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Apple Jack and Pinkie Pie had been really, really close recently. They’d been glued to one another’s hip since their train ride to Canterlot. Rainbow Dash knew she was being irrational by being jealous. She knew Pinkie and AJ thought of each other like family, but Rainbow wasn’t Rarity. She wasn’t generous, and she didn’t share, and she certainly didn’t share Pinkie. Her friends were sound asleep in Twilight’s Canterlot suite, but Rainbow was wide awake, turned on her side, staring holes into Pinkie Pie’s empty bed. She can’t bear looking across the room at them.
Pinkie’s sleeping beside AJ. Pinkie’s cuddling AJ. Pinkie left her bed, to sleep beside AJ, to cuddle AJ. Pinkie left her bed — away from me — to sleep beside AJ — and not beside me — to cuddle AJ — and not cuddle me. Rainbow thinks to herself. Her brain loops the same thoughts over and over like a broken record. Pinkie. AJ. Not me. Pinkie. AJ. Not me. You’re such a dork, Dash. You and Pinkie are friends, it’s not like you’re jealous over Spike and Twilight being in the same bed. What’s the difference? Rainbow knows exactly what the difference is, but Rainbow isn’t Apple Jack. She lies, especially to herself.
Rainbow doesn’t know when she started looking at Pinkie like that. Maybe it was her birthday party, or when they pranked every pony in town. Or when they first met. The pegasus turns on her back, ignoring the flurry of pink and orange in the corner of her eye. She remembers it all. Rainbow was a senior at Cloudsdale high, and flew down to Ponyville for a party her Cloudsdale friends caught word of. Rainbow wasn’t planning on meeting any mares — hell, she didn’t even know she was queer back then. Well, until then.
The party had a beating heart. Full of life. And at the middle of it all, was its soul. She was trying to string up a disco ball, on the top of a ladder. Rainbow could see her smile and two handfuls of blue in its reflection. The cutest dimples, too. And then, god, then, a voice like the sweetest sugar. “Oh, gee!! Could someone help with this old thing? I don’t think my hind legs are tall enough—“ The pink pony started hopping up and down, trying to reach the overhead string, and giggling as she went. Rainbow caught a glimpse of her face, and time slowed.
Rainbow wasn’t Twilight, she didn’t read fancy books and didn’t know fancy words. But for Pinkie, she wishes she did. Rainbow needs more words to call Pinkie pretty, because pretty isn’t enough to describe her. “She glows,” Rainbow whispers to herself, barely louder than a breath. She replays the moment again and again. Pinkie’s big, beautiful smile, her big, beautiful hair. Pinkie bouncing the way she always has and always will because she’s got too much happiness in her little body to sit still. Rainbow squeezes her eyes shut, so tightly she sees static under her eyelids. Salt stings her sore, sleepless eyes. It streams down her muzzle.
She has a sneaking suspicion that she never “started” looking at Pinkie like that. That maybe, just maybe, she’s always looked at Pinkie like that.
She’d fly around the world a thousand times for that pony. But Pinkie would never ask for that. Pinkie’s never asked for anything of Rainbow. Pinkie’s happy with her just how she is, just with being around her. Rainbow swallows a sob. She loves that pony so much. The static behind her eyes ebb soothingly into a creamy pink, and Rainbow is taken away to the realm of dreams.
It’s the party, the one she was just thinking about. Everything is the same, the party seems just as full of life, and Pinkie’s at the center, seeming just as full of soul. There’s only one thing different. The ladder Pinkie was standing with her tip-hooves on was much, much, much taller.
Pinkie spins to face where Rainbow stands. “Oh Dashie!! Could you help me with this old thing? I don’t think my hind legs are tall enough.” Pinkie starts bouncing up and down on the ladder, giggling, the same exact way she had before, but the ladder starts shaking violently at the impact. Rainbow is too distracted to notice heavy, blue smoke quickly flying through the legs of the ladder, before disappearing into the next dream. The pegasus gasps as the bottom of the wooden ladder starts to splinter apart.
“Pinkie! Stay still!” Rainbow gallops to the ladder, to Pinkie, which is suddenly much further away than it was just a second ago, but the ladder continues to fall apart at the same speed, if not faster. “Pinkie, stay still!!” She yells at the top of her lungs, galloping as fast as she can. Rainbow tries to fly, but looks down to see that she has no wings.
Pinkie only laughs and laughs. “I can’t! I'm too happy!” She squeals while landing a particularly tall jump. In an instant, the ladder begins to crumble. The crackling pieces of wood fly and break away higher and higher up the ladder to Pinkie’s hooves. Rainbow looks back up at the mare, and Pinkie's sunny disposition is dead and gone. Pinkie's crying. Wailing. For Rainbow. “Save me!” She sobs, “Please, Rainbow!” But Pinkie is too far away, and Rainbow is too slow.
Pinkie falls down, down down. Rainbow doesn’t quit, she can’t. She gallops faster, in hopes to catch her. Rainbow can feel her tears flying off her face with how fast she’s going. She’s so close, and Pinkie’s still falling, still crying for Dashiedashiedashie--
Weeping with relief, Rainbow finds herself smack dab below Pinkie Pie, exactly where she’s expected to land on Rainbow’s forelegs. “I’m right here, Pinkie!! I’ll always be right here! I’ve got you!” She expects the landing any minute, to feel the filly fall into her. But she doesn’t. Pinkie falls straight through her. Then Rainbow here’s a heart-wrenching crack. And she knows, she just knows, that Pinkie is, for the first time in her life, still as stone.
Rainbow wakes, thrashing forward, drenched in an anxious sweat. “Fuck,” She sniffles, teary snot dripping down her face. “fuck.” Her hooves try their best to wipe the tears away, but it’s all just too much. Rainbow wants to go back to sleep, in hopes that it was one of those dreams you could get back into and do it all over. But then she hears the sweetest sound. She hears sugar.
“Pinkie… thank Celestia.” Rainbow mutters to herself with heaving breaths. She quickly flies to Pinkie’s… to Apple Jack’s bed, swoops Pinkie’s small frame in her forelegs, and gently sets Pinkie down on her bed.
“Does anypon— mmm ice cream! For you, and you, and you, IIII love you,” Shit.* Rainbow’s brow furrows, she gnaws at her lip. Didn’t Princess Luna say something about how the Tantabus spread to us because we were in her dream? Fuck, who was Pinkie Pie dreaming about? Rainbow didn’t have time to think of it more. She started shaking Pinkie’s forelegs gently.
“Pinkie, Pinks, wake up, Sweetheart. Gotta wake up for me.” Rainbow says softly. Pinkie’s ears flutter, and her snout squinches. Rainbow sighs, “So damn cute.” She mumbles to herself, before she raises her voice again and shakes Pinkie harder. “Wake up, Pinks,” Pinkie's eyes flutter open. She smiles wide, the way she always does when she looks at Rainbow.
“Dashie!” She coos sweetly. Rainbow shushes her quickly, blushing at the way Pinkie’s looking at her. Her usually big, bright eyes are lowered and… bedroom-y. Rainbow’s neck heats up.
“Pinkie, just what were you dreaming about just now?” Rainbow urges. Pinkie shifts to lay on her side, with her hooves held together and resting under her chin. Pinkie's eyes pore into Rainbow’s like they’re the only ponies in the room.
“Oh, only the best dream ever!” She whisper-shouts. “Alllll of Ponyville and me were digging into the most awesomest ice cream Sunday ever!” Pinkie giggles, not noticing Rainbow’s face falling.
“Shit, Pinks,all of Ponyville were in your dream?”
Pinkie nods happily in response, before gasping. Her chin wobbles with worry. “R-Rainbow, it’s not good that I dreamed of all those ponies, isn’t it?” Rainbow’s mouth parts, wanting to reassure the mare but she just can’t. The look on Pinkie’s face breaks her heart. Pinkie lets out a choked breath, and her shoulders shake with quiet sobs. Pinkie’s never taken letting other ponies down lightly. “Dashie… all those ponies… all of Equestria! And all because of me.”
Quickly, Rainbow scoops Pinkie up in her forelegs. Rainbow pointedly ignores the fact that Pinkie is in her lap right now. “Pinks, Pinkie, it’s okay, it’s okay.” She rubs her hooves up and down the smaller pony’s back. “Every pony makes mistakes, it’s not like you could’ve dreamed that on purpose.” Pinkie’s shaking hasn’t ceased. “Pinkie, baby,” The name slips from her lips without her knowing, but Pinkie hears it. Her ears prick up and flush a deep red. Pinkie knows it’s not the time, but she can’t help but smile. She holds Rainbow tighter, closer. “Pinkie repeat after me: every pony makes mistakes.”
Pinkie breathes deep, in and out, like AJ and Big Mac taught her. “Every pony makes mistakes.” Pinkie squeaks, trying to hold back her crying. "But it's such a big mistake." Pinkie nuzzles into Rainbow's neck. Rainbow feels Pinkie's tears stream down her back.
“Princess Luna and Twilight will have it under control, and everything will work out, just like it always does. You’ll be okay, okay?” Rainbow says. Pinkie nods wordlessly, but hugs Rainbow even tighter. Rainbow soaks it up while she can, and hugs Pinkie just as tightly. “And if anypony gives you shit for this whole thing, they gotta get through me first, alright?” Rainbow chuckles softly, and Pinkie nods again, a smile creeps back up on her face.
“M’kay, Dashie.” Rainbow tries to pull away from the hug, but Pinkie doesn’t let her, and pulls her back. “No, stay.” Rainbow’s heart stutters. I’d stay forever, Pinkie. I will stay forever.
The minutes tumble into hours. Neither of them are asleep, but they’re both pretending to. Neither of them want to stop. “Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie mutters. Rainbow acts as asleep as she can, while still keeping her hooves around Pinkie’s waist. Please don’t leave, please don’t leave. “Dashie, I know you’re asleep, but I’ve gotta say something to you and… saying it to you when you can hear me is too scary a thought and I’m not you, Dashie, m’not brave or loyal to myself.” She whispers. Rainbow holds her breath. “I really, really love you. Every piece of you. Even the piece that hates pie.” Rainbow thinks she can hear Pinkie’s voice get shakey again. “M’so sick of crying. Crying over you.” Over me? Pinkie’s whispers get softer and softer. “Please love me back, please love me back.”
Rainbow’s eyes are as wide as moons — the only reason Pinkie can’t tell is because the cotton candy cloud of hair that is her mane — Pinkie— Pinkie loves me? Rainbow blinks up at the ceiling, unable to contain her smile. A smile big enough to rival a certified Pinkie Pie Smile. Pinkie loves me!
And as if her thought was as loud as Rainbow felt it was, their five friends wake up synced gasp -- Pinkie speeds to her bed.
Spike rubs his eyes. “What happened? Are you guys okay?”
“That— that was terrible, I never want to have that nightmare again!” Fluttershy woes.
Nervous that it would be more suspicious if she said nothing at all, Rainbow groans. “Uhh, me neither!” She rocks back and forth.
“But, Rainbow Dash,” Spike’s brow raises. “Why do you look so happy?”