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Chapter Text

     The Big Mom Pirates were in complete shambles. Katakuri, Cracker, and various other siblings were still recovering from the Vinsmoke’s return and the Blackbeard Pirates ambush. Initially, Brûlée had thought they made it out relatively fine; it was only later when she couldn’t find Pudding that she went into full panic mode. It was also shortly after that she received a haggard call from Mont-D’or which was not that comforting. Learning that even getting into Wano had resulted in a lot of injuries and Mama being just as mad as she was when she left was bad. Brûlée had attempted to lie and say they were holding down the fort just fine, keyword attempted. Mama demanded to speak to Pudding and try as she might, Brûlée eventually caved and admitted how rough Tottoland had it after they’d left. Much to her shock Mama didn’t outright blame them for how badly they’d been beaten, and was more focused on getting Pudding back from Blackbeard. There was a long while where Mama and Kaido and some other people were bickering about priorities, she didn’t really understand it. There was something about Luffy, she didn’t really care. She understood Mama had made an alliance with Kaido but was still fuzzy on what that meant exactly.

After a solid 15 minutes of arguing she quietly hung up the receiver. She had other things to think about and if Mont’D needed her he’d call back. Wholecake island had been hit the hardest as both citizens and Pudding had been snatched by the Blackbeard Pirates. A large chunk of the streets and houses were completely obliterated in all the chaos. Kuzan’s ice had all melted by now but the houses made of sweets were so soggy that they’d have to be completely rebuilt. She picked up a chunk of graham cracker wall and watched it crumble into musty dust in her hands. She gazed out towards the open ocean and felt her heart sink as she saw a ship with an absolutely atrocious flag pull into the harbor. Her despair quickly melted into anger. How dare these people stomp all over her family, her home, and all the innocent people that live here. She wouldn’t let them set foot on the island. Brûlée bolted towards the harbor the gaudy masthead of a fox taunting her as she saw the double paw shaped anchors grab a chunk of land. If she’s had the physical might she’d have hurled them back at the ship.

She watched as a gangplank was lowered and a pear-shaped man in a gaudy open coat began to descend it. His face was in a wide grin as he chatted with a blue-haired woman trailing behind him. His smile vanished as he spotted Brûlée at the end of the gangplank, she couldn’t fathom how angry she must have looked. He opened his mouth to speak but Brûlée shouted above him.

“Get back on your ugly boat, and go somewhere else! Anywhere else!” She shouted and he froze. He fell to his knees and began to whimper about her comment being very hurtful and Brûlée was far from happy with this reaction and was even less happy when the blue-haired woman began trying to comfort the pathetic man.

“The Sexy Foxy is a beautiful boat Boss, she just doesn’t have the same appreciation for it as we do.” The woman said. Brûlée winced at the name of the ship and saw a larger man pop up behind the duo. He was poorly containing his laughter.

“Boss, you better watch out-” The large man started to say but the woman cut him off.

“Hamburg, how many times have I told you; stop laughing at the Boss-” She too was cut off because the gaudy man began to slide down the gangplank. Brûlée watched in horror as both his subordinates reached out for him only to miss and fall into him. This launched all 3 of them down the gangplank and into Brûlée and directly through the wall of one of the remaining graham cracker buildings.

Chapter Text

A cacophony of voices called out for the 3 idiots that set Brûlée flying through a wall. Oven cried out for Brûlée and dashed towards the rubble of the shack. Katakuri sighed as he lagged behind him at a brisk stride. Having to use his trident as an assisted walking implement was rather inconvenient but, having Oven changing in ahead of him was far more concerning. He closed his eyes and focused as he walked hoping to get a glimpse of whatever stupid thing Oven was going to do once he got his hands on these people. He saw Oven lifting up the rubble and mistakenly grabbing that weird little man. Katakuri opened his eyes and rolled them as said event had begun to play out in real time. He deemed Brûlée’s well being more important than the stranger and knelt down beside her. She was thankfully fine, a bit dusty but unhurt.

“Big Brother! You should not be out of bed!” She scolded him and he smiled from under his scarf.

“I know, I tried to get Cracker to check on you.” He glanced over at Oven making a scene and shouting at the distressed crew pouring out from the boat. “He refused.”

“Well, none of you should be out of the infirmary!” She stood as she spoke and Oven visibly winced. Brûlée was trying her best to look angry but as she knelt over Katakuri to help him back to standing, that facade cracked for just a moment. A tender thankful smile that disappeared as she brought her full attention to Oven. The woman still on the ground looked up at Katakuri and gave him a weirdly knowing smile. He quickly averted his gaze and adjusted his scarf, feeling his face heat up. She stood up and pranced past him quicking grabbing her boss from Oven’s slack grip and putting him under her arm. His eyebrow raised at that, she was surprisingly strong for her build. Well, he shouldn’t have been that surprised given his siblings, but still. She brought her free hand up to her face and cleared her throat. Oven snapped to attention and Katakuri restrained himself from groaning as his brother not subtly ogled her. He probably could have gotten away with it if he wasn’t twice her size and didn’t bounce his whole head like a bobble-head. Regardless, she stuck out her hand to him.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m Porche. This is our wonderful boss, Foxy. And the guy still collapsed on the ground is Hamburg.” The man known as Hamburg appeared to be unconscious but she didn’t seem concerned, so Katakuri just left well enough alone. “We are the Foxy Pirates.” She said with a flourish and Foxy leapt out of her arms and landed facing his siblings. He let out an awful laugh and continued for Porche.

“That’s right, our crew was getting quite restless and we were simply looking for a place to disembark and rest. But I see you know a great pirate when you see one, sorry to have scared you miss, uh Brûlée was it?”

“Uh, never heard of you.” Oven chimed in and Foxy collapsed to the ground sulking again.

“Does he always do this?” Brûlée sighed and Porche sadly nodded, taking a breath before beginning to comfort the man. “Well, whoever you are; you can’t dock here. Actually, it shouldn’t even be possible for you to just waltz in here like you claim.” Oven said though his hostility was clearly tempered.

“We’re currently rebuilding anyway and don’t need a bunch of strangers running around Mama’s territory.” Brûlée stated. Her mention of Mama brought Foxy out his sulking.

“Wait Mama? As in Big Mom?!” He stuttered.

“Yes. This is Wholecake Island. Did you just dock in Emperor territory and not realize it?! Are you completely dense?” She said, watching him sulk once again.

“Hold on, sis.” Oven said, pulling his sister aside.

“Oven no.” She whispered in a warning tone of voice.

“He could be dangerous.” He whispered back. She looked at Foxy and then back at Oven.

“Oven. You cannot be serious.”

“He navigated into our territory like it was nothing.” He said.

“Look at him.” She gestured to Foxy.

“Fine, I want Kata’s opinion.” He said.

“You just don’t want the pretty girl to leave.” She said with an accusatory tone.

“I never said that.” He said curtly. Brûlée sighed and Katakuri whispered into her ear.

“He’s either extremely good at masking his actual strength or he’s pathetically weak.”

“And you can’t tell? I’m pretty sure I can.” Brûlée said. Katakuri simply moved back as Foxy spoke.

“You can admit my charms have won you over.” He smiled at her and extended a hand to her. 

“Are you stupid?” Brûlée said and watched him slowly sink forward. Katakuri nudged her and she knew that was a signal that meant “be nice”. She sighed and wearily gave him her hand. “If you truly mean no harm, then I suppose we are in no position to oppose you. I am Charlotte Brûlée, 9th daughter of the family and currently in command here.” She looked to Katakuri for approval and he simply nodded. It felt strange for her to say she was in charge but it was unfortunately true for the time being. His eyes narrowed and she turned back to the sullen man, who was now quite chipper once again.

“It is a pleasure to meet someone who is not only powerful, but beautiful too.” He said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the back of it. It was chaste and respectful. She let herself crack a small smile at that. It wasn’t the first time a man had said sweet things to her in hopes of curing favor with the family but, it was nice that he seemed quite committed from the get go. He didn’t have that revulsion that people typically had before trying to recover and pretending they never called her a horrid witch. 

“Right, anyway as I stated we are in the process of rebuilding. If you would kindly see yourselves out, I’d really appreciate it.” Brûlée said, giving him an absolutely fake smile and pulled their still linked hands closer to chest. She clasped both hands together around his and knelt down to his eye level, batting her lashes at him. Pudding wasn’t the only actress in the family. Much to her surprise he actually seemed transfixed by her. His face was heating up as he just stared at her and she felt her smile slipping. Porche loudly coughed and brought Foxy back to reality.

“Oh? Yes, um, well perhaps you’d like our assistance then?” He said, and everyone (minus Katakuri’s) jaw dropped. Brûlée was about to shout in this idiot’s face that she clearly stated what she wanted but Katakuri stopped her.

“We can at least take them back with us to the next family meeting.” He said.

“And why would we do that?” Brûlée asked.

“Because Prim just closed the gap in the territorial sea slugs that they came through.” He said and pointed at the ignored end of the dock. Sure enough, Prim had just emerged from the water and waved to her siblings. She was shaking the excess water off of her human upper half. Oven stared at Katakuri in disbelief and Brûlée brought her hands to her chest in horror. She took a deep breath, pausing when something felt off. She quickly realized that she still had Foxy’s hand trapped between hers and now it was trapped against her chest. Actually, she had accidentally pulled the whole man up against her by his arm. To his credit he hadn’t moved a muscle, and was only now meeting her gaze. She could see the sweat forming on his forehead as an awful thought crept into her mind.

“ His stupid face would fit perfectly where his hand is. ” She felt her grip release in an instant as she dropped him. He landed in a heap on the ground but quickly righted himself. They both spoke at the same time.

“My apologies.” He said.

“I’m so sorry.” She finished. He looked very pink and she knew she was blushing. Thankfully, Prim had meandered over to interrupt.

“Why is there a boat with ugly flag in our harbor?” She asked, twirling one of her octopus tentacles casually between her fingers.

“That stupid flag is all that Strawhat’s fault!” Foxy exploded and Brûlée picked him up by the lapels.

“You’re in leagues with that rude brat!”

“Huh? No! We lost a Davy Back Fight and he took the old one and gave us, that!” He shivered and pointed at it again.

“What the hell is a Davy Back Fight?” Prim said, “Also, didn't the family meeting start like 20 minutes ago.”

“It did.” Katakuri said.

“Why didn’t you say something?!” Brûlée screeched as she ran over to the rubble of the shack with Foxy in tow. She quickly located a miraculously undamaged mirror. “We’ll take a short cut.” The other siblings, Porche and Hamburg moved over to where she stood over the mirror on the ground.

“I’m alright Porche. The rest of you stay back and guard the ship.” He gestured to the confused lackeys that had poured out of the ship. His eyes widened as he watched Prim jump tentacles first into the mirror and vanish. Katakuri went next and Oven hung back, gesturing for Porche to go first. She got behind Hamburg and pushed him through before smiling at Foxy and hopping through. Oven followed right behind her and Brûlée carried Foxy through the mirror. As they stepped into the Mirror World, she saw Foxy’s eyes light up. It shouldn’t have made her so happy that he was impressed.

Chapter Text

   The motley crew made their way through the mirror world. Foxy, Porche, and Hamburg lagged behind the Charlottes. Brûlée occasionally glanced back at them but the others paid them little mind as they walked. Foxy took in the whole dimension that Brûlée had access to. He imagined she was a core component of Big Mom’s crew. He read the papers and about that Strawhat brat overthrowing 2 emperors of the sea. In truth he now felt a teensy bit bad about his intent to scoop up some interesting folks from Big Mom’s territory in her absence. Especially since other people clearly had the same idea.

Brûlée glanced back at him, her expression was neutral. She really was interesting. Foxy typically sought out conventionally attractive women for his crew, not out of personal interest but because pretty girls distracted stupid men. His crew seldom pestered him about his lack of companionship. He usually laughed it off but Porche had asked him about it recently. She had a myriad of boyfriends and Foxy supposed it was fair of her to ask. It’s not like she saw his skirt chasing days when he was a professional boxer, he wasn’t very proud of his less than stellar personality back then. He stopped in front of a full length mirror that was close to ground level. He looked at himself and grimaced as he thought about his past. He adjusted his coat and squinted into the glass, he saw a man with purple hair sitting on the side of an infirmary bed. He watched him get up and walk up to the mirror.

“Ugh, maybe I should have gone to check on her.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck. There were some nasty bruises on his exposed chest. He had some shoulder armor and a cape draped over his back and some weird cracker looking baubles hanging from his pants. Foxy blinked as he realized this was probably another Charlotte sibling. He saw the purple haired man’s posture stiffen as he squinted at him. “Brû? No, wait way too short. Who the hell...?” He reached a hand into the mirror and Foxy swiftly moved out of the way. The man stepped fully through the mirror and stared down at him utterly confused.

“Which of Brûlée’s siblings are you?” Foxy asked calmly. The man raised an eyebrow and caught sight of the rest of the group, now at a dead stop and staring at the 2 men. The purple haired man looked at Brûlée and broke out into a huge grin. Foxy could practically feel her anger as her brother spoke.

“Cracker, I’m one of her older brothers. Do I get to know your name or uh, is that a secret?” He snickered and Foxy did his best not to roll his eyes. Porche did this to him anytime he added another woman to the crew. He had to admit this was a bit more fun now that he was not on the receiving end of such teasing.

“Foxy. Captain of the Foxy Pirates.” He grinned, feigning ignorance as to what Cracker was implying.

“Oh a captain, well. Brû does like forest animals.” He said.

“You stop this right now.” Brûlée scolded.

“Aw come on, you had a secret boyfriend and didn’t tell us? For shame Brû.” Cracker chided. Foxy looked back to see chaos breaking out as laughter was threatening to erupt from Hamburg, Oven, and Prim. Porche was already scolding them and Katakuri just stood halfway in what he presumed was their destination. Brûlée was seething with anger as she marched past Foxy without so much as acknowledgement. Foxy shook his head as he walked past the still discombobulated group. He smirked as he heard a loud smack and Brûlée chewing Cracker out which caused the laughing to abruptly stop. Katakuri lowered his intimidating gaze to Foxy and his smirk faltered a bit. Wordlessly, he went through the mirror and Foxy followed.

As he stepped into a rather large room with an equally large table surrounded with a huge array of colorful characters. The chatter and friendly acknowledgement of Katakuri hushed as they spotted Foxy. He awkwardly moved to the side so the others could exit the mirror. Katakuri sat between an injured older man and what appeared to be a rabbit in clothes. One by one the others entered the room, and hurried to random seats around the table. Foxy stopped Porche and Hamburg from joining the Big Mom Pirates around the table. Finally Brûlée emerged and sighed as she approached the end of the table where she stood to address the group. She was instantly cut off by presumably another sister.

“If it’s so hard for you to make these meetings, maybe you should let Katakuri be in charge.” The blonde woman snarked. Foxy grimmaced, and moved to stand beside Brûlée. Porche and Hamburg followed as in typical fashion.

“She’s your captain and you should show her the respect that title deserves.” He said arms folded in front of him. He desperately did not want to ask a man as scary as Katakuri for a Davy Back Fight. This is what he told himself anyway.

“I’m sorry who-”

“Foxy, captain of the Foxy pirates. Now let your captain talk.” He gestured for Brûlée to speak. She stood stunned for a moment before she began giving everyone a brief rundown of what the whole situation was with the town and the dock. She briefly introduced Foxy and company and nervously looked at him.

“He’s offered to help us at least partially with reconstruction.” She stated.

“Of course. My crew has many talented builders, and lots of able bodied workers. So, why wouldn’t I be interested in helping a lovely lady in need of assistance?” He said, fluttering his eyelashes at Brûlée.

“Because it's inherently suspicious that you’d assist strangers with no immediate benefit. Are you sure you’re an actual pirate?” The blonde said. Foxy dropped his head and leaned on the table for support.

“What a hurtful thing to say...” He mumbled.

“While I appreciate your apprehension Cornstarch, we really aren’t in a position to be so dismissive.” Brûlée said and awkwardly attempted to comfort Foxy. Her hand flitted around him for a moment before she settled on a brief pat on the back but disgust was very visible on her face. He instantly perked right up and looked up at her. “That being said, what do you get out of this exactly?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” The second the words left his mouth her face visibly darkened, “Oh, don’t worry it’s quite a simple proposal.” He paused and most of the room was uncomfortably quiet. Cracker grinned and opened his mouth to start teasing his sister again. “It’s not that kind of proposal!” Foxy snapped and Cracker actually jumped in his seat. “I’d like to propose that in exchange for helping you with some reconstruction, you’ll agree to a Davy Back Fight. Does that seem like a fair deal?” Foxy finished. Brûlée seemed to actually mull it over.

“Okay, what the hell is a Davy Back Fight? Can the rest of us be clued in here?” Prim said.

“A Davy Back Fight is an old pirate tradition. It’s two crews competing against each other to steal crew members or their flag. However, it’s currently not possible for us right now. In case you haven’t heard, our captain Linlin is in Wano.” The old man spoke up. Foxy admired a good attempt at weaseling around technicalities.

“Anyone put in charge of a crew of pirates regardless of actual title is eligible. But, I’m sure you already knew that. Regardless, Brûlée is the acting Captain, correct? Then it’s ultimately her decision.” He said, smiling at the short old man. He’d dealt seldom with golden age pirates who actually had a thing or 2 to say about the rules of Davy Back Fight. He hoped he wouldn’t cause too much trouble for him in convincing Brûlée.

 “Hm, a chance to take some of your crew members and beat you up? Must you tempt me?” Brûlée said and Foxy did a double take as she looked at him in a way that few women ever had. It was a mix of contempt with an odd look of pleasure in the idea? He didn’t want to think too hard about how much he’d like to find out if she meant to beat him up literally. 

“Hm? That didn’t make you start sulking?” She said and leaned down to loom over him.

“Wait, we could lose crew members from this? Hell no! Mama would kill us.” Prim said and other crewmates mumbled in agreement with her.

“Tell you what, how about you start rebuilding a bit, and let me mull it over? Only a day or 2 at most, seem fair?” Brûlée said ignoring her family, and Foxy felt his whole body heat up with the way she was speaking to him. It was sultry in a way he couldn’t quite place, or at least he thought it was. She still didn’t like him, he wasn’t so naive, but it wasn’t open disdain either. Foxy opened his mouth and some embarrassing stammering came out before he just nodded. “Good. See we can be civil here.” Her tone was accusatory to the rest of the room, but there was no response to her comment.

“Now, what else is going on with the rest of the islands.” She said, and the meeting properly resumed. Despite really trying to pay attention to glean something of note about the Big Mom Pirates normal operations he just couldn’t focus on anything besides Brûlée. He felt insanely stupid taking a bad deal like that, but he just couldn’t find a way to say no to her. He’d never met a woman so transparently conniving as himself. She didn’t trust him at all but the fact that she’d so willingly take advantage of his perceived interest in her for personal gain and so willingly swallowed her pride to do it. It wasn’t even that special in the grand scheme of things. Her powers were also of great interest to him, but there was something about her he still couldn’t quite place. Porche was nudging him in the back and it did pull him back to reality. “If no one else has anything else to report then we can end here and get that rebuilding underway.” She paused and Foxy noted several people in the room had very notable sour expressions aimed at him, but no one said anything and the meeting was adjourned.

Brûlée quickly guided him back over to the mirror, ready to take him and his first mates back to his ship. He watched them step through the mirror and looked back at the rest of the Big Mom Pirates. It was an odd sight. Despite their hostility he noted Cracker’s teasing smirk had spread between several other siblings. It betrayed the fact that at least a good portion of the crew was not above childish sibling rivalries. He assumed trash talking would unfold after they left. He stepped through the mirror and found Brûlée waiting for him. Her face had softened and a small smile danced across her lips. She looked kind. She opened her mouth to say something and Foxy just stared at her wide-eyed. She closed her mouth and shook her head and began walking ahead of him. He stood frozen and he watched her walk. He thought about how she looked on the dock at the end of the gangplank. It was like a wisteria tree had come to life and stood before him. Her lavender hair framed her face so perfectly, the intensity of her eyes. She had clearly been through much if her scar was anything to go by. She stopped and looked back at him. Her face had returned to the hardened exterior he was now more familiar with. He moved to catch up to her and felt a temptation to touch her and make sure she was still real.

Chapter Text

    After returning to the Sexy Foxy the crew was ecstatic to see their boss safe. Brûlée grimaced as Foxy gave a big long speech about what he’d signed them up for. They seemed rather chipper about the whole thing and she at least thought that admirable. Foxy asked her where they should start and she simply said to fix around the pier and then she’d take them more inland. She was almost floored as she watched wave after wave of crewmen pour out of that embarrassingly named boat.

There was quite a variety of different peoples and animals, not nearly as many as Tottoland had but it was enough to be noticed. She didn’t even have to direct them to Tottoland’s own reserves of building materials, they immediately got to work. Reinforcing any structures still standing and building whole new houses right on top of the ruins of the old ones. They were quite efficient at it, even compared to her family’s own work after Mama’s rampages. Most of the citizens that still remained on the main island avoided the coastal areas after everything that happened with Kuzan. That didn’t stop people from being naturally curious as she saw the occasional denison wander past. Most of them looked quizzical before wandering off. She couldn’t blame them, even by Tottoland standards the Foxy Pirates were odd.

Brûlée decided that she should find a place to sit down and supervise. Not only did she not trust any of these interlopers but, she didn’t even trust her family not to do anything stupid and hostile. Normally, she wouldn’t care about the shoot first ask questions never attitude they had but they were in no position to pick fights. Besides, for as much bravado as Foxy had he was clearly an idiot. She wasn’t sure if he was as stupid as he’d like her to think but, he was doofy in a way that made her confident he wasn’t any real threat. She just needed to wait till her older brothers were in tip-top fighting shape to shoo the whole awful crew away.

She picked up a box and was about to sit on it when she was abruptly grabbed by the hand and stopped. Some of Foxy’s crew had surrounded her and before she had time to process what was happening they replaced the box with a chair and she was gently guided to sitting on it. She blinked, confused and jumped a little as a second chair was placed next to her. Foxy propped his leg up on the chair like he was standing on the bow of a ship, instead of taking a seat. She turned and mumbled a soft ‘thank you’ to the random crew members and they beamed back at her. Odd, odd people. Foxy was smiling at her, even seated she was still a whole head taller than him.

“So, what do you think?” He asked and she was genuinely unsure what he was asking about.

“I must say I’m quite impressed.” She paused as she wanted to try something out of curiosity, “Your crew isn’t half bad either.” She grinned as Foxy turned beet red and she thought steam was going to come out of his ears. He lost his balance and knocked the chair on top of himself. She laughed at him, he was pathetic. At least she could have some fun riling him up, since it was so painfully easy. He quickly righted the chair and now sat in it like a normal person. He was still quite pink as he struggled to stammer out coherent words.

“H-how brutally honest of you!” He huffed as his whole body shook. She turned her attention back to the construction. They were actually rebuilding the little shack that those doofuses flung her through. She absent-mindedly carded her fingers through her hair checking for cookie crumbs.

“Hey boss, where do you want us to put this?” A foxy pirate said holding up the mirror Brûlée had used earlier.

“Hmmm, over here for now.” Foxy replied. They did as they were told and placed it next to Brûlée on a small stand. She should have told them to move it away from her, but she didn’t want to give away that her siblings could eavesdrop through it. She was almost certain one of them entered after Foxy and followed them but, if she exposed that they could be listened in on through any mirror they might get cautious and she didn’t want that. She huffed as she watched the Foxy Pirates work. Foxy cleared his throat and she looked over at him, she’d actually forgotten he was still there.

“Yes?” She asked and he opened his mouth but nothing came out. He cleared his throat again and got words out this time.

“You um, don’t have to sit around with us if you don’t want to.” He said and she scoffed at him.

“Do I look stupid? I-” She stopped and remembered she shouldn’t be so hostile, “I, sorry. I mean, I’m fine with supervising, besides if I don’t someone else has too.” She said and Foxy nodded in understanding.

“Don’t trust your siblings to do it?” He said casually. She supposed he must have picked up on the hostility at the meeting. She sighed.

“Basically.” She admitted and he laughed. It was not a cute laugh.

“Things seem pretty tense. You got attacked what 3 times?” He asked as he leaned forward.

“3? Oh I suppose Strawhat does count.” She said and wondered how he knew about the 2 after Luffy, maybe it was in the paper? Or maybe it was just a guess, she shrugged it off. She grimaced thinking about Luffy and his stupid crew.

“That kid is a real pain in the ass, isn’t he?” He asked and she scoffed again.

“That’s putting it mildly, I take it he beat you in one of your Davy Back Fights?” She asked and he angrily stood on his chair.

 “Yes! He broke my perfect record, that absolute...” He trailed off into angry mumbling. She understood his frustration, but she didn’t feel too sorry for him. He came out of his encounter with Luffy with a shitty flag, and no other visible damage. Seemed petty to still be upset in her opinion. “He couldn’t even get my name right, calling me split-head.” He said that and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She was a little amused that Luffy clearly didn’t respect this man at all either but also she was still just a teensy bit upset about her own terrible nickname. 

“Better than Branch.” She mumbled. Unfortunately Foxy had heard her and his curiosity was peaked.

“Branch?” He questioned.

“If you value your tongue, you will retract that question.” She said and he rolled his eyes.

“Is that what he called you? I can kind of follow his logic, Wisteria to Tree to Branch to Brûlée.” He said putting a hand to chin.

“...That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Brûlée said.

“I never said it was smart!” Foxy yelled back, “We’re talking about Luffy, a man so dumb he forgot he even drew this horrendous flag!” He pointed at it, and she glanced at it again. It reminded her of a particularly bad birthday card Cracker gave her one year when they were quite young. She couldn’t help but smile thinking of it.

“Did he really? That sounds about right. Y’know It’s kinda cute in an ugly sort of way.” She paused and glanced at Foxy again. “Wisteria?” She questioned. That was a new one. Various acquaintances had compared her to flowers in some attempt at flattery. Usually generic comparisons that she shrugged off, but he sounded like he’d actually given it a bit of thought.

“Anyway, what was your run in with that kid like?” He said avoiding her question altogether.

“Mmmm, we lured him into the Seducing Woods. I ambushed him and his friends. Then it all got turned around on me and I ended up kidnapped and unwillingly helped them crash my sister’s wedding.” She said this and Foxy became oddly quiet. She opted to clarify. “Because of my devil fruit power. Oh and an attempt on Mama’s life. Not very original and also not Strawhat’s idea.”

“Ah, that’s a lot more complex than I had expected.” He said, seemingly unfazed. “And I was going to say assassination doesn’t really sound like Luffy’s style, but he never hurt you or anything, right?”

“Heaven’s no, but he carried me around like a sack of potatoes. It was frankly rather embarrassing. To be fair I did try to boil some of his friends. So, he probably considers us even.” She decided admitting to attempted murder was probably something she should backpedal from.

“Hm, never tried that. Seems kind of inefficient. Did he still have Chopper with him?” He asked and then followed up with, “He was part of my crew for a little bit, sweet kid.” She blinked slowly at him. “The doctor.” He said and she tilted her head to the side in confusion. “The little reindeer fella.”

“Oh! Him.” She said nodding and made a mental note not to mention she tried to boil him specifically. “He’s a doctor?”

“Did that not come up? Feh, doesn’t matter.” He said waving his hand dismissively as a bunch of his crew members approached. “Hm, what?” He asked and one of the many masked weirdos answered.

“We finished. What area should we do next?”

“That’s impossible, you-” Brûlée started to say as she stood up and sure enough the entire dockside area was reconstructed. Even the dinky little pier looked brand new. “Huh. How?” She waved off her own question and opted to gesture for them to move further inland. “Nevermind that, why don’t I show what’s left of the chateau and Sweets City.” She started walking and the absolutely massive collective of people followed obediently behind her.

“Hold it!” Foxy yelled and Brûlée rolled her eyes but did in fact stop. “Is the chateau a big building?”

“My mother lives in it, what do you think?” She answered. Instead of responding he snapped his fingers and his crew opened a massive compartment on the ship. Brûlée’s jaw dropped as a giant man stepped out of the boat, despite his imposing size he still was wearing that same stupid mask as the rest of the crew.

“He’s not much of a builder but he can at least hold big pieces up, right?” Foxy laughed and paused as Brûlée gave him no response, “What’s the matter? Surely you have other wotans living here.”

“Mama has never been able to convince a single giant, half or otherwise to live here. How do you just have one?” She asked, stunned.

“His name is Big Pan. Use gestures if you want to talk to him, his hearing is quite bad.” Foxy stated as he flagged down the half-giant. Much to Brûlée’s surprise Foxy began signing to Big Pan. Brûlée didn’t know a ton of sign language, the alphabet and a couple words here and there. She did know enough to know that she was being discussed. It did help that Big Pan pointed directly at her a couple times. She watched Foxy struggle to sign the word chateau, he opted to spell it out and he spelled it wrong. Big Pan laughed at him and corrected him. Brûlée tried not to laugh out loud as Foxy began angrily gesturing total flustered nonsense. The wotan man looked her up and down and smiled, bearing his massive mouth of razor sharp teeth.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He said and she jumped because she assumed he couldn’t speak.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Brûlée said and the wotan man returned to a standing position. Foxy had regained a bit of composure as he extended his hands out in front of himself and bowed slightly .

“Lead the way, Brûlée.” He said and Brûlée mistook his gesture as extending his hand for her to take. She shrugged and took his hand dragging him behind her as he froze completely in shock. His crew happily followed behind as she led them to the ruins of the chateau.

Chapter Text

    Upon reaching their destination Porche assumed Brûlée would have a lot of tedious explanations to get through and she was very much correct. Strusen, Oven, and Cracker were all chatting and came to a dead stop as soon as Big Pan was seen casually approaching the city.

“Brûlée, is that?” Strusen asked.

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Don’t know.” Brûlée answered and Porche stopped listening as this was definitely going to go on like this for a while. The Boss was finally getting them right where he wanted them. She had been worried that bringing out Big Pan would be tipping their hand too early but it had paid off almost instantly. She should have known better than to question him. Boss was already deeply embroiled in a discussion with them. She didn’t concern herself with backing him up, despite their high bounties he now firmly had their attention. Porche turned her attention to some of the other Big Mom Pirates meandering around. She noted a few with high-ish bounties here and there but there were quite a few she hadn’t seen posters for. Unfortunate that they’re picking through the scraps of the crew but it beats a confrontation with Big Mom any day. She smiled brightly as she spotted a humanoid bunny dressed in cute little dress clothes. He was walking a crane next to him as he approached quizzically. 

“Hello Mr. Bunny~!” She said as she waved. He caught sight of her and swiftly turned and led the crane away from the group at a much faster pace. She suddenly had a second choice after Brûlée for them to take. The rest of the crew was already getting to work. She thought about organizing her girls and doing some cheers to boost morale when she caught a glimpse of something odd. She turned to face that full length mirror that they had lugged with them. She looked at herself and adjusted her mask.

She got very close and pretended to be looking for a loose eyelash and that’s when she saw a faint image of a belt buckle. It was very faint, like looking into a murky pond but she was almost positive that was Katakuri crouched down and watching them. She stepped back and gave a twirl, still pretending she didn’t know he was there. She picked at her gloves and tugged on the open edges of her jumpsuit. She could now see his outline and saw him leaning over to try and see past her. She moved to obstruct him again and tapped the toe of her boot on the ground. He leaned the other way and she blocked him again. She was finally going to jump through and confront him but was startled by Foxy.

“Porche!” He called, and automatically she sharply turned and saluted him while still standing on one leg. This was not as graceful as it should have been and she quickly lost her balance.

“Yes Boss-“ She replied as she stumbled backwards through the mirror and directly into Katakuri’s waiting hands. She blinked and quickly popped her head back through the mirror. “Sorry, what is it?” She asked but the Boss was already chatting with Brûlée about how her powers worked. She rolled her eyes and pulled her head back through as she gave the massive man an apologetic smile. She had a hard time discerning what he was feeling because of that stupid scarf covering his face so she opted for her usual tactic, flirting. “Oh, thank you for catching me in your big strong arms, Mr.??”

“Katakuri.” He deadpanned and she quickly tried to think of another tactic. She had suspected it wouldn't work but it had been worth a shot.

“Katakuri, that’s a funny name.” She said and she watched his eyes narrow considerably, “Anyway, what are you doing hanging out in here?”

“That’s my business.”

“You’re keeping an eye on your sister, right?” She said and watched him turn his head to the side. She could see a slight blush creeping up the exposed part of his face. Given his reputation she’d have thought he would be better at lying. “So, you’ve been eavesdropping on her and the boss. Learn anything fun?” She teased. He was menacing but she was fairly certain he was the archetypal protective big brother from what she had seen when they first met. So, she assumed that it was extremely unlikely he would do anything to hurt her.

“No, I wasn’t.” He said and Porche gave him a disapproving look.

“Don’t lie. I bet you followed right behind us. Why else would Brûlée come with us by herself?” She said and he looked at her in what she guessed was surprise and she smirked. It was then she felt a hand grab the back of her jumpsuit. She yelped and grabbed onto Katakuri’s upper arms as she was pulled backwards. She leaned her head back to meet eyes with Brûlée who was looking less than pleased.

“One sec.” Porche said as she popped her head back through. “You got it?” She asked and Katakuri slowly blinked at her before nodding as he struggled to his feet. Porche lowered her hands to his waist as he stood, placing his massive hands on her shoulders. She grabbed his wrists and lifted them above her head as she bent down to pick up his trident. She stepped backwards and gently led Katakuri through, still holding his wrists. Once they were both through she extended his trident to him. There was a beat of silence. “What? You’re recovering from an injury, right? It’s nice to have help even when it’s not necessary.” She said and smiled at him. He just stood there looking down at her for probably way too long. “Stop being weird and take the trident.” With that he took it and she turned to go find the boss and leave Katakuri to get chewed out by his sister.

“Thanks.” He said and she smiled back at him causing Brûlée’s chastising to come to an abrupt but brief stop.

Chapter Text

   Brûlée had every right to be angry with him. Not just because he blatantly ignored her request to go back to the infirmary. He had to admit he was starting to feel considerably more guilt about it as he realized he was setting a bad example that his brothers were following. But besides all of that, he had known she was in no danger from the gaggle of oddballs that made up the Foxy Pirates. He’d seen that as soon as he watched them bring her a chair, and of course saw nothing even remotely malicious with his haki.

Porche had been entirely correct in that he was eavesdropping. Foxy had piqued his interest when he stood up for Brûlée at the meeting, which he himself had intended to do in the first place. He was quite tired of his siblings over-reliance on him, especially when he was used to put down other people; siblings or otherwise. Regardless, while it was in all likelihood a ploy to get in his sister’s good graces his crew was indeed rebuilding their home. He knew that of course it was the best way to show off his crew and incentivize them into a Davy Back Fight, case in point Big Pan. His presence alone was enough to all but ensure that they would indeed be taking part. And yet, he couldn’t help but be a little bit taken with them. It hadn’t helped that when Foxy had mentioned knowing Luffy that he was perhaps hoping to learn about what that Davy Back Fight had been like. He’d already pressed a few of his siblings for what their encounters with Luffy had been like. He was starting to worry they were catching on that sudden interest in Luffy’s exploits wasn’t really vengeance oriented. Katakuri was fascinated by the man, his ability to live as himself without fear. He was like a human typhoon. Brûlée had teased him about his borderline obsession but he didn’t care, she was allowed. He was pulled from his thoughts by Brûlée speaking.

“You haven’t been listening to a word I said, have you?”

“No, I have.” He lied, “I’m sorry for my behavior, and for disobeying you, again.” He’d already known Brûlée would find him and he’d already heard her scolding, opting to not listen a second time. However, Porche being the reason he was caught had been an unexpected twist and so too was how she spoke to him. She didn’t have an ounce of fear, which he oddly respected. Unlike Flampe her brattiness was tempered with a bit of what appeared to be genuine kindness. His sister sighed.

“I appreciate your concern Kata, but you and I-“ She paused and noted that he wasn’t paying attention again. “Luffy.” Katakuri snapped to attention and Brûlée grimaced at him. “I am starting to get concerned about your little crush on that boy.”

“It’s not-!” He yelled and then corrected his tone, “We are in public.” He whispered.

“Well, that wouldn’t be a problem if you were back laying in bed resting. In the infirmary. Where I told you to go back too!” She said, her tone getting more forceful as she spoke. Once, again he very much understood her anger.

“Shouldn’t you be scolding Cracker and Oven too?” He mumbled. Brûlée stopped and folded her arms.

“You’re really asking me that?” The second the words left her mouth he averted his gaze. He chose to see how reconstruction was going and he blinked. Surely, he’d just used his haki on accident. The chateau appeared to be fully repaired. He paused, that wouldn’t have been possible even if he had.

“What?” He said pointing at the chateau.

“It’s called a morale boost.” Porche said and Katakuri jumped in surprise. Brûlée looked at him, eyebrow quirked.

“Whatever, I’m just accepting it. It’s not worth the energy. Besides Kata, you’re the one that’s supposed to know better.” She said and Porche stood, pompoms in hand, looking between the 2 as if waiting to be included in the conversation. Katakuri used his haki and didn’t foresee her leaving anytime soon. He grimaced at what he did see, so he made an attempt at changing it.

“This is a private conversation.” He deadpanned at Porche.

“Pfft, hardly.” Brûlée said.

“Aw, I think it’s kinda sweet. Being worried about your little sister and all~.” Porche said.

“Mmm, while normally true. I think he’s more interested in your crew’s run in with a certain pirate.” Brûlée said and Katakuri didn’t appreciate her honesty.

“Don’t.” He warned. His sister smirked at him.

“Luffy you mean? That was a couple years ago, and our captain tried his best.” Porche started and Katakuri could feel himself staring at her so intently he was worried he’d bore a hole through her. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, “It all came down to the final combat section between the Boss and him. No one really saw the full thing but, most of the crew was rooting for Strawhat by the end.” She said pouting at the memory, “Boss was bitter about it for a while too.

“Why were they rooting for Luffy?” Katakuri asked though he could fully understand why.

“Hm, he said he wouldn’t let us take anyone from his crew even if it killed him.” She said and Katakuri let out a laugh.

“That tracks!” He said happily, forgetting momentarily that he rarely did things like this publicly or at all really.

“Who did you take from them?” She asked. He paused and responded bluntly.

“The cook.”

“Ah, he’s not a bad one to take. Too bad it didn’t work out for you.” Her tone was a bit different now, it felt like a veiled threat. He was starting to get concerned, did this woman have observation haki too? Was she outplaying him? Maybe he was mentally crumpling after years of putting up that facade of perfection. His inner turmoil turned outward as Foxy wandered over to them.

“Feh feh feh, these two seem to be hitting it off huh?” He grinned and Katakuri didn’t know what to do. This was entirely different from what he'd seen.

“Of course we are, Boss ❤️. Not even a big old grouch like Kata is immune to my charms ~❤️.” She said, wiggling around like some kind of tropical bird.

“It’s Katakuri, and I am not a grouch.” He said glowering down at her.

“Sure.” Brûlée said thoroughly unconvinced, “Anyway, what’s the protocol for starting one of these Davy Back Fights anyway?” She asked casually and Katakuri had turned to internal screaming. This was not what he wanted to happen at all. He couldn’t focus to see how to avoid this travesty. He thought about sucker punching Foxy right then and there but, then Brûlée would be even angrier with him. It seemed like a risk he would have to take. He balled his fist numbly preparing a punch that would hopefully not cave Foxy’s skull in. Porche then gently grabbed his fist with both of her hands.

“You’re so tense. You look like you’re going to pop a blood vessel. Maybe you should sit down?” She asked, the innocent lilt in her voice returned and betrayed nothing.

“Okay.” He said, before he could stop himself, “Foxy’s pistol is jammed, I wouldn’t let him fire it.” He continued and Porche looked over to her captain. He’d already handed Brûlée a pistol that she was pointing at his chest.

“You’re really trusting me not to kill you with this?” She asked mockingly.

“Trust is not the word. Besides, I’m too ruggedly handsome for you to shoot.” He said and she cocked the gun. Foxy meekly raised his own pistol into the air. “On, on three, okay?”

“Sure.” She smirked as he used a single finger to point her pistol upwards. She rolled her eyes and properly aimed it skyward.

“Boss, hold on.” Porche said nervously.

“Oh, don’t interrupt Porche. I have everything handled.” He said accompanied by a click and Brûlée firing a shot. Foxy pulled his pistol back down and looked down the barrel. “Must be jammed.”

“Boss!” Porche yelled as the pistol fired and Foxy’s face was blacked from the blast. Otherwise he seemed fine some how. Katakuri had expected as much. Not he would have intervened if he saw Foxy’s head blow off. He had honestly just wanted to test if Porche thought he was bluffing. Distantly he thought he heard Hamburg laughing somewhere. He furrowed his brows in confusion at being unable to locate the man.

“Well, I got what I wanted out of that.” Brûlée said and Foxy stood proud despite his disheveled appearance.

“Feh, feh, then perhaps it’s my turn. Let the Davy Back Fight commence!” He yelled as a puff of black smoke escaped his mouth. Katakuri felt like he was going to throw up because of how badly that had gone.

Chapter Text

   “This is a bad idea.” Katakuri said and Brûlée rolled her eyes. She’d seen enough of Kata’s palling around with Porche. Besides that Foxy’s crew had to be at least somewhat exhausted from all that construction. So, it seemed simple to have the stupid Davy Back Fight now; take the wotan and then boot the rest out of Tottoland without a big fuss. Besides that she didn’t trust Katakuri’s judgment right now. The whole crew was still a disgruntled mess but she was just trying to cross off the problems she could actually solve. Foxy would be a quick fix and then she’d move on to more important things. Unfortunately, now that the remainder of the crew had gathered there was a whole lot more bickering than she’d anticipated.

“What happens if we lose someone? Mama would kill us.” Prim said.

“She’s focused on other things and trust me we aren’t losing to those bozos.” Brûlée said and heard the outcry of the Foxy pirates behind her. 

“Can I play? I wanna play!” Anana said excitedly.

“Hmm.” Brûlée said, knowing that despite Anana being the youngest on the crew her violent tendencies would almost certainly catch the Foxy pirates off guard. However, she wasn’t quite certain if they were above hurting a child. She nervously itched her scar as she looked over at Foxy still depressed on the ground. He tilted his head up and met her gaze, the frown etched across his face somehow seemed to deepen. Her fingers dragged down her face as she felt Anana grab her other hand.

“Please Big Sis Brûlée.” She pleaded and tugged on her hand.

“Anana…” She started and trailed off, despite how harmless the Foxy Pirates seemed she had to remember that the weakest pirates often stoop to the lowest of tactics.

“Who do we have here?” Foxy said, kneeling down to Anana’s eye level. Brûlée froze, She had no idea what he was about to do. 

“Anana.” The girl replied simply.

“Well Anana, I’m Captain Foxy.” 

“You’re a captain, but you’re so small and funny looking.” She said with genuine awe. Foxy to his credit powered through her insults but Brûlée could see that odd depressive aura surrounding him.

“Yes.” He said the word coming out was so choked that Brûlée had to fight back intense laughter. “Anyway, how old are you Anana?” Rather than a verbal response she held up “8” fingers.

“How old are you? 50?” Anana asked once again, oblivious to the blow she landed on his pride.

“No-“

“60?” She guessed and Brûlée brought her hands to cover her face to contain the laughter. “7-”

“Stop guessing.” Foxy finally cut her off, “I’m 38, three eight, not 70!”

“38?” Brûlée said, dropping her hands and looking at him again. He looked terrible for a man under 40.

“You’re old.” Anana said, and Foxy was clearly losing patience.

“And you’re rude. But so is your… mother?” Foxy said and Brûlée returned a confused look. Why was he looking at her? And then it clicked in her head.

“Oh! No, I mean. She’s my little sister and I-I don’t have children.” She quickly fumbled out the words and Foxy stood bolt upright and stuck his arms straight up in the air like he was at gunpoint. Her face turned beet red as he spoke.

“Oh! I mean, I thought. You could have, not to imply- Carry on, I was never here. Forget I said anything, pick your people or whatever, good luck!” He said swiftly walking directly backwards towards his crew. He then paused and returned, “ Nice to meet you Anana.” He said, shaking the small child’s hand briefly before bolting away. 

The eerie silence that settled before she turned back and braced herself for what was sure to follow. The entire crew was huddled around her, staring and waiting for someone to break the silence. That person was unfortunately Oven muffling some kind of outburst, other siblings were trying to cover snickers and smiles. Brûlée knew Oven was well aware that he should keep his mouth shut, unfortunately he was incapable of doing so.

“Aw come on sis, you gotta admit it’s a pretty easy mistake to make.” He started and Brûlée wanted to wrap her hands around his thick stupid neck.

“Do not.” She warned.

“Oh come on. He like likes you.” He said it and Brûlée watched Prim smack him on the chest.

“Oven. What are you, 5?” She hissed.

“You’re all thinkin’ it!“ He said, “Why don’t you just call Mom, tell her about the wotan and arrange a quick marriage to that guy and be done with it?”

“Because, he’s, um, well.” She stuttered, still embarrassed and a little annoyed that Oven had indeed come up with a rather simple solution. She likely dismissed it because she’d rather not have to feign interest for an extended period of time. Yes, that was it. She wasn’t afraid of being ridiculed or of that dopey little man getting hurt at all. She just didn’t like him, even though she was still thinking about how he picked up on her concern for Anana. Just the thought had her feeling something, and she refused to admit that that something was affection.

“Oven, you’re in round one.” She stated, putting his name down on the prepared document they had for this thing. Odd, odd people.

“What? That’s not fair.” He whined, “I’m not even that good at running.” Brûlée had actually forgotten that Foxy stated what the three different rounds of the Davy Back Fight were. Race, Groggy Ring (whatever the hell that ment), and Combat.

“Here, to make this go faster I’ll volunteer for round one. That way our bases are covered if it’s on water.” Prim said. Brûlée hadn’t even thought about that.

“Okay, one more. Moscato? You feeling up for it.” Brûlée said and she could see the resigned sadness etched into his face. The experience of having your soul ripped from your body and then put back is traumatizing but at some point he was going to have to at least try and move past it. Mama usually didn’t mean to do it and that’s about the only comfort any of them could get about it. Moscato nodded meekly and she took it as progress.

“Next is round 2, now- ” Brûlée was cut off by Snack.

“This is stupid, we should not be playing games with a bunch of idiots.”

“So nice of you to volunteer.” Cracker said and Brûlée did laugh at that.

“Oh, me too. I wanna play!” Anana said, jumping up and down with excitement. 

“Hey, I did not-!” Snack was talked over by Cracker.

“Put me in too, that way we can protect her. We’re both Sweet Commanders after all.” He said winking at Brûlée.

“That’s true, with Smoothie in Wano I need someone to fill that role.” She said and Snack started mulling over the reinstatement of his title.

“Alright, you are the acting captain and who am I to disobey orders?” Snack relented although it was clearly stroking his ego. Anana was jumping up and down cheering, none of the other much younger siblings wanted to participate which Brûlée was thankful for. That just left Combat.

“I’ll do combat.” Katakuri stated and Brûlée shook her head.

“No.” She replied.

“Oven, and Cracker are participating. You can’t say I’m worse off then they are.” He said.

“No, Kata. I want to do combat.” She said and the crew looked at her. A long stretch of silence followed.

“You?” They mumbled collectively.

“He’s caused me enough trouble that I want to take a crack at him and besides I think can take him.” Brûlée said confidently.

“…You mean in a fight, right?” Cracker said jokingly and Brûlée just stared at him as said nothing. “No, sis please. You HAVE to clarify.” She chose not to dignify him with a response as she walked over to the Foxy pirates to inform them that they were done selecting their roster.

Chapter Text

    Foxy had to admire Brûlée’s ability to adapt to his crew’s quirks rather quickly. She didn’t even comment about them building a stage and their usual vendor booths for the Davy Back Fight. She definitely noticed as she climbed onto the stage rather than using the steps to get to him. It was not at all dainty and he was definitely not thinking about seeing her exposed leg as she hoisted herself up. Alright maybe he was a bit distracted because he didn’t hear a single word she said to him.

“Hm?” He said and she sighed.

“We picked out our participants. You have yours already?” Brûlée said.

“Yes, we do. Shall we start?” He said, staring at her waist instead of her face. He’d already forgotten how tall she was and finally looked up at her properly.

“Yes, let’s.” She said rather curtly. Foxy called over Porche and told her to get Itomimizu and everyone else ready. He also had to prompt Brûlée for her list of people. She likely didn’t anticipate an announcer needing to read it off, perhaps he should have specified.

“Okay, boss~.” She said doing a cutesy salute and running off.

“There’s a certain pageantry to this whole thing, you understand. It shouldn’t take her long.” He said, “Something the matter?” He asked. She’d seemed more irritated than usual. She was picking at her fingernails and had a general look of discomfort.

“What were you thinking about when I came up to you?” She asked and he stupidly answered honestly.

“You.” He watched her turn red as she scolded him.

“That’s not funny.” She huffed and Foxy frowned. He didn’t want her to think she was being mocked, so he elaborated.

“That wasn’t a joke. I was thinking about why you didn’t walk those beautiful legs up the stairs instead of hoisting them over the edge of the stage.” He paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had meant to exclude mentioning her legs. This woman made him so, so dumb. She rolled her eyes.

“Cut the crap, aren’t we past the empty flattery stage? No one else is even paying attention, there's no benefit to you saying crap like that.” She said, her tone bitter but her face flushed.

“I consider making you blush a benefit and I’d hardly call it empty.” He smirked up at her and she naturally leaned down as his voice lowered to just above a whisper, “If you want I can really flatter you later. When you join my crew.” Brûlée was utterly speechless and horribly flustered. At least he’d thought that until she grabbed him by the lapels again and yanked up off the ground.

“I’m going to enjoy knocking your teeth out of your skull.” She hissed into his face. He tilted his head so their noses wouldn’t collide into each other and he took in her smell. It was a mixture of vanilla frosting and willow leaves so strange and yet that was her essence. At first he’d thought her coy flirtation was simply a necessary front, she likely had a spouse and was playing into his interest just to get what she wanted. It was quickly becoming clear to him that this beautiful woman was not only single but desperately starved of genuine affection. He now understood that a handsome man such as himself must’ve seemed out of reach to her. When someone has been presented with so many toads it's hard to accept the affection of a prince. Well, he’d have to fix that right away.

“Is it truly so hard to believe that I actually like you? Because a beautiful woman such-” He started and Brûlée shook him violently. 

“Stop it, stop it, stop it.” She mumbled through gritted teeth, she looked to be on the verge of tears. “I don’t want to hear it.” She finished and thankfully stopped shaking him. This was a rare instance where he felt guilty, especially because he’d never expected a little flirting to cause so much turmoil with her. She really didn’t need to like him at this point, he’d become cornered with making her understand that he was not faking anything. Clearly, his stellar acting skills had come back to haunt him.

“Then what can I do to prove it to you?” He said; knowing full well that she could command him to throw the Davy Back Fight and he’d have to reject her, proving her right. Instead she grimaced as she closed the distance between them. Her gaze was still paralyzingly angry as he felt his eyes blown wide in shock. His surprise gave way rather quickly as he focused on her soft lips pressing against his. He felt his arms trembling as he brought them to the back of her head and shoulder. He let his eyes slip closed as he reciprocated the kiss. Tentatively pressing his tongue against her lips. She made a noise of something, he wasn’t thinking too hard about it but she parted her lips and slipped her tongue into his mouth. He moaned and then felt embarrassed that he moaned; it had been muffled but still.

She dipped him with incredible ease and he found he really didn’t mind it. Brûlée was kissing him with full tongue and he felt like he could pass out from how happy he was that they were now undeniably on the same page at least as far as lust was concerned which was a victory in his eyes. She dragged her tongue across the roof of his mouth before breaking the kiss and they just looked at each other. Foxy sighed as Brûlée gently lowered him to the ground. She looked dazed as she gently touched her lips. Foxy wanted to tell her how he hadn’t been kissed like that in years,(at least by a woman anyway) but, it was then that Porche returned. They both stared blankly at the first mate as she strolled back onto the stage momentarily oblivious of the two captains.

“We’re all set Boss. Uh what’s going on with your lips?” She said and Foxy only then remembered that Brûlée was wearing lipstick.

“Oh, that. I was stung by a bee.” Foxy lied.

“Specifically on the lips?” Porche asked, clearly not buying it.

“Yes.” Brûlée said, “He was.”

“It was a big bee.” Foxy said and Porche just smacked her lips and went behind the curtain, “Do you think-?” He whispered.

“Here wipe the bee sting off your face before we get started.” She said and walked to the edge of the stage and whistled to get the crowd surrounding the stage to pay attention. Foxy began frantically wiping his face and Brûlée still looked a little embarrassed about the whole thing. Despite her trying to cover mouth with her hand she was smiling. He resolved at that moment to do everything in his power to keep that smile on her face.

Chapter Text

    Brûlée stood watching the pageantry as Foxy put it, of this whole Davy Back Fight. Watching them toss the three coins in the ocean was cheesy but she supposed it was tradition. She wasn’t very concerned about it really, she was a bit giddy about that stupid kiss. Had kissing him been the smartest thing to do? No, not by a long shot. She’d thought he’d finally break the facade and she’d be able to finally focus. Unfortunately, she seemed to be excelling at making decisions that blew up in her face lately.

Perhaps Oven had been correct and she shouldn’t have been so hasty to get into a fight. It mattered little now, as she stared up at the announcer. The speakers carried his voice easily as he announced the participants for both sides. She recognized most of the Foxy pirates that were picked, Porche in round one. Big Pan and Hamberg in round two and of course, Foxy in round three. She vaguely gazed across the crowd to try and figure out who the others were but it was fairly fruitless in the sea of people. Brûlée finally gave up trying and caught Foxy’s flabbergasted face. She didn’t even have to ask the question as he stammered out exactly what was on his mind.

“Y-you weren’t kidding?” He said, and she rolled her eyes. Her infatuation was diminishing by the second.

“If it upsets you that badly, I can just swap out-” Brûlée started before he cut her off.

“Um, you can’t actually. It’s against the rules.”

“Oh, well. If you insist.” She sighed and looked back out into the crowd. “So, the barrel race is first?”

“Yes, yes! Come on everyone!” Foxy yelled and the Foxy Pirates followed him to the shore. Brûlée rejoined her family. 

“Is it just me or did he seem more out of it than usual?” Cracker asked and Brûlée just shrugged.

“Can’t say I noticed.” She said as she made to follow after the Foxy Pirates. Oven, Prim, and Moscato were pulled aside to build their raft. She decided to leave them to it and check on Katakuri. He was pouting from a chair that someone clearly brought over for him as it was comically small for a man of his size. He still sat in an abnormal uncomfortable looking position with his  legs spread and arms crossed.

“You’re not beating the grouch allegations when you sit like that.” She said and Kata simply glanced at her and then returned to watching whatever he was before. Brûlée scoffed before following his gaze. Porche and a fishman were already out on the water in a raft that was being pulled by a star patterned fish. She supposed it made sense that they just reused the same raft whenever possible. Glancing at Oven and the others had been a mistake as he and Moscato were fighting and Prim was trying desperately to tie what looked like the remains of two barrels together. Pretending she didn’t see that she looked back out on the water. Porche was waving to the crowd and blowing kisses to no one in particular. She stopped as the raft passed Katakuri on the shore.

“Hey! You better root for me too, Kata~❤️” She yelled and blew him a very pointed kiss. He continued to pout even harder and if he could have slumped back in the chair he would have. Brûlée snickered at him, he’d clearly seen it coming and resigned himself to his fate.

“She’s really gotten in your head, huh?” Brûlée said and Katakuri glared at her but there was no real anger in his eyes. His body language changed as he quirked an eyebrow. “What is there-” She stared but the question died in her throat as she realized she never fixed her lipstick and if anyone was going to notice it would be Katakuri. “Don’t get mad.” She grabbed his shoulder before he could stand up. Katakuri’s shoulders shook but instead of anger he gave a soft chuckle as he glanced towards Foxy. If Foxy noticed he was ignoring it, although she could see sweat beading down his forehead.

“So, the fox bit you?” Katakuri rhetorically stated.

“Don’t give him any credit, I initiated if you must know.” She whispered back and Katakuri’s features shifted as he shot her a look that she knew was disgust.

“Why would you tell me that?” He said much too loudly and now other people were looking at them, “Nevermind, don’t elaborate. Ever. Please and thank you.”

“I don’t appreciate this reaction.” Brûlée said.

“I don’t want to picture you doing that with anyone, to be fair.” He said, wincing and she rolled her eyes.

“Honestly it…” She trailed off as she connected the wince to her elaborating, “Whatever, just keep it to yourself.” She finished and Kata nodded, obviously not wanting this conversation to go on any longer. Thankfully for Katakuri, they were immediately distracted by the absolute monstrosity that bobbed past in the water. Prim was behind it in the water pushing it forward as Moscato stood on a rickety piece of the “raft” and tried to paddle it forward with an oar. Oven was crouched on another corner and looked like a cat about to be given a bath. He was also not helping in the slightest. Brûlée sighed, Katakuri had been right.

“I told you this was a bad idea.” Katakuri said in his usual monotone.

“They’ll be fine.” She grumbled as they lined up at the starting line by Porche’s group. Foxy and Hamberg stood a small distance away from them and Brûlée caught them mumbling about something. She decided it was worth it to intrude on their conversation.

“…sure boss?” Hamberg said.

“Absolutely, while I question their general competence.” He paused looking at the disaster raft bobbing in the water, “I don’t dare question their brutality. So, we keep the guns out of it.” Foxy finished as Brûlée made her presence known.

“Not a bad assessment to be honest.” Brûlée said and Foxy jumped a foot in the air. Hamberg stifled a laugh as Foxy came down shouting.

“Don’t do that!”

“Walk over at a leisurely pace, a bit nervous aren’t we?” She said

“Yes, I mean no? Wait if it’s aren’t it’s -,nevermind. No, I’m not nervous!” He said, “Do you need a mirror to fix that?” He pointed to her lips and she tried her best not to blush. It couldn’t have been that obvious, even Katakuri didn’t notice right away and no one else had said anything.

“Nah, I got it.” She proceeded to conjure a small mirror with a single hand. She inspected her face and her lipstick was indeed extremely smeared around her mouth. She grimaced as she began wiping off a bit that was trying to escape to her chin. She was a little mad knowing her family would just let her walk around like that but it passed quickly. She reached into the mirror and procured her lipstick to reapply it and glanced down at Foxy. He looked awe struck and she tried to stop the smile from creeping up her face.

“You can just do that?!” He said and she huffed.

“Yes, it takes a bit more concentration to do depending on the size though.” She said and playfully added, “I suppose that’s true of a lot of things.” He didn’t react and she just let it go as she put the lipstick away and dispelled the mirror. Hamberg looked visibly uncomfortable and she then felt a little bad. Brûlée was very used to being the third wheel and thus being subjected to some truly awful flirtation that, while not directed towards her, had still made her skin crawl to even hear. She watched the proverbial lightbulb turn on in Foxy’s head but his response was totally cut off by Itomimizu.

“The contestants are lined up at the starting line for the Foxy Pirates, Porche, Capote, and Monda in the Cutie Wagon!” He said and ruckus cheers rang out from the Foxy Pirates. “And for the Big Mom Pirates, Charlotte Oven, Moscato, and Prim in the uh…their raft.” He finished and nervous haphazard cheers came from her crew and family. Brûlée buried her face in her hands and she heard the starting pistol fire. She didn’t dare look at the shambling start that she had expected. The shouting and panic that began to unfold around her quickly drew her attention. Prim had jumped out of the water and held onto Oven as he submerged his hands in the water. He’d begun boiling the water around the rafts which was probably not good for them but it was much worse for that poor fish in the water.

“Monda!” Porche screamed as her and Capote frantically began trying to pull the fish from the boiling sea. Capote recoiled instinctively from the bubbling water but Porche practically dove in onto the water to grab Monda. She successfully pulled the fish from the water and Capote helped her get him into the Cutie Wagon. The upsetting visual of that fish flopping around in that raft with the sad whimpering of Porche as she quickly peeled off her gloves. Moscato looked horrified both at the boiling water surrounding their shoddy raft and what was happening in the other raft. Prim sucked in a breath as she helped Oven out the water. He looked back at the shore looking for guidance because there clearly was no plan for what they were going to do after they boiled the water around them.

“Porche! Are you okay?” Capote asked as Porche stood up and peeled her jumpsuit off. Brûlée was confused before she saw the red patches of skin that were down her front and her arms. She glanced down at Foxy and he was speechless.

“I think so.” She said her smile was big but nervous. Thankfully Katakuri was already handling it, he’d stretched his arm out to grab the Cutie Wagon and pull it ashore. Brûlée trailed behind Foxy and Hamberg as they ran over to them. Capote was ready to jump out of the raft but Porche was holding him back.

“You’re hurt Porche! Winning is not worth making it worse!” Capote shouted.

“No! No! We can finish! Look Monda is okay!” She argued and true enough a few crew members had already grabbed Monda and placed him in a cooler part of the shoreline and he seemed to be doing just fine.

“Step out the raft Porche.” Foxy said, as he nodded to some of the medics on standby.

“But Boss, we lose if I do that.” She pouted and Foxy stomped his foot and fired back.

“Don’t you think I know that?! Now don’t make me say it again!” He finished. Porche nodded sadly as Capote and Hamberg gingerly helped her onto dry land. She looked pretty bizarre standing there without the jumpsuit, a bikini and riding boots was something Brûlée would have openly laughed at under different circumstances. Porche didn’t seem to have trouble walking as she offered a weak smile to the crowd.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to let you all down~❤️” She said to the crowd, trying to imitate her typical flair but disappointment was clear in her voice. With that she disappeared into a med bay tent and the fallout was immediate. The Foxy Pirates began rioting against Oven and the others still in the raft. Brûlée did note that some of her own crew seemed just as angry at them.

“Knock it off! Everyone, shut up and listen!” Foxy somehow shouted over the next disaster waiting to happen, “We may not like it but a win, is a win. There’s no point in anyone else getting hurt. Besides, we still have two more rounds to win!” The anger turned to inspired cheering as the crowd began to file back to the main stage. Foxy lingered and Brûlée felt awful. She approached him and he silently held up a hand to her.

“…Well folks, that was a sorry start for the Foxy Pirates as it’s a loss by forfeit. The Big Mom Pirates have taken a win and that means one us joining their crew. But it’s still anyone’s game!” Itomimizu said, his voice booming out for all to hear. Once he finished, Foxy lowered his hand but still didn’t speak to her.

“I didn’t know Oven was going to do that.” She said and Foxy tisked at her.

“Save it. That’s the nature of playing to win.” He spoke to her coldly and despite this being a pirate game, he had every right to be angry. She sighed as she spotted Kata standing by the Cutie Wagon still. He hadn’t moved since he pulled it ashore. She glanced back at Moscato and the others, they were clearly laying into Oven as they were desperately trying to get to shore. Oven looked completely devastated. Brûlée doubted if it was out of genuine remorse but at least he knew he’d majorly pissed everyone off.

“You’re not the only person mad at Oven.” She settled on saying, “That was completely reckless and he could have hurt everyone in the water, not just your crew.” Her voice took on a bitter tone, as she realized this really was her fault. She knew Oven, this was exactly the type of reckless behavior she’d always seen him pull. Katakuri either didn’t catch it or couldn’t intervene in a meaningful way. Or maybe it would have happened regardless of him. She sighed.

“When you’re ready to make your selection, bring your crew to the stage.” He said, walking away though she didn’t try to follow behind him. She needed a minute to recollect her thoughts. To her surprise, Capote approached her.

“Uh, hello. Um, can you tell your brother thank you for pulling us out of that mess?” He said and Brûlée was puzzled.

“Kata? He was just trying to clean up our mess, like usual. And you can tell him yourself.” She said.

“Oh, I did but he didn’t respond so I wasn’t sure if he heard me.” He said, and Brûlée rolled her eyes, “Also don’t mind the captain, he’s a sore…well I was gonna say loser, but he’s a sore winner too.”

“You could have been boiled alive, why in the hell are you giving me a pep talk?” Brûlée said.

“Listen, I’ve seen a lot of Davy Back Fights. Usually, we’re the ones inflicting the injuries.” He said and pointed at the raft, “Uh, I don’t think that’s going to hold.” She followed his gesture and saw Prim and Mocasto on dry land. However, the raft which Oven was still standing on, was splitting apart at the seams. Within seconds Oven was in the water drowning and everyone was arguing about who was going to get him out rather than helping.

“Fine, I’ll get him. But you owe me one.” Prim said gently dipping a tentacle in the water before recoiling, “Ouch! That’s still way too hot!”

“I’ll get him!” Capote said as he dove into the water, much to Brûlée’s complete shock.

“His funeral.” Prim said. Brûlée ran to the water’s edge, she couldn’t see anything and she looked to Moscato for help. He only shrugged, but at least he had the decency to look upset. 

“Over here Brûlée!” She heard Kata yell and she sprinted down to where he was. It was a bit further down from where the Cutie Wagon was docked and she was quick enough to see the fishman emerge with Oven in tow. Despite their massive size difference, Capote had Oven slung over his shoulder with relative ease. The larger man was gasping for breath as he began to struggle in Capote’s grasp.

“Oh thank goodness you’re alright.” Brûlée said as she began to inspect them both. They were both soaked, but otherwise unharmed.

“Y-yeah! Course.” Capote said, his expression falling.

“Thank you so much, for saving my idiot big brother!” She said feeling happy tears pricking in her eyes.

“No problem! He’s a jerk but letting him drown would be a little harsh.” Capote said, blush creeping over his features as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Unhand me, you overgrown tuna!” Oven hoarsely yelled as he squirmed. He looked like a child trying to avoid a spanking with his limbs thrashing about with no real force.

“Yes, thank you.” Katakuri said to Capote, ignoring Oven’s outburst. Capote nodded as he gave Oven a smack on the backside, like a construction worker would with building materials.

“I’ll take him over to the med bay, just to be safe. And while we’re there you can apologize to Porche.” Capote said as he walked away from the other two siblings. Oven looked completely dumbstruck as he completely stopped thrashing and let himself be carried off. Brûlée watched Katakuri follow and before she even got the words out of her mouth he answered her question.

“I’m finally listening to you and going to the infirmary.” He said, and Brûlée huffed as she rubbed her temple. This day was too damn long.

Chapter Text

    Porche sat on a cot in the infirmary, sulking. Hamburg tried to cheer her up but she couldn’t even pretend. So he sat next to her as she got checked out. She was fine, several cool cloths later and most of the skin irritation was gone. She’d put her jumpsuit back on and was waiting to hear about Monda’s condition, he was probably fine too. She felt bad that Boss had thrown the match over her, but really it was that dumb, mean, stupid, and kinda ugly Oven’s fault. Idiot could have killed them. She was getting madder just thinking about it. It was then that Capote walked in through the flaps of the tent and she smiled. Capote was generally dependable and he was one of her closest friends aside from Hamburg and Boss. She was glad he was okay. Her face instantly dropped when she realized he was lugging Oven in over his shoulder.

“Get him out of here Capote.” She said, unimpressed by whatever this gesture was supposed to be.

“Relax, I brought him here cause he almost drowned.” Capote said, grin big as ever.

“Good.” Porche said.

“You don’t mean that, and he can also apologize to you now.” Capote continued and gently set Oven down on a cot opposite from her. Hamburg was nervously looking between the two sides of the room. Porche didn’t blame him because she wanted to explode on both of those two idiots. This was a new aspect to Capote that she couldn’t stand, he was becoming too fixated on keeping her happy. So, he did things that he thought she’d like, which was nice at first. Over time it had evolved into doing and saying things for her. Like this, she didn’t want an apology. Why would she care about something so meaningless as an apology from a rival pirate? But Capote wanted him to apologize to her because it was important to him. This is exactly why they’d broken up so many times.

“I don’t want an apology, I want you to take him to one of the fifty other infirmary tents so I can sulk in peace.” She said and Capote did that tut that he always did when she said something he didn’t agree with.

“Well, I think-“ Capote started and she cut him off.

“You making him apologize to me is not an avenue for getting me to date you again.”

“Porche! That is a private matter and not-“ Capote said and was cut off again.

“The whole crew knows Capote! Why can’t you accept that we just don’t click like that?” She asked as Oven decided to open his mouth finally.

“Huh. Didn’t picture you as that type of girl.” He said.

“I don’t accept criticism from a man that dresses like a toddler pretending to be a superhero.” She said and saw a vein pulse in his head.

“Yeah, well; I never said I was actually going to apologize anyway. Cause I’m not sorry. We’re pirates, grow up!” He said, sticking his tongue out at her. Thankfully the tent flaps parted again and Katakuri stepped inside. Well, it was more like he crouched into the space. This tent wasn’t that tall, so it was a little undignified looking. He quickly went to sit on the cot next to Porche as the room was dead silent. She watched him go to sit on the end of it before pivoting to sitting on the side of it as he would have flipped it onto himself if he sat on the end. The dumb visual made her smile, even if it was only imagined. The room was still quiet as no one wanted to start the argument again. She knew those two idiots weren’t going to budge, no matter what she said. Hamburg was still in the corner, giving everyone a shifty gaze. Porche was half surprised that he was still here, but also half not. He probably was looking for juicy tidbits to whisper around the crew, nasty little gossip.

“My apologies, Porche.” Katakuri said, finally breaking the silence.

“Why are you apologizing? You pulled us to shore, it’s not like you have any control over that dumby.” She said, and used her thumb to point at Oven.

“Hey, I’m not going to let you talk to me that way!” Oven said turning pink all over.

“I know. But I saw what he was going to do and couldn’t think of a way to stop him.” He paused, “You’re going to ignite the cot if you don’t calm down.”

“Pfft, still not your fault. Besides, maybe your brother needs to use that pea brain in his head more.” She said and within seconds the cot Oven was on evaporated in a puff of flames as he fell onto the metal structural pieces that remained.

“Ow.” He said, and Porche giggled feeling she proved her point.

“Monda is alright by the way.” Katakuri said and Porche sighed in relief. A medic came in a moment later and relayed the same information and she tried to do the same exact response to see if Katakuri reacted. He didn’t, so she moved on.

“I don’t need your help, I’m a grown man.” Oven grumbled. Capote was trying and failing to help Oven up. Porche sighed and stood up, she was tired of being around those two.

“I need to get back to the Boss. Come on Hamburg!” She said pulling open the tent flap.

“Why? I mean, they’re picking Big Pan and your round is over. What could Foxy possibly need you for?” Katakuri said, calmly as ever.

“What?! That’s super duper not cool! Don’t you know that snipping players in an upcoming round is frowned upon?” She said and he didn’t even flinch.

“So? It’s not against the rules.” He said and Porche scowled.

“It’s lame. Don’t you want it to be a fair fight?” She said, knowing full well that was the absolute last thing any of the Foxy Pirates cared about. But it wasn’t very exciting seeing them get out played. Porche watched his demeanor shift and he got a little more serious looking.

“It’s not my call.” He said and she watched Hamburg lumber past her out of the tent. She looked over at Oven and Capote who had now managed to ensnare themselves in a divider curtain. The curtain was winning and she grimaced before walking over to Katakuri and grabbing his hand. He looked at her in befuddlement as he stood as much as the space allowed.

“You really don’t want to stay here. Trust me.” She said and shuddered as the fighting continued under the curtain. She led Kata out of the tent just in time to hear the announcement stating that Big Pan had indeed been chosen. The Groggy Ring match would start soon, and she should get back to the Boss. He needed a lot of moral support, especially right now. Porche came back to reality as she felt Katakuri’s thumb nervously rubbing against her hand. Oh yeah, she was still holding his hand. His very big hand. She wondered if he was proportional. Porche shook her head and squeezed his hand leading him in a direction, she didn’t really care which.

“We’re going the wrong way.” He said and she looked back at him. He was walking around much better now and she was happy about that.

“I know.” She lied and hoped that if she kept going she’d get less flustered.

“You’re not letting go of my hand.” He said and it wasn’t a question but she stopped walking to answer him anyway. As she turned she saw that the exposed part of his face was turning as pink as his hair, and she was sure she was just as bad. Although her irritated skin might’ve made it harder to tell. Itomimizu’s voice boomed out introducing the participants in the Groggy Ring match; she hoped Hamburg and Pickles could do it on their own.

Porche realized she’d gotten in her own head again as she focused on Katakuri. They were still holding hands which she was starting to feel a little silly about, as he was knelt in front of her. His free hand clutched his scarf and she tilted her head to the side. He was still really flushed and she was getting concerned that it wasn’t just embarrassment. Despite their still notable height difference, she could now reach his face. She reached out and pulled down the front of his scarf.

“You could breathe a lot easier if you didn’t have this big scarf…”She said and trailed off as she saw his mouth. It looked like a pelican eel with how sharp and prominent his teeth were along with the big scars along either side of his mouth. “In the way.” She absentmindedly finished her sentence as she took in the fact that she could see his whole face for the first time. His face was running the gambit of emotions, anger, embarrassment, confusion and so many others danced across his face. Porche felt like she could read every thought that was crossing his mind. His fingers were still curled into the scarf but he made no motion to cover his face.

It dawned on her that he had almost certainly let her do that. He bit his lower lip and looked to be on the verge of tears, it was clear to her this was an immensely personal act regardless of his reputation. She stepped closer and walked her gloved fingers up his chest and stopped them at his chin. He froze at the touch and Porche flashed a sly smile. She began tilting his head around, pretending to inspect it.

“What are you doing?” He asked, clearly getting fed up with her.

“Trying to find the right angle.” She said.

“What?” He said and she shrugged, leaning in and stopping inches away from his face.

“This is okay right?” She asked and Katakuri’s eyes were wide as his lips parted. He made a noise that sounded like approval and she decided she’d make it brief. She dropped his hand finally and cupped his cheeks. Porche closed the distance and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. His teeth were quite prickly but she kind of liked it. “I-“

“Please don’t follow me!” He yelled, pulling up his scarf and running back into the cluster of infirmary tents. Porche felt her heart drop as she stood along the shoreline.

“I’m sorry. I thought you liked me too.” She said to empty air as Katakuri was long gone. Porche slumped down to her knees and stared ahead vaguely aware of the sounds of the Davy Back Fight.

Chapter Text

    Foxy could not believe the audacity of that woman. First, she counter picked Big Pan and then she had the audacity to put an eight year old in the Davy Back Fight. He watched Pickles and Hamburg take the field. Hamburg was now the ball-man which Foxy thought could work out. 

“Hey! You can’t use any weapons!” Foxy yelled and Cracker scoffed.

“You can come pry Pretzel out of my cold dead hand!” Cracker said as he brandished the sword at him.

“I’ll hold it.” Brûlée said as Snack was already handing over his own sword.

“No way! I’m keeping it.” Cracker pouted.

“Then you’re booted.” Foxy said, crossing his arms.

“Cracker.” Brûlée said her tone firm. Cracker looked back at Anana who had elected herself ball-man despite literally everyone’s protests. She waved and Cracker freed the scabbard from his belt. “Give.” Brûlée stated as she held her open palm out. He gently placed the sword in her hand as he stomped over to his other two siblings.

“Are all of your siblings like this?” He asked, forgetting he was still trying to be angry and aloof.

“To an extent. Why? Worrying about your future in-laws?” She laughed at her own joke.

“Feh feh, very funny. I just wonder how you haven’t killed each other yet.” He said coolly, as he felt his face flush.

“It’s not for lack of trying. Say maybe you should sit in the shade while my brother’s pummel your crewmates. You’re looking pretty hot under the collar.” Brûlée finished as she flicked his collar and backed off. She readjusted her grip on the swords she was holding and flashed him a smug expression. Foxy stood with a slack jawed expression on his face. He was still mad about the barrel race fiasco but he was also intrigued with her trash talk.

“When I get you-“ Foxy started to say only to be cut off by Anana.

“Let’s start! Let’s start! Let’s start!” She yelled jumping up and down happily. 

“Okay!” The referee yelled as the players gathered around as he gave them instructions. Well, he mostly was giving Anana instructions because she kept interrupting him.

“So you put the human ball in the ring, that's the goal?” Brûlée asked, it was a simple question but he’d seen her concern about this earlier.

“Relax, my boys know better than to pile drive children.” Foxy said, trying to belay her worry. Brûlée didn’t seem convinced as she looked back to Anana. Hamburg stood in one of the mid-field rings as Pickles stood ready to push back the two brothers who were ready to charge. It was then that Porche came running up.

“Boss!” She looked out of breath as she slowed to a stop in front of the two captains.

“Porche! You know you don’t have to push yourself.” Foxy said and watched Pickles get full body tackled by the two Charlottes, “Oof.”

“I know. I just didn’t want to miss everything by sitting in that infirmary tent.” She said, and she still looked quite shaken but Foxy decided not to push her on it. Anana was now sitting in front of them on the grass. She tipped her head back and looked bored out of her mind.

“Big sis Bru, can I borrow a sword?” She asked.

“No, and I don’t care what Mama says, you’re too young to be playing with knives.” Brûlée responded.

“But how am I supposed to join in without a weapon?” Anana said dramatically flopping face down in the grass. Foxy looked over and watched Cracker clapping his hands and as if by magic, odd multi armed men started appearing on the field. Foxy didn’t have time to marvel as he placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Hamburg and Pickles drew their concealed weapons and got two surprise strikes on the biscuit soldiers and Snack respectively.

“Hey, what the fuck?! Those are weapons! Ref!” Cracker yelled and the referee pretended he didn’t see anything, “Bru, toss me my sword back!” The look that Brûlée shot to Foxy was so scornful and he supposed they were even now. As she moved to toss it, the ref came up behind them.

“That’s a yellow card for interference.”

“Ooo, let me see.” Anana said as she took the yellow card and tore it up.

“That’s now a red card.”

“You have no power over me. This game doesn’t have real rules anyway.” She said pulling a kitchen knife out of thin air and she ran into the fray. The referee broke down sobbing as Brûlée tossed Cracker his sword. Cracker caught it and clashed with one of Pickle's blades. The other was knocked out of his hand by Snack who then proceeded to swipe his feet out from under him. Hamburg decided to stop fighting and start running.

“Get back here!” The two yelled in unison as they ran after him. Cracker was creating soldiers like crazy and Snack was trying his best to keep up with the limber Foxy pirate and failing miserably. Pickles began to get up off the ground as Anana approached.

“En garde!” She said, brandishing the kitchen knife. Foxy watched the color drain from Brûlée’s face. Before she could run out onto the field he grabbed her and her knees buckled. They sat in a heap at the edge of the field as Pickles let out a laugh. He stood and smiled down at the tiny child. He brandished his own blade and chuckled again.

“This is hardly fair. Don’t you think?” He said and Anana looked at her knife sadly. She pouted as she lowered the knife and Pickles lowered his blade. Anana’s brothers were thoroughly distracted by Hamburg who was currently barreling through biscuit soldiers. Cracker looked on the verge of a mental breakdown and Snack was collapsed on the ground, probably exhaustion from running around all bundled up like that. Pickles grinned as he picked up his other blade. “Tell ya what, we can have a fair fight after all.” He said and offered one of his blades to her. Her eyes sparkled with joy as she reached out for it. “Ah, ah, hold up kiddo. I’ll give it to you but you gotta do something for me first.”

“What, what is it, Big Mister?” She said, jumping as he pulled the blade up out of her reach.

“Stand in that ring over there.” Pickles said pointing at the goal ring. No sooner had the words left his mouth that Anana was standing dead center in the goal ring.

“Done!” She said proudly and the Foxy Pirates cheered. Cracker screamed in frustration and Brûlée sighed in relief. 

“The Foxy Pirates win the Groggy Ring Match! The next pick is ours!” Itomimizu’s voice rang out. Foxy hugged Brûlée tighter as it sunk in that they really had won. Porche’s cheering had abruptly stopped but Foxy couldn’t see why, ah well, he was more interested in watching Brûlée’s reaction. The horror that washed over her features would have been hurtful if he didn’t know better.

“You’re not going to-“ She started and Foxy only nodded as he grinned up at her. “Now that’s not very fun, is it?” She said nervously.

“Winning and fun aren’t synonymous. But it’s fun for me.” He said and as he expected she just looked perturbed about his answer. It was then he was unceremoniously hoisted up by his pants and was most certainly not surprised, nor did he screech in fear. Katakuri was glaring daggers down at him, he couldn’t figure out why he’d barely done anything underhanded the whole time he’d been here. Brûlée sighed.

“Kata, he’s already made up his mind. Besides, it’s been a very long day and I’d like it to be over a bit sooner.” She said and Katakuri wordlessly dropped Foxy to the ground.

“Fine, but we will get you back. Davy Back Fight or otherwise.” Katakuri said. Foxy knew the massive man would indeed make good on his threat and was mostly grateful to just not be pummeled outright.

“Alright everyone, you heard the lady! We’ll pick our new crewmate here and now. And after long consideration…” Foxy said, pausing for effect. Everyone was staring at him as he held the pause perhaps longer than he should have.

“It’s Brûlée.”

“Just say Brûlée.”

“Did you forget her name?”

“Big Sis Brûlée!”

“Did he want us to say it?”

“Poh Poh Poh.”

“Alright! I get it! I want Brûlée! Are you all done?” Foxy yelled, angry that everyone seemed to be ganging up on him. “And, of course, this means you lose the combat round by default. So, we’ll be taking Big Pan back as well.” He said.

“Hey! Didn’t you complain about us doing that earlier?” Cracker said.

“Yes, but now I don’t care.” He said as he stepped behind Brûlée. She didn’t even bother getting up off the ground. “Oh yes, as an official member of the Foxy Pirates you’ll need to wear this.” He presented her with his crew’s trademark black mask. She glanced at it and coldly responded.

“I’m not wearing that.”

“But, you’re part of the crew. You have to.” He said and she stared him down. He felt sweat beading on his forehead. “Please.” He said and she didn’t budge at all. “Pretty please.” She frowned.

“Kata, it goes without saying that you’ll have to be in charge.” Brûlée said and her family cheered from behind her. He fell to the ground in despair as he was now being ignored.

“Yeah, and now we can beat the snot out of this idiot!” Cracker said with far too much enthusiasm.

“No. We will be reasonable. Besides, calling it a day is better than further exhausting ourselves. Tomorrow we shall face off again.” Katakuri said and immediately his siblings fell in line. It pissed him off a little. He did note that Pickles had honored his word and Anana was gripping onto the handle of one of his blades that was stuck in the ground. Despite her inability to lift it she seemed to be having a blast.

“But Kat-“ Snack spoke up.

“Tomorrow. After all, they did a lot of rebuilding for us. We owe them a proper round two.” Katakuri stated as he ushered his crew to follow him. Many of them grimaced but it quickly gave way to snickering and giggles. Brûlée stood up to follow behind them.

“Ah, ah, you’re with us now, my dear.” Foxy said and she sighed.

“So, I’m not going to be allowed to sleep in my own bed?”

“You can stay with Porche. Get you acclimated to the crew.” Foxy said.

“Yeah~❤️ It’ll be like a sleepover!” Porche said. She offered a hand to the towering woman. Brûlée looked back at Foxy who offered her the mask again and she picked it up with the enthusiasm of a used tissue. Still, she allowed Porche to drag her away. Foxy smiled as the crew began walking back to the ship. The sun was starting to set and it bathed the scene in warm orange hues. Itomimizu was still announcing the outcome despite the fact that the group had long since dispersed. Cracker finally did come back and grab Anana. He gave Foxy a thumbs up, which he was unclear as to why. After they left, he just took in everything before him. Brûlée shrinking into the distance with Porche bouncing around bubbly as ever. Hamburg chatting with Pickles and Big Pan, all of them laughing as usual. The Big Mom Pirates returning to the home that they had rebuilt for them. He only had one thought as Katakuri turned back to lock eyes with him; happiness is temporary.

Chapter Text

    Brûlée should have expected this outcome. Well, she didn’t expect to be sitting in a spacious cabin with Foxy’s resident bikini babe but that was neither here nor there. She was quite shocked that the bed was almost big enough to accommodate Mama, which she could guess why but had zero desire to ask. Porche laid spread out on one of the corners, kicking her stocking feet lazily in the air as she watched Brûlée cover every single mirror in sight.

“Isn’t this being a little paranoid?” She said and Brûlée could hardly blame her. 

“If I know my brothers, then no. If anything I should be smashing them for your safety.”

“So like, they can come through the mirrors if you’re within a specific range of them?” Porche asked.

“Yes, but it’s not an exact science. Plus they’d have to actually figure out what mirror goes where, which is near impossible if they’re covered.” Brûlée responded.

“They probably gave up before you started in that case.” The bluenette mused. She rolled over onto her back and stared up at her ceiling. Brûlée could understand why she garnered so much attention, she was very attractive. Not that she was particularly interested her, she was never very attracted to the cheerleader types. The comfortable silence was interrupted by a soft chirping. It startled them both before Brûlée realized it was her snail. She couldn’t imagine Katakuri would be calling her, that wasn’t his style. As a matter of fact she couldn’t imagine most of her siblings calling to check on her. She had suspected they’d use her as an excuse to barge into a pretty girl’s room uninvited. She hesitantly answered it as Porche intently watched her.

“Hello?” Brûlée said, her voice coming out soft.

“Hello? Lée? It’s me! I finally managed to sneak one of these away from Mont-D! How are you?!” The voice said and Brûlée felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Broyé, her twin sister, was on the other end of the line. She smiled as she imagined her huddled in some corner of the Queen Mama Chanter just to make sure their conversation was private.

“I’m alright, all things considered. How about you? How are you doing?” Brûlée said, finding her voice. Porche thankfully was keeping quiet.

“Ugh! It’s a total mess here. Mama and Kaido entered into an alliance which just means we’ve been playing nursemaid to him and his crew. The only one who’s even remotely pleasant is King. That doesn’t mean much though, he hardly says anything.

“Hmm, is he cute at least?” Brûlée said she did love to tease her sister.

“Oh my god, he’s gorgeous, he’s a lunarian.” Broyé replied. They giggled like children as Brûlée flopped back on the bed. “What about you, any hunks stroll into town while we’re gone?” She asked and then quickly sputtered, “Wait, wait. You guys got attacked twice. Nevermind, don’t. Sorry, sis.”

“It’s fine, Broyé. Pudding will be okay.” Brûlée said, hoping to ease her sister’s worry. She was terrified for Pudding but there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot she could do. “And uh, funny you should ask, another pirate crew did show up actually.”

“Oh no! What did they take this time?” Broyé said exasperatedly and Brûlée wasn’t quite sure how she’d explain what had happened this past day. Oh god, it had only been a day.

“Well, uh, me? But what that’s temporary?” Brûlée asked and then immediately tried to retract her question. Porche answered her.

“In theory, Kata is almost guaranteed to win whatever round he plays in.” Brûlée agreed with her assessment.

“What?! What do you mean? Who even said that?” Broyé yelled.

“Nobody. I mean, just a homie. Don’t worry about it. And it’s-“ Brûlée said

“That’s bull! Wait, did they kidnap you? Because you don’t sound distressed.” Broyé paused and the snail made a shocked expression. “Oh my god, are you having a rendezvous right now?”

“No! No, no. It’s not like that, at all.” Brûlée said.

“She might do that later.” Porche chimed in and Brûlée dove at her. She missed and Porche twirled off of the bed. Broyé gasped playfully.

“Oooo, I like your friend. She’s honest.” She said.

“Broyéee…” Brûlée groaned.

“Aw, Lée. There’s no need to be embarrassed.” She said, her smile reflected by the snail.

“You’d be embarrassed for me if you saw him.” Brûlée said.

“Him? Two-?!” Broyé started and Brûlée couldn’t bear to let her finish.

“No, no, no. I’m just interested in the captain.” She admitted and felt so embarrassed to be doing so.

“He must be something if he can get past the territorial sea slugs.” Broyé said.

“Oh, he’s something alright. Say, you ever heard of the Foxy Pirates?” Brûlée asked.

“No? Is that who showed up? They don’t sound like much.” She said and Porche pouted from somewhere else in the room. They both jumped again as a soft knock came from the exterior door to Porche’s room. The women locked eyes before Brûlée gestured for her to answer it. Porche pointed between the two of them and Brûlée made a dismissive gesture towards the door. It was probably Katakuri and he could wait. With the bubbly girl distracted she could finish this awkward conversation in relative peace.

“They’re certainly different.” Brûlée said slumping down off the side of the bed facing away from the door. She leaned against it as she moved the snail onto her knees. She heard her sister chuckle.

“Well? Aren’t you going to give me anything substantial? What’s this captain like that you’re so interested in?” Broyé said. Brûlée knew her sister was teasing but what could she actually say about him? He’s a short, weirdly buff/fat little gremlin of a man; that despite her best efforts is attracted to her and won’t leave. She could say that but shockingly, that didn’t sound very appealing. 

“He’s um, he’s shorter than me.” Brûlée started and became extremely self conscious about what her sister would think of him. Her other siblings weren’t shy about their dislike of Foxy and his rather unconventional features.

“That’s it? Is he fat? Skinny? Human? Fishman? Lée, you're giving me nothing here.” Broyé said and Brûlée fell silent, “Does he reciprocate?”

“In spades, I thought he was putting me on; he was so overt about it. He’s quite flirtatious. Bit of a buffoon.” Brûlée said, her face incredibly hot, “Maybe more than a bit.”

“Sounds like you’re made for each other.” She mumbled.

“Hm? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I said: Aw! I’m happy for you Lée! That’s so sweet.” Broyé replied and Brûlée could hear rustling from Broyé’s end of the line. “Uh oh, I think Mont-D found me. Listen, I’ll try and catch you some other time. And you can tell me all about this incredible guy then.”

“I-I never said he was incredible!” Brûlée stammered.

“Oh Lée, you didn’t have to. Your face said it all for you.” Broyé said and Mont-D’or had finally located her.

“Broyé! give me-!” He was cut off by Broyé probably shoving her hand in his face. 

“Stay safe, love you, byeeeee!” And just like that she hung up. Brûlée knew her sister would help keep Mont-D’or off her back, so she didn’t have to worry about being in any more trouble with Mama at least. She peered over at the otherside of the room.

“Aw, the way you two talk to each other is precious~❤️”. Porche said, wiggling her hips like a weirdo. It was then she noticed Capote standing there. He looked pretty uncomfortable.

“Sorry for eavesdropping Miss Brûlée. I came by to get…some stuff from Porche.” He said looking down at his feet. Brûlée was content to leave it at that, however Porche clearly had some unresolved issues with this man.

“Ugh, just say condoms Capote. We’re all adults.”

“Porche! I don’t think Miss Brûlée should be hearing this.” He said. Porche turned to face a dresser and pulled out the top drawer, even from her seat on the floor she could see that it was full of various sex related paraphernalia. Well, she had to respect that Porche was an ethical slut at least.

“Whatever, a little embarrassment is good for you.” Porche said.

“Sure.” He said absolutely fumbling around in the drawer.

“What are you looking for? The ones your size are right here.” Porche asked. Capote turned beat red.

“Uh, I need some…bigger ones.” He said bashfully and Brûlée was putting two and two together. She banished the thought from her brain as Porche completely changed her attitude.

“Oh? Wow! I didn’t think…I support you.” Porche said and gave a thumbs up. Brûlée and Capote did not appreciate the gesture. The fishman quickly found what he came for and made a beeline for the door. He did look back at Brûlée as he was leaving. She decided he needed just a tad more embarrassment.

“Hey, whatever you do with my brother is none of my business. Just don’t hurt yourself.” Brûlée said and watched Capote practically combust.

“Thanks, Porche! Good night you two!” He said, voice cracking as he slammed the door behind him. They both let out a cackle after he left.

“Wow! Bulleye!” Porche said, “What a lucky guess!”

“Are you kidding? Oven has been missing since he almost drowned earlier. Guess he couldn’t resist a hunky fishman. Wiwiwi!” Brûlée said she felt sort of vindicated that she wasn’t the only one planning to screw around tonight.

“You’re never gonna let him live this down are you?” Porche said looking positively wicked and Brûlée wasn’t that surprised that she wasn’t all syrupy sweet, she was a cheerleader type after all. 

“Not a chance.” Brûlée said and considered if she actually wanted to be like that. Her siblings were also going to tease her endlessly about this whole Foxy incident. Whether she did anything with him or not. Oh, hell, she might as well. Besides if he finally proved to be too insufferable she could just kill him. That’s probably what she should have tried first. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20 and all that. 

‘ If you want I can really flatter you later’ She heard the words echo in her mind. Plus, she had to know what he meant. Like, what could he possibly do? She had ideas, but she needed to know what he’d come up with.

“Brûlée? You’re starting to freak me out.” Porche said and Brûlée just gawked at her, “You’ve been staring at the wall for like 5 minutes. If it’s about the Boss, you’re overthinking it.” 

“You’re right.” Brûlée said and Porche nodded. Brûlée approached the covered full length mirror, she pulled the corner up and looked back at the bluenette seated back on the bed again. “Cover this back up after I go through. I don’t want Katakuri pestering you about me. And definitely not about where I am.” She said and Porche gave her the ‘okay’ hand sign. 

“Here, catch.” Porche said and Brûlée did in fact catch the box that came flying towards her. It was a box of condoms, she glared at the younger woman. “Hey, your sister told you to be safe didn’t she?” Brûlée rolled her eyes as she stepped through the mirror. She was absolutely not a fan of perky cheerleader types.

Chapter Text

   Katakuri was fairly certain this was a mistake. Brûlée was hardly in any kind of real danger. Was she in danger of being romanced by an insufferable idiot? Yes. Perhaps he was justified in his pilgrimage after all. Regardless he had boarded the Foxy Pirate’s ship and gotten below decks with relative ease. It was late and honestly surprising that no one seemed to be on guard duty. He had planned to simply use a mirror passageway, Brûlée had anticipated that however. He might as well have used the mirrors because much to his dismay the inner workings of this ship were a labyrinthine nightmare.

He opened one door that was a straight drop down a giant slide, another was a room almost entirely filled with spikes. One room was a pool. Why the hell did they need a pool when they were constantly surrounded by water? Infirmary, kitchen, bathroom, dungeon, a second goddamn pool. He hadn’t run into a single person but he was no longer surprised. He hadn’t anticipated this being a hard task and he began just tapping into his haki so he wasn’t opening every door anymore. After trekking down an extensive hallway he came out into some kind of foyer. There was a simple pink door that had the name ‘ Porche ’ written in cursive on a little wooden sign hanging from it. Well, he did vaguely remember that Brûlée was supposed to be rooming with her for the night. Mission accomplished he supposed.

He approached the door that he hoped he wouldn’t have to step through. Not just because of the fact that he literally ran away from her the last time they spoke but also the door was most certainly made for people of Porche’s small stature. Katakuri raised his hand to knock and he hesitated. He tried probing into what sort of reaction Porche would have, her reaction didn’t betray much at all. Surprise that faded into a neutral state, and she didn’t immediately say anything. He sighed and the door slowly opened. Porche hadn’t waited for him to knock and her lips were curled into her mouth in presumed irritation.

“I figured you’d show up eventually. Brûlée’s not here, and she’s explicitly asked that I not tell you where she’s gone. So, sorry you came down here for nothing.” Porche said her voice very unenthused, as she finished her statement she began to close the door. Katakuri easily stopped it as he spoke.

“You will tell me where she is.” His voice stern. She scoffed.

“You really don’t know?” 

“She’s probably with your weird captain, but I don’t know where his room is.”

“Well, you better start looking then. Now, if you‘ll excuse me I’m going to get some beauty sleep.” She said and applied an admirable amount of pressure in an attempt to force the door closed. If it had been someone else it probably would have worked.

“Wait!” He said, his gaze dropping from her to the ground. He really didn’t want to explain himself for their earlier interaction but it was starting to bother him. He didn’t even know where to start. No matter how many times he rehearsed it in his head he couldn’t figure it out. He glimpsed ahead hoping for an answer but all he saw was Porche taking his hand and smiling up at him. Kata dug his fingers into his hair as he watched Porche fully open the door.

“We should talk in here.” She smiled briefly as she extended her hand out to him but quickly retracted it like she’d done something wrong. Katakuri nodded as he crouched down fully prepared to crawl in through the small doorway. “Um, the back entrance is bigger.” Porche said and immediately Katakuri smacked his head on the doorframe in shock. He clutched his head in pain as he just stayed crouched down on all fours in her doorway like a complete buffoon. His face was beet red and he already wanted to crawl into a hole. 

“Are you okay? Do you need an ice pack?” Porche said and Katakuri just tried to bury himself further into the floor. In silence he crawled into the room and thankfully she shut the door behind him.

“I am fine.” He said and it was clear Porche did not believe him, “I think that perhaps I should explain myself for…my actions earlier.”

“No need. I overstepped. I thought that with your future sight and all you’d stop me if I was going to do something you didn’t like. I’m sorry.” She said cutting him off and Katakuri felt conflicted. On one hand he wanted to correct her misconception that he had run away because he didn’t want her advances. On the contrary, he was quite intrigued by her reaction. However, if he opened that avenue that he had enjoyed the kiss she might continue. He had zero idea of how to handle that kind of intimacy. He was no blushing virgin, sex was an occasional distraction that he partook in but didn’t really understand what he was supposed to enjoy about it. It was simply that to him, a distraction but; that had all been with the scarf and his emotions firmly in place.

“You’re correct. I could have stopped you.” He said the words flying out his mouth before he could process them.

“Oh? That so?” Porche said as she looked at him with her big blue eyes. He sat bolt upright against the door as she knelt down on the floor with him.

“Yes, it is.” He stated and Porche crawled closer to him and practically into his lap as he spoke. Her face lit up as he finished and Katakuri’s heart was hammering in his chest. This woman kept surprising him though as she threw her arms open and hugged his chest.

“Thank goodness, I really thought I’d misread things.” She said and quickly pushed herself away from him, “Why did you run then? Don’t tell me you got all flustered.” Katakuri wanted to answer her but his mouth wasn’t cooperating. She stood up and gave him some space. Porche sat on the bed, giving him that knowing smile like she had before. She had a lot of patience that he honestly felt he didn’t deserve.

Nevertheless, she sat waiting for him to finally calm down enough to think again. They sat in silence for several minutes. She hunched over and sighed. “Okay, while you’re composing yourself. I’m going to go get a snack. You want anything?” She asked as she approached a much larger door in the back of her room. Now that he thought of it, he hadn’t really eaten much all day. He certainly didn’t have his merienda today. His priorities had been a bit scrambled lately.

“Just tea, please.” He muttered. Porche nodded and left the room. Katakuri exhaled as he was alone again. He was so drained from these last few weeks and with the crew split in half it only felt harder to keep up with his family, let alone get out in front of most of the problems. He didn’t have time to untangle this mess he’d created with Porche. Why the hell had he really come here? Brûlée was an adult and could see who she pleased, especially when Mama wasn’t around. They were all guilty of making some questionable decisions behind Mama’s back. Perhaps he had just wanted to see Porche again. There was something to her that he still couldn’t understand and he so desperately wanted to. His thoughts were interrupted by Porche gently opening the door.

“I hath returned! I don’t know what kind of tea you like so I just made chamomile. That’s like a sleepy time tea, I think. I dunno, it’s the first kind I found.” She rambled as she set a tea tray down in front of him on the floor before returning with two plates that were piled high with doughnuts. He felt the urge to run away again, because how in the hell had this happened. Was this deliberate? There’s no way out of everything edible on this planet, she just happened to grab the one thing that he had an embarrassing lack of self control over. “God, it’s been a long time since I’ve had these. Some super nice residents gave us a whole bunch of pastries and all kinds of stuff. Some of it did look like it used to be part of people’s houses but the boys will eat anything. They said it was a thank you for us for doing that reconstruction.” She said and lifted a blue frosted doughnut off of one of the massive stacks. She inspected it with some curiosity as she bit into it. Katakuri licked his lips unconsciously and was very thankful the scarf was still firmly in place. He was not a fan of these particular wires getting crossed in his brain.

“Mmm, so, are you going to actually explain what happened earlier today?” Porche said, talking with food in her mouth. He watched her devour the doughnut in a very similar fashion to himself and he was actually mildly concerned she was going to choke. However she was acting quite blasé about it, this must just be how she eats. She did realize he was staring because she rolled her eyes, but didn’t address it.

“I…was overwhelmed. I foresaw you pulling my scarf away but I wasn’t able to concentrate long enough to see beyond that.” He said averting his gaze and settling his hands into his lap. It was a half truth, he had seen her kiss him but it did end up overwhelming him despite trying to mentally prepare for it. “It is…uncommon for people to see the lower half of my face. And even less so for people to have the kind of reaction you had.” He concluded and considered quickly snatching a doughnut. He thought better of it as Porche swallowed and spoke.

“That’s really sad. I mean, I heard the rumors of course. But really? You’ve never been kissed before?” She asked and Katakuri didn’t feel a need to answer. It was embarrassing, but he’d simply accepted that he’d just never get to have that experience. Well, he supposed he had now. “What did you think?”

“Excuse me?” Katakuri said, feeling his eyes widen from the audacity of this woman.

“Did you like it? How did it make you feel?” Porche gestured with one of her hands as she grabbed another doughnut. 

“It may be hard to believe, but I typically don’t go around talking about my feelings.” He said and smirked to himself. “Frankly, even admitting a shortcoming of mine is uncharacteristic.”

“Fine, be that way. I’ll have you know, I liked it.” She said and then raised a hand to her chest, “I like you. And it really made me feel terrible when you ran off. You could have just told me, I wouldn’t think any less of you. I would have been flattered to be honest.” Katakuri grimaced as he tried to bury his face further into his scarf. This was becoming an exercise in torture. “Well, I’m glad you felt guilty enough to come talk to me. Oh, your tea’s getting cold.” Porche finished and Katakuri’s stomach growled. Shame washed over him instantaneously. “Have you eaten anything today?”

“Of course I have, I’m not a child!” He lied and Porche grabbed another doughnut. His back audibly pressed against the door as he squirmed under her gaze. 

“Open.” She ordered sitting on her knees and holding the doughnut up to his covered mouth.

“Huh?” He breathed as he grasped at the door behind him fruitlessly.

“Liar, now take off that scarf and eat at least one doughnut.” She said like it had been a completely reasonable demand.

“No.” He said pulling the scarf up higher.

“Eat.” She said pushing the doughnut closer. He turned his face away from her.

“No, you don’t understand.” He said. This was becoming far more awkward than he could have imagined.

“Kata!” She said, he hadn’t been scolded like this by anyone in recent memory besides Brûlée, it would have been funny if he wasn’t so embarrassed.

“Fine, but just let me keep my scarf on.” He said.

“What, why? Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed.” Porche said and Katakuri didn’t respond. “Seriously! I’ve already seen your mouth, it’s not a big deal to me.” She said and he shook his head.

“It is to me.” He stated and she backed out of his space.

“Come on, they’re your favorite right?” She asked.

“Who told you?” He asked, he was beyond flustered and was glad she couldn’t see it.

“Brûlée. Well, she didn’t mean to.” She admitted, “Now, come on, please. Just one little bite, for me~❤️” Porche said batting her eyelashes and making a pouty face. Katakuri knew this was a childish and pitiful attempt at getting him to acquiesce to her. He was stronger than this, he was above that kind of manipulation. “Are you embarrassed about how you eat? Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable again.” Her face fell as she spoke and he knew that this was only further manipulation tactics but unfortunately it was working.

“Fine!”  He grabbed one of the plates and reclined as far back as possible . He could see her watching him as he pulled the scarf off of his face and proceeded to dump the whole plate directly into his mouth. Katakuri watched her open mouth stare before his eyes closed involuntarily getting consumed by the feeling of eating his favorite food. They truly were a heavenly treat and he regretted going without them for almost an entire day. He felt the familiar urge to sing to himself and quickly reached for the tea and forced himself to drink, it was cold as Porche had said but that was fine. He squeezed his eyes shut not wanting to see her reaction but he already knew she was frozen in shock. She finally whispered out loud to presumably herself.

“Woah, exactly like a pelican eel.” He felt a vein in his forehead twitch but she continued, “Or like a chipmunk.” …A chipmunk? That was a new comparison. He tried to imagine what features he could possibly share with the diminutive creature. Katakuri almost wanted to ask her, because he didn’t see the resemblance at all. He nearly choked as he was startled by Porche being in his personal space again. His eyes shot open as she gave him a peck on his distended cheek and traced her fingers along the scarring.

“It’s cute. I like it.” She said and this time he did choke. Porche quickly grabbed her own tea cup and took the empty one out of his hand as he sat up. After downing it and swallowing the food in his mouth he looked at her like she was crazy.

“Cute? You think this is cute?” He pointed at his face like she wasn’t very well aware at this point.

“Mhm.” She nodded as she grabbed another doughnut and brought it to her mouth. Katakuri refused to accept that answer as he grabbed the doughnut out of her mouth.

“Hey!” Porche exclaimed as she bit into the doughnut now in his hand. He rolled his eyes as he let go of the confection and leaned in to bite down on the other half sticking out of her mouth. His teeth cleaved through the treat as he moaned and froze. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He pulled back but raised an eyebrow as she followed him, she raised a hand and curled her finger in a beckoning motion. With a small bite of doughnut in her mouth the wires were getting crossed again but he decided he couldn’t really embarrass himself that much further.

Katakuri swallowed as he leaned in and placed his jagged lips against hers. He barely parted them as he felt Porche wrap her arms around his neck and properly climb into his lap once again. The remainder of the doughnut was shoved into his mouth where he swallowed it, allowing his lips to part further. He hummed as their lips properly interlocked and Porche‘s chest pressed to his own. He took a very deep breath through his nose. Her breathing had become tense and slow, her body rigid. He considered backing away, apologizing and getting the hell out of there. Hesitantly he pulled back before placing a kiss on her cheek. It felt so foreign to him, he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about it. More information was needed and so he did it again.

“Porche~❤️” He hummed as he kissed her jawline and froze. Her eyes were closed as leaned in to nuzzle his neck. She didn’t seem bothered by his outburst. She didn’t seem bothered by his mouth, she thought it was cute. He’d never been cute before. Porche nipped at his neck as she hummed back at him. He resumed trailing kisses down her neck. The sensation against his lips was strange but he didn’t dislike it. He took a moment to breathe, she smelled of vanilla and strawberries. His tongue darted out to taste her causing her breath to hitch. She tasted of salt, which shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. She melted into his touch, slowly rubbing against him as she muttered under her breath. He continued his trail until he reached her chest. 

“Kata~.” She said, voice breathy as he felt her hands take his. He pulled back to observe, her eyes were closed and her head tilted back to allow him access. Her lips parted and chest heaving with drawn out breaths. After a moment she spoke. “What? What’s wrong?” Her voice was soft and laced with concern as her eyes fluttered open.

“Nothing.” He said and she looked befuddled, “Nothing‘s wrong.” He felt a lump in his throat as she leaned in to kiss him again. Her tongue parted his lips and he felt tears pricking at his eyes. He tried to will them away because he thought he might collapse if he started crying in front of someone, especially someone outside the family. Her tongue slipped between his teeth and he felt his stomach twist at the sob caught between their mouths. She broke the kiss and traced a finger along his chest.

“Bed? It’s more comfortable than the floor.” She said, and stopped as she looked up at him. “Oh, something is wrong. I knew it.” Porche wiped his eyes as he tried and failed to stop making pathetic noises. Katakuri whimpered as Porche with shocking ease lifted himself off the floor onto the bed. He laid there stunned at her strength and that the bed actually accommodated his size. “I’m sorry, what did I do wrong?” She asked gently as she stood over him. He reached out for her and she took off her gloves. Taking his gloved hands in hers. She couldn’t possibly understand how he was feeling in this moment.

“Everything. You’re doing everything wrong and I don’t want you to stop.” He said as Porche crawled on top of him.

“You’re not making sense. If you're uncomfortable just tell me.” She said and Katakuri lost it.

“I’m extremely uncomfortable! You just keep pushing my boundaries and I can’t focus, I can’t think. And I like it!” He yelled as he rested his hands on her hips. “Please, don’t stop. I’ve…it’s never been like this before.” He finished and she blinked down at him. Her fingers splayed out across his chest capturing the heavy rise and fall of his breaths. His eyes fell closed as he wallowed in how pathetic he must seem to her.

Her lips found his again, soft against rough. She had seen him vulnerable and she returned soft appreciation. It wasn’t disgust, indifference, or tolerance. Even if she was faking all of it and it was purely lust; it still touched his heart. She broke the kiss and sat up fully unzipping her bodysuit and pulled it down. She adjusted her top and Katakuri felt himself staring. “You can touch me too, Kata. Is it okay to remove your vest and stuff?” She said as she picked at his belt buckle. 

“Yeah.” He said his voice wasn’t quite back to normal. Porche pulled one of his gloves off. Kissing along his knuckles as she pulled off his other glove. She pulled one of his fingers into her mouth and she paused and drew back. Porche tentatively licked his palm, his breath hitched. Katakuri sat up and pulled his vest off and she rolled off of him and onto the bed. “Hey um, why do you taste like mochi?” She asked and he felt some tension slip from his shoulders.

“Devil fruit.” He answered simply and tossed his vest away. He started undoing his belt and peeling his pants off.

“Oh, like I figured you had a devil fruit. Because of earlier.” She said and he’d almost forgotten about pulling her raft to shore. “So, you’re like a mochi man?” She asked and he didn’t quite understand where she was going with this. “You’re not a fishman then, and that’s…” She trailed off as she touched his scars again. Her touch was tender, reverent, like she was touching beautiful engravings.

“Can you take that mask off?” He said and breaking her train of thought as she laughed.

“Whoops, yeah. Sorry. Sometimes I totally forget about it.” She said quickly, removing her bobble hat and pulling the mask off of her face. He felt a pang of  disappointment that she was very normal looking without it. Not even like a mole on the bridge of her nose or something. No, that wasn’t something to be disappointed about.

“What’s the purpose of that thing anyway?” He asked trying to will a smile away from the corners of his mouth.

“It’s mostly so the Boss can keep track of who’s on our crew, there was a lot of confusion when we first started doing Davy Back fights.” She paused, “Can we talk about this later. Thinking about Boss is kind of a mood killer.” He must have made a quizzical expression because she answered the question he didn’t ask. “He’s like an older brother to me, so no. I don’t sleep with him. Well, I crash in his room all the time, but not like that. We don’t fuck.” She shivered at the thought and Katakuri understood that she probably got that question a lot. “Anyway, you good?” She asked and Katakuri finished removing his pants.

“Yes.” He said as he felt it hard to meet her gaze again, “This is truly different from my past experiences. People don’t usually like flaws.” 

“Flaws? You’re a little skittish but that’s not a huge issue.” She said and he realized he had said the last part out loud. He blinked. Was she oblivious or playing dumb? “Oh, you meant…well, their loss. I think it’s hot.” She finished and he was still just as split as before. This whole endeavor was wildly uncharted territory as far as he was concerned. He felt her at his back and he was content to let her trace along his tattoos. He was already perpetually flushed at this point but he was glad his emotional outburst was done with. Porche lingered at the waistband of his doughnut print boxers as her head snaked around his torso. She looked up at him playfully as she placed her face on his thigh.

“You may remove them if you wish.” He said and she dipped her fingers below his waistband. “More people have probably seen that than my face.” He said and he watched her face fall. Katakuri supposed he could understand how depressing that must sound but he preferred it that way.

“Sounds lonely.” She said as she kissed his hip. He let her tug the boxers down as his cock sprung free. He hadn’t given their size difference much thought but he was now confronted with the fact that his dick was literally the size of her thigh. 

“It is.” He said trying to keep his mind distracted, he didn’t want to see this end badly because he was so used to that outcome. Porche allowed him to pretend that he could be lo-...taken as he was. 

“Then let’s be lonely together.” She said and Katakuri was struck by the stupidity of that statement as she undid her top. He felt an urge to mark her flesh, perhaps enough to make her wear her jumpsuit properly. Bite her flesh, make her his. No one else deserved her, he thought as she pulled down her bottoms. They sat there on her massive bed, it was an intimacy he’d never felt; that he couldn’t even fathom existing before this moment. She pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled weakly. He reached out and pushed her hair behind her other ear tracing along her jaw, just as she’d done with him.

“It’s exhausting keeping a crew together.” He said and she looked up at him. Katakuri ran his fingers down her chest and kissed her neck. “Porche.” He said feeling her shiver as he trailed his tongue down between her breasts and teased her nipples. He gently dragged his teeth down her stomach and she whined. 

“Kata.” She said as she squeezed her legs together, he brought a hand down to part them again. She was already wet as he dragged his thumb across her folds. Her pussy was beautiful, perfect, his. She brought her hand to her mouth and bit down on her knuckle, stifling another whine. He kissed the side of her mouth as he pulled her hand away.

“Don’t hold anything back from me, not now.” He breathed into her skin as he dipped two massive fingers into her pussy. She moaned as her hands fell to his chest to steady herself as he slid his other hand behind her. He spread his fingers open inside her and her head fell back. He was not expecting her to make noises that sounded like a cat. She was full of surprises. He did make a teeny tiny noise that could have been considered laugh.

“Don’t laugh! It’s involent- inviolent- not on purpose!” She pouted and he did feel a tiny bit bad although, her fumbling over her words was not helping. 

“Hm, sorry. Porche~❤️” He said purposely singing her name this time. “I have some involuntary tics of my own.” He pulled his fingers out as he squeezed her ass. Her attention was back on him as her head snapped forwards.

“That’s different, you have a lovely voice.” She said as she took his cock in hand. He let out an undignified noise as she ran her thumb over his slit. She brought her thumb to her mouth and licked a bead of precum off it. She made a displeased face before silently returning her hands to Kata’s dick.

“Why’d you make a face?” He asked as she pulled back his foreskin. When she pointedly did not answer him he slid his hand underneath her and jammed two fingers into her pussy again. She mewled again as she lowered her mouth to his cock. Porche panted against his dick as she aligned herself to swallow him. “Oh fu-“ He was cut off by Porche taking his head into her mouth. He suddenly no longer cared that this was a bad idea. Katakuri moaned embarrassingly loud but couldn’t bring himself to care. He continued scissoring his fingers inside her as she got about halfway down his shaft. His motions became jittery as he groaned, his free hand carding through Porche’s hair.

“Porche, sweet, lovely, Porche~❤️” He repeated like a mantra as he felt his cock fully harden in her mouth. She glanced up at him through her lashes as she wrapped both her hands around the remainder of his cock. Kata was silently grateful she wasn’t trying to take all of him. He didn’t want her to hurt herself. She began to bob her head as she stroked his shaft. He started to thrust in time with her strokes and he started to become more erratic as he approached his climax. Her mouth was so tight and warm, it took all of his remaining willpower not to jam his cock down her throat. He was trying his best to remain still. “Stop, I’m cumming.” He said attempting to pull his cock out of her mouth but she held him firmly in place. His hips stuttered as he came into Porche’s mouth, unsurprisingly she was swallowing his cum. She pulled off him with a wet pop as she sat up. She removed his long stilled fingers from her with a sigh and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Feeling a little better now?” She asked, her voice ragged as she casually splayed her pussy open with her fingers. She breathed through her teeth and he quickly realized she wasn’t even close to finishing.

“I- yes. But I neglected your pleasure.” He stated and she sighed.

“Don’t worry about it, I-“ She started as Kata placed his face between her legs.

“Will you allow me to help you finish?” He mumbled and he knew that she’d probably say no because as crazy as Porche was, no one could possibly want a mouth like his near their genitals.

“You want to eat me out? Oh fuck. That’s so hot.” She said her voice was shaky and soft. “I mean, uh go for it.” He watched her lay back against her pillows as she looked to the side. She fidgeted, her pussy quivering in anticipation as Katakuri brought his tongue to her folds and gave an experimental lick and she lurched forward with a yelp. “Ah!” He did it again and she relaxed into it more. He pulled her towards him more and his nose pressed into her folds and he darted his tongue into her opening. She moaned as he began to trail to swipe his tongue back and forth like a pendulum. 

“Are you, are you sure, you haven’t done this before?” She asked and Katakuri responded by humming as he swirled his tongue inside her pussy. He felt her hands claw along his back as she mewled above him. His cock twitched occasionally as he worked. She was undoubtedly stroking his ego, not that he minded.

“Kata~.” She moaned again as he inserted his thumb to stroke her clit. He was also trying to see how deep his tongue could go. It was oddly meditative as he listened to her squirm above him. He could see she was close as he continued.

“Oh, Kata, I’m close, so so close. Just a little more. Please~❤️” Porche babbled as he simply hummed in approval as he swirled her clit. She dropped her head back and made a guttural noise as she came, juices spilling across Kata’s mouth and absolutely soaking the comforter. He pulled away from Porche as she melted bonelessly into the embrace of her bed. He rolled her taste around on his tongue, it was a new sensation. Somewhat sweet but not terrible by any means. He wasn’t sure if he’d do that again. He tried wiping the excess off with his hands but there was more of it than he’d thought and he was just making a mess.

Porche was watching him with a dopey smile plastered across her face as she pointed to her bedside dresser. He pulled out the top drawer and turned back to look at her. He was under the impression that she had a more active sex life than him but seeing an entire dresser drawer dedicated to it was startling. He turned back to the drawer and pulled out a towel and held it up to show her, mostly getting confirmation that this was a normal towel and not some kind of weird sex cloth. He didn’t even know if that was a thing. She gave him a thumbs up as she dragged herself back into his lap.

“Yes?” He asked as he finished wiping his face. She kissed his scars again as she tapped her nails against his chest.

“Smug bastard. Fucking devours me and all he has to say for himself is ‘yes’.” She said and Katakuri faltered.

“I’m sorry?” He said confused, had he broken some etiquette he was unaware of? Porche snorted as she lightly smacked him on the chest.

“I’m teasing. You big incredible chipmunk you.” She grabbed his face and smushed his cheeks with her hand. Her voice pitched up like she was talking to a baby and he was not a fan.

“Stop calling me that. It’s weird.” He said but he wasn’t truly against the comparison. However his family could never know, he’d never live it down.

“Oh, you even have markings down your back too. Aw, you're too cute.” She said releasing his face and smothering him with kisses.

“They’re tattoos. I am not some fuzzy little forest animal.” He said making a halfhearted attempt at pushing her away. Porche settled back down and he wasn’t quite sure what was appropriate now. Was he supposed to leave? That didn’t feel correct.

“Hmm, you’re making that grumpy thinking face again.” She said mirroring his alleged expression, but he didn’t make faces like that. It didn’t matter that everyone said he did, they were wrong.

“What now? We had sex, so do I leave? Because I enjoy your company so…” He left the sentence hanging because Porche looked at him like he was insane.

“Have you only had one and done experiences? Because I like to cum like 4 or 5 times, if possible.” She said and he was taken aback.

“Oh! So there’s more!” He said with more enthusiasm than he should have.

“We don’t have to do anything, you can just stay here and cuddle. Or you can leave and like take a shower or somethin’.” She said and horror crept up his spine.

“Oh god, do you think Brûlée would come back here?” He began looking for his underwear which seemed to have vanished since they were removed.

“Nah, wrote her a note.” Porche said, “Anyway, I have some more things I’d like you to do with that pretty little mouth of yours. If you’re game of course.” She pulled away and propped herself up against her pillow cluttered headboard, beckoning him like she had done earlier with her finger.

Katakuri understood this woman had been saying so many things he’d wanted to hear. There was no relationship to have, she would be gone after tomorrow. He supposed there was a slim chance he could select her after winning a Davy Back Fight round (after getting Brûlée back of course). No, he didn’t want to trap her and that’s all that would be. He crawled over to her as he nuzzled her neck. For once in his life he didn’t want to see what the future held. He needed to live in this moment, in this night. Where he could pretend that she’d be able to love him forever.

Chapter Text

   Foxy was unreasonably nervous as he sat in his armchair. He was staring at the large full size mirror that faced his bed. He looked to the door and briefly considered that if she didn’t take the mirror route she’d probably get lost in the halls. He swirled the glass of brandy he was sipping and thought about having smoke. It wasn’t very often he’d partake in either vice much anymore, he had to keep his rugged physique after all. However, he felt it necessary today. Porche came close to getting seriously injured and if not for the lucky break with the kid they would have lost the second round too. He’d painted a giant target on his back now that he’d nabbed Brûlée. Katakuri’s menacing stare down had been another indicator that he was in no uncertain terms screwed.

He downed the rest of his glass and set it aside as he watched the mirror again. Foxy had been hoping she would at least come talk to him, she hadn’t said a thing to him since they boarded the ship. Would he have liked her to take him up on his earlier offer? Of course. Did he realistically think she would? Not really. He supposed it was for the best, tomorrow they’d be getting kicked out after he got his ass kicked which was the same old song and dance they’d been doing the last two years. He couldn’t really understand why his crew kept coming right back to him, Davy Back Fight be damned. This slump he’d gotten into had to have an end. He’d hoped pulling a hail mary and snatching some powerful new allies would have been the break they needed. No such luck as it was pretty clearly backfiring as most things did lately. Foxy hoisted himself up from his chair. Brûlée wasn’t coming and he should try to get some rest. He shrugged off his coat and went to hang it up on a wall hook. He cracked his neck as he turned around.

“Oh!” Brûlée exclaimed as she emerged from the mirror and Foxy screamed and immediately shot a beam at her in justifiable fear. Unfortunately, the beam not only hit Brûlée but also reflected back at him after hitting the mirror. So, there was a nice long bout of frozen silence between them. As the thirty seconds were passing he noted that her expression while one of shock was more well, aroused. Her face was dusted with blush and her hand lingered by her parted lips still making the ‘o’ shape. He unfroze first and lowered his hands as he furrowed his eyebrows. Foxy approached the still frozen upper half of  Brûlée. She should have unfrozen first. Her eyes followed him as he was mere inches away, if her blush was intensifying he couldn’t really tell. As she began to unfreeze her breath hitched as she frantically stammered out her words. “Wh-what the actual hell was that?” She asked, “You’ve had a devil fruit this whole time and you didn’t use it once?”

“It didn’t come up.” He said as he watched her chest heave, “ Plus as you just saw, you would have just deflected my beams.”

“That’s what happened just now?” She asked, looking back at her own reflection. Her heart must have been beating pretty quickly, she seemed quite frazzled.

“Yes, now-” He started and she interrupted.

“There’s no way I could have known that without you telling me, I hope you realize that.” Huh, he hadn’t thought about that. She really did make him stupid.

“Nevermind that. What do you want?” He said, trying to keep his tone level. Her heart rate seemed to slow as her normal attitude returned.

“What do you think bozo?” She said and he smirked at her. He’s still got it after all it seemed.

“So, just to be crystal clear. You wish to take me up on my earlier offer?” He said, pausing for dramatic effect.

“Of sex, yes.” Brûlée answered.

“Of sex. Oh, come on! Stop stealing my lines!” Foxy pouted and she snickered.

“You’re already making me regret coming down? up here? What part of the ship is this?” She asked.

“Secret.” He said and she gestured dismissively as she fully emerged from the mirror. He’d already had to relocate his cabin several times and he wasn’t very keen on telling people where he slept. “Couldn’t resist a peak male specimen, could you?” Brûlée looked at him in judgmental silence as she spoke.

“I just wanted to see if you’re all bark and no bite, so to speak.” She said setting down a box of condoms on a nearby self in a fashion he assumed was supposed to be casual. A bolt on the shelf came out as she did this and he simply beamed the shelf and put the bolt back in place.

“You came prepared, I see.” He said and she fumbled over her words.

“I- no. That insufferable girl you pal around with thrust them upon me.”

“I can see that.” He grumbled as he pointed at the box. They were ‘Giant sized’, which was literal. Brûlée had been handed a box of lubed tarps as far as they were concerned. Typically Porche did this sort of thing to crewmates when they’d ask her for condoms too frequently. The amount and variety of condoms she had was disturbing and he didn’t really want to know about her sex life. He was glad she was safe but anything more detailed than that just grossed him out.

“So they aren’t even your size? Shouldn’t she know that?” Brûlée said and Foxy gagged.

“She’s practically family!” He said and Brûlée seemed surprised by this information. He thought this had come up before but shrugged it off. “Also how big do you think my dick is?”

“So you don’t bed girls on your crew?” She asked as she walked across the room and inspected one of his bedposts, totally avoiding his question.

“Not typically, but I can think of at least one exception.” He said, making a sultry face at her. She looked ethereal, like a lonely spectre. He’d let her haunt him.

“Mmhm, that’s temporary you know.” She said and he leaned against the opposite bedpost.

“Says you.” He said, smirking. He knew full well that Katakuri would take Brûlée back with relative ease. He’s the size of a sequoia and can see the future, Foxy’s odds were not good. But she didn’t need to know she was right.

“Oh that’s right. I forgot you’re delusional.” She rolled her eyes again, “Why didn’t you just pick him instead of me?”

“Because then I would have had to fight you, and that’s not very gentlemanly.” He said huffing indignantly at needing to explain himself. In truth he didn’t like his odds against her either.

“Uh huh, so what has this whole mess just been foreplay?” She sounded unimpressed.

“You’re here aren’t you? ” Foxy asked rhetorically.

“Well.” Brûlée started as her face flushed again. It only really showed on her cheeks but it was hard not to think it was cuter that way. “So, basically you risked being beaten to death just for a shot at sleeping with me?” Brûlée said and he nodded sheepishly. It sounded pretty bad when she summed it up like that and she wasn’t entirely correct but he didn’t want to argue. “Wiwiwi! That’s completely pathetic.” She finished and he felt himself sinking into the bedframe. She knelt down to his eye level and tilted his head up to look at her with a single finger. “Unfortunately, I find that charming.” He balked at her as she spoke. She leaned in and connected their lips. Foxy felt her lips curl into a smile as she pulled away. It radiated an intoxicating warmth that made him almost forget about how rude she generally was.

“Of course.” He said nuzzling into her neck and placing a kiss on her collarbone. Brûlée made a soft noise of surprise. Foxy trailed kisses up her neck, her tittering laughter being gentle encouragement.

“That tickles, quit it.” She said and he pulled away getting up on the foot of his bed. Foxy was a bit miffed that he was still a little below her eye level. He placed a hand on her shoulder and another at her waist. “Now what?” She asked, clearly feigning irritation but she was still smiling.

“Why I’m returning the favor, my dear.” He said dipping her as he kissed her on the lips. It was not as intense of a kiss as the one on the stage, partly due to Brûlée still giggling. Foxy pulled back and grimaced at her. “Are you nervous or something?”

“A little. Plus it’s funny watching you.” Brûlée said as her hands moved to his shoulders.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He said and she scoffed.

“It’s cute.”

“Huh? You’re so mean! Men don’t like being called cute!” Foxy protested. Brûlée shoved him backward and he didn’t appreciate this kind of treatment. His mind quickly changed as she came around the side of the bed and threw a beautiful smooth leg across him and straddled him.

“See, cute.” She said, gently dragging her nails down his chest. He had to have been bright red if he wasn’t already. She traced his abs lazily and she thankfully was not resting her entire body weight on him. Foxy’s mouth hung open as he struggled to find his voice. It vaguely occurred to him that he should go get usable condoms.

“One second.” He said as he scooted her back and ran into his personal bathroom. Foxy frantically began opening compartments and drawers before finding his prize. He held up the box as recognition clicked across Brûlée’s face. She let out a deep breath and it made him pause. He watched her scratch her scar. He marched back over to the bed and set the box down. Foxy wasn’t sure what he’d done but something was off, her smile was meeker and she seemed rattled.

“You keep them in the bathroom? Isn’t that inconvenient?” Brûlée asked, it was a lame deflection he could tell that much. He got back into the bed and reached towards her face. He stopped when she flinched at the gesture.

“May I?” Foxy asked and she pulled his hand to her face. He ran his thumb across the scar tissue on her cheek. She held his hand there with both of her’s. Her gaze avoided his own as he just watched her. How she breathed, how she adjusted her hands, how she finally looked at him again. He had wanted to ask about how she’d gotten it, but he had a couple guesses.

“Well?” She sighed, her sour attitude was back.

“Well what? I’m just enjoying the view.” He said and she wretched, “What? It’s true. You’re beautiful.” He paused as he traced along her scar with his finger, “Every inch of you.”

“Stop talking.” Brûlée said as she kissed him again. He frowned at being interrupted, perhaps he did talk too much. Opening his mouth to protest only gained her tongue snaking into his mouth. He felt his suspenders being pulled off his shoulders as his hands drifted to her hips. Foxy allowed himself to fall back and Brûlée stayed right with him as they broke apart for air. Her hands on either side of his head as she held herself above him on all fours.

“I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.” He said slightly out of breath, her lips left a trail of kisses down his chest stopping at his boxing shorts. Brûlée looked up at him before she started undoing the laces.

“You’re sickeningly sweet, you know that?” She said fumbling with the laces to the point of making a knot.

“Just take the compliment. Also you can just pull them off.” Foxy said as Brûlée tugged on his shorts and they didn’t budge, “What did you do?”

“I don’t know!” She said returning to fiddling with the laces. Foxy took the opportunity to feel up her ass. It had a firmness he hadn’t expected but appreciated. He felt the outline of her panties through the dress and vaguely thought of finding the waistband and snapping it. She eventually managed to pull his shorts down and of course she pulled everything down so he was completely naked. “Huh.” She said like she was just told a fun fact and not examining his cock and balls.

“What?” He said through gritted teeth.

“Nothing, nothing. It’s a good size.” She said and he was skeptical.

“Ah yes, what every man wants to hear.” He said sarcastically as she tossed his clothes on the floor.

“It’s more…normal than what I was expecting.” She said and Foxy was a little unnerved by whatever that meant, “Not important.” She finished and distracted him by pulling her dress over her head, tossing that away too. He wasn’t sure what his eyes should be drawn to first. The single garter band on her left leg, the pair of white panties with a small wet patch, or finally the matching bra that barely contained her massive breasts. He felt his cock twitch as he returned his hand to her ass, his fingers dipping under the fabric as he gave it a firm squeeze. His other hand trailed across her stomach and stopped at her chest. Brûlée lowered her chest to his, trapping his hand but he didn’t mind too much.

“It unhooks in the front.” She said, it was clear it was less of a hint and more of a command. He unsnapped the hooks as she slipped it off. She took a deep breath as she pressed their foreheads together. He brought his hands to her chest and nuzzled her neck again. Foxy took a breast in each hand and squeezed, Brûlée chuckled softly as he ran his tongue along her shoulder. Her breath hitched as he placed his face between her breasts licking a stripe down between them thumbing her nipples as he fondled her. He grazed his teeth against one of them and she hissed, dragging them against his face as she rocked her body back and forth. It was a frustrating friction as her pelvis was still elevated, not that he was complaining her little noises of approval were enough for now. He kept fondling, licking, and kissing her breasts. He was trying to be careful of the biting but unfortunately Brûlée started picking up speed and he bit her causing an abrupt stop.

“Ouch!” She yelled and he quickly began kissing the offending area.

“Sorry honey, you need to warn me next time.” Foxy said though it was a bit muffled. He pulled back to make sure he didn’t draw blood and she pushed her tits back in his face.

“Do it again.” She ordered and he peered up at her frozen with hesitation.

“Uh, you want me to bite you again?”

“Yes, but no. Don’t bite my tits please.” Her voice was breathy yet commanding. Her eyes were half-lidded as her lips curled into a snide smile. He nodded as she pressed him into the pillows. Foxy attempted to give himself a little breathing room as he scanned her for a good place to bite. They all seemed bad to him but he’d give it an earnest try. He pushed her back as he settled on her shoulder, running his tongue along it again. He grazed his teeth along her trying to find the correct spot and she was practically purring when he reached her neck. He would be careful and gentle because he was no animal.

Foxy finally bit down on Brûlée’s neck and she moaned as her arms gave out, knocking the wind out of him as she collapsed on top of him. He lifted her off and pushed himself down to her still elevated pelvis, observing her ruined underwear and running his thumb over her clothed lips. She whined as he pulled off the drenched panties and admired her olive folds dusted with the same purple hairs as her head.

“Aw, look at you all worked up for me. And you’ve been saying I’m the eager one, tsk tsk.” He said, thumbing her lips again.

“I-I’m not eager, you’re projecting.” Brûlée said, hugging a pillow for support as her hips dipped to try and get some friction against his thumb.

“Such a pretty pussy you have, Brûlée. I’m sure you want me to put my mouth to work.” He said, grabbing her hips as he slipped his tongue into her folds, moaning as her juices dripped down his chin.

“Oh fuck, you little-“ She cut herself off as he pushed his tongue as deep as it could go. His nose pressed awkwardly against her and their position with one hand supporting her made it kind of uncomfortable but she seemed to be enjoying herself. “Oh Captain.” She breathed and he paused, he didn’t hear that. Foxy pulled his tongue out and looked at Brûlée who’d gone completely silent.

“Did you just…?” He asked the half formed question with his hands on her thighs. She made a strangled noise as she rocked her hips against nothing.

“Don’t make a big deal about it? Isn’t this embarrassing enough?!” She pouted and he decided he’d prod her back a little bit for once.

“You’re the only one who’s embarrassed. You can call me captain if you’d like, besides it’s true.” He said rubbing circles on her thighs as she squirmed, pussy quivering.

“But what if somebody hears me or if they find out somehow? I’ll never hear the end of it. It’s just so, so…” She trailed off and despite not seeing her face he knew this likely stemmed from past experiences. Why were pretty girls always so complicated?

“Well, I’m not one to kiss and tell and besides the walls are soundproof. Holler as loud as you want about whatever you want.” He said and she lifted herself to look at him. It was strange looking at her upside down and watching her bite her lips before nodding. She seemed to be willing to believe him and didn’t want to ask fifty questions for once. He feels like she should have at least one question. She lowered herself back down to the pillows and he returned his attention to her pussy. He licked across her folds before thrusting his tongue back in. Brûlée groaned as he swirled his tongue against her inner walls.

“Foxy, give me more. Please, you’re so mmhm~” She said and he was a bit taken aback but he simply took the encouragement as he added a couple fingers to the mix. “Fuck.” She moaned. He used his fingers to tease her clit. Foxy watched her legs tremble, she was probably close to cumming. She wasn’t a very giving lover so far, not that he really minded. He didn’t usually eat people out, his nose made it cumbersome and he didn’t understand the draw of the nose penetration thing. Brûlée was special and he wanted her to feel special, even if that meant he didn’t get much attention.

“Ugh, it’s not enough!” Brûlée pouted as she pulled her hips back. Foxy growled at her, he wasn’t going to be insulted like that! He pulled his fingers out of her and she immediately propped herself up to yell at him as he then jammed his hand back into her pussy, fisting it. He watched her mouth fall open as she shrieked in delight as her walls spasmed around his pointed hand. Out of curiosity, he raised his pinky and index fingers into his signature fox shape inside her. Her response was a guttural scream as he fired off a beam that froze the spasming of her pussy. Brûlée looked appalled at him but he just smirked as his hand returned to the normal fisting position. He gently opened and closed his fingers in the minimal space he could.

“I was so fucking close, why did you do that?!” She hissed as she twitched, still feeling at least some of what he was doing.

“Give it a couple more seconds, Brûlée. Let your captain make you feel good.” He said and she groaned before it evolved into a muffled scream as her face slammed into the pillows. All his movements were hitting her in quick succession as she came, her juices spilling over his hand. Foxy pulled his hand out of her and watched as she soaked his chest. He purred as her hips finally dropped as she went completely boneless. After a brief moment of fumbling to get out from under her, he crawled up beside her.

“Was that enough?” He whispered in her ear and she shivered. Foxy felt his anger subsiding as he placed a hand on her back. “Are you okay?”

“Mmhm, good.” She mumbled, her hands stretched out as she laid blissed out on his bed. “Handy trick you have with that beam thing.”

“Of course, I knew you’d like it.” He lied. Foxy had never used his devil fruit for sexual purposes and he actually intended to piss her off. This was the better outcome. Her hair triangles were barely hanging on as they fanned out around her head like some kind of weird halo. Brûlée’s eyes fluttered as she seemed to reach the clarity stage.

“Oh my god, we, I, you.” She babbled as she sat up, bite mark still clear on her neck and thighs a mess. “Wait, did you cum?”

“No and don’t worry about it.” He said and now she looked offended.

“Don’t worry about it? What is your dick broken?”

“What the hell? No! Sorry for being considerate, you absolute harpy!” Foxy snapped at her and immediately slapped his hand over his mouth. The silence was deafening. He hadn’t thought she’d be this rude in the bedroom and he’d let his temper get the better of him.

“Wow, a harpy, huh. I was wondering what would get you to snap.” She said her tone was bored, “I deserved it though.”

“What?” He said confused.

“Ugh, I’ve been pretty rude. In truth, I thought I’d get less embarrassed and less nervous the longer I was here.” Brûlée paused and chewed her lips, “But I haven’t, so I just keep saying things that I know will drag you down to feeling how I feel.”

“Brûlée, you should have said something earlier.” He said and she scoffed.

“What could I have said? I’m so ashamed of myself for actually coming here, for liking someone so, so…” She trailed off as she brought her knees to her chest.

“You like me?” Foxy said, unable to hide the enthusiasm in his voice.

“Yes. That’s what you took from that?” She asked.

“Like, like-like me?” He said hopefully and Brûlée sat in open mouthed silence. He supposed that would be a big deal to admit.

“I can’t believe you are the person responsible for the best orgasm of my life.” She said rubbing her temples and he couldn’t understand why. She’d just given him incredibly high praise and he was basking in it for all it was worth.

“Oh, you don’t mean that.” Foxy said blushing and grinning like an idiot.

“You really are incredible. I don’t think there’s words to express what I am feeling right now.” Her tone didn’t match the clear praise she was showering him in but he was revealing in it.

“Stop~ I’m gonna melt with you buttering me up this much.” He sheepishly scratched the back of his head and his cock was also taking note of the positive attention.

“I think I might’ve hit my head on the headboard or- I’m sorry are you getting off from this?” She said and gestured to his penis.

“What? No, no. Uh no.” He said and Brûlée was clearly unconvinced. His hardening cock that she was staring directly at probably didn’t help.

“I heard of praise kinks but, wow.” She snickered and Foxy was getting concerned. “I wonder if you can cum without being touched?”

“Uh, maybe?” He stammered as Brûlée ran her fingers up his chest.

“Hm, but that’s not any way to treat such a handsome and skilled man. Eh, captain?” She said and he whined as his cock throbbed. He brought his tangled fingers to his face, rubbing them together. Involuntarily thrusting as he could still smell her juices on his fingers. He groaned as Brûlée dragged her nails down his thighs. Foxy was painfully hard as she loomed over him. He was trying not to cum from thinking about what she was going to do, gripping the base of his cock to try and stave it off.

“Gigantic ego in an itty bitty body. Typical.” She said and bit her lip again before reaching behind him to grab a condom out of the box. “I gotta stop doin’ that.” She whispered and then looked at him with trepidation. Her lipstick was completely gone, their natural color was mauve and Foxy thought it suited her fine. He snapped to attention when she started speaking again. “What I meant to say was, I want your cock inside me as soon as possible, please.” She said and flashed a smile that looked more like a malfunction than an emotion. Still, he heard her loud and clear and tore open the condom.

Now, Foxy was a braggart about many things but his cock was not one of them. A: gross, and b: his dick was perfectly average. Sliding the condom down his shaft he did consider he might be a bit small for someone of Brûlée’s size. Not that it mattered, not like he could stretch out his dick or anything. He grimaced as he had a horrible thought that he now added to the pile of things he hated about that strawhat kid. Brûlée had in the meantime laid herself against his pillows, legs spread and holding her folds open with her fingers. She beckoned him with her free hand and any other thoughts he had poofed out of existence.

“Can you admit you’re eager now?” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“Fine, I am. Now get to it already.” She said and he leaned up to kiss her. Brûlée bent over to close the distance so he could enter her properly. Fuck, she felt incredible. Foxy was in to the hilt rather quickly. He moaned as they broke apart and he set a relaxed pace. She met his thrusts and eventually they were going at the same tempo. He still held the base of his cock and the condom, just in case. Brûlée didn’t make as many noises this time, she seemed more focused. Foxy sure wasn’t, he was speeding up embarrassingly quick but he assumed that was due to him being a bit pent up. His stamina was fine, he knew that; he just wanted to cum sooner rather than later.

“Hey.” He panted.

“Hey.” She parroted back at him and waited for the sweaty mess he was becoming to finish his thought.

“Can I beam you again?” Foxy asked, he decided he should warn her this time.

“Hm, oh sure.” She said her voice breaking a little as he slammed himself in again. His pace slowed as he tried to figure out the right angle. Eventually he ended up pulling out entirely and sitting on his knees. Brûlée snickered as he fired a beam that he hoped would only catch her lower half. She proceeded to summon a mirror and he realized too late that she was angling it down to hit his lower half. Quickly, she got on top of him and sank down on his shaft.

It was an odd sensation, the pleasure was still felt but it was dulled heavily. Like putting your hand in gelatin. He could see her bouncing on his stationary cock and having her breasts practically smothering him again was also quite lovely. Her breathing was erratic and Foxy felt himself starting to speed up as he wrapped his arms around her back and readied himself to try and match her pace. As he sped up he felt every plunge she’d done simultaneously with his current thrusts. Every thrust into her made him see stars, and he jackhammered her pussy like there was no tomorrow. He moaned against her chest as he came. There were no thoughts as he closed his eyes. After a few minutes he opened his eyes to see a concerned Brûlée leaning over him. He was laying on his pillows but he didn’t remember moving here.

“Everything alright, princess?” He mumbled and she looked relieved.

“You scared me so bad, I thought I suffocated you.” She said, hand to her chest.

“Not a bad way to go out.” He mused.

“Yeah for you, not me!” She said and then looked at him expectantly, “Another round?“

“Sure, just give me a couple minutes. Actually more like several minutes.” He said taking her hand and kissing it.

“Take your time, there’s no rush.” Brûlée said lying beside him. Her arms wrapped around him as they huddled closer. She ran her fingers through his hair, her touch was soft and held a fondness he could palpably feel. That warm beautiful smile stretched across her face like a ray of sunlight. He couldn’t have imagined she’d ever look at him like this and as she did he felt a pit form in his stomach. Leaving that smile behind was going to break his heart.

Chapter Text

    Porche isn’t sure if anything in particular woke her up. Perhaps it was Katakuri’s breath on her neck as he mumbled in his sleep. Maybe it was the thought of him getting in trouble for staying the night, personally she was quite happy he did. Unfortunately, as much as getting caught with him would only be a boost to her ego; she knew it would serve to further embarrass him. From Brûlée’s call she got the impression that like any true family they all had dirt and secrets they passed around behind their mother’s back. Katakuri was the beloved big brother and as much as he could do much worse than her, she knew she wasn’t the kind of girl you present proudly to Big Mom. She gently pushed herself out of Katakuri’s arms and sat up. Porche draped her arms over her knees as she pulled them to her chest.

She pushed her hair back and stared down at him. He slept on his side and she was tempted to trace his scars, trace his tattoos; kiss him and gently run her fingers across his scalp. But she was not naive, that would only make leaving harder. This was once, as much as she’d like to see him again or take him with; she knew that wasn’t possible. The only way it could even be possible was if the whole crew stayed, an alliance perhaps. Boss’ had said that a pirate alliance was like putting a band-aid on a sinking ship, it was just a matter of who jumped out first. Porche sighed as she got up and quietly opened one of her dresser drawers. Pulling out a bikini and slipping it on. She glanced back at Katakuri and even in the dim light from the bathroom night light she could tell he was trying his best to pretend he was still asleep. Her biggest clue was the fact that he had completely rolled over to watch her.

Subtlety was shockingly not his strong suit. She walked into the bathroom and this time she heard him roll over before poking her head out to confirm it. Porche smiled, it was a kind of behavior that didn’t match the whole stoic tough guy she’d read up on. It did match the chronically shy and absolutely adorable man in her bed though. She brushed her teeth and went about her usual morning routine. Finally she pulled out an extra toothbrush as she brushed her hair, she paused as she heard rustling in her room. She moved to lean on the doorframe and was greeted by a completely naked Katakuri on all fours looking under her bed. 

“Good morning~❤️” She said and he looked up for half a second before going right back to rifling under her bed.

“Good morning. Have you seen my underwear?” He asked and she thought for a second.

“Y’know now that you ask, no.” Porche said as she finished brushing her hair, “Can’t you just look ahead to see when you find them.” 

“They weren’t there.” 

“What do you-?” She started and he answered before she finished.

“The future is not a certain outcome, all kinds of things affect it.” He stated.

“Fine but-” She tried again.

“Yes, even small things like not getting a good morning kiss. Or what color bikini you pick.” He sighed and sat up, scratching his head and yawning.

“Hm.” She said as she walked over to him and gave him a soft peck on the lips and grabbed his boxers from under her bed with her foot. She tossed it up in the air and caught it, dangling it in front of his face. “There’s a fresh toothbrush in the bathroom, I’ll get the rest of your clothes, since you’re so bad at locating them.” She said and he sat there waiting for her to call him on his obvious ploy to get a smooch. It was more fun to keep him guessing as he gave up and went into the bathroom. “Kata.” She said and he popped his head out.

“Yes?” He looked startled.

“You forgot your boxers, my liege .” As she held them out to him dangling on the end of her finger. 

“Oh.” He said dumbly and took them before darting out of view. She rolled her eyes and opened her closet, pretending to mull over the options she eventually pulled out one of her several identical jumpsuits. After slipping into it she went to the mirror and uncovered it. The note she’d written was missing so she assumed Brûlée had gotten her message. She grabbed her mask and hat and slipped them on. Adjusting it before covering the mirror back up. “Don’t try to stick your head through the mirror.” Katakuri said from the bathroom.

“What?” She said, confused.

“Brûlée is asleep, her powers deactivate when she is unconscious.” He came out of the bathroom fully dressed and she realized she didn’t even bother looking for his clothes. He had probably put the rest in there in the middle of the night. She frowned at seeing his scarf covering him up again but asking him to walk around without it was definitely overstepping in multiple ways.

“Well, I guess you already know I’m going to check on the Boss and you have to get back to your crew.” She awkwardly stared as she grabbed her gloves and boots. Porche slipped them on as she waited for Katakuri to go to the door so they could exchange pleasant but meaningless goodbyes.

“I still want to check on my sister, and well…” He trailed off.

“Are you worried you’re going to get lost?” She asked but then a lightbulb went of in her head.

“No, it’s just that we’re going to the same place and it’s faster if- don’t look at me like that.” He said, pushing his scarf up.

“Like what? And yeah, can’t have you wandering around unsupervised. Might freak people out if you get spotted.” She finished deciding to spare him from teasing, for now. 

“Exactly.” He said and she opened a drawer to grab a keyring before opening her door.

“Alrighty, I’ll make sure the coast is clear. Then you can chat up your sister and bounce out through the mirror.” She said and he looked off put by her word choice.

“Sure.” He agreed and she walked out into the hallway. He crawled through her door and she locked it behind him. The two started down the opposite direction from where Katakuri had come from. They walked down what Porche called the main crew hallway. This was reserved for crew members that performed well in Davy Back Fights or had personal connections to her, Boss, or Hamburg. Itomimizu, Gina, Pickles, Big Pan; they all had rooms in this section of the ship. As they quietly passed by Capote’s door they paused as it slowly creaked open. Katakuri went to slip around the corner but Porche grabbed him and whispered for him to wait as she snickered behind her hand. Oven came out cursing under his breath as he quickly shut the door and adjusted his belt before realizing he wasn’t alone. 

“Brother?” Katakuri said the genuine confusion in his voice almost made Porche burst out laughing. She controlled herself as he finished. “What on earth are you doing here?” 

“Hey, I could ask you the same thing. Hanging around with a floozy below decks on an enemy ship.” Oven tried to sound accusatory, but it fell pretty flat considering the obvious tryst he just departed from.

“I’m just taking him to see Brûlée. What’s your excuse?” Porche asked, wanting to see what dumb thing he was going to say.

“Huh? Why would she be here? Wait, did we lose?” She watched his face fall as her smirk clued him in. “Shoot.” He said turning red as he covered his face with his hand. 

“It’s a long story, especially since I haven’t seen you since we left the infirmary tent yesterday.” Katakuri mused as he finally got it, “That fishman, Capote was it? He’s okay right?” Porche couldn’t help herself this time as she laughed and Oven groaned.

“What the hell Kat, that’s not even close to an appropriate question.” He grumbled still trying to be quiet.

“I mean, Capote grabbed some condoms from me. So, they were safe at least.” Porche said as she wiped tears from her eyes.

“So, that’s how you knew. Nasty little bitch.” Oven growled.

“You’re welcome~❤️ By the way.” Porche said.

“Oven! Don’t talk to her that way.” Katakuri said, his voice shockingly stern. Porche didn’t really care how Oven spoke to her, she already decided he was a disgusting little bug of a man so his opinion was irrelevant.

“Why is she your girlfriend or somethin’?” Oven taunted and Porche snorted, what a child! Kata didn’t say anything but she could tell he was blushing with the way he was adjusting his scarf. She turned back to Oven but his anger evaporated off his face and he looked between the two of them. Porche had enough of this as she went around the corner and had made it halfway down that hall before doubling back for Katakuri, still frozen in place. She grabbed his gloved hand as Oven approached. “Uh, you’re not mad are you Kat?” Oven asked, he sounded concerned which was frankly weird to hear from him at this point. She dragged Kata behind her and Oven plodded along with them. “Come on, she's just a flunky. You don’t need to get so bent about it.”

“Brother, she is a person. I would like you to show her a bit of human decency, please.” Katakuri stated and Porche appreciated that he wasn’t trying to wrangle the mythical apology out of him.

She paused and released Katakuri’s hand. As she went to turn around and go right back to showing them the way, Oven caught her by the shoulder. “What’s that?”

“What?” Her patience was at absolute zero with this man.

“That’s a nasty looking bite on your neck. An animal get ya?“ Oven said, and Porche looked at Katakuri with a coy smile. He looked tense as Porche opened her mouth.

“Oh yep, cute little chipmunk. I got in his personal space, so it’s my own fault.” She said and Oven nodded.

“I can’t imagine anything that leaves a mark like that being cute or little, but whatever. You know it kinda…”

“Kinda what?” She asked innocently.

“Nothing, I’m probably imagining it.” Oven said quickly and Porche decided to ignore his comment. Kata was totally flushed but she was content with ending this conversation there. After all, no point in wading into family drama with people she wasn’t ever going to see again.

“It’s not really that bad, is it?” Katakuri asked and Porche blinked. She shook her head and blinked again. What was he doing? Boss’ cabin was one more turn away, at the end of one measly hallway.

“No, it’s—” She started and he brushed her hair back to look at his own fang marks in her neck, “Fine!” She blurted. He knelt down to get a closer look and she made direct eye contact with Oven. To his credit he looked just about as shocked as she was. Porche could have sworn she felt Kata’s lips press to her skin but she didn’t see him move an inch. Her hand drifted to the back of her neck as she wordlessly turned away and practically sprinted down the empty hall. She sharply turned at the end and walked to the dead center of the next hallway. The door to Boss’ room was camouflaged but the doorknob in the middle of an empty hallway wall made it pretty easy to find. She smacked her cheeks to center herself, she didn’t even check to see if the other two had followed her. Porche caught them rounding the corner as she rapped her knuckles on the door.

“Boss?” She tried after hearing no answer. Porche tried once more before pulling out her key. She unlocked the door and gestured to the brothers to stay put. Gingerly, she cracked the door open and the small amount of light was enough for her to see both Brûlée and Boss were asleep and thankfully dressed. Hamburg sat in Boss’ chair, awake and reading a book. “Pst, stupid, get out of there!” She hissed and frantically waved him over. Hamburg closed his book and quietly exited the room. After gently shutting the door behind him, Porche had some choice words for him.

“How long have you been in there?” She hissed as she smacked his arm.

“Not long, just waiting for Boss to get up.” Hamburg whispered back.

“I have told you a billion times how creepy that is, especially when Boss has a guest.” She whispered back. Porche began to see Oven’s shoulders raising and falling as he was starting to understand he wasn’t the only one to bed one of her crewmates. Kata had already grabbed him and slapped a hand over his mouth. Porche quickly darted past them as she beckoned for Kata to follow her. After backtracking and making a very abrupt turn they wound up in one of several kitchens on the ship. Katakuri led Oven to the sink and released him before immediately spraying him with water. It evaporated into steam as it made contact with his body, which was mildly terrifying. Her and Hamburg watched tensely from the corner. After a very long steamy silence Oven spoke.

“So that little freak took Brûlée. I outta pulverize him just for that. But then, he takes her to bed. That scumbag.” He spat and Kata sprayed him again but that time it didn’t immediately evaporate. “Hey! Hey! Stop!”

“Will you calm down, I don’t like it either. But Porche has assured me that Brûlée went to see him willingly.” He said and Porche spoke up.

“Yeah, and besides, Boss just isn’t that type of guy.” She said leaning over a table and Hamburg nodded in agreement.

“Tsk, like you’re trustworthy. You—” Oven started his temper flaring and Katakuri cut him off.

“She is.” He said and tilted his head towards the door and Porche understood instantly.

“Hamburg, why don’t you go see if the Boss is awake. We need a minute, please.” She said and Hamburg nodded as he left. Porche knew he’d want to know everything later and she’d give him only as much detail as she thought necessary. She waited until the sound of his footsteps disappeared before she nodded. What she didn’t expect was for Katakuri to take off his scarf. Her jaw dropped as Oven launched into a panic.

“Kat, what are you doing? She’s still here. We’re-”

“Oven, she knows.” He said and Porche watched Oven silently shamble over to a chair and almost missed it as he sat completely dumbstruck. So much for staying out of family drama.

Chapter Text

   Brûlée has had some rough mornings in the past. Having a man like Hamburg loom over her as she roused from sleep should have been disturbing but it didn’t even crack the top twenty for her. It wasn’t pleasant, don’t get her wrong it just didn’t have anything on being a Totto Land resident. The shriek that erupted from beside her startled her more than anything.

“Hamburg! I have told you a thousand times, don’t loom over me when I sleep. How’d you even get in here?”

“Key.” He said plainly.

“I thought I confiscated it.” Foxy said, completely ignoring Brûlée’s presence.

“Got a new one.” Hamburg said and laughed a little.

“Feh, I’ll deal with you later. Good morning, my pet.” Foxy said and Brûlée frowned at him.

“Morning, and keep the pet names to yourself please.”

“Didn’t like that one?” He said, kissing her forehead.

“No.” She replied, caressing his chin. Hamburg cleared his throat, thoroughly ruining the moment. She gave up staying in bed as she tossed off the covers. “Well, there must be something going on if you’re in here disturbing us.”

“I doubt it. Him and Porche barge in on me all the time. Despite my best efforts.” Foxy said, tossing an absolutely scathing glance at Hamburg. The larger man appeared unbothered as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Hold it, I can guess. Katakuri is here and that’s causing a problem.” Brûlée said drolly. 

“Actually it’s Oven that’s mostly causing the problem, or the soon to be problem?” Hamburg said, he seemed unsure.

“Of course, typical, typical. Do you mind if I go sort them out?” She said, raising her voice to ask Foxy. He’d migrated to the bathroom, but didn’t bother turning around as he responded.

“What are you asking permission from me for? Oh I suppose I am your captain. Well, go ahead. I’ll get ready and join you shortly.”

“Oh, I should probably do that too.” She said sheepishly as she grabbed the sides of her dressing gown, “Do you mind?” She asked snidely as Hamburg stood unbothered as ever. “Forget it, I’ll do it later.” Brûlée figured it was probably best not to doddle around with Oven about to go off. She glided past Hamburg and into the hallway and just as she realized she had no idea where she was supposed to go the large lacky stuck his head out the door.

“Take a left, a right, and then another sharp right. It’s a kitchen and it should be the first door. If you find an infirmary, you’ve gone too far.” He said and shut the door before she could thank him. She followed his directions and sure enough opened the first door which was in fact a kitchen. Seeing Katakuri without his scarf was a surprise though. Brûlée quickly shut the door behind her as she saw a catatonic Oven and Porche who was probably caught up in all this by mistake. After a deafening silence Oven opened his stupid mouth.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re straight. My guess was gay. Daifuku said aromantic. I think he was just projecting honestly.” He said and Brûlée was deeply confused, it was far too early for this.

“What? What the hell are you talking about? Why are you- nevermind I already know that.” She said, immediately understanding how this had likely happened.

“Sis! Guess who got himself laid last night?” Oven hollered, and Brulee hoped the whole ship was soundproofed.

“Gross, Oven—“ She started and Oven then pointed at Kata. He looked positively embarrassed and things were not clicking for her yet.

“Stop, stop talking.” Porche said her expression was absolutely mortified. 

“Yes, please stop talking.” Kata said and Oven frowned but stood up and gave his brother a slap on the shoulder.

“Come on, you could do worse. Hey, I’m trying to be supportive. A lot of us are getting too old to be married off anymore.” He rambled and Katakuri buried his face in his hands. “When’s the wedding?”

“Wedding?! Oh my god, you’re kidding! No!” Porche said completely offended.

“Oven, stop talking.” Katakuri said, holding his hands together begging for him to shut his mouth and listen to what he had to say.

“Kat, I have never, let me repeat, never seen you express anything even remotely close to a romantic interest in anything. Well, maybe for donuts. So a person is a major improvement.” Oven finished, way too happy as he sat back down and smiled at Brûlée. Her current theory was that Porche and Katakuri being seen together equaled a relationship in Oven’s mind. He’d done this before to Daifuku and it went about as well as it was going now with Kata .

“Oven, I don’t think—” Brûlée started to say as Oven cut her off.

“Bru, Kat said she knew. She’s seen his whole face before right now.”

“Uh, huh. I’m sure.” Brûlée thought he was losing his mind. Oven scowled looking contemplative; a rare sight. She looked at Porche to try and comfort the poor girl. “Apologies, he’s always been like this unfortunately. A trait he has from Mama.”

“Hm, weirdly invested in his family’s fictional love life? How unfortunate.” Porche said nervously, twirling her hair around her finger. She flipped her hair back and Brûlée took note of the massive bite mark on her neck. It stretched across her shoulder from what she could see.

“Ooph, that’s nasty looking. What happened?” Brûlée asked, genuinely concerned. This poor girl couldn’t catch a break.

“She said a chipmunk bit her. I ain’t ever seen one that big though.” Oven said and Porche sighed. Brûlée’s sympathy quickly rescinded as she looked at Katakuri who suddenly refused to look directly at her. Goddammit Big Brother.

“A chipmunk?” Brûlée said and pictured Katakuri as a tiny little chipmunk. It was an adorable image. “And you believed that?” Brûlée asked and Oven gasped, mouth agape like a caught fish.

“You two lied to me.” He said and Brûlée pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah, okay. Wasn’t really gonna go there because I thought someone would be shy about it.” She said, as she slumped over the table. Porche sounded rightfully hostile and Brûlée laughed. The great Foxy Pirates fiasco would live in infamy as a new embarrassing family story brought up at tea parties for the foreseeable future.

“There, are you happy? Is this what you wanted?” Porche asked and Katakuri seemed disappointed by her response.

“Porche.” He said and she sat her head up to look at him.

“Don’t you “Porche” me. Can we just be done with this conversation?” Porche said and Oven snorted.

“No way! Mr.Chipmunk over there can’t just pull a stunt like this and get away with it.” Oven said yelling at Katakuri and Porche gave him a weary smile in response.

“It’s not a big deal.” Katakuri said, his face was very red.

“Kata, this is extremely irresponsible behavior from you.” Brûlée said, “I don’t know if that's a good or bad thing.”

“I have to tell Daifuku! He’ll be so disappointed.” Oven said but he seemed excited about the idea.

“No!” The other three yelled in unison.

“Come on Kat, it’s not cool to keep our triplet out of the loop. I think he should know about your girlfriend.”

“Wait, you’re a triplet! With him of all people!” Porche said, pointing at Oven.

“You didn’t know that?” Brûlée asked.

“No, why would I? They’re nothing alike. Like not even close.” Porche said, still horrified.

“We share some qualities. Personally, I think Daifuku and I have more in common.” Katakuri said, “How is that any different from him just being my brother?” He asked and Porche got more flustered.

“It’s just different, okay? I DO NOT want to elaborate.”

“Daifuku used to say he was adopted. If that helps.” Brûlée said and Oven pouted.

“Sis! That’s not funny, don’t tell her that!”

“He still says it.” Katakuri piled on.

“No he doesn’t! Stop it.” Oven said, folding his arms.

“I’m sure he doesn’t say it to you.” Porche said and Oven was threatening to boil over again as he started to turn pink.

“It feels like it's been ages since we talked like this.” Brûlée said laughing and she saw Oven sort of fizzle as his temper died down.

“Hey, yeah. Gosh, it’s probably been years.” Oven said and she was thankful his macho act had been abandoned at this point. He was clearly happily lost in memories of their childhood. She was content with a topic change at this point anyway. 

“Kata, you should probably cover your face back up.” Porche said and Oven seemed to snap out of it. Unfortunately, she was right. It’s not like the door was locked or anything.

“And here I thought you liked my cute face.” He said sassing her. Porche turned an adorable shade of pink. It was fascinating to see him speak to her so casually, but it was also a little nauseating.

“Hey, you know I do! And you—” She stared but let Kata finish.

“I know. Even if I don’t foresee anything, the future is uncertain. You are right, my little hummingbird.” He said and she flushed.

“Kata!” She scolded as he grabbed his scarf. It was then that the door swung open and Kata hastily held his scarf in front of his face. Brûlée blocked the doorway as Foxy tried to get past her.

“Hun, this is cute but a little weird. Can you let me in please?” Foxy asked as he was really trying to squeeze past her.

“No, uh, come back in a couple minutes?”

“Why is your brother standing there like a decorative lamp?” He asked as Katakuri met his gaze. As it turned out she’d accidentally made it so Foxy’s only line of sight into the room was exactly where Katakuri was.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, can you please let me in so you can tell me it?” He said still stuck between Brûlée and the doorway.

“Huh? Oh yes, sorry.” Brûlée said finally allowing him access. He tugged on his lapels and strode into the room. Katakuri stood there, his scarf thankfully back in place. Oven sat awkwardly crossing his legs and looking extremely suspicious. 

“Oh, you too huh? No way Porche invited you on board.” Foxy commented as Brûlée took a seat at the table with Porche and Oven. “Well, somebody start talking.” Foxy said and the silence that followed as all four of them mentally tried to agree on a story, shockingly this didn’t work out in their favor. “Okay, I’ll take a stab at it. Brûlée came to chat with me last night, got tired and slept in my cabin. Katakuri over there came and bothered Porche last night, from the bite on her neck I’d say you two had fun. And then, this one…” Foxy paused and looked at Oven blankly, “Came looking for Brûlée this morning? That’s my best guess.” He finished and Brûlée thought it was pretty bold of him to lie directly to her brothers’ faces.

She also supposed his casual suggestion of Porche and Katakuri’s intimate evening was a deflection, he wasn’t wrong but he surely couldn’t think he was correct. Although Brûlée supposed he had no understanding of Katakuri, but he definitely knew Porche though; perhaps too well. This sort of thing had probably happened before since he didn’t seem surprised.

“Sure.” Oven said and slapped his hands together as if ridding himself of the whole mess then and there.

“Actually, Oven came from Capote’s room.” Porche said and Oven slammed his palms down on the table.

“Tattle-tale!” He said and Brûlée rolled her eyes.

“Oh, weird. Boiling as foreplay. I don’t like that visual.” Foxy grimaced and rolled his tongue over his teeth, “Anyway, coffee?” He asked and Brûlée moved to the door frame again.

“No, thank you. I’m going to get changed. Please keep your hands to yourselves while I’m gone.” She said and she could see Foxy beaming with pride as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Hey, now. I might be irresistible but you have nothing to worry about.” He said and Brûlée just shook her head. It wasn’t even close to how her statement should be interpreted but she was tired of standing around in her pajamas.

Chapter Text

      After an uncomfortable breakfast Foxy was feeling pretty good about this next Davy Back Fight. They’d drawn quite the crowd this time. The remaining residents finally seemed comfortable enough to approach the new crew in town. He didn’t really blame their hesitance and as interesting as some of these people seemed, snatching up any of them would just upset Brûlée. So, he’d hold off for now.

Since Katakuri had joined them expectedly but still uninvited this morning he’d been following him and Brûlée around. Foxy still wasn’t sure what was going on between him and Porche, for her sake he hoped he was wrong about that bite mark. Katakuri was already scary enough he didn’t need giant sharp teeth in addition to everything else. Brûlée still refused to wear the customary mask of his crew. He wasn’t totally giving up just yet, but he’d never seen anyone drag their feet this much over this. Foxy had no idea what her problem was but it was low in his list of priorities. The rest of the Charlottes seemed more relaxed as they were intermingling with his crew and the island’s denizens. It made him consider that these Davy Back Fights must feel like a fun distraction compared to Yonko raiding their homes. Perhaps it was okay to be a little fish in a big pond, you know; temporarily.

“So, are there other events to these games or is it the same ones every time?” Brûlée asked. They were sitting on the edge of the stage. The frantic energy from yesterday had dissipated and it seemed no one was really in a big hurry anymore.

“The only limit is your imagination. We try to select ones that are, well…” Foxy trailed off but Brûlée understood and finished his sentence.

“Easy to rig.”

“I was going to say traditional, but that works too. Why are you asking?” He said and Katakuri responded because Foxy couldn’t be allowed to forget his looming presence for even a second.

“Because the barrel race should be switched out.” Katakuri answered. He sat beside Foxy with his arms crossed. His feet were planted flat on the ground from where he sat, which was more intimidating than it should have been. Foxy wondered if he had actually believed anything he’d said earlier. He knew better than to ask of course.

“Because of…Oven? Is his name really Oven?” Foxy asked.

“Yes, and yes.” Brûlée answered and Foxy shook his head.

“Well, that’s…depressing.” He said.

“Is Foxy really any better?” She asked and Foxy pretended to clean out his ears.

“A relay race?” Katakuri asked. Foxy was going to offer alternatives but that was a good suggestion.

“Hey! Don’t ignore-” Brûlée started.

“On roller skates.” Foxy said.

“Why on roller skates?” Katakuri asked.

“Really? Both of you?” She said her tone was contemptuous but she was quirking a small smile.

“Because it’s more fun that way.” Foxy said, “What’s the point of playing games if it’s not fun?”

“So says the cheater.” Brûlée said.

“Well, it is more fun if you know you’re going to win.” Foxy stated, it was a simple fact. He didn’t understand Brûlée’s belaboring of that topic.

“You and Mama would get along very well I think.” She said and Foxy considered her words.

“I feel like that should be a compliment, but the way you’re saying it isn’t.” He scratched his chin as he thought more about the comparison, “If it’s about that alleged beheading, all I will say is people like to make up some crazy stories. Besides, it was an arm anyway.” Foxy concluded and Brûlée and Katakuri looked at him in total silence.

“What the actual hell are you talking about?” Brûlée said.

“It’s not important. Roller relay it is then.” Foxy said.

“I-okay. You’re not going to elaborate are you?” She asked and they both knew full well that he would not.

“The other two events are acceptable.” Katakuri chimed in and for once Foxy appreciated his presence. He then stood abruptly and grabbed a clipboarded form. “I’m going to wrangle our siblings to fill this out.” And with that he simply strode away.

“Sheesh, he’s to the point isn’t he?” Foxy said, a teensy bit offended by the hasty departure after shadowing them all morning.

“Meh, he’s always been like that.” She said.

“Even when he was a kid?” He asked.

“Yeah, but it was more like “I’m bored, so I’m leaving now” type deal. I think he’s trying to be a bit more relaxed.” Brûlée said, a soft smile spread across her face.

“He’s doing a bang-up job of it.” Foxy said as he propped his chin against his fist.

“I’m glad he’s trying, but it’s not easy to change your behavior after like…” She paused and blew air out her mouth as she thought about something, “38? years. Gosh, it has been a long time.” She said more to herself than to him.

“I would say so, I barely existed then.” Foxy said and she was pulled from her thoughts.

“Oh, yeah. You look terrible for your age by the way.” Brûlée said and he felt himself crumple.

“Must you?” He muttered and she laughed at him.

“Force of habit, and besides I’m just a teensy bit angry that you’re younger than me. It makes me feel so old.” She said and stuck out her tongue at him in a playful way.

“Really, before you brought it up; I would have said you were younger.” Foxy said and Brûlée rolled her eyes. Despite her irritated expression she snaked her hand around his waist, pulling him right beside her.

“Oh, I’m sure. What comically low number are you going to say, little man?” She gently scraped her nails under his chin. Foxy was surprised by her open affection towards him, not that he minded. He actually thought about reminding her that they were in public but he was fairly certain she was well aware.

“30.” He said and she looked at him mildly perplexed before nodding.

“That’s actually not a bad guess, but no. I’m 43, since gentlemen don’t ask such questions.” Brûlée said, mocking him with that last bit.

“That’s not that much older.” He said.

“13 years is a pretty big difference. Which is flattering, thank you.” She said practically purring into his ear.

“I-I just thought you and Porche were around the same age.” He stammered out as she twirled one of his hair peaks around her finger.

“Wait, she’s 30?!” Brûlée asked, abruptly stopping and holding him at a distance to look at him properly.

“Yeah? Why would I lie about that?” Foxy asked, genuinely confused.

“Huh, I guess I should be more flattered in that case.” She said, going right back to showering him in affection and nibbling his ear. In spite of himself, he squeaked and covered his face with his hands. Brûlée pulled him into her lap, this must be how small animals felt around Porche. It was a bit much. 

“Uh, Brûlée?” Foxy mumbled from behind his hands.

“Yes? What is it?” Her voice was soft and he still didn’t oppose the affection, but he knew he should probably not indulge her too much. Not unless he wanted to be beaten to death by her brothers earlier than scheduled.

“Can I ask about your scar?” He asked and her touch retreated from him. Foxy assumed such a personal question would derail her train of thought and keep her hands off of him for quite awhile.

“That’s-, it happened when I was 5. It was bound to happen to one of us eventually. Mama just sort of left us to our own devices before Totto Land was founded. I wasn’t even the only one that got attacked, mine just had lasting damage.” Her answer was somewhat vague but Foxy could fill in the gaps himself. It had also confirmed his suspicions that her life had been quite harsh. He considered asking what kind of monster would disfigure a child like that, but he already knew that answer. It was people like him, it was people that were desperate to come out ahead. He’d never really stooped that low, but he still knew he was far from above it. She continued, “I just wish it hadn’t affected him so much. I just wanted to stand up for him, for us. It was naive of me to think that would come without a price.” She smiled again though it was sadder expression overall.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up such a sad memory.” Foxy said but knew that was his exact intention.

“Meh. What’s done is done. Besides I earned this!” Brûlée said as she pointed proudly to her scar. The sadness had left her voice as she smiled down at him. He felt himself wilting under radiance. “It’s a good reminder for me to keep supporting Big Bro in whatever way I can.” Her voice had a soft lilt that sounded childlike, it was quite sweet.

“That’s why you won’t wear the mask then, it’s a pride thing.” Foxy said and she rolled her eyes.

“Sure, it’s totally that and not that because it’s stupid and embarrassing. Like you.” She said but it didn’t make him feel any worse than he already did. “You aren’t doing your whole depressive episode thing, you okay?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, um it wounds me deeply or something…” He mumbled as he avoided eye contact.

“Oh, don’t go brooding over it. I made my peace with it a long time ago.” Brûlée said as she scratched her scar. He knew that was a half truth but he knew better than to call her on it.

“I’m sorry for asking.” He said.

“The last thing I need is someone like you feeling sorry for me.” She huffed as she pushed him out of her lap. Foxy tumbled onto the ground laying at her dangling feet. He just stayed on the ground for a moment. Foxy contemplated ending the conversation there, but he decided he had to say something. He sat up and looked up at her. Brûlée held his gaze as he got up and dusted himself off. He fluffed his coat on his shoulders as he spoke again, “I don’t. I just have more respect for you.”

“Tsk, idiot.” She huffed as he watched her. Blush tinted her cheeks as she kicked her dangling feet. And she made fun of him for having a praise kink.

“You’re so much tougher than I thought Brûlée, and I already thought very highly of you.” Foxy said and hoped she could understand his sincerity. She squirmed under his gaze and he thought back to his youth. If he had been told that after his boxing license was revoked he would not only become a pirate but have a hot forest witch practically melting for him; he probably would’ve thought the entire thing absolutely hysterical. He awkwardly walked over to the steps and ascended them. He would have liked to jump onto the stage in some kind of romantic fashion, but he simply wasn’t built to be quite that agile. Brûlée covered her face with her hands as she laughed at him. He leaned over her shoulder and she removed her hands.

“Bite me.” She said lightly smacking his chest and Foxy smiled as he couldn’t help himself, leaned down to kiss her. He felt Brûlée’s surprise as he guided her head. Her jaw dropped open to speak but he just pressed his tongue into her mouth. Brûlée shivered as he bit her bottom lip and pulled it back with him as he broke the kiss. Foxy let her lip drop from his teeth as he released a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in.

“Your wish is my command, princess.” He said and strode off behind the curtain, leaving Brûlée sitting on the edge of the stage. Her expression was frozen in a blissful confusion as she weakly reached for him.

Chapter Text

“Get a room!” Cracker yelled and Brûlée was pulled from her lack of thoughts. Her realization that she had actually been swooning yet again over this man infuriated her.

“Mind your own business.” She hissed and didn’t like how out of breath she sounded as Cracker walked over and hoisted himself to sit on the stage, uninvited.

“I was. Until you two started making out for everybody to see. Super gross by the way.” He said, his classic smug grin spread across his face.

“That’s all you have to say?” She said, her voice returning to its natural tone.

“Well, I was going to apologize for stranding you with the weirdos yesterday. But…” He trailed off and simply grinned at her. Brûlée really didn’t want to be part of this conversation. Thankfully, Foxy returned with Porche in tow. Cracker winced at his return and wordlessly slid off the stage and skulked back from whence he came. Brûlée prepared to do the same as she was no longer needed for that stupid opening ceremony. It had been nice to be in charge for a little while even if no one really listened to her, like usual. Foxy’s hand on her shoulder stopped her from hopping down.

“And where do you think you’re going?” He asked and she huffed.

“I’m just getting out of the way. Do you need my assistance?” She leaned back, her shoulders coming up to his waist. Lazily she pressed her face against his exposed stomach, he brushed his knuckles over her cheek as he reached for her hand pulling her up by her arm and twirled her around to face him. He didn’t have enough force to hurt her with the motion but it wasn’t exactly graceful either. Brûlée saw a tenderness on his face that she didn’t want to admit was quite nice.

“I want you to stay up here with me. You know, for moral support.” She watched his lips linger on the “m” in moral and her mind was going in a direction it most definitely shouldn't be. Damn him.

“Is that all you want?” Brûlée asked in a seductive rumble as she pressed their chests together. He looked pensive before slipping back into his normal insufferable cocky demeanor.

“Hm, there were some things we didn’t…discuss last night that I would love to. But that will depend on how things go.” Foxy said and he twirled one of the strands of her hair that framed her face. Brûlée bit her lip. A very loud creak emitted from directly next to them as Porche was leaning over slightly, making direct unblinking eye contact with them. Her expression could be described as blank but there was something disturbing about seeing a woman with a resting smile seem to force it into a vacant state. They stood there like that for at least a few minutes before Kata also returned to the stage.

“Porche, you know what to do with this, yes?” He said totally ignoring the scene in front of him.

“Yep, hand it.” She said as she switched right back to her bubbly old self. Taking the whole clipboard she scurried away without saying a single word to the couple. Brûlée knew Porche was the last person to be prudish, which made her reaction extremely disturbing. Between that and Hamburg’s breaking and entering, she was starting to think Foxy might share her high tolerance for bizarre behavior from loved ones. A specific tolerance to be sure, but it was important to develop around her family.

“I know it’s a thing for couples to stare longingly into each other’s eyes, but I was under the impression that you don’t do that with an audience.” Katakuri said as he was looking anywhere but at them. Brûlée wondered why Foxy hadn’t said anything. He too looked disturbed, but he seemed to shake it off as they separated.

“Yes, uh, anyway.” Foxy said, he still seemed a bit distracted as he pulled the coins out of his coat. “Coin toss, roster announcement, you know all this already?”

“As much as I cared to absorb, yes.” Katakuri confirmed. Brûlée decided she’d just stand out of the way behind the two. She let out a deflated breath as she stood around, trying not to think about what she could be doing besides playing these stupid games right now. Porche returned just as quickly as she’d departed and despite her coming to stand next to her, neither of them made an effort to converse. Brûlée watched Foxy ramble on with his typical bravado. She was mildly intrigued that he had handed the coins to Kata. He flicked them into the ocean and she was very grateful he didn’t shoot them directly through Foxy’s skull, or anyone else’s for that matter.

Brûlée acknowledged the announcer guy was speaking but she was more focused on Foxy turning to look at her. That tenderness from earlier still lingered in his eyes. It was kinda ruined when he wiggled his weird eyebrows at her “seductively”. Brûlée was undeterred at this point and she tried to think about something that wasn’t stealing him away for a quickie. There was a very faint tinge of purple on his lips, he’d gotten most of it off without being prompted. He could be trained. This information was detrimental in trying to be less aroused.

Katakuri and Porche strode off the stage as the crowd started to migrate to… wherever the hell the roller rink was going to appear. Foxy lingered behind with her as he held out his hand before retracting it, as she just stared at him. She watched as he sauntered down the stairs stopping at the bottom and smacking both hands against his face. He then did an oddly familiar shuffle with his feet, it was an odd little crisscross jumping motion. He seemed to be psyching himself up as he turned to face her again, he looked so small from where she stood on the stage. Foxy’s expression was his usual unpleasant one but once again, it wasn’t deterring her.

“Brûlée?” He said and she wondered if they’d really be missed all that much if they snuck off. Brûlée’s feet moved on their own as she sprinted off the stage after him. His face dropped as he took large backward strides in an attempt at keeping some distance between them. She watched him slow to a stop as he gradually gave up trying to outrun her. She knelt as she approached him and took his hand in hers. He looked like a sopping wet dog and he seemed afraid more than anything. Brûlée felt her mouth open as she tried to gather her thoughts into a coherent sentence.

“Um, Brûlée? We should catch up with the others. They might get concerned.” Foxy said.

“I want you.” She blurted, it was inelegant but to the point. 

“Wha?” He said as he tried and failed to pull his hand away. 

“Foxy, think about it.” She said and watched his jaw drop.

“Uh, I mean, I know I’m great and all, but—hey! Get your hand out of there!” He shrieked as she dipped her fingers into his waistband.

“You’re doing a really great job at trying to convince me this isn’t worth it, Captain.”

“What—wait, Oh! Are you nuts?! It’s going be so obvious what we’re doing, are you trying to get me killed?!” He yelled as she quickly conjured a mirror.

“Okay, I can take care of myself. I’m quite used to it, just thought it would be faster if you helped.” Brûlée sighed as she stepped part way through the mirror.

“Wait a minute.” Foxy said as he followed her through the mirror. She led him to her mostly rebuilt house, there was still the odd hole here and a bit of water damage there but it’s not like it had to be weatherproof. She held the door open for him and then led him to her bedroom.

“Not a bad little place, a witch living in a gingerbread house is cliché but it suits you.”

“So, now I am a witch now? Perhaps I should eat you?” Brûlée said and she watched his brain work at the unbelievably slow pace that it did. He really was more trouble than he was worth, perhaps this was the sunken cost fallacy in action. 

“Oh like—“ Foxy started but she cut him off.

“Get on the bed before I change my mind.” She said and he did as he was told. There was no way this would be quick, but she was going to enjoy every second of it.

Chapter Text

Foxy knew this was a bad idea, unfortunately he was having trouble thinking about much of anything other than Brûlée’s hands pulling his pants down to his ankles. He was perched on the edge of her bed and she was knelt between his legs on the floor. Internally he was panicking about whether or not he should take off his coat and whether or not she should take off her dress. Brûlée was not concerned with such things as her face was buried into his pubes. She kissed along the base of his cock and he grabbed the back of her head. Mostly to steady himself but also out of paranoia as his eyes darted around the room nervously.

“Foxy, relax. This won’t take long.”

“But what if…I cum all over your face? What if it gets in your hair? What if we're gone too long and someone comes looking for us?” He said frantically and Brûlée moaned as she cupped his balls. She ran her tongue from base to tip taking a pearl of precum into her mouth.

“Mm, they’d see quite the mess wouldn’t they? I don’t think they’ll be worried.” She said parting her lips to press a kiss to the tip of his cock. One of his arms shot back to cover his face. Considering last night he really shouldn’t have been so embarrassed but, her movements were so lewd, so confident. It was a far cry from her fighting tooth and nail against having a good time. He wondered what changed as he lifted his arm just enough to watch her.

“Brûlée, you’re killin’ me.” He said as she hollowed her cheeks and effortlessly took him to the hilt. The pathetic noise that escaped his throat was accompanied by her humming in approval. Foxy felt himself grow uncomfortably hard in her mouth. She looked up at him through her eyelashes as she started to bob her head. She languidly pulled off to the tip only to shoot back down to the base. Her soft tongue lapped along the bottom of his shaft. He watched her hike up her dress and noted how one of her hands continued to fondle his balls but the other was between her legs stroking her the clothed lips of her vulva.

“Brû, god, fuck. You really enjoy this? You don’t mind giving instead of—” Foxy said, cutting himself off with a whine and thrusting his hips trying to match her. She pulled off his cock and spoke to him with her lips pressed to his tip.

“I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t think I’d enjoy it. Besides, you'll return the favor when I’m good and ready.” Her breath against his cock made him break out in goosebumps, “Can’t I enjoy sucking cock? Especially when yours is such a perfect fit.”

“That’s so dirty! Don’t say things like that!” His hands jumped to the boiling cheeks of his face, “It’s too much, Brûlée!” He started squirming.

“Go ahead and cum then, I want you to.” She purred as her dress slipped down her shoulders. Brûlée presented her tits to him, each of her hands supporting a single breast. Her tongue was extended out her mouth as she pressed it flat against his leaking tip. His brain was screaming at him not to cum. His self preservation instincts were trying so desperately not to make the massive mess that she wanted. “Won’t do it huh?” She asked, her usual bite in her words and a smirk across her face. He shook his head frantically, if she had asked last night he would’ve gladly indulged her. “Fine, then you’ll just have to wait until I finish.” She said and stood up.

Foxy was pushed flat on his back as she mounted him. Her hips coming to rest just above his face, he took a steading breath as she pulled off her panties. Her pussy sopping wet as she lowered herself onto his face. She had to be careful of his nose which was now only an inch or so away from her clit. Foxy was more than happy to oblige her, as he pressed a kiss to her lips before parting them with his tongue. She jolted at how quickly he got to work. His hands pushed down on her thighs so she was flush with his face. He heard her giggle as his nose pressed between her frontal lips, now flush against her clit. His tongue plunged into her opening and she started to rock back and forth on his face.

His breath was coming out in puffs as he was literally drowning in her pussy, her wetness soaking his chin and probably the collar of his coat. His cock was pulsing and he knew he was absolutely making a mess on her bedspread. Noises of pleasure poured out of Brûlée as he continued his work. Foxy pulled back from her pussy and took a shaky breath. “You doin’ alright?” Brûlée asked and she sounded genuinely concerned.

“Fine, better than fine.” He kissed her thigh in reassurance, “Forgot to breathe is all.”

“Oh for god’s sake, how can you stomach saying crap like that?” She asked and he gingerly inserted his thumb into her vaginal opening. She moaned as his tongue joined it, making circles as he plumbed her depths once again.

“Oh, close! Close! Please!” Her mewling wasn’t helping him think straight as he tapped her thigh and pulled his mouth off of her, “Foxy? Hun? Are you alright?”

“Lay down on your back.”

“Oh-okay.” Her voice was nervous but she did it. His fingers went to her clit as he spread her open. She played with her nipples as she finally tipped over the edge and came. Foxy waited for her walls to unclench before he pulled his fingers out and awkwardly fumbled to a standing position on her bed. He took himself in hand and stroked himself to his own climax, spurting Brûlêe with cum. She cackled as she reveled in the mess he made of her chest. He thought his aim was pretty good but before he could really say so his legs gave out and he almost joined Brûlée in a sticky pile, thankfully she had enough clarity to catch him with her hand.

“Please tell me you have more than one coat.” She said, biting her lip.

“Wha? What for?” He slurred and she gently sat up to pull the coat off his shoulders.

“You might want to uh, rinse the back of the head part. Like now.” She sounded embarrassed and he looked back at it from where it ended up on the floor. The back of the oversized collar was obviously wet. As he turned back to Brûlée he got a very good view of his handiwork. His load was dripping between her tits and down her stomach, and it was just reaching the top of her thighs. It was a beautiful picture but unfortunately his own clarity was slowly returning to him. As the horny part of his brain give him back control he had a terrible realization: he was so deeply and truly fucked.

Chapter Text

Porche paced around the normal patch of ground in the middle of the roller rink. She looked up at Katakuri occasionally and she wasn’t getting much from his demeanor. Boss hadn’t followed them right away which was fine, the teams needed a bit of practice anyway. She watched a very short woman skate past followed by the cute bunny from earlier, he had quite a bit of trouble even after ditching the cloak he’d been wearing. Capote dashed around him and then glided past them on a single leg. Porche was surprised he seemed so spry after his activities, he was usually not very energetic the next day; she didn’t want to think too hard about it. Boss being late to a Davy Back Fight round was unheard of and with Brûlée missing too she had a guess at what was keeping them. She approached Katakuri and he spoke first.

“Yes, we should start without them.” He said.

“Your sister is a bad influence.” Porche said, as a guy that looked like a pumpkin did a jump like he was ice skating. He somehow landed it and kept going.

“No, that would be your captain.” Katakuri said, and then paused. He actually looked a little confused, “Did you put more clothes on?”

“It’s the team uniform.” She answered, “Wipe that smug smirk off your face.” He adjusted his scarf and she folded her arms. Bullseye. “Who’s gonna cave first?”

“Cave?” He asked.

“Aw come on mister future sight, Boss and your sister. If they were going to kill each other it would have been long before now.” Porche said, “But they haven’t just dropped the pretense and admit they like each other.”

“There’s still time for Brûlée to kill him.” Katakuri replied and that did get her, and a chuckle escaped her mouth.

“That’s mean and don’t joke about that.” Porche said, smacking his leg with the back of her hand, “But how long do—”

“Well that depends. How stubborn is Foxy?”

“Very.” She answered.

“Hm, my sister has, shall we say, hang ups about relationships. If he’s truly persistent, it could take up to several years.” He said.

“Well, then we’d see a whole lot more of each other.” She said.

“That would not be a good thing.” Katakuri said and continued before she could ask her question, “You’d likely meet my mother and the other half of my siblings, it’s very fortunate that you didn’t.”

“If you say so. Is she really so bad?” Porche asked and she could tell Katakuri was floored by her question. His eyebrows shot up, “I know, I know. It’s just I don’t really have a lot of experience with family stuff. So like, beyond her reputation doesn’t she love you like any mom would?”

“In her own way, I suppose she does.” He said. That wasn’t a glowing endorsement.

“Sorry, I kinda forget that some people have complicated relationships with family. I don’t really have family like that. Sure there’s Boss and Hamburg but we didn’t meet till I was like 20? Then there’s the rest of the crew. Am I making sense? You haven’t interrupted for a bit.” She said, hopeful he would change the subject.

“…You really don’t have any blood relatives? Who raised you then?”

“Uh, I was in an orphanage for a bit, but then it burned down. After that I sorta ran away and joined the circus. They were pretty nice guys actually, taught me how to juggle and make bombs.” She said fondly.

“I don’t think normal circus performers make bombs.”

“What? Sure they do. Man, I haven’t thought about those guys in ages. I left them only a few years before I met Boss and Hamburg. I should look them up, see how they’re doing. Especially Mr. Buggs, he was such a funny guy.”

“Bugs? What was he a…clown of some sort?” He said dismissively but his speech slowed as he seemed distracted by something.

“Yeah! He was! Oh you already knew my answer I bet.” Porche said, crossing her arms in disappointment.

“No, no, it just seemed logical. But I can’t place where I’ve heard that name before.” Kata seemed bothered but Porche was thrilled. That means those guys finally got some notoriety. Even being a fleeting thought of someone in the New World was an accomplishment for people hailing from East Blue.

“…” Katakuri was lost in thought and she wondered why bringing up Mr.Buggs would bother him so much. Perhaps he was thinking about other things.

“Anyway, I’m just saying that I think it’s cool you have such a huge family. Again, totally get that your mom, like, murders people who don’t come to her parties. But when you’re a pirate you usually commit a little murder anyway.” She said with her hands out in front of her for emphasis.

“You’re right but you shouldn’t say that.” He said, whatever funk he was in seemed to pass, “I’m suddenly far less worried about you interacting with my siblings.” His eyes darted off to the side, “Anana! Take off those skates!” He yelled and sure enough the little knife wielding girl had a pair of skates in her free hand.

“Aw…” She sighed but she did at least pretend to go put them back. Porche quickly followed her and actually nabbed them from under the bench she’d hidden them under. She returned to Kata with the tiny child’s skates in her hands.

“Good catch.” He said and she rolled her eyes.

“I know you’re just saying that but, I was quite the troublemaker when I was little. So I also know better than to try and take the knife from her.”

“Some of my siblings haven’t learned that lesson yet, and some of them actually give her the knives in the first place.” He said, pinching his brow.

“You should try teaching her something constructive to do with the knives. Like juggling, or where to stab someone to maximize blood loss.”

“That is deeply irresponsible.” He said.

“It’s what I did when I was her age.”

“I…nevermind.” He paused before answering the question she had barely formed in her head, “I have no desire to have any children. 84 siblings is enough.”

“Aw, but…well I guess you probably have a lot of nieces and nephews too.” She said. Porche had known the ridiculous amount of Charlotte siblings before this moment. It didn’t really get any less daunting with time.

“Not really, they aren’t considered family because they aren’t related directly to Mama. So, most of my siblings don’t bother.” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “But yes, I am in fact an uncle.”

“That’s kinda hot.” She said in a way she hoped was playful.

“I was hoping you wouldn't say it.”

“Do you think Boss and Brûlée would have kids?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“I absolutely hate this question, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. That’s what’s been distracting you, isn’t it?”

“And yet, you feel the need to ask.” He said.

“Oh look, there’s the lovely couple now.” Porche said as Boss and Brûlée finally reappeared. They looked presentable at least. The pair walked over like they hadn’t been MIA for an extended period of time.

“Oh, you waited for us.” Foxy said, and he was slightly pink. He reeked of something floral and what Porche could only describe as a grandma smell. She tried to ignore it and what made it doubly weird, Brûlée didn’t smell like that at all. She just smelled normal, like soap and sugar.

“Well yeah, we couldn’t start without you Boss. Plus--”Porche paused as several of the participants crashed into each other behind her, “The teams needed a little practice.” After detangling the pile up of skaters Boss and Brûlée went and sat together on one of the benches in the center of the rink. At least they weren’t crawling all over each other anymore. Porche wanted to be supportive but that didn’t mean she needed to see them sucking face. Turning her attention to the track which was just a curved roller derby hoop with bleacher stands at the top. A bunch of Kata’s siblings sat up there, at least that was her best guess since Oven was up there. He sat right up front and had his arm draped over the edge. He leaned on his other hand and looked a little bored. She was thankful he didn’t try to make any eye contact or wave at her.

Itomimizu finally introduced the teams: Girarin, Jube, Capote, and Chiqicheetah for them and Kato, Myukuru, Randolph and Joconde for the Big Mom Pirates. Porche made sure that Boss didn’t need anything from her before quietly going to scope out the other team. All that really meant was getting a closer look at that adorable bunny rabbit. He was straightening out his whiskers as she cautiously crept up on him. His head popped up as she caught his attention. They had a bit of standoff as neither of them moved. His cute little nose twitched as he looked at her before looking at the ground trying to figure out how to quickly get away since he was still on skates. Unfortunately, Porche was lifted off the ground by the back of her shirt. She knew it was Kata so she didn’t bother struggling she just sighed as he walked her back over to her own team.

“Don’t bother Randolph.” He scolded.

“Awww, his name is Randy? He’s just so precious. I bet he’s soft too~❤️” She said as Kata gave her a pat on the head.

“Do not bother Randolph.” He wagged his finger in front of her face to try emphasizing his point.

“Just one pet. I promise I’ll leave him alone then.”

“Porche.”

“Pwease~🩷”

“No! Stop it!”

“You big meanie, just like your stupid brother.” She said and stuck out her tongue at him. He pulled her hat down over her eyes and she quickly pushed it back up but by that time he’d already walked back over to his team. She huffed and made a mental note to get back at him later.

“Porche, I wouldn't provoke him like that. He might tear you in half.” Capote said and boy, she wished.

“Nah, he’s a big ol’ cuddly teddy bear~🩷” She said, clasping her hands together as she thought about snuggling with him.

“…He looks more like an actual bear to me. Just be careful,okay? I don’t want you getting mauled.” Capote finished.

“Too late.” She said.

“What?”

“What?” She asked and he stood looking at her confused before his eyes widened with horror.

“You didn’t.” His voice was hushed. 

“Did what?”

“Porche no.”

“Capote, I have no idea what you're talking about.” She said, trying her best to feign ignorance. He sighed as the teams started to get into position. It was time for the relay race to start. Each team member had to do one full lap around the rink before passing off the baton to the next waiting teammate. Once all four teammates crossed the finish line that was it, simple enough. Capote looked disappointed in her but Porche just took out her pom poms and gave him her biggest, brightest smile.

Girarin and Kato lined up at the starting line. Girarin had his stupid fake blades on his arms but Kato didn’t really seem impressed or like he cared at all really. Was he even human? He had to be at least half, since he was introduced as a Charlotte. They both assumed the starting position and Porche clicked her tongue against her teeth as she turned to look at the love birds. Sure enough Boss was getting distracted by Brûlée again. They were holding hands and gazing away from each other like a couple of little kids. Katakuri was already approaching Porche with a starting pistol, but bizarrely he stopped and handed it to her. Before she could ask he answered.

“It’s better if you use this.” He said and she rolled her eyes but took the pistol all the same.

“Honestly, I kinda wanna shoot them too.” She said and pointed the gun straight up in the air and fired. And the skaters were off. Kato skated like there was no one else even on the track, Girarin was trying to intimidate him with his usual tactics but despite his jack’o lantern head he didn’t seem to be bothered by his blades at all. The amount of flourish as Kato performed twirls and jumps was impressive enough that Porche caught herself clapping. His showy skating also tripped up Girarin, literally. The fishman was knocked completely off his feet and Kato casually finished his loop and passed the baton over to Myukuru.

Porche was starting to get annoyed, Myukuru due to her extra long arms took the baton with an extra head start. That’s the kind of stuff Foxy pirates were supposed to pull, not these guys! Girarin finally sulked his way back to the beginning of the loop and handed it off to Jube who copied Myukuru’s tactic thanks to his stretchy arms. At least one person on their team was trying. Porche cheered him on as he used his stretchy squid arms to wrap around Myukuru. Her considerable lead didn’t matter as he was being pulled right to where she was.

“It’s been fun toots, but you gotta go.” Jube said as he surpassed her without letting go and building up a considerable distance between them. She tried to break free of his grip but he’d trapped her extra long arms at her sides. Just as Jube reached the hand off point he used his arms to fling Myukuru right over the curved edge of the rink, just barely missing the bleachers. Capote was next and considering Myukuru had to make it back to hand off her baton, they had a huge advantage. Porche looked at the crowd and continued her frantic cheering. So what if Boss was distracted, they could do this all on their own. She noted Oven had perked up at some point, and she honestly just hoped that was because of it being Capote’s turn. She didn’t want to know what he’d thought of the other two fishmen skaters.

Capote was doing perfectly as Myukuru shambled back to pass off to Randolph. She had a couple bumps and bruises but she’d be fine. Adorable little Randy was not a good skater, he was very slow and was wobbling quite a bit. His arms were helicoptering around in circles trying to maintain his balance. She spared a glance at Katakuri who was sitting pensively on a bench, far, far away from Foxy and Brûlée. Porche smirked before that was wiped clean off her face as she watched Capote nosedive about a foot away from the hand off point. He was clutching his leg in pain and she dropped her pom poms and ran over to him. The crowd had made relatively little ruckus but everyone seemed kinda confused about how he’d been injured.

“Capote, are you alright? What happened?” Porche asked, making sure he didn’t break his nose.

“Ah, I’m okay. I just pulled something, that's all. Here help me up.” Capote said and almost fell to the ground again in pain.

“No, you need to get that checked out.” She said. He could have a torn muscle for all they knew. There was absolutely no way he could skate on it.

“But I have to hand off the baton, that’s the rules Porche.” Capote said and she knew it was because he didn’t want a repeat of yesterday. It was then that Katakuri entered the scene and picked up the baton from where it had landed.

“Would it be fair to simply have your final skater start when Randolph finishes getting around the loop?” He asked and everyone turned to see the rabbit’s progress. He was almost halfway there. Nearly losing his footing but managed to catch himself and paused for a second.

“Yeah, that’s more than fair. It would actually be—-” Porche started and Katakuri interrupted her.

“It would be funny but you care about him too much to do that.” He stated.

“Yeah.” She conceded. Jube and Girarin helped Capote off the rink. Porche watched him go and saw Oven not so subtly muscle his way out the bleachers. She sighed as Boss and the witch seemed to be oblivious that anything had even happened at all. After this round Porche was gonna give that crone a piece of her mind. Randolph struggled for long enough that the audience began cheering him on, it got louder and louder until he finally stumbled over the finish line.

The bunny’s moment was short lived as Joconde, an extremely tiny woman, swiftly nabbed the baton from the rabbit and Katakuri handed their team’s baton to Chiqicheetah. There was absolutely no way a small human woman could outrun a cheetah. Porche was right of course, but what she didn’t account for was an absolute snake who had waited this entire time to strike. Just as Chiqicheetah placed the baton in his mouth and shifted into his full animal form, Brûlée asked a question.

“Sweetheart, would you mind showing me that neat little beam you make again?”

“Of course not.” Boss said formed his fox hand shape and fired a beam off to the side, purposely away from the skaters. Brûlée conjured a mirror and bounced it directly into Chiqicheetah. Joconde took off like a shot and Foxy’s jaw dropped. Porche put her face into her hands as she didn’t need to watch how this played out. Boss fired off two more beams in retaliation for Brûlée’s betrayal and both were deflected into the poor cheetah man. Porche pulled her head up to watch Joconde cross the finish line. She looked over at Katakuri and he simply turned his attention to the now squabbling pair.

“Wiwiwi, I told you. I never would’ve known that if you hadn’t told me, lover boy.” She cackled, Porche glared at her but it seemed to have little effect.

“You-you—-you double crossed me~❤️” Foxy said, he was blushing and avoiding eye contact with Brûlée. He was actually giggling, and as long as Porche had known him he’d never done anything even remotely close to giggling. Porche’s anger was fading a bit because of how strange this was. Katakuri was keeping a noticeable distance, which was fair enough.

“What is wrong with you?” Brûlée asked as Foxy took a knee and kissed her hand.

“Never in all my years have I met a woman so committed to trickery. So crafty, so patient, so beautiful.” He kept kissing her hand between compliments. Most people probably wouldn’t have put up with this but Brûlée wasn’t making much of an effort at stopping him.

“Kata, just pick me so I can get the hell away from him.” She said and Katakuri shook his head.

“As a family we already agreed on selecting Big Pan.”

“What?” Foxy and Brûlée said in unison. That seemed to knock Boss out of his romantic mood.

“You’re competing in the next round and it would be frowned upon to select you.” Katakuri said and Porche was so close to bursting out laughing.

“Big brother, you cannot be serious. You remember that I am your family too right? Your little sister has been kidnapped, and you’re picking some random guy over me.”

“Yes and I think you’re beginning to enjoy it, considering how much alone time you seem to be spending with your new captain.” He said and Brûlée sputtered.

“Ooo—this isn’t funny—”

“Good because it’s not a joke.” He said and Porche knew petty payback when she saw it. Brûlée looked like she was ready to kill.

“Foxy.”

“Yes, my love?”

“Give me the stupid mask.” She said, and Boss’ face lit up like a christmas tree.

“Really? You mean it?” He asked, and Porche pulled a spare mask out of her uniform pocket. Her malice had melted away since Brûlée seemed determined on getting even. Sure, she could just throw again and the game would be over but Brûlée clearly wasn’t thinking about that as Porche handed her the mask.

“Welcome to the crew, Brûlée~🩷”

Chapter Text

Boss was busy fawning over Brûlée since she finally got with the program. Brûlée was pretending she wasn’t enjoying the extra attention, even though she obviously was. Porche just rolled her eyes and let them be. She was really surprised Kata had done something like that but even he must have his limits. Porche made her way to the infirmary tent Capote ended up in. He was sitting up in his cot and cheerfully waved at her.

“You seem chipper, how’s your leg?” Porche asked.

“Heh, it’ll be fine. It’s just a mild sprain.” Capote said, his other hand was holding an ice pack on his ankle, “I’m not quite sure what happened, I did stretches beforehand and everything.” His voice was upbeat, so he wasn’t taking it too personally at least.

“Hey, sometimes these things just happen.”

“I know. But at least we won, right?” He said, and Porche thought briefly about lying to him. Capote’s small smile dropped when she didn’t immediately answer, “Oh…so we lost Ms. Brûlée then.”

“Not exactly, but weirdly I’d say losing that first round has actually given us a fighting chance in the Groggy Ring match.” Porche said, musing on the thought herself. Capote was perplexed by this but he didn’t pursue questioning her about it.

“If you say so.” He replied, Porche could tell he had something bothering him. She pulled another cot closer to him and flopped down onto it.

“You’re not going to blame yourself for losing our first rounds, are you?” She said and pursed her lips. He sighed as he answered her.

“That’s the trouble with talking to you, you always know when somebody’s not being straight with you. You’re not wrong though. I’m sorry about screwing things up.”

“Oven is the one who wrecked things yesterday, and it’s not your fault that you got hurt.” Porche grimaced as she recalled that big lug. She vaguely wondered where he’d run off to since he was nowhere to be seen.

“It doesn’t really make me feel any better about it.” Capote said and his face twitched as he adjusted the ice pack on his ankle. At the mention of Oven a little blush crept across Capote’s cheeks.

“I should have known.” Porche said, her voice pitched up as she made a smug expression at him.

“What are you talking about?” He asked.

“Capote, just because I don’t like the guy doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself.” She said.

“…I-I know that too. It’s, well, he did try to kill us.”

“Capote. Don’t deflect.” Porche pouted.

“Fine, you know how he was in the bleachers during the race?” Capote started.

“Yeah, you can see a guy like him from space.”

“Well, it made me feel sort of weird.” The blush on the fishman’s cheeks intensified.

“Awwww, wait, good weird or bad weird?” She asked and he shrugged.

“I mean, that was the first time I’ve seen him all day. He didn’t even wave at me or anything.” The poor man sounded dejected.

“Are you saying he snuck out on you this morning?” Porche asked but she basically already knew that. This was just getting confirmation.

“I guess. I mean, it’s not like he promised to be there when I woke up or anything. I’m overreacting, I know. This probably just means I can’t do hookups like this. I used to think that I felt weird about this kind of stuff because we were friends first or whatever. This is silly, forget I said anything.” He said.

“Hey no, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s totally okay to be sad about being ignored like that. Besides, it's a jerk move to dip like that without clearing it beforehand. Sure, you knew wasn’t gonna be a perfect gentleman. It still feels shitty to be totally blown off.” Porche was mostly irritated that Capote was catching feelings for someone as inconsiderate and stupid as Oven but that didn’t mean she was going to bully him about it. His feelings were valid and in spite of his recent behavioral changes towards her, they were still friends.

“…” Capote picked at the ice pack nervously.

“Do you want me to go find him and bring him here?” She asked, mostly teasing him but she’d really do it if Capote wanted.

“No, no, no. It’s probably better not to get super comfortable anyway, I mean we’ll be leaving today no matter what.” He said hastily. Porche felt her heart drop, it was true. Even if they won, at most that would mean they’d take Brûlée with them. Maybe, she could convince Katakuri to throw his match against Boss? No, she already knew he was too proud for that.

Porche’s gaze drifted to the tent flaps as she thought about a way to stay here, even just a little bit longer. She spotted a shock of bright orange hair and what was most definitely that stupid tiny cape Oven wore, they flashed across her vision briefly as he darted off to the side. Poorly hiding just beyond the tent’s opening. Capote didn’t seem to notice and Porche stood up pretending to make her exit.

“Well, I’m glad you’re not hurt too bad. And I don’t necessarily think Oven is the guy I would want for you but I’m just happy you’re putting yourself out there again. Strive for somebody that will really clicks with you.” She said and she hoped her words reassured him.

“Even if that’s Oven?” He asked quietly.

“Yes, even if it’s him.” She grumbled.

“Thanks, Porche. Hey, can I ask you something?” He said and scratched the back of his head with his hand.

“Of course, what is it?” She paused as she was about to pounce on the eavesdropper.

“How do you know that you ‘click’ with someone? Like do you and Katakuri ‘click’?” Capote asked it so earnestly, and it almost made Porche’s heart stop. She bit her lip as she thought about it.

“…I don’t think it’ll matter all that much but, I would like to think we do.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. But, I’d been watching you two chat before the race. And well, it’s silly but I could have sworn you both were on the same wavelength. I don’t know how else to describe it. Plus I’ve never seen you look so enamored by something without fur and a tail before.” He said, his mopey attitude starting to dissipate as he smirked at her.

“Hmph, you’re just saying that so I don’t yell at you for creeping on us.” Porche said, putting her hands on her hips indignantly.

“Maybe.” He winked and she rolled her eyes before turning around.

“Whatever, speaking of…” She huffed as she pulled back the tent flap and grabbed Oven by the arm. He was very startled at being easily dragged into the tent, or maybe he was surprised to be caught. 

“Oh, hey! Um exactly how long have you been out there?” Capote called cheerfully at first but quickly became nervous. Porche fully directed her attention to Oven. His shoulders were hunched and he at least had the decency to look guilty. His thumbs twiddled and his lips twisted on his blushing red face as he waited for her to speak.

“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?” She said.

“Hi. And mind your own business! I don’t have to justify myself to you. Besides, I just came here to get an ice pack. It’s not like I ran around looking for the tent he was in or anything.” His words had no bite to them and he must have overheard at least part of their conversation. This guy had the subtlety of a freight train.

“Oh! Was I too rough? I’m sorry. That’s probably why you left like that.” Capote said, the man looked like a kicked puppy.

“Uh, no, no, uh Capote, can we maybe hash this out later? Y’know without her here.”

“Damn Capote! You really went for it huh? Proud of you.” She gave him a thumbs up. She meant it too.

“Anyway, how’s your ankle?” Oven asked, trying to ignore Porche’s comments.

“It’s just a sprain. So, nothing serious.” Capote replied, happy to oblige.

“Good, that’s good.” Oven said, and the vibes were so awkward.

“So, why did you ditch him?” Porche asked.

“What? I didn’t ditch him, that’s just how casual hookups are.” Oven said.

“Uh, not that’s not really true. Besides Capote isn’t super good at the whole casual thing. It was kinda a big part of us breaking up.” Porche said and Oven somehow managed to turn even more red.

“What was the other reason?”

“Not important.” She said.

“It can’t be the sex, well actually you’re probably an uber kinky weirdo. So nevermind that tracks.” Oven said.

“Right, because sleeping with a guy you attempted to kill who then turned around and saved your life is a super normal thing.” Porche snapped back.

“Uh it’s a trope in like thousands of romance novels, so yeah it is.”

“Holy shit, you can read?!” Porche feigned being astonished and Oven looked ready to crush her skull.

“Uh you guys know I’m still here, right?” Capote said, clearly uncomfortable, “Porche, I know you’re trying to look out for me but fighting with him is just making me feel really really bad.”

“But he sucks! He’s rude and mean, and he hurt your feelings.”

“Porche, you are hurting my feelings too. Like telling me that you hate him makes me feel guilty about being…into him. Like really into him.” Capote was a deep green at this point and Porche felt terrible. She expected Oven to gloat about getting put in her place but he was totally silent. He walked out directly out of the tent and she watched Capote completely deflate. Porche never wanted her personal feelings to hurt Capote, especially because this back and forth was so childish and stupid.

She left the fishman to go hunt down Oven but he didn’t go very far. He was pacing around outside the tent fanning himself off with his hands. The grass was singeing under his feet and if Porche had to guess she’d say he was some mixture of embarrassed and flattered. She was proven correct when they made eye contact and the grass beneath his feet combusted. Porche quickly ran back into the tent to grab some water bottles. After they stomped and doused out the small fire, Oven took a deep breath and they both went back into the tent. He placed his hands in front of his mouth as he stood at the foot of Capote’s cot.

“…’m sorry.” He mumbled and Capote and Porche gave each other sideways glances.

“What?”

“I said I was sorry.”

“Oven, are you saying actual words? I can’t understand you.” Capote said with a small smile dancing across his lips. Oven knelt down so their eye levels were a bit closer and he removed his hands.

“You heard me. Now you’re just making fun of me.” Oven said, his demeanor was totally different. His voice was sort of timid and his mannerisms were way more fidgety.

“No, I really don’t know what you were trying to say. If it was an apology, thank you, but that doesn’t really help me understand what’s going on with you.”

“…Do you promise not to laugh?” Oven said.

“I promise.” Capote said, placing a webbed hand over Oven’s.

“I wanted to put some distance between us because my family is merciless. I’d be bullied so bad, you have no idea.” He said and paused, “Cracker already handed me a fish shaped biscuit so somehow he found out. Rumors are probably going around the whole crew now.” He sighed. “Man, I’m gonna be labelled a fish fucker. Hey! I don’t think you get how serious this is—Stop laughing!!!” Oven yelled at her but Porche couldn’t help it. A big guy like him worried about his little siblings making fun of him, it was adorable.

“That’s so cute~🩷”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! It’s not cute! And you promised.” Oven pouted.

“I didn’t promise you anything.” She giggled.

“While she is being really mean about it, she’s right it’s sorta adorable.”

“No, it’s not and stop with the cute stuff. Men don't like being called cute!” Oven said pouting even harder.

“Kata does.” Porche sneered.

“I do too.” Capote said, but his response was very earnest.

“…” The silence was palpable between the three of them.

“You called him cute?” Porche asked, a bit taken aback.

“No, I told him that he’s handsome and that he’s got soft beautiful hair…actually, I might’ve said his butt was cute. But that’s different.” He said, folding his arms with a triumphant look on his face before his eyes shot open and he buried his head in his hands, “Wait, I shouldn’t have told you any of that!”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t have. His butt is cute though~🩷” Porche said and Capote laughed. Oven was threatening to combust again when Capote leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. It made Porche feel super awkward despite the gesture not being all that intimate.

“See? Not a big deal. I can handle a little teasing.”

“It’s not just teasing. My family has a certain image of me.”

“What image is that? Total jerkwad?” She asked and he completely ignored her and continued.

“And my image is tied to my standing in the crew.”

“Okay?” She asked.

“It’s super frowned upon for us to pick our own partners. Anything more serious than a side thing will knock you down a peg or two on Mama’s list.”

“She has a literal favorites list?” Capote asked.

“No, Flampe does but; Mama definitely has favorites.” Oven said and Capote interrupted.

“But this is just a side thing. If you wanted to be discreet about it, you should have just said so. Unless—-”

“Yeah, I guess. Heh heh, definitely wasn’t thinking about—anyway!” Oven said, awkwardly catching himself before he could say something else embarrassing, “You can usually gauge where you're ranked. The best indicator is whether or not she remembers your birthday.”

“She forgets your birthdays?” Capote asked.

“Yeah, unless you’re Kat, Peros, Pudding, Anana, or Cracker. Otherwise she’s missed at least one of our birthdays.”

“That’s really depressing actually. I guess it’s a little challenging to remember 85 birthdays but, a lot of you share them, what with there being so many sets of triplets and twins.” Porche said, actually considering how much of a challenge that realistically was.

“You’d think that would help but no. We, our siblings, remember at least. It’s led to some funny stuff honestly. Like one year, Mama forgot Broyé’s birthday but still celebrated Brûlée’s and so Brû went to Mont-d’Or. He makes Mama’s schedules and calendars, she doesn’t really pay attention to them but Brûlée had Mont-d’Or put Broyé’s birthday on a totally separate day and month from her because she thought Mama would actually remember it then. She was totally right, so they’ve just kept it going now for years.” Oven seemed quite tickled by this story but Porche wasn’t seeing the humor. She just looked at him with so much pity. “My younger siblings made up a bunch of stories about why they have totally different birthdays despite being twins. Witch’s curse, medical anomaly, Broyé being secretly adopted, the list goes on.”

“That’s super sad.” Capote frowned up at him.

“What? Nah, a real sad one was Flampe’s 15th birthday. That’s when we officially join the crew and everything. Mama had made such a big deal of Pudding’s too. But anyway Kat swooped in to try and fix it. He was able to throw something together to make her feel better, even though it was pretty clear her special gift was just junk to Mama.” Oven paused in his rambling and took a deep breath before continuing, “On our 15th birthday we get a special gift to make us more useful as members of the crew. Kat, Daifuku, and I all got our fruits then. Pudding got her own personal homies since she already had a fruit. And Kat gave Flampe some fluffy balloon machine or something. Thing just seemed like junk to me, but she seemed happy enough getting special attention from Kat. Anyway, get the picture?”

“I guess.” Porche paused and contemplated all this new information, “Hey, why are you telling us all of this?”

“Huh, well you know. I kinda forgot you’re not officially engaged to Kat yet.”

“We’re not getting engaged or married, or anything like that. Will you quit with that?!” Porche said exasperated that he brought it up again.

“Woah, woah, pause. Porche, what did you do?” Capote asked, he wasn’t angry yet but he was working his way up to it.

“Kata and me had a good time together. That’s it. He’s the one making it weird.” She said pointing at Oven accusingly.  

“Sorry, sorry. But, I can’t stress how much he’s never shown this kind of interest in anybody before. He’s had hookups and stuff but, the way he acts around you; it might not seem like but he’s extremely comfortable around you. He doesn’t talk that much around someone that’s not family. Even with most of our crew he’s pretty distant. Don’t get a big head about it or anything, I just think you should know.”

“Oh, pfft.” She said, blowing a raspberry at him, “ ‘You’re so special and sweet, you’re the only girl for him’. What a load of crap. You just don’t want to see him get his heart broken.That's what you’re really trying to say. And look I don’t want to but you have to understand, I’m not abandoning my crew, Boss, or Hamburg for anything. I decided that a long time ago. You and I both know he feels the same way about your crew, your family.” Porche said, she sighed. It was a total impasse. “The only way I’d stay, that the whole crew would stay; would be if Boss stayed.”

“I think you’re being pretty harsh, Porche. But she is right.” Capote said.

“Sheesh, makes me wish sis had just skipped the whole Davy Back thing and just offered an alliance when y’all showed up. Could’ve saved us a whole mess of trouble.” Oven said, he seemed to finally understand that she wasn’t into the fairytale romance garbage.

“That was even a possibility?” She asked, extremely tired of this conversation.

“Sure, why not? Mama usually needs to give us the okay since well, we cement our alliances with a formal marriage. But those haven’t been working out recently, so that probably would have been flat out rejected anyway.” Oven mused and Porche almost asked him to elaborate on that but she was struck by an idea.

“Wait, what if they were already married?” She asked.

“Uh, but they aren’t?” Oven said.

“Duh, will you just think about it for a second.”

“Kinda don’t want to.”

“I’m being serious. Do you think your mom would remember that Brûlée isn’t already married?” Porche asked and Oven had finally caught up to her thought process.

“Maybe. Brûlée hasn’t been betrothed to anyone for at least 10 years. That’s true for a lot of us older siblings. Now that you say that I don’t remember Compote having a big wedding for her last husband. Granted he didn’t last very long, I wonder…” Oven seemed to be thinking, which was mildly impressive that he even could. Porche focused on trying to get him back on track.

“So, it’s possible to slip something like that past her. Especially if other things are going on, which they definitely are.” She said and he nodded in agreement.

“Slight snag, how are you going to convince them? Boss is bold but I don’t think he’d be that bold.” Capote said and the other two looked at each other worriedly.

“I might’ve already pitched something similar to sis and she uh wasn’t very keen on it.” Oven said and Porche pitched the bridge of her nose.

“So this idea can’t come from us.”

“Could it come from Kat?” Oven asked, matter of factly.

“That’s actually not a terrible idea.” Porche said.

“Why do you sound surprised?” Oven asked.

“Hm, but getting Kata on board isn’t going to be easy either.” Porche said, holding her fist in front of her mouth as she thought.

“Hey you—-! I’ll set that aside for now.” He said as he mimed out pushing an object aside, “Anyway, what are you talking about; it’ll be a cinch. As long as you’re the one pitching it to him.”

“Absolutely not! Do you understand what kind of message that sends to him?”

“That you love him and want to stay with him forever?” Oven asked.

“What part of ‘I met this man yesterday and I am not responsible for his happiness’ is not connecting for you?”

“Would you actually hate that though? You did say that you click with him.” Capote said, smugly.

“I told you that in confidence.” Porche said.

“That’s not a no.” Capote said.

“Asking a man you had casual sex with to convince his sister to gaslight their mom into believing her daughter has been married for at least a year to a total stranger is a bit of a leap.” Porche said she was getting mad that Capote would take the kitchen appliance’s side. 

“He bit you, that’s definitely not casual for him.” Oven said and Capote shot her a look that was so judgmental.

“Girl wait, holy fuck! That’s what that huge bruise on your neck is. Does he have dinosaur teeth?!”

“It’s not huge! And don’t worry about it. Look, no one has a dick so good that I consider something like this after one night. I cannot believe I have to say that.”

“Alright jeez, I just think you aren’t gonna do all that much better than Kat.” Oven said looking extremely uncomfortable.

“Capote, you and your boyfriend can think whatever you want. Enjoy tuna noodling his casserole or whatever, I’m fucking done talking about this. Preferably forever.” Porche ranted and shoved past Oven out of the tent. She let the tent flap fall closed before opening it again, “Please don’t actually fuck around in here. Take it easy, both of you. Oh my god.” She said before storming away to calm down from that mortifying moment.

Chapter Text

Brûlée felt ridiculous. This stupid mask was one of the last things in the world she’d ever want to be seen wearing. It should not have made her heart flutter to see how happy it made Foxy. They were making their way to the same Groggy Ring field from yesterday. There was a significant amount of normal citizens milling about the tacky booths. It was quite nice seeing so many happy faces compared to what had been happening not even a couple of weeks ago.

Even if he was doomed to fail in dragging anyone away from Mama’s territory, he did bring a fun distraction and what most people would call kindness. Sure it was a selfish kindness, but there really isn’t much of the unselfish kind in her family to begin with. Brûlée felt his grip tighten on her hand and she realized he’d been holding it since her fruitless double cross. She vaguely wondered if it was out of insecurity or just because he wanted to.

“Ring’s this way, Brûlée.” His voice wasn’t stern or angry, he was simply trying to keep her focused. His smile seemed melancholic, and she could imagine why.

“Oh, of course. Are you really not angry with me?”

“No, no, I would have done the same thing if I were you. Well…”

“It’s about the quickie, isn’t it?”

“Not so loud, and yes…even though it wasn’t quick at all.” He said, his voice hushed. Like he feared retaliation from some unseen force, “Was that part of your plan?”

“Well, uh, there wasn’t so much a plan as there was an opportunity.”

“For the double cross or for sex?”

“Two separate opportunities. Really good opportunities.” She said and quickly shook off the dirty thoughts creeping into her mind. She needed to concentrate on if she wanted her petty revenge on Katakuri. Perhaps she had deserved a little teasing but that didn’t mean it had to come from him.

“Ah but of course! I’m so naturally irresistible after all.” Foxy said, hand behind his head and preening from his own boasting.

“Ooo you got me.” She said nuzzling the back of his neck through his oversized collar, “You really need to get this thing dry cleaned.” Foxy went white and Brûlée chuckled to herself, “It smells like a grandma’s house.”

“Feheh, better than the alternative. And to think I felt a tad guilty when you started dousing it in your perfume. You obviously didn’t pick it out yourself.”

“Birthday present from a few years back, thank you Tablet.”

“I wouldn’t thank them, my eyes are starting to water.” He said coughing a little.

“What can I say? I panicked.” She said.

“Well, at least I’ll have something to remember you by.” Foxy said it so casually and Brûlée had almost mistaken it for a thought in her own head. She was almost scared to call attention to it, because she’d surely misheard him.

“Yes, that’s certainly true.” She said cautiously. He glanced up at her and gave a half smile.

“It’s best not to linger on it. We still have two more games, after all.” He said and Brûlée really had to consider that this man might actually have some sort of self awareness. Not a lot but more than zero, which felt immense by comparison. Foxy wasn’t just an irritating little man that adored her to pieces. He’d had a pirating career for some number of years without being dealt with like many other rookies.

Hell, he wasn’t even all that phased by the Grandline and its various oddities. They passed by minks, merfolk, fishman, and many other non-humans that sought sanctuary in Totto Land; he never gawked at any of them. He stopped his leisurely gait as he pointed at one of his crew’s many many booths. Brûlée grimaced as she rescinded her internal praise of him.

This particular stand was run by a young woman in the typical mask and such. She seemed to be selling fake flowers (unless they had a greenhouse stowed away on that ship of theirs somehow), and various little plush animals; the majority of which were foxes of course. It took Brûlée a moment to realize he was pointing to a very specific couple in front of the booth. A snake-neck woman with hair the texture and length of a willow tree was leaning down to look lovingly at a fox mink gentleman. He was offering her a single massive purple flower to the lanky woman and she gingerly accepted it; nestling it behind her ear. Brûlée turned her attention back to Foxy, and he was grinning ear to ear.

“Yes, we have all kinds of people here.” She said, pretending it wasn’t cute to see such a similar couple.

“Should we say hello to our doppelgängers?” He asked with his smug grin still plastered on his face.

“No, what a ridiculous thing to suggest. They don’t look anything like us.” She said, although in truth it was because the last time she’d seen the fox mink he’d been electrocuted with everyone else in her house by that damn bunny girl. She wanted to avoid a weird interaction, especially since she turned down his advances a few times. She’d earnestly thought he was making jokes at her expense, maybe she had been selling herself a tad short. That or she had a specific magnetism for foxes. Both were equally plausible in her eyes.

“If you say so.” He said, kissing her knuckles as they resumed their walk. Brûlée watched the fox mink fumble around with a small box in his pocket when the snake neck woman turned to gaze out above the crowd. The box popped open and the ring in it was almost lost in the grass. Brûlée rolled her eyes as he just so happened to end up on one knee and holding the ring up to the woman at the exact moment she turned back to him. She turned away as she heard the gasp from her and the ‘aws’ from the small crowd around them.

Foxy didn’t even glance back despite the commotion. For a moment Brûlée considered doing something stupid and rash, ultimately she decided against it out of fear. Her family’s teasing she could live with, and Mama probably wouldn’t even remember she’d never actually been married. All her previous engagements had never made it off the altar. 

No, Brûlée was afraid he’d say no.

That’s the only answer she deserved from him, that would be an easy way for him to get back at her. Foxy was only going to put up with so much. She craned her neck back to look for that couple, but they were lost in the sea of people. It shouldn’t have saddened her the way it did. Brûlée brought her arms around his shoulders. He stopped and looked up at her, his smile was gentle, warm. She placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Hey, I’m going to have to wipe that off.” Their was no bite to his words. She placed another kiss on his cheek. “Okay, knock it off.” Foxy was finally getting irritated. Brûlée pulled his collar down and planted a kiss squarely on the back of his neck. He jumped forward out her light hold, “Hey! What was that for?”

She just smiled and didn’t answer him. Despite pulling away he still held her hand. Brûlée wished she’d seen the outcome of that proposal. It might have given her courage.

They finally reached the Groggy Ring, Pickles and Hamburg were already there waiting for them. Foxy finally released her hand and Hamburg handed her that ugly ball hat from yesterday. She sighed as she took it and wordlessly placed it on her head, buckling the strap underneath her chin.

“No protest?” Foxy asked, eyebrow cocked.

“Why would I? It’s the logical choice. If my family knows what’s good for them they will not suplex me into that ring or I will do everything in my power to make their life miserable. Well, more miserable, wiwiwi.”

“You really are a woman after my own heart.” He said.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” She said and watched him baulk at her. As amusing as toying with him was, she had business to discuss with him before the match started, “On that note, I do still have a couple tricks up my sleeve. I think a demonstration is necessary.” Brûlée said and formed a mirror in her hands. She angled it towards Foxy and he watched a bright light travel across the surface. Brûlée then turned the mirror towards herself and the same flash appeared, afterwards she was standing at eye level with him for the first time.

“In-incredible!” They stammered in unison. He held up his hand and she copied the action exactly. His eyes were sparkling as he started doing various poses, flexing his arms and strutting around like a complete doofus. Unfortunately she was stuck copying his stupid movements but drew the line at him blowing himself a kiss, that was a bridge too far for her.

“Enough!” She yelled, dispelling the reflection from her face and effectively ending this demonstration, “Now, I believe this will have some useful applications in our match.”

“As a master of disguise myself, I must say even I can’t pull off an exact likeness.” He stroked his chin in thought and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s not really exact.” Brûlée pulled down the coat over the right arm of her still mirrored appendage and exposed the tattoo there. And of course bless his stupid heart, Foxy pulled down his left sleeve to make sure his tattoo was in fact still where it was supposed to be. “Yes, it’s mirrored. See? Even the text is backwards.” She smiled at him as she fully dispelled the reflection and returned to her preferred vantage point of him.

“I suppose that’s the closest I’ll get to seeing my name actually tattooed on you.” He mused.

“Yes you’ll just have to settle for ‘Yoxf’, now please focus.” Brûlée clapped her hands and he folded his arms. When she was satisfied that she actually had his full attention she continued, “Call your goons over here, I want to hammer out a few details with them too.” She said and all he had to do was whistle and they came over to them. Brûlée imagined her family would find it decently suspicious that they were openly scheming but there wasn’t much she could do about it. They did pause in their plotting when Porche approached them.

“Well, are we about ready to start?” She asked the group.

“As soon as the final combatant shows up for their team.” Foxy said pointing to Diesel and Brownie who had been standing at the ready but quickly transitioned to sitting in the grass, bored out of their minds.

“Boss, don’t we usually put a time limit for the other team to get it together?” Porche asked.

“Feh, I’m making an exception.” Porche looked confused and Brûlée hadn’t bothered listening to who had been selected in the first place, so they were basically in the same boat, “Ah, there he is now.” Foxy pointed to Oven who was carrying Capote pressed against his chest in a single arm. The two of them were completely unbothered by anything but Porche looked like she wanted to crawl in a hole.

“ He ’s in this round. Who the fuc—?” Porche started and Katakuri appeared out of thin air to interject.

“Me. Obviously.”

“Because he did such a good job the first time.” Porche said sarcastically.

“Technically speaking, yes. He actually did.” Kata replied without a hint of irony, “I was surprised you didn’t protest during the announcement at the beginning.”

“I was thinking about other stuff! Whatever, pretend I’m not here.” Porche said but was walled off from her escape route by Oven’s massive body.

“Hey, sorry about the wait. We uh…ah hell. Let’s just get this over with.” Oven said and everyone made a mental note not to ask.

“You need to pick a ball man.” Brûlée said and Hamburg presented Oven with another ball hat. Diesel and Brownie both made ‘X’ symbols with their hands. You could practically see the gears turning in Oven’s head as he finally spoke.

“There’s no way in hell that I am putting that thing on my head.”

“Why? I’ve been a ball man before. It’s fun.” Capote said and Oven shifted his grip on him in one of his massive arms. Porche tried fruitlessly to scoot by them but eventually gave up and slumped onto a nearby bench.

“It’ll wreck my hair.” Oven said and Brûlée was sure the collective whole of them were all thinking exactly the same thing. She was surprised that Capote was the one who actually said it.

“I think it’s a little late to be worried about that.”

“You said you liked my hair.” Oven actually sounded upset.

“No no I do like it, it’s—actually now that you mention it, can you even wear the ball? How solid is your hair?”

“Pretty solid but flattens out when it gets wet enough. Hey Brownie, you sure you don’t want to help your favorite big brother out here?”

“Very sure. I don’t wanna be the one getting dunked like a basketball. Besides, it would take all three of them to get you in the goal hoop. So it’s like a strat or some shit.” He said and Diesel nodded enthusiastically. Oven frowned and Brûlée was getting very tired of this. She set aside her pride to move things along. Why couldn’t he? Oven always did drag his feet when it wasn’t a direct order from Mama.

“Come on, big guy. Let’s get you wet and ready!” Capote said and everyone else grimaced at the horrendous word choice. Which of course neither Oven or Capote noticed at all as Oven took the ball hat and they walked off.

“Can you believe we’re the ones that get all the flack?” Foxy mused and Brûlée concurred.

“I know, what have we done to—”

“You know exactly what.” Porche and Katakuri said in unison.

“Tardiness is not a crime.” Brûlée said avoiding eye contact with them. Thankfully Oven soon came back with his hair down and the ball situated on top of his head. Brûlée had been told that he was somewhat attractive with his hair down. She wouldn’t know if he was or not, mostly because of the whole being related thing. She would concede that the longer hair framed his face better. Not that he’d take anyone’s advice about his appearance at this point.

“We ready?” Oven asked.

“Brother, put Capote down.” Katakuri said, pinching his brow.

“Oh oops.”

“Bring him over here, and be gentle with him.” Porche patted the bench she’d resigned herself to.

“Hey! Just because I’m large doesn’t mean I can’t also be gentle.”

“Does he hear the words that come out of his mouth?” Foxy asked as everyone else just stood in uncomfortable silence.

“Sometimes, but not often.” Brûlée answered.

Itomimizu finally introduced the teams, Hamburg, Pickles and Brûlée for the Foxy Pirates; and for the Big Mom Pirates, Oven, Diesel, and Brownie. They took their positions. Capote, Porche and Katakuri watched them from the bench. Foxy stood a couple feet away from the seated trio with his arms crossed, his usual smirk on his face. The match started and Oven immediately rushed towards her, naturally she summoned a mirror and Foxy fired a beam aiming for it. It bounced directly into Oven and Foxy was grabbed by the scruff of his coat.

“This is outside interference.” Katakuri said, his tone threatening. Brûlée couldn’t be concerned with it, she had to act quickly. She mirrored Hamburg and Pickles images onto Brownie and Diesel. The two quickly produced their concealed weapons and started wailing on Oven, which in turn meant the doubles also started wailing on him. After the 30 seconds were up Oven was launched directly into the air. Brûlée drew her scythe and dashed over to one of the pairs of thugs.

 “Boost, give me a boost! Quick, quick, quick!” She screeched as all four of them tossed her skyward. Oven had stopped rising and was now falling, she had one chance to try hitting him into the goal. She raised the blunt end of her scythe and struck Oven in the chest. He flew closer to the goal but Brûlée quickly realized she was still soaring upwards and panic was starting to set in. She could see the entire region that Foxy’s crew had rebuilt along with all his booths, the stage and the rebuilt Chateau. She was soaring above all of it and she wanted to scream but it was caught in her throat. Perhaps she’d miscalculated just how far they’d be able to toss her.

Just as she felt her assent transition to a rapid descent she was engulfed in a now familiar pink light. As she sat frozen in midair her fear evaporated and she felt relief wash over her. As Brûlée waited for gravity to take her again she stared out at all the structures again. It finally hit her, the sheer scale and magnitude of Foxy’s dedication to her. It was tangible, every structure that stood before her eyes had been built or rebuilt for her. At her request or to win her in his stupid pirate game. She was his first and only pick from her crew, he really should have selected Katakuri too. If they’d really won, he could.

Then Brûlée would stay a part of his crew and that thought didn’t sound so terrible, especially if the rest of her family joined just to follow Kata. Mama would be upset but she found herself unable to fear her inevitable wrath. Foxy could probably placate Mama better than even some of her siblings could. Did she really want him to meet her mother? Was she insane? Brûlée barely noticed she was falling again as she landed in a large set of palms. She stowed her scythe into a mirror and looked up at the wotan holding her. He gingerly set her on solid ground again.

“Thank you” She signed to the half giant.

“You’re welcome.” He signed in return. Brûlée turned her attention to finding Foxy and Katakuri. As she spotted them she caught sight of Oven tossing the ball hat away in a huff. A smile crept across her face as she ran to them. They’d won! Her face fell when she got close enough to hear them speak.

“I hope you know what you’ve chosen.” Katakuri said, “Don’t bother with your rigged cannon, it doesn’t matter where we fight. The outcome will be the same.”

“Do you already have a corner man picked?” Foxy asked.

“Porche, I request you to be in my corner.” Katakuri said.

“Is that allowed Boss?” Porche asked, she was in disbelief.

“Sure, why not?” Foxy said, he sounded resigned. His cocky attitude was giving way to that earlier melancholic demeanor she’d glimpsed.

“What’s going on? We won, so—” Brûlée started.

“I selected Big Pan. It’s not very sporting to pull the same trick twice.” He said and she understood the unspoken implication that had he tried Katakuri would have simply abandoned the pretense of the game altogether. She removed the ball hat and tossed it aside. She knelt down to his level and she caught Katakuri pause his stride. One sentence and this would all stop, Foxy would surely choose her over certain death. Her lips parted but she hesitated. Brûlée wanted just a little more time to sort out her thoughts, and while he was all but guaranteed to accept an alliance; actually saying it was harder than she thought.

“You moron!” She shouted and winced as she watched Foxy drop to all fours. Kata resumed walking with Porche trailing behind him hesitantly. Brûlée knew it was the wrong choice but nothing felt like the right choice either.

“I know.” Foxy got up. He reached into his coat and pulled a hand mirror out of it, “No matter what happens, I don’t want you to interfere. So I’m giving this to you.”

“Foxy, I—” She tried to get the words out but he placed a finger to her lips.

“Please, don’t argue. This is for the best.” He said, the finality of his words was accompanied by him leaving her side to go prepare for whatever the combat round actually entailed. Brûlée clutched the mirror to her chest. Foxy didn’t deserve her, and as she sat sullenly in the grass she realized for the first time that he himself knew that. He was willing to let her go, since it’s what she’d told him she wanted this whole time. Her heart was breaking as she finally understood two terrible truths.

One, this undeserving cretin had managed to make her fall in love with him.

Two, it was too late for that to matter.

Chapter Text

Katakuri was used to getting rid of people like Foxy. Sometimes that meant making deals and sometimes that meant getting his hands dirty. But this was very different to the usual circumstances. To say he didn’t care for Foxy was an extreme understatement. He was even less impressed with his very active pursuit of his sister, Brûlée. As her brother it made him furious, but he wasn’t selfish enough to be able to ignore how it was after all a two way street. If anything Brûlée seemed more invested in encouraging Foxy’s advances than she’d ever purposely admit.

Sitting in this bizarre costume closet with Porche did little to ease his frustration. Brûlée was usually very forthcoming with her thoughts and opinions, much to her detriment. She’d only rarely been able to hold her tongue and even then her true thoughts would make themselves known eventually. At the beginning of all this they could have tossed Foxy into the ocean without a second thought and washed their hands of this whole situation. Brûlée’s hesitation now put him at a very bad crossroads. Obliterate the idiot who’d done nothing but be actively helpful at best and just wasted their time at worst; or actively try to throw the match which would bruise his ego and make him a laughing stock in his own family’s eyes.

“I don’t know what Boss was thinking. Fighting you isn’t going to end well for anybody.” Porche finally spoke.

“Don’t you have faith in your captain?” Katakuri asked.

“Of course I do, but he’s been kinda off all day. I’m sure you noticed too.” Porche gripped the lid of the trunk she was sitting on top of. While Katakuri didn’t know the man very well, his demeanor was much more reserved compared to what he’d become familiar with.

“Perhaps he was finally able to comprehend what commitment to a member of the Charlotte family actually means. I don’t blame him for trying to—-”

“Don’t you dare! Boss isn’t a coward! If you so much as think it again, I’ll never speak to you again!” Porche snapped at him, it was in no way playful.

“Then pray tell, what is his reasoning?”

“…I don’t know. Boss has been avoiding me and Hamburg all day, yeah we see him, but…”

“Never alone.”

“Right. Nothing against your sister, but I was right to not confer with Boss around her. What with the backstabbing and all.”

“It's entirely reasonable to have reservations about a new ally. It comes with the territory.” Katakuri said inspecting a very dusty top shelf. 

“Then, why do you seem to trust me so much?” Porche asked.

“Trust? Hardly.”

“You are such a bad liar. I’m literally only sitting in here because you trust me enough to get you out of the corner those two painted you into.”

“!!!!” Katakuri said nothing but he once again appreciated Porche’s ability of perception.

“Boss has a knack for entrapping people in the ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situations, but this is a bit different.” She mused thrumming her fingers on the trunk.

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Well, if I know Boss, he’s got something cooked up. Did you see him give Brûlée that hand mirror?”

“Yes, I thought it was odd.”

“It’s usually a surprise tool he keeps for later. Mirrors are the only thing we’ve found that can deflect his beams.”

“I see, so him relinquishing the mirror is inherently suspect.” Katakuri was also partially happy to finally have that explained to him. The man had started shooting beams around with no explanation and it put him on edge as he tried to roughly piece together rules about it.

“Exactly! I just don’t know why yet…” She said deflating a bit since there was no conclusion for them to draw.

“Hm, perhaps he’s surmised that she could track him with that mirror on his person.”

“OH! That means he’ll lead you below deck.” Her mood picked up as she spoke.

“That still counts as—? Why am I asking, there’s no meaningful rules in this game. Is that what the rooms full of spike are for?”

“Find that while you were lost, did you?”

“I was exploring , I do not get lost.”

“Whatever, but yeah. But he’s seen your fruit in action, he’d know something like that would be a waste of time.”

“Is there anywhere he’d lure me without any reflective surfaces? Maybe even a room with a broken mirror in it?” Katakuri asked, knowing this conversation lead towards his own interests.

“I really shouldn’t tell you this but…the room he primarily fought Strawhat in. There was a massive mirror in it.”

“…I see.”

“Hamburg and I were going to clean it and have the mirror replaced, but Boss told us not to bother. It’s been like that for the past two years.”

“How did Luffy win the fight?” Katakuri asked and Porche smiled a distant, sad sort of expression.

“He kept a piece of the mirror after it shattered.” She started and Katakuri finished.

“And beat him at his own game.”

“Boss’ record was 922 to 0, he was unbeatable in our crew’s eyes. After Luffy made it 922 to 1, it all fell apart. Most of our crew came back but it took a lot groveling and promises to keep us together. He hasn’t really been the same since that fight, he still tries to act like he's the same ol’ Boss but…”

“When you’re on a high pedestal you have a long way to fall.” Katakuri said and Porche remained silent, “Can you obtain a piece of that mirror?”

“If you think I’d help you—! No, you wouldn’t do that. So, what for?”

“I want you to hold on to it. I think I’m getting a grasp on what his plan might be.”

“Weaponizing you fanboying over Strawhat?”

“I do not fanboy , I am a grown man.”

“Mmhm, Okay. In exchange, I want you to promise me you won’t hurt Boss too badly.”

“Define ‘too badly’.”

“Ugh, you already know. So, I’m not going to bother repeating myself. Oh shit, I have to find gloves in your size.” She hopped off the trunk she was sitting on and frantically started rifling through its contents.

“So, you can tease me but I can’t do it back to you?”

“Yeah, you have 84 siblings don’t you know that’s how all teasing works?”

“I’m familiar. ‘No backsies’ or something, as I previously stated I am a grown man and do not adhere to such things.”

“I can’t believe those two thought I could pitch a grift to somebody so uptight.” Porche mumbled as she pulled a pair of green gloves out of the trunk, “Way too small.” She said at a volume she actually intended for him to hear.

“Pitch a grift? Who’d be—actually I can already answer that.”

“It’s nothing! When I was checking in on Capote, Oven barged in and started yammering about a bunch of stuff. Y’know how he is.” Porche rambled, twirling her hair around her finger nervously.

“Elaborate.”

“I mean, I’m sure you already know right, Mr. Future Sight. Hehehe…”

“You want me to pitch an alliance deal to my sister that also involves lying to my mother for an extended period of time.” Katakuri said, thoroughly impressed with the idea.

“Yep, that sums it up nicely.”

“I was under the impression that she’d already rejected the idea and she’s had ample time to offer it to Foxy on her own terms.”

“Yeah, but if she actually likes him she might be hesitant. She might have had a lot of bad experiences or didn’t really like previous people enough to care if they got hurt. It’s a big deal to do things right with someone you actually care about.” Porche said with her back turned to him as she continued looking for a better fitting set of boxing gloves.

“And there’s the chance of rejection. Mama could always force compliance, but that threat is empty currently.” Katakuri said.

“I suppose she’d get an honest answer at least, if there’s really no fear of retaliation.”

“I suppose so.” Katakuri said and there was a long uncomfortable silence. Porche finally turned around and started preparing his hands to be placed in a pair of pink gloves that seemed large enough.

“…You know why it’s a no, right?”

“A no from Brûlée, or?”

“Don’t play dumb, we haven’t been talking about just them and you know it.”

“Fine, but you could at least allow me to ask you before you say no.”

“Hm, you rarely offer me such a courtesy. Why should I offer it to you?”

“That’s reasonable. And I do understand, you are not comfortable with the idea of being trapped away from your crew.” Katakuri said.

“Right, where they go I go.” Porche said.

“Your loyalty is admirable, in spite of who it’s wasted on.”

“If you knew him like I do, you wouldn’t say such a thing.” She spoke in a way that betrayed a pain he hadn’t expected. He decided to shift gears.

“Fair enough. But I hope you realize I can’t promise that I can change her mind.”

“I know. But honestly, I don’t know which outcome is better. Either way they’re both going to be insufferable for the next few months.” Porche said her normal voice returned as she finally slipped the gloves over his well wrapped hands. Katakuri felt himself struggling to contain his mirth as she was entirely correct.

“I would hope the one where we are together would have preference in your mind.” He said as she tied the laces on the first glove. She paused and curled her lips into her mouth before exhaling a nervous laugh, “Together as in around each other. I didn’t necessarily…”

“I know. I’m just more surprised you were really considering asking me that .” She was smiling as she spoke.

“Well, I consider our relationship extremely intimate. In order to pursue you, engagement is the next step otherwise I’d going against how my family operates.” Katakuri said.

“How romantic.” She said sarcastically, “And I’m sure we’d love each other forever and ever or some crap like that.”

“Hm, that’s not very common in my family. If we get tired of each other there is always divorce.”

“Ha! Your siblings just have normal divorces?”

“Yes, generally we only kill the ex-partners that cause problems. If they simply wish to stay out of our affairs we have no qualms with them.”

“So, is the whole business with your mouth not counted as a qualm?”

“Even if you dramatically exposed my mouth to the world, it would just be a self report about how much of a freak you are. Besides, Flampe has it out to expose that particular family secret anyway.”

“Oh, that’s mean. Wait, she’s the one Oven talked about. How old is she now?”

“15.”

“Oh so that wound is fresh, yikes.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“You could just preempt her, then she couldn’t hold it over you.”

“I’m waiting for a good moment. She was only recently made aware of my…disfigurement and didn’t take the knowledge well, it irritated me greatly.”

“That’s being a teenager for you. Well, if you did show them off more you’d find a lot more people appreciate them like I do.”

“While I’m sure that’s true, I have no desire to have a gaggle of freaks. One is enough.”

“Call me a freak all you want, but I’m not even in the top 20 of the kinky freaks that I know.”

“Are you sure? I think most people would be at least a little wary of cunnilingus with someone who has teeth like mine.”

“Hey, you offered. Why the hell would I say no?”

“Because I have dinosaur teeth, Porche.” He said and she finished tightening the laces on the second glove.

“You eavesdropper!” She said, physically pointing at him.

“Ah, wrong word choice.”

“Oooo, I should have known.”

“You really should have.”

“I’d punish you good if we didn’t need to hurry up.”

“Punish or punish ?”

“Oh, but I’m the freak? No, I meant punish as in make you wear something stupid to fight Boss. Like a wig perhaps?” She picked up an afro wig from one of the many mannequin heads in the room, “Luffy wore one just like this, you know.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m fine with my scarf.”

“You can’t wear something that bulky over your face like that. Ooo, how about a veil~🩷”

“That’s sheer, it covers nothing. There’s a more appropriate neck covering on that shelf.” He pointed a black face mask that would cover his nose to the bottom of his neck. It secured around his ears and was much slimmer than his scarf. Porche rolled her eyes but helped him put it on. She then helped him remove his jacket.

“Boo, such a lame choice. Well, I have to go grab that shard and remember if you hurt Boss too bad I’ll never ever forgive you, okay love you bye~🩷” Porche said as she stood on tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek before skipping away with his scarf and jacket in hand leaving him to his thoughts. He barely processed that she’d snuck in a ‘love you’ and it frazzled him a bit more than he’d like to admit.

After a few minutes tried to meditate on what exactly his strategy was but his eyes shot open as he realized she had in fact doled out a proper punishment. She had left him below decks on the stupid boat again and he had to find his own way out.

Chapter Text

Foxy was a bit confused when he watched Porche emerge with Katakuri’s stuff but without the man himself. She sauntered over to the bleachers and gave him a wave which he returned. He would have thought something was up but Porche wasn’t giving off any of her usual tells. After about 15 minutes Katakuri finally emerged from below decks. It didn’t bode well that Katakuri was more focused on glaring at Porche than at him.

Foxy rolled his shoulders as he sized up his much larger opponent. They certainly were far from evenly matched, forget being twice the man he was, Katakuri was thrice. Three times his height, triple the speed, and certainly far stronger than he was. Hell, even his tattoo took up triple the space on his body compared to his own. He glanced over at Porche again and finally noticed that Brûlée was sitting next to her. Foxy averted his gaze, he didn’t want to see the enjoyment she’d get out of this. Well, if he played his cards right she’d surely be disappointed.

Itomimizu was introducing them and Foxy winced at his now terrible record. It was so bad, Ito didn’t even mention the loss portion. 923 wins to…enough losses. His crew cheered like usual and died down as Katakuri got his own intro. Foxy tried to tune it out lest he psyche himself out, but one part caught his attention.

“He boasted an impressive reputation of being undefeated, to the point where his back was said to have never touched the ground. However, this streak was recently broken by Strawhat Luffy.” Itomimizu’s voice boomed out from the speaker system. Foxy watched Katakuri’s eyes flicker with an emotion that he couldn’t quite grasp. He felt a pang of kinship with the man but he was certain Katakuri would not appreciate the comparison. Foxy readied himself as Itomimizu started going into a little too much gorey detail about what constituted a ring out. Katakuri raised his fists and the bell sounded. Foxy dropped his fists and immediately tossed out a smoke bomb.

“Seriously? You can’t expect to get a surprise attack on me with a little smoke?” Katakuri said and then looked around frantically, “Wait, where—not even attempting to throw a punch first? I really don’t want to go back down there.” Foxy waited until he was sure Katakuri was following him. He wasn’t sure if he was actually out running him or if he was being allowed to lead him where he wanted. If he had to guess, it was more likely to be the latter. After a sharp right turn, they’d arrived. Foxy flicked a switch on the far wall and the lights flicked on.“You’re wasting your time trying to outrun me.” Katakuri said, he did sound a tad winded.

“Do I look stupid? Don’t answer that!” Foxy yelled quickly, catching his mistake.

“Then what? You can’t forfeit down here.”

“I don’t intend to. I’ll fight you to whatever bitter end for me that is. I simply wanted to speak to you. Man to man.” Foxy paused, “Loser to loser.” He had been expecting anger at such a statement, but Katakuri allowed him to continue. “Look around you. This is where Strawhat and I fought two years ago.” Foxy stared into the utterly destroyed mirror, its dusty pieces not worth picking up. “That kid destroyed my pride, way of life, and of course my crew’s faith in me.” Foxy said bitterly. 

“Yet, you persist. You keep up that irritating false bravado. Would it not be easier to simply quit piracy?”

“Feh, you don’t just quit being a pirate. What a stupid question, from you of all people. Even if I did, there’s nothing for me to go back to.”

“Nothing?”

“I burned a lot of bridges after my boxing license was revoked. But that’s neither here nor there. I understand I am in no position to ask favors or anything like that, but I’m going to anyway.”

“Out with it then.” Katakuri said and Foxy raised an eyebrow. The man had future sight, did he just wish to make him say it out loud anyway?

“I was a lousy boxer but I’d like to think I’ve been an alright captain. Please don’t make my crew suffer after this is over. Coming here was my idea, don’t hold it against them.”

“Despite your attempts at stealing my sister away, your crew has actually been quite kind to us. There is no need for you to be concerned about your crew’s safety.” Katakuri said and Foxy smiled out of genuine relief. While Katakuri’s reputation painted him as ruthless, Foxy couldn’t help but trust the words of the gentle giant he had observed befriending Porche these past two days.

“Thank you. My crew is everything to me.” He paused and chuckled weakly, “I suppose that would include Brûlée as well. She’s one of a kind, isn’t she?”

“She certainly is and she has a bit of a bad habit of bestowing her affection on unworthy things.” Foxy would normally have been offended, but it didn’t feel targeted towards him specifically.

“Feh, is that how you see it? I suppose so. After all, despite everything I’m here about to get my teeth kicked in. So, she can’t have liked me that much.”

“You could’ve just asked her for an alliance instead of doing all these stupid games.” Katakuri said and Foxy fell dejected to the ground.

“Why would you say something so hurtful and true?” He said before popping back up to yell at him, “Are you crazy? A woman like her could have anyone in the whole wide world! While I am pretty great, I can’t imagine her settling for a guy like me.” Foxy said and he swore he heard “aws” like there was an audience hidden away somewhere. He almost thought he was hallucinating until he glanced at a mirror shard that had landed upright in the pile. Unmistakably, he saw Brûlée, Porche, Hamburg, and a bunch of tiny blobs that he presumed to be everyone else in the stands in the reflection. They were all huddled around presumably a piece of this same mirror. He turned his attention back to Katakuri.

“Unfortunately, there’s a nonzero chance that she would. Despite your…eccentricities.” Katakuri began, “If you truly care about her, I want you to prove it. I want to see the undefeated man of two years ago. Do everything in your power to get to the future you want, not the one you believe is inevitable.”

“Even if it’s a future I know for a fact you’d dislike?”

“That’s why it would be a fight. After all, everyone has a right to change the future.” Katakuri said and Foxy laughed. They were words that couldn’t have possibly originated from a man like Katakuri. They didn’t sound like something from Luffy either, perhaps the kid was not the only person to leave a lasting impression on him. Foxy didn’t believe for a second he could win this fight, but he was now determined to try.

“Feh feh feh! Then let’s start over back on the deck!” Foxy made sure his voice was loud and clear as he caught the crowd scrambling to spread out from where they were all huddled. As the two exited the room and headed back the way they came, it was a comparatively leisurely trek. They didn’t speak for much of it but Foxy’s curiosity got the better of him.

“What is under there anyway? I get that it’s nothing pretty if Porche’s neck is anything to go by.” He asked and Katakuri rolled his eyes.

“ That’s your question?”

“Yes? I don’t need to ask about your conspiring with Porche. Very sneaky to use the broken pieces, I’ll have to keep that in mind next time I want total privacy in the future.” He said folding his arms.

“How?”

“Oh please, you already know the answer. Now will you show me or not?”

“Fine.” Katakuri said and Foxy’s jaw dropped as he actually revealed his mouth to him.

“Ooo, the scars are cool. Hm, I was expecting your jaw to be a bit more square. You’ve almost got a baby face situation going on.”

“…That’s a new description. It’s very flawed but new certainly.”

“Well, you’re older than Brûlée, right? So you’re what, mid-40’s to about 50? Teeth aside, you have a round face and big expressive eyes. Especially when you aren’t scrunching up your brows.” Foxy waved his hand around to punctuate his point, forgetting Katakuri couldn’t see his fingers through the boxing glove.

“I don’t like this conversation. Why are you not concerned?”

“As long as you don’t make a habit of using Porche as a chew toy, it’s really none of my business.”

“It— she said no one would notice.”

“Well, we did. All she had to do was put a little makeup over it, that’s what Brûlée did…” Foxy trailed off and started full speed sprinting as Katakuri punched directly through a wall. As he reached the surface he shot a beam behind himself and watched Katakuri bend his body around it as a punch connected squarely to his face. Foxy was nearly sent careening over the side of the ship. Katakuri’s face was still exposed and the uproar it caused made the massive man panic just long enough for Foxy to succeed in beaming him.

Foxy quickly started rushing him down with a barrage of punches and by the time the thirty seconds were up he was sure he’d hit him enough to push him off the edge of the Sexy Foxy. Katakuri was knocked back a decent amount but his arms simply became mochi as he returned every punch he took double fold. Foxy was knocked to his knees, blood was dripping onto the deck of the ship. He let out a shaking breath as he looked up at Katakuri. His mangled lips were twisted in disgust while there were some scuffs and scratches, he was fairing far better than Foxy was.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay down.” Katakuri said and Foxy attempted to sweep his ankles. This only earned Katakuri’s boot stomping his head into the bloody boards. After a moment he released his head. Foxy staggered to his feet and Katakuri tutted, “You’re just doing this to yourself at this point.” Katakuri said as Foxy managed to dodge his first strike but failed to avoid the uppercut that hit him squarely in the gut. Foxy felt the hesitation as the punch connected with far less force than any hit previously. He offered a light jab of retaliation and Katakuri staggered back with just a touch too much flare.

They started to go back and forth exchanging blows, Katakuri seemed to be enjoying watching the speed and intensity of each blow increase as they went. Foxy was able to dodge one or two hits but even with Katakuri assisting him in this performance, he knew it was only a matter of time before he collapsed. Katakuri went in for a blow to his jaw and Foxy did the same, they both connected within seconds of each other. His fingers repositioned in the gloves as he prepared to fire another beam at point blank range at Katakuri. The disappointment hit him as Katakuri’s face fell. Foxy’s knee buckled a second later and he fell forward, the beam missing Katakuri entirely.

“Don’t hesitate, Brûlée will call you out on it.” Foxy whispered as he felt Katakuri’s fist connect with his gut. As he was launched directly upward, he considered if it was fate or coincidence that the fight ended this way. If he’d had the energy he might have laughed or maybe cried. He wasn’t sure which would have been more appropriate.

Chapter Text

And just like that it was over. Foxy sprawled flat on his back staring up at the clouds that swirled and peaked like soft dollops of whipped cream. He smirked in spite of himself. Despite trying his very hardest, this outcome was inevitable. He was battered and bloody but he somehow felt proud. His vision blurred as he slowly blinked and he considered sitting up to at least look at Brûlée one last time. Foxy felt his eyes drift closed, perhaps it was better that he didn’t see her. As he nearly allowed himself to drift into unconsciousness he felt a hand press against his chest. Wearily his eyes opened and he felt a genuine smile eek out from his lips.

“Can’t stay away, can you?” He asked.

“You look terrible.” Brûlée said, taking her hand off his chest to dig around in something beside her. It was likely a first aid kit and his suspicion was confirmed by the familiar smell of rubbing alcohol emanating from the cloth she placed on his head.

“You should see the other guy.” He said, laughing at his own joke, “What did you do with Porche and Hamburg?”

“Well, I wanted to speak with you alone and Kata was kind enough to volunteer as a distraction. Porche is helping in that endeavor.”

“What does that mean?”

“I‘ll put it this way, I never thought about how Kata would do certain things with his teeth being the way they are and now I have answers I could’ve lived without.” She said and Foxy considered how exactly those two would kiss. He couldn’t really picture it and he didn’t particularly want to anyway.

“Gross.” Foxy paused and winced as she dabbed the cloth over a particularly tender spot, “Clever, but gross.”

“It looked very weird and I have no idea where the other one went. Regardless, they’ll all be distracted for a while.”

“Hm, that’s Hamburg for you. Well, I suppose it’s only fair you get a little trauma from this since you helped broadcast a private man to man chat.”

“Ah, so you knew. What tipped you off?”

“Well, I knew something was up from the jump because he requested Porche in his corner. It only really clicked when he let me speak and for that matter, let me lead him through the ship. That and, well, the shard.” As he addressed the offending piece Brûlée produced if from beside her, “All your mirrors connect to other mirrors and you can travel through them, but you can also see and hear through them too. I guessed that shattered mirrors must have been able to still pick up sound since that’s the only important thing happening in that room.” Foxy said, and he watched Brûlée’s mouth open and shut a few times before she got words out.

“You really figured all that out by yourself? I’m impressed.”

“I could also see and hear you in a fairly large chunk, that helped too.” He said smirking as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I was giving you too much credit.”

“Eh, besides all that your brother was quite impassioned in speaking to an audience of one, especially since he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“He doesn’t like me either.”

“Well…fair enough. Regardless, there’s something I wanted to discuss with you.”

“What’s to discuss? My crew and I are leaving just as soon as they peel me off the deck.”

“I have a proposal.”

“Brûlée, I don’t think I can handle another Davy Back Fight and I certainly can’t handle another—-” He was cut off and he felt one of his gloves being removed.

“Stop talking, just listen. It’s not that kind of proposal.”

“Eh?”

“I want to form an alliance.” She said taking his degloved hand in hers. He blinked at her. Then he blinked again, and he blinked one final time before he sat up out of shock.

“You want a what?!”

“I know it’s sort of…a lot to ask but we’re not getting any younger.” She blushed and Foxy’s brows furrowed.

“Just to be clear, you heard the part where I said you could have literally anyone else right?”

“I did, and I’m confident in my choice.”

“Okay, I’m just double checking because I have taken a pretty extensive beating.”

“I’m asking you to marry me! It’s a yes or no question, you moron.” She said blushing horribly deep across her cheeks.

“—I-hold—o-n-” His words died in his throat as he felt the toll of the beating finally overtake him. He didn’t faint, as others might have described. Although he did come to cradled in Brûlée’s arms. The smelling salts she revived him with were not as pleasant, “Isn’t the prince supposed to kiss the sleeping princess awake, wait I mean you’re the princess not me, not that you couldn’t be the prince if you wanted…” He flummoxed and covered his face with his hand.

“Stupid.” She said, giving him a peck on the lips.

“It’s a yes by the way.” He said and stopped her before she could speak, “I’d have to be crazy to turn down a woman of your caliber.”

“You’d have to be even crazier to say yes.”

“Well, then I guess I am.”

“Oh, I should probably mention one itty bitty thing that might change your mind.” She said, pinching her fingers together. 

“Unlikely, go on.”

“Well, Kata passed along a scheme that I believe is in our best interests. We’d have to pretend we’ve been married for at least a couple of years, just for Mama so she doesn’t catch on that we got married without her approval.”

“Brûlée Charlotte, are you asking me to not only marry you but also to run a long con on your notorious former yonko mother?”

“I—”

“Woman of my dreams! The love of my life! I love you more than I thought possible!” He said and began his quest to kiss every inch of her exposed skin.

“Oh! Hey, knock it off! You’re bleeding!”

“Better take that white dress off then.” He said.

“Down boy! Down!” She lightly tapped his shoulder as a meek form of scolding. He didn’t stop as he staggered to his feet and attempted to scoop her up into his arms, “Ah! Cut it out! You’re going to slip a disk! Put me down, put me down!” She was giggling like a schoolgirl even though she was trying her very best to act panicked. Foxy got in a couple of twirls before she jumped out of his arms. He’d definitely feel the strain from that later but it was worth it to see her cracking an absolutely giddy smile at him. It was affectionate and in a way he felt he could only truly appreciate now. Before he had to remind himself that it was temporary, ephemeral, fleeting, but now it was forever. Or however long he lasted being around powerful, murderous pirates. He’d take it either way, he didn’t have much left to lose; this was a net gain for both of their crews anyway.

“Come to think of it, why didn’t you just ask me at the beginning?”

“You pompous—!”

“Needed a test run?”

“Don’t make me change my mind!”

“Hey, you’re the one that asked me. No take backsies!”

“Unbelievable.” She sighed and Foxy swore he heard laughter but they had both fallen silent.

“Brûlée.”

“Hm?”

“Did Porche grab just the one shard?”

“Yes but actually it broke in—!” Brûlée immediately blanched as she grabbed the shard at her feet and chucked it into the ocean, “When I get my hands on her!” She seethed.

“I'd rather you get your hands on me.” Foxy said as he fell back onto her lap, “Perhaps after you apply a bandage or two. I can feel the blood dripping down my eyelid.”

“Ooo, I think you might need stitches. Let’s get you to an infirmary.”

“But we can’t fool around there…” He tried not to sound disappointed but she just laughed at him as she carried him bridal style off of the ship. Foxy smiled as he rested his head against her neck. She placed a patch on his head to mitigate the bleeding and the mess that would make on her chest. He let his eyes drift closed as he heard the cacophony of teasing and cheering coming from their collective crews. Well, they were sort of one crew now. He’d figure it out later. After all, they had plenty of time now.