Archive of Our Own ^beta

It's been three weeks since Tommy had those series of nightmares and he shouldn't be surprised that his family would start noticing. And yet, here he is. Surprised that Techno asked him to talk about some stuff that's been bothering him after breakfast. Where the talk will happen, Tommy doesn't know. All he knows that he doesn't want it to be in this suffocating house. It didn't use to be like this, the house didn't used to be suffocating despite Tommy living in it his entire fifteen years of life. Yet when the first nightmare happened, the wooden cozy scent became a source of fear for Tommy. Fearing that they would suddenly turn into the scent of mud and stone. Like a cave or a pathetic dirt house.

"Alright Tommy. What's going on."

So Tommy is lucky that Phil, Wilbur and Technoblade decided to have this talk outside the house. On a sunny day in the forest, picking up mushrooms and berries as they go. But that doesn't mean Tommy would want to talk about it. So when Techno spoke up to get the conversation going, Tommy just absentmindedly started gathering some mushrooms. Hoping that his silence would just push his family to ignore what's been bothering him. And if they play this game long enough, then Tommy wouldn't have to admit and show vulnerability.

"Tommy please." Phil started, Tommy not looking up from picking mushrooms, but nevertheless his father continues his pleas.

"Whatever's bothering you has clearly been eating you alive. You barely finish your meals and you spend your time just locked up in your room."

It's probably because Tommy is trying to get as much sleep as he can get. Right, Tommy is being selfish right now. Normally the logical step would be to tell someone he trusts and end this cycle of worrying and self destruction. But. . . It's just so embarrassing to admit. That this is caused because of a nightmare that just felt a little too real. Tommy meant it when he said he was going to be a big man on his fifteenth birthday and damnit he's going to keep it.

"Nothing's wrong Phil." Tommy mumbles but it's loud enough for all of them to hear. Tommy doesn't know why he bothers to lie, is it because it's easier? Probably.

"Tommy. That's a lie and you know it." Wilbur spoke up this time.

"And how would you know." The way Tommy choked out his words was when he realized he was crying. Warm tears were falling down but it's not emptying the sorrow and fear in his heart. That's when the dam broke for Tommy, he just covers his face and allowed himself the breakdown that he's been rescheduling for weeks. He can feel a calloused hand that could only belong to Techno on his back trying to rub soothing circles, but it brings no comfort to Tommy, not like it used to.

"Tommy, please. Just tell us what's bothering you. We want to help you, and we can't do that without knowing what's going on." Tommy can hear Wilbur whispers beside his left.

"That's just it. What's bothering me is stupid. I don't know why we have to make a big deal out of it." Tommy manages to let out in between hiccups, but everyone still understood his words.

"Tommy if this thing is making you suffer physically and mentally then it's worth talking about." Phil says, like it's the most simple reason in the world. That's because it is, but reason is not really on the forefront of mind in constant fear.

But maybe, just maybe. He'll allow himself to follow reason.

". . . I just had a nightmare where we're not family. And because of that, we hurt each other. But by the end of it all, you three had each other. And I had no one." Alone in that shore line with no one. A feeling that Tommy hated so much for ruining his imagery and outlook on beaches.

"It's been going on for weeks." Tommy adds in. Sleeping became difficult because every thought he had would just drift back to that lonely distant shore, his heart would pound so painfully that it left him awake at night that would even cause him to feel like vomiting out his dinner or bile. Fearing that he would wake up in that cave, that he would wake up to smell stone and mud. That he would wake up smelling smoke and flames. Then he would be reminded of that shore line, where he watched Wilbur leave his life for good. Never knowing whether they would see each other again.

"Is that why you feel like you couldn't come to us? Because of that nightmare." Phil asks. And Tommy had no choice but to answer with a truthful nod to fulfill his deed of giving himself a little bit of reason in a hazy forest of fear.

"Oh Tommy." Wilbur let's out, sounding heartbroken as he did so. Making Tommy curious enough to look up from his hands and see his brother's expression and Wilbur looks like someone who's about to cry. When Wilbur took notice of Tommy's attention on him, he opened up his arms. An invitation for a hug, and Tommy took it with no hesitation. Desperately hoping that the comfort would be there now that he finally let out what's bothering him.

And it works. When it was followed up by Techno placing a hand on Tommy's head to gently massage his scalp, Tommy can feel the care that Techno is showing. And Tommy can also feel Phil's care when he looked over to his father as he declares.

"Tommy, no matter what that nightmare says. What matters most is here. In your waking world. And the waking world says that we love you. Yes, nightmares can hurt, but you don't have to give it power over you. Okay?"

Tommy was quiet afterwards, not really knowing what to say to that. Much like he doesn't know what to say when his family pulled him in for a group hug. The first response he had was to cry louder, and his family just lets him cry. Up until finally.

The sorrow and fear has been emptied out.