Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bright sunlight shone in through cracked windows, its golden pattern scattering across the floor like the ripples of a lake. Time was but an ambiguous term in their world, but if Dazai had to guess, it’d be just about 10 AM. He wouldn’t know exactly. A functioning clock wasn’t something he’d really seen in just about eight years.

“Dazai.” A familiar voice behind him called, dragging him out of his thoughts. The boy turned over to face the person who spoke his name: A man with short, brown-red-ish hair and dark, kind eyes. “Odasaku.” He greeted him. “Do you need anything?” Oda sighed, stepping closer to the window and looking outside. “Just checking on you, though I do have something you could do for me if you’re not busy.”

Dazai crossed his arms, following the man with his eyes. “Not like there’s much to do in this desolate mess of a world.” He spoke and joined in on looking out the window. Beneath them, the vast view of a broken world expanded until destroyed buildings melted into one with the clear blue sky. It was an unfairly nice day. Which was probably nothing out of the ordinary considering it was summer. But still, the serene weather did not fit with the state of everything around them.

Oda took his answer as a prompt to keep going. “I thought I heard something outside last night. Someone or something knocked over a metal barrel. I got up to see if it was an animal. But when I did reach the place the sound came from, there weren’t any animals nearby. What I did see, however, was a humanoid shadow hastily disappearing around the corner of the building. I ran after it to see what it was, but the shadow disappeared without a trace.”

Dazai hummed in contemplation, recalling that he also heard something that night. Though he figured that Oda was dealing with it and instead stayed inside with the other orphans, just in case. 

“Do you think it was a subject?” The bandaged boy asked, hands gripping onto his own shoulders in slight concern that their safe space might be in danger. Oda shrugged. “I couldn’t tell, as I didn’t see anything but a shadow. But I did find something near the barrel.” Dazai’s curiosity spiked up as he turned to look at the older man who was holding something in his hand, reaching over to show Dazai. The boy took one look at the small object and identified it as a bracelet. It looked hand-made. A silver chain, decorated with small pearls and seashells. Strange. The ocean, the place where one could find this type of seashells, was quite far away from the run-down hospital they used as their makeshift base.

Dazai looked at Oda with the silent question of whether he had any ideas. Oda shook his head. “I don’t know who it belongs to, nor where it came from. This is what I wanted you to look into. We need to determine whether this is another person or a subject, and whether they are a danger to me, you, and the other kids. Can you go look around and investigate? Even if it’s not a threat, I’m fairly certain the owner of this bracelet would like to have it back. Considering it looks hand-made, it might be really important to someone. No one in this cruel world wants to lose the few little things and trinkets that remained with them from before everything happened.” Dazai couldn’t argue with that, considering he still carried the pocket knife he received from one of his caretakers prior to the catastrophe that unfolded when he was nothing more than a seven year old kid.

Dazai took the bracelet from Oda’s hand and tucked it safely into one of his jacket’s pockets. “Understood. I’ll see if I can find who this belongs to. Who knows? Maybe there’s another group of survivors nearby.” Oda gave him a gentle smile and reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair softly. “Thank you. I appreciate you taking care of this. I’ll watch over the kids in the meantime. Dinner’s at sunset, so try coming back till then.” Dazai nodded and watched as the man left the room that was considered his own to go play with the orphans. A minute later, he walked out himself, making his way through the silent, abandoned hallways and down the stairs, walking past the reception and out through the broken glass doors.

It was warm outside, but not too unbearable. The hottest weeks of summer have yet to come, but it shouldn’t take much longer. Dazai wasn’t exactly looking forward to spending days upon days holed up in the building, waiting for it to get colder. He wasn’t a fan of summer, considering that besides his multiple layers of clothes he was also wearing bandages at all times. But over the years, he’d gotten used to it.

His first stop was the place Oda mentioned he found the bracelet at. And sure enough, there was a knocked over barrel on the ground. One look determined that said barrel was empty. Dazai stood up, looking around, imagining himself in Oda’s situation. It didn’t take long to find the corner he was talking about. Dazai stepped closer, mindful of the ground to ensure he wasn’t missing any obvious hints such as footprints. Though, looking for footprints wasn’t quite an ideal way of going about this. The past weeks had been far too dry to leave the ground as anything but broken earth covered in dust.

Fortunately, footprints weren’t the only possible indication of a human being having passed through. As soon as Dazai walked around the corner, his eyes caught onto something bright and orange. It looked almost like solidified fire. The bandaged boy took a step closer to the speck of color. 

It was a strand of hair, stuck to a metal pipe that usually transferred water from the roof into the ground. Whoever the hair belonged to, they must’ve passed by in a rush. Dazai felt a small smile of success creep up on his face as he freed the strand to take a look at it. Gotcha.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the hair was indeed human hair. It didn’t resemble the structure of any local animal’s fur at all. Plus: It was stuck just a little lower than Dazai’s line of sight. At a human height, even though this height belonged to a human that was more on the short side. Or they were a kid, that would also make sense. But what would a kid do all alone in a destroyed, abandoned ghost town with high danger levels?

There usually weren’t many humans around. It was only Dazai, Oda, and the five children the latter had taken into his care. The humanoids that usually appeared were mostly subjects. And subjects were dangerous beings. Dazai could only hope this one wasn’t a subject, or at least a subject that could be reasoned with. He’d always been better with his words than his fists.

Dazai snapped out of his thoughts and looked down. And there, he saw the next hint he could follow. This one being much clearer and easier to follow. It was blood.

The blood on the ground looked dried up, but not old. It still had the telltale red color of being fresh. It must’ve dried out because of the excessive sun. But it did leave a clear trail to follow. Whoever the hair belonged to, they were seemingly hurt.

Good. Dazai thought. Hurt people, subjects or not, are usually easier to deal with. And so he followed the blood as it led him away from the hospital further into the city. The person must have quite the will to live, considering how far they’ve dragged themselves despite actively bleeding injuries. Dazai almost dared to say he was impressed.

Turns out, he didn’t have to search for too long, as the trail of red led into what seemed to have been a grocery store once. The big letters that served as an entrance sign were barely holding themselves up on the wall, twisted cables leading to the belief that it used to glow with LED lights. The door stood slightly ajar and Dazai lost no time quietly slipping in. He kept his footsteps light and as silent as possible to not startle whoever disappeared into this store.

For a second, he took his time to stand completely still, holding his breath, willing his heartbeat to go so quiet, it almost disappeared completely. He stood and listened.

And then, he heard it. Quiet panting. Quiet, human panting that sounded like someone was going through excruciating pain while trying to keep their breath steady. It was a person. Dazai had found an actual person. A person who was obviously suffering, but trying to stay quiet. Someone who didn’t want to be found.

Well, Dazai had found them anyway, and it wasn’t like he planned on hurting someone. Unless they hurt him first, that is. And so, he followed the remaining blood around what looked like it used to be the pet food aisle.

The moment he stepped closer, the person’s breath hitched. Loud, and afraid, and Dazai suddenly felt bad for them. He heard a dragging noise, like the person was trying to crawl to safety, but the thump that followed just a moment later pretty much confirmed that they simply couldn’t. Which was understandable, they did lose a lot of blood already. Dazai took a deep breath, and then he stepped around the aisle.

There, slumped against boxes of dried dog food, sat a boy. His hair was the same color of the sunset. A bright, rich orange, though it might be even brighter if it hadn’t been covered with blood, dirt and dust. His eyes were blue but looked dull and disoriented. However, there was still a spark of angry life in them as he stared at Dazai. Despite his blood-soaked clothing, despite the shaky hand pressed to his stomach, trying to hide an obvious stab wound, despite the disorientation, he still looked ready to fight.

Dazai had never seen a prettier person. And, yea, he might not see many people besides his little group, but he was sure that even amongst all the others out there in the world, this boy was the most beautiful.

Said boy opened his mouth in an attempt to say something, but all that came out was a pained whine. He flinched violently, his eyes clenching shut as he sucked in a shaky breath, as if to stabilize himself.

“If you’re here to drag me back to these government assholes, please just kill me instead.” Were the first actual words he spoke. Dazai blinked in confusion. “...Government assholes?” He repeated, and the boy opened his eyes again to stare at him. There was something calculating in his gaze, as if he was analyzing whether Dazai was a potential threat or not.

“What. You don’t work with the government? What else would a guy like you do out here?!” He asked. Dazai was perplexed, to say the least. “Which government? I thought the entirety of Japan got destroyed eight years ago? There’s barely any survivors, much less government officials who are competent enough to stay alive for more than a week under these circumstances.”

That seemed to do the trick, as the boy stared at him in disbelief for a moment before visibly relaxing the tension in his muscles. “...So you really have no idea, do you?” He asked instead. Dazai shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” For some reason, his words made the strange guy laugh. Then, his laugh turned into a sudden cough that violently shook his body. More blood splattered over the ground. Dazai was really starting to worry even the slightest bit about the occurring blood loss.

“Well, if you’re not with the government, who are you? And what are you doing here?” Redhead asked. He looked short and tiny. Dazai was thinking of giving him the nickname ‘Chibi’. He really had to at least try and get this guy somewhere safe where he could recover.

“I’m Dazai. Osamu Dazai. And I live out here.” Chibi stared at him, bewildered. “...You live out here? Alone?” Dazai shook his head. “Not all alone. I live with a group of orphans and their caretaker. Staying together to protect each other, y’know? And who may you be?”

Chibi seemingly contemplated whether he should tell Dazai his name. Dazai made sure to plaster a smile on his face to look less like a threat. The other really had to hurry up and let Dazai take him to their hospital if he wanted to not bleed out in this grocery store. “I don’t even need the details. Just your name would be enough so I at least know what to call you.”

Another moment was spent in silence, then a decision was made.

“Chuuya. Chuuya Nakahara.” He finally replied. Dazai grinned. Chuuya, Chibi, same thing. “Nice to meet you, Chuuya!” He held out one bandaged hand. Chuuya, reluctantly, reached out to shake it. “Sure. Whatev–” 

The second he touched Dazai, he immediately crumbled, falling forwards, right into the brunette’s chest. Dazai’s heart missed a beat in a sudden bout of panic, but one look confirmed that the other boy wasn’t dead, he was merely passed out. Dazai stared in confusion, trying to figure out what to do with the bundle of chibi in his arms.

It didn’t look like the small redhead would wake up anytime soon, so waiting here wouldn’t do much but put him in more danger. So instead of doing that, Dazai carefully scooped the other up into his arms. Bringing him back to the hospital where he could actually treat him would be much better than anything else. With a freshly acquired Chibi in his arms, the bandaged boy left the grocery store, on his way back to Oda and the others.

—

Dazai made sure to be careful. And he successfully brought Chuuya to their base without making any of the bleeding worse. The stairs proved challenging, but he could hardly use the lift, considering their electricity was barely functional enough to cook food with it. It was the best Dazai could do when Oda tasked him with fixing some cables years ago.

Speaking of Oda, the man was still busy with the kids. Dazai could hear him read a story to them from his room. He felt bad for interrupting them, but he couldn’t exactly wait. This was a bit of an emergency. Apparently, Oda had heard him anyway as he apologized to the children momentarily, telling them he’d be back. Then his footsteps moved towards the door.

“Dazai? That you? Are you already back?” Dazai held Chuuya just a little tighter. Oda stepped out into the hallway. “Found anyth–” He immediately cut himself off as he realized the situation.

“Oh.” He spoke, lowering his voice. “Is he–” Dazai shook his head. “He’s alive, but he’s badly injured. I couldn’t exactly leave him there. Can you fetch me a first aid kit while I put him in my room?” Oda nodded, expression grim, and disappeared a few doors away in what they considered their storage area. Dazai didn’t lose any more time as he kicked open his own door and gently deposited the injured redhead onto the hospital bed he usually slept (or laid awake, failing to fall asleep) in. He hoisted himself up onto the bed, sitting next to the other boy, starting to carefully remove his jacket and shirt to take a better look at the injury.

It definitely wasn’t pretty, and having to peel off clothing that was partially stuck to the body due to all the blood made him empathize way too hard with how much it would hurt Chuuya. Fortunately, the boy didn’t wake up. He was out cold. Though his breathing and heartbeat were still somehow steady, even if slow.

When Oda returned with a first aid kit, some towels and water, Dazai already successfully managed to take the clothes off of the tiny redhead's upper body, inspecting the damage. “Where’d you find him?” Oda asked quietly as he handed Dazai a wet towel. “Followed a trail of blood to a grocery store and there he was, slumped against an aisle.” He replied as he cleaned the wound. It was clear that someone intentionally stabbed him with a knife. It was deep, but fortunately not anywhere near vital organs.

Oda, already aware of what came next, handed Dazai the items necessary for stitching up the injury. “Could he tell you anything before he passed out?” The older man asked. Dazai recalled their strange little conversation. “He said something along the lines of the government trying to find him? I don’t know. Maybe he was just loopy due to the blood loss.” Oda watched, contemplative. “Might be. Or he knows something we don’t. We should ask him once he wakes up.” Dazai nodded, absent-mindedly, as he soon finished his treatment. Oda was the one who taught him how stitches and everything else worked. They were on their own out here, no medics around. So, after taking Dazai in, the man had taught him all he knew about medicine and survival in general. Dazai was really grateful for the help.

Once the biggest injury was taken care of, Dazai checked the rest of Chuuya for any other problems, but aside from a few scratches and scars that were old enough to have healed up, he couldn’t find anything. With a sigh, he finished cleaning the boy, sat back up on the bed and dropped the towel into the water bucket Oda brought. The water was red by now, dyed with Chuuya’s blood. Oda handed him a sweater. It was one of Dazai’s own. It might be a little big but he wouldn’t want Chuuya to wake up half-naked to a stranger sitting next to him. Dazai maneuvered the sweater onto the boy and placed him back down.

“He’ll need food and water once he wakes up. He’ll also need someone to watch over him. Can you do that? I need to get back to the kids and explain why I left them so suddenly.” Oda asked. Dazai simply nodded as he made himself comfortable in the empty space of the mattress, next to Chuuya’s head. “Good kid.” Oda commented, patting Dazai’s shoulder. “I’ll make sure to bring food and water for you too.” With that, he took the water bucket and dirty towels and left the room. The medical supplies were still stacked on top of the drawer next to the bed, just in case. Dazai resigned himself to sitting in his room and watching over the Chibi. So, to pass time, he grabbed his notebook and a pen and busied himself with some doodling.

—

Night had already fallen when Chuuya finally stirred. Silver moonlight was illuminating the dark hospital room. Dazai was staring out of the window next to his bed, looking at the stars. The redhead had slept through the entire day into the night. Just three hours earlier, Oda left some bread and dried fruits on a tray next to the medical supplies so Chuuya would have something to eat once he woke up, before bidding Dazai a goodnight and putting the younger kids to bed. Dazai had eaten his dinner way earlier when it was still light outside.

A pained groan came from the body sleeping next to him. Dazai turned his head over and silently watched as blue eyes flickered open. They looked brighter than when he met him in the grocery store. Resting definitely did some good.

“...Where–” Chuuya started, slowly turning his head to look around. Dazai caught his gaze and smiled. “Look who’s finally awake!” Chuuya nearly jumped up and into the ceiling. Dazai pressed him down gently, hand on his chest. “You’re still injured. Don’t move around so much, you’ll end up ripping the stitches otherwise.” At that, Chuuya sat up again, but slower and more careful. He looked down at his own body and lifted his (Dazai’s) sweater up to inspect the place where his injury had been.

For a moment, it was quiet. Dazai, for some reason, found himself waiting with anticipation. Chuuya looked up at him again. “You did this?” He asked. His voice sounded raspy. Dazai grabbed the water bottle and handed it to the other boy who inspected it for a moment, smelled the water, and then drank. “Yup. And it worked. It stopped bleeding. The stab didn’t hit any vital organs so you should be fine. Just rest for a while and be careful when moving around.” Chuuya eyed him strangely, like he couldn’t comprehend that Dazai was actually trying to help him. Then he sighed and looked around. “Where are we anyway? I’m pretty sure this isn’t the grocery store.” Dazai shrugged. “You’re in the run-down hospital I live in. You passed out and I had to treat your injuries, so I brought you here.”

Chuuya squinted at him. “Passed out?” Dazai nodded. “You were supposed to shake my hand as a greeting and then you oh-so-rudely decided to pass out! Unbelievable.” There it was again, that angry glint in Chuuya’s eyes. Dazai found it to be an expression he started to like. “Oh well I am oh so sorry for not staying awake after I lost like half of the blood in my body.” He grumbled. Dazai couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, you’re awake now, so it should be fine!”

Chuuya handed the almost empty bottle back. He must’ve been thirsty. It made sense, considering how much damage the injury caused and how long he slept. Dazai grabbed the tray and deposited it on his own lap, looking over at Chuuya. “Odasaku brought you food. Told me to give this to you once you wake up. Your body needs strength to recover.”

Chuuya eyed the food suspiciously. “Odasaku? Who’s that?” Dazai leaned back against the headrest. “He’s my friend. He takes care of me and the orphan children he adopted when their parents died in an altercation with a subject a few years ago. He’s a good guy, so you don’t have to worry about the food being poisoned.” He explained.

It was at that moment that Chuuya’s stomach decided to grumble. Dazai blinked, surprised, then laughed. “Eat, Chibi. You sound like you definitely need it.” At that, Chuuya whipped his head around. “What did you just call me?!” He growled, offended. Dazai laughed some more. “Chibi. I called you Chibi. Y’know, because you’re so tiny~” Chuuya looked like he was about to punch him. “Shut up, jackass! I’m only 15, I'm still growing!” He yelled. 

That made Dazai pause. Chuuya was 15? Dazai genuinely couldn’t remember a time where he met someone who was his age. It made something in him feel warm in some way.

“Well, I’m also 15, and I’m taller than you!” He exclaimed. Chuuya simply huffed and rolled his eyes before busying himself with his food. “You’re so annoying.” He stated. Dazai opted for an over dramatic gasp. “How dare you! Talking like this to your savior! You should give me a kiss as a reward! Isn’t that how the stories go?” Chuuya just rolled his eyes and reached over a hand, pinching Dazai’s cheek. “There. Here’s your ‘kiss’.” 

Dazai squeaked and rubbed his skin where Chuuya’s hand had just been. “Hey! What was that for?!" Chuuya snorted. “That is my form of thanking you. Now let me eat in peace you bandaged fish!” Dazai, despite grumbled complaints, let him. He had a feeling this guy would be funny to have around. Maybe he could stay?

Now, now, Dazai. Don’t get ahead of yourself. An annoying voice in his head provided. Shut up. Dazai told his own brain.

Chuuya finished his meal in silence and then pushed the tray back over to Dazai. “Haven’t really had anything proper to eat in weeks. Remind me to thank that Odasaku guy tomorrow.” Then, the redhead yawned. He looks like a cat. Dazai noted.

“Still tired?” He asked. Chuuya gave him a court nod. “Haven’t really slept much either. Ever.” Somehow, Dazai could relate to that. “Well then go ahead and sleep some more. And if you have more energy tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to Odasaku and the kids.” Chuuya slipped back down into the bed. “What about you? Gonna sleep too?” Dazai simply shook his head. “I don’t sleep much. It’s often a little difficult for me. So you just go ahead.”

Chuuya sighed and then, all of a sudden, a hand yanked on Dazai’s arm, dragging him down on the bed. “Bullshit. Go sleep. Try at least. It’s important.” Dazai, completely caught off-guard, could barely process the sudden attack. “But Chuu–” He cut himself off before he could continue his whining. Because the moment Chuuya finished pulling him down onto the mattress, the redhead had fallen asleep again.

“Wow. Guess he really is extremely tired.” Dazai whispered to himself as he stared at Chuuya’s sleeping face. His wrist was now effectively trapped by the smaller’s hand and he somehow couldn’t find it in himself to pull away.

“Stupid Chibi.” He commented in a quiet huff. And then he decided to close his eyes because, since he was already trapped here, he could at least try to sleep.

Somehow, it felt easier this time, slipping into the realm of unconsciousness. Why that was, Dazai had no idea. But within no time, he was fast asleep.

—

Oda couldn’t sleep. The worry about the injured boy Dazai brought in that noon was still present at the back of his head. Has the kid, Chuuya, as he learned from Dazai, woken up yet? Had he eaten something?

Before he could think himself further into this spiral, he decided that a little checkup couldn’t hurt. He slipped out of his bed and quietly left the room so he wouldn’t wake his kids, sneaking over to Dazai’s room and opening the door.

The room was silent. Dazai apparently wasn’t awake and doodling like he usually was at this hour. Oda stepped closer to the bed and let out a quiet gasp at the sight he was met with.

Chuuya was asleep, hand reaching out, latching onto Dazai’s wrist who, to Oda’s positive surprise, was asleep as well. The two boys were curling slightly into one another, sharing a pillow, faces inches apart, breathing in almost uncanny sync.

Oda chuckled to himself in his mind. The Osamu Dazai? Asleep? In another person’s presence? Oda even had to organize a room Dazai could have all to himself because he felt unsafe sleeping with other people around. Something he noticed quite early, only days after he found the kid when he couldn’t get any sleep while occupying the bed across Oda’s own, on the opposite side of the room. And yet here he was, sharing the same bed with another boy. This would surely prove to be interesting. 

Oda couldn’t help himself as he pulled out a camera from Dazai’s drawer, snapping a quick picture of the two boys. Maybe Dazai would be happy for it to exist, or maybe it would just prove to be funny to tease him with. Nevertheless, Oda made a mental note to print this picture out at the nearby, somehow still functional, photo station and add it to his gallery of pictures of the kids he helped to keep safe and raise. He liked keeping some pictures on his person. It reminded him that despite all the chaos in their world, he could still do some good by protecting them and trying to keep them happy and healthy.

“Goodnight you two.” Oda whispered. Then he softly pulled the blanket over the sleepy duo. He grabbed the empty food tray and left the room, closing the door to let them rest. The kids deserved as much.

Chapter Text

The room was completely white. The walls had no texture. No windows. Nothing. The only anomaly was the door and the desk in the middle. A desk with two chairs. One of them was occupied by a small child in a light blue hospital gown, picking at the bandages wrapped around his arms. 

The child couldn’t tell whether he’d been there for minutes or hours. Time wasn’t a factor he could count, as there was no indication like a clock anywhere to be found.

The boy lifted his head, heterochromatic red and brown eyes locking with the security camera placed above the door. It was blinking with a steady, green light. Something that indicated it was running and that someone was watching the live feed of the room it was placed in.

A small speaker rattled to life. A microphone screeched and crackled. The little boy’s hands flew up to his ears to block off the sound that was stabbing right through his overly sensitive brain. A moment later, the horrible noise was replaced by a voice so strangely distorted, the boy couldn’t even tell whether it was male or female.

“Subject ready for confrontation. Bring in A5158 and initiate first contact.” The voice commanded. 

The bandaged boy watched in silence as the door slid open. He didn’t get up. Getting up meant the electric collar around his neck would emit a painful shock. All he could do was look.

A person stepped in. The white lab coat seemed like something belonging to a scientist. The person’s face was just as distorted. Unrecognizable. Like fog wrapped around them so identification wasn’t possible. Or maybe the kid in the room simply couldn’t focus.

What he could focus on, however, was the person pushed into the room next.

It was another boy who seemed to be just about his age. He was small, thin, and had some of the brightest hair the other had seen. His eyes were supposedly just as bright, but they were dulled over with something between pain and distress. The bandaged boy knew the look because it was so similar to his own whenever he looked at a mirror.

“I brought a friend for you. How about you say hello to A5158?” The adult’s voice sounded sweet and friendly, just as unrecognizable as their face. The bandaged boy felt his skin itch uncomfortably. He couldn’t recognize the voice, but he still hated it.

“Hello, A5158.” He complied anyway, concerned that they might hurt him if he didn’t. A5158 walked closer to the table and sat down on the empty chair. “Hello.” He spoke, hands clenched tightly around the fabric of his hospital gown.

The scientist placed down a green ball in the middle of the table. The two children stared at it as the adult brought out a clipboard and a pen. It clicked. And for a moment, the person simply scribbled something down, the scratching of ink being the loudest noise in the room. Then they looked up.

“Commence first confrontation. Is everything recording?” They asked. “Recording and audio clear.” The speaker replied.

The scientist returned their attention to the two children. “A5158. If you’d be so kind?” The child nodded silently and reached out to touch the ball with his hand. The moment he made contact with the object, it was enveloped with a red glow.

The bandaged boy watched in slight amazement as the ball floated up, coming to a standstill in the air. It was flying, and without any wings at that.

Then, the scientist turned to him. “A0. Please stand up and touch the ball.” The boy, A0, did as asked, lifting his hand to poke the ball. The red glow dissipated in a flash of frosty blue. The ball fell onto the table, bounced once, then rolled onto the ground and came to rest a few meters away.

“Test one: Success. Abilities compatible.” The scientist stated and noted it down. A0 felt A5158’s eyes on him, returning the gaze steadily. A question lay in blue eyes, but their circumstances didn’t allow them to speak unprompted. The scientist picked up the ball and returned to the table.

“Again. This time I want A0 to come over to the other side and touch A5158 while the ball is floating. Can you do that?” Mutual nods from both boys. The ball started floating again. This time, A0 walked over and took A5158 by the wrist.

The boy was warm. A0 couldn’t remember the last time he felt human skin against his own. If it even ever happened before. No one ever did as much as poke him. Only if necessary. And then only with sterile latex gloves.

The ball fell again. A0 couldn’t bring himself to let go. The wrist slipped out of his grasp, instead replaced by a small hand wrapping around his own. The hand’s grip was tight, like its owner wasn’t used to human touch either.

“Test two: Success. Abilities upon direct physical touch: compatible. That concludes the first test.” More scratching. A0 made no move to detach himself from A5158. The scientist turned to look at them and, despite not being able to see a face, the bandaged boy knew they were smirking.

“My my. Aren’t you two just getting along so well! I think you’ll turn out perfectly!” Their voice chirped. A5158 tightened his hand. Neither of the boys dared to say a word.

“That concludes the test. The confrontation was successful. The subjects may be released from quarantine and cohabitated in dual confinement. Further plans will be made swiftly. Guards, escort them out and to the cell we prepared for them. Observers: review the footage, write up a detailed report and let the higher-ups know that if all goes accordingly, they’re expected to be ready for usage and dispatch in approximately 12 years.

Two more unknown people stepped into the room. The boys were ushered out and led down through the hallway.

They didn’t let go of each other’s hands. It was the only source of warmth and security in this place.

—

Dazai had no idea what time it was when he felt himself waking up, nor did he remember the dream he had. All he knew was that it was daytime already since sunlight was falling right into his face. He blinked a couple of times, adjusting to the bright surroundings, before any hazy fog around his thoughts dissipated at the sight he was met with. Bright, blue eyes were staring at him, a freckled face framed with ginger hair only inches from his own.

“You really don’t sleep much, do you?” Was the first thing Chuuya asked. His voice sounded clearer. Less raspy and not as tired. Dazai scoffed. “I sleep enough to stay functional. Thank you very much.” Then, he sat up and looked outside. 

The sun told him that it was about noon and Dazai nearly had a heart attack at the realization of just how much he’d slept. He genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he did. He turned over to Chuuya. “How long have you been awake?” Chuuya shrugged as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. His body didn’t constrict with pain, so Dazai counted his caretaking of the injury as successful.

“Not too long.” Chuuya answered. “Figured I wouldn’t wake you up just yet. You looked like you really needed sleep.” And well, not like Dazai could argue with that. So instead, he slipped his legs off the bed and inspected his arms.

The bandages looked like they were about to fully unravel and Dazai quickly tightened his grip on his arm to hide the scars visible where his bandage slipped off. Chuuya tilted his head in confusion. Dazai pretended he didn’t see the look. Instead, he pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the small bathroom attached to his room. “Wait here, gotta deal with these real quick.”

Thankfully, Chuuya didn’t follow him and Dazai was instead left to his own devices, tightening his bandages, making sure not to leave a single part of his usual areas uncovered. A new person just appeared. It made his instincts jump into action. Protect any vulnerabilities. It was a concept he didn’t remember learning, but something that had always been present. Heck, even with Oda it took him years to talk about the reasoning for his bandages.

When Dazai put on his jacket, something fell out of his pocket. Something he almost forgot about after the chaos of  getting the redhead he found to safety. It was the bracelet that started his search in the first place. Chances were that it belonged to Chuuya.

“Chibi?” Dazai called from the bathroom. Chuuya's head snapped around to glare at him. “Would you stop with that nickname already?!” Dazai smiled. “Nope! Hey, does this belong to you by any chance?” He then asked, holding up the bracelet. 

For a moment, Chuuya just stared. Then he rushed over to him and grabbed it, pressing it close to his chest. “Where’d you find that!” He hissed. Dazai was slightly taken aback and lifted his hands, defensive. “Odasaku found it near a knocked over barrel. I was supposed to investigate who it belongs to and that investigation led me to you. So, I assume I’m correct about it belonging to you? Well. You can have it back then.”

Chuuya looked at him, then he sighed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist. “...I guess I’ll allow you to use that stupid ass nickname.” He spoke quietly. Dazai blinked. “Oh wow, that thing must be really important to you then.” Chuuya shrugged and looked at it. “It was given to me by a friend when I was little. It’s been like ten years. I’ve got no idea where he is now or whether he’s even alive. But it’s a nice memory, I guess.”

Dazai hummed in acknowledgement and stayed silent. Memories were precious. He himself couldn’t remember much of his time before the world nearly ended. He didn’t know why. But he still believed that memories could be comforting to some people.

“You wanna go and meet Odasaku and the kids?” He asked instead. “They should be outside at the current moment, probably playing something like hide and seek. I believe you told me to remind you to say thanks for the food.”

Chuuya strolled after Dazai as they left the room. He was still wobbly on his feet, but that was to be expected. At least he could walk without falling over. That already counted as progress. Chuuya did require help with the staircase, leaning on Dazai for support which made the brunette laugh. But then Chuuya shot him a death glare and Dazai decided to shut up, lest the redhead might push him down the stairs and they’d both fall down and break their necks. That would be quite unfortunate.

They stepped out, into the sun. For a moment, they simply stood there and stared at the sky, processing the warmth. The hospital may not have an AC, but the way it was built and isolated made it cooler in summer and warmer in winter.

Dazai looked around and spotted Oda. The man was sitting on an old plastic chair in the shade of a tree, watching over the kids who were chasing each other across what had once been the hospital’s parking lot. Dazai gave Chuuya a nod and then moved over to stand next to the chair and its occupant.

Oda acknowledged his presence with a hum and looked over. A teasing glint could be found in his eyes. “Dazai. You’re awake. Slept well?” Oda didn’t have to spell it out for Dazai to understand that he’d seen them in bed. Instead, the boy swatted at Oda’s shoulder with a pout. 

“Come here, Chibi!” He beckoned over his new friend with a wave of the hand. “This is the guy you gotta thank for the food.” Chuuya moved forwards. Oda watched him with interest. “Good morning to you too, Chuuya. Are you feeling better?” Chuuya threw a quick glance at Dazai who simply nodded and stepped away a little. 

“Much better.” Chuuya stated. “Having that wound taken care of and finally getting some water and food helped. So I guess I gotta thank you. So: Thanks.” Oda shook his head, dismissive. “No need to thank me. It’s dangerous out here. It’s the least I could do. Plus: It was Dazai who brought you here and fixed you up in the first place. I simply provided some help.”

Chuuya shrugged. “Already thanked that guy yesterday. He doesn’t need to hear it again.” Dazai gasped, offended. “Your form of ‘thanking’ me was to pinch my cheek!” He complained. Chuuya glared at him. “Well what else did you expect? Did you really want a kiss? We’re not in some fairy tale, I’m not a princess, and you’re definitely no prince you ass!” 

Dazai sniffled at that. “You’re so mean to me Chuuya! Odasaku! Tell him he’s being mean!” He pouted, crossing his arms. Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Well boohoo you crybaby. Go find someone else to rescue for your princess needs. Cause it’s not me!” Dazai looked at him. “Well. Do you know any other tiny princesses with pretty orange hair and glowy blue eyes?” He asked. 

Chuuya spluttered and almost choked on air. “The fuck are you talking about?! Slowly I’m starting to think that all the functioning parts of your brain are wrapped in bandages and thus not available!” There was a smidge of red on the boy’s cheeks. Dazai grinned. “I don’t think that’s the case. I’m way too smart to lack brain function!”

Chuuya kicked him in the shin. Dazai winced. But the triumphant smile from the redhead was worth it.

Oda, meanwhile, was watching in bafflement at Dazai acting like- well- a teenager. Like a normal boy annoying his friend. Now that was something one didn’t see every day. It made him smile.

“Now now you two- don’t fight! I’d rather not the kids learn that violence is how people communicate.” Oda tried his best to keep the amusement out of his voice, but Dazai heard it nonetheless. Chuuya did too, apparently. “Don’t laugh! Plus, we’re not fighting!” He yelled. Dazai crossed his arms and nodded. “It’s just like the Chibi says!” Chuuya sent him a glare. “Couldn’t you have come up with a different nickname?! Or maybe you could just call me by my actual name! How’s that?!” Dazai continued by pouting. “But that’s boooring! Chibi looks funny when he’s annoyed~” Chuuya grumbled something and punched Dazai’s shoulder. “I am going to rip your head off!”

“Boys.” Oda interrupted, voice raised. The two shut up. Oda smiled. “As happy as it makes me that you’re getting along so well, could you tone it down a little? Plus, it’s about time for lunch. Subsequently, the kids will be with us. So would you please calm down?” Chuuya looked like he wanted to say something, but then he simply shut up and dropped into a sitting position on the ground. Dazai heard him wince quietly. Understandable, considering he was a human being with a literal healing stab wound in his stomach. 

“Take it easy Chibi. Your body won’t like it if you throw yourself into too much action this fast. You gotta be careful!” Dazai fussed and looked at Chuuya with a pout. “Don’t you wanna heal?” Chuuya looked down at the ground. “Shuddup. I forgot I was injured.” He mumbled. 

Now that made Dazai perk up. How in the world would one forget a stab wound? This guy was either really resilient, or had massive issues. Maybe both. He should ask about that later, probably. For now, he watched as Chuuya’s gaze locked onto the playing kids who had yet to notice them. 

“So, these are yours?” He asked Oda. Oda shook his head. “Not exactly, it’s not like there’s such a thing as legal adoption documents out here in this place. But I have been taking care of them. They’re the kids of another group of people who temporarily took refuge in our hospital. One of their members disappeared one day and they tasked me and Dazai here to watch over the kids while they went for a search. We waited for days, but–”

Dazai decided to cut him off. Oda didn’t like talking about the story. The man still felt responsible for letting the group leave in the first place, despite their lack of fighting power and their dangerous surroundings. “At that time, there was a group of subjects lurking around. Apparently, they followed the group because one of their members used to work as a scientist at the facility they escaped from. They lured one of their members away and kidnapped them to draw the whole group out in search of them. The group told us that they’d be back within three days, no matter what. But by the end of the third day, they were nowhere to be found.”

Dazai paused for a moment. He didn’t quite enjoy telling that story either. After all, he’d been the one who delivered the terrible news. He might not care much for life and death, but he knew what it felt like, what these children felt like when they heard of their guardians’ death. Alone. Abandoned. Left to rot in a world that wanted to kill them.

Dazai knew because he’d been there once. Though, he’d been a little older than these children.

“On the fourth day, Oda sent me out to search for the group. So I followed their tracks. I didn’t find them. Well, at least not alive.” Dazai recalled it clearly. 

The bandaged boy stepped foot into the makeshift camp he’d found. It was an old dumping site for metal, cars, batteries, electronics, and all such things. Six years ago, many people might’ve entered its perimeters to search for valuable items to fix or sell. Now humanity had much bigger issues and no one would buy these things anymore. Dazai made a mental note to maybe look through the piles of junk to find useful stuff once he figured out what happened to the missing group of adults.

He walked through a gate consisting of several unidentifiable metal scraps. No doubt the product of the once-owner finding creative ways to use the stuff they couldn’t recycle by working it into what some may consider ‘art projects’.

The dumping site looked to be abandoned. The only indication of life were a few open camping vans with tables and chairs standing next to them. Dazai had no idea who the campsite belonged to now. But since the tracks led him here, he assumed these might be the place the kidnapper had led the group to.

A strong, metallic stench hung in the air. Some might reason and say that, since there was so much metal here, said metal would be the origin of the stench. But Dazai knew better. Knew what he smelled much better than he probably should.

It was blood. 100% blood.

The boy followed his nose, turning around piles of trash that climbed skyward. As it got stronger he mentally prepared himself for whatever he may find. Dead bodies or heavily injured people were much more likely than a fight, as he heard none of the telltale noise that usually came with such fights.

However, none of the internal preparations could’ve gotten him ready for this.

The next time he walked around a pile he was met with what could only be described as a massacre. And quite a bloody one at that.

The free space in front of him was nearly completely drenched in blood. But he couldn’t see any bodies. At least not ones that were recognizable in any way, shape or form.

What he was met with instead were scattered lumps of what may have once been human flesh. But it looked all wrong. It looked like melting iron, but had the color of skin and blood, glistering in the sun, emitting an overwhelming smell of death, decay and burnt flesh.

Dazai gulped.

He still took a step closer, even just to identify the situation. And yes, the melted piles of flesh were indeed vaguely human-shaped.

Dazai took a deep breath, grabbed a metal pipe from nearby, and poked at the mass. It parted like goo, liquid spreading across the ground and offering the boy a view of bones beneath it all. Dazai felt like throwing up, immediately stepping back so the liquid wouldn’t reach his shoes.

His eyes wandered across the rest of the space. There were more piles of melted human. Some were smeared and drying out to a disgusting film on the ground. Some even looked like someone had intentionally stepped through them to spread it more.

Between the piles, dragged, covered in blood, ripped apart, were human organs.

It looked like the product of a monster playing with its food.

Dazai’s foot hit something. The boy looked down at the ground and immediately stepped back as a singular eyeball stared back at him lifelessly.

He knew the color. It was one of the childrens’ mother, one who had enthusiastically invited him a few nights prior when she was telling the kids stories from before the catastrophe hit.

Dazai, despite the disgust, despite the sick feeling in his stomach, followed the trail of bodies and his ears soon picked up on a disgusting squishy sound.

Then, he was met face to face with someone who was digging around in one of the piles of human. In horror, he watched as the person, the creature, such a thing didn’t deserve the title of a person, pulled a bloody arm out and looked triumphantly at a pendant they’d recovered from the dead ‘body’.

Dazai recognized the pendant as well. It belonged to one of the men in the group and held a picture of his family before everything. His wife, his parents, and an older child who, according to him, was killed by a subject.

Dazai took a step back and accidentally bumped into a bucket that clattered to the ground. The subject raised their head, eyes locking onto Dazai, followed by a loud hissing sound. 

The next few minutes were a blur. In the end, Dazai managed to retrieve the pendant which he later cleaned and gave to the kid of the original owner.

Once it was over, he left the site, the smell and the pictures forever burnt into his brain.

The bodies, the blood. The people he’d been searching for, splattered on the ground. He remembered how they looked. Like their skin and flesh had melted, leaving only organs and bones behind. Organs that were smeared across the ground like someone had dragged them around before leaving them to rot. He clearly recalled a dull, lifeless, severed eye staring up at him. A whole eyeball that just wasn't attached to a head anymore, nerves and all. Not even eyelids to close as people tended to do when someone died with their eyes open.

“It was… A gruesome picture, to say the least. I’m not sure you’d even want a description.” Dazai felt Oda’s comforting hand on his head, ruffling his hair. “That was two years ago, when I was 13. The kids were all around 4 years old. Turns out the group was killed by a subject with the ability to melt organic tissue with a single touch of their hand. They tried to kill me. But when it didn’t work, they ran. I couldn’t exactly do much besides going back to the hospital and telling Oda that the group was dead. We couldn’t exactly leave the orphans to their own devices, so Oda decided to take them in and take care of them.”

Chuuya hadn’t said a word since the explanation started, but then he scooted to sit closer to Dazai and threw one arm around him in a half-hug.

Dazai froze.

What.

Chuuya’s hand patted his shoulder. Dazai suddenly remembered he had muscles and slowly turned his head to look at the other boy with wide eyes. He was met with a pained look of sympathy.

“What. Never heard of ‘comfort’ before?” Chuuya asked. His voice was still a snarl, but it sounded softer, worried. Of course I have. Dazai thought. He couldn’t move. I just never thought anyone besides maybe Oda would offer me such a thing.

“When you recalled that just now, you looked like you wanted to simultaneously puke and die.” Chuuya commented. “So I can only imagine what you saw.” He was right. It was pretty horrible. Even for someone like Dazai. Death had become second nature to him at this point.

Dazai decided not to elaborate on the fact that he leaned into the other boy. He also decided not to elaborate on the fact that Chuuya tightened his hold. Somehow, Chuuya just knew. He knew that Dazai’s head was a mess. And somehow, the embrace had something comforting to it.

They stayed like that for a while, sitting in silence, until Oda decided it was time for lunch.

“Kids!” He called out to the group of five who immediately came running. They stopped in their tracks as they saw Chuuya who was still casually hugging Dazai who waved at them with a smile. “Hey there, had fun playing?” He asked.

The kids looked at Chuuya amazed. Then at Oda, then at Chuuya and Dazai again. Oda got up, stretched and raised a hand to point at the children and introduce them. “Meet Kousuke, Katsumi, Yu, Shinji and Sakura. Kids, this is–” Chuuya took it from there. “Chuuya Nakahara. You can just call me Chuuya if you like.”

Dazai watched the other’s expression. It looked friendly and warm. Nothing like the one he’d given Dazai or even Oda. The kids looked amazed. And of course, because they were kids…

“Are you Samu-nii’s boyfriend?” Sakura asked. Dazai nearly choked on air. Chuuya stared in disbelief. Behind them, they could hear Oda snort with amusement. Dazai immediately whipped around to glare at the man who dared laughing at this obvious misunderstanding. Then he snapped back to explain how he was most definitely not this guy’s so-called ‘boyfriend’. However, Chuuya interrupted him before he could even get a single word in.

“Sure sure, whatever you wanna believe, kid.” Chuuya said with a smile. Sakura’s eyes seemingly sparkled. “Samu-nii has a boyfriend!” She stated. Like that sentence held all the secrets to the world. Dazai blinked at Chuuya in disbelief whose expression changed to a smirk as he caught his eyes. 

Dazai whined as he tackled Chuuya to the ground. “Look what you’ve done! Now they’re all gonna think I have a boyfriend! And such a stupid and tiny one at that!” He made sure to make his voice sound extra dramatic. Chuuya immediately turned them around, pushing Dazai onto the floor and glaring at him. “Who are you calling stupid and tiny!” He yelled. “Why it’s you, of course! Stupid Chibi, tiny Chibi~” Dazai sing-songed. In response, Chuuya tried to strangle him, completely forgetting about the fact he was technically still injured, making Dazai laugh as the two rolled around in the dust. On the ground.

They barely noticed Oda’s exasperated sigh as the man ushered the giggling kids to the hospital. “We’ll be making lunch. You guys feel free to join whenever you’re done messing around!” He called. No response. He watched for a moment as the two teenagers were far too busy trying to kill each other. Oda shook his head fondly and left. He’d let them get away with it. After all, he’d never seen Dazai act this energetic and careless before. Maybe Chuuya would do him some good.

Meanwhile, with the two boys, they finally finished their unprompted wrestling-session, now laying on the ground next to one another, both panting heavily. Dazai found himself smiling. One look at Chuuya confirmed that he had a similar expression on his face. For a few seconds, they just enjoyed the silence. Then–

“‘Samu-nii’? Really?” Chuuya asked, a teasing lilt to his voice. Dazai groaned. “Shuddup. They had trouble learning names when we met them and since Oda took both them and me in, they just took a part of my first name and slapped on a -nii. It’s really not that funny!”

Chuuya turned over and smirked at him. “I find it incredibly funny, if you ask me.” Dazai turned over to look at him, too. “I swear, I will actually murder you.” It was an empty threat, they both knew it. “Try me, Mackerel. I’ll just kill you first.” Chuuya responded. Dazai pouted at the nickname. “What are you referring to me as ‘Mackerel’ for?!” He asked with a whine.

“Your eyes. Or well, eye, I guess.” Chuuya started. “It tends to look so empty and dead, it reminds me of a fish.” Dazai gasped in offense, sitting up rapidly. “How dare you! You really are such a mean Chibi!” He accused, crossing his arms. Chuuya shrugged, sitting up as well. “You were the one who started with the nicknaming. I think it’s only fair that I get to do it as well. Now get up and move, Mackerel. I’m hungry.” 

Chuuya dragged Dazai up by the hand, pulling him towards the hospital entrance. Dazai mumbled some more complaints under his breath. But ultimately, he decided to just accept Chuuya’s dumb nickname.

And that was that.

Chapter Text

The cell was almost as empty as any other room he’d seen. The only things in there were two beds on opposite sides of the wall, as well as a shelf filled with all kinds of books. A0 knew most of the books. In fact, a lot of them were the exact books he’d kept in his previous room. The ones the scientists insisted were important to learn about.

A0 gave the room a once-over. Cameras, microphones, not much had changed. Expect of course, the fact that there was now a second boy with him. A boy with blue eyes and ginger hair was sitting on one of the beds, the same one the scientist introduced to him as a ‘new friend’.

The boy looked lost in the room. And small. And scared. But then again, it was the look he already carried the moment A0 laid eyes on him. The bandaged boy stepped over to sit next to the other, feet dangling off the bed.

“Hi.” A0 greeted him. A5158 came closer, unconsciously leaning into the bandaged boy’s side. “Scared. And cold.” The redhead whispered. A certain, foreign, warm feeling overcame A0. Like he wanted to wrap the other in a blanket to keep him safe.

“Don’t be afraid kid, you’ll do perfectly fine!” A voice came from a speaker. A5158 flinched. The feeling in A0 doubled in intensity. They were listening. Of course the scientists were listening.

“Can you read?” A0 asked. A5158 tilted his head, then nodded. “Would you like to see my books?” A0 suggested. He had an idea. The redhead replied with another nod and the two of them slid off the bed. 

A0 walked over to the shelf and pulled out a book he knew would prove useful for this. Then he gestured for the other to sit next to him on the floor in the middle of the room, as far away from cameras and microphones as possible. He just hoped the other would understand what he was doing.

Once they were both seated, A0 opened one of the first pages and sent A5158 a look, trying to convey that he was trying to do something special.

A0 pointed at a word that spelled out ‘four’, then drew his finger down in a line. Next to him, A5158’s eyes seemed to light up slightly, as though he understood.

A0 tried. He pointed at a word. Four lines beneath said word was the one he was actually trying to point at.

‘Can you read this?’ He asked. A5158 joined in, pointing at his own words in the same way. ‘Like this?’ He spelled out. It worked. Their communication worked.

‘Exactly.’ A0 replied. Then, he added: ‘They are watching. And listening. Have to be careful’. The reply came in the form of an ‘understand’. 

They had established basic communication, at least. And maybe, like this, there was more they could figure out. They were together now. And somehow, that already felt better than being stuck alone.

—

It had been about three full days since Chuuya joined their little group. And once again Dazai found himself waking up face to face with a sleepy ginger and no recollection of the dream he knew he had. Of course he was blaming Chuuya. That was just a given! His dreams were most definitely Chuuya’s fault!

…That being said, Dazai couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten actual sleep for three nights in a row. Well. He’d just blame Chuuya for that as well.

Dazai watched the other boy who was still sound asleep. Once again, Chuuya’s hand was wrapped around his wrist. Why was that? Dazai didn’t know. But Chuuya insisted on holding onto him. For whatever reason that may be. When Dazai first asked about it, the only answer he’d gotten was some incoherent rambling about how everything was finally quiet before the other passed out.

Dazai let him. It’s not like he minded much. After all, Chuuya did have a soothing effect on him. The ginger made him feel alive whenever they touched. Like something about him suppressed the everpresent numbness in Dazai's body.

Touching Chuuya felt like deflecting a subject’s attack, but much more comforting. Like something settled in place. It just felt right. And maybe that was what helped Dazai sleep.

The bandaged teen sat up on the bed. Chuuya’s grip on his wrist tightened, like he was telling him not to leave. It was quite amusing. Dazai decided he would most definitely use this to tease the other later.

A knock sounded from the door. Chuuya stirred for a moment, but then settled again. The door opened with a silent creaking sound. Then, Oda’s head poked in. Dazai immediately brought a finger to his lips in a ‘keep it down’ gesture. Oda nodded and slowly walked over, footsteps barely audible on the ground. The bed dipped as he settled down on the edge of the mattress.

“It looks like he's catching up on years of not sleeping, doesn't it?” Oda asked with a whisper as he watched Chuuya. Dazai nodded. It was like the heavy bags under the redhead’s eyes disappeared bit by bit. It was strange, to say the least. Chuuya didn't seem like the type to easily trust anyone who came around. And yet, he slept around Dazai as though they'd known each other for years.

“Let him sleep then.” Oda continued. “I just came here to inform you about some suspicious movements around the hospital.” Dazai perked up at that, now very interested in conversation. “Movements? What happened now? Is it a subject this time?” Oda sighed and turned to look out the window. “No subjects. I think. Well, I can't tell but-” A short break between words. Oda was fiddling with his fingers.

“I found car tires. They're relatively fresh.” He spoke, certain in his words. Dazai sucked in a sharp breath. Because what did it mean? There were no more working cars. The only ones that remained weren't functional. They were nothing but decor standing around in the landscape that was left behind when the subjects broke out.

“Whether subject, or human, where could they have gotten a car? I thought-” Dazai didn't manage to finish his sentence before Oda cut him off. “-That there aren't any working cars or fuel left? I know. There aren't. At least not out here.” Dazai raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, not out here? Is there anywhere else than the neverending emptiness?” Oda visibly flinched at that. And of course Dazai caught it.

“Odasaku. What do you mean?” He asked. Oda shifted uncomfortably. “...That there might be fuel somewhere else. Or, well, I'm certain that they have fuel there.” The second sentence was mumbled so quietly, Dazai could barely hear it. Something was wrong. Oda never fumbled his words the way he did. He was usually so calm and collected that this tone of voice didn't fit him at all. He sounded like he'd been caught. He knew something. Something he didn't tell Dazai.

Dazai felt himself growing tense. His free hand tightened in the mattress next to him. “Just- Spit it out Odasaku. You know something don't you? If it could endanger our safety I'd like to know about it too. Though I don't exactly understand why you don't want to tell me.” Oda sighed and looked out of the window. “I suppose it's been long enough.” Finally. Some useful information.

“Humanity didn't fully disappear when the subjects destroyed the containment facility 8 years ago. Those who were quick enough and had the necessary funds relocated as per the government’s instructions. They live in special areas that have some high-tech form of repellant against subjects and their abilities. The only ability users that can enter the place are those with a legal work permit. Something they only get if they have the necessary qualifications or their ability isn’t deemed a threat. These areas are safe. And they have cars, as well as fuel.”

Wow, okay, Dazai hadn’t exactly expected this, but he knew Oda wasn’t lying. He sounded too serious for that. “So, what you’re saying is that there are cities. Even now. And that the car these tracks belong to comes from there?” The boy asked, receiving an answer in the form of a nod. Dazai looked over at Chuuya who still hadn’t woken up. “...And I’m assuming the reason we’re here and not in one of those is that they don’t have a place for people like us.” The following nod was hesitant, but it was there.

Of course. Because people like them were supposed to die and rot with those who actively partook in the chaos.

Dazai carefully managed to free himself from Chuuya’s grip. Oda raised an eyebrow. “Where are you going?” Dazai hopped off the bed and stretched his arms. “To the car tracks. Investigative work.” Oda sighed and got up too. “Alright then. But be careful and don’t go too far.” Dazai simply waved and left the room and the hospital.

The bandaged boy was walking through the entrance hall of the building when a group of familiar kids ran towards him. Dazai watched them come closer. They seemed slightly out of it. Had they seen something? Dazai stopped in his tracks as they crowded around him, a questioning eyebrow raised. Sakura hid behind him. The boys formed a wonky half-circle.

“Samu-nii! Are you on your way out?” Kousuke asked. Dazai gave him a nod. “I am, yes. Odasaku told me about something he found and I wanted to see for myself. What’s gotten you guys so worked up?” This time, it was Shinji who replied. “We were playing and Oda told us that he’d be right back after talking to you. But it felt weird to be alone outside. Plus, there was this weird guy watching us from a distance. So we ran back inside.”

Now, Dazai was even more alarmed. A weird guy? There was something very wrong about this. He absentmindedly rested a hand on Sakura’s head who was still holding onto the back of his jacket. “I think it’s better if you go upstairs and stay with Odasaku and Chuuya for a bit. That okay with you? I’ll go outside and check if I can find anything about that weird guy you saw.” 

The kids all nodded and walked past him towards the stairs. “Be careful out there alright?” Kousuke asked and Dazai gave him a thumbs-up and a smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright!” And with that, he left the building.

There was no trace of another person once he looked around outside. Apparently they had made an effort to vanish completely before he could get to them. No footprints, no out of place items, nothing. What he did find, however, were the tracks from the car Oda told him about. They seemingly stopped in the hospital parking lot, turned around, and drove away in the same direction they came from. They looked easy to follow, at least, pressing into the mud-dust mixture that developed as it finally rained just the afternoon prior.

Still, it left no indication what they might’ve wanted at the hospital in the first place. Dazai sighed as his eyes flicker across the surroundings. Maybe another look around would reveal any hints. Otherwise, he might have to follow the tracks for as far as they went. However far that may be.

—

Chuuya noticed Dazai’s absence the moment he left the bed as he slowly stirred awake. He could vaguely hear the voices of the Mackerel and Oda exchanging a few words before the former’s footsteps left the room. Oda stood there for a while, seemingly deep in contemplation.

Chuuya opened his eyes and pushed himself up with his hands. His injury was doing well, almost fully healed by now. His injuries always tended to heal quickly. Something about his manipulated biology. He had no idea what exactly it was. Though this ability was one of the few things he actually thanked his origins as a lab rat for.

“Good morning Chuuya.” Oda’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Mornin’” He replied lazily. “Where’d that shitty Dazai go?” Hopefully, he wasn’t out to get himself in trouble. Oda sighed. “Went to investigate something I found, I think. I just told him about the cities. You’ve probably heard of them if you’ve been moving around these past years?”

Of course Chuuya had heard of them. Seen them, in fact. Even if only from the outside. After all, dangerous subjects were not permitted anywhere close to the entrance. Dangerous subjects such as he was.

“Seen them before. It’s like they’re bubbles filled with life in the middle of a wasteland.” Well, the description wasn’t even that far from the truth. Japan was a wasteland. Destroyed cities, dead people, abandoned human structures. And none of it would’ve happened if not for–

Well, not like any changes could be made now. It had already happened.

“Wait. Are you saying that he didn’t know they existed until now?!” Chuuya asked. Oda made a pained face. “He didn’t. I never told him.” Chuuya stared at him with the obvious question of ‘Why?’ on his face. Oda looked out of the window. “It’s the government who runs these cities.” Well duh. Of course they do.

“Chuuya.” Oda turned over to look at him. Chuuya stayed silent as he continued. “Are you aware of who’s responsible for the subjects’ existence, as well as in command of the containment facility?” The government. Of course. These subjects are nothing more than human experiments. Apparently, he didn’t have to speak for Oda to understand his thought process.

“Ever since the facility was destroyed and the subjects released, they’ve been trying to retrieve and contain them. They have a new facility. And they’ve been chasing those who escaped for the longest time. I believe their living circumstances will be even worse than they were before. They can’t have another escape happen without people starting to ask many questions. So they’ll do whatever they can to keep those deemed even remotely dangerous completely isolated from everyone and everything aside from experiments, scientists, and the eventual assigned jobs the government has them do once they’re ready. The circumstances were already bad. The cities won’t be safe for most subjects. The higher ups have eyes everywhere.”

Slowly, Chuuya was understanding what the man was getting at. And he didn’t like it one bit. Still, he waited for Oda to continue. “I didn’t tell Dazai. Because knowing him he’ll find a city and try to figure out a way to get all of us in to keep us safe. And if he walks anywhere where the eyes of the government can see him then-” Sure, Chuuya has had his suspicions. This was simply a confirmation. And so he took the liberty to finish the sentence. “-they’ll try to find him, capture him and put him into an isolated box.” Oda simply nodded.

“When I found him near the old facility after it got destroyed, he was alone, wearing a high security containment subject’s signature hospital gown, severely injured, without his memories and clutching a blood-drenched knife close to his chest. I have no idea what it was they were doing to him. But I never, ever wanted to see such an expression on anyone’s face ever again. It scared me more than any subject ever could. I took him away, but he was basically unresponsive, only speaking in strings of numbers and words I still don’t understand. It took him a year to start communicating with me through morse code and another year for him to start speaking in actual words and sentences. It was only when he was around 10, three years after I picked him up, that he could hold a proper conversation with me. I don’t know what happened to him. I don’t know who he is, where he came from, what they wanted with him, but it was more than enough for me to make sure he stays far away from ending up in such a situation again.”

Well, Chuuya really couldn’t argue with that. He himself had been running from the government for 8 years. Now that he knew what it was that they most likely wanted to capture him for, he was glad he was still here and free. …But it did bring up a question of how Dazai had managed to escape from them for such a long time. Normally, with Chuuya, he couldn’t stay in one place for too long before they’d inevitably track him down. Even now he was still afraid the government would find him and subsequently endanger him, as well as Dazai and his little family. It was a never ending hunt, and he was their prey.

“I suppose it makes sense you wouldn’t tell him about a place where they could find him.” Oda hummed and fixed his eyes onto Dazai’s figure leaving the hospital. “Now that he knows, I can only hope he won’t get any ideas.”

A knock interrupted them. Oda raised an eyebrow as he walked over to the door and opened it. There stood the group of kids. Chuuya tuned out the conversation as he absentmindedly brought his hand to his own neck, swiping some hair to the side. His fingers brushed over the familiar indents on his skin. A mark that most likely would never fade. It was a series of numbers burnt into his skin by the very scientists watching over him when he was little.

A5158.

He wondered if Dazai also had his skin branded with a similar code. What would his number be? Heck, if he was a subject, what was his ability? Chuuya hadn’t seen him use it once.

“You too?” Oda’s voice suddenly asked from next to him. Chuuya snapped back to reality and briefly panicked, but the man’s expression was still warm and understanding. The children were sitting at a table in the corner, talking amongst themselves.

Slowly, Chuuya dropped his hand and turned his head for Oda to take a closer look. For a moment, something flashed across the man’s face. An expression Chuuya couldn’t place. He also stared at the number longer than what would be necessary to read it, but Chuuya forced himself to sit still. Oda couldn’t know his code, right? Maybe he knew his alias, well, most likely he did, but not his code. …right?

Considering he backed away without immediately running off, Chuuya hoped he really didn’t. That would be a disaster. He didn’t want him, or the orphans, or god forbid Dazai, to know him as Arahabaki. He simply wanted them to know him as Chuuya.

“What was it like?” Oda asked instead. Chuuya looked down. “Cold. Painful. Alone. Well, I wasn’t all alone. I had a friend once. But he- disappeared. When the facility got destroyed. Haven’t seen him since. I guess I can just hope he isn’t dead, nor stuck in that new facility.”

Suddenly, Oda’s expression softened visibly. Like he’d realized something. Unfortunately, Chuuya couldn’t read minds. “Say Chuuya, do you maybe wanna go out and help Dazai investigate? And make sure that he doesn’t do something stupid?” Chuuya tilted his head at the strange change in tone. “I can do that, sure.” Oda nodded, content. The redhead pushed himself off of the bed. Before he could leave, a hand was settled on his shoulder and he turned around. What did the adult have to add now?

“Chuuya. I have a favor to ask of you. If you’d be so kind?” Chuuya held his gaze, a silent invitation to go on. “You can fight, right? Can you keep Dazai safe for me, no matter what?” A strange request, sure, but Chuuya didn’t see why not. “Sure, I can do that.” He replied and Oda gave him a gentle smile.

“He trusts you, Chuuya, I don’t know what it is about you, but I can see it. He’s difficult sometimes, and he has lots of problems, but he’s someone I care about a lot. And I know you care about him too, as he does for you, even if you’re both insistent on denying that.” Chuuya felt his cheeks heat up. “I don’t care about him! When have I ever said I do?!” He immediately complained, though it seemed the denial didn’t work on Oda who simply sighed and flicked his forehead. Chuuya barely held back a squeak and rubbed his skin, glaring at the man. Then, he moved to look at the ground. 

“...You’ve got nothing to worry about. He’s safe with me. I’ll crush every government asshole’s skull who dares to lay a hand on him.” Oda smiled again. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Now go out there and keep him out of trouble will you? I’m sure you’ve got this.” And then he was already pushing Chuuya out of the door. The redhead didn’t protest. Sure, he’d go with Dazai.

…And maybe he could ask him about his ability or code.

—

Another look around the area didn’t bring him any new information and once again, Dazai stood in front of the tracks. It looked like this was the only indication of something being out of the ordinary so he probably had to follow them. He just hoped the vehicle hadn’t gone too far. Oda did tell him not to stay out for too long.

“Hey asshole? What’re you staring into the void for?” A voice behind him asked. It was a familiar voice. Dazai turned over to see none other than the Chibi stand behind him. “Hey there Chuuya~” He greeted and waved. Chuuya rolled his eyes and stepped to his side. “Found anything?”

Dazai pointed at the tracks disappearing into the distance. “These appeared freshly overnight. And earlier, the kids told me they saw a strange guy who was watching them from a distance. This is the only hint I have for now. So it looks like I’ll have to follow them.” He spoke as he started walking along. Chuuya stayed next to him, glued to his side. 

As much as Dazai hated to admit it, it felt nice, having someone walk along with him. Sure, he enjoyed the company of Oda and the kids. But he’d always felt different from them. Plus, he was the one doing most of the investigative work and patrolling while Oda stayed back with the kids. They rarely came along, and only for short trips. After all, it was dangerous for them. Subjects tended to appear out of nowhere and if Dazai’s investigations taught him one thing then it was that there are many things that definitely should not be seen by children.

His investigation on their missing parents was proof enough of that.

But with Chuuya there, he wasn’t alone on his walks. It had been barely a few days but he was already so used to the ginger’s presence that he tended to forget he wasn’t next to him whenever Chuuya was doing something else or looking in a different direction. It almost felt like they were two magnets constantly pulling each other closer. It was new, and weird, and somehow also familiar, but Dazai couldn’t really find it in himself to mind it. In fact, it made him feel a little safer, a little less open. Like someone had his back.

“Did the kids describe what the person watching them looked like?” Chuuya asked. Dazai shook his head. “I think they left the moment they noticed him. Their only description was ‘weird’.” It was then that he was reminded of something in particular Chuuya said when he found him. 

“...Do you think it’s one of the government assholes that were hunting you down?” He asked and Chuuya went pale. “...I fucking hope it isn’t.” He then stated. “That’s like- the absolute worst scenario that could even happen.” Dazai hummed in agreement. “Government doesn’t sound like fun. …” He looked down. If such cities existed, then the government probably still existed as well. Just somewhere else.

“You’re thinking so loud that it’s giving me a headache, Mackerel.” Chuuya stated, causing Dazai to snap out of it. The bandaged teen looked up. “The cities. Do you know they exist?” He asked. “Sure I do.” Chuuya replied. Dazai crossed his arms. “...Seems like I was the only one unaware then.” Chuuya was silent for a moment, then he nudged Dazai’s shoulder with his elbow. “Your caretaker was trying to protect you, y’know?” Now that sparked confusion in Dazai. “Protect me? From what?” And then, as casual as talking about the weather: “From being captured and shoved into a facility again, obviously.”

Dazai froze, his eye widened as he stared at Chuuya. “Wait a second- Why would they–” Blue eyes locked with his own. “Because you’re an escaped subject. And they’re trying to capture all escaped subjects to bring them into a new facility.” Dazai felt his hands shake. Chuuya knew. All the alarm bells in Dazai’s head went off. Chuuya knew.

Of course Dazai was aware of his own status as a subject. But no one was ever supposed to know that. Well, besides Oda. Wait. Did he– “Odasaku?” He asked. Chuuya gave him a nod. Dazai groaned and smacked a hand to his face, fingers gripping tightly onto his hair. Subjects were dangerous. Subjects were hated. Everyone wanted to kill them. So why did Oda think it was a good idea to tell Chuuya that he was one of them?

Dazai’s train of thought couldn’t derail any further than that. His hand was grabbed. Chuuya slowly loosened the tight grip Dazai was almost pulling his hair out with. The shaking subsided immediately. Stupid Chuuya and his stupid ability to calm Dazai down with a single touch. But then-

Chuuya moved Dazai’s hand, pulling it closer to himself. Dazai felt his fingers brush Chuuya’s soft hair and felt skin under them. And just like that, Chuuya had placed Dazai’s hand against his neck. The bandaged boy’s brain took a moment to process what was going on. And then he felt it.

Indents on Chuuya’s skin. A permanent mark. And he knew what it meant.

A5158.

Chuuya is a subject too.

Dazai gasped quietly, fingers curling into the hair that had previously covered the code. He blinked at Chuuya a couple of times. Chuuya avoided his look, eyes drifting to the side.

“There.” He said. “You have nothing to worry about. We’re both just trying to live, right?” Dazai was still stunned. Chuuya rolled his eyes, grabbed his hand and dragged him along, continuing on their journey to follow the tracks. Neither of them said another word. But their hands stayed connected, fingers intertwining.

And for the first time since he lost his memories, Dazai felt like he found someone who could relate to him.

—

The tracks did lead them to something that resembled a temporary base. This one didn’t look abandoned. Well, it did, but it seemed like until recently, someone had been here.

About 5 pitch black cars stood next to one another. After carefully sneaking through them, they found one with the exact same tire profile as the one they followed here. The cars also looked quite new. Nothing like the abandoned ones that were strewn all over the place.

Dazai and Chuuya decided against breaking into the cars to see what they were about. They still had no idea who they were dealing with or what type of safety measurements these people used to protect their vehicles. Though it did look like two cars were missing from the group. The boys couldn’t do much but carefully check for hints around the base. 

They couldn’t find much. The people probably took all their documents with them, wherever they went. The only thing they did find however, confirmed that they were indeed dealing with the government. It was some official document that permitted cars to leave Yokohama which Chuuya confirmed to be the name of a city. The permitted license plates matched the cars that stood still outside.

The two boys couldn’t exactly do much but wait for the inhabitants of the camp to return. So they settled for finding a hiding spot and staying there until at least the late afternoon. When the government people still weren’t back by then, they’d have to go back to the hospital and tell Oda that they’d be out for possibly much longer. 

They found a decent hiding spot in a tree. The leaves were big, shielding them from the summer sun and hiding them from prying eyes on the ground. The branches were thick enough for both of them to sit on comfortably and it wasn’t too high up so they wouldn’t get hurt in case they had to make a run for it. They settled in, sharing water from a bottle Chuuya brought and readied themselves for a long day of waiting. Thankfully, there were some things they could talk about.

“Say Chibi~ What’s your ability? You’re a subject so-” Chuuya perked up and grinned, seemingly fully ready to show off. Dazai watched with great interest as he plucked a nearby leaf. “Watch closely now.” He announced.

The leaf was suddenly surrounded with a red glow. And when Chuuya let go of it, it was floating in the air unmoving, as though it was laying on the ground. Then, the leaf started moving, flying around in wild patterns. Dazai could see as its movement spelled out the word ‘Mackerel’. It was kind of amazing to watch. And something about it felt so eerily familiar, it gave the brunette a slight headache.

“Gravity control.” Chuuya explained, setting the leaf down on a different branch. “I can control the gravity of everything I touch. There’s no upper limit and it works on living beings and inanimate objects alike. I can even make myself float!” And, as if to prove it, Chuuya himself was suddenly surrounded by a red glow, floating off the branch and turning over in the air so he was basically hanging upside down. His hair and his clothes stayed perfectly in place as he floated a few mere centimeters in front of Dazai’s face. Dazai couldn’t help but chuckle at the playful grin on Chuuya’s face, having to hold himself back so he wouldn’t reach out and touch the other, subsequently causing him to crash to the ground.

“Chibi’s floating around! He’s like a little fairy!” Dazai commented instead. Chuuya’s smile was immediately replaced by a frown and the accompanying glare. The mood switch was so sudden and funny, Dazai nearly fell off the tree because he was laughing too hard. “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FAIRY YOU ASS?!” Chuuya yelled. Dazai steadied himself amused. “Why you~ Of course~” 

Instead of getting more angry, Chuuya simply sighed, looking like he was 3 seconds away from pushing Dazai off the tree. “Well. If you’re gonna make fun of my ability, yours must be oh so great! Come on shitty Dazai, impress me!” Dazai smirked and inched closer. “You sure Chibi~ It might be a bit of a let-down in that case. Literally.” Chuuya raised a confused eyebrow. “Now what does that mean?” He asked. “Just fucking show me already.” He added with a grumble, impatient. “Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you! Oh, and make sure to secure your legs on that branch up there.” Dazai sing-songed.

After ensuring that the Chibi wouldn’t fall down and crash, Dazai pushed closer and rested his forehead against Chuuya’s, still upside down. Chuuya squeaked in surprise as the red glow of his ability faded away when met with the icy blue of Dazai’s. Dazai pulled back and grinned. “Nullification! I can nullify any ability I touch, which also means that abilities have no effect on me. It’s one of the reasons why I’m not scared of the subjects. Their abilities can’t hurt me. …Chibi? Hey- Chibi- Are you alright?”

Chuuya was in front of him, completely frozen, staring at him with wide eyes. About a million different emotions flickered through them instantly. So many, Dazai couldn’t read any of them properly. It was like Chuuya’s brain malfunctioned the moment Dazai nullified his gravity control.

“...Chuuya?” Dazai tried again, concerned. This was not the reaction he was expecting. In fact, this was So unbelievably strange he never would’ve guessed it might be. Chuuya looked to be in shock. Unmoving, in disbelief. Then, all of a sudden.

“Dazai. What’s your code?” He asked as he hurried to sit back next to the other. Dazai nearly received whiplash from the switch. What in the world had gotten into the other? Dazai placed a hand on his own neck, above the bandages. “I- I don’t know-” He admitted. But Chuuya stayed insistent. “Dazai. Your neck. You should have a code there. Can I-”

Dazai didn’t even think about it before nodding. Didn’t even remember the reason why his neck was covered in the first place due to his confusion at Chuuya’s reaction. It was only when Chuuya unraveled the white bandages that he remembered it. Chuuya choked out a gasp, and Dazai was suddenly hyper-aware of the sight the other was met with.

It was a scar. A wide gash. It hurt like hell and he barely survived the blood loss.

It was most definitely the worst injury he’d ever inflicted upon himself.

It was also the most necessary one.

Dazai didn’t know his code. Because he’d cut out the part of his neck it was written on.

Chuuya stared at him. “Dazai- Why did you-” Dazai sucked in a sharp breath. Well. Chuuya already knew he was a subject. Might as well tell him that story.

“The lab was destroyed when I woke up. People were screaming, running, dying. So much was happening. There was an older man present with me. He gave me a knife. I didn’t have my memories so I had no idea where I was or what I was supposed to do. All he told me was that he was one of my caretakers, that I could trust him and that I needed to get rid of the chip in my neck and run. He didn’t leave me any more instructions. But something in me told me I could trust him. So I did as he asked me to. I cut open my neck. It hurt like shit, but it did get rid of the chip that was in there. I believe that’s the reason why the government hasn’t found me yet. The chip was under my skin right where the code was. After the injury scarred over, there was no way to recover it as I literally cut it out of my own body.”

Now, Chuuya looked even more shocked. And for a brief second, Dazai wondered whether he managed to gross him out with this story. But that was quickly refuted by Chuuya’s next words.

“Which chip, Mackerel.” Dazai looked at him, not quite getting at what he was trying to say yet. “What do you mean?” He asked. Chuuya’s eyes hardened. “The chip. What does it do.” He demanded. At least that was a question Dazai could answer. “I believe it’s a GPS chip. The man told me to cut it out and run, and the government never found me. I think it’s also what they might be using to track down the escaped subjects. You should have one too, I think— . . .”

“Oh.”

“Oh fuck.”

Dazai’s hand snapped forwards to touch the code on Chuuya’s neck. And yes. He did feel it. The abnormal object was sitting right there under Chuuya’s skin.

“Chuuya.” Dazai found his voice becoming shaky. Chuuya understood. “The government. That’s how they found me.” He stated. “And there were car tracks near the hospital. And they belong to a government car. And there is no one here but two cars are missing. That means–”

The two didn’t have to think any further. Both realized the situation. They immediately jumped off the tree. And Dazai was certain he’d never run quicker in his life.

—

Of course their worst fears came true the moment the hospital was in sight. Two cars were parked in front of it. They looked exactly like the rest of the government cars back at the base. And they were securing the only entrance to the hospital. The two teens could hear the commotion from all the way across the parking lot.

“Chuuya! Distract them! Odasaku and the kids are still in there!” Dazai heaved out, breathing irregular. He felt like passing out. But he couldn’t. Not now. Not here. Chuuya nodded and launched himself at the armed military unit in front of them. Surprised screams, and then the entrance was free. Dazai didn’t lose another second before sprinting inside.

The kids were cowering in a corner of the entry hall. Oda was standing in front of them protectively, staring wide-eyed at the people that rushed the hospital. “ODASAKU.” Dazai yelled as he sprinted over. Oda’s head snapped over to him and Dazai immediately found himself enclosed in a tight hug. “Dazai. I am so glad you’re okay.” Oda spoke, voice completely out of it. “Where’s Chuyua?!” He then asked. “Outside.” The bandaged boy replied. “He’s distracting the attackers. We need to get out of here!” 

One look at the kids confirmed they were in shock and crying. Dazai knew this wouldn’t end well. Knew this couldn’t end well. But he had to try. “Run.” He commanded. “Get outside while they’re still busy with Chuuya.” And Oda and the kids followed, running as fast as they could and leaving the building.

Chuuya couldn’t distract them for long. And the children couldn’t run quick enough. And then even more cars appeared. They must have called for backup. Dazai’s brain was running 100 mph but he couldn’t come up with a decent solution that would guarantee they would get out alive and unharmed. 

He didn’t register that he had stopped running. He felt his own heart hammer against his ribs so hard that he feared it might break through and kill him. His breathing quickened, faster, faster, faster, until he was gasping for air. The world blurred around him, and everything felt like it was spinning. He could barely hear what was going on around him, could barely hear multiple voices calling his name. His knees hit the ground, but it felt numb, like all his senses were wrapped in cotton. A plan. He needed a plan. Dazai hit his fist against his own head, cursing his brain. He needed a fucking plan. Right now. He always had a plan! So why now- Why was it like his brain blacked out all of a sudden? Why couldn’t he grasp a single coherent thought.

It wasn’t so much that his brain blacked out. It was more like his brain was suddenly assaulted with a thousand outcomes, a million what-ifs, and not a single one stuck around for more than a millisecond, lest for enough time to make a plan. He felt his hair being pulled. It was his own hands, but his hands didn’t feel like they belonged to him anymore. He couldn’t control them, he couldn’t feel them properly. He only felt the pull on his hair. A pull he knew was supposed to hurt, but just like everything else, he didn’t feel it, didn’t feel the pain. He needed more pain. He needed to feel something. He needed to–

“OSAMU.”

A voice. Loud, and clear, it broke though the wall of fog that were his thoughts. Chuuya. All he could think of now was Chuuya. Chuuya who was gripping him by the shoulders tightly. Chuuya who was staring at him intently. Chuuya, whose blue eyes were the sole color Dazai could focus on.

His breathing was still running rampant. But at least he wasn’t feeling like he was choking on his own oxygen intake anymore.

“There you are.” Chuuya spoke. His voice was calm, gentle, like he was trying to make sure not to cause more irritation. Around him, their surroundings slowly blinked back into view.

They were surrounded.

Surrounded by armed guards and cars. A wall that looked unbreakable.

“I have a plan.” Another voice spoke next to him. Odasaku. Chuuya’s hands were still holding onto Dazai, grounding him into reality. He felt dizzy. What was the man planning? 

“Chuuya. I’m going to break through the wall. You take Dazai and you run. As far away as possible. You need to get him away from here. Both of you need to get away from here. They’re after you.” 

Something in Dazai’s brain was screaming ‘NO’. But he couldn’t pinpoint why that was. He leaned his full weight on the other teen. 

“They won’t kill the kids and me. We’re of no use. They can’t kill civilians. Apprehend us, sure, but it’s better than leaving you to them.” Dazai’s brain was screaming again. The wall of guards came closer, towered above them, it felt like the world was caving in on them. “Remember what I told you Chuuya? You need to protect him. You need to keep him away. You need to go to Yokohama. This is my last resort plan and it’s risky, but it might be our only hope.” Chuuya nodded along. Dazai’s brain was still not capable of comprehending the situation, the words spoken. It was like he heard the words but couldn’t process them, like they were being blocked by a wall around his brain.

“Find someone by the name Ango Sakaguchi. He’s an old friend of mine. Tell him that Oda Sakunosuke sent you. Tell him Dazai’s name and he’ll know what to do. We planned for this.” Chuuya followed up with another nod. “But- What about you and the kids?” He then asked. “We’ll be fine.” Oda’s voice was still as reassuring as ever. “We’ll find you once it’s time.”

It was only then that Dazai registered what was happening. “No.” He choked out. A hand on his head. Oda. It was so familiar. “There’s no other way, Dazai. We have to do this. Now. There’s not much time.”

“No. We can’t- I can’t–” Dazai continued. He couldn’t speak properly. His mouth wasn’t doing what he was telling it to do. We can’t leave you behind. What are we supposed to do? What am I supposed to do without you? You basically raised me! And what about the kids? What are they gonna do to you?

Dazai wanted to scream out all these words, but he couldn’t. “Chuuya.” Oda spoke. Chuuya nodded. “Understood. I’ll make sure everything goes according to plan.” Dazai wanted to protest, but his body couldn’t move.

“Good.” Oda said. “I trust you, Chuuya. And Dazai?” Dazai barely managed to turn his head to look at the man who had watched over him for the past 8 years. Oda’s expression was warm. Like he wasn’t about to sacrifice himself to get him out of this situation.

Oda reached out. He unraveled the bandages around Dazai’s covered eye and soft yet swiftly wrapped them around his neck, around the scar that still lay open from their abrupt departure earlier. Dazai found himself choking on his own breath. 

“I’m so proud of you. Of everything you’ve accomplished so far. And everything that has yet to come. I believe in you. Both of you. You can fix this mess.” 

Dazai opened his mouth, to say something, to say anything. But Oda backed up and cut him off.

“NOW.” He yelled, and then threw himself at the closest groups of armed guards who toppled over in surprise. Dazai felt a tug on his arm. Chuuya dragged him through the freshly established gap and ran, Dazai basically flying after him.

“THEY'RE ESCAPING!” Someone shouted. Dazai barely even noticed when Chuuya shoved him into an empty passenger seat, slammed the door shut, jumped on the driver’s seat and pressed the gas. 

The car swerved around and sped off. They were gone so quickly, none of the guards had time to react.

Oda watched as the vehicle disappeared into the distance and backed off to return to his crying kids. Even when he was thrown to the ground, handcuffs around his wrists, he couldn’t help a feeling of relief overcoming him. They made it. They weren’t captured. Dazai was smart. Chuuya was strong. They’d find a way out of this mess, together.

Mostly, Oda was glad Dazai wasn’t left on his own.

His 5 kids crowded around him. Oda tried whispering words of reassurement to them with mediocre success. The guard next to him spoke into a walkie-talkie.

“Boss. He escaped us again.” … “I KNOW! He’s just too difficult to get a hold off.” … “Yes, yes, we’ll try again. But there’s something else you might wanna know.” Another pause. “He has an accomplice, boss. It’s him. ” … “I’m not lying. I’m dead serious. It’s A0, boss. He’s alive. And he escaped with Arahabaki.

Oda sucked in a sharp breath. So that’s how it is. Well, looks like Dazai got himself quite a special case of a friend.

A5158 was only faintly familiar from the gibberish that was Dazai’s vocabulary when Oda first found him. Arahabaki though?

That was a name that he heard everywhere. A failed experiment. A god of destruction and calamity. He simply hadn’t expected him to be so young.

After all, it was Arahabaki who destroyed the facility in the first place.

Chapter Text

It was quiet in the car. The only sounds were the engine and the tires staggering through the many holes in the ground. Dazai didn't dwell on the fact that Chuuya was perfectly capable of driving. His head was much too full with far too many other thoughts.

Thoughts about the government that was still actively chasing them down. Thoughts about his own unclear identity. Thoughts about Chuuya’s identity. Thoughts about Oda and his kids.

Right.

Oda and his kids were captured. 

Oda had thrown himself at the enemy to open up a path for Dazai and Chuuya to escape. Oda willingly sacrificed his own freedom so they’d have a chance. And now the two boys were on the run. Dazai didn’t even know where their destination was. 

Dazai didn’t know shit. His brain fucking froze. And he was unable to come up with a plan in a situation where one of his plans could most definitely have saved everyone. Dazai clawed at his own arms. It hurt. He couldn’t help but feel like he deserved the pain.

A hand came to rest atop his own, easing his muscles to relax. Dazai turned his head over to Chuuya who regarded him with a concerned look. Chuuya was there. Chuuya was worried. Dazai didn’t want Chuuya to worry. He had to focus on driving.

“I’m fine.” He said, even if just to reassure the other boy that he didn’t need to be too concerned. But of course, because this was Chuuya, he saw right through him.

“It wasn’t your fault, Mackerel. Don’t beat yourself up over it.” The redhead said, voice steady. Dazai forced himself to calm down. Chuuya guided Dazai’s hand to rest on his thigh, holding on tight. He didn’t let go.

—

Dazai lost track of time as they drove. Chuuya seemed to have a plan and the brunette didn’t have the energy to interject. And soon enough, they stopped somewhere.

Dazai slowly turned his head to inspect their surroundings. The car was parked behind what seemed to be a big storage hall. Chuuya softly poked his arm to gain his attention. The bandaged boy obliged, following as he was beckoned out of the car towards a small door. His companion was walking right next to him, apparently fully aware of where they were going.

The brunette himself wasn’t aware. He simply followed. His movements felt sluggish and slow, as though he was walking through fog thick enough to hinder his steps. His mind felt just as foggy. He couldn’t take in much besides the very floor in front of his feet and Chuuya’s presence at his side.

“Where are we, exactly?” He finally managed to ask. Chuuya ducked through a narrow opening in the next wall where it looked like someone broke a hole through it. “I guess you could technically call this my old home? I don’t know how much of a home it is. Or ever was. It’s more of a base that exists as a safe space from outside forces like the weather and seasons.”

Chuuya’s old home. Or something similar, at least. Dazai briefly wondered what history lay within these walls. Once again, Chuuya seemingly read his mind. “The group I used to be part of before you found me lived here. They’re all gone now though. Went off to be happy and healthy in Yokohama, I think. Well, I guess they’re at least safe.”

Chuuya still hadn’t spoken much of wherever he was before Dazai picked him up in the grocery store. But judging by the stab wound he almost died to and the fact that he didn’t seem pressed to go back where he came from, it couldn’t have ended well.

“We’ll only be here for a short time. Stock up supplies so we can survive for a few days. At least until we get to this Ango person Oda is sending us to. He’ll probably have a plan on how to proceed from then on. I don’t know what will happen next but this might be our best bet for now. We can figure out where to go from there afterwards.”

Honestly, Dazai was glad that Chuuya took over the ‘thinking’ part for now. Though he really had to pull himself together. Especially now that they were left to their own devices and had to figure out things together, just the two of them.

“Oh and- Dazai?” Chuuya’s voice had a slight weaver to it. And there the tone of worry was again. “Hm?” Dazai asked back. The redhead took a deep breath as he turned to walk into a room that looked to be a bathroom of sorts. “I need you to do something for me.” He continued. “And I don’t think you’ll like it.”

Dazai simply gave him a look, asking him to continue. Chuuya rummaged around in a closet and pulled out a first aid kit. “I need you to cut that GPS chip out of my neck.”

Dazai froze. He blinked, stared at Chuuya, unmoving. Chuuya sighed and looked at him softly. “You heard me?” Dazai’s brain restarted as he immediately went to try declining, but Chuuya pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him before he could open his mouth.

“If we don’t take it out they will find us over and over again. No matter how far we run. We won’t be safe anywhere. It’s better we get it over with now, don’t you think? Plus: You’ve got the medical knowledge to make it as swift and easy as possible. I know that.” 

As much as Dazai hated to admit it, Chuuya had a point. As long as the GPS tracker was active, they wouldn’t have a moment of peace. Maybe they’d even get captured. And then Oda’s self-sacrificial actions would’ve been for nothing. That was the last thing he wanted to happen.

Chuuya gave him an easy grin, then passed him a packaged scalpel and tweezers. “I can take it. Don’t worry, my body heals quickly, remember?”

Dazai caught the supplies and stared at the scalpel in his hand. It felt wrong. It felt oh so wrong. This thing didn’t belong in his hands. His entire body seemed to constrict at the simple sight of it.

Strange.

Usually, he didn’t have issues with knives or any sharp objects. But this? This felt like a primal fear ingrained into his very being. 

Quickly, he steadied his hand. No shaking allowed. He was about to perform surgery.

“You okay there shithead?” Chuuya asked, head tilted to the side. Dazai nodded and tightened his grip. “I’m okay. I can do this. Can you sit still? It’ll hurt, that much is clear. But you need to sit still so I don’t accidentally injure you more than necessary.” He replied, pushing Chuuya to sit on the floor.

The lighting was horrible, he noted. Thankfully, he found a candle and a dusty matchbox nearby. The matches worked and Dazai turned over a bucket to make a makeshift table for the candle to stand on. Now, Chuuya’s neck was illuminated by warm light.

“I can sit still. Don’t worry about me. Already sat through worse pain than some cuts.” Chuuya affirmed and gave him a look. “Now hurry, we gotta get out of here as soon as possible. The people following us know this place.”

Dazai disinfected the area around the numbers. He knew exactly where the chip was. He just had to cut open the skin and fish it out. No big deal. He’d done it before, when he was little. Though that one was much more brutal and dangerous than anything he’d do to his companion. 

He freed the scalpel from its package. It still felt wrong, but he forced himself to ignore the feeling. Just for good measure, he held the blade over the flame to get rid of any potential bacteria before he got to work.

Chuuya didn’t even flinch when the scalpel was pressed to his neck. He simply clenched his teeth as his skin was slit open. Dazai worked carefully, slowly, focused, giving his all to not make things worse than necessary. Blood dripped onto his hands, his bandages, but he ignored it. The scalpel met a hard object right under Chuuya’s skin and he clicked his tongue in a little gesture of triumph. “Gotchu.” He stated. Chuuya pressed a reassuring hand on Dazai’s knee.

The tweezers found their way into the open injury and Dazai swiftly took a hold of the chip and pulled it out in one quick and controlled motion. More blood splattered on the ground. But it was alright. The injury wasn’t life threatening and Dazai had everything necessary to take care of it immediately.

A few stitches, some cleaning and a bandage around Chuuya’s neck later, they were done and stared at the chip laying in a small puddle of red. “What do we do with it?” Chuuya asked. Dazai grabbed the scalpel and in one motion stabbed through the tiny object, effectively killing it. “We leave it here, I’d say.” Chuuya nodded and then seemingly thought of something. An idea visibly popped into his head and all of a sudden, he had a pen and paper in his hands. “I’ll leave a nice little fuck you message for the government officials who will undoubtedly chase after the signal to the place it disappeared at.

A few moments later, written in surprisingly beautiful handwriting, a message was placed on the ground.

‘We’re no longer yours to control.’ it read. Dazai looked at it for a moment, then he softly ruffled Chuuya’s hair, making the shorter of the boys squeak in protest. “Good job, Chibi.” He stated. Chuuya glared at him for a few moments, then his expression morphed into a small smile.

“Hey, shitty Dazai.”

“Yes?”

Chuuya leaned up and nudged his nose against the side of Dazai’s neck, the same where he carried his own, much more violent scar, hidden under bandages. “Look at us. We’re matching now!”

At that, Dazai couldn’t not laugh. “You’re certainly something, dear Chibikko~”

And suddenly, he felt some hope in his heart. Some hope that they’d be fine, that they’d make it out alive and free. With Chuuya, he could do this. They could do this. Together.

Dazai decided to hold onto that hope. They’d figure something out.

—

The next hour or so was spent with collecting up potentially useful supplies and distributing them into two backpacks. They couldn’t take the car. For all they knew, it definitely had some form of GPS tracker as well. So walking would have to do.

Chuuya knew where they had to go. It seemed like this wasn’t the first time he went near Yokohama. He told Dazai that, after the lab was destroyed and the subjects set free, the remaining humans had built special domes over the cities they considered their home. These domes fully blocked off any ability users from entering without explicit governmental permission.

Obviously, Chuuya himself had never been in the city. He was a subject with an ability, so the walls wouldn’t let him pass. But apparently, they somehow had to get in there. Or, alternatively, get Ango outside. But considering neither of the boys knew what he looked like, nor where he was, that probably would pose an even bigger difficulty than somehow sneaking into the city.

…They’d get to that bridge when they had to cross it.

For now, they had to get away from the storage hall that the people hunting them down surely had located already. As far away as possible. Somewhere where they could rest without worrying about being found by the government. Eat something. Drink something. Sit down for a while. They haven’t had a moment of down time since they left the hospital to follow the car tracks. Dazai knew he could go days without food, drinks and sleep if necessary, but he didn’t know about Chuuya.

Dazai also needed a break. Probably. His mind was a mess. And so much had happened today to disrupt the routine he’d gotten used to over the entirety of his memorized life. But of course he’d never admit that out loud.

“We need to go towards the east.” Chuuya explained as they left the building. “Yokohama is near the sea. It’s one of the biggest remaining populated cities in Japan. If we start now and consider about 6 hours of resting time into the equation, we should be there tomorrow afternoon. Just trust me and we’ll get there. How’s that?”

Chuuya offered his hand to Dazai who didn’t hesitate before taking it. He feared it would become second nature soon, walking while holding hands. It made Dazai’s skin feel warm. Stupid Chibi. How dare he make him feel things he’d never felt before. Things he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. But he wouldn’t complain. For now, at least. He could worry about it later.

And so they left. They didn’t turn back. Chuuya didn’t seem to mind leaving the place behind and Dazai had left the area he was familiar with some time during their escape with the car. They were both entering uncharted terrain. Though at least Chuuya was aware of their destination.

They didn’t speak much on their journey, focusing on safely traversing the unnatural path, far from any streets, moving strictly through nature that did its best to make the whole country its property. It was working, considering there weren’t any humans fighting back.

Dazai once again lost track of time, getting lost in his mind and trusting Chuuya to lead him. He only vaguely mapped out their surroundings, saving them in his brain in case he’d ever go back again. It didn’t take too much effort. Dazai was good at remembering every step he took. Like a map in his brain that slowly expanded with every meter he walked.

When Chuuya stopped them for some rest, it was already evening. The sun had disappeared behind the horizon and darkness swallowed them up bit by bit. It was getting harder to see. And while both boys might be equipped with excellent night vision, they were exhausted. Exhausted from walking. Exhausted from running. Exhausted from almost getting captured. Exhausted from more walking.

Chuuya apparently decided they needed a break. And maybe they did.

The resting place they chose looked like it used to be a farm. Broken buildings. Broken animal pens. The animals were probably either killed or escaped. But it was empty. And even a run-down building would provide some shelter from outer influences.

They dropped to the ground in a dusty old barn. There was still straw all over the place, even though it partially crumbled apart upon touch. Dazai threw himself onto his back. The straw poked the back of his head, scratchy and uncomfortable, but he didn’t have the energy to get up and search for something more comfortable.

Next to him, Chuuya sat down with a long sigh, pulling his backpack off and searching through it. Soon enough, he seemingly found what he was looking for. He poked Dazai’s cheek, making the bandaged boy turn his head. Chuuya held out a can of something. “Food.” He simply stated. “You gotta eat something too. We’ve still got quite a journey ahead of us and you haven’t had anything since yesterday.”

Dazai begrudgingly took the can and glared at it like it had personally offended him. Chuuya rolled his eyes next to him and nudged his side. “It’s canned crab. You’ll be fine, Mackerel, it won’t eat you.” Dazai stared at him wide-eyed. Sure, canned food was a common part of his diet for years as it lasted long-term. But canned crab was by far his favorite.

“Oda told me the other day while you were playing hide and seek with the kids. He said crab is your favorite food.” Chuuya clarified, opening up his own can that was filled with some kind of vegetables. He plucked the can out of Dazai’s hands, opened it and returned it swiftly. And indeed, it was canned crab.

“He also said you usually don’t eat nearly enough. So as your apparent assigned protector it’s part of my duty to make sure you don’t starve.” Dazai tilted his head in confusion, but still ate his food. “Assigned protector?” He asked. Chuuya waved him off. “Just- this morning, after you left the bed, I had a talk with the guy and I promised him that I’m gonna keep you safe. Maybe he had a feeling something bad would happen. He cares about you a lot.”

Dazai couldn’t help but crack a small smile at that. “He’s the closest thing I have to a father figure, I guess. At least for all I remember. 8 years ago he found me in the destroyed subject holding facility. He took me away, brought me somewhere safe and treated my injuries. He let me stay with him, always so patient. And I know I was never an easy person to take care of.”

Dazai didn’t like reminiscing. It hurt to remember. And it hurt even more to not remember what happened to him in the first place. 

“I’ve always given Odasaku a hard time, especially at the start. I didn’t even properly talk to him for almost 3 years. That combined with my slightly self-destructive tendencies and he was stuck with a problem child to watch over. Still, he never gave up on me. He always believed I’d get better. He always protected me. He taught me so many things I needed to survive and made sure I’d remain as healthy as possible. I don’t know why he did it, why he’d go to such lengths, but I’d like to believe he’s just a genuinely good person. It happened with me, it happened with the kids. He was never afraid to put effort into giving us a nice life in this wasteland. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay him for all he did.”

And now he’s gone. Dazai thought. And it’s my fault, because I didn’t realize sooner, because I couldn’t come up with a plan in time.

“Stop that.” Chuuya oh so rudely interrupted his thoughts. “Stop what?” Dazai asked. “You have that stupid ass look on your face again. The one that screams ‘it’s my fault and I’m a failure’. Stop that. We’ll figure something out. We’re gonna find him and rescue him. Him and the kids. And then we’re gonna show the government what two angry subjects can do. Got it?”

Dazai looked over at his companion. Blue eyes were filled with fierce determination. Chuuya believed in them. And Dazai found himself wanting to do the same. “So, what you’re saying is, we’re gonna fight the government or something?” The brunette asked. Chuuya grinned. “Heck yes. If that’s the only way, then I’m ready to do my best.” 

Dazai stared at him for a while. Chuuya was strong, that much he knew. And something deep in him told him that it wasn’t just his gravity powers. Dazai himself was by no means a one man army. He could hold his own in a fight, sure, but he recognized that his main strength was his brain. Too many times had he thought up plans for him and Oda to take care of threats. Maybe he could do that here too. Surely there were some useful strategies he could think of. But they had to identify and figure out their enemy first. And maybe getting into Yokohama was a decent enough step forward. 

“You got it, partner.” He decided on saying, one fist coming to press against Chuuya’s shoulder. “‘Partner’?” The redhead asked with a raised eyebrow. Dazai smiled. “If we’re actually fighting the government, I’m sure we’ll be perceived as a threat by the general public. At least until we find concrete proof that they’re being assholes. We’ll be partners in crime, sort of!”

Chuuya smirked at that. “Oh? I see what you’re getting at. Well then.” Chuuya moved his shoulder out of the way, reached up his hand and bumped his own fist against Dazai’s.

“Let’s kick their sorry asses then, partner.”

—

They spent some time sitting in silence, finishing their food and simply existing in the reality of not being chased down. By now, their pursuers must’ve found the GPS tracker and their message. But the two boys were far enough away not to worry.

Dazai was laying on the ground, head resting on his arms as he stared at the ceiling. As much as he may need it, he couldn’t bring himself to even attempt sleeping. Even though it was already completely dark outside. 

Silver moonlight was trickling in through the gaps in the walls. He turned his head over to stare at Chuuya. The redhead looked unfairly pretty, even like this. He was also staring. In the void that is. His eyes seemed distant, absent, like he was looking at something that only existed in his mind.

After a moment, Chuuya turned his head, locking eyes with Dazai. “What are you even looking at?” He asked. Dazai forced himself not to jump at being caught and simply said the first thing on his mind. Well, the first thing that wasn’t the thought of Chuuya looking pretty.

“Your old group. The one you’ve been with before. What happened there?” …Dazai supposed this was good enough. At least it wasn’t an admission of his very strange thoughts.

“Oh?” Chuuya started, then he sighed. “Well, I guess since I know a bunch of shit about you already, I can tell you things about myself in return.” Dazai sat up at that, now interested. Chuuya’s past was a mystery to him. He knew he was a subject now, but that was pretty much it.

“Well, I guess it’s not that interesting. I was alone after the facility was destroyed. I didn’t want to go around fighting and breaking things. I just wanted to disappear. And so I wandered all over the place for quite a while. Then I met some children who were being threatened by other subjects who killed their families. I felt bad for them and protected them. They were scared of me at first, sure, but they were thankful too. They offered me food and asked me to stay with them and protect them from the other subjects. I didn't have any other purpose anymore so I agreed. They were weak, they needed help, and I didn’t want to leave them to die. We called ourselves the Sheep. And over time, more kids joined us. I gave them security in a dangerous world that took their families away.”

Dazai was reminded of the orphans Oda took in. It was a similar situation. But now Chuuya was alone. His group nowhere to be found.  “Did something happen to them?” Dazai asked. Chuuya shook his head and pressed a hand to the place of his stab wound. “They’re fine. I think. In some way it was them, I guess. They happened.” The bandaged boy tilted his head. “They were the ones who hurt you.” He stated. It was a fact. He knew without being told. Chuuya gave him a court nod.

“The government kept finding us. I fought a bunch of them off, sure. But I think the others had enough. So when they found out that they’re chasing us because of me, they were quick to switch sides the moment one of these black suit assholes offered them an actual place to stay and safety in the city if they just tried to help them capture me. They turned on me with a knife and I was stabbed. I managed to run away without hurting them and I have no idea where they are, but I hope they at least got something out of attacking me. And then you found me. That’s pretty much it.”

Dazai stared at the floor in contemplation. Then he sighed. “Well. They’re stupid for hurting you. You kept them safe for years and they threw you out like trash. That doesn’t bother you?” Chuuya simply shrugged. “I was created as a weapon. Weapons that are broken or cause problems get thrown out. It’s not like I can blame them.”

The bandaged boy regarded his partner with disbelief. Then he scrambled to sit closer to Chuuya and pull on his cheeks. Chuuya winced and glared at him. He looked kind of really funny. “What’s the matter with you all of a sudden, asshole? What’s this about?! Stop pulling on me!” Dazai responded with a pout, squishing Chuuya’s cheeks for good measure. “Chuuya. No.” Chuuya blinked at him confused. “What do you mean by that?”

Dazai made sure to look directly into his eyes. Stare into his soul, if you will. “You’re human, Chibi. You’re not a weapon. And you’re definitely not some thing to be discarded and thrown away like that!”

At that, Chuuya froze. Unmoving, not even blinking. Dazai smiled. “So don’t even think about making yourself out to be something you’re not. Got it?”

Chuuya sucked in a sharp, shaky breath, leaving Dazai slightly concerned. He released the boy and scooted back a bit. “Chuuya? You okay there?” Chuuya looked like he’d seen a ghost. Dazai didn’t think he said something wrong so…

“Chibi?” No answer. “Chibikkoooo~ Wake up!” No answer either. It looked like the redhead’s brain malfunctioned. “Chuuya?” Again. No answer. Chuuya simply shut down or something. Dazai poked his cheek and finally, the redhead snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

“There you are. I lost you for a moment. Chibi needs to pay more attention to me rather than spacing out and thinking of non important things!” Chuuya blinked and shook his head. “Nothing. Just- You reminded me of someone. That’s all.”

Once again, Dazai listened up. More knowledge about Chuuya’s past? He’d gladly take it. “Oh? And I thought I was special… Are there other Dazais in your life?! GASP! How could you?!” He added some over exaggerated arm flailing, just for effect. Chuuya rolled his eyes and punched his stomach. Dazai made sure to dramatically flop forwards, falling to the ground and burying his face in Chuuya’s lap, whining like he’d just been mortally wounded. “And now you’re hurting me too?! Chibi is so rude! I thought he loved me!”

A hand grabbed at the back of his head, pulling his hair. Dazai whined in protest but made no move to free himself. “I don’t even like you, Mackerel. What made you think that?” Dazai pouted and turned over, resting his head more comfortably on the other’s thighs, looking up at him. Chuuya’s hand moved to the side of his head, untangling his hair as he stared back.

“If you don’t like me, you wouldn’t let me stick close to you like this, don’t you think?” The brunette asked. Chuuya’s fingers felt nice in his hair. He should make him do this more often. Chuuya sent him a glare. “I’m only letting you do this because I couldn’t stop you either way you clingy bastard.” And- How dare he! Dazai wasn’t clingy! He simply liked how much his clinginess annoyed Chuuya. “Says the guy who insists on cuddling up next to me whenever he sleeps!” He fired back. Chuuya blushed. Dazai smirked.

“That’s different you ass! I just–” And then, the redhead cut himself off abruptly, as though he’d almost said something he shouldn’t. Dazai raised a curious eyebrow. “You just?” He asked. Chuuya didn’t answer. He simply closed his mouth and seemingly fully immersed himself in the task of brushing Dazai’s hair. He didn’t look like he was gonna continue speaking so Dazai naturally focused on counting the other boy’s freckles. Because why not. Chuuya didn’t seem to mind, or, alternatively, he didn’t notice because he was spacing out again. Then, after a while.

“A0.” Chuuya spoke quietly. Dazai listened up. The name sounded familiar. Very familiar. And in a very strange way. He knew it, but he also didn’t. “What?” He asked. Chuuya focused on him again. “His name. The name of the person you remind me of. Or, well, I guess it’s his code. Subjects are usually not referred to by name. He was a friend of mine. He was annoying. And clingy. And he always enjoyed messing with me. But he was also the only person in that godforsaken hellhole of a government facility who treated me like a human. No matter how inhumane their experiments made me. And he always protected and spoke up for me when everything was getting too much and I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell the scientists that I desperately needed a break.”

Somehow, Chuuya’s words made Dazai feel warm. He was kind of glad that this A0 person existed. That he kept Chuuya safe. Or tried to, at least.

Dazai briefly wondered if he knew Chuuya, if he’d met him before, considering they were both raised in the same environment. Though it seemed unlikely. There were many, many subjects and no way for all of them to know each other. And Dazai didn’t even really know himself. So overthinking it would probably lead to nothing but a headache.

“Do you think he’s alive?” Dazai asked. Chuuya stayed silent, but his grip on brunette hair tightened. Dazai simply continued. “If he’s still alive, how about we go find him? You’ll help me find Odasaku. And I’ll help you find that friend of yours. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to see you again.” He said. 

Chuuya looked at him with a skeptical expression. “...I’m not sure he would. I’ve caused him more than enough trouble back in the day. He was suffering too. But all he cared about was my wellbeing. Now that he doesn’t have to watch over me all the time, he’s probably a lot happier and healthier. And he deserves as much.”

Dazai sighed and curled into himself, nuzzling further into the other boy. “You said I remind you of him?” He asked. “...You’ve got no idea.” Chuuya replied. Dazai didn’t waste braincells thinking about the words too much.

“Well. If he’s anything like me, I’m sure he’d be happy to have you in his life again. Even if it’s just to annoy you to no end! …You should definitely introduce him to me! We could annoy you together! Wouldn’t that be funny?!” Chuuya’s hand stilled as he once again seemed to lose himself in his thoughts. Dazai huffed, amused. 

“Chibikko is spacing out again~” He commented as he reached up to poke Chuuya’s cheek. Chuuya smacked his hand away. “Shut up, idiot. I’m exhausted.” Then he sighed, carefully removing Dazai’s head from his lap. Dazai couldn’t hold back the whine at the loss of his unfairly comfortable pillow. Chuuya chuckled lightly. “Alright Mackerel. That was enough recalling childhood trauma for a day. I want to fucking sleep.”

Dazai pouted and rolled on his back, crossing his arms. “My Chuuya pillow moved.” He complained in an overly dejected voice. Chuuya responded with a snort. Then, Dazai felt himself being pulled back against a small, warm body. A hug. Chuuya was hugging him. And it was weird, and comfortable, and Dazai had no idea what he was even feeling.

“Come here you big fucking baby. Geez. And you’re still denying that you’re clingy?” Dazai decidedly didn’t comment on the very rude remark. He wasn’t clingy. Why would he be? Chuuya was just a great pillow and the ground was uncomfortably hard.

Chuuya maneuvered them around until Dazai’s head was resting on his chest. “There. Pillow. Are you gonna let me sleep now?” He asked, mildly annoyed. Dazai happily accepted their new circumstances. “Yes~ Chibi can sleep now~” Chuuya’s breathing slowed down as he allowed himself to relax. “You’re a fucking menace.” The redhead commented. Dazai closed his eyes and focused on the heartbeat. “Thanks~ I’m always trying my best!”

Chuuya delivered a gentle smack to the other’s shoulder. “Stop spewing bullshit and get some damn rest. We’ve still got a long journey ahead of us.”

Then, an arm wrapped around the bandaged boy. And suddenly it was the Chibi who was clinging onto him rather than the other way around.

Once again, Dazai didn’t comment on it. Instead, his only reply came out as a: “Good night, Chibi~” Chuuya didn’t respond. He was already very much asleep.

Dazai laid there for a moment, running back today’s events while listening to Chuuya’s gentle breathing and steady heartbeat.

Chuuya found out about him being a subject.

He found out about Chuuya being a subject.

The government found them.

Oda and the orphans were captured.

He and Chuuya managed to get away.

And now they were on their way to a city.

A surviving human civilization.

And for once, Dazai didn’t have a plan, didn’t know what it was that they were getting themselves into.

He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to not being aware of everything. He wasn’t used to questions. He wasn’t used to all these rapid changes.

8 years of living with Oda and later the kids in the great nothingness that was their world post-subject-release. Of believing barely any people survived. And now he found out that there was much more to it than that. But maybe, change was inevitable. Had always been.

Dazai wasn’t scared. Dazai had never been one to be scared. Not of their world. Not of the subjects. Not of any dangers. Although that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel even a little uncertain about what had yet to come. But well, he’d just have to deal with it.

He had Chuuya, at least.

They’d be alright.

The next day, they would reach the city. Then they had to find Ango. Then they had to fight the government.

Well, maybe that last step was a bit of a big jump from 0 to 100. He’d have to develop that part of the plan further at a later date. For now, he’d rest and hopefully not process the day’s events via nightmares.

Dazai closed his eyes and snuggled into Chuuya’s chest. Around him, right before he drifted off to sleep, an arm tightened. Then another arm wrapped around him. And then he was suddenly completely wrapped in Chuuya.

“Don’t ever leave me again you fucking idiot.” Chuuya’s voice whispered.

Dazai’s head nearly snapped up at that, but he stopped himself before he could. Again? What did he mean by ‘again’? When had Dazai ever–

Nevermind that. Chuuya must’ve thought he was asleep. Maybe Chuuya had spoken while asleep and it was simply nonsense.

Either way, he wasn’t supposed to have heard that. And so he banished it to the back of his mind, to be unpacked at a later date.

It didn’t matter that they were in some rundown barn, nor that there was no guarantee for their safety. But still, Dazai managed to fall asleep eventually. Really, One day he had to confront Chuuya about whatever magic tricks he was using to make him this sleepy.

But for now, they were both resting before stepping into what might be a new chapter of their lives.

Chapter Text

A0 found himself sitting on a bench at a blank wall. It was warm, sunlight illuminating the courtyard in front of him. The courtyard was surrounded by walls that were too high to climb or even look over. The ground itself was covered in green grass. Grass that might be natural, but was cut so short that it merely served as a thin blanket on the ground.

It was sunlight time. That was the childish name his caretaker had given it, at least. Maybe they thought it was a more appropriate and easily memorized name to a 4 year old child. A time midday where the scientists dumped him in one of the courtyards for necessary Vitamin D exposure.

The courtyards were always the same. Impossible to look into or out of. Void of everything, besides a single bench and the grass-covered ground. A0 suspected the scientists didn’t want to risk their experiments being exposed to anything going on outside of the walls. The boy believed hearing voices, steps, and general commotion of movement every time he was out in one of these. But he couldn’t see. The walls weren’t an obstacle that could be ignored.

A0 often wondered what was going on out there. Why were people even out there? What were they doing? But every time A0 had walked up to the wall and asked, no response ever came. No one ever spoke to him.

The bandaged boy heard a door open quietly. He turned his head and came face to face with a scientist whose face he still couldn’t process, as well as the much more recognizable face of A5158. A0 blinked, surprised. His roommate and companion gave him a shy wave.

“There you go.” The scientist’s distorted voice spoke. “Now please, don’t cause any trouble boys. It was difficult enough to convince the higher-ups of letting both of you into the same D-3-Cell and I had to promise that I’d take responsibility if anything went wrong. You’d be separated and I’d be punished. So don’t create a mess alright?” They asked. “Understood.” Both kids responded at the same exact time. 

The scientist crouched down and handed both of them one chocolate bar each. It was also something they received. It kept their bodies’ sugar level decent enough. They couldn’t have their experiments develop unnecessary medical issues after all. “I’ll come and get you in an hour. Have fun!” And with that, the scientist waved and went back inside. The door clicked shut, locking behind them.

“Hey there.” A0 spoke quietly. A5158 pulled himself up on the bench, sitting next to him, legs swinging as he stared at the ground. The redhead looked tired and exhausted as he slowly started munching on his chocolate bar. He seemed just about ready to fall over, so A0 scooted closer and steadied him by wrapping an arm around his side. Without any resistance, A5158 leaned in and exhaled the tension in his body, completely curling into A0’s side.

“Long day?” A0 asked and started eating his own chocolate. The response came in the form of a tiny nod. “What did they do?” The bandaged boy asked. A5158 looked around frantically, as if looking for something. A0 tightened his hold. “These courtyards aren’t under surveillance. They only turn on the cameras and microphones if the vitals of the person in them flare up and you can see if they’re watching when the camera blinks green. As long as you stay calm, they won’t care, won’t watch, and won’t listen.” He sent one look at the surveillance camera. It was off. “You’re free to talk.”

At that, the other boy relaxed again. It was nice. He was always so tense, whenever he was in the presence of any of the scientists or even simply watched. But here, he let himself loosen up. A0 felt slightly happy the other gave him that trust.

“They’re hurting me. They’re making me go through tests, as always. I think they’re trying to build up my pain tolerance for the thing they want to put in me.” He finally spoke. A0 tilted his head. “What do they want to put in you?” He dared to ask. A5158 shrugged. “Something about a god of destruction, I believe. They called it Arahabaki. They told me I’m the perfect host and I should feel honored to be the chosen one…”

The boy’s fist tightened. He glared at the ground. “I don’t want this weird thing in my body! It sounds horrible! And their preparations hurt! They’re gonna make me into a monster, and–” The boy’s voice broke. A0, in that moment, wanted nothing more than to protect him. “I don’t want to be a monster.” A5158 mumbled. He looked so small. So fragile. A0 did the only thing he could think of, pulled him into his arms and hugged him, the other melting into the embrace.

“What if I become a monster and everyone starts hating me even more? …What if I become a monster and you don’t like me anymore..?” He then asked. A0 hugged him closer. “Well, at least that’s something I know definitely won’t happen.” He spoke, voice reassuring. A5158 looked up with wide, slightly teary, blue eyes. “Hm?” He asked. A0 held him by the shoulders and made sure to smile at him. 

“You’re not a monster. You’ll never be. At least to me, you’re just you. And nothing’s gonna change that, alright? Besides: monster, human, who cares? You’re still my friend! And I’m not gonna leave you. Got it?”

Some tears fell from blue eyes. A0 wiped them off and rested his hands on A5158’s cheeks. “...Can you promise me that?” The redhead asked. “Of course!” A0 responded. “I’ll even pinky promise you that!” He took one hand off and held it out. A5158 gave him his own hand as they linked their pinkies together.

“I promise you that we’ll always be friends, no matter what happens. And I’ll always be by your side.” A0 told him. And just for good measure, he leaned up to place a small kiss on A5158’s forehead. The shorter boy squeaked surprised and stared at him with wide eyes. “What–” He started. A0 shook his head and ruffled his hair. “Just felt like it.”

The other simply nodded and returned to finishing his chocolate. Once they were done, they remained seated together, leaning onto one another for support.

“A0?” A5158 asked. A0 hummed, signaling him to go on. “Thank you. I’m glad I have you.” The other boy spoke, making him smile. “Glad to have you too. It’s nice, not being all alone anymore.”

They spent the rest of their time outside simply sitting in silence. And A0 made a quiet promise to watch over the other and keep him as safe as possible. Even if it meant getting himself in trouble. A5158 deserved better. And he was worth it.

—

When Dazai woke up, he once again couldn’t remember his dream. It also took him a moment to realize where he was or why his pillow was breathing under him. Then all of the previous day’s events hit him like a truck.

Right. He and Chuuya had run away.

Speaking of Chuuya, he seemed awake already. His breathing pattern differed from the one when he was asleep.

“Morning.” Dazai spoke, tilting his head up to meet the blue eyes that were watching him. “Good morning you fucking octopus.” Chuuya responded, ruffling Dazai’s hair before pushing him off. Dazai, to his embarrassment, had to admit to the fact that he had all his limbs wrapped around the Chibi, just like the octopus he was insulted as.

Dazai pushed himself off the ground and stretched. “Not an octopus.” He denied. Chuuya scoffed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He responded.

It didn’t take them long to get up and get ready to leave. They had to hurry if they wanted to get to Yokohama by afternoon. To the question as to why Chuuya hadn’t woken Dazai up earlier, the former shrugged, mumbled something about exhausted mackerels needing lots of sleep, and didn’t elaborate further. They only shared a can of some fruits and left the barn they slept in immediately after.

—

“Okay so-” Chuuya started. They had been walking for the better part of the day. Most of their way led through a forest which Dazai was grateful for since it meant they easily avoided a lot of the summer heat. Now, the sun was nearing its inevitable downfall. Dazai’s legs were in pain and all he wanted was to sit still and do nothing for a while.

“Once we exit this forest we’re basically there already. We’ll see a big dome with lots of buildings and humans inside. The dome itself looks like it's made of glass, but I believe it’s an ability-blocking force field. At least it was the last time I went near it. I tried touching it and it felt like I was zapped with electricity 1 volt short of being deadly. The non-subjects got in without any issues, like they passed through a waterfall. But for me, it was like a solid wall and I ran face first into it.”

Chuuya shuddered. Dazai couldn’t blame him. It sounded like the absolute worst. “Do we have to get through it?” He asked, already pushing his brain into thinking up functional strategies. Chuuya sighed. “Probably. Unless this Ango person is miraculously right there. Which I very much doubt. As far as I’m aware, only non-subjects and subjects with an explicit permission ID handed to them by the government can get in. We’ll probably have to sneak in through the guarded entrance or convince someone to go look for our guy for us.”

Dazai had been stuck so deep in his thoughts that he barely noticed them leaving the forest behind. That is, until Chuuya poked his shoulder and made him look up. “We’re here.” The redhead spoke. And Dazai? Dazai lost his ability to breathe for a brief moment.

The two boys stood atop a hill, at the edge of the forest. In front of them, a wide strip of land was stuck in a brutal state of destruction. Holes littered the ground. Trees had fallen over and slowly rotted away. Dark puddles Dazai knew to be blood stuck to a lot of the space. There was nothing left of the buildings that once stood tall. Only ruins and debris.

And there, across the strip of destruction, the actual city was. Surrounded by what looked to be glass, just as Chuuya had told him. And behind the city, in the distance, an ocean glittered, reflecting the bright sun in its waves.

Dazai sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes lingered on the surreal visual of the city. It looked so unbelievably out of place. A splash of color, of life in the middle of a barren wasteland. Like someone had cut it out of a different, perfectly healthy part of the world and slapped it in the middle of nothingness.

Now, Dazai wasn’t unfamiliar with tall buildings and skyscrapers and all, but he’d never seen it this alive before. An oasis in the desert. Full of people and things those outside could only dream of. The sheer extent of the destruction caused by the release of the subjects was especially visible in this place.

“Pick your jaw off the ground, Mackerel.” Chuuya said, amused. Dazai blinked back to reality and turned to look at him. Then he quickly cleared his throat in an attempt to cover his embarrassment at being caught. “Sorry. It’s just–” Chuuya decided to finish his sentence for him. “Impressive? Strange? Surprising? I know. I thought the same when I first saw it. Now, how about we get down there? It looks even cooler up close!” Dazai didn’t protest, leaving Chuuya to pull him along.

Since most of the remaining trip consisted of walking downhill, it wasn’t too difficult or taxing. The walls grew higher and higher, and then they stood right in front of the force field, only a few feet away. Chuuya slowly released Dazai’s hand and stared up at it. “Now, how are we supposed to get in there?” He asked, eyes scanning their surroundings for anything helpful.

Dazai, in the meantime, stood still and stared. There was something incredibly weird about the forcefield. Something that seemed to basically pull him in. Like he was meant to be here, like it recognized him. But why in the world was that? The force field was not sentient, and Dazai was no one special. And still…

“I’m going to touch it.” He spoke with conviction. Chuuya spluttered. “You- WHAT?! Didn’t I JUST tell you that it fucking hurts any subject that comes close?!” Dazai shrugged and stepped closer. “Just- trust me. I have a weird feeling about it. It’s like it’s reaching out to me. Like it’s telling me to go through.” Chuuya still seemed less than convinced of the idea. He glared at Dazai and crossed his arms. “It’s probably some trick the government is using to hurt people like us! I’m not exactly keen on letting you run into danger!”

Dazai sighed as he regarded his partner. “Chuuya. Just- I got this, alright? I’ll be fine. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance. Plus, you’re here, right? If something goes wrong, I know you’ll get me to safety!” Chuuya sighed and looked down. “I don’t know about this- I have a high pain tolerance myself and– Dazai? Oh god fucking damnit!”

Before Chuuya could continue his attempt at stopping him, Dazai had already reached out. And–

Nothing happened. His hand fazed right through the wall. As if it wasn’t there. Dazai didn’t even feel a thing. He was perfectly fine. Chuuya stared with wide eyes as the bandaged boy stepped in further, until he was fully on the other side. The wall had granted him entrance. And that despite his ability.

“Well?” Dazai asked with a triumphant grin. Chuuya didn’t say a word, still slightly stunted at the prospect of the other getting through without issues. Then he tried it himself. But the moment he touched the wall, his entire body spasmed. He recoiled with a loud yelp, stretching his arm as far away from himself as possible, like it was burning or about to fall off. His knees wobbled under him as he took a few shaky steps back, clutching at his heart and heaving out deep breaths. Dazai immediately rushed through the wall to get to him.

“Chibi? Chibi! Are you okay?!” He asked frantically, steadying Chuuya with an arm around his waist. Chuuya choked out some broken, inaudible words and clung onto Dazai like he was the only thing keeping him upright. Dazai cursed under his breath and made Chuuya sit on the ground, crouching in front of him. The short redhead was gasping for breath, seemingly trying to speak, but not managing to. Dazai shushed him, patting his back and giving him a while to recover.

It took some minutes until Chuuya recovered. But then the shaking subsided and his voice returned to him. “FUCK THAT HURT!” Was the first thing he yelled. Dazai glared at the force field like it had personally offended him. Well, it had, kind of. It hurt Chuuya after all! And Dazai could not stand his Chibi getting hurt!

While Chuuya pulled himself together, Dazai thought about it again. His ability. The force field letting him enter. Almost like he’d temporarily canceled it out.

Wait.

“Chibi. Give me your hand. Hold on tightly.” Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “Shitty Dazai- What?!” Nonetheless, he still gave him his hand. Dazai pulled him up to his feet, and then towards the force field. Chuuya protested loudly, but Dazai knew what he was doing. Knew that like this, it would work.

He stepped through the force field and pulled Chuuya with him. And this time, it didn’t block the redhead from entering.

Chuuya slowly opened his eyes a few seconds later, visibly confused that he wasn’t in immense pain. Dazai grinned at him. “It only hurts people with abilities! So if someone’s ability disappears completely for a moment, vit lets them through!” He explained.

Chuuya processed this information for a moment. Then he visibly realized what was happening. “...And your ability takes the ability of others away as long as you touch them!” He finished the thought. Dazai nodded and pulled them away from the force field before letting Chuuya go.

They were in. Both of them were in. Both uninjured.

Dazai looked around. They stood on a field of grass. A bit further away, houses started appearing. Smaller ones with gardens, at first, but houses nonetheless! And there, standing in these gardens, talking, and playing, and enjoying the afternoon sun…

People.

Living, breathing people who weren’t subjects nor armored guards. Who didn’t look tense, or scared.

The sight was so unfamiliar, it made Dazai pause in his steps. Chuuya stood next to him, hands in his pockets. “Feels fucking weird, doesn’t it?” He asked. Dazai gave him a nod. “I… Honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen normal, relaxed people simply talking about their day, ever.” He admitted quietly. It was like watching a new species of creature. Foreign, strange, but also incredibly interesting.

“Well.” Chuuya continued and walked forward. “I think we’ll see many more of those. Are you ready?” He asked with a smile. Dazai followed him, steps careful. He was treading somewhere unfamiliar. And he had only Chuuya with him. It sparked some form of excitement within him. A new world full of things he only read about in books and heard from in the stories Oda or their occasional visitors told him.

“I’m ready.” He said. And then the two boys were off. Walking right into the heart of their completely new environment.

—

Of course, being in such a big city meant there was no easy way of figuring out where the person they were looking for actually was or even do as much as establish contact. Thankfully, Dazai was a smart person and already had an idea to get closer to their goal.

The two boys intended on finding something valuable, or at least valuable-looking. Then they’d slap the name Ango Sakaguchi on it in one way or the other and bring it to a police station, reporting it as a lost item they’d found. In the best case scenario, the police would give them an address, or a phone number. In a slightly worse case scenario, the police would insist on returning the item themselves and do the part of informing its supposed owner that it had been found. Then they’d either wait for the man in question to show up at the police station, or follow whoever brought it to him. Either way, they’d manage to figure out where the man Oda told them to find was.

It was a good plan, Dazai thought. And Chuuya agreed. But of course planning didn’t always necessarily mean that things were going to work out.

“...I can’t shake off the feeling we’re being followed.” Dazai mumbled in a low voice as they strolled along the sidewalk of a busy street. They were getting closer and closer to the city center. More and more people were everywhere and Dazai felt slightly out of place and uncomfortable. He couldn’t even pinpoint whether they were really being followed or if it was just his brain flaring up with paranoia at the prospect of so many human beings moving around him.

“Me too. Though I’m really not sure if it’s actually happening or if I’m just paranoid because of the many people.” Ah, so Chuuya was struggling with the same issue. Dazai sighed and spotted a nearby bench, dropping down to sit for a moment. Chuuya plopped down next to him and leaned his head on his shoulder. He looked exhausted. And while he wasn’t showing it, Dazai knew he was still in pain from the force field incident.

The buildings around them threw long shadows over the streets. Most of the remaining light came from street lamps and bright neon signs hung over entrances to shops Dazai had never seen in his life.

Thinking about it now, he hadn’t paid too much attention to their surroundings and all they had to offer. He was much too focused on their plan, as well as on not getting overwhelmed with everything crashing onto him at once. After all, he’d never even seen a city like this. Heck, he’d spent 8 years out in what was initially empty wilderness. And the time before that. Well, he couldn’t remember. But considering what he was and where Oda had found him, he was fairly certain he’d spent the hole in his memories stuck in a laboratory. And so did Chuuya. So Dazai knew his partner was probably not doing much better.

Chuuya felt heavy against him, like he was placing his entire weight on Dazai. Dazai let him, reaching up a hand to card through his hair. Some bypassers sent them disdainful looks. Dazai couldn’t quite fathom why. They might be kids who grew up in a difficult environment, and they might look a little dirty and exhausted from their journey, but at least their clothes still looked somewhat normal. At least as normal as clothes found in shops that were left behind 8 years ago were. Some of these people even wore clothes similar to theirs! So what was their problem?

Chuuya didn’t seem to notice much of what was going on around them. Understandable. They had yet another exhausting day behind them and it was already evening. Maybe they should seek out a place to rest and continue their plans the following day. But where in this city would they even find a resting place? It wasn’t like they had all that much money to spend on booking a hotel room or something. They’d probably have to make do with the streets. Well, not like they weren’t used to such situations.

“Chibi?” Dazai asked quietly. Chuuya hummed. “Shall we find some place to rest? You look like you’re about to fall over, y’know?” He continued. Chuuya sighed and sat up. “Sorry. Just- Give me a moment.” Dazai gently hit his shoulder. “Don’t apologize, idiot. Aren’t you always so insistent that breaks are important?” He cut him off. The shorter boy blinked at him a couple of times, then slowly nodded. “I know. But it still disrupts our plans. We need to find this guy as soon as possible. Get you to safety, or whatever. Oda- He-” 

Once again, Dazai decided to cut him off. “We’ll get there. But it’ll just cause problems if you end up passing out because of exhaustion. The government can’t chase us based on your tracker information anymore. Plus, we're already in Yokohama. I think we can allow ourselves a break. And you really need one. You look like shit.”

Chuuya glared at him, offended. Dazai chuckled lightly. Then the redhead slumped over in defeat. “...Yea, I kind of am exhausted.” He admitted quietly. “That, and everything hurts.” Dazai gave him a few headpats. “Then, let’s go and–”

He was interrupted by something falling over in the small alleyway near them. Dazai immediately jumped up and whirled around. His anxiety-riddled brain screamed out the word ‘danger’ in big, bold, red letters. He glared at whoever was in the alleyway just to be met with–

“It’s just a raccoon, Mackerel.” Chuuya’s voice sounded next to him. Sure enough, it was true. In front of them, on the ground, next to a kicked over bucket, sat a raccoon and stared up at them with wide, dark eyes. Dazai relaxed his posture. “Geez. And here I thought we were actually being followed and the person made a mistake.” Chuuya snorted at that. “You’re unbelievable sometimes.” Dazai pouted and crossed his arms. “Well, sorry for being overly cautious of our surroundings!” He whined.

In front of them, the raccoon tilted its head and hopped closer. Then, in one swift movement, it jumped and stole something from Dazai’s pocket before running further into the alleyway. With slight horror, the bandaged boy realized it was his knife that had been taken. He gasped and immediately rushed after the raccoon. “Hey! Get back here! That’s mine!” He complained.

Turns out, the small alleyway was actually a dead end. Dazai and Chuuya chased the raccoon until it was backed into a corner, against a brick wall. “There you are.” Dazai grumbled. “Now give me back my knife! I need that!”

He was fully prepared for a fight, or for some more chasing, but instead, the raccoon simply placed the knife on the ground and sat down, looking up at the two boys expectantly. Slowly, oh so slowly, Dazai leaned down to pick up the object and inspect it. There was no damage to be found, at least. 

Dazai regarded the raccoon with a confused look and turned over to Chuuya. “Well, that was weird.” He commented. Chuuya shrugged and sent the little animal a look. Almost seems like it just wanted to lure us into this little alleyway for some reason.” He said.

“And that would be correct!” An unknown, cheerful voice sounded from behind them. The two boys instantly whirled around, coming face to face with a young man who looked to be around 19 or 20, sending them a happy grin. From behind them, the raccoon ran over to the newcomer and jumped to climb on his shoulders.

Dazai wearily regarded the unknown person. He was wearing a brown cape that matched his pants and hat, a gray blazer, a white button-up, long, white socks, black shoes and a tie. His hair was dark and messy. His eyes were closed but his face was relaxed.

Chuuya pushed himself in front of Dazai, stance protective and expression dangerously calm. “What do you want from us? And why did you lure us in here?” He asked. The man tilted his head, seemingly not intimidated by the short redhead. 

“Nothing bad, don’t worry! I just wanted to talk! And this alleyway isn’t under surveillance so no one is watching us!” Dazai swiftly checked the area with his eyes and, yes, it was true. There were no surveillance cameras anywhere. He placed a hand on Chuuya’s shoulder who relaxed slightly, but still held his position of shielding Dazai.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about. Your stupid raccoon just stole something that belonged to me. So what is it?” Dazai asked, keeping his voice calm. It was just a guy. If it came to it, they’d be fine.

“First of all, that’s not just some raccoon, that’s Karl!” The man declared and petted the animal’s hat. “Second: I believe you guys could use some help, right?” Dazai sent him a glare. The man sighed and reached into his cape to search for something, then made a small sound of triumph when he found it. He held out the card. It was an ID.

“I’m not a government worker, don’t worry. I don’t plan on exposing you. I’m from the Armed Detective Agency! We operate separate from the government! The name’s Edogawa Ranpo!” Dazai inspected the card. It indeed looked official. Slowly, he stepped forward to stand next to his partner. “Well then, Ranpo-san, what is it? And why are you so convinced we need help?” He asked. Ranpo simply took one look at them. His eyes were green, Dazai noted.

“Well, first of all: You both look exhausted. Second: You’re covered in dust to an extent that could only stem from the outside. Third: You look completely out of place, like you’ve never been in a city before and don’t know how to act. Yet you still seem to follow a plan.”

Dazai squinted at the man. “...So you were the one who was following us, right?” He accused. Ranpo grinned. “Yup! I figured you might need something and I felt like helping! So here I am! Tell me what’s up!” Chuuya sent him another glare. “And how can we be certain that you won’t go running to the government and tell them about us, huh?” He asked.

Ranpo was patient enough, as it seemed. “Well, I did bring you here so we wouldn’t be anywhere in range of the surveillance systems! So even if I were to tell anyone, who’s to say they’d believe me! For all I know, I could be some random guy trying to get his 5 minutes of fame by pretending to have found some of their most sought after subjects.”

Alright. Great. So this guy knew they were subjects. Just perfect! Dazai wanted to fall in a hole and die!

“The bandages around your neck. Taller guy might get away with it as it’s his whole outfit style. But the shorter guy will need something else to cover that part. Something that isn’t bandages. They look out of place on him and it just so happens that they’re wrapped around the subject mark. I suggest you figure something out as soon as possible. Maybe buy a turtleneck hoodie? I don’t know.” Ranpo rambled on, as if it was no big deal at all that the two of them were very obviously subjects on the run.

“...Fine.” Dazai decided. “We’re looking for a person who supposedly lives in this city. Someone trustworthy told us to go find them. But right now, we’re kind of just in need of a place to stay the night. We’ve got a long day behind us and my partner is hurt.” He spoke. 

Ranpo grinned like he’d just won the lottery. “There we go! Why didn’t you just say so?! I’m a detective! We’re experts in finding people! As for the overnight arrangement, I’ve got an idea for that as well!” Dazai exchanged a weary look with his partner who simply shrugged in response. He then eyed Ranpo, still a little suspicious. 

“What do you want from us in return? Given how you know so much, I’m sure you’re aware we don’t have money.” He asked. “Easy!” The man replied. “We need information. Mostly first hand information from subjects in general. Preferably those who were subjected to the circumstances in the lab pre-destruction. We’re trying to put together a file that proves it’s the government’s fault that our world was destroyed to this level. Unfortunately, lots of subjects, even those who are technically free, are still influenced and monitored which makes it difficult to get information from them. You two, however, definitely look like you’ve successfully escaped their grasp, am I right?”

This time it was Chuuya who voiced agreement. “We did. That’s true. They can’t watch us anymore.” He stated. “Excellent!” Ranpo cheered. “Then you’ll be perfect! You’ll just have to tell us some things about the lab and your abilities, and that’s payment enough!”

Well, this guy seemed decent, at least. Dazai, with all his knowledge of the human psyche, couldn’t detect a single lie in the words Ranpo told them. He nudged Chuuya’s side. “He’s telling the truth. I know it.” He said.

Chuuya fully relaxed his stance and the lingering exhaustion visibly returned to his bones. Ranpo smiled. “I take it you’re in?” He inquired. Dazai responded with a nod. “We’re in. But if you dare breathe a word about us to the government, we’re not gonna let you get away with it.” He threatened. Ranpo held his hands up, defensive, the smile still present. “Well, obviously. Which is why we won’t. I swear. So, let’s get you into a nice, safe apartment. Rest up, and then we’ll start working on this together, alright? I’m positive we’ll also find the person you’re looking for!”

Ranpo turned on his heel and motioned the two boys to follow him. Karl remained on his shoulders. Dazai and Chuuya walked a few steps behind him. They left the alleyway and stopped a little further, near what seemed to be a stationary store. Dazai didn’t even have to ask for Ranpo to answer the question.

“What are we doing here you may ask?” The man typed something on his phone. “We’re waiting for someone. He went in there to buy some new notebooks while Karl and I went and said hello to you.” Dazai and Chuuya couldn’t do much but awkwardly hover around Ranpo, waiting for whoever was still in there. Only a few minutes later, the door swung open and out stepped another man. His brown-purple-ish hair was hanging into his face, covering most of his eyes. He carried a stack of notebooks with him. The raccoon jumped over to him and got comfortable on his shoulders. 

“Hey there Ed!” Ranpo greeted and threw an arm around the newcomer who seemed to not really know what to do with the sudden physical contact. “Sorry it took a while, there were lots of people at the register.” The man, Ed, or something, apologized. “It’s no big deal! I picked up some new friends while you were in there!” It was only then that the new guy noticed Dazai and Chuuya standing there. The way he visibly flinched and tensed was almost funny.

“Kids, meet Edgar Allan Poe! He’s my best friend! Ed, these are–” It was only then that Ranpo seemingly realized he never actually asked the two for their names. Both boys chuckled at that. “I’m Osamu Dazai. And this guy here is my partner, Chuuya Nakahara.” Dazai introduced them. Ranpo smirked, amused. “Partner you say?” Dazai tilted his head. “Partner. Yes. Something wrong with that?” Ranpo shook his head. “No, of course not! Don’t worry about it. Anyway, say hi!”

Chuuya and Dazai both greeted Poe who gave a small wave in return. Dazai filed his personality away as being a massive introvert. Even more so than he himself was, and with much more anxiety.

“Ed, these two need a place to stay. Can you give them one of your apartments? Preferably one close to the agency.” Ranpo asked with a smile. Poe looked at him surprised. “Are they–?” Ranpo nodded. “Yup. And they need somewhere safe to rest. I believe they’ve got quite a journey behind them. So, pleaseeee?” Poe sighed and pulled out a phone, looking through some list. “Anything for you, Dear.” He said, making Ranpo’s smile widen.

The exchange was quite entertaining, and it was even more entertaining to watch Poe fold immediately upon being asked by Ranpo. It was kind of sweet, actually. Chuuya leaned close to his ear, voice a whisper. “Do you think these two are–” He didn’t finish the sentence, but of course Dazai understood. “Certainly wouldn’t be surprised.” He whispered back.

Poe looked up at them again. “I do have an apartment 10 minutes away from the agency. That good?” Ranpo patted his head. “Perfect! Lead the way!” And so, the small group went off to follow Poe wherever he was taking them.

—

When the two 15 year olds were told they’d get an apartment, they had a bunch of possible ideas how it might look. But this certainly wasn’t one of them.

“...Are you sure this is the right one?!” Chuuya asked, voice slightly exasperated. Poe looked worried. “Is it not to your liking? It’s the closest to the agency. But, I’m sure I can find another one if–” Dazai decided it was time to interrupt the poor anxious mess of a person with some reassurance. “No, no, it’s great! We just didn’t expect this! We weren’t even expecting an apartment when we thought about looking for a place to sleep, and this is–”

A fucking penthouse apartment is what it was. One with a beautiful view of the city. Y’know, these super expensive apartments no normal person could afford!

“It’s a lot. But we like it. Right, Chuuya?” Dazai asked. Chuuya wasn’t exactly able to speak right now, but he gave a nod. Behind them, Ranpo cackled. “Awww Ed~ They’re just a little taken aback! They probably grew up on the streets amidst destruction. A place like this is a huge step up.” Poe nodded, contemplative. “I suppose that makes sense. Well, this place is yours then. Suit yourselves.” He then wandered off to what appeared to be the kitchen, checking the fridge.

Chuuya turned over to Ranpo. “Is it really okay for us to stay here? I mean- I don’t think this is a place someone would casually offer to another person without asking for money!” He whispered loudly. Ranpo smiled at that. “No need to worry. Ed has a lot of these types of apartments. His job pays really well. He’ll be happy enough about helping you and by extension me out.” Chuuya seemingly wanted to protest more, but then Poe returned.

“The fridge is empty since this place wasn’t in use before. I suggest you go grocery shopping tomorrow.” He told the boys. “Thanks, we’ll see what we can do.” Dazai responded. “And thanks for the apartment, really, this is- a lot.” Chuuya added. “Happy to help. As long as it benefits Ranpo-kun, I see no issue.”

Ranpo took a look outside. Dazai followed. It was nighttime by now, the city illuminated by millions of lights. “It’s getting late.” The detective stated. “We’re gonna leave you to rest now. I’ll come and get you tomorrow at 11 AM. And then I’ll bring you to work and introduce you to my colleagues. Oh, and-” Ranpo handed Dazai a keycard, the one used to open the penthouse door. “Here, don’t lose it.” 

Dazai tilted the card in his fingers. It was fairly plain. Silver, with some decorative swirls and patterns. The address was printed on the back. Dazai would be sure to put it somewhere safe. “Thanks, Ranpo-san, Poe-san.” He said, looking up at them. “No problem!” Ranpo responded and turned towards the door, Poe right on his trail. “Good night, boys!”

“Good night!” The two 15 year olds responded. The adults left, the door clicked, and the two of them were left alone.

For a few minutes, neither of them said a word. Then they looked at each other in disbelief. “...Did we really just get placed into a fucking penthouse?” Chuuya asked. Dazai shrugged and looked around. “Looks like we did, yea. Just like that. Honestly, it feels a bit like I’m in a fever dream. We’re not only in a penthouse now, we actually have friends? Allies? Whatever these guys qualify as.”

It was a lot to take in. For both of them. So many rapid changes and now they were here, somewhere they never thought they’d ever set foot into. Dazai wouldn’t be able to properly summarize the events of the past 48 hours if he tried.

His train of thought was interrupted by Chuuya yawning. Dazai snorted and poked his cheek. “What do you say we get you some sleep. Sounds good?” Chuuya gave a weak nod. Dazai grabbed him by the hand and pulled him up some stairs to the upper level of the apartment. The bedroom wasn’t difficult to find. It too had a perfect view of the city skyline. Dazai briefly wondered what exactly Poe worked as to be able to easily afford such an apartment.

The two boys placed their backpacks against the wall. They could sort through their things, eat, and clean themselves the following morning. For now, the bed looked far too soft, warm and inviting to ignore for much longer.

They at least had the decency to take off their outer layers of clothing as well as their shoes before crawling in. Dazai was almost certain this place had a guest room, but neither of them bothered finding it. They were so used to sleeping together by now, it would probably just feel weird without.

The bed was by far the most comfortable place Dazai had ever slept on. For Chuuya too, considering his expression. Dazai pulled the blanket up over both of them. His partner was seemingly barely keeping himself awake.

“Get some rest, Chibi. Or you’ll never grow!” Dazai teased. Chuuya smacked him. But it was soft, and without any strength, and he didn’t even take his hand back once it found its place resting on Dazai’s cheek. “Shut up, shitty Mackerel.” He mumbled. For once, Dazai did as he was told and went quiet, opting instead for pulling Chuuya into his arms. The small redhead didn’t fight back and simply let him.

“Night.” He mumbled. Dazai squeezed him once. “Good night, tiny idiot.” Chuuya either ignored the insult, or was simply asleep already.

That night, the two teens slept in an actual bed for the first time. No hard ground, no hospital mattress, no uncomfortable temperature and no broken windows. It was unfamiliar and might take some getting used to, but they would get there, probably.

The following day they would hopefully find Ango and figure out why Oda wanted them to go look for him. They’d also help the Armed Detective Agency who apparently also planned on getting back at the government for some reason. Maybe they could find actual allies for their mission? 

Well, they could figure that out the next day. And maybe it even left them with some free time to go around in the city and check out the places they ignored in their attempt at existing among normal people a few hours earlier.

Chapter Text

Waking up in an actual bed felt almost surreal. The soft mattress. The warm sheets. It was unbelievably unfamiliar. Sure, he had slept in the hospital bed back when he was still with Oda and the kids. But a hospital bed couldn’t compare in any way to an actual bed like this.

Daylight filtered in through the window and Dazai turned his head to find an actually functional digital alarm clock on the bedside table. According to the numbers, it was 9:17 AM. 

Slowly, he sat up in bed and stretched. His clothes felt uncomfortable. Maybe he shouldn’t have fallen asleep in his jacket. But, well, too late now. Hopefully, he could find something a little more comfortable to change into. Even his skin under his bandages was itchy and so he pulled off his jacket, loosened one end of the white fabric wrapped around his arm, and let the tendrils unwrap and slip to the floor. He knew he’d find some spare bandages in his backpack. He always made sure to have some on him.

Once his arm was free, Dazai simply stared at it in contemplation. Scars littered his skin. Scars carved by razor blades and knives. Crossing one another, painting a pattern of white and pink lines. Some were pinker than others. There was even some blood smeared across them. The friction from the dirty bandages must have reopened some of the fresher ones. His skin looked irritated. The scars definitely didn’t like that he hadn’t changed his bandages once these past days, despite how much he walked around.

Dazai didn’t remember when the very first cut appeared, nor who put it there. But his arms had been covered in them for as long as he could remember. So it must have been before he lost his memories. Over the years, many more scars had been added. Though these, he knew the origin of. After all, most of them were a product of his own instability.

He sighed and looked at the ground. It’d be a pain to clean these and wrap them up properly. But it might get worse if he left them as is. But before he could push himself off the bed and walk to his backpack, he was interrupted by a voice right by his ear.

“These look fucking nasty. Ever heard of taking care of yourself, Mackerel?” Dazai jumped at the voice and stared at his partner with wide eyes. Chuuya was awake. Very much awake. And he was staring over his shoulder. And he saw the scars. 

Dazai froze.

Chuuya seemingly noticed his sudden change of mood and sighed, crawling over to sit next to the taller boy and punching his shoulder gently. “I’m not gonna judge you for it. Can I see them?” The redhead asked, carefully. Dazai swallowed and gave him a weak nod. Might as well show him the rest. For as scary as it might be, he had a feeling the other wouldn’t just go and run off.

Dazai let Chuuya pull off his shirt and made absolutely sure to look anywhere but the blue eyes observing his mummified body. Chuuya carefully removed the remaining bandages and set them aside. Dazai felt like the other was staring and dissecting each and every one of his scars. Somehow, it didn’t feel nearly as excruciating as he thought it might.

“We need to clean these and rewrap them with fresh bandages. Don’t want them to get infected now do we?” He said. Dazai couldn’t help but stare at him in confusion. “...You’re not gonna ask about them?” He whispered. Chuuya’s expression tensed momentarily. Then he looked down. “I didn’t want to make you talk about it if you don’t want to. Though, I do have a question. Are they all…” He started, then trailed off. “Self-inflicted? Most of them, yea. Though some come from the time before I lost my memories. I don’t exactly remember a life without them.” Chuuya’s jaw clenched as he seemingly cursed someone or something in his head, repeatedly. Then he sighed. “Do you have any spare bandages with you?” He asked, instead of further elaborating on anything.

Dazai decided not to question why Chuuya didn’t seem the least bit surprised, nor uncomfortable, or any such thing. He just nodded over at his backpack and his partner hopped off and rummaged through them, hand coming up a minute later, holding the extra bandages Dazai put in there. “Here we go. C’mon shitty Dazai, get up. We’re gonna do this in the bathroom.” Dazai didn’t say a word, simply got up and followed the other.

Once in the bathroom, Chuuya rummaged through all the cupboards simultaneously until he seemingly spotted what he was looking for. That being a first aid kit. He pushed Dazai to sit down on the bathtub and knelt in front of him, placing down a bottle, some cotton pads and a wet towel. “Alright, can I go ahead and touch you? Just so I can clean them and then apply the antiseptic.” Dazai gave him an affirmative nod and Chuuya picked up the towel, starting to get to work.

Chuuya was good at treating cuts, apparently. His movement was soft and it barely hurt. It felt practiced. Like he’d done it a hundred times before. He was focused and didn’t even dwell much on the nature of these injuries. Dazai briefly wondered if he had dealt with such a thing before. Was it the sheep? Someone else? Chuuya himself?

“A0.” Chuuya answered, once again seemingly reading his mind. “Told ya there’s a lot of similarities. Though, I think most of his were done by the scientists that worked with him. They left him with nothing but poorly wrapped bandages and pain. So when I found out I asked one of the nicer ones for antiseptic and he gave it to me. The scientist knew, I think. But he couldn’t do much because his superiors wouldn’t care. Though from then on, he’d always manage to sneak some antiseptic as well as fresh bandages into our cell. Then he’d overtake one of the guards’ watch duty hours and send us a message in morse code via the blinking of the security camera. It was his way of telling me that I’m free to take care of the cuts without anyone knowing.”

Dazai imagined the picture of a young Chuuya taking care of another kid. It gave him an eerie feeling of familiarity, of warmth, like he knew exactly how that went. It was a strange feeling. A feeling he’d come to associate with the redhead quite often over these past days.

“In the end, it only helped a little. Because day by day they’d cut his skin open again. I never found out why they were doing it. I honestly don’t think A0 knew either. But at least it made him feel better for a while. ‘Till this day I wanna know what happened to the scientist that helped us. After everything got destroyed, I never saw him again. I just hope he didn’t die. He was like- one of the only two somewhat reasonable caretakers there.”

Chuuya finished treating the cuts and took a step back, throwing the towel into the bathroom sink, presumably to clean it later. He flicked Dazai’s forehead who responded with a yelp and a glare at Chuuya, the latter simply chuckling lightly. “Anyways. Go take a fucking shower while I organize food. You stink. Bandages are next to the sink.” And with that, he left the bathroom and closed the door.

Silence overtook the room. Dazai sat there for a moment, looking at his freshly treated cuts. Chuuya truly was someone special. Sure, Oda had treated his cuts occasionally, but only a handful of times. And he’d always done it with that worried look on his face, like he wanted to tell Dazai to ask him for help, like he wanted to figure out how to stop the cuts from appearing in the first place. He’d also been mildly terrified the first time around. But with Chuuya, it felt different.

Chuuya was many things, Dazai thought, as he took off his clothes fully and pressed some buttons to figure out the shower. Chuuya was strong, brave, resilient, caring. He mostly carried himself with pride. Like the world and the government hadn’t fucked him over. Like he was always ready for a fight and to do what he deemed right. Despite everything he must’ve been put through.

Chuuya was also pretty. And warm. And safe. And endearing. And even his stupid insults did things to Dazai’s heart he rather wouldn’t dwell on too much.

Dazai still didn’t know who exactly Chuuya was, and it intrigued him. Usually, he had an easy time profiling people. Their personalities. Likes, dislikes. Their overall ideals and morals. Even the stories of their lives were easy to figure out if he paid any attention to them. But with Chuuya, it was different.

The water was scalding hot as he stepped under. It burned on his skin. It made him feel something. 

Dazai closed his eyes and allowed his thoughts to wander wherever they pleased. Actually, his thoughts seemed really insistent on staying with Chuuya, so that’s what they did.

The fact that he found himself quite fond of the redhead didn’t exactly come as a surprise. But it still threw him off. This felt different. Dazai wasn’t usually one to like people. He considered Oda and his orphans family, of course. But they were the only people close to him. Until Chuuya appeared. Chuuya felt like family too, somewhat. But not in the way Oda and the kids did. The boy evoked emotions in him that he never felt before. Emotions he couldn’t categorize. And it confused him. It had only been a few days but in these few days his life had changed so drastically, it made him question whether he’d been beamed into some form of alternative universe.

Dazai shook his head and grabbed a bottle titled ‘shampoo’ from the wall. Then he drowned his thoughts in water and the smell of lavender. Showers were another thing he wasn’t used to. But they felt nice. Much better than jumping into a cold river with some soap like he had lived these past years.

Once Dazai was done, he didn’t exactly feel like putting on his dusty clothes. Instead, he wrapped his body in fresh bandages, rushed into the bedroom, opened his backpack and grabbed one of the larger hoodies Chuuya had given him back at the sheep’s old base, as well as a set of pants. The clothes weren’t the best quality. And the pants were a little tight due to his and Chuuya’s height difference, but it was alright for now. They could figure out the rest later.

Dazai left the room and walked down the stairs to the lower level of their newly acquired apartment, just to be hit with the smell of something extremely tasty. Something cooked. Dazai moved towards the smell and entered the kitchen where he found his partner standing at the stove. The picture had a certain something about it that made the bandaged boy’s heart speed up by a lot. Absolutely unacceptable! Dazai wanted to tell his body to stop this madness.

“Hey shitty Dazai. Finished showering?” Chuuya asked and turned around, a wooden spoon clutched in his hand which he pointed at the other boy, not unlike a knife. Dazai didn’t even know what to say. He opened his mouth in a silent question. Chuuya only rolled his eyes and nodded towards some empty cans. “I found some kitchen utensils so I took a few of our remaining cans and decided to cook something. Thought it’d be better than eating canned food again.”

Dazai was still mildly surprised. But this was Chuuya, so maybe he shouldn’t be confused. Instead, he walked closer and identified the food as rice with crab and vegetables. Chuuya crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him. “Does the food meet your expectations Mr. Mackerel?” He asked. Dazai looked at him for a moment, then grinned, teasing remark right there on his tongue.

“Aw~ Is Chibi gonna be the housewife in this partnership? He’s gonna cook and clean and all?” Chuuya’s expression immediately turned into a glare as he hit Dazai’s head with the spoon. “What partnership you ass! I’m just trying to ensure neither of us is gonna fucking starve! Now sit down at the table and wait. I fear if I let you stay here you’re either gonna distract me into burning down the kitchen, or you’re just gonna burn it down yourself!” 

Dazai couldn’t hold in the laugh as he lifted his hands in the air. “Alright alright~ My dearest wifey’s wish is my command~” Chuuya kicked his shin. Then pushed him out of the room. Dazai supposed he deserved it, but that didn’t stop him from whining about how this surely qualifies as domestic abuse.

Chuuya was right. Because of course he was. Having the food cooked tasted better than the canned version. It was such a stark difference that Dazai even went and ate another small portion. Chuuya looked more than satisfied as he happily watched the last spoonful of rice disappear into Dazai’s mouth. After they were done eating, Chuuya placed the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and took a shower himself, then the two boys went to stand on the terrace, overlooking the city they found themselves in.

“If it weren’t for the force field walls, it would look like nothing went wrong in this country, ever.” Dazai commented after a while. They were high enough up to have the wind mess up their hair. Chuuya’s was a little long, Dazai noted as he watched his partner tuck a stray orange strand behind his ear for the nth time. If they did end up on a shopping trip, he’d definitely buy a set of hair ties for the redhead. That is, if they somehow managed to get money. They were two 15 year olds who grew up with no jobs, no income, and no need for such things. After all, no one out there cared for money. And most of the things they owned were stolen from abandoned shops.

Chuuya nodded as he stared down at the busy streets, filled with people and cars and public transportation. “Ignoring the force field, it looks just like books and pictures describe a big city.” He said. It was quite an intriguing picture. Sure, they both knew what cities were. They had read books, they had seen pictures, Dazai heard a bunch of stories from Oda as well as visiting survivors who lived free before everything. But seeing it live was a whole different thing.

“Ne, Chuuya.” Dazai started. Chuuya hummed and looked at him. “How do you think these walls happened? How do they work? And what are they made of? Do you think the government had them ready at the getgo when the subjects were released?” Chuuya shrugged. “I mean. I guess they had to. These cities would have been destroyed otherwise. And I don’t think they could rebuild whole civilizations this quickly in just a few years.”

They both went silent again. Dazai closed his eyes as his ears focused on the noise far below them. Voices. Engines. Footsteps. Tires squeaking on the street. Oda showed him a cassette recorder once, when he was younger. He had played a tape and had said that it was the sound of the city prior to the subject release. Back then, Dazai had found it hard to believe since all he knew was the silence of a land that faced cataclysmic destruction. Hearing it now, he thought he might understand what Oda had meant by calling it ‘White noise that makes silence much more bearable’.

“What’re you thinking of?” Chuuya asked, successfully pulling him from his thoughts. Dazai opened his eyes again and turned to look at his partner. “Odasaku. He once played me a cassette tape of city noises. Told me he used it as comforting white noise while writing.” Chuuya looked at him with interest. “He writes? Like- books?” Dazai nodded. “He said that he always wanted to be a novelist. I don’t know what he worked as before he took me in, but he wasn’t happy with it. And then he was so busy with survival that he barely got to writing anymore. He started again, when I was getting better and could properly help with stuff. Later, he also wrote stories for the kids he took in. Sometimes he asked me to draw illustrations for these stories so they’d be easier to understand. And then we’d show them the finished product. They always enjoyed these stories.”

Dazai took a deep breath to sort through the memories in his head. Where were they now? Where did the government bring them? Was Oda coming up with stories to tell the kids so they wouldn’t be scared? It would be in character. 

Chuuya’s head came to rest against Dazai’s shoulder who side-eyed him in return. “We’ll find them. I’m sure. And then we’ll get them out and to safety. And then Oda can write all the stories he wants.” He said, sounding absolutely certain of the plan. Dazai gave him a small smile. “Well, if Chibi says so, then I guess I’ll just have to believe him~”

They remained on the terrace a little longer until they were interrupted by what seemed to be the doorbell. The two of them pulled back, turned around, and walked back inside, opening the door and coming face to face with the same young man who found them the day before.

“Hey boys!” Ranpo cheered in greeting. Dazai took a look around. No raccoons or shy rich men anywhere. “Ed’s at work, and Karl is his raccoon so he’s with him. I came here alone.” Ranpo clarified at the unspoken question. Chuuya scoffed. “Can you like- read minds or some shit? It’s like you always know exactly what another person is thinking.”

Ranpo made a face, then crossed his arms. “You’re one to talk, Mr. I-know-exactly-what’s-happening-in-Dazai’s-head-at-any-time. The only difference is that I am merely a good detective while you just share a brain cell with him.” Chuuya choked and spluttered, coughing loudly at Ranpo’s words. “I DO NOT–” He started. Ranpo cut him off with a wave. “You do. Anyways! Are you guys ready to come to the agency with me?” He asked instead. 

Dazai and Chuuya exchanged glances, then nodded. “We’re ready.” Chuuya said. “Great!” Ranpo replied and turned on his heel. “Then let’s get going already1 My colleagues are waiting for you! Don’t forget your keycard!” And just like that, they were off.

—

It was a much different feeling to walk through this city without exhaustion clinging to their bones. The trip to the agency didn’t take long and soon enough, they were being led through a café and up various stairs. Ranpo stopped in front of a door and turned to the two boys. 

“Alright so, as of right now, we have our boss, then there’s our doctor, and then there’s me. We work full-time at the agency. But there’s also our part-timers. They’re students, mostly. But they occasionally work with us and spend a lot of their free time at the agency. Oh and- Almost all of them are subjects! Legal subjects, but subjects nonetheless. So you guys don’t have to worry.” Then, without further words, Ranpo slammed open the door, yelling a loud ‘I’m back!’ as a greeting.

Like a primal instinct, Dazai’s hand grabbed Chuuya's. Chuuya took the hint and they walked in together, holding onto one another.

Dazai’s eyes swept across the room as he noted down several people. The first person he saw was a woman, who looked around Ranpo’s age, maybe a little older. She had dark, brown-purple-ish hair with a golden butterfly hair clip. She was polishing a… chainsaw? Was that it? Whatever the use of that may be. The next person was another teenager, a bit older than Dazai and Chuuya were. He had blond hair and glasses and was intently staring at a book in front of him while scribbling down on a notebook at a speed Dazai didn’t think was possible for writing. The next person he saw was a boy who couldn’t be older than 10 sitting on the ground, tending to some potted plants. Short, blond, hair, a smile on his face, he happily waved at the newcomers the moment he noticed them. 

“Hi! I’m Kenji!” He introduced himself immediately before lifting up one of the small clay pots. “I’ll introduce you to my plants too, if you want! And my cow! You definitely have to meet my cow!” Dazai stared at the kid in mild disbelief, then turned to Ranpo. “...Does he work here too?” Ranpo shook his head and smiled. “Technically, he doesn’t. But he loves helping out wherever he can so he might as well be an honorable member.”

“You could call him a rescue case. We got him out of a tricky situation and he’s been living here since.” A new, deeper voice spoke. Up until now, Dazai hadn’t even noticed the remaining person in the room. He was older than the rest. With silver hair and tired eyes, wearing a long Yukata with what seemed to be a Katana strapped to his side.

Something in Dazai’s mind clicked. He knew this face. And this voice. And while his memory was hazy, he’d never forget that moment from 8 years ago. Admitst ruined buildings, dead bodies, and lots of destruction.

“You’re the knife guy!” Dazai shouted, making the entire room stare at him in utter confusion. Well, everyone besides the man in question who seemed to know exactly that the 15 year old in his office was the 7 year old he once saved. And Chuuya, who, unbeknownst to his partner, had a similar flash of recognition when meeting this man. Said man closed his eyes with a nod and stepped out from behind the desk, walking up to stand in front of Dazai. “Long time no see, kid. You’ve grown a lot since back then. I take it you escaped and were well cared for?”

Dazai stared at the man who probably had so many answers to so many questions he always wanted to ask. But now that he was right here, he wasn’t so sure of whether he even wanted the answers right now. 

“I’m Yukichi Fukuzawa. Nice to see that you’ve made it through.” Then he turned to Chuuya. “You too. I assume you go by Chuuya now?” Dazai’s head whipped around. This Fukuzawa guy knew Chuuya, too? There was so much about this whole situation that just felt strange. Once again, he cursed whoever was responsible for his memory loss.

Fukuzawa turned to Ranpo and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Great job, Ranpo. You really managed to bring these two here. Out of everyone you could’ve found, they were my last guess.” Ranpo beamed at that, seemingly all too happy about the praise. “Thanks, boss! Are they–” Fukuzawa shushed him swiftly and nodded. “More on that later. For now, please go ahead and find who they are looking for. Before anything, I need to call someone.”

Chuuya stepped forward and stared at the man. “You’re not gonna tell the government where we are, got it?” Fukuzawa sighed and nodded. “No. That wasn’t my intention. It’s someone else important who’s ought to know about this. But you don’t have to worry. He’s more than aware of the circumstances.” At that, Chuuya untensed and shrugged. “Alright, but if anything goes wrong I will–”, “-Probably level the entire city. I know. I’m not gonna tell anyone who would try to harm you.” And with that he grabbed his phone and disappeared into a side room.

“Well, looks like it’s us then. So, who is it that you’re looking for?” Ranpo asked. Dazai returned his attention to the detective. “Ango Sakaguchi is his name.” Ranpo clicked his tongue and his mouth formed an ‘o’ sound. Then he smiled. “Well, that’s easy! I’ll call him and tell him that you’re here to see him!” And just like that, Ranpo also disappeared with his phone, leaving the two boys alone in the room with the other agency members. The two felt more than a little out of place. Thankfully, the younger boy with his plans was more than happy to take over the introductory round.

“I already told you my name, right? Come on you two! Say hi to the new people!” He told the remaining two in the room. The young woman chuckled and stood up from her seat on the desk. “Welcome in. I’m Akiko Yosano, the agency’s doctor! Are you guys Fukuzawa-sensei’s infamous trauma children?” Dazai had no idea how to reply to that. Trauma children? What did she mean by that now? The woman seemingly caught onto his conflicting emotions and laughed. “Well, doesn’t matter too much I suppose. Nice to meet you!” She reached out her hand and Dazai hesitatingly took it for a handshake.

“Osamu Dazai.” He introduced. “And this is Chuuya Nakahara.” Chuuya waved at her, his other hand still preoccupied holding Dazai’s. Dazai looked over at the other guy in the room. “...And that is? I don’t think he has moved much at all since we entered.” Yosano rolled her eyes and went over to smack the back of the poor teenager’s head. “Kunikida! Introduce yourself already! You can’t spend all day staring at your math exercises!” Kunikida sprung up like a whac-a-mole figure and gave them a stiff wave. “Doppo Kunikida. Now can I please finish my exercise?! This class test is important and these two newcomers weren’t in my schedule today!” He complained before continuing his furious scribbling.

Yosano sighed and walked back to the two boys. “Don’t mind him. He’s taking some advanced mathematics courses and some important exams are coming up so he’s been spending all his time brooding over his homework or whatever. Up till now no one has managed to successfully interrupt him.”

Of course, Dazai took that as a challenge. It sounded way too funny. He grinned at Chuuya and then walked over to Kunikida, stealing the book right from his desk. Kunikida protested loudly but Dazai ignored him, choosing to instead look at whatever exercise he was working on. “Interesting.” He mused. Kunikida looked like he was seriously considering strangling him. Dazai went on, completely unbothered.

He read through the task, smiled, then set the book back down. “The answer is -13,46!” He said and grabbed a stray pen, scribbling the number in large letters all across the notebook page filled with all kinds of equations.

Kunikida stared at him intently. Dazai grinned. Kunikida looked at his exercise and worked through it. Then he sent Dazai a glare. “That would be correct. How did you figure that out so quickly?” He asked. Dazai walked back over to Chuuya who looked to be at the same time impressed by Dazai’s math skills, but also unimpressed at his urge to annoy the poor teen. “I’m just good at math!” He responded. “How old are you again?” Kunikida asked. “15.” Dazai responded. Kunikida was in disbelief, Yosano burst out laughing. “Holy shit Kunikida! You got beat by a guy two years younger than you! In your best subject! How’s it feel?”

Kunikida only grumbled something and went back to rapidly working through his tasks. 

Yosano turned to the two boys, still laughing. “You’re funny. We’re keeping you guys. Welcome to the agency family.” Kenji nodded excitedly and shoved a potted plant into Chuuya’s arms. “Welcome to the agency! Here, have this one I just replanted! It’ll grow beautiful flowers!” And while Chuuya looked absolutely lost, holding his apparently newly acquired plant, neither of them had too much to complain about.

—

About half an hour later, Ranpo returned. Just in time for Dazai and Chuuya to finish  listening to Kenji’s extended presentation on how to care for each and every one of his houseplants. Dazai had no idea where the child got his energy from.

“This better be important, Ranpo-san. I had to reschedule an important meeting to get here as quickly as possible.” A male voice sounded from the entrance. Dazai and Chuuya turned to look at the man Ranpo brought with him.

Dark hair, glasses, a coat that almost looked like a suit and a composed scowl on his face. Dazai got up from the ground and dusted off his clothes. “Ango Sakaguchi?” He asked. The man gave him a court nod. “That I am. And you? Are you the person Ranpo said was looking for me?” Chuuya walked up next to him. “We both are. Though him, you should know.” Ango raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And who is he?”

Dazai tugged on his sleeves. “I’m Osamu Dazai. Oda Sakunosuke sent us to you.” He said. Ango’s eyes widened slightly. “Oda did send you here after all? What happened to him? Is he still alive?” Dazai stared at him for a moment, trying to categorize his face and whether he’d seen him before, but he couldn’t. Instead, he opted for answering the question. “We don’t know. We think the government may have abducted him. He told Chuuya and me to escape and find you and that you would know what to do going forward.”

Ango pressed two fingers to his temple and sighed. “Looks like I might have to go and find him, then.” Dazai immediately took a step closer. “You can do that?” Ango nodded. “Yes. I can. But it’ll take quite a while. But I do have something to give you. Just- give me a moment, I always carry it on me.”

Soon enough, he seemed to find what he was looking for, pulling it out of his coat and holding it out to Dazai. It was a credit card. An actual credit card. Dazai only heard of these in stories. He looked up at Ango who gave him a somewhat friendly smile. “It’s from Oda. he transferred all his money onto my bank account when he fled. Then told me to put it on a different one and give it all to you if he ever were to send you to me. He said that he didn’t need the money where he was going. And then asked me to keep it safe until there was a use for it.”

Dazai held the card in his hand carefully, like it could break. Even though he was sure these things weren’t easy to break. He looked up at Ango again. “Why did he do that?” He asked. Though in his mind, he felt like he might have the answer already. A hand was placed on his head, the touch strangely reminiscent of Oda’s. Dazai let him.

“For as long as I’ve known him, he’s always had a soft spot for kids in unfortunate situations. So when he found you, it wasn’t even a question for him to take you in. I think your situation in particular hit a little too close to home: A government experiment raised to do their bidding and live a life of being controlled. When he talked to me about you, when he asked me to help him, he said, and I quote: ‘No matter what happens to me, I can’t let them have him. So even if everything goes wrong, even if I end up dead or otherwise incapacitated, especially then, I want Dazai to live a normal human life in the normal human world. Which is why I’m asking you to give him this if I ever send him to you. He’ll find you. I know it. He’s a very smart kid.’. So here I am.”

Dazai went quiet. Oda had anticipated this outcome. Yet he still focused on keeping Dazai safe rather than preventing it. A familiar arm pulled him back into a side hug. Chuuya was there, with him, once again grounding him in reality. “So he told you to safekeep his money for Dazai? How much is it?” The short redhead asked. Ango shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure. But I do know that it’s a lot. Enough for a person to live from for multiple years. Enough for someone to build up their own existence without struggling in the money department. He also left his keys with me and his apartment is under my ownership, so you’re free to have it should you need it.”

Dazai shook his head and held the card close. “We were given an apartment already. However, can I still keep a copy of the keys? Just in case?” Ango nodded. “Sure you can. I’ll have one made and give it to you. As for the next step of the supposed plan… Well, considering you’re here, I think that part might be taken care of already. Right, Fukuzawa-san?” Dazai noticed the man’s return only now. Fukuzawa typed something on the phone he had used to call whoever it was that he apparently had to contact. “I’ve told him. He knows. Now we can’t do much but wait.”

Dazai felt strange. Like this was some game and he was a game piece being moved across the board without knowing what even was happening. He tugged on Chuuya’s sleeve, searching for the slightest hint that the other boy felt the same. Chuuya squeezed his wrist. A confirmation. Neither knew what they were doing here or what these adults were talking about. Said adults turned towards them after finishing whatever it was they were talking about. Dazai didn’t hear a thing. His mind felt a little like TV static right now.

“Alright boys, you’re free to go for now. I believe someone will be contacting you shortly and explain a bunch of things you might have questions about. In the meantime, you can go around and- I don’t know- Buy clothes? Go to the arcade? Whatever kids your age like to do. And you’re always welcome to drop by the agency at any time.” Fukuzawa said. Chuuya looked at him confused. “Weren’t we supposed to help you with something regarding a file to get back at the government?” He asked. “Sure, but we’d rather you get used to your new environment and maybe take a break for just a minute before we systematically dig up your childhood trauma.” Ranpo chimed in. “You don’t always have to be on the move. Take a break for once. Plus, we’ll do much better figuring everything out once you two have a clearer picture of what is going on here.”

Dazai didn’t know what to say to that and retorted to scooting closer to Chuuya.

Just a few days ago, Chuuya was still a little unfamiliar to him. But now, in this place, with these people, with this everything, he was the only thing Dazai felt like he knew. He hated it. He hated the feeling of unawareness, of not knowing what it was that was happening. It was the worst. He was supposed to have a plan, he was supposed to know how to deal with the situation. But now it just felt like everything he had ever known was wrong or at least had a very skewed perspective. It even overwhelmed his supposed genius brain. Maybe Ranpo was right. Maybe he really did need a break.

“Chibi.” He spoke quietly. Chuuya turned to look at him. “Can we go outside? Walk around? Do some shopping? Just- air. I need fresh air.” Chuuya immediately got the hint.

“Well then. If we’re not needed here for the moment we’ll go around and explore the city, alright?” Various mumbles of agreement. And then Chuuya was pulling Dazai along, out the door, down the stairs and outside. Suddenly, Dazai’s head already felt much clearer.

“You good Mackerel?” Chuuya asked with a frown. Dazai took a few deep breaths, then nodded. “Yea. Just- A lot to process. There’s so much happening to us right now but I feel like none of it is under our control and that makes me anxious. I know they’re trying to help, but–” Chuuya finished his sentence for him. “-but it feels a bit like we’re being pushed around on a chess board with no control over our moves while everyone makes decisions for us. Yea. I get that.” 

Dazai sighed as he started walking into a random direction. Chuuya followed. “I appreciate their help, I really do. And of course I’m glad we have a place to stay and money. But it just feels a little weird to me. It feels a bit like–” Dazai stopped, thought over his words, then continued. “It’s like they all know who we are, what we are, where we came from and what we did, while I don’t even know any of that about myself.”

Chuuya stopped them in their walk, stepped in front of Dazai and then pulled him into a tight embrace. Dazai melted against his partner. Chuuya started drawing random patterns on his back.

“You’re you, Dazai. An annoying Mackerel who successfully survived an apocalypse and helped the people important to you. And while your memories might be messed up, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re gone for good. I’m sure we can find a way to get them back. And then you’ll remember. You’ll remember your past. And you’ll remember yourself. I know it. Now let’s get away from this dumb agency for a while and have some fun, alright? We have money now, so let’s see what we can find! Come on shitty beanpole!”

Dazai smiled.

Yea. Chuuya was certainly someone special.

—

The 2 teens lost count of how many hours they spent running around the city. They entered stores, looked around, and bought a bunch of clothes and other little things they could really use.

Chuuya found an especially soft brand of bandages for Dazai. One that wouldn’t scratch at his skin and irritate or reopen cuts. They were specifically produced to allow the user to go 24/7 with bandages without any discomfort. 

The two boys chose clothes for each other. Some were genuine choices, some others were simply chosen to embarrass each other. It was quite funny, running through the store and being chased by an angry Chibi wearing a neon green hoodie along with yellow pants. The game was called: Letting your partner choose clothes for you and you have to put them on with your eyes closed so you wouldn’t see what they looked like until gaining permission to open your eyes and see them.

It was safe to say that the shop owners and employees developed many, many questions about the two strange teenagers messing around.

In the end they did buy clothes that actually looked good, leaving the store with two full bags each. Dazai had initially tried convincing Chuuya to use his gravity ability to make them float rather than having to carry them. But Chuuya argued it was too dangerous since someone could see them and start asking questions.

Another thing the two boys bought were phones. And a few console games. The house itself had a gaming console already, so they wouldn’t need that. The electronics store had a nice employee. She didn’t ask a single question when the 2 15 year olds needed help to figure out how paying for a phone service and getting phone numbers worked. It took a bit, but afterwards they were set up with functional phones. Of course they immediately added each other to their contact list.

Chuuya’s phone now held a contact named “Shitty Mackerel <3” while Dazai’s phone held a contact named “Darling Chibi of mine <3”. Chuuya had angrily protested at his name on Dazai’s phone, but the protests died down as soon as Dazai laughed loudly and accidentally said that Chuuya was the best in a genuine moment of sappiness. And if Dazai’s cheeks had heated up immensely at the realization of his own words, then that was just the laughter getting to him. Nothing else. Not at all.

It was already afternoon when the two finally decided to make their way back to their apartment. And Dazai couldn’t help but notice how a lot of the tension present in his body earlier that day had vanished. Whether that was because of the fresh air, the genuine fun he had, or simply because of Chuuya’s presence, he didn’t know. Right now, the two of them were walking down the street, cups of something called ‘Bubble Tea’ in their hands. It was a drink with strange bubbles in it that would pop when sucking them into your mouth. Dazai’s drink tasted like liquid, slightly caffeinated cake. How he managed to define the taste as such was unclear, even to him.

It was there, while walking down the street, when Dazai spotted an accessory store. He immediately nudged Chuuya, pushing him in the direction of said store. The shorter boy didn’t protest and they stepped in. Dazai knew what he was looking for. Something he’d seen in the storefront. Chuuya watched in slight confusion as the other rummaged around through a display of various different chokers.

“Why the heck are we in here? Don’t you have your bandages already?” Chuuya asked. Dazai found what he was looking for and grinned. Bingo.

“Now now Chibi~ These aren’t for me. They’re for you!” Chuuya stared at him blankly as his brain visibly processed the information. Then he immediately glared at him. “HA?! Why are you putting a choker on me?! What’s that about?!” Dazai grinned as he held up a simple black one made of leather.

“Well, for one: Chuuya would look good in a choker.” Chuuya choked on the oxygen he attempted to breathe in. Dazai laughed. “Don’t die on me now!” Chuuya looked like he wanted to punch him for the nth time that day. “Well then don’t just say stuff like that!” He complained. Dazai simply stuck out his tongue in response, making Chuuya roll his eyes. “Whatever. Fuck you. What’s the second reason?”

At that, Dazai calmed himself a little. “The scar from removing the tracker. Ranpo said bandages would look weird on you while a scar would be too obvious. This could be a good alternative. It’s really soft on the inside so it won’t be uncomfortable or dangerous.” Chuuya actually seemed slightly taken aback at that idea. He didn’t move when Dazai reached out to put the choker around his neck and test the size. After some looking, Dazai nodded. “Yup. That checks.”

They took some time picking out a few more chokers. They were mostly black, though some had patterns or decoration. Dazai’s personal favorites were the completely black one, as well as one with a fish-shaped buckle at the back. Chuuya only scoffed at his selection, but bought it anyway.

The afternoon sun shone down on them as they left the store. Dazai picked up the fish choker and looked at Chuuya expectantly. Chuuya rolled his eyes then sighed amused. “Fine you dumbass, you can put it on me.” Dazai grinned, then carefully unraveled the bandages, taking a moment to inspect the wound. It was healing up nicely. Sure, a scar would remain, and sure, the numbers were gone, but that was fine.

Dazai carefully settled the choker around Chuuya’s neck, tightening it just enough so it would stay put without causing harm or discomfort. Then he stepped back to look at his partner. Of course he’d been right. Chuuya looked amazing with it. Dazai thanked his mind for the idea that brought him this picture.

“Stop staring you fucking simp.” Chuuya commented. Dazai gasped and crossed his arms in a pout. “I am NOT a simp!” He said. Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “...So you admit you were staring?” Dazai felt the same warmth on his cheek that was typical for his feelings around Chuuya. “...Maybe a little?” He admitted. Chuuya snorted, amused, then he leaned forward to press a small kiss on the tip of Dazai’s nose.

Well, it was safe to say that Dazai squeaked, malfunctioned and went completely red then and there, causing Chuuya to start cackling, making Dazai even more embarrassed in return.

“...What did you do that for Chibiiii?!” He complained. Chuuya calmed down and ruffled his hair. “Just felt like it.” Dazai was hit with a weird flash of déjà vu before he managed to stop himself from overheating.

“Let’s go home, Mackerel.”

Home. It felt so weird to say. But it fit. 

—

It was only when they entered their place, that Dazai realized they had forgotten to buy actual groceries. Well, maybe they’d be fine. What was one more day of canned meals in the grand scheme of things?

Only, that they apparently did have groceries in their place. A large bag of them, at that. Filled with all kinds of things.

“Chibi? Did you magically summon a whole bag of groceries into our living room?” Dazai called. Chuuya poked his head out of the bedroom where he was sorting their clothes into a closet. “No? Why?” Dazai hummed in confusion, staring at the bag on the table in front of their couch. “Well someone brought over a lot.” He spoke. At that, Chuuya floated down from the second level, landing next to Dazai and joining in on his conflicted staring.

“Do you think it was Ranpo? Or Poe? Or some other agency member?” The redhead asked. Dazai shrugged and lifted the bag. “Well, whoever it was, thanks to them, we don’t have to eat canned food for a while!”

It was then that something fell out of the bag. Something Dazai hadn’t seen before. It was a piece of paper. And written on the paper in beautiful handwriting that could almost be considered calligraphy, a message.

Life can be hard on anyone. It’s understandable that you’ll get overwhelmed at times. Especially if there are drastic changes. It’s suffocating, isn’t it? And then someone tries to help, but it feels like they’re ripping control out of your hands. We get that, because we’ve been there. And our advice is: Stick with each other, the both of you. If you have trust and understanding, you can do anything. It’s what kept us sane when too much was happening. True partnership is a precious gift. Treasure it and rely on it. That way, everything is going to be much easier. And that way, the world seems just a little less scary. Never forget: You’ve got each other.

We had a feeling you could use these. So we picked them up and delivered them right into your home. We baked some cookies for you too. Have a pleasant evening.

Signed

P.V.

A.R.

Both boys looked at the letter in contemplation. Neither had any idea where it came from. “...I don’t think it’s from anyone from the agency.” Dazai said. “My only question is: How the fuck did whoever put this here even get in in the first place?” Chuuya added. Dazai shrugged and set the letter down, taking a closer look at the contents of the bag.

“...There really are cookies in here.” He said.

Despite the mystery, Chuuya was all too happy to have fresh cooking ingredients and made sure they’d get a 5-star dinner that night. Afterwards, they sat down on the couch, shared the cookies and tested out the games they acquired during their shopping trip.

Unbeknownst to them, two certain other people were doing something similar in their own home. The only difference was that they weren’t playing games, but instead talking about the two boys in question.

“Do you think they’ll be alright?”

“I don’t know. But I choose to believe in them.”

“Maybe we should go pay them a proper visit one of these days to check on them?”

“Sure, we can do that.”

“...I’m a little cold.”

A quiet chuckle. “Come here, I’ll wrap us in some more blankets.”

Chapter Text

“I’m home!” Dazai poked his head up from the couch. He was laying down, playing some game on his newly acquired phone, watching over their apartment while Chuuya had been out getting some apparent household objects they were missing. The bandaged boy waved his hand in a greeting.

Chuuya put down the bag he was carrying and strolled over to the couch, giving Dazai, who was sprawled all over said couch, a glare, the retorting to sitting down on top of his partner, making him wince. “Chuuyaaaa! Don’t be mean!” Chuuya scoffed and crossed his arms. “You’re occupying the whole couch you lanky bastard!” Dazai simply gave up and sighed, dropping his phone and looking up at Chuuya.

“Found what you were looking for?” He then asked, nodding towards what must be at least 30 kg worth of equipment for household chores. “Yup. But it was damn complicated and I kept getting strange looks from all the adults!” Dazai laughed and crossed his arms. “Well. You are a 15 year old guy. From what I know that’s not exactly the target demographic they sell these to. It’s more like 40+ year old housewives. And while you might as well be my wife… You’re not 40!” The way Chuuya instantaneously flushed was funny enough, so Dazai didn’t complain about the punch he received. “Shut up you fucking ass. I’m not your wife!” Dazai only laughed more.

“Anyways. There was this young cashier lady who asked me if I just moved here and then she told me about some super amazing coffee shop or some shit? Apparently they’re a popular date place and make the best Croissants in the entire city. She gave me a gift card for couples and then went on and on about how her boyfriend recently broke up with her and how this gift card was now useless and then she told me to find some girl to take there.” Chuuya grimaced as he held out a card. Dazai took it. It advertised a bakery slash coffee shop and basically offered the owner of the card free baked goods and drinks for two.

“...So, some random lady gave you this and then went on about her relationship troubles? Was that why you texted me you were being held up by the cashier and would take a little longer?” He asked and squinted at the establishment’s name. It looked french. “Precisely.” Chuuya grimaced. “She only let me leave after the story was getting a little too detailed for me and I told her I really had to get home. I’m  not returning to that store for a long, long time.”

Dazai nearly let out a wheeze at the image of Chuuya awkwardly standing at the cash register with his purchased items and listening to a stranger rattle off her personal issues. “Aw Chibi~ Maybe she hoped you’d take her out instead!” Chuuya’s frown deepened. “Ew no! Get away with that!” Dazai chuckled and sat up, carefully freeing himself from the tiny idiot using him as a chair. “Not interested in girls?”

Chuuya scoffed. “First: She was far too old. Second: Who the fuck overshares such details literal 10 seconds after meeting someone? Third: No. I’m not interested.” Dazai raised an eyebrow. “Not interested in dating, or just not interested in girls?” Chuuya leaned back into the couch. “I honestly couldn’t tell you if I tried. There’s never been anyone, nor any type of person I was interested in.” Dazai perked up at that. “Not even in that old group of yours? Not even just to try and see what it feels like?” Chuuya shook his head. “No. There hasn’t been anyone. Ever. What about you?”

Dazai couldn’t help the relief flooding him. He chalked it up to being happy that there was someone else like him. No other reason. And definitely not because his heart constricted at the thought of Chuuya with someone in that way. No. Why would anyone ever think that?

“Same here. See, I always see it in books and stuff. People our age developing crushes on a lot of people. Or being attracted to celebrities. Or fictional characters. And I never understood it. I thought something was wrong with me because it’s not something I feel. Well, I guess I also did spend the entirety of the life I remember out in the middle of nowhere with barely any visitors. But even pictures and magazines and such never had any effect on me. So I guess it’s kinda nice, knowing that it’s like that for you too.”

Chuuya looked at him for a few moments, then smiled. “Yea, I agree. I saw a bunch of people my age and even younger develop crushes within the sheep. There were also some who apparently had a crush on me? But it was never something I could relate to. So I just kind of had to sit around there and watch. Do you think it has something to do with what we are?”

Dazai looked down. He didn’t know. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. “Maybe subjects like us are unable to develop crushes or fall in love?” Something inside him doubted that. His brain screamed, pointing at the warmth he felt around Chuuya. Dazai pushed it away. Chuuya shrugged. “I guess we’ll learn it with time.” 

They were silent for a moment. Then Chuuya got up and stretched before reaching out his hand for Dazai.

“Hey, shitty Dazai, let’s go on a date!” Dazai’s head immediately snapped up as his brain short-circuited. Chuuya looked at him with a grin. Dazai opened his mouth to say something, then didn’t manage to say something, then closed it again. Chuuya started laughing and Dazai never wanted the sound to stop.

“Aw come on! We can still have fun! After all, we do have a gift card for this apparently amazing coffee shop!” Dazai managed to pull himself together, then got up too, taking Chuuya’s hand. “Alright, I guess we’ll go on a date then, if Chuuya is that desperate~” Chuuya used his free hand to punch him. Then he dragged him towards the exit. “Let’s just go. Don’t assume shit.” Dazai chuckled and then followed him outside.

—

The coffee shop looked nice enough. There were lots of people outside, enjoying the summer sun. But for Dazai, with his bandages, his hoodie, and his jacket, it was much too warm, which was why he and Chuuya decided on going inside where the AC did a great job of cooling everything down. They found a free booth, sliding in on the same bench with ease, their proximity as natural as breathing.

The coffee shop had an actual menu, offering various baked goods, snacks, ice cream and drinks. Naturally, they ended up sharing a menu despite there being another one available. They did spend most of the time over the menu that listed iced coffee. It was something else completely new to them and they were sure as hell gonna try it.

“Well hello there boys.” A calm voice sounded from next to them. The two lifted up their heads in perfect sync, taking in the man standing in front of him. He was tall, with long, black hair, wearing a long-sleeved shirt and, most noticeably, a scarf wrapped around his neck. In his hands he held a notepad as well as a pen. He looked tired, but an easy smile sat on his face. “Welcome to our coffee shop. What can I get you?”

Chuuya held up the gift card. “What can we get for this?” He asked. The man’s expression seemingly softened further. “A drink of choice, something to eat, as well as a dessert. One for each of you. Though for you two specifically… You can have as much as you’d like. It’s on the house.” Apparently, the two boys must’ve looked extremely confused, because the man chuckled and pulled his scarf to the side a little. There, on the side of his neck, a series of numbers. Another subject? But how in the world had he known– Dazai swiftly checked whether his bandages were still in place. Chuuya’s choker was also hiding everything properly. So how?

“You needn’t worry. I’m certainly not gonna tell anyone. I just wanted to be nice.” The man then spoke. Still confused, but less hesitant, they both ordered what they wanted and watched as he wrote everything down in his notepad. He looked up and gave them a nod. “Alright, I’ll be back with your orders in a few.”

Dazai decided to ask, before the man could disappear to his work. “And you are?” He turned around again. “My name is Arthur Rimbaud. And I own this shop, along with my husband.” The answer was good enough and Dazai left him to his devices.

As soon as he was gone, the bandaged boy shared a look with Chuuya that held quite a few questions. A coffee shop ran by subjects? Or well, one subject, at least. Dazai didn’t know subjects could just casually own such a place with no issues. Then again: The Armed Detective Agency also ran off of subjects. At least as far as he could tell. Though he was unsure if Fukuzawa was one of them. He didn't remember anything about the man besides the day he gave him a knife and told him to remove the chip.

“His isn't cut out. What do you think that is about? Is he just actively roaming free?” The brunette asked. Chuuya shrugged. “We know that there are subjects who are legally allowed in the city, must be one of those. Though I am kinda surprised he manages to run a shop with this amount of success. I didn’t think too many people would be fond of beings like us.” Chuuya contemplated. Dazai stared down at the table. “Probably the reason why he wears a scarf in the middle of summer. Maybe he’s hiding it so people won’t get too suspicious. Like we do with our scars.” 

Before they could speak another word of the situation, a new person showed up next to them, placing down their iced coffee orders. Dazai looked up and locked eyes with another adult male. Though this one didn’t look as friendly. His long, blond hair was braided on the left side of his face, bangs covering the right. A hat rested on his head. And while his expression was probably intended to look intimidating, the fact that he was wearing a light pink apron over his white dress shirt and was partially covered in flour made everything more funny than scary. Nonetheless, he was somewhat glaring at Dazai who suddenly questioned whether this man was capable of reading minds and aware of every single wrong thing he ever did in his life.

It was then that Dazai noticed something else about his appearance. Said something being a clear and undamaged code on the neck. It read ‘ABN12’. Now that was certainly something. A subject. Though this one didn’t seem to care about his code being out in the open at all. The man slid in the booth across from them, still staring them down. Dazai felt Chuuya scoot closer to his side. Strangely enough, when the man redirected his focus to the redhead, his expression suddenly softened and he visibly relaxed. “Hello, Chuuya. Been a long time hasn’t it?”

Chuuya, who’d been about to grab his iced coffee, immediately stopped his action and slowly turned to stare at the stranger. Dazai’s fist clenched, ready to punch and run the moment this guy would be stupid enough to do anything like attacking them, but no such thing happened. Instead, they were simply being stared at.

“How do you know my name?” Chuuya finally asked. The man smiled. “Well, it would be a terrible thing if I didn’t know my own little brother’s name now would it?” Dazai froze. And Chuuya? Well, he immediately choked on his own breath, falling into a coughing fit and punching the table. His partner immediately proceeded to break free from his momentary existence as an ice statue and reached over to pat Chuuya’s back until the boy calmed down.

“I don’t have a brother. Who the fuck are you?” Chuuya asked in a dangerously low voice as soon as his coughing fit stopped. The man almost looked disappointed. “Haven’t you at least heard of me? After all, you are what I was supposed to be. You are their successful experiment. You’re the one who didn’t lose control. The one they wanted to control. Yet they never told you about my existence?” Dazai felt as dumbfounded as Chuuya looked.

“What on earth are you talking about?!” The redhead asked while aggressively sipping on his iced coffee. The man across from them sighed. “Alright alright. My name is Paul Verlaine. Maybe they weren’t so keen on telling their new subject what happened to the old one so as to not cause any issues or possibly even inspiration. But considering the state you managed to put this country in, that didn’t work out now did it?” Chuuya hissed. “Say another word. I dare you.” But before any more replies were made–

“Paul, please, don’t scare the kids like that. They didn’t do anything to you!” Dazai turned to the side. It was the scarf guy from earlier, Rimbaud. He reached out and placed his hand on the blond’s - Verlaine, apparently - shoulder. The sitting man immediately seemed to relax, tension visibly leaving his body.

“My apologies for my husband’s behavior. He can be a little… hostile at times. Don’t mind him.” Rimbaud explained. Dazai looked between the two of them. So the stranger who claimed to be Chuuya’s brother was the other owner of the coffee shop. Well, at least that was something that made sense. The redhead next to him grumbled. “Well then, can you please kindly tell your husband that I do not have any siblings and have no idea what he’s on about?” He asked through gritted teeth. Chuuya looked uncomfortable. Something about the blond’s words must’ve really tipped him off. The brunette couldn’t tell how much truth there was to it. And what it all even meant.

He turned to Verlaine and decided to ask for the information himself. “Why are you talking about it like Chuuya is the one responsible for what happened? He didn’t do anything. He was protecting people while a lot of the other subjects were destroying Japan.” He inquired. Verlaine raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Shouldn’t you know?” Dazai didn’t. Well, he did know that it was something or someone called ‘Arahabaki’ Who caused the subjects to roam free in the first place. Courtesy of Oda as well as some of their visitors telling him about it a long time ago. But Arahabaki was a god of destruction or something similar. A monster that, according to everything he’d heard from their various visitors throughout the years, couldn’t be called a human, couldn’t even be called a subject. And Chuuya certainly didn’t look like whatever it was they described.

“Interesting.” Verlaine said but didn’t elaborate further, looking at Chuuya. “If you don’t mind, may I borrow you real quick? I gotta talk to you. And if this one-” He pointed at Dazai. “-genuinely doesn’t remember anything, I’m sure you’d rather we take this conversation somewhere else.” Chuuya hesitated. He looked at Dazai, then at the two men, then back at Dazai.

“...Okay. But only if you tell me why on earth you think I’m your brother.” Chuuya then grumbled hesitatingly. Dazai’s heart rate spiked up. He didn’t like the thought of leaving Chuuya with the stranger. Not at all. Chuuya silently placed a hand on Dazai’s thigh under the table, drawing circles with his finger. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” The former said. “I’ll be back in no time, alright? You wait here.” And while Dazai still didn’t like it, he trusted Chuuya’s judgment and let him get up. His ‘brother’ also stood up and gave the other boy a nod. “I won’t hurt him if that’s what you’re so concerned about. Quite the opposite, actually. But there are some things I need to clarify before I can offer any proper help. Arthur, stay with the bandaged kid will you? We’ll be back soon enough.”

And then Verlaine and Chuuya were walking off, through the coffee shop. Dazai let his eyes linger on his partner until he disappeared behind a door that was titled ‘Staff Room. Do not enter.’ What were they gonna talk about? Would Chuuya tell him later? Was this really someone the redhead knew from the past or was it just a random nobody who’d gotten just a little too much information from god-knows-where?

His train of thought was interrupted by a plate sliding across the table in front of him. He looked to find a croissant as well as some cookies on it. The cookies looked familiar. Almost like the ones that appeared along their still unsolved grocery delivery the other day. Across from him, Rimbaud took the seat his husband had occupied just a moment ago.

“Don’t overthink it too much. Paul might seem a little scary and hostile. And I suppose it must be quite strange to have a person neither you nor Chuuya have seen before appear and claim to be his brother, but he doesn’t have any ill intentions. He knows what it’s like to be trapped and mistreated as an experiment by the government because he’s been there. Though it’s been years since then.”

Dazai eyed the croissant, plucked a piece off and ate it. It was true, it did taste good. Apparently the woman who told Chuuya to come here was right when she said these croissants were great. “Another subject, hm.” He contemplated. “There are quite a few of those here. I didn’t know there were some who were actually allowed to roam free until a little while ago. Thought it’d be more difficult since they’re the ones who messed everything up. Thought there’d be more people hostile towards subjects because they’re scared.” 

All of the visitors him and Oda had over the years were scared. And whenever Dazai had to use his ability to protect any of them from harm due to an enemy subject, there was rarely such a thing as thank yous. He helped and in return, they treated him with the same hostility as they did the enemy he’d just protected them from. It was one of the reasons why Dazai made it a big point to not use or even mention his ability unless it was absolutely necessary.

Rimbaud sighed. “It isn’t easy. Not really. Even those who are legally living in the cities usually tend to hide the code on their necks with clothing-” He pointed at his scarf. “-or accessories. Like your friend. And you too, I suppose.” Dazai’s hand unconsciously moved to his bandages. Rimbaud continued. “Subjects are always looked down upon. Whether it’s someone insulting or mistreating us, whether it’s shops refusing to offer service to subjects, whether it’s people running away out of fear or disgust as soon as we approach them, it’s normal. Most of the general public doesn’t perceive us as human beings. The only thing they see are the monsters who destroyed their perfect lives.”

Dazai was silent. Despite not being in the city for long, he could definitely see it. It truly wasn’t much different than the survivors outside. And while he couldn’t exactly blame any of them for fearing those who hurt them, he also couldn’t help but feel like mistreating subjects in general, even those who made an effort to try and be normal people, wasn’t the way to go. Plus, were the subjects really the only ones to blame? After all, from what he’d known, a lot of them were imprisoned and used by scientists like they were tools or weapons. Shouldn’t these scientists at least take some of the blame too? Dazai couldn’t help but think of Chuuya. He had said he was created as a weapon. And yet, when it came down to it, he still chose to protect those who needed help rather than destroy those who hurt him.

Then he also thought of Verlaine. Verlaine, who didn’t hide his code at all. Actually, why was that? He lifted his head to look at the other man. “Your husband doesn’t hide his neck. Do people also treat him like that?” Rimbaud’s face was overtaken by a small smile. “Of course they do. Try to, at least. But Paul never cared what others said about him. He’s showing off his code as an act of defiance. He’s making it a big point to prove that subjects shouldn’t be pushed around the way they are. That people can’t bend and break him by pressuring him in the form of mistreatment. He also finds it entertaining to force the people trying to do so into a corner. On our last grocery trip, the cashier tried to refuse ringing him up due to him being a subject. Said something along the lines of ‘Monsters like you don’t need food. Go get lost.’ Paul then pressured him more and more, holding up the line at the cash register, and even had the guy call for his boss with whom my dearest husband discussed for a full 30 minutes until everyone was so annoyed and done with the situation that even the customers in the line yelled at the cashier to just let us pay and get it over with already.”

Rimbaud looked proud, almost delighted at the story. And despite Dazai’s initial suspicion of Verlaine, he couldn’t help but laugh at the images running through his head. And somehow, he could imagine a certain other person doing the exact same thing easily. No doubt about it. After a moment of silence he looked up. “Sounds like something Chuuya would do.” He said.

Rambauds smile softened. “So, you’re Chuuya’s partner, hm?” He asked. Dazai had the strange feeling this man meant the word ‘partner’ in a different sense than he did. Nonetheless, he nodded. “That I am. …Do you know him too? Chuuya, I mean?” Rimbaud’s expression morphed into something contemplative. “I’ve heard of him. I’ve seen him. But I never got to talk to him. Well, I suppose I did know him, somewhat at least. Both of you, actually.” 

As the bandaged boy’s expression evolved into something between staring and glaring, Rimbaud looked at him confused. “Is something the matter, kid?” He asked. Dazai nearly threw himself across the table. “You knew me too?!” He asked. The man jumped at his sudden outburst and blinked at him. Some of the other coffee shop visitors also turned to look at them in confusion. Dazai immediately sat back down and composed himself. “Sorry. Just- I’ve met a few people who apparently know exactly who I am. Or was in the past, at least. But none of them told me about any of it. And I don’t remember anything either.”

For the millionth time in his life, Dazai silently condemned whatever was responsible for his amnesia. He glared at the table and tried, as he had so many times, to recall something beyond waking up in the destroyed facility, but nothing came. His head was an empty, dark void of nothingness.

“You know, I struggle with some amnesia regarding my time trapped in the laboratory as well.” Dazai listened up. “It was the scientists. We don’t know why they did it. But most of the things I know about that time only came back to me while Paul told me about them. Though a lot of it is still quite blurry. I have a feeling it might’ve been something similar with you.” Dazai’s fingers were tapping on the table. “…So it is possible to recover memories? At least if the scientists were the ones taking them away?” Rimbaud nodded. “We believe so, yes.”

Dazai found himself with some hope, at last. Maybe, just maybe, his situation was similar. Maybe there was an existence beyond destruction. Even though he was well aware that it probably wasn’t pretty. “Thanks.” He spoke quietly. Rimbaud rested his arms on the table. “No need to thank me. I’m simply telling you that you’re not alone. And I’m sure you can figure the rest out yourself. Any more questions?”

Dazai thought it over, thought of anything else he could ask, and he did find something. Although he didn’t exactly know how to put his question into words. The conversation with Chuuya. The one from this morning. Dazai’s stomach churned with some strange emotions once again. His mouth was faster than his brain as he blurted out his question.

“Do you love your husband?” He immediately cringed at whatever the heck it was he just said. Rimbaud looked completely taken aback. Dazai wanted to sink into the floor and die. “I mean- love. Can subjects feel love? That’s what I wanted to know- just- if it’s possible.” He stuttered out. Gods. This was humiliating.

Rimbaud laughed. Dazai crossed his arms and pouted to himself. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Not at all. The man across the table calmed himself down. “Yes. We can feel love. And yes, I do love my husband. Why are you asking?”

“Maybe subjects like us are unable to develop crushes or fall in love?”

“I guess we’ll learn it with time.”

“Nothing.” Dazai said instantly, slapping his own cheeks to stop the red color he knew was spreading there. Rimbaud watched him intently. “Are you perhaps worried you won’t be able to love Chuuya the way you want to because you’re a subject?” Dazai stared at him. “Who said anything about—” “-Just a feeling.” 

The brunette found himself slamming his head on the table. This was so dumb. He didn’t have a crush on Chuuya. He didn’t! He never had a crush on anyone! And, sure, he could admit that the redhead was pretty and all. And that he liked annoying him. And that he knew he’d be safe around him. And that he made him feel warm and even fuzzy. And that he trusted him. And—

Okay. Maybe he did have a crush. Rimbaud looked far too amused at his misery.

Before their conversation could continue, Chuuya and Verlaine reappeared next to them. Dazai felt a familiar hand poke his head. Chuuya’s fingers were pressing gently into his hair. “Shitty Dazai. Did something happen?” Dazai opted for simply shaking his head, remaining with his face glued to the hard surface beneath him. Chuuya snorted amused and sat down next to him to which Dazai carefully looked up.

Apparently, having a conversation with Chuuya put Verlaine in a better mood. At least he was no longer directing the same glare at Dazai as before. Instead he and Rimbaud both excused themselves, suddenly realizing they still had a business to run and couldn’t just spend the day talking with two teenagers who happened to be subjects. They left them while saying something along the lines of how they could stay at the shop for as long as they wanted and Verlaine urged Chuuya to tell him when they were leaving. And then it was quiet in their booth again, the voices of the two men fading into the background.

“So?” Dazai asked. Chuuya took one of the cookies. “I get why he considers me his brother now. Though there’s no biological family involved.” Chuuya responded, chewing his snack. Then he looked at Dazai surprised. “These are the same cookies that came with the anonymous grocery delivery!” Dazai pulled on Chuuya’s hand and bit off part of the same cookie as well. Chuuya was right.

“Huh.” Dazai eyed the cookies. “Guess that’s a mystery resolved. But how in the world did they know we exist and how did they get into the apartment?!” Chuuya shrugged. “Dunno. Something with their abilities maybe?” They didn’t dwell on it for too long.

The two boys spent the better part of the afternoon at the coffee shop, trying out different things from the menu and playing games and bickering. It was peaceful. Dazai understood why this place was so popular. And Rimbaud and Verlaine seemed perfectly content having them around, though Verlaine sometimes still sent glares in his direction. 

It was around 6 PM when their peace was interrupted. Rimbaud had just locked the door and was now cleaning the tables while Verlaine was doing the counters. Quiet music was playing on a radio somewhere in the background. Chuuya and Dazai were still around, though they did plan on leaving to go to their own place soon. Chuuya had promised him crab ramen for dinner after all.

Then, the radio station interrupted the music for an apparent emergency announcement. The two adults stopped in their tracks and so did the two teens. Verlaine walked closer to the radio to turn up the volume and all four of them gathered around to listen to what was going on. Since it was an emergency alarm, It had to be somewhat important, at least.

“Hello citizens of Yokohama. We as your radio team must briefly interrupt our scheduled program to speak out about a global warning.” The four exchanged looks, but none of them could guess what happened. “We are certain that you’re aware of the name ‘Arahabaki’. If you’re unfamiliar: Arahabaki is the creature responsible for unleashing the subjects upon Japan and its population.”

There it was again. Arahabaki. Dazai felt his partner tense up significantly next to him and sent a worried sideway glance at him. Chuuya looked incredibly pale. Did he know something about this apparent God of destruction? Chuuya had been there and he maintained his memories after all. The radio speaker continued.

“Arahabaki is classified as the most dangerous of the subjects which is why the government has been trying to monitor and capture it for many years. It is unfortunate to say that they have fully lost track of it a few days ago. As of now, it is on the run and nowhere to be found which is why we were forced to make this announcement. Now, it is very unlikely it will make it into the city as we have the Null Curtain to protect us. But the warning must be said nonetheless.” Dazai turned to the two adults. “The Null Curtain?” Rimbaud was the one to respond. “It’s the forcefield around the city. That is the official name.” 

Dazai felt Chuuya’s fingers grab his arm and dig into his skin with tension. It hurt, and he had a feeling Chuuya didn’t mean to do it. So he placed his own hand on top of the small redhead’s. Chuuya almost seemed… Afraid? Now that wouldn’t do.

“Don’t worry Chibi! Even if Arahabaki finds us, I’ll protect you. Don’t panic. Your fingers are gonna cramp and you’ll hurt yourself.” Chuuya immediately lessened the pressure and stared up at him, expression unreadable. “I’m not scared of him. Not like that, at least. Just–” The other boy cut himself off, like he almost said something he shouldn’t have. Dazai squeezed his hand. “Just?” He asked. Chuuya’s lips pressed into a thin line and he didn’t say another word. Well, wasn’t that just great? Now Dazai was even more worried. The broadcast continued.

“But fear not, people of the city. Everyone is doing their best to figure out where the monster went. The National Security and the military are working closely together to find and apprehend it. In fact, there are some leads even you citizens can follow and possibly help with. We’ve gotten a description from a group of young outsiders who previously were affiliated with the loose subject.”

There it was again. Chuuya tensed. His breath hitched. He looked like he was on the verge of a panic. Just- what was he so worked up over? Surely this wouldn’t be that much of an issue. So what in the world scared him so much?

“I’m sorry.” The Chibi whispered so quietly, Dazai almost didn’t hear it. An apology? For what? 

But then, slowly, oh so slowly, some form of realization settled in. Suddenly Dazai felt like he knew where this was going, even before the speaker said it out loud. And then he felt a little stupid for not having this realization sooner.

A subject that the government actively tracked, attacked and tried to retrieve for years.

A group of young outsiders who knew the subject and were willing to give out useful information.

The way Chuuya tensed up whenever the subject release or Arahabaki were mentioned.

The panicked look on the small redhead’s face as he still clung to Dazai’s arm for dear life.

“They say that the last time they saw it, it was walking around as a 15 year old male with orange hair and blue eyes.”

It. Dazai wanted to strangle whoever was speaking. How were they so casual about referring to the missing subject as an it ?! Like he was some inhumane monster? This Arahabaki wasn’t a monster. Well, at least not to Dazai’s knowledge. And he was pretty damn sure he was right. The blatant dehumanization made his blood boil.

“It goes by the human name Chuuya Nakahara. If you see it anywhere, please alert authorities immediately.”

Chuuya was staring at the radio. His grip tightened further. Dazai detected shaking in his movements.

“Don’t let its appearance fool you. It’s nothing but a creature that brings death and destruction, as much as it may look like some regular 15 year old boy. Do not fall for any tricks. Do not let it get close to you. And please make sure to call the police if someone who matches the description appears somewhere. We have to put it back into containment. Where it belongs. Where it can’t hurt anyone. It was never meant to roam free.”

Dazai had heard enough. His next actions felt like muscle memory, albeit distant and different. He didn’t think much about his own movements, didn’t even remember half of it until a loud crash resounded through the coffee shop. 

His right hand hurt. His left arm was wrapped protectively around Chuuya who was looking at him with wide eyes. It was silent. The voice spewing nonsense was no more. In fact, the entire radio was no more. All that remained was a trashed version that looked like it had been hit with a hammer. Dazai found himself wishing the thing he just smashed were the speaker’s head rather than the device.

Dazai unclenched his fist and took a step back, shaking off the remainder of the sudden spark of pain. Miraculously, his hand was perfectly fine.

“There. Better.” Then he turned to look at Chuuya. “Let’s go home? I have a few questions now.” Chuuya stared at him and didn’t respond. Dazai forced his hostility away and sighed. He wasn’t angry at his partner. Not at all. “Sorry. Just- The way they described you made me upset.”

Chuuya’s eyes widened even further if that was possible. But then he reached out for Dazai’s hand and threaded their fingers together. Dazai found himself relaxing into the touch. It was much better than Chuuya’s anxious clawing at his arms.

They left with a rushed apology to the two adults who simply told them that it was alright. Then they walked off in the direction of their home.

After the two boys departed, a long silence stretched through the shop. After a while, Rimbaud finally spoke up. “Well, looks like despite his amnesia, his protectiveness over Chuuya is still there. I think it’s quite sweet.” Verlaine sighed. “I can see that. Well, I suppose we can only hope it won’t end like it did last time.” Rimbaud hummed in agreement. “We’ll see.”

After another stretched silence-

“Let’s stop by the electronics store around the corner? We need a new radio. And this time, we have to keep it far away from Dazai.”

Rimbaud chuckled and gave his husband a nod.

“Of course. Just let me finish the tables real quick.”

Chapter Text

Amidst death and destruction sat a single little boy.

Said boy was clutching a bracelet close to his chest with tears in his eyes.

He was violently sobbing, speaking the same word over and over again.

“A0.” He would yell, then repeat it many more times.

But there was no one listening to the boy. There was no one around. He was all alone, crying out the name of a person who wasn’t there.

Rain fell.

Blood seeped into the ground along the water.

But there was nothing that could be done. His beloved companion was gone and he only blamed himself for it.

—

To Chuuya, the way back to their place was a giant blur of color and noise, the only thing grounding him into reality was a bandaged hand holding onto his own with a tight grip. He vaguely remembered Dazai putting his jacket around him and the hood on his head. It made sense to hide his hair, especially since the news just described it as one of his more recognizable features.

To say he was mildly concerned would be an understatement. He had just been exposed as the most dangerous subject in the country. And while Dazai didn’t seem to hate subjects in general, Chuuya was still worried whether that would change considering just how much of a threat he was.

After all, Dazai didn’t remember him. 

Dazai, A0, his favorite person, the person he’d always loved, the person he thought he lost, the person he thought he had killed , didn’t remember him.

Chuuya knew that Dazai was A0. That much had been proven the moment he nullified his ability a few days ago. And as soon as he figured that out, it was as though every single thing about the now 15 year old slapped him in the face with the message that yes, this was his childhood friend. And no, said childhood friend didn’t remember a single thing of all they’ve been through. It hurt. Worse than any experiment conducted on him, ever. And the thing that hurt the most was that none of it was Dazai’s fault. 

Chuuya was the one responsible for the scientists’ decision to erase their memories. If only he hadn’t called out for Dazai that day, if only he’d been stronger, resisted the pain, kept his mouth shut. Then maybe, just maybe, Dazai wouldn’t have rushed to help him. Then maybe the scientists wouldn’t have decided to wipe their memory. Then maybe he wouldn’t have lost control over his emotions and therefore Arahabaki. Then maybe none of this would’ve happened.

Then again, that would mean that they’d most likely still be stuck as government experiments. Broken beyond repair. And Chuuya didn’t know which option he would’ve preferred.

The radio incident gave him some hope, at least. Dazai got defensive. Dazai didn’t like that they called him a monster. And the spark in Dazai’s eyes at that moment, the protectiveness, it looked just like back then. The same anger. Only this time, the victim was a radio rather than—

Nope. He didn’t like remembering the picture. It had been as gruesome as it had been beautiful.

“Chibi? You still with me?” Dazai asked. Chuuya snapped out of his thoughts to come eye to eye with heterochromatic red and brown ones. He always liked Dazai’s eyes, no matter how many times the scientists referred to them as dead and creepy. Just because there wasn’t much light in them didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful.

“I’m here.” He responded quietly. One look around confirmed that they were back in the entrance hall of the apartment building. Dazai sighed and ruffled Chuuya's hair. “Good. You spaced out for a while. Let's get you inside alright? And then we can think about what to do next.” Chuuya couldn't do much but nod and follow. His partner took the lead and soon enough the door shut behind them, locking them within the safe confines of their current home. 

When Dazai relaxed and let go of his hand, Chuuya didn't manage to hold back the impulse to grab it again. He didn't want the other to let go. It made all the noise much louder. It made the thing in his mind more obnoxious. He already had a headache. The stupid god never shut up. Especially not now. Only when Dazai was touching him, did he feel at peace.

“Don’t let go.” He hissed. Dazai blinked a couple of times, then intertwined their fingers to pull him closer again. “Okay. It’s okay, Chuuya. I’m here.” And it was enough for the moment.

After a few minutes, Chuuya sighed and looked at the ground. “...Scared yet?” He asked his partner. Dazai’s expression didn’t change. “Scared of what?” He asked. Chuuya used his free hand to play with the bracelet around his wrist. “Of me? And the fact that I’m the monster who caused all of this in the first place?” He continued. Dazai was quiet for a moment and Chuuya almost thought he was actually scared. But knowing this Mackerel, the guy wasn’t that easily rattled. So instead of pushing Chuuya away and telling him to get lost, he pulled him into his arms.

The moment he was completely engulfed in Dazai’s warmth, it was as though everything would be alright. The feeling of safety, the feeling of familiarity, Chuuya recalled many moments such as this. Painful experiments, exhausting days, yet all the time, when he returned to the other, there’d be a hug waiting for him. Nowadays it remains comforting. Maybe even moreso. Curse Dazai and the fact that he was taller than Chuuya now.

“Didn’t I tell you something along the lines of you not being a monster multiple times already these past days?” The brunette asked, words pressed into Chuuya’s shoulder. “You’re Chuuya. Whether you destroyed the facility or not, I don’t care. It doesn’t scare me. You don’t scare me. And I’m not gonna let people talk down on you because they think you’re dangerous. To me, you’re not dangerous. It’s just something I know for some reason.” Chuuya wanted to strangle and hug the dumb fish tighter, both at the same time. Really, if Dazai were to continue with this, Chuuya was at a definite risk of his extremely embarrassing and inconvenient childhood crush growing into something bigger that he could suppress even less than whatever it was he was feeling right now.

“You don’t scare me, A5158. In fact, I think those red swirls look pretty on you!”
“You really think so?”

“Of course! I’m just sad that they hurt you so much.”

Well, Dazai never cared for how dangerous he may be. And even without his memories he managed to remain completely calm. Till this day, it was a mystery how his brain worked. Seeing a monster that could very easily kill you and your thought process being ‘beautiful’? Well. Chuuya blamed Dazai’s lack of sense of self-preservation on the fact he was raised the way he was. Or maybe it was just an overall personality trait he possessed, considering how it hadn’t gotten any better in the eight years he spent outside of a laboratory.

Chuuya sighed and stepped back, looking at his partner. “Alright shithead, what do you wanna know?” He asked, deciding to just go for it and hope he could answer the questions without going into too much detail about past experiences the other didn’t remember. He was unsure what he would do if Dazai found out he was the A0 Chuuya had been telling him about.

“So. You’re Arahabaki?” He started. Chuuya gave him a faint nod. “Well. Technically I’m not Arahabaki itself. Arahabaki is simply a singularity that was sealed in my body. They needed a human vessel to keep it contained and use it and I just happened to match the requirements.” Dazai thought for a moment. Then, apparently, he understood what their intentions were.

“So, when you told me you were created to be a weapon, it means they sealed this thing in you to use its powers?” Another nod. At least the genius was quick at picking up on things. “I assume that didn’t exactly go according to their plans then? Considering the state of the world? I don’t think they intended for the destruction to happen.”

There it was again. The part he hated to remember. It took him a moment to put together words that weren’t something along the lines of ‘They wiped your memories and it made me so angry that I destroyed the containment facility’, but he eventually settled for: “They hurt someone I care about and I didn’t manage to keep my emotions in check which made me lose control.” Dazai regarded him with a thoughtful expression, then he stepped back and reached up to flick Chuuya’s forehead. Chuuya immediately found himself glaring at the fish. “OW! What the fuck was that for shitty Dazai?!” He complained. Dazai simply smiled. “Silly Chibi. And here I thought you caused destruction out of your own free will! Turns out it’s once again the scientists’ fault. I really need to get a plan up and ready to give them what they deserve.”

Chuuya held a hand to his still hurting forehead and slowly blinked at him. Well. That went over much better than expected. What the fuck? 

Dazai’s expression softened and he moved his hands to squish Chuuya’s cheeks. “Well, looks like it happened because you cared about someone who was wrongly injured. Odasaku always told me that there’s nothing wrong with going a little crazy if it’s about someone important to you.” Chuuya wanted to complain again, but every word he could’ve said, wanted to say, disappeared the moment Dazai leaned forward to place a kiss on his forehead and all he could do was stare at him. Dazai pulled back and tilted his head. 

Chuuuya felt his braincells frying at whatever the fuck just happened. Why the heck was Dazai like this?! Where did that action come from? And why oh why was it so goddamn reminiscent of their childhood?! Chuuya really didn’t need more reminders of the things that only he knew of now!

“You’re red. Red Chibi looks much more funny than regular Chibi!~”

Of course Chuuya punched him for that. Dazai laughed and jumped back. And of course the fish avoided him. And somehow, despite his embarrassment, Chuuya already felt much better. At least Dazai wouldn’t judge him. Now he just had to worry about the other people who knew his identity.

Verlaine and Rimbaud wouldn’t be an issue. Verlaine had made it abundantly clear that he was very familiar with his situation and so was Rimbaud, considering they’d been part of the prototype experiment the scientists ran prior to the one involving Chuuya. He didn’t know the details, but he did know that neither of them were scared, nor would report him to the authorities. That only left…

The agency. And Poe. And Ango. And while none of them seemed to have an issue with them being illegally roaming subjects, he wasn’t quite sure what they’d think now that they knew which exact subject they decided to offer help to. Well, maybe Fukuzawa had already told them some things. Chuuya wouldn’t be surprised, considering how much that guy had been involved in keeping the two of them alive when they were kids. Though reality didn’t give him much time to mull over what might happen now, as it decided to hit him with the situation of a certain person stepping out of their kitchen just a moment later.

“Hey trauma children!” 

Both Dazai and Chuuya startled at Ranpo appearing behind them like a ghost. Karl was sitting on his head, Poe was looming behind him like a shadow. This time, it was Dazai who stepped in front of Chuuya protectively.

“Ranpo-san. He didn’t do anything. He's not dangerous. Leave us be. How did you even get in here?!” The bandaged boy spoke, voice laced with a silent threat. Chuuya sighed and tugged on his partner’s sleeve to keep him from lashing out at someone. In the meantime, the detective and his friend walked closer.

“Ed has a spare keycard to this apartment, as he does for all the others! Relax, kid. We already knew.” That made Dazai stop. Ranpo came to a stop about three feet in front of them. “The moment Boss started talking to you, all familiar and stuff, I knew. Though I already had my suspicions prior to that. You’ve just got a certain air of power around you. If I already knew you two would be special cases when I met you, then that just got confirmed when I found out who you guys actually are! And while a lot of us agency members didn’t have the easiest lives, there’s only two people Boss often told us about while calling them his ‘trauma children’. And those people are you two. A5158 or Arahabaki, and the one human being he formed a genuine connection with.”

And, well, wasn’t that just great ?! Dazai wasn’t supposed to find out about any of this before his memories returned. And here Ranpo was, all but stating that he knew Dazai’s real identity including the fact that he’s most definitely someone involved much deeper into Chuuya’s past. Someone who knew him even before the day he picked him up in a grocery store.

To his credit, Dazai didn’t do anything aside from throwing Chuuya a cautious glance that burned about 20 question marks in the air between them, before turning around and facing Ranpo again. Chuuya’s throat suddenly felt like it had been blocked by something. Breathing became increasingly more difficult. And while he knew he had to tell his partner eventually, he didn’t exactly know how to go about it or what reactions to expect.

“So, yea! I do know you two. And I know that our dear Chuuya here is Arahabaki’s vessel! But I’m not worried. After all, Dazai is here to keep the situation controlled in case he spirals. It’ll work, his memory may have been wiped, but he’s still got his ability, right?” The detective continued. Chuuya glared daggers into his direction. “Just tell him everything at this point, will you?!” He snarled. Ranpo only chuckled. “I believe that it’s not my place to tell the story. That honor should go to you!”

Chuuya threw a look at his partner. Dazai was watching the conversation with a tense expression on his face. One of his hands was clenched into a fist while the other tucked at one of his bandages. Chuuya wanted to take one of his hands and keep him from fidgeting lest he may end up scratching around his scars if this continued. But he didn’t have the courage to do so. Dazai looked upset, something that made Chuuya feel real fucking guilty.

“It’s like they all know who we are, what we are, where we came from and what we did, while I don’t even know any of that about myself.”

Heck, the brunette had complained about it already. Told Chuuya how he felt about the situation. And here Chuuya was, aware of Dazai’s identity, while Dazai himself still didn’t have any idea. What an awesome fucking partner and friend you are, Chuuya. Way to fucking go. His brain supplied, very helpful.

“Why are you guys here then, Ranpo-san, Poe-san?” Dazai asked quietly. Ranpo turned over to look at the taller male behind him who’d been watching in silence the entire time. “Well, we’re here to discuss a game plan for what to do next, of course!” Dazai squinted. “A game plan?” Ranpo looked at him again. “Yup! Didn’t you two want to hold the government accountable for everything that happened?” And while the mild tension was still there, Dazai relaxed, seemingly pushing the matter of his past somewhere to the back of his mind. Though somehow, Chuuya felt like they’d most definitely have a conversation about a few things later that day.

“Right. Let’s get back on track then.” Dazai spoke. His calm expression returned. He was in strategy mode again. The group sat down around the dining table, Chuuya and Dazai naturally gravitating towards one another, their chairs close together, their bodies shoulder to shoulder, despite there being a lot more available space on their side of the table.

“So everyone now has a vague description of Chuuya. Orange hair, blue eyes, 15 year old boy. They also know his name. We’ll need a disguise for him.” Dazai started. Chuuya pulled on one strand of his hair and sighed. Sure, he wasn’t exactly unhappy with how he looked. Quite the contrary. But right now he wished he’d have an easier time blending into a crowd. He wasn’t stupid, he knew his looks weren’t exactly conventional for the average japanese person. And that might pose a bit of an issue.

“Must’ve been the sheep who gave the description.” He spoke. The words hurt mildly. After all, he did protect them for years. But as he already told Dazai, he couldn’t blame them for switching sides. They did what they considered best for the group.

“Right.” Dazai gritted out. He looked almost murderous. Chuuya couldn’t help but snort in amusement. “Calm down, Mackerel, you don’t have to curse them with the plague via your thoughts.” Dazai pouted in return and crossed his arms. “But they hurt you! They threw you out! They turned on you! I’m not just gonna let them get away with that!” Chuuya elbowed him in the ribs. “Cut it out, idiot! I’m alright now aren’t I?” The other winced. “But Chibi!–”, “–Nope. You’re straying off-topic.” Dazai grumbled under his breath, something about being unable to guarantee not hurting the group members if he ever got to meet them. Chuuya rolled his eyes and smacked the back of his head. 

Meanwhile, Ranpo was watching in amusement while Poe looked perplexed. “...What’re they doing?” Poe asked quietly. “Expressing their care for each other!” Ranpo replied, much louder. The two teenagers snapped their heads around and glared at the older duo, but it didn’t seem to intimidate them.

“Anyways. Let’s figure this out. Do we dye Chuuya’s hair and give him contact lenses? I’m sure it would look really funny!” Ranpo suggested. Chuuya immediately shook his head, displeased. “Is there an alternative to the dye thing? I don’t really know if I feel like doing that to my hair. Plus, what if it washes out and someone notices?” Ranpo sighed and leaned his back against Poe’s side. “Well. That is something we probably have to watch out for. But that means we’ll need an alternative. Something to cover his hair.”

Dazai thought about it for a moment, then regarded Chuuya. “A hood, maybe? That’s how we made it home earlier.” Ranpo gave him a contemplative nod. “Yea. A hood might work. But people wearing hoods in summer also tend to be looked at with suspicion. But it might work, just gotta make sure as few people as possible will notice.”

“Or.” A new voice sounded from behind. Chuuya whipped around just in time to identify the newcomer before something was set down on his head. Seriously?! How the fuck did this guy manage to get into their house?! Chuuya had a feeling they really needed to up their security measures. Or maybe this person in particular was simply insane. Probably both.

Poe nearly jumped behind Ranpo at the sudden intrusion. Meanwhile, the detective’s expression brightened. “Well if it isn’t the King of Assassins! Gotta say, didn’t expect you to join us!” Said King of Assassins retracted his hand, leaving the hat he placed on Chuuya and taking a step back. “Alas. I’m here. I could say the same about you. But Chuuya here already told me that he and his little companion got some help from a detective agency, so I shouldn’t be too surprised. As for me… I’m simply here to watch over my dear little brother. Didn’t feel right to just leave him alone after what just happened.” Verlaine said.

“He’s not alone. He’s with me. And how did you get in here in the first place?” Dazai asked. Predictably, Verlaine didn’t grace him with an answer. “Anyway. I think a hat will do the job just as well as a hood. And it’ll look less alarming. It was Arthur’s idea.” Chuuya could faintly catch Dazai mumbling something along the lines of the hat being too tacky and looking ridiculous. But he was probably just a little upset that he didn’t think of such a thing sooner.

Another set of footsteps came to a halt next to them, the man they belonged to was catching his breath. “Paul. Didn’t I tell you he’ll be fine? You didn’t have to sprint after him like that! Dazai-kun here was doing just fine watching over him in the first place!” Rimbaud complained. Verlaine crossed his arms. “I’m more concerned over the fact that it is Dazai who’s with him.” Chuuya dropped his head onto the table in front of him, turning his face to look at his bandaged partner who seemed mildly uncomfortable. He didn’t get why Verlaine disliked Dazai so much. They barely even met, but the older was almost hostile towards him, despite Chuuya ensuring him that no. Dazai wasn’t planning on controlling and using him.

Chuuya kicked Dazai’s foot under the table and then hooked their ankles around one another. Dazai looked at him for a few seconds, then pulled himself together with a sigh. “Sit down then, I doubt we’ll be able to send you two away again.” And the two newcomers followed the instructions.

“...You two have certainly made some special friends.” Poe commented, words directed at the two 15 year olds. Next to Chuuya, Dazai shrugged. “We found them in a coffee shop and this guy-” He pointed at Verlaine. “-claimed to be Chuuya’s brother. And now they’re here. God knows why.” he didn’t seem all too thrilled about the company. Chuuya wordlessly sat up and placed an arm around the other’s shoulders to keep him grounded in reality.

“Ah, we’re just here to help. Don’t worry.” Rimbaud said. Ranpo, being as upbeat as he was, seemed perfectly fine with having the two join them. “Welcome to the team then!” Poe also mumbled a ‘Welcome’ and Karl jumped across the table, sniffing at the two men, probably taking in the smell of baked goods. Chuuya resigned himself to the newfound chaos and so did Dazai, both boys silently agreeing on trying to figure out a place to plan on their own next time.

In the end having four additional humans as well as a raccoon around them wasn’t too bad. The group figured out some basic ideas on how to ensure no one would find and identify Chuuya. The hat did the trick of hiding his hair, much to Chuuya’s amusement. Or, well, the fact that Dazai was so hesitant and only begrudgingly admitted to it being a good idea was the part the redhead found funny enough. 

Dazai, however, immediately managed to fight back, bringing up how it was ultimately Chuuya’s height (Or the lack thereof) that allowed the trick to work to hide him in the first place. Obviously, that particular part of the discussion ended in Dazai being chased around the house by his smaller partner, making even Poe and Verlaine laugh at them. 

The group also agreed to find some brown contact lenses for Chuuya that he could carry around, just in case. And that Dazai would be the one to take on a lot of possible interactions such as paying in stores and speaking to strangers. Additionally, Dazai gave him the name ‘Kashimura’, a name he’d use when introducing himself to people who weren’t supposed to know who he truly was. At least he had already changed his overall wardrobe from his time with the sheep. The clothes in themselves already did a decent job at making him look different from the person his former group knew.

It was quite late already once they worked through the pressing issues. At some point, Chuuya had given up on paying close attention to Dazai making up all kinds of strategies for all kinds of possibly problematic situations that could possibly arise. The brunette’s brain worked at 1000 mph and he couldn’t properly follow if he tried. He was just really fucking tired, okay? 

At some point, Chuuya excused himself to go out on their terrace for some fresh air where he dropped to the ground and stared up at the sky. The mild glow of the Null Curtain obscured a clear view of the stars and Chuuya found himself wishing for it to be gone. Running back the events of the day, he barely even noticed how much time he spent laying around. That is, until a new sight obstructed his vision. It was the face of a certain Mackerel, his eyes reflecting the city lights, his face framed with soft, brown hair.

“Is Chibi still alive?” He asked, crouching above him. Chuuya responded with a nod. Dazai plopped himself onto the ground, sitting crisscrossed, face not leaving the other’s vision. “The others went home. Told us to tell them if we need anything. Verlaine said he’ll come over at least once a day to check if I’m still treating you well. I convinced Rimbaud to convince him to bring us some snacks every time he does.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Dazai’s eyes were darting everywhere, something most definitely on his mind. Chuuya sighed. He already had an idea where this might be going.

“Just spit it out already.” He spoke. Dazai gave him a look. Chuuya averted. “You wanna ask something, don’t you? So just spit it out before I fall asleep and have you carry me to bed.” Dazai pursed his lips, still regarding Chuuya with that calculated gaze. “Really? And you’ll answer?” Chuuya shrugged. Dazai  didn’t seem satisfied with that. “Chibi. Can you promise that you’ll be honest with me, that you’ll answer? No lies?”

Chuuya wanted to refuse because he genuinely had no fucking idea how to approach the topic, but this was Dazai. And Dazai was looking at him expectantly in that special way of his that he’d never been able to refuse. “Is it okay if I don’t go into too much detail?” Chuuya asked. Dazai poked his forehead, then nodded. “Alright. That’ll be a decent enough start, I think.” Chuuya did his best to relax. “Okay then. Ask away.

And Chuuya knew what Dazai would ask, knew since he’d given him that questioning look hours earlier while talking to Ranpo. And while he, by no means, was quite ready or prepared, he probably just had to bite the bullet and get it over with. This is Dazai. He reminded himself. He won’t freak out. And he won’t call me a liar. And he won’t hold it against me, probably. It’s just information. Get your shit together already.

A pause. Then:

“Chuuya? Who am I?”

===

A/N: Does this work? (Currently trying to embed the designs I drew for this fanfic's Soukoku.) I'm no professional artist but I hope u like them regardless!

Chapter Text

The young boy woke up, startled,, without awareness of what had happened, where he was and how he got there. The ground he was laying on felt hard and uncomfortable. There were small stones digging in his back.

His sense of pain was the first thing that returned to him. A sensation spreading all over his body, awareness of all kinds of injuries, of cuts and bruises, of blood uncomfortably gluing his clothes to his skin. It was as though every bone, every cell, carried with it wounds he didn’t know the origin of.

His sense of hearing was next, offering him a hazy survey of his surroundings as his vision was still full of white dots and no amounts of blinking allowed his brain to process any pictures. He heard distant voices. He didn’t know what they were saying, yelling. They were too loud to be speaking normally. His ears hurt. The muffled words reached his brain but he couldn’t make much sense of what they meant.

“Away!” Someone yelled. The young boy was certain there was more context, but he couldn’t bother putting it together.

“…gonna do with- … must get them to the professor quickly.” More out of context sentences. They were somewhat close.

“…injured. …unsure whether they’ll survive.” Survive? Who was or wasn’t surviving. He still couldn’t get up. His hands clawed into the ground but he couldn’t muster up the strength to push himself up.

“…taking care of it. You go back. …will be joining later.” 

There was more discussion going on. But the boy refocused his strength in an attempt to get up. It still wouldn’t work. Eventually, he heard footsteps move away from his location.

It was only after that, that his eyes returned to being somewhat functional as the white dots dissipated. The first thing he saw was a giant crater stretching out all around him. There were people. Some of them were wearing lab coats. Others wore much more heavy gear. All of them were yelling orders at each other.

The boy's eyes drifted across the view. Soon enough, they locked onto some much less alive looking humanoid beings, scattered across the ground. There was blood everywhere. With increasing awareness, he noticed various human-looking body parts scattered in various directions. His fingers dug into his own hands. The sight should be horrifying. Or so he thought. But for some reason he didn't feel a thing. There was just… nothing. Besides an underlying numbness to the pain in his body. In fact, some part of him considered this display of death as quite beautiful.

He didn't know what happened. Didn't know how he got here. Didn't know anything about this.

“Kid, you're awake.” A concerned sounding voice spoke next to him. The boy snapped his head around to face the other person and winced. Ow. Apparently, his injuries didn't like the sudden movement.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, holding him down. “Don't move too much. You're hurt.” The voice was male. And calm. It had something comforting to it. “Can I lift you up?” The voice asked again. The small boy gave the other a nod. One arm wrapped around his back, the other lifted him by the legs. The movement hurt and he winced again, hands flying up to claw at the man's lab coat. “Sorry. I don't mean to hurt you.” He whispered again. The boy kept his mouth shut, trying to focus on the face above him.

Silver hair. Blue-ish eyes. His expression spoke of worry. “Just relax. I got you. I'm not gonna let you drop.” The boy was unsure what else there was to do, eyes searching the man's face for any trace of a lie. But all he could see was honesty. And so, considering his lack of other options and overall confusion, he allowed himself to be carried away.

As he glanced over the man's shoulder, he swore he could see another boy, one with bright orange hair, laying right next to the spot he woke up in. But in hindsight, he had been delirious and no longer knew whether that boy was actually there or just an illusion.

“Where are you taking the subject?” A new voice spoke from further behind them. The little boy felt the man who carried him tense up. “Quick. Kid. Go limp. Close your eyes. Slow your breathing considerably.” He whispered. And, like instinct, the small boy complied, doing exactly as he was told. He felt the man move around and turn over. He himself remained in his position.

“He's severely injured. I don't know how much he has left. I'll bring him to Dr. Mori and we'll see if we can do something. But this one might be a lost cause.” He spoke calmly. The boy listened, mildly confused. Were they talking about him? A lost cause? Was he implying he would die?

Sure, he was hurt, but he wasn't dead. And he didn't feel like he was gonna die. But he didn't say a thing, simply playing his role.

“Alright. Make sure to report back to us soon. Y’know the higher ups don’t like not knowing what’s going on.” The unknown voice said. More footsteps. Then the man who was carrying him relaxed. “You can wake up now, kid. They won’t be bothering us for a while.” The young boy opened one eye to look up. The man tightened his hold and walked further. He didn’t know where he was being taken. But the adult seemed to know exactly and so he left him to it.

The boy lost track of time as they walked. Somehow, he didn’t think that a doctor was where he was being taken. Instead, much further from the loud voices, he was set down on the ground, the adult crouching in front of him. “Stay seated for a moment. I need to call someone.” And, well, it wasn’t like the boy had many other choices.

Quietly, he observed his surroundings. The man had propped him up against a wall. Turning his head up, the boy noticed that it looked like the top half of the building had been ripped right off. Their surroundings didn’t look much better. All of the buildings were in some state of destruction. Not a single one looked to be complete. The debris were everywhere and with them, splattered about, pools of red seeping into the ground. Just one meter to his right, a crushed arm was poking out from a particularly large piece of wall.

The boy didn’t know what overcame him. He turned over to crawl towards the arm in question and poked at the fingers. And just like that, it seemed to deflate, more and more blood gushing out of the various open injuries. The jostling must’ve done it. After all, the blood of the dead does not flow. But it does pour out, following the concept of gravity.

The small boy watched as the puddle around him grew. Glossy and red. Maybe he should’ve gotten out of the way, but he was far too transfixed on the way his torn clothes sucked up the red like they’d been thirsting for it their entire lives.

The boy looked at his hands, said hands soaked as well. On autopilot, he brought a finger up to his mouth and tasted the blood. Iron. It flooded his senses. This blood, whoever it may belong to, whatever they may have done to end up in this situation, it tasted quite sweet to him. Like a treat long overdue.

“Kid. What are you-” He was interrupted by the man and slowly turned his head to face him, eyes unblinking. The man had cut off his own words the moment he locked eyes with him. He was staring. Staring like he was looking at an alien creature rather than a child. Said child stared right back. Though whatever it was that the man saw in him, he was unable to tell.

The moment persisted for a few seconds, before the adult collected his thoughts and sighed. “Alright then. Come here.” The boy obliged and made his way forward. His blood soaked clothes dragging a trail of red across the ground.

“Alright. I will tell you something. And no matter what you have to follow my instructions alright? This is something only you can do yourself. I cannot help you. But it’s important for survival.” The boy tilted his head, no words spoken. The man reached out and placed a hand on his head, petting his hair. “You can trust me. You may not have your memories anymore but I mean no harm. You are a subject. A human experiment. And I’m one of your caretakers.”

The boy’s head hurt. A subject? Human experiments? What was going on here? And why didn’t he remember any of it? The man continued. “I know you’re probably confused and scared. And you probably don’t know what to do now. But you will be alright. I’m sure of it. As long as you do exactly as I say, everything will be fine. Can you do that for me?”

The boy didn’t know the man. He didn’t know his name. He didn’t know his profession. He didn’t know his relationship to him. But something deep inside of him told him he could trust him. He blamed it on his instincts. But if the guy said he was his caretaker, then that must mean something, right? And so, he nodded, signaling that he was listening.

The man pulled something out from under his coat. It was long, about the length of the boy’s forearm, and sharp, the clean metal reflecting the light. A knife. It was a knife. And the man was handing it to him. With shaky hands, the small boy took the item. And as soon as he felt the weight, an immediate sense of calm washed over him Like he was meant to hold such an item. “This is for you. You can keep it. It’ll be a good weapon to defend yourself. But it’s not the only thing I want you to do with it.” The boy nodded again, expectantly. What did this man want from him? And what else did he need this knife for?

“You have a chip in your neck, kid. Right at the side. You’ll feel where it is since there’s a code on your skin right above it. You needn’t bother remembering the code. I’d rather you forget all about this and go be happy without your past coming back to haunt you. But you can only break free if you get rid of the chip. If you don’t, they will find you. And then nothing else will matter. You'll forever be trapped in their grasp. And I don’t want that for you. You’ve suffered long enough already. However, I’ll leave the choice up to you. Get rid of the chip and you’ll be alright. If you don’t, you’ll go back to the cage they’ve kept you in. And this time it won’t be easy to break out. I’m sure of it.”

A chip under his skin. A chip that would make someone find him. And then bad things would happen. The boy didn’t want bad things to happen. He looked at the knife. So, was he supposed to just- cut it out? For some reason, the thought of hurting himself didn’t scare him. Not at all. Quite the opposite. Just like the presence of the knife in his hands, it calmed him down. And so, in response, he nodded and tightened his grip on the object. He saw the man smile. It was small, but it was there.

“Someone will come and pick you up. You’ll know when you see him. He means no harm and was sent to get you away from here. I can’t rescue you. But he can. And he will. From now on, you’ll be on your own, kid. But you’ve always been strong. I’m sure you’ll be alright. And maybe we’ll meet again one day. Preferably under better circumstances.” He got up, leaving the child on the ground. “Don’t stray too far from here until you’ve been found. That’s my last request. Is there anything else you’d like to say?” He asked. The boy shook his head and looked up. The adult regarded him for a moment, then nodded.

“Well then, kid. From now on you shall walk free. Choose your own path. Go out there and live the life you’ve been denied thus far. I hereby declare you dismissed from the lab. No longer shall you be referred to as a number. From now on, you will be called Osamu Dazai. Remember that name, alright? It’s been yours from the start, it shall be yours once again.” The boy looked up at the adult who gave him a gentle wave. 

Osamu Dazai , was it? Was that his own name? 

The child, Dazai, could get used to it.

“Our ways must part here. For the moment, at least. I hope that, if I see you in the future, you will have found something better than this life. You’re a smart kid. You’ll be fine.” And with that being said, the man turned around and walked away.

Dazai watched as he left, unmoving. Freedom. Hm? Freedom from what?

Dazai felt like he’d been rescued, somehow. But even so, he didn’t know what he’d been rescued from. The destruction? But hadn’t that already passed? The people in the lab coats? But wasn’t the man who rescued him also one of these people in lab coats? What was his motive?

Dazai once again stared at the knife, remembering the words the man said. He had to get rid of the chip, or something bad would happen.

The steel was cold as he pressed it to his neck. But he didn’t shiver. He didn’t have any form of reaction. With the knife, he traced the indents written on it. If they were spelling out something, he couldn’t remember. But he did feel it. A hard object right under his skin. The chip. It was there. Dazai didn’t know why he lacked hesitation. He just knew that he had to cut it out. It wasn’t like he had much to lose in the first place, even if he died.

After all, he was all alone. There was no one looking for him, no one asking him to return home. At least not that he could remember.

There wouldn’t be anyone who cared if he died. Not within his memories.

Dazai slit the knife across his neck. Pain flashed through his entire being immediately. He opened his mouth to scream, but no words came out. Only a strangled cry, the sound heavy with blood. Hot, thick liquid splashed from where the knife had been. Dazai saw red, literally. His shoulder. His clothes. His hair and face. What hadn’t been soaked with blood before, most definitely would be now. 

It hurt. So, so much. He opened his mouth again. No sound came out. He lifted a hand to his neck. Within milliseconds, he was incapable of seeing his skin. There was only red. So much red. Warm, and sticky. And covering every inch of him.

His vision blurred. He tried to look up, but the world was spinning all around him. The buildings warped. The sky was suddenly on the ground, and so was he. He remembered a mute sensation of hitting the ground, of his knees scraping the stones under him, of his free hand coming to hold up his body while pinning down the knife, the other hand still pressed to the severe bleeding. Everything was shaking. It took him a while to realize that it wasn’t the earth that shook, no. It was his own body. His vision flickered in and out and he feared he’d lose consciousness any moment now. 

Maybe he would die out here. Maybe then someone would find his body and bury him. Maybe then someone would recite memories they’ve made with him. And maybe there, in his grave, would he find out what happened.

He was about to give up, about to close his eyes and allow himself to be pulled into darkness. But then, all of a sudden, he saw a face right in front of him. Or well, what may be a face. He only saw the eyes. Bright and blue, looking at him with so much life in them.

“You need to live!” A voice yelled. It sounded so familiar. But so distant at the same time.

“You promised me!” The voice continued. “You’ll always be by my side! You can’t keep that promise if you die!”

Dazai’s eyes widened. And suddenly, he was awake again. What in the world was that? Who was that voice? And why was it here? But now the voice was gone. And he was alone again. Yet still, to his mild surprise, he found himself standing upright. The knife clutched to his chest. The gash on his neck burned. It still hurt, hurt so much, and he was still feeling dizzy. But he was no longer falling over. Somehow, he found his eyes wet, so were his cheeks. And this time it wasn’t blood. But why were his eyes wet?!

It was then that he heard someone approach. Their footsteps were quick. They were running. Dazai clutched the knife more tightly. He didn’t know how much strength he had left. But he had a weapon, at least, so whatever it was, he’d figure it out. 

The running person rushed around a corner of a building. Dazai tried to glare at them, but he didn’t know how successful it was. The person stopped, just a few meters away from him. Stopped in their tracks to look at him, and Dazai was looking right back.

It was a guy. A young adult, if he had to guess. Short, brown-red-dish hair. He had a determined expression on his face. An expression that morphed into one of pure horror the moment he looked at Dazai. Dazai’s knuckles were white with the strength used to hold the knife. They held eye contact. Neither was willing to look away.

“Dazai?” The man asked. Dazai would’ve jumped at hearing his name if not for the severe pain in every part of his body. Nonetheless, he nodded, too exhausted to put up much of a fight. The man relaxed visibly and slowly stepped closer. Dazai stepped back. One step closer. One step back. Until Dazai hit a wall and couldn’t move further.

“I was sent to retrieve you. I didn’t know why he wanted me to take you away with me. But, looking at you like this, I understand.” The younger boy looked up. Was this the person that the man from before referred to? The one supposed to pick him up?

“You’re severely injured. We have to get you out of here quickly. Will you come with me?” A hand was offered to him. Dazai regarded it with caution, eyes switching between said hand and the other’s face. Once again, he couldn’t detect any lies in the words. And so, although hesitatingly, he reached out to take the offered hand. And despite the horrified expression, the older male offered him a small smile.

“I got you. I know where to go. And I will keep you far, far away from this place. You’ll be safe where we are going. For now, let’s seek temporary shelter so we can treat your injuries. You’re losing so much blood, we need to hurry.”

And with that, Dazai was lifted off his feet. The other male was carrying him away. And despite everything, the little boy found himself grateful. At least like this, he didn’t have to use his energy on remaining upright. Instead, he focused on staying awake just a little longer, while also making sure not to let his knife drop to the ground.

“I’m Oda, by the way. Oda Sakunosuke. 18 years old. And from today on, I’ll watch over you. Alright?” Dazai responded with a weak nod, letting his head rest against the other’s shoulder. “...Odasaku?” He managed to choke out. Oda looked at him for a moment, then smiled again. “Sure. You may call me that if you’d like. Whatever is easier for you.”

When Dazai closed his eyes, allowing himself to be taken away, he was once again reminded of the blue eyes that pierced his mind when he was about to give up on his life. Such a unique eye color. And one he knew would follow him for years to come. If only he knew who these eyes belonged to, who the voice belonged to.

Like oceans, they stared at him. Deep and beautiful. And mysterious. Holding many secrets. Maybe one day, he’d be allowed to find out.

Then, he passed out.

===

Blue eyes stared up at him. Dazai blinked back into reality, leaving the depth of his first, hazy memories, twirling a strand of Chuuya’s hair around his fingers.

“Chuuya? Who am I?”

The entire day had been weird. And earlier, Ranpo all but confirmed that Chuuya knew Dazai. Didn’t only know him from their recent partnership, no, but from much, much earlier than that. So much earlier, in fact, that Chuuya knew his self from before he lost his memories. Chuuya remembered a Dazai who not even Dazai himself knew. Though Dazai still had no idea why Chuuya hadn’t just told him. Hadn’t he made it abundantly clear that he wanted to know who he was? If Chuuya had the answers, then why didn’t he tell him sooner?

Chuuya sighed and avoided looking at him. For a moment, Dazai had some doubt floating about in his head. Doubt about whether Chuuya truly would tell him what he knew. But soon enough, that doubt was cleared when the small redhead started speaking.

“We were children, you and I. Two four year old boys stuck in a laboratory as their secret projects. That’s where we met. In a white room with two chairs. They wanted to check the compatibility of our abilities. You’re a nullifier, while I was supposed to be the vessel for a power they couldn’t control. But you could. You could turn it off. That’s why they paired us up. They never told us what exactly they planned on doing. But I do know that I was raised as a weapon that they wanted to use for their own benefit. After all, it’s not every day someone finds and claims a god of destruction for themselves. And knowing what even a fraction of this god’s true power did to the laboratory, it’s something that would give them an advantage over everyone. But only if it can be stopped. Only if someone can keep it under lock and key once it has served its use. And that was where you came in.” 

Chuuya looked exhausted. His eyes glazed over with memories he didn’t like to think about. Dazai gently continued his fingers’ movements. “And then?” He prodded. Chuuya placed his own hand atop of Dazai’s own. “I’m getting there. Don’t be so impatient, you dumb fish.” And Dazai? He couldn’t help but chuckle quietly.

“You were their favorite, y’know? I still don’t get why. But you’d occasionally get special treatment. Like permission to roam outside of the cell. But only sometimes. And only after we turned five. Though I do think that was partially due to one of our main caretakers developing a soft spot for you. Five was also when they planted the god in my body. After almost a full year of having you and me live together and get used to each other’s presence. We were always supposed to stick together. So that’s what we did. Not like we had much choice in the matter.”

His words reminded Dazai of something, of the few stories Chuuya had told him about his friend from the lab. Those stories… Were they..?

“I don’t know too many details of what it was they were keeping you for outside of controlling me. I believe there was something else. Something just as important. Every single day they’d take you away for a while and later return you. You always looked incredibly pale and exhausted. That was also where a lot of the cuts came from, I believe.” A hand reached for Dazai’s arm. The brunette allowed the other boy to unravel a part of the bandages and trace his thumb across some of the white lines decorating his skin. Chuuya’s touch resulted in his whole body tingling with soft warmth.

“But despite your exhaustion, you wanted to protect me from them. You were always, always ready to do just about anything to keep me from as much harm as possible. Whether it was talking back to the scientists, to even occasionally threatening them that you’d gauge their eyes out if they dared hurting me. Well. That one did kind of happen but- That’s another story, I guess.”

Dazai stared at him, slowly allowing himself to process the information. And somehow, he had never heard anything make more sense than this. The familiarity he felt for Chuuya from the start. The way they somehow worked so well together. The way he always looked at him when talking about his past. It just fit.

“So. The person you were talking about, the person you were friends with. That was–” He started. Chuuya cut him off. “That was you, Dazai. You’re A0 and A0 is you. Though even for me, with my memories, it’s kinda a lot to take in. And I still haven’t gotten used to it.” It was quiet for a few minutes, the background noise of the city and their breathing being the only audible noises.

Dazai felt like he should be surprised, should be thrown off. But in all honesty, he wasn’t. The information felt so right, he couldn’t argue with it if he tried. But if Chuuya really missed him, then why hadn’t he told him any of this sooner?

The short male under him turned his head to the side, eyes focusing on something that wasn’t Dazai. Something that was not there, like he was looking into a different dimension, a different timeline. Lost, confused, deep in his thoughts.

“Chibi? Can you look at me?” Dazai tried. Chuuya blinked back into reality and nodded. Dazai took a deep breath. “...Why haven’t you told me sooner? I believe I did tell you I’d like any information about my past that I can get.” At that, Chuuya tensed, staring at him with a blank expression. Dazai waited. This was fine, he had enough patience. And eventually, Chuuya did cave and answer this question as well.

“...I wasn’t sure whether you’d want me back. Y'know, considering you lost your memories, considering who and what I am. I’m dangerous, Mackerel. I destroyed a whole government facility. I killed a lot of people. There are many things that could’ve been avoided if it wasn’t for my incapability to deal with things on my own. And I didn’t want you to think I was some creepy asshole latching onto you. Be honest, would you have believed me if it weren’t for Ranpo explicitly stating that we knew each other before?”

Dazai hummed in contemplation, tilting his head up towards the sky. It was difficult to see the stars like this.

“I would’ve believed you, I think.” He stated. Under him, Chuuya stared at him with wide eyes. Dazai once again looked right at him. His partner’s expression could only be described as ‘utterly confused’. Dazai tilted his head. 

“Even before I knew this part, you felt different from any other person I met. You feel like someone I’ve known for years, rather than days. You feel like someone who I can trust with all my secrets, all the little details no one else would ever notice. It feels like you and I are meant to stand side by side. Those feelings were there before I even had any suspicion that you know more than you let on. And they didn’t change. Not with this new information, not with anything else. And they won’t. It only makes sense to me. So, yea. I probably would’ve believed you. Even without Ranpo’s input to the situation.”

Apparently, his words must’ve broken something in Chuuya, considering the small redhead lay unmoving for a few moments before dragging Dazai down in what had to be the most aggressive hug any living being had ever received. Dazai yelped at the sudden movement, but then he was already on the ground, Chuuya’s entire body wrapped around him like that of a snake, arms squishing him so tightly he was almost certain his ribs were probably damaged. 

Wheezing out some air, he rested a hand on Chuuya’s back, gently petting him. “Geez, weren’t you the one accusing me of being clingy?” Dazai asked, tone teasing. “Shut up you jerk.” Chuuya responded, voice muffled against the other’s chest, skillfully removing more air from his lungs. “I’m allowed to squish you to death. You gave me explicit permission ten years ago.” And, well, Dazai guessed he’d just accept it.

It took a while for Chuuya to let him go, then he rolled the two of them on the side, eyes meeting in the middle, faces only inches apart. Dazai raised an eyebrow at the other’s expression. He looked like he really wanted to say something, but his dignity wouldn’t let him. And so Dazai decided to ask once again. “Got something else to say? He asked. Chuuya gritted his teeth and sent him a mild glare. “Nope. Nothing.” Of course he was lying, that much Dazai knew. And of course he had to make it abundantly clear that he knew. …By closing in on Chuuya’s face and biting his nose. “Come on now!”

Chuuya screeched out a string of profanities in his response, making Dazai laugh and back off again. Now the Chibi looked even more murderous. Perfect. Dazai rolled away from him and stared up at the sky once again, leaving the other to angrily sit near him. “And here I was, trying to say something soft for once, asshole.” Chuuya grumbled. Dazai immediately listened up. “Oh? And what may that be?” Chuuya huffed. “Well now I’m not gonna anymore, shitty Mackerel! Sucks to suck!” He responded. Dazai grinned to himself. He knew very well it was only a matter of time until he’d hear it anyway. And sure enough, not much later, Chuuya spoke up again.

“...I was gonna say that I missed you. Asshole.” Chuuya almost whispered. Dazai jumped up in a sitting position, his grin smug. “Oh? Can you repeat that?” He asked. Chuuya flushed a pretty pink. “No I cannot! Go away! Forget I ever said anything! Fuck off!” He immediately complained, making Dazai laugh again. It was nice like this. The two of them, sitting on a penthouse terrace at night, happily messing around.

Sure, he was still missing a huge chunk of his memories. But talking with Chuuya, having him tell him about some of the things he’d forgotten, it was a step in the right direction. And it had given him some much needed security in his own existence. He’d been someone before he lost his memories. He had meant something to someone. He had meant something to Chuuya. And looking at things like this, he still did. That was enough for now.

“Hey Chibi?” He asked, getting a quiet hum in response. Dazai moved over to his partner, once again sitting by his head. Chuuya’s eyes were warm and alive this time. No longer as distant as they’d been earlier. “You think we’ll recover my remaining memories?” He asked. Chuuya shrugged, then gave him a determined expression. “We’ll figure it out. There’s gotta be a way. And if that’s too difficult, I’ll personally track down some surviving scientists and make them tell you everything they wiped in extreme detail. I swear.” And somehow, Dazai was certain he’d do just that if necessary.

Chuuya reached up to place his hands on Dazai’s cheeks. “My turn to protect you now. You’ll need it, considering everything.” Dazai allowed the gentle touch and nodded. “I’ll hold you to that, Chibi.” Then the bandaged teen leaned down to press their foreheads together, closing his eyes. 

“I’ll tell you too, y’know? Once I remember, that is.” Chuuya made a noise that sounded like a question. Dazai gladly responded.

“That I missed you, Chibi. I’ll tell you once I remember everything. So keep us alive ‘till then, will you?” 

Dazai didn’t open his eyes, but he knew his companion was smiling as he spoke his next words. 

“You got it, partner.”

Chapter Text

A0 had his eyes closed, curled up on his hard mattress, clinging onto his thin blanket and curling into himself to suppress the pain in his arms. His hands cramped around the fabric uncomfortably, knuckles turning white with the amount of force used.

It was cold in the cell. And quiet. And empty. And A5158 was somewhere with the scientists, being put through his own share of extreme experimentation. A0 missed his friend. Especially in situations like this, where every inch of his body hurt like hell and his cuts were bleeding through the hastily wrapped bandages, he wished for nothing more but the other boy at his side.

Slowly, his eyes drifted to the mattress. The white was covered in small spots of red. It smelled like iron. A0 stared at the blood, eyes not leaving.

“You missed two days because of your part in the Arahabaki experiment. I’m afraid we’ll have to take a little more blood than usual. But you’re a strong kid, aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” Those were the words constantly replaying in his brain. The scientists insisted on drawing more. As if he wasn’t already dizzy enough just by the normal daily blood loss. A0 didn’t even know what they needed so much of his blood for. “One day it’ll make you a hero.” The scientists had said. A0 didn’t understand any of it.

A hero? Him? How on earth was he supposed to become a hero by doing nothing but silently sitting there, enduring scalpels cutting into his skin. Day by day, month by month, year by year, the boy couldn’t remember a time where his blood wasn’t constantly taken. 

Most of the days he felt weak and tired. And exhausted to no end. He’d end up in bed with a massive headache, staring at the floor or the ceiling in this white room, his body in pain and itching. More often than not he’d end up clawing the bandages off, nails digging into injured skin. Blood would splatter, he’d cry and scream, but the only time anyone ever came in to check on him was when he had seriously injured himself. Eventually, he stopped screaming and crying. 

Eventually he only kept quiet. Because even if he asked for help, no one would care.

Oh.

He had done it again.

There was more blood leaking onto the mattress.

A0 slowly sat up, blanket hanging off his shoulders. The mattress under him was completely soaked. His eyes wandered from the mattress to his arms. He blinked slowly and moved his fingers. More blood dripped down. The bandages were fully out of place, revealing damaged skin. The white fabric looked ripped. He focused on his fingers. They were even more red, sticky liquid on them, some of it collecting under his nails along with small pieces of skin.

A0 stared at the blood, mind disconnected from his body. It hurt. He knew it hurt. He felt it hurt. But it was like his brain couldn’t process the information. He just- sat there, unblinking, watching as small droplets ran down his arms and collected on the mattress and in his lap.

The arms looked foreign, like they weren’t his own, even though he knew better. The cuts were deep and controlled once. Now they no longer looked controlled, no. They were open, bigger, leaking more and had obviously been scratched open by his own fingers.

It had been a while since this happened. Usually, he was too busy watching over A5158 to zone out and harm himself. But today, A5158 wasn’t there yet. Wasn’t present to keep his mind awake. A0 was all alone.

“Oh dear.” A voice sounded from the speakers. A0 whipped around to stare at the nearest surveillance camera, abruptly wrapping his blanket around himself tightly, an additional layer of protection, dizziness blurring his entire perception of his surroundings. 

“Would you seize the crying, A0? The sheets are already quite ruined as is. There’s no need for tears to add to that.” The little boy brought a hand up to his cheek. Liquid. Liquid that wasn’t blood. Strange, he didn’t even notice when his eyes started leaking. “And that right as A5158 is about to come back. Don’t tell me I have to clean the blood away.” 

A0 stayed silent. The muddled voice from the speakers only registered in words, not in sound. He had no idea which of the hundreds of guards was assigned to the surveillance room now.

For a minute, it was completely silent. Then the door was shoved open. A0 didn’t move as a group of five people stepped in. He didn’t move when they walked closer. He didn’t move when they were right in front of him. They exchanged words, but A0 couldn’t process them. He barely even processed one of the people picking him up, barely processed pressing his face into a lab coat and hiding his apparent tears. 

He did manage to process a hand carding through his hair. It was an adult's hand, but it was gentle and somewhat comforting. Much more gentle than those who held onto his arms whenever they cut him open. A voice hummed a quiet song. He felt the person who was carrying him move somewhere, though he couldn’t tell where. “Just hold on for a moment, A0. I’ll bring you to your little friend. You’ll be alright.” The voice whispered. Male. It was a male voice. A0 simply held tightly onto the person’s lab coat. Not like he had many other choices.

Eventually, he was set down on a chair. He vaguely heard someone call out his name. The person who transported him stepped back. But just a mere moment later, small hands were placed on his cheeks, thumbs softly wiping off the tear-blood mixture. A0 blinked, multiple times, and then he finally saw the picture in front of him. Wide, worried, beautifully blue eyes were staring at him. And suddenly, he felt safe.

A small sob made it out of his throat, followed by many more, his breathing pattern irregular as he stared right back at the familiar face. The blue eyes. The red hair. It was A5158. He was here.

A5158 immediately jumped on his lap, hugging him close, arms wrapped tightly around his back. A0 carefully hugged back, distantly realizing he was getting blood on the other's clothes, but unable to do anything against it. He felt a nose nuzzle into his shoulder, a small voice whispering that he'd be okay over and over again. And so, A0 allowed himself to silently cry into the other boy's shoulder, holding onto him like a lifeline.

“Is no one gonna treat his injuries? He's bleeding!” A5158 spoke up loudly, presumably looking over at the two adults in the room. “We’re not allowed to unless he’s in mortal danger. It counts as ‘bonding’ with a subject which could get us in a lot of trouble.” Was the answer. A5158 scoffed and hugged him tighter. “But we can’t just leave him like this! Is there really nothing you can do?” He asked, voice exasperated. He was so loud. A0 buried his face further in an attempt to cover his ears and control his headache. Immediately, his companion apologized for yelling. A0 couldn’t respond. His voice wasn’t cooperating.

“…And what if I do it? Can you get me some of this disinfecting thingy to put on injuries and some bandages?” The redhead asked. ‘Disinfecting thingy’? Disinfectant. All A0 associated with that word was the burn that immediately overtook his arms whenever the scientists dumped tiny bottles of it over his irritated skin. His fingers clenched in the other’s shirt. “No.” He choked out. A5158 pulled back and stared at him. “What do you mean, no?” 

A0 swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Burns. Hurts so much.” He continued. “They put it on my arms. Then they hurt me. Then it seeps into the cuts and then the cuts hurt even more. Don’t get that anywhere near me, please.” He whispered. A5158 momentarily looked like he no longer understood the world. “But isn’t it supposed to go on injuries to treat them? Not before they happen? It’s meant to help you, not hurt you!” A0 shrugged. They only ever used it to hurt him. He didn’t even know why.

“Dear boys, I believe in A0’s case here they’re trying to use it to make sure his skin is clean.” The voice of the scientist who carried him earlier explained. A0 looked up. The man looked apologetic, black hair, purple eyes. He looked familiar, but also not. Next to him, another scientist. Silver hair with a tense expression. He didn’t seem too happy about the situation either.

“But why do they need his skin to be so clean! We live in a white room we barely ever leave! There aren’t any germs on him!” A5158 complained. Both of the scientists looked to the side, seemingly unsure how to answer. But A0 already had an idea what the situation was. 

“We’re objects, A5158. Objects in laboratories have to be disinfected before use. It was in that one chemistry book, remember? On the page about safety tips.” He mumbled. His companion stared at him with wide, blue eyes. “But we’re not objects! We’re–” And then he shut up, closing his mouth into a thin line. Because he understood. Both of them understood.

They weren’t humans. They were subjects. To the scientists, they were nothing more than dangerous chemicals standing on a shelf, taken out daily to use for whatever they may need them. The fact that they were children didn’t matter, as long as they were useful.

A5158 dropped his hands and looked down, using a thumb to trace along A0’s open cuts. There was still some blood leaking. A0 didn’t flinch when his companion accidentally pressed down on one of them too hard, but the small redhead still apologized immediately. He looked like he wanted to say something else but they were interrupted by another voice.

“Doctors, the room has been cleaned. The subjects can be returned after changing.” The person who entered stomped over to the two boys. A5158 growled at them. They sighed. “I just need to clean the blood. Go change into a different hospital gown in the corner. Yours is bloodied.” 

A5158 was ripped away from A0 less than gently, making the small redhead send a kick to who took him. Then, a painful scream. Then, A5158 slumped in the person’s hold, a free hand clutching onto his neck. The shock collar. Someone had activated it. Deep in his body, A0 suppressed the urge to jump the scientists with the remote and forcefully rip it out of their grasp along with maybe breaking their hand.

Another person came up to him and seized his wrist. A0 suppressed a wince. If he was too loud, they’d zap him too. A wet towel scrubbed his arms. It hurt. He wanted to scream, but he didn’t. The blood was gone, but now his cuts were irritated again. And some started bleeding again. It didn’t seem like the scientist cared though. They simply wrapped the bandages around the cuts far too tightly. So tight, it almost felt like his blood stream was being blocked. Great, he’d have to loosen them later.

A0 was shoved in direction of the two more friendly scientists. The black haired one caught him and placed a reassuring hand on his head. “Make him change.” The person who just scrubbed the blood off barked as someone else dropped a clean hospital gown in the small boy’s arms. A0 stared at it, then at the black-haired scientist. He hated changing when anyone was watching. He hated all the cuts on his body, he hated to look at himself and only see the scalpels slicing his skin. The scientist seemingly understood and ushered him to the already dressed A5158. “We’ll block their vision. You change with your friend.”

The two scientists did indeed place themselves to hide the two kids from everyone. And A5158 did his best to make himself seem as tall and big as possible to join them. And even in their situation, A0 couldn’t help but find it a little funny. Seeing this tiny, angry redhead trying to protect him filled him with some warmth. And so he wasn’t afraid as he changed into the fresh hospital gown, mumbling a quiet ‘done’ once finished. A5158 relaxed his stance and then took A0’s hand, pulling him close to his side. The other group left the room already. Now it was just the two boys and the two nicer adults who were watching them with some form of underlying softness.

“I guess we should bring the two of you back to your room before the higher-ups get angry. Are you coming?” The silver-haired one asked. The two boys nodded hesitatingly. “Are you alright A0? Or do you need me to carry you again? You might still be dizzy.” The black-haired one asked. A0 shook his head and squeezed his companion's hand. The scientist sighed and smiled. “Alright, I get it. You’d rather stick with your favorite person. Well then, let’s get going shall we?”

They were led back through the hallways. A0 looked around. They were just as white as the rooms. No color. Only walls and doors and bright ceiling lights that always gave him headaches. He might be able to navigate these halls if he were allowed to roam around more. But as of right now, it all was a giant maze. His head was too tired to put it together to a map at the moment.

The way back to their room didn’t take too long. Soon enough, they were gently pushed through the door which then closed after them after the two adults told them goodbye. A0’s eyes locked onto his bed. There was no more blood, but still seemed dirty to his senses. He eyes the other boy carefully. “Can we sleep in your bed?” He asked quietly. A5158 was eager to nod immediately and pull him over to sit both of them down on his bed. Like this, with his companion, A0 allowed exhaustion to take over his body, curling into A5158’s side who maneuvered them both backwards until they were huddled in the room’s corner.

The brunette boy closed his eyes as he allowed the other to gently loosen the most-definitely-too-tight bandages. A5158 was careful and soft. Somehow, A0 knew he could trust him with this.

The two of them remained in the same position for an undefined amount of time, until the door clicked open and revealed their silver-haired caretaker. In his hands, he held a bottle, a towel, and a few rolls of bandages which he placed down on the bed in front of the children with a smile. “Dr. Mori took over the next hour of guard watch duty. Which means you two will have one hour to do whatever you’d like. I brought antiseptic, which is a disinfectant, a towel, and some bandages. That way you can take care of A0’s cuts. We’ll make the security camera blink five minutes before the other guards resume watch duty. That alright?” He asked. 

A0 found his eyes slightly wide, somehow managing to ask a quiet ‘why?’. The scientist sighed. “Both he and I don’t like seeing you suffer. Unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do. They require A0’s blood. It’s his sole purpose besides his ability being intended to use to control you, A5158. We can’t tell them to stop taking it. But we maybe can at least bend the rules a little to help with the aftermath. Now, take care of A0, will you? I’m sure he needs it.” And with that, the man disappeared again.

The two boys exchanged quiet looks. And then A5158 picked up the newly acquired items and turned over to look at the other. “Can I, then?” And A0? A0 gave him a small nod, holding out his arms to work with.

Somehow, disinfectant burned way less when A5158 was the one gently spreading it over the cuts. Maybe it was the fact that his hands were careful and he didn’t intend on hurting him.

===

Dazai’s eyes snapped open. His head hurt. And this time, much different from the past few times, he could vividly remember his dream. The cuts. The blood. The rough treatment. But also, Chuuya’s small hands trying to fix the pain everything else caused. Dazai knew it was him and Chuuya. He just did. The pain in his arms was too vivid to belong to a different person. And even though it was a dream, he couldn’t help but feel like they’ve been recently re-opened.

Dazai sighed and focused his eyes on what was in front of him. Chuuya’s face was merely a few inches from his own, though Chuuya’s expression was completely peaceful. He was still asleep. Dazai threw a look over at the clock. 1:17 AM. Great. It really was still in the middle of the night. His dream must’ve woken him up.

He felt his scars itch under the bandages, an itch so insistent, so obnoxious, like they were begging him to take off the white gauze and look at them. Dazai knew the itch. His body craved a blade on his skin, craved for more cuts, for more blood to be spilled, was basically urging him to lock himself in a room and hurt himself. For some reason, for the first time he could remember, he hated the thought.

Unfortunately, the itch wouldn’t subside. It was right there, crawling through his very being. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin. Like he didn’t belong there, like he desperately needed to release some pressure. For a moment, he simply laid there, thinking. Maybe, just maybe, the itch would become less obnoxious with some fresh air. He could try, at least. It was better than rummaging around his backpack for a razorblade and risking to wake his partner.

With great effort, Dazai detached himself from Chuuya’s sleeping form, swinging his legs over the bed, feet hitting the floor quietly. Slowly, he stood up, then padded over to the door and left the room, making sure to close it without a sound. Chuuya had a long day behind him. He deserved some sleep.

The apartment was dark and silent as Dazai walked down the staircase. There were still some glasses and cups on the dining table from earlier. As he passed by their TV, he noted the screensaver flying around, illuminating the carpet and the couch with low, mild light. Right, he’d forgotten to turn it off earlier when he carried Chuuya to bed after he passed out on his shoulder. Ignoring the TV for now, he pushed open the door to the terrace, face immediately getting hit with cool summer night air.

The terrace was lit up with a few lights, as well as the gentle shimmer of the pool. It was a part of the house he and Chuuya had yet to use. Somehow, it hadn’t come up thus far. The pool was close to two of the three glass walls that made up the terrace, making it so even those swimming could easily overlook the city. Once again, Dazai found himself in awe at the fact Poe had just given them such a place to live without asking for anything in return. It should be suspicious, but it wasn’t. Seems as though some people in the world were just nice like that. The boy really hoped he and Chuuya could be of some help with Ranpo’s investigation. It was the least they could do.

Dazai sat down at the pool, rolling up his pants to dip his legs in the water. But before that, his eyes stopped and lingered on the bandages on them. 

There’s no one here. Just Chuuya. He’s asleep, and even if he wakes up, he won’t judge.

With that thought in mind, Dazai unraveled the bandages around his scarred legs, staring at the long, red lines. He wondered if the scientists were responsible for some of those as well. He didn’t dwell on it too much, simply allowing his legs to dangle in the pool. The water was comfortably cool, soothing the itch just enough so it’d be bearable. And since that worked so well, Dazai also decided to take off the bandages around his arms. Once the bandages were collected on a pile at his side, he shoveled a few handfuls of water on them, then just sort of- sat there, staring at them.

Dazai couldn’t remember a life without his scars. And if his dream truly had been real, then it must’ve started so early that even with his memories, he wouldn’t remember when the first one appeared. All he did know was that they were such an integral part of him that he’d feel awful without them.

See, it wasn’t like Dazai hadn’t tried to stop before. Heck, he’d tried many times, even if just to wipe that concerned expression off Oda’s face and assure the man that he was alright, that he was doing better. But somehow, after a few days, the urge would always be there. And whenever he tried to resist, he felt like something was missing. Like not cutting his skin open took away part of who he was, his identity.

His scars always were the only thing he had left from before he lost his memories. The only definite proof that he was someone once, even if that someone was someone messed up with so many injuries. But the point wasn’t being messed up, no. The point was existing in the first place. The scars were the only proof that he didn’t magically spawn into this world one day. So whenever he tried letting them heal, his body and mind convinced him that he was actively letting go of the only thing he could cling to of his previous self.

Now the scars were no longer the only thing. Now there was Chuuya too. Chuuya, amazing, caring, tiny, adorable Chuuya who seemed more than sure who Dazai was, more than sure that he existed.

Come to think of it, Dazai hadn’t hurt himself once since he picked the redhead up in that grocery store. Maybe, just maybe, he was allowing himself to cling onto something else for once, something that wasn’t harmful. And maybe he could continue doing that. Maybe Chuuya was enough to lessen the constant urge to spill his own blood.

A small body draped himself around Dazai softly. A yawn sounded next to his ear, a nose nuzzled into his neck. Dazai smiled, genuinely smiled. He hadn’t seen him coming, but he knew who it was instantly.

“I thought Chibi was asleep.” He mumbled amused, reaching up one of his hands to card through bright, messy hair. Chuuya grumbled out some sleepy words Dazai could barely understand. “Can you repeat that? I can’t hear a word when you’re pressed so close to me.” He spoke. Chuuya scoffed but complied.

“You left the bed.” He responded. “And I don’t sleep well without you.” He added. Dazai tilted his head in mild confusion, Chuuya seemed to understand his unspoken question immediately. “Arahabaki. He’s loud. Your ability is the only thing able to cancel it out. It’s one of the reasons why I’m always insistent on holding your hand while we sleep.” Dazai softened at that. “Really? Then how the heck did you survive years without me?” He felt Chuuya shrug. “Sleep-deprivation, mostly. I’d stay awake until my body collapsed from exhaustion.”

Dazai hummed quietly and remembered those first days of meeting Chuuya, how the other boy seemed like he was catching up on years of sleep. Seems like that wasn’t an exaggeration on Oda’s part. “How did you not piece it together earlier then, if I managed to make you sleep.” Dazai asked. Chuuya shrugged again. “Probably didn’t believe it. Or maybe I was blaming it on exhaustion due to my injury.” Well, Dazai guessed that made somewhat sense.

“Why are you even awake, shitty Mackerel? It’s in the middle of the night.” Chuuya asked. Dazai sighed and stared out at the city. Might as well tell him. 

“I had a dream.” He admitted. “You, me, and two scientists. I apparently clawed the cuts on my arms open. And later you treated them properly.” He explained the short version. Chuuya sucked in a sharp breath and suddenly seemed much more awake. Dazai raised an eyebrow at him. Chuuya just looked at him for a few moments, then a small grin overtook his expression. “Shitty Dazai. That did happen. It wasn’t a dream. It was how I found out, remember?” Dazai gave him a nod. “It felt too real to be a dream regardless.”

Chuuya seemed extremely happy with this turn of events. “See! Your stupid memories can come back! Maybe it really is just a matter of time.” Dazai looked into Chuuya’s eyes. They were almost glowing. The city lights looked prettier, reflected in them. Chuuya’s eyes made them pretty. “...I guess that could be it.” He responded.

Chuuya insisted on hearing the entire dream with every detail, even with the more bloody ones. And so the two of them decided a small walk at night would do them some good. After putting Dazai’s bandages back on, they changed into some comfy clothes that weren’t their pajamas before leaving the building. 

Everything was so different at night, Dazai noted. The building was empty. There was no sound aside from the mild electric buzzing of the lamps and their footsteps on the ground. And even the city itself was much quieter. 

The most sound came from colorfully lit buildings titled ‘bars’ and ‘clubs’. The two boys briefly considered walking into one despite the age requirements being 18, but they quickly shut the idea down the moment they saw multiple pairs of people making out in front of the same entrances they’d have to walk through. Dazai grimaced and exchanged a look with his partner who seemingly didn’t know how to deal with the situation either. For a few moments they simply awkwardly stood there, processing the new information on the nature of such establishments before managing to pry themselves away and walking off into a different direction, leaving the loud music and shameless people behind.

“...You’d think there’d be some form of laws about public indecency, but I guess there aren’t. Is that just- normal for people to do?” Chuuya asked with mild confusion. Dazai shrugged. “Not sure. They seemed to do that a lot in some of these drama magazines I looked at when I was younger, but I wasn’t sure if those were just exaggerating the situation or if people actually do that. Guess we have our answer here.” Small steps. They were still figuring out the world of normal people things.

“Do you think there’s an age requirement for making out?” Chuuya then blurted out. Dazai blinked, surprised, then stared at him. The redhead’s face was filled with genuine confusion. Dazai wanted to answer, but all he managed was a choked laugh that made him sound like a dying fish. Immediately, he winced and shook his head. Really, he didn’t have to give Chuuya more reasons to refer to him as ‘Mackerel’! Thankfully, Chuuya didn’t comment on it, simply continued staring at him perplexed.

“...I guess the people in those drama magazines always looked a little older than we are? I dunno- most of the described age ranges spanned from 16 to 20. But they never said anything about age requirements, I think.” Dazai thought about the whole situation, about how such a thing might feel. He really couldn’t understand what exactly was so nice about shoving your tongue into another person’s mouth. What in the world was the appeal of doing it? In any case, he really couldn’t imagine himself wanting to do such a thing.

His eyes wandered back to Chuuya who had a contemplative expression on his face. He almost looked like he was pouting, trying to understand how humans worked.

…Maybe Dazai could imagine himself doing such a thing. Maybe. With Chuuya,, at least.

Dazai. NO. Stop right there. Definitely do not think about doing this with Chuuya. You will never get that thought out of your head. Ever.

Dazai smacked his own head in hopes of putting his brain in place, shaking off the pictures that suddenly seemed to spread there. It was a horrible idea. Thinking about Chuuya and such interactions. How was he supposed to handle that and keep it to himself! Liking someone was so confusing. Wasn’t he already struggling with emotions enough as is? Gods, maybe he’d really have to take Rimbaud up on that offer of coaching him in the art of ‘handling a crush on your partner without going insane’.

“Don’t overthink it too much, Chibi, you’ll shrink further~” Ah, there it was, his voice had returned to him, finally. He jumped to avoid the immediate kick aimed at him. “I won’t shrink, you ass!” Chuuya snarled, making Dazai laugh. Chuuya glared at him, Dazai laughed harder. “I’m just saying! I don’t think it’s something we should be overly concerned about for now. Let’s first get through our mission. And maybe after that we can figure that out.”

Chuuya sighed and calmed down, returning to his side. “As much as it pains me to agree with you, you’re probably right. We can make out after we fix this mess.” Dazai hummed with agreement. Some part of his brain lit up with red lights and sirens at Chuuya’s words, screamed at him at the expectant smirk on Chuuya’s face. What was wrong now? Why was it doing that? Was there some part of Chuuya’s sentence Dazai missed? 

Oh.

Oh.

Dazai swallowed his next breath and was immediately thrown into an extreme coughing fit, wheezing and gasping for air as his face steadily morphed into a tomato. “WHAT THE HECK CHUUYA-” He choked out, then immediately started another coughing fit, only partially noticing his partner’s cackling laughter as he smacked his back to calm him down. It took the bandaged boy a while to regain an even breathing pattern as he sent Chuuya a mild glare. “You can’t just say that to people, Chuuya!” He scolded. Chuuya’s only response was a smirk as he continued walking. “Well, didn’t say a thing then. Got it.” Dazai grumbled something about annoying tiny Chibis and their even more annoying actions. Great. Now his cheeks were burning. Thank you very much.

“You’re right though. We can worry about that later. For now let’s just focus on overthrowing the government.” And with those words, Chuuya leaned up and pressed a kiss to Dazai’s cheek, effectively causing him the nth heart attack that day.

Truly, Chuuya was gonna be the death of him.

—

For a while they simply walked through the streets. At some point, like an unspoken agreement, Dazai#s right hand found Chuuya’s left as their fingers gently intertwined. Neither of them was pulling the other along. They were just holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, side to side, with nothing but the night air, the occasional car and the occasional passerby around them. It was almost 3 AM, but neither of them cared. It wasn’t like they had to attend a school or anything.

Soon enough, their feet had carried them to an empty playground. Out here, the wind tasted salty. They were close to the ocean. The two boys climbed over the fence surrounding the place with ease, deciding to find somewhere to sit for a while. They had grabbed some milkshakes and a bag of sweets from a 24/7 convenience store just a little earlier.

Their decision fell on a playhouse. One of those large ones with two stories, a small climbing wall and a slide. Chuuya was the first to go up, floating himself and their purchases up onto the roof with ease. Dazai took the slightly more annoying route of climbing since he didn’t exactly have the ability to float. Thankfully, Chuuya wasn’t as cruel as to not offer him some help, pulling him up onto the roof once he was in reach. They dropped down to sit, sipped their milkshakes and opened the bag, munching on some of the contents.

They were indeed fairly close to the ocean, water glistering just beyond some smaller buildings and shipping containers. The moonlight reflected on the surface, outlining the small waves. It was beautiful, though Dazai imagined it would look even more beautiful without the null curtain flickering in the distance. The forcefield even extended far out in the water. Dazai was still confused about the technology behind it.

“Y’know, sometimes, after we were allowed a little more freedom, our two caretakers would bring us to the beach.” Chuuya spoke quietly. Dazai looked over at his partner who had a distant expression on his face while thumbing at the seashell-pearl-bracelet. “It was a nice beach. The sand was soft and since it belonged to the facility, rarely anyone came there and there was no trash. Dr. Fukuzawa and Dr. Mori would sometimes even search for a secluded part outside of surveillance range so we could go in the water if we wanted to. Though you never did. You said that your scars hurt when you step foot into salt water. Instead, we’d sit in the sand and collect seashells or small animals. One time you even smuggled a small crab into Dr. Mori’s shoe and when he put it on, he screamed like a little baby. Afterwards, he scolded you for the entire way back but you weren’t sorry at all. You simply gave him a pretty seashell as an apology and he eventually just stopped trying and accepted it. ”

Dazai remained silent and imagined the picture. Young Chuuya and young him, sitting at a beach, messing around. Chuuya seemed fond of those memories, if his expression was anything to go by. “Dr. Fukuzawa and Dr. Mori?” Dazai asked. Chuuya looked at him and nodded. “Yea. They were the only ones who ever seemed to give a shit about us, even though they couldn’t do much. I never knew why they worked there in the first place. They never seemed to enjoy it. But they stayed regardless. I don’t know why, but I have the theory that they just didn’t want to leave us alone in there.” Dazai hummed. So Fukuzawa really was being honest about being one of his caretakers back when he took him away from the destruction and told him to leave. And apparently there was another person involved as well. Was that other person also somewhere out there? He should probably figure that out.

Dazai shook his head to clear his thoughts. Then his eyes moved down and locked onto the bracelet. Light blue seashells, shimmering pink-purple-ish pearls. “...And that?” He asked, carefully. Chuuya stopped playing around with the bracelet and held up his arm. “Yea. It’s something you made for me. It was.. A pretty horrible day for me. But after the horror was over, Dr. Fukuzawa told me he’d take me to the beach and that you have a surprise for me. When we got there, you were all shy, hiding behind Dr. Mori’s legs. He had to physically push you towards me. It was really funny, seeing you so embarrassed.” And sure, Dazai’s memory was very much incomplete, but even just hearing Chuuya say it made him blush. What the heck was wrong with him?!

“In the end, you still gave it to me. And I’ve kept it safe and treasured since. Still feels fucking horrible that I almost lost it. But I guess it brought you back to me, so I can’t say much.” He unclasped the bracelet and held it out to Dazai. “Look at the inner side of the seashells, it’ll prove that you already were a fucking sappy bastard back when we were five.” Dazai took the bracelet and turned it around. And yes, there were indeed indents of something written on them. Or, well, carved into. Possibly with a needle.

‘For my Human -A0’

Dazai blinked and stared up at Chuuya surprised. But Chuuya was looking away, a rosy blush on his cheeks. “See? Sappy bastard.” But Chuuya didn’t have to actually say it out loud for Dazai to understand that he appreciated the bracelet. And so he smiled and threw his arms around his small partner, squishing him. “Awww Chibi!~ I’m so moved you kept such an important trinket!” He exclaimed. “I will throw you off this roof within an instant.” Chuuya responded, not accomplishing much besides making Dazai laugh.

For a while they just sat there, until Dazai calmed down. Though he didn’t let go of Chuuya, keeping him firmly trapped in his arms. “...Do you think going to the ruins of the old facility might help with my memory retrieval?” He eventually asked. Chuuya slowly turned to look at him in slight disbelief. “...You wanna go back there?” He asked. Dazai shrugged. “Why not? Maybe we’ll even find some definite proof that could help us with our mission! From what I remember, not everything was completely destroyed.”

Chuuya tensed up in his arms and Dazai immediately picked up on the lingering insecurity, quickly jumping into action. “...Though you don’t have to go, of course. If it’s too much, I can go alone. I’ll be fine.” At that, he received a withering glare. “Well, I’m most definitely not letting you go there alone! I’m not scared. Plus, I told you that I’m gonna protect you and I’ll keep that promise! It’s either neither of us go, or both of us.” It was silent for a moment, then Chuuya continued. “...But what if you change your mind if you see the destruction again? What if it scares you? Arahabaki is and will always be a monster.” Dazai sighed. Looks like they really had to work on Chuuya’s self-image issues. But that was alright. He was ready for that, and for how much effort it might take.

“But you’re not a monster, Chibi~ I know your brain is tiny, but don’t be stupid now! The bracelet clearly says ‘My Human’! Not ‘My Monster’! Doesn’t that tell you enough? Plus, even if you were a monster, not like I mind. To me, you’re just my Chibi! And you will be, no matter what. Got it?” Chuuya regarded him for a long moment. Then he sighed, closed his eyes, and melted further into their embrace. “Alright. Guess I’ll believe you then. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Dazai grinned and squeezed him once. “Message received. Now, let’s plan a field trip to the old facility ruins shall we!” Chuuya shook his head amused. “You’re insane.” Dazai’s grin widened. “Why thank you, it’s my trademark!”

Chapter Text

“You want to WHAT now?!” Verlaine asked, staring at Chuuya and Dazai with wide eyes. Dazai gripped his hot chocolate more tightly. “We want to go to the old facility and check if there’s anything useful we can find.” He repeated, looking right back at the man. Verlaine sighed. Long and deep, rubbing his temple with two fingers. “Boys. That is an absolutely terrible idea. How about we just not go and re-live your childhood trauma?”

Dazai looked down at the table. “But isn’t that our goal? I want to know more about who I was. Just because of that I’ll have to confront everything sooner or later. We’ll be alright, ne, Chuuya?” Next to him, Chuuya nodded. “We’re good.” 

Verlaine looked like he was questioning every decision that brought him to this moment in time before seemingly accepting his fate. “Alright then. If that’s what you want. Though I do wonder how you intend on leaving the city unnoticed.” Chuuya took a bite off his croissant. “Probably the same way we got in: Dazai’s ability.” But before they could continue figuring out a plan, Rimbaud interrupted them.

“I wouldn’t risk that if I were you. Since the public warning, they’ve increased security. I don’t think there’s a single part of the Null Curtain not under surveillance. In fact, no one is allowed to leave the city unless they have an official work permit, not even to travel. The government put all the cities on lockdown, not just Yokohama. They’re absolutely terrified of Chuuya-kun.” 

Chuuya gripped tightly onto the table. “Can’t exactly say that it isn’t something important to up security, it is dangerous out there. But how the fuck are we supposed to get through then? I seriously doubt we’ll manage to get such a permit.” He regarded Verlaine and Rimbaud, eyes calculating. “I don’t suppose coffee shop owners slash bakers have anything to do out there?” Rimbaud shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. I’m quite sure that won’t work.”

Chuuya slumped into his seat, annoyed. Dazai watched the small redhead and then gave him some head pats which he growled at. There was an idea forming in his head, one that might actually work. He looked up and directly at Rimbaud. “What type of job would have something to do out there?” He asked. Rimbaud seemed deep in thoughts for a moment before speaking again.

“The jobs with the highest likelihood of getting a permit would probably be important government jobs or anything related to the capturing and dealing with subjects. Why?” Dazai was already holding his phone. “I’ll ask Ranpo if it’d be possible to stage a case and bring us out there. Detectives do important work, right?” Rimbaud shrugged. “It’s an idea, I suppose.”

It only took a few seconds for Ranpo to pick up. “Dazai? Everything good with you and Chuuya?” The detective asked. “We’re fine, Ranpo-san, but we do have a question.”

—

“So.” Ranpo stated.

“So?” Dazai responded.

After a short call from Dazai telling him about their idea, Ranpo had dropped what he was doing and immediately joined them at the coffee shop to listen to the details.

“You want us to stage a subject-related case for a work permit to leave Yokohama?” He asked. Dazai answered with a nod. “It would work, right?” Ranpo seemed to think about it for a moment. “It would, but it could take quite a while to set everything up. Plus: We’d have to figure out a reason for these two guys here to come along.” He said, pointing at Verlaine and Rimbaud who were very insistent on going with the two of them. Dazai suspected it was due to Verlaine’s protectiveness over Chuuya. Rimbaud probably tagged along to keep his husband in check.

“We’ll take whatever we get.” Dazai said. “And if it’ll take a while, then that’s okay too.” Ranpo smiled amused. “Y’all are really insistent?” He asked. Both Dazai and Chuuya responded with affirmative nods. Ranpo sighed. “Well, guess I’ll help.” He then agreed. Chuuya grinned and punched Dazai’s shoulder. “There we go! We’re making progress.”

“However,” Ranpo interrupted. “We’re doing it my way. Cause I’ve got an idea that is safer and faster.” And, well, the two teens wouldn’t say no to an easier option. So they took the older male up on the offer. Ranpo looked delighted as he sent a text to someone. For a few moments, nothing happened, and then his phone dinged as he got a response. “Alright great! Ed’s gonna be here in fifteen! Dazai, you might wanna mentally prepare yourself for being separated from Chuuya for just a moment!”

Dazai stared at him, confused. “Separated? Why’s that? …WaiT? What do you mean, mentally prepare myself? I’ll be fine! We’re not glued together!” One look over at his partner allowed him to see that Chuuya had a similar offended expression on his face, arms crossed. Ranpo snickered. “You would’ve sounded a lot more believable if you hadn’t automatically leaned closer to each other the moment I said the word ‘separated’.” He teased. Dazai snapped around to check how much space was left between him and Chuuya. And, true to Ranpo’s words, he was basically sitting on the smaller’s lap. In his mind, he was already loudly cursing himself out for allowing such a thing.

“...Moving on. Why would we need to be separated?” Dazai simply prayed Chuuya wouldn’t read into his avoidance. Ranpo smiled. “Because you’re the only one here who Ed can’t transport in secret. Your ability is a little inconvenient for that. Because of that, we’ll have to get you a fake ID as his assistant so they’ll let both of you leave. He’ll get you a permit and then we’ll go. That good?”

Dazai found himself mildly confused for a moment. “...So Poe-san can leave the city? Just like that?” Chuuya asked from his side. Ranpo nodded eagerly. “It’s his job! I’m sure he’ll explain it to you, Dazai! Kinda has to if you’re taking on the role of his assistant. You’ve got this!”

A job that would allow him to leave. Huh. Dazai guessed that made plenty of sense. The guy had to have an important position. He had to get his money from somewhere, after all. “His ability will be great to get us out there. No one will notice a thing. Trust me with that.” Well, Ranpo sounded certain, at least, so this would be worth it. Hopefully. Dazai glanced at Chuuya who shrugged. “As long as it works out, we’ll be fine.”

Ranpo soon ordered a hot chocolate, remaining at the table with the two teenagers while Verlaine and Rimbaud went on with their job. The detective spent a long time regarding them with a calculating, curious expression. Dazai shifted uncomfortably in his seat, tugging on his bandages. “...Something wrong?” He asked. Ranpo smiled. “Chuuya told you, didn’t he?” He asked. And Dazai didn’t need his genius brain to know what he was referring to.

“I’m A0. And we lived together as children in the facility.” He responded. Ranpo smiled, then leaned across the table to pat Chuuya's head who hissed at him, making him laugh. “Good job. Honesty and trust are foundations of all relationships.” Then he turned to Dazai. “I assume that's part of the reason why you want to go back? To see if you can find out more about who you are?” He asked. Dazai shrugged. “It's worth a try. I can't work out a plan without knowing what it was they did to us and how to expose it.”

Ranpo sighed and looked at him, almost a little pitying. “You really do wanna jump right back into your terrible childhood do you? It's not gonna be pretty, that much I can tell you. Right, Chuuya?” Chuuya remained silent and looked away. Dazai leaned back in his seat. “No matter how not pretty it is, I gotta go regardless. I’m not gonna sit around idly and do nothing when there’s so much I don’t know about yet. Ranpo shrugged. “Alright then.” He responded, continuing to sip his drink. Their table fell into a comfortable silence as they all collectively waited and watched the coffee shop owners do their job.

—

“Here I am!” Poe announced his presence the moment he stepped in and walked over to their table, Karl on his shoulder, as always. “Ranpo-kun told me our two newest friends require assistance with an insane plan?” He asked. Ranpo grinned and made some space for the other male next to him. “Sure they do! We need one of your books and also an exit permit for Dazai here!” Poe stared at him like he’d grown another head. “...What now?”

“We need you to transport me, Chuuya and these two-” He pointed at Verlaine and Rimbaud. “-in a book to the outside. Unfortunately, Dazai’s gonna need a permit as his ability kind of prevents the whole book thing from happening. Y’know, nullification and all. So: Can you pretend he’s your new assistant and get your rich boss to give him a permit? Pleaseeee?” The detective asked, voice complemented by his big puppy eyes. Damn. Ranpo really had a complete grip on this guy, didn’t he?

Poe seemed to try and fight it for a brief moment, but Ranpo’s look only intensified in response and with a long, drawn-out sigh, he ultimately folded. “Alright alright, I’ll do it. Curse you and your expressions.” He mumbled quietly. Ranpo grinned and showed the two 15-year-olds a thumbs up. “See! It can be that easy!” He cheered and hugged his friend(?) who visibly blushed in return and tried to turn away to hide his face.

“Excuse me for a second, I’ll call my boss and let him know about the situation.” Poe then said and pulled out his phone, stepping outside of the coffee shop. Dazai watched him through the window. So they were really doing this, weren’t they? Someone nudged his side and he turned to look at Chuuya who smiled at him. “Don’t tell me you’re scared now, Mackerel~” He teased. Dazai scoffed, offended. “Of course not! I’m just thinking about what to expect!” Chuuya chuckled. “Well, I can certainly tell you it’s gonna be extremely fucked up.” Dazai couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from digging up information about human experimentation.”

Poe returned about five minutes later, placing his phone back in his pocket. “Alright, Mr. Fitzgerald agreed to see us. He actually has some available free time right now so it would be quite ideal if we could get this over with. He usually has a lot of work to do so I’m unsure when he’d next be available.” Dazai exchanged a look with Chuuya, silent conversation playing out between them, then he got up and left the booth he was sitting in. “Well then, what’re we waiting for?” He spoke while trotting towards the exit. “I’ll see you all later, Ranpo-san, Chibi!” Ranpo waved happily and Chuuya crossed his arms. “Don’t do something stupid while I’m not around, Mackerel! I’ll wait here in the meantime.”

Dazai followed Poe out of the shop and they started walking down a street. A sudden weight appeared on Dazai’s shoulder which he identified as Karl. Dazai sent him a mild glare. “Still haven’t forgiven you for stealing my knife that one time you hear me?” Though the raccoon didn’t exactly seem to care, making himself comfortable. Dazai sighed and turned towards the other male. “So? Where are we going?”

While apart from Ranpo, Poe was clearly more shy. To be fair, not really knowing Dazai was probably a contributor to the situation, but Dazai still had to listen up to properly understand his quiet voice. “We’re going to my boss’s office. It’s about a 20 minute walk from here. Hope you don’t mind.” Dazai shook his head. He was most definitely used to lots and lots of walking. “And your boss is?” He asked instead.

“He’s American for one. The organization I work for - The Guild - is actually based in the US. But he often flies around between there and Japan to check whether the situation is still under control. When he’s not here, I’m pretty much the highest authority figure around.” And- wow. Dazai wasn’t sure what he expected, but this wasn’t it. Though there were quite a few questions he could ask.

“...So the US. What’re you doing here then, across the ocean and all?” Poe regarded him for a while, then looked ahead as he absent-mindedly petted Karl. “This Subject Outbreak, as it’s called, only really affected Japan. The subjects mostly want revenge on the country that damned them to an existence as lab projects. Still, the US is only one flight away, and the government was concerned some subjects might extend their revenge towards other countries. The Japanese authorities reacted quickly when it happened, closing off all airports and such, keeping the subjects away from any possibility to leave Japan. Mr. Fitzgerald took it upon him to help with the containment and protect his own country from potential danger. I was one of the people he eventually sent here, considering my ability is useful for trapping people.”

Logically, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that not the entire world was affected by this outbreak. Still, it only now dawned on Dazai that he never really thought too much about anything outside of Japan, far too preoccupied with their country’s issues. He really ought to gather more information about the situation as a whole, including the rest of the world. There were so many continents and countries out there he never even properly thought of. Well. Maybe, after all this was over, he could travel around with Chuuya? That sounded like something that could be fun. Hopefully, the small redhead would like to join him.

…There his brain went: already including Chuuya in his future plans.

“A trapping ability? I believe Ranpo-san mentioned books?”  He then asked. To be honest, he was generally quite curious. Not only about the ability in general, but also about the circumstances subjects - or, well, ability users - outside of Japan lived under. Poe pulled out a book from god-knows-where, tossing it to Dazai who scrambled to catch it. Both title and cover looked like those mystery novels he liked to read.

“Basically: It works like this. I can suck any person into my mystery novels as long as they’re looking at the text. They can’t get out unless they solve the mystery. Sometimes I also write murder mysteries and people trapped in there could theoretically die. But I can write safe novels for transportation reasons as well, which is what we’ll be doing to get everyone except you through the Null Curtain. Usually, I use my ability to capture and transport subjects that cause problems. I can contain them and send them wherever I want, such as holding cells. That’s pretty much my whole job here.”

And well, that was quite impressive, to say the least. Dazai understood why Poe was chosen as one of the people responsible for keeping subjects from leaving Japan. “Anyway. Since you have an ability that nullifies others, I won’t be able to transport you in the book. Therefore you’re gonna need a permit. So from now on, you’ll take up a role as my assistant. Can you manage that?” Dazai responded with an immediate nod. For a few moments, it was silent. Then:

“Oh and- Mr. Fitzgerald’s office is in our holding facility. So you might see or hear things about subjects that aren’t that nice to witness. Just- keep your cool. Oh, and, try not to mention anything about your ability. If anyone finds out, they’ll want to do a thorough background check which probably won’t end well. Especially with your overall situation and affiliation to Chuuya-kun, considering who he is.” That made lots of sense, actually. Oh well, Dazai was good at pretending not to have an ability.

The rest of the walk was spent talking about their cover story, until they arrived at a huge modern-looking building that looked like some form of crossover between an office and a prison. ‘The Guild HQ’ was spelled out in big, bold letters above the entryway. Dazai pulled his jacket closer around his body, ensured his neck bandages were still perfectly in place to hide the huge scar, then tried to look as inconspicuous as he possibly could.

“Sir Poe.” The guards at the entrance greeted the man. Poe responded with a wave. The men gave Dazai a critical once-over. “And who may this young man be?” One of them asked. Poe placed a hand on Dazai’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “He’s my new assistant, Dazai-kun. We’re here to talk to Mr. Fitzgerald about a new case that’s coming up.” Dazai offered them one of his best friendly smiles. Thankfully, the guards didn’t seem overly suspicious of him, only wishing them good luck on the mission. And then they were in.

The building looked just as expensive on the inside as it did on the outside. Whatever this organization did, they must have lots of money to spend. Dazai stuck close to Poe as they walked through the lobby, mostly ignoring the people around them and keeping his head down, just in case. The only times where he managed to relax was the lone elevator ride to the top floor. But that relaxation was quickly no more the moment they stepped out and were faced with a hallway that gave Dazai an incredibly eerie sense of déjà vu. He didn’t like the feeling. Not at all.

The hallway was long, the walls white and lacking any detail. There were doors left and right, though they were just as white and detail-less, with exception of having small windows at the top, numbers carved beneath it, and a LED light at the side, either red or green. Dazai had a theory about what might be behind those doors. Doors that glowed with a similar, icy blue, just like the Null Curtain. Carefully, he walked up to one of the doors, looking through the window inside.

Someone was sitting on the floor in the pretty empty room. It had a bed, a table, a chair, a toilet and a sink. The person was wearing a completely white outfit, a bit like a prison uniform, and they were curled up into a ball, backed up near the wall furthest from the door. They weren’t moving, not at all. An uncomfortable feeling crawled up in his stomach. A flash of something.

A child. Brown hair. Curled up into a ball in a room that looked quite similar to this one.

The thought passed before he could focus on it properly and he backed off.

“...I assume these are the subject holding cells?” He asked Poe upon returning to him. Poe only responded with a nod. “Yes. That they are. The ones up here are mostly kept for observation and testing. The government wants to see whether they can be utilized for certain jobs, whether they can roam free, or whether they have to be brought to the new lab. The rooms are reinforced with the same type of force field as the Null Curtain. Makes containment much easier.” This Null Curtain was another thing Dazai had yet to figure out. How it operated was a mystery. But right now, they had more pressing concerns.

Soon, they arrived at the end of the hallway, in front of a large wooden door decorated with a golden nameplate that spelled out ‘Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald’. Dazai felt Karl nuzzle his cheek in what he assumed was meant as a gesture of encouragement. The raccoon still remained on his shoulders, like he’d taken it upon himself to protect him. He had no idea where Poe found this little guy, but he seemed fun enough.

Poe knocked on the door and straightened up. Dazai corrected his own posture, waiting for any response. The lock clicked, then a male voice responded with a muffled “Come in!” Poe opened the door and Dazai slipped into the room after him, keeping himself slightly in the background, allowing the former to take over most of the conversation.

The office in itself looked extremely expensive, complete with a fireplace decorated with the United States flag above it, a table with several couches around, two doors leading to adjacent rooms, tall, green plants in every corner, bookshelves lining the wall, and a big desk in the middle of the room. Behind the desk sat a tall man with blond hair, wearing an extremely expensive-looking suit. He most definitely looked the part of a rich guy in a high position. He offered the three newcomers a smile, resting his chin on his hands as he leaned over the table. “Mr. Poe! Nice to see you here. I must say, you quite surprised me with that sudden call of yours. How are things with the job?”

Poe bowed his head, hands clutching onto his coat. “Everything has been going well so far. There were no major incidents within the past week. However, there is a new and potentially quite dangerous situation coming up which is why we’re here today. This young man next to me is a new assistant I’ve taken in. The one I told you about on the phone.”

Fitzgerald regarded Dazai with a long, thoughtful look, then waved his hand to beckon him closer. The bandaged boy did as he was told. “Mr. Osamu Dazai, was it?” The older man asked. “That’s me.” Dazai confirmed without hesitation. Fitzgerald smiled. “I did not expect Mr. Poe to hire an assistant out of his own free will. Care to tell me some little facts about yourself? Doesn’t need to be anything super personal. I’m just a little curious.” Dazai took a deep breath, effortlessly slipping on the mask he decided on, then started speaking.

“I’m Osamu Dazai, as you already know. I’m 15 years old. My parents were killed by subjects eight years ago and I’ve been trying my best to find a way to prevent such a thing from happening to anyone else. I was taken in by a detective agency and met Poe-san over one of their detectives. When he told me about his line of work, I asked him whether I could help him with it some time and he said yes. I’m smart and I can fight, so I’ll do my best to be of use. Poe-san was given some hints about a new threat on the outside, and I’d like to come along to help him take care of it. Unfortunately, I do not have a leave permit yet since the agency doesn’t often operate on the outside. Therefore we came here to ask you for one.”

Fitzgerald hummed and looked over at Poe. “And you’re sure this kid will be alright?” He asked. Poe responded with an immediate nod. “He shouldn’t be underestimated because of his age. He’s a special one, unlike any other person his age I’ve met thus far. I’m personally taking responsibility for everything that might happen.” He confirmed. Fitzgerald’s smile widened. “Well then, I see no further issues. So- about that salary…” Poe waved around his hands. “Oh, you needn’t worry about that. As my assistant, I’ll personally be paying him. Is that alright?” Fitzgerald seemed to think it over for some time, then he shrugged. “Alright, if that’s what you wish. But do make sure he’s properly compensated for the risks he’ll be taking! Dealing with subjects, especially dangerous ones, can lead to quite a lot of pain if not handled carefully.” He warned. “I’ll make sure he does get what he deserves, Mr. Fitzgerald.”

The blond shuffled through some of his drawers, until he eventually managed to pull out a form, grabbing a pen. “Repeat your personal information, please?” Dazai repeated his name, age, and birthdate, watching as the other man filled out the respective fields and finished off by putting down his signature, pushing the paper across the desk and handing Dazai the pen, pointing at an empty field. “Just put your own signature down here and we’ll be done.”

Dazai read through the document. There wasn’t too much to it, only allowing the owner of the permit to leave and enter any of the cities protected by the safe force fields. Dazai signed the document, then handed it back to Fitzgerald who smiled. “Wonderful! I’ll have your permit card made and ready by tomorrow so you can come pick it up at any point in the day. I assume one more day of waiting will be alright? I can give you an emergency permit if necessary, but-” Dazai shook his head and exchanged glances with Poe. “We’ll be fine, waiting another day.” The older of the two said. Fitzgerald reached a hand across the table for Dazai to shake. “Then, I’m looking forward to working with you.”

—

They didn’t stay for long after that, bidding Fitzgerald goodbye and leaving the building, on their way back to where their friends were waiting. “That went… Surprisingly well.” Dazai noted. “I can imagine Mr. Fitzgerald might be quite glad that I decided to work with an assistant. He’s always been… A little concerned about the fact I work almost exclusively alone. Now we just have to wait and then we can go on with Ranpo-kun’s plan. I suggest getting some rest before we go. We can’t exactly be sure how dangerous it’s gonna be and what we’ll have to deal with.” Dazai hummed in agreement. “I figured.”

They walked back silently, soon returning to the coffee shop. Karl nudged Dazai’s cheek one more time, then jumped back to his owner who immediately caught him, squeezing him like a plushie. Rimbaud waved at them upon entering, Verlaine was nowhere to be seen (Probably in the kitchen) and both Chuuya’s and Ranpo’s heads snapped up to greet them. “Chibi!~” Dazai cheered, skipping over to his partner and squishing him in a side-hug.

“Hey there dumbass.” Chuuya responded, ruffling Dazai’s hair with one hand as the other tried to push him away (For obvious reasons, that did not work out super well). “How’d it go?” Ranpo asked. Dazai gave him a thumbs-up. “We got a permit and can go and collect it tomorrow. Now we wait! Anything interesting you guys talked about in the meantime?”

Strangely enough, Chuuya froze up and blushed. Meanwhile Ranpo grinned in that very specific mischievous way of his. “Oh, not much~ I only asked Chuuya to tell me some stories about your lives as children! He’s certainly got some interesting ones to tell…” Chuuya sent Ranpo a deadly glare. “I swear to every power above if you tell him–”, “Like how when you gave him that bracelet, he loudly proclaimed in front of your caretakers, that he’s gonna marry you one day!” Ranpo didn’t seem to care about Chuuya’s warning. Not at all. Chuuya looked like he was about to strangle him.

“Oh?~” Dazai teased and closed in on Chuuya. “I had no idea you were harboring such feelings for me Chibi~” The latter went even more red and placed his hand square on the former’s face, pushing him off, causing Dazai to descend into laughter. “Fuck off!” Chuuya whined. “We were kids okay?! Kids do that stuff sometimes! Dazai calmed his laughter, then smirked against his partner’s hand and stuck out his tongue to lick it. Chuuya proceeded to screech out profanities, wiping his hand on Dazai’s jacket, sending him into another round of laughter. Dazai grinned and allowed his body to fold over, resting his head on Chuuya’s shoulder and nuzzling into it. Chuuya seemed to contemplate pushing him off again for a moment, before ultimately deciding against it and simply allowing the closeness.

“Well you guys are getting along great at least~” Ranpo said with a smile. “We don’t.” Both Chuuya and Dazai answered at the exact same time, not moving away from each other. Ranpo didn’t mess with them further, only offering a knowing smile. “I’d say we go tomorrow afternoon, then. After Dazai picks up his permit. You got a book ready for us, Ed?” Their friend immediately nodded. “You know I always keep some transport novels on me, so that shouldn’t be an issue.” So that was settled, at least. Ranpo turned to look at Dazai again.

“You gonna go get the permit on your own or do you want Ed to come with you?” Dazai shook his head. “I’ll be fine on my own this time.” Ranpo grinned. “Alright great!” Then he waved over the two husbands. Thankfully, the shop had gotten a little emptier since earlier. Rimbaud called into the kitchen and soon enough, both of them joined them at their table. 

“So, what’s our plan then?” Verlaine inquired. “Are you good if we go tomorrow afternoon? You think you can make that?” Ranpo asked. Rimbaud checked something on his phone, then nodded. “Nothing special is happening in the next five days. I’m sure we can leave the coffee shop in the care of some other organization members for a bit.” Next to Dazai, Chuuya raised a confused eyebrow. “Other organization members?” Verlaine smiled. “See, the coffee shop isn’t the only place we work at. We’re also part of a certain organization, though I’m not quite sure we should explain the details here where lots of people could listen in. So just take my word for it, alright?” And well, not like they had much of a choice.

“Awesome! So how about Dazai texts all of us once he’s got the permit and we all meet up at the agency to prepare? Sounds good?” Ranpo suggested. Everyone agreed. “Then I suggest all of us get some rest! We can’t know for sure what to expect after all!” He continued. More agreement, and soon enough they parted, promising to keep everyone’s phones on standby and taking care of the rest tomorrow. Dazai caught Ranpo suggesting Poe a sleepover as they left the shop and soon enough, it was once again just Chuuya and him, out on the street, on their way back home.

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” Chuuya contemplated. Dazai allowed his eyes to drift across their surroundings, watching everything absent-mindedly while his brain was preoccupied with what could potentially happen the following day. “Yes we are. I hope we made the right call.” It was silent for a moment, then Dazai felt Chuuya’s familiar warmth brush against his side, the two of them walking so close together, there was barely any space between their bodies. “Don’t overthink too much, dumbass. I’m sure it’ll be a good place to start.” Dazai, as so often with Chuuya, had a feeling he could most definitely believe him.

—

It was later in the evening. The two boys were huddled together on one of the pool chairs on their terrace, enjoying some self-made milkshakes Chuuya prepared, watching the sunset. There were more than enough chairs for the both of them, but for some reason they naturally gravitated towards sharing the same one, despite it being slightly crammed. It was peaceful. The clear weather, the comfortable evening temperature, and the muted city noises from far below them.

“Did you see much of the facility when you woke up back then? ‘Cause I barely remember anything besides the overall destruction and the dead bodies around.” Dazai inquired. Chuuya was silent for a moment, then shook his head. “When I woke up, I was far too busy trying to cope with the fact I may have just killed my stupid, reckless best friend who, despite earlier memory loss, fought through all the guards and scientists to get to me in time to save me. You’re pretty damn impressive, y’know? I know you don’t remember it, but I still appreciate it.”

Dazai searched his brain for any indication as to what happened, though once again, he came up empty. “So despite my memory loss, I apparently still tried to save you?” Chuuya answered with a solemn nod. “I don’t know if it was your protective instincts kicking in despite everything, but somehow you knew exactly where you had to go and what to do. Though I didn’t get to talk to you. You got pretty banged up in the process of getting to me and basically passed out the moment you nullified Arahabaki. I couldn’t do much. Not that I stayed awake for much longer either. Arahabaki completely drains my energy which always results in me passing out once it’s over.  When I fell unconscious, the only thought on my mind was your potential death I was responsible for. And when I woke up, you were nowhere to be found. The only thing remaining were the blood stains on the ground. And considering there were lots of bloodstains in places where actual dead bodies used to be, it was a logical conclusion that that was what might’ve happened.”

For some reason, Dazai felt guilty. Had he really made Chuuya so worried? “...I know what you’re thinking, Mackerel. But don’t you dare fucking blame yourself. If anything, it’s my burden to bear. I’ve lived with the guilt ever since I woke up and I’m sure as heck not gonna hold you accountable for something that was my fault in the first place. I mean- I was so deep in grief and anger that I didn’t even think about searching for you.” And now, Chuuya looked close to tears. Dazai pouted. That certainly wouldn’t do.

“Look, Chuu, I have yet to figure out what exactly happened. But there’s one thing I’m sure of: It’s not your fault alone. We can feel guilty together alright? And if anything, it’s the fault of those people who put us in the situation in the first place! That being: The scientists. So don’t act as if you caused all of this, and please don’t blame yourself for my ‘death’ either, alright? I’m here now, aren’t I? And as far as I’m concerned, I’m pretty alive overall.”

Chuuya regarded him quietly, then sighed. “I guess? Still feels pretty horrible though.” Dazai started to feel even more determined to get his memories back, so he could figure out every detail about the situation and make sure his partner would get the information into his head. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do too much now. So instead, he carefully put aside both their drinks and pulled Chuuya into his arms in a tight hug. Chuuya’s fists closed around his shirt, face buried in his chest. “...You have a heartbeat.” The small redhead mumbled. Dazai chuckled quietly, gently took off the hat, then started running his hand through the other’s hair. “Yes I do. It’s still beating, I’m still here.” And for now, that seemed like it was enough.

They spent a while in their cuddling position, until Chuuya’s phone vibrated on the table next to them. Chuuya looked up, blinking in confusion. Dazai caught Ranpo’s name on the display. Strange. Did something happen?

Dazai took it upon himself to pick up the phone. “Ranpo-san?” He asked, putting the call on speaker. “Dazai? Where’s Chuuya?” The detective asked, confused. “He’s here with me, you’re on speaker.” Dazai responded. Chuuya added a “Hello?” to show his presence. “Alright, good good. We just received some information regarding our mission from the president.” The president? Fukuzawa. Dazai felt concern well up inside of him. “Is everything alright? Do we have to reschedule something?” He asked. “No, don’t worry. He simply consoled a friend of his regarding anything important we should probably know and he told me something quite interesting and a little worrying.” Now, Chuuya seemed to be fully present in the conversation and listening as well. “What’s up?” He asked. Ranpo continued. “You remember The Sheep? The organization that outed Chuuya as Arahabaki in public?”

Dazai tensed up. Of course he knew. The Sheep, aka: the same exact organization that had used, betrayed and hurt Chuuya, despite his efforts to keep them safe. Dazai still wanted to hold them accountable. Chuuya also seemed a little tense and restless. “...What about them?” He asked, voice tinged with mild discomfort. The other side of the line was quiet for a while. Then:

“It won’t exactly hinder us, but we figured you should know. We gotta be careful with every step we take with this. Because apparently they were dispatched to where the old facility used to be, the same one we’re going to. It’s part of the government’s search for Chuuya.”

Chapter Text

Calming Chuuya down took a good while, but somehow, Dazai managed. Their position had changed a little. Now Dazai was laying in the chair while his smaller partner was curled up on top of him, hiding from the world. Dazai stared up at the steadily darkening sky, running their situation through his head again.

Ranpo had told them the entire group that was The Sheep would be present at the facility ruins, most likely under supervision from government-issued guards and high-ranking figures in the whole subject situation. They’d have to be careful, especially with Chuuya, considering this group knew exactly what he looked like. Ranpo made a brief suggestion about Chuuya staying in the city, but the teen immediately refused such a suggestion, claiming he was not gonna let Dazai run into the place on his own.

“Dazai?” Chuuya asked. Dazai hummed quietly. “I don’t want them to get hurt. They’re just kids. They’re already in enough danger by merely existing in this world. We can’t attack them.” He insisted. And yes, that was another issue. Personally, Dazai would feel no remorse hurting those who hurt someone he cared about, no matter their age. But Chuuya still cared about The Sheep a great deal, making the situation even more difficult. Hurting them would make Chuuya sad. And Dazai didn’t want Chuuya to be sad. Especially not because of him.

“I can figure it out, Chibi, no worries. If you don’t want me to do something to them, I won’t. …Though you might wanna bring that matter up with Verlaine-san~ I think he might be a bigger issue.” Chuuya sighed. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, then. But what’re we gonna do if we do run into them?” Dazai smiled and patted the other boy’s head softly. “Talk to them is what I’ll do! I’m good with words. Who knows, maybe I’ll change their mind about you!” Chuuya eyed him suspiciously. “...You’re not gonna tell them where I am, right?” He asked. Dazai quickly shook his head. “I won’t~ Of course I won’t! I’m not letting them anywhere near you, they stabbed you and you nearly died!”

It was quite a weird feeling. It hadn’t even been that long since it happened, but somehow it felt like a lifetime went by in a blink. Maybe that was because of how much happened so quickly.

“They did… But-” Chuuya tilted his head up to look Dazai right in the eyes. “That injury led me to you. So maybe I should issue a thank you to them.” Dazai made a face. “But was it really necessary for you to almost bleed out so we could meet again?!” Chuuya leaned up and placed a delicate kiss on Dazai’s nose, and all thoughts escaped him in an instant, being replaced by nothing aside from his suddenly very rapid heartbeat and a growing blush. Dazai snapped his head around to look away, making Chuuya snicker. The brunette hated that he loved how it felt. His partner’s chin dug into his chest and he felt his blue eyes stare holes into his face. This crush thing was gonna be the end of him one day.

“Anyway, regardless of whether I’ll run into The Sheep or not, we’ll be alright. Let’s just focus on getting there first. Everything else comes later.” Chuuya sighed and closed his eyes. “You better figure out a fucking plan, Mackerel. I’m counting on you.” 

After that, it didn’t take long for them to retreat to their bedroom, off to get some sleep.

—

The following morning, Dazai went to get his permit card on his own. This time, no one questioned his presence and the guards at the entrance actually greeted him. From then, it didn’t take long to get to Fitzgerald’s office and acquire the plastic card. He refrained from looking too closely at the holding cells, this was a matter for later.

After receiving his permit, he made his way through the city, off to meet up with the others at the ADA office. Ranpo had told them about gathering some items they might need. They’d also have to suck everyone into a book for transport. Poe already confirmed he would be driving them.

“I’m here with the permit!” Dazai announced his presence upon pushing open the office door. Multiple pairs of eyes turned to him, including both agency members and non-agency members. “Dazai-san!” Kenji greeted him with a bright smile. “I heard you’ll be going on an adventure? Good luck! Here, take this, I made everyone some lucky charms!” The kid, energetic as ever, offered Dazai a small glass vial with a flower inside. Dazai took it with a smile. The flower was blue and reminded him of Chuuya’s eyes which he quite enjoyed.

“Thanks, Kenji-kun~” The kid grinned and Dazai joined his group on the other side of the room. Ranpo was sitting on the table, the space next to him covered with weapons amongst other things, as well as a closed book. Must be their transport novel.

“Dazai! You finally made it!” Ranpo cheered and jumped off the table. “You got the permit? Lemme see!” Dazai pulled out the card and showed it to the detective who gasped. “Ed, come over here, your boss gave him an independence permit!” Frankly, Dazai had no idea what that meant, but considering everyone in the room (besides Chuuya and Dazai himself) seemed caught off-guard, it must mean something. Everyone soon crowded around him, including the agency members themselves.

“What do you mean he just gave Dazai here an independence permit?” Yosano asked, baffled. Dazai exchanged a confused look with Chuuya, though the redhead seemed to know just about as little as he did.

“An independence permit? Just like that?” Kunikida asked, pushing up his glasses and stepping closer to inspect the card. “Aren’t those usually just given out to high-ranking government officials and emergency subject capture units?” Dazai still didn’t understand. Thankfully, Chuuya didn’t either. And he was rather vocal about figuring things out. “Could anybody tell us what the fuck is going on here?”

Ranpo took the card and pointed out a stamp on the bottom. “See this thing? This basically means that Dazai here is allowed to leave and enter any one of the cities at any time without needing a reason and without supervision. Ed, didn’t you apply for an assistant permit? I thought those were easier to get?” Poe shrugged, confused, inspecting the card as well. “Maybe he saw something special in Dazai-kun and spontaneously decided to upgrade him?” And well, now Dazai was worried Fitzgerald might know more than he should. Then again, even if he did, he still gave Dazai the permit, no uncomfortable questions asked. It was a strange convenience, to say the least. Too convenient? Maybe. But even so, for now, he’d work with what he was given. He got the permit and he would damn well use it whenever it was needed.

“Dwelling on it too much may easily lead to further confusion so I suggest you take it easy with the overthinking.” Fukuzawa commented. And once again, Dazai had a feeling other people knew far more about the whole situation than he himself did. Though at this point, said feeling no longer came as a surprise. And so he merely reached out to hold onto Chuuya’s jacket. A familiar motion he connected to a feeling of safety in confusing situations.

“Well then. I’ll think about this later. For now: What types of equipment do we have?” He said. Kunikida scrambled to stand by the table, seemingly already with a full list of evéry detail about every item on the table in his mind. “Right, so-” And then he went off to explain these exact details to everyone present here.

The blond teen’s whole speech could be easily summed up as a short instruction manual on how to use communicators, GPS transmitters, various guns and all the other items, though Dazai had already caught on to the fact that Kunikida quite enjoyed excessively explaining every detail, no matter how miniscule it was. As stiff as the guy seemed, he did have quite an excessive amount of knowledge about these things. Despite that, Dazai could barely listen to his monologue without spacing out. Especially when it came to the details with the guns. And honestly, staring at Chuuya doing nothing but existing was much more entertaining.

Dazai wondered if Chuuya had wielded a gun before. To be fair, it was quite possible that he might not even need it. He did have an ability that could easily be used as a good enough weapon, as opposed to Dazai who couldn't exactly rely on his ability for combat. Yes, nullification helped in disarming subjects. But the rest of the fight still had to be fought with weapons. Personally, Dazai had his fair share of experience with guns. It was another skill Oda had taught him over the years they spent together. In fact, the older man was absolutely amazing at shooting. Dazai figured it might be related to whatever job he worked as before he ran from his old life, picked him up from the facility, and brought him to a safe space far away from everywhere.

Thinking of Oda made him feel somewhat sad. He still didn’t know where his friend was right at this moment, where his children were. Were they alright? Were they safe? It felt like an eternity had passed since the day that ripped them apart. And while Dazai was doing alright, considering everything, he still missed their little group. And despite all of Chuuya’s attempts at proving that it wasn’t his fault, he still felt guilty for allowing all of this to happen in the first place.

Dazai no longer knew whether he preferred if he had remained oblivious to the actual nature of their world, or whether he preferred this: Figuring out his past and who he was. Hopefully they could find Oda and the kids soon.

“..zai- Dazai! Dazai you bandaged idiot, are you even listening?!” Oh. Maybe he had gotten a little too distracted. Dazai shook his head and looked up. “Zoned out.” He commented. Kunikida groaned in annoyance. Meanwhile Chuuya intertwined his and Dazai’s hands and squeezed, reassuringly, despite following up with a snarky comment regardless. “He does that sometimes when his brain momentarily ceases working. Don’t take it to heart.” Kunikida sighed and rubbed his temple. “Don’t tell me I have to explain everything again ‘cause this guy didn’t listen.” Dazai quickly shook his head. “I’m alright. I know how to use a gun, and none of the other things is that difficult to figure out.”

Verlaine raised a confused eyebrow. “The kid knows how to use a gun? I thought he was more adept with knives, ‘specially scalpels–” Rimbaud quickly cut him off, shoving a hand over his mouth, quickly leaning over to whisper something in his ear that Dazai couldn’t hear. Though whatever it was that was being said, it seemingly got through to Verlaine as he visibly realized something that made him pull a strange face. Dazai tilted his head, though he didn’t receive any answers. Strange.

Soon enough, the topic was dropped, with even Kunikida accepting that they would be fine despite Dazai’s zoning out. They really had to leave, as they still had to drive the whole way out of the city and to the destroyed facility. So once everyone was equipped with their share of useful things, Poe grabbed the book that remained on the table and held it out for everyone to see.

“Here is our transport novel. Ranpo-kun, Chuuya-kun, Verlaine-san and Rimbaud-san will remain in there until we arrive at our destination. The guards won’t suspect a thing, as I always take books with me when I leave the city for a capture mission. Dazai-kun will stay in the car with me. If any of you people in the book have questions, please refer to Ranpo-kun as he has the most experience with my ability. It’s a safe novel so you won’t be in danger. Still: Do keep your eyes open. Are there any more questions?” No one did, and so it was settled. Poe continued. “In that case, prepare yourself for a trip to my mystery novel. Once all of you are ready, I’ll open it and pull you in.”

Chuuya turned over to Dazai and reached up to squish his cheeks. “Don’t you dare do anything stupid while I’m in there alright?” He threatened. Dazai smirked in response. “Oh?~ Does that mean Chibi cares about me?” He teased. The light pink blush on Chuuya’s cheeks was absolutely worth it. Chuuya scoffed. “Oh fuck off. Of course I am! For all I know, leaving you alone for only a little bit could lead to a disaster!” Dazai pouted at that and crossed his arms. “Chibi is mean! For all I care, Chibi can stay in that stupid book forever!” Chuuya sighed, amused. “You don’t mean that. You’re the clingiest Mackerel I know. You’d miss me too much.” And well, Dazai couldn’t exactly deny such an accurate accusation, no matter how much it pained him to admit it.

“Hey lovebirds. Care to get your dramatic goodbye over soon? We gotta leave! It’ll only be a few hours of separation, it can’t be that bad!” Ranpo chimed in from the back. Dazai felt his face go entirely red against his will. Thankfully, Chuuya didn’t look much better. The small redhead turned around and sent a death glare at Ranpo. “Call us ‘lovebirds’ again and I’ll murder you.” He threatened, embarrassed. But the only thing he achieved was making Ranpo laugh even more which in turn caused Chuuya to blush even more and Dazai to join in on his laughter which earned him a Chuuya-death-glare as well. “Don’t side with him, asshole!”

It took a moment for Dazai to calm down, forcing Chuuya to wait. But finally, the laughter died down and Dazai schooled his expression into something a little more serious. “You take care in there as well, Chuuya. I’d hate to have to do this thing alone from now on.” His partner’s previously annoyed expression softened. “I will. Don’t worry about me, focus on getting out of the city safely first. We’ll be back soon enough.” And then, right there in front of all their friends and allies, Chuuya left a kiss on Dazai’s forehead before stepping back, leaving the bandaged teen a flustered mess once again. Chuuya’s surprise kisses always had the same stupid effect on him. He wondered if it would ever stop.

…He wasn’t even sure if he wanted it to stop.

But alas, it was time for the group to get in the book. And maybe that was a good thing, considering Verlaine looked just about ready to stab him right at this moment. Poe handed them the object and they grouped around it, opening it. And then, just like that, in a flash of yellow light, they all were easily sucked into the world of the novel, leaving the others behind.

Only after the book was dropped to the ground and Karl had jumped off to grab ít, did Dazai manage to move again, meeting a few teasing stares. “So… Are you two–” Yosano started. Dazai’s blush resurfaced. “Shuddup.” He grumbled. The doctor smirked. “Didn’t hear a no in there~” Dazai sighed and looked away to hide his embarrassment. “Whatever. Can we leave now?” He asked. Poe nodded. “Sure we can. My car is parked outside.” After receiving a bunch more good luck wishes from the agency, the two of them walked out, ready for their mission.

—

This car ride was much more comfortable than the one where he and Chuuya had hastily fled from the people trying to hunt them down. Dazai didn’t know whether that was due to the streets, the type of car, the person driving, or the fact that this time, his mind wasn’t clouded like back then when he just lost Oda.

Sitting in a car without the paranoia of being followed was certainly a different feeling and actually quite enjoyable. They were moving fast, so much faster than by foot, and he didn’t have to walk a single step! For the nth time, Dazai checked the box of books in the backseat. Despite the fact it was only for a short while, it felt very strange, not having Chuuya with him. He couldn’t even reach him if he tried.

“Your boyfriend is safe in there, you don’t have to worry too much.” Poe spoke. Dazai sent him a look. “He’s not my— nevermind. Thanks.” He sighed, absent-mindedly petting Karl who was curled up on his lap. “But you like him?” Poe inquired. Dazai’s hand in the raccoon’s fur tightened as he looked down. “…Yea I do. He’s just so- …He’s just so Chuuya .” Poe tilted his head. “‘Just so Chuuya’? You have quite an interesting way of describing things.” Dazai blushed. “You can’t fool me! You know what I mean- or how would you describe Ranpo-san?” 

Now Poe was the one who looked embarrassed. “Why would I describe Ranpo-kun?” Dazai smiled innocently. “Because you have a massive crush on him don’t ya?” Poe’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he attempted to calm his face down. “No comment.” Dazai snickered.

The gate to the outside was extremely well guarded and so tight, only one vehicle could get through at a time. Dazai did his best to remain calm as they searched the car for any possibly illegal things while he and Poe were stuck talking to some guy who was apparently in charge of this exit or something.

“I do apologize, Poe-san. But we are legally required to check everyone, no matter who. I know you only have the best intentions but-” Poe shook his head. “It’s quite alright. I am well aware how important this is.” The man they were talking to nodded. “Yes, especially now, considering that Arahabaki is running around somewhere out of the government’s sights. I am quite pleased to see you’ve finally gotten yourself an assistant.” Dazai didn’t exactly know how to contribute to the conversation and so merely waved before once again busying his hands with Karl’s fur. Slowly but surely, the raccoon was becoming one of his favorite living beings.

“All clear, sir.” One of the people checking the car said, stepping back and closing the doors. Finally. They had really been standing here for too long. “Have a nice day then, Poe-san, Dazai-san! Good luck on your mission and please, do come back in one piece.” And with that, they were off.

Soon enough, the city outskirts turned into the familiar view of ruins he spent eight years of his life looking at. But even those felt strange now, after spending some time in such a huge, busy city. “From here on, it’ll be around one hour to get there.” Poe announced. The streets were getting progressively worse. Thankfully, the car was specialized for such terrain. Dazai only hummed in acknowledgement, absent-mindedly staring out of the window while holding Karl up to see as well. It reminded him a bit of his solo patrolling sessions before Chuuya entered the picture. Just a lot quicker.

And despite technically being used to it, without Chuuya, all of it felt somewhat boring.

—

It wasn’t difficult to spot the old facility area, if the extremely destroyed buildings and the gigantic crater in the distance were anything to go by. Dazai couldn’t help holding his breath. The last time he’d been here was a long time ago and he didn’t remember many details. Seeing it now, so many years later, filled him with a strange sense of morbid nostalgia. Poe left the road as they closed in on the destroyed buildings. “We will set up a temporary camp outside of the ruins. It’s less dangerous.”

The car stopped, just short of what once must’ve been a wall surrounding the place. Now, there wasn’t too much wall left. Just debris. Dazai carefully opened the door, stepping outside into what he could only describe as a wall of heat. Right. The hottest summer days were upon them. He’d almost forgotten, considering he and Chuuya spent lots of time in places that had functioning ACs. Dazai tugged on his bandages, hoping they wouldn’t grow too uncomfortable too quickly.

Poe left the car and opened the trunk, pulling out various items required to put up their tent. Dazai strolled over to help him and soon enough, the additional equipment and the car had been successfully turned into their temporary base. Poe checked the time on his phone as he grabbed the transport book, laying it out on the ground outside. Dazai crouched down next to it. “So?” He asked. Poe grabbed one of their folding chairs and sat down in the shade their vehicle provided. “I talked this through with Ranpo-kun. We’re just on time. Very soon, they’re supposed to come out.” Dazai didn’t just wanna sit in the sun and wait. Therefore he momentarily excused himself to go take a closer look at the ruins, leaving Poe and Karl to watch over the book. 

It was a weird feeling, being here again. Now, Dazai couldn’t exactly remember where in this place Oda found him. But it wasn’t too relevant regardless. What mattered was getting an overview of the situation. And Dazai would damn well do just that.

Climbing over the remains of what once had been a wall to keep subjects from escaping and intruders from entering wasn’t too difficult, considering there wasn’t much of it left. Though Dazai did put in the effort to climb to the highest point he could find - a gate-looking structure, probably one of the entrances - before giving the area a thorough once-over. From up here, the crater seemed even bigger.

“...Chuuya really did a number on this place, didn’t he?” Dazai mumbled to himself. Such destructive force. Dazai didn’t remember what it looked like at the moment it happened, but it must’ve been beautiful to witness. Beautiful yet dangerous. Maybe that was a good way to describe Chuuya in general.

The crater was round, the middle of it much deeper than the rest. Although there was a platform in said middle. It was small, but elevated. An image flashed through Dazai’s mind. Waking up on a flat surface, getting whisked away by Fukuzawa. He wondered if that platform was where that happened. A platform untouched by destruction. Maybe, despite everything, Chuuya still managed to keep him safe somehow.

Obviously, there were no more dead bodies scattered about. They’d probably gotten rid of those a long time ago. Still, looking at it now, Dazai couldn’t help imagining these dead people all over the ground. White lab coats, drenched in red liquid. The picture in his mind caused peace to settle over his entire being. It was a pleasant feeling, knowing these people died for what they did to the subjects. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Most of the buildings were made of what looked to be white concrete, though by now, it was so covered in dust, other dirt, as well as smudges of blood and other non recognizable substances, that the white looked extremely dirty. Still, Dazai recognized the basic layout of the place, positions of buildings and such. A huge building in the middle, presumably for the experiments. A ring of buildings surrounding it, reaching deep into the ground. The subject holding cells. Dazai wondered where his and Chuuya’s had been once.

The subject holding cells connected to another ring that he couldn’t identify. Though if he had to guess, it might’ve been used as a place to expose subjects to sunlight and real weather conditions. And then of course: The outer ring. Places for the scientists and other employees. Probably dorms and cafeterias and such. Dazai probably wouldn’t know, even if he had his memories, considering he was pretty sure he and Chuuya wouldn’t be allowed in this space. There was probably much more to this place than just those buildings, though the other places were probably underground, considering he could recognize exposed elevator shafts and staircases. 

And then, in the far distance, on the opposite end of the crater, a seemingly endless ocean, the calm waves reflecting the sunlight. 

The ocean, hm? Dazai was reminded of the story Chuuya told him. Maybe they should use their presence here and visit the beach. It sounded like fun, at least.

“Haven’t been here in eight years.” An all-too-familiar voice spoke up next to him. Dazai turned to the side, coming face to face with his partner who probably used his ability to soundlessly float up to his side. Together, they sat, looking at the place they destroyed.

“Gotta say, whatever it is that was sealed in you, it’s extremely destructive. Looks like you could easily wipe out an entire country if you wanted to. I mean- You did this when you were seven.” Chuuya shrugged. “I could. But my body would give out after a couple of minutes, probably. We’re not supposed to be holding such power, therefore it destroys us. Plus, I haven’t let Arahabaki out once since we were separated.” He spoke. Dazai leaned against the redhead’s side. “Not even to protect those kids of yours?”

It was silent for a moment. Then Chuuya shook his head. “I wouldn’t. It’s too dangerous. Not only would I inevitably end up dead because you’re not around, but there’s also the fact that I can’t control Arahabaki. It destroys and kills with no regard for anything. The Sheep wouldn’t have stood a chance. The only person who survived a direct confrontation with it was you. And even you got hurt so badly, I believed you to be dead. It’s been dormant since, though it does like pestering me to set it free. The only time it’s quiet is when you’re in direct contact with me.”

Dazai reached out his hand, resting it atop of Chuuya’s who scoffed quietly. “You don’t gotta hold onto me all the time. I can manage.” Dazai shrugged. “BUt I want to. Is that so wrong?” Chuuya didn’t seem to have anything to refute that.

“It really is deserted here.” Dazai noted, looking around. There were no living beings beside them anywhere. Chuuya scoffed. “Of course it is. What did ya expect? A fucked up welcome home party?” Dazai shuddered at the mere thought. “No thanks. I wouldn’t even wanna know who’d organize such a party. Plus: This is the furthest thing from home to exist. Everything about this place screams at me, telling me to get the hell away from here.” For a long while after that, they only sat there and watched in silence. Dazai remembered Ranpo’s warning about the fact that The Sheep should be around here somewhere, but he had yet to see anyone.

“...See that part over there?” Chuuya vaguely gestured towards a part of what had once been the building for holding cells. “That’s where our first room was located. That was before they placed Arahabaki into my body and moved us further down into the deepest depths of the facility. In fact, the room we spent most of our time in might still be somewhat intact, considering how deep in the ground it was located. Maybe we can go there and look for ourselves at some point these days. Who knows? Might trigger some of your memories.

Dazai contemplated the idea. To be honest, it wasn’t half bad. “How do you know where our room was? I thought all the hallways were designed to look the same to make it as confusing as possible.” Chuuya smirked, amused. “It was actually your idea. Whenever we would be brought outside, whether to the D-3-Cells or to the beach or anywhere really, we’d count the exact number of doors we passed, the exact path we took, and the exact time it took from our room to the outside at walking speed. Whether you believe it or not, it took you like two weeks at a maximum to easily figure out the entire layout of the facility.” 

Dazai tilted his head, surprised, then looked over the crater again. Maybe that was why the layout wasn’t difficult to figure out. Maybe some part of his subconscious is still remembered. Well, one of the few things Dazai liked about himself was the fact that he had a good sense of direction and could easily commit whole maps to his brain, despite only walking past some places once.

“How was the book, by the way?” He asked. Chuuya huffed. “Ranpo-san didn’t even let us try! He solved the whole thing by himself and then we were all back to reality! I swear that guy’s brain reminds me of yours. You’re both too quick in your thought process. Well, I guess with your thoughts at least, I can mostly read or follow them. But when it comes to mystery solving that guy is just on a whole other level! It’s pretty fucking creepy.” 

Dazai snickered. “Maybe that’s just ‘cause he’s so much smarter than you, Chibi~ After all, your brain’s even smaller than you are!” His comment earned him a not-so-gentle punch to the shoulder and a death-glare. “Shut the fuck up before I push you off.”  Dazai merely stuck out his tongue in response. “I’m not wrong!” And well, guess he should’ve seen it coming. One moment he was up, the next he was crashing to the ground. 

The gate wasn’t high enough to cause anyone with even a few acrobatic skills any serious injuries. Dazai knew, and Chuuya knew too. Still, that didn’t stop Dazai from pouting at his partner as he caught his fall and rolled to the side. Chuuya peered at him from the top of the gate. “Are you dead?” He asked. “Nope~ Alive as ever! What’d you do that for Chibi?!” Chuuya scoffed and jumped down himself, easily floating the last few centimeters to cushion his own descent.

Dazai liked their situation. He liked watching Chuuya use his ability. And out here, no one was present to see and catch them. He hoped they could one day get to a point where this was possible, even within the city.

Chuuya kicked his ribs, making Dazai whine. The former scoffed and reached out a hand, pulling the latter up from the ground and dusting him off. “Crybaby.” He commented. Dazai gasped in mock-offense. “Says the one who just nearly killed me! How dare you?!” Chuuya rolled his eyes. “You and I both know it takes much more than that to kill you, Mackerel.”

Their little fight was interrupted when Dazai suddenly picked up on something. Voices. Voices that did not belong to their friends. He immediately went still, and when Chuuya tried asking a question, he shoved a hand over his mouth to shut him up.

“...really don’t think he’s anywhere around here. I mean, we’ve spent the entire day searching this place and we haven’t found a single thing! I’m getting thirsty. Can we please go back to the camp and take a break?” It sounded like a female voice. Dazai couldn’t categorize it. He had no idea who the person talking was. Chuuya, on the contrary, immediately froze up like he’d been turned into a stone statue.

“Fine, fine. Just quit whining, alright? We can send someone else to the afternoon search party.” A male voice. Chuuya tensed even further. Dazai sent him a concerned look. The boy’s eyes were wider, more panicked, than when the radio announced his identity to the whole city. He didn’t have to speak for Dazai to understand what was happening.

“Ugh. I wish they would just send us somewhere without boiling hot temperatures. I’m starting to regret this whole government cooperation thing. Maybe we would’ve been better off staying with Chuuya.” Dazai perked up. Oh? Next to him, Chuuya stopped being frozen, though now he was shaking instead. The voices were getting more quiet, the footsteps moving further away. Dazai had to follow them. He couldn’t just let them go after hearing that. Every bit of information could be useful.

Carefully, he pried Chuuya off of him. “I’ll follow them.” He decided, voice nothing more but a quiet whisper. Chuuya’s whole expression screamed ‘What the fuck are you doing’, but Dazai merely shook his head. “They don’t know me. I told you I was gonna talk to them, and talk I will. Go back to the camp and tell the others not to search for me. I’ll be back. Oh, and: Tell your older brother not to kill anyone, alright?” Chuuya was still frozen in shock, though he managed a weak nod. Dazai smiled and squeezed him in a short hug. “I’ll stay in touch. Cya later.” And before he could second-guess his sudden decision, before Chuuya could say another word, he was off to follow who he knew were members of The Sheep.

Thankfully, they hadn’t gotten far and Dazai was good at being stealthy. He even managed to catch a glimpse of what they looked like. A girl with pink hair, and a boy with silver hair, walking side by side, looking like they were just about ready to fall over from thirst. Perfect. He could deal with them.

Dazai looked for an opportunity and soon enough, the two of them sat down in the shade of a wall to take a break. He checked his equipment. Knife. Gun. Communicator. It was all there and ready. Though he didn’t have any intention of actually wounding them (As per Chuuya’s request, otherwise he might’ve already captured them to torture the information out of them), he had to be careful.

He climbed up the wall right behind the duo, remaining perfectly unnoticed, staring down at them from above. They were sharing water from an almost empty plastic bottle. Now he just had to wait for a good moment to casually join in on their conversation (And hopefully scare them half to death).

Alright then, showtime.

Chapter Text

“See, I just didn’t expect this to be part of the whole deal. I thought telling them what exactly he looks like and showing them places we frequent would be enough. But now they’re sending us right out again. We didn’t even get to enjoy our rooms properly before we had to leave to go here. And now we’re stuck in the most dangerous place in Japan, without Chuuya.” The girl sighed and leaned back. “Was this really worth it, Shirase?”

Shirase. Dazai had heard that name before. According to Chuuya, he was the one who stabbed him. Dazai felt some form of anger well up in his heart. This guy had put Chuuya in such a terrible state. He wondered if he was in any way sorry at all.

“I know what you’re thinking, Yuan, but we can’t exactly go back now can we. Even if we made the wrong choice, it already happened. We already backstabbed him. I don’t think he’d forgive and take us back regardless.” Dazai shook his head. These idiots. Chuuya had already forgiven them, even though Dazai still didn’t get why.

“Yea I know. Just… I feel like we were safer with him than we are now. Now we only have some doctor guy and actual children to protect us.” A doctor and some children? Hopefully not too difficult to deal with. It probably depended on whether they were subjects and, in that case, their abilities.

“Do we even know if Chuuya will ever come back here in the first place? He’s probably at the other end of the country already. I’m not sure he’d be happy to come back to the place he was kept in when he was a kid.” Yuan spoke, contemplative. Shirase shrugged. “I suppose we’ll never know unless we wait here and search. Who knows? Maybe the familiarity will draw him back here. And then we’ll just.. capture him and hand him to the government, y’know? Just like they told us to.” His voice sounded slightly shaky and uncertain. Maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for these kids to redeem themselves.

“Or maybe you won’t find him and spend the rest of your time here walking around the ruins, catching heat strokes and slowly going insane!” Dazai chimed in. It was hilarious, watching their reactions. Both kids jumped up straight, their bottle clattering to the ground. The girl hugged the boy’s arm as they both screeched like they’d seen a ghost. Dazai felt no remorse whatsoever, not even when the shaky barrel of a gun was aiming right at him just a few seconds later.

“Now now! There’s no reason to attack me!” He said. Though the kids did not seem like they were gaining any reassurance. Dazai smiled, unmoving, not faltering even as the barrel of a gun was pointed directly at him mere moments later.

“Who the heck are you? Answer right now or I will shoot.” Shirase threatened. Dazai sighed. No you wouldn’t. Your hands are far too shaky, you wouldn’t even manage to hit me. Still, he supposed he should have at least some courtesy. If not for these kids themselves, then for Chuuya. Because Chuuya cared about them.

“Osamu Dazai. Pleased to make your acquaintance. May I come down there now? Y’know, without taking a bullet to the head?” The gun was still pointed at him, though Shirase did falter in his stance just a little, allowing Dazai to safely jump off without risking anything. Yuan squeezed her companion’s arm and glared at him. “What do you want from us, creep?” She hissed. Dazai shrugged. “Just heard you discuss some things and figured I’d join in. Something wrong with that?” Neither of the two seemed to know what to say to that. And so, Dazai took the liberty to continue.

“I assume you’re members of the group who used to work with Arahabaki? I heard the radio announcement. You were the ones who gave them the description?” They still looked panicked. Great. Well, Dazai guessed he couldn’t expect much else. “I’m not gonna hurt you. In fact, I am also searching for Arahabaki. So we’re the same!” That seemed to get their attention and, despite the remaining fear and hostility, Shirase set down the gun and Yuan slightly relaxed her hold. 

“And what can you do to prove that we can trust you?” The girl asked. Dazai shrugged. “Dunno. Take my word for it? What else am I supposed to do?” The two others regarded him with mild glares. “...We’ll consider trusting you if you tell us what your business with the search for Arahabaki is.” Well, Dazai could do that. Coming up with a fake story shouldn’t be too hard. He could just use the cover story he made up to get his exit permit, but he doubted its believability for those people, considering Chuuya wasn’t the type to randomly kill people and hadn’t been the type with The Sheep either. A different idea had to do the trick. Or a differentiation from the original one. And so he put on his best pitiful expression and allowed himself to sag back against the nearest wall, making an effort to seem less threatening.

“You see, a while ago while I was roaming outside, he stole something important from me and I’d really like to have that back. I heard there was a search for him happening and so I decided to leave the city and look for him for myself. If I can find him, I can get back what he took and also apprehend him at the same time! Wouldn’t that be perfect?” The other two exchanged glances, then looked at Dazai again. “...What did he steal?” Shirase asked. Dazai faked a heartbroken and sad expression, looking down at his arms and tugging on his bandages. Hearing what this group consisted of, surely they couldn’t say no to a child in such a similar situation as the one he made up.

“It’s a lucky charm my parents gave to me just before they were killed by some subjects a few years ago. They sent me away to protect me, then they were killed by these monsters. It’s the only thing I have left of them so it is really important to me.” And there it went, the hostility and apprehension of the other teens dropped. Perfect. Dazai could work with this.

Shirase carefully stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. Dazai resisted the urge to shrug him off. Pretend to be a sad, pathetic child. 

“Well why didn’t you just say so from the start? We have plenty of experience in losing family to the subjects. We know how it feels. And we also know how important little things from our old lives are. Yuan here, for example, has a hair clip she got from her mother when she was little. She kept it safe ‘til this day.” Dazai looked up. The girl walked closer and removed said hair clip, showing it off. It was quite a plain hair clip, but Dazai couldn’t exactly blame her for keeping it. As Oda and many of their visitors over the years told him, such objects could be of great importance. 

“So, whaddya say? Wanna come with us? Lots of us have such stories of losing our families. And we’re also searching for Chuuya. Don’t you think you’d be safer working with others?” Jackpot. Exactly as I wanted this to turn out. Dazai offered them a small, grateful smile. “I’d like that! Where are you staying?” And just like that, he was being led along by the two teens. “Our camp isn’t too far! Just come with us and we’ll be there soon enough!” Yuan said as they started walking. “I’m right behind ya!” Dazai confirmed. As they walked, he briefly pulled out his phone to text Chuuya.

Me:

Infiltrating the sheep right as we speak! Don’t let yourself be discovered while I’m gone! I might call you later!

Darling Chibi of mine <3:

Ur fckin insane.

Me:

Aw~ Is Chibi worried for me?~ 

Darling Chibi of mine <3:

Fuck off.

Darling Chibi of mine <3:

Dont get urself in trouble

Darling Chibi of mine <3:

Verlaine says if u get urself into some sht he’s gonna personally come over there and snap ur neck

Me:

Nu worries, I’m good!

Dazai smiled at his phone amused. Shirase turned back to look at him, one eyebrow raised. “Who are you texting?” He asked. Dazai turned off his phone, shoving it into his pocket. He thought about his answer for a moment, then decided to have some fun with his answer. “Just my boyfriend. He was asking if I’m alright.” The skeptical look the other boy was throwing him was funny enough. “Well, tell him we’re keeping you safe I guess.”

—

The Sheep’s camp was much bigger than the one belonging to Dazai and his companions. Though it made sense, considering the group was bigger. It also looked much more official, with the same black cars the government workers were driving and the same tents he’d seen them use back when he and Chuuya found a camp and looked through it.

Dazai could see at least two dozen kids of various ages sitting around, sharing food, playing games, or simply watching their surroundings. Though they all interrupted whatever they were doing to come greet their fellow Sheep. Dazai remained a step behind them as they rushed over. “Shirase! Yuan!” A little boy, probably no older than 8, ran up to them with some water which the two of them gladly took. “Found anything?” Another kid asked, this one a young girl. Shirase shook his head. “Still no traces of Chuuya. Though we did find someone else. …You gonna come out from back there or what?” He asked, directed at Dazai. The brunette did as he was told and walked closer, waving at the group that formed around them. They were regarding him with wide, suspicious eyes. Dazai glanced at the duo that picked him up.

“We found him in the ruins. He’s like us, lost his family to the subjects and is currently searching for Chuuya to capture him.” Yuan explained. The kids seemed to accept that as enough of an answer, greeting him before turning to their previous spots. Once again, Dazai looked over the group. There were quite a few young ones among them. Some reminded him of Oda’s kids. …Dazai really wanted to know how they were doing.

“Our current overseer is probably somewhere around. He will most likely come greet you later. For now though, I suggest you sit down somewhere in the shade while we go and write a report of today’s search. The government guys want all of the details, no matter how miniscule. You can also talk to the other kids, I guess. Just don’t let it get to you if they don’t trust you immediately. They all have difficult lives.” Dazai nodded. “Will do.” The other boy sighed and then pulled Yuan along towards some tent. “We’ll be back in a bit! If you need anything, ask anyone around.” And then, they were gone.

As Dazai stood there, alone, he couldn’t help but think about how these kids were far too trusting, allowing strangers in their camp just like that. But it was likely they had some guards around, just in case. He didn’t really feel like talking to anyone in particular right at that moment, ad so he opted for sitting down on a chair in the shade of a tent, watching the group and profiling their members, maybe also shooting Chuuya some more messages to update him on the situation.

Apparently, he was not getting a break anytime soon though, considering he suddenly felt a pair of eyes boring into him from somewhere at the edge of the camp. Dazai turned over, tilting his head at the person in question. It was a boy, looking a little younger than he was, staring at him with dark, empty eyes. His hair was black with frosted white tips and he was wearing almost entirely black clothing. Dazai offered him a smile. What was he even staring at him like this for?

The boy’s eyes widened slightly and he whispered something to a younger, black-haired girl at his side who’d been busy drawing something into the sandy ground up until that point. The girl whispered something back, then nodded towards Dazai who had no idea what they were talking about. They were too far away to read their exact lip movements. But maybe he wouldn’t have to figure out what they were saying as, just after that, the boy got up from the ground and walked towards him. Dazai waited patiently, wondering where this was gonna go, unmoving from his chair. Soon enough, the boy was standing right in front of him, still seemingly staring into his soul.

“...Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna tell me what you want?” Dazai asked after a good two minutes of silence. The boy cleared his throat before speaking. Though the words that came out caught even the brunette off-guard.

“Are you Mr. Dazai?”

Dazai almost froze on the spot, staring at the guy. He was pretty damn sure he hadn’t told the bigger group his name yet. Maybe Shirase or Yuan sent a text? But why in the world would they do that? Dazai double-checked his clothes to see if he had his name anywhere, though he came up empty-handed. Well, guess there was only one thing he could do. “...And where do you know my name from?” He asked. The boy sat down on the chair opposite of him, leaning on the table. “Dr. Mori told me that I should keep my eyes out for a person with dark brown hair and bandages all over him. And that I should tell him if I find that person.”

Dr. Mori? Now why was that name so familiar? Dazai dug around through his recent memories. Meeting People. Sharing stories with Chuuya. Listening to stories from Chuuya. 

Oh.

There it was.

Dr. Fukuzawa and Dr. Mori. Also known as the two scientists who apparently were taking care of them and who apparently wanted to protect them. Or, as Chuuya put it, ‘the only ones who ever seemed to give a shit about us’. Well, wasn't that interesting? Maybe things were slowly coming together.

“What’s your name?” Dazai asked. The boy across from him straightened in his seat.

“Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, Sir.”

—

Turns out, Akutagawa was one of the people helping with security. A subject himself, 13 years old, taken in by this Mori person to work with him. He was quiet and gloomy and had a little sister he cared about a lot. His ability allowed him to control his clothing in various ways, useful for offense and defense, though he was still having a bit of a hard time controlling it and figuring out how to properly use it. Dazai made a mental note to dive deeper into its functions and maybe offer some help in that regard.

Akutagawa also knew of him. He knew he was a subject, he knew he once was being contained in this facility and watched over by Mori. Whoever this doctor slash scientist was, he apparently, for whatever reason, quite liked talking about Dazai. Then again: Chuuya did tell him that both Mori and Fukuzawa genuinely cared about them. Akutagawa apparently also knew of Chuuya but somehow hadn’t told The Sheep anything about him.

“So what you’re saying is: Mori knows Chuuya is with me and didn’t tell anyone?” Dazai asked. Akutagawa shrugged. “He didn’t go into a lot of detail. He just told me to make absolutely sure I don’t tell any of the other people here. If you want to know why, you’ll have to ask him personally. All he told me to do was to tell him if I see you.”

Dazai hummed in contemplation, taking a sip from the water bottle Akutagawa had given him a few minutes earlier. Well, he’d wanted to talk to Mori regardless, so that wasn’t much of an issue. He’d just have to find the guy. Or, alternatively, have the guy find him. According to the younger boy in front of him, Mori should be somewhere around camp, but had left shortly before Dazai’s arrival to tend to a kid with a heatstroke. The man was a doctor, after all.

“I can notify him about your arrival if you’d like.” Akutagawa offered, pulling out a phone from somewhere within his too large coat. “Go ahead then.” Dazai responded as he dropped his head on the table. It was warm. Too warm. Even in the shade of the tent it felt like he was melting on the spot. For a short moment he only heard typing, then Akutagawa shuffled in his seat. “He said it’ll take him a while longer, but he’ll come find you as soon as he’s done so just standby for now. Unless you have somewhere urgent to be?” Dazai shook his head. “I’m alright. I can wait.”

Dazai half expected Akutagawa to vanish without a sound, probably to return to his sister, but instead, the boy inspected him closer, seemingly wanting to say something. Dazai tilted his head, prompting him to go on. Akutagawa sighed and played with a loose thread of his sleeve. “The… The bandages. They must be quite warm. Over there, where most of the other kids are, there is a tent with an AC. If you join them, I’m sure it’ll be more comfortable than the heat over here.” And then, he was gone.

Dazai looked over at the tent he had talked about. And indeed, most of the kids were sitting there. To say he wanted to do it would be a lie. But then again, he was trying to get closer to them. So maybe this action would be useful. Even though he did not like how many people he’d be stuck with. In the end, he caved to the heat and slowly walked over.

“Hello new kid!” A young girl greeted him with a wave. Dazai waved back as he searched for a seat somewhere cool and not too close to the group. The AC was a blessing after spending a not insignificant amount of time in the summer heat. “Hello. Don’t mind me, it is getting a little too hot out there.” He admitted, truthfully. Some of the others instantaneously gave him nods of agreement.

“Please do stay here then. We’re already in a danger zone and far away from the safety of the city. We don’t need more problems, overheating won’t do any of us any good.” Dazai only hummed, remaining quiet as the casual conversation continued. 

“Did Dr. Mori say anything about the government giving us access to Null technology?” Someone inquired. And that in particular made Dazai perk up. “Null technology?” He asked. The kids glanced at him surprised. “Do you not know about Null technology? I thought everyone knew about it!” Reluctantly, Dazai shook his head. Was this something he was supposed to know?”

“Geez, have you been living under a rock? Well, guess we can tell you. …Heard of the Null Curtain?” Dazai nodded. “Sure have. It’s the forcefields around cities.” And an extra security measure for the subject holding cells. Though he didn’t say the second part out loud.

“Precisely. And Null technology is basically the Null curtain applied to other stuff like shields and such. It’s supposed to help protect us against subjects. Unfortunately, the technology is extremely rare as it requires a particular resource that is no longer available.” Dazai raised an eyebrow as he listened. Right. The Null Curtain was one of the things he still didn’t have an explanation for. He knew that it hurt people with abilities, blocked said abilities off, but also that his own ability made him immune to it, but not much more. Maybe these people knew.

“So.. How exactly does this Null Curtain work? Do you guys know what it’s made of?” He asked. It was at that moment that Shirase and Yuan entered the tent, probably returning from their work. “Ya wanna know about the Null Curtain? I mean- there is this sort of legend going around about where it came from if you wanna hear it. Though I don’t know how much of it is the truth. It is, however, said to originate from the surviving scientists so there must be some element of truth to it.” Shirase said. “Go ahead and tell me then, will you?” Dazai requested.

The two teens sat down across from him, absent-mindedly passing some bags of snacks towards the other kids in the tent. Dazai inspected the suspicious pack of sweets shoved his way. He wasn’t feeling too hungry. Yuan sighed. “There are various versions of the story and it’s impossible to tell which one’s the original, but they all talk about a subject who sacrificed himself to rescue the people of Japan. A true hero. They call him by the alias Null. Terrible name for someone who’s supposed to be a powerful, special hero, if you ask me.”

Null, hm? Dazai questioned why oh why this appellation felt so familiar, regardless of the Null Curtain being named after it. It was like he’d heard it before, but in a much different context. Though, as in so many cases, he couldn’t recall any details.

“The basic story goes something along the lines of this: There was a person who could easily stop subjects’ powers. He was employed by the facility to keep their subjects in check and step in if necessary. For a few years he helped them and in return, the scientists treated him like one of their most prized members, their MVP if you will. That is until the outbreak eight years ago where Arahabaki went on a rampage to destroy everything. It is said that Null was the one who stopped Arahabaki, but he lost his life in the catastrophe it brought. Still, he apparently knew the secret of keeping subjects away and passed it on to the scientists who used it to protect the people of the country.”

Safe to say, Dazai felt a little strange about this story. According to Chuuya, it had been him who stopped Arahabaki, not some specialized hero guy. Then again, it was a story. And there was no way to know the truth unless you were one of the people involved. It could very well be something the scientists made up, possibly to cover what truly happened.

“Ah. So that’s what happened.” He responded nonetheless. Yuan shrugged. “As I said: It’s a story and there’s about 1000 different versions of it, so take it with a grain of salt. That being said: If there truly is such a hero out there, I genuinely hope he managed to find peace, wherever he may be. Anyone who helped in this matter deserves a spot in heaven.”

Dazai choked down a comment about how it was some of the people who ‘helped’, who were responsible for the event in the first place.

“Anyway. That’s the story. Now, do we wanna go to the kitchen tent? I believe we’ll be having dinner soon!” Shirase suggested. Dazai watched as multiple pairs of eyes lit up, children happily jumping to their feet, off to get food. Chuuya did tell them they spent a great deal of their post-apocalypse days without enough food, so he couldn’t blame them. Originally, he didn’t want to follow them, wanted to be alone, maybe call Chuuya for a while, but the kids insisted, telling him how he was ‘one of them’ now and how they wanted to know more about him. In the end, he couldn’t do much to stop them from dragging him along.

—

“Fucking idiot.” Chuuya’s voice sounded from the other end of the call. Dazai pouted, despite being aware that the other boy couldn’t see him right now. “Chibi! This is no way to treat your beloved partner!” He complained. Chuuya let out an exasperated sigh, an eyeroll evident in his tone. “Who was it who spontaneously charged into enemy territory with no hesitation whatsoever?!” 

Dazai sighed, allowing his gaze to drag across the giant crater that was now bathed in moonlight. It was late. The Sheep had gone to sleep quite a while ago. Mori still hadn’t shown his face. Apparently the situation of the kid he was watching over was exhausting. As, along with the heat stroke, said kid also seemed like they were suffering a few heart problems which weren’t made better by their state of being. And so, after ensuring everyone was asleep, Dazai had gotten up and strolled away from the camp to talk to his Chibi. A little further away, Akutagawa was guarding their privacy.

“...Are they doing alright?” Chuuya asked after a while. Typical him. Still caring about the people who hurt him. “They’re alright. They have food and water, places to sleep in, people watching over them and medics supporting them with potential issues.” Chuuya’s response came in the form of an unmistakable sigh of relief. “Good. That’s- That’s good. …And what about you? Are you alright? Do they suspect something?” Dazai shook his head, before realizing that Chuuya still couldn’t see him and switching to words. “They don’t suspect a thing. I told them a cover story and they were really quick to believe it. Your little group is gonna get in trouble if they go on with being this trusting.

Dazai heard shuffling from the other side of the line, wondering what the other was doing. Was he in his sleeping bag? Or bundled up in a blanket? Or was he somewhere outside? The shuffling sounded like clothes, so his money was on the last option. “They’re no longer my group, remember? They threw me out.” Chuuya spoke, voice laced with some underlying sadness. Dazai gripped his phone just a little tighter. Chuuya deserved so much better.

“Just for the record: I am still very mad at them. The only reason I haven’t done anything about it is, because you told me not to.” Dazai grumbled. That drew a small chuckle out of his Chibi, and that was enough. “Hang in there jackass. You’ll be fine.” Chuuya said. Dazai snorted and leaned back in his seat. “No promises.” More silence, and then Dazai found his mouth speaking out words he’d rather never have said. Those being: “...Can we switch to facetime? I wanna see Chibi~” He immediately slammed his own hand to his forehead at the realization of his actions.

Fortunately, Chuuya didn’t seem too weirded out and actually did switch to facetime mode. He was outside. The only lights illuminating his figure were the phone’s screen and the moon. Dazai offered him a grin. Chuuya shook his head and scoffed. “Stupid fish. Can you not go more than a few hours without seeing my face?” Dazai genuinely didn’t think he could, but of course he didn’t tell the other that. Instead… “Nah~ I just know that you’re the one who can’t live without seeing me.” Chuuya sent him a withering glare through the screen. “Die.” He said. Dazai couldn’t help but burst out into laughter. “No can do~ Sorry Chibi~”

It was nice, sitting here with Chuuya, despite not being in physically close proximity. Though Dazai also knew this meant that neither of them would be getting much sleep tonight. Briefly, he questioned whether to call Chuuya over to stay with him, but he swiftly abandoned that idea, seeing how dangerous it could easily become if even one of The Sheep woke up and came close.

“...Are we gonna stay on facetime all night then? Y’know, considering neither of us is gonna sleep anyway?” Chuuya asked. Dazai glanced at him, surprised. “How’d you-”, “-your face is basically screaming ‘It’s either Chuuya comes here or we’re both gonna let the insomnia win’.” Dazai continued staring at him, then chuckled. “...You sure you don’t have mind-reading abilities, Chibi?” He asked. Chuuya poked the camera with a finger. “Pretty sure. Unfortunately, I just know you too damn well. Guess that comes with being stuck with you as a shitty best friend.” 

Dazai’s eyes sparkled. “...Did Chuuya just call me his best friend?!” He asked. The redhead blushed a lovely shade of pink. Blushy Chuuya was quickly becoming one of Dazai’s favorite things in the world. “Shut the fuck up! You heard nothing.” Chuuya grumbled, though that only made Dazai happier. “Chuuya called me his best friend~” He teased “Chuuya’s my best friend too then!” He then added, voice a little softer (He didn’t think ‘best friends’ was enough to describe his stupid emotions towards the short redhead). Chuuya’s cheeks calmed down and he shook his head. “Sappy bastard.” He commented. Dazai pouted and sent him a look. “You were the one who started this whole thing!” He complained. Chuuya grumbled something under his breath before begrudgingly looking away. “Fuck off.”

“Boys.” A new voice interrupted, startling both out of their conversation. Right away, Dazai noted that it wasn’t a voice belonging to any of their companions. Nor was it any he had heard before. …At least not this clearly. And not in his current set of memories. Still. He recognized it. Just as he recognized the person who appeared behind them.

There, standing perfectly still, stood a tall man with black hair and purple-ish eyes, wearing a white lab coat and offering them a warm smile. Dazai’s hold around his phone tightened, imagining it as his actual partner, rather than a virtual image of him. The man looked quite familiar, radiating an aura that Dazai’s instincts considered safe. And this time, he had no need for Chuuya’s input, as he most definitely knew who was standing before them.

“My my, Dazai-kun. You’ve grown a lot these eight years. I trust Oda-kun did a good job caring for you? I always knew I could trust him with the position as your guardian. And look at you now. I’m very proud of you. Both you and Chuuya-kun, in fact. You made it this far and now you’re standing right in front of me once again. …Well, Dazai-kun’s right here, at least.” 

On their call, Chuuya scoffed. “Well, I can hardly get too close to The Sheep and their camp now can I?” He spoke. The older male laughed quietly. “I know. I know. So what do you say we go somewhere else where Chuuya-kun can actually join us? Is that alright with you?” He asked, as he started walking in a direction away from the camp. Dazai followed after him, taking Chuuya with him. “Quite alright, Mori-san.” 

Mori smiled. 

“Then let us go. The night is young, and we have a lot of talking and catching up to do, my dear trauma children.”

Chapter Text

“I believe we’re far enough away from the camp for Chuuya-kun to come join us.” Mori announced after they walked about halfway around the crater. They were seemingly walking towards the ocean. Dazai turned to his phone. “You heard him Chibi, come over here then.” Chuuya scoffed. “I’m not your dog, don’t call me over like that.” Dazai grinned. “Aww! But you’re usually following me around like one!” Chuuya hung up their call without another word. “He’s coming!” Dazai confirmed. Mori looked quite amused. “Of course he is.”

The first thing Dazai felt upon Chuuya’s arrival was an elbow to his ribs, making him break into a coughing fit. And then his partner was next to him once again, body surrounded by the red glow of his ability. “Hey old man. Long time no see! Glad that you haven’t quite shriveled away yet!” Mori’s smile looked pained at the teen’s rude comment. Meanwhile Dazai found it incredibly funny. The doctor sighed. “Chuuya-kun… I’m only 42. I’m not quite a skeleton yet you know?” Chuuya shrugged. “Old man.” But it sounded more like friendly teasing, rather than actually mean. Mori gave up. “Nice to see you again too, Chuuya, thanks for not actually killing me back then.”

Dazai was slightly confused. Both Chuuya and Mori seemed aware. “Don’t worry, we’ll explain.” Mori reassured. And that was that. The trio continued their path. Well, Mori did, destination clear in mind. Chuuya and Dazai merely followed him. They were still continuing to the beach.

“Say, Dazai-kun, has Chuuya-kun told you about our little beach adventures yet?” The adult asked. “Some. Like the bracelet.” Dazai responded, smirking amused as he noticed the mild flush on his partner’s face. Mori mirrored the amusement. “Ah, quite a sweet one that was. Both of you were absolutely adorable. It was Chuuya-kun’s fifth birthday, you see? And he’d just gone through the horrors of having an entity of destruction sealed in his body. He was so afraid. Afraid that you’ll see him as a monster, that you wouldn’t like him anymore. And to make him feel better, you asked me to bring you an empty syringe on the beach trip we promised you two after Chuuya-kun was done. When I asked you why, you pulled out a seashell-pearl bracelet and told me you wanted to carve something inside of the seashells to always remind your little friend that to you, he’ll never be inhuman.”

Chuuya looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. “Mori-san… Do you really have to tell him all this shit?” He asked. Mori chuckled. “Why of course I do! After all, you guys are trying to retrieve his memories! I’m merely trying to help.” Chuuya grumbled something under his breath before crossing his arms and stalking ahead, seemingly having grasped onto the exact location they were headed to. The doctor smiled, amused. “Ah, yes, dear Chuuya is still very shy about his attachment to you. Say, when you met again, was he acting clingy?”

Dazai took a moment to recall the first days with Chuuya. “I guess? It got a lot more extreme on the day he found out I was a subject too.” Mori hummed in acknowledgement. “Then that was probably the day he fully realized who you are.” Dazai quietly nodded along. “He like- froze up the moment I showed off my ability. Then he asked about my code which I no longer have. But before we could get any further in the conversation we realized the government was onto us and had to rush back and check on Odasaku and his kids. And then–” Dazai cut himself off before speaking any further. Mori sighed and patted his head. “I know, I know. My dear friend Fukuzawa told me all about the situation. I must apologize for not finding you sooner, but I was preoccupied dealing with my organization as well as The Sheep. Honestly did not expect to meet you two so soon, but then you up and came right here to me. I’m touched, you two must’ve truly missed me.”

Chuuya chimed in from the front. “For the record: We had no idea you were gonna be here and we did not come for you.” Mori sounded exasperated when he responded. “How cruel, Chuuya-kun. I am hurt. And that after I spend years watching over you!” The redhead merely smiled. “And yet you still worked with the scientists…” Mori looked at him, defeated. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll explain everything. But wasn’t my near-death experience enough karma already?” Well they were certainly getting along at least.

Chuuya shook his head. “Nevermind. Thanks for watching over us. You and Fukuzawa-san both. You did what you could.” At some point during the conversation, they had arrived at a wide, open beach that looked like not even a subject had been here in years. The sand was white, even in the night, and looked incredibly soft with the exception of seashells and stones. Waves calmly collided with the shore and the moon and stars created a beautiful light pattern on the water. The air tasted salty and the gentle wind was a welcome difference from the hot days they were currently dealing with

“It’s like nothing about this place changed.” Mori sighed, seemingly lost in his memories. “But you’re older now. No longer little kids. So in a way, everything changed.” He offered them a smile, then walked further down the shore, beckoning them to follow. “Care to join me for a small walk to your former favorite place?” Neither of the boys protested.

Their apparent ‘favorite place’ actually looked pretty cool. Dazai looked up at the tall stone walls around them. They formed a cavern, safe from any possibly prying eyes, as well as wind and weather. Even the sea was calmer in here, allowing him to see swarms of fish and other animals, as well as plants under the surface, even a little further away from where waves meet stone. The hole connecting the cavern to the ocean wasn’t big, which probably contributed to the place looking like a small lake rather than a part of the bigger picture.

“Pretty damn cool, isn’t it?” A voice spoke right next to his ear. Dazai turned over to see Chuuya smirk at him. “So we went here when we were kids?” He asked. “As many times as we were allowed to.” The other responded. Dazai looked at his partner, then at Mori, who was offering him an encouraging nod, then he walked closer to the water and knelt down, reaching out and allowing a cool wave to wash over his hand.

And just like that, poking and prodding at his brain, as though it had just woken up, a memory crawled into the realm of his consciousness.

—

A0 was gripping onto Dr. Mori’s lab coat with one hand, watching A5158 as he asked Dr. Fukuzawa questions about a seashell he was holding. He felt a familiar hand atop of his head and looked up at his caretaker who was smiling softly. “Won’t you join your little friend, A0?” The brunette boy shook his head and looked down. “The water stings.” He said, gesturing at the waves lapping around A5158’s feet. “Going in too far hurts me.”

Dr. Mori regarded him with a sad, sympathetic expression. “It’s the cuts. Salt doesn’t do well with injuries, and this is salt water.” A0 lightly tugged on his bandages and nodded. “It hurts.” He repeated. The touch to his head became much more protective. The little boy hugged his caretaker’s leg more tightly.

“Look A0!” A5158 announced, trotting over to him and holding out something in his hand. It was quite a large seashell. Pretty and white-pink, almost red in some places. A5158 pressed it against his friend’s chest. “I found this for you! There’s a lot more near the water if you want!”

A0 carefully took the seashell and regarded it for some time. To think that it was part of a living being once… A protective armor, shielding it from danger. Sometimes, Dazai would like such armor as well. If only he’d be able to go into the water. Maybe he could dive down deep into the ocean and find a seashell big enough to protect both him and A5158 from everything that hurt them.

“I can’t go in the water.” The brunette said. A5158 pouted. “You don’t have to go into the water! You can just stay close to it! And if it does reach you, you’ll be fine. At least as long as it’s just your feet. The water only hurts you if it gets to the cuts, right? Dr. Mori, help me with this!”

Dr. Mori sighed, amused, then took A0 by the hand. “He’s right, you know? As long as it doesn’t touch the cuts, you’ll be fine. Wanna try?” A0 was still a little reluctant. He was just getting over the pain of this morning’s blood-taking procedure. But then A5158 took his other free hand and pulled him towards the water, towards Dr. Fukuzawa. And just like that, his initial fears seemed to disappear.

“So you decided to join us?” The older man asked, voice warm. “You don't have to, you know? You can say no, it’ll be alright.” A0 shook his head and slowly let go of Dr. Mori’s hand, focusing fully on A5158. For him, he’d do anything. Even get close to things that might hurt him. The spark of joy in his blue eyes was worth every bit of risk.

The water was cool when it gently washed over A0’s feet. And, just as the others said, it didn’t hurt. Not like this. Not when it didn’t reach his injuries. In fact, it was rather nice, considering it was quite warm. A5158 caught A0 in a soft side hug, nuzzling his face against his shoulder. “See? It’s not that bad!” The brunette boy answered with a small nod, then spotted something at his feet. It was a seashell, much like the one his companion had given him. Only that this one was shimmering with light blue colors.

Carefully, A0 reached down to pick the seashell up, ensuring only his non-injured fingers touched the water. Then he offered the seashell to the other boy, unable to avoid a small smile tugging on his own lips. A5158’s eyes sparkled when he realized what was happening. “Is this for me?” He asked softly. A0 nodded and looked down, trying to hide the warmth in his cheeks. 

Unfortunately, he couldn’t hide for long as immediately after taking the seashell and placing it safely in the small bag he was carrying, A5158 gently squished his cheeks and raised his head to make him look directly at him. “Thanks for the seashell!” The redhead spoke happily. A0’s cheeks reddened even more. Why in the world did he feel so hot all of a sudden? Was he coming down with a fever?! “Y- You’re welcome.” He mumbled quietly. “I mean- you did give me one first so…”

And then, just like that, without warning, A5158 placed the smallest and most gentle of kisses on his lips before hugging him close.

A0 was speechless.

In his line of sight, both their caretakers sent him amused glances. Dr. Mori even formed a heart with his hands while Dr. Fukuzawa had his own face buried in his colleague’s shoulder, visibly trying to hold back giggles and maintain his composure, his shoulder-length hair not doing a very good job at hiding his expression. A0 sent them a mild glare, though he doubted he looked too threatening, considering how red he probably was. Instead, he opted for hugging his friend back tightly. A5158 squeezed him once, and A0 felt like he was gonna die.

Eventually, the other boy pulled back and burst out into giggles. “You’re red!” He noted. A0 pouted. “That’s because you kissed me!” His misery seemed to greatly amuse the redhead. “But I read that in one book! This one boy gave the girl a gift and the girl was so happy that she thanked him with a kiss!” A0 swore he could hear Dr. Fukuzawa mumble something about not giving a four-about-to-be-five-year-old kid romance novels to read quite yet. But A0’s thoughts were immediately interrupted by A5158 pulling at his arm and dragging him off to run around the beach.

It was easy to get over his embarrassment, so long as the other boy would just continue smiling at him like that. A5158 was suffering enough as is. And A0 would kill for his companion to have even just a few moments of genuine joy in his life.

Whatever it takes. Whether that be murder or anything else. He wanted this boy to be happy.

And as they stood there, hand in hand, A5158 pointing out their reflections in the water, A0 felt as though this could be something he was willing to live for.

—

Dazai blinked and the reflection on the water, a reflection of him and Chuuya, though much younger, disappeared and gave way to their current selves looking back up at them. His own face had a faraway expression, as though he’d been completely zoned out, as for Chuuya, he was standing there with his head tilted and mild concern written over his features.

“I recalled something.” Dazai announced. Chuuya’s eyes widened a little and then he punched his shoulder. “Fuck yes! We’re getting somewhere!” Dazai scoffed and rubbed his shoulder. “And yet you still punch me over it! Even though I’m putting in my best effort to remember everything about you!” He complained. Then, he made an effort to sound more serious. “We were at this beach. Together with Mori-san and Fukuzawa-san. You gave me a seashell and asked me to come to the water with you. I didn’t want to, but eventually I agreed. And then I gave you a seashell too. And then you..-”

Dazai interrupted himself from continuing with this story. Was he just supposed to tell Chuuya he kissed him? Wouldn’t that just be weird? What if Chuuya didn’t remember, what if he did remember and would be disgusted- or–

Thankfully, a different kind of interruption rescued him before he could finish his thoughts and possibly say something he’d regret. It was Mori. “You’re saying your memories are coming back?” He asked. Dazai decided to push the thing about what happened then back to overthink another time and turned to the doctor. “Bit by bit, yes. Sometimes it’s dreams. Sometimes they just- reappear, like right now. Sometimes it’s just a feeling of déjà vu. My guess is that certain actions or events trigger the memories. Still, it’s gonna take years to recover everything like this. And I’d rather we get it over with more quickly, considering I need them for future plans. Speaking of- Mori-san, do you know why they were wiped in the first place?”

It was quiet for a while. Mori shifted from one foot on the other, looking like he did not want to be in this situation. “Of course I know why. But-” Dazai sighed, he already had a feeling that he knew about the answer. “...but you can’t tell me?” Mori nodded. “Exactly. I can’t tell you. It’s something you have to remember on your own. Otherwise I’m unsure how you’ll handle it.” Dazai dropped down into a sitting position on the ground. “Great. Awesome. Once again I’m not being told anything.”

The doctor tilted his head and sighed. “Patience, my boy. I may not be able to directly tell you all about it, but-” Dazai looked up again. “But?” Mori smiled. “But I do know where your memories are. They’ve been stored away somewhere safe. Like a database of sorts. A library of memories that had to be wiped, of subjects and non-subjects alike. They’re not gone, merely locked away. And as long as they exist, we can get them back.”

Dazai jumped at this new tidbit of information. “And what do I gotta do to get there? Where are they?” Mori chuckled. “Patience, Dazai-kun. It’s not an easy place to access. Far from that, actually. And we’ll need a foolproof plan to get there. I’m sure you know that rushing in head first won’t work in most cases. Especially when dealing with something as delicate as government secrets. You can wait, I’m sure. After all, you always plan for any situation and only go in once you know what exactly to do. That’s also why you’re trying to get your memories back before confronting the government, isn’t it?”

Dazai couldn’t disagree with that. To him, planning what he was going to do beforehand had been a major aspect of everything he did. So much so that Odasaku had sometimes called him overly cautious. Though he never actually complained, and those plans never let them down. He resigned himself to more waiting and sighed, leaning his full weight against Chuuya. “I know.” He confirmed. “But not being able to do something about it sooner is still annoying.” Mori walked closer to him. “I suppose you’ll just have to do something else until then.” Dazai tilted his head. “And that is?”

The doctor thought about it for a while, then seemingly came to a conclusion. “I’ll be stuck here for three more days. Afterwards, I can return to the city and then we can figure out how to smuggle you into the new subject holding facility without having to actually get you guys caught.” Dazai’s brain halted at a specific part of this sentence. “Hold on- what do you mean, smuggle us into the new subject holding facility?” Mori offered a pained smile. “When I told you it’s not easy to get to where your memories are, I meant that, you know? They’re in the deepest parts of the archive which is located in said facility, hence the difficulty and the necessary planning.”

Chuuya groaned. “Of fucking course that is where they’re kept. Are you sure we can’t just tell him, Mori-san?” The doctor shook his head. “We could only tell him what we know at best. And those aren’t his memories, those are ours. But he needs his own memories if he wants to use them against the government. Especially considering he knows many things neither of us can even begin imagining. Not to mention that if we tell him, he has no 100% secure way of knowing what exactly happened. No matter how much he trusts or believes us.” Chuuya went silent at the response.

“...Alright then, but I want to come with him into that place.” The smaller boy spoke with conviction. “Of course you do.” Mori responded. “And I think you should. He’ll need a support system once his memories return and neither me nor any of your friends should get themselves in unnecessary danger. It’ll just attract unwanted attention. You two were always meant to be a perfect team of two. So that’s what you’ll be down there. I have faith in both of you. The rest of us will stand by and support you from the side.”

The new subject holding facility, hm? Dazai thought it to be kind of ironic. Odasaku had sent them away to ensure they wouldn’t be captured and brought there. Yet here they were, planning on going to the one place they were supposed to stay away from, all in order to make sure they’ll never be stuck in this place they were supposed to stay away from. To Dazai, it sounded like a bad joke.

“You needn’t worry, Dazai-kun. You won’t be prisoners. We’ll make sure of that. You’ll go in there, get what you need, and go right back out. Oda-kun’s sacrifice to save you won’t be in vain.” Mori reassured, squeezing his shoulder. The brunette tilted his head. “Speaking of, just how do you know so much about Odasaku, our friends and everything?” Mori hummed and took out his phone, pulling up a contact by the name ‘Yukichi Fukuzawa’ followed by a cat emoji.

“My dear friend and partner Mr. Fukuzawa has been updating me on your wellbeing ever since you first strolled into his agency.” Partner. Well, Dazai guessed the two of them did work together. “So you’re still in regular contact?” He asked. “Of course we are! Just because we no longer work on project Arahabaki together doesn’t mean we can’t still be close. We both strive for the same goal after all. Even if we do so in ways that differ.” There was a shadow in Mori’s expression. Sadness, regret, and even though he wasn’t showing much of it, Dazai still caught on.

“...Both of you intend to protect the subjects, despite all they’ve done to the country. And you want to show the country that not all of them belong into isolated cells where they spend their days going through experimentation and other stuff. That’s why the agency is filled with people with abilities. Right? And I assume you have a similar organization, or at least employ subjects as the detective agency does. Like Akutagawa. He told me he’d be classified as a highly dangerous subject that needs to be contained at all costs if it weren’t for you offering him a position working with him.” 

Mori’s eyes lit up. “That’d be correct. I do, indeed, employ subjects. Especially those with high danger classifications. That way they can avoid the worst of government containment and get a chance to prove that they don’t intend on hurting this country or the people in a way a lot of subjects did after they first escaped. You could say it’s a way for me to atone for working this atrocious government job in the first place. At least like this, I can hopefully prevent history such as you two from repeating itself.”

Dazai couldn’t deny that Mori was indeed doing something good, despite initially being just another face in the ranks of the scientists who caused subjects so much pain and suffering. He was trying to improve the system in his own way, step by step. And so was Fukuzawa.

“In the end, all of us have the same goal, don’t we? Letting everyone know that it’s not entirely our fault and that they should hold those accountable who they’ve been putting up on a pedestal as the saviors of the world.” Mori continued. “And you two, being at the heart of all of this, might be able to make a huge difference, we trust that. So please, allow my help in the matter.”

“Alright alright, we get it already. We’ll take your help.” Dazai responded. Mori grinned. “Here we go! In that case… I can’t wait to work with you again, boys.” And that was that.

“So… We’re just supposed to wait until you can leave this place?” Chuuya asked. Mori hummed in agreement. “Precisely. But you can use this waiting time however you please. Explore the crater, sit around somewhere, spend time at this beach. Just- Try to stay away from The Sheep, Chuuya-kun~ That would just complicate things.” Chuuya scoffed. “You really don’t gotta tell me that. ” Mori sighed. “I know- I know. Still, I can’t help being concerned about you. After all, we managed to keep you both away from the government all these years. When we sent you away, we had no sure way of knowing what's gonna happen to you. All we could really do was trust you. And in Dazai-kun’s case, Oda-kun as well. You know… We meant to reunite you and Chuuya-kun sooner. But then Chuuya-kun disappeared and we couldn’t do much. But I always believed you two would find each other again.”

Dazai squinted as the words processed. “Hold up. What do you mean, reuniting us sooner? Elaborate.” Mori offered a sad smile. “Fukuzawa-dono and I meant to send both of you to safety with some of our most trusted previous subjects. As we know, it worked with Dazai-kun. My partner rescued him from the middle of the destruction and handed him over to Oda-kun who then went on his way and took him away. It was orchestrated by me. It was I who told him to take you in and get as far away from the government as possible.” Dazai looked at him surprised. “Wait- does that mean–” 

Mori seemed to read his mind. “Exactly. Like you, Oda-kun is a subject. Though he was one forcefully employed by the government so he wasn’t trapped in the facility. Nonetheless, he was under my direct guardianship. Just as I was assigned your primary caretaker, I used to be assigned to him as well. In fact, he was the first ever subject I watched over when I started my job with the government. And even after he was deployed as an assassin-” Dazai nearly choked on this teeny tiny tidbit of information Odasaku never bothered telling him about. “-we remained on positive terms with each other. So I knew I could trust him when I needed a guardian to watch over you after you escaped.”

Dazai turned to look at the ground, contemplative. Oda was a subject? Then why had he never heard of that? Why did he not have a numbered code all subjects apparently had? He had so many questions, but his friend wasn’t there to answer them. Why did he have to get himself kidnapped?

“We intended on a similar procedure with Chuuya-kun. Just as we did with you, we wanted to leave him in the safe hands of two certain other trusted friends of mine. In fact, I believe you’ve met them already. Came here with them, even.” Something clicked in Dazai’s brain. Something that just- made sense. He looked up at Mori once more. “Rimbaud-san and Verlaine-san, I assume?” Mori smiled. “Smart as ever, kid. But as you know, our plan didn’t work out with Chuuya-kun.” Dazai looked over at his partner who had his head turned away, fists clenched. He looked… Almost remorseful. “And I assume something happened that caused this plan to fail?” The brunette inquired.

“That’s right.” A new voice interrupted. Dazai’s head snapped up to find Verlaine standing behind Mori. How in the world had he gotten there so quickly?! And how did he know where they were in the first place?! Well, the doctor, at least, seemed delighted at the man’s presence. “If it isn’t Paul!” He greeted him. “How have things been lately? I haven’t seen you in a bit.” The blond crossed his arms. “Well, you can probably guess things have been quite chaotic since we found these two. They truly make life more exciting. But I am indeed quite relieved to see that our dear Chuuya is alright, despite everything.”

Once again, Dazai felt as though everyone knew something he didn’t. Chuuya was still looking away and both the adults exchanged knowing glances, as though they were recalling the incident. And so, he decided to ask. “So, what happened with Chuuya? Why couldn’t you get him out the same way you did me?” At his side, the redhead tensed. Meanwhile Mori smirked the same teasing smirk he’d seen a few times by now.

“Our little Chuuya-kun here almost killed me, you know? When I tried getting him out the same way Fukuzawa-dono did with you. It was quite the sight to witness… Allow me to tell you about it.”

—

The level of destruction was quite magnificent. And despite how much danger everyone in this facility had been put in, Mori couldn’t help a sense of pride welling up in him. These were his subjects. The kids he helped raise. And they were finally fighting back against their abusers. 

It started with A0, back when the little boy somehow bypassed all security measures and stepped into his personal office shortly after A5158’s 5th birthday, asking him for a scalpel, as well as the exact locations of vital organs of the human body. And it escalated further and further, until now. Until the facility was no more, destroyed in A5158’s emotional fit of pure, unrestrained rage born from love and protectiveness.

Unfortunately, Mori didn’t have enough time to praise the kids to no end. He had to find A5158 first. A0 had already been taken away. Now it was only the small redhead left. Fortunately, it wasn’t difficult to locate the boy, as he hadn’t moved from his place in the middle once, uncaring of the raindrops that started falling from the sky. Mori hoped he was mostly alright, despite his use of corruption.

A5158 didn’t seem to notice him at first, much too busy staring into the void, looking incredibly lost. Mori felt horrible for him. Not only had corruption taken a toll on his body, he also still had to deal with the fact that his dear favorite person had his memories wiped.

“Chuuya-kun?” Mori tried, opting to use the boy’s real name rather than the code given to him. Usually, no one ever called subjects by their names. But Mori had made it a point to occasionally do so, just in an attempt to make them feel more human. Because that’s what they were: Humans. Humans saddled with what should’ve been considered a gift but was reduced to nothing more than a curse in the eyes of the government.

Chuuya’s head snapped around immediately. His face was expressionless. His blue eyes usually always held a spark of life. But right now, they looked just like A0 - Dazai - ‘s always did. Empty and without emotions. Not even a spark of recognition. None of that.

“I’m here to take you–” A sharp, loud pain shot through Mori’s entire body and it took him a moment to realize what it was. A kick. Right to his ribs. A kick powered by gravity, causing him to stumble a couple steps back. There, in front of him, stood Chuuya, body surrounded by the red glow of his ability. He was trembling, glaring at the doctor with barely suppressed tears in his eyes.

“You did this.” The boy’s voice was barely above a whisper. “All of you scientists, and doctors, curse all of you and your experiments and everything you stand for! You pushed him over the edge! You made him kill! And when you realized what you’ve done all you could think of was wiping his memories?! Why would you- Why–”

He was breathing heavily. Mori could only watch, clutching his sides with an arm. “Chuuya, calm down, I’m not a threat. I’m not the person who made this happen. I-” His sentence was once again cut off as the boy charged right at him, making the doctor yelp in pain. He swore he could feel and hear a crack in his chest, hissing as he barely managed to side-step the kid’s next attack. “Chuuya! I’m trying to help you!” He tried again, but to no avail.

“Help?! What help! You did nothing! You were standing by, watching it happen! And now look where we are! All of this is destroyed! And A0- He’s–” Chuuya’s voice cracked. “He tried to get to me- And I- I just- And now he’s gone! Tell me what it is I’m supposed to do without him!”

The ground under their feet was shaking. Craters were forming under the boy’s feet. Mori was worried he may activate corruption again. He couldn’t let that happen now. Not with Dazai being too far away to save his friend. He had to stay calm.

“I’ll take you to A0, I promise! He’s not gone! I just had him brought away to take him out of the danger zone!” But the boy didn’t seem like he wanted to listen. Instead, he lifted a large rock that had a very high possibility of squishing a human to death and sent it flying right at the doctor who threw himself out of the way, almost breaking down at the sharp pain shooting from his damaged ribs through his body.

“Don’t give me that! He’s dead! I- I killed him! When I woke up from corruption he was covered in blood and not breathing! He tried to save me and I just- I just–” His big blue eyes were rapidly filling with tears. Mori’s own eyes widened. Chuuya thought he had killed his friend?

“Chuuya. You did not kill him. He’s alright. He’ll be alright. Both of you will be alright.” Another rock flew right past him, though this one managed to hit his shoulder, causing him to bite his tongue in order not to scream. Dislocated. God, he was gonna need a doctor after this.

“Don’t give me that!” Chuuya yelled. “I don’t trust a word you say! I want A0! Right here and now! If he’s not dead then where is he?! Why would you take him away from me if he’s alive?! Bring him back you assholes! All of him! I want my best friend!”

It was at that moment that Mori realized the kid’s anger wasn’t solely directed at him, no. Chuuya merely needed a punching bag to vent all his pent-up frustrations with all the people who worked here. And he just happened to be conveniently there, a perfect target to throw boulders at.

Chuuya’s words also meant that he didn’t only want Dazai back physically. He wanted his memories too.

Now, the boy was barely holding himself together. He looked exhausted, sad, angry, all at once. And Mori knew he wouldn’t be able to hold himself upright much longer. Slowly, the man tried stepping closer to them, merely earning a death glare.

“O grantors of dark disgrace…”

Mori immediately stopped in his tracks, the moment Chuuya started speaking the first words of a chant that would end both of them if he dared continue. The kid’s hands balled into fists. “Leave me alone! Go away! Or I swear I will set Arahabaki free right here and now!” He threatened. And Mori, as much as he didn’t want to, believed him.

“Chuuya-kun-” He started once more, a futile attempt at reasoning with him. But the boy wouldn’t give in. Not one bit.

“Good. Stay away from me! I don’t want to see any of you and your white coats ever again!” He yelled loudly. And Mori couldn’t do anything but back further off. It was simply too high of a risk, with this kid having access to a suicidal weapon of mass destruction with nothing but a few words.

He backed off further and further, leaving the kid in the middle of the crater. And once a safe distance away, he saw the small silhouette break down crying. But there was nothing he could do to help. All he could do was watch. The rain intensified, until he could no longer see clearly. 

The doctor didn’t move from his spot, not even to take a look at his own injuries, completely losing track of time. Until finally, the rain lessened, leaving him soaked and in pain.

The spot where Chuuya had sat before was deserted, all traces of him gone. Like he had disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again. Like he’d never been there in the first place. And all Mori could recover was a battered code badge reading ‘A5158’, ripped straight from the subject’s hospital gown.

—

“...And that’s pretty much how that went down. Your friend almost killed me out of sheer anger and grief for you and then disappeared. Therefore I couldn’t send him to safety with Paul and Arthur.”

Dazai remained silent for a while, slowly peeking over at Chuuya. The redhead was trembling , he noted. Then he whispered some quiet words. “I- wasn’t thinking straight.” He tried to reason. Mori’s expression morphed into something sympathetic. “Oh don’t fret. I don’t blame you for how you reacted.” Chuuya sighed. “Still. I hurt you while all you ever did was try to help us.” Mori sighed and shook his head. “I’ve long since forgiven you, really. I’m just relieved you made it through.”

Dazai wagered his options. Verlaine was right there and the man still didn’t seem too fond of him being close to Chuuya. But then again: Chuuya looked like he was gonna have a panic attack any second. And so Dazai did the only thing he could think of and pulled his partner into his arms. “Shhh. I’ve got you.” 

Chuuya tensed for a moment, then relaxed into his hold. “...You’re so embarrassing, doin’ this shit in front of people like this.” The redhead mumbled. At that, Dazai merely squeezed him tighter. “I don’t care. You’re shaking.” And despite his protests, Chuuya ultimately allowed himself to melt into his embrace. The two adults watched them with quite contrasting expressions. One pleased, the other like he was about to murder someone (You can guess who’s who). But Dazai didn’t care. Though it did remind him of a question.

“Right. What are you doing here, Verlaine? Shouldn’t you be back at camp with the others?” Verlaine scoffed. “They actually sent me out to look where you disappeared to when they realized Chuuya vanished from our group without a trace a while after he excused himself to go give you a call. They’re all worried you ran off on your own to get yourself in trouble, considering we’re, y’know, in enemy territory and all. You two ought to be more careful! What if they find Chuuya-kun?!” Dazai nearly gave in and laughed. Verlaine sounded like a worried mom.

“Really funny, brat. Really funny.” The blond responded to his almost-laughter. “Imagine my surprise when I found you guys messing around at the beach with Mori of all people! Could’ve at least told us where you were going and spare us the concern.” Dazai smiled sweetly. “Sorry mom!” Verlaine looked even more like he wanted to kill someone. But the small, muffled chuckle Chuuya pressed against Dazai’s clothes where he held him close was absolutely worth it.

“Still. I think we should return to our camp. It’s getting late and we’re gonna need some rest if we plan on staying out here in the heat until Mori-san can leave with us.” Chuuya’s brother spoke. Dazai tilted his head. “How much did you hear?” The man shrugged. “Almost everything from when you stepped into this cavern up until now. You just didn’t notice me. That being said: I can’t exactly approve of a plan that puts my dear little brother in danger of being caught by the government. Is there really no other way to retrieve the idiot’s memory?”

Mori shook his head. “None that is easy and quick enough, I fear. But we’ll make sure we plan it carefully. I care about these two as well, remember? I don’t want them captured either. But we’ll figure that out.” He turned and strolled towards the cavern entrance to leave. “As much as I appreciate this little chat… Paul here is right. All of us could use some sleep. So let’s follow his request and return, alright? I'm sure we’ll have plenty of time for more meetings like this from now on.”

Dazai would never admit it, but he did feel a little tired. The summer heat of the day was probably partially at fault that he just wanted to curl into Chuuya’s side and get some rest right now. Reluctantly, he released his partner from his arms. “Alright, back to the camp it is.” Then, the two of them followed the adults. …until Dazai remembered a certain thing.

“Oh and- by the way, Chuuya?” The other teen tilted his head and stared at him. “What.” 

Dazai took a deep breath. He was really gonna do this now was he? He then skipped over, closer to his Chibi. “Since we’re at this beach…”

Doing his best to control his heartbeat and keep it nice and slow and definitely not nervous, he leaned forward to place a delicate kiss on Chuuya’s lips.

“Payback~ For when we were little~”

Then he swiftly rushed ahead, not allowing his partner enough time to properly react. He had already passed Mori and Verlaine (who was definitely gonna end him) when Chuuya finally seemed to process what just happened.

“HAH?!”

Chapter Text

“Osamu Dazai when I catch you!” A certain blond-haired overprotective french guy yelled, chasing the teen around the camp. Chuuya watched with great amusement, though he was also still a little dazed from the kiss Dazai had given him earlier. How dare this idiot just do that without warning him first! Sure, Chuuya clearly remembered that first time he’d given Dazai a kiss when they were four. Sure, it was just ‘payback’ as Dazai called it. But still!

“…What did he do?” Rimbaud asked, exasperated. “He kissed Chuuya.” Mori casually responded. Rimbaud fell into a loud coughing fit and Ranpo spit out his drink. Meanwhile Poe looked like he was fearing for Dazai’s life.

Mori was hanging out at their camp, a morning after reuniting with Dazai and Chuuya. Chuuya didn’t know whether The Sheep wondered about the doctor’s whereabouts but he was just- here now.

“Wait wait wait wait wait. What do you mean, he kissed Chuuya?!” Ranpo asked, leaning forward, eager for gossip. Chuuya found himself blushing and buried his face behind his hands with a groan. “He was just fucking around…” He mumbled. “When we were little, at this beach, I gave him a kiss. He just wanted to return the favor. Nothing more.” All the people sitting around him sent him an unimpressed stare. Chuuya didn’t know why (He did. He just didn’t know if he was ready to consider the possibility of Dazai returning his feelings).

Rimbaud sighed, watching as Dazai narrowly escaped Verlaine’s grip once more. “…And I assume my dear husband saw?” Chuuya gave a small nod. “Alright, looks like Dazai’s dead.” Ranpo said. “Hey! I’ll have you know I survived much more than this— AH- DON’T KILL ME!” Dazai tried to speak, he did, but unfortunately that ended with Verlaine catching him in a headlock and grinding his knuckles in Dazai’s skull, making him whine. Chuuya couldn’t help but laugh.

When Verlaine was done with him, Dazai wobbled over to the group, faceplanting into Chuuya’s lap. Chuuya scoffed as he gently patted his partner’s hair. “Aw, poor baby~ can’t take a little roughness?” He teased. Dazai groaned and flipped him off before burying further against the other teen, much to Verlaine’s dismay. “I’m a wounded man, Chibi! How dare you be mean to me!” He complained with a whine. “Weak.” Chuuya responded.

“It’s quite nice to see that you two still get along so well.” Mori noted, watching them with amusement clearly written all over his face. Chuuya glared at the doctor, but he had a feeling he didn’t look too intimidating just about now. Not with the stupid Mackerel clinging onto his waist like his life depended on it. …Judging by Verlaine’s look, his life might actually depend on it.

“That reminds me: Boys, I’ve told The Sheep that Dazai-kun, Akutagawa-kun and I are on search duty today. So you’re free to walk around without having to worry too much about them seeing you. Akutagawa will follow you around and tell you in case any of them are close.” Mori spoke. Along with his words, the kid with the black coat, Akutagawa, appeared out of nowhere, just like a phantom. Dazai had apparently met him before. Mori’s guard, or something. A kid rescued from the government. Chuuya felt sympathy for the younger boy, considering his own familiarity with being an experiment.

“Come on Chuuya! Let’s go!” Suddenly, Dazai’s energy seemed to return at once and he sprung up from the other’s lap, dragging him up with him. Chuuya yelped at the sudden pull on his arm. God. For looking like a fucking twig, Dazai certainly had strength in him. Much more than he usually did back then, when they were kids. But Chuuya didn’t mind being pulled along.

As Dazai led them somewhere, Chuuya wasn’t exactly sure where, he found himself zoning out to a point not even Verlaine’s protests were getting through to him anymore. Dazai was pulling him along, a small smile on his face. Dazai smiled a lot more now, Chuuya noted. He looked happier than when he was a kid, his eyes still didn’t glow with life now, but they were certainly brighter, less dead inside. 

He also wasn’t wearing his face bandages anymore.

Chuuya had known that Dazai had two healthy eyes before the bandages disappeared. He had known what he looked like with both eyes free when they were kids. After all, he didn’t start bandaging his face until a little while after they were put together for the first time. And Chuuya had always considered Dazai’s eyes to be beautiful.

Dazai had heterochromia. It wasn’t too noticeable unless you look at him a little closer, but his right eye was a deep, dark, red color while his left was brown. When they were four, Dazai once told him the scientists called him a monster for his eye color. That only a demon’s eyes would look like this. And that was the reason why he liked to cover it. Chuuya would’ve loved to protest back then, but at that point he was still too shy to be honest about how he felt about Dazai. 

Already back then, Chuuya loved Dazai’s eyes. Loved the way they seemed to stare right into his soul whenever he looked at him, loved the way his right eye would sparkle red whenever he was angry or wanted to disagree with one of the scientists.

…He also loved the way blood reflected in them when seven year old Dazai held up a dripping red scalpel And threatened to kill every last employee of the lab if they continued hurting Chuuya.

So yea, Chuuya was pretty damn thankful that Oda had taken off Dazai’s face bandages and he kept them that way.

“Where are we going, and why are you so desperate to drag me along like this you shitty Mackerel?” Chuuya asked. Dazai grinned. “I don’t care! Just somewhere I guess!” And Chuuya knew he would follow him anywhere, rolling his eyes, freeing himself from the other boy’s downright painful grip and walking at his side, perfectly in sync, as it always had been. It was hot, and Dazai’s body warmth right next to his own wasn’t making much better, but Chuuya wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.

At this point, he’s had enough time to grow accustomed to the fact that this was really happening. That Dazai, A0, was here, with him, alive and alright. That they could walk side by side again. And that this time, there weren’t any scientists monitoring their every breath. They were free. Free and together. And it was all Chuuya ever wished for any more.

“A0?” A5158 asked his friend as they were staring up at the sky above their heads. They were at the beach again, far away from all the pain and experiments, with Dr. Mori and Dr. Fukuzawa talking in hushed voices in the distance. Seagulls were flying through the air, their squawks accompanying the gentle sound of the wind and the waves. It was a beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, with a bright blue sky.

“Hm, Chibi?” A0 asked back. ‘Chibi’. It was his nickname for him. A nickname the brunette thought of because he was getting tired of calling him by his number code all the time. ‘Because you’re tiny and cute’, he once said. A5158 loved it, though he’d never admit that.

“Do you think we’ll ever get out of here?” He asked. A0 hummed in contemplation, then a pair of bandaged arms snuck around A5158’s body, pulling him in a hug. A5158 melted into the embrace. The god, Arahabaki, was always loud in his mind, begging to be released, begging for destruction, begging for the boy to give up his life and let him run free. But with A0’s touch, his mind was so beautifully silent, A5158 wouldn’t know what to do if his companion ever were to disappear from his side.

“One day, I’ll make sure we can be free.” A0 mumbled. A5158’s eyes widened and his head snapped up to look at his friend who had a determined look on his face. “You mean that?” The redhead asked. The other nodded and his expression softened. “I promise, Chibi. One day, we’ll be free. And if I have to fight this entire facility and the government all on my own to do that, I will. I wanna witness more of the world. And I wanna do it with you by my side. There are so many places out there we haven’t seen yet. And so many more we have never even heard of. And I’m not letting these stupid experiments get in the way of us choosing our own future.”

And of course A5158 knew how dangerous that might be, how much could go wrong, but he also believed it. He believed in A0. Because A0 was smart and strong, and A5158 would stay with him throughout it all, no matter what the world might throw at them.

“How long do you think it's gonna take, until we’re free?” A5158 asked. A0 seemed to think about his words carefully, then offered a small smile and ruffled the other boy’s red hair. “Give me ten years max, and I’ll figure something out.

Ten years. They’d be 15, then. And A5158 genuinely hoped and believed they would make it.

“Chibi! Earth to Chibi! You alive?” Chuuya was snapped out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. They had stopped. A0’s young face vanished from his line of sight to be replaced by the same, now 15 year old, idiot who was giving him a mildly concerned look, waving a hand in front of his face. 15, hm? Let’s see if you can keep our promise, partner.  

Chuuya shook his head. “I just zoned out, I’m good.” Dazai smirked. “What were you thinking about? You looked pretty damn happy for a second!” Chuuya glared at him, feeling his cheeks heat up. Shitty Dazai and his shitty, annoyingly attractive smirk. A smirk Chuuya could never get tired of.

“Nothing of importance. Anyway. Where are we?” Chuuya looked around, they were in the middle of the ruins. Honestly, he hadn’t paid any attention to their surroundings at all, allowing the other boy to lead him along. “Nowhere of importance!~” Dazai teased and Chuuya had to suppress the urge to punch him in the face right then and there. Dazai snickered and gave him a look that told Chuuya that he knew exactly how close he was to losing the battle to his ‘punch Dazai for every shitty comment’ demons.

“Really tho, we’re just- somewhere. But you zoned out and I had to check if you were still in the realm of the living~” Chuuya sent him a mild glare and reached for his hand, squeezing it just a little (a lot) tighter than necessary, making Dazai whine. “Such a brute! You’re so mean to me Chuuya! I thought you loved me!” Chuuya smiled at him innocently. This fucking brat. “I really don’t love you, actually.” (He totally does. Fuck off. Dazai doesn’t have to know that.)

Dazai sighed and leaned against a wall. “Oh the pain… Oh the suffering… My dearest Chibi hates me…” He lamented, like this was the end of the world. Chuuya couldn’t help the amused snort escaping him. God this guy was so fucking dumb. And the worst thing about it: He’d been right, earlier. Chuuya really did love him a lot. Dazai was a dumbass, but he was his dumbass.

Yea, fine, Chuuya could admit his feelings for Dazai. He wasn’t that oblivious to his own emotions, and he wasn’t in denial either. Quite the opposite, actually.

Chuuya had always known he loved Dazai. Already dating as far back as their days as kids. Now, Chuuya never had any opportunities to compare his feelings for Dazai to his feelings towards other people as back then, he didn’t exactly have any friends besides Dazai. Well, Dr. Mori and Dr. Fukuzawa were there. But those two were different. He had, however, read some romance novels when he was little. Reading was one of the few things they were allowed to do in their cells. And from what he knew, they’d been given any type of books as long as these books didn’t contradict the government’s opinion in any way, shape or form. Therefore, there were cute romance novels as well. And while those novels obviously were hallmark levels of shitty and predictable (Girl meets guy, falls in love with him, they date, some shitty drama happens, they break up, they talk things out, they get back together, they live happily ever after), he could always relate his own feelings towards Dazai with what these books described about love.

So yea, Chuuya was in love with Dazai. Had been since they were little. But obviously, their lives were much more complicated than those hallmark-esque romance novels.

Now, Chuuya wasn’t blind or oblivious. He knew that Dazai most likely returned his feelings. The way they acted with each other, the way Dazai would get embarrassed or blush, the way he treated Chuuya, the way he didn’t mind their proximity, encouraged it even, all the signs pointed towards a mutual crush. But it wasn’t that easy.

“I think I might have a crush on you, Chibi~”

“You what?!”

Because they had talked about this before when they were seven, shortly before disaster struck. But it had been in an innocent, childish way, and so much has happened since. And now Dazai had amnesia and Chuuya didn’t know how to go about this whole thing.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Chibi? You’re zoning out a lot today.” Dazai asked. Chuuya shook his head again. Really, he had to stop getting lost in thoughts. “I’m just thinking about lots of stuff you’ll eventually remember and how you’re gonna react. You really don’t gotta worry.” Dazai gave him a skeptical look. Then he seemingly came to a conclusion and his eyes widened. “Wait. Are you still stuck on the kiss?” He asked. And there it was, once more, Chuuya was blushing again. “...Shut up.” He said.

Dazai stepped closer and placed his hands on Chuuya’s cheeks softly. “Was I not supposed to do that? Did you not want me to do that?” The bandaged boy asked. Chuuya’s eyes widened even more and he rapidly shook his head no. “No- You’re fine. I didn’t mind. As you said: It was just payback for what I did back when we were kids. Just- stop fuckin’ worrying about it too much, Mackerel. Your brain is gonna explode at this point.” Dazai didn’t seem satisfied with the response, but he didn’t prod further, letting the topic go.

See, Chuuya could confess right here. He could tell him about the talk they had. But it just wasn’t that easy. If Dazai was gonna agree to dating him, Chuuya wanted it to be on the brunette’s own terms. He didn’t want Dazai to agree just because Chuuya told him about their little conversation from when they were children. He didn’t want Dazai to agree out of obligation or because he felt like he owed something to Chuuya for forgetting so many important things. He wanted Dazai to date him because of his own feelings, not because of an ambiguous conversation in their past that he didn’t even remember yet.

Dazai needed his memories back, and then he’d have to make his own decision based on those and his current feelings. Chuuya was not going to take advantage of him and his confusion. He could wait. He had waited for eight years already without knowing if his partner was even alive. What was another couple of days or weeks until Dazai remembered? For now, he had to force these thoughts aside.

“Did you already think of a plan on how to proceed once we get into that new facility?” Chuuya eventually asked. And there he went, avoiding the topic of feelings for now by talking about their insane plan. Smooth, Chuuya. Real smooth. He’s definitely not gonna be suspicious of that. But Dazai didn’t seem to mind the sudden change in topic. All he did was jump into his thinking mode.

“I exchanged some information with Mori-san this morning. He isn’t actively working there, but he still has some info on the place. Wanna hear?” Chuuya nodded and the two boys strolled over to a spot in the shade where they’d be safe from the sun while they talked. Dazai pulled out his phone and opened a PDF titled ‘Facility_Layout’. And lo and behold: A full fucking plan of the facility.

“What the heck, Dazai?! How’d you get this?” Chuuya was baffled. The plan had multiple pages, detailing every floor and its rooms. Dazai grinned. “The information Mori-san gave me! A full floor plan that’ll show us exactly where we gotta go!” Chuuya snatched the phone and took a closer look. It seemed as though this new facility was much bigger than the old one, but it still had the same type of rooms from what he could tell. Cells, laboratories, torture chambers (The experiment rooms), D-3-Cells, staff rooms, but also shit like a courtyard and a cafeteria. Things they never had in the old facility, not to Chuuya’s knowledge, at least.

“Damn. Mori-san really just gave you a whole ass map.” Dazai nodded and took his phone back. “Since he doesn’t work at the facility, he can’t tell us the exact schedules of when what happens, we’ll have to figure that out ourselves. But with his rank he still has access to the floor plans and stuff so he gave me what he could. We’ll have to see about the rest. But we can figure it out, I’m sure!”

“Uhm- Dazai-san, Chuuya-san?” A quiet voice asked from behind them. Chuuya turned over to look at Akutagawa. The boy looked like he had something to say. “Akutagawa-kun? Are we in danger?” Dazai asked. Akutagawa shook his head and walked closer to them. “No. But I overheard that you plan on infiltrating the new facility and wanted to offer my assistance.” 

Chuuya stared at him and shook his head. “We can’t take you with us. It’s dangerous and I don’t wanna risk dragging anyone into this mess. Weren’t you rescued by Mori-san? We’re not letting you walk right back into danger.” Akutagawa sighed and stepped closer, sitting down next to them. “I’m not asking to come with you. But as you said: I was rescued from this facility by Mori-san. Therefore I can tell you about some of the routines. My sister and I spent our whole lives there up until Mori-san got us out about a year ago.”

Right. Akutagawa could have some valuable insider information. Chuuya exchanged glances with Dazai who immediately nodded and turned his full attention to the younger boy. “Tell us all about it then.” He requested, pulling up a notes app to write down what he would tell them..

“First of all, we started every morning with breakfast in the cafeteria. There was a set-in-stone menu for each and every one of us and we didn’t get to choose. We had to eat everything, or they wouldn’t let us leave. They even force-fed those who refused their meals. Then we’d be taken for whatever they planned for our mornings. Then nap time. Then lunch, same as breakfast, then an hour long break to play games and talk to others. Then more appointments or experiments, then dinner, and then we had to sleep. They even injected us with some sleeping medicine for the nap times and the nights so we’d be forced to rest. It was the same thing every day, over and over again. But it felt strange. It wasn’t just days blurring into one due to the monotony. There’s… Something weird about that place.”

Chuuya remained silent. Something weird? What was happening in that facility? Dazai seemingly thought the same thing. As always. Maybe Ranpo was right whenever he mentioned their coordinated brain cells. “Something weird? Please, elaborate.” Akutagawa nodded and seemed to think of a way to formulate what was happening. Then he spoke again.

“The experiments… They were horrifying and cruel and would leave all the subjects in the facility to walk around like they’re zombies. They would look sad and tired. Like corpses, but they’re standing upright. But then, every single time they woke up, whether after a nap, or in the mornings, they’d all look incredibly happy. Then they’d spend breakfast or lunch and the afternoon free time talking about how amazing the facility is and how they’re having so much fun living there, like they completely forgot about the torture they were put through. They’d also talk about the same conversation topics every day, like they haven’t heard everything thousands of times already. The only time in the day where they actually eat food while in a terrible state, is dinner. But whenever I’d ask them the next day if they’ve recovered from their exhaustion and pain during dinner, they’d insist that there was no such thing as dinner.”

Well. That was certainly something. Akutagawa looked down. He visibly didn’t enjoy talking about the topic. Chuuya was pretty damn proud he even started it though.

“Gin’s affected by that strange amnesia too.” Akutagawa then mumbled quietly. Both older teens listened up immediately. “Oh?” Akutagawa nodded. “Yes. She could never remember the horrible experiments we were put through, even though she was right there with me all the time. I… Never reminded her of them. I didn’t want her to suffer. She’s still confused as to why we had to be rescued in the first place. She, as all these other subjects, thought of the facility as an amazing and happy place. I still haven’t managed to tell her the truth.”

Chuuya understood why Akutagawa wouldn’t want to remind his sister of the experiments, he really did. If they were even half as bad as the shit he and Dazai had been through, he’d probably be just fine forgetting about them. Still, the younger boy seemed like he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t tell Gin the truth.

“Alright so, to sum it up: There’s something weird happening in the facility that makes most people forget about the experiments and treat it like it’s the most awesome place in the world. But whatever it is, it didn’t work on you?” Dazai asked. Akutagawa nodded. “Was there anything about yourself that you noticed was different from the subjects that are affected?” Chuuya asked. To that, Akutagawa shook his head. “Not that I know of. My apologies.” The boy seemed exhausted, like merely talking about it made him tired.

“Don’t apologize, Akutagawa-kun. Thanks for the help.” Dazai spoke. “You're welcome.” The younger male responded. Dazai looked over at Chuuya. “Looks like there’s a mystery for us to figure out, don’t you think?” Chuuya responded with a nod, taking Dazai’s phone to go over his notes again. “We’ll look into it, considering we’re already going there to retrieve Dazai’s memories.”

At that, his partner seemed to have a certain thought and he looked at Chuuya with wide eyes. “Hold on. Maybe these subjects are affected by something similar to my own amnesia?” He suggested. Chuuya sat up straight immediately. “You think…” He began. “...that they might be using a similar method to keep the subjects under control. Maybe we’ll even find their missing memories where mine are as well.” It made a lot of sense. Looks like they had a lead, at least.

“Still.” Chuuya mused. “We should try and figure out why Akutagawa isn’t affected by whatever method they used. Let’s write that on our to-do list.” He then added it to Dazai’s notes.

“There’s… Someone else, too.” Akutagawa mentioned. The two older teens looked at him again. Akutagawa continued. “He’s like me. He’s not affected by amnesia. I think he might still be stuck in the facility. Am I allowed to make a request for your investigation?” Chuuya and Dazai nodded in tandem, giving him the ‘go ahead. Akutagawa took a deep breath and looked up at them, his eyes suddenly just a little brighter and more clear. “Can you look for him? I’m sure he can be of help to you as well. He’s a little younger than me, I think. Light gray hair, horrible haircut. I don’t know his name, and I don’t remember his code. But I’m sure that it’s either you two who find him, or him who finds you. Mori-san, he- he told me that he’d rescue him as well if we manage to find him. Even just getting his real name or his code would be enough.”

Dazai and Chuuya exchanged glances, then Chuuya smiled. “‘Course we can look for him. You can count on us, Akutagawa.” The boy seemed satisfied with that. “Thank you, Dazai-san, Chuuya-san.” And with that, he stood up, seemingly returning to his duty of watching out for danger.

“Alright, let’s add ‘Saving Akutagawa’s friend’ to the list as well.” Chuuya said as he typed it out. Dazai scooted closer so they could both look at the phone.

“...Pretty sure we’ll have a hard time sneaking in. It looks like it’s protected by quite a lot of special mechanisms. Breaking in won’t do either. We gotta be stealthy.” Chuuya mumbled out loud. “I’ve got an idea.” Dazai said. And of course he did. Of course Dazai would have an idea ready. “Elaborate?” Chuuya asked. Dazai grinned. “How do you feel about posing as a captured subject?”

—

They returned to the camp after Dazai explained his idea in detail. It was a crazy plan, and Chuuya had no idea if it would actually work, but maybe the fact that it was a little insane meant that it could work out.

“Hey boys!” Rimbaud greeted them with a wave. Verlaine immediately walked towards him and leaned down, closer to Chuuya. “Did he do something again?” He asked in a hushed voice, making Chuuya blush once again at the memory of the kiss. But he shook his head. “No, he didn’t. I’m perfectly fine.” He said. Verlaine still looked a little suspicious, but he dropped the topic for now. “Did you come up with a plan for what to do next then?” He asked instead. Chuuya nodded over towards Dazai who was currently explaining their idea to the rest of the group.

“...And so we’ll get in there under the disguise of two subjects and blend in with the crowd. That’ll give us room to investigate.” Mori nodded along with Dazai’s explanation. “We only need someone with a high enough rank to bring you guys in then. Master Poe here may be high-ranked, but he still belongs to an international organization and therefore can’t bring you any further than the front gates. You’ll need someone who’s directly affiliated with the Japanese government. I could get you in, but it would probably be suspicious if I were to show up with two young boys who look eerily similar to my assigned Arahabaki Project subjects. Plus: It would be strange if I were to bring in any subjects, as I usually only take subjects from the facility so they can work with me.” He said. 

Chuuya looked in between Mori and Dazai. He couldn’t decide whether he hated or liked the fact that these two were on the same wavelength regarding insane plans. Then again, he wasn’t surprised. After all, Mori was the one who taught Dazai a lot of things about strategic thinking and planning. Dazai was Mori’s little prodigy. His kid who he’d gladly pass all his knowledge on to. Sure, he liked and cared about Chuuya as well. But the doctor has always had more of a direct connection to Dazai. Probably ‘cause they were both genius levels of smart.

“I actually have an idea. A friend of Odasaku works directly with the government. He helped us when we first got to the city, I’m sure he’d help us with this as well.” Dazai said. Mori hummed. “Ango Sakaguchi? Yea, that could certainly work.” Dazai nodded. “Exactly. He should have the necessary permits. So?”

“It’s actually perfect!” Ranpo chimed in. “Ango-san often deals with subject transfers. And I heard that he’s in especially active contact with the facility right now and dealing with some things! I’ll call him right away. Dazai sent Chuuya a triumphant grin. And Chuuya realized that this was gonna be his life now. Follow Dazai’s idiotic ideas in their pursuit of true freedom. And if he was being honest, he really didn’t mind it that much.

After all, they did make a promise when they were five. A promise Dazai would hopefully remember soon. And neither of them would stop until they reached what they were aiming for.

—

=== Meanwhile, somewhere else===

A young boy, no older than 12, listlessly stared down at his food. He knew he should eat, knew that it was necessary, that the experiments would be easier if he had a full stomach, but he simply couldn’t. The mere thought made him feel sick already.

It was another day in hell, as he’d call it. Hell to him, heaven to most of the other people here. But only because they didn’t remember the pain they were being put through. They only remembered the nice parts of the day. Food, games, talks with friends, even though they’d never remember details, leading to them having the same conversations day by day again, like it was all new.

He listened. He wished his ears weren’t as good as they were. Because then he wouldn’t have to hear the subjects at the next table talking about how exciting a game UNO was for the probably 500th day in a row.

“You need to eat.” A small voice came from his side. “Please, Atsushi.” The boy, Atsushi, looked over at the person the voice had come from. A young girl, merely eight years old and already exhausted. Long, black hair, tired, blue eyes. “I know, Kyouka-chan. He mumbled quietly. “But just looking at the food makes me want to throw up.” He couldn’t eat the same food for yet another day. He just couldn’t. Kyouka looked around, then switched her own meal with Atsushi’s. “Here. Maybe that makes it better.” And, yes, it was better, making him finally take a bite of the food.

Kyouka was one of the few people who called him by his real name. Most of the scientists called him ‘Weretiger’. Most of the other subjects didn’t go out of their way to talk to him in the first place. To them, he was just the weird kid who looked ‘way too gloomy for such an awesome place’. Well, he wasn’t gloomy, he just wasn’t about to jump up and down in happiness day by day because he was getting tortured, but the other subjects didn’t know that. They didn’t know about the torture. They didn’t remember it. They didn’t remember anything besides ‘this place is perfect’.

Kyouka did, though.

“Having trouble eating again?” Another familiar kid’s voice.

Q did, too.

“Would you like to try some of my food as well, Atsushi-kun?

And yes. That man did, too.

But they were the only ones.

“Thanks, I’m fine.” Atsushi tried to smile. “Kyouka already gave me some of hers. You just eat yours as well.” He said. The only adult of their group, the man sitting across from him, reached out and gently patted his head. The pats felt nice, reassuring. His whole presence had something reassuring, despite the fact that he hadn’t been here for too long.

“But still, thank you, Oda-san.”

—

They were a special group of four. Oda, Q, Kyouka, and Atsushi himself. They were the only ones who seemed immune to the constant spell of amnesia hanging over all these subjects. 

Atsushi had been stuck in the facility basically his entire life. He did live through the destruction of the old facility. But at that point, he’d been barely four years old and weakened from the sheer force of the calamity so he couldn’t flee and was basically immediately captured and brought into this new place. He didn’t exactly remember what happened, he just remembered that he was saved from the worst of the event by black tendrils that safely wrapped around him to protect him. Black tendrils that belonged to another boy, though that boy had disappeared from the facility about a year ago.

Atsushi knew that Q had also been stuck here their whole life, though they were merely seven, born a year after the catastrophe and contained immediately

Kyouka had been brought into the facility three years ago when she was five, forced into containment after she inherited her ability from her mother.

Oda was another story. The man hadn’t told them much about his life, but he’d only been here for a few weeks, despite being a 26 year old adult. He also wasn’t being subjected to experiments, nor to whatever triggered the amnesia. He was just sort of- there. But he seemed overly aware of the subjects and their circumstances. He was quite desperate to leave, claiming he had kids to take care of, and said he’d only be here temporarily and that he was waiting for someone special to get him out. And so, for now, as he waited, he had taken it upon himself to watch over the three children who remembered every moment of their suffering.

“Look at them having fun. Like they’re not gonna be brought to the experiment rooms later.” Atsushi mumbled. The group was sitting down in a corner of the lunch break courtyard. Kids were running around, adults were talking animatedly, people of various ages were playing games or enjoying the weather. One would think this was a completely normal park on a completely normal afternoon out in a completely normal world.

“And later today, we’ll see all of them in pain during dinner. And then, tomorrow when they wake up, they’ll act like nothing happened.” Kyouka spoke quietly in return. Oda looked up from where he was playing with Q and some plushies. “I have a feeling it won’t be long now, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be free soon enough. That includes you three as well.

Q looked up, hugging their doll. “Oda-san, who exactly is this person that will come rescue us, and how are they even going to help us?” They asked. Oda smiled fondly. “He’s someone special. And he always finds a way to figure things out. A kid, much like you, though a bit older, who suffered at the hand of the government and the scientists. He and his friend will come here to find something, and we all can figure out a way to escape with them.

“What makes you sure he’s actually going to rescue us? Couldn’t he just get what he’s looking for and leave us behind?” Kyouka asked. Oda thoughtfully stared down at a brown-white cat plushy he was holding. “I just know. And I trust him. So believe in him along with me, okay?” The man asked. “Okay.” The three kids responded in sync.

Atsushi hugged his legs to his chest.

Please come find us soon, Oda-san’s friend. I don’t know how much longer Any of us can take this before we break.

Chapter Text

“You want to get into the new facility?” Ango asked, voice calm. “Yes we do.” Dazai said, looking down at Ranpo’s phone. They were on a facetime call with the government official. Ango hummed, contemplative. “But isn’t that anticlimactic? You were freed from the facility during the destruction and now you want to go back on your own terms? What kind of plan is that?” Dazai sighed, he had expected the resistance. After all, Oda did basically sacrifice himself to ensure they wouldn’t have to go back into the government lab and now they were going there by choice.

“I know it sounds insane.” Chuuya said, hooking his chin over Dazai’s shoulder and staring down at the phone screen. “But if we want to expose the government and make them pay, Dazai needs his memories back. And this new facility is where said memories are stored.” Ango sighed and nodded. “I understand. If it’s necessary, I’ll do my best to help. Five days from now I am going to visit the facility for something work related. I can bring you with me when I go. But you need to be careful. Oda did not throw himself at the guards trying to capture you just for you two to get stuck in that place anyway.”

Well, Dazai for sure was not gonna let that happen. “We’ll go in, get my memories, and get back out. Don’t worry. We’re not letting ourselves get captured. We’ve already got a plan ready.” He said. Ango listened carefully and nodded along. “Well, Oda did tell me you were an incredibly smart kid. So I trust his judgment. Alright, you can count on my help. I’ll send the details to Ranpo-san later.”

The call was overall pretty short, but Ango was quite busy and couldn’t stay on the line for long. Still, they had gotten the help they requested and so they left him to his work. Once they hung up, Dazai and Chuuya smirked at each other, high-fiving in triumph. They were one step closer to Dazai’s memories.

“Alright, we’ve got five days to prepare, so what’s our next step?” Ranpo asked. Dazai and Chuuya exchanged a look and Chuuya spoke up. “Dazai’s gonna go back to the Sheep’s camp and talk to Akutagawa’s sister to hopefully figure out more about the whole amnesia situation.” Akutagawa, who had been dutifully standing guard, whipped around to look at them. “Do you mean-” Dazai cut him off. “I’m not telling her about the experiments. I just want to ask her some questions about how she perceived the circumstances of your time in the lab. Maybe she can give us a hint as to what these people do to make subjects lose their memories. I doubt anyone aside from Mori and Akutagawa want to come with me?”

“I will.” Rimbaud stated. Dazai looked at him surprised. “Wait what?” Rimbaud got up and nodded. “Yes. I need to talk to you about something regardless. In private.” Dazai was a little confused, but he didn't mind. If the guy wouldn't tell him while they were with the others, he probably had a good reason. “Alright, guess Rimbaud-san’s coming along then. Anyone else?” No one responded, and that was that.

“Be careful over there.” Chuuya spoke as they were about to leave. “And you better fucking keep me updated.” Dazai snickered at Chuuya's protective demeanor. “Yes, mom , I'll stay safe. Don't worry about me.” Chuuya sent him a withering glare, then sighed and looked down. “I just don't want anything to happen to you, dumbass.” Dazai softened slightly. “And nothing's gonna happen, Chibi. I'll be alright.” Chuuya grumbled something and Dazai could barely understand him, but the message was clear. ‘If anything happens to you, I'll kick your ass'.

They didn't have much time for goodbyes as Mori's presence was requested at The Sheep’s camp. And so Dazai merely pressed a kiss to Chuuya's cheek (probably giving Verlaine another heart attack) and left with a wave, leaving a freshly flustered Chibi behind who yelled profanities after him.

“I already told Gin that you're coming and that you have a few questions, Dazai-san.” Akutagawa said, rushing to fall in step next to him. “I cannot promise that she will be able to answer everything, but I told her that you are trustworthy so she should tell you everything she knows.” Dazai nodded, absent-mindedly, already going through a mental list of things he'd like to know. “Thanks, Akutagawa-kun.” And with that, the younger teen left to go ahead, once again taking up his position of watching out for potential danger. 

Dazai looked over to Mori and Rimbaud. The two looked to be rather busy with their talk and he moved closer to listen in. Turns out that might've been a good idea considering he heard his name being spoken. And so he remained silent and followed their conversation.

“He should know some things at least, Mori-sensei. We can't just keep Dazai-kun in the dark about everything. His life is chaotic enough as is, he doesn't need us keeping secrets from him, no matter how dark they are.” Mori sighed in response and looked at the ground. “I know, I know. But he's just a kid. He shouldn't have to concern himself with these matters.” Rimbaud tilted his head to look directly at the doctor. “But isn't he going to regain his memories regardless? That's already a goal that's been set in stone and–” Mori interrupted him. “And that's precisely why we can't burden him with even more issues right now. It'll be too much.”

Dazai once again had no idea what they were talking about. Though it did sound kind of super important. Strange. If it was about him, they should just tell him. He had a feeling Mori was just a little too careful. With him. Still, they hadn’t stopped talking, so he wouldn’t stop listening.

“I know you want to protect him. But there are some things he’d be better off knowing so he could plan more efficiently. He’s trying to figure things out, but he can’t do that if you keep treating him like he’s made of glass. He went through a lot, I get that. And I get that you don’t want to pressure him with things that shouldn’t be his to deal with. But he needs to know these things too. Back when he and Chuuya first got to Yokohama and met the agency, he was already being pushed around with that elaborate plan you made. And while I’m sure he thanks you for your help, there are some things he has to do on his own so he can feel like he’s got actual control over his life and actions.”

Mori took a deep breath and nodded at Rimbaud’s words. “Just- give it some time. I wouldn’t even know how to tell him.” The doctor spoke. “Well then, do tell him soon or I will do it instead. For now, at least allow me to give him some clarity on parts of the situation.” And despite the hesitancy in his expression, Mori eventually merely agreed. Rimbaud looked pleased with that decision and the conversation stopped there. Dazai, in the meantime, was left even more confused. What could possibly be so bad that Mori didn’t want to tell him? Surely the guy knew he could handle it. He survived a goddamn apocalypse, so how bad could it really be?

Dazai’s thoughts were a mess and they didn’t slow down until they got to the camp. Shirase was the first to greet them. “Mori-san! Dazai! You’re back! …wait- who’s that?” Shirase looked visibly suspicious upon spotting Rimbaud, but Mori shrugged him off. “He’s an old friend. I brought him here to assist us in protecting ourselves from the subjects. You don’t have to worry.” Shirase still looked suspicious, but he dropped his more hostile expression, simply remaining a little further away from the man.

Before much else could be said, a young girl walked up to the group. The same young girl Dazai had seen Akutagawa talk to when he first met him. She looked up at him with a calm expression, whispering in a quiet voice. “My brother said you wanted to talk to me?” Dazai immediately nodded. “Yes, that I do. Do you have time right now?” She responded with a court nod. “Follow me. I’ll take you to our tent. It’s colder there.”

The Akutagawa siblings had a whole tent of their own. It was nothing special, only including two beds on opposite walls, along with a mini fridge, a table and two chairs, but at least it was nice and cool. Rimbaud decided to stay outside and have another conversation with Mori as Dazai entered the tent to talk to Gin.

The girl was smaller than her brother, she was also a bit younger. Possibly around ten, maybe eleven. Dazai couldn’t guess her exact age. She sat down on one of the chairs at the table and gestured for Dazai to sit across from her. Her brother went and got them something to drink. Apparently, Akutagawa didn’t want to sit down at the table with them, he instead sat on the bed closest to them to watch from afar. Gin took a sip from her water and looked up at Dazai. “There’s something you wanted to ask me about?” 

For a moment, Dazai tried to think about how to phrase his question in a sensitive way, but then he remembered that Gin apparently didn’t recall what she had been through, which made this a whole lot easier. “You and your brother were taken from a subject holding facility?” He started. Gin responded with a small nod. “About a year ago. I don’t know why Mori-san took us, but now we’re here.” Dazai nodded along. “Could you give me an exact description of how you remember your time at the facility?” Gin seemed a little confused, but he still readily disclosed information.

“I don’t remember our lives before this facility. I think I was just too young. Ryuu and I were brought there quite some time ago. Ryuu says it’s been eight years, but I honestly don’t have a good sense of time. But for as long as I remember, we’ve always been safe and taken care of there, which is why I don’t get why everyone says we were ‘rescued’. I don’t remember them doing a single bad thing to us, none at all.”

Well, wasn’t that interesting? It was just about what Dazai had known already. Whatever these scientists gave the subjects, it removed their painful memories of the experiments. He nodded and looked at the young girl again. “Then what did they do for you? You sound like you liked the place.” Gin took another sip of her water, staring down at the bottle, then she answered.

“Every day we’d wake up late and they’d give us lunch. They even prepared special meals for each and every one of us, giving us exactly what we liked to eat! Then we’d have lots of free time. The place had this huge park with all kinds of toys and stuff. It was always nice and sunny… There were even a lot of pretty flowers and decorations. Sometimes we’d do fun events all the subjects participated in. All of us would hang out there all the time and talk with friends or play games. There was no real school or work, but there were places where we could learn things like writing and such if we wanted to. Most of us went there, actually. The people taking care of us were pretty nice and helpful and they were always smiling and knew exactly what to do, no matter what we asked for. It’s like they could predict our every move! Then, in the afternoon, we would be brought to these really cool sleeping quarters. They always gave us sleeping meds so we’d get a lot of peaceful rest. And when we woke up on the next day, we’d do the whole thing again.”

When Gin said it like this, the place sounded actually pretty damn cool, even though it would probably feel monotonous and boring after a while. But there was one particular part she didn’t talk about, so Dazai decided to ask. “What about breakfast?” He asked. Gin shook her head. “We’d wake up so late that it would already be lunch time.” Dazai continued. “What about dinner then? Did you not have dinner?” Gin merely shook her head again. “No, not really. We could get snacks during our free time and I’m pretty sure all of us would sleep through dinner time. But it doesn’t matter, we never got hungry enough to need dinner. So it’s okay that nothing happens in the evenings.” She talked about it like it was pretty nice, but Dazai could see Akutagawa’s pained expression in the background. Dazai knew, for a fact, that the evenings were anything but harmless, so were the mornings. And breakfasts and dinners did exist, but apparently Gin had no recollection of those. 

Interesting. So the people with amnesia assume they spent the worst parts of their days asleep.

“So basically, you’d wake up, have free time, have lunch, have more free time, then go to sleep again?” Dazai inquired. “Yea, exactly. It was fun and easy, but then this doctor came, took us out, and is now having us stay with him. Ryuu was so relieved when we got out, but I never understood it. Did he not like the fun activities we could do? But then, whenever I ask him about it, he just changes the topic or avoids answering altogether.” In the background, Akutagawa tensed. And Dazai felt pretty bad for him. But this did give him a bunch of insight. Somehow, everything pointed to the amnesia being connected with sleep. Which also made sense in regards to why it were his own dreams that told him about his past more often than not. He could work with that.

“Thanks Gin-chan. You’ve helped me a lot!” He said, offering her a smile. Gin looked at him for a moment. “Is that really all you wanna know?” She asked. Dazai nodded. “Yea, that’s all I wanted to know.” She shrugged and went silent, giving her water bottle a contemplative stare.

Dazai sighed as he looked up at the roof of the tent. Gin truly did seem to think that the facility was the most amazing place in the world. Hearing her version was in stark contrast to her brother’s version, her perspective all skewered by whatever it was that made her forget. Dazai would figure it out, he was on a mission. And hopefully, maybe, he could help Gin, as well as some of the other subjects, to remember what their lives in that place truly were like.

—

“Got what you wanted?” Rimbaud asked as Dazai left the tent. It felt like he was walking straight into a wall of heat. Fuck summer and its temperatures, honestly. Dazai sighed and nodded. “She talks like it was super amazing. Looks like they’ve got her all wrapped up in the perception they want people to have of the place. Can’t wait to go there myself and see just how bad it is.”

Rimbaud chuckled lightly at his words. “I think you’re the only subject in existence that cannot wait to go into that holding facility even while aware of what it’s like to be trapped by the scientists.” They started walking, moving further away from the tent. Dazai stared at the facility ruins in front of them. “Maybe, but I want to know what’s going on. And I want my memories back. I promised Chuuya I’d tell him I missed him once I remember our time as lab rats!”

Rimbaud’s expression was warm, yet also a little sad. “You really, truly want those memories back, don’t you? Even if they’re not pretty?” Dazai nodded without hesitation. “I do. I’m sick of not knowing who or what I am. Especially considering I apparently did something that irreversibly changed the entirety of Japan. I can’t just have Chuuya take all the blame. I gotta help him out with this. That, and I want to show the government that they shouldn’t have messed with us.”

The man hummed quietly, listening to every word. “You want payback?” He asked. Dazai’s expression turned determined. “I want them to take accountability, mostly. They act like Chuuya is this big monster that destroyed everything. They act like it’s all his fault. But I do know, for a fact, that it never would’ve gotten that far if they hadn’t fucked over his life with their stupid experiments. He’s just a kid, we both are. We shouldn’t be blamed for the actions our circumstances forced us into. They should be punished, not us. They don’t deserve to be put up on a pedestal as the almighty overseers who protect the nation when they’re the ones who caused it to happen in the first place.”

It was quiet for a moment, then Rimbaud spoke up. “...You’re doing this mostly for Chuuya-kun, aren’t you?” Dazai looked over at him, then nodded slowly. “For Chuuya. And for everyone else who’s been wronged this way. But… yea, it’s probably mostly for Chuuya.” The man hid a laugh behind his fist, making Dazai pout. “Hey! What’s so funny!” He complained. Rimbaud shook his head, amused. “Nothing, nothing. I just find it quite sweet how much you care about him. Reminds me a little of myself and Paul, if I may say so.” Dazai perked up. He’d take any information about the two men he could get. “What do you mean?” The other just smiled. “It’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about in private. I believe it would explain some things regarding Paul’s protectiveness over Chuuya-kun.” And well, Dazai would most definitely listen to that.

“See, the two of them are kind of similar. Both were created for the same purpose. They’re supposed to contain powers far beyond human comprehension and learn to use them on command. You could say Paul was… a sort of prototype to the Arahabaki project. That’s why he considers himself Chuuya-kun’s older brother. Paul, like Chuuya-kun, has a singularity sealed in his body. An uncontrollable force of destruction beyond what abilities are capable of. But unlike Chuuya-kun, his had a sort of antidote that could stop it if you managed to get close enough to give it to him.” That… Made surprisingly much sense. It at least explained Verlaines attachment to Chuuya if he’d been put in a similar situation. But Rimbaud wasn’t done yet.

“Once upon a time, just like Chuuya-kun, Paul was paired up with a person who could somewhat control him in his state called Brutalization. A man who was capable of absorbing abilities and nullifying their effect on his body, therefore giving him enough time to get the antidote to Paul. But that man got too greedy and tried to use Brutalization against the scientists and for his own good, hurting Paul a lot in the process. Paul trusted him to stop him before it got too much, but said ability user broke that trust and then proceeded to disappear without a trace. The scientists were too distracted dealing with Paul to notice the man got away. The only reason Paul didn’t succumb to Brutalization and die that day was because I was around to help and managed to get the antidote to him.”

Dazai was a little speechless at that. So Verlaine was given a partner who betrayed him? …For all the hostility the man had shown him, Dazai felt bad for him. He could never imagine leaving Chuuya to die to Corruption. Apparently, he even ran to save Chuuya when he didn’t even remember him. And suddenly, a bunch of things made sense.

“...Verlaine doesn’t trust me because he was betrayed by his partner and he doesn’t want the same to happen to Chuuya?” Dazai guessed. Rimbaud nodded in response. “You’re quite smart, Dazai-kun. That is, in fact, the truth. Paul would’ve never told you this. He’d fear that that story would give you ideas. But From what I’ve seen, you genuinely do care about your partner a lot. You wouldn’t abandon him. You didn’t even abandon him when you didn’t remember him. And that is a bond I admire. I’d save Paul from Brutalization over and over again, even if it puts my own life at risk. And I know you’d do the same for Chuuya-kun because you love him.”

Dazai blushed at the statement, but he really couldn’t find it in himself to deny it. Instead, he looked away, hiding his face to not show how embarrassed he was. 

“...I do. I really do.” 

He could admit that. He wasn’t oblivious to his own feelings, after all.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Dazai looked up, locking eyes with the man standing next to him. Rimbaud had an understanding expression on his face. “You don’t need to hide. Never be embarrassed about admitting who you love out loud. It’s a beautiful thing to be open about your feelings so just do it.” Dazai swatted his hand away, amused. “Shut up. I really don’t need any more teasing.” Rimbaud laughed, but he dropped the topic for now.

—

They didn’t stay out much longer, preferring to return to their camp rather than burn alive in the summer sun. Though Dazai didn’t even really notice the heat, too busy being stuck in his head about the things he heard that day. And so, upon return to the camp, despite Rimbaud’s warning, Dazai pulled Verlaine aside to talk to him.

“So, what did you want to talk about again, kid?” The blonde asked, leaning against a wall out of hearing range of their friends. Dazai took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. But he knew what he had to say. He had to ensure Verlaine knew that he wasn’t a threat to Chuuya. And so he put his hand to his heart and looked up. “Your husband told me about why you act like you have to protect Chuuya from me.” He started. Verlaine raised an eyebrow. “Arthur told you? You weren’t exactly supposed to hear that, y’know. If you’re getting any ideas…” He trailed off, voice lowekey threatening. Dazai sighed. Patience. He’s got this.

“I know you’ve been betrayed by someone you were supposed to be able to trust, Verlaine. And I’m not gonna tell you to get over it. But I want to tell you that I would never, ever betray Chuuya’s trust like that. I care about him way too much to leave him to die, and I’m not scared of admitting that out loud. You just want the best for him, I know. But so do I. All of this, this whole mission I’m on, I’m working through it with the goal to clear Chuuya’s name and hold those accountable who are actually at fault. He doesn’t deserve to suffer for things he couldn’t control. Why would I do this, why  would I risk putting myself out there to clear him, just to end up betraying him in the end?” Verlaine was silent. But he looked like he was listening attentively which Dazai would take as a good sign. And so he continued.

“You don’t have to like or trust me, alright? But please don’t make things more difficult for me, for us. We’ve got the same goal. Both of us want to protect him. So I don’t think we should get in each other’s way, alright? I promise that I won’t hurt him. I’m not letting anything bad happen to him. I’m doing this for him. Not because I want to use and control him.”

Verlaine remained quiet for a while longer, then sighed, exasperated. “I still don’t trust you…” Dazai took a deep breath, he had said what he wanted to say, the rest was up to Verlaine himself.

“...But I suppose Chuuya does trust you. And I suppose I can trust his judgment. But if there are any signs of you even thinking about hurting him…” Dazai immediately cut him off. “Yea, yea, I get it. You will rip off my head. I’ll make sure none of that happens.” Verlaine gave him a smirk. “Hm. Maybe you do get me. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Just don’t die before you manage to clear Chuuya’s name, alright?” And, well, it wasn’t much, but Dazai supposed this was a step in the right direction. Maybe the man would finally stop glaring him down whenever he as much as breathed near Chuuya.

“...What a surprisingly emotional speech, Mackerel.” A familiar voice sounded from above. Dazai could feel the immediate grin creep up on his face as he looked up and his eyes locked with pretty blue ones. Chuuya was there, floating in the air above his head, looking like he’d been here the whole time.

“How much did you hear?” Dazai asked. His partner descended and reached the ground in front of him, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Everything. You sound like I’m pretty damn important to you, dumbass.” Dazai rolled his eyes and scoffed, but the smile never left. “Shut up, Chibi. Just trying to bond with your brother.” Chuuya snickered and stepped closer, until there was barely any distance left in between them. “Careful there Mackerel, you’re almost starting to sound like you’ve got a crush on me if you keep this up.” Chuuya’s smirk said just about everything, he definitely knew. But Dazai would rather die than mention that.

“What about you, then. Sneaking around to follow me, wanting to hear everything I say. Doesn’t that make you sound like a stalker with a crush?~” Dazai teased back. The sudden mild blush on Chuuya’s cheeks was absolutely worth the punch that hit him in the chest. “Shut the fuck up.” Chuuya grumbled. Dazai laughed and composed himself, offering Chuuya a wide grin. “Why would I? Teasing you is a lot of fun y’know?” Chuuya punched him again. But there was no real intention to harm anywhere in sight.

“So, I assume you talked to Gin?” Chuuya asked after a moment. Dazai nodded. “I did, yea. She makes that facility sound like a lot of fun. We’ll see how much truth there is to it, but I doubt it’s as idyllic as she described it. Akutagawa’s explanation already confirmed that. But I do have a lead. I think the amnesia has something to do with the ‘sleep medicine’ they receive. At least in Gin’s version, the time that she usually supposedly got experimented on is replaced by her being asleep in her memory. Meanwhile Akutagawa says they were basically always together, but he vividly remembers the experiments. We’ll have to check once we get there.”

Chuuya hummed and nodded along. “So you think the sleep medicine they receive is what causes the amnesia?” He asked. “Yea. Maybe there’s also other parts to it, but it seems like the most logical answer right now. We’ll figure it out.” Following their conversation, the two walked in silence for a while. Neither really knew where they were going, but they were together, so it didn’t matter.

“...Hey Dazai?” Chuuya eventually broke the silence. Dazai looked over at him. “Yea?” Chuuya gave him a smile and threw an arm around his shoulders. “The shit you said about me, about how it’s not my fault and how I shouldn’t be blamed, that was really damn nice of you.” Dazai felt warmth seep from the contact between their bodies through his muscles and into his bones. He quickly shook his head to prevent himself from blushing. “I was just telling the truth, Chibi~ And I’ll prove it to everyone. Including this shitty government and all its shitty scientists!” Chuuya’s grip tightened and he didn’t let go. “I’ll hold you to that then.” And Dazai would be damned if he didn’t manage to do all of this for his partner.

As their conversation died down once again, they found themselves somewhere near the The Sheep camp. Chuuya tensed up and Dazai gently reached up to grab the other teen’s hand and make sure he didn’t get finger cramps from how tight he was holding on.

“...They’re right there.” Chuuya mumbled. “Doing alright without me. Like I never existed at all.” His voice was quiet and Dazai couldn’t help the urge to wrap him in a hug. “Y’know Chibi… When I first followed them it almost sounded like they regret leaving you.” Chuuya looked at him, surprised. “They sounded like they regret it..?” Dazai nodded yes. “Seems like they’re not super happy with how things are now either. I’m sure that with some convincing, they’d easily side with you again.” Chuuya seemed to genuinely think about it for a while, but eventually he sighed and shook his head. “They’ll be alright, I’m sure. Eventually, they would’ve had to learn how to survive without me anyway. I’m just glad they’re okay.” He stared at the camp for a while, then turned back to Dazai.

“Plus, I have you with me now. And you’ll always be my number one priority to protect. I’ll be alright and so will they.”

Dazai was definitely going to talk to The Sheep about this.

Chuuya intertwined their hands and kissed Dazai’s cheek who went bright red in return.

He’d talk to The Sheep about this. But after he’d gotten some more affection from his Chibi.

“Y’know what’s funny, Chuuya?” He asked, amused. Chuuya gave him a skeptical look. “...What’s so funny and why am I getting so worried?” Dazai only grinned. “When I was texting you while I first went with them, they asked me who I was talking to~” Chuuya looked somehow even more concerned now. “...And what did you tell them?” Dazai’s grin widened. “I told them that I was talking to my boyfriend!”

Chuuya’s face flared up with an angry, embarrassed red.

“Oh you little - HEY! GET BACK HERE YOU MENACE!”

But Dazai was already speeding off.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Dazai, wake up, will you?” A hushed voice reached his brain. Dazai yawned, trying to lift his head just for his neck to immediately cramp. He hissed in pain, immediately fully awake. He was.. Sitting up? How even-”

“We fucking fell asleep sitting up.” It was Chuuya’s voice, and Dazai slowly realized he’d been sitting up against a wall, using Chuuya’s shoulder as a convenient pillow. As he looked around, he realized that it was still in the middle of the night. How did they get here again..?

Right. He and Chuuya had met up in secret at night once again, as Dazai was technically still expected to hang out with The Sheep. Looks like their short stargazing date turned into a sleepover. Probably due to their general tiredness. It was still summer, still hot, and neither of them slept well without one another so they’d been running on low energy for the past few nights they had to wait out until they’d go back to Yokohama.

“Time?” Dazai asked. “3:36 AM.” Chuuya responded. Fuck. They really had fallen asleep for quite some time. Thankfully, Dazai’s temporary bed in the camp of The Sheep was placed in the Akutagawa siblings’ tent who both knew who he was actually working with. They wouldn’t search for him.

Though now, as he was aware of his surroundings once more, he realized that something wasn’t right. Chuuya was tense. Almost nervous. Dazai looked at him confused. “Chibi? Everything alright?” Chuuya quietly shook his head and pointed in the direction of the crater. Dazai followed where he was pointing and his eyes widened.

There, in the middle of the crater, was light. And not just light that could belong to a person with a flashlight, no. It was one of these super bright floodlights like the ones in soccer venues and stuff. Three of them, in fact, all pointed at a specific area near the middle of the crater. And surrounding the floodlights, vans. Black vans like those used by the government. And people, wearing white suits, doing something that Dazai couldn’t spot because they were too far away.

“What’re they doing here? All our sources said that the camp with The Sheep is the only government-assigned unit sent out here at the moment?!” Dazai whispered. Chuuya shrugged. “I can’t see what exactly is going on, but it looks like they’re searching for something. They also look different from the other government officials we’ve seen so far. Maybe a special unit on a spontaneous mission?”

The two boys didn’t have to think about it for too long, merely exchanging glances before nodding and sneaking their way through the destroyed area, hiding behind rubble and staying close to the ground as they made their way towards the middle of the crater. Sure, maybe it was dangerous, or stupid, or both. But they had to at least try and figure out what was going on. Thankfully, the night acted as a good cover to hide within.

Somehow the two of them made it within hearing range of the unit without anyone noticing, and there they remained, cowering in a small cavern under a big stone wall that probably used to be part of a building at some point. They kept their breathing quiet and cuddled as close to one another as they could to take up as little space as possible, Dazai’s black coat covering them, helping them blend in with the shadows. Dazai turned on his phone and swiftly started an audio recording before shoving the device back into his pocket. Any proof of anything could be useful. He could feel Chuuya’s grip on his hand tighten, and he squeezed right back reassuringly as they listened.

“Boss, are you really sure these are the containers we’re looking for?” One guy asked. Dazai peeked from their hiding place briefly, just to get a view of this ‘boss’ person. Thankfully, the floodlights did their job, lighting up the scene as though it was daytime. The person addressed as ‘boss’ was a tall guy in a suit, looking much different from the other people around him. With brown hair and dark eyes, expression serious as he checked something on his clipboard. And there was something about him that just.. Irritated Dazai out of his mind, though he couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

“Yes they are. We didn’t exactly collect anyone else’s blood. Just his. But if you’re really that worried just request a lab test instead of bothering me with your questions.” The man grumbled. The other guy nodded quickly and rushed back towards his colleagues. Collecting blood? Containers? What was going on?! Dazai looked over at Chuuya, but Chuuya didn’t seem to know what this was about either, only shaking his head in confusion.

“Go on guys, hurry up! We don’t have all night! These are supposed to be at Evergreen by noon tomorrow!” The brunette suit guy yelled at the other people. Many voices agreed with loud ‘Yessir’s and continued whatever it was they were doing. Dazai felt Chuuya nudge his side and looked at where his partner was pointing. And there, in a transport helicopter near one of the floodlights, secured with straps, three big glass containers, filled with red liquid. Dazai’s eyes widened.

‘Is that?’ He mouthed quietly. Chuuya nodded, expression unreadable. Dazai would’ve liked to get a closer look but… The helicopter was guarded and going over would be too risky. Unless they’d find a way to distract the people. But he wasn’t about to send Chuuya in there. The ginger was already being chased regardless. He wasn’t gonna deliver him on a silver platter.

“Hey there! What’re you guys doing?”

…Turns out, he might not have to.

All of the workers turned around to face the voice. There, standing at the edge of the lit up area, as though they’d appeared out of thin air, stood Ranpo and Poe. Dazai felt Chuuya squish his hand for dear life.

“What?!” The boss guy shouted, irritated. “Who are you?! Get out of our work area right now!” But neither Poe nor Ranpo moved a muscle. Instead, Poe pulled out a card. Dazai couldn’t see it from afar, but he guessed it was probably his ID. “Edgar Allan Poe, sir. Member of The Guild. And this right here is my good friend and detective Edogawa Ranpo. We’re investigating the Arahabaki case.”

As Poe spoke, all of the government members were focused on him. And then, Dazai caught Ranpo looking directly in his and Chuuya’s direction. And Dazai understood what he meant right away. And so he whispered, quietly, audible for only him and his partner. “Chuu. Cover me. Give me a signal if I have to rush back.” And Chuuya, catching onto the situation as well, nodded and let him go, despite the extreme concern in his expression.

Dazai rushed towards the helicopter as quickly and quietly as he could, using the distraction Ranpo and Poe created to go unnoticed. And somehow he made it with not a single person realizing he was there. He went to the back of the helicopter, just to be a little more safe, and then got himself a quick overview of the situation. 

The blood containers. The straps. The laboratory equipment, including a whole collection of various glass vials…

Glass vials.

Jackpot.

Dazai snatched one of the empty ones and rushed over to the blood containers, holding the vial under its tap and filling a small amount of the red liquid into the glass. Then he quickly stepped back, checking in with Chuuya who’d been watching him with wide eyes, wildly gesturing to him to come back. Turns out, Dazai hadn’t finished a moment too early, as he saw one of the people in their white suits walking back towards the helicopter. And so he backed off to the nearest hiding place, quickly rushing around the wall to press himself into the shadows behind, just as the scientist reached the helicopter. Dazai took a deep breath, calming himself down.

…Just to then get an immediate heart attack when something suddenly jumped in front of him with a chittering noise.

A furry nose bumped against his legs.

…It was Karl.

Dazai immediately released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Jesus Christ, you scared me!” He whispered. Karl just tilted his head with a noise that almost sounded amused. Dazai shook his head and reached out his hand, petting the raccoon’s head. Karl easily leaned into his touch for a moment, before pushing his nose against the vial of blood, expectantly. Right, he probably ran over here to collect the blood and keep it safe. And so Dazai held out the vial and allowed Karl to take it, who nodded and then ran away towards the edge of the crater. 

Dazai quickly pulled out his phone, stopping the audio recording and texting Ranpo a random emoji. As he looked out, he saw his friends wrapping up their conversation with the scientists. He wasn’t about to risk getting seen to get back to his and Chuuya’s hiding place, and so he sent Chuuya a quick message as well before making sure to get away from the center of the crater as quickly as possible, following after Karl.

Once he was out of viewing and hearing range, it was easy to get to safety. And in no time he successfully made it out, looking back over the crater to where the scientists had resumed transporting blood containers to the helicopter. Good. No one had noticed him. Which meant he could make his way back to camp now.

A weight landed on his shoulders. Karl, who was still safely carrying the blood sample. The raccoon made himself comfortable, making Dazai carry him back to their friends. Dazai didn’t mind the company, especially considering he had a pretty long way to go as their camp was on the opposite side of the giant area. 

—

“There they are!” Ranpo greeted them from afar, waving happily. Karl jumped to the ground, bringing the blood sample to his owner. Dazai managed to wave back for a total of 0.002 seconds before a ball of energy crashed into him and squished him in a tight hug that easily could’ve broken his bones if he were a regular human being. Dazai felt warmth creep into his cheeks as he hugged his Chibi back.

“You had me worried you asshole.” Chuuya grumbled, pulling him closer, burying his face in Dazai’s chest. Dazai chuckled and took off his partner’s hat, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m okay Chibi~ Just had a long walk back.” Chuuya punched his chest softly. “Still! Did you really have to run over to that helicopter?! You could’ve gotten caught!” Dazai pulled back a little, raising Chuuya’s head by the chin to look into his eyes reassuringly. “I’m not gonna get myself caught. Not as long as I still have the mission to clear your name. And not afterwards either.”

For a moment, the two boys just stared at each other. Dazai saw… something in Chuuya’s eyes, though he couldn’t exactly tell what. Chuuya opened his mouth, as if to say something, but then-

“Hey you two! Stop flirting and come over here! Our detective wants to tell you what he learned.” Verlaine interrupted them. Chuuya cursed under his breath, before pulling away from Dazai, grabbing his hat and walking back to their group. …And Dazai could swear he saw his partner blush. Of course he made sure to send Verlaine a mild death glare, but the blonde merely smiled like he could do no wrong. Meanwhile Rimbaud just shook his head in disbelief and sighed.

“Alright so, we don’t know too much, but we did find out that the blood they’re transporting is somehow related to Null Technology.” Dazai tilted his head. “Like the Null Curtain? What would they need this blood for? What’s so special about it?” Ranpo shrugged. “The guy didn’t tell us. Said it was a secret he couldn’t disclose for legal reasons. But we’ll take a look at the sample you got. Maybe it’ll tell us more once we get the details of its properties. Good job everyone! I think we should try and get some sleep. We are leaving to go back to Yokohama tomorrow after all.”

Right, the next part of their plan was about to be set in motion. They’d go back to Yokohama the following day, and the day after that, Ango was gonna take Dazai and Chuuya to the new subject holding facility. …And then they just had to find Dazai’s memories, get them back, and get out as quickly as possible. Easy, right? Dazai wouldn’t allow himself to be nervous. They had to do this, had to get through this. For their freedom, and for the other subjects as well.

“Alright then, let’s get some rest everyone.” He said, and all of them agreed.

Dazai decided that going back to The Sheep now wouldn’t be worth it, as it was gonna be morning soon regardless. And so he just sent Mori a text and then proceeded to cuddle up with Chuuya under the stars, getting some rest as well.

—

“See you tomorrow then!” Rimbaud spoke as he and Verlaine were dropped off at their coffee shop. It was the afternoon of the following day by now and they had returned to Yokohama safely. Ranpo and Poe stayed at the detective agency to process the blood sample with Yosano, Verlaine and Rimbaud returned home, and Mori decided to take Dazai and Chuuya somewhere before bringing them home. Where said ‘somewhere’ was? Neither teen knew. But they trusted Mori, so they tagged along.

“See you. Tomorrow at 10 AM at the agency!” Chuuya reminded them. And then Mori drove off, Dazai and Chuuya sitting comfortably in the backseat.

“Are we going somewhere far? ‘Cause I’d really like to get some sleep in an actual bed tonight.” Chuuya asked. Mori shook his head and chuckled. “No, by gods no. Don’t worry. You’ll be back at your place before dinner. I just wanted to show you something. Won’t take too long.” And so the two boys settled for not asking other questions and just waiting to see where Mori was taking them.

They soon left the inner area of the city, driving through one of the areas with many houses to live in and barely any stores and such. It looked like most areas the closer they were to the Null Curtain. Houses, houses, gardens, more houses, and even more gardens.

Eventually, they arrived at a big building with various windows, balconies, and some green around it. Mori stopped the car, killing the engine and getting out. “Follow me you two. Chuuya-kun, you gotta hide but… You’ll still see everything, don’t worry. Just go into that garden over there and look through the hedges.” 

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “You sure the owner of that garden won’t notice? I don’t really wanna break into someone else’s property and get caught. Defeats the whole hiding concept we’ve got going on.” Mori laughed and shook his head. “Chuuya-kun… That house and its garden belongs to me. You don’t have to worry about the owner getting upset at you.” 

“Oh.” Chuuya responded, looking like he was the stupidest person in the world. Dazai snickered. Chuuya sent him a glare. “Shut up! I didn’t know you ass!”

Nonetheless, they separated as told, with Chuuya hiding behind Mori’s garden hedge and Dazai following the doctor to the backyard of the big building. And there, sitting around, chatting and enjoying some ice cream: The Sheep. Looks like they made it home safely as well. Dazai now knew why Chuuya had to stay hidden.

“Hello everyone!” Mori greeted the kids. All of them perked up and waved. “Mori-san! Dazai! You’re back?” Yuan exclaimed. Next to Dazai, Mori nodded. “Mhm, but only to tell all of you goodbye for now. I gotta get back to work and Dazai has to go back home.” Collective disappointed ‘Aw’ sounds from the kids. Well, looks like they at least somewhat liked Dazai. Though he still didn’t forgive them for what they did to Chuuya.

Dazai offered them a smile and waved. “Goodbye guys! Was nice meeting you all, but I gotta get back home. Still not done with the Arahabaki chase.” The kids walked up to him to tell him goodbye. Shirase nodded. “Right, you don’t live with us. But you’re welcome to visit us at any time, got it? Sorry we couldn’t help you find him and get back what he stole from you.” Dazai shrugged. “Happens. There’ll be plenty more opportunities to look for him. But right now I kinda miss my bed so… I’ll see you around!”

Mori exchanged a few more words with The Sheep, before he and Dazai left the place again. After a few minutes, Chuuya joined them in the car as well. Mori turned to look at them. “So? Happy with where they live? The whole building is made of dorm rooms. All of them have access to electricity, warm water, and they get food as well. Soon, they’ll also be able to go to school if they want. I assume you’re happy, knowing they’re okay?”

Chuuya nodded, a small smile on his face. “Glad to know that stabbing me really was worth it for them. They deserve to live.” Dazai sighed internally. Chuuya still really cared so much about the group… He deserved so much better. But he could never be upset at his partner for caring about people who hurt him. Not when he looked so relieved that they were doing alright.

Mori turned around and started the car once more. “Alright, then I’ll take you home now, okay? You two better get some rest. You’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

—

The drive home didn’t take too long. And soon enough, Dazai and Chuuya arrived back at their penthouse. Dazai immediately threw himself onto their couch, enjoying the cool AC air and patiently waiting as Chuuya made them some dinner. They didn’t bother sitting at the dining table, instead curling up on the couch together, turning on the TV as white noise.

“We’re really about to get back into a facility, hm?” Dazai hummed, eating his rice. Chuuya nodded in response. “Yea. But at least we’re not prisoners this time. We just have to pretend, and pretend well, and then we’ll make it. Still… It is dangerous, so I’m glad we’re doing this together, Mackerel.” He spoke softly, nuzzling his head into the crook of Dazai’s neck. Dazai let him. “Happy we’re doing this together too, Slug. Always together.”

They ate the rest of their dinner without much talking, just cuddling and watching the movie despite having lost track of the plot five minutes in. Dazai thought about what they might see and encounter in their target location. He was actually really interested in seeing how the subjects were handled nowadays. Not that he liked seeing the subjects suffer, no. He just wanted to see what the scientists had done to them and their memories.

“Hey Dazai?” Chuuya asked after a while, pulling Dazai from his thoughts. The brunette tilted his head. “Hm?” Chuuya looked up at him. “Did you really tell them I fucking stole something from you?” Dazai chuckled. “Well, I had to come up with a believable story so… Plus, it’s not entirely wrong now!” Chuuya raised an eyebrow, confused. “The fuck you mean, I never stole anything from you!” Dazai grinned. “Yea you did!” Chuuya glared at him. “And what in the world would that be, genius?!” Perfect. Dazai just smirked.

“My heart, of course~”

Chuuya’s face turned completely red as he processed the words. “WHAT?!” Dazai laughed. “You heard me!” Chuuya opened his mouth, but then immediately closed it. But then opened it again. Like he was trying to say something, but couldn’t. Then he just completely buried his face in Dazai’s chest, repeatedly hitting his shoulder.

“...You’re the fucking worst, Samu.” He mumbled. Dazai melted at the nickname, returning the hug softly. “You love it.” He responded. Chuuya had nothing else to say to that. But his hug said more than a thousand words ever could.

Chapter Text

The following morning they ate breakfast and left to go to the agency right after. They barely took anything with them, just their phones. Not like they could just casually carry a backpack into the place. Ango had told them he was gonna make sure they’d get everything they needed.

”Let’s go then. Bet everyone’s already waiting for us.” Chuuya commented, taking Dazai by the hand. Dazai took one last look at their apartment, hoping they’d come back soon. He was a little tired of running all over the place. But all of this needed to be done. They had to find out the truth and fix things.

They closed the door and left the building, stepping out into the uncomfortable summer heat. Dazai hoped the facility had AC. Though he was sure they did. The scientists were cruel, but even they’d get hot without any.

They arrived at the agency at 9:45 AM, 15 minutes before they were supposed to get there. But that just meant they’d get more time with their friends. All of them would be there, waiting to send them off. They weren’t gonna come along. It wouldn’t make sense. Instead, they’d be supporting them from afar.

“Well now, look who’s here.” Yosano greeted them the moment they reached the building. Looks like she’d been waiting for them to arrive. “Ready for your next adventure boys?” Chuuya shrugged. “Not sure if I’m ready but… We’re going anyway! We’ve got some stuff to do after all. We’re getting Dazai’s memories back, no matter what.” Yosano grinned. “That’s the spirit you two!” And then she brought both of them upstairs into the office.

Of course, everyone was waiting already. The agency, Poe, Rimbaud, Verlaine, Mori and Akutagawa too. All of them here for them. Dazai felt warm at the prospect of these people caring about them. And he knew that if anything bad were to happen, all of them would fight to get them out.

“It’s almost time. You sure sure you wanna do this?” Mori asked. Dazai nodded. “Yea we are. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of ourselves.” Mori sighed, looking a little worried, but Fukuzawa walked up to him, setting a hand down on his shoulder. “They’re no longer little kids, they’ll be alright. I understand why you’re concerned, of course I do. But they’ve made their choice clear, and we should believe in them.”

Akutagawa was the next one to walk up to them. “Good luck. Please find him if you can.” Akutagawa’s friend. Dazai would make absolutely sure they’d search every part of the facility if that’s what it took to find him. “Of course, Akutagawa-kun. We’ll try our best.” Akutagawa nodded and stepped back.

”Still can’t believe you’re running right back into danger like this.” Verlaine said, shaking his head. “You two better come back safe, got it? Dazai. If anything happens to Chuuya I will-”, “Yea, I know. I’ll keep him safe, I promise.” Dazai interrupted Verlaine, putting his hand to his own chest. “As long as I’m alive, no one will hurt him. And with the information gathered from this trip, I’ll hopefully manage to give him the freedom he deserves.”

Verlaine shook his head, amused, then nodded. “Alright alright, I get it. He’s safe with you. You’re ready to overthrow an entire government if it means he gets to be free.” Dazai nodded in agreement. “I am. And I will.”

Rimbaud laughed at their conversation and walked up to them as well. “Glad to see that you two are starting to get along. I must agree with Paul tho. You better come back safe. And if you need any help, just tell us. We’ll be right there.” Next to Dazai, Chuuya smiled. “Appreciated. But I’ve got a feeling we’ll be just fine. We’re strong and we’ve got this!”

“Trauma children! Keep yourselves safe alright?” Ranpo asked with a grin. “I know you can! Nothing can beat the two of you. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find some help within the facility as well! We’ll watch over you from the outside! You’ll be alone in there, sure, but know that we’re with you in spirit! Right, Ed?” Poe nodded, hugging Karl close to his chest. “It is as Ranpo-kun says. Just- stay safe, please.” Chuuya smiled. “We will. You better watch us, got it? We want witnesses to be able to confirm that we managed to infiltrate a top-secret government facility!”

The rest of the agency gave them their good luck wishes as well, getting to them in the form of a crushing hug from Yosano, a much less crushing and much more soft hug from Kenji, and a rant from Kunikida which could be summarized as him listing off around ten thousand things to to in a million different difficult situations. Looks like he did care! In his very own way.

Eventually, the clock struck 10 AM. And Ango walked in, just in time, greeting everyone with a wave. “Well, looks like everyone’s here already. Did you-” Dazai nodded. “Yea, we finished saying bye to everyone. We’re ready to go. Right?” He exchanged a glance with Chuuya who looked at their friends behind him and then nodded. “Yea, we’re ready. We can go now.”

A few more hugs and caring threats (from mostly Verlaine) later, the two teens left the agency with Ango who led them to one of the black government cars. “Get comfortable. We’ll get you prepared for entering the facility once we get there.” And so Dazai and Chuuya huddled up in the backseat, doing just that: Getting comfortable. Dazai looked up at him. “Won’t they control you at the gates?” Ango shook his head. “Don’t worry, we’re using a special exit reserved for government units and subject transfers. Plus: With my position, no one is going to check my car.” How convenient. They sure were lucky to know the people they knew.

Thanks, Odasaku. Dazai thought, looking out the window. Thanks for getting an actual part of the government on our side.

“The place we’re going to is called Evergreen. That’s the name of the new facility. it’s closer to Yokohama than Echogarden, the one that you destroyed. Evergreen is built after the exact same concept, but with many more security measures. I sent Ranpo-san the security plans and he should’ve sent it to you.” Dazai checked, and yea. Ranpo did send him the plans.

“You two need to be careful. Especially when you sneak around in places you’re not supposed to go. I already did all I could to give you two the lowest security ranking, meaning you get to walk around the facility freely and aren’t confined to your cell. But that doesn’t mean you can legally walk into any room and the scientists have to be fine with it. So whatever you do, do it in secret. Got it?” Dazai laughed at how careful the man was being and nodded. “Of course we’ll be secretive. Wouldn’t wanna do anything to compromise our mission after all. You can count on us. Don’t worry.”

Ango sighed and shook his head. “Sorry for being so overly cautious. It’s just- This is a really risky thing you’re doing. Oda entrusted me with your safety in case he ends up caught, and now I’m bringing you to what’s probably the least safe place you could be in. Feels like I’m breaking a promise or something.” Dazai looked out of the window. Ango was kind of right but…

“You’re not breaking a promise. Just because we’re going somewhere dangerous, it doesn’t mean that we won’t be safe. You’re still keeping us safe, even in there. It’s just that the circumstances change a bit.” Chuuya spoke, looking at Ango through the rearview mirror. Smart Chibi. Dazai gave him some headpats as a reward (which he immediately scored a punch for). But Ango seemed to get what Chuuya was trying to say. “Actually, you’re right, Chuuya-kun. I didn’t promise him to keep you from doing something stupid. I just have to watch over you and make sure nothing bad happens to you while you’re at it.” 

Dazai raised an eyebrow. “So… We’re not supposed to be too stupid?” Ango huffed. “You better not be! Oda would never forgive me!” Dazai laughed. “Yea, yea, we get it. Nothing too stupid. What more do we have to pay attention to while in there?” 

Ango gave them a contemplative look through the mirror. “You’ll have to act the part of broken subjects. Adjust to your surroundings. Which means: Whenever the others are exhausted, beaten down and hurt from the experiments, you should try to look like that as well.” Dazai hummed. “Well, at least it’s something we’re experienced in.” Chuuya nearly choked at his words. “Jesus Christ Dazai!” Dazai chuckled, amused, throwing his arms around his partner and pulling him close. “What! Am I wrong?” Chuuya shook his head in disbelief. “No, you’re not. But also: What the fuck.”

For a moment, they just laughed together, then Ango spoke up again. “There’s something else you should probably know as well. It’s about the amnesia situation.” Dazai listened up. “Alright, out with it. How does it work? We kind of do need to know that, considering we might end up exposed to whatever triggers it. We gotta know how to prevent it.” 

Ango gave them a warning glance. “It’s really simple, actually. Do not take the sleeping meds you’re given. Don’t take any meds you're given if you can. They’re used to cause amnesia in subjects.” Which made a lot of sense. It had also been Dazai’s first guess that it had to do something with the sleep medication.

“What if they force-feed us meds tho? They used to do that all the time when we were kids.” Chuuya asked. Dazai grimaced. Chuuya was so painfully casual about this, it made his heart hurt. Ango nodded. “Yea, that might happen. But there’s a failsafe for that as well. If you do end up swallowing the meds, don’t fall asleep within an hour after doing so, no matter what. Pretend to sleep, stay awake, whatever. Just don’t fall asleep. That way, they will lose the ability to wipe your memories.”

Dazai tilted his head. “They do? Just like that? Why?” Ango shrugged. “The amnesia substance is really difficult to produce and very expensive. With the amount they require to wipe every subject’s memory multiple times a day, the facility and the government behind it would go broke if they had to mix any more into their meds. Therefore they’re banking on all the subjects falling asleep within a maximum of one hour after taking their medication. Which is easy, as they are sleep meds. And once the bad stuff is forgotten, subjects will easily fall into a pattern of trusting this medicine for everyday use. And should any of these subjects ever manage to avoid the amnesia effects, the scientists will just give them a higher dose of sleeping meds at the next opportunity. They’re not backing down. Even if they have to knock out the subjects with the highest dose a human body can manage without serious repercussions.”

Chuuya looked a little horrified. The information left a bad taste in Dazai’s mouth as well. He looked over at Chuuya who looked right back at him, seemingly reading his thoughts. “...No, they didn’t do that back when we were kids. They only wiped your memories when–” He cut himself off, going completely silent. What was it with Chuuya not wanting to tell him why his memories were wiped in the first place? What in the world happened back then?

Well, Dazai wouldn’t prod if his partner didn’t want to tell him. He’d probably find out once he recovered his memories anyway.

“So… We’d be better off pretending to sleep once we’ve taken the meds?” Dazai asked. Ango nodded. “If you don’t want them to increase your dosage and make it more difficult to stay awake, that would be the best option. One hour after you swallow the meds, you can sleep without having to worry about the amnesia taking effect. But still… It will be the safest way to just not take them in the first place. Just.. Pretend to take them. Can you do that? And then spit them out the moment no one is watching you anymore.” Both teens nodded. “Understood.”

Ango explained a few more smaller things to them, and then focused on driving again. Meanwhile Dazai and Chuuya took a look at the plans given to them.

“The memory archive really is on the lowest floor, hm?” Chuuya mumbled as they stared at the map. “It makes sense, considering it holds everything that could lead to the facility’s demise if a subject discovers them even by accident. Also looks like it’s better protected than any other part of the building. Security systems, guards, it’s definitely not gonna be easy to get in there unless we figure out a way to work around the security system and distract the guards. Tho that’ll require closer observation of their patrolling routes and shift changes. Ango-san, what do you think will be the best time to go around without being seen?”

Ango hummed, contemplatively. “I’m not too familiar with the security system, as I don’t work in the facility itself. But from what I’ve seen or heard, your best bet is gonna be at night, after all subjects are put to sleep. The meds are meant to knock them out for eight to twelve hours, and during that time, there aren’t many people needed as no tests are being done. The only ones around by then are gonna be the night shift and maybe a few scientists finishing their daily work or preparing stuff for the following day. Though these scientists are most likely gonna stay in their office and lab rooms and therefore won’t be a problem if you walk around in the halls. I’d assume the guards and the watchers of the security cameras are gonna be the biggest issue. But I’m sure you’ll manage to outsmart them with some good planning. Just make sure not to get caught. If you do, act like you don’t know where you are and pretend you were sleepwalking. Sleepwalking subjects are nothing new to these people, as a lot of them work through the events of the previous day through dreams, despite not remembering what happened. Just let them guide you back to your room and don’t act suspicious or too awake.”

Dazai nodded along, taking in the words and making sure to file all of them away in his brain for later. Stay out of the security system’s view. Take out said security system. Distract or avoid the guards. Get into the memory archives. Once in there, no one could stop them anymore, as the memory archives were off-limits for everyone, including security. It was as if the room didn’t exist in the first place. Probably because as few people as possible were supposed to know about it. Dazai wouldn’t even be surprised if the guards themselves didn’t know what they were protecting.

“Thanks for all the info Ango-san. We won’t disappoint you.” Chuuya promised. Ango smiled at them. “You two really are something, hm? Good luck then. And if you need any help I can provide, just tell me.”

—

“Feels like a weakened version of the fucking Null Curtain.” Chuuya forced out between gritted teeth, hands balled into fists tightly. Ango gave him an apologetic look. “I know, I know. And I’m really sorry I have to make you do this, but I’ll take them off as soon as we get you two inside okay? Can you manage that?” Chuuya responded with a nod, even though he still looked quite pale.

Both teens had to wear handcuffs. Ability-subduing handcuffs specifically. And Chuuya was suffering, ‘cause they were seemingly made up of a material infused with whatever made the Null Curtain the Null Curtain. Dazai felt it too. Though it didn’t hurt him. Just like the Null Curtain. It was probably just what happened, considering the material was literally trying to nullify a nullification ability. Though Dazai probably should at least try and seem like he was in pain so no one would be suspicious of them.

They arrived at Evergreen. And the place looked just as unappealing as Dazai imagined. White walls, an entrance area consisting of at least three high-security gates, and no windows in the building whatsoever. It was basically just a giant block of white concrete. Beautiful. Truly beautiful. Definitely Dazai’s dream house.

“...You look like you wanna turn right around and go back home.” Chuuya commented next to him. Dazai sent him a look. “Whoever designed this place can go to hell. This is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” He deadpanned. Chuuya looked at the building, then nodded. “Yea… Gotta agree with you on that one. But also: Can we get inside? Please? I really really want to get these handcuffs off as soon as possible.”

Ango chuckled and nodded. “Sure we can. Now put on your best ‘We’re in pain and suffering’ faces. That way no one’s gonna ask you any questions. And well, that was certainly a clear order. And of course the two boys gave their very best acting performance.

As they were transported through the various different gates, Dazai could slowly feel dread consuming his every move. It just felt… Wrong. The high gates. The guards that all looked like carbon copies of each other. The white walls that seemed to get higher and higher the closer they got. All of it ignited a primal urge to turn back and run in Dazai. But he had to do this. Had to get through this. Just a few days, and then they’d be out. This was fine. This was perfectly fine. He could easily ignore the static in his ears, drowning out everything but his own, sped-up heartbeat. This was–

A hand grabbed his own. The static disappeared. Dazai looked to his side, right into Chuuya’s eyes. Chuuya’s pretty blue eyes, looking at him like everything was gonna be okay.

Dazai’s heartbeat slowed down. And looking at the miniscule smile appearing on Chuuya’s face as he discreetly linked their pinkies between their bodies, Chuuya felt it.

Neither of the teens listened to what Ango and the guards were talking about. All they focused on was sticking close together and moving whenever Ango pushed them forward. With their hands now touching, Dazai could feel Chuuya relax. Probably because the handcuffs weren’t hurting him anymore as long as Dazai touched him.

Like this, ignoring everything, it didn’t take them long to get into the facility. Dazai barely managed to catch the path they were walking and save it in his brain for later. And after another five minutes of so, the two of them were alone in a white room with the order to change into the required clothes for their ‘imprisonment’.

“...I think white might be the scientists’ favorite color.” Dazai commented as he picked up the white jumpsuit. Not a single particle of color on this thing. Chuuya nodded along and picked up his own. “Even our hospital gowns were more colorful than this. White walls, white hallways, white rooms, white clothes. What’s next? White beds? What, are they allergic to any color besides hex code #FFFFFF?” Dazai shook his head in disbelief. “I’d assume so. What did we get ourselves into…”

Begrudgingly, he changed into the white jumpsuit. The material was uncomfortable. It felt more like plastic than fabric and he could barely even tell which side of the thing was the front and which the back. He was glad for the extra layer bandages between his clothes and his skin, or otherwise he wouldn’t know how long he’d survive wearing the clothes without feeling like ripping his skin off. He turned over to his partner to say something, before immediately shutting his mouth as he took in the view of Chuuya without a shirt on.

Gods was he gay.

But that wasn’t the main thing that caught his eyes. Sure, Chuuya looked good and all, but now, seeing him shirtless and without blood covering his body (like that first day he found him bleeding out), the scars were much more visible and had a distinct pattern.

“Chuuya noticed him staring and tilted his head and then chuckled, amused. “Like what you see?” Dazai blushed immediately and turned his head away. “Whatever. Shut up.” He grumbled, embarrassed over getting caught. But after his embarrassment had subsided a little, he turned to look back at Chuuya. “The scars… They look- different from regular scars.” Chuuya seemed confused for a moment, then made an ‘oh’ sound and held out one arm, covered in slightly visible lines and swirls. “Those?” He asked. Dazai nodded and stepped closer, taking Chuuya’s arm in his hand to look at them in more detail.

“Those are from corruption. Y’know, the state I end up in when I unleash Arahabaki. It covers me in red marks and damages my body. Sure, they healed up pretty well, all things considered. But years of being repeatedly exposed to experiments that had me use corruption of course left marks. Don’t worry tho. They don’t hurt. Not anymore.”

And there it was again, a wave of anger directed at the scientists who did this to Chuuya. Dazai wondered what his younger self felt when he saw his Chibi get hurt in these experiments… Hopefully, he’d find out soon. 

Chuuya smiled a little. “I know that expression on your face. Let me guess… You want to murder someone?” He asked. Dazai’s glare hardened. “A little, but also… I don’t think that’d look good on my record. We’re trying to prove that this isn’t our fault. Pretty sure murdering someone would lower the chance to win this. Still…”

He brought Chuuya’s arm up to his face and placed a soft kiss on one of the corruption scars. 

“I think they look pretty on you. Just wish they wouldn’t have hurt you so much.”

There was a sparkle in Chuuya’s eyes. Something warm and familiar… And it made Dazai feel all fuzzy inside.

“Thanks, Mackerel. That’s awfully sweet of you.” Chuuya spoke softly, cheeks tinted pink. Dazai grinned and pulled back. “Let’s get going now. Bet they’re already waiting for us!”

The softness was gone from their expressions once they stepped out of the changing rooms once more. But Dazai didn’t mind. Because he knew they could go right back to that feeling once they were alone again.

They were brought to a room with barely anything in it besides two beds, a table and two chairs in the exact same color of the rest of the room.

Well, the exact same color of almost the rest of the room.

Chuuya walked up to a bed and hummed.

“We were almost correct. That actually might be hex code #F1FFFF.”

Witnessing the utter confusion on the scientists’ and Ango’s faces almost made Dazai laugh.

Chapter Text

“Alright boys, it’s almost time for you to be on your own.” Ango spoke after they were alone in the room. “Do you remember everything we talked about?” Dazai gave him a nod. “Sure do. We’ll be careful. …Actually, what about the cameras in our room? Are they?-” “They do work, but no one will be watching you as they’re focused on the subjects with higher security rankings. Still, just to be safe, make sure to check if the cameras are on before doing anything you’re not supposed to do. Phones, for example. You’re not supposed to have them. Only take them out if you’re sure no one is watching.”

Chuuya listened up. “Right! Our phones. You got ‘em?” Ango handed over both of them. Here. Keep them hidden alright? No one is allowed to see them. …If you want to carry them around tho, you’ll probably have to think of something.” Right. Their clothes didn’t have pockets.

…but Dazai had an idea.

“Can you give me your phone Chibi? I’ve got an idea what to do. It’s… Not the best solution by any means, but it’ll do until we figure out something better.” Chuuya looked at him confused, but still handed over his phone without hesitation. “Sure? I mean- I trust you.”

Both Chuuya and Ango stared at Dazai in disbelief as he executed his plan. He pulled up his shirt, holding it with his teeth. Then he loosened one end of the bandages wrapped around his torso and unwrapped them, before strapping both their phones to his side and wrapping the bandages around them once more, holding the devices in place. It worked exactly as planned. Not exactly the most comfortable solution… But at least their phones were hidden and safe.

“There we go. Problem fixed. …For now, at least. I’ll think of something better soon!” Chuuya shook his head, exasperated. “Your brain is so fucking weird.” Dazai smiled. “But it works, doesn’t it!” Chuuya seemingly didn’t wanna argue with that.

“If everything’s settled for now, I have to leave. I do still have an appointment with a subject to get to. Use the time between now and dinner wisely. Most people working here will be in the labs or offices and busy. Go around and acquaint yourself with the area. You’ll probably need it. Stay safe alright? Good luck on your mission.” A few minutes later, he was gone.

“Can we just.. Leave?” Chuuya asked, staring at the doorway like there was a wall blocking it off. Only that there wasn’t a wall. The door was open, giving them a view of the empty hallway outside. Dazai walked through the door and looked around. He couldn’t see anyone. “...Yea, it’s open! Come on!”

As he turned to look back at Chuuya, however, the other teen was frozen in place, still staring at the door as though he’d seen a ghost. And now, Dazai was worried. 

He waved a hand in front of Chuuya’s face, but his partner didn’t react. Didn’t even blink. His pretty blue eyes clouded over with something he couldn’t quite place. “Chuuya?” Dazai tried. No response. “Chibi?” No response either. Like Chuuya didn’t even hear him. Dazai walked back into the room, back to the other boy. And only when he got close, only when he placed his hands on his shoulders, did Chuuya blink back into reality. Dazai exhaled in relief. “There you are. You’re back.”

Chuuya seemed utterly confused for a second. “...What just-”, “You zoned out, staring at the door.” Dazai explained. Chuuya’s eyes widened, realization settling in, and then he sighed. “Sorry. My brain completely blanked for a moment there. Usually, stepping through a doorway like this without explicit permission would’ve gotten me punished.”

Right. Memories. Chuuya had memories. Dazai probably would react similarly if he did as well.

“Well, the door is open. And Ango-san said we’re free to walk around. So no one’s gonna stop or punish you this time. You’re no longer stuck back there, Chibi. We’re not prisoners. We’re allowed to move. I can… I dunno- Hold your hand if you're scared?” And upon the offer, Chuuya didn’t hesitate to reach out and intertwine their fingers.

“Just for the record: I’m not fucking scared. Just…” Dazai chuckled softly, squeezing the hand in his own. “I get it, Chibi. I’m not gonna make fun of you for this one. Promise. Now come with me will you? We’ve got a whole facility to explore!” And this time, with Dazai pulling him along, Chuuya didn’t freeze up as the two of them walked through the door and outside.

Most of the doors they walked past were closed. Though they all had windows to look inside. But upon looking through, Dazai couldn’t see anything of note. All of them looked the same. One, two or more beds. Shelves or closets, tables and chairs. All in the same shades of white. Every door had one or multiple name plates next to it, though the ‘names’ were nothing more than the number codes given to subjects, all of them prefixed with Z.

“Damn. This place looks fucking sad.” Chuuya commented. It didn’t matter whether they looked back or ahead. It was all the same. Like a neverending liminal space, trapping everyone who dared to step inside forever. Thankfully, Dazai made sure to keep a record of where they came from and where they walked in his head. They’d be fine. They’d find their way back.

Thankfully, the hallway was, in fact, not endless. And soon enough, the one path forward split up in three different directions. Signs on the wall pointed in the directions ‘Infirmary’, ‘Laboratory tract’ and ‘Courtyard’. Looking back at the hallway they came from, it was titled ‘Living quarters security ranking Z’ 

Z, hm? Ango told them that he made sure they’d be registered under the lowest security ranking. So if that was Z then…

A5158

A0

Well, that was interesting. Understandable for Chuuya, sure, considering he had something sealed in his body that easily destroyed an entire facility and killed thousands of people. But why did Dazai get an A as well? He wouldn’t exactly call his ability dangerous. It was just.. Nullification. He decided not to think about that part too much for now. Instead he tugged Chuuya along in one of the three directions. “Let’s go check out this courtyard area first. We can always come back later and look at the others as well.”

Turns out they didn’t have to walk for too long until they reached the so-called courtyard. And Dazai was genuinely surprised when they stepped out into the light, just to look up and see the real , actual sky above them. Wide and blue, just like it was outside. Both teens stopped in their tracks and stared.

“...Well this is certainly an upgrade from the D-3 cells.” Chuuya mumbled after a while, turning to look at Dazai. “Got a feeling this might be the place where the subjects spend their free time. Look. It’s like a park or some shit.”

And really, as Dazai looked around and took in the sights, the area looked like something from a city. Stone paths winding between fields of grass and flowers, a few trees and perfectly trimmed bushes. An area with tables and chairs that looked like the outside area of a coffee shop, a playground, a soccer field…

The only thing that wasn’t like the city were the white walls blocking off anything that wasn’t the sky. As well as the fact that there were no people around. Not a single person. The area was deserted.

“I think this might be the subjects’ reality. The place they remember.” Dazai spoke. Chuuya quietly nodded along. “Bet all of them are here during their breaks. It’s nice to spend an afternoon at, for sure. But doing so over and over and over again, every day. Really doesn’t sound fun at all.”

“It’s exhausting.” A new voice appeared behind them. Dazai and Chuuya both whipped around. And then they stood face to face with a young child, wearing a prison jumpsuit like the teens did, hugging a horrid doll that looked straight out of a horror movie close to their chest. The kid had split hair, white and brown, and dull, yellow-black eyes, staring at them with a darkness Dazai was all-too-familiar with.

“...Hello?” Chuuya asked, exchanging confused glances with Dazai. Dazai knew what he meant. This kid.. Wasn’t currently involved in an experiment. They hadn’t seen a single subject up till now. But here they were. The child smiled and squeezed their doll. “Hello! Are you new? I’ve never seen you before!” Chuuya looked a little out of it, and so Dazai decided to take over speaking.

“Yup. We’re new here. And you? Who are you, and why are you the only person we’ve seen since we got here around an hour ago? I thought everyone was busy with experiments. But you… You’re just- out here?” The child looked up at him and blinked. “I’m Q. I’m always out here. They can’t experiment on me. And you… You’re also out here. Not being experimented on. That makes us three!” What a weird kid. But they didn’t seem hostile, at least.

“Well, Q. I’m Dazai. And this is Chuuya. And we just got here. Nice to meet you.” Q grinned. “Mhm! Nice to meet you too! Do you want me to show you around?” And well, the doll was absolutely freaky, and the kid was strange, but also… Having a guide sounded like something that could be useful. Especially now, considering they didn’t yet have any idea of what this place looked like outside of a map. And so, after making sure Chuuya was okay with this, Dazai agreed to let Q show them around the area.

“This is where we go for our after lunch break! Most activities are here. Though they all get boring after you’ve done them for the thousandth time. But everyone’s always so happy doing them, because they don’t properly remember doing them the day before, and the day before, and the day before… The amnesia curse makes them happily relive the same day over and over again.” Q spoke softly as they jumped from stone to stone along the side of the playground. 

Dazai raised an eyebrow. “You know of the amnesia curse?” He asked. The kid listened up. “You do, too? But you’re new!” Chuuya was the one to continue. “Yup. We’re new. But we’ve previously spoken to a subject who was immune to the amnesia effect and told us all about it. So I assume you’re immune too?” Q shook their head. “Not immune. But they can’t make me take the medicine. I refuse to take it. And if they force-feed me they hurt me. And they can’t hurt me.”

Now, Dazai was very curious as to who this child was. “They can’t hurt you? Is that also why they can’t experiment on you? Why’s that?” Q stopped skipping and turned over to the two teens. And with them standing there, on the rocks, the three of them were now roughly the same height (Except for Chuuya. Because Chuuya was tiny).

“It’s my ability. I can mind control and torture anyone who hurts me. Therefore they can’t hurt me, because that would mean I could make them suffer or go insane. They have no way of controlling it. So until they do… I’m not being experimented on, nor am I given amnesia. But it doesn’t matter anyway. Because no one would believe me if I told them that they’re being brainwashed. They all just think I’m insane.” The kid hugged their doll closer. And Dazai felt bad for them. Not because they weren’t given amnesia or suffering, no. But because it surely didn’t feel too great for everyone to think you’re insane. 

He carefully reached out and petted Q’s hair.

The kid’s eyes widened and they stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t just- Are you insane?! Do you have a death wish?! You can’t just touch me and- Wait.” The kid immediately calmed down and blinked at him like they’d seen a ghost. “You’re not.. Affected?”

Dazai, still in slight shock from Q’s sudden outburst and clutching onto Chuuya’s hand, was thoroughly confused. “Not affected by what?” He asked. Q slowly reached out to him. “C- Can I see your hand?” Dazai exchanged concerned glances with Chuuya, but still allowed Q to take a look. Q huffed, surprise evident in their voice.

“Usually, whenever anyone touches me and it hurts me, it leaves a mark on them. A mark that indicates that they can now be affected by my ability. But you don’t have a mark…” They trailed off. Then they looked up again. “Who are you?”

Well, if only Dazai was able to answer that question himself. At least his partner seemed to have an idea. Or at least something to say. Chuuya stepped forward. “If it’s your ability that does it, then it’s clear why Dazai’s unaffected. He’s immune to abilities. So… No hurting him with any of them!” At Chuuya’s words, Q seemed surprised, relieved, and very curious.

“Really?! That’s super cool, actually! So I can just…” The kid reached out to poke Dazai’s hand. Dazai let them. Still, nothing happened. No mark appeared, it didn’t feel weird. It was just… A tap. But Dazai did feel the slight shiver on his skin that happened whenever he nullified an activated ability.

Before he could say another word tho, he was tackled in a hug. Q was… hugging him?! Dazai stared down at the child surprised, eyes wide. There they were, clinging onto Dazai like they hadn’t felt human contact in years. Dazai helplessly looked up at Chuuya, not knowing what to do with this situation. But of course Chuuya just chuckled fondly, shrugging dramatically, as though there was nothing he could do. Dazai glared at him. But then he looked down at Q and sighed, resting a hand on their head. Like this, they reminded him a bit of whenever one of Oda’s kids had a nightmare and came to him for comfort…

After a while, Q pulled back and pushed Dazai over in Chuuya’s direction. “Sorry, you can have him back now. I just…” Dazai was caught by a familiar pair of arms. Chuuya. Who easily settled one arm around Dazai’s waist and leaned in his side, finishing Q’s sentence. “You just wanted to remember what hugging someone feels like?” The kid nodded quietly. Dazai could see a smile on Chuuya’s face. His partner really was good with children… Probably because he spent eight years watching over a group of them.

“Well, can’t really blame you kid. He is quite huggable once you get over how annoying he can be.” Chuuya responded. Dazai went completely red. “What the heck Chibi!” Chuuya only laughed. “Just the truth, Mackerel!”

—

The small group of three kept walking around the place for a while, stopping occasionally to sit down and chat. Turns out, Q had razors taped to their arms via bandages. A tactic they came up with so anyone who touched them would automatically hurt them and therefore be cursed. They said that it was very effective to make sure none of the scientists could get close to them for experiments or other. A smart technique, sure. But most definitely not healthy. Both teens tried telling them that… But Q, while aware, didn’t care and said that they’d stop at nothing to make sure they couldn’t torture them with experiments.

Q did, however, seem quite happy when they realized that both they and Dazai had bandages covering their arms. Dazai had a distinct feeling that this kid liked him. Hm. Maybe he did have some things in common with Oda.

It was getting later and later. They didn’t have a watch, and looking at their phones would be too risky with all the cameras around. But looking at the sky and the way the sun lit up their surroundings, they could tell that it was getting later. And as it got later, the facility came to life. Well… Kind of.

“Is it just me, or are there more and more people around?” Chuuya asked. Q hummed and squeezed their doll. “It’s almost dinner time. All the scientists are now gonna go to the experiment rooms and get their subjects. They should be in the cafeteria soon. We should go too! You’ll get food, and you’ll also see just how bad the situation is. Plus… I want you to meet my friends! They’re like me! Well, kind of. They at least remember. As opposed to just about anyone else in this place.” Q’s friends, hm? Subjects who were unaffected by the amnesia. Well, that would surely prove to be interesting. Dazai wondered what kind of people they were.

The kid led them to the cafeteria. And as soon as they stepped into the room, a massive amount of pain, sorrow and suffering hung in the air, almost feeling like it could squish them. Dazai wearily stepped closer to Chuuya. And Chuuya, as always, was right there to keep close to his side.

The cafeteria wasn’t quite filled yet, but every person in here looked like they wanted nothing more than to die at the moment. Subjects of all genders and ages sat at the tables, staring at the air in front of them. The room was filled with people. But no conversation was happening. Like they were all caught in their own worlds.

When they walked past the first lunch table, Dazai picked up on the mumbled words of an adult male, sitting on the bench and gripping onto the table tightly. His eyes were wide, panicked, and he wasn’t blinking once, repeatedly mumbling the phrase ‘stop it’ over and over and over again, almost manic. 

A look to the other side faced Dazai with the picture of a young woman on the verge of a mental breakdown, holding a crying girl, close on her lap, clinging onto the small child like she was the last thing grounding her into reality. She petted the kid’s hair softly, and mumbled that everything was gonna be okay, but she herself looked frightened whenever anyone as much as breathed in her direction.

They passed by a third table. Sitting on one of the benches was an old man. Well, not sitting, no. He was lying on the table. Eyes glassy, staring into nothingness, unmoving and so dull, Dazai couldn’t even see his own reflection. A boy, maybe ten or eleven, repeatedly shook the old man’s shoulder, asking him to wake up in a quiet voice. But just the lack of movement and the pale skin tone made Dazai genuinely doubt he’d ever get up again. And even if he did, he looked like he wouldn’t last another day.

Dazai averted his eyes from the scene. As he refocused on his own body, he realized he was shaking. And he wasn’t the only one, no. Because next to him, Chuuya had the same exact reaction.

Chuuya. Must protect Chuuya.

Dazai pulled himself together, forcing his shaking to subside. Instead, he pulled Chuuya’s smaller body in his arms. It made walking a little difficult but… The way Chuuya silently looked up at him before nuzzling closer made it worth it.

Q looked up at them and sighed. “As you can see, the situation isn’t the best.” They spoke quietly. The understatement of the century. “They’re all suffering. And yet, by tomorrow, none of them will remember a thing. If that old man doesn’t make it through the night or even through dinner, his grandson will wake up tomorrow, not remembering what happened to him beyond knowing he suddenly disappeared. No one will remember him. No one will mourn at his grave. He won’t even have a grave. He’s gonna be disposed of without any remorse whatsoever. And then he’ll be gone from the world, including any memories anyone has of him. That’s the way things are in here.”

Q’s words were harsh. But Dazai knew they were real. And they made dread creep up inside of his heart.

He held Chuuya tighter. A feeling that, despite the situation, was comforting.

“My friends and I usually sit over there, in that corner. It’s further away from everyone, so we don’t have to watch the guards force-feed those who don’t want their food. It also means we can talk freely, because there’s no one standing right there with us to listen to our every word. No scientist, no subject. Just us. It’s safe for us.”

Dazai skillfully ignored the tortured screams at a nearby table where such a ‘force-feeding’ seemed to be happening. He dug his fingers in Chuuya’s arm. Chuuya’s breathing was heavy, stressed, and he looked like he was gonna throw up, clutching onto Dazai like his life depended on it.

This could’ve been us.

Dazai’s brain supplied helpfully. If they would’ve gotten caught, this might’ve actually happened to them. And according to the way Chuuya was reacting, this might’ve actually been them in the past.

“There they are!” Q exclaimed, skipping ahead and waving at Dazai and Chuuya to follow them. Dazai was trying to imagine what these friends of Q looked like but… The moment he spotted them, it was as though all air left his lungs at once.

Because it was right then and there that he locked eyes with ones so painfully familiar it nearly gave him a heart attack.

It felt like it had been an eternity. And maybe it had. Dazai lost track of how much time passed since he last saw him. And yet, despite the circumstances, his eyes looked kind as ever, growing softer as they recognized him.

Now Dazai was the one shaking, though not with horror, but with so much else. Chuuya tugged him closer.

Odasaku.

He was right. Fucking. There.

Chapter Text

Dazai wasn‘t sure how to feel. He wasn‘t even sure what he was feeling. All he knew was that Oda was here in the facility. He found him again. Most definitely not where he wanted to find him, but at least he wasn‘t dead.

Still, the last few meters they walked to the table felt like the longest few meters of his entire life.

It was pretty damn difficult not to just run over and hug Oda, but if he did that and anyone saw, they’d know that he and Oda knew each other. And from there on it probably wasn’t too difficult to figure out he and Chuuya were the people he protected which really wouldn’t be good for their current mission. They had to be careful.

Dazai’s eyes didn’t leave Oda once as he, Chuuya and Q sat down at the table. Oda looked… concerned. Really concerned. Right. They were undercover as imprisoned subjects. He should… Probably clear that up before Oda thought they really somehow managed to get themselves caught. He took a look around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, then turned back to the others. “Here by choice.” He merely mumbled, putting a finger to his lips in a shush motion. Oda’s eyes widened, before he responded with a nod.

Q looked at the motion, confused. Looks like they didn’t have any idea what was happening. But Oda just smiled. “He’s something special.” He then said, without context whatsoever. But it seemed like it made something in Q’s brain click and their eyes widened. They looked back at Dazai and Chuuya, then at Oda, then at Dazai and Chuuya again, and then there was suddenly a spark of something in their eyes. Hope, maybe? They were a little difficult to read. But judging by the way Q reacted, Oda had told them about Dazai and Chuuya before. And apparently, it seemed to be good things.

Oda… really did care about him a lot.

Honestly, the situation was a little too much for Dazai’s brain to process properly.

It had been quite some time since they were separated. But to Dazai, it felt like it happened an eternity ago. Then again. These past weeks have been a roller coaster. Meeting Chuuya, getting discovered by the government, fleeing from the government, finding new friends, finding a home in a place Dazai didn’t even know existed for a long time… And of course everything surrounding their little adventure to the old facility.

Change. A lot of change, in fact. But Dazai liked to think he was adapting well enough.

Still… Seeing Oda again like this, after not even having been sure he was even still alive , it certainly did a number on Dazai’s heart. And he couldn’t even say hi properly! All of them were stuck trying to act like they’d never seen each other before. And it was so hard to do… Dazai wanted to jump over the table and make sure his friend really was there, was okay. But he couldn’t. The government most likely knew that Chuuya had been with Oda at the time of the capture. That Chuuya had fled with Dazai. And a whole group of guards saw them. One wrong move and every scientist present in the room would know that their most wanted subject and his partner were here.

So for as much as Dazai wanted to greet Oda properly… They had to act casual. For now. But you better believe he was gonna squish Oda the moment he got the chance!

Act casual.

His wandering thoughts were soon interrupted by two more people joining their table, looking tired and exhausted. A boy, a little younger than Dazai himself, and a girl, much younger, but not quite as young as Q.

“We have newcomers?” The girl asked, her blue eyes staring holes into the two teen boys. Dazai shuddered. She had a certain look in them that could probably kill a person. Oda nodded. “Looks like we have two more friends. Ones not quite unfamiliar if I may say so…” 

The boy gasped and leaned over the table, inspecting Dazai closely who wasn’t quite sure how to react and only side-eyed Chuuya in silent confusion. Though his partner just watched instead, giving him an encouraging pat on the back.

“Wait a minute… Is that..-?!” The boy started. “Shhhh.” Oda responded, though he did give him a small nod. The boy immediately sat down and looked at Dazai with a few sparkles in his eyes. “I’m Atsushi! And that’s Kyouka-chan! And it looks like you already met Oda-san and Q?” There was something about this boy, now that Dazai looked at him… Something that made him do a double take. Silver hair… A.. quite strange haircut. He was sitting at the table with Oda and Q who seemed like they hadn’t lost their memories…

Wait.

Dazai looked at Chuuya, and Chuuya looked right back, and it was as though their brains silently communicated with one another, sharing the same exact thought. Maybe, just maybe, they might’ve actually accomplished part of their mission. Dazai didn’t stop for a moment to ask the question.

“Do you happen to know a subject with an ability that lets him control clothing and use it as a weapon or armor? Black hair, frosted tips, has a little sister?” Both Atsushi and Kyouka stopped moving immediately and just- stared at each other for a moment. And Dazai didn’t even have to hear their answer to know that this was the person Akutagawa spoke of.

“Y- Yea, I do. Why? Do you… Know him?” Atsushi asked. Dazai nodded. “We’ve met him. He told us to find you!” At that, Atsushi seemed completely taken aback. Like he hadn’t expected this at all. He carefully leaned on the table. “Is he..?” Dazai gave him a small nod. “He’s okay and safe, you don’t need to worry.

Well, looks like they found someone else to break out of this facility. A few other people, in fact. Oda and Atsushi, of course. But Dazai for sure would not leave Q and Kyouka behind either. It’d be optimal if they could actually manage to get everyone out of here but… Just looking at the sheer number of broken, brainwashed subjects in this room made any kind of hope fizzle out.

They’d probably need a miracle to actually fix this. Or a really good plan. And right now, they didn’t have any more room for plans. Not before recovering Dazai’s memories.

“Careful.” Chuuya hissed under his breath, nudging Dazai’s side. Dazai’s head snapped around and he realized that a person was coming towards their table. Someone with an all-white lab coat, carrying a big tray of… less than appetizing looking food. Scientist. Dazai’s brain screamed danger. And so he made sure to play up his best dead inside expression to make the whole depressed subject act more believable. Though he really had to make sure not to grimace when both he and Chuuya received some plain white rice with cut up vegetables slapped on top.

“You two aren’t in the meal plan yet. Therefore you’ll receive our standard meal today.” The scientist spoke with a monotone voice. Neither Dazai nor Chuuya responded, waiting until the person was gone again. They didn’t exactly feel like talking to a scientist right now.

Eventually, after their food was deposited on the table, Dazai picked up some of the rice along with a piece of carrot that looked too dry to be fresh and pushed it into his mouth, immediately grimacing. The carrot was too dry, the texture of the rice felt completely wrong in his mouth, and the whole meal kind of tasted like nothing. Still, it was probably the only thing he was gonna get, so he forced himself to swallow the food.

“...I miss Chuuya’s cooking.” He grumbled. Oda sent him a sympathetic look. “Better get used to this for now. Even once you’re in the meal plan it won’t get much better.” Well, Dazai guessed this was his life now. At least for the moment.

But as he sat there, poking at his food, a spoon appeared in his view. He looked up, surprised. And there was Oda, offering him a small smile. And Dazai smiled right back, happily accepting some of the curry Oda was giving him. 

…Of course he also shared his newly acquired curry with Chuuya.

And like this, the food immediately seemed to taste a bit better.

—

After dinner, Atsushi and Kyouka were unfortunately almost immediately pulled away by the scientists, probably to take them back to their rooms and put them to sleep. But Dazai knew they’d see them again the following day and hopefully have more time to talk.

Q didn’t get taken. Probably because they refused their medicine regardless. Oda also didn’t get taken. Though he was quick to explain that they couldn’t give him the amnesia meds because he was still technically registered as a subject working for the government. No one was allowed to medicate him except for the doctor in charge of him. And well… That doctor was Mori, so it made sense why he wasn’t given meds.

Some scientists appeared to take Dazai and Chuuya as well but…

“Could you not take them to their rooms quite yet? They’re new, and I’d like to show them around before they’re taken to bed.” Oda requested. The scientists looked sceptical. “Sir. We have orders to-” Oda immediately interrupted them. “I know, I know. But you also know that it’s recommended they familiarize themselves with their surroundings before the first night if you know what I mean.” That seemingly shut the scientists up.

One of them sighed. “Alright. I get your point. But please ensure they’re back in their room before 11 PM. Otherwise we will have to come and take them.” …And then, just like that, they were gone.

“...That was.. Unexpected.” Chuuya spoke quietly. Q perked up and nodded. “Surprising, we know! But the medicine does apparently have side effects that could lead to extreme disorientation the following day if the subjects aren’t familiar with their surroundings by then! So Oda-san has a point!” Well, wasn’t that convenient?

Oda stood up from the table and stretched. Well then boys. Come along. I… Know where we should go.

Somewhere where they weren’t under surveillance. 

Dazai just knew that this was Oda’s plan.

“Q, do you wanna come with us or are you tired?” Oda asked. Q jumped up with all the energy of a seven year old at 8 PM and hugged their doll close. “I’m coming along! Definitely not tired yet!” …Though the following yawn indicated the opposite.

Honestly, Oda watching over Q didn’t come as a surprise to Dazai at all. After all, his friend always had a soft spot for kids in difficult situations. Dazai himself, the orphan kids…

Right, Oda’s kids.

He’d have to ask him what happened there. Hopefully they were okay.

As they left the cafeteria and stepped back outside into the hallways, Dazai once again felt uncomfortable in his own skin. The halls hadn’t changed one bit. The lights weren’t dimmed or anything, it was just as bright as it had been the entire day. Dazai doubted the lights ever turned off. But now, after dinner, everything looked completely deserted once more. Just like when he and Chuuya first started walking along these halls. Though this time… They weren’t alone. Oda was there, and Q as well. And they were leading them in a direction with a clear destination in mind.

…A destination that apparently turned out to be a workshop or something? Dazai could at least spot quite a few utensils that could be used for crafts, art, and other stuff.

“This is one of the places subjects can spend their free time at. Take a look around. Do you notice something?” And so Dazai did. The tables and chairs… The shelves with all kinds of stuff on them… A large box with giant, rolled up sheets of paper… The ceiling… The lack of surveillance cameras…

The lack of surveillance cameras.

Next to him, Chuuya gasped. “Hold up… Are they not watching this room?” Oda hummed and nodded. They neither watch, nor listen. There’s no surveillance in this room. Which means…” And of course Dazai knew what that meant. “...That we’re not in danger of being found out if we talk about stuff in here!” Oda nodded again. “And that’d be correct, Dazai. So…

Dazai didn’t hesitate another second. He rushed forward and hugged Oda close, face buried against his chest. “Found you, Odasaku.” Above him, Oda chuckled and petted his hair. “You sure did. Honestly, I had my suspicions you’d show up here out of your own free will already. And let me guess, you already have a plan?” Dazai nodded. “Infiltrate the facility, find the archives, get my memories back. …And then I’ll be able to think of a proper way to get out. Ourselves, you, the others… And hopefully I’ll be able to make a change.”

Dazai kind of wanted to cry. Oda was here, actually here, weeks after their sudden separation… He was alive, breathing, and still the same Oda he knew. And he was not gonna allow the government to rip him away again. A message his friend understood, as he ruffled his hair affectionately. “Missed you too kid.” Dazai just hugged him closer.

A few minutes later, the two of them pulled away. Dazai turned over to look for Chuuya but… The other teen was already checking out the contents of a shelf at the other end of the room, Q right next to him, looking like they were explaining something to him.

“Did Chuuya-kun take good care of you?” Oda asked with a teasing smile. Dazai found himself blushing. “H- He sure did… No matter how difficult I was being. We went through a lot since you saved us and he hasn’t left my side once. I-” He stopped speaking for just a moment, realizing what he was about to say, and he found himself growing even more red. Turns out he didn’t have to say a word for Oda to understand.

“You like him a lot, hm?” Dazai sighed dramatically and rubbed his cheeks with his hands, trying to rid himself of the blush. “...Yea I do.” He then admitted quietly. Oda shook his head, amused. “I’m not surprised. From the first night I saw you two sleeping in one bed, I had a feeling where this was gonna go. And you two really do fit together well. Have you…” Dazai shook his head. “Haven’t confessed yet. But…” Oda raised an eyebrow. “But?” Dazai zoned out, looking at Chuuya… The other teen seemed to have found what he was looking for and was telling Q about it who had an excited expression on their face.

“I think he knows. I’m sure he knows. And… I think he might like me too.” He admitted quietly. “Oh?” Oda asked. “Then… Why haven’t you confessed yet?” Dazai shrugged. “I.. Wanna wait until I get my memories back. And then we’ll figure out the rest.” Oda hummed quietly. “Your memories, hm? So… You have a better idea of who you are now?” Dazai nodded quickly. “That I do. I’m a subject, going by the code A0. The scientists wiped my memories prior to the subject outbreak, presumably because something happened. Something extreme, involving Chuuya.” Actually… Did Oda even know?

“Arahabaki, hm?” Scratch that, he most definitely knows. “You found out too?” Dazai asked. “Yea. Back when they apprehended me, one of the guards referred to Chuuya-kun as Arahabaki. You certainly made yourself a friend. But… Judging from what you just told me, you knew him before?” Dazai smiled a little. “Yea… Turns out we actually grew up together in the facility. We were meant to be partnered up since Chuuya can’t control Arahabaki but my ability can stop him. They intended for us to work as a team, a unit, right from the start. So… We’ve known each other since we were little kids. I just forgot because my memories were wiped, and Chuuya realized it when I first showed him my ability. He did keep it to himself for a while tho. But eventually he told me.”

Oda listened to every word and then sighed. “That makes a lot of sense, actually. Y’know… Back when I found you shortly after the outbreak, when you were delirious from blood-loss and barely conscious, you kept mumbling ‘A5158’ over and over again. I never knew what it meant but… Now I get it. It’s Chuuya-kun’d code, right?”

Dazai was surprised. He’d said Chuuya’s code..? Despite not remembering? That, along with the fact that he somehow still actively stopped Chuuya from corruption after having his memories wiped, made him feel like there were some things the amnesia couldn’t get rid of. His connection to Chuuya… Has it really been that strong? He really wanted to find out.

“Yea, that’s his code. I… assume there’s some things that will never be able to just get deleted from my brain.” Oda nudged his side softly. “The power of love, kid…” Dazai swatted him away, blush overtaking his cheeks once more. “Shut up Odasaku.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Chuuya calling them over. “Mackerel, come here. Got a better solution for our phones!” He exclaimed. Dazai blinked, surprised. Right, their phones. He’d almost forgotten about them. But now he did feel the devices pressing uncomfortably into his side. Oda looked at him, surprised. “Phones? How did you-” Dazai grinned. “Ango-san helped us!” Before he walked over to Chuuya and Q.

Chuuya held up some pieces of white fabric. Q a needle and some string. The kid pressed their items into Dazai’s hands swiftly. “Chuuya-san had the idea to sew pockets on the inside of your jumpsuits!” Which… Actually wasn’t a bad idea. “Damn, you do have a brain, Chibi!” He said. Chuuya rolled his eyes. “Shut up Mackerel. Or I’m gonna personally stab you with that needle.” Dazai clutched onto his chest and gasped, offended. “Chibi! You wouldn’t stab your favorite person now, would you?” He asked with a pout. Chuuya scoffed, amused. “Maybe I’ll reconsider if you stop giving me stupid nicknames.” Both of them knew neither meant the other any actual harm.

Dazai took the fabric and inspected it, along with his jumpsuit. “Before we do that… We gotta figure out how to make sure no one sees we made these pockets. Which shouldn’t be too difficult as these are made out of multiple layers of fabric but… Making sure we don’t actually stab through to the outer layer is gonna be annoying.”

Oda walked up to them and held out his hand. “Careful boys. Don’t worry, I can show you how to do it.” The teens happily accepted the help.

—

“...Aaaand there we go.” Dazai spoke, finishing up the last stitch of his sewing project and holding up the finished jumpsuit. No one would suspect the presence of pockets in these. The stitches were a little wonky but… who cares. No one was gonna see them anyway. As long as the pocket fulfilled its intended purpose, Dazai wouldn’t complain.

Sewing in the pockets took them around one and a half hours. It was getting pretty late by now. Soon enough, they’d have to return to their rooms.

Dazai wasn’t tired yet. Neither was Chuuya who also just finished his. Though the same couldn’t be said for Q, as the kid had fallen asleep about half an hour ago, curled up next to Dazai, hugging their doll close. Dazai didn’t mind. They really seemed like they could use some rest.

“They like you.” Oda spoke quietly, taking a look at the kid. Dazai petted Q’s hair carefully. “I think they’re just happy there’s someone they won’t curse upon touch.won’t curse upon touch.” He responded. Which actually reminded him of something…

”Speaking of: Where are the kids..? Are they okay?” Dazai asked. Oda’s expression turned solemn and he sighed. “They’re okay. Ango gave them a place to stay while I’m stuck here.” Dazai sighed in relief. At least the kids were safe and not left on their own. But of course Oda still missed them. They were his kids… Dazai missed them too.

“We’ll get you out of here.” Chuuya chimed in, looking up at the older male. “And then you get to be free, and you can go back to your kids.” Oda smiled. “You sure you two can do this?” Chuuya shrugged and scooted closer to Dazai’s side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “We’ve fucked over a facility before and we could absolutely do it again.” He said, confidently. Dazai chuckled. His Chibi… always ready to fight.

“Yea, but maybe with less bloodshed this time? Pretty sure it’ll be more difficult to convince the government we’re humans too if we kill a bunch of them again.” Chuuya sighed, even sounding somewhat disappointed. “Yea, guess you’re right. But we’ll figure it out anyway. But first we need to get Zai’s memories back. That’s our most important mission at the moment.” Oda sighed and leaned back. “...Which means you’ll have to make it to the archives, right?” Dazai rested his weight on Chuuya. “Yup. The most guarded place in this entire facility and we’ll have to sneak in. We got the building plans but…” Oda tilted his head. “How in the world did you get those?!” Dazai smiled. “Mori-san!”

At the mention of Mori’s name, Oda looked at them surprised. “You’ve… Actually met him?” He asked. Chuuya nodded. “Sure did. The old man used to be one of our caretakers back when we were kids. We met him, we met Fukuzawa too. And we also met a bunch of other people who helped us. We gotta introduce you to them once we get out of this hell.”

Oda shook his head in mild disbelief. “Never thought I’d see the day Dazai would actually allow other people in his life. He’s always kept to himself. Even when we made new friends and acquaintances over the years.” Dazai blushed softly and sent Oda a glare. “Hey now! Desperate times call for desperate measures! I wasn’t that bad!” Oda gave him a deadpan look. “Sure, Mr I’m-staying-in-my-room-whenever-new-people-visit-us.” Dazai decided to not grace these ridiculous and absolutely wrong accusations with a response.

Chuuya laughed. “I’m doing my best to socialize him, don’t worry. He’s doing pretty great, all things considered!” And then he sighed and his expression got a little more serious. “…I just hope he can keep this up once he remembers.” Chuuya pulled him closer. Dazai had the feeling he was trying to protect him from his memories. Though he genuinely had no idea what could be so unbelievably bad.

”Actually, Oda-san. You should come with us. It’ll be a lot to process. And I’m not quite sure I’ll be enough.”

Actually? How bad can it be?

“To the archives?” Oda asked. Chuuya nodded. “Yea, you should come with us. If that’s okay?” 

Oda’s expression softened. “Of course. I’ve watched over this guy for eight years. If something happens I wanna know and do my best to help.” He then took a look at the clock on the wall. “For now though, it’s late. So let’s go to bed and talk about this more tomorrow, alright?” Both teens nodded. “Alright.”

—

Dazai carried Q back to their room safely, setting them down in bed and tucking them in. And a few minutes later, Oda separated from them for the night. Dazai didn’t like letting him go. Because somehow there was some part of him that feared that if he did, Oda would disappear again. But Oda had ruffled his hair affectionately and promised they’d see each other the following day. Then Chuuya had tugged Dazai back to their shared room.

They received the medicine from the scientists and then proceeded to flush it in the toilet when no one was watching them. And then they went to bed. Separately first but… They should’ve known from the start that this wasn’t gonna work out. And so, barely 15 minutes after helplessly trying to fall asleep, Dazai heard Chuuya’s footsteps move through the room. 

The mattress dipped and he automatically moved to make space for his small partner who, immediately upon lying down, inserted himself into Dazai’s arms. They couldn’t care less if the scientists saw them like this. Who cares about their opinion anyway.

“Can’t sleep?” Dazai asked, wrapping his arms around Chuuya’s waist. “Never without you.” Chuuya mumbled softly, followed by a yawn that he immediately suppressed by burying himself in Dazai’s chest. Like this… he seemed even smaller if that was possible.

“Cuddling it is, then.” Dazai responded just as softly, face pressed into Chuuya’s hair. “Night Chuu.” He felt his partner smile against him. 

Then, suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, Chuuya leaned up and pecked Dazai’s lips softly. “I heard your conversation with Oda-san, by the way.” 

Dazai froze.

Oh no .

”W- Wait- What do you—”

Too late, Chuuya was already fast asleep.

…And Dazai felt like he was gonna explode on the spot.

Chapter Text

The following morning, upon waking up, Chuuya acted like nothing happened whatsoever… Meanwhile Dazai was still dying on the inside, face red and blushing every time Chuuya as much as looked in his direction. Because Dazai for sure couldn’t get that kiss and Chuuya’s words out of his head. Even if Chuuya acted like he hadn’t just given the other teen a heart attack.

Dazai didn’t have too much time to process anything, as soon enough, the door opened to reveal two people in lab coats. Dazai vaguely remembered one of them as the person who brought them the meds the prior evening.

“Did you two sleep well?” The woman asked, an overly bright, overly friendly smile on her face. Dazai felt a mixture of disgust and dread in his stomach. Nonetheless, he nodded. “We did.” The man at her side nodded, satisfied. “That’s good then. It’s time for breakfast! Follow us, will you?” And so the two teens did just that.

Walking through the facility now felt very weird. It was most definitely livelier than the day before, but it sure felt like whiplash to see subjects who’d been completely broken and exhausted during dinner happily walking around and chatting away with their assigned scientists.

The other subjects didn’t notice, but Dazai and Chuuya sure did. All the scientists had the same exact fake smiles on their faces, nodding and humming along to what they were told as though they were taking a leisurely stroll, just to move as stiff as living mannequins. Their expressions were practiced. Friendly, forced, and so, so false, it was almost painful to watch.

The male scientist at their side turned his smile to the two boys. “Say, what did your subject colleagues tell you yesterday? Hopefully only useful things?” Alright. Careful now. Do not let them notice. Dazai looked up at the man.

“They showed us around. And they told us about-...” He pretended to overthink, then turned to Chuuya, sending him a look. “What did they tell us again?” Chuuya, immediately understanding his mission, shrugged and tilted his head. “I.. can’t exactly recall anything beyond the locations of the different places. Probably wasn’t able to pay too much attention.”

The male scientist looked at them, then at his colleague, then the two nodded and continued leading the teens in the direction of the cafeteria. “That’s okay, you can tell us if you remember!” The woman spoke with a smile. Dazai gave her a small nod and walked closer to Chuuya’s side.

Stepping into the cafeteria for breakfast was a completely different experience from the day prior. It was as though suddenly, everything was filled with life. Subjects talked loudly amongst themselves, smiling and laughing, all despite a lot of them still sporting severe injuries. Like nothing ever happened. Like the dinner never occurred. Like they were never actively in pain whatsoever. Looking at this whole thing now, it was pretty terrifying.

The scientists left them at the entrance of the cafeteria, allowing them to look for their own spot. And of course the two teens immediately went off to sit down at the table Oda, Q, Atsushi and Kyouka would sit at. They knew their place.

Even now, it still feels kind of unreal. The fact that in just a moment, Oda would be sitting at the table and talking to them… Despite their situation, it gave Dazai some hope that they’d really be able to do this. And as expected, just a few minutes later, the male appeared with the others in tow, offering Dazai and Chuuya a small wave and a smile before sitting down at the table as well. “Good morning you two!”

Yea, this was definitely real.

“Don’t mind the idiot.” Chuuya commented, amused. “He still can’t believe that you’re here.” Dazai sent his partner a glare, Oda merely laughed. “It’s okay, don’t mess with him too much, hm?” Chuuya threw an arm around Dazai’s shoulders, effectively giving him yet another heart attack. “Don’t worry! Annoying him is how I show him that I love him.”

Yup. Dazai was dead. This wasn’t real. It was all a fever dream. Hopefully, at least. Because if it wasn’t, he didn’t know how long he’d survive this.

“You two sure have gotten close.” Oda teased gently. One day, all of them would collectively kill Dazai.

Sadly, or maybe thankfully (for Dazai’s heart), they couldn’t continue their conversation much longer as they were interrupted by the scientists setting their food down on the table. Dazai stared down at his very sad-looking plate of two pieces of bread with some cheese on top. At least Chuuya’s food didn’t look much better either so… They were suffering together.

“We need to find a safe time frame to talk.” Dazai spoke after making sure no one was listening to them. “We sure do.” Oda agreed. Kyouka raised her hand. “We should try during lunch break. Most subjects are outside and most of the time the scientists aren’t paying any attention.” Atsushi nodded in agreement. “We just have to pretend like we’re doing something and they won’t bother us.” Which was a start, at least.

“Then we’ll all meet up during after-lunch free time and figure out what to do next.” Chuuya agreed. Everyone was fine with that and so they continued eating their breakfast with a clear plan in mind.

Soon after eating, everyone else was whisked away for experiments again, leaving Dazai and Chuuya to wander the halls on their own. Not knowing what else they were gonna do, they sat down in the shade under a tree in the courtyard and listened to the silence around them.

In the outside world, there were at least birds and other animals. Wind rustling through leaves… But in here, surrounded by the giant walls and isolated in the middle of a government facility, no wildlife and no wind whatsoever reached them. Like this, everything felt much more artificial and much less alive.

Dazai couldn’t stop his brain from overthinking their sleepy conversation over and over and over again. Every few seconds, he’d look over at Chuuya to check if there was anything going on in his crush’s head, but Chuuya had his eyes closed and was leaning on the tree, calm as ever. If this went on for much longer, Dazai might end up thinking he imagined all of this.

That was until…

“I can feel you staring, y’know?” Chuuya asked quietly, one blue eye blinking open. Great. Looks like they were gonna talk, hm? 

Dazai wasn’t sure he was prepared for this conversation.

He sighed and turned to look at Chuuya directly. “Sorry- just.. Last night-” And… Holy crap, was that a blush on Chuuya’s face?

The redhead quickly turned away. “W- What about last night?” He asked carefully. Dazai’s hands tightened into fists. “Don’t play dumb, Chibi. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” And finally, finally, Chuuya turned over with a sigh, sitting across from him and looking right at him.

…He actually is blushing.

“Just- forget about it, Mackerel. It’s not important. I didn’t hear anything. We can just- move on from that. We don’t have to talk about it.” He spoke softly. Dazai shook his head and scooted closer. “But I think we should talk about it. What good is it gonna do if we get distracted from our mission because of a conversation that hasn’t happened yet but definitely should?”

Chuuya pulled his knees up to his chest and looked at Dazai softly. “We really are doing this right now then, hm?” Dazai nodded. “Yea, we are. I feel like this is something we’ve been dancing around for a while now. Better get it out of the way before it evolves into something that’s actually gonna be difficult.” Chuuya shrugged. “Guess you’ve got a point.”

They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. And eventually, Dazai took a deep breath and decided he might as well be the first to talk.

“You… certainly did turn my life around completely y’know? Who knew that saving a guy about to bleed out would somehow turn into this. But… I know more now. And I know that we’ve got history. Which makes what I’m feeling a whole more logical than it initially was.” He got more comfortable, absent-mindedly drawing symbols in the ground at his side. “But you know… As much as I hate to admit it, my first thought when I saw you slumped against that grocery aisle was that you were the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. Memories and prior connections aside.”

Chuuya looked at him with wide eyes before he swiftly whipped his head around, hiding his face. Then, voice stuttering like he was really struggling to say this out loud, he spoke up. “And maybe, just maybe, that was a fleeting thought in my head as well when I saw you in that store… Though I couldn’t put much focus on it, considering I was actively dying and all. Still… ‘Twas there.. And- It only got louder when I found out who you actually are.” An admission. Like… Like things might be mutual. And maybe there really was a chance.

“Really glad I found you when I did. Because if I hadn’t…” Dazai didn’t really wanna finish his thought, but Chuuya nodded like he understood. “You’d still be out there, and I might’ve been dead. You really saved my life there. And then you took me in and I just couldn’t help it and..-” Chuuya interrupted himself, taking a shaky breath. “I guess I have a type, hm?” He looked off to the side. “It felt right and wrong at the same time, and I was so fucking confused, and I didn’t know what to do with these feelings because I was still clinging onto the distant memories of the little boy that kept me alive during our days as lab subjects. But… Well, that confusion kind of just.. disappeared when I recognized you. And then everything was clear.”

Dazai pouted. This was supposed to be his confession! And now Chuuya was about to take that opportunity away from him! He should really shut his Chibi up! …Though he didn’t. Not yet. Not before all was said.

Dazai scooted closer to Chuuya. Their feet touched, and they could almost feel each other’s breathing on their faces.

“I was really confused too. Mainly because I never felt anything like this before. First I thought that maybe I was just happy because I finally met someone my age but… Deep down I already knew there was more to it. Mainly when my heart told me that I wanted you to stay even after your injuries healed up. It was stupid and I felt so strange about it… And then so much happened and despite it all you were just- There with me. And I trusted you so irrationally much, it had me confused. You just felt… So different. Like nothing I’ve experienced before. And then I talked to Rimbaud-san and well… Guess I had to accept that I like you a whole lot more than I expected to like anyone.”

And just like that, he’d said it out loud. Not directly but… The softening expression on Chuuya’s face confirmed that he knew what Dazai was trying to convey. And as he reached out to take Dazai’s hands in his own, squeezing them softly, Dazai knew he wasn’t alone with his feelings.

“You sure have gotten better at expressing your feelings since we were kids.” Chuuya spoke softly, tugging the other teen closer until he was basically sitting on his lap. Dazai intertwined their fingers. “I have?” Chuuya gave him a small nod in response. “Mhm. Back then you were so emotionally stunted that you could barely even grasp on the concept of affection. And whenever you were actually faced with it… You got really fucking embarrassed. Adorable, honestly.”

Dazai rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I’m sure that’s not true.” Chuuya smirked. “Oh but it is. Just you wait until you get your memories back.

They were quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. And then Chuuya leaned in and rested his head on Dazai’s shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. “You’re still shitty at hiding your feelings tho. Pretty sure I had a feeling you like me long before you figured it out for yourself.” Dazai hummed, resting his head against Chuuya’s. “Why’d you never say a word then?”

It took a moment for Chuuya to reply, but when he did, Dazai felt his partner’s eyes flutter closed against his neck. “‘Cause we had other things to worry about. Mainly: Your stupid amnesia. I was gonna wait to talk to you about this until we retrieved your memories. But I guess we might as well do it now. We are about to hopefully retrieve them anyway. …Guess I just wanted to make sure you’d know what you’re signing up for before you actually start dating me. And for you to get that full picture, you might wanna know what I was like when we were younger. That and…” He trailed off. Dazai squeezed his hands, asking him to continue. Chuuya remained hidden. But he pushed just a little closer into Dazai’s already compromised personal space.

“...I didn’t wanna ask you out and have you agree to dating me if it’s just out of a sense of obligation or as an apology for forgetting about me. I.. wanted to ask you out once I could be sure your answer would be genuine and not driven by guilt or any of that shit.”

And sure, what Chuuya had just said was probably important and all… But Dazai’s brain singled out the one very specific part of that sentence.

Chuuya wanted to ask him out.

Chuuya wanted to ask him out.

Chuuya wanted to ask him out!

Dazai’s entire body was suddenly filled with an uncontrollable warmth he didn’t know he could actually feel. He didn’t even care that Chuuya hadn’t even asked the question. Because memories or not, he knew his answer would remain the same.

“Yes!” Dazai exclaimed, louder than he originally intended. Chuuya pulled back with wide eyes. “What’re you talking about? I didn’t even–”, “ Yes , I do wanna go out with you!” Dazai interrupted, locking eyes with his partner. Apparently, the information took Chuuya’s brain a moment to process before he groaned and buried his face in Dazai’s chest.

“You’re so not fair, y’know?” The ginger mumbled. Dazai brought a hand up to pet his hair. “Hm?” He asked, voice warm, soft. Chuuya started repeatedly hitting his shoulder. “How the fuck am I supposed to resist and wait until you get your memories back when you look so fucking happy about this already?! You’re overthrowing my entire fuckin’ plan!” He complained. Dazai couldn’t help the small laugh bubbling up. “Sorry not sorry, Chibi~”

For a while they remained in their hugging position, until eventually, Chuuya pulled back and gently squished Dazai’s cheeks in between his hands. “For the record: If you end up regretting this, don’t act like I haven’t warned you, got it?” Dazai grinned, leaning into Chuuya’s touch. “Got it! But there’s no way I’m gonna regret this! I promise!” He responded. Chuuya just sighed and rolled his eyes. “You’re the worst, I swear. Just… Tell me if you change your mind after you get your memories back, okay..?” Dazai’s teasing smile gradually morphed into a much softer one. “Okay.”

For a moment, they just looked into each other’s eyes. Then Chuuya visibly melted and he tugged Dazai closer. And then his lips were on Dazai’s in an instant. And this time, Dazai kissed right back, completing what they’d gotten so close to so many times already.

—

“...I have a feeling we might’ve missed something.” Oda stated, looking at Dazai and Chuuya sitting across from him, leaning against the wall. Well, Dazai was leaning against the wall. Chuuya was huddled up in his arms like this was where he was always meant to be.

“Dazai-san and Chuuya-san are being gross.” Q commented, sticking out their tongue. Dazai gasped, offended. “We’re not gross! Just… Affectionate.” Their entire small group of friends sent them a deadpan look in return.

It was their lunch break free time and everyone was outside. And just as they planned, they had a meeting to think about what to do next. Currently, they were busy mentally mapping out the hallways to figure out the best way for Dazai, Chuuya and Oda to get to the memory archives with the other three acting as distractions for the guards.

Oda sighed. “You two talked, hm?” He asked. Chuuya responded with a nod. “Yea we did.” Oda shook his head, amused. “Figured. Just- don’t overdo it alright? Wouldn’t want the scientists’ attention on us now.” Dazai nodded. “Yea, we know.”

Their plan wasn’t complicated. Having allies to help them was certainly gonna make things a lot quicker. The group would sneak down into the deepest depths of the facility and once they were close enough, Atsushi and Kyouka would act as distractions. Q would come along as their emergency weapon, for as long as the kid was with them, even if the guards found them, they wouldn’t have an easy time getting to them without risking Q’s curse. And considering what that curse entailed… They might not even try in the first place. And if they did, anyway, they’d regret it immediately.

“So we’ve got it all set in stone, hm? Tonight, an hour after it’s time to sleep, Odasaku’s gonna leave his room and free Q, Atsushi-kun and Kyouka-chan. Meanwhile Chuuya and I are getting out on our own. We stick to the blind spots of the surveillance cameras and meet up at the intersection that leads to the laboratory track. Then all we have to do is manage to descend further and further down until we reach the core. Atsushi-kun and Kyouka-chan get on with their distraction plan, and the rest of us break into the archives and find my memories. Everyone ready?” Dazai repeated. His companions gave him collective nods. They were ready. Tonight would be the night they’d recover what Dazai had been missing for almost a decade. And now, the only thing they could do was wait for the right moment to come.

The day went on, just as any regular day in the facility would. Afternoon free time which the newly formed couple spent playing with Q, dinner amongst the suffering subjects, watching the misery (Dazai really wanted to do something to help these poor people), as well as their dose of medicine meant to delete their memories. They pretended to take their meds and then they pretended to sleep, though neither of the two would be able to regardless, entirely stuck thinking about what was to come.

Until an hour later, and it was finally time.

Dazai quickly checked the status of the camera watching their room, and as expected, it was turned off. They were safe. And so he sat up and quietly padded through the dark room, opening the door to the hallway just a little, checking if anyone was outside. And upon confirming, he called back into the room in a whisper, his boyfriend appearing right behind him.

“Let’s slip out quickly, while no one’s there.” Dazai whispered. Chuuya silently nodded and they stepped out into the dark hallway.

Fortunately, they had checked the positions of the cameras in front of their room already. And so it was easy for them to press close to the wall, staying just out of the detection range. Dazai was infinitely glad for his brain’s ability to walk down a path once and remember it forever, as it made navigation through this place much, much easier.

The two teens were the first ones to arrive at the intersection, but they only had to wait a few minutes for Oda, Q, Atsushi and Kyouka to join them as well. No conversation happened whatsoever. They all knew their plan, and they’d rather not risk it in case anything around recorded sound.

Turns out, getting through the laboratory tract was laughably easy. Looks like Ango had been right, telling them that most of the people left in the facility remained in their offices slash lab rooms. All they had to do was stay away from the cameras. It took a while, sure, but the deeper they moved, the less cameras were around, and the easier it was to get past them. And with the facility plan in his head, it didn’t take Dazai too long to figure out where they had to go.

Eventually, they stood in a long, long, very dark hallway with no more cameras and many nondescript doors. Dazai tightened his hold around Chuuya’s hand. “We’re outside of the surveillance zone now. The only people allowed to see this place are the head scientists and the specialized guards. What happens down here, stays down here. And our goal is the end of this hallway. Atsushi-kun, Kyouka-chan, get ready.” He whispered.

“Looking at this place now, after we’ve gone through the cameras, feels really eerie.” Atsushi mumbled. “What’re they doing in these rooms down here?” Dazai shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just think about the plan. Gotta stay focused.”

Which was only a half-truth. But honestly, Dazai wasn’t too keen on finding out what room descriptions like ‘Breeding Chamber’ or ‘Failed Subjects Disposal’ actually meant.

Next to him, however, Chuuya was breathing heavily. And Dazai had a feeling that his boyfriend knew . …And most likely not even exclusively because he’d read the room plan of the facility as well. And suddenly, Dazai was small again, and he was standing in a hallway just like this one, all alone. And he was terrified out of his mind.

Dazai blinked, and he was 15 again, surrounded by his companions. His legs moved, but the feeling of dread didn’t disappear. It just got stronger with every step he took. And the feeling of Chuuya desperately clinging onto his hand, looking like he was barely keeping himself from hyperventilating, didn’t really help too much.

They reached the end of the hallway and it opened into a giant room with a big, cylinder-shaped structure in the middle.

The memory archives.

One quick look around allowed Dazai to get an overview of the guard positions. There weren’t many, but the open nature of the room made it so they could see basically everything. He knew that once Atsushi and Kyouka went off, they had to be very quick about it.

Kyouka tugged on his sleeve and Dazai looked at her. The little girl communicated smartly through gestures, and Dazai immediately understood.

‘We lead the guards to the other side of the room and you rush to that door over there as quickly as you can.’

They’d have thirty seconds at best.

Thirty seconds to run across the room, pick the lock, and get into the memory archives.

Dazai exchanged a glance with Chuuya who nodded to signal that he understood. And as he looked over at Oda, the man had already picked up Q into his arms. Good idea. Q was small, they probably wouldn’t manage to run as fast.

Atsushi took a step away from the group, holding up his fingers as a counter

Three.

Two.

One.

A bright light as the boy transformed into a big white tiger.

Zero.

Tiger-Atsushi rushed into the room, followed closely by Kyouka who was yelling for the guards’ help to the best of her abilities. The guards who, upon recognizing the situation, immediately left their posts to chase after the tiger.

Now.

Dazai didn’t think he ever sprinted this fast in his life. Within four seconds he reached the door. Within another second he ripped out a hair pin from where he’d hidden it, and within a time of two and a half seconds he probably set a new lock picking world record along with opening the door.

Dazai threw himself into the pitch black room, and three more thuds as well as a clicking door later, they were inside.

For a few seconds, he just stayed on the ground, catching his breath. Then he sat up and located his phone that fortunately didn’t break, turning on the screen to send a dim light through the small hallway.

They made it.

A meter to his side, Chuuya sat, groaning in pain and rubbing his head. Another two meters further, Oda was crouched on the ground, checking a very disorientated Q for any major injuries.

“...We made it.” Chuuya whispered, in disbelief. Dazai couldn’t do much but nod, standing up on shaky legs and nearly falling over, just to be caught by his partner who steadied him with an arm. Oda walked up to them as well, Q next to him. “Gotta say kid, your lock-picking skills sure are something else.” He added.

They moved through the short hallway, and soon enough, it opened up into a big room, dimly lit by millions of weakly glowing lights on shelves.

No, not lights.

Test tubes. Filled with an undefined, luminescent substance. All the tubes were numbered, all of them codes. Subject codes.

Memories.

Those had to be the memories.

Chuuya let go of him and Dazai walked through the room slowly, very slowly. Z… Q… L… J…  F… E… D… B… Geez. They truly had the entire alphabet.

A.

Subject memories with the prefix ‘A’. This should be it. And so Dazai followed, walking along the shelf as the numbers descended. Lower, lower, lower, until he reached the very end of the row. And there he saw it. A glowing test tube with the code ‘A0’ on it. Such a small object, yet it meant infinitely much. This should be the part of him that was missing.

He stepped back from the shelf, right to Chuuya’s side who looked at the test tube, fascinated. “They… Really put your memories in there?” He asked. Dazai’s grip on the object tightened. “We’re about to find out, I suppose. I’m… Not sure what to expect.”

Oda appeared at his side, so did Q. “Open it.” The adult male spoke in that soft voice of his. Dazai looked up. “...You sure? This might change everything.” Oda petted his head softly. “So what if it does? They’re your memories, Dazai. They were taken from you against your will and you deserve to have them back. They’re part of who you are. And I’m sure you’ll find what you’ve been missing all these years.”

Q looked up as well and smiled. “We’ll be waiting here for you!” They hugged Dazai’s leg. “Just open it!”

Dazai looked over at Chuuya, and Chuuya looked right back at him. Then, the ginger leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. “Take your memories back, Mackerel. You promised, remember? You said you were gonna tell me you missed me once you get them! I’ll still hold you to that, got it?” And with their collective encouragement, Dazai turned the test tube over in his hand, staring at the code.

And then he popped off the lid, allowing whatever was in there to be freed.

Dizziness overtook him immediately, he barely even registered that he was caught by Chuuya’s familiar arms. 

And just like that, everything went black, and the world around him disappeared.

Chapter Text

Regaining his old old memories now, A0’s first memory of meeting A5158 wasn’t that fateful day they were introduced to each other to test the compatibility of their powers. Rather… It happened quite a bit earlier. Though A0 didn’t think A5158 remembered. Heck, even A0 himself couldn't recall the details for the longest time. Maybe because he was merely three years old back then. And it all happened because Dr Mori decided this was something A0 should know.

“Where are we going?” The small boy asked, clinging onto Mori’s lab coat. The doctor had taken him from his room after yet another painful session of blood-taking and was now carrying him carefully, as though he was something worth protecting. A0 didn’t understand why. Why was this one specific doctor so much different from all the others?

“Somewhere special. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Mori responded. Someone he wanted A0 to meet ? Something like this had never happened before! A0 hoped that whoever it was, they’d be nice to him.

The trip took quite a long time. And all A0 saw was the same, white walls, going deeper and deeper into the building. The walk took at least five minutes, but eventually they arrived in a dark, ominous hallway with many doors lacking descriptions. A0’s hold on the doctor tightened. Mori brushed a calming hand through his hair. “It’s okay, kid. Nothing bad is gonna happen to you.” A0 couldn’t do much else but trust his words.

Eventually, they arrived at one specific door. A0 listened as Mori’s keys turned in the lock and it opened to a dimly lit room, the light source being a glass tank at the wall and some machines attached to it. And in that glass tank…

“Human?!” A0 asked with wide eyes. Mori shut the door behind them and walked up to the tank, holding A0 up to see. “That is true, kid. It’s a human. A very special one at that.” A0 didn’t say a word. Instead, he just reached out and gently, very gently, placed a hand against the glass.

There, floating in the glowing blue liquid, was a real human. A child, probably no older than A0, his eyes closed as though he was unconscious. But as soon as A0's hand made contact with the glass of the tank, the boy rapidly faced him, revealing the most beautiful blue eyes in the world.

“…His eyes are sparkly!” A0 exclaimed. Mori let out a low chuckle. “Are they now?” A0 nodded, rapidly. “There’s stars in them!”

A0 hadn’t seen many stars in his life, spending most of his time trapped in a small white room. But the few times he did… They were unbelievably beautiful. And he was sure this boy’s eyes looked just like them.

The boy’s expression lit up. And slowly, oh so slowly, like an instinct, he swam closer to the glass and rested a small hand against the tank, right where A0’s own hand was. And it felt like an electric shock went from their hands, straight through A0’s entire body as he made indirect contact with the child  in front of him.

“One day, when you’re a little bit older, you will get to properly meet him. And then you’ll have to take very good care of him alright?” Mori asked. A0 looked up at him and nodded. “I will! I’ll keep him safe, no matter what!” Mori smiled. “And I absolutely believe you will, kid.”

—

The first time A0 was confronted with the consequences of the experiments they put A5158 through, it was shortly after they officially met for the first time. It was late, A0 was tired, but he still waited. He didn’t want to go to sleep without A5158 at his side. He couldn’t sleep without A5158 by his side. And so he sat up in his bed, blankly staring at the ground, losing track of time until eventually, the door opened and a small boy was pushed into the room.

The scientists didn’t speak, didn’t say a word. They just dragged the small ginger inside, pushed him on the ground, and then left the room as though nothing ever happened. A5158 was left on the ground, not saying a word either. And… He wasn’t moving either.

A0 immediately jumped up and ran through the room, flailing to his knees next to his friend and looking down at him with wide eyes, an uncomfortable feeling of dread in his heart. A feeling he never knew… Until A5158 entered his life and he saw how he was treated.

“Wake up!” A0 demanded, reaching out a hand and gently setting it down on the other boy’s shoulder. But if there was one reaction he didn’t expect, then it was A5158 flinching like he’d been burnt and scrambling to get away from him with all the strength he had left.

“Don’t touch me!” The boy yelled, eyes wide, scared, in so much pain… They were clouded over, like he didn’t even really realize what was going on around him. A0 got up and carefully walked up to the other boy. “A5158? Hey… It’s just me! A0! I’m not gonna hurt you, remember?”

The other boy was still staring at him like all he could see was a threatening presence in front of him. “Don’t come any closer. Don’t touch me. Leave me alone! I don’t want your stupid experiments!” He yelled, voice shaky. What was going on with him?!

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I promise!” A0 tried again, moving closer. A5158 backed off towards the wall. Further and further back, until he couldn’t any more and just curled up into a small ball, hugging his legs tightly. “Please… No more! Go away, leave me alone! Haven’t you hurt me enough already?” He whispered. A0’s heart hurt. A5158 didn’t even register that he was safe, didn’t know that the only person around was A0 who was most definitely not gonna hurt him. Like he was stuck viewing a completely different reality.

A0 sat down next to his friend, looking at him softly. A5158 was still hugging his legs, face buried in his knees. And from the tremors his body was undergoing he was actually crying… A0 wanted nothing more than to give him the biggest of hugs and tell him that everything was gonna be okay. That he wasn’t gonna get hurt. But like this… The other boy wasn’t reacting. He was stuck in this perception of reality where A0 didn’t exist.

A0, however, did have one more idea.

“Chibi?” He asked, using a nickname he came up with. A nickname that was sweet, that wasn’t a code, that the scientists didn’t know.

A5158’s eyes widened and he looked up. “...W- What?” He whispered. And suddenly, his eyes cleared up, even if it was just a little. This was working .

“It’s just me, Chibi. A0. I’m your friend, remember? I’m never gonna hurt you! I promise! Can you hear me?” A5158’s eyes watered, and it looked like the tears were slowly washing out the fog that had been covering the other’s perception of reality. “A.. 0..?” A0 nodded, scooting a little closer. “It’s me! A0! There aren’t any scientists around. You’re not being put through experiments anymore, Chibi. It’s just us…”

And then, as though he suddenly lost even the last bit of energy in his body, A5158 fell over to the side and curled up against A0 immediately. And this time, A0 was allowed to touch and even hug his friend without him getting scared. And so he did, pulling the smaller boy against him tightly in an attempt to protect him from the world.

“What did they do to you?” He asked quietly. A5158 sobbed and cuddled closer, so much closer, like A0 was the only thing he could cling to. And maybe he was.

“T- They.. They-” The ginger started, then his voice broke off and he couldn’t continue speaking, way too busy crying his eyes out. A0 held him close and rubbed his back in a comforting motion. “It’s okay Chibi. Let it all out, I’m here for you.” 

The next hour or so was spent with A5158 sobbing, and A0 holding him, until he had no more tears left and seemed awfully close to passing out on the spot. A0, being the good friend he was, carefully collected the boy in his arms and carried him over to one of their beds where they got under the covers and just- cuddled up close to one another.

“I’m sorry I didn’t immediately recognize you..” A5158 mumbled. “The scientists- They- They were all I could see..” A0 pulled his Chibi into his chest. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.” He said, tucking the other’s head under his chin. “Did they hurt you..?” A5158’s hold tightened, and that was answer enough. And when he did… A0 suddenly felt the very strong urge to hurt someone.

“They’re making me do resistance training. They say that I’m not strong enough for my purpose yet. They say that I need to be able to survive a little bit of pain if I wanna be useful. That’s why they hurt me… Just today they-” He took a deep, shaky breath. “They tied me to a chair so I couldn’t move. And then they sent electricity through my shackles. Over and over and over again. They didn’t care that I was screaming, didn’t care that I begged them to stop. They just- T- They just continued! Like they couldn’t hear me! And then they told me to shut up. A- And then the louder I begged, the more it hurt- and-”

A0 decided to stop him right there. Because the way A5158 was clutching onto him felt as though he was vividly remembering what happened. He didn’t want him to be hurt! He hated the way his sweet, bright Chibi looked so, so horrified… It was the worst feeling in the world. Worse than all the blades on his skin combined.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” A0 whispered softly. “I think I understand.” In response, A5158 cuddled closer, closer, until there was no more space left in between them.

That night, neither of them slept. Because A5158’s quiet, pained whimpering kept both of them awake until a new day rolled around and all of it would repeat. Again, and again, and again.

—

The first time A0 questioned (really questioned) his purpose in the world came during one of the times where he was sitting in a stale, white room on a stale, white chair while unnamed scientist no. 47 was polishing the razor blades about to get slid across his skin.

A0 didn’t know who he was meant to be or what he was meant to do. All he ever knew was that the scientists were after his blood. That and the fact that he was somehow meant to work along with A5158. Though how was still a mystery to him, as the two of them had never been taken for an experiment together after that initial first time they were introduced.

So… Was his only purpose truly to serve as a blood source for… Something?

The scientist walked up to him and held out his hand. And without even bothering to protest, A0 held out his arm in return.

The cut didn’t hurt. None of them hurt anymore. Well, they did but… A0 was growing used to the pain. So he didn’t bother screaming, didn’t bother hissing, didn’t bother with any noise.

The razor slid across his skin and he watched absent-mindedly as thick drops of blood fell off his arm and into a glass container below.

Red. So much red. And yet… He didn’t feel a thing. Numb to it all. Because this was all he’d known for his entire life.

“Wouldn’t it be more effective to take the blood through a syringe?” He asked quietly. The scientist gave him a look. “Your blood is useless unless it touches your skin before we take it. So all of this is necessary.” A0 went quiet after that. 

What did they need so much blood for? This entire room was just… Filled with glass containers. Quite a few of them were holding the deep red liquid. How many liters was this by now..? A0 didn’t know. All he knew was that they only stopped when he was already dizzy and about to pass out.

“So I’m only useful if you cut me open?” He asked. The scientist sent him a glare. “Be quiet, child. Any movement you do, every word you say, it all leads to you having less energy and therefore less blood to take until it gets dangerous. Is it really so difficult to fulfill your purpose?”

So yes.

That really was all there was to him.

“I understand.” He spoke quietly. The razor dug deeper, eliciting a hiss from A0. More blood fell. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

By now, the entire bottom of the glass container was covered in red liquid.

“Good. Now shut up. I’m not in the mood to talk to a subject.”

A0 didn’t say a word after that. Too afraid that if he did, there’d be consequences.

—

The first time A0 witnessed one of the horrific experiments A5158 was put through was shortly before it was time for the scientists to transfer Arahabaki into his body. Originally, he wasn’t intended to be there but… Mori thought he should be there. He argued it was in preparation for their future duo experiments.

A0 expected things to be bad. Because he’d seen what A5158 looked like after these experiments but… It actually turned out to be so so much worse. And watching it live now… A0 wanted nothing more than to rush in there and rescue his favorite person.

“Why is the child here, Dr Mori?” One of the scientists asked, voice tense. A0 clung onto the doctor more tightly. Mori ran his fingers through his hair reassuringly. “I’m preparing him for what he’s gonna be dealing with once he and A5158 will be undergoing these experiments together. Don’t you think he should at least see what it’s gonna be like before we throw him right in there?” The scientist didn’t protest, but he didn’t look too happy either.

Mori walked up close to the glass wall separating them from the experiment room. A0’s eyes widened. There, in the middle of the room, in a separate glass chamber, stood his friend. Eyes dull, overcast with pain. With him, a bunch of scientists, attaching cables to his body swiftly.

A5158 looked so… Dead, standing there. Unmoving, with none of the life and light he usually had. He hadn’t even noticed A0 was there, watching him, far too busy with whatever the scientists were doing to him. A0 wanted to yell, to scream out his name, to tell him he was there, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want them to potentially throw him out. He wanted to see this. He needed to see this. He had to know what they were doing to his Chibi.

A5158 was locked in the glass chamber and the scientists left the room. And the small ginger boy was left all alone, staring into the void, having accepted his fate.

At that point, A0 wasn’t even listening to what the scientists were saying anymore. All he could see was A5158. And all he could hear were the machines coming to life, a painful feeling of dread overcoming him.

…Turns out the feeling was justified. As just a moment later, A5158’s entire body contracted in pain and he clawed on the glass wall in an attempt to get up, just to immediately fail and fall to the ground with a scream that went right through A0, shattering his heart.

A0 quickly turned over to look at the scientists with wide eyes. “What are you doing to him?! Let him go! Stop hurting him!” He demanded. …And immediately got ignored. He stared at Mori. “Why aren’t they listening?! Why are they doing this to him?! Do something!” Mori brushed some hair out of his face. “I can’t, kid… I have no control over this. If we do anything to interrupt them they’ll hold us accountable. And then all of us, including A5158, will be punished.”

So it really was a hopeless situation. All A0 could do was watch. Watch and pray that his friend will be alright.

It was a horrible picture. A5158 tossed, turned, threw himself against the glass walls repeatedly, over and over again, yelling at the machines, the air, the scientists, to stop this madness and let him free. But no one listened. Begging, pleading, none of it worked. His cries fell on deaf ears. Everyone seemed to ignore them. Everyone but A0. And Mori, who looked like he could barely handle this himself.

But it wasn’t the cries that turned out to be the most terrifying to A0, no. Rather… It was the moment where A5158 gave up. Where he suddenly stopped screaming. Stopped moving. Curling up into a small ball on the ground of the glass chamber and just letting things happen to him, the tremors of the electric shocks shaking his entire body every few seconds, making him flinch and hug himself closer. There was no escape. A5158 was suffering, and there was nothing A0 could’ve done.

“Finally he’s quiet. God. That brat really is giving us a difficult time.” A scientist grumbled, annoyed. A0 dug his fingers into Mori’s lab coat. He wanted to kill someone. Genuinely. Mori patted his back and tugged him closer. “Welcome to the facility’s experiment program of Project Arahabaki, A0. It doesn’t get better.”

And as much as it hurt to hear, A0 knew it was true. This was their life. This was what they were meant to do. The pain, all of it was what they existed for. And it would take a miracle for these scientists to think about changing their ways or even giving them a small break. A miracle A0 was quite sure he’d never be able to create.

I’m so sorry, Chibi. Looks like protecting you might be a lot harder than I ever expected.

But one day I’ll make sure that no harm comes to you ever again.

—

The day where A0 decided to give himself a purpose aside from providing his blood, was the day Arahabaki was transferred into A5158’s body.

A terrible occasion, when they were just around five, combined with an unfairly nice day with perfect beach weather. Still, despite everything, it meant that A0 could surprise his Chibi with something that would hopefully make him happier.

“How does this look?” A0 asked, holding the seashell-pearl bracelet he crafted up for Mori to take a look. The doctor carefully picked the object up and looked at the small letters carved into the seashell. He raised an eyebrow, reading it out. “For my Human -A0”. A0 nodded repeatedly and took the bracelet back. “Chibi… He- He’s been struggling with his humanity a lot lately. He believes that he doesn’t qualify as a human being. Especially now that he’s carrying Arahabaki around with him. He said that he doesn’t want me to see him as a monster or turn on him so…” He started.

Mori crouched down. “So… You want to give him a reminder that he’s always gonna be human to you?” A0 nodded. “Exactly.”

It was the fateful day of the Arahabaki transfer. And Mori and Fukuzawa had promised the two boys a small beach trip after everything was done. So now here they were. Well, Mori and A0, at least. But A5158 and Fukuzawa should get here any second as well.

And so, just a few minutes later, their familiar silhouettes appeared at the horizon.

Suddenly, A0 felt a little nervous. Was a bracelet like this really not too sappy..? What was he supposed to do if A5158 wouldn’t take it? And just like that, he immediately hid behind Mori’s legs, sending the doctor into a small laughing fit.

“Dr Mori, A0.” Fukuzawa greeted with a nod of his head. A0 peeked out from behind Mori’s legs. A5158 looked terrible. Exhausted, tired, in pain… He just wanted to hug him so so so so badly, it hurt.

Dr Fukuzawa and our little A5158, hello.” Mori greeted right back, a smile on his face. “How are you doing? Was it bad?” In response, A5158 just nodded quietly. Then he looked over at A0 with those soft, familiar eyes. “Why’s A0 hiding?” He asked. A0 felt a light pink color crawling up his cheeks. Why was he suddenly so stupidly embarrassed?! It was just a bracelet!

“Because he made something for you, A5158. And now he’s too embarrassed to show it.” Wow. Thank you so much, Dr Mori. Why not embarrass him further than he already was?! Still… A5158’s exhausted eyes started sparkling… And suddenly, A0 wasn’t so afraid anymore. Sparkly Chibi was his favorite Chibi. And so, despite his embarrassment, when Mori pushed against his back to bring him closer to A5158, A0 didn’t resist. And after a little more hesitation and mental preparations, he quickly held out the seashell-pearl bracelet to the other boy.

A5158 gasped as he took the bracelet and his eyes went impossibly bright. “I- Is that..?” A0 immediately cut him off. “Yup. this is for you. L- Look.. I- might’ve written something on the inside of the seashells as well. Obviously you don’t have to keep it if you don’t like it but–” A5158 immediately pulled the bracelet to his chest like it was the most precious object in the world. “I’m keeping it.” A0 looked at him surprised. “You are? But you haven’t even looked inside–”, “I’m keeping it. This is mine now. All mine.” he spoke, determined.

…And then he read what was carved into the insides of the seashells and seemingly had his breath absolutely knocked out on the spot.

“Hold up- You…”

A0 looked off to the side and nervously scratched the back of his head. “Just thought I’d write that in there as a constant reminder that you’re… Well. A human being. Not a monster, not anything else. No matter what they do to you… You’ll always remain my human, Chibi. Nothing can change that.” A5158 stared at him in disbelief and visibly teared up. “Y- Your human..?” A0 grinned. “ My human! Got it?”

He barely had any time to prepare before A5158 was already throwing himself into A0’s arms, hugging him tightly.

“You’re the best person in the world, A0..” The boy mumbled. A0 flushed a soft red. Sure, they were always affectionate but… It was still different to hear these words spoken so directly. “No you.” He responded quietly. …Which managed to get the smallest of giggles out of A5158. A0’s heart suddenly felt like it was floating.

A5158 pulled back and looked into his eyes. “No you, idiot! And one day, when we’re older, I’m gonna marry you to make sure we never, ever have to be apart! I wanna keep you for as long as I can!”

A0 didn’t even realize the teasing looks their caretakers were giving them. Instead, he focused completely and entirely on his Chibi. “Alright, let’s do that then!”

There was a lot A0 was willing to do if it just meant he’d get to see more of that smile. A lot he was willing to endure to make A5158 as happy as he could.

He didn’t need the scientists to assign him a purpose beyond his blood and the fact he was able to deal with A5158’s ability. He’d just make up his own.

And his chosen purpose was something he intended to follow up with until the day death would take him. 

He was gonna make the other boy happy, no matter how much it takes, no matter what it would require. Because A5158 deserved so much better than this. And A0 would be damned if he couldn’t manage to find a way out of this.

His Chibi was all he had in the world. And therefore, he’d protect him with every single cell in his body. And one day, in the future, he’d make sure to carve out a path that allowed the two of them to choose their own lives, far away from all the things that hurt them.

Chapter Text

!!!HUGE Gore/Graphic content warning for this chapter. Reader discretion advised!!!

===

“Stop whining and do something, A0! Man, have I ever told you how difficult it is to work with a subject like yourself?!” Yes you have. You do so every time I’m here.

A flash of pain shot through A0’s neck and he hissed loudly, hands immediately coming up to try clawing the shock collar off of his neck. But it wouldn’t come off. It never did. Instead, all A0 grabbed onto were loose bandages and bloody, scratched open skin. It wasn't the first time. And it wouldn’t be the last. And no matter how much he tried to suppress the urge to rip the collar straight off, he couldn’t. And so his nails caused him harm. Over and over and over again. And he wouldn’t learn a thing.

A0, shaking and barely holding himself upright, walked over to the rock he was supposed to be lifting. It was training. All of this was training. Training to be stronger, to be better, so he could be more useful. But the rock was heavier than he himself was, and his hands were scraped and numb. And the exertion had reopened the cuts from earlier in the day so much that all the bandages around his arms were soaked in blood.

He panted, heavily, trying to at least drag the rock in the direction he was supposed to take it. But his arms were giving out and he barely had control over his muscles anymore. He was tired . So. So. So tired. Tired, exhausted, and dizzy. Because of course the scientists didn’t care that he’d just lost a lot of blood due to them taking it. He wouldn’t get a break. Not now, not ever. He was supposed to function, supposed to meet their expectations. He had to. He had to. Or they’d hurt him more. And sure, A0 by now was numb to most pain. But this was too much. The cuts. The training. The electric shocks whenever he wasn’t perfect enough… Was he supposed to just take all of it?! 

He was a five year old child.

Yet sometimes he felt like all they saw in him was a machine that had to follow every command it was given, no matter how hard.

His arms lost hold of the stone, fully giving out. And said stone immediately fully fell to the ground, right on top of his foot. And A0 broke down to the floor as pain immediately exploded throughout his bones.

A0 didn’t scream.

A0 didn’t cry.

He was too exhausted for either of those. 

And all he could do was stare into the void, catatonic, while his insides felt like they were being ripped apart by the pain he was incapable of externalising.

“Oh dear, what are we gonna do with you?”

Oh. He hadn’t even realized the scientist conducting the training had entered his cell.

“You truly are the weakest, most pathetic subject I’ve ever worked with. I cannot believe you out of everyone just had to be our nullifier.” The stone was lifted.  But A0 couldn’t feel an ounce of relief in his body. Honestly, he couldn’t feel an ounce of anything right now. Couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, like his body and all its functions had given up on him.

“I swear to god, you are so lucky that you’re our only nullification subject. Because if you weren’t, I’d have long since thrown you into the crematorium. Your ability is the only useful thing about you.” The scientist muttered as he carried A0 out of the cell.

The boy couldn’t respond. As not even speech was a thing he was capable of anymore.

—

“Can’t we skip training today? A0’s still hurt..” A5158 asked quietly, hugging his friend and staring up at the scientist. It was futile. They’d tried this before. But it never worked. Despite the fact that duo training while one of them was incapacitated wouldn’t make sense, the scientists were determined to work through their training plan regardless.

The scientist across from them only offered them a sweet, insincere smile. “No, unfortunately not little ones. If A0 is truly incapable of participating, then you’ll just have to work extra hard, A5158. You can do that, right? You’re far stronger than he is anyway.”

…Which wasn’t even the point! Strength didn’t matter to this particular training task! It was all about cooperation! Stuff would fall from the ceiling and the two of them were supposed to warn each other and make sure neither of them would get hit! And now A5258 was supposed to do this on his own?! And right after the general difficulty had been raised as well..

“Of course you can destroy the obstacles if things get too dangerous and you’re incapable of dodging. But do keep in mind that every destroyed obstacle equals one shock. These were truly expensive, you know?”

A0 was fuming with barely contained rage. Why were they making the other boy do this?! This training wasn’t meant for only one person! It was too difficult! Which meant that A5158 would get hurt either way! Either by the obstacles, or by the electric shocks!

…Point being: A5158 would get hurt !

And all A0 was able to do would be watch what was happening.

And just like that, the brunette boy was ripped away from his Chibi and dragged to the observation room, getting placed on a chair right in front of the glass wall with a perfect view of A5158’s potential suffering.

Monsters.

All of these scientists were monsters.

“To make things just a little more fair to you, I will be in there. I won’t get targeted by the training and I won’t warn you about everything but… I will help you in some cases!” One of the scientists spoke, smiling again, as though their offer was somehow generous enough to make up for the fact that A5158 was gonna be alone in this!

A0’s grip on his hospital gown tightened. He couldn’t just sit there and do absolutely nothing now could he?!

And yet he might have to… Because he had no idea of what he could do.

The training started, and the ceiling of the cell opened up in various places to drop all kinds of stuff on A5158, ranging from sharp rocks to literally anything. And the ginger was even doing quite well until…

“Start the special attack sequence.” One employee near A0 said. The boy immediately turned over to see what was happening… And then it started.

A barrage of rocks, hitting at record speed in a way and place that made it impossible for anyone to pay attention to where they were falling and making sure not to stumble over anything on the ground at the same time.

Which made it impossible for A5158 to avoid having to destroy them if he didn’t want to get hit and therefore hurt.

And the sadistic scientist inside didn’t help one bit. Rather, he was actively counting the amount of rocks A5158 destroyed. And judging by the boy’s horrified look, he was more than aware of that.

The barrage stopped, but the torment wouldn’t.

“23.” The scientist announced loudly with a smile on his face. “23 shocks it is… Good luck child! Now relax while we properly punish you for destroying the facility’s property.” He was grinning. That absolute freak was grinning. Like he couldn’t wait to send A5158 to the brink of death with electricity!

A0 had to do something. He needed to do something. And so he did the first thing that came to his mind.

“Hey, kid! Get away from that console right this instant!” The employee yelped. But it was too late. Before he was restrained, A0 had already restarted the special attack sequence. But this time… At the scientist’s location.

The man cried out in fear and ran around the cell like a headless chicken. Quite amusing, if A0 may say so, though he wasn’t in the mood for laughs, much too focused and hoping that A5158 would manage to avoid the additional rocks.

A bit later, it was over again. And the scientist looked like he was on the brink of passing out, sending a death-glare right in A0’s direction. 

The scientist himself hadn’t been crushed. …But the electricity transmitter he would’ve used to harm A5158 sure had. Lost under the rubble, no longer active, as indicated by the fact that A5158’s collar wasn’t lit up anymore.

A0 found himself sincerely wishing it would’ve been the man that had gotten crushed in place of the device. Broken beyond repair, suffering a painful death with each and every one of his bones breaking and stabbing his internal organs.

“What the fuck were you thinking, you useless kid! You almost killed me!”

I wish I would have.

“My hand slipped.” A0 responded courtly.

Maybe next time I’ll get you.

—

“Make it stop!” A0 sobbed. His eyes were watering. His insides felt like they were on fire, and he was in so much pain he had to restrain himself not to rip himself open and remove whatever substance the scientists just sent straight into his veins with a syringe. 

Poison.

They injected poison into him. And every time they did this particular type of test on him, it hurt like nothing he’d experienced before.

“Now now kid, it’s not that bad! It’s not a lethal dose so you’ll be just fine! Endure it, will you? We’re gonna need to up your poison resistance if we ever want to send you out on any mission where someone might have it out for you, you know? And that’s only gonna work with enough exposure. Don’t complain. It’s incredibly annoying.”

A0 bit his tongue until he tasted blood. “It hurts! Why does it need to hurt me! Why do we need to do this?! Why do I have to suffer?! Why–”

Zap.

A0 screamed.

Zap.

A0’s hands snapped up to his neck and ripped at the collar, just as he was hit with another shock. And with his nails not having been cut in a few days, as well as his habit of chewing on them when he was stressed, anxious or in pain, they easily pierced his skin like tiny, jagged razor blades. And like the thorns of roses, they got stuck, hooking into the open injuries, unable to be removed quickly without further damage.

“Have you forgotten all about what we taught you, A0?” The scientist asked, voice dangerously low. “No. Complaining. You don’t cry. You don’t scream. You don’t make a single sound. And when you do, you’ll be punished. We’re not gonna have our subjects turn out all whiney and scared. So be a good boy and shut your mouth. You’re raking up our electricity bill with every shock we give you.”

A0 was frozen in place yet drenched in sweat. Body shaking. He felt like vomiting up all his internal organs. His insides were still burning with the poison, his mouth was dripping blood. So was his neck. And as he pulled his hands away from his skin, the shaking merely contributed to his nails ripping his injuries further. He bit down another scream, and in the process, opened a brand-new wound right on his tongue.

Then he curled in on himself on the ground and did his very best to even try and focus on anything but the pain.

Well, easier said than done if all there was was pain. 

Pain.

A white room.

The scientist.

A5158…

A5158.

A0 immediately sat up, despite the immediate dizziness and urge to throw up, looking around the room. His friend. Where the fuck was his friend?! He had come in here with him! How could he forget?! Even with everything happening, he still had to look after his Chibi. He had to! He promised!

“A5158.” He whispered, more to himself than anyone else. The scientist raised an eyebrow. “What?” A0 didn’t pay him any mind. He forced himself to stand up. It took a few tries, and he had to cling onto the wall for dear life, but he stood up.

“Where is A5158.” He spoke, voice broken. The scientist just smiled. A0 wanted to take the syringe he was still holding and stab it right between this guy’s teeth.

“Ah, he’s just over there! Tried a stronger dose with him… But he hasn’t been taking it too well so far. Might have to pump his stomach to save him.” And, true to his words, there A5158 was, pressed into the room’s corner, eerily still, like he wasn’t even alive. A0 felt like he was gonna have a heart attack, eyes widening, his own suffering momentarily taking a backseat to his worry for his friend. And so, with every bit of strength he could muster, he dragged himself along the wall to the other boy, leaving a trail of bloody handprints behind.

A0 fell to the ground next to A5158 and shook his shoulder. “Chibi..? Chibi! Wake up!” He yelled, desperately. A5158’s eyes opened, even just a little, and the sheer dullness in them broke A0’s heart.

“..Zero..-” A5158 mumbled, a desperate attempt at the other’s name. A0 felt tears reappear in his eyes and he whipped around to glare at the scientist. “What have you done to him?!” He accused. The scientist shrugged. “Stronger poison. But it didn’t work too well, considering he’s barely conscious.”

A0 felt his blood boil. And this time, it wasn’t because of the poison.

“Well then, do something you asshole! He’s dying!” He pleaded, angrily. The scientist had the audacity to pout. “Nu-uh. We don’t say bad words like that! You should know that! Did your parents never teach you not to swear? …Hold up. I forgot.” A smile. A disgusting, punchable smile. “You don’t have parents who care about you. No family to help you. You belong to us . And we get to do whatever we want with you, understood.”

This guy had no interest in his job. Nor in them, or their abilities, or their wellbeing. This guy just enjoyed torturing people. Them specifically.

“You get him an emergency crew immediately or you won’t survive another day.” A0 threatened, holding A5158 in his arms. The man’s expression darkened. “Are you threatening me?” He asked. A0 gritted his teeth, not gracing him with a response. The scientist scoffed. “Well, whether you are or aren’t, just know that there’s nothing you can do to me. I’m in control. And I do not. Condone. Threats from useless lab rats.

And then, with another sudden, painful, electric shock, A0 could no longer keep himself conscious. And the last thing he heard was manic laughter.

—

Corruption was at the same time beautiful yet terrifying. Well, terrifying to most people. But to A0… The red swirls looked amazing on his Chibi. Red was just a good color on him. Though he still hated the fact that corruption hurt his favorite person so much.

The first few times he’d experienced it, it was only for a maximum of a few seconds at a time before he was told to nullify the ability. And every single time, A5158 would be left exhausted and asleep. Which, to the scientists, was quite unfortunate as they couldn’t do many tests before A5158 needed a forced break.

And that was why, one day, the scientists decided on a new strategy. One where A5158 wouldn’t unleash his full corrupted form, but only parts of it. Like in his arms.

Though neither A0, nor A5158 were too thrilled at being woken up at one in the morning for this test. They had no time to get ready. They were forced to immediately get up, the scientist dragging the two boys along by their arms, walking so quickly they barely managed to stumble after him without falling over.

The test was entirely unannounced and weird. There… Weren’t any other facility employees around. Not even in the observation chamber. The camera in the room was turned on but… Not one person was watching them.

“As we haven’t done anything like this before, we won’t know what might happen. Therefore I’ve stationed my colleagues all around the facility to make sure they can easily evacuate everyone in case something goes terribly wrong. Surely we can do this, hm? Just the three of us? No funny business tho. I upped the effectiveness of the shock collars.”

Because of course he did. Because watching the two of them suffer was his favorite activity. Was everyone’s favorite activity.

“Understood.” A5158 mumbled quietly. A0 remained silent, only squeezing his Chibi’s hand softly. If the scientist wanted him to be quiet, then he better not be surprised about A0 not talking to him at all.

“Now, A5158, come over here will you. Just some… Security measures.” Security Measures . Laughable. But A0 couldn’t do anything. He could only watch as the scientist strapped A5158 to a chair. Like he was a criminal, about to be executed via electricity. And A5158’s expression certainly looked like that was exactly what was happening here.

A0 couldn’t stop himself. He rushed to his Chibi’s side and took his hand. And his Chibi held onto him firmly, like he didn’t want to let go.

“Aw. Well isn’t that just adorable.” The scientist sent them that haunting grin of his, and A0 got a bad feeling in his stomach. “Unfortunately, I will have to pull you away there for a moment, kid. His ability won’t work if you hold onto him like that, you know?” Of course Dazai knew. This was his favorite person!

“You’ll get to hold onto him soon enough.” The man spoke. And then he pulled A0 away from A5158 roughly, his grip closing tightly around the boy’s wrist, not seeming like he was gonna let go anytime soon.

The bad feeling in A0’s stomach worsened.

“Well then, A5158. Show us what you’ve got.” And the small ginger, not having much of a choice, did just that.

In hindsight, it was a little difficult to recall what exactly happened, and how. But from the moment A5158 activated his partial corruption, it felt as though everything happened incredibly quickly.

And the sound of A5158’s scream of utter terror was a sound A0 would never, ever, ever be able to get out of his brain ever again.

The swirls appeared on the boy’s skin, wrapping around his arms, but he remained conscious, somehow. Because he hadn’t spoken the whole incantation, only part of it. And yet, he screamed louder than he ever had, eyes staring at his arms as he immediately fought against his shackles

And A0 immediately realized what the situation was.

Corruption hurt A5158. Corruption destroyed his body, mind and soul.

Usually though, A5158 would be unconscious during it, and therefore not properly feel the sheer pain it brought.

But now, like this, with it only being partially activated, A5158 probably felt every single rip and tear in his flesh.

“MAKE IT STOP.” The boy yelled, hitting his head against the backrest of the chair, tugging on the shackles so hard that they dug into his skin and drew blood. “PLEASE. A0- I-”

A0 tried to pull himself away from the scientist, he did, with all the strength he had. But the guy must’ve anticipated this, as he just held him tighter. “I don’t think so… Sorry boys, but this has to be done. Don’t worry, I just wanna see how long it takes until you can’t take it anymore!”

A0 saw red.

A5158 was screaming out his name. A5158 needed him. His Chibi was begging for him to save him.

And A0 wasn’t about to just stand by and do nothing.

A5158 was going to pass out again. Not from exhaustion, but from the pain of feeling his body getting ripped apart. His screams got more quiet, more desperate, as he sobbed out A0’s name. Over and over and over again, his eyes so glazed over with pain that every bit of their usual sparkliness disappeared.

No. 

I’m not letting them take away your light.

Never.

A0’s body moved without much thought, out of control.

He ripped his wrist out of the scientists’s grip, ignoring the painful stinging sensation and the unhealthy-sounding cracking of his bones. And then he rushed over to A5158’s side and nullified Corruption with a quick touch to his cheek. The scientist protested loudly, clicking his electricity transmitter again and again. The electricity shot through Dazai’s skin, through his neck, through his entire body. But he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He was running on pure adrenaline and A5158 was more important than anything else. Anything.

With a display of strength he hadn’t been aware he even had, he jumped the scientist and tackled him to the ground, punching the air out of the man’s lungs.

“I’m never letting you hurt him again.”

Next thing he knew, he was grabbing for something, anything.

And then he suddenly had a pen in his hand.

“I’m never letting you hurt him again, you hear me?!”

And then there was a disgusting, squelchy sound as he stabbed the pen right through the scientist’s throat and pushed it in further, further, further, until the tip hit the floor. The scientist had his eyes wide open and started choking on his own blood immediately.

“Never.” 

He pulled the pen out, then stabbed it into the man’s neck a bit further up.

“Ever.”

Another stab.

“Ever.”

Another.

“Ever.

Another.

“Again.”

A0 dug his fingers into the stab wounds he created and pulled, pulled, pulled until he dragged out a mixture of flesh, muscle, and various other pieces of ripped apart human that he couldn’t name if he tried. And only when he did that, only when he was sure sure the guy was dead, did he step back on shaky legs, staring at the mess on the floor.

And only then did his tunnel vision clear up and he realized what he had done.

There, on the ground, in a literal lake of blood, was the now-dead scientist that caused them so much harm. His eyes open, glassy, his head barely attached to his body anymore, internal organs hanging out.

A0 felt his breathing, his heartbeat, somehow quickening even more as he gasped for air and stared down at his hands, his clothes. Everything was covered in blood. Everything. And some pieces of the man’s throat were still stuck to his fingers. Dead, bloody flesh. An image he would never be able to erase from his brain.

He had killed someone.

He had killed someone.

He was a murderer.

Granted, the guy deserved it but still.

A0 felt bile rise in his throat, though he swallowed it down to the best of his capabilities.

Stay. Calm.

With his entire body shaking, he turned around to face A5158 who was passed out in the chair. A0 had no idea what his Chibi had seen, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Chibi. Would he- would he be disgusted? Would he consider A0 a monster..? He wouldn’t. …R- Right?

A0 gulped, not wanting to think of the possible consequences to this situation, and tried to focus on something else. He needed to get them out of here and somewhere safe to clean up.

But where even was somewhere safe..?

Actually. 

He may have an idea. 

With a little luck, it would work out.

A0 stole the general keys from the dead scientist’s body, then unlocked A5158’s shackles and picked the boy up in his arms. He felt disgusting, carrying A5158 with so much blood everywhere on him. But he sure as hell wouldn’t leave him here.

And so he did his best to sneak past all the cameras and really, really hoped that it would be okay.

—

A few minutes of walking later, A0 arrived in front of a door. He took a deep breath and tightened his hold on A5158. Now or never. He better go through with it, before someone might walk past and see him.

And so he raised a fist and knocked.

Please be here.

Rustling of paper, a creaking chair. Then, footsteps. Familiar footsteps.

Looks like he is here.

The door was opened by a certain exhausted-looking black-haired doctor. Though all that exhaustion immediately seemed to disappear as he saw the state they were in.

“A0? A5158..?”

A0 once again tightened his hold on his Chibi.

“Hey, Mori-san. I-.. I might’ve done something..”

Chapter Text

“Oh dear, so it finally was too much, hm?” Mori asked, sitting in front of A0 and wiping the blood off his skin with a wet towel. A0 was staring at the ground and nodded quietly. “Just.. Couldn’t take it anymore I guess. I couldn’t just watch Chibi be in pain and not do anything about it. I don’t know what happened or where I even got the strength for it but… One second he was alive, the next he was dead.”

A0 was still shaken from the event. He felt his body shudder. And even as Mori cleaned him up… All he could see was the red covering his hands.

“It’s okay kid. I’m not gonna hold it against you. You were just protecting your friend, right?” A0 could only nod “Mhm. I had to. I just.. Didn’t expect this from myself. Sure, I thought about it but..-”, “Thinking and doing are two different things?” Mori completed his sentence. A0 gave him another nod.

It had been probably half an hour since A0 killed the scientist that was hurting them. The moment Mori had seen them upon opening the door, he pulled him into the room and closed it which gave A0 an immediate feeling of safety. Now A5158 was asleep on the couch behind them, and Mori was taking care of the blood and listening to A0 talk.

“It’s.. It’s wrong. Murder is wrong. It shouldn’t be something that happens. But… What he was doing to us, what everyone here’s doing to us, it’s also wrong so… I can’t even feel bad for it.” A0 mumbled. Mori sighed and petted his hair affectionately. “Then don’t. Don’t feel bad for it.” He responded. A0’s eyes widened a little and he looked up. There was a small, sad smile on Mori’s face as he spoke.

“You’re a good child, A0, for saying that this is something that’s not supposed to happen, and technically you’d be right. That being said… Sometimes the circumstances require things like this or nothing’s gonna change.”

A0 tilted his head. “So you’re saying… I did the right thing?” He asked. Mori sighed. “I’m saying that what you did was an appropriate reaction to the things done to you, laws and opinions aside.” Hm. So… The right thing, but also not? A0 was a little confused. Nonetheless, it sounded like the doctor at least didn’t think that what he did was unreasonable and cruel.

“Here.” Mori held out a new hospital gown for him. The boy took it and quickly got changed, leaving no visible trace of the blood behind. “Thanks, Mori-san.” A0 said quietly. Mori smiled. “You’re welcome, kid. Now… Are you ready to go back to your room and sleep? It’s really late. And you had a really long day.”

A0 looked up and nervously played with the ends of his bandages. “You’re not gonna tell them, …right?” He asked. Mori chuckled and shook his head. “Of course I won’t. My lips are sealed. Thanks for seeking me out and trusting me to help, A0. And don’t worry about the crime scene, alright? I’ll take care of it. Now. Let’s take you two back to bed, hm?”

Bed sounded nice just about now. A0 could barely keep himself upright, and A5158 was already passed out regardless. And so he didn’t protest when Mori picked both of them up in his arms and carried them out of his office and in the direction of their room. He just held on tight and tiredly buried his face in the white lab coat the man was wearing, cuddling close to A5158’s side and syncing their breath and heartbeat like they often did when sleeping together. 

Like that, with the adrenaline gone, the fear minimalized, and his Chibi’s comforting presence at his side, it didn’t take long for A0 to get very sleepy. So much so that he barely even noticed when they were set down on a mattress. He just pulled A5158 into his arms and hugged him close. Even in his unconscious state… The other boy still somehow hugged back and pulled him close.

Mori tucked them in, safely wrapping the blanket around them. And the last thing A0 felt before falling asleep was the doctor’s fingers running through his hair gently, and his best friend’s warmth in his arms.

—

“Have you heard..? Apparently, one of the scientists’ bodies was found brutally mutilated in a storage room.” One subject told another at a table near them. 

It was the day after the incident. And as every morning recently, A0 and A5158 were in the cafeteria getting food.

“Sure did. They say he had his throat ripped out. Someone deliberately did this and then removed the body from its original location. It wasn’t an accident during an experiment.” Another subject responded. Then a loud slam echoed through the room and it was quiet.

A0 turned around to see what happened. Turns out one of the people in their white lab coats had slammed a fist down on the table the subjects were talking at to silence them. “Shut it right now. Or we’ll take you right back to your rooms.”

A5158 tilted his head. “A scientist was brutally murdered, hm?” A0 remained quiet, trying to ignore the feeling of dread in his stomach. Did anyone know? Has he been found out? Did A5158 have any idea..? He didn’t know what he should hope for.

“I hope it’s one of ours.” A5158 mumbled. A0 looked at him surprised. “Come again..?”

And A5158 just stopped, then stared, then tightened his hold on the knife he was holding. 

“Obviously not talking about Mori-san and Fukuzawa-san but… I hope it’s one of ours.” He repeated.

And oh … A0 wasn’t sure what he was expecting but… This was certainly something, at least. This was most definitely not disgust directed at the murderer. This was much, much different. 

And somehow… It felt like affirmation for his actions.

—

“Boys, I’ll have you know that there won’t be any experiments with you guys today.” A female scientist said as she stepped into their room. A0’s eyes widened. Could this be…

“N- No experiments?” A5158 whispered and A0 looked over at him surprised. He looked like he was crying… But he didn’t look sad or upset, not at all!