Chapter Text
Wednesday
"If that physical manifestation of boy crush energy touches me," Wednesday said as she rose up from her chair in the great hall. "I'm getting a restraining order."
It was too late. While she was speaking, a drop of sugary liquid trailed down the cup in Enid's hand. It fell and landed on Wednesday's leg directly below. She felt the syrupy stickiness and recoiled. It was bad enough she was forced to leave her typewriter and attend this welcome ceremony for the new principal. But it was even worse that everyone here was smothering her with this cloud of do-you-think-they-like-me and omg-can-you-believe-it vapors.
"Enid, dessert is a distraction for frivolous people," Wednesday said, mopping the liquid on her leg up with her black uniform.
"This isn't dessert,” Enid said. She protracted her claws and lifted her cup up. “It's coffee."
Wednesday pointed to the colors seen through the side of the clear cup, "It's pink and blue. Coffee is neither pink nor blue."
"It so can be. It's called a unicorn frappuccino and it's going to keep me awake during this assembly."
"They stopped making those abominations over 5 years ago."
Enid smiled, leaned forward, and whispered: "I got a guy."
"You -got a guy- ?"
Hearing footsteps behind her, Enid said: "Yes! Yes, I do". Before she could turn around, Ajax sat down in the empty chair next to her. He put an arm around Enid, one blue stained hand dangling off her shoulder.
Wednesday looked away from Enid and Ajax. She’d seen their affection a million times before, no need to keep the nonsense in her field of vision. Better for her eyes to follow the arches in the vaulted ceiling and the grime building on the exposed brick walls. Nothing in the hall looked like it had been touched in the last 50 years (she’d bet Thing’s life on that) except the metal chairs brought in for everyone to sit on. Though the other students were making quick work to change that. Some of the werewolves were having contests to see who could reach and smack the top of the hanging tapestries and it knocked a few off in the process. While other students were taking advantage of the acoustics to hear how long cries of “penis!” echoed. No one was paying attention to the front of the room. But one booming voice used the room’s acoustics better than any other.
“That’s enough!” said a deep voice with clear, crisp pronunciation.
The declaration resounded from the front of the room and heads swiveled with attention towards the source. Standing at the lectern was a woman with long white hair. The hair was sleek; she oiled it every morning and let it fall untied down her back. She was wearing oversized sunglasses; black hexagons that covered her eyebrows, eyes, and most of her cheeks. Red lips. Black pants. White Silk blouse. Black blazer. Not a curve to be found on her. Her clothing and features were sharp like barbed wire. And as inviting as barbed wire, too.
“Thank you,” she said without a hint of gratitude. She walked to lower the lights. Returning back to the lectern, she stopped, straightened her spine, and paused.
“I am your new principal,” she began, “and you will call me Principal Quake. I have been a principal for over 30 years and look forward to bringing my experience and dedication to Nevermore for your benefit. While the events leading to the need for a new principal are unfortunate, this is a chance for a fresh start and new leadership. That is what I aim to be – your principal and your leader. I am not a parent or a friend. I am the leader who is responsible for you. I am responsible for your safety and for providing you an enriching education. The environment at Nevermore has been, to put it mildly, chaotic. This ends now. I have come to bring structure. No distractions, no infractions, no exceptions. A structured environment is the way leadership supports you to do what you came here to do – learn.”
“May I introduce to you our new counselor, Ms. Hazelton. I understand that, as children, each and every one of you has emotional needs. But there is a place and a time for them. The place is Ms. Hazelton’s office and the time is your appointment slot. Everyone is going. Say it with me - no distractions, no infractions, no exceptions.”
“How this structure is implemented will become clear to you in the coming weeks. But I want to emphasize a key point. The second you entered Nevermore’s grounds, you stopped being an outcast. You were an outcast out there, but you aren’t in here. This is the space where you get to be treated like you’re no different than any other child. Because you are no different than any other child. Everything else is a distraction. You are here to focus and learn. You will hear me say this time and again, so it’s best we learn it now. Repeat after me. No distractions”
“No distractions”
“No infractions”
“No infractions”
“No exceptions”
“No exceptions”
“Good. We will be united as one, and set appearance standards to show that we’re united as one. These standards will cover your hair, your attire, and your grooming habits. Written guidance will be provided to you outlining each of these standards and I expect you will follow them.
“To prevent any future miscommunications, I want to make something crystal clear. There will be...”
She stared directly at Wednesday.
“No. Black. Uniforms”.