Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

April, 2014

10:30 A.M. 

Five-hundred-forty-seven days in waiting. Five-hundred-forty-seven days worth of build-up to this exact moment that Suzy Berhow and her husband, Arin Hanson, had now found themselves in. Five-hundred-forty-seven days since Suzy Berhow and Arin Hanson had started a process that would forever change the course of not only their own lives, but the lives of so many people around them and the life of someone they had yet to truly meet. 

This meeting was abnormal. The couple normally spent their Wednesday afternoons recording and editing videos for their online entertainment business, a much fancier verbiage for their career but one that sounded much better on the occupation section of the foster-care forums. Suzy, a raven-haired woman, clutched a small binder, taking in the surroundings of the office she and her husband had been in many times before. Despite the familiarity, it still made her heart race.

The place was small, with warm wine-colored walls boxing them in. To the right, a large wooden bookshelf, filled head-to-toe with books and files and otherwise typical clutter. In the direct center of the room was a large mahogany desk that covered a metal filing cabinet, and on the desk were multiple small photo frames, each with their own small layer of dust. A computer keyboard and monitor were also posted on the desk, and right beside them was a brass name-tag, Jessica Martinez . A rather stern woman, yet one who deeply cared about all the kids placed in her care. She was the social worker that Suzy and Arin had been assigned with, and so far, despite the frequent meetings, she was still very much intimidating. 

“So, I’ve reviewed your files…everything seems to be in order. I’ve toured your home, you fixed those smoke alarms since my last check in, correct..?” Martinez was a born-and-raised Californian, a dedicated woman to Los Angeles county. She wore a blue blouse and black slacks, her brown curls pinned tightly behind her ears. She raised a trimmed brow, biting the inside of her cheek as she glanced down at the stack of forms. 

Even the slight movements of her face made Suzy’s heart tremble within her chest, “Yes ma’am, we had them fixed the moment you left…! We’ve also prepared a guest room with some emergency supplies, and we’re planning on getting more once they arrive!” She couldn’t help but over explain herself, almost as if she was constantly on the defense. She was just desperate for this arrangement to work. It had been a long conversation, adopting a child that is. 

“Mhmm…” The hum was drawn out, only worrying Suzy. She glanced at her partner, Arin’s face a little pink and sweaty from all the tension. But she felt his hand squeeze hers as Martinez spoke up again, “You list a surprising amount of emergency contacts…who are all these people…?”

“I-I’ve known all of the individuals listed since I was a young man! They’re basically my family and-and th-they’re great people! A real benefit to the kiddo-!!” Arin gave a half-grimace-half-smile, which Suzy found endearing. Though, Martinez seemed unphased by the attempts at casualty. "Er, uh, child in potential question, I mean-heh!"

Arin was right, Suzy thought, they were practically like family, and they would be a benefit for a growing child. They were unique people, but creative and kind and caring and sensitive. Sure, they might have not been the most mature either, but they knew how to be adults when they truly had to be. Martinez glanced up, her dark eyes piercing the couple as if she was still just as weary of them as the day they met, “You never told me why you wanted to adopt. You don’t mind me asking, do you…?”

“Not at all!” Arin was quick, "Well, uh, we wanted a child of our own, but…I’m anxious around newborns, and our careers right now just don’t allow us time for a newborn or a baby of our own. It seemed a lot smarter to go for the process of adoption, to help someone in a bad situation, y’know..? We know just how hard the foster care system is, so we wanted to give someone something good…”

Martinez hummed once again at their response. It probably wasn’t the first time she heard that reasoning, Suzy thought as she gently grasped her husband’s hand. Martinez finally spoke after what felt like an eternity of calculated silence, “This isn’t a puppy-show…you cannot give up on whoever you get when it gets hard. There are twenty-five thousand children in our care, their hearts are full of hurt and pain, and they’ve gone through more than most will in a lifetime. I need to know that you’re serious, that this isn't a phase. I refuse to add to the world of hurt they already know…” She spoke somberly. 

Arin and Suzy nodded, Suzy choosing to speak up to relieve some of the tension from Arin, “we understand. My husband and I are in this for the long run, and we’re willing to do anything to help…”

Martinez nodded, her eyes softening. It didn’t mean that she fully believed them, but it seemed to mean that she was more confident in their pleas for a good cause. She sighed through her nose, opening up a file cabinet beside her desk. It took her a flash before she pulled out a rather thick, deep maroon folder. “I’m going to be honest with you…I have an idea as to who will fit with you guys the best. But…I’m very protective of her. Abandoned eight times throughout eight years. She’s got a lot of baggage, a lot of heartache in the world, sensitive girl… I’m not supposed to show or tell you who I’m going to place with you but…I want, more than anything, for this to work, not for you--but for her.” 

She opened the folder and took out the front piece of paper, sliding it over. She continued to speak, “She’s a sweet girl, really is. I’m not going to tell you the details of her life, that’s her story to share…but she’s been through so much. You both seem like you have good hearts, and good support systems around you…That’s what kids like her need…”

Suzy and Arin both looked down at the paper. Paper-clipped onto the front was a photo of a young, sickly looking mixed-Korean girl. A head full of thick black curls, reddish cheeks and a light dusting of freckles, dark rings under her eyes. Suzy could feel her heart ache, seeing the sadness in her eyes and through her weak smile. Despite the sadness, Suzy could almost make out a glowing hope within the golden flecks. The small revelation made Suzy’s heart flare with protective tension, and from the look on Arin’s face, he must’ve felt the same way. Lorelai L. Extrum, 14, F, August, 21st, 2000. 

“I’ve known her since she was eight…I don-”

Before Martinez could respond, Arin spoke up, much to Suzy’s surprise. There was a stern determination in his voice, a confidence that seemingly blossomed from seeing her photo, “I don’t want this little girl waiting any longer than she has to. It’s not fair for her…Just--Just tell us what we have to do in order to make this work.” Arin looked up at Martinez, his brown eyes shimmering. Suzy couldn’t help but feel a small sense of pride in her husband, the light from the office windows only making him glow more. 

There was another long moment of silence, Martinez eyeing the couple closely. Suzy could tell she was thinking everything over, harshly. Her heart raced in her chest, each thump only making the silence of the room more intense. But Martinez’s eyes flickered to the thick file, then to the exposed photo. Perhaps Lorelai’s sad eyes had a way with people, Suzy thought so. 

Martinez sighed softly, “I have some more forms for you both to sign that are harder to find online but will make this process leagues faster…We’ll file it together so it doesn’t get stuck in processing…” 

The Hansons did a double take, heads whipping to each other, then to Martinez, then back again. Suzy watched as her husband went through each stage of realization as he took another glance at her. She could feel tears threatening to release themself, yet through the tears she could see Arin’s own eyes mirroring. “Thank you…Thank you so much, you don’t know how much this means to us…!” Suzy smiled, excited small laughs escaping her lips as tears fully went down. 

Five-hundred-forty-seven days in waiting.

Five-hundred-forty-seven days worth of build-up to this exact moment

Suzy Berhow and Arin Hanson were officially on the road to becoming adoptive parents…

Chapter Text

November 16th, 2014

6:30 A.M.

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!!! BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!!!

The small alarm blasted in Lorelai’s face, the overwhelming high pitch proving itself to be one of an electronic demon. Though, Lorelai Extrum had been awake long before the alarm had decided to rear its ugly loud head into the world. She laid curled up in the small bed, a thin blanket draped over her. The room at the DSS building was intensely cold, its four stale walls practically bouncing off the cold air directly at her. At the rate in which the building's central heating and air was going, a motel room might’ve been more desirable. 

Her eyes glanced around the room, it seemed so dark despite being 6:30 already. It meant a storm was probably coming. Great, because that’s exactly what Lorelai needed to deal with! Her eyes soon met the camera, neatly placed on a table beside the door. Thankfully, it was pointed at the door rather than at her. To make sure she didn’t escape, as if someone like her would even have a place to run to.

Lorelai Extrum, who at this moment was fourteen years young, never had a place to run to. She had jumped around from motels to cars to trailers with her biological father, only to then be transferred what felt like a plethora of times to vastly different homes. No matter the building, there was just never enough time to truly settle in, to make her mark. Faces blurred together, leaving faster than they came in. However, they did teach her a valuable lesson of how the world worked…

Everything, and everyone , was temporary. 

A hard fact that most don't understand. Everyone will leave you, whether you want them to or not. And no matter how hard you cling or cry, they’ll slip through your fingers like grains of sand. 

Exhausting, but so was life. 

It took extra strength then usual for Lorelai to get herself up, the thin blanket draping down, allowing more of the harsh coldness to enter in. She groaned quietly to herself, rubbing her face with ice cold fingers. Not many people lived in the DSS building, most were lucky in that regard to usually have a backup. Lorelai once did have backup homes, but there’s only so many backups one can exhaust. Those backups, and the backups of those backups, were utterly exhausted, meaning Lorelai had no choice but to camp out in a small bedroom in the back of the Department of Social Services building.

A small room with a small bathroom attached. Bathroom, warm shower, Lorelai kept repeating in her head. She slowly crept out of bed, her feet hitting the cold tile and sending jolts through her body. She knew it was probably warmer outside than it was in the building, this was Los Angeles after all; the city of fire and heat and hellish rays of sunshine. Though, today, thick clouds loomed overhead. Lorelai slowly made her way to a black trash bag on the floor, crouching down and grabbing a clean outfit from inside. It was the last clean outfit inside, but she knew by the time she returned from school, it’d be done by one of the workers. 

She clutched onto the soft fabric, slowly rising to her feet. Her cold feet reached the bathroom at a sluggish pace, the tile sending another shock up her body of cold. The bathroom was no bigger than a closet, with a toilet and sink closely crammed together. The shower was not a designated tub, but rather just a head and a nob, the drain in the middle of the floor. It felt sterile, different grayish-greens making the room feel even more grimey. 

Warm shower. Warm shower. Warm shower. 

Lorelai opened the small cupboard under the sink, putting both her outfit and pajamas inside. It was the only way to stop them from getting drenched by the shower, unless she wanted to creep out into the cold bedroom. 

6:45 A.M.

Lorelai glanced in the tiny steamed mirror, using the side of her palm to wipe away the steam. Through the smudged steamy streaks, she could see herself. She was bony, a side effect of the years of not eating very much, if at all. Despite the lack of food, her face had a certain hollow roundness. Under her bushy “caterpillar” eyebrows,  her low-bridged nose pointed down to the only thing truly plump about her; her heart shaped cracked lips. Lorelai grimaced at her own reflection before rubbing her hands up and down against her face.

Lorelai stepped out of the steamy bathroom, her clothes sagging on her frame. The layers at least made her a little warmer against the stale room. She sat back down on the bed, throwing on her converse that was still a size too small and hanging on by a thread. Her backpack sat slumped by the side of the door, leading her eyes back to her things. After constant years of moving, having a lot was not an option. A pack of oil pastels and cheap paints stuck out from the black trash bag, uncovered by the lack of clothes on top of them.

Lorelai did like art, she loved the way colors blended together, to be able to portray a world much brighter than her own. But lately, she didn’t have the energy to draw. She really didn’t have the energy to do anything. Her last home had taken that energy, and hope rather, away from her. She thought for a moment, that perhaps she would try again when she would inevitably return back from school. 

School, she thought, was a nightmare and a half. It wasn’t that she was bad at school, but given the constant moving and the lack of stability, schooling was the least of her worries. Straight B’s, a C here and there, she was satisfied enough. It wasn’t like girls like her had the benefits that good grades brought anyway. There would be no Yale scholarships or opportunities waiting for her. People like her worked “dead-end” jobs, if they didn’t succumb to their own demons first.

7:10 A.M.

Breakfast would wait for school, if she made it on time. That fact didn’t really bother her so much, for she had gotten used to going without breakfast. Truthfully, lunch was the only meal actually provided, for it was free from the school. Small, but at least it was something. Some kids went without anything, Lorelai frequently told herself. 

By the time she snapped out of her own thoughts, a social worker opened the door. This wasn’t her social worker, that was Jessica Martinez, who didn’t get into the office until 8 A.M. This was someone else, someone Lorelai didn’t bother to remember the name of. They didn’t seem too thrilled that a part of their job had been walking a foster kid to the bus, but they at least didn’t outwardly say that. 

“Lorelai, good morning. Did you sleep well?” She asked softly, looking down at the much shorter girl. She had a soft, round face, though Lorelai didn’t pay much mind to anything about her. 

“I slept fine…” She answered quietly, picking up her droopy bookbag and slinging it over her shoulder. 

“You left your coat in my car, dear. It’s cold outside, so please do not forget it when you go to school, alright, dear?’

The usage of dear, to Lorelai, felt forced. It is as if she was trying to be overly comforting, though perhaps it was just a genuine quirk. Either way, Lorelai couldn’t find herself endeared by it, nor could she find comfort in it. She simply nodded, keeping her head down as she walked alongside the social worker. She could feel the spot in her shoe that was thinning into paper, and while it worried her, she still didn’t want to say anything. 

7:35 A.M.

Merewether Secondary Therapeutic Continuation School seemed to glow in the dewy morning, a threatening title to Lorelai. She wasn’t a bad kid, at least she didn’t think so, but given her situation, the state figured that this would be a good temporary school for her. So far, this had been her longest stay at any school, almost a year. It was a harsh reminder that she had, for all intensive purposes, been without a home for almost a year. 

Without a family for almost a year.

Though, she had been without a family for even longer than that. She shook her head, the voice of the taxi-cab-social-worker ringing in her ears, “We’re here, Lorelai. Try to have a good day. I sense that good things are coming to you.” 

“Okay…”  

With a sigh, she stepped out of the small white car and pushed her way through students to get inside the building. She dreaded school, it was a consistent reminder of her faults, her abnormalities, all that she didn’t have. There was a specific person who’s mere existence reminded Lorelai of all she did not have, though Lorelai knew she couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault she was born with certain privileges, certain immunities. She was still the closest thing Lorelai had to a friend in this place. 

Speak of the devil and the devil shall come , Lorelai thought as she watched the girl with chunky highlights in her auburn hair approach. Tilly Kudrow, a beautiful sixteen, with an outfit that would make one believe that it was summertime in Los Angeles. She had lots of dark makeup around her eyes, almost as if she was trying to imitate a raccoon. Unlike Lorelai, she was much more of the typical “troubled teen”. She had been put here due to consistent fighting, bullying of other students. Lorelai always considered her a friend, for she didn’t mind the behavior. For Lorelai, it really wasn’t abnormal for someone to act as aggressively as Tilly. 

“Lorey!!! There you are. Jesus Christ, you’re fuckin’ slow. Where have you been?” She has a nasally inflection, almost as if she spoke with the back of her throat rather than the front. “You aren’t going to believe what fucking Jessica Rhemes was wearing. I swear, she’s trying to copy me.”

“No kidding.” Lorelai mumbled meekly, “I’m not slow, I arrive at this time every day, what are you talking about?”

But Tilly grabbed onto her arm, “No you aren’t. But, fuck that, it doesn’t matter. Wanna skip first again? We can go down to the 7-11 or something, anything but here. It’s chili again, y’know. The last time you had that you were comatose, and I’m not walking around with chili breath again. I can’t handle an hour-and-a-half of you puking out your guts again, sweetie .”

Lorelai was used to the condescending tone Tilly used to annunciate her words. There were many things about Tilly that Lorelai noticed, like the way she fidgeted with the ball of her spunky-new tongue piercing after talking. “I’m bringing Shawn with us, y’know. Me and him are serious this time. He’s totally over Jessica, probably because he realized how good I was in comparison to her. She’s such a bitch-!” 

Lorelai frowned again, “No…I don’t really want to. Didn’t you look outside? It looks…kinda like shit out there. Gonna catch my death-”

‘C’mon, don’t be fucking lame! Thanksgiving Break is soon, no ones doing anything! Who the fuck cares?!” Tilly was right about that. The break was drawing near, but truthfully, Lorelai wasn’t looking forward to that. School meant she could leave that small little room at the DSS office. Lorelai really didn’t like small rooms, claustrophobic torture chambers. “Yeah but…why don't we just, like, go during lunch? And what about the cameras anyhow? This is a school-” 

“Please, you know the idiot who watches those cameras is asleep at the desk. He has never stopped us before!”

“Well, it's kinda stupid showing up here just to leave-” Lorelai argued back.

Tilly glared down, her mouth curling into an undesirable snarl. The horrors of a teenage girl's glare was one Lorelai was much accompanied to. The last time the two of them got into a spat, even over the little things, Lorelai found herself sitting in the “dog house”, begging for Tilly to forgive her. “Since when did you decide you were better than m-”

“Okay, fine- Jesus! I'll go, please, I-I’m sorry-!”

And with that final push, Tilly smiled once again, playfully laughing as if she hadn't just lost her cool, “See! There's the Lorelai I know!” It made Lorelai’s heart sink into her stomach, though that was just what friendships made you feel. It wasn’t like the movies, where they’d dance in the rain or always have eachothers’ backs. No, that was all just fairy-tale crap, much like everything else so distant in the girl’s life.

Tilly led the way, locking her arm in a knot with Lorelai’s as they both slithered through the halls, “We’ll hide out in the girls bathroom. Say your stomach hurts or somethin’!” she whisper-giggled into her ear, her boots clicking against the linoleum tile.

“I thought you couldn’t have any more tardies,” Lorelai mumbled as they headed into the bathrooms, cramming themselves into one of the smaller ones. Tilly hopped onto the toilet bowl, making her seat on the pipe that made the backing of the toilet.

Tilly ignored her comment, “Sit on the toilet, they aren’t as suspicious of you. If someone walks in and sees my shoes, they’ll totally fuckin’ kill me.”

8:55 A.M

The 7-11 approximately ten California blocks away from the school was surprisingly vacant. This was especially odd to Lorelai given that this 7-11 was attached to a Burger King , a quality obvious from the horrific grease smell that came from that side of the building. Lorelai’s stomach ached with hunger, but with no money to her name and Tilly’ unwillingness to share, Lorelai would find other ways to manage. She sat on the far side of their small Burger King booth, too afraid to go near Shawn and Tilly, who appeared more like a ball of sloppy kisses rather than two teenagers. 

She awkwardly kept her gaze on her phone, the occasional giggle making her anxiety harden in her shoulders. Instead, she clicked on YouTube, mindlessly scrolling through the suggestions. Deep down, she was hoping the bright thumbnails of the videos would make her distracted. 

YouTubers, they seemed to live such fabulous lives. They were always smiling, making money playing video games or showing off their artwork or indulging in their hobbies or traveling the world. Even if it was hard work, it seemed so freeing. A part of her did really want to become a YouTuber, though it sounded so out of reach. It was like saying you wanted to be an actress, a mere pipe dream. But, she’d be lying if she denied the many times she imagined her hypothetical videos, where she would talk about anything and everything she found interesting.

And she would be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking about it now, as her thumb scrolled through thumbnails. 

BALLOON BONANZA - DOES THIS THING REALLY WORK? - grav3yardgirl

ANIMATRONICS ROB A BANK!! - Gmod Five Nights at Freddy’s Bank Robbery (Garry’s Mod) - VenturianTale

Silent Hill: Play Novel - Game Grumps

The third title stuck out to her, mostly because it prominently featured her favorite color: orange. There were two smaller little cartoon heads, both of which looked angry, one was a vampire and the other was a Frankenstein monster with what looked to be a skater boy haircut..? Lorelai wasn't quite sure what she was looking at.

She clicked on the video out of curiosity, half believing it to be an animated video. 

“Hey I’m ghoul!”
“Blehhhhh!”
“And this is Ghoul Grumps~!”

There was some turkey gobbling and laughter, a chaotic opening to the random pixelated vide on screen. Okay...this is...even weirder...? What the fuck is this?

“This is silent hill, errgurburrr...burrr...” The first voice, a much more confident and nonchalant sound, came after the chaos. It was a deep rumble, but not so deep that it was intimidating. Was this a stoner?

"There's just...long chunks of my life missing from my memory..."  A second voice, buttery smooth and docile, as if his vocal cords were made out of symphonies from blowing on bottle tops. Okay, definitely a stoner.

Lorelai watched for a few minutes, the cheap earbud in her ear rubbing it raw as she adjusted. The slight sting in her ear didn’t matter, however, for the two men talking were very entertaining. They bounced off each other beautifully, even though whatever game they were playing seemed to be getting under their skin. Lorelai didn’t understand most of it, but she couldn’t help but chuckle along. 

Ding-Ding! 

The sudden automated bell made Lorelai’s eyes dart upward towards the source. A couple came in quickly, shuffling through the gas station side of the building. Both seemed nervous, as if they were in a rush to do something big. A tall, broad man shuffled directly to the candy section, and the woman, a raven-haired girl, went to the snacks, telling her partner something about sunflower seeds. They had matching money pieces, which Lorelai found sweet. Though, Lorelai couldn’t help but find it funny. The man kind of looked like the floating head from the video, making her softly giggle. 

“Why are you laughing so damn much?!” Tilly harshly whispered, Lorelai’s head whipping over. She was about to open her mouth and explain, but she just rolled her eyes. Shaking her head, Lorelai perched more on the cushion, her bony back facing away from Tilly. Her eyes glanced back up at the moving couple, though she attempted to make it seem like she was on her phone. Through her glances, she watched as the couple approached the counter, three items in their hands. Trolli Sour Gummy Worms, a mini bag of Gushers, and BBQ flavored Sunflower Seeds . They seemed to pay, gather their items, and make their way towards the door. Lorelai assumed they were already out of the door, but a high pitched voice seeped to her ears.

“I’m so sorry for bothering you- but your curls? They’re beautiful!” 

Lorelai glanced back up, her cheeks pinkening. The woman, who had to be in her early twenties, smiled sweetly. Her make-up looked just like the ones the beauty YouTubers would do, with sharp winged eyeliner and hair done up into something that seemed straight out of the fifties. Almond eyes that complimented her high cheekbones, a thin upper lip with the sharpest cupid’s bow Lorelai had ever seen. She wore a black and white polka-dot dress, her red earrings pulling the outfit together. 

She was speechless for a moment, before a shy smile crept onto her face, “Th-thank you, ma’am…Your hair is really pretty, too.” 

The black haired woman smiled brightly, “Hair’s a great weapon for a girl.” She giggled at her own half joke, politely waving before beginning to follow off. Her male counterpart didn’t seem to follow, his eyes locked on Lorelai with a confused expression. He seemed to almost recognize her, which was impossible, given that Lorelai couldn’t recall ever meeting him. Long hair tied neatly into a ponytail, a small beard and mustache complimenting the rosiness of his face. His brown eyes, while confused, were merciful and sweet. Perhaps he was noticing the skinniness of her wrists or the tiredness of her eyes? 

“Arin, honey?” The woman called, peeking her head back, “Sorry about him! He’s…He confuses easily-!”

It was clearly an excuse, but enough for “Arin” to mumble a very anxious apology and speed off towards his wife. 

Once he was gone, Lorelai could hear Tilly’s abrasive voice, “Way to fucking draw attention, Lorelai. What part of laying low do you not get?”

Just as Lorelai was going to respond with a quip of her own, her phone buzzed in her hand. With a squeak, she glanced down at the phone, the notification shining at her. A WhatsApp notification, which couldn’t mean much good when one of two people who had Lorelai’s contact information was sitting right beside her, and the other was the only adult who ever assumed responsibility for her.

J MARTINEZ: Be ready. I am going to pick you up in ten minutes, there is something important news I have for you.

Shit.

Lorelai’s eyes widened, her head whipping over to Tilly and away from the woman, “Tilly! Tilly, we gotta go!”

“Seriously? What’s your problem now?” Tilly rolled her eyes at Lorelai, a snotty look upon her face, “Passing period isn’t in another seven minutes, we’ve got time to relax.”

Lorelai grabbed her backpack, quickly throwing it on her back, “My social workers on her way! We gotta go! She’d kill me if she knew I was here-” she whisper-yelled.

“Girl! That is your social worker, not mine!” Tilly leaned into the pasty white boy beside her, “Looks like you better get a move on, schools nine minutes away y’know~!” 

Chapter Text

9:00 A.M.

Arin Hanson sat in his white Subaru, white knuckling the steering wheel with fear. He could feel the sweat caking on the back of his neck, the hairs slightly sticking to the skin. He was deathly nervous, they were finally meeting their foster child in person. Arin could safely say that this was the most terrifying day of his life, it even beat being on television or being berated by online strangers each day. His mind raced, after all, if this had been terrifying for him, then the poor girl must’ve been inconsolable. 

The thought of making that poor girl upset tugged at his heart-strings, his stomach churning with anxiety. From everything he knew about her, which arguably wasn’t too much, he felt so bad for her already. He didn’t want to add to her torment, what if this was stressing her out? What if she hated them? What if this was only making things worse? It didn’t help that they were parked outside of a Therapeutic Continuation School, two words that did not seem the most promising. A part of him wondered if she was some criminal in the making, smashing mailboxes and stealing cars. He felt even more awful thinking that, but really, his mind no longer felt like his own. 

“Do you think she'll be okay?” Arin mumbled, half-ashamed that a question like that would slip from his mouth, “Why does she go to a school like this?”

Suzy hummed, “Arin, this school offers emotional care for those who don’t get it at home. It’s just school with therapy, since when have you been against that?” She spoke softly. Arin could tell she was equally as nervous, but unlike Arin, she was much more reasonable.

“I-I not, I just- Its just that, we don’t live anywhere near here- wouldn’t we…I dunno, be taking away something she needs..?”

“She’s going to be okay, Arin. Martinez says that Lorelai hasn’t really taken to many of the methods here, so it might be good to try something different.” Suzy spoke softly, balancing a small basket in her lap. They had made it the night before, almost as a courtesy gift for taking up her time in meeting her. Since they didn’t know much about her interests, they filled it with what they assumed a girl would need. Cherry blossom and blood scented skin care, cute little face masks with animals printed on them, a nice perfume, and a small white teddy bear. Arin had done the diligence of adding Trolli gummy worms and a small can of Redbull, much to Suzy’s dismay that the social worker wouldn’t approve.

Lorelai , Arin thought, he liked that name . It was bouncy, alluring and whimsical. He thought it was a rather pretty name, it seemed like a great name for a girl. He didn’t think he could come up with anything much better. Was it bad he was already imagining how much her name could advance? Would she mind being a Hanson? A Berhow? 

And thinking about her name, and the kind words from his wife beside him eased Arin a little bit, “Are we going to be okay?” 

Suzy took Arin’s hand, gently squeezing his clammy palms with her soft ones, “We are going to be okay, too.” 

They quickly shared a gentle kiss, Arin turning back to the school entrance. Suzy was right, though it didn't stop him from feeling tense. He quickly, without looking, popped a few gushers into his mouth, letting the sweet artificial flavor coat his tongue and distract him. “We didn't get the wrong candy, did we?” 

Suzy held up the unopened Trolli gummy worms, “I trust Jessica, Arin. It's going to be okay, just take a breath.” She smiled, squeezing his shoulder again for comfort. 

“Will she like the gift-basket we made her?” 

“Arin,” Suzy leaned against his pink button up, “It's going to be okay. Please, my love, relax.” 

And so, he sat back in his seat, letting go of the steering wheel. The silence was deafening, and he worried his heartbeat was far too loud. Even his thoughts seemed far too loud. Though, as he over-analyzed the world outside of the windshield, he noticed someone who brought him a sense of deja-vu. Thick black curls that overlapped baggy clothes, converse that could barely keep up with her little feet. He couldn’t quite make out her face, but it seemed to be the girl from earlier at the 7-11.

The girl who looked like Lorelai…

“Hey, Suze…Doesn’t…Doesn’t that girl look familiar?”

He watched as the girl cartoonishly flung the backpack over the fence, scrambling lanky short limbs up the chan-links. She struggled to get up, but eventually rolled herself over the top, landing on the ground with a harsh thud. Just as she scampered out of sight behind the school, Suzy opened her eyes. “Who..? I don’t see any girl.”

Arin blinked in surprise a few times, surely that couldn’t have been the girl from the gas station. More importantly, that couldn’t have been Lorelai. If that was Lorelai, Suzy would’ve recognized her. “N-nothin’...Must’ve been a staff member or somethin…” Perhaps Lorelai was a rebel? That would definitely make her easier to get along with. 

9:05 A.M.

Lorelai stumbled into the back of the school, her side aching from her fall. She heaved with her backpack in tow, trying her best to wipe the dirt off her arms. Thank the lucky stars she had good running legs, she thought, even if they were rather short. Her feat ached as she blended in with the crowd, making her way to her locker. When she got there, she punched in the code, opening up to grab an extra sweater. She switched them out, thankfully hiding the wet dirt that was scraped on her arm. 

She pressed her sweaty forehead to the cold locker, breathing a sigh of relief. Thankfully, she hadn’t received any text confirmation that Martinez had arrived, and truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see Martinez. Not because Jessica had done anything herself, far from it. Rather, it was just hard. It was hard because usually her surprise visits meant big change was coming. 

As if she needed anymore reason to feel isolated and alone. 

She watched as cliques walked by her, duos and trios and groups of people walking side by side, laughing and smiling with one another. There was no point of trying to fit in with these people, they would be gone in a flash anyway. Besides, most of them understood she was different, lesser than. From her clothes to her background, everything seemed so inferior. Lorelai kept herself to her locker for a few more moments, her breath slowly easing up. Though, her heart rate didn’t have much of a chance to relax, given the sudden voice through the loudspeakers. 

“Lorelai Extrum to the front office! Lorelai Extrum to the front office!”

Lorelai glanced down at her phone, noticing the confirmation message finally appearing. She sighed, throwing her backpack over her shoulder and making her way to the office. The pit in her stomach grew, for the last time Martinez made a surprise visit, it was to alert her that her father was freed from prison on “ good behavior. ” Bullshit , she thought, but surely this visit would be even more bad news. What was next? Was her mother finally found? Was the DSS building kicking her out? She just couldn’t wait.

She slipped inside the cracker-box office, noticing Martinez right away. A bright green pantsuit with black shoes, hair curled perfectly into large ringlets. Lorelai wiped her clammy hands on her pants as Martinez hugged her softly, “Hi, hon. How are you? I’m so sorry to be here on such short notice…”

“I-It’s fine…I’m fine-! Uhm, why…why are you here?”

“Well, I have a couple I want you to meet. They’re interested in fostering you, honey.” Her voice was nasally yet soft, her dark eyes glancing down at the young girl. “I am really confident about this one, seriously. They’re a lot different than the usual suspects, I promise.”

“You said that the last time, Jess…” Lorelai frowned. She didn’t mean to be doubtful in Martinez, it was just hard not to be.

“I said that to comfort you, yes,” Martinez sighed softly, giving her another tight squeeze, “But I am serious this time. I have faith in them.”

Martinez and Lorelai soon made their way down a long hall. It was cramped with boxes and supplies, but soon they made it to a small conference room. The walls were painted a calming blue color, a big window opened to let in the natural light. A poster of a cat twinkled, “ Hang in there! ” 

There was a small, clear basket sat in the middle of the table, a myriad of self care supplies filling it. Her eyes were fixated on the bright white teddy bear that had been fashioned to be hugging a small Redbull can. It was certainly new, to be given gifts on the day of meeting. Well, none of her other candidates or emergency situations ever did that. Lorelai allowed herself to be guided to a chair on the opposing side of the table, sitting down next to Martinez. It was here when she finally looked up at the couple, her breath stopping. 

The woman. The man. 

Holy shit!

They were the couple from the gas station! His brown eyes were nervously fixated on Lorelai, her heart pounding. The same matching money pieces, the same black polka-dot dress encapsulating the beautiful woman. Her husband was the same, with the bushy mustache and the dark rouge colored button up. Lorelai felt her gut twist. They were going to say something, and that was going to make this situation even more troublesome. 

But, Martinez spoke softly, “Lorelai, this is Arin Hanson and Suzy Berhow. They are the couple I told you about, they’re interested in potentially fostering you…”

Lorelai couldn’t help but blubber out, “Me? N-not just…fostering in general?”

“No, no! Lorelai-- They’re interested in you!” Martinez insisted, putting a stern hand on Lorelai’s shoulder. Her face was soft, and that made Lorelai’s gut twist. 

Lorelai glanced back at the couple, Suzy giving her a gentle, albeit nervous, smile. Arin seemed more confused than Suzy, though Lorelai couldn’t help but see the knowing in their eyes. Yet in that knowing was a softness, something she hadn’t ever quite seen in someone’s face before. There were nice people she had stayed with, sure, but they looked at her more so with pity than that soft warmth. It was…refreshing. “Hello, Mrs. Berhow, Mr. Hanson.” She spoke softly, concealing a nervous stutter behind picking the dry skin around her fingers. 

“Please, call us Suzy and Arin! The Mr and Mrs thing is not our style,” Suzy smiled, her teeth perfect. A few sharp teeth created such a magazine smile, Lorelai couldn’t help but be a little jealous by what seemed to be effortless beauty, “It’s so nice to see you in person, you’re even prettier in the flesh! Please, the basket is for you, we really hope you like it.” 

Lorelai dipped her head with gratitude, rubbing her hands together. She didn’t entirely believe Suzy meant such polite things, but in the fashion of these interviews, that was the way to do it. Intense politeness to try and ignore the seething awkwardness. Most people expected her to be a sobbing mess, seeping with gratitude and servitude, and most were rather perturbed when the ego wasn’t stroked, mostly because Lorelai was too afraid to do big showcases of emotion.

But, Suzy and Arin didn’t seem to be looking for any theatrical performances. They looked at her like she was a person. Lorelai knew that was a strange observation, but perhaps seeing how nervous they were made the equality more obvious. Martinez cleared her throat, the silence too loud, “Lorelai, why don’t you tell them about yourself? You know, your hobbies, favorite color or songs, maybe?

Lorelai blinked, her mouth suddenly dry and grainy. She nodded nervously, “Heh, sorry- I, uh, never do well in this stage-” She blabbered, “But, uh…I-I’m Lorelai, you already know that- Uhm, hobbies? I…I don’t know, I don’t really have time for those anymore. But uh, I really like orange and pink, for colors, not hobbies- an-and my favorite song..? I like uh, Nights in White Satin by the, Uh….Uh…Moody Blues-!”

I totally fucking ruined it- Lorelai cursed herself, replaying the horrible word vomit that had just protruded its ugly head out of her mouth. She was expecting Arin and Suzy to begin laughing at her, but instead, Arin had finally spoken up quietly. 

“I-I really like orange and pink, too…” His eyes seemed a little too wide, his posture a little too straight. Lorelai seemed a bit puzzled, he sounded familiar? Yet, her mind was not thinking of the video she had stumbled across at the gas station.

“Really?” 

“Y-yeah…An-and hey, doesn’t Danny like that song, Suzy…?” Arin spoke, clearly just as awkward as Lorelai. That made her feel a little better. 

Suzy mirrored Martinez, putting her hand around her husband’s shoulder and squeezing, “Danny does like those songs.” She seemed sympathetic towards her husband's growing anxieties, “Sorry about us, we’re just so nervous. But, you’ll like Dan, especially if your music taste is so refined…Say, my favorite color is a nice dark purple, and my favorite song is probably…Spellbound by Siouxsie and the Banshees. It’s such a beautiful song!”

“O-oh! My favorite song is…y’know I don’t think I have any!” The question seemed to distract Arin from his nervousness, his posture relaxing a little bit. From this angle, he appeared more like a big feline cat rather than a scary strange man. From that realization, it made her soften her own posture. “Say…how are you feeling..a-about all this, Lorelai?’

“Wh-what?”

“How are you feeling?” Arin looked back up at her, his soft brown eyes getting a curious glimmer. 

She blinked, sitting up in her chair and looking at the both of them, “Truthfully?”

“Yes.”

“Truthfully, I am feeling very overwhelmed.” she blurted out, quickly stiffening with wide eyes. “S-sorry! Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment-I’m very grateful, very happy! Hones-”

But Suzy also leaned forward, outstretching her hand on the table. Her smile was warm, albeit concerned, her voice soft like a summer wind, “Whatever you need us to do to make you feel comfortable, we will do it. You are in control here…” Lorelai stared at her for a few moments, feeling like an idiot just blinking there. But, slowly, she allowed the tips of her fingers to touch Suzy’s, nodding slightly. Suzy interjected again, “Why don’t we have lunch, everyone becomes less anxious when there is food in front of them.”

“Talking is a lot better when shoving food in your mouth-” Arin blurted, a genuine smile on his face. He then realized that perhaps he didn’t say the most appropriate thing in the moment, and his face went a little pale. 

However, Lorelai couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment, and with each sound, it seemed like a little color came from his face. “I-I think that’s right-!”

Arin especially gave a warm grin, only making that warm feeling just a little bit more intense.

Before Lorelai knew it, Martinez was leading Hanson and Berhow up out of their seats, ushering them along to iron out the little details of the first meeting. “I’m going to escort Lorelai to the restaurant, that way I can comfort her. You must remember, this is a lot,” Lorelai heard Martinez quietly explain to Suzy, “But, she seems okay, better than the last time something like this happened. I’m going to be sitting at a different table, that way you all can bond with her, but she can come to me if it's too much…” the words slipped out of Lorelai’s hearing.

 Arin lagged behind a bit at the door, concealing something at his side. He turned in the doorway, looking at Lorelai with a rather dopey grin. He seemed to reach over to the pen and notepad from the table, writing something down rather sloppily before dumping it in the basket and rushing back off to meet Suzy. It seemed like he had winked at her before exiting, and Lorelai couldn’t help but wonder what made his anxieties melt away? Was it her laugh? Was his nervousness an act in the first place? She couldn’t be sure.

Lorelai was left alone with the pretty self-care, taking this brief moment to noisily inspect the basket. After all, if it was for her, then surely she should be able to look. She dug through the basket, genuinely thankful for all the pretty smelling gifts. But her main interest was that crumpled sticky note. When she had finally found where it had landed, she quickly scooped it up and uncrumpled it. 

“Lorelai, I saw you sneaking back from your escapades. Freedom is important, but please be safe! That fall seemed to really hurt :(
But, your secret is safe with me! Just be careful, ‘kay?
We look forward to having more hijinks,
Arin”

Chapter Text

“What if they don’t like me? They seem really young to want to waste their time with a kid like me-” Lorelai began, sitting inside Jessica Martinez’s Nissan Altima. She remained huddled in her seat, looking out the window of the fast driving car. 

Martinez gasped, “Don’t talk like that, Lorelai. You are not a waste of time, you just have to be real with them. Don’t hide who you are around them, embrace it. They will like you just fine, honey.” She comforted, her voice seemingly heartbroken. “And if they don’t like you, then we continue to hunt for a family that does. We don't give up just because people are blind.” 

“Well, surely they couldn't have all been bad. There’s a common denominator, and all of them are me. These people aren't going to be any different.” Lorelai spoke in a harsh tone, her irritation at her situation growing ever so slowly. It wasn't fair, most girls didn't go through this, they had families who loved them. Why didn't she get that?! What was wrong with her? She tried every approach, from the doting angel to the silent unnoticeable type, and she always seemed to get people who either hated her guts and only enjoyed the check, or people who couldn't take care of her. 

“Lorelai, stop it! The system…it's not good. People can be greedy or over their heads, and I'm sorry that none of them have worked out but…but you shouldn't hold that against yourself. And you can't hold it against them, either. If they're over their heads, then so be it, and we keep trying until we get someone who isn't. I don't think they are in over their heads. Sure, I don't think they're the most…I don't know, they don't seem like the average adopting couple, but they're young! And maybe you need young people to keep up with you. Don't ruin this because other people have ruined you, Lorelai-” 

Lorelai sat silently for a moment. She knew Martinez was correct, but God did not feel like she was. The small voice in her head insisted upon the answer that felt right: that she was the problem. She relaxed in her seat silently, turning her head back to the window. Martinez seemed to notice the prolonged silence, sighing softly, “Honey, I…I didn't mean to have an outburst like that. Look, to know you…knowing you is loving you, Lorelai! I know you, and I couldn't help but love you! These people want to know you, so let them.”

“If you love me so much, why haven't you just adopted me yet?” Lorelai knew that comment was harsh, but her heart was hurting. None of this was fair, and none of it made her feel any good. 

She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, feeling Martinez’s soft hand on her shoulder as she pulled into a parking lot. “If I was allowed to, I would in a heartbeat. But my agency prohibits that. Now don't think that means I'm dumping you and leaving. Have I ever left you before?” 

“No…you haven't.” 

“Besides, you're too needy for me to want to leave you.” 

Lorelai’s once grief stricken face changed into a confused comfort, “Needy?! What do you mean I'm needy?!” she asked defensively as Martinez shut off the car. They had arrived at a small restaurant, the Hanson-Berhow’s Subaru next to them and empty.

“All teen girls are…do you know how many times I begged my father and mother for things? Always needing something…” when Martinez saw Lorelai's sheepish smile reappear, she smiled back, “alright, give yourself a minute to compose yourself. There's the star of the show…”

10:10 A.M

Lorelai walked in by herself, Martinez staying behind to let Lorelai have some semblance of independence. She was ushered by a host to a table where Arin and Suzy sat together. The moment the couple saw her, it seemed like their faces lit up. Clearly, Arin must've had a pep talk. 

“Hi Lorelai!!! Come, come, sit! You're gonna love this place!” Suzy smiled excitedly, patting her hand down at the table. 

Lorelai smiled softly, bowing her head, “Thank you for taking me to lunch.” She slid into the seat opposite of them, the booth rather squishy from years of use. She noticed the brightly colored menu and her stomach rumbled. She knew if she ate even a plateful, she'd probably end up nauseous. 

The restaurant was rather cute, with checkered floors and pop red walls with pictures galore of different faces Lorelai assumed she was supposed to know, yet she didn't. A couple of cute pigs with wings seemed to be present throughout the restaurant. “Say, what's with the pigs?” 

“Aren't they cute? This is the Chophouse, it's a comfort diner. I figured this would be a good place because I don't know what foods you like, and this kinda has a little bit of everything…everything American at least! It was either this or a really nice sushi place, but sushi tends to freak out people for the first time, unless they're not picky-It freaked out Arin, the sushi-” Suzy spoke, clearly excited to have Lorelai here. It was different from her calm persona in the school conference room, but perhaps the lack of sterile surroundings made it easier to be yourself. 

Be yourself , Lorelai kept repeating, as cheap as it sounded. To know you is to love you!

And of course, in the face of pep-talks, Lorelai blurted, “Can't raw fish give you worms?”

You fucking idiot, Lorelai immediately cursed herself, realizing the ignorance of her question. But Arin smiled, looking at Suzy, “You thought I was crazy for thinking that, Suze! Look, a common thought. I believed the same thing-!” 

Lorelai couldn't help but feel a little better with Arin’s comment, Suzy chuckling, “If it's not prepared right, or it's a fish with parasites, then it can! But, usually most sushi is prepared with good fish, so you're safe to eat it!” She explained. 

“Now gas station sushi? Infecting you with the xenomorphs from Alien . Coming out of your stomach-” Arin blurted, glancing down at his menu, fighting back a smile. Lorelai couldn't help but imagine a big bald-headed alien popping out of her stomach due to some salmon. 

“Do people ever eat those things?” Lorelai couldn't help but chuckle again, covering her mouth with her bony fingers. “They always look abandoned to me.”

“People do, and those people die-” Arin joked. 

Suzy chuckled, “Arin-! You're so- get out of my face-” She giggled, a sound that was rather sweet to Lorelai’s ears, “Say, if you want a really good drink, order the strawberry lemonade with the popping strawberry boba! It's so amazing and just- ugh! If you don't want to order it, I'll gladly get an extra straw so you can at least try it.” 

Lorelai found herself growing a little soft to how excitable the two seemed to be. It was nice, seeing a better side of them. They didn't have Martinez judging their every move, Lorelai realized. She couldn’t help but wonder what about these two made Martinez so confident that she was already leaving them alone. Perhaps she was just feeling confident. A waiter soon approached the table, requesting drink orders. Arin had ordered a Cherry Cola, Suzy a strawberry lemonade, and Lorelai a water, for she didn’t want to appear any more greedy than she was already feeling.

“Mind if we get a kids meal?” Arin asked nonchalantly, Lorelai raising a brow. A part of her wanted to question, but the waiter had already sped off, making it much more awkward to actually say anything. He was quick to bring the drinks and the kids menu, Arin taking the paper and waxy crayons, looking for blank space. 

Suzy smiled, “Don’t mind him. If you want a really safe option, I’d recommend the barbecued chicken salad, the sauce they put on it is brilliant. But, given as we have taken you away from lunch, you’ll probably want something more filling. Their burgers are really good. Please, pick whatever you want, it's on us.” 

Lorelai looked at the menu, noting the prices of each dish. All of the choices, it was almost overwhelming. It had been a long while since she had been to a restaurant. The last time she went out to eat with a family, the brooding father-figure insisted she pick a salad. Douchebag… She soon spoke up after peering at the menu for what felt to be too long, “Well…since we’re talking so much about fish…I’ll do the barbeque salmon.”

“Oooh, that’s a great choice!” Suzy smiled, glancing over at her husband, who seemed to be drawing someone. “Say, do you like drawing, Lorelai?” 

“Uhm, when I have the time, I don’t mind. I..I uh, actually like using oil pastels, though I don’t have any now.” Lorelai explained sheepishly, feeling a little guilty the conversation was on her, “What about you guys?”

“Oh, I merely dabble. I’m much more of a crafter-” Suzy smiled, peering over Arin’s broad shoulder to see what he was drawing. 

Arin seemed to notice, glancing up, “Me? Oh, uh! Sorry-” He sat up a little more, “I’m an animator, actually!” He smiled, and it seemed to only widen with the look of amazement, “You said your favorite color was orange, right?” 

When she nodded, he fished the red and yellow crayons, beginning to blend them into an orange color, “Sorry, drawing makes me relax. You can join me if you want.” 

Lorelai nodded, picking up a blue crayon. The paper was plastic-y, the crayon too smooth. But alas, she prevailed, mindlessly doodling in the small corner. “Well, uhm, if you don’t mind me asking…what is it that you guys do for a living?”

“We, mostly I, play video games for people online to watch,” Arin explained, “Sometimes Suzy, but usually me and my boy-- my friend Dan.” 

Lorelai noticed the hesitation, but she didn’t want to press further, “That sounds fun! What kind of games do you play?”

Arin smiled again, “Oh, all kinds of games. Good ones, bad ones, really, really bad ones…”

Lorelai pondered for a moment, trying to recall anything. She vaguely remembered a game about dolls, a bright red cover, “Have you ever played the Bratz game?”

“Which one? There’s plenty-” Arin couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Y’know, it’s got a red cover? It’s the only one on Gamecube…?”

“Probably! I subject Dan and Ross to plenty of things-”

“Do...do they like being subjected to plenty of things?”

"Eh, hopefully!" Arin smiled up at her. Lorelai couldn't help but gulp. What did THAT mean!?

11:30 A.M

The three walked out of the restaurant, Lorelai giggling softly. Arin smiled, their time together at the restaurant made him loosen up, given it gave him an outlet to share some stories with her and lighten up the awkward tension. “Sooooo, I take it we'll be seeing you again?” Arin smiled at Lorelai, holding together two small to-go boxes. He handed her one, her salmon, which was less eaten and more so picked at like a bird.

“I don’t see why not…” Lorelai smiled softly, looking over at Martinez, who seemed to be sitting inside her car. Lorelai clung to her sweater, “Miss. Martinez, have you been here the whole time?!” 

“Course not,” She smiled, adjusting her sunglasses, “I take it things went well? I’ll call you two to review. 

It was awkward, but a nice attempt. Lorelai looked up at the two taller adults, waving her hands subtly, “Well…bye! Th-thank you for dinner!”

Arin had smiled, “Anytime, Lorelai. We’re gonna hang out again, kid! You really thought you could challenge me to Crazy Taxi and get away with it?” 

She laughed, when suddenly, Suzy had grabbed her into a hug. A tight embrace, Suzy was a strong lady. At first, fear washed over Lorelai, but it quickly subsided, being replaced with a new, warm, fuzzy feeling. She didn’t wrap her arms back, but she let herself be enveloped in the security, listening to Suzy’s voice, “I can’t wait to see you again!” 

And she, awkwardly like a newborn doe, hugged back. Her hands were cold and clammy in comparison to Suzy’s warm arms. “Yeah…I can’t wait to see you guys too..”

Chapter Text

November 20th, 2014

9:45 A.M.

“ We cannot home her here anymore, Miss. Martinez! If she has suitors available for her homing, then she must be sent to them! This room is for emergency situations only. ” A deep voice chastised, the snotty tone seeping through the closed door. Lorelai sat inside the DSS bedroom, tears slipping down her cheeks and choked sobs threatening to come out of her lips. She was being kicked out again, and she knew Jessica Martinez would not win, no matter how hard she advocated. 

“ She needs time to adjust! Given previous homes, it isn’t the most logical to just throw her there! They haven’t had nearly enough supervised visitations- ” Martinez pleaded, her voice desperate. It only made more tears fall down her face, her hands clinging to her bony arms. This felt all too familiar, yet it stung all the same. Not even the government wanted her around, no one seemed to ever want her around. It was always like this, where her social worker would have to scramble to give her another temporary house. 

Lorelai pressed herself against the wall, shutting her eyes tightly. She wanted to ignore everything, to push it behind and block it out. As she listened to the argument outside the bedroom, familiar voices and memories came flooding into her mind. Arin and Suzy. She had spent a majority of her time out of school and spending time with them, on different outings and supervised visits. With each visit, she grew to miss them each time she had to depart. She couldn’t believe herself, how could she let herself get attached so easily? After what everyone had done to her?! But, she thought of a memory, one that brought her comfort and made the argument outside fade.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You are going to love this place! Not only do I spend waaaay too much money here, but I sell some of my jewelry here. I’m sorry for the detour, but I figured you’d like it here. I have to make a drop off of some of my work,” Suzy had rambled  as Arin drove. Lorelai could see his brown eyes through the rearview mirror, his eyebrows wiggling in attempts at making Lorelai giggle, which it promptly did. 

Lorelai was in the back of their car, still shocked about how clean the interior was. There were three small boxes propped up on the other side of the backseat, seat-buckled in for safety. “You make jewelry? That is really cool.” Lorelai smiled softly, shaking her head at Arin’s distracting eyebrows. 

“It’s just something small I do. Truthfully, I want to set up my own store someday, but I’ve got other stuff in the way of that.” She responded, her smiling brightening once they parked, the store in question catching Lorelai’s attention. Next to brightly colored buildings of clothing stores and tourist spots was a small black building, built more like a townhouse than an actual store. “Ghast’s Comics and Oddities” was the sign on the window. The doors were propped open, and in the windows were purple lights.

The three of them stepped out of the car, Arin grabbing the three boxes. “Here, let me help.” Lorelai insisted, taking the top box from Arin and holding it closely. “What type of jewelry do you make, Suzy?” 

“Oh, you’ll see once we get in.” She grinned, leading the two of them inside. The inside seemed even more majestic than the outside. The walls were a deep maroon, the floors a black and white tile. There was artwork and merchandise all over the walls. Bug preservation lined the walls, beautiful moths and butterflies. There was a wall of necklaces and jewelry in the back, along with a rack of clothing. 

The lights were dim, but even in the dark could Lorelai see a small area to the right of the store. “Always be the black sheep” was displayed on a neon light sign, framed by fake vines, and under it was a velvet red couch and a small table. A lounge within the store, so to speak. “Hello Suzy, Arin!” The clerk happily smiled, Arin setting down the boxes. Snapping out of her thoughts, Lorelai set the box down too. 

“Heyy! I’ve got the stuff you wanted! More of the tarot and spider necklaces! The third box has some more of the taxidermied butterflies you requested! I’m so glad they’re doing well!” Suzy explained. The clerk nodded and began opening up the boxes, taking one of the butterflies out. 

It was a bright blue butterfly, preserved with black pins in a mahogany frame. The wings practically glowed in the light, “Oh my gosh, this is beautiful. Truly some of your best work.” 

Lorelai’s eyes widened a bit. Truthfully, she should have expected a woman who dressed like Suzy Berhow to be into bugs and the macabre. She was practically the real life Morticia Addams, and it only made Lorelai imagine Suzy in such a costume. Arin would probably make a good Gomez!

“That’s so cool!!!” Lorelai slipped out, standing on her tiptoes to peak into the boxes on the counter. 

Suzy laughed at the sudden compliment, “I should have warned you! I’m surprised you’re into bugs!” 

Lorelai’s face distorted into an agape shock, as if she hadn’t realized what she said, “Well-uh! Uhm, I-I’m not like… IN to bugs so to speak but uh..I think your art is really cool!”

Suzy smiled, putting her hand on Lorelai’s back and rubbing gently, “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart. I appreciate the sentiment.” She giggled, giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

“Thank you.” Lorelai heard Arin say to the clerk. He held a check in his hand, which he then gently put into Suzy’s large black purse. 

“Here, while Arin deals with this, come with me.” Suzy smiled, gently leading Lorelai away from the counter. She did float like Morticia, Lorelai soon realized. Before she knew it, they were by the jewelry rack. There were so many choices and things that caught Lorelai’s eyes. Silver pendants of beetles and spiders, beautifully vibrant gemstones, elaborate chokers, pearls, practically a girl's dream. She was amazed that this was considered a small selection.

Lorelai gasped, gently handling some of the necklaces, “Wow, these are so beautiful!” She gawked, holding one of the pendants of a necklace in her hand. 

Suzy smiled, “Pick something, anything you’d like. You said earlier that you didn’t have any jewelry and that just won’t do. I want you to pick out something, any piece you want.” 

Her hazel eyes widened, “Don’t pull my leg like that,” she crumpled up, her hands instinctively rubbing her elbows. A sudden wave of nervousness washed over her, her cheeks feeling hot and her chest tightening. Even her ears seemed a bit too warm. 

“I am serious!” Suzy smiled, cupping Lorelai’s cheeks with her soft hands, “We cannot debate this, if you hang out with me, you have to expect more things in your wardrobe! That’s just a part of the terms and conditions! Believe me, the first chance I get we’re going on a fashion trip!” She talked in the manner of a young girl, practically bouncing at each word. There was a comforting tune in her voice, which already had the qualities of a mousey symphony. 

“... A-are you sure?” 

Suzy’s eyes widened, “Yes! Anything that makes you feel pretty!” 

Lorelai looked at the racks, her eyes glazing back and forth. Though, a pearl choker caught her eye. It was beautiful, with cream pearls stringing around the base. Thin gold chains hung and looped around. Pearls hung from the chains, and right in the center, hanging from a small gold loop, was a sun pendant. “Wh-what about this one?” 

Suzy gently grabbed it, opening it up, “Pull your hair back! Let’s try it on.”

Suzy strung the choker around Lorelai’s neck, clasping the item closed. It was a little loose on her neck, but still hung. Lorelai couldn’t help but feel so eloquent in the item, gently feeling over the smooth pearls. “It-it’s really pretty…”

“I think it suits you. Look how the gold makes your eyes shine.” She whispered quietly, the two of them looking up at the mirror placed slightly above the rack. Suzy was right, the golden flecks in her eyes seemed just a little more bright against her hollowed eyes. “Do you like it?” 

“I love it.” She gently stroked the skin of her neck, feeling over the jewels until she found the small price tag attached to the pearls. She glanced down and turned to face it. “$24.00. I can’t…”

But Suzy was quick, “Shhhh! Nonsense! If that's the one you want, that is the one you get!”

“I-its so expensive though, Suzy-”

“No! Stop it! Shh!” She comically ‘booped’ Lorelai’s nose, unclasping the necklace and carefully taking it into her hands, “It’s perfectly fine! And here, to prove it!” Suzy made a scrunched up face at Lorelai, before gently grabbing the matching earrings, “You’ll need these! Having matching sets is absolutely a staple in a wardrobe.” She smiled, leading Lorelai back to the counter where Arin resided. 

Arin chuckled, “I see she has decided you’re her new model? You’ll get used to it. You should see what she puts me in.” Arin joked, nudging Lorelai’s shoulder with his own. “You’ve got good taste though, kid. It suits you.”

“Do you think so?” She tensed a bit, glancing back as Suzy paid for it. 

Arin smiled, “Well, you bear a striking resemblance to the sun in our eyes.” 

Lorelai’s heart warmed. His words were genuine, their actions genuine. No one had complimented her in such a way before. Sure, she had heard the typical ‘you’re so smart’s, ‘you’re so brave’s, ‘you’re cute’s, but never something like that. She felt the complement nestle its way into her brain, and she didn’t fight it. 

“Thank you…Thank you so much.” Lorelai pleaded as Suzy clasped on the necklace back onto Lorelai’s neck. 

“Hold onto the earrings for now. We’ll get your ears pierced soon!” Suzy smiled, grasping Lorelai into one of her signature tight hugs. “You look absolutely beautiful! We simply must take a picture!” 

With a swift step, Suzy brought Arin and Lorelai over to the red velvet couch. The three of them sat down, Lorelai smushed in the middle between Suzy and Arin. Arin giggled, “See, now your modelhood is cemented. Get used to the selfies-” Arin whispered before giggling, “You need me to scoot over?”

Lorelai smiled, “Not at all.” 

Suzy grinned, “Okay, ready guys? Cheeeeeeese!”

The three of them smiled at the phone camera, Lorelai too shy to bear her teeth like Suzy and Arin. She didn’t notice how mousy it made her look, a smushed smile that made her thin cheeks seem just a little fuller. It worked out…her heart also felt a little more fuller.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Lorelai!” Martinez’s voice snapped her out of her mind, her hand instantly going to her neck. The pearls remained strung on her neck, smooth as ever. “Honey, are you okay?”

Lorelai glanced up at Martinez, then down at the phone in her hand. The phone had shut off, conveniently hiding the image from everyone else. Her admiration still remained hidden. The teen shook her head, “Y-yes, yes I am fine. I’m good. What’s wrong?”

Martinez sighed, sitting on the chair beside Lorelai’s. “So, Lorelai, as you may or may not have heard…" there was a long pause, "we’re going to be rehoming you…”

“W-where will I go?-” She instantly began to panic again, stiffening and feeling her ears go hot. “I-I haven’t even been here that long! I haven’t done anything wrong!” 

“I know, I know, shhh,” Martinez swooped her up into a gentle embrace, rubbing her head, “ You won’t be going to Merwether’s much longer," a pang in Lorelai's heart, change was still painful, "…Look, we’ve come to the agreement you’ll be going with the Hanson’s a little early, that’s all. Nothing bad. It was only a matter of time, anyway!”

With the mention of the Hansons, Lorelai found something else residing within her. The anxiety and intensity, but also her heart seemed to warm. Something about seeing Suzy and Arin made her a little less choked up, a little less tense. “W-will they want that?”

“I already called them. They’ve agreed. Some things won’t be ready like we had hoped, but it's going to be okay.” Lorelai separated herself from Martinez, standing up with her arms pressed against her sides. “Collect your stuff.”

Chapter Text

November 20th, 2014

10:30 A.M

Arin paced back and forth in the Grumps office, his face flushed with stressed sweat. His burly frame stomped about, his mind racing with a checklist he hadn’t shared with anyone yet. Okay, the furniture in the guest room needs to be built, I’ve got to buy an extra ticket for thanksgiving, we have to buy party stuff because we have to celebrate her right? What’s she need? Clothes. We don’t know her size- Stuff for her room, okay that can be done later--

“You keep pacing like that and we’re gonna need a new floor, Arin-” A smug Australian voice rang out, snapping Arin out of his trance, “We just put hardwood over the concrete--”

“Scuse me?” Arin looked at him, eyes wider than he intended, voice a little more snappy than he realized. 

Ross leaned back a bit, putting his hands up in mock surrender, “Woah, woah! My bad! I said you keep pacing like that an--”

“N-no no, ugh, sorry just…You need something?”

Ross kept his hands up, “Well, if I did, I forgot. What’s up with you anyway? You look like a sweaty ghost.” 

Arin frowned, taking a defeated seat in the closest chair, running a hand through his hair, “I just…I got a call, the kid we’re trying to adopt, right?”

“Go onnnn?”

“She’s coming, wayyy earlier than expected. I guess the emergency housing just can’t keep her anymore. I’m just trying to figure out how to set everything up in what…few hours?”

“Arin-- You have an office full of people who have already decided they’re going to be the best set of uncles you could possibly want for your child, and you still insist on doing everything by yourself? Come on, dude! Just gather everyone out and start, fuckin’ task managing! You’re good at that!” 

Arin looked at the man, a frown on his face, but Ross continued, “Okay, okay, you’re not the strongest in that, but we’re here to help! Ugh, here! Hold on!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon enough, everyone was gathered around Arin, all muttering amongst themselves. The only one who seemed just as, if not more, worried than Arin, was Suzy. Though, becoming a mother was never considered an easy thing. She stood alongside Arin, and even though worry was plastered on her face, she was making an effort to have some semblance of stability. “Alright, we’ve got a list of things we need to make happen byyyyy…2:30!”

“Well, what’s the list?” Danny asked, perched in a spinny chair, smiling brightly. 

“We wanted to throw a small party just to make her feel more welcome, so we need supplies for that. We also may need some emergency clothes for her, the social worker made it sound like she doesn’t have all that much. We also need food for this party and for her since she’s probably going to be starving. I figured teams would make this work?” Suzy explained, hands on her hips, an overwhelmed gleam in her eye. 

Dan spoke up, “And what do you guys have now?” 

“Well, we got her a self care basket, so she’s got some hygiene stuff…Uhm, the furniture in the guest room needs to be built. W-We’ll give her the bigger room, but both are unfurnished since you guys seem to prefer sleeping downstairs. We don’t have any of the party supplies, though it doesn’t need to be much. I mean, we just..didn’t want her to feel forced here, it sounds like her other homes weren’t all that up to par.

“Well, Matt and I can build the furniture, it won’t be that hard for us.” Ryan offered, Matt nodding along rather eagerly. They were still pretty new to the team, but they had known the group for quite some time. Even those two knew how important this was to Arin and Suzy. 

Danny smiled, “Okay, that’s furniture taken care of. I can take over food with Arin, a drive’ll clear your head.”

“I’ll help with clothes, Suze, I’ve got a discount at the mall down there.” Brian offered, already readying up his keys. 

Ross raised a brow, “Wait, how do you of all people have a discount?”

“The less you all know, the better. What about you and Barry, Ross?”

Barry perked up from his desk, “Uhh, we can take party supplies..!” 

“Yeah! Psh, it’ll be awesome- You can trust us!”

Arin nodded his head, the muscles of his face slowly relaxing as the tasks in front of him seemed to be less daunting and more reasonable, “Okay, okay, yeah! Uhm, I can get her ticket later tonight. Okay, alright, we can do this!”

“Soooo,” Matt said, “What are we waiting for?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11:30 A.M. 

Ross and Barry stood in the center of the surprisingly large Party City, people with shopping carts bumping past them. There was some kitsch Billboard Pop 100 hit playing over the crummy speakers, a kid crying in a random aisle, and the sound of carts riding over sticky floors. Ross held their cart close like a man on a mission, reading each small sign quietly too himself, “Y’know Barry, they don’t have a ‘Fostering’ section in the party aisle.” 

“No shit, Ross-” Barry looked back at him, scratching his beard. He was told the very basics by Arin and Suzy: her favorite colors were orange and pink and she isn’t allergic to latex. 

Really helpful, guys. Really helpful.

"How the fuck does one celebrate fosterin’ anyway?"

Barry pondered for a moment, continuing to scratch his beard and examine each sign. He looked out of place amongst all the loud party stuff, his beanie making him look more like a loose stoner rather than someone planning a celebration, "Well...It's kind of like bringin' home a baby? Only you didn’t, y’know, create it I guess...Th-that sounds wrong…”

But Ross’s eyes widened delightfully, a big grin on his face forming, “Barry Kramer, you are a GENIUS! Hurry up!!!”

"Do they even have that stuff here?!" Barry was quick to rush after Ross as he made a bee-line towards the maternity section of the store, "I mean, sure, but it's probably got pacifiers and baby-bottles or something! Even if I was a traumatized kid, I don't know if I'd want that-!" Barry quickly realized that Ross was, in fact, not listening to a single thing he said, "Goddammit Ross-!"

"Course they have that stuff here, it’s Party City! Besides, I ain't gonna get her that cheesy stuff! Who do you take me for?!!" 

“An ass-!” Barry retorted, but Ross had stopped. The man crashed into Ross with a “ oomph ”.

"Ouch- Jeez dude, relax!" Ross shook his head, steading Barry with his hand. "Now help me look! Pink and orange will be the theme! Do they sell balloon pumps here?"

Barry rolled his eyes, "What kind of question is that-!"

"I seem to remember you being the one to ask, 'Do tHEYy sEll BabY stUFF hErE!!!'" Ross mocked, smiling before turning back to the shelves. He glossed through the selections, before snickering to himself. "This is the one, Barry!"

He pulled it out. Pushed far into the back was a bright pink banner. "IT'S A GIRL!" was transcribed in pink letters. On each side, there was a photo of a realistic baby girl smiling alongside a stork. It seemed almost like an accidental shitpost the more Barry stared at it.

"The stork might be too babyish, Ross..."

"Nonsense! Storks can bring foster kids too, Barry! Don’t discriminate!!" Ross insisted, throwing the banner into the basket. They were off again, grabbing pink and orange balloons, streamers, plates, everything one needed for a party.

Soon, Ross was stopped dead in his tracks, a wide selection of shiny plastic crowns seemingly illuminating to the two boys. It was like a siren’s song of cheesy horror. “..Does she need a crown?" Ross asked, watching Barry carefully study the options.

“I mean, every girl I went to a party for all had crowns on their heads. The bigger ones seemed to be all the rage..!” Barry couldn’t help but smile, looking at the terrible influence before him.

Ross raised an eyebrow, "What about one that flash lights? Do they have that?"

“Only one way to find out..!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12:45 P.M

Suzy and Brian sat at the benches by the food court, looking over at the things they had bought. Suzy had picked out three outfits, something that would keep her warm but not too warm. Los Angeles was never too cold, and in a few days, they’d be in Florida, where cold isn’t a word in their vocabulary. 

Brian had picked out a few books, something nice for the kid to do if she wanted to be alone. Afterall, no child in his care wouldn’t be a reader. He had picked out a few of the quintessential classics: The Hobbit, The Last Unicorn, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Mistborn, Cinder. Two of arguably the best genres, if the girl had a good head on her shoulders, she’d greatly enjoy them.

But, Suzy still looked so worried. It didn’t even seem like even the presence of good literature seemed to comfort her. “Suzy, talk to me, what’s going on in that head of yours..?” 

“I’m just worried. It isn’t that serious.” Suzy gave a worried smile, her hand gently rubbing over one of the shirts she picked out for the girl.

“Talking about it is going to make things at least a little better.” Brian insisted, putting an arm over Suzy and pulling her a little closer, “You and I both know what happens when you bottle things up.” 

She shook her head, knowing he was right. “I’m just worried that I won’t be a good mom. I mean, it isn’t even like this is a normal baby. This is a baby with, y’know, more needs and more problems. What if I can’t help her?”

“Well, being concerned is the first good sign--”

“Brian,” She sighed, “Don’t pull my leg! I’m serious!”

But Brian smiled, “No, no, seriously! People who are bad parents don’t spend their time thinking about how they’re bad parents. Asshols like that think about their own self-serving interests! You are self aware enough to be concerned about your efforts, and you’re self aware enough to always put your best foot forward. I’m not saying you won’t make mistakes, because you and all of us will, but then you correct the behavior and move on.”

Suzy listened closely, her head on his shoulder. Brian continued, “And she’ll get hurt, and she might not listen to you, hell, there may even be things outside of everyone’s control, but it’ll be okay. You’ll be great. Given what I know about her situation, from what you've told me...I think it'll be definitely hard. You will have a support system though, and I really, really, really encourage you to use your support system. Danny and I are more than happy to help you with everything. We've never had a teenager, and we were teenagers, what, wayyyy too long ago? But, we can still help. And so can everyone else!"

Suzy took a moment to think about it, letting herself smile softly, “That adds another benefit to seeing you guys every day…”

"I’ll be here all week, Suze.”

Chapter Text

November 21st, 2014
2:50 P.M

It was only a few hours later when Lorelai found herself standing outside the Hanson home, a much nicer roller-suitcase replacing the worn out trash bags she had once used to carry her belongings. Martinez had bought it with her own money, which Lorelai was actively trying to ignore in order to not have guilt bubbling in her throat. Then again, that guilt was already in her throat. After all, wasn’t she barging in their space when they weren’t prepared? The paperwork hadn’t even fully been processed despite being labeled as an “emergency” situation, did she have any right to their space? 

But as she kept trying to remind herself, quotes from the long speech given during the even longer drive with Martinez, “ They are more than happy to have you sooner than later. You know, when you’re not visiting them, they contact me to ask about you all the time! Give them a chance, Lori, it is going to be okay.” 

Lorelai had been in their house before, less times than fingers on her hand, but this was different. This was making everything real , she couldn’t run away from it now. And that conflicted her. It wasn’t like she wanted to run away, but then again…

The door gently opened up, the sounds of soft music emulating from the living room. There appeared to be voices, more than just Arin and Suzy. And, it couldn’t be Arin in the background considering the big man was standing right in front of them, a rather sympathetic smile on his face, “Hey guys..! A-are you okay, Kid?” 

Lorelai blinked wildly a few times, shaking her head, “Y-yeah, yeah, just uh…sorry, guess I was just in my own head.” She frowned, though she quickly replaced it with the best smile her nervous lips could portray, which looked more like a toothy grimace than an actual smile. 

Arin couldn’t help but awkwardly chuckle, “Well, uhm…” He glanced up at Martinez, her face stoic as she held a binder in her arm, “Come in! Come in! I-I hope you, uh, don’t mind but we-we threw together a little party for you! Figured you needed a good welcome to the family, right?” 

Lorelai’s face couldn’t resist an even more contorted level of concern, though Martinez quickly spoke up, “That sounds wonderful! A good thing on an otherwise stressful day, right, Lorelai?” 

“Uh-uhm…Yeah! Yeah, sure…Uhm…thank you!” Her smile grew more wiggly, Arin forcing his own awkward smile. The tension was quickly becoming ridiculous.

“Here! Why don’t we put your stuff upstairs? We’ve got a few guest rooms upstairs, though between you an’ me, the one facing the backyard is the much bigger one.” He awkwardly winked, the black shirt he wore tight as he propped the door open. He had mentioned briefly to her that he had really gotten into boxing during one of her visits, but she never really thought about it until he was looming over the door like he was some kind of club bouncer. 

But she nodded along, gently bringing in the suitcase and stepping out of the way. She could briefly see what appeared to be a party through the small hallway, a few balloons streamed about and people talking. She made eye contact with someone, a curly haired man, who offered a big smile and a wave. Her hand gently went up, her fingers wiggling, but before she could inquire further, Suzy came into her line of sight. The woman beamed happily, practically floating to the door with how fast her legs were carrying her, “Oh, Lorelai! Lorelai! Oh honey, welcome! I’m so excited you’re here-!” Suzy wrapped her in a tight embrace, the smell of her perfume a sweet, powdery lavender smell. Lorelai had gotten used to Suzy’s excitement, so she didn’t entirely mind the swaying hug she had found herself trapped in. 

“Mr. Hanson, I do have some things to give to you, if you wouldn’t mind-” Martinez cut in, Suzy perking her head as Arin closed the door.

Arin nodded, “Yeah, here, come have a seat, I take it those are her files? Medical stuff?” Arin smiled, the social worker simply nodding and following his lead. Of course, Lorelai knew Martinez was never going to say no to observing the people in the Hanson house…

The conversation slowly drowned out as Suzy beamed at Lorelai, “Well, I’m more than happy to take you to your room! I’m sure Arin’s already tried to sell you on the back one?” She smiled, beginning to lead the way up the stairs. With thin arms, Lorelai hoisted the suitcase, beginning her descent upwards. 

“Hope you don’t mind that we threw you a party! We tend to host those a lot, but, for someone as special as you, it only seemed fitting! We, uhm, were planning to have one for a while but, hey, sooners sometimes better than later, right!” Suzy spoke, though then she quickly realized, “Oh gosh, are you comfortable with all of this! This is so much and I didn’t even think about the social anxiety--” 

Lorelai put her hand up as she made it to the top of the stairs, “No, no, it’s fine, seriously! I-It’s really sweet, don’t worry..!” She gave a weak smile, Suzy helping her with the luggage. Truthfully, Lorelai was anxious about all the people swarming around the house. She was already overwhelmed about the suddenness of her being here, and perhaps all these people in the house made her want to hide away and cry for hours on end, but…she’d tough it out. 

“They really couldn’t wait to see you. They’re the people we work with, the ones on the fireplace mantle, the pictures y’know?” She spoke, leading the girl down the upstairs hallway, “They are quite the eclectic bunch, but I think you’re really going to love them.” 

“Th-thanks, I-I’m sure I will..!”

Suzy grinned, “So, I’ll show you both rooms, and whichever one you want, you can have! Though, we want to make sure your room really feels like your own, so if you want, we can put your things in the room you don’t choose, that way it’s like an empty canvas!” 

“O-Okay, that sounds good. Are you sure? I don’t want to take up two rooms of your house..” 

“Honey, this is your house now, take up as much space as you need!” 

This is your house, now.

It was an odd thing to say, at least in Lorelai’s mind. No house had ever been her own. Most of them never uttered that phrase, and some did but didn’t entirely mean it. They usually said it with the implication that her real parents would return to get her, the gentleness of expecting everything to be temporary charity. And, for all things considered, it usually was. 

As much as Lorelai didn’t want to be a Debbie-Downer…she had a feeling this was going to be temporary too. 

Don’t get attached, but don’t be an asshole. Though, it was hard not to be charmed by Suzy and Arin.

“Soooooo, you like this one..?” Suzy spoke, her eyebrow cocked up with slight concern. While Lorelai was having her inner monologue, she was silently staring at the room. Of course, look like a weirdo, Lorelai. 

She perked up, shaking her head and actually taking in the room. This one faced the back of the house, and Arin was right, it was huge. Least, bigger than any room Lorelai had seen, let alone actually called her own. It had one window where the bed had been set up. There were a few minimalist pictures hung up on the wall depicting various video game objects. There wasn’t a lot of furniture in the room, though, the teen girl in her couldn’t help but slowly think about the opportunities. An accent wall there, maybe a bookshelf, and maybe she could have some posters or knick-knacks around the place…

No, no. Stop it. It isn’t going to last that long anyway.

“Wow…I-I can see why Arin wanted me in this one..!” She gawked, looking back at Suzy, who was already chuckling at her wide eyes. 

“Yeah, he figured you would like having spac--” Before she could finish, there was a loud crash from the guest room, the sound of a wild, hyena-like laugh echoing from the closed door. Lorelai stared at the door, wide eyed like a deer in headlights. Suzy sighed softly, “I…I think I know who that may be…” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:55 P.M

Dan had watched Arin lead the social worker into the living room, Arin’s office just off to the left. He sat there in the open dining room, a can of Coke in his hand as he watched the two. Barry, Ross, and Brian also sat at the table, Brian stiffening up his posture as if he remembered what a theoretical-physicist was supposed to look like. 

“Ms. Martinez, these are our friends, well, more like family but--y'know!” Arin blabbered slightly, his cheeks slowly pinkening with embarrassment. “This is Dan, Ross, Brian, and Barry! Uh, lovely people, known ‘em for years!” 

“That’s all you have to say about us? Known us for years, Arin?” Ross couldn’t help but tease, being the first to smugly slither out of his seat and extend his hand to Ms. Martinez. “Ross O’Donovan, happy to meet you!”

The social worker took his hand, shook firmly, and shook Brian’s as well, “Brian Wecht, Theoretical Physicist and Musician, pleasure to make you my acquaintance.” He spoke firmly, though the subtle brag of his former work made Ross give an exaggerated eye-roll. 

“He’s a retired Physicist! Brian, don’t lie to social workers!” Ross shook his head, earning a reserved sigh from Brian. 

“And he’s an idiot. Apologies, ma’am.” 

Martinez couldn’t help but smirk ever so slightly, “Duly noted. And you two are?”

“U-uh, Barry…! Uhm, Hi!” Barry awkwardly pointed his cup upward at her. He seemed to lack the typical stoner look he carried, his eyes a little wider and his back ever-the-more straight.

Danny allowed himself to stand up and take her hand, “Leigh Avidan, uhm, I believe we spoke on the phone a few weeks ago as a point of reference for Arin and Suze?” 

At the reminder, Martinez nodded, “I do recall, yes. Well, uhm, I wouldn’t want to intrude for long but I did want to make sure you received these, Mr. Hanson.” She turned to the bigger man, handing him the binder she had nestled under her arm. Despite the tenseness of her body language, there seemed to be…almost a sadness behind it. 

Arin smiled as Martinez explained, “The usual records. Medical, dental, educational, social security, birth certificate, couple of childhood photos. There’s usually a longer process to give you access to these but…” she looked like she was going to say more, but she held her tongue. 

Ross chipped up, “But..?” 

For once, Dan couldn’t blame Ross for poking, for he, too, was curious about the hesitation in her voice. Martinez narrowed her eyes at Ross, “But, I pulled a few strings and I am.. very hopeful about this arrangement.” 

“Good! I-I mean, thank you! I, uh, awesome!” Arin beamed awkwardly, looking down at the binder. He flicked it open, his eyes skimming the first folder that had been filled with what little childhood images there were of Lorelai. He carefully took one out, examining it as he spoke, “Thank you, seriously! We’re more than happy to have her! I-I think this is gonna be…really nice… …” 

Dan could see it in Arin’s eyes as he fully took in the picture. From the way the light was shimmering, he could see a bit of the ink from the back of the photo. It was vaguely shaped like a toddler with a great deal of hair, though that was only an educated guess based on Arin’s face. He hadn’t ever quite seen his friend like that, a watery look in his eyes. 

He wasn’t just looking at a picture of a cute toddler, but rather, a picture of his future daughter. He was thinking about a younger version of himself; how would that young man have dealt with a toddler? How would that young man have balanced work and passions with a little girl who needed him? Would she have been an easy child, a difficult one? He was thinking if he would’ve been a good father…

And currently, he was thinking about whether he could be a good one now.

“Well, good to know Lorelai won’t be alone in her spacing out habit…” Martinez spoke, earning a chuckle from the men at the table. 

Dan couldn’t help but smirk slightly as Arin lifted his eyes, a rather clueless look on his face, “I think she’ll fit right in here!” He spoke up, watching as Arin awkwardly closed the binder, taking a few steps into his office to set the binder down. “Soooo, Ms…Martinez, do you want a soda or something?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:55 P.M

Lorelai stared at the two men on the floor, surrounded by a pile of differing IKEA furniture pieces. The room seemed like partially a disaster, as if the two men had been tasked with fixing up the room as quickly as possible before she showed up. The teen frowned at the sight, the men arguing amongst themselves. 

“I told you we shouldn’t have dumped all the pieces out, jackass!” A larger, dark-haired haired man spoke, brows furrowed in what was obvious disapproval. He wore grey camo shorts and a black tank, a sweatshirt that was clearly discarded in the corner. 

The second man, a scrawny, blocky boy, was hunched over two wooden pieces, forcefully popping them together. “Dude, I got it! It’s IKEA furniture, not fuckin’-- fuckin’, uh, I dunno!” He seemed overwhelmed, grabbing a second small structure and connecting the two pieces into what appeared to be a small nightstand. 

“That’s not where that goes!” The dark-haired man was about to go on a Swedish-Furniture-Based-Rant until he finally realized the door was open, his head whipping up to see the girl within the doorframe, holding her luggage close to her frame, staring at the two with wide, tired eyes. “Heyyyyyy! You..you must be Lorelai! We’ve heard so much about you!”

Before Lorelai could respond, Suzy stepped in, taking over the talking part, “Yes! Yes, this is Lorelai! These are our friends, Matt and Ryan! What has Arin got you two into this time?” 

Matt looked up from his pieces, glancing at Lorelai, then back at Suzy, “He asked us to help build this last little thing for the room, its--its a nightstand.” 

“I-I-IT’s a NIghTstAAnD!!!” Ryan mocked, “This dipshit thought it was a smart idea to pour out all the pieces! Look where that got us!”

“Watch your mouth! She’s twelve, asshole!” Matt chirped back, his lanky arm smacking Ryan’s bicep. Ryan retaliated with a smack to Matt’s hand, needless gibberish escaping their mouths. They were like two young boys squabbling over childish mistakes. 

Lorelai watched them for a few moments, her eyebrows furrowed to a mixture of over-wealmth and concern, “Uhm..I-I’m actually fourteen..?” 

The two stopped squabbling, Lorelai continuing rather quietly, her cheeks a little pink from all the chaos, “I-I look twelve?...I-Is that a good thing?” 

Suzy gave her a sympathetic smile, putting a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder, “Well, most girls do like being told they’re younger than they actually are? You’re a little short for your age…and skinny. But hey, I’m sure that’s gonna change with how much we all love food--”

“Besides, Matt still sounds twelve! He’s just mad he looks forty-five!” Ryan gave Matt a playful push, who hit him weakly with his hand again. 

Matt furrowed his brows, “This isn’t about me, asshole! Anyway, Lorelai, welcome! Sorry you have to meet us in the middle of this-” He stood up, the lanky frame making his figure seem so much taller and foreboding than perhaps he really was, “You know how Ikea furniture is, extra pieces.” He held out his hand close to his chest. 

She smacked her hand against his, the loud clap starling her a little bit, “Uh..yeah!” She had no idea what Ikea furniture really was. Though, what surprised her more was Matt pulling her hand close, a lanky arm giving her back a few friendly, lanky smacks.

“Good to meet you! We, uh, work with your mom and dad--”

“MATT!” Ryan stood up, “We work with Arin and Suzy , so we’ll be seeing you a lot! That’s what he meant to say-- It’s awesome to meet you!” Ryan ended up doing the same gesture, his grip much more mushy than Matt’s bony hands. Lorelai had seen kids at her school do a very similar motion to greet one another, usually the boys. Though, she was never the recipient until now. Zero to two! Wow!

“Yeah, yeah it really is!” Matt chirped, almost like a bird.

Suzy smiled softly, “Well, why don’t you two head downstairs. I’ll have Arin finish all of this later. Danny made punch, so help yourselves!” The two boys grinned, almost like teenagers, nodding their heads and beginning to make their way out. Lorelai could’ve sworn she heard Matt chirp, “All right, punch!” along with a hyena laugh from Ryan. 

Suzy must’ve seen the concerned look plastered on the girl’s face, a soft smile etching, “Why don’t you stay up here for a few minutes, take a couple of breaths? These people, they’re sweet, really really sweet but they can be a lot! Y’know, like a band of misfits! It’s what makes them so awesome!” She rambled a little bit, but then she grinned even harder, “Take a moment to regulate and come down when you’re ready! They’ll be excited, I promise, they’ve been talking about you for a while-”

“G-good things?”

“All good things! I mean, they were able to set all this up in just a few hours, they adore you already!” Suzy smiled. “Come down when you’re ready! I’ll give you some privacy!” 

With that, Suzy gave the girl’s shoulder a squeeze, soon letting go and making her way out of the room. Lorelai let the door gently close behind her, sitting down on the floor and sighing softly. There was a tenseness in her shoulders, her heart pounding fast especially when she realized it. This was all so much, everything so new, so loud, so bright, so scented. Everything seemed so nice, she felt like just being here was going to taint everything and make it gross. 

The girl hugged her knees, a bony hand running through her curls. Her fingertips were trembling, sweat creeping on the back of her neck. There was a thick fog setting in, as if the room was beginning to shrink around her. This wasn’t going to go well, this wasn’t going to last-- they never last! And the worst part was, Lorelai figured, it wouldn’t even be the fault of Arin nor Suzy why this wouldn’t work! It would be all her’s!

Her chest felt like it was being clawed at, hot lines dragging on the inside of her chest right behind her ribcage. She was an unlovable child, it’s why she kept coming right back to foster care, why she kept hopping from place to place. It’s why her own father gave up on her. The room was closing in tightly. 

She could see his face. His rage induced bulging eyes, his messy brown hair, the redness of his face, the spit flying out of his mouth. She felt like her body was being crushed. In fact, no matter where she was, or what she was doing, she could --- 

“Mrooooowwwww..” 

Lorelai lifted her tear stained eyes, blinking a few times as she gasped for ragged breath. Right under the bed, near the pile of unconstructed wood, was a cloud-like creature. White fluff with grey stripes, big eyes that seemingly didn’t have much thought within them. Lorelai stared back at the cat, who was already loudly purring for being so much as looked at. 

“Mrooooww! Mrowww!” The cat slowly pushed itself from under the bed, its fur pressing flat before quickly fluffing up. The cat wasn’t all that big, with stubby legs and a big head. The cat began to waddle over, little chips and purrs emitting as she quickly made her way to sniff Lorelai’s soppy face. 

“H-Hi, Kitty. Wh-which one are you?” Lorelai asked no one, watching as the cat began to lick the tears from her cheeks. “I-I’m not sh-sure if you’re tr-trying to be nice or if you enjoy m-m-my sadness…” She mumbled, staying still. 

The cat then purred, rubbing her fuzzy head on Lorelai’s face, tail flickering as she continued to nuzzle against the girl, as if trying to push her hands away. Lorelai slowly let go of her knees, leaning against the wall. The cat chirped, crawling into her lap, nuzzling against her chest. The cat only really wanted one thing: to be scratched and adored. Nothing mattered outside of the fact that Lorelai had two hands, for those were two hands that could be used for scratches behind the ear and butt pats. 

“Mrooowwww!” She demanded, purring loudly as Lorelai slowly began to pet down the cat’s back. The fur was soft, gentle and inviting. Perhaps this was cat magic, but maybe that magic made it easier for Lorelai to feel a little normal again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3:23 P.M

Everyone was downstairs, quietly talking and occasionally chuckling, though the entire room was mostly focused on the stairs. Even Martinez, who should’ve left straight away after handing the important documents to Arin, lagged there, quietly worrying about the lack of Lorelai. 

Matt was leaning against the bar of the kitchen, gently drinking from his RedBull, “Shit man, I hope I didn’t freak her out or anything.” He looked over at the stairs again, grimacing, “She just, y’know, looked so panicked!”

Brian looked over at the two younger men, “It’s most likely not you guys. I mean, surely, think of it from her perspective! You’re thrown into a completely new place filled with people you don’t know, expected to just be okay with it! It’s overwhelming and it’s a lot! I’d hide away, too.”

“Well, we’ll help her together! She sounds like a good kid!” Barry smiled softly. 

Ross teased, “Yeah, go team!” 

Though, before anyone could say any more, there were steps from the stairs, small thuds echoing from the stairwell, loud purring following suit. Lorelai was coming down, the cat still tucked into her arms like a baby. She had changed into something more comfortable, her nicest pair of jeans and one of the only “nice” tops she owned that wasn’t a t-shirt, a mint-colored blouse with loose sleeves. She peaked out, her eyes showcasing her fear with the people around. But, nevertheless, she made it down all the way. 

“uhm…I-I found your cat…This one is Mimi, right?” Lorelai spoke up, clearly nervous now that there were seemingly more people than she initially thought. The party was cute, some orange and pink balloons strung about the home. Streamers were draped on the doorways, gentle music playing in the background. The kitchen counters had plenty of food set up, Chinese take out food that wafted into her nose and smelt pretty damn good. 

Suzy was the first to usher her way over, enveloping Lorelai and Mimi into a hug, “It seems she already just adores you! I’m sure that’s probably why you were stuck up there, she has a way of trapping people.” 

Lorelai didn’t battle the hug, Mimi letting out a chirp once again, “U-uhm, yeah, she’s a real trickster…” Good, that would make things so much easier if they just believed that. 

“Well, good! She and Mochi will probably take over your room, they’re bratty like that.” She then leaned in close, whispering, “And don’t be worried about any of these people, they’re so wonderful. They also get paid to be stupid, so don’t be embarrassed!” Suzy leaned back, grinning brightly before leading the girl closer to the group. 

Arin grinned, meeting them halfway and giving the girl a reaffirming pat on the shoulder, “Guys, this is Lorelai! Lorelai, this is…the guys-- Wait, Ross, what is fu--heck is that banner up there?”

The three looked up. Attached to the ceiling, bowing down and fluttering from the breeze, was a bright pink banner. What was clearly supposed to say ‘it’s a girl’ was crossed out, replaced with, “ WELCOME LORELAI! ” A creepy stock image of a baby and a stork was on the ends, clearly supposed to represent a baby girl. 

“You didn’t notice that?! And woah, woah!!! Blame me, it was Barry’s idea!” Ross spoke up, a hand pointing at Barry accusatory. 

Barry shrugged his shoulders, “Ross was the one who wrote it, I suggested we didn’t get the baby banner-” 

Another man, an older gentleman with the beginnings of salt-and-pepper hair, pinched the bridge of his nose, “Allow me to show these animals how to introduce themselves--”

“Oh here we go again! We already did this with her--” Ross gestured to Martinez. She furrowed her brow ever so slightly, but stayed quiet. 

The older man made his way forward, broad and strong looking. He extended his square hand, Lorelai gently taking it. He had the calluses of a musician, a professional grip, “I’m Brian, I’ve heard nothing but fantastic things about you! I heard you also dabble in music?” 

“Woah, music? Fuck yeah! O-oh, I mean, uh, heck yeahhh…” A curly haired man grinned, looking back over at the social worker. 

“You guys can swear, that’s not going to make anything change…” Martinez seemed unimpressed by their attempts to censor themselves, “Speak how you normally speak.”

Lorelai finally answered Brian, voice shaky and nervous, “U-Uhm, yeah. I-I mean, nothing serious, least since my last place.”

“Oh, she’s a fabulous singer, don’t let her lie.” Martinez spoke up, Lorelai’s cheeks getting red from all the focus being centered on her. 

The curly haired man smiled, standing up to shake her hand, “Don’t worry, we won’t have you sing, unless you’re into that. I’m Danny, and I also happen to really enjoy a good song now and then!”

“Yeah, a little. We’re in a band, we’ll have you come down and check it out if you want!” Brian offered.

Lorelai dipped her head, “W-well, pleasure to meet you guys--”

Before she could continue, before she could even think, really, Ross spoke up, “Well, I am your favorite uncle, Ross! This is Barry! And I’m going to take the liberty of giving you your first welcoming gift! We handpicked it ourselves!” Ross stood up, waltzing over and plopping down a birthday crown on her head. He ripped the plastic switch off, blue and red lights brightly flashing on her head.

Lorelai couldn’t help but let out an awkward giggle, “W-well, u-uhm, I can’t say I’ve ever been welcomed like this. I’ve had plenty o-of houses, but none really, uhm, did this. Not even the party clown went all out like this. Th-thank you, this is all really nice.” 

“A clown?! People still do that kinda stuff?” The curly haired man, Danny, grinned, “I mean, you have met Ross, so perhaps they do!”

“Hey,” Ross argued back, standing beside Lorelai with crossed arms, “You just don’t appreciate my artistry!-”

“You’re an artist?” Lorelai cocked her head, the crown drooping lopsidedly. She took the crown down, shutting off the low-quality lights Lorelai raised a brow, but just before she could ask more, Arin intervened, “Yeah! I mean, you saw that Suzy makes jewelry. Ross and I animated back in the day!”

“We all make videos, that’s technically a type of art.” Matt added, sitting back, “I also make music…but Barry, he’s not into that-” He smirked. 

Barry scoffed, “Editing is a form of art- Ignore them, Lorelai, what, uh, do you do?” 

“Well, uhm, I really haven’t been able to do much of anything since being homed in the offices… but, uh, I used to draw and paint a lot in school. I sung back when I was fostered by a music teacher…”

Suzy grinned, “Oh my gosh, guys, I have some pictures of her art, you should totally see!” She rushed over, scrolling through her phone. Martinez must’ve sent them over, which only made Lorelai feel more lightheaded, especially when everyone began to gawk and point. 

“We should have her on Doodle Doods! Lorelai, you ever use a tablet before?” Ross looked over, his hand resting on the back of her chair. 

She shook her head, feeling her teeth sink into the skin of her lip. Under the table, her left hand had already spent time picking at her cuticles. Ross continued, “Oh, we’re totally getting her in an episode!”

“When she’s ready.” Arin smiled softly, finally sitting down at the table. Lorelai could see from the corner of her eye Arin’s brown eyes glancing concerningly, soon mouthing, ‘you okay?’ which Lorelai only grimaced in response. 

“Well, this is probably a good time to give you these.” Brian soon interjected, pulling up a small stack of books. “Whenever I, personally, went through difficult changes, or hardships, or truthfully any type of stressor, I found my comfort in literature…Now, I was maybe reading pieces more about, say, science and math and total nerd crap, but I wanted you to also have something to escape into.” 

Lorelai nervously took the stack, her fingers sore. “W-wow. This is really sweet, guys…” She smiled nervously, shuffling through the books. 

“I hear you’re the academic type, so I figured you’d be more of a sci-fi kind of reader rather than something like romance, right?” Brian smiled, “Some of those in there are my personal favorites.”

She shuffled through the titles. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Hobbit, Dune, The Last Unicorn- “Awh man, you’ll love the last unicorn. The movie to that, god, I probably destroyed that VHS tape-!” Dan grinned.

For once, she wasn’t glancing at Martinez every few seconds, smiling as she continued to thank everyone. Though, she had to keep that wall up, enough to protect herself. They all start off nice…

They just never end that way…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:42 P.M

Really, it was more than Lorelai could ever expect. Beautiful clothes that were all hers, books to read, furniture being set up, party decor in her favorite colors. A big part of her was overwhelmed with the joy, the gratefulness she felt. But there was another part of her, one that made her hands clammy, her head overthink, her heart pound. A tightening of her lungs that sent her slipping out of the back door for some fresh air at one point during a game of Fibbage, another exasperatingly new thing Lorelai was introduced to.

She sat on a black garden chair, the sunset painting the sky with sherbert oranges and vivid blues, starry purples washed over it all like a painting. The Hansons had a rather large backyard, with pretty green grass and a paved pool. Lorelai couldn’t believe she now lived in a home with their own pool, it seemed so luxurious. 

Lorelai clutched her arms together, rubbing her thumbs over the skin of her arms. Her shoulders were bony, jutting into an obvious collarbone. Her thoughts wondered about everything. How everyone accepted her despite being a stranger, about their artistic abilities, about Martinez. She didn’t even hear the sliding glass door open and close, nor did she hear Danny sit next to her. 

“Hey, Lorelai, you feelin’ okay?” His smooth voice startled her. She whipped her head over to him, finally catching good luck. She was never the best at the art of eye contact. But Dan was warm enough, she realized. The same deep, untamable curly hair as her, which she could easily sympathize with. His nose was wide, his eyes an almondy droop. A scar in his eyebrow, a dimple on his chin, and free stubble around his face. 

“U-uhm, I suppose.” she tried to force a smile, which only contorted into a straight line. Dan could see her just as clearly as she could see him; hollowed bones, dark circles under her eyes, monolids that held in sweet but dark eyes. The same, untamable curly hair as him. “I-it’s, uh…It’s a lot.”

He smiled and gave a one-laugh through his nose, “Yeah, they definitely can be. I just wanted you to know that, I get it. Being the newcomer and all,” he began, adjusting to relax more in his chair, “I mean, not quite the situation you have, I definitely wasn’t around circus clowns-”

Lorelai gave a quiet chuckle as he continued, “But, being the odd one out is something I very much know. Even with this group, I was kind of the new guy. I know it’s going to sound really corny, and you probably get a speech like this everytime you go somewhere new, but you don’t have to worry about us not liking you or not supporting you. Even if you’re the blackest sheep, we are too. You can’t be an outcast in a group of total outcasts.”

“B-but you don’t even know me. I could be a total freak..” Lorelai mumbled. 

Dan chuckled, “Well, who isn’t a freak? Or a weirdo? Or fuck, a total loser! I mean, the band we mentioned earlier? My entire persona is being a loser!!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! And look, Lorey--can I call you that?-- there’s definitely a difference between being a loser and being a loser,” she raised a brow, and he smiled, “Everyone in that room is a total loser, a nerd. I doubt any one of us were ever the popular, perfect people. But, we all love each other there, we’re a big family. And I know, without a doubt, that they already love you. I mean, hell, before you even showed up, everyone was practically including you in all their plans-” He raised his hand, smiling, “You mind?”

“Sure, Dan…”

He put his hand on her shoulder, “You have so much more choice than I think you even realize, Lorey. We won’t do anything to you without your permission, unless it's surprise parties or getting you things or messing with you,” he chuckled, “We all want you to be a part of our family, our art, our lives.”

Lorelai felt her heart slow down, her lips curl into a smile, “You’re kidding.”

“You seriously don’t believe me? I’ll show you, c’mom.” Dan helped Lorelai up, gesturing to her to follow. He led her down a stone trail in the backyard, up and over to a window of the kitchen that had been propped open to let fresh air. Lorelai felt a bit creepy, but Dan raised his brows. “Listen, you’ve got people in your corner, y’know.”

“but , y-you guys just met me?”

“Why would that stop us?”

Lorelai listened. The group had moved into the living room, but, as she learned quickly, they were quite the loud bunch.

“Oh, we have to take her to the office!” Ross. “The kid’s gonna lose her mind! We can even turn that extra room into her own little spot! I mean, especially if she wants to make content like we do. Even for herself!”

“I gotta get her to draw us something,” Ryan now, “Wouldn’t that look great in the background of a sketch or somethin’?” 

Brian. “ She can play instruments? Arin, I don’t wanna exploit your kid, but maybe she’d have a lot of fun helping us with NSP or StarBomb. I mean, I have a jazz band too if she likes that more!”

Matt. “Yeah, and anytime she’s bored of you guys, Ryan and I can always take her around town. I was a teenager not too long ago, and I’m not afraid to be stupid!”

“Like I am?” Arin. “Oh believe me, I’m not holding back. I’m proud to be nothin’ but shitty dad jokes and cringey quips.”

Suzy. “I can’t wait to see her come out of her shell! I think let's play will really help that. It’s faceless, it’s totally open. Plus, what kid doesn’t want to play video games?”

Dan turned to Lorelai and beamed, “Seeeeee~! Paparazzi, aren’t they. And look, you have more than every right to be afraid, but…all I ask of you is to try not to beat yourself up over anything. Don’t let your fears shut us out, believe me, we’re all kind of stubborn assholes.” He laughed, soon pulling something from his pocket, a small band aid. “For your thumb.”

Lorelai sighed with relief, taking the bandaid. She was still scared, really, she was, but hearing their conversation, seeing how adamant Dan was, made her think. He smiled, “Believe me, Arin’s done more embarrassing things than days you’ve been alive. We play video games for a living, so it’s not like you have to be some super perfect person. Just, be yourself, okay? Promise me, your pseudo-cool uncle!”

“Promise, pseudo-cool…uncle”

He gave an animated thumbs up as she fixed the bandaid on, soon hearing footsteps from behind. “Thinking you could ditch us?” Barry!

Lorelai turned to face Barry, a rush of warm confidence seeping into her head, “Totally! We’re, uhm… planning a heist…!” 

Barry snorted, “Well, I’m sorry to intrude on your newfound crime syndicate, but they don’t wanna start Civic Doodle without you both, Ross is practically screaming about it. Arin looks like he’s one step away from choking him-” His eyes widened at the contortion of Lorelai’s face, “Not literally! I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that! Arin would never hurt someone-!” Seemed Barry was the anxious type too. 

Dan laughed, “Well, come on, Lorelai. Seems like we’re the only ones stopping war, and I think Barry’s handled enough Ross today.” Barry, jokingly, of course, nodded his head. Lorelai giggled, following the two men into the house and to the living room. 

Chapter Text

The smell of mildew and mold was thick, sticky old cans of booze in mountainous piles around the young girl. Old musty clothes were thrown about, everything was caked in a thick yellow film, whether from smoke or dirt or god knows what else. It was disgusting, everything was disgusting, she, herself, was disgusting. There was sticky sweat caked on her forehead, caked on every inch of her body. One scratch of her arm would release little balls of black, dead skin not yet laid to rest. 

“You are just like your FUCKING mother, do you know that?! God, you look like her! You sound like her! You even, you even…” give him a moment, “DOWNPLAY ME, like HER!” 

The voice is booming, raspy, a desperate scream for validation. Her eyes start at his beat up DC shoes, the torn fabric showing a long life of nomadic tendencies. His baggy jeans were gray, covering up holes and track marks, no doubt. They were in the middle of an argument, or rather, in the middle of allowing the older man to scream out his frustrations. The little girl knew all too well, he hadn’t got his fix in a while. If he had his fix, he would’ve held her close as he stood folded, trapping her in an unforgiving grasp. 

She wasn’t quite sure what she would’ve preferred. She really wouldn’t have wanted anything at all. 

“Why couldn’t you have got anything that’s me?! I gave you my NAME, yet you take after the bitch who didn’t want you! I’m the only person who wants you and yet..yet you act like this!”

The little girl didn’t remember what she did, a small detail her brain had blocked out. It would’ve been important to remember that, rather than the sickeningly sweet, lingering smell of his fixes. Better to remember than his face. Maybe if she knew the details of her crime that caused this outburst, she could’ve been a better child. 

“Why are you so much like her?! ANSWER!”

He screams again. He was always screaming, or moaning. The house would be silent when he was gone, but then other problems would arise from that. 

Grease was piled on her hair, the faint smell of ammonia caking in her nose. Her stomach hurt, tight and empty, it’s what made her head feel so light. 

His hands are shaking, the keys to the small house rattling in his fists. She finally speaks, “I don’t know…”

“Of course you don’t! You don’t know anything! You want to know something?!”

He screams again. She doesn’t need to answer, this memory is still so fresh in her mind. She knows exactly how this scene of dramatics plays out. She remembers how to feel about it, how he felt about it. She remembers that this is the day the cuticle picking truly started, serving as the only thing to ground her when things got out of control. She remembers how much her joints ached from the suppressed trembling, how even her teeth burned from the clenching. 

And she remembers how her lack of an answer made the man grab her face, dirty nails digging into her cheeks. Her body gets jerked forward roughly, her toes unable to grasp the sticky floor below her. She was now lifted off the ground, her eyes wide as she stared back at the very same ones. The eyes of her father.

“I am sick of you! I am sick of you walking around here, acting like you own the place! I am sick of you acting like your mother! You are trapping me! You abuse me every day just like she did!! You wanna know something!? I’m freeing myself! You’re the one that’s gonna be trapped! You can’t hurt me anymore!” 

She can’t peel her eyes off of his. Identical hazel eyes, with the same golden flecks and deep ember spots, with the same thick eyelashes. The only difference was the shape. Her almond eyes, a reminder of her mother. He shook her by the head, her underfed limbs dangling underneath her. It felt like an eternity that she was shaken, until he was inevitably thrown to the ground.

Her limbs burst with pain, her cheek rubbed raw by the carpet. She could hear his steps quickening towards the only door. Lorelai wished she didn’t remember her head whipping towards the door as it slammed shut. She wished she didn’t remember the locking sound from the door. Quickly, she raced to her feet, already throbbing with pain as she rushed towards the door. 

There was a pushing sound, something wooden being pushed right up against the door. She would later learn it to be a dresser, a detail she wished she wasn’t told. “You stay there and understand how I feel! I have been trapped ever since she got pregnant with you! Now, you’re trapped! Hahaha! You will learn how I feel! You’ll understand me! I want you to be empathetic!!” 

Her nails went against the door, beginning to scratch. Sobs began to choke her throat, her heart pounding against her little chest. Her nails continued to scratch and bang at the door. “No! No, no! Please! I won’t hurt you anymore! I’m sorry!” Her sobs were met with nothing, the noises of shuffling dampened by the loud clawing. If only she could forget such a night…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

November 22nd, 2014

7:06 A.M

“Lorelai!” 

The sounds of a man’s desperate pleas made Lorelai’s eyes shoot open, her hands darting wildly. She could feel one of them accidentally collide with skin in a loud snap, further pushing tears out of her eyes. Everything was a whirlwind, the room spinning around her as she threw her body upward, scooting her back close to the wall in one motion. It was the cold wall against her back that made her mind finally wake up. 

Arin held his cheek, yet his eyes were still concerned, fixated upon the girl. He didn’t seem so worried about the cheek his large hand was pressed against. If anything, he seemed scared? It was as if he hadn’t ever seen eyes so glossed with fear, as if, for a moment, he also felt utterly helpless in this situation. Who could really blame him? It wasn’t every day where someone was presented with such a wreck of a child, one who claws at the walls of her bedroom in her sleep until it wakes up the entire house. 

Lorelai stared back at him for a moment, her breath uneasy and desperate as if her body was suffocating itself. It took a couple blinks for the room to finally piece itself together in her mind. She wasn’t locked in that room anymore. No, no, this was a different room, with orange paint splattered on all the walls and a bed pushed against the wall and a nice big window. Far away from the enclosure, a completely different city, different people. The man in front of her wasn’t the same man from all those years ago.

And at the realization it wasn’t him…tears began to fall down her face, her hands clasping her mouth.

“Hey, hey, hey..! Lorelai, it’s okay-” Arin’s hands slowly moved to her own, his large palms giving her tight squeeze. His hands were warm against her bony fingers, stern in their grasp, yet not threatening. His soft brown eyes looked at her, not daring to flicker away from her own for a moment. It was as if he could see her heartbeat, fluttering with anxiety and adrenaline in her body.

“I-I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t recognize you at first I-”

Arin gave her hands another reassuring squeeze, “Hey, don’t worry about me…I-I box for fun, it’s nothing, really! Really! Uh, uh-- Are you okay? I-- You were scratching…on the walls? In your sleep?”

Lorelai trembled, glancing over to the wall. There weren’t any marks left behind, but the mental image made her nauseous. She remembered how that bedroom door looked by the time someone found her, she didn’t want to do that to the wall, didn’t want to relive that moment any more than she already did. “I-...I’m so sorry if I woke you-...I was just…having a nightmare, that’s all! I-I’m sorry-” 

Arin’s brows furrowed into even more concern, his lips straightening, “Nightmare? You alright, kiddo?”

“Yeah-Yeah…-” She gently let go of his hands, her breaths still shaky and quick. She threw the blanket off of her, turning so her feet would be touching the ground. Cold sweat caked against her forehead, her curls sticking to her forehead from the loose braid. “I-I hope I didn’t wake you guys…wh-what time is it..?”

“Seven…You didn’t wake us..W-we thought it was the cat at first…” Arin spoke softly, his gaze still watching her carefully, “Do your nightmares happen often, kid?”

Lorelai shook her head, “Yeah…yeah, it’s just, y’know…it’s nothin’ to worry about, I promise…I-I don’t know why I was clawing at the walls…holy shit…” She rubbed her face, her body still trembling. The adrenaline made her stomach churn, her joints ache with a need to move, to get some of that horrible energy out.

“May I ask what exactly you were dreaming about…?” 

“Nothing important…” she quickly responded, looking away from him and down by where her borrowed slippers were. “It..It’s stupid, y’know, like most nightmares…”

Arin sighed softly, “No, it’s not stupid. Nightmares are tough to deal with, regardless of what they’re about. But, they don’t have to be…it’s…it’s a lot easier to deal with when you talk about them…even just a little…” Lorelai didn’t answer as Arin continued, “You don’t have to do anything, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’m here to listen, even if your nightmare is stupid in retrospect! A lot of people think dreams have meaning, even those shitty ones! I once dreamed I was being eaten by a rabid Rayquaza, and while stupid, still made Omega Ruby very hard to play-”

Lorelai couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his story, shaking her head, though she didn’t entirely understand the reference. “O-Oh! Uhm…I h-hope you can conquer that soon…” Her hands were trembling, air feeling scratchy against her throat. She sat back down on the bed, her head still light.

Arin smiled reassuringly, though soon he looked down at her hands. His movements were slow, gentle, his hands soon taking hers. He hadn’t ever really examined her hands besides noticing the few little hangnails. On her fingertips were scars, what appeared to be old cuts of varying deepness. Her knuckles had the same scars, her fingers long and bony. He gently rubbed her clammy, cold hands, taking a few moments before responding, “Yeah, yeah I was able to deal with it in no time, but, uh, can’t help but think about it when I see that stupid lizard face. We’ll get you some Aquaphor, it’ll help with the dry skin. Do you want to try and get some more sleep?”

Lorelai allowed him to gently warm up her hands, shaking her head, “No…no, it’s far too late for me to do that… I-I’ll probably sh-shower, if you don’t mind..”

“Not at all, kid! You have your own bathroom for a reason…” A few more moments of silence before Arin finally let go of her hands, his eyes drowning with concern. “Do you need anything?”

Lorelai shook her head, shakily clutching her clothes before standing up, her thin frame shaking. 

“Say, waffles or pancakes?” Arin called out as he watched her begin to go. 

“What?”

“Waffles or pancakes..?”

“Uhm…” Lorelai wasn’t quite registering the question, “I-I’ve always liked french toast. I-I know that’s not the option, but, uhm…I guess pancakes out of those two?”

Arin smiled, “French Toast it is. That’s the right option, always pick French Toast even if it isn’t stated.” He was standing now, a large frame in the doorway. In comparison, Lorelai seemed like Bambi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7:35 A.M

Lorelai soon came down the stairs, hair bouncing with tight, damp curls. The cold shower had helped settle her emotions, the sticky feeling gone from her body. She had scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, making sure that the feeling of disgustingness couldn’t last. On the plus side, she smelt like watermelons now, and the lotion was soothing against her skin. 

“Mornin’ kiddo!” Arin was plating some French Toast at the counter, the sun making the house beautifully bright and cheery. It was a pretty house now that there wasn’t an army of people inside, framed posters of video games and movies, plants everywhere, pictures of all their friends, “Enjoy your shower?”

Lorelai nodded her head, “Sorry for taking so long.”

“Psh, not at all! It’s a girl’s right to take long showers. Can’t punish you for a good habit!” He put the plate down at the bar, “Made you French Toast, arguably the superior breakfast option. Come on!”

Lorelai made her way over to the bar, awkwardly sitting down at the counter. Her lanky legs gently swung on the chair as Arin happily slid the plate over, “Thank you.”

“Course kid! Figured food would be a good way to start the day, no?”

Lorelai smiled softly, cutting a small bite and popping it into her mouth. It was warm and soft and just the right type of sweet, hints of vanilla offering gentle comforts. “Ugh, th-this is really good..! Wh-what about yourself?”

Arin chuckled again, already having cleaned off the pan, “Already ate! I tend to, y’know, inhale food. Say, there’s two things I have to ask you!”

“I-I’m not in trouble, am I?” Lorelai muttered between bites, bony hand covering her mouth. 

“Psh, no, no. I don’t know if you could manage trouble in the amount of time you’ve been here. Rather, I’ve got two propositions for you, and, uhm.. You can say no! Don’t feel pressured to agree! Suze and I just thought it would be easier for you if, y’know?”

Lorelai blinked at him a few times, her eyebrows furrowing into slight concern, “I’m listening?”

“Number one,” He dramatically put his finger out, eyebrows raised, “We’d like to know if you wouldn’t mind tagging along to our office!” When Lorelai didn’t answer, Arin grimaced, “Too vague-- Look, I run my own, ehh, entertainment business! We play video games, me and the, uh, people you met yesterday!”

Lorelai stared at him for a few moments, “Like a let’s-player?”

“Yeah! Kind of! Pretty much, actually! Though we sometimes treat it more elaborately! Like with Suzy’s show o-or the Ten Minute Power Hour..! Which is, uh, like a show where me and Dan do random stuff? I dunno, that’s hard to explain. Point is, kid,” Arin put his hands up, “We wanted to know if you want to come there each day rather than be alone here.”

Lorelai listened. She knew that driving to Merewether was no longer an option given how far it all was, but in a way she was a little relieved by that. She never thought she really fit in there, a shadow meant to be overlooked. Ahead in all her studies at the cost of not being noticed by teachers. As much as she wouldn’t have minded hiding away all day like a fearful cat, she knew she couldn’t spend her time doing that. “O-okay! I-I wouldn’t mind that..”

“Seriously?”

“U-uh, yeah…D-Did you want me to say no..?”

Arin’s eyes widened, “No! No! Uhm, no, I was hoping you’d say yes, I was just a little surprised! I mean, when I was a teenager, I just wanted to rot in my bed all day! Honest--” He grinned brightly, “I would love to have you, we all would!”

Lorelai gave him a small, sympathetic smile, “O-oh..okay! Uhm, what about the second thing..?”

Arin’s face lit up, reminded of the second, arguably more important part, “Yes! Uhm, well, we weren’t expecting you to come so early, so for the holidays we were…uhm..planning on flying down to Florida to visit some family..! Would you like to come along? We already cleared it with the social worker, but, uh, it’s really up to you! I know you just got here an-and that’s stressful, and then travels really stressful so you don’t---”

The girl gently put her hand up. Whether it was the full belly of delicious food or simply the bright morning sun shining in the room, but she smiled softly, “I-I would love to come, uhm, s-seriously..!” 

Arin’s eyes were still wide, as if he was even more surprised by how accepting Lorelai had been with the options. He soon smiled brightly, “You are going to love Florida!” He finally said after a few moments, “A-and I guess this is the season for meeting your technical grandparents, right?” 

“What are they like?”

“Oh, well, you’ll really love them! Both mine and Suzy’s families live down there, a majority of them anyway, and everyone else comes down. My folks are great, my mom runs an equestrian therapy charity for veterans and my dad writes music. She’s been fascinated by you since we first talked about adoption!”

Lorelai tilted her head, “Is she interested because she thinks I need therapy..?”

Arin couldn’t help but chuckle, “Maybe! But, honestly, she thinks everyone needs therapy. She’s, uh, she’s probably right! She’s a fun chick, you’ll really like her! My dad’s her opposite, very laid back, relaxed. As for Suzy’s parents, they’re sweet! Her mom especially, she’ll probably feed you until you can’t even think about food anymore. Suze has the much bigger family.”

Lorelai finished her plate as Arin rambled about the family. Suzy had five siblings, a few with kids, a few without. Arin had a brother who was a veteran. Florida was humid and pretty warm in November, so they’d get clothes for her that would help with the weather. The family would simply adore her, but she would have to forgive them, they could be a lot. 

She internalized the information, smiling once Arin finished, “That sounds…nice. Uhm, I’ve never really had a, uhm, family holiday before..?”

“Really? What did you normally do during holidays?”

Lorelai had to think for a moment, “Uhm… Before I got into foster care, I didn’t have holidays unless my mom decided to come down and visit. My dad would get himself all clean in hopes of getting her back but uh..when it didn’t work, he would just…” She realized the sad frown on Arin’s face, “I-I’m oversharing, am I? I-I’ll try to not do that when we’re there.”

“Hey, hey, don’t uh, you share whatever you are comfortable with, kiddo!”

“But it’s okay! Because uh, in foster care, we’d sometimes go down to the toy drive! That, uh, stopped after a while, for me at least… but, uh, other kids got more and tha-that was always really nice. For Thanksgiving, th-there was always a local restaurant that gave us food, and that was always fun..! Uhm, uhm…Say, who cooks at your Thanksgiving?”

Arin changed his frown into a small smile, leaning against the countertop, “Well, everyone cooks at our Thanksgiving. We combine everything so it’s easier. Usually it’s hosted at my old home, since it’s got a much bigger dining room. But, we usually go and visit Suzy’s parents before Thanksgiving, that way we aren’t spending too much time at one place. We’ll find some cool things for you to see too since, I guess now you’re part Floridian. Don’t uh, share that with people. Florida is like the backwoods of the U.S.” 

Lorelai chuckled at his joke, watching as he took her empty plate and washed it, “Besides, my brother is probably going to insist you get the biggest piece. He’s a bit of a butthead like that. Now, uh, should we hit the office..?”

Lorelai thought for a moment, “I don’t see why not. I-I’m sorry about earlier, both this morning and, hm, right now..!”

“Don’t worry about it. You have nothing to be sorry for, kid. I’m the one who asked, right? Now come on, I’m gonna blow your fuckin’ mind with video games!”

Chapter Text

8:15 A.M

Lorelai and Arin sat in the Subaru, the sun already pelting down on the car despite it being November. Traffic was, unsurprisingly, heavy, but Arin seemed to be prolific at navigating it, narrowly avoiding dumb drivers and not speeding too much on the road. Lorelai, truthfully, felt a little awkward. Not only did she not really know what to talk to Arin about on their drive, it was odd acting like the morning never happened. Most people would be angry if the new person they allowed into their home became slap happy in their sleep.

Yet Arin? He seemed…perfectly happy. Not angry, not upset, not even untrusting. You couldn’t even see the mark anymore, and whether or not Arin felt any pain there was a complete mystery to her. Arin had his hair slicked back into a ponytail, a tight graphic t-shirt making him a little more intimidating buildwise to the girl. Granted, that graphic tee was of The Legend Of Zelda , so intentful intimidation was out of the window. 

The bigger man lazily tossed his phone to Lorelai, gentle smile on his face, “Hey, do me a favor! Can you text the group what coffees they want? It’s my turn for drink duty. It’s the chat called Grumps, and my phone code is 071812, probably should’ve led with that!” 

“Sure..! D-do you always bring them coffees?”

“No, no, once a week. We all rotate. I'm a delivery boy every Saturday and Monday!”

“You guys work Saturday..? When do you have time off?” Lorelai asked, her thumbs inputting the code. 

“Oh, no, we don’t work on Saturdays. Our job is..more like a hangout that we happen to get paid for. Business stuff happens during the week, weekends are for more fun stuff. It’s more of a…work when you feel! Don’t worry, I’m not a YouTube dictator! Family time will be a thing, kid!”

Lorelai couldn’t help but smirk at that comment. He was passionate, that much was clear to her. She opened up the messages, clicking on the Grumps group-chat and typing out quickly, ‘What drinks do you guys want?’ 

Though, before she clicked out of it, she noticed a few messages above.

Barry Kramer: I’ve set up a desk for her! The office will be a good distraction for whatever she’s going through

Brian Wecht ♥️: She’s doing okay, right? I’ll look into a specialist that can help her out while I’m here

Suze ♥️: We’ll get through this to---

Before Lorelai could finish the sentence, messages came flooding in. The girl perked up, “Uhm, okay, they’re coming in! Danny wants a Chai with vanilla…uhm, Suzy would like Caramel Macchiato, Ross wants a redbull, Kevin..?- wants a Chai too…  Barry wants an Iced Espresso with Caramel, Matt wants a Dirty Chai Latte…Ryan wants a Blended Strawberry Lemonade… uhm…Brian…”

“Hmm?”

“Brian just says you should know what he wants.” 

Arin chuckled at that as he turned into the drive-thru, “He’s got a thirty step order just to make black coffee fancy.” He chuckled again. As he said the order to the microphone, he finally turned to Lorelai, “What about you, kid?” 

Lorelai’s eyes went wide at that, “Uh, what..?”

“What do you want? You’ve been to a Starbucks, right?” When the girl shook her head, Arin just smiled, “Here, you like chocolate right? Not lactose intolerant?”

“Uhm, yes and no!”

“Perfect! I’ll get you what I drink! It’s basically a chocolate milkshake. You’ll love it!” 

As they pulled up to the window and waited, Lorelai frowned, “You don’t have to do this, thank you.!” 

“Pshh, of course I have to do this! You’re my foster daughter, the least I can do is get you trendy chocolate milkshakes! Don’t sweat it!” 

She couldn’t help but tense up a bit, though she smiled softly at his insistence. A part of her deeply loathed the side that wanted to grow close. There were always two ways these families ended up: Either they were wonderful and they gave her up, or they were horrible and tried to keep her.

Lorelai couldn’t help but be a little hesitant to believe that these people wouldn’t fall into those one of two categories… At least they could be a good memory if they were the first one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:00 A.M

The office was one of Arin's prized possessions. Him and the crew had spent so long designing and planning, not to mention how much money he had sunk into the project added to its importance. He couldn't help but feel that pride ignite more once Lorelai's eyes widened as she stepped in. Her mouth agape, a smile fighting its way onto her face, "Wooooww...!!!" It was small moments like this that made Lorelai's youth return to her. Her face wasn’t clouded with shielded maturity, her pretty hazel eyes seemed a little brighter. For once, she looked like the age she should’ve looked. "This is...this is crazy!-!"

Arin couldn't help but chuckle at her, watching her slowly walk through the collectible hallway, her head going back and forth so she wouldn't miss any hidden toy within the shelves. She hadn’t seen anything like this before, that the older man was sure of. "Well, if you work hard enough, and have hoarder tendencies, you can have something like this of your own!"

“What are all these?” She meticulously peaked into every cubby she could, eyes wide like saucers.

“The amiibos? Oh, uhm! They’re, like, little toys that interact with your video games! I can show you if you want!”

“Really?” Her eyes were wide, standing on her tiptoes to catch a glimpse of every little toy. 

“ ‘Course I can!” Arin chuckled, following her around as she wandered through the hallway and into the main section. Given the look on her face, most of the things within the office were cool   because they were new rather than cool because of the context. Nevertheless, it made Arin feel a twinge of pride. 

She was like a rabbit, peering around corners with wide eyes and a twitching nose. He could tell her amazement only heightened once she began to see familiar faces; Brian and Danny huddled at a small desk, Ross drawing in his office, the four editors lounging on one of the many couches. “Lorelaiiii!” came a cheer from the others, Barry lazily spinning in his chair to celebrate. 

“And drinks! Though, Lori, you’re waaay cooler than that!” Danny was quick to saunter his way over, wrapping the kid in a lanky-armed hug and snatching up his chai, “Thank you, hon.”

Brian came strolling behind, taking his drink and raising a brow, “You’ve told her the thing, right?”

“No, no not yet--” Arin tensed a little bit, his face contorting into something much more awkward. 

“Tell me what?” Lorelai asked, clutching her drink close, straw dangling from her mouth.

“Arin-!” Brian scoffed, but before he could continue, Arin jumped up.

“Uhh, later! Uhm, hey, Kevin! This is my daughter, Lorelai!" he threw his hand over Lorelai’s shoulder, partially twisting her to face “ Kevin” . 

Lorelai's smile dropped slightly, her shoulders stiffening. She figured meeting everyone and warming up was yesterday’s problem. Kevin, in sync almost, tensed and grimaced, "Hello, Lorelai...!" He did an awkward wave. "I make, uh...I make the videos...look nice...!" He was a tan man, dark hair that swooped over his face. He looked young, almost as young as Lorelai, with full cheeks and dark eyes.

"Hi Kevin...."

Arin suddenly noticed Ryan's cheeky grin as he looked over at Kevin, "Wait, Kevin, you didn't know Arin and Suzy had a daughter?" Ryan announced rather loudly. Kevin's eyes widened a bit, and just before Arin could commit damage control, Ryan continued, "You seriously didn't know?"

Kevin's eyes were wide, clearly in thought. Matt, through choked giggles, spoke up, "Yeah, he talks about her all the time. You listen, don’t you Kevin?"

"Arin, I am so sorry," Kevin gulped, looking over at Lorelai, "I did not know you and Suzy had a kid together...!!"

Ryan's hyena laugh soon filled the room, Barry sighing and whispering something to Kevin. Arin took the opportunity to whisper to Lorelai, "Don't mind them, they're basically teenagers...'cept Barry. But, you'll like Kevin. You're both the anxious type!" He smiled, ruffling her hair before leading her towards the main section.

“Arin, we’re talking in the kitchen--” Brian was insistent, cold eyes furrowed into a surprised disappointment. 

Handing Lorelai Ross’s RedBull, he spoke, “Okay, fine, hold on--” Arin swooped Lorelai into Ross’s office, peeking in, “Lorelai, this is Ross’s office! He’s got a bunch of things you should definitely touch and drop-”

“What--?” Lorelai could barely get a word in, Ross perking up.

“Lorelai! First person you visit? Gosh, if I knew you were such a big fan I would’ve given you an autograph!” Ross proclaimed, gesturing for the girl to come into the office. Given the anxious look on Arin’s face, Ross, for once, wasn’t going to pick a battle, “C’mere and check out your uncle’s cool tablet! C’maahn!”

A little more timidly now, Lorelai stepped inside, jumping up when Arin quickly closed the door. Her eyebrows furrowed with concern, looking over at Ross’s smug face, “Am I allowed to ask what that’s about?”

Ross had to think for a moment, “I personally think it’d be wayyyyy funnier not to tell you. I’m in favor of a ‘I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus’ situation-”

She scrunched her nose at that response, “What kind of answer is that?” 

“A funny one! 

“Well, don’t be funny! What’s going on?” 

Ross smirked, “Y’know, most kids are more than happy not worrying about anything. You should be like most kids. Now hand me my drink.”

Lorelai held her hand away, “Uh, no..! No, I will not give you this until you give me something more than ‘Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’, whatever that means-!” 

His brows furrowed, “You never heard-- ughh, damn you and your pop culture ignorance! Give me the drink and I’ll tell you!”

Lorelai contemplated, almost considering the deal, “No! What’s stopping you from just taking it and not telling me?”

“What’s stopping you from not giving it to me after I tell you!?” Ross chuckled back, leaning in his chair. The girl’s face furrowed, taking a defiant sip of her own drink. After a moment of staring at the girl, he laughed again, “Ughh, you’re fun! I like you! You’ll do well here! Since I like you, I’ll give you an inch: let’s just say, your family dynamic isn’t the most…monogomous.”

She raised an eyebrow, mouth slightly open. When she didn’t say anything, Ross held out his hand, “I’d like my drink, Miss. Toll Troll.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:10 A.M

Brian, Arin, and Danny all stood in the kitchen, with Brian and Danny looking now-so more concerned. Arin stood there anxiously as Brian leaded off, “You haven’t told her about us yet? Arin, you know that the faster you rip off this bandaid, the faster she’ll adjust!” 

Arin frowned, “She’s only been at our house for a day! I didn’t want to overwhelm her with something like that so fast! Y’know, it’s not like every day you get adopted by a polyamorous couple!” 

Dan placed his hand on Arin’s shoulder, “I mean, that makes sense, Bri! I’m sure she’s already uncomfortable enough with what’s going on. There…there should be an adjustment period before something crazy happens.” 

Brian crossed his arms, “No, this should be open to her from the get-go. It’s not like it was just Suzy that went to meet her at first. It was Suzy and Arin! By that logic, she should be introduced to one parent at a time.” 

“I was going to tell her soon, I mean. It’s not like I’m ashamed of it, it’s just. Y’know, she’s probably never met people like us before. She might not even know how to process it!”

“And is she going to be able to process it when guardianship is finalized? Poor kid’s gonna ask ‘hey, why do my two adoptive uncles also have custody over me? Isn’t that odd? Peculiar, even?’ -” Brian sighed, face calculating. As much as the older man understood Arin and Danny’s perspective, he couldn’t help but insist on something quicker. “I don’t want to lie to her and I don’t want to hide. I’d argue it’s even more confusing that she’d get used to us being her uncles and then magically see us kissing on her mom and dad-” 

“I mean, the social worker told us to build a sense of normalcy-!” Arin chirped back, “We can’t just overload her-!”

“When have we ever been normal, Arin?”

“Boys!” Danny finally stepped in, hand running through his curls, “Look, I have an idea. You guys are going to Florida for Thanksgiving. Brian and I are heading to New York. Why not…after the holiday or during that trip, we tell her then? She gets to see that she’s got a big loving family during a holiday all about, fuckin’ love and food and shit-” 

“I mean, Thanksgiving is rooted in more than that, Dan--”

“Brian-” Danny was unimpressed, his eyes half-lidded. The older man sighed, thinking about it as Danny explained, “It will still be a wait, BUT, we can show her that polyamory isn’t so bad. She gets three sets of grandparents, plenty of aunts and uncles, plenty of cousins, plenty of love. A big support system to help her out if she’s confused or overwhelmed. And it’s not even that long of a wait. We can manage until then-” 

Arin sighed softly, his shoulders relaxing, “That…That doesn’t sound half-bad, actually. We, uh, just have to get Suzy to agree.” 

“Her and I already talked about it,” Danny reassured, “I called her this morning before you showed up.”

Arin nodded, his trust secured in Danny. Both of them slowly turned to Brian, “Well?”

Brian nodded his head, taking a breath, “That…Okay, I can manage until then. I…I don’t mean to pressure you, I’m just…I’m just really excited. You know I’ve always wanted to be a dad…” Brian grew quiet with each word, bashful about his feelings. 

Danny couldn’t help but grin, “No pressure Arin, we just want to join you and Suzy on the parenting journey, y’know? We’re becoming a big family like we’ve talked about. You and Suzy aren’t going to be alone in this, whether you like it or not.”

Arin couldn’t help but grin to himself, “Psh, I know, I know. I-I’m not trying to disclude you guys, really. I’m just…you get it-”

“Course we do, Big Cat!”

Brian uncrossed his arms, “Well, you can start by telling us how this morning went.”

Arin nodded, “Pretty okay! Uhm, she likes French toast, she agreed to come here and come to the East Coast with everyone. And uh, she scratches at the wall in her sleep-”

“Oh, good, she’s---wait, what?” Brian raised an eyebrow, “She scratches the wall?” 

Dan tilted his head, “Is she havin’ nightmares or somethin’?” 

Arin nodded, “Yeah, though about what, I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me. But, she’s got scars on her fingertips, I’m assuming this is an ongoing problem.” 

“Did her files mention anything about that?” Danny asked. 

“I haven’t really looked into them too heavy, yet.” Arin admitted, “Suzy and I were honestly just so worn out from yesterday that we kinda just crashed once she fell asleep.” 

“Why don’t we look at them tonight, that way we can help her as much as possible while we’re out?” Danny suggested, arm still wrapped around Arin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:17 A.M

“YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED A VIDEO GAME?! Dude, Dan and Brian are ancient and they’ve played video games-!” Ross’s brow was raised, eyes wide, “How have you gone your entire life without playing a video game!”

Lorelai was sitting in one of the open desks, swaying side to side in the spinning chair, her hair a long, curly shield on her back, “Uhm, I dunno!” She did know, but she also knew that the reason was most likely an uncomfortable conversation for people, “I mean, does solitaire and sudoku on my phone count?”

“What are you, seventy years old?! Jeez, you’re supposed to be fourteen! Y’know, Pokemon and Five Nights at Freddy’s . You’re supposed to be annoyed about those games!” Ross shook his head. Barry was perched at his own desk, a mildly entertained smile on his face.

“Do you watch people play games, at least?” Barry asked, voice gentle and smooth. He watched as the girl pondered for a moment, her eyes soon lighting up.

Lorelai had to think about it. “Uhm, kind of! Most of my homes had very limited screentime, an-and I was usually occupied with school. But, a while ago I found a few…uhm, YouTubers(?), that I really like. There’s this one guy, Mark-ee-plyer. He’s really funny!” 

“Markiplier?” Arin had chirped up, stepping in from the kitchen with Brian and Danny in tow. “You know, we know him, right?” 

Her eyes began to sparkle again, a subdued fan-girl, “Really? Woah!” She couldn’t help but bashfully smile, “Th-that’s really cool!!” She took out her phone, her thumbs flicking before it opened up to YouTube, “I like his videos!”

Arin and Danny couldn’t help but laugh, watching as her face turned red, “Really? Well, after the holidays he was coming down to celebrate the album we made, so you’ll get to meet him!”

“You made an album with Markiplier…?! You made an album!?” Her voice was beginning to raise a few octaves, her cheeks even pinker. 

“We did tell you that we were musicians when we met you, Lorelai.” Brian recalled, a bright smile on his face. He was chuckling, now sitting down at his desk. 

Lorelai frowned slightly, “I thought you were just being nice. Plenty of people say they’re musicians when they just do it for a hobby, I didn’t think you were serious.” 

Brian and Ross laughed at that, “Arin! She’s funny! Can she come more often!?” Ross grinned, his laugh ravenous. “What else do you watch, Lorelai?"

“She can come as much as she wants-!” Arin smiled, coming over to sit down next to her on one side. 

At the second question, she straightened a little bit, her thinking distracting her from the fact she was, technically, being laughed at, “uhm, another one I saw was something called Ghoul Grumps …?”

Danny couldn’t help but grin, “You watched Ghoul Grumps?!” He was pleasantly surprised, plopping down in an extra seat, “We’re ghoul grumps!” 

Lorelai raised a brow, having to think back to that episode. She had only really watched about half the video, the content not entirely sticking to her brain. It would’ve under normal circumstances, but almost getting caught skipping school by people who would later turn out to be your new family is anything but normal circumstances. But, as she thought about it, it quickly clicked. 

And the fact she failed to recognize that the Ghoul Grumps and these people are one in the same. Online Entertainment Business. Video Games. Curly hair and skater boy haircut…

She felt stupid.

Her face grew even brighter, her head sinking down into her shoulders. They were all laughing at how stupid she was, and she couldn’t really blame them. She couldn’t remember seeing any signs around, but she should’ve recognized the voice and said something sooner. At her rescue, Arin gently put his hand on her shoulder, his eyes asking everything, ‘You alright, kid?’

Lorelai nodded her head weakly, Brian coming to the rescue before Arin could speak, “Shut up, Ross! Everyone knows the more important fact of the matter is that she’s never played a video game before. Shouldn’t we be fixing that?” 

The laughter died down, everyone perking up at the reminder. After all, you couldn’t be a part of a self-proclaimed ‘family of gamers’ without actually playing a game, “Yeah! Actually, we should! Well, what’s a good starter game for someone like her..?” Arin asked, hand steady on her back. It was grounding, warm and protective. 

Suggestions began to be thrown around and promptly shut down. Minecraft? Mmm, that’s good, but not first game good. Shovel Knight? Ehh, might be a little too hard straight away. Shadow of the Colossus? No, no, waay too hard.  

“Why not Kingdom Hearts ?” Barry finally suggested, a sea of ‘oooh’s’ escaping the group. “Its mine and Arin’s favorite game, so there’s help if it gets too hard…it’s got Disney characters, most people know that. It’s straightforward..!”

“The plot of Kingdom Hearts is not straightforward! I don’t know how many times you’ve both tried to explain it to me, I still don’t get it!” Danny laughed, leaning back in his chair. 

“Ugh, what part of a door that’s also a moon do you not understand, Dan?” Barry asked sarcastically, smiling. 

Arin grinned, “I think that’s a great idea! And we can show her the recording room! How’s that sound, Lorelai? Want to finally play a video game..?”

Lorelai, cheeks still dusted with a light pink overlay, looked at Arin. Her face still seemed a little worried, eyes doe like as she rubbed her hands together, “Uhm, th-that sounds good. Just, uhm, don’t make fun of me if I’m bad.”

“Video games aren’t about being good or bad, they’re about enjoying yourself and the art!” Brian spoke up, voice all knowledgeable. 

The tone made Ross playfully roll his eyes, “It’s a little bit about being good, don’t let him lie to you about the philosophy of gaming, Lors. Get him going and he’ll explain how video games are a key part of the inner mechanisms of societal’s progressive existence or some mumbo-jumbo.”

Brian raised a brow, “I probably could. After all, I have a Ph.D, Ross.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lorelai sat, moreso squished in between Arin and Dan, a PlayStation 3 controller awkwardly in her hand. The recording room was genuinely impressive. Acoustic sound proofing lined the walls, two TV’s big and centerfold in the room. A few timers, a few monitors showing off volumes and what was being recorded. Consoles lined the bottom shelves, two microphones towering over her.

“Wow, you guys have the whole shebang, don’t’cha?” Lorelai was looking around the room from her seat, her hands gently feeling the smooth controller. 

Arin beamed proudly, “Of course we do! We’re totally professionals.”

“So that’s what we call ourselves?” Danny joked, leaning back fully, arm draped over the back of the couch. “Are you sure you want to do the whole recording part, Lorelai? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Lorelai, honestly, wasn’t entirely sure what she was getting herself into. She explained what they do: faceless recordings of them just hanging out and playing video games. It was supposed to be reminiscent of just playing video games with your friends. Casual and fun and lowkey. They could do a whole recording, but it didn’t have to be posted if she didn’t want it to be. Arin thought it would just be fun, a unique experience. 

On that regard, it sounded fun! 

When it came to publishing the video, however, Arin mentioned that it would be a different conversation. 

“Are we sure I’m even..charming enough for this? I-I don’t want to bore your fans…!” Lorelai spoke up, looking over at Arin, fuzzy eyebrows perched in a worried position. 

Danny spoke up, “Hey, you’ll never know if you don’t try! None of that bad talk here, kid! Believe me, I was shittin’ kittens when I first started doing these videos, but you get used to it pretty quickly. The best you can be is just yourself! There’s no pressure!”

"Now, no one can see you, they can only hear you, barely. Don't worry about breathing too heavy or what not, I breathe like a bull-!" Arin began to explain, standing up and walking over to a small orange screen, “Watch this magic,” with a tap of a button, the wide screen flipped on, the loud symphony of the PlayStation 2 going straight to what felt like Lorelai’s brain. “Woo! Good PlayStation! Sometimes, this one doesn’t like cooperating with the switch.” 

"Holy- That's pretty cool!" Lorelai's eyes widened, Arin giggling.

"Real convenience when you record multiple games a day-! It also prevents fires!" He plopped back down, Lorelai returning to being slightly squished by the two men. 

After jamming his thumb in the center button to turn the controller on, he smiled, “Just for a headsup, this joystick is to move around, this X button is going to be your ‘yes’ or action button, and, uh, this O button is gonna be your, like, ‘no’ button, but it does other actions too.” His fingers touched every button he explained, a smile growing on his face with how she watched the controller. The kid was slowly coming out…

"Don’t be too worried, the game will explain everything to you! And remember Lorelai, we've embarrassed ourselves on the internet far harder than you could imagine. Be yourself, you'll be better than you think!" Dan smiled, giving Lorelai a prideful thumbs-up.

Lorelai nodded, turning as Arin spoke, "Alright, ready?"

Then, the countdown. It was like a switch had flipped in Arin, as if his "let's player" mode had kicked in. He glanced at the monitors, speaking up, "Welcome back to Guest Grumps! We have...a very special guest with us, and we’re playin’ Kingdom Hearts woaaahhhh!" His tone was jovial and chirpy.

“Uhm…get your special socks out disney fans.” Lorelai nervously spoke.

“Well, shit, if that’s not an indication of how this is gonna go, I don’t know what is!” Danny said in-between chuckles. Lorelai couldn’t help but grin a little bit at Danny’s reaction, a warmth settling in her chest. “I dunno, everyone said that a good first-ever-game for this kid was, whatever the fuck this is-”

"ITS NOT JUST WHATEVER THE FUCK," Arin defended, "IT'S KINGDOM HEARTS, DAN! I'm so sorry, GUEST, Dan just doesn't understand- Ignore his hate," cue Dan's bubbly laughter, "Introduce yourself, guest!"

Lorelai hated being put on the spot, it made her face red and her hands clammy and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. But she pushed through, "HeyyyYYYyy, I'm Lorelai! None of you know me yet-! But you will know me, because I-I'm gonna save Mickey Mouse!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10:39 A.M.

“GET HIM GET HIM GET HIM!!!” Danny was roaring with laughter, Arin leaning forward to watch the intense boss-fight. At this point, Lorelai had made it through Wonderland . She had gotten a hold of the controls very rather quickly, her eyes locked onto the screen to try and beat the Trickmaster. 

The main, unspoken goal of the day had been to get her to loosen up, to get her to be a kid without those tightly built shields. Kingdom Hearts was serving as such a wonderful distraction from the constant need to protect herself, distracting her from everything that could go wrong. 

Her eyes were bright and sparkly, her feet tapping with excitement as she did everything she could to duck and dodge. A smile was beaming on her face, the cheers and encouragement of Dan and Arin making her giggle and squeal. “FUCK THAT GUMBY LOOKIN’ MOTHERFUCKER UP!!!! YOU GOT THIS!” Arin cheered. When that final swing hit Trickmaster , the screen going into slow motion, the three of them were screaming and cackling with joy. 

“Donald,” Lorelai said in between laughing breaths, “You live another day, you stupid feathered fuck-”

“Donald was doing everything he could!” Arin defended with laughter, giving a few claps as Lorelai collected the experience points. 

When Danny finally stopped laughing, he grinned, “Is this a good time for a ‘next time on GrumpCade’..?”

“No one told me Kingdom Hearts was so exhausting.” Lorelai chuckled, setting the controller down on her lap and leaning back fully on the couch. Her hands made it to her face, shaking her head, “Maybe next time Donald won’t be so lucky-” 

Soon enough, Arin stopped the recording, a big smile on his face. He turned to the girl, beaming proudly, “Sooooooo, did you like it?” 

“Yeah! Sora is so much fun, I don’t entirely get why he and Kairi are separated yet, but I want to get her back so he won’t be so lonely! And where is Riku?! The worlds are really fun, I like it!” She rambled, sitting up and talking with her hands, a smile on her face. There was youth in her eyes, her voice higher in pitch due to how excited she was. “My thumbs hurt!” 

Arin and Danny couldn’t help but giggle at her child-like excitement. She felt floaty, her cheeks pink from the constant laughing. Even her sides hurt from it all, her thumbs feeling too loose. But, it felt good! It felt great, actually! It was like riding a rollercoaster without actually riding the rollercoaster. 

“Good! That’s great! I take it we’ve just given you a new hobby?” Danny purred. 

“Yeah, yeah!” Lorelai grinned, “When can we do it again!?” She had such a sweet smile, with two front teeth that were a little bigger than the rest of them, a small gap giving her a childish smile. It was in that moment where they both didn’t see the malnourished, guarded survivor. Rather, they could see the sweetheart hiding inside, the one that would soon go back to hiding. But for now, Arin and Danny couldn’t help but feel a warmth in their heart. 

It made them even more determined to bring that sweet girl out of her shell… 

And with a proud smile, Arin spoke, “Anytime you want, sweetheart…Anytime you want.” 

Chapter Text

6:00 P.M 

Lorelai sat at the dining room table, a plate of curry chicken in front of her. What she had quickly learned from the first two bites was that Suzy Berhow made for an excellent chef. Everything melted in your mouth like delightfully seasoned velvet, pops of flavor exploding with each bite. Danny and Brian had joined the three for dinner, and for Lorelai, and deliciously juicy chicken couldn’t disguise from the awkwardness Lorelai felt in her chest. 

The adults at the table were obviously hiding something, and it was clear to Lorelai that they didn’t quite realize she had been paying more attention to the side comments earlier. ‘You told her the thing, right?’ This thing, what was it? Whatever it was, Lorelai assumed, had to be the bad luck that always seemed to follow her with new families.

It was an excuse, probably. ‘We can’t afford to keep you anymore! You are just too much for us to handle! You can’t just go around slapping people! You aren’t the little girl we thought we were getting!’ If it were any of that, Lorelai could at least commend the record speed of the realization. Usually, it took a little bit for that ball to roll, but every family was different. Perhaps if that ‘unadoptable’ label was slapped onto her, she wouldn’t have to worry about jumping from place to place anymore. 

But Ross’s comment was…odd? If she could trust him, then perhaps the thing was something unrelated to her. Though, she didn’t get the reference. After dinner, she would have to look up what the hell Mommy kissing Santa Clause means--

“Loriiiiiiii…Earth to Loriiiiiiii?” Dan’s sweet, sing-song voice broke through her thoughts, her hazel eyes slightly widening with a mouthful of rice in her mouth. “There she is! Thinking about world domination or something?” 

“Hah, you do kind of look like the world-dominating type!” Arin chuckled, watching the girl swallow her food and raise a brow. 

“Ah, yes, definitely planning on taking over the world. Keep up the teasing and its enslavement for you all.” Lorelai teased back, her shoulders relaxing. She was really trying to protect herself, to not get so close and to not get so soft. This was day two, and yet she was already joking around with them. She was playing a dangerous game, teetering on a deadly line that she knew the end to all too well. 

Yet, there was something about them. Something naturally soft and inviting. Something that made you just want to chuckle around them, joke around with them, play games with them. Arin beamed proudly, “Lorelai got to play her first video game today,” He was talking to Suzy, “She’s a lot better than me, that’s for sure!” 

Suzy smiled back, her face warm, “Really? Well, Lorelai,” she turned to the girl, Lorelai blushing a bit that it seemed like all eyes were on her, “How was your day? I hope it wasn’t too overwhelming for you!” 

Lorelai took a second to respond. The woman seemed genuinely interested, her head slightly tilted. Come to think of it, Lorelai couldn’t quite remember the last time someone had asked her how her day went, “Uhm, well, it was fun! There was a lot going on..! Uhm,” She thought for a moment, “The office is really pretty, how long did that take to build?”

Dan couldn’t help but shake his head, “Far too long. Believe me, if you were there, you would’ve been over it by a month.”

“It took longer than a month..?!” 

“Longer than five months-” Brian commented, taking a sip of his water, “But, I suppose it was all worth it. You looked like a kid in a candy store seeing all of it!”

“You’d probably be more excited if you understood the references,” Arin confessed, “But, the goal of the office is to be overly cool to everyone who walks in, and it did its goal today. I can die happy.” 

“What game did they force you to play?” Suzy asked with a grin, “I could only imagine the crap they decided to get you to play. Arin’s a real fan of playing bad stuff-”

Lorelai had to think for a moment once again, “Kingdom Hearts! I think that’s what it was called. It, uh, had a bunch of disney people? And some dude with a giant key and really stupid Mickey Mouse shoes!” 

Danny and Arin beamed proudly, with Arin grinning, “See! I picked a good game for her! You’re supposed to have faith in me!” 

“Did he let you read the tutorials, Lorelai? Those are the best parts of any game, y’know?” Brian chimed in, Lorelai smiling softly at the jovial banter. 

“Uhm, yes, he did let me read the tutorials. I..I wouldn’t say they are the best part of the game-” 

“Thank you, Lorelai! She can read whatever she wishes! And Brian thinks tutorials are the best part of the game because he’s old, first game he played was probably Pong -” Arin teased, Brian merely smirking smugly. 

“Well, Arin, when you’re a Theoretical Physicist, you simply don’t have time for such simple things like video games. Tutorials stimulate the mind in a far more meaningful way than your silly little graphics.” He smirked, earning an eyeroll from seemingly everyone at the table. “And for your information, the first game was actually Tennis for Two , which was created in 1958 by American Physicist William Alfred Higinbotham, so therefore your insult sucks because you didn’t emphasize just how old I was.” Lorelai was quietly giggling, watching as Brian then turned to her, “See, Lorelai, you must always be one step ahead. I will teach you how to have the last laugh, fret no more.”

“The last thing we need is two Brians on our hands. I think my mind would explode,” Dan playfully put his face in his hand, letting out an overdramatic sigh. 

Brian grinned, “If you expect me to not help Lorelai become a sophisticated and educated young ninja who can whip you all into shape, then you are dumb. Watch, Lorelai, hit us with an insult. One that will make their hearts yearn for better days.”

Lorelai was giggling softly still, the sound sweet like lilac syrup. “Uhm, uhm, okay. Uhh,” More giggling was erupting at the table slowly, the smile growing on Lorelai’s face, “You’re so old that…not only was your first game Tennis for Two… but, uh, you helped invent it, meaning you are older than the first video game. Take that-!” She could help but giggle a little louder as Brian’s eyebrow raised, the table erupting into giggles. 

“Perfection, see that’s how you get them. You insult, then you explain the insult, because they’re stupid and don’t know the insult. Double the insult.” Brian smiled again, looking at the young girl with a surprisingly soft face. He then turned away, “With that amount of callousness, you could be a ninja just like me.”

“Theoretical Physicist and ninja? Is there nothing you can’t do?” The young girl grinned, the small gap in her teeth prominent. 

Brian smiled, “See, she gets it! I knew you were a good fit for us.”

“You both are dumb, this is horrible, I’m going to go die now-” Danny giggled, putting his face into his hands. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:36 P.M 

The adults were left sitting by the coffee table in the living room, a binder sitting in the center of the table. They had spent plenty of time with Lorelai, playing board games and sharing a few stories, yet they didn’t pry so much into her yet. It was her first real night with everyone, and as much as they were curious about the simple things about Lorelai, they didn’t quite know how to ask without feeling pushy .

Suzy was sitting there, looking at the binder as if it was some looming threat. This binder was supposed to include records: medical, behavioral, and most importantly, background. They had been warned by Martinez, many meetings ago, that the life their new daughter once had was anything but sunshine and rainbows. A part of Suzy wanted to remain ignorant, to not have to visualize or face whatever realities lied behind. But, to be ignorant was to be neglecting Lorelai. How was she supposed to help her heal if she didn’t know what was hurting in the first place?

“Ready, everyone?” Brian reached out, grabbing the bottom of the table and pulling it closer. “There should be something in here that helps with the nightmares, right?” 

Arin shrugged, him and Suzy scooting closer. Danny, who sat on the other side, scooted in and spoke, “or if the nightmares are a problem at all. Maybe it's a one off thing?” 

“I’m hoping.” Suzy replied, gently opening out the binder and scoping through. Martinez had color coded the folders, sophisticated cursive marking what each folder contained. The first folder was a bright orange, labeled simply Basic Info.

Brian nodded, flicking open the purple folder. It appeared that each Martinez had also typed up a summary page for each section, though it was clear that the real documents were neatly tucked away. “First up!” Flicking down his reading glasses, he cleared his voice. 

Before he could read, Danny couldn’t help but mention, “Jesus, you’re such an old man…” When the three others looked at him, concern etched on their faces, Danny winced, “Sorry, guys, the tensions getting to me-” 

“I am old, but I am arguably the best reader. Now…” Brian took a few moments to scan over the page, before beginning to read. 

“Lorelai Lazlo Extrum ( gosh, that’s her middle name?), was born on August 21st, 2000, at four pounds and six ounces. Due to this, it is important to continuously monitor her lungs, as she is more susceptible to infections. Previous instances of these infections are documented in Medical and should be shared with primary care providers.” 

To the side of the opening was a picture, previously crumpled and re-flattened, taped with an arrow pointing, Baby Lorelai! She was tiny, scrunched up with her hands in fists, head full of hair, along with a few breathing monitors to help. Suzy knew that, after all, she, too, was a NICU baby. “Awwh, oh my gosh, she’s so tiny!” Arin grinned, his face growing warm. 

It was almost surreal, to Suzy, because by all accounts, they were looking at their daughter, freshly born. Maybe it was weird, maybe it wasn’t normal, but Suzy couldn’t help but envision herself in that scene, looking down at her own little newborn. It didn’t matter if Lorelai wasn’t technically hers, it didn’t matter if she had only met Lorelai a few months ago…She couldn’t help but want Lorelai to be hers. 

“She was born to Angela Carter and Lazlo Extrum. It is important to note that both Carter and Extrum are individuals who have either been in the foster care system or have been adopted. Ms. Carter was born in Daejeon, South Korea and was adopted at the age of two, the contact information for the grandparents is contained in the FAMILY folder. As for Mr. Extrum, he spent his youth in and out of foster care, until eventually growing out of the system. It is important to note that as of July of 2014, no family members belonging to Extrum have reached out. Further information about Carter and Extrum are detailed in the FAMILY folder.” 

“Lorelai is a sweet and sensitive young girl who may have difficulties relinquishing trust, but it is important to provide consistency and reliability to her. Lorelai loves to draw, sing, and play softball. She has a great sense of humor and can occasionally be playfully mischievous in the right setting. Lorelai is, however, prone to intense anxiety attacks, in which it is important to provide comfort, security, and a grounded space. These attacks are listed in both the MEDICAL and BACKGROUND folders. Overall, Lorelai is resilient and a lovely child to be around, and your home should allow for this wonderful young lady to thrive. 

Within the BASIC INFO folder, there are numerous pictures of Lorelai throughout the years. She is okay with these being displayed, but it is important to ask anyway. ” 

It was clear that Martinez had cared about Lorelai, it was clear she still did. “Anxiety attacks? Maybe that’s what she was having instead of a nightmare?” Danny suggested, looking up at the rest of the gang. 

“Can you even have that in your sleep..?” Suzy asked innocently, her eyes instinctually flicking back to the baby photo.

“Yes, Nocturnal Panic Attacks. The background folder can tell us why that happens…” Brian chimed in, flicking the folders to the second, red folder, “From the sounds of it, it seems like a cycle of instability.” 

“Well, we don’t really know that. Just because both her parents were in foster care doesn’t maybe mean they were bad..? Maybe they didn’t know how to give her a better life..?” Suzy defended. She couldn’t imagine someone being cruel to that little baby in the photo, let alone to Lorelai now. 

Brian sighed, “I love you, dear, but that is optimistic…” With a frown, he opened up the folder. He leaned forward, taking out the papers and setting them on the table to cross-reference with the papers, “Alright… Lorelai Lazlo Extrum is placed into the foster care system due to extensive abuse and neglect, and due to this, Lorelai has special needs that must be taken into account. The condition of her youth resulted in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder along with some physical conditions, detailed within the MEDICAL folder. 

Lorelai CANNOT be put in positions in which she is locked away from other people or ‘trapped’ within a space, especially a confined space. Please refer to COURT DOCUMENT A.” 

Danny took a shaky breath, picking up the paper. It was put into a protective sleeve, “A” labeled on the bottom corner. It was a witness report from an officer. “Fuck, okay…uhm… The Extrum home was in disarray, with a part of the ceiling in the kitchen having collapsed. There was not an inch of the house that wasn’t filled with grime or dirt. We had been called to the home for reports of unresolved screaming from a child, later identified as Lorelai Extrum, the defendant's eight-year-old daughter. Neighbors reported that the cries were not uncommon from the house, but that the ones lasting that week of March of 2009 were reported as feeling ‘more wrong’ than usual. Several illegal substances were found along with illegally obtained firearms. Furthermore, in the back of the house was a small room with a door barricaded by a dresser… oh my god…” Danny had covered his mouth, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

“What..?! What is it?!” Suzy couldn’t help but grab the paper, her hands tightly holding the paper as she read over the words. There was a flame, perhaps maternal instinct, flaring in her chest, determined to figure out what repulsed Danny so much. 

They were far too deep into this. 

Without saying a word, she read over the lines. Her mind had tuned out the sounds of people talking, her eyes glossing over each sentence like it was burning her eyes. 

“Behind the door was the same child who had been the cause of the reported screaming. She had clearly been attacked, and after interviewing the girl, she had been stuck there for several days. She claimed that Mr. Extrum was the one who put her there. There were scratch marks on the door and no windows in the room. The only way she was able to tell the time was from the crack under the door, which showed light from the front door…” 

Suzy hadn’t even realized she had been crying until a splotch of tears had blurred some of the reading. She had made a small gasp for air, her hand roughly wiping away the tears as she continued reading the explanations provided. It had moved on to the report from a doctor who had cared for Lorelai once rescued from the house. It went over injuries, how her hands were damaged and her joints inflamed, how hungry she was, how weak she was. Details that Suzy wished were all just made up. 

“Suzy…” Arin couldn’t help but reach over, hugging her tightly. His voice was shaky, his grip on her tight. He had read the same lines, had imagined the same horrors in his head. “Oh my god. Oh my god. What the fuck-”

“Please tell me this man is in prison…” Danny spoke-up, staring at Brian with misty eyes. 

Brian cleared his throat, his hand shaking as he flicked to the FAMILY folder, snatching up the summary for that folder. “Well, Brian?!” Danny prodded. 

“Hold on, the one in my hand only talks about more homes she’s been in…” He set the first paper down on the table, fixing his glasses to see the writing. “Uhh, uhh,” After a few moments of flicking through, he found it, “Here, uhm, he was sentenced in 2009 to nine years in prison with a couple of fines…” He sighed with relief. 

Danny nodded, his eyes wide with concern, “S-so he’s only been in there for…what, four years…?” 

“Five..” Suzy spoke, her eyes staring at the printed picture of Lazlo Extrum, “That’s too low for what he did! How the hell did he get off so easily?! And where the hell was her mother during all of this?!” Her face was growing red, sticky tears falling down her face as Arin held her tighter. That man, he even looked evil. While his eyes were hazel like Lorelai’s, they were dark, soulless, tired. His face was ovalish, with an unkempt beard and messy brown curls. Heavy eyelids, hollow cheeks, no remorse in his face.

If Suzy had ever saw this man, she’d probably have a mugshot of her own. 

“It appears that Angela has mostly been AWOL, occasionally popping in and out. The paper claims she’s.. unreliable.”

Danny wiped his face a bit more, “God, what winners. I just…I want to puke…Poor Lorelai..” 

Brian was lazily flicking through the papers, exhausted from the revelations of why Lorelai was in this position in the first place. “Medical…wait wait, okay, here’s something…” 

“ Lorelai has a few medical conditions to be aware of, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. However, Lorelai is, currently, against medications due to some personal reasons. She should have an asthma pump in her possession, but if not, it can be reimbursed quickly.” 

“So…the nightmares…is...is the PTSD causing that..?” Arin asked, Suzy trying to regain composure. 

Brian nodded, “I mean, I’m not…I’m not qualified to answer that but…if I had to guess, I’d have nightmares too if I went through what she did…” 

“Why would someone do such a thing-- I, I mean…What do we do? A-a-are we even equipped to help her? What if we can’t?” Dan had been standing up at this point, as if the nervous energy was eating him up alive. 

“Then we die trying!” Suzy finally blurted out, shaking her head and standing up, “We are not going to fail her the way everyone else has! W-w-we’re going to help her and we’re going to love her because she isn’t theirs to hurt anymore. She’s going to be safe, and she’s going to be happy and loved and she won’t ever have to think about those sick fucking bastards ever again! SHe-she’s gonna play softball and paint and sing and do everything she could possibly want, and no one is going to take that away from her!”

Arin nodded his head, “Yeah, we show her that…that the world is different. We don’t have to be professionals to do that…w-we just have to be..-” His arm was around Suzy, his breaths still shaky from the revelation. 

“Her parents. We have to be her parents.” Danny looked back at Suzy, going over to hug her tightly. Suzy embraced him back, feeling her tears soak his shirt.

“She won’t ever have to worry about that shit ever again, not if we can help it.” Brian stood up, joining the group huddle, “We keep her safe and educated and loved and fuckin’ whatever else she needs to be. It’s going to be okay…”

Chapter Text

November 24th, 2014

4:45 A.M.

Arin’s hands gripped the Subraru’s steering wheel, and as tired as he was, the family needed to get to the airport. This grueling drive, which, in actuality, wasn't all that grueling, would be worth it: he would get to crash on the flight. Six hours! Six hours from Los Angeles to West Palm Beach! Pretty good night's sleep right there! 

Despite the tiredness, Arin felt good! Beside him, Suzy had dozed off, cheek pressed against the rolled up window. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun, her mouth slightly open, her breaths gentle. Meanwhile, in the back of the car, Lorelai had also dozed off. She had her arms crossed, curled up in the seat like a small cat. Her face was pressed against the window, just like Suzy, with curly hair hiding most of her face. 

His chest felt warm. It felt right to be in this position. His wife and his child dozed off peacefully as they set off to go visit extended family for the holidays. It sounded picture perfect in his head, in fact, it was picture perfect to him. While, sure, he was more than happy to indulge in the more grandiose parts of fatherhood, it may have been the simple stuff he had looked forward to more. His two girls asleep in the car, the mutual tiredness all connecting them together. 

And seeing them like that, sweetly asleep and safe? It made fatherhood feel less scary…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:00 A.M.

Lorelai sat by the window of the plane, nervously fiddling with her hands. They went through the baggage checks and security checkpoints, walked through x-ray machines and scanned ID’s. Lorelai’s stomach felt tight, hard like a fist mid clench. She could faintly hear Arin and Suzy quietly talking amongst themselves, though she didn’t have the heart to join in. 

There was a detail that Lorelai inadvertently failed to mention about herself. In all honesty, she didn’t mean to not mention it! She just…didn’t think about it until it seemed far too late to mention anything. 

She hadn’t ever been on a plane before.

Sweat was caked on the back of her neck as she picked at her cuticles, her mouth going dry. God, why is everyone so close to each other? What’s the likelihood of a plane crash? She inhaled a rather large, albeit shaky breath, her cheeks growing uncomfortably hot. It felt like the air was slowly leaving the plane, as if the place was slowly turning into a sauna. The seat was uncomfortable, it seemed to hit against her body all wrong. 

Most of the safety speech had been tuned out, her mind far too busy to focus on anything. But, the string of thought was snapped out when the flight attendant spoke up, “Should the cabin experience a severe sudden pressure loss, stay calm and listen for instructions from the cabin crew! Oxygen masks will fall down from your seat.” The attendant began to demonstrate and explain the motions of putting on the mask, an overly cheery smile on her face. 

Lorelai stared at the flight attendant, her eyes wide. Oxygen mask? Pressure change? Her mind began to race, her face growing paler with each scene of devastating plane catastrophes filling her mind. Oh god, I’m stuck in a metal tube and the only line of defense I have is a fucking oxygen mask---

“Lorelai?” Suzy’s sweet voice spoke up, her green eyes fixated gently on the young girl. The flight attendant had stopped a while ago, having already vanished out of view. “Honey, are you alright?” 

Lorelai looked back at Suzy, eyes still wide, forehead still shiny with anxiety sweat, “Uhm, uhm, I’m okay, yeah…-”

Suzy cocked an eyebrow, “Are you sure, honey?” Suzy’s full attention was on Lorelai, for Arin had already begun dozing off, looking as if he was not in a metal death tube. 

Lorelai frowned, “Uhm, well, uh, I…I’ve never been on a plane before and… I’m just kinda freaking out a little bit, I guess. I-I promise, I’m fine.” 

Suzy watched her for a few moments, humming to herself. She then smiled, offering out her hand, “Well, this is going to be a strange request, but do you mind if you hold my hand? Plane turbulence always freaks me out.” She offered a sympathetic smile. It took Lorelai a few moments, but when the plane began to turn, her bony hand quickly found refuge in Suzy’s soft hand with a quick squeeze. Lorelai knew what Suzy was implying. Lorelai didn’t have to make herself any more vulnerable than she already was in order for the comfort to be right alongside her. 

Instead of arguing, the girl kept her hand there, squeezing tightly. Suzy had rather soft hands, pretty manicured nails drawing Lorelai’s eyes every few moments. “Here, why don’t we look for something to watch on the little tv here? Usually they have the best movies!” Suzy grinned, gently lifting up the arm rest and beginning to click on the small television. Lorelai didn’t have to, but in many ways she didn’t have to. 

Slowly, Lorelai began to sink into the chair, forcing herself to not look at the window as they began taking off. Suzy kept talking sweetly, “It’s going to be okay, that’s what I have to tell myself. I’ve been on so many planes in my life, and the most I had was just some rough turbulence.” She was clicking through menus, not reacting when Lorelai’s grip would go from tight to deathgrip . 

“Oooh, they’ve got Mamma Mia! Here we go! This is one of my favorites! You can never be too scared when there’s a musical playing. Meryl Streep is to die for.” Suzy looked at Lorelai, smiling. She quickly plugged in the earbuds, wrapping an arm around Lorelai’s shoulder, her other hand taking Lorelai’s. Lorelai had the right earbud, Suzy the left. 

Lorelai couldn’t speak, her fear having stolen what strength she could muster for responses. But, Suzy didn’t seem to mind, her voice still warm, her actions still sweet. A thumb rubbed Lorelai’s shoulder, smoothly, softly: up, down, up, down. A rhythmic comfort, “You’re going to be okay, Lorelai. I promise. Before you know it, we’ll be back on the ground and it’ll be all behind you. Just take some deep breaths and focus on the movie, you’ll love it.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

11:57 A.M

Lorelai had made it just past Super Trouper before she had finally dozed off. Though, by the time they landed, the two girls were in the same position, curled up in the uncomfortable chairs, earbuds loosely dangling from their ears. Arin had done the courtesy of snapping a picture, though he would keep it to himself for now. 

“Hey, girls,” His voice was buttery smooth, deep and well rested. His hand gently shook Suzy, the two girls slowly waking up, “We made it.”

Lorelai blinked a few times, the two sleeping beauties straightening out, “We…we made it, no..nothin’ bad happened?” She yawned, stretching out in her seat. 

“Course not, you’re safer in a plane than you are in a car, kiddo!” Arin smiled, watching as the girls finally straightened out fully, finally letting go of the others’ hand, “Tssk, you guys watched Mamma Mia without me? I see how it is-” 

Suzy smiled, “Mamma Mia is for us, find your own cheesy movie to share!” She teased, giving Lorelai a big grin, “See? It’s all behind you now!” 

The three of them soon made it out of the plane, far less tired than they were at the beginning of the plane ride. They had made it to baggage claim without any issues, their bags safe and sound. The items were collected, though before they could even begin to take in the Tampa airport, there was a loud squeal. 

“ SUUUUZYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!” 

The voice sounded almost identical to Suzy’s, only a little deeper. Standing a few feet away, a brunette woman was beaming, flowy orange dress making her stand out against tired travelers. 

“JEAAAAN!!!!!” Suzy went dashing over, roller suitcase in tow, black hair swooshing as she latched onto the mysterious woman. The two hugged, spinning around like a hulahoop, squealing joyful exclamations that Lorelai couldn’t quite make out. 

Arin was chuckling, glancing down at Lorelai, “That is Suzy’s sister, Jean! C’mon, she’s super nice!” He gestured with his head, soon leading the young girl over to the two spinning sisters. 

Lorelai could begin making out what Suzy was saying, “ ohmygoodnessitsbeenforeversinceiveseenyouohmygodhowhaveyoubeen!!!!!!!!” 

Then, Jean, “ girlyouneedtocomeoutmoreoftenitsbeenwonderfuloverherehowareyouuuuuuuu!!!!!”

Soon enough, the girls stopped spinning and squealing, turning to the two others, “Arin! Good to see you again!” Jean briefly hugged her brother-in-law, though it was very clear she was much more interested in the young girl standing amongst them. Lorelai was staring up at the three tall people, nervously clutching her suitcase close to her. Jean looked identical to Suzy, with only a few differences here and there that Lorelai could tell. It seemed…fitting for Suzy to be a twin. “And you must be the newest addition to the family! I’m your Auntie Jean! Oh my gosh, you are just the cutest!” 

Jean pinched Lorelai’s cheeks gently, soon wrapping the young girl into a tight hug, “You are gonna fit right in with the family! Augh, all your cousins are going to love you!!!”

“Warning, you are gonna be the baby of the family, but between you and me, that’s a pretty good spot for a Berhow.” Suzy chimed in, Lorelai anxiously nodding along. 

Lorelai managed to muster out, “Uhm, I-I-I’m Lorelai…c-cousins..?” 

“Yes! Your aunt Virginia has two daughters and your uncles Marc and John each have a son! They’re nice kids, probably drag you around everywhere! Ohhh, you guys are the last to arrive, so you’ll get to see everyone! It’s going to be so nice!” 

Lorelai looked nervous, her thick eyebrows furrowed, her lips forming into a squiggly frown, “O-oh, okay. I-I’m not intruding on anything, right?” 

“Of course not!” Suzy interjected, putting her hand on Lorelai’s arm, “You are a part of this family just as much as everyone else! They will be more than happy to have you!” 

I’m really not a part of the family like you guys… Lorelai couldn’t help but instantly think, but she nodded anyway. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

1:15 P.M

Jean’s car soon pulled into the packed driveway, the Florida weather humid but surprisingly not too awful. Lorelai had only ever heard of news articles about rabid bugs and even more rabid Floridians, but so far, all she had really seen now was a cute little cookie-cutter house. “Welcome to Casa de Berhow!” Jean happily announced, giving her car a few honks before shutting it off. She looked behind at Arin and Lorelai, beaming to Lorelai, “You leave your stuff in the car, I’ll make one of the boys deal with it. Come on!” 

With how Jean was acting, it made sense why Suzy was so bubbly. 

Arin gave her a thumbs up as she stepped out of the car, quickly making her way to Suzy’s side. Suzy smiled softly at her, leading her to the front door of the Berhow home. Jean took the lead, unlocking the door with a key and swinging it open, “WE’VE ARRIVED! YOUR FAVORITE KIDS ARE HERE!” She called out, Lorelai entering last, “MARC, HELP ARIN WITH THE SUITCASES!” 

Lorelai was almost hiding behind Suzy, pressing her nails against her palm as she crept with Suzy. There was a dining table full of adults, talking and laughing. A stout woman soon stood up, her brown hair tied up into a bun. She wore a coral top with blue shorts, her face beaming with a bright smile. She looked like Suzy and Jean, the same almond eyes and thin grin, “Ohhhh, there are my baby girls! Jeanbug!” She hugged the older twin, rocking her back and forth before moving to Suzy, “And my Suzy-bear! Ohhh, It’s so nice to see you!”

“It’s nice to see you too, Mom!” Suzy hugged back, relishing in seeing her mom again before soon letting go, starting up the gentle introduction, “Mom, this is Lorelai, she’s our daughter.” 

Lorelai could feel her tan cheeks turning bright red, biting the inside of her cheek as the Berhow family began looking over at her. Ms. Berhow’s eyes lit up, “Ohhhh, you are so beautiful! You look just like my little Suzy!” She hugged the girl, it was becoming more and more clear that the love language of the Berhow family was definitely physical touch. “Well, I’m your Grandma Tilly , though all the kids just call me Gam-Gam!” 

“O-oh, uhm, are you sure they’d want me to call you that?” 

“I want you to call me Gam-Gam! Don’t worry about them, they’ll live. Ooh! This is perfect, Richard, go get it!” 

Richard, a tall, balding man with a fluffy beard and thin eyes, raised a brow, “Get what? Honey, let her sit down, they’ve had a long flight.”  

Tilly shook her head, “Your father, I swear,” She then patted Lorelai’s shoulder, “One second, honey!” 

Suzy couldn’t help but chuckle, “Ohh, I know what this is. You can back out if you aren’t comfortable.” 

Lorelai gave a worried, wide-eyed look, watching Gam-Gam return with a small shirt in her hands, “Ohh, every Thanksgiving I get a picture of all my babies! Of course, I make them all match and since you’re my newest baby, you get one too!” 

“O-oh! This is nice, you don’t have to do this, really.” Lorelai unfolded it; the shirt was a vibrant blue tank, flowy with a high neckline. 

“And before you ask, I want you in the picture, so no more fretting! Your cousins are on their way back, they’re getting tickets to the little fair the town holds every year, and I told them to get one for you too! I doubt a young lady like you would wanna lounge around with a bunch of old people!” Gam-Gam laughed at her own joke, her hands guiding Lorelai closer to the table. She was talking as if Lorelai had been a part of the family her entire life, a warm familiarity laced within every word. 

She spoke so sweetly as she explained the new family Lorelai was being seated with. A couple of uncles, an aunt, and a grandfather who was promptly referred to as Gampy Richard, though he didn’t entirely seem to be as deadset on the name as Gam-Gam. Lorelai could feel her face growing redder and redder by the second, her mouth dry as her mind rattled off all the ways she could disappoint these people. Surely by the end of the night they’d want her out of the house. 

“Now you sit down right here, you must be starving after the flight. You are all just in luck, I made lunch.” Gam-Gam happily spoke, her voice trailing off in Lorelai’s focus as she directed her attention to Suzy and Arin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Lorelai had been given what felt like an unending amount of bowls of Mac-and-Cheese, making it all the more clear that Arin wasn’t kidding when he mentioned her quirks. Though Lorelai wasn’t going to complain, this was more food than she had seen in a long while, and it tasted delicious! 

Seeing Suzy and Arin interacting with the family, it seemed so nice. Suzy’s face was so bright, so full of life, reminiscing with her siblings and her parents. Lorelai hadn’t said much, partially overwhelmed by the newness of everyone and everything. The front door swung open, a couple of teenagers entering, loudly laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Two girls, two boys, must be the cousins Gam-Gam was talking about. 

“Kids!” Virginia, who was the oldest of the Berhows, beamed excitedly, “Got a bunch of snacks, I see?” 

“Yeah, they were having a deal over at the Shell .” The first girl that walked in spoke. She was tall, with jean shorts and a tight patterned tanktop, a trucker hat hiding her obviously dyed red hair. “Aunt Suzy, Uncle Arin!” She beamed, happily rushing inside to greet the last of the family. 

A boy came scooting in, an AC-DC shirt and jeans on, messy brown hair, came waltzing in next, a bag of spicy chips in his hand, “Yoooo! What party did we miss?” 

“None, Marc Anthony.” Marc Sr. sighed, fully reclined on the couch, “Did you really need that big of a bag?” 

“Yuh-” was the only response, a pinch full of long chips being stuffed into his mouth, “We got the tickets for tonight, is that okay?” 

“Thought you kids were goin’ on Saturday?” Gam-Gam spoke up, making her way over to give each of her grandkids a hug and a kiss.

“It was cheaper to get the ones for tonight since it’s a weekday.” The second girl, with dark brown hair and a hoodie three sizes too big spoke up, accepting her grandmother’s hug with a bit of too-cool reluctance. 

Gam-Gam hugged anyway, beaming happily, “You bought one for your little cousin, right?” 

With that, the four kids finally looked over at Lorelai, who was sitting quietly at the dining table. Lorelai felt her face turn hot, her lungs no longer remembering how to function. The four kids stared at her, tall and healthy and confident. If it was anymore clear that she wasn’t related to these people, it was just in stance alone. “Guys, meet Lorelai. She’s our daughter! Aaaaaaaand it's her first time in Florida!” Suzy interrupted the silence, smiling brightly as she looked over at Lorelai, offering a reassuring smile. 

There were a few more moments of silence before Marc Anthony spoke up, “What’s wrong with you? Are you like, okay, or somethi---HHHHH!”

The redhead smacked the back of his head, “Are you stupid?! What the hell is wrong with you!? Don’t just ask a girl that! No wonder you’re a loser! Yes, we did make sure we got an extra ticket!” 

“Be nice, Katie!” Virginia frowned, Marc Anthony rubbing at his head. Katie looked at her cousin, making a mocking face before sauntering over to Lorelai. 

“Can she go, Aunt Suzy? Gam-Gam told us to buy the ticket for her, and you said she’s never been to Florida before so it would be just awful if she missed the Fall Fair!” 

Suzy gave a sympathetic smile, “She can go, but that is entirely up to her.” 

Before Lorelai could speak, Katie intervened, “Well, Lorelai, you have to go! We even bought you a ticket, so you wouldn’t want it to go to waste! But, you can’t go to the county fair wearing that, so you can borrow some of my clothes, and we’ll put your hair back so that it doesn’t get messed up! You know how to swim, right?” 

“Uhm, uh…Yeah..?” 

“See, she said yes! C’mon, I’ll let you borrow something from my suitcase!” 

With that, Katie took Lorelai’s hand, dragging the girl towards the back of the house. Lorelai swore she could almost hear Arin say, “Looks like Katie found a new Barbie Doll?”

Chapter Text

4:30 PM

“Now, if this doesn’t fit you, I simply don’t know what will! We’ll just tighten the straps as tight as they go!” Katie was on the other side of the bathroom, the three other teens were in the adjacent bedroom. Marc Anthony, Justin, Samantha, Katie. Her brand new shiny cousins, who at this moment, she couldn’t tell if they really liked her or not. She was the most confident in Katie, who had spent the past thirty minutes throwing clothes at Lorelai to make her ‘acceptable looking enough for the beach’ . 

“Uhm, okay…I-I’m sorry, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Lorelai stammered as Katie opened the door, her arm sticking in through the crack with a one piece bathing suit and skirt cover in tow.

Katie tossed the fabrics in a meaningless direction, Lorelai catching them as the girl closed the door, “Of course I do! No girl can go to the beach in jeans! That’s just dumb!”

Lorelai could hear Justin speak up, “I wear jeans to the beach-!”

“ No one cares, Justin ! Try that on Lorelai, we’ll make it work. It’s okay if something happens to it, I don’t even like that one anyway!” Katie insisted, Lorelai looking down, laying the fabrics on the cloth. The one piece was bright pink, with bold orange hawaiian flowers, and a long matching skirt that had a slit in it. The outfit seemed a bit much for Lorelai, but she didn’t really want to disappoint her new cousins. 

She threw on the final outfit, the fabric soft but stretchy. The straps were a little loose, the skirt needing to be tightened, but truthfully, Lorelai was done trying on clothes. This was good enough, and if it wasn’t, she would simply force it to be. Lorelai swung open the door, the skirt tied on as tight as she could possibly make it, “How’s this?” 

Katie was beaming, the other heads popping up to look over, “That’s perfect! Orange is your color!” The fiery red-head beamed, walking over and tightening up the straps as much as they could go, “This is much better isn’t it? What about her hair, what should we do with it?” 

Samantha had stood up, going over and squeezing past the bathroom so that she could gather up some hair supplies, “Maybe a half-up, half-down? You’re not tender-headed, are you?” she asked, her voice high like Suzy’s. She was a natural brunette, with long straight hair accompanying an even longer hoodie that hid whatever excuses for fabric the girl called shorts. 

“Tender headed? I don’t know what that means- OWWWW!!!” Lorelai jumped out of Katie’s hands, stumbling away. Her head was throbbing, the brush having felt like a boiling hot rake. “What the hell was that?!” 

The two girls frowned, Samantha speaking up, “Well, I think we know our answer. Why don’t we just leave it down then? Sorry about that Lorelai!” 

“Yeah…maybe..maybe don’t touch my hair…” Lorelai held the back of her head, the two boys laughing. She could feel her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment, but she didn’t address it. 

Before the boys could say anything, Katie and Samantha squealed, “ SHUT UP! OH MY GOD, YOU’RE SO ANNOYING!!!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4:40 P.M

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Suzy asked sweetly, the kids standing at the driveway of Gam-Gam and Gampy’s home. She was gently petting Lorelai’s hair, smoothing out the few frizzy strands. Gam-Gam had given Lorelai a small fannypack, half filled with random snacks the older woman insisted the girl would need. 

Honestly, Lorelai was not the most confident about this. She didn’t really know her cousins , she didn’t know the fair or Florida. “They bought me a ticket, the least I can do is go with them.” 

Suzy sighed through her nose, the smile not leaving, “Okay. But, if you’re uncomfortable, just call me or Arin, okay? Just say the word and we’ll pick you up, you don’t need to explain to yourself.” She soon opened her own wallet, fishing out a few twenties and putting them in Lorelai’s bag, “This is for any fair costs. Call us if you need anything.” 

Lorelai nodded, Arin walking over from where he was with the older cousins, “Have fun, okay? I expect a full report on your adventure, ‘kay?” Arin grinned at the girl. When she nervously smiled, he put a strong hand on her shoulder, “It’s gonna be fun. And here, take a sweater, we may be in Florida, but it can get cold here-” He had taken off his sweater, handing it to her with a smile. 

The girl simply nodded, soon hearing the car honk, “ Waiting on you, Lorelai! ” Marc Anthony yelled, her cheeks growing embarrassed. With another nod and a small, ‘ bye! ’, she was rushing off in borrowed sandals, slipping into the small four-door car. 

Suzy and Arin watched as the car backed off and went speeding off, a weird stillness in their chest. There was worry bubbling, a warm yet ticklish feeling in their heads. The Berhow cousins went to the Fall fair every year and the two had never really minded or thought too much of it. Yet now, with Lorelai in the car with them, there was concern laced within each thought. 

Marc Anthony isn’t the most careful driver…

What if she gets lost? 

What if they accidentally forget her and she gets scared?

What if she gets hurt!?

Jean had come up behind the two, to their lack of awareness, putting a hand on both their backs, “Welcome to parenthood! I’ve heard you’ll be worried for the rest of your lives, so start investing in hair dye, no?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:20 P.M

The fair was something Lorelai hadn’t ever seen before. The sky was like a watercolor portrait, swirls of bright pink and orange and blue creating such a breathtaking little portrait. The smell of the ocean tickled at Lorelai’s nose, her hair feeling more and more frizzy by the second. The fairgrounds extended before the actual entrance to the beach, but with the amount of stands and party-goers, the beach seemed just as involved with the fair as the boardwalk. 

Lorelai rubbed her arms, feeling out of place as youthful fairgoers squealed and laughed, forming big crowds and lines. Katie held her arm, already beginning to lead the group deeper into the fair, “Alright, we all have to go on the Gravitron before it gets too crowded, and then we can hit the Scrambler and the Superman!” 

“We’re hitting up the Love Machine right?” Justin asked, already eyeing some kind of overly fried food, adjusting his Tampa Bay Rays hat. 

“Uhm, I-I don’t mean to be a douche or anything but,” Lorelai hesitated for a moment, eyes wide as her head darted around at every new brightly colored stimuli, “What the hell are these names? A-and when does food come in..?” 

Samantha chuckled, “Ohhh, yeah, every fair ground has stupid names, it's the best part! Don’t worry, the more you go to these things the more you know what to expect. And for food?” She chuckled again, eyes wide, “No no, don’t eat until AFTER all the intense rides. You don’t wanna puke your guts out!”

“Noo, you can eat whenever! Sami just remembers the time she puked and had to call her Mommy!” Marc Anthony teased, Sami swinging her hand to try and hit her cousin. 

“Shut up! My god! Don’t you have someone else to harass?!” 

Justin frowned, “I was told I had to stay by y’all this year!” 

“That’s because Lillianna’s brother tried to beat you up by the Bumper Cars-”

“Who..?! What?!” Lorelai stammered, still being partially dragged by Katie. 

Katie shook her head, “Don’t worry about it, someone who goes to our school. Justin’s an idiot. Now shut up and let's go, everyone! It’s gonna be crowded!” She didn’t even look back as she began dragging Lorelai deeper into the fairgrounds. Lorelai followed, clashing music blaring in the air, smells of all kinds of foods she couldn’t place, bright lights and flashing colors lighting the ground as if it was daytime. 

And as the cousins predicted, the Gravitron ride that they were so adamant wouldn’t be crowded, wasn’t all that crowded. “See, I told you!” Katie teased Marc Anthony, her hand never leaving Lorelai’s forearm. She then turned to the younger girl, her smile devilish, “You’ve never done this, right?”

“No…No, I’ve never done a fair-” 

“Good! This is going to get you hooked! If I could, I’d ride this ride like, five thousand times!” She giggled, rushing to the empty spot in the line, Sami in tow. As much as the boys were supposed to stay with the girls, they had already vanished. Yet, neither Katie nor Sami seemed all that worried, so if they weren’t going to make a fuss about it, Lorelai would stay quiet. 

In fact, she stayed mostly quiet as the girls chatted amongst themselves, the line rather fast in piling as many people in the UFO shaped dome as possible. Katie, Lorelai, and Sami all stood cramped together against the gym-mat walls, Katie quickly grabbing her phone. “Where’s the seatbelts?” Lorelai asked, her heart beginning to pound the longer they stood against the walls.

“Oh, there’s no seatbelts. The ride spins and sticks you to the wall. Picture, picture!” Katie wrapped her arm around her cousin, her hand extending to get a picture of everyone. Lorelai forced a shy grin on her face, her cousin snapping what felt like thirty pictures before beaming happily, “Perfect!” 

Lorelai straightened herself out, keeping her arms locked to her sides. She could hear the ride churning, the metal mechanisms waking up. The operator’s voice was barely audible, shouting out safety protocols so loudly and so fast that Lorelai couldn’t register a word before loud electric guitars began playing. 

“NOW GET READY TO SPIN, SPIN, SPIN!!!” 

And with that, the machine began to slowly turn, Lorelai’s nails digging into her palms as the force slowly built in her chest. Churning and churning, the ride began to pick up speed. She shut her eyes tightly, the strobe lights and music becoming more vivid as the speed increased, her body growing stuck to the wall. 

“LORELAI!!! SAMI!!!” Katie called, Lorelai finally opening her eyes no bigger than a squint. Without saying anything more, Lorelai could feel both of the girls reach for her hands, gravity going against them as they finally interlocked thin fingers, Lorelai squeezing back.

“NOW UP!!!” Sami squealed, and with labored, stiff movements, the girls began to lift their arms, hands locked together. Lorelai couldn’t help but laugh, the sensation of force going against their arms tickling her muscles in a way she hadn’t ever experienced before. 

Suddenly, as their arms lifted, the small cushions they had been suctioned to slid up, earning a hyena laugh from Lorelai. “AHHHHHHH!!!” Neon lights of all colors strobed in the light, loud rock music accompanying the screaming and laughing. The girls kept their arms up, beginning to once again move them against the forces of nature. 

“AAAAAND DOWN!!!” With their arms hitting down, the girls fell back down, more screaming escaping their lips. Even with the pressure pushing against her chest like mighty weights, Lorelai couldn’t stop smiling…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:20 P.M

“Oop, Katie posted a snap!” Jean was sitting on the couch, Suzy and Arin right by her side. The two parents, despite not being parents for all that long, had spent most the night worrying and fretting. It seemed like from the moment the wheels of Marc Anthony’s car left the driveway, the two of them were watered down to anxious messes. 

“She did!? Let me see! What is it?!” Suzy grabbed her sister’s phone without hesitation, clicking the Snapchat account with her teeth clenched. Jean, unsurprisingly, was the only aunt deemed cool enough to have the kids’ accounts friended. Arin leaned over his wife’s shoulder, eyes wide as the image flashed on the screen. First, a picture of the three girls, lit up by bright purples and greens, clearly in a ride of sorts. 

Arin sighed a big sigh of relief, “Oh thank god, she’s not lost-!” He smiled, the picture of the three girls smiling washing a sweet feeling of relief over his shoulders. “She’s covered up, good!” He pointed his finger at the hoodie she was wearing, “Good, this is good.”

“Wowww, Arin, you really sound like a Dad! I don’t know how many times I heard that one growing up-” Jean teased, lounging more on the couch. 

Gampy frowned, “Because you kids were always seeing just how short every piece of clothing could be. I didn’t even know they could make jeans that short on the hips-!” He gruffily responded, adjusting in his recliner.

“I really think you guys are working yourselves up over nothing. They’re going to be there for a while and they’re going to be fine!” Suzy’s brother, Marc Sr., stepped forward, placing a hand on both their shoulders, “It sounds like you’ve got a good kid, she’ll be fine.” 

Suzy couldn’t help but click through the pictures, seeing the kids throughout the fair. One of all of them, clearly right after some kind of water-ride, soggy yet grinning, lit up by warm fairground lights. Another one of just Katie, then a clip of the boys screaming with shrill voices on another spinning ride, then another video of all the kids on a ride together, hands in the middle to cause the seats to spin.

With each artifact that featured Lorelai, Suzy could feel her heart slowing down with its pace. Her girl was okay, smiling and beaming, unharmed and not worrying. At some point, her hair had been pulled back, a big wad of curls behind her head, showing just how thin she was. “On the plus side, Marc Anthony and Justin will have her try every disgusting fair food they can find, so she’ll be getting the true Floridian experience.” Jean grinned. 

Before Suzy could tap anymore, Jean snatched her phone back, “See, she’s alive and happy. You have succeeded in your parentage. And look, you’re letting her go without adults at fourteen! You’re way more trusting than Virginia was!” 

Suzy frowned, “Wait! Were we not supposed to let her go?! Di-did we fuck up?” 

“No! No!” Gampy spoke up, “No, you keep her trapped all day and she’ll be restless and bored and divided from her cousins. Lettin’ her go was good! That’s the right choice! I let you kids run around all the time, and you’re all normal and alive and good. Independence builds character.” He didn’t bother opening his eyes, his hands folded over his stomach, “She’s bein’ a kid and she’s bondin’ with her family. You’re doing fine!” 

Marc Sr. couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yeah, we were fine all the time, never hiding anything.” 

“Stop scarin’ your sister!” Gampy shot back, “Bad secret keepers if they keep postin’ those little pictures. Stop it.” 

Arin looked at Suzy, “I mean…this is good. Normalcy, that’s what the social worker kept telling us to make. Going to the fair with your cousins is normal…”

“But what if she gets hurt or lost? It’s a big place and she’s never done something like that before..!” Suzy tapped her foot, still a bit worked up. 

“Then she gets hurt and lost, and she finds her cousins or a fair medic and deals with it. And then she’ll call you or come home and tell you about it while laughing!” Jean playfully pushed her sister, “They’re still bouncy at fourteen. In an hour, I’ll let you have the phone again to see the pictures. But you have to be calm before I can do that-!” 

Suzy frowned, “I won’t be calm until Lorelai comes home in one piece!” 

“I never thought I’d see the day where Snappy Suzanne would become a worry wart-” Marc smiled, watching his sister take a deep breath in an attempt to prove how calm she was. 

“I will be calm once she’s home in one piece. Now accept it or else my foot is going up your ass-!” Suzy gave her brother an annoyed face, a loud sigh escaping from Gampy. 

“Good to know nothin’s changed…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7:16 P.M

The kids had kidnapped a red picnic table, various hot junk food scattered on the table. Lorelai had been dragged to what felt like every ride imaginable, from ones that shot you into the air to ones that spun to ones that got you wet to ones that had pyrotechnics, and it was only now when they decided to actually eat . 

“A staple of the phair, Lori-” Marc Anthony spoke in between bites of chilli-fries, “Is food! Yuhr tryin’ everythin’.” With a big swallow, he wiped his face with a napkin, looking around the table for what he could torment his little cousin with, “Here, here! Okay, I’ll give you ten bucks to try this.” He grabbed a paper boat, dragging it over. Neon red disks sat in the middle, the smell being a mix of ‘dear god’ and old oil.

“Ewww, what is that?” Lorelai looked down at it, her intended meal of a gyro and fries offering more comfort than the radioactive delectables. 

Katie groaned, “Don’t make her eat that! Make Justin do it!”

“Nuh uh, I had that like, two years ago, that was awful!” Justin shook his head, a fried Snickers bar in his hand. 

Marc Anthony giggled devilishly, “Okay, okay, so-” He pushed it towards Lorelai, “These are Devil Oreos. It’s a deep fried Oreo, right, but the batter is made with Hot Cheetos. It’s good, I promise don’t listen to Justin he’s stupid-!” 

“What?!” Lorelai’s eyes widened, her stomach churning just at the thought, “Why would someone do that..?” 

“Why not?!” He argued, “Ten bucks to eat one of them! I swear on my grandma, dude!” 

Lorelai frowned, “Not ten! That’s not enough to deal with the health consequences of whatever…that is-” She took a bite of her own food, leaning away from the boat of Devil Oreos. The gyro was much more worth it. 

“Ugh, twenty dollars then! In cash!” he popped out his wallet, pulling out a twenty and waving it in her face, “It’s literally yours, just eat one.” 

“I’d do it. Get an easy twenty!” Katie smirked, finishing off her burger. 

Lorelai stared down at the bright red disks, frowning. She contemplated for a few moments before sighing, “Fine-- But I’m aiming my puke on you-” She picked up a fiery ball, shutting her eyes tightly and popping it into her mouth like a gumball. 

The girl’s face contorted, the artificial spice and fake chocolate meshing in what could only be described as the worst way possible. There was tanginess and sweetness in all the wrong places, the texture like a wad of mushy clay. The rest of the kids cheered, Sami ranting, “That’s so gross, I can’t believe you’ve done that!!! Oh my god, that’s crazy! You are crazy!!!” 

Lorelai swallowed, immediately drinking her Cherry Coke to remove the obnoxiously awful taste. “What was that?! How do you eat that?!” She whined, the spice aching at her gums. 

Marc Anthony was cackling, handing his cousin the money, “I didn’t think you would actually do it! No one likes the devil oreos, it’s a dare food! But, fuck yeah, you did it! Better than Justin anyway!” 

Justin laughed, “Fuck offfff, Marc!!!”

The laughing, the cheering, it made a smile slowly creep on Lorelai’s face, a giggling beginning to escape her lips. It was different, it was new, to feel so naturally accepted into a group of people similar to her age. They didn’t have to outwardly say ‘we see you’ , they didn’t have to outwardly say ‘you are one of us’ , it was just a silent presence that weaved its way into every interaction. Even the dare of eating gross, overly greasy food, seemed to have a filter of acceptance over it. 

If that acceptance was true…

Lorelai could live with the Berhows being her cousins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

7:28 P.M

They had moved from eating junk food, all hogging around a fair game booth, bar stool seats uncomfortable and sticky. Small water guns lined each seat, a series of differently shaped and positioned targets shaking and jittering. “Alright, the rules of the game are simple!” The man on the side instructed each of the kids, “Whoever knocks down the most targets wins, and depending on the points is the size of the prize! 100 gets a small prize, 500 is a medium prize, 1000 is a large prize! No firing at me or at each other! You’ll each have a minute to score as many points as possible!”

The kids all nodded, Marc Anthony looking at the rest of them, “All y’all gonna lose, do you know how good I am at this game?!” 

Lorelai was staring at the goals, her eyes focused on the targets at hand, “Be good all you want!” She smiled, her hands tightly gripping the handles. 

“We’re gonna kick your ass!” Katie cheered.

With that, the buzzer went off, water shooting out of each gun in a surprisingly pressurized stream. The kids were aiming wildly, sprinkles of water spraying on all of them. The booth was quickly filling up with laughter and squealing, the kids fighting over who would claim each target. “Don’t steal that from me, Justin!!!” Sami demanded, trying to fight off his water gun with her own. 

“I don’t see your name on it!” The boy laughed back, clearly having much more fun teasing his cousin than playing the game. 

“You two are the worst!” Katie laughed, “Lorelai, you’re not escaping so easily!” 

“I don’t have to escape you if you can’t-- YESSS!” She had sprayed a rather large target of a waving clown, the cutout spinning alongside some sad honking, “catch me!!!” 

Soon enough, the bell rang, the water guns cutting off and locking in place. The game master sauntered over, checking everyone’s score with a prize pole in hand. Sami and Justin had earned about fifty points, having spent most of the time fighting each other rather than shooting targets. Marc Anthony had earned a delightful 500, Katie with a whopping 900. 

Lorelai? She had scored exactly 1000 points, the rigged nature of the game setting in. Lorelai didn’t realize at first, grinning brightly, “Woah!!! I was right there! That is--wow! I didn’t think I did that well!” 

“Ohhh, well, but not well enough. You actually need, uh, 1001 points to win the grand prize! Sorry, you must’ve misheard me earlier!” The game master sleazily smiled, shaking his head with a few ‘ tssk tssk tssk’ s.

Lorelai frowned, “O-Oh, well, that’s oka--” 

“Woah! You didn’t say that! You said 1000 points, not 999, not 1001, 1000!” Katie argued, her lip hanging upward with disgust. 

“Rules are rules! That doesn’t say 1001, that says 1000! It’s not my fault you didn’t make it over the line.” The man shrugged, looking at Lorelai with half-lidded eyes.

Sami leaned over, “IOh bullshit! You’re just mad she got the prize!!” 

“Sorry, kid! Rules are rules! I made that very clear in the beginning!” He held his hands up, leaning back on the prize counter. 

“Dude, it’s five against one! We all heard 1000, you said 1000!” Justin crossed his arms. 

And before Lorelai could say anything, could insist it was perfectly fine that she didn’t win anything from the game, her cousins began chanting, “Give her a prize! Give her a prize! Give her a prize!” 

“uhm, wait it’s fine--” 

“Give her a prize! Give her a prize! Give her a prize!”

“guys, it’s fine, rules are ru--”

“GIVE HER A PRIZE! GIVE HER A PRIZE! GIVE HER A PRIZE!”

“Okay, okay! Fine! God, kids these days, so awful!” The gamemaster yelled, grabbing his prize pole with force before roughly tugging at a prize, sending it toppling down. A large, bright blue frog with long appendages was thrown into Lorelai’s arms, big enough to be uncomfortable to hold yet weirdly light and squishy. “Get lost! Pricks--” 

With that, Katie took Lorelai’s arm, the kids rushing off away from the man, laughter escaping their lips. Lorelai wasn't quite laughing, but the absurdity of everything, she couldn’t help but let a confused giggle escape her lips. 

“U-uhm, were we the assholes there?” Lorelai frowned, “I feel bad-” she held the obnoxious frog.

“Don’t feel bad! His whole job is to scam people, but we won’t be scammed!” Katie argued, leading the group down the fair grounds. “Besides, you followed the rules fair and square, his fault he tried to change it at the last minute.” 

Lorelai nodded, a small smile on her face, “Oh, well, uhm..thank you.” 

The group of kids continued walking, the fairgrounds just as lively as ever. Though, it was clear the kids’ energy was quickly depleting, having been exhausted from the shenanigans. Lorelai took notice of the people at the fair, from the families to the cliques of girls to the couples roaming the park. Everyone seemed so happy, as if they had nothing to worry about while they were there. 

Yet, as Lorelai turned the corner of the exit, her cousins ahead of her, talking, laughing, spitting teasing remarks, she noticed someone. 

A man was smoking, leaning against a light pole. He was lean but lanky, hunched over his cigarette and looking down at his watch. Messy brown curls, deep sunken eyes with dark circles around them…his beard was messy…his eyes were hazel. 

She froze, her heartbeat spiking. Lorelai hadn't even realized that she froze, her knees felt wobbly and her mouth felt dry. It's him, it's him, it's him.

Lorelai wasn't going to confirm it, she wasn't going to walk up and ask. Fight, flight, or freeze, those were the three responses to negative stimuli. And it was clear that she had chosen to freeze at that moment. 

He inhaled his cigarette through his mouth and put his nose, focused more so on whatever was in his hands rather than the girl staring at him with tears in her eyes. And in her own reality, she wasn't really staring at him anymore. 

She felt like she was back in that house. Back where everything was a fight, back where stepping on the wrong floorboard would become a painful punishment. 

Maybe it didn't even matter if it was him or not, she wasn't going to dare step closer, dare utter their shared name. He looked like him and really, that's all that mattered. He looked like him, the monster that hides under the bed and in the closet, the monster that seemed to be in every dream, every thought, the monster who could appear behind corners or doors. 

Men like him, their presence could even escape prison grounds. 

“Lorelai, are you good? If you’re gonna barf, that's fine-” Katie had approached from behind, earning a yelp from Lorelai. 

“DON’T-- S-sorry, sorry, uhm,” she had to consider the question again, “No-no, not gonna barf. Uhm, no, I did feel a little nauseous, but I, uh, wanted the cold air before I got in the car-” 

“Well, are you okay?” 

“Yeah…Yeah..” When she turned her head back to the lightpole, the man had disappeared…

Chapter Text

November 25th, 2014

11:45 A.M

Lorelai didn’t have the heart to tell anyone about what she saw at the fair. 

She just couldn’t get the words out. She let her cousins do most of the talking, sharing details about how wonderful the rides were, how gross the foods were, the little carnival games and the sunset on the beaches. And she kept that story. The fair was normal and safe and for once she herself was normal. It wasn’t so much to ask to desire being normal, to, for once, not be haunted by her past, right? She and that man had the same name, that was more than enough of a reminder for her. 

The morning breeze warmed her skin as they drove up what felt to be the longest drive-way known to man. It was made of dirt, windy and unstable. Yet, Arin traversed it like it was the back of his hand, chuckling and reminiscing about how he learned how to reverse on this driveway. Lorelai couldn’t help but feel anxious, she had already met so many people in the span of a week or so? It was quickly becoming a little too much. 

Nevertheless, she would power through, power through enough to make it to the trip. Then she would just…politely ask to hide in her room, recharge after a whirlwind of newness. 

She stepped out of the car, keeping behind Suzy and Arin. It was a farmhouse, with potted plants cluttering the front deck, a series of wind chimes blowing janky, unharmonious songs in the wind. The gravelly road crunched underneath their shoes as they made their way up to the worn stairs, Arin taking charge by opening the front door. 

There was some barking, a dog’s nails scratching against the wooden floor as it wagged its tail, “Maxy!” Arin cheered, accepting the dog’s jumping with strong arms. 

Suzy giggled happily, stroking the dog’s head, before calling out, “Mom, Dad! We finally made it!” 

Lorelai stayed quiet, watching the dog happily lap slobbery kisses on Arin’s face. “You haven’t aged a day, buddy!” 

A man’s footsteps soon came after, “Max! Arin, can you not encourage my dog’s bad habits?” The man was tall, tanner, but with the same dark brown hair as Arin. Though, he was clean shaven, more defined muscles than Arin. 

“Hey, bro!” Arin let the dog down gently, going to his brother and hugging him, “And don’t yell at me for your dog! He’s so cute, I can’t help it! I’m like his fun uncle! Let him do all kinds of bad stuff!” 

“Speaking of fun uncles, I take it this is my new niece?” Nick eyed the girl up and down, tilting his head with a smirk, “She looks kinda like Suzy! Was it intentional orrrrr?” 

Lorelai straightened out, giving a meek wave as Suzy looked at her, too, “Huh! I guess I could see it! I’ve never noticed that!” She beamed back at the young girl, then turning back to Nick, “This is Lorelaiii! 

He chuckled, “So, she’s mute?” 

Before Lorelai could speak up, another female voice emerged from the house, “NICHOLAS! BE NICE!” The voice was slightly raspy, yet oddly comforting despite the fact that Lorelai had no idea who this woman was. Soon, she came out, ashy grey hair tied back into a frizzy braid, a tan face with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. “Ohhhh, aren’t you such a sweetheart!” Her voice had a certain aged twang to it. 

It made sense why she was a therapist. 

Maurette grinned at the younger girl, though by looking at the young lady’s face, she seemed to clock the sense of overwhelmed anxiety pretty quickly. Still, her smile remained as she spoke, “You must be Lorelai! I’ve heard a lot about you, good things, sweetheart. Say, Arin, honey, Daniel and your father went down to the store to grab some last minute things.” 

“Danny’s here..?” Lorelai looked over at Arin, eyes slightly widening. 

“So she doessss tal--- OWW!” Nicholas rubbed his arm, Maurette having smacked it so fast you would’ve missed it in a blink. 

Arin laughed at his brother, smiling, “Yeah, Danny’s coming over for a day or two, I said so in the car but, uh, looking back, you must’ve been asleep!” 

Lorelai didn’t even realize the gentle smile on her face at the mention of Danny, of someone familiar. In her short amount of time with them, she really did enjoy Danny. He was nice, airy, always smiling or dancing or laughing. If happiness could be personified as a mortal man, it would be Danny Avidan. 

It was relieving to hear the name of someone familiar. Maurette seemed to notice this, smiling, “I’ve always liked him with you two, him and that Wecht boy fit in real nicely. Anywho, Lori, honey, I’m Maurette, Arin’s mom. Since you're the first granddaughter, you can call me whatever you like!” 

Lorelai’s eyes widened slightly, the anxiety of being put on the spot washing over her, “Uhhh, uhm…I-I…Having grandparents is still a new concept, so I don’t really have anything at this moment for you.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Havin’ a grandchild is still a new concept for me too! Oooh, this is so excitin’. Say, while everyone gets situated, why don’t you come out and show you some of the horses we have out back, give you a mini tour of the space? Get some fresh air, it can be a bit stuffy here.” Maurette spoke sweetly. 

“Yeah, yeah! You can’t miss them, Lorelai. Go enjoy yourself!” Suzy beamed at the girl, who simply nodded and began following Maurette. Maurette was quick to put a gentle hand on Lorelai’s shoulder, guiding her throughout the house. However, Lorelai quickly realized that Maurette hadn’t said anything as they made their way to the backdoor, slipping through the backdoor and into the warm sun. 

Maurette led the girl down a dirt pathway, finally speaking after a few moments, “You looked pale, like you needed some fresh air.” Her voice was gentle as she led the girl to the barn, taking a few moments to struggle with the big door. “The doors often get stuck, especially if it’s rainin’. I’ve built up quite the arm strength.” 

“A-are the horses in here?” Lorelai asked, watching the woman pry open the old, rickety doors. 

“No, no, I wanted to show you the barn first. It’s a quiet space, I go when I need a place to think. I wanted to show you in case at any time you needed a place to run to, you can come here. It’s secluded and away from everyone, so it’s a good place to go when you just need a break.” She allowed the young girl to peer in. It was a relatively normal barn, empty but filled with supplies to take care of the property. “Sometimes, even just the walk down here is enough.” 

Lorelai nodded her head, looking up at the woman and nodding, “O-oh! Okay, uhm! Thank you…may I ask why you’re offering this?” This was Maurette’s place to come relax, so why was she suddenly offering up that sacred space. 

“Becuase in there, you looked stressed out of your mind. And it’s fair, you’ve been put in a really awkward and stressful situation. New things, even if really great, can still be stressful.” Maurette explained, Lorelai just nodding along. “What can we do to make your time here less…anxiety inducing?” 

Lorelai frowned, the two beginning to slowly walk down to where the horses were actually kept, “Uhm, oh, no, no, it’s not you guys, not at all. I’m uh--, It’s all just really new. I just need a bit, but I’m okay, I promise. I’m sorry.” 

Maurette looked at the girl for a few moments, as if she was taking mental notes in her head, before nodding her head, “of course, whatever you need. Here’s the horses! We only have two now, we recently sold a few and are going to get some more to train.”

“Train? Like, show ponies?” 

“No, no, therapy horses.” Maurette smiled, leading her to one. A large, brown horse huffed as they approached the fenced area, beautiful yet so sturdy. “We specialize in helping Veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but that’s not the only clientele we help. Anyone can use a therapy animal.” 

Lorelai nodded, “That’s really cool…I, uhm, actually have PTSD…” Lorelai wasn’t entirely sure why she was opening up about something like that. Maybe it was the fact that Maurette had specialized in people with her condition, maybe it was because Maurette had such a sweet voice that simply begged you to pay attention, or maybe it was out of desperation to get some of her worries out of her. 

Maurette gave her that same examining look, “Well, that’s okay. There are plenty of people who live with PTSD and live great, happy lives. It’s a unique journey for everyone, but it’s not hopeless.” She stepped closer to Lorelai, “Here, lemme see your hand, sweetheart.” 

Lorelai nodded, her chest feeling a little warm as she allowed the older woman to take her hand. With a click of her tongue, the horse came wandering over, huffing with a swish of his tail. “This is Bogart, he’s our less social horse. I’m actually a little surprised he’s willing to come up without us goin’ in there.” She chuckled, and even if Lorelai didn’t entirely believe her, she still smirked along anyway. 

Bogart looked down at the two girls, clearly expecting something like a treat. He lowered his head, Maurette leading the young girl’s hand to press against the horse, “He loves scratches. Ain’t that right, Bogie?” The horse huffed back, Lorelai slightly jumping. After a few moments of scratching the horse’s nose-bridge, Maurette let go of the girl, stepping away a few moments to grab something. The horse wiggled it’s nose, adjusting so that her hand would scratch more places. 

“Wow, he really likes you!” Maurette smiled, handing the girl a small brush, “Gently, start from the base of the hair and brush down. He’s very self absorbed, he likes looking good.” 

Lorelai couldn’t help but chuckle lightly, beginning to brush the horse’s mane as explained. The horse huffed again, ear twitching. He seemed to be enjoying the attention, which made Lorelai feel nice inside, surprisingly enough. There was a silence between the three for a while before Maurette finally spoke, “Arin texted me that you went to the Fall Fair. How was that?” 

The girl couldn’t lie, she was a bit preoccupied with the horse to tensely examine each of her words like she normally would, “Uhm, it was fine for the most part. I rode stuff, I’ve never actually been to a fair before so it was pretty exciting..!”

“Ohh, when I was a girl, I loved the fair. Even when the boys were small, I’d always make Lloyd take care of the horses so that I could take them. Why was it just okay?” 

Lorelai smiled at the idea of Arin being young, demanding his mother to go to the fair. Though, at the question, her brushing slowed, “Uhm, I just…I just got a little freaked out, it’s not the end of the world..”

The horse huffed with displeasure from her slowed movements, Lorelai quickening her pace back to how it was originally. Maurette frowned, “I can imagine a lot of things at the fair freaked you out. Lots of bright lights, people lettin’ out their inner banshees.”

“Yeah, yeah, it was a lot to take in. Uhm, but overall, it was pretty cool..!” Lorelai responded. Maurette could tell she was hiding something, keeping something away from Maurette. But, the older woman knew not to push just yet. It wouldn’t be fair to Lorelai to be targeted by someone she hardly knew. 

She would have to wait for Lorelai to open up to her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:30 P.M

Danny was fucking terrified. 

Not about being at the Hanson house, he had been there plenty of times. Everyone’s family knew enough about their relationship. They knew that Arin and Suzy were a couple, that Brian and Danny were a couple, and that the four of them made some kind of super couple like it was the Voltron of dating. Most people were used to it, say for the occasional question here and there. 

What he was afraid of was Lorelai . 

It wasn’t every day you were asking for someone's permission to be their dad. Especially when they technically already had one. As far as that young girl knew, her new parents were Arin and Suzy, and Arin and Suzy were perfectly monogamous and ordinary and typical. Granted, it was Danny’s idea to hold off and tell her, but it was still scary that today was the planned day. 

Everything has gone perfect planning wise. Grandma Ruth wouldn’t be coming until the day after Thanksgiving, so the Avidans would celebrate then to not leave out Ruth. That meant Danny could spend some time with Arin, Suzy, and Lorelai after he popped the question. It wouldn’t be like he would ask such a big thing and then turn around and dip. 

If she said no, he would accept that. He could accept that. He could still date Arin and Suzy without being a parent to Lorelai, no problem. 

Danny was also concerned about Brian. 

Brian had stayed up in New York, he had some business to attend to just before the holidays. Danny could handle the potential rejection. Brian…

Brian had been so excited when Suzy and Arin brought up potentially adopting a child. He got his nose deep into parenting books, child psychology books. He had talked and talked and talked about potential things to do, potential ways to bond. Danny was excited too, of course he was, but he could just tell Brian’s heart was in it far deeper than Brian’s heart had ever been in anything. 

Danny offered to ask the question first. His heart was in it, absolutely, but he could handle the rejection. He could ease that rejection, ease the pain. He would bear the heartbreak if it meant helping Brian be a little more stable. 

Despite only knowing Lorelai for such a short time, Danny felt himself loving her. He wondered if the warmth in his chest when he saw her was the same that his mother felt when she saw him and his sister. Whenever he thought of Lorelai, he thought of her bravery. She was thrusted into such a strange situation: being taken in by two complete strangers after years of torment and bad luck, moved to an entirely new part of L.A, into a new family with new ideas and new expectations. 

Yet, her head was up. She was clearly trying to make the most of it. She talked to people, she didn’t hide away or unsheath her claws. Even when you could tell she was uncomfortable, when she was scared, she still carried on. She made jokes, she asked questions, she spoke to people. There was still a fire in her soul that wasn’t stomped out yet. Beneath the shields and anxiety was a girl who wanted out. 

Danny wanted a part of that process. 

He hadn’t thought a lot about being a parent. Well, he had put an inkling of a thought into the idea of being someone’s dad. Though, honestly, he hadn’t really thought he’d be a good dad. He wasn’t the most serious guy in the world, he didn’t know if he was mature enough to be a parent. He had a feeling he would be the type to say the wrong thing or not take something as seriously as he should. 

But, seeing Lorelai made him want to try to subvert his own personal expectations. 

It gave Danny enough courage to be standing in the Hanson backyard, holding his breath to find the confidence to go up to Lorelai. There was an old tire swing in the backyard, Lorelai sitting on it while watching the clouds slowly float on by. Arin had sent her out, hopeful that Danny would have the chance to talk things over before she waltzed her way inside. 

Danny couldn't believe he was doing this. He hardly realized his feet were moving until he felt the uneven Earth dip and rise below him. She was facing away from him, hair gently wisping in the warm breeze. He stopped in the patchy grass, watching her idly swing for a few moments. He could faintly hear the radio from the house, a quiet murmur of music that seemed strangely fitting. Danny wasn’t sure if that was intentional or not.

Tonight it’s very clear as we’re both lyin’ here…there’s so many things I want to say…

He felt his heart tug. With his hands hidden deep in his pockets, he finally spoke, “Hey, Lorelai..!” 

The girl slightly jumped, head whipping back to face the man behind her. Lorelai’s eyes were wide, but they softened slightly at the familiarity, “O-oh! Uhm, hey Dan..! D-do you need something..?”

“Uh, I guess, yeah!” Without much warning, Dan sat down on the grass beside Lorelai, the girl’s eyebrow cocking up, “To, uh, talk to you!” 

“Oooooh-kay..?” Lorelai was looking down at the taller man now. Danny felt awful, he was expecting himself to be a lot more confident in explaining everything…yet, he couldn’t. Nevertheless, the girl tilted her head, offering Dan a sympathetic look, “Well, uhm, go on?” 

It breaks my heart to see you crying. I don’t want to lose you. I could never make it alone…

Dan felt awkward, sitting there trying to ground himself. With each couple of seconds of silence, Lorelai seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable. “Well, uhm, I was coming to ask for your permission about something…” 

“Why do you need my permission?” Her tone was quick, suspicious. 

“It’sgoodit’sgood! Well, uhm, it’s good ideally! Good in theory-” 

“Excuse me? A-are you okay?” Dan was watching her face contort into awkward concern, as if Danny was about to have a heart attack of some kind. “Do I need to call someon---”

“I’M DATING YOUR MOM AND DAD AND IT’S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF-!!!!”

You keep me standing tall, you help me through it all~ 

I'm always strong when you're beside me

I have always needed you

I could never make it alone!

Lorelai stared at him, eyes slightly wide from the surprisingly loud outburst. She wasn’t frowning, but she wasn’t smiling either. Danny was staring back, grimacing, eyes furrowed into a concern, fearful scrunch. His mouth felt dryer than the Sahara. If his heart was beating any faster, he was certain it would shoot out of his chest and run off. 

“Soooo…you guys are swingers or somethin..’?” Lorelai blurted, hands holding the old rope that held up the tire. 

Danny stared at her for a few moments…okay, this was good..! No tears, no disgusted faces…just…upside down pineapples. “Uhm, no-” He couldn’t help but laugh, and he wasn’t sure if it was because Lorelai was funny or if it was his body using his natural defense mechanisms. “No, no, we’re not swingers…Uhm, most people just call it a polycule..!” 

“Uh-huh…well, uhm,” Lorelai blinked a few moments, her head tilted, “Good for you guys! Y’know, that makes Ross’s comment make sense! You…you can’t be Santa Claus though, aren’t you Jewish?” 

“Well, thank you! I’m really glad you’re supportive of---... Lorelai, what does Santa Claus have anything to do with this?” He frowned. Perhaps her and Arin were more related than everyone thought. Bringing up random crap…”Y’know what, I’m not going to ask…the polycule isn’t the only thing I wanted to tell you-” 

She nodded, watching as the man adjusted his position, facing her entirely with his hands now folded into his lap. His throat felt like cotton again, his fingertips ice cold, his arms light and noodly. Danny wouldn’t have been surprised if he had fainted right then and there. Yet, Lorelai was still looking at him, her eyes still gentle. She had every reason to slowly back away and leave him to his nervousness. Yet, she remained.

I am a man who will fight for your honor, I'll be the hero you've been dreamin' of!

Danny did want to do that…A father fights for his daughter, embodies a personal hero for her. He swats off boys and goes to her sports games and hugs her while she cries. A father loves his daughter and would do anything for her. Danny had never been a dad before. Most of his life, he had been a bachelor, qualified to maybe be a cool uncle. But, he wanted to be someone for her to lean on and trust. This girl deserved people to run to, and he wanted to be one of those options. 

“Well, uhm, I…I wanted to know if you would be okay with uh,” 

It's like a knight in shining armor from a long time ago, just in time I will save the day~!

“Me taking on a fatherly role in your life-? Look, you absolutely don’t have to accept it and I’ll back off if you don’t want that, a-and please don’t feel like you have to say yes! It is entirely up to you if you want me to have a parental role---” 

Danny stared at Lorelai, watching her face soften. She was thinking, her eyes flicking away for a few moments as she took a sharp breath. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what she was thinking at this point. But, after a few moments of her staring off into the distance, she smiled softly, “That’s really nice…people don’t usually ask that…they just kinda…” she trailed off, shaking her head slightly to regain herself, “You guys really like asking permission for things.” 

“Huh?” Danny couldn’t help but be dumbfounded. 

“I mean, most of the families that take me in never really ask me if it’s okay. They sort’ve…demand, or insist. Y’know, ‘you’re in my house, you shall refer to us as mom and dad, or Sir and Ma’am. We’re going to make you do all these things because you are ours now.’ Being a ‘foster’ , or whatever we’re supposed to call it, you…you sort’ve become property rather than a person. You guys are, like…the first people who haven’t done that to me.” 

He frowned even more, “I’m sorry, Lorelai…That sounds God awful…” 

“I mean, most people would never ask me if I would approve of them being a parent. They’d just start demanding me around…” Lorelai had a small smile on her face, watching as Danny shuffled to stand up. 

“Well, uh, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never asked anyone to be their parent before. “ Danny let out a breathy chuckle. 

“It’s a nice feeling.” She stepped off the swing, the tire idly swaying as her feet touched the ground, “I think…I think it is okay for you to be that for me. I wouldn’t mind.” 

Danny breathed a sigh of relief, his posture slouching dramatically as held onto his stomach, breathing as if someone had been choking him internally, “Ohh, okay, phew, my god…I-I’m sorry, I-I was just terrified you would be freaked out or uncomfortable and---” 

He wasn’t expecting it. He really wasn’t. He felt bony arms around him, awkward pats on his back. She was hugging him now, her hand awkwardly patting his back. He didn’t say anything at first, truthfully not expecting such a gesture. But, he quickly hugged back, sighing. “You…you look like you need this.” She spoke, hugging tightly. “I…I’ve never hugged so many people before. The Berhows are very into the art of hugging…this is nice, too” 

Danny laughed lightly, a smile growing on her face, “You’ll get plenty of hugs from everyone here, just say the word.” 

They didn’t say anything more. It was relieving…He had never been a parent before, didn’t think of it too much. It sounded terrifying, like he would fail at everything relating to being a parent. But, with Lorelai’s warmth, and his three partners beside him…

Maybe things wouldn’t be so scary. Maybe they would be okay…

I am a man who will fight for your honor

I'll be the hero that you're dreamin' of

We're gonna live forever, knowin' together

That we did it all for the glory of love!

Chapter Text

November 26th, 2015 

4:37 P.M

The Thanksgiving Day festivities had been in full swing for about a good hour now, with the Berhows having shown up to turn the small gathering into a family event. There was so much going on, from football loudly blaring on the television to heavy laughter coming from the kitchen. Groups of people were seemingly everywhere, all talking about different things, all with histories and pasts that made it easier to get along. 

Lorelai had been seated on the living room floor, wearing that flowy blue tank that Gam-Gam Berhow had insisted. She may have been matching with the rest of the Berhow cousins, but she hadn’t seen them very much during the festivities. They were all in a group once again, buried in another room playing video games and sneaking snacks. 

Lloyd and Gampy Richard, along with Suzy’s brothers, were in the living room, talking amongst themselves and commenting on the football game. The Detroit Lions were in the lead, the Philadelphia Eagles having just scored a nice touchdown that seemed to get the room excited. Lorelai didn’t really understand this sport. She had been around it, sure, but she never paid enough attention to really get it. She was silent on the living room floor, eyes idly glossing over the television every once in a while. 

She could feel herself growing overwhelmed as the day was going. It had dawned upon her that there was so much going on everywhere. There was seriously not a single space within this house that wasn’t bustling with life. Of course, Lorelai knew that was a good thing! It wasn’t like it was bad that everyone around her was having a good time and celebrating with their loved ones! Not at all! In fact, it’s weird she wasn’t going out and being more social! What type of fourteen year old sits on the ground instead of talking to anyone anyway?! You’re not even watching football-!

Though, when there was a poke on her shoulder, she glanced up, noticing Lloyd’s smiling face and circular glasses, “What are ya’ doin’ down there, sweetpea? Shouldn’t you be down there with your cousins?” 

Lorelai had actually really liked Lloyd. He seemed more shy around the girl, probably on account of being used to raising boys, but he was still kind, the sillier half to Maurette’s toughness. “Well, I don’t wanna bother them. If they want me, th-they’ll come get me.” 

“Pshh, supposed’ ta make your presence more known. Aren’t you the youngest, anyway? That means you’re supposed to annoy them!” He smiled, his tye-dye shirt surprisingly distracting. 

“I wouldn’t want to bother them.” She smiled softly, the older man shaking his hand. 

He leaned back in his chair, his hands going towards a glass container on the end table of his recliner. He popped open the lid, grabbing a few brightly wrapped balls from the container and tossing them to her. “Well, at least snack on somethin’. You look so sad down there by yourself! Say, ya’ mind fetchin’ me a beer from the kitchen? I’ll give ya more of these if you do..!” 

Lorelai looked down at the candies, fancy gold lettering in the middle of them. Lindt Lindor. Truthfully, she really didn’t know what these were. “Uhm, okay…what is this and why do I want more..?” 

Lloyd blinked a few times, “It’s only the most delicious chocolates in the world! You’ll want more once ya’ eat one, trust me.” 

She looked down at the three in her hand, simply nodding, “Alright, then…” She stood up, awkwardly holding the chocolates as she made her way out of the living room, towards the kitchen where Suzy, Maurette, and Gam-Gam were standing. Food had been out for a while, it was the turkey that everyone was waiting for. 

“Ohhh, there’s my Lori-Rory!” Suzy, who seemed to be more giggly than usual, announced happily, arms immediately wrapping around Lorelai in one of her many hugs, “Are you having fun!?” 

Lorelai let Suzy hug her, she had grown very used to the action, and in many ways, very pleased with them. She still held the candies, looking towards the two other women, “Uhm, yeah, I guess so? I’m supposed to fetch a beer for Mr. Hanson.” 

“You mean Lloyd? Honey, you don’t have to keep callin’ everyone like they’re your business partners.” Maurette frowned, shaking her head as she went into the fridge, pulling out one of the glass bottles of beer, “You’re supposed to be comin’ up with names for us, remember?” 

“O-oh, right.” She frowned slightly, nodding her head and taking the bottle from Maurette. “Uhm, I guess I really haven’t figured that out yet…” 

Suzy gave a sympathetic smile, gently squeezing the younger girl’s arm, “Well, that’s alright honey. You don’t have to be so formal though, ‘kay? Relax those shoulders, go snack on stuff, enjoy your first Thanksgiving!”

Lorelai nodded once again, letting out a sigh. As much as she wanted to relax and to go with the flow, the truth is, she was getting overwhelmed and subsequently exhausted from all of that tension. It felt like a pot of spaghetti slowly boiling, albeit the tap was still filling the boiling pot with more water. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:00 P.M.

Dinner had gone off and concluded without much of a hitch, at least in Lorelai’s eyes. She ate until she felt nauseous just to make sure none of the adults would look down at her. She picked at pumpkin pie, scooped potatoes and green beans, chewed at Turkey until it tasted like mush. Really, she had never been used to having so much food at once, she almost didn't know what to do with herself. It felt rude to finish when there was still food on the plate, it felt rude to say no to the copious amounts of scoops. 

But, it was behind her for the most part. The cousins and her were standing outside in the back of the Hanson farmhouse, Gam-Gam excitedly clapping her hands, which Lorelai would learn occurs every time pictures of the cousins happen. The shirt Gam-Gam had given her was silky, too cold as she stood awkwardly next to Katie. Nate was fixing up his camera, crouched in the unkempt grass and trying to capture the cousins with the right lighting. 

“It's cloudy today! It isn't supposed to rain is it?” Nate had yelled towards his back, where a few family members had gathered to watch the rowdy models. 

Lloyd, almost with a cartoonish grin, chuckled, “Nate! You've lived here your whole life, boy! You know it doesn't rain in Florida!”

Meanwhile, the cousins stood, lined up, occasionally pushing each other with their elbows or whispering comments to make the others hold in evil snickers. 

“Psssst, you're so tense-” Katie whispered, leaning into Lorelai's shoulder. 

Lorelai frowned, “I’m not tense-!” 

“Untense people don't have their hands behind their backs. They also aren't restless.” Katie noted, making Lorelai suddenly incredibly aware of her body's betrayal of the cool attitude she was trying to muster. 

The curly haired girl continued to frown, “I-I’m not nervous. I just…usually I don't have my picture taken unless it's for records.” 

“Records?” 

“Y'know, like uhm, adoption advertisements, ID cards.” 

“So they really advertise you guys? Like puppies?” 

Lorelai frowned even more, “No, uh...no, no- I-I sorry-” 

Katie raised a brow, almost as if she had already grown used to Lorelai’s demeanor, as if it was as normal as being sleepy after turkey, “Well, you're going to have to get used to the pictures if you’re a part of this family. Gam-Gam takes photos every time we're all together, especially during holidays or summer beach visits.” 

You're going to have to get used to the pictures if you're a part of this family. 

A part of this family. 

She felt her heart tense tightly, but Lorelai didn't say anything more. It was building up inside, like a tense rubber-band ready to snap. Lorelai couldn't tell if they were ignorant or overly hopeful. And it hurt, because as much as she wanted to finally make that lunge of acceptance, of letting herself be a part of the family, it was hard. 

At dinner, she had become aware of how much she wasn't able to connect. While cousins and siblings shared stories of their rich lives, of broken bones and adventures with friends, Lorelai couldn't do any of that. It seemed like for all the time everyone else spent living, she spent house hopping, being taken in and rejected over and over again. She had lived a life of scarcity and survival while everyone else smiled up at the clouds. 

And now, she was standing, taking photos that she knew would inevitably be altered or cut in the future to get rid of the cousin that wouldn't last. And the editing of her existence wouldn't be malicious, no no, it would be because it's natural to be uncomfortable with the temporary family member. 

God, she should've just said no to being included. Feigned a serious stomach ache, found a place to hide and fall asleep and hoped they'd forget about her because she wasn't in their line of sight. 

“Lorelaiiiii! Ground Control to Major Tom!?” Nate had hollered, Lorelai snapping out of her trance, “Wow, she's a natural. Really has that spaced model look down pact.” 

“S-sorry-” Lorelai frowned, but Nate seemed to smile with assurance. 

“No worries! Scoot closer to Katie and smile! Teeth or no teeth, doesn't matter!” Nate was covered by the large camera, Lorelai not entirely sure whether to stare directly at the barrel or off at the distance. Nevertheless, she did as instructed, smiling a gentle please-don’t-think-i’m-uncomfortable-i’m-just-graceful smile. After a few snaps, Nate sighed, “Here. Lorelai, kiddo, you're kinda short! Why don't we have everyone sit on their knees, Lorelai in the middle on her butt?” 

She turned to her cousins, watching them get into place before settling down. She did look strikingly different in comparison to her cousins. Curly hair when theirs was naturally straighter, short when they seemed tall, an olive-tan as opposed to a blushed sun-kiss. 

“Ohh, Lori is just like my little Suzy! She didn't grow tall until she was sixteen! Blossomed like a weed!” Gam-Gam clasped her hands together, beaming ear to ear at the sight of all of her grandchildren together. Lorelai couldn’t help but internally grimace. The evil little voice in the back of her head was scoffing at this point, they’re just trying to make you feel better, you know. They feel so sorry for you! You’re skin and bones and you’re making everyone else look bad. 

She sat crisscrossed in the grass, the two boys directly behind her, the two girls on each side of her. Lorelai felt guilty being in the center of a family she had no right to, but she was the youngest, the newest family member. It’s not like this would really matter, as much as she wanted them to be different from her other houses, what were the chances? 

They were young, and young people weren’t the type to be ready for her. They’d realize quickly.

The sun had vanished now, replaced by dreary dark clouds. Nate snapped a few more pictures, Lorelai smiling through the exhaustion of her own mind. Though, soon he sighed, “That’s all I can do this year, Tills! The clouds are not in my favor!” He stood up, Gam-Gam happily rushing over to view the pictures. The kids all stood up, rushing over to view themselves. 

Lorelai stood up, dusting the dirt off her pants. She needed some space, some room away from everyone. Between that man at the fair and the overwhelming sensations of a first family dinner, she just…Maybe if she was alone for a little bit, she could calm her brain down, not ruin the holiday for everyone else. Without saying much, she slipped away from everyone, trekking down to Maurette’s barn. Just a little while, that is all she needed. Maurette said she could go in at any time, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

6:25 P.M

The weather had shifted. November marked the beginning of the dry months for Florida, so while it wasn’t uncommon for the weather to be a little bipolar, this seemed off. Arin stared out the window, watching the dark clouds push out thick droplets of rain. It was hard and loud enough to slam against the roof of the house, making it seem like the sound of the rain was inside. 

Lorelai was still at the barn, this deeply worried him. She deserved her space, but he couldn’t help but grow worried over the severeness of the storm. The wind was growing intense-r by the minute, the trees swaying. If the horses had to be put up to keep them safe, then surely he would have to bring his daughter in. “I’m going to go get her.” Arin announced to no one in particular, but he needed to say it. 

“Bring a jacket. She might just not realize how bad the storm is.” Suzy sighed softly, squeezing his shoulder. She looked out towards the barn from the window, “I’ll grab you an extra one. She’s probably freezing in that tank-top.” When Suzy returned with the girl’s sweater, Arin took it, bundling it close to his chest and throwing up his hood. He pushed through the back door against the wind, feeling the chill through his hoodie. Then again, it was his fault he willingly wore a non-waterproof coat outside. 

Arin made quick work of the path, lightly jogging against the wet mud. His mother’s barn, more of a storage shed than anything. It always used to give him the creeps as a kid, looming over their house like some kind of monster. It was always dark, always covered in dust and cobwebs, always creaking in the wind from the old wood. As a little boy, he used to cry and cry when his mother would enter, afraid that she was swallowed by the monster that was the barn. 

He spent most of his life avoiding it. Of course, he knew it wasn’t a monster, knew it was just some creaky old wooden barn. But, it still gave him chills on his spine, still made his heart a little wobbly whenever he thought about going in. Just his luck that his mother would offer it up to Lorelai as a sanctuary. 

“Lori? Why don’t we come inside the main house, the storm is really pickin’ up! I brought you a jack---” 

Arin could make out sniffling, as if tears were causing Lorelai to choke on the air. He slipped in, somewhat grateful to the monster barn for shielding him from the cold rain. He could see her, curled up on one of the old chairs, shivering from the temperature drop. She glanced up at him, puffy eyed, frowning, “Woahh, woah! Kiddo! Hey!” Arin took charge, rushing over and crouching down beside her. 

She covered her face, wiping at her eyes. Had the storm shaken her up? Had the pictures been too much? He didn’t cause this, did he? Yet, Lorelai shook her head, her voice so small, “No, no. I-I’m fine, really-” she excused, though Arin wasn’t an idiot. 

A crackle of thunder hit down, the two jumping at the sound. “Lori, you can tell me what’s wrong. You don’t have to keep it in.” His voice was soft, his hand resting on the arm of the old rocking chair. 

“You wouldn’t get it- It’s stupid and stupid hiccup things don’t need to be shared.” Her face made Arin think of an angry cat, gentle yet hairs standing up on all ends. Her fingers were pressing under her eyes, as if that was going to stop the big tears from falling. 

The wind hit against the barn, the storm must’ve been intensifying. Arin didn’t trust the barn to keep them sheltered, but she was unmoving. “It’s not stupid if it's upsetting you! Stupid things don’t upset people, normal things do! Important things!”

She squeezed her eyes shut, clearly growing more and more annoyed, “It’s fine! I-I just needed some time to myself- I-I’m fine!” 

“No you’re not, Lorelai! And it’s okay to not be okay! You don’t have to do it alone!” He knew he was being pushy. As each push came out, he regretted it. But, he just wanted in. He hated being unable to help her. Arin thought back to the morning where she smacked him, the fear in her eyes, her lungs clawing for any sense of air. Her mind hadn’t even caught up to the fact she wasn’t in her own nightmare, they were both helpless to the traumas that had their teeth sunk into her. It was like watching a dog maul its stuffed toy, viciously thrashing her around. 

They were both helpless against it. Arin hated it. He hated that he couldn’t help her, hated that she was so insistent on dealing with that rabid dog alone. He didn’t want to be helpless, he didn’t want her to be helpless. If she could just let him in they could---

SLAM!!!

Wood rattled against wood, more wind thrashing against the walls of their barn. Arin jumped to his feet, his eyes locked on the girl. Her hands were pushing against her skin, one bright eye gleaming terror in the moonlight. The barn door had slammed shut. 

“N-no big deal…Here, why don’t we go inside? It’ll help make you feel better..” Arin set the coat down awkwardly on her, almost like a makeshift blanket, before making his way over to the door. His hands pushed against the door, beginning to push. 

He could hear Lorelai quietly mumbling some sort of fearful inquiry, adjusted in the seat so that she was perched, watching Arin with that same fearful intensity as she did back in the bedroom. “It’s all good, just an old, heavy door. My mom says I happen to be pretty strong-” When his joke didn’t land, he frowned, pushing on the door again. 

Push, push, push. 

Nothing. 

He adjusted his stance, alright, more upper body! No big deal!

But nothing. No matter how he twisted or stood, how he pushed or kicked, the door wasn’t moving. There was so much mud outside from the onslaught of rain, the wind wasn’t helping.

“Wh-wh-what’s wrong with the door, A-Arin..?” She frowned, wiping at her face, her breathing growing shakier with each moment Arin didn’t answer. 

Arin didn’t want to say the words. He knew her history, she was already so upset. How was she going to open up with this?

“Uhm, well, kiddo…We’re, errhm, uh….we’re stuck in here…”