Chapter Text
/ Naruto /
Dear Sasuke,
I hope you guys are okay. I got a message from Itachi this morning and the Akatsuki seem on board with the plan so far but still, be cautious.
How is Iruka-sensei? Is your training going well? Is he still in pain? Tsunade-baachan raided the local pharmacies and stocked up like she’s a one-med-nin-hospital or something, and she put together a bunch of stuff that you might need on the go - it’s in the storage scroll along with some instructions. Make Iruka-sensei follow them to the letter, so he doesn’t hurt anymore.
I’m counting on you to keep him safe while I’m away.
Shikamaru replied to my message already and it’s just as we thought. Danzō has most of the elites under his control - including Kakashi-sensei! It’s a relief to know he’s alive, but at the same time it’s awful to think that bastard has him brainwashed and doing who knows what! He’s barely ever in the village these days and Shikamaru thinks he’s been recruited back to ANBU.
Right where the bastard needs him, so he could be sent to hunt us down.
I’m afraid he might be right. I’m afraid a lot lately. Kurama’s making fun of me for it because no respectable shinobi should ever be afraid but you know what?! That’s bullshit! Everyone is scared sometimes, right?!
I’m scared that one of these days I will have to fight Kakashi-sensei, or someone else from Konoha. I don’t want to hurt anyone.
Unless it’s Danzō.
Shikamaru recruited everyone he could trust and they’ll try to keep us informed of Konoha’s movements - he’s handling a lot of paperwork at Command Central and the others will also be pitching in from their stations. None of them have any summons we could use for sending messages though, so I was thinking I could recreate that on-call summoning seal that Iruka and Kakashi-sensei made to summon Bisuke at the house?
I really miss Bisuke…hope the other ninken are okay and will take care of sensei any way they can. If we could only find a way to explain everything to Pakkun, I bet he’d sneak into the Hokage’s office right away and bite Danzō’s head off!
Do you think Iruka-sensei could describe the seal for me? That way I can make a bunch of copies and have Gamakichi on stand-by for the Konoha 13 - that’s what they’re calling themselves, and us. The badass rookies and team Gai!
I though Ero-sennin could do the seal for me but he said he’s never heard of one like it before. Our teachers really are no joke. I mean, I always knew they were cool, but Jiraiya is supposed to be like a super-seal-master guy and the seal they made is making even his head spin!
I actually wrote a separate letter to Iruka-sensei, but Tsunade-baachan berated me for it until I realized that he wouldn’t be able to read it. Or draw that seal on his own. I might be a chūnin now but I guess I’m still the same old idiot as before. There’s just so much stuff I didn’t realize Iruka-sensei won’t be able to do anymore.
It makes me so angry, to a point Kurama is all seething and bubbly and pissy with me when I just end up crying instead of hunting Danzō for revenge immediately. Just another thing shinobi shouldn’t do but it’s either that or I’d have to explode with all the emotions inside me.
It’s okay if you want to call me a crybaby again.
We reached Suna about a week ago and Ero-sennin hasn’t stopped complaining yet about how hot it is. It’s driving me crazy! He only stops when Tsunade-baachan is around because if he starts whining, she starts throwing bottles at him. Maybe I should get some bottles. Anyway, there are more important news.
DID YOU KNOW GAARA IS GOING TO BE THE KAZEKAGE?!
He’s still training or whatever but he’s been officially appointed to take the hat sometime next year! How cool is that?! I thought I’d be jealous, you know? That he beat me to it, but I’m just glad. And really proud! It’s been just a few months since the exams but he’s come such a long way already from the way he’s been like before. He seems so settled, not a hint of craziness! His siblings seem a lot more at ease with him too. Guess there’s still hope for them.
Seeing him achieve what I once used to dream about, seeing him surrounded by family and friends - yessss he’s got friends now!!! - made me really happy. We’re a lot alike, him and me, so maybe there’s still hope for me too.
For all of us.
What am I even saying?! Of course there’s hope for us! Especially for you and Itachi, you just have to stop being you for one minute and listen to me - for once. I told you before and I’m telling you again, you’ve both wasted too much time already, wallowing in hate and revenge, hopelessness and depression. That shit’s over with so pleeeease act like it.
-N
/ Sasuke /
Naruto,
We’re doing fine. I know you can’t help it but try not to worry about us too much. Iruka’s following Tsunade’s rehab and medication plan - thank her for that on our behalf, it really seems to be helping. Our training is going better than expected - we are to meet with the Akatsuki in a month’s time for the joining ceremony, whatever the hell that is.
I’m glad Gaara is doing well. We will have a potential strong ally, with him as Kazekage. You’ve come a long way too if you didn’t throw a tantrum at the news. We’re proud.
Good idea with the seal, by the way - we don’t have any summons either, so we’ll be able to use that until I maybe get my own contract.
The seal’s attached, I drew it to the best of my ability based on Iruka’s instructions so be careful with it, I have no clue what I was drawing. If you can’t get it to work, we’ll try again with Itachi later. He at least knows what seals are supposed to look like.
Me and Itachi are just fine. Stop meddling.
-S
PS: Maybe use the ravens instead, the toad’s idea of delivering scrolls is very Orochimaru-like. It’s creepy.
/ Shikamaru /
Yo Naruto,
Pretty impressive stuff with the summoning seal - and all these codes, we only started to learn about those now in chūnin base training. Sai provided us with a ROOT-specific codebook, I’m sure that will come in handy - a few copies included in the storage scroll, so feel free to spread them around.
You must have been spotted in Suna - we got a memo that we’re no longer allied with them and hostilities are to be resumed. Their ambassador was summoned to the Hokage’s office and nobody has seen him since - I think he might be dead, but there’s nobody around who would care.
It’s getting kinda scary.
Bit reckless of Danzō though, to immediately anger the only village we were on somewhat good terms with. I still can’t get a good read on him. The way he thinks kinda reminds me of you - it’s too unpredictable. He moves with purpose but I still can’t figure out what his endgame is.
You should take care - everyone is on the lookout for you and the sannin. As it is, you’re kinda hard to miss. Use disguise in public at all times, Danzō has spies everywhere and the hunter nin are out there looking too. Their focus is on Iruka and Sasuke but that doesn’t give you much leeway, given that it’s like the earth swallowed them whole and nobody has seen nor heard anything about them since this mess started.
I can only assume they are with the Akatsuki by now - it’s just a matter of time before it becomes common knowledge, but I’m sure they’re aware of that and will act accordingly. They have a very small window of opportunity to make a name for themselves and raise their threat level in the bingo books - right now, almost everyone is going after them because the reward is just too damn good for how harmless they are painted out to be. If they establish a certain notoriety, they won’t get bothered by other villages or random hunter nin too much.
It’s going to be just Konoha for a long time, I’m afraid. Danzō won’t rest until he gets them alive. Normally I’d say that’s a good thing, that it isn’t a kill-on-sight order, but I think we’d all rather be dead than captured by Danzō. So hey, good news for you - he really doesn’t want you alive. You, the sannin and that apprentice are all KOS..
So stop being stupid and keep that disguise going.
-NS
PS: Your toads are riding my deer around the forest as if they were horses. I’m not even surprised anymore, given that they’re your summons and you were the only person ever to call the Nara ultra-weaponized shinobi-grade deer ‘cute’. Just saying, if those toads get eaten one of these days, I gave them a fair warning!
/ Itachi and Sasuke /
Do you think they bought it? About Naruto.
-S
If I didn’t know any better, I would have believed it myself. When did you get so good at lying?
-I
I wasn’t lying. Being annoyed with Naruto is a genuine constant and for the hate part I just pretended I was talking about Danzō for a moment.
-S
Smart. From what I could observe, they were not suspicious - though Pein did seem unusually interested in the sannin, beyond just establishing their threat level is too high for us to make any opportune moves against Naruto. It’s not the first time either.
-I
You think he knows them? Personally, I mean.
-S
I am not sure about the extent of their involvement, but there seems to be some history there.
-I
That could be useful, eventually.
-S
My thoughts exactly. Perhaps Naruto can find out more from the sannin.
-I
Ah yes, Naruto’s subtle ways of interrogating people will surely do the trick.
-S
I sense a distinct layer of sarcasm in that sentence.
-I
As always, nothing gets past you, aniki.
-S
Naruto’s subtle ways might just be exactly what we need, Jiraiya in particular has never been very forthcoming with intel on people he is or was directly involved with - but that can be said of any proper spy.
-I
Leave it to Naruto then, he can get through to anyone. He made Ibiki spew out jokes. Ibiki. Jokes.
-S
Impossible.
-I
They were terrible jokes but still jokes, I am dead serious.
-S
Naruto is more dangerous than I have ever thought.
-I
You have no idea. I think Yoru is getting annoyed with our messaging, she tried to poop on me.
-S
Ah. Apparently we should be sensible and send proper long letters like Naruto and the others.
-I
That’s not sensible at all.
-S
Agreed.
-I
I think she might renounce your contract if you ever send a single-word message again.
-S
I will steal Kisame’s contract then.
-I
What contract does he have?
-S
Sharks.
-I
Of course he does.
-S
/ Naruto /
Dear Itachi,
We met the first ANBU team from Konoha few days ago near the borders with Iwa. They didn’t recognize us, even though Tonton didn’t have any disguise whatsoever, apparently he doesn’t have his own entry in the bingo books just yet.
As short as the passing meeting was, it wasn’t a great experience at all. For all I know, Kakashi-sensei was among them, though Ero-sennin said he would do these kinds of missions alone and that he would probably be able to recognize us.
Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. We could find a way to get rid of Danzō’s control. I know you said it can’t be easily done, that Danzō himself would have to cancel it - or he would have to die - but it’s not impossible, right? I just don’t think we can wait for Danzō to kick the bucket before helping everyone out from his control. He’ll just keep using it on more and more people…what if he uses it on Gaara? Or one of us?
We’re heading further north to one of the hideouts and will stay there for a while. Ero-sennin wants to do some actual spying in Iwa and I’ll be training with Baachan.
Be safe and keep in touch.
-N
PS: What’s with those one word messages you keep exchanging with Sasuke, do you have any idea how long it took me to get him to use full sentences?! And what’s your excuse, Mr. Five Thousand Words Vocabulary?! For my and the ravens’ sake, please stop…
/ Itachi /
Dearest Naruto,
I wish I could say such encounters will be scarce - truth is, they are very common and aren’t always easy enough to just avoid. On our last mission, we met Asuma and his team and had to fight our way out. Not to worry though, Asuma’s skillset is thankfully very close combat oriented and that’s something Kisame can deal with in his sleep. Non-lethally, if he’s compelled to do so and I can be very compelling.
All you can really do is try your best to get out of such encounters with minimal harm caused on both sides and brace for the fact that it won’t always be possible. Asuma will be fine - though Kisame spent the next week cursing little Shikaku clone for burning his cloak with the many, many explosive tags, even after we have established our covert alliance.
He just did it for the heck of it. I like him. With Shikaku under Danzō’s control, we will need someone capable of subverting his strategies and Shikamaru seems up to that task.
As for cancelling the effects of the mind control, it’s something I’ve been thinking about ever since my encounter with Danzō. The ability itself is unlike any genjutsu or ninjutsu I’ve ever done or witnessed elsewhere and thus can’t be fought in ways similar abilities can be. Like the Yamanaka signature hiden, it would take very particular circumstances or defensive techniques developed over years of exposure to really counter it.
A seal of some sort would be my go-to solution. I’ve made some tests and so far with little result. As much as I hate to admit, this is exactly the kind of seal that would have Orochimaru’s snake fingers written all over it, and while I have successfully adapted his seals into my own designs in the past, creating them from scratch is not something I’m that confident in. Cursed seals do remain to be his natural milieu.
It might come down to setting Orochimaru free and securing his cooperation in this matter, or our only chance of breaking Danzō’s control will be the man’s death. See what the other sannin think about that.
On that note, we have reasons to believe that Jiraiya is connected with the leadership of the Akatsuki more than he let on - or more than he’s aware of. Pein’s reactions to Jiraiya’s involvement are suspicious to say the least, so there might be some history there. Perhaps you could find out, as subtly as you possibly can. Unlike Tsunade, he won’t respond well to bluntness, at least not in my experience. I trust you’ll find a way though.
You will definitely be glad to hear that Sasuke and Iruka have been very successful with their missions lately, in spite of many run-ins with hunter-nin. I highly doubt anyone would dare call Iruka-san an ‘easy target’ or ‘weak’ after these, frankly impressive shows of skill and teamwork he has going with my little brother.
Sasuke did tell me that Iruka and you are a lot alike but I haven’t quite seen it until now. Stubbornness aside, both of you are unbelievably clueless about just how much power you wield - over your abilities as well as power you hold over others. The way you can adapt in the face of adversity as well as influence others to do the same.
Needless to say, Iruka has the other Akatsuki members either cowering in the corner in absolutely warranted fear (he might have threatened everyone to stay away from Sasuke in ways that even had me nodding and promising compliance) or cozying up to him. Those that he met, anyway. He’s entirely unaware that what he sees as useless skills is what will soon rank up his Bingo book way up high. His traps and barriers alone are state of the art but the way he now utilizes the echolocation is beyond what most shinobi would think possible.
I’ll leave it at that - and a note that when Hidan tried to sneak into his room, the trap he stepped into had him dangling upside down, bouncing from one side to the other like some demented pendulum for the whole night, and then walking around with near permanent tattoos all over his body and face - ranging from curses to lewd doodles.
He had to sacrifice himself to Jashin twice before they went away.
-I
/ Jiraiya /
Itachi,
It took some weeks to persuade Tsunade to go through with our plan but hopefully it will be worth it. She wants me to note that she thinks we are all insane and will all end up snake-dinner.
Orochimaru is out of the bag, so to speak, and after just weeks of his constant company I already feel like sealing him right back into the scroll. He’s been warned that if he tries something shady or tries running, the Akatsuki will hunt him down with extreme prejudice.
Though the letter he received from Sasuke might have been a much better deterrent than any threat we might have come up with. The section about him hurting Naruto was particularly graphic and gruesome in the detail of things Sasuke and Iruka would do to him.
He’s behaving - for now, but he’s not very happy with how thorough you’ve been at cleaning up his snake-y empire. Apparently, some of his ‘experiments’ would have been very useful to him right now. Anyway, we’ll be going around some of his hideouts to gather stuff he needs to start working on that seal and eventually make our way towards Otogakure.
By his own admission - and I could see just how much it pissed him off - it will not be an easy seal to create by any means, but the challenge of it seems to be a good enough motivation (and distraction) for him, along with the thought of getting rid of Danzou (looks like there’s no love lost between them, with Danzou being a big reason why he was never so much as considered for Hokage).
Just be prepared that there will be some extensive testing needed, and the only way to do that is for you to use the eye on someone.
-J
PS: Naruto is about as good a spy as you’re a villain. So for your future schemes, just ask me directly and spare the kid the embarrassment. No - I don’t know Pein outside of the many rumors I’ve heard over the years, so whatever you’re thinking has nothing to do with me and if it does, I am not aware of it.
/ Sasuke /
Sending a copy of this message to everyone before the rumor reaches you and you have a chance to freak out and siege Konoha for no reason (talking to you, Naruto!).
Yes, we had a run in with Konoha ANBU. No, there weren’t fifty of them, just ten. No, Kakashi was not among them and no, we were not defeated, kidnapped and dragged back to Konoha inside a storage scroll.
In fact, we had a storage scroll full of Konoha ANBU - or rather ROOT - that we might have accidentally set on fire and burnt to bits. It was a close call that did at one point had us outnumbered and captured and about to be dragged to Konoha - but that’s not how it went.
We’re fine. The ROOT operatives are decidedly not fine. I bet Danzō will be extremely pissed off about this one.
-S
/ Naruto /
SASUKE!
HOW DARE YOU MAKE US WORRY LIKE THAT YOU BASTARD!
…I’m happy to hear you’re both okay but damn. Don’t do this to me again, teme! I was almost on my way to Konoha, ready to let Kurama out of his cage and eviscerate anyone that stands in our way.
Yes, I know, that’s a stupid thing to even contemplate because Konoha doesn’t deserve to be destroyed just because it has a few rotten leaves but I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY! If something were to happen to you, or Iruka, or anyone, I just…I don’t know if I could keep it together. And Kurama’s not even making me crazy or anything, he was actually trying to calm me down.
I really miss you. All of you. I haven’t seen you in over a year and even when things are going just fine I just can’t help but worry and then when rumors like these reach us it’s like all of my fears are coming alive and it scares me a little that at that point, I wouldn’t even care if Kurama razed the whole world in vengeance.
That bastard Orochimaru was real entertained by my freaking out…I set the ravens on him. Wasn’t laughing for long once the poop attacks started. Serves him right, he’s still the same creep we met in the Forest of the Dead, but mostly keeps his dangly noodle head to himself. After Tsunade-baachan punched him face-first into a mountain, he even keeps his taunting comments to himself.
Really sucks to admit this, but he’s so damn good with seals! Even Ero-sennin gets all grumpy watching him work sometimes and he’s like a sealing genius…which also sucks to admit. I just realized that if anyone can figure out how to counter the mind control with a seal, it’s us! I mean, we have so many seal masters on our side - the snake, the perv sage, Itachi, Iruka and hell, even Shikamaru! He really needs to pipe down on those explosive tags, I was just testing one out and created a new canyon with it!
Stay safe and keep us in the loop!
-N
PS: There’s some sealing stuff in the included storage scroll, for Iruka-sensei. It’s from the snake-bastard so be careful with it. Me and Ero-sennin checked it out and it looked fine but you never know.
Oh, and if the baka-sannin tells you that I’ve grown out my hair to match yours then please ignore him. I only did it for practical purposes - of not letting anyone near my hair with their kunai. I swear the only consistently sober person here is Shizune-neechan but the one time I let her give me a haircut, I ended up looking like a balding old man. Even Orochimaru laughed at me, genuinely laughed at me. We spent a week making sure he wasn’t an imposter.
/ Sakura /
Dear Naruto,
Give our thanks to Tsunade-sama for the study materials she sent, me and Ino are learning tons! I’m still a better medic than her, of course…but those poisoned senbon are no joke, I already pity anyone who tries to get in her way. Whoever thought introducing her to Genma would be a good idea is a genius, but like on an evil genius scale.
Kakashi-sensei was in the hospital this past week. Usually I don’t have access to the restricted area the ANBU end up in, but usually the head-nurse is not stupid enough to leave the doors unsealed.
No wonder I barely ever see him around the village, he must be doing back-to-back missions all the time. He was pretty banged up and chakra exhausted but the moment he got discharged he was out of the village again. That just can’t be good. Gai-sensei might be in Danzō’s pocket but even that doesn’t stop him from worrying about his eternal rival.
Hope you’re doing alright, Sasuke wrote me one entire sentence so he’s obviously fine. I’m sure Shika is keeping you updated, but the whole gang made chūnin now! Actually, Shino and Neji are in the middle of the jōnin exams! Our bets are that they’ll make it. We nagged at Shika that he should have applied as well, but he’s got some schemes going that he needs to stay chūnin for - according to him anyway, Ino will never stop suspecting him for just being too lazy to deal with the responsibilities.
We miss you guys, stay strong!
-Sakura
PS: Including a report from Shikamaru about the newest affairs at Command Central. Neji is organizing patrols this month so there’s a schedule available as well and Ino smuggled briefing minutes from the latest T&I briefing. Shino takes shifts at the mission desk so he got his hands on a list of pending mission deployments - disregard the state of it, Akamaru chewed on it as he was spiriting it away from the room. See if there’s anything important and send copies to the others. Yes, I could have sent all this to Sasuke and Iruka-sensei, but I think it’s about time you did some more important paperwork!
/ Sasuke /
Dear Naruto,
Meet my new summons! No, this is not Yoru painted brown, it’s Kano - he’s a hawk and the one I have signed the contract with. He already has me on nestling duty though…apparently a big part of contracts is taking care of the younglings and these younglings just love burrowing into my hair and making a nest out of it as we travel along.
I will murder you if you say anything about how my hair already looked like a nest so it’s just finally serving as one too. What are you doing with the tadpoles anyway? I don’t remember them annoying you like this. Any tips? Itachi just laughed at me and walked off…bastard.
Don’t want to bother Iruka too much, he’s in a bit of a mood these days. Well, ever since our latest encounter with Konoha’s forces. There were some people there that he knew and didn’t really take their comments well…or the fact we had to disable them quite violently to get away. He’s all quiet and broody now, kinda like you would be if the world banned ramen from existence. It’s unnatural and it bothers me, all the more because I don’t know what to do about it.
You should see him in a fight, he’s like nothing you remember from before. I mean, he always had that dangerous vibe to him in the mission room and in class but it’s not like we’ve ever seen him back that up with some battle moves. Now that I have, I’m surprised our classroom survived to graduation.
But that’s kinda part of the problem I think. Just because he has the power doesn’t mean that he likes using it and violence definitely doesn’t come naturally to him. Something Itachi said and as usual, he’s right. I think that now that he uses his abilities in ways that have our opponents running for the hills, it scares him more than anything else.
You would know what to do…I’m useless beyond giving him space and keeping my usual silence. Can’t even make him laugh at me when the baby hawks poo in my hair because he can’t see them…and that, too, bothers him sometimes. I’m sure he thinks he’s sneaky about it but there’s only so much he can hide behind a bandana, the rest of his face I can read just fine. Every now and then it dawns on him just how many things he can’t do without his sight and while it doesn’t stop him from being badass, it does make him sad. That bothers me too.
Not sure when is this going to reach you, might be too soon or too late, regardless - happy birthday.
You’re getting old now - by your own words, fifteen is old. Suck it up, we’re not getting any younger, might as well own it. Iruka included a gift in the storage scroll, don’t ask me what it is - apparently getting inside the heavily warded, trapped and sealed off scroll is part of the experience, so I didn’t even attempt it. Hopefully it’s nothing lethal - but I’m sure you’re good enough to crack it.
My gift’s a lot more boring but with a lot less potential to kill you…unless you somehow manage to strangle yourself with it. Or choke on it. Please don’t. Surely you’ve outgrown your eating habits and I have high hopes that you know how to put on a cloak without major injury. Maybe not that high, now that I remembered how you almost severed your fingers zipping up the chūnin vest.
Just be careful, dobe.
The other Akatsuki are being less of a nuisance than I expected - as far as missing nin who betrayed their own village in dozen different ways go. We finally met Tobi and his creepy cactus of a buddy - seriously, the guy is like, half plant and I don’t care for the way he leers at me.
Tobi, who I agree must be seriously demented if he’s some secret evil Uchiha mastermind but constantly plays the jester the way he does, seems a lot more suspicious to Iruka. Something about his chakra being familiar in a way he can’t place and it nags at him.
Deidara’s annoying as fuck, one of these days I will make him devour his own face and have it explode into nonexistence. Sasori would probably cheer me on - and then poison me with one of his creepy puppets. Kisame’s surprisingly alright, for a fishy guy like him. He would have to be, if Itachi tolerated him for this long. Hidan keeps yapping about Jashin and Kakuzu religiously studies Bingo book updates to calculate all the profit he’ll make from killing random missing nin - he gave us a particularly scathing glare when our bounty got higher than his own. What a weirdo.
Pein is clearly the most mature one of the whole lot, even if he’s not the oldest. If I had to run a meeting with these idiots on a regular basis, I would have to strangle half of them before even finishing attendance, yet he is more stone-faced than any Uchiha I’ve ever met. His lady-friend, Konan, gives me serious Sakura vibes - in the sense that if one glare from her doesn’t stop you from annoying her, she will absolutely throw the nearest throwable object in your face (if you’re lucky) with deadly precision. She’s got some funky paper powers and let me tell you, those pointy paper-cranes looked like a bitch to pluck out of Kisame’s ass.
On second thought, she’s kinda like Iruka. The two of them are definitely on the same page when it comes to handling the Akatsuki - like they’re misbehaving kids at the Academy. The meetings are the one time he can channel his inner teacher and that at least manages to improve his mood significantly. It’s also quite satisfying to watch these S-rank super dangerous missing nin walk in giant circles around Iruka when they know he’s at his element - they sure learnt their lesson about pissing him off and somehow it now warrants more evasive methods than them avoiding Itachi.
He’ll deny it, but I totally saw that pout when he realized he’s no longer the biggest danger in the room with Iruka’s temper at large.
There. I hope you’re satisfied with the length of my letters now and no, Iruka did not bully me into writing all of this. Most of it. Okay, he totally did and I don’t even know how he does it because it’s not like he can glare at me, he just…tilts his head in my direction, in a way that usually means he’s about to fuck someone’s shit up and I am too young and cool to die.
-S
PS: I am being extorted to add this in and just want to point out that I think it’s stupid and nonsensical and nothing to really go into but again, I would like to live to see sixteen.
I’ve been having some weird reoccurring dreams for a while, didn’t think much about it - what happens in them varies a lot except the location is always the same and I didn’t recognize it, but Iruka did when I described it once. So yeah, I guess it’s odd to dream about a place I’ve never seen or been to and that actually does exist but it’s just a dream, it’s not like it means anything.
Or at least I hope it doesn’t, because some of those dreams were really freaky. Still beats the nightmares though, so, whatever. We might visit the place if we get a mission around the Land of Hot Waters - it’s called Valley of the End. Iruka taught us about it in History classes, so I assume you have no idea what it is. Kinda part of both our ancestral history so, read up, dobe.
Not that it means anything. Seriously. Just weird dreams. No excuse for you not to study though and that’s an Iruka-approved message!
/ Naruto /
Dear Sasuke,
Kano’s one very majestic bird! Though he turned into a teenage-bird the moment I introduced him to Tsuki, they kept bickering with each other the whole time, then argued over who gets to stay on top of my head, when I said neither of them could, they argued over both of my shoulders and when I sent them into time-out they pooped all over Orochimaru and got chased by his tiny super hissy snakelings - they’re no joke, they scaled up trees and even jumped off into the air! I almost worried the birds would end up snake snack, but Tsunade-baachan assured me those are Orochi-bastard’s ‘annoyance snakes’, not the super deadly venomous ones.
In the end, Kurama established peace among the summons - I know, right? Kurama making peace? I am such a bad influence on him. Though Orochimaru supplies him with enough evil schemes.
Akatsuki sound like quite a bunch, who knows - we might all be friends one day! Yes, even Zetsu, what’s wrong with being a plant?! …I miss my garden. Sakura wrote that they take turns watering it so it’s still alive but I miss the routine of it and watching it grow and bloom. WE MISSED THE FIRST TOMATO HARVEST! AND THE SECOND AND THIRD!
Anyway, thanks for remembering my birthday! I still don’t really feel like celebrating but the past few years ‘on the run’ certainly made it much better than in Konoha, in the middle of the festival celebrating Kurama’s defeat. Makes him grumpy just with me writing about it…and angry when he remembers what the villagers were like, especially after a bottle of saké or two. Spending my birthday locked in my apartment all day and night definitely beat trying to celebrate it, although Iruka-sensei would come and bring me ramen later on. That was nice…I’d kill for some Ichiraku right now.
Shizune cooked me a giant pot of ramen, which was so much better than any birthday cake could ever be (also ate the instant one you sent me immediately after, it was too damn good!), Baachan didn’t gamble for a month so she could afford to buy me a new set of clothes (finally, I can wear something that fits me and your cloak is a perfect match!), Orochimaru even got me a real nice super-resistant sealing paper that I’ve been trying to destroy with my most explosive techniques since (unsuccessfully, mind you), and Ero-sennin is teaching me this awesome teleportation technique that my dad totally stole from the Nidaime - hah! - and uses the cool kunai thingies I got for becoming chūnin.
Feels like a lifetime ago.
Really, the only thing missing for the best birthday ever were you, Iruka, Kakashi and Itachi. Wouldn’t even need the gifts, not even the ramen, just you guys. Thank Iruka-sensei for me - I did open the scroll, eventually and with…nothing major exploding in the process. Turns out it was a two-parter gift he somehow coordinated with both Itachi and Shikamaru - a set of fire-chakra infused sealing ink that goes along with the newest set of explosive tag seals and that super-secret Uchiha warming technique - that I can now put into a seal and use on the cloak!
I almost look cool enough to join the Akatsuki now, haha!
We’ve been in Otogakure for a couple months now. Turns out whatever was left of Orochi’s evil empire after Itachi rampaged through it slithered back into this…I struggle to call it a village. It’s a bunch of creepy dens, definitely up to Orochi’s standards. I can’t wait to get outta here.
No, we didn’t have to fight anyone. They were all too happy to see Orochimaru is alive and well (beasts me why anyone ever would…) and he wasted no time ordering his experimental minions around. With the other sannin’s supervision of course, so no more evil schemes. Well, maybe evil to Danzō. They all folded into teams and were sent to spy and infiltrate and who knows what. Oh - one of them is an Uzumaki! Some distant relation, apparently. Not that she seemed keen on family reunions beyond fangirling over Orochimaru.
Ugh.
Some of them have connections to other villages and Ero-sennin saw it as a way to extend our connections beyond Suna. We’re sending some reports attached, about the other tailed beasts - we might be able to ally with some of them. Probably not all but enough to make a difference if it ever comes down to fighting them.
Wish I could say I’d know what to do to help Iruka-sensei but I can’t even begin to understand what he’s going through. What I do know is that just having you around helps a bunch and we both know that pitying him in any way would only earn us a stink bomb to the face. Just be you and keep doing what you’re doing - trust me, it’s enough.
I miss you both, a lot. Can’t wait to see you all again. Be prepared for a lot of yelling and hugging, be grumpy all you want, I don’t care, there’ll be cuddles, teme!
-N
PS: Just because they are ‘only dreams’ doesn’t mean they might not be important, especially if they bother you as much as they obviously do. Yeah, I’m stupid and oblivious but not when it comes to you and your exceptionally long letter has less to do with Iruka bullying you into writing it and more to do with you trying to not freak out about something - and I bet it’s the dreams. Normally you would cook or read or listen to me rambling about my plants in the garden but you had to settle for writing.
Which is completely fine. I freak out all the time - hence me devouring all twenty cups of the instant ramen after already having devoured a giant-ass cauldron of home-made ramen beforehand. I stress-eat and punch things and yell - last time I woke up in a mood, I did all three things at the same time - ate a whole wok of fried noodles while yelling and punching at Orochi-bastard.
You should go there. Even if it doesn’t mean anything, even if it’s just a dream, just your mind playing some weird trick on you - go there, see if it helps or explains anything. Maybe it will and even if it won’t then at least you’ll know. Iruka-sensei will be with you and he’ll always have your back, dattebayo!
I might as well visit it too, it’s just off of borders with Oto after all, but we are trying to avoid Land of Fire for now. You’re right, it is part of our mutual history, more yours than mine but Tsunade-baachan insists that I’m as much part of the Senju clan as she is, although not as directly in regards to the Shodaime. And Kurama gave me an earful for not knowing anything about that battle - especially since he played such a big role in it and it’s how he ended up being sealed away in the first place.
What an epic battle it must have been, to carve out an entire valley! Madara and Hashirama were so badass! Too bad they ended up fighting each other. Feels like they could have build so much more together outside of Konoha if it weren’t for their falling out.
I kinda get why Orochimaru compared us to them now, although we’re not that badass yet! I guess we do have the potential to do something big together - or destroy a whole lot apart.
So, let’s not fight, ne, Sasuke? Senju and the Uchiha changing landscapes with their battles? Fuck that, we’re better than that, the only landscaping we’ll do is while making our new yard and garden!
Do you think Madara liked tomatos?
/ Danzō /
This is the last time I am making this a request - dispose of both the Uchiha and deliver the teacher pet to me, otherwise consider our alliance void and your organization free for me to destroy. You have no reason to risk your ambitions on their behalf - after all, what are two more Uchiha gone from the world, when you have already helped annihilate the most of them?
Make the right choice or suffer the consequence of disobeying me.
/ ??? /
How bold of you to assume your puny threats mean anything to me or the organization. You know, better than most, what we are truly capable of so play the good little Hokage as you’ve always wanted to and stay out of our way. Cross our path, make moves against us and ours and we will burn the whole village to the ground in retaliation.
/ Danzō /
As you wish. Know you are merely harboring the means to your own downfall. I’ve already learnt my lesson - one day soon, you will too and by then it will be all too late.
/ Itachi /
Shikamaru-san,
Be ware that Hidan and Kakuzu will have an extensive bounty hunting mission within the Land of Fire for anywhere between two to four months - no targets from Konoha, in fact their success might be to your benefit. Our intel suggests a group of missing nin from Kumo and Iwa have set up a base of operation somewhere east of Konoha and that can only mean trouble for you.
Luckily, I suppose, the bounty for them is too high for Kakuzu to ignore and with a decent cut towards the organization, even Pein sanctioned the hunt, which will solve this problem for you. Warn everyone to be careful if you are forced to move into that area though - best avoid all and any contact with the two of them. The missing nin, I have no doubt you could handle on your own - Hidan and Kakuzu are however, how to put it…made from a different dough.
The chakra-specific explosive tags you sent us samples of are very impressive. I tried fiddling with the seals to get some additional effects - see attached (and try with extreme caution).
Also attached are sample scrolls of different poisons that I’ve been collecting over the years - they are used by Sasori, one of our members. If it ever comes down to a fight, I’d prefer we don’t perish to these, because they are as lethal as Sasori’s aim with his thousand senbon. Normally I’d send them to Tsunade-sama, but she mentioned that it could be a good practice for you, Sakura-san and Ino-san, as you’ve been training anti-dote preparation under her guidance.
The Nara medicinal craft is unmatched in this part of the world, I’m sure your mother must be thrilled that you have picked it up as well. Thrilled is not a word I could ever use with Shikaku-taichou, but he will undoubtedly be proud to see how much you have applied yourself over the years, once this is over with.
-I
/ Shikamaru /
Yo, Itachi,
First of, stop being so formal. I’m pretty sure you have us at both rank and seniority but none of us can address you formally because Naruto keeps calling you ‘Ita-niichan’ at every single opportunity in his messages so…take it up with him or just address us accordingly.
Those ‘additional effects’ blew up a mountain and blinded me for half a day, pretty cool - I made some additions too, attached. Definitely test with caution. Like, ‘wait for Iruka to have a barrier ready to protect you’ level of caution.
I wasn’t sure who to inform about this, but I think when it comes to Naruto and Sasuke, the news might be best received from you. The Uchiha Compound has been seized and leveled - if the rumors and some leaked sketches are to be believed, the whole area will be repurposed into shinobi living quarters and training grounds.
Sorry. We tried keeping the house in order, but it’s gone now. So is the garden - break the news gently to Naruto because none of the plants survived. Break it to Sasuke gently as well because that includes the tomatos.
Danzō is getting more and more aggressive - at first, it seemed like he wanted Konoha to be more isolationistic with the way he kept cutting ties and closing off borders but that must have been just the first step. I think he’s planning something a lot more complex than just playing with the Land of Fire like it’s his personal sandbox. He’s amounting too much power for it to be just that.
He’ll definitely be looking into opportunities to use that power against the other villages - all of whom have us on their shit list now. Maybe even to a point they would work with each other to fight us, and isn’t that a crazy thought? If there’s one good thing that might come out of this - allying all the hidden villages against a common enemy, even if that enemy is Konoha, might just be it. Food for thought.
Sai got a very interesting piece of intel from his last ROOT meeting - Orochimaru is officially back on the kill list. Or is it unofficially? He was never really off of it - officially - but as far as ROOT was concerned, he was still considered to be an ally or at least a potential ally until now.
Allegedly, ever since it’s become known that he joined up with the other sannin, they were dispatching numerous units to contact him - likely to bring him back into the fold and in the process, get rid of the two other sannin and Naruto as well. Nobody ever heard of those ‘numerous units’ afterwards and if he’s now officially an enemy of Konoha in ROOT’s eyes, it must mean Danzō doesn’t count him as ally anymore and has given up on trying.
Even more allegedly, Orochimaru did return the ROOT operatives to him - in unspecified but supposedly breathtaking number of pieces - and replied to his proposal messages with insults too crass to voice (Neji’s too proper for his own good, I’ll look into it with Ino because that sounds like something to get a good laugh out of if it’s true).
Basically, the snake told the fossil to fuck off. Make of that what you will. I won’t say that the gamble of letting the snake out might be paying off…but it might be getting there.
Thanks for the warning, we’ll be on the lookout - no need to stress how much we need to avoid those two after Sasuke vividly described how they casually stab each other through the heart on a daily basis and just walk it off! That is, if Kakuzu isn’t just casually carrying Hidan’s living head around in his hand like it’s a stylish handbag (thank you, Ino, for your fucked up input).
-NS
/ Sasuke /
Naruto,
Stop moping, it’s making all the summons grumpy. We’re all angry but until we take Danzō down, there’s nothing we can do about it.
I know it was your home, our home, something you never really had before and only did have for such a short time…still, what he torn down and took away was a house, not a home. Home is not a place, it’s a feeling that comes with it and that we can get back any time.
After it’s all over, we’ll make a new home. And a new garden, of course, large enough for the ninken to run around all day. Maybe a bunch of tall trees for the hawks and ravens to perch on, and a pond for your toads.
We’re in Suna right now. Have been for weeks, actually. I don’t know how the people here can stand this forsaken heat all day every day. Left my hood down for just a few hours and according to Iruka, I now look like a tomato - which, strangely, does offend me.
I got used to it though. Clear blue skies, not a cloud in sight, the sun burning across the horizon.
Makes me think of you.
Be safe.
-S
/ Naruto /
Sasuke,
This made me think of you - it’s some kind of mineral set in silver - if you heat it up with chakra, it shines in the dark, almost like the moon. I used a reinforcing seal on the silver chain so you can safely hang it off your tantō.
Thank you. For…you know.
And happy birthday!
-N
/ Sasuke /
It’s a quartz, apparently. Iruka gave me an hour long lecture on minerals and how heating some of them in sunlight or with fire-type chakra makes them go fluorescent. That’s a new word even for me.
It’s beautiful.
-S
/ Hinata /
Dear Kankurou-san,
Your message found us well. As I’m sure my friends already confirmed on behalf of their own clans, the Hyuuga will of course support this alliance between Konoha and Suna, once the time comes. Although I can speak for my father in clan matters in an official capacity now, I doubt he would agree with this course of action right now, given he isn’t of his own mind.
I was relieved to hear about your brother’s progress, both as a person and as the Kazekage. Give him my best wishes and thanks for fostering good relations between us, even in such dangerous times. Hopefully Konoha will be able to repay Suna in kind, one day.
Thank you as well, for the art booklet. I am not sure what I did to deserve such a beautiful gift but I must say that it makes me wish I had the opportunity to visit all the breathtaking places of the Land of Wind it depicts. Perhaps in the future, I will.
Best regards,
Hyuuga Hinata
/ Kankurou /
Dearest Hinata-sama,
I am happy to hear that the Hyuuga are amicable to the alliance - yes, the request has merely been a formality, since Konoha 13 already confirmed everything beforehand on more than one occasion but still, the official confirmation is well received. Perhaps we will seal it one day, in person.
I would be more than happy to show you those place around the Land of Wind, I have been to some of them and they really are beautiful. As I’m sure many corners of the Land of Fire are.
One day we’ll have peace and we’ll travel to all of them.
-K
/ Gaara /
Dear Itachi,
It is as you predicted. With all diplomatic ties cut off, Konoha also withdrew from the Chūnin Exam rotation. Naturally, all other villages denounced the decision and warned him that any new chūnin they promote on their own will not be recognized internationally - something Danzō clearly doesn’t care about.
Considering the lack of communication and immediate hostilities when Konoha’s operatives are encountered, there are talks about war. Although no village seems to be very keen on making the first move - or any move. Danzō is nothing if not ruthless and that, among other things, contributes to a deterrent against confronting him and by extension Konoha itself.
Suna’s stance is the same - our border with the Land of Fire is extensive and past conflicts had taught us much about how detrimental it can be to have our forces constantly stretched thin. On our own, we will not be making any moves.
I had doubts that anything could ever lead to the villages allying together to reach a common goal. Your suggestion that Danzō will eventually dig himself a hole so deep it won’t be possible for the villages to ignore any longer was, simply said, ludicrous to me.
I digress.
Perhaps with time and in light of further acts on Danzō’s part, an alliance capable of taking him down will, in fact, be formed.
On that note, I have spoken with Chiyo-baasama and at first, she was reluctant to speak of the past, often derailing our conversations into bouts of seemingly senile ramblings. Truth is, the past is a deep wound to her, one that still bleeds, knowing where the pain and their way of life has driven Sasori to.
Without you having to tell me, I know Sasori will not be swayed by any words or sentiments from what little remains of his family or ties to our village.
In many ways, he is like me - and it would take nothing short of Uzumaki Naruto to make him believe there is more to life than pain and loneliness and his self-destructive path towards eternal perfection in his art. Especially if allying with Konoha would be in any way part of this future, as he undoubtedly blames his pain - or at least the beginning of it - on Konoha, and by extension on the whole of shinobi world as well.
The eternal conflict that made him an orphan and then threw him right back into it, shaping and molding him into the very same kind of weapon that ended his parents’ lives. If eternal peace is what the Akatsuki preach to be after, then his loyalty to that cause must be absolute.
I wish I had anything to offer, anything to say that could change his mind but there’s nothing I can think of that could, other than an equal cause - in deed and spirit. He is too jaded by now to be reasoned with any other way.
Good luck.
-G
/ Kisame /
YOu bRAt!
I have had it with these fucking hawks and these fucking ravens in this fucking cave!!
They shit in my face again, I don’t care which one, I’m catching them all and giving them deep underwater swimming lessons. If you know I mean.
You just try and tell on me to your brother, at this point I will put myself inside Tsukuyomi for a week, voluntarily!
/ Sasuke on Iruka’s behalf /
Shit-face,
to quote my esteemed companion here:
If you touch those birds, Tsukuyomi will be the least of your problems.
Do you know what happens to a shark when you stuck it between two objects and then move those objects towards each other? Extremely, and I mean, EXTREMELY, slowly?
Unless you want to find out what it’s like to be flatter than flatbread, there won’t be a feather askew on any of the summons. Don’t care what they do to your face, don’t care if they steal your sword (how in the hell did they manage that, Mr. S-rank Missing nin?) or if they leave dead mice in your shoes.
Unlike Itachi, who for some Kami-forsaken reason actually likes you, I absolutely will make sushi out of you, not just threaten you with it.
And when I’m done with you, I’m sending Konan to deal with whatever’s left.
Oh, and Sasuke will be keeping the sword next time as spoils of war.
I sure as hell will, so don’t try us.
-S
/ Naruto /
Dear Itachi,
Is Kisame okay? He keeps asking my toads if they’re carnivorous. Apparently, he’s being bullied by some ‘insects’ but when Gamakichi happily offered his insect-hunting skills he just grumbled something, pointed at the sky and walked off.
I didn’t think anyone could ever bully someone like Kisame, you know? Without ending up Samehada’s chow.
Oh well. Tell him he owes insect snacks to my toads!
-N
/ ??? /
Are you really taking a stand against Danzō?
/ ??? /
My, my. Is that really so hard to believe? Everyone is constantly questioning it. Better question is, are you taking a stand against him?
With things the way they are, can you, even?
/ ??? /
Danzō has no power over me anymore, and certainly not the kind you are suggesting now. I know how to play my part, because I know Danzō better than most.
/ ??? /
Do you? How sad indeed, that you haven’t seen all this coming then. Don’t be so deceived by all your knowledge of him and his motives, it fooled smarter people than you - no, I don’t just mean myself.
What is the point of this? Seeing that you’re using these particular summons to communicate with me, I can only assume you’re not alone in having some uncanny plan in mind for Danzou.
/ ??? /
I’d like to believe there are many more than just the few of us here that are making such plans. Danzō’s reign must end.
Understandably, you cannot trust any message coming from within, but know that if - or rather - when you make your move, you will not be alone either.
/ ??? /
How reassuring. Well then, on that note, know that you are not the only ones we are in cahoots with on the inside. Understandably, I won’t tell you who that is exactly, but they’ve been doing a much better job of it so far.
Why it took you so long to reach out is beyond me. Tell me, where does your precious captain stand in this matter?
/ ??? /
He’s not with us. Danzō got to him before he even became Hokage.
We try to look out for him but Danzō has him on missions outside of Konoha, constantly. He’s either out there, or in the hospital. Nothing in between.
When it comes down to it, he would be one of those we’ll have to fight off.
/ ??? /
Maybe, or maybe not. We are not idling on our end either, you know? Once we set our plan in motion, you will know - and then you can prove on who’s side you really stand.
/ ??? /
So be it. Do no think us friends though.
/ ??? /
Awww. Words can hurt, you know?
/ Jiraiya /
Itachi,
Damn you and your sixth sense! Scratch everything I said about not knowing your esteemed leaders, truth is - I might.
In your last letter, which Naruto can’t stop yapping about because how dare you have an Akatsuki ramen dinner party without inviting him, you mentioned Konan.
I have known a Konan before - mild-mannered, fair-skin, blue hair. A singularly unique kekkei genkai that allowed her to cast various paper-made ninjutsu.
Her and two other boys - Nagato (red hair, taller than the others, Rinnegan eyes) and Yahiko (orange hair, giant-ass sword, smile that could rival Naruto’s) - were orphans of the war with Amegakure that I have trained for three years after the war. They were a formidable team and after having left them to their own devices, they made many notable accomplishments as shinobi of Ame, seeking what most war orphans do - peace among the shinobi nations.
The last I heard of them, they all died.
If Konan survived, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that she’s still part of the Akatsuki now, considering their overall goal - wouldn’t, in fact, surprise me if she had some part to play in setting that goal. Still, if it truly is her, then I cannot explain why she never made contact with me or why I have never learnt of her survival until now.
Their death is the reason I have never taken any more students, they’re the reason…never mind. They were everything I hoped the new generation of shinobi would be and with their death and then Minato’s death, that hope dwindled right along with my Will of Fire.
Nagato reminded me of Minato a lot back then, he had the same kind of drive and talent - the kind I thought could truly change the world for the better, certainly with how much conviction Yahiko had in that goal and pushed them all towards it.
Nagato possessed the Rinnegan, which I’m sure you’ve heard about before, and was quite skilled with it too. Nagato’s power combined with his will to never give up and to always protect his friends…I never thought anything could ever overcome that, certainly not to a point it would result in their deaths.
Alongside Yahiko and Konan, he was unstoppable. They were unstoppable. Or so I thought.
In many ways, they were much like Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura - or what they could have become at this point, if not separated by the circumstances and past events. So much like me, Tsuna and Orochimaru, too.
If this is the same Konan, then perhaps I do have an opening into establishing this alliance through her - or it might just as well be the downfall of it, I don’t know…
-J
/ Itachi /
Jiraiya-sama,
I’m not sure what all of this means yet, but it is as you say - it might be our way to ally with the Akatsuki without having to shed too much blood, or it will all terribly backfire.
The Konan you described is quite certainly the Konan we know, although ‘mild-mannered’ is not the word I’d use for her, at least not when in the company of the other Akatsuki. Between her and Iruka, I don’t know who runs a hotter temper at times - or who can silence the room quicker. I don’t know much about her abilities, but they are indeed of paper nature - her skill with them need no more proof than the fact she defeated both Sasori and Hidan in a fight, while recruiting them.
It’s the boys you mentioned that might be the key. See, Pein also happens to have the Rinnegan and is more than proficient with it. It’s the number one reason our plan rests so heavily on persuading him to reconsider our current goal, instead of fighting him.
His appearance, however, does not match this Nagato you mentioned - nobody does (aside from perhaps Sasori’s not-so-human form, but his identity is indisputable). I would dare say it matches Yahiko, in the orange hair alone, but he uses no swords and I sure would remember a smile to rival Naruto’s own - the reason I noticed his uncanny interest in the mentioning of your name was exactly because there’s never any emotion in his expression whatsoever.
In any case, the story of your students might be more complicated than you must have believed until now.
I suggest you to meet with them personally, once we put our initial plan into effect, and argue our case for us in my stead. Whatever result it yields, you will at least get some closure on the matter of your mutual past.
Should we be successful in persuading them, our real obstacle would only come down to Zetsu and Tobi, who’s identity continues to escape me. They are often away, barely ever physically present for any of our meetings and my subtle endeavors into uncovering his true identity hit a stone wall every time. As if the man didn’t even exist before joining the Akatsuki. The only one who probably knows everything is Zetsu - and that’s the one person I cannot subtly interrogate.
We must be wary of him, maybe even more so than Tobi. Unlike the other members, they are unlikely to be swayed by Pein’s change in attitude because as I said, Tobi or Zetsu are the ones behind the current agenda. As such, I cannot see any other way of dealing with them, other than a fight.
-I
/ Naruto & Sasuke /
Dear Sasuke,
We passed through the Valley of the End some time ago - yeah, I know, moving through the Land of Fire like that, what are we thinking, right? Well, it couldn’t be helped.
Your dreams aside, it was actually quite nice - the statues are awesome and the waterfall provided cool refreshment amidst the heat of this summer. The surrounding forests gave us shade too…but it mostly just made me sad. Longing to be in a place I couldn’t be.
My dreams, nightmares, whatever - they remain the same. No unexpected visions of the Valley, normal, freaky or otherwise. Can’t say you are not in them because that would be a lie.
Still, the visions seem to be something only meant for you to see.
Back when I mentioned them to the sannin, Orochimaru seemed very interested - at that time, he seemed all too interested in anything related to you or Itachi, so I never mentioned it before and it’s not like I told them any details or anything, just as we agreed.
Now, I’m kinda thinking Orochi-bastard could maybe have some insight into this? He really is well-versed in the strange and the inexplicable…having often been the initiator of the strange and inexplicable. Not to mention the hundreds of people and children that he experimented on to achieve who the fuck knows what, and his surely uncanny study of the sharingan, so yeah - he might know something.
If you think that’s something you want to do, then I can tell him the details - or you can write to him directly.
Jiraiya finally finished his new book…he’s been whining about how little he gets to write between training with me, drinking with Tsuna and bickering with Orochi, and that he’d normally have it ready much sooner.
It’s so, SO BORING though! Why can’t he write more stuff like the Tales of the Gutsy Ninja instead of this perverted shit? I bet once Kakashi-sensei reads it, even he will find it boring and we all know how big a fan he is of these.
It’s funny though, how he can get it published even as an S-rank missing nin. Doubt it will be sold anywhere in the Land of Fire right now, but we’ve already seen it advertised around Kumo! Like, they don’t even care he’s a missing nin…must be hardcore fans. Then again, it’s not like we’ve been making any trouble for anyone…and with the way Konoha has been treating the other nations, people outside of the Land of Fire just…don’t really seem to care about our supposed crimes.
Even the bounty hunters lost interest a long time ago.
Anyway, he’s making me send you a copy, so feel free to either read it or burn the storage scroll this very instant. He claims Iruka-sensei would enjoy the read but that’s impossible! He totally kept bullying Kakashi about reading them!
Although…I think I did see some copies in his bookshelf before. Must have been some confiscated ones! Stupid Ero-sennin, as if Iruka would like his stupid books!
So burn it. Burn it now.
-N
Naruto,
I AM NOT READING THIS BOOK ALOUD TO ANYONE, LET ALONE IRUKA.
I’m not reading this book, period. I’m also not burning it, because Jiraiya’s right - Iruka does want it. I refused to read it and he said it’s fine, that he’ll just wait for the movie - that he can’t see but apparently that’s ok, he’ll just listen!
Sorry, but Iruka is a closet-pervert and now we all know it. No wonder he and Kakashi got along so well. I do agree though, bet those copies were stolen from Kakashi to begin with…which means he’s the one who corrupted him and will be punished accordingly.
Maybe I will read this crap and then we can spoil the whole plot to him as a prank! That’ll teach him. Scratch that, I won’t read this - I’ll just come up with some bullshit and make him believe those are spoilers!
-S
HAH! With how much he loves re-reading the books, it might not work though. As long as he’ll get to read the new book, he’ll be happy no matter how much we’ll try to spoil it.
I don’t really feel like it anyway. I think he gets to just happily read it all he wants. Then Iruka can berate him about it and then he can read it to Iruka!
Perfect plan!
-N
Fine. No punishment. They can be perverts together happily ever after.
Oh.
WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘OH’?! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT!
Never mind. You’ll figure it out. Eventually. Maybe.
I hate you.
Hate you too.