Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Mother! You’re back, you really are!”

Her dress is still torn apart underneath her cover, and he notices her hand shaking as she opens her arms big and wide to hug the orphan kids who prayed for her return.

He notices. That tired, scared look in her eyes.

Rage simmers slowly in his chest. He had killed the culprit of her fear already, had repented for the sins of his past life by doing so but still...  He felt like he didn’t have enough. The bodies laying on the streets weren’t enough, he needed more, more blood, more violence, more--

“Silkie?”

Justice.

“I already finished tucking the kids to bed, I believed we should get some rest ourselves.”

She looks at him with a special sympathy, a soft gaze that is reserved only for him. She gently touches his stomach, worried eyes scanning for injuries she may have missed, and he stills. Does she know? Now she couldn’t have known the things he did… But oh, yeah, he forgot he got hit like this in front of her when she was taken away.

His shoulders relax.

“Does it still hurt?”

“Not at all, Freille-san.”

“Are you sure? But I…”

He takes her hand. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Freille lets go of him, nodding, and for a second, he believes he misses her warmth. She prays silently, and he waits for her.  Before they bid each other farewell, he suggests a change for the night.

“Tuck me to sleep?” Freille’s cheeks become slightly red, brown furrowed, looking at him in a strange disbelief. “What are you saying? I am not a child.”

“You don’t have to be a child for me to care about you.” And at that, her expression softens, and he takes her hand, “I already do.”

The saint relaxes, holding his hand near her cheek with a pitiful look. He’s enthralled by those merciful golden eyes, that take pity for anyone else but herself. More know than ever, he feels the need to protect her, this woman who allowed a serial killer like him have a second chance.

“Will you let me?”

He talks in a whisper, almost afraid to break this beautiful moment where he longs to find his humanity hidden somewhere into her gaze.

“Of course.”

They put out the candles and head to the nun’s room. Silkie has been here before, of course, but it had never felt so intimate as it does now, where he can hear every breath the sister takes, and feel a strange shiver travel down his spine. He looks away as Freille changes into comfortable clothes, closes his eyes and dares not to open them until she has said its fine.

She is gorgeous. Blonde hair free from her veil, cascading down her neck and meeting shoulder. She smiles softly when she notices his gaze on her, and despite everything, he feels himself smiling too.

Whenever he is on her side, he feels sane.

“…This is weird.”

It’s the first thing she says once she has fully gotten on her bed. She sounds more like a person now, and less like the sister he knows.

“Is it? You do this every day.”

“For the children!”

They laugh together, and she gets herself comfortable under the covers. He sits nearby in a chair, even though Freille told him to just sit on the bed with her. He watches her silently for a moment, a gentle expression on her beautiful face with a subtle anxiety he manages to pick up.  She was willing to sacrifice herself for his good, for the kids, still is. Silkie can’t understand the reason behind it, but he feels it might be similar to his; she may feel she deserves this. That the goddess wanted it like that.

But not him.

“You have nothing to worry about, Freille-san. I’ll watch your dreams closely, so that only good things find you.”

Yes, this kind spirited soul should get all the good things in life. That way, he won’t feel as bad when he directs the bad things away from her.

Her chest rise and fall as Freille relaxes under his protective gaze, large eyelashes fluttering alongside trembling lips as she softly sights a snore. He can’t help but smile, she looks so peaceful like this, like an actual saint. Her figure is dimly lit by the moon, and he knows that there’s nothing as important to him as her in this moment.

She’s the second chance that the goddess has given him.

If he loses her, he loses himself.