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The Worth of a Life

Summary:

Near the end of her pregnancy Concubine Gyokuyou is attacked in the middle of the night. Maomao steps in to defend her and while fighting for her life ends up taking the life of the attacker while sustaining serious injuries.

While Jinshi steps in to care for her physically, Maomao deals with the mental turmoil of taking a life.

With Maomao vulnerable and Jinshi doing his best to be patient with her, something begins to bloom between them.

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Complete self-indulgent slow-burn/fluff because I'm sad we didn't get it when Maomao saved Jinshi.

Notes:

This work is completed and will be edited/updated quickly.

Chapter Text

Maomao flung herself onto her bed, her breath huffing out in an exhausted sigh as she closed her eyes. It had been nearly nine months of caring for Concubine Gyokuyou at the Jade Palace; nearly full term in her pregnancy she was beginning to require more and more help from her ladies in waiting to get through her day.

Of course this included Maomao - not only for the minor remedies she provided for her nausea and body aches, but also because her appetite had increased to the point where even Maomao had managed to put on a few pounds in her role as food taster for the woman. Of course none of her food had ever been poisoned, but Maomao was far too exhausted lately to even feel a shred of disappointment.

“Maomao?” Concubine Gyokuyou’s voice called from the adjoining room, internally the apothecary groaned. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help, in fact she was thankful to have been given the chance to help the woman who had almost become a sister to her, but she was so tired.

Begrudgingly she opened the door that separated Concubine Gyokuyou’s room with her own, doing her best to compose her face so as not to show any annoyance at being called again.

“Yes, Lady Gyokuyou?” The woman was still in bed, but her blankets had been tossed off her body and her face was flushed.

“Could you open the window? It’s too warm in here for me to sleep.” Practically whining, Gyokuyou fanned herself with her hands dramatically. Maomao gave a small sigh as she took a few more steps into the room.

“I advise against it, Lady Gyokuyou.” It was a tired argument for them; at least once a week for the past month she would complain that it was too hot to sleep and ask Maomao to open the window and just as many times Maomao would patiently tell her that she could not and instead ask one of the eunuchs standing guard to instead fetch a large ice cube.

It was mostly because it would get colder as the night went on and she didn’t want the expectant mother to catch a cold, but also for safety reasons. Despite the news of her pregnancy being an open secret in the palace, nobody had attempted to harm Lady Gyokuyou in any way.

It unsettled Maomao.

The other ladies in waiting all praised the safety of the inner palace, the increased security of the eunuch guards as well as the frequent visits from the Emperor being named as the number one reason to trust in their safety here. As well as it was no secret that Maomao had been made the Concubine's personal taster and caretaker - there were constant jokes that nobody would dare poison Lady Gyokuyou with Maomao there.

“Maomao~” Gyokuyou whined, falling back against her pillows with a pout on her face. “I’m too tired to wait for them to deliver ice.” Maomao resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose, she was also far too tired to deal with asking them but it couldn’t be helped.

“The temperature will decrease throughout the night, you may be too warm now but you’ll quickly become too cold if I leave the window open, Lady Gyokuyou.”

“I will have extra blankets brought up then, if I get too cold I will just use those.”

“Lady Gyokuyou-” Maomao started, her voice taking on the tone she often used with difficult patients.

“I’ll just open it myself then.” Lady Gyokuyou huffed interrupting Maomao’s reprimand as she tried moving her body awkwardly in an attempt to pull herself out of bed. Maomao watched for a brief moment, weighing the options in her exhausted state before she sighed loudly. The concubine stopped her movements and smiled at Maomao sweetly, knowing that she had won.

“I will open it and then close it once you have fallen asleep.” It was the best compromise Maomao could find, it would mean she wouldn’t be able to sleep yet but she wouldn’t have been able to sleep if she had left it open anyway.

“Oh Maomao, you’re the sweetest.” Satisfied, Gyokuyou settled herself back into bed and closed her eyes.

Maomao crossed the room and unlatched the window, pushing the shutters open slowly as the chill evening wind flew past her face and into the room. For her own peace of mind Maomao surveyed outside, counting three eunuchs standing watch by the window. A shiver ran through her, and she quickly crossed the room back to her own sleeping quarters.

“Goodnight Maomao~”

“Goodnight, Lady Gyokuyou.”

She slid open the door to her ‘room’, in reality it was a closet that had been repurposed once it was found that Lady Gyokuyou often needed to summon Maomao to her room several times in the night during her second trimester. Not that she minded, it was very large for a closet. It had been full of clothes that had been easily moved to a different room at the Concubine’s request.

Maomao had agreed to the move immediately; previously Lady Gyokuyou would ring a bell which would wake a few of her regular ladies in waiting who would then come to Maomao’s room and wake her. The whole procession took far too much time and left a large amount of them exhausted in the morning.

This way only Maomao would develop the bags under her eyes that she had been living with for the past seven months.

Just one more month, Maomao thought to herself as she closed the door to her room. She’ll be ready for the birth in one more month and then it will be the main physician’s job from there.

Maomao didn’t dare lie back down in bed, too afraid that exhaustion would drag her under if she did, instead she sat at the small desk available to her and let her thoughts wander in the darkness.

Master Jinshi would no doubt visit tomorrow; he had developed a routine whether he was aware of it or not. At the beginning of her stay with Lady Gyokuyou he would scarcely come by, maybe once every few weeks - always bearing gifts and always obnoxiously flirty and kind to the ladies in waiting.

Over the course of her stay, Master Jinshi had steadily increased the frequency in his visits, as well as the duration much to the obvious chagrin of Gaoshun. He would linger around the Jade Palace under the pretense of ensuring they had everything they needed to maintain Lady Gyokuyou’s health through her pregnancy, but Maomao had noticed he was never too far from her wherever she went. As annoyed as she was by the Jinshi shaped shadow she seemed to have, it was a good opportunity to ask him for anything she might want.

Most of the time it was herbs that she wanted for personal experiments, and though in the early months he was more stingy on what he gave her by now he was willing to hand over almost anything she asked for.

Anything but poisons, much to Maomao’s disappointment.

She was lost in thoughts of whats he would ask him for this time when she heard the sound of feet hitting the floor. Maomao froze, listening for the telltale grunts and groans of Lady Gyokuyou getting out of bed on her own but all she heard was silence.

Her body stiffened, her mind blaring with alarm bells as she stared into the darkness as if she could see through the door. Her heart pounded in her throat as she willed her body to calm down.

It could’ve been nothing. Her tired mind could be playing tricks on her, or perhaps it was just the sound of footsteps from the eunuchs outside.

Maomao stood, moving towards the door as silently as she could - wondering how she would be able to open the door without noise when she heard another distinct footstep. Heavier, and definitely not Lady Gyokuyou.

Maomao flung open the door, her eyes wide as she attempted to take in as much as she could in the darkness.

Lady Gyokuyou was still very much asleep in bed, her breaths distinct and heavy with sleep. The window was still open, soft moonlight filtered into the room causing Maomao’s eyes to hurt as they attempted to adjust. In the darkness she could see the outline of a large figure, caught halfway between the window and Lady Gyokuyou with his head turned in her direction.

The moonlight caught against steel in his hand.

Maomao screamed.

It was unsightly, and not something she would do under normal circumstances but it was the most effective way of alerting everyone to the danger. The scream seemed to freeze the intruder, the telltale noises of confusion and awakening in the pavilion reaching them along with the urgent sound of male voices from outside. Maomao took the moment to act, her hand grabbing the closest thing to a weapon she had within reach without even looking to see what it was.

Rushing the man, she kept her eyes on the steely glint as she let out another yell and swung her makeshift weapon at the man’s private area. He backed away quickly, his stupor broken, but Maomao had managed to put herself between the intruder and the now awake and confused Concubine behind her.

Now that she was here however her mind started to spin; there was no way she could take the man out on her own - he was three times her size and he had a much deadlier weapon. All she could do was delay him from getting to Lady Gyokuyou long enough for someone more suited to defending her to arrive. Delaying may cause he injury, but as long as she kept him busy and away from Lady Gyokuyou it would be fine.

Unfortunately the intruder also seemed to recognize the situation, advancing quickly on Maomao as if expecting her to back up away from him and into the woman behind her. Lady Gyokuyou let out a shrill scream, hitching at the end to a sob as Maomao instead threw herself into the man, swinging wildly with her weapon as she threw her whole weight into his lower half in an attempt to knock him off balance.

It must have looked ridiculous, Maomao thought, a small serving girl swinging something wildly and without aim at a man armed with a knife. Through the swings Maomao could feel several points of pain blooming on her arms, but she pushed through it as she did her best to drive the man further away from the bed using her own body.

There was a grunt from above her, and the sound of something hitting the floor as her shoulder connected harshly with the man’s crotch.

There was a moment of satisfaction in Maomao’s mind before suddenly a hand grabbed her throat and the world was swept out from under her feet. Her head struck the floor harshly, her eyes widening as stars flashed before her eyes.

Maomao’s blood pounded in her skull, she opened her mouth to scream again but nothing came out. She couldn’t draw air into her lungs, and her vision was starting to spot. It eerily reminded her of her reaction to buckwheat but much more painful.

Noises filtered to her through the haze, sounding as if they were coming from much farther away. she could hear screaming, it sounded like Lady Gyokuyou was screaming her name from somewhere outside. Had she managed to climb out the window?

Was she going to die?

Maomao grit her teeth rejecting the idea, her hand reaching out to the sides searching for her makeshift weapon as a desperate attempt to knock the man into loosening his grip long enough for her air starved lungs to get a breath in. Her hand touched something hard and without hesitation, she swung it wildly towards the man’s head.

The hit was somehow softer than Maomao imagined it should be, as if his body had absorbed the object into it.

Warmth rained down on her face, the hands around her neck squeezed harder reflexively as a weird gurgling noise reached her ears. It sounded like someone was drowning, but how could that make sense?

The hands released her, and soon her own strangled gasps were drowning out everything else. She scrambled away from the slumping man, her coughs hurting her as clutched her inner robes tightly.

“Maomao…” Lady Gyokuyou sounded strained, as if she was in an immense amount of pain. It cleared Maomao’s head a little as she looked towards her in the darkness.

“I-” Coughing cut her off, her own voice was scratchy and rough - her vocal cords must be damaged, she thought numbly. She would need to see to that before she went to bed.

Suddenly Lady Gyokuyou cried out, something clattered to the floor from her bedside table as the woman’s arm reached towards her as she grunted.

“Maomao…the baby…he’s coming…”

Not for another month. Maomao wanted to say, her mind still struggling to process what had happened. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the man who was now an unmoving lump in her peripheral vision, even though part of her already knew.

Sounds from outside got her moving, she forced herself to her feet as she rushed over to Lady Gyokuyou just as the doors of her room were thrown open.

“Lady Gyokuyou is in labor.” Maomao did her best to put authority into her damaged voice. Her hands moving to push Lady Gyokuyou into a better position to examine her. “I need water, linens and my medical kit from my room. Someone light the lanterns in here.”

She didn’t wait for a response, desperately wiping her hands on her inner robes as she questioned Lady Gyokuyou.

“Are you injured anywhere? Does anything hurt other than the contractions?”

While she answered her questions, Maomao was brought water to wash her hands in. Lantern light was slowly filling the room and she tried not to pay attention to the water as it steadily turned pink under her ministrations. Instead she focused on her patient, on what she needed to do. As long as she had something to do, she could keep her mind from processing what had happened.

“Is the…baby going to…be okay?” Lady Gyokuyou asked between pained gasps, the smell of sweat and blood invaded Maomao’s nose as she set up the water and linens as efficiently as possible. “It’s too soon!”

Maomao wanted to comfort her, but in truth she couldn’t think of what to say. While the shock has clearly prompted her labor to come early, she was only a month out. Though she herself had never delivered a child into this world, she had read that they could survive prematurely if given the right care. She would hardly choose herself for the job if given the choice, but the Palace doctor wouldn’t make it in time.

Voices sounded behind her and Maomao became acutely aware of the amount of people that had entered the room. Gritting her teeth, she shouted commands over her shoulder.

“Everyone out except for Lady Gyokuyou’s ladies! Someone summon the Emperor and the doctor to advise them that Lady Gyokuyou is in labor.” She paused for a moment before adding in a voice that seemed detached from her, “someone also please summon Master Jinshi.”

Without waiting for a response she turned and began to tend to her patient before she could let herself examine that request too closely.