Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"It is a rather quiet morning" Arceus thinks to herself as she slowly floats to the kitchen to get her daily fix of coffee

".....Of course"

She immediately sighs as she sees the entire kitchen floor flooded with coffee.

"Why did I ever get my hopes up"

Upon closer inspection, she notices it boiling and seemingly watered down, an obvious trail of Groudon and Kyogre fighting again.

"I'm gonna have Ray kill those two someday, I swear to me"

"What a waste of perfectly good coffee"

She says, proceeding to check if anyone is nearby before hesitantly lowering her head and drinking the floor coffee.

"uhh, what are you doing?"

Arceus looks up to see Giratina's head popping out of a freshly opened portal and after a short moment of silence responds

"Being resourceful"

"All of the sudden I'm anti recycling"

"Just please don't tell anyone"

"I won't, I've done weirder shit"

"....Do I dare ask?"

"Not unless you want everyone to know you as Floor Licker"

"Noted"

"..."

"..."

"So do you always drink it from the floor?"

"No"

"Okay, just, yk, checking"

After a few more moments of awkward silence, Arceus decides to brew her coffee as Giratina sweeps the Kitchen clean. Of course not without secretly tasting some of the floor coffee himself.
Once finished, she and Giratina enjoy some coffee together, from mugs this time.

"So how did it taste?"

"Awfully bland"

"Wouldn't it be salty? Since, I'm assuming Kyogre uses saltwater" He pretends to not know

"She does use saltwater, but it probably got purified from Groudon's heat"

"Guess that makes sense... Say, why did you make those two hate each other so much?"

"I don't make any of your personalities, they just ended up like that"

"Huh, wonder why"

As if on cue, Rayquaza flies in

"I know the answer to that"

"you do?" ask Pokémon God and Satan

Pouring himself a Cup of Joe he answered

"So basically, Groudon was watching the Egyptian built all of their stuff in awe and Kyogre kept trying to flood 'em, mainly ´cause Groudon caused an earthquake in Atlantis on accident and ever since then they've been fighting nonstop"

Astounded, the Deer stuck in a fence asked

"Haven't millenia passed since then?"

"Yup"

Giratina chimed in

"So isn't completely childish then?"

"Yup"

"And they fight multiple times a week?"

"Only including the little fights, yup"

"But you're also in charge of Extraterrestrial protection?

"Yup"

"I think that's enough Giratina"

"When's the last time you slept?"

Taking a sip of coffee he responds "When the Paldeans slaughtered the Aztec"

"Who assigned you all of this stuff?!"

Currently, Arceus is slightly distanced from the Conversation and also visually sweating

The two serpentine dragons glance at her

"Sorry, didn't mean to shout"

"It's quite alright"

"And I'm sorry if it sounded like I was complaining"

"It's fine Ray, I should apologize for giving you so many duties"

"Does this mean I'm getting a vacation?"

"Unfortunately we know what Groudon and Kyogre are like so I can't do that. What I can do is have others take over your extraterrestrial work"

"Oh thank-well... You, it's kinda weird to use that phrase when you're in the room"

Later that day, they decide that the Lati-Twins would be in charge of extraterrestrial protection.

Chapter Text

It's late at night and we find some of the legendaries hanging out in the bar. The loudest voice at the moment being Dialga's, who is complaining about their responsibilities.

"Do you guys have any idea, how hard it is to peak at future events and not tell anyone? It's a damn nightmare."

"Isn't it your job to tell people?" Kyogre asks, on the verge of passing out.

"Only in times of crisis, Arceus doesn't allow me to talk about embarrassing shit that some of us might do in the future, similarly to how she doesn't allow Palkia to gossip about alternate versions of us doing stupid shit"

"Such a shame that Arcues doesn't let yall spill any of the good tea"

"I know right! She's always so strict and uptight, she'd probably kill someone over spillt coffee(hehe)"

"That makes me remember, I had this fight earlier today with Groudon and he ended up spilling a bunch of coffee and he told me  to clean it even though it was obviously his fault! Easy to say, but Arcy was not happy when she found out"

Previously only listening, Reshiram chimes in.

"Why does Groudon hate you so much anyway?"

"uhh"

|WHAT WILL KYOGRE DO IN THIS SITUATION? |
|A: TELL AN UNBIASED RETELLING OF EVENTS |
|B: PLAY IT OFF AS IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW. |
|C: RELIEVE HERSELF FROM ALL BLAME. |
_________________________________________________

"I just saw the ancient Egyptians in the desert and thought they needed more water but he didn't like that and has been calling me fat and attacking me since then"

________________________________________
|THE ANSWER WAS: |
|C: RELIEVE HERSELF FROM ALL BLAME|
________________________________________|

"That's Bullshit!" Groudon suddenly yelled from across the bar

"You Turned The Entire Desert Into Quicksand! They Invented Ways To Dilute Floods Just Because You Wanted To Be A Dick!"

"Oh please, that doesn't compare to the damage you did to Atlantis"

"Oh IM SORRY, didn't know I shouldn't have moved the tectonic plates while I was busy shaping the land!"

Trying to intervene, Darkari speaks up

"Come guys let's all be nice to one another-"

"NOONE ASKED YOU " responded everyone else in the bar, with the surprising exclusion of Groudon and Kyogre

Too tired to deal with Groudon right now, Kyogre decides to simply go to her room and sleep it off, flipping (haha get it, flipper?) Groudon off on the way out.

Still a little hurt from everyones reaction, Darkari slumps back into his seat

"Why can't you just forgive her and apologize?"

he asks Groudon, seemingly blaming him for what just happend

"Oh I Could"

"That's stup-wait wat?"

"I Said I Could"

"Well why haven't ya?

" I Like It When She Gets Mad"

"Why? Aren't you guys siblings?"

"We're Not, I Wouldn't Wanna Make Out With My Sister"

"You are aware what that statement is implying right?"

"I do"

"Oh"

"Yup"

"OH"

"Uh Huh"

"And you call me whipped"

"I Don't Think You Know What That Means"

"well yk what, I don't think you realise how much power I have over you now that you've told me this"

"Because You Have So Many friends To Tell, Let Alone Trust You"

"well, I could, uhm, have mewtwo read my mind"

"You're A Dark Type"

"I could tell diancie?"

"Volcanion Has you On A Hit List"

"uh, uhh, uhhh"

"Just Give It Up"

"The moment I'm sober, I'll have an answer, trust"

"Sure you will"

"Hey Palkia, can I ask a question?"

"Sure, what's up Lugia?"

"Isn't it kind of weird that Giratina and Arceus are a thing?"

"How so?"

"Well Arceus made Gira' so doesn't that technically make her his mother?"

"Well, no, to put it simply: The Arceus you're talking about didn't make him, the actual Arceus did, the one who doesn't have a physical body"

"But ain't our Arceus the incarnation of that one?"

"Only when she has to be, aka when trouble is arising"

"huh"

"Anything else?"

"Does that mean she isn't necessarily the strongest?"

"She ain't"

"Who's stronger?"

"Hoopa, as long as he's unbound"

"Anyone else?"

"Uh, maybe Necrozma in his ultra form, and possibly that one kid that has a mega Rayquaza"

"Wdym a Rayquaza?"

"He gets around, oh and also parallel universes"

"How do you know he gets around?"

;D

"ITS JUST NOT FAIR" Landorus(Therian) cried as the Treasures of Ruin comforted him

"Cheer up pal, so far you're still in OU"

"Oh shut up Chien-Pao, you're in Ubers you wouldn't get it"

"You're still plenty good in vgc"

"But that's not enough! I was an OU staple for years! And it should stay that way!"

"Atleast you even were in OU at all " Wo-Chien mentions

"Shut up"the rest of the Treasures reply

Landorus downs his 17th shot this evening, as he complains

" Why do they keep buffing that stupid cat?! First they give it better bulk and access to fake out and u-turn, then they give it parting shot and now they gave it knock off!"

"Perhaps your downfall was destined" Kyurem waltzes into the conversations from behind the counter

"Oh shut it, I don't wanna hear you blabber about destiny Kyurem"

"Well you're in fates favor, 'cause it's closing time" he points to a clock "c'mon everyone pay up and leave!"

And so everyone does

"I get how the Treasures have money, but how do you Groudon?"

"I've Created A Lot Of Famous Sculptures In My Human From"

Chapter Text

Somewhere hidden away in Kalos, deep within a cave, sealed away from the world, there lies death incarnate, his wings wrapped around himself in the shape of an egg. (I‘m being fr rn)

Here he has been sleeping, for thousands of years, but today he awakens.

The earth begins to rumble and his wings slowly unfold, crimson red feathers glowing in the dark.

Spreading his wing wide, he looks up at the cave ceiling and releases a red beam, blowing a hole all the way up to the surface and shooting into the sky.

He flaps his wings and ascends out the hole, once out he looks around to see a forest.

"So you're awake again"

The bird turns around to see a blue deer, antlers decorated with gemstones.

"Xerneas"

"Yveltal"

The two lock eyes, until Death settles on the ground

"it's good to see you again dear"

Xerneas bursts out laughing

"…really?…"

The deer quickly composes herself

"I apologise sweetheart, its just that, I'm a deer and you called me dear"

"whatever…anything i miss?"

"Aside from me? Arceus made a place for all the legendaries to meet up, or hang around at.

"sounds…interesting, you been there?"

"Just was, ran here the second i sensed your presence"

"i assume it's in Sinnoh"

"Yup"

"wanna show me the way? it's been a bit since I've seen the world"

"Sure thing, just follow me"

She gallops away, while Yveltal quickly flies after.

 At the top of Spear Pillar, the two stand in front of the entrance of the hall

Xerneas opens the door holding it open for Yveltal.

"Ladies first"

"very funny"

"I know, thats why i said it"

He glares at her as he walks through, Xerneas following suit.

Upon entering, massive halls are found in to the left and right, as well as to the front.

"this place looked a lot smaller from outside"

"That's due to Palkia's special distortion, it’s also how humans cant see this place"

"You know it!"

The duo turn to the right and see a bipedal pink power rangers villain-looking-ass-dino approach them.

"Ey! Most power ranger villains aren't nearly as smooth as me!"

Out of concern, Yveltal asks

"what are they talking about?"

"Don’t worry, that’s just Palkia, she does that sometimes"

"Well anyways, looks you brought a friend Xern, Yveltal, death incarnate, right?

"uh, yeah, have we met before?"

"Not in this dimension"

"oh, right"

"Yeah, theres some perks to being the god of space"

"Theres also perks to being the god of time"

The trio now, look to behind them and watch a blue quadraped megamind-looking-ass-dinosaur step out of a portal.

"It’s even funnier, 'cause she can’t read that"

"Talking to your hallucinations again Palkia?"

"They're real! Tell 'em Narrator!"

Nuh uh

"FYM NUH UH?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

As Palkia cries in the background, Dialga turns to the other two

"Well, its nice to see you Yveltal"

"…have we met before?"

"Sometimes"

"My line is way better"

"Shut up"

"so uh, i take it you're the god of time?"

"The one and only"

"How come you came to us after Palkia?"

The Megamind headass Dino Begins profusely sweating

"Oh, you know how the saying goes Xern, „best for last”, amirite?"

"Uh huh"

"She had a thang going on with a certain someone"

"Shut up"

"Nuh uh”

Knowing Dialga's high standards, Xerneas can't help but get curious.

"I'm surprised honestly, who?"

"...let's just say they get around"

;D

The bird spares the dino a concerned look, as she faces away.

"I'm starting to understand why you say she hallucinates"

"Yeah, this happens a lot"

"Y'all just hating' cuz I'm more aware than you"

"Sure, we'll go with that, moving on, Yveltal"

"yes?"

"You should probably go and inform Arceus that you're here, that way she can set up a meeting to introduce you to everyone"

"a meeting with everyone at once? Or...?"

"Most likely yeah, why do you ask?"

"oh idk, I just don't, yk, like uh..crowds?"

"Ah, I See the problem, what do you propose then?"

"uh, idk"

The deer decides to chime in.

"Oh well idk Dialga, we could very easily Introduce everyone if we had someone who can see past, present and future, shame that no one fits that criteria..Oh wait a minute :)"

"I guess it's worth asking Arceus for permission in this case, but what do we do if I don't get permission?"

"do you guys not know each other well enough to tell me about the others without breaking every law of privacy?

The three look at each other in silence

Quietly, but not quietly enough for Yveltal to not hear, Palkia whispers.

"Do we tell him we don't?"

"i could just, meet them as i stay here"

"I guess, we should still see Arceus and by we, I mean you, I am not in the mood to talk to mom rn"

"Did something happen?"

"Long story short: My thang got interrupted "

"Ah I see, we'll be on our way"

So after the short encounter with the space and time gods, Xerneas leads Yveltal to Arceus's office

Standing in front of the door to the two wait, slightly put off by the fact that they can hear someone crying on the other side.

"is this normal?"

"Kinda, not really"

"should we knock?"

"Let's just wait a bit longer"

"I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL XERNEAS"

"..."

"you sure you wanna wait?"

Xerneas opens the door

Inside the room they see Zygarde in his 50% form bawling his eyes out to Arceus, whose face might as well have the words <I don't get paid enough for this shit> written on it.

The sudden entrance does seem to lighten that expression though

"Ah Xerneas, Yveltal, perfect timing"

Zigarre turns around and and upon confirming their identities, instantly pounces on them.

"YOU GUYS WON'T BELIEVE IT"

Slightly strained the deer chuckles

"What's up Zy?"

Getting off the pair, the serpentine excitedly announces

"I'M GETTING MY OWN GAME!"

"wait, really?"

'YES, REALLY"

"Thats great!"

"Congrats'!"

"Thanks, it means a lot to me and also, welcome back Yveltal!"

"it's good to be back"

"How long have you been back?"

"only around a few hours, when was your game announced?"

"Pokeday, its a legends game"

"glad you finally got your game"

"Thanks, glad to have you back"

The Pokemon representing the last three letters of the Alphabet stand in silence for a bit, until they're reminded where they are

"Well I'm glad you three have reunited, but could you please leave my office?"

The three nod, but before exiting Xerneas turns around

"Oh btw, Yveltal is just here now and he'd appreciate if you didn't hold a grand meet-"

"I know"

"Oh ok, thanks"

She leaves and closes the door behind her.

"So, wanna see your room?"
"uh, do i have one?

"You do, just lacking in residents"

"alright sure"

The three go back to the entrance and walk into the left corridor.

"This side's the guys"

"good to know"

They arrive at a jet back door with the words <Yveltal> engraved in red

Yveltal opens the door and sees a massive field with a dark sky looming above, a single, burnt down, large tree found in the centre of the room.

"huh?"

"Spacial distortion is pretty sweet ain't it?"

"It sure is"

Xerneas yawns

"Well, we'll let you get used to it, oh and have this"

She hands him a notebook and a pen

"If you ever feel like taking notes"

"thank you dear"

Zigarde sniffles alongside Xerneas

"you guys suck"

"Love you too honey"

The two leave, letting the avian to his own devices.

Narrator here, if anyone is wondering how Yveltal is aware of Z not getting a game but X and Y getting some, even though he's been sleeping for thousands of years.

It's cause real- and fic-world have different time-flows.

Chapter Text

It's the middle of the night, the moonlight shining through the glass panels on the ceilings and across the walls.

Here, a bird is seen walking around the halls, before stopping at a door with the words Lounge engraved on it.

After i short moment of hesitation, the avian opens the door and steps in and upon doin so, sees a warmly lit room with all sorts of comfortable seating and options for activities.

At a table further in one of the corners of the room sits a bulky bright red dino, playing chess with some black cloud with white hair.

"Check"

"You Can't Do That"

"Why not?"

"Your Bisharp Is Pinned"

"Oh, lemme redo my turn"

"..."

"..."

"Checkmate"

 The dark figure proceeds to throw the board off the table.

Upon doing so he notices Yveltal standing by the door.

"Yo, who're you?"

"uh, hi, I'm Yveltal"

The red rex chimes in.

"New Around Here?"

"yup, you?"

"Nope, Been Here For A While, I'm Groudon, Rule The Land"

"nice to meet you"

Yveltal holds his weirdly hand/claw-shaped wing out for a handshake, Groudon accepting it, after a pinch of confusion of course.

"Name's Darkrai, I make nightmares"

The Edgy cloud shakes Yveltals other hand/claw-shaped wing.

"nice to meet you as well?"

"So What Are You Doing In The Middle Of The Night?"

"just whatever, I usually sleep during the day"

"That Would Make Three Of Us"

"..."

"Sum' on your mind?"

"its just, I can see why you would sleep during the day, but why do you, Groudon?"

"Oh I Wasn't Always Nocturnal, Just Changed My Sleep Schedule Over Time To Keep Darkrai Company, He Doesn't Have Any Other Friends"

"Ey! I've got Diancie"

["oh i know diancie"]

"Volcanion"

["i know him too"]

"Fair point"

"what's wrong with Volcanion?"

"He's fine, just doesn't really like me being 'round his daughter"

"He's Cockblocking Darkrai Here"

"DUDE!"

"I'm Right Aren't I?"

"It ain't like that!"

"has Diancie not spoken up for you?"

"She has...just that 'Canion don't take her opinion seriously enough, 'cuz she's too immature to know better"

"sounds like one protective father"

"You ain't got a clue"

"ok I think I get it, do you guys know anything about the others here?"

"Well For One, Theres My Counterpart, Kyogre Big Blue Whale, She Around In A Watertank With Wheels, Rules The Sea, Hates My Guts, We Argue All The Time"

"He's got a thing, for 'er, likes it when she gets mad at him"

"Dont Tell Anyone Though, I'll Kill You Otherwise"

"that would be hard considering i'm the incarnation of death, but okay"

"..."

"..."

"Movin' along, there's my counterpart, Cressellia, she watches over dreams. We sorta chill and she just chill in general, do not mess with her tho, she sees all your dreams and fantasies and she will tell everyone. Unless you're a dark type"

"lucky me? anyone else you know well?"

"Theres Rayquaza, Big Green Flying Snake, Ruler Of The Sky, Hates It When Kyogre And I Fight, Kicks Our Asses All The Time, Incredibly Charismatic, Currently A Lot Calmer, Because He's Had A Lot Work Taken Off His Shoulders Recently"

"can't wait to meet them, I think"

"Oh You Want To Meet The Others?"

"yeah, I'd like to make friends, just, not all at once"

"Then You Probably Shouldn't Hang Around Us, Or Be Friendly With Us"

"...why?"

"When I Said Kyogre Hates Me, I Wasn't Saying That In The Sense Of She Specifically Hates Me, But In The Sense That She Hates Me The Most Out Of Everyone"

"And when I say me 'n Cress' are chill, I mean she ignores me, rather than straight up shit on me like the rest"

"WHY?"

"I'm Like Really Stoic And Aren't That Much Of A People Person Anyways, Plus We Kyogre And I Used To Fight For Dominance Over The Planet For Millenia, I've Only Gotten The Feels For Her In The Recent Decades"

"They think I like to cause nightmares and consider me a freak and such"

"..."

"Wonder What They Will Think About You,  Incarnation Of Death"

"Leave the guy alone dude"

"I Was Just Kidding, About The Second Part"

"you sure?"

"You'll Be Fine, As Long As You Don't Have A History Of Destruction And Violence" 

Suddenly, Flashback

"RUN AND HIDE ALL YOU WANT, PUNY MORTALS, NO ONE ESCAPES DEATH.

AHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Groudon nudges Yveltal lightly, snapping him back to reality.

"Everything Alright?"

"yeah, it-it's fine"

"You wanna talk 'bout it?"

"no, I'd rather not think about it"

"If You Say Say So"

"...in the events, that I'm not accepted, would there be any exceptions?"

"Uh, Lugia Is A Really Friendly Guy, Totally Chill, It's Just That-"

"Ho-oh, his wife, she a bitch"

"that so?"

"Well, Not Exactly, She's Just Rather Judgemental, She's Usually Around Lugia Too, Which Is Why we Can't Really Hang With Him"

"They got kids too, they kinda chill"

"could you give me some description of them all?"

"Lugia is a bird, with hand-shaped wings, Ho-oh is a red bird, Articuna is a blue bird, Zapdos is a yellow bird, Moltres is a flaming bird-"

"more birds?"

"Nah, Entei, Suicune And Raikou Are Rather Dog Like"

"well that's a twist"

"Sure Is"

"but now i'm confused, should I stay away from them or no?"

"Well, If You Weren't A Bird, I'd Recommend Staying Away, But Since You Are, You Should Be Good, As Long As You Aren't Seen Being Friends With Us-"

The door suddenly clicks open, to which Groudon quickly reacts to by throwing Yveltal across the room.

"Heyo!-woah!"

Lugia looks around to analyse what is happening

"Groudon, Darkrai, what The fuck was That for guys?"

"What? We're Just Dealing With An Intruder, You Don't Recognise This Guy Do You?"

Hoh-oh steps in, a glare shooting towards Groudon and Darkrai.

"Well guess what morons, Pokemon can't enter the Hall without the Permission from Arceus, So he's obviously not an intruder"

"Well thanks for the info, do I care?...Nope! And there's nothing you can do about, unless you wanna try?"

"You dirty piece of-"

Lugia steps in between.

"Now, now, let's not do anything We might regret later, alright?"

"Way To Stand Up For Your Wife, But Alright, We'll See Ourselves Out"

Groudon and Darkrai walk past Lugia and Ho-oh, Yveltal hears Darkrai’s voice telepathically, as they leave.

”If you do wanna talk ’bout it, feel free to visit my room”

Once further away, Groudon decides to poke fun at Darkrai.

"Look At You, Actually Playing The Bad Guy For Once! I’m So Proud Of You"

"They already think of me that way, might as well act like it if it helps someone out"

"You Should Consider Being An Actor As Your Human Career"

"Ok, you're pushing it now"

"I’m Only Half Kidding Bro! You Were Great Back There"

"You could say allat ’bout yourself too yk?"

"I Already Teach A Pottery Class, But You Don’t Have Anything To Do Now Do You?"

"Are you calling me a bum?"

"Maybe"

Back in the Lounge, Lugia is helping Yveltal up from the ground.

He holds his weirdly hand-shaped wing out, Yveltal, with his own weirdly hand/claw-shaped wing, takes it.

"thank you"

"Don’t worry 'bout It"

"Ahem"

The two turn to Ho-oh, who is gazing at Yveltal judgementally.

"Are you gonna introduce yourself?"

"oh, sorry, i'm Yveltal"

"Well nice to meet Ya"

"That doesn't really help"

"…"      

"…"   

"…"

"Excuse My wife here, It's just That time of The month You know?"

Ho-oh pecks Lugia in the back of his neck.

"uh, it's my fault, i'm Yveltal, i'm Xerneas's counterpart, i only recently got here, like 8 hours ago"

"Oh so You're The guy She was always talking about!"

"Doesn't that make you Death?"

"Hun!"

"It's a genuine Question"

"yeah, that would be me"

"Looks like he didn't have an Issue answering"

"…"

"so, uh could I get your names as well?"

"Oh sure I'm Lugia and This here is My wife Ho-oh"

"Hello"

"...that doesn't really help"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"He got You there"

"I-i'm sorry if I was rude, it's just that...Groudon wasn't exactly wrong, we don't know who you are"

"it's alright"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Do You still want Us to elaborate?"

"uh, yeah, that'd be appreciated"

"Oh well, I'm Lugia, aka The guardian of The sea, not A water type tho"

"I'm Ho-oh, I'm the guardian of the sky"

"nice to meet you"

"nice to meet Ya too"

"Not sure I can say the same"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Soooo...how about telling Us something about Yourself?"

"uh, i've just been asleep for the past few thousand years"

"And what were you doing beforehand?"

"...can i skip this question?"

"Of course, no need to push Yourself!"

"Well that's suspicious"

"..."

"You really need to stop doing That"

"I'll...try. So, is there anything you've done after waking up before right now?"

"not really no"

"... Look pal, We'd really appreciate some info about You, but you're not exactly providing much" 

"sorry..." 

"No dude It's fine! Promise" 

"Well I would like to ask one thing" 

"Sweetie please take it easy" 

"go ahead?" 

"how come there wasn't a meeting to announce you're arrival?" 

"well...thats because I don't like crowds" 

"Oh That makes sense"

"That's kind of boring" 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

"i like the colour blue...?" 

"Really? Not red?"

"no, why would it be?" 

"Cuz You're red, why would it be blue?" 

"because it reminds me of xerneas" 

"D'awww" 

"Ok that's really cute" 

"..." 

"..." 

"..." 

"We are so bad at keeping a conversation going" 

"Admittedly so" 

"you shouldn't blame yourselves, it's mainly my fault" 

"Don't say that about yourself!" 

"He does have a point though" 

"I mean maybe, but that doesn't change that our kids might be right about us being bad at making friends!"

("oh yeah they got kids")

"you two have kids? 

" Yeah we do! Our prides ond joy"

"Although not biologically" 

"what are they like?" 

"They're great, love to play pranks on us" 

"Which is why we were out here so late in the first place, getting supplies for tomorrow" 

"what's tomorrow?" 

"What do You mean 'what's tomorrow?', April fools of course" 

"..." 

"You do know what That is, do You?" 

"i don't have any knowledge about modern culture" 

At this realization, Ho-oh pulls Lugia away and whispers, quietly enough that Yveltal doesn't hear them, unlike Palkia. 

"... Should we tell him?" 

"I don't see why we shouldn't hun" 

"Well,  As much as I dispise pranks, it could be humorous to see someone ... estranged get a fridge thrown at them" 

"Moments like these make Me want to convince Dialga to get Me stuck in a time loop in which I keep marrying You" 

"That's really weird, but I love you nonetheless" 

The two birds turn back to the confused bird, suppressing any laughs or such. 

"OK so thanks to My darling wife over here I remembered that April fools is actually next week, so don't worry Your tall, dark and handsome feathers about it for now" 

"what?" 

"Wut?" 

"What?" 

"Bye!"

Lugia grabs Ho-oh by the wing and drags her out the room, leaving as quickly as possible. Leaving Yveltal on his own and confused. 

"...theres some really weird people here..." 

Yveltal leaves the lounge as well,  deciding to go back to his room and sleep in from now on. Seeing as he can't meet anyone in the night. 

Sitting underneath the dead tree in the center of his room/grass field he picks up the notebook Xerneas had given him, opening the first page and writing down some of the mons he's met today. 

Yveltal Notes

Groudon

-loud

-has a thing for someone named Kyogre (i shouldn't tell anyone) 

-good at chess (or darkrai is bad) 

-good at reading the room

-good actor

-no friends but Darkrai (and maybe me) 

-considered an asshole

-actually nice

-threw me across a room

Darkrai

-shortens his words alot

-has a thing with Diancie (Volcanion does not approve) 

-bad at chess (or Groudon is good) 

-no friends but Groudon (and maybe me) 

-convincing actor

-is considered an asshole

-actually nice (offered to talk with him) 

Lugia

-relaxed 

-has a wife (Ho-oh, loves her alot)

-has kids (not biological but still loves them)

-very friendly

-might have lied to me

-called my feathers tall, dark and handsome (?) 

Ho - oh

-stern, refined

-has a husband (lugia, not sure how she feels about him) 

-has kids (not biological, loves them nonetheless) 

-a bit judgemental, more so cautious 

-better at whispering than palkia

Chapter Text

This fic has been moved to and is being rewritten on an account named: JoeMahrs