, his teeth gritted as he spoke. “I don’t think he will succeed, even with that smile of his.”

Eating some of the soup, I let out a happy sigh when Ik’tanhì came closer, pressing a kiss to my lips and cheek, each one soft and sweet.

“Neyswa, life without you was so cold. Everything without you is so cold.” He said so, pressing another kiss to my mouth, licking the stray droplets of soup from my chin. “My mate is home with me, I can finally rest.”

“Don’t make me cry into my soup,” I said, my eyes brimming with tears again. “I want to tell you everything but I need Nguyo here too, I know he is busy but please, I just need you both with me.”

Ik’tanhì nodded, and took the spoon from my hands, eating some of my soup. He looked different as well. Where Nguyo looked more hardened, Ik’tanhì looked tired. He still had his muscles but there was something different about him.

“Did you not sleep while I was gone?” I asked, reaching out to push his hair behind his ear.

“Yula’vo had to make balms to help me sleep,” he admitted. “I kept having nightmares, waking up to see you actually were not there made it harder to sleep.”

“She is okay?” I asked, batting away the stinging building up in my nose and behind my eyes. “Everything happened so fast when I was taken. All I saw was fire.”

"She is safe," Ik'tanhì reassured me, his hand gently stroking my hair. "She was worried about you, but she's strong. She's been helping the others while you were gone."

”And my mother?” I asked, yet his gaze drifted off behind me.

“She has yet to wake up,” he admitted, raising a spoon of the soup to my lips. “But Wumut is off to the Kame'tire with her mate. They will bring a healer but maybe since you’re back, we will be fine.” He seemed as if he were grasping at straws with me. How fucked did I look to him then.

“I would do anything for my mother but I really need Nguyo, please,” I said, pointing down to the space where I assumed the council was. “I need you both. I need to tell you something.”

It felt strange not telling him of my pregnancy, especially when he was so close to my stomach. When I found out I was pregnant I was excited to know my mates would be fathers but being here now, I was nervous, borderline terrified. What if they didn’t want my children? What if they thought they were from Lawsik?

“Then you will come with me.” He said, carrying the bowl of soup away from me. Standing up, I roll my tired shoulders and reach out for Ik’tanhi who instead scoops me up into his arms. “My mate will not be walking.”

Carrying me with ease, he descended the levels of the Hometree, each step bringing us closer to the heart of the community. Every level was different and filled with so many people. It made me feel like our little clan was much smaller than I’d thought.

“Are you okay?” I asked Ik’tanhi, placing my hand over his heart. “I probably smell like Soltok, it’s gross, right?” I said with a chuckle.

Ik'tanhì gave a soft chuckle, "You smell like you, Neyswa. That's all that matters to me."

It felt good to want to kiss someone, to want to be held and loved by someone.

Coming to the floor the council is on, I quickly greet the others and they follow suit, the argument they’d been having simmering down.

“You should be sleeping, my friend,” Ikeyni said, her arms crossed as she spoke.

“I’ve slept enough,” I said, as Ik’tanhì lowered me down to my feet. Coming up to the council table, I look down at the chart they’d drawn up. From what I could see they’d already attacked other RDA areas.

“What could you have to say?” An unknown woman said to me, her eyes flickering up and down my body.

“Well,” I said, pointing down to the table. “I was in the building when they attacked. I’m not a fighter, that is easy to see but I’m observant. This raid you all did isn’t the main base. From what I heard there is another that sits more to the east.”

“And you’re sure?” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t know how but my father is back, some of you know him as the man who destroyed Ik’tanhì’s home, the west branch of the Tipani. He’s alive and he is like us, he’s a Na’vi-”

“A dream walker?” Ikeyni asked, leaning forward over the table. “Ik’tanhì said he killed him.”

“And he did,” I said, moving my hand down to the bottom of my stomach. “He came back though, I’m not sure where Harris is but she can probably explain better than I can. She was RDA. All I know is that it was called Project Lazarus. He is actually the one who helped Lawsik attack my clan.”

“Who is Lawsik?” Nguyo said, coming to stand behind me.

“He’s Soltok, he took a fake name when he joined us. There are smaller details I could say but I will keep it short. He planned this attack with the RDA. He willingly joined the people destroying everything we love just to get what he wanted.”

“Then why is he alive still? He killed my brother!” A man said from the council, his fist slamming into the center of his hand. “Everything he says is ashes in his mouth, his word will mean nothing. He does not need a trial, he deserves to die.”

“I think everyone deserves a trial. He could have information he didn’t tell you about. When he kept me with him I saw things. He had RDA devices in his little cave he kept me in. He tamed a toruk without the bond. As much as I hate him and want to see him suffer for his crimes, he became a toruk makto.”

The crowd seemed uncomfortable as I spoke, some of them confused.

“Him?” Ikeyni asked, jutting a thumb back a section of hometree I could not see. “He becomes toruk makto?”

“I was surprised too. I don’t know where the toruk is now but her name is Yrrpe and she was hurt by the RDA. They cut her kuru and she had injuries around her name. He said he saved her from them.” It felt uncomfortable to defend Lawsik as I spoke.

“He will not talk,” Nguyo said, flexing his fingers. “We have tried to speak to him, offered him food. He refuses to do so.”

“Why?” I asked, looking up at Nguyo who only looked down at me with a stern and sad look on his beautiful face.

"Perhaps he feels guilt for what he has done," Nguyo suggested, his gaze darkening. "Or maybe he's simply stubborn. Regardless, he remains silent."

“Well if he does not speak by sunrise, he will die. May Eywa forgive him for his sins.” The older man said, walking off with Ikeyni following after him. He wasn’t her mate so I had no clue as to who he was.

Watching the council disband, I turn around and put my thumb in my mouth, gently chewing where my nail would have been.

"Let's go back," Nguyo suggested, wrapping an arm around my waist. "You need rest and he needs time to consider his options."

“I don’t need to rest, I need to talk to you and Ik’tanhì. Alone.” I said, looking around the crowded tree.

With a nod, he led me away from the crowd, Ik’tanhì on our heels. We found a quiet spot near the roots of the Hometree where we could talk without being overheard.

“If you are going to ask for him to be spared, then I will have to say no,” Ik’tanhì said, helping me sit on the thickest part of the tree root.

“I am not usually one for violence but I agree,” Nguyo said, coming to take a stand between my legs.

“I’m pregnant,” I said, looking between the two of them. I didn’t want to cut any corners or walk them in circles. “It’s not Lawsik’s first off. I never slept with him.”

A stunned silence hung in the air, the revelation hitting them harder than any punch could. Both of them were speechless, their eyes wide in shock. It was Nguyo who broke the silence first. "Are you sure?” He asked, looking down to my stomach.

“I’m sure,” Raising the shawl I was wearing to touch the small round of my stomach. “When I was with the RDA my father wanted to take my blood and do tests on me for the amrita I absorbed when I died. Found out there that I was pregnant, with twins.”

“This is amazing, Neyswa!” Nguyo smiled, raising me into the air. “I am going to be a father!”

“Twins?” Ik’tanhì said, shaking his head and looking off into the distance. “Two children?”

“Are you not happy?” I asked Ik’tanhì who was snapped out of his daze. “No, I am beyond happy Neyswa. I have always wanted to be a father.” He smiled and reached out touching the lower portion of my stomach. “No wonder you kept curling up in your sleep. Putting you in the nivi was near impossible, you refused to uncurl yourself.”

"I didn't realize... I mean, I knew something was different, but I didn't think..." Nguyo trailed off, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "This is... it's a miracle, Neyswa." His voice broke on the last word, overcome with emotion.

Bringing my stomach up to his face, he kisses it gently, his head under my shawl as he talks to my stomach.

Looking at Ik’tanhi he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “To think Lawsik had you while you were pregnant, it makes me want to rip his head from his shoulders.”

“He was crazy, he is crazy,” I said, as Nguyo surfaced, his smile stuck on his face as I spoke.

“When he took me I was so scared. He killed Soye and stuffed some plants in my mouth and everything was just so numb. I watched as our people were firebombed and all I could do was cry and pass out. For a few days, he kept me in RDA shelters, forcing me to lay beside him. I tried… things then, I thought I lost everything so I didn’t want to be here anymore. I wanted to die, I thought you both were with Eywa and I could join you but that was impossible, he didn’t let me die. He was always watching and waiting, he told me I was his mate and he said a bunch of other crap. Apparently, he was Tipani, the same clan as you Ik’tanhì. I was so scared that I started to believe him I think, not believe he was a kind person but believe that he cared about me. I thought I could use that to help me run away from him and it worked for a time but it was so scary to be with him. He drugged me every single day he could so I would sleep through being dragged around. I am surprised I still have these children with me, I was so stressed out the whole time, and yet they’re still alive.” I said so, glancing out at the setting sun, the sweet Pandora air filling my nose. “It’s good to be free but I need to talk to him, I need you to let me talk to him,” I begged them both. “Alone.”

“No,” Nguyo said, shaking his head, his smile vanishing just as quickly as it came. “I can’t leave you with him. He killed our people, he took you away from us Neyswa! He is not only a murderer but he is a traitor and a thief! For all we know he will try to kill you in there.”

“He won’t hurt me,” I said shaking my head.

“How are you so certain?” Ik’tanhì asked, shaking his head. “He is a liar Neyswa, he told you he loved you but he could have been lying to use you.”

“He is not lying!” I said now, raising my voice. “He does, I know he does. I am not going to speak to him because I love him, I have no feelings of love toward that man. Is that why you two are worried?” I asked, pulling away from them both.

Ik’tanhì shook his head and pulled me back toward him. “No, no Neyswa. We are just worried he will hurt you. He is locked away but I want to ensure your safety before his. You just told us of all the things he did to you, it is hard to leave you with someone like that. The last time we left you alone, we lost you.” Ik’tanhì was angry as he spoke but he seemed more angry with himself.

“It’s not your fault, this happened to me,” I said, crossing my arms. “You didn’t know he was going to take me so stop worrying and blaming yourself. There is no way he can take me again, I promise.”

“I know, just…” Ik’tanhì sighed, looking down at my stomach. “You will get five minutes and then we are coming in.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 62

I’d never seen a true Na’vi prison until now. I had a feeling most Na’vi didn’t need to be locked up but when they did, it was something out of nightmares. It took us a couple of moments just for us to get down to the cell that held Lawsik. There were guards outside of the room which looked more like the inside of a chestnut. Lawsik was there on the ground, his arms bound to the walls with rope, his legs also bound behind him. He only stared at the ground, silently.

“Five minutes,” Ik’tanhì repeated, before closing the privacy flap over the entryway.

Coming to the front of where they were keeping him, I looked at the sticks dug into the ground, each one like the bars on a prison cell.

“Neyswa?” Lawsik asked, slowly looking up at me. “I knew you would not let harm come to me, ma Neyswa.” Even in his more subdued state, he strained against the rope, before giving up. “Are our children safe? Did I hurt them?”

“You need to speak to them Lawsik. You need to speak to the council about what you did and why you did it.” I said, sticking my hand through the bars to hold his cheek.

“They will kill me whether I speak or not. I want to know if my mate and children are safe.” He said so, turning his head to kiss the back of my fingers.

“Lawsik, I am not your mate and these children are not yours. You need to wake up, this isn’t back in the cave, this is real and they will really kill you. I am not here to stop them from killing you, I’m here to give you the last lifeline you have. Not because I love you either but because my father is a sick man and sick men make sick men. Please, if you actually ever cared for me, speak and tell them what you know. Please.” I begged, turning his head so he could face me. “Please.”

Lawsik looked down at my stomach, before nodding. “Okay.”

“You mean it?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “You will comply and answer them?”

"Yes," he affirmed, his gaze steady. "For you, Neyswa,”

“No, for you Lawsik, and if you do get to live, I want you out of my life. I want you to leave me be. I need you to do this for me.” I was begging the man who’d be stalking me to leave me alone, pleading for him to save his own life. “Are you hungry?”

The privacy flap behind me opened and Nguyo came in, taking my hand in his. I wasn’t dragged away but it felt like I was being toed out of the room. “Please eat Lawsik and listen to whatever they say. Please.” I said as the privacy flap closed, leaving him on his own.

By the time we were in the already too-narrow hallway, Nguyo was scrubbing my hand clean with his loincloth while Ik’tanhì wrapped his arm around my back, gently toying with my tail.

“You are too kind to the people who have wronged you. If I knew your father was in that building, I would have taken his life again. I went looking for Lawsik but I couldn’t find him. I am happy Nguyo did.”

“I wanted him to die too,” I admitted and Nguyo’s body seemed to relax. “I don’t know why I keep saving his ass. When my father took us I kept him safe. They put a collar on him and they were shocking him and he was being beaten.” Just remembering made the smell of blood fill my nostrils. “I had to bargain to give things to my father for him to give us better conditions.” I leaned into Ik’tanhì, inhaling deeply to ingrain his scent in my brain.

Ik'tanhì's grip around me tightened as he listened to my words, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "You should have never been put in that position, Neyswa," he said, his voice filled with a mix of anger and sorrow. "Enough talk of killing, you deserve some time to rest. Our children, deserve rest.”

“They don’t need sleep, they’re the size of two small beans,” I said, holding my hands up. “Are you two worried about which of you may be the father to the children? I know I mated with Ik’tanhì first but I only mated with Nguyo about a day or so later.”

Both of them were silent for a moment before Nguyo finally spoke, "It doesn't matter who the blood father is. We're both going to be their fathers, but if it worries you, they will not be ugly like Ik’tanhì.”

“Ik’tanhì is not ugly,” I said, smacking Nguyo in the side. “He is the most beautiful man I know.”

“And what of me?” Nguyo asked, holding where I’d just smacked him.

"You're also beautiful, the most handsome man I know,” I said, giving Ik’tanhì an equal smack.

“You are still here?” Ikeyni said, approaching the three of us. The paint on her body was as vibrant as ever, as if she were always ready for war.

“Still here?” I asked, stepping in front of Nguyo and Ik’tanhì, my hands on my hips. “Are we supposed to leave?”

"No, Neyswa, but you should rest," she responded, her gaze softening. "The council will convene tomorrow, and you have been through enough today."

“Why is everyone telling me to rest, I just came back to see everyone, I can’t rest knowing my father is out there. He could find us.”

"Your father won't find us, Neyswa," Ikeyni reassured, placing her hand gently on my shoulder. "We have warriors posted and we are on high alert. Now, please, rest for your own sake and for the sake of the little ones." She eyed my belly and I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, Ikeyni.” I said her name with a lilt in my voice, grabbing for my mates when she stopped me.

"No, before you go," Ikeyni said, her tone serious. "You need to know that we stand with you, Neyswa, in all of this. We will protect you, and your children. You are one of the people.”

“I see you, Ikeyni,” I said, stepping forward to pull her into a hug. I wonder if it had been something awkward for her because she put me at arm’s length patting my shoulder.

"And I see you, Neyswa," she responded, her hand lingering on my shoulder for a moment longer before she turned and walked away.

“To think you would bond with Ikeyni of all people. You should learn to make better friends. Everyone I find you with is a warrior, where are the weavers or storytellers.” Ik’tanhì said, directing me toward one of the openings at the bottom of hometree.

“Are you just jealous because Ikeyni is cuter than you?” I teased, before feeling an uncomfortable stirring in my body. Rubbing my lower stomach, I feel the familiar need to vomit building in the back of my throat.

Pulling away from both of my mates, I quickly move away from them, letting up the small bowl of soup I’d eaten earlier.

“Neyswa!” Nguyo was quick to come behind me, moving my hair from beside my face.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern etching his features. He held my hair back as I heaved again, my body convulsing with the effort.

“No, I’m fine. Just, needed to puke.” I said so, wiping my mouth clean.

Nguyo wasn't convinced, but he nodded, helping me back to my feet. "Let's get you back to the hometree," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist for support. "You need rest, Neyswa.”

“I know, everyone is telling me to rest. I’m pregnant, not dying.” I said a bit snappy, leaning into Nguyo. “I am just a bit nervous for the meeting of the war council. You two still haven’t told me what happened.” I said, looking at Ik’tanhi who was now toying with my five-fingered hand.

Ik'tanhì sighed, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. "We'll explain everything once we're back at the hometree, Neyswa. For now, just focus on moving one foot in front of the other."

“You two really want me to lay down, don’t you? Is there any other reason aside from the pregnancy? You both in the mood or something?” I teased.

“Possibly, is that a problem?” Ik’tanhi asked, coming closer to slip my arm around his waist. “I’ve missed my mate, can you blame me?”

“I’m not doing it in hometree.” I whispered, pointing to all the others around us. “We have the man who literally kidnapped me downstairs, my father is out in the wild planning who knows what, my mother is in a coma, I’m pregnant and tired and you two want to have sex?”

"Yes," Nguyo said, without missing a beat.

I felt my cheeks flood with warmth, knocking my hand against Nguyo’s chest. “Nguyo!”

“You think I am like this? You should have seen Ik’tanhì while you were gone. He was sniffing your clothes and lashing out at people.” Nguyo said so, with a smile.

“Well, I did the same. I used to curl up at night in both of your shawls, it kept me warm,” I admitted rubbing my arms.

“At least you could wear our shawl if we were not there,” Ik’tanhì said so, turning to where the family nivi were. I could hear him mumbling under his breath about having to share my shawl with Nguyo who would take it into the ocean far too often.

Slipping into the nivi, I lay down in the center when Nguyo came resting to my right, Ik’tanhì coming to take the side on my left.

We lay in silence, my hand gently moving across Ik’tanhì’s chest as he practically lay as still as he could. Nguyo was fast asleep, his hands over my stomach like a shield for his too-small children. Meanwhile, Ik’tanhì was as stiff as a board, his hand over mine as I stroked sweet slow paths down his warm chiseled body, small scars new to his skin.

“Did you get these while I was gone?” I asked, tracing the fresh scar on his chest, the mark smooth and clean. “What did you get this one from?”

Ik'tanhì was silent for a moment before he finally spoke, his voice a low whisper. "It was during a hunt. A thanator... it happened quickly, but I'm fine now." His hand covered mine, guiding it away from the scar.

“A thanator? Are you a thanator magnet?” I chuckled quietly, my hand sliding down to his. “When I was running from that thanator when I first came here, I remember being so scared, I thought I was going to die. I didn’t expect you to just grab me when I was going to jump.” I said so, looking up into his kind orange eyes.

“I thought you were… interesting. You were scared but you tried your best to live so, I don’t know, I just stepped in.” He shrugged as he spoke, guiding my hand to the songchord around his hips.

“And then you tried to petition for my death and nearly caused it, maybe you deserve this scar,” I said jokingly, looking at the new addition to his songchord.

“I was being hot-headed, to think I nearly hurt you. I am sorry.” He said, moving down so we were face to face, his mouth close enough to mine to share air. “This will be a horrible story to tell the children when they are here.” He said, moving even closer, his forehead resting against mine.

"I think it's a beautiful story," I whispered back, closing the gap between us to share a gentle, lingering kiss. "You were angry, I was sad. We hated each other. The fact that we are here now is Eywa’s will and I wouldn’t change it.”

He returned the kiss eagerly, his hand sliding between my body and Nguyo’s as he tried to pull me even closer. I tried my best to keep calm, the last thing I needed was to draw any further attention as the person known as the pregnant kidnapped girl.

Ik’tanhi’s kisses were almost as eager as he was. He didn’t mind Nguyo being so close because his kisses traveled down lower, his face nestling into my neck. “We still need to make up for lost time.”

“Not in front of everyone!” I hissed, yet I let him kiss me, my eyes rolling to the back of my head. “The others are sleeping.”

“I don’t care.” He said, biting down into my skin.

His words sent a shiver down my spine as his hand began to wander, but I quickly swatted it away. "Ik'tanhì," I warned, my whisper barely audible. "I don’t think I should show up to the trial tomorrow covered in bite marks and being absolutely tired.”

“I think it would be perfect, to let Lawsik know you will never be his. How could he try to take what is mine.” He said into my neck, coming up to lay a quick kiss to my lips.

“When he had me trapped with him, he spoke about you. He hated you.” I said, trying to focus. “He said you were a coward and just left your people while he stayed and fought. He told me he took me for his people, that he sold us out to save them but I don’t know. He never even told me the name of his clan, just that the RDA hurt them. He thinks he did nothing wrong, he said he was never loyal to our people. I told him you were no coward and how you made me feel.”

Ik’tanhì stopped his affection kisses, to look into my eyes. “Neyswa, why did you choose to speak to him? I know you blame your father but why not let him suffer for what he did.”

“I don’t know. You both started out the same but you would never do what he did so I don’t know why I want to help him.” I admitted and Ik’tanhi nodded, pulling his hand away from my face.

“Do you think you have feelings for him?” He asked, his heart racing in his chest as he asked.

“Feelings?” I asked back. “What do you mean by feelings?”

“You know what I mean by feelings. Do you care for him beyond pity?” He was calm as he asked, yet I could feel how tense he was becoming, his eyes searching my own.

“No, I don’t have feelings for him. I thought I might develop them when I was with him, like if I just acted like I loved him then when I would be forced to stay with him it would happen naturally. I used his affection against him, to get what I needed. I never slept with him but there was one time when I was tempted to let him touch me, I missed you and Nguyo and I thought closing my eyes and imagining it was you would satiate me but I just felt worse.” Admitting it just made me feel worse.

“I am happy you are honest but I am unhappy that he even got the chance to touch you.” He said so, wiping my lips clean with his thumb. “I hope he pays for his crimes tomorrow.”

"I hope so too," I whispered back, resting my head against his chest. "I want this nightmare to be over." His heartbeat was steady beneath my ear, lulling me to sleep.

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 63

“Tsahìk Neyswa, the council is waiting for you,” Wumut said so, snapping me out of the blank stare I was subjected to.

Everything around me felt like it was going in slow motion, so much to the point that I didn’t notice Wumut standing there until she was in front of me.

“I am not the Tsahìk, my mother is still alive.” I corrected her, my hand falling over my stomach.

“Neyswa, you are our Tsahìk until your mother awakens. Please, do not reject your position, especially now. Our people need you.” Wumut adjusted ‘Eki in her arms, the little chubby baby reaching his hand out to grab his mother’s top.

“Is it hard?” I asked, looking at ‘Eki who was not busy shoving his fingers in his mouth.

“Is that hard?” Wumut asked, chuckling at ‘Eki.

“Being a mother. I’ve never been a mother before and now I will mother Na’vi children.”

Wumut smiled warmly, shifting 'Eki in her arms. "It is challenging, yes, but it is also the most rewarding journey you will ever embark on," she shared, her eyes softening. “You will be a good mother, Neyswa just as you will make a good Tsahìk.”

“If you believe so,” I said, rubbing my small bump. “When they come I just hope they are both calm like Nguyo. I adore Ik’tanhì but he has enough energy for the both of us.”

“Have you decided on what you wish to name them?” Wumut asked, reaching out to cusp her hand over my small bump.

“Yes actually. Nguyo insists they will be boys and Ik’tanhì thinks girls, I agree with Ik’tanhì but to please them both I have a name for a boy and a girl. I split it down the middle to make them both happy. Täori for a boy and Eyiti for a girl.”

“If ‘Eki was a girl I would have named him Mo’ae.” She said, giving Eki a little bounce. “We can talk about babies more after the trial. I will be happy when that murderer is ashes on the wind.” Wumut snarled, turning on her heels.

“I agree,” I said, even though something within me stirred. Before we were even at the bottom of hometree, there was a large crowd gathering outside, people armed to the teeth as guards marched Lawsik out of the tree.

It had only been a single night since I’d seen him but the second he looked up, his eyes caught mine. Was it normal to feel a tangible connection with someone you hated, this was hate, right?

He was forced to look down as he walked, a knife under his kuru as he was forced out into the sunlight.

My stomach cramped uncomfortably as I continued to head down, my hands cupping under my stomach. I just needed to calm myself, I needed to be at ease. It was hard though when I was supposed to be seen as a figurehead for my people.

As I descended into the crowd, I found myself drifting into the dense body of people, until I was at the outer ring of guards surrounding Lawsik.

He had new scars on his body, a fresh wound across his torso reminding me of a blade. I wonder if he’d done it to himself or if it had been done to him. I didn’t know why I worried about him or why I cared but I couldn’t help but want to speak to him, even if it was the last time I was able to do so formally.

“Do you know where I can go to connect with Eywa?” I asked one of the guards, paints of blue, white and yellow on their cheeks.

The guard turned to me with a stern gaze, before nodding. “There is a hollow tree to the north of the village. Inside you will be able to connect with Eywa.”

"Thank you," I said, my gaze shifting back to Lawsik for a moment. The sight of him, tied and broken, was supposed to make me happy but instead, it left me feeling hollow.

Sifting through the crowd like a fish in a stream, I quickly slip outside, my heart beginning to pound in my chest. “Eywa, please give me strength,” I said.

Moving North was easy, doing so unseen was the hard part. If this was back home at the reef I might have blended into the waters with my flowing shawl emulating coral. However, I looked more like a giant butterfly racing through the undergrowth.

“Hollow tree, Hollow tree.” I repeated over and over to myself until I came upon the hollow tree the man spoke of.

It was large, the entrance covered in hanging flowers and glowing sacks. Inside there was a smaller tree, like a glowing child inside of it’s mother’s womb. Around the tree wood sprites floated peacefully, each one moving in Rhythm with the hum of the planet.

Producing my kuru, I approach the large glowing tree, connecting my kuru to the end of one of the glowing pink tendrils.

“Ma Eywa, there is dread in my heart.” I got down onto my knees, holding the tendril close to my body. “Mother I know you are meant to keep the balance, but I ask for your help. I feel so lost, so confused. I yearn for peace, for clarity. I need your guidance and your mercy. Please, help me.”

As I asked, the atokirina' came closer, a few of them landing on my body.

“I know he has done wrong, I know he is a bad person but it is not his fault. The sky people are evil and they stripped him of what made him good. Please, mother Eywa, please protect Lawsik.” I may have been a fool to pray to protect him but something in my heart was uneasy knowing he might die, his life nothing but a spectacle for others to gawk at.

Tears welled in my eyes as I prayed. My voice was nothing but a whisper in the wind as I begged Eywa to save him. Maybe I was crazy but there was something deep in the pit of my chest that believed that somewhere deep down Lawsik was still there. That he was just the scared child who lost everything.

“Mother please, I don’t know what I feel but please, take his burden away and lead him to peace,” I begged one last time before parting ways with the tree, my body warm as I took a step back.

Peace. The one thing I wanted more than anything.

Reaching out to the atokirina', one lands in the palm of my hand, and I gently carry it with me. It was childish but in this moment I felt like I was carrying the weight of our people in my hand, as if Eywa wanted to see how things would play out.

Hearing the pounding of drums in the distance, I inhale deeply and calm myself. “Everything will be alright, everything will be okay,” I said, walking beside the sea of Na’vi as they continued to march off into the forest. It seemed like the further we got from hometree, the farther we got from peace and safety. The only perk of so many of us walking together was that no animals came from the forest to attack.

“Mother Eywa hear me, Mother Eywa protect the people, Mother Eywa hear me, Mother Eywa give us strength,” I sang the prayer to myself as we walked, a few of the Na’vi on the outer perimeter of the crowd glancing my way.

It looked as if we were marching into an arena of some sort. The center of the pit was lower to the ground, in the center was a large totem with a toruk skull on it. Lawsik was yanked there, his body bound to a thick strong rope. His arms, neck, and feet were bound to the bone and skull-covered totem, the guards around him holding a knife to his kuru and to his neck. It took every reflex in my body halting to not crush the atokirina’ in my hand from all the panic I felt.

The drums only got louder as Na’vi began to sit and stand, watching the war council gather around Lawsik.

There among them stood Ik’tanhì and Nguyo, both of them looking at Lawsik in disgust as he found me again in the crowd.

”It is time!” Ikeyni said, and like the wind blowing out candles, everyone fell silent. Ikeyni looked toward me, motioning for me to take a seat in the main circle around Lawsik. “Today, we will avenge our fallen brothers and sisters. Today, we will find peace!” She said so and the crowd burst into various cheers.

I stayed silent as I came down to the inner circle, unable to cheer as Lawsik stood there like a pig ready for the spit.

I sat down, my eyes never leaving his as we looked on at each other. In the past when he looked at me he looked at me like a treasure and even know, he gave me the same tender look. Maybe I was just stupid and he was manipulating me.

“Here we have Lawsik, a former member of the Tipani and the Katotxampay. He not only betrayed his people but he went as far as to steal away his own tsakarem. He is a traitor who should be pierced through the heart for the burdens he put upon our people.” Every word Ikeyni said was true and it hurt to hear, to know that he did this to my people. “Their former Tsahìk has not even awoken from the sleep the sky people and him have placed her under.”

That was also right, he did so much, and yet here I was, praying like an idiot for him to be safe.

“Olo’eyktan Nguyo, I see you. Will you speak for the people?” Ikeyni asked, and Nguyo nodded, his orange ceremonial cloth dragging behind him as he came to the front of the group.

“I see you, Ikeyni.” He gestured back and turned to the people. “I see you, brothers and sisters. Thank you for joining us. Some of you may know me as a man of peace. The Katotxampay are not those who seek war or to fight, our numbers are already low. Our peace does not mean we will let others walk over us, I was not born a fighter but I would die one before I let my people suffer. This attack, I did not see coming. We found Lawsik torn to ribbons in the forest, we brought him into our home and my mate, Neyswa, healed him. He did cause small troubles but that is expected of any young man fitting into a new space.” Nguyo glanced at me and then the sprite in my hands. “During the winter months, our people are too small to survive on their own so we meet with other clans. During this time of peace and celebration, we were attacked by the sky people. They destroyed years of tradition in a few moments. Families were killed and our homes were nothing but embers and ash all because of one man’s selfish wish. To have my mate. I place no blame on her shoulders, she can not help it if someone falls for her beauty, I am a victim myself.” Nguyo was serious as he spoke, with no smile on his face. “I can not speak for the Syulangrey but I know for a fact that Lawsik has personally taken the life of one of their members. A young Na’vi named Soye. If he is not punished for the burdens he has placed on our people, he should face execution for the life he has taken. Like I said, I am a man of peace but this can not be forgiven.” Nguyo finished speaking, his hand held out for me to come join him.

I rose from my spot, walking over to join Nguyo at the front of the gathering. I took his outstretched hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as I turned to face the crowd. "I see you, Nguyo," I began, my voice steady despite the turmoil within me. "I stand with my mate, and with our people. Lawsik must face justice for his actions." The crowd cheered, until I held my hands out, the Atokirina' beginning to float among the people. “I also, stand for peace but with peace, comes sacrifice. Everything Nguyo said, was correct. Lawsik has done things that we should never forgive. Lives were lost and that is something we will never get back. I was there when everything unfolded, my body inches from Soye’s lifeless form. I couldn’t even mutter a prayer for her spirit because I was given plants that made me unable to move or speak. All I could do was sleep and wake up, my body was dragged from camp to camp with Lawsik. Every day was torture because I thought my people were gone. At one point, I wanted to walk among Eywa because being alive without the people I loved felt like death. Yet there was one thing I learned and that was that,” looking back at Lawsik I frown. “Death solves nothing.”

The crowd gasped, some of them beginning to disagree already. It was clear that their faces were contorted in absolute disdain at the thought of not killing him.

“Neyswa?” Nguyo said, coming closer to me. “What are you saying?” He whispered, his displeasure palatable.

“I am not saying he should go unpunished for what he has done. I believe, I just know that killing him would bring us no justice. What will we do with his body? Burn it once he is gone? Will that bring our people back? He did horrible things, from the moment he took me to the moment he was free yet while we were together he never forced himself onto me, and he could have. He wanted to change, he was honest with me and even if he knew he’d face persecution, he was willing to take me back to my people’s home to make up for his errors. I don’t think Lawsik is evil, I think he is lost.” As I spoke, more atokirina’ drifted into the meeting, the seed pods floating around in the air.

“We can not be the hand that stops the metal wheel of pain, we need to be the hand that breaks it. Please, let Lawsik live, not as a free man but as a reminder of what happens to our people when we are alone and left to suffer at the hands of others. If you wish to punish him, please hear him speak first.” I said so, turning the crowd’s attention to Lawsik who looked dumbfounded.

“And how do we know you are not just, in love with the boy.” The older male na’vi that I now knew as Yeyatley spoke up, every word of his powerful.

“Because I know what love is and what I feel for him is not love. It is pity and it is acceptance. He took everything from me and I still accept him. I will not come to arms to stop you all from killing him but I will use my voice, it is my weapon.” I stood firmly in place, my hands moving over my stomach.

Yeyatley sized me up and down and then looked to Lawsik. “Speak, before your life is forfeit boy.”

Lawsik seemed hesitant like he’d been wondering if he should speak or not. He looked at Yeyatley and then toward me. Nodding, I give him the smallest smile and he inhales before turning to the people.

“I do not deserve your mercy, nor am I asking for it. I will tell you my story and you may choose to listen.” Everything he said was with confidence and pride as if he weren’t moments away from his death. The atokirina’ drifted around him as he spoke, some of them landing on his head.

“Some of you know the clan I was from, a sector of the Tipani, the same as Ik’tanhì. Our elders thought it would be wise to learn from the sky people, so with the other children I went and I learned. I studied them, I mastered their language. I saw Ik’tanhi as a coward. The elders told him to run but I chose to stay and fight for our people and our land. I was a child fighting against their weapons and I nearly died, they thought I died. I awoke to our home tree burning and falling, crushing everything I’d ever known. The sky people took my mother’s body and they burned her until nothing was left of her. I did not have a clan to shelter me, so I looked until I was taken in by the Tawze clan. They promised to stand with me and we worked for years to fight against the RDA. Many of my people died fighting battles no one else saw. The sky people would take the dead bodies of my people and melt them in their poison water. Someone with a life would be gone in a matter of seconds.” As he spoke, he seemed to be holding back tears from the memories, his eyes clenching shut momentarily to catch himself.

“That is when I decided to strike the heart of the man who took my life, and his heart ended up becoming my own. I had plans to kill Neyswa but a raging fire can not snuff out light, no matter how hard it tries. So when I decided to use that light for myself, the RDA poisoned the land where my people were. They wanted to build a sky people colony, so they turned the rivers slick and brown, every fruit rotted, not even the light could survive their darkness. Everything I grew to love rotted and died. With my own eyes I saw them shoot down a toruk and slice it’s kuru off.” He spoke sadly, Yrrpe no where to be seen.

“So you punished my mate for things her father did?” Nguyo said, his fist balled up in anger.

"No," Lawsik responded, his eyes meeting Nguyo's. "I punished her because I was sick. I could not see past my blind rage. Desperation drove me toward the sky people, to work with them so they would free my people of the curse they placed on us. My people are still sick, they may be dead by now. I regret being a traitor to the Katotxampay, I regret killing so many, and I regret kidnapping Neyswa and keeping her from the people. Yet, if given the chance to keep my people safe I would do the same again. Fault me for my actions but never force me to apologize for fighting for the only life I have left.” Lawsik finished speaking and the atokirina’ began to drift toward him, the little sprites gathering on his skin.

His words hung heavy in the air, a silence settling over the crowd. Even those who had been clamoring for his execution now looked on with conflicted expressions, their anger dimmed by the raw honesty of his confession. Even Nguyo looked a little less murderous, the fire in his eyes calmer.

“Fine. We have seen the evil of sky people, even in peace they do not see. They only destroy and kill. You are a product of their deeds, no different than a feral animal. How do we know you will not hurt anyone else?” Ikeyni said, clicking her tongue in anger.

“Because I love someone, and I would like her to live a life with no more pain. Even if it begins with my death. She was kind to me when she did not need to be, she is a good person and I would die for her peace.” He spoke clearly and calmly, his eyes on me as she spoke to Ikeyni.

Nguyo moved closer to me, his hand locking under my arms as he sighed. “I think it is time for the council to decide your fate. Since Hentì could not be here to cast his vote, we five will vote with Ik’tanhì acting as a stand-in for Hentì, with his approval. Olo’eyktan Ikeyni, Yeyatley, Ik’tanhì, Neyswa and myself. Does anyone object?” Nguyo asked, looking at the sea of faces.

No one objected, their gazes shifting between each other with a tense silence hanging in the air. The decision now rested in our hands, and the weight of it was almost too much to bear.

“I vote death,” Ikeyni said, her voice the first one to speak. “I second that,” Ik’tanhì said, his arms crossed as he looked at Lawsik.

“Well, I vote for peace. We have enough death for all our lifetimes.” Yeyatley said, before turning to me.

“I second that, I think peace is the answer,” I said, placing my hand over my stomach, another shooting pain in my lower abdomen, something I’d gotten used to since pregnancy.

It all fell on Nguyo’s shoulders, everyone’s eyes on him as we waited for his choice.

"I vote for death," Nguyo stated firmly, his gaze meeting each one of ours before settling on Lawsik.

It was done, I’d failed. Lawsik looked out into the crowd as if he accepted his punishment in full.

Nguyo took the sea glass blade from his hip, moving behind Lawsik. I couldn’t look. I’d taken a life before myself but that was in defense of my people, Nguyo was doing the same so why couldn’t I look?

I shifted to face Ik’tanhì, my arms wrapping around him as drums began to play, their steady matching the pounding in my ears and chest.

“Will it hurt?” I asked Ik’tanhì as Nguyo fisted his kuru in his hand.

Before he could answer, Lawsik sliced off Lawsik’s kuru causing him to erupt into screams. The color in his cheeks paled as he struggled before the clans, his body going limp only seconds later. This wasn’t death, this was worse than death. Lawsik would never be able to connect with Eywa, never be able to connect with anyone or anything for that matter. Eywa was the light in the darkness and now he was to walk around, blinded like a human.

“As Olo’eyktan of the Katotxampay, I also revoke his uturu. He is to be banished from our lands.” Nguyo said this, tossing Lawsik’s kuru into a large fire in front of us.

The crowd erupted in cheers, some people louder than others while a small group was silent. This is what peace was. Mercy was a luxury and Lawsik had already had his cake and ate it too.

“Any clan that shelters this murderer will be enemies of the Tayrangi,” Ikeyni said before letting out a sharp whistle. “Do not think this is the end of retribution. We will show the sky people our wrath, they have wanted war so we shall bring them war.”

Lawsik’s body was led away from the people by a few guards, probably to throw him off of the lands of this clan. I was happy, I was sure what I felt in my chest was happiness. I could sleep at night without worrying about being hurt but I also felt dreadful. This was all my father’s fault. He ruined so many lives and got away with it free of charge. I didn’t know why but it made my heartache even worse.

It didn’t ache for Lawsik’s sake. If I were anyone else I would want justice yet because I was Georgia Stringer, I know what my father did to people.

“We should go, we need to prepare to leave,” Ik’tanhì said, pulling me away from the area. “Lawsik was a horrible person, you should not fault yourself for what he did.”

“Why do you think I am faulting myself?” I said, frowning.

“Because I know my mate.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 64

Sleeping between Nguyo and Ik’tanhì might as well have been like sleeping between two rocks. They both were immovable forces, their arms like two heavy sheets of blue stone on top of me. Escaping Nguyo’s grasp was a bit easier, oddly. All it took was stroking his side to get him to move his arm but Ik’tanhì? It took wiggling and struggling. Every time I got an inch away he managed to grab onto me. It was nice to know I wouldn’t go rolling out of the Nivi anytime soon.

By the time I made it free from both of them, I was beside all of the bags our people had. After Lawsik’s banishment, we gathered our things, ready to leave. Gifts were exchanged and plans of war were made with Ikeyni’s people offering to be on the front lines. Ik’tanhì told me he was a little uncomfortable doing so because the Omatikaya might stick their nose in our business. Apparently, the Tipani and their people had strife in the past which was still palatable.

Grabbing my own bag I quietly began to head down the layers of hometree, praying my presence went unnoticed by those who were awake.

Making it to the warmth of the cooking pit, I carefully begin to prepare a few Niktsyeys. Those who did pass me paid me no mind when I mumbled about the pregnancy making me hungrier than ever.

“This should be enough for a week,” I whispered, carefully wrapping them up. Reaching down to a few warm stones on the fire, I wince while wrapping them up. Placing them at the bottom of the bag, I place the food on top and stand up clearing my throat.

“Medical supplies, food, clothes,” I said over and over to myself as I left treehome, the guards giving me a strange look.

“Tsahìk Neyswa, do you have plans to leave?” One of the young guards said with a concerned look in his eye. “Shall I inform the Olo’eyktan?”

"No need," I replied, casting him a reassuring smile. "Just a quick trip to gather some herbs. I'll be back before dawn."

“Then allow me to accompany you,” He gave me a happy smile, placing his hand over his heart. “My people are versed well in the flora in this area.”

“No thank you,” I said curtly, growing slightly restless. “It would be inappropriate for you to leave your station,” I said so with a smile, hoping he would take a hint.

“There are more guards, please it would be an honor.” He came closer, his shimmering arm beads like a loud bell in the dead of night.

“I’m going to go have sex with Ik’tanhì.” I lied giving the guard a wide smile. “Would you like to watch that?”

His cheeks turned a deep shade of blue, his hands going up in front of him like a shield. The other guard beside him chuckled, patting the young man on the back.

His embarrassment was enough for him to finally let me go. "No, Tsahìk Neyswa. That won't be necessary," he stammered, stepping back.

“I am just joking but I will be back before Dawn, if Ik’tanhì or Nguyo come looking for me tell them I am North of the two sister’s river.” Pointing off into the distance, I head off into the forest with a happy smile.

Looking for Lawsik was easier than I’d expected. When I was alone I could feel myself being more in tune with Eywa. The earth pulsed beneath my feet, the forest seemed to breathe, and everything felt more alive. Also, Lawsik’s scent was easy to find, it was like an odd blend of cinnamon and wood.

Following the scent, I eventually found Lawsik in a breathtakingly beautiful part of the forest. It was a hidden glade, bathed in a soft glow from the bioluminescent plants and creatures that inhabited it. The trees towered high above us, their branches creating a natural canopy that filtered the light from the moons overhead. A crystal-clear stream meandered through the glade, the sound of its gentle flow a soothing melody that added to the serene atmosphere. Lawsik was seated on a rock by the stream, his eyes closed in deep thought.

Following the scent, I stop when I stumble upon Lawsik who is looking over a few meager supplies he’d been given. They weren’t enough to survive, if anything it looked like a fuck you gift. A dagger, something roasted with seed and some rope.

“I can smell you Neyswa,” Lawsik said, turning around to look at me. He looked like a dimming star, his eyes not holding the same glow that shined in them just days ago.

Walking across the glowing glade, I come to stand in front of his knelt body. Reaching a handout, I touch his kuru gently and he winces.

“I could try to heal you, I could give you some blood or something, there is a reason my father wanted my blood.” Gently releasing his kuru, I smile sadly.

“Even if you could, this is a punishment I deserve.” He gave me the same sad smile and shrugged. “Being without Eywa or my ancestors is, strange. The world feels empty. Is this how it felt to be human, scared?”

Taking a seat I pat the space in front of me, before pulling the supply bag off my shoulders.

“When I was a human, I was alone most of the time. You can see the people and you can be with people but you cannot feel something like the Na’vi can. The closest thing we had to a kuru was just trusting ourselves or others. It is not easy to be cut off from the world.” I said so honestly, passing over the supply bag.

“Why are you helping me? I did a lot of horrible things.” Lawsik said so, taking the bag from my hands.

“Because I know how it feels to be where you are. My father hurt me too and I know hurt people, hurt people. I still don’t trust you all that well, I came here because I chose to trust you for now. Plus, I figured you wouldn’t be able to survive that well on your own, I saw how you kept your cave. You need to eat hot meals and take care of yourself. Don’t let your hatred consume you anymore, it’s not worth it.”

“I think it is too late for that,” He said so looking over the supplies I’d left for him. At the bottom of the bag along with the food was a quickly made shawl, mainly made from my own items. It was hard to make it without looking odd.

“Is this for me?” He chuckled, slipping the shawl on.

"Yes, it's for you," I replied, a small smile playing on my lips. "I didn’t need you to freeze to death without being reminded to keep warm.” Coming forward, I adjust the shawl on his shoulders.

It was sad to think that in another life, this shawl might have been placed on his shoulder as a leader. If my father wasn’t a horrible man both Lawsik and Ik’tanhì would have their homes. I probably would have met the Tipani in a civil way, met their families and maybe Lawsik would have gotten his wise to have a mate naturally. Ik’tanhì had someone he was promised to and Nguyo would have been at the ocean. It made my heart to think that maybe Lawsik felt something that was meant to be there but changed.

“There are some stones in there for now to keep all your food warm, and some herbs in case you get hurt.” As I spoke I felt my eyes beginning to brim with water, my throat straining.

“Don’t cry for me, I’m not a good person.” He said so, reaching out to pat my cheek.

“I am not crying for Lawsik the killer, I’m crying for Lawsik the child. The one who should have been happy but he died the day my father came into his life. That is who I cry for.” I said, standing up now.

Lawsik followed, reaching out to touch me but I pulled away, lowering his hand.

“Do not come back to the people, you will be killed.” I warned, “I can only give you this. So don’t ask me for anything either. Just coming here to help you is bad enough. Don’t waste your second chance.” I straightened up, trying to calm myself.

Turning to walk away, he grabs my wrist and holds me in place for a second. “I will be leaving that cave, it is in Na’vi territory. Even so, don’t come to see me Neyswa, I don’t need your help. I will go back to my people and try to help them the best I can.”

"I understand, Lawsik," I said gently, pulling my hand away. "Stay safe." And with that, I turned and began my journey back, leaving the exiled man alone in the glowing glade.

By the time I returned to hometree, I could tell that my ass was grass. Not only was Nguyo standing outside, squat over a small fire but he also had been clutching his dagger. He was far away but the muscle in his arm told me that if he clutched any tighter, he’d probably shatter the poor hilt.

As I approached him, I noticed his body tensing and releasing, his ears pulling back as he turned to look at me.

“Neyswa,” He said my name with enough heartache that it made me stand in place.

Approaching him slowly, I come over to the arm holding the dagger and I give it a slow stroke.

“Put down the dagger,” I said, trying to soothe him.

His grip only tightened for a second before the dagger slipped down his hands. “You should not go out alone at night Neyswa,”

“Lawsik won’t hurt me-”

“He killed so many people Neyswa, took did things to you that a normal person would not do to their worst enemy. He is not a good person, you do not need to be off alone with him in the woods, giving him gifts!”

“Oh, so you followed me and ran back here?”

“No Neyswa, I had someone else follow you.” He said so honestly. “Do you think I’d let you do something rash? You’re letting your heart cloud your judgment.”

"I am not being rash!” I said, holding my lower stomach, my small bump somewhat bringing down my new fast temper. “He is out there alone, banished and I thought what I was doing was right. I didn’t need someone to follow me or hover over me like I was a child. I can take care of myself, Nguyo. I did so before and I can do it again.” I said so as if I was convincing myself more than him.

He stared at me, his eyes full of a mix of emotions. "I know you can take care of yourself, Neyswa," Nguyo said softly. "But that doesn't mean I won't worry about you. Ever since that night, I am not the same.” He raised his hand for me to see, his fingers quivering. “Every single night, I can not sleep. I have dreams of you. Some of them are happy dreams, but most of them are not. How could I not worry about you when I know there are so many who want to harm you.”

“You have nightmares, about me?” I asked, lowering myself down to his level.

“Yes,” he admitted, reaching out for my hand.

Pushing his hand away, I instead slip into his lap, wrapping myself around his body. I didn’t need to see his face to know how he felt right now, I could feel his pounding heart.

“Most of my dreams begin the same. You are with me and then you leave and never return. Then there are the fires and the attacks. Your body is so twisted and ruined from it that I can only sob and hold you. Then I would wake up and you would be gone still, your body not even there for me to hold.” He spoke softly, his face buried into my neck. “Do not let me go Neyswa.”

“You think I would just leave you so easy?” I said with a sad chuckle. “You’re my mate Nguyo, you’re with me forever and even then when we are nothing but nourishment for the ground we will be together in Eywa.” Pulling back so I could see him clearly, Nguyo smiles and I feel my eyes beginning to fill with that uncomfortable warmth. “I’m sorry, I will be more careful.” I said, trying to steal a kiss.

His eyes softened at my words, and he gently cupped my face, his thumb tracing my cheek. "Thank you, Neyswa." He murmured, leaning in to return my kiss.

Everything Nguyo did made my heart flutter, the feeling of his mouth against mine, the sweet taste of his lips. He was quick with his hands too, slipping down my body to my waist where he held it in place.

“What are you doing?” I chuckled, pulling away from the kiss. “There are people inside of hometree Nguyo, we can’t do that.” I teased him and tried to move but he held me in place.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he simply said, "Who said anything about that? I just want to hold you close for a little while longer." With that, he tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me closer against him. “Also, I think people already know about what we’ve done.” He said so, touching my stomach.

“Are you saying you don’t want me right now Nguyo?” I teased him, pouting.

“I always want you Neyswa,” He admitted. “Just, wait until we are back home. I will make it so you never want to step into the forest again.” Nguyo whispered, his voice barely above the wind.

“As much as I’d like to put an end to this forest stuff, I have a feeling it will be our second home. My father knows where we are probably. I can’t live my life knowing he could show up one day and just decide to hurt any of us.” I said so, wriggling loose from Nguyo.

“And that is something we will deal with tomorrow, for tonight. Allow me to just hold you.” Nguyo asked so, frowning as I came to a stand in front of him. “At least let me speak to our children through you.”

“You can speak to them right now, I’m sure they know their father’s voice,” I said so, bringing my small bump toward Nguyo.

Feeling his lips against my stomach, he begins to speak in Na’vi, more fluently than when he speaks to me actually. It was calming to hear him relax and get to enjoy himself, the first time in a while.

“What are you saying to the children?” I asked, reaching down to run my fingers through Nguyo’s hair.

“That their mother is reckless, so they will need to grow strong and quickly to survive.” He said so chuckling into the skin of my stomach. "And that their father will always be there to protect them, no matter what," He continued, pressing a soft kiss against my skin before resting his cheek against my stomach, his eyes closed in peaceful contentment.

“I think Neyswa will be doing enough to keep them safe,” Ik’tanhì said, coming from seemingly nowhere, his footsteps as light as ever. “Get off my mate, she needs her rest.”

Nguyo gently pulled away from me, before reaching out to Ik’tanhì. Grasping his wrist, he places his hand on my stomach. “Be quiet, monkey boy, and talk to your mate and children. Then maybe she will not be tempted to run off into the forest in the middle of the night.”

Ik'tanhì chuckled, his hand resting gently on my bump. "Well, if that's the case, I might need to be a bit more persuasive in convincing our Neyswa to stay put. It would be easier to tell the stars to come down from the sky," he said, his voice soft and full of adoration. Squatting down beside Nguyo, Ik’tanhì gently rubs the small underside of my bump.

They both seemed to switch into father mode whenever they saw the small bump, touching it and simmering down to a sweetness I missed.

“I’ll try my best,” I said, pulling myself away from them both. “I promise,” I whispered now touching my own stomach. “For them, for you.”

Chapter Text

DOTS - Chapter 65

Nguyo was up to something, I knew he had. He’d been extra attentive today, washing my hair, feeding me, kissing my ever-growing bump. He’d even gone out of the way to help me dress myself. Now he sat in front of me, giving me kiss after kiss on my mouth, his attention trained on my face.

“What are you up to?” I asked, gently lacing together the sides of his loincloth.

Nguyo was preparing to hunt with the men of our tribe, all of them seeking excitement in something that wasn’t glued to hometree. He mirrored me, kneeling and touching my body as I dressed him.

“I want to lay with you, I want to have you right here, right now. Every day you look more beautiful. I am sure the hunt can wait.” He said so bluntly, inching closer to examine me. “Do you want the same, beloved?”

My eyes locked with Nguyo’s as he pulled me forward onto his lap. We’d not been intimate since before the bombing and I could tell it was getting to him. Sometimes when we’d been idling around I felt his hand slipping down my tail or under my loincloth. At first, I thought the flirty little touches were just that, flirty. However, this morning when I’d been preparing food for him, I felt him brush past me, erect and aware of everything he was doing.

“I always want you,” I said, leaning closer to rest my head on his shoulder. “However, these twins are craving fish a bit more.”

Nguyo chuckled, his laughter rich and warm as he stroked my belly. “Fine, I will bring back the biggest fish for you. Then after you are full and pleased, I will spend hours making love to you.”

I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. "It's a deal, fish man," I said, feeling his arms tighten around me.

“Meanwhile I will be with Ik’tanhì headed for a rookery. He thinks I should try and get an ikran while I’m pregnant. Something about the Ikran bonding with the baby.” I said so with a sigh, my hand feeling the underside of my stomach.

“A rookery?” Nguyo asked, my body gently rocking back and forth in his arms. “He wants our mate and our children dangling in the sky?”

“I don’t think he plans on letting us dangle in the sky Nguyo, you don’t need to worry,” I said so as Nguyo stood, his arms still wrapped around me as he carried me out of the small nook we were in.

He was never one to hide his affections, sneaking in kisses and small touches even when we were around others. It felt like Nguyo was finally beginning to unwind. Even the nightmares he’d been having were lessening, something that made me happy. The only thing I needed now was for us to return home. However, whenever I happened to bring up the subject it would be pushed back further. First, it was we can’t leave our allies in times of need but now it was due to all the activity among the RDA. We didn’t know what they had planned but the sky was a bit different some days. Balloons would canvas the area before being shot down from the sky, with nothing attached to the metal balloons aside from what looked like an antenna.

“I always worry about my mate, you are always a step too close to danger.” He whispered into my hair, before gently setting me down at one of Hometree’s entrances.

“Well, the faster we are able to return home the clearer my mind will be. No word has been sent back on my mother’s health. She hasn’t awoken Nguyo and I think I’m what 11 weeks now? We’ve been here and while I adore everyone and I love helping out, I just want to go home.” My pleading dropped to a whisper as I placed my fisted hands on my hips.

“And we will go home, today will be our last day here. I promise you.” Nguyo leaned in for another kiss but I grumbled, turning my head so he’d be forced to kiss my cheek. “Beloved, please.”

“I know, I know. I am just tired of hearing that today will be our last day here. I want to sit with you on the beach and prepare a space for our children. Soon, I will be too heavy and too tired to leave this place.” I said so, gently adjusting my top and loincloth, my breasts a little more tender than I expected. Being pregnant was not as cute as Yula’vo made it look.

The only thing that seemed to ease up lately was the morning sickness. No longer was I rushing out of hometree to vomit in bushes, now I’d just had the awkward need to pee near constantly.

“Well, I mean it. I wanted to surprise you but tonight will be our last meal here and then we will go. Now even the sky people will stop us.” Nguyo said the word in English as if he wanted to reassure me. “Once we are home, I will make us a beautiful Marui. We will be at peace, my love.”

I sighed, nodding before sliding my hands over Nguyo’s tattooed skin. He was doing so much to please me; all I’d been doing was nagging, throwing fits, and giving him hell for trying his best. I felt my constant annoyance tip toe into guilt as he looked at me lovingly.

“Peace, that sounds nice,” I said with a nod, giving him a little squeeze. “Just, be safe while you are hunting. I know you are the Olo’eyktan but you’re my mate first. I’d like you to be safe.”

Nguyo smiled at me, pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. "I promise, my love, I will return safe to you," he said before pulling away and joining the hunters who’d begun to gather.

“And why the frown, baby?” Ik’tanhì said, seemingly appearing from nowhere. He’d picked up the habit of calling me baby, something that made my cheeks flush with warmth.

“Because now that he is gone you’re going to drag me up into the sky,” I said so, moving to Ik’tanhì’s side. “Do you really think I can tame an ikran? What if I fall?”

Ik'tanhì wrapped his arm around me, his smile comforting. "You won't fall, I promise. And it’s not taming, it is bonding," he said, slipping his hand down my back, rubbing my lower spine where it ached earlier.

“Yes, please more right there.” I practically purred into his side, as he began to lead me outside.

As I stepped outside with Ik'tanhì, I could see the men of our tribe preparing for the hunt. I watched as Nguyo joined them, his tail swaying like a happy puppy as Ik’tanhì turned me away from the group.

Ik’tanhì continued the rubbing, his fingers working away every not in my lower back. If it weren’t for his plans today I might have just stopped and asked for a massage. The walk to Tetsa felt a tad long, and my feet were slightly swollen after all these weeks.

“If you would like we could do this another time, Neyswa,” Ik’tanhì said so, his deep voice like a cooling balm.

Ik'tanhì nodded, moving towards Tetsa. He gracefully climbed onto her back, his body fluid like the wind smooth and practiced. Once he was securely seated, he extended a hand towards me. "Come, Neyswa," he said, helping me onto Tetsa’s back.

The flight to the Ikran rookery wasn’t the terrifying part, it was more of avoiding the RDA’s little balloons. As we rode through the air, Ik’tanhì shot down RDA balloon after balloon, each one crashing to the earth in a pool of flames.

We touched down near the rookery, the eerie cries of the ikran echoing around us. At the base of the climb sat a little campfire, some roast fruit in a basket, the smell enough to turn my stomach in a fit of hunger.

Ik’tanhì was gentle as he brought me over to the fire, a rope in his hand as he began, “My beautiful Neyswa, I wish I could have taken you to Ayawa Ikran. It is where I bonded with Tetsa.” He smiled, his white teeth glinting in the firelight.

“Is that where the Tipani get their Ikran?” I asked, gently taking the rope from his hands.

"Yes, it is a sacred place," he replied, his eyes reflecting the warmth of the fire. "But this will be just the same, Neyswa. Here, come with me.”

He began to lead me through the open space, Tetsa pushing off the ground and into the air as Ik’tanhì brought me to a narrow passage. The glowing mushrooms along the wall and glittering roots made my stomach twist in an uncomfortable knot. Images of Lawsik’s face in the cave that day wafted through my mind.

I felt myself stop in the shallow waters of the cave entrance, Ik’tanhì stopping with me. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He asked.

I looked at him, my hands trembling even as I tried to stop the shaking. "I...I can't," I stuttered, the memories of the cave and Lawsik's face too fresh, too raw. "I can’t go in that cave.”

Ik'tanhì looked at me, a soft understanding in his eyes. “I am here with you, I promise. I will not let anyone hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t but, I just see his face. For a while, I forgot about his face.” I said so yet forced myself forward, each step more painful than the last. “That night that he took me, everything was so dark. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t move.” My words strained as he continued through the small cave.

Ik'tanhì held me close, his arms warm and solid around me. "It's okay, Neyswa," he whispered, "We don't have to do this now. We can come back another time.”

“Another time? I refuse. I won’t have any other time.” I said, giving my mate a squeeze as we were spat out the other end of the cave.

The open-air was a relief, the gentle breeze brushing against our skin as a flurry of Ikran flew above us. Above us I could see a few Ikran snapping their maws at me, their eyes trained on our every move as we continued our trek through the floating forest.

“What color Ikran do you think I will get, dear?” I asked, taking hold of Ik’tanhì’s hand as a large cup-like leaf catapulted us through the air, onto a bed of lush grass.

“One that matches your eyes would be nice,” he said so, leading me through the mist-filled air. The higher we went into the air the more fragmented the land became, each floating chunk of rock connected to the last.

“Come, jump,” Ik’tanhì said, bringing us toward a large floating chunk of stone. Jumping forward, Ik’tanhì would easily begin to propel himself upward. Following after him, I grasp onto the vine beside him, carefully pulling myself upward.

We both continued up carefully navigating large bridges of vines and narrow passages. Now I could see why he wanted me to come now. Any larger and I might have been waddling around. The only thing that made this journey slightly terrifying was the fact that a few of the ikran began to fly down lower, their eyes trained on Ik’tanhì and me.

Their screeches echoed around us, a warning of their presence. “When we reach the top you need to know that your ikran will try to kill you,” Ik’tanhì said so, carefully guiding me under a waterfall.

“You’re just now telling me that the ikran will want to kill me and all I have is a rope?” I asked, balancing myself across the thick slippery vines.

“Is it not rope, baby? It is yìmkxa, mouth binder.” He pushed his wet hair from his face and gave me a happy smile.

“Maybe I should use the yìmkxa on your first,” I grumbled, emerging onto dry land.

It seemed as if we’d made it to the ring of land all the ikran were perched on and it was just as terrifying as I expected. Most of the ikran seemed to hiss and snap but they flew away, leaving me to wander through their nesting area.

I inched closer until I felt a huff of air force me forward onto my hands and knees, the sound of a loud growl ripping through the air. Sliding to a stop in front of me, the bright blue and orange ikran would nip at me, their maw snapping feet away from me, for some reason instead of feeling fear I felt a slight rush.

“Remember Neyswa! Bind the mouth and make the bond!” Ik’tanhì said so, his gaze on me and the ikran.

“Easier said than done,” I whispered, carefully darting to the side as the ikran launched forward again. Placing one hand over my belly, I rush below the Ikran, carefully throwing the yìmkxa around its mouth.

With a swift, unpracticed movement, I tightened the yìmkxa, the Ikran's mouth, struggling for a moment to secure it before she pulled against me, throwing us both off the cliff we were standing on.

I screamed, my hands clutching tightly onto the yìmkxa as we plummeted, the wind whipping my hair around my face.

“Neyswa!” Ik’tanhì screamed out for me as I struggled against the stubborn Ikran, grasping for its kuru.

I grunted as I managed to wrap my hand around one, but the ikran jerked its head causing me to nearly release my grip. We were getting closer to the ground, we were going to die.

Reaching behind me to grab my own kuru, I connect it with the Ikran who seem to stutter in the air. It was strange to feel the bond, something so intense and raw. It wasn’t like connecting with my mates, this was more like finding another piece of me that I didn’t know was missing.

With a roar, the Ikran shot upward, the wind slamming into me as we ascended. We climbed higher and higher, the ground becoming a distant memory. Wrapping my legs around him? No, her, I chuckle and try to get a firm hold on her as Ik’tanhì and Tetsa come beside me.

“Neyswa! You need to slow down! You need to want her to slow down!” Ik’tanhì came closer, as I managed to get the ikran in a somewhat straight position. Securing my hold on her, I take a moment to steady my uneven breathing, my heart pounding in my chest as I look to Ik’tanhì who seems to be sweating bullets.

“So, this is what it feels like to fly on your own,” I said, my voice barely audible over the rush of the wind.

Ik’tanhì laughed, his eyes twinkling in the sunlight. “Welcome to the sky, Neyswa.”

Chapter Text

“And you are sure that is everything? We have not left behind any food or any gifts?” I ask, pushing around the items inside of the little boat my mates were to travel in together.

It was to be my first time traveling alone and in the sky, something I’d demanded of Ik’tanhì and Nguyo if they wanted any chance to hold me. I didn’t want to get home quicker than the others, I needed to. Part of me wondered if my mother was alive if she’d been sitting at home waiting to hear news about me, if she would be happy to see my children and know that our family name would not die with me. It warmed that cold spot in my chest that I’d been feeling these last few days.

“Nothing is left behind beloved, except for this maybe,” Nguyo came closer, helping me adjust the harness that was on my Ikran and then the harness around my stomach. When he’d heard me begging to ride alone he fashioned a harness quickly. He said he’d wanted the children and I to ride without the worry of injury.

Tucking one of the feathers from his cloak into my harness, he smiles and moves closer, giving me a kiss on the cheek. His lips lingering for a second too short.

“Please do not fall from the sky,” He teased, running a hand along Nuli’s tangerine and cyan hide, his large hand stroking her maw. “And do not drop her, Nuli.”

“Be careful, she will think you’re her mate too.” I teased, touching the intricate saddle on her body. Nuli looked more ready for the skies than I’d expected her to.

Looking ahead, I could see Ik’tanhì speaking to Tetsa, stroking her maw and neck the same way. For a moment I’d been reminded of Lawsik and his toruk, both of them now broken and alone. He deserved his punishment and yet, I felt like I was the one to blame.

“Will you miss him?” Nguyo asked in a hushed voice, looking up at me from the warm sand. His eyes held a slight sorrow as he reached out toward me.

“No, Ik’tanhi and I have been apart before just like you and I,” I said so shrugging, getting ready to lift into the air with Nuli.

“You know that is not who I mean, Neyswa. Will you miss Lawsik? I do not ask because I don’t trust you… I just know you are a free spirit and you will do as you please. I would rather know now if you have plans to part ways with the clan,” Nguyo’s eyes glinted with worry as he came closer. He wasn’t asking me if I would miss him, he was asking if I’d run off to get him.

“I have no room in my heart for a man who would hurt my people, my mates, and myself,” I said so firmly, after all, I’d been repeating it to myself every time the image of Lawsik flashed in my mind. Yet I couldn’t shake what he’d said to me.

Maybe he was right. If my father never burned down his treehome then I would have never mated with Ik’tanhi, hell, I would have never met him probably. Even my sweet doe-eyed Nguyo would be with his own people, a mate of his own by now but instead here he was with me. Would I have been with Lawsik, mated, and one of his people? Would I be carrying his children? These were just some of the questions that ran free in my mind.

“Hm, good,” he ran a hand down my thigh, the worry melting from his face. “Once we return to the people you will have a lot to deal with Neyswa and I did not want him to cloud your judgment.” He hesitated for a moment, his gaze shifting from my face to my hands. “Our people are hurting, they need their Tsahìk.”

“I know Nguyo, I know,” I said so placing my hand over his, giving it a strong squeeze. “I need her too,” I said so stubbornly, only to have Nguyo huff and playfully squeeze my hand back.

Nguyo nodded, turning away from me, joining Ik’tanhi and the others in helping secure everyone aboard their boats. He looked back at me once more before leaving, a gentle smile on his face. Nodding back at him, I pull back and steady myself as Nuli lifts off the ground, gliding through the air.

As we rode along the cool ocean breeze, I found myself glimpsing back toward the mountains I’d thought I’d be calling my prison and my home. Some sick part of me wanted to turn around and to find Lawsik in that forest and welcome him back. The sound part of me wanted to punch the lights out of him. The only thing I knew was that I missed my mother, I missed our people and I missed the way I felt. It was strange to admit to myself that I missed Lawsik. He kept me safe with him, he cared for me, and he didn’t touch me unless told. Yet, he took so much more from me that even now I didn’t know who I was.

It was like he’d took me apart piece by piece and rearranged me into this new Neyswa that I didn’t quite like. The Neyswa who was foolish enough to harbor an inkling of feelings for him. The stupid Neyswa who began to stew over her feelings, heartbroken that she’d be leaving him alone, clanless and injured and just as helpless as she found him. Maybe it was the bond they’d once shared or the Stockholm syndrome, but either way, this new Neyswa choked back tears as she left the faint glow of the forest behind.

“Stop it,” I said to myself, brushing loose tears from my cheek. “Stop thinking, just fly.” And that is what I did, letting the sound of the wind and the ocean wash away what I’d been feeling.

The ocean seemed to stretch on for miles, the water more clear and the air lighter as we moved further and further from the RDA. Even Nuli seemed pleased with the change of atmosphere. As much as I hated to say it, I began to loathe being in the forest. Every time I went out for a walk alone I had this horrible fear that I’d never come back. That my father would spring forward from a bush and slit my throat to seal the deal. It was funny to think that he’d clawed his way from hell just to come and bother me in a new life. It took my Avatar years to cook up in a lab but he’d had his own stashed away baking at the same time. Was that thing even my father anymore?

On top of that all I’d been plagued with night terrors, each one worst than the last. Sometimes it was my father cutting into my growing belly, prying my children from my lifeless corpse. Other times it was Lawsik taking me away again, my mates burned to nothing but cinders on the breeze. It was enough to make me nearly throw up off the side of Nuli yet I held steady.

“Ma Neyswa!” I heard a loud shout from below, my attention being drawn down to Ik’tanhì who stood up on the boat he’d been on. Nguyo seemed to be trying to steady it as they both looked on with worried faces. “Ma Neyswa, are you okay?” He called out, letting out a low sharp whistle.

From behind I’d watch Tetsa plane out over the water, Ik’tanhì quickly mounting her as he reigned backward. Coming to take flight beside me.

I hesitated before responding, my grip tight on Nuli’s saddle. “I’m just thinking,” I admitted, avoiding eye contact as I spoke. I knew the moment I looked into his eyes my stupid mood swings would kick into gear and I’d end up balling my eyes out, sending Nuli and I both straight down into the ocean.

“About?” He persisted, a hint of concern seeping into his velvety voice.

Sighing, I nod toward a small cluster of islands below and Ik’tanhì seemingly agrees, directing Tetsa toward the land below. The thought of confronting Ik’tanhì scared me more than the thought of losing control of my emotions in mid-air. As we landed on the sandy beach, I dismounted Nuli and took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. Ik’tanhì approached me cautiously, his eyes filled with a deeper worry as he reached out for my stomach.

“I am fine, I am fine.” I said so trying to steady my breathing only to have him bring his hand up to my chest. “I’m just thinking of everything,” I said, placing my hands on top of his.

“Everything?” He repeated.

“Everything that happened, everything happening and everything that is going to happen but I know, I have more to worry about. I need to think about our family and the babies. I don’t have time to feel or think what I’m thinking.” I rambled on.

Ik’tanhi looked at me, his gaze going past my eyes and striking deep as he spoke. “Neyswa, it is only us. You can relax.”

Feeling my bottom lip tremble, I move into his arms, sobbing quietly into his chest. It was as if all the accumulated stress as of late only got worse. “It’s all my fault,” I said, pulling him tighter against me. “My father is back because I was too foolish to kill him when given the chance, Lawsik is in the wild, alone and an outcast, never to join the people again. You and Nguyo don’t love me anymore because I was being stupid, everything is crashing down and I don’t know what to do. I should have left Lawsik to die, I should have never trusted him, I should have died with my mother as a child and none of this would have happened. You would be safe, you would have your mate and your family. This is all my fault, everything is all my fault and now our children will have me as their mother, useless.” I choked on my words as I spoke, my tears covering his blue skin as he held me tighter.

“Never say those words again, ash on the wind.” Ik’tanhì said, his eyebrows knit together in worry. “My foolish mate.” He chuckled as I wept, his canines glinting in the dimness of night.

“You think this is funny?” I ask, my crying coming to a near halt as I hiss at him.

“Yes, I do,” he said softly, stroking my hair. “You would blame yourself for the shifting in winds if allowed. It is your second life, you are allowed to make mistakes.” He whispered, kissing the bridge of my nose.

"But what if I make the wrong ones?" I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper as I buried my face in his chest.

“And?” He slid his hands along my back, comforting me. "We will face them together. Even before we mated I knew I would stand beside you no matter what.”

“Do you mean when you tried to feed me dirty fish or when you nearly drowned me in the water?” I asked, holding him back a little.

”I meant around the time you lied about your father.” He said so mimicking my sassy tone. Rolling my eyes, I playfully push Ik’tanhì away to have him playfully hiss, grasping at my tail. “I am kidding, Ma Neyswa.”

“Let’s just return to the others. The last thing I need is our clan to get more upset over being away from home.”

Chapter Text

I think it's time I return! I also know how to draw characters now so I can draw the gang and anyone else! Hope you guys look forward to it. New Chapter, coming Soon! X