Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey, get away from me, Nephrite!” Zoisite hissed angrily.

“I’m trying! It’s not my fault the Prince put our gemstones so close together.” Nephrite rebutted with annoyance.

“Why is it so dark in here? And we are all inside our gemstones, how come are we moving?” Jadeite’s voice became shriller as he spoke, making the others wince.

“Don’t be silly, Shitennou. Prince Endymion-sama has put us inside his pocket dimension so that we can travel with him. I’ll request the Prince to separate Nephrite and Zoisite." He turned away, then started to shout, "Prince Endymion-sama!”

“Please, Kunzite-sama, I’d like to go with Nephrite. I don’t want to hear Zoi…” Jadeite hastily amended when he heard Zoisite huff, “I’m sure that you and Zoisite would like some privacy.”

“Oh, don’t remind me about that…” Nephrite muttered. Kunzite didn’t notice as he was still trying to get the Prince’s attention, but unfortunately Zoisite heard him so he willed his gemstone to crash into Nephrite’s.

“Ouch! Scratching my gemstone and insulting me, I can’t forgive you! In the name of Me… the Earth, I will punish you!” The nephrite somehow straightened up when his Shitennou spoke just to hit the zoisite after, and soon a brawl broke out between the two gemstones. Jadeite tried to roll his gemstone into a corner, only to hit the Prince’s pocket wall and crash right into the two fighting Shitennou.

After a while, Kunzite returned his attention to his subordinates. “I have tried contacting the Prince, but it appears that he is very… ahem… busy with the Moon Princess, so we will be stuck like this for… HALT!”

Kunzite’s order reverberated inside the pocket, and the gemstones stopped fighting and gained a slight pink hue that reflected their owners’ embarrassment. The lead Shitennou waited for some moments before continuing to admonish the others, “Do tell me, how did this fight begin?”

“Nephrite/Zoisite started it!” The two Shitennou accused the other at the same time. They were about to fight again when Kunzite narrowed his eyes, so they retreated and Zoisite resumed speaking, “I was the one who started hitting him, but he insulted both of us first, Kunzite-sama!”

Nephrite huffed but did not voice any disagreement, so Kunzite turned to Jadeite, “Did Zoisite tell the truth?”

“Yes, he did. I did not even want to fight them, I only crashed into them by mistake, Kunzite-sama!”

“… and ruined my gemstone,” Nephrite muttered while giving both Jadeite and Zoisite dirty looks.

“Enough, Nephrite. We have been reformed for not even a full day, and yet you three were fighting each other as if we were still at the Dark Kingdom’s service. Your conduct has brought shame to Prince Endymion and to all of us, and I expect that this will never happen again. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, Kunzite-sama.” All three other Shitennou chorused.

“Very good, I expect you to reflect on your behavior in silence for the rest of the journey. Except for you, Zoisite,” Kunzite’s tone was more severe yet his gemstone glinted inside the darkness of a modern pocket, “you have been very naughty, so I have no choice but to punish you…”

“Kunzite-sama…” Zoisite’s gemstone glinted back.

“Oh no…” Both Jadeite and Nephrite retreated inside their gemstones. Unfortunately, while that the stones blocked their view, they also amplified the sounds that the two Shitennou were trying to pretend that they were not hearing. This was going to be a very long journey…

Chapter Text

“Aaaaargh! I can’t take this anymore!” Nephrite cried out from his stone, making every other Shittenou stare at him.

“What’s the matter?” Jadeite asked, while the disheveled Kunzite and Zoisite were straightening themselves.

“What’s not the matter? We’re stuck inside this dark … shelf with no way out, and Prince Endymion-sama makes us stay inside this – this... box!”

“Actually, it seems like we’re inside a modified cassette tape,” Jadeite pointed out.

“Even Beryl did not make us share the same room! Not to mention there is nothing in here except you as well as Zoisite and Kunzite-sama who never stop making out!”

“Hey! Did you hear that, Kunzite-sama? He insulted us!” Zoisite cried in indignance.

“Don’t make excuses, Zoisite, you know that we hear better inside the stones. Anyway, I must find a way out of here.”

“Nephrite, I know that you are dissatisfied with our current predicament,” Kunzite spoke in a placating tone, “but there is nothing you can do about it. Only Prince Endymion-sama is able to summon us out of our stones…”

“A-ha! I think I got it!”

“… and we must accept this as a punishment for the crimes we committed…”

“Nephrite, what are you doing?” asked Jadeite and Zoisite at the same time.

“… while we worked as lackeys of the Dark Kingdom…”

“Adieu, fools!” Nephrite jumped out of his stone and disappeared, leaving behind three shellshocked Shitennou. Jadeite was the first to recover, and he also jumped while shouting, “Wait for me, Nephrite!”

Zoisite and Kunzite stayed still for a few more seconds until the latter started wiggling his eyebrows, “Now that we’re all alone, there’s a new position…”

“I can’t believe those fools figured out how to escape the stones before me! This is unacceptable!” Zoisite jumped out after he finished speaking, and Kunzite rolled his eyes in exasperation before following suit.

They found themselves admiring a clean and tidy room, in front of a widescreen TV. Nephrite was sitting on an armchair, while the other Shitennou walked around the room in silence.

“Hmm, I did not expect Prince Endymion-sama’s palace to be so small.” Kunzite broke the silence after a long moment.

“Indeed. This is even smaller than our personal quarters back in the Dark Kingdom.” Jadeite agreed.

“The screen is smaller as well. I missed having multiple big screens.” Zoisite lamented.

“I can’t believe that Prince Endymion chooses such an inferior material to be his throne.” Nephrite crossed his legs and stroke the armrest as he spoke. “This is a far cry from the carved stone chairs in the Dark Kingdom, and its design cannot hold a candle to the klismoi of the ancient Earth Kingdom.”

“Nephrite, we’re ghosts. We pass through things,” Zoisite put his hand through the TV to demonstrate, “we can’t feel any kind of materials.”

“It’s only a matter of the mind for us, Zoisite.” Nephrite spoke with only mild annoyance. “I can feel this armchair in the same way as you are standing and walking on the floor.”

Zoisite was about to argue when he saw Kunzite shake his head lightly, so he huffed and dropped the matter. Instead, he walked through the glass windows and stood on the balcony.

“Shitennou, look! The view here is great!”

The others manifested near him in an instant. “I agree,” said Jadeite. “I miss the sunlight so much.”

“Indeed, Prince Endymion-sama’s modern palace is dozens of times higher than the Earth Kingdom’s watchtowers. I have to give modern humanity some praise.” Kunzite joined in the conversation, while Zoisite looked as if he was drinking Kunzite’s every word.

“I can only imagine how great the view will be at night. Stars twinkle in the sky, while the wind caresses the curtains…” Nephrite spoke while rubbing his head against the curtains’ fabric, and the other Shitennou traded awkward looks before teleporting to Prince Endymion’s study room in silence.

“Ah, it appears that Prince Endymion-sama is also a man of knowledge in the modern times.” Kunzite admired his Prince’s vast personal library. “Although his past self was more interested in philosophy, his current reincarnation seems to incline towards medicine.”

“Why does he have so few books though? He used to have so many scrolls that he needed entire walls to place them.”

“Probably because his modern palace is too small to contain that many books, Zoisite. Besides, the war with the Moon Kingdom destroyed the Earth Palace as well, I doubt that any of the scrolls survived.”

“They may have survived if someone had not torched the Palace.” Zoisite crossed his arms while glaring daggers at Jadeite, who quickly raised his hands in surrender.

“It wasn’t me, it was Metalia who made me do it!” At both Zoisite and Kunzite’s unimpressed looks, he changed his tone, “Fine, it was all my fault. Happy?”

“Better,” Zoisite spoke haughtily.

“Zoisite, don’t frown so much, it does not suit your beautiful face at all.” Kunzite approached Zoisite and slowly placed his arm on his lover’s shoulders, then spoke in a low gravel tone. “Besides, do you think that our Prince keeps a copy of Kama Sutra on his bookshelf?”

“I prefer reenacting Kama Sutra positions, Kunzite-sama.” Zoisite spoke coyly, and his eyelids looked heavier than usual when he turned towards Kunzite. Jadeite’s face turned red before he decided to return to his gemstone, at least he would have some peace and quiet inside the Prince’s drawers. He might forget that they were all dead, given that their activities were almost identical to their time under the Dark Kingdom’s service minus the evil scheming...

Chapter Text

“I’m bored, Kunzite-sama.” Zoisite moaned.

“Well, I know what we can do…” Kunzite wiggled his eyebrows.

“Not like that, Kunzite-sama. There are not many things we can do when we are dead, and we are stuck wearing the same outfits all the time.”

“He’s actually right.” Nephrite joined the conversation, ignoring Zoisite’s indignant look. “As classy as our outfits are, I do miss the smooth feel of silk on my skin at night.”

“I miss my jogging outfits. Or that time I impersonated a bus driver…” Jadeite joined in with a nostalgic look upon his face.

Kunzite rolled his eyes at his subordinates. “Zoisite, can you beli–”

“Remember Beryl’s masquerade ball? Jadeite, you were a ship captain. Nephrite, you wore a tuxedo, a ridiculous top hat and a purple mask…” As Zoisite prattled on, Kunzite buried his face in his hands while Nephrite started to huff.

“I was wearing a Tuxedo Mask costume, while you were pretending to be Sailor Moon but you would not let me come near you.”

“Oh please, your costume was so bad that you had to tell everyone who you were supposed to be. It was funny at first, but then it got tedious even for me.”

“As if your costume was any better. Sailor Moon’s ribbons were PINK, not purple. And I’m pretty sure she doesn’t use a boomerang for Moon Tiara Action.”

“At least I put on blonde odango. Nothing could have made you change your hair.”

“Excuse me? Don’t you remember that before I died, I tried to be a bride to lure all those foolish grooms? It took me hours to get the hairstyle right, not to mention that I had to wear a veil!”

“Wasn’t that supposed to be your shadow? Or you did get thrown around by Sailor Jupiter like some old rags?” Zoisite giggled while whispered in a conspiratorial manner to Kunzite and Jadeite, who looked amused.

“I switched places with my shadow when those pesky Senshi – ”

“Remember that we have reformed, Nephrite. They are Prince Endymion-sama’s allies, thus they are our allies as well.”

“– showed up! I still had to spend weeks dressing up as a bride! How dare you!” Nephrite suddenly changed into his bride form mid-sentence, rendering all the other three Shitennou in shock. “What? Why are you all opening your mouths? Wh– what am I wearing?” He finally caught his reflection in his own gemstone, then the others’.

“Whoa…” Jadeite said dumbly.

“Not bad...” Kunzite nodded his head and slowly stroke his chin.

“Kunzite-sama!” Zoisite cried out, and in an instant he was wearing the same wedding dress as Nephrite’s.

“Who knows, we can change our outfits after all.” said Jadeite.

“Zoisite, you know full well that I only have my eyes on you. Nothing Nephrite or anyone else wear can ever compare to your beauty.” Nephrite rolled his eyes at Kunzite’s words, while Jadeite patted him on the back.

“Really? Not even Sailor Venus?”

“What do you mean by that? I have never even considered her in either of my past lives!”

“Then why were you hand in hand with her at Prince Endymion-sama’s ball?”

“Because it was a diplomatic event between the Earth Kingdom and the Moon Kingdom, so each of us had to dance with each of the Moon Princess’ guardians. Don’t you remember that you danced with Sailor Mercury at the same ball? While Jadeite danced with Sailor Mars and Nephrite danced with Sailor Jupiter?”

Both Jadeite and Nephrite cringed at the last sentence while Zoisite was only a little mollified. “Humph.”

“You know, we could have a dance between the two of us.” Kunzite turned into a groom, and Zoisite finally turned towards Kunzite.

“You mean it?” Zoisite batted his eyelashes.

“Of course.”

“Oh, Kunzite-sama…” The two of them embraced and started to dance, while the other two Shitennou traded awkward looks.

“I’ll go window shopping. ” Nephrite spoke then vanished from view.

“Um… yes, I’ll go with Nephrite. Wait for me!” Jadeite followed suit, and soon the lovers were alone.

“Hmm, Kunzite-sama, could we change our outfits? The wedding dress looks good on me but it is so inconvenient to wear.”

“Of course, Zoisite. We can wear anything you want, or nothing at all.” Kunzite smirked at the end, and Zoisite caught on.

“We’ll get to that later, Kunzite-sama. I’m thinking about… this.” Zoisite indicated a magazine nearby, which showed a blond man wearing studded black leather.

“Of course. Don’t you think I can make the cassette player play the right music?”

“I believe you can do anything for me, Kunzite-sama…”

Chapter Text

“You see this painting, Jadeite?”

“Which one, Nephrite?”

“ ‘Space’ by Kaioh Michiru, the rising star of the art world. The space whale motif is clearly due to the influence of the American artist Christian Riese Lassen, whose works became popular in Japan in the last decade thanks to a Japanese art collector.”

“Hmm…”

“Space whale art can be traced back to the 1960s and 1970s, thanks to a combination of environmentalism, scientific advancements, psychedelic drug culture and the space race...”

“Indeed.”

As Nephrite’s lecture went on, Jadeite fought back an increasing desire to yawn. He did not find this any better than having to listen to some random Youma prattle on about how her plan would be the most efficient at collecting human energy and promote his rank in the Dark Kingdom, though at least he would have a good night after that. Too bad that neither he nor Nephrite were interested in the other, and Jadeite did not believe that Nephrite was capable of feeling attraction towards anything that was not his own voice or his own reflection…

“There you are! I did not expect you to be an art lover as well, Jadeite!” Zoisite’s voice shook Jadeite out of his stupor while Nephrite stopped mid-speech.

“Kunzite-sama! Zoisite!” Jadeite cried out. He did not correct Zoisite’s remark because he could not bring himself to admit that as boring as Nephrite’s monologue was, it was still much better than having to hear the lovers making out under whatever music inside the Prince’s cassette tapes or TV.

“What are the two of you doing here? I thought you two wanted some… privacy.” Nephrite placed careful emphasis on the last word.

“We did, and we tried out some new positions while wearing leather,” Zoisite briefly switched his outfits to studded leather and a whip, which Kunzite appreciated while both Jadeite and Nephrite looked as if they wanted to gag, “but Prince Endymion-sama and the Moon Princess walked in on us!”

“Did they see you?” Jadeite asked, his curiosity won out against his disgust at hearing his fellow Shitennou’s love life.

“No, they did not, thank Me… thank the Moon for that. But she turned off our music while screaming our ears off, and that killed our mood so we decided to join you two here. Anyway, Nephrite,” Zoisite batted his eyelashes and spoke in a saccharine tone that did not work on anyone except Kunzite, “what have you been doing today?”

“Oh no.” Jadeite groaned in a low tone, and Kunzite looked at him curiously.

“Ah, I’m glad that you have finally embraced human luxury. You see, this is the newest artwork by Kaioh…”

“AAAARGH!” Jadeite screamed and quickly hid behind Kunzite, who was as bewildered as the other two Shitennou.

“What’s the matter, Jadeite?” The lead Shitennou asked.

“She… she’s here.”

“Who’s she?”

“Sai… Sailor… M- Mars.”

“What?” All three other Shitennou asked incredulously before looking around, and none of them saw a Senshi in red anywhere in the gallery.

“Jadeite? Are you sure you saw Sailor Mars?” Nephrite asked.

“I… I’m not sure.” He started peering out from behind Kunzite’s back, only to hide again. “But that girl looks a lot like her.”

“Who?” The others chorused.

“H- Her.”

They followed Jadeite’s finger towards a girl with long black hair and a pink dress. They were confused for a moment, until Nephrite exclaimed, “That is not Sailor Mars! Her hair does not have purple accents!”

“Besides, even if she were indeed a Sailor Senshi, she would not have been able to see you, so she could not kill you for the second time.” Kunzite spoke calmly.

“Oh, Jadeite, are you afraid of Sailor Mars that much? I remember that you used to have a thing for girls with long dark hair.” Zoisite spoke in a far too cheerful tone. “You even slept with a few Youma who looked like that, like… what’s her name? Metis? Tethys?”

“Doris? Thaleia? Themisto?” Nephrite joined in, while Jadeite buried his face in his hands.

“Ah-ha! Thetis! That Youma had nursed quite a crush on you for a long time, only to get herself killed by Sailor V.”

“Anyway, can we get out of here? I don’t need to be reminded of how I died all the time.” Jadeite grumbled.

“Come on, Jadeite.” Nephrite patted his shoulder in a consoling manner. “There are so many girls with long black hair in Tokyo, you can’t just run away any time you see –”

KA-BOOM!

Nephrite shrieked as thunder struck Tokyo, and he quickly jumped on the arms of the closest Shitennou. That turned out to be Zoisite, who shrieked just as shrilly as Nephrite while throwing him on the ground, “Get off of me, you pervert! Kunzite-sama, help me!”

“Ouch! That hurts, Zoisite! I may be dead, but I still have feelings you know!”

“Humph! Jump on Jadeite if you like, and don’t you dare touching my Kunzite-sam…. AAAAARGH!”

A sharp piece of artwork flew through where the Shitennou stood, though thankfully missed the pale-faced Zoisite by a few centimeters. He went still for a few moments before resumed speaking at a lower volume, “Kunzite-sama, let’s get out of here.”

“Agreed.”

They moved to a sparser area, with fewer buildings and more trees. The sun had set in Tokyo, and darkness now enveloped the entire city. Suddenly, the sky glowed.

“What was that?” Jadeite asked.

“I have no idea. Let’s go have a look.” Kunzite spoke.

They saw a few figures emerge from the light’s direction: a woman with long hair in the front, and a few others behind her. Jadeite cowered behind Nephrite, who chuckled, “Really? It’s only a girl. She’s surely not –”

The woman pointed her finger at a nearby bush, and it caught fire. Jadeite and Nephrite were now holding each other tight, while Zoisite clung to Kunzite, who was the only Shitennou to remain calm. “Don’t panic, Shitennou. Remember that we’re only ghosts, no one will be able to harm –”

Kunzite’s words died on his lips as the mysterious woman pointed her finger at a child who was hiding behind a tree near them, and the child soon was engulfed in fire.

“AAAAARGH!”