Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I remember when I was still an angel. The most beautiful out of all the angels. Gods favorite. I remember not sharing gods ideas about the rules for his mortal followers. I remember telling him, everyone should be forgiven if they wanted redemption. For everyone who just wanted to live peacefully, is a place here. I remember rioting against him. Against his rules for denying the gates of heaven if you merely wanted to be yourself. To love who you want to love. I remember the fight. I remember loosing. I remember the fall. How every bone in my body ached. How my face got covered in the mud. How foul it smelled. How wet it was. How cold it was. I remember how betrayed I felt. I remember my heart growing darker with every beat. I remember revenge. If he wanted a war it was a war he would get. I remember the heat of the fires of hell. I remember not remembering how happy I felt. I remember the emptiness. That hole in my heart that could never be filled. I remember the curse. I remember gaining followers. I remember taking Mazikeen in my humble home, she too disgraced from home. I remember finding friendship in her presence. I remember dream. I remember his helmet. I remember the demon who stole it. I remember him wanting it back. I remember being a champion. I remember loosing the battle. I remember the embarrassment. The hatred for him and stupid bags of sand. That disgusting bird. And his even more disgustingly siblings. Except for one. Desire… My entire life flashed before my eyes. At least the things I could remember. Looking over hell I felt like an embarrassment to the realm. Nothing could irritate me more than the feeling of loosing to him. 

“My lord, lord Azazel would like a word” 

The words of Mazikeen pulled me from my thoughts. Nothing would irritate me, except that… I thought
And right as I was about to say something the fire roared, and there he was. I turned around. 

“I will keep it brief your majesty.” He spoke. 

“Lord Azazel, how like you to arrive without an invitation” 

“I come for the bidding of the assembled lords of hell” 

“You stopped fighting each other long enough to assemble” 

“We have. Against your enemy. OUR enemy… dream of the endless. The armies of hell are yours to command, should you wish to strike. “ 

“You wish to invade the dreaming?” 

“If you command it.” 

“And then perhaps the waking world… and then, eventually, the silver city” 

“Precisely, since none of us can leave hell, we may as well expand its borders, until hell is all there is” 

“You have given us much to think about Azazel.” 

“I would ask you do more then think, the generals command action” 

I raised my brow at his last comment, how dare they command anything. Was I not their superior? The ruler, if anyone should command its me.

“Do they?” I asked. 

My tone with a hint of venom. I thought about if for a moment, I can’t snap at them that would weaken my position. 

“Then I shall act, you may tell them.”

My voice was calmer this time. 

“Excellent! Good day your majesty” he answered and with that he disappeared.

Isleens POV 

I was sent here to spy on lucifer by dream. Well not exactly sent, I came on my own accord, after all what is a proper arranged marriage without a disgruntled run away bride. I thought maybe if I could prove my usefulness to him he'd hold off on the marriage, that I wouldn't be forced into loving him that maybe it could happen naturally but deep in my heart I know. I could never love him, I wasn't attracted to him. He was far to demanding and brooding, I wanted someone who made me me happy, not someone who could make me happy which is why I found myself on the run from my fiancé and in the ruler of hells private quarters. I was getting good Intel, but I was naive to think I could pull it off. I was creeping towards the exit when a guard spotted me, I sprinted down hallways and corridors. I knew if I was caught I'd be as good as dead, I darted down corridor after corridor and found myself hopelessly loss. I was surrounded by demon guards on all sides, they snickered darkly, noticing the necklace on my neck like a collar that I could neither remove or take off. 

"Lucifer will be delighted to know that one of dreams precious little spies have been caught “

 They put me in cuffs and dragged me towards Lucifers room, I fought kicked and scratched like a wild animal. Only when we entered the room I froze tensing completely, I did not expect them to look normal, I began to fight again when the guards spoke. 

"LET GO OF ME DAMN IT" 

The guards punched me and I went limp, a cut on my bottom lip, a bruise sure to form. The guards bowed graciously, 

"we found this one leaving your private chambers my lord, it appears to be one of dreams precious companions”

I thrashed in their grip, my eyes bearing into the rulers head, trying to get away from the guards. They pushed harder on my wrist and their was a loud sickening crunch and I let out a blood curdling scream of agony. 

"FUCKING STOP IT”

“ Release her hands, stand by the door. She can’t run away that wouldn’t be smart… so… does dream know you are here?”

I held my wrist to my chest and hissed, 

"No thank God, the last thing I want is to be in his presence at this current moment”

“And yet you risk your life for him… you’re not very smart are you?”

"who says I'm doing it for him?" I snapped 

"do you think I wear this by choice?" 

I gestured to the necklace that basically bound me to him 

"perhaps I came here to make a deal with you?"

“Making a deal is not going to work if you are going to run away. Don’t lie to me to try to flatter me it won’t work. I know he didn’t send you so why are you here”

"Because I'm being forced to marry him, he wanted a love that even he couldn't dream up so he went to my parent Desire for help, and here I am a fugitive on the run from the king of dreams... So, yes maybe at first I thought if I gave him enough information about you he would think I'm useful and wouldn't just turn me into a fucking mindless house wife... but I've seen how he treats those who'd disobey him and I'd rather take my chances in hell...hell.... I hate him, and there's nothing my parent or I can do to get me out of the arrangement so I thought maybe I'd take my chances here" 

I stammered out a flush of humiliation at my admission of truth causing me to blush and emotion to cloud my eyes 

“And what do you think you will be here? A housewife would be better for many”

I snapped, "Maybe in your eyes?!?! You don't know what he wants, what is demanded of me. ... surely you have wings, you know what it's like to be caged up without choice with a billion rules your told you must obey" 

I held my face in my hands and sobbed little long scars visible between my shoulder blades.

"you fell from the heavens and were banished from your home, because you didn't believe someone should ever be forced to give love to someone or worship them just because those are the rules”

“That was then, now I don’t believe in anything. I don’t care about anyone, you can cry all you want but won’t make me pitty you nor do I care where you came from. “ I spat 

“take her to the dungeons, I can’t listen to those cries any longer”

They turned their back and I watched them walk away to the balcony. A fight with the ruler of hell was not exactly on my bingo card for this year. I had to behave if I wanted to survive, so I did. 

I went willingly with the guards I did not resist, I gave lucifer one last mournful look, 

"You used to be my hero, and now your nothing more then a disappointment “

I went with the guards to the cells they tossed me roughly to the ground and I didn't get up merely stayed curled up on the pavement. I healed my injury the best I could, and lay against the hot stone thankful at least I wouldn't freeze

Lucifers POV

I scoffed at the last words of isleen whatever I thought. 

Mazikeen approached me hesitantly, 

"My lord what if the girl is the key to dreams undoing?” 

I listened to mazikeens comment “I know she is… let her sweat for a bit. Let her drown in her tears. If dream wants her he would come get her. But I hardly think he knows where she is”

Mazikeens brow furrowed, 

"Wouldn't it be better to send him evidence of her existence in hell, say the necklace or a lock of her hair? Or shouldn't you at least tell Desire where their daughter has found herself? Or let the girl in on the plan?" 

Mazikeen folded her hands crossed her chest

“No… why would I. By not telling desire they’ll blame dream. Which causes a confrontation. It would look like he lost her like a child looses its toy”

Mazikeen nodded, "Still aren't you worried it will cause a rift in your friendship with Desire? Your oldest friend?”

“They’ll understand… if you think telling them would be best you can but I am not getting caught up in their family drama”

Mazikeen grunted in frustration, "You are so stubborn"
“That’s why you like me” I smirked and winked
Mazikeen blushed and walked away, 

"at least torture her then, I'm bored”

“I will tomorrow, I need to destress first” 

I walked towards my bathtub and let the water run adding some oils in the water.

"but of course your majesty, enjoy the bubble bath" 

Mazikeen whispered teasingly before leaving. 

I could hear Isleen scream from her cell. Some entertainment at last. 

"FUCK YOU ALL I KNOW HOW TO KILL ALL OF YOU”

I chuckled at her desperate cries for help and enjoyed the rest of my bath, dreams demise on my mind…

Chapter Text

Isleens pov

"Isleen where are you baby?" I recognized that voice… Dream…Even my sleep wasn’t sacred anymore these days.
I sighed and looked at him shakily,

"somewhere you won't find me"

Dream frowned, "baby please just tell me where you are I can help you"
I turned away,

"I don't need your help, your the one I'm trying to get away from" Dream looked at me sorrow and hurt in his eyes,

"Isleen that's not funny...baby please where are you?"

I shook my head, "Why can't you understand I don't love you? I love someone else"

Dream scoffed, "Who Lucifer?? Yea that's right Lucienne told me about your foolish crush on them. But Isleen they are bad, they aren't going to make you happy, they won't love you... they don't even love themselves"

I turned to Dream, and glared daggers through him,

"YOU don't know that, and that's not any of your buisness"

Dream slammed his hand on the wall, "Damn it Is, your supposed to be my wife, not lusting after Lucifer"

I banished him from my dreams and sat up in my cell hugging my chest, my stomach growled audibly.

"you have every right to be annoyed with me or hate me, I shouldn't have come here and demanded anything of you, but Dream contacted me and knows where I am”
“Child I know already. That’s what im after. Can’t you understand… you’re the bait” Lucifers voice rang through my head, connecting with me, filling my brain. Was this how they urged people on to commit crimes. 
I flushed embarrassed
"How much of that did you hear?”
“Darling all of it… don’t feel bad though. Many people lust after the things that are dark and mysterious”
It was like they were in my cell in real life, the smell of the bath they were taking, the smell of wine. I closed my eyes and saw them before me, sipping the wine I smelled before.
"ya know its rude to drink wine and not offer some to the key factor of your enemies undoing.”
I saw them smirking.
“It’s rude to demand such a thing when you are eaves dropping and all together be plain rude. So atlas no wine for brats”
"you could punish me for my disobedience, but I think part of you is to afraid you'll get flustered looking at me" I smirked
“Sorry, little mouse’s are not my type I’m afraid you’re wrong. I won’t stop you from picturing such desires later tonight though”
“no, but my parent is your type though..." I snapped throwing a glass of water i had summoned in frustration
“They might… what is it to you?” They chuckled

I didn't respond, their words hurt more then I'd care admit even if it was just a jab to make me flustered. 

A pout formed on the light bringers face
“did the mouse loose her tongue? Doesn’t matter… you’ll talk soon enough. At least if you are anything like desire”

"for someone who says I'm not their type, you keep talking" I snarked a bit of pain in my voice, I wiped away my tears and swallowed the emotion knowing they didn't care for tears

“Only for my entertainment”

"yes but your only doing it in my thoughts your not touching me your not in front of me and therefore I can tune you out and spoil your fun" I teased with a chuckle

“If you are going to torture me at least do it where I can see you.”

“Quite the flirt aren’t you, yet so different then your parent” I teased “I am not going anywhere. Quite frankly I’m still enjoying my bath and I am not going to waste my precious time on a little mouse like you”

Their voice left my head and I couldn’t help to feel heartbroken…

Lucifers POV
Mazikeen entered my room, she sighed. “My lord wasn’t that a little bit too harsh.”
I sighed “I don’t think it was, she was flirting… Desire would have wanted me to decline her efforts so I did. they haven’t visited in a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had forgotten about me all together” I sighed sipping my wine trying not to cry
Makikeen’s eyes softened as she looked at me with pity, she walked up to me and rubbed the tension out my shoulders.
‘’Have you tried calling them’’ she sighed.

“Yes, multiple times but, I lost all hope and gave up”

Mazikeen looked at the call log, and pressed call for me, Desire answered, "Luci baby are you there?? Hello hello?"

Mazikeen tossed me my phone.
I shook my head and gave the phone back to mazikeen

“I- I can’t. It’s always me who takes the first step I can’t”

I whispered before leaving stepping out on the balcony
"Hey Desire it's Mazikeen, Lucifer is currently indisposed at the moment, can I take a message?"
Mazikeen paused,

"oh your here, I- I'll ask them if they want company?"

Mazikeen looked at me,

"There- There here”
“Send them in” is all i said, I needed them to explain. I was mad. And sad. All things I have not felt in a while
Mazikeen nodded and went to the front entrance to the grand palace of hell and let Desire in. Desire was wearing Lucifers favorite color on them and was carrying a bouquet of flowers and a basket of treats and a stuffed dragon, and the next book in the game of thrones series wrapped up.

"I -I know I have not been able to call them back.. what am I walking into ? How mad are they?”
Mazikeen gave them a grim look
"You'll find out"
Desire walked into the opulent bedroom and noted the wine, the book with the carefully folded dog eared page and a messy bed. They saw their lover on the balcony, they removed their high heels,

"luci baby? Before you yell at me please let me explain”
I looked at them with my tears stained cheeks

“well?”
"I have been looking everywhere for my daughter, she wasn't at the wedding, I have searched every realm but yours because I knew if you had her you'd tell me.... I also knew that if I came here in my search I'd get distracted because you're my weakness and my greatest treasure I'm sorry.... I shouldn't have ignored you, I shouldn't have muted your calls I should have answered.. I didn't want to hurt you baby, you know how much I love you please, can we talk about it? You can punish me if you really want to but please don't leave me"

Desire whispered feeling extremely weak
“I haven’t spoken to you in MONTHS. Your daughter is in the cells, I caught her snooping on me not too long ago, suit yourself”

I sighed looking back outside
"You don't know what HE has on me, do you think I wanted to be away from you...your the only one who has ever made me feel like I have a home in this world"

Desire said crying softly
"I have been forced to work and make sure everything is perfect for that fucking wedding... and to make sure everyone else is happy, and in doing so I've neglected us? The one thing I actually care about...Do you know how fucking hard that's been"

Desire was sobbing
“Do you know how hard it’s been in here. To let myself love and then feel like I have been thrown from heavens all over again because once again I felt like I was going to be thrown out of someone’s life. He… he embaressed me in front of my kingdom. No one fears me anymore. He took my dignity and took the one thing I loved with him by not letting me see you. In the meantime your daughter has been flirting with me and I’m confused. before you say anything… no, I didn’t do anything. I even declined. Not that it matters to you”
I spat I was angry crying. My heart was shattered.
“If you love me then show me”
i cried harder squeezing the railing for support

Desire wrapped their arms around me and kissed me passionately, taking their time with me. A kiss I desperately needed. My mind was a mess.

"is this what you want?"

Desire kissed me again and I foolishly kissed them back moaning softly but still crying. I pulled them closer and laced my hands in their hair
Desire moaned wiping away my tears and kissed my forehead,

"I love you so much baby, please talk to me, tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it" Desire punctuated their words with kisses
“Love me… make me forget… please”
Desire nodded guiding me back to the bedroom, they shut the balcony door, and removed my robe as well as their own clothes and began to passionately kiss every part of me
"I love you"
"every"
“part"
"of"
“you"
Desire kissed me in between every word and gently trailed their hands along my frame. They began to suck on my inner thighs gently working the shaft of my cock.
I moaned softly pulling their hair softly
They whimpered at my actions wrapping their lips around my shaft and sucking gently, rolling their tongue around the tip of my dick, when suddenly desires phone began to ring. They ignored it continuing to pleasure me. When it rang again. They ignored it and this time began to choke and gasp on my cock.
They stopped for a moment catching their breath, rubbing their neck.
“I missed you” they whispered stroking my cock and starting to suck again.
“Fuck darling” I moaned biting my lip
I noticed dreams reigns on desire were taking their toll. They were bleeding and I cupped their face making them look at me and stop. 
“You’re bleeding” I said my breath heavy
They nodded trying to be seductive, "It's okay just ignore it”
“You’ll die…” I whispered

“just pick up on the little stalker I’ll be in my bed” I sighed
I started cleaning the bed and tucking myself in. Realizing it was just like before.

Desires POV
I looked at them as if I had been slapped, and answered the phone.

"WHAT WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT DREAM???" I was sobbing and angry
"NO I HAVENT FOUND HER YET, NO I DONT KNOW WHERE SHE IS, GOD DAMN IT WOULD YOU JUST LET IT GO, SHE DOESNT WANT TO HE WITH YOU I THINK SHE PROVED THAT POINT WHEN SHE RAN AWAY STOP RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE" 
"Why do you want her so bad?? You're like a child with a billion toys but they jump at the opportunity to get the one thing that they can't have. PLEASE, I can't do this anymore I want to break our deal"
I whispered brokenly
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you of the consequences"

Dream sneered at me and concluded the call. I doubled over in pain, my hair turned bright white and their eyes a yellow color. I frowned,

"Am I still pretty?”
“I’d always think that…am I still attractive?” They asked me, I had never seen them like this before.
"yes darling, always "

I crawled up Lucifers legs to their chest and kissed them passionately

"d-do you still love me?”
“I always will, even if you neglect me” They whispered
I frowned and kissed their face passionately,

"it was not intentional”
“ make it up to me then” They smirked at me. 
I slid their cock inside of me and bounced on their cock wildly riding them,

"fuck baby yes that's it, tell me you love me “
“Fuck” they grabbed my hips and growled in my ear “I love you” they guided my hips to move faster.
I did as their hands commanded and went harder faster pushing myself down on their cock and their cock deeper inside of me,
"fuck Luci yes that's it baby, fucking ruin me make yours”
“Fucking moan for me” They growled biting my neck. Their voice made me shudder and I moaned screaming their name like a prayer over and over again,

"Luci I'm close!! Baby please come for me”
They moaned louder
“cum… cum for me”
That was all I needed to reach my climax. I moaned cumming on their cock,

"fuck baby yes, fill me up”
They buried their face in my chest cumming deep inside me. 
I kissed their face stroking away the sweat damp blonde curls and moved off of them to spoon them

"I love you, no matter what happens please know that”
Lucifer nodded their head and tried to relax, my legs shaking to match theirs. 
I held them close and sang softly to them till they drifted to sleep in my arms. When I awoke the next morning I was painfully aware of people's needs in the mortal realm I kissed Lucifers cheek told them I'd be back and left.

I returned from my day in the mortal realm around noon and immediately kissed lucifers cheek
"I missed you today, did anything happen while I was gone?”
They started to chuckle.
“I wouldn’t know I was out cold, where did you go last night…” Their voice sounded painfully sad and I knew I had to tell them at this point. They had suffered enough.
I sat up and held my sides,
"I- I need to tell you something and before you get mad at me, or you get angry or freak out I need you to just listen to me...can you do that please?”
They furrowed their brows

“what did you do?”
I stood up away from them, "what if I told you I found a way to spite dream? And I did it. I did it to watch his life divulge into chaos and to make him suffer.... I did it to spite him, to help you so we can destroy him... the mortals are nothing more then our servants, and normally I wouldn't bother with trivial affairs from them because they are nothing more then entertainment for us, they serve us. Not the other way around as my idiotic siblings think. But I've done it, I have found a way to ruin him, I did it for you, for me for all of the others who are sick and tired of being in the King of Dreams shadow. I fucked her, I heard her calling out to me, all she wanted was a child, and I gave her the experience of a life time. Free of charge, I bred her like a bitch in heat, and now she swells with my child, a child that will be a Vortex. I did it to spite him, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Sandman everyone's favorite . I singlehandedly found a way to make his life a living fucking hell. All we need is that girl, the vortex all we need is her. So I cheated on you to spite dream, but if it helps you in the long run baby is it really so bad what I did?" I purred batting my eyelashes at them.

Lucifers POV

I started at them in blind disbelief I released my hand from their lap and stood up from the bed wanting to be as far away from them as possible sipping my wine and lighting a cigarette. I didn’t even smoke, but it felt like the time to start.
They followed the and laced their hands around my waist like a snake,

"Baby please you have to understand it was all for us, for your plan? You know no one compares to you right?"

They kissed my exposed skin making their way to my neck before trailing down my arms and wincing at the offending cigarette smoke.

"You don't smoke, what is this?"
“What is it to you” I shrugged them off taking a hit.
"Everything, you are Everything to me. I love you... is this gonna be a thing now youre mad at me every time I have to fuck someone ?"
They asked smacking the cigarette from my hands and over the balcony. I could not believe what I was hearing. Desire telling me they had to fuck someone for work. They who never viewed the mortals as superior. I looked at them and spat my words out with venom.
“It’s not work, you never saw it as work. You don’t serve people they serve you… that’s what is right? If I was everything to you, you would have cried right here right now, pleading to me. But to you I’m just a number. I haven’t been more then that. You’ve proven that again and again. I didn’t hear from you for months, and now you left me for “work” and decide to fuck another mortal whore. I might have fallen from heavens but at least I had some dignity for the ones I love.”

I threw my glass on the floor and smacked the door shut as I left my bed room and headed to the garden. It wasn’t a pretty garden but it would do, it was my own space. One that I confided in when I was alone and just fell. It’s my own version of Eden. And I wanted to seek piece and quiet.
They followed me against my will but Desire only did what they did best. Put themselves first over anyone else even after cheating on me.

"Lucifer you know who I am you know what I am you know what I do for the mortals.... your not just a fucking number for me, I do love you damn it. But I can't change who I am or what I am?!?! So if you wanted some prim virgin with no experience or knowledge of the world then congratulations go fuck my daughter. But if you can accept that this is who I am then baby I'm right here. Take it or leave it" they shouted their voice an angry rasp tears formed in their eyes. 
I looked back and pointed out the behavior

“this… is what I mean. Desires are more then sex you and I both know that. Never in your life did you fuck someone, you refused. I’ve known you since you were old enough to fucking run your realm on your own. I’ve known that real better then you, your tasks, you don’t fool me… you had a choice, you choose the mortals. Go ahead. Sleep your way to the top for all I care, but you are not crying your heart out to me anymore. You know your way out. I’m done talking to you.”

I turned my back towards them crying and curling myself up in a ball. It hurt. I would be alone again. My task for today was to stay out of isleens way. If I saw her, I’d jump on her immediately out of spite and she doesn’t deserve that.
"You know what? Your right... I don't deserve you and the mortals don't deserve me maybe she can serve them better I'm done. A world without you in it is just to painful, I'm done" Desire fled
Mazikeen approached me tentatively from behind, she hugged me,

"I'm sorry my lord, they didn't deserve you”
I cried harder in her arms, sobbing till it felt like my ribs were breaking
She comforted me for as long as I needed, holding me like this, she played with my hair and rubbed my back.
I cried till the crying turned into screaming, and crying again. My sobs carrying through all of hell.
I guess I have always known that love was not meant to be in my cards. God made sure I knew that.

Isleens POV
I heard their desperate cries. I heard everything. The sex, the yelling, glass breaking and then lucifers screams. Even though I too was heartbroken and wanted to say that this was their karma for treating me like this, I couldn’t help to feel sorry for them.
Maybe this would be the time to seek friendship and bond over the heartbreak we both share.
I picked up a pen and paper and wrote them a letter, shoving it under the door for Mazikeen to see.
Now all I needed to do was wait…

Chapter Text

Lucifers POV 

Mazikeen continued to hold me that night. The heartbreak felt to last an eternity. Desire was the closest thing I had to feeling understood, to feel at home in the world. They healed the wounds my father left when he threw me out. My insecurities that he left like scars, healing but always there, always visible. Mazikeen knew this. In all our years of friendship I’ve never opened up to her like this. Never in my life did I think I would, out of fear. Fear of the judgement. What would the rulers of hell think if they saw me now. Broken. Lost. A fallen angel at last, trapped in the nightmare that was reality. 

After I calmed down, Mazikeen brought me to my room . She did what she could to take the pain away. She lighted some scented candles and poured me some wine. I drank slowly, although I wanted nothing more then to forget, I didn’t want to grant Desire the satisfaction of me getting drunk. Of them getting in my head. 

"What do you need? Do you need to forget? Whatever you need, take it. But don't you dare give up” Mazikeen whispered. Her eyes filled with tears ready to spill. She cared for me, this was not a question out of loyalty for me, this was genuine concern. She stroked my face gently waiting for a reply. 

“I- I don’t know” I whispered. “I am pretty sure I have made a fool out of myself with all the realm, even the prisoners could hear me scream. They’d think the ruler of hell is gone soft” I whispered lighting another cigarette and taking a hit. 

"Luckily for you we had this part of eden sound proofed after you fell the first time..So in that regard your safe" Mazikeen whispered. 

Mazikeen gave me the letter she found on the way back to my room. It was from Isleen,

If to kiss you is a sin. Then ill walk into hell with pride. I will mix with the broken souls, and boast of how I cheated god- 

For i experienced  heaven without ever stepping a foot inside

Our hearts have suffered enough, lets make this right… 

Forever yours,

Isleen 

Tears filled my eyes at how honest she was. How after I treated her so bad she still wanted to be around me. I looked hesitantly at Mazikeen. 

“I should invite her to your chambers my lord. After all you share a broken heart.” Mazikeen was right. 

“Fetch her for me please, and thank you for you’re support. Truly”.

Maikeen blushed and smiled at my response and went to the cells to deliver the news to Isleen. 

Isleens POV

After that letter I sat restlessly in my cell, fidgeting with my fingers. This was stupid… I shouldn’t have send the letter, or the poem. God, that stupid poem. I wasn’t implying anything with it… maybe I was… a little. Every time I look at them I get so flustered. They piss me off, but… I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t love it. It was part of their charm. I tried to take deep breaths, closing my eyes. I had not slept after the meeting with dream. I did not want him to visit, to steal me away, to take me back. My heart belonged to someone else and I didn’t have the guts to actually tell that to their face. I was theirs, always had been. More nightmare then dream. 

A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts, my heart raced. Could it be? Could it be them? I opened the door to find Mazikeen standing behind it. I tried to hide my disappointment as best as I could. 

"I know, not tall dark and sexy, but I was sent by them to come fetch you, they agreed to meet with you” 

I blushed and looked down at what I was wearing. Mazikeen followed my eyes. 

“Dont worry, they havent exactly dressed up either. They have been rather heartbroken, they would not listen to me, I couldn’t get them out if their bubble. However, your letter made them smile, so perhaps you can cheer them up and make them remember who they are.”

I nodded and followed after Mazikeen, my dress filthy from the floor, barefoot. I was hungry, I had declined food. All I wanted was a bath. I hoped I could help the light bringer over their heartbreak. Honestly I was afraid what they would do to me If I couldn’t. 

We finally arrived at the large door that lead to their room, I wondered if it was the same as it was in my imagination. Mazikeen opened the door and there they were. Sitting on the large couch, sipping wine. Their eyes met mine and I flushed. They were wearing a red velvet robe. Their legs crossed making their thighs slightly pop out from underneath the robe. God, they were captivating. 

"You look incredible my lord, thank you for asking me to join you” 

I scolded myself internally for pointing their looks out. I blushed and looked down. 

“You’re welcome, I think you deserve a an apology after all” 

They stood up walking towards me and tilted my chin up to make me look at them. 

“Thank you… for the letter…” they whispered and for a moment I could see their wall breaking. 

Lucifers POV 

It was strange inviting her to my quarters, to be honest I had forgotten how she looked. She looked so radiant when she got here and now she looked underfed, broken. I felt guilty. It was not her fault Dream is a master manipulator. 

I cupped her cheek and hummed.

“Lets get you freshened up, maybe after that if you are hungry we can eat together.” 

She smiled at me. 

“That would be nice, thank you my lord.”

I smirked, and filled the tub for her, well us, but she didn’t need to know that yet. I added eucalyptus and mint oils. My favorite. I walked towards her slowly and carefully helped her out of her clothes. She blushed and I smirked. She was truly beautiful. She bit her lip and I felt her soft hands caressing my body, her fingers tucking at my robe, dropping it on the floor. 

She eyed me, squeezing her thighs together. I grabbed her hand and lead her over to the tub. I helped her in and then got in myself. We sat across from each other, my arms resting on the edge of the tub. I relaxed and she did the same. We didn’t talk. Instead we sat in comfortable silence, smiling at each other like teenagers in love. 

She took my hand after a while. 

"Shall I give you a massage?” She asked me. 

“Gladly…”

She immediately set to work tentatively but firmly massaging my body, trying to avoid invading my personal space too much. she sighed content for skin to skin contact.

"I'm sorry I was a bitch before”

“I am not” I chuckled

I moaned softly at the tension leaving my body. Purring and closing my eyes

Isleens POV 

I felt a reinvigorated sense of confidence at the delightful sounds I was pulling from their throat, I decided to test the waters, leaving a trail of kisses between their wings, and stopped kissing and continue rubbing to see what they would do.

I sang softly while I massaged them.

They smiled and hummed softly “Getting confident?” They asked me, their voice smooth like velvet. A slight purr in the tone of their voice.

I smiled, "Just wanted to see your reaction, and your wings do look kissable, and they are kissable and so are you”

They chuckled, a sound that could easily sweep me of my feet. 

 “and here I thought you hated me”

They spoke and I listened. I didn’t know what to say. I did hate them… but I also loved them. My mind raced.

"I- my feelings for you are complicated" I whispered softly, blushing feverishly,

"Part of me wants to be mad at you, to hate you for how I have been treated up until this point... but it's not that simple, I - I can't hate you, you and I are too much alike, in ways that would disappoint you..I'm sure” I whispered. Not daring to look at them. 

“Honestly I must apologize for the way I treated you, the relationship with your parent must have clouded my judgment, What do you mean by ways that would disappoint me darling”

I clutched my sides and backed away from them and showed them my back, I made the snake tattoo disappear revealing a horrific array of scars that littered my entire spine, 

"I - I tried to run the first time and the first time I did they caught me and dream made Desire cut my wings off, they were small and white with fluffy downy feathers because they were still growing... and he made them cut them off, but an example had to be made of me so he made them use iron, chains and barbs and this is the after math the snake tattoo that I normally have is a ward and it washed off in the shower.... please don't be upset" I shuddered , and held my sides not daring to look at them right now 

“Of course im not upset with you… this is what dream does, Sadly. Its just too bad he manipulated your parent into hurting us both”

I turned to face them and gave them an incredulous look, my voice rising in anger, "Please don't make excuses for them, they have been a less then spectacular parent.... they abandoned me didn't even try to see me, I was an infant, they have never once done anything where they didn't have a choice”

I gritted my teeth and tears ran down my face freely,

 "They abandoned you, they cheated on you... they abandoned me and the moment I thought they changed. Let them into my life. Do you want to know what they did for me?" 

"They pawned me off to their brother, and cut my wings off without putting up a fight, knowing damn well when they made me. They made me with you in mind. And they left me with HIM. They abandoned me again. I hate them, I hate everything about them. I hate all of the endless. I hate Delirium for only seeing the good in dream, and for telling him where I was when I ran. I hate Despair for grieving my loss more than I did instead of helping me. And Destruction, well he likes to see pretty things break. I hate Destiny for trying to brainwash me into believing that Dream was my fate. I hate Death for not ending my life when I lay broken and bleeding out with no medical attention when they carelessly hacked my wings off. There are so many things that I hate and so few that I love, that when I tell you my feelings are complicated I mean it. And I -I hate myself…”

I choked on my words collapsing in the tub, 

"I hate myself because I was too NAIVE and to STUPID, and I believed Desire when they came back for me, when they found me digging around in Dumpsters for scraps like a rat because I was homeless and starving. And while I adore you, I worship the ground you stand on, I would do anything for you. I want to know why..." I choked out, gasping for breath... 

"I want to know why when I prayed to you, you didn't answer me. Why you didn't save me?" 

I broke down sobbing, I wiped my eyes looking up at them. "I'm sorry I know you don't care for tears or emotion, and you don't deserve this at all, I can go"


I stood up to leave the tub walking towards the baths little steps. My back to them.

“ Wait… sit” they told me firmly and pointed to the bath. I instantly sat holding my face in my hands. 

“I was not allowed to save you… you could not die. You are an endless. You were not mine to save. If I did, it would have cost my position in hell… the universe even. You see, the endless and hell were civil once. But when desire proclaimed they were in love with me all hell broke loose. The endless thought it would be a mistake, a fallen angel didn’t fall for nothing, they argued. I would only break their hearts. Mazikeen went against them, in regards her father gave her that scar. She fought for me. Argued that I deserved love. By this, the endless and hell fell into war. Desire got shunned away for a while. The endless backed off of them, everyone except for Delight. Delight helped Desire with visiting me in secret. When dream found out, he told their parents. We never knew what happened to poor Delight. All we know is she became Delirium over night. She fled and wasn’t seen for a while, up until Desire made you. The only ones who knew me and Desire were still dating was Mazikeen. 

And so the neglect began. I think deep down in Dreams heart he knew Desire and I were seeing each other. He called upon them more often, and after you declared your feelings for me it got worse.  I hope you know what you got yourself into by falling for me… history might repeat itself. ‘’

I grasped their hands tightly in my own, 

"Then let history repeat itself, and trust me and believe me when I say, I won't let them take me away from you, and I won't ever abandon you.. not in a million years, not even if it would cost me my life"