Archive of Our Own ^beta

The air was suffocating and the back seat of the car felt enclosed. Chuuya sat there, surrounded by agency members, his gaze out the window while Kunikida stared a hole through his head. And fuck-Chuuya wanted those eyes off of him. He wanted out of this fucking car. 

 

He didn’t want to be here right now but unfortunately for him, Kunikida did not trust him with Dazai alone. He was almost insulted by the sentiment. Even more so by the calculating look in Dazai’s eyes at the declaration. Chuuya did not want to be here. Not in this car. Not near this fucking group of people. 

 

The anxiety digs its claws under his skin but Chuuya knows how to keep himself composed. He knows how to appear fine. He wants to gouge out those fucking eyes that haven’t stopped staring. He takes a breath, a little deeper, not noticeable to most. By the time the car rolls to a stop, he’s jumping out of his seat. 

 

Kunikida follows him. Chuuya bites back a snarl. Dazai yawns loudly, stretching his arms in the air. Yosano, the doctor stares at Chuuya with molten eyes that burn worse than fire. He almost wants to run but he is more stubborn than that. He has a job to do. 

 

By the end of it, Chuuya has blood smeared across his knuckles and a busted lip from where he got caught by a punch in the mess. ‘Baki sings in his blood and the feeling in his chest is relief. This violence he knows well, it’s a comfort. The enemy is defeated and Chuuya can finally leave the agency behind. Leave those burning gazes and the way Dazai seems to hesitate in telling them to fuck off. 

 

It aches like he doesn’t trust Chuuya anymore, but he can accept it. He has to. He has to just like he has to do his job . “ Ah, good job Kunikida and Yosano! “ Dazai sings with a crooked smile that used to only be directed at Chuuya. It’s so much softer. “ It happened that fast thanks to your plan Dazai. “ Yosano dusts off her skirt. 

 

Chuuya wants to leave. He wants to run. Movement catches his eye, a lone survivor moving. Probably a fucking idiot with the way shaking hands raise their gun. It’s pointed at Dazai. Chuuya moves before he’s even registering his body moving. The goon shoots, directed at Chuuya now, who activates tainted. The bullet whirls around him, shooting itself into the ground.

 

He hears Dazai yell at him, one hand grabs the gun. The other comes up hard in a punch right underneath the ribcage, hard enough to snap the bone with a sickening crunch. They gasp air punched out of them. Chuuya brings his arm back. A fist forms and punches them in the face, breaking their nose, wrenching the now shattered gun out of limp hands as the body falls unconscious. 

 

“ Holy fuck. “ Yosano breathes, she has one hand around her cleaver. Kunikida has his gun half-raised. Chuuya throws the gun down. He knows there’s blood splattered on his cheek when he turns around. It’s warm and sticky. Too familiar. “ Is there anything else required? “ Chuuya asks, wiping the blood off on his coat sleeve. 

He doesn’t see Dazai or the Agency for a month after that. Chuuya buried his head in his hands when he woke up. It was three am. He had a meeting with the armed detective agency over a mission. This time the meeting was on Chuuya’s schedule because he didn’t have another time slot for it. Today was going to be exhausting. 

 

When he walks into the room the president is there. He’s imposing, a tall man with a stern expression. “ Nakahara, you are on time. “ Kunikida seems startled. Chuuya blinks at him. “ I’m punctual to the best of my ability. “ He answers. The blond seems to regard him differently for a moment. “ Dazai isn’t coming. He never gets up before 10 am. “ Ranpo, who is eating snacks, comments. “ We can start now. “ 

 

Kunikida huffs. Chuuya wordlessly takes a seat further away from the agency. He tries not to be imposing. The president starts the meeting with a firm hand, stating that Dazai won’t be joining them for more personal reasons. Chuuya wonders if it's because of him. He dutifully takes notes and pays attention to the meeting. He doesn’t want to ask questions. 

 

“ Here’s the plan Nakahara. “ Yosano says his name like it’s filthy. He wordlessly nods and takes the paper. Reading it over he recognizes it has Dazai’s handiwork. Operation Glaze Lilly in the shade , He notes before handing the paper back. Yosano stares at him. “ Why are you giving this back? Memorize it. “ She scolds shoving the paperback. Chuuya blinks at her. 

 

“ Apologizes I already know this plan. “ Chuuya says softly, she stares at him wide-eyed. “ What? “ Kunikida snaps. Chuuya tenses. Did he do something wrong? “ I see. You are familiar with it because it’s his plan. “ Fukuzawa says neutrally. 

 

Chuuya nods. “ It’s understandable, considering he was Dazai’s original partner. “ Ranpo pipes up. The president nods. “ What? “ Yosano whispers. Chuuya feels his skin tighten. Is it so bad that he and Dazai were partners? Is Chuuya truly that deplorable? “ I have to get going now. Thank you for having me. “ He stands up and bows. “ Thank you for your hospitality. “ He feels the president's gaze burning into his back on his way out. 

 

Chuuya keeps his head down. The weight of the agency leaves his shoulders as he hurriedly escapes the confines of the building. He feels the tension leave his body. On his way back to the mafia, he sees Dazai smiling and laughing with Atsushi, the tiger. They walk in the direction of the agency, he hadn’t realized the meeting took so long. 

 

Dazai looks significantly happier. Is this the effect of not being around Chuuya? Did he truly make Dazai that upset as a teenager? To see him now smiling so brightly at anyone who isn’t Chuuya hurts. He’s noticed Dazai’s smile become strained and calculated around him. More of a front than genuine. 

 

Chuuya wants nothing more than to see Dazai smile like that all the time. And if it takes him hating Chuuya, leaving the mafia and Chuuya behind then so be it. Chuuya will accept it and he will support it as long as Dazai is happy. No matter how much it hurts. 

He feels the urge to cry build in his heart as he turns away from the scene. Chuuya knows this is an irreversible change. This is the future they have and it is such a pill to swallow. To know his shelter is no longer needed because Dazai has more than just him willing to defend him. And he’s no longer in Mori’s clutches and the president isn’t evil nor does he make Dazai uncomfortable. 

 

Not like the mafia does. Chuuya takes the bitter realization and he accepts it. What else is there to do? 

 

He’s floating with papers hovering around him. Chuuya is at the agency again today. Sent as an offering for the sake of the treaty. He fills out paperwork for missions both the mafia and agency worked on together. “ Nakahara? “ Kunikida calls, he looks up from his paperwork about damages. “ Yes? “ He raises an eyebrow as Kunikida swallows hard. 

 

“ Could you tell me how Dazai was as a partner? “ he asks and Chuuya stares. How does he describe Dazai? With everything he knows about the other. “ I apologize for asking such a question but Dazai has been going through something and I don’t know how to help. “ Kunikida sounds frustrated at himself. 

 

“ Going through something? “ Chuuya huffs brow furrowing. “ Dazai has been struggling with what I believe is a deep sadness. The president might know exactly but as his partner, I want to help lessen that burden. “ He says. “ Dazai won’t answer me when I ask what’s wrong. “ Kunikida frowns. Chuuya blinks. 

 

“ Because you aren’t supposed to ask. “ He says. Kunikida looks at him bewildered. “ Dazai is like a stray cat. You can’t acknowledge what he doesn’t want you to. Distract him instead. Act normal. “ Chuuya puzzles over what the problem could be. 

 

“ Act normal? “ Kunikida whispers. “ Yes. Dazai needs normalcy not human emotions. He sucks at those. It just stresses him out. “ Chuuya makes another mark on the paper. Checking another box. “ You know him very well. “ Kunikida seems a little astonished. Chuuya shrugs, not looking at him. “ We were partners. “ He answers. 

 

The room falls quiet. “ I think you still are. “ Kunikida whispers so softly Chuuya near damn misses it. He tenses. Yeah fucking right. 

 

When Dazai comes into the agency Chuuya and Kunikida are still working. Dazai walks up to Chuuya who’s still floating. He has all the papers in his hands now. Dazai scoops him up, canceling Tainted and startling Chuuya. “ Dazai? “ He yelps, cradled bridal style by the taller, cheeks burning pink. Moving over to his desk Dazai settles them both down on the desk chair. Chuuya is settled on his lap, papers still clutched in his hands. 

 

Bandaged arms wrap around his waist and Dazai buries his face in Chuuya’s neck. His cheeks are still burning. Kunikida hasn’t even looked up from his papers. Chuuya finishes his paperwork portion and leans further back into Dazai. His eyes slip closed. 

 

“ Oh my god. “ A voice whispers. Chuuya makes a small discontented sound. “ He’s in Dazai’s lap! “ Someone else hisses. “ That’s a port mafia executive on Dazai’s lap?! “ Someone whisper-shouts. It sounds eerily similar to the tiger. Chuuya groans softly. The voices quiet down and his eyes open slowly. Frozen in front of Dazai’s desk is the agency. 

 

Atsushi is terrified while Yosano has a smirk on her lips. Kunikida has his face in his hands and his ears are burning. Chuuya feels the urge to hide. “ Comfy there Nakahara? “ She grins like a maniac. Chuuya scowls at her fighting the urge to flush pink. “ Jealous Yosano? “ Dazai drawls head lifting from Chuuya’s neck. His voice still gets deeper when he just wakes up huh? She laughs while Atsushi pales as Chuuya’s face becomes more and more murderous. 

 

“ Dazai you bastard! “ He hisses while the hold on his waist tightens. “ Come on Chibi, you know you always liked it when I napped with you. “ Dazai whispers in his ear and Chuuya blushes this time. “ Fuck off! “ He hisses shoving his head away. “ I didn’t know you were dating. “ Yosano grins. Chuuya shivers. “ Try married actually! “ Ranpo-that fucker-crows from his desk. “ We are not married! “ He yells. 

 

Dazai laughs softly. “ Actually- “ He starts and Chuuya hits him in the chest. “ You bastard! You tricked me, didn’t you?! “ 

 

Dazai follows Chuuya home, draped all over him. He pretends he hates it. Like Dazai draped all over him isn’t comforting. As if his touch and body weight aren’t the most soothing in the world. At some point, he gives up and actively whines at him when Dazai tries to get up. “ Chuu I just gotta go to the bathroom. “ He laughs softly. Chuuya pouts at him. 

 

“ If I let you go will you come back? “ He whispers. 

 

Dazai stares at him like he’s an idiot, but it’s fond and loving. 

 

“ Chuuya, I will always come back to you. “ He kisses Chuuya’s hand. “ You are my reason to live. “ 

 

Tears fill Chuuya’s eyes. “ Please don’t leave me again. “ He whimpers. Dazai kisses his tears away. “ Never. I’ll stay with you forever. “ Dazai promises. They spend the night and day tangled together. Dazai searches for Chuuya every time he leaves to go do something and he takes more than five minutes. 

 

Chuuya melts every time at his partner’s touch. “ Partners? “ He whispers. Dazai grins like a maniac, that same rough smile he always gave Chuuya. “ Partners. “ Dazai presses a kiss to his forehead. “ You are always my partner. “ Dazai grabs his hand and Chuuya leans against him. “ Promise? “ He asks. Dazai smiles again. “ Promise. “ He vows while he makes the mental note to go looking at wedding bands. He refuses to be apart from Chuuya any longer.