Archive of Our Own ^beta

The whole team were gathered around in the dressing room, the majority of them half asleep. 

Some of the boys were quietly chatting, whilst others sat on their phones, Colin and Moe were curled up on the centre island, trying to get some extra sleep in whilst they waited to head out to the coach. 

Will was already in the car park sorting out everyone’s suitcases, making sure they were all on the bus and no one’s belongings were left behind. 

“Alright you lot,” Roy barked as he stepped out of the office, “Wake those two up and then head out to the coach, we’re hitting the road in ten, if you’re late we leave without you.” 

Isaac poked Colin’s cheek, “Oi, wake up, we’re heading off.” He then flicked Moe’s forehead. 

“Fuck off,” Colin grumbled, “I’m sleeping.”

“You can sleep on the bus.” Isaac told him, helping him up. Moe had already stood, rolling himself off the side of the island and then walking out like nothing had happened. 

Once Colin was up he and Isaac both grabbed their carry-on bags and followed the rest of the team outside. Everyone filed onto the bus, settling down quickly. 

Colin sat in a window seat, Isaac on the other side of him, he used his mate's shoulder as a pillow and quickly fell asleep again. The only time he felt awake at four in the morning was if he was drunk as fuck, unfortunately he was sober and had had to leave the house at three thirty to get to the club. Colin really hoped this tour was worth it or he’d be pissed. 

In what felt like no time at all the bus pulled up at the airport. 

They’d chartered a private jet as there were so many of them and the club had the money, it was the easiest way for them to travel, so boarding was speedy as anything.

“Look at this,” Jamie cheered as he walked down the aisle, arms in the air, “the height of luxury.” 

How Jamie was so awake so early was beyond Colin, he thought the other man would be the grumpiest of them all. 

The only other person who was awake and energised was Dani, but that wasn’t a surprise to anybody. 

It didn’t take them long to get into the air, and in no time at all they were flying over the Atlantic heading onwards to America. 

The Premier League had announced a summer series where six clubs were going to spend July in the States. The plan was for each team to play against three of the other teams who were heading out, each one at a different stadium in a different state. 

The boys had been beyond psyched when they were announced as one of the teams that would be embarking on the journey, the only dampener had been the god awful departure time for their trip out. Other than that it looked like it was going to be plain sailing. 

Colin did his best to fall asleep but his somewhat minor fear of flying was getting in the way. 

He’d never flown until he’d been called up for the Welsh national team for the first time at twenty when he’d had to make a horrific thirty hour flight to New Zealand, he’d really been thrown in the deep end with that one. 

Before the flight he hadn’t been nervous, he’d been excited, he was getting to go to the other side of the world to play football, he’d never been further than France before so going all the way to New Zealand was thrilling. 

Problems started as boarding began. The plane smelt weird in a way he hadn’t expected, he’d assumed it would smell like the outside, maybe a train or something like that but instead it was.. well it was hard to explain but he could feel it in his sinuses and it smelt wrong. He’d been sat with one of his team mates, Ben, who was a few years older than him and also played for Cardiff City so he'd promised to keep an eye on Colin and make sure he was introduced to the rest of the team properly. 

“Is it supposed to smell like this?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s all good,” Colin had told him he’d never flown before so he knew the situation, “They have to use bottled air, the altitude is too high to breath without it.” 

The safety video had freaked him out, it felt like a list of things that could go wrong, and they weren’t even told how to prevent any of them, just how to survive them. The implied helplessness scared him. 

And then they were barrelling down the runway, the speed pushing him back in his seat. He’d held onto the armrests as tightly as possible, eyes closed, head back, he could feel the rumbling beneath his feet and then a moment of perceived weightlessness as the wheels left the ground. 

As he finally started to calm down, allowing himself to relax in his seat he felt the plane slow, he tensed up again, this was it, this was the end, the one and only time he gets on a plane it crashes, just his bloody luck. 

Suddenly a hand had gripped his, when he looked through the lowered partition next to him he found Ben smiling at him, hand on top of his, “It’s all good, they’re taking some of the throttle off, see they need a lot of power to get us off the ground but as soon as we’re up they can take some of it off as they don’t need all of that speed anymore. This is supposed to happen and it is safe.” He’d told him, no judgement in his voice. 

Colin nodded, “Right, thanks, sorry I’m being stupid.” 

“You’re not being stupid, you don’t know what the noises and sensations are, makes sense they’d freak you out. Planes are fucking weird, who ever came up with the idea was nuts.” 

He’d been on many more flights after that, nine times out of ten he’d get called up for the national team so he couldn’t get out of flying, always jetting off to some country or other to play footy somewhere new. 

That didn’t mean he’d gotten any better at flying. Every time he reminded himself of everything Ben had explained to him on that first flight but he still found it terrifying. This flight was no different. He’d tried to play it cool but he’d been on enough boys' holidays with the lads that most of the team were aware of his fear of flying, many of them having witnessed it first hand. 

But they were finally in the air and he was somewhat calmer, although the occasional noise or sensation would make him jump even if it was just from one of the boys. Luckily for him he managed to fall asleep an hour into the flight, having finally relaxed enough that he wasn’t on edge, every noise sending a spike of adrenaline through him. 

He would’ve like to sleep for the whole flight but alas it wasn’t to be and it was all Isaac’s fault. He couldn’t really be pissed at him as Isaac had woken him up for lunch, but still. 

The boys had all become rather rowdy while he’d been asleep, apparently all of them had woken up enough to be ready to cause chaos. He could hear some of them messing around in the back, playing games on someone's Switch, there was a card game happening up front, a very intense debate was underway somewhere, and Roy and Beard were both sat reading. It all felt so normal, minus being unnaturally high in the sky. 

“I swear to God, if there’s any turbulence I’m going to die on the spot,” Colin grumbled, “and it’ll be your fault for waking me up.” 

“Once you’ve eaten you’ll be less grumpy.” Isaac told him, completely ignoring the hollow threat. 

“I’m fine without food, would rather be sleeping.” 

“No you wouldn’t, if I’d let you sleep through you’d be hangry and that would be worse, we all know it.” Colin huffed because he knew Isaac was right, didn’t mean he was happy about it. 

Colin knew he was lucky as he always flew 1st Class meaning he actually got good food on board but even then it was nothing compared to the grub when you flew private, it was fucking insane. So yeah, maybe he was a little bit happy Isaac woke him up, but he’d never tell him that, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. 

Once food service was done and everything had been cleared away Jamie plopped down in the seat in front of him, kneeling on it so he would hang over the back. “Hey, so, quick question, what’s the name of that film, with the dudes who go on that adventure?” 

“That’s a really vague description Jamie, it could be like a hundred different films.”

“Yeah, I know that Colin, it’s why I’m asking ‘cause I don’t remember so I can’t be more specific.” 

“Could you at least give us a vague idea of where it’s set?” Isaac asked. 

“It’s not set in our world. Uh, they’ve got to go and like, do a quest.” 

“Star Wars?” Isaac offered.

“Nah, if it were Star Wars I’d remember.” Jamie scoffed, “It’s based on a book.” 

“The Hobbit?” Colin asked.

“Nope, but it is fantasy.” 

“Lord of the Rings?” Was Colin’s second offer. 

“Again, I’d know if it were Lord of the Rings.” 

“Eragon?” 

“Yes Isaac! Thank you!” 

“How did you figure that out? It was such a vague description.” 

“I know what Jamie’s like, don’t I?” 

Jamie nodded, “He really does. That’s why he's me best friend.”

“Excuse me,” Colin scoffed, “Get your own best mate, Tartt.” 

“Isaac can have two best mates. You need to learn to share!” 

“I’m not sharing my best mate with you. Find your own person to be attached at the hip with.” 

“First, I love how self aware you are. Second, we’re like the ultimate trio, we’re iconic.” 

Colin groaned, “Fine, you’ve got a point. But you’re not getting in on the friendship bracelets.” 

Jamie scoffed, “Why would I want a friendship bracelet, that’s fucking lame, we’re adults. What whole arse adult would do that?” 

Isaac and Colin both glared at Jamie, Isaac lifted his right wrist whilst Colin raised his left in perfect unison, both adorned with a woven bracelet, “They’re on our dominant hands.” Colin told him.

“Yeah, symbolism, innit.” 

“Okay, yeah, that makes sense. It’s lame for everyone but you.” It wasn’t even a backtrack, Jamie meant it because upon second thought it did make sense, “What would be lame was if you had those best friend necklaces that were two halves of a heart.” 

Yet again, in perfect unison Colin and Isaac revealed the aforementioned necklaces. 

Jamie just nodded, “Let me guess you got them from fucking Claire’s?” Colin and Isaac both nodded, yet again in perfect unison , “You’re being freaky now, bye.” Jamie got up and headed to the front of the plane, sitting down next to Roy so he could annoy him. 

“Aw, friend, football friend.” Colin said, both thumbs up, a perfect impression of The Inbetweeners.

After that it was a pretty uneventful flight, Colin and Isaac watched a film together and then went and joined some of the boys who were chatting about the newest season of Lust Conquers All. 

Colin was distracted enough that he forgot he was in a flying death trap (or at least he called it a flying death trap, multiple members of the team had tried to explain how safe planes were to him but he still didn’t believe them). 

In no time at all they were all returning to their seats and getting ready to land. 

Landing was Colin’s favourite bit, a controlled descent until he was safe on the ground again relaxed him. 

And then they were walking down the steps and onto solid ground, Colin’s shoulders finally relaxing. 

They flew through passport control and went through baggage collection. Within half an hour they’d made it onto the coach and were heading to their first hotel where they were scheduled to meet Ted who’d travelled from Kansas as he’d spent the beginning of the off-season with his family.

They all got to the training ground at seven the following morning. Although they’d usually arrive at Nelson Road between eight and eleven to see physio and do ice baths and what not, being at their temporary American facility meant they skipped that part of their morning so they could finish training before the day was at its hottest, instead doing it afterwards.

All in all it was just like home, there was no deviation from their usual training regime, the only big differences being the reshuffle and the heat, because someone thought it’d be a great idea to do this tour in the middle of July. 

They didn’t actually have any other option as the off-season fell in summer, but still, it was fucking hot, even if they did try and schedule their sessions around the heat. 

The nice thing about not having to train in the afternoon was the fact that the boys were able to make the most of being overseas. They’d often go and relax in the pool or head out and explore the local area once they’d finished training. 

Colin was lying under an umbrella by the pool, reading, whilst some of the boys were having a swim. 

“Oi, Colin,” Isaac said as he leant his arms on the side of the pool, looking up at his mate from his position in the water, “come and join us.”

“I don’t want to burn.”

“Put some factor fifty on bruv.” 

“Isaac, look at how pale I am, do you really think factor fifty is enough?” 

“Five minutes man, you’ll be fine.” Isaac really wanted his mate to join him, “You can cool off in the water and then go back to your book.” 

“I’m fine, really. I’m going to burn on the pitch anyway, I don’t want to give the sun a head start.” A slither of sun hit his toes so he pulled his feet back so they were in the shade again. 

“Alright, but you’re missing out on all the fun.” Isaac pushed himself off of the wall and back into the water. 

Colin turned to Goodman who was next to him, also hiding from the sun, “They don’t realise how lucky they've got it, one second in the sun and we’re burnt to a crisp.”

“We’re practically vampires.” Jeff joked. 

“Vampires who suck, no pun intended,” They both laughed, “we can’t even turn into bats, just get sizzled to a crisp.” 

“See this is why I prefer autumn and winter, I don’t have to worry about burning, unless I’m skiing.” 

“How do you burn whilst skiing?” Colin had never been skiing, he assumed it would be impossible to get burnt in the middle of winter. 

“If it’s a sunny day it reflects off of the snow, Piz Buin is your best friend up there.” 

“You any good at skiing?” 

“Yeah, been doing it since I was a kid. If I wasn’t a footballer I’d be a skier.” 

“Fuck, you’re Olympic material?” Colin wasn’t close with Jeff but they’d shared a locker room for years so he’d thought he’d known everything about the man, apparently he didn’t.

“Yeah, but I would’ve been more of an X Games guy.” 

“That’s the really intense ones with all the tricks and shit, right?” 

Jeff nodded, “I can do flips.” 

Colin let out an impressed whistle, “I thought you meant like slalom and that, not fucking tricks.” 

“Hey, weirdos!” Jamie yelled from the pool, “Get in here!” 

“Fuck off Jamie.” Colin called back, only to get death glares from a mother who was with her kid in the pool. 

“Are you seriously wearing those?” Colin asked as Jamie shoved some Mickey ears on his head.

“Obviously.”

“Don’t you think you’ll look like a bit of a wanker?” 

“Fuck off Col, I look like a legend. Come on lad, we’re at Disney, embrace your inner child!” Jamie grabbed a pair, “Look, they’ve got gay ones!” Jamie whispered, fully aware of Colin’s sexuality. 

It’d been stressful having Jamie in the dressing room when he’d first arrived on loan, and then when he came back the stress returned with him, terrified he’d find the truth and use it to ruin him. But one night whilst Jamie and Isaac were around playing video games Colin decided to come out to them. He trusted both of them and knew they’d keep it a secret (Isaac may have been shit at keeping his own secrets but when it came to Colin he was able to keep his lips sealed) so he was able to open up, feeling relieved that his two closest mates finally knew him in full. 

“Just because they’re gay doesn’t me- Okay actually those are really cool, hand them over.” Look Colin wasn’t a gay stereotype, he was a closeted professional footballer for pete sake, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy some tacky pride merch if he wanted to, especially when it was as subtle as some rainbow Mickey ears that would raise, like, zero suspicion (Come on, it was Disney, no one was going to question the king of tacky fashion wearing rainbow ears). 

“We should get these ones for Isaac,” Jamie said, passing Colin another pair.

“Oh he’s going to hate that. Let’s do it!” They paid and then headed outside to where some of the boys were waiting for them, “Isaac, we got you a gift.” 

Jamie pulled the ears out from behind his back, “Ta-da” 

Isaac glared at the ears for a second before slowly taking them and putting them on his head, giving them a nod of approval. 

Of course the three of them had to take a photo in front of the castle with their ears on, they’d earnt the right to be annoying tourists so of course they were going to indulge in it, cringe was dead as far as they were concerned.  

They ran wild around the park until closing, making the most of their afternoon in the park. They were coming back the following day but they were going to Animal Kingdom, and Epcot the day after that so they had to make the most of each park that they visited. 

“We should go urban exploring!” Jamie proposed on their Epcot day. The three of them were leaving their hotel and heading to the bus that would take them to the park when Jamie brought it up.

“Where would we go?” Colin asked.

“There’s a bunch of abandoned attractions in one of the Epcot pavilions, loads of people sneak back there, it's easy.”

“And super illegal.” Isaac pointed out. 

“Oh come on, where’s your sense of adventure?” 

“As your Captain it is my responsibility to make sure you don’t do anything stupid that could jeopardise this tour or get you arrested.” 

“Boo, you’re no fun. Colin?” 

“I’m with Isaac on this one.”

“Come on lad, be gay do crime!” 

“Jamie this is dangerous and insanely illegal, I mean come on, it’s Disney boyo, they could make us disappear just like that and nobody would be able to find us ever again.” 

“Yeah, the rat would murder us and hide our bodies in Pirates of the Caribbean.” 

“And if he didn’t then Roy would.” 

Jamie groaned, “Fine, but I’m not happy about it.” 

Isaac shrugged, “Yeah, that’s fine by me.” 

“In that case we’re trying all of the drinks at the different, like, countries things they’ve got.” Jamie told them.

“I’m up for that.” Isaac nodded, satisfied now that Jamie had moved away from committing a crime and instead moved on to getting sloshed. 

“They have an English pub, we should eat there!” 

“Colin, Colin, Colin,” Jamie tutted, “We’ve just left England, a country you hate, and you want to go eat there?” 

“Yeah, I want to see how inaccurate the food is.” 

As they’d arrived just after two they headed straight to the pub for food, they had a look at the menu outside. 

“If it’s accurate we eat somewhere else, agreed?” Isaac said, the both of them nodded. 

“You know this ain’t too bad.” Jamie said, “Main issue is this Shepards Pie, that ain’t a Shepard Pie at all.” 

Colin looked over at it, “Fucking slander, that’s cottage not shepard.” 

“What do they mean by ‘Imperial’ pint, that’s not a British thing.” 

“Specifying what measuring system they’re using I guess.” Isaac shrugged, “Oh shit, they’ve got Pimms!”

“Do you wanna slip in for a cheeky Pimms?” Isaac nodded, “Jamie?” Another nod.

The three of them headed in and grabbed a table. Isaac walked over to the bar to grab the drinks. 

“Hiya, what can I get for you?” The bartender asked. 

“Can I get three Pimms please.” 

“Sure things.” She grabbed glasses and began to cut fruit, “I love your accent by the way, you Australian?” 

“Nah, British.” He answered, “Well I am and the guy with the dyed hair is, our other mate technically is but he’d hate me for saying it, that’s why it’s ‘technically’.” She looked at him a bit confused, “He’s Welsh and really passionate about independence so refuses to be called British.” 

“Ah, right. Well it’s cool to have some Brits in our little British pub. You guys ordering food?” 

“We were thinking about it but I think we’re going to opt for somewhere else.” 

“So authentic it won’t feel like you're away?” 

Isaac pulled a face and wobbled his hand back and forth, “It looks pretty similar other than the Shepards Pie, boys are pissed as it’s been mislabeled, it’s actually Cottage Pie.” 

“Ah, right.” She decided to change the subject as she put the fruits in the glasses with ice, “What brings you to America?” 

“We’re here for work, we’re footballers so doing a tour and playing a few friendly matches.” 

“I’m assuming you mean soccer?” 

Isaac held back a sigh and just nodded, “Yeah, what you guys call soccer.” 

She handed the drinks over and gave him his total, “That sounds really cool,” Isaac paid, “Have fun.” 

“Thanks.” Isaac took the glasses, balancing all three in a triangle. “Here we go boys.” He put the glasses down and sat.

Once they’d had their drinks they headed back out to explore. 

As they walked along Jamie spotted an unlabeled pavilion down an empty path, “Oi, lads, are you sure I can’t convince you to go urban exploring, it’s literally right up there.” 

“No.” They responded in unison. 

“Someone literally stole a whole animatronic from back there, it’s so cool!” 

“Even more reason not to go, you two are high profile enough that you’re noticeable, they’ve probably upped security if there’s been a major theft and neither of you are subtle.” Colin said. 

“You’re high profile too.” Jamie told him, “Your presence would also be mad noticeable.”

“Nah I’m not, it’s fine though. Nice having anonymity.” Colin just shrugged, trying to come across as unphased. 

“Bullshit bruv.” 

“You’ve both been stopped for photos, I’ve been asked to take them.” 

“Yeah, well…” Jamie couldn’t come up with an answer to that. 

Isaac just nodded and gave Colin’s shoulder a squeeze, “The chances of anyone recognising the other boys is slim to none as well, it’s just ‘cause Jamie’s ex-city and I’m captain.” 

“It’s like I said, I don’t care, you don’t need to come up with some bullshit to comfort me, I’m honestly fine.” He waved them off as they continued on, leaving the ex-wonders of life pavilion and all discussions of trespassing behind. 

Isaac and Jamie both wanted to say something but Colin clearly didn’t want to continue the conversation so they left it. 

They yet again stayed as late as possible, riding all the rides, eating as much as possible, and staying for the fireworks, before they headed back to their hotel. 

It was a quiet night in for the boys, the Lust Conquers All watchers had gathered in Thierry and Richards room to watch it on a laptop. Richard had a VPN so they’d been able to grab it on catch up and enjoy the episode from the night before. 

“You know what would make this better?” Jamie said, “If every single contestant were like bi or pan, then there’d be room for even more drama, wouldn't just be guys and girls pairing up, it’d be everyone. It’d be immense.” 

It looked like a few of the guys were going to say something but Isaac knew exactly where it was going so shut it down, “We ain’t fetishising anyone’s sexuality, got it?” 

A grumble of agreement went around the group, Isaac having caught them out before they’d even opened their mouths. Although he couldn’t say anything Colin was thankful Isaac had shut the comments down and Isaac knew it. 

“You know when I got back from the Villa me agent got me an acting agent, yeah, and she asked if I’d want to go stay in a villa with some other celebs and just do ecstasy for three weeks.” 

“You should’ve said yes.” Colin told him. 

“And not come back to Richmond?” 

“Look as much as I love having you back, watching you off your tits on drugs would’ve been fucking hilarious.” 

“I think you’d do great on Big Brother.” Arlo said. 

“It’s seven o’nine in the big brother house.” Jeff began to do an impression of the Big Brother voice, “Jamie is currently in the hot tub with Gemma.” 

“I’m claustrophobic Darren!” Colin yelled. 

“I don’t need the money,” Jamie joined in, “Do you think these beeps are gonna pay my mortgage? I’ve got money!”

“They don’t get it, I’m claustrophobic!” Arlo tried to hold back a laugh.  

“I do not know what is happening but I do not like it.” Sam said, watching on. 

“Wait, have you never seen Gemma Collins on Big Brother?” Arlo asked. 

“No, I am not familiar.” 

“Oh my god Sam, it’s literally the most iconic bit of British media ever!” 

“David’s dead is also iconic, we can’t forget that.” Colin added. 

“Someone bring up a Best Of Celebrity Big Brother Season Seventeen video now.” Jamie commanded, already grabbing the laptop. From there it evolved into a night of YouTube videos full of iconic British TV moments after it became apparent that not everyone had been exposed to the wild chaos that was British telly. 

“So this one is from a show called The Undateables, it’s like Love On The Spectrum, but because it’s English the title is fucked.” Jamie explained as he hit play. 

When they got to the iconic quote everyone who knew it recited it along with the clip, “Well Alice, it seems we’ve both got autism haven’t we. Well that’s good to know.” Getting the intonation perfect and all. 

This ended up going on for quite a while; the man putting a whole whisk in his mouth, baked alaska gate, what a sad little life Jane, fish and a rice cake, all the great ones were there. 

“Why yous laughing for, wha-, Chris, why ya laughing for,” Jamie put on his best Liverpudlian accent, “Why you laughing for, I’m being serious, I’m being serious. No you see, nah you see, I’m talkin’ facts here, I don’t do if, buts, and maybe’s, I do absolutes, and you know like, if your aunt had balls she’d be your uncle, but she doesn’t so she’s not, do ya- do ya know what I’m trying to say?” 

“How do you know the whole thing?” Colin asked, a little bit in awe of Jamie’s ability to remember the whole Liverpool meme.

“‘Cause I’m a legend, ain’t I?” 

Unfortunately curfew came sooner than they would’ve liked and they had to leave their deep dive into British memes for the night. 

The group began to meander back to their assigned rooms, chatting away about the following day. 

It was a really hot, sunny day, so it was looking like it’d be a gruelling match. 

Colin and Goodman were huddled together in a corner sharing a bottle of factor 50 sun cream (Jeff had brought a shit ton of Piz Buin with him, so the two of them were putting as much on as physically possible) whilst everyone else got their kit on. 

At some point Anders came over and nicked some as well, “Anyone else need cream?” Jeff called out once the three of them were done. 

A few people came over and took some before they all finished getting ready, Colin and Jeff being the last to finish as they’d spent so long doing sun cream. 

“Well now that the vampires are done I think we’re all ready.” Jamie said, poking fun at Jeff and Colin. 

“Fuck off Jamie, he’s ginger and I’ve got fragile skin, we’re not blessed with the ability to tan like you are.” 

Jamie just stuck his tongue out at Colin who flipped him off in return. 

“Well, this is it boys, our first match in America, y’all excited?” Ted got a round of cheers from the team, “I want y’all to go out there and have fun, we’ve played Brentford before and won, even if it was a little while ago, the only difference is this is a pitch neither of us are familiar with, we’re on an even playing field, if you’ll pardon the pun. There’s no league, no points, nothing to worry about, let’s just focus on giving these folks a good time and showing them what real football’s about.” A new thought hit Ted, “Oh, and the chants might be different to what you're expecting, this lot probably won’t yell mean things at y’all and I doubt they know your normal chants, so don’t expect anything familiar.” 

“Well at least the Brentford fans won’t call me a sheep shagger for once.” Colin joked. 

“Nah, we'll just do that ourselves.” Jamie sent him a cheeky wink. 

“Ain’t no one calling no one a sheep shagger, alright.” Ted said. Jamie rolled his eyes at him but it was all in jest, “Now circle up, it’s time to kick some butts.”

“Hey coach, why were they singing about barbecue sauce?” Sam asked during half time. 

“Well Sam, that’s just one of the chants we have over here.” 

“There’s a lot of call and response as well, like did that weird anyone else out?” Moe said. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.” Colin readjusted his sock as he spoke. 

“Again, just how they do it out here. I found it weird when y’all just instinctively knew the chants. What’s that about?” 

“It just kinda happens.” Jamie shrugged, “No one questions it, we all just know.” 

“Yes, and they are very easy to pick up on, like; Arlo Dixon, Colin, Colin, Goodman,” Sam began singing to the tune of Super Trooper by ABBA , most of the team groaning, a few joining in, “Playing to excite, scoring goals all night,” Isaac pulled Colin into a headlock as he joined in, “Making Championship look shite.” As they went in for the repeat everyone got progressively more boisterous, “ARLO DIXON, COLIN, COLIN, GOODMAN, PLAYIN-”

“OI, SHUT IT!” Roy yelled, silencing everyone immediately.

“Thanks Roy. As lovely as that was, we've still got a second half to play. We’re doing real well, one goal up, but that don’t mean we can relax. Beard-o, what we looking at?” 

“Brentford are coming in strong on the defence, we need to keep pushing through if we intend to score more goals. Keep pushing forward, muscle your way through their back lines and utilise any gaps you find. Defence keep it up, keep on that ball but don’t abandon Zoreaux. Midfield, we need support for the forwards, help them make space for Jamie and Dani. Richard, good work on the dives but you’ve reached your limit for this match, we trust the rest of you to know if we need extra time but be careful and don’t do it too often. Clear?” 

He got a loud “Yes coach!” From the whole team. 

The whole team headed back out, their play hadn’t really changed, Beard had essentially reiterated what had been discussed before kick off so they already knew what they were doing and had adjusted to Brentford. 

The second half was tense, Brentford managed to score and they only had fifteen minutes left. 

Technically Colin had been banned from dives, you take one dive a little too far and get a minor injury and suddenly you’re “health comes first” and “banned from dives unless it’s an emergency” which sucked because he loved a good dive, but he deemed this an emergency and he was in the perfect position. 

Colin had the ball and one of Brentford's players was coming at him, the man slid to get the ball away so Colin manoeuvred his foot so it’d take him out. Sure he was supposed to fake it but if he took a genuine hit he could get this guy a yellow card which was perfect. So yeah, he put himself in the line of fire. Was it stupid? Yes. Was he doing it anyway? Also yes. 

His foot was in the perfect position and suddenly a foot connected with him, sending him to the floor, his knees gave out under him and he rolled along the floor a few times. Okay so that actually hurt quite a bit, but hey if he needed actual attention from physio he’d get them even more extra time, which gave them a better chance at scoring. 

Suddenly the Brentford player was above him, “You alright mate?”

“Fucking sore man but doing alright, thanks.” He was helped up into a sitting position, and then he saw the ref walking over and pulling a yellow card. Colin felt a little bit bad about getting the guy booked as he was a decent fella, but still, he’d done what he needed to. 

“Oi, you good?” Isaac asked, appearing in front of him. 

Colin lent forward to check on his leg, it looked fine, it just hurt like a bitch, “I’m alive.” He joked. 

“Not helpful, bruv. You need physio?” Colin nodded and then Isaac waved the team down. 

“Alright Gavin,” He greeted the head physio, “Krissy. You guys good?” 

“Yeah all good mate.” Gavin replied. 

“Weather fucking sucks but other than that, good.” Krissy told him. 

“You and me both.” He chuckled. 

“Alright, focus on me now matey.” Gavin told him, “Speak to me, what’s wrong.” 

“Right calf muscle hurts like a bitch.” Gavin rolled Colin’s sock down.

“Good thing you’re a lefty.” He joked as he checked out the other man’s leg. 

He saw Moe appear behind Gavin and open the other man’s bag, pulling a drink out, Sam appearing and doing the same, “Oi, you two gonna share?” He asked. Moe handed his bottle over once he was done.

The both of them disappeared once more to go talk to Jan. 

“There we go, you ready to stand so we can get you off the pitch?” Gavin asked, Colin nodded so he and Krissy helped him to his feet. He wandered off of the pitch unassisted, nice thing about being in the States was that no one hurled abuse at him for that, weird but nice. 

The match resumed, “You good to go back?” Krissy asked. 

Colin jumped up and down a few times before nodding, “Yep, all good.” 

“Get out there kid.” Gavin patted him on the back and then Colin ran back onto the pitch and into the fray. 

In the end they got five minutes added time in which Sam was able to score, bringing the score up to 2-1 Richmond, a score that got them the win they wanted. 

As was customary they did a lap of the pitch, applauding the fans before disappearing back into the tunnel. 

“That better not’ve been a dive Hughes.” Roy growled as soon as they were back in the dressing room.

“Psh, no.” Colin lied. 

“Fuck sake,” Roy groaned, “One rule, you don’t fucking dive you little prick.” 

“Sorry Roy but we needed it and I was in the perfect position.” 

“There were fifteen fucking minutes left.” 

“Hey now Roy, he ain’t hurt so leave it be.” Ted told him, doing his best to diffuse the situation .

“I’m keeping an eye on you. Do that again and I’m breaking your fucking knee caps.” 

The next day was a travel day, the team heading onwards to Atlanta. 

Moe, Jamie, Isaac, and Colin were sat at one of the four man table seats, Jamie had brought some old football top trumps with him so the four of them were sat around playing.

Colin sat analysing his card before finally settling on one, “Goals forty eight.” He put his card down in the middle of the table, it was Wayne Rooney. 

“Goals twenty nine.” Isaac placed Sergio Agüero with Rooney on the table.

“Goals zero.” Jamie placed Thibaut Courtois on the pile. 

“Seventeen.” Finally Gareth Bale joined the others.

Colin gathered up the pile, looking smug as anything, “Ah Wayne, what a man. Plus I’ve got Gareth now.”

“Of course you’d love Gareth.” Jamie complained. 

“Fuck off, he’s a lovely guy, I love playing with him.” 

“Here we go, ‘I’m Colin Hughes, I keep getting called up for the Welsh national team. I played at the World Cup’” Jamie mocked, Colin knew it was all a joke though, Jamie was actually extremely supportive of the fact that Colin had been able to play in both the Euros and the World Cup. 

“Don’t forget that he was the only Richmond player on a national team for that particular event.” Moe joined in on the joke. 

Colin did enjoy the jokes, it was a reminder of how supportive the boys had been but it was still a bit awkward as he felt like other players on the team deserved to play for their countries in such prestigious events more than he did. Besides he’d only played an hour in total, but that’d been the best hour of his career (well, combination of substitutions that added up to an hour, he’d yet to start for Wales). 

“Oh come on now, it’s not like I’m anything special, I’m just from a tiny country’s all.” He tried to brush it off. 

“Yeah, no, there are still loads more players that qualify for Wales than there are spots on the national team so you can shut up with all your self deprecating bullshit.” Isaac told him. 

“But-” Isaac shoved a hand over Colin’s mouth so he couldn’t argue.

“You scored a goal at the World Cup so shut your stupid mouth.” Colin licked Isaac’s hand in retaliation, unfortunately for him he and Isaac were so close that it didn’t gross his mate out meaning Isaac’s hand remind firmly over his mouth, “You did really fucking good, yeah?” Isaac didn’t get any kind of response, “I’m not removing my hand until you give me some form of acknowledgement. You scored a goal at the fucking World Cup, that’s insane and the mark of you being a great footballer.” A muffled protest came from behind Isaac’s hand, “Colin,” He warned, “I’m not losing this.” Colin rolled his eyes before nodding, Isaac removed his hand, “What do we say?” 

“The fact that I scored a goal at the World Cup is nuts and proof that I’m a decent footballer.” All three of them glared at him, he let out a reluctant sigh/groan, “Proof that I’m a good footballer.” They kept glaring, he let out a lacklustre, “Great footballer.” 

“Much better, well done.” Isaac praised. 

Colin just rolled his eyes, “Jamie, it’s your turn.” 

“Colin, hey.” Keeley greeted, coming to sit next to him at the poolside bar.

“Hey Keeley, you good?” 

“Yeah, you?” 

“Yeah, real good. Want a drink?” 

“Oh go on then, why not.” Colin flagged down the bartender, “Can I get a mojito please?”

“Make that two. Thanks matey.” Colin turned back to Keeley, “Why do I feel like you’re here on business?” 

“That’s because I am.” She pulled an apologetic face, “It’s nothing bad though babe, promise. I want to get some content for the app, and I was thinking I could get some of you to do, like, a fun little interview together. It’ll be you, Moe, and Sam if you’re up for it.” 

The bartender put their drinks down and they both thanked him before going back to business. 

“When you say ‘fun little interview’…?” 

“It wouldn’t be serious questions, Moe’s writing them as he’s hosting but he’s been told to make them silly, and there’d be a little fan Q&A.” Keeley explained, “Please say you’ll do it, you’d be so good!” 

Colin took a long sip of his drink, “Yeah, alright, how bad could it be.” 

Sam, Bumbercatch, and Colin all walked through the hotel “Life is like a game of poker, gotta gamble sometimes.” Colin noted absentmindedly as they walked past some people gambling.

“Damn that’s deep.” Moe said, “Can that be my daily wisdom?” 

Colin shrugged, “Sure, go for it boyo.” 

Moe pulled out his phone and began to put something together for his instagram story. 

“Anyone else bricking it?” Colin asked.

“No,” Moe didn’t look up from his phone, “It’s shits and gigs, nothing to be stressed about.” 

“Yes, it will be good fun, nothing to worry about.” Sam added. 

They eventually got to the room and knocked on the door. Keeley answered immediately, “Hiya, don’t you look smart?” 

“Thanks?” Colin wasn’t sure why it was noteworthy, the three of them were in their training kits and had come straight from that morning’s training session, if anything they all looked equally dishevelled. 

“Okay, let’s get you mic'd up.” It didn’t take them long to get sorted, “Alright, we’re going to start rolling whilst you get settled, we want it to feel really natural.” 

The three of them sat on the sofa, “You nicked the best seat in the house!” Moe complained as Colin got settled on the right hand side of the sofa, relegating Moe to the left. 

“Rock, Paper, Scissors for it.” Sam told them as they all got comfortable. 

“No way.” Colin really didn’t want to, he was content where he was. 

“No, let’s do it.” Moe raised his hand, ready to play, balancing the iPad he had on his knees. 

“You two can play, I’m chill with it.” Colin said, not wanting to risk losing his spot. Of course the only reason to play was so Moe could swap seats so in the end the match didn’t go ahead. 

With the seating debate settled Moe got cracking, he looked directly into the camera as he began to address the audience, “Hi guys, I’m Moe Bumbercatch. I’m here with our dynamic right winger Sam Obisanya, and yo- who are you?” He jokingly asked Colin, considering how much he and the boys enjoyed fucking with Colin it made sense for him to poke fun at the other man, it was a candid or something, “Colin?” 

“Yes.” Colin said, trying not to crack a smile.

“Colin Hughes, I’m here with Colin Hughes. And we’re just gonna chat about the tour and stuff like that. So how’s it been so far?” 

“Going well, going well.” Sam replied, “The weather is lovely, getting some work in, so it is going well.”

“How have you found the heat?” 

“I’m struggling.” Colin butted in, he really had been, he was pretty sure he was more suncream than man at this point, sweaty having become a permanent state. 

“Yes, it has been tough,” Sam picked up where he left off, “Training has been tough, but I think it is going to stand us in good stead for what is to come.” 

“Very professional.” Colin said, clearly in the mood to be unprofessional, it was supposed to be a silly interview so why work had been brought up was beyond Colin. 

“Less about the tour, more about Lust Conquers All.” This was way more up Colin’s alley, he had big feelings about Lust Conquers All and he knew Sam did too, “Obviously there’s a big group of boys that watch Lust Conquers All. I don’t, but we need you to pick three contestants from our squad, and tell me why they’d be good. You can’t choose Jamie though as he’s already been on the show” 

Colin and Sam began to think about it, this was a very serious question, one that was not to be taken lightly. 

“That is a tough one.” Sam said, lost in thought.

“That is a tough one.” Colin agreed, scratching his chin. “For me I think Isaac.” 

Moe proceeded to follow up on that, reminding Colin of the second half of the question, “Why’s that?”

“Uhm…” Colin’s brain began to buffer, trying to figure out why Isaac was his choice, saying his name had been on impulse, he knew he was right though, he just didn’t know why. 

“Is it the glasses?” Sam asked.

“Oh yeah!”

Colin nodded, “Yeah, got to be the glasses.” 

“It’s got to be.” Moe added on, backing up the point.

“Yeah, the glasses play a big part.” There were probably more reasons but Colin was happy to stick with that. “Yeah, how he is around the place, I think he’d fit in well in the Villa.” 

“I am gonna stick Tom in there I think,” Sam said, yes the man was a bit weird but seeing him on reality tv would be a laugh and a half. 

“Why?” Moe asked. 

“I think he has got a good energy and I think he could be a little bit controversial at times as well. Brings the TV viewers, doesn’t it? Very Tom.”

“Moe, have you got anyone? I know you don’t watch it but anyone you think would be good in a villa full of people?” Colin knew Moe would have an answer locked and loaded, the man may not watch the show but Colin would bet good money that he understood it perfectly. 

Moe thought for a second, “Tommy. Tall, just tall. Good guy, got a bit of chat.” 

“Bring a bit of chill as well, won’t he.” Sam agreed, Tommy was great, always on pure vibes. 

“Chill vibes.” Moe added.

“That’s a good shout.” Colin nodded along.

“Good three going in?” Moe asked, the other two confirmed it, answers locked in. “We’ll send them in this evening. Now we‘re going to ask a few fan questions to the boys that were asked on Instagram earlier.” Moe began to laugh as he read off of the iPad, which could only spell disaster, “Colin, if you were a vegetable, what type of vegetable would you be?” Well that was a question, and weird that it’d been directed at Colin. 

“Oh jesus,” Colin chuckled a bit as he thought, he’d never considered it before, seemed like a weird thing to think about without being prompted, “Uhm,”

“I’m sweating.” Moe laughed as he used his forearm to wipe sweat from his forehead, the others laughing at him. 

“Uh, that’s a very difficult question Moe,” Colin said, getting them back on topic, “If I was a vegetable…” Moe snorted, causing the others to laugh again. 

As they weren’t getting anywhere he moved onto the next question, “Okay, who in the squad would ruin the vibe when given the aux cord?”

“I think Jan.” Colin said after a second, “I think that Dutch music,” Sam nodded along vigorously, “I don’t think, yeah, I don’t think that would be the best, I don’t think a few of the boys would be happy if he was to, uh, jump on the aux and start playing that.” So he hadn’t phrased it in the clearest way but he got the point across, Jan was always playing weird music, he was pretty sure the only people who appreciated it were Beard and Moe. 

“Yeah, Jan.” Sam agreed.

“Okay,” Moe carried on to the next question, “Which member of the squad spends the most time on their hair? That’s a standard question, and the answer’s always Jamie.”

Colin laughed whilst Sam said, “It’s always Jamie, I tell you what Richard is up there as well.” 

“Oh yeah, that’s a good shout.” Colin added.

“I’d stick him in Lust Conquers All as well.” Moe said as the thought hit him. 

“He’s gone under the radar a bit there.” Sam nodded along, agreeing with Colin on that one. How the hell had they forgotten Richard? He was the epitome of Lust Conquers All and spent fucking ages on his hair, not as much as Mr. ‘It’s Walnut Mist’ but a shit ton regardless. 

“Richard and Jamie for the hair.” Moe confirmed. 

The heat was really getting to Colin so he wiped his face with his arm, “I’m sweating.”

“Yeah, so am I.” Moe laughed.

“You not got the aircon on over there?” Colin asked, looking to Keeley off camera.

“It’s on babe, sorry.” Keeley answered. Well fuck, they were just going to have to suffer for god knows how much longer. 

“Which stadium are you most looking forward to playing at this season?” 

“Uhm, I always like the Emirates stadium.” Sam said almost immediately, “Nice place to go, uh, big changing rooms, lovely pitch, under the lights, it will be lovely.” 

“Nice. Colin?”

“Uh, quite like playing at St. James’ Park, played there once before, the atmosphere was good. Think that the big away stand as well, yeah, I think St. James’ Park would be the one for me.”

“Sam.” Moe huffed out a small laugh, “Who has the better left foot Moe or Colin?” 

Sam sat there in silence for a moment trying to figure out what to say, he knew it was a jokey question and that the fan was trying to pit them against each other as a laugh but he still didn’t want to offend either of them, in the end Colin spoke instead, saving Sam’s arse, “He can’t fight you, he’s too small. So be honest.” 

“I’m going with Colin actually” Moe said before looking directly at the camera, “Moving on! Moe, what are you reading? I’m reading a book. Okay. Colin, what do you think about the chant of you, Arlo, and Jeff?”

“I really like it, I think it goes well with the tune.” Colin answered, he really did love the chant, it was a good one.  

“How does it go?” Sam asked, knowing full well how it went, considering he was guilty of instigating it in the dressing room multiple times. 

“Yeah Sam’s really good at singing it.” The three of them laughed.

“Please sing it!” Moe prompted.

Colin had a cheeky grin on his face “He seems to be the one in the changing room who sings it, so, uh… If you two know it I’d like to hear it again.” 

“I am sure the backing track can come in.” Sam said, getting a little shy now that he was having to do it on camera, historically not having the best singing voice (not that it was actually sung, but still).

“Finally.” Moe said, beginning to wrap the video up, “This one’s just to Colin. On my instagram, I like to do a thing called Daily Wisdom. As we were walking over here you did give me a little bit of daily wisdom. Have you got anything for the fans?” Moe pointed his thumb at the camera as Colin tried to hide a smile behind his hand. 

“I think the daily wisdom is more your area Moe, but if you want something from me, I think it’d be,” He had to think about it for a second, coming up with something new, “If you’re gonna get in trouble, don’t get caught.” 

“Jesus christ, thank you very much.” Moe laughed as he switched the iPad off. “And just going back to it, I’d just like to re, re, re, uh, circle back, Any vegetables you’d like to be?” 

Sam shook his head, “I can not think of one.”

“Never really thought about it.” Colin told him.

“Carnivores are we?” 

“You being the host, have you ever thought of-” 

“Potato.” Moe said immediately, cutting Colin off, no need to think at all.

“Potato?” Sam questioned. 

“Potato.” Both Sam and Colin repeated back at him. 

“I feel a bit like a potato.” 

“Ah, nice.” Was Colin’s only answer to that. 

Moe leaned forward and directly addressed the camera, “Thanks for joining us in the world's hottest bedroom, I’m Moe, this is Sam, and this is Colin, ciao.” 

“Perfect.” Moe stood and chucked his phone onto the sofa, only for it to land face down and perfectly balanced on Sam’s forearm. Sam chucked the phone up with his arm and then caught it perfectly with the hand on that same arm.

They played against Fulham in Atlanta, Isaac and Moe’s old team, a few of their old team mates remained on the squad and as both teams had suffered relegation and then been promoted again at the same time there was a bit of a friendly rivalry between them. 

“Who’s ready to take on The Whites?” The whole team cringed, Fulham’s nickname was rather unfortunate but none of the attempted changes really caught on. Ted sighed, “After all this time you’d think I’d stop calling them by their nickname, it never gets better. Anyway, match two of three, let’s bag ourselves another win!” 

Colin hadn’t thought it was possible but the Atlanta heat was even worse than Florida, he’d never been more thankful for the water bottles at the side of the pitch. 

He played for the full ninety and didn’t take any dives (he really wanted to keep his knee caps intact thank you very much). 

They’d ended up winning again, with Moe scoring a goal against his old club, and yet again no abuse hurled at him by the Fulham fans (It’s not that Colin liked people yelling mean shit but they’d all become so used to it that it was weird when it wasn’t there). 

“Hey, am I burnt?” Colin asked the room as he removed his top. 

He got a unanimous “Yes” From the whole room. 

“I’ve got aloe.” Jeff chucked a bottle of the green goo across the room.

“Thanks boyo.” He headed off and had a shower before returning and covering himself in the aloe vera. “Ew, I feel all moist and sticky.” He complained.

“How can you be both?” Jamie asked.

“I dunno, but I am.” He handed the bottle back to Jeff before standing there and letting it all soak in, he felt like a bit of a lemon standing there in just his underwear whilst everyone got changed but he refused to get dressed whilst the gel was still soaking in, that would’ve been sensory hell.

It took far longer than he would’ve liked but eventually he was able to chuck his shorts and tshirt on and head back to the hotel. 

Their final stop was Philadelphia (“Like the cheese?” Jamie had asked as soon as they found out they were going there) where they’d be playing Aston Villa. 

Although they’d ended up driving the nearly six hour trip from Florida to Atlanta they’d opted to do the journey to Philly by plane as over twelve hours was too much. 

Colin got why they were flying, it made sense, it was a fucking long drive but he hated flying so much he’d rather drive, even if that drive was the equivalent of travelling the length of the UK (which was a wild concept to all of the British born and raised players, of which there were quite a few). 

Colin tried to distract himself for the duration of the flight. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep so he sat reading his book with his headphones on, unfortunately Jamie had other plans, “What you reading?” He tried to get a look at the cover, unfortunately for him it was a Welsh translation so he couldn’t read it. 

“ The Tiger Who Came To Tea.” 

“Wait, seriously?” 

“No Jamie, I’m taking the piss.” Colin let out a small huff of amusement, “It’s a slice of life sci-fi my sister recommended.” 

“Any good?” 

“It’s fucking brilliant boyo, the aliens are so different from humans, and the world building is fantastic. I’d offer to lend it to you when I’m done but…” It was very clear what he was implying so he didn’t need to say it. 

“Yeah, I can’t read that.” 

“It’s originally written in English, this is just a translation though.” Colin told him. 

Jamie began to grill him about the book, initially Colin just wanted to get back to his tunes and book but once he got talking about it he couldn’t stop, info dumping all about the world building and different aliens. Jamie was more than happy to sit and listen, asking the occasional follow up question if he didn’t fully understand something. 

“Read me some of it, yeah?” 

“I can’t translate on the spot, sorry matey.”

“Nah, I want to hear it in Welsh.”

“You won’t understand a word of it.” Colin knew that Jamie knew that but he felt the need to point it out anyway. 

“Yeah, still want to hear it.” Jamie told him, “Just a little bit. Pleeeease! I don’t hear you speak Welsh enough.” 

“Fine.” Colin groaned but it was all in jest, always looking for reasons to speak his first language, “Pan mae Rosemary Harper yn ymuno â chriw'r Wayfarer, nid yw'n disgwyl llawer. Mae'r llong, sydd wedi gweld dyddiau gwell, yn cynnig popeth y gallai fod ei eisiau: man bach, tawel i alw adref am ychydig, antur yng nghorneli pellennig yr alaeth, a phellter o'i gorffennol cythryblus.” He read.

“I understood Rosemary Harper and Wayfarer and that was it.” Jamie said with a chuckle.

“That’s because those are names you knob.” 

“That makes sense.” There was a beat, “I like hearing you speak Welsh, you should do it more often.”

A sad smile over took Colin’s face, “I have no one to speak it with over here.”

“Nah but when I first joined the team you used to do that thing where you’d mutter under your breath in Welsh, or talk in it when you were really worked up, like Richard does. Why’d you stop?” 

Colin shrugged, “Dunno, just kinda happened.”

“Bullshit,” Jamie scoffed, “You’re so big on Wales, you wouldn’t just subconsciously stop.” 

Jamie knew him too well but what was he supposed to say? ‘You took the piss out of me and I was a little bit in love with you so I did everything I could to impress you so stopped speaking my first language’ he couldn’t say that to Jamie. So instead he said, “It’s not like I don’t speak it, I use it with my family, I just don’t use it around the team anymore, not worth the hassle.” 

“For what it’s worth I think you should start doing it again, it’s cute. ‘Sides Richard does it and only Thierry knows what the fuck he’s saying, not like you’d be the only one. Fuck if I could speak a second language I totally would.” 

Colin held back a sigh as a sense of melancholy settled in his chest, he’d stopped speaking his first language around his friends because of Jamie and now the man wanted to be able to do it too. He knew Jamie was a prick back then and trying to be better now but that still didn’t change the past. 

“Even if people couldn’t understand you?” 

“Especially if people couldn’t understand me. Imagine all the shit I could get away with saying, I could slag Roy off and he wouldn’t even know.” That made Colin laugh, of course that’s what Jamie would use it for. “Look if you’re happy not using it then don’t, but for what it’s worth I think you should.” 

Colin was sat on Isaac’s bed in his hotel room. Isaac was holding the end of a series of yarn strands that had been knotted together whilst Colin sat opposite him weaving them together. 

“I dunno how to feel about it, you know, like I don’t think he realises he’s the reason.” Colin said, not looking up from his work.

“Yeah, he’s not the most self aware, he might not even be aware he said anything in the first place.” Isaac also watched Colin work as he made sure everything was taught. “He’s right though, you should start doing it again.” 

Colin didn’t speak for a minute, focusing on his braiding, “How thick do you think his wrist is?” 

“Probably the same as yours.” That sat in silence for a second, “You’re avoiding the topic.” 

“Yeah, I am.” Colin couldn’t hide anything from Isaac so there was no point in lying. 

“I get that you’ve got a huge fucking crush on him-”

“I do not!” Colin spluttered, Isaac was right though but he didn’t want to admit it out loud. 

Isaac powered on anyway, “He’ll think it’s propper hot if you start talking Welsh.” 

“It’s never going to happen, he’s straight as a ruler.”

“A bendy ruler maybe. Come on, you’ve seen that man, don’t tell me he doesn’t scream bi.” 

“Just because he has bi energy doesn’t mean he is bi.” Colin sighed as he tied off the yarn, “Can we please drop the topic, I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Yeah, ‘course, sorry bruv.” 

“Thanks.” 

It was after their final match, back at their hotel, that Colin and Isaac cornered him.

“We got you something.” Colin told him.

“Alright?” Jamie wasn’t sure where it was going. 

Isaac pulled a woven bracelet out of his pocket and handed it to Jamie, “Friendship bracelet, innit.” 

"We know you think they’re lame but we want you to have one anyway.”

“Considering it’s you guys I don’t think it’s tacky. With anyone else it would be though.” Jamie attempted to put it on his wrist himself, as he flailed about Colin took his wrist in his and began tying it on for him. 

As Jamie looked down to watch Colin put it on for him he noticed a second woven bracelet around his mate's wrist, sat next to the one that matched Isaac’s. He then looked over and saw Isaac also had a second one on. 

“I told you we were the ultimate trio.” Jamie had a mischievous little smirk on his face.

“Don’t make me regret making this for you.” Colin warned him, “I can and will cut it off of your wrist if I have to.”

“You made these?” Jamie hadn’t realised, he assumed they’d just brought them from a shop somewhere. 

Colin nodded with a happy little smile, “He’s a man of many talents.” Isaac put an arm around Colin’s shoulder and gave him a little shake.

They had one final flight, and this time it was the journey home. Hopefully it was the last one for a while but knowing Colin’s luck his next international match would result in another plane trip, probably to fucking New Zealand again. 

Colin sat there trying to finish his book, but Jamie was sat on one side of him and Isaac on the other so the two of them were chatting over him, even with headphones on it was impossible to focus. 

“If you two are going to chat, one of you is going to need to swap seats with me.”

“Nah, we’re alright lad.” Jamie told him, leaning his elbow on Colin’s shoulder as he leaned over to talk to Isaac, actively working to annoy the other man. 

Isaac mirrored the action so their faces were just in front of Colin’s. 

“I hate you both.” He grumbled, giving up on any hope of reading.

It was going to be a long flight.