Chapter Text
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Cesare said, leaning on the desk in front of him, hands splayed before him in utter disbelief as he stared the receptionist down.
“Cesare…” she warned in her usual monotone voice. She, Cesare didn’t even know her name as he’d never bothered to learn it in the past several thousand years, glared at him over the top of her glasses signifying he’d better not complain too much. He could get away with a few of his grievances though.
“No, this is ridiculous. That thing has never become a problem before. What? Some random human on the Internet takes one blurry photo and suddenly you make me go try and catch the thing? Nuh uh, no way, no thank you.” Cesare snapped, pushing off the desk and putting his hands on his hips with a frown deeper than his non-existent grave.
“Good thing it’s not up to you” The receptionist said as she looked down at a small stack of paper work that Cesare was tempted to mess up just to spite her. “You know your job, do it.”
“Yeah, the job I was supposed to retire from two months ago?” he shot back, still bitter. She glared at him again, a look that said the conversation was over if he wanted to keep all his limbs.
“I won’t say it again.” She warned. Cesare threw his hands up and turned around, heading to the narrow stair case that spiraled up to the surface.
“Fine!” He said, exasperated. “I’ll go catch pale tall and skinny! You’d better get a cage fuckin big enough for it, I ain’t doing this twice.” She didn’t reply.
After two months of being promised a new assignment, and rudely being told he wouldn’t get his retirement, he was finally given a job he was dreading doing. He’d spent all the time working in the van, deciding to open it back up out of boredom. Definitely not because he felt bad about pulling a rug out from under his crew.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Speaking of. He pulled it out and flipped it open, a pixely picture of Doctor displayed on the tiny Nokia screen. “Whatcha got for me, Doc?” he said, answering the call.
“Hey boss, just uh, wondering where you are? The truck’s been open for an hour, we opened without you” Doctor said, almost sounding worried. A dusty hidden part of him nipped at the idea of his crew doing things without him but he pushed it down.
“Good, we need our sales up.” He said, walking up the stone stairs to God knows where it spat him out this time.
“You didn’t answer the question. Where have you been?” Doctor pushed, Cesare recoiling at the slightly accusatory tone.
“None of your beeswax, Doctor.” Cesare bit back, a bit harsher than he’d meant but it would work. “Good old Management has another job for me. You mind holding down the fort while I’m gone?” He heard someone drop something on the other end of the phone and Doctor curse.
“What? You’re leaving?” Doctor asked, the phone sounding like it was shifting around. “You’re just leaving me to run the truck?”
“I did give you a key, didn’t I?” Cesare said, a frown tugging at his face. “It shouldn’t be too long, I am the best there is”
“Don’t you need the truck for your cover up?” Doctor asked, sounding alarmed. Cesare sighed.
“Don’t need it for this one, Doc , don’t worry.” He said.
“I wasn’t worried” Doctor said dryly. Cesare rolled his eyes, finally getting to the stop of the stairs. It was a bit of a relief when he ended up in an ally not far from where the truck was parked, only a few blocks away.
“I’ll talk to you when I get back, Doc” he said, Doctor grumbling something before saying goodbye and hanging up.
Cesare walked the rout to the truck, legs just starting to stiffen from all the stairs and the walk back to the truck. He was almost delighted to see the damn vehicle. Frances saw him from the window and waved, a grin on their face.
It was weird, the way his crew interacted with him now. After knowing he was dead, was powered by literal magic, and has hunted cryptids for a thousand plus years, they were still the same to him. As if nothing happened.
And hey, sue him if he actually went out with them when they asked now from time to time, or that he got a little worried when they didn’t show up for work on time. It was just something to pass the time while management got him a new job.
He approached the window, leaning on the counter and looking up a t Frances with a frown. “Welcome to Zomburger, how can I serve you today?” Frances said with a smirk. They had safety pins earrings dangling from their ears, a tip off to the rest of the crew on how they were feeling for the day.
“Great attitude not here for the food though.” Cesare said, Frances leaning on the counter as well.
“Because you can’t eat?” they quipped, Cesare rolling his eyes. “What would even happen if you did? Can you even taste?” Cesare sighed, he would never be able to answer every single one of the questions Frances threw at him on a daily basis.
“Yes, because I can’t eat.” He said, sighing. “It would pass right through me. Not fond of shitting my pants, thank you very much. I can taste just fine though.”
“What if you like, just chewed gum?” Frances asked, blowing a sugary bubble a little too close to his face for him to be comfortable with. He leaned away as they popped it with a grin.
“I’ll pass.” He said and walked away from the window and around to the door, opening it and climbing in. He took a seat at his so called office and sighed. He’d need to leave soon. Part of him really didn’t want to, even if this is what he’d been waiting for.
Someone knocked on the door frame, Cesare turning slightly to glare in their direction. Doctor was leaned against the door frame, a disgruntled look on his face. “When are you leaving?” Doctor asked, a look that was starting to be come unreadable.
“Soon. Don’t get all pissy because I set off your abandonment issues.” Cesare said, turning toward the wheel. “How are we doing with sales?”
“What if we came with you? Take the truck and tour around a bit? It could raise popularity?” Doctor said, both ignoring Cesare’s questions and seeming to grasp at straws.
“Its not about the truck.” Cesare said, gripping the wheel in front of him. “I reopened it for you three, not for me. It’s how you get paid. And I don’t get paid for these assignments, I get paid in not dying, and I’d rather it if my employees didn’t die either.” He said, a little louder than he’d meant to.
“Sales were good.” Doctor said after a few moments of Cesare silently seething. “Got quite a few customers, most of them taking pictures in front of the truck.” Cesare turned slightly to look at him.
“Good,” He said, watching Doctor relax slightly and walk over, sitting in the passenger seat next to him which was quickly becoming souly his.
“I want to come with you” Doctor said after a moment. “I want to know what your other jobs are like.” The undertone of ‘I want to know what you are like’ wasn’t lost on him.
“And leave those too bozos to run the truck? No way.” Cesare said with a dry laugh. “There’s a reason I left you with the key.” Doctor smiled just slightly.
“Right, boss.” He said with a nod. “We could still take the whole truck with us?” He offered and Cesare forced out a breath he didn’t need.
“Why are you so adamant on this, Doc?” he asked rather harshly.
“Because I don’t want…I just want to see what your other jobs are like! And…you’ve said they’re dangerous. I don’t want to see you get hurt” Cesare barked out a laugh with barely any humor attached.
“That’s the quickest way to see me get hurt. You can’t protect me, Doc. And I know that medical degree of yours is fake” He said and Doctor frowned, obviously not letting the subject go. They both stared each other down for a moment, Doctor not letting up and Cesare getting sick of the eye contact. Doctor blinked and Cesare barked out a laugh, pointing a finger in his face. “I WIN! YOU BLINKED.”
“That was so utterly childish, boss” Doctor said and Cesare groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “Just- bring us with out to the site, we’ll hang out and get customers, sleep at a hotel- it’ll be fun”
“I don’t need you humans to mess this up for me or get hurt in the process.” Cesare said, crossing his arms. Doctor made a face eerily similar to a pout, which looked almost funny in his make up.
“You were human once too, boss.” Doctor pointed out and Cesare recoiled, leaning back in his seat and staring out the windshield.
“Fine.” He said after a moment. “We’re heading out to Alabama first.” He muttered and Doctor grinned.
“You’re the best, boss” He said and quickly stood, running off to the back to tell the other two. Cesare sighed and frowned. What did he just get himself into. A road trip with three theater majors? Sounded like torcher. And yet, a tiny little dormant part of him self was kind of excited.
He heard the chatter of his employees, excited ranting from Frances and occasional rumble of laughter from Conrad. “Road trip!” He heard Frances cheer happily and Cesare allowed himself a sliver of a smile.